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shallowrambles · 2 years ago

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So, I am on my yearly Raphael-and-Cas kick. And I got to thinking about Rachel and Balthazar, specifically. I don't have it all together in my head yet, but...

I keep seeing Godstiel framed as "was Dean right, or was Cas right"? and--and--it's not that simple. it's WAR. War sucks, and you make a decision and go with it, and sometimes it blows up and no one is exactly "right." You turn around, and you find that it's all gone wrong.

Or I see "Godstiel" analyzed in terms , "well, God killed people who are *obviously* morally wrong, so that makes it okay," as if murder is justified when the people killed are cartoonishly symbolic of "wrong / other / hypocrite / racist." (Light Yagami syndrome, anyone? It always starts with good intentions, and then power corrupts.)

Anyway, not as often do I see it analyzed with the angels who turned their back on Raphael to fight with Cas, or even Balthazar in mind. So I wanted to ramble about that today... It might become something formal later IDK.

I think, militarily, what it boils down to?

Cas wanted unquestioning allegiance for a unilateral decision he made about how to win the war.

///

The commander who withheld critical info from his devoted rebels

Ok so like, if you're fighting a war or a battle or whatever--forget family for a second.

You are effectively a commander. And you want support, right? But suppose you withhold vital info from your top troops who are risking it ALL for you? That's not okay. And Cas did thar to his troops. And why did Cas withhold vital info?

Well, I think it could be because he didn't trust the angels. (And the thing is--he should've, right? They're going up against a friggin' archangel with him, to spit in the face of Fate and The Grand Plan!) But I suspect it's also because Cas wants to be supported, not questioned. Could he have split the power with other angels and mounted an effective force? Probably!

And he teaching poetry to fish thing? That's part frustration, but it's part-hubris. "No one else can think like me," is an error in thinking. It's what authoritarianism strives to CONVINCE you of. It strives to convince you that your cause is isolated and alone. And that drives you to be rash. It separates you from recognizing potential sympathizers. It works to prevent sympathizers from coming forward, too.

Authoritarianism actually messes up Cas pretty good fir most of the story. It's what drives him to hang the hopes of the future on Jack's power, but that's for another day.

Rachel and Cas

RACHEL Castiel, I've been hearing things. Things I don't want to believe. Just tell me if it's true.

CASTIEL: I have to defeat Raphael.

RACHEL: Not this way, Castiel.

CASTIEL: Rachel.

RACHEL: We put our faith in you, and...look what you're turning into.

CASTIEL: I have no choice.

Yeah, okay. Rachel pulled her blade on Cas pretty quickly, but she's been delivered a HUGE blow here. She went out on a limb to support Cas against an unbeatable enemy.

And now? She's hearing things from others before she hears it from Cas, and she's his second-in-command!

So, she's trusts her instincts and pulls her blade. And I'd wager that her instincts are right about Cas here. He's desperate and withholding info, ergo he's willing to kill to keep his plan under wraps. (Look at what happens to Bal later...)

Why the H-E-L-L is Cas acting so desperate? Well, for starters, for the first time within his CURRENT memory bank, he has something to lose (his human loved ones), and that's messing with his ability to act rationally and carefully. He's become a dreaded "uncontrollable/rasg" blue collar soldier, acting on behalf of his new family. (This is considered a political threat authoritarian regions.)

This is why I think Dean sucks as a commander, generally, too, btw. He's too emotional and wiling to do anything for the family's survival unless it's himself or an extension of himself on the line, or if he loses hope in the cause itself. (It's kind of like why we don't operate on our own family members; we shouldn't have to command our family members during battles either. It makes us unhinged.) Family makes you stronger, family makes you weaker, yadda yadda SPN themes.

Cas's also right in his analysis of himself in his narration in "The Man Who Would Be King." He's got hubris. (He came back from the dead twice, so...it's no wonder.) Eventually, he'll see it as a punishment resurrection, but during season 6, I do agree with him that he overestimated his own importance--a bit of chosen one syndrome. (Everyone trades this role back and forth during the series.)

///

Balthazar and Cas

DEAN: You're gonna torture a kid? CASTIEL: I can't care about that, Dean! I don't have the luxury.

As for Balthazar? Well, Cas seems to trust Balthazar because of the past, but I'd wager his duplicity is actually attractive to Cas in season 6. Balthazar is already lying and acting on dubious ethics at the start of the season by staking a claim on a child's soul.

So, that unethical behavior becomes attractive in a sense, within the rules of guerilla warfare, and Cas recruits him as most trusted. He sort-of lets him in with the whole weapons and unsinking the Titanic thing, but he doesn't hand him the full story.

Eventually, it shifts. Later in the story, Balthazar has been sticking his neck out for Cas, and not only is Cas not listening to Bal (are you with me or against me?), he also implies he had no intention of telling him his plans (how'd you hear about this anyway?):

BALTHAZAR: (laughs) Always were such a terrible liar. So it's true. Alright then, why?

CASTIEL: It's a means to an end. Balthazar, you understand that.

BALTHAZAR: Oh, absolutely. But what's the end here exactly? You know, raid Purgatory, snatch up all the souls?

CASTIEL: Win the war.

BALTHAZAR: And I can only assume that you'd be the vessel, correct? Suck up all those souls into yourself? All that power?

CASTIEL: It's the only way.

BALTHAZAR: Or too much juice for you, in which case you explode, taking a substantial chunk of the planet along with you.

CASTIEL: That won't happen.

BALTHAZAR: Sure, sure. Of course. (scoffs) Just - just tell me that it's entirely risk-free.

CASTIEL: I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I need to know. Are you with me or not?

BALTHAZAR: (chuckles) Ah. You know, you may be certifiable, but fine. In for a penny, in for a pound.

CASTIEL: How'd you hear about this anyway?

BALTHAZAR: Oh, your howler monkeys of course. See they're just a touch worked up about that kidnapping business, you know?

So uh, not for nothin, but Bal was worried about Cas AND the planet EXPLODING. We can extrapolate that any angel would have an issue with this. Indeed, in addition to being prejudiced against "dirty" demons, it's maybe why Rachel took issue with the plan, too. So, Cas's friends were worried about earth going boom, and charitably, worried about "martyr-Cas" going boom, too.

///

But Cas expected 100% support...from everyone. No questions asked.

Even Balthazar was afraid to disagree, "are you with me or against me," is ultimatum. Balthazar read the situation rightly. So Bal ran to folks he thought Cas woukd treat with kid-gloves / more gently. (Also right.)

///

Sigh. At the crux of it all...

Cas, you dummy. You can't go radio silent and expect full support with no questions asked when you've been withholding critical info like that! Not from your soldiers, not from your family, not from anyone.

///

With his human family, he left Dean in the dark for a year with no contact. Then, he omitted info like Sam's missing soul, a hiccup that almost gets multiple combatants killed (Dean, Bobby).

CASTIEL: Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you? All I ask is this one thing.

DEAN: Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?

CASTIEL: I've earned that, Dean.

DEAN: (scoffs)

CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.

DEAN: You're asking me to stand down?

CASTIEL: Dean.

DEAN: That's the same damn ransom note that Crowley handed me. You know that, right?

Yea, the thing is. Cas knows that. That's exactly why he's phrasing it in this FLOWERY way. (It reminds me of the language Dean uses to shame Kevin later actually, lol. "Are you gonna turn your back on us when we care so much and we're family / Cas is saying are you gonna turn your back on me with all that I've done for you?")

Are Cas's emotions true? Sure. He's stressed out and emotional and he is DEFINITELY doing this with GOOD intentions. But he's also acting unconsciously-manipulatively. "I did all of these things for you, so you should support me unconditionally."

This is...not how trust works.

Yeah, Cas is right that trust goes both ways. But trust means sharing critical battle information with your trusted rebel soldiers. It's sharing dangerous information with your family before it gets out of hand. It's trusting people to disagree with you. And Rachel, Balthazar, Dean--all of them disagree with his very, very, VERY risky plan. Just because you "do it all, all of it for you," doesn't mean you can do whatever you want in a relationship. It's not like you buy a person dinner, save their life, and they're obligated to have to 100%, no-questions-asked support you because of that. That's where Cas messes up.

Just because you command a flight of angels with a clear chain of command doesn't mean you're not obligated to share critical battle information with them, you sweet dunderhead.

Yeah, Sam and Dean didn't really "get" the Raphael civil war, but Cas purposely withheld that info. He acted too busy to tell them things in order to get out of telling them things. Like with Rachel & Balthazar, it seems like he had no intention of telling them till the plan was already sprung.

ALSO, who ELSE withheld a bunch of information, put his fam in danger while swearing he was doing it to protect them, didn't answer his phone / prayers, and threw himself into the war as a lone wolf in order "to protect them?"

Oh. The flawed soldier, John Winchester. Ouch. Am I saying Cas = John? Hell, naw. But there are parallels in the tactics of radio silence + expecting trust. It's a lone wolf soldier thing. Mary does it, too, later on.

///

Even Balthazar, child!soul snatcher extraordinaire, number one Cas!supporter, and angel of questionable moral integrity looked at the soul nuke idea and balked. And he judged (rightfully?) that he couldn't talk to Cas about it. He's known Cas since forever, and Cas's mental state had him running to outsiders for help, because he judged (rightfully) Cas to be dangerous:

BALTHAZAR: Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think so.

DEAN: Balthazar.

BALTHAZAR: I'm betraying a friend here. A very powerful friend. We all are. So I think I've stuck my neck out far enough already. Good luck. (He disappears.)

///

CASTIEL: First Sam and Dean, and now this. I'm doing my best in impossible circumstances. My friends, they abandon me, plot against me. It's difficult to understand.

BALTHAZAR: Well you've - you've always got little old me.

(Castiel disappears. He reappears behind Balthazar and stabs him with an angel blade. Balthazar groans.)

CASTIEL: Yes, I'll always have you.

BALTHAZAR: Cas...

(As Balthazar dies, his light fills the building.)

Is Cas doing his best in impossible circumstances. Yes...? Is he succumbing to the heroic allure of "I, and I alone can fix this?" Yup. Is he falling pray to martyr-syndrome? "It doesn't matter the risk / it doesn't matter if I die / if I explode?" Also, yup. Is he horribly stabbing his friend who betrayed him because he cares about him? Yes. Cas is paranoid, desperate, mad king, backed into a corner.

Here's the thing to grapple with: he was never asking for support from anyone. He was asking for allegiance.

///

In summary, Cas knew the other angels would balk at it--that's why he didn't share the plan. He coulda split the power among several angels, in fact, but he didn't want to.

Perhaps on a very subconscious level, he wanted to punish his family, even though he loves them. (Hello, pizza man and the babysitter scene.) He was ashamed of his angelic brothers; perhaps, he was still wounded by Raphael's killing of him when Cas stayed behind to defend Chuck. He killed Raphael the same way he himself was killed. That felt personal.

CASTIEL I was no fool. I knew who Crowley was and what he did. But I was smarter than him, stronger. I see now that I was prideful. And in all likelihood, I was a fool.

#rambles #cas thoughts #season 6 #balthazar #raphael #cas #castiel #this was so fun #putting the emphasis less on the humans was eye-opening

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spiritualeden · 8 months ago

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ofholyfire · 2 years ago

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Quis ut Deus

Archangel. General. Sword of God.

Eternal thorn in The Deceiver's side.

Face Claim: Cody Fern

Nature: Archangel. Immortal.

Alias: "Michael Aurelian”

Height: 6’1

Age: Unknown

DOB: Unknown

Occupation: Part-time therapist who does a ridiculous amount of traveling.

::Unus:: Personality

"He has not laughed since the creation of Hellfire." - Gabriel

Michael is the serious type, direct, blunt, and as the trusted weapon of God, ruthless when necessary. As general of the angelic armies of Heaven, he carries himself with dignity and wastes no words when he speaks. If he's told you once, he's told you twice and will not repeat himself. Though stern, he is not without a sense of humor. The privilege of witnessing such is reserved for those he is intimately and long-acquainted with.

He is equipped to carry out God's command with a brutality and precision befitting his station, however, he also possesses equal amounts of compassion and mercy for those who call upon him in need. The purifying flames of his sword and fire in his gaze to dispatch agents of sin are the same that forever protect the innocent and the righteous. Legions of demons flee in fear while the latter are comforted by the warmth of God reflected in Michael's presence. Angels are terrifying things, indeed. To further ease the fearsome awe of his being, he presents himself to humans with clear, bright eyes, a gentle smile, and a mane of soft, short curls upon his head.

(Michael, as seen by mortals)

To immortal, demonic, and angelic beings, he makes no attempt to hide his celestial identity in neither name nor form. "Michael" is he, tall, strong-jawed, and commanding. His eyes gleam with the power of God's will. His strong hands act with wisdom. His hair rests upon his shoulders, shimmering with the warm golds of vengeance.

He is beautiful, he is fearless, and he is ferocious.

(Michael, as seen by immortals, angels, demons, and supernatural beings)

::Duo:: Past

"Then war broke out in Heaven." - Revelation 12:7

It is as written in the pages of the Holy Book. Michael served as the Chief of Archangels for as long as time could remember. And at his creation, he was good and made in the goodness of the Lord. He laughed, sang in joyous praise of the Creator, and dutifully served Him in Heaven beside Archangels Gabriel, Raphael, and the most beautiful Lucifel. All who looked upon The Morning Star loved him, and none loved him more than Michael. For he, whose name meant "Who is like God," was tender toward Lucifel and aspired to his strength, devotion, intelligence, and beauty.

That is, until the poisoning of one-third of the angels which led to war.

Michael became aware of Lucifel's ambition and spoke out against him, warning him of his lofty goals. But what is fated is a thing unchangeable. The pain of Lucifel's betrayal turned reverence into contempt. The angelic bonds of creation were torn asunder and Michael bitterly swore to be his enemy.

Hosts of angels met hosts of the deceived upon the battlefield.

And it was Michael who struck Lucifel down, and God cast him out of Heaven.

Some say that that instance was the first and only time that Michael wept for a vanquished foe.

::Tres:: Present

“At that time shall arise Michael, the great prince who has charge of your people." - Daniel 12:1

As the world rapidly descends into darkness at Satan's hands, God allowed Michael out of Heaven to intervene and oversee the well-being of humans. The word of God being constantly and wrongly interpreted for unjust acts in His name is increasingly worrying as well. He is tasked with guiding humanity back onto the righteous path. While not permitted to directly confront Satan, Michael often, and with great pleasure, foils his ill-intended schemes for the souls of humanity at every opportunity. He currently integrates himself into human society by working as a therapist, inviting people to bring their demons to him. This work also provides a source to gather intel on the locations and activities of Satan and his demonic agents so that he can dispatch them accordingly. As an archangel, Michael is charged with many responsibilities: overseeing exorcisms, healing, commanding armies, calls for protection, and so forth, to name a few. He possesses the power to be many places at once, but he can't be everywhere. To fill the gaps in his presence, he calls upon lesser angels under his command to complete his work despite his desire to do it all himself. A flaw of his, perhaps, but he readily assumes the work of undoing Lucifer's influence and annoying The Fallen One.

One has to wonder if Michael does so to make up for the shame and embarrassment of ever revering the one who betrayed him, The Father, and all of Heaven.

::Mea Culpa et Miscellanea::

Initially a genderless being, Michael chooses the male form for himself. He aims to stay ahead of social trends for better understanding of this generation of people. In doing so, it would be no surprise to see him dressed in anything from an Armani suit to a well-tailored blouse and flowing pant. And he looks amazing in either. As an agent of Heaven, one might expect him to be typically clad in only white or bright colors. He defies such ideas with an abyss of rich, dark colors in his closet. If asked why he possesses a brooding aesthetic, he easily has a different reason for each time he is questioned. Be those reasons true or not, who's to say? It would not be too far-fetched to think that in some way, he is making a direct mockery of Satan himself.

Though a champion of all the righteous, he has a special affinity for protecting children.

Due to a disconnect with his human vessel, he forgets to eat and drink as a normal human would. Sometimes he forces himself to indulge in common human activities as a reminder to act as mortals do so that he fits in. When he does remember that sustenance is a thing, his go-to is bread and wine for what they traditionally represent. As such, he is no stranger to fine Italian restaurants.

Animals, good.

He has a violent temper. This tends to only manifest in the heat of battle. What makes him so dangerous is the amount of rationale he maintains while driven by the wrath of God. He will not stop until all the enemies have fallen.

In his devotion to God, he must be extremely mindful that the vengeance he seeks is for the Lord and not just himself 'lest he be next to fall or fall out of His favor.

#introduction #Archangel Michael #about

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elysiumxii · 2 years ago

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Uriel knew, even as Michael said it, that the act of blinding was not purely through devotion. He would not want to cast aspersions on his actions by stating it was not at all for that reason, because Michael himself may have believed it was. What Uriel saw, however, was a man not knowing how to deal with his own guilt and internalised need to punish. A man who never strayed even a step from the path of righteousness, now spiralling with his first digression. Everyone knew that Gabriel had a flair for toying with the line, Uriel himself knows of his own, hidden secrets - it was only possibly Raphael that could empathise with feeling this way. With that honey sweet smile of his the youngest archangel doesn't believe there is a single thing he ever does untoward. Only unlike Michael, Raphael wasn't militant with it.

"I do feel remorse for you, Michael" he sighs softly, once the older angel had fallen quiet, having listened to him intently. Was remorse really the word? No, because he was not gone, but Michael couldn't see himself as anything but changed entirely.

"I know of the cherub's touch" he hums, hand lifting again to gently slip a little of that lovely blonde hair back over Michael's shoulder as he observes his big brother. So naïve and unaware of so many things, despite being older. "I bet it knocked you back a little" there is almost a little mirth in his voice, imagining his stoic commander receiving something as tactile and intense as a cherub's touch. Were it not for the circumstances, it would almost be comedic to imagine.

"It is true, they struggle to control it, it is a part of their being, to emanate that feeling, but I also know it grows more intense when they themselves feel a certain way" he says softly, wishing Michael could see him, believe what he was saying by seeing his face. Whatever sensation the two had shared through that touch, it had not been one sided. Did that excuse Michael's actions? No, of course not. The young cherub may not have even known he was doing it... but it helped give a little more context. The expression Michael had seen as an outcome of his actions, however, that also said volumes. How far had Michael taken it?

"What action did you do to Cherry?" He asks, using the blunt, fact finding questions he knows a part of the very direct older angel would prefer. He didn't like to beat around the bush. The outcome of this 'trial' would come down to this, the severity of the assault.

Still, a strange small part of him enjoyed hearing Michael, the ever stoic, ever self controlled commander, find someone beautiful. Such unlikely a candidate too!

The mighty archangel did not flinch or withdraw at the light touch, for it may very well bethe final moments with his brother. He is docile and outwardly, eerily at peace. A large part of him feels embarrassed to be seen as he is, but his embarassment means nothing compared to the responsibility he shoulders for what he's done.

"Do not feel remorse for me, Uriel," he says, dropping the other's title to remove some of the formality and distance from his tone. As hard as he is in demeanor and personality, the soft spot for Uriel within remains, always. "God sacrified His holy son for the world. This is nothing. If I cannot sacrifice my vision in devotion, then I am not worthy to serve Him," he professes easily. In this, he believes he is right. The quiet that follows is one of thoughtful hesitance; a confession unbefitting of a commander rests upon his tongue and Michael quietly struggles to say it aloud. He swallows before he speaks, and when he finally does so, it is with a slight incline of his head toward Uriel's voice.

"...Do not think this act as noble or foolish of me; there is a selfishness in it, too. I am too ashamed to look upon Father's face, and yours, and Gabriel's, and Raphael's at my moment of judgement. For all my strength, I cannot bear the disappointment in them for my failure as your commander, leader, and eldest brother. I cannot remove from my eyes the fear I saw on the cherub's face when I became aware of myself again. All these things are a black spot of sin on my back that has seeped to the core of myself. Even after burning my mortal body, I am not rid of it. I am not clean. Do not waste pity or sympathy on me but rather, find it in your heart to forgive me one day."

Leaning forward a bit, he places a hand over his heart and gives a slight bow of his head. Something feels as if it is creeping up his chest and spreading in his lungs. It is an aching warmth that climbs and climbs and keeps climbing until it tumbles from both of his eyes and down his cheek in a thin lines of silver. Archangel Michael does not cry and has not since the casting out of his brother, Lucifer.

As he rights himself, blank and scarred eyes focus on nothing, but his hand hesitantly rests atop Uriel's to reassure the younger. It is warm, soft, and comforting like fresh, sun-kissed earth. Uriel wants his story, so he will tell it despite its bitterness. He sighs quietly, and speaks in a soft, even tone.

"He was eager to help me, so he invited me to his home. Injuries were minor, but the hopeful look in his eye persuaded me to let him help me anyway. He gave me new clothing and washed my wounds. Seeing that I was nearly healed beneath the blood... he absently touched my neck and it made me shudder. ...As if something warm and comforting was poured all over me... into me. He hoped that I didn't hurt anymore... even though I didn't tell him I was never in pain." His brows furrow a bit, recalling the sensation both bitterly and vividly.

"I tried to dismiss that touch, but I suddenly noticed how much more beautiful he looked. It no longer felt familial..." Michael pauses then, head tilting a little more in discomfort. He doesn't wish to go into graphic detail about his thoughts at the time, nor how much worse they'd soon become, if it isn't necessary. "He apologized and said that he couldn't turn it off, but I deemed there was no harm done even though my head was swimming."

He has to stop there, needing to pause and hoping that Uriel would understand that the retelling was a little taxing. It is as if he is telling someone else's story instead of his own, and he finds no ease in recounting the smaller details.

#replies;uriel #okajibana

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obeymedreamsandimagines · 4 years ago

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From White to Grey to Black (Luke’s Conflict)

This is part of a series that will be about three chapters long. I realized that there isn't nearly enough content in the Demon Simeon AU, and wanted to add to that. Warning: This series will contain both slight and heavy spoilers for lessons 51, 52, 53 and 55. If you don't want any spoilers, I highly suggest that you don't read any further. Thank you.

TW: Religious Trauma

The relationship with Simeon will mostly be in part 3, and the reader is gender neutral. Luke has a parental/sibling relationship with the reader.

Work Text:

For as long as Luke could remember, he had always hated demons, and just couldn’t understand them. Demons were the complete opposite of angels, in every way he could possibly think of. The young angel had a very… traditional mindset, and he never thought it would change. That is, until he met Y/N, the second human exchange student. Despite having special powers of their own, their charm somehow managed to attract demons, angels and humans alike. Even he was drawn to them. Y/N was like the parental figure he had never had, who taught him to slowly accept that things weren’t exactly like Michael had taught him. Along with their guidance and Simeon’s encouragement, he finally decided to give the demon brothers a fairer chance, despite being raised to hate them. Yet at the same time, he was conflicted. Since the war, things were much stricter in the Celestial Realm now. Younger angels like him were encouraged to train to guard and protect the Celestial Realm, despite it being peaceful up there. Visits to the human world now required direct permission from Raphael, who wasn’t exactly known for his gentleness. Michael seemed unhappy, despite the warm smiles he gave Luke whenever the small angel offered a new pastry of some kind. Even Simeon had been demoted, from a high ranking Seraph to a low ranking Archangel.

Micheal never told him why, but Luke guessed it was because of Simeon’s fondness for demons. Knowing the older angel well, Luke could easily get an idea of why. Michael himself still had a soft spot for those demon brothers, each and every one… Though he really tried not to, Luke was questioning his mentor. What was the point in caring for them, even now? Their days of being angels were long gone, and they never seemed to give Michael a second thought. Casting them out didn’t sound like the kind and forgiving Michael that he knew… “No… I shouldn’t be thinking like this. Michael is never wrong! I shouldn’t doubt him.” Luke whispered to himself, hugging his knees. For his ten thousand years of life, Luke had been taught to praise and honor Michael, and devote himself to serving the Celestial Realm. He had been taught how evil demons were, how destructive they were, and the consequences that had occurred when an angel and a human fell in love. The Celestial War was the fault of angels who had turned their back on their heavenly father. Their blatant disregard for the rules got them cast out, and they were to blame.

Stories of demons eating innocent angels and hunting down their father’s precious creations were told to him each day. With such things being taught to him, it was inevitable that he would hate demons. The only angel who had ever taught him differently was Simeon. Unlike most angels, Simeon wasn’t traditional. When it came to demons, he was so sugar sweet that it made Luke want to gag. Simeon told him happy stories of his time together with those seven demons, when they were angels. The warmth in his eyes and soft smile on his face made Luke secretly curious about them, but he would never admit to that. “What if they tempt me into sin and try to eat me?!” Luke had fussed one day as Simeon sat next to him. The two were leaning against Simeon’s favourite tree, where he and Lucifer used to nap together. Simeon had only chuckled with a calm smile. “Don’t worry, Luke. Such a small angel like you wouldn’t satisfy their appetite. “Hey!” Luke snapped, a blush on his cheeks. “Don’t say that, Simeon!” Sweet laughter echoed in Luke’s ears. “I’m just joking, Luke. I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

“You shouldn’t be so sweet towards demons, Simeon, or you’ll become one of them! I don’t want you to get corrupted!” Luke’s protests seemed to be ignored as Simeon smiled again, though it was much smaller. “Don’t worry about such things. I’m happy to be an angel.” It almost sounded like Simeon was trying to convince himself, but Luke knew better than to protest any further. Now, Luke was starting to regret that. Lately, Simeon wasn’t acting like himself. The small angel’s concern didn’t go unnoticed. “Luke, is everything alright?” A calm voice snapped Luke back to reality. “I’m worried about Simeon,” Luke confessed as he looked up at Barbatos. “He’s been spending a lot of time in his room, just staring off into space. Since we went to look for that fairy ring, he hasn’t been smiling anymore. Even Y/N can’t figure out what’s wrong with him…” Barbatos placed a gentle hand on Luke’s shoulder as he continued to rant. “He doesn’t even want to see Michael! I’m worried that he’s gotten corrupted! What will I do if he becomes a… a demon?” Luke shivered at the thought, not meeting Barbatos’ eyes. “It’s very sweet that you’re worried about him, Luke. Why don’t you bake something to cheer him up?” It was just the two of them in the Angel’s Halo today; without Simeon or any of their regular customers around, it was much quieter. “Okay!” Luke chirped excitedly, too distracted to notice that Barbatos had said nothing to ease his worries.

#obey me #demonsimeon #luke obey me #simeon obey me #simeon x reader #barbatos obey me #obey me spoilers #demon brothers #gender neutral reader #fallen angel simeon #obeymeau #religion trauma

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hats-off-to-hermes · 2 years ago

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DEVOTIONAL ACTS - ARCHANGEL GABRIEL

Hey there friends! It's time for a post all about Gabriel. Read the others here: Archangel Michael, Archangel Uriel, Archangel Haniel, Archangel Jophiel, Archangel Zadkiel

Archangel Gabriel is the messenger of God and is generally noted as the messenger archangel. His name means "God is my strength". He helps people express themselves, speak the truth, communicate, and nurture and is associated with the throat energy center.

📜 If you need help accepting a message or lesson, you can rely on Gabriel

📜 If you're expecting to hear news, you can pray to Gabriel to deliver it safely and swiftly (you can also ask Raphael for this too)

📜 If you work in telecommunications or communications, Gabriel is a patron archangel of those areas! You can seek his guidance and presence during work for the best outcomes, healthy relations, and good work

📜 If you participate in Christian/Catholic prayers, you can pray the Angelus in dedication to Gabriel

📜 He embodies a lot of tarot energy, especially from The Fool, Judgement and The Lovers. Building devotional acts around these energies can be a great devotional act

📜 Meditating and praying to him so that you can speak your truth and develop boundaries through your verbal work

📜 If you need help understanding a message, you can ask for his guidance

📜 When you need to write something you find difficult to write, ask for Gabriel's guidance to communicate the best you can

📜 If you're a writer, Gabriel can assist in granting divine inspiration

📜 Even as a creative, you can ask for his assistance

📜 He can help small or young children with learning communication

📜 If you would like to learn a language or are learning a language, Gabriel is an angel to help with that

📜 His communications skills can enable us to tap into intuition and receive messages from beings, spirits, deities, god, source, the universe etc

📜 Journalling is one of the best methods to connect with Gabriel

📜 Light a candle for Archangel Gabriel

📜 Pray a novena to Gabriel

Do you have any more suggestions for this awesome angel? Let me know!

#qui.angels #qui.devotion #archangel devotional acts #archangel devotions #archangels #angels #angelic #angel magic #archangel gabriel

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cas-huggybear · 4 years ago

Text

God’s most beloved

A/N: this is just a random story I wrote. It’s about Lucier and his fall, his time in the cage and his relationship with his family. And why he tortured Sam Winchester.

He was God’s favorite.

He loved him and siblings deeply.

It hadn't been his fault. The mark, his father had given him, it poisoned his mind.

God had acted irresponsible and foolish, putting such a burden on his most beloved child. He should have known that an object of such power would be too much, even for an archangel.

Then God created men.

Of course Lucifer became jealous of mankind because he loved his father more than anything, and he believed so did his father.

But he was wrong.

God showed more concern fore those creatures than him.

He could not comprehend how such weak and foolish beings even deserved to exist.

So he wanted to set humanity free; to show them that there is more than blind obedience and that free will exists. He would free their minds of the illusion his father created, show them how wrong their beloved God was.

So he seduced her, Eve, the woman. Not because she was weaker than Adam, it had been the contrary. He found more pride in seducing the stronger one, to humiliate his father even more.

He laughed when he saw Adam eating the apple out of Eve's hand, greedily biting and chewing, the sweet juices dripping down his chin.

And he laughed when he twisted Lilith's human soul, creating the first of the demons.

But then his family turned against him, coldly banishing him from heaven.

And he should have known the angel's blind devotion to their father wasn't something to be quickly overruled.

But the devotion in those who followed him burned hot and the war that came was terrible.

Heaven was shattered, and the descendants of Adam and Eve were terrified, cowering on earth below every time a deafening rumble from above rang in their fragile ears.

When he remembers the war, which divided heaven forever, all he can see is his brothers and sisters.

Angels, slain. Their wings ripped out on the base, terrible, gaping holes where beautiful, divine feathers should be.

Angels, broken and battered.

And he knew, what burns hot, fades even faster. By the time it wasn't utter love and admiration he saw in their eyes. Instead, he saw doubt and grief, slowly turning to anger and hatred. Towards him.

And in his terrible wrath he smote those who doubted him, smote his own people.

After that there were whispers in his own garrison. Whispers, that he had become insane, driven to madness by having to kill his own siblings.

And if he would have been honest to himself, he secretly knew those voices were right. But he was known for his pride and so he refused to believe so.

Perhaps he was insane, but for a different reason. The Mark. The Mark to seal away his father's sister, the Mark that held too much power for him to bear. He had to lose it. And he found a way. The foolish human Cain, tricked and deceived by the Morningstar now bore the Mark, making it widely known. Making him the first human to commit the most terrible crime: murder. He slaughtered his own brother Abel with the jawbone of a mere cow. Lucifer laughed as he saw the despair in father's eyes as it happened.

But he was afraid, afraid because he knew there was still no going back now.

Then it happened.

His father gave the orders. Lucifer followed out of pride, his beloved brother Michael followed as always out of obedience.

There was a time when he secretly used to be jealous of his brother. What a perfect soldier he was. He knew he could never be like him, and the doubt wormed its way up to his heart. But father's strong, soothing hand on his shoulder and gentle words of assurance had simply made the doubt vanish.

The first thing the oldest archangel had noticed while entering the imposing throne room, was Michael's place, – at father's right. The place where he used to stand, assisting father, deliberating with him.

Tall, proud and in golden armor, sword in his mighty hand, Michael did not look at Lucifer when he entered. His piercing blue gaze was fixated right above his brother's head, not acknowledging him. Lucifer couldn't help but grin at his brother's stubbornness.

A choir of whispers surrounded him, hundreds of angel's bearing witness in the throne room.

There was a time those whispers were full of worship and adoration – adoration for him, the Morningstar. But instead of soft, quiet whispers, words of fondness and devotion, those whispers were now cruel and harsh, piercing like the ice-cold wind of earth below.

Insane... evil... traitor... unholy... MONSTER!

He growled and turned around, facing the brutal voices. How could they. They were his family. How dared they insult him that way. After all he was the first and most powerful archangel, Lucifer Morningstar, the bringer of dawn and (he used to be) God's most beloved.

And who were they? Low, meaningless angels, talking about him like he was insane, when in truth they were the blind, little sheep.

He smiled. Pathetic, he thought, as he looked into their faces, expressions full of terror. He snapped his fingers, a dozen angels disintegrating. The unharmed angels cried out in horror, cowering under his fiery blue stare and he delighted in their fear.

“LUCIFER!”

There he was. His brother finally looked him in the eye. Lucifer grinned at him too.

“You will pay for this.”, Michael's voice sounded, threateningly low, but his older brother was not impressed.

They met in the middle of the white throne room, surrounded by angels and marble-pillars.

It happened fast. Michael raised his sword. The proud, strong archangel Michael, but most of all his dear brother, was fighting him.

They had fought before, before all of it happened. They had fought about every mild inconvenience, driving father and his siblings mad. But back then, there was always some sort of playfulness, even cheer in their eyes. And if he hurt Michael in a serious manner, or the other way around, the brothers would always apologize, hug and laugh it off, not seeing the content smile on their father's face afterwards.

But not now.

Now, it was Michael's intent to end him. His hits showed no mercy, relentlessly battling him, channeling all his strength. His mighty sword coming down on his and the look on his face, grim and cold, showing no emotion.

Lucifer knew his brothers and sisters were watching them, they cried out in horror every time one of them was hit.

The two beautiful brothers were fighting hard and relentlessly, divine swords crashing together in loud, metallic rings.

But Lucifer knew he was still a better fighter, more powerful. He was the first archangel, angel, older than his brother and he would win.

Or so he thought. He had underestimated his brother's grim determination, underestimated Michael's will to turn against him.

At first he thought there was a chance of talking to his stubborn brother, but every time he attempted to speak, his brother's eyes would glow, bright and blue, and his celestial energy would force Lucifer back.

Still the Morningstar believed he would win that terrible battle.

And Lucifer was furious. How could his brother do that to him? How could father do this to him? He loved them, he loved all of his family.

They were both bleeding now, grace shining bright through their bodies.

Father's voice rumbled through heaven's throne room, commanding them to halt in their action. They both stopped, Michael out of obedience, Lucifer out of old habit.

Father's accusations numbed him but at the same time...

There it was.

The flame inside of him, burning bright and red through his eyes and Michael's look of utter disturbance when he saw his brother's blue eyes turn red for the first time fueled his unstoppable rage even more.

With proud strides the Morningstar made his way over to father's throne.

The angels screamed as they saw him raise his sword at father, and then he screamed when Michael roughly yanked him backwards.

By his wings.

The most sensitive and most holy part of an angel's body. The most intimate. He could feel feathers ripping out, blood spilling, the small bones crushed under Michael's merciless grip.

With a roar he turned around with the intention of causing Michael as much pain as he experienced.

But then it happened. For a split second he could see Michael's facade crumble when he heard father's command. He could see the real Michael, not the cold soldier but his little brother, staring up at him in dread. Even for Michael father's choice of punishment sounded cruel.

Lucifer stared at his brother, awaiting his reaction.

A choir of terrified angel voices followed them again and when he saw the clouds dividing, the distant green of earth so contrary to the white marble of the throne room, he knew it was the end.

Michael's expression shifted back to grim and determined.

For the last time Lucifer allowed himself to look at his brothers.

Gabriel. Tears were streaming down his little brothers face, arms around a little fledgling who had buried his face in Gabriel's side.

Raphael stared at him without emotion, looking at him as if watching the clouds in heaven.

But Lucifer couldn't look at father. Not after this. He despised him.

And in this moment he swore his revenge would be terrible.

With gleaming red eyes he turned his face to look at Michael. The cold breeze from the opening rustled his and Michael's feathers.

He grinned at his brother, his face a mocking grimace.

“What are you waiting for, brother?”, he spat.

With another violent pull Michael yanked him forward once again and he could hear his bones break. The pain emerging from his wing was almost unbearable.

Lucifer wanted to stop his brother from dragging him, tried hitting him with his bare hands, kicking him, clawing at him, anything to protect his wings, but his hands did not affect Michael and he knew, it was father who protected his brother against his attacks.

He stumbled after his little brother, cursing him, cursing father and the entirety of heaven.

When his other wing broke, the angels started crying but he simply laughed.

“You are a monster, Lucifer.”, his brother's cold voice hurting him more than his grip on his wings.

With those words Michael let his white, bloodstained wings go and violently kicked him, hard, in the back, right between his destroyed wings.

Then he fell, accompanied by his sibling's cries.

What he mostly remembers from the fall is pain and the smell of his burning wings. Once he reached a certain speed, he was nothing but a ball of fire.

His broken wings were flapping useless above him, burning.

He tried to do anything to slow himself, tried to lift his once strong wings, but the broken bones did not allow him to.

It is said the scream that erupted from Lucifer's throat that moment shook not only heaven, but hell and earth as well.

And mankind was terrified once they caught sight of the archangel, falling in a fiery mess, and heard his terrible cry.

The moment he collided with earth's rough surface, he wished he had lost consciousness.

Instead, he hit the surface with a shattering thud.

Only then, everything went black.

When he woke up again, he found himself behind strong, warded metal bars., His father's print clear on them.

He knew father had meant to bind him, to not release him upon the earth, threatening his oh so beloved creation.

The millennia he spent imprisoned in the cage had their fair share on him. Healing was hard, all alone in the darkness with no help.

His wings...

His beautiful wings were destroyed. The once alabaster white feathers, with sprinkles of pure gold at the feather's ends were now black and stunted – burned.

And he wept for them, wept alone in the darkness of the sickening cage, wept for his despair and repudiation.

Once he used to laugh at his father's poor creativity, locking him up just like he did to his sister.

Once he used to laugh at the screams of the doomed souls, suffering.

After a while he stopped. He became... considerate, quiet.

Over hundreds of years he took the time of the solitude to heal himself.

And finally his wings were restored to their former glory, as well as the rest of his body.

But not his mind. It was broken and no grace, no divine power could repair it. There was nothing but a storm of dark clouds, full of hatred, disdain and rage.

So he was left with himself. Thinking, planning, listening.

And how he learned to loathe his father and all his creation.

The once beautiful archangel Lucifer Morningstar, God's most beloved child, was now the Devil.

Twisted, sick and evil, he waited.

A whisper. Promises from Azazel, one of his princes. Promises for him. He hoped Azazel wouldn't fail – otherwise not even the bars of the damned cage would save the demon from his wrath.

Then, he felt a low rumble, vibrating through the cage.

Then another. And another.

He could sense her coming. His first creation. Lilith. After all she was bound to him.

Her words were the sweetest music in his ears.

Music, of the 66 seals being broken, music of heaven's armies failing.

And finally he laughed again and all of hell heard him and cheered.

Lucifer would walk the earth and be their salvation.

With the last seal breaking, the fire in him burned again, after a long time.

He was free again.

Finally he was going to get his revenge.

And it would be so sweet.

He smiled. He would destroy the one thing that brought him his doom – humanity.

And he would find such pleasure in destroying his father’s most beloved creation.

Lucifer would destroy mankind the same way his father had destroyed him.

He was surprised at how easy it was to possess his first vessel. How easily manipulated humans still were.

Thousands of years after their creation and they were just as weak and pathetic as the day they first opened their eyes.

The suffering they would endure once he had raised hell would be terrible, and he hoped that father, wherever he was, would see the mistake he made.

He knew his brother's garrison was after him, but he had other, more important concerns.

For example convincing Sam Winchester to be his vessel – it was his destiny after all. The same way it was Sam's idiotic brother's destiny to be Michael's vessel.

But the brothers were... stronger and more resistant than usual, their brotherly love painfully reminding him of what he and Michael once used to have.

He did not worry though, they were just humans after all and he was, well, the Devil.

Then, the one thing he always tried to avoid happened.

His little brother, Gabriel got in his way, and he couldn't understand why he would care for those pagans. Lesser beings, not half as worth as his little brother himself, far beneath him.

So he left his little Gabriel the choice – him or Michael, to evaluate whether he was worthy of being a part of his new kingdom.

And oh how he wished his little brother would have picked him, how his foolish little brother would see that he was the right choice.

But Gabriel was blind and so he had to end him.

He simply couldn't show any more weakness. Now it was about his main goal, and to reach it. He would turn against his family for it, like they once turned on him. He had tried but his brother had left him no choice.

And so he had turned around, piercing his brother's own blade right through his heart, watching the life leave his eyes, shining bright and blue through them.

He cried and wept for his little brother but it had to be. There was no way he could allow any form of resistance in his kingdom.

The world would be his, only his.

But of course his other brother couldn’t let that happen.

Lucifer still loved Michael. Even now, after what Michael had done to him. Even after his last words to him had stung terribly.

So he tried talking to him, get him to understand that he wasn’t evil. (Just) simply misunderstood.

But his stupid, prideful, stubborn brother wouldn’t listen to him. He was just as blind as Gabriel was.

So they had to fight and he knew he would win. He was the Morningstar after all.

And his kingdom would rise.

But then, this miserable human and his imbecile brother damaged his plans.

When Sam Winchester accepted to be his vessel, he knew he should have locked him far away in his mind before, but it was so much fun watching the younger Winchester suffer.

Watching it tear him apart that he wasn’t strong enough to overpower him, to watch innocent people die at his own hands.

And how he enjoyed beating up the pitiful other one, Dean, making him suffer at his Sammy’s hand.

But he underestimated them, and he cursed himself for it.

His stupid vessel took control, and it grabbed Michael, dragging both of them with him.

And then he was there again.

The one place he wished to never be again, the one place he feared.

He had wished to never having to look at the iron bars, how they seemingly got closer with every breath he took.

But this time he wasn’t alone.

And even if he couldn’t get his revenge on father, he knew ways nobody else knew of, to make the person suffer who brought him back to the hell hole.

A smile crept up his face.

He would break Sam Winchester.

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bylagunabay · 3 years ago

Text

In Honor of St. Michael, St. Gabriel, and St. Raphael

LITANY TO ST. MICHAEL, ST. GABRIEL & ST. RAPHAEL

(3-minute prayer)

Lord, have mercy on us!

Christ, have mercy on us!

Lord, have mercy on us! Christ, hear us!

Christ, graciously hear us!

God, the Father of Heaven, Creator of every spirit,

have mercy on us!

God, the Son, Redeemer of the world, on whom the angels desire to gaze,

have mercy on us!

God, the Holy Spirit, felicity of the blessed spirits,

have mercy on us!

Holy Trinity, one God, glory of the holy angels,

have mercy on us!

Holy Mary, Queen of the heavenly spirits,

pray for us!

St Michael, prince of the celestial host,

pray for us!

Chief of the angels of peace,

pray for us!

Most strong in combat,

pray for us!

Conqueror of the ancient serpent,

pray for us!

Defender at all times of the people of God,

pray for us!

Who did expel Lucifer and his confederates from Heaven,

pray for us!

Who receives souls at their departure, and conducts them to Paradise,

pray for us!

Solace of the faithful,

pray for us!

Protector of those who are devout to you,

pray for us!

St Gabriel, who revealed to Daniel divine secrets,

pray for us!

Who declared the birth and ministry of St John the Baptist,

pray for us!

Who announced the Incarnation of the Word,

pray for us!

Guardian of the Holy Virgin,

pray for us!

Attendant of the infancy of the Saviour,

pray for us!

Who consoled Christ in his last agony,

pray for us!

Faithful minister of Christ,

pray for us!

St Raphael, angel of health,

pray for us!

St Raphael, one of the seven spirits who stand before the Throne,

pray for us!

Faithful conductor of Tobias,

pray for us!

Who did compel the devil to flee,

pray for us!

Offerer of our prayer before the Lord,

pray for us!

Curer of blindness,

pray for us!

Helper in tribulation,

pray for us!

Consoler in necessities,

pray for us!

Making joyful your devoted clients,

pray for us!

Holy Michael, Gabriel and Raphael,

pray for us!

Christ Jesus, beatitude of the angels,

spare us!

Christ Jesus, glory of the heavenly spirits,

hear us!

Christ Jesus, splendor of the celestial armies,

have mercy on us!

TO ST. MICHAEL:

O God, who did render blessed Michael, your archangel,

victorious over the proud Lucifer and the wicked spirits,

we beseech you that combating under the Cross,

and ever adopting his maxim ‘Who is like God?’

we may be victorious over all our enemies,

and delivered from all impediments;

regulate our lives according to your will and commandments.

Through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Amen.

TO ST. GABRIEL:

O God, the lover of the salvation of mankind,

who did commission blessed Gabriel,

assisting before Your throne,

to announce to the ever-glorious Virgin,

the mystery of Your blessed Son’s becoming man,

we beseech You,

that recurring to his intercession,

we may be helped in all our wants,

spiritual and temporal.

Through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Amen.

TO ST. RAPHAEL:

O God, who in your ineffable goodness

has rendered blessed Raphael the conductor of your faithful in their journeys,

we humbly implore You that we may be conducted by him in the way of salvation,

and experience His help in the maladies of our souls.

Through Jesus Christ, our Lord.

Amen.

ACT OF CONSECRATION

Oh most Noble Prince of the Angelic Hierarchies

valorous warrior of Almighty God,

and zealous lover of His glory,

terror of the rebellious angels,

and love and delight of all the just ones,

my beloved Archangel Saint Michael,

desiring to be numbered among your devoted servants,

I, (say your name)________________ today offer and consecrate myself to you,

and place myself, my family,

and all I possess under your most powerful protection.

I entreat you not to look at how little, I,

as your servant have to offer,

being only a wretched sinner,

but to gaze, rather,

with favorable eye at the heartfelt affection

with which this offering is made,

and remember that if from this day onward

I am under your patronage,

you must during all my life assist me,

and procure for me the pardon of my many grievous offenses, and sins,

the grace to love with all my heart my God,

my dear Saviour Jesus and my Sweet Mother Mary,

and obtain for me all the help necessary to arrive to my crown of glory.

Defend me always from my spiritual enemies,

particularly in the last moments of my life.

Come then oh Glorious Prince and succour me in my last struggle,

and with your powerful weapon

cast far from me into the infernal abysses that prevaricator and proud angel

that one day you prostrated in the celestial battle.

Saint Michael, defend us in our daily battle

so that we may not perish in the last Judgement.

#catholic #catholic church #traditional catholic #angels #archangels #st. michael #st. gabriel #st. raphael

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pequenoleon · 4 years ago

Text

“what’s in a name?” (Good Omens) on AO3

“what’s in a name,” the actor on stage sighs, “that which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” he frowns, though understands juliet’s plight exactly. names are more complicated than let on. or, crowley's journey of self-discovery from creation to after the apocalypse-that-wasn't.

they know what they’re supposed to be before they even know themself, before creation, a time before time, when god needed extra hands for her bidding to bring good to the universe. what was good? what was the universe? god did little to answer these questions. instead, god said, life started with the angels. but none of them knew why yet.

there was lucifer first, then michael, then raphael, and gabriel, the archangels of the void. the light from lucifer's wings, and god's guidance, was the first glowing star in their world. it was beautiful, they had overheard michael say once, but they weren't there to see it.

not all angels were created in a single snap of god's will. rather, they appeared together, moment by moment.

god was beautiful, they remember that. they were brought with the rest of the angels into her light, her warmth, and given purpose. none had no reason to disagree with her almighty.

"samael," she spoke to them, "rise."

they did, unfurled white wings. in that one moment of existence, samael knew that being an angel, being granted the power of creation to help with the universe, was the most important thing. each angel had their own unique gifts, she said, opportunities to give Earth and beyond.

they liked the beyond bit. samael wanted to go beyond Earth, make a difference there; even as curious as angels are, they was the first to ask why.

"because, samael, there's a greater plan at stake that you will play a role here, as all do."

they were the first to question their essence.

"but why am i samael," they asked. they were given this name afterall.

"because you are the blindness i cannot see, the venom that will be spit back at me."

it made no sense, and they decided not to press further.

samael moved, not yet having a physical form, and joined the others who rejoiced in a bigger family.

---

samael wanted to fit in. noting how different they were from the rest, they were eager and ready to serve. yet they moved independently with their tasks, opposed to waiting in line to be assigned. they liked the freedom. other angels scorned. michael thought samael only needed more responsibility to step into their role as an angel of the lord, to fall into line. what michael meant was to act as expected.

samael didn't get along with many angels. most other’s wings would tremble, outstretch, arching up in protection of themselves-- a barrier, a do not approach, a notice of being an outsider within your own flock. samael kept their distance then, eager with the new task of guarding the seventh heaven.

"oh, a promotion, you must be excited." an unfamiliar voice said.

samael hadn’t noticed the angel who approached them. a principality, clear wings and a holy crown rested upon them.

"i would rather be out there, among the stars, creating, or living amongst it."

"that's a beautiful thought. sometimes i feel the same way too...?”

"samael, and you?”

"aziraphale.”

"an honor."

they were the first angel to show true kindness, the odd way that energy poured off of aziraphale put them at ease. they chatted. aziraphale showed off the sword the almighty had given them, its fire caught the light of heaven and samael became obsessed with it.

fire, heat, the warmth of it.

aziraphale was the perfect angel, samael thought. poised to protect their creator's design, rolling with what they were given. they became friends.

---

the only other angel to give them the time of day (day was just invented, they quite liked both day and night) was lucifer, and his close knit group. lucifer, the morning star, demanded a new type of identity for himself, he wasn't just an angel, he was god's favorite, and rumored to be the most powerful.

samael wanted to be as respected as lucifer.

they often left their duties to join lucifer and watched the world. they didn't like guarding. michael yelled at them for it, but why were they guarding anyway? guarding what? who amongst the angels had the thought to do anything other than what they were told?

oh, the questions they had.

"do not question the plan, samael." michael said.

"thinking isn't right for an angel, you know better." gabriel said.

raphael was absent as always. but it was lucifer who praised their curiosity.

names are important, the meaning they bring. lucifer brings light through his wings' glow. samael thought of aziraphale's sword, but lucifer's glow was somehow still so cold.

the difference was as striking as the time that now passed by.

lucifer showed samael the power they held, the power other archangels tried to hide from them– creation, like the lord herself.

"you must listen to yourself, samael, follow your own path, and do as you must. create your own miracles."

samael, in all their strength, created a nebula. yellows, and blues, space dust swirling through the vast void, a giant canvas. lucifer said they had the right to name it, as it was theirs. carina, the name on the tip of their tongue. an explosion of stars, birth and death happening simultaneously... for the first time, they felt proud of a creation. the freedom it came with, this feeling was life.

compared to the warmth aziraphale would give, lucifer was cold, manipulating... but lucifer was more powerful than aziraphale, and through lucifer, samael could show god that they could do so much more.

that was their plan. they didn't need god's great plan, but other little plans along the way that would get the same place. questions helped them get there, so why were they bad?

---

samael had another interaction with god, rare for the time, as whispers ran through heaven everywhere. they were called upon by michael, summoned for lack of reporting to their duty.

"why do you cause trouble," michael spoke, "don't follow lucifer's ego."

samael didn't respond. what could they have said, that lucifer was the only interesting thing happening around each of the realms of heaven, that without the whole world there was nothing to guard or protect. their existence had been meaningless.

it had felt so long since samael had felt the grace of their god. she was angry, but the ripples of her love for her children was strong and yet not as strong as her own angels.

"what can you tell me about lucifer, samael?"

they bristled. sight blinded by light, they shielded away. "lucifer has the idea that we, the angels of heaven, should have a stronger hand in creation, to follow our own desires--”

"that is not what i asked of you.”

"your grace, you asked very little of me in the first place."

the light grew stronger, and samael felt terribly small, their wings wrapping around them for protection.

"i have plans for you. do not try to go against them." and that was meant to be the end, where samael corrected their ways and went back to the post of the seventh heaven. but samael only wanted answers, answers that no one would give them, and somehow that was wrong.

"what plan?"

there was a silence. the question was the last straw. the aggravation from the angels and her lord weighed as heavy as the weight of the universe on samael's shoulders. through the anger, even god spoke so softly. it still rattled through their being.

"the great plan, samael, the test to show where their true devotion lies in the world i give them."

"who?" they dared not say more, but the curiosity within them was not yet sated.

"my greatest creation. a test, samael, a test you best pass."

god went quiet, and samael knew that was the end of that. the world was the lord's greatest creation, and yet with the sky and the rivers, and the glorious beasts that roamed the grasses, she was not yet satisfied.

michael sent samael back to their post. they stayed, guarding, in displeasure.

then things did change. the humans. adam and eve, god had named them, were given the most beautiful place of creation to live in but under the one rule that neither two touch what she commanded was untouchable. a tree, a simple tree, samael thought it was laughable. the sixth day brought more than humans. it brought envy. lucifer hated them.

TO READ THE REST ON ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN, CLICK HERE.

#My writing #good omens #Anthony J. Crowley #inneffable husbands #because i gotta #kyle speaks #good omens fanfic

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ihatecoconut · 4 years ago

Text

Tell Me About Heaven

Also posted to AO3.

“As most humans know; in the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. What they don’t know is before the beginning, when God created me and it was mostly just the two of us- occasionally accompanied by one who was similar to Him and balanced Him out.”

“The Darkness, right? Amara?”

“Hush, Adam. Yes, it was Amara, but she had no name back then. Nobody did.”

It was one of the times when it was just Michael and his Father, the way Michael had found he preferred. There was no time, so it was impossible to say how long he had existed, although he knew he had existed for longer than he had been called Michael- he hadn’t been Michael for very long, but Father had said it was his name, and that was now how He addressed him. The Darkness, who had become Amara at some point the same way he had become Michael, was off doing whatever she did when she wasn’t with Michael and Father, and Michael would have said that was how she spent most of her time, but he had no concept of time or most or anything aside from utter devotion to his Father.

Regardless, it was some distant point before the creation of the universe and it was just Michael and Father staring off into the nothingness that they existed in when Father told him He was planning to create more like Michael- similar to him but different, in the same as Himself and The Darkness. He told Michael they would be his ‘siblings’ and he was to raise and care for them with the same devotion He had given Michael in his youth. Michael agreed to do so without hesitation, but at that point- and for most of his existence- he would have ripped out his own wings if Father had told him to, so it could be argued that this did not mean much in the grand scheme of things relating to consent.

Michael waited patiently for the fore-mentioned siblings to arrive, eager to fulfil the only task he had been given so far and eager to do something to earn his Father’s attention, yet before Father created them, He created somewhere for all of them, and Him, to live- Heaven, He called it, and He also told Michael to call it his home. After Heaven’s creation, Amara began to visit less and less, staying away from the two of them longer than she had before. Michael did not ask Father about her, and when she had been gone for long enough that Michael struggled to call up the memory of her form, God presented him with another one like him. A small angel He said was to be called Lucifer. An angel who was to be God’s left hand while Michael was His right.

Lucifer was beautiful, more beautiful than anything Michael had ever seen, and he was tiny, at first, but grew with the nurture of Michael’s grace and Lucifer’s own grace soon became even brighter. Being presented with Lucifer was the first time- and only time for most of his existence- that Michael considered he could love any being more than his Father.

“What was the other time? Times?”

“Here,” Michael replied, not as snippy as Adam expected at being interrupted, “with you.”

After Lucifer was old enough to run about Heaven alone, or with minimal supervision- when he didn’t need Michael’s attention all the time- God came once again and presented the two of them with another tiny angel- Raphael. She was also beautiful, but the memory of the energy it had taken to raise Lucifer was probably why she didn’t inspire the same consideration of loving someone more than Father. And as he raised her, Raphael listened to Michael in ways that Lucifer had not, she did not disobey even half as much and the few times that she did were at Lucifer’s persuasion. When Michael would reflect on it, many years later, he would acknowledge that she was the easiest to raise out of every angel that ever came into being. She became interested how her grace healed at a young age and the way it swirled into Michael or Lucifer’s when she was feeling particularly strong emotions. God told Michael, once in confidence, that she would become the healer of all angels. Michael did not ask how many angels there would be, no matter how much he desired to know. Lucifer did ask. God laughed.

Gabriel was given to them before Raphael had finished growing, and he adored Lucifer on sight despite the fact that Michael was the one who cared for him and taught him how to fly. If Michael had been familiar with emotions he might have recognised that he was unhappy and slightly jealous, but God had never taught him about feelings or even hinted at their existence, so he wasn’t aware of the cause behind the pressure in his chest or how to deal with it and he trained more vigorously with his sword to make Father pleased.

“Michael? Are you still there? What happened?”

“My apologies, your brother’s soul has been taken.”

“At least it isn’t kicking around here without a body.”

“They did not even look for you.” Michael told him, and he sounded more betrayed than Adam actually felt.

“Do you want to continue with your story?”

There was still no concept of time, but if there had been, Michael would have known that the four of them had several millennia to play and do as they wished. Very often, Father would come and give them a task or two to do among the four of them- mostly creating small clusters of gas that he referred to as stars- but even that was happy and gentle. They flew around Father’s new creation- the universe and weaved in and out of each other; Gabriel particularly enjoyed trying to knock into the three of them hard enough that they lost control of their wings briefly and plummeted.

God hadn’t yet decided that gravity would only be for certain things, and it was everywhere they went- a constant pull down that strengthened their wings as they pulled against it.

At night they returned to Heaven to curl up together and rest- it was one of the only things that Father insisted upon, Michael couldn’t fathom why since they had seemingly no reason to do so, but His will was obeyed, and Gabriel and Lucifer seemed to enjoy it anyway.

That was their life for the first few millennia of existence, and Michael grew to love his siblings in the exact way that Father had told him to- dwelling on that for the first time, was also the first time that he realised Amara had not once visited Heaven since it had been created, but she was Father’s sister, so surely they must love each other as he loved Gabriel, Lucifer and Raphael?

“You seem troubled, Michael, what is wrong?”

He looked up into his Father’s eyes. No matter how much they grew, Father was always taller than them, and he always had to look up to speak to him. With permission given, he asked his query about Amara, and God laughed softly in response,

“Sometimes,” He said, sitting next to Michael and laying a gentle hand on his shoulder, “it is good to spend time apart from your siblings to develop your own, personal interests. Amara and I have differing interests so we’re developing them apart from each other. Do you understand?”

Michael didn’t but he nodded anyway and privately thought that he would never want to be apart from any of his three siblings. Even if Gabriel and Raphael’s incessant curiosity could be too much sometimes, and Lucifer’s pranks were more annoying than they were funny sometimes, the three of them were all he had- aside from his Father- and they were always there.

“You’re quite good at foreshadowing.”

“It wasn’t something that I ever thought could happen, at the time.”

“I’m sorry.”

God deemed them ‘old enough’ out of the blue, and would not explain what He meant by that or what they were old enough for, but after that he demanded that they spend more time in Heaven than out of it. They did, of course and wandered around the wide-open spaces, adding trees and plants in certain places to make it happier and more homely. The office-like part of Heaven had not yet been created, since there was not yet anything for anyone to keep records of as there would be once the souls started coming in. Not that the four archangels had any idea that was going to happen.

Their Father vanished for long periods at a time as this was happening, and Lucifer was convinced that He was planning something- the other three agreed with him, but didn’t want to say anything because it encouraged Lucifer’s wild speculations and his speculations could get incredibly wild. It was funny though, and since being borderline confined to Heaven they had very little to laugh about. Michael hoped that their Father would finish what He was working on soon, but as God often told them that His work could not be rushed, he created some small, round things to amuse his siblings and the four of them took turns to see how far they could throw them.

Lucifer generally won.

It was during one of those games that God finally emerged from His work with two more angels in tow. He called one ‘Metatron,’ the other ‘Naomi’, and He said that they would be His personal assistants in all things to do with His creations. Michael found himself brave enough to ask why he was not good enough to be God’s personal assistant and his Father just smiled,

“Because, Michael, I have other plans for the four of you.”

The Archangels did not see Metatron often, as he was generally following their Father around and recording his plans for future creations, but they did sometimes see Naomi, and she would give them small updates on what was going to happen soon- which was more than their Father did. Michael like to pretend that she was sent by Him to do this, but the reality was that she didn’t really have much to do since she was only second to Metatron. Apparently, Metatron was given a title- Heaven’s Scribe- and he stayed with their Father all the time, and he wasn’t forced to rest at certain time intervals.

Naomi asked if he was jealous, but he wasn’t.

After Naomi and Metatron, God seemed to have decided that even more angels was a good idea, or maybe He had decided that a long time ago and only chose to act on it now, but He began to create more and more, which Naomi would bring to the archangels to look after. She was the one who told them that God’s new angels were different to the original six, and that she and Metatron were different to their original four.

“You are Archangels,” she had told him stiffly, handing over another giggling fledgling who was apparently called Bartholomew this time, “Metatron is The Scribe, I am his second, and these-“ she gestured at the children that were milling about the grass, “-are Seraphs.”

Every movement that Naomi made was arguably stiff, and she didn’t seem to enjoy talking like the other archangels. Sometimes Michael wished that he had been given a chance to raise her as well, maybe then she would be slightly more relaxed and happy around the fledglings, but her position allowed her to filter information down to him, so perhaps it wasn’t so bad.

“Seraphs.” He repeated after she was gone again, he had noticed the differences between the four of them and the new angels- they only had one set of wings, like Naomi, while he had three and Metatron had two. Not that Metatron really had need for any wings since he was always with God, but that was beside the point.

“What is wrong?” Raphael asked, as she moved to stand next to him and look across the new angels as well.

“They are Seraphs.” He told her, feeling clumsy with the unfamiliar word. She screwed her face up and repeated the word carefully, making Michael feel even closer to her as he knew it was not just him struggling with the newness.

“What does it mean?”

“I do not know. Only Father knows.”

She nodded sagely, and then their attention was taken by the fact that several of them were trying to climb on Lucifer- Ishim, Malachi, Ramiel and Anna, if Michael had not mistaken their names again. It was quite hard to remember all their names when there were so many new ones at once.

“Did they really climb on Lucifer?” Adam asked, laughing at the image

“They would climb on all of us- and each other if none of us were near.”

Adam laughed again, “That’s adorable.”

“It was, yes.”

Gabriel adored the Seraphs, all of them with no questions or hesitation, (Michael supposed that might have had something to do with the fact that he was the only one of the archangels to not have a hand in raising another) but a few Seraphs in particular attached themselves to him with a ferocity Michael had not realised they were capable of. Castiel, in particular, loved Gabriel along with the Seraph siblings he was closer with, Balthazar, Anna, Inias, Samandriel, and Benjamin, plus a few others who seemed to float in and out of different groups.

Raphael gained a small following as well, of those Seraphs who were impressed by her ability to heal the little injuries that they sustained through play and Lucifer became a focus for those who disliked having to obey Michael’s schedules. He did worry about them slightly, especially since some of them seemed to love Lucifer more than their Father- Azazel in particular acted like Lucifer was above everything else in his small existence, and it was concerning- but, as Raphael pointed out, they were only children still and they had not seen their Father that often as He was still creating other Seraphs, and a new kind of angel He was apparently going to call ‘Cupids’. Naomi told him that she was almost certain that He did not want the four Archangels to raise the Cupids as well, which was a slight relief as there were many, many Seraphs and Michael wasn’t certain that he could deal with another type of angel on top of that.

The Seraphs existed, they grew, and they learned with help from their four eldest siblings, and once Father finished creating the Seraphs and His Cupids, He began to spend more time mingling with His children once again. Michael found that he was happy once again, in the same way he had been before the creation of anything other than him- it was different of course, and he had more responsibility and he had to train the Seraphs with his sword as well as practicing to make Father pleased, but it was always bright in Heaven, the Seraphs’ laughter could always be heard from at least one direction and everyone could feel the strength of Father’s presence. Even Naomi seemed to lose some of her stiffness when she helped him to usher the Seraphs from one task to another, and a few times he was almost convinced he saw her smile.

It didn’t last. Father had more plans for the universe He had begun to create, and He soon tired of just spending His existence playing with fledglings. He returned to the place where He created, taking Metatron and Naomi with Him- Metatron was not missed by anyone, but Michael missed Naomi’s ability to be firm with the Seraphs, and some of the Seraphs missed the way that she would carry them if they refused to move. It got harder to raise them with the lack of divinity that they had all enjoyed while their father was around and some of the younger ones would cry more often and sometimes be completely inconsolable. When Michael had the time to reflect, many years later while ruling Heaven, he would wonder if that was where Lucifer’s resentment of their Father started.

Naomi came back to report that their Father had created a ‘planet’. The stiffness had returned to her movements and she looked at the Seraphs with her original apathy. She said the planet was to be called Earth and that it would be the site of God’s next creations.

When given permission, Michael took all his siblings down to Earth to explore.

Naomi had told them that, while they were down there a fish- one of Father’s earliest creation would emerge from the water that covered everything, and it was important in the next development of life on the planet. Michael passed on this information to the rest of the archangels and someone made it into a sort of game, in which they competed to find the fish first. If Metatron had spent slightly more time around them and explained the concept of God, they may have known that it was already written who would find the fish, and they had no say in it. However, Metatron fancied himself as above all the other angels and therefore did not spend anytime with them at all if God had not commanded it, and he certainly didn’t go out of his way to start conversations.

They managed to split the Seraphs into four groups- later these groups would be divided again and called garrisons, but God had no use for organised fighters yet- each with one archangel at the head and they flew down to Earth, so more clumsily than others.

It was Castiel who found the fish first, he was standing a little way from Balthazar and Inias who were playing with the sand that was found at the edge of the water, when it crawled out- tiny appendages visible and with lungs that started working as soon as it hit the air. He crouched down to watch it and Gabriel, who had been trying to teach some of the other Seraphs to build what he was calling a ‘sand-castle’ noticed and flew over. Carefully he pulled him back to give the little fish some space.

“Don’t step on that fish, Cassie,” he told him, looking down at the wide-eyed Seraph, “big plans for that fish.”

Michael joined them soon after, “Have you found Father’s fish?”

“It seems like it.”

Everyone gathered around to look, and together as unified angels, for what would be the first and last time, they watched together as the struggling fish took it first movements up the beach and onto land.

“And then you have the seven days of creation, or whatever it was, right?”

“It wasn’t seven days- that was the story He told the early humans because they had no concept of that amount of time- but yes, He created night and day, sea and land, the plants, the other heavenly bodies, animals for the land, sea and sky, and then finally humans.”

“Adam and Eve.”

“It was Adam and Lilith originally.”

“Really? I don’t remember that in Sunday school.”

God showed off His newest creation to all His children with pride, and He told them that the ‘humans’ were more important than they were for His plan. Michael stayed on Earth for quite a while after that, watching the naked humans stumble about the garden and destroy Father’s plants by pulling things off of them with no care, and scattering those they did not like on the floor. He didn’t understand how something so careless could be more important than the angels who would never dare to destroy any of God’s creations so brazenly. Unknown to him, Lucifer agreed, but he was angry about it.

Lilith was a beautiful woman and she probably did love Adam at first, but he viewed himself as more like God, since God came to them in a male form, and demanded she submit to him as his wife. Lilith was also proud and strong and she refused to do so- Michael wasn’t present when it happened, but God agreed with Adam and cast Lilith out to reside in a place He had named ‘Hell’ until He decided what to do with her. As a replacement He then created Eve from Adam and the two humans were equal no longer.

Raphael was horrified at that development, and she had Gabriel and Lucifer supporting her- although Gabriel was just supporting her because he didn’t know what else to say, and Lucifer supported her because it allowed him to develop his narrative of the incompetence of humans when compared to the angels. Michael, however, stood by his Father’s decision. Lilith’s banishment was probably the start of the rift between the archangels, but it was only increased by the return of Amara.

If Michael were completely honest, he would admit that, by that point, he had almost forgotten about Amara’s existence- which was forgivable since she had not shown herself since before Heaven was created and his Father did not speak of her often, or at all. Her return was the only time that Michael ever saw Metatron without God before He left Heaven for good- he had been removed from the throne room, along with Naomi, and both of them were sat with their backs to the doors, waiting patiently. Neither of them knew what was happening when he asked, but Michael stayed to talk to them- mostly Naomi, since he still regretted not having looked after her more- and that was why he was there when their Father forcibly removed Amara from the throne room and yelled that she was not to return. Father didn’t even acknowledge the three of them, waiting patiently, He just turned back into the throne room, slamming the door behind Him.

Later, the four archangels were summoned to the throne room and informed of a special mission they must undertake alongside their Father.

“None of you were concerned about that?”

“I think we were just grateful that we were allowed to be near him again.”

“Michael…”

The actual fight with Amara would forever remain a blurry memory for Michael, and he was never certain why- it was possible that it was something to do with the sheer amount of power he was exposed in while in the middle of God and Amara fighting each other with the full force of their power.

There was a cage- he remembered that- and the reason the four of them had been brought along was to lure Amara into that cage and shut the door on her, so she could never escape. Then the lock was sealed with a mark on Lucifer. God had smiled when He told them that, said that the brightness of His Morningstar’s grace would be able to withstand the evil and anger of the mark that originated with Amara. Michael had been a little concerned for Lucifer when He had first explained this, but the utter joy that Lucifer displayed at regaining his position as the Morningstar- God’s favourite- was enough to silence Michael’s concern. If he had taken the time to consider his Father’s battle plan, as he would when he was in charge of making them, he might have wondered why God already had a strategically placed cage that could hold His sister, and a plan on how to seal in forever, as it was he didn’t- he didn’t consider why until he had to seal away his own brother in yet another cage.

The Mark was obvious on Lucifer’s grace, even if he wore it as a symbol of pride, it was dark and ugly, and Michael hated it.

“Michael?”

“Sorry. I just can’t help but think if I had thought through what He was doing…”

“It wasn’t your fault. You know that right?”

“Yes but…”

“No!”

There was a pause and Michael smiled at him sadly, his smile suggested that they should agree to disagree, or they would circulate that conversation for years. Adam sighed,

“Is this when he does the first temptation?”

They all expected that God would spend more time with them after Amara’s imprisonment, Naomi had suggested that she thought worrying about His sister was what had taken up so much of His time previously, but she was apparently wrong. God went straight back to focusing on His humans- doting on them in a way that He had never done with His other children. The humans were given a rule then; they weren’t to eat from the fruit that hung from the new tree He placed in the centre of the garden.

Speculations picked up in Heaven about why God had given them that rule, but nobody really knew, except maybe the new angel Joshua who had been created on the same level as Metatron and left to look after the garden. That was the cause of confusion as well, God had previously said that the humans were to look after the garden, so why did He create an angel to do the same thing? Lucifer was convinced that He had a plan, but he didn’t seem very happy about it. When asked by the Seraphs about Lucifer, Michael didn’t know what to tell them, but he knew that Lucifer was still upset from a second rejection from their Father. God still preferred the humans.

The temptation of Adam and Eve was recorded quite accurately by humans in the future, which Michael never understood, except for one part- Lucifer did not go down as a serpent to speak to Eve, but as himself in all his utter beauty. It has been said that the devil comes disguised as everything you have ever wanted, and that was completely true for Eve who only had Adam to speak to the majority of the time, and a friend- who was willing to listen to her theories about the garden and what certain herbs could do- was exactly what she wanted. That was the other part that humans never recorded, Lucifer did not go down once and convince them to eat the fruit, instead he visited regularly and let Eve build up trust in him before he slowly steered the conversation towards the forbidden fruit.

In the end, that took too long, her natural curiosity couldn’t quite override her belief in God, and Lucifer lied. He told Eve it would make her as clever and knowledgeable as God- even more knowledgeable than Lucifer himself, and he left her with that knowledge. Eve told Adam, and the rest of it- as they say- is history. Although, very few people realise that Eve was heavily pregnant when they were banished from the garden, and she gave birth for the first time as they were trying to find somewhere new to stay.

The need for the angel Joshua became abundantly clear in Heaven.

God became noticeably absent again.

“Again??”

“Yes, Adam.”

“And I thought my dad sucked.”

With their Father suddenly absent and nobody giving orders, Michael was lost and thrust into a position he had not been prepared for. He forbade Lucifer from going down to Earth, and assigned some of his most loyal Seraphs to follow that order- Zachariah and Uriel among others- he hoped that this would ease some of the horrified tension that had built up in Heaven since Lucifer had committed the unthinkable. It did not.

Heaven became slightly disorganised alongside Michael trying to step up as a leader in the absence of God, and Lucifer’s Seraphs, as he had come to think of them, began to pull back from following his orders and look to Lucifer instead. In desperation he reorganised the small garrisons that had started to form so that Lucifer’s followers were mixed among those still utterly loyal to God. Nobody was really happy, and even those he had separated from Lucifer somehow found their way back. Michael chose to speak to Lucifer about it, although it can be said that it wasn’t much of a choice when looking at his options.

“You can skip this bit, I kind of know how it goes.”

“No. No, it’s just that I realised that was the first time we fought.”

“Oh…”

“He accused me of trying to divide Heaven and make our siblings unhappy.”

In the end, Michael allowed the Seraphs to return to where they preferred, but the damage had already been done. Maybe it had been done with the original temptation, or maybe it was Michael’s failed attempt to fix it, but it was damaged and his arguments with Lucifer began to get even worse.

Gabriel and Raphael had no place in that fight, and they watched from the side-lines as their two older brothers, the two who had raised them together and loved them more than anything, began to fall apart. If you had asked either of the younger archangels, before the fighting had begun, if they believed in soulmates, their answers would have been yes, and they would have pointed to Michael and Lucifer as an example. They had always been joined at the hip, as the humans would say much later on in their existence, and they used to move together as though they were part of one being. In the same way that the eldest child watches their parent’s relationship fall apart before a divorce, they kept the Seraphs away from the arguments, and amused them with whatever they could conjure up when the fighting became to much to ignore. They took on extra duties to fill the gaps where Michael and Lucifer had been, along with trying to fill the gaps left by their Father, and when the Seraphs were resting, they would curl up back to back and try not to let the other know they were crying.

And then one of the Seraphs, Remiel, who was old enough that she remembered the peace from before but young enough that she thought she could help, tried to break up one of Michael and Lucifer’s fights. She got in between them as Michael lunged with his blade, aiming for the centre of Lucifer’s grace, and she became the first casualty in what would become the first civil war in Heaven. Michael in the cage referred to it as The Civil War because, to his knowledge, there had not been another and he could never have imagined that Raphael, the healer, and Castiel, a Seraph, would be bold enough to start another.

Her death caused an emotion within Michael that he was not aware anyone could feel, his grace was twisting in on itself and it wanted to destroy whatever had hurt her. He couldn’t because it was him, and the unidentifiable emotion was grief. Unbeknown to him, Michael would become achingly familiar with the feeling as time progressed.

And then God came back.

Michael wanted to think that God had come back because things had gotten out of hand, and he hung onto that belief with a frightening conviction, even when the fighting between him and Lucifer increased. Prior evidence considered; it was more likely that Remiel’s death was another part of His plan.

Raphael and Gabriel were still struggling with the Seraphs, and it was one time when Michael and Lucifer had retreated to lick their wounds that their Father spoke to the two of them alone for the first time ever.

“He is building something in the place that Lilith resides.” Raphael had said as they sat alone, overlooking Earth and the children of Adam and Eve- Lucifer had tempted one son to kill another, and by doing so had passed on part of the Mark that sealed Amara’s cage.

“I noticed.”

She looked at her brother, he was hunched over and miserable, still mourning the loss of Remiel, and unable to care about much at the moment. She was about to reach over and reassure him, tell him that angels couldn’t simply cease to exist and that she had to be somewhere in the universe when their Father appeared, and both shot to their feet in surprise.

“Hello, children.” He greeted them with the same benevolent smile that He always wore on His face that didn’t seem as comforting as it had been previously in light of the newer developments in Heaven. He sat with them, an intruder on what had been a quiet space and He waited. They didn’t know it, but He was waiting for them to tell Him how worried they were about everything in Heaven, how they were scared for the future and didn’t know how to look after the Seraphs without Michael and Lucifer anymore.

They didn’t tell Him, it all seemed too much to vocalise, and in the end, God got tired of waiting for them to talk to Him and instead just launched into His comforting speech.

“I know that this is a hard time for you, my children, but you must understand that I have a plan.” He smiled at them as though this was the most fantastic news, “There is unrest at the moment but with my plan, it will all be sorted quite soon and all you will have to do is wait.”

The three of them sat in silence for a little while after He finished speaking, the two archangels unwilling to say anything and unable to express their fear. Eventually He rose and smiled at them again, “Hang in there, my children, it will all come to its conclusion.”

And then He was gone again, leaving them alone and miserable and even more frightened for the future.

“I don’t know if I want to find out.” Raphael whispered,

“Find out what?”

“What His conclusion to all of this is. I’m scared.”

“As long as no more Seraphs die, it doesn’t matter.”

“Did more Seraphs die?”

“Yes. Not only then but they have continued to fall in number as the years went on.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Lucifer killed a Seraph who dared suggest that he was in the wrong, and I believe that is what pushed Gabriel away in the end.”

Anabiel was dead now, as well as Remiel and her death hadn’t even been the same accidental circumstances as Remiel’s. Lucifer had pulled out his blade in a fit of anger and run her through without a pause or a second thought. Raphael had buried her, and she and Gabriel had tried to reassure the Seraphs, tried to tell them that their oldest brothers loved them still, even when two dead seemed to point to the contrary. God had not created His Seraphs to be stupid, however, and they saw straight through the archangels’ desperation. No one said anything, but they all knew that their words held less truth every day.

The awful routine that had unfortunately been set up continued- Raphael and Gabriel roused the Seraphs come morning, Raphael and Gabriel continued to educate them about Heaven, Raphael and Gabriel played with the Seraphs and indulged them in their silly games, and all the while in the background of their strained normality, Michael and Lucifer fought. Some days, one or the other would join them in playing with the Seraphs and there would be silence in the background- but never both of them together, the four archangels were not a complete unit any longer.

That could be the end of the story, we know that the Heavenly Host fell apart, and continued to fall apart until all that was left were warring factions who didn’t even know why they wanted to destroy each other- what happens next is quite common knowledge, but it doesn’t share the awful emotions that come with having family ripped apart, slowly at first and then with a huge pull as ordered by your father.

Gabriel was the youngest of the archangels, and as such he had been completely doted upon by his three older siblings until the creation of the Seraphs, and during that time he had been instrumental in keeping them together at all times- he would insist upon games that required all four of them, he had been the one to demand all four of them shared a nest, and he was never quite sure how to function without the other three parts of his whole. Now he only really had one other piece, and even she was pulling away to avoid being hurt, so he took a slightly drastic measure and he removed himself from the whole.

“What are you doing?”

He jumped, almost guiltily at Raphael’s voice and looked up from where he was carefully taking feathers from what used to be the archangels’ nest.

“Nothing.” He told her, but she was impossible to lie to and had been considering the same course of action.

“You’re leaving?”

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, not angry, not disappointed, but understanding and sat down next to him silently and he suddenly found all the words that had been stuck inside him pouring out for her to hear.

“I can’t do this, I can’t just sit around and listen to them fighting every day while we try to convince the Seraphs that nothing is wrong because there is something wrong, there is and we both know it, we can both feel it and I’m crying whenever there isn’t anyone to see, and the only person I have is you but even you are busy all the time with the children.”

They both started crying then, and Raphael found herself begging him not to leave her, while Gabriel begged her to come with him, but they both knew that their choices had been made even before they stepped into their old nest for the first time in years. Gabriel, and only Gabriel, would be the next angel to leave them.

“I’ll miss you.” One of them said, or maybe both of them because it was true on both accounts and they cried together for another length of time until it was time to send the Seraphs back to their nests for the night. Gabriel did it by silent and mutual agreement because it would be the last time, he would see them, and they deserved to spend that last time with him before he left.

“I won’t tell anyone.” Raphael whispered as he got up to leave. “I won’t let them know that I knew.”

Michael, who was regaling this story to Adam in the cage, obviously did not know the full details of their conversation before Gabriel left since he had not been there, but Raphael had given him a short version of it while they were ruling Heaven together and he had wondered why Gabriel had left them. She didn’t tell him about the tears or the fact that she had promised not to tell, just Gabriel’s motivations, and she hadn’t told him that she had wanted so desperately to join him.

“What happened to him?”

“I don’t know. He was impossible to find.”

“But he told the Virgin Mary she was pregnant, didn’t he? Or has the bible lied to me?”

“He was impossible to find to everyone except God.”

Nobody spoke about Gabriel’s unexpected disappearance; his absence was something everyone was hyper-aware of but ignored out of fear of the reaction of the other archangels. It would have broken Michael that his siblings were afraid of him if he had been aware of anything other than Lucifer’s continued rebellion. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on the point of view of the person looking on, he was not aware of anything other than Lucifer’s continued rebellion and the Seraphs no longer came to him with their little problems or to sit with him and try and persuade him to let them play with his sword. They avoided him unless he gave them an order and that, unknowingly, set the new precedent for Heaven.

Michael and Lucifer were pretty much evenly matched in their fighting- Michael had taught Lucifer how to fight, and he had taught all his siblings all he knew so that they could be strong. Neither of them ever ‘won’ any of their fights in the traditional sense, they would just fight until they both pulled away due to exhaustion and the cycle would start again the next day. It was a cycle, and it was never ending to the point where their shouts could almost always be heard throughout Heaven. Raphael put the Seraphs through their paces as the blows started again in the background and she wondered if Gabriel was happier than her.

“How long did that cycle last for?”

“I couldn’t say. It felt like forever.”

“How did it end?”

“Father finished what he had built in Hell.”

“The Cage.”

Michael made a sweeping motion around them at the unfortunate emptiness. “The Cage.”

God came back again, from wherever it was that He had been while Gabriel had run away, His two oldest had attempted to kill each other again and again, and while Raphael had begun to be colder with the Seraphs, and He did not bring good news, although He told them He did.

“You want me to trap Lucifer in a cage you have built?”

“He has become too dangerous, my son, and he is the cause of the unhappiness in Heaven.”

Michael thought about that very carefully, “If I do this, Heaven will return to its previous state?”

“Yes, my son.”

“I shall organise my garrisons.”

Maybe if Michael had known that God had begun to construct the cage, that he was to trap Lucifer in, many years before any violence had broken out in Heaven he might have asked what God’s overarching plan was, but God was careful and Michael did not know that, he only knew that his Father had not lied to him before and he knew that he wanted Gabriel back and he wanted Raphael to be happy once again. She had not laughed in years.

He told Raphael of the plan because he would need her- she was the one who had been training the Seraphs while he and Lucifer had been fighting. Raphael did not argue, she did not complain or ask Father why this was necessary, she just nodded and began to organisations that Michael wanted. The Seraphs noticed how miserable she was and obeyed without question, they wanted to make her life easier, even if they didn’t quite understand. Unfortunately, some of the Seraphs were still more loyal to Lucifer and they told him what Michael and Raphael were doing- and they embellished the little that they knew as well because they were only young, and they did not understand that there would be consequences greater than they had known before.

“You don’t have to tell me about the actual fight.”

“It was so much. He positioned those loyal to him around him, as a line of defence and I had to cut through my siblings to reach him.”

“Michael…”

“There was so- there was… there was so much death, Adam.”

Raphael took her place at Michael’s right hand and looked across the battlefield. Because that is what it was- a battlefield, where even more of their siblings would be lost- and she didn’t cry, but she wanted to. Lucifer was surrounded by Seraphs that she had helped raise from fledglings, and if Michael were to succeed, he would need to get through them. She could almost see the path he would take, and she knew which of them would be the first to die.

“We do this for Heaven.” He had told them, forceful and righteous, “We do this for our Father.”

Maybe the Seraphs had been emboldened by his short and rousing speech, but she was not, and it was too late to stop anything anyway. She spent a short amount of time wondering what Gabriel would do before she realised- he would have left, and that was exactly what he had done.

“I should have gone with you,” she whispered into the cold air, “I wish I had.”

Michael heard her and he wanted to say something, something encouraging and bright to help her get through this, but when he turned to look at her, he realised that he didn’t know what would help her anymore, he didn’t know the cold figure with a sword who had once been the healer. His little sister was gone, a warrior stood beside him, Gabriel had run, and he was about to cast Lucifer out of Heaven.

“This is what Father knows to be best.” He announced, and then he charged. Raphael kept at his side throughout the whole battle and no matter how much faith she might have lost, she fought as though she was doing the right thing.

Far away, from a hidden pocket on Earth, Gabriel stood in the rain and watched the burning trails of his siblings fall from Heaven as Michael cast them out, cast them down to live in Hell, and his tears mingled with the rain but it didn’t matter because there was no one around to convince that he wasn’t crying. Lucifer’s fall was the most obvious- he might have become corrupted but there was nothing in Heaven or Hell that could have dulled the overwhelming brightness of his grace. It burned like the sun was falling and his pain was felt for miles. Gabriel fell to the ground and sobbed even harder.

Unknown to all of them, up in Heaven, Raphael was doing the same thing, sitting in the middle of where the battlefield had been, surrounded by the burnt wing patterns of the Seraphs she had trained. The remaining Seraphs were scattered around, eyes wide open and scared, looking to the two archangels for help where none could be offered. Michael stood on the edge, watching the space where Lucifer had taken his fall and he too cried, for a loss that would never be filled and a family that would never be fixed. The dull ache that wrapped around his grace and wanted him to scream was back, he turned to see the overlapping burns that littered Heaven’s floor and he was lost, completely lost.

God broke the silence, unexpectedly.

“Congratulations, you have all saved Heaven.” He smiled His benevolent smile, and turned away abruptly, “Metatron! Come along, we have more work to do.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“He just left you all there to mourn the loss of, like, half of your siblings and didn’t even try to help?”

“The universe was important to Him.”

“More important than- forget it. What happened next?”

“Naomi was given to us to help raise and train the Seraphs and Heaven continued as normal.”

“What about Raphael?”

“She became more distant and closed off. I think she lost faith in our Father, especially after He left for good.”

“And Gabriel?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since.”

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