#apple computer hire

[bibleofficial]

if trump actually does put tariffs on fuckin everything that could be very good for america in the long run tbf

[apple-laptop-rental-in-chennai]

Mac Mini for Rental in Chennai

[commodorez]

Strange question, but I'm curious. Do you have a least favourite computer?

Ohhhh, good one. I'm going to make some enemies for these, I'm sure.

Least favorite vintage computer:

Apple I

Not for any technical reasons, or anything about its history. I happen to like and respect Steve Wozniak, and everything he did in the service of computing in the 1970s. His ROM monitor known as WOZMON is only 256 bytes so it can fit into a first generation 1702A EPROM, which is damned impressive. I use the newer EWOZMON regular basis on other 6502 machines.

The Apple I exemplifies a computer that no longer exists as a computer. Rather, it's become the legendary trading card for the ultrawealthy techbro types who seek to commodify the history of the home computer revolution that they didn't bother to study. It's been reduced to no more than a static display piece, and a cornerstone of revisionist history, ignoring the larger picture.

An Apple I is considered too monetarily valuable to risk applying power to or fixing, "gotta leave it original!" with failed, leaky capacitors, doing nothing. Well if you can't use it, it ceases to be a computer because it isn't computing anything. They had almost a dozen of them at VCF West XIV, most of which were under plexiglass with a hired guard to keep an eye on them because the high price they fetch. Only one was powered up at a time under the watchful gaze of experts, handling things with museum gloves. Unlike other exhibits, these were not available to be touched or interacted with (which defeats the whole reason people enjoy vintage computer festivals).

Assuming you look beyond the hype, and get your hands on a working Apple I? It turns out to be quite underpowered and limited -- which makes sense, Woz was optimizing the shit outta his part count and budget! I wish I had his skills. It was a major technical achievement to get it to do that much with so little. It's a TV Typewriter (RIP Don Lancaster) bolted to a minimal 6502. If i had one at my disposal in the 1970s, I'd probably do like the contemporary hackers did and modify it as my budget and skills allowed. But it's 2024 and an Apple I -- you aren't allowed to do that. No, if I had an Apple I, I could sell it and buy a house with that money.

If it weren't for all that, I think I'd probably just be indifferent to it, or maybe even like it for what it is.

Least favorite general computer:

eMachines eTower 600is

What a piece of shit. I had one when it was new, running Windows ME and it was hot garbage. I could not stand this underpowered excuse for a computer after a few months when the new computer sheen wore off. Floppy drive died too soon. Didn't come with the advertised 64MB of RAM (who puts 33MB of RAM in a computer?). Hard drive was only 10GB, kept filling it up. It was filled with bloatware, the keyboard was cheap garbage. I don't begrudge my parents for buying it, they didn't know any better and I was too young to have any say in the matter. That said, it endured the shortest tenure of any computer in my house to date.

Never obsolete my ass.

[palmtreepalmtree]

When I read the news, I swear sometimes I'm either not understanding something really important, or this whole fucking thing is a lie.

Okay, so top of the article says that Apple will open "a new manufacturing factory in Texas over the next four years."

The article then reports this in the third paragraph:

The iPhone maker’s announcement underscores how tech giants are trying to forge a closer relationship with President Trump as his second administration imposes new tariffs on China — where Apple manufactures its products — and shapes policies on artificial intelligence.

Okay...

Then two more paragraphs down from that, after more discussion of the impact of tariffs on China and meeting with T at the WH, it says, "workers at the factory in Texas will produce servers for Apple Intelligence."

...okay... so they're not actually moving any manufacturing of their products to the United States. They're manufacturing servers for their new AI product.

Then it says this:

The 20,000 new jobs will mostly focus on research and development, silicon engineering, AI and machine learning, the Cupertino, Calif., company said.

So... they're not manufacturing jobs?

Then it says that Apple will expand in other states as well:

Those expansion plans include investments in data centers, its facilities and skills development for students and workers. At a manufacturing facility in Arizona, Apple said, it will spend heavily to produce advanced silicon that is used in its devices. In Detroit, the company said, it’s opening a manufacturing academy that will offer free courses online and in person. Apple engineers will team up with university experts to help small and medium-sized businesses implement AI and manufacturing methods.

So... the only reference to actually manufacturing an item or product is in Arizona where they're manufacturing "advanced silicon." Everything else is data centers, training centers, and attempts to get other businesses to implement its AI.

To be clear, iPhones, computers, airpods, and all the other ubiquitous Apple devices will continue to be manufactured outside of the United States. No movement there, despite the tariffs. So why this headline? Why does this article spend three paragraphs mentioning the tariffs?

On the one hand, shame on me for still subscribing to the LA Times and reading this regurgitated press release posing as an article. On the other hand, is it me...? Like... wtf? What am I not getting here?

I mean, I'm not saying that research and engineering jobs are somehow less valuable than manufacturing jobs, I'm just saying we are constantly being sold a total lie about companies making a manufacturing investment in the United States. It's all just AI data centers. That's it. That does not require a significant number of skilled manufacturing workers. It's just going to be empty towns. Empty towns with huge warehouses.

I just think the whole article is so disingenuous. I'm embarrassed that this stands for journalism, I'm embarrassed thinking about the people who will read the headline and think 'Oh, nice!' Especially to the extent that it implies directly states that the tariffs are good or successful for AMERICAN WORKERS. All of this was re-printed by the LAT with no questioning or skepticism or additional clarity added.

I'm just so fucking over it.

[t-top-apologist]

At the end of the day the average civilian wishes to be catered to like an old money steel baron or perhaps one of those chaps from Downton Abbey. The entirety of modern society has come together to enable this, mass-producing cheap facsimiles of fortunes that should rightly either be built on child labor or perhaps serfdom.

Their lawns, taking up what could otherwise be used to grow crops or serve as "outdoor garage space," exist to ape the wide ranging estates meant for the nobility to chase down a fox while adorned in silly jackets. Their houses sport columns and stupid windows meant to imitate three different classical artforms at the same time because of something called "economies of scale." They even have male-centric social clubs meant for parlour games, discussing sports, and dining with friends, in this case franchised out under such names as "Buffalo Wild Wings."

This aping of the upper class continues to the hire of "artisans" to do relatively simple work deemed too complicated to warrant the time of the average citizen. It's not that the jobs are too taxing for your average person, but rather that the market has crystallized around the desire to live like budget royalty. Therefore they take their wafer-thin computers to artisans (now more commonly called "experts" or "Apple geniuses") for repair and have democratized the position of carriagemen to 22 year old dealership lube techs named Ryan who will turn a 15 minute job into a 30 minute endeavor thanks to frequent vape breaks and a brief brush with what the industry refers to as "a misplaced drain bolt."

The mid-40s project manager and mother of 3 is no less competent when changing oil than her grandfather before her who knew what "Valve Lash" is, but what separates the two is a series of wars in the 1900s that required an entire generation of men to become very familiar with operating and repairing machines better than the Germans and Japanese (an exercise that Chrysler would later abandon in favor of the phrase "if you can't beat em, join em").

This conflict ended with a surge of able-bodied men finding themselves returning to their project management jobs (like their granddaughters after them) but armed with captured German weapons and a comprehensive understanding of tubochargers. Just as a line can be drawn from troop drawdowns to political violence, there's a distinct correlations between GIs returning home and the violence with which Ford Flathead V8s were torn apart by inventive supercharging methods paired with landspeed record attempts.

Give a man a racecar and he'll crash it on the salt flats in a day. Teach a man to repair a racecar and it will sit in the garage of his suburban house for a few years in between complete engine rebuilds required by what can only be described as "vaporized piston rods."

Of course this hotrodder generation created the circumstances we live in today, as the market saw their fast cars cobbled together from old prewar hulks and simply stamped out new ones from factory, faster and more convenient for the next generation than building one from scratch. Now the project manager mother of 3 drives a 4wd barge with climate controlled seats boasting more computing power than the moon mission and an emissions-controlled powertrain with more horsepower than her grandfather's jalopy and her fathers factory muscle car combined. And she doesn't care at all.

Yet Amongst the average civilians there walks a rare breed: people who know how to change their own oil. We the chosen move among you silently, bucking the system, operating outside the cultural helplessness and trading in forbidden knowledge in almost-abandoned forum threads (flame wars over conventional vs synthetic).

While we do have a marked air of superiority about this, I can't say I haven't stooped to imitating the rich myself. I've been known to wear a silly jacket from time to time.

[femalechibiblogger]

More Underrated Indie Horror Games

1. Andy's Apple Farm

Andy's Apple Farm is a 2021 indie horror game developed by M36games. The game was first released on Itch.io and Game Jolt on August 22, 2021, and was later released on Steam on November 26, 2021.

The story revolves around the player Beta-testing an 80's retro game created by Thomas Eastwood called Andy's Apple Farm and discovering the hidden truth in the seemingly innocent game. You play as the titular protagonist, Andy the Apple, who in Chapter 1, had his keys stolen by his friends, and he must complete minigames and earn Bonus Stickers to get them back. As the player progresses the game, they uncover dark secrets about the creator's family and a strange dark Entity that stalked them.

2. Bonnie's Bakery

Bonnie's Bakery is a horror and cooking game created in 2022. It is being made by a group of 7 under the name Melty Clown Studio, under the publisher aislebsoupid on itch.io.

"A game where you serve customers delicious food as Bonnie! Yes, that's all it is! A game where you serve customers delicious food...

Nothing else."

3. Shipwrecked 64

Broadside Beach: SHIPWRECKED 64, known as SHIPWRECKED 64 in-universe, is the third of a three part mockumentary series dedicated to Broadside Animation, uploaded by Squeaks D'corgeh. Previously, the game had a legacy release before its official release on January 1st, 2024. 

Bucky and his gang are in danger and they need your help!!With this brand new 3D platformer, Bucky and his friends are going to be taken on a wild ride through an island they had crashed upon. Help out your pals and get the ship back up and running so you can go home once again!

4. The Bunny Graveyard

The Bunny Graveyard is an episodic horror adventure about a bunny who seeks to find the horrifying truth behind her existence. Immerse yourself in a world of pixel art inspired by GBA and NDS graphics, while unraveling an enthralling story that keeps you hooked!

Begin your journey as... a cursor? Your job is to find Skye, the bunny! But there seems to be some kind of strange entity inside the computer that doesn't want you to leave... can you complete your task and survive?

5. Happy's Humble Burger Farm

Happy's Humble Burger Farm is a restaurant simulation horror game series developed by Scythe Dev Team and published by TinyBuild.

As the series sets in the urban city, the player takes the job as the employee of the fast-food restaurant Happy's Humble Burger Farm where they must do their absolute best to satisfy the customers by serving their correct orders as swift as possible, while surviving from nightmare-fueled versions of the restaurant's beloved mascots.

Congrats, you're hired! Serve customers and maintain the Happy's Humble Burger Farm restaurant alone on the overnight. But be careful; things fall apart if you mess up! After work, head home and keep your eyes open for a way to escape the Barnyard Buds and their fast food fever-dream.

6. Garten of BanBan

Garten of Banban is a game made by the Euphoric Brothers. It is part of the controversial t mascot horror genre and is the Euphoric Brothers' 8th game. Upon release the game was met with a very ftff reception from gamers and critics alike, It received a lot of popularity on the internet as well as a lot of criticism and hate.

Enter Banban's Kindergarten, and you're sure to make some friends. Explore the mysterious establishment and don't lose your life and sanity. Uncover the horrifying truth behind the place, but be careful, as you are far from alone…

7. The Mortuary Assistant

The Mortuary Assistant is a 2022 horror game developed by DarkStone Digital and published by DreadXP. Set in 1998 in a small town in Connecticut, players control a newly hired assistant at a haunted mortuary.

Alone with the dead... Embalm corpses, banish demons, save your soul.

[jhsharman]

The Big Brain

A little odd to shove contemporary references to stories of anachronistic technology. Understand, the three -- and Achie Andrews off panel -- are using a massive room sized pre - pc punch card device -- think ENIAC. The gag is that they mix up their History class question with Mr. Lodge's employment hiring query -- and therein lay the irony in that that the computer of 1965 told Mr. Lodge exactly who he ought hire: A young Steve Jobs. But for a slip of paper, Apple would have been founded right then. The story still has to be set back then, even in the revision, because -- what twenty first century teenager has never heard of Steve Jobs?

And now the rewriters are just having fun with it.

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "A Dish Served Odd" Episode Followup, Part 1

As opposed to cold, which, really, would just freeze your mouth and your brain.

We continue the followup train with one for "A Dish Served Odd". This one will also be split into multiple parts, though I don't think we'll amass a whole five pa- five parts?

Five parts...dear God.

Below the break, get Orli the tourist, a trifler who trifles trifingly, and Odd Squad: The Movie. (Okay, I'm sketchy on that last one, but no one's mentioned it yet besides me and I need my curiosity satisfied.)

And as usual, make sure you've watched the episode first before proceeding. There will be spoilers.

Let's start with the intro, which has, of course, Orli narrating it. Now that her character has been revealed in the flesh, we can have her take over narrating duties from Captain O.

Now, as for this thing...capital sin against Olive. Go to jail. No cards can get you out.

I see they have no qualms about dropping the spoiler of Opie being promoted to the Department of Help.

I also see Orla will have some competition in the violin-playing department.

The difference here, of course, is that we will get no lesbian French brides. Instead we have gay triangle villain, and that is enough for me.

(I do want more, though. But PBS has always been minefield-walking on this stuff.)

Only a few new bits in the intro; otherwise everything else is recycled.

Except for this shot, which the fandom has analyzed to hell and back. I don't really feel like throwing in my two cents just yet; still weighing on doing a Seren's Study where I put in my "once and for all" opinions on the season/series.

And your writer for this episode. I...can't say much about him, because 1) I haven't done the research on him yet and 2) I need to get over the Lightning McQueen brainrot first before I do so.

Also 3) WE GOT COLD OPENS AGAIN PEOPLE. AFTER SEASON 3 KICKED THEM TO THE MOON AND STOLE THEIR KIDNEYS. GOD MOTHERFUCKIN'.

Your producer credit, which is...pretty much the same. Methinks she'll be producing throughout all of this season, so I'm not going to point it out every time.

Bold of this announcer to assume she's not going to eat an egg and a few wings. She can do that. She's an adult.

An adult with...braces, which I'm pretty sure was 100% intentional casting for representing every parent in existence who has braces. How we went from a child with Down syndrome to an adult with braces, and how we'll later go to gay triangle villain, is beyond me.

If you're not going to hire fans to work for you, at least hire some disabled people, huh? (And maybe they do hire them...but I dunno, you'd think we'd actually hear about it in an interview, y'know?)

Wow, that tomato really just up and yoted itself.

Lettuce observe this very important lesson- *bonk*

So with this, we get a first look at Ozzie's and Orli's new desks. Quite a vast difference from the desks in the original series/S1 and S2 -- we have fancy new chairs, Microsoft computers over Apple ones, and desks that actually have a lil' shelf underneath them but, as far as I can see, no drawers. I dig it!

Orli up and snatchin' the paper out of Ozzie's hands is funny, too.

"Done? What done?"

"Everything done."

"...Orli, it's only been a minute and 40 seconds."

"Hey, this episode is about me going out on the town. It's not about us sitting at our desks all day. Get with the program, partner."

SHE TAKES MORNING A N D AFTERNOON NAPS?!?!?!?!?!

I'm sorry, this does make sense considering where she was before, but the fact that the girl requires a morning nap and then an afternoon one already makes my fucking day.

How she's able to even sleep within THE FUCKING NIAGARA FALLS is beyond me, though and I can only assume the answer is "I put small animal tranq in my juice, twice a day."

(Look, in the Oddverse, tranq is Fancy NyQuil. Everyone loves Fancy NyQuil. It's like liquid opioids, for kids, safe to take!)

Ozzie outright commenting on said naps being twice a day was something I was not expecting, and now I'm laughing way too loudly for 2 in the morning.

In Ozzie's absolute lack of defense...partners solving cases without each other is fairly common. If he were familiar with Olive and Otto, and Olympia and Otis, he'd, y'know...probably know that shit.

"Don't you think we should do this on our day off?" the idiot asks, knowing that Orli being there does not solve the oddness crisis despite what "Odd Ones In" wants people to believe and that "a day off" does not exist as a concept.

Assholery and stupidity all within the first two episodes. Sweet Jesus.

A sightseeing tour happening once every decade is not exactly something you wanna put in a "Come to Britain" ad.

Five years, I can look over. Ten years, not a chance in hell.

HA!!! IT'S THE SCENE FROM THE TRAILER I CALLED IT YA HACKS. GOD I'M GOOD AT MY UNPAID JOB.

*silly giggle and another mark on the bingo card*

"And all the world shall know my name!" this idiot says, unaware that the Villain Network was a thing a good four years prior to this episode.

"Terrible..."

"DELICIOUS...and if you say otherwise then I really will call that toe-eating, finger-eating boogeyman."

This fuckass argument about desserts within an 11-minute episode...I'm not even mad it's eating up runtime. I'm living for the absolute sass Captain O is laying on her subordinate right now.

SHE HAS TO BRING IN SOMEONE WHO WORKED ON HER SHIP TO SETTLE A GODDAMN TRIFLE DEBATE. WHERE IS MY SPARE LUNG. WHERE IS MY S P A R E L U-

If you had asked me a few months back what I thought Captain O's ringtone would be, I'd have laughed and said, "You fuckin' nuts? Same ringtone as nearly everybody else."

If you had asked me today what I thought Captain O's ringtone would be, I'd have shivered and said, "Not a horrifying mix of a tuba and a fucking foghorn, that's for sure..."

"Ahoy ahoy."

...Close enough, marking it off on the bingo card.

This is the live-action reenactment of a real-time Facebook post.

And I may not be on Facebook anymore, but I don't think the way people post has changed. Much. Not...in...y'know, with the boomers...y-you should get what I mean, surely.

Gotta say, she's a hell of a lot more enthusiastic than creepy Oceana, ambiguously-gay Octavius...no, wait, he was enthusiastic too, I take that back.

And Mr. Fonts. Definitely more enthusiastic than Mr. Fonts.

"And one person is more than enough, don't you think?"

Someone better get the woman a shushing stick.

No, not for shushing. For bopping over the head with. Get her a box of Gushers and really make her day, huh?

I will say, with all these new editing tricks and transitions and such, it's an incredibly jarring jump from Season 3. I mean, Odd Squad UK is a spinoff, so it being so distinct from Odd Squad and Odd Squad Mobile Unit it barely feels like either at first makes sense...

But in 12 episodes? No fuckin' way am I gonna get used to that.

Y- lady. LADY. This is why America has online library catalogs. FOR THIS EXACT REASON.

Name of the book, author, boom, photo. You don't even have to use the catalog -- Amazon or any bookstore chain will do!

How in the everloving fuck they managed to clean all the trifle off of the photo and brighten it so the toolbox shows up as red instead of dark-chocolate brown is so beyond me it's outta the Milky Way.

(On to Part 2!)

[coffeelover37]

This is gonna be a longer post than usual, but I had a dream last night and I feel like tumblr would appreciate it

Ok,I’m not going to tell you about the full dream it would take too long.and it wouldn’t make any sense but I open my computer and there was like an ad for Apple or something and Paige Bueckers was in It.but I need to tell you about the outfit because my brain is a genius so it was a navy suit with white line And she was wearing the same hair as she wore at the espy

It was something like this, but in my dream, the lines are more prominent . There was like some sort of white shirt underneath It looks good though it wasn’t like a weird way. and there was a briefcase. I don’t know what that was for my brain just put it there.🤷🏾‍♀️

in conclusion BRITTANY HAMPTON please hire me I have ideas 🧎🏾‍♀️

and thank god for the notes app at 2:00am

[lescarbille]

You know what tonight I'm in a very special mood so I just share extract of every Landoscar & Carcar WIP/Pieces of stories I have on my computer that I will post.

Pt. 1 / Pt. 2

Our daddies kissing in a tree | Landoscar | Future fic & Kid fic | Long OS

“Listen, Oscar, I'm willing to admit on live television that you should have been the 2028 world champion if you agree to our girls having play dates.”

Oscar always found Lando slightly eccentric. 

At a time, the blessed one, when he was still a young driver and not competing for a world championship, he found this characteristic endearing. He ended up hating it like everything else about Lando until he left Formula 1 and realised that half of the resentment came from stress and the rest from buried, unacknowledged feelings. 

Oscar opens his mouth and immediately closes it. 

His daughter, his chaotic little Diane, has just exploded seventeen paint bombs throughout her summer camp, dragging Olivia, Lando's adopted daughter, down with her. Olivia, if Max's testimonies are to be believed, is the smartest, most adorable and kindest little girl, far from chaotic and mischievous like Diane. 

Why does a responsible parent want his daughter to play with his lovely gouache kamikaze?

“What ?”

“Olivia and Diane, friend,” Lando shortens, flapping his arms. 

“They have just transformed a holiday camp into a military camp using gouache.”

“I know.”

His accident at Silverstone in 2030 has messed up his head harder than Oscar thinks.

Down Bad | Carloscar | Girl!Oscar | Long OS or Short Multiple chapter story

“Our arrangement no longer holds? Or are you upset because I was better than you for the fifth time in a row?”

Carlos was wrong to think that Oscar was a demon. She is the devil incarnate. 

She looks at him with a satisfied look, red lips, and a smirk, her hand is still secure on his tie and she tortures him. She tortures him in the prettiest way possible, she gets under his skin, into his heart and corrupts him with the sweetest poison. 

“Ferrari messed up its strategies.”

“I told myself that behind his big eyes there wasn’t much, it’s surprising that Twitter calls you Ferrari’s best strategist.”, she seems to think. “Or not.”

And she pulls him into her room because that's always how it starts. She is the devil, and she knows her Mephistophelian dance. And damn, Carlos wants to dance it for the rest of his life.

Je t'aime l'été (link) | Landoscar | Summer Love AU | Long story

“O” or maybe “C”?

Is Charles Lando's true love? 

Red Cheeks and Reverse papaya cap | Landoscar | Landoscar Beef and Ferrari!Oscar | OS

Lando frowns as he looks at the apple peel in a barrel. He shouldn't believe the village fair witches.

Lando has to admit it. Ferrari may be bad at strategies, but they are resourceful when it comes to jokes. The entirety of McLaren hospitality is covered in a thick, red, gooey mixture.  This Asshole of Oscar Piastri. It's his fault.  “What is that?” asks Andrea. “Who did that ?” What are you going to do? Repaint McLaren hospitality red? If Oscar had apologized after blocking him at Spa, they wouldn't be here four months later. Ferrari should have known that a rookie wasn't a good idea, and Oscar Piastri is the worst they've ever had.

Your Breath in My ears | Landoscar | Race Engineer!Oscar | OS

“Lando, plan B” “No.” “Lando, plan B” “No.” “Do you want to win the race?” Oscar asks in his usually placid tone. "Yes." “Okay, then move on to plan B.”  Lando lets out a frustrated growl in his car. Anyone who hires Oscar Piastri as his race engineer should be fired.

How to save the universe according to Lando and Oscar | Landoscar | Space AU | Long Story

The Universe is vast, that’s a general truth.  The sun are hot. The water gets wet. The Universe is vast. So why, in the name of the holy Higgs Boson, is Lando condemned to encounter Oscar Piastri on every planet he goes to?  And why in the name of black holes does he look so sexy in his gold outfit in a crowd made of assassins who would pulverize him if he had any idea who he was? 

I like my man in green | Landoscar | Harry Potter AU | OS

“He’s a Slytherin!” Carlos yells. “They gave you a Slytherin as your tutor." Lando shrugs. The beaters of the Slytherin Quidditch team, Oscar Piastri, a little nerd with glasses, and now Lando's transfiguration tutor, don't look like a threat.  “He sent me into the stands with a bludger during the last match. I ended up in the infirmary.” Carlos can be a bit of an idiot, he doesn't blame him. 

[apple-laptop-rental-in-chennai]

Laser Printer for Rental in Chennai

[raitrolling]

📝 Glasya

Glasya sauntered out of their office, making their way over to their assistant's desk with a lazy yet amused smile on their face.

"Hey, Astera. Did you peep the latest FOI request?"

Astera looked up from her computer screen - then promptly sighed as their boss moved some files aside so they could sit on their desk, kicking their legs as they waved the printed copy of the aforementioned request.

"Glasya, can't you just bring your chair with you?" The greenblood stated with slight irritation.

"I'm the boss here, I do what I want," Glasya replied with a cheeky smile on their face, prompting another sigh from Astera.

"But, yes, I'm looking at it now. It's..." Astera peered in closer to her screen, squinting at the words in disbelief. "Oh, come on, really? This person wants proof for the Flat Alternia theory? What an idiot."

The indigoblood cracked up.

"Man, I know right? Would've dismissed it as a prank but nah, this dude's legit. Put a whole ten paragraphs about his research in the reasons why he needs this info, that's when you know you've got a real cooker," They say with a snort. "Anyway, so I've been looking up some memes we can send him-"

"Glasya, it's an official Freedom of Information request. We have to take it seriously," Astera cut them off before they could finish. They glanced back at the screen, and opened up the electronic database to begin a preliminary search.

"Booo, spoilsport," Glasya huffed, pulling a face of mock disappointment before resuming to their usual cheeky expression. "I'll send you 'em anyway, bet they'll crack a smile on your sour apple face."

Astera responded with nothing but an eyeroll.

The indigoblood snorted in amusement, as they did not expect anything different. Astera took everything seriously - too seriously, they felt, but they suppose they understood why. As the sole remaining survivor of the records manager's assistants, there was a heavy weight on her shoulders to perform at her absolute best and to pick up as much slack as possible. Especially when the manager of the department came across as someone who did not take anything seriously.

Glasya just wished she could feel like she could relax more. They weren't putting any pressure on her performance, that was purely her own doing. If anything, they'd rather she took more time off for herself and let them handle the entire records department.

They're the reason why there's been no new hires for assistant roles to replace the previous ones, after all. They still can't let go.

But, no time to bring down the mood again. They clear their throat, and pick a new joke to roll with.

"Hey, Astera, you think these conspiracy theory guys believe that we breathe in the atmosflat?"

Astera said nothing, but Glasya could see a hint of a smile on her face.

"What about the other planets? Do they think they're flat too or did we just luck out and end up on 2D world?"

That smile got a little more noticeable.

"And what about conscription? Imagine being one of those guys and leaving the planet for the first time. You think they're being like 'ah lads we got it wrong now, shit's a wholeass space basketball', or do they think that it's still flat and it's just always facing them every time they look out the window?"

Finally, Astera snorted.

"Glasya, oh my god."

"Damn, that last one was a real knee-slapper, huh?" They reply with a grin. "Didn't think it was that funny, but we take those."

"No, not your stupid comments - Look."

Astera pointed at her computer screen, prompting Glasya to hop off the desk and stand next to her for a better look.

On one of the monitors, a report from the archives titled 'Report #20033120: "Magically-Induced Mass Delusion Within Block 361 - Flat Alternia"' stared the two trolls right in their face.

Glasya's jaw dropped.

"My God, a wizard did it all along."

[mariacallous]

Today marks two years since Russia launched its full-scale invasion of Ukraine. This week, we detailed the growing crisis in Eastern Ukraine, which is now littered with deadly mines. As it fights back the invading Russian forces, Ukraine’s government is working to develop new mine-clearing technology that could help save lives around the globe.

A leaked document obtained by WIRED has revealed the secret placement of gunshot-detection sensors in locations around the United States and its territories. According to the document, which ShotSpotter's parent company authenticated, the sensors, which are used by police departments in dozens of metropolitan areas in the United States, are largely located in low-income and minority communities, according to WIRED’s analysis, adding crucial context in a long-running debate over police use of the technology.

Speaking of leaks, WIRED this week obtained 15 years of messages posted to an internal system used by members of the US Congress. The House Intelligence Committee used the “Dear Colleagues” system to warn lawmakers of an “urgent matter”—something that has not happened since at least 2009. That urgent matter, which was quickly leaked to the press, turned out to be related to Russian military research of space-based weapons. But some sources say the matter wasn’t urgent at all, and the warning was instead an attempt by House Intelligence leadership to derail a vote on privacy reforms to a major US surveillance program.

On Tuesday, a coalition of law enforcement agencies led by the UK’s National Crime Agency disrupted the LockBit ransomware gang’s operation, seizing its infrastructure, dark-web leak site, and code used to carry out its attacks against thousands of institutions globally. Although ransomware attacks resulted in a record $1.1 billion in ransom payments last year, Anne Neuberger, a top US cyber official in the Biden administration, tells WIRED how the 2021 ransomware attack on Colonial Pipeline has transformed the ways American institutions defend against and respond to such attacks.

In dual wins for privacy this week, the Signal Foundation began its rollout of usernames for its popular end-to-end encrypted messaging app. The update will allow people to connect without having to reveal their phone numbers. Meanwhile, Apple began to future-proof its encryption for iMessage with the launch of PQ3, a next-generation encryption protocol designed to resist decryption from quantum computers.

And there’s more. Each week, we highlight the news we didn’t cover in-depth ourselves. Click on the headlines below to read the full stories. And stay safe out there.

A Mysterious Leak Exposed Chinese Hacking Secrets

Hundreds of documents linked to a Chinese hacking-for-hire firm were dumped online this week. The files belong to i-Soon, a Shanghai-based company, and give a rare glimpse into the secretive world of the industry that supports China’s state-backed hacking. The leak includes details of Chinese hacking operations, lists of victims and potential targets, and the day-to-day complaints of i-Soon staff.

“These leaked documents support TeamT5’s long-standing analysis: China's private cybersecurity sector is pivotal in supporting China’s APT attacks globally,” Che Chang, a cyber threat analyst at the Taiwan-based cybersecurity firm TeamT5, tells WIRED. Chang says the company has been tracking i-Soon since 2020 and found that it has a close relationship with Chengdu 404, a company linked to China’s state-backed hackers.

While the documents have now been removed from GitHub, where they were first posted, the identity and motivations of the person, or people, who leaked them remains a mystery. However, Chang says the documents appear to be real, a fact confirmed by two employees working for i-Soon, according to the Associated Press, which reported that the company and police in China are investigating the leak.

“There are around eight categories of the leaked files. We can see how i-Soon engaged with China's national security authorities, the details of i-Soon’s products and financial problems,” Chang says. “More importantly, we spotted documents detailing how i-Soon supported the development of the notorious remote access Trojan (RAT), ShadowPad,” Chang adds. The ShadowPad malware has been used by Chinese hacking groups since at least 2017.

Since the files were first published, security researchers have been poring over their contents and analyzing the documentation. Included were references to software to run disinformation campaigns on X, details of efforts to access communications data across Asia, and targets within governments in the United Kingdom, India, and elsewhere, according to reports by the New York Times and the The Washington Post. The documents also reveal how i-Soon worked for China’s Ministry of State Security and the People’s Liberation Army.

According to researchers at SentinelOne, the files also include pictures of “custom hardware snooping devices,” such as a power bank that could help steal data and the company’s marketing materials. “In a bid to get work in Xinjiang–where China subjects millions of Ugyhurs to what the UN Human Rights Council has called genocide–the company bragged about past counterterrorism work,” the researchers write. “The company listed other terrorism-related targets the company had hacked previously as evidence of their ability to perform these tasks, including targeting counterterrorism centers in Pakistan and Afghanistan.”

Avast Fined for Selling People’s Browsing Data

The Federal Trade Commission has fined antivirus firm Avast $16.5 for collecting and selling people’s web browsing data through its browser extensions and security software. This included the details of web searches and the sites people visited, which, according to the FTC, revealed people’s “religious beliefs, health concerns, political leanings, location, financial status, visits to child-directed content and other sensitive information.” The company sold the data through its subsidiary Jumpshot, the FTC said in an order announcing the fine.

The ban also places five obligations on Avast: not to sell or license browsing data for advertising purposes; to obtain consent if it is selling data from non-Avast products; delete information it transferred to Jumpshot and any algorithms created from the data; tell customers about the data it sold; and introduce a new privacy program to address the problems the FTC found. An Avast spokesperson said that while they “disagree with the FTC’s allegations and characterization of the facts,” they are “pleased to resolve this matter.”

Scammers Sent Apple 5,000 Fake iPhones, Hoped to Get Real Devices in Return

Two Chinese nationals living in Maryland—Haotian Sun and Pengfei Xue—have been convicted of mail fraud and a conspiracy to commit mail fraud for a scheme that involved sending 5,000 counterfeit iPhones to Apple. The pair, who could each face up to 20 years in prison, according to the The Register, hoped Apple would send them real phones in return. The fake phones had “spoofed serial numbers and/or IMEI numbers” to trick Apple stores or authorized service providers into thinking they were genuine. The scam took place between May 2017 and September 2019 and would have cost Apple more than $3 million in losses, a US Department of Justice press release says.

Fingerprints Cloned From the Sound They Make on Your Screen

Security researchers from the US and China have created a new side-channel attack that can reconstruct people’s fingerprints from the sounds they create as you swipe them across your phone screen. The researchers used built-in microphones in devices to capture the “faint friction sounds” made by a finger and then used these sounds to create fingerprints. “The attack scenario of PrintListener is extensive and covert,” the researchers write in a paper detailing their work. “It can attack up to 27.9 percent of partial fingerprints and 9.3 percent of complete fingerprints within five attempts.” The research raises concerns about real-world hackers who are attempting to steal people’s biometrics to access bank accounts.

[emeraldbabygirl]

I got laid off from my job and I was offered another position within the company right and so it was either sanitation or helping out in formulation and since I don’t like formulation and know I can’t drive a forklift or lift the buckets I figured sanitation and also gotta snag the opening while I can or else I’d have to do the unemployment nightmare. I’m supposed to start Sunday night and I’m trying to just block everything out rn because I’m scared. I’m nervous about a new environment and having to learn more about chemicals and handling them and cleaning the kettles like perfect and I’m afraid of failing and messing up and panicking and crying in front of the other employees cause then they’ll think I’m a pussy which I am but it’d be embarrassing to cry first day on the job. Idk what do to come Sunday, if I chicken out that would have been a waste of time for the people that interviewed me and HR and I’d feel bad. If I go through with the job I’m going to be on edge the entire time and idk how long this lay off will last like what if the apple department I originally was hired for never comes back and my old company doesn’t contact me and I’m stuck in sanitation forever? I’m afraid of trying any other job; retail, office work, anything. Like I’ve worked production at fruit packaging plants since I was 16 I feel like I am not capable physically or mentally of anything important like stocking shelves and working a cash register and dealing with people and recording info into computers and stuff like I am scared of everything. And I’ve been told stuff like I can do anything I put my mind to blah blah blah and I catch on quickly and all that stuff well if I didn’t have anxiety and a better brain this would be a breeze but my brain is like that of a 5 year old sometimes and I just shut down or panic idk how I’m supposed to make it through life as a fully functioning adult :( like it’s always easier said then done I wish I didn’t have anxiety about this job ugh I hate it here ㅠㅠ

I even attempted to turn to being a sugar baby and let me tell you everyone is scary and scam-y and I just wish I had enough money to live comfortably and not have to worry about losing my job and not being able to take care of the bills and pets idk what to do I want to give up. I’ve tried praying so far just once but I’m not religious and I feel silly asking for guidance idk what to do I want to give up on everything. I just want to stay in bed 24/7 and rot I’m tired and scared and worried and idk what to do.

[jakesuit0]

Hitman Review

“Hitman” starts by introducing the Breakfast Kingdom, one of my favorite kingdoms in the show, located in the Bad Lands. Similarly, Breakfast Princess has one of my favorite princess designs. The crew couldn’t decide whether to go with the drawing of Breakfast Princess or of what became Toast Princess, so they put them both in and made them sisters. Good solution! They’re eating breakfast in bed and it looks so relaxing. I love the oranges hanging in their bedroom. It’s just one scene and it left me dying for an episode set there. Ice King breaks in, which seems pretty routine for them. Breakfast Princess just calmly calls Finn. It’s funny how Finn and Jake immediately burst through the door. Finn accuses Ice King of using a love potion, a reference to “Ricardio the Heart Guy.” Finn and Jake view Ice King as more of a nuisance than a villain after the season two finale. They treat him like a misbehaving kid, grounding him instead of beating him up like we’re used to. Their argument over being grounded, with escalating punishments, is hilarious. Finn’s exaggerated smug expression when he threatens to increase the punishment to four weeks is the funniest Finn expression in the series. I love how Ice King takes the grounding seriously. Finn calls him “bubble butt”, and Ice King runs off with a shot of his big blueberry-looking buttcheeks.

I love Ice King throwing a temper tantrum back at his castle. Even in his anger, having to obey Finn and Jake’s punishment is just a given for him. He is fine with hitting them, as long as he stays grounded like he was told. He turns on his holographic computer, which has a pear logo. Ooo must have misinterpreted whatever records of Apple products they still have as a pear. That or Adventure Time takes place in the iCarly/Victorious universe. Ice King searches for a hitman online, wanting them to just literally hit Finn and Jake. He doesn’t know what a hitman is. No other episode portrays Ice King as stupid as this one. It’s an interesting revelation that Ooo has the internet, something that stays consistent. With how easy it is to find hitmen, the internet must be the wild west in Ooo. I can buy that as I doubt Ooo has an international body regulating the internet. Or Ice King just knows how to access the dark web. He hires Scorcher, another amazing new character design. Ice King is way out of depth interacting with someone like this.

Scorcher sets fire to the treehouse. Finn and Jake are making meat-filled sandwiches that look even better than the breakfast at the beginning. They got their meat from the fabled Meat Man, a character that we never see, which is probably for the best. Ice King puts out the fire, and I like how devastated Jake is at his sandwich being frozen in ice, and how angry Finn is at such a horrible tragedy Ice King brought upon Jake. Ice King still doesn’t understand that Scorcher is trying to kill Finn and Jake. He does not want them dead, he’s come a long way from his threats of murder in “Prisoners of Love”. Scorcher tries again while Finn and Jake are sleeping. Eating Meat Man’s meat is really weighing on Jake’s conscious. He has a guilt dream about it. Scorcher’s ability to transform into deadly smoke is really cool. He tries to suffocate Finn and Jake until Ice King again saves them.

Ice King pulls out a big cash money wad to pay Scorcher not to kill Finn and Jake. Scorcher burns it. He never asks for payment. He doesn’t give a shit about money, he does this for sport. He doesn’t speak, but you can tell he goes by a strict code. He made a signed contract with Ice King to not stop until Finn and Jake are dead. Ice King offers a talking reindeer head to hang, another amazing joke, this one much more random. Next he offers night-vision x-ray goggles “for when you have a lady houseguest”. The combination of both night-vision and x-ray is funny, as is Ice King using it to see women naked. Pretty sure you would only see their skeleton, but maybe that’d still be a turn-on for Ice King. He offers to let Scorcher kill his least favorite princesses instead. It makes sense LSP is one of them, as he didn’t like her lumps in “Loyalty to the King.” The picture of her looks derpy, she has more lumps than that! Scorcher views these attempts as nothing but insulting bribes. Ice King getting away by faking a leg cramp is another great joke. 

Hiring a hitman hitman is a brilliantly funny concept. Blastronaut charges nearly a hundred dollars. No idea where Ice King gets his money from. I love how Blastronaut blasts through guns blazing and Scorcher just calmly defeats him with a single slice. He looks like the protagonist of an old arcade game. But, it turns out he’s just a tiny, naked goblin in a suit. Ice King still has no idea who he’s dealing with, and tries to pull the ol’ “look over there!” trick. Ice King proclaims that somebody got hit in the “boingloings”, Ooo terminology for balls. It took the writers a long time to get this line past Cartoon Network. They went from using the word “balls”, to “nuts”, to “cashews”, and finally settled on the funniest version of the line anyway. It’s a very funny behind-the scenes story, just as funny as the episode itself.

I love the look on Jake’s face as he stares outside the window, having an existential crisis. He decides to stop eating Meat Man. The running gag about Meat Man is great. It’s totally unnecessary as this episode is funny enough as is, but it adds yet another great element to this one. Ice King comes to warn Finn and Jake about Scorcher. It’s quite the sign of development that he’s willing to swallow his pride in order to protect them. I like how Ice King saying “I hired a guy to kill you by accident” is just framed as a kid confessing to their parents that they did something naughty. Jake’s sarcasm is great, “Good job. Good job, the Ice King.” 

Scorcher chases Finn, Jake, and Ice King. It’s cool to see the three of them working together again. Scorcher almost kills Finn and Jake again, but Ice King blocks the attack. Even though it's his fault, Ice King saved their lives multiple times this episode. Scorcher is one of the strongest characters in the series, very few villains have managed that. Ice King proposes to freeze Finn and Jake to fake their death. They are having none of that idea, but it seems more like they think Ice King is too incompetent to not accidentally kill them, which is totally fair. I wouldn’t trust season 9 Ice King with my life. He freezes them anyway. It’s a good plan, and the first intelligent thing Ice King has done all-episode. I like Ice King aggressively hitting and kicking Finn and Jake while yelling “dead” to convince Scorcher. Convinced, he leaves. I would have liked a sequel episode where Scorcher finds out they are still alive because I really like him and he’s an actually intimidating threat. A sequel episode probably would have paled in comparison to this one though. It ends with Ice King sitting on Finn and Jake, finally being the one grounding them. Who knows how long he kept them like that. He probably got bored in a couple minutes and unfroze them, but it’s a great note to end on.

So, this one’s pretty great and memorable. It’s one of the funniest episodes, if not the funniest, in the series. It’s just nonstop jokes that all hit. Ice King has so many amazing lines (although the comedy isn’t limited to him). Even though I mentioned a lot of the jokes, there’s still plenty more great ones I didn’t (Ice King saying your eyeballs explode when you’re burned alive). There’s new amazing character designs, including an awesome villain. It’s also the first episode entirely from the point of view of a character other than Finn or Jake, and Ice King works wonders in that role. 

Grade: A

[choicesgodfanatic]

Falling in Grace Chap one

Normal Pov

It began to pour Rain Outside of the Hotel,Tom washes the glass putting it away. "Just another day" He sighs.

He brushed his purple spikey hair and The Hotel door swings open. Small foot steps as a small figure walks in the middle of the hotel lobby.

"Hello is anyone there?" The small figure looks to be a small woman with red hair, a frilly pink dress and one Eye. Tom raised a brow as he looks her over. "I'm the only one here. I'm this hotels bartender and manager"

The woman smiles and puts the flyer onto the table in front of him. "I want to be A maid. " She excitedly jump up and down As Tom looks at her resume. "Nifty age 26, Known to be a germaphobe" he looks over at her.

Nifty nods "I'm good at cleaning anything" Her grin widens "That and I enjoy danger" she chuckles. Tom puts her resume and flier down and nods. "ok uniform is upstairs. And Room Five needs cleaning" Tom points upstairs.

Nifty nods Walking upstairs putting on a maid uniform, walking to room five with a cleaning cart she hears a Russian voice behind the room she supposed to clean "

boss, delo sdelano. tvoya zhena teper' vne polya zreniya" Nifty lays her hand on the knob slowly opening the door slightly, her eyes wonder to a blond girl on the floor. Her eyes rolled to the back of her Head. Nifty Gasps and The Russian Man turns to face her Pointing his gun at her.

He moves closer as nifty raises her arms gun at her face " You Came at a bad time little lady" The Russian Man says. He then hits her with the back of his gun. Nifty scream and closes her eyes.

Time skip five mins to Tom

Tom Finished stocking the wine glasses, A guy with shades and pink shirt and skinny jeans drink his Liquor. "Tom How long will you get An Employee" He asks shaking his wine glass.

Tom Pour him a glass of apple win "Bill you will be shocked. I actually hired a girl here. But it's been five minutes" Tom logs into his computer muttering 'she better not be slacking off' Turning the Camera onto Room Five his eyes widen. "What's with you? Seen a ghost?" Bill lays his head looking at Tom. Shaking his wine glass Tom shoves the drink to Bills chest Running upstairs. He grabs A Metal Bat.

Back To Nifty

Nifty wakes up tied with cable cords, she looks up blinking her One Eye. The male Russian Shark puffs his cigarette and looks at her "Da You are awake" he walks over. Nifty tries to shake away from the cable cords. "let me go!" She yells. The Shark laughs and rubs the cigarette on her cheek "No Can Do. You seen too much. I got to off you" Nifty spits on him and He raises his fist until a knock was heard from the door. "You are lucky I'm kind. Must be the pizza I ordered. Behave and it'll be your last meal" As the Russian Shark opens the door Tom hits his face with the metal bat. "Boris. I don't know your game but this ends now" Boris falls. His teeth bleeds as he looks up at Tom with anger "You Fucker!" The Shark Runs over to Tom and the two exchange blows the metal bat falling in front of nifty. She falls over rubbing the cable cord against the nails on the metal bat. Tom punches Boris as Boris is on top of him choking him. "The Boss will be-Ow!" Nifty Stabs a pair of Scissors on to Boris neck. The Shark gasps his eyes blood shot red as she Stabs him a couple Times. Boris takes a last of fresh air and dies.

Tom gets up dusting himself off picking up nifty from the body "Are you ok?" She nods and looks over at the blond woman. "Yeah but what was that about?" Tom shakes his head "That'll be another Time. We need To get rid of the bodies"

Nifty smiles And there was Another knock the door opens As the pizza man looks at the two dead bodies of Boris and the blond woman. Tom points a bat at him "You Forget a million Times A Day. Let's make sure This is one of them" The pizza guy raises his arms after dropping the pizza running away. Tom sighs "Clean Everything up" he then Eats a piece and frowns " Sardines Boris?! No wonder I hate you" he says walking away. Nifty begins to Clean and putting the bodies through acid.

She walks down stairs and see Tom sitting in front of the hotel sipping apple cider. "Are you ok boss?" She sits next to him.

" Yeah. You know. It's been years since the incident I had a employee. I think you'll be an excellent fit" He sips his apple cider.

Nifty squeals and hugs him.

A/N: Made chap one as long as I can. There's gonna be more I got episode two planned. It's gonna be great. N there will be more characters joining.