#apparently to these dudes short people just Don't Exist

[licorishh]

Well, ladies and extremely unobservant fools, here we have Fu Xuan herself saying she's an adult (even though it was already glaringly obvious). She's literally just short.

I wish that person on Pinterest who said "Fu Xuan is like twelve" a very CAN YOU READ???

[absentlyabbie]

okay i really tried to enjoy this la brea show i really did, i coulda got past the constant contrivances always making every plan go awry etc, but i cannot, CANNOT deal with this whack-ass take on wild animal behavior any further

if you dig this show i'm very happy for you but i gotta dip

[avatar-anna]

Rumors

so...i've had this concept rattling around in my brain, but i had no idea how to write it, so i used pictures instead. i definitely want to do more, but tumnlr only allows 10 pictures a post, so here's to hoping i remember to come back to this in the future!

yourinstagram

liked by taylorswift and 67,530 others

yourinstagram: had a very cool dude over today to make even cooler music

yoursistersinstagram: you let someone in the bat cave?!

y/nfan5: possible collab on the new album?

yourinstagram: more like i was helping someone with theirs ;))

harrystyles: Thank you for having me. X.

harryfan3: HARRY???

harryfan7: omgomgomgomgomg

y/nfan1: pls god let us have a harry and y/n collab on his next album i NEED it

harrystyles

liked by gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 2,233,781 others

harrystyles: HS3. Coming soon.

harryfan8: NEW ALBUM ALERT

harryfan11: HARRY YOU CANT JUST DROP SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT A RELEASE DATE

harryfan4: this has to be what he was working on with y/n right?

y/nfan3: i need them both on a song together

yourinstagram: had fun late night talking with you xx

y/nfan9: i'm sorry wHAT

harryfan5: is this flirting this sounds like flirting

harryfan13: honestly...here for it

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan7 and 4,320 others

y/nupdates: Y/n in a video for Vogue recently!

"A lot of people ask me how Harry Styles ended up recording at my house when we'd virtually never crossed paths before. It was actually Taylor (Swift) who kind of set the whole thing up. They spoke at the Grammys last year and she apparently gave him my number so we could work together...He called and asked if I was available to help with his album at all. At the time I was on the road, then working on stuff for the band, and it just kind of went back and forth for a few months while we tried to line up our schedules. Then I was done touring, but I was kind of in a weird state in life where I didn't want to leave the house or hang out with anyone. And I remember making up excuses because I wasn't really up to making myself presentable to a whole team of people I'd never met before and having our first meeting be this huge thing. I'd basically built it all up in my head about how our ideas would clash and we wouldn't get along and I just kept telling him maybe some other time. Long story short, Harry showed up at my place a week later by himself with just a guitar, a notebook, and my favorite takeout order. We spent the whole day together working on a bunch of different stuff from themes to genres of music to sampling and mixing. And writing. Lots and lots of writing. And now he's a dear friend. He's so sweet and so talented. I wish him all the best with the new album."

y/nfan8: ok i'm glad it worked out and everything but imagine a virtual stranger showing up to your HOUSE?? like she said no and he basically forced her to write his album for her

y/nfan4: that's so real of her tbh to not want to leave her house

y/nfan2: y/n is notoriously introverted it makes sense

harryfan13: girl...

y/nfan7: i don't think it was that serious. and if she really didn't want him there she could've said no

harryfan13: and y/n literally called him a friend?? stop trying to start shit that doesn't exist

y/nfan7: of COURSE mother brought them together

harryfan17: i can't believe that's what harry and taylor were talking about in the video!

harryfan2: chill harry doesn't need to be in a relationship with every woman he's associated with

harryfan4: wait but wasn't y/n at that grammys too?

harryfan9: it was still covid it's possible their paths didn't cross

y/nfan19: wait what if he was too shy to go up to her??😭

harryfan4: i love that they're writing besties now but i think they'd be so cute together 🥹

hsupdates

liked by harryfan4 and 10,343 others

hsupdates: Harry about Y/n L/n for Rolling Stone:

"I've always admired (Y/n's) work. She and her band are incredibly talented, and are just so passionate about creating music. I wanted that same energy for my third album, the freedom to make whatever I want without any reservations, and I knew Y/n was the perfect addition to the team. It took some convincing, but once we kind of got started, we couldn't stop. As we've gotten to know each other these past few months, I not only respect her as a musician, but for the person she is as well. Her soul is one of a kind, and I feel like my album would be so different without her on it. So now not only do I have an album that I'm proud of and love, but I got an extraordinary friend out of it too."

harryfan9: so this is what people mean when they say platonic soulmates

y/nfan12: all we've gotten is crumbs and i'm already in love with their friendship. and the album of course

y/nfan2: i'm so interested to hear this album now. if y/n is on it it has to be good

harryfan3: "her soul is one of a kind?" if that's harry as a friend i don't think i can handle boyfriendrry😭

y/nfan7: i'm holding out hope for them honestly🤞🏼🤞🏼

liked by harrystyles and 23,724 others

yourinstagram

yourinstagram: you've fallen from the sky down to me, i see it in your face, i'm relief, i'm your summer girl

y/nfan17: shut up are those song lyrics??

yourbandinstagram: the tears behind your dark sunglasses, the fears inside your heart as deep as gashes🎶🎶

y/nfan17: HOLY SHIT those ARE lyrics!

y/nfan6: haven't even heard the song and i know the girls have done it again

harryfan4: could it...could it be about harry?

y/nfan8: you're grasping at straws

harryfan12: are they? they've been spotted together all over LA

harrystyles: ☀️☀️

y/nfan8: as friends. friends can hang out can't they?

harryfan3: new music from harry AND y/n? we're about to be fed y'all

harryfan10: THEY REALLY ARE BESTIES

y/nfan2: i bet they collaborated on this song together

Interviewer (I): What's one memory or experience you can share from making this album? Any trips to Japan or Jamaica?

Harry (H): We stayed in Los Angeles mostly for this one. But erm...in terms of a specific memory...I would say that while I was working with Y/n, one of the tracks was actually inspired by her cat.

I: Really?

H: Yeah. Whenever it did something to annoy Y/n, which was quite often, she'd call her a little freak. The song's obviously not about the cat, but the phrase was in my head and yeah. Things just kind of...snowballed from there.

I: The sound that Y/n's band has is more rock centric, a similar sound to your first album. Is that what we can expect for your third studio album?

I: You've become quite close to Y/n L/n it seems like.

H: Not necessarily. Y/n and I collaborated, but she also let me take the reins in terms of sound. She had opinions of course and we would bounce ideas off of each other...but she really just followed my lead and supported the vision I had. She is playing a majority of the instruments on the album, though.

H: It's hard not to.

I: How so?

I: It sounds like you could go on for quite some time about her.

H: She's just cool, you know? I was kind of intimidated when we met for the first time. She's quiet, but you never forget that she's in the room, you just want to go over and talk to her. Of course once you meet her she's incredibly kind and not at all intimidating, but still like chill and stuff. The first time we met we sat for an hour just talking about music we enjoyed and live shows we wanted to attend and things we learned while in lockdown. She's just effortlessly cool. An old soul, I guess. And somehow she translates that into her music. Her sisters, too. They're all just first-rate musicians.

H: Sorry. I kind of gushed for a minute there.

H: And the band. They're just so talented, you know?

harrystyles

liked by jeffazoff and 4,211,323 others

harrystyles: From start to finish, making this album has been such an incredible journey. It was so fun to try new things sonically while also making something that I'm one hundred percent proud of. I've never felt more myself while making music than I did while creating this album for all of you, and I have so many people to thank for that. Hopefully you know who you are. I love, love, love you.

harryfan16: 😭😭😭😭😭

harris_reed: little angel👼

harryfan3: WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU

yourinstagram: congratulations h. you deserve it.💐💐💐

harrystyles: I couldn't have done it without you💐

yourinstagram

liked by yourbandinstagram and 53,089 others

yourinstagram: for one night and one night only...but in all seriousness shout out to my friend and his incredible album. happy to have been a part of the magic :)))

harryfan13: HAPPY HARRY DAY!!!

harryfan4: is she in ny??

y/nfan7: yes! she was spotted with harry before the show today

harryfan9: they're literally so cute i love their friendship

harrystyles: You made the magic happen. Thank you for everything. X.

harryfan3: they're so...

y/nfan2: i genuinely think they like fucking with us bc i legitimately can't tell if they're dating or not

y/nfan7: at this point i don't even care i love whatever they're doing they both just seem so happy to be besties/lovers/collaborators and i love that for them

harryfan5: ^^

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan10 and 3,742 others

y/nupdates: Y/n performing Keep Driving onstage with Harry in NYC tonight at ONO!

y/nupdates: When he introduced her, he said: "Tonight is special in a lot of ways. I'm sharing my album with you for the first time, my family's here, my friends are here, and...a very good friend of mine is here to play a song with me tonight. This album wouldn't have been possible without her, so please give her as much love as you've given me. Y/n L/n, everybody!"

harryfan4: stop they're so close it hurts😭

y/nfan7: i was there they were staring at each other and smiling the whole time!

harryfan12: that's the one where he says choke her with a sea view!?

y/nfan7: YES AND I SWEAR HIS SMILE GOT BIGGER WHEN HE SANG THAT PART AND LOOKED AT HER LIKE HE FULLY HAD TO TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HER BC SHE WAS PLAYING THE DRUMS

harryfan3: i'm choosing to believe they're in love idc what anyone else says

hs/ynupdates

hs/ynupdates: Harry, Y/n, and her sisters in New York after ONO tonight! Apparently Harry and Y/n were standing and walking very close to each other. Like arms wrapped around each other close.

harryfan2: that could literally mean anything tho. they're good friends why wouldn't they walk next to each other?

y/nfan14: i feel like they don't know if they're dating or not at this point😅

y/nfan8: her sisters are so unserious i love it

y/nfan5: i love that they all showed up for harry🥹

yourbandinstagram

liked by taylorswift, harrystyles and 710,225 others

yourbandinstagram: Thanks for having us, London!

y/nfan1: i can't believe i got to see harry and y/n perform in ONE NIGHT

harryfan3: sending my love and my tears to everyone who got to experience this historic night

harrystyles: Thank you for taking the time to share the stage with me. X.

yourbandfan2: how do y'all always look so good 😭

I: So you opened for Harry Styles a few weeks ago and performed a song with him in New York.

Y/n: My sisters and I did, yeah.

I: How did that come about? Did your team call his team? Or was it more casual than that?

Y/n: Oh, definitely more casual. I think we were just hanging out together one morning and he kind of just suggested it. No bells and whistles or anything like that.

I: So can we expect (Your band) to join Harry on his upcoming tour, then?

Y/n: I don't think so. We're working on putting out a record of our own at the moment, but we do want to get back out on the road soon, but I will definitely be attending more of his shows in the future.

I: And what can we expect from this upcoming record? Did Harry help you the way you helped him out?

Y/n: I've sent him a couple things to listen to, and I value his opinion a lot, both as a friend and as an artist. He also showed me a couple records recently which kind of influenced how I approached some of the songs sonically. He's got a huge vinyl collection at his house. I'm honestly kind of jealous.

I: There's been some rumors running around that you and Harry are in a romantic relationship. Would you like to put any of those rumors to rest?

Y/n: I could see where people might think that. Harry's very affectionate by nature, and over the last couple of months we've become very close. He's not just someone I admire in the music industry, but as a person in general. I feel incredibly lucky to call him a friend. And a close one, at that.

I: So just a friend then?

Y/n: Yeah. Yeah, just a friend.

[denwritesandcries]

Like a Movie Scene – V.P

Pairing: van palmer x fem!reader

Summary: Van Palmer should come with a warning sign. She invades your life with her crooked smiles and stupid jokes and draws you into her orbit without even asking for permission, as if it were something destined to happen. Which, you assume, it probably is.

Word count: 7,1k.

Content: No crash!AU, cursing, mentions of homophobia (it’s the 90’s), friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, a little angst, shitty families, LOTS of movie references, the yjs being normal teenagers.

Note: Van is a flirty little shit but also a complete loser and we love her for that.

English is not my first language.

Van Palmer should come with a warning sign or at least a 'no returns' marked on the tag of her football jerseys.

You don't think it would have done any good, though. Van draws you into her orbit from the first moment you met, like a bright and warm sun; allowing you to exist steadily in her life even though, technically, she has invaded yours.

You suppose then, that you wouldn't have it any other way.

It's likely you guys would never have really spoken to each other if it weren't for a mix-up between your practice schedules and a stupid argument between your coaches.

You see, the track team – which you were part of – always had practice right after the football team, because Wiskayok High School barely had the structure to keep both a girls and boys football team running properly, let alone a decent space for the few other sports the small-town school offered. Your practices took place on the same days of the week and one after the other, always at the same time. It was the implicit rule: from 4:30 pm the field is yours.

Coach Martínez didn't seem to care, however, because there he was arguing with your coach. Since apparently football practice had run late and the girls just needed to train for an hour and a half.

Your coach wasn't having any of it – your time was already too short without these changes –, and now both men were in the middle of the field screaming in each other's faces while poor coach Scott tried to calm them down.

“Dude.” you recognize Natalie Scatorccio’s tired and rasp voice beside you: “They could just cancel and let us go.”

You and apparently most people there, if the expressions of annoyance and crossed arms were any indication, couldn't agree more.

"Right?" You said. “Look at them, you think they’re gonna fight?”

Nat let out an amused snort, “They’re going to eat Coach Ben alive, that’s what they’re gonna do.”

You would have said something else if it weren't for a third voice coming from right behind you:

“They're gonna kiss, look how close their faces are.” It was Van Palmer, the goalie, with red hair swinging in a ponytail and a smirk on her lips. She shook her head in mock disappointment and crossed her arms, pointing with her chin at the scene, “In front of us, kids? What a lack of professionalism.”

You choke on a laugh and her gaze snaps to you, her smile widening with something like satisfaction in her eyes. The attention made you nervous. You weren't used to interacting with Yellowjackets members other than Nat, who was easy to talk to and was your lab partner as well as sharing cigarettes at parties, meaning that talking to Van Palmer was a completely new territory.

You joke back insecurely: “At least you have real coaches. Ours is the art teacher.”

That made her let out an incredulous laugh and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel pleased about it. Like almost the entire school, you also had a crush on the Yellowjackets.

Your laughter died down just as Coach Scott ran across the field to the two mixed teams with the most genuine expression of exhaustion you've ever seen. “We decided to share the space," he says. And that's all. Your first interaction with Van: a conversation that lasted less than three minutes mocking your teachers. You would never expect it to evolve into anything beyond that.

It's strange trying to do your usual routine of running through the poorly painted banners around the pitch – which looked like it had never seen better days – with a game taking place just a few meters away from you and your teammates. The fear of getting hit in the face by a ball was embarrassing.

Yet, as you wait for the relay, your gaze tracks the girls in action. You don't know the names of most of them, but recognize Taissa and Shauna fighting over the ball at one end of the field, the confrontation seems a little too intense, which makes you a bit nervous and your eyes go straight to the nearest goal, coincidentally, is the one Van is defending.

You notice how beautiful she looks with her expression completely concentrated and hands resting on the knees, waiting to act. Shauna overtakes Taissa and kicks hard the ball towards the goal; Van grabs it as soon as she crosses the white line on the lawn.

A giggle escapes you as Shauna turns around in frustration and the ball bounces back into the field and Van and Tai share a wry smile. The goalie turns her attention away from the game for a moment to look around and you swear she's looking for something – or someone.

Your teacher calls signaling your turn and you leave your thoughts while you line up with some other teammates.

You can do your relay routine for exactly fifteen minutes before something goes wrong.

You run on autopilot, so used to it that it's practically a second nature, letting your gaze return to scanning the field with interest when one of the players tries to score again and Van throws herself against the ground to catch the ball with a stronger and clearly exaggerated movement compared to last time. You thought this would be a one-time thing, seeing as the way Jackie and Nat rolled their eyes at her from where they were off to the side blocking other girls, but it kept happening the entire time you spent running until it was time for your break.

You choke on the water you drink when you realize that Van is the one staring at you this time, hands resting on her thighs, face sweaty and red, as if she doesn't have a game to focus on.

Shit, you think. How are you going to keep your head in training now? You wonder what you would have done to get a Yellowjacket's attention so suddenly as you return to your line.

You resume your run at a pretty good pace despite the sudden nervousness, feeling a little more confident when you hear a loud “Come on guys, no one has beaten L/N’s time yet!” coming from your teacher.

And then you're approaching the curve flush with the football field, the curve that gives you the perfect view of the goal.

Van is there, of course, just throwing the ball downfield again. Van, who rests her hands on her hips and catches her breath when Coach Scott blows the whistle and tells that her team won the game. Van, who turns around just in time and sees you approaching. Van, who removes a strand of red hair from her face that has escaped the ponytail and gives you a malicious toothy smile. Van, who winks at you. Van, who makes you fall. Literally.

It's all so out of nowhere, so suddenly that your heart misses a beat and you miss a step, tripping over your own feet as if your legs forgot how to work properly, falling in the middle of the curve and getting in the way of your colleagues further back in the lanes next to your side

Shit. Holyshit. Fuck. You just fell in front of the entire football team.

One of your friends bends down next to you to help and asks what happened, you blame the laces of your sneakers that untied when you fell because any reason is less embarrassing than what actually happened.

Your knee is bleeding and one of your arms is scraped, so the coach decides to have pity and leave you on the bench until it's time to leave. You make your way there with your ears burning and your head down.

If Van had any kind of interest in you, it definitely disappeared after that.

You remain alone on the bench, avoiding looking anywhere for a long time until Misty Quigley appears at your side with things to bandage your wound and you happily let her fill the silence with whatever she wants to say for the next few minutes.

Your night is spent tossing and turning in bed over the shame you've experienced and the next day as you walk through the hallways, the possibility of the goalie talking to you again doesn't even cross your mind as the first classes go by like a blur.

And then you're at your lunch table waiting for Nat to show up to talk like she usually does when she doesn't disappear around school, but after a few minutes a head of red hair takes over your vision instead of the usual dyed blonde.

“What’s up?” Van is sitting next to you, with the same crooked smile and her cheek propped up in a fist.

“Uh, nothing much really.” You have no idea what is going on; she is sitting with you, smiling at you and talking to you. Why is she doing this? You can feel a few other people's eyes on you through the interaction.

She introduces herself, even though you already know who she is, holding out a hand for you to shake – they’re rough, you notice, with calluses adorning the fingers –, probably just so you can introduce yourself too. “I’m Van,” she says. And that’s it.

She’s been Van since the beginning. Not Vanessa Palmer or the Yellowjackets goalkeeper, just Van. She says it so matter-of-factly that it would simply sound wrong to call her anything else.

You engage in a conversation about anything and everything after you introduce yourself – just your nickname too. You assume Nat already told her your name at some point yesterday – speaking as if you already knew each other, and somehow it doesn't feel weird.

Your eyes end up focusing on a black-haired girl crying at a table on the other side of the cafeteria with another girl a little smaller than her. You don't know either of them, but you know that they are both on the main team too.

“Hey,” you point with your chin: “What’s up with her?”

Van finds the source of your attention and raises her eyebrows, “Oh, you mean Mari?”

You answer with a simple nod of your head and that's enough for Van to invade your personal space with a devilish expression and a mischievous smile.

“She had a bad break up.” Van says and you tilt your head at her.

“But was it that bad?” You arch an eyebrow, “People don’t cry in such full places over nothing.”

Van moves a little closer to you and lowers her voice conspiratorially, as if she’s telling you a very important secret: “She were dumped," and then a dramatic pause, “For the guy’s half-sister.”

"What?" Your jaw drops completely and Van nods her head.

“Lottie told me, she knows about these things.” Ahe rests her face in her hand again, “She said she caught them kissing at her last party, Mari must have known.”

“‘The fuck?” The shocked look you give her only seems to amuse her.

“Oh, she's crying right now but boy, she was mad as hell in our math class today.” Van blows an exaggerated raspberry, “I bet she'll end up coming up with an absurd plan to get revenge and burn down his house just like in She Devil if the story spread.”

It will definitely spread, you thought.

An unexpected giggle escaped your chest – you might have felt a little bad for talking shit about a girl you didn't even know later, but not now – and your gaze found Van's face again.

“Yeah.” You start, “Except she was replaced by the guy’s own sister– half-sister, whatever, instead of a famous writer.”

Her face lights up completely as she speaks, bright green eyes like those of an excited puppy.

“You like that movie?” She asks.

“I love that movie,” you correct, “It’s iconic and Meryl Streep looks good.”

"She does.”

This seems to completely cement Van's interest in you, because she continues to sit with you at lunch for the rest of the week. When Nat finally shows up, she arches an eyebrow, but doesn't question it.

You and Van get closer in a surprisingly short period of time, but the way she seems to settle into your life is gradual and your silly little crush on the goalie seems to get stronger without even realizing it. Waiting for your lunches in the cafeteria, conversations in the hallways, glances exchanged during physics class – since you sat too far away to really talk – and the exchange of silly words about movies you like.

You have the habit of going out for a run every weekend in the morning – it's not easy to keep the best time in the routines, after all – and one day you decide to change your route by pure coincidence to a longer one that ends up near one of the trailer parks in the city; the fact that Nat mentioned one day that she’s neighbors with a certain teammate has nothing to do with it.

It surprises you that Van is awake at 8 am on a Saturday, but you find her – by pure coincidence, nothing more than that – outside a sad trailer watering an even sadder small garden. When she sees you, your hair is a mess and breathing is a little out of step, and you give her an awkward wave as you catch your breath. It's the first time you've seen each other outside of school.

“You’re stalking me now, weirdo?” Her crooked smile tells you that there's no real bite behind it.

"No," You place your hands on your hips, kicking some loose pebbles on the floor with your sneakers. Yes, you liar, “I always run around here, how come we’ve never seen each other before?”

Fuck it, you think. If Van can just show up for you because she wants to, then you can do the same.

She seems happy to abandon her garden chores when you ask her to go for a walk and she agrees to make you company once there’s no running involved; a walk, because no one deserves to be running around like Rocky Balboa at this time of the morning.

You walk together side by side through the neighborhood with your shoulders brushing against each other as if you've done this many times before, Van whistling a random tune carelessly.

Talking to her when the initial nervousness passes is one of the easiest things you've ever done and you find yourself enjoying and listening to everything Van tells you. This potential friendship – maybe more. Maybe, just maybe – it's the most fun thing that's happened in your year so far.

Your walks together also become a habit after that. You just come back the next day and Van is there with a smile on her face, so you keep coming back and she keeps smiling.

You also start walking home after school. Neither of you have a car, so why not?

You crave her company and she craves yours, you stay for Van's training and she stays for yours – no one else on the teams has the energy to complain about exaggerated movements or stumbles on tracks – and then when you're ready, you head off to your ways together and it makes your heart warm every time.

Everything about Van just makes you want to know her even more; the way she gestures with her arms and declares with the utmost disgust how she keeps distance from any musical that isn’t animated – “But you only watched Cats!” “And that was enough!” –, they way she tells you about how she and Taissa are watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch every Friday, or how she makes fun of any weird thing Misty said during practice that week.

You listen and absorb everything with an stupid drunk smile on your face, letting her entwine your arms and chatter to her heart's content.

Keep talking, you want to say. I love your voice, seeing you happy makes me happy. Keep talking, keep talking, keep talking.

You invite her to your house for the first time under the pretext of studying, after she throws herself on the chair next to you with a tearful expression during physics class.

“I’m gonna fail,” she whines, banging her head dramatically against the open notebook on the table, “The teacher hates me.”

You start teasingly: “Maybe he would hate you a little less if you actually paid attention in his class.”

"I do!" Van protests. “It’s personal, he must think I’m strange or somethin’ and lower my grades for it.” She crosses her arms with a pout and a roll of eyes.

“Of course." You agree with an exaggerated nod, “And you, yourself, are strange and unusual.”

“Yes!” She exclaims, ignoring the looks she attracts, “But that’s not the point, don’t quote Beetlejuice to me now, woman, this is serious.”

“Oh, wow, okay then.” You shrug.

Van looks at you before resting her head on the table again. She seems so hopeless that you give in.

“Hey, c’mon,” you say, letting your hand rest on her hair and stroke it gently: “You can come to my house today. I’ll help you study for the next test.”

Van's shoulders tense suddenly and her head snaps up so fast it makes you jump back.

"Really?" Her eyes are wide, face as red as her hair: “I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

That's strange. Van is usually the one who makes you nervous, not the other way around.

“You won’t bother me at all,” you reply without giving it much thought, “There won’t be anyone at home anyway.”

And then there's silence, Van's face turns impossibly redder and after a second of confusion, you understand.

You just invited Van to your house. Alone. There is an innuendo there. Several possibilities that neither of you will mention, but that you both know are there.

Your face starts to heat up, so you clear your throat and stutter a confused “Are you coming then?”, because you can't let her realize what you just thought about.

Van responds with a squeaky “Okay, sure." and hurries back to her usual seat when class finally begins.

When you adjust yourself in the chair and think about finally releasing the breath you didn't realize you were holding, your gaze finds Lottie Matthews staring at you three seats away with her eyebrows raised. Shit.

Lottie says nothing, just wrinkles her nose contemplatively and faces forward, but she knows. She always knows. You feel your hands sweat and shake with nervousness at the prospect of becoming the new school gossip like Mari last month. The queer who fell too hard for a Yellowjacket only to get it wrong and ruin everything.

You shake your head. No, Lottie wouldn't do that. You weren't exactly friends, but she’s not mean, there was no reason for her to mess with you, your thoughts were just talking too loud. Plus, it's not like she actually saw anything. You didn't do anything forbidden. Friends go to each other's houses all the time. Your crush is not obvious.

That's stupid, you think, it doesn't matter. But you don't really believe it. Yes, it matters, at least in this little town at the end of the world.

You just hope you don't end up crying in the cafeteria too.

There is no training that day, so as soon as classes are over, you leave school together and make your way home. For the first time, the silence is awkward and makes you feel bad for making the invitation the wrong way. Maybe Van just doesn't swing that way and you made her uncomfortable somehow. It's a possibility; you're not exactly in the closet to the rest of the school.

Still, the way her hand brushes against yours gives you hope that this isn't the case.

When Van enters your house, the first thing she does is look around.

“Wow,” she begins. “Its really…”

“Small?” You complete, feeling somewhat conscious. Your house wasn't a trailer, but it wasn't anything compared to the houses of Van's cool friends. Definitely nothing like Lottie or Jackie.

“Empty.” She corrects.

Huh. It's true, your house was praticly always empty, not only because your parents spent as much time as they could out of it, pretending they didn't have a kid to still take care of, but also because of the lack of furniture and personality. It didn't seem like a cozy place to a family live. As a whole, it could be really lonely most of the time. Van seems to have noticed this with a single glance.

You choose to ignore the comment, suddenly thinking that this might end up becoming too intimate. In a vulnerable way.

When Van enters your bedroom for the first time, she gives the place the same curious look as the rest of the house, but her jaw quickly drops.

“You got a TV in your room?” She sounds completely shocked.

“Yeah.” You snort in amusement, “My uncle runs an appliance store, he fixed one that no one picked up last summer, so now it’s mine.”

Van still looks very impressed as her eyes roam the rest of the room. Your bedroom was, perhaps, the only place in the house where someone actually seemed to live. Posters and photos adorned the colorful walls and it seemed like every little thing in the room was directly a part of you, from an old stuffed animal on one of the shelves to the small pile of messy clothes on the chair next to the study table because you weren't planning on receiving no one to remember to put it away.

The tension from before seems to be dissipating and you can see from the expression on her face the exact moment Van notices your small VHS collection up ahead.

“Okay. That's it. We're only hanging out here from now.”

And that awkward moment passes completely.

In a matter of minutes you both are comfortable in your bed with books and notebooks spread around, after convincing Van to start studying with the promise that she could choose whatever movie she wanted for you to watch when you were finished.

Van seems to dedicate herself twice as much, eager to fulfill the agreement and the hours pass quickly as she understands the concepts you explain about the subject and then all you have to do is say that it's time for a break for her to jump out of bed with a smile from ear to ear and choose a movie.

She puffs out her chest holding the tape in her hands and proudly declares that you're watching Jurassic Park and you don't even think to question it when you return the smile and takes on the task of making popcorn.

Van ends up leaning against you throughout the movie, reciting all the lines from memory along with the characters close to your ear – she knows all of them – and your heart remains racing with blood rushing in your ears until she leaves.

The two of you keep hanging out at your house again and again, just like she said it would be. Sometimes you study or watch something together, but most of the time Van simply keeps you company while you do your chores around the house, following you around like a puppy while you cook or do the laundry. Your home has never been so fulled or welcoming.

You go home after classes and practice – occasionally with Nat in tow – and stay together until it's late and dark, every now and then you say that she could just sleep over as a joke, but she never accepts it. You gulps the pang of sadness and rejection each time it happens.

And you guys talk a lot. You've never been so delighted to hear someone blab about anything.

Van spends days talking about how excited she is for summer while helping you chop the things for dinner. She and Natalie always get jobs together and she’s dying to buy a car – “You’re the runner here, lady, not me.” –, an old dark green pickup truck. She shows you the leaflet with a smile so proud that you don't have the courage to admit that you thought the thing was horrible; she tells you about how she wears the clothes of her older brother who apparently left town as soon as he finished school while helping you fold the freshly washed clothes, some of her own included.

It's so domestic that you wonder why this didn't happen sooner, depriving either of you of a routine together like this for so long seemed mean.

One night you’re sleeping soundly when you are startled awake by a loud knock on your window and you turn to find a face pressed against the glass. You almost have a heart attack.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Van!”

She's standing there with a pout and big eyes, pointing at the lock and you consider leaving her outside for the fright she got you. One look at the alarm clock on the table next to the bed tells you that it's already past 2:00 am.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, your voice rasp and tired from sleep, letting her come in, but only because you don't want her to get a cold outside.

Van sneaks into the room, suddenly shy, playing with the hem of the oversized t-shirt she's wearing and avoiding your eyes. She gives you an awkward smile.

“I was just wondering if we could have that sleepover today?”

She looks upset. Something happend. Something that upset her enough that she decided to run to your home in the middle of the night.

“Van,” your expression softened, worry flooding your voice, “Are you okay?”

“Yep.” She clicked her tongue, still not looking at you in the eye.

Okay, you won't get anything out of it then. Van likes to talk, but not when it comes to problems like this. Problems at home.

The thing is that you and Van have a lot in common, like your dubious sense of humor and your love for movies, but are opposites in many others; the main one: where your house is always empty, hers is always full. Full of people who take away the smile that you always try hard to keep on her face.

“Okay." You sigh, taking her hand and making your way to the messed bed, “Let’s get some sleep then.”

“Oh.” She looks even more embarrassed, her sweaty hand in yours, “I can take the couch or the floor. I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry.”

You let out an outraged huff. “You run to my house, climb in through my window, ask me to have a sleepover and now you want to sleep on the floor?”

She drags her feet on the floor, “...Yeah?”

You choose to ignore her answer, practically dragging her over to the bed and making her lie down. When she does, Van moves to the other side of the mattress, clearly trying her best not to disturb you, but in a fit of courage and exhaustion, you wrap an arm around her and press her against your chest. She lets out a squeak of surprise at the action.

“Go to sleep, Van.” You mumble against the back of her neck, burying your face in her thick hair.

Her body is still tense against yours, but Van allows one hand to rest on the arm you keep around her waist.

You lose count of how long you spend lying awake in silence cohabiting in each other's space, but when you wake up in the morning, Van is still asleep, her hand never leaving your arm.

You guys don't talk about it and you never find out what really happened to make her feel so bad that day, but Van shows up more often to stay the night. She never tells you when she's coming and you get scared every time when you hear the knocking on the window – you swear she does it on purpose, that little smartass.

You realize that you really love her, not just as a silly high school crush, in the middle of a hot May. When Van makes you stand in the line at the cinema ticket office for two and a half hours and miss the day of school to get tickets to watch Jurassic Park - The Lost World. Because if you saw the first one together then you should see the second one too, obviously.

You're sure you wouldn't put yourself through this for anyone else – but don't let Natalie know that.

The whole situation feels a lot like a date and you try to ignore the anxiety that washes over you as you rummage through your closet for an outfit that you think is good enough for the night. The way Van's jaw drops when she looks at you when she meets you at the front door makes the effort completely worth it.

She spends the entire movie almost bouncing in her seat with excitement and swearing at the parts that don't make sense. Because apparently the movie is also really bad, even though she's so happy watching it, and you manage to be bold enough to hide your face on her shoulder during the “scary” parts and leave your head resting there until the end.

You're not proud at all to say you spent seven bucks on a squeezy dinosaur for her on the way back, but it's your senior year, damn it, let the girl have fun with her silly toy before college.

You go back home – ‘home’ you think now, not ‘your house’. Your home. Your home with Van. – with her ranting about special effects and scenes you don't remember because you spent more time looking at her than the screen and you end up on the balcony before you know it.

“That was so good.” Van is just inches away from you, looking at you with bright eyes full of happiness; your hands are sweaty, so you put them in your pockets so she doesn't notice.

“Yeah, it really was.” You return with a playful smile, “Even though you convinced me to spend hours under the sun for it.”

“Hey!” She protests, moving impossibly closer, “What would the experience be worth without a little effort, huh?”

“Sure.” You giggle.

She's so pretty, you think. Hair down and a black jacket draped over her shoulders, looking at you as if she actually saw you. Knows you. I want to kiss her.

“You had fun today?” Van asks, unable to avoid the small tone of doubt that escapes her voice.

I want you to kiss me, you think.

“Yes,” you answer instead, “Yes, I did.”

One night Van simply comes in through your window and you don't even react anymore, leaning into her body under the covers.

“You gotta stop coming in through my window,” you grumble.

“Then stop leaving it open,” she huffs, “Someone might break in, you know that?”

You can feel her smile against your neck and you're about to fall asleep again when you hear her voice whispering:

“You’re gonna go to my games, now that we actually have a chance to go to the nationals, right?”

“Of course,” you mumble with a comforting pat of her hand on your stomach, “I’ll be the first one in the stands cheering you on. You’ll be embarrassed of me.”

Van buries her face in your shoulder, “Good.”

You get sick the exact same week that her last game until the nationals happens, lamenting the stupid flu that left you feverish and stuck at home for days.

You can't go to school and Van can't come to see you because Coach Martinez has increased the training routine as the team advances in the championship. You assume it must be really tiring because Van doesn't show up at night either. It's embarrassing the way you can't sleep properly without her.

The worst of all: you lose Van's game.

You resign yourself to spending the afternoon on the couch brooding in remorse until you hear a knock on the door.

Coming across Van's sad face with her clearly trying not to cry was not what you expected when you opened the door, knowing for sure that you would only be greeted later – probably after a victory party – with excited screams and bright little dog eyes asking for help to pack her bags.

"We lost." She says, eyes glued on the carpet.

“Oh." You say stupidly, “Oh, dear.”

Your voice seems to turn a switch inside her, because Van lifts her head to you with her lips trembling and the next moment you two are on the couch with her practically sprawled on your lap and crying. Crying hard. You've never seen her like this before.

You hear something about Jackie hitting the post at the last moment as she sobs, but what seems to make her really upset are the balls she couldn't save during the game. Like it would’ve make difference.

Comforting was never really your strong suit, you can't say you're really upset that the Yellowjackets lost, the idea of having Van so far away from you even for a few days didn't please you at all. A bad feeling in your chest told you that something could go wrong.

“Well,” you run your fingers up and down her back, “You know one good thing about this? We can go to Homecoming now.”

Her breathing hitches, but if Van notices how you say 'we' instead of 'you' she doesn't say anything.

She's on your lap, nose close to yours, eyes swollen with tears but with the same look from that night at the movies, the one that makes your hands sweat and leaves your heart weak.

Unlike the movies, however, she kisses you. Like, she actually moves forward and kisses you.

Her lips are wet and soft against yours and you tilt your head to pursue them only for her to pull away with a panicked expression.

"I'm sorry!" Van exclaims, scooting toward the door as if her skin had burned: “I’m sorry! I– I shouldn’t– I’ll see you at school.”

And then she leaves. You don't even have time to react, she runs out the door and gets into that horrible pickup truck – which she had parked in the driveway for the first time less than two weeks ago, wanting to take you for a ride to celebrate the purchase – and you're left standing in the doorway like an idiot after the car disappears from your vision, as if you were waiting for her to come back – you were.

You don't see her at school for the rest of the week. She doesn't show up in class or practice and she certainly doesn't show up at your house, Van is avoiding you and it's so obvious that you feel like crying the entire time you're there, trying to catch a glimpse of her through the halls.

Fuck. You knew this would happen, that you would screw up and make the person you care about the most hate you.

You huff in frustration, letting your head fall against the table feeling someone's gaze on you, someone who isn't Van.

Lottie Matthews isn't skipping physics class, she has no reason to be, so you shouldn't have freaked out as much as you did when you looked up and saw her towering over you next to your desk.

“Shit–” You gasp, jumping back in your seat and almost hitting her chin.

Lottie tilts her head, completely unfazed, with a look of false innocence and curiosity on her face. The look of someone in search of an information.

The vision of Mari crying at the beginning of the year comes back to your mind and a shiver with a line of sweat runs down your spine. Oh no.

“Did you guys break up?” She asks and it's the last thing you expected.

“What?”

Lottie sits next to you, smoothing her skirt over her legs, completely at ease.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” she starts with an anxious air, “But please do 'cause I really want to know.”

"Know what?" God, your head is already hurting from this conversation.

Lottie seems to realize that your confusion is genuine, because she stops and frowns at you.

“Didn’t you and Van break up? I thought you were together.”

What the fuck?

"...No? We’re not?”

“Are you asking me?” Lottie arches an eyebrow, also confused.

"No." You clear your throat and roll your tense shoulders, “We’re not.”

“Oh,” she doesn’t seem to know what to say after that, strangely disappointed – just like you.

The period passes with the two of you in an awkward, resigned silence and as you're leaving, Lottie follows you down the halls, attracting glances as you pass by, which was the last thing you wanted at the moment.

“What now?” You sigh.

“I think you should talk to her and sort things out.” Lottie says, “She seems so sad lately, without her usual sparkle.”

You could understand where Lottie was coming from, seeing Van upset was truly heartbreaking, but you couldn't help the bitter pang in your chest. She ran away after the kiss, not you. The kiss she gave you.

“She’s hiding from me." You admit begrudgingly, “Where else could I talk to her, anyway?”

“In the Homecoming, of course!” Lottie nods at you sagely, as if couldn't be more obvious.

“Of course.” You agree, because, the hell, why not?

The Homecoming is on the weekend, the same weekend the team was supposed to be away for the nationals, which must be why the girls are there, to try and lift their spirits.

You recognize Jackie talking excited to Taissa about something near the tables at the back of the gym, next to a grumpy Shauna with a glass of punch in a hand and the other placed on her waist – in a definitely more then friendly way –, but no sign of of Van in sight.

You end up outside with Natalie, smoking against a wall, as always happen at every party you're at together. She's telling you about how she saw Jeff and Randy with a bottle of liquor before coming in and that they would probably baptize the punch, you both talked about ratting them out to one of the teachers in charge after sneaking a few cups and you probably would’ve done that if Lottie hadn't joined you – coming from who knows where – to ask for a cigarette too.

Nat joked about how it probably wasn't like the expensive brands she seemed to prefer at her parties, but she handed one over without a hitch and the three of you sat there, looking up at the dark and starry sky for a moment.

“You haven’t seen her yet?” Lottie breaks the silence, casually breathing in the smoke.

Nat looks at you sideways and all you do is shrug, not wanting to admit the defeat.

“You should try it near the stands.” She declares.

“What are you, a psychic or something?” You scoff, but go anyway because like Van said, Lottie knows about these things.

She is there. Of course she is. Sitting in the stands staring out at the empty field, wearing a light blue suit with a white shirt and a matching shiny tie that you have no idea where she could have gotten, because there's no way her mom would have let her buy it.

Van notices you approaching by the sound of your footsteps on the ground, her head turning to watch you and for a moment you're afraid she'll run away again.

She doesn't, so you approach, trying your best not to run towards her.

“I gotta quit smoking soon,” you say, stepping on the cigarette your hand was holding and making an overly dramatic effort to sit next to her with heavy breaths, “Or I’ll end up being kicked of track ‘till year is finished.”

Van snorts, “Right, Ponyboy Curtis.”

For a moment it's like anything hasn’t changed between you both, you bet that if you tried with conviction you could almost pretend that nothing had happened. Almost.

“You ran away from me." You say.

“I did.” Van lowers her head, quietly. Embarrassed. You’re not sure of what exacly.

"Why?" You ask, because that's the question that's been running through your mind for days.

“I–” Van looks away from you, “I thought you wouldn't want that.”

“And I thought you knew how much I wanted it." You say and Van lifts her head to stare at you with wide, hopefully eyes, “What do you want, Van?”

Her jaw drops and she looks like she was expecting everything but that, her hands twitch on her thighs, as if she wants to reach you.

“You look so beautiful right now." She sighs softly before steadying her voice, “You look so beautiful that I want to kiss you again.”

"Do it."

And she does, hard and desperate, crushing her nose against yours, as if she's hungry and can't get enough; you wrap your arms around her, hands touching her with the same need.

The lack of air is too much, so Van pulls away from you to immediately start distributing quick kisses down your neck, as if it could all disappear in a second, becoming confident when you tilt your head to grant her more access and only stopping after the hiss that you let go because she bites.

“So…” she laughs nervously, “What now?”

"Now?" You’re out of breath, “Well, can we go back inside and help Nat steal liquour to screw with Jeff and Randy or…”

"Or?" Van arches an eyebrow in amusement.

“We can go home and I can show you how much I missed you.” You shrug, casually tightening your hands on her waist.

“Hm,” she pretends to think about it, “I guess I like the first option better.”

Van laughs at the sound of your offended squeal and avoids the slap you try to give her shoulder.

“Careful, baby,” she intertwines your hand with hers, “I’m gonna start to think that you love me.”

“Oh, you better know that.”

You pull her by her stupid shiny tie and kiss her when she laughs again and let Van guide you to that hideous truck staggering laughing through the crowd of students.

Yeah, you think. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[bestworstcase]

You ain't wrong about fndm's lady/dude crit imbalance. I've noticed so much whataboutism & overlapping insistence that Oz/Qrow/Tai did their absolute best given [magic special forces duties], [hell world full of hell beasts] and/or [Salem/Raven's Selfish Dippage/Supermom's Loss], often with a side of 'you're just being blinkered stans who can't accept when ur waifu mains have flaws that need a-fixin' or should Get Over Themselves & Stick With The Program'. I mean, no denying the STRQ guys would be leagues less dysfunctional were it not for their situation's unique pressures and the immortals' contributions thereof (ditto for Ozlem thanks to the Bros), but I still don't think that causality chain fully corroborates this 'naught but vindicated put-upon sensei figures, the Bad Moms Doing Badness exonerate everything, it's Just How This World Works, we've been over this, STFU already' perspective nursed by long-haul fanposters and tons of general watchers.

truly. although i will say i Don’t think it’s fair to judge qrow as a parent because he wasn’t one, in either the biological sense (uncle) or legal (did not have custody) or familial (not a member of the household). so while certainly there are things he could have done better (gotten sober) (quit taking missions from oz for the sake of being around more to help out) (confronted tai about the wagon incident—tho we don’t know he didn’t do that tbf) short of either moving in to take over parenting or like flat out getting whatever passes for child services involved to force tai to get help or foster the girls himself for a while qrow didn’t really have a lot of material power in this situation. & both options he did have posed real risks (misfortune + the compounding trauma of a messy custody fight while everyone was still grieving summer). so

but yeah what gets me is "they really did try their best" and "their best was in fact inadequate and caused lasting harm" are not incompatible statements. Sometimes Your Best Sucks. that’s life. & sometimes when you’re deep in the throes of a traumatic situation or a depressive episode or alcoholism or what the fuck ever You Will Hurt People because you Don’t have the capacity to support others or practice empathy; you can’t draw from an empty well. that’s life!

it’s just also where the "intentions don’t negate consequences" principle applies; qrow trying to Be There for his nieces whilst struggling with alcoholism doesn’t make the harm done by his alcoholic behavior not have happened, tai’s depression doesn’t make neglect not neglectful, salem… existing at all doesn’t justify the choice to rely almost solely on child soldiers to defend his relics. etc

this is also the most compelling thing to me abt tai (potentially) staying near vale because of summer, at the expense of his kids; as soon as you bring "summer is alive and well and chose to leave him" into this equation you bring the implicit blame to the surface: is this woman responsible for his actions because she chose to end their relationship?

consider that the one thing we know with 100% certainty about these two is that summer did not trust him with her real self; her reaction to hearing him down the stairs is.

this, followed by slipping on a mask and lying through her teeth with practiced ease. (in comparison, when ruby is feeling acutely distressed she shuts down and gets quiet, which has the effect of making her distress visible but also small and easy to ignore or easily shunted aside by louder more apparently urgent problems. ruby tries to put on a happy face most of the time, but when she’s Feeling Bad the best she can do is small, strained smiles. summer turns around with a relaxed grin and makes a casual joke at ozpin’s expense.)

so—yang remembers "supermom" and ruby thinks her dad "misses adventuring with [summer]" and for eight volumes there isn’t anything to contradict this impression the girls have that their parents were deeply in love and happy with each other… and then our introduction to the Real Summer Rose is:

reading bedtime stories to her girls

the lies come out of her so easily!

she planned her rogue mission in secret with raven, who also left tai for hitherto unknown reasons that are now strongly implied to be that she felt like a failure as a wife and mother.

leaving aside the question of why summer chose to join salem (and why she faked her own death to do it)… this does not imply a happy or functional relationship. if nothing else whatever problem summer had that drove her to plan this suicide mission with raven was something that she, for whatever reason, did not feel like she could bring to her spouse/partner—and that in itself speaks to a fundamental absence of trust, but taken in conjunction with a) this Extremely well-practiced emotional disappearing act and b) how tai handles emotional vulnerability in v4 (NOT WELL!) it’s kinda…

well. the blacksmith shows this to ruby then remarks "maybe you’re not the only one who has felt the weight of others’ expectations. like alyx, like your mother," and the only character summer performs for in this flashback is. tai.

and—while the silver eyed warrior paragon-hero fairytale cult nonsense was undoubtedly the greater burden—i think the narrative is inviting the question here of to what extent perfect mother/perfect wife was one of those expectations, to what extent Raven Leaving was a shadow cast over summer’s relationship with taiyang, and how she might feel about all this with fourteen years of hindsight.

wrapping back around to the point about tai and culpability, you have on the one hand this implicit blame put on summer for tai having neglected the children after she left him and on the other this nascent question rising to the surface of: was summer even happy in this relationship, if she felt like she had to perform happiness often enough for it to be this easy? there’s the asterisk of course that what we see in this flashback was outside of the ordinary but the ease and confidence with which she slips on that mask bespeaks habit.

so tai fourteen years later is still pining for this partnership in which summer may or may not have felt an expectation to Be Happy (perfect huntress, perfect mother, perfect wife) and in which she certainly did not feel like she could bring her Desperate Suicide Mission Problems to her partner… and his parental neglect is all rooted directly in the intensity of his anguish after she left him… and she’s spent those fourteen years with salem and if they’ve not already crossed paths offscreen they’re certain to do so now that tai is like alone on patch with salem / summer / cinder for neighbors.

there’s an interesting reckoning being set up here, i think, with the unspoken implication that summer was the load-bearing pillar in this family and by removing herself from it she Made tai into a neglectful father—that’s the family narrative, dad shut down after mom left (died), but the narrative arc is beginning to culminate with "okay, why did mom leave?" and it seems to me that the natural trajectory from there is to really interrogate that question of blame.

[calmasyoghurt]

Back for day 2 of joker out pride project. Before this chapter begins I want to do an extra disclaimer. I’m writing Kris as trans (ftm) in this fic. But Kris doesn’t know that yet. Kris won’t know until day 7 or something. I’m not ftm, so if I write something that would not happen, then please let me know how I can change it.

Anyways, chapter 2 below and on my ao3.

June 2nd, promt 4. Queer people exist?

Kris is not like the other girls in her class. Kris wears shorts instead of skirts in the summer. She plays football and tag instead of family and restaurant during recess. She plays guitar instead of clarinet, flute, or piano. Kris doesn't want to be like the other girls. One time she asked her mum if she could cut her hair short like a boy. When she arrived at school the next day, the other girls started calling her a boy, and secretly it made her happy. She's always liked being called a boy. Not that she is one, of course she isn't.

But one of those people that thinks she's a boy stands out. Kris is 13, and is doing everything to hide the fact that her breasts started growing last year. When she enters her guitar teachers classroom, there's a boy sitting in one of the chairs with a guitar in his lap. Kris looks at the clock on the wall. She is five minutes early, but the class before hers should have ended ten minutes ago. So who is this boy, and what is he doing here? As if on queue, the boy starts speaking.

“Hey, I'm Jan. Apparently I'm here because we would sound good playing together or something”.

The teacher enters the room just as this Jan guy finishes his sentence. He, their teacher, says he would like to hear them play together just this once. When they do, it sounds amazing, and it's decided they'll have joint lessons from now on.

When the lesson is done Jan tries to start a conversation.

“Kris, huh? Is that short for anything? Let me guess, Kristoffer?”

Kris is sure he's joking because sure, she hasn't said that much during the lesson, but he must have heard she doesn't have a guy's voice.

“Uhm, no. It’s short for, well, Kristina” Kris answers.

“Huh. You sure?” Jan says and the confusion must be visible on Kris' face because then he says “Never mind. My bus doesn't leave for another hour, I'll buy you tea at the café”.

When, 15 minutes later, they're sitting at a café table with a mug each, Kris can't help to wonder if Jan has thought this as some kind of date. She hopes he hasn’t. But, once again, it's as if Jan can read Kris' mind, because not even a minute later, he starts speaking again.

“This isn't a date or anything, right? Like, we're just hanging out? As friends?” and Kris can see a bit of relief in Jan's face when she agrees with him. ”Good. To be honest, I did think you were a bit cute, but then you said you're a girl, and well… I'm gay, so that wouldn't have worked”. It takes Kris a moment to really hear what he's said. But then she starts blurting things out.

“Wait, you're gay? Wow, I would have never guessed. I mean, it's not really something you can tell, is it? But like… Okay, yeah, cool”. Kris can feel her cheeks heating up but luckily Jan only chuckles a bit.

“How… how did you know?” Kris then asks nervously.

“I don't know. Had a crush on my best friend. Did not have a crush on the prettiest girl in the school. Stuff like that”, Jan answers. Kris needs wants to know one more thing.

“But like, what if I had a crush on my friend, who's a guy, and then a while later, I maybe have a crush on the prettiest girl too? What does that mean?”. It's the first time Kris admits that her feelings towards Anja last year were anything but friendly.

“Maybe you're bi, dude. It means you like both”, Jan answers.

When Kris gets home a while later, there is so much to think about. That casual ‘dude’ that Jan had used, bisexuality, and the existence of young gay people. It's going to take a while to get used to things.

[katurdayss]

It’s been a full week since the finale of Rings of Power and every time I've sat down to try to write my S2 review I see a new take and start rethinking. I eventually circle back to the same ideas tho, so fuck it, here are my thoughts in no particular order.

Season 2 was a lot better than Season 1. This is true for most shows, as S1 is usually a 'lets find our footing' scenario, but also these seasons are SHORT. Which leads me to...

This show would benefit GREATLY from seasons longer than 8 episodes. The way they've structured it means they juggle a LOT of storylines at once. Sometimes this is great, other times it feels like storylines suffer because they're just planting seeds for the future and it doesn't really have an impact on the Main Storyline for the season. For me, Arondir was one of these. His started with this great potential for how an immortal would understand the concept of grieving the forever loss of a loved one. Unfortunately that was really watered down into tracking down Adar to kill him, full stop. Which brings us to...

What.the.fuck.is.the.timeline? How much time has passed? S1 and S2 feel like they happened in a month. I don’t care if the timeline is compressed, I still want to feel time passing other than noticing Annatar's/Sauron’s hair magically grew like 4 inches in one episode.

Speaking of Annatar, I feel like what the show did really well was creating original dialogue/moments (even with canon things) instead of what I would call fan/studio service. The parts that I have loved the most were the more original moments: like anything involving the dwarves, the development of Miriel and Elendil, the Ents, and Cirdan. The parts that I felt were weakest were when the show relied too heavily or used dialogue from the Jackson movies. I didn't want the Stranger to be Gandalf, not because it isn't canon, but because Peter Jackson already did that. I don't need multiple call backs to his movies (I love those movies too). I'm here for NEW STUFF. Expand my Tolkien universe, show me shit I've never seen before that will make my head explode. That weird nameless thing Arondir killed? Imagine the Cardi B 'What is that' meme and that was me. Fucking great. I don't want to be constantly reminded of the Jackson version of shit, I'm here to see Prime's version.

That brings me to the idea of consistency. I have yet to figure out what the methodology the showrunners/writers have when choosing to follow or not follow canon. Example, they included that little orc family but didn't make Elrond an elf lord? WHY? His lineage is like royal af. Even when not following canon, I feel like the writing can be really inconsistent. The Numenor storyline is a great example of this. Sometimes it's awesome, but the dialogue for the Kings Men characters are often really cringy, and not because what they're saying is fascist. Galadriel is another one for me. Do I need to like her, no, but her character is also used as a studio catch all for every woman character archetype possible. She's single-minded and driven, she's soft and caring, she's thoughtful and wise, every dude apparently is in love with her and it swings WILDLY from episode to episode. You need space to build in these changes to make them believable, which see points 2 & 3.

And finally, on the subject of romance/shipping, for the love of god a story can be great without all the fan service romantic tension editing and teasing. People can exist without romantic partners. People exist without romance. I literally do it every day. I'm not saying you need to make characters asxeual or anything either. Just you know, let people be people. Did The Kiss bother me? No, but you also could of written Elrond slipping Galadriel a lock pick numerous other ways. Is Sauron obsessed with Galadriel? Sure, but maybe its because her hair shines with the light of the west or something and not this tired trope of 'bE mY qUeeN'.

There are other things I would personally change, but I thoroughly enjoyed this season. It made me do a whole lot of reckoning with the ideas of canon representation vs just good storytelling for the audience, which is a really good thing. But it also showed me the folly in treating every media property the same, because Tolkien is not Marvel is not GOT is not The Witcher. You can't be like, 8 episodes works for X so it should work for this too, or x worked for GOT so we'll use that here as well. Maybe it's the Graphic Designer in me but just because Pepsi and Coca Cola are brand soda's doesn't mean the design language and marketing is the same, ya know?

[yakool-foolio]

Phoenix Wright

Just gonna go off of what's listed on the shipping wiki, cause if I tried to rate every single pair with him with the amount of characters in these games we'd be here all month.

Phoenix x Iris: 8/10; very cute, me likey. Iris genuinely caring for Phoenix while pretending to be Dahlia is super sweet, and Phoenix instantly being able to tell the difference between Iris n Dahlia is concrete evidence he knows her like the back of his hand. While I personally don't see them dating again post-Bridge, they'd definitely stay good friends forever.

Phoenix x Mia: 4/10; can't imagine this relationship lasting very long before death knocks on their door, but the utter grief is suffocating. Their relationship would just be full of sadness on both ends; they'd probably date for a short time just to try to forget Mia losing Diego and Phoenix being betrayed by Dahlia. Romance as a coping mechanism.

Phoenix x Maya: 0/10; nuh uh, they're siblings to me. I refuse to see them in a romantic light personally, but it certainly isn't the end of the world if I come across it. I don't care what anyone else does, I just don't ship it in the slightest.

Phoenix x Dahlia: 4/10; only fun if it's one-sided. I wanna see either Dahlia silently hating Phoenix's guts as he boasts the pretty lil necklace she gave him, or Phoenix cursing under his breath at the thought of talking to Dahlia again while she's possessing Maya. I need them to be bitter or I shall turn my nose up at it.

Phoenix x Doug Swallow: 2/10; this is a thing apparently, according to the wiki. I mean, I can guess why people might ship it; Doug basically saves Phoenix from the impeding doom of Dahlia and then they make out about it. Only reason it's rated so low is cause I haven't seen anything about this ship to really get a sense for their chemistry, but I do get the baseline concept.

Phoenix x Godot: 6/10; a ship I see a surprising amount of content for and I think it's getting me to like it more. Another relationship sunken in grief, but it's a much better fit on them in my eyes. Coffee dates are the best dates. Imagine all the coffee shop AUs that exist just for them.

Phoenix x Gumshoe: 5/10; neutral on this one, but I do like the concept! Just a couple o' guys staking out crime scenes together, lovin' their work. The best dudes for the job. They're supposed to be rivals but it never works. They're homies for life.

Phoenix x Kristoph: 7/10; if I liked Kristoph more, I might like this ship more than I already do. I am a sucker for toxic yaoi, so I'll gladly take it! Kristoph definitely has respect for Phoenix, as much as he hates to admit it, so why not seal the deal by making them have a very shaky relationship that ends in one framing the other for murder. Phoenix is suffering Edgeworth withdrawal and it's leading him to dark places. Kristoph is the Maria to Phoenix's James (n Edgeworth's Mary) and no one can tell me otherwise.

Phoenix x Lang: 5/10; I have no idea where this ship materialized from, but it just sounds funny. Alpha Wolf hot shot and his sassy lawyer boyfriend. If you thought Phoenix's sass was apparent enough already, Lang just intensifies it by being around him and they have a blast gossiping about the competition. I wanna see them interact in canon now.

Phoenix x Edgeworth: 10/10; A CERTIFIED CLASSIC! ONE OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS OF MLM SHIPS! THEY ARE A PART OF INTERNET HISTORY! It's so hard for me to ever think of them not being hopelessly in love with each other. They're husbands to me. They have matching wedding rings you just need to look closer.

Phoenix x Larry: 3/10; I don't like Larry so in turn it's really hard for me to like this ship. I think it could be interesting if teen Phoenix is in his bicurious era and does practice dates with Larry who is more than willing to help him out. Two men realized they're bi that day.

[steakout-05]

drawing my Craig fan design for REAL!!!!! + stupid little doodles

earlier i made a post talking about how i was planning on making my own canon where Crarry could still feasibly exist (as well as having other story beats and whatnot) and i mentioned how i refined my Craig design a little bit from the last time i drew him. i finally got around to actually drawing a proper full-body sketch of him and what he's supposed to look like!!! i think i drew his eyes a little more far apart than i intended but. whatever.

he's my skrunkly. he's my baby. he's got perpetually bored resting face and a phd in Pocketbeasts lore. he's got messy hair and a few stray whiskers as he tends to forget his own personal hygiene, what with being a hardworking scientist who usually doesn't show his face and all. i redesigned his eye to have more of a prominent scratch on it that warps and distorts his pupil, as i felt like that'd be the most fitting for his facial scar and the type of injury he has!

and for fun i'm gonna do a general timeline of the evolution of how i've drawn this design over time, because it's actually changed quite a bit since i first drew him back in 2022!! (click for better quality)

god it is. so weird looking back at that first design. it's so..... why is he so square shaped............. lol

now, in terms of differentiating this Craig from Canon Craig, i've thought of giving him some slight personality enhancements that i've always thought would fit him. i haven't seriously thought about it yet (i am tired) but here's some basic little traits i want to make more apparent in his character:

Logical Knowledgeable Creative Naive Perfectionist Fearful and Cowardly Not a very high self-esteem; Afraid to take charge Easily exhausted Not physically strong; Makes up for it with his quick-thinking skills Easily irritated when presented with inaccurate/false information Easily embarrassed; Tends to erase memories when this happens Reliable Honest Earnest Nerdy; LOVES to infodump about any given special interest he has Focused, sometimes to a fault Detail-oriented Introverted

this will likely be expanded on and developed more, but these general personality traits are quite fitting for how i headcanon Craig to be as a person!

i love how whenever i get attached to a character or even just really like them, i always bestow my best headcanon onto them in high regard: the autism headcanon. gonna try to keep this short so i don't infodump for 12 hours but the major autism traits i like to imagine Craig displaying are issues with social skills (unaware of many cues, accidentally says things in an inappropriate way/unintended tone, takes things literally, misconstrues sarcasm as genuine statements), a speech affect (monotone affect), low empathy (doesn't feel what other people feel and has trouble reacting to and feels uncomfortable with certain emotions), has special interests (robotics and engineering, Pocketbeasts, cats, and he loves infodumping about them!!), stimming (rubbing the back of his head when uncomfortable, fidgeting with and studying a particularly intriguing object or tool very closely, doing little puzzles that make little clicky noises that are very pleasant to listen to), experiences sensory issues (joint pain, eye strain, sensitivity to loud and sudden noises, despises certain tastes and textures, often experiences shutdowns), has a strong need for a solidified routine (sudden routine changes can cause distress for him, as he needs more time to process his surroundings and has a strong need for structure in his daily life), a few motor control issues (he's quite clumsy and has issues with spatial awareness, causing him to bump into stuff. this has unfortunately resulted in him bumping his thigh on the edge of a table way too many times.) and a few other things i've probably forgotten about. a lot of these are inspired by a few of my own traits as an autistic guy myself. the dude's like a combo of Data, Barclay and Geordi mixed into one dorky nerd (apologies for any non-trekkie followers who don't know who those characters are :skull:)

Craig seems like the type of person who, once you get him started, will infodump to you about his special interests for HOURS and he still wouldn't even be done yet. just like me fr. also tiny little Craig getting his face smooshed

get squoshed idiot

this is an older sketch i did when i was still finalising Craig's design along with doodling other stuff on the page. this was a little expression test of Craig blowing his face up with chemicals because 1. i thought it'd be funny. and it was. and 2. i've never really drawn him with big wacky expressions before, and i LOVE drawing big wacky expressions lol. it will be a rare sight to see Craig making a face like that but it'll still be funny nonetheless lol

no comment. only moob. i feel the same way about barry tbh HAHAHAAH what who said that

i fucking LOVE the Yababaina music video so much, it's absolutely insane and fun to watch, although it does put my eyes out of focus when i look at it for too long. heavy eyestrain and seizure warning for anyone who wants to check the video out, it's extremely fast-paced and has a lot of bright saturated colours. here are my three boys drawn doing that little handholding thing Miku, Teto and Zundamon do in the video. also first drawing of Prince Runingunin!!! he's so silly <3

that's everything i have today. i'm excited to draw this version of Craig more and make more art of him and Barry together!! just sucks i have to sorta swerve around canon with a convoluted solution but whatever. i like diverging from canon and making stuff up into my own thing anyway lol. blond nerd craig my beloved

[berrypass-de-murdler]

39. The Case of the Haunted Hotel

I feel... very bad for ANOTHER reason that just piled on BUT... I will push through anyway just bear with me

I really want to be in the discord but if people are gonna pick on me for how I act I just can't TwT hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

at least i have short king and goat lord...

Btw I know I say 'don't read until you've finished the first book', that's just a precaution in case I accidentally spoiler future stuff, it's really 'don't read it until you've done this case in the book'

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

The bois go to a hotel, and it’s apparently haunted, but it’s also apparently not. Also staying there are Lavender, Violet, and Saffron - who has just gotten out of prison and needs to wash her knives.

SAFFRON: I have a lot of knives.

Speaking of knives, someone’s dead!

SAFFRON: Yaaaay!

Lavender can’t stop flaunting his golden pen super suspiciously, and whispering to it in the dark. He and Chalk each own a two-of-a-kind golden ink perfect pen, to let you know that they’re GAE. A poisoned muffin is also there. Not Chalk, a literal one. Logico can’t find Irratino, though.

LOGICO: Now where did the fuck did he go to?

Logi opens a door and the goat is sitting at a table with a Ouija board, eyes glowing, with purple flames spouting all around him. All that immediately stops.

IRRATINO: The murder happened in the ballroom.  LOGICO: There’s a ballroom? IRRATINO: You didn’t even check all the locations??

As it turns out, Violet is really just a little piece of shit, isn’t she.

VIOLET: Yes! I killed him! I loved him! He, a commoner! And he rejected me! Yes, he, a commoner! So I killed him. I would do it again. But I’d do anything to bring him back…

Makes sense. The boys go home and Logico looks up the place on Google. It apparently closed 30 years ago. They rush back over and it’s just an empty lot with nothing in it. The suspects are even gone.

IRRATINO: TH-THAT’S LITERALLY THE MOST PARANORMAL THING IN THE HISTORY OF- DUDE!! LOGICO: No, no, we were just confused about the address. Or there was some kind of gas leak. IRRATINO: YOU’RE IMPOSSIBLE!!

Does this mean that Violet, Lavender, and Saffron don't really exist?

The end!

Petition to make at least saffron still exist

m a u v e

she was the third design I made only after aureolin and logico. she was made before it was even a cartoon lmao

sorry for being so... this I'll try harder next time

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[an-aura-about-you]

cracking open a room temperature one (Handbook for Mortals chapter 1) with the boys

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade, who insists on having a nickname that doesn't sound like her name, had just left home after some vague thing her mother did. it's implied that she used magic to keep her stuck in her one horse town, but it's never outright stated and I doubt it will be at this point. it's wild because it honestly doesn't take much for me to side with a kid against their parent in a fictional argument, but you're giving me nothing to work with so I don't honestly know if Dela even did anything that bad.

also I'm upset that Dad is apparently on just the right wavelength to hear the name Zade and guess that it was similar to Scheherazade. but maybe that's one of those parent things like when good ol' Strong Bad told us that a garage sale is more like a garbage sale and made them rhyme. so congrats, you have reached your target audience of nearly 70 year old dads who do things like doing a little dance when they try on a comfy pair of shorts at the store.

anyway, on to Chapter 1: The Magician

-Zade is doing her audition in front of the entire theater company of nearly 200 people. this is ridiculous both in real life and in the story. like isn't that equal to about 2/3rds of the population of the town where she just left? why waste their time when you probably only need to audition in front of like 3-4 people?

-I don't know why Sarem feels the need to explain what show blacks are. I'd be surprised if someone reading this book hasn't seen a piece of media that shows the backstage crew all in black. I guess it kind of works because she takes the time to talk about how she thinks dudes in show blacks are sexy? but like, we know that black clothes are sexy. that's why the concept of the Little Black Dress exists.

-"Most of the performers looked bored." which means you're really making a great first impression. her audition hasn't started yet, but she's already getting off on the wrong foot with her potential coworkers by dragging them to see this when it's clear they'd rather be somewhere else, like getting ready for their next show since a number of them are in full costume.

-the boss of this thing is the "infamous" Charles Spellman, which means it's time to get into word choice! this isn't exactly a wrong word to use here, but I think it has different connotations than what Sarem was going for in this scene. it's kind of like when I watched like half of the opera Doctor Atomic and a song chose to use the word "odor" when talking about a pleasant smell. it's my understanding it was based on a real poem, but odor typically DOESN'T convey a pleasant smell, and I probably would have chosen "scent" or "aroma" instead had it been me. likewise, unless we're talking about Spellman's penchant to date girls his daughter's age, then there's not really anything infamous about him.

-speaking of, we've got a dude named Spellman and his daughter isn't named Sabrina, but it occurred to me tonight that it WOULD have been hella cool and still a subtle reference to Sabrina the Teenage Witch had she been named Zelda. I might just pretend we're reading about Zelda Holder for the rest of this book.

-in the very next paragraph after calling him infamous we're told Spellman is well respected. so which is it?

-the theater is in the round with stadium seating. (she doesn't say stadium seating, she spends like half a page describing stadium seating instead of just calling it stadium seating.) we're keeping this detail in mind for whinging purposes later.

-ok, Zade is talking about how she doesn't know much about her father during the book's introduction to Spellman. HOW was him being her father supposed to be a twist?? there's a difference between planting clues to your twist and just spelling it out for the reader. but then, considering Sarem has been spelling everything else out, I'm surprised I'm not seeing dashes between the letters.

-this girl on Spellman's arm, Sofia, is the Designated Mean Girl, and I'm gonna take a moment to do what Sarem SHOULD have done and think about her like she's a person for a second.

Because here's the thing about writing, guys:

Your characters are not people; they are tools.

Your characters are most successful when they APPEAR to be people instead of tools.

All of the characters you write are you. Yes, you. Not just your designated self-insert. ALL of them. Even the characters that might be based on someone else since they're still going through the filter of your perception of them.

so let's take a look at Sofia with some information that we're going to learn about her later. we know almost immediately in the book that she's Spellman's girlfriend. (she's about to tell it to Zade "coldly and mean even") and if you know how this book ends, she and Spellman will be broken up sometime before the ending because *spoilers* Spellman is gonna marry (possibly remarry?) Zade's mother Dela. this means their relationship is possibly on the rocks at this point. we're also going to learn smartphones exist in this world. considering Sarem's lack of creativity thus far, I wouldn't be surprised if that includes Facebook and thus has info on Spellman's past hookups. also, when Spellman talks to Zade, he doesn't mention being pleased to meet her or anything. he already knows her, and she knew enough to set up this weird ass audition with him.

if I were Sofia, I would be thinking one of three things:

I would think this girl wants my spot considering my boyfriend is respected as a magician but otherwise "infamous" so it's likely known he likes them young.

I would (incorrectly) assume this is Dela and/or another ex and that Spellman is going to leave me for her.

I would (correctly) assume this is Spellman's daughter and she's about to give me shit for banging her dad.

also, there's a scene later in the book when Sofia talks about paying her dues to be in the show. if she and Spellman are close to splitsville, then her illusion is in the show by merit of her actual talent. even if I was banging the boss, I'd be pissed if his kid showed up expecting a position out of pure nepotism when I had rightfully earned my spot initially. all things considered, I would probably be kind of cold in my greeting to her, too, especially since Zade straight up forgets about Sofia by the end of the page. if Zade can't be bothered with Sofia, why should Sofia bother with her?

-Zade is all self-conscious about everybody sizing her up before her audition but like. what do you think happens at an audition? they are literally here to judge you???

-let's just pause the book for several paragraphs while we introduce you to every fucking person who works in this show. because that's a worthwhile use of pages and ink.

-I know from later information that the dude Zeb who's looking at Zade like he's not happy she's here also knows real actual magic. and like, yeah, I'd be pissed off if I had a magic show in Vegas and worked very hard to conceal my true magic ability while still making it work in the show only for this rando from bumfuck, nowhere to come along and just blatantly do magic in front of fucking everyone in the company.

-this probably would have been a good setup if Zade was supposed to be unlikable but I honestly don't think Sarem would have the ability to write an intentionally unlikable protagonist if she wanted to. and considering she literally confirmed Zade is her self-insert mary sue, I doubt she's supposed to be unlikable. though this also leads to the story problem a lot of mary sue stories have: if the protagonist is already perfect, then where is her character arc going to go? (the answer is nowhere.)

-"I do hope you can get this going soon; we all have other things we need to do." wow Zeb really is a magician you guys! he was able to read my mind!

-oh my god everyone is ignoring Zade. I love this.

-oh this is rich, saying the way Trig spoke to her could have sounded very condescending, Miss "Let Me Devote Paragraphs Of This Book Explaining Show Blacks And Stadium Seating."

-Zade takes the time to tell us it bothers her when people say her name wrong like "Zaad" which just makes me wonder how the hell Sarem thinks Scheherazade is pronounced. like, after reading this I tried doing this with my own name since it could be parsed like that, going from Auralie (rhymes with bee) to Lie (rhymes with eye) and I'm just distracted by how wrong it sounds. I'm convinced that Sarem thinks (or thought, idk if she's heard anyone say the name since publishing the book) Scheherazade rhymes with jade because I can't imagine being called Scheherazade, hearing it pronounced correctly by my mother all 25ish years of my life, and then not being bothered if someone said ANY part of it wrong.

-Mac the technical director is very upset that he hasn't been able to do a safety check on Zade's setup for her trick. and yeah, bro is right. I don't care that Zade signed a waiver, this is still one hell of a liability for the entire company because we don't know if or how any of the other acts will be affected by this.

-Zeb is playing on his phone during Zade's audition. clearly he's the most relatable character in the book so far.

-Zade meets a guy that she claims is too attractive for her to date because she wants to be the prettier one in the relationship. this is the first of many of the little things Sarem will sprinkle into the narrative that indicates Zade is not interested in any actual partnerships but instead wants others the way one wants objects.

-I notice that Charles calls Zade's act a "jump" but Zade thinks of it as an "illusion." calling it a jump is the more fitting description. what she does is she uses her Actual Real Magic to turn the stage into some kinda fiery transportation liquid for her to dive into only to reemerge from the nearby pool. she throws a rose down as proof that the stage is solid, but I mean. anyone who comes to see this trick will go, "Oh! There must be some hidden pool for her to dive into and the rose landed on the only solid bit!" like, I used to really REALLY like magic shows as a kid, and if you watch them long enough, you start picking up on some of the sleight of hand they use, start noticing some of the things they do to try drawing your attention away from the mechanics of the trick. the trick as presented is only truly impressive because of its high dive nature even with the magic.

-wow, Zade even points out that a regular audience would think "trapdoor," meaning once again that the magic part of this is pointless since the high dive is the only part a regular audience would find impressive.

-immediately after the trick, Zade throws her rose to Sofia, winks at her, and says, "For the pretty lady." once again putting myself in Sofia's shoes, this is the moment Zade makes it personal, the moment Zade throws down the gauntlet. this would erase any lingering doubts in my mind. as far as I would be concerned, Zade specifically came here with the goal of ousting me from my position in the show and just straight up challenged me for it in front of literally ALL of my coworkers AND my boyfriend. the absolute fucking nerve of her.

-Sofia gives her a fake smile upon receiving the rose. I'm amazed she had the strength to do that because holy shit Zade that wasn't just a bitch move it was a bitch samba.

-"I was starting to realize it was going to be harder to keep our secret from everyone." YOU MEAN YOUR MAGIC? THE MAGIC YOU JUST POINTLESSLY USED FOR YOUR HIGH DIVE ACT? THAT MAGIC? THE SECRET MAGIC THAT YOU JUST SHOWED 200 PEOPLE? IS THAT THE THING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP SECRET?

-Spellman's assistant Beth tells Zade that the offer in her contract is the biggest she's ever seen Spellman offer. this is just beyond insulting. girl walks into her daddy's theater like she owns the place, does a high dive with some pointless magic sparkles, and then Daddy gives her allllll the money.

in an interview Sarem did for Vulture, she says that she wrote the story so her self-insert could have all the things she wanted. so, what, Sarem wants her dad to give her some money? if the idea is that Zade earned it, that doesn't hold up no matter how you look at it. with the twist built in that Spellman is Zade's father, it's gonna reek of nepotism upon reread no matter what. but let's look at it without that, and let's take a moment to look at Sofia again.

if I had to pick the dynamic I THINK Sarem was going for with Zade and Sofia, then it's probably Elle and Vivian from Legally Blonde. (not that I think Sarem would watch Legally Blonde, but that doesn't mean the example isn't fitting.) Vivian doesn't take Elle seriously and initially tries to humiliate her but eventually comes to respect Elle the longer they know each other and genuinely befriends her. but it's important to point out that the reason Vivian develops that respect for Elle is because:

she sees all the hard work Elle does to actually earn her position on the legal team

Elle is a genuinely kind person who works to uplift others even if they didn't start on such great terms (more on how Zade treats other people especially women later)

Zade is like if Elle showed up to Harvard Law with the necklace from Ace Attorney that's haunted by the Ghost of Lawyers Past that gives her all the legal information she needs to win the case and bigger boobs. that's just the magic equivalent of what Warner did buying his way in.

long story short, the work Sofia puts in to her prestidigitation act is more impressive than Zade's magic, and Zade getting a position in the show is an insult to that hard work.

ugh, and that was only the end of chapter 1.

[strongsadapologist]

what did strong sad ever do? if anyone you would need a strongbadapologist

(note: I headcanon strong sad as transfem and will be using she/her throughout this post out of habit, sorry if that's confusing)

SHE DIDN'T!!! that's the thing, she's done NOTHING TO JUSTIFY HOW SHE'S TREATED!!! at least not to the level that she's mistreated!! i'm going to have a TL;DR up front because dear god can i rant about how mistreated she is in the show!! and i will under the cut!! sorry if this takes a while to actually post it is after midnight and i have work in about five hours so i might stop writing in the middle of it!! but anyway back to the ask at hand!!

short version: i use "apologist" in the "i will defend this character with my heart and soul" way instead of the "they're bad in canon but i will ignore that because i like them" sort of way. i've seen a lot of people actually treat her character with the respect she deserves outside of canon but in canon she's constantly put down for things that are either out of her control or made worse by those around her, and because of this i will fight for her honor until i die. it is simply the role i have been destined to play /j

(edit: i'm also just terrible at coming up with names for things. i wanted to rebrand because my old blog name was based on an old fixation and i wanted it to represent how normal i am about homestar runner instead, strong sad is my favorite character so i wanted it to have something to do with her. and the best i could come up with was "strong sad apologist" because at the time of choosing it i'd only seen a few sbemails with her in them, but multiple were mean to her and i didn't understand why. so it's a mix of being bad at naming things and "strong sad apologist" sounding better than something like "strong sad simp" /hj)

long version: WHY DO SO MANY CHARACTERS AND PEOPLE IN THE SERIES TREAT HER BAD dude. like i'm sorry but literally the sixth strong bad email, the first one that she plays a major role in, is called "depressio" and the email reads "tell strong sad he is dumb and a crappy guy." what did she do to you?!? SIX EMAILS IN?!? h*r had been going before the strong bad emails became a series sure but BRO!!! i should clarify that i'm relatively new to h*r and have only seen the first 100 or so strong bad emails, and even fewer of the toons, but that's enough for me to be confident that she is horrifically mistreated. i've seen exactly one interaction where she wasn't being demeaned or put down in some fashion, and it's the scene from "where's the cheat?" where her and homsar are playing connect four. technically, in the ween toon where coach z asks about her beautiful house and beautiful wife, that's also a non-demeaning interaction, but it exists so they can make a reference to the talking heads, so i don't count it. and there could be more, but i either don't remember them or haven't seen them yet.

strong bad especially man, i don't understand what the hell his problem is. the argument could be made that he's mean to everyone, especially homestar and the cheat, but it's borderline uncomfortable to watch him onscreen when he decides that strong sad is apparently satan reincarnated, and he needs to haze her as much as possible to make sure she stays degraded enough to not rise up or whatever. i'm tired, i hope that makes sense. essentially, i hate whenever they're both onscreen, because it usually involves him being unnaturally cruel to her. whether it be putting her underwear up for auction to get her off the couch so he can watch tv, or putting coffee powder in her orange juice (i mean, it was decaf coffee powder, so that might just be her incredibly low caffeine tolerance, but the sentiment is still mean as hell), or using the fact that he put coffee powder in her orange juice to do a science fair project and having his end conclusion be that she's adopted, or throwing a cake in her face because she (rightfully based on the original email) assumes he's going to do something nice for her, he just can't fathom not being a dick to her. and the fact that it's implied that he gave her her belly button with a power drill...what the hell, man? i feel like a cartoon review youtuber talking about modern spongebob, this isn't even funny cruel. it's just cruel cruel.

i'm not going to pretend i dislike strong bad as a character. i think his character is at its best when he's done something douchey, but he gets rightfully called out for/put down for it. that's why i don't hate an email like stand-up like i do depressio. one feels like a rightful callout or a way to show the audience that a character who always portrays himself as an untouchable is embarrassingly human as well. the other feels like finding someone passed out in an alleyway and kicking them in the nuts instead of trying to help.

in her blog she mentions multiple times in which both strong bad and strong mad make her life worse, whether it be by having storm water drain into her room and right above her head, or by having strong mad kick/punch (i don't remember which one off the top of my head) her in the side of her knee, or by strong bad leaving sticky notes on her face while she's sleeping proclaiming how awesome he is before coming in and hijacking her blog. and that's just from one page of her blog! what's the meanest thing strong sad's done back, covering the series as a whole and not one offshoot of it? remove strong bad's couch eggs in morning routine? say that strong bad's computer that exploded and sent him flying through two walls into her room was cheap in gimmick? show the audience little strong bad's stand-up routine in stand-up? not go to the store because she went last time? that last one is from the first episode of strong bad's cool game for attractive people, homestar ruiner, and if you trigger this dialogue by opening the fridge, you can walk approximately 10 feet and find a house plant that belongs/belonged to strong sad, and strong bad tells the audience that the plant killed itself after strong sad started talking to it. and when she points out that that's not true, he says, to quote him verbatim, "that's not what the note said!" obviously, him doing things that are worse won't cancel out anything bad she's done. but that's irrelevant, because the most she's "done wrong" is say some slightly mean/insensitive comments towards strong bad and embarrasses him exactly one time that i'm aware of. is it wrong of her to show something that strong bad is clearly embarrassed by? sure, and that's a fair point. however, considering strong bad consistently participates in the strong sad lookalike contest, which she says she's insulted by (and excited by, but that's less important), i consider it completely fair game.

in my eyes, her only crimes are A. having depression (which is obviously not her fault, and it's implied that she's being medicated to help with her depression [i assume that's what her pills are for, anyway], so she's potentially making an effort to lessen her depressive symptoms), B. being depressing as a result of her mental illness (which is only exacerbated by living in a home where her housemates/siblings seemingly hate her and treat her like dirt, only having one person not actively be mean or indifferent to her), C. being overweight (which i shouldn't even have to explain why that, in no way, means she should be treated as subhuman), and D. being artsy/having interests (which she does more in newer h*r content as a way to flesh out her character besides just being depressed/depressing, so it's very unclear what strong bad actually wants besides a punching bag). i'd like to imagine that if she ever realizes her worth and moves away from the house of strong, potentially even free country usa as a whole, she'd find people who'd actually appreciate her for her creativity, either agree with or try to lighten her gothic outlook on life, and wouldn't try to sell her legs to poachers.

(...but i'm also wearing a shirt with her on it as i write this, so take all of this with a grain of salt. for reference, she also says the line "food should be consumed in the most depressing way possible" in her blog, and i just ate a bowl of pizza rolls while sitting on my floor at 1 in the morning, so maybe i'm quick to defend her because some stuff just rings too close to home for me to not defend it, lest they talk down on me by condemning things i do. especially since i actually like sloshy, which i'm pretty sure exists just to point out that strong sad's music taste is bad [and so's mine, to be fair]. i could be completely misinterpreting that, and sorry if i am. but i'm mostly partial to her for the same reason i'm partial to characters like meatwad - they're picked on for illegitimate reasons by a douchebag brother figure, and they don't deserve that at all. i could treat them right, in a platonic way. if you actually read all of this, i not only thank you, i also hope this makes some amount of sense. i am very tired. it is currently 1:54 am at the time of writing this out. i need to be at work in four hours. i've spent almost two full hours writing this one post out. i am SO fucking normal)

[pertinax--loculos]

Books Read in 2024 (so far)

(Looking at my Goodreads, where I've been keeping track of this, I apparently only started keeping track in March? But I guess that's fair, there's a chance I didn't read anything before that. So let's go with that. ^_^)

The Foxhole Court, Nora Sakavic

The Raven King, Nora Sakavic

The King's Men, Nora Sakavic

-> These kicked off my reading binge for the year. Also, how have I never read them before? Because my god. Instant favourites. Don't talk to me.

Like Real People Do, E.L. Massey

-> My attempt to recapture the All for the Game vibes. It failed. The book was okay, though.

John Dies at the End, Jason Pargin

This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It, Jason Pargin

What The Hell Did I Just Read, Jason Pargin

If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe, Jason Pargin

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits, Jason Pargin

Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, Jason Pargin

Zoey is Too Drunk for This Dystopia, Jason Pargin

-> Some of these are technically rereads; JDatE, Spiders, and the first Zoey book. Regardless, Pargin is an insta-buy for me.

Leech, Hiron Ennes

-> Tumblr recommendation off a random post. Very good.

American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis

-> I enjoyed this. If you can say that about this book. Taking it as what it is, I thought it was very well done.

Dead Girls Don't Say Sorry, Alex Ritany

-> Go check out @aritany if you haven't already! Wonderful human, incredible writer, new book coming out soon!

Tales from the Gas Station: Volume One, Jack Townsend

-> Trying to recapture some of Pargin's bizarre humour. Pretty similar, and I did enjoy it, but I was starting to move away from that vibe, and to be honest this just wasn't as good as Pargin.

Maze-Born Trouble, Ginn Hale

-> My only complaint with this book is it was too fucking short. 😠 Astonishing worldbuilding and a very rich story for what amounts to a novella. Love.

Altered Carbon, Richard K. Morgan

-> Following on from the scifi of Pargin's Zoey series and Maze-Born Trouble. This was good. I doubt I'll read more in the series because from the blurbs they're quite disparate, but holy hell the world that was built was incredible.

Mystic River, Dennis Lehane

-> Complicated reason why I read this that actually has to do with OOC. Also technically a reread, from a while ago. Love Lehane, though, and this as a standalone is very good. Has some examples of omniscient POV that I would almost classify as head-hopping that actually works, and as a thriller, so an interesting read for a writer as well.

Educated, Tara Westover

-> The beginning of my brief nonfiction binge.

I'm Glad My Mom Died, Jenette McCurdy

-> Because, obviously.

Eggshell Skull, Bri Lee

-> Highly HIGHLY recommended. Some heavy stuff regarding sex offences and the legal system, and quite centred in Australia, but a brilliant nonfiction read.

The Sunshine Court, Nora Sakavic

The Foxhole Court, Nora Sakavic

The Raven King, Nora Sakavic

The King's Men, Nora Sakavic

-> Why yes, I did see that The Sunshine Court had been released and immediately read it, then immediately reread All for the Game, because what the fuck else was I gonna do? Not reread it? C'mon.

Icebreaker, A.L. Graziadei

-> Note the author there, cuz I know there's another book by the same title. This one was excellent. Still not the AftG vibes I was seeking, but closest I've found reading something immediately after finishing that series.

The Ministry of Time, Kaliane Bradley

-> I know everyone's talking about it. Read it anyway.

Summer Sons, Lee Mandelo

-> currently reading. Currently loving.

...and that's 27 so far this year -- 23 if you don't count rereading books I read for the first time this year. 0.o Still, not a bad effort!

If you'd like more info or just wanna chat about any of this books, feel free to hit me up. Also if you've got this far without being intimidated by my awful formatting choices, congrats! And thankyou. ^_^

[justatalkingface]

What are your thoughts about One For All?

By that, I mean the power itself, the story surrounding it, the connections to All For One, the person, all of it. You spoke extensively about Izuku and now I'd like to hear your thoughts about his quirk. Yoichi Shigaraki seemed very suspicious, and his quirk being a death curse at first seemed like it was setting up for a really morally ambiguous OFA. But it turns out the guy's a saint and he's trying to take down the devil. As far as I can tell, One For All kills people just to justify Izuku being the current holder and to make him special. We also got the typical shōnen power escalation of Izuku ending up with a bunch of new powers out of nowhere. Many of which seemed to exist just to have him surpass All Might quickly enough so he could handle fights against super powerful foes, because this series takes places within a year. The story rushed this dude's development, so his powers had to rush him to where he could handle things. And he also became a genius who could master a bunch of new quirks in a very short amount of time. Many of the abilities felt very redundant with his power set or go mostly unused, such as smokescreen. Float and Black Whip were cool and added a lot to Izuku's kit. The OFA vs AFO plot line eventually took over the series. I prefer the battles against AFO's forces in comparison to the earlier parts of the series, where the kids fought each other in battles with no stakes. The academia part of MHA was always the weakest part, but some people preferred it. What do you think?

One For All... well, let me get this almost mandatory part out of the way: he suffers for being introducing during The War Arc, and by dint of it means we'll probably never have a satisfying amount of information on him.

Quirk wise... it actually tracks? If family Quirks are similar, both AFO and OFA both, then, have a Quirk that is based around 'transfering Quirks', the same way that Asu's family all have Quirks based around frogs, yet they are all expressed in different ways.

I've seen people argue that the mysterious door he's helping hide is AFO, since the stockpiling Quirk passed through AFO himself first.

I just, let me.... alright. Honestly? I could see it. I really wouldn't be that surprised at this point if they did that. Logically? That makes no sense. The power stockpiling Quirk was just that, stockpiling power. It was only special when it got fused with OFA's nameless Quirk, and they fused into something more, a Quirk that is apparently specialized to act as a mental arc, in his body. Moreover, it should mean that AFO would have a Vestige there, and I just... really hope they don't do that, because I can't see a way it ends well, you know?

More recently, I'm wondering if that BIg Mystery they're clearly hiding has to do with why AFO was crying when he was killing(?) the Second; did The Second kill OFA? Was that a revenge kill? Did OFA plan that? Did he go, 'My brother is too powerful to stop, so we must sacrifice ourselves until someone is strong enough to do so, and act as fertilizer for their eventual rise' and that's why the first couple of generations are edgy and the later ones, who didn't get that memo, or who were thought to be that theoretic final product, are more open?

I... could see that. It's not something I think would be done well, with MHA as it is now, but I could see that.

Really though, when you think about it the fact that each of them have suicidally went up against AFO in his prime means that there's no way that OFA should have been able to be transferred throughout the generations, because AFO has so much stacked in his favor that he should have easily been able to hunt them down and kill them (and when does he even realize they have that Quirk? Early on, especially, it couldn't have been easy, with how weak it was; it'd probably be easier to identify it based off behavior more than power).

The thing I've realized about OFA is that the early lore for it is really kind of questionable, just because they explicitly went up against AFO with barely any power ups, which is basiclly suicide. Even if AFO wanted them alive to keep the Quirk alive (and why? Before his 'development' you could argue it's because he wanted his brother back, and thus his Vestige in it, and later it's a strong Quirk, but there's a good period where it was a Quirk with potential, not power, and AFO has been developed into a two dimensional caricature who would kill for the lulz, who has no depth or moral attachment to anything. Before his 'development' you could argue that he wanted even a small part of his brother back, and it would explain things, but now? Was he just... letting it live to refine it so he could steal it when it was strong? It'd fit with how everything is AFO's fault these days), it would be dead ass easy for him to capture the current Holder and then keep them imprisoned, maybe after crippling them, until he can get what he wants from them.

The fact it's kind of incompatible with a person with a Quirk... kind of tracks, since, you know, Nomu, but if this was always a thing, under that logic everyone who wasn't Quirkless with this thing should have rendered brain damaged like, you know, the Nomu. The fact that they kind of... fall apart? That feels like bullshit. It has the energy of trying to make Izuku a True Destined Hero in a True Shonen by making him the only one who could use it safely, instead of, you know, just being chosen on his heroic merits, and goes blatantly against the themes the manga was talking about from the start, that everyone can be a hero. Because 'men aren't born equal' is wrong, and even a Quirkless kid can be heroic, can save someone. But, you know... Everything Changed When The War Arc Attacked. I'm not surprised it got fucked up.

May be a little off topic, but I'll point out since AFO has vestiges now (suddenly), that that's going to be important for whatever end game there is, and, you know, that's going to be bullshit, since OFA only has those from a Quirk that was specialized in making them, and even then they only started communicating with him at the War Arc, after generations of that one Quirk being powered up to allow it to happen. Meanwhile, AFO just takes the Quirks, and even if Quirks keep, well, a vestige of their former owner, why did it take so long to happen if it was just a thing that happened when you moved Quirks? Why didn't any OFA user before Izuku have this happen? Why aren't the Nomu filled with the traumatic impulses of their parts; not the main body, but the minds of however many extra Quirks are stuffed inside them? There's no reason for that logic to apply to AFO, since he just takes them, but... yeah. ECWTWAA.

....So, is the reason he's such a two-dimensional character is that he can't get a good night's sleep because god knows how many people are just constantly screaming at him, in a ironic own goal on their part that is making him more and more evil as he slowly loses his mind over the years, doing more and more terrible things they don't want him to? Or is that just me putting more work in AFO's characterization that Hori has actually done?

You want to know my prediction? That was introduced as the way to beat him, in the end: Izuku and OFA are going to lead a revolution in AFO's body/mind and purge him, or... something stupid to beat his mind once and for all, since AFO is apparently studying Orochimaru style immortality and we're reaching a point where killing any one body, and maybe even both, won't be enough to kill him, so they have to go deeper to finish him!

Which totally makes sense.

SIgh.

On the Vestiges, and the powers? In theory, I'm fine with it, Hori clearly was hinting about them way back when, but in practice the way that's been handled is ass. Either A, these guys all have buttons to unlock their Quirks, in which case there should have been a Team Meeting with Izuku rather than him randomly shooting out combat tentacles out of nowhere, when he could have killed someone with them, just like... you're in a fight; surprise super powers! What could go wrong, or B, it just happens, in which case them making noises about proving himself or whatever sounds... dumb when what they think about the situation has nothing to do with it.

More than that, though, the way they're being used to power up Izuku? The way that they're just his Stands now, more than actual characters? Only showing up behind him to show how serious Izuku is? The sheer fucking disrespect of it irks me; Hori, if you're going to introduce actual characters who are people, then treat them like people. If you just want to give Izuku powers, don't give him a mindscape full of people with opinions, just give him powers. One or the other Hori; you can just give Izuku a weird Animus style flashback without a personality you actually need to manage being attached.

On the powers themselves, it's clearly something that got dropped on the wayside. Black Whip, obviously, is Hori's favored child, lovingly used at every possible chance and drawn out in great detail (I hear he really likes Spiderman?) but after that? The first couple were utility skills, chosen to give Izuku some soft support while he wandered on his own without readily available support tech, beyond those.... Hori just used them as crutches to skip over all the development Izuku never had the time to do to master AFO itself. No matter how they phrase it, no matter how complicated they make the explanation, they're just there so he can punch harder.

As a person, it's hard to tell much about OFA. He has morals, he opposes his brother, he's keeping secrets from Izuku.... let's be honest here, he's more of a plot device than a human being at this point, and I have zero faith in his future development. It's kind of frustrating since there's a lot of interesting potential there (is he a Good Guy(TM)? Did AFO just go too far, and before that he was fine with his brother the warlord? Was he cowardly like Izuku, but also went through character development once he gained the ability to stand up for himself? There's a lot of ways his characterization could be spun, but that has more to do with his lack of characterization than anything) that I'm sure he'll never live up to than anything.

Beyond that... there's this symbolism with hands that keeps coming up. Shigaraki has it, of course, that's mostly his trauma being expressed with his hand based Quirk (and strengthened by AFO using hands to condition him, actually...), to the point where it became his theme. Later on, though, when they started expanding on AFO and OFA mentally, there's thing where both of them are reaching out to people, with this focus on their hands. Both of them do it, and it's always drawn in this ominous sort of way, even for OFA, the apparent good guy. Sometimes, usually (or only?) for AFO (who also has a Quirk focused around his hands; it's not surprising his mind would orient around that to some extent) it's even the only thing we see of their mental silhouettes. It's... very interesting to me, and makes me think there was probably going to be more to him at some point, that there was going to be some, any, depth to his character.

On the academia part, here's the thing: compared to later on, the early stuff was better, not on the merits of school vs fighting, but because early on, even with its flaws, it's clearly something Hori put a lot thought into, had a plan. The later stuff? Well, there's some sort of plan, but the later we get in the timeline, the more it feels like Hori is backpedaling from some original concept, and changing it to something else as we go along. And in itself, his ideas changing isn't a bad thing, but those changes are still built off the foundation of his older plans, and it leaves more and more plot points hanging out in the wind, without proper support. If this manga was a house, the higher Hori built it, the more floors he added, the more he started shifting the house to one side, while everything he had already built stayed where it was. That's not how you get a solid house, and no matter how much fancier those higher floor may look, it doesn't make up for the fact that it's only barely staying in place.

At the same time though, it's clear that, for all that this series is called My Hero Academia, the actual school part of it is something Hori doesn't seem to be all that interested in, or have put thought into. UA, narratively, isn't a school, it's an excuse, and the times when Hori puts in things like class presidents, or normal, actually academic tests and the like, it's because he has to put them in, and so it's understandable when you look at the actual school parts of this 'school', it feels awkward and out of place.

When people talk about liking it, it was probably less, 'Man, Izuku and friends in school, doing school things, was great' (though, there are are probably plenty of those as well, to be fair; again, My Hero Academia; it's not surprising to see interest in that school setting promised in the actual title) and more that, 'Wow, it was nice to focus on Izuku and the main cast we were introduced to from the beginning, and watch them actually talk to each other and interact!', since the farther we got into the actual hero stuff, the less we had of all that, and of all the characters we got attached to originally, when we first started the story.

[houseofbrat]

Wailers and some media sycophants are loving the pretense right now that KP can be trusted and the health updates they’ve given from the outset can be trusted.

It’s not like there’s any recent precedent of KP lying about the health of one of it’s principals…

Like say whether William contracted a severe case of COVID-19 during the pandemic or not….when they didn’t just not inform the public and lie by omission, they denied it on the record.

For comparison, then Prince Charles disclosed he’d contracted COVID and his health status is more important than the heir apparent. They announced Camilla’s two COViD diagnosis, including one when was Queen, and I’m old enough to remember wailers dragging her through the mud mocking her.

KP and their cult are in their f*ck around, find out era and I love it 😂

Yup.

I will say that I do genuinely feel bad for Kate. I know she's going through a tough time. I know she also didn't photoshop that photo.

But I have no sympathy for her fans who think that the photo agencies just rejected the photo due to a little photoshop. The agencies know that it's a completely doctored photo, i.e. "a jigsaw" as Tina Brown said.

The photo agencies would have contacted KP privately before any "kill" notice was issued. If the problem was just that they combined photos due to the difficulty of photographing kids, then they would have just sent multiple takes of those photos to the agencies with a request that they not publicly share or distribute them. Occam's Razor people! Except KP can't because those photos do not exist.

I will say that I don't feel sorry for William. The dude had a genuine hand in creating this fiasco, and I'm not just referring to events that happened in 2024. I'm referring to his choices in the summer and fall of 2023.

He needs to admit that he doesn't know how to make good choices. Perhaps he needs to ask the BP communications team to take over in the short term because the KP comms team--or at least the head of the KP comms team--needs to be sacked!

[decepticon-nerd]

Thanks for tagging me @novafire-is-thinking

1. Are you named after someone?

I am not named after anyone, but if I have one more person ask me if I'm named after the girl from FRIENDS I'm going to scream. My name is technically biblical, so I hate it, however there is a bird with my name so that makes it a bit better.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uh. Today. I'm having a day. :)

3. Do you have kids?

No, nor do I want any. I am not fit to be a good parent.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes. I can come off as a bit of a bitch, but I don't mean to. I've taken to making a silly voice when I use sarcasm so people can tell I'm not being serious.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

My self given nickname is Oblivious Prime because I do not notice shit. I also don't remember shit, so if I notice something, once it's out of my field of view it just Does Not Exist

6. What's your eye colour?

Brown

7. Scary movies or good endings?

Am I allowed to say both? Horror movie, with a relatively good ending? Or a wholesome movie with a good ending, and on the other hand, the most gruesome thing imaginable? I like both

Also, probably unpopular opinion, I actually enjoyed the Slenderman movie. Do with that information whatever you will

8. Any special talents?

Uhhhhhhh. No? I don't think so (genuine)

9. Where were you born?

Probably a hospital

10. What are your hobbies?

My hobbies used to be drawing, gaming, and listening to music. I technically still do all of those things, but I mostly doomscroll on Tumblr now. If I can break the doomscroll, I attempt one of the above.

11. Do you have any pets?

Her

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I used to play soccer and was apparently good at dodgeball in school

13. How tall are you?

I'm 5'5" and apparently give off short king energy because all of y'all said I was 5'3" or 5'2" 💀

14. Favourite subject in school?

Art and forensic science. I love anatomy and yet I suck at foreshortening said anatomy

15. Dream job?

I don't know about dream job but I want to be in a house in the mountains with a goddamn goat and a chicken telling capitalism to fuck off and drawing funky little gay dudes (and funky little gay robots)

I'll come back to dream job when my head doesn't feel like a can of spaghetti

No pressure tags: @she-toadmask @transingthoseformers