#apparently this is the face he makes when geno scores

[ehghtyseven]

in the room: keep looking up

[alsparaarchive]

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑰𝒕 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒅 / Alex & Sid

Date: July 5, 2015 Location: Vancouver Rooftop Bar; The World Cup Celebration

Summary: The first time they ever met. 

Date Started: January 31, 2021 Date Completed: still in progress

Sidney He was still somewhere in the middle of getting the confetti that had somehow wedged itself into his right earlobe loose, when Gino had snuck in around him; two girls tucked underneath both his arms, and said something about a party? And, since Sid was still half-deafened by half-an-inch of coloured paper he was forced to lean back in and get the Russian to repeat himself. “Did you say a party?” It was confirmed with a nod and a grin that could’ve taken out the two women still standing beside his friend… “Okay… sure.” The brunette had been hesitant to say yes... First, this was Gino... the Russian had a history of getting the boys to go to parties with him only to find out that once they got there it was just a couple of girls, a couch, and a whole lot of trouble just waiting to happen. Second, his recent break-up with Kathy still felt… raw. Which he knew was why Gino and Kris had him in Vancouver right now watching the Women’s World Cup… distraction was key, right? Not something that either one of them had ever said directly to his face or anything, but the tickets that had presented themselves at exactly that time and to a sport he’d never really had an affinity for, definitely had. And yet… somehow… Gino had kept him from backing out… which was saying a lot of the Russian’s powers of persuasion and probably also a lot about why the Cold War had taken so damn long to come to an end. There was a long line out the restaurant door, but Gino said he had the gold ticket… which had Kris asking if he meant the golden ticket? Gino nodded—making Sidney laugh despite the fact he hated doing the line cut thing, but it wasn’t like they were taking up seats in the restaurant anyway. No, apparently there was some private thing happening on the roof top with their invitees tonight. The deal was, somehow Gino had scored himself an invite to the USA Women’s Soccer Team’s celebratory party via Twitter. Which of course had Sidney from the moment he’d found out till the moment he’d walked up the stairs and sighted a couple of the girls’ he’d seen on the big jumbo screen earlier, doubting. /Sorry Gino/. Suddenly, it was like most eyes in the room were on them as Sidney offered up a big of wave and Gino held out his arms and said USA, USA, USAAAAAA… and okay, it was bad. It was really bad, but at least the atmosphere had cracked, and the bouncers weren’t making any sort of headway towards them… still… Sidney couldn’t help but feel out of place as he walked over to the bar and asked for a drink… bumping shoulders with a girl as he did… “uh, sorry…” he stopped. He recognised her. You didn’t have to be a big soccer fan to recognise the face of Alex Morgan… “maybe I should be buying you a drink…” okay that had come out bad… he internally and externally cringed… “I mean for your big win today…”

Alex The aftermath of winning the World Cup was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, not only for Alex but all her teammates it seemed and almost none of them were on the same ride all ebbing and flowing at different times. There was the high of winning sure but coming to terms with the fact that it was over and finally being able to breathe a sigh of relief after how emotionally and physically taxing the journey had been made for a very strange experience the forward couldn't have possibly prepared herself for. She didn't know what she wanted to do more, party or sleep — for days! "Oh no, baby horse, you're coming!" Her teammate, mentor, and current roommate insisted when Alex even so much as hinted at the idea. She knew she would ultimately end up going but damn was that bed calling her name. "Yeah, yeah," was all she replied with while giving the blonde a smirk Abby could only see through the younger girl's reflection in the mirror as she brushed out her damp hair after showering a little bit earlier to get all the beer and champagne from the celebration in the locker room out of her hair. One of Alex's favorite part about being on the USWNT was how completely badass all the women were and how they could go from being a sweaty mess on the pitch to looking like a million dollars at the drop of a hat. Everyone looked stunning, dressed to the nines as they rolled up to the five star Vancouver rooftop bar that promised to be the perfect backdrop to a crazy evening. She was only on her second French martini when she heard some ruckus going on by the entrance, a man's voice cheering them on but she barely paid it half a mind as she was too busy being amused by Kelley challenging one of the bartenders to a game of beer pong. Only she could somehow finesse her way into getting him to push two tables together and craft the perfect makeshift set up. The defender would go on and on about how she could take out all the guys at the frat parties she went to back in college and now was her time to shine to prove (mostly to herself) that she still had it. Alex only stayed because she somehow got roped into being Kelley's partner while Chaney paired with the bartender. She wanted a chill night, no competitions, but when faced with one there was no way she was going to back down, she WAS Alex Morgan after all. To no surprise they won the first round and in a desperate attempt to get out of playing the second she grabbed their teammate Sidney who just happened to be walking by. "You play, I need to pee," was her lame excuse but at least it worked. It was that time of night where everyone was still on their way to getting drunk so no one was too crazy yet but Alex knew the line would be crossed very soon and she was making bets in her mind on who would be the first to get there as she waited for the bartender from the bar at the other end of the place to make her drink. "Oh —" was her original reaction to being bumped, bringing her mind back from wherever it had managed to go off to. An eyebrow cocked at his words as she tried but failed to let the smirk take over her features. "How very generous of you to offer to pay for me at an open bar," the striker chuckled playfully. It took her a moment in the dim lighting but she finally recognized him and while it was a nice surprise she had no idea how he managed to get himself here, to this party of all places but she figured he was Canadian and must be a fan or something. Who was going to say no to letting Sidney Crosby in the door? He was probably even more of a big deal here then in the states so it made sense, at least in her mind. "Thank you, though... for the sentiment anyway." Her hand was soon occupied by her martini glass and she wasted no time in taking a sip. "So tell me, what's the great Sidney Crosby's poison of choice?"

Sidney For those who knew him, Sidney Crosby was a bit of an anomaly. Unlike most who’d come up through the usual college/junior league pipeline at such a young age to only later be spat out by either the league or themselves for ‘poor’ behaviour choices, the twenty-eight-year-old had remained tied to his past and the straight and narrow upbringing that had come along with it. A lot of journalists had it pinned down to growing up in Nova Scotia, where the population never quite teetered pass 30,000. Or even his father—who’d had his own history with the league. What they all eventually worked out though was Sidney just wasn’t what they’d expected him to be. Young, talented … sure… but the guy that was also going to give them all some sort of titillating headline… no. What Sidney was… was hockey. There wasn’t a moment on or off the ice he wasn’t thinking or breathing hockey. So, when he’d been forced into a bit of a set-up by a couple of friends and met Kathy… things had unexpectedly taken a turn for the young brunette. It was just… one minute there was a hockey and then there was… hockey and her and it had been a lot. His sister Taylor had told him ‘that’s love,’ which was pretty weird because he was almost certain it wasn’t love… at least not yet, but she’d always been a little weird. A comment that had earned him a hit by one of his mother’s handstitched patch work pillows… thanks Taylor. It had taken Sidney a whole year to work out that she was probably right. The words escaping him one night across the dinner table while the two had been picking olives out of a garden salad the two had just ordered with a family size pizza. His stomach had done something that someone less logical might’ve compared to a somersault when Kathy eyes had widened, and her hand had found his neck and pulled him towards her… and for a moment there Sidney had honestly thought that would be it. That would be everything he’d ever need in life, Kathy and hockey… but as the years started to go by and his friends, teammates and family started to expand their families, Sidney realised he wanted more. Kids had never really been a topic of discussion for the two… they’d been young and busy and maybe it was wrong to assume that Kathy would just want them whenever he did. First, she’d pointed out that they weren’t even married yet... which Sidney hadn’t quite got, because wasn’t that all implied with the question? That marriage was part of the package too. Which had really upset her, because after nearly nine years this was how he was going to propose. It was all down here from there and before Sidney even realised what had happened it was just hockey and no Kathy again. There had been a few attempts to make amends and even a couple of goes at trying again... but in the end it was over. All nine years of it. Which is a lot in numbers. One hundred and eight months, four hundred and sixty-nine weeks, three thousand and eighty-five days… it’s a lot and despite Geno and Kris’ best efforts to cheer him up, Sidney was still not-quite feeling it… At least until he found himself next to FIFA World Cup champion Alex Morgan and suddenly there was something to smile about, because right of course the bar was an open one tonight… despite it… Sidney leaned forward, getting the barkeeper’s attention and ordering whatever Alex appeared to be drinking tonight… his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out a twenty and slipping it into the ‘tip jar.’ A smile on his face as he let it fall out of his fingers… “drink bought…” Her question had him debating a little. He’d originally slid up ready to order ‘just’ a beer, but now that he was here and consciously aware that this was a celebration, he settled with a whiskey straight, “what did you have me pegged as? An Apple Martini kind of guy?” He knew a lot of shit got talked about him. He was emotional… passionate... which had its critics. Some of it got to him… most of it didn’t. “What’s got you so hooked on those…” Whatever she was drinking gave off a fruity aroma. Definitely not something he’d usually drink, but the night was a warm one and something about the whole thing was mildly tempting… though thinking about it, if Gino saw him drinking up some pink cocktail… he’d never live it down. He could hear the Russian’s loud laughs echoing across the patio, but where the giant’s exact location was amongst everyone else was still a mystery… besides Sidney wasn’t exactly thinking of leaving his spot at the bar anytime soon. Though, maybe he’d trapped Alex here with his lame gesture to ‘buy’ her drink and all these questions about fruit cocktails when where all she really wanted to be was out there with her teammates on the makeshift dance floor. “Hey, sorry… if you need to go…”

Alex The brunette tilted her head in gratitude with a smile once the second drink was on the bar in front of her and the twenty had fallen into the tip jar. She didn't really know how to take it but she figured just accepting it and not making a big deal was the best way to go. Alex sat there, taking another sip of her martini, silently berating the butterflies in her stomach that she hadn't felt if not since college then honestly, never. She was married, newly, freshly married, the instantaneous spark and magnetism to the man next to her was completely inappropriate and yet there she was taking a step closer to him, closing what seemed to be too big of a gap for two people engaged in conversation. She had never been one to stray from any relationship but especially not the one she was eight years deep and now fully committed to. The striker had gone through what felt like everything with Servando by her side; He saw her career grow from the very beginning of when she started to become a big deal in college. He spent countless nights helping her study before a big test or running drills before a big game. It was easy to do life with him, she enjoyed it, but even at their most passionate she never felt that SPARK everyone talked about and chalked it up to being nothing but superficial and fictional anyway. Love was about friendship, the kind of bond you didn't want to let go of, (right?) and Servando fulfilled those requirements to a T. Alex had her passion and it was soccer, in her mind that's really all she needed, finding that in a man had never been a priority. "Are you making fun of my martini?" she teased after he mocked being an apple martini kind of guy. "No... whiskey. You have yet to surprise me, Crosby." Even she could barely recognize the flirty tone in her voice, which caused yet another sip of her drink. Hopefully he'd just think she was eager to celebrate her win, not that she was someone who drank her alcohol a bit too fast. "Oh, these? My sister got me hooked on them a few years ago, they're great for when you're out and want to pace yourself but still have something delicious. I was tempted to stick to the champagne but I refuse to be the first one wasted and miss out on all the amusement of watching everyone else get there first." The soccer player laughed a little at her own words. Her eyes scanned the crowd for a moment before her green-blue hues were right back on him. "No, don't worry. You're actually saving me from a very grueling game of beer pong. Kel's over there trying to relive her glory days. I think your friend might've taken over the poor bartender's spot." This team was nothing if not a good time, she was sure he would discover that in no time. "Not your thing either? Or am I the one keeping you? Either way..." Alex sat her glass back down on the bar and carefully slid it over in his direction, "you're not getting away without trying it." Her head motioned to the drink waiting to see if he would take the bait.

Sidney He laughed at her accusation. His hand lifting up in apology as he took a sip from his glass, only lowering it once she’d pointed out just how unoriginal he was for his own drink of choice tonight. It was weird but he was slightly mad at himself now, for not going against the grain earlier and ordering one of whatever she was having. Somehow ‘surprising’ Alex Morgan seemed appealing right now. Which was weird because he’d only been standing there beside her for less than ten minutes and it seemed strange to care so much about something like that… He supposed it had been years since he’d slid up next to a pretty girl at a bar and allowed himself to look… and it wasn’t even like he was doing that, right? Right. It was just— he was at a party (somewhat uninvited) and he was being friendly. That’s what this was. “Sorry to disappoint…” his smile twitched up as he watched her start talking about the drink her fingers were currently wrapped around. He heard a few buzz words that would’ve allowed him to stitch together a proper reply if she’d expected it once she was finished, but really, he’d just been watching her talk and get excited about something like a drink and he couldn’t help but think it was all kind of cute really. Here was ‘the’ Alex Morgan the girl he’d just watched own it on the soccer pitch and here she also was rambling about some drink she’d come accustom to ordering… yeah, champagne has a way of getting you to do some pretty outrageous things too…” he thought about the first time he’d filled the Stanley cup with it and drunk more than he’d ever had in his life. That had been a night. His head getting cloudy just thinking about it—though maybe that was less about the champagne and more about the fact that Alex had just said that he, Sidney Crosby, was saving the USA superstar from some game of beer pong? He looked across to where she’d mentioned it was going on... seeing not just Gino, but Kris there and two teammates from Alex’s team on either side of them and the table… of course. The twenty-eight-year-old was about as interested in the commotion happening over there as he was in the weather back home in Nova Scotia… turning his attention back to Alex instead and smiling when she passed her drink along the bar towards him. It didn’t have to travel very far, somehow without even realising he’d been doing it, he’d closed a lot of the previous space that had once existed between them… “well since you’ve had a few drinks now… I know you’re not secretly moonlighting as a Philly fan with the goal to poison me tonight, so…” he scooped it up. The glass dwarfing in his hands as he did… “mmm…” he could’ve avoided the lipstick and drank from the other side, but instead he stuck his mouth on top and took his sip. The hit was instant. The fruity taste covering most of his tongue, but the hint of her lipstick was there too… “yeah, so that’s not too bad…” he lowered the glass, sliding it back over towards her, before doing the same with his own glass… “your turn.” The thing about whiskey if you got the expensive stuff the taste had different notes to it. Something Alex might not have realised and something he decided to add to convince her, “I’m sure you’ve tried whiskey, but this one… this one is really good…” The thing was, he was pretty sure he just wanted her to drink from his glass in order to leave that tell-tale sign of lipstick behind that went ahead and reminded him with every next sip he had coming his way that she’d been there… which was insane. He knew that. He wasn’t crazy. He just… didn’t care.

[spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia]

SpongeGuy Reviews Every Disney Sitcom Ever!: Pair of Kings (1.1): “Return of the Kings”

I have a new least favorite Disney show!

Strap yourselves in folks, this is one heck of a ride!

Pair of Kings is a Disney XD sitcom from like 2010 I think? I don’t respect it enough to give it a year. This hellspawn of Satan’s BRO son who thinks that putting Chad on his resume is a surefire way to get a job is about two BRO’S: Brady (played by Jeremy from Phineas and Ferb, who has seen better shows clearly) and Boomer (I don’t know who plays him, but i sure as hell don’t care!). Brady Bunch and Ok Boomer are twins (They’re bi-racial, which is neat, but this kind of representation can only hurt) who learn that they are actually the sons of the king and queen of “Random Island so we can make Island Natives are weird jokes without offending anyone in particular” Island, and they are next in line for the throne, hence the title “Pair of fucking idiots” I MEAN “Pair of Kings”.

The rest of the show is as stupid as it sounds. Basically, there’s an island native named Mason who is Mr. Moseby from Suite Life, but if he was forced to be blinded to their idiocy, his daughter Mikayla who is every boring female lead in a show like this, you know, the one who is actually serious and doesn’t want to be with these bozo’s but the show will force her to like them because she TOTALLY doesn’t deserve anything better, and of course an evil CGI fish and the 12 year old boy who owns him and is trying to kill our leads, which according to the laugh track, means that Attempted Murder is fnuny. Huh.

Ok, i can only describe this show for so long before i die. Let’s get to the 45 MINUTE Pilot. Yes, I saw 45 minutes of this. And this is apparently the best we get of this show, since they put all their money into hooking us with this pilot.

Dear lord.

Summery: 

Brady (Mitchel Musso) and Boomer (Doc Shaw) are twin teenagers living in Chicago with their aunt Nancy and uncle Bill, as their parents are deceased. Brady and Boomer are unaware that they are destined to become the next kings of an island nation known as Kinkow. After they are bullied by the toughest guys in their high school, Mason (Geno Segers) and a group of warriors from Kinkow come to bring them home. Brady and Boomer break the island's sacred ruby, causing Kinkow's volcano to erupt. Their cousin Lanny (Ryan Ochoa) tricks them into going to get another sacred ruby so they would die on the dark side of Kinkow, allowing him to become king. While they are on the dark side, Brady and Boomer are caught by a tribe called the Tarantula People, but they are protected by the bat medallion that the Tarantula People obey. Brady and Boomer obtain the sister ruby and save the kingdom. However, the chain that controlled the Tarantula People falls off Brady's neck.

COMEDY: 0 Out of 5

I doubt this shocks anyone. The comedy of Pair of Kings makes one miss the intelligent musings of a conservative Albatross with a hernia in the middle of Sunday Church. The jokes are like The Incredible’s Hulk’s Jock Strap after a s mile jog towards the savannah: They stink so bad I almost gave up all hope for humanity and started planning an escape route from the planet. All manner of wit and charm is sucked out like a single strand of spaghetti through a straw as thin as my patience for the leads, and every character quirk is so basic and cliche that the old people’s home rejected their application. If I were to write blindfolded and and upside down, with half my keyboard letters missing and a sadistic autocorrect feature installed onto my PC, I would still write something better than the humor of Pair of Kings, because then I would have written nothing at all, and nothing is at least nothing. Pair of Kings exists; may God have mercy on our souls.

...

So in short, it’s not funny. I smiled in pain maybe once at an Overprotective dad joke, and that’s about it.

CHARACTERS: 0 Out of 5

Imagine your typical Disney Channel sitcom. Now think of the worst version of that. Now think of the Dorkly video based on that version.

Pair of Kings is 10 times worse.

The characters are bare bones at best. In fact, they are invertebrates, and not the funny absorbent ones like Spongebob. Their personalities are so 1 dimensional and obvious that if I were to show you pics of them you could tell me their entire biographies. The leads replicate an early 2010′s trend of being two BROS who keep doing stupid things, and that’s their personality. They also replicate a 2020 trend of making me wish the apocalypse was over. They are just BROS. Whenever they have even a moment of quote un quote “DRAMA” they undercut it with humor like a wet fart at a funeral reception. The supporting cast is like my life: Barely functional and clearly inept to deal with this shit right now. Mason is “The Native Overprotective Dad”; Mikayala is “DA GIRL”; Lanny is “Scar but boring”; The CGI Fish exists.

Can my pain end now?

STORY AND HEART: 1 Out of 5

I’ll make this quick: They have the GALL of pretending that OK BOOMER and Brady Bunch have felt sorrow when they almost destroy the island. They have the GALL to have them say that they will stop being kings if that’s what they want. I’m not saying they’re incapable of such feelings, but I guess this puts it best: At one point in this ACTION-COMEDY-DRAMA of sorts, Brady Bunch says he feels bad about the kids who could die on the island. He hears the volcano burst again, and says “Good Luck Kids” to run off. Sure, this is a typical sitcom joke, but if this show wants me to take it seriously that they mean well, they just shot themsleves in the foot.

The point is for set design and tbf not too bad CGI for a teen sitcom. But I can’t stand a show that lies to my face and pretends that these two are any good. Pair of Kings? More like Pair of END ME END ME END ME.

FINAL SCORE: 1 Out of 15

Bunk’d is next. May god have mercy on my soul.

EVERY SHOW RANKED:

1. Good Luck Charlie

2. Pair of Kings

EVERY EPISODE RANKED (PAIR OF KINGS):

“Return of the Kings” (S1 E1)

EVERY EPISODE RANKED (IN GENERAL):

1. “Study Date” (Good Luck Charlie)

2. “Return of the Kings (Pair of Kings)

EVERY CHARACTER RANKED (PAIR OF KINGS):

1. Mason

2. Mikayla

3. Evil Fish

4. Lonny

5.Boomer

6. Brady

EVERY CHARACTER RANKED (IN GENERAL FOR SITCOMS):

1. PJ Duncan

2. Teddy Duncan

3. Gabe Duncan

4. Bon Duncan

5. Amy Duncan

6. Charlie Duncan

7. Spencer Walsh

8. Mrs. Dabney

9. Emmett

10. Mason

11. Mikayla

12. Evil Fish

13. Lonny

14. Boomer

15. Brady

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Making History

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

Requested: Nope, I had a dream about it and couldn’t get the idea out of my head

Tagging: @aw-hawkeye @caswinchester2000 @butcanijustnot

Fandom: NHL  

Relationship: Brotherly; Marc-André Fleury x Reader. Platonic; Kris Letang x Reader. Platonic; Sidney Crosby x Reader.

Summary: The Reader is a three time Olympic gold medalist for Team Canada and the little sister of Marc-André Fleury. After Fleury and Murray both get injured during a game, the Penguins have no choice but to put her into the game half way into the second period, making her the first woman to play in the regular season of the NHL.

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: Minor character injuries

Disclaimer: This takes place when Fleury was still a Penguin.

Comments: I know this wouldn’t happen but this is a work of fiction so.

You stood watching from one of the arena suites as Murray was helped off the ice, a hand clamped over your mouth. A trainer had a towel pressed to Murray’s throat and through the zoom in displayed on the jumbo screen, you could see that there was quite a bit of blood.

There was six minutes left in the second period, practically half the game left to play and the Penguins were out both goalies.

You were in Pittsburgh to visit your brother, Marc-André, the past week and had been to the last two of his games since they were both at home. And two minutes left in the first period, Marc-André had decided to poke check, which wasn’t unusual. Marc-André was a goalie who really liked to poke check. What was surprising was that after he poke checked, he didn’t get up.

A trainer was sent onto the ice and he helped your brother off the ice and back into the dressing room. The Penguins sent Matt Murray into the game and you made your way to the dressing room to see your brother and found out that he had broken his arm. His arm was swelling pretty badly and the he had to get his arm set properly so he was going to have to go to the hospital.

You asked him he wanted you to go to the hospital with you, but he told you to stay and enjoy the game. So, you went back to watch the game from the suite.

And with six minutes left in the second period, Murray took a skate to the throat. Letang slid in front of the net, trying to stop the Leafs from scoring, and in the process, knocked Matthews down, causing his skate to go up and clip Murray under his mask.

The play was stopped and Murray was lying face first on the ice.

You stood up and brought your hand up to cover your mouth. You didn’t know what happened but, you knew that if Murray couldn’t play that the Penguins were out a goalie. You didn’t know what they were going to do. There was still half a game left, they couldn’t play with an empty net.

Were they going to be forced to forfeit?

Were they going to be forced to dress one of their other players as a goalie and put them in net?

Your heart was beating like crazy when you saw the blood as Murray was helped off the ice. There was no way that he would be able to continue to play and your brother had already been taken to the hospital.

You watched as the ref went over to the Penguins bench. The whole area was wondering what was going to happen and so were the other Penguins.

You saw the coach ask Letang something and he nodded. The coach gestured behind him and Letang got off the ice and headed back into the dressing room. Crosby looked at the coach like he was crazy and your heart started to go crazy.

Letang was their best defenceman, putting him in net was the craziest idea you could fathom. Without a proper goalie in net, if they were going to try to have a not so horrible loss, they were going to need him on the ice as their defence.

You were pulled from your thoughts by your phone ringing. You pulled it out of your pocket and saw Kris’ name. “Hello?”

“I need you to come to the dressing room.” Kris said frantically.

You nodded even though he couldn’t see you and started to collect your things. “Okay, I’ll be there.” You said before hanging up.

You played for team Canada in the 2006, 2010 and 2014 Olympics as their starting goalie. Being a goalie was something that ran in the Fleury blood apparently. You figured that Kris was asking for help to figure out how to be a goalie and you were more than happy to help.

You walked into the dressing room to see him pacing.

“Why aren’t you putting on the equipment?” You asked him.

Kris stopped and looked at you with wide eyes. “Why wouldIbe putting the equipment on?”

You looked at him confused. “Because you’re going into the net? That’s why you called me?”

Kris laughed nervously and shook his head. “No, I’m not going into the net…”

You swallowed. “What do you mean…”

Kris took a deep breath and walked over to put his hands on your shoulders. “(Y/N), Iam not going into the net. Youare.”

You started to laugh hysterically, but when you saw that Kris wasn’t laughing, you stopped. “You’re serious?”

Kris nodded.

“But I can’t. I’m not a Penguin, I didn’t sign anything and—and I’m a woman!”

Kris shrugged. “We really don’t have a choice. If they ask you, you say that you signed a one-day contract, okay? We’ll have you sign one on intermission. I know that you have none of your equipment, so you’re going to have to wear Marc-André’s, but—“

“Everything will be too big and I haven’t even played or practiced in weeks!”

“You’re a three time Olympic gold medalist. That’s more gold medals than anyone on this team. You playing for the first time in weeks in equipment that doesn’t fit will be better than anyone out on that bench, okay? You can do it.” Kris continued, speaking to you softly.

You nodded and sat down under your brother’s name. His equipment was still out since he left to go to the hospital. You pulled off the jersey you were wearing and hung it up on the hooks before shrugging off your sweater and kicking your shoes off.

“Do you wan—“ Kris started.

“Don’t leave, please.” You told him and he nodded, moving to sit at Murray’s spot since Murray had also left to be brought to the hospital for stitches.

You got the pants and skates on and were working on putting on the blockers when there was a knock at the door. Kris got up and opened the door a little. You heard him taking but couldn’t make it out.

“Can Sid come in?” He asked you, pulling his head back into the room.

“Yeah.” You said without looking up. You were trying to get everything on as quickly and tightly as possible.

Sidney walked into the room and stood in front of you. “How are you doing?”

You laughed. “I’m about to go out into a NHL game wearing equipment that doesn’t fit after not playing for weeks. I’m doing great.”

Sidney forced a smile and knelt down to talk to you. “We’re going to be focusing on defence. We still have half a game left so we’re just going to focus on playing defence and trying to limit the amount of shots on net. Everyone out on the bench said they’re willing to throw themselves between the puck and you, okay?”

You finished the last tie and did a few movements in them to see how they felt. They were big and bulky, but they weren’t loose so they would do. You took a deep breath and looked up at Sid.

“My brother has one gold medal from an Olympics he never played in, I have three from three Olympics I played every game in. And I’ve stopped shots from both of you.” Sid nodded.

“Listen,” you continued. “You’re tied right now. You have a chance to win this, but you can’t if you’re focused on playing defence. I’m a good goalie and if the refs allow this, if, then I’m going to become the first woman to ever play a regular season game in the NHL ever. I don’t want to lose this game. So, I need you to go out there and be Sidney Crosby and score some goals.”

Sidney smiled and nodded and you looked over at Kris. “And you, you are the best defenceman on this team so I need you to be damn good at your job so that players like Sid and Geno can do their jobs and score, okay?”

Kris smiled and nodded. You nodded back and sat back down on the bench and started to put on the torso protection. Sid got up and left the room, leaving you with Kris. After getting on all the equipment, you looked over at Kris. “What jersey am I supposed to wear?”

“Didn’t you wear your jersey to the game?” He asked you and nodded towards it.

“Right I did.”

Kris nodded. “Then wear that one.”

You nodded and pulled it on. It was tight against the bulkiness of your brother’s equipment, but it would do. You grabbed his mask and pulled it on. It was a little loose, but you could manage.

You took a deep breath and stood. Kris smiled at you and patted you on the mask. “You ready?”

You shook your head. “Not in the slightest.”

He tapped you on the shoulder before putting his gloves back on. “The equipment manager will give you a stick when you walk out, okay?”

You nodded and Kris walked out of the dressing room and started to make his way back to the ice and you followed him, your heart beating harder than it had ever before.

“What are the penguins going to do?”

“Unless they happen to have a third goalie in the building, I don’t think they have a choice but to put one of their players in the net. And since Letang left the bench and hasn’t returned, I would guess that player is Kris Letang.”

“It’s a little foolish to have your best defenceman suit up as a stand in goalie, don’t you think?”

“I do, yeah.”

“Oh! And here they com—? Letang is still dressed as usual? Who’s in the goalie gear then? Did the Penguins really have a third goalie in the building?”

The equipment manager gave you a stick and you took it with shaking hands. The guys cleared a path for you and you stepped onto the ice, testing the skates for a second before turning to face the bench to hear what the coach had to say.

You didn’t have to see the jumbo screen to know that you were on it.

“Who is that? And why does his jersey say Fleury?”

“Oh my god…”

“What?”

“Marc-André has a sister who’s a goalie. She’s been the starting goalie for team Canada for the past thee Olympics, bringing home three gold medals. Her number is 92, just like that jersey.”

“You don’t think…”

“I do.”

“Are they even allowed to put her in?”

“We’re going to play defence for the rest of the period, try to keep the score tied. I want you to freeze every shot you can. This way you’ll be able to adjust to everything and they’ll hopefully think that we’re going to be sticking strictly to defence, then in the third period, we’ll hit them with some offence, okay?” The coach said to you.

You nodded. “Sounds good.”

“How are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m fine. I’ll do my best, sir.” You replied.

Before he had a chance to reply, the ref came over and started to talk to you and him. There was an argument between the coach and the ref and you were pretty sure that they weren’t going to let you play and that one of the boys on the bench were going to have to suit up, but the Penguins had “signed” you as a team member, you were dressed and they had no other goalies.

They had no reason why they couldn’t let you play.

The ref nodded and skated away from the bench. The crowd started to cheer. The Crosby and Letang lines got off the bench and the Leafs put their men on the ice. You took a deep breath and skated over to your net.

“In net for your Pittsburgh Penguins, in her NHL debut, is number 92, (Y/N) Fleury!” You heard over the loud speakers and the people started to cheer more.

As soon as you reached your net, you dropped down immediately and did a quick few movements to get the feel of things. The ref came over to you. “Are you good?”

You pushed yourself up and nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.”

He nodded and went over where the face off was. The puck dropped and you became the first woman to play in an NHL game. You couldn’t help but smile and take a deep, calming breath.

You were in the net in a high stress game. This is what you did best.

In the final six minutes of the game, the Leafs had seven shots on net and you froze all of them. Your team also iced the puck five times, your defence took another three shots for you, and the Penguins had only two shots on the Leaf’s net. The Leafs kept shooting high on you since you were smaller than the normal goalie, but you were used to that and could make a wicked glove save, which you did a few times.

The second period came to a close and the game remained tied 2-2.

You released a deep breath and skated to the bench where the guys greeted you with big smiles and head pats. They let you off the ice first and followed you to the locker room.

In the locker room, you got a round of applause, which the coach allowed before quieting everyone and going into the plans for the third period.

“We have to play cleanly, okay? We can’t afford to be short handed. We have twenty minutes left, all we need is one goal. We can do that, okay? (Y/N), you doing okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.”

He nodded. “We’ve been protecting you, now going to go into this period we’re not going to be protecting you, not the way they’ve been for the last few minutes.”

You nodded your head. “I understand.”

He nodded and went on to talk about their offensive game. Then when he was done, the intermission almost over and everyone had to return to ice. You let all the guys go before walking out yourself with only Sidney behind you.

Once on the ice, you skated over to your crease and started to scratch the ice up before getting into position.

With the offence actually playing offence this period, you faced a lot more shots, but you handled it, making some incredible saves if you could say so. And, surprisingly, a lot of the game was actually played in the Leaf’s end with the Penguins managing a lot of shots on the Leafs’ goal. One of which that went in.

Sidney had scored and you closed your eyes for a second as you relaxed a bit more. There were ten minutes left in the game and you were now up one. The game continued and the more the minutes ticked down, the more frantic the Leafs got which made them sloppy and easy to stop.

Since Sid scored, the Penguins had fallen back onto defence, wanting to protect their one goal lead over the Leafs, which was fine by you.

The time kept going down and near the end, the Leafs had pulled their goalie. You were now facing six Leafs players and basically had five defencemen. During that time, Kris and Sid never left the ice.

You kept making saves and before you knew it, the announcers were announcing the final minute of play. In those final seconds, the Penguins just kept icing the puck, looking to run the time down and keep the puck away from the net.

There was fifteen seconds left on the clock when Sidney scored an empty net goal, putting the Penguins up 4-2 and forcing the Leafs to put Anderson back in.

The final seconds of the game ran out and the buzzer sounded and you released the biggest breath of your life. The Penguins came off the bench and swarmed you, patting you on the head and such. Kris and Sidney were the last members to come up to you.

Kris smiled and patted you on the head and shoulders. “I told you that you could do it.”

Your smiled widened and you nodded. Kris patted you once again before stepping aside for Sidney. Pressed his helmet to yours and did his best to hug you. “You’re incredible. You did it and I’m sure your brother was watching the whole thing.”

You smiled and used your stick to pat him back. Sid patted you again before pulling back and skating you back towards the bench. He let you off the ice before following you down the tunnel.

You went to go back to the dressing room to start taking all the equipment off, but the coach stopped you.

“What?” You asked.

“You can’t take your shit off yet.” He said.

“Why?”

He smiled. “Because you’re the first star of the game.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head in disbelief. Sidney came up to stand beside you and patted you on the back. “Congratulations, you deserve it.”

“Thank you?” You said, still unsure.

He smiled. “Just wait here and when they call your name, you’ll go out there, skate in a small circle, raise your stick, then come back off the ice and you can go to the dressing room and take your shit off, okay?”

You nodded. “Thank you.”

“The first star of the game is from your Pittsburgh Penguins, number 92, (Y/N) Fleury!” The announcer said and you came out of the tunnel and stepped onto the ice. You raised your stick and skated in a small circle, just like Sid said before stepping off the ice and heading back down the tunnel, a smile bright on your lips.

As you walked to towards the locker room, you could hear the announcer announce the second star of the game: Sidney Crosby.

Once you got back to the locker room, the team gave you a standing ovation and Kris came over and held up his phone. “You’re trending on like everything.” He said with a big smile.

[icebirdsmateforlife]

it is, apparently, a date

Sid is always around. Geno doesn't mind.

(A/N: I apologise for the excessive use of commas. They really wanted to hang out in this story and I didn't have the heart to send them all away, but hopefully they found some good homes.)

AO3 link

----

It starts in January and Geno doesn’t even notice it at first because they’ve always been hanging out a lot. Going to dinner together, just the two of them, watching games together on off days, little things like that. They’ve been doing that since they were rookies and there’s nothing really unusual about it. So when the invitations increase in frequency, it takes him about three weeks to catch on.

They go to dinner on a road trip, and two nights later Sid is over at his house to watch a movie. Three days later they spend their off day together just hanging out, doing nothing in particular.

Sid is just...always around. And it’s not that Geno minds, exactly, because if it were up to him, he’d have Sid around all the time, every day, as much as possible without looking greedy. He’s learned to live with it by now, as you do when you’ve had a crush on somebody for ten years and not much hope of it ever being reciprocated. So no, he doesn’t mind. It’s just a little weird, is all. He doesn’t know what changed, but he’ll take it.

Well, okay. He does have some idea what may have changed, because Sid has always been a good friend and he’s probably trying to keep Geno company now that he’s single again. Single again for good this time, probably. And Sid doesn’t want Geno to be lonely and sad, because that’s just the kind of friend Sid is. And Geno is lonely. And he is a little sad, too, even if he was the one who ended it. Being alone still sucks. So he keeps hanging out with Sid, and it’s good.

“I brought dinner,” Sid says as Geno opens the door, and holds up a stack of Tupperware containers.

“You have leftover pasta?” Geno asks, taking the containers so Sid can take off his shoes and jacket.

“No,” Sid says. “I made it fresh. Thought it would save us the trouble of cooking later.”

That’s so sweet and thoughtful, Geno smiles all the way to the kitchen where he puts their dinner in the fridge to heat up later. “What you want to do?” he asks Sid, who is following him on socked feet.

Sid shrugs and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I don’t know,” he says. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure,” Geno agrees, and follows Sid, who knows his way around Geno’s house as if he’s living here by now.

***

The restaurant is small and cosy and apparently Sid called ahead and made a reservation, because they have a private little nook at the far end, away from prying eyes and fans who just want a quick picture.

“Is nice,” Geno says.

Sid’s cheeks look a little red in the soft glow of the candle. “It had good reviews online,” he says. “The steak is supposed to be pretty good.”

They both order it and it’s perfect, and Sid gives him a little smile as their feet knock together under the small table but he doesn’t pull away.

Geno steers the conversation to dissecting their power play, because suddenly he just feels like reminding himself that this is not that kind of a dinner date. It’s hard to remember in the setting. But it’s still a nice evening.

***

They have three days between home games and Sid insists on barbecuing in his backyard. It’s not really warm enough according to Geno’s standards, but Sid had sounded excited about it over the phone and Geno can never say no when Sidney sounds excited. So he bundles up in two sweaters and his warmest coat and stands shivering next to Sid as their dinner sizzles on the grill.

“This is nice,” Sid says. “The first barbecue of the year.”

Geno tries to stop his teeth from chattering as he nods, stuffing his hands into his armpits for warmth. “Nice,” he agrees. “Cold.”

“It’s not that cold,” Sid argues, and Geno smiles.

Sid at least takes pity on him once their food is ready and relocates them to his dining room. He even makes them tea so Geno can warm up his hands by wrapping them around the mug.

“Rest of team didn’t want?” Geno asks around a forkful of potato salad.

Sid shrugs. “I didn’t ask them.”

“Oh.”

“I just wanted to spend some time with you.”

Geno grins. “Best friend time,” he says, and Sid gives him a warm look.

“Yeah,” he says softly.

They end up sprawled all over Sid’s couch, having more tea and talking until after midnight, and Sid nudges Geno’s leg with his foot as Geno yawns widely. “Stay over,” he says. “You’re too tired to drive.”

Geno blinks at him sleepily. “I’m not bring any stuff,” he points out.

“I’m sure I can find you a pair of pyjamas that fit,” Sid assures him. “And a spare toothbrush. We can make a big breakfast tomorrow before practice.”

Geno can’t hold back the grin. “If I don’t know better,” he says, “I’m think maybe you try seduce me little bit.”

Sid laughs and shakes his head and kicks him again. “Yeah, right,” he says.

The ache in Geno’s chest is one he knows well by now, and it’s not unpleasant tonight. Maybe he can never have what he wants, but he can have this.

***

He knows playing the Flyers still makes Sid nervous even after all these years, even if he’d never admit it. So he isn’t too surprised when Sid knocks on his hotel room door that night, looking a tad apprehensive.

“I was just wondering…” he says, waving a hand, shrugging one shoulder, and Geno takes a step back, holding the door open, and waits until Sid steps past him into the room.

“You wanna watch movie?” Geno asks, and Sid smiles gratefully.

“You don’t mind?”

Geno will never, ever mind sitting on a bed with Sid, so close their shoulders are pressed together, watching a documentary about elephants while Sid slowly slides lower and lower on top of the sheets until he falls asleep with his head on Geno’s shoulder.

Geno means to wake him, he really does, but in the end he’s too tired and simply maneuvers them into a more comfortable position and falls asleep too, Sid’s warm breath against his arm and the solid presence of him comforting next to him on the bed.

***

“Good game,” Sid says, still hanging out just outside the locker room when Geno finally walks out - scoring a hat trick meant he hadn’t been able to skip out on a long postgame interview.

“Thanks,” he says, and his heart jumps a little at Sid’s happy smile. Sid is always so happy for him when he plays well. “You not go home yet?”

Sid’s grin is a little lopsided as he stares down at his feet. “I thought...you can say no, but I thought we could go out for a drink. To celebrate.”

“Yes,” Geno agrees immediately.

“Yeah?” Sid sounds hopeful, and Geno, even though he knows better than to torture himself with stupid indulgences, catches Sid’s hand to squeeze it briefly. Sid squeezes back and doesn’t seem to mind.

“Yes,” he says again. “I like that.”

***

He’s all packed up and ready to leave; his cab is going to be here later this afternoon and he’s ready for his summer to begin.

Leaving Pittsburgh for the summer is never too difficult, because he’s looking forward to spending some time at home, travelling a bit, having fun.

This year though he hasn’t seen Sid in three full days and while that is nothing new, nothing he isn’t used to, it makes the prospect of a summer apart look even harder this time. Leaving him. Knowing they’ll be spending an entire summer not being able to hang out. It just seems impossible. He’s become so used to his constant presence, to almost being able to pretend they were...more.

So maybe, he thinks, this separation will be good, after all. Maybe he needs it. He can still feel Sid’s arms around him as they’d hugged goodbye, can remember thinking about how well they fit together, and yeah. He does need to leave. He needs some distance to get his feelings sorted out so he can reset to Best Friend Mode for the beginning of the new season.

He’s making a final round through his house, making sure he’s packed everything he needs, when the doorbell rings.

“Sid?” he asks, baffled, as he opens the door and Sid pushes past him without so much as a hello. “We have plans? I’m thinking -”

“No,” Sid says, spinning around to face him, and Geno looks at him, the door still open behind him. “Sorry. I didn’t - I’m on the way home.”

“Okay,” Geno says. “You forget something here? I’m not find -”

Sid shakes his head, seeming a little impatient. “No, listen,” he says. “I have to catch my flight and I don’t have a lot of time, but I love you, and I just wanted you to know, okay?”

Geno...stares at him, then stares at him a bit more. Then opens his mouth, closes it again, and considers if maybe he’s lost his grasp on English completely. “You -” he manages.

“Anyway,” Sid says, and sighs. “I figured it would be better to just come clean about it, because I don’t want things to be weird between us. You’re important to me. And I thought if I told you now, we’d both have the summer to get over this and, well, to give you time to figure out if we can still be friends.”

I -” Geno blinks at him, and he really, really wishes he could work out what to say, but it’s difficult with his heart beating double time, feelings flooding his chest until it feels like there’s not enough room for air in his lungs. Feelings, a tender sort of hope, and a lot of confusion. He’s still not entirely sure he hasn’t just sidestepped into some parallel universe where all of this would make sense.

“I should go,” Sid says, and he looks almost a little embarrassed as he takes a step forward. “Sorry.”

“No,” Geno says, and steps in his way, shaking his head firmly. “Wait.”

Sid winces. “All right,” he says. “I know I made it weird. I just didn’t want...I thought it wasn’t fair to you if I didn’t tell you, so - I made everything worse, didn’t I? I’m sorry, we can - If you want to stop hanging out. I’ll leave you alone, I’ll figure it out, I’ll -”

“Be quiet,” Geno says, and Sid shuts up, brow furrowed as he blinks up at him.

“What?”

“Shut up so I can say thing to you too?” Geno asks.

Sid looks a little uncomfortable, like he’s expecting Geno to tell him he never wants to see him again, but he nods. “Sure,” he says.

“You love me?”

“Well…” Sid sighs. “Yeah.”

Geno doesn’t know if he should ask, but he just needs to know. “How long?”

Sid hesitates. “Um...a while?”

“A while,” Geno repeats, mostly to wrap his head around this.

Sid shrugs. “Uh,” he says. “Yeah. A few years, I guess?”

Geno almost laughs, he doesn’t know whether it’s out of happiness or frustration. “Years?” he asks.

“Ten, to be exact,” Sid says, and sighs again. “Sorry. I probably should have kept my mouth shut.”

Geno does laugh at that, hiding his face behind his hands, and he can’t make sense of any of the emotions swirling around in his chest. He just knows they’re all good ones. “Dumb,” he says. “So dumb.”

Sid does look a little hurt at that. “Excuse me?” he says.

Geno looks at him, and his heart jumps in his chest. “Most dumb,” he says. “Me too, ten years. We could be married already.”

Sid’s eyes go wide. “You...What?”

Geno bites his lip, but he can’t hold back the happy little laugh that bursts out of him. “We both dumb,” he suggests.

Sid is blushing and his smile is soft and surprised and overwhelmed and happy all at once, as he says, “I guess.”

Geno takes a step forward, and another, and Sid meets him halfway as they finally, finally, kiss, after ten years, with Geno’s front door still open and Sid’s suitcases in his car, Geno’s packed in his foyer.

They miss their flights. But it doesn’t matter much.

An extra few days in Pittsburgh are okay, as are their plans to meet up that summer, with Sid flying out to Russia and then taking Geno back to Nova Scotia with him.

Actually, it’s not just okay. It’s pretty much perfect.

It’s been a decade in the making, after all. But Geno knows, as he wakes up the next morning with Sid in his bed, their legs tangled together and Sid drooling on his T-shirt where his head rests on Geno’s chest, it was definitely worth the wait.

Maybe they can hang out a bit more today, and maybe they can finally, after all this time, actually call it a date. He’s looking forward to it.

[hazel3017]

I promised you guys an essay on the dark ages that was the Mike Johnston era, and here it is. By the way, this is gonna be long and longwinded, but bear with me people. This is all connected. You have been warned.

In 2013, Sidney Crosby was on a ridiculous tear where he scored 56 points in 36 games for a truly stupid 1.56 points per game. It was a shortened season, true, but no one was even close to touching him. If he’d played the full 48 games, he’d have 75 points. Martin St. Louis won the Art Ross with 60. Anyway, what happened instead was the broken jaw, courtesy of a Brooks Orpik slap shot, and Sid didn’t play for the rest of the season (he missed 12 games) which is probably why he didn’t win the Hart (he was nominated, but it went to Ovechkin).

The broken jaw also meant that the Penguins, in their infinite wisdom, allowed Sid to be interviewed while he was CLEARLY high on painkillers.

Sid returned to the ice (wearing a protective cage) in time for the second game of the playoffs (vs NYI) and picked up right where he left off. He had nine points in five games against the Islanders, and 6 points in five games against Ottawa. It was all rainbows and sunshine until the Penguins reached the ECF against Boston and the offence just dried up. Sid didn’t have a single point in that series, and ultimately the Pens only put up a collective 2 goals and were swept in 4 games. It was brutal. Especially for Flower, who really took a lot of flack. He’d been gaining a bit of a reputation as a bad playoff goalie, and the 2013 playoffs didn’t help. It was after this that Flower started seeing a sports psychologist.

For context, since they won the Cup in 2009, the Penguins had only won 3 playoff series before reaching the Eastern Conference final in 2013. Three. Think about that. They didn’t even make it past the first round in 2011 and 2012. 2013 was supposed to be different. They were the top seed in the East, and their offence was on fire through the first two rounds. And then they just crashed and burned. It was the 4th year in a row where they were eliminated by a lower-seeded team. Things were dire. And just to emphasis how truly sucky this time was for Sid, people thought he’d already played his best hockey. They thought the concussion and neck injury that kept him out for almost two seasons meant he wouldn’t ever be able to dominate the way he had before.

(Speaking of the concussion: he missed 41 games in 2010-2011, and 60 games in 2011-2012. Dire, dire times. He’s admitted he thought he might never play again. Also, at some point during this time, Sid and Geno went to a Lady Gaga concert together. Never forget.)

The 2013-2014 season comes around, and Sid is back to being on fire. Because it’s not a Penguins team unless everyone and their mother is out with an injury, Sid had a revolving door of line mates but would still finish the season with 104 points in 80 games for 1.30 PPG. Because he is stupid like that.

One of the injuries, by the way, was Pascal Dupuis in December 2013. The Pens were playing in Ottawa when Marc Methot hip-checked Sid, and Sid went flying into Duper, who almost got Sid’s skate to his face, and also tore his ACL. Duper needed surgery to repair the ACL damage, and while he was recovering, he started developing blood clots and serious health issues related to that, which he would never really recover from. He tried to play while on blood-thinners for a while, but ultimately had to call it a night in the 2015-2016 season. I bring this up because it will play a role in the timeline later.

So, mid 2013-2014 season; Sid is the engine that keeps the Penguins going, the NHL takes a break in February for the 2014 Sochi Olympics and we get the NHL Revealed series, which is actually pretty cool (there is a scene from Geno’s house and you can see his fridge where he has decals of himself and Sid, Tanger and Flower. It is adorable. Also there is Geno whining to Sid about Sid not warning him about their flight being delayed because then he would have just waited at home). Chris Kunitz is also an Olympian, and everyone at the time was pretty much in agreement that the only reason he was there was because of how well he played with Sid, and then they didn’t play well together at all. And everyone was up in arms about how Sid wasn’t scoring enough, but Canada still won gold (both Sid and Kuni scored in the gold-medal game) and Russia did not, and so Geno was sad and grumpy for about a month. Then Sid wasn’t having it anymore and talked to Geno because he obviously needed a friend, and Geno was no longer sad and grumpy.

Fast forward a little bit, and we reach the playoffs. The Pens played against Columbus, and it was super weird because almost every game ended 4-3 and no one could keep a 3-1 lead. Also, Sid wasn’t scoring. Again. It was a thing. He was still putting up points, and he averaged 1 PPG against Columbus, but people would not shut about how he hadn’t scored a playoff goal in 13 games dating back to 2013. He kept insisting that he was healthy too, but he actually had a busted wrist, which was the result of a Ryan Reaves hit where he got his wrist caught awkwardly against the board in a game in late March. The injury meant he had trouble putting any power behind his shots, which meant no goals, although he was still dominating possession. Add to that the abuse he took from the likes of Dubinsky and Marc Staal (and also Lundqvist squirting water at him lol!) it was a pretty miserable playoffs for him.

All of this is made worse by his deteriorating relationship with Coach Dan Bylsma. Now, I know I have read this somewhere, and I can’t for the life of me remember where, but there was a rumour—a rumour, mind you—that Bylsma had specifically instructed the players not to stick up for Sid when the other team’s players were abusing him. Apparently, Bylsma threatened with benching people if they got into scrums after the whistles. (RUMOUR, remember. Take it with a grain of salt). But Bylsma and Sid obviously weren’t getting along that great during the Rangers series, at least, and it didn’t help that Bylsma kept playing his favourites, aka Craig Adams and the gang. Jesus. As I recall, Kuni and Geno were pretty much the only ones sticking up for Sid, especially Kuni who was playing on his line. The Rangers series did give us this gem of an interview though.

Game 7 comes along, and the Penguins lose. They’d been up 3 games to 1 at one point, and again they were the higher-seeded team. Shortly after, reports about Bylsma losing the room started popping up and it was pretty obvious that there would be a new management. Sure enough, Shero was fired first, and then Bylsma later.

(Bylsma was actually fired by Jim Rutherford. Ownership said they wanted the new GM to decide if he wanted to keep Bylsma around or not. It was pretty obvious that Bylsma would have to go too, and a lot of people were upset that they kept Bylsma so long when that could potentially keep him from getting a job elsewhere.)

And now, finally, we enter the dark ages. Or, in which GMJR did the one mistake he needed to make in order to find the one true Penguins coach: Mike Sullivan.

Mike Johnston. What is there to say about Mike Johnston? He had pretty much only one facial expression in that he looked perpetually shocked, he snuffed out the offence of a team that has always been built for scoring goals and made them play boring, sluggish, defensive hockey instead. It very nearly broke Sidney Crosby. That is not to say that it was all MJ’s fault, but he was very clearly unsuitable for the Pens and vice versa.

Consider this: In 2012-2013, Sid went from a 1.56 PPG to 1.30 in 2013-2014. A pretty steep dive, but still dominating his peers (Ryan Getzlaf was the closest to him in points that year. He had 87 points. Sid had 104.). From 2013-2014 to 2014-2015, Sid’s PPG dipped again, even more this time as it reached an all-time low of 1.09. He’d never been below 1.26 before. Not so incidentally, the Pens went from 242 goals total to 217, and their winning percentage dipped from .665 to .598, the lowest it had been since the 2005-2006 season. This all coincided with Mike Johnston becoming coach. The Penguins just barely edged their way into the playoffs that season. They made it with literally the last game of the season, against Buffalo.

(No offence to Buffalo, but they were ranked dead last that season.)

The Pens lost the first round of the playoffs against the Rangers. They only managed one win in 5 games. Sid played okay, he had 4 points on the series, but the Pens were so sloooow. They kept being outskated by guys like Zuccarello and Hagelin—no wonder, with guys like Craig Adams and Rob Scuderi slowing the Penguins down.

(Also, would you believe I used to strongly dislike Carl Hagelin?)

Sid didn’t stick around for the fallout. He called the GM of Team Canada the same night they were eliminated and jumped on a plane to Prague. I actually think the World Championship did him a ton of good. He won another gold medal in the Olympics the year before, but I really think it must have messed him up going so long without playoff success. No one expects more from Sidney Crosby than Sidney Crosby.

Anyway: Worlds.

I’m pretty sure that what happens at Worlds stays at Worlds, but Sid seemed to have a really good time with his x1000 boyfriends. Like, there was Giroux (what????), Seguin (we don’t kiss and tell), MacKinnon (of course), and even Brayden Schenn (lmao).

Also, there was Geno and the pictures that launched a thousand plot bunnies. Because you can’t have one without the other.

Sid won gold and was happy, he became the 26th member of the Triple Gold Club and was happy, and he came home from Europe and promptly entered an existential crisis, I’m pretty sure. He turned 28 that year and freaked out about it. Probably, he realised how sucky the last few years had been for him. He grew a beard. It was very disturbing for everyone involved. He also went to all the weddings, hosted his first annual hockey school, and filmed the documentary that would win him an Emmy award as the “talent”. That is an actual thing that happened, people.

And then the new season began. And here, my friends, we must circle back to Pascal Dupuis.

So because of the blood clots Duper developed after his ACL injury, he had to sit out the rest of the 2013-2014 season. He was cleared for the start of 2014-2015, but again was out for the rest of the season when they discovered blood clots in his lungs in November 2014 and he had to go on blood thinners. The next season, he was cleared again, but was still on blood thinners to manage the blood clots. He was being monitored by medical professionals at the time, and it was a procedure that had worked for other athletes, but Duper experienced side effects like serious chest pains. In the end, he was forced to call it quits. This was in December 2015.

Up until that point, from the start of the season, Sid had 18 points by then. He was 86 in in scoring. 86. Comparatively, he had 29 points by the same time next year. In 5 fewer games. No one knew what was going on. Sid didn’t know what was going on, but there’s probably a few things that explain his low offence. If you believed the media at the time, he was washed up. They were literally writing up the obituary of his career. Sports Illustrated posited that he would be a 4th-line centre at the World Cup. People were wondering if he would even make the team. The Team Canada GM had to publicly state that Sid would be on the roster.

So what actually did cause the notorious slump? Like I said, a combination of things.

First, MJ’s system meant that Sid had to play a 200-feet game. “But he does that now!” you say, and true, he is defensively responsible, and the NHL is gonna have to start thinking about giving him Selke consideration sooner than later, but he’s always thinking offence first, and his line’s puck possession means he’s spending more time in the offensive zone than defensive zone. They only had a 52.2% defensive exit rate under MJ during that December. Under Sully, it was at 73.1%. Consequently, MJ’s defence first mentality meant that Sid had to constantly haul ass from one end of the rink to the other; he was overexerting himself. 

Second, he had bad puck luck. No, really. The puck just wouldn’t go in the net for him, and he had one goal on 30 shots at one point. That’s a 3.3 shooting percentage. Around 9% is League average, I believe.

Third, the power play was a mess. MJ had no clue how to configure it, even with the kind of fire power the Penguins’ boast. They just couldn’t make it work, which meant that Sid was missing out on the points he usually get from the power play.

And finally, there was Duper. Now, this is my personal opinion, but I honestly think Duper’s situation really messed him up. I think he spent so much time and energy worrying about Duper being okay that if affected him on the ice. When Duper was forced to retire, Sid was heartbroken. Consider this extract from Duper’s Why We Play the Game article:

One leg was twice the size of the other. It was a few hours before the game. We were in Edmonton last November. I was warming up in the hallway, doing some band work, some quick-feet stuff. At some point I looked down and saw that my right leg was really swollen.

When you are dealing with blood clots, this is the moment you always fear. Your body is betraying you. You can’t deny it. You can’t fight through it.

I took my equipment off and put on a tracksuit to go to the hospital to get checked out. As I was walking out of the locker room with the doctor, one of my teammates gave me a hug and just broke down in tears.

“Not again, Duper. Are you kidding me? Again?”

That’s the moment I realized that I needed to draw the line. People weren’t just worried about me playing hockey. They were worried about me playing with my life.

I believe that teammate was Sid, and I feel as if Duper confirmed that, but I can’t remember where I saw/heard it.

Once Duper was out for good, Sid noticeably started playing better. He had 9 points the rest of December alone. Also, on 12 December, GMJR fired Mike Johnston and hired Mike Sullivan. Hilariously, Sid was accused of being a coach killer, and the reporter outright questioned the legitimacy of hiring Sully was MJ’s replacement in the same article.

JOKE’S ON YOU BRETT CYRGALIS.

The rest, as you say, is history. The Penguins finally found a coach who can wrangle Sid and Geno and Phil, and GMJR isn’t having any of your shit anymore NHL, so he went out and got Ryan Reaves to protect his star players from being abused. Which will probably be either really awesome or really awful. Time will tell.

[junker-town]

Giants GM Dave Gettleman, who gets the last laugh, is the winner of NFL Week 3 so far

Vincent Carchietta-USA TODAY Sports

Gettleman got dragged for drafting Daniel Jones ... who led the Giants to an 18-point comeback victory.

Week 3 of the 2019 NFL season started with the most Thursday Night Football game possible; a low-wattage slopfest between the Titans and Jaguars playing in the middle of a downpour. While that game may not have offered much in the way of traditional excitement or drama, it did grace the world with Gardner Minshew’s first win as a starting quarterback and further proof the AFC South only exists to cannibalize itself.

Sunday’s games came with more promise. Two early MVP candidates, Patrick Mahomes and Lamar Jackson, got to square off in an early test of each’s postseason seaworthiness. The Saints and Seahawks battled to establish their place in unpredictable divisions. The Browns got their second primetime showcase game in a row, and no one complained.

Also, the Jets were 21-point underdogs against the Patriots. They covered, which may be the first thing to go right for New York this season.

As always, this week’s winners weren’t limited to the teams who outscored their opponents. This week’s top performers range from wideouts to rookie QBs to punters and one somehow shrewd executive.

But it wasn’t...

Not considered: Gregg Williams, whose defense is very bad

Williams spent Week 2 getting burned by Odell Beckham Jr., a player he (very stupidly) didn’t consider to be a threat. He earned a shot at redemption as a 21-point underdog in New England. If he could shut down Tom Brady and the explosive Patriots offense, especially without C.J. Mosley or Quinnen Williams in the lineup, he’d prove his value as an NFL defensive coordinator.

He did not prove his value as an NFL defensive coordinator.

The Patriots had a near 99 percent win probability less than two minutes into the second quarter. They eventually ceded a pair of touchdowns to New York on a botched punt return and a pick-six from backup Jarrett Stidham. The Jets gave up 381 yards to a Pats team without much to worry about over the final 40 minutes of game time.

On the plus side, this is all leaning toward an outstanding draft pick for New York in 2020.

Now, on to this week’s actual winners

10. The Dolphins, who approached respectability in Week 3 (before running screaming away from it)

Miami didn’t win in Dallas. The Dolphins couldn’t even manage to cover an impressively high 22.5-point spread in a 31-6 defeat.

But — but! — they were capable of making an opponent nervous for two quarters. Miami only trailed 10-6 at halftime, leading to consternations like this:

Yikes. Dolphins getting in the backfield, locking down receivers, and not giving much up on the ground. If they are holding back the play calling, it might be time to unleash it.

— Blogging The Boys (@BloggingTheBoys) September 22, 2019

Small victories, Miami.

9. Josh Allen, who led his second game-winning drive in three weeks

Allen pushed the Bills out to their first 3-0 start since 2011 by carving up an overwhelmed Bengals team early, then coming back to upend the visitors with a game-winning touchdown in the final two minutes. The second-year quarterback was the barometer for his team’s fortunes, starting strong while taking a 14-0 lead into halftime, then sputtering as Cincinnati roared to life and threatened to derail Buffalo’s promising start.

But Allen stepped up when his team needed him the most, compiling 76 of his team’s 78 yards on a game-deciding fourth-quarter scoring drive. He sliced up the Bengals on both the ground and through the air, gaining 289 total yards (243 passing, 46 rushing) and providing a little extra room for optimism in western New York.

More encouragingly, head coach Sean McDermott appears to have found a proper playbook balance that highlights his strength (mobility) while hiding his weakness (downfield accuracy). His designed roll-out in the first quarter sprang tight end Dawson Knox for the rookie’s first NFL touchdown. Minutes later, he’d trash Geno Atkins to avoid a sack and find Knox again for a first down that turned turned second-and-long into a new set of downs.

Man-o-man Josh Allen making something out of nothing... pic.twitter.com/hsB6iRoSGk

— BBN (@buffbillsnews) September 22, 2019

Allen still has a long way to go to become even an above-average passer, but the Bills are capable of staying afloat even if he’s mediocre through the air. He’ll get the biggest test of his career next week when he faces a New England defense that has yet to give up a touchdown in 2019.

8. Thomas Morstead, who took advantage of the Saints’ offensive woes

Morstead is a very good punter. For a team currently hoping to survive Drew Brees’ thumb injury, he’s immensely valuable.

The 10-year veteran showed out Sunday, giving New Orleans a handful of early victories in the battle for field position. Two of Morstead’s first three punts in Week 3 pinned the Seahawks inside their own five-yard line. He finished his day averaging 54 yards per kick and pinned Seattle inside its own 20 four times.

The Saints got help on the other side of the punting coin, too. Rookie (and Assumption College alum) Deonte Harris got New Orleans on the board with a 53-yard punt return touchdown early in the first half. How did he do it? With extremely thorough blocking of Seahawks’ punter Michael Dickson:

Harris didn’t have a perfect day — he muffed a third quarter punt — but he did enough to help generate a major special teams advantage for a team missing its starting quarterback.

7. The Chiefs’ wideouts, who make Tyreek Hill look a bit more expendable every week

Demarcus Robinson had 43 receptions in three seasons coming into 2019. Mecole Hardman was a second-round rookie who had 961 career receiving yards at the University of Georgia.

And on Sunday, they dusted the formidable Ravens defense for 28 yards per catch and a pair of touchdowns.

Robinson struck first, showcasing his QB’s athleticism and pinpoint accuracy in the process.

Just casually back pedals to buy just an extra second, then throws as moving backwards to the perfect spot. Excellent catch as well. It's impossible to defend this. pic.twitter.com/OPBotWkHYS

— Geoff Schwartz (@geoffschwartz) September 22, 2019

Then it was Hardman’s time to shine, finding a hole in the Baltimore secondary and then running wild for an 83-yard touchdown that was the epitome of Patrick Mahomes Chiefs football.

this team's gonna get Tyreek Hill back at some point, too pic.twitter.com/Ro7yRhKwhB

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) September 22, 2019

Kansas City’s tailbacks only ran for 27 yards in the first half, and it didn’t matter. The Chiefs took aim at the Ravens’ solid secondary and tore it to shreds. Hardman and Robinson only had five catches, but those five plays resulted in 140 yards and 14 points. Travis Kelce and Sammy Watkins added a dozen more catches for 153 yards. Any concerns about the team’s passing game struggling as Hill recovers from a shoulder injury were overblown.

6. Josh Gordon, who is entirely ready for WR1 duties

The Patriots’ Antonio Brown experiment ended after one game, but New England still has plenty of talent at wideout. On Sunday, Josh Gordon roasted the Jets with a handful of spectacular catches that showcased just how versatile he can be.

HOW?! What a catch, @JOSH_GORDONXII! pic.twitter.com/2LSyzkPbj8

— New England Patriots (@Patriots) September 22, 2019

"CAUGHT BY GORDON, WHAT A GRAB!"@JOSH_GORDONXII | #GoPats pic.twitter.com/hvv9PhQseD

— New England Patriots (@Patriots) September 22, 2019

Gordon finished his day with six catches for 83 yards, a solid statline made more impressive by the fact he missed a significant chunk of the game due to injury. Four different Patriots had six catches or more against the Jets, even without Brown, James White, or 2019 first-round pick N’Keal Harry in the lineup. Hell, Julian Edelman had seven catches and a touchdown, and he missed most of the second half with a rib injury.

5. Phillip Lindsay, who does not run like he weighs 190 pounds

Denver faced fourth-and-goal when Lindsay got the call to swing the momentum back in his Broncos’ favor. Getting stopped here would have put the ball back in Aaron Rodgers’ hands with a 14-point lead midway through the third quarter. A touchdown would breathe new life into a Denver offense that had found more success against the Packer defense than any other opponent this fall — but who also shot itself in the foot with multiple turnovers.

Vic Fangio’s decision to run the ball up the middle looked like another bullet to the toes, but Lindsay had other plans.

Phillip Lindsay just bailed the Broncos all the way out on 4th-and-goal pic.twitter.com/J9BNHglcgp

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) September 22, 2019

The second-year back shook off multiple tackles before his offensive lineman could slingshot him into the end zone, cutting the Broncos’ deficit to eight points. Kicker Brandon McManus apparently noticed Denver wasn’t limping quite badly enough, proceeded to miss his first extra point since 2016 seconds later.

The Broncos wound up losing by 11, but you can’t fault Lindsay for that. He had a career-high 21 carries for 81 yards and a pair of touchdowns.

4. The legend of Gardner Minshew

Finally, we have an answer to the age-old question “What if Dak Prescott were a delightful weirdo?”

Like Prescott, Minshew was a Day 3 draft pick meant to back up a veteran quarterback on a team with a solid defense and varying postseason aspirations. And like the Dallas star, the mustachioed passer was thrust into the starting lineup due to injury only to overachieve. Minshew was the guiding light behind Jacksonville’s 20-7 victory in a rain-soaked Nashville on Thursday night.

Through approximately 2.5 games, the rookie has thrown for 692 yards, five touchdowns, and just one interception. His 110.6 passer rating was seventh-best in the league after his Week 3 performance. With the AFC South wide open thanks to Andrew Luck’s retirement, the Texans’ slow start, and the Titans complete acceptance of their Titan-ness, Minshew has a golden opportunity to push the Jaguars to the top of the AFC South. Likely while clad in only a jock strap and sunglasses for much of the season. Or possibly some hand-cut jorts.

James Snook-USA TODAY Sports

The real shame of all this is that The Good Place is ending a spectacular four-season run just as Minshew claimed his throne as King of Duuuuuuvaaaaaal. If Jason Mendoza doesn’t give the world at least one “MINSHEW!” while throwing a Molotov cocktail it will be showrunner Michael Schur’s greatest failure.

3. Shaquil Barrett, who is $250k richer for hitting a season-long sack incentive in three games

Barrett has been an absolute wrecking ball after leaving Denver, racking up eight sacks in three games for the Buccaneers — including a strip-sack of Daniel Jones that helped put the kibosh on the Giants’ comeback hopes:

Shaq Barrett's out here looking like a created player.#GoBucs | #BudLightCelly pic.twitter.com/LrQzHmm5D2

— Tampa Bay Buccaneers (@Buccaneers) September 22, 2019

That sack gave him eight on the season — enough to set a new career high and trigger a quarter-million dollar bonus in the one year, $4 million contract he signed this offseason.

His former team, the Broncos, has yet to record a sack in 2019. The best revenge is living well. And also ruining opposing quarterbacks.

2. Kyle Allen, who gave Carolina sports radio something to talk about for the next month

Allen outplayed 2019 third-round pick Will Grier to earn backup duties with the Panthers — a job that typically doesn’t see much action thanks to the presence of the oft-indestructible Cam Newton. But Newton’s slow start was cut short by a foot sprain, leaving Allen to take the field as a 2.5-point underdog to an Arizona team that had the league’s worst record one season ago.

The young quarterback fustigated a deficient Cardinal defense, throwing for 261 yards and four touchdowns in a comeback win in the desert. He teamed with Christian McCaffrey — 24 carries, 153 yards — to keep Carolina chugging along without its former MVP quarterback.

When the "34-year-old" tight end still has it CC: @gregolsen88#CARvsAZ | #KeepPounding pic.twitter.com/P29eNf9gYS

— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) September 22, 2019

Beating the Cardinals in 2019 won’t make you a Super Bowl contender. But given the NFC South’s increasingly kaleidoscope’d outlook, Allen’s big performance in Week 3 could wind up looming large when we’re looking at division standings come December.

1. Dave Gettleman, who was very right about Daniel Jones

When Giants GM Gettleman took Jones, a zero-time All-ACC quarterback, with the sixth overall pick of the 2019 NFL Draft, he became low-hanging fruit for easy criticism. After all, Jones’ numbers at Duke were lackluster, he’d earned Gettleman’s stamp of approval over the course of three series at a winter exhibition game, and the New York executive took several different paths to explain the pick, including outright nihilism.

And then Jones was the league’s best quarterback in the preseason. And then news trickled out that Jones wouldn’t have been available for the Giants when their second pick of the draft, No. 17 overall, came around. And then Jones led his team back from an 18-point second-half deficit with a last-minute touchdown run on fourth down.

DJ got us fallin' in love again #GiantsPride | #NYGvsTB pic.twitter.com/aI9xYiuUNw

— New York Giants (@Giants) September 22, 2019

Jones only got better after losing Saquon Barkley to an ankle injury, willing New York to its first win of the season in the process. It was only one game — and the Giants needed the Buccaneers to botch a 34-yard field goal as time expired to get there — but for one week Gettleman looks like an absolute damned genius while the rest of us eat a little crow.

[hockeyytrash]

Alaska - Chapter Two

(super boring sorry bear with me)

-1442 words-

"Alaska! Your friend is here!" my mom yells up to me. I jog down downstairs and swing the front door open, revealing an excited looking Carly.

"Hey," I say, stepping to the side so she could come inside.

"Okay, your house is AMAZING," she says, turning to look around at the massive foyer. I roll my eyes.

"That's all my new stepdad's doing," I say, leading her upstairs to my room.

"I take it you don't really care for him?" she asks, surprising me. I shrug my shoulders.

"He's alright, I guess. I just think that he's too concerned with material things. Plus, he's not the most humble about his wealth which pisses me off, but what can I do, you know," I tell her openly.

"I'm glad that kind of stuff bugs you because I really hate spoiled, pompous kids," Carly laughs. I join in too, allowing myself to loosen up.

"Okay, so I thought we could just start getting ready now, so we have plenty of time. Is that okay with you?"

"Sounds great! I brought some options because you never know what life is gonna throw at you. I mean it could start raining fire so I brought shorts just in case," she explains, dumping the contents of the bag she brought onto my bed.

"I highly doubt it's going to start raining fire, but I'm glad you're prepared," I say, laughing as I rummage through my closet for an outfit. I decide on ripped black skinny jeans and my Malkin jersey. I exit my closet with the outfit in tow.

I slip out of the clothes I wore all day and pull on the fresh outfit. I examine my appearance in the tall mirror resting on the wall behind me.

"Hey, does this look okay to you?" I ask Carly. She nods her head repeatedly, causing another laugh to erupt from me.

"Yes! You look hot! Now, come here. I need help deciding," she says, tugging me over to the bed. There, she has multiple outfits laid out, all including some sort of Maple Leaf attire.

"I know, there's a lot of options, but which one do you think I should go with?" I scan over the options carefully before making my decision.

"Definitely the white jeans and Marner jersey, plus the hat from option two," I say with a smile.

"That's what I was thinking! Thanks!" My smile continues to grow on my face as I walk over to my vanity to do my makeup. I start by doing my usual routine: foundation, concealer, powder, and a little bronzer. Then, I do my eyebrows and put on some fake lashes to make my eyes look bigger.

Carly joins me halfway into my routine and begins doing her makeup as well. She doesn't put as much on, but that's probably because she's already stunning without any. We listen to some music while we work, giggling at the random jokes we make. Despite not doing as much makeup-wise, Carly spends about thirty minutes curling her hair, whereas all I do is run through my dirty blonde waves with a brush.

After an extensive pampering and a traffic-filled car ride, Carly and I arrive in front of Air Canada Center, tickets in hand. We hurry through security and ticket scanning then stop to figure out where the hell we are sitting.

"Where's section 103?" Carly asks me, examining her ticket. I look up to the signs hanging around the arena, locating section 103 shortly.

"I think it's this way," I say, pointing towards the sign that read sections 101-103 with an arrow. Carly nods and follows me towards the entrance to section 103. The last step in finding our seats was finding our row. We walk farther down the stairs of the section, finally stopping two rows behind the home team's bench.

"These seats are amazing, Alaska!" Carly exclaims, doing a 360 so she could see everything.

"I know! We're so close to the ice," I say, gawking at our proximity to where the game will take place in less than twenty minutes. As we continue to marvel at our view, the two teams emerge from their locker rooms and begin warm-ups. I feel especially faint when Sidney Crosby whizzes past the glass in front of us.

Carly does her own bit of staring at the home team, pointing different players out to me as she scans the rink.

"There's Mitch Marner, my personal favorite and probably the funniest one on the team," she says, pointing to one of the Leafs skating around.

"How do you know he's funniest?"

"Let's just say I'm an avid 'Maple Leafs' funniest moments' video watcher," she says with a cheesy smile. I laugh at her confession and continue gazing out on the ice.

"Holy Virgin Mary, there's Auston Matthews!" she exclaims, excitedly pointing to number thirty-four on the Leafs.

"Oh I've heard of him," I say, "he's pretty decent, right?" Carly's mouth drops open as she turns to face me.

"Decent? Alaska, he's predicted to win rookie of the year! He scored four goals in his first game in the NHL! Not to mention he's extremely attractive," she says in awe. I guess he was better than I thought after all.

"He's probably a douche, though. The hot ones are always dicks," I tell her honestly.

"Valid argument, but we will see if it's true when we meet him, eh?" I nod and smile. I must admit, it's incredible that we are going to be meeting them, even if they aren't my beloved Penguins.

"Hey, do you want someone to take our picture before the game starts?" Carly asks. I nod, thankful she thought of it because I can guarantee you, we will be so absorbed in the game that we'll forget to take pictures later.

I turn to the girl in front of us and tap her on the shoulder. She looks at me with a smile. That's the biggest difference between Canada and Pennsylvania. People here are actually nice.

"Excuse me, would you mind taking a few pictures of my friend and me?" I ask her politely as the two teams skate over to their respective benches.

"Sure thing," she says in a cheery tone. I hand her my phone and look at Carly who's already laughing her ass off for no apparent reason. I try to get her to keep a straight face, but fail miserably. I take my phone back from the girl and thank her.

"Let me see them!!" Carly says, pulling me closer to her so we can both see the screen. I scroll through the various photos and smile wide. Even though we're laughing in all of them, they are still very cute. I pick my favorite one and post it to Instagram.

I pick my favorite one and post it to Instagram

@alaskamay : found a new puck buddy

Tagged: @carlyyvalentine @penguins @mapleleafs

387 likes | 4 comments

@carlyyvalentine : pens are going down my friend

@natpeters : miss you

@quinnwilliams : no invite???

@carlyyvalentine : ^sorry boo

After I post the picture, I concentrate on the game. It's amazing being so close to all the action. Carly clearly feels the same way with all of her jumping and screaming. We constantly banter back and forth about which team is doing better and if the calls being made were good or not.

The score remained tied at zero for the first period and half of the second. Geno tipped in a wrist shot made by Letang with a minute left in the second period. The third period proved to be the most exciting with Crosby scoring a goal directly followed with a goal by Nylander, making the score 2-1. Auston Matthews scores on a breakaway to tie the score. And just when everyone was preparing for overtime, Matthews flies out of nowhere and finds net with five seconds remaining in the game.

The final buzzer goes off, signaling the end of the game and a win for the Leafs. Thankfully, Carly doesn't brag about winning on our trek to the locker rooms.

Once we find the right place and show security our passes, we are led to the outside of the locker room by a man named Grant. Grant makes us wait outside while he goes to check if everyone was decent.

"How do I look? Do I look like a mess? Because I definitely feel like a mess," Carly rambles as she frantically runs her fingers through her hair.

"You look great," I tell her with a smile. She begins to say something but is cut off by Grant appearing.

"They're ready for you."

[yoshifics]

Yoshi Hockeys 00: Penguins vs Flames

 Teams & Players (Number/Name: Description/opinion/fun fact)

Pennsylvania Pittsburgh (wth guys I’m still not over that stupid town thing mistake. We call them the Pens!! Couldn’t they have done us the courtesy of being based in Pennsylavania??) Penguins

13: Can make panicked passes that actually work?? I’m shook

Evgeni Malkin/Geno (and no his name is neither Tater nor Mashkov, I don’t know why I confused him with a fictional hockey player): He is beauty in motion, and I love him (more precisely the way he moves)

23: Works beautifully with 87, excellent teamwork.

87: Same as above.

Marc-André Fleury/Flower dude (Also I totally see how he got that nickname. Kudos to you hockey people): Beautiful goalie of my heart; you rock dude!! Co-MVP with the other goalie

40: My sweet little baby child. Don’t ask me why; I’ll probably remember once I see him again

2:  Cute son who somehow sent his puck in the air and lost it there

Cherry?? (listen, I didn’t hear the name right so I dunno):  Helped Crosby the goal that nearly didn’t count

Sidney Crosby: Scored the goal that nearly didn’t count with his mad reflexes, because touching the goalie is a sin apparently!! Which hey understandable, but I was still surprised. Also his focused face is passive murder gaze.

Calgary Flames (and not Chicago, or Fires as I’d originally assumed. I mean it’s a C on fire? It made sense??)

23: He fell at some point for reasons unknown. It was cute

Brian Elliott: I love goalies, and this one did beautiful saves. Co-MVP with Flower

Chiasson: Got a stick in the face and didn’t cry, unlike some people I know (glares balefully at soccer players). He probably deserved it tho, because he destroyed poor little baby Pens 40

13/Johnny Gaudreau: Did the most beautiful goal I have ever seen omg I love him?? He danced around the enemy players, that fucking beauty, and then wrapped around the goal to boom, drop the puck past the goalie. He was beauty in motion is what I’m saying. I’m in love 

Game

First hockey match ever for me!! Whoot whoot! Hockey is nice to watch. I love how the ice goes whoosh and flies when they stop violently. Also I discovered that hockey does not have only two periods (or four, for that matter), but rather three. You can imagine my confusion when they said they were going on intermission at the end of the second period rather than just saying: game over. Also the Penguins had 5 Ds at some point in this game? I assume D means defence (and not dick as was my first thought) but it still doesn’t make sense?? Also touching the goalie is a sin, so be careful about that. And the Flames won!! Good job guys :D

March 13, 2017