#apparently the fuckers did shots??? on stage????

[luvskai]

man i’ve been on the fence about becoming a proper atiny for a while now but y’all chellateez might just be what does it for me

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch35: Not A Perfect Soldier, But A Good Man.

Summary: Almost twelve moths post the vents in Siberia, the four friends are reunited with two familiar faces. Presented with an opportunity that they find too good to turn down, they find themselves back running missions off radar, one of which takes Steve to a dark place within himself, where he finds himself compromising his moral code. 

And then his phone rings…

Warnings: Bad language, Smut! (NSFW, Under 18s) Bad Language words. Mentions of rape/sexual assault.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: Wonderful edit again from @angrybirdcr. And make sure you check out the related one shot- Vanilla, which takes place during this timeframe.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 34

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

June 2017

“Well as far as birthdays on the run go guys, this one’s been the best one I’ve ever had!” Katie grinned as they climbed out of their 4x4 at the Safe house.

Steve and Sam exchanged a look over the roof of the car.

“What?” Katie asked, innocently.

“I can’t tell if that was sarcasm or…” Sam looked at Steve before he turned back to Katie pushing his sunglasses up onto the top of his head. “No, honestly guys I’ve had a great morning.” She smiled at them. “Breakfast was amazing, it was a nice walk round the castle, the sun is out and now we have a BBQ to get fired up!”

It was almost a year now since they’d been on the run. After a brief few months apart where Katie and Steve had been in Wakanda, Sam had been flitting round a few old friends and Wanda had been travelling with Vision, they had all reunited at the end of May, Wanda bringing with her some rather interesting news.

“I did find some stuff out.

Apparently Tony hasn’t spoken to Ross properly in months. When you guys broke out the raft, Ross called him for help and he put him on hold for hours.” Katie looked at Steve, both of them sharing a grin.

“It didn’t go down well. They had a huge bust up and apparently Tony told him to err, and I quote ‘go fuck himself’.” Wanda said, smiling slightly. Steve snorted as she continued. “Said he didn’t answer to SHIELD, the Government or anyone else.”

A pang of affection and guilt hit Katie’s chest. Even after everything her brother was still watching her back. She looked down at her food and blinked, the tears threatening to fall out of her eyes.

“He’s err, he and Pepper, they’re getting married.” Wanda hesitated and Katie took a deep breath.

“Wow, he finally did it.” She whispered, not looking up as she pushed a piece of carrot round her plate, swallowing thickly. “That’s…”

“How’s Rhodes?” Sam asked, changing the subject swiftly and Steve gave him a look of thanks across the table, as he gently reached over and wrapped his hand around the back of Katie’ s neck, giving it a gentle squeeze of affection before his thumb gently began to trace shapes on the soft skin just beneath her hair line. She looked at him and smiled. 

“I’m okay.” She assured him “Honestly.”

Steve kept his hand were it was nonetheless as Wanda continued talking.

“Rhodey is good, the braces he has mean he can walk.” At that Sam looked down, Steve glanced at him. He knew he felt guilty about what had happened.

“And that’s it really.” Wanda shrugged. “Nothing else to report.”

“Glad to hear everyone’s doing good.” Katie nodded. “So you want to see Vision again?”

“I know it might seem odd, or even dangerous.” Wanda mused, “And we’re still at odds over the Sokovia Accords, but yeah, I do.” “Odds?” Steve asked. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he still seems to think that the Accords were right. So, we’ve kind of just agreed not to talk about them. But, even with that, well I just can’t be without him.”

“We love who we love.” Steve said wisely, “If we’re lucky they share our feelings as well as our lives.”

“Like you two you mean?” Sam snorted looking at Steve and Katie “You two are so in tune, sometimes I think you’re actually reading each, others minds.” “How do you know we’re not?” Katie grinned and Sam rolled his eyes.

“Like I said, lucky.” Steve shrugged, pressing a kiss to the side of Katie’s head as he moved his arm from around the back of her and carried on with his food.

“No one should keep you from him if that’s how you feel.” Katie looked at Wanda. “That’s the last thing we would ever want.”

“Yeah you go ahead.” Sam snarked, pulling Katie’s attention back to the here and now. “We’ll grab the bags, don’t worry about it.” “Thanks Sam, you’re a darling.” Katie grinned over her shoulder.

Sam sighed and shook his head. “A fucking liberty, that’s what this is! You wanna remind her of those ground rules, Steve.”

“You remind her.” Steve shot back as they watched the two women head unlock the door to the house.

“You scared of your Missus, Pal?”

“Yes.” Steve said simply and Sam laughed, before he turned and opened the trunk of the car. 

In the house, Katie walked through the small porch and into the living room and immediately stilled. There was something wrong, something she couldn’t put her finger on. Holding an arm out to Wanda she stopped the younger girl and looked at her. Understanding straight away, Wanda’s familiar red tendrils began glowing from her hands. As Katie looked around, unable to shake the feeling that someone or something was there, her eyes fell on a bottle on the coffee table, a bottle that hadn’t been there when they left this morning.

Beluga gold line vodka.

Katie felt her lips curve into a smile “You can come out now.” She stated simply, not bothering to turn round. “You know, I thought spies were supposed to be subtle.”

“Who says I was trying to be?” A familiar voice drawled, causing Wanda to spin round, her mouth falling open in surprise as Natasha stepped out of the smaller living room at the far side of the house.  

Katie turned and looked her friend over. “That why you cut all your hair off and dyed it blonde?”

“Changes is as good as the next.” Nat smirked.

“Good to see you Widow.” Katie beamed, striding over to her and pulling her into a hug.

“You too.” Natasha smiled, squeezing her back. “Happy birthday, Nova.”

Katie released her and Nat turned to Wanda, wrapping her up in a hug too. “I’m telling you man.” Sam’s voice filled the room as he and Steve walked into the house each carrying bags of groceries and snacks for their BBQ “She was putty in my hands. If he hadn’t turned up I’d have-MOTHER FUCKER!” He yelled, dropping the bags he was carrying as he spotted Natasha.

“Nice to see you too, Birdbrain.” She smiled before her face turned to Steve “Rogers.” “Nat?” He blinked in surprise, setting the bags he was carrying down a little more gently than Sam. “Dare I ask how you knew where to find us?” The corner of his mouth quirked up in a small, amused smile “Fury.” She shrugged. “Finished the loose ends I needed to tie up and had to make a swift exit, so he told me where you were. Thought I’d come and see how you were all getting along.” “We’re just peachy.” Sam smiled as he stepped forward opening his arms, “Come on not-so-red-anymore, bring it in.” She gave a huff and then stepped into his arms before she turned to Steve who smiled at her as he pulled her into a huge bear hug.

“I like this.” She leaned back, pulling at his beard and he jerked his head way out of her reach, arching an eyebrow at her. What was it with people and thinking they could just touch his face now he had a beard? That was something reserved for his wife and his wife only. Katie laughed, noticing his irritation as Natasha continued. “Hardly recognised you.” “Well that is the point.” He rolled his eyes.

“Are you sticking around?” Sam asked.

“Well I got nothing else to do.” Nat shrugged. Katie and Steve exchanged a grin, her blasé tone didn’t fool them. She looked tired and slightly shaken, so whatever mission she’d been working on had clearly been tough.

“Well in that case…” Katie picked up the bottle of vodka that was on the table. “How about we crack this open whilst the boys get the grill going?”

A couple of hours later they were full of BBQ meat, salads, potatoes, vodka, beer and juicy information. Whilst Natasha didn’t tell them much about what she had been up to in Russia, she did fill them in on what SHIELD was doing. 

“They’re calling themselves the ‘In-Human Resistance’.” Natasha explained as she showed them a few photos of the growing Vigilante group on a tablet, a group that seemed to be fast gaining traction in America. “They staged an attack in LA and Miami recently. Both at the same time, co-ordinated.”

“They’re fighting registration with the Sokovia Accords?” Steve asked, taking a pull from his bottle of beer.

Natasha nodded.

“Those damned accords have already caused more trouble than they’re ever gonna solve.” Sam said shaking his head. “First the ‘Watchdogs’ emerge to fight In-Humans, now this group emerge to fight them back.”

“This was always going to happen. SHIELD monitored Enhanced beings and In-humans.”  Katie shrugged. “And it worked without the need for any stupid laws.”

”Yeah, so now the plan is that SHIELD are going to go legit. Come out into the open again.”

At that Katie raised her eyebrows. “And Coulson?” “No.” Natasha said, “Coulson will be in the shadows, the public director is going to be a bloke called Jeffrey Mace. He seems a decent guy.” “You know him?” Katie asked.

“Met him briefly. He was at the Accord signings in Vienna as a journalist would you believe it?” “Well he will know how to work the PR angle.” Wanda spoke for the first time in a while and Katie looked at her. She was pushing a piece of potato round on her plate, absentmindedly, no doubt wondering what would happen to her if she ever was caught with all the new rules and hatred being pushed out towards Enhanced or In-humans.

“They’re calling him Patriot.” Natasha said, and she looked at Steve, smirking slightly “Brooklyn boy, just like you Cap. Volunteered for some experiment that would give him super human strength in the wake of the Vienna bombing.” Steve let out a groan “Have SHIELD not learnt anything?”

“You had a lucky escape.” Nat quipped “If you hadn’t been on the run, they’d have been asking you to lead them from the front. Coulson wanted an enhanced person to run in the public eye, drum up support, show the world that they’re not to be feared.” “Nothing more than bullshit, political games.” Sam scoffed, and Natasha raised her eyebrows in agreement.

“Which we, thankfully, are well out of.” Steve leaned back, although Katie could see the nerve ticking in his jaw.

“Are you? Thankful, I mean?” Nat asked and Steve looked at her, frowning. “You not missing being in the thick of it at all?” He didn’t answer. If truth be told he couldn’t, not really. Some days he missed the action, missed having a job to do as such. Whilst he’d helped out occasionally for a bit for cash at the harbour, casual labour and muscle when they needed it, it wasn’t nearly challenging enough.

“What are you saying Nat?” Katie asked. Natasha sighed and leaned back.

“Fury isn’t working as part of SHIELD at the moment, not directly anyway.” She looked at her. “He’s running a few jobs off radar. At the moment he’s currently tracking a few old arms dealers that seem to be back trading old SHIELD and Chitauri stuff. Turns out in the wake of the Avengers being disbanded they all started getting brave again.” “Who’d have thought it?” Katie snorted sarcastically as she chewed at her lip. Steve and her had held this very conversation in Wakanda, wondering how long it would be before the groups they had all but eradicated emerged again in the wake of their split.

“So is that why you’re here?” Steve eyed her suspiciously “Fury wants you to recruit us?” “No.” Nat shook her head, before she smiled at Steve. “He’s going to do that himself when he drops by tomorrow.”

*****

"Why don’t you ask one of the ‘registered heroes’ for help?” Steve raised his eyebrows at Fury as the man finished explaining what he wanted the group to work on.

Fury scoffed. “Whilst SHIELD is of course, in full cooperation with the Accords, this case isn’t exactly on their radar right now.”

“What you mean is, that if it becomes public knowledge that more Chitauri and SHIELD weapons are emerging it will damage what little reputation SHIELD have managed to claw back.” Katie folded her arms. “Because they shouldn’t have ever let it get to this because you should have gotten rid of it all in the first place.”

“Look, Nova.” Fury was quick to reply. "I don’t like this any more than you do, and yes, in hindsight there are a lot of things that SHIELD should have destroyed or shut down back in the day, but I wasn’t the only one making those calls. Pierce had a lot of sway.”

“So effectively you want us to protect SHIELD’s reputation?” Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Why should we do that?” Wanda asked, looking at Fury “Where were you when we needed you?”

“She has a point.” Sam looked at Fury “I mean, I don’t remember SHIELD jumping to our defence after we risked everything to get to Siberia.”

Fury looked at Steve who simply raised his eyebrows. Both he and Katie agreed with Sam, they had expected at least some help from the Director but it never came. 

Or so they thought.

“Just who do you think it was that leaked to the press exactly what went down between you all?” Fury asked, leaning back in his chair. Katie felt her mouth curl up in a smile.

“That was you? Huh, I assumed it was Murdock.” “Well to assume makes an ass of you and me.” Fury quipped, looking at her. “Furthermore, thanks to me there’s currently a group of bounty-hunters sweating their asses off looking for you all in Cairo.”

Steve and Katie exchanged glances before they looked at Sam then Wanda.

“And I’ll continue to help leave false trails as I still believe in you all.” Fury looked at them each in turn “The Accords, this entire situation, yes, it’s a mess but I’m still hoping you guys care enough to want to keep fighting the good fight.”

Katie glanced at Natasha who had remained quiet through the entire discussion. She simply raised an eyebrow and gave a small smile.

“Think about it.” Fury stood up. “Romanoff knows how to contact me. When you’ve made your decision, let me know.”

He headed for the door before he turned back and looked at Katie.

“Oh, and Nova, that final trick you pulled, hacking into the CTU. It worked.”

Katie smiled and gave a small ‘huh’ of laughter and watched the man depart through the same door he’d arrived little over an hour previously.

“Okay, colour me intrigued, what did you hack the UN for?” Natasha looked at Katie and Steve tilted his head as his wife gave a coy smile.

“Technically it was Lawson. When he was digging up the information on the illegal arrests I had him wipe all the records of who accessed their evidence vault when all our gear got broken so Sharron didn’t get into trouble.”

Steve’s mouth quirked up into a small smile as he looked at his wife, once again unable to believe how downright clever she was.

“Wait.” Wanda said, frowning “Why did you do that?” “She’s a Carter.” Katie shrugged as if that was supposed to make sense. And it did to Steve and Natasha but as Sam and Wanda looked at her blankly she took a deep breath and explained “After everything Peggy did in the SSR, founding SHIELD, working with my dad, she deserves for her name and legacy to remain unsullied.”

She locked eyes with Steve who could do nothing but simply look at her, his face soft before he smiled “You really are amazing you know that?”

After an afternoon spent deliberating over Fury’s proposal, Steve told them all to sleep on it and they would make their final decision in the morning, but as he found out at three am, sleep was doing it’s very best to evade him completely.    

“Something on your mind, Soldier?” Katie murmured sleepily as he turned over in bed for what felt like the tenth time in as many minutes. With a sigh he reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean to wake you.” he said. “I just can’t get what Fury said outta my head.” “And even after I tried my best to make you forget as well.” she quipped and he smiled, leaning over to give her a soft kiss. She gave a soft hmmm of contentment before he pulled away and propped himself up on his elbow

"What do you think we should do?”

“Well, we could ignore it, keep laying low.” she elaborated, with a small yawn “But I know you. And whilst you’ve managed it for a year it hasn’t been easy, and don’t try and pretend you’ve been okay because I know you Steven.” He gave a small snort and looked at her as she continued “And now you know that there’s still stuff to mop up, you’re gonna find it even harder to walk away.”

"I would for you. You know that.”

“But is that what you really want?” she sighed. “Not particularly, no.” he answered honestly. “I want to help but, well, I’m no longer Captain America.”

"Meh, he was an asshole anyway.” she grinned and he gave a snort. “But you ARE Steve Rogers, the, and I quote your best friend here ‘dumbass little blonde punk that couldn’t run away from a fight.” Steve felt himself smile at Bucky’s words. “Long before the serum and the shield, you were standing up for the little guys, for what you thought was right. Okay, you were getting your ass kicked doing it, but still.”

She shrugged and Steve looked down at the silhouette of her face, and he knew she was right. He brought his hand up and with the back of his fingers gently brushed down her right cheek. 

“And you’d be okay with it?” he asked.

“Well, neither of us left the Avengers because we wanted to. So until this blows over…” “If it blows over.” “Steven.” she spoke sternly, and he could tell by the tone of her voice she was glaring at him, even if he couldn’t see her face fully. She was still clinging to some hope that the entire situation would go away, whereas Steve was much more a realist about it all.  “Until this blows over, then, maybe we could, or should keep fighting the good fight. Because that’s what we do best.”

“A band of vigilantes, huh?” He quirked an eyebrow. “Or if we’re getting paid are we mercenaries?”

“Pretty sure mercenaries don’t have ethics behind what they’re doing.” Katie snorted “No, we’ll be, erm, the ‘Nomad Law Enforcers’, NLE for short” she shrugged and he let out a laugh.

As his chuckles died down she gently reached up to stroke his face, his bearded cheek leaning into her touch.

“So, does that mean my new code name is Captain Badass?” He asked, his hand straying down to brush across her bare stomach. “No” She smiled, twitching at the touch “That’s a name only I get to say. Along with Stevie.” “Hate to break it to you, Darlin’ but Buck was calling me Stevie way before you were a twinkle in your pa’s eyes.” he said, his fingers now trailing the inside of her thigh. “Maybe so,” she snaked her arms round his neck and pulling his face down to hers, “but did he ever say it to you like I do, you know, in your ear as I’m about to c-”

“Err no.” he grinned, kissing her on the lips “That one’s all yours, doll.”

“Think you should make me say it now.” she quipped.

“As you wish, ma’am.” he smirked, rolling over on top of her, making her giggle before he cut her off by pressing his lips to hers in a fevered kiss.

The next morning around breakfast they informed the rest of the team what their decision was. Natasha shrugged and said she was in already anyway. Wanda agreed as she had nothing else to do but in the same breath Katie could tell she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea, so Steve told her that she could dip in and out and didn’t have to do anything she wasn’t happy about. When the only decision left was Sam’s, the man leaned back in his chair with a smirk and nodded. And whilst Steve thought the name Katie had come up with last night for their band of rag-tag heroes was ridiculous, it was ten times better than the offering Sam made.

“The Avengers Secret Society. ASS.” He grinned, draining his coffee mug. “Hell, I’m in. Where do I sign?”

******

Running the missions meant a lot of stealth and covert work, which in turn meant they had to leave the safe house they had called home for over a year for long periods, often months at a time. During those weeks they stayed either in motels or other safe houses which Fury or Natasha had access to in various places across the world as they intercepted various arms trades and took down both buyers and dealers alike. The rest of 2017 past them by in a blur now they were busy. Wanda dipped in and out, choosing sometimes to remain in the safe-house and others she would disappear to meet Vision but always kept them up to date on where she was so they could keep tracks on her. Katie was glad she was getting out and seeing the world, even if she did worry about her from time to time.

As far as lifestyles went, it was tough, hard going, but Katie could see Steve’s sparkle and drive was back in abundance. For the most the missions went without a hitch. Yes, they took knocks, broken noses, cut lips, bust ribs…but it came with the territory, and they all felt good to be back feeling like they were making a difference even if they were doing it unofficially from the shadows. And given that they were indeed vigilantes, they all removed any Avengers symbols from their suits to avoid Tony or the guys back at the compound being dragged into any further political row.

Katie and Natasha ditched their Avenger cat suits entirely, opting for leather cargo pants, jackets and combat vests whilst Sam acquired a new upper body suit for his now battered but sill functional wings. Steve had ripped the star on his uniform from his chest, which was down to a combination of wanting to stay off radar but also because of the fact that he simply wasn’t Captain America anymore, and therefore wasn’t comfortable bearing his insignia. It just didn’t feel right to be operating wearing the symbols once used when they were part of their old team. They were a painful reminder of just what it was that had brought them to this moment, how much they had lost and given up because they were not the Avengers anymore. And this also reflected in the way they operated. They were a lot less sympathetic with their fighting style and they did what they needed to do to get the job done, no more, no less- “Whatever it takes…” as Steve put it. And whilst the Captain still did his best to keep the casualties and fatalities to the minimum, that went completely out of the window one February morning in Jordan. 

They were tracking a suspected group of ex- Hydra stragglers that were, according to Fury’s intelligence, operating a lab with the aim of using a piece of SHIELD technology to manufacture weapons. They’d staked the place out over the last three days or so, and from what they could gather it was a pretty amateur operation all in all, so they didn’t meet much resistance when they stormed the place. Sam and Natasha took one side of the building, Steve and Katie the other. It didn’t take them long to clear out and restrain the hostiles and they set about sweeping the place for any devices they needed to recover before Natasha made her way down to the lab to lay the bombs that would destroy it once everyone was clear.

Steve and Katie made their way down a smaller corridor of the back of the main room whilst Sam and Natasha started to pack up the items they had come for and they reached a fork at the end. Katie went left, Steve went right. He hit a dead end pretty quickly, there only being one more room and that was completely empty. Katie, however had three rooms to look in. The first two were empty, and the third one led off to another smaller room at the back. Scanning round, she assumed the room was clear and headed through into the smaller one, kicking the door open. There was nothing in there bar filing cabinets. Seeing as she was there, she started to pull them open to see if there was anything useful, but it was all older paper work, nothing of interest. Slamming the drawer shut she heard a noise behind her, the cock of a gun and then a voice which made her freeze.

“Back for more you little SHIELD slut?”

That voice took her right back to that painfully bright cell with the hard bed, and the even harder floor.

“You like that don’t you, yeah?” His face was contorted as he grunted whilst he pounded painfully, mercilessly into her over and over again, her wrists painfully held above her head, his weight pressing onto her battered and bruised body which he had played a major part in beating before having joined in the kicking and stamping with glee. “God, she’s so fuckin’ tight…”

She spun round to look at the man who had violated her numerous times, his face exactly the same, wearing the same predatory sneer. Her fists clenched at her side as she weighed up her options, she could probably take him now, even with the gun.

But she hesitated too long.

Her rapist smirked as he raised the gun, keeping it trained on her as he took half a step forward and automatically she moved backwards, her body pressing against the metal of the filing cabinet.

“What? Still no scream?” He chuckled. “You know, we used to have a competition, see which one of us would be the one that made you finally break. But, I gotta hand it to you, you never made a sound. Frankly, it kind of became a bit boring. I’ve had better lays from my palm.” It was then that Katie noticed a movement behind him and looked over his shoulder to see Steve stood in the doorway with a look on his face that Katie had never seen before. Unadulterated anger, rage and fury radiated from every single bit of his body as he stared at the back of the man’s head, his lips curling up into an ugly sneer, a flash of white teeth glinting in the dim white from beneath his beard. “Whatever happens tomorrow you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.”

Steve remembered those words like Dr Erskine had spoken them just yesterday. And for the most part he had lived by them, trying every day to be a man that people could look up to. Years of loss and grief and fighting had made it hard but he had never killed in cold blood and, if possible he always went for the non-fatal take downs. But now, as he heard the words the man in front of him said to his wife as she stood, pressed against the cabinet at the far wall, her chest heaving, eyes wide with a hatred so fierce but yet an unmistakable glimmer of fear underneath it all, he knew exactly who this guy was.

This was one of the animals that had violated her. 

And he wanted to kill the fucker.

At the sight of her husband Katie instantly relaxed, she was safe. There was nothing the bastard in front of her could do to her, not whilst Steve was there. The man saw her change in posture, and frowned as she looked back at him and smirked slightly.

“You want a fight, it’s your lucky day, although I don’t fancy your chances much.” 

She nodded behind her and the man wheeled round fast but he didn’t’ even get chance to point his gun at Steve before the Super Soldier’s fist connected hard with his face, knocking out his front teeth. He staggered backwards and Katie was waiting with a well- aimed leg swipe which sent him crashing to the floor. As he went to push himself up Steve brought his large, boot clad foot down and stomped with all his might on his left hand.

”They broke my fingers and took my rings…” Katie’s voice echoed around his mind as he stamped again, and again before he picked the HYDRA agent up by the collar and smashed his head straight onto the desk.

The man lay groaning in pain on the floor, spitting out blood as he pitifully begged for mercy and Steve allowed him to crawl a few feet away before he kicked him hard in the ribs, stalking him, toying with him, as a cat does with its prey. But like all cats, eventually Steve got bored and hauled him back up again. He spun the snivelling piece of shit round so his back was clamped to his chest, one large forearm over the guy’s throat, palm of the other hand clamped his forehead, pinning him in place and forcing him to look at Katie for no reason other than the fact he wanted her face to be the last thing the bastard’s shitty, Hydra supporting eyes ever looked at.

All the anger Steve felt at how they had abused his wife, his beautiful girl, speared red hot inside him as he remembered the state she’d been in when they’d picked her up. How long it had taken her to heal physically. And all those nights he had held her close after she woke from a nightmare. He’d sworn to himself he would die before he let anyone hurt her again. 

“She told me you did to her.” Steve’s voice was steely, as he spoke into the man’s ear. “You abused her, tortured her, beat her and laughed about it. But now who’s laughing? Look how alive she is, how beautiful and strong she is. How she survived, which is more than you’re gonna do.”

At those words the man, who was groaning to himself began to struggle again, begging for his life. Steve merely tightened his grip.

“I want you to know that you dying is simply because of what you did to my wife. So fuck HYDRA and fuck you.” He snarled, and with a quick, savage twist of his arms, Katie heard the snap and the man grew limp, his neck broken in one, easy movement.

Steve tossed the dead man unceremoniously to the floor, his chest heaving as he looked down at the body on the floor. He’d just killed someone in cold blood. And he didn’t care one single bit.

Katie watched her husband as he looked down at the dead man, utter disgust on his face and she felt a ridiculous surge of affection for her soldier. She knew he’d grappled with the fact he had, in his opinion, failed to keep her safe and, no matter how many times she told him he was ridiculous, she would never convince him otherwise. He’d just abandoned all moral code he had, killing someone out of no reason but the desire for revenge because he loved her. 

He loved her enough to kill someone that had hurt her. As she watched, Steve raised his head to look at her. "You okay?” He asked, his voice full of concern, not a shred of the anger or hatred it had been filled with before was left. She nodded.

“Come on.”  He held out his hand. She stepped over the body on the floor, laced her fingers into his, but they hadn’t even reached the door of the outer room they’d walked through when she pulled on his arm and as he turned to face her, she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down to her, furiously kissing him, teeth clashing, beard scratching-fuck she loved the feel of that- as she emptied every single emotion she was feeling into his mouth. She pulled away and rest her head against his, desire flooding her system, some dark inner part of her had awoken at his merciless persona and he spotted it, a curious tilt of his head to the side told her so much. “Steve, if you don’t fuck me right now, I’m filing for divorce.” He arched an eyebrow “Divorces are messy, we can’t have that.” and the words were barely out of his mouth before he had spun her round, slamming her against the wall, kissing her hard again, groaning as she grasped his growing erection through his combat trousers.

“Right here?” He growled and she nodded eagerly, already fumbling with his utility belt. The clanging of buckles, zipping of trousers and the rustling of fabric filled the air as they both shed the minimum amount of clothing they needed to so that Katie could wrap her legs around Steve’s waist as he lifted her up by the back of her thighs, pressing her against the wall whilst he continued to kiss her neck, biting and sucking at any bit he could get to. He didn’t waste any time before he thrust up into her hard, making her cry out.

It was almost depraved, them fucking with a dead body in the room next to them, but neither of them cared, they were too caught up in a whirlwind of lust and emotions that enveloped them completely. Steve’s hips snapped back and forth with a pace and a vigour that was merciless as he pistoned in and out of her again and again. Her palms were scrabbling at the wall behind her trying to gain some traction and Steve quickly pushed further against her to give her more support so she could move her hands round his shoulders, where she clawed desperately at the material of his uniform as her head fell forward and her teeth nipped at his ear drawing a growl from his throat. Her hands moved into his long hair, where she pulled sharply back causing him to hiss and look up her and the pupils of her eyes were blown wide with a desire he would never tire of seeing.  She pushed her hips down against him causing him to drive deeper and she let out an almost primal cry he had never, in their almost five years of being together, heard her make before. It simply revved him up even more, his rapid movements growing even more urgent.

“Fuck, Stevie,” she moaned, her head rolling back against the wall as her hands clamped onto his shoulders as she started to feel that snake in her belly moving. He felt the tell-tale flutter of her clamping around him and he continued his voracious pace until she cried out, a loud scream before she dropped her head to his shoulder, as she moaned his name, again and again whilst he pounded through her orgasm chasing his own.

“Shit, Katie! I’m…fuck!” his words tumbled into her hair as his movements became desperate and he came with such a force that he felt his knees buckling underneath him and even his super strength wasn’t enough to keep him upright, the absolute gratification he felt was just too much. He caught her as the pair of them collapsed to the dirty concrete floor, her on top of him, a tangle of clothing and limbs, chests heaving, sweat on both their brows as he held her to him, panting and shaking. Neither of them had any idea how long they stayed like that, but eventually Steve managed to gain enough control to sit them both upright, his wife on his lap has he gently brushed the tendrils of hair that had fallen over her face back, and looked at her, his lips gently greeting hers in a soft, tender kiss, a stark contrast to the violent ones they had shared moments before. She smiled at him, unadulterated love in her eyes as she moved her hands to brush his hair back before she leaned down and kissed him again, before her nose slide against his.

“I adore you.” She whispered softly, and he pulled her to him, nuzzling into her neck as he sighed.

“Feeling is mutual, Doll” He murmured, causing her to chuckle before they heard a noise in both their ears.

“Yeah, erm, you do realise your coms were on. That whole time.” Sam’s tone was laced with dismay.  “Erm yep, so we errr, we heard everything.”

Steve felt himself grow cold and he let out a soft groan of utter embarrassment into Katie’s neck

“Most excitement Sammy’s had in years.” Natasha quipped

Katie on the other hand, instead of shrinking with humiliation, threw back her head and laughed, and when Steve looked up at her, unsure exactly what she found so funny about it all, he saw her just fucked pink flush, her eyes which were practically crinkled shut in mirth, her perfect teeth surrounding by those plump lips he could kiss all day, and that freckle spattered nose which was wrinkled as she continued to howl with amusement.

And right then he didn’t care what Sam and Natasha had heard, because frankly, seeing her like that was worth whatever digs and snarky comments that were going to get their way. 

******

April 2018

“Huh…” Nat mused as they entered the dilapidated house, her and Katie pulling off their hoods and masks “Guess my old KGB contacts can pull through in a pinch.”

“We should move fast.” Steve looked at the door to the small, market stall lined street outside “Won’t take long for them to notice something is wrong.”

“I’ll keep watch.” Katie nodded, peering out through the crack in the door into the dusty, desert air as Natasha examined the gun she was holding.

“Definitely Chitauri. Although they’ve been heavily modified.”

Natasha effortlessly deactivated the weapons and they worked quickly and efficiently packing them into the crates ready to take them to the outskirts of the city to the drop point.

“You reckon we’ve earned a break after these ones?” Sam asked, as they began to load the heavy crates onto the back of the truck. Steve smiled as he looked at Sam. They’d been on back to back missions pretty much since New Year so far, the latest of which had brought Steve back to a very familiar market place in Yemen, one he had swore he would never come back to after the last time he’d run an op here. It was hot, dusty, and he had to admit to himself (because he would never admit it to anyone else) he was ready for a break.

“Yeah I think Wanda had the right idea.” Katie mumbled. She wasn’t feeling all that great if truth be told. She’d woken up a few days ago with a dodgy stomach after what she suspected was bad chicken, and it was taking her a while to shake it off. 

They made the drop and headed back to the jet where Katie grabbed another bottle of water and sank into one of the chairs, almost draining it in one. After a few breaths, the queasiness she had been feeling all the drive back to the jet dissipated somewhat and she lay her head back, closing her eyes.

Steve passed his wife, his hand gently running over her hair as she leaned back to take a nap. He knew she wasn’t feeling great but she’d assured him it was nothing serious. Steve was pleased to note that she looked better than she had done a few days ago, there was more colour in her cheeks, so hopefully she was over the worst of it.

Sam got them airborne and set the coordinates for the Safe House, and Steve found himself looking forward to getting back after almost five weeks away. The jet was pretty much silent for a few hours, Steve at one point switching out with Sam to allow him to get some rest too. That last mission had been a hard one, but worth it.

“Have either of you heard from Wanda?” Natasha asked a little while later, as she looked up from the tablet she was poking about on.

Steve shook his head as did Sam. Natasha let out a growl. “She’s deactivated the tracker on her phone. I warned her about that last time.”  

“She isn’t a prisoner Nat.” Steve raised his eyebrows, looking over at Katie who was still sleeping.  “She knows the risks. She’s been doing it on and off for the last two years.”

“I get that, but we don’t know where she is.”

“Look, we should be back at the safe house in what, an hour or so? Let’s wait and see if she’s there.” Steve suggested. “If we don’t hear from her by the morning, then we’ll worry.”

Nat opened her mouth to argue back but Steve shot her his infamous captain glare, signalling the debate was over. She shrugged.

“On your head be it.” She said, nonchalantly before completely changing the subject. “Fury’s patched through a new target- another Terrorist Sect grouping for an attack he suspects.”

“Where is it this time?” Sam called from the cockpit.

“Columbia” Natasha answered.

“Alright,” Steve nodded. “We’ll take a proper look at it once we’re back at the Safe House”

At that point. Katie gave a soft murmur as she stretched out her limbs, opening one eye blearily, then the other. She blinked and Steve stood up, heading over to her.

“Hey, sleepy.” He smiled, dropping a soft kiss to her temple as he crouched down in front of her. “You sure you’re okay?”

Katie at her husband, his handsome face sported a few more lines than it had done this time two years ago, and the spectacular beard he had sported hid his jawline, but his eyes never changed, and here they were so full of concern and love over something so minor as an upset stomach that it almost made her laugh.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She smiled. “I feel much better now.” Which she did. The funny feeling in her stomach and fuzziness in her head was well gone.

Before Steve could say anything else, Sam called his name and he glanced round as he straightened up and looked at the screen on the cockpit.

“Cap, I’m getting a report, some kind of ship”

“Where?” Steve asked as the pair of us turned to face him.

“Seems to be over the mainland UK of all places.” Sam frowned “It’s not much, but it’s big for sure. We’re not far out, fancy a slight detour on the way home, see what it is?”

Before he could answer, Nat strode to the middle of the jet, tablet in her hand.

“You need to see this.”

She swiped at the screen and the footage she was referring to appeared on the hologram display. Katie watched a familiar red and gold figure speeding through the air over the familiar back drop of down-town New York, tangling with, well, she wasn’t sure what the hell they were.

“Oh my God.” she muttered, as she read the tag line playing across the bottom of the news report- New York attacked.

The four of them paused as more footage showed the kid known as Spider-Man swinging through the air, and two other men, one with a long, crimson cloak, all facing off against two foes.  

“When did this happen?” Steve asked eventually, looking at Nat

“15 minutes or so ago.”

Steve didn’t say anything, instead he moved to the locker at the back of the jet, and taking a deep breath, he pulled out his half of the pair of burner phones he had gotten from T’Challa almost two years ago. Stark’s technology still, after all these years, amazed him. An amplified booster on all the jets he owned made it possible to for a mobile phone to continue working whilst in the air. He glanced up at Katie, before flipping open the phone and then all four of them stopped dead as it began to ring before Steve had the chance to even dial. 

“Stark?” His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he asked the question, even though there was no one else with that number…

“Steve, hi, it’s Bruce. It’s err, been a while.”

Steve paused his eyes widening at the surprise at hearing his onetime team mate. “Yeah, yeah it has,” was all he could say. “Listen, there’s not a lot of time to explain but something big, someone big to be exact, is coming, and they’re after Vision.” “Vision?” Steve paused, standing still where he had been pacing unknowingly.

“For the Stone.” Bruce continued. “He’s turned off his transponder so we can’t track him, but Tony…” Bruce took a deep voice and Steve glanced up at Katie who was watching him intently. “Tony went after the ship, Cap, he’s on the ship, heading out to space, but before it all started he was about to call you. He said that you might be able to find Vision. And we need to, we need to before they do. You got any idea where he is?”

Steve listened to Bruce’s rambles, a million and one questions were whirring round his head, but there was no time for that. If this was as big an issue as he said, they had to find Vision. And right now, he would hazard a guess that he was wherever that huge ship over the UK was.

“I don’t know for sure, but I have a pretty good idea.” He sighed.

“You need to get him before they do Steve, and I mean it. This is the biggest threat we’ve ever faced. This guy, well even Thor couldn’t stop him.”

Now that really did worry him, but again there was time to think about that later. “Leave it with us.” he said gently, before he closed the phone and stuck it into his pocket.

“What is it?” Katie asked, “Was that Tony?”

Ignoring her, Steve strode to the front of the jet and spoke to Sam. “That reading. Can you get a lock on it?”

“Piece of cake”

“Get us there, fast.” Steve instructed. Sam nodded to show he had understood.

Steve looked back at Natasha and Katie as his wife crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation, not impressed with being ignored.

“Whatever is on that Ship, chances are they’re looking for Vision.” Steve said simply “They want the stone in his head.”

“Wanda…” Nat muttered gently, as she hurried to the front of the jet.

Katie’s eyes however went back on the footage of the spinning space ship above the city they once called home.

“Steve.” She said eventually “Tell me please, how was he?”

“Sweetheart, it wasn’t Tony.” Steve replied, his voice low as he looked up at the cockpit. Natasha and Sam were busy flicking switches. “It was Banner”

“Banner?” she frowned “But what? I mean how?” “I don’t know but he said that Tony had go-…”

“We got it, Cap.” Sam interrupted. “Just over Edinburgh, I’ve locked in the route, we should be wheels down in ten.”

Steve nodded and then turned back to Katie as she carried on speaking.

“What about Tony?” she pressed.

Steve opened his mouth to answer but he stopped, his eyes falling onto the footage, still playing on the hollovision. Katie followed his gaze, the next line across the bottom answered her question.

Billionaire Tony Stark missing.

Katie couldn’t find any words to say. Instead she felt her breathing deepen and she swallowed thickly staring at the footage. Missing? Like, kidnapped? Missing in Action, missing presumed dead…a thousand and one thoughts  began running through her head, all of them coming back to the last time they had seen one another, the harsh exchange of words and him telling her he was ashamed of her before she left him in that cold bunker in Siberia.

Steve’s hand dropped onto his wife’s shoulder as he noticed her lip was beginning to wobble. 

“We get Vision and then we work on finding him.” He assured her gently, looking at Katie who looked up at him.

“We best hope we find him.” She swallowed again before she looked down at her hands. “Because if worst comes to worst and the last time we spoke to each other was when we parted on such bad terms, I’ll never forgive myself Steve.”

**** O/S: Vanilla

Chapter 36 Part 1

**Original Posting**

[tired0artist]

sing to me (part one)

paring: female!V x Johnny Silverhand

summary: a street kid V falls in love with SAMURAI music and idolises Johnny Silverhand. years later she finally understands the saying “never meet your idols”

warnings: angst and fluff, Johnny being a dick as always, arguments, Jackie and V are like siblings, Mama Wells is the best, grief, V plays the guitar, more/different warnings in the future parts

note: I’m describing my V, but you can imagine her however you want tho

•SAMURAI fan V (street kid)•

Ever since she heard “Never Fade Away” playing on some radio on the streets, she fell in love with it.

She was around 13 and world was shitty, she was angry at the corpos and other rich bastards (her rebellious years really).

So finding out that basically the whole SAMURAI was fucking the corpos and singing about it? Also that Johnny Silverhand bombed Arasaka? Fucking legendary.

One of the happiest days of her life.

V started scavenging for their old records, t-shirts and shit like that. And her first payment for stealing some shard from some corpo fuck, went for a new record player.

When she hit 17, V snuck into some fancy bar to see Kerry Eurodyne playing. Of course he was playing some of his own songs, but couple of SAMURAI ones were there.

Another great day in her life.

Turning 21 instead of going drinking or something like that. V found herself at a music store, buying her first guitar.

For a year she was teaching herself how to play. To the point where her fingertips started scaring, from all the times she played until she bleed.

At 22 she played at some bar, earning some descent money. And a broken nose from some fuck who dared to insult her playing.

He of course looked far worse than she did.

That was when she met Jackie, while trying to steal a car.

Apparently getting your shit beaten out of you by cops, was a great start of a friendship.

Greatest day in her life.

She stopped sleeping in an old warehouse and moved in with Jackie, to his mama’s basement.

V felt the happiest there, the warmth and freedom of her new home. That’s how she wrote her first song.

“You should be a musician, you’re really talented” said Mama Wells as she came upon V humming and playing out on the balcony, Jackie sitting next to her with a beer.

V laughed but didn’t stop playing “Yeah sure”

“Mama is right! You could be a star chica” Jackie said, being as optics always.

“You could play at El Coyote Cojo during the weekends” Mama Wells said with a smile.

“I don’t know, the last time I played at a bar it ended up in a fight” V said, chewing on her lip.

“Chica... I’ll be your bodyguard. I’ll even wear a suit!” said Jackie with a grin.

V laughed “I sure would like to see that”

“So, I’m going to tell Pepe to set everything up for you” said Mama Wells with a smile “Now come on ninõs, dinner is ready”

And so for three years, V was regularly playing at Mama Wells’ bar.

Some people even got inside just to listen to her play and sometimes sing whenever she felt like using her words to channel even more emotions through her music.

And then came the worst couple of days of her life.

“Dexter Deshawn!!! Can you believe it V?! We could finally be on top!” said Jackie on their way to Afterlife.

V smiled at her friend, as her heart screamed that it wasn’t what she wanted anymore. When she met Jackie she wanted to the best of the best.

But after so many years with music? She longed to play. Even to get her own album someday!

And yet she bit her tongue, buried her dreams thinking.

I’ll help Jackie get on top and then I’ll take care of my own dreams.

But it didn’t happen.

Jackie died along with V’s musical soul, right in that Delamain. As the rain poured against the windows, creating an off rhythm that reminded her of her stuttering and crushed heart.

Next thing she knows after that, is that she died.

Then woke up.

Got saved by Takemura.

Nearly died again.

And once again woke up, this time at Vik’s.

Panic was clawing at her chest as she remembered hazily her hallucinations, tears gathered in her eyes as she didn’t know what was happening to her.

“These hallucinations... explain them to me”

“I-I’m on stage... but not at El Coyote... I don’t recognise it. T-The music is loud and aggressive... familiar in a way but I can’t remember it clearly anymore... lights are shining on my face as I scream to the crowd. I-I’m full of rage and no matter how much I’ll scream... it won’t go away...”

She then chuckled humourlessly “And then... just don’t laugh at me. I bombed the Arasaka tower...”

“Nothing there to laugh about, kid...” Vik said, his eyes showing sadness.

“The worst part is that... I can still feel this rage. And some... frustration? Irritation? But I-I don’t know why. I don’t feel that way? Then why?”

Vik sat down, saying “These hallucinations.. they were memories. There’s a personality construct on that shard. Dreams you had, were from his past”

“So you’re saying that... I was experiencing another psyche’s memories? How’s that even possible?” V asked, the alien irritation in her head growing.

“You two are connected in a way that I can’t make head or tail out of”

“Two? Me and who Vik? Who’s in my head?” she asked, anxiety growing in her chest.

“Johnny Silverhand. A terrorist. A real talk of the town back in my days”

V’s breath got stuck in her throat as she said “You’re saying... that there’s a dead rockerboy in my head. The same one who played with SAMURAI?”

Victor just nodded, and the fear inside her grew.

But that wasn’t even the worst part yet.

“He’s overwriting your consciousness. You don’t have much time left kid... few weeks tops”

V cried with fear begging Victor to help her, but there’s nothing he could do.

Nothing anyone could do.

The same night she met him. The guy that she admired as a kid. The guy who was a part of her favourite band. The guy who inspired her into making her own music.

And the guy who was killing her.

Silverhand tossed her around her apartment, surprising her with that fact that he could touch her.

It made her afraid of him. Because no one would help her if he suddenly decided to kill her. To them it would seem like cyber psychosis.

But still she fought back. She had nothing to loose after Jackie. She glared at him, yelled at him and crawled her way towards the pills.

“Fuck off!” she said to him, seconds before he dematerialised. With that she laid down and fell asleep on the ground, her body too exhausted to move.

Next morning was hell for her.

Her head was in agony not only from the fact that she was shot in the head, but also because it got smashed into a window.

She washed herself, took care of her broken nose, dressed in her favourite black leather pants, grey sleeveless hoodie and black biker vest. Putting on her combat boots and pulling the hood over her still damp peach-pink hair, she left her apartment.

As she was leaving the bloc, Takemura called her. Asking to meet up.

V didn’t want to, but the man was persistent. So finally she agreed and still feeling like shit, took the metro to their meeting place.

Takemura was easy to find, his clean and fancy clothing standing out.

The man seemed reliable and openly spoke about what he wanted. She could work with that.

After Goro left, V let out a deep breath. A feeling of hope finally igniting in her, that maybe. Just maybe, she’ll be able to survive.

But that moment of peace lasted only couple of seconds as Silverhand appeared, sitting in front of her as if he was really there, tapping his hands against the table.

“Zapper-dumples and filth. In some ways, Night City never changes. Arasaka’s still a despotic machine and the world’s on a collision course with chaos. But hey, at least Rogue’s still alive” the man said, his leg on the table looking like a jackass.

Or a rockerboy.

V’s fear and anger bleed into one as she said angrily and quite loudly.

“You know, you got some nerve. First you’re out to kill me, now you wanna be my choom? Make like nothing happened?”

People turned to stare at her as if she’s lost her mind. Making her realise that, yeah. Only she could see that fucker.

And to think that she idolised the bastard as a kid.

Silverhand looked around at the people saying “You know you don’t gotta speak out loud to talk to me?”

V glared at him, her fingers twitching.

“What. Do. You. Want” she said in her mind.

“I’ve processed some shit, changed my mind. Don’t want you dead anymore”

“Go fuck yourself, you fucking dick” she said angrily, pointing her finger at him.

“Hey, wasn’t easy for me, either. You woke up in a landfill, I woke up in your head. Wrestling with your thoughts, memories. Think we’re even”

“The fuck we are! I didn’t try to murder you, while you were almost dead in your bed!” she accused, not feeling scared anymore. Just angry.

Silverhand pretended he didn’t hear her as he took off his glasses saying “I’ve taken a step back, looked at things... think we might be able to help each other. We could start with Rogue. Her and I go back to the stone age”

V snorted “I don’t know if you realised it yet. But you’re dead Silverhand. No one close to my age even knows that you ever existed. Your friends are either dead or so old that their memory is shit”

Silverhand looked ready to murder her but she didn’t stop.

“And what? You fucking know Rogue. What do you expect me to say to her? That I have a parasite inside my brain that would love to meet her? I’ll be out of the Afterlife before I can say “SAMURAI””

“Rogue’s heard dumber shit than that. Way back when you weren’t even an itch in your daddy’s ballsack” he said, the alien feeling of annoyance becoming clearer inside her. He leaned back and put his hands behind his head, his other leg joining the first one on the table “Rogue will dance to any tune I play her. Just get us to the Afterlife”

V stood up and leaned down on the table, their faces inches from each other “You think you’re so smart Silverhand. So fucking clever. But let me give you an advice, old man” she watched him glare back at her, as she continued “I admired you as a kid. You know that, from my memories. But should also know from them, that I don’t bow down to anyone. Especially to dicks like you. So now. Be a good little ghost and fade away”

With that she stood up and left. Silverhand didn’t appear again that day, which she counted as a win.

•english isn’t my first language so sorry for any errors.

•you wanna be tagged in the next parts? leave a comment!

•thanks for reading! hope you like it. I will be going through some parts of the main story and beyond. I’m planning it to be a bit longer so if you want something longer than 5/6 parts, this is for you

[clairecrive]

"Jewish women" - Alfie Solomons x reader imagine

Hello everyone! I'm actually drawing in stuff to study but since I had this sitting for a while in my drafts I thought to give it to you while I try and work on the other imagines I've talked you about. I'm sorry if there are any typos but I haven't proofread it.

I just wanted to thank you for the support you've been giving me, it's actually mind-blowing and I'm very thankful for every smallest interaction you give me. From a like to a comment to an ask, they all warm my heart. So thank you, thank you, thank you.💞❤️

I'm sure I've bored you with this by now but remember that I'm always here for you. Not only for your requests but even if you just want to talk!

Well, I'm gonna leave now. Hope you have a great day and like this imagine. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog (let me know if you wanna be added)

Hearing Alfie shout wasn't a shock for anyone who had been to the bakery more than once. His strong voice filled the building and you were able to listen to what he was saying even if his office was far from the basement he was in.

"Jewish women? You do not go anywhere near them, because Jewish women for you are off the fucking menu." You hear him threatening and furrow your eyes in wonder.

You knew that Alfie was very protective of his people but why warn those men against going for Jewish women in particular though? Don't all women deserve the same kind of respect? Does this mean that he held them higher in his regards than other women? If that's so, then why was he wasting his time with you?

You didn't consider yourself as religious but you were a Catholic. Hebraism doesn't look well at mixed religious pairing, you knew that. Alfie never talked about it so you just figured that he didn't want that for himself and you had accepted it. Now though, in the light of what you just heard, you began to question your relationship with Alfie. It was still in the early stages so you didn't expect for things to become serious in the near future. Although, there was no point in denying that you wanted, hoped them to. Even if it took a couple of months.  Now you started to wonder if he wanted the same thing though.

What if he was fooling around with you because he knew that he couldn't get what he wanted from Jewish women? or that he respected them more than he did you?

The realisation hit you like a heavy brick to your face and suddenly breathing wasn't such an easy natural process, the air getting stuck in your throat. Feeling the walls of Alfie's office begin to close on you, you get up knowing that you should get the hell out of that place. You quickly stumble out of his office and hurry down the hallway too focused on steadying your breath to notice him before you. His strong hands reached out to hold your arms before you could crash into him.

"Woah, slow down pet. Where the 'ell are ya goin' in such a 'urry?" he says, amusement filled his voice until he saw the millions of emotions that swirled in your eyes. Wondering what could have happened in the safety of his office, he begins to open his mouth to ask you what was wrong, when your voice precedes him.

"I need to get out of here, please  excuse me." you weakly say trying to wiggle out of his hold.

"What are ya talkin' about? What's the matter pet eh?" he asks now concerned.

"As you don't already know." you can't help but mutter under your breath making his eyebrows go up in wonder.

"What shoul' I know?"

Annoyed with his apparent naivety you struggled with more force to get out of his grip. Noticing your discomfort he lets you go and you immediately bolt away from him and out of the bakery.

"Where the fuck are you goin' eh? Y/N!" you hear him call you from behind you and fearing that he was following you, you pick up your pace to put as much space as possible between you two. Storming out of the bakery you started to mindlessly walk away from it. You felt like had been walking for hours, exhausted with tearstained cheeks you sat on a bench to catch your breath.

"Would ya be so kind as to tell me what the fuck is goin' on Y/N?" his voice startles you when he plops beside you. You hadn't noticed him following you out of the building. He was out of breath and you knew about his bad hip so seeing him so dishevelled made you feel guilty.

"Alfie your leg. You shouldn't have followed me." you said trying to stop your voice from trembling.

"You joking, right? You storm out of my office, a crying mess and you expect me to just let you go?" he explains offended

"Why would you care? I'm not Jewish." you mutter huffy

"And what the hell does that have to do with anything?" he asks surprised

Gathering up all the courage you were able to find in your small body, you finally ask the question you were dreading to.

"Are you with me just to spend your time while you look around to find a nice Jewish woman you can marry?" you tried to keep all your emotions off your face.

Your question makes him frown and his bushy eyebrow shot up. Nodding in understanding he finally replies. "You heard what I said down there didn't you?"

"I think the whole London heard you." you scoff

"Well then love, there's something ya should know," he said and you braced yourself. "Camden Town is primely inhabited by Jewish families, innit? Since I got the bakery running I promised to take care of those families. I wanted those gypsies fuckers to know their place, right?" he tries to make you see his logic

"Yeah well I also live in Camden Town, don't I deserve the same amount of respect they do?"

"If you think that I haven't let them know that if they so much as look at you twice I'll shoot them in the fucking eyes, you don't really know me love." he replies scoffing at the insinuation

"Doesn't it bother you that I don't share your religious beliefs then? That we can't marry?" you shyly ask him with a blush blossoming on your cheeks

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there, won't we love? In the mean time, I don't give a fuck about anything that isn't you. Besides, no one can stop me from marrying you when the time is right." he sweetly admits holding your hand while removing the tears from your face. You couldn't help the smile that crept on your face at his sweet yet somehow smug words.

" Now gimme a kiss love. " he grumply said and you were more than happy to obliged, your heart finally at rest knowing that all your insecurities were unfounded.

[helisol]

Wait so.. link to this quodo fic you mentioned in your tags?? I’m intrigued :DD

its only an idea but i will HAPPILY ramble about it in detail under this read more because i never finish writing fics but i do love sharing my notes.

they get Pretty Extensive considering this clocked in at 2k words. so strap in.

tl;dr: karaoke night gone wild leads to garashir and quodo setting each other up for holodeck shenanigans

so basically quark has acquired a karaoke program. everyone on ds9 is going mad about it and it's keeping the holosuites booked out for weeks

the main squad decides to try it out and they just jam to a mix of human, klingon and bajoran music. but lets be real it's mostly human music because i have a mighty need to see captain benjamin sisko tear up the dancefloor to Earth Wind & Fire’s September. so sue me.

anyway everyone has to sing, even odo, even garak and they all have a blast. the only person who is notably absent is Quark because Quark has a bar to run and Quark can't indulge in mindless fun activities when he has money to make.

Unless… Odo challenges him and he has to prove that Odo is wrong.

so yeah quark checks on the gang to see how they like this “Hooman Kara-oke” and if he can sell them some drinks and everyone is like “hey you should sing. just one song. we won't even laugh about your bad ferengi singing! we promise!"

and quark is about to say "ferengi voices arent that bad. im still not gonna sing tho."

but odo is ahead of the game and insults his grating voice and how it could only be worse in song. and because this is quark he’s like “actually fuck you. now I WILL sing.”

so he snatches the mic from whoever was about to go next and fucking Crushes It. 

while odo starts Looking Respectfully everyone else is just going "woooooo! go quark!" which makes quark just get even more into it

Takes His Jacket Off, Drops It On The Floor, Dances With The Microphone Stand. The Works. and he's also enjoying himself like "haha! suck it odo! i'm a good performer, it's how I make money!"

until he actually looks at Odo and Odo is Looking Back and then he’s like “wait what the fuck why is he looking at me” and Promptly Messes Up A Step And Falls Off The Stage-

so now quark has a twisted ankle and julian has to take him to the infirmary, which bums out quite literally Everyone and the gathering disperses, leaving only Garak and Odo.

garak as we know is but a simple tailor, but he’s Observant and his little lizard eyes did spy odo looking at quark and making the soup-version of heart eyes. we also know he is the gayest bicth on this station so of course he’s going to poke and prod at odo to see how he reacts.

garak waits until everyone is out of the room and asks odo if he can walk the dear constable home to the ol’ bucket. because odo looked a little melty during quark’s performance, y’know. it’d be bad if he turned into soup on the promenade.

odo denies this, of course, so garak is like “oh great then we can have a Chat :)”

and odo goes "wait no i hate talking” but then they’re in garaks shop and drinking kanar and garak is getting drunk off his lizard ass and talking about Julian because, again, he IS THAT BITCH!

meanwhile in the infirmary, Julian is trying to take care of quark’s ankle, but since he’s nosy and kinda Knows that quark wouldn’t just mess up his steps for no reason he asks about that.

and quark loudly goes “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS JUST FIX MY DAMN ANKLE-”

which of course turns the nosyness up to 11 and has julian going 👀

"no i mean uh- i was distracted" "distracted? by what?" "nothing" "distracted by nothing?" "FIX. MY. ANKLE."

so julian sits him down on a biobed and gets whatever medical thingie fixes ankles in the 24th century. and while he does that he offers quark some wine to loosen the tongue about what made him slip.

anyway one thing leads to another and before you know it quark and julian are wine-drunk sitting on the infirmary floor and talking about garak. which suits quark just fine because it means he doesn’t have to admit he fell because odo was looking at him like he just revealed all the secrets of the universe along with his bare arms when he took off his jacket.

so we have two sets of gay idiots getting drunk in two locations and the next morning two sets of gay idiots have hangovers. yes odo gets a hangover. being soup does not exempt him from it.

julian and odo do the right, logical thing and take some meds to go to work and be productive and garak shows up in the bar to fight fire with fire and finds quark Already Doing That. 

so they just sit next to each other, beating their hangovers with more alcohol, and they get to talking.

garak goes on about how he took odo home and pretty much only talked about julian all night and quark is like “wow what a coincidence, the doctor and i only talked about you all night.” 

and it's all downhill from there because basically quark and garak just figured out that the garashir pining is Mutual.

"wait, julian was looking at me???" "yes." "AND I WAS LOOKING AT JULIAN-" "Yes."

and then they hash out this elaborate scheme to trap julian and garak in one of the Spy holosuite programs until they make out. this is garak and quark planning. how could they NOT make an elaborate scheme involving holosuites.

anyway i promised quodo so i will keep the ‘garashir makes out in the holosuite’ section a lil more brief

so within the next two days these two gay bitches whip up a new “The Adventures Of Agent Bashir” program, but quark has ‘adjusted’ the program a little so that it only ends when the main characters kiss. fun stuff.

garak and julian go through the program, havin a blast being spies, but at the end garak’s character gets “shot”, and they are so immersed in the story that julian is Actually Concerned and garak Actually Acts like he's in pain.

they kiss, the program ends, and garak- not actually shot- goes “haha gotcha, you wanted to kiss me before i died” 

so they walk out the holosuite one hour after their time is already up with a lot of hickeys and untied bowties. hooray.

But That’s Not What We’re Here For.

after garak and julian come down from the high of getting together julian asks Just How and Why quark would agree to help with this. quark Never helps Unless he’s helping himself.

and they realised Quark Has Played Them Like Cheap Kazoos. he just wanted to take attention away from himself and the unanswered question of why he suddenly fell off the stage.

so they go "wait, if odo and quark were both lying and obscuring facts and being weird about this, doesn't that mean- ohhh"

and it boils down to them deciding to help those poor fuckers because they are apparently off even worse than they were in terms of mutual pining.

they also hash out an elaborate scheme. this time it involves odo’s never ending hard on for finding reasons to throw quark into jail.

since quark technically violated the holosuite rules by locking garak and julian in there garak goes over to odo to report the “Crime”

after some back and forth about Why In The World Garak, Friend And Tailor, would report a crime to odo that doesn’t affect anyone’s safety Odo heads to the bar to investigate the holosuites and if there really was criminal activity.

he doesn’t ask quark for permission, mostly because he’d never ask permission to snoop around in quark’s property but also because quark is actually not there at the moment. for Some Reason he’s being held up in the infirmary. Weird.

so odo is looking through the holosuite recordings of the last few days, and he runs through what garak said was the illegal activity of locking them in there and just goes "Ah, alright, i can throw him in a holding cell for that.” but then he sees a message left by garak.

it was apparently left there today so garak must have prepared this which means something is afoot. and the message just reads "the karaoke session was recorded and you might wanna check what Actually™ made quark trip :)"

to which odo reacts with "hmph. why should i care. maybe hes just messing with me and quark tripped over a cable." but Odo looks at it anyway. respectfully.

and he watches the whole performance up until the point where quark falls. Multiple Times. until he remembers that this is a criminal investigation and he finally looks at the part where he falls from quark’s perspective, which is the important one.

and he just. looks right at himself. looking at quark.

and holy shit. he looked at him like he was going to shove him against a wall, not to beat him up, but to make out with him. he straight up looked like he was going to mess him up but not with his fists.

so he stands right in front of quark and replays that moment to see quark’s reaction and analyse how he fell. and sure enough quark Saw Him and his knees gave out.

after that he really just wants to walk out and spend the next 30 hours as a houseplant to cleanse his mind of any quark-related thoughts but uh oh. when he opens the holosuite door Quark Is Right There.

and odo panics and just pulls him inside, accidentally re-initiating the spy program.

“But how did Quark happen to be there at just the right time?” i hear you ask well it was OUR MAN BASHIR

while garak was at odos place telling him to investigate quark’s wrongdoings, quark himself got called to the infirmary for a check-up on his twisted ankle.

and julian kept him there, examining his ankle over and over, until garak came in to Insinuate that Someone is snooping around in the holosuites.

so quark, yelling "NO COPS IN MY BAR", hurries over to the holosuites on his totally fine ankle and bada bing bada boom, here we are.

with two idiots stuck in a locked holosuite.

odo is like "QUARK WTF" meanwhile quark is like "ODO WTF"

"YOU LOCKED US IN A HOLOSUITE" "NO YOU LOCKED US IN A HOLOSUITE" ”well it was you who pulled me in here" "but it was you who designed it like this"

anyway to get out they have to go through the program somehow. quark and garak programmed this very carefully. unless they follow the general story, there’s no way out.

and at first quark says "listen, its okay, we just have to kiss" to which odo replies with that kinda look you’d get from someone if you told them to swallow a cactus whole, for fun.

"you heard me" "quark if this is a joke-" "its not. i made rom pull an all nighter to put in the new sensors." "you paid him for this???" "no." "right of course."

and after a very quick cheek kiss doesn’t end up doing the trick the two actually go through the program properly. except quark knows the script, cheats a little, takes shortcuts and totally doesnt impress odo by shooting a few hologram guards on the way.

so they get to the end, where they believe odo is supposed to get “shot”, but turns out they mixed up the roles and quark is the one who gets shot.

And Odo Doesn’t Know. The Safeties. Are. On.

so he tearfully goes "WAIT NO- QUARK!" and quark is like "odo...odo come closer..."

"yes, quark?"

"kiss me"

"quark please dont die i'll kiss you and we'll beam you straight to the infirmary and-" "ODO JUST KISS ME"

and then they kiss. the holosuite controls unlock and quark thinks ‘oh great, now we can leave-’ but odo doesnt stop kissing him

and he doesn’t Stop kissing him until quark actually speaks up and has to go "HEY IF THIS WERE REAL I’D BE DYING BY NOW-"

"what?" "the safeties are on. I didn’t get shot. you just had to kiss me to unlock the controls-"

and odo is like "QUARK"

and quark is like "ODO"

and then odo gets up and is very convinced that he Must Turn Into A Houseplant For A Ferengi Lifespan To Atone For His Sins.

but quark says “no, wait. can you do it again?”

"yelling at you?" "kissing me."

anyway odo finally gets to fulfill his fantasy of pushing quark against a wall and quark finally gets kissed by odo like hes dreamed of for like 15 years or however long ago it was that they were first on terok nor together during the cardassian occupation.

the end.

[whole-lotta-hoes]

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

-

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

-

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

-

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

[connorandersons-blog]

Let’s Give them Something to Talk About

Rating: Explicit Word count: 7039   Ship: RK1000 (Connor/Markus) Chapter: 1/5

Summary: The Jericho team plus Connor need to think up a way to distract the public from the fact that North punched a very important human. What better way than the Deviant Leader dating the Deviant Hunter?

Thank you to @gavincantreedthis for beta reading this!

--------------------------------

Markus paced back and forth, rubbing his hands against his forearms. Connor couldn't blame him, he was stressed too. North had punched a very important man (rightly so, but still) and now public opinion was going down. 

The thing was, everyone still thought Markus and North were together. So, they had to find a way to draw attention away from North and the possibility that Markus condoned it because of their supposed dating. 

There were a few options, but none seemed to be dramatic enough. Since androids could now legally marry, the population had been asking when Markus was going to propose to North. 

Connor hated it. It was putting pressure on Markus where there shouldn't be. He shouldn't have to worry about breaking the news to the public now and have it backfire. Or have people assume it was because of the punch. 

Then the door slammed open and North, Josh, and Simon came in. North was stomping her way in while Simon and Josh moved much more silently. 

"Those fuckers are saying I punched him ‘cause he was flirting with you! Ugh!" North said, throwing her hands into the air. "I may have kissed you that one time but like, ew! I literally have a girlfriend now." 

Right, Connor had introduced Tina and North together after he overhead Tina commenting about how amazing North was one too many times. 

They hit it off incredibly well and it didn't take long for the two to kiss and get together. Connor felt like a proud parent whenever the two were around each other. 

"I know, we need a distraction. Something to make them forget about that. Just coming out with the full story won't do any good," Markus sighed, finally sitting down next to Connor. 

It had taken Connor awhile, but he now felt comfortable enough to place a soothing hand on Markus's back.

Markus was the type to seek out physical contact while Connor generally shied away. It wasn't like he had the best history with being touched. After all, it was generally someone punching him or Hank's rare hugs. 

He did his best to at least pat people on the shoulder, but even then it was a bit awkward. The only two people he felt even remotely comfortable touching without explicit permission was Hank and Markus. 

Markus sighed and leaned into the touch, smiling slightly at Connor. It's hard not to smile back when someone like Markus is smiling at you. 

"You two could say you're dating," Simon said, making Connor practically jump out of his synthetic skin. 

He pulled his hand back like he had been shocked (which is entirely possible actually) and sat up straight. 

North made a small sound, nodding her head. "That's not drastic enough, but I think this could work." 

"North," Markus said, squinting at her. She waved him off, still clearly thinking. 

"You need to get married." 

"What?!" Connor and Markus said this at the same time. 

It made North snort and glance at the other two. "It makes sense. You announce that you're engaged to Connor, and explain that we split up right after the revolution. People will eat this up. Deviant Hunter fell for the Deviant Leader himself." 

Connor hated to admit it, but this might actually work. He was sure he could make it believable but this would end three ways. 

The first was that they staged a breakup before or after they actually got married. The second was they let it slowly die out until no one even cares anymore. And the last was that they actually stayed married. He highly doubted the last would happen, but statistically speaking, there's always a chance for unlikely events to take place. 

"I don't want to do that to Connor, it's unfair. If it just affects me that would be fine, but I don't need to drag anyone into this," Markus said, shaking his head. 

That was sweet, but Connor would do anything to help them. He fucking stormed the Cyberlife tower single-handedly for crying out loud! "I'm in if you are." 

Markus snapped his head around to stare at Connor, who could only shrug. "No, we can think of something else." 

"If it's me that's the problem, then I'm sure Simon wouldn't mind," Connor said, trying to play it off as chill. Admittedly it did hurt somewhat. He didn't have feelings for Markus in that way but he wasn't opposed to the idea either. 

Was Connor really that unlovable? 

It must have shown on his face because Markus was quick to put his hand on Connor's knee. "It's not that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable and lose you as a friend." 

"You won't lose me. From my calculations, it'll only take over a month until this dies down. We announce our engagement and jump right to a wedding if you really want to distract people." Though, the whole world was focused on them and everything they did. 

"It's not a bad idea, Markus. If you're both willing then I don't see the problem." Josh finally spoke up. 

That seemed to do it for Markus as he nodded. "Alright, but he can't just rush into this. We have to plan this out in a way that feels natural and not like a purposeful distraction." 

"Yeah. Maybe let the news 'catch' the two of you on a date, holding hands. Make it look like you're hiding it," North suggested. 

Hold hands, Connor could do that. Maybe even a small kiss on the cheek, nothing too crazy. 

"Then maybe they can catch you making out. Oh! Maybe against a wall. Not sure who'd be the top but you guys can figure that out." North said, flapping her hand like it was no big deal. 

In reality, it was a really big fucking deal. But he didn't have to think about it too much right now. It wasn't like they were going to be caught doing that anytime soon. 

Markus's eyes went wide and he started rubbing his forearms again. A nervous tic, Connor noted, but didn't think too hard on it. He was nervous too, so it didn't mean anything. "Are you sure? Maybe they can just catch us on a few dates then we announce our engagement." 

North quickly shook her head. "No, you have to work up to it. Small dates first, make the media think they are catching something secret. Then start getting bolder. If someone full-on interrupts you then you can try to play it off or convince them not to tell anyone." 

"When the media really starts pushing and asking we wait just a bit longer before you two do your little engagement. You don't have to actually purpose out in public, but I can get you into a talk show to do it if you want." Josh said. 

Once again Connor hated how much sense it made. "We'll have to come up with the backstory. The fewer lies involved the better for believability. We can discuss who will do what later. It would be better if all of you knew the backstory too as you probably would have been there for most of it."

He still had his job as a detective but he was often working as Markus's bodyguard (even though he didn't want one) when cases were slow and he wasn't fully needed. 

"Alright, so North and I broke up after the revolution. You and I slowly got closer and closer." Markus says, glancing at Connor. "Oh, maybe we got together after that one conference." 

That made sense. Connor had been working as the bodyguard but a man still managed to get a shot at Markus. He thankfully didn't hit anything important but Connor couldn't stop blaming himself for weeks. It was totally reasonable that that's when they would have gotten together.  

"Alright, sounds good to me. How about how we told the others and PDA in front of them?" Connor asked, making mental notes. He didn't want to screw this up, it was too important. 

Markus thought for a second, eyes glazing over just slightly. "North would have caught us kissing. I probably would have been worried about hurting her feelings, but-" he easily got cut off. 

"But I don't give a shit as long as you're happy. Of course, I wouldn't tell anyone without your permission but you'd probably tell Simon and Josh that day." North shrugged. 

Oh, he'd need to inform Hank on the situation. Hank would be the first person he'd tell, and probably the only one if they were keeping it secret. "I'll let the Lieutenant know." 

Josh nodded along before speaking. "We can feed the media anonymous tips saying something like Markus is on a date but we don't know with who. Just enough that it gets them out there and looking." 

Alright, he could do this. North wouldn't get in trouble and the public opinion would go back up. Who didn't love a good secret romance? Well, a fake secret romance but no one else had to know about that. 

"We should start tonight. I can get you guys a reservation at that new restaurant, apparently, it's great for androids." Simon said. 

Tonight?! He thought he'd have more time to prepare. It wasn't like he's dated anyone before so he wanted to do some research. He didn't care if it was completely fake, he still wanted Markus to have a good time and not feel too awkward. 

Now, he was being told he only had until dinner time and he was kind of freaking out. He'd have to pick out a good outfit and maybe change his hair. 

Ok, maybe he was taking this a bit too far, but he wanted to be a good fake boyfriend. Markus deserved someone sweet and kind who loved him. Fake it till you make it right?

No, no that's not right. He was not making it anywhere. This would all die down and everyone would forget about the whole thing. They'd have their little 'break-up' and then they'd go back to just being friends. 

"Alright, Connor do you want to get ready and meet me back here? We can talk over boundaries before our… date." Markus said, flushing a slight blue. Connor was instantly so glad androids could blush after deviation. 

Markus was too cute for his own good. It's no wonder they won the revolution peacefully with Markus's charisma. Not to say that was the only thing, but it definitely helped. 

Fuck, now he was just staring at Markus. In a purely platonic way, of course, Markus was attractive, anyone could see that. "Right, I'll see you soon then." 

Markus gave a slight nod and smile before Connor stood up. North gave him a thumbs-up, and Josh and Simon tried to give him encouraging smiles. 

The ride back to Hank's was incredibly slow but that did give him time to do some research. He looked up tips to be a good boyfriend, what type of clothes to wear on a date, and small talk ideas. It wasn't much, but it was definitely a start. 

He no longer felt the need to knock on the door, so he just walked right in. At least he wasn't going through windows anymore, which Hank loved to bring up every chance he got. 

Sumo slowly got up to greet him, and Connor took that chance to compose his thoughts. He had no doubt that Hank would go along with this, but that didn't mean he wouldn't tease him relentlessly. 

"Didn't think you'd be back till later," Hank said, sitting on the couch and reading a book. It was one of his older ones that Hank had suggested (well, more demanded) he read after the revolution. 

Right, he could do this. "I've got a date tonight." Fuck. 

Hank's head instantly whipped around and the book almost fell from his hands. Ok, that was a little bit of a dramatic reaction, it wasn't like he was undateable. 

He just never found anyone he really wanted to be with, and no one ever fully understood him, android or otherwise. 

A few androids feared him while others put him so high on a pedestal that it was odd to even talk to them. The only androids he felt truly comfortable around were the leaders of Jericho. Because of that and his part, most people thought of him as a leader as well. 

"Alright, come sit. I need to hear everything and need to know if I need to kill someone." Hank said, putting his book down. 

The image of Hank threatening Markus was amusing but he had no doubt that he wouldn't do it. 

He did as Hank said and slowly sat down next to him. "Ok, well it's not exactly a date, but it is." 

Hank stared at him for a few seconds before waving him on to continue. 

"So you remember North punched that guy?" He asked and Hank gave him the 'bitch please' look that made him snort. "Well, we decided that there needs to be a distraction and they decided Markus and I would 'date' and get 'engaged'."

Hank sat there for a few seconds before facepalming. "Of course. Fuck, that might actually work though. So you have a fake date with Markus tonight?" 

Connor nodded and fiddled with his coin. "I do. I'm to get ready and meet him back at New Jericho so we can talk about boundaries." 

"Well, at least that's good. Just don't go falling in love or anything," Hank said, patting his shoulder. 

Connor huffed and rolled his eyes. "I won't, don't worry. We're just doing this to help out North and then we can break up or just let it die out." 

Hank sighed and shook his head. "Sure you won't. Alright, you better go get ready then for your date." 

"It's not actually a date, but I do need to get ready. If anyone asks, Markus and I got together after the conference where Markus was shot," Connor said, standing up. 

Hank gave him a hum and waved him off. Connor grinned in return and went to his room, closing the door behind him. 

He went through his closet, pulling out outfits and trying them on before huffing and pulling it all off. Nothing felt right for this. Markus had seen him in almost every form of dressing, from his work clothes to his pajamas. How could he make a bold impression? 

Oh, this might do. He pulled out a pair of men's black skirt pants, black lita high heel, and a men's solid black lace cut out patchwork button-up shirt. 

He put it all on and stepped in front of the mirror. He had to admit, he looked good, but something was still missing. 

He grinned at himself before running over to his desk and pulling out the eyeliner Hank got him after he expressed interest in it. He hadn't worn it out before, but he very much enjoyed putting it on. 

Once he was done he ran a hand through his hair, making it go back to its natural curly state. 

There, now he was ready. If nothing else then he looked good and everyone would be shocked. He loved experimenting with clothing and found that he loved dressing in all ways. 

Sometimes he'd dress more feminine, while others he tried to be more androgynous or masculine. He normally didn't dress too femininely when leaving the house, so only Hank really got to see him wear a skirt. 

He thought this look was more androgynous and he really hoped Markus was ok with this. He honestly didn't know why he liked dressing in different ways, but part of him was scared Markus would find it odd. Though, Markus is one of the most open-minded men he knew. 

Alright, he could do this. Just a fun night out with Markus. Maybe a little hand-holding and possibly even a kiss on the cheek. He had nothing to be nervous about, it wasn’t like it was real. 

He looked in the mirror one more time before leaving the room. In all, getting ready had taken an hour, which wasn't too odd for him. He preferred looking well dressed no matter what he was doing. 

He walked over to Hank and did a small twirl, showing off his outfit. "What do you think? Is it too much?" 

Hank's eyes went wide and he gave him a slight nod. "Not bad son. The makeup was a good choice. Markus is not gonna know what to do with himself when he sees you." 

Connor flushed blue but didn't hold back the grin. Hank may tease him but he was also incredibly encouraging and supported almost everything he did. (He did not support Connor licking evidence but whatever)

"Thank you! Alright, I should probably get going. I'll be back tonight but don't feel the need to wait up for me." Connor said, giving a few scratches to Sumo before going to the door. 

"Yeah, yeah. Have fun on your fake date kid," Hank said, giving him a thumbs-up before going back to reading. 

He did a bit more research on his way back to New Jericho and now felt confident enough to actually go on this date. If it was actually real, that is. 

He got a few stares on his way to where Markus stayed at New Jericho, but he took it in stride. He knew he looked good, so it didn't matter if other people thought he was weird. 

Markus's door was already slightly open (he'd have to go over safety protocols again) so he gave a slight knock before walking in. 

Markus was sitting on his couch looking just as stunning as always. He had his long jacket on with the black suit underneath. 

When Connor walked in his head snapped up and his mouth hung open just slightly. "Connor! Oh, wow you look… you look really good. Are you wearing makeup?" 

Connor shifted from foot to foot, nodding. "I am. I can change if my outfit isn't appropriate." He really didn't want to, but he would if need be. 

Markus quickly stood, shaking his head. "No! No, you're fine. I was just surprised is all. You look stunning." 

Connor blushed and his eyes darted around the room, trying to find something other than Markus to stare at. "Thank you. You look good too." 

There was a long awkward silence before Markus cleared his throat. "Right, we should talk about boundaries. I know we are doing this for North, but I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with." 

Markus slowly sat back down and patted the cushion beside him. Connor gladly sat, turning to face Markus. "I'll let you know if I am, but that goes for you too."

Markus grinned at him before staring down at his lap. "So I guess we should get the big one out of the way. How do you feel about kissing?" 

Connor's heart skipped a beat and he wished he had pockets so he could have had his coin with him. "I've never actually been kissed before, but I'm a quick learner." He hated admitting it like that. 

Sure he was interested in kissing people but work and helping his people always came first. 

It seemed Markus was beyond shocked because he just sat that silently for what felt like hours. "We don't… your first should be with someone you care about. I don't want to take that away from you." 

Oh, so that's what he was worried about. Could this man get any more perfect? "I don't mind, but I just didn't want to kiss you and it be horrible. I've tried to look it up but most say that practice with an actual living being is the key to success."

Plus it wasn't like he had anyone to practice on beforehand. There was no way in hell he was kissing Hank and he didn't really care about it too much anyway. It was just lips touching, he didn't see the significance to it. 

"Oh, well… do you want to? Like, can I? I don't want your first to just be out in public, I think it would be better to do it here. Or I can get Simon, Josh, or North for your first. I'm sure they'd all be willing." Markus said, looking between Connor and the couch. 

Connor huffed and reached over, pulling Markus to him and softly pressing their lips together. 

Markus didn't instantly pull away, instead, he brought a hand up to cup Connor's cheek. 

But then Connor pulled back, his heart beating a bit too quickly for his liking. For a first kiss, it wasn't the worst, but it wasn't the best either. 

His lips tingled slightly and he couldn't help but lick them. Markus's lips were soft but that was to be expected, they were made to be so after all. There was still something so… shocking about it but he couldn't place why. 

"Connor," Markus sighed out, still gently holding his head. Connor leaned into it and stared at Markus. "I, um, wow. Hopefully, that was good?" 

He nodded and grinned. "It was. So, kissing is alright with me if you're fine with it too." It was a nice feeling, and he'd actually like to do it again, but there was no one around that they'd have to fool. So he pulled back completely and Markus brought his hand back to his lap. 

"It's definitely fine with me. How do you feel about PDA? We'll have to do some but I won't do it too much if it makes you uncomfortable," Markus said. Honestly, Markus would make an exceptional boyfriend if this was real. 

"I'm fine with it as far as I know. I'll let you know if it does make me uncomfortable or I don't like something." He's only ever had platonic PDA but even then it was incredibly limited. 

Markus made a small pained sound. "Once this is over, are you still ok with PDA? If you don't want to be touched normally I won't, but if you do then you don't have to ask. You can just hold my hand or anything you want." 

Oh, that was an incredible offer. He had had the want to hold hands or ask for a hug but he always pulled back. He didn't know what was appropriate or wanted. "Thank you… can I hold your hand right now?" 

He offered his hand and Markus instantly took it, giving it a slight squeeze. Markus's hands were warmer than Connor's and slightly bigger too. They were incredibly soft but he also had a few calluses from painting and playing the piano. 

Part of him wanted to deactivate his skin so he could feel even more, but he decided against it. Holding hands was one thing, possibly interfacing while doing so was another. It was a bit too intimate for his liking. 

"Is this ok?" Markus asked, lacing their fingers together. Connor quickly nodded and lets out a soft sigh. 

This was definitely ok. It felt more grounding then he expected it to. "Yeah, it is." 

They sat there for a bit, Connor looking between Markus's face and their hands. 

"Oh, I do think this is important to say," Markus broke the silence. "When we do get-have to make out, it's totally fine if your body reacts a certain way. It's not odd and I'll do my best not to make it awkward if it does happen." 

Oh. Huh, it's a good thing Markus thought of that. He'd probably react and then everything would be awkward. It's good he got this out of the way now. "The same goes for you too. You don't need to feel embarrassed if it happens." 

Markus gave a slight nod. "Thank you. I am serious when I say that if anything, anything makes you uncomfortable you let me know. I won't hold it against you and you won't upset me at all." 

"Again, the same goes for you too. I'm planning on being the best fake boyfriend you've ever had." He said this with a wink. 

It got Markus to snort and shake his head fondly. "I'm sure you'd make an amazing boyfriend, and you'll make a great fake one too." 

Connor grinned and gave his hand a slight squeeze. This was going to be his easiest mission ever by the looks of it. Plus he'd get practice in dating so when he actually dates someone he won't be completely new too. It's a win-win situation. 

"Alright, if there's nothing else then we should get going to the restaurant. Josh said he sent a message to a news station. We need to be somewhat subtle, but only enough that they don't outright approach us." Markus said, moving his fingers around, making Connor giggle slightly. 

He wondered what his hands felt like. He probably had a few calluses himself from holding a gun. Were his hands as soft as Markus's? Did he actually like holding his hand? Was he making this weird by staring at their hands? He hadn't held hands before so he didn't know what was normal for it or not. 

"Connor?" Oh, right, he still hadn't replied yet. He blinked rapidly then looked up at Markus. 

"Alright, sounds good to me. Do you want to get a cab? I doubt you wanna ride my motorcycle." Connor said, standing up and using their connected hands to pull Markus up with him. 

He'd only gotten the motorcycle recently, but he absolutely adored it. He loved the feeling of the air on his skin, and taking turns a bit too fast. It was beyond exhilarating. 

"Actually, I'd love to if you'd be willing. I haven't ridden on one and I've wanted to since you got one." Markus replied, pulling Connor out and to the elevator. 

Connor swung their arms just slightly, smiling as he did. "Yes! I'd let you drive but I think it's best if you don't have to worry about that for your first time." 

Markus gave a nod and when they got to the parking deck, put the offered helmet on. Connor may drive a bit roughly but he always made sure he was safe.

Connor climbed on first and made sure Markus was steady as he got on behind him. "Alright, you're going to want to hold onto me at first. Once you're used to it you can just hang on slightly, but for now, don't be afraid to squeeze me." 

Funny enough Gavin was the one that made him truly interested in getting a motorcycle. Plus when he got one Gavin actually offered to show him how to drive it. That seemed to be their bonding moment and now they actually got along somewhat. 

Markus leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Connor, but didn't squeeze too hard. At least not until Connor started the motorcycle and revved it. Ok, so he may be showing off, but he was just proud of his bike. 

Markus clung to him as he drove, but other than that he didn't seem scared at all. From his breathless laughter, he seemed to be enjoying it quite a lot. 

Connor took them the long way and down streets, he knew he could get away with going a bit over the speed limit. He didn't want to push it too far, but he couldn't help it, this was just too fun. 

He parked the bike and got off, offering his hand to Markus who gladly took it. He seemed a bit uneasy on his feet but otherwise fine. 

Connor pulled his helmet off, running a hand through his hair to try to tame it somewhat. Markus was lucky he didn't have enough hair for a helmet to mess up. 

Once the helmets were off, Markus offered his hand to Connor who gladly took it. Then they walked into the restaurant and up to the hostess. 

"Welcome to La Récolte, do you have a reservation?" She asked before looking up. Her eyes went wide at the sight of Markus but she soon looked over at Connor and her jaw dropped. Quickly, she pulled herself together. 

"Table for two, for Markus Manfred and Connor Anderson," Markus said, leaning closer to Connor. 

 She tapped a few things into the computer before nodding. "Of course, Mr. Manfred, please come with me." 

 The two followed after her, not letting go of the other's hand even when they had to walk single-file. 

They sat down near the back so they wouldn't draw too much attention, but they still had a good view from the windows. 

Markus pulled out his chair for him without hesitation before sitting down across from him. 

"Can I start you off with a bottle of wine? We currently have a Meiomi Pinot Noir from California that I would suggest," she said while placing a menu in front of each of them. 

Connor didn’t want to let Markus go, but he did to look at the menu. "If it's alright with Markus," he said, looking up and locking eyes. 

Markus kept his eyes on him while he nodded. "That sounds amazing, we'll take a bottle of that. Feel free to bring out whatever appetizers goes best with it." 

The woman nodded before leaving almost silently. The two stayed still before Connor broke it by looking back down at the menu. 

"So, um what’s the best thing that has happened to you this month?" He couldn't stop himself from cringing at his own words. 

Markus snorted and leaned forward, batting his eyes. "Oh, definitely this. I've been wanting to finally take you on a real date since we got together." 

Connor had to hold back his laughter as he leaned in too. "You're too sweet. I'm glad we waited though, I was a bit nervous about possibly having too much attention on us." 

Markus reached out and gently brushed a curl out of Connor's face. Connor went completely still and his eyes widened slightly. 

Markus was staring at him so intensely that it made him want to squirm in his seat, but he kept still. "You have beautiful eyes." 

Connor's breath caught and he had to break eye contact. He knew it was fake but he didn't get complimented all that much. He'd get told he did a good job or that he was one of the best detectives, but this was different. It made his whole face flush and he bit his lip. "Thank you." 

Markus slowly pulled his hand back, but Connor missed the flashes of emotion that went across Markus's face. "Of course." 

He always thought Markus's eyes were beautiful but he never brought it up. He knew some of Markus's story and he knew he had to replace a few biocompents. It was probably traumatic so he avoided it altogether. 

"What do you like to do in your free time?" Connor blurted out when the silence got to be too much. 

Markus leaned back in his chair with a small grin. "You looked up conversation starters too, didn't you?"

Connor sighed out and nodded. "I did. I didn't want this to be awkward since this isn't re-uh since it's our first date out in public." He's glad he caught himself, but that was a little too close for his liking. 

"Don't worry, I did the same. As for your questions, you already know baby. If you aren't at work then you're with me." Markus said with a small shrug. 

Connor made a small sound before he could stop himself. But it seemed Markus took that the wrong way as he instantly lowered his voice so only Connor could hear. "I'm sorry, is that too far?"

Connor quickly shook his head. "No, no it's fine. I just wasn't expecting it. As I said, I've never actually done this before."

 Markus sighed in relief and reached out to hold Connor's hand again. Just then a waitress comes over with the wine and appetizers which was a shrimp cocktail. 

The waitress poured their wine out before smiling at them slightly. "Do you know what you would like for the entree?"

Oh, he hadn't actually been reading the menu when he was looking at it. 

"We'll both have the Filet De Boeuf with Potatoes Au Gratin," Markus said, easily pronouncing each word perfectly. The waitress nodded, and when Markus didn’t add on, silently left. 

The two kept their hands intertwined on the table while using the other hand to sip at the wine and eat. It's definitely some of the best food he'd ever had. 

He moaned softly before slapping his hand over his mouth. "I'm so sorry. My processors are much more sensitive on my tongue and it just tastes really good." Wow, he was fucking up a date that wasn't even real! 

"It's fine! I'm glad you're enjoying the meal. I wouldn't be a good boyfriend if I let you eat something disgusting." Markus said, taking a slow sip of his wine. 

Connor couldn't help but notice a few people glancing their way. It was almost definitely Markus. It would be like the Queen of Britain going into a restaurant, everyone would notice at some point. He was just too recognizable. 

Connor did notice someone bringing out their phone and he quickly snatched his hand back and put it under the table. They were being a bit too obvious with the hand holding. 

Markus frowned but quickly looked around and saw what Connor did. Right, they weren't here just to have fun. They both had a mission to accomplish. 

The two went about their dinner and thankfully avoided any more awkward silences and bad conversation starters. 

They already had so much to talk about and even if there was a lull in the conversation it never put Connor on edge. 

It was also quite fun to fake flirt with Markus in the silliest ways. They'd make jokes that others wouldn't understand and then use those to throw in some flirting. 

The entrees were just as good as the appetizers and before they knew it they had finished their meal. They both decided to skip dessert and Markus paid for the meal. Connor had tried. but Markus had reached out first when it was offered. 

The two left the restaurant full and happy, smiling wider than they had in awhile. 

Connor felt something odd and discreetly looked around before finding what made his skin itch. They were being followed. Probably by a journalist, so that was good. This is what they wanted. 

Connor laced his fingers through Markus's and walked closer to him to whisper in his ear. "We're being followed. Don't do anything too dramatic." 

Markus gave a slight nod and turned his head to grin at Connor but also to look to where someone was indeed following them. 

The two kept walking to Connor's bike and Connor offered the helmet again. "I'll drop you back off at New Jericho?" 

Markus nodded and easily slid into the bike behind Connor, wrapping his arms around him again. This time one held him by his lower stomach and the other crept up to his chest. Markus rested his head on Connor's shoulder and gave him a slight squeeze. "It's too bad you can't stay the night. I was hoping to spend more time with you." 

Connor shivered slightly and subconsciously leaned back into Markus's warm embrace. He didn't know if the reporter could hear them, but even if he couldn't, whoever it was would probably be able to guess what was said. "I've got work tomorrow, you know that. I'll make sure to get some more free time soon." 

Markus sighed and Connor arched his back just slightly. Probably not enough to be noticeable by Markus, but that didn't mean it wasn't slightly embarrassing. He knew Markus said he shouldn't be embarrassed but it was hard not to be. 

He probably just reacted so easily because this was all new. If this wasn't then he'd probably be more cool and collected. 

"That's alright, as long as you give me a goodnight kiss." Markus chuckled and Connor started the engine. 

"I make no promises," Connor said before pulling out and getting into the street. There was plenty there to work with and he had no doubts that it would be all over the place by the morning. 

As promised he did drop Markus off at New Jericho but both seemed to be stalling a bit. Connor stayed on the bike, but Markus had gotten off and handed his helmet to Connor. 

"I really had a fun time tonight. We should spend more time together, just me and you." Markus says, rocking back and forth on his heels. 

Connor runs a hand through his fluffy hair with a chuckle. "Well, we're definitely going to be doing that more often now." 

 "Yeah, but real. As friends, you know? You're one of my closest friends but I sometimes feel like you keep part of yourself hidden around us, and me." Markus says, looking between Connor and the ground. 

Connor couldn't help but pause. "I… I sometimes feel like I don't know who I really am. I know what I was meant to be, but I'm not sure what that makes me now."

It was hard to get that out but when he did it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He didn't know who he really was, but maybe that was normal. 

"You can be anything and anyone you want to be. The only requirement is that it makes you happy. If being a detective makes you happy, then do it. If not? Well, maybe you should find something that does?" Markus suggested, reaching out to take his hand again. 

"How do I know when I'm happy? There's just so many emotions and I can't always tell the difference. I know I feel something when I complete a case but what if that's just my programming? What if I'm more machine than alive?" He said, breath coming out in short puffs.

Then Markus pulled him into a hug, and, honestly, it was a bit awkward because of the bike. That didn't stop it from being one of the best hugs he's ever received. 

Markus hugged him like his life depended on it. It was like if he let go then they'd both drown, and Markus would never let that happen. He'd stay here forever if that's what Connor needed. 

"Connor, you can't get rid of your programming. It is part of you and that's ok. You don't have to embrace every part of it, but maybe there are small pieces you still like. Just because we are machines doesn't mean we can't also be alive." Markus said, slowly rubbing his back. 

Connor shook slightly in his hold. Markus was amazing and literally led a revolution, but that didn't make what he said exceptional. What got to him was that he knew Markus cared about him as a friend and he really meant it. He wasn't just saying it to make him happy, he was saying it because it was true. 

After a few minutes, Connor slowly pulled back slightly, no longer shaking. "Thank you, and I'm sorry I ruined our fake date with this." He said, trying to laugh it off. 

Markus took his face in his hands and looked at him dead on. "You didn't ruin anything, Connor. I'm so glad you opened up, and I'm always here for you. If anything you made the night even better." 

It was hard to argue with that when Markus was staring him down like he did while leading the revolution. It was so intense that it sent a small shock down his spine. "I… thank you." 

Markus smiled and gently brushed his thumb against Connor's cheekbones. It was so tender that it almost hurt and Connor didn't know why. 

Why it hurt and why Markus was holding him like he was the most precious thing on Earth. 

Why did this make his heart flutter and his stomach twist? He didn't even have a stomach! It frustrated him because he didn't know the cause. He didn't know why he wanted to run away but also get closer at the same time. 

Then Markus brushed his thumb against Connor's lip and he jumped slightly. "Sorry, you still owe me a goodnight kiss." 

"Markus!" Connor laughed, gently pushing at the other's chest. 

Markus grinned back and moved his hands down to rest on Connor's shoulders. "Alright, how about on the cheek then? Come on, you know you want to." Markus said, turning his head. 

Connor rolled his eyes but leaned in. Before his lips could touch Markus's cheek he had turned his head so his lips landed partly on his lips. 

"Markus!" Connor shouted again, not holding back his laugh. If anyone was looking out then they'd probably think this was real. Not that it wasn't, but it wasn't the way they'd think it was. 

"Sorry, it was just too easy. Everyone needs a little bit of Connor every now and then. I'm just lucky that you're comfortable enough to," Markus said, smirking at him. 

Connor flushed and broke eye contact, accidentally looking down to Markus's lips before snapping back up. "Yeah, yeah. I really should be getting home though. Hank won't go to sleep until I'm home safe no matter how much I try to tell him I'll be fine." 

He adored Hank but the man could be a little overprotective. He knew why and it was heartwarming but also sad. He really wished he'd gotten to meet Cole. 

Markus sighed and stepped back, arms falling to his sides. "Alright. I'll let you know when the next date is, alright? Please drive safe."

"You know I always do," he said with a wink before pulling his helmet on. 

Markus steps back and Connor revves the engine before glancing at Markus. 

"Goodnight babe," Markus called out with a wide grin. Connor snorts but he can't stop thinking about that grin for the rest of the night. 

[thunder-the-ranger-wolf]

On (Not) Wooing Steve Rogers

@aurumacadicus

Happy birthday, Owl! Hope you like the fic!

Summary: Stony No Powers College AU where Steve is definitely pining over his best friend who is a genius. They go to MIT for different reasons and Rhodey is sick of their shenanigans so he sets them up on a dinner date and he and Carol laugh from across the restaurant as they watch the boys stutter their way through a good time. Turns out, Tony thinks he's hot as hell and "was going to ask him out anyway, thanks, Rhodey! I guess."

Steve

Steve couldn’t stop looking at him. He moved fast and he talked faster. Every other word out of his mouth sounded like a foreign language that everyone in this class could understand except for Steve. He belonged on this track. He deserved to be in this class. But… maybe he’d bit off more than he could chew, coming into a two-hundred-level class and expecting it to make sense. It was on his track sheet, and no one said anything about prerequisites. In fact, when he’d talked to his advisor the older man had waved him off and allowed him into the class. On the request that they meet twice a week to make sure Steve was keeping up with the class. He was lucky that Erskine was so hands-on, but that probably had something to do with the program he was in. An Architecture student who put the art in the architecture, this stuff was going right over his head.

But his classmates were just fine with it, apparently. And so was the boy a few seats in front of him who broke into the teacher’s lecture every five minutes to correct him. Some people were a bit annoyed with the guy, who looked to be around Steve’s age, but he definitely knew what he was doing. He managed to shut them up with each question they asked until they could no longer catch him off-guard and stopped trying after a bit.

Steve was lost by his conversation with the professor and just as lost in the boy’s eyes, one chocolate brown and the other crystal blue. He didn’t even know that type of heterochromia was possible in nature, but it looked right at home on this boy. Steve spent the rest of the lecture sketching the boy’s face and writing down every other word he said. He’d look some of it up later. He needed something to bring to Erskine.

Rhodey

Four classes.

The poor kid beside him was in over his head, a freshman to his junior and Tony’s sophomore. Granted, the only reason Tony was allowed to be a sophomore is that he was a bonafide genius. Well, enough of one to skip most of the early-level classwork required of his degree track.

This kid, on the other hand, needed every single one of them.

And maybe a few others, like how to stop staring hopelessly at the genius boy who is so hopelessly out of your league.

At least this one was Tony’s age. Fucking leeches tried to get the boy for all he had, but this kid was one of the art-types that were attracted to the prestige of the school without really knowing what went into it.

Poor kid.

But four classes of this kid practically drooling over his little shit of a brother would not stand. The kid should ship up and ask a question or just plain ship out because he wouldn’t get anywhere doing this.

Eight classes and the kid… wasn’t hopeless, at least.

“You’ve actually managed to learn something.” Rhodes snorted when the teacher called for a twenty-minute break. This thing was three hours long, as a once-a-week class, but damn if they didn’t deserve every second of that break.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not.” Rhodey snorted, amused. “But at least you’re getting something out of this class, even if it is a little eye-candy.”

“Eye-can-? No!” The boy yelped. “No, it’s not like that at all.”

“So the notebook full of sketches surrounded by random words are supposed to be invisible, got it.”

“Well it’s my stuff, so yeah!” The guy snapped defensively.

“Fair point. What’s your name, kid?”

“We’re all adults here, aren’t we?” The kid asked coldly.

Fair enough.

“Barely.” Rhodey snorts. “Seriously though, you’re what, nineteen?”

The stunned look on the boy’s face told him he was right.

“So’s Tony.” Rhodes offered.

Another look, confused this time.

“Tony Stark is the kid who keeps interrupting the professor to half-way teach the class. The one whose likeness is plastered all over your notebook. You’re in luck, kid.”

“What?”

“He’d probably be willing to tutor you on this stuff. Hell, he’s tutor half the class, if they let him. He’s a total pushover if you know how to ask.”

“How do you ask?”

“Ah, for you… just sit there and look stunned like you usually do, only make sure he can see it. And maybe show him that notebook. He’d stick around for the whole year if you did that.” Rhodes snickered.

The kid shot him a look that, if he was reading this right, bordered on protective.

Oh, this would be way too easy.

“Just because he’s a good person-.”

“Doesn’t mean he’ll help you? Sure it does, he’s a sucker for lost causes. He keeps making them every other day.”

“What?”

“Ah, I guess you’d have to see it to know what I’m talking about. Not that you’ll be getting that far. He builds robots with newborn AIs that he keeps trying to teach. It’s the funniest thing in the world because they’re so cute but so helpless at the same time.”

The kid was interested now, but the break was over.

“Ask him a question or two about the homework late on. If you can understand any of the words on the page, Tony’s got you the rest of the way. Just prove that you’re not a lost cause.”

“I’m not a lost cause.” The kid muttered. “I’m not.”

“Good luck, painter-boy. These engineers will eat you alive.”

Later on

“Don’t you think that show of yours was a little much?” Carol asked as they walked to Boca Grande. Rhodey wasn’t really in the mood for Mexican but he wasn’t sure he was in the mood for much of anything. Art Kid’s dilemma was weighing on him now.

“Well, if I want anything to get through that thick head of his-.”

“Okay, now you’re projecting. James, look at me.” Carol stopped him and Rhodes turned to face the girlfriend he’d pined so hard for just for her to turn around and act like they’d been going out the entire time. “They will be fine. People can get their own dates without their annoying older brothers interfering. You’ve known that kid since he was, like, ten, so I’ll let you off easy here, but he’s finally got someone his age interested in him. Why not let him have a little fun?”

“Because he’s completely oblivious to genuine affection,” Rhodey informed her as if it was something he’d practiced every day in front of the mirror. “Just trust me on this one, if Art Kid doesn’t make the first move then nothing will ever come of this.”

“Fifty bucks says you’re wrong.” Carol insisted. “Give it a month. Don’t interfere. If Art Kid doesn’t make a move then Tony will.”

“God, not another four classes.” Rhodes groaned. “Fine. Whatever. I guess I can stand to lose fifty bucks if the kid shapes up.”

 Steve

Steve did not shape up. He couldn’t help himself. There was no way in hell that guy was talking sense, especially since the guy was right and he didn’t really belong here. What was he doing, anyway? There’s still three-fourths of the semester left, he should go to Erskine and quit while he’s ahead.

The genius boy, Tony, has a mole under his left eye, the blue one. Not the only blemish on his tanned skin, but the most prominent. This guy’s acne stage really did nothing to him, if he even had one.

“Hey, do you know the answer to number three from the homework?” A blonde girl with mischievous green eyes leaned across the aisle and whispered to him. Steve shook his head. It was a multiple-choice question and he’d likely gotten it wrong. God forbid they write a paper anytime soon. He really is in over his head.

“C’mon, we’re almost halfway through the semester, you had to have gotten something right.”

“Fat chance.” Steve groaned.

Besides, even if he did know the answer, he didn’t like where this talk was heading. She might have taken a few tips from the guy next to him on how to look down on helpless fuckers like Steve.

The blond artist shook his head.

“I know it’s at least supposed to resemble an arch, but not how wide, so there’s that.” He groused.

“See? You’re not totally hopeless. You should see what Tony has to say about your homework.”

Steve groaned and buried his head in his arms. So she was in league with the guy who sat next to him.

“I’d rather not.” He informed her acidly.

“What? He’s a good tutor. You see how he gets up there and basically hogs the conversation, the kid knows what he’s talking about.”

“If he’s my age then he’s not a kid!” Steve snapped.

“Sure, sure.” The green-eyed blonde snorted, amused. “My name’s Carol, in case you’re trying to figure out what the hell is going on here. I had money on your actually doing something about your crush over these past eight weeks, but Rhodey was right. Ah, well, goodbye fifty bucks.” She sighed. Her friend, Rhodey, he guessed, snorted.

“Told you the kid wouldn’t know a crush if it hit him in the face.” Rhodey yawned. “Look, kid, Steve. Look, Steve, just ask him a question about the homework, talk a bit about it, play it off like you don’t understand, and slide into ‘talk about it over dinner?’”

“I really don’t understand, though.”

“All’s the better for it, Tony hates posers. Which you’re not. You’re an architecture student, and that takes a lot of engineering, but it also takes a lot of art and angles and knowing what looks good where. There’s a reason you’re here, after all.”

Right.

Steve didn’t know what to do with this, but the least he could do was try.

 “So, the word around class is you’re hopeless.”

He knew that voice. It was the same one he heard every day trying to figure out what the hell the teacher thought he was doing, teaching like this?!

And it shouldn’t be walking him to one of his art classes.

“What’s it to you?” Steve grumbled. Apparently, Rhodey spread tales of his imminent demise at the hands of failure.

“I just so happen to be a tutor, and your grades are projected to be atrocious. Lucky you, everything is technically due at the end of the year, so if you want, I could help you get up to snuff.”

“Uh, sure?” Steve choked out. “Yes, absolutely! I need to pass this class.”

You’re damn right, you do.” Tony chirped. “Which is why I’ve humbly offered my services. See you, next class, we’ll work out a schedule after that.”

The shorter boy breezed off and Steve found himself doing a very good job of watching him go.

“You gonna get to class anytime soon?” Another familiar voice snarked.

“Hello, Carol. What’re you doing in the art building?”

“I have a few classes here, Stevie-boy. And man, am I glass I do. Looks like Tony decided to take things into his own hands.”

“Looks like he did.” Steve snorted. “He called me hopeless.”

“Oh, that’s a great sign! He loves hopeless. Means he can impress you with bullshit. He’s not going to, of course.” She snorted when she noticed to look on his face. “He needs you to pass that class. This is good! You might get a date out of him yet.”

Steve scoffed at that one. Now she was just yanking his chain.

“Yeah, I just might.”

Rhodes

“We’re going on a date.” Carol announced.

“I thought I was choosing the next three dates.” Rhodes objected. “That was the deal we made for the bet.”

“You are, which will work out in everyone’s favor because you know Tony best. Where does he like to eat?”

“Oh, this. You’re lucky I’ve already thought this out because Steve is-.”

“Not as hopeless as we thought. And neither is Tony. We just have to drop hints that their first study session should be somewhere with food, somewhere Tony likes and will want to keep going because your boy rocked up to his crush in the hallway and offered to be his tutor.”

“Yes!” Rhodey threw his hands in the air. “Thank God, we are one step closer. They might get together before the end of the year!”

“So, Tony, what’d you have in mind for tutoring Steve?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, flyboy.”

“Yeah yeah, I don’t know why you think that’s still funny. Anyway, I’m asking because he likes your rambling but he hasn’t gotten anything done since the start of class so you might have to take it slow, y’know, ease him into all this, maybe get some food every few sessions, the usual.”

“I know how to handle dummies, Rhodey, and contrary to popular belief, Steve Rogers is no dummy.”

“Really?” Rhodes crowed, interested. “And just how do you know that, Shrimp?”

“Fuck off, Rhodey, have you seen the curves that boy draws? No way he’s as hopeless as you and Carol think, he’s got to have something between the ears.”

“An artists’ mind, sure.”

“Well, artists have to use the same tools we do, for some projects, just on a smaller scale. If anyone can get Steve Rogers to pass this mind-numbing class, it’s me.”

“Atta boy, Tony. Go get your guy. He looks like he’s lost on campus as well.”

Tony coughed a laugh at that and stuck his tongue out at his friend.

“Next time I see that tongue, it better be down Rogers’ throat!”

“It will be, fuck you very much!”

Steve

Steve had no idea where he was going to find Tony, but at least this looked like a place he would want to be.

“You made it!” Tony crowed. “This is my favorite spot, y’know. They have the best burritos. Chipotle-sized but a million times better. You want to order something and then we can get started?”

“Sure, yeah.”

Steve stuttered through his order, a chicken-pineapple enchilada with green chile sauce and a Sprite. Tony made him look smooth by comparison because he couldn’t decide if he wanted an enchilada, a tamale, or a burrito. The waitress grinned and said, “I’ll put you down for your usual.” before going back to the kitchen.

“Yeah, that was probably a good idea,” Tony grumbled. “Now, show me some vocab skills, what’s up with your notebook?”

 Tony kept taking him to random places to eat every Thursday. This time, he asked if they could go to a bar. Irish pub, technically. He knew it wouldn’t be anything like the stuff his mother called dinner but it’d be close enough. Indeed, the Black Rose did not disappoint. Or at least it was about what he expected. They got carded but as long as they stayed away from the bar, the bouncer wouldn’t say anything. Steve wasn’t in the mood for alcohol anyway. Steve got bangers and mash and Tony asked for a chicken pot pie. Steve wondered if they were made fresh. His mother loved chicken pot pie but he couldn’t get past the slimy feeling.

The fast-paced atmosphere fir the mood for the night because Tony was quizzing Steve for the upcoming test. Some of it would be multiple choice but this time there would be diagrams, so Steve would actually have to know what he’s doing. He does, surprisingly enough. Tony’s study sessions have really helped, and Steve’s even been able to get through the lectures with more coherent notes.

This was proved when he saw his grades online.

“I got a C on the test!” He exclaimed.

“That’s great, Steve, it’s two in the morning. Go the fuck to sleep.”

“Sam, Sam, you don’t get it, this one engineering class has been driving me batshit and I finally proved I belong in the class!”

“I’ll probably freak out tomorrow but I just came back from a long shift so if you could-.”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely. Gnight, Sam.”

His roommate yawned and nodded off pretty quickly.

Six hours later, he heard “wait a minute, that one class with the boy you’ve been drooling over who tutored you? That class?!”

“Yep.” Steve yawned. He never understood how Sam Wilson could be such a morning person on maybe six hours of sleep.

“Hey, that’s amazing! Everyone says that class is stupid hard to follow if you don’t already know what the kid up front is talking about and half the time people have to stay behind and ask him to break stuff down.”

“Wait, what?”

“Well yeah, it’s a junior-level class, Steve, what were you expecting?”

“I… not that. I thought it was just me.”

“Aw, Steve… look, find the guy who was tutoring you. He’ll know what I’m talking about. You should be extra proud of that C, too. Means you can get all your homework done before the year is out.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Steve muttered. He should probably have asked Erskine more questions before he went along with this class.

 “You got a C? On that last test? Steve, that’s brilliant!”

Even Rhodes was congratulating him. This felt… strange.

“No, seriously, that last test was not easy. And you actually got some of the questions that everyone missed, even Carol and I. Those study dates are paying off.”

“Yeah, I guess they are.” Steve mumbled.

If this was how Rhodes was reacting, he wondered how hyper Tony would be.

 “I have succeeded!” Tony crowed for damn near the entire building to hear. “And clearly so have you. Lemme at that test of yours, I need to see every-. Fuck yeah, it’s a High C, too! You passed, Steve! This is the second major test of the class and you passed enough to make up for the first one! That, plus all the homework you turned in. You should come out relatively unscathed. And if you play your cards right, with a B.”

“That might be pushing it.”

“Oh no, trust me on this one. You’ve been trusting me on everything else. So, where do you want to go?”

“Go? What for?”

“To celebrate! This is an accomplishment, Steve, this class is hard enough for the best Architecture students. They just dumped you in here, no prerequisites or anything, and expect you to pass with flying colors? But you have, and that’s great!”

“You seem to have no trouble with any of the coursework.”

“Well, that’s because I’m a literal genius, Stevie. Joined Mensa and everything.”

“Huh.” Several things clicked into place and he nodded. “Okay. Well, we keep going out for study sessions so why not stay in this time? Watch a movie or something? We could order pizza or something.”

“You mean you’re not sick of pizza?” Tony cackled. “But yeah, let’s do that. Want anyone else to be there?”

“I mean, we both have roommates, so whoever’s place we go back to, someone’ll be there. Did you not want them to be?”

“Wow, you’re dense. I thought Rhodey was joking, but nope, you’re dense.”

“Hey, you can’t take back your-!”

Tony rolled his eyes and yanked Steve down to his eye-level. Before Steve could say anything else, their lips met.

The kiss was brief and Steve had to lick his lips twice after that.

“You need chapstick.” He blurted out.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony grumbled. “Totally not the point, but whatever. We’ve been going out for literal weeks, Steve.”

“Oh. Shit.”

“Yep.”

“Cool.”

“So we’re good?”

“We’re great!”

“Do you still want our roommates to be there for movie night?”

“Nah, Sam’ll be annoying if I get you to kiss me again. But we’re still ordering pizza.”

“All the cheese your heart desires.” Tony drawled. “And I still wanna see what’s in that notebook of yours.”

[not-the-cleavers]

Target II - Chapter 4

Hey guys real quick - I’m posting this now because I live in Australia and there’s a fire less than 20km away from my house so we’re on alert for evacuation. Basically I’m not sure when I’ll be able to post if we end up getting evacuated - I’m not looking for sympathy, it is what it is, I just want you beautiful people to know what’s going on.

Anyway.....

Tags; @adrenaline-roulette​ and @amy-brooklyn99​ - if you would like to be tagged just let me know

Pairing; Four x Eight (female reader) Fandom; 6 Underground Warnings; Swearing, angst, mention of human/sex trafficking, drinking and smoking Word count; 1.7k (total so far 6.3k)

Summary; The team has moved onto their next target after dealing with Rovach Alimov, a war criminal named John Dough. Eight has just joined the team and is dying to show how much she deserves to be there

Catch up; Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Entering the hanger I noticed that someone had kindly placed a stool where I would normally stand during our briefs, these things tend to run long and I don’t think I’d be able to stand for the entire thing. Four helped me slide onto the stool and instead of scurrying off to the opposite side of the table; where he normally stands, he stayed put, leaning onto the cold metal table. I pulled my laptop closer to me to start to pull useful information from that key logging software I installed before we left. Much to my surprise John Dough uploaded his entire hard drive, virus and all, to his personal version of the cloud, where he uploads and downloads to all his personal devices, spreading my virus everywhere. The idiot just made my job so much easier! “You look like you’ve got good news, care to share with the rest of class?” One said in his usual sarcastic tone. Clearly my poker face needs work. “You two aren’t fucking are you?” he said in a dead serious tone, flicking a finger between Four and myself. “What? No!” Hopefully I was able to hide my disappointment with shock, “it’s about John Dough. The idiot just uploaded my virus to every single one of his devices. I can see everything he does” I said with a smirk. A deep belly laugh erupted from One. “Eight if I wasn’t kinda terrified of you, I would kiss you right now!” he almost yelled, causing Two to crack a smile. “What does this mean for the mission?” Three asked, not entirely sure what I was talking about but willing to play along. “It means I have complete access to his whole system. I can upload a new virus that will duplicate everything onto my servers here without him ever knowing. If he hires more guards, I’ll know. If he books a flight anywhere in the world, I’ll know. If he sends a dick pic, I’ll know. If he does anything on any single one of his devices, I’ll know. This means this mission got a whole hell of a lot easier my friend, we are no longer flying blind” I explained. This caused a huge smile to explode onto Threes face, after getting pinned by those two guards I’m sure this was welcomed news.

“So what’s on the hard drive?” One asked, breaking the joyful feeling in the air. “I haven’t had a chance to look at it yet, I only woke up like an hour ago, and someone grabbed it from my vest in the van yesterday and put it here” I bit back. Did he seriously think I had the chance to look at the hard drive yet? “Eight that was 3 days ago! Are you seriously trying to tell me you’ve been unconscious this whole time?” What? It can’t have been days, how had I been out for days? And did he seriously not check in on me at all during that time? “I’ll take your silence as a yes” he huffed, anger evident in his voice, though I wasn’t sure why. “C’mon man, give her a break…” Seven came to my rescue while everyone else remained silent “Don’t you ‘c’mon man’ me, this isn’t good enough. We needed intel three fucking days ago! And while princess over here was sleeping, this fucker helped destroy another small community in Syria!” One was getting extremely irate, and your hand instinctively went to where your holster normally sat on your hip, but instead of your hand wrapping around your trusty sidearm, it was grabbed by Four. What was he doing? “And you would have been able to stop that, in three days, with one of us out with a gunshot wound?” Seven sneered “Face it man, we wouldn’t have been able to save those people. I know it sucks but this is what we have been dealt” he placed his hand on Ones shoulder, which was quickly shaken off. “Right well this has been a waste of time, does anyone have anything to add to this?” We all looked around the room at one another not daring to say a damn word. “Right, well that’s that” One said walking past us all to leave, stopping to put a his hand on my shoulder, lean down really close to my ear and say “I’m starting to wonder if I made a mistake bringing you into this. Prove to me I didn’t” loud enough for everyone to hear before walking away. I didn’t dare move my eyes to look at anyone, instead choosing to stare dead ahead or else the tears would come, and I wasn’t about to fucking cry in front of everyone.

I slowly pulled myself off the stool, slammed my laptop lid closed, picked up the hard drive and made my way out of the hanger. “Fucking prick” I muttered to myself, how dare he say that shit to me! I was fucking shot getting that fucking hard drive while he sat in the getaway car. If he wants me to prove I deserve to be here, that’s just what I’ll do, and then he can explain why he’s the only one here who never seems to do anything. The walk back to my trailer was long and slow and I was starting to understand Five’s advice to take it easy. I gingerly made it up the two steps of my trailer and slammed the door behind me, I was going to get to work and make One fucking eat his words. I walked past my living quarters and into my makeshift office. This trailer used to have a drivers seat and dashboard that was ripped out, so when I got here I got to work making a desk, knowing I would need it for my role in the team. I sat myself down at my desk and started clicking my way through every single file I had transferred over, easily getting into any password protected folders. Everything about this John Dough made me sick to my stomach, but when I came across a folder named ‘Girls’ I knew it was about to get worse. I forced myself to open the folder and what greeted my eyes was foul. Hundreds of videos and photos of women and teenage girls in varying stages of undress and beaten into such a state I feared they were dead flooded my screen. These were most likely women and girls forced into sex slavery, trafficked away from their families and treated like this. I slammed the screen down again, I needed a fucking drink. I walked back out of my office and poured myself a healthy of whiskey into a not very clean glass and just as I was about to take a sip there was a knock at my door. I hobbled my way over to the door and pushed it open, not looking to see who it was, before turning around and walking right back in. “Drink?” I asked the visitor, holding up my glass so they could see, “Uh sure, got any beer?” the deep accented voice of Four came from behind me. “Feel free to check but I don’t think so” I told him, motioning towards the small fridge with my hand that held my whiskey. I slowly lowered myself onto my bed again and watched Four squat down to check my drink options. When his search came up empty, he muttered that he would be right back, and walked right back out the door. A chuckle escaped my lips as I leant back and took a sip, making a slight face as the liquor burned its way down my throat.

My door opened one last time as four re-entered with two six packs of some kind of beer, unloading one into my fridge and bringing the other one, and my bottle of whiskey, over to my bed, where he sat down next to me. “What’s going on? I know One was being an arsehole back there, but I can tell something else has happened” Four said knowingly, watching me take another slip. “This whole week can fuck itself. First I get shot – and that’s still not on you so don’t try it, then I get ridiculed in front of everyone because I was apparently unconscious for three days, then going through that hard drive I’ve come across some of the worst things I’ve seen and I’ve only scratched the surface.” I replied, cutting myself off before mentioning anything about how I felt about Four and how he would never feel the same way. “What are you talking about?” he asked hesitantly after a long drink from his bottle. My only response was to point him in the direction of my office. While he was gone I leant over to a set of drawers at the end of my bed and grabbed a pack of Marlboros and an ashtray, quickly lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. I tended to only smoke when stressed and man oh man, today was one of those days.

I soon realised that Four had been gone a while, so I thought I better check on him, all this movement probably wasn’t ideal for my side but honestly, fuck it. I found him, standing in shock at what he discovered on my laptop screen, his hands shaking. Afraid he was going to drop his half-drunk beer on the ground, I grabbed it from his hand after closing the laptop one final time. I walked him back to my bed and sat him back down; in hindsight I probably should have warned him. “Sorry, I should have given you a heads up, I forgot that you don’t normally see that kind of thing.” Normally it was myself or One who did the background on the targets and the team only were given the necessary information. Four raked his hands through his hair before asking “you normally see shit like that?” he sounded shocked, I nodded before replying “I’ve never seen anything exactly like that before, but yeah it is common” the words muffled slightly by my cigarette. Without warning Four grabbed it from between my lips and took a drag before placing it back. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea” he mumbled. “S’alright, I’m glad it still gets to me, means I’m still human” he chuckled weakly at my response. We were clearly feeling the heaviness in the air surrounding that last subject. “Hey lets play twenty questions” I piped up, hoping for a change of pace, and by the way his expression changed I could tell he was okay with that. “You first, your number is lower than mine” I laughed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah that’s the most recent chapter, again I really don’t know when the next chapter will be up. I hope you enjoy!

[a-and-mtrashpile]

I Promise: A Nikki Sixx Imagine

*Not my gif*

Anon requested: If you're taking requests for the Netflix movie The Dirt, can I get a Nikki Sixx one-shot where the reader's a singer but a solo artist instead of in a band and she's been Nikki's girlfriend since he was in his band London and he forms Mötley Crüe and the band becomes famous and the reader becomes famous too and she drinks but doesn't do drugs and then Nikki overdoses on heroin like in the movie and it's a mix of angst and fluff?

A/N: I’m so heckin sorry this took so long to do, I’ve just been super busy and stressed~ Doing schoolwork from the time you get up to the time you go to bed gets to be a little much on someone, but enough about my problems, I hope you enjoy the story!

*I'm gonna use Joan Jett's music cause I love her more than I should and she's a pretty safe bet so just pretend that she doesn't exist and you wrote the songs ok did that even make sense*

Once you took out one of your ear pieces, your smile grew. The crowd was screaming back every word that you sang and it was one of the best feelings ever. "How are you guys doing tonight?" You asked into the mic when the song was over.

A small chuckle escaped your mouth when they screamed back, the majority of it being an incoherent mess. "Well, that sounds good. This one is called Bad Reputation." The crowd's loud scream almost took over the room as you started the song, making you almost lose your place in the song.

When the song ended, you quickly grabbed the nearest water bottle and downed half of it, your guitarist chuckling as he entertained the crowd. You looked over to the side of the stage, waving to Nikki as he laughed at you running around the stage.

"Alright guys, thank you so much for coming out and seeing us! I love you all so much, goodnight!" You bowed before running off stage, instantly pulling Nikki into a sweaty hug. "Oh, please don't. Please stop touching me," he mumbled, trying to get away from you. "Don't pull that shit with me, you give me nasty sweaty hugs all the time," you sassed, holding him even tighter.

He laughed before hugging you back and giving you a quick kiss, leading you to the green room to get your stuff. "How's tour so far?" You asked, grabbing the bag you brought into the venue. "Fucking amazing. Like, the crowds are absolutely nuts man. Nothing compares to looking down and seeing the fans singing your songs back to you." You smiled as Nikki went on about the tour, the two of you walking out to the waiting cab that was going to take you to the hotel you were staying at.

After you took a quick shower, you crawled in to bed next to Nikki. He instantly pulled you close and kissed the top of your head. "Sometimes it's so hard to think how we met at London's first show and we've been together ever since," you mumbled into Nikki's chest as you held onto him.

"It's insane. Like, I remember when I first met you and was instantly drawn to you. I love you so much babe," Nikki said as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer.

                                                 ----------------------

You thanked Nikki as he handed you another drink, taking a sip out of it before following him back over to Tommy and Vince. He pulled you into his lap as he sat down on the couch, continuing the conversation he was having with the boys. "Dude! Oh my god, that girl I had in my room last night was fucking crazy! She was a straight-up freak like she did thi-" "T-Bone, not in front of (Y/N)," Nikki quickly shot daggers at the boy as he instantly shut up, rolling his eyes before getting up and walking off since Vince was busying himself with the girl next to him.

"Sixx! You sleazy mother fucker! Get over here!" Some guy you didn't know yelled as your boyfriend smiled, moving you next to him so he could walk away. A soft sigh escaped your mouth before you downed the drink, trying to prepare yourself for the rest of the party.

About ten drinks later, a pair of some dudes shoes being ruined, and a table dance later, you finally found Nikki again. "Baby! I finally found you, you sneaky little guy you," you slurred as you crashed into him, his arms instantly catching you. It's obvious he was high, but not nearly as out of it as you were.

"Let's go home, you're fucking trashed," he said, helping you stand. "No! I want to go dance, come dance with me. Ha, get it. Come on and dance," Nikki cracked a smile at your joke before shaking his head, leading you to the door. "Nikkiiiiiii, I want to danceeeee," you whined, fighting back.

He shook his head again, still leading you to the front door. You started getting irritated, thinking about why you were even at the party. "You know, you drag me to all these lame-ass parties and I can't even have fun without you being a fucking buzzkill." "Babe, stop talking before you say something stupid. Now let's go home."

"No, you know what Sixx, fuck you. I've been trying so hard to make you happy and be the girl you want but you make it so fucking hard. I come to these parties with you and I watch you slowly kill yourself with all the drugs and stupid shit you do and I'm just supposed to sit back and be the good little girlfriend. I'm fucking sick of it.

One day this is gonna fucking kill you and all I'm gonna be able to say at your funeral is I to-" "Shut up. Just fucking stop talking," Nikki snapped, the two of you finally outside. Those six words almost instantly sobered you up and you became even more furious.

You instantly pulled away from him, still slightly unstable but stable enough to stand on your own. "You're telling me to shut up Nikki? Are you fucking kidding me? I've wasted so many fucking years dealing with you and your shit and I'm fucking over it. I'm sick of the bullshit that comes along with all the drugs and the money, it's so fuc-" "Oh, you mean the money that got you your last record deal?" Nikki yelled, causing people to slowly start swarming outside.

A small chuckled escaped your mouth as you walked over to him, getting in his face. "Fuck you Nikki Sixx. Never fucking talk to me ever again."

Before he could say anything, you turned around and started walking down the street.

                                                   --------------------

"Hey mom, where is the milk?" "Oh, we don't have any. I just sent your father to the store to get some," she shouted from the dining room, changing the table cloth and fixing the centerpiece. You nodded before shutting the fridge, deciding to ditch the coffee in your mug for a cup of water.

When you made your way back into the living room, your mom had sat down on the couch with the news pulled up. "Turn it up," you mumbled as you heard them talking about Motley Crue. She quickly did, keeping her eyes on the screen.

"It's a sad night for rock and roll, we've just received unconfirmed reports that Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx has died in Hollywood the evening of an apparent drug overdose." Tears instantly flooded your eyes as you set the cup on the coffee table, your mind going a thousand miles a minute.

Before your mother could react, you quickly made your way to your room, locking the door so no one could get in. The tears didn't stop streaming down your face, the room slowly crushing down on you.

Suddenly, you got the urge to go to his house. There was no way this could be real. There is no way he was actually dead. "(Y/N), sweetheart ple-wait, where are you going?" Your mother tried following you out of the house but was stopped by your father, the two of them watching you drive off.

When you got to Nikki's house, you didn't even shut bother to shut off your car before you walked into the house. Everything was exactly where it was when you lived together, it looked like nothing had been touched.

As you stared at the broken picture of the two of you, you didn't even hear the front door open and close. Nikki stood there like a zombie as he watched you, tears streaming down his face. "God, Nikki. You fucking idiot," you whispered as you ran your fingers over the broken frame.

"I know, and I'm so sorry." A scream came out of your mouth as you whipped around, more tears streaming down your face. You slowly walked over to him, lightly holding his face in your hands. "Oh my god, you're not dead," you whispered before pulling him into a tight hug.

His arms slowly wrapped around you, Nikki leaning into you for support. "Please promise me you'll get clean, I can't lose you ever again," you mumbled into him, tears still streaming down your face. "I promise baby, I promise."

[mxopifex]

I’m stuck in bed with the flu so I figured why not rewatch the 1998 Cats? I loved it fiercely as a middle schooler, but haven’t watched it in ages and now everyone is fussed about a movie I haven’t watched because I was told it has more of the aggressive overuse of close ups that made Les Mis unwatchable because I kept feeling like every actor was invading my personal space. (I was down for crazy bad cgi but having to deal with the cinematic equivalent of someone standing six inches away from me the whole film was a no go)

This was just so uncomfortable ok. The whole movie you are right up in everyone’s face like that and it sucked balls. And apparently no one told the director that it was awful because he just did it again.

But on to the stage play Cats. I’m struck by how the songs are mostly nonsense junk but the dancing is fantastic. Like 80% of the lyrics are just “we are cats and are silly friend shaped critters” but it’s all delivered while people are doing backflips, somersaults, and in the case of Rum Tum Tugger, a lot of pelvic thrusting. Fantastic. And further proof why the movie should be avoiding all the close up shots.

The movie should never have gotten rid of the puffball hair pieces. They are super cute! As are the big soft leg and arm warmers. Like they really transform “awkward morph suit furry” to “looks like they give good hugs.”

The whole premise of cabaret theater put on by cats competing to be abducted by aliens so they can be reborn is absolutely as bonkers as I remember it, but I had forgotten there were bits where the cats made costumes out of trash and they are adorable. Cats dancing around in bits of trashbag to look like cockroaches > creepy people faced cockroaches.

Grizzbella’s ears are awful. They look like mouse ears not cat ears. Don’t @ me.

I did not remember just how many of the cats had spiked leather collars. Who puts a spiked leather collar on a cat?????? And not like, little spikes either. These are big long fuckers.

12 year old me may have had no idea why I was so interested in Jemima and Munkustrap, but older, wiser, bisexual me knows.

Anyway, as far as sick watching I could have done much worse. I can definitely see why young me who liked animals better than people loved the shit out of this one.

[primal-screamer-blog1]

smut prompt request for @bowiesixx 64. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you’ll forget you ever met that asshole.” featuring Nikki Sixx A/N: This ended up being way longer than I ever intended it to be. I really only ever mean to write one scene but some of these prompts are really open for development and I like story as much as I like smut! Hope you enjoy. Warnings: 18+, smut, break ups, misogynist slurs links: smut prompts fluff/angst prompts masterlist requests open for guns n’ roses, motley crue

You were crying again. Collapsed on the couch, you couldn’t even feel truly sad anymore; not about him anyway. You knew you’d lost your boyfriend - ex boyfriend, you corrected yourself - long before he cheated on you. It just hurt to finally admit defeat after being together for so long. You’d seen it coming; there were plenty of arguments and plenty of emotional distance for both of you to catch on that things between you weren’t working. But you never wanted to just give up, not without a fair fight at least. Apparently he did. It’d been a month since you broke up and though you’d gotten used to the idea of being without him, it was the long nights alone that left you feeling broken. You’d worked for so much; had an apartment together, a dog, a future. And just like that, it was all gone. No, you couldn’t feel sad. As far as sadness went, you’d already processed those emotions several times over to feel it become dulled. But you did feel displaced. You were staying with Nikki while you were between places. You didn’t want to ask, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. After the success of their last album, he’d bought a place of his own and it was nothing short of massive. “Of course you’re gonna stay with me while you look for a place.” He told you when you first mentioned you were moving out. “Nikki, I can’t impose on you.” “Impose? Please, I want to help. Besides, it’s not like I don’t owe you.” He referred to years ago, before the money and the fame. Before Motley Crue even started, you let Nikki stay on your couch often when he had nowhere to live. You gave him a weak shrug, unable to figure out how to thank him, too emotionally exhausted to begin to try. “Do you really insist?” “I do.” He smiled warmly at you.  “There are like eleven rooms. You’re not putting me out at all.” When he got back from the club tonight, however, and you were crying on the couch for the third time that week, he couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Not with you, never with you, but he couldn’t stand to see you so broken down. For as long as he’d known you, he knew you to be assertive and strong willed. He always thought you were far too good for your ex, but in the past couple months he’d become unable to stand him. When the fights first started getting really bad, it was almost nightly that you were crying on Nikki’s shoulder, lamenting some horrible thing your boyfriend said. Nikki was disgusted at the things he would call you, hearing you recount cruel taunts of “whore, bitch, cunt, worthless.” And what made Nikki furious, enough to snap that skinny fuckers neck, was that you were starting to believe all those things. The cheating didn’t come as any surprise to Nikki. He was more surprised that you stuck around long enough for it to happen. However, he couldn’t blame you for needing a less ambiguous reason to leave such a long relationship. You were always kind like that to people - you always gave them the benefit of the doubt until you no longer could. This was a good thing sometimes. For the people who appreciated it, it showed just how much those friendships really meant to you. But other times, Nikki had seen you get taken advantage of by people who never deserved your love and care in the first place. More than anything, he hated that your ex had done that to you. You’d done nothing but love and support him. Sure, sometimes things don’t work out and couples break up, that was only reasonable. But Nikki felt an unfamiliar rage kick up in his chest when he thought about him being so unnecessarily cruel to you. He dropped himself hard on the couch next to you, stumbling a little on his way there. He was still a little drunk. You could smell the whiskey and cigarettes of the night heavy on his breath. You didn’t mind. Nikki had the tendency to become a total sweetheart to you when he was drinking. He made strained noise with his throat as he pulled you off the arm of the couch and into his chest. “Come here.” You wiped your tears from your eyes and sniffled a bit, leaning up against him. A few soft sobs kept you shaking. He clumsily pushed your damp hair from your wet eyes, but it just fell back into your face. “You wanna talk about it?” You sat up straighter so that you sat across from him. “I just…” You pulled in a deep breath, shaking off your tears with finality. “I just miss him.” Nikki groaned and thumped his foot on the ground. “I know, I know. I guess I don’t miss him. I just miss our relationship. It’s hard sleeping alone when you’ve been next to someone for a few years.” Nikki shrugged. “You can sleep in my bed.” You shot him a look. “Not like that. Look, I get it. I’m lonely in that big ass bed too!” “I’m already taking up a whole room in your house. I don’t wanna take your bed too.” “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, obviously. I just know how much being alone sucks and that bed is huge. Just might make you feel better.” It did sound nice. The guest bedroom that you were staying in was nice; soft clean sheets, a large TV and a record player with an impressive speaker set up that you were taking full advantage of. You were thankful Nikki had given you such a nice place to recuperate from losing so much. But the nights alone had not been pleasant. If not the lack of touch, the empty space and the loss of body heat and someone else’s shallow breathing served as a constant reminder that you were on your own now. It hurt. And for touch, you ached. God you ached. “C’mon. Let’s go upstairs. You weren’t gonna sleep on the couch were you?” “I was gonna try to read a book or something.” You rolled your eyes at your failed attempt. “E for Effort.” You cocked your head. “It’s ‘A for Effort.” He laughed and stood up. “That doesn’t make any sense.” “No, it’s- nevermind.” While you changed out of your clothes and into your pajamas, brushed your teeth, Nikki took his time showering and getting a glass of water to sober up before bed. It was nice seeing him start to take care of himself and be a bit more mindful of things these days. He still had a long way to go, but to see him make the effort was refreshing. You pulled on a big black Iron Maiden t shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, pulling your hair up before padding into his room. “You good?” You called, knocking on the open door and stepping in a bit. Nikki faced away from the door, still pulling on his boxer briefs, his hair wet and laid flat down his tanned and toned back, his ass surprisingly muscular. You quickly stepped out and quietly cursed at yourself, feeling stupid for not waiting for him to tell you to come in. However, he either didn’t mind or didn’t notice. “Yeah, yeah, come in.” He mumbled and opened the door for you before stepping over to his California King size bed. Everything was black; the carpet, the curtains, the walls, the bedsheets. Nikki stretched out on top of the luxurious satin comforter and let out a long, loud yawn, throwing his long legs askew, his arms splayed above his head on the pillow. His tattooed chest rose and fell with his deep, tired breaths. Still damp from the shower, his body was long and lean. However, his shoulders were broad and his legs were toned from spending most of his time running around on giant stages. His arms the same from years of playing bass. Nikki’s hair framed his face, a rare site to see it in its natural state. With his eyes shut, he lifted a hand and pointed to a stereo on the entertainment system in front of his bed. “You wanna put on a record to fall asleep to?” “Do you have a preference?” You asked, browsing his selection. “Put on Judas Priest.” He said sarcastically, holding up his devil horns. You rolled your eyes and flipped through the records. Knitting your brows together, you pulled out Sade’s Promise. “Really?” You asked, holding it up to him and laughing. “Hey you can bite me, alright? That album rocks.” “Actually, by definition it’s the only thing in here that doesn’t.” You said, looking at the track listing on the back of it. “Everything else you have in here is metal, I can’t fall asleep to that.” “I love Sade. No objections from me.” The speakers cracked with the sound of the needle picking up the first track before the soft music filled the room. Nikki turned over and felt around his bedside table before finding the a remote to click the lights off.  You climbed into the downy satin, the sheets rustling under your hands and knees. You fell down onto one of his king sized pillows and laughed. It was big enough for you to wrap your arms and legs around. “These giant pillows are so crucial.” “I fucking love this giant bed. You could fit ten people in here and I’d never know.” He said in the dark, his weight shifting about on the mattress while he worked himself under the comforter. “I bet you’d love that, perv.” You shot at him. “I wouldn’t ask ‘em to leave.” He threw his hands up, falling back into the pillows. You moved closer to him and settled in under the blankets. Nikki’s breathing slowed and grew hoarse, already drifting off to sleep. Having his presence there was enough to drive off the anxiety you’d been experiencing every night for weeks. Somebody else being there, no matter who it was, just made you feel safe. But Nikki specifically, half naked and sprawled out next to you, was making you feel something else. The thoughts weren’t the only thing that had been keeping you up. Loneliness came well equipped with its own brand of physicality, one that left you gripping your own skin at night, your fingers buried deep between your legs. The bass on the record swelled and you sighed, Nikki’s breath tempting you to feel it against your neck. Your skin vibrated, aware of the blood flowing in the pheromone soaked body beside you. Your senses begged for contact. “Do you mind if I snuggle?” You asked quietly, shaking him lightly from sleep before he was completely out. “Huh?” He asked, confused in his foggy mind before processing what you said fully. He lazily lifted his arm, beckoning you closer. He was warm against you, his heart beat on your back. He moved gently, finding comfort around your form. You slid your legs between his, a slight shiver falling down your back as his hairs tickled your smooth skin. A small, quiet sigh escaped you as his nose brushed against your ear. His hips responded before he did, bucking up into you as he pulled in a gasp through his nose. You rocked back into him and his forearm locked across your shoulders, holding you close. You felt him grow hard on the back of your thigh and he grinded up against you. He shook his head, now fully awake and aware of the situation. His grip loosened and he became still. “You okay?” He mumbled sleepily into your hair. You rolled over in his arms and snaked your own around his shoulders. “Nikki….” You began. But you didn’t have to say anything else. He knew what you were asking. Almost instinctively, he flipped you on your back, holding your wrists above your head with one hand. He moved your hair out of your face and peered intensely into your eyes. “You sure?” He asked. “Please.” His mouth was at your throat with your wrists pinned above you. With his other hand, his palm pushed across your stomach under your shirt and up between your breasts. He wrapped his hand softly around your throat and let go of his grip on your wrists. His tongue was hot along your jawline and he let out a low growl. He held you there and caressed your face, his mouth breathing hot in your ear. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll forget you ever met that asshole.” Feverishly, he reached down and pulled his erect cock from his briefs as you pulled your t shirt over your head. He took care to push his fingers into you, eliciting a sharp gasp as his mouth latched over your nipple, pushing into you as his tongue rolled over the sensitive tissue.  He pushed his fingers in deep and took a quick, sharp bite and you cried out, letting him know you savored the delicious sensation of pleasure and pain. Your eyes closed, you reached down to feel him, but he pulled your hand away and placed it back over your head. You whimpered, bucking your hips up to him, pleading for more. He pressed his forehead to yours and chuckled low. “Nuh-uh.” He said and laid a wet kiss on the hollow of your throat. “No way, this is for you. Don’t worry about me.” He delivered. Trailing hard, wet kisses down between your tits and taking time to suckle at your hips, Nikki pulled off your shorts and hid his face between your thighs. He worked you hard and messy with his fingers and mouth, sucking and kissing your clit, flicking his tongue quickly against it between hard, wet laps, his fingers moving in and out. Even stopping to breathe, there wasn’t a moment where he let you lose the flow of energy. Your head rolled back, your legs around his neck now and you tangled your fingers into his hair. Cries fell from your lips as you pulled him in closer and harder until finally you feel yourself release and tighten around him. Your body spasms as you cum, aware of his eyes on you as you moan and writhe. Your knees weaken and your legs fall beside him. He smiles as he rises to meet you, happy with his work. He flips his hair back and finally, he pushes into you with hard and hot friction, stretching you around his girth. You let out a low moan as he lumbers on top of you and with a soft “oh fuck….” into you. And then deeper. And then even deeper. He rolls his hips up into you over and over, painfully slow, taking his time to enjoy himself knowing you already had. He takes his fingers and dances them across your lips, dipping them into your mouth as he thrusts in tandem. Your tongue swirls around him, tasting yourself on his skin, a joyful hum coming from your throat. And then he’s faster. You feel him throb and grow harder again inside you and you begin to swell with a new heat around his cock. The head of his dick twitches and you are both slick with his pre cum. He pounds into you hard and then pulls out, holding himself back, leaving you whimpering again. “You want it?” He says through shallow pants, holding your arms above your head again. “Please.” Your voice cracks. “Say it.” “I want it.” You pout, your hips rising up into him. He shakes his head, nearly out of breath. “Say the whole thing.” He commands. “Nikki, please.” “The whole thing.” “Nikki.” You say with more authority, suddenly aware of what he wants to hear. “Please, I need to cum all over your fat cock.” He holds you at the hips and pushes furiously into you, each time with a low grunt from his chest until he snarls. A dizzy rush breaks over your skin and his hands are in your hair, the at your breasts, the muscles in his thigh and stomach jumping and he cums hard, hot inside you like a shot of whiskey. Collapsing on top of you and breathing heavy, he takes a hard bite of your shoulder. You let out a playful squeal and roll onto your stomach, pushing him onto his side. Too exhausted to move, you both lay there, naked and broken, covered in the others sweat. Nikki’s hair clings to the back of your neck, chest heaving. He lets out a gravely sigh and rolls around, swinging his legs around the mattress.  He stretches his arms above his head and you extend your limbs out as far as they can go, your entire body feeling lighter than it had when you first got into his bed. “I’m going to smoke a cigarette.” He said and took a deep drink from a glass of water on his nightside table. “You feel better?” You curled into yourself, pulling the covers over your naked body. “Yes, Nikki, thank you.” You cooed, your eyes too heavy to see a smile spread across his face. He lands a firm pat on your ass through the covers. “Good.” He says and heads out the door while you drift to sleep easier than you had in weeks, not a single worry left on your mind.

[rantshemlock]

you heard it right folks, for the second year in a row i watched 

Every Halloween Film

it took around 18 hours. there are eleven movies now after all. next year there will be twelve, and next year i will throw myself into the river thames if i make myself watch Rob Zombie’s Halloween II again. 

this time i wrote it out as a journal. it is a mess. i will not edit it. if you read the entire thing you dont get a prize. im very, very tired. i watched eleven movies today. i like five of them. 

9:27- I boot up Halloween (1978). I don’t know if this is the movie I’ve seen the most in my life, but I’ve certainly seen it dozens of times, and it never loses its impact. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m reading into micro-expressions on actors’ faces and I don’t know how much any of this was ever intended, but it certainly enhances my own reading of the film. I catch the expression of slight annoyance on Judith’s face when Michael walks into her room; it’s clear she had just no idea this was coming.

9:37- The staging of the opening of Halloween is so like a nightmare, a comparison I keep using this year for the movies I watch, but there’s a sense of being placed in the immediacy of what’s happening with no context and a burden of responsibility that only exists in dreams in the first few opening scenes. You don’t know where you are or what you’re supposed to be doing, but something huge and terrible is happening and the thick, dark shadows combined with the pale white-blue light the film uses makes everything emerge out of the black but never truly divorce itself from the darkness.

The way Loomis talks about Michael like some kind of animal is such a point of fixation for me. He calls Michael ‘it’ and wants ‘it’ to be locked up for life. Maybe it’s just being of a crazy persuasion myself but being the responsibility of a doctor who despises you and refers to you as an untreatable evil doesn’t feel like it would be much help to me. I just don’t think Loomis is a great doctor, is my point.

Laurie’s introduction is such a surge of light in a film that has up until now been shot almost exclusively in darkness. We are shown someone good, normal, happy, but the long, distant shots mean we are not accompanying her on this journey from her perspective; we are following her. Halloween legend suggests Michael doesn’t start stalking Laurie until she approaches the Myers’ house, but it feels like his eyes are lingering on her long before she does that. He casts a long shadow over her life before she even knows he exists.

9:42- The fact the film approaches the idea that it doesn’t make sense Michael would know how to drive a car but doesn’t explain it at all is weirdly funny. Just fuck it man, he can drive.

9:45: I really love the focus on Michael as a physical being. The fact we see him touch someone with his hands, open a car, steer while driving, run his hand over a fence… All of this adds a sense of Michael being tangible that I think is so vital. Michael Myers is a human being, not a demon, and that’s precisely why he is scary. Halloween as always meant to be a movie about the person next door; the fear comes from the fact that something inside your apparently nice, normal neighbourhood is rotten to the core. Laurie herself is incredibly on edge almost from the start; she knows something is wrong. She just hasn’t figured out what yet.

9:57- The gravekeeper’s insistence that something like this happens in every town is probably right on the money. It’s definitely what the film wants you to understand. The apparent nicety of your hometown doesn’t mean it’s free of violence, only that you’re trained not to notice it.

10:01- at exactly 0:33:16 Michael drives by in the background right behind Loomis without Loomis noticing, which is hysterically funny to me. I imagine Michael finds this incredibly funny too.

10:02- Laurie saying she’d “rather go to the dance with Ben Traimor” smacks of being a teenager and gay and saying the name of the first kid you know who’s nice to you because you guess that’s what having a crush is?

10:05- Loomis’ insistence at 0:37:12 that Michael killed and ate a dog raw is incredible to me. Also, I can’t say “Michael raw dog” to my friends without them screaming hysterically at me. They’re fuckers, and I hate them

10:07- From Loomis’ description, he met Michael when Michael was six, already condemned by the doctors as an incurable patient, and stopped treating Michael and turned to insisting he be locked up by the time Michael was fourteen. I think about this a lot.

10:13- “I’m not about to let anything happen to you.” I’m always very touched by Laurie’s immediate assertion of her position as a protector of children.

10:19- Lindsay caring literally only about watching horror movies is incredibly relatable. Truly a hero I can finally understand.

10:28- The house across the street, Lindsay’s house, is almost as haunting as the Myers house itself. It’s certainly a beautiful spectacle, the huge white building with its pillars and vast, blank windows, looming out of the darkness like a moon-lit tombstone. Laurie always seems so lonely when she watches it from the outside.

10:33- The head tilt after Michael pins Bob to the wall is so fucking iconic. It’s the first time it was done, I believe, and while it’s a cliché now it’s still chilling. The way Michael just studies Bob’s corpse, thoughts completely unable to be interpreted. The fact he turfs up in a ghost costume wearing Bob’s glasses moments later is so strange; there’s really no reason he would do that at all, other than the idea he finds it funny. There’s more showmanship to what Michael does than people recognise a lot of the time, I think. It’s like he really wants his work to be seen.

10:43- The shot of Annie on the bed under Judith’s tombstone has to be one of the most beautiful shots in the franchise. The perfect arrangement made just for Laurie to walk in on and experience in one precise way is so meticulous. Michael’s obsessiveness nature manifest in so many ways. The final showdown between Michael and Laurie is only around ten minutes long but it’s an incredible endurance test of a scene; the way Michael grows out of the shadows like he’s being formed within them is still beautiful and terrifying.

I think a really underrated part of this sequence that makes it so frightening is how Laurie is pointedly not alone; the neighbourhood she’s in is populated, and there are people around her. But when she runs to the neighbours for help, screaming and banging on the doors, they choose to ignore her. Seeing something they don’t like in their neighbourhood, they shut it out.

10:50- the closet scene is an incredible piece of filmmaking. There’s really never been anything before or since. I love art with a lot of lines and shadows and seeing the shadow of Michael moments before he breaks through the door is so haunting.

10:52- Laurie desperate and holding the knife in her hands is stunning. I love her.

10:54- I love the brief glimpse of seeing Michael’s face and how it stops him dead in his tracks. The fact he looks so painfully normal is so important too.

10:55- There’s a lot to be said about Loomis confirming Michael is ‘the Boogeyman’. I think Michael’s definite physical humanity in this movie is so important because it contrasts so strongly against the dehumanisation of him by the characters around him. We can only accept there’s a nightmare inside our neighbourhoods if we choose to believe it isn’t natural to it; that someone like that could not form there, but must have been artificially summoned, like a demon. Later movies and the remakes run with this idea; that Michael is somehow an outsider, but I think that defeats the entire point. Michael is part of this world just as much as Laurie is, whether we want to believe it or not.

10:57- I should be starting Halloween II but unfortunately, I have to go to the pharmacy. It might be Halloween, but prescription medications wait for no slasher villain.

11:13- I start watching Halloween II (1981). I like that this movie starts off with Mr Sandman. Horror movies having nursery rhymes in them now is another cliché, but this is such an interesting pick for Michael. I suppose it fits with him being the Boogeyman; he’s a creature of nightmares that slinks into our homes only through dreams. Allegedly.

I like the decision to pick this movie up right after the last one stopped, something that it looks like 2020’s Halloween Kills will be duplicating. It just makes a straightforward kind of sense.

11:21- The hysteria of Loomis screaming “I shot him six times!” over and over is sort of funny and sort of sick. There’s a slight traumatised, obsessive lunacy in Loomis the same as there is in Michael. I like the parallels between them. Loomis raised Michael more than Michael’s own parents did; it makes sense he’d have a lingering affect.

11:23- The shots from Michael’s perspective both in the first movie and this one are great. I love that we’re challenged to be inside his mind. We follow Michael a lot in this early opening. There’s an obvious strategy to his actions in this film, but the randomness of his kills are new. In the first movie, all the kills either get him something or revolve around Laurie. In this one, he kind of just does whatever, a theme that carries on for the rest of the movie.

11:24- A difference I don’t like so much in this movie is that the neighbours are so much more keyed into each other; they pay attention to the screaming and the strange noises, watch out for things that look out of place. I feel like it clashes with the first movie’s themes of isolation simply through your neighbours not caring what happens to you.

11:32- Ben Traimor getting hit by a cop car which crashes into a van and then explodes is one of the funniest fucking things that’s ever happened in this franchise. It is so completely fucking inexplicable and suddenly violent and pointless that it becomes hysterical, which is unfortunate given it’s meant to be a serious scene.

The breakdown scene that follows, where the Sheriff Brackett finds his daughter Annie is dead however is excellent. Charles Cyphers manages to carry the weight of the tragedy pretty effectively for a film that can veer into the goofy too easily, and Dr Loomis’ more measured delivery on his beliefs about Myers is Donald Pleasance at his best.

Halloween II isn’t any longer than Halloween, but the pacing is worse. It lets go of the original’s constant, haunting tension and delivers a sloppier movie as a result, too padded with side characters and people passing through the world with no consequence. The character of Brett is probably one of the most obnoxious characters in the franchise, which is saying a lot.

11:46- Laurie literally not knowing it was Michael Myers who was after her until she’s told is weirdly sad. Like of course she didn’t know, but it’s still sad. She feels very small and vulnerable in this movie, very lost in the big, empty hospital. The fact her parents are inexplicably missing and never shows up makes me crazy. I always wonder if there was a dropped plot thread where Michael was meant to have killed them, or something, because there’s really no explanation.

11:53- The musical stings in this movie are so odd. They’re too bleepy. Don’t know what the hell happened.

11:55- I take the laptop into the kitchen to make a sandwich while I watch the movie. It’s early for lunch but I don’t eat breakfast and I can actively feel my braincells hurting me.

12:01- I’m fascinated by the shots in this of the faint dream Laurie has of seeing a boy in the hospital when she was a child. I can never decide if these are real or not; if she’s unlocking some strange, contextless memory from childhood or just imagining it, instinctively feeling the connection between her and Michael without knowing the truth.

12:04- Bud’s off-screen death is so unsatisfying. Also, so continues the trend of Michael being mistaken for people’s boyfriends. Guess he’s just boyfriend material. Seems unbelievable to me she wouldn’t notice how dirty his hands are, though. And Jesus, the boiling her to death kill is really pretty brutal and graphic, after kills in the first few movies are so relatively restrained.

12:07- Michael writing SAMHAIN on the wall is so over the top. Yeah, I can believe he’s fucking 21 years old. Michael is a performance art student.

12:09- Laurie having Michael’s ability to go deadly still and silent is neat. I like them having links. They’re siblings after all. Runs in Myers family.

12:11- The needle into the side of the head kill is bizarre. Also, the head-tilt here feels cheap. I have already started stealing candy from the bowl intended for trick-or-treaters. In my defence, I could, and I wanted it.

12:20- I like that Laurie has an instinct to run, hide and defend herself. I don’t know if it’s the trauma of surviving or a prenatural sense that Michael is coming for her, but I like it. I don’t like that this entire movie is like twenty minutes longer than it needs to be, or how little Laurie is actually in it.

12:28- The reveal that Laurie is Michael’s sister is so great. It fits so well. I say bullshit to anyone who doesn’t like it. The repetition and obsessiveness of Michael’s behaviour, the strange links and parallels between Laurie and Michael. The fact that the two of them are just as much parts of Haddonfield as each other. It just feels right for them to be related. They are related.

12:31- Laurie crawling on the street begging for help as Loomis ignores her again – this man is truly useless.

12:33- Michael walking directly through a glass door is hysterical.

12:38- Laurie calling Michael’s name, stopping him for a second, blinding him with a shot… This last sequence is fantastic. There’s an enormous amount of pity in seeing Michael blindly stumbling around, swinging his knife, unable to see but still so desperate to kill. The fact she stops him by calling his name is great. The way it almost, for a second, perks some recognition inside him. I think a lot about Michael’s sense of identity. Who does he think he is? I guess we’re never going to find out.

12:43- Halloween III: Season of the Witch time. There’s a trend now of saying this is really the best Halloween movie. I can’t really argue with people’s personal takes, but there’s always a sense to that to me of denying the classic to favour the underdog. People love an underdog. But Halloween III definitely does kind of rule. As much conspiracy thriller as it is horror movie, Halloween III is deeply weird and creative, but packed with great performances and truly memorable special effects, with a killer soundtrack to boot.

1:11- Halloween III is so distinct feeling; it almost feels like a John Carpenter movie, but more like The Thing than Halloween. The film is less aesthetically distinct than Halloween; it takes place over days, in many locations, following the characters as they dig into the conspiracy behind the menacing Silver Shamrock company. It’s well-written and often pretty witty and builds an incredible sense of menace and strangeness. The little company town surrounding the Silver Shamrock factory is bizarre and frightening and although the film can be a little heavy-handed in its depiction of a surveillance state, it certainly builds up atmosphere.

1:20- The scene of the old drunk being taken out by the corporate men in black rules in how suddenly violent and horrible it is. We love a horror movie.

1:26- Some of the digital effects leave a little to be desired but god the practical effects are fucking incredible, and so goddamn memorable and horrible.

1:33- The over-the-top niceness of the Silver Shamrock owner is so pitch-perfect. He’s so nice that it’s obviously, blatantly menacing. What owner of a big corporation like this just gives shit away for free? I mean, come on. I really love the apparent legends that surround him, though, the reputation of being a genius and a great man.

1:48- The complete calmness with which the whole plan gets revealed is so good because you really sense how fucking little threat our heroes pose; no one here thinks they have a chance in hell of stopping Silver Shamrock. The plan in itself is absurd, but like, who cares. It’s fun. The fact Cochran is like, delighted to show off his big ideas because he’s so confident nothing will stop them. And in a way he’s right; at least partially, the heroes do ultimately fail.

2:00- the speech Cochran delivers about the power of Samhain rules. It’s so intense and menacing. Fucking great performance here.

2:07- As much as I like the ending, I think how much it drags on kind of kills some of the tension. Feels like it could have been cut back. The imagery at the very end is fantastic though; it’s so weird. The way this movie embraces strangeness is great; I’ll always take a film that tries to be something different and weird over anything that plays it safe.

2:20- Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. Jesus we’re starting down a dark path now. Halloween 4 is pretty thoroughly ‘ok’ and even has a couple of good moments but God. The decision to return to just being about Michael Myers after risking and flopping with an anthology movie is fine by me, but Halloween 4 plays it as safe as possible and lacks any of the flair or charm of the original. It just doesn’t have any style, and the forced drama falls short. Jamie Lee Curtis’ absence also feels like a sucking void in the film; it’s too painfully obvious that she was meant to be in this movie, and the fact she isn’t, the fact she died off-screen in some completely nondescript way is so depressing. The filmmakers assumed no one watching gave a shit about Laurie, and that’s so wrong and so disheartening.

2:25- the other doctors hating Loomis really adds to my reading of him as a man on the brink. He must be insufferable to know.

2:30- It really feels so painfully fucking unfair that Laurie would go through so much to just die in a random car accident. Or maybe there’s a kind of poetry in her dying without Michael’s involvement; just part of her own life.

2:36- Donald Pleasance is such a mensch. As stupid as these movies get, he never stopped bringing his fucking A-game and giving them as much respect and gravitas as he could. What a fucking legend.

2:41- Loomis seeing Michael in the diner is so fucking good. Loomis’ quiet pleading, asking Michael not to go back to Haddonfield but just take him instead, the quiet God damn you. Such a great moment. Would be better if Michael didn’t just suddenly teleport out of the room with no explanation, but you can’t have it all.

2:42- Why are later Halloween movies so fond of explosions.

2:43- The kids literally chanting ‘Jamie’s an orphan’ at her is incredible. Not in a good way.

2:50- I fetch the kitten to keep him on my lap because my house is colder than Michael Myers’ black heart.

2:55- Michael looking at Laurie’s photos… Ugh.

2:56- Why do people not just believe Loomis when he says Michael is back. We have this thread every week, comrade.

3:06- Michael just kinda standing around in the background doesn’t really do much in terms of fear. It’s just silly. And his mask looks ridiculous.

3:12- This film is a masterclass in failing to raise tension.

3:23- There’s an attempt to manufacture conflict by having the police clash with a group baying for mob justice, but it all feels completely inert. Nothing in the film carries any weight or drama, and the tension is all derived from using familiar music stings to try and kick your brain into recognising it’s an appropriate place to feel something.

3:25- The kitten bites me, drinks my water, and goes to sit in a box instead. I hate him. The kill where Michael stabs someone through the gut with a shotgun and pins them to the wall is the most flagrantly absurd thing I’ve ever seen. The fact she’s immediately found also really kills the tension. Also why is Michael so fucking strong. He’s so strong.

3:31- I can see the intention with the roof scene, but there’s too much unintentional comedy and Michael is so unthreatening that it doesn’t hold together at all. I especially hate how Michael will just suddenly appear out of nowhere; the first movie utilises his forming out of the shadows so well, but it doesn’t fucking work the same if he’s just there, in a formerly empty and well-lit corridor. He’s not being beamed in by a spaceship.

3:39- God this film is slow. Michael’s hands look absolutely terrifically fucked up. I wish Laurie was here.

3:41- It is insufferable how this film has like ten climaxes. Jamie running to inspect Michael really just doesn’t make any sense. I understand why the filmmakers did it, but it doesn’t make sense. They allude to some connection between the two, but it’s really underplayed and doesn’t pay out well when so much of the movie is her being flatly scared of him. They could have – and should have – acted more on the idea of her finding some sort of familiar connection between them. Famously, the movie ends with the idea Jamie might have somehow inherited Michael’s drive to murder, but the plot thread disappointingly gets dropped after this movie.

3:47- It’s time for Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. God, this movie is such a non-entity in the franchise. It doesn’t have 6’s turbulent history or 4’s dramatic ending. It just like, occurs. It occupies space and time. It tries to further the connection between Jamie and Michael, turning it into something psychic and supernatural, and begins to introduce elements of the Cult of Thorne before that takes over as the plot of 6, but none of it is interesting and I also hate the attempt to make Halloween a supernatural franchise.

4:04- The totally legal for sure stream I’m using starts fucking up so everything takes a break while I find somewhere else to watch it.

4:05- Contemplate if life is worth it.

4:06- Film returns. It’s not worth it.

4:27- If screaming at kids was always Dr Loomis’ brand of psychiatry no wonder he couldn’t help Michael.

4:30- You really need to put in more effort than this if you want to make someone being murdered in broad daylight scary. If you’re not putting in the kind of effort Midsommar does to sell the death, you aren’t gonna get there. Halloween as a franchise seems obnoxiously dedicated to doing shit in the middle of the fucking day, for something who built the power of the original scares so much off of the quiet and darkness of the shadows.

4:39- Imagine leaving a traumatised child alone because you want to get laid. Tina’s character is fucking absurd. There are far too much entirely interchangeable faces in this movie screaming incoherently.

4:57- The scene of Michael desperately trying to run Jamie over with a car while the camera swings around hysterically and then the car inexplicably exploding is like peak mid-sequel Halloween. It really exemplifies how much the franchise started relying on noise and flash instead of like, being scary.

5:02- Loomis begging Michael to ‘fight the rage that drives you’ and saying that killing will never drive the anger out is too little too late, ain’t it. I like the idea of an appeal to his emotions but there’s so little emotional weight to the rest of the movie that it fails to maintain a meaningful tone. All the moments where Jamie is communing with Michael are supposed to drive tension I guess, but it mostly is just very silly.

5:09- Every set in this movie look so much like a set. Considering the first movie was just shot in a house I don’t understand why they didn’t do the same. I like the prospect of Loomis trying to talk to Michael, to get through to him emotionally, but seeing Michael just standing there in the really goofy fucking mask they gave him this film is just ridiculous. Donald Pleasance can only do so much.

5:19- Again we return to the idea of getting through to Michael emotionally. Jamie calls him uncle and asks for him to take his mask off. He does, even. But there doesn’t feel like there’s any understanding of who Michael is; there’s no consistent psychology or examination, only the gut feeling that family has to be important. But we know how Michael feels about family, and it’s not tender. He speaks his own language.

5:21- Where the fuck did Loomis even get a giant chain net and tranquiliser drafts.

5:25- Sure why wouldn’t a guy with a machine gun show up and just start slaughtering everyone like who the fuck cares.

5:28- I take a break to gather my thoughts and feelings emotionally so I can handle watching Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:32- I change the cat litter to avoid watching Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:40- I start Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.

5:50- The woman calls into radio station and says she’s in love with Michael Myers is the only person in this film I respect.

5:51- The decision to bring back Tommy Doyle as a conspiracy theorist who’s obsessed with Michael is a great concept, which is why I’m glad Tommy Doyle is in Halloween Kills so I never have to say Halloween 6 makes a point again. Paul Rudd (yes, that Paul Rudd) is shockingly terrible in this movie, and also, I don’t like him as an actor, so nothing about this performance endears him to me. I have no fucking idea what they directed him to do. It is miserable.

6:01- I am straight up not having a good time bro.

6:03- This is the only Halloween movie in a long time to actually try and show off its location; Halloween 5 could be set literally anywhere and is unfollowable, but Halloween 6 at least attempts to ground the movie in Haddonfield and show that this is a normal neighbourhood. Unfortunately, this movie takes place in nonsense magic doo-doo land so any attempt to ground us in anything is a waste of fucking time.

6:13- There’s a lot of reasons I don’t like this movie; I think the additions of mythology are absurd and go against the themes of the original, the conclusion is dumb as hell, the story is boring. It isn’t scary and it isn’t well-shot or well-written. But on a more abstract level, I hate its schlock, cheap understanding of what obsession and trauma does to someone. I fucking loathe that it uses rape as a shock tactic and how much abuse it puts its female characters through for no catharsis.

6:50- This curry I’m eating sucks ass. I want that on the record.

7:22- Jesus fucking Christ it’s finally time for Halloween H20: 20 Years Later. I love this movie. I love it for the ambition it had. It might not be a as fully realised examination of trauma after time as Halloween (2018) is, but I admire it for its vision. It doesn’t try to mimic the style of the first film, and I guess there’s a certain loss in aesthetic as it’s more akin to Scream or other fairly uniform 90s slasher movies in appearance, but it’s a far more confident movie than the other middling Halloween sequels. It has a clear understanding of what it wants the movie to be and is genuinely tense and thrilling because of that, as well as more readily grounded in reality. It has a genuine respect for the original that others fail to and tries to build an original film that follows it in a meaningful sense.  

7:56- Laurie is really condemned to be around people who don’t listen to her but as much of a horrible little punk shit her son is, narratives about inherited or family trauma make me go insane, so this all affects me still.

8:01- I like the discussion of fate in Frankenstein as parallel to the discussion of fate in the first movie. It’s silly, but I like it, and that’s on me.

8:07- One of the smartest moves this film makes is using its own score. A lot of the middling sequels just lift from the original without any care, but H20 puts in some effort into building up some actual atmosphere.

8:13- I like that Laurie is a mess but still holding it together. She’s jumpy and always watching, with a bottle of alcohol a little too close beside her. It’s not exactly the most monumental depiction of lifelong trauma, but the film makes an effort. I love its effort. I love Jamie Lee Curtis as well.

8:26- This film brings back a theatricality to the presentations of Michael’s victims that I feel the movies sorely lack. If it doesn’t look like an art project why bother? I was going to say I wish there was more development of the relationship with Michael and his nephew, but I don’t. I want more Laurie. Love Laurie.

8:28- Michael’s not good with keys. I love the fact that his hands and eyes are so clear, though. It brings back that kind of essential physicality he had in the original. Him making contact with Laurie, the shot of the two of them through the glass looking at each other is so fucking good.

8:34- Laurie standing in the drive with a fucking axe screaming Michael’s name as the Halloween them kicks in fucking rules so goddamn hard. The final fight scene between these two is an all-time great.

8:39- Laurie pulling a gun on a cop so she can kidnap the coroner’s van so she can make sure Michael is actually dead is fucking incredible. She’s the best person who’s ever been written. The final conclusion of the film, with Michael reaching out to her when he’s pinned down, and it’s unclear if he’s asking for help or trying to reach out to hurt her one last time but his eyes are filled with desperation is one of the best moments in any of the films, and the power of Laurie just delivering the killing blow makes it even better. The fact they both get to be so vulnerable and so human and have a moment, just a moment, where their hands touch for any reason other than violence is so fucking strong. I love this fucking movie.

8:45- Halloween: Resurrection. Because after just seeing Laurie fight for her life and get out alive, triumphing over Michael once and for all, obviously what we want is to have the whole thing turn out to be bullshit and a fake out and for Laurie to die in the first five minutes of this film? Fuck this movie man. Like fuck this movie.

8:59- as bad and stupid and shallow as this movie is, the slight manipulation Michael performs is pretty great, and Laurie’s line “Are you afraid of me?” is an all-time great. This film doesn’t earn Laurie’s death, though, and it doesn’t deserve Jamie Lee Curtis. I’m not even totally against the idea of finding out what Michael would do if all his family was dead, but this movie’s option of ‘be in a reality show being filmed in his house’ is probably the answer I never, ever, ever wanted.

9:03- I have given up.

9:25- People make a big deal out of the ending scene where Busta Rhymes electrocutes Michael Myers in the nuts but it is really the only moment of levity in what is otherwise the most boring experience anyone can have.

10:00- I am eating leftover candy and contemplating my life.

10:17- I boot up Halloween (2007). I have accepted death.

10:19- Yeah, what Halloween was really lacking was a guy yelling “I should crawl over there and skullfuck the shit outta you!” before hitting on his teenage stepdaughter. The level of overt grossness and extremity that Robert Zombert brings to this franchise is so fucking putrid and unnecessary. All he brings to this franchise is insane amounts of unbridled misogyny and pop psychology. I said the same thing last year and I’ll happily say it again; this movie’s idea of what makes a serial killer is like something from a daytime TV movie. I’m sure it was intended to be edgy, but the demonization of the working class and sex workers and the position of Michael as the lower-class outsider to the nice suburbs is the most conformist class politics in existence. Halloween (1978)’s depiction of a serial killer who was a part of and came from inside the nice, safe, upper middle-class suburb will always be a far, far more revolutionary statement than this.

10:44- I don’t believe this really gives Michael ‘more backstory’ since it basically just re-treads what the first movie did, but it sure does it worse. The film just takes an incredible amount of time to say ultimately nothing at all. What really gets me is that this does really destroy the Michael is the big bad boogeyman myth simply because the childhood it gives Michael doesn’t fit with who he is. The change just feels forced. The suddenness of his violence feels forced. There doesn’t seem to be any observation here other than it would be scary if a nice kid was actually murderer.

10:56- Why does Michael’s mother own a huge projector. The melodrama of her killing herself is so absurd.

11:03- Michael Myers gets called the F-slur so many times in this movie that I’m officially adopting him as part of the LGBT community.

11:12- people criticise the original for not having the most natural of dialogue for its teenage girl characters, but the teenagers in this film are so incredibly obnoxious that it’s borderline unbearable to watch. Their dialogue is unnatural too, because it’s the kind of shit a weird old man really, desperately wants teenage girls to say.

11:23- There isn’t a scene in this that doesn’t drag on for too long in a completely unfunny, charmless way. It’s also insanely aggravating how Zombie is incapable of holding the camera still for longer than a couple of seconds at a time, and why everyone in the movie always has to be twenty feet away at all times.

11:25- This movie is just the first movie but longer with people screaming fuck constantly and added rape scenes. It is so insanely fucking worthless it really defies description.

11:28- I could be hanging out with my friends but I’m watching a bad movie. Contemplating life again.

11:45- I wish Robert Zombert wasn’t so horny.

11:51- I like truly never want to hear screaming again. There’s so much noise in this movie all the time. There isn’t a fucking second of silence in this film that couldn’t be filled with someone screaming hysterically or shit breaking. There isn’t a moment where the camera holds still and lets us take in the information in the frame without wobbling deliriously or swinging around like it’s on a fucking office chair.

12:10- I wonder if I can go see Doctor Sleep tomorrow. It’s technically not Halloween anymore, but if I manage to watch all these films within twenty-four hours I think it still counts.

12:13- We’re on Halloween II (2009). I like that this movie opens up with an explanation of what the symbolism of the white horse represents, in case you’re too stupid to figure it out for yourself. I like that the flashback is also completely drained of colour, in case you’re too stupid to figure out that it’s a flashback, even after it had a title card explaining it was. Just in case you thought Michael turned into a kid again, or something.

12:17- Glad we’re back to the constant screaming and camera swirling, just in case you thought for a brief second you’d have a moment of fucking peace.

12:21- I joked about the absurdity of Ben Traimor in Halloween II (1982) getting hit by a van and then exploding but it really doesn’t match up to the pointless fucking spectacle of violence that occurs roughly every ten seconds in Halloween II (2009). There’s no reason whatsoever to have the coroner’s van full of rapists crash into a cow and have the most incredibly bloody crash scene ever while one of them screams fuck over and over, but it happens. It isn’t scary, funny, or interesting, but it sure happens. That just about sums up this movie. Loud, bloody, and gratuitous, but not, y’know, interesting.

12:39- What an exploitative ‘I think crazy chicks are hot’ vision of trauma this is.

12:48- The idea of Loomis cashing in on his fame and becoming a celebrity psychologist is a good idea, but in classic Rob Zombie way, it’s done in the least interesting way possible.

1:04- What the fuck is happening.

1:13- it is like fucking incredible how boring this movie is. None of these scenes have any purpose. It’s just stuff, it’s stuff to put on film, with no larger thesis or point. I don’t fully understand why anyone bothered making this movie.

1:29- Great, a party sequence. That’s what this film really needed. More pointless noise and scenes that go nowhere. It was way too quiet and plot-heavy until now.

1:31- Does Mr Zombie know he can just make music videos. Like wouldn’t it be easier.

1:55- The ending scene in this movie is so incredibly incoherent and unwatchable. The bringing of the strange psychic ghosts that haunt Michael and Laurie and making them real, physical presences only makes the film more incoherent. It’s all jerky, wild camera movements, strobe lighting and screaming from here on out. Michael is such a non-entity in this film. He’s in at least half the movie, but he’s not himself. He’s just like a big guy with a beard and one line.

1:59- The slo-mo is so unnecessary. Like you fucking had to make this movie even longer? For who? For what?

2:00- I wish we were all dead.

2:01- I think I’ve seen Blade Runner 2049, a movie I deeply love and cherish, less times than I’ve seen Rob Zombie’s Halloween II.

2:02- Feel depressed about this.

2:03- If I ever hear Love Hurts again, I’ll kill myself.

2:04- Spent two minutes in silent contemplation.

2:06- It’s finally time for Halloween (2018). It’s hard to understate how much respect I have for this movie. Like I said earlier, I admire H20 a lot for its attempt to be a reaction to Laurie’s trauma and grief, but it does not manage to pull this off with anywhere near as much grace and effectiveness as Halloween (2018). And on top of that, the film is stunningly shot, the only film on par with the original in terms of how beautiful and memorable the cinematography is.

2:10- The distance from which we see Michael initially is so great; there’s so much restraint. He’s unmasked for a good portion of the early movie, but the film holds back in a way that makes his face completely unreadable and instead focuses on people’s reactions to and fear of him. It gives a sense that he’s almost too frightening to be fully captured on film. We can never really understand the legend of Michael, the same way people who don’t see him ‘in the wild’ can’t; we can only see him through legends.

2:14- The soundtrack in this movie is a fucking incredible beast. John Carpenter is God, frankly.

2:17- I adore Laurie’s portrayal in this movie. She’s so cold and defensive towards people who don’t believe or respect her, but there’s a painful, raw vulnerability to her as well. She’s traumatised person who has run the gamut of people refusing to understand or respect her trauma or the worldview she’s developed. There’s such a profound mixture of power and pain, a sense of immense dignity to her. She’s sick to death of the lack of respect and cruelty she’s faced. I just love how much emotion was put into her performance, how much the filmmakers really cared about making her a fully realised expression of trauma and the way people react.

2:24- Dave blowing up a pumpkin with a firecracker is the most accurately teenage thing that’s ever happened in these movies.

2:25- Laurie standing on the sidewalk outside the school in a mirror of how Michael did rules. The callbacks in this movie are always so underplayed that they feel like they take actual meaning, rather than just being a case of demanding fans look at something cool they recognise.

2:31- I am deliriously sleepy. Laurie’s breakdown at family dinner is so painful. She carries so much grief; she is, in her eyes, the only one who does and who may ever know the truth, surrounded by people who can’t understand her because trying to put themselves in her world hurts them too much. I think Laurie’s daughter’s description of what it was like growing up in a survivalist environment filled with anxiety and paranoia is so key; it was traumatising for her to grow up in a trauma-based environment. I hope she gets more time in the next movie.

2:43- This is the third movie in the franchise where Michael kills people in a public toilet, but definitely the best time it’s been done. Michael throwing teeth at the journalist writing about him is something that is so insane that it’s now burned itself directly into my brain and I am incapable of not tweeting ‘i wish michael myers would throw teeth on me’ at least once every three weeks.

2:46- The gravity that’s given to Michael putting the mask on is mesmerising. Again, I love the physicality of his hands and motions; this movie doesn’t forget he’s a real, physical person.

2:52- I’m obsessed with Michael’s decision not to kill the baby. He’s on a random murder spree, killing anyone who he sees without any particular cause, but he passes right by the baby. Looks at it, and then chooses not to. He made an actual choice not to. I always wonder what was going through his mind at the time.

2:59- Alyson’s costume was a really great way to have her end up with the same silhouette as Laurie in the first movie without having her just straight up dress like her grandma. Nice touches.

3:01- “You are so getting dry-fucked tonight” is probably one of the most wretched lines of dialogue in this franchise.

3:09- Laurie hunting for Michael is so good. She’s so fucking ruthless in this movie; she’s afraid but she’s fucking tuned in completely to her revenge hunger.

3:13- Sartain is a character I really love. The set-up is obviously that he’s Loomis 2, Laurie even refers to him as “the new Loomis”, and he reflects and subverts this in interesting ways. I like that he calls Michael “property of the state”; it’s his own way of dehumanising Michael. To him, Michael is an asset, something to be poked and prodded and studied. But of course, unlike Loomis, his obsessive interest in Michael is far more appreciative.

3:16- This film’s ability to just use silence is so good.

3:17- The first time Alyson sees Michael is incredible. The musical sting. Fuck me. God, I love this movie. And God I love this fucking soundtrack.

3:22- The twist of Sartain turning and killing the cop, protecting Michael and trying to seek out what it feels like to kill is great. Also, the way he stroked Michael’s face? I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t think they were fucking? Grow up.

3:30- I love the drama of Michael’s corpse arrangements. Back to the good old art student days, I see. He’s having a midlife crisis. Every time Laurie and Michael see each other is so fucking powerful. The connection between the two of them is so vibrant. And her shooting half his hand off? Iconic. Really excited to see how the makeup department carries that on next film.

3:39- The final showdown sequence is incredible. Laurie and Michael nearly being on equal terms sounds like it should make it boring, if she can match him hit for hit, but the film never drops a level in tension. It manages to be surprising not just for us but also for Michael, who obviously wasn’t expecting to be on the back foot with Laurie, which only makes the scene more intense.

3:42- WHY IS HE SO STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:43- The performance of Karen screaming she needs help and she can’t do it only to shoot Michael point blank and then have Laurie emerge out of the shadows the way she does is one of the best fucking moments in cinema. The three women working together to defeat Michael and kill him where he stands, absolutely kicking the shit out of him and then setting him alight is fucking incredible. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen such a triumphant fucking ending in anything. The Strode women’s win feels like such an incredible fucking win. I have no fucking idea how Halloween Kills is going to follow this up.

3:46- I love this movie. The house burning down with Michael inside it is so striking. The way fire is shot is so powerful, and the ending shot of the Strodes? With Alyson holding the knife? A perfect movie.

3:47- I have died.

[nerdwholikesword]

What If I Never Get Over You Part 2

Even though i thought this was just going to be a two part fic, ive decided to make it longer.

Next part should be up tomorrow. 

Catch up below 

Part 1 

Present Time

Y/N cant help but think back to that night as she lays watching Julia Roberts and Richard Gere fight after the Polo Match in Pretty Woman. Maybe she shouldn't have walked out on John the minute he uttered those 5 words. Maybe she should have stayed and tried to make him see sense. Who was she kidding. She could have stayed for hours begging but that stubborn old fucker had made his mind up and she was way too proud to beg someone to choose her.

After a few more days of crying and being angry at the world Y/N had to go back to work. Thank god her work place was nowhere near John. Y/N worked in a publishing house called Simon & Schuster, and even though her degree was the reason she met John but she got that job and that degree all on her own. Y/N made sure that was clear from the beginning of her relationship with John. This had apparently made her English Professor want her more and that's how this all began.

Walking into work she was greeted by her boss Sara, who on a good day wasn't very pleasant. Sara was the Editor in Chief of the publishing department so it was Y/N's job to report to Sara and acquire and read manuscripts and pass them on. But most of the time Y/N just took manuscripts off Sara and edited them to her liking and threw the not so good ones in the bin. Sara always reminded Y/N of Sandra Bullocks character in The Proposal.

" Y/N wow a week off? did somebody die?" Sara Asked, ever the optimist this woman.

"No Sara i was just very sick but i'm back and ready to be put to work. " Y/N told her in the hopes it would end the conversation.

Sara looked Y/N up and down and must have decided her answer was okay because she went straight to business and told Y/N there was 42 manuscripts waiting for her on her desk.

After a long week of working and trying to get threw 42 manuscripts Y/N was actually starting to feel okay, sure she still missed John and okay she cries every break time when shes alone but it's okay. Work will keep her busy and maybe instead of picking up just wine and ice cream at the corner store tonight on the way home Y/N would actually catch some dinner with a work colleague.  Jenny was always asking for her to have a drink every friday at the end of the day. Y/N never said yes because she always ran home to John, he never made her do it but Y/N did anyway so she could see him as soon as possible.

Y/N was walking towards the elevators to leave when she seen Jenny with a few others she had seen around the office. Now was as good as any time to build up the courage and ask Jenny if she could join. If she said no she said no, i mean Y/N did say no for 6 months. Maybe she should just go home to her wine and ice cream.

" Hey Jenny? is that invite still open? " Y/N asked walking up behind her at the elevator.

Jenny turned around and upon seeing who it was smiled. "Of course Y/N, it's about time you said yes" she told her.

***********************************************************

Y/N should have said yes to drinks and dinner with Jenny months ago, they were currently onto their 3rd cocktail and second bar of the evening and loving life. She had learned the other girls were actually really nice and not at all stuck up like  Y/N had assumed. Another of the girls, Olivia was currently going through a break up as well but unlike Y/N she was already onto the stage where she's ready to try moving on and is currently chatting up a guy at the bar. Y/N was definitely not there yet, she still had a hard time looking at the pictures of her and John in the apartment.

Y/N was feeling very buzzed and she lost count of the amount of cocktails she had and once Jenny had brought out the tequila shots that was it, she had to leave or she would be out all night. Y/N decided a uber was her safest option right now. She was standing on the corner looking at her phone waiting her the uber who was 7 minutes away. in her drunken state she thought it would be okay to ring John. Just check in with him she told herself.

So close to pressing call over the last 3 weeks now that she was actually calling him her heart was beating out of her chest. Ring..... ring..... Ring.... Hang up Y/N he's not going to  answer

He fucking answered

"Ba.. Y/N? " was he going to call her baby?

"John? "

"Yeah its me Y/N. Everything okay? its 1 in the morning" john told her his voice sounded husky like it did first thing in the morning. Y/N stop it

" erm I'm Dnunk, I mean Drunk." Shit Y/N get yourself together

" Drunk? Y/N where are you right now?" she could hear him sighing.

" I'm waiting for my Uber John, i don't have to tell yuo anything anymore " she slurred.

"you rang me baby"

"goodbye John" Y/N told him as she hung up on him. She was still baby to him, just a slip of the tongue maybe?

Her Uber driver beeped at her and that was the end of the drama. Y/N went home and found her ice cream and still ended her night crying into a pint of ice cream over John Winchester.

She fell asleep thinking one thing.

John called me Baby

*******************************************************************************************

Part 3 will be up tomorrow. 

please like and reblog.

Leave a comment and i'll be forever grateful. 

[jemej3m]

What now? (p3)

where they finally establish a routine.

Neil watched with forcefully detached disdain as Robin showed Kevin the ropes of Exy: His reluctance grew as he watched Kevin catch on straight away. Then he realised that:

a) Kevin was an incredibly quick learner, and

b) Kevin was thoroughly enjoying himself.

That meant he was most likely going to join the team. Neil stood behind the plexiglass and waited with his fingers strung together behind his head, waiting for the kids to scramble off court for a break.

He didn’t truly have anything against Kevin. It was just the idea of being forced to encounter Andrew Minyard multiple times a week and consequently being driven up the wall.

Some of the kids’ parents were hellish to deal with, yes. But none blatantly voiced their dislike of Neil, or looked at him like he’d be fun to run over.

It was between seasons: He usually did team reviews so that new kids could try out and get onto the waiting lists for the fall season next September: Then he’d form a team of those new-comers to practise together throughout the spring season, occasionally versing his league teams as practise. Right now, he was watching a bunch of kids scrimmage and cause an absolute ruckus of themselves: He always let them have a free-for-all at the end of tryouts, to work off the stress and anxiety that being tested always granted.

Parents were no longer watching avidly in the stands, instead, mingling with one another.

Neil bashed his fist against the plexiglass, waving them off the court. They filed off sullenly, packing up their things and saying goodbye to one another as they sipped on water bottles and snacked on fruits and granola bars.

Robin sidled up to him, smiling through her exhaustion. “So?”

“What.” He said, flatly.

“Can he join?” She pointed to Kevin. “He’s very good. He’s going to be better than me. Because he’s taller. I think.” She frowned.

He frowned. “He can join, if he’d like to.”

“My team?” She bounced excitedly.

He looked at her with veiled exasperation. No, he’d say for the millionth time. Teams were divided up into ages, but Robin was in 1sts, and Kevin would be placed into the newcomer’s team for the next fall season.

“Kevin! Kevin! Neil says you can join.” Robin waved the young boy over, who was aimlessly pushing hair out of his eyes as he untied his shoes. He looked up, sheepish, as he shuffled over. He’d be taller than Neil in the next few years. That wasn’t surprising: Most kids in Neil’s older teams were taller than him.

“I’d like to.” Kevin said. “But I don’t think Dad will let me.”

Neil frowned. “Why?”

“He doesn’t like you.” Kevin pouted. “Because apparently you’re an idiot.”

Neil glowered. “Is he picking you up tonight, Kevin?”

Kevin nodded.

That’s how Neil found himself marching over to Andrew Minyard’s sleek, black sport’s car, rapping harshly on the tinted glass with Kevin cowering a few feet away, and an angry little Robin at Neil’s elbow.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” The sarcastic drawl of Andrew’s voice made the hair at the back Neil’s neck stand. He felt his fingers curl against the smooth leather, hoping that his fingers scratched the stupid car and left some sort of mark on the arrogant bastard’s materialistic pride and joy.

“Whatever problem you have with me,” Neil snapped. “It’s entirely unjust to not let Kevin join the activity he wants to because of it. Grow up, pull your head out of your ass, and think about what’s the best for your child.”

Andrew gazed at him coldly and said nothing. Kevin scrambled into his father’s car, curled into the corner furthest from Neil, behind his dad.

Neil stood back, letting Andrew wind up the window. He watched as the car left.

“Will he let Kevin join the team?” Robin worried at her bottom lip with her teeth. Neil took her tiny hand in his own.

“I don’t know, Robin.” He said truthfully.

It had Andrew frothing with anger. How dare he tell Andrew what was best for his own damned kid. Like he was a better parent than Andrew, like he had more experience, like he wasn’t just as fucked up and terrified of making his own kid’s childhood hellish and continuing the cycle of abuse.

Andrew had never forbade Kevin from playing exy in the first place!

Asshole. Fuck him. Fuck him!

“Andrew, seriously. Just fuck him.” Nicky examined his nails, tutting at how he’d already chipped his manicure. “Your anger is clearly just pent-up sexual tension. When was the last time you had sex?”

“Gross.” Aaron complained through a mouthful of popcorn.

“Fuck you.” Andrew grumbled, sinking lower into his chair. It was Tuesday night, Family night, where Aaron left his white-picket-fence and perfect wife, and Nicky spent his night off. They usually did it at Nicky’s apartment, but he was in the middle of packing up to move into his boyfriend’s apartment.

Kevin was fast-asleep upstairs, having worn himself out playing that stupid sport. It might be good for him to join a team sport, Andrew considered. It would also mean he’d go to sleep easier, if he was tired. There was nothing stopping him from joining the team, except maybe Andrew had made his opinion of Neil Josten too obvious, and then Kevin had gone talking, and now he had Neil-Too-Hot-For-His-Own-Fucking-Good-Josten barking up his ass about parenting.

Fucking hell.

“He does sound like a massive asshole, though.” Nicky winked at him. “Though I’m not the one attracted to smart-mouths.”

“Fuck off, Nicky.”

“I’m trying to watch the game, here.” Aaron said, only mildly irritated. “Nicky, shut your damned mouth. Andrew, stop being such a hypocrite. Kevin, are you okay?”

Andrew shot up to look at his son, who had covertly snuck down the stairs from his room. He had a small fox plushie in his arms, his hair a wild mess. Andrew would need to cut it again soon.

“Sorry, Dad.” He curled his shoulders in. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Andrew stood immediately, ignoring Nicky as he stage whispered “God, I still can’t get over how cute that is.” He took Kevin into the kitchen and sat him on a barstool, getting cocoa out of the cupboard and milk from the fridge. Luckily, Kevin liked no sugar in his, so it wouldn’t keep him up any longer than necessary.

“Nightmare?”

Kevin shook his head.

Andrew leaned onto the counter opposite him. “Kevin, is this about Robin Josten’s father?”

“Why don’t you like him?” Kevin burst out. “I really want to play exy, and I know that there are other teams than Robin’s team, but I liked playing with Robin, and there are other kids from school on the team, but you don’t like him, so -”

“Kevin.” Andrew said, calmly. “You can join Robin’s team. I would never stop you from doing so. It’s the most localised team anyway, and they’re very good.”

“But why don’t you like Coach Josten?” Coach Josten, oh my god. Andrew had a sudden, inappropriate mental image of Neil Josten in small running shorts and a low-cut tank top. Jesus Christ.

“When you and Robin were fighting at school, her father and I weren’t very friendly to one another.” Andrew put his entwined hands under his chin. “I just wanted to protect you from someone who was being mean to you. But if you and Robin are friends, I’ll try and get along with her father for you.”

Kevin sipped on his hot cocoa. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Andrew stood up. “Okay. Good. Did Robin’s father say how to apply for the team?”

“His name is Neil.” Kevin supplied, unhelpfully.

“Right.” Andrew said, drily. “Fantastic.”

So much for avoiding the fucker.

The South Carolina Exy League, who had ordained Neil as the Exy junior’s coach, owned Columbia’s court and had provided him with a small office on the second floor of the facility. It was a really nice court, which was well-kept, the expenditures mostly from the adult’s league. Neil’s office was just as well-kept, though that was out of his own pocket. It meant the funds for the kids’ teams could be kept to the minimum, so he didn’t mind.

Usually people knocked at his door when it was closed, so when the door banged open, Neil was already expecting the worst.

Andrew threw the application papers onto Neil’s desk. The suit blazer was tight across broad shoulders, and everything about him screamed expensive, down to the shine of his shoes. He must have presented in court.

“Fuck my son around and I’ll kill you.” Andrew warned. “Don’t tell me how to fucking parent, either.”

Neil huffed. “Fabulous impression that you’re giving off here.”

He pointed at Neil. “Don’t test me.” The door slammed behind him.

Well. That was that.

lmao what a mess

[ramblinganthropologist]

Dragon Age 100 - 5 (Light)

Summary: Haven sucks and the newly minted Herald Kaaras Adaar is at the end of his rope. Luckily, there’s someone there to pull him back from the edge and remind him the wonder of self care. Family’s great like that. (Inquisition.)

---

“I believe that will handle business for today.”

Fucking good.

Kaaras' entire body ached as he stood up from his spot at the impromptu war table. Spread out in front of him were numerous pins stuck to the map of Ferelden, all of them someplace he needed to be or something that needed doing. They were growing by the day as more people heard about this nightmare freak show people were calling the Inquisition. Apparently, they were gaining a reputation for getting the job done.

“Herald, you have been quiet today.”

His insides twisted. The voice belonged to Cassandra-way-too-many-names, a Seeker and major pain in the ass. Back when they had first met, she had shouted at him and even hit him once before dragging them both out to the ass end of hell itself. It hadn't exactly created a first impression, and that was without all the demons pouring out of holes in the sky. The fact she refused to call him by his own damn name didn't help matters either. No matter what, she didn't seem to get he wasn't fucking Andrastian.

Or maybe she was trying to convert him. It wasn't working.

It was hard to think of words – exhaustion coursed through his entire body as he resisted the urge to stretch tired muscles. When was the last time he had slept, or eaten for that matter? He couldn't even remember the last time he had had something to drink, and he felt it in his dry lips and parched throat. Wasn't much time for that with having to run all over Ferelden chasing leads and killing Templars.

“Not a lot to say, Cassandra. You've all got this handled.”

Next to him, the Inquisition's ambassador was still writing. Once she glanced up at him, eyes concerned. He liked Josephine about as much as he could like anyone in this hell party. She was nice, and more importantly she asked if he could do something before she gave it to him. Everyone else just barked orders. Talk about rude.

“Are you sure, Kaaras? You look tired. Is your hand bothering you?”

Yes. Yes it was. The damn thing refused to shut up during the night when he tried to catch a few hours of sleep. Every time he tried, it pulsed green light and shot pain through his entire left side. On bad nights, it kept him gasping and clutching at his thin, too small sheet as he all but rolled onto the floor. It was more comfortable down there anyway, given how small the damn bed was.  But hey, it closed rifts so that was good enough for the torture, right?

He allowed a tired smile that he didn't really mean. “I'm getting used to it, Josephine. Don't worry about me.”

She didn't look too convinced, and if he hadn't been stuck in the middle of nowhere he would have appreciated it more. The woman was lovely, it was just bad circumstances that had shoved them together. Maybe in different light, they would've been just fine. However, she was attached to the Inquisition and thus put him on edge.

“You should rest.” Leliana, shadowy and creepy in the way a good spymaster should have been, was rolling up her notes. She had spent most of the meeting arguing with their commander – something he was glad for. He hated the fucker and his attempts to oust him hadn't worked. “Your control of the anchor only grows worse with exhaustion.”

It was a blunt statement he couldn't deny. Kaaras' shoulders sagged as he managed a brief nod. Sure, he would try – but there was no guarantee it would work. Even if he did, sleep was no better. Lately all he got in his fitful rests were endless nightmares of glowing green apparitions that chased him in the darkness. They were growing closer by the night, as if they were closing in on him. What would happen when they caught him, he didn't want to know. Maybe he would just die in his sleep.

It was bad, but that almost felt comforting to think it could end. Talk about a light at the end of the tunnel.

Outside it was cold and snow had freshly fallen on the ground in patches. The rest was all gray sludge or mud, trampled by countless feet that swarmed Haven like a hive. Kaaras walked a familiar path, head down. Right then, he probably couldn't have handled a conversation.

His stomach ached dully – a reminder he hadn't eaten. It matched tempo with his pounding head and aching body. He felt like one big bruise in various stages of healing, and if someone were to press down he would feel it even worse. Plenty of people needed – even wanted- to do so those days. It was like they didn't even care about him.

Of course they didn't – all they wanted was his fucking hand.

Kaaras had a small room to himself off to the side. The key clicked in the lock when he threaded it through, and he sighed as he fell onto his bed. All he had left was the energy to take off his boots and jacket – forget his binder. He had lost track of how long he had been wearing it. Who cared about his ribs right then anyway? Certainly not him as he curled up to fit onto the bed, too tired to arrange his blanket on the floor to seek out a bit more comfort.

At first, he would cry himself to sleep. Lately, he was out of tears to do that. So he just  lay there, feeling his body pulse and throb. In the morning they would probably send him to some ass end of Ferelden again. Then, who knows. They were talking about heading out to fucking Orlais – Orlais of all places! - next. Just thinking of it made him want to cry, but instead he closed his eyes and prayed to the Creators for sleep.

They didn't answer. He was beginning to think they had forgotten him too.

Kaaras wasn't sure how long he lay there, feeling his body ache. Maybe it was hours. Whatever it was, he was suddenly roused to wakefulness by the sound of commotion coming from outside. Guards were shouting, and they sounded pissed.

“Stop right there! Identify yourself!”

“Get fucked, Templar, you're lucky I didn't fry you. Now tell me where the fuck he is.”

There was the sound of metal hitting a wall at a fast pace. It was close. Someone let out a strangled gasp as the deep-voiced man held them probably against a wall. Pure fury dripped from every word they spoke.

They... they were Dalish.

Kaaras sat up, eyes wide as he stared at the door. Logic had abandoned him in the fleeting hope of a rescue. He would have thought he was dreaming, but his hand decided to pulse. It was a painful reminder that all of this was real, strange as it was.

“O-over there.”

The metal hit the ground. Silence echoed across Haven as footprints approached his door. It was locked, but that didn't matter. A familiar sound of scraping metal tools against the lock was his world right then. Just a little more to the left and it would open.

The lock clicked softly and the door swung open. Standing on the other side, armed to the teeth, was a qunari. He barely fit into the door as he strode through, broad shoulders cloaked in dark leather of Dalish make. His face was unmarked, but his jewelry and bearing could have only marked him as one of the People – a very tall member. He had to be 6'8, maybe even close to 7 feet tall. His purple eyes focused on him, and then they widened.

“Shit, Kaas.”

Akri had grown since Kaaras had last seen him. And... apparently gone to the wild side if his spiky hair and facial piercings had anything to go by. His body language was rage and annoyance, so different from the young man he had left behind. What had happened to him since they had last met?

“What the fuck did they do to you?”

A female voice sounded from his shoulders. Kaaras' eyes traveled up – someone was sitting on his brother's shoulder. She too was Dalish, with red hair and tattoos to Mythal inked into her skin. He knew that slight frame and bright green eyes anywhere, though. Those hadn't changed much over the years, even if she was apparently now an adult.

Jackel was soon at his side, Akri not far behind. They were soon squeezing him hard, almost enough to compress his aching ribs to the point of breaking. It didn't matter though – tears were soon trickling down Kaaras' face as he hugged both of them for dear life. They were real, and they had come for him after all.

“It's gonna be ok, Kaas. We'll get you out of here.” Akri's deep voice rumbled as he squeezed tighter. “No fucking shems are going to hold you if we have something to say about it.”

Jackel had settled onto his shoulders, still weighing about as much as two grapes. “Who's in charge here anyway and where do they sleep? We need to have a talk.”

At this, Kaaras let out a bitter laugh and felt his shoulders sag, taking his cousin with him. Here was the cruelest fact of all, the one he had been trying to avoid since it had begun. Speaking it would only make him feel worse, but they needed to know.

“Technically I think it might be me.”

He held out his hand, glowing palm on full display. “I'm in really deep, you two.”

Just then in pulsed and sent out fire. Akri's eyes were as large as dinner plates as he watched. No doubt he was running through every spell he knew and then some. Maybe the Dalish had something, because the humans didn't. They had run every test on him and found nothing. It closed rifts and hurt – that was their conclusion.

“I'm going to murder someone.” Jackel's voice was a solemn vow as she looked over at Akri. “Write Mamae. Maybe she'll know.”

“Already working on how to describe it.” He frowned, piercings moving with him. “But before that, we gotta get Kaas back to eating and sleeping. You look like shit, bro.”

Always the blunt one, and yet Kaaras found himself chuckling. It turned into a full laugh that scraped his insides of a lot of the bullshit that had been building up over the last few months. Where there had only been despair, now there was the slightest bit of hope.

They cared about him. Someone fucking cared.

Jackel patted him on the head, right above his horn. “Nobody's gonna fuck with you tonight, Kaas. We'll make sure of that.”

Oh, and Kaaras was surer than anything of that. For the first time since he had woken up in the dark, he wasn't afraid. Well, that wasn't accurate – he was still scared shitless, but it was easier to handle it with family by his side. They had his back, even in the midst of utter bullshit. Maybe that was why his eyes started to flutter and ache for closing. At last, his body was shutting down.

“I got you, Kaas. Don't worry about it.”

That was the last thing Kaaras heard before he gave himself over to strong arms and the lure of sleep. Even in the mist of cold Haven, he was warm. That alone put a smile on his face as he fell into a thankfully dreamless slumber. Maybe they would keep the demons at bay for him. If they did, he might sleep after all.

---

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Leliana's mouth was in a thin line, and Cassandra looked ready to throw something. Next to them, Josephine looked perfectly calm as she peered into the room that their Herald normally occupied on his own. Apparently, he had guests.

They were all on the floor on a makeshift pile of blankets. Kaaras was in the center, face peaceful as he was lost in a dream. Haven's two intruders flanked him on either side, the smaller elf all but throwing herself over him like a makeshift blanket. The other qunari was close by, one arm wrapped around the Herald. Neither looked like they were about to be moved.

“The bigger one is a mage. He blasted through the defenses the little one couldn't pick.” Leliana was still doing recon. “They're both Dalish.”

Cassandra's tone was flat. “I can see that.”

“Perhaps they are his family? Kaaras had mentioned he was Dalish.” Apparently, Josephine was the only one to remember things. “They do resemble each other... maybe he asked them to join them in Haven?”

If they were able to slip past defenses, perhaps they would be useful additions to the Inquisition. They could always use more mages, and Leliana had been complaining she needed better agents. There were plenty of places for them to support the Herald should they choose to stay.

And judging from the grip, they were.

Their voices roused the smaller one. One large green eye fluttered open and locked into a death glare. She had a knife in her hand, from where Josephine had no idea. She took a step back as Cassandra stiffened and Leliana reached for her bow. This was... not ideal close quarters.

“You're all fucked when Kaas wakes up.” Her voice was thick with sleep as she cuddled closer to Kaaras. “Now fuck off he hasn't slept in days because of you people.”

“Fuck off, shems.” the qunari echoed, not even opening his eyes. The air still tingled with electricity, however – he might not have been looking, but he was aiming just fine. Josephine certainly got the message, and luckily so did her companions. They shut the door behind them and backed away.

Later, when the Herald was awake, this would need to be discussed. However, if they managed to get him to sleep she couldn't see harm in letting them stay. Really, that was the first time she had seen the qunari look so peaceful. And realizing that was... unpleasant.

Even more unpleasant? Dealing with the Inquisition's forces later. After all, they had been blitzed by two lone agents. That was just embarrassing, but it technically wasn't her department. That one was on Cullen.

Maybe Kaaras had been onto something about his removal...