#apparently my idiot fucking brother that i broke off contact with had a heart attack

[nagdabbit]

last night was a lot

[we-are-inevitable]

love and it’s decisive pain

Prompt: "Could you make a modern spin where javid is established but they are hiding it at first. And David’s parents find them and tease them cause they knew already?" (i had to repost this and can’t remember who sent this ask, but thank you!)

Rating: M (for good measure)

Warnings: Mentions of violence and homophobia (to third party, unnamed characters), vague NSFW concepts, coming out anxiety. feel free to message me if i need to put any other trigger warnings, and i will gladly do so!

Word Count: 2,364

Read on AO3! Fic under the cut.

The decision to never come out was something that David had made peace with long ago.

He had been fourteen when he made the vow. Fourteen and vulnerable. Naive. At first, he had wanted to come out. He had known something was different about him, since the first time he heard Sarah talk about a boy she liked, and realized that what she was describing- what she felt for a guy in her class- was the same way that he felt about guys, too. At the time, he had been twelve, just now starting to realize that liking guys was even an option- and apparently, it was the only option that he saw fit for himself.

At age twelve, David realized he liked men. 

At age thirteen, David realized he liked only men. 

At fourteen, David realized he was in love with his best friend who had just moved to the school.

David had thought about the possibility of bringing it up to his parents, but he had never found the right time, never found the right way to say it. He had even considered trying to tell Sarah first, or maybe even Les, but he figured that Les was too young and Sarah just wouldn’t understand that her baby brother was anything other than straight. Nonetheless, David had made… a plan, per se, of just how he was going to do it. He had written it out and everything- he was going to wait until he left for school one day, maybe kiss his Ma on the forehead and give his Dad a goodbye hug. Then, he was going to walk to the door, yell, “Hey, I’m gay!”, and take off like a shot down the flight of stairs in their apartment building.

It was a plan. He never claimed it was good.

But that was before he saw just what could happen if he did. He saw a news report, of a couple being attacked on the subway for daring to be brave enough to hold hands in public. He remembered seeing the pictures on the TV, seeing the bruises and the bloody noses, and that struck enough fear into his heart that he had resigned himself to being alone. He would lurk in the shadows. Give his unconditional love and support to others. He would be the best damn ally he could be, but after seeing the pain, the heartbreak, the fear in the faces of the men on the TV that night, he knew his choice was the right one. He wouldn’t be able to survive if something like that happened to him.

He had successfully made it three years without anyone knowing the biggest secret of his life. Not even his closest friends knew, even though most of them were in the community themselves. It wasn’t as though he didn’t trust them- no, no, he trusted each of them with his life. Crutchie, Race, Albert, and Elmer, along with many others, had already told him that they would take care of him if anything ever happened. It had been joking, but David didn’t doubt their loyalty for a minute.

But then there was Jack. 

Jack, the guy that David had been crushing on for three years.

Jack, the guy who had the most intense stare, most beautiful smile, most effective puppy dog eyes, most lovely laugh and talent and, God, David could listen to him talk, listen to his accent, for hours on end.

It was Jack that had caused his crisis, who had been the guy behind the story, the guy he wanted to come out for. He remembered the night that Jack told him he was bi, a conversation that had happened at four in the morning one summer night when they were both sixteen. Oh, how Davey longed to tell Jack then. How he longed to lean over, gently cup his cheek and kiss the worries and insecurities out of him. 

Instead, he had just reassured Jack that he didn’t care, that he would always be safe with him, and that he was always there if Jack needed to talk.

They had been in a similar situation about a year later. Another late night, safe on Jack’s fire escape, where they had been for hours watching the sunset and idly talking about the people that passed on the streets below. Jack had kitted it out with everything- some christmas lights wrapped around the railings, two thick blankets laid out on the floor and an old-fashioned radio playing some music behind them. In a way, that fire escape felt more like home than any other place on earth.

It was everything that David had ever dreamed of.

They had gotten pretty silent, but it was a comfortable drop in conversation as they both watched the bustling streets of New York. It was Jack who broke it eventually, taking in a deep breath as he looked down. “‘Ey, Dave?” “Yeah, Jackie?” David asked softly, pushing himself up from his back. He stopped about halfway, kicking his long legs out in front of him, braced on his palms. 

“You… You  know how I told ya, that I’m into dudes?” Jack approached the subject carefully. Davey gulped. His mind immediately went somewhere bad- that Jack had a boyfriend, that Jack had found out that he really only liked women, that Jack had been... hurt. “Well, I-... There’s a guy,” Jack started, and Davey could see him tapping a familiar rhythm onto his knee. Jack did that when he was anxious. “And, well- I like ‘im. A lot. But… But I dunno if he’s into guys, and even if he is, I don’t think I’m the kind’a fella he would like--”

“Are you kidding?”

“Huh?”

“Jack,” David said with a sad grin, furrowing a brow. “Any guy would have to be crazy not to like you back. I mean, have you seen yourself? You’re hot,” David said with a soft laugh, gently nudging Jack’s shoulder with a fist. “Plus, you’re talented. You’re crazy good at art, you can sing and play guitar, you’re wicked smart. Unless a guy just wasn’t into smartasses, I don’t get why anyone wouldn’t be into you,” David joked softly, but every word was the truth. He didn’t understand why Jack was so insecure, why he was so self deprecating, but he knew it had been something he had struggled with for a long time.

“...For sure?” Jack asked, his voice smaller than David had ever heard it. “Jackie, I wouldn’t lie to ya,” He said with a grin. “Everything I said is true, y’know. You’re an amazing man, any guy would be lucky to--”

David was cut off with hands fisting his shirt and dragging him into a kiss.

Time stopped for a moment.

David could feel his eye’s widening, could feel his heart pounding, mind racing a mile a minute. He must have froze, because suddenly, all too suddenly, Jack was pulling away with a flushed face and a look of terror in his eyes. “Fuck, Dave, I’m so sorry, I didn’t--” He cut himself off with a deep breath, immediately turning away from David to face the New York skyline yet again.

David took in a shuddering breath a few moments later. “...Jack, you idiot,” He muttered, and Jack winced, turning to apologize yet again, until Davey pulled him in for another kiss. This time, he was in control. The kiss was soft, hesitant at first, until the both of them got confident enough to take it to the next level.

David had his arms wrapped around Jack’s waist, the angle a bit awkward, until Jack had fixed it by moving to sit in David’s lap. That was when it hit David that this was real. He was kissing Jack Kelly, and Jack Kelly was kissing back.

After that night, they kept things lowkey. David still wasn’t ready to come out to the guys, which Jack understood wholeheartedly. Their relationship may have been a secret, but it didn’t mean tht they didn’t like it. No, sneaking around was fun. Making out in the school bathroom, going on dates disguised as hangouts, even being there for each other on their eighteenth birthdays was something so much more magical than anyone knew. 

They lived in that bubble of safety until they finally told the guys the night after their high school graduation. They had been together for close to a year that night, and it just felt right. All of them were together, hanging out in the park and discussing the crazy graduation parties that had happened the night before. Something must have lit a fire in David, because Jack made eye contact with him as Race was telling a story, and David kissed him in front of everyone else. They had to fess up- after Race finished his agonizingly long story, of course- but David had never felt happier.

That next week, David was riding the high of finally making it. He had a boyfriend, he was officially moving on to college in the fall, and he was finally, finally safe and accepted.

Until that next Friday came along.

David had thought that they had the apartment to themselves. Jack had even climbed through the window for good measure, but David knew that his parents were going on a weekend getaway in Boston, and Les would be at a friend’s house until Sunday, so he didn’t think to lock the door.

It started out as cuddling and watching some old western movie that Jack had fallen in love with, before cuddling turned to kissing, and kissing turned to David pressing Jack down against the bed as he nipped and sucked dark marks onto the tan skin of Jack’s neck. Jack was a blushing mess, murmuring soft pleas as his hands carded through Davey’s dark hair. “Davey, baby, come on, stop teasin’,” Jack muttered pitifully, eyes shutting, before they suddenly flew wide open at the sound of David’s bedroom door opening. “David, we just came back because your father forgot his wallet, and-- Oh, my good Lord!”

The door was shut just as fast as it had opened, and David was so thankful that they were still clothed, until he realized what had just happened. 

He could feel himself visibly paling as he launched away from Jack, hurrying to stand up. “Oh, fuck, oh, fuck--”

“Babe, babe, calm down, it’s--”

Jack didn’t have time to say another word before David was already out the door and down the hall.

“Ma!” David said quickly, chest heaving as he came to a standstill in the living room. He was red faced in shame, and could already feel the tears welling in his eyes. “Ma, it- it’s not what it looks like!” He rushed out, gulping when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw Jack, looking just as scared as he did, as he desperately buttoned his flannel to try to cover the marks. “We-- I didn’t-- I thought- Ma, I’m not--” “David.”

David went silent, staring at the floor with wide eyes, refusing to meet his mother's gaze. He vaguely registered his father coming into the room, who stopped mid sentence when he saw Jack and his son.

David could feel his world crumbling, but then he felt Jack’s hand gently grab his, ever so slightly intertwining their fingers. He glanced over at Jack with wide eyes, who looked at him and gave a gentle nod, taking a deep breath. 

Slowly, David looked back up, gulping. “...Mama, Dad, Jack and I--” “We know, dear.” 

“You-- You know?”

David finally took a good look at them. His father was standing behind his mother, a strong hand on her shoulder, but they didn’t look… angry. Or upset. Instead, they were smiling at him. “David, hunny, we’ve known for years. We… found a note that you had written- something or another, of how you wanted to tell us. At- At first, we were… shocked. We didn’t really know what to do, so we decided to wait it out until you told us yourself, we just didn’t expect it to take four years,” Esther added with a gentle laugh.

“It didn’t shock us to find out you were with Jack, either,” Mayer noted, glancing between the two boys. “Jack, you spend an awful lot of time at our house, more than any of the other boys. As long as you don’t intend on hurting our son, you’re part of this family, too.”

That was David’s breaking point.

He couldn’t hold in the sob that rose up from his chest, and though the Jacobs family had never been the most physically affectionate, David found himself running across the room. He pulled his mother into a tight hug, crying softly into her shoulder, and he took in a deep, shuddering breath as she rubbed his back. He pulled away and wiped his eyes, only to be pulled into another hug by Mayer, which was a shocking moment in itself.

One of them must have gestured to Jack to come closer, too, because when David looked over, Esther had him wrapped into a tight hug. David stepped away, and watched with a fond smile as Jack shook his father's hand.

Things seemed to calm down after that, though David still had watery eyes, but he couldn’t help the immense joy that flooded his chest. He gulped and wrapped an arm around Jack’s waist, who in turn began rubbing his back.

“Like I said,” Mayer spoke firmly, “take good care of our boy. Now, we have a reservation at the hotel to meet by midnight, so we should get going,” He said, looking down at Esther, who nodded. 

They said their last goodbyes, but just as the door closed, it opened again. Esther poked her head in and grinned. “One more thing- use protection!” She said quickly, before the door shut with a final click.

David would have been mortified, if not for the bright laughter that bubbled out from the boy beside him. 

Yeah, this was a happiness he could get used to, he thought as he pulled Jack in for another kiss. 

[inimitble]

ENDGAME  SPOILERS  UNDER  THE  CUT.

i  cannot  believe  that  tony  becomes  the  parent  of  four  kids:  harley,  peter,  nebula  and  morgan.      but  he’s  such  a  good  father  and  the  brief  respite  he  got  to  have,  those  five  years  where  he  was  just  tony,  husband  and  father,  means  so  much  to  me.

honestly,  after  seeing  each  other  after  so  long,  the  fact  that  steve  was  right  there  to  support  him  and  he  talked  about  how  “he  lost  the  kid”  and  just ...  their  relationship  means  so  much  to  me.     rewinding  a  little,  i  full - blown  believe  that  steve  shaved  for  tony  and  you  can  pry  that  headcanon  from  my  cold  fingers.

if  anyone  thinks  that  tony’s  reaction  to  seeing  all  the  faces  of  the  vanished  and  everything  he  said  after  “ i  needed  you.  past tense, “  was  harsh  or  that  he  was  overreacting,  i  dare  you  imagine  doing  better.     you  just  watched  a  child  you  care  for  crumble  in  your  arms.      you  spent  days  in  a  ship,  malnourished,  fully  prepared  to  die.     and  then  you  come  back  and  the  man  who  betrayed  you  the  most  is  standing  right  there  asking  you  for  information,  somewhat  drilling  you  because  of  the  mission.      he  wasn’t  given  any  time  to  rest,  may  not  have  even  wanted  to,  but  the  fact  is,  steve  lied  to  tony  about  his  parents  and  they  hadn’t  seen  each  other  in  years  and  he  deserved  to  be  able  to  share  his  thoughts.      (  i’m  so  glad  that  my  steve  is  canon - divergent  and  doesn’t  lie  and  civil  war  happens  for  different  reasons.  )     (  but  please  believe  that  the  mcu  steve  and  my  steve  probably  feel  guilty  about  not  being  there  for  the  events  of  iron  man  3  too.  )

there  was  something  satisfying  about  seeing  thanos  get  his  head  cut  off.      and  i  have  to  say  that  nebula’s  closing  his  eyes  and  bowing  her  head  is  very  synonymous  with  how  gaea  feels  about  her  own  father.      she  understands  that  what  was  done  to  her  was  wrong,  or  at  least  is  coming  to  grips  with  it,  but  there’s  still  that  respect  and  those  feelings  of  having  wanted  to  please.    i  won’t  say  love  because,  as  gamora  said,  ‘this  isn’t  love.’

i  love  the  idea  of  steve  being  in  a  support  group,  or  leading  one.      it’s  kind  of  like  a  homage  to  sam  and  it  just  shows  that  how  caring  he  is.     he  could  have  gone  and  done  the  same  work  rhodey,  carol,  okoye,  rocket  and  nebula  were  doing,  keeping  an  eye  on  the  world  and  still  fighting.      but  instead,  he  decided  to  help  people  acclimate,  despite  his  own  guilt  and  the  fact  that  he  never  would.

seeing  nat  get  teary  about  clint  made  me  think  that  she  was  trying  to  come  to  grips  with  the  idea  of  taking  him  down  or  just  the  fact  that  she  had  been  able  to  give  him  that  hope  sooner  and  honestly,  their  friendship  gives  me  so  many  emotions.      everyone’s  did,  though  i  wish  there  had  been  more  interactions.     i  don’t  care  if  the  movie  would  have  been  longer.

fuck  me  up  with  dad!tony.      what  do  i  even  say?  he’s  a  fantastic  father,  you  can  see  it,  you  can  feel  it,  in  how  he  interacts  with  morgan  and  how  she  interacts  with  him.      his  priorities  are  his  family  and  that  will  never  be  wrong.     and  considering  what  happens  later,  he’s  not  selfish.      there’s  something  in  him  that  pushes  him  to  do  something  if  he  can  and  his  initial  reaction  is  all  too  real.      i  would  say  no  too  if  it  meant  the  possibility  of  losing  my  family.

this  may  not  be  the  post  for  this  but  i  like  the  idea  of  them  staying  for  lunch  and  not  talking  shop.      it  may  be  stilted  because  steve  and  tony  haven’t  fully  reconciled  yet  but  it’s  fine.     more  family  scenes!     more  love!

professor  hulk!     i’m  glad  we  got  to  see  them  come  together  although  i  wanted  more  concrete  reason  as  to  why  hulk  didn’t  show  up.     i  guess  i’ll  have  to  read  one  of  the  articles  about  it.      but  i  think  it  was  nice  that  he  was  no  longer  so  feared  (  i  didn’t  ship  hulktasha  but  dude,  you  did  it,  got  control;  you  could  have  been  having  and  tapping  that --- )

as  always,  paul  rudd  is  a  win.

curse  the  russo  brothers  for  not  giving  us  the  hug  that  we  deserved  when  steve  and  tony  reconciled.      a  handshake?     really??     this  is  why  we  have  to  go  to  the  cartoon  to  get  that  sweet,  sweet  content  we  deserve.     one  more  thing  i  have  changed  in  my  head.

i  love  nebula  and  i  love  them  all  staying  in  contact  with  each  other  and  yes,  more  friendships,  more  camaraderie,  give  me  everything.      she  didn’t  have  to  say  a  dang  thing  to  rhodey  but  taking  the  time  to  say  that  there  was  an  idiot  just ...      i  love  her.

i  have  mixed  feelings  about  what  they  did  to  thor.      on  the  one  hand,  it  makes  absolute  sense.     the  events  of  ragnorak  and  infinity  war  happen  back  to  back,  which  means  he  loses  his  father,  finds  out  he  has  a  sister,  has  to  kill  her  and  loses  his  home  in  the  process,  loses  half  of  his  people  and  then  watches  his  brother  die.      and  then,  he  doesn’t  get  to  avenge  loki’s  death  nor  does  he  get  to  help  bring  everyone  back.      i  think  i  would  do  worse  than  be  a  depressed  drunk  who  binge  eats.     and  i  like  the  fact  that  despite  all  that,  despite  how  low  he  got,  he  was  still  worthy.      that  means  a  lot  to  me.     i  didn’t  enjoy  him  being  the  comic  relief  so  much  though.

on  the  other  hand,  the  team  handled  it  so  well  that  again,  they  are  a  family  and  they  didn’t  write  him  off,  they  still  gave  him  chances  and  were  there  for  him.

i  don’t  know  much  about  clint  /  ronin  but  i  came  into  the  movie  like,  he  probably  lost  his  entire  family,  and  then  had  to  watch  it  so  yeah,  i’d  be  fucked  up  too.

i’m  still  trying  to  come  to  grips  to  how  the  endgame  time  travel  rules  work  so  look  forward  to  me  making  a  post  about  that.

the  way  that  tony  looks  at  steve  when  he’s  giving  his  speech  is  so  gay,  tell  me  otherwise;  i  ship  it  so  much  and  i  am  pissed  they  didn’t  hug  at  all;  damn  you,  russo  brothers!

and  then  his  comments  about  steve’s  ass  and  scott  saluting  it,  what  cinema  gold.      you  can  pry  tony  not  lusting  after  steve  even  in  mcu  canon  and  steve  not  lusting  after  himself  (  that  is  america’s  ass  )  also  from  my  cold  hands.      fuel  for  my  steve  being  bi.

peggy  looked  damn  good  for being  25  years  older  than  she  was  in  the  first  avenger.      and  i  do enjoy  steggy  but  let’s  be  real,  stucky  and  stony  have  much  more  material.      he  may  always  carry  her  picture  in  his  compass  but  he  has  spent  more  time  with  the  most  important  men  in  his  life.

i  don’t  support  tony  forgiving  his  dad  just  like  that.     the  abuse  he  suffered  from  him  isn’t  conveyed  in  the  mcu  as  much  as  in  the  comics.     if  anything,  i  think  i  would  have  enjoyed  it  more  if  he  had  run  into  his  mother.     fuck  howard  stark.      i  doubt  tony  would  actually  look  back  and  ‘only  see  the  good  things,’  dead  or  not.

these  next  two  things  may  be  out  of  order  but  god,  i  feel  for  nebula  so  much.     she  had  so  much  of  her  humanity  (  alienality?  )  stripped  from  her  and  it’s  one  thing  to  have  to  suffer  that  pain  and  never  feel  like  enough  but  it’s  another  to  have  that  used  against  you,  to  the  point  the  entire  mission  is  compromised.      with  no  one  else  knowing  it.

fuck  vormir.      fuck  the  soul  stone.     everything  about  that  scene  absolutely  ruined  me.      they’ve  been  through  so  much  and  you  can  tell  how  they’re  each  other’s  family,  siblings,  and  i  just  knew  there  was  no  way  she  was  going  to  let  laura  be  a  widow  and  his  children  live  without  him.      also,  having  her  in  the  same  position  as  gamora  with  red  blood  beneath  her  head.      fuck  that  entire  scene.

thor  broke  my  heart  when  he  grabbed  tony  and  was  like,  ‘ let  me  do  something  good. ‘     but  they  were  right,  bruce  was  right  to  do  it  because  no  one  else  could  and  would  be  able  to  make  it  through.     in  mcu  canon,  apparently.

the  big  three  had  big  dick  energy  approaching  thanos  and  everything  from  here  on  out  may  just  be  me  fangirling  until ...  the  end.

i  loved  age  of  ultron  because  of  all  the  team  attacks  and  being  able  to  see  some  attacks  again,  showing  they’ve  fought  together  and  trained  together  was  just,  GOD,  amazing.

steve  holding  mjolnir.      STEVE AND FUCKING  MJOLNIR.     he  is  such  a  strategist  and  again,  he  has  watched  and  trained  with  thor  so  he  knew  what  he  was  doing.      him  calling  down  fucking  lightning  though;  i  was  like,  fuck  me  up,  i  love  one  man  and  i  need  you  to  marry  me  to  take  me  in  this  theater ---

that’s  my  man.     his  teammates  are  down.     for  all  he  knows,  bruce,  clint,  nebula,  rhodey  and  rocket  are  all  dead.     but  still  steve  walked.      because  he  wasn’t  going  to  run.     he  was  going  to  die  fighting.      and  then  fucking  sammy ---

i  just  have  no  words  for  everyone  showing  up.     no  words  but  the  ones  i  yelled  when  everyone  else  was  screaming:  FUCK  YES.      god,  i  got  chills  the  entire  time  and  it  was  so  amazing.

OKAY  LADIES  NOW  LET’S  GET  IN  FORMATION.      it  sucks  that  there  are  so  few  and  that  they  killed  our  main  squeeze  and  i’m  never  going  to  be  okay  about  it  but  seeing  them  come  together  and  get  shit  done.

carol  danvers  deserved  better.     and  more  screen  time.     and  this  is  out  of  order  but  i’m  happy  to  at  least  say  that  the  two  times  thanos  played  dirty  was  when  he  was  up  against  wanda  and  carol.       what  queens.

i  just ...  i  knew  we  were  going  to  lose  one  of  them.      but  seeing  it  is  utterly  different  than  just  saying,  this  is  probably  going  to  happen.      peter  calling  him  tony.     pepper  telling  them  they  were  going  to  be  okay  and  he  can  rest  now.      NOPE.      i  actually  cannot  bring  myself  to  talk  about  this  anymore.     it’s  still  too  fresh.

whether  or  not  steve  deserved  that  ending  isn’t  the  thing.      it’s  that  it  goes  against  everything  they’ve  been  showing  us  of  him  through  the  movies.      that  someone  else  came  out  of  the  ice.     steve  rogers  is  not  the  type  of  man  that  would  go  back  and  be  with  her  knowing  she  has  such  a  fulfilling  life  with  a  husband  and  children.      i  don’t  even  know  if  he  would  go  back  and  have  that  dance  with  her,  if  it  meant  messing  up  her  future.

but  that’s  why  i  have  so  much  work  to  do.

[sage-nebula]

Mystic Messenger - Entry 10

After a brief hiatus, here we are once again with my Mystic Messenger playthrough. Of course, by this point I have finished the game (and then some), but since people seemed to be enjoying these liveblogs, I figured I’d go ahead and continue posting them anyway. Entry Nine is here, and as a quick recap---

Previously on Mystic Messenger:

Everyone is aware that the special security system in Rika’s apartment is a bomb, installed there by Seven on V’s and Rika’s orders.

We had a flashback sequence to the day Rika had Seven install the bomb, which included a lot of emotional abuse and manipulation on her part.

Seven is still ignoring me, and was doing a good job of it until MC decided to look at a book he had brought with him, which contained a floppy disc that he did not want MC to see. This led to an argument (at least in my rewrite of that scene), and so far, relations have not improved.

So with that little recap out of the way . . .

If you’ll remember, everyone is trying to get in touch with V at the moment, because V’s actions and motivations have become highly suspicious ever since the hacker broke into the apartment, the bomb was discovered, and Seven revealed that he installed the bomb on V’s and Rika’s orders. V, if you’ll recall, is off gallivanting who-knows-where, last we heard. Seven has left him messages, Jumin has left him messages, and now Jaehee is waiting for V’s phone call on Jumin’s orders, despite the late hour. As much as it sucks for Jaehee to have to wait for V’s phone call like this, I will say that the amount of trust and faith that Jumin places in her is sweet. He’s being sweet in his own way.

Although, at least she isn’t alone.

Poor Jaehee. Also poor sales department intern, because I’m sure that falling for Han Jumin can’t be easy due to the fact that he is ace af and doesn’t seem to develop romantic feelings for others very easily (if at all). 

Anyway, Jumin obviously turned down Jaehee’s offer, because she’s the only one he trusts to take V’s call. It makes sense, honestly, since none of the other C&R employees are members of the RFA, as Jaehee is. Either way, Elizabeth the 3rd was there with him, much to Jaehee’s dismay since Elizabeth was shedding everywhere, and---

Jumin is a fucking furry, pt. 3.

V did finally end up calling at the end of this VNM segment, much to Jaehee’s relief. And after he finished talking with Jaehee and Jumin, V . . .

. . . decided to enter the chat at long last. Also, I found it funny how he added an exclamation mark after “you’re here” like he was super excited to see me. Like, are you, V? We’ve spoken a grand total of one (1) time. Are you really that excited to see me?

Someone else is just as eager to see V (and he seems excited to see Seven as well, but . . .), but . . . not quite in the happy way. I also love how Seven was so “!!” about V being in the chat that he typo’d at first. I like to think that he was over in his corner, doing his work and pretending like he wasn’t paying attention to MC (when he totally was), when he noticed her bolt upright on the couch, staring at her phone with wide-eyes as she quickly typed a response. Seeing as her reaction was strange (why would she react that strongly?), Seven decided to log into the chat to see what was going on . . . and then had a similar near heart attack when he saw that V was in the chat. That’s what I like to think happened, anyway.

This cracked me up, honestly. All of this shit is going down, Saeran keeps hacking the RFA chat and broke into the apartment, there is a bomb in the apartment, etc etc, and V just:

V: [walks in 15mins late with Starbucks] “Sorry, I was in the mountains taking photographs. What’d I miss?”

Iconic.

V said that he heard from Jumin that the special security system was hacked, and that he was glad that Seven was able to make it to the apartment on time. Seven was surprised that V heard about this from Jumin, and then got angry that V called Jumin first, demanding to know why V didn’t call him. V explained that---okay, I don’t remember if I mentioned this before, so apologies if I didn’t, but in a conversation that took place before V left on his mysterious trip, Seven talked about how he gave V a new phone that had a bug detector in it. Supposedly, if the call was being tapped, a red light would come on the phone. When Seven demanded to know why V didn’t call him, V explained that the red light kept coming on every single time he tried to call Seven, hence why he chose to contact him via the messenger instead. Seven was mollified . . . though only just.

Anyway, the conversation shifted then. V made it clear that he knew that Seven was staying in the apartment, and warned Seven not to open the drawer to the desk. At that point, Seven got High Key Offended™, demanding to know why V would bring that up out of the blue, if V didn’t trust him. V said that no, that wasn’t the case---the issue was not that he didn’t trust Seven, but rather that he just felt like it should be said. Apparently, according to V, the drawer holds love letters that he had once written to Rika. Hmmm.

Seven’s not having any of that bullshit, either.

I mean, I’m literally fine. I’m not in any more danger than you are, Seven. We’re in the same boat, here. The sooner you realize that, the easier this will be for all of us.

Mmmhm. Mmhm. See, V, that sounds a lot like the backtracking of someone who realizes he fucked up and is now trying to sloppily cover it up. Unfortunately, it won’t work . . .

. . . for me. MC is another story.

This was a part where I got hella frustrated, because I was following the guide to make sure I’d get the Good End, and honestly, it’s a good thing I did, because if I chose the answer choices that I wanted to during this segment, I would have ruined my file hardcore. I wanted to accuse V of being suspicious, and to point out the fact that his backtracking was sloppy. However, that would have led to a Bad End according to the guide I was following. Instead, I had to scold Seven and tell him to listen to V, which I just . . . why? Why is siding with V the correct answer here? WHY DOES THIS GAME MAKE NO SENSE SOMETIMES?!

Anyway, so I had to act like an idiot and side with V throughout this conversation. It’s fine. Whatever.

That aside, Seven was not about to give up. V kept trying to say that Seven was misunderstanding the situation and that he would explain when he returned, but Seven . . . Seven was not about to have that. If you’ll remember, the hacker turned out to be Saeran, who is Seven’s twin brother. Seven was stricken to see Saeran like that, insisting that Rika had said that he was fine, but Saeran views Seven as a traitor. And that . . . that led to this:

(I had to pick that dumbass option for the Good Ending, don’t judge me.)

As you can see, Seven just about has a total meltdown as he demands answers from V about Saeran, and V fakes having bad service so that he can duck out of the conversation. (I mean, he might genuinely have bad service, but let’s be real. He was totally faking it to get out of the confrontation.) I think the most powerful part of this to me was the bit where Seven said, “The filthy hacking jobs that I do, why is that boy, Why is that boy, why is he doing it,” because the repetition really makes it seem as if Seven is nearing hysterics. You can practically hear his hands shaking. People repeat themselves like that when they’re getting hysterical IRL, and while that’s harder to replicate in a chat room, the fact that Cheritz had Seven do it here really emphasized the fact that he is not calm about this, he is losing his shit, this is a very serious situation to him, and V is dodging his questions and making everything worse. 

There was another VNM after that chat in which it’s revealed that, in addition to the robot puppy, Seven also made a robot cat, just as Jumin had suggested before. (Of course this is the one he brought with him. When will the cat bias end? I mean, it’s sweet, but . . .) Whereas the robot puppy was meant for security and breathed fire in order to ward off foes, the robot cat seems to have been made for companionship, and . . .

. . . senses depression.

Of course, Seven is not in the mood to be cheered up by Meowy (which, as it turns out, is the robot cat’s name), so he tells it to shut up and go sit in a corner repeatedly. Meowy refuses to give up, though, until I tell it to be quiet, at which point:

It shut down because Seven programmed it to “absolutely obey” my voice. I’m guessing he must have recorded at least one of our phone conversations to make that happen. It’s kind of sweet. I’m touched.

Anyway, once Meowy quieted itself and goes to sit in the corner as requested, Seven said that he knew it was weird to say this after he told me to ignore him, but that I should absolutely not trust V under any circumstances. Like a decent person I asked if there was anything I could do to help, and he just

Tbh, Seven, I’m never going to stop worrying about you, and it’s clearly not “nothing”, so you really should just cut the nonsense, js.

Seven went on to say that he didn’t even know why he was blabbering, and that he feels “like [he] should shut down instead of that robot.” Seven, you’re a human, not a machine; don’t talk about yourself that way. He told me not to worry about the drawer, and because I was forced to in order to get the Good Ending, I had to say that I really think there might be love letters in there, even though the contents of that drawer are very clearly not love letters, but rather are materials that no doubt prove that Rika has been the Big Bad this entire time, just as I’ve known she is. Saying that the drawer was suspicious, though, leads to a Bad End, so . . . I was forced to act like an idiot. I was forced to be a dumbass. I hate this. I hate it so much.

I especially hate it because Seven responded by calling me “innocent and naive.” Specifically:

SEVEN: “Scrawlers, you’re very innocent and naive. In this situation, I only think that you’ll be very easy for others to manipulate and exploit.”

mfw:

I may be a lot of things, but “innocent and naive” and “easily manipulated and exploited” are not labels that apply. I mean, I know it seems that way because I was forced to pick the dumbass ditz answer choice for MC to get the Good Ending, but . . . asdghdsaghdsgdsdas. I can’t help but feel that the reason why you have to pick the dumbass answer is because Generic Shoujo Heroines are supposed to be naive and innocent, because that is moe~ and cute~, but god damn, do I hate it with a passion.

And unfortunately, things didn’t get better from there. Seven went on to say that MC should forget about the RFA and everything associated with it, including The Party™.

At that point, I was given two choices:

On the plus side, that terrible first choice led to a Bad End, so I didn’t have to pick it. But in all honesty, the second choice isn’t that much better. Seven did not order MC to leave the RFA; he asked her to. He asked her to please leave as soon as the situation was stabilized, and yes, look---he used the word please. He even emphasizes that this is a choice in the next set of dialogue, albeit in a mildly insulting way at the start:

I say “mildly insulting” because while “I know much more than you” is insulting, at the same time it’s kind of true in this situation. Seven does know more about Rika and V than MC does at this point. He has known them since he was a child, and has been used and manipulated by them for just as long (though he’s only just now starting to realize that). He has also been involved with the RFA since its creation. MC, by comparison, has only been involved for a couple of days. She doesn’t have nearly the same scope of information that he does. So he’s right---he does know more than she does---but he’s still being a bit insulting with how he says that, particularly since he’s not actually giving her the chance to learn what he knows, and thus make a more informed decision on her own.

But the rest of what he says isn’t out of line. Though he is a bit insulting at first, he goes on to say that of course he can’t make decisions for her, that it’s her choice whether she wants to stay or not. However, if she chooses to stay because she wants a relationship with him, that’s off the table. That is in his power to decide, and he has decided “no.” He is giving her a hard no. He still feels that what he does is too dangerous for MC to be involved in. And you know what? That is his choice to make. He’s not doing anything wrong here. He’s giving her advice on what he thinks she should do, he’s acknowledging that he can’t make her choices for her, but he’s also saying that he does not want a relationship with her, will not consent to one, that they’ll talk through the messenger from now on and that he wants to return to his work undisturbed. Yeah, it hurts to be rejected yet again, but he’s within his rights to say no. He has every right to say no. No one is obligated to give themselves to someone else. No one is entitled to another person’s time or company.

Unfortunately . . .

LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE ANSWER CHOICES?!

Good god, they’re BOTH horrible!! The second is the most obviously awful, for the most obvious reasons---seriously, what the fuck? What the actual---cheating is never acceptable, never. Granted, it wouldn’t really be cheating in this case given that Seven has said that we are not in a relationship, therefore it isn’t possible to cheat on him---but still. But still. Cheating is never, ever okay. If you want to be with someone else while you’re in a relationship, then break up with the person you’re with. End the relationship, but don’t ever cheat. The fact that “can I cheat on you” was even an answer choice is downright revolting.

But that said, the other answer choice isn’t much better. It’s whiny, entitled, and selfish. “What do I do about my feelings for you” --- bitch, that’s your own goddamn problem, not his! It’s not Seven’s fault if you have feelings for him, any more than it would be your fault if he had feelings for you that you didn’t reciprocate! And yes, Seven does reciprocate the feelings---but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because to him, the cons outweigh the pros when it comes to pursuing a relationship at this point in time. Trying to guilt trip him into changing his mind, accusing him of being “too one-sided” as if he’s obligated to be in a relationship just because you want it, is downright wrong. If someone says “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you”, they are not being “too one-sided.” They are doing what is best for their own comfort and feelings. It doesn’t matter how much the other person wants to be with them; both people have to equally consent to be in a relationship. Only one person needs to decide to end (or not begin) it. Acting as if Seven doesn’t have that right, or as if he’s in the wrong for saying “no” just because he’s a boy / the love interest, is fucking disgusting. I was so disgusted at this that I almost threw my phone.

Unfortunately, MC has to be a selfish bint here either way, and the “what about my feelings for you” is the one that leads to the Good End (I mean, I would hope to god that “can I cheat on you” doesn’t lead anywhere good, but this is honestly a “lesser of two evils” situation), and as such, MC got the chewing out that she tbh rightly deserved:

mfw:

I’ve seen a lot of people come down on Seven for this, saying how much it hurts to have him say “I don’t care about your feelings”, among other things. And yeah, that’s harsh. However, I maintain that Seven was not in the wrong here. He was perfectly polite with MC up to this point. He told her how he felt, he reiterated for the umpteenth time that he does not want a relationship, said he was going back to work and that he didn’t want to be bothered. And what did MC do? She bothered him. Specifically, she tried to guilt him into being in a relationship with her, at which point he snapped. And that’s a justified snap. If you can see that someone doesn’t want to talk to you, and you continue to push them---and, moreover, you push them with a guilt trip, then you deserve it when they snap at you. MC brought this on herself. She was the one who tried to guilt him into being in a relationship with her. This is on her and I am on his side.

(I understand I’m not having the intended reaction here. I don’t care.)

I’ve also seen people call Seven “tsundere” for this, but I disagree with that as well. He’s not being tsuntsun, he’s being genuinely upset that MC won’t respect his boundaries and listen to him when he tells her that he doesn’t want a relationship with her. That’s not tsun, that’s normal and justified.

Of course, it doesn’t end there:

mfw:

Again, I was forced to pick that for the Good End. I don’t remember what the other answer choice was, but I can only assume it wasn’t much better.

I mean, the first half is fine. Seven is very obviously worried and freaking out at the mere idea of something happening to MC, and calling him on it isn’t wrong. But “so don’t avoid me, please?” is just so goddamn whiny, and it isn’t being considerate of his feelings at all. He’s high-key stressed, he’s worried about MC and about his twin brother who is very clearly in a bad place, he’s not sleeping, he’s barely eating . . . Seven is going through a lot right now, and all MC can do is whine about how she feels lonely and sad that he’s not being nice to her. =( What a fucking joke, honestly. It’s disgusting. I’m disgusted by this behavior. I would never treat him like that, not ever. I may not be the best person in the world, but at least I’m considerate enough to see things from the perspective of someone I care about when they’re going through a hard time instead of making it all about Me, Me, Me.

Seven, understandably, doesn’t agree to stop avoiding her.

You deserve everything in the entire world, actually. You especially deserve to be with someone who isn’t an oblivious, selfish bint, but what can we do.

Of course, MC just continues to be Sad™ because he’s insisting that they’ll never see each other again after this, and while it’s totally fair for her to feel put out by that, I find it hard to sympathize given how horribly she’s handled this entire situation. And as you could expect, the conversation doesn’t end on a happy note . . .

. . . but instead ends with Seven leaving the apartment altogether because he can’t take being around MC like this anymore. (Presumably because MC is being sad and he’s feeling guilty about it, particularly because he does have feelings, he’s just repressing them because he feels like he has to.) 

Re-writing this scene so that it’s a bit more in-line with how I imagine MC (and contains less of the “wahhh pay attention to meeee” nonsense) was a bit difficult, but I did manage it, so . . . (reminder: My MC is MC 4, so---short hair, gold eyes, et cetera.)

MC let the hand holding her phone fall to her lap. The empty chat room (empty except for her, anyway) stared up at her, and despite how quiet and still it was, it felt like it echoed. V had---he had fled. Ran away. Avoided all accusations, but in so doing basically admitted to his own guilt. She couldn’t say she was surprised, really, except---except she was. It made sense---if Rika was suspicious, if she had been up to shady things, then it made sense that her boyfriend, V, had been, too. But the one time MC had spoken to V, back when she was first pulled into this whole mess, he had seemed so nice. Appearances could be deceiving, she guessed, especially in an online chat room, but she had just gotten this feeling---

“God Seven! God Seven! I sense you are depressed, meow.”

MC blinked, and pushed herself up on her knees so that she could see over the back of the couch. Seven was still in his corner, his elbows on his knees and his face in hands, his cell phone on the floor beside him. Standing next to the phone on four shiny, white paws was a little cat, whose tail waved slowly back and forth with a faint whirr noise on each wag.

It was a cat, she realized. A little robot cat.

“I automatically turn on when I sense that you are depressed, meow,” the cat went on. Its voice was high despite the obvious computerized tone, and far more emotive than MC would have expected from a robot. Then again, MC supposed she didn’t know very much about them. “The source of God Seven’s depression is bad service, meow. I analyzed, meow.”

Well, MC thought wryly, that’s close enough.

“Shut up,” Seven said. His voice was muffled by the hands he still had over his face. His glasses were pushed up to his hairline so that he could smash his palms into his eyes.

The robot cat was not deterred. “Cheer up, meow! I, Meowy, do not lose service, meow!”

“Be quiet,” Seven said, and he lifted his face at last to turn to the robot cat---Meowy---who gave a whirring purr in response. Seven picked it up with one hand and looked on its underside, scowling as Meowy waved its paws in response to being lifted up from the floor. “How do I turn this off? Damn . . .”

“Need explaining, meow?” Meowy asked.

“I said shut up!” Seven snapped, and dropped Meowy unceremoniously back on the floor.

True to the species it was designed on, Meowy landed on its feet, undeterred by the rough treatment. “Meowy wants to hear master, meow!”

Seven groaned and put his face in his hands again, and MC stood up from the couch. She had a feeling that Seven still wouldn’t want to talk to her (especially now, given what had happened with V), but it wasn’t as if she could be any more aggravating than Meowy was apparently being at the moment. She locked her phone and slipped it into her pocket as she looped around the couch, and when she was near enough, said, “That robot . . . you made it, then.”

Seven took a deep breath---slow inhale, slow exhale. He then dropped his hands back into his lap, his glasses slightly askew on the bridge of his nose, and said quietly, “Don’t worry about it.” He opened his eyes to glare at Meowy, who was still staring at him expectantly. “Hey, robot cat. Go away. I don’t want to talk to you, so just go to a corner.”

Meowy didn’t budge. “I can’t leave once I sense depression, meow! Cheer up, meow!”

Seven gritted his teeth, his hands balling into fists on his lap, and MC---sensing danger---bent down and scooped Meowy up off the floor.

“Meowy,” she said, “let’s stay quiet for now, okay?”

Meowy chirruped, not unlike a cat that had spotted a bird, and then purred again. “That’s a voice I have to absolutely obey due to my programming, meow. Shutting down, meow.”

MC stared at the robot in her arms as the purring whirred down into silence, and its blue eyes went dark. Once it was deactivated, MC looked back at Seven, feeling more than a little bewildered.

“You programmed it to obey my voice?”

It could have been her imagination, or maybe the lighting, or maybe both, but it looked like Seven’s cheeks tinted red. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter,” he muttered. He took another deep breath and released it, closing his eyes once more as he leaned his head back against the wall. “At least it’s finally quiet.”

It did matter, MC thought, whether Seven programmed a robot to respond to her voice (and how had he done that, anyway? Had he recorded some of their phone conversations?), but she supposed it wasn’t the most important thing to discuss right then. She sat Meowy on the floor behind the couch before she walked back over to Seven, and sat on the floor near enough so they could talk, but not so close that she’d be invading his space.

“Hey, so . . . that whole thing with V was kind of a mess,” she said. “Things didn’t go well at all. Want to talk about it?”

Seven huffed a humorless laugh, and without looking at her said, “Not really. But . . .”

MC raised her eyebrows. “But?”

Seven looked over at her at last, chewing the inside of his cheek a moment before he said, “I know it’s funny to say all this after I told you to stop paying attention to me, but whatever happens . . . don’t trust what V says.”

“Yeah, I kinda got the feeling that he was dodging stuff back there,” MC said. Seven nodded, and looked back at his laptop monitors. “God only knows why, but . . . anyway, it’s not like I talk to him a whole lot, anyway. I’ve only talked to him, what, once or twice before? So unless something big happens with RFA, it’s not like we’ll be chatting much anyway, probably.”

Seven snorted, and tugged on his headphone wire. “God,” he said. “RFA.” He was quiet a second before he said, “I think you shouldn’t be more involved with RFA.”

That came out of nowhere. “What? Why?”

“What do you mean, why?” Seven asked. He gestured vaguely with his hand. “Look at all of this. Look at the mess you’re in. You look at this, and then you still have to ask that?”

“This is because of Rika---and V, I guess,” MC said. “Jaehee, Jumin---the others have nothing to do with it. And neither do you, really.”

Seven gave her a dumbfounded look. “Have you forgotten who installed the bomb in the first place?”

“No. I also haven’t forgotten who saved me from its detonation,” MC shot back.

Seven shook his head and rolled his eyes, and looked straight ahead again. MC followed his gaze to a desk on the other side of the room.

“V told me not to open the drawer because there’s something in there,” he said. “An alarm will ring if someone like you opens the drawers or one of the cabinets.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

“But I can control all the alarms, so if I want to, I can see everything. I’m sure he logged in because he heard that I’m here and got nervous about something.”

“Makes sense,” MC said. “So why don’t we open the drawers and take a look?”

Seven didn’t look at her. He kept his eyes trained on the desk, chewing the inside of his cheek. At length, he said, “I will someday . . . but not right now.”

“Why not?”

“I’m sure there’s something that an RFA member should never see . . . and it’s hard enough for me to keep sane right now given how my trust in V is shattered. I need time.”

“Understandable,” MC said. They were both quiet again, Seven still staring at the desk across the room, and after a moment MC asked quietly, “But, hey . . . are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help? Even if it’s just getting you a drink or something. You look like you could use one.”

Even before she finished speaking, Seven was shaking his head, and he closed his eyes. “It’s nothing,” he said, and that was one of the biggest lies MC thought she had ever heard. “God, I made you worry again . . .”

“Seven, I’ve been consistently worried about you for days now,” MC said. “This doesn’t change that.”

Seven gave her a sharp look. “You shouldn’t be. I’m not worth worrying about.”

“Agree to disagree,” MC said.

Seven gave her a frustrated look for only a moment before he tore his eyes away. Once more, he scrubbed his hands up his face. “God. I feel like I should shut down instead of that cat.”

“Sleep would be good,” MC said. “You really look like you could use it. Want to take the bed?”

“No. It’s late. You’ll need to go to sleep soon. You should probably already be in bed, actually.”

“Look who’s talking,” MC said, and Seven rolled his eyes. “I can sleep on the couch, I don’t mind. Or the bed’s big enough for both of us, if you won’t freak out about sharing.”

“I can sleep on the floor,” Seven said. “Right over there by Meowy.”

“If you want to sleep by Meowy so bad, I’ll put him in the bed,” MC said. “Then you two can snuggle and have a great slumber party.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” Seven snapped.

“Why are you?” MC snapped back.

They glared at each other for a few seconds, and only after Seven seemed to realize she wouldn’t back down did he look away, loosing another sigh before he opted to change the subject instead of continuing their argument.

“Whatever. Look, just . . . don’t worry about the drawer. I’ll take care of it.”

“I never had any doubt about that,” MC said. “It’s not the drawer I’m worried about. It’s you.”

Seven shot her a frustrated look. “Don’t worry about me. I already said---”

“I know what you said,” MC interrupted, “and I don’t care. You can control a lot of things, Seven, but how I feel is not one of them. I’m going to care and worry about you whether you like it or not.”

“So you care about me, yet somehow you don’t care when I’m telling you to stop?”

“I don’t care to buy into the lie that everything’s fine and you’re okay when you’re obviously not,” MC said, and Seven tossed up one hand before he let it fall back to his side. “You need help, Seven. I don’t know what kind of help you need, but you need something. I’m beginning to think everyone in RFA does, actually. This is one of the most drama-filled charity organizations I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Not that I’ve been involved with a lot of charity organizations before, but---”

“Why don’t you just forget the RFA?” Seven said. “Forget everything related to RFA. The members, the party---forget it all.”

“Uh, that’s going to be kind of hard considering I’ve been the one coordinating all these e-mails and party invites,” MC said. “Not to mention the fact that I’m pretty sure Yoosung might have a meltdown if I say the show’s over that suddenly, but---why?”

“You’ll only be in danger by staying in some place like this,” Seven said, and this time MC rolled her eyes. The danger again. Of course. “So as soon as the hacker issue is solved, please leave.”

“Believe it or not,” MC said dryly, “this apartment is probably safer than where I was staying before, bomb and all. It’s definitely a lot nicer. It has running water and everything.”

Seven furrowed his brow. “Where were you staying before?”

Fuck was what she wanted to say, because it was honest even if it wouldn’t answer his question. She cared about him---thought she loved him, probably, as much as she had ever loved anyone, anyway. But despite that, or maybe because of it, she still wasn’t ready to divulge her past with him. She still wasn’t ready to tell him where she had been before, or what she had been doing . . . why she had decided to take up residence in Rika’s apartment even though party planning wasn’t one of her life callings.

So instead of answering his question, she said, “Why don’t you tell me, Mr Genius Hacker?” She snorted. “I knew you didn’t really do a background check.”

Seven glared at her. “Don’t be so sure,” he said, and in truth she wasn’t, but she also knew that any background checks he did wouldn’t have turned up much of anything. “I just didn’t want to invade your privacy. I told you, I was only looking into you before to make sure you were safe, on V’s orders.”

“Well, no worries about that. I’m perfectly safe. Totally legit. On the up-and-up.” MC touched two fingers to her heart, and then held them up. “Scout’s honor.”

Seven eyed her for a second before he said, “You’re not a scout.”

“Guilty as charged,” she said, and grinned. His lips twitched, but he didn’t smile. “But seriously, this is a definite upgrade from where I was before, even if it’s not permanent. I’m safe enough right where I am, especially since you’re here. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Seven sucked in a breath, and looked down at his laptop again. He was quiet for a long moment, and just when MC thought that he was going to go back to ignoring her (which would be fine, in a sense, especially since this was the longest and most pleasant conversation they had had in the apartment yet), he said, “You’re free to do whatever you want. But my thoughts will not change.”

MC felt her heart pick up speed in her chest, but in the unpleasant way that came right before an unwarranted visit from the police or realizing that someone had just picked her pocket. “Meaning?”

“Meaning that even if you try to get involved with me, I’ll refuse,” he said. “This isn’t something a person like you should be involved in.”

Hearing that he didn’t want to be with her---again---hurt, even if it wasn’t surprising. Rejections worked that way, she guessed. No matter how many times you were rejected, it never took the sting off. But with the sting came a flash of annoyance, particularly since she felt she hadn’t done a single damn thing to warrant the rejection this time.

“If you don’t want to be with me, fine, I get it,” she snapped. “I never even said that I was doing this to be with you, so thanks for assuming. But if you could do me a favor and stop acting like I’m weak and helpless, that’d be great.”

Seven locked his jaw, and didn’t look at her. “I never said you were weak and helpless.”

“That’s how you’re acting,” she said. “‘This isn’t something for a person like you to be involved in’ --- a person like me? What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that you’re pure, and innocent, and naïve, and you don’t understa---”

“I don’t understand? You’re the one making a hell of a lot of assumptions about me with no basis to go on!” MC snapped, and once again they were glaring at each other. MC didn’t care. “Where the hell did you get the idea that I’m pure, innocent, or naïve?”

“You don’t know anything about this situation,” Seven said. “You don’t know the truth about V, or me, or---or any of it. That’s naivete---ignorance.”

“It’s ignorance that isn’t my fault. How am I supposed to know anything if I haven’t been told? And I know,” she said, holding up one hand as he opened his mouth to fire back, “that it’s none of my business, but I don’t think it’s fair for you to hold it against me, either.”

“I’m not holding anything against you,” Seven bit out. “I’m trying to protect---”

“Maybe I don’t need as much protection as you think I do,” MC said. “Maybe I can take care of myself. Maybe I’m not some braindead, helpless child that can’t understand things or handle tough situations. I don’t know a lot about you, Seven. You’re right. But you don’t know a lot about me, either, so maybe stop acting like you do.”

Heavy silence hung between them. She regretted what she said almost as soon as she said it; no doubt he was pissed, or hurt, or maybe rethinking whatever it was he felt about her, and not in a good way. But before she could try to smooth over what she had spat in anger, Seven looked back at his laptop.

“Let’s just stop talking about this,” he said. “From now on, if I have to tell you anything concerning your safety, I’ll do it through the messenger, so . . . that’s that.”

MC was filled with a heavy, hollow sort of defeat, and her shoulders sagged. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s that.”

“I’m going to get back to work,” he said. His voice was still even, but it somehow sounded just as empty as MC felt. “So don’t bother me.”

“Fine.”

Once again silence fell over them, though this time it was broken a few seconds later by the sound of Seven clicking his mouse, and then putting his fingers to the keys. He was a fast typist; he didn’t so much as glance at the keyboard, yet he typed so quickly it was as if his fingers were gliding over the keyboard instead of actually pressing the keys down. The sound of the keys clacking was like raindrops on a windowpane. It felt too awkward to go back to the couch, now, and the weight of what she had said before was still rooted in her gut. This conversation, like so many before it, had ended on a bad note. And that had been the norm for the past couple of days, and she knew that, but she still couldn’t let it go.

So after another couple seconds of silence punctuated only by swift typing, MC said, “Just so you know, this---this doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change how I feel. I still care about you, a lot. Regardless of anything that’s happened, or anything that could happen . . . you still mean a lot, and are still very important to me. I just want you to know that.”

Seven had stopped typing the second she had spoken up, and when she finished, he slammed his hands down at the base of his laptop. Despite herself, MC jumped.

“I told you not to bother me!” Seven snapped, and he looked up to glare fiercely at her. “What part of that didn’t you understand?!”

“I wasn’t---!” MC began, but as he raised his eyebrows, she felt her shoulders sag, giving him the point. “Okay, I’m sorry. I should have left you alone. But I just wanted to let you know how I feel, because---”

“I don’t care about your feelings!” Seven snapped. “And I never asked---”

“Well, I care about yours!” MC snapped back, and that brought him up short. He stared at her, eyes wide, and MC curled her fingers into fists. “You think I don’t get that you don’t care about my feelings, Seven? After how you’ve been the past few days, ever since you got here---after you didn’t so much as look happy even for a second once we finally met in person, you think I haven’t gotten the message that you don’t care yet? ‘Cause trust me, I’ve got it. Loud and clear. You care about my safety, yeah. You care about my body, my life, whether I’m breathing or not. But you don’t care about me.”

He looked stricken. “That’s---that’s not---!”

“And that’s fine,” she said, and she raised her voice a little speak over him. She was shaking so bad she could feel her teeth rattling, but that was the adrenaline. She wouldn’t let it stop her. “It’s fine, I---I don’t care if you don’t care about me, that’s fine, it’s whatever, I can live with it. But that’s not going to stop me from caring about you. I care about you. I---like you, a lot, a---a whole hell of a lot. And whether you like me back or whatever doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change how I feel. So I wanted you to know, not because I want or expect you to do anything about it, but just so you know that there’s someone, however unimportant, who cares about you. There’s a lot of people, actually, I think, given RFA, but---whatever. Point is, I care. And if you need me, I’m here for however long this lasts.”

MC stood up.

“I’m . . . I’m going to go lay down for a bit. Clear my head. That sort of thing,” she said. “But if you need anything, just . . . come get me.”

Seven said nothing. The conversation was over, and MC couldn’t decide whether she was relieved for that or not.

But when she went back to the bedroom, she only just made it inside the door before she heard the sound of shuffling equipment. Quietly, so as not to let him know that she had noticed, MC looked around the doorway to the bedroom in time to see him gathering his laptop and other equipment in his arms. He didn’t so much as glance in her direction, nor was he very careful with the equipment he was moving. Instead, he piled cords and his wireless mouse on top of his laptop keyboard, balanced that on the crook of his arm, and then headed to the front door.

He stepped aside, and let the door shut behind him, without looking back once.

MC sighed heavily, and walked back to the bed, flopping back on it as she had told him she would. She didn’t expect him to go far; whatever she had snapped about him not caring about her (which wasn’t really true, she knew, and she felt bad, but she was hurt and angry and---), she knew he did. Probably he was sitting just outside the door, in the hallway, regretting his choice to go out since the wifi was worse in the hall than it was in the apartment. Then again, maybe he had his laptop rigged to get choice signal wherever he was. It wouldn’t surprise her.

She didn’t know what to do. When this was over---she had figured the party would be pretty basic, and that she’d be let go once it was done. She’d be free to return to that little studio apartment she had been squatting in, provided it wasn’t already taken by some other drifter, or rented out by the landlord. Or maybe RFA would have wanted to keep her as a party coordinator, and maybe she could have found a way to help one of them get her a job and an apartment. Jumin would probably hire her. She didn’t know what she could do, but maybe Elizabeth the 3rd could use a more dedicated pet-sitter. It’d probably make Seven happy, if his girlfriend was cat-sitting Elly. Then again, dating Seven would probably disqualify her.

Not that they were dating. They weren’t. They never would, unless Seven’s mind changed, and she doubted that was going to happen any time soon. She rolled over on her side, glaring at the wall.

It was fine, she didn’t care---well, she did care, but she wasn’t---she didn’t need him to like her back. She had been on her own for long enough before this, and she could continue on this way. But everything felt like it was spinning out of control, and she wanted to help. She wanted to be there for him. And though she had always been alone before, it was different now. It wasn’t just that she was alone; it was that she was now aware of a space beside her that should have been filled, but wasn’t, and now that she was aware of the empty space, she couldn’t ignore it.

Her phone beeped. She shifted just enough so that she could pull it free from her pocket, and when she unlocked the screen, she saw that Jaehee and Yoosung were in the chat. No doubt Yoosung would have more than a few words to say about what V had done, and none of them nice. For once, MC didn’t think she could be very annoyed by whatever tantrum she was about to walk into.

She sighed, and tapped her screen to open the chat.

[needhelpforrealnow-blog]

Here is her story

Okay i need someones help. I have a friend that ive known for almost 10 years she's like my sister. My Dad knew her father and grandmother for years. she, Her father and grandmother live just down the street from me and my family. She would often be at my house practically living there. She even had a bed in my home to sleep in and she even goes as far as calling my mom her mother. The father was the one with custody and he stuggled to provide but what he did have would often go to beer and drugs. she didnt like her father cause to put it bluntly he was an ass. She's told me stories of when her father had choke her almost to the point of blacking out and how when he would try to hit her, the grandmother would step in with a frying pan and said "if you dont stop this right now, and leave her alone then i will use this" he would step forward and she would hit him with no hesitation. The mother wasnt in the picture because she was an alcoholic and a drug addict as well. The father would let the mother spend time with her. Obiously she didnt act terrible because the mother was only going to spend so much time with her daughter. She would buy her stuff she wanted, take her places she wanted to go[that were often funded by one of her many boyfriends] my friend never met the moster she was. She didnt get the off feeling my mom and i would get but didnt know her enough to put our finger on what it was. But the grandmother knew how she really was and didnt allow halie to enter her custody while she was kicking. the grandmother was her saving grace and mother figure. She would cook for her, clean her room and buy anything she needed...but she passed away over a year ago from a heart attack...thats when hell broke loose the demon labled as a mother decided to take custody. Just a few months after the grandmother's death. The mother took the opose his daughter right after he lost his mother but when the judge asked who she wanted to go with. My friend was depressed and only knew her father as an ass and so chose her mother. This is one of her biggest regrets. She absolutely hates her mother. The mother is verbally abusive and is a danger to the public because she often drives drunk with he kids in the car. She's a great actor though so you can never tell the difference between her being drunk and her sober but guess what she recently has refused to feed my friend only ever buying food for her 2 year old son that my friend constantly has to be watching. the mother claiming "i dont feed people who dont love me" the mother forced my friend to break up with her boyfriend because while in an argument the boyfriend texted. She's called her a shit head an idiot. Even going as far as calling her a whore when she found out my brother was providing her food at school because the mother refused to feed her at home. [no strings attached. my brother has a child of his own and has known halie just as long as i have which is close to a decade] Even going as far as threatening to call the cops on my brother and her ex boyfriend. The boyfriend is a year and a half older than her but she threatens to the cops on him because he will turning 18 in june. [its feb 7 at the time this is writen]I have gone to her house too. This was when she was still going to school with me. it was around 10:30 but we went over so we can get some of her clothes that she refused to bring over earlier. When we got there we called to let her know we were outside and when we entered her brother was crying on the bed while the mother was screaming her head off " you woke up the fucking kids! Why the fuck are you coming at fucking 11 at night! What the fuck is wrong with you! You fucking woke him up!" all while picking up some of her sons toys and throwing them aggressively in a corner while my ftiend was trying to let her know that i was there as well. We came and left pretty quickly with the mother still cussing the whole time and the last thing we hear is "you better fucking get your ass back her by tomorrow!" her brother still crying the whole time. Now my friend loves her brother with all her heart. I would imagine so she watches him the majority of the time. Some People where she lives believe that he is her kid. One man saying "i have a boy around the same age as your son" that is how often she watches him almost every single day.  To the point where her son would rather be carried by her than his own mother. Here's another story but this one invovles her son on second thought i share two She was outside with a buddy of hers drinking while her at the time 1 yearold son was inside sick with a fever. My friend wasnt home at the time cause she was at my house Spending the night. She gets a call that her little brother had gotten a seizure because of how high his temperature was! Apparently she didmt know you were suppose to give the medicine every so many hours and pretty much left him and she knew he was haveing a seizure because her buddy saw him through the window! He's fine now so dont worry infact he use to walk on his tippy toes before his seizure and now walks normally! Heres another story with this boy. One time when my friend was taking a shower her mother was passed out on the couch with the sliding door slightly opened. And her 1 year old playing on the floor. He went to the door pushed it even more open and was wondering outside in the rain heading towards the street. My friend had gotten out of the shower not to long after and couldn't find her brother she noticed the door open and look outside to see him heading towards the street with a couple of neighbors try to get him to come to them and away from the street. Sadly but unsurprisingly he doesnt like other people very much often sticking towards his mother but mostly towards my friend. When she saw him she called out to him and he finally came back to their house.And hell as a short bonus: the mother has even driven with her youngest child in the front seat of the car!Now this story is one that happened very recently like feb 5 recently. And to let you know as to why my friend doesnt call the police herself its because My friends phone is not connected so the only way she can talk anyone is through wifi And a app called kik or messager on facebook. Now the app only allows texting and her mother refuses to connect her phone. So even if she wanted to she would beable to call for help and so on sundayI was at home asleep when i felt my phone buzzing like crazy! I look at my phone and i was horrified at what i had been reading. My friend had texted me saying for me to call her dad or to call the cops because her mother threaten to beat her and grabbed her roughly and locked her outside the house and that she had been drinking she was scared to try and call someone else because she would grab her again. Now my friend doesnt like cops and neither do i but to read from her asking for them it made my heart drop to my stomach and i immidietly jumped out of bed and called guyfriend [who had been getting close with halie as well] that i needed a ride right than and there to her house. he lived near by so it was only 2 mins for him to get to my house. I jumped in the car and texting her that i was on the way with our friend. As we were going i called her father and told him what his daughter had texted me. He claimed that his car wasnt working like it always isnt and that he had a friend over but he didnt have gas and when he hung up my friend had texted me saying for me to tell her dad not to believe her mother. The father called back i told my guyfriend to circle around to his house since we hadent left the street yet and when i picked the phone up he said for me NOT to pick her up. My guyfriend had just parked in front of his house. i was confused, he told me that she was just angry over an argument over a boy and to not pick her up. I was furious at what i was hearing and told him that she was obviously distress and that her mother threaten to beat her and he then yelled at me telling me that he heard her 'in the house' and that he's not going to stress over it. I motion for my friend to leave And then he practically shouted in my phone "DONT PICK HER UP!" I wasnt going to argue anymore and all i saw was red. And that last remark so i hung up. I called my mom to let her know i was had to go only to be told she wasnt home to begin with. I told her the situation and my mom calmly told me that she was going to head home and speak with the father befor hanging up. And told mu friend to head to her house. I kept in contact with my friend to make sure she was alright. And the text from that point on went like this:Tell my dad [1:41 pm] Not to listen to her About me and marco She's drunk She wants to make him hate me and him Are you coming or not i couldnt here what my dad said He told me not to pick you up Why not I cant stay here Please convince him Ill walk over there then. Im picking you up. Im not going to try and Convince him Of shit. Is he mad i cant use the fucking phone anne I know and im coming I cant fucking call him cause she's going to get me againYour coming where? To your house I called my mom she sounded calm but said she was going to his house in a bit Are you okay? No im not okay Where r u ? At my moms She left I need to take care of my brother. I know that She left him here Fuck It's whatever My dad doesn't want me over there So it doesn't matter anyways Well we do halie You can't pick me up I can't stay over there I don't even have any clothes I don't know what I'm going to do We're still coming She came back ): Idk if she'll let me What is she doing You want me to call the cops cause i can Just come and if she doesn't let me we'll call the cops We are here [ 2:05 pm]When we got there i was so nervous and angry i couldnt even think straight. And told my friend to start it off i handed him my phone so he can do a voiceHe nocked on the door and mand when she said hello my friend tried to get out out of the house and the mother said"what are you doing? What are you doing?!" "Ima leave"  "your not leaving anywhere get your ass inside. She aint going nowhere. get inside" "my dad said i could leave""YOUR DAD did not send nobody get inside NOW! Get inside now before I FUCKING CALL THE COPS and your ass is going to fucking juvenile" "why?" " YOUR DAD did not call them" "yes he did" "YOUR DAD JUST CALLED me right now. Get your ass inside your dad did not call them your dad said he didnt even have a fucking car to take your ass to school" "you said i cant! I can go." "BECAUSE I HAVE EVRY FUCKING ATHORITY OVER YOU....EVERY AUTHORITY OVER YOU.YOU HAVE NO REASON TO EVEN BE WITH YOUR FATHER BECAUSE HE'S NOT EVEN CAPABLE OF TAKING CARE OF YOU! HE HAS NO FOOD HE'S A DRUG ADDICT AND HE DRINKS! AND YOU WANNA FUCKING LEAVE" "yea" " YEA, I dont care what you want" "okay" "i dont care" durning that argument she called her father "SO YOU SENT ANNE AND another friend of hers to come and pick her up?.....FOR what! Why didnt you tell me that. Why did you tell me that she was going to stay here. So whose going to take her to school? IF YOU dont have a car than whose going to take her to school.......exactly, exactly" "anne can take me" "NO! She is not your responsibility" "she can take me!" "i dont care" "of course you dont" "your staying here. I dont care, your staying here"" no im not" "yes you are""no im not""yes you are...bye chuck" "no im not" "your staying here" "why""because i said so" "why""because I said so because you are not the adult i am and next time you listen to me" "THEN NEXT TIME DONT LOCK ME OUT""WHEN THE FUCK DID I LOCK YOU OUT, YOU LIEING LITTLE SHIT HEAD. MY SON WAS OUT THERE WITH YOU! DID I LOCK YOU OUT" "yEs!" "I JUST STOOD RIGHT THERE INFRONT OF THAT DOOR""not really""cause i asked you to take care of him""YOU LOCKED ME OUT"" OH BUT YOUR WILLING TO GO A MEET FUCKING OTHER RANDOM GUYS LIKE A LITTLE WHORE""i knew you veiwed me as a whore" "GET THE FUCK INSIDE you guys got to gWe waited outside and two cop cares showed up one came to us he was around is early 20's and the other was older mabey 40's but i didnt get a good look cause he just waked pass us to the door. We told the cop how we were worried for our friend and i showed him the text on my phone and told him i had a recording. He told us to wait there and went inside as well when he came back out and told us that my friend and her mother just got in a argument over a boy and said that even though it was in good intentions i should stop the door again. I asked so what was going to happen and he said nothing that tshe's not drunk she's doesnt show signs of abuse so there's nothing to be done and that we're only getting my friends side of the story not the mothers. It was at that point i started to cry. I had failed my friend and quit honestly. Just wanted to scream i looked and my friend to see what we can do and noticed him crying as well. I tried to stop myself from crying thank the officer. He ask which car was ours and when we told him, he took down the rest of our information and wish us a safe trip and went on our way. I have never felt so mentally and emotionlly exhausted. I quit hoestly felt like screaming and crahing the car. The cops took the mothers side they didnt even bother testing her and we didnt even talk to the other cop but the cop talking to us talked to both the mother and us and if was obvious which side they took. I told my friend to take me home and when i got there i just started bawling i wanted that lady gone. I wanted the grandmother back. I just wanted it to be over. I hated i couldnt help my friend when she needed me the most. I texted my friend and she told me that she was sorry and that the mother is lying to the cop and that she was going to literally kill herself ...i told her not to and while i dont believe she would im slowly doubting that belief. This is the guy friend- I made this account cause if you read it all than you can see why we need help. We are backed against a corner and we need help, so if any of you can give us the help than please