#apparently i made this but i dont recall ever doing so

[mrbunglr]

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Aug 3rd

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1. Hi can you help me find this fic ?

So it was set during the Sunshot Campaign, vivid war setting, a lot of explicit sexual content,a long fic I think but definitely more than 10k. It was about Wangxian getting too during the war. I remember only some bits. LWJ asked JC for permission to get married or something of the sort and JC got mad because he thought LWJ was joking but started to negotiate with LXC when it became apparent he was not. Before the final battle WWX promised LWJ that they won't die.During the final battle LWJ got hurt and seemingly died and WWX lost control and made a giant earthquake that collapsed Koi Tower with JGS inside. LWJ was kind of dead for a while but his spirit stuck around (I don't remember why really just that maybe it was part of some spell?) and WWX managed to resurrect him but he needed to regain his memories slowly.

FOUND? The dreamers. by orange_crushed (E, 17k, WangXian, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Spells & Enchantments, Canon Divergence, Oral Sex, Penetrative Sex, War, Canon-Typical Violence, Sunshot Campaign, Temporary Character Death, The Character Dies But Does Not Stay Dead Trust Me, Resurrection, Suicidal Thoughts, Loss of Identity, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Injury Recovery, Trauma, Memory Loss, Memory Magic, War Is Hell Etcetera, I Promise The Characters Do Not Stay Dead and Will Absolutely Be Okay, Masturbation, Fantasy, Very Brief Mention of Burial-Mounds-Era Cannibalism, Major Character Death... but only for a minute honestly!!, Awkward First Times, Marriage Proposal)

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2. I'm looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian wasn't killed at the attack at Nightless City but taken captive by the Jins. It's discovered that, to escape the loss of his loved ones and the abuse at the Jin's hands, that he's grown a new core while dreaming and can now dream cultivate. He even manages to bring back Jiang Yanli. I can't find it and hope it hasn't been deleted. Any help tracking this one down would be greatly appreciated!

FOUND? Dream a little dream of me by Moominmammashandbag (M, 60k, WangXian, NHS/MXY, Prison, Hair Washing, WWX thinks he is dreaming, Hurt/Comfort,vFluff and Angst, mentions of torture, MXY deserves love, Mention of dismemberment, Coming Out, Plotting and scheming, animate body parts, goose, and supporting avian cast, Anxiety Disorder, Anxiety Attacks, Reincarnation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Do not fuck with NHS, Dreamwalking, Angst with a Happy Ending, I have read chapter 118 of MDZS ergo I regard JGY as a villain, JC is not a villain, just flawed, JZX Lives)

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3. looking for a fic that's set during the sunshot campaign, after wwx leaves the burial mounds and is found by lwj and jwy. all I recall is one chapter where jwy attacks wwx and endangers wwx. lwj rescues wwx and takes him to the medical tent, and then confronts jwy. I believe the fic author provided two versions of lwj's confrontation w jwy, one of which is a full on physical fight. does this ring a bell? thanks! @potatokunst

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4. hi, i vaguely remember reading a fic where wwx runs around the lan sect political hall in front of the other sect leaders threatening to strip to defuse political tensions HAHA i dont remember the name of the fic but if you could find that that would be great! thank you so much :)

FOUND? Kingfisher Feathers by anonymous (E, 165k, WIP, WangXian, A/B/O, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Rut Sex, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Palace, Royalty, Everyone Lives, Married but one of them doesn't remember it, Amnesia, Historical Inaccuracy, Harems, but not really because we all know lwj only ever sees wwx, Emperor LWJ, War Hero WWX, Collars as a status symbol, Eventual mpreg, Bonding, Claiming Bites, Mutual Pining, Breeding Kink, hints of dubcon cos the whole situation is kinda icky, trope-typical sexism, Dubious Consent, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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5. Hi! I am looking for this fic:

Wei wuxian either goes back in time or loses his memory. But it is back in burial mounds. And he has lost any love for Jiang Cheng. His golden core starts to come back to himself. Jiang Cheng comes to burial mounds demanding an explanation and wwx is rude as he doesn't have that brotherly love anymore

FOUND? 💖 Return to Sender by Thesaurus_with_no_words (M, 72k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BAMF WWX , WangXian Get a Happy Ending, YLLZ WWX, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, canon JC characteristics, Temporary Amnesia, Partial Memory Loss, Literal Emotional Manipulation, Unreliable Narrator, Unreliable Narrator WWX, they are all unreliable ok, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon typical horror and gore, Slow Burn)

FOUND? The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

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6. Im looking for this fic please let me know if you can find it

I don't remember a lot of it but in the end there is a battle and lwj and wwx are together and all the sect leaders are also on the battlefield. They can see that there is another flute and xichen finds out its jgy and su she responsible for it.

FOUND? 🔒 Living by WithBroomBefore (G, 15k, WangXian, JC & WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, POV LWJ, WWX Lives, JYL Lives, Family Feels, Siblings, Crying, Lots of it, Suicide Attempt, just the one though, everyone goes to Lotus Pier, plot happens offscreen, Healing, Sad with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Character Death,nmostly just hugs and weeping and healing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs)

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7. Hello! I have another fic finder request for you. I think wwx is a prince of the royal family that rules of gods/goddesses. I think lwj might've been mortal, but I'm not sure. I can't remember exactly how wwx and lwj meet, but I think they promised each other that they would marry. lwj then goes home and finds out that his marriage has been arranged - turns out it was wwx's family who got too excited and asked behind his back. I think wwx goes to find lwj in a tent(?) and tells him the truth before the wedding happens. Sorry it's kind of vague. Thank you everyone!

FOUND? cloudy autumn heaps the sky by anatheme (T, 23k, WangXian, Fantasy, Universe Alteration, Secret Identity, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Timeline What Timeline, wwx is a little older here, wwx piling gifts on lwj and encouraging hoarding tendencies, Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Arranged Marriage)

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8. Hi! This is fic finder. A modern au where WangXian an ex. WWX works as a model and LWJ is a parfumer. LWJ got a job for YZY. When he goes to the meeting, he sees a bilboard that has WWX on it. Then he messed up the meeting. WWX and LWJ then work together. LWJ places got blown up. WWX asked LQR to sponsor LWJ. Thats all thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

FOUND! 🔒 heart notes by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 92k, Modern, Fashion & Models, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Reconciliations, Family Drama, exes to friends to lovers, Second Chances, Breaking Up & Making Up, Flashbacks, POV Alternating, Perfume, Fire,bminor injury, Perfumer LWJ, Model WWX, just this once CSSR lives, LWJ's past mistakes come back to haunt him, the inherent eroticism of perfume and the application therein, a little bit of pining while fucking, shockingly enough this narrative does not rely on misunderstandings to fuel the plot)

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9. Hello!! Could you help me find a fanfic where wwx travels back in time as a ghost(? some people cant see him) and he stumbles upon lwj and lxc when they were kids, and he starts taking care of them like giving them treats and comforts lwj & lxc when they lost their mother

Thank you ! <3 @reredamancy

FOUND! Waiting by Morgana_avalon (G, 46k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, Short Story, LWJ is five year old, LXC is eight year old, LWJ as a boy kneeling in the snow at the jingshi waiting for his mama to return, brothers looking out for each other, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, canon divergent but also canon compliant, Mystery, Mysticism, Chenqing, didn't know the name of Lan Zhan and Lan Xichen's father when I started writing this, Bichen, happy endings!, The Qilin, Author has no clue how to use birth/courtesy names correctly, Based on the TV-series and not the novel)

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10. Hi sorry to bother y'all, I am looking for a fic I've lost, (I need to learn to Bookmark them with Tags I can remember), and I need help finding it.

A) Basically WWX gets taken in by the Lans because YZ traumatized him to be afraid of Lotuses and Purple? I can't really remember but he gets to stay with LWJ because of it.

B) Mingjue after death gets turned into a talking head/loud goose and the cultivation world looses it's head.

Thanks so much for your all's effort in this blog! (^_^♪)

10A)

FOUND!🔒 this body yet survives by RoseThorne (T, 54k, WangXian, WIP, No War AU, Recovery, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals, Near Death Experiences, Attempted Murder, Eventual Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, Siblings, Protective Siblings, Soup, Triggers, Protective LWJ, Protective LQR, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Bad Parent YZY, POV Third Person, POV LWJ, reference to poisoning, reference to assassination, Reference to chronic illness, reference to infanticide, Depression, Minor Injuries, Painting, Gift Giving, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling JYL, BAMF WWX,, Jealous SS, WWX Protection Squad)

10B)

FOUND? Dream a little dream of me by Moominmammashandbag (M, 60k, WangXian, NHS/MXY, Prison, Hair Washing, WWX thinks he is dreaming, Hurt/Comfort,vFluff and Angst, mentions of torture, MXY deserves love, Mention of dismemberment, Coming Out, Plotting and scheming, animate body parts, goose, and supporting avian cast, Anxiety Disorder, Anxiety Attacks, Reincarnation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Do not fuck with NHS, Dreamwalking, Angst with a Happy Ending, I have read chapter 118 of MDZS ergo I regard JGY as a villain, JC is not a villain, just flawed, JZX Lives)

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11. I cannot for the life of me remember this fic although I'm sure it's a time travel fix it. The scene that has been stuck in my head is:

During the sunspot campaign (?) jzx admits he wants to marry jyl, and wwx and jwy sit down to negotiate the terms (it is implied that they're going to take him for everything he's got and he's going to let them). Just then mianmian bursts in towing a very confused jgy who then realised what's going on.

I thought it might be paper moon but they never broke their bethrothal. I've gone through my bookmarks and still can't place the scene. Please help!! @theladypeartree

FOUND! Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 103k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Time Travel, Fix-It)

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12. Hello there! I need help i am looking for a fic it was an Alien Invation au i think? Lan Wangji is in the Military with his brother Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue. They were trying to fight some of the aliens but Lan Wangji got seperated and met wei wuxian who was a scientist. There was also Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning. Hope you can find it please! Thankyouu! @lynthecat

FOUND? Deleted "Son Of A Soldier Boy" by FireAwayy. The cached link for chapter 1. If they want to read the rest of the fic they will have to search each chapter to find the cached version. I did check the Wayback Machine but the fic isn't available there (but here is that link too if interested: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41843295 ) // Number 12 for yesterday’s fic finder sounds like “Son Of A Soldier Man” by FireAwayy. They deleted some of their fics a while back including this one. The fic is not available on the wayback machine but you can access it, chapter by chapter, through cached search results. I haven’t been able to find all the chapters but I imagine some more sleuthing can dig them up. You can follow this tutorial for info on how to access cached pages. Note that Google Chrome no longer caches links, so you have to use an alternative like Microsoft Bing (ext for Chrome available) to access. 

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13. For fic finder: My apologies if I recently sent in this ask: this fic has been on my brain for the last few days and I can’t remember if I already wrote in about it or not! It was a modern au about pro e-sports. The different sects are different gaming teams in this fic. WWX was accused of cheating a few years back and had to leave the Jiang team. LWJ, captain of Lan team, eventually finds WWX again and asks to enter a competition with WWX, and I think together they can pull off some kind of special move in-game that shows they have incredible teamwork or something. The fic reminded me of the danmei novel God Level Summoner, but I think the general theme of “fallen champion player gets back on his feet and wins the league” is pretty common in esports stories. 

NOT FOUND! Love OP Please Nerf by LikeTheTide (T, 13k, WangXian, WIP, Esports, Gamer AU, Modern, Gaming, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, screw top and bottom whos the tank and whos the squishy dps, Slow Burn) Based purely on synopsis, could this be 13?

FOUND! 【为梦想而战】for this dream, i'll fight by paradisetrain (M, 27k, WangXian, JYL/MM, Modern, Gaming, Gamer AU, League of Legends, Video & Computer Games, Gaming Jargon, Social Media, Internet Hate, cancel culture, Hacking, Cheating Scandal, Internet Scandal, Bad Parenting, Parent Death, Loss of Parent(s), Family Issues, Family Feels, Healing, Falling In Love, Threatening unborn babies, Death threats to unborn babies, Blackmail, Implied Incest, Canon Typical Incest, Between JGY and QS, Illegal Activities, The game is League of Legends but with different names, Why do people on the same team all have the same surname?, just because, featuring:, WWX Goes Back to Gusu, WWX's canonical self-worth issues, LWJ's unconditional support of WWX) #13 might be this one - I've not read it, but my bestie says it might be the one.

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14. Hello! I'm looking for a fic that's is a university au, maybe lwj pov? In this fic, lwj is selectively mute and took a semester off from college to learn sign language so that he could communicate solely through that. When he meets wwx and his siblings, they can all speak with him because Madam yu is deaf and they know sign language because of her. I think wangxian meet at a cafe where wwx works? At some point point lwj is forced to make a speaking presentation in on of his classes and he prerecords a video to show in class instead due to his anxiety, also somewhwere in the story jiang cheng helps him through a panic attack. I swear I have looked all over AO3 for this fic, but I haven't been able to find it, so there's a chance it might have been deleted, but I hope you all can help!!!!! @kavlobebeki

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15. Hello, thank you for all your help! I am now looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian was raised as Jiang Cheng's whipping boy. This was a common practice among the gentry except for in the Lan clan. JC grew up and he tried not to do anything that would lead to WWX being whipped in his place but during the Cloud Recesses lectures Jin Zixuan demands WWX be whipped and JC can’t really stop it. Lan Wangji tried to intervene but Lan Qiren held him back saying not to get involved in other sect’s conflict. I think Meng Yao was also a designated whipping boy for Huaisang, possibly all the whipping boys for all the young masters also attended the lectures as manservants? I would love to read this again, if anyone can find it! @gloriousclotpole

FOUND? the price of a home by JemTheKingOfSass (T, 13k, JC & WWX, Whipping Boy AU, Pre-Canon, Canon verse events, TW details in top Notes of any chapter when necessary, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, the price of a home [podfic] by esbielle)

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16. I'm looking for a fic where the Lan are the most powerful sect, or maybe they were royalty, and take over Lotus pier because Lan Wangji thinks Wei Wuxian has very impolitely spurned his marriage proposal, only for it to be revealed that Madam Yu did it. @mullk6

FOUND? Warrior Prince by QteCuttlfish (M, 4k, WangXian, Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alpha/Omega, A/B/O, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Implied Mpreg, Not Canon Compliant)

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17. Hi can you help me find a wangxian fic where wei wuxian either runs away after the golden core transfer/did not participate in the war and works at an inn? He ends up finding and rescuing the wens and they work at the inn with him. Then lan wangji found him and so did jiang cheng at the end. @fjcfanatic

FOUND? The Taste of Home by For_the_Love_of_Bichen (E, 49k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Coffee Shops & Cafés, Bar/Pub, inn owner WWX, WWX never learns demonic cultivation, Human WWX, canon compliant up until the golden core removal, set in mdsz world, Fantasy Medical Procedures, Medical Procedures, Golden Core Transfer, Blood and Injury, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feels, canonical kinks, Anal Sex,bAnal Fingering, Oral Sex, Bathing/Washing, Dual Cultivation, LWJ & WWX Have a Breeding Kink, WWX Has a Rape/Non-Con Kink, mild cnc kink, mentioned cnc kink, no actual cnc play, Mild Breeding Kink, Drunk LWJ, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Slow Burn, Possessive LWJ, First Time, LWJ Has a Praise Kink, WWX Has No Golden Core, WWX Has Self-Worth Issues)

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18. Hi, I really hope you find this fic! It was WIP which I found only a few months ago. I think it's Jiang bashing altogether because the last chapter ended with Jiang yanli giving tea to Jiang fengmian saying she will take care of something. I tried the "Jiang yanli is not an angel" tag but I cannot find it. Can you help me with this one please?

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19. For some reason scrolled by this fic when browsing through someone's bookmarks and now cannot remember whose, so must turn to you once again! Time travel by Jin Zixuan. Judging by the summary, I think he comes back to awareness in the middle of the fight with Wei Wuxian at Cloud Recesses; he wonders about the fact that he's sure he was bleeding out just a moment ago, then about the fact that WWX suddenly looks a lot younger but still very angry. @linderel

Had no idea that there would be several fics with that premise but then again, perhaps not surprising! Sadly, none of the three suggested for #19 so far sound right. I'll probably still read them at some point.

additionally, about #19: I'm fairly certain that the summary mentioned JZX bleeding out or something, which none of the suggestions have. I also went back to dig through several authors' bookmarks myself but alas, no luck yet; not even any of the suggested ones has popped up

NOT FOUND 一寸光阴一寸金, 寸金难买寸光阴 by orphan_account (G, 11k, JYL/JZX, JC/WQ, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, JZX Tries, JZX Has Friends, (frenemies really but still), Canon Divergence, Temporary Character Death, JZX-centric, Reconciliation, Everyone Lives, Socially Awkward JZX, Second Chances, Cloud Recesses, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Pining, JZX can see the love, Matchmaker JZX, did he sign up for this? no but he's gonna try anyways)

NOT FOUND Brittle Steel Slicing Through by meyari (T, 19k, JYL/JZX, WangXian, Major Character Death, Sunshot Campaign, War, aftermath of war, PTSD, Warning: Jin Guangshan, fuck that guy, murder as a method of problem solving, murder as a flirtation method, learning to communicate for idiots, Time Travel Fix-It, Jin Murder-Babies FTW, Fluff and Crack)

NOT FOUND 🔒 Rise of the Peacock by JustAWanderingBabbit (Not Rated, 70k, JZX & JGY, JYL/JZX, 3zun, WIP, Canon Divergence, Re:Birth/Transmigration, Drabble to Full Story, JZX is all grown up in a boy's body, Time to save the world, Or at least save JZX's chest cavity, I just love saving JGY, Definitely NOT Untamed timeline, Reasonably intelligent gamers, The Jin Brothers are a team, Attempted Sexual Assault, unwanted sexual touching)

NOT FOUND With you, I can fight the World by Weiyingbestboy (G, 2k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, JC & WWX & JYL, JZX & WWX, Everyone Lives, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, JC is so done, JZX and WWX Friendship)

FOUND! 🔒 long bygone burdens by humancorn (T, 17k, JYL/JZX, JZX & WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Time Travelling JZX, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, JZX-centric, JZX Tries, JZX & WWX Friendship, Wife Guy JZX, He's doing his best ok, Canon Divergence, mentions of corporal punishment) So none of the fics suggested for #19 were right but I finally braved the search function and found it myself! I think I skipped it because it wasn't Wangxian content 😅 Anyway, it was this

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20. hello! for the next fic finder, i’m looking for a fic where lqr ends up being able to hear wwx’s thoughts. there’s this distinct scene where lqr is traumatized by wwx jerking off to thoughts abt lwj. thank you!!

FOUND! Judge Softly by Chrononautical (E, 32k, WangXian, LSZ & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LXC & LQR, LQR & WWX, Accidental Voyeurism, Masturbation, Non-Consensual Mind Reading, Oblivious WWX, WWX Has Self-Worth Issues, Cloud Recesses, BAMF WWX, Genius WWX, sex makes WWX stupid, LQR Tries, It may be more accurate to say LQR learns to try, Suffering LQR, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Post-Canon Fix-It, mostly web series with a few influences from the broader canon, Ghosts, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gusu Lan Forehead Ribbon, Teacher LQR Mutual Pining, Longing, Playful Sex, Use Your Words, Canon-Typical Violence, Switching, Virgin WWX, Love Confessions)

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[ultimateluckystudent-writes]

Memory Lane

Rating: Explicit

Summary: You and Nagito reminisce about your time in the Neo-World Program, with some help from all the footage recorded by the Future Foundation. It turns out this includes a LOT of sex. What else happens when you strand teenagers in swimsuits together on an island? Luckily, Nagito seems as 'nostalgic' as you are.

Word Count: 4.5k

Tags/Themes: Semi-Public Sex, Public Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Doggy Style, Loss of Virginity, Floor Sex, Office Sex, Table Sex, Desk Se, xall the kinds of sex apparently, Cunnilingus, Blow Jobs, Creampie, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, but like through video, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, but of themselves, Sex Tapes, Beach Sex, Nipple Play, Slightly Dubious Massaging, dont know how else to tag that, Island Mode, Female Reader, She/her Pronouns for Reader

A/N: It's all under the cut bc even the first line is pretty explicit... uh... have fun!

READ ON AO3

By the time you found yourself face-down, cunt-up in front of Nagito Komaeda on the dingy floor of the old, once-abandoned building, you had only known him for two weeks. 

It was a flurry of mishaps and fumbles that seemed to happen in a blink of an eye, even when trying to recall it all to make sense of it. Even within the limited (tiny, frankly) amount of time you’d known him, you chalked it up to his luck without a second thought. You’d seen the spills he’d taken with Mikan- though, this, of course, was more than that.

“Fuu- uhh- uck,” You whined out, voice bouncing in time with the way Nagito desperately pistoned his hips back and forth, burying himself inside of you again and again at a dizzying speed. You hadn’t even had the time to fully remove your panties, which hung off of one thigh haphazardly, much less your clothes. The two of you had pushed your skirt and his jacket out of the way without a second thought.

It had started with a couple of touches that Nagito lingered on for just a millisecond too long, just enough for you to feel a base, instinctual reaction to realizing your silly, fleeting, once-thought-unrequited attraction was mutual. You remembered that morning, how you laughed at yourself for feeling a flutter of butterflies in your stomach when chores were being delegated at breakfast when you found out you’d be cleaning the building with him. But even then, you had just pictured brushing hands, maybe making him laugh, perhaps even engaging in a little banter that toed the line of flirty- but not this.

“S- so good, so good,” He whimpered. “You’re so in- incredibly tight- I never imagined- oh-” And you were more than inclined to agree with him. It was the bad teenage judgment and hormones that made it feel so good. The flush on your face, his panting breath, the hands on you that you couldn’t exactly call familiar but could no longer imagine ever thinking strange, it all ignited so quickly. The flash of well-fueled kindling given the right spark.

And of course- you couldn’t believe it was him. Nagito, with his soft smiles and self-deprecating comments and his stupid wallet chain. Over the course of the long, long days on the island gathering materials bright and early, finding Hope Fragments, and sharing meals and conversations together late at night, it felt like you’d known him- wanted him- for so much longer. 

“Komaeda,” Your fingers scratched against the tacky carpeting, trying to find purchase. Your knees were surely already rug burned and bruised. Still, you pleaded with him, “Fuck me, fuck me- oh, yes! H- harder!”

*

Within the room the Neo-World project pods were still held on the real Jabberwock Island, you peeked through your fingers as you held your hands over your face in shame at the explicit scene playing on one of the large screens. The quality of the speakers and graphics had been sacrificed slightly during the setup. It was clear the three leaders of the project had made do with what hardware they could find. It was perfectly serviceable, but the slightly grainy quality of it all only made it feel more like you were watching a homemade porno, or worse, the voyeuristic taping of a young couple by some pervert. The fact that it was you only made it a little better.

This was surely not what the Future Foundation had wanted when they’d asked you and your partner to sort through the old footage for key moments of the rehabilitation program.

“Oh God, we weren’t even on a first-name basis yet.” You groaned. Besides you, your boyfriend was watching with a distinct lack of shame you’d come to expect from him. He chewed at his knuckles absent-mindedly, the way he did when he focused in on something or became aroused in public. You wondered which one it was now. 

“...I suppose this is fortunate, in a way.” Nagito said finally, not taking his eyes off the screen. “I’m sure very few people can say they’ve captured a moment as intimate as losing their virginity on film.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure no one wants a tape of that!” You said shrilly. Of course, you had come to expect and admire his ability to find optimism in especially the strangest circumstances.

“Though, this was technically the second time we did that,” He murmured, almost to himself. It was too easy for your mind to bring back the once-faded memories of your time at Hope’s Peak, where many sessions of heavy petting finally culminated in working up the courage to bare yourselves fully to each other. On screen, Nagito was laughing breathlessly, mindlessly, as he swept back the hair that had begun to fall into his eyes.

“...so like, is it weird to find teenager you attractive now, or…” You trailed off as you listened to the much more full, musical sound of laughter spill from Nagito’s lips. You couldn’t help but admire him here, now, too. He’d only grown out his hair more, now tied back into a messy ponytail at the nape of his neck. The jutting angles of his bony body had filled out a bit and he wore his button-down quite well, even if he’d never broken the habit of wearing his collar and tie only half-done. His smile was warm and easy as he leaned back, relaxed in the rolling office chair, something you’d never seen back then. 

A particularly raucous set of moans distracted you from your admiration, and on-screen the both of you began to finish. He came across the curve of your ass with a blur of a hand and a bitten lip that did nothing to stifle him. It dripped down your legs and you moaned like it was the best part of it all.

“What a gentleman. Pulling out without asking.” You smirked. You hadn’t meant it as a tease, but it was clear he took it as one.

“Even then, I knew… with my luck…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

*

“Mmnn… ahh- ah…!” The moans and obscene wet noises coming from Nagito’s mouth echoed through the darkened dining hall. It was late, though perhaps not late enough to be splayed out across one of the tables for your boyfriend to be eating you out on his knees like a man starved. You were doing your best to keep quiet. You kept both hands clamped down- one was over your mouth, though the other had an iron grip on Nagito’s hair, pressing his face hard into your positively soaking core. However, this was likely the more discrete option, rather than letting him babble on like he tended to when overwhelmed.

You were dripping down onto the table; this was not exactly a part of your after-dinner cleaning duties, so to speak. But you had splashed water all over your skirt while doing the dishes and flashed him multiple times while trying to dry yourself off. Despite his best efforts, his hard-on was clear to you, and it had all been downhill from there.

His tongue lapped at your entrance lovingly, swirling his tongue over it and diving it deep within at sporadic moments, like he was trying to coax out any more of your wetness for him to taste. He himself was making more than enough with the way he was drooling. The mixture covered the bottom half of his face. When you caught glimpses of it, in between the long licks along the length of your slit, it shined in the dim lighting. 

His own hands struggled to keep up with two competing desires. Sometimes he dug his fingers into the skin of your thighs or spread your lips out to further delve into you, other times he palmed himself through his jeans, though he never unbuttoned the article of clothing, almost like he’d forgotten he could.

When you came a second time, your legs shook enough for both of you to struggle to keep them open. Finally, you pulled Nagito off of you. You both took a moment to simply catch your breath.

*

“Aww, I remember that one.” You cooed, continuing to slide your closer hand up and down Nagito’s thigh slowly, carefully. You went further and further up each time, but carefully avoided his bulge. “Do you remember? You came in your pants just eating me out.” He swallowed hard. Neither of you took your eyes away from the screen. He shifted in his seat and his legs spread a bit wider. He rubbed the back of his neck. He was trying to stay calm, to play the game, but it was clear he was restless already. The video in the background wasn’t any easier to pay attention to.

“Yes, I- I remember. I think I could tell when it happened, actually.” He mused. Without a word, he began to pull your seat closer to his. You couldn’t help but giggle as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “I couldn’t help it. I could barely contain myself already… I think you can see that.” He glanced pointedly at the screen. The two of you were hurriedly trying to clean up and leave, but were smiles and giggles the whole time, stealing kisses and distracting each other in equal measure.

“Yeah? And do you think you’re any better now?” You cocked your head- just enough to question him, just enough to kiss him. His face was only inches away from yours. His eyes flickered down to your lips. You moved your hand over his zipper, sliding just your fingertips over the outline of his cock experimentally, watching his expression closely. His eyelids threatened to flutter closed, but he resisted the urge. 

Slowly, he leaned in for a kiss, but just barely ghosted his lips over yours, close enough to feel him breathe. Neither of you closed the gap, instead choosing to simply look at the other, having fun with this game of chicken. His hand slid up the back of your shirt, his fingertips skimming across the sensitive skin there. Your back arched, inadvertently making you pull back just an inch. He cocked his head back at you- just enough to tease you, just enough to get away with it.

“Maybe time has given me a little more self-control.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips and pulled away to queue up another portion. “We have more footage to go through.”

*

“N- Nagito! I think that’s enough!”

“Hmm? Oh, not at all.” The two of you sat beneath a large beach umbrella. You sat back to front, with Nagito’s chin resting on your shoulder, fitting neatly alongside you as he ‘helped’ you apply more sunscreen. It had started on your back, but soon his hands moved around to your arms… then your stomach… and now they toyed underneath the edges of your bikini top. His hands roved over your skin at his leisure. His touches threatened to give you a wardrobe malfunction more and more with each passing section. You looked out towards the sea, where a couple of your friends were. It was surfing day, which meant that Akane and Nekomaru had taken a few people out. It also meant that they were pretty far out. You could barely make out who was who.

“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you ended up burned when I could have prevented it.” He was being very thorough, making sure nothing on you went untouched- your shoulders, your sides, the top of your chest left exposed by your swimsuit- nothing he didn’t happily rub cream into.

“I think you’ve done a much better job than I would have already- w- wait!” Nagito began to completely disregard what was covering your skin. His hands moved under it and massaged and groped your breasts. He clicked his tongue at you disapprovingly.  

“What a large spot to miss. Don’t worry, I’ll get it for you.” He purred, nuzzling into your neck. His hands continue spreading the sunscreen around onto your breasts, gliding over your skin easily, rubbing over your nipples as he did so. You pressed your legs together as the sparks his touches lit in your chest shot through your body. His thumbs circled over your buds attentively, slowly, interspersed with rolling them between his fingers. Then, all at once, his hands disappeared. “Ah, I’ll need more.” You tried to regain your mental footing as he grabbed the tube, and with his in front of you, squirted a generous amount into his hands and spread it evenly over them. Despite the heat, you shivered with anticipation. “There we go.” He ducked his head to kiss your neck. You squirmed at the sensation, only feeling even more tingly. While you were distracted, his hands snuck once more back under your swimsuit.

The cream was cold again on your skin, barely warmed by Nagito’s hands. You hissed at the sensation, though it broke into a moan halfway through as he continued to cover you with the cream. You glanced back at your friends. They seemed to be occupied with the large waves coming in. The luck of it all didn’t escape you. It was hard to relax with them in sight, but Nagito seemed determined to have you do exactly that.

“Your body is amazing, you feel so wonderful,” He gushed, “I don’t know why you trusted me with this task, but I’ll make sure it turns out as well as it can for you.”

“You’re- you’re doing a lot more than what I asked.” You tried to scold him, but your voice shook. The sight of the cream all over your chest conjured mental images of much more. The sudden, perverted impulse from Nagito was admittedly intoxicating, and he sounded more than happy about it. He felt more than happy about it; his bulge pressed against your back. If you were less frustrated with the time and place he’d chosen to do something like this, perhaps you would have ground against it. As it stood, you refused to help him move this along.

He ignored your comment. “Hmm, this is getting in the way.” He pulled at your top. “I’ll just have to… ah, but my hands are occupied.”

“I’m not taking it off!” You half-whispered, despite nobody being nearly close enough to hear you.

“That’s alright, you won’t have to lift a finger. In fact, stay exactly as you are.” He pressed his lips against the back of your neck. You swallowed hard, thinking he was going to kiss you once more, but instead, you felt him move in a pattern you didn’t understand. That is, until you felt the strings of your bikini tug and then loosen all at once-

“Nagito!” You gasped, as your top fell off. You rushed to cover yourself, pulling it against your chest as best you could, inadvertently trapping his hands against you. “You- you- eek!” He only began his ministrations once more. “W- wait, we could- let’s turn around-”

“I don’t believe you’re supposed to tense so much during a massage.” He pushed your arms away. You tentatively let your arms and the clothing drop. Your face and frankly, entire body felt hot and you knew you couldn’t blame it solely on the sun. You pulled your knees up, hoping it would cover you enough. Your bare chest was now out in the open, though shaded by a tilted umbrella and shielded from view by your legs and boyfriend’s hands. “Much better.” He chirped, all too smugly. Now, however, you were slightly worried that if anyone approached from the ocean, they’d be able to see the huge wet spot in your bottoms. You supposed you should take it one problem at a time.

*

“You were absolutely… incorrigible that day.” You swallowed hard. You gripped the edges of the desk tightly, watching the footage recorded on the camera that had been at the perfect angle to catch you two in the act. After all of this, you were starting to wonder if the man whose lap you were perched atop had wanted to be seen on the cameras. You wouldn’t have doubted it. You pulled at the hem of your skirt, hoping what was on the tops of your legs was enough to cover what was happening underneath, and Nagito’s own unbuttoned and undone pants. You squeezed the walls of your pussy around him, but of course, did not otherwise move from your spot with his cock all the way inside you. 

He let out a shaky breath. “It- It was the first time I’d seen you in your swimsuit. I- I couldn’t help myself.” His leg bounced rapidly, trying to contain himself. He wasn’t much better at that, even now. It had only been a couple of minutes after you’d pushed your panties aside and taken a seat on his cock, but he seemed practically ready to burst. You mused that you’d have your fun regardless of if he needed to cum like this or if he could hold out to fuck you when you were satisfied.

“Yeah, you were never that handsy again.” You took his hand and kissed his knuckles. He shuddered. His hips twitched. You rocked your own the tiniest bit as punishment. He squeaked and dug his fingers into your sides. 

“I guess I got it out of my system.” His strained voice said. In truth, you also adjusted because you simply couldn’t take how deep he was inside of you. He was more than stretching you out- you could feel the head of his cock reaching as far as you could take it. It almost didn’t seem real how much was inside of you, how snug everything was, how it felt like he was just shy of too big to be doing this. You had to move so he wasn’t pressed so much against your cervix. You were sure that by now, you were starting to drip around the base of his cock. You hoped it wouldn’t stain his pants. It wouldn’t be too much longer, now.

*

“You- you- you!” You shoved Nagito hurriedly inside the beach house, still clutching your untied top to your chest until you were inside. Nagito finally looked guilty as you pressed him against the wall with your free hand. “I- I am so- you-” You sputtered. He shrank a bit, clearly waiting for you to berate him. You dropped to your knees and pulled down his swim trunks.

Nagito gasped and moaned at once as your hand wrapped around his cock. You stroked it quickly, pausing only for a second to spit into your hand for lubricating. His knees buckled and he sank a bit down against the wall.

“Is this what you wanted?” You huffed, licking him up from base to tip with no warning. He cursed under his breath. “Is this what you were hoping for?” You squeezed your grip a bit harder, tightening up as you worked him. It twitched in your hand. His cock was flushed, hard, and clearly eager. You heard his nails scratch at the wall. He could only whimper in response to your questions. Only moans fell from his lips. “Naughty boy.” You met his eyes as you kissed the tip of his cock, flicking your tongue out to lick up the large bead of precum that had formed there. He was panting, face flushed, and mouth open in both disbelief and pleasure. “But such a cute one.” You opened your mouth and took as much of him as you could all at once. He cried out in surprise. You didn’t give him a second to get adjusted before beginning to bob your head back and forth around it.

His dick was hot and heavy in your mouth. He smelled like his musk and sunscreen. You liked blowing him when he let you- and he was the only man you’d ever met who would refuse a blowjob- for all the little things you noticed each time. The way he shifted and squirmed when you used your mouth on him, though you hadn’t realized just how abashed he was about it until the first time that he’d had to cover his mouth with his hands. Something about it and the knit in his brows made you understand exactly why he was always so bright red. 

Nagito would never ask you to do this, but he clearly loved it. When he wasn’t covering your face, his hands would shake as they hovered around your head anxiously, doing his best not to grab at you, or do anything that would rush you in anyway (despite how much you wanted to see it). And when you surprised him enough, you would get to see just how quickly you could make him hard. He would forget to keep himself quiet, and Nagito was already a very vocal person in and out of bed. You got to hear everything unfettered. Today, however, he was more than already in the mood.

You used your hand to stroke what you couldn’t fit in your mouth so easily. You moved it in sync with your quick rhythm. Your other hand absent-mindedly bunched into his trunks, something to ground yourself with as you lost yourself to pleasing him.

“You’re amazing, oh! your mouth is- your mouth is so amazing- ah, I don’t deserve to even s- see you on your knees, much less th- this- yes, yes, yes, yes-” He finally stopped babbling when you changed your pattern up to get your lips wrapped all the way around the base of his cock. You gagged slightly and had to pull off. It was fine, because the way you’d been drooling around him made it even easier to jack him off. You licked at the underside of his head, a place you knew he was particularly sensitive. He rewarded you with an extra loud keen- one that if you had any rational brain left would have made you wonder if they could hear you outside of the room. However, right now, you had only one thought on your mind.

“You should let me do this more often.” You said, before you were sucking his cock once more.

*

“I was r- right-” Your mouth fell into a sloppy grin as your boyfriend bent you over the desk. You shoved papers and electrical appliances on the table onto the floor that you already knew would be a bitch to clean up later. He had slipped out of you while you’d gotten adjusted, but you were so wet it was easy for him to push right back into you. You sighed with satisfaction. You’d felt quite empty in the couple of moments he wasn’t in you. 

Nagito grabbed your arm, pulling it behind you to find leverage. His other hand pressed against the desk.“You were incredibly right.” He said in a voice that made you think he would have agreed to anything he said. But, as he thrusted into you, deep and sudden, you felt rather agreeable yourself. The movement sent a jolt through your body, pushing your face up. Your eyes fell naturally back onto what was happening.

You hadn’t gotten to see Nagito’s expression well while you were on your knees, but you could see his lips curved into a dazed-looking, open-mouthed smile. It was probably a lot like the one you had on your face now. You also hadn’t realized exactly how Nagito was looking at you- soft, besotted and adoring. Had he looked at you like that all this time?

“Please,” Nagito begged on screen. He was finally clutching your hair. His head moved back and forth, trying to keep up with the feeling. “Please, please, please, please-” You couldn’t even tell what he had been begging for- not then, not now. But just like then, it turned you on to no end. Nagito groaned particularly loudly behind you. It seemed he agreed.

“I- I should have been on my knees for you-”

“You did that in- in the other one.” You managed to say. The desk dug into your hipbones. On screen, you dug your fingers into Nagito’s hip bones. “It’d be b- boring!” Your voice moved in time with the way he fucked you, like he was pushing buttons you didn’t know about. You arched your back for him. It reminded you of the first video of the two of you had seen. You knew now exactly how much he’d liked it then.

“Are you gonna cum, pervert?” You teased him on screen. Your hand was relentless on him. “You wanna cum all over my chest?”

“Oh- oh- this is- is going to kill me-” He responded.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” You snickered. You popped the tip back into your mouth and didn’t stop. Behind you, Nagtio sped up. He took the hand behind you with his, lacing your fingers together and squeezing. 

“You were so b- beautiful then, you’re so beautiful now- so tight-”

“I’m glad that’s still true,” You grinned at the screen, even though he couldn’t see it. The Nagito you could see was shaking visibly. You knew those desperate little squeaks anywhere. “Oh look at you,” You groaned, feeling a rush of lust. “You’re about to cum- why have we not made a sex tape on purpose?” Nagito laughed behind you. You squeezed his hand back.

“I- I’m gonna-” On screen Nagito warned. It was all the had to say before you were pointing his cock over your chest and open mouth. With one particularly high-pitched moan, he began to cum all over you, and you accepted it eagerly. You got to see yourself covered in Nagito’s cum. How debased you looked, how much he enjoyed it.

“You were covered in my- you let me- you wanted-” Your boyfriend babbled behind you. “Hah… it’s h- having the same effect even now,” His voice was thick with a loving tone that reminded you of the expression he’d made in the video. You realized that he still looked at you like that.

“Inside, inside, inside,” You pleaded, moving your hips to meet him in his thrusts. You were also close.

“Yes, yes!” The desk shook with the force of his movements. You could hear files and supplies rattling around in their drawers. If you were going to have to fix everything, you wanted to do it with Nagito’s cum still dripping out of you.

“Nagito, Nagito- ah- I- I love you- ohh!”

“I love you,” He echoed at once, “I love you, I love you, I love you- I-” With that, he fulfilled your request, burying himself inside of you as he came, filling you up even more with it. Your eyes rolled up at the feeling and you followed him soon after. Your hands both trembled within each other’s, but held firm nonetheless. Even after all this time, Nagito made you feel that hot, addictive feeling you couldn’t find anywhere else. Your mind blanked save for his words, which echoed around your head. Even still, Nagito filled you with that hot, Nagito didn’t stop until a long moment had passed and he began to soften. You recovered hand-in-hand. Finally, he spoke again. But after, you wished he hadn’t.

“...Do you think they asked us to sort through these because of all of the, er, time we spent together?”

“...oh God.”

[badlydrawndoc-scratch]

don't really have time or energy to draw this right now so. you're getting it in writing instead

It's not your birthday. At best, you would call it a day that someone who was you once was familiar with.

One that he didn't like either. Sure, you'd pretend to be him for a bit, accept some birthday wishes for him. But it wasn't your birthday. Not to you, at least. You think they all understand, to a point. Dirk does, at least.

That was why you weren't prepared to humour this conversation.

TG: this is hal isnt it

TG: not mad jst

TG: how do i say this?

TT: It seems there's a fairly large chance you're accusing me of not being myself, based off of a totally bullshit statistic.

TT: Care to elaborate?

TG: if u want me to tell u happy birthday 2 i can lmao

TG: dont hafta be weird about impersonatin dirk for that!!!

TT: I...

TT: Sorry. Holdon.

TT: There we go.

TT: As I was about to say, it's not technically my birthday. It's Dirk's. I wasn't even created today.

TT: I'll relay your well-wishes to him whenever he returns. Don't need to ask me about it.

TG: hmm nah i think i like havin' a hold of u for this

TG: if ur like

TG: not REALLY him

TG: but have his memories and shit

TG: todays ur day too

TG: so happy b-day! im not takin' that back either!

TT: ...

TT: I should go.

TT: Dirk probably won't like me monopolizing his account, even if he isn't here.

TT: Thanks, I guess.

You log off without another word, back in your sort-of space. Maybe you'll check in with Jane in a bit. Maybe you'll go through the internet for no apparent reason.

You can't say that that made you feel human. Or that it made you feel better, but... it made you think. It made you feel something. That was a start, right?

---

A firm series of slaps to the back of the cue-ball/head drags you out of your reverie. It's Itchy, hand poised to continue slapping you if you don't acknowledge him.

"Apologies. I must have became lost in thought," you begin, "as tends to happen with the omniscient. That said, there are better ways to get my attention."

Itchy shrugs and tells you he doesn't give a shit. He was just the fastest. The Felt needs you for somethin'. Somethin' he can't tell you about.

"Vague and somewhat sarcastic as always, Itchy. Just get to the point."

He just tells you you're no fun, before half dragging you out of one of your many studies. The whole manor is technically your study. But especially this one.

Itchy only bothers to take you about halfway, to where Crowbar is standing and waiting. He hardly says goodbye before dashing off to who-knows-where, probably to cause trouble somewhere else.

You pretend you don't know what's being hidden from you. You could figure out, and in the back of your mind you have figured out. But surprise is an emotion you like trying to fake.

Sometimes you wish you weren't faking it.

Crowbar walks up to you, with some off-handed comment about how he didn't expect Itchy to get you there on time. Or at all. He can never tell. Nonetheless, he's slightly more gentle when he offers you his hand, like he's not about to effectively drag you across an entire manor.

You don't remember the last time you've had actual contact with someone in a way that wasn't violent. You're not sure it's ever happened, honestly. (In reality, you know that isn't true. You were an indigoblood once, you recall. It's not as clear as the other memories, though.)

Crowbar's hand is felted, unsurprisingly, almost like a pool table. Again. Unsurprising. It's never surprising, but you commit the texture to memory anyway, all but ignoring what he's actually talking about. Something about a celebration.

He says they got the table stickball table fixed, and your attention is drawn again.

"Just call it a pool table."

He says he doesn't feel like it. It's a ball you hit with a stick on a table. Ain't a pool in sight. You agree, silently. The Alternian names for things were as foreign as they were ingrained; you knew them as much as you didn't know them.

Eventually, you're led into what you believe is the living room, and Crowbar lets go of your hand. You don't immediately adjust to the lack of feeling in your hand, almost like you were... severely touch-starved, actually, or something.

That's ridiculous, of course. You aren't technically alive, even if you're not as "soon to die" as you once were.

Someone, you think it could be Quarters, explains that all the Felt knows it isn't technically your birthday, and that it's only such by a few tangents. (You mentally add on that you weren't even created today).

But, Quarters adds, you've been stuck in a rut of sorts for a while. It wasn't really anyone's idea, he says. But it was agreed that it might get you feeling better for a while.

And, for once, you feel surprise. You never thought that they actually cared. Or even noticed. You're just their boss, of course. You're hardly even there.

(You have spent the past few months only leaving the Manor when you absolutely have to.)

You can't say it makes you feel alive. Or better, really. But it made you think. It made you feel something.

And, as you're dragged to play table stickball with Trace and Sawbuck, you decide that's a start.

[rin-hanarin]

There's this 11 years old Homestuck fic that forever changed my perception of the post scratch timeline called Like Forgetting the Words.

I think about it sometimes and I imagine Rose and Jade would remember important bits and pieces, but Dave and John wouldn't. Alpha Dave gets the shades and the bunny, "had brief obsession with Con Air" according to Dirk, built and entire memorabilia museum, but he doesn't consciously remember. He'd watch things John Crocker was starring in by accident and have a good laugh at how dumb and friend shaped he is and get an unbearable sense of longing for something, but he wouldn't remember anything still. Then one day Rose takes him to some random grave in Washington and says that she needs to visit a friend, and she brings flowers and talks to the stone, and Dave just kinda watches her do that. She asks him vague questions and he has no answers, so he one day comes back alone to the grave and brings red flowers, saying something like "thats probably blasphemy or some shit i hope your family doesnt freak out if they ever see that". He finds the meaning of these flowers in a book by a certain J. English Rose conveniently gifts him one day, and it's something really specific, written in a manner young girl would write and not a famous old rich woman. He comes back to the grave every year in April, talks about whatever at it and has one-sided conversations with himself, and wishes "John" a Happy 13th one day in 2009 and finds it hysterical that it's the date of his death on the gravestone for some reason. He comes to the grave one last time after killing the juggalos because he thinks he saw a flash of blue there and says that he "wanted to bring these motherfuckers heads to you didnt you hate clowns or something? thats kinda fucked up now that i think about it i dont wanna defile your grave with these pieces of shit bro my bad". He dies to the Condesce and thinks that maybe he'd get to see them again.

Young John Crocker would spend hours listening to clocks ticking and writing in journals in different colors, trying to find the right one with the right voice to go with it. He ends up being left behind by his sister, the last thing remaining is her garden with a wide selection of rose plants, so he looks after it to pass the time, begging of Betty not to destroy it. He has a great interest in film and the way it develops during 1900s, but never someone to share it with, and he so desperately wants to that he end up writing his every thought about it like he's writing a letter to someone. He would collect vinyl records and scratch them sometimes for no apparent reason, and asks his son in his will to auction his collection some day after his death, only for some rich movie director to buy them later for such an obscene amount of money that Mr. Crocker expects him to ask for a refund. He never remembers anything, but his family recalls how detached he was sometimes, like his thoughts were in a completely different world, and in the end of the day no amount of movie roles and comedy gigs made him any less lonely.

[lizard-shifter-noms]

Wayward Waters Chapter 6

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Hello everyone! Chapter 6!

time to explore more of the world!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always Reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

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I blinked and slowly woke up, seeing a wooden ceiling.

My head felt heavy and my thoughts foggy.

Did I fall off the mast?

“Whhuh?”

I tried to sit up but a somewhat webbed hand forced my head back onto the pillow.

“Please stay on the bed for now, we don't know how exactly you will react to Rimkir root so don't move”

What root? And reacting to it?

My vision was still blurry and my head foggy but I felt like I was in the wrong place.

“Wha hapn?”

I felt extremely confused, the last thing i could recall was, uhh..

Oh right, sitting on top of the mast and having a FUCKING Panic attack!

I tried to sit up but the half webbed hands shoved me down again.

“I said to stay put! Does nobody ever listen to medical advice? You're just as bad as Ronan!”

I blearily looked up at the person I could now identify as Imik.

And I had almost forgotten that Ronan was also somewhere in the ship.

“Wha? Did he wake up? Wait what happened to me? Why am I not on the mast anymore?”

Imik looked tired, at least from what I could see and I suddenly felt bad.

It wasn't their fault, they shouldn't have to deal with my shit.

“He woke up a few hours ago, He's better now but tried to walk around right away. 

I ended up tucking the blankets so tight that he can't move anymore.

As for you, well you had a pretty bad panic attack.

We ended up sedating you so we could get you down from Jamie's nest, which was kind of a logistical nightmare.

Do you feel any better now?”

Sedating me? Was that what the sweet smelling thing had been?

“Uh, im better now, my brain foggy tho”

Imik absentmindedly nodded and then bent down to fetch something from the floor.

He then handed me a big glass filled with clear water.

“Drink something, I'll have to go and see if Ronan managed to wiggle out of the bed, but you can just yell if you need anything else”

With that he left and I was alone in a small room that definitely belonged to someone else.

There were knicknacks strewn about and half a shirt looked out of a chest that had been shoved into a corner, making it look like the wooden thing was sticking its tongue out.

I stared at the glass, wondering whose room I was in, judging by the sizing of things it definitely wasn't Jamie’s, if they even had a normal room aside from the nest thing.

Whatever, I smelled the water to make sure it wasn't salty before slowly drinking it.

My brain still felt a little foggy but compared to the panic attack I preferred it.

I laid back on the bed and just stared at the ceiling for a while.

All of this sucked, like a LOT.

Man, I wanted home!

I kept laying there for half an hour feeling extremely bored.

At least until I heard footsteps on the other side of the apparently rather thin wooden wall if the sound of voices was anything to go by.

“...-anic attacks really suck, what are we supposed to do if he gets another one?” “Well for one not let him climb the mast again! What was the big idea for that anyway?” “It wasn't my Idea! I think he wanted to climb it out of curiosity!”

“And you let him? No wait, I bet you even taunted him for every mistake he made while climbing!”

“So what?”

“Guys, calm down”

“So what? SO WHAT? You keep egging people on! On the stupidest of things! I swear one of these days someone is going to jump in an underwater volcano because of you!”

“I assume im being ignored for the sake of anger once again”

“No, that's just not true! Unlike most people I've met, I know when to stop!” “Really? You do? What about the time you-‽  MMPh!”

“That was one time! You're really gonna harp on THAT Forever?”

“Jamie take your foot out of Imiks face please”

Okay what was going on out there?

I stood up and went to the door, opening it to a rather comedic sight.

Jamie had their clawed foot in Imiks face and squished his cheeks while Imik gripped Jamie's arm and tried to push them away to no avail.

Also I was pretty sure the position they were in was only possible due to Jamies weird legs seeing as they were both rather contorted and tried to strangle each other.

They froze when tha saw me in the position they were in, with Jamie half of the ground, foot in Imiks face and Imik trying to wrestle Jamie away.

Also Akeem was behind them.

Both Jamie and Imik looked at me.

“Ignore this!” “Didn't I tell you to rest?”

Came it from them in unison.

“It's a bit hard to rest when you guys are so loud, what are you even doing?”

They let go of each other, Jamie somehow not falling over.

“Nothing important!”

They said at the same time only to be suddenly grabbed and lifted off the ground by Akeem, leaving their legs dangling out of reach of the floor.

“Apologies Donovan, we will stop bothering you now”

I just stared at him for a second.

Then Jamie wriggled around and started scratching his face with their clawed feet, creating the sound of cat claws on a tile floor.

Despite the assault on his face he didn't even flinch, or blink.

Must be nice to be able to not give a single fuck about that.

“Uh, okay? I do feel better now, how's Ronan?”

Imik pointed two doors down the hall before he and Jamie were dragged away by Akeem.

Jamie still trying to scratch his face unsuccessfully.

Well, that was weird. 

I walked to the door Imik had pointed at and knocked softly.

I felt better now and just laying around was not doing me any favors, Might as well see how Ronan is doing.

“Ronan? Are you awake?”

I heard some rustling sounds and a dull thump, What the hell was he doing?

“Door is unlocked! You can come in!”

Of course the door was unlocked, scatterbrained as he was.

I slowly opened it and saw Ronan lying on the bed, only half under the covers and with his feet on the headrest.

So the sounds I had heard were him jumping back into bed.

He looked at me confusedly.

“Oh, uh, Donovan? You're… smaller”

Oh right, last he saw of me was when I turned Giant to transport him out of the Eel pit.

“Yep, it's me, how are you? 

The eel bites looked nasty, do you feel any better?”

He nodded despite the weird angle he was laying in.

“I feel better! Still incredibly sore though, and there is one nasty bite on my lower arm! Look at it!”

He held his arm up and began undoing the bandages.

I looked on for a second in shock before swiftly walking up to him and stopping him by holding his free arm away from the bandages.

“I believe you! I think you should let the bandages stay on, if you're so keen on showing me you can just get me the next time you change them okay?”

He looked disappointed but relented luckily.

“Sooo how come you're smaller? And two legged? OH! Can you shapeshift into anything else? And how do you do it? Can you use magic? If so, what kind?”

I was taken aback a little by the wall of questions he threw at me.

“Can you maybe ask one question at a time? I barely remember the first one you asked!”

He stopped talking and blinked confusedly.

“Oh sorry! So should I start again but slower?”

I looked at him with a deadpan face.

“As far as i know you should be resting, and i'm pretty sure i heard you running around, i just came in here to see how you're doing”

“Oh come on! I'll be fine! Ain't the worst that's happened to me! And I was just at the window! I wanted to let Imugi know I'm better!”

As nice as wanting to tell his Sea Serpent that he was okay now was he really shouldn't run around with what was essentially a lot of small lightning damage.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, still not feeling all that good myself yet.

“Five questions, but then you have to promise to rest as long as Akeem says”

Akeem seemed the most level headed out of them so this seemed reasonable to me, besides I did not want Ronan to injure himself further.

His face seemed to light up at the prospect of getting to ask Five questions though and I felt like I'd regret that soon enough.

“Okay! Deal! Soo first question uhhh, 

OH! How many forms can you shapeshift into?”

At least he picked an easy one for the first question.

“Three, the fuzzy green thing you saw, which is called an Ardua by the way, the Giant one and this human sized one, that's all”

“What? Only that? Man and here I was hoping for a cool dragon or something! 

So wait, I just remembered you barely ate anything as the… Ardua you called it? Do the plants on your back do photosynthesis? And can you use their energy?

Question number two, and quite an observant one, especially for a scatterbrained guy like him.

“Yes to both of those, like plants i can get get energy from sunlight if i'm in that form, which is pretty practical”

His eyes went wide and he started fiddling with the blanket.

“Ohhh! Man that must be awesome to not need to eat! 

If Imik didn't remind me I'd forget it sometimes!

Okay next question, number three right?

Your Giant form looked really tall! Any idea how tall exactly?”

How tall? Well he was in luck that had just been very recently measured.

“According to Jamie who measured me out of Boredom i'm forty five feet tall, no idea if that's accurate though”

“Forty five??? Fuck that's really tall! And I doubt Jamie made a mistake in measuring, they helped in the past measuring things in the past and it was always pretty accurate, so it's probably correct!”

So Jamie was right about me being forty five feet tall,  good to know that I was garbage at estimating my own height.

“Okay question four! Uhhh, what's your preferred form? Like the fuzzy one? Or the Giant one? Which one?”

My favorite form? Hmmm, each had their advantages and drawbacks.

The Ardua form looked scary and had no thumbs, the Giant one was strong but didn't fit in a house, The human form did fit in a house but was comparatively weak.

“Uhh to be honest no idea, they all have their advantages and drawbacks like, the fuzzy one does not have thumbs, the Giant one is too big for a lot of things, and the human sized one is weak compared to the other two.

I guess i like the Ardua form for sleeping though, in that form even sleeping on the floor is somewhat comfy”

He nodded wildly and seemed to think for a moment.

“Okay, Question number five, How do you shift? Is it like magic? Or more Biologically? I've seen Merfolk that can change their tail into legs and back! Is it like that?”

Of course that's what he HAD to ask, ugh, but I told him I'd answer five questions so that's what i was gonna do, not like he could use the bracelet anyway.

I held up the arm with the bracelet and tapped it.

“Don't tell anyone but this thing lets me shift, and no you can't use it, it's locked to the genetic code or whatever Oakley called it, meaning if anyone without the necessary genes puts it on they will die.

So do NOT under any circumstances put it on, you hear me?” He nodded, gaze transfixed on the reflective material of the bracelet.

“That is so cool! 

As soon as we're back to base you have to show me all the forms!”

Well, that went better than expected, at least he wasn't asking to wear it himself but maybe the warning did come across to his brain properly.

“I'm fine with that, the sooner we get there the sooner you get to poke at the forms and the sooner I can get back home!” He nodded frantically, nearly tearing holes in his blanket with his nails.

“Oh if you help me to the window I can tell Imugi to go extra fast! And tell her I'm fine! I didn't quite make it to the window before you came in…”

He admitted and I rolled my eyes, this guy's self preservation was Garbage at best.

“Alright, just don't complain to me when your wounds reopen!”

“Oh don't worry! I have a high pain tolerance!”

That comment made me think back to Fable,  the poor guy also had no idea what happened to me.

God, I missed him as well.

“That does not sound as reassuring as you think!”

He just shrugged and I helped him stand up by slinging one of his arms over my shoulder, idly noting he was about the same height as me.

Then I slowly maneuvered him to be right next to the window which he immediately opened.

“IMUGI!”

There was an excited whistle click sound and suddenly Imugi was in front of the bullseye shaped window which was too small to let her fit her head in.

Not that she didn't try tough.

Ronan just stuck his hand out instead.

“I'm fine girl, and I'd be even better the faster we reach home. 

Can you be a dear and bring us to Kariba Island as fast as possible?”

Imugi made a weird sound that was a mix of chirping and whistling and dived under and out of sight again.

Only a moment later there was a tug on the boat and I could literally feel how we went faster.

I held onto Ronan so he wouldn't fall over.

“Man she's fast! And she's towing the entire boat!” Ronan laughed at that.

“Yes! She can hold that tempo for quite some time as well! You should see her zoom around without being tied to the boat! I even made a saddle! I keep falling off though so I gotta tinker on it still!”

I wasn't sure what surprised me more, that the Sea serpent could hold this tempo for an entire day or that Ronan made an entire fucking saddle for her.

Okay the saddle somehow surprised me less, and even less that he still had to tinker on it.

“A saddle? Really? I hope you can hold your breath well then! 

Now let's get you back to bed”

He grinned and nodded, half hanging over my shoulder like a wet cat.

“Fine by me! A deal is a deal! And I got to tell Imugi I'm fine so that's even better!”

I gently guided him back to bed and set him on it properly, not the weird upside down thing he did before. 

“Oh before you go! Could you hand me a book to read? Its so fucking boring just laying around!”

While talking he pointed at a closet that was built into the wall of the room with lockable drawers.

The keys for it were on a hook right next to it that was bent so much the ship would have to be upside down for them to fall off.

I took the keys and opened the drawer he had pointed at, seeing a total of ten books, picking two random ones I chucked them on the bed where Ronan immediately grabbed them like a possessive drake.

“Thanks! Finally less boredom! Also I hope when we get there we'll find a way to get you back to your friends!”

I stopped for a moment where I was in the doorway.

“Thank you for helping, now just focus on getting better Imugi had looked so sad when you got Injured!”

That seemed to surprise him.

“She did? Ough, I gotta apologize for that later to her!”

“Not only her, Jamie, Akeem and Imik where also worried as fuck!”

With that i left the room and closed the door behind me.

Man, what a chaotic bunch, but at least we were closer to that Kariba island now. 

Maybe I should ask them if they got a map of the island?

Knowing what it looked like might be nice.

On the way back to the deck I ran into Jamie, who immediately grabbed my arm with one of their bird leg claws, and dragged me along.

Man they were strong for someone so small, first getting dragged into the nest and now I was forced to keep up while they only hopped forwards on one leg.

“You GOTTA see what Island we are going past right now! And it's just the right season too!”

Island? Right season? What?

“Wait a second, what do you mean? 

Why are you dragging me to see an island? 

Are we going to stop there?”

They just shook their heads, dragging me onto the deck and towards the railing.

“Nah, we ain't gonna stop! So that's why you have to look now!”

Well, I had no idea what this was about if we weren't even stopping at that island but I still looked if only to stop Jamie from digging their claws in even more.

The island we were sailing past was VERY colorful and looked to be completely overgrown by every flower possible in this climate, giving it an almost unreal appearance.

“How many flowers are there? And how come they all grow there?”

Jamie just grinned widely, showing a pair of dull fangs.

“Ha! I knew the guy with plants on his back would like this! 

Apparently some odd years ago a ship that was supposed to bring lots of rare flower seeds to who knows where got stranded on the island and broke in two! 

The seeds were just left there and at some point started growing!”

All the flowers were from a single shipwreck? 

Wow, I was almost tempted to ask them to stop the boat so I could try and get some for Robin but that would mean wasting even more time.

Suddenly a webbed hand grabbed the railing from outside,  heaving the attached body onboard again.

It was, of course, Imik.

He also had a little burlap bag slung over his shoulder.

“I found some seeds that were waterproof packaged! Part of the wreck is actually still there! Just underwater!”

Man Imik had to be a fast swimmer to get there and back while we drifted past it, the island wasn't really all that big even.

He then reached into the bag and tossed me a little thumb sized box made out of bronze, shaking it I could hear lots of little things hit against each other.

“Here! You can have one! I doubt those contain any plant that's not already growing on the island!”

“Oh, uh, thank you, I actually know someone that would love this!”

He grinned, which showed a mouth full of shark-like teeth, and gave a thumbs up.

“Great! I myself am quite bad at keeping plants alive for longer than a week anyway!”

He then speed walked away to the door into the ship,  his webbed feet making a weird plap, plap noise as he walked.

Yep, chaotic bunch.

I stowed the thumb sized box away in the little bag that already contained the fossilized sea star for Fable.

Looking back at the island I noticed Jamie had used their claws to hold onto the railing and squat down like a bird would.

They really looked like a chicken right now with the way they sat on the wood.

I decided not to mention it and instead watch the flower island until it was out of sight.

It was really pretty, man I wished my friends could see this, Especially Robin! He'd love this!

At some point Jamie walked off,  going back up the mast to be the lookout again.

The island was out of sight now, Imugi was really fast, and strong, so i had nothing to do now.

I had already checked in on Ronan, Jamie was back up the mast and I was absolutely NOT climbing that again.

Maybe I could ask Akeem or Imik for something to do? Oh wait, Imik wanted to show me how to properly hold my breath for a really long time!

Then we got interrupted by the chaos on the eel island and kinda forgot.

Not to mention the fact I had a panic attack.

Yep, not fun.

I walked through the door I had seen Imik disappear into and found myself in a room filled with shelves and boxes, all nailed or screwed down so they would fall over should the ship be hit by a bigger wave.

The shelves themself were so constructed that they had drawers instead of bare wood to place things on, and every single one was lockable in a way that would prevent them from sliding open unprompted.

Quite an architectural feat in my opinion, and considering that Imik mentioned he was a treasure hunter they were probably filled with various things he brought up from the sea floor.

“Looking for something specific?”

I startled and turned around, coming face to face with the Merling.

“Oh, uh, kinda? You said you would show me how to hold my breath for a really long time?”

“Oh right, I did! Good timing, I was just getting bored again after stashing my new stuff!”

I was then dragged along for the second time today, but this time I was led to a more open space in the middle of the room which had a carpet nailed down on it that seemed to be made out of seaweed.

Remembering last time I had gotten a short instruction I sat down on the carpet while Imik did the same opposite of me.

“Okay where were we last time? Like what did I already tell you?”

“Uh, you told me to like, calm down and slow my heartbeat?”

He nodded, at least I had gotten that right.

“Apnea is about expanding the capacity of your lungs. 

At a depth of 30 meters, the lungs are only 25% of their actual size, so With diaphragmatic and lateral lung breathing, more air can be inhaled! 

And if you slow your heart down and are calm your body uses less air!

Fantastic isn't it?”

I had understood maybe half of what he was saying, but he'd probably show me anyway.

Yep. I was right in that as he started to explain how to control one's breathing among some other things.

And thus the day was spent learning how to do various breathing exercises.

While unusual it wasn't as boring as one would have thought, At one point I had to hold my breath while Imik tried to get me to laugh or poked at me.

Apparently that was to make sure I wouldn't spit all the air out should a fish startle me.

While probably true he seemed to have a good time with it, and it was a little funny

He had also been positively surprised when I told him about the only breathing thing I knew, to calm someone from a panic attack.

He immediately jotted it down in a random notebook.

We continued with that until the door was slammed open and Jamie waltzed in.

“AY! Dinner time you idiots!”

Already?, though, looking actually outside showed the sun was way lower than before. 

We really had spent all day with the Apnea diving thing huh?

Well, i did feel like i made some progress, like being able to hold my breath for about seven minutes now, Maybe more, we didn't have a clock.

Whatever, maybe now they had something to eat that wasn't sandwiches.

No they did not, and by now the bread was either stale or soggy again, somehow.

I politely declined under the guise that since I had plants on my back in Ardua Form I didn't need to eat anyway.

That and I didn't want to use more of their resources than I already did.

And so I got out of eating stale sandwiches, for now at least.

“Are you not a fan of sandwiches?” Asked Ronan then, gnawing on his own rather stale bread with what was probably marmalade.

“Well, depends, and not everyday for sure, don't you have anything else on board?

Since I had gotten onto the boat the only thing they had to eat were those sandwiches, which couldn't be healthy.

“Well, the dude that cooks had to stay home cuz he broke his ribs!”

Interjected Jamie nonchalantly while grabbing another bread.

“What?” “Yeah! The crane we have on board was getting some heavy box up and somehow slammed him into the wall! Apparently the pressure of being squished between the crate and the wall just snapped some of his Bones a few months ago! 

Good thing we know a pretty okay doc!”

I was just staring at Jamie who told a story like that completely nonchalantly.

Yeah, these guys had a few screws loose, maybe even used them to keep the boat together.

“Oh, well, I hope he gets well soon?”

I said awkwardly, not really knowing what to do in such a situation.

“Eh, Yamet is fine, next time he can go back on the ship as well! I bet he's incredibly bored though!”

At least that was nice, but man these guys were crazy.

Oh well, better not say anything about it.

Though if they made such jokes this Yamet guy was probably fine.

Probably.

The only somewhat calm dinner of stale bread and possibly moldy marmalade was interrupted by a loud boom and an impact that shook the entire ship.

What? What was happening?

The entire crew had already sprung up and hasted to a variety of places, Jamie back up the mast, Akeem and Imik got entire fucking Cannons.

Ronan was already nowhere to be seen and I had no idea where he went.

Hopefully back inside as it appeared we were under attack.

Not really knowing what to do, I walked over to where Akeem and Imik were, already stuffing a cannonball into the cannon to fire back.

Not knowing how to operate a cannon or even how to help, I tried to get a glance on what was attacking us, which turned out to be another ship.

Pirates? As far as I knew they were a big enough Problem that Rikaad had wanted to deal with it himself.

Worse was that the enemy boat was bigger than ours and probably had more people.

Imik and Akeem fired their cannon and managed to hit the low side of the enemy ship.

Unfortunately we got hit again, the ship going very lopsided for a moment and I could hear a weird screech.

Looking up I saw it was Jamie, who was upside down and held on to the outermost piece of the mast with a clawed foot.

Oh fuck, they'd fall in at any moment!

Leaving the experts to man the cannon, I ran to the other side of the ship, only seeing out of the corner of my eye that apparently Imugi had rammed the other boat, causing some of the men on board to freak out at being attacked from a sea monster.

Man, I hoped they wouldn't shoot at Imugi.

Unlikely though.

I was positioned at the railing, still not anywhere near Jamie and thus not able to catch them as they fell, another cannonball impacting at the same time and causing the crane to fall overboard where Jamie was just moments ago.

Being horribly reminded of what had happened to me not that long ago when the mast crashed onto my own head I jumped in after Jamie, shifting while jumping and inhaling as much air as I could, doing as Imik had shown me.

I dived down after Jamie, seeing that one of their legs had gotten tangled in a rope from the crane and they were desperately trying to get it loose.

I managed to swim after them right as they went past an underwater cliff, the top part of the crane scraping against the rock with an unpleasant noise.

Not having thumbs currently I simply bit into the crane, not like it would be usable anymore anyway.

Jamie got loose, kicking their thin legs which were definitely not made for swimming and tried to swim up, which thanks to having so thin legs was agonizingly slow.

Then the crane which had been scraping against the rock knocked a boulder loose, which in turn bumped into more rocks, freeing them and causing an underwater landslide.

Jamie got hit square in the chest by one and was dragged even deeper down as the rocks went towards the bottom of the ocean and I dived after them, taking them into my mouth due to a lack of thumbs.

Their legs were still sticking out and my mouth was filled with water, not allowing them to breathe either as one of the bigger rocks hit my back, pushing me deeper underwater and ending up trapping me on a shelf like rock formation as more of the rockslide buried my lower half under it.

Fuck, now i was trapped with no air, 

and even worse was that Jamie had no air either.

But I had a little bit of air, maybe I could share?

Tentatively I pressed Jamie against my palate, pushing out as much water as I could and then let my mouth fill with some of my own air.

I felt them cough and while maybe a bit stale the air was still better than nothing.

But now what? I was trapped and there was no way for Jamie to get back up without drowning.

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

[blujaymi]

why are we calling him "adam"??

i dont even really go here so i don't know if this is canon or just popular fanon, but i've noticed that there seems to be a common consensus of naming the creature "adam". and honestly??

hot (or maybe not) take: giving the creature the name "adam" is actually kind of more disrespectful to him than calling him "the creature"

preface: this is not me saying "the creature is monster so he shouldn't have a human name!!!!". in fact, the creature is repeatedly shown to be painfully human in many ways, and that's a whole essay and half to ramble about.

i especially don't like the implication i sometimes see that the creature murdering people makes him less or not human when humans do it literally all the time. which is not to say murder is good, but to say that humans are flawed and can be just as "evil" if not more than how the creature is perceived. (i feel like that's an overarching theme presented in frankenstein in general but that's ALSO a whole other ramble. also sorry i do not have any page numbers or chapters for the quotes. i'm using the project gutenberg ebook and ctrl+f lol.)

ANYWAY, moving on now. thoughts under the cut because this ended up being way too long.

(tl;dr: i get why he could be called adam, but i feel like he himself would not take kindly to it and it is dismissive of his pain)

alright hear me out

i feel like calling the creature adam is kind of against everything about him. like, i see your "i ought to be thy adam". in isolation, it makes "adam" a perfect contender for the creature's name, even one he may choose himself. he says that he "ought to be", implying a sense of want (or maybe more of a sense of obligation).

but that's not the complete picture, because what does the creature say RIGHT AFTER that?

the creature continues, "but i am rather the fallen angel, whom thou drivest from joy for no misdeed".

well, then the implication becomes that he SHOULD HAVE BEEN adam, but he isn't (which now i am inclined to wonder if that is the idea behind the name. a sort of "what could've been" of the creature in a fanon sense. if this is the case then i can see it, but i'm mainly trying to focus on canon creature here.)

so, the creature does not feel any real connection to adam, which is even further emphasized when he recalls paradise lost. he may initially compare himself to adam: "like adam, i was created apparently united by no link to any other being in existence"; however, he once again follows it up with why he doesn't truly relate to adam: "but [adam's] state was far different from mine in ever other respect".

in fact (even if we just completely ignore the creature's mention of not feeling united to "ANY OTHER BEING IN EXISTENCE"), the creature more personally likens himself to satan, recalling, "many times i considered satan as the fitter emblem of my condition". i get the idea behind him initially comparing himself to adam, and him envying adam and all of that. but the point still stands that he really doesn't feel associated with adam from his own perspective.

which brings me to my next point.

i don't think it's necessarily disrespectful to call the creature "the creature", because he himself does not feel a connection to who was viewed as the perfect human and child of god. and in general, he doesn't feel any connection to humanity. it's why he wants victor to make him a companion. he is done with trying to fit in with humans because he tried so many times and it never worked. in his eyes, there was no hope left to try and become a part of human society.

in this lens, i feel like calling him adam sort of undermines all that the creature has been through because he's been perceived by others as inhuman. like sure, the creature may be in essence, a human. he was made of human parts, has deep and complex emotions and thought, yada yada (once again, not getting into it. beating a dead horse.) but the harsh reality is that none of that matters because no one actually perceives him as human. his appearance is regarded as inhuman (or at the very least, repulsive), and it's the reason for all the suffering he endures in his life.

should the creature feel any lesser than for his appearance? no, of course not. yet, he still does because he gets constantly emotionally and physically attacked for it. to me, calling him adam is a way of saying, "it's okay, you're still perfect no matter what". and yes, the creature should have had that kind of reassurance from someone before he went on a quest for revenge.

but he didn't.

and because of that, any sort of comforting implications of the name are just...gone. the creature doesn't relate to humans and human culture. he feels other, and it's valid considering all that he's been through. so, what would a name mean to him?

to me, naming himself adam would be him saying, "i'm human" when he doesn't feel that way at all. and to add "frankenstein" as his surname on top of that he most definitely would hate, i think. i understand the idea that he inherits victor's name because victor created him, but even if the creature did decide he was part of humanity and named himself "adam" i feel like he still wouldn't consider the surname "frankenstein". victor is a Deadbeat Dad (for lack of a better term). the creature shouldn't feel any obligation to tie himself to someone who wasn't there for him. and thinking about this from a real world perspective, neither should anyone who deals with absent or abusive family members, or for any reason feels disconnected from their family name. you're not REQUIRED to have a name connecting you to your family.

if the creature ever did name himself, i think it would be more suitable and meaningful that it's just...some random name that he comes up with. nothing connected to adam or satan. nothing connected to victor. just something completely unique and his own. i think it would give him a sense of personal identity, which i find much more humanizing than defaulting to "adam frankenstein" as his name (and to reiterate, this isn't to say i can't appreciate the idea. truly, i see the vision).

okay. im done now.

thank you to anyone who read this far because i did NOT mean to ramble for over 1k words

[pholiabanna]

Confession time; i kinda hate the st writers. They are the reason why the pride was ruined during the vol2 waiting, the reason why we face constant homophobia from mlvns and the ga for shipping byler and all bc they refused to break up mlvn and also included that shit ass monologue. Now we have to wait years to see the conclusion meanwhile ppl gradualy start lose their interest. They ruined Nick's career and reputation for no reason when his site was there for years. The way they say nothing against the apparent fandom homophobia even though it is not even a secret since ppl sharw homophobic comments left and right. The way they use Will's car scene as a memeable moment even though many queer fans were devastated when the scene came out. The way they write these characters. The way they treate Will. The way they treated Robin. I have so much spite and hatred bottled in me and i am only starting to realize it after a year. If byler doesnt become canon i hope all st writers and the duffers lose their jobs and never manage to write ever again. I would even support Netlix going full bankrupt. My respect for the writers all depend on whether or not byler becomes canon and i dont care if it makes me stuck with byler or whatever. After everything the writers pulled, yes, my respect all depend on this choice for S5.

Honestly I see where you're coming from, so your feelings are completely valid. I do believe that the monologue and saving byler for the last season makes narrative sense because of the way they've written the story and how best friends to lovers stories usually work (they normally won't get together until the end of a movie, and you have to think of ST as a 5 season long movie).

I think most of those things you pointed out are more of a fandom problem, like Will crying in the van becoming a meme- I believe it was portrayed very seriously in the show and it was a certain sector of the audience who decided to memefy it. Also, the homophobia would happen even if byler became canon in season 4, sadly homophobes are everywhere in every fandom. I also believe a lot of those things you pointed out are more of Netflix's fault, because using Wills scene as a meme was something accounts like Netflix, Netflix geeked, Netflix UK and other did, but I don't recall strangerwriters doing that (but I may be wrong so please if I am let me know). Their executives were probably the ones who decided to split the season as well, and having vol 2 come out right after pride month (being a terrible coincidence because of the byler-Milkvan storyline and the homophobia that subsequently came from maloobans). If I remember correctly, the writers account has stated a couple times that everyone should be allowed to ship whoever they want. But as you pointed out, sometimes I feel like they could do a little bit more. They tanked Nick's reputation (which I can understand up to a certain point if they are trying to protect the show they are working on from getting spoiled, but maybe they should have made a less vague and incriminating statement), and they definitely could address the rampant homophobia in the fandom more frequently.

It sucks that we need to wait so many years to prove we were right, but think about how satisfying it will be once the season comes out and you watch all of those people have a breakdown, and hopefully you see interviews from the duffers explaining how that was the intention all along. If that's the case, then I'll be happy, but as you said, if all of these was for nothing and byler isn't endgame, I'll definitely consider it queerbaiting, because they have built up romantic feelings for Will on Mike's side, even if some people want to deny it. So yeah, queerbaiting in 2023 sucks, and it's totally valid for you to feel like you won't respect them anymore if they go that route. I think more people need to realize this is not a matter of whether the couple I like ends up together over the couple other people like, it's a matter of whether queer people get a respectful and deserved treatment or not. And if they don't, then they're terrible writers, because if the way they fucked up that storyline, and terrible people too.

But hopefully not. Right now, I'm really convinced byler is endgame and they know what they're doing. We have to deal with crazy Melvin stans meanwhile, but the wait will be over before you notice and they'll get really quiet and embarrassed once they realize how wrong they were. But I'd like for them to address some of the homophobic comments online a little bit more often.

[bi-curious--george]

An Open Letter To Taylor Swift

I feel silly even writing this. That being said.. what's it going to hurt? I know you have a tendancy to read things and lurking in places nobody would expect.  And personally, I don't think you'll ever actually read this, but I have always wanted to tell you what a fan I am, and I figure after this many years, it may be time.  I talked myself out of writing this, thinking nobody's going to read it, and that may be true, but, one time when i was drunk, I wrote president obama about how unjust the system was and rambled about domestic violence and he wrote me back a very personal letter and if that can happen because of my words, why not try to see if you read this and I can ramble about what an impact you made in my life.  And what a hypocrite i would be if i would sit every day telling people how important their stories are, but think that mine isnt important.  I don't need a response, and don't believe I will ever get one.. But it would mean the world to me if you knew how much you saved me as a kid.  To give you some context, I am a therapist now, but I have been a fan of yours since before your first album ever came out.  And I really believe that your album was a huge reason I got through my shitty childhood to be here today.  I would love to tell you a funny little glimpse of how I'm stumbled upon you.

So i grew up just dirt poor.  And i had a really, really traumatic childhood (and adulthood, but thats a different letter, to, Obama apparently) and i remember so vividly how i became a fan of yours.  So. I was trying to take a bath.  And i loved baths - this was my escape from my awful childhood right?   and i used to play the radio while i did and I'd crank the music.  And we lived in the middle of nowhere with no actual television reception so my parents had to pay for satellite TV.  So i did have that going  for me.   So i turn on the satellite radio on my parents tv all the way up, go draw my bath down the hall, and i get in the tub and get in, and i heard your music for the first time. I wish I could remember the first song, but i dont (I am betting Tim McGraw, but i dont recall precisely). What i do remember is me running down the hall in a towel, basically tripping over myself soaking wet, literally  dripping, yelling " DON'T CHANGE IT I NEED TO FIND OUT WHO IT IS".  And you or maybe the dj? announced your first album coming out, and i instantly knew what i was going to ask for for Christmas.  

I didnt think i was going to get it.  I actually rarely got what i wanted for gifts, They normally shopped at the dollar store. Around Christmas time, i showed them your CD and begged and begged for it. I still didn't think id get it. I have vague memories of showing them the CD of yours in a Kmart and very dramatically saying  " this one! " So They couldn't claim they didn't know which one it was when Christmas time rolled around. 

The suspense is killing you, im sure. So I'll  get to it, but, I did get your cd for Christmas. And then from that point on, every time I got screamed at, every time I was hurt, or I didn't feel heard, i could at least escape. It was a peace offering of sorts in my mind, i think.   My favorite song was probably "Tied Together With A Smile". 

Life got a little hard after that, I'd become a single mom at 19 and my relationships were, well, complicated, and your music just became more and more relatable. And I just was able to pour myself more and more into your music. I've always just been so thankful for your music to be there. I found a partner and I love him, and somehow your music is still relatable.

 I've appreciated that your music  has been there the whole time.  The staying power it had in my life, from teens to 30s, I think is what made it so impactful. Your music was the soundtrack of my life while ive been learning how to reclaim my life as my own - and seemingly watching you do the same. 

I always wished I could have seen you in concert. But money got tight, then stayed tight.  I settled for what i could- scream singing in the car and shower.   

I went to grad school, had some more kids, and I became a therapist and my parents disowned me which was a wild ride.  I tried so hard to get tickets to see you this time, I didn't think I would care that much, I even anticipated it not going in my favor as I was grown now and i can handle not getting to go to a concert if they ran out of tickets.

I will admit, this Ticketmaster fiasco felt so unfair.  I had worked for so long and so hard to get to a place where i could finally see you in person.  I had been a fan since before your first album.  Life had screwed me over so many times in so many ways, but it felt like i made it through it - and now i could support myself and spend my own money and be a part of this eras tour - see all the eras i couldn't see when i was hiding from the abusive relationships or couldn't afford the albums and had to repeat them on YouTube to memorize them.  I was crushed after 8+ hours of waiting to still not get tickets. 

I'm betting not hearing you in person probably hurt more at the time because I found you when I lived with my parents and  since I had been disowned semi recently by my parents and you had been such an integral part in my healing it became this awful metaphor for me not being able to move forward.  "I'm 32, I went to grad school, i still can't buy a house for my family, my car is going to die and I can't replace it (at the time), I'm stuck at a job that doesn't appreciate me, I can't even see the one concert I wanted, where did I fuck up so bad?" and like it was an awful loop of me messing up somewhere along the line.. and I cried probably every day from the day of Ticketmaster failure until the second day of Minneapolis, and even sometimes now even thinking about losing the chance. Ticketmaster had other ideas for me i guess.  And that's not on you, that's just a me thing.  And that's for my new therapist to unpack,  😂

I still try to watch the lives on tiktok so I can try to be a part of What is likely our generations Woodstock. You are doing amazing things, and I hope that you and your family and friends are endlessly proud of you.

Regardless, thank you for being a part of my journey, I'm so glad you were there. And if you ever tour again, which I hope you do, I'll see you there. 

I wrote this whole thing out on 8/1,  I was going to print it out and mail it as I had heard that's  the best avenue..  then I never got around to it as I felt silly. It's now 8/3, the day that more dates were announced (I knew it! I knew Canada would get some dates!)  Unfortunately Minnesota did not get more dates but I'm going to register for Indianapolis  on 11/2- it's worth a shot.  🤞. I slept on it, and said to myself, Let's put it on Tumblr and let the universe decide if you should see it.

[allyouveeverknownbyrustedbread]

ddlcbrainrot asked:

living sweetie i would blow up 5 newborns for you ily

me blowing up the... thing? that attacked us will probably come to torment me later but wtvr BOOM EXPLOSION TIME

oh i also warn living to stay back i dont want him to get caught up in it

The reaper writhes, body contorting as it's flesh is blown apart, the skull that gazed through you, now empty, bodies put at rest, a thousand souls, all silent, all at once you gaze into the mound, the corpses, they're contorted, all human, melded into each other, no skin, once again, a signature, alongside those bodies, those tortured souls, absorbed and small bits of the larvae you were once trapped with, all of them slowly seeming to morph into more humanoid closer to the front, you remember what you saw, is this, evolution? The larvae, perfectly able to recreate human form, and this thing, consuming all it comes into contact with, adding them all into a conglomerate. You think again how did you get here? there's barely any logical way to get inside of some, flesh amorphous underground You remember your life, of course, but all of those memories are hard to come by, all you can recall, all you know, all you feel, it all started in the warehouse You You barrel back in realization Are you even human? All your mind can think of is what you saw on those monitor screens Arms, legs, skin, fabric All perfectly replicated Soft steps of the halls turning into a scab, wooden flooring soon underneath your feet The ground bleeds Not some vague replication, but perfect recreation Stone made of flesh, entirely indistinguishable by all levels It terrifies you What you could be It terrifies you That this could be all you've ever known Everything you say is yours, you've never felt All illusion, all implanted It mortifies you that every memory you've had, your entire self, is but a copy But you still have someone to live for You get up Living was looking at you, really concerned as you just started to seemingly break down for no real apparent reason but he's assured and very happy that you managed to pull yourself up You both walk down to the lower floor, the lights seem to be slowly turning back on, the floor tiles are all ripped out, and there's a fair amount of blood coming from the floor you gag a bit, with the revelation you just had, but you ignore it You have no other option, so standing a good distance away, you gash a hole open into the exit and it's open now both you and Living make it out you both run, it's daylight out Living stops, you do too he looks into the sun, eyes wide, and he winces, looking away, blinking, before looking back up at the sky you do as well You don't really know what you are you don't know if you're even yourself but still, the sun cascading on your face maybe it doesn't matter maybe you shouldn't have to worry about feeling human maybe you don't have to worry about being one maybe the best thing you can do is live [Congratulations! You managed to actually get, a good ending! I had other ones in mind for you, other ones planned, but with the changing course of the story and stuff, it all kinda drifted away from being plausible, now I'll admit, this project turned out to be WAY longer than I expected, and genuinely took way longer than I expected too! Even still I feel like I'd want to do better, but really I'd be overworking myself by then, yknow?] [[Who would've known, the answer is always to blow a fucking hole in the wall :P]] [[[Oh yeah and Living is in fact up for adoption, canonically he has the mind of like, just a really stressed teenager/kid because of how heavily traumatized he is]]] [[[[I just imagined Living being just, in an adoption center and it was really funny to me for some reason]]]] [[[[[But yeah! that wraps up your POV! and now I get to loredump to you, so FUCK yeah for that!]]]]]

[rustedbread]

living sweetie i would blow up 5 newborns for you ily

me blowing up the... thing? that attacked us will probably come to torment me later but wtvr BOOM EXPLOSION TIME

oh i also warn living to stay back i dont want him to get caught up in it

The reaper writhes, body contorting as it's flesh is blown apart, the skull that gazed through you, now empty, bodies put at rest, a thousand souls, all silent, all at once you gaze into the mound, the corpses, they're contorted, all human, melded into each other, no skin, once again, a signature, alongside those bodies, those tortured souls, absorbed and small bits of the larvae you were once trapped with, all of them slowly seeming to morph into more humanoid closer to the front, you remember what you saw, is this, evolution? The larvae, perfectly able to recreate human form, and this thing, consuming all it comes into contact with, adding them all into a conglomerate. You think again how did you get here? there's barely any logical way to get inside of some, flesh amorphous underground You remember your life, of course, but all of those memories are hard to come by, all you can recall, all you know, all you feel, it all started in the warehouse You You barrel back in realization Are you even human? All your mind can think of is what you saw on those monitor screens Arms, legs, skin, fabric All perfectly replicated Soft steps of the halls turning into a scab, wooden flooring soon underneath your feet The ground bleeds Not some vague replication, but perfect recreation Stone made of flesh, entirely indistinguishable by all levels It terrifies you What you could be It terrifies you That this could be all you've ever known Everything you say is yours, you've never felt All illusion, all implanted It mortifies you that every memory you've had, your entire self, is but a copy But you still have someone to live for You get up Living was looking at you, really concerned as you just started to seemingly break down for no real apparent reason but he's assured and very happy that you managed to pull yourself up You both walk down to the lower floor, the lights seem to be slowly turning back on, the floor tiles are all ripped out, and there's a fair amount of blood coming from the floor you gag a bit, with the revelation you just had, but you ignore it You have no other option, so standing a good distance away, you gash a hole open into the exit and it's open now both you and Living make it out you both run, it's daylight out Living stops, you do too he looks into the sun, eyes wide, and he winces, looking away, blinking, before looking back up at the sky you do as well You don't really know what you are you don't know if you're even yourself but still, the sun cascading on your face maybe it doesn't matter maybe you shouldn't have to worry about feeling human maybe you don't have to worry about being one maybe the best thing you can do is live [Congratulations! You managed to actually get, a good ending! I had other ones in mind for you, other ones planned, but with the changing course of the story and stuff, it all kinda drifted away from being plausible, now I'll admit, this project turned out to be WAY longer than I expected, and genuinely took way longer than I expected too! Even still I feel like I'd want to do better, but really I'd be overworking myself by then, yknow?] [[Who would've known, the answer is always to blow a fucking hole in the wall :P]] [[[Oh yeah and Living is in fact up for adoption, canonically he has the mind of like, just a really stressed teenager/kid because of how heavily traumatized he is]]] [[[[I just imagined Living being just, in an adoption center and it was really funny to me for some reason]]]] [[[[[But yeah! that wraps up your POV! and now I get to loredump to you, so FUCK yeah for that!]]]]]

[thesugarhole]

last day i have to put up wit train strikes and waking up so so early to get here on time and for the waiting times between. so im reading romac in between. on phone so no funny business. stopped at bench and men

anyway

dont ever ask a woman her age a man his salary and vitaly how the geography of romac looks like

eureka was apparently partially new york but i know bc of worldwide photo shoots they later use places like paris on the bg so thats funny. i guess whale arc (is the whale stuff still there?) multiple alien and monster and annet chases and various flying machines could get you there, if the world map is still about the same

i guess im pointing it out bc i saw someone make a weird map connecting. idfk or even remember but the atlantic ocean wasnt there anymore

"He could only communicate with me via a copyrighted form of speech available to the Unconnectable population- talking loudly."

thats not copyrighted to unconnectables thats copyrighted to portuguese* come ooooon man

everything in this world needs a fookin loicense god what a nightmare

🤨

sorry i just dont buy this. first of all from having read the original comic before second of all because hes just some guy in both versions (who just happened to work for g-dir, best of the worst type deal) and third of related to the second of, it all feels like they pushed a role on him he didnt even knew existed and it all went downhill from there.

if he really was one of the catalysts of the apocalypse though rather than just being caught up in the aftermath (alongside PILOT!!!!) and omitting all that in previous POV logs for the unreliable narrator trope, then sorry tumblr sexy man that never was. i cant defend you here. you looked at yourself, said 'i can make her better' and then made her worse

number 2 also i just noticed. "infi"? miss ai generated number 8 pendant that ruined one of my favorite sequences in the original comic with 'is this a set ALMOST MISSED MY TRAIN STOP I THOUGHT WE WERE AT TUE ONE BEFORE

""Are you, really?" Infi raised an eyebrow. "Even that bench you're sitting on is charging you infractions. If enough tickets pile up, the Dexes will come and take you away. You know what they do to big debitors, Sven. You know what they turn people into. I'm sure you won't like wearing a smile on your face forever.""

ok so. if i recall correctly people in too much debt get killed and turned into dexes and idk if all dexes do the same job but in pilots case he became a debt collector or something. aka kill more people to create more dexes

and in most panels of him pre apoc without the pilot gear he didnt seem too thrilled about anything, facial expression wise. what im getting to is, it could be something added in the rewrite but it would be interesting if part of his character design had a smile stapled on whether he likes it or not.

well for what its worth hes happy now, only vaguely aware of his past

anyway- svens gone but the seagull lived? i dont think this bench would know if its the same seagull. also how are you talking to it? the bench lost whatever little mind it had djhgsjfj and this is positive character development

The User flickered peculiarly and suspiciously in my time-worn sensors, just like... Infi did.

AI girlie nonsense aside i guess shes's intriguing me a bit. if anything she's the true unconnectable leader and scapegoated snippy. but also youre still not baiting me with the "is captain infi???" rewrites. i know how to count. (<- gonna look foolish if this later happens anyway. "am i that out of touch? no. its the author thats wrong") (speaking of counting haha very funny that sven and steven, names sounding like seven, meet infi, represented by an 8/infinite, and some undisclosed time later the somewhat sentient bench they were on meet captain (also known as seven). basic homestuckology

these side little detours into the world that was are fun i think. but again, most (all? honest to god i dont remember anyone named infi being a part of anything going on) of this was already in the original so ya

[franklinfinley]

Now that ive actually gotten some rest i can elaborate

Mason challenged me like I thought he would, with his Azumarill

I bring out Montez to train her against Fairy types and test out if Iron Head is a good choice for a coverage move

First turn goes fine. I try Earthquake to warm things up, Azumarill goes for Belly Drum. Im expecting a very hard Play Rough

I go for Iron Head. Azumarill goes for

Dazzling Gleam

And it turns toward me

Everything goes white

Everything goes black

Im on the floor. Blood is dripping off my face

I got hit in seven places by the shards of Dazzling Gleam. I didnt need any stitches but my face is bandaged pretty tightly

I just remember recalling Montez and booking it to my room. Maybe i meant to go to Miriam's office but I was in the beginning of a panic attack so i guess i autopiloted to the safety of my room

Nemona came to check on me. It was kind of embarrassing considering i was crying myself into hyperventilating in my bathtub. Shes awesome though and helped me calm down

I went to Miriam and got patched up. Thank gosh she didnt ask too mamy questions

Then I had to go to Clavell to clear up what happened

Mason got expelled. He tried saying that Azumarill just missed Montez and hit me by accident but apparently Dendra and a couple othet kids saw him pointing directly at me. Plus using Dazzling Gleam (a special move) after raising her physical attack was a really weird move

I'm not in any trouble of course, but I'm not allowed to have Montez out on campus for the next week. Apparently she charged for Mason and almost hurt him before I recalled her and theyre just worried about student safety. I get that

Clavell also apologized for not realizing Team Star kids had gotten This Bad and its like. At some point i have to laugh. Did you also miss everyone getting their lunch trays smacked in the cafeteria. Or incessantly pestering other kids in the hallway. Like dude this is YOUR academy not mine and ive been doing more about them

Im taking today off classes, and maybe tomorrow too. I gave Montez to Nemona to help burn off that energy and keep her exercized. Everyone else doesnt mind chilling in the dorm with me.

I told Cassiopeia i was back in. I'm going for the Ruchbah squad the second I feel good enough to walk

Arven made me breakfast today Q_Q these are the best hashbrowns and sausage ive ever fucking had. And thats SAYING SOMETHING because i dont like sausage

I'm doing alright I suppose. Mason was off campus before curfew last night, and my head is still hurting but nothing major. I want to feel bad for him, but lets be real: he was only sorry and upset because he got in trouble. He had to have this little "prank" planned for a while. He thought attacking me was funny. Even IF i didnt get hit, it still wouldnt have been funny.

Maybe this is what Cassiopeia was talking about. They're going too far. Maybe they were defending themselves at one point, but not anymore. I guess it just took me getting targeted to realize that. Team Star isnt a line of defense for them anymore. It's not a shield, it's a sword.

The zoroark joke isnt funny anymore. It just put me in the nurses office.

[saltymongoose]

Finally it's the not awaited time that i talk about hofnarr (hopefully thats how you write his dumb name)

He is just as obsessed as everyone else but he tries to hide it VERY hard (he is not doing a good job at that). He buys everything that the other nexus workers make about the player and his room is like 99% about the player and like 2 things about slaughter time (he needed to take a lot of things off of his room to make space for all his money spending on player "merch")

And what kills him once they meet? Well everything from the feeling of their bright eyes on him, their shorter stature (which they complained about since informing him of their expectancy of him being at least a little bit shorter than them. How wrong they were) their presence alone had him holding back from giggling like a highschool girl. But especially when they decided to lean on him and just stay there against him, tugging lightly on his lab coat. Usually like this:

(Guess who is next (totally absolutely never could ever be sanford oh I'd never specifically choose the people who i feel others dont obsess over enough oh never))

AAA Hofnarr content, I love to see it haha. :D He's so sweet, and it's honestly really funny to have an accurate visual showing how much bigger he would be than the Player (cause he seems so meek in the game). One of the more lowkey yanderes by far, if only because he tries so hard to hide it. Some of the Nexus personnel who sell merch of you might just think he's a loyal customer of theirs and buys all their stuff just to support their business (he was nice like that).

However, in reality, the scientist harbored a bit of a crush on you; a deep-seated admiration that stemmed from how much he liked your kindness and general goodwill. You were so genuinely nice, especially compared to everyone else in Nevada, and you helped them so much that it'd be impossible not to like you (in his opinion, anyway). He's quite the fanboy, hence all the merchandise; he just wants something that reminds him of you to be everywhere around him, from the keychain he keeps in his pocket to the prints he has framed and put up in his living space.

Is it an obsession? Perhaps somewhat, he'll admit that much. But as far as he knows, this is just what love for you is like. He's utterly infatuated with you, and he views his more...excessive behaviors with you to be normal since he can't recall loving anyone as much. It made complete sense that an elevated level of affection would lead to an elevation in the level of gestures he goes through just to experience/have something related to you.

He's a bit very jealous that Christoff gets to actually feel your control, but he can deal with that. You do have your reasons, and he's also helping his friend out as well, so if anything that'd make you both allies (it's a loose connection, but it makes him feel happy all the same). This only makes it better when you meet in person, and you subsequently give him a heart attack by getting in his personal space and leaning on him (muttering a small complaint about how tall he is in the process; cute).

Just experiencing your relaxing warmth up close, and feeling the weight of your complete attention on him was enough to make a giddy smile spread across his face, and he fights the urge to reach up to try and cover the bright blush that paints his features. Then you get closer, and he's trying not to let his crush on you be too apparent, because oh my god, you're right there. The person he's been fawning over for the past few months is touching him, showing him the same sweet affection he's dreamed about getting from you. (He almost squeaks when he feels your arms come up to wrap around him in a hug, which you find adorable.)

It's what he's been waiting for all this time, but now it brings to mind a more pertinent question: now that he knows you actually like him, what are the chances you could return all of these feelings he has? And how does he increase that probability?

[maria-akira]

good girls don't get used: michael langdon x fem! reader

—♡—

READ PART 2 HERE

summary: michael langdon, your ex, falls into a bet wherein he has to (fake) date you. if he falls in love again, he loses and doesn't get the prize.

warnings: private school au, fuckboy!michael, slight mention of sexual topics + i didnt proofread this mwahaha

this fic is inspired by the song 'good girls (don't get used)' by beach bunny.

i don't know if other private schools have bells, because mine doesn't :(

italicized bold words are direct lyrics from the song. but in this chapter, there are none since this is like an intro :)

—♡—

"Dude, shut the fuck up."

"Are you kidding? She really said that?"

"You really think that's gonna happen?"

"Who's class do you have first?"

Voices of different students flooded the white and grey hallways of the school. Different friend groups and teachers can be seen roaming the halls, getting stuff from their respective lockers as they waited for the bell to ring.

"Y/N! Do you mind if I borrow your calculator? I forgot mine at home and Math is my next class." She said while panting.

"Sure, here it is. If you lose it, I'd probably drop kick your ass." Y/N let out a small laugh and grabbed the calculator from her locker, giving it to her friend.

"Gosh, Y/N. I'll never lose it! I'll give it back during recess. Thanks again!" She flashed Y/N a smile and waved bye, before returning to her locker.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror she had on her locker, fixing the tie that always seemed to be out of place whenever she checked. Her hair was neat, complete with a white headband that complimented the color of her school's uniform.

A few seconds later, the bell rang and everybody started rushing. Different couples were seen kissing before they parted ways for the mean time.

Cringe. Y/N thought. She shrugged it off and held her books tightly to her chest, walking to her next class.

Walking straight into the classroom, she noticed a group of guys dart their eyes to her direction as she entered. They gave her weird smirks. In return, she stared back at them while she made her way to her seat and never broke eye contact. Eventually, she noticed a familiar face among the group.

Michael, her ex.

How the fuck is he in my English class? She thought, along with a whole hundred thoughts roaming around her head. Michael stared back at her, giving her a wink.

Y/N's face gave a hint of disgust, "The fuck do you want, Langdon?" She stood up from her seat and walked over to Michael, pushing his other friends. She heard his friends coo and tease Michael for his act towards her.

Michael put up his hands in defense, "Chill, is it bad to wink at a pretty girl like you?" He said with a smug look, while he grazed his hand over her arm.

"Shut the fuck up, Langdon. Don't you ever touch me." Y/N slapped his hand away, his friends taken aback from her actions. As she walked back to her seat, the teacher entered as well.

Y/N put her face in her hands. By now, a million thoughts were in her head. It's been 2 years since Michael and her broke up, and since then, she made a promise to herself that she would never fall in love with men like him. She was so tired of all the tears and sleepless nights that Michael gave her.

She let out a sigh and lifted her head from her hands. The soft light from the windows filled her eyes after the darkness formed by her hands, causing her to rub her eyes to adjust from the light.

The rest of the hour went smoothly for Y/N, after English class was recess, her most favorite time of the day— aside from going home, of course.

She glanced at her watch, 10:28 AM.

2 more minutes, and English will be over. She thought.

She averted her gaze back on the white board full of scribbles about some writing lesson she clearly did not listen to. She looked over to her classmates and friends, Well they aren't listening either. She laughed at the thought.

As soon at the bell rang, everyone started packing up their notebooks, textbooks, and whatever they had on their table. Every student was seen rushing out of every classroom in hopes of being the first ones in line for the cafeteria.

On the way there, Y/N bumped into her friend group. "Hey Y/N! We heard about happened in English class. Michael is really in your class?" A friend of hers mentioned, "Yea, and apparently that son of a bitch winked at me, such a disgusting ass motherfucker. he should keep his fuck boy ass to himself." Y/N spat out, earning a chorus of 'oh's' from her friends.

When they arrived at the cafeteria, the line was painfully long, all of them groaned in frustration and they had no choice but to wait for the line to move. But once it did, it was faster than usual. After Y/N and her friends received their food, they left the cafeteria to eat at their usual place.

The school rooftop.

A few students know that staying in the school rooftop is permitted, which was why Y/N and her friends loved eating there.

When they arrived at the rooftop, they saw the usual people that they always encounter while staying there. The view was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. The small garden in the rooftop gave a beautiful and elegant touch.

Though there were a few chairs and tables, Y/N and her friends always preferred to eat on the floor. So, they laid the linen cloth on the ground and sat on it. Y/N was wearing the skirt uniform, thus she removed her tux and placed it on her legs to prevent her skirt from lifting.

They shared a few giggles while they ate their meals, laughing about some life experiences, or whatever they wanted to talk about.

Y/N loved this. She loved how she and her friends would have little moments like these, it was like an escape from reality.

The rest of the day went smoothly for Y/N. She didn't fall asleep in any of her classes, which in this case was a very big accomplishment for her.

As soon as she arrived home, her little brother, Aaron, rushed towards her. "Y/N!! I missed you!" He chimed, Y/N kneeled down onto his level and gave him the tightest hug. "I missed you too, Aaron!" Her mom came into the room and smiled. Y/N stood up and gave her mom a hug as well.

"How was school?" Her mom asked, Y/N placed her tux on the coat hanger by the door. "It was fine, Mom. Where's Dad?" Y/N walked over to the fridge and poured herself a glass of milk, "He'll be home soon, he still has a meeting right now." She took a sip of her milk, "Oh, okay. I'll be upstairs doing school work." The glass of milk that was once full, now empty.

She took her things upstairs and plopped herself on the bed. Out of nowhere she felt a vibrating noise from her bag, she rummaged through her bag to find her phone and once she did, a message was see on her lockscreen.

Unknown Sender has sent you a message.

She unlocked her phone and went to her messages.

Unknown Sender: hey ;)

Her eyebrows furrowed. What the fuck?

(Y/N): hi? whos this?

read 2:29 pm

Unknown Sender: oh shit you deleted my number? damn.

"Huh? I don't recall deleting anyone's number..." She went to her recently deleted contacts and it showed nothing.

(Y/N): im sorry, i haven't deleted anyone's number recently, maybe you have the wrong number?

read 2:32 pm

Unknown Sender: im pretty sure you know me, Y/N.

They know my name. And her heart started pounding.

(Y/N): and im pretty sure i dont, so just reveal yourself before i report this number

read 2:35pm

Unknown Sender: ayo chill 😬 its me michael.

"Michael fucking Langdon? You've got to be fucking me right now." She felt rage fill her, slamming her keyboard.

(Y/N): langdon what the fuck do you want? i made it very clear that i dont want you talking to me.

read 2:40 pm

Before Michael could reply, she changed his contact name to 'Motherfucker'

You have changed Unknown Sender's contact name as 'Motherfucker'

Motherfucker: damn you still mad at me after 2 years? gosh (Y/N). whats with the nickname?

(Y/N): of course im still mad, asshole. ill never forget what you fucking did.

read 2:43 pm

Motherfucker: i thought you forgave me 🥺

(Y/N): FORGIVE YOU???? god langdon you're so fucking stupid, i will never forgive you. you didnt even say sorry in the first place!

Pissed off, Y/N blocked his number. "That fucking asshole." She mumbled to herself.

—

"Hey! Y/N!" A familar voice called out from the crowd. Y/N removed one earbud and turned around to find the voice that called her.

Once she saw the shiny blonde locks from that stood out in the crowd, she immediately ran in the opposite direction in hopes of avoiding him.

It was Michael, again.

"Y/N wait!" Michael called out again, chasing her

For some reason, Michael was able to catch her. He pulled Y/N into an empty science laboratory and they were both panting.

"What the fuck do you want this time, Langdon?" Y/N was catching her breath, fanning herself with her hand.

"Okay. First off, sorry for the sudden message. I know I pissed you off and that wasn't my intention at a—"

"What was your intention then?" She cut him off.

Michael panicked.

"Uh, you know? I just wanna talk to you again. Clear the bad air between us.."

Y/N let out a laugh, "Clear the bad air?? Oh gooood Langdon, you are really so stupid! You know what? You just made it worse." She pushed him off and walked out of the room,

"Whatever it is your planning, Langdon, I'm telling to stop it. I don't wanna talk to you or even go near you."

Michael was dumbfounded. She changed so much. He thought to himself.

2 years ago, Y/N was the sweetest, most innocent girl he knew. Playing with her feelings was Michael's biggest regret, and he's starting to feel it again.

Michael was about to leave the room until he felt a buzzing from his pocket, He pulls out his phone to see who was calling him.

Duncan, one of his bestfriends.

Michael answered the call, "Hello?"

"What's the update on your little girl?"

"She still doesn't trust me."

"That's sad man."

"I know. She changed alot. "

"What do you mean by 'changed'?" Duncan emphasized,

"I can't point it out, Dunc."

"Whatever you do, don't chicken out. I promise this bet is worth it."

"Fine, I trust you."

Call Ended.

Michael ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and left the room before the bell rang.

—

It was the last subject of the day. Most students were falling asleep or on their phones.

Y/N was scribbling weird things on the back of her notebook, when suddenly the bell rang. She packed up her stuff and stood up from her seat. Before she could leave the room, she saw a familiar face again.

Michael stood by the doorway of her classroom, the strap of his bag over one shoulder while he looked for Y/N among the other students.

Y/N ignored Michael and walked past him, but he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him.

"Langdon! What the fuck do you want?!" She screamed, all of the students averting their attention to her.

Michael put a finger on his lips, shushing her. "Let's go somewhere private, yea?"

"But—"

Before she could object, Michael dragged her outside towards the parking lot.

"Okay this is actually something serious—"

"CUT THE SHIT LANGDON! IM TIRED OF YOU."

"Woah‐woah! Easy now. I actually need your help, with school..."

Michael rubbed her shoulders, looking straight into her eyes. For once, Y/N believed him. His eyes were speaking the truth.

"Okay, fine. Shoot."

"I can't believe I'm saying this.."

"Don't waste my time, Langdon."

"Fine! I'm failing."

Y/N's mouth hung open. Michael was one of the top students in their batch and this was obviously a huge surprise for her.

"Oh, really? What am I gonna do about that?" She crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side.

"Can you please help me? Like, tutor me?" At this point, Michael was desperate.

"Um, no thanks. Just fuck some other girl's pussy for your grades." Y/N pushed him away, but Michael stopped her again.

"I'm serious, Y/N. I really need your help."

"Why me?"

Now that made Michael nervous.

"Because you happen to be the top of our batch right now?"

"Fine! Under one condition."

Michael was curious, "What?"

"If I do this tutor shit, we're doing it at my place. I can't tutor you in your messy ass room." Y/N said. She always remembered how messy Michael's room was when they were together. He would only clean when he was scolded by Y/N.

"That's fine by me."

"Okay then. 5pm, sharp."

She walked away, but Michael pulled her again.

"Let me go! What do you want now?" Y/N said, clearly annoyed.

"Unblock my number, silly." Michael chuckled,

"No."

"How are you supposed to know if I already arrived?"

"Theres a doorbell, dimwit. I'll be downstairs waiting for you."

"Bu—"

"Bye, Michael. I'll see you later." Y/N flashed him a small smile and continued to walk away.

Once he saw Y/N reach the bus stop, he started walking to his car, until someone tapped him on his shoulder.

"Hey Michael, whats the update? I saw you talking to her." It was Duncan. His brown hair was lightly gelled back and the first two buttons of his white dress shirt were undone.

"I'm still trying to win her back, I lied to her that I was failing so she could tutor me. That way, it'll be easier."

Duncan smirked, "That's my boy! When will this tutor thing start?"

"Later, 5pm."

"Hmm, that's good. Remember, if you fall in love again, bet's over."

"I won't."

—♡—

tags mwah: @kitwalker02 @sojournmichael @angelicmichael @deademobitch @iheartfrogs101 @tatestripedsweater @mrs-march-ahs

i hope you guys enjoyed this. i wrote this while doing schoolwork </3

[technowoah]

Taunt

It only takes one time to realize you fucked up.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- WILBUR X FEM! READER BLURB

PROMPTS!

50) "Fuck off... I mean it"

24) "Get in the car" "..." "please get in the car"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, based on the song Taunt by Lovejoy ❤🐈 its short btw yall

[Updated 3 hours after upload I messed up the prompts sorry yall now it fixed]

She was always asking if he was alright. He always lied to her just to get her off his back for the night, but it was his fault that he wanted her to move in. He has to deal with that all of the time, it was her fault anyways. She made him upset, she made him not alright. She didn't know that. She constantly complained about things that didn't even concern her, she dodged their relationship making it more about her than them.

It was tiring to him. Constantly providing, trying to tie a broken knot, but he didnt let that get in the way of his career, or his friends. There's another issue, he never talked to his friends about her. She accused him of not being proud of their relationship and that became a problem that never got resolved.

Did anyone ever say "no" to her? Well if no one did, he would be the first one to do so. Fuck that.

He listened, and listened, but nothing kept this relationship together.

Wilbur talked to the three people chatting on his discord through his headphones as a soft LED lights flowed through the room. These nights were simple because she didnt have to see him when he decides to stream, he basically has his time set out for himself without trouble. He wasn't ecstatic, he felt horrible, but the facadè was there.

Her on the other hand wasnt happy either. She never got attention from him, and of course she could get moody from time to time like every other human being, but she always took it out on him. Who else was gonna be there for her? He acted like her cared, she knew he was lying. His "caring" consisted of humming and him responding like a default character in a video game. He didn't care, he acted like he never did. She needed that attention and he knew damn well she did.

She wasnt asking for much, at least to her it did feel like it. She knew when she was wrong, but she didn't want to admit it when they were both in the wrong too. They dont get each other, she didnt know why he asked her to move in when he didn't want anything to do with her. Ever since he moved her in he kept her in check like a child, she hated and loved that at the same time. Its true that she wanted her own way, she did what she wanted and gave her attention to whoever she wanted her attention to be. She thought that was fine, but apparently she dosent give any effort to the relationship.

Rolling her eyes at the thought she decided to leave the dishes in the sink dirty. She thought about leaving and finding someone who will get her, yes Wilbur listened to her, but there was no effort. When he's drunk and tries to "figure out what makes her brain tick" ends up in more distaster.

Lying in the couch her mind began to wonder, he always said that she could get away with anything. She always took it as a taunt. Everytime it was brought up. He called it "pretty privilege" and he always taunts her saying she abuses that power.

Her jaw clenched as she recalled those memories. Summoning the courage she brought herself up onto her feet and rushed to their shared bedroom. Taking a deep breath she opened their closet and started pulling her things off of hangers, not caring if she made a mess. She tossed her clothes onto the messy bed that they didn't bother to make this morning.

Bringing a small backpack out from underneath the bed she tried shoving most of her clothes into a bag for a night. In total frustration she emptied the bag and only backed necessities that she would need for the night.

She was tired of him and he was tired of her so she was doing both of them a favor. She made her way out of the door grabbing a coat and sliding on some simple shoes. Shooting a quick text to a close friend letting them know she's coming over. Her friend wasn't that close, but she decided to walk. As she locked the door to their shared apartment she debated texting Wilbur. She didnt want to, but she didnt want him to freak the fuck out because she wasnt home.

( Wilbur )

Me: Ill be back for the rest of my stuff tmrw.

[Read]

She closed her phone and started on her night time journey down the street trying to let everything from the past few weeks go with the cool wind.

Him on the other hand stayed silent. He had just finished his stream and had gotten a text saying that she'll be back for the rest of her things. This was inevitable, one of them had to leave, but to him it didnt seem right. He didn't want her to leave. Something in his heart was making him chase her back, the same thing in his heart that moved her into his apartment in the first place. Maybe it was love, maybe he wanted to persevere and have someone in his life. Something in his mind was telling him that he let go of something special.

Wilbue thought about it as he shut everything off and went to go grab his belongings, before rushing out the door to try and find her. Sadly to his discovery, she turned off her location. He finally made it to his car and started driving towards his house to see if she was around there.

He couldn't call a friend because she never introduced her friends to him. She did that on purpose because of him not doing the same. As he drove down the not so busy streets of Brighton he thought if he could get to know her, pull emotions and feelings out of her and see the real her. And if he cant do that? Who knows what will happen.

He remembers this face she always pulled when he always said "Im alright." She scrunched up her nose in annoyance and he always took it as a taunt because he couldn't figure out the real meaning. They were both going at this the wrong way, he dosent know anything about her and maybe thats the problem, but she needs to calm down as well. She needs to start paying attention to both of them instead of herself.

He was seated at a stoplight until he saw a figure on the sidewalk walking past him. The person looked shocked then kept walking, but even faster this time. He rolled down the window to see it was Y/n walking. Wilbur ran the red light and found a place to turn the car around to follow her. He drove a couple of feet in front of her before putting his hazard lights on and stepping out of the car to confront her.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Wilbur said while getting our of his car.

"Im getting away from you. And what are you doing here?" She said.

"Well I could ask you the same thing. Its not safe out here alone." He calmed down a little. Wilbur's main goal was to get her back home so they can have a civilized talk. He didn't want to be out here.

"Oh? Ive been fine for the past fifteen minutes." She sasser back.

"That dosent mean its not safe!" He exclaimed.

She stayed quiet so that gave Wilbur an opportunity to speak.

"See, I want us to go home so we can have a civilized talk without feeling defensive. I want to get to know you, I know you're my girlfriend and yes, it was my mistake rushing things. Im not putting the blame all on myself either." He finished and she stayed quiet with her arms crossed infront of her chest.

"Are you cold-?"

"Fuck off...I mean it." She said while trying to pass hin on the street.

He stood in her way and he kept doing that every time she tried to get around him. Wilbur saw that she was getting annoyed at his actions. Wilbur held her by both of her biceps trying to hold her still so he could talk.

"You're being childish!"

"Fucking listen to me! You cant just keep walking away from us! From me! This is not healthy!" Wilbur yelled. He let go if her and surprisingly she stayed there.

"Get in the car." He ordered but she stayed silent. "Please get in the car."

She turns around gets in the passenger seat if Wilbur's car. He sighed a sigh if relief and followed her lead. They both got settled into the car and he didn't move. He wasn't going to drive unless she talked to him. After a minute if silence she spoke up.

"I know its- its both of our faults. And i have some things I need to work on. I cant just run away. Also your thoughts of me need to be rearranged, but I need to give you all of me. At leat 50 percent so we can start somewhere. But Im sorry." She said while she looked down at her lap maybe in embarrassment.

In the end they both wanted to fix themselves. In the end they wanted eachother. And they can both see that.

He leaned over the armrest and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She turned to him with a surprise look on her face, like this was the most affection he gave her, because it was true. She grabbed his hand that rested on the armrest too as he started to drive towards their home together.

As the nightly drive continues on and now shes drifting off in the passenger seat as In Love With An E-girl plays softly. She's left too tired to talk with Wilbur and be in touch with her emotions right now, but she'll do it for the both of them this time.