#apparently i have TOO MANY THOUGHTS
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Turian Culture Meta - Ferus Style
Yeah so -- ready to descend into crazyland?
We’re gonna dive into some meta thoughts I have about what sort of cultural educational and military system would produce the interesting client-state relationship between the turian Hierarchy and the Vol Protectorate.
Disclaimer: The opinions of the author (me) are naturally my own and are not intended to argue for or against anyone else’s ideas. This is not even intended to be an interpretation of canon, in point of fact. Canon doesn’t have much to say about things that actually interest me. -shrug-
This is my ‘plausible’ version of conceptual options and social structures that canon either glosses over or fumbles entirely. Because it’s just not interested in these ideas, really ... BUT I AM. :D
If you find any of these concepts compelling? Fantastic, please liberate them! Go and use them in any or all transformative work with or without attribution.
I really Do Not Want to be the only one writing this stuff, so... be welcome!
Full post (long) underneath the cut.
The Situation
The turian Hierarchy makes first contact with the Citadel some 1000 years after the volus have drawn up the Unified Banking Act (300 B.C.E.) and have a thriving economic network of colonies after discovering FTL travel. The volus in point of fact have more than a millennia of advanced experience in working with multi-species ventures and are a pillar of the galactic economy long before the turians finish off their brutal Unification Wars.
If you took just the game’s on-screen hints as fact, none of this is evident in the galaxy by the time Shepard encounters volus on the Citadel. They’re treated as a sort of minor curiosity in comparison to the turian characters -- whether because of the mask, or just because economics is “less interesting” in a AAA-shooter. OH WELL.
Another interesting element is that the volus are “accepted” as a protectorate of the Hierarchy around 700 C.E., shortly after the Krogan rebellions.
To my mind, this is translation for: the Hierarchy’s war economy in the aftermath of the Krogan rebellions would have collapsed without the intervention of volus administrators, economists, logicians, and other bureaucratic types. What the Hierarchy DOES have of a peacetime bureaucracy was likely or nearly entirely trained and reformed by the Vol Protectorate’s extremely professional civil service. Fight a series of wars and warlords in the colonies for around 1000 years while someone else is running the galactic banking system ... and you’re probably woefully behind the curve in that area, just saying.
When you’ve “elevated” one warlike species (the Krogan) and then been surprised that they’ve gone on to aggressively contest the rest of Citadel space, it even seems likely/possible that this was a grand strategic bargain on the part of the Citadel species to avoid the turians becoming a “second” Krogan incident.
A values-driven and rules-based collectivist civil society that managed to transition to a peacetime footing without an accompanying economic collapse would be a much more stable galactic force ... plus you get the opportunity to fill in C-Sec ranks, develop a galactic security fleet (employing turian Dreadnoughts), and use those related tasks and duties to bring turians (an otherwise very militaristic society with a historical doctrine of total war) into better compliance as galactic citizens. In essence: the Vol Protectorate gives the Hierarchy something to protect rather than conquer.
Naturally, turian cultural perspectives on the purpose of the Hierarchy and the relative values of the culture probably run the gamut from the more imperialistic Unification and pre-Unification end of the spectrum to the more socially/galatically communitarian version of the Hierarchy, itself, as a participant in creating civil society within the Milky Way.
When in doubt? I prefer to view individuals on a spectrum or continuum of different possible viewpoints -- and to prefer that a full spectrum of interpretations be available to my characters. So that’s the type of environment I’d use as backdrop for, say, a fic.
Education (Given: The Situation)
Which takes us back to the Hierarchy’s mandatory service culture and boot camp at age 15, with mandatory service from age 15-30.
“Public service” as opposed to private industry is more a matter of organization and aims than it is a limitation of ‘choices.’ Take, for instance, the example of ‘national’ industries owned by a state. Any state-owned enterprise might conceivably count toward ‘public service’ citizen credit. These enterprises could include everything from arts museums and public art projects (ala the Works Projects Administration of Roosevelt Depression-era US policy) to industrial fabricators, dockyards, and other collectively owned and operated institutions.
Note that I also don’t equate state-owned industry to CENTRALLY-PLANNED industry! You might, in a turian society that prizes both individual accountability AND public service, have for instance a federated system of local control within a centrally-organized public works or other department.
Fair warning: this is my professional bureaucrat side talking. There are MANY aspects of infrastructure, particularly public works infrastructure, that are site- and context-dependent. Central planning of these features quite literally doesn’t work outside of administration and funding (which you WANT organized in larger packages if possible, to secure the best possible loan terms).
I also imagine that a public service-oriented society would work on incorporating the economic fates of its outer colonies into the trading lanes and patterns of the central Hierarchy (in order to secure greater loyalty and collective bargaining power, alongside the Vol Protectorate’s economic management engine).
So what would education in a “man-of-action”/”public service” society look like? I’d think more a system of apprenticeships and practical qualification or on-the-job (OJT) training and certification where available!
A boot camp experience is usually important both for training in values and standard procedures, so it’s less likely to vary appreciably between any one place and another beyond basics related to climate and environment. I’d expect boot camp training to be purposely standardized -- individual accountability doesn’t necessarily lead me to conclude that turians would be keen to judge themselves on anything other than “demonstrated merit” (and testing would be ONE part, but probably not the most significant -- outside of genuine performance on practical tasks, and the ability to produce measurable results!).
Pre-boot-camp education would likely be designed to expose juveniles to as many professions as possible -- there’s a bit in the codex about the turian respect for “knowing one’s place” and finding a comfortable place where the individual best serves the community (rather than individual prestige or economic gain). This would also track with turians being ‘poor’ entrepreneurs (i.e. less inclined to start their own businesses for profit, or with less opportunity when they’re in State-mandated service) ... and account for some of the distrust of ‘merc-born’ turians who chose to opt out of the traditional Hierarchy structure.
I’d also expect a classical turian education to include emphasis on health, community values, and being able to communicate in a general way with their volus partners/collaborators in areas that are less often viewed as strengths of turian culture (aka: economics and business, anyone?).
If turian culture is truly militaristic and communitarian, both, and formed around a sort of military hierarchy, that society will also be shaped by what doctrine views as effective deployment of force and possible missions and required capabilities In military terms, this would be defined both by a theoretical ‘ideal’ force structure and various desired concepts of operations.
Military Doctrine (Given: The Situation)
So, what capabilities would be valuable for the turian Hierarchy to provide to the galaxy? What are its internal needs? What are the needs of its closest allies and partners?
We already know (or suspect) that Dreadnoughts are one sign of military status. These immense warships are required to secure and hold space stations and other important remote outposts, alongside the smaller cruisers, frigate wolfpacks, and other space Navy-type forces.
We can also consider C-Sec (civil and criminal investigation on the Citadel, security for ports, anti-smuggling operations, etc.) as a separate civil branch and outgrowth of skills are learned and taught within the Hierarchy and something of a stereotypical (and desirable!) turian job outside of Hierarchy space.
Other valuable services provided by the Hierarchy include staffing and operating a force (32 fleets!) large enough to secure not just Hierarchy space but also to protect the Citadel. Turians canonically value combined arms and disciplined maneuver warfare, decentralized command-and-control, and are also the primary military arm and security force for the rest of the galaxy.
In summary: the turians are so good at staffing and maintaining fleets that the rest of the Council species seem to prefer handing these civil functions over to the turians in proportion to their relative expertise and cultural strengths.
All of the above implies that turian culture would need to be an extraordinarily flexible (structurally) society, if individually somewhat set and rigid in expectations and values for fulfilling assigned duties.
I’d believe that assignments, once given, were equivalent to anyone else’s ultimatum! I’d also imagine that turians would find it VERY personally important to seek out roles where they could fulfill all potential assignments to the best of their individual abilities, and that ‘finding’ that place/role in society would be akin to a life path.
Amateurs Study Tactics
A short aside that warfighting ability, alone, at least on an individual level, is a minor strength in comparison to building an effective collaborative combined arms force. The organization required at an individual level? Not much! Just personal training and supply.
Problems mount as soon as the force expands in size, complexity, and desired mission capabilities. I could see volus economists and logicians, as well as military scholars, being the preeminent organizers and administrators of turian force structures. I could see the volus economic influence being a quite effective force multiplier for the turian Hierarchy, in terms of creatively organizing fleets and their sub-units into autonomous mission-capable interchangeable “parts” which all know how to work together and communicate to achieve complex adaptability and integration of vastly different forces, hardware, and weapons systems at a variety of scales (from galactic, to orbital, to low-orbit, to planetside ground).
Which leads us to ...
Professionals Study Logistics
This is just the study of the application of “effective force.” What makes a force effective? It needs to be supplied with personnel and materiel such that it can accomplish its assigned mission -- preserve the capability of the force through the supply of the necessary tools at the right time, alongside the ability to maintain, repair, replace, or rotate those tools as needed.
A force that has been improperly positioned (is too far forward of supply lines, or too far in the rear to be applied at the right time) is by definition an ineffective force. It is unavailable to accomplish the mission.
There’s a long, rich tradition of economists studying the choice behaviors of nations seeking war, the application of deterrence, and the conditions of victory and defeat on a multitude of different battlefields in different historical and cultural contexts. We get just about NONE of this (barring some high-level generalizations) in Mass Effect, proper!
If we did, we might have seen a bit more nuance in illustrating the Vol Protectorate as not just the economic backbone of Citadel space, but also the preeminent experts in military grand strategy and supply. They’re likely the most closely associated Citadel species and have the most experience collaborating with turian systems of organization! The volus would be just as good at turian military history as turians are, if not BETTER observers and critics on the logistics/economics side, in terms of patterns of thinking and history!
At some point I’m going to have to write the “lessons learned” memo on the First Contact War from the point of view of an eminent volus logistician and economist (ala Thomas Schelling).
Because I’m a nerd, and if the FCW was a failure due to logistics and supply errors? You can just BET the volus were kept out of the First Contact loop as a some sort of power play on the part of less-qualified frontline personnel... no, they’re not salty about that, why do you ask?
-
HATE ME YET? Yeah, I can’t stop thinking about this stuff, either ... and now you know why my fanfiction is the way it is. :D
#mass effect meta#turian#volus#apparently i have TOO MANY THOUGHTS#ferus chats#my way of thinking#shrug#jazz hands#it is what it is
82 notes
·
View notes
Text
Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you ever think about the fact that Punz’s hoodie is white?… like do you think he got home after the prison break and saw splotches of blood stains on his hoodie (from Dream’s hug) and got concerned? Or did he brush it off as injuries from the fight or whatever…
Like just imagine, hours later after the adrenaline has died down and he’s taking off his white hoodie and he notices blood. Alarmed, he looks down at himself but sees no wounds as expected. He scans his brain - then where would the blood be from? And then he thinks about their meetup, this time noting Dream’s appearance. The tears in the orange jumpsuit, the blood new and old crusting its edges, the scars peppering the spots of skin not covered and he realizes that “little south” meant Hell…
#c!punz#sorry don’t mind me and my random thoughts…..#c!dream#c!staged duo#c!stagedduo#staged duo is clearly rotting my brain apparently. send a medic 🤦♀️…#c!dream and c!punz#c!drunz#dreblr#dsmp#dream smp#have I filled up the whole page of staged duo tags yet? lol XD…#this is fine#just trying to empty out my drafts for the sake of my sanity… too many ideas and not enough time :)#(I blame Error for this btw lol XD…)
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
putting my hands on your shoulders looking directly into your eyes why are you so insistent that Dazai is faking every emotion every second of every day except when he's acting mean or evil why do you think his dark side is more true than his happier or sillier sides
do you not also have multiple facets you show different people? are we not all beautiful multifaceted individuals? are your actions and reactions not influenced by your emotions and state of mind?
can't he laugh at his own jokes? can't he fondly think of the Agency? can't he be dramatic because he wants to? can't he be surprised by something suddenly happening, even if he knew it would happen? do you not jump when the jack in the box gets out even if you were the one working the mechanism?
why would the mean persona be more real? why would any and all joy be faked? why are you only allowing him misery?
#sorry i saw one too many posts talking about dazai's ''masks'' and how he hides his true self from the ada#and what of it if he still has the potential to hurt others? what of it if he's good at hurting? every day he chooses not to lean into it#not too far at the very least.#isn't kyouk.a skilled at killing? did she not choose not to do it?#i'm not saying dazai's never acting (because it does happen) i'm saying too many people are too quick to brush off-#every non-serious non-mean emotion as ''playing an act''#why would the mean persona not be a fake?? you thought about that??? what biases are you holding here#he makes jokes. he acts silly. he's a drama queen. he loves it.#you know what IS tiring? having to look evil and untouchable and impassive in front of a whole organization every day as a teenager#as soon as he gets to lupin with od.a and ang.o he goes silly mode. heck- when he *met* ang.o it was because he went silly mode.#as soon as chuuy.a is in proximity he starts yelling children's insults and starts stupid competitions#his silly mode is just as integrated into his personality as the capacity to be the scariest most evil person you've seen#they are not mutually exclusive and having the capacity for either does not mean acting on them#as asagiri said in an interview: bsd isn't about change it's about adaptation. kyouk.a has the talent to kill. she just chooses not to.#dazai has the skills to be evil. he just chooses good.#that got long in the tags sorry#apparently i talk sometimes
328 notes
·
View notes
Text
random note about king on that animation, i got really lucky with how simple his animation was and how clean my sketches were to begin with that i was able to do very minimal cleanup on what i had sketched (and add back. his horn. it's supposed to take place just after echoes of the past, Oops) and call it done that way instead of having to redraw the entire thing like i had to on his dad
first sketch > line cleanup > nearly final animation (i'd added slight eye movements last-second but otherwise that's the final)
#toh#the owl house#animation#gif#king clawthorne#the lineart slightly flickers on his one paw where i had to erase the tag and i thought it would bother me a lot more#but most people seem to use the internet on their phones - coupled with the darker palette and color of his fur#it basically completely hides it#based on feedback i don't think a lot of people realize i made that and it's not a gif from the show lmfao#BUT ITS STILL REALLY NICE THAT PEOPLE THINK IT IS!!!! I AM NOT AN ANIMATOR I AM JUST A HOBBYIST...#i animate like once a year... shits hard man.... but apparently when i do animate. its extremely good :) proud of that#even if i have an extremely unhinged way of animating#i don't have an animation program i draw everything individually frame by frame in photoshop#each character had their own psd file with the same background and every frame was its own group. twice. one for sketch one for colors#i do test takes with gifcam (there are literally 55 WIP gifs in my documents folder rn) by switching between layers and taking a 'frame'#and i compile in blender's video editor and to move things separately i save each character's frame in its own .png 'cel'#so luz was her own 'cel'. king was his own 'cel.' etc. and then i have to manually slide the lengths of the frames around#to match the right framerate. traditionally animation is animated at 24 FPS on 2's - so 12 frames a second. i go on 3s. 4 to slow down#anime-ass framerate. i'm insane apparently but its what i like to do#i dont understand real animation programs they have too many pieces but i DO understand photoshop and my funny brushes#imagine having Digital Programs and Still basically doing ye olde traditional animation method just in the computer#if im Just making a gif then i only use gifcam and switch between layers. like digital stop motion. somethings wrong with me
334 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?
ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever
#I did start to try to deep dive before I realized it was too much#but I was reminded that when Louis was doing txf as a judge while fizzy was struggling#many people thought he had been pressured somehow into it; later when we knew what had been going on people were like#oh maybe he just wanted to be close to home to deal with fizzy stuff or somethng#but also: keeping fizzy stuff quiet would potentially be the info we didn't have at that time that could answer that q too of what they use#given the DW🤝simon jones🤝simon cowell cursed connections#(for the newbies: simon jones aka DWs bestie is Louis' publicist for no apparent reason even now long after he has gotten free of the rest#of the modest/syco/simon cowell shitshow)#anyway another example of story trading in our fandom is zayn's baby sister's teen pregnancy#which was known to the fandom early on but kept super quiet by respectful fans- during this time Z did some unprecedented actual interviews#for no obvious reason#and then iirc pretty much the day she turned 17 a very lowkey article reported on her marrying her bf and mentioning a pregnancy#but as if it was recent not like 7 months along#and even when she gave birth soon after it was all kind of... glossed over and around and not reported until a little later#blah blah blah#I felt like it was weird to talk about this for some reason but when I thought about it#I don't know if it matters. Like maybe talking about him not being a dad and being gay or whatever at all is bad#but assuming we're doing that anyway. why not talk about the struggles around that#and the creeps holding it over his head#dan wootton
290 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#us election venting beware:#i am actually a bit annoyed at all the people that told me i was just being pessimistic and it's not healthy to think the worst of people#when yet again we have proven the worst of people wins#and even if it doesn't win (it will) it is still so significantly mobilized and out there#like i know it's not helpful. but i TOLD YOU. everyone thought it wouldn't happen and it DID.#just like nobody thought it would happen THEN and i was apparently the only one around me who saw it coming.#now can we PLEASE take this problem SERIOUSLY and get off our fucking asses and admit it's fucked out there??#the core of our system is bad. it is rotting and the proof is in this joke of an election#so can every white liberal get off my ass for 'bringing down the vibe' or whatever?#you people have been LAZY for a long time. you have been comfortable and unmotivated and been doing NOTHING.#quit focusing on doing your best by voting and get the fuck out there and disrupt. radicalize!#'common sense' is not enough and it never was#i hate to say it but believing the best in the masses in this deeply racist country will disappoint you every time#and i can't believe so many people fell for it again!!!!#i know it's unfair but#i'm finding it really difficult to sympathize with people in my community who are sad and disappointed#when i watched you do NOTHING for YEARS#(not for the people that are actively in danger. my heart breaks for you. i will not stop fighting for you. you didn't deserve this.)#i have never believed that people are fundamentally good and i'm sorry if that's mean but it's just not true#people are fundamentally neutral and you have to WORK to push them towards 'good'#and for too long the pushing has been going in the other direction. but 'pushing' at all is uncouth to you people i guess#get over your decorum. get over your morals that mean nothing. no one else is playing by your rules. DO something. CARE MORE.#sorry. i'm angry. i am filled with rage. and it is mostly directed towards the white intellectual elite.#to anyone who is blindingly furious i see you and i am with you lmao.#to anyone that wants to say 'i told you so' you are so valid.#we keep going.#futhermore: 'it's only four years. we'll recover.' BITCH#ONLY four years? that's four years of DAMAGE that will really hurt people in the meantime#and set up a whole host of problems for the future! the courts my god.#four years of bullshit policy and shit we will have to spend years untangling just to get back to even thinking about making any progress
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
i finally deleted twitter! it sucks that i’ve lost that little corner of the fandom, but it didn’t make sense to maintain once it was in musk’s hands, so this was long overdue. i will always credit the skam fandom that i found over there back in 2017 for shaping me as a writer, as well as for inspiring me to travel. i know it was considered a toxic place for the fandom even back then, but it was a platform i grew up with and could communicate on, which meant i connected with some very lovely people. i was devastated when my original account was suspended back in like, 2021? because i had lost a lot of early writing and some friends who had moved on to other fandoms at that point. but i tried to take screenshots of what i had left. a lot of my links to twitter won’t work now, either, but that’s what you get when you depend on someone else as an archival tool.
anyway, a couple of years ago i was thinking about even’s notebook and that became these tweets below the cut. my shorter ideas might end up here now, or on bluesky.
#where’s that community meme where she’s like i can excuse racism but not animal abuse or something#apparently i could tolerate musk’s fascism but i drew the line at AI#and it wasn’t even a line because it’s already too late#if you’re on twitter now#you’re feeding your work into generative AI training#and i don’t want to do that with my own thoughts or even screenshots of what julie created#but it’s super hard to delete an internet presence because it feels like that’s all that’s left of me#if i’m not on the internet then do i even exist#probably why i have so many rules for what i post#my way of controlling my existence in a world that is spinning out#anyway rip to all the fics that started as twitter threads#i wouldn’t have anything if i couldn’t scratch them out over there first#tumblr and bluesky and ao3 are mostly it now#i do have an instagram but meta is nearly as bad#ugh just email me#oof and i have to delete links in bios too#um i guess this is kerrywrites
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm back on my bullshit thinking about the Hawke siblings again and how much I love a "both twins live" AU... but y'know what I love just a little bit more? An AU where all three Hawke siblings are alive, but one of the twins still get attacked by the ogre in Lothering and is presumed dead when they actually survived.
I like to think that since the narrative in DA2 is framed as a story Varric's telling Cassandra, we can play around with the fact that he's an unreliable narrator. Varric wasn't there in Lothering. He only knows what Hawke told him. It makes for a better story if Leandra, Hawke, and the surviving twin get to huddle around the dead twin and say their goodbyes... especially if they didn't actually get to do that. I mean, a lot of us already have that train of thought when it comes to Leandra's death and Hawke getting some closure through her final words telling them how proud she is. Whose to say Varric didn't do that for the lost twin, as well?
All that to ask what if the ogre attack happened, but the group was so overwhelmed by darkspawn they had to flee further and couldn't check the twin who "died?" Flemeth still showed up, but it was too late to go back and say goodbye.... so Hawke made a deal with the Witch of the Wilds and they all pushed forward to Kirkwall.
Imagine Bethany, left behind with broken bones and bleeding in the sand, fading in and out of consciousness as the remaining darkspawn surround her. She knows how to heal, how to fight back, but she's weakened. Her staff lays out of reach. Air shakes in her lungs. She tries to call for help, but only wheezes come out. Where's her mother? Her siblings? Did the ogre get them, too?
At this point, we all know what happens to the women darkspawn take, and Bethany could've met that fate; she doesn't have the strength to fight back as they drag her away. But before they can bring her underground, she's saved by another group of survivors. Perhaps they're more soldiers fleeing Ostagar, or townsfolk who recognize her from Lothering. They do what they can to treat her wounds but she needs a healer, so they bring her with them to seek refuge in Redcliffe... except they eventually realize she's an apostate. Well, she doesn't seem dangerous, but they still contact the templars.
Bethany wakes in a warm but unfamiliar bed with skilled healers tending to her. Templars hover by the doorway. First Enchanter Irving greets her, gentle in explaining she's safe inside of Kinloch Hold and that she's going to survive. When Bethany asks about her family, he gives her a sympathetic smile and says they only found her.
Bethany, who never took to embracing her magic the way her older sibling did and always felt like it burdened her family... has lost that very family. Could they survive the ogre and darkspawn? Or did the ogre tear them apart, too? How did she survive... but not them? Did the Maker really have such a sense of humor? How else would she end up in the Circle, a place her family went to great lengths to keep her safe from?
She doesn't want to think about it. She hopes they made it to Kirkwall, but the prickle of dread that crawls up her spine knows how unlikely it is. Bethany finds comfort in speaking with the mages who rotate in to heal and bring her food. Some feel trapped by their magic just as she does, but others remind her of her older sibling in the way they embrace their magic, a gift from the Maker. The younger apprentices who aid the mages ask her questions about what lies beyond the walls. The templars mostly keep their distance, but one is friendlier than others. A man with curly blonde hair and a sympathetic view of the mages bothers to speak to her more than his fellows do.
She's still in recovery when Uldred and his blood mages attack the tower, but she survives. Bethany heals, even as she's haunted by nightmares of the ogre wrapping its tainted hand around her body to crush her, flinging her aside to lay among the limp bodies of her family... haunted by the horrors the blood mages unleashed on the tower. She aids in restoring the tower the best she can, and accepts her new home, her new life. When she's well enough, she lights a candle for each of them; her father, mother, her eldest sibling, her twin... she even lights a candle for the family mabari, and prays to the Maker to give them her love as they stand at His side.
The Blight ends. Years pass. Bethany settles into her new life, becoming a fine example for the younger apprentices she mentors. She witnesses wrong doings against her fellow mages, loses friends to their harrowings or tranquility. She accepts what she is, even if bitterly. The Chantry's teachings about magic scar more than enlighten; she sees it in some of her fellow mages, feels it in herself. Secret meetings. Whispers of escape, of freedom. More escape attempts. Harsher restrictions.
Around this time, back in Kirkwall, Knight-Captain Cullen stands where he always does in the Gallows courtyard. He notices Hawke appear with some of their companions. It hurts to think back to Kinloch Hold, but something occurs to him: he knew of another Hawke who was brought to the Circle while he served there. They only spoke once before... well, before. He wonders if there's any relation. When Hawke wanders over to speak to him, as they always do, Cullen brings it up.
Hawke pales. A beat of silence. Cullen recognizes heartbreak; he sees it unfold in their eyes and swell in their throat as they realize that all this time, their baby sister was alive.
Then the day comes where new whispers float among the mages in the Circle. A visit by a Grey Warden. Most, including Bethany, assume he's here to recruit... until Irving comes to her. He says this warden's requested, though more like insisted, he see her now. But then Irving smiles; the warden in question said his name is Warden Carver. He received an urgent letter that his sister is here, alive, and he demands to know if that's true.
Bethany nearly collapses when she sees him.
While the reunion can't last; she can't leave the Circle and he has his calling; the twins embrace, sobbing out apologies and exclamations that they thought the other was gone. Carver tells her of Kirkwall, the expedition that led him to the Grey Wardens, and their older sibling's status as Champion. With a gentleness she never knew her brother to have, he tells her what happened to their mother, and more tears flow freely. Their sibling learned about her from a templar, though Carver grumbles that the bastard could've said something sooner.
There's the Maker's humor again.
...Now flip the script: imagine Carver being left behind instead.
For as strong and passionate as he is, that ogre still picks him up and slams him to the ground. Bones crack. Black splotches flood his vision, agony exploding across his skin. His sword flies from his hand. The soulless bastard tosses Carver aside like he's nothing, and he's left to lay there. His mother's cries muffle in his ear as though he's stuck underwater, sinking slowly into the dark.
It figured, honestly... that he'd survive Ostagar while his fellow soldiers were cut down all around him, that he and his eldest sibling would flee the field when all hope was lost... that he'd make it home to get his family out of Lothering... only to die protecting his mother. And why not? He is a protector. A warrior. It's a honor to die saving those he loved... so why didn't it give him peace?
Carver eventually wakes in the night among the bodies of fallen darkspawn. Everything aches painfully hot and his thoughts reject coherency. He knows his family is gone; they're dead, or they've fled... either way, he's alone; left behind. Something's broken inside of him, but he has just enough will to pull himself up at the sound of approaching footsteps. A group of survivors find him- funny enough, the same group who aided Bethany in an alternate timeline. Imagine that.
That's how Carver ended up in Redcliffe's Chantry with an overworked healer tending to him. He doesn't even flinch when the mage works their magic on him, knowing all too well the sensation of healing magic seeping into his skin, mending the flesh. He tries not to think of Bethany, or what might've happened to her.
The Chantry's overwhelmed with townspeople hiding from a danger outside that he can only assume is darkspawn... except it's not. He wonders how hard he hit his head when he hears the undead have come from the castle to slaughter what they can of the town every night. But then he sees it with his own eyes when one breaks in, taken down by a templar, and never before has he ever felt so useless.
Then the last two remaining Grey Wardens arrive. They're crucial in the final fight against the undead, swearing to enter the castle to stop the attacks at the source. While Carver couldn't participate in the final fight, something he complained loudly about, he did what he could in his condition to help like sharpening swords and handing out supplies. Mostly to keep his sanity and quite his thoughts throughout his recovery.
When the time came, he took up his sword again in the name of all those he lost.
An archdemon was said to be on the horizon, and the Grey Wardens needed everyone they could get to fight. Carver fights in the battle of Denerim where the Hero of Fereldan defeated the archdemon. He cuts his way through every darkspawn he sees. Ostagar flashes red behind his eyes. Lothering clutches at his heart. So much anger and sorrow built up inside him, flooding out in his tears and screams. Blood everywhere. Fire and smoke.
Then it's over.
In the aftermath of the Blight, like so many others, Carver has no home to return to. No family. He thinks to go back to Lothering to help rebuild, only to hear the lands were too tainted. These tainted creatures took everything from him... That's what eventually brings him to Vigil's Keep, standing before the Hero of Fereldan themself, asking to be made a Grey Warden. He already dedicated nearly two years of his life to killing darkspawn, and he had nothing else. Even when faced with the Joining, holding the chalice of darkspawn blood and being told to drink, he didn't flinch.
Life as a Grey Warden isn't as simple as he assumed it would be, but Carver finds purpose in his calling. Over the years, he grows to view his fellow wardens as family. He travels all over Thedas, venturing down into the Deep Roads to help clear out hoards of the darkspawn. But then comes the day he finds himself in Kirkwall, and it doesn't take long before he hears the name Hawke on the lips of the townspeople. His eldest sibling was not only alive, but they're quite popular among the people. But what about Mother? Bethany? He doesn't have to snoop too far to learn templars took Bethany away to the Gallows, and that Leandra Hawke was the final victim in a string of murders committed by a blood mage.
Carver finds himself standing outside the estate, glaring at the door. Furious. Heartbroken. Bitter. He wants to scream. This entire time, they lived. He's torn between wanting to reunite with his older sibling again, to get the truth from them, and wanting to barge into the estate, demanding answers to how they could let the Circle take Bethany... after what Carver sacrificed, how could they let Mother die like that? Was it all pointless in the end?
He leaves without knocking. He can't bring himself to see them. Not that it mattered. Before he could leave Kirkwall, the tensions with the qunari finally overflowed, and chaos fell upon the city. He's forced face to face with his older sibling again, but he wasn't prepared to watch the recognition slowly bloom on their face, or for all his anger to turn to mush. Carver's the first to speak.
"Somehow, I knew it would be you."
.............So, yeah. I really like this idea.
#da2#dragon age 2#bethany hawke#carver hawke#long post#there are so many routes you can take with this too like hawke finds out bethany's alive in fereldan's circle#and they gather all their companions like 'y'all we're doing a heist' 'great what are we stealing?' 'my sister'#'...isn't your sister dead?' 'APPARENTLY NOT'#or carver and anders could know each other from the wardens and one day anders tells hawke that they remind him of another warden he knew#and hawke is like '.............that little shit survived and he didn't tell me?? i'm telling mother'#OR both bethany and carver end up as wardens and happen to run into each other like '????? I thought you were dead?????'#and tbh bethany doesn't have to end up in the circle or carver with the wardens. that's just the paths i explored#maybe they're found by the warden and alistair who have wynne fix them up and they join the dao party#hell this could be backstory for an inquisitor carver or inquisitor bethany in dai#also yes this post is my way of saying that i love this idea but i'll probably never turn it into a fic so let me gush about it this way
124 notes
·
View notes
Text
Been thinking on the black chainsaw man design and I agree that that is definitely an umbilical cord! I keep coming back to the fact that it is wrapped around his neck- and the absence of his mother in this story. Makima was the closest Denji has gotten to that kind of motherly nurturing and care, and we all know how he has a track record for confusing desire for comfort and affection as romantic love.
Denji, who has been abused from day one by his father, the mafia, public safety, makima, the weapon devils and more, has had to learn what love and nurture is. His mother simply doesn't exist, not even one mention so far that I'm aware of. The irony in that people are now creating theories that he's the birth devil, the boy who nobody gave birth to.
The umbilical cord, snugly wrapped around his neck, the source of all his mother's care for him slowly choking him. All of these food references in the story go back to that first chapter- he's been starved since the beginning, cut off from all nutrients a growing boy would need. He's been fighting since day one to make it and survive, even perhaps moments after he was born.
#csm 171#csm spoilers#like this goes in so many directions for me#us seeing chainsaw man after his last family connection (who he was a father figure to) has died(?)#the first appearance when he rejected makima- is this a form of self-soothing and nurture from pochita?#sorry if this makes no sense I'm just rambling#denji#chainsaw man#having your cord around your neck apparently isn't that dangerous according to google#i nearly gave my mother a heart attack though bc i wasn't breathing with my cord around my neck#like i thought they were intestine originally and like a gorier form of a dog collar but this is so much better#this is also an interesting parallel to makima's chains that came from her general stomach area too
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart) x.
#Takashi Shirogane#Shiro#You're nothingness but shining and everywhere at once.#Allura#The Silver-Haired Princess and Her Silver-Haired Paladin.#Voltron: Legendary Defender#Mine.#I have so many many many thoughts regarding these two.#How both of them were directly victimized by the Galra Empire#and Zarkon#himself#and find themselves in positions of leadership at the forefront of an intergalactic war despite the fact that Allura is a teenaged genocide#survivor who still misses her father and Shiro is a deeply scarred and traumatized pilot-turned-gladiator-against-his-will and neither one#of them have had the space or time to process either of these things.#How differently they handle the immense grief the Galra have caused them.#And that even though they find themselves diametrically opposed to each other's beliefs concerning Ulaz and the Blades they still trust#one another implicitly.#That Shiro looks so much like Alfor it's actually crazy.#How Allura unknowingly made Shiro relive the trauma of losing his crew when she allowed herself to be captured because they're both#inherently self-sacrificing and all-too willing to martyr themselves for the sake of others.#Allura carrying Shiro's essence inside of her before magically transferring it into the clone's body#and how it not only bleached Shiro's hair but is implied to have altered his DNA given his later interactions with the Balmeran crystals#used to power his arm and the Atlas.#That the new arm was Allura's idea and she willingly sacrificed a piece of her heritage for it and for Shiro.#The way they play off of each other when given a moment of levity and all of the potential that was wasted because the writing on this show#is an unbelievably frustrating mess.#In a perfect world where the notorious Season Eight doesn't exist or was competently handled#Shiro is part of Allura's bridal party and the godfather of her and Lance's children.#And he never attempts to dye or change his hair because he loves having a reminder of everything that Allura has done for him and their#importance to and connection with each other readily apparent every time he sees himself in the mirror.
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
"i don't understand ur problem"
great me neither . we have so much in common let's do arson
#im um not looking at the notifs rn#theres too many and its overwhelming#so if i have any asks or replies of the sort im not ignoring u i js dont have energy rn#just thought I'd put it here#apparently one of my posts blew up#i wanna kms#/j#or not
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
prime hydration strawberry lemonade review: 👎 puked on the side of the road and people saw
#i'm okay i think i just overexerted myself#will not be using prime again tho#stole it from my brother he loves the stuff because his favorite youtubers told him to drink it#yeah lol never thought i'd have the problem of puked from overexertion because i was having fun and didn't want to stop exercising#i'm out of shape from the cancer is the problem#spent too many months recovering on bedrest now i can't skate#the good news is since i started doing drills and actively working on tricks i feel like i'm improving!#apparently i need to work on my stamina#beck rambles
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yes, I’m having a completely normal night, why do you ask (<- thought about romana too much and almost started crying earlier)
#this is what being stressed does to a man apparently#I just have so many feelings about her#like yeah she’s fucked up later in life and all that#but also the person she considered her best friend in childhood hated her#and everyone else did as well and thought she was annoying and she just didn’t know#just like#the not knowing you’re disliked but still feeling it#……… (i definitely don't relate a bit too much to that)#romana I would have been your friend#doctor who#romana#romana i#romana ii
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
compilation of lyrics that make me think of 0909
songs featured:
me and my husband (mitski) / where do we go now? (gracie abrams) / close to you (gracie abrams) / the archer (taylor swift) / replica (sasakure.uk) / young girl a (original by , english lyrics by will stetson) / goodbye, my danish sweetheart (mitski) / haze (nervous) / no one noticed (the marlas) / piledriver waltz (arctic monkeys) / nothing (bruno major) / i’m your man (mitski) / sweet (lana del ray) / i wait for you (alex g) / how to disappear (lana del ray) / promise (laufey) / birds of a feather (billie ellish) / hey bunny (baby bugs) / seasons (wave to the earth) / sailor song (gigi perez) / no time to die (billie ellish) / mr loverman (ricky montgomery) / the story of us (taylor swift) / guilty as sin? (taylor swift)
#exposing my 0909 playlist here#and my music taste apparently#technically theres more for guilty as sin but they’re too loose to feature in one screenshot#some of these are just vibes some of these i have many many thoughts about#i wanted to elaborate in the tags. but it would’ve gotten so so long lol#i probably will make art for most of these which would explain my vision better than my words ever could#milgram#0909#luna’s music diaries#webweaving#luna’s weaves
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Iruma is an invasive species within the Netherworld, and like many invasive species he will conquer if left unchecked.
We know at some point, humans and demons interacted though, at some point, they each became each other’s myths. I propose that the separation was intentional on the demon side, relegating humans to bedtime stories. They did this because they knew a single human could elevate or devastate the Netherworld. Humans are weaker in demons in most ways physically but their real strength lies in their cooperativeness and desire for community, adaptability and perseverance despite adversity.
Right from the start, Iruma has unnaturally succeeded in a world that incredibly hostile to him. And yet from the start be began building relationships. We’ve seen demons don’t have much of a concept of ‘friends’ the closest being ‘allies’. The Misfits individually were lazy and self-centered which is what got them sent to troublemakers class. Only when Iruma reached out and formed positive relationships, created a foreign system of giving and receiving help did they really flourish. With each arc, we see the class cooperating and relying with each other more and more, even in individual events. Its helped them grow exponentially in power and personality and only occurred because Iruma planted the notion that they are stronger together.
Iruma is also extremely adaptable not only from his hectic upbringing but his innate humanity. Despite not knowing the context of what is happening during most of his day, he adapts extremely well. He uses what skills he gained in the human world by tweaking them to suit his needs and picked up new demonic skills (such as using Ali-san’s stored magic) very quickly. Part of the ‘special training’ leading up to the Harvest Festival was forcing the kids to break out of just using their bloodline abilities. Iruma has no power himself and thus isn’t limited in what he uses to complete a task. We’ve seen on a few occasions he wins simply because his opponent is too stuck in a particular way of fighting and thinking. Being able to think on his feet and not just stick to the familiar is what makes him such a fierce opponent.
Finally, we’ve observed that demons on the whole are self-centered and lazy. This is not always the case but overall many lack the ability to pursue or accept change. Even the Six Fingers is all about returning to origins and reviving Delkira, in other words, moving backwards. But since he arrived in the Netherworld Iruma has boldly moved forward. He integrated well into a completely alien environment and not only became popular but powerful very quickly. He worked hard to unlearn an ingrained skill (dodging) to win a contest going head to head with the most powerful student. Even when his fellows wanted to give up, his dedication and well known compassion helped win them the Royal One. He became an expert archer even when his master said most demons gave up, refusing to put in the effort. Challenges that most demons backed down from, Iruma charged on ahead.
Iruma used his ability to bring people together, to adapt to any situation no matter how strange and to see his ambitions through to go from someone who should’ve been eaten on day one to a stand out demon. Iruma himself is a kind, extraordinary young man but he also has a natural advantage in an environment he is unknowingly adapted to. It’s one of the reasons why he will eventually be demon king because who else deserves to stand at the very top than the creature who can outnumber, out-think and outlast any demonic opponent?
#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#i have so many iruma thoughts dont mind me#but this has been on my mind since the harvest festival#Bachiko noting that most demons just gave up learning the bow bc it was too hard#humans are stubborn bastards we dont give up demons... not so much apparently#thus the idea that demons and humans are kept seperate bc humans will just overrun demons#despite their demonic physical advantages they just dont have the strength of character to outmatch a human#it really does explain (other than anime logic) why Iruma has consistantly landed on top every time#in a world supposedly out to kill him#I imagine to some older folks learning that Iruma is a human would scare the shit out of them#along the lines of 'human are space orcs' thinking#also sad thought I've had related but didn't quite have the space to talk about#human scent/blood is known to be alluring to demons#despite his perfume one cant completely cover their smell#perhaps some of Irumas popularity is bc demons are unconsciously drawn to him and his yummy smell#just not knowing why#they still love him for being Iruma but it adds a sad lil tang to their relationship#would they even exist had Iruma been the same but in a demon body?#anyway Ive been writing this on and off all day bye
220 notes
·
View notes