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nilesdaughter · 8 months ago

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La Mécanique du cœur

Fandom: Critical Role Characters: Percy De Rolo, Vex'ahlia, Anna Ripley, Vax'ildan, Keyleth of the Air Ashari, Pike Trickfoot, Trinket (Mention), Syldor (Mention), Saundor (Mention), Scanlan Shorthalt (Mention) Pairing: Perc'ahlia Word Count: 3,017 Note: Here's the "Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart" AU that no one asked for, written for the "Heart" prompt for @percahliaweek. [Also found on AO3.]

Percival’s heart died at the age of eighteen.

That isn’t to say that Percival died, of course.

Rather, the young man in question survived the massacre of his family and the torturous pain inflicted upon him by Anna Ripley, living only by the “grace” of one of the good doctor’s many experimental forays into blending science and magic. Her medical tools made quick work of carving him open, breaking bone and tearing apart wet muscle to then hold his bloody heart in her hands. Within the new cavity of his chest, Ripley installed metallic gears and springs and small weights; where once he functioned through his own biological processes, he was driven by clockwork, the delicate kind that he once tinkered with in his youth.

And so, Percival persisted, though he was now forced to treat his heart like a machine.

x-x-x-x-x

Vex’ahlia’s heart died at the age of nineteen.

That isn’t to say that Vex’ahlia died, of course.

Rather, the young woman in question learned the shattered remains she had left in the wake of Syngorn and Byroden had to be held in a tight fist, guarded just as fiercely as Trinket’s mother had protected her cub in her final hours. As she traveled with her brother and slowly learned the magic of the world around her, she discovered that some of it could be used to wrap her fragile heart with briars and thorns. More times than not, the spike of the vines was an internal and mild discomfort that reminded her to tread carefully. But sometimes (the worst times, she believed), her thorns could be visible for all to see. They wrapped around her entire body in a startling display of gnarled and twisted vines, prickly things that warded off anything that would want to hurt her first.

And so, Vex’ahlia persisted, though she was now forced to act as though her emotions were inconsequential.

x-x-x-x-x

“I don’t trust him,” Vax’ildan said in a murmur, throwing a glance over his shoulder towards the pale human man that they’d just released from one of the many prison cells surrounding them.

“He can help us,” Vex countered. “If nothing else, he at least seems to know where to find this cult we’re apparently looking for.”

“Didn’t you hear his chest?” he pressed.

“Of course I did.”

“Then you agree that something’s wrong with him, or that he’s hiding something, because he hasn’t said a word of that to us.”

“And would you expect me to announce my condition to the entire world?” Vex asked with a quirked brow.

Vax stared at his sister for several long moments before rolling his eyes as he clicked his tongue in frustration. “That’s different, Stubby—”

“Is it?”

He sighed heavily. “Alright, alright, fine, be that way. But if he tries anything weird—”

“I know,” she said simply, because she always understood her brother and his caution. It was, after all, his own way of helping further shield her brambled heart.

x-x-x-x-x

Percy, as Vex learned his name was, managed to fit in with the rest of their group, despite clearly having some sort of noble background. Though he kept to himself, he did what he could to help with the various odd jobs they picked up, particularly so since he armed himself with some of the newfangled black powder weapons that were becoming increasingly popular throughout the world. Despite the weapons being terribly loud and often reeking of the burnt powder, they did pack quite the punch, and his precision with his shots usually allowed them to significantly reduce the amount of time they spent in combat.

The longer he spent with Vox Machina, the more they realized that he was also rather good with repairing things, a talent not restricted to the careful maintenance he had to keep up with so his firearms were in working order. Slowly but surely, it became commonplace to find Percy in possession of their broken odds and ends, piecing things together to repair weapons or to craft something entirely new and useful.

As such, it was not a surprise when Vex noticed Percy pulling out a small tool kit one evening when he had volunteered to take watch and she had yet to fall asleep. What was a surprise, however, was when Percy shrugged off the heavy blue coat he rarely parted with and unbuttoned his shirt. As the fabric fell away from his shoulders, pooling at his elbows, she saw the face of a clock on the front of his chest, resting over the space where his heart would be. What she initially assumed was nothing more than some intricate pocket watch sticking to his skin with sweat was soon proven to be attached to him as he opened the small glass door protecting the face and inserted a small key into one of the lowermost winding holes; as he turned his hand, his expression contorted with discomfort. Still, he turned the key a few more times, no matter how frequently he winced, before the subtle movements of the clock’s hands seemed to move much more smoothly than the jerky pace they had had before he used the key.

“So, that’s what you’ve been keeping secret from us, darling?” she couldn’t help but ask, propping herself up on one elbow as she looked at him.

Percy visibly stiffened, sitting ramrod straight as his eyes widened, before he hastily closed the clock’s door and pulled his shirt back up over his shoulders, his now-shaking hands fumbling to rebutton the garment.

“I, ah, didn’t realize anyone was still awake…” he said instead of answering her question.

Vex fell silent for a few moments, just studying him in curiosity. “Is it magic?”

Percy fidgeted with the collar of his shirt, intently focused on ensuring it lay flat against his throat.

“...I’m sorry for prying, darling,” she said gently, slowly recognizing that she would be equally evasive if the situation had been reversed.

Percy sighed a little and clasped his hands together in his lap before hesitantly meeting her gaze. “No, it’s… You all were bound to find out eventually.” He paused to tug off his spectacles before using the corner of his shirt to clean the lenses. “Yes, it is magic, but not by my own doing. I admittedly lack the interest, much less the aptitude, for such things. And, regardless of how I came by it, this is the only thing keeping me alive.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, more out of sympathetic understanding than pity.

“It is merely the current circumstances I have to live with.”

“...Does it hurt?”

Percy was quiet for several moments before he sighed and let out a small, almost exasperated, laugh. “Perhaps you could join me for the watch? I’ll happily answer whatever questions you have, dear, but it may be a bit more comfortable for you to sit up while we talk.”

x-x-x-x-x

Despite how carefully Vex guarded her emotions to keep her thorns under the surface of her skin, Syldor would always be one of the catalysts for pushing them up into plain view of everyone. It seemed like a miracle that her anxiety waited to take full bloom until after Vox Machina left the embassy. But it also seemed like a curse that it happened when Percy was still at her side even as everyone else had moved on to their rooms. As she heard the subtle creak and groan of the vines grow louder and felt the full-body prickle of the thorns forming, she let out a strangled noise of frustration.

Although Percy’s eyes widened in alarm, he had the decency to not jump away from her like some others had in the past.

“I… suspect you’re not alright,” he said tentatively.

She laughed, wet and strangled and lacking any true mirth, as she shook her head. “No, of course not. He’s supposed to be in Syngorn! I don’t know why he had to be here in Emon of all places.” She sighed and wrapped her prickly arms around herself, trying to further the physical shield around her form.

“If it will make you feel better, dear, we don’t actually have to search for your… for the Ambassador’s acquaintance.”

“No,” she said, vehemently shaking her head. “No, I… I don’t want him to know that I’m this upset about seeing him. I can’t let him know.”

“He isn’t aware of the thorns,” Percy guessed.

Vex swallowed and answered in a soft voice, “No. It was a kind of magic I learned after I left his home.”

“Then he won’t know,” he promised. “Even if that means the rest of us have to speak to him without you present.”

Vex tentatively turned her dark eyes to his blue ones, pools of sincerity that she usually only ever saw in her brother, lacking in judgment for the condition her body was in. Slowly, impossibly, her posture relaxed and the briars and thorns and vines receded under the compassion in his gaze.

“That… means more than I think you realize, Percival. Thank you.”

x-x-x-x-x

"Couldn’t sleep?” Vex asked quietly as she slotted herself beside Percy.

“Of course not,” he said, sounding as numb as his distant stare seemed to indicate. “Not when I know she…” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t think I’ll be getting any sleep until I finally end this.”

Vex nodded and watched him carefully, knowing full well that he was leaving plenty of things unsaid but also knowing he was unlikely to want to disclose any of them. That did nothing to stop her from worrying about him.

“Would you like me to keep you company?”

He was silent for a long while, the only sound between them the steady tick-tock, tick-tock of his heart. He eventually nodded, slow and hesitant. “Yes. I… I would.”

She nodded again and turned her attention to restringing Fenthras while Percy took apart Retort, cleaned the parts, and reassembled the weapon. He seemed more than happy to pass the time in silence, however broken it was by the ticking of his heart. When it grew late enough that Vex was about to suggest they call it a night and join the others in the train’s sleeping car, Percy lightly cleared his throat.

“I have something I would like to give you, Vex’ahlia.”

“Oh?” she asked with a small tilt of her head. Not that it was unusual for Percy to make things for her, of course; it just hadn’t seemed to be one of his priorities in recent days, and understandably so.

“Ah… not my usual fare, I admit, but… but it’s important for you to have, I think, before tomorrow.”

Vex felt a sudden whisper of anxiety in the back of her mind, sounding so much like Saundor that she almost physically winced (or was it because her protective thorns were pricking at her insides?), telling her that Percy was trying to say goodbye in his own way. She refused to entertain the thought and tucked the fear away deep in her chest, beneath the briars.

“What is it?” she asked, forcing her tone to remain light and teasingly curious.

He offered her a weak smile and reached into an inner pocket of his coat, producing a small—but thick—envelope. When he passed it to her, there was a surprising amount of heft to it. As she moved to tear the envelope open, he reached out and placed a shaking hand over hers to stop her.

“Please… please wait to open it. I suspect you’ll know when the time is right.”

“...I’ll wait,” she promised softly, once more feeling the prickling pain of her anxiety and once more burying it.

x-x-x-x-x

“No matter what today”—Percy paused to release a shaky exhale—“I forgive you. But I cannot let you leave.”

Ripley let out a noise that seemed caught between a derisive snort and a frustrated growl, grabbing him by the lapels of his jacket with her clockwork arm and flinging him to the ground. The sound of glass cracking seemed nearly as loud and sharp as any gunshot from that afternoon. It was difficult to tell if it was from the shattered ground, Percy’s spectacles, or from the face of his heart; when he managed to push himself up into a semi-sitting position, Vex’s sharp eyes could see that it seemed to have been all of the above.

The glass pieces from the face of his heart were chased by its minute hand as he moved to aim Retort up at Ripley, his own hands trembling hard enough that Vex was certain he would miss the shot. The doctor seemed to reach the same conclusion as she shook her head and leveled Animus at Percy in return, her smile condescending and disappointed.

“It seems to me, Percival, that you are the one who won’t be leaving here today.”

A gunshot sounded, accompanied by the sounds of even more shattering glass and the crunch of wood and various metallic snaps.

As Percy fell backwards, pain erupted all over Vex’s skin as vines wrapped around her body and she screamed and screamed and screamed. She was vaguely aware of Keyleth’s responding cry and Scanlan’s curse and her brother suddenly at her side like a shadow, fumbling to notch an arrow when her hands were usually so sure. She drew back her bowstring, the briars and thorns of her pain indistinguishable from the ones blooming along the curve of Fenthras, the weapon mirroring her own heart, and she released all her grief and rage into the arrowhead that sank into the junction where Ripley’s clockwork arm connected with her shoulder. The others also turned their attention to Ripley, mercilessly cutting into her and breaking her as she’d broken their beloved tinkerer. When the doctor screamed her pain and frustration, the sound was cut short by Vex’s second arrow striking true in her throat.

Ripley’s decimated body barely had time to hit the ground before Vex, vision little more than a blur, dropped Fenthras and ran to gather up the pieces of Percy into her shaking, thorny arms.

x-x-x-x-x

Vex’ahlia, I have no doubt that you or your brother have found the letter I left for the group as a whole. I also have no doubt that you all have read it and are, in varying degrees, rather cross with me. This, however, is meant for you and you alone, dear. I’m aware that giving you my winding key is likely too little, too late, but I wouldn’t entrust it to anyone else. While you now hold the literal key to my heart in your hands, please know it belonged to you long before this. I have many regrets but I think not telling you sooner is the one that I carry with the heaviest burden. I sincerely hope you’ll hold onto this piece of me. Yours, Percival

x-x-x-x-x

“Honestly, what he needs is a clockmaker,” Pike sighed heavily.

“Then… there’s nothing you can do, Pickle?” Vax asked after he cast a sideways glance at his sister, watching her once again reread the letter that Percy had evidently left for only her.

“I never said that,” Pike replied with a small huff, moving to wipe her bloodied hands with a damp washcloth. “I managed to stabilize him but he’ll need a completely new clock to ensure he actually stays alive. Unfortunately, though, I think that’ll have to wait until he wakes up.”

Everyone in the room thankfully left the ‘if’ unspoken between them.

“So, what do we do now?” Keyleth asked, her voice still hoarse and scratchy from how much she had cried.

Pike sighed again, a little softer, and looked over Percy’s form in the hospital bed. “All we can do is wait.”

x-x-x-x-x

Despite Vax’s attempts to coax her out of the room, Vex became a near-constant fixture at Percy’s bedside, his winding key in her pocket and his letter in her hands, watching and waiting for him to open his eyes. Sometimes, for the sake of drowning out the irregular and weak ticking of his heart, she would talk to him, keeping him updated on the team’s misadventures or reading a book aloud.

On one of the many nights she tried to read to him, she found that she couldn’t focus on the words and, with a sigh, she closed the book. As she set the book down in her lap, she looked over at Percy, gnawing at her lower lip as she became lost in thought.

“I don’t know if you can actually hear me, darling, but I’m so proud that you entrusted me with your heart. That you let me see it as plainly now as you did when you first showed it to me. But, yes, I am a bit cross with you for not telling me about your feelings sooner.” She let out a small laugh before she sighed and continued, “It means nothing, though, without you here. Your home needs you. Your sister needs you. I need you. And… I should have told that my heart is yours in return.”

“Oh, good. I was worried I’d simply made a complete ass of myself for leaving you that note.”

Vex’s head snapped up at the sound of his voice and was met with a thoroughly exhausted—but cheeky—smile as Percy struggled to sit up.

“Percy!” she gasped, frustrated and surprised and relieved and giddy all at once, before she nearly flung the book across the room in her rush to move in and wrap him in the tightest embrace she dared.

“It’s good to see you, too, dear,” he said weakly.

As she pulled away from the embrace, she began to pepper his face with kisses, feeling his skin warm considerably under the shower of affection but not caring enough to stop, trying to pour every ounce of her love into him so he couldn’t have any doubt that she reciprocated his feelings.

x-x-x-x-x

Percival’s heart revived at the age of twenty-three and Vex’ahlia’s heart revived at the age of twenty-seven, irrevocably intertwined in each other.

#critical role #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #perc'ahlia #anna ripley #vax'ildan #keyleth of the air ashari #pike trickfoot #jack and the cuckoo-clock heart au #percahliaweek #percahliaweek24 #prompt: heart #Tia writes

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random2908 · 6 months ago

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Every couple years I do a new google deep-dive on all my chronic illnesses to see what new studies there are, and what the scientific consensus seems to be.

Even for my essential tremor--a condition that was first named by the medical establishment 150 years ago--there's a lot that isn't known. For example, they know that for about half of people who have essential tremor, it's hereditary. They're pretty sure that when it is hereditary, it's simple autosomal dominant--a single bad gene just needs to be inherited from one parent. But they don't know which gene, according to most sources; and there's probably more than one that causes it in different families anyway.

Most important to me: how degenerative is it for people with childhood-onset? There's a study from (only) about a decade ago that looked at people with onset over the age of 50 (60?) and found that the later the age of onset, the faster it degenerated. This was so severe an effect that at age 90, someone with onset at age 80 (only 10 years of disease development) would be worse off than someone with onset at age 70.

But what if you had onset at, like, I don't know, age 12? (I don't know exactly when, because I actually don't really notice myself shaking. But 12 was the first time another kid said something to me about it.) How bad is it likely to get for me?

I can't find any answer to that. But what I did find is that for people with hereditary essential tremor (like I have), 20% have onset in childhood. And about 50% of people with essential tremor have it hereditarily (the rest just have it randomly). However, childhood diagnosis is very rare--for example, I was diagnosed at 32, and most people with childhood onset are apparently diagnosed in their 40s or 50s--because no one ever looks for this in children; everyone knows it's an old-age disease, so why would anyone look for it in children. So yeah, major under-studied population, unfortunately.

One study of 211 children diagnosed with essential tremor, none of them had it so severely that it affected their daily life at all. (That's me: a bit of a messy eater, but not so much that you'd think I had an actual neurological disorder.) But this is also a recent study, so there's no follow-up on what happens to them as they age.

Anyway, yeah, that's just for one particular condition I have. I have another condition, eosinophilic esophagitis, that was first named only 30 years ago, and it seems to get completely redefined and re-understood every 5-10 years. So that one I really have to stay on top of, because I can't even trust that all doctors have even heard of it, let alone know what the latest research says about cause and treatment. I was actually denied care once because a doctor thought that if it was drug-responsive it was fake, and she was (at the time) only five years out of date on the research in believing that; that's how fast the field is changing on this. (You know who knew EoE, though? My dentist. He said that's why I went from having only one cavity ever up until my mid-30s to having 1-2 new little cavities per year since then. Because EoE severely messes with mouth pH. Makes perfect sense, but you will not find that in the literature.)

And don't even get me started on migraines, which people have been writing about for literal millennia, but only found the physical mechanism for in I think like 2011, which led to the first-ever* set of preventative drugs becoming available in 2018. New information every year.

*There's this thing where sometimes people get positive side effects from certain meds. Prior to 2018, migraine treatment was about giving you a bunch of different meds to try--outdated anti-depressants, anti-seizure meds, heart meds, even mineral supplements--and seeing if you got a lucky side effect. (I actually did: one of the meds calmed my essential tremor, lol. Nothing worked for my migraines, though.) This is, incidentally, also what's going on with EoE: there's a fairly common lucky side effect where proton pump inhibitors act as local anti-inflammatories, calming down EoE symptoms. That's why some doctors--before they realized that PPIs can have that side effect--used to think that if you responded well to medication, you didn't really have EoE at all, you probably just had GERD and had been misdiagnosed. Even though EoE is diagnosed by biopsy and so isn't really fakeable like that.

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transgenderer · 1 year ago

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okay so i was reading about the crazy rat parabiosis experiments (they gave a rat a brain lesion to make it obese and then hooked its blood up to another rat. and the other rat didnt eat at all and starved. science) and i noticed this crazy diagram

so i checked the paper it's from, and...

The moth was deeply anesthetized with carbon dioxide. The antennae and the fore and midlegs were excised and melted wax was applied with a drawing-pen to cover the entire head and prothorax. Then, with a single transverse cut, the head was removed to leave a collar of wax at the anterior open end of the prothorax. Crystals of an equal-part mixture of phenylthiourea and streptomycin sulfate wer placed in the wound along with enough Ringer's solution to fill the cavity

The pupal partner was deeply anesthetized with carbon dioxide and a disc of integument, about 4 mm. in diameter, was cut from the mesothoracic tergum. Th underlying epidermis was trimmed away with microscissors, care being taken t avoid any damage to the aorta which extends beneath the midline at this point. Melted wax was applied to the integument around the margin of the wound Crystals of phenylthiourea and streptomycin were placed in the wound and the cavity was filled with a few drops of Ringer's solution

The two animals were oriented in a cradle of plasticene and the wax-coated openings were brought into juxtaposition. The pupal abdomen was compressed until the pupal blood filled the narrow opening between the animals, all air being thereby displaced. The junction was then sealed with melted wax to yield a parabiotic preparation such as shown in Figure 1

The preparation was then removed from the anesthesia funn 25? C. Under this condition, the moth commonly initiated ener its wings. In order to prohibit this activity, the wings were pl jaws of a spring-loaded clothes-pin.

okay. so they stuck some moths and pupas together. insane, but like. whatever. i guess. EXCEPT heres what happened

Forty preparations were assembled, of which ten soon died and Table II summarizes the several types of experiments that were p each of the 30 viable preparations the pupal partner initiated adu within ten days at 25? C. Attention is directed to the effects of on the course of this developmen

When the headless partner was a male or female Polyphemus underwent normal adult development. The same was true in 7 of 8 preparations in which the headless partner was a female Cecropia moth. But in all ten prepations in which the headless partner was a male Cecropia moth, the pupa metamorphosed, not into a normal moth, but into a creature which retained lar of pupal cuticle (Fig. 2). It seems necessary to conclude that a male C moth, though headless and without any corpora allata, can somehow favor release of juvenile hormone within the parabiotic preparation

In the analysis of these experiments we have centered attention on the effe the parabiosis on the pupal partner. But, what about the developmental of the other half of the combination-the headless moth? For present purposes suffice it to say that in about a third of the preparations the developmental re of the pupa spread to the adult partner and caused the latter to molt. Th extended over both the thorax and abdomen, but never included the win old adult cuticle was detached from the underlying epidermis and replace smooth new cuticle which was of adult type, except for the generalized of scales or hairs.

this is fucked up huh. the pupa and the moth fucked each other up. neither of them metamorphosed right. also apparently the moths lived longer. moths...

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vampiboi · 1 year ago

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No one here knows Promethean: The Created but I made my own lineage of Prometheans based on the story of Blodeuwedd and I want to share it so Im putting it here. (Image is just for vibes)

Promethean lineage oc "Blodeuwedd"

Nicknames: Flower folk or Owls

Element: Water

Humor: Phlegmatic

Theme: plant life, trickery, getting around fate with clever loopholes, dishonesty, betrayal

Bestowments:

Unnatural growth- The promethean can accelerate and direct the growth of nearby plant life.

Deadly Kiss- The promethean can coat their lips in poison and transfer it with a single kiss.

Traits: Flower folk have an innate connection to plant life and are generally quite good at cultivating gardens even without the aid of pyros. They tend to find their plants to be better company than humans or even other prometheans. They still have an intense fascination with humanity and that same desire to one day become human, as such they will often leverage their abilities to get close enough to observe humanity, providing fruits and vegetables or even just hiding in a bush and watching closely. Flower Folk tend to be quiet with their emotions, putting on a helpful facade and letting their true feeling broil beneath the surface.

Refinements: Flower folk are particularly drawn to the refinements of cuprum and ferrum, cultivating their own bodies as easily as their gardens. Most will also attempt aurum early on in their pilgrimages but will usually only realise their distance from humanity and have to return to the refinement later on when they've grown somewhat.

Disquiet: The disquiet of the flower folk provokes distrust among nearby humans. It begins with a hunch that the flower folk are up to something. People will tend to assume that they're untrustworthy. As disquiet progresses the hunch develops into a certainty and the suspected crimes of the flower folk will grow in severity. They will be accused of plotting conspiracy, murder and betrayal. Their every action taken as proof of these claims until the disquiet grows severe enough that a mob will attempt to remove the troublemaker by force.

Wasteland: The wasteland of the flower folk manifests as plantlife in the area begins to grow out of control. Their azoth energises and provokes the plants, driving them to conquer the vicinity by force. Plants will very quickly grow wilder and larger, taking all available resources for their own growth and choking the life out of any other unfortunate creatures that happen to be in the way. At the highest level of wasteland plants will begin to develop unnatural features and many will take on a carnivorus diet and predatory behaivour.

Torment: The torment of the flower folk manifests as a growing resentmemt of those close to them and a desire to betray those who trust them. The torment of a flower folk begins quietly and often it is not apparent until its explosive climax. The flower folk will begin to resent those close to them, they will feel used and unappreciated, they will begin to regard those around them as a waste of their time energy and will begin to plot betrayal and revenge. These revenge plots can eventually culminate in things like destroying something theyve worked for together, making a big show of aiding enemies or even killing those they feel have wronged them.

Disfigurement: The flower folk usually have quite stiff limbs and often a slight greenish tint to their skin, the use of pyros causes the stiffness of their limbs to become even more apparent. Twigs may be visible poking through the skin of their limbs. Moss may be visible growing around their stiches almost like an infected wound and small blossoms may be visible growing out of any openings on their body. They may sometimes cough up flower petals.

Creation rite: Limbs reinforced with twigs and branches laced internally around the bones and between the muscles, body cavities cut open and filled with moss and flowers before being closed, the thread used to stitch any incisions closed must he made from plant fibres, the body then left submerged within rich soil with an azoth charged seed in their mouth. As the seed takes root within their stomach the promethean will awaken and pull themselves from the soil.

#promethean: the created #blodeuwedd

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crypticdesire · 1 year ago

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Honestly would love to see a top reader and bottom Kifaji similar w/the breeding/pregnancy kinks going on in the Mozus Trein fic, considering no one gives enough love to the bird man :,,,)

oh anon i love you for this ask 🩷

this is kifaji from twisted wonderland that anon is talking about:

i've seen kifaji before but i didn't look into his character since he was in a jp server event and ngl i didn't know if i'd like him with him being based off of zazu from the lion king. i like/don't mind that zazu is stern, diplomatic, and loyal; however, i'm not the biggest fan of his pompous attitude, temper, and panic induced irritability

BUT with that being said, out of respect for a fellow appreciator of old men, i couldn't not look more into kifaji since you like him, and i was pleasantly surprised !! i don't really mind twst spoilers, especially when it comes to events, so i read a translation of the tamashina-mina event to get to know kifaji's character (which can be found here if anyone else is interested)

!! warning !! a couple of very minor spoilers ahead for that event, which aren't related to the event's plot

like i mentioned before, i was afraid that i would find his character annoying but i'm glad you made me challenge that assumption bc there were so many golden moments in the event, especially relating to kifaji's relationship to leona!!

i loved the fact that he taught leona chess and the fact that kid leona cried when he lost to kifaji. too adorable 🥹 and seeing his dynamic with leona and cheka made me think it is totally plausible that kifaji could have some major mommy potential and baby fever hehe. and i already know i'd have so much fun writing dialogue for him given what i read in the event

so anon, thanks to you, i will definitely be writing a fic for kifaji ! i don't officially take requests but i'd like to write something you'd like, since you brought this breedable bird man to my attention. i know you mentioned breeding kink and pregnancy kink, but i also know my trein fic had other kinks like emeto and piss so feel free to lmk if there's other kinks you want or not want included :))

also the fact that kifaji is a bird man sent me down a rabbit hole looking at mating habits of african red-billed hornbills, so i'm gonna ramble about that for a sec bc i was getting multiple fic ideas based off of what i found...

first of all, i was surprised i didn't know until now that only 3% of bird species have external sex organs. apparently while they're embryos they have a gene that stops cells from developing a penis. some scientists think this evolution happened bc females preferred males with smaller penises so they could have more control over who they'd pick as a mate (🗣️ make some noise for micro penises 🫶)

also fun side note: birds with a penis get an erection from lymphatic fluid instead of a rush of blood, which means they have trouble keeping an erection and only last a few seconds during copulation (veryyyy old man coded with the great combo of erectile dysfunction + low stamina + quick to cum)

birds without external sex organs just have an avian vent/cloaca that swells and sticks out during mating season. their copulation is referred to as a "cloacal kiss" bc they just rub their cloacas together to stimulate the flow of sperm into the female's cloaca. they only have one sex position where the male perches on top of the female who moves their feathers to one side to expose their cloaca (i can't be the only one that reads that and thinks of hairy t4t sex right?)

they have sex several times for about a week to ensure the sperm takes and, for african red-billed hornbills, the male finds the nest site

the rest of this is also specific to the african red-billed hornbills where they make a nest in a natural cavity and the female is blocked inside by a plaster of mud until the eggs hatch. they just leave a narrow opening for the male to put food into. (some inspo for some stuffing ideas) the females also moult while they're stuck inside and regrow their feathers back when they leave the nest after the hatching

so yeah that info is giving me lots of thoughts and ideas for the old bird man👍

#yay ! another old man to get pregnant 🥳#tytyty anon 🩷#twst #kifaji #answered.anon #asks

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boy-gender · 2 years ago

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It’s the 3 year anniversary of my top surgery this month!! During pride month even!!

I wanted to I guess just talk about what happened to me? Give a story about a top surgery from start to finish for people looking to pursue top surgery to learn from? It’s gonna be long so, under the cut.

So I got top surgery in june 2020, right smack dab in the early-middle of the pandemic lockdowns. Nobody was allowed to be with me in the hospital or even visit me, and I couldn’t have my cellphone. The night before my fiance slept over to keep me calm, and also we had to leave at 4am because I was going to be the very first surgery of the day. I have cats, and he got a cat hair in his eye causing a massive allergic reaction. We had to extract it but his eye was so messed up that day he couldn’t drive, so I ended up taking him home and my mother in law brought me to the hospital. It was pretty lonely not being able to have him with me or communicate with anyone, and I was terrified I would get covid just from being in the hospital, but luckily I didn’t.

I showed up, checked in, and got situated in a prep area pretty quickly. They tell you to take your underwear off because sometimes people piss themselves while under anaesthesia, which I didn’t know and was horrified by the thought of. Sure you can go play around in my chest cavity but if I peed? I would have flatlined of embarassment on the table. At the end they don’t tell you if you peed or shit yourself or anything so at least if I did I will never have to know about it. In the prep area my surgeon drew on me with a marker to show what was getting taken away and what was going where. I was having a bilateral mastectomy with liposuction on the sides to remove sideboob, and I didn’t want my nipples back, which made her job easier. Within an hour they wheeled me in, told me to count back from 10, someone said goodnight to me and then I was gone.

Several hours later I woke up crying and sweating and insanely hot. I could barely speak, and a nurse was yelling at me because I wouldn’t stay awake. Apparently I had woken up and gone back to sleep several times, but I don’t remember any of that. I must have been able to communicate that I was hot because someone was feeding me ice cubes, but they wouldn’t take the blankets off me and I couldn’t move to push them away. I felt like a helpless child. It was awful. Powerful drugs, man.

My surgeon came in 10 minutes later to check on me after she finished cleaning up, saw how miserable I was, ripped the blanket off me, and yelled at the nurses for not listening to me. It was the first time a doctor had ever taken my side in something and defended me. I will always be eternally grateful for that. They transferred me to a bed, told me not to move around too much because of my drains, and gave me a landline to call home. It was somehow the afternoon, and I think I passed out again.

When I woke up it was evening and they said they were going to keep me over night because I had experienced some sleep apnea under anesthesia- it’s where you briefly stop breathing in your sleep and then start again/irregular breathing. They wanted to make sure if it happened again that they were right there, and also that I would stay on the oxygen tube in my nose. They also gave me this breathalyzer thing that you breathe into and it measures how much breath you breathe. They had me play with it every hour or so to help regain the strength in my lungs.

They (the nurses) also, expressly against my wishes, gave me opioids. I have violent moodswings on heavy painkillers (I got oxy for my wisdom teeth extraction...that was a nightmare). I warned them of this, I said I only wanted tylenol and I would deal with the pain (I wasn’t in any pain, I was just tired). They gave it to me anyways and lo and behold I had violently suicidal moodswings. Thank fuck I was bedbound and couldn’t move. I called my fiance repeatedly throughout the night rapidly shuffling between suicidal and manic. In the off time I was stuck watching 90 day fiancee. It was the only tv channel available.

The next morning I ignored most of the advice they gave me, getting up to go to the bathroom on my own and walking around the hospital floor just to show them that I could. They weren’t going to let me leave until I peed and could ambulate on me own, so as soon as I was awake I did laps just to get them to discharge me. My surgeon okayed it, though I think she was surprised and concerned at the voracity with which I wanted to leave. I didn’t want to stay and have them drug me again.

I went home- it was a Wednesday- and my poor fiance was such a trooper. He picked me up in a car full of stuffed animals for me to cuddle and took me back to my parents house, got me settled, got me a smoothie from mcdonalds. I think we scared the person at the drive thru because I was a haggard corpse in bandages with suction cups of bodily fluids hanging at my sides. Oh well. That week my fiance had started a new job two hours away from our homes and had to commute back and forth, leaving early as fuck to go to work and then coming back to take care of me at night. He moved into our new apartment that Saturday without me (I couldn’t be transported) and with the help of our dear friends. That week sucked.

During the day my mom helped me. Made me food, got me drinks, helped me change my drains, helped me clean myself. I’m lucky we have a bath tub- I was able to sit in a few inches of water and very carefully wash myself without getting my bandages wet. I have autism; my two most prominent symptoms are that I can’t regulate my temperature and always run too hot, and I cannot stand the texture of sweat, being sweaty, or being hot. I constantly have to wash my face and hands like a little raccoon or I go nuts. I would not have survived going a week without showering in some form.

The drains were weird but not painful- you can’t feel them inside you. Everything is so swollen and nerve-damaged you don’t really feel much initially. You have to sleep on your back sitting up though, which sucks for us side sleepers. Invest in a neck pillow is my advice. I slept in my recliner/rocking chair.

I pushed to have my drains removed early, and after a week they were out. While at the appointment I touched a cactus in the lobby and got needles stuck inside me, which my surgeon delightedly told me “nobody has ever been stupid enough to do before.” She enjoyed it. My finger hurt lmao. She took the drains out and I was afraid I’d feel them moving under my skin but I didn’t- all I felt was a gush of warm liquid, like my armpit had pissed itself. Turns out one of my drains was clogged and that was my fluid shooting out all over me, the chair, and my doctor. She said it happens. Unlike patients touching the cactus.

After that I had no more follow up appointments and was on my own. You aren’t supposed to lift your arms over your head or carry heavy things for several weeks, but I ignored that after the two week or so mark. I don’t care about having stretched scars- I have so many scars over my body it doesn’t make a difference. Then I moved to the new apartment with my fiance, healed for a few months, endured the lightning strike shooting pains of my nerves reattaching for the first half year, and found to my amusement that I could still “feel” my nipples but that the spot that felt like nipple would move around from day to day as my nerves misfired. This is still true and still funny to me.

And that’s pretty much it. I had no complications, though because of the lipo and no nipples my scars are large and unusual and almost bisect my torso. My plans are to continue strengthening my chest wall and get the whole thing tattooed, which is why I didn’t want nipples again. They’re in the way of the tattoo design. It’s gonna be a vampire castle with bats flying out in front of a full moon, and a spooky forest below the cliffs.

#top surgery #double mastectomy

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loveandscience · 1 year ago

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been in and out of intense anxiety the last couple days, so maybe writing it here will help

Okay so my old dentist who I loved retired, and gave his practice over to a new guy. Tuesday, I went to try out the new dentist and very loudly in the next room while I had my teeth cleaned, he was telling someone how they didn't need a crown or something because God designed the perfect teeth system?????

And as soon as he introduces himself to me, he out of the blue goes on about a "beautiful sermon I heard" on the way to work, and how this really ill woman had so much faith that she would just get better, and that she "touched Jesus" and was instantly healed. I'm sitting there with his sharp tools in my mouth and he's going on a religious rant and what the fuck am I going to do? He does tell me I have 2 cavities, then overcharges me for the cleaning and "exam."

Decided I really needed a new fucking dentist, and thankfully my friends suggested some to try. So Wednesday, I called a place and they got me in, and they were so nice and professional and I really liked them! They did another exam on me and apparently the last dentist (maybe the one before, too) had missed an entire fucking dead tooth???? It's been discolored for years but old dentist never thought it was an issue... Apparently it's dead and needs a root canal. Who the fuck knows how long it's been dead. Terrifying. Also they say it's 3 cavities not 2.

Anxious about the root canal, I've never had one, and it's so expensive. The same day I have my root canal, I also am driving somewhere I've never been an hour away to see my new liver doctor, and that's also terrifying.

On top of those expenses, I'm hoping to sign kiddo up for Brazilian Jiu Jitsu lessons bc I think it'll be really good for them and they are really interested.

But I've also had several clients transition to every other week or end, which is good they're doing better. I also have less income though so need to market again for new clients. Husband was planning to increase his income by taking classes paid for by work, but the classes are taking so long that I wouldn't be surprised if it takes all year, which is not what we'd hoped for a timeline.

Pet Day at kiddo's school is coming up and last year's Pet Day, we brought our cat who ended up dying shortly after. He had cancer which obviously wasn't caused by Pet Day, but I do think he picked up a virus which might have exacerbated the cancer. I'm planning to make sure every kid sanitizes their hands before touching the cat we bring this time, and bringing the young healthy one instead of the old frail one. Still some anxiety.

Wanted to take kiddo to this snow place in FL this weekend, but tickets plus parking are 100 dollars, yikes. So been incredibly anxious about that. Just before clicking buy I checked and it's supposed to be thunderstorms that day, so texted the friend we were planning to go with and hoping we can put that off... Really anxious they might have already bought tickets even though they said they'd wait til after I bought ours (maybe they could pick up on my anxiety around committing, idk).

So the common theme, laying these all out, seems to be financial. Which is sad, because I wanted to scale back on work and be able to rest more and focus on my health, but with husband not likely to be making much more money any time soon, it means I need to work more hours. Which is hard with the amount of dr appointments I'm going to have to be having.

At least... I got a little while of getting to work out almost daily and rest up.

#personal #long post

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youngpettyqueen · 2 years ago

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procrastinating writing my WIP who wants to know about my weird filling story

so from ages 11 - 14 I had braces, I got em off right before starting high school. when I got them off and they checked for cavities, they found one in a back molar where one of the band for my braces were. this cavity was apparently so severe it was shocking I wasn't in agony, they had to check to make sure the tooth itself wasn't completely dead. anyways, got a filling done on it, but the filling was. weird

what the dentist did was he drilled away most of my tooth. and then, instead of filling it, he sort of just. covered it? so this tooth has always looked like it had a big scoop taken out of it. so fast forward a couple years, and I am suddenly feeling pain in that tooth. I have fillings much older than that one that still to this day havent done this, so its weird, but whatever. go in, get it taken out, get a temporary filling put in for a week, and then go back and get it all replaced. back to having a weird scooped-out tooth

fast forward to a couple months ago, so 8 years after this replacement incident and 10 years after the first filling. I notice it feels a bit odd in my mouth, like there's something caught, but I cant see anything so im kinda just feeling it out

and then I spit out part of the filling

I go and check and sure enough there's a big chip in it. I know its the filling, cause im not feeling any pain. I didnt know if I had insurance coverage, and im not exactly swimming in money, so I decide to leave it for a bit and go when its more feasible. surely it can wait till I get my new job and my benefits kick in, guaranteeing some coverage, right?

wrong. few weeks ago im eating and this time I hear it crack. I go check and now there's a big gap in the filling. fuck

delay it for a bit still, but last week I called the dentist and explained the situation. jump to today I go in, and this guy (new guy at the same place ive gone for years) looks at my filling and yeah, big crack, but easy fix. he fixes it up, and then he's like. kinda checking it out. before going "yeah no I dont like this, this isnt gonna stick at all, im fixing all of this" and spends another bit going in and basically buffing up this filling until he's satisfied

so now this tooth is back to looking like all my other teeth, and it feels fucking weird but im also immediately noticing great differences. for one thing, without the scoop-shape, this molar is no longer a food trap. for another, I can actually floss there now between that molar and the one behind it. there was just like, no tooth there, a little stubby bit where the scoop-looking-bit was. looking at it im shocked my gums never tried to overtake it

but yeah thats my weird filling story. id gotten used to the weirdness because I had that scooped-out tooth for a literal decade, but now im back to having a pretty normal tooth and it is WILD

#if this bitch of a molar gives me anymore trouble I swear to god #ok ive procrastinated enough back to the WIP writing

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growling · 28 days ago

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April 9th: Do you struggle with mental health? Does being autistic affect your struggle with mental health? Do you have depression or anxiety and is it influenced by being autistic?

I do have Problems mainly all my other mental disorders (NPD, ASPD, OSDD, schizophrenia, possibly AvPD & ADHD) unsure of exactly how many and to which degree are affected by me being autistic but definitely some are at least but also not getting into exact specifics. There's like plenty of overlap between symptoms of autism and schizophrenia/other schizo-spec disorders did you know what. I forgot what I was saying. Uhhhhh. Well I'm doing Bad

April 10th: Do you struggle with keeping up with physical health? Does being autistic affect it?

I shower like once a week maybe even more if I can help it, I brush my teeth like once a day and all of them are kinda yellow but like acceptable shade of yellow except I got like apparently 8+ cavities and sometimes when eating sugary things they hurt like a motherfucker, and I got like several permanent dirt stains all over my body soooo. I suppose. I'd say it's caused by the autism

April 11th: What are some things that might come easy to neurotypical people, but which you either can't do or need help to do?

showering + keeping up hygiene. I think I kiiiinda get the hang of what to do in a shower but also all the other evidence points to the fact that I Don't Really and also I always take really long cause I forget what I'm doing. Too busy spraying hot water on myself

going outside. it's been several years since the last time i ever stepped outside my apartment alone. i don't really know what to do with directions or how to really focus or react to things there, for ex. whenever im with someone i just follow behind them and look at the pavement and never around me, I'm too confused to look two ways on the street to cross quick enough, I can't take any public transportation alone or do things on my own in stores, either im too unfocused (or dissociating. i mean im kinda 90% of the day even more dissociating) or don't really know what im doing

money stuff. can't really manage finances so i never buy or ask for anything ever. numbers are confusing. don't really understand budgeting and every other payment stuff. i mean kind of i do. but also not really

understanding and "getting" complex concepts like politics, complicated/lengthy wording on certain topics etc, need simpler language for those, though it's not a guarantee that'll help

caring about things that don't directly affect me / only able to care about things that are directly affecting me, if anything doesn't really affect me then it's hard for me to even feign that I care about it in any "deeper" way or have sympathy for people that are affected. low empathy stuff. might not seem that big of a deal but other people (other autistics included) REALLY don't like this

speaking. physically able to speak and does talk through the day, but only in easier, shorter sentences or using words like "ok" or "meow", anything else is extremely difficult across all forms of communication that I have access to use, a lot of the times I'm not even interested in communicating at all. Spoke (heh) about this at length in other posts not really gonna type an entire essay about me being semiverbal here

learning new things (VERY difficult for me, sometimes even when it's a special interest, but mostly when it's something I "need" to learn but can't, ex. being math. Very slow at these things and need it explained very simply, multiple times), focusing on things that I don't like (also tied with learning things. if i don't like doing it then my brain will literally do anything but let me do it, even/especially if its something important), adapting to and handling change, processing things, comprehending many things (including media comprehension), putting on socks and shoes sucks too and I usually take wayyy longer time with those than I should, etc

#mine #30daysofautismacceptance #actually autistic

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thelemoncoffee · 2 months ago

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a small overall update on my teeth situation for y'all.

a minor tw for anyone who finds this kind of stuff gross, imma go into a little detail about my dental history

so my whole life i've had really bad sensory issues that made brushing my teeth an uphill battle, as such i never developed a routine for brushing. after i hit middle school my parents stopped getting on my ass about it, so i ended up brushing my teeth only for special ocasions, meaning i sometimes went years at a time with no brushing.

it's horribe and i know it, but i was undaignosed for most my life so i never got the help i needed to fix this. and after one traumatizing dental surgery when i was 10 and another at 14, i became very scared of dental surgery and started to dig my heels at the mere thought of going in for a quick checkup

for years now my teeth have been decaying and being consumed by cavities, in the past three years my molars have been chipping away and three of them ended up as nothing but the roots by christmas last year.

it took me getting two dental infections a month apart from from one another for my mom to finally put her foot down and tell me we're going to get this shit checked out, fearing the infection would get in my blood and potentially spread to the rest of my body, which resulted in the surgery yesterday.

for this surgery i ended up getting about five teeth pulled, three silver capped, several more cavities filled, and one tooth feels like they used the cavity filling to try and reconstruct it which has resulted in my mouth closing weird cause my teeth use to very neatly fit together when i closed my mouth and that tooth is throwing the whole thing off. they also spent time scraping/flushing out the infection. in order to get me under they had to use three differnet types of sedation, which is understandable given the way that i am

today i am experiancing minor aching in my left lower jaw from the surgery but nothing serious, and it's only in my left lower jaw which i suppose makes sense cause thats where the worse and most recent of the two infections was. i haven't eaten anything but icecream since i got home yesterday

something i learned through this tho is apparently with my dental health pre surgery- i should have been in way way way more pain than i actually ever was. i had moments where i was aching once in a blue moon, but nothing as strong or consistent as it should have been for the state of my teeth. i should have been in horrible pain constantly. my dentest and mom alike are baffled by this, mom especially so because i am usually insanely sensitive to pain, but i suppose you can't be sensitive to pain that isn't there for reasons unknown

so yeah- thats the whole oredeal and how i am right now

#kai time #dental tw #for the reccord im 22 now-

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whitepolaris · 5 months ago

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Mystery Monster or Devilish?

In November 1856, the Thibodaux Minerva ran a story about an unusual creature discovered in the warm Gulf waters near Grand Isle:

Mr. Martial Ogeron gives us the following description of a monster of the finny tribe lately killed by him off the mouth of the Lafourche, in the breakers: Length of the body from point of nose to the tail, 14 ft; length of tail, 6 ft; extreme width on the back, 20ft; thickness from top of back to bottom of belly, 7 ft; width of mouth 3 feet 6 inches, with horns on either side, 3 feet long; cavity of brain, 9 by 16 inches.

This huge monster, when killed, was lying with his mouth open catching small fish, on which it is supposed to subsist. It was shot through the head at the distance of about five paces, and immediately sunk to the bottom. It was then fastened to, and towed i to shore, where it was dissected for the purpose of being converted to oil; but a storm arising, the captor was forced to abandon the project and fly for safety. Its liver was the size of a rice cask. The exterior of this fish was covered with a skin resembling more that of an elephant than anything else to which we can compare it.

Mr. Ogeron is a seafaring man, and says he has never before a fish of this description in our waters. What kind of a fish is it, and where did it come from? Let us hear from you, naturalists!

On account of "horns on either side" in the description, some biologists suggested that the sea monster was a world-record-setting devil ray, a kind of a manta ray with hornlike fins that projected forward to help with feeding and locomotion. The Minerva's main rival, the Houma Ceres, published soon after the previous article on November 22, 1856, came to the same conclusion:

We have not a doubt but this is the veritable devil fish, so common on the shores of our southern Atlantic States, and noted for his devilish pranks with boats' anchors, etc. There is a book somewhere entitled, we believe, "Devil Fishing on the Coast of the Carolinas." If you can find it, Miss Minerva, you may be thoroughly enlightened.

But several things about the Ogeron story cast doubt on this theory. For one, devil rays are not all that rare in the Gulf of Mexico, as the Ceres editor himself points out. If Martial Ogeron was as experienced a seafaring man as the Minerva suggested, then why didn't he identify his catch as an unusually large devilfish or ray?

Also, the "monster" is described as having skin like an elephant-thick, bumpy, and wrinkly-and that doesn't agree with common descriptions of manta skin, which is typically thin, sandpapery, and streamlined. Because of this, some scientists have theorized that perhaps the mystery creature was a manatee instead, although manatees weren't completely unfamiliar animals either. Besides, a manatee that is even remotely close to twenty feet wide and seven feet thick would certainly be a sight to behold!

One other possibility is that it might have been an ocean sunfish, or Mola mola, as these do have wrinkly skin and two thick, almost rigid fins that may have been described as "horns on either side." Scientists have collected specimens more than fourteen feet wide and weighing upward to five thousand pounds-in fact, they are bony fish known, outside the fossil record. At the same time they are rare enough in Gulf waters that it is no surprise an experience fishermen like Ogeron might never have seen one. The dimensions that gave make his fish quite a bit larger than the largest Mola mola reliably documented, but with a storm coming, no way to take accurate measurements other than stepping it off on the beach, and nothing in previous experience to compare it to, it would have been easy to make errors in gauging the size of his discovery. Besides, is there a fishermen in history who didn't exaggerate (at least a little) when describing the one that "got away"-as this one apparently did when that storm came up and he had to flee?

Still, none of these theories is certain. Because nothing quite like it has ever been caught again, the first Louisiana sea monster will forever remain a mystery.

#weird louisiana #type read

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glorioustidalwavedefendor · 2 years ago

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Oh, I know this one

So, the stabbing happened after he had died on the cross

Usually dying on teh cross took a long long time

-> super miserable death

But Jesus (according to the bible) died very quickly

SO, one of the romans, stabbed him to see if he had just fainted or if he was like dead dead (because I guess taking him of the cross was to much work or something ... )

-> The falling of darkness and all that supernatural shit was clearly not good enough a sign ...

And since blood AND water (seperated) came out that proofed beyond a doupt that he was like dead dead ...

-> Not sue why, since that happening has nothing to do with the dying per se and more with the way he died ...

Normally, to breathe in, the diaphragm (the large muscle that separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity) must move down. This enlarges the chest cavity and air automatically moves into the lungs (inhalation). To exhale, the diaphragm rises up, which compresses the air in the lungs and forces the air out (exhalation). As Jesus hangs on the cross, the weight of His body pulls down on the diaphragm and the air moves into His lungs and remains there. Jesus must push up on His nailed feet (causing more pain) to exhale.

The difficulty surrounding exhalation leads to a slow form of suffocation. Carbon dioxide builds up in the blood, resulting in a high level of carbonic acid in the blood. The body responds instinctively, triggering the desire to breathe. At the same time, the heart beats faster to circulate available oxygen. The decreased oxygen (due to the difficulty in exhaling) causes damage to the tissues and the capillaries begin leaking watery fluid from the blood into the tissues. This results in a build-up of fluid around the heart (pericardial effusion) and lungs (pleural effusion). The collapsing lungs, failing heart, dehydration, and the inability to get sufficient oxygen to the tissues essentially suffocate the victim. The decreased oxygen also damages the heart itself (myocardial infarction) which leads to cardiac arrest. In severe cases of cardiac stress, the heart can even burst, a process known as cardiac rupture.

SOURCE

rapid heartbeat caused by hypovolemic shock also causes fluid to gather in the sack around the heart and around the lungs. This gathering of fluid in the membrane around the heart is called pericardial effusion, and the fluid gathering around the lungs is called pleural effusion.

SOURCE

Although ... shouldn't the blood have like congealed if he was dead????

Like ... I feel like the scoence of stabbing someone to figure out if he is dead is very wonky at best ...

But like it's a whole ass thing and it is depicted in christian art ...

-> Like you can see above in the picture that there is red and white coming out of the jesus keg -> blood AND water

Said blood and water (according to ... the bible? and christian lore) was then caught in a chalice aka THE hold grail ... like the blood made it holy, ... before it was just liek a normal chalice ...

-> the angel keging him is holding THE HOLY GRAIL to cathc the water and blood

And now that grail is imbued with like super hyper magical mystical godly power via touching jesus blood ...

-> That's why that scene is so important and therefor frequentyl depicted ... the middle ages where opsessed with the holy grail ... and so was the 19th century ...

And apparently so where the nazis ...

Beginning in 1933, German writer Otto Rahn published a series of books tying the Grail, Templars, and Cathars to modern German nationalist mythology. According to Rahn, the Grail was a symbol of a pure Germanic religion repressed by Christianity. Rahn's books inspired interest in the Grail within the Nazi occultist circles and led to the SS chief Heinrich Himmler's abortive sponsorship of Rahn's search for the Grail, as well as many subsequent conspiracy theories and fictional works about the Nazis searching for the Grail.[53]

SOURCE

Although ... I have to say that water is not the most intersting thing that ever came out of a jesus ... XD

Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.

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goat-yells-at-everything · 1 year ago

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Op Update

So, all weekend I've had bad dreams that the new doc would refuse to do the procedure. Going into the meeting I was already anxious and reserved.

Guy walks in. Hes maybe a bit older than me but not much. He puts me off almost immediately cuse he reminds me of my brother. He starts talking and he has this hawty and arrogant air about him like he knows literally everything about everything.

He asks me whats going on and why I think I need this procedure. I reply that my normal doc and I think I have endo because I have all the hallmarks of it. "But you've never been diagnosed with it, correct?" "...no... thats what THIS procedure was kind of for...???" Because you literally CAN NOT diagnose endo without a laparoscopic procedure.

So he goes on to say how all my ultrasounds had been normal and started to talk about digestive angles to my pain. This is blatantly NOT true. The LAST scan was relatively normal but I have been diagnosed with PCOS and had cysts on previous scans. The last scan was relatively normal because they DID find a fibroid on the back of my uterus.

BUT I was civil and advised that I've had this pain for over 20 years (since I was 11-12 and I'm now turning 37) and we had already explored the digestive/gastric angle to it all. I said I'd had several upper GI scopes but before I could go on he interrupts and asks if I've had a colonoscopy. It just felt like he was trying to find any reason not to do the procedure my doctor had already agreed I needed.

So he finally says they'll set a date. I then mention the spot on my liver that we think is likely an endo deposit and he looks at me like I'm an idiot and said "but your records say your pain is on the left". Well, yes, it is on the left. The deposit is on the left side of the liver. "But the liver is in the right upper quad??" It also spans into the left upper quad. "No... no it does not. Who told you that????" ...

For reference. Here is the general anatomy of the human torso and upper abdomen [X] (its not graphic but some people may not want to see it anyway). As you can see, the liver IS mostly in the RUQ. However, it does span past the mid line and a small portion spans into the LUQ. That is where the spot is on my liver. That is where my pain has been.

Also, for reference, I LITERALLY just finished my coding class. Which included a metric FUCK TON of anatomy and terminology.

I'm not a fucking idiot.

But I think this dude may be.

So he just seems to roll his eyes at me but agrees to look. Said he didn't think he'd be able to do much as the liver bleeds heavily but day of I'm going to stress that there isn't a big point to this procedure if they dont do anything about that spot if it IS endo. I get the risks. My doc said she'd consult the on call general surgeon to help if she needed to and I'm going to insist this guy does the same.

Then, for some reason, he decides to bring up my weight. Now, again, my doc and I have been discussing this procedure for almost 6 fucking months. If my weight had been an issue she would have said something back then so I had TIME to try and do something about it. He goes on a mini tangent about how my weight may make it hard for them to inflate my abdominal cavity. He suggests it may be prudent to wait and loose weight before the procedure. Had the gall to imply it would make my symptoms better and may not need the procedure.

AGAIN

20+ years with this pain.

Where my weight has fluctuated up and down and there was no change in the pain I had.

But. Yaknow. I'm a fat idiot apparently.

But its scheduled. A week from tomorrow. Because of course it couldn't be sooner. But at least its only a short delay. It shouldn't have a huge impact on my leave. I hope anyway.

And now, weather permitting, I should be able to get pinned finally and officially "graduate" from the classroom portion of my course today.

#goat surgery 2024

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pearldentalpc1 · 1 year ago

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Brilliant Smiles Await: Your Guide to Teeth Whitening Near Me

Introduction:

A brilliant, radiant smile is not only a symbol of confidence but also a key factor in making positive first impressions. In the quest for a brighter and whiter smile, individuals often turn to teeth whitening procedures. "Brilliant Smiles Await: Your Guide to Teeth Whitening Near Me" serves as a comprehensive guide, exploring the various aspects of teeth whitening, from the available methods and considerations to the benefits and potential risks. As we embark on this journey, the goal is to empower individuals with the knowledge needed to make informed decisions about enhancing the brilliance of their smiles.

Understanding Teeth Whitening:

Teeth whitening is a cosmetic dental procedure designed to lighten the color of teeth and remove stains and discoloration. It is a non-invasive treatment that can significantly improve the appearance of teeth, providing individuals with a brighter and more youthful smile. The process involves the use of bleaching agents that penetrate the enamel and break down stains, resulting in a whiter and brighter appearance.

Methods of Teeth Whitening:

In-Office Professional Whitening: In-office teeth whitening is a popular and efficient option for those seeking immediate results. It involves the application of a high-concentration bleaching gel by a trained dental professional. Specialized light or laser may be used to enhance the effects of the whitening agent. This method typically takes about one to two hours, making it a convenient choice for individuals with busy schedules.

Take-Home Whitening Kits: Take-home whitening kits, provided by dental professionals, allow individuals to whiten their teeth in the comfort of their homes. These kits include custom-fitted trays and a lower-concentration bleaching gel. While the results may take longer to become apparent compared to in-office procedures, take-home kits offer flexibility and the convenience of gradual teeth whitening.

Over-the-Counter Whitening Products: Over-the-counter (OTC) teeth whitening products, such as whitening toothpaste, strips, and gels, are readily available at pharmacies and supermarkets. These products typically have lower concentrations of bleaching agents. While OTC options are more budget-friendly, their effectiveness may vary, and it is essential to follow instructions carefully to avoid potential side effects.

Considerations Before Teeth Whitening:

Before embarking on a teeth whitening journey, several considerations should be taken into account:

Dental Health Assessment: Prioritize a dental health assessment to identify any underlying issues that may affect the whitening process. Cavities, gum disease, or other dental problems should be addressed before proceeding with teeth whitening.

Professional Consultation: Consulting with a dental professional is crucial to determine the most suitable whitening method based on individual needs and expectations. A dentist can assess the current shade of teeth, discuss potential results, and recommend the most effective approach.

Expectations and Realistic Goals: Setting realistic expectations is essential. While teeth whitening can significantly improve the color of teeth, it may not achieve a Hollywood-perfect white for everyone. Understanding the potential results and limitations helps individuals avoid disappointment.

Benefits of Teeth Whitening:

Enhanced Aesthetics: The primary benefit of teeth whitening is the enhancement of dental aesthetics. Whiter teeth contribute to a more attractive and youthful smile, boosting confidence and self-esteem.

Improved First Impressions: A bright smile is often one of the first things people notice. Teeth whitening can leave a positive impression, whether in personal interactions, social events, or professional settings.

Non-Invasive and Quick: Teeth whitening is a non-invasive procedure that provides relatively quick results. In-office procedures, in particular, offer immediate gratification for individuals seeking a rapid transformation.

Potential Risks and Considerations:

While teeth whitening is generally considered safe, there are potential risks and considerations to keep in mind:

Tooth Sensitivity: Some individuals may experience temporary tooth sensitivity or gum irritation following teeth whitening. This is usually mild and resolves on its own.

Overuse and Misuse: Overusing whitening products or not following instructions can lead to negative consequences, including enamel damage and increased tooth sensitivity. It is crucial to adhere to recommended usage guidelines.

Pre-existing Dental Conditions: Individuals with pre-existing dental conditions, such as cavities or receding gums, should address these issues before undergoing teeth whitening to avoid potential complications.

Conclusion:

"Brilliant Smiles Await: Your Guide to Teeth Whitening Near Me" is a journey toward achieving a brighter and more confident smile. With an understanding of the various teeth whitening methods, considerations before undergoing the procedure, and potential risks, individuals can make informed decisions about enhancing the brilliance of their smiles. Whether opting for in-office professional whitening, take-home kits, or over-the-counter products, the pursuit of a radiant smile is a personal choice that can significantly impact one's overall appearance and self-assurance. As we navigate this guide, the goal is to empower individuals to take charge of their oral aesthetics, embracing the transformative power of teeth whitening for a brilliant and confident smile.

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servin-up-surveys · 2 years ago

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survey #174

The last time you ate leftovers, what was it that you were eating? Uhhhh maybe pizza?

What is your favorite board that you've made on Pinterest? there's zero fucking way i have a board that's just pictures of 50-60-y/o band members hell no no way

Do you get on Facebook or Instagram more? I CHECK Insta more, but I'm scrolling Facebook longer.

What was the last thing you ate or drank that was blue raspberry-flavored? Mountain Dew Voltage, but it's actually been quite a while since I had that one specifically, they're apparently really rare now and people are selling them for a fortune lol

What is one annoying thing your computer does? I hate when it randomly restarts over some error. It doesn't happen often, it's just annoying when it does.

What was the last song you listened to? "Black Wedding" by In This Moment & Rob Halford.

Have you discovered any new hobbies in the past couple months? No. It's seldom I discover new hobbies, honestly...

What's the wildest animal you've ever come in contact with? Well, define "contact;" I can read this as the wildest animal I've physically touched or just seen, and "wildest" can be taken in more than one way. The most surprising animal I've physically touched was a tarantula I guess, but the animal I've been most surprised to see in the wild was a mink, I think, and I didn't even get a good look at it. I'm not including zoo animals in this.

Do you trust your doctor? I trust my primary care physician, even though him being a man makes me slightly uncomfortable; he's a good doctor though that I've been with a good while so it's fine. I don't really have a relationship with my psychiatrist or worst of all therapist, honestly... Both my mom and I really hate the place I have to go to for insurance reasons, but I need SOMEbody in this department so we have no choice.

Do you ever question if your mother loves you? Absofuckinglutely not, I know she loves me with her whole heart and I consider myself unbelievably lucky to have that going for me.

Do you ever feel scared or unsafe around your dad? Not... really anymore, but at the same time, due to past experiences but also horrific nightmares about him, I can sometimes be uneasy if I'm with him and just him, even though I do know in my core he's no threat to me, got a pretty good feeling he'd protect me with his life. Maybe.

What is your favorite type of Lunchables? Absolutely nothing beats the nachos one.

Do you have someone you feel completely safe around? My mom and Girt.

What church do you go to? I don't attend church.

Are any of your siblings' friends like family to you? Basically yeah, in Allison's case. She's my younger sister's best friend/former housemate, and she's involved in some family events, like Ashley's kids' bdays. She was Ryder's very first crush lol, it's still a joke in the family how in love with her he's always been.

Do you have any friends who you exchange memes with? Lol Girt and I do this ALL the time, this is daily shit. Occasionally I will with Tez and Mazzy.

What was the last photo you took? It was Cookie all curled up looking cute as shit on Girt, she loves him. I could tell she was so ready for bed, lol.

Are you in any Discord servers? How often do you use them? I'm a member of literally one, the WoW Secret Finding Discord, but I haven't even clicked on its tab for like, years. I'm just in it if I ever feel like rare mount hunting with help.

Have you ever had to see an emergency vet after hours? Hmmm, I don't THINK so.

When was the last time you sat under a blanket on a couch? A few days ago with Girt.

Can you bite into ice cream or are your teeth too sensitive? I can now that I've had that one wisdom tooth with a really severe cavity taken out. It made nearby teeth agonizingly sensitive; the wisdom tooth itself didn't hurt, but apparently cavities that severe can radiate pain into other teeth, and holy fucking shit did it.

Do you like snowy winter days or do you prefer rainy days? I like snow much more! We don't get it all that much here, we often have a year without any, so I really enjoy it when it happens.

Do you know anyone who doesn't have a middle name? My boyfriend, but I'm pretty sure it's because he's a junior. His sister has a middle name, so.

What was the last thing you complained about? Probably cravings, it's that time of the month and I get really annoyed when my body desperately wants shit it doesn't need.

What celebrity irritates you the most? Elon Musk is up there, he's such a fucking arrogant asshole. I don't think there's one celebrity in specific that I REALLY hate though, the ones that annoy me in general are billionaires that do nothing beneficial for the world and instead hoard wealth. Actually wait, Donald Trump is 200% the top celebrity that I despise, like I would literally have given my life for this shithead to never have been in a position of influence. I like to forget he exists & kinda just did lmfao.

Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through? On my 16th birthday, yes; I was at Jason's place, and his dad was a ginormous Giants fan, so I sat out in the living room with the family. I had zero interest in it and was definitely bored, but I was just happy to be involved with my then-boyfriend's family.

Would you like to know the exact date of your death? Absolutely not.

What's on your to-do list for today? Nothing, really. I'm incredibly tired.

Do you know anyone who's been bitten by a snake? I might, idk.

Are you excited for Halloween? I always am, haha. Even if I don't really do anything anymore, I enjoy the vibe. I'd like to maybe do something with Girt this year though, like maybe a haunted hayride or something.

What makes you smile or laugh no matter what? My boyfriend for sure, it really doesn't matter what mood I'm in, he can get both out of me like it's nothing.

Do you prefer strawberries or cherries? Strawberries by far, they're my favorite fruit, meanwhile I despise cherries.

Biggest insecurity? My weight.

Have you ever had braces? Yes, I did for a longer time than I should've because we couldn't afford to get them off so some teeth on my bottom row overcorrected a tiny bit.

Do you feel awkward using public transportation? I certainly would if I actually took it; I don't take taxis, buses, trains, etc.; the only experience I've had with public transportation were plane rides, and I do in fact feel very uncomfortable walking down the aisle to get to my seat. Well I actually did take an Uber for the first time ever with my mom recently, but that's one, single, very brief experience in all of 27 years.

Describe your mom with one word. Selfless. To a fault.

Would you rather bake a cake or cookies? Cookies seem a lot easier.

What curse word do you use most? Almost certainly "fuck" of some form.

Were you always one of those kids who got in trouble with everyone around? No, I very rarely caused trouble as a kid.

When was the last time you took a nap? Did it relax you any? Today actually, and yes. I initially woke up too early.

Honestly, do you see yourself as a slut? Not at all; I am extremely selective with who I'm even remotely sexual with, but I also don't slutshame. Consenting adults can do whatever the hell they want with other consenting adults that are informed about any issues you may carry. I also aggressively encourage you be upfront about your goals relationship-wise; don't want something serious? Say it immediately. Not into only sole partnerships? Say it, immediately. You get it. Be honest and real about what you want.

Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Yeah.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever been through? The traumatic breakup of my first real relationship.

Do you like fast food or does it disgust you? Dude I'ma be real, fast food is some of my favorite stuff lol, I know that's an extremely unpopular opinion, but whatever. I still certainly avoid it though just for health reasons; I'd say we get someone out maybe just once a week.

Who was the last person you kissed? Girt.

What’s your favourite alcoholic drink? Sangrias.

Do you like the smell of BBQs? I actually really do, even though I dislike the food at most barbeques. Hamburgers and hotdogs are fine, but barbeque chicken, pulled pork, and stuff like that is where I'm out. Southern barbeques ain't for me.

Do you crash on people’s sofas often? Uh no, I've never done that.

Do wasps scare you? Yes, I really don't like how aggressive they are, and that stinger is too long okay.

Have you ever worn flip flops in the snow? lol sure have, but never in even remotely heavy snow. It was only ever to like, leave the house and get in the car though; I wouldn't wear flipflops for an extended period in snow.

Has anyone ever told you that you & your significant other could be siblings? Have they ever assumed you were siblings? Not my current one, no; we look pretty different. It was a joke with my mom that Sara and I were basically twins when we dated, but I don't think anyone ever actually thought we were.

Have you ever heard people having sex in the next room? Pretty positive yes. It was in the apartment when just me, Jacob, and Amanda were home, Jason was probably at work I guess, and from the living room couch I heard Things happening behind me lol

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? No, I absolutely fucking despise them and their whole premise.

Have you ever lost your voice? Yeah, most recently when I had Covid some time last year. My voice was gone for quite a long time.

Museum date or aquarium date? Aquarium.

Did you ever have an emo or scene phase? Haha you know it.

Name a subject you know a lot about. I probably know most about meerkats, or Silent Hill stuff.

Most embarrassing poster you’ve ever owned? I don't think I've had one I'd be embarrassed by.

Could you see yourself having a child with the last person you kissed? Yeah I could, but it's not something we want to do in the foreseeable future.

Who is your favorite person to have random conversations with? Girt, I love learning new stuff about him.

Who was the last person to make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable? My mom, literally like an hour ago. She said something not realizing the topic is one I'm self-conscious about. I was really upset over it for a few minutes.

What are you known for? Most likely as the lazy deadbeat kid.

Which of the guys you’ve been interested in hurt you the most? Idk if I've mentioned a "Jason" before in these????????????

Do you know anyone who is engaged? Yes, my high school friend Kelly recently got engaged to her long-time boyfriend, and I'm stoked for her. She's been so in love with this guy and she deserves the world.

What is your relationship status on Facebook? In a relationship with Girt, but pending after nearly two years lmao. It's not something he hides or anything, he just barely touches Facebook and by now the notification would be buried under like, hundreds of others, because at some point he ticked some setting that notified him when I merely post anything, and with how much shit I share, he's never finding it lol. I would only be bothered by this if it wasn't for the fact his behavior fully shows we're together, and how he acts toward me doesn't change in front of others.

What are you listening to? I'm watching/listening to WoolieVS' LP of Dark Souls.

What was the last thing you looked up on Google? What a mudslide drink is, actually for that earlier question. I had something like that at Sara's place years ago and it was fuckin magical lol, but I never asked what exactly it was, but that one seems the most likely.

Ever been kissed on the leg? Uh maybe? I can't remember a specific occasion though.

Last person to hear you cry? Either Mom or Girt probably, idk.

What do you think of the term plus-sized in modeling? Is it empowering or demeaning? It's demeaning as fuck; modeling is modeling. By adding the descriptor of "plus-sized," you're indebatably making it sound like the person isn't a real, ideal model.

Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? Absolutely not entirely on my own, no. By now I really want to live with Girt, but without a source of income, I'd be very uncomfortable relying on him, even though he's told me he doesn't care. I care. I already fucking hate relying on the person that gave birth to me.

Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No, not that I know of.

Are you friends with someone who’s autistic? My niece is, and I'm fucking finally getting evaluated for it myself at the end of this month. I, along with my mother and others that have watched me grow up, are very confident I have high-functioning Asperger's.

Have you ever had a Bic Mac? No, I'm not into lettuce on burgers, so it's a no by default.

Have you ever been to a convention? (comic, YouTube, etc.) I went to a reptile one/NARBC with Sara once, and I loved it, even though I struggled quite badly with my legs. I'd love love love to go to another, once my legs are a little bit better!

What is the biggest difference between you and your best friend? I'm way more emotional, while Girt is a very practical person. He has emotions, I've seen them, but he's much more in control of them than I am.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions #questionnaire

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