#apologies to the three most recent mutuals in my notifs

[artianaiolanthe]

Tagged by @retiredficwriter

Rules: Make a poll with five of your all-time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite!

This one is gonna be hard ^^;;

"Is it the Characters or the version of them that live in your head" Yes next question

Runners up that I scrapped for the sake of 5 total include Cheryl Mason, Hazel Levesque, Festivia Butterfly, and Priya Sravasti. If I had one more I could just post this twice lol

Tagging @bitegore @ziracona @tandoori-frost aaaand. Idk whoever else would like to, only if you want

[loveharlow]

SEVEN - FAIRYTALE

CHAPTER SYNOPSIS; [4.5k] JJ and Y/N are finally showing some sort of regret for their actions and it's only a matter of time before this whole spat of their comes to an end, not without proper apologies of course.

CHAPTER WARNING(S); swearing, mutual pining, mild angst, avoidance, the reader has an older sister because I said so and wanted to up the word count, FLUFF (it's been so long since y'all saw this word, I know I know)

A/N; ONE MORE CHAPTER!! Also, Ik the whole sister thing came out of nowhere but I feel like we needed an outside perspective other than the pogues and the sibling trope is just *chef's kiss*, so...

*If you have your settings on dark mode, the text may appear black for you. i don't know why and I have tried to fix this. Sorry.

series masterlist

“MORNIN’ POOL PRINCESS.” John B croaked as I entered the kitchen where he and Kie were perched at the counter. Giving him a heads up as a greeting as I rubbed the sleep out of my left eye. I sat myself next to Kiara and she nudged my shoulder in acknowledgement.

Once my eyes didn’t feel as stiff or dry, I blinked them open as a yawn escaped my throat. “Are we still on for today?” I asked tiredly, resting my chin in the palms of my hands while my elbows rested on the marble countertop. 

“Actually, no.”

Directing my gaze to the messy-haired brunette boy sipping on a mug of coffee, my eyebrows brought themselves together in confusion. “I thought-”

“Apparently, Sarah forgot to buy the tickets.” John B interrupted, seemingly annoyed at his girlfriend's lack of proper planning skills. 

“And we can’t buy the tickets now because they’re sold out, so.” Kie added, scrolling through her messages on her phone. 

“We’re just gonna go to the beach later today.” John B proclaimed. “There’s one not too far from here but we heard it’s way too crowded during the day.” 

I nodded in agreement as the three of us fell into a somewhat comfortable silence — Kie paying little mind as she texted who I presumed to be Mariana from the black hair in the contact picture. Yes, I’m being nosey. Cope. Then there was John B who looked to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed but was trying his best not to show it. I was starting to wonder if it had anything to do with what Sarah mentioned the other day, about them being in a tough place recently.

After a few moments passed, I lifted myself from the bar stool and trotted over to the fridge, grabbing the half-full carton of orange juice and pouring myself a glass. “I think I’m gonna head back into the room. See you.” I muttered before dragging my limp and tired frame back into my shared room with JJ.

Entering the room, I immediately noted the empty bed — lopsided pillows and covers thrown to the side. 

“Oh,” I heard to my left, whipping my head to a certain blonde staring at me — phone in hand as he looked up. “There you are.”

I gave a slight ‘hm’ in response and rounded the bed to my side, picking up my phone from the nightstand and looking through my notifications. “Yeah, I was talking to JB and Kie. We’re supposed to go to the beach later.”

Now it was his turn to give a small ‘hm’ in response.

The tension between us was still clear as day but not as thick anymore. There was no more burning anger or crippling confusion, at least from my perspective anyway. It was just…odd.

I made no moves to look up at him and continued catching up on what I had missed over night — random twitter posts, group text messages, story mentions.

“Can we talk?” And there it is.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I said there was no more burning anger, I’m still upset. I just no longer want to sock him in the balls.

Side-eyeing him, I shrugged. “We just did.” He let out a long, defeated sigh — a tell-tale sign he was about to say something. Something I most likely did not want to hear. So, before he could speak, I did. “I’m gonna call Adele.” I said shortly, plopping down on the mattress with my back to him.

Adele is my sister, older by 4 years. She's always one of the first people I turn to and she knew all about my situation with JJ, more than Kiara, save for a few minor major and recent details.

“I’ll, uh, give you some space then.” He muttered before the sound of the bedroom door was heard opening then closing shut, my deep breath leaving my chest. I’d talk to JJ eventually but I needed to sort my words out and clear my head first. We both clearly saw where speaking from the top of our heads has gotten us thus far.

Clicking on her contact, the phone rang before I heard a voice on the other line. 

“Hey! How’s the trip-”

“I need your help on something.”

“SHE HATES ME.” JJ whined, throwing himself onto the mattress of Pope and Kie’s shared bed. Pope had just left the shower, throwing a hoodie over his head as he examined himself in the mirror. The bathroom door was wide-open, allowing the two boys to communicate freely in separate parts of the bedroom.

“She does not. You’re just dramatic, and get your nasty ass feet off the pillows.” Pope reprimanded.

JJ groaned and sat up properly on the mattress, a childish pout plastered on his face. “What am I going to do? She won’t talk to me, Pope. She’s probably venting to Adele about me as we speak, which would suck because Adele would kick my ass-”

“I won’t deny that.”

JJ and Adele had an almost brother-sister bond because of how long JJ and I had been friends. They annoy each other and tease one another but it’s all love at the end of the day. However, during their teasing and play fighting, JJ discovered Adele held a considerable amount of strength and refuses to get on her bad side to this day.

“For one,” Pope continued on. “Y/N could never hate you.” He assured as he exited the bathroom, sitting himself next to JJ on the bed, facing him. 

“I don’t know man. This is different.” The blonde boy sighed. Pope proceeded to pull JJ's legs onto his own lap, patting his calf before speaking,

“Okay, well I am now your therapist for the day. Talk to me.”

JJ sighed as he adjusted the cap on his head, moving his hands to rub on the thighs of shorts nervously. “Okay, uhh, how do I start-”

“From the beginning. From whatever happened between you two that started this whole mess.”

“Alright, okay. Uh, it was that kegger about a year ago.” He began, easily recalling the chaos filled night. "We were drunk and I was coming onto her and she wasn’t pushing me away, she was into it. Things sort of went from there I guess?”

“Went from there?”

“I don’t know, man. We made out for a couple hours, felt up on each other-”

“Hours?”

“Pope. You’re supposed to be listening, man.”

“Right. Sorry.” The boy held his hands up in mock surrender, a silent signal for the blonde to continue his story.

“Anyway,” JJ dismissed. “We had agreed that it was a one time thing, that it wouldn’t happen again because we thought it was best for the group. But, I don’t know, I just couldn’t do it. Stay away from her, I mean. I tried Pope, I really did. But that girl just does something to me.” He admitted, vulnerability shining through his features. “We let it go too far one time. Just one time-”

“Woah, woah,” Pope interrupted, eyes going wide in what he might hear as a response. “What do you mean exactly when you say you let it ‘go too far’?”

…

“JJ…”

The blonde averted his eyes and scratched the top of his baseball cap. “It was only once. I swear.”

“JJ.” Pope turned to fully face his long time friend. “Did you and Y/N sleep together?” The blonde slowly nodded his head and Pope threw his back with a disappointed groan. “Well, this whole thing makes a whole lot more sense now! Dude! What the hell? When?”

“A couple months back, around 6 months ago maybe? We didn’t mean for it to happen. That’s not to say I regret it.”

“Well, I can’t tell you much, JJ.” The boy admitted solemnly. “What I can tell you is that no matter how strongly she feels about you, no matter how much she loves you — in a romantic way or not, she’s not gonna wait around forever. We both know that Y/N is caring and patient but every one has their breaking point. If she feels like you’re taking her kindness for a weakness, she won’t hesitate to leave. You know that. And she seems to have given you more chances than I expect she would if it were anyone else.”

JJ nodded shamefully in agreement, biting the inside of his cheek in contemplation.

“So, I’ll give you this-” Pope started up once again. “An ultimatum — either you tell her how you feel by the end of today-” He paused to raise his phone in the hand that remained mainly out of sight during their conversation, revealing the device unlocked and recording. “-Or I’ll just let her listen to our entire conversation.”

JJ's eyes went wide, his frame shooting up in the bed in a swift and desperate attempt to get the phone — only for Pope to draw his arm back out of reach and quickly stand from the bed.

“Pope-”

“Make a choice, JJ.” He taunted, ending the recording but still edging away from the frantic blonde who was now up and on his feet, closing the space between the two.

“Pope, c’mon man.”

“Time’s ticking…”

“Okay! Okay, I’ll do it just fucking delete it!” JJ exclaimed, now standing inches away from Pope after his last futile attempt to gain control over the situation.

“I will once you tell her!” Pope proclaimed, pocketing his phone in his shorts. Crossing his arms over his chest and looking his friend in the eyes, Pope raised his eyebrows. “Better get to writing, my friend. You have a love confession to make.” He teased.

“GUYS! SUN’S SETTING!” Sarah’s voice bellowed through the house. I had just finished tying  the strings on my bikini top, still letting my sister’s words ring around in my head. 

“Life goes on. Either you keep trying or let him go, but it’s up to you.”

Talking to her really did help to weigh my options, observe my situation. We aren’t in highschool anymore. We’re adults and it’s time we acted like it. Whatever happened to JJ and I in the long run, I’d just have to accept it.

So, grabbing my beach tote and slinging it over my shoulder, adjusting the sunglasses atop my head — I left the room to join the others out in the foyer. 

“Always the last one down.” John B teased.

“Always loud and wrong.” I shot back playfully, reaching the bottom of the stairs and plucking the backwards baseball cap on top of his head. 

“Alright,” Sarah began. “The beach is about 45 minutes away. You guys wanna stop to get food or no?”

Everyone agreed that we would and we headed out of the house to pile into the car. 

About halfway there, we stopped at a drive-thru to eat something quick and continued on to the beach, the boys covering their ears as us girls sang at the top of our lungs to the radio with the sole purpose to annoy them.

“UGH THIS IS MAKING ME HOMESICK. I MISS OUR BEACHES BACK HOME.” Sarah groaned as she walked at the forefront of the group, our feet digging into the warm, damp sand as we made our way closer to the shore.

“Is this a good spot to set up the chairs?” John B asked, to which we all nodded and unfolded the lawn chairs we brought with us, digging the legs of them into the sand.

The beach was dark and calm, with only two other groups of people, that we could see anyway. Sitting down, John B cracked open the beers and passed them around the group and things pretty much took off from there.

Cracked a few jokes, shared some laughs, now we were playing never have I ever. 

“Okay, Okay,” Kie spoke through laughs. “Never Have I Ever… kissed more than one person in twenty-four hours.” 

“Okay, that’s not even fair!” John B defended as the group broke out into laughter. “It was 9th grade…”

“They were twins!” Kiara croaked out through her hearty laughs, a hand placed on her stomach as she practically fell out, making us all laugh harder.

In the midst of our carelessness, none of us had noticed one of the girls from the other group on the beach had made her way over, tapping JJ on the shoulder as she approached behind his chair.

“Hey…” She said flirtatiously, shifting her weight and twirling a strand of her brunette hair. She looked about our age — her slim frame adorned in a bikini that barely covered much, sand stuck to her thighs and her hair damp from the water. Our group fell into a stunned, awkward silence due to the intrusion. “You from around here?”

“Uh, no. I’m not.” He answered hesitantly, whipping his head from her to us — to me? We all cut our staring and fell back into chatter, meaningless as we tried to talk while also eavesdropping. 

It couldn't have been more than two minutes before the girl was walking back to her respective group, where her friends were watching and giggling as she made her way back. JJ turned back around in his chair, his cheeks blown as if he was holding back a laugh.

“She’s gonna call someone but it’s not gonna be me. I pray she isn’t bold enough to send a nude as a first text or something.”

“You gave her the wrong number?” John B added, his expression one of surprise. JJ nodded and leaned back in his chair, sipping on the nearly empty beer in his hand. “JJ? Turning down women? Guys, I think hell has finally frozen over.”

“Ha, ha.” He retorted. “I’ve actually been chilling for a little while, if you haven't noticed.” He glared at his friends. “And she’s not my type.” He said flatly, staring directly at me with no indication that he was trying to hide it.

I felt my cheeks grow hot and I was not going to let him know that he was getting to me, not after everything that happened in the last few days. What is up with him anyway? So, sitting my beer on the ground, I got up from my chair and shimmied out of my shorts to reveal my bikini bottom.

“I’m gonna go for a swim.” I announced, getting hums of acknowledgement before heading off on my own. Reaching the edge of the water, the waves hit my toes before receding back. The water was cool, not too cold. It prompted me to go further, just until the water hit right under my chest.

My thoughts were running a muck in my mind, clouding my brain with every thought I’d set aside. I took two handfuls of the cool, salt water and splashed it on my face. Surprisingly, it helped. 

My nerves jumped for a second when I felt two cold hands on my shoulders, whipping around with a yelp to face Kiara who was holding back a laugh with her hands up in surrender. “Kie! What the hell?”

“Relax.” She drawled. “I was just coming over to see how you were doing.” I crossed my arms over my chest to rub my forearms which were growing slightly cold due to the water that got splashed on them and Kie ran her hands through the water waiting on me to speak.

“I’m doing better, I guess.” 

“Anything new about you and JJ?”

“There is no ‘me and JJ'. So, no. Nothing new.”

The brunette girl scoffed and looked off to the side. “Jeez, y’know I miss when you would look at that boy like he hung the stars in the sky himself. Now, everything is so…negative.”

I shrugged and drew my lips into a thin line, pushing my eyebrows up for a quick second. “Yeah well, shit happens. Things change.”

“Things like what? C’mon, don’t leave me out of the loop. I was the first groupie.” She pleaded like a begging puppy. I groaned, but ultimately decided to confide in her. She practically knew everything anyway.

“We got into a small argument last night and I talked to Adele about it earlier and I’ve just been going over what she said.”

“Well, what did she say?”

“That I have to make a choice, basically. A whole bunch of shit about entering the adult world and learning to make hard decisions, for better or for worse.”

“Your sister’s always right, somehow.” Kie stated, me nodding in agreement. 

“I just-”

“Mind if I steal her for a moment?” A raspy voice spoke from behind Kie, her turning and me peering over her shoulder to find the topic of conversation standing nervously. 

Before I could respond myself, Kiara was speaking for me. “Yeah, go ahead.” She said, turning back to me and wiggling her fingers as I glared at her before she headed towards the shore. I turned my back to face JJ, staring at the moon that I didn’t even know had risen.

“Can you look at me?” He sounds so desperate that I couldn’t help but turn around to meet his eyes. He couldn’t be more than a ruler’s length away from me, the moonlight illuminating on his hair, making his blonde strands shine even more than they normally do.

I had a feeling that the pogues were watching from the beach but I knew they couldn’t hear a thing. 

“So…you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yeah, I uh,” JJ stuttered, playing with the water around him and taking a deep breath. “I wanted to apologize.” My demeanor fell, my hard expression faltering. “Actually apologize. For everything. Everything I said and did. And everything I didn’t say and didn’t do.”

“JJ…”

“Just let me do this. Please?” He pleaded, hands opened and eyes wide. I sighed and nodded for him to go on. He brought his hands in front of him, wringing them together as a nervous tick. “The first night when we kissed, I was happy. Happy because I liked you for so long but I didn’t think you felt the same way and that night showed me something different. It showed me that there was a chance. But it was like when morning came, all of the guilt came with it. I thought about how what happened would have destroyed our friendship and caused problems within the group so that’s why I made that deal — that it was a one-time thing.”

He looked up to stop the tears falling that were brimming in his waterline.

“But I knew from that moment that it was a lie. I could try and try to get myself away from you but it would never work. But I didn’t want to put that on you. The same guilt that I had settled myself with, I didn’t want that for you. So, I tried. But anytime either of us got too close to one another it was game over, really. And the one time that we…” He lowered his gaze directly in line with mine, a silent agreement that we both knew the night he was referring to.

“Look, I know you don’t want to hear a timeline of events that you’ve lived through so I’ll just get on with it.” He urged himself. “When you started to ask questions, about what we were and what was going on, I never had an answer for you. Because I knew what I wanted but I wasn’t sure if I was what you needed. I would get caught up in my own thoughts and reservations that I would scare myself out of giving you the answer you wanted. It was always on the tip of my tongue, just like it is now.”

He waded closer, barely any space between us now as his voice lowered to just above a whisper. 

“I love you. Possibly more than I love anyone else I’ve ever known. And I’ve been an asshole, I know that. I put you through hell because of my own insecurities and I won’t blame you if you can’t forgive me. But you needed to know that. You need to know that I love you and I have for quite a while now and I’m ready to say it, to own it. And I’m prepared for however you react because I know that I waited too long to do this.”

By this point, hot tears had gathered in my own eyes. JJ and I were close so I had seen him at what I had presumed was his worst. But I was wrong. This, this, was his lowest point. He was vulnerable and open and honest — all the things he hated to be in the public eye and even in front of the people we call friends and family. So, I knew that everything he had said came from a place he buried deep within himself.

I’d be lying to myself if I sat here and said that these last 2 days hadn’t been hell. Not because JJ put me through it, but because it felt like we were drifting apart. JJ had been my rock for years — my shoulder to cry on without judgment. Even with our ups and downs, he would always be there. Thinking about what Adele said earlier, about making decisions and being an adult.

This was the time for that. I won’t ignore what we’ve been through recently but he was right — we needed to own up to it.

“It’s not all on you,” I started, reaching out to put one of my hands over both of his. “I was stupid.” His face fell and I could tell he was going to try and reassure me but I looked at him and shook my head, a signal to let me finish. “I was and I cannot put that on you and I won’t let you take all the blame for what’s happened. I won’t let you do that to yourself.”

I pursed my lips together before speaking again. “When things started, at the kegger, I was relieved. Because I had gone back and forth about my feelings for you for years. And I thought that you had realized you felt something for me too. So yeah, the morning after that night crushed me a little bit. It knocked down almost every single piece of hope I gained. And every time you came back, that hope would keep building and get knocked again. And at some point, I realized what I was doing to myself. I was hurting myself by loving you. That’s why I started to ask questions. Because I needed to know. To know if it was worth it.”

My hands traveled up his arms to link together behind his neck. “And I won’t lie to you. I was starting to think that it wasn’t. I started to think that you’re JJ and you ‘don’t do relationships’. That thought brought me the comfort I needed at night to sleep. Because I couldn’t think of any other reasonable reason why my best friend didn't feel like my bestfriend. I’ll admit, I still don’t fully understand where we went wrong, the miscommunications, any of it. But I think we can get there — get to a point of understanding.”

JJ's hands unlinked from one another and went to my waist, his forehead falling against mine. “I want to try this. But we both have to want this, JJ. And we both have to try.”

I felt him nod against me, his head craning up to place a kiss on my forehead. “I swear to you, I’ll do my best. I want this. I do. And I’ll prove it to you, only if you let me.”

We stood wordlessly in each other’s arms for a few passing moments, at some point my head dropped to rest on his chest as his arms encircled me in an embrace. I wasn’t crazy or delusional. I knew this didn’t erase anything we had said or done to each other in the past 2 days, before that even. It would take time, and maybe a lot of it. But if we saw some kind of worth or value in working towards doing better, for ourselves and one another, then this was a moment to be cherished.

Because it’s a starting point. A good one. A better one. And this time, I didn’t have to convince myself of anything. I didn’t have to draw from context clues or body language to plead my case, to find some kind of saving grace. It was all here — laid out and in the open. He loved me and I loved him.

After a while, I lifted my head away from him to look up and meet his eyes. “I know you’re probably sick of hearing this but at least this will be the last time.” I half-joked. “What are we?”

And he just looked down at me with the most adoring expression I had ever seen. One of his hands came up from its place under the water on my waist to cup my cheek, drops of water dripping down as his thumb caressed my face.

“Well, I was hoping this meant that I could call you my girlfriend.” 

Then I tried my best to bite back a smile as my cheeks grew hot, the heat crawling up to my ears. “I think..” I started nervously, biting the inside of my bottom lip. “I think I’d like that.”

“Yeah?” A boyish smile broke out onto his face. 

“Yeah…” I whispered. Both of our pupils were blown wide and I felt this overwhelming rush of a feeling I couldn’t quite place but it felt...good. Really good. “Before we head back though…” I started with a mischievous glint in my eyes. “I’d like to put in my first official girlfriend request.”

His eyebrows arched in curiosity, and I’m pretty sure I saw some amusement in there. “Oh yeah? What?”

Wrapping my legs around his waist under the waist, I gazed into his eyes, my gaze only shifting for a second to look at his lips that were slightly parted. “Kiss me.” I whispered.

“Well, you didn’t have to ask for that.” Was all he said before he was leaning forward so his lips could meet mine, his hands trailing down to hold my thighs and pull me more into him. When I started to pay attention to my surroundings, I could hear the whoops and cheers of our obnoxiously loud friends all the way from the shore.

“Whoo!”

“It’s about time!”

I could feel JJ smile into the kiss at their antics, prompting one to spread on my own face, breaking the kiss but we made no moves to create space between one another. “They’re ridiculous.” JJ laughed.

“Gotta love ‘em for it.” I assured, moving my face back so we could look at each other normally.

“NOW BRING YOUR ASSES BACK OVER HERE SO WE CAN PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!” Kie bellowed from the beach.

“We should probably-”

“Yeah.” But the blonde made no moves to put me down, turning around and walking us both back to shore as the waves moved around us. 

And as we came back into clear view of our friends, our people. The night felt right. And I felt happy and warm. Content. 

Whatever happens from here, at least we gave it a fair chance. 

But right now? I couldn’t be any happier.

General taglist; @livlaughquinn

JJ Maybank Taglist; @ronnieissupermegafoxyawesomehot @maybankslover

Bittersweet escape taglist (please use my inbox to be added, just ask:)); @totallynotkaibiased @magnificantmermaid @livlaughquinn @maybaenk @honeynicoole @lomlhs-blog

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

©loveharlow

[spurnedadulthood]

hello, could you please set your queue to every 6 or 12 hours? to have it go off every hour is clogging my dash. not to be rude your message could be read in an unfavorable light the way you point out that only three muses connected with kensuke while you go and take your partners for granted. it was borderline passive aggressive if not downright guilt trip and it might not be your intention. i’m sure you are a wonderful person with many ideas if given the chance and it might be the wording in that post. i wish you the best of luck

First of all, I apologize for clogging your dash, but at the same time, you could always just unfollow if it bothered you that much? Like, due to the fact differing timezones is a thing, I wanted to ensure more people see my post so they can decide from there whether or not they want to unfollow/block me.

Second of all, I've been gone for a long while, so like I already said, everyone I was writing with either broke mutuals with me during my absence, became inactive, deactivated, or retired from the RPC entirely, so I don't know what you want me to say? Besides, I think you're overestimating how large my writing pool is, because not only is it rare for my threads to ever advance past two notes, it's not as though I had people clamoring to write with me; in fact, getting more interactions on here has often been akin to pulling teeth for the last two years and I'm not joking when I say the last notif I ever got was in February 2, so I have no idea what 'roleplay partners' I managed to take for granted, when really, it's the other way around.

I mean, you can say 'lack of activity doesn't reflect interest' all you want, but besides my own reblogs, my activity page literally shows two other notifs, and I can't even scroll down it... because nothing past it exists, and most of my followers I do have are inactive, because again, I have not been here.

Like, the whole reason I ended up vanishing from Kensuke's blog to begin with was because I was disheartened by how hardly anyone interacted with him and that has sadly been a reoccurring thing that happens again and again. Seriously, not only do the starters I write for people tend not to get replied to, I frequently get flaky muns essentially wasting my time and getting my hopes up for interactions... so when you consider how Kensuke is a character from a very niche series, how unwelcoming the RPC is towards characters from less than mainstream fandoms, and how dead tumblr RP has recently been, it's only natural for him to only have three bonds at best...

I mean, you might not like it, but it's the factual truth? And I'm not the type to really sugarcoat things, so as far as I'm concerned, actions speak louder than words; therefore, I don't really get the sense many are still interested in Kensuke as a muse. In fact, maybe I'm missing something here, but I'm genuinely confused on how it's guilt-tripping/passive-aggressiveness when I say that as a result of a lot of people moving on from tumblr roleplay (whether it's because they deactivated or retired from the RPC) and people I've been writing with understandably blocking me, Kensuke no longer has a lot of muses left that have a bond with him... so if people end up taking that the wrong way, then I don't know what to tell them, other than the fact I have legit been gone for a long time, so not many of my old roleplay partners are still around?

Either way, I do not appreciate the fact you didn't even bother to address this privately with me and forced me to unnecessarily post this on the dash where everyone could potentially see, so until further notice, I'm disabling the anonymous function... because I really would not prefer dragging this out longer than it has to be dragged out. I will, however, do as you request and space out my queue to post every 6 hours, but next time, please message me privately if you have any concerns.

[serpentarii]

my original work is not your inspiration

so, for the almost three years i’ve been on writeblr, i’ve had a few instances of suspiciously similar stories and premises from new followers and even a former mutual. i’ve seen someone exactly copy the very specific formatting i use on all of my posts for my original writing, down to the italics and bold (a format which i have been using for well over a year). the most recent incarnation of this is definitely the worst of it and i gotta say i’m sick of the bullshit. 

i will be censoring the url of this person, but due to the nature of the screenshots provided, it might be easy to find their blog. DO NOT harass this person. DO NOT go out of your way to find their blog. i’m not making this post to attack them, i just want to teach two lessons: 1) how to recognize plagiarism or lifted ideas and 2) why that’s a shitty thing to do. 

additionally, i don’t know what pronouns this person identifies with, so i will be referring to them with they/them pronouns, and i apologize if i’ve misgendered them in any way. 

RECEIPTS  

their most recent post is a wip/character introduction for a completely “new” project, but thanks to their tumblr’s default theme, you can clearly see my ahfs character post in their recent likes on the sidebar. 

aside from the obvious copy-paste of my original post’s formatting, the blue highlights are where it gets into the specifics of the various terms they’ve lifted from me. my wip a hymn for serpents, which i will abbreviate to ahfs, has a heavy focus on witches, femininity, heretics, apostates, and the ancient orders that govern everything. 

a lot of what’s presented could be seen as entirely coincidental, but once it all starts piling up, it turns into something that makes me extremely uncomfortable. 

it was posted to their blog yesterday. it is currently thursday, august 4th, as of writing this. 

the following two screenshots are from my posts. also note that i have not made a post for ahfs since december of 2021, and this person’s blog was created in july of 2022. 

screenshot from their archive. reminder that this is a main blog, not a sideblog, they like and follow from this one. i soft-blocked them in the process of drafting this post, so i’m unsure of when exactly they originally followed my writeblr. 

their activity in my notifs: 

when i asked a few friends/mutuals about this, they said that they had also seen this person in their notifs liking my posts, as some of them i’ve privated or deleted, and were therefore unavailable on my blog. this person was actively seeking out my content. 

it gets a little more complicated here, so please bear with me. the screenshots below are from their two previous wip introductions, with the dates of posting included. they’re from july 29th and june 30th respectively, but as seen above, their activity on my blog and their new wip six monsters so divine is very recent. 

also notice that the formatting is almost completely divorced from what they use in their most recent post, because it’s copying mine. i’ve scrolled through their blog as well, and none of their previous posts were formatted that way either. it’s also the first and only post about six monsters so divine on their entire blog. 

the names i’ve underlined also appear in their latest post, and were clearly repurposed for six monsters so divine a few days after they began searching through all of my posts. 

ADDITIONAL EVIDENCE   

now, if you’ve been taking note of the magenta highlights, these are relevant to my other wip and the novel i am currently in the process of writing, mordlust. both salem and aleksander are names of main characters, and i even recently made a post about their names’ meanings. 

 the story is somewhat of a sleeping beauty retelling as well, with a magical plague called the dornenheit (dornen meaning thorn), which makes me dubious of this person’s choice of surname “briarthorne”. 

i do think it might be a bit of a stretch to say that they’ve also been lifting some elements from mordlust, but given the situation, i wouldn’t be surprised. 

CONCLUSION 

i’m fucking pissed, but i’m also just done. as of now i am considering no longer posting any of my original writing/excerpts and taking down all of what i currently have up on my blog, which is years worth of content. 

i love writing. i love the craft. i love making worlds, characters, relationships, magic systems, prophecies, everything. i spend literal months worldbuilding and outlining to make something that i can be proud of, and to see someone just pick and choose what they like and repackage it as entirely their own is extremely upsetting and unmotivating. 

at the end of the day, creative writing is a deeply personal craft that takes a lifetime to master. why not write your own story instead of gleaning what you can from a complete stranger’s work? why try to form something from someone else’s out-of-context fragments and pinterest boards? it takes all the soul out of it. 

it’s ok to be inspired by others, it’s ok to have your own spin on a concept, but i’m literally just some random 19y/o posting for fun on tumblr, not an established nyt best-selling author with a massive platform and fanbase. i want to be a published author someday, and i want to publish the kind of novels that made me want to start writing. 

this is not how you do it. 

[hes-writer]

Harry would rather much hang with his ex

Prompt; Soo maybe you could write that Harry is dating a new girl and they are going to a club or something like that and there is Kendall Jenner and Harry is totally ignoring his girl for her. But at the end,l he apologizes and he asks her to be his official girlfriend. @coldnightfun

Y/N and Harry were exclusive at the moment. They’ve been seeing each other for a while after being introduced through their mutual friend. Met each other at a wedding, hit it off and soon went on their first date in which they were both absolutely nervous for but nonetheless, it worked out just fine since they went on a consecutive second and third date.

So maybe Harry hasn’t asked Y/N out officially, but it sure does seem like they had eyes only for each other. Attached to the hip, some would say. But Y/N would much rather have the assurance that she and Harry are on the same page and that her feelings are being returned at the same level. He just needed to actually say it to her and she’ll be good.

When Harry’s good friend, Alexa Chung, sent invitations out for her birthday party, Harry instantaneously took the chance to ask Y/N out as his plus one. Y/N hesitated on saying yes since it wasn’t really her type of scene. Somehow, his charm got to her and she was currently spritzing setting spray on her meticulously done makeup. Her hair was done in a high ponytail, making sure to brush the baby hairs out of her face. All she needed to do was put on her dress and heels.

“You look beautiful, love” Y/N jumps a little, not expecting Harry to be standing at the doorframe of her apartment so early. She’d given him a key recently, insisting that he needs it in case there was an emergency.

“Jesus Harry! Don’t scare me like that,”

Harry chuckled before strutting over to his love and admiring the beauty in front of him.

“You look absolutely amazing, Y/N. Probably won’t be able to take my eyes off of you,” He pecks her forehead instead of her lips which had Y/N yearning for him to ask the golden question.

——-

As soon as they arrived at the party, Harry was whisked away by the one and only, Kendall Jenner. He wasn’t literally taken away from her, per se, his attention was just not on her. Kendall greeted Harry with an enormous hug and a peck on the cheek to which Y/N squints her eyes at in uncertainty. She gets herself in control, though, figuring out if there were any recurring feelings going on between them. When she concludes that there weren’t, she relaxes. At first, Y/N was alright with it figuring that the pair probably needed some time catching up as Y/N recalls Kendall saying,

“I haven’t seen you in so long, Har!”

To which Harry retaliates with, “Don’t worry, Kenny. We can catch up, are you free for lunch tomorrow?”

And usually she wouldn’t be bothered by Harry making plans with his friends, but this is Kendall Jenner they’re talking about, his ex-girlfriend. Maybe Y/N was just a bit biased since all her previous relationship ended badly except for one, and she figures that being friends with your ex was a one in a million possibility.

The three of them set out to find their designated tables, Y/N visibly sulking when Harry’s hand reaches up at Kendall's lower back leaving Y/N to try to grasp a the cuffs of his leave. Harry doesn’t notice and continues walking at Kendall’s pace, leaving Y/N approximately two steps behind.

When Harry and Y/N find their dinner table with the accompanying name tags, Harry was deeply saddened to find out that Kendall’s table wasn’t near close to theirs–or his, Y/N could do just fine without her around. He leans over to hug her goodbye before reminding her of their lunch plans for tomorrow. Kendall walks off to sit at her table and Y/N sighs in relief. She and Harry could finally have some time to chat.

That wasn’t the case, however. Or maybe it was–it’s just that Harry keeps getting distracted by his phone. His thumbs tapping away at the illuminated screen while Y/N speaks about the paper she’d written for class.

“And then the professor said that citing your papers is the best way to ma–“

“Uh huh, mhm” Harry mumbles, a sure proof that he wasn’t listening to her at all since she didn’t even finish her sentence yet.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Yes, n-no I’m not sorry,” Harry looks up from his phone apologetically, “Kendall’s just telling me about this new place that opened downtown. Thinking we might go there tomorrow.”

Y/N purses her lips, a crease forming between her brows. She feels left out by the way he’s and she’s not sure if she should feel this way since Harry and her were exclusive, so technically he can still go out with other people. But should he really?

“Anyways love, what were ya’ saying about your prof?” Harry urges her to go on, clicking his phone off and turning to her completely.

Just as Y/N was about to open her mouth, Harry’s phone buzzed in his hand and he immediately looks down on it, laughing. Y/N looks down at her lap, feeling disinterested in her own story, losing the motivation to actually tell it.

The PA squeals from the static before Alexa’s voice was heard throughout the room.

“Hello all, dinner will be served in ten minutes,”

Y/N tummy growls a little growing hungry as time passes. She makes small talk with the people on the table and genuinely enjoys some of the conversations. That, until Harry, taps her shoulder.

“Hey Y/N, I’m going over to Kendall’s table for a bit,”

Before she could reply, he was fast-walking towards the direction of Kendall’s table.

—-

Dinner was about to be served and Harry had still not come back yet from wherever he drifted off to. The waiter sets a plate full of food in front of her and one asks if there was somebody sitting beside her. Deciding that she should probably look for Harry, Y/N shoots him a text about his whereabouts. Harry replies,

“Sitting w kenny for dinner

is that ok?”

Y/N’s mouth drops agape. Did he really just ditch her on her first party amongst big names?

“what???

harry come back here please”

She receives no reply from him and she’s forced to say no to the waiter. So much for being exclusive.

——

The whole evening, Y/N has not heard from Harry. Her phone remains notification-less and she walks off to the mini bar by the side of the room. She asks for a glass of wine before sighing, letting her eyes roam around the room in hopes of catching a glimpse of Harry.

And, oh boy, did she find him. Not only him but Kendall with her skinny figure grinding against Harry. She turns back around to the counter, downing her drink in one go, deciding that she’s had enough of him. She gathers her purse, standing up and walking towards them.

Y/N taps his shoulder, being blown off twice before her consistent patter annoys him and he eventually turns around.

“I’m leaving,” she says dully. Y/N watches as his face turned from a look of annoyance to recognition, to confusion.

“Wha-why? We just got here,”

“We got here three hours ago, Harry. And I’ve been with you for less than half of that time. I’m going home,” Y/N crosses her arms over chest, turning on her heel and strutting away towards the exit. She almost makes it out. Almost

“Y/N! Y/N wait!” Hearing her name, she picks up speed and makes it outside the street, preparing to holler for a cab before a hand takes hold of her elbow.

She turns around to see Harry panting, hands on his knees in front of him.

“Why are you leaving? Have I done something wrong?”

She scoffs at his cluelessness. Had he done something wrong? He’s really gonna ask that?

“I know I’m not as popular as anybody else here tonight, but I don’t deserve to be treated like trash or some kind of irrelevant to be put at the back burner by you for the whole night!”

Harry blinks at her owlishly, lips forming an ‘o’ but obviously still not getting the gist of the situation.

“I’ve been waiting for you for hours, Harry. You left me alone at our table to sit with her and you’re asking me if you did anything wrong?” She gasps out incredulously.

“And I know that we’re exclusive and definitely not official but seeing you so close to her hurts me. I don’t know if you’re as serious about me as I am to you but if not, then we shouldn’t waste our time anymore,”

It takes Harry a bit of time to fully comprehend the contexts of situation; how Y/N felt that whole night, Y/N putting her lovely self down all because he decided to pay attention to somebody else, and most importantly, Y/N essentially saying that a relationship between him and her is out of the question especially since he probably saw her grinding with Kendall on the dance floor. Y/N patience wears thin and she grits her teeth, preparing to catch a cab late at night once again.

“Wait Y/N, don’t leave. Please don’t leave,” Harry begs. She scratches her head, palms opening and closing to relieve the tension coursing through her body.

“What do you want now?”

“I-I know that we’re exclusive and I’m an absolute idiot for doing what I did back there,” His head flicks towards the house. “But I really really like you Y/N and I want you to be mine. I see a future with you and if you feel the same way, I hope you’ll say yes,”

He gnaws on his lip, nervous about the response he’ll get from Y/N.

“You really hurt me, Harry”

“I know, God, I know and I’m so sorry Y/N. I hope you can forgive me,”

She sighs before nodding, how could she ever stay angry at this man

He smiles widely, arms opening for a hug. He engulfs her in his strong arms while she weakly pats his back. His face buried itself in her hair, he mumbles,

“Will you be mine?”

——

LMAO @ the ending I’m sorry it sucks

[feel199x]

fboy! lee felix, best friends to lovers

♡  a/n: okay i know y’all have seen felix’s pre-debut pics and i akdfdsjfh; just had to get this out of my system!

♡  summary: your best friend, felix, has a sudden change in attitude- leaving you baffled, why?

!! warnings: themes of anxiety n depression! but vv fluff towards end

♡  masterlist  ♡

♡  song rec: slow love - tender & nothing but thieves -  you know me too well

 You weren’t sure when it happened. It must’ve been gradual you think, slowly slipping away. Eventually disconnecting. It didn’t really hit you until Felix completely stopped answering your phone calls and text messages. He would ignore you in the hallways, never partnered with you anymore, and now you sat alone during lunch. Today, still confused and oblivious to the whole situation, you tried sitting with him and his friends. He had still been talking to you then- could one word replies once a week count as talking? You sat in the seat next to him, and asked him how he had been, commenting on how he seemed so busy recently. You remember the table going quiet, eyes all on you- almost pitifully. Felix looked at you like he’d never seen you before.

“What are you doing?”

“I just, ah,” you fidgeted with your hands, mumbling as you picked your lunch bag, “sorry.”

You sat on the floor of the bathroom stall, sniffling. It was unsanitary, yes, but it was better than crying in the library and being shushed. Maybe you should’ve known, lots of friends parted ways in high school. You just never thought that it would happen with you and Felix. He had promised he wouldn’t, and the way he was acting now wasn’t like him. He had always, always been friendly and chipper. He was exciting, unpredictable, and most notably, unbelievably caring and loyal. Lots of people changed, usually for the worst, but lix? Lix wasn’t like that. Maybe you had depended on him too much, and it finally pushed him away? Maybe you were too boring, maybe he had outgrown you in some way? You were trying to rationalize, justify his actions to himself. The bell rang, snapping you out of your dazed thoughts. You stumbled out of the stall, washing your face. You were such a crybaby, and here you were swollen eyes and lips, all screwed over because someone didn’t like you anymore.

You saw him in the halls as you walked to your next class, you thought he was looking at you, but he wasn’t. He was looking past you, through you. Your head hung in embarrassment and you sat at your desk. Your head was in your hands, pulling at your skin. It was senior year already, how were you going to make new friends at this point? Everybody had established friend groups, cliques, no one would invite you to tag along with them at this point. You were nice, you guessed, but that didn’t mean all that much. It was unlikely your niceness would get you further than acquaintances or mutuals. You could barely pay attention in your maths class, staring at the board with glazed over eyes. You were trying not to think about him, trying not to over-analyze the situation and make yourself even more upset. It was hard because that’s the type of person you were, anxious and jumpy. Felix had always been the one to talk you down, even when you insisted that you were being a burden and didn’t want to bother him. Maybe it had gotten too much, maybe that’s why he was acting the way he was.

The school hours dragged on, your attention and focus wavering and dwindling as the clock seemed to tick slower. Everything was getting to be too much, the ticking of the clock, the teacher’s voice, even the flipping of paper and scratching of pencils and pens on paper. You jumped out of your seat, making the chair squeak as you got up. To your relief, everyone was much too self-involved to notice, and you slipped out of the classroom. It was friday, and it was a tradition with you and Lix to have a game night, eat Chinese, and complain about whatever was on your minds that day. You would walk home, his small hand holding yours, and fall asleep on the couch together, his head resting on his stomach and his arms wrapped around you while you stroked his hair. It had been three months since your last game night, and the last time he had spent all his time on the phone with some girl.

That had been happening a lot recently.

It hadn’t bothered you at first, not really. Mostly because at the time you didn’t realize that he was flirting. But when he ended up skipping hanging out with you to fool around with girls. Still, it wouldn’t have bothered you if it was only girl, the problem was that it was many. But they never seemed to stick. You had tried asking him about it, not even really trying to lecture him- just wanting to understand the sudden change in attitude. That’s when it went downhill, and it went downhill fast. He had just stopped replying all together, maybe that was the turning point. Had you been too invasive?

Still, your heart sank when you didn’t see him by the school’s entrance, all excited and happy, ready to plant a kiss on your cheek.

Being close to him always made your heart beat faster, and not because of your anxiety, he just made you feel like- like, something. Today you ate Chinese alone, watching sad romantic dramas instead having your ass kicked in mortal combat. You had your notifications on, so you don’t know why you kept checking your phone. You felt guilty, maybe you were overbearing? You wanted to apologize, but would that be guilt tripping? Your hands were getting sweaty, and your rubbed it on your sweatpants, needing to fidget to relieve tension.

You: im sorry- You erased the message, and typed again, You: is everything okay? Your leg was bouncing, and you deleted the message again. Why was this so stressful?

you: im sorry if i was too much, i love you and i hope everything is okay

lixie! ♡ : . . .

You watched as the three little dots and bounced, holding your breath, but they disappeared. Your eyebrows furrowed, tearing at the edge of your eyes, ready to break the dam. You shut off your phone, doing your best to turn your attention the TV screen. At Least the romantic drama gave you an excuse to cry. You wrapped your arms and legs around the throw pillow, burying your head in it as your cried, just like you would do if he was here. And eventually, you fell asleep, to no new notifications.

Sometimes you forgot that Felix only lived next door, but you were always reminded when there was a car door slamming and shouting. His parents weren’t home so he must’ve gone out with his friends. You should’ve been mad at him, skipping out on game night and ignoring your text to do god knows what. This was happening a lot more recently, he would leave and stay out past curfew, but somehow he had never gotten caught. But you were just worried, he was going through something, you were sure. But you weren’t there to help.

“_____! _____, open the door!” he was elongating his word, were they slurred? Had he been drinking? You ran to the door, almost tripping over your blankets. Felix fell when you opened the door, and you nearly didn’t catch him when he flopped into your arms. He was heavy, and he reeked of alcohol.

“Hey,” he gave you a wink, “Hey there, ___!”

“Hey, lix,” you said softly, “Have you been drinking?”

“Lix,” he said bitterly, “I missed that.”

“Have you been drinking?”

“Mmmm, no!”

You sighed, almost dragging him to your bed. You were disappointed in him, he would never had done something like this a year ago. But a year ago, you still had an idea of who he was. He rolled on top of your bed. “Don’t you miss cuddling, ___? I do, I miss you,” he sighed sadly, “I like you, ___. I like like you. Mmm, I love you. Do you have food? I’m hungry.” You pulled a cover over him, tucking him in and he reached, cupping one side of your face. Instinctively leaning into his touch. “I love you, ___.” You nodded, placing his hand back down. “I’m just gonna get you some food and water, and advil, okay?” He nodded eagerly. “Okay,” he slurred, “But then you gotta cuddle, like always.” Your mind hadn’t really processed the words, and you weren’t sure you wanted to be thinking about him until he was sober. He was asleep when you came back in, not that you expected anything else. You put the plate on the nightstand and the glass of water with a tablet of advil by its side. You looked at him once, sighing to yourself before you shut the lights and closed the door.

You didn’t know what you expected. You closed the room to your door and flopped back on the couch. No new messages either. You were supposed to have therapy tomorrow, but you weren’t sure you wanted to go. It took you some time to call up the office and cancel, you knew it was a bad idea, but it was so incredibly draining. You just wanted to wallow for a bit, binge on Chinese food until your parents came back from the anniversary getaway they were on. You could hear music blaring from Felix’s house, and you fought the urge to look out your window. It was late already, the sun already high up into the sky. You ordered some more food and mindlessly binged TV, not really paying attention to what was going on. You shut off your phone, throwing it to the other side of the couch. Felix’s music was still blaring, and instead of raising the volume and ignoring you, you went back to your room and sat at the desk. He only did this when he was angry, overwhelmed with some sort of emotion. He was probably dancing too, but you didn’t want to peek through the blinds.

Except, Felix’s voice came on the track. You knew it had to be him because really- who had a voice as deep as him? It sent shivers down your spine, and it made you proud. Felix had always taken an interest in dancing, just music in general. And he was good at it too. He had posted about performing in a showcase, and you really wanted to go, but he hadn’t invited you. It was a public event, so you could’ve shown up if you really wanted to, but it’d be awkward.

You rolled away, pushing yourself from the chair. Maybe you shouldn’t have canceled therapy, you were starting to feel that dangerous feeling, and you needed someone to talk to. You tapped on the armrest, throwing your head back and closing your eyes. Sometimes therapy annoyed you, but at least the coping skills usually helped. It’d be better if Felix was here helping you though. You were glad you had finished your essays before thursday, otherwise you’d end up turning them in late. You were starting to feel numb and unmotivated. Your eyes fluttered open. You missed Felix, you missed his touch, his voice. You missed counting his freckled and sneaking out to drive around at night. None of this made any sense, why was he ignoring you if he loved you? Was it all just drunken babble? It had to be, you’d heard stories of people saying things they didn’t mean while they were drunk.

What had you done? You could understand if you were overbearing or too much, but what was the turning point? Why hadn’t he had just talked to you about it? You didn’t know, you didn’t have any answers. You went back to the living room, falling asleep with the background sound of the movie, reading old text messages.

lixie! ♡ : come out now!!

lixie! ♡  : ___! wake upppp!!

lixie! ♡: has sent you an image

lixie! ♡: please bb i miss u! lets eat junk

you: lix please it 3 am

lixie! ♡: what kind of best friend are you?

lixie! ♡: abandoning your best friend in his times of need

lixie! ♡: did you just shut off your lights

lixie! ♡: and turn off your ringer

lixie! ♡: oH MY GOD

lixie! ♡: wait seriously come out i miss u

you: fine, but you have to catch me this time

lixie! ♡: uhh no promises

It was Monday soon, and you knew you had school, you knew you had to get up, but you didn’t. It was stupid probably, but you had no energy, no motivation to go. You felt gross, stupid, but not enough to push you out of your bed. You hadn’t even slept, your eyes burning and heavier than you could manage, but it wasn’t enough to fall asleep. You should’ve gone to therapy, you shouldn’t have canceled and you felt worse and worse. You stared up at the white ceiling, it burned in your vision, and almost expanded, like it went on forever. The blinds were closed and your light was shut off, leaving you in an uncomfortable darkness. But still, the white was almost too much, but you couldn’t look away. You couldn’t move.

It was Tuesday now, and you moved. You looked like hell, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to pay attention other than short bursts of focus, but you couldn’t afford to miss anymore classes. If your attendance slipped, then so would your grades, and with you grades your health...and so on, and so on. You passed Felix in the hallway, and he looked in your direction. You would’ve stopped to talk to him maybe, but you were rubbing sleep out of your eyes, still not having slept. Your classes barely passed, the time for breaks seemed to dissipate the more you looked forward to it. And then you had enough, you were tired of waiting around for an explanation, tired of feeling guilty, tired of feeling like this. You snapped. You saw him walking to the cafeteria, laughing along with his new friends.

“Lee Felix!”

What were you doing? You didn’t know, but the words were already out of your mouth and you stopped in the middle of the hallway. It was emptying as people rushed to get lunch. Felix paused for a moment, almost turning around.

“Lee Felix!”

His friends shot him a look, and Felix finally turned around, hands in his pockets. “What do you want? I’m busy.” You crossed your arms, walking towards him. “Felix what the hell? He shrugged, giving you a blank look. “What do you want?” he repeated, “I told you, I’m busy. I don’t have time for you.” To say that stung was an understatement. Your voice grew softer, cracking. Your fist tightened at your sides and you looked down, trying not to cry, “I was going to say I missed you. I wanted to know what was wrong.” Felix frowned a bit, trying to keep his demeanor from cracking. “I don’t. I already said I don’t have time for you and your problems. Yes, you were too much. You are too much. Leave me alone.”

 Needless to say, you skipped the rest of classes that day. Your parents asked you what was wrong, wondering if they should make an emergency appointment with your therapist. You guessed it was a drunken ramble after all. Your bed was a mess, pillow stained with tears. How long has it been since you took a shower? When did you last eat? You watched the light in your room disappear and appear again, days where passing you knew, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t care, and it felt like no one else did either. There was practically a mold of your body in your bed by now, but still, you couldn’t find the strength to get up. You weren’t even thinking about him, actually, you weren’t thinking about anything at all. You couldn’t get up, you couldn’t will yourself to even brush your teeth. You felt gross, unsanitary. You were tired, only being able to sleep in short intervals, but always being snapped awake. You rubbed your eyes, still staring up at the ceiling. Why hadn’t you ever painted it? It stayed ingrained in your vision, even as you closed your eyes. You were able to turn around, even though your body felt heavy like molasses. But still, the white was in your vision. God, you were so tired, and you needed to move. It was beginning to hurt, your body numb and aches spreading through various parts of your body.

At some point, you felt a weight dip in your bed.

“Hey.”

You thought you were hallucinating, it couldn’t have been him. “Hey, look at me, please?” You felt his hand on your shoulder, brushing your hair to the side, it was all sticky from the stain of your tears, and he brushed them away too. “Your parents called me, they’re worried about you.” He rolled you around, fingers dusting against your jaw. “I’m worried about you. I shouldn’t have said what I said.” He looked at you sadly, looping his fingers behind your ear and playing with your hair. “I know it’s wrong for me to say now, but I meant what I said when I stumbled on your door.”

“You were drunk, lix.”

He smiled at the sound of your voice, somehow soothing him. “I was sober enough.” He pulled you into his chest, the side of your face pressed against his chest. “I was trying so hard to move on,” he murmured, “I wanted any excuse not to see you. I thought if I was mean I’d stop liking you. Sounds so stupid, I know.” He sighed deeply, you could feel his chest rise and fall. “You’re all that I want. You’re all that I need.” He laced his hands in yours, reaching up into the sky, pressing a kiss on the top of your head. “You need to shower, okay? And get some fresh air.”

“I can’t. I don’t have energy.”

“I’m here to help, forever.”

He picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder and you flopped around aimlessly, not having the willpower to fight him. He turned around as you undressed, leaving you only in your undergarments. The bath ran, the warm water giving you some feeling back in your body. Your knees were against your chest as lix washed your hair. You sputtered as some of the water streamed down your face. “Sorry, I’m doing my best.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to.”

He kneaded his knuckles against your back to relieve you of the tension you had accumulated the past few day, and you were beginning to relax. The water lapped against you as he help you take a bath. It was embarrassing in a sense, but it’s not like he hasn’t seen you in this sadder daze before. He let you towel off, and brought back clothes. His clothes.

Things felt like they were finally returning to normal, but you still felt weak. “Are you okay?” You hadn’t moved the past week, much less walked around. “I’m fine, my legs are just weak.” He smiled at you, and you had almost forgotten the butterflies you got when he smiled with his eyes. “I’ll carry you!”

“Lix-!”

Without another word, Felix picked you and carried you bridal style, your parents hooting playfully after you. Felix drove humming to a song  you didn’t recognize and you sat in the passenger’s seat, smelling his cologne on his hoodie. His hoodie swamped you, leaving you in a big lump of cloth. Your nose was under the collar, pressed against the texture. It had been so long since you stole one of his hoodies. It had just been so long. You sat in the mcdonald’s parking lot, screeching abba lyrics as you ate.

“Do you feel better?”

He put his food down, and looked at you intently, staring deep into your eyes. His head slightly tilted and a small smile on his face. “As long as I’m with you,” you murmured, “I’ll feel like I’m in heaven.” He was leaning now, still looking at you, dragging his thumb across your lips. “Can I kiss you?” You smiled at him, and his eyes brightened. He held your face as he kissed you, and even though he tasted like fries, you were glad that this was finally happening. His thumb rubbed your cheeks as he pulled away, still cupping your face, still looking at you. “I love you,” you whispered. 

“I love you too, baby.”

The thing was, he still hadn’t asked to be your boyfriend. It was a week now, and everything was normal again. He had introduced you to his friends, who were all incredibly nice to you, and Felix let you listen to his songs. He came over just to show you a new dance step he had come up with. You found yourself awake at night, fingertips ghosting over the outline of your lips. You sighed, letting yourself fall back asleep in lix’s hoodie.

It was friday now, game night. You had almost forgotten what it was like to see him bouncing around the school entrance, attentively looking at you. “I was worried,” he snaked his arm around your shoulder and walked with you for a bit before grabbing a hold of your hand. “I’m gonna kiss your ass on fortnite.” You groaned, “Can’t we play mario kart?” He shook his head, pinching your cheek. “No, ‘cause your good at that and I need an excuse to hold your hand while I teach you to play.” You blushed, turning away but he squished your cheeks. “You’re so cute you know that? Too cute.”

You had gotten the two of you killed multiple times, even after you sat in between Felix’s legs and he snaked his arms under your to teach you the controls. But to be fair, you weren’t really paying attention to his instructions. You were focusing on the warmth of his hands as he cupped your hands. He groaned again, the kill screen mocking him as it re-winded and replayed the death. “No offense, I love you, but seriously. You suck so, so bad.”

You bit your lip, and looked up at him. He put down his controller and looked back down on you, arms tightening around your waist. “What is it?”

“Lix…”

“Hmm,” he put his thumb on your chin, holding your head up, “What is it?”

“Why haven’t you asked me out yet? Was it like a one time thing or a joke or-?”

“That explains why you’re not wearing it, I’m so stupid.”

 One arm let go of you and he reached for his bag, fishing in it for a few moments before pulling a bag out. “Lix…” He pulled out a box, and opened it, both hands around your waist again. “It’s a locket, with last year’s prom picture. I was gonna ask you out then but I chickened out.” He pulled the necklace out, brushing your hair to the front as you toyed with the locket. It was heart shaped, but it was far from simple. Intricate engravings sat on the edge, gold and your favorite color gem. Along with it sat your birth stone and Felix’s it.

“So, ___, will you be my lover?”

“God, that’s my far the stupidest thing you’ve said.”

He smiled down at you, thumb brushing against your lips before he kissed you again. It was like you were in the car of the mcdonald’s listening to abba again, but different, more passionate. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way,” he breathed hard, pulling away but pecking you, “Please pay attention, because I’m only going to explain this to you one more time.”

[the-resident-imagines]

Three Years

Summary: (Based off a prompt given to me by @inlovewith3 ) 

Can you do an imagine with Conrad where he and the reader are ex lovers and the reader left town with no word now she's back in town after like 3 years as a surgeon. They run into each other and they talk

Pairing: (Conrad/(y/n)) , (Friendship - Nic/(y/n))

Warnings: Does a Broken Heart count? Angst, Generalized stress and anxiety, elevators? (I have a thing against them)

Word count: 1702

A/N: Ok, so I am terrible with romance and stuff but I would say this is a ... start? Haha, either way, I am under the impression that if the woman that I loved left me abruptly like the way you are about to read about, I would probably be pretty pissed. So I kinda channeled that mindset while writing this. That being said, I hope you guys enjoy and feel free to tell me you hate it. XD

(Y/N) knew that coming back was going to end up being a litany of emotions. Three years had gone by, almost to the day. Three years ago, she stood here as a third year surgical resident, with the perfect boyfriend, an amazing group of friends, and just an overall perfect life.

Until the day that she had left. Her fear of commitment ruining everything she had tried so hard to build.

Now here she was, a surgeon. A damn good one at that. She was hoping that she could ace the interview to be able to come back to where it all started for her. To fix everything that she had broken and be able to go back to what it used to be. To come back home.

(Y/N) didn’t know where, or even if any of her friends, her crew, were still here. Maybe some of them had drifted away after she made her sudden and abrupt leave. She couldn’t blame them if none of them wanted to see her again, even if they were still all here. She also knew that she couldn’t worry about that right now. She had spent too much time dwelling in those thoughts on the flight when she should have been focusing on how to impress the person who was about to hire her.

She did still kind of hope that she would run into someone.

She walked the familiar path to the elevators, her heels already irritating the bottoms of her soles. She’d stupidly worn them on the flight, so she should have known that they would hurt. Especially by now. The elevator slid open as she approached, as a family exited it. She slid into it and settled herself into the back corner, leaning against the railing to try and take some of the weight off her feet. She leaned forward and pressed the button for the fifth floor then leaned back again. She pulled her phone out and forced her attention to a couple of the notifications.

Somebody slid an arm into the doors right before they shut, forcing them back open, allowing the person in. She finished the post she was reading, before she looked up to the second individual resting against the side wall of the elevator, facing away from her.

The man was a little taller than her, which really wasn’t saying much. His hair was a controlled chaos that comes from years of practice. He was tapping out a rhythm on his blue scrub pants, his other hand came up and rubbed a hand through the messy blonde locks. His jacket that rested on his shoulders was a dull grey, probably just to keep him warm in the cold climate of the hospital.

She knew though. The moment he had stepped foot into the elevator. The cologne that she had spent a full two years picking on him about because she could never find it in stores. The smell that never really lifted from the jacket she stole from him. It was him, the perfect boyfriend.

Conrad Hawkins.

She could only gawk as the elevator doors opened and he strolled out without a glance at her. Her heart pounded as the doors closed again.

*****

The interview was just like every other interview that she had experienced in her lifetime. She had been nervous (that sort of run in in the elevator, did not help those nerves,) but she was also confident. She was a good surgeon. Hell, a great one. All she wanted was that opportunity to come back home. Back to Chastain.

She was walking around the fourth floor, where Conrad had gotten off at before. Hoping to find a trace of him somewhere. She had been walking for a few moments before she stopped at a nurses station, a familiar face staring down at the charts in her hand. (Y/N) cleared her throat hoping to garner Nic’s attention. It did just that, startling the young blonde from her thoughts.

“I’m sor- oh my god, (Y/N)?” Nic asked incredulously, stepping closer to the counter, a welcoming smile on her face.

“In the flesh.” (Y/N) responded, shrugging her arms sarcastically, “or at least that's the name they call me.”

Nic rounded the corner, throwing herself at (Y/N), “You look so good,” Nic pulled away, “and where have you been? What are you doing here?”

“Nic, I promise that I’ll answer any questions, but how about over dinner? Tonight?” (Y/N) suggested, pulling away from Nic and gripping her arms in her hands affectionately.

Nic nodded her head at the offer. “Sounds good, where at?”

“How about that place we all used to go? Is your phone number still the same?” (Y/N) asked.

“Yes and yes. So since you obviously didn’t stop by to talk, is there anything I can help you with?” Nic asked, a joking smirk on her face. She grabbed the previously forgotten chart from the other side of the counter.

(Y/N)’s smile never wavered as she watched Nic round up everything that she needed, before turning her attention back to (Y/N). “Actually, so you think you can point me towards Conrad?” A sheltered look suddenly appeared on Nic’s face, and (Y/N) backtracked. “I have a lot of people that I have to apologize to.”

Nic smiled a sad smile, “A little bit, you leaving hurt a lot of people.”

(Y/N) felt a tug at her heart, “I know, but I left him to wake up alone. I owe every single person that I left an apology, but I really owe him one, please?”

Nic sighed, the chart dropping to her side. “He’s probably in the lounge, his shift just ended.” (Y/N) smiled, and began to walk off, knowing that she would see Nic later on. She stopped as Nic called out to her again.

“(Y/N), its been rough around her recently, especially for him.” Nic formed her next words carefully. “He’s not the same as when you left him.” (Y/N)’s heart sank as she continued to smile at Nic.

“Thanks Nic.”

Muscle memory-guided her towards the lounge. She still was unable to recognize most of the people that she walked past. She was lost in her own thoughts as she continued her trek, navigating the hallways like she was just running through them yesterday, causing trouble all while saving the day. Most of the time.

Turning one of the final corners, she ran right into someone. Reaching out, she grabbed onto the shoulders of the person in front of her. Partly for her own stability, partly to offer a genuine apology to the victim of her clumsiness. She looked up from the stubble covered chin and into the eyes of the person and was shocked to see the man she was looking for.

Based on the expression that fluttered across his face, she felt it was safe to assume that the feeling was mutual. It clearly was not the only thing he felt by seeing her, being in (Y/N)’s grips. It didn’t take long for him to slip into a more neutral expression, a slight shit-eating grin that almost hid everything that his eyes were clearly displaying for the world.

He didn’t offer any words, instead, he slipped from the grasp, he shook his head once then spun on his heel, away from her and back down the hallway he came from. She followed. “Conrad.”

He ignored her the first time, and then when she tried again. It was only after she stopped, and yelled at, him did he stopped. He didn’t turn to her, instead, he stood there staring at the wall in front of him. “Conrad, I’m sorry. Please, just talk to me.”

He shook his head, “There isn’t anything to be said, (Y/N).”

She took a step forward, like a predator hunting its prey. “Look, I know, I messed up. Badly.” Conrad made a noise, somewhere between a chuckle and a sigh.

“That doesn’t really cover it all.”

“Look at me Conrad, please let me apologize.”

The two stood in silence for a few moments before he turned to her, slowly. She was startled to see the pain that stood out most on his face. The type of pain that only came from losing someone that you loved. “Ok, apologize to me. Tell me that you're sorry for leaving, and then leave again-”

She felt the tears well up in your eyes as the anger began to drown the pain. “Conrad, please-” the plead fell quietly from her mouth as he took another step closer to her. His finger pointing at her, trembling with emotion.

“No, you have no right coming back here after you,” the words got stuck in his throat as he looked at the woman that he used to love. That a part of him still did. She looked about as close to crying as he felt, and suddenly his anger quelled, knowing that anything he said now would only be said out of the anger and shock that he felt. So instead he dropped his hand and took the step back. “I loved you, (Y/N). You left. I had to stay behind and try to pick up all the pieces.”

He took another step back as he came up to the next turn in the hall. “Right now is not a good time, and I don’t know if there will ever be a right time. So I’m sorry that you didn’t feel like you could trust me to help you through whatever you were going through, but I don’t think I can ever accept an apology for that.”

“Conrad, let me try, please-” Her hand reached for him, but stopped short as he took another step away from her.

“I was going to ask you to marry me, (Y/N). I still have the ring.”

He left the conversation with that as he backed off, allowing one more glance at her before he scurried away as quickly as he could.

Leaving (Y/N) to her thoughts and an empty hospital corridor, tears streaming down her face.

fin

[starsmuserainbow]

Thank you!

So, it’s that time again!

I originally intended to wait longer with my next post like this, but then again I’d only have waited because I would want to avoid having to face my shyness by doing this here. So, instead of waiting, I decided to go ahead with this number.

I have reached another number, that will be mentioned once but only below the cut for those that don’t like people talking about their amount of followers.

This is incredibly hard for me, but I had big plans for my next post and I intend to stick to those plans. It will get very long below the cut, so be warned when you click.

Short version:

Thank you all for following me and thus being interested in my Star and/or my writing!

I apologize if any of the ones that I’ll list below are currently on hiatus or inactive or anything, I don’t intend to force you back or something, I just wanted to say how I feel about your blog, and also try to word how thankful I am, and/or say a few nice words which I never would have the courage to say otherwise.

One more thing: Please don’t measure the length or compare it to the others. I can’t say exactly the same amount of things to everyone, and I also don’t wanna repeat ‘cliche-y’ terms for every single one of you. I only wanna write the most important things I feel about you, so please don’t be mad for getting fewer lines than someone else or something.

Also, to those that had already been mentioned in the last post I did of this (half a year ago or so), forgive me if something I say sounds very similar.

So! On with the list. I plan to mention almost every mutual I have down here, if I left you out I apologize. I go by the ‘followers’ list of tumblr, so it could be that it isn’t showing me everything right now or I simply missed one while going through the list. I still value you though! Oh, or, if I can see the dates of posts, and you haven’t posted anything within say the last two months or so, I’ll not mention you either. (I’ll also leave out ones like, that are posting news of something and likely only followed me back to... I don’t know, to be polite or something?)

Before I start: Thank you for allowing me to have reached 400 followers!

EDIT: If you got a notification but can’t find yourselves on the list, I am so very sorry! I had more people on the list at first, but then removed a few as I was working on it for various reasons (my shyness the most prominent one, inactivity being another and/or also if I just didn’t really know what to write), and tumblr seems to have sent out notifications nonetheless! I am very very truly sorry, I still value you very much!

@frozenloyalty: I think you’ve been following me for a very long time already, and I don’t understand why but I think tumblr has already made me unfollow you a few times, so first off, my apologies if you have recieved follow-notices more than once from me over the time. I’m not that indecisive about who I follow, and I really hate it when I after some time find out that I’m not following someone anymore. I actually don’t know anything about Xiaolin, but nonetheless I really like your character and I really enjoy the things you write! Not to mention you also have an Aqualad, and I think you’re doing him greatly and I always like to read the things you put on my dash!

@the-boy-wcnder: I think I mentioned in my last of these kind of posts already how much I enjoy to talk to you OOC? I don’t have many that I actually talk to about things sometimes, and you’re definitely one of those few! That means a lot for me, and while I’m not using Skype anymore which leaves basically only IMs on here (and tags on posts), I still appreciate it highly everytime we talk! Then there’s of course also the thing about the thread with the tamaranean staff; I’m so glad that you actually liked that idea/concept of mine! I very much enjoyed the interactions we had so far, and - this isn’t to force you to be active again or anything for I know that your last post has been a while but it’s still withing the 2 months I’ve set as ‘limit’ to when someone has to have been active to be included in here - I’m sure there’ll be many more great ones to come!

@shiningdream: I don’t know a thing about Pretty Cure in general, maybe aside from the fact that it is about magical girls. But from what I’ve seen, I really like Nozomi! And since I have never seen anything from it, that must be thanks to your writing! She seems like a wonderful character, I’m happy to be able to follow the things you write and learn more about her in that way, and even more happy that you are actually following me back!

@sorcxrxss: I don’t remember the name of the blog anymore (you had a different back then I know that), but I remember that we ‘met’ very early in my starting on here. I won’t forget that, and it always makes me happy when I notice that we’re still mutuals!

@riverborne: What a wonderful character Mnemosyne seems to be! I think I have told you that somewhere before (in my last ‘thank you’-thing? or maybe IM? I can’t say anymore), but you definitely made me enjoy her and that even though I never watched Sailor Moon far enough to actually know the character! Thanks for still following me, it means a lot!

@hisluckycharm: We had a very short-lived thing going once, didn’t we? Anyway! I love Ladybug and you do her so nicely, I very much enjoy to read your things when they appear on my dash!

@steelbonesandbighearts: Again, I don’t know anything about the fandom. The concept (of Hetalia as a whole I assume) is very fascinating though and I thank you for being interested in interacting with me! I enjoyed what we had so far; which reminds me; what happened to our thread? I’ll have to look up if it’s one of the things I (sadly) miss from time to time, because I definitely would like to continue interacting with you!

@graceful-cure-swan: I’m so thankful to have a chance to interact with you! Tsubasa is a really great character (and I assumed she would be a canon character at first since I have no idea about the fandom), and I so much appreciate that you were the one to make the first step for us to interact! I’m still not quite over my problems about sending things to people, but I always make myself try a little harder because I know there are wonderful people like you that do it and I wish to be able to give back a little of the love it shares, too!

@gottakeepemall: I think we talked somewhere once? Anyway! I haven’t watched Pokemon far enough to actually know about Bonnie, but from what I’ve seen thanks to you I absolutely adore her! I really like seeing you on my dash, and it makes me happy to know that you are still following me, too!

@apocalypsxmaidxn: I know I suck at communicating, and I feel like I’m way too often not responding anymore when we start talking through IM, and for that I’m very very sorry! I feel like we’d have interacted a lot already, but I think there wasn’t actually that much we did (yet)? We certainly should do more things together!

@cruelcrusader: I think you might be the only Batman that follows me, and that means a lot! I very much enjoy to see your things on my dash, and I’m happy that you are following me as well!

@adamxntium: I’m so glad about our interaction! Even if it takes some time every now and then to be continued, it’s a wonderful thread and I’m sure there is much more awaiting the two of them!

@justathief: Oh, Star and me both definitely enjoyed the interaction we had so much! I’ve actually recently put ‘fly me to the moon’ into my playlist on my computer again, and everytime it starts playing I’m reminded of the thread! You’re a great Red X and I always enjoy to read what appears on my dash from you!

@vertounda: We haven’t had any big interactions (yet), but let me just still say that I very much enjoy knowing that we’re mutuals! I appreciate it whenever you send me something (and I really should get better at sending things to return that gesture sometimes too), and it’s always great to see the things you do!

@aerokinesiiss: I love the fact that we’re Star-Sisters (for both going by Star on here)! Back when I read W.i.t.c.h., I always liked Hay Lin very much. Not only did interacting with you renew that liking, it also made it even bigger! I read almost everything that I see posted by you, and I’m always so excited when our threads are continued! (This isn’t the blog where I should mention this, but - I’m not sure if I’ll get enough followers on him any time soon to do a post like this there and also - I’ll never get over how thankful/delighted/happy I am for you being the first to interact with my Wildfire! And then it became such a wonderful relationship between them, I just love them so much together and often think about them!)

@destruction-robot: Again a fandom I know nothing about; but still I definitely like to see you on my dash! You’ve been following on my sideblogs too, and even already interacting, which I appreciate very much. That brings me to the thought... don’t you have sideblogs too? I think I’ve read something about them once while I was on mobile and intended to take a look once I’m back on my computer, but then forgot about it! I’ll have to check for those after being done with this post, I’ll certainly not want to miss out on more writing from you! (Also, by the way, what happened to our threads, on any of my three blogs? I’ll have to try and search for them, too, that is if you still want to continue those since I think it’s been a while already)

@aureajuniper: I have watched your dash and what happened on your blog for a while already. I enjoy your writing very much, and I learned so much about your characters only thanks to following you, I honestly can’t understand why you seem to have so many bad things happening every now and then. I’m very sorry that those things happen to you, you’re a wonderful person that not only does a great job at RPing but also does icons for others, and you don’t deserve any bad things happening to you!

@billyandhismultiples: A Billy! Oh, I was really happy when I saw you! He’s such a enjoyable character, and then you do him so well! We haven’t had any long-ish interactions yet or anything (we had one, I just don’t think it really counts as long), and Star hasn’t given Billy a chance on becoming friends yet, but I’m sure however they will turn out any interactions that are to come will be wonderful! And even if there are none to come, I still enjoy seeing such a wonderful Billy on my dash, and then even knowing he’s (well, or, technically, his mun) is following me back!

@sclsticed: I didn’t even know about Kiran before I found you (I guess you followed me first? I don’t actually remember anymore). She’s such a wonderful character though and I’m so very thankful to have learned about her thanks to you! I also really enjoy our interaction with my Blackfire, and I’m really happy whenever I see you on my dash!

@lucklessprincess: Such a great Jinx! I love your Jinx so much, and all those many headcanons you have, it’s amazing! Not to mention you also do such wonderful art, and have fascinating OCs, too! We haven’t really done any long-going interactions or anything (yet), but I don’t mind because I still really like to see whatever you put on my dash! You’re wonderful and one of the persons I definitely look up to!

@feistyfreckleface: I really like Anna! I liked her in the movie, and I like her even more through you! I’m not quite sure what happened to our thread, but it was no doubt a great one and Starfire was definitely happy to make such a wonderful new friend!

@firefavoring: I really like W.i.t.c.h. in general, and to have such a wonderful Taranee willing to follow me and interact with me makes me so happy! It’s always great to see you on my dash, and I very much enjoy to know that we’re mutuals!

@omamcri: I’m always keeping up with the Detective Conan manga (or Case Closed if that’s how it’s called where you are), whenever it comes out here I’m reading it as soon as possible! I haven’t watched the anime in a while, but nonetheless, I really like it and I very much enjoy the fact that a great Heiji follows me! I have no idea how a meeting would actually work if we ever were to interact, but I’m definitely not against it happening someday!

@grimmtime: Having a Grimm as an actual... uh, how do I say it, as an actual thinking being is such a interesting idea! While Starfire and Grimm maybe didn’t have the best start at their meeting, it was a very interesting and most enjoyable one!

@rosesofflame: A very interesting OC! I really like to watch you on my dash, and it’s making me feel even better to know we’re mutuals! I’m having much too big problems to actually approach people, otherwise I think I woud’ve had tried to start something with you a while ago already!

@littlestarmaiden: Another wonderful OC! I really like the concept, and from what I’ve seen on my dash of you I like your character as well!

@problem-free: Lion King! I can’t say I’d have watched it multiple times or can remember every detail of scenes of it or anything, but what I do know is that I enjoyed it very much and one of the things I remembered the most was Timon and Pumbaa! I’ve been quietly watching your blog for a while now already (I think it’s at least a few months that we’re mutuals already? Or if not then it at least feels like it), and in my opinion you’re doing a really amazing Timon!

@valieente: Meeting a talking cat has made Starfire extremely happy! Aside from that, I always liked Puss, and to then find one on here that’s doing such a good job RPing as him was wonderful! I’m really glad we met and I’m so happy to be able to interact with you! (I know you’re not really there at the moment but you made that post about planning to come back so I thought it’s alright to include you here too)

@archeroftheeast: Another one of the people I definitely look up to! I read almost everything I see on my dash that comes from you (this includes your other blogs I follow), and I always enjoy it! You’re such a great RPer and so much more, I’m very delighted to be good enough to be mutuals with you!

@finderofdeath: Such wonderful OCs! I really like the interaction that Star and Eath have, and your OCs are really great and interesting and I’m happy that we interact and are mutuals!

@tradicans: I hope you’ll feel better about things soon, and/or find more time for the things you want to do! I’m having somewhat the same problem and try to get to solving it so I very much understand why you’re not very active at the moment. That’s alright though, for I love our interactions and I definitely won’t mind waiting!

@avalanchiing: I don’t know anything about Lance, but from what I’ve seen on your blog I find him interesting!

@untouchable-lightning: I really enjoy our interactions! Star often tends to try and befriend villains, but it’s a bit different with those two I think because she doesn’t quite see Ariel as a villain. I like their relationship and the threads we have, so thanks for being mutuals with me!

@judasborn: I still can’t quite believe you’re following me, and even on Wildfire too! I really admire your blog, you’re such a wonderful Jericho and it always makes me happy to see you on my dash! I’ve also already learned a lot more about him than I knew before we became mutuals, all thanks to reading what you post! Also, I am aware you reblog memes from me sometimes, and I wanna say that it always makes me try to fight my shyness more to actually approach you! I haven’t been successful yet, but hopefully it’ll come someday.

@puffywarrior: Kirby is such a cute little thing, and you do him so well! I’m very happy to be mutuals with you, and if you want to, we should totally interact some time!

@xitch-bxy: I knew nothing about Klarion before finding your blog. I have never watched Young Justice, and I don’t know about the comics; so I can’t really compare to how he is anywhere else, but I really like your Klarion! And our (bit of) interaction was wonderful too, I’m happy to be mutuals with you!

@bxrdmom: What a wonderful character Arella is! I don’t know anything aside from her short appearance in the cartoon, but I always was interested in her nonetheless! You’re a great writer and it’s always nice when people take upon giving a smaller character more love, and from what I’ve seen you do so very well!

@microscopiic-abomination: Oh, how much Spongebob did I watch in earlier years? Quite a lot, actually, and your Plankton is so great! I enjoy seeing you on my dash and I’m thankful that we’re mutuals!

@mxnofmyxtery: I love our interactions! Every single one of them, they’re so great and offer such interesting adventures! Rex is a wonderful and fascinating character, and I so much like to see you appear on my dash!

@telekinctics: Again, I can’t really say I know much about your character. What I’ve seen so far, however, you’re a great writer and I like your character thanks to that; and you’re definitely a wonderful person as well, I really love seeing you on my dash!

@frostbitfun: I really liked Jack in the movie, and from what I’ve seen you do him so nicely! I like your blog very much, and I hope that I’m someday strong enough to push my shyness away and approach you for some kind of interaction!

@xenothiums: I really like your Red X! We haven’t interacted yet, but even without doing so I appreciate seeing your things on my dash! I like to read what you post, you do Red X nicely, and I’m glad that we’re mutuals!

@sewn-cutie: Oh, I love Clementine! And our interactions are so wonderful, not to mention that I absolutely adore your art and that you even make pictures for many of the people your little doll interacts with! You’re so wonderful, I can’t even properly word it! Thanks so much for being mutuals and interacting with me!

@nvertoolate: I don’t think I can really explain how thankful I am to have you as mutual. Our interactions are always so wonderful, and I like your Terra and the things you write so much, it’s just amazing! I don’t know what else to say here, I just hope that we will be able to keep interacting for a long time to come!

@blackfiire: Your Blackfire is amazing! I always enjoy to read the things you write, and I’m aware that we talked a bit once; I’m hopeful that someday I really will be able to send you something or use some other way to interact with you!

@peaceloveandmustard: One thing I’ll most likely not forget so soon will be the term Star-Sisters I’ve learned from you! I love the idea of using that to refer to all the Starfire RPers, and while I also have another Star-Sister which is simply because we both go by Star on here (see somewhere above if you wanna know who I mean), I really enjoy the idea and I’ll certainly remember this term! Aside from that, your Starfire is really great to see on the dash and I’m very thankful to be mutuals!

@mayhemforhire: I think more or longer interactions between us took place with your Ben, but I’m tagging this blog of yours because I’m seeing this one more often on my dash at the moment! I really enjoy our interactions, they’re always very entertaining and I’m glad that we happened to meet on here!

@autemiiisms: I’ve already mentioned twice that I liked W.i.t.c.h. very much when I was younger, and it’s just so wonderful to be able to relive this nostalgia by meeting ones that are willing to interact with me! You’re a great Will and I’m glad we interact!

@emoticlysm: You’re definitely one of those I admire! I know sometimes people don’t wanna hear that because they don’t feel they deserve it, but I just can’t not say it! You’re such a great Raven and I really enjoy seeing you on my dash; and everytime I’m once again aware of the fact that we’re mutuals I can’t quite believe it!

@ravagedglass: So, since I know next to nothing about the comics, I didn’t exactly know much about Rose either. I feel like I learned a lot already, thanks to you, and I really like your writing! I can’t really compare your way of writing her to any canon things, but I think you’re really wonderful at doing her!

@atrox-voluntas: I really liked our interaction, and am looking forward to more! From what I’ve seen, you’re a nice person and a good roleplayer and I’m very happy we’re mutuals and interacting!

@hopeherself: Madoka is such a wonderful character, and you do her very well! I enjoy seeing you on my dash, and the (bit of) interaction we had was great too!

@rain-wander: Technically we’re not mutuals but I still count it as such since I’m following your Raven and you follow back from the main blog. Our interactions are great, and I hope we’ll keep interacting for a while to come! You’re a good Raven and I’m happy to be able to RP with you!

@siilentiisms: Jericho is such a great character, I’m so happy to have him on my dash! (Technically even twice since I follow one other Jericho too, but that’s not the point right now) You’re really great and I enjoy to have you on my dash, I definitely like to read the things whenever you post something!

@xmemoriia: I think I have played MapleStory ages ago for a bit? Never really much though, and even for the bit that I played I can’t actually remember anything. So, I can’t say I know about Shade in any way aside from your blog, but from what I’ve read so far he’s a great character and I’m very interested in him! Also, can I mention just how impressed I’m always by people that do their own art for icons? You seem like a wonderful person and I’m delighted that we’re mutuals!

@tinkiisms: Such a wonderful Tinkerbell! I love all the nostalgia feels I get from having you on my dash, and I think you’re doing her very nicely! I love reading or looking at what you post, I’m very happy to actually be mutuals with you and even though I’m normally too shy to say it I hope there’ll be a way we will interact some time!

@thewitchofice: I’m currently trying to slowly catch up with my ‘Winx-knowledge’ by watching the episodes from where I stopped watching one per (almost every) day. But even without having seen every single episode there is, I’m certain you’re a great Icy! I’m glad we’re interacting, and while Starfire might not be very happy if she ever finds out that Icy doesn’t exactly have the best intentions, I’ll always be happy to be mutuals with you!

@otherworldlylightningbolt: I have learned so much about Kilowatt only by reading through your blog and the things you post! I really like him, and I enjoyed the interactions we had so far! Thank you!

@dutypatrols: I’ve always liked Robin in the cartoon, and you do him very well! We have only interacted (a bit) OOC as of yet, but I’m sure someday there’ll come more and I’m just very happy to know that the interest is mutual!

@rockcrushed: You are a very good Terra! I like to read your things, and I enjoy the fact that we’re mutuals! I hope we’ll be interacting someday, and until we are (or even if we won’t) I’ll happily look at your posts anyway!

@moonrisiing: Oh, oh, oh! I’m not even sure how to start. We had short interactions on a few of your blogs, and I loved every single one of them! Not to mention it’s so wonderful to talk to you OOC! I’m so happy to have met you on here and I’m very thankful for it!

@acrobaticism: From what I’ve seen, you’re a wonderful Robin, and I’m excited to know we’re mutuals! Someday I’ll be brave enough to actually approach you in some way to get an interaction going!

@spxder-head: I didn’t expect to ever be interacting with a Fang, but I really like it! You’re making him very interesting and I’m excited to see how our interactions will continue, both on here and with Blackfire!

@tyrantsiblings: Our interactions are so much fun! Star always loves to take care of animals, and if they’re rare (or should be extinct) that only makes it even more interesting! Your two rexes are so cute and fascinating and I love our things!

@scarabfused: I can’t say I know very much about Jaime/Blue Beetle, aside from that I have watched the recent TT movies. I really like what I know of his character so far, and seeing your things makes it even more so! Quite often when I see you post something I start to think about how they would meet in the verse of the cartoon (since I don’t do the movie as verse or anything), and I hope we’ll someday find out!

@nebulabeings: I have a big respect for people that are brave enough to actually put their OCs ‘out there’, open to see for everyone. Your OCs seem very interesting, andI’m pretty sure you’re a nice person too, so I appreciate to have you as my mutual!

@shogun--of--sorrow: We only recently became mutuals so I don’t think I can really say much yet. I don’t know about Samurai Jack, so I can’t really say anything about the fandom or my thoughts on your character. I’m certainly interested though!

@poutybatmavy: I really enjoyed the movies, and I’m very glad to be able to interact with a Mavis now! It’s been a joy so far, and I’m rather sure it’ll continue to be very entertaining, thank you for being mutual with me!

@fuckedluck: I can’t really say anything about your RPing for I don’t think I have seen any of it on my dash yet, but I always appreciate more Jinx’s (or more TT characters in general) to interact with and I hope we will someday!

@teentiitan: And another Robin! I feel like I’m following too many Robins xD Anyway! I’m excited to be mutuals with you and I hope we’ll interact some time!

If you aren’t on this list, I very much apologize. I didn’t manage to fend off my shyness entirely, so I left out a very few that I just couldn’t make myself actually tag. Then there are also quite a few I didn’t mention because I think/know they are the same person like one that I have tagged; and there’s of course the ones that tumblr simply made me miss! If you’re a mutual and not mentioned here, please forgive me for it! I value and appreciate you nonetheless!