#apologies for the long response time!

[burningcheese-merchant]

Alrighty. I hate saying this, but. I'm probably going to delete the ship discourse asks in my inbox. Too many in there now and my mind is too clear to want to answer them

I think we've all been harsh with each other recently. Shouldn't have had to sleep on that, shouldn't have taken me longer than a few minutes to realize that, but idk. I went to bed last night and woke up this morning and... remembered how old I am and that I have better things to care about lol. But seriously, this recent update has really gotten to people's heads, mine included unfortunately, so I think we all need to take a step back and reevaluate ourselves

To try to explain (not excuse) myself personally. I, my friends and acquaintances, and our little fan community have gotten so much harassment for so long that now that the story is sort of tipping in our favor, I felt... vindicated. TOO vindicated this time around lol. For years and years now we have all been viciously mocked, shunned, called misogynists, called abuse apologists, we've been told to kill ourselves, we've been told bad things should happen to our loved ones. I couldn't help but feel smug when episodes 7 and 8 dropped, and then episodes 9 and 10 pushed me into being legitimately petty and mean. Like, all of this harassment was already pointless, now it's even more pointless because BxA is canon. Sore winner, "they hated Jesus because he told the truth" type shit lol

But... That's dumb. All of this is dumb. They're just video game characters. I'm an adult with adult responsibilities lol. None of this is worth getting bent out of shape about, on any side. Nothing wrong with respectful conversation and debate, but it hasn't really been that this time around. It's been gloating. Teabagging. And that's not cool. So I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone with anything I've said. I'm happy about Eternalberry but I've gotten TOO happy haha. I've regained mental clarity and thus the realization that I've started becoming part of the problem. I'm genuinely sorry for that. I want to go back to regular dork levels. Being spiteful and petty sucks, even if it's "justified"

Since I feel bad for leaving those asks awaiting deletion, A) mea culpa mea maxima culpa to those who sent them, nothing against any of you I just want to put the discourse to rest, and B) they all more or less say the same things so I'll just go ahead and bullet point my responses:

TikTok is perhaps the worst social media app ever created, it is an actual blight on society to almost biblical proportions, you are a fool if you listen to anything anyone has to say on there, your first mistake was going there in the first place, Tiktok Delenda Est

Twitter is definitely the worst social media app ever created, it is a blight on society that John meant to record in the Book of Revelation but didn't know how to describe it properly because the internet didn't exist 2000-ish years ago, you are a fool if you listen to anything anyone has to say on there, your first mistake was going there in the first place, Twitter Delenda Est, let's all point and laugh at the Trump-Musk divorce instead

Hero/villain ships are as old as human civilization and fandom nerds today have gotten really uptight about them, it's dumb and honestly really bizarre considering how prevalent it is in almost every piece of media, if someone doesn't like the trope that's perfectly fine it's not for everyone it does get pretty dark but a lot of people seem to put on gestapo uniforms when they're brought up now and it's a waste of time and energy. No one is holding a gun to your heads you guys, you don't need to do it to anyone yourselves

It's nice that I've apparently managed to convince some people to be more open-minded about BxA and hero/villain shipping as a whole, welcome to the club glad to have you, I'm sorry you've had to see some of us do our "obnoxious clown" routine recently, don't worry I'm washing my makeup off rn

I'm disappointed but unsurprised that BxA fans have been getting death threats in places, unfortunately that's how it's always been and it will continue to be that way even if all 5 pairs marry and have sex onscreen. No amount of canonizing in the narrative will change some people's minds. No amount of reasoning or olive branches will make them realize how ridiculous they are. Just have to accept it and ignore them

Cookie Run Kingdom is Baby's First Fandom for a lot of people, and a lot of them are actual, literal children, so all the black and white thinking and lack of understanding and respect makes sense, sadly. This is why I put my age in my blog description haha

Rule of thumb for me personally is to just block people who post hate in ship tags tbh. Spare us both the trouble. I've only responded to one post ever, and it was because the person was asking an honest question in a reasonable way so I thought it was fine to engage. I'd rather not engage people who want to attack and not actually talk. Blocking does us both a favor, I don't have to see meaningless hate on my dash and in tags I follow and they don't have to see content about ships they don't like from me. Win-win

Now, with all that said, I want to say some things I've said before, but would like to reiterate loudly and clearly one more time:

You do not have to like Beast x Ancient. It's perfectly fine and reasonable if you don't. It's not for everyone. Whatever your reasons are, I believe and accept them. I post about them a lot because I love them a lot, and I like talking about things I like. I do my best to tag properly so my weirdo babble is easier to filter out. My posts are more or less just preaching to the choir, I think lol. It's fine if you don't like that, it's fine if you don't like BurningCheese or Eternalberry, it's fine if you don't like Beast x Ancient. I am not your mortal enemy if you don't like them. I'm happy to talk to and be friends with people who don't. I already do so often haha

Furthermore, I want you all to know that no matter what I say about ships I don't like, I don't care if you do like them. I am not out to get you for liking things I don't. Which dolls you decide you like to make kiss is not my problem. I am not your mother, I am not your dictator, I am not God. My opinions are just that, no one is obligated to listen to me or take anything I say to heart. Yes, there are ships I legitimately hate with a passion, but I do not hate the people who like them. Not at all. That's a stupid thing to dislike someone for. I talk to and am friends with lots of people who like things I don't, both on here and irl. The world gets really lonely really fast if you refuse to engage with people who don't march lockstep with you. Especially with regards to fucking Cookie Run lol

Let's all give this nonsense a rest now. This is dumb. I'm dumb. We're all dumb. Let's stop being dumb. I'm happy to coexist peacefully with others. We'll all live happier lives focusing more on things we love than things we hate

[d8tl55c]

me: waiting for shoe(s) to drop

Personified Alan Becker YouTube Icon: oh... buddy...

[queerliblib]

I have two questions!

1) I signed up for a library card a few months ago, but I haven't heard anything back. I've gotten emails from you, but nothing stating I was approved for a library card... what should I do...?

2) I really want to support you and other libraries, however I find rental times to be really restrictive (I'm not a very fast reader 99% perfect of the time. The time I read 4 books in a week was an outlier), would me renting ebooks through libby, but not reading them, be helpful to the library anyway? Or would I be effectively wasting licensing money?

hello! hmm, that is strange - I’m sure you’ve checked your junk mail, so the next thing to do is email librarian@queerliberationlibrary.org - that way we can do some cross-checking on our end to see if the account attached to your email went through or if it hit some kind of snag.

As to your second question, there are all sorts of licenses - some are the kind where we own it forever but only one person can read it at a time*, and others are the type where we pay X amount for Y checkouts, or X amount for 1 year and then re-purchase when it runs out. However, there’s literally no way for you to tell which is which as a library user. Generally speaking, I’d say don’t worry about it! high checkout rates are great for us, and we’re never going to know if you finished a book or not. Use your judgement if there’s a really long holds line perhaps, but otherwise, even if you only get to a few chapters, we hope you enjoy them <3

[cry-ptidd]

I got a currently unrelated but important and angst af question(s?);

I know you said that Jean didn’t know that the beast of gevaudan was his daughter Laura, but imagine if he did, before or after he ‘killed’ the beast. Can you imagine the raw heart ache and grief finding how that his baby girl was turned into a monster and (had to) killed her?

Also, if Jean and Laura somehow met in modern Hellsing, even for five minutes, what would be said between father and daughter?

Enjoy the pain ☺️

I'll add onto that, anon, and share some historical facts with you that make this situation even more painful!

According to sources (article in French citing Guy Crouzet), Chastel's signature doesn't appear on the Marin report written the morrow after the beast's death, the 20th of June 1767. In the article, they speculate as to why, considering it was very clear according to eye witnesses and the lord of Apcher. According to Crouzet, the hypothesis could be that he either wasn't invited to sign it or that he was, but refused to attend.

If we want to take this into Laura's story and canon, then the idea that Jean who is hailed as the hero of Gévaudan for killing the beast and whose signature on that report would've "hailed and justified his glory and exploit for centuries to come", refused to attend it. He knew how to write and read, everyone knew he was the one that fired the shot. Why wouldn't he come?

Of course, why wouldn't he come. He will be given money and his name will be remembered as the hero who slew the beast and ended its reign of terror. Except the beast had his daughter's eyes, the eldest daughter he hadn't seen in 9 years because of a single day where she went to herd cows in a clearing, when whatever the hell started to happen to her. He hadn't heard from her since, he didn't know what she became, if her affliction was cured, if she was taken care of. The daughter he knew as kind and obedient and devout and the sweetest and a bit naive child he proudly loved, then the worst thing happens to her and years later something similar to what she's seen, a "wolf-like creature" terrorizing the locals, starts to happen again.

And two years after the beast's continuous rampages, he finally meets it face to face, and it's unnervingly familiar.

He would barely have the time to even process what happened before it's torn up, and he'd recognize the awful monster he just shot was his daughter that he left in the care of holy men to cure her and she was supposed to be better so what the hell was that thing he just shot? Is that supposed to be what happened to his child? This creature, so hateful and plain ungodly, is what his little girl grew into?

And now he's invited to sign the Marin report to confirm that indeed he did shoot the beast. It's what he will be remembered for, for killing the monster that no one knows is his eldest daughter that "succumbed to an illness" nine years ago and he's later offered just 72 pounds for the life of his daughter. That's what she was worth, apparently.

It was also noted that the beast's body was very poorly embalmed after its recovery. I imagine that whatever they found - or whatever the dogs had torn up in Laura's stead - had a rough time. I think that if Chastel saw it here, he would've been thankful for everything to not recognize the dead eyes staring up at him.

[outlying-hyppocrate]

Dear Crispin: (A warning in advance as this will be long)

I write to you now at the edge of my consciousness, my body in a fugue state of transitional absentmindedness. Before long I will likely assume a different state, and as consequence lose my creative drive and passion for a short time. This is to say that I sympathise with your artist’s block, as something not so dissimilar blights me every few days.

Particularly, it centres around roughly a dozen individuals (separated into 3 stories) and their attempts to survive in this world. For the most part, this story and setting differs little from our own Earth, with the key difference of two things: the provable existence of the divine, and the existence of North and South Tasmia islands (existing in the stead of Australia).

These gods interact with the physical plane via two methods, each corresponding to their own methods of feeding. The gods grow in power as they are thought of more, growing in conceptual strength as they take up more space in the collective consciousness of mankind. So when they wish for good, consistent growth, they form contracts, granting mortals a fraction of a piece of a drop in their sea of power in return for a variety of sacrifices or rituals that bolster that god’s place in the common memory of humanity.

And when they are starved, seeking that rapid, growing, violent growth of fear and hatred. They create Saints, living, breathing conduits of their divine fury that render the earth asunder and fell cities in their footsteps. Both are methods of forcing more of humanity to think of them, and by cause grow in power, albeit one through love and the other through fear.

Gods exist for everything, hence their abundance. As Alek, a character in TLS once said,

“There is a god for everything. One for the chair your sitting on, one for the air you breath, one for the right root of your left upper premolar, like I said, for everything. As long as there is an idea for an object, like the idea that fire hurts, there is a god for it that can be worshipped and contracted.”

Furthermore, there exists the Lower Worlds, oft considered the realm of these gods, an infinite realm of infinite floors and no rules, each floor corresponding to a unique “frequency”, not unlike a radio, and each frequency applying to its given god.

But this very feeding method of the gods is the subject matter of my writing to you today, and explaining how it works. One of the many reoccurring concepts of TLS is the variety of explanations for these gods, how they so easily disrupt the laws of physics and why they function as they do.

Some argue that they are manifestations of some dormant force within the mind. Some argue that the Lower Worlds consist of a mirror matter, our minds paying off the entropic debt into this matter. Others that the gods are simply beings of a different dimension, poking their fingers in and spilling their rules into our own.

The issue is found, not in these solutions, but in the fact that each and every one of these interpretations works. They are all completely plausible explanations for every facet of the divine, each and every solution. This raises the question, which is the right one?

The answer, is all of them. You see, it is revealed late into the story that the Lower Worlds behave like quantum particles, their contents and rules existing in a superstate. If you are unfamiliar with the concept, it means that these worlds, and by extent the gods that are formed from them, are multiple things at once until observed, at which point they collapse into one possibility.

In other words, the Lower Worlds have no set rules, logic, or systems, only the ones we apply when we attempt to reconcile it. It is an amorphous sea of possibilities, collapsing into whatever form we grant it.

Like a liquid, it fills the container it is in, morphing to whatever people consider it to be. This is why the Lower Worlds lack the logic and reason of our world, for so many have differing views on its functions and logics, resulting in an ostensible lack of order.

This is why every solution to the gods works. This is why gods are intrinsically linked to concepts and how we apply to objects. This is why gods can so easily ignore our rules.

This dimension is one of undefined energy and possibility, a sea of potential superstates and wavelengths, collapsing in the exact moment a link between idea and thing is formed into one constant state, that state being a god.

When a god, or concept it thought of, it expands the definition and dimensions of that concept, granting it a “larger container” for it to inhabit, and by consequence granting it greater power.

If you link the ideas of fire and pain, as one so often does, a new god is birthed, one of painful flames. As more people grow to fear and love this god, more conceptual “mass” is granted to it, more access to the unending undefined energy within the Lower Worlds, expanding its reach into the infinite, explaining how they feed.

Apologies for both the length and strangeness of this rambling, as I had written this after many a month of conceptualising, and desperately desired some form of sharing this work of mine with a fellow mind.

Kind regards, Valerie

(PS: I truly pray non-religiously to whatever limbo of superstate energies hold power in our world that you may be free from that cursed block, and that the waters of creativity my flow in your fields once more)

dearest valerie,

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Mr Gatto, is there anything you miss about sharing the lab with Luca?

There are some, but nothing Snow White hasn't achieved yet...

[javierduffy]

Well... after putting it off for 2 days I finally did Horsemen Apocalypses :(

Gods. This game is all about missed chances and could-have-beens. Not a single character is unscathed. Even those that make it out alive only have bittersweet endings. I hate it here (affectionate)

2 days … you’re so brave …. one time, i dropped rdr2 for an entire year specifically to avoid horsemen, apocalypses LMFAO it was when my hyperfixation for the game started up again this time that i had no choice but to do it so i could keep playing 💔

my condolences either way, i think it’s my least favourite mission of the whole game. it makes me nauseous to think about, nonetheless play.

i think red dead redemption 2 is about love, but grief is love with nowhere to go, and this game has such a beautiful, gut wrenching way of exploring that via young, essentially plot-irrelevant characters and their subsequent demises (regarding the “could-have-beens”). i don’t know if i agree that it’s about missed chances, though … in a way, i see what you mean … but to me, i think the vdl’s lived their way, and died their ways, but at the root of it all, it was love that saved them for so, so long. most of them didn’t belong anywhere else, and before dutch went crazy and led them awry, a lot of them were genuinely not too poorly off when they ended up following him (see people like javier, lenny, tilly, reverend, etc. people who literally would have died (or worse) otherwise. also, i am a truther that dutch genuinely had all of their best interests at heart prior to micah, despite his preexisting ego. it was simply his ego that ended up being their downfall.). they rode hard and they died for it, but they did it for love, and as … unsatisfactory as nearly everyone’s endings are, i don’t think all that loving was in vain. it saved john, abigail, and jack- and arthur, too, in it’s own way. it saved tilly and trelawny as well. for them, literally. everyone else, it saved every day that they rode their rough lives, because it gave them something to live for.

you’re absolutely right though that no one left unscathed, and that most of their endings are almost nothing but bittersweet. rockstar has hatred in their heart and believes that sharing is caring 💔 i would love a dlc where everyone makes it out and is happy and peeling mangos in tahiti or something or other but i know in my heart that it wouldn’t even feel right 💔 i, too, hate it here 💔💔💔

regarding kieran, he is absolutely wasted potential in a meta sense LOL rockstar did genuinely waste him, i feel like. we already know that he was meant for more, and who knows how much more that was, but he of all characters i believe was almost completely wasted, in the end. which sucks !!!!! i could spin a tale about how he was saved by love every day prior to his death as well (which is true. especially because he is explicitly noted to be particularly gentle, meaning he loved the hardest out of all of the men in the gang, in a way. love, for kieran duffy, is an indestructible part of his being. despite it all, it’s his bleeding heart that keeps him living, even in the most miserable of circumstances.) but since he literally was involved in a ton of scrapped material, i will bitch and moan quite readily about the expanse of his “missed chances”. i’ll spare you, though. just know … i understand … i get it ….. truly, i do …..

[sanctified-sanctuary]

Hiiii apologies for the sudden hiatus, it will happen again 😅, I was able to get my software reinstalled so I can get back to editing my icons and such though thank god <3

[dandyshucks]

me waking up at 6am this morning and immediately having the thought "maybe Guz still gets angry a lot because strong emotions are difficult if not impossible to control esp if its rooted in abuse trauma BUT he learns how to apologize, and thus - especially in the beginning - he would lash out as an automatic response but quickly realize what he's doing and apologize for it and we'd move on and be okay" like it had been beamed into my brain from some divine source.

also junebug (waves. thats literally just me.) would have to do their own hard work to learn to not automatically fawn when someone starts seeming the littlest bit potentially displeased or unhappy (because that is unhealthy for all parties involved). they'd BOTH be putting in the work to make it work !!!!!! 🎉

[bluejaybytes]

💘🍛 I like both of these. What's most important to your oc (of choice but I'm thinking of Maggie), and what their usual dinner looks like <3

Hiiiiiiiii <3

💘 HEART WITH ARROW — what and/or who do(es) your oc consider the most important to them?

Maggie has sooo few people she's close with BUT the people she IS close with she is VERY close with, the three main ones would be her brother, Hawke, her Girl Best Friend (come to your own conclusions on this one, they'll never have an actual discussion about it), Jenna, and one of the ghosts that hangs around her, Opal. Hawke she was always fairly close with as a kid, while he never actually believed her when she would talk about the ghosts and their various shenanigans, he was always one of her strongest and most reliable supporters, and would claim to believe her. She knows now that he never actually believed her (She figured that out as a preteen), but she definitely appreciates the fact he was still always there for her and standing up for her when she'd get talked over by others. When she wakes back up after her murder, finding where he lives is one of her first priorities, because she's basically having like a million crises at once and figures he's the person she trusts must to be able to help her.

Paragraph break because I'm going on longer than anticipated WHOOPS. For Jenna, she's close with her for several reasons. The first part is... honestly just a bit of necessity. Maggie's lost and scared and has no idea what's going on, and Jenna's the first person to approach her and is someone willing to try and help her figure out what's going on, during a situation where anyone else would've just forced her to go to a hospital (Which... to be fair Jenna definitely should've suggested they go to some sort of medical help, given that she was passed out in the middle of a field and wakes up talking about being murdered). Outside of necessity, however, she and Jenna just like... basically instantly latch onto each other. They're frankly both a bit obsessive with each other because they both... really don't have anyone else? Once the plot ends and their lives calm down they'll get some other friends and their dynamic will become more sustainable longterm, but in the moment they've only got each other and GODDAMN do they have each other. Jenna's like 90% of the reason Maggie wants to actually take care of herself, because if she's not doing it, Jenna just does it for her, and she doesn't like feeling like a burden, even if Jenna's doing it willingly and without viewing as such. Their bond is so largely based on their willingness to support each other, so. yknow <3

For Opal, she's known Maggie since she was only a few months old! Ghosts took notice of Maggie's ability to see them LONG before Maggie would be learn this was Not normal, AKA, as a several month old baby, she'd track ghosts with her eyes and try and interact with them like any other person, which alerted the ghosts to the fact she could actually see them. This made her essentially a bit of a celebrity/VERY weird and kinda creepy to the ghosts, so word of the Magic Baby Who Can See Dead People spread, and tons of local ghosts would hang around just to see her themselves. Opal ALSO heard of her, and she just generally loves kids, so she went to go see baby Maggie, only to realize that oh man. This is going to be. a tough life for this kid. So she takes it upon herself to watch over her, and chases away other ghosts who bother her so that Maggie doesn't have to spend her entire life being harassed by ghosts. Their dynamic is a bit weird throughout Maggie's life, as Opal tends to be a bit overbearing, and also tends to talk over the living people Maggie's trying to talk/listen to, making it difficult for her to concentrate, but as frustrating as Maggie finds her to be, they still are very close, Opal's someone Maggie can be actually open with, and someone who is always trying to look out for her and protect her any way she can. Their dynamic gets WAY more strained after Maggie's death but this is already a VERY long ramble and that would involve a LOT more so I'll save that for another day

🍛 CURRY AND RICE — what does your oc's typical dinner look like? do they usually eat dinner?

Bad it looks bad.

Okay the actual answer is more nuanced <3 Prior to her murder, Maggie was still living at home (She was only 17 and had JUST graduated highschool, graduating a year early), so her typical dinner was just... whatever her mom made! Nothing too fancy, just pretty generic dinner items. Maggie's never really had much of an appetite, but also stayed up extremely late every night, so typically it'd be eating like half the normal portion of whatever dinner was -> stay up until 2am -> Get hungry and finish off the other half of dinner -> stay up until [god knows how late]. Her favorite meal is probably stew, though while she is an extremely picky eater, of the foods she's okay with she doesn't tend to have really any standout favorites.

Once she wakes back up after her murder and has to care for herself, her dinner is... crackers. As mentioned, she's an extremely picky eater, but she also has no skill in cooking and is also just deeply depressed, so she can't really give the effort to care about it enough to want to eat properly, so she just. doesn't! However, once Jenna starts hanging around more, specifically hanging around for long enough stretches of time to see Maggie's abysmal self care and eating habits, THEN Maggie's typical dinner stops being "crackers" and starts being whatever Jenna makes her. This is typically things like easier to prepare meals like mac n cheese, but Jenna always adds things to them that aren't included to make them nicer, so it's always more than just "box of kraft mac n cheese", its got some added vegetables and meat added in there to make it better!

Once Maggie actually starts trying to learn how to cook herself, her typical dinner consists of one single bite of whatever she tried and promptly failed to make, and then a plate of Whatever Jenna Made Instead. She's trying her best but oh boy. its not great.

[naw-naw-honeyimgood]

I have noticed a recurring theme in the characters I like that they're far too nice and forgive people who've hurt them far too easily. "It's fine" "I never blamed you" "There's nothing you need to apologize for"

meanwhile I'm two steps behind them snarling over their shoulder going "c'mon let me beat them up please it'll make me feel SO much better and they DESERVE it"

[shivunin]

👩‍💻🎶 for the snippet asks :3

Yay! Thank you so much!!! c:

Whiplash again. Sorry! I am doing them in reverse order so the sweet one can be first.

(Snippet asks)

🎶 share a happy moment. ANY happy moment. You must have ONE.

“Indeed,” Fenris said, stooping to retrieve the discarded spoon from the floor. “Your mother will insist on a bath if I do not wipe you clean.”

Leander frowned, his fine little eyebrows drawing in close. It wasn’t an especially effective expression when one half of his mouth was still occupied by chewing his biscuit to bits. 

“You are not fond of them; I know,” Fenris told him with a faint smile. “It is entirely out of my hands.” 

Leander pulled his meal from his mouth and babbled, gesturing broadly with both crumb-streaked palms. Fenris nodded along, reflecting on how strange it was that it sounded more and more like he was holding a conversation every day. Soon—any day now—he would actually begin to talk to them. Fenris couldn’t wait. Leander was nearly a year old now, and every day seemed to bring out new parts of his personality. 

“Thank you for telling me,” he told Leander, and reached for the dampened cloth he’d prepared ahead of time. “Are you finished?” 

“Gwehm,” Leander said firmly, and pushed the mess of crumbs away from him. 

His son squirmed when Fenris reached to clean his hands (hands first, always; he’d learned this the hard way) and chunks of food stuck to his face and pale curls. While he wiped the babe clean, Fenris told Leander about what they were going to do next, about playing in the snow outside as soon as he’d been thoroughly dried and bundled up, about how they would read a book together later.

He was so busy making sure Leander didn’t manage to stick his hands back in the mess on the tray that he didn’t notice when Hawke stepped into the room behind him. Leander, of course, spotted her at once. 

“Mehhh,” he said, clapping and lifting his arms.

👩‍💻 share a snippet that you worked on for a long time or struggled with

(this still isn't done T.T)

Something brushed her shoulder, and Maker but if it had been anyone else in the entire world she might have wondered what it could be. But—it was Fenris. She knew his touch as she knew no one else’s, so she recognized it at once. 

“Don’t touch me,” Hawke snapped, jerking away. 

Fenris snatched his hand back at once, but she wanted him to hurt. No—she wanted to hate him. It would be so much easier if she could just hate him. 

“You are a monster,” she spat, and he recoiled from her, his face gone to stone. “Say it, Fenris. Tell me I’m a monster.”

Why was it so cursed quiet? She could hear her own blood in her ears, in her throat, throbbing in her hands. She flexed them wide at her sides, flexed them until her fingers ached. 

“I am no better than Merrill. If anything, I am worse. I have killed twice as many as she has. I have killed for money, for rumors, for little provocation at all. I am good at it. I like it. I use my magic to kill people and I like it. So—say it, Fenris. Tell me I’m a monster. I am everything you hate—I know you’re thinking it. You’ve been thinking it all along—I should’ve just believed you the first time you said so. It would’ve saved us both a lot of trouble, wouldn’t it?” 

He was angry about everything else; damn his eyes, she wanted him to yell at her for this, too. She wanted him to do something. Fenris stood still instead, hands curled at his sides, his face stark.

The wind went from her all at once, her anger turning inward. This wasn’t her; or rather, this was the part of herself she kept very carefully away from the rest of them. And what had it gained her to hurt him now? Nothing.

Nothing at all.

[dykeyote]

relistening to tower of terry and matt says “yeah! let’s drown those rons” i had a Reaction.

that either aged really poorly or really well i’m not sure which

HELP . god bless .....

[3ldrtchh0rr0rsys]

𝙃𝙞𝙞 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨!

𝙈𝙖𝙮 𝙄 𝙖𝙨𝙠 𝙞𝙛 𝙈𝙞𝙡𝙤'𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩?.... 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚...

- 𝙈𝙧 𝙎𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙥.

Milo's doing alright, we believe he was most likely just overwhelmed so we're trying to keep him offline when we can. Turns out jumping off the deep end after being dormant for a year and a half is overwhelming, who would've guessed. I did. And voiced that concern. Regardless, thank you for checking up on him, it's very much appreciated. It just may be a while, and by a while I mean Micheal and Cooper are betting on a year minimum for a full adjustment period so, in the words of Klown, "It's gonna be a hot minute. People are gonna forget about his existence". I understand how that could be disappointing for you especially, but it's a long conversation that is absolutely not being tackled at three in the morning for my own sanity. My apologies, truly. I'm sorry.

-Rex

[psuejo]

❥ ceo!nanami’s camgirl gone corporate!

prequel.

you got him good, he’ll admit. hiding your face, occasionally wearing wigs on stream like you’ve dyed your hair, not often bringing up your personal life unless it’s silly, menial anecdotes.

kento would’ve never known it was his pretty little secretary fucking herself on live twice a week and not some random girl who looked similar, had he not ran his annual background check and found your email linked to that porn account.

a rookie mistake, truly.

“dirty girl,” he grunts, one thick hand pressing right into the small of your back, keeping your squirming form bent over his desk. “having a side job like that...”

your already-short skirt is rucked up and over your ass, the fabric of your pantyhose and black panties torn to shreds as kento bullies his cock into you.

and, god, you’re just as soft and warm and tight as he imagined, walls clamping down on him and sucking him in like a black hole. no matter how many times you’ve fucked yourself on your fingers or dildos, it’s nothing in comparison to the feeling of your boss stuffing you full.

just big and girthy — a monster of a cock on a man that you’d thought was average. it stretches you out, forces your insides to mold to the perfect shape of him and leaves you keening, nails biting into the wood of the desk.

“do i not pay enough?” kento delivers a swat to your tender cheek, and you jolt, another glob of slick gushing around his length. “is the work i give you too demanding? are you thinking about quitting?”

as if he’d ever let you do that.

you frantically shake your head, a moan crumbling in your throat with a particularly hard thrust. “n-no, ungh!”

he frowns, tilting his head to the side, and those thin wire glasses slip down the high bridge of his nose. “so what—” smack! “could’ve possibly provoked you—” smack! “to fuck yourself on camera for others to see, hm?” smack!

a sob claws its way free, and every harsh spank against your ass sends a delicious tingle to your messy cunt, one that has your eyes sliding all the way back in your skull.

how can your boss, someone so reserved and cordial, be so... cruel?

but, fuck, if it doesn’t get you soaking wet, and kento knows that too, can hear every lewd, wailing squelch of your pussy. sounds even better in person, he thinks.

“mmngh, i— i’m sorry!” an apology you both know is halfhearted. “pleaseee, sir!”

... sir?

oh, that makes his cock throb, and you can feel every pulse like it’s in time with his heartbeat. that honorific has always sounded so sweet coming from you normally, but now? with your voice hoarse and breathy and whiny?

it’s fucking heaven.

(but he doesn’t miss how you avoided the question.)

kento ups his pace to something brutal, a relentless in-out, in-out, in-out that snatches the air from your lungs and the sense from your mind.

“y-you’ve been fucking with me,” he snarls, low and mean. “acting like some simple corporate girl by day just to slut yourself out online at night. comin’ in here with short skirts that barely pass the dress code a-and low-cut blouses. hah— if i didn’t know any better, darling, i’d say you wanted me to... to find out.”

maybe you did. maybe you knew who anonworkaholic was all along, maybe you used that specific email to make your account on purpose, maybe you came just a little harder during streams because you knew kento was watching, was fisting that heavy cock and cumming right along with you.

so what?

it worked, right?

your lack of a proper response (moans and pants don’t count, after all) tells kento everything he needs to know, along with the helpful noises from your weak hole.

“o-oh, i know she did,” kento coos, and it takes you far too long to realize he’s not talking to you. “know she wanted me to see her on camera, rubbing that needy clit—” his hand slips between the two of you and does just that, swirling quick, decimating circles, “— and whining like she was, mm, in heat.”

your orgasm sneaks up on you, blinding and beautiful, every nerve in your body on fire. your sloppy pussy spasms around his girth, a broken mewl of his name leaving your open, drooling mouth as you drench his desk and whatever paperwork that’s been pushed to the floor.

“f-fuck, nanami!”

his pupils are blown, pitch-black practically engulfing all of that typical soft brown as he watches your body tremble. you sound so pretty, look so pretty, are so pretty.

it’s a miracle kento pulls out in time to spurt thick ropes of cum all over your back with a long groan, lashes fluttering while his balls empty themselves. this is the hardest he’s cum in a while, but it’s like they say: nothing compares to the real thing.

everything in his office is a mess — documents ruined, desk slick and marked by your nails, chair knocked onto the ground, paperweight shattered. yet he grabs some tissues and cleans you up, wiping his seed from your skin and smoothing your skirt back down before he leans into your ear.

“invite me on your stream next time, mm? won’t tell a soul.”

after all, that’s both of your dirty secrets now.

[ohyespotatous]

Hmm... but real friendship shouldn't be measured by those things, right? 🤔

I really appreciate it when my friends respond quickly. It makes me feel valued, and I think they must be highly efficient communicators. But we all have different commitments and need personal time too :)) I think real friends with healthy and secure attachment styles should be able to honor each other's boundaries and well-being :) 💗

2024.12.28

I've been thinking a lot about friendship. I'm trying to move away from immediate communication and general constant availability as much as I can given that it has a disastrous effect on my well being. However, that has lead me to reconsider how I approach friendships. Given the dominance of instant communication, it seems inevitable that much of our friendship is measured by response-times and general availability. I don't have clear definite new metrics to judge friendships, especially given that I have been considering whether I'd consider any of my presumed friendships as such, but it's been a good exercise to reconsider what I value in friendship, what I offer in friendship and what I require in a friendship.