#apex funny

[revenant-dumpster-fire]

END HIM, REV

I'M SICK OF HIM

(the only good episode I ever saw was the Mister Frog interview and we all know how that went)

I don’t think the interview will end well…

[boucoupdinkydau]

It’s hard being an apex predator.

[cry0ffear]

whats happening in my head rn

[naffeclipse]

I've been musing over a few thoughts inspired by this ask about a mafia-ish style of Apex Polarity without it being too close to Pearl Eye, and after watching a few videos of Orcas hunting their prey (which included dolphins), landed on a sort of Mafia inspired Apex Polarity AU

Also not to add another Y/N to Orclipse's growing collection but this Y/N is a white-beaked dolphin. Look! They're so beautiful!

Sirens are cunning, brutal, and take everything with teeth and claws. The strongest kill and maim at a whim. As a siren who's not particularly strong, though incredibly agile, with a tail streamlined and dark gray with white patches, fins curved and mostly black, you're somewhere at the bottom. You're doing your best to survive and avoid trouble. You pick your battles and you pick your escapes, and most importantly, you stay alive.

But then you do something really stupid: you venture where you shouldn't have.

You don't usually swim so far up north but you're hungry, and the thought of a few tasty squids distracts you from the silent waters and vast, blue emptiness. You realize a bit too late that you're not the only one hunting.

You catch the first orca siren in the distance as a dark figure, and then another. Two who immediately cut through the water, charging straight for you like shadows. Though you turn tail and bolt, you quickly spot them in the corner of your vision. They easily keep pace, their size and strength overwhelming as they flank you on both sides, wide grins flashing their deadly teeth. You can hardly look at the mismatched color of their eyes as you dodge and weave, diving down only to be cut off by one with midnight blue colors at the tip of his flukes, and shooting off to the left just to almost be snatched by the black-bone claws of a siren with bright yellow fins framing his head.

They're toying with you. You know that for a fact in how they just barely keep back, corraling you onwards, draining your already spent energy, and picking at your panicking pulse. You have no choice but to avoid the edges of their jaws and the tips of their talons, and swim in the direction they want.

You near a field of ice floes floating on the water, and though you cut into the jagged structures dipping into the sea, the orca sirens never lose you. A desperate need for air pushes you onward. One small drop of hope still burns in your chest. Despite the aching of your muscles, you steal a gulp of oxygen and dip back down once more, charging away—

Only to run smack into a third orca siren.

This one grabs you, his burning red and orange colors filling your vision. The other two orcas join to help their kin keep you in place long enough for you to truly regret ever venturing here. Between the three of what you can only assume are brothers, hands hooked over you shoulders, claws clutching your wrists, and palms pressing into your hips, you're a fish caught in a net.

You brace for a voilent end. It never arrives. Instead of digging into your sweet meat, the sirens offer you a deal. The tips of sharp fingertips trace your jawline and the soft inside of your arms and down your slick tail while they explain.

You keep watch for human ships and report back when they're getting close, and in exchange, you get the best food you can imagine, the entire Arctic Ocean to swim, and anything else you'd like. The best benefit? You're under their protection. Of course, they expect utter loyalty from you. You are no one else's. Failure to devote yourself to this work and the brothers would mean a grisly fate, but hey, you're nothing if not eager to not be torn apart. So you agree.

You have a few questions about this whole arrangement, struggling to understand why they, powerful orca sirens, bother with a smaller fish like you when they could rip you limb from limb and be done. What's with the human ships? Why task you to this? Are you just fodder so they can keep their fins nice and unscabbed? They reassure you that they'll explain in due time (the sunny one booping your nose, much to your chagrin), but for now, all you know to know is that the human ships are a problem, and you are their solution for it. You've never really encountered humans before, but they've never really encountered sirens, or so you thought.

The burning red one lets you go, but you don't slip away too far before he tugs on your flukes and tells you to follow him. It's not a request. The darker blue one leaves for a moment, jetting away as the other two guide you to a nice resting place on an icy shore. They introduce themselves, and then their brother reappears with a squid in hand, half dead, and an insistence that you eat—they could tell during the chase that you didn't have all your energy.

And that's how you unwittingly join a very powerful pod of orca brothers who may or may not be teasing and taunting you simultaneously.

[agilident]

hi been a bit. still kicking unfortunately but heres him again :] + closeups if u wanted that

[bubblingdrfizz]

taco from inanimate insanity but instead of snapping at the end of season one she actually kept up her persona so she could live in hotel oj. it's alright at first, but she's so fed up with acting dumb that it's really hard for her to stay in character and it starts to stress her out. one day taco gets sick or smth. she sneezes and lets out the most british "BLOODY HELL." ever. it's so weirdly out of character but in character at the same time that it's not even questioned beyond a simple "what" so taco was just able to live the rest of her life in hotel oj with her actual personality without needing to explain anything

[engel-hageshii]

Someone left their orca in the tub for too long~

Another attempt at drawing orca!Eclipse doing silly mermaid poses~

@naffeclipse ~

[bottlehawk]

vriska with literally any homestuck character is always the funniest dynamic. vriska is like money in that she brings out the worst in people and whatever weird traits were already there become amplified ten fold from her enabling you to outright making you worse. platonic. romantic. victim. weird roommate. next door neighbor. it doesn't matter what the relationship is. the closer she is in your vicinity the more suddenly everything becomes much more interesting about your life

[toastbutteregg]

me in apex and overwatch when someone is toxic to me or my teammate

[shvdowsdrowned]

Oh my god

[revenant-dumpster-fire]

Everyone look at this piece of artwork that a true, not-AI-art-stealing-garbage-codebase, bonafide computer error has given us!

🔊 (Volume on) 🔊

Bless you for capturing this beautiful moment

Lmao

[dr1nkybird]

my body is a machine that draws august brinkman poorly and puts him in situations

[kaiserouo]

(prev)

silent lightbearers & talkative ghosts

[naffeclipse]

Naff! I come to you again, with more humpback whale fun facts.

Humpbacks do something called a heat-run. This is a mating behavior where the female challenges the males to a race by hitting the surface of the water with her pectoral fin. There can be 10,15 or even more males all vying for the female. The goal is to be at the head of the lead for the longest.

Anything and everything is allowed, hitting with the fluke, creating bubble streams to disorientate, head-butting, and whatever else they can do to be at the front of the race. Serious injuries are almost unavoidable.

You can probably imagine the mayhem and chaos that happens when multiple 50-ton giants fight for one female. These races can last up to two or more hours and there is only one lucky guy at the end of it.

Orca! Eclipse better be very grateful that he doesn't have to fight for his very large finances.

Babe!!

That's so fascinating and chaotic! I think there would be a few races happening because of others in Humpback Y/N's pod, and Y/N would slip away from the churning waters to go pester Eclipse.

He knows of such things--and might seek out Y/N away from the challenge to ensure they're not involved with one. So, it ends with the two crossing paths and both playing koy about why they both happen to be swimming in the other's direction--but they get into a scuffle over a tasty squid and all is as it was.

[peratzatha]

2019 me vs 2024 official art..,,uncle rick….i see you are a fan of my vision 👐

for legal reasons this post is a joke please don’t come at me

[mediumsage]