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giveafike · 1 month ago

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in honour of bens bday u should do a fic where he gets a special bday present iykyk!?!😉😉

TLDR: You surprise Ben on his bday with his fave present ever (you)! DW for my soft girls, I'll be posting a SFW alphabet after this

Word count + info: 3.5k! Lwky way longer than smut I'd normally write, but it's for a special occassion (I had this up my sleeve for some time). Dialogue (sex talk,.).

Warnings + Content Ahead: NSFW - Minors DNI!! Sweet loving unprotected sex, hickeys, oral sex ... erm yeah!

Azzie Notes ✚: I wasn't gonna let u guys go hungry on a day like today! I also wasn't about to proofread and post a NSFW fic in public lmao, so sorry for the wait!! Also, ANON!!! they say great minds think alike, I was gonna surprise u guys for today w this since we're all so desperate rn, anyways, happy birthday to us!! (im so sad he didnt win today, I hope hes ok tho. I also he posts for his bday so I have new pics to drool over)

P.S this cake in the middle made me YELP laughing, I had to include it. I love Ben's barely visible moustache too, pls am i feral or... 🤭🤭 SEND REQUESTS!!

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Shanghai - B.T.S.

You had been planning this for weeks, months actually, sacrificing your time, saving up, and ensuring every detail was perfect for Ben’s 22nd birthday. It wasn’t just another day; it was his day, and you would make sure it was unforgettable.

Of course, he didn't take a break, not even on his birthday. So naturally, you found yourself flying into Shanghai the afternoon before his birthday. You packed last minute but you knew exactly what to do when you got there. His dad, Bryan, and his personal trainer had been in on the whole surprise from the get-go, helping ensure everything would go smoothly. They were kind enough to organise and send you a spare key to Ben's apartment so you could set up his surprise while he spent the early hours preparing and playing on the courts. Ben was already deep into his routine for the Rolex Masters, completely oblivious to your plan. They had arranged for you to sneak into Ben’s apartment while he was out, leaving you the whole morning to prepare for his surprise.

The morning of his birthday, after Ben left for training and his match, you got to work. You had one mission: make everything perfect before he returned. With the help of the chef and a few decorators, who arrived early to set up while you were out, the apartment was being transformed into a celebration space. They handled the food, decorations, and clean up so you could focus on the rest of the surprise.

You went straight from the apartment to the bustling streets of Shanghai, making sure to get everything in one sweep. First, you found a shop that sold the most beautiful silver chain, sleek, simple, and elegant. The links were subtly engraved with the coordinates of the place of your first date. It was a personal, thoughtful gift, something he could wear daily without it being too flashy.

Next, you picked up the balloons, large, metallic letters that spelt out “Happy 22nd Birthday Ben!,” as well as gorgeous bouquets of red roses and white lilies, his favourites, he loved how they smelt. As you walked through the shops, your heart raced. You smiled, imagining his reaction when he saw the apartment transformed, he didn't even know you were here.

Your final stop was a chic lingerie boutique. You browsed through delicate fabrics before choosing a stunning set of black lace lingerie, seductive and understated, the perfect surprise for later that evening. With everything in hand, you rushed back to the apartment, anticipation buzzing in your veins.

Once the chef and decorators finished setting up and left, you had the apartment to yourself. The balloons were floating in the living room, the roses perfectly arranged in tall vases strewn around. The air was filled with the scent of candles and the delicious meal waiting to be heated up later, roasted duck breast, truffle mashed potatoes, and a rich red wine reduction. The cake sat in the fridge, waiting for its moment to shine with the cheeky message iced on top: “Happy Birthday! I love you for you, but that D is an amazing bonus too”. You checked on it and giggled to yourself before you headed to get ready.

You took your time getting ready. First, you showered and did your hair in soft waves that tumbled down your back. Your makeup was flawless, subtle with a bold touch of a deep vampy lipstick. You slipped into the black lace lingerie, feeling a rush of excitement as the delicate fabric hugged your skin. You took your time admiring it on you, knowing it would only get seconds of appreciation before it's torn off. Over it, you put on the gown you had chosen for the evening, a long, sheen golden dress that was tied at the neck and shimmered as it draped down to your ankles. It was backless, elegant yet sensual, teasing the bra wire at the back and you couldn’t wait for Ben to see it.

With everything in place, you received the text from Bryan:

Ben’s on his way back. He’ll be there soon.

It was time.

You lit the candles around the apartment, their warm glow casting a flickering, romantic light across the room. Then you dimmed the overhead lights, giving the space an intimate ambience. You hopped up onto the kitchen island, tucking your feet under you, the golden dress pooled as you propped yourself up with the cake on your lap, carefully placing and lighting candles. The scent of flowers and the flicker of candlelight filled the air as you waited, your heart beating faster with every passing minute.

Ben’s footsteps grew louder as he approached the door, but your heartbeat drowned them out. You took a deep breath, adjusting your posture on the counter, the lit candles casting a soft glow over your golden gown. The cake on your lap, with its cheeky message, waited for his reaction.

The door clicked open, and Ben stepped inside, in his shorts and t-shirt, looking completely unprepared for what greeted him. His eyes scanned the room in a quick sweep, first the balloons and decorations all over, then the flowers, the candles, before landing on you. His jaw dropped, eyes wide in surprise as his bag fell to the floor with a thud.

“Happy Birthday!” you said, hopping off the counter and sauntering towards him, the cake held out for him to blow out the candles. The flickering flames illuminated his expression, pure, genuine shock.

“Holy-" he began, running a hand through his tousled hair. "You're here? In Shanghai?”

You grinned, holding up the cake just beneath his chin. “Surprise, baby.”

He walked over to you in slow strides, shock written all over, converting into a big smile. Ben holds your face, kissing your forehead tenderly before he glances from you to the cake, his smile growing. Then he read the message, written in smooth icing: Happy Birthday! I love you for you, but that D is an amazing bonus too.

Ben chuckled, shaking his head, his voice rich with amusement. “Of course you would write that.”

You winked. “Come on, make a wish, birthday boy. The candles are melting”.

He blew out the candles, his eyes never leaving yours, his intensity heightened by the dim lighting. The last flicker of the candles faded, leaving the two of you in a soft, romantic glow.

You set the cake on the island and looked up at him expectantly with a cheeky smile. “So? What did you wish for?”

Ben tilted his head, his gaze lingering on you for a long moment. “I’m not supposed to tell you, right?” His voice dropped lower as he leaned in, lips brushing your ear. “But if I’m honest, I already got my wish”.

Your cheeks flushed at the warmth in his voice as he planted a kiss on your ear to your cheek, and you laughed, brushing him off playfully. “Smooth, Shelton. Real smooth.”

You beckoned him to take a seat at the dinner table while you plated up dinner. Ben’s gaze followed you as you turned to grab the plates, his eyes catching the thin strap of your lacy bra that peeked out from the backless gown. “Wait a second,” he said, voice thick with admiration. “What are you hidin' under here?".

You smirked over your shoulder, sliding the plated food onto the table. “No spoilers! That's for later”

Ben bit his lip, shaking his head, but the playful gleam in his eye was undeniable.

Dinner was simple yet elegant, spent in perfect company and admiration. The conversation flowed as it always did, full of laughter and warmth. You listened as he recounted stories from his time in Shanghai, but you couldn’t ignore how his gaze kept drifting toward you, especially as he roamed over your face and down to the golden gown.

After the final bites of dinner, it was time for his gifts. You handed him a small box first, an elegant silver chain that he unwrapped carefully, his brow furrowing in curiosity. His fingers brushed over the subtle engraving on the links.

“These are coordinates,” he murmured, more to himself.

You nodded. “To where we had our first date.”

Ben’s expression softened immediately, his hand closing around the chain. “Oh, baby...” His voice was quiet, full of emotion as he thumbed over the engraving. He pulled it on, the silver glinting softly in the candlelight as it rested against his neck. “This is perfect. I love it.”

You smiled, watching him admire it before you handed him a few more small gifts, personal things you knew he’d love, tokens of your relationship like a small scrapbook of things you love about him with printed photos, some gifts from his friends back home, a Lego set. He found himself smiling, chuckling and soft with each gift. As the gifts came to a close, you stood up and made your way in front of Ben.

With a mischievous grin, you leaned closer, voice teasing. “But the best present is still to come.”

Ben raised an eyebrow, his grin widening as you knelt, turned around and swept your hair to the side, revealing the small tie at the nape of your neck that held your golden gown in place. “Want to unwrap your final present?”

His hands were on you in an instant, fingers brushing against your skin as he slowly undid the delicate knot. The gown loosened, slipping easily down your body, the soft fabric cascading to the floor in a golden pool around your feet.

Ben’s breath hitched as he took in the sight of you standing there in front of him in nothing but the black lace lingerie that had played in his mind all night. The candlelight only made you look all the more beautiful, feeling like he was entranced. His gaze travelled over your body, and his voice dropped to a rough whisper. “Jesus, baby…”

His hands gently grazed your bare skin as his eyes roamed over every inch of you. “You knew exactly what you were doing when you picked this out.”

“I know what my boyfriend likes,” you teased, holding his hands and bringing him to his feet. He stood close, his hands roaming the small of your back, your shoulders, your hips - anywhere he could feel your skin. Your height difference is now apparent as you look up at him through your lashes.“I’ve got his taste figured out by now.”

Ben grinned, his gaze darkening as his hand slid up to cradle your jaw. “You definitely do,” he whispered before pulling you into a kiss, deep, slow, and intoxicating. His lips were warm and soft against yours, the heat between you both intensifying with each passing second. The kiss deepened, his hands sliding down to your waist, pulling you closer as though he couldn't get enough of you.

You broke the kiss, breathless, your heart pounding as you looked up at him. “Come with me, just one more surprise,” you said softly, taking his hand and leading him toward the bedroom.

As you approached, the door swung open, revealing a scene that took Ben by surprise once again. The room was bathed in the warm glow of candles scattered across various surfaces, their flickering light casting soft shadows on the walls. Rose petals were strewn artfully over the bed, a trail of them leading from the door to where the plush bedding awaited. It was romantic, thoughtful, and completely personal, elevating the moment beyond any cliché.

Ben stood in the doorway for a moment, his hand still in yours, his gaze sweeping over the room. His breath caught, and he gave a quiet, amazed laugh. “I've never been so spoiled before, Y/N.”

You turned to him, your smile soft, the warmth of the moment settling around you both. “Only the best for you. Happy birthday, baby. I love you so much”.

He didn’t waste another second. In one smooth motion, Ben hauled you up into his arms, his lips capturing yours again in a kiss that felt even more intense than the last. There was something deeper in it now, filled with gratitude and love, not just desire. His hands roamed your body, appreciating every inch, as he brought you towards the bed. Your legs wrapped around his waist as you let him take the reign of the kiss, letting him enjoy feeling you up after so long. The feel of his lips, the way his fingers tangled in your hair as he kissed you like he couldn’t believe you were there, it made the whole night feel perfect. He tugged off his shorts and broke the kiss to take off his t-shirt.

He paused, holding your face as he looked down at you before he began to speak, chains dangling in your face, his voice husky against your skin. “You’ve made this the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you.”.

Your heart swelled at his words, and you smiled softly, holding his face and rubbing your thumb across his cheek. “And the night’s only just started. Let me take care of you tonight”. You winked as you gently pushed his shoulder down, putting you on top and letting him feel nothing but pure pleasure and love tonight. You straddled him as you undid your bra, tossing it to the side.

His breath hitched again, eyes trailing over you in admiration.

“God, you’re perfect,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with emotion and desire. His hands ran up your sides in a feathering feeling, before cupping your breasts, palming and tweaking your nipples.

"And you're amazing. I love you, Ben. I'm all yours" you purred as you swept your hair over to one side, placing your palms on his broad chest, lowering yourself down as you planted kisses along his jaw.

Your words made him exhale deeply, giving you just the motivation you needed. You made sure you were going to kiss every inch of Ben tonight, show him just how much you loved and adored him. You sucked on the soft spots you knew well by now, places that made him whimper and groan with pleasure, your favourite symphony. You nipped at his Adam's apple while he fondled your breasts, pinching, rolling and tugging at your nipples. The feeling made you moan against his throat, both of you enthralled in bliss. You trailed your mouth and tongue down kissing and suckling his shoulders and chest, leaving a trail of hickeys all over. You could hear the soft gasps escape his mouth as he held your body tight.

"Ben? Baby, keep your eyes on me, m'kay?" You purred as you made your way to his stomach, about to kiss down to his happy trail.

His eyes flitted open as he propped himself up to keep his eyes on you, never once breaking eye contact. You trailed down, right by his waistband as you danced around, teasing him. You could feel his hard length, desperate to be free, you could see the desperation in his eyes, his mouth agape, brows furrowed, and you could see your work marked all over him, leaving purple stains tainting his skin.

"Y/N...please" he whispered, his voice croaking.

You smiled, holding back a small laugh as you bit his waistband, dragging it down with your teeth as he lifted himself a bit to help you slide them off. You lowered yourself to the edge of the bed, on your knees, never once breaking eye contact.

Ben's erection sprang free, already hard and eager for your touch. You couldn't help but lick your lips at the sight, feeling a surge of desire course through you.

"Tell me what you want, birthday boy," you hummed, your breath hot against his skin as you placed your head on his thigh.

Ben's eyes were dark with lust as he looked down at you. "Your mouth," he groaned. "Please, baby".

Maintaining eye contact, you slowly kissed the tip, before licking a long stripe from base to tip. Ben let out a low groan, his hands fisting in the sheets. You swirled your tongue around the head before taking his head into your mouth.

Ben's eyes fluttered closed before snapping open again, remembering your request to keep watching. You began to bob your head, taking another inch with each pass. Your hand worked in tandem with your mouth, stroking what you couldn't fit.

"Fuck, baby," Ben panted, one hand moving to tangle in your hair, putting it up into a ponytail. "That feels so good."

You hummed in response, the vibrations making him buck against you. You did your very best to try to take as much of his girthy cock as possible, your eyes watering a bit as you did so. You felt so seductive at this moment, the wetness growing in your lacy thong as you worked your boyfriend as if he paid for this.

As you continued your ministrations, alternating between long, slow licks and deep, rhythmic sucking, Ben's breathing became more ragged. His grip tightened in your hair as he guided you up and down his length as he fought to keep his hips still. You could feel Ben getting close, his cock twitching in your mouth.

"Y/N," he groaned, tugging gently at your hair. "I'm gonna-"

You pulled off with a soft pop, looking up at him through your lashes. "Not yet, baby. I want you inside me".

Ben groaned in frustration, but his eyes were dark with anticipation as you crawled back up his body. You straddled his hips, the lace of your panties brushing against his sensitive skin. His hands roamed your body, caressing every curve and dip before finding your waist. When he reached the waistband of your lace panties, he pushed it to the side, placing his thumb on your clit, and applying pressure. You had worked yourself soaking wet during the whole evening, your arousal was apparent.

You gently hovered and aligned him up to your core, before gently taking him in. You slowly sank onto Ben's length, savouring the delicious stretch as he filled you completely.

You both let out a simultaneous moan of pleasure as you bottomed out, your hands braced on his chest for support. The feeling of him stretching and filling you was amazing, it never failed to make your eyes roll and you took a moment to adjust, savouring the sensation.

Ben's fingers dug into your hips, his eyes locked on yours with an intensity that made your heart race.

"God, you feel amazing," he breathed, voice husky with desire.

You began to move, rolling your hips in a slow, sensual rhythm. Ben met your movements, thrusting up into you with perfect synchronicity. The room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, skin slapping, soft moans, low groans, and whispered endearments.

As the pace quickened, Ben sat up, wrapping one arm around your waist to pull you closer, deeper if even possible. His other hand tangled in your hair, guiding you into a deep, passionate kiss. You could feel the cool metal of his chains hitting against your breasts with every thrust and roll. His touch on your skin was reverent as if he couldn't believe you were real.

You whispered sweet “i-love-yous” and precious words of endearment, as you felt yourself coming close. He pressed his lips to your forehead, before pressing his forehead against yours, both of you heaving and moaning.

You could feel the tension building, the heat coiling low in your belly as you rode Ben with increasing urgency. Ben's hands roamed your back, tracing the curve of your spine as you rode him, your hips rolling in a sensual rhythm that had you both panting. His thrusts became more erratic, his breathing ragged against your neck as he buried his face there, peppering kisses and gentle bites along your sensitive skin.

"You’re so beautiful, Y/N, so perfect." Ben groaned, his voice strained. "I'm close, baby. So close."

You nodded, moaning, unable to form words as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, your body trembling with the effort to hold back your release. "Me too," you managed to gasp. "Together".

You could feel the familiar tension building within you, your movements becoming more urgent. Ben's hand slipped between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit and circling it with practised ease.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged, his breath hot against your ear. "Let go for me".

The added stimulation was all it took to push you over the edge. Your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, pleasure coursing through every nerve ending as you came, followed by Ben, who groaned, his face contorted as he felt himself fill you up. You cried out his name as waves of pleasure washed over you, your body trembling in his arms. Ben held you close, guiding you through your orgasm with gentle thrusts and whispered praise. You both stayed like that for some time before you climbed off him and collapsed on the bed.

“I hope you got everything you wanted, birthday boy” you gasped, catching your breath. Your legs still shook a bit and your body trembled as you lay there, looking up at your smiling boyfriend.

“You have no idea, I can’t wait to spend every birthday like this with you” he smiled, leaning down to peck kisses over your shoulder and neck.

"We'll celebrate like this every year, Ben. Happy birthday, my love" you hummed, pressing a kiss to his lips. With that, you both lay in each other’s arms whispering sweet adorations, happy to spend the next while by each other’s side.

#ben shelton #benshelton #ben shelton x reader

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youkaiyume · 1 year ago

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So, Rise of the Beasts!!

I saw it twice of the weekend, and I want to put down my honest thoughts.

Overall, I had a great time and I definitely think it's worth watching. Ignore the critic reviews for some reason they are offended that a Transformers movie exists to sell toys. You know, their sole purpose since the very beginning of inception. But OF COURSE I have THOUGHTS so...

Spoilers under the cut!

I liked the human characters for the most part. Noah's sudden onboard motives for going with the autobots to Peru was not as convincing but adventure needs to happen so I gave it a pass.

Mirage is like, DTF with Noah. Like he is SO ready for that tiny bf bff. It's obvious that Bee spoke so much about Charlie (cuz it seemed he was the only one who did talk positively about humans in their group) that Mirage was just. HIS BODY WAS READY.

CHARLIE WAS MENTIONED!!! AHHHHH!!! That was the one tiny smidgeon of a crumb that I wanted and they gave it to me. Granted it was implied when Optimus says "I know one was good to you, Bee" But I was told that the Latin America dub had him say Charlie's actual name. There was a SCENE that was cut out according to the Hollywood Reporter--that Bumblebee had also pulled out a polaroid pic that Charlie took of them together from the first movie here to show OP. HE'S BEEN CARRYING AROUND HER PICTURE ALL THESE YEARS I DIE WHY DID YOU CUT THIS OUT!!!

Mirage's abilities seem very arbitrary. And I do not like this. He can turn into several alt modes which seems to be only a thing that he can do... he can mass shift--which I know mass shifting is a thing but when he turns into a truck to sneak past the museum security I was like??? I was always under the impression that the bots could turn into a vehicle relative to their own actual size so this just confuses me. There is supposedly an earlier cut of the film where it was more clear that the trailer was another illusion. which I wish they kept in. Also when he becomes Noah's symbiote suit at the end?? Like, as a shipper and rule of cool I am into it, but as a person who wants rules to ground my science fiction I don't like how Mirage is just a swiss army knife for the writer's convenience. It feels lazy instead of taking the time to actually worldbuild. Nobody else can do these things.

The arbitrary mass shifting of him being as big or as small as he wants (like when he becomes Noah's exosuit) really falls apart when they keep insisting that they need the humans because only they can fit into small spaces. Well, clearly not cuz you can just do it yourself. AGAIN, PLEASE BE CONSISTENT WITH YOUR RULES.

Airazor x Elena. Anyone else????

speaking of which, I am very upset about what happens to Airazor. And we never even got to see her transform. tragic.

Optimus sure was a negative nancy which--I understand why but I hope they ease up on edgy "i will rip everyone's faces off" Optimus because it feels disingenuous to his character to keep it going for too long. Like I get it, they killed your fave child so I will forgive you but also I want more of "Be strong enough to be gentle" Optimus. Not the edgelord Bayverse Optimus that they are clearly going for cuz the know certain :ahem: fans like that.

Beeeee. They put him out of commission which again, according to interviews they did just so they could make sure he doesn't steal the spotlight and give a chance for the other characters to shine lmao. He is too powerful. But also because we shots of him in the trailers, I was not too worried about Bee staying out of commission. But goddamn when if I still wasn't hyped as hell when he made his comeback. 10/10 he proves he's still the GOAT.

I hate Pablo/Wheeljack. No, after seeing the movie my opinion of him did not improve in fact it got so much worse. His design was the LEAST of his problems. Every moment he was on screen was deeply cringe. And he barely did anything!! He could have not been in the movie at all and it wouldn't have made a difference and I genuinely believe it would have been a better film. All this hullaballoo over Pablo and this is what we got. Wheeljack fans lost hard after all that defense I'm sorry this ain't it.

Hey speaking of bots that barely got any lines or screentime, wtf was up with Rhinox and Cheetor? My boys got shafted :(

There was a moment where OP is asking the bots if they detected the terrorcons and Arcee WHO IS SITTING in the pablo van was like "lol nope" and I was like GURL how could you, you're in a van. And it made no sense because don't you also have an altmode??? Shouldn't you be scouting outside to cover more ground???

I firmly believe the only had Arcee sitting in there like a dumb duck because they wanted Wheeljack to make a dumb joke in the original cut about how it was a long time since she was inside him. UGHUGHUGH.

Did I mention how glad I am that they cut the majority of Wheeljack's screentime since it was so awful especially his and Arcee's implied romance? Especially since they killed off the other femmes so the only one we got now has to have a mandatory romance. No thanks. Glad that nonsense is gone.

The Maximals' robot modes were very minimal. and they went by so fast I never got a good look at their designs.

I loved how the Maximals were harmoniously living with the native tribe--and speaking their language!

Scourge's face reveal seemed to be treated like it was a big deal but when we saw him it was just... guy without his wig on. Literally the surprise is that he is bald.

Noah x Mirage is very strong good. I have no doubt the fandom will be all over it since they seem to eat up BL romance much more readily and I am all for it. They also have all the great ingredients for it--flirting, drift compatibility, self sacrifice for the other. Another human x transformer ship for the books.

I'm sure there are some ppl who like the ending. but I.... did not. I do not want to see G.I.Joes in my transformers I'm sorry. I don't want the return of military propaganda or more introductions to several human characters that take away from the transformers. I don't want to see them exploited or used for our own human affairs--even if it's a fictional cult-- when they could be literally fighting Decepticons or Unicron or whatever. People might have wanted them in Bayverse cuz it was heavily skewed Military in those films but I don't want to see it again. It was a terrible, dark time. the Joes might be presented as good guys but I don't trust the military in general and I don't see their motives as altruistic--especially if their goal is to use them for their own purposes. Why would they help them get home? They wouldn't, if just to keep their best weapons--and Noah is bait. He is bait and he will fall for it hook line and sinker because they are bribing him with his brother's healthcare and the fact that he is struggling to find work elsewhere.I hope if they are to be involved at all it will be relegated to characters here and there but they stay in their own movies if they have to ride on Transformers coattails to revive an irrelevant struggling franchise.

There was minimal human injuries/death and I appreciate that. They did the DBZ thing where they took their fight to remote locations. This probably won't keep up if they introduce the Joes :/

Overall, 8/10. I had a fun time. I didn't love it as much as Bumblebee but it was definitely miles better than Bayverse (a low bar I know). The action was clear, the characters likable, the CGI mostly stellar. I have hope that they will bring back Charlie maybe. But hey, I took my parents to it the second time around and my Mom liked Mirage and my Dad did not fall asleep so I will consider that a stamp of approval.

#transformers #rise of the beasts #ROTB #text post #long post #read more under the cut #not so much a review as all of the thoughts i had while watching it

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shaunashipman · 4 months ago

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Honestly I was thinking about it and I have no idea what the writers are doing with Eddie’s character. I’m not sure if it’s on purpose and will be addressed but man his treatment of the women he dates is awful and doesn’t help to make him likeable. I don’t even dislike him but I think the writers need to address his constant mistreatment of the women (Shannon, Ana, Marisol and Kim) he is involved with and how that affects Chris as well. By constantly bringing women into his life, having them form a bond and then ruining the relationship.

Also it’s not lost on me that his fan base are the first ones to demand big apologies of Tommy for his microaggressions and misogynistic remarks (as a Black women yes saying that Hen has New York bitchiness or whatever the exact quote was is misogynistic and shouldn’t be undermined as that is apart of his character growth, him acknowledging that the things he did in the past did not make him a good person) but continue to excuse and make light of Eddie’s treatment of the women he dates. I think that as well is why I get so annoyed when they chalk it up to the only explanation is just being queer. It’s both misogynistic and homophobic at the same time. It’s distasteful.

I've gotta be honest, I am losing patience with eddie. I don't want to dislike him; while he's not one of my top faves, I don't dislike any the mains, and I actually really like his friendship with buck. but his stans are making me start to actively dislike him, and I don't want them to have influence over my enjoyment of the show in any way. so I'm basically trying not to think about eddie rn, so when the show comes back and we get actual eddie instead of the echo chamber version they're touting, I can just enjoy him.

but the writers definitely do need to acknowledge his treatment of women, and I really hope they don't just go the trauma over shannon dying route. obvs they have to deal with that elephant because they decided to do the kim storyline, but I hope that means we can finally put it to bed in s8, cause I was done with shannon 5 seasons ago.

actually, having chris in Texas with his parents* could be the perfect way to have eddie deal with his treatment of women, because it does clearly stem from how he was raised, and having a good reason already for him to be in more contact with his parents (and hopefully sisters) hopefully means doing a good examination of those relationships.

I do think at least a small part of ppl's insistence that eddie's treatment of women is because he's gay, is that they don't want to admit their fave is misogynistic, cause then he's "a bad person" and they shouldn't like him, rather than seeing it as a character flaw** that he needs to grow from. no, instead it basically boils down to "he's confused", so that makes all his actions okay.

*I do not ascribe to the opinion that the diaz's are evil for taking chris back to texas, nor do I think it was their idea. it could have been something they floated to chris in their talk, but I do believe it was chris' decision. I also don't ascribe to the opinion that the diaz's are evil in general. helena def needs to have a conversation with eddie and apologize for her "dragging you down with him" comment, but we've already seen that ramon has realized his mistakes and is trying to do better, there's no reason helena can't do the same. also, despite many fanon portrayals of them as being ableist and babying towards chris, the little direct interaction we've seen of them with chris does not support that.

**just because I"ve seen this complaint recently: in real life, misogyny, racism, and other forms of bigotry are not character flaws, they are just bigotry. bigotry that people can grow past, but still, not just character flaws. but fiction is used to teach life lessons, sometimes very heavy-handedly, and so in that respect, they are character flaws.

#cleo gets mail #anonymous #911 #911 discourse #eddie diaz #anti eddie diaz #to be safe

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bee-named-alex · 5 months ago

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So episode 6 of IWTV s2. My thoughts? Many. Enjoy them, I'll try to make it as coherent as possible in my current state. Spoilers and my mental breakdown below the cut

Fuck this. I cannot wait for a week after this episode, how am I supposed to be normal after this???

So I guess I'll start from the start? The tension is in every word and I get why Daniel's getting afraid for his life, I mean I am afraid for his life rn and he's not even real.

The Dubai scenes, they contrast really well with the first couple episodes of this season. The cracks in Loumand relationship are very apparent now, they can't even decide on what painting to have in their house. And I read a post that was like "season 1 was music, season 2 is art" and it's so true and this means like their relationship is empty i guess or something. Maybe just that it's falling apart.

And the way they began this season holding hands and sitting so close, acting like everything was perfect, ready to fight Daniel and now they sit as far away as possible, fight like all the time about everything and Louis and Daniel (and even Rashid I think) keep on further unionizing against Armand... I think that's just great.

And Armand knowing that they know and from the start trying to spin it. I'm not sure how the sentence "Why do you ask, love?" from Louis is like the coldest thing ever but it just is.

I'll talk more about Dubai later.

But now to Paris. Claudia's diary "Fuck these vampires" - girl's so right (in both meanings of that word btw). Claudia was never really my fave, but out of everyone I feel like she deserves a happy ending the most (not counting daniel here) and fuck, she's not getting it. i know but it still hurts like hell.

Her and Madeleine's relationship is great. Inbetween all the plotting and manipulation and murder this feels like one of the only peaceful things. In the scene where Claudia reveals herself I though that she's like Madeleine's guardian angel. But also an angel of death. But Madeleine doesn't mind and I think that's very important, that she doesn't really see Claudia as a monster - or maybe she does, but it doesn't change what she feels (after all, she thinks that she's a monster)

Then the turning. First Louis trying to convince Armand and him not obeying- as Daniel says "maitre only when it's hot or convinient" (it was hot in the art room btw and it's so not fair that we didn't get to see at least a little more i mean that whole scene was inexplicably so hot and i need moreeee).

But it also reminded me of another post, the "Armand is a willingly leashed tiger" because like yeah, Louis has the power up until the point when Armand no longer wants him to have it. (also Louis persuasion being "imagine me without the burden of her" sucks, like sorry but this hurts, even if you didn't mean it and yes it matters if you meant it. But his later method - aka kiss to shut him the hell up - seems much better.)

Then I got a little pissed or perhaps confused at his "Are you asking or making me?" because we know that Louis can't actually make Armand do anything, not when he is 100 % sure he doesnt want to. Because if he could, Armand would've turned Madeleine. (speaking of, Armand not having turned anyone is pretty interesting, but i guess that that's how it was in the books and it was important so sure why not)

Also Louis' "It's ok, it's ok" here reminded me of "Of course, of course!" and also "It's fine, he's fine, we're fine" and it's just so funny how they all think that if they say things over and over again they'll convince themselves that they're true.

The turning itself was beautiful, as Louis said it would be. Like it wasn't violent, there wasn't fear, no tears. Just love and devotion and I'm so sad that Claudia's and Madeleine's beautiful dream didn't last longer.

Louis not caring afterwards is just another exampke of his dissociative state and I worry about his mental well-being. (All of their mental and physical well-beings tbh)

In Dubai again, Armand finally talking about the erased memories and how they both hate on him for it and they're right. Like what do you mean Daniel doesn't have the right to be angry, of course he does. It's fun to see Daniel delighted about fighting Armand.

But also... Louis asked him to get rid of those momeries (if he believe him. And I, in this episode more than ever and despite my better knowledge, do believe Armand. Maybe it's just because of Assad's phenomenal acting but I believe his words and I believe his tears. Which actually makes this all worse btw.) and that makes the whole situation suddenly much more complicated.

Other Paris plot - Santiago (fuck Santiago) and his coup -, yeah that kept me on my toes for the entire episode. Like Armand says that he was in love and Louis says that he got lazy but I just think he must've been blind to not see it.

I feel like Dubai kinda reflects this (Louis and Daniel unionizing as we've said and so it's like Armand losing his power over his people again) but also. Paris and it's aftermath was the biggest crisis of their relationship, must've been (followed by San Francisco and Daniel I'm sure). But now as the recount it they are also reliving it and are also in a full-blown crisis and i hope this one doesn't end in a fire.

And the ending of it all. Fuck. I was near tears watching it.

The double-date in the cafe felt like a dream, they even said in the episode insider that they wanted it to feel surreal or something like that, like a romantic comedy. And for a few minutes it does. They let you believe that they could be happy. You know they won't, you know that shit's about to go down and everything will end in ruin but this single scene makes you beg, no please, no don't fuck it up, just stay happy, like this, it can be good. And despite knowing what's coming, you stick your claws into this idea of happiness like a lifeline.

And then it hurts that much more when this perfect bubble pops.

I admire all the actors because idk what Armand was feeling the moment he stepped outside but through Assad's acting I felt it too. And as Louis looks around, seeing the world stop, here I know exactly what he must've felt- the realization hits, the betrayl and then the immense worry for Claudia and Jacob portrays it so beautifully.

"He chose." This breaks my heart. Because what did he choose exactly, or better yet, what did he choose over? I mean this is terrible, the trial, but what was his other choice? He calls himself a coward so maybe it was Louis and Claudia and Madeleine or him that the coven would go after. But maybe this was actually the better choice idk.

But like you see the regret in Armand's face in Paris but especially in Dubai and I trust him. I believe him that he regrets it, I believe him the tears and as I've said that just makes it so much worse. Because he chose this and now they suffer for it and he suffers for it too and blames himself (rightfully so), but it still hurts.

And then Lestat. Fuck. I knew this was gonna come (I just couldn't help myself and because of my recklessness saw a spoiler, that he's gonna be there) but that in no way did that knowledge diminish what I felt when I saw him. Because, hell, idk I'm just so excited to finally have him back because I love him but also I hate him and am so scared as to what he's gonna do. He's gonna testify against Louis and Claudia sure but what if he won't? Does he want to kill or fuck Louis? Will his and Armand's past play part in this or is that a box to remain unopened until later?

"You cannot script a hurricane" they said and so this means Lestat will go off script. But to what extent? At least to which it results in burning the theatre down.

The preview didn't help my state, quite the contrary actually. Louis in Paris is scared that Lestat's gonna come. Santiago's laughing. What does Armand feel? Who knows not me, I'm just scared. And excited. I feel like I won't fall asleep for two days after this but it's fine. I'm fine, everything's fine.

#im terrified #and im also so so excited #please disregard any spelling mistakes and such im writing in a weird state and hands are shaking #if i missed something please overlook that too my brain is shaking as well (but maybe remind me)#if i have any more thoughts (i will) that i can write down (i might not) i will write it #interview with the vampire #iwtv spoilers #iwtv #armand #daniel molloy #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncunt #iwtv s2 #iwtv s2 ep6

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temporarilyunstable · 1 year ago

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it's a monster of a ppp essay

Finally writing about this film I’ve pretty much obsessed over for months! Hopefully I can put some order into this but in case I ramble you have been warned lol. Spoilers will be discussed.

I first saw this film in Japan on opening day— prior to that I tried to gather as much information as I could via JP tweets and impressions, especially those of the pre-golden week screening on April 29, then adding more info as soon as spoilers were lifted to increase my understanding. And now a couple of months later, I finally have full context, but really happy that most of the information I got was accurate, and the only details that I had to clear up were related to the more complex elements of the plot, plus the ever-important talk-no-jutsus (tnj) in the film.

If I were to give this film a score, it’s a 9/10. Prior to this, my fave iteration was case 3, being the ever-economic-just-over-an-hour-but-does-everything-right entry to the series. Maybe it’s my Akane bias but PPP just knocked that one right out of the park. The animation was great (I am not well-versed in this so you won’t hear me talk about it much), even if wonky Arata took me out despite the emotion in the scene. Voice acting, no one does it better than the JP actors, I will not be convinced otherwise. It’s my preference and frankly if you’ve never watched this in sub I do think you missed out. The music was TOP-TIER. I’ve not stopped listening to this OST ever since it came out, blessdt Ennio-Morricone-esque Is this your choice, Akane Tsunemori? track #27 CD2?!!?!??! *INHALE*

I can’t actually use technical film critic jargon here so in short, I LOVE this film so much.

A bit of background info from the recent interviews Director Shiotani participated during the roundtables/live stages in JP - the “switching” of the timelines were at the behest of the producers (Fuji TV), including the introduction of new characters, in order to continue the story indefinitely from a TV perspective (link). It was a ballsy move, and in hindsight it paid off, but not without its pitfalls which I will touch on later. PP3/FI was developed during PPSS, and PPP was developed during PP3/FI, so you can imagine the difficulty of making sure the creative team have crossed their t’s and dotted their i’s. That being said, apart from telling the story it wishes to tell, the purpose of this film was to tie the past to the present, and I think that they did it very well.

My thoughts are still evolving, but interestingly enough, most of my impressions haven’t changed. So I’ll talk about some elements of the plot that interest me, then I’ll go to specific characters, and ofc I’ll talk about the ship (not the Grootslang 😉).

There’s a clear three-parts to this film: up to Saiga’s death, up to Atsushi’s death, and Akane’s career death (if it is to be said, so it is lol). Each part had their pros and cons, but it’s quite a feat managing to squeeze all the information in. There was no dull moment for me.

I think the deaths here (especially of the characters we were supposed to care about)— the manner and speed in which they perished, and at a certain point in the film, all for nothing— were part of the point.

Before I watched this with subs I actually thought that it would be more difficult to understand, but I have to say that the nolan-esque expositions were well executed and nicely placed, for example the talk about possession between Kogami and Shion was a good prep for the audience for when we actually get to hear about how it works from Akira. Also a great way to show both Kogami’s detective skills that have not dulled the slightest, and his and Shion’s closeness(?/familiarity? Call it what you want). Another example is the Mika-team essentially telling the audience what’s about to happen prior to us seeing Sugo get things done in the sky (also I forgot he was just flying a drone and was out of harm’s way ehehe). I would say that the hardest parts to piece together have to do with the elements related to PP3, including the involvement of Bifrost. I’ll touch on this later.

I’ve talked about Saiga’s death to my friends way before the first trailer ever released. Him not being present in PP3 was the biggest clue, and not that I wanted it to happen, but it was necessary to raise the stakes and make it personal. As a fic writer, admittedly I’ve never been happier to be right 😅. His scenes with Akane and Kogami at the beginning of the film were standouts. I particularly love how Saiga and Akane are so at ease with having a simple conversation— they’re talking about work but he could so easily talk about his doubts regarding Atsushi, for example. I love how he’s the same with Kogami, how he clearly states his allegiance to Akane, and ofc reminding Kogami to apologize (and something else I picked up that I will discuss later).

I can say that despite the initial ridiculousness of the Divider/possession, the way it was explained was quite convincing to me compared to how they brushed over how Arata’s mentalist skills worked in PP3. Also, there’s kind soul from the JP fandom who attempted to explain how it could probably work irl (link). It’s creepy, if you think about it, and well-documented too. Have a read if you’re interested.

Action scenes, definitely a strong suit of this film - you just know they can’t help themselves sometimes LOL. Kogami v Akira is definitely the best one (RIP Kogami’s balls hihi), and I’ve said this before but they definitely have perfected Kogami’s animation when it comes to fighting, and he is always the most flawlessly animated, however I think they did Gino really well here too. There’s this other really wonky one where Sugo falls down the escalator and it just looks like he’s a solid object and not a human body asdlfkjaskldfj. Honestly I finally understood the critique that the Sugo drone scenes were definitely way too long (I didn’t notice this bec it was hella entertaining when you don’t have subs plus it was super fun if you watch it in 4dx/mx4d).

Really dropped the ball on the Stronskaya Papers imo. I think, for something that was meant to be so important, the exposition regarding its use was really a lazy excuse. “SEAUn essentially proved its value” ain’t gonna cut it. If this is something so important people choose to kill/die for, then the implications of it should have been shown to the audience, not told.

I only noticed after the third subbed rewatch, but to me, everyone is being measured against Akane in this film. I will elaborate later.

Sibyl as an AI

Finally, the little complication about using the term "AI" when describing the Sibyl System. When the first impressions of this came out, there were a LOT of dissatisfied JP fans. Until it was described as such in the film, since the system constitutes actual human brains, then the interpretation is that it is human. I’m not sure if this was a general interpretation btw, but since this is the first time the term “AI” was used to describe Sibyl, ofc it rubbed people the wrong way, especially bec it feels like the whole concept of Sibyl was retconned.

I somewhat agreed with this interpretation— I had always considered the Sibyl System as an independent character in this series, who was meant to be impartial but somehow acts/reacts as a human would— and it's not hard to think so, when you look at the way the system has acted and evolved throughout the show. At times, the system is shown to be curious, greedy, and even cruel. I am ofc talking about them as a whole and not their androids (Kasei, Misako, Chuan Han, Hosorogi, even the dude in Case 2, etc)— individual brains act as human with a CA constitution (so still slightly different from a normal human), that’s clearly shown in the series.

When I read about this through interviews of Director Shiotani, I didn’t quite get the full context as it was used in the film. My initial interpretation was that the system was human, but the mechanisms that make it work (the claws swapping brains supposedly without human intervention, the city/country-wide whole network/surveillance system, the immediate reaction to process a Dominator’s request, etc) were powered by AI. I thought that they used the term AI to update the terminology, since this technology is quickly becoming commonplace irl. Now I've seen PPP with subs and thought a bit more about it, I still somehow think this is the case but also, all things considered, the term AI also makes sense.

Bear with me as I try to break it down. The Sibyl System is a system that is bound by its raison d'être: the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people (very important: not all). To achieve this, it has taken over control of the lives of its citizens via the Psycho- Pass, a quantified measure of mental states/psychological tendencies and aptitudes— a supposedly objective measure. This includes law enforcement, as the system is able to predict an individual’s tendency to commit crime. We also know that the Sibyl system has auxiliary functions, like planning citizens’ lives or recommending the best option for the individual’s happiness, matchmaking, art/cultural/historical/religious control. Its role is very simple: assign the best possible job that one is most capable of (essentially eliminating non-productivity as a society), and through psycho-pass measurements, maintain/execute (criminal) law and order under the PSB. It can be implied that other non-criminal laws can’t be divorced from Sibyl, since its functions make all these possible within the confines of what Sibyl constitutes as “right” (and is implied,) based on the rule of law. Sorta like a chicken and egg situation, but the law, being at the base of it all. Sibyl came into legal force - it is, first and foremost, lawful.

Applying that to the definition of AI, we could say that at its inception, the law would be Sibyl’s code/algorithm, prior research (be it criminal/non-criminal data/aptitude/psychology/physio etc etc) and eventually its actual application is its data set, and the use of human brains as its processing mechanism. If we review how the system has "acted" so far, it's all consistent with the fulfillment of their purpose, EVEN if exceptions, limitations and anomalies exist.

A key concept that has been repeated in the show’s run is Sibyl’s “evolution”, which coincides with the same concept of AI “developing/learning automatically”. If I still have your attention, you will probably know that the main driver of Sibyl’s evolution has always been Akane, be it directly (S1, PP movie, PPP), or indirectly (PP2, PP3). This has been introduced from the start, with Sibyl itself acknowledging its imperfection, but insisting on the need to maintain its perceived perception in the interests of a peaceful society.

What makes it a bit contentious is the fact that the individual brains ARE very obviously still human - so I think that the “the Sibyl System is an AI” really feels off somehow, or at least conceptually feels like it should have been carefully defined rather than left up for interpretation, given what we’ve seen in the series thus far. In any case, here are some references to help you think about it and make your own interpretation.

World Affairs (OffiPro)

Genesis 1-2

Genesis 3-4

Characters - I’m just gonna put this disclaimer, basically if I quote something from the film please just understand that it’s mostly paraphrased.

Akira

Definitely one of my favorite additions to this massive cast. Not the first one to say it but what a shame (he’s so sexy UwU). He’s probably less complex of a character than Atsushi (oh we’ll get to him), since his motivations are not “heavy” enough for me to believe such a sacrifice. He volunteered to be a double agent, burned his face to prevent identification, took on the mental (physical, actually) load of the chips in his brain and for what? For the greater good? Where did we see that anywhere? It is implied that as an immigrant he’s had his fair share of exposure to wars/conflict - we all know this was the same case with characters like Kei and Maiko, for example, but if we’re simply relying on the context of this film, I got the impression that he was merely doing it for his brother.

Things I love:

Dropping the machine gun post shootout with Kogami, signaling that he has no intention to go that far (gonna talk about the other side of this coin in a bit)

RECITING THE GREAT ASO on top of that holo cliff *chills*

In the JP version, his very VERY noticeable voice change when he surrendered to Kogami and Gino

His “please take care of Kei” never fails to make my heart ache T-T AKIRAAAAAAAAAAA

Atsushi (& a bit of Yabuki)

One of the best characters in this film (who no one will invite in their wedding— oh the irony lol). I think that a good baseline from watching PP3/FI really helps appreciate him, though I didn’t actually care much if not for Niki making me notice in PP3 that there are conflicting accounts about him (a malicious one c/ o Obata in her testimony, vs Arata’s POV of him as a good and loving father), plus the more I learned about the complexities of Bifrost the more I got interested in him, too. Atsushi is clearly a morally grey character, and in this film it both comes out of his mouth (as a form of admittance in his speech), and shows in his actions. His speech: "The right choice can be wrong in a different time, that’s because righteousness is relative, but the truth is absolute. What we need is the truth, the means to accept that truth and choose the path where no one gets hurt." is clearly directed at only four people in that room. The speech also served as an admission of his guilt— and once again, the theme “he did what he had to/someone had to do it”.

There’s a line during his interview with Akane where she says “you don’t make mistakes. Everything you do puts you a step further in your career, as if you’re following a path laid out before you.” When she seems to have hit the right line of questioning, he was clearly about to confess, but alas, it was not to be. I remember reading an interview where Director Shiotani said “he doesn’t get to have it easy” and you know what, ok fine.

Atsushi and Yabuki’s approach is, in a nutshell, big picture thinking, the end justifies the means. They make difficult decisions, get things done and can’t avoid people from getting hurt. This is also driven home by Yabuki’s words to Frede “ideals are not enough to bring about change”. (He also said something good about needing that kind of power to exact justice and being prepared for the infamy that would result - help me if you remember this was my takeaway from it). To me, they both represent the kind of people who are about to become obsolete in Sibyl society IF it is heading towards the path people like Akane and eventually, Arata, are aiming for (put a pin on that).

We know that he was a Bifrost Inspector, and interestingly enough, it seems that Yabuki is too since they’re communicating via the terminal we saw Kei use. As is on trend for anything related to Bifrost, you do not see the hands of these guys getting dirty despite all the dirty work they actually do. That said, Akira, Milcia and most likely Saiga, are probably foxes.

Things I love:

I think that he and Tonami, while they must have believed there was no other way at the time, acknowledged that there was no excuse, and as a result are inspired (or in Tonami’s case, persuaded though begrudgingly) to trust the newer generation to do it better than they could. I feel like Atsushi already knew his time was coming the moment the deaths of those he had personal ties with started piling at his door.

His conversation with Kasei/Sibyl: “we’ve been watching you for a while”, implying Sibyl being complicit in all the dirty work he’s had to do. “Do you believe in the potential of humans?” and the response “of course. this is the reason why we exist” — really rubs the god/religious themes here, handing him the gun that will take his life as their parting gift, as if to say “this is your judgment”. I’m gonna touch on this again with Akane.

I’m not the first person to say this but with the exception of Yabuki, who was killed, at the end, Milcia, Akira and Atsushi’s acts were extreme, and I’m just not gonna gloss over this, cowardly. Choosing to die instead of living. Choosing to be absent instead of being present (in his brother’s life, in her daughter’s life). Atsushi preached it to his son (“do not dive without a lifeline”) but not only failed to act on his teachings but continued his approach. You could say it was the only choice at the moment, but all their previous choices led them there, and it’s even worse that they got someone else involved and killed, even if that wasn’t their intention.

HOWEVER, and this is going to be brought up again: someone has to do it, and therein lies the nuance in the other main character in PPP we’ll talk about later.

Saiga

I don’t really have much to add except they made him especially handsome in this film… 😳 And ofc I love that he picked up the lack of people in the building, he really said you can’t hide anything from my keen observation skillz. I loved that he was pretty chill about it too, maybe he was trying to cool down his favorite student 🤗

Things I love:

Akane visited him at 23:41 in the evening, I am assuming on that same day (it’s the time stamp on his laptop, also confirmed by Director Shiotani). I guess the concept of after office hours does not exist bec it looks like they left for Dejima immediately after.

“People aspire for comfort and find themselves unable to escape it, like me” and Akane immediately saying that’s not the case 🥹

Coffee on the lips. Leaning back on the couch. The toast and the chuckle RIP

“She’s not a saint/bodhisattva”: I’ve understood this to mean that she WILL enforce Kogami if it comes down to, hence he better apologize to her while he can.

His very meme-able criticism of Kogami before they got on the elevator

“Well, that was crazy!”

HIM BEING PEAK HANDSOME WHEN HE HAD A KNIFE ON HIS THROAT LIKE?!?!

The desperation and VERY obvious there is no other way here when Akane’s whole body is about to fall just trying to hang onto him

That they muted Akane’s scream when he fell

That she went straight down to him without so much as looking back at the fighting still happening

That she fixed his body 😭

I’m really gonna miss him. I always used to hc that Akane and Kogami would have a moment with him at some point in the future, calling back to their visit to his house in s1 but alas… we can’t have everything we want, huh?

Tonami

AHHHH old man, old man.

My favorite part about Tonami is that they clearly improved on making sure they don’t paint him as an evil guy. They tried to do this with Garcia, but frankly the novel did a better job at making him look more nuanced than the movie did— and that’s saying a lot since like I said, I love case 3. This is probably because they had the benefit of time, of course, and we’re gonna touch on this again later, they spend less time making Kogami look good (i mean, not physically) in this film.

They were very economic with how they portrayed his character, too. With just that one scene of him and the kid, you immediately empathize and are forced to listen to what he’s actually saying. My favorite scenes of any iteration is the “reckoning”/tnj that Akane has towards the end, basically summarizing the thesis of the story, and the questions it poses to the audience. This film is probably the best at presenting the most nuanced argument of the series so far between two sides. Very simple, very straightforward, and the movie’s prior scenes have done the legwork for the viewer to connect the points each is trying to make, like neat little puzzle pieces that make you go oh.

Things I love:

“Don’t forget you were the ones who made me this way.” (mic drop).

Akio Otsuka’s voice acting, especially when Akane was crawling to grab the Dominator. THE FRUSTRATION IS REAL.

This was pretty much confirmed and I’ll touch on it again later: he was not going to kill Akane (link) . I thought this was up for debate at first, but actually after seeing the subbed version I am convinced this was actually not up for debate due to the following:

It was him talking to Kai when he killed Milcia, he asked “You killed her?” and said “You messed up, Kai”

We do not actually see him kill unless there is a purpose. Killing the SAD guys to get to Milcia, killing the SAD guys to get to Saiga. He revived Bokamoso because he needed to get the papers (wasn’t convinced that Saiga really didn’t have it, as already established by Saiga a few scenes prior), and was biding their time when he engaged with Frede & Gino after Kai confirmed the papers were not there, probably waiting for Kai to finish with Kogami (“time is up”). Decided the ops team (Ko, Gino, Frede) needed to die after they were exposed and the safety of the General and Raphael were put in jeopardy.

He shot Akane in the same place he shot Kogami a few scenes prior— this is also why I do not believe this is random, but rather just a means to incapacitate them while he needed to do what he needed to do: possess Kai bec he now knows where the General is and needed him out of there, (unclear whether he knew at the time that Kai had the papers but likely he did since he referred to the memory chip during his first meeting with Akane), and have Akane not bother him while he possesses the peacebreakers in battle).

Shooting Akane again, not fatally wounding her.

Akane’s line “why don’t you just kill me?”. Like, really, why didn’t he? The link above sheds some light on the creator’s vision on this and it’s delicious, lol. IMO, if he had wanted her dead they’d not have even talked. Very simple.

This is not to justify his actions btw, in fact, Akane even called him out “the same wars you helped perpetrate”, and her lichrally saying “I promise to expose the truth about the peacebreakers, but this doesn’t excuse what you’ve done”. Madame Justice said YOU WILL BE JUDGED BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME AS AN INSPECTOR OF THE PUBLIC SAFETY BUREAU ETC ETC

He cares about Kai/Akira (the line to Atsushi “so Kai is your pawn, too?” at the helipad, and his concern about the divider overloading and his reaction that Kai is choosing to die). He clearly cares about the peacebreakers, too. Nuance, man. Delicious.

“You can’t stop what you started here” CHILLS. Definitely reminds me of Kamui’s tnj in S2.

Frede

I have a soft spot for her. She’s clearly more loyal to Yabuki & the MFA than to Saiga, and, judging by her character we’ve seen so far, she’s taking after Yabuki as well 😉

The reason why? #21 in Director Shiotani’s Q&A space last June 15 (link).

So pretty when she was conflicted about not telling Saiga/Kogami about le grand ̶f̶a̶i̶l̶ plan

I like how she calls Yabuki “boss” 🥹

Fave scene when Kogami calls her out for lying to Saiga LOL, I just love that he can just do that and that she doesn’t even bat an eye, I like that about them.

Gino

He’s not my fave, but I’ve grown a bit soft on him here I have to admit. Love that they gave his devotion to Akane more context, and that this whole system of trust between them (and the rest of Div 1) is shown.

He is right, it’s his ego talking (the boat convo). Akane didn’t and isn’t staying/tied to the CID bec of them (Ko & Gino) jeez man. It’s not about YOU. LMFAOOoOOOOooo

Little Ginomika moment, I loved that. Speaking of…

Mika

“This is no time to be playing politician” sis— did anyone ever tell you that you have an aptitude for it? The whole plan about selling them out if they all die so she could save their asses, then actually coming to their aid when it truly mattered? Does your fave ever?!?!?!

While she’s probably the one who has one of the best charadevs in the show, I fear a little that she’s starting to become a gag character, ALTHOUGH i’m arguing that she’s clearly still a writer’s fave with the way they give her critical hero moments when it counts (the whole rock star raid at heaven’s leap in PP3, then this “I got it covered” in PPP). I think Mika best displays the balance required to stay (sane) in this job. She’s able to take on what she needs to, and accomplish the role she’s set out to play, and at the end of the day she probably goes home and has a boba, binges netflix and has a good night’s sleep.

I dunno where I read this - but there are main characters, and there are main side characters. This is Gino and Mika’s fate in the grander story, with their arcs pretty much over since Case 1.

Finally, the good stuff. If this ain’t much of an overly long essay already.

Kogami

Before I go off, my experience is as follows:

When the first trailer of PPP came out, his words “I have no regrets” were so jarring to me. I didn’t quite understand how that was supposed to add up to the Kogami in my head, the hopeful man who was ready to come home at the end of Case 3, and the guy who said sorry at the end of PPFI. This led me to find some answers by machine translating the PP3/FI novels, and the case 3 novel.

In a nutshell, I had thought that the ending of case 3 meant that he was going to turn a new leaf and fight for the same justice Akane was (in short, no killing). Guess what? I forgot that he did kill Jackdaw in PPFI, and the novel pretty much confirmed his actions and thoughts around it (aka, he was really going to kill the guy— I mean, he came into the scene guns blazing, you know? AND I FORGOT ABOUT IT (I call this my akane-tinted glasses 😉).

Another line in Akane’s monologue that cemented my reinterpretation of Kogami, and I was immediately reminded of this passage when Akane sadly spoke to him right after he shot Tonami:

“Believing in the meaning of the stars was something only she herself held, and it was as if she was being told that the stars were just stars by the others she believed to be her comrades. When she began to consider that perhaps it was not the incomprehensible others who were truly isolated, but rather herself, true loneliness arrived. The moment of being cast into the sea of true loneliness, without even the stars or the sound of waves.” (the stars here was implied to be either law, or justice)

It’s been confirmed by Ryo Yoshigami that Akane’s monologues in the PP3/FI novels were written with the plot of PPP in mind— so you all know, this was intentional. The novels really helped me take a step back and assess what I was really looking at as a character, and Kogami’s role in the overall story. I thought he was someone who was on his way to change, I was wrong. I thought that his values have aligned with Akane, again, wrong. Now I know what some of yall are gonna say, that you didn’t misinterpret him. Sure, this statement isn’t for you then. BUT don’t lie to me, those who DID. 🤪

As for the rest, go read and form your own opinion (PP3 Novels)

Kogami’s sense of justice

As a main character of the series, Kogami’s journey has been up and down, but one thing that’s consistent about him, in the simplest terms: his justice is personal. Whether it’s one of revenge, which he had closed the door on post case 3, his inability to turn away from injustice, and in PPP, his acceptance and taking responsibility of what he stands for, and what he can do.

In the beginning of Case 3, he was making an effort to avoid killing— even using it as a condition for cooperating with Kinrei on the raid in the train station. This was during a time when he was clearly at a loss of what to do, still swimming in his regrets and just letting himself go in whichever direction life takes him. Come the end of Case 3, we see his hopeful decision to return, and, in PPP, clearly stated during his convo on the boat, his reasons. He did not come back to die, but to help people. This is essentially an explanation of his choice and lack of regret that he failed to explain properly to Akane, but if it wasn’t clear yet, this is also where the lines have been drawn between the two protagonists, interestingly enough, since the beginning of the series. Akane’s sense of justice is directly tied to the law, whereas Kogami’s does not (and, I think a moot point to argue now, will never).

He does what he does because it’s what he can do. The difference between Kogami S1 and Kogami PPP/PP3 is that he’s found a purpose/place that aligns with his sense of justice. He owns it, and takes full responsibility for it. It’s a facet of growth, though probably not in a direction that would bode well for him if he fails to look from above, as was Saiga's last words to Akane. I can take this apart in a few ways, firstly, and especially towards his “belief” in Akane, he’s a hypocrite (LOL). Says one thing, does another. Wanting to be judged after the fact is like, are you kidding me, man? Right in front of the blood of someone she just tnj’d “you will be judged according to the law”?!?!?!!

Let's take a break, I’ll throw him a bone.

He simply cannot turn away from injustice and would rather get his hands dirty than allow others to get away with their crimes

This is a great callback to his time with Garcia “you hesitated, and now someone’s dead.” See? Charadev. (I’m being sarcastic). It must suck for him that though he didn’t hesitate, Saiga is still dead.

To me, he’s started walking forwards post case 3, and while he still regrets everything he did before that, he’s left that behind to fulfill a new purpose in his life

In this scene specifically, he would rather kill than have Akane be killed.

Very personal, very short-sighted, very impulsive, reactive sense of justice. That he agreed with what Tonami had said, for all that talk of his belief in Akane, he’s a funny ̶l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ guy, isn’t he?

I’ve always argued that if his aim was that good (and again, Tenzing commented on this, he CAN shoot to disarm someone), then why didn’t he? Kogami in PPP, in every scene, operates on a shoot to kill. I’m no longer here to apologize for the guy, even if he did, three years too late. I think that it helped me come to terms with their differences, and this is fundamental. Don’t get me wrong, I still like his character, maybe even more now that we’ve learned quite a few things about his… shortcomings (lol), but I’m not gonna make excuses for him in the same way he doesn’t make excuses for himself. He chose. He still chooses to. Cool motive, still murder.

Where this will lead him, it’s been alluded to in the film. Tonami is what a misguided Kogami could become, and even Saiga clearly reminded him of it. That’s a matter for his future, but know that this movie is sowing seeds the creators may decide to reap someday.

Things I love :

He got his balls kicked!!! Love that for him 🤣

Used to complain about how lousy his shirt looked is in pp3 and whoooaa he took the jacket off and I'm sweating

WET HAIR

TACTICAL GEAR

The PP OST and the dominator UI, before he takes his first shot *chills*

Despite all my beef about him, I still really do love the guy. Now I just dunk on him every chance I get, it's fun. And ofc, I still have a tiny bit of hope about his future, and I’ll be holding him to that standard, otherwise yeah, he can die in a ditch (or if we’re going there, he can die whilst leading an uprising to destroy Sibyl) 😉

Akane

So when I said earlier that everyone is being measured against Akane, I really meant it. She had taken a back seat since the PPSS films, and in PP3/FI the whole mystery surrounding her imprisonment was an invisible hand driving many elements of the show. PPP is HER film, and as a character, her continued relevance to the series' thesis cannot be discounted.

“The law doesn’t protect people. People protect the law.”

If Kogami was consistent about his sense of justice, she is even more so. What makes her leagues above him is that she’s driving change, and change DOES happen in the manner that does not allow her to break her principles… that is, until the end of PPP 😉. I’m not going to elaborate on her sense of justice, it’s pretty straightforward even if the series likes to throw stones at it as if following it is the hardest thing in the world. What makes Akane stand out is that it's actually not hard. Look, ask yourself whether it’s easier to kill another human being or not— I’m not talking about exceptional circumstances, but even then, I think you know the answer— there’s a moral and ethical basis here that she shares with a great number of people. Killing is wrong, it’s against the law to take another life. To me, the point of each iteration is to keep stacking odds against her through characters, each with their own complexities and nuance that the audience is made to empathize with and contrasted to her sense of justice, resulting in making it look like her principles are ideal and impossible to achieve, when actually, they're not.

One of my favorite lines of the film, when Tonami says to Akane, “these are the facts that lie in the shadow of the peace that you enjoy”. Let’s be real. Akane is privileged. She’s not had to fire a gun to defend herself in a war torn land— but the argument against this is the same argument for it— it’s because she doesn’t have to. Kogami is back in Japan, it stands to reason that he must adhere to its laws, because despite his experiences abroad, he is not and will never be above the law.

I’m gonna touch on something I already discussed on twitter, because there’s a difference between the way Kogami has killed, versus the way Gino and Sugo have.

As far as the series has shown, the following are Sibyl-sanctioned “killing”, the last one specifically relates to PPP:

As judged by the Dominator (LE/DD)

In cases of national defense/during the execution of duties as members of the NDF

In cases of self-defense in the course of an official operation

It stands to reason that just because they are sanctioned does not save the person from their hue deteriorating, because that part is directly related to a person’s view of guilt. Throughout the show, the audience is constantly reminded that the act of (indirectly) killing does not necessarily impact one's hue (e.g. the PP of the person who manufactured the gun is not the same as the person who fired it, the whole premise of the foxes in PP3, etc), hence the "guilt" associated with the act falls on the person who does it, which may result in a higher cc. A person is able to absolve themselves precisely bec they know they're doing it within the confines of the law, but this doesn’t always follow (e.g. Sugo’s hue deteriorating in Case 2). There's a good example of this in action during Akane's operation in PPP, when Tonami issues the order to kill, and the team, who had been disarming/arresting everyone a few minutes before, was left with no choice but to defend themselves, often resulting in a kill.

While the Peacebreakers were able to hand over this guilt to Tonami via the Divider, Gino and Sugo could not. At the start of the film, they only used the guns when the Dominator was not functioning. The difference with their actions in the last third of the film is they participated in an unsanctioned operation with Akane, have killed as a result and are now likely above regulation. Had no idea the words “once the hounds have thrown away their collars, public safety will never tame them again” also served as foreshadowing as this is probably why Sugo and Gino were requested for transfer to the SAD. And if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that Gino actually gets the job done with fewer bullets than Kogami does. Kogami, from the start, comes into the scene, kills all his enemies on sight without hesitation. This is a huge difference, and this is what Akane is trying to keep him from defaulting to. Violence to fight violence was not the answer, but they clearly do not align on this. It’s a perspective thing. 😉

So why did she do what she did?

In principle, she made herself an anomaly, directly challenging the decision to repeal the law, by committing a crime in public while not having her PP deteriorate. In short, she pretty much broke the law to protect the law. So how did she objectively know that her plan would work?

I had a few discussions on twitter surrounding this, and frankly the “she knows she’s doing the right thing, not for herself but for the greater good” doesn’t cut it for me, nor does the premise of “leap of faith”. To do this, she HAD to have known with certainty that her hue would not deteriorate because if the dominator suddenly activates for her, then it was a pointless act, and more importantly, she was fully aware (as stated in the PP3 novels) that she was committing a crime.

There are cases to be made of course, the first being she knew that Kasei is merely an android and that Akane avoided shooting the brain (effectively keeping Kasei alive), but that still doesn’t establish the fact that Akane does not absolve herself of the act, and again, that she needed to objectively know this would work. This is theory time, but the only thing I can think about are two specific things, one in the film, one not.

Defying Sibyl orders to enact her own operation in the Kuril Islands - this is directly disobeying Sibyl, using her Chief Inspector authority to assign temporary roles to Kogami and Frede so they could participate, loading the Stronskaya Docs to her Dominator and giving it to the General, all these, unsanctioned and should have at least raised her PP. My guess is, in the aftermath, she noticed that it had not, despite the scale and the effort and potential losses had things gone wrong, and decided that was enough to go ahead with the “answer” she found for herself.

She had to have procured a gun. This was not in the film - but procuring the gun establishes her intent/motive, and should have also raised her PP - my guess is it did not. This would have been sufficient, but you can imagine, until the point of carrying the gun to the venue (probably hidden inside her hat), the fact that she wasn’t flagged basically made it certain her plan would not fail.

In the June 25 roundtable (link) , Director Shiotani wished that if he had 3 more minutes to add, he would have added a scene right after Atsushi’s death where the men in the roundtable ultimately decided to proceed with the abolition of the law. In hindsight, I think adding this scene would have been better, because it takes away room for interpretation that Akane was actually in a desperate situation, and not just frustrated at the close of the case. In the movie, this was supplemented by Kogami’s line “what Tonami said is probably going to come true, the law will likely be abolished.” Not as desperate, if you ask me.

Deviants

The difference between Akane and Atsushi is that, Atsushi, in his capacity as a double agent and methodology as a Bifrost inspector, is like a puppet master holding the strings, indirectly enabling change and leaving mere traces of his impact while others either take full credit (or fall) from it, whereas Akane pushes change by directly challenging Sibyl head-on. We have yet to clarify Atsushi’s motivations in rising the ranks of Bifrost (he was alluded to be on the way to being a congressman or that he had the talents for it), and the fact that he’s played double agent for so long with his methods steadily growing shady over time just goes to show that there was clearly a better way (and he ofc acknowledges it).

In the same way a CA can only be recognized by Sibyl by committing crimes OR if a Dominator was wrongly pointed at them, Sibyl becomes aware of these deviants (I’m gonna call them that) the moment they start defying Sibyl while being able to keep their hues clear. Perhaps Atsushi would be an imperfect version of a deviant, Akane the better one, and Arata probably the ideal despite being CA, sort of like Genesis 3-4’s Makami Sou. It would be interesting if Akane becomes APA, let’s see (read the Genesis links above 🙂).

“Do you believe in the potential of humans?”

Post-op Akane was forcibly promoted to Atsushi’s role (iirc, a Department Head of Statistics in the Ministry of Welfare c/ o Steohsama's translation). I think it can be read two ways: one, in the context of the recently closed case, to get her fully out of the way and busy with other, bigger stuff that she was already dipping her toes in prior to Atsushi’s death (referred to during their convo, about her not “making a fuss”). Two, that she really did have the aptitude to be someone like Atsushi— only that her methods would clearly be different. Now that she’s back in the CID, there’s obviously a question of Akane’s future as a statutory enforcer (fun fact, the creators pretty much confirmed that it’s just a name for someone judged according to the law but whose PP did not deteriorate / someone who was appointed as an enforcer whose PP is below regulation ( link / link ). If Hinakawa will be promoted to an Analyst, then there’s a spot open for her in Division 1, assuming she’ll be playing detective. While I think this is likely to happen, I think it’s a boring outcome for her. Like Atsushi, I want her to move up in the world, especially if the world is gearing towards Sibyl going public. It’s going to be interesting what role she’ll play in the future, especially because, as Niki had so nicely put, “she can’t do this alone”.

Oh, Koaka.

Objectively, I no longer think the ship is romantic in canon. I’m gonna copy-paste some thoughts I already shared at length in discord and edit parts of it, but if you’ve seen me the last few months, this isn’t new.

This is nitpicking, because I'm a writer and facts like they don't know each other, not really (they spent not more than 100 days in s1, maybe a few days in PPP) are things that are at the back of my mind always. I have yet to see Kogami and Akane treat each other more than the pedestals they put each other on (arguable for Akane but I think this is also why she keeps getting disappointed that their sense of justice doesn't align).

This divide between their sense of justice is their biggest flaw as a potential couple, and one that is too fundamental. I do not see compromise here, especially after the events of PPP. If Kogami were to gear towards a positive change, then there’s hope, but I leave very little room for that now. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing, either. I see it as a potential stance that the show is trying to make. “You murdered someone, you can’t go back.” If he had been heading towards change it should have been on the way for a while, not a “possibility” that he keeps failing to live up to. Getting over this hopeful assumption took me a while, but I think that it also helped me appreciate the wider story being told.

That being said, I think that romance in stories is important and I would like to see the writing team go there, not just from a shipping perspective but from a storytelling/amping up stakes perspective. In PPP I felt how Gino was much, much closer to Akane, and I didn't see this previously. In the past he was more like a controlling dad esp in s2, undermining Akane's POV, improved a bit in the pp movie though he still felt a bit on the overprotective i know better than you side (nicely resolved in ppp where we see a piece of his mind btw)— there's a whole lot of trust there. With Kogami and Akane, while they cleared the air after the infirmary scene, once again I saw that trust shaken when he shot Tonami.

These characters are depicted as human beings, and I think that entails grounding. While meaningful connections can be made through short moments (destiny, if you will), relationships built over time like literally and not let's have a nice moment in a film i'll see you next movie kind of thing, is something that, to me, means more. That said, Kogami was separated for a long time and it's lichrally impossible, but they're in the same place now. Where does that lead them? This is where part of my hope lies, small as it may be. Granted, this is not that kind of show and I'm fully aware of that, which is also why I'm happy to get what we get and that artists/fic writers are there to fill those gaps.

I still ship them but a lot less— I find it funny because even before PPP, I was always looking for more (I'm greedy haha!). I always saw the PPFI scene as just the beginning of their relationship— I wasn't convinced that scene was enough, despite the romantic undertones. And let me tell you the betrayal I felt when I found out the reason why they did the whole back to back thing in PP0308 was because... IT WAS AWKWARD FOR HIM TO CROUCH DOWN THE LITTLE WINDOW OF HER CELL and not the little romantic shit I had going on in my head— I just ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻

I went through the five stages of grief but at the same time it's not as bad since it's not like I didn't think that way from the start (it's just me being anal about it all, really. Because I would end up writing whatever I wanted anyway and canon didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things).

I do like their dynamic now given the recent developments, Kogami especially being particularly unskilled in the romance department just makes it all the more funny (I'm not capable of writing him that way though so I guess all my fics are ooc now 🤣). If they don't develop past the Arguably Platonic™️ way they treat each other then I won't be surprised if I stop creating for the ship, likely bec it will no longer satisfy my enjoyment of it.

Final Thoughts

I think it’s pretty much confirmed we’re getting more, it’s just a matter of when (can’t believe I’m staying here forever, huh?). Director Shiotani wishes that he will be making PP in the next 30 years, gotta love him for that.

As the series progresses, there was a clear tonal shift and hopeful direction it seems to be heading towards. To me this is partially because in a practical sense, this benefits the prolonging of the show (which we already know is true), but in a thematic sense, destroying Sibyl means the end of the series overall. No Psycho Pass without the Psycho Pass. And to this I give credit where it’s due. This is not the kind of progress you’ll see if Urobuchi is still in the writer’s room, and frankly, the complexity and depth of the show ever since he left has pretty much taken off in great strides. I had wished they were heading towards a natural conclusion (Sibyl going public) and leave it alone for a decade before they pick it up again, but I guess the producers have other plans. After all, they don’t have any other IP that has withstood the test of time, is ahead of its time and continued to remain relevant as time went on. While not perfect, this is an amazing feat of a series, and this movie is a stellar addition to it.

They’ve got a dilemma of course, because until now it seems they went with a serialized format (with a definite ending) versus an episodic one (criminal of the week). By choosing to expand the world and explore other facets of society, all the while connecting the threads in an overarching plot, they have to complete the “passing of the torch" before going back to an episodic format, which means they MUST give the new kids their time of day,̶ a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶x̶c̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶e̶c̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶e̶t̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶n̶k̶s̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶l̶a̶i̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶l̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶S̶h̶i̶z̶u̶k̶a̶. Shifting the timelines allowed them to usher in the new cast, but now they’re marketing the legacy cast and have to contend with their obvious popularity compared to the new, fully knowing that the legacy cast is returning to the back seat once we kick things off again. This is a problem that can be solved if a spinoff is decided for SAD, because at least a chunky (huehue) part of the cast will be cordoned off doing their business in Dejima, while the CID with its usual players can stay where they are. I think if you’ve been following Director Shiotani though, this is not happening without him in the driver’s seat, so it’s like… if they’re smart he will delegate this task to someone he trusts and we’ll get both a main and a spinoff, then a converging point somewhere in the form of a movie. 🎶Psycho-pass forever!🎶 (to the tune of Emilia Clarke "best season ever" GOT S8 interview, iykyk).

Finally, I’m just gonna say that I love Akane so much, I’m glad she got the spotlight on her in this film. To be able to experience this film is unforgettable, I’m so grateful that it was possible for me. I’m training myself to expect she’ll take a step back next time I see her, but more than anything, I hope to see her happiness fulfilled, no matter what that entails. Once more, I just can’t thank these creators enough. They’ve made a series and a world I’m obsessed with, makes me think and makes me evaluate its implications in real life, makes me create!!!!! I’m so happy that they continue to believe in the stories they want to tell. I hope they are all healthy and resting now (until the next one, eheh!)

I’ve talked way too much and it’s really just because I want this out of my plate so I can start writing my fics now lololol. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! Always happy to discuss!

#psycho pass #psycho pass providence #pp #akane tsunemori #kogami shinya #ginoza nobuchika

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loosingmoreletters · 9 months ago

Note

1. Thank you and That One Anon for making the English speaking fandom for Weapon Creator!

2. In the name of bullying Yun Taeheon, I need his reaction to Mun Doyun- aka the B rank assassin that was Shin Junseo’s guild leader. Cuz objectively, Yun Taeheon knows a lot can happen in a year and stuff, but also he’s an S-rank leader of a top guild that is willing to give Shin Junseo just about anything and he still cannot recruit him. And then there’s this B-rank nobody (to him) who specifically hired Shin Junseo - as a D rank weapon creator who could only make an average knife every 20 seconds - BC HE HAD A SKILL THAST DESTROYED THE BLADES HE USED. Literally the same reason!! But no, somehow Yun Taeheon is losing this race.

Even better if he somehow gets more backstory or through some time shenanigans he meets the other Mun Doyun, who is basically the reason Shin Junseo is even as good as he is. Like, the reason sjs learned all he could and stuff. Anyway, yth being objectively, obviously on a higher level than this dude and yet still absolutely seething at the very idea of how much he apparently is not measuring up. How do you think that should go?

also, looking at the firsts chapter and think the first chapter and I think Sjs could be the little kid at the very beginning? Meaning that he has grown up in he world of hunters and gates, giving some cool world building to how this is a whole generation of ppl growing up with gates and magic.

However, for the sake of getting more of your sugar daddy au, I am ignoring that. Or maybe it could be incorporated, like- yth was trying to figure out how to ask sjs for just, an actual relationship. And sjs had stopped their contract after signing onto the guild. Extra tension!! Cuz obviously yth wasn’t gonna reach out and be like, “Hey, so that didn’t work out…”

glad to be of service!!!!! taking it from the bottom here, you mean this kid?

Huh! Now that you mention it, that could track! Would be rather interesting too as I'd put this kid somehwere between 8 and 12, which implies dungeons have been a thing for much longer than just a couple of years. Tho I assumed the adult in the next panel was YTH, so hmmm. But also what does this say about the state of his family. where the fuck are they. I need answers. And also I'd love some worldbuilding around growing up in such a world. In SCTIR, one of my fave things is to linger on like, the first weeks after the dungeon breaks. how did legislation change, the government, the way people reacto to this-

"In the name of bullying YTH" man we really all just took a look at this guy, who is probably meant to be like a cool badass character and decided we shall treat him like our sibling's new boyfriend and thus make fun of hinm. huh. god given right to bully the man.

But yeah, do you think YTH assumed just a little bit that SJS had like weird trauma. and also like- okay full confession time. when I started reading this, I assumed this guy would be our love interest second protag. I mean. look at him and SJS reaction to praise

and the way SJS also thinks of this guild in the future memories he receives? a place where he was accepted, found friends, where they kept pushing forward together- Listen. also the way it lingers on MDY's body there. I'm just saying, the vibes are accurate. to me.

Anyway, YTH does have the vibes of somebody who is incredibly understanding but privately also has beef with a dead man. he knows it's unfair and stupid, but also he could buy SJS a god damn pent house apartment. he would. that and any item he wants. actually I just realized while typing this would've been really fucking great to insert into my little soulmate fanfic given I did toss in like one sided bonds existing there. something to consider for the future.

But man, I think it would be interesting if SJS is confronted with him again also in the context of like, SJS not recognizing MDY's brother despite his future memories, which sure has some implication. I told a friend that like my assumption is that Mun Dojin died in the other timeline and I desperately need him and SJS to talk because even if the memories SJS has never actually existed here, that still sort of makes him the only person MDJ can talk to.

actually, man. this would make anything SJS/YTH even funnier. here's your crush. there's your crush's vampire familier and his ex guildmaster's (former bf's??????) little brother. god I need MDJ and Elizabeth to show up more often. slkdfhsldkh sorry got entirely off track here.

OKAY BACK TO SUGAR DADDY AU- I just realized how fucking hilarious this would also be because like. SJS manages to bag one man and it's this big shot guild leader. and instead of signing up with his guild, he goes to these small nobodies. like, it probably just makes sense to SJS. This was a job, now here is another, newer job. Life goes on.

YTH meanwhile is the math meme. Min Huisu told him to get a social life. he paid someone for that, but the guy turns out to be actually cute and fun, so he'd like to have a relationship that is not just superifical. and this guy just. mcfucking signs on to a guild he hasn't even heard of. f in the fucking chat

#somebody should start a wiki for this fandom btw so i don't have to keep looking things up in the chapters #not me tho i'm already busy contributing to another wiki #weapon creator #sorry this god so rambly and all over the place i'm v exited #jacqtacq #ask

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stillness-in-green · 10 months ago

Text

Favorite Characters of 2023

Saw this meme template by @limayde and had to drop anything more productive because I Love Character Memes. I tried to focus on characters who particularly signified 2023 in fandom for me, not necessarily just my favorites in any given fandom, and certainly not my favorites of all time! So consider it a reasonable representation of what I read/was reading/was still thinking about last year.

(I'm also relatively sure I could fill this out entirely with BNHA characters, but if I were to do that, it would be with the goal of representing how much I was thinking about said characters in terms of Fix-It Fic(s) Brainstorming, rather than simply how much I like them. Yoichi would be prominent in the former and not present at all in the latter, for example.)

Anyway, after much painstaking cropping, here it is!

(A full list of who all these people are and a blurb apiece of my thoughts on them, as well as the meme template, can be found beneath the cut!)

Most Favorite Blorbo(s) of 2023

Lord Glück and Macht of El Dorado (Sousou no Frieren) – Macht's was the arc that turned me around on Frieren's treatment of demons—he’s so interesting, and so tragic, totally set in his ways while also yearning to change them. Glück, meanwhile, is so devoted to his word, blunt in his assessment of Macht’s character but wholly sincere about trying to give him the knowledge and environment he needs to change. My BF asked me for the spoiler-free version of what I liked about them, and the best I can sum it up as is, “A mutual acceptance despite the parts of each other they can’t understand,” and, “They’ve made each other promises that go all the way to end, to the goddamn end.” Thirty years of that! I am once again begging on my hands and knees for Frieren to get a second season, and also, if the universe really loves me, to end the first season with a tease for the Golden City.[1]

(I cheated a bit here; the central square is intended for a single supreme fave, not center-mounting one's OTP. I am, however, entirely incapable of picking one of those two above the other. Also, putting them both there does bring the character count to a nice even 50.}

1: A second tease. There’s actually been one already, a reference to Macht’s enchanted jewelry, squirreled away in some on-screen text—one of the anime’s many additions to the background detail compared to the manga.

12 Characters vs. 12 Months In A Year. Coincidence? Probably!

(Starting at the top left corner and moving clockwise.)

Shigaraki Tomura (BNHA) – 2023 was the year Shigaraki Tomura got his groove back, thank heavens. While he didn’t get much material in which to speak his own mind—really just Chapters 379 and 411, a full year apart (the latter didn’t officially come out until just a few days ago; we just got the leaks a week early). We’ll see how he holds up going forward, but even those few scenes effortlessly demonstrate just how profound a waste of time handing AFO the reins to the end game was. Here’s to not letting Heroes off the hook in the new year!

Iguchi Shuuichi/Spinner (BNHA) – Spent a lot of 2023 worrying about this guy. Still am worried about this guy. But him turning the tides of the war at the end of 2022 shifted the whole course of the battle, and new we’ve got Shigaraki invoking The Horizon to finally give us incontrovertible evidence that Shigaraki and Spinner have talked about more than just video games! 2024 is shaping up Spinaraki!

Yotsubashi Rikiya/Re-Destro (BNHA) – I provide fanart for this man because, of course, he was in the actual canon not at all last year, absent a single flashback panel from Hose Face, not at all making up for what a caricature that character was otherwise. All the good Re-Destro content I was getting last year was thanks to @nickfoo’s wonderful, wonderful fanart of him. Thanks for continuing to give this guy love, foo! (full art here)

Geten (BNHA) – Himura backstory reveal! And that revelation accounted for the only fanfic I posted last year at all, as well as being super satisfying in terms of largely clearing Todoroki Enji of the responsibility for the heteromorphobic microaggressions perpetrated by certain of his children, as well as giving us some more hints about Geten and Re-Destro’s relationship. Exquisite. (Now just let him have something to say that isn’t mostly there to Contextualize Dabi.)

Vamirio/Anne from Management (Helck) – I reread Helck last year in celebration of its anime, and just to reiterate this again, Vamirio and her determination lead her to make firm stands and fiery declarations about her combat role and priorities that Deku has never even fuckin’ thought about. Vamirio a best; vote Vamirio for Head of Management.

Samuel Murphy +Hal and Nobu (Canis: The Speaker) – Sam’s my favorite of another inseparable trio, probably because, at least as an adult, he’s the most vulnerable—not simply because he lacks the firearms or goons that his partners’ positions allow them to call to hand, but also because of his struggles with insomnia. Whip-smart, observant, and well-spoken, and I always have had a preference for the smart ones.

Jasper (Steven Universe) – I started reading @faelapis’s post-canon Jasper exploration fic Something Better last year and absolutely fell in love with it. It reminded me all over again how much I love Jasper, and how much I wanted a story that gave her all the time she needed to change.

Somei Yoshino (Yakuza Fiancée) – Last year saw the anime announcement and Yoshino’s totally amazing bathtub fight with Azami, which I guess there are cowards out there who didn’t like? RIP to them but I’m different, I guess! I’ll watch Yoshino break her terrible suitors’ fingers any time!

Wolfgang Grimmer (Monster) – Reread the back half of Monster last year solely because I love Grimmer and wanted to read his material again. A perennial favorite, manga and character alike. I love a man held together with scotch tape, stitches and good intentions.

Boutarou the Pirate (Golden Kamuy) – Probably not my actual favorite character in the series, but I finally got to see him in anime form last year after a maddening wait thanks to the delay in 2022. Shiraishi’s best ship and a feral merman (look at the way he uses his hair and tell me I'm wrong) that someone unaccountably let walk around on dry land. A+ character.

Sailor Cosmos (Sailor Moon) – Speaking of characters with a huge wait on seeing them in the anime..! God, I’ve wanted anime Sailor Cosmos since high school, and I’m thrilled to finally get her (and the merch that would accompany her).

Mitaka Asa (Chainsaw Man) – I read the first half of Chainsaw Man a while back, largely on the basis of @robotlesbianjavert’s enthusiasm, and while I enjoyed it well enough, particularly Denji’s assorted travails, I never got super invested in it because, not having to wait week to week for releases, there was never really enough time to get attached to most characters before they got unceremoniously offed. Whether it’s the week-to-week wait or just that I like Asa as a character more, she’s really done the job of getting me interested in the series. I love this loser failgirl and I want only the best for her; while I doubt that’s what she’ll get, at least I can watch her torture logic to make sick weapons and have affecting scenes about her own crippling inadequacy issues in the meantime.

36 Others

(As before, starting on the top left and moving clockwise through the BNHA Zone.)

Scarecrow/Spinner’s Number 2 (BNHA) – Scarecrow’s big speechifying moments would have been back in autumn of 2022, but I still loved him more than enough in 2023 for him to make this grid. He was reduced to a shallow caricature and still had to get knocked off a roof because no one could actually out-argue him, and through all of that unendurable authorial laziness, his potential still shines through for me. Stan the MLA, MLA 5Evah.

Toga Himiko (BNHA) – The only Villain whose Hero foil plotline is working for me on any level, though a lot is hanging on whether or not she, y’know, lives. She definitely should have gotten to stab the bejeezus out of Hawks, and Ochaco should definitely go on the run with her once Apple Cheeks realizes that the HeroAca justice system could not possibly be relied upon to do anything other than throw Toga in a hole for a few years before executing her.

Gentle Criminal (BNHA) – The only redeemed villain whose regard for Deku functions at all thematically. Lady N’s return is hogswash on multiple levels, but I will defend Gentle’s without reservation.

Kunieda + Aoyama Yuuga (BNHA) – Consider these two to be a stand-in for all the thinking I did last year about Fix-It Fic scenarios for this whole final arc. For example, Kunieda in the canon speaks far too knowledgeably both about and to Aoyama for them to be total strangers, so why not plant some seeds for their confrontations earlier? I ask the reader to consider this:

In a version of the Edgy Deku arc that allowed the rest of 1-A to get out into the world to help out with relocation efforts, they one day come across a scene of dread: a neighborhood full of corpses and Kunieda’s flowers. Aoyama has a noticeably shaken reaction, which he plays off as just horror to his similarly horrified classmates, but the truth is that he’s got prior history with Kunieda—AFO didn’t plop corpses in front of his parents to intimidate them (because that’s ham-handed and silly), but bodies were still involved. They’d turn up buried in the family's fancy gardens sometimes, always heralded by those vivid red-black flowers…

Frieren (Sousou no Frieren) – I was relatively neutral on the title character until the anime came out and I had to suffer through The Discourse about her attitude towards demons (arguments on both sides tending to be poorly considered and ignorant, both of canonical details and real-world relevance). That made me a bit more defensive of her, but even setting my contrarianism aside, I was also very pleased with how she navigated the manga’s most recent arc.[2] She’s maybe the first character I can think of who I have actively wanted to write Asexual Representation fic for, if only because my answer to, “Does she Romantically Love Himmel?” is much more complex than just saying, “No, she only saw him as a friend,” or, “Yes, and now she’s going to be sad about her Tragically Lost Love for the rest of her life and we need to write all the fix-it fics about that.”

2: She wants to go home! Her feelings for Himmel, whatever they are, are of less importance to her than going home! Despite everything we know about how she perceives time, she still values her “now” more than her lost “then”! My gloating aside, though, I was far more affected by the sword scene than I was the wedding attire or the near kiss. Being trapped in a wedding illusion? Trite, overplayed. Being trapped in a wedding illusion yet still being able to wrap your hands around your partner’s arm and faithfully guide them into drawing the sword neither of you can perceive? Now that’s intimacy!

Heiter (Sousou no Frieren) – While I had little overall use for the aforementioned most recent arc of Frieren, I did very much enjoy my favorite member of the Hero Party getting a moment to demonstrate what being The Priest Of The Party That Defeated The Demon King actually means in practice. Grausam being unable to put him down with an illusion? Being the only one who could defend his downed companions? The sheer level of trust he has in Himmel? A little bit of vulnerability where he’s bare seconds away from getting gibbed by Grausam? Heiter is the member of the party that we get the least amount of in on: Sein didn’t stay with the party long enough to serve as a point of comparison, and despite Heiter raising Fern, she didn’t assume his role in the new group, like Stark did Eisen’s, nor do her reminiscences about him get anywhere near the amount of screentime that Frieren’s do of Himmel. So for real, you guys, Chapter 118 was so good.

Edward (Shadows House) – *bangs fists on table* WORST BOY WORST BOY WORST BOY!! Anime Edward is pants, but Manga Edward is where it’s at, always keeping Kate scrambling, always coming out on top of his maneuverings against his peer group rivals, just flappable enough that his victories doesn’t look effortless, and engaging enough that his smugness feels earned rather than intended to turn the reader against him. I have no idea how the story is going to deal with the adult shadows, who are after all still just as brainwashed and wronged by Grandfather’s workings as the kids are! If anything, they’re worse off, having already been manipulated into losing the “faces” they must once have loved dearly. Thus, while Kate and her allies certainly approach the conflict with a very Us vs. Them, Adults=The Enemy mentality, the screentime Edward’s own affairs get, fully independent of how they intersect with Kate’s, along with an avowed desire to improve the House that parallels Kate’s, make me hopeful that the authors have something a little more nuanced in mind than, “Free the current victims by wiping out all the previous ones.”

Melinda Desmond (Spy x Family) – The main cast are all perfectly fine, but Melinda is interesting. Super curious to find out more about the Desmond family dynamics, and I love Melinda bouncing around with Yor. (I swear, though, judging by the collective response to the most recent chapter, the fandom is going to turn me into a Donovan Apologist yet. Only one member of that family has visible scars suggesting brain surgery, folks!!)

Anti/Knight/Gridknight (Gridman Universe) – Always my favorite single character from both Gridman and Dynazenon, and he was characteristically great in the movie as well. His scene with Akane at the end was only my second favorite beat because, while it’s wonderful emotionally cathartic (more fanservice like this, please!), it’s also kind of muddled thanks to the idea of Gridman!Anti and Dynazenon!Knight being two separate entities. Churlish to hold that against it, though, when it's so heartfelt.

Minami Yume + Asanaka Yomogi (Gridman Universe) – Such a great pairing in their own show—I once saw someone call them forced, which has always struck me as just being too high on Bashing The Hets to see that Yomogi and Yume have a great arc towards getting together, actually. Seeing them be unabashedly together and happy about it in the film was 100% delightful and deserved. Yume swooping down out of the sky on Dynarex to scoop up her wifeguy boyfriend is my actual favorite beat in the movie.

Hyura (Helck) – Firstly, the dry humor around Hyura is fantastic. (“Something like an arm grows back simply enough. That’s just common sense.” “It doesn’t, right?” “It does not.”) Secondly, she’s the biggest badass in the secondary cast. Thirdly, she and Edil have the designated rival ship dynamic (incredibly rare to see across gender lines in shounen manga), and Hyura holds her own all the way to the end. Hyura is great.

Mikaros (Helck) – “Yes, we may have lost some assets and I personally shattered the mind of one of our strongest soldiers, removing him from the playing field. But the important thing is that I personally overcame my trauma, so overall it’s a win.” What a slimeball. What a total heap. And what an excellent example of the end-stage stakes driving the title character's choice in the epilogue! I love Mikaros unreservedly.

Harold Aldo Hughes and Iwaki Tadanobu + Sam (Canis: The Speaker) – Transformation, reinvention, the fierceness of devotion and the ruthlessness of rebirth—I don’t love them quite as much as I do Sam, but they’re also both great.

Hera (Lore Olympus) – Lore Olympus is one of those series I read more because it’s interesting enough while also being blisteringly gorgeous than because I’m deeply invested in the characters, but the plotline about Hera and Kronos really has pulled me all the way into active, character-specific interest. Great, tense, painful stuff. Can’t wait to see where she goes following recent events.

Redcloak (Order of the Stick) – His last really insightful and heartwrenching scene was in the year before last—that fantastic exchange with Oona!—but for as long as I’m reading OOTS, Redcloak is going to be a favorite. God, the Law Elemental summoning is so funny.

Hyness (Kirby franchise) – This one’s entirely on my sis-in-law—like another character further down the list, I am not remotely “in” the Kirby fandom. But what can I say—tell me about a warped cult leader who started in a bad place and only got worse who still managed to get saved by the Hero taking a leap of faith that paid off, and tell me the fandom calls him a horrible abuser? Sorry, but I Have No Choice But To Stan. (full art here)

Lafcadio Boone (The Sexy Brutale) – Replayed this again last year, and it’s still great. In a sense, despite its sizeable named cast, it really only has the one character, and his story is such that I want to make every single person on tumblr that gets hyperbolic about the forgiveness and redemption of fictional wrongdoers play this game. “Time to move on, old man,” indeed.

Sissel (Ghost Trick) – Finally got the remaster of this and replayed it, and it’s also still great. Knowing The Spoilers about Sissel seriously make replays such a scream, but also man is this game really sitting on some completely over-the-top darkness not at all far beneath its candy apple red and Matrix-text green surface.

Pavitr Prabhakar/Spider-Man India (Across the Spider-Verse) – Strictly in terms of character writing, he’s very fun, but I don’t think he’s as strong as Spider-Punk or Miguel O'Hara, but on the other hand, he’s so much fun, especially to simply watch in motion. Most of the rest of the leads, however varied their artstyles might be, still feel like they move in basically the same ways, just with varying levels of grace vs. power, intent vs. controlled collapse, but because of the way Pavitr uses his thread, he moves completely differently, and it’s just a ton of fun to watch. The first character I went hunting for fanart of when I got out of the movie theater.

Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman (Across the Spider-Verse) – I have outstanding affection for Spider-Gwen from reading her comics back when, but that opening Vulture fight, the fantastic look of her dimension, and all the trans signaling kept her right at the top, too.

Brutha (Discworld: Small Gods) – @codenamesazanka read this and a few of the Watch books last year, prompting me to do some rereads as well, and Brutha and Small Gods remain very dear to me. I only wish more artists would draw versions of him that remotely resemble “fat, simple-looking young man from a desert country in fantasy!expy!Middle East” rather than “suspiciously trim and Benedictine.”

Sam Vimes (Discworld series) – Ditto on Nal’s read above, but also chatted with foo a lot about this guy, and he’s been my favorite single character in the series since high school. It takes very little to prompt me to reread his books generally, but last year was the first time I’ve had it in me to reread Snuff, as it was previously a little too tied up in my feelings about the last few books prior to Pratchett’s death. Regardless of anything else, though, Snuff is the book for Sam/Sybil.

Mina Murray (#DRCL: Midnight Children) – Discovered this lush chonk of horror phantasmagoria last year and I’m kind of in love with it. Its take on Mina anchors it well—she’s smart and fiery but up against ingrained sexism and classism in her setting, and not too Anachronistic Grrl Power to not be hurt by that sometimes; she’s stubborn, but vulnerable to the supernatural horrors in the way any child would be. An unreliable but intriguing and sympathetic narrator.

Capone Bege (One Piece) – The other character I got onto largely without getting into the series he hails from, nickfoo—whose art I again use to illustrate—does great work with this guy, a once-jovial monster shocked back from that moral brink by marriage and fatherhood. Still gets a bit Into It at work, but tries not to bring it home, at least as much as that can be avoided when carrying both family and crew around in the same heart/sub-dimensional space. (Also, foo’s version of Bege is great, but her rendition of Chiffon is—speaking as someone who doesn’t read the series and can only gauge by image search or skimming the wiki—borderline miraculous, accurate to Oda’s lively caricature design, but so much more sensitive, expressive and human.)

Prince Kazu/Lady Chikako (Ooku: The Inner Chambers) – On the occasion of the Netflix anime, I finally tracked down and finished Ooku last year, and when I tell you that I laughed more and harder in the final arc than I did through the entire rest of the series combined… The Kyoto cast members are a big part of why,[3] and none more delightful than the stuffy, prideful, possessive, and deeply impetuous Chikako, one of the most singularly human characters in the whole 19-volume melodrama.

3: Catty ex-male prostitute turned head of the Inner Chambers Takiyama is the other part of this equation, by the way.

Gao Shun (The Apothecary Diaries) – Long-suffering stoics are my absolute favorite type, and that holds true even though Gao Shun's stoicism has been largely a humorous beat thus far. I want this guy to get more attention, but until then, I will continue to enjoy his weary exasperation every time he has to deal with Mao Mao’s eccentricities/Jinshi’s enthusiasm about same.

Mao Mao (The Apothecary Diaries) – Best female character of the season, for sure, but I’ve been reading one of the manga for a while now, and she’s a regular delight. Eccentric and ruthless by turns, painfully aware of the limitations of her position and yet wholly willing to make her own decisions and exert her own agency within those limitations without ever concerning herself with whether she should ask permission from or report to someone above her rank. Mao Mao’s mercy takes the form of knowing when to speak and when to demure, and every time I see some stuck-in-their-own-ethical-framework commenter complain about her moral compass, I appreciate it harder.

Accustomizer Stud/Tiffany (Angelic Acceptor Alouette) – Enthusiastically resourceful teenage girl who would probably be super into transhumanism if she hadn’t fallen in with angels (sic) instead, transforming into the gloriously nonbinary pile of muscles and amazing hair that is Accustomizer Stud, Tiffany’s ultimate expression of her inner self. Stud is magnanimous, gracious, and well-spoken, and they are also VERY LOUD AND FIGHTY. My absolute favorite character in a game wall-to-wall with great characters.

Yuunagi Tsubasa/Cure Wing (Hirogaru Sky PreCure) – The first Official Boy Cure with absolutely no provisos or qualifications or ways to wiggle out of it, and the show gets him just right by playing him basically completely straight. Has a costume no one would look twice at in a magical girl line-up, wastes no time on masculine embarrassment at his frills, with the only nod he/the show make towards his gender at all being to frame his role as being a knight to a princess, rather than simply a guardian to one, but it’s not really what he’s about. His actual character is driven by knowledge, studiousness, and a desire to overcome the limitations placed on him by being a human/pudgy flightless bird fairy.

Kei Miyama (Go With the Clouds, North By Northwest) – Something of a stand-in for his series generally, which I read the two most recent volumes of last year and fell in love with all over again—particularly the most recent one, which switches deftly between depictions of shattering, world-hollowing grief and the beguiling intimacy of the rhythms of life and nature. But my love for the manga itself aside, Kei’s a great protagonist, full of little contradictions and snags that make him feel much more fleshed out and grounded than your average animanga male lead, even as he’s running around doing very Animanga Male Lead Things, like solving mysteries by using his Strange Power to get information a normal person could not.

Lord El-Melloi II/Waver Velvet (Fate franchise) – Waver is possibly my favorite character of all time in any medium, so it takes very little to rekindle the love. In last year's case, it took the Fate/strange Fake special! Love to see my boy continue to wrest more narrative space for himself than he was originally allotted by virtue of being a run-away audience favorite of the Fate/Zero anime!

Ivan (Giant Robo: The Day the Earth Stood Still) – Got the remastered Blu-ray last year as a gift, and guess what? I still love Ivan in all his cartoonish mini-boss villainy layered over the pathos of tragic loss and resentment. Honestly, I can only assume he’s as well-adjusted as he is because Alberto is so inspiring to work in close quarters with (mood), because otherwise I’d think it pretty unfair that the sole surviving Bashtarle national in the story gets so little to say about/to the people who blew it up.

Isurugi Camice (Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans) – I was a bit too preoccupied with BNHA meta last year to think much about my prior fandom phase, but I still made time to rotate Isurugi in my mind from time to time. As one of my beloved long-suffering stoics, I can always make that kind of time for him. (Image source is from the cover of a doujinshi I have, because melancholy BL doujinshi is definitely more the kind of tonal zone my mental rotations were occupying than they were canon’s!)

And, finally, the blank

(If anyone reading this wants to give it a whirl, I reccommend blowing it up to x2 size; makes the small squares easier to work with.)

#memes #MEEEEEEEEMES #bnha #sousou no frieren #helck #magical girls and sundry shounen #small nonweeb corner #gundam ibo #fate whatever #sorry to the non-mutuals for the random tag-in #thank you for your fic/your meme grid and have an amazing new year

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mistressoftherant-blog · 1 year ago

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TMNT Crossover Fics and Trauma

Something I find really weird about some writers in the TMNT fandom is the absolute insistence that if a bunch of different iterations met up, they would all be horrified at what happened in Rise, being shocked that they've gone through such terrible things at their age, and then would coddle the living daylights out of the 18 boys after learning about their Krang/Shredder. Warning, spoilers ahead.

Don't get me wrong, the Rise boys do go through a lot of traumatising incidents at a young age, and if you consider the other turtles to be older than them when they meet they probably would try to help out. It's just, every iteration of the turtles goes through a lot of traumatising events at a young age, and most crossover fics just seem to sweep these under the rug to prioritise Rise.

I guess this is fine if Rise is your fave version and that's all you want to look at, but it always comes across as weird to me when you have characters from 12 for instance being like oh no, 'one of you got possessed and forced to fight the others, one of you got melded with a piece of tech, one of you almost got locked in a prison dimension, and your city was invaded by Krang, etc, I can't even imagine the suffering you have been through', when all of these things have happened to the 12 boys before, some even multiple times.

They've all been possessed/mind controlled and used against their brothers, Donnie merged with the Speed Demon, the Krang have invaded their city, their entire world was destroyed! Same with 03, they've been possessed/mind controlled, their city was taken over by the Demon Shredder (and Don saw the SAINW Shredder controlled world), they had to fight at least five Shredders, one of whom was also a demon, etc etc Also, as most of the other series ran for longer than Rise (trust me, I am also annoyed that we didn't get more of the 18 boys as 18 was the first show to properly get me into TMNT and I do love it), they also went through more traumatic events than the 18 boys.

Again, I am not trying to say that what the 18 boys went through isn't traumatic, because they definitely had a lot of bad stuff happen to them. But it does feel so weird to dimish everything that the other turtles went through when they were pretty much the same age as the Rise boys.

Take, Donnie: In 03 he's double mutated at least twice, tortured by an invasive mind probe that also electrocuted him, lost a friend to another dimension, got sent to an alternative future and learns that another of his friend and his father are dead before he watched his brothers get killed in front of him, believed himself to be responsible for the loss of his father and went through his own mini depression arc trying to cope with thlle guikt whilst working to bring him back, and that's all off the top of my head.

Poor 12 Donnie... he has died multiple times one of which was beinh literally torn apart on a molecular level by a possessed version of the girl he loves, has also been double mutated and/or possessed multiple times (not sure whether being turned into a vampire counts more as death or mutation), has immense guilt over a variety of things that aren't actually his fault (Leo's coma, when they thought Splinter died during the first invasion, everything that happened with Pulverizer), has also been tortured via electrocution to the head, spent an episode being beaten up by his mind controlled brothers only for them to be snapped out of it pizza, is constantly pressured to be able to fix/solve everything and is frequently told he isnt good enough etc etc

Again, these are examples for just 03 and 12 Donnie that come from the top of my head. Looking at other iterations and characters would make this post even longer than it already is, but I think the Donnie examples alone are enough to prove my point.

In conclusion, if you are writing a crossover fic with Rise as the central point of focus, that is completely fine! If you want to mainly prioritise looking at their trauma because the others are older than that is valid. I just wanted to point out that it can come across a little weirdly if you have some of the characters being completely horrified by the events of Rise, and acting like they could never even begin to understand what they have been through when they've all had similar trauma in their own pasts. Or when you have a bunch of characters being like, 'Oh you almost died, you are turning my scales grey', when they have all almost or actually died multiple times.

It's just a little funny to me for example to have any of the 12 sibling act like, 'I can't even imagine how much you must have suffered when you thought Leo was lost in the prison dimension' when their Donnie has legitimately been killed in a horrific way in front of them, their dad has been 'killed' in front of them multiple times, their own Leo pulls self sacrificial stunts, their entire world was destroyed in front of them, etc

This may just be me coming across as a little bitter but, if you are doing a crossover, it doesn't make sense to me why you would just ignore all the events of the other shows completely in order to make it sound like Rise had it the absolute worst. It seems like it would make more sense to have the characters relating to one another around shared or similar traumas 🤷‍♀️

#rottmnt #Tmnt #tmnt 2018 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2007 #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2k12 #Tmnt2k03 #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt leonardo #Tmnt Leo #tmnt raphael #Tmnt raph #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey

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mushibashiraas · 1 year ago

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djsjxjsj i hope i'm not late?? i probably am. aaaa my own faultcjxjsj [but] i haven't written for my fave disney nrc malewife (/j ily, jamil bbg—) in a while. but i forgot the contest either ends on the 10th?? or submissions close on the 10th aka. i missed the deadline?? aaaaa for submissions to @merotwst 's and @cvlutos 's #jamilsummercontest (here) aaaaaa also was this also an excuse to write for najma/write some najma-jamil brother-sister action? uhhhh looks away. LISTEN. i love them! the crumbs we got of their interactions are still on my mind aaaaaa lastly, am i also using this fic as an opportunity to brainrot about the new spiderverse movie and its album? yes.

mention of the ramshackle prefect (gn!yuu). but it'll mainly be about jamil and najma bc i love his sister almost as much. spoilers for al'ab naariya story, scarabia chapter plot, jamil's backstory, and maybe???? a spoiler for the new spiderverse movie?? if you squint. also really bad arabic.... i tried.... other than that, i present very cute, soft fluffy letters between reader and jamil detailing their lives apart during summer break (assuming the scalding sands' fireworks festival is in the summer. aaaa).

jamil could practically see (name)'s red face as they read his letter briefly written amidst the asim family chaos.

Dearest (Name),

Kalim and Najma were disappointed you couldn't join me this year for Summer break. I actually had to stop him from convincing his father into sending for you personally... Camels, elephants, and all. You're welcome!

Despite that, they wish you all well. My mother is insisting I return to NRC after break with some of her homemade shawarma. And please tell Grim that there will be enough for him as well.

The fireworks were beautiful but it wasn't the same without you by my side, ya nujumi. I missed turning to the side and seeing your smiling face, eyes alight with a childlike wonder. My heart swells with remembering that first Al'ab Naariya. You turned back to me urging me to join you and the others to dance.

Najma just asked what I was smiling about. I tried to lie but the smug look on her face told her all she needed to know. She'd like to also say a few words.

Hello, (Name)! My older brother is laying on his bed right now screaming into his pillow. Ya ummi and I are laughing right now; she has never laughed so hard in a long time. Yesterday the Asims gave us the afternoon off to enjoy the bazaar. You should see the haul Jamil brought home for you and Grim. There's— lotliIItLyjkq

Sorry, ya shamsi. Najma does not know what she's talking about. I got them as gifts for her— ljyIL

Jamil is lying! He is so red right now, (Name)! I want to take a picture to send you but he took my phone! So awful, right? Ah, the Asims are calling for us and abina is about to bring out the belt if we don't resume our work soon.

My apologies, ya qamar, but as Najma said, I have to return to work. There are rumors from the other servants that Kalim is "missing." He's probably with the animals in the garden. I will write to you again shortly. You are always in my thoughts, (Name), ya hubi. Make sure to not stay up too late talking to Ace and Deuce. Take your medicine and potions and eat at least two full meals a day (I know you're not a fan of breakfast). Don't forget to drink plenty of water too.

With Love,

Jamil Viper.

he wanted to write more and tell them all about the new stalls selling mouthwatering foods, soft, vibrant, assorted silks, and other painted, colorful wares he saw at the bazaar. he wanted to tell her about the concert he miraculously got tickets to for one of their favorite music artists. there was also the pet parrot his parents finally let him get! it had to stay on the asims' property. but kalim said he'd personally look after iago for jamil.

there was also a new playlist he made the other night after coming home from a movie he and his sister went to see. jamil lays in bed thinking of his sister's latest fictional crush and thinking of all the things he'd do to keep his girl and her father while living his best life doing what he loved. jamil wished that were him. he wished he could have (name) by his side, still please his family, and see the world. he wanted to learn about the magic and cultures of other lands in twisted wonderland.

wishes and reality are two separate things, though. and the chance of them intersecting and wishes becoming reality was slim. for now, though, he was content and letting things be. he'll find kalim, drag him to his next meeting with possible mergers and other clients, read the evening itinerary to kalim, go home, help with dinner, wash and dry najma's hair for her, bathe, and go to bed.

....that was the original plan. however, najma must have thought it funny to hide his headphones after she finished her chores and homework.

"what are you looking for, brother?"

jamil glared at the girl leaning against his door frame as he rifled through the belongings on his desk. "you know exactly what i am looking for. drop the act, najma!"

"not until you write another letter to (name)." she grinned and crossed her arms over her chest, straightening her posture.

"huh?!" he stuttered.

"it was written all over your face. you wanted to write and tell them more about everything that you saw and experienced yesterday and today. ever since you came home from school with your friends and (name), you've changed. mom and dad haven't stopped talking about it; they think i went to bed but i can hear them. they aren't as quiet as they think." the younger sister laughed at jamil's stunned face. "you don't know all this since you sleep like that one princess in those fae tales. i've caught you snoring a few times, actually. wanna hear it? i can show you if you don't believe m—"

jamil grabs najma's phone again before she can pull up the videos. "just—! give me back my headphones. and i'll write to (name)."

"nah," najma shrugged and walked off. "letter first. mom and dad are out finishing up some business with kalim's parents in their estate. you can blast your music all you want."

groaning in exasperation, he still couldn't deny that he'd rather have sent (name) a proper letter rather than the one he mailed earlier that afternoon.

normally, he and (name) would text each other or call. but one magic carpet ride after a rough exam, they told him about how they used to write letters to their childhood friends whenever they'd change schools. so the first time jamil and (name)'s other night raven college friends went home for holiday break, he started writing letters to them. and ever since that sweet, thoughtful surprise, whenever they were apart, jamil'd write letters to them while they'd send back recipe cards with handwritten notes featuring the story behind each food. sometimes they'd drop details about their family back home or include tiny magic trinkets or bits of stationary sold at sam's shop. a note and a smiley face tied around each item: "saw this and thought of you, ya qamar. ;p"

bringing himself back to reality, jamil sat down and began another letter. with this one, though, he made sure not to leave out a single detail of his day. softly he smiled as he included lines from old poets and added in folded star maps, photos of a dog he saw sitting outside a cafe, a tea bag from the little old lady next door. but this time — instead of signing off with a simple "With Love" like his last letter — he penned a lyric from their favorite song, nodding his head to the music as it played from his speakers.

"Your my star, hubi. My one light. We gon' link up, just like the rumors."

Jamil Viper.

VOCAB:

ya shamsi: my sun

ya qamar: my moon

ya nujumi: my stars

hubi/ya hubi: love/my love

ya ummi: my mother

abina: our father

— is2g if i got the arabic vocab wrong, i am going to cry. @softbajis djsjsj idk if this is right or notdjdjdj i am so upset. oh well....?

#jamilssummercontest #twisted wonderland #twst #jamil viper #najma viper #twst najma #twisted wonderland drabbles #twst drabbles

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zoyaofthegardvn · 2 years ago

Note

thank you for doing gods work for the gay girlies... my lil gay heart would explode if you did a "reader gets kidnapped/hurt & love interest goes feral" trope with zoya <33

A Mission Gone Wrong

A/N: One of my most favorite tropes! And Zoya is my fave book character ever, so I'm so glad you requested this! I'm here for the gay girlies always!!!! Hope this makes your little gay heart happy! :)

CW: Mentions of violence and torture, angst and drama, blood, death threats, actual death, fire, explosions, all that fun stuff. Def violent but in my opinion nothing is super graphic, but this is darker than the typical 'who did this to you' trope! So just be aware!

---

"Are you sure you don't want me to send anyone else with you?" Zoya's voice is pleading, near begging you to accept the offer.

Her concern is sweet, but maybe, a bit overbearing. You'd completed many diplomatic trips, investigations, missions of any sort on your own several times. As a Tidemaker, highly skilled in not just the Small Science, but combat too, and incredibly intelligent, you rarely ran into a situation you truly couldn't handle. Then again, since your marriage to the Queen of Ravka, you were hardly ever sent out to do anything even resembling a challenge.

You smile softly at Zoya, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to her pouted lips. "Yes, my love, I think that one Inferni and one Squaller is more than enough," her face begins to contort in skepticism, and you playfully roll your eyes at her. "It will be fine, sweetheart, you worry too much."

She scoffs, as if what you'd just said was an offense. "Maybe I should go with you, it's the only way I'd worry less."

You run your hands up and down her arms, shaking your head at the comment. "And what would the heart of Ravka do without her Queen, Zoya?" She goes to protest, likely to tell you that you're more important, as she's said dozens of times, but you give her a warning look before she can speak up. "I'll be super careful, I always am. You're just stressed because it's the first time in a long time we'll be apart."

She gives you a long look, as if to say, yes, but not only will you be gone, you'll be hours away seeking out rogue and most likely hostile Grisha who don't realize they need your help.

You grin, reading her mind, yet you're still wholly unconcerned. It's been so long since you were out in the field, working intimately with the Grisha whom you've sworn to protect at all costs.

"Zoya, baby, I've done things like this several times, I'll only be gone for a few days, and that's if we even find anyone."

"Then why go? Why you? If there's a chance it won't even amount to anything, why do you have to go?"

You can't help the agitation beginning to grow. You sigh, heavily, and level a glare at her. "Because, this is what I'm good at. It's what I love to do. You know I love the Grisha, you know I'll help them as much as I can. Please, don't try to stop me from doing that."

Her eyes flutter down, and she grabs your hands, playing with the ring on your finger. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you aren't capable. And I wouldn't worry if I was accompanying you, the way that I used to."

You give her hands a squeeze. "I know that, Zoya, but we knew things were going to change when you became Queen."

She looks back up at you and smiles, though the discomfort is still evident on her face. "I know, I know. Just, please... promise me you'll be careful. You won't take unnecessary risks. You'll come home to me."

Your heart speeds up a bit, at the look on her face, the request she's made. "I promise, my love."

---

Hours later, you're atop a horse, riding along a dirt road. The two Grisha accompanying you, Nadine and Ilya, make small talk, inquiring about why the oppressed Grisha may be hostile towards any help you'll offer. You explain that because they've spent so long hiding what they can do, it's difficult to believe that post-war, they all have somewhere they can call home, somewhere they can learn and train. Their lack of education makes them dangerous, because their power is uncontrolled. Lack of control mixed with fear, hesitation, resentment, anger, even jealousy towards Grisha that haven't had to hide themselves since childhood can lead to explosive emotions, causing harm to anyone involved. They nod at everything you say, and eventually, the conversation dies down, and a comfortable silence follows the three of you.

Your thoughts begin to wander, thinking of how you'll approach any potential Grisha. There's been reports of physicians being able to remarkably heal life-threatening injuries in small towns, Healers. Reports of entire gardens and fields blooming back to life after years of lack of care and abandonment, Durasts. But this isn't what you're investigating, it isn't what truly concerns you. It's the reports of fires starting at random, wiping out villages and citizens in an uncontrollable blaze, Inferni. The reports of lakes and ponds suddenly flooding, wiping out travelers and livestock and crops, Tidemakers. The reports of storms occurring on an otherwise sunny and calm day, Squallers. These are the Grisha in most need of help, the ones that have to learn some sort of control before the public handles them themselves. You refuse to believe that they're truly malicious, just lacking any sort of guidance and outlet.

And then, eventually, your thoughts wander to her, your Zoya. You miss her, like a string tied to your heart, tugging you back the way you've came, hours away from home. Though you don't plan to be anymore than a day's ride from the palace, it's still difficult, being this far from her.

And the thought of Zoya makes your cheeks burn, remembering all the ways she said goodbye to you. Not just with her words, but her fingers, and mouth, and...

And then one of your partners is speaking to you. You shake your head, clearing your dirty thoughts, and look to your right where your companion is. "I'm sorry, I was a bit distracted, can you repeat that?"

Nadine, the Inferni, smiles, like she knows exactly what you're missing right about now. Or maybe, she's too worried she'll offend the Queen Consort. "I was just wondering if we should stop soon?" She glances down to a small map she's got clutched in her hands, "there's an inn up ahead, maybe another half hour ride? Then only a few more hours to the village we're needed in, after that."

You sigh, and give a tight nod, spurring your horse onward. You hadn't even noticed the sun had began to lower, painting the sky a red-orange haze. Truthfully, you wouldn't have minded continuing to the village, where reports of a possible Inferni had been made. But, you won't tire your companions out for your own selfish desire to get back home, to your wife.

The three of you continue towards the inn, and after another 15 minutes, your surroundings slowly look more village-esque. It's small, just a few houses littering the streets, a tavern. It's a commerce town, known for harvesting and trading out to bigger cities. Not many actually reside here, and anyone who does is a worker. It's not built for leisure. But, alarmingly, the place seems rather dry and dead. The grass is brown, the air feels... dusty. A few people in the streets give gentle nods, but they seem exhausted, clothes dirty and faces drawn tight. They recognize the three of you as Grisha due to your keftas, and while public opinion has mostly changed for the better, you can still sense some hesitation from them, some looking a bit worried about three Grisha coming to their little town, one they've surely worked hard to keep from becoming unneeded, one they've ensured people rely on through their trade.

But, what really stands out, is in the distance, there appears to be a large crater in the ground. A few people stand around it, speaking, likely the leadership figures in the town. One woman spots the three of you, and she waves you over.

Turning to your companions, Ilya, the Squaller, gives you a shrug, obviously curious about what's gone on here. Although it isn't the town you've been sent to investigate, something has clearly happened that is out of the ordinary. The three of you dismount and walk the rest of the way.

Before you reach the scene, the woman calls out, "More Grisha come to take from this town?" Her voice is hardened, her face in a scowl, but she doesn't seem to be telling you to leave.

When you get closer, you notice how deep the hole is. The area around it is absent of grass, though now, you suppose, it would be dead grass, and it proves what you had suspected, but dreaded. This was obviously a pond, or a lake, of some sort. And now, it's a dry, lifeless void.

You shake your head at the scene, and ask, "What happened? When?"

The woman, who you can now see is older, but a hard working woman, evident by the dirt on her skin, her messed hair, the muscles in her arms and the calluses on her hands, purses her lips and spits onto the dry ground. "Grisha, that's what happened. A few days ago."

Ilya, relatively new to these types of jobs, speaks up. "I'm sorry, that this happened. What else can you tell us?"

A young man, hardly out of his teens standing next to the old woman answers him. "Middle of the night. Woke everyone up. We all ran out of our houses, and there were these people..." he pauses, and his face screws up in disgust, "Grisha," he spits out, "killing our town."

The other villagers at the emptied lake nod their heads. So much for a good public opinion, you think.

The woman speaks again, "There were several of them, they emptied the lake. Just... picked it all up.. and.. carried it away. How is that even possible?" The last part doesn't seem directed at you, really, and your chest aches with empathy. "And then... there was another one. Th-they sucked the life out of everything. Look at it all! Dead and dry. There's no life here anymore."

Nadine speaks, "We're here because there's another town, farther south, that has supposedly been terrorized by a possible Inferni. We think it's a rogue Grisha, from Shu Han, that's fled the cities. Are you saying there are more rogues, ones closer than we thought?"

The woman nods, her face grim. "They've ruined everything. Our source of natural water... gone. We're the only town for miles. How will we survive, let alone trade anymore?"

And at that, your heart breaks. "I am so, so, so sorry this happened. We've been trying to find these Grisha, each time a new report crops up. It's our goal to find them, give them a home, train them. But this, this isn't just uncontrolled power. This was an attack, and I swear to you, they will be punished accordingly."

"And what does that do for us now?"

You flinch at her tone. "I'm a Tidemaker, and... the Queen, Zoya Nazyalsenky... she's my wife."

All of the people gathered at the empty lake pause, and stiffen. They stand up a bit straighter, their eyebrows raised. You always hate pulling that card, but in times like this, when it can be used as reassurance, you do it.

"As soon as we possibly can, we'll send Durasts, and Tidemakers, me included, Squallers, too, to bring water and life back to your town. I swear it. We won't let you be wiped away."

The old woman's face grows less concerned, but just a bit. "You're Y/N Y/L/N? The Queen Consort?"

You nod. "Yes, but please, just call me Y/N. I'm just here to help, however I can. That's all."

She sticks her hand out. "My name is Polina."

---

It turned out that Polina was the owner and operator of the inn, and her grandson was the young man you had also met, Alexei, was his name. Polina gave you and both of your companions rooms, and Alexei had given the three of you warm bowls of stew.

Before turning in for the evening, you had your Grisha meet with you in your room, to discuss how to proceed.

"I'm not sure we should even proceed to the next village. Truthfully, I think the reports were wrong."

Nadine nods, like she had also considered the possibility. Ilya's eyebrows raise, but he doesn't disagree. He says, "Do you think they were misunderstood, or lies, to throw us off?"

"I think that the Inferni either doesn't exist, or made themselves incredibly obvious to cover for the Tidemakers and Durasts that are apparently working together."

It isn't unusual for Grisha types to stick together, but it is for so many of them to be so malicious. It sends a chill down your spine.

"They've been working together a lot longer than we may even think. They seem organized, out of control, but organized," Nadine says. You nod in agreement, running a hand down your face from the stress.

"I think that our priority should be to help these people. I think we should head back, fulfill the promise we made by coming back with more Grisha. We help restore this town, and then travel onwards, with reinforcements. This is obviously more than the three of us intended to handle."

Ilya sighs. "What if they're destroying another village as we speak, what if they're at the village we had intended to go to, taking their water, killing their crops, too?"

Before you can respond, Nadine does. "The three of us won't be able to help them, not without more Tidemakers, more Squallers, and honestly, we'll need Healers and Heartrenders if this gets violent, and I suspect it will be, facing off with anyone willing to take water and food from an entire town."

You give her a nod of approval, proud of her logistical thinking skills and protectiveness of Ravkans. You make a mental note to urge Zoya to promote her sooner rather than later when you return home.

You send both Nadine and Ilya off to their rooms for a good night's sleep, as the three of you will return home at first light, eager to help this town before it's too late.

You turn down the lanterns of your room when they're gone, changing into a night gown and burrowing into your small bed. Though your brain is active with worries and unease, you eventually settle into a deep sleep, dreams of returning to Zoya there to greet you.

---

A harsh light is filling the room, and you awaken with a jump at a loud bang, several loud bangs, actually. Your eyes fly open, and immediately you see smoke filling the room. From the window, you can see the glow of a fire, and your door shakes with the force of someone trying to take it down.

"Y/N!" Nadine shouts from the other side, and you fly out of bed, ripping the door open with your face tucked into your elbow.

Her face is covered in soot, her eyes pinched shut from the smoke. "W-We have to g-" she cuts herself off, breaking into a violent coughing fit. A loud creak fills the space, and a wooden beam falls just feet behind you, setting your bed on fire.

"Where's Ilya?!" You ask, grabbing Nadine's arm and making a run for it. She's obviously been in the smoke more than you have, so you do most of the work, navigating the two of you down the burning hallway. You pass by Ilya's empty room and keep running, hoping he's waiting outside.

The two of you stumble down the stairs, the rail catching fire as you reach the landing, the both of you practically falling down the last flight.

Ahead, you can see flames licking closer towards the entrance, and you raise your hand, summoning what little water moisture hangs in the air to keep the doorframe from catching alight.

When the two of you burst out of the building, Nadine falls to the ground, clutching her chest and gagging from the coughs. You're disoriented, brain and vision fuzzy from the smoke, the heat, the adrenaline.

You look around, and faintly register that the entire town is burning. You want to scream in rage and despair, but your throat feels like it's on fire, and you break into a coughing fit. You try to find Ilya in the mess, but you don't see him, and instead, you're met with the vision of Alexei dragging Polina's body from the inn's entrance before finally, the entire thing is consumed by flames.

You land on your knees by Nadine, bracing a hand on her back, and attempt to scream out to Alexei to leave Polina, to move, before the entire thing collapses, before a sharp blow to the back of your head knocks you unconscious.

---

There's a throbbing pain in your temples, and it hurts to even move your eyes, but slowly, you peel them open. They're fuzzy for a few moments, and your ears are ringing, but eventually, you hone in on the sight of Nadine, across from you, out cold and tied to a chair. There's a gag in her mouth, and her hands are tight behind her back, her legs restrained to the legs of the chair.

Your eyes widen, but you can't move. You're restrained too, scream muffled by a gag similar to one used on Nadine shoved in your mouth. Your whole body hurts, you jerk and buck, trying to break the restrains, but they're tight, and it feels like you'd been given a thorough beating while you were under, as it hurts your ribs to even take a breath in. You can tell that your right eye is swollen, nearly entirely closed, and your lip is busted. You feel wetness dripping down your face, and you assume there's a cut, somewhere near your hairline.

Eventually, the sound of you struggling pulls Nadine awake, but the sound draws other attention, too.

A door swings open, and two men walk in, one carrying a lantern. The added light, provided by your kidnappers, provides more clarity on where you're being held.

It appears to be an empty, wooden structure. Some of the boards are loose, and through the cracks, you see a whole lot of nothing. There's light, bright enough that you can see that it's well into the next day, but not enough to really see inside of the place. If you had to guess, you're in the small barn, or shed, whatever the town called it, that you had passed by when you'd first arrived.

So, they hadn't taken you far at all, then.

Good, you thought, they're exhausted from all the magic they used tonight.

The man without the lantern steps between you and Nadine, a sinister smirk on his face. His fists are bloody and bruised, blood splattered on his white shirt. Nadine looks to you, an expression of rage on her face, and you can see that she's been beaten, too. Nadine, your closest Inferni friend, known for her red-hot rage.

Yes, you were angry, but you knew they should be terrified of Nadine.

And Ilya, he was nowhere to be seen. Though it stung to think he abandoned the two of you, you hoped it was just that, and that the fire hadn't claimed him, or worse, he had been killed by rogue Grisha, killed by the people he wanted to protect.

You snarled, as best as you could with your mouth gagged, when the man bent to be at eye-level with you.

"Well, when we lured the Grisha out here, we didn't expect to get the Queen Consort herself, but you won't hear me complaining." The man chuckled, his companion with the lantern joining in.

The comment confused you, none of the other rogue Grisha you'd encountered had ever been so malicious. Most of them wanted to be trained, wanted to stop wreaking havoc wherever they went. Most were grateful that there were people who cared enough to go find them, to take them in, rather than hunt, kill, or imprison them. There were the occasional Grisha who didn't like the idea of the Ravkan government knowing who they were, being at Ravka's whim, but mostly, they agreed to receive training in exchange for a life of peace and anonymity once they could be trusted with their power.

But this, this sheer, raw, hate and contempt, you'd never encountered it before. It terrified you.

He obviously noticed your confusion, and so he said, "Did you really think no one would realize what you've been doing? Forcing anyone with power into a life of servitude and restraint?" His eyes narrowed, and he smirked, like he'd caught you at something.

You bucked against the restraints again, and quicker than you could blink, he pulled a knife from his back pocket, holding it to your neck. You stilled at the threat, your breath coming out through your nose in sharp exhales.

"I won't let you do to them what you did to me," he hissed out, amusement turned to rage.

And then, it dawned you. This man specifically, he's not a rogue Grisha, no. He was raised in Ravka, taken to the Little Palace as a child to attend school, and then he defected.

It's rare, but it does happen. Some Grisha don't believe in balance of the Small Science, they don't believe in protection and using their powers for good. They're greedy, and power hungry, and view themselves as Gods.

Grisha aren't forced to serve, especially not under Zoya's rule, but there are the ones who view their education and the philosophy of Ravka has a restraint, a confine. They don't see it for the gift that it is, the necessity to keep not only the common man safe, but the Grisha, too. Small Science is a tricky thing, sensitive and delicate. Many rogue Grisha are found on the cusp of burn out. What you do, finding them, bringing them back, giving them a home, in many cases, it saves their life.

Clearly, this man has festered in his unappreciation and resentment for a long, long time.

He noticed the moment you figured it out.

"Yes, yes, that's right. While you were busying rallying up strays, I was busy finding the ones that don't want your charity. The ones that desire freedom and power, who won't give one up for the other."

You started shaking your head, tears of frustration welling, but he pressed the knife at your throat harder, your movements stopping at the feel of a prick at your neck, a small trickle of blood sliding down your throat.

Behind him, you could see Nadine struggling harder, her chair lifting off the ground a few times from the force of her efforts. Please, Nadine, don't give him any reason to hurt you, you thought, as admirable as your friend's efforts were, you had no doubts in your mind that this man was out to kill.

He snarled, whirling around to face her. "Stop moving, Grisha whore! Or I'll kill you first while the Queen here," he gestured behind himself, towards you, "gets to watch. Do you want that?"

Nadine, with a scowl on her face and likely a growl in her throat, shook her head 'no.'

The man, whose identity you still did not know, hummed. "Good girl."

The comment made you sick, bile bubbling in your throat. He had told Nadine, "I'll kill you first," meaning, he definitely had plans to kill both of you. You didn't know when, or how, and the panic began to curdle your stomach.

He glanced to his partner, still off to the side, lantern in hand. "Meet the others outside, take a few, spread out, look for anyone that fled during the fires. There can't be many left, but find them." The other man gives a sharp nod, sets the lantern on the ground, and leaves.

Then your captor turns to you, he smirks. "I have a few questions."

---

For hours, he questions you and Nadine. For hours, he punches you whenever he gets too frustrated, or holds his knife to your throats, or chokes you until you see stars. He pays no mind to your tears, Nadine's grunts and growls and snarls. Your gags are discarded on the ground, but the town is isolated, and no one hears a thing.

But, you're only just now entertaining the very real possibility that you'll never see Zoya again. You'll never come home to her, like you've always promised, and Zoya will forever be waiting for her wife to come back to her. It isn't the pain that you're in that makes you cry, no, it's the devastation that you will never see her again, the love of your life.

But, there is no chance that you'll give in. You won't tell him what he wants to know about the Grisha, the Little Palace, the Queen. Never would you compromise them. And so if it takes Zoya losing you, to keep her safe, so be it.

Your vision is blurry, eyes swollen, blood dripping from your mouth. Your entire body aches, it hurts to breathe. Dimly, you hear the man, who finally revealed his name to be Gregor, say, "I'm going to ask one final question, and then, you're both done."

Through the haze, you peer up at him, and spit a wad of blood at his feet. "I-I... will t-tell you... nothing."

He nods, like he was expecting it. The knife, for the millionth time it seems, is pulled from his back pocket. He flicks the blade out, and he stalks closer.

And then, in the matter of seconds, the entire space is dark.

He halts his movements, staring around the room curiously. It's like a curtain had been pulled around the barn, and the wind has picked up, whistling through the broken boards, gathering dust, whipping it around fiercely. The lantern goes out, and he grits out, "shit." He flicks his wrist, attempting to light it again, but the wind won't allow him.

A large clap of thunder makes him, you, and Nadine, who is hardly conscious, jump. A streak of lightning flares, and in the brief light, you can see Gregor's conviction falter. He casts you a long look, and then stalks towards the large wooden door, which is rattling from the force of the storm.

But before he reaches it, several screams ring out from outside. Instantly, there's a flurry of activity. The all too familiar sound of fighting is like music to your ears. You hear wind whipping around, bullets flying, water wooshing, fire igniting and soaring through the air, balls of flame creating streaks that you see fly by the structure.

Gregor looks terrified. And he should be. This isn't a few Grisha come to rescue you, no. It's the Second Army, led by Zoya Nazyalensky.

Though you can hardly see, can hardly move, can hardly think. You level a gaze at your captor, and send him a smile, it's toothy, bloody, and smug.

Rage takes over his features. He moves towards you, knife at his side, large strides carrying him closer towards you faster than you anticipated, but he doesn't make it far.

The doors to the barn fly open, breaking from their hinges. In the doorway stands her, your wife, Zoya. Never, in the all years you've known her, have you seen her look so furious.

She's mighty, and beautiful, and the relief that floods through you aches from how good it feels.

The scene that plays out behind her is vicious, but truthfully, it doesn't last long. Gregor never implied there was anyone else working with him that was trained and skilled. A fool, to do this work, while leaving the messiest players on the field. The Grisha Zoya had brought with her are cutting the rogues down with ease, showing no mercy.

And evidently, Zoya has no plans for mercy either.

"Step the fuck away from my wife." Her voice is cold, calculated. Her lip curls into a snarl, and you can see her trembling with the force of her rage. To others, her voice would sound alarmingly calm, but you can hear the unmasked terror in the tremor.

She doesn't look to you, but you know she wants to. Her gaze stays steady on Gregor, who stands halfway between you and her. He seems to genuinely consider her demand, for a moment. But then he grits his teeth, and tries to make a run for you. Briefly, so fast you think you may have imagined it, you see Zoya's eyes shift into those of the dragon.

You almost find Gregor's determination admirable, him thinking he could win against the most powerful Grisha alive. Almost.

Zoya's arm shoots up, her hand pushing forward, hardly breaking a sweat with the force she'd summoned to throw him. He hits the wall of the barn hard, and yet he tries to rise. Again, Zoya lifts him from the ground, throwing him against the wall with a sickening crunch. And yet again, Gregor, with broken and bruised limbs, attempts to rise. Zoya, like a predator toying with her prey, allows him to shakily brace himself on his hands and knees. She takes slow, measured steps forward. "What a pathetic excuse of a Grisha, such a waste of power," she sneers, and the jest hits him hard. He chokes blood, spits it out, and says, "you unworthy bitch." And, if you weren't currently holding onto life by a thread, and still tied up, you would've killed him yourself for that little comment. But Zoya merely clenches her fist, and she sucks the air right out of his lungs.

She continues moving forward, shielding you from the sight. Her face is clenched in fury, her fist shakes as she robs him of life. She holds, exactly like that, until Gregor's chokes are quiet whimpers, until he stops moving, stops twitching, and his eyes stare at her, lifeless.

Zoya doesn't pay him attention a second longer than necessary. Immediately, her rage contorts into worry, and her gaze shifts towards you.

"Y/N, oh saints..." Her voice cracks, her lower lip trembles, and she's launching herself at you.

"Zoya," you whisper, but it's gurgled and choked on blood and saliva. Tears leak from your eyes, streaking through the muck on your face.

Her hands are on you, something you never thought you'd feel again. They shake as she cuts through the bonds around your wrists. You wince at the ache in your shoulders and arms as you bring your hands in front of you, reaching out to stroke Zoya's face as she cuts the ties around your ankles. Your fingers tremble, you hardly have enough strength to graze her cheek. Once she frees your legs, she's gathering you in her arms, bringing you to her chest while she releases a sob into your hair.

She cries your name again, repeats of, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," but you pay it no mind. As much as you want her to hold you, you know you're not the most important thing right now.

You pull back, ignoring the sharp pain in your head and chest. You look up at her, into Zoya's heartbroken eyes, and give her a small smile. "N-Nadine, Zoya... h-help her..."

Her brows furrow, but she doesn't resist, knowing you'd never forgive her if she refused to save your friend, too.

She plants a kiss to your forehead, lips dry and trembling. With a last longing glance, she turns to Nadine, limp in her chair. Like she had done for you, she cuts through her bonds, and Tamar and Tolya come rushing through the broken doorway. They survey the space, anger and shock clear on their face. Tamar makes for you, and Tolya rushes to help Zoya with Nadine.

When she's free, Zoya has him take Nadine in her arms and leave, likely to find an available healer.

Don't let it be too late, please, let her live. The concern almost hurts more than any of the physical torture you'd endured.

Tamar stands you on your feet, but you don't make it far before Zoya's returning to your side, again, bringing you into her embrace. Tamar backs off, giving the two of you space.

"I'll go find a healer for her, somewhere to lay her down while they work."

Zoya doesn't respond, but you feel her nod.

She wraps one arm around your back, the other cradling her head. "My love, can you walk?"

You give her a weak nod, exhaustion beginning to take over, and you know you won't be conscious much longer. You try to take a step, but your knees buckle, and Zoya's immediately scooping you up, the arm around your back taking your weight as the other grabs you from behind your knees.

You don't even have the energy to assure her that you're fine, and besides, Zoya's already making for the exit, her steps hurried and frantic. Again, she's apologizing, you can hear that faintly. You want to tell her it's okay, that nothing is her fault, but your tongue feels thick and your mind feels foggy. You register that you're outside of the barn when the light hits your eyes, the storm Zoya summoned clearly over now that she has you in her grasp. You squeeze them shut despite the pain from the bruising, and you slowly fall under to the sound of Zoya calling your name.

---

When you come to, you're immediately confused. Opening your eyes is hard, and even as they flutter open, it's difficult to see. The pain you're in, that's clear, but you aren't exactly sure where you're at. Things are coming back to you in flashes, bits and pieces. The village, Polina, the fires, the barn, the abuse, Zoya.

There's pressure on your arm, and with a groan, you turn your head to look to your left. There, your wife rests her head on the cot you now notice you're laying on. She looks sad, and exhausted, and you want to brush her hair back from her face but she's got her hand in yours, her forehead rested against your forearm. You admire her for a moment, swallowing thickly, your throat dry and croaky. You notice that many of your cuts and injuries had been healed as well as possible, but many had been too much for healers to erase entirely. Mostly, bruises are left, but all of the soreness, the ache and sharp pains, remain. You can see that you'd been wiped down, your skin not so dirty and bloody as it had been. Settling into your thoughts, you can tell that you're undressed, bandages around your middle, others in various places across your arms and legs.

You bring the hand that Zoya does not occupy to your face, and notice a bandage around the wrist, likely where you'd struggled against the binds, tearing into your skin. You brush hair from your forehead, and wince at the nasty cut your fingers skim. The movement shoots an ache through your back, ribs, and temples, and the jostle rouses Zoya, which you had not intended. Truthfully, you knew she needed rest, and she was just so pretty while she slept.

Her head flies up, and she blinks the sleep from her eyes, her gaze settling on you once she remembers where she's at. Her blue eyes widen, and she breathes your name in a sigh of relief. She scoots closer, and holds your face in her hands.

"You're awake," she whispers, like she worried you never would be.

You give her a weak smile, and she tries to return it, but she fails. Her eyes well with tears again, and she can't control the sob that bursts out of her.

"Zoya," your voice is hoarse, "don't cry, baby, I'm alright."

She huffs a laugh, but it's humorless and bitter. "You are certainly not alright."

She reaches down, and picks up a glass of water that had been next to the cot. She cradles the back of your head, lifting it gently while bringing the glass to your lips. She pours it into your mouth slowly, the fresh water is an instant relief. You drink eagerly, and she pulls back. "Slow down, my love, you'll choke."

She helps you take a few more sips until you stop, satisfied and feeling more awake. Your head meets the pillow again, and you lick your lips with the newly provided moisture.

She sets the glass down, and you watch her closely, her face pinched, a few tears leaking from her eyes.

"Zoya, please, I'm okay. Sore, but I'm okay."

She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. "Y/N, you were nearly dead when I found you."

"Zoya..."

"Nearly dead!" She bites out, turning to face you.

You flinch at her tone, and she sighs. "Nearly dead, Y/N, if I had been seconds later..."

"But you weren't, you saved me, you saved Nadine..." Your voice trails off, and Zoya senses the question. She nods softly, "Nadine is okay, I think she woke up an hour or so ago."

You sigh in relief. "H-How long have I been out?"

She shrugs, "I'm not completely sure. I haven't been paying much attention to the time, I haven't left your side. I haven't gone outside. It may have been a couple of hours, or days, I wouldn't know. I didn't leave you."

She sounds like she's reassuring herself, not you. Your heart aches for her, at how dedicated her love is. "I don't doubt it, Zoya."

She nods, and wipes her cheeks with the back of her hand. She goes to speak, but you know Zoya all too well, know what she's about to say. You beat her to it. "Zoya, nothing that happened is your fault."

She scoffs, shaking her head.

"Zoya, I mean it. Even I hadn't anticipated this, not Nadine, not Ilya, none of us. And speaking of... is Ilya..."

"He's the one that alerted us. He was awake, when they set the inn on fire, he left and came straight back home."

You nod, relieved that he had made it out, thankful that he had done exactly as you taught him. Never engage with a threat out of your range, always get backup.

"I was so, so terrified when he got there, when he told us what happened."

"Sweetheart..." You reach for her hand, holding it tight,

"It was the middle of the night. I woke up to Tolya banging on my door, telling me something had happened, that you'd been attacked," her voice cracks, and you squeeze her hand. "All I could think about is how I was going to lose you, how I was a fool for letting you go, that I had let you leave and I was going to pay for it. I felt like I was going to be sick. I left immediately, the best of the Second Army with me. I-I thought I wouldn't get in here time, or I'd arrive and you'd have been... long dead. That somehow you would have died, been taken from me, and I wouldn't have known."

You shake your head, tears of your own threatening to spill. "Zoya, no. Stop thinking that way. You didn't let me leave, I'm a grown woman, with a duty to Ravka and the Grisha, if it's anyone's fau-"

"And look what that duty did to you!" She emphasizes 'duty' like it's a curse, leveling her gaze at you. Zoya, when upset, when frightened, masks it with anger. You know that, and so you don't take it to heart.

"Zoya, this doesn't need to be a fight. You know that I love my job. And you know, better than anyone, that what we've done has done far more good for the Grisha than bad. You can't let one incident change that."

"Incident?" She looks at you like you've grown three heads, her tears falling quickly now, distorting her voice. "You were nearly killed!"

"Yes, I was, but I survived, because of you."

"Look at you, Y/N... bruised, bloody. You can't even hold your own head up!"

Yes, it's true, you've never been this injured before, especially in front of Zoya. And you know that if the roles were reversed, if it was you waiting at Zoya's bedside, terrified she may not wake up, you'd be distraught. You aren't denying your wife's terror, but you do wish she wouldn't let it manifest into anger, into self-loathing.

You sigh, trying to keep the frustration at bay. "Zoya," your tone is sharp, "I am so, so sorry you had to see me like this. But I won't give up my job for it."

She shakes her head and looks down at your interlaced hands. "I didn't mean to start a fight, I'm sorry."

"I know, baby, it's alright." You squeeze her hand again, in an attempt to get her to look at you, but she doesn't.

"But, I can't let you go out again, n-not... not for a while."

"Zoy-"

"No, Y/N, please, just listen." Finally, she reconnects her gaze with yours.

"Clearly, something went very, very wrong." You nod your head, because yes, something went terribly wrong. "I don't know yet if it was just simple misinformation, or if someone, one of our soldiers in the field, deliberately falsified intel in order to lure you or I out, away from the palace, away from protection."

Truthfully, you hadn't considered that. It's difficult for you to fathom any of the Grisha wanting to harm one another. But your love for them isn't a universal sentiment.

You swallow thickly, but you don't interrupt.

"I am going to find out, though, Y/N. I swear it." Zoya's voice is a dangerously calm whisper, her tone sharp. "I won't stop until I find every single person responsible for this, whoever did this to you, they're going to pay." It isn't just a statement, it's a promise.

"So some escaped, then? They fled?"

Zoya flinches, as if she blames herself for anyone who had harmed you escaping her wrath. "Yes. When we arrived... it was like Hell broke loose. So much fighting, everywhere, across the whole town. So, yes, some of them... managed to escape. I'm sorry."

"Zoya, no, please, don't be sorry for anything. None of us really knew the extent of what was happening."

She nods, firm and absolute. Her eyes narrow as she looks at you. "Now do you understand why this has to end, these rescue missions? At least until we have a better understanding of what these rogues are capable of, what they want to accomplish?"

Ahhh, you thought, she doesn't know that Gregor, the man she killed, wasn't a rogue. He was one of our own. I'll tell her later, let her worry later, she's been terrified enough.

"Yes, my love, I do. I respect your wishes, you know that. I won't go out into the field for a while, but I won't quit this. If there's an investigation to launch, I want in."

She rolls her eyes, though it's playful. "Yes, yes, I figured you would."

You grin, and reach for her face, cupping her cheek. "I love you, Zoya. Thank you, for saving me."

She turns, placing a kiss in the palm of your hand. Then she leans forward, careful of your split and swollen lip, and places a kiss there, too. "I love you, Y/N, more than anything."

---

It isn't for another few days that you're able to be moved. During the first two days, Zoya fills you in on all of the details you were unaware of as you'd been held hostage. You learn that nearly every building, every home, every business, had burned, save for a lucky few. Many had died, but not all of them. Healers were able to bring many people back from the brink of death, and soothe any minor injuries sustained. Zoya told you the village people are resilient, and thankful towards the Grisha that had come so fiercely to save them.

You learn that while Alexei had lived, surviving minor burns and scrapes, Polina had died, her injuries far too grave. Zoya held you while you cried through the sadness and guilt, and she swore to you that Grisha would be stationed in the village to help them rebuild. They were already developing a plan to return water to the lake, and they would continue to provide financial support while the town reestablished its commerce. And while you knew that Zoya would never, ever, back down on that promise, you still felt miserable that it was one that even had to be made. Polina, a hard working woman, that earned everything she had, that loved her town, would never see it restored, all because you had stopped to stay at her little inn. The tears came often, and Zoya wiped them away each time.

On the third day, Zoya helped you sit up. She'd been babying you, but you couldn't complain, secretly adoring when she dotes on you. You insisted that you could stand, too, and walk around. While she wasn't too fond of that idea, she delicately wrapped her arm around you and supported you as you left the little healer's tent you'd been staying in.

You were able to finally see Nadine, and Ilya, who volunteered to be one of the Grisha that stayed behind. Nadine was promptly promoted for her intellect and, as you recalled her growls and efforts to resist Gregor, for her passion. Just as injured as you, you two weren't able to embrace much, but you did tell her how proud of her you are, and how thankful that she'll be going home, too. Though, if there was anyone more eager than you to keep working, it was Nadine, and because she isn't married to the Queen, there isn't anyone to really stop her. Ilya tried to apologize for leaving, for not trying to find the both of you first, but you quickly shushed him, telling him he had done everything right. And, you supposed he had a bright future ahead of him, seeing as Zoya was incredibly thankful to him for his swiftness.

On the fourth day, you finally convinced Zoya that it was time to go home, and that you'd survive the journey. Every night, she'd been applying ointments and medicines to your cuts and scrapes, hand feeding you food and water. She'd get a wet wash cloth and wipe your skin, due to absence of a bathing room. Every morning she'd brush out your hair and braid it, to prevent knots. She rarely left your side, only budging when the Grisha needed guidance and direction. She slept on your cot with you, declining to have her own, claiming, "I don't think I'll ever be close enough to you anymore."

A few members of the Second Army that were to return to the palace, Nadine included, sat on their saddled horses waiting for you and Zoya to join them. Zoya, ever the dramatic, had added blankets and such to your horse, for comfort. She even made a Fabrikator attach buckles to your saddle, because she was worried that if you weren't strapped in, you'd fall off.

She lifts you with ease, putting you on top of your mount, and making sure you're secure before she climbs atop her own. The trip, while able to be made in a day, was to be split into two, for your and Nadine's sakes.

Zoya sends everyone to ride a few paces ahead, so that she can trail closely next to you. You giggle at her protectiveness, but your heart swells at just how perfect of a wife she is.

Zoya watches you, noticing how every so often, you glance back at the ruins of the village you're leaving behind.

"We'll come back, love."

You shoot her a confused glance. "We will?"

She nods, she smiles, and she sighs. "I know you won't stop thinking about this place, won't stop worrying. When they've rebuilt some, and they're back on their feet, you and I will come back, we'll help with the finishing touches."

You could cry at how well Zoya knows you, how she'd do anything to make you happy and satisfied, including travel back to a village, one any other royal would have written off as insignificant and unimportant, one that is now a source of trauma, maybe even more so for her than you.

"I would love that, Zoya, thank you. I love you, so much."

She smiles, and her cheeks grow a bit pink at the sheer adoration in your voice.

"I love you, too."

---

A/N: WOW! I made this a hell of a lot longer than I had originally intended lol. I hope you liked it, anon! And thanks so much for requesting!

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