#aot crackfic

[sugarverse]

Synop: you and armin have to host the new years eve party this year, how fun could that be? (armin x black reader)

Word count 4k

Mentions of sex, but still a fluff/crack fic. the part 2 is at the bottom lmfao

sug says: ts is so silly LMFAO, if you’re trapped at a NYE party you don’t to be at, heres a good read!!

Why the fuck was it even an option to pick your house to throw the party?? You hated people. Even more so, you hated hearing drunk Eren cry to Mikasa about how sorry he is for the 8th fuck up of the week. Or Connie and Sasha scream singing Not Like Us since it came out as soon as any sort of liquor touched their lips. Or Annie's ass acting like her and Bert are too good to hang out with us. But won't stay at home when Reiner brings him out. 

Why are we bringing no-home-training niggas into the house??? 

You thought to yourself, writing getting a bit messier as you pushed pen against paper. You were making a list for everything you and Armin would need to get done before everyone arrived around 6:30. It was easier to buy certain things on the day of (veggies for example) so your fridge isn't so packed. Not many places were open past 5 so you were trying to remember everything as 1pm rolled around.

You tapped the pen against the counter top as you scribbled what else the house will need. Extra napkins in case Connie conveniently forgets to bring something besides alcohol, Water bottles, set sticky notes out for when people bring food, the whole shabang. 

Before you could voice how this was a lot and was driving you crazy, Armin was standing in front of you on the other side of the kitchen island with a nervous but curious smile. “Are you okay, y/n?” he asks, looking at the obvious annoyance on your face and the sound of pen scratching paper getting more aggressive by the minute. 

You set the pen down, quickly turning to him with a smile. It’s not that you hated them, it’s just that you couldn’t leave once you were tired. It’s your house and they don’t exactly know when to leave. And on New Year's Eve? Hell, You knew they’d stay till damn near 4am. This was one of those holidays where nobody gave a fuck about alcohol poisoning. However, you care about your carpet and your nice couch.

“Yes baby, I’m fine.” You shuffle on your socks to slide around to the side of the counter to give your lovely boyfriend a fat kiss on the cheek. You hold his face in your palms, smiling softly. “Just a little stressed is all.”

Armin studied your face, leaning forward to kiss your forehead. “A little?” He asked, placing his hands on your waist to pull you just a little closer. He knew you like the back of his hand and clearly something was up.

You scowl for a moment, trying to make sure he wasn’t dissing you. You watch his lips flatten for a moment as he quickly spoke up once more. “I can see it in your face, I’m here to help, not harm..” You knew that, but sometimes it was hard to remember that. Even more so forgetting to ask for help. Before you knew it, he hugged you gently, rubbing your lower back with warm hands. 

You snake your arms around his shoulder, doodling hearts and stars against his back in return. “Just gotta get a lotta shit done..” You kiss his other cheek, seeing the smile creep onto his face and causing you to smile as well.

He nodded, hands sliding themselves up the underpart of your shirt. He continued to rub your back soothingly. “What else do you need me to do so far? I moved the card table into the basement with the extra chairs from the garage– I also made sure our car is in the garage so people can park off of the street as much as possible! I had to clean out some of the garage because–”

Before he could finish, you cut him off. “Because I don't want my house smelling like cigarettes or weed. ..Thank you sweetheart.” Now that was something you didn't have to ask for. Armin always tried to read your mind on what to do at least to take some weight off of your shoulders and you greatly appreciated it. 

“I guess just get these few things from the store.. We need some extra decorations if you can stop by.. Dollar tree or something?” You let him go, turning to read the list aloud in case you were forgetting anything. I guess now would be the best time to send him out anyway. 

“We just need a few balloons and I was going to get noise makers? I don’t want to pop confetti inside and its cold as fuck outside. I’m sure someone is gonna want to shoot a gun or make some kind of loud noise to start the year- Someone always does.” Last time it was Jean with the supervision of Marco considering he didn’t want any of the other drunks to do it. Jean could at least aim at the sky and not go overboard even with the liquor in his system. 

You look down at the list, ripping the notepad paper in half to split groceries from to-dos. “Welch’s champagne if there’s any left, I don’t think one bottle is enough. Mikasa doesn’t drink much, Historia hardly drinks, Marco doesn’t drink too much either– But nobody wants to sit and drink pop all night. I like drinking it because it reminds me of being a kid–  Dip for veggies! My God..” You quickly flipped the list of groceries over to write the kind on the back. 

You don’t see him move, probably because your brain was moving a mile a minute, But you do hear the noise of the pantry open and close which causes you to look up and stop listing things aloud.

Armin slowly brings out extra napkins, forks, and paper plates that all read ‘2025’. Even themed in gold and black like the previous decorations you had bought right after Christmas. “I bought them on my way from work last friday– I knew you had a lot to do today so I wanted to try to think of anything I could get to help.” He placed the bags onto the counter, also setting down red solo cups since they held more than any flimsy styrofoam cups. 

He gave you a sympathetic smile. “I also have the rest of those decorations you wanted, the streamers to go above the door?” He set everything out on the island in front of you.

You freeze for a moment before sliding on your socks over to him. You almost tackle your poor boyfriend, hugging him and kissing him all over his face. “You are my hero. I love you so much Armin Arlert you don’t understand..” You cup his face in your hands once more, kissing him as passionately as you could. 

Genuinely you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. He always helped, whether you asked or not. He cleans, he works and makes money, he is incredibly intelligent, loyal.. What else could you ask for?

His face lit up at your reaction, lapis eyes quickly shutting and hesitantly placing his hands on your waist to pull you a little closer. You still made him so nervous. 3 years seemed long, but you had just moved in together around summertime last year. Your sudden acts of affection made him almost standoffish, Which was never on purpose! He just couldn’t help but get his words caught in his throat when it came to you. 

You scratch at his undercut, pulling away to look at him happily. “I can set up decorations and shit while you go to the store. Thank you for always having my back baby..” You saw his woozy grin get even bigger, staring down at you with nothing less than love. You kiss his cheek for the final time, letting him go once more to set out the plates and napkins with the few you had bought.

“Alright, I’m going to take your car before I put that one in the driveway too, Is that okay–” He asked, moving to grab the keys that sat next to your purse. You were already standing on the counter, setting your blender on top of your cabinets for counter space. “Y/n!” 

He quickly went over to you, hands hovering to help you down if you needed it. You began giggling, moving the veggie tray off of the top of the cabinets since it wasn't ever used until it was time for a party. “Armeeeeen I have it, Go to the store in my car!” You feel him lightly place his hands on your calves, helping you down anyway. 

He kisses your temple, letting out a half sigh half chuckle before genuinely going to leave. “Okay, Okay. I love you, y/n!” He called as he slid on his shoes, putting his coat on as well. 

“Love you most!” You wash off the veggie tray, setting it on the counter and beginning to write sticky notes for where crockpots and other items should go. Your cooler was already out for pop and the bottom drawer freezer was cleaned out for the stupid amount of liquor that would be brought. You kept the napkins on the island, taking the bag of decorations to the basement and going to set up.

Armin didn't come back till around three, shaking off the snow of his coat as you went out in pajamas to help grab all the bags. He filled the cooler with ice, watching you wash the veggies and cut them with a calmer look on your face. He smiled to himself, placing in the water bottles and case creme soda he bought for everyone. Everything you needed to do for the house was damn near done which gave you time to do your makeup and get dressed way before anyone got there.

“Do you mind moving some shit around in the basement? I cleaned the bathroom and put new hand soap in there but I think the couch needs to go against the wall and I have to cut these stupid–” You felt the irritation and anxiety to get everything done creep up your neck, sighing and placing the veggies in spare tupperware, splitting them up with walls of celery sticks so it wasn’t hard to place onto the tray.

“I got it, y/n. Play some music and take a deep breath..” He stood beside you, attempting to study the features on your face before you looked at him with an almost worn out expression. You were running yourself thin trying to do everything, but music would help the time go by faster. 

“Sir yes sir,” You tease, seeing him shake his head with a small laugh before kissing your cheek and walking down to your furnished basement. You guys had a bar with cute little stools, a mounted TV, recliners and a dark brown u-shaped sofa. Armin made sure you got everything you wanted when you first moved in, slowly buying things with checks after the bills were paid. 

He never let you pay for anything besides the few times you snatched the check at dinner before he could. Even then, He sent you money when the laundry needed done and your dryer was ass. Or leave his debit card on the TV stand for you to get groceries for the house, to fill up your tank. About 4 months of being moved in, your house was full of comfortable furniture, a new washer and dryer, a subwoofer, a PS5? 

You were spoiled for sure, but he made sure you always got your way. It was hard enough getting you to relax and use your money on yourself since you won’t quit your job. [no shade, just knows he makes enough to take care of you.] So if you asked for things or mentioned you wanted something, he’d take care of it.

He made sure to rearrange the furniture for more space, leaving the card table near the adjacent corner of the bar so no one was too annoying to anyone watching the ball drop. However, most of the time when Armins friends came over, the TV had music blaring from it.

Everyone got there between 6:30 and 8 as assumed. You had made buffalo dip, letting everyone else figure out something different to bring a little before Christmas. Ymir and Historia were there right on time, Historia held cookies and cheesecake in hand while Ymir held a bottle of Everclear and a case of cherry coke. 

Then came Mikasa and Eren around 6:45. Mikasa had made crab and lobster stuffed mushrooms, holding a casserole dish full of them. Eren had a huge charcuterie board full of different cheese, crackers, and lunch meat which was also greatly appreciated. Connie and Sasha came in around 7ish, obviously already pre-gaming with an already opened bottle of titos, bacardi, and shopping bags full of chips and store bought salsa and queso.

“Who’s ready to parrrtayyy??” Sasha yelled as she walked in, Connie cheering to pack her up which followed with everyone else cheering. They were definitely tipsy, but Connie looked stoned off his ass and Sasha’s first stop was gonna be the kitchen no matter what. You snickered, helping the two with their bags and pouring the queso into a smaller crockpot under your microwave so that it was warm.

Sasha picked at the celery on the tray before eyeing the dip and quickling going over to it. Connie stayed in the living room for a moment, saying what's up to everyone before going to make himself a plate and setting the liquor in the freezer for now. No one else had begun eating until the rest of the food got there, but Connie and Sasha made sure to stay huddled in the kitchen corner so your carpet wasn’t ruined. 

Somewhere between 7:15 and 7:30, Annie, Bert, and Reiner all walked in with different items in hand. Annie held two things of paper towels, Reiner held a bottle of whiskey, jesus christ how much liquor do we need, and Bert happily held a tin casserole dish of taco dip. And finally closer to 8, Marco and Jean came in with extra cases of soda and extra cups. 

As everyone made their plate and caught up on whatever they had missed in the last few months, they went downstairs to the card table, bar, and coffee table. You had showered and felt a lot better before everyone had gotten there, smoking half a blunt to calm your nerves in the garage with your not-so weed smoking boyfriend.

It was fun to see his eyes become glossy and low after only a few hits. You two didn’t smoke together often, he was more of a drinker if anything. But you were stressed and it was cold in the garage so it’s not like he was leaving you out there by yourself! .. Plus it’d calm his nerves as well so why not?

Eren walked back up the stairs with empty plates, tossing them into the trashcan before carrying three bottles of liquor downstairs without a word. You couldn’t help but laugh, seeing Connie and Armin meet him halfway on the stairs to help him carry everything. Mikasa stopped her conversation with Historia, leaning forward off of the couch as vigilant eyes squinted at the basement door. Was her boyfriend trying to sneak back downstairs??

“Did he just?” She got up, her/his jacket resting on her shoulders more as a cape than actually on. You nod, watching her follow them down the stairs and a surprised yelp come from Armin and Eren as if almost in trouble by their mother. You could hear music starting to play from the subwoofer, volume getting louder through the door.

You hung out upstairs, finally eating your food after talking to everyone and being forced to take at least two shots before eating by the group since ‘everyone was doing it’. Fuckin bullies.. Cocoa colored eyes follow Ymir as she snatched her own bottle from the freezer as if it was a trophy. “Cards downstairs, y/n?” She asked, smiling and opening the bottle before grabbing a few solo cups.

“Should be a pack of red ones on the table.” You spoke behind your hand, watching her smile get even bigger. She opened the door, stopping and holding the doorknob with the opposite hand before turning to her girlfriend sitting in the living room. “Please baby?”

Historia sighed in defeat, laughing a bit as a light blush laid against her cheeks from the few shots she had taken. She knew if she went they’d just make her drink more, but she decided to leave the living room and slowly shuffle on her socks into the kitchen anyway. 

“Let me make f..food first..” She giggled, sliding past you to get a plate and get herself some carrots and broccoli, swaying and humming to herself as she put some dip on her plate with a plastic unused spoon. 

Ymir smirked, half running down the stairs to see who wanted their ass kicked in cards. You look over to Historia, already looking at you with a happy smile. “Thank you for letting us all hang out here y/n, I know Armin said it first but I know it’s a two person thing.. ‘n your buffalo dip is soooo good!” She scooped some onto her new plate, having only really picked at the food earlier.

You let out a small laugh, leaning your back against the sink. “Thank you, I’ll make it again for the superbowl if you want?” She nodded happily, opening the fridge to see the fake champagne. She looked over at you for permission, not wanting to be bullied into any more shots by her friends, girlfriend and just fomo in general. “Yes you can take it downstairs, Take the rose one,” You slide her a cup, watching her happily grab the bottle and place the cup on top before grabbing her plate.

“Wait!” She squealed, setting the plate back down before turning to find something. She turned back to her plate, taking a carrot before looking up at you. “Do you have a marker?” You tilt your head, nodding and pulling one from your miscellaneous drawer. She quickly tossed the carrot into her mouth, scribbling out the word champagne before staring at it in satisfaction. She left the marker on the counter, bringing everything downstairs as she continued to slightly sway.

Eren, Jean, Connie, Armin, and Sasha were definitely getting a little too turnt the fuck up, you could hear them louder and louder as the music changed. Armin didn’t dislike rap, however he was sure as hell going with whatever shit Connie or Eren picked next. You could hear Reiner join in, Annie and Bert had walked down a while ago so it was really just you upstairs by this point.

As you began unplugging the crockpots so you could go downstairs, there was a commotion at your basement door. You open it to see Connie and Sasha drunkenly fumbling up the stairs to ask for you to make them plates because 'you do it best'. You didn’t mind, laughing and helping the two up as they stayed glued at the hip and didn’t seem to let go of each other out of fear of falling.. Even though it had already happened. You make sure to make the two of them big plates, turning with both in hand to see Sasha eating cheesecake on a napkin and with her hand. 

“Thmnak you *smack* y/n, this ‘s so good-” Sasha spoke, closing her eyes as she toddled back and forth on her heels. Connie laughed at how quick she was to eat, watching her turn and fall near the trash can as she tried to dunk in the napkin. You let out a small laugh as well, setting their food down to help her up. “You two go downstairs, I’ll bring them okay?”

Connie fell to the floor laughing, causing Sasha to lean against you in a fit of giggles as well. You glance at the clock, seeing it had only been 10:30. “Yessss ma’am!” She pulled away from you, pointing and laughing at Connie before heading down the stairs slowly and carefully. 

After his laughing fit, he held open the door for you since you were carrying two full ass plates. You smile and thank him, walking down. Ymir, Marco, Jean, Annie and Reiner were all playing a game of cards in the corner with a solo cup next to everyone at the table. You already knew who was actually drinking and who hadn't been.

You head over to the bar, setting the plates down where Armin was standing with his arms on the counter from the inside. His eyes lit up at the sight of you, quickly walking over to take a plate and set it on top of the counter. Sasha quickly ran over to start eating, Connie stumbling over to do the same. 

“There you are..” His eyes weren’t as low, but they were definitely glossy from whatever he had been drinking. He hugged you close, resting his head atop of yours and pulling you as close as he could. “We miissed youuuu..” His smile was loopy, looking down at you with eyes still full of love. He wasn’t incoherent, but he was definitely more clingy when drunk. Not that it was bad, you just had to make sure his friends weren’t aware of how handys he can get.

Eren was looking up different songs on YouTube, Mikasa sitting beside him and hiding a bottle behind the couch. You could see the reflection of light on the glass, watching Eren absentmindedly look for it before a small noise came from the TV when he did end up selecting something.

“I missed you too, my big baby.” You let out a soft giggle. Throughout the night you had smoked with Connie, Eren, Reiner, and Armin. Everyone else didn’t fuck with weed like that, Ymir, Berthodlt, and Jean smoked occasionally but their preference was mostly vapes and or cigarettes which you guys would smoke before them because the smell of weed is nothin compared to a fuckin cigarette. 

Historia didn’t smoke, Mikasa didn’t enjoy being high because it makes her anxious and Annie has this fruity flavored vape she hardly hit. But you were definitely still high. Armin didn’t look to be but he stopped early to check on the others so that probably is why he's more drunk than anything.

He pulled away, kissing your cheek and down your neck with a happy smile at the sight of you as you thought to yourself. “You look so pretty in this outfit, should let me take it off..” He mumbled into your ear, chuckling as he slid his hands under your shirt. You giggle, grabbing his wrists to keep his hands out of your shirt. He pouted as you spoke, eyes staring down at your lips as you spoke. “Hey, We have a room full of guests. Wait like.. two hours for me?”

Armin quickly smiles, nodding and moving to hold you by your belt loops. “I can wait forever for you..” He kissed your forehead, kissing down to your cheek and then your lips. You melt into it, giggling quietly and holding him close before hearing the Ad stop. There was only about 5 seconds of non-TV noise, but within so, you could hear Connie speak up.

“You guys gonna fuck right in front of me and Sasha’s food?” You pulled away, looking over at him with a squint and hearing Sasha die laughing. He looked at the TV in fear of looking at you any longer, sputtering and laughing as well. Armin’s face turned bright red, obviously starting to come to as he unhooked his fingers and sheepishly hid behind you despite being taller. 

“Shut the fuck up Connie–” You were cut off by the subwoofer going back to playing loudly with Eren, Reiner, and Connie all yelling.

“LISTEN TO THIS TRACK, BITCH!!” 

You rolled your eyes so hard they might as well have fallen into your skull, walking over to the couch as Armin held your hand and followed you. “Maybe we don’t need noise makers.. Got four of 'em right here.” You motioned to the people yelling, listening to everyone else who knew the lyrics also start getting loud. Maybe a few more shots wouldn't hurt.

here's part two! kinda suggestive but still crack/fluff for sure.

© if you like what you see please reblog! It means a lot and helps me out. Want more? Heres my m.list! I write for x black reader so throw me some requests :P my other account are icons and x black reader moodboards if you’re interested!

[harley-rose25]

I remember seeing this, meme I think, or maybe it was a text post somewhere; anyways, it had something to do with Eren Yeager being on trial or being in court; and, I'm just like,.. ok I need somebody to write like a crack fic about Eren Yeager surviving the rumbling and being put on trial, like a world stage trial, and He's just a complete shit the whole time; like unrepentant, zero filter, doesn't give two shits, starts calling everyone on their bullshit, is just like "why are we even doing this? just kill me already." but somehow Armin or Hange or whoever manage to keep drawing it out.

[goth-ch3rri-headspace]

𝙄 𝙉𝙀𝙀𝘿 𝙄𝘿𝙀𝘼𝙎

Here are the fandoms I write for (So far)

AOT characters I write for

Eren

Mikasa

Arimin

Sasha

Connie

Annie

Hange

Erwin

Levi

Bertholdt

Reiner

JJK characters I write for

Yuji

Megumi

Nobara

Panda (hcs only)

Inumaki

Maki

Yuta

Mai

Todo

Choso

Mahito (hcs only)

Geto/Kenjaku

Gojo

Shoko

Utahime

Nanami

Yuki

Tokyo Revengers characters I write for

Mikey

Draken

Baji

The twins

Hakkai

Mitsuya

Emma

Hinata

mostly people in the Tokyo Manji Gang

Saiki K characters I write for

Saiki Kusuo

Saiki Kusuke

Seiko Metori

Aiura Mikoto

Kokomi Teruhashi

Akechi Touma

Reita Toritsuka

Shun Kaido

Kuboyasu Aren

Mera Chisato

Yumehara Chiyo

What each emoji mean

🌸-Fluff

🥀🌧-Angst

🌦-Happy turned sad

💫🌝-Crackfic

📩-Headcannons

❤️‍🔥🔞-Smut

[spacemandoodles]

A little excerpt of the AOT time travel crackfic I’ve been working on because I find it funny. Context: Season 4 Eren is sent back to Season 1 and is currently trying to convince people that he is, in fact, Eren Jaeger.

“Who are you?” Erwin said once more. Apparently Eren had been silent for too long.

“Eren Jaeger.”

A hush fell over the room, sudden silence and a rise in nervous energy. Eren could see the confusion, the shock and fear, marring their faces.

“Bullshit.” Levi broke the silence, because of course he would. “Jaeger is coming over here right now.”

“He is.” Eren agreed, and Levi’s eye twitched in irritation. “But I’m also right here.”

“Bull. Shit.”

“Levi,” Erwin warned, then, facing Eren once more “Who are you?”

“Eren Jaeger.”

“No you’re not.” Erwin replied.

“Yes, I am.”

“It’s impossible.”

“Clearly not, considering I’m here.”

“You’re not Eren Jaeger.”

“I am. That hasn’t changed in the past five minutes.”

Erwin took a deep breath, also looking mildly annoyed. “You’re not.”

Eren smirked, “I am.”

“Okay, fuck this.” Levi scowled, and, in one fluid motion, drew his sword and crossed the room. Eren could feel the cold metal of the sword against his jugular, giving Levi a blank stare as if to say really? Levi snarled, pressing the sword a little further “Who. Are. You? And do not say Eren fucking Jaeger-”

“-Eren Jaeger.”

“You little shit!” Levi cursed.

[xiaongh]

[ early gossip. ]

➤ pairing: levi x fem!reader

➤ cw’s: suggestive - mentions of make up and angry sex, eren doesn’t knock, cursing, reader is 5′7, levi get’s embarrassed, the scouts goofing around, hange teases levi and reader, crackfic (?).

➤ summary: connie and jean dared eren to walk into levi’s bedroom without knocking. what they saw shocked them all, and word got around about what happened.

➤ w. count: 2k+

➤ request by anon: hey bestie, can i request a crackfic for aot. basically the scouts are dared to enter levi's bedroom and they see his fem s/o cuddling him, but they were sleeping and they didn't know that levi was a little spoon. and they end up waking them up. the rest is up to you bestie !

➤ a/n: PLEASE THIS WAS A SHIT TON OF FUN TO WRITE. YOURE WELCOME BESTIE AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. <3 gif isn’t mine. takes place when historia is going to be the queen, so season three-ish.

“i’m not doing shit! captain levi will have my head! if you really want to see what it looks like in there go do it yourself, i’m staying put here,” eren was getting nervous at what jean and connie dared him to do. 

like any group of teenagers, they stayed up all night, talked and played games. they had just started playing truth or dare when jean and connie both dared eren to walk into levi’s bedroom without knocking.

“what, you’re gonna be a pussy, jaeger?” jean teased. he knew that if he started calling eren a wimp for not wanting to do it, he would do it for sure. and the only reason he was pressuring him was because he himself wouldn’t do it either. 

“guys, i don’t think that’s a good idea. what if he genuinely gets upset. he won’t let us live it down,” armin reasoned.

all of the scouts were sitting up late at night in the lunch room with a candle in the center of the table. 

mikasa nodded her head in agreement, “and we also have to get up early for historia’s coronation tomorrow.”

“coronation for what?” asked sasha after getting a few snacks and opening the bags while putting them in the center of the table for everyone to grab their share. 

“sasha, hange told us this today,” armin chuckled nervously, “but it’s so she can become the queen tomorrow- or today since i’m assuming it’s pretty early judging by the way the sun is coming up.”

“that makes this even better, jaeger. if you do it now, there’s a chance that captain levi won’t even know,” connie encouraged. 

“don’t do it if you don’t want to, eren. it doesn’t make you a pussy like jean says,” since mikasa was seated next to eren she put a hand on his shoulder. 

eren’s face flushed and he nodded and sighed, “i’ll do it.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

eren’s fist shook as it hovered over the door knob of his office. after he stayed there for a while, jean complained, “c’mon and do this! we’ve all been wanting to see what his bedroom looks like,” jean whispered. if he had actually talked aloud, it would echo off the walls and levi would for sure wake up. 

eren looked back at him, “if it’s so easy, why don’t you do it?” eren whisper yelled back. mikasa stood in between them. sasha, connie, and armin were behind all of them -- preparing to run in case levi woke up. 

“guys, calm down, eren, if you’re going to do this, do it now.’

eren took a deep breath and his hand twisted the door knob. the door creaked and they all cringed. when the door opened -- levi’s office was present to them. of course they had all seen it already and knew it was always clean, but they were surprised when they saw how messy it was. his report papers were on the floor, the desk was cleared off with everything on the floor. the couch he had in his office was messed up with all of the cushions on the floor.

“... what do you think happened?” jean asked all of them as they all walked into his office. 

“there’s a slight chance that he got angry or something and went to go sleep it off. that probably explains why he didn’t clean it up,” armin said. after they scanned the room and its state, they all looked at the door in the far corner of the whole room. 

jean came up from behind eren, “go on, do it,” eren was sweating as he took cautious steps towards the door. 

they all followed behind in suspense. eren took a deep breath before putting his hand on the doorknob and twisting it quietly. this time the door didn’t creak. eren was the only one to walk in as the others stayed behind. 

eren’s eyes squinted and his eyebrows furrowed after he saw a rather big figure in levi’s bed that was too big to be levi. they were fully covered with the bed sheets -- meaning that eren would have to go on the other side of the bed to see who that was. 

eren’s footsteps were barely heard on the floor as he walked to the opposite side of the room and his eyes widened when he saw the face of commander y/n spooning a shirtless levi. 

his panicked eyes looked back to the group who had their heads peeped out of the doorway. in a panic, he misplaced his foot and a very audible creaking noise went through the room. eren slowly looked back at the duo in the bed and sighed in relief when they hadn’t woken up.

eren tip toed back to the rest of them. they all looked at him expectantly, “so, what’d you find out?” asked connie. they all stared at him eagerly. 

“uh- how do i word this?”

“spit it out.”

“captain levi is a ... little spoon, and they person spooning him is commander y/n,” their eyes were the size of saucers as they all rushed - quietly - into his bedroom and in fact saw that commander y/n was spooning captain levi. 

“he looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping,” said sasha. she was the closest to the two.

“sasha! back up,” jean whispered while pulling her back. 

they all inspected them. they looked a little too comfortable with each other. and that’s when armin connected the dots. while everyone was watching the two, he had figured something out. 

“wait- guys ..” they all looked back at armin. 

“what is it?” they all had their backs turned to the duo to hear what the blonde had to say.

“guys, you remember how everything was cleared off of his desk, and how his couch was a mess? the captain is shirtless .. and if i’m correct, commander y/n is also ,, uhm- shirtless,” armin looked at the floor with his new found discovery.

as if on time, a knife was thrown at armin. there was a small opening where they could throw something at armin. it didn’t hit him, but it was thrown next to his face and hit the wall, “bingo! you figured it out, arlert, i’m surprised though. thought it would take you longer,” they all slowly looked back in horror. 

there was you and levi - awake. 

while levi was undeniably flustered -- you didn’t have any shame. they all saw a bit of your side boob since levi was turned away from them and laying on your chest. when he realized who they were - thinking it was hange - his shy façade faded and he looked back at them while covering you up after seeing jean and eren looking a bit. 

“what the fuck are you guys doing here?” that’s when all hell broke loose. 

jean, connie, and sasha were yelling while running around the room. just when they were going to run out the room, a knife was thrown that stopped them. it hit the tip of sasha’s nose since she was in front. they looked back to see that you had thrown it. “no you don’t. unless you want to see my naked body, you’re not going anywhere.”

armin was on his knees repeatedly saying that they were sorry and begged for mercy. eren was getting yelled at by captain levi and mikasa was just standing there.

you and levi were properly sat up and levi offered most of the blanket to you for you to cover your breasts.

sasha, connie, and jean all walked to where eren was and they all got yelled at.

they were assigned cleaning, kitchen, and stable duty for 3 months, “any questions?”

eren looked up at you, “uh- if it’s not intruding or anything- what are you two?”

“now, that’s none of your business. jaeger-”

“levi, they need to know,” they all noticed how levi’s eyes softened a bit when they looked at you. levi sighed before nodding his head. 

“levi and i have been dating for 6 months now, and before any of you panic and ask us why we didn’t tell you- it’s because the both of us aren’t that fond of pda,” they all didn’t know how to respond to this.

armin was the first to speak up, “so .. did you two ... have-”

“make up sex and angry sex? yes. levi was being a bitch to everyone about something-”

“oh it wasn’t just something, you almost got yourself killed,” levi glared at you. 

they watched the both of you going back and forth before you ended the conversation to answer armins question, “anyways yeah he was mad about something and ignored everyone for like a week before he called me here yesterday night and apologized. i, of course, blew up on him and here we are now,” you grinned at them. 

levi was definitely going to say something to you later about revealing certain things about your relationship that didn’t need revealing. 

that’s when you rubbed your eyes and looked outside the window and panicked, “shit- levi we’re gonna be late. we have to do that thing and all the superiors need to be earlier than the scouts,” levi nodded his head. 

“hey, can you pass me that?’ you asked mikasa. mikasa’s cheeks flamed up when she saw you were pointing at your black bra on the floor. mikasa grabbed the bra and tossed it to you. now that they all looked at the floor, yours and levi’s clothes were thrown all over the place. 

you grabbed your panties from the nightstand besides your side of the bed and put them on. you looked over at levi who was staring at the group, “you’re not gonna get ready?”

levi shook his head, “i still have to deal with them,” after sasha tossed your jeans and shirt after pointing at them for her to grab, you put them on and stood up. your shirt wasn’t buttoned up - making your bra visible. levi knew you were in a rush so didn’t say anything. 

knowing that he was going to be stubborn, you walked over his side, “don’t be harsh on them, okay?” you gave him a kiss and hugged him before you walked out and shut the door. 

everything you needed was in your own bedroom. 

levi looked at where you left with a slight blush that made the scouts smile. they’re smiles faded when they saw the look their captain was giving them, “now that she’s gone ... let’s discuss some things.”

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

hange looked at the terrified and sleepy looking scouts in front of them at the lunch room. they raised an eyebrow at the scouts, “what happened? you guys look like you just went through hell and back.”

“it was just a stupid dare,” sasha started, “and we got yelled at by captain levi,” eren finished for her. 

“did he catch all of you staying up or something?”

“they walked into levi’s bedroom without knocking or anything,” you said after walking towards their table with levi behind you and sat yourself next to hange. levi sat next to you. 

“they don’t know how to fucking knock-”

“levi, we talked about this. they’re kids, let them have fun so they don’t get all grumpy like you,” you teased while bumping his shoulder with yours. 

hange looked between the two of you, “wait- did they walk in while you two were-?!” hange cackled. 

“more like the aftermath,” you chuckled. 

“that’s even worse!” hange held their stomach with both hands. 

the scouts looked at hange, “wait, you knew about them?!” they all exclaimed. 

hange wiped their tears, “of course i did? who do you think levi first told? he was so happy and couldn’t stop talking about it. when y/n first entered the training thing around the time levi joined, he wouldn’t stop getting all shy around her,” hange’s mouth was covered by you since you could tell that levi was getting annoyed. the scouts shivered, there was an aura surrounding the captain while he sipped his tea. 

“hange, if you want to live to see tomorrow, run for it,” they dashed out of the room.

that’s when you realized that hange quite literally yelled and everyone heard what hange had said and chaos broke loose. 

“they were dating?”

“captain levi’s known commander y/n for that long?”

“he had a crush on her when she first came here?”

“captain levi gets shy?”

“oi, leave it be or all of you will run 110 laps,” everyone went back to their business. 

you chuckled nervously and scratched the back of your head. 

levi looked all of them dead in the eyes, “knock next time or i’ll have your heads on a plate-”

“no, you won’t.”

“yes i will.”

“love, don’t start please.”

“you started it first.”

[bluesylveon2]

Pokemon Adventures: A Levihan Crackfic

Summary: Levi and Hange end up in a Pokemon region, but it is not a normal one. Join the duo on their quest to find Rika with the help from Zozo and Cal. Will they make it out or will they be stuck in that world forever?

Disclaimer: Pokemon is a video game series developed by Game Freak and published by Nintendo.  Attack on Titan is a manga/anime series written by Hajime Isayama and published by Kondasha.

A/N: This fic was submitted in the @levihan-drabbles crackfic contest and won 1st place. Enjoy!

"Levi! Levi!"

Levi groaned as he opened his eyes. "Hange, you're being too loud."

Said woman let out an exasperated sigh. "Levi, you need to get up and see this."

Levi opened his eyes to see the bright blue sky. The atmosphere was very encouraging and definitely not the Survey Corps headquarters. He sat up and saw Hange standing next to him in her everyday clothing. 

"What the? Where are we?"

"Good morning. Glad to see that you're awake." A female voice spoke from the sky.

Levi's hands automatically moved towards his hips where his swords should be, but he found them missing. 

"I had to take precautions." The voice spoke. "Let's say that your swords would make your quest…too easy."

"Who the hell are you anyway? What quest are you talking about." Hange yelled out. 

"You do not need to worry about my identity. Just call me Alpha. This quest is bestowed to people every few years."

"Why us?" Levi asked suspiciously.

"It's in the script. Just roll with it. This quest will help you escape from this world."

Hange gasped. "What do you mean?"

"You humans are currently in a different world. This place is called the Faulty region, where creatures named Pokémon live. Your quest is to capture the five legendaries to reach the creator of the region, Rika, located at Xiao Pillar."

"Quests?! You took us out of our world for a goddamn quest! What's next? Are we demigods that go to summer camp?"

The voice sighed. "No, that is for another group. Anyways, back to your quest. I will each grant you a Pokémon and Pokeballs to help you during your journey."

Two bright lights appeared in front of Levi and Hange. It formed into two different shapes until it dissipated into a dog-like and a cat-like pokemon.

"Levi, your partner Pokémon is Cal, the cat. Hange, your partner Pokémon is Zozo, the dog. They will help guide you to each legendary."

Hange moved to speak but stopped when Levi grabbed her shoulder and pulled her close. 

"Are we going to listen to some random voice and go on a wild goose chase?" He whispered.

"What choice do we have? We need to get out of here, Levi." Hange replied back before standing up. 

"We will do your damn quest!" She yelled before going silent, a look of realization on her face. "Which way do we go first?"

"Don't worry about that. I will help you as well." Alpha said, and there was a boom of lightning hit the protagonists. 

Everything turned black.

---

And so, our heroes went to confront the first legendary, Cashew, a panda. 

"Is that her?" Levi asked with narrow eyes. He and Hange were hidden behind some bamboo trees watching a fluffy panda munch on mixed nuts. 

"For sure. Cashew matches the description we got." Hange nodded while holding up a strip of paper that said a panda who loves nuts. 

"Fine. Let's capture this damn Pokemon." Levi grumbled and began to march forward, with Cal following behind. 

"Levi! Watch your-"

CRUNCH

"Step." 

Levi stopped moving when Cashew suddenly turned to them. He picked up his foot to find that he had stepped on a walnut.

"Son of a-" 

"WHO GOES THERE?? THESE NUTS WEREN'T FREE, YOU KNOW?" The Pokemon roared as she held her stash close to her. Her brown orbies met Levi's dark grey ones. 

"YOU!! HOW DARE YOU STEP ON MY PRECIOUS NUTS??"

"Shit." Hange cursed. "This would be a lot easier if we had our gear."

"We have to be careful before Cashew summons Chikachironi. That's her dinosaur with bright red eyes, by the way." A new, feminine voice spoke from next to her. 

Hange whipped her head to find out the source. Levi was too far away, and the voice sounded pretty close.

Unless….

"Yeah, I know I can talk. Cal can, too, but that is beside the point. We need to save your friend." Zozo spoke quietly as the panda continued to yell at Levi. 

"How do we do that?"

Zozo smirked. "I have an idea."

Meanwhile, Cashew was chasing Levi during Hange and Zozo's talk. 

"GET BACK HERE, YOU FINE SPECIMEN OF A MAN!"

"I don't know if that is a threat or a compliment," Cal said to Levi from his shoulder.

Oh yeah, Levi knows that Cal can talk now. 

"I don't even want to know," Levi admitted. 

"CASHEW IS FUSTY!" Zozo yelled. 

Cashew and Levi stopped in their tracks. "What??"

"CASHEW IS FUSTY!" Hange joined in. 

White shock lines appeared around Cashew. "Me? Fusty?" she was very offended and began to head towards Hange's direction. "I will have you know that is not me, but Jess-" Cashew was enveloped in a bright red light before going into a Pokeball Levi threw at her. 

The ball shook once, twice, three times, and then stopped. 

Pokemon acquired: Cashew the panda. 

---

With one Pokemon acquired, it was time for our protagonists to capture the next Pokemon, The Gabey.

"Man, this place is soft." Hange sighed while burying her face in the cloth. Levi thought finding this Pokemon was a little too easy. How hard would it be to find a gopher on a big mattress with no bed frame?

It was so easy, in fact, that Gabey appeared right in front of them. She eyed the duo curiously when a floating textbox appeared out of nowhere.

You are challenged by THE CHO CHO GABEY THE SEWAGE THE ATE THE KUYA THE KUYATE THE ADING THE FOSSIL THE BABYSITTER THE GAY BEE THE GOPHER THE ARTSIT THE FIC WRITER THE VA THE SINGER THE DOCTOR THE SORCERORR THE POPULAR THE PRETTIEDT THE TALEBTED THE AMAIZNG THE ONE WHO NEEDS SLEEP THE BOBO RHE GAGO THE SEWAGE RACCOON THE SECRETARY THE AUCTUONEER THE OEN WHO SLEPES IN VOCUE THE LEGEND THE GABEU THE CHIMKIN THE ANIMAL THE BABY PANDA THE CAT THE HIPPO THE DAYCARE CHILD THE QCTRESS THE NARCISISIT TEH PRINCESS THE ROYAL THE DETECTIBE THR FULM MAKER THR MUSICIAN THE MUSIC PRODUCER THE SEWGAY THE THIEDWHEEL THE TRAIN CONDUCTOR THE SWAG GAE GHE ANGST MAKER THE IMAGINATOR THE SADIST THE GOD THE JUDGE THE DEBATOR THE SENATOR THE PRESIDENT- 

The text stopped when Levi threw a Pokeball at The Gabey. The ball shook three times before clicking, indicating that the Pokemon was caught. 

Hange looked up at Levi with a confused look on her face. 

"What? The text was too long."

Pokemon acquired: THE CHO CHO GABEY THE SEWAGE THE ATE THE KUYA THE KUYATE THE ADING THE FOSSIL THE BABYSITTER THE GAY BEE THE GOPHER THE ARTSIT THE FIC WRITER THE VA THE SINGER THE DOCTOR THE SORCERORR THE POPULAR THE PRETTIEDT THE TALEBTED THE AMAIZNG THE ONE WHO NEEDS SLEEP THE BOBO RHE GAGO THE SEWAGE RACCOON THE SECRETARY THE AUCTUONEER THE OEN WHO SLEPES IN VOCUE THE LEGEND THE GABEU THE CHIMKIN THE ANIMAL THE BABY PANDA THE CAT THE HIPPO THE DAYCARE CHILD THE QCTRESS THE NARCISISIT TEH PRINCESS THE ROYAL THE DETECTIBE THR FULM MAKER THR MUSICIAN THE MUSIC PRODUCER THE SEWGAY THE THIEDWHEEL THE TRAIN CONDUCTOR THE SWAG GAE GHE ANGST-

"We get it!" 

---

Levi and Hange caught Cashew and the Gabey! It is time to capture the third Pokemon, Moon (not the actual moon but how cool would that be?)

"Capture the Moon with Tchaikovsky's tune." Hange read aloud while heading into town. 

"Tsk, are we actually going up to space?" Levi wondered because Ymir knew that there was no way they could get to the moon with their current technology.

Hange shook hee head. "I don't think so. Look," she pointed at the M in Moon. "That is capitalized, meaning it's not the moon, but it could be the pokemon's name." 

"Could be. Who is" Levi squinted. "Chai kov sky?"

A sudden rumbling appeared out of nowhere, startling both Levi and Hange. 

"What is going on?" Hange asked while holding onto Levi for dear life. 

"DID SPMENE SYA TCHAIKOVSKY?" a feminine voice yelled behind the "Welcome to Votkinsk" sign. 

"What did she say?" Levi asked, unsure about what that voice said. That was until a crescent moon appeared in front of them. 

Cal and Zozo stepped forward. "We speak Moon, so we can translate for you," Cal said.

"She asked if someone said, Tchaikovsky." Zozo translated. 

"TCHAIKOVSKY!!! TVR GRWTEDY CPMPOSWT OF THR LIFETNE?" 

"Tchaikovsky! The greatest composer of the lifetime." 

"Who is Tchaikovsky?" Levi asked with genuine confusion. He was not familiar with these names or music in general. 

Moon gasped, clearly offended. "NNRIDIRJ YPU DINT KNOW WHO HE IZ? TCHAOKOVKSY WAS AN AMAAZING COMPOSER WHO WAS BORJ IN MAY 7, 1840. HE WAS BERY EMOTIONAL AND DESPITE NOT LIKING SOKENOF HIS MUSIC, HE STILL WAS ABLE TO CREATE WONFERFUL COMPOSISITONS THAT WE CAN ENJOY TODAY <3" (source: DM with Moon)

“Keyboard smash. You don’t know who he is? Tchaikovsky was an amazing composer who was born on May 7, 1840. He was very emotional and despite not liking some of his music, he still was able to create wonderful compositions that we can enjoy today <3.”

Hange's eyes lit up with interest. "That's interesting! What is your favorite song?"

Moon gasped. "TCHAIKOVSKY SERENADE FOR STRINGS IN C MAJOR :DD!" (source: DM with Moon). She smiled as she pulled a violin out of thin air. "I CSN PLAU IT FOE YOU IF YOI WZNR?"

(Levi began to question where a moon would keep a violin but was too stunned to ask)

"She is asking if she can play Serenade for Strings in C Major for us."

"Of course!" Hange beamed. "My friend and I would love to hear it." 

Levi frowned slightly. "We do?"

"We do," Hange said with an elbow jab.

"OH THDNK YOU! YKU HAVE NO IDWD HOW LONG SUBVR I LADT PLATED! I CAN GP WUTH YIR AS AN AEATD FOR LISTNING TO ME PLAY.”

"She says it’s been a while since she last played. She is thanking us and she agrees to come with us after we listen to her play."

Moon set up her instrument into position (how?) and began to play. (Moon, I am literally listening to the song at 10 pm on a work night). The Pokemon kept playing until the last note. The music put Hange and Levi at ease with its intense and poetic tune.

"Ahh. Tchaikovsky. Such a wonderful composer." She sighed. Meanwhile, everyone was too shocked by Moon speaking clearly and not with all caps or keyboard smashes. "Anyways, I promised to join you. Cal." Moon said while directing her attention to the cat. "Can you take a Pokeball out of your trainer's bag so I can go in it?"

Cal brought over a Pokeball for Moon. The Pokemon tapped the top and disappeared in the red light. Everyone watched in silence as the legendary was caught.

"So.." Zozo started. "Looks like you two didn't have to do a pokemon battle anyway."

"What is a pokemon battle? Do we actually fight Pokemon?" Levi asked. To him, it was hand-on-hand combat like when he used to live in the Underground. 

Cal sighed. "I'll explain it to you later."  

Pokemon acquired: MOON TCHAIKOVSKY 

---

Our heroes find themselves going into a meadow to get the next legendary, Jess. Boy, are they in for a surprise!

"I wonder what Alpha means by surprise?" Hange spoke aloud as they entered the meadow. The only hint they received from the narrator for this legendary was one word: oui. 

"It better be a good surprise," Levi mumbled, his eyes searching for the legendary amongst the pink and white flowers. Maybe it was tiny?"

"Are you Levi and Hange?" a female voice spoke up next to Levi's feet. His eyes trailed down to find a long tail and blue fur. Levi was familiar with these creatures from the Underground. Yet, he could not help but shiver from the sight of it. 

"A RAT!" Levi yelled. He wished then and there that he had his swords or a broom. 

The rat jumped out of fear. Jess began to wave her paws around. "No, no, sir! I am Jess, the legendary that you are looking for!"

"Filthy." Levi frowned. A depression cloud began to form around Jess, and Hange noticed.

"Hey. It's okay. My friend is a little bit of a clean freak." Hange cooed in an attempt to cheer up the rat.

"If you say so."

Suddenly, a boom of lightning appeared, filling the area with smoke. Levi and Hange coughed from the dust and opened their eyes to see…another rat?

Levi fainted right on the spot. 

"What the??" Hange said with confusion, completely ignoring Levi. 

The other rat, a black and white one, was not happy. "WHAT THE HECK RIKA?!"

Jess' ears perked up from recognition. "Ness? Is that you? What are you doing here?"

"Well, one minute, Rika tried to convince me to watch some show; the next minute, I'M A RAT!"

Jess tilted her head. "Wait. I'm extremely confused?"

"You're confused?? I'm fucking confused, bro!" (Sorry, Ness. I had to put the TikTok reference, lol)

"I don't understand why Rika would send you here? She already has a rat legendary unless you're replacing me?"

"Oh heck no!" Ness exclaimed before turning to the protagonists. "You two." She pointed to Hange, who was not tending to Levi, with her paws. "You are trying to get to Rika, right?"

Hange nodded, unsure about what in the world was going on. 

"Good. Let me go with you so I can show her a piece of my mind." The rat used her tail to swipe Hange's bag, causing a Pokeball to fall on the ground with a plop. She scurried over, touched it, and disappeared in a red beam into the ball. It shook three times before coming to a stop.

Jess, who was silent the entire time, finally decided to speak. "I guess I will just go with you now?"

Pokemon acquired: Jess and Ness(?) Hey, that rhymes!

---

Now that our heroes have captured four (not including Ness) out of the five legendaries, they just need to capture one more legendary before meeting Rika.

"Do you have to narrate the entire journey?" Levi whispered to Hange with a frown on his face. 

"Yes. I am just reading off the script." Alpha's voice replied, causing Levi to frown even more.

"Cheer up, Levi." Hange smiled and looped her arm around the man's shoulders. "Maybe someone is reading about our quest, which is why Alpha is narrating it."

Levi rolled his eyes. "That sounds like bullshit."

"You never know." Cal and Zozo spoke up simultaneously, a small smile evident on their faces. 

The group continued walking until they stumbled on a forest filled with various berry trees. There were blue oran berries, red razz berries, yellow and orange figy berries, pink pecha berries, and more! The whole forest ran as far as the eye could see. 

"So, how do we find the legendary here?" Hange asked aloud to Levi. They had received a paper from Alpha, but the hint was very vague. It had only said to find the berry forest, and that was it. 

"I can help with that," Zozo spoke up from Hange's side before running off to climb up an aspear berry tree. She plucked the yellow fruit off the tree and returned back to Hange. She set the aspear berry down in front of her trainer's feet. "There is a reason why this legendary resides in a berry forest. Deep within it is Bibble's shrine. All we have to do is collect some berries and give them to her as an offering."

"Bibble? What kind of name is Bibble?" Levi asked.

"Long story short, it's the name they chose when they decided to be a god. Don't ask why." Cal admitted. Hange and Levi stared at the cat and blinked. 

"Okay… Let's go find some berries." Hange smiled and walked off with Zozo. Levi followed suit with Cal. 

The duo split up to tackle multiple trees. It was not long before the trainers gathered a generous amount of berries for Bibble. 

"I will lead you all to Bibble's shrine. Just set the berries down in front of it, and she will show up in no time." Zozo said and walked ahead of their group. They continued walking until they saw a small, wooden shrine in a grassy clearing. Hange and Levi walked to its front and set their berries down. 

They waited

And waited

And waited 

"Are those for me? Don't mind if I do." A deep, jazzy-like male voice asked from behind a tree.

"Oh no…Bibble must have eaten a razz berry." Cal sweatdropped.

"What do you mean?" Levi asked.

"Sometimes berries can affect Bibble's voice. It is not often, but it occasionally happens."

Suddenly, a small pink and blue puffball thing with wings appeared and examined the berry pile. 

"Ooo, the Bibble is very pleased. I am going to eat well tonight." They grinned before picking up and taking a bite of a juicy, yellow pinap berry. 

The group watched closely to see how this berry would affect the Pokémon. They did not expect an opera singer's voice to come out.

"Are you the travelers that Rika mentioned?" Bibble asked while turning to greet her guests.

Hange and Levi nodded, unaware and confused about what was happening. 

"Ahh, that is slay. Very slay indeed. Okay, I will accompany you on your journey under one condition. You must say "praise the Bibble," and that is it."

"That's it? We're supposed to bow down to a floating rat (I'm sorry, Ash!) with wings?" Levi asked.

Bibble frowned. "Are you challenging my authority? You need ME to get out of here Shorty."  

Hange rolled her eyes before grabbing the back of Levi's head and pushing him down, forcing him to bow. "All hail lord Bibble." She chanted and glared at Levi to do the same. Levi sighed and joined in.

Bibble smirked with glee. "That is more like it! I will join you on your quest." The Pokemon flew over to Hange’s bag, grabbed a Pokeball, and disappeared inside it. 

Pokémon acquired: Lord Bibble.

---

Now that our heroes caught all the Pokemon needed, it is finally time to meet with Rika, the creator of the Faulty region. Will our heroes make it back to their world, or will they be stuck in this world forever? Stay tuned in to find out!

"I never expected there to be so many stairs," Hange complained aloud, the sun shining brightly, causing everyone to sweat. The whole group, including the caught legendaries, trailed along behind her. 

"Tell me about it," Zozo grumbled.

The group stopped in an area with twelve empty granite pedestals (five lower ones and six higher ones) with a throne at the very top. 

"So, how do we summon Rika?" Levi whispered to Cal. 

"The others know what to do. We just have to sit and wait." 

The five legendaries, minus Ness, separated until they stood on top of the five lower pillars. They all began to glow with different colors as the sky became dark. The legendaries began to sing Careless Whisper while Cashew played her saxophone (like Moon, she pulled the instrument out of thin air). Alpha's voice boomed across the sky.

"Rika! Hear us! We summon you!"

Levi and Hange watched in awe as a bright light ripped through the clouds. A girl wearing purple and white clothing with blue accents (think Xiao for this) appeared floating in the sky. She had her eyes closed as she descended down until she sat on the throne. The girl opened her eyes, revealing her yellow topaz orbs. Cal, Zozo, and Ness (although reluctantly) immediately bowed to her. Levi and Hange followed suit. 

"Welcome. You all can rise." She commanded with a soothing voice. Rika turned her attention to the humans. "My name is Rika. You must be Levi and Hange. I heard so much about you." she smiled. 

Hange made a move to speak but was interrupted by Ness. 

"Hey, Rika! You got some explaining to do! Why am I a rat? It should be you!"

Rika tilted her head, feigning innocence and trying to hold back a laugh. "What do you mean? I think the new look suits you."

"You little!"

Rika snapped her fingers, and Ness stopped talking. The rat opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Meanwhile, the five legendaries (minus Cashew because Ness is her spouse), Zozo, and Cal tried so hard not to laugh from their seats. 

Angered by being muted, Ness began to charge at Rika until she snapped again. This time, Ness ran straight into a wall. She tried to run back to charge but realized she could only go back one foot. In short, Rika put Ness in an invisible box. 

Rika turned back to Levi and Hange. "Now. where were we?"

"We were promised by the damn narrator that you will take us back to our world," Levi said, getting straight to the point.

"Ahh, right. Alpha did promise that. Very well, your wish is my command." 

"Wait." Hange stepped forward. "Why were we the ones sent to this world? What caused us to go here?"

Rika smiled as if remembering something. "I had a feeling you would ask that. To be honest, the reason you are here is out of coincidence. My six mythical friends (the mythical Pokemon being Sav, Anna, Min, Julia, Amanda, and Jaxx) randomly decided on you two to enter this world and go on an adventure. I assure you that they do this all the time, but they do not mean any harm."

"That's it? It was out of luck?"

Rika nodded. "That is correct."

Hange let out a loud sigh. "Well, that is great! Here I thought that we would be stuck here until we die." She then turned to Levi and held out her hand. "Let's go home."

Levi grabbed her hand. "I agree," he said with a small smile. He then turned to the five legendaries and Cal. "I am going to miss you all."

"Same here! I will miss you the most, Zozo." Hange added. 

Everyone said their goodbyes to the humans while Zozo and Cal left their side to stand next to Rika. 

"Goodbye, and I wish you luck in your world." Rika snapped her fingers again, and everything turned black. 

---

"Oi Hange. Get up." 

Hange grumbled incoherently and turned away from Levi. "Five more minutes."

"No," he said. He proceeded to pick up Hange and throw her over his shoulder. "I do not want you to miss breakfast again." 

"You could have at least brought me breakfast in bed," Hange whined as they left her room.

"No thanks." 

It was silent as Levi made his way through the corridor. Both of them had the same thought in their heads. Was that all a dream? 

"Hey, Levi. Did you dream that you and I went to another world?"

Levi hummed in agreement. "I think it was just a fever dream. Nothing more."

"You think it is our minds playing with us?" 

"Maybe."

Hange stayed silent. Although everything felt like a dream, it was actually fun to go on an adventure with Levi and a group of people. Maybe she could set up one with the 104 kids?

"Whatever you are thinking in your head, save that for another time." Levi randomly said as if he had read her mind.

"Oh, come on, Levi! It would be so much fun."

"We'll see." a small smile adorned Levi's face. He never disagreed with the idea, but he did not agree with it yet.

---

Meanwhile, a few years later. 

A man with long black hair and wearing a half and half haori groaned on his spot. He had a pounding headache and felt something or someone poking his cheek. The last thing he remembered was going to sleep after a long night fighting some demons.

"Ara ara, Tomioka-san~. I see that you are finally awake. I need you to help me out with something."

Tomioka opened his eyes to find the Insect Hashira, Shinobu, looking down at him and poking his cheek. The sky behind her was very bright and unfamiliar to the Water Hashira. 

“Shinobu? Where are we?”

"Welcome, heroes!" A female voice suddenly called out from the sky.

What the? 

---

Credits:

Narrator: AlphaDogg

Humans:

Levi Ackerman

Hange Zoe

Pokémon:

Partner Pokemon: Zozo: @oyzoe and Cal @gaygemtheirs

Legendaries: Rika: @pinkweirdsunsets, Ness: @glassesandswords, Cashew: @immagoudaboi, The Gabey: @malunggaybe, Jess: me, Moon: @snudootchaikovsky, Bibble: @lordbib

The Seven OG Members: @aphee-sheiz, @tundrainafrica, @hanjinoyume, @halcyonstorm, Julia, and Jaxx (idk their tumblr or socials 😭)

Special guests:

Tomioka Giyuu

Shinobu Kocho

---

©: This is where I insert all rights reserved stuff. This story belongs to me. Do not modify or republish.

[nebulousnajm]

whose child is this? - levihan crackfic

Levi heads to his room to grab a document from his desk, but all thoughts of bureaucracy and paperwork fly out of the window as he finds a baby sitting and blabbering to itself on his bed. The baby looks up at him in the doorway and exclaims “papa!” upon seeing him.

He frowns. Very few of the survey corps have children, and so he’s familiar with how those look like. This brunette child is not one of them, “whose brat are you?” he asks, as if it is capable of answering him.

Did a governor or someone from the inner walls visit? It’s probably someone’s child that wandered off. He sighs, closes the door, and goes to ask the guards stationed at the headquarter doors about any recent visitors. The answer is “no sir, only the supply carts have come today,” he nods in thanks and deliberates on what to do.

On his way back to his room, Levi passes by Hange’s lab. He can hear them sorting through their books, probably looking for some obscure fact to back up a working theory. He knows that Hange is friendly and on talking terms with all of the staff, so they may recognize the tiny intruder.

(continued after the cut)

He knocks –to announce his presence– and enters the room. He finds Hange scanning a book with one hand and jotting down notes every other second with the other, all the while muttering to themselves. For a split second there’s something comforting about the sight; about seeing them be at some level of peace doing something they love. But he pushes the thought away into the forbidden corner in his mind where all similarly sentimental thoughts go.

“Hey four-eyes,”

Hange looks up, “hm? oh hey Levi! i didn’t hear you coming in”

“I’m not surprised. Anyways, did one of the supply staff have a brat recently?”

They look thoughtful, “..no i don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

It’s an expected question; he’s never expressed an interest in the detailed lives of the staff, but given his current predicament, he’s sort of forced to know more.

Levi also realizes that there’s no way to explain the situation in a way that will make sense, but then again, Hange has never needed things to make sense to take them seriously.

“There’s a... baby in my room, and i don’t know whose it is,” he looks away and doesn’t mention that said baby thought he was it’s father.

“What?!”

“I don’t know! Why do you think i’m asking you?”

He must look visibly flustered because Hange laughs and puts down their book, “alright, maybe if i see this mysterious baby i’ll recognize it,” they get up and –presumably– head to his room. He spares a glance at the lab before he follows; it’ll need a dusting soon.

Once he catches up to them, they ask, “what does it look like?”

“Brown hair and grey eyes, you’ll see for yourself,”

“Grey eyes huh? I don’t think I know of anyone who has a grey-eyed baby,”

Levi wearily hopes that Hange unlocks that memory once they see it; this whole situation is starting to take a lot longer than he’d like it to.

They reach his room and find the baby looking around in wonder at its surroundings. It’s quiet. He remembers that this is unusual for babies but doesn’t know what to do with that piece of information.

Hange giggles as they approach the tiny creature on the bed, “who are you, you little cutie?”

The baby raises its arms and says “mama!”

Hange complies with the request and lets it wrap its small arms around their neck and rest it’s head on their shoulder.

“I’m not your mother though,” a small pause as they notice something on the baby, “aww you have a book with you?”

It does? Levi hadn’t seen if it had something in its hands, but going off of the small yellow cardboard square it’s holding, it apparently does. He plucks the item from its hands, and reads the title out loud, “The Bumblebee and The Tulip”. The script on the cover is legible but strange.

Hange smiles, “it’s been ages since i’ve seen a children’s book, I’ve only ever found them in Sina,” they glance back at the baby, “so you’re a rich kid, huh?”

“Doesn’t look like one though. No fancy hair clips or jacket. Not even expensive shoes,”

They hum thoughtfully, “true. What a strange little specimen,” they take a look at the baby’s clothes, “speaking of strange, these clothes are weird too. Simpler yet somehow more complicated than usual,”

Well. This isn’t going great, “I don’t think there’s anything “usual” left in this situation,”

The baby, which has been sitting contentedly in Hange’s arms this entire time, now reaches towards him and says, “papa,”

He narrows his eyes at it, “why does it think we’re it’s parents? And can it only say those two words?”

Hange laughs a little, “I don’t know, but babies can only say so much. Do you know how to hold one?”

The answer must be on his face because they just continue, “you basically have them sit on your arm, and you support their neck or back with a hand as well, here try it,” and they offer the baby to him.

“I think i’ll drop it if I try to carry it,”

“You won’t, this one’s quite light so you’ll be able to handle it,”

Levi shoots them an unimpressed look but hold out his arms anyway. Hange hands the small thing over to him and arranges his arms so that they look like how Hange’s did. He’s still a little worried that he’ll accidentally hurt the child even as it just sits there and stares at him with strangely familiar grey eyes.

Hange tilts their head to the side and smiles, “you look kind of adorable together,”

He glares at them with no real heat, “no we don’t”

“It’s true! You know what? Actually..” but they trail off.

That’s weird. Hange never keeps an observation to themselves, “what is it?”

They look kind of sheepish, “okay, well, it’s ridiculous, but the baby does look a little like both of us,”

“What,”

“I know it’s impossible, but it has your eyes and it’s nose looks like what mine did when i was that age,”

Levi looks back at the baby and a weird feeling blooms in his chest. Hange’s observation explains why the eyes were familiar; he’s seen them everyday in the mirror. He also notes that even the baby’s hair is of a very similar shade to Hange’s, but that doesn’t mean anything; brown hair is very common.

“Right, well. This brat might look like us but that doesn’t mean shit. It’s not our child and we don’t know whose it actually is,”

Hange sighs, “I’m sure we’ll find it’s parents once we ask around, but it is confusing. You said you just found it on your bed?”

“Yeah,”

“No disturbance around it? Any footprints or signs that the window was open or anything?”

“I wasn’t really focusing on that when I found it,” but he does take stock of his room now and notes that nothing seems out of place; as if the child simply manifested into existence.

Just as they’re contemplating on who to ask, they hear voices. But not from the hallway.

The sound of two voices in conversation came from the wall to the left, the one that has no door or window and just connects to more stone. Yet it sounds like someone is coming from there as if through a hallway.

Levi and Hange glance at each other, “Levi do you have a secret corridor attached to your room?”

“No. why would I-“ but he stops short as the voices become clearer.

Because if this entire thing wasn’t weird as fuck already, it’s their voices that are coming closer, and he starts to be able to pick out the conversation:

“Four-eyes i swear to god if our child is in the universe of the cannibal-murder-giants,” that’s his voice. What the fuck. To make matters worse, the baby he’s holding turns towards the voice with excitement.

Someone, no, Hange laughs. That’s their laugh, but Hange is standing right next to him staring wide-eyed at the wall.

“There’s nothing to worry about! the drop range I set for here is limited to only the building where our parallels work at, so Kora should be safe. what I’m really hoping for is to find her alon-“

Two people materialize as they step out of the wall, and freeze upon seeing them.

Two people, may he add, that look and sound exactly like them.

A very thick silence suffocates the air, and it’s only broken when the baby squirms in his hold, reaches out towards the other two and says “mama! papa!”

The other Hange awkwardly waves at the child while the other Levi simply says “shit,”

Other-Hange tries to smile, “uh hi. can we have our child back, please?”

“your child?” the real Hange chokes out.

“Yes, she accidentally wandered here while we weren’t paying attention,” other-Hange replies as if answering a normal inquiry about the weather.

This other-Hange approaches him with their arms out to receive the child and he instinctively steps back. The other-Levi laughs, “we’re not gonna bite,”

His own hold on the baby isn’t going to last while she’s trying to jump into her mother’s arms, so he tentatively hands her and her book over lest he drops both.

He notes that other-Hange wears a wedding ring, and when he glances over to his apparent twin, he’s wearing a matching one too. Great.

“You just caused a huge mess, you know that Kora?” the other-Hange tells the baby with a fond smile.

Kora simply laughs in response.

Levi’s fairly sure that his brain short-circuited, because he asks “who are you?”

“Damn I didn’t think I would be this stupid” other-Levi says.

other-Hange laughs a little, “hey be nice! you weren’t the brightest bulb when you learned of this either,”

“Yeah whatever, we gotta head back anyway before we break this universe,”

“Right. Well, it was interesting meeting you two. Try to convince yourselves that this was some weird fever or lucid dream, things will go smoother that way,”

And with that, both Others turn back to phase through the stone wall they came from. Kora waves at them both as she disappears without a trace, just like how she appeared in the first place.

It might have been minutes or hours that Levi and Hange just stood there gaping at the wall, but eventually he says “what the fuck?”

“I have so many questions. I’m going to be thinking about this for the rest of my life,” Hange says as they sink down to sit on the floor.

Levi joins them and thinks that maybe one of the new recruits snuck something into the tea.

–––––––––––––

thanks for reading! 

this fic can also be found on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31065770

please don’t repost or upload on another site :)

[djmarinizelablog]

Drabble prompt: Hange’s favorite nut are cashews :) do what you will 🐒

"Levi!" Hange calls out to him while they're munching on her favorite snack. "Knock knock."

He doesn't have time for this, really. He's got a mountain of reports to do, not to mention he has to train the 104th with the new equipment.

But this is Hange, so he relents.

"Who's there."

There's the crunching sound for a while, Hange's teeth gnashing and grinding the nuts in their mouth.

"Cashew nut," they respond, and Levi can only roll his eyes.

"...Cashew nut, who."

In one swift motion, Hange jumps right up from the couch and clears their throat, grin already too wide to stop:

"Don't tell me you're sorry," they sing, "...CASHEW NUT!"

With one hand, Levi instantly flings the papers from his desk to the wall.

ha, get that @immagoudaboi?

[rainy-tree-bird]

Masterlist

My Hero Academia

💥 Bakugou Katsuki  💥

Secrets 

Time sure flies (Angst)

Sleepy-head

❄️Todoroki Shoto🔥

Confession

💙Dabi💙

Blind date

One wish (Mafia Dabi x Female reader)

🥦Midoriya Izuku🥦

Cruel fate (Angst, villain Deku)

Series

😜 Crackfics by me and my friends  😜

Disclaimer: All of these are OC’s

A day in Aot(Attack on Titan)

[briabell]

Truth or Dare with Captain Levi

A/N: Don't ask..

Levi didn’t plan to end up in the situation: surrounded by a group hormonal teenagers in an intense game of truth or dare. The group was being particularly rowdy at dinner coming from a surprise ODM gear evaluation that night. Little did Levi know they were in the midst of a spicy truth or dare session. It was really all Jean’s fault. The cheeky bastard called him a chicken… well not really but Levi took it that way.

“Could you brats keep it down? You’re being rowdy.” Levi’s presence alone made the whole table silent. “Sorry, Cap. We were playing a game,” (Name) had a playful smirk on their face to match their usual playful and flirty demeanor. “You should join us!”

“No, (Name). Captain Levi wouldn’t even be up for it.” Jean said. “What is that supposed to mean, cadet?” Levi asked with a raised eyebrow.

And it all went downhill after that.

By this time Sasha dared Eren to kiss Jean’s cheek, sounds harmless but it took Eren about half an hour to go through on the dare and Jean another 45 minutes to actually let Eren do the dare.

So far everything was smooth sailing for Levi, until it was (Name)’s turn. No one really had the guts to ask Levi the infamous question. Their eyes fell on Levi and they made intense eye contact.

“Captain Levi. Truth or dare.” (Name) asked making the whole table go silent. “Dare.” Perfect.

Levi knew he messed up when (Name)’s smile turned into a devious smirk.

“I dare you to tell Commander Erwin he’s thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.” They said. The whole table snickered at Levi’s expression but quickly shut up when they all got the death glare. “Fine.” Levi got up from the table and headed towards the table Commander Erwin was at enjoying his dinner in peace.

Erwin saw Levi approaching him and it looked like he was on a mission. Erwin thought it was a serious matter and quickly snapped into Commander mode.

Levi stopped at the edge of the table and made intense eye contact with Erwin. By this time the whole mess hall was silent.

“Levi.” Erwin nodded his head to the shorter man. “You’re thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.” Levi said with his facial expression never changing from that scowl. The whole cafeteria was sent into fits of laughter.

But the look Erwin had was priceless. It was a mixture of confusion, amusement, flattery and embarrassment.

[autumndory]

Ignite the Night's BTS

The final chapter for Ignite the night is here!

Read it on AO3 in English.

Read it on Wattpad in Spanish.

Thank you SO much to EVERYONE who have read this crackfic. I know it covered a topic which is not the cup of tea of everyone but I am so glad you gave it a chance. Thank you for the comments and kudos. I truly appreciate it. 

The artwork was made by three talented people. 

The Wings of Freedom gown was made by: Zoevihan

Hange in a blue jumpsuit was made by: Anji

Hange in the green dress was made by: Giulia

As I mentioned in a previous post, I wanted the details of this story to be to be as canon as possible under the circumstances of being an AU/modern setting based fic, even THOUGH characters are out-of-character, hence the crackfic label.

Some details are:

Hange struggled with money in Jr. High and Levi had to lend her money more than once. So, when I wrote broke Hange, I wanted to showcase that.

Hange's insecurity comes due to her on canon being insecure of her job as a commander, going to the extent of saying that Erwin made a mistake.

Hange's intelligence, according to the AOT encyclopedia, is 11/10 making her, along with Zeke, the smartest character. Having that said, you know Q&A portion of the pageant was not going to be a problem for her.

The gown obviously was inspired by the Wings of Freedom, which in the story, is a poem that both Kuchel and Hange's mother used to read to them when Levi and Hange were little. So, it has a lot of significance for both.

Top 15

Going onto the Top 15: I wanted the represented places to be as canon as possible. Here's a breakdown in the order they were called.

Shiganshina: Mikasa Ackerman

- I was debating on giving her the title of Hizuru but since she doesn't have a deep connection with that place, I opted for her hometown within the walls.

Dauper: Sasha Blouse

- This is Sasha's hometown.

Mitras: Historia Reiss

- Royalty and the upper class lives in Mitras which is located in Wall Sina.

Stohess: Annie Leonhart

- Annie is not from here but oh, boy... the havoc she caused in this place.

Liberio: Pieck Finger

- This is Pieck's hometown.

Forêt Geanté: Petra Ral

- This is a poor French translation (on purpose because I was not going to write the entire thing) for Forest of the Giant Trees which is another name for the Titan Forest. I think you know why I gave her this location.

Utopia Kreis: Nifa Kenneth (not mentioned)

- Kreis is district in German as I didn't want to put district on the sash.

- Kenneth is the longer version for the name Kenny and we already know what he did to Nifa.

Orvud: Hitch Dreyse

- She's in the Military Police which is located inside Wall Sina and Orvud is a district inside of this wall.

Untertage: Isabel Magnolia

- Untertage is the German translation for Underground.

Karanes: Mina Carolina

- Mina's hometown.

Trost: Rico Brzenska (not mentioned)

- She is the only surviving leader when the Alpha Squad had to protect Eren in the liberation of Trost.

Utgard Castle: Nanaba Hagen

- I gave Nana a pretty common Scandinavian last name.

- Utgard Castle is where we saw her for the last time.

Lago: Yelena Fedorova

- I couldn't find where Yelena is from so I gave her a Marleyan city. - Yelena is a fairly common name in Russia so I gave her the last name Fedorova.

- Fedorova is the last name of the only Russian Miss Universe, who won the coveted crown in 2002 and then she was dethroned. Easter egg right there!

Yarckeland: Ymir Freyr

- Freyr is a god in the Norse mythology and we know how Marleyans saw Ymir so I gave her a godly last name to match her godly first name.

- Yarckel District is where the Beast Titan appears for the first time.

Odiha: Zoe Hange

- Well, we barely know about Hange's origins and past but we sure know where she (unfortunately) met her demise. _______________________________________

The Top 10 is: Utgard Castle, Untertage, Forêt Geanté, Stohess, Liberio, Orvud, Mitras, Dauper, Shiganshina, Odiha

Even though, I didn't mention it, every candidate had a gown which represented them in a certain way. Mikasa had a red gown which had a chiffon scarf, Annie's gown was nude and red in an ode to the Female Titan, Piecks gown was a see-through black gown, etc. And the swimsuit was inspired in the black uniform from S4.

Hange's reaction:

Being Hange, you expect an extravagant reaction like screaming and waving arms; but to the contrary, Hange is not like that when it comes to news. Honestly, I wanted the reaction to be as canon as possible to how she reacted when Erwin Smith named her the next commander. You can see that she is stunned; but remains calm. He knows she is capable, but she doubts herself, which we later see when he passes away and so forth.

Hange's predecessor, successor and reign.

Before Hange won the crown, the queen was Ymir Fritz, who represented Founder's Isle. It was the first time a mute candidate competed in the pageant, so she was not the typical queen. The charity work she performed was always conducted with the assistance of an interpreter.

Through her efforts, she was able to establish communities on her small island, which earned her the love and admiration of the public. And Hange's successor was Gabi Braun, who proudly represented Liberio.

Hange's reign lasted 18 months, making her the longest reigning Miss Eldia. The reason for that is because she was a profitable sovereign. Just like Ymir, Hange made history not only in her represented town, but all over Eldia.

For Hange's final walk as Miss Eldia, I got inspired by Miss Universe 2007, Riyo Mori from Japan. She was the first Miss Universe to wear a tuxedo to crown her successor, breaking stereotypes at the time.

Again, I am grateful for everyone who read this take on the theme Royalty and I don't want to know about the theme anymore for Semana Levihan 2022.

Thank you!!!

[astridthevalkyrie]

my love i've been searching your account for a master list but all i can find is the one with superior and like the ovas

do you not have a master list of all your other writings or am i just not looking in the right place

i don’t have a full masterlist yet, I’m sorry! however, aside from a crackfic on ao3 and small drabbles on tumblr, I haven’t written anything else for aot besides superior. if you wanted to see works from other fandoms, you can check out my ao3 or go through my valkyrie stories tag.

i’ll try to make one eventually, possibly when I finish superior and start working on the next levi fic i have planned.

[1doll-4u]

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

hello! if you want to submit a request please read the following rules before doing so. if you would like to see how i write, check out my masterlist.

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 — 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 | 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈 | 𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀 — 𝐌. 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒

please ask nicely.

wait patiently.

𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓:

certain ships.

character x reader requests.

poly relationships.

yandere/disturbed version of a character.

submitting more than one request.

nsfw requests. i need more practice in it.

𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓:

character x oc’s, i’m sorry but it would be too complicated to write.

male pregnancy in ship requests.

incest (self explanatory).

writing other bodily fluids that aren’t blood, throw up, or cum. (sweat is fine, ofc).

𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐒

boku no hero academia/my hero academia — (bnha/mha)

haikyuu — (hq)

hunter x hunter — (hxh)

attack on titan — (aot)

black butler — (anime)

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒

𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀:

todoroki x midoriya — (tododeku)

bakugou x midoriya — (bakudeku)

kirishima x bakugou — (kiribaku)

midoriya x toga — (togadeku)

momo x jirou — (momojirou)

𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔:

kageyama x hinata — (kagehina)

tsukishima x yamaguchi — (tsukkiyama)

iwazumi x oikawa — (iwaoi)

kuroo x kenma — (kuroken)

ushijima x tendou — (ushiten)

𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐗 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑:

none

𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍:

none

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐑:

none

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒:

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒):

Q: which character(s) do you want the reader to be paired with?

(character) x reader

(character A) x reader x (character B)

(characters) x reader — [ more than two characters paired with the reader ]

𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐒:

these are just examples of how to fill this out, you don’t have to request these characters.

bakugou x reader

bakugou x reader x todoroki

bakugou x reader x todoroki x deku

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒/𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑:

Q: what pronouns do you want the reader to be referred to as?

she/her

he/him

they/them

𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂/𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄:

you don’t need to apply these specific sequences in your request, you can do them in different orders.

what sort of dynamic/roles do you want?

character - dominant + reader - submissive

(character A) - dom + reader - sub + (character B) - dom

etc.

𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐒:

here are some examples:

bakugou - dom + reader - sub

bakugou - dom + reader - sub + todoroki - dom

etc.

𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂:

Q: what type of fanfic do you want?

one shot — [ a short story usually has only one part ]

imagine/scenario [ a short one shot, length is at most two to four paragraphs, maybe longer if i’m rlly into the request ]

head canon — [ bullet points of a character and, ‘canon’ things they’ll do/react to in a situation ]

short story — [ short story contains below ten chapters at most, it’s sort of like a one shot but longer ]

preference — [ a big paragraph with a main topic for each character ]

drabble — [ a short piece of writing at one hundred words ]

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄:

Q: what genre(s) do you want?

angst — [ sad, angsty vibes lol ]

fluff — [ happy/soft vibe ]

alternative universe — [ au, omegaverse, etc ]

darkfic — [ often a more twisted and dark/grim version of something originally light hearted/happy, big contrast ]

fixfic — [ rewriting a canon scene that you dislike and, ‘fixing’ it ]

songfic — [ writing influenced/inspired by a song ]

crackfic — [ a strange piece of writing that may or may not contain canon info ]

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏(𝐒) 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒:

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆(𝐒):

Q: which character(s) do you want paired with?

(character A) x (character B)

(character A) x (character B) x (character C)

(characters) x (character A) — [ more than two characters paired with (character A) ]

𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂/𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐒:

you don’t need to apply these specific sequences in your request, you can do them in different orders.

what sort of dynamic/roles do you want?

(character A) - dominant + (character B) - submissive

(character A) - dom + (character B) - sub + (character C) - dom

etc.

𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐒:

here are some examples:

bakugou - dom + midoriya - sub

bakugou - dom + midoriya - sub + todoroki - dom

etc.

𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂:

Q: what type of fanfic do you want?

one shot — [ a short story usually has only one part ]

imagine/scenario [ a short one shot, length is at most two to four paragraphs, maybe longer if i’m rlly into the request ]

head canon — [ bullet points of a character and, ‘canon’ things they’ll do/react to in a situation ]

short story — [ short story contains below ten chapters at most, it’s sort of like a one shot but longer ]

preference — [ a big paragraph with a main topic for each character ]

drabble — [ a short piece of writing at one hundred words ]

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄:

Q: what genre(s) do you want?

angst — [ sad, angsty vibes lol ]

fluff — [ happy/soft vibe ]

alternative universe — [ au, omegaverse, etc ]

darkfic — [ often a more twisted and dark/grim version of something originally light hearted/happy, big contrast ]

fixfic — [ rewriting a canon scene that you dislike and, ‘fixing’ it ]

songfic — [ writing influenced/inspired by a song ]

crackfic — [ a strange piece of writing that may or may not contain canon info ]

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋

you can submit requests in my inbox.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄

be patient, i get burned out a lot and have many days where i think my writing is crap.

i may not write certain requests if they make me uncomfortable or if i just can’t write the reader with a certain character.

i won’t be writing the requests in order. i’ll be writing any requests i feel like writing atm.

if you have any questions that isn’t answered in this post, you may ask in my inbox.

[pockyandshipping]

This might just be the part of me that turned Shrek Is Love, Shrek Is Life into a hurt/comfort canon/OC aot smutfic by excluding the shrekness from it, but honestly this fic gave me a great idea.

Aside from that this is the most solid crackfic I've read in ages. It's horrifying.

Not the worst though-

for anyone asking “what’s dick for all”

don’t blame me for what happens next

[definitelyyessnakedemons]

Things I currently have partially-written.

(Not counting ongoing fics that are posted to FFN/AO3 but I’ve made 0% progress on their next chapter. I am also not listing the unfinished stuff that I posted to AO3 in a collection called “Bits’n’Bobs”... because y’all can just go look at that if you’re curious and there’s like 30 things in it so it would make this post ridiculously longer)

Strap in, it’s long damn list.

Lovebirds (Attack on Titan soulmate AU):

Levihan chapter: currently sitting at almost 800 words, has one complete scene and one partial scene

Mikasa’s chapter: about 100 words and I haven’t decided who her soulmate even is yet (although characters on the shortlist for it are: Annie, Mike, Connie, Marco)

Armin/Jean chapter: about 100 words so far, and it’s looking like it will be all angst

Lukewarm Rain ch. 11: One sentence is written.

Happiness and Sadness Lies Too Close (HP drabble for an old challenge): half a sentence written.

Shattered Eternity: The next poem for this collection only needs one or two more stanzas to be complete, but I haven’t figure out how to phrase them yet.

Partial rewrite of Pseudo Sacrosanct Perversion, to fix the issues with the currently-posted version. Never finished it for some reason, even though it’s just revising & adding a bit to something I already wrote.

Shinseiki no Kyojin ch. 6 (Aot/Evangelion crossover): 220 words, one scene and one sentence of another scene are written.

Sidelines: 45 words of the next drabble are written (part of the puppy saga)

Starbright (RWBY soulmate AUs): 300 words of the latest installment are written, but it’s a patchwork mess that I still have to fill in and connect the scenes. // also literally 1 sentence written for a different Starbright drabble // also a second version of that 1 sentence (which I’d forgotten I saved somewhere else in my mess of documents)

Red (working title, will probably change): Shanks/reader, currently sitting at about 150 words

Variegated Agate (will be a Sanji/Nami drabble collection if I ever get any of the drabbles finished): 2 different chapters sitting at about 70-80 words each.

75 words of a depressing “bad ending” to Exploration Diary of a Crylasm.

12 chapters (sitting at about 8.5k words) of one of my old Sweeney Todd fics that I’ve been considering rewriting and finishing are sitting in my documents right now, also.

about 120 words of an untitled, angsty as hell Qrow/Glynda drabble that I’m not sure I want to finish.

about 300 words of an untitled Doflamingo/Baby 5 fic where they forget almost their entire relationship after Sugar accidentally turns their baby into a toy. 

about 100 words of intro to an Attack on Titan fic that I only vaguely remember what the plot was supposed to be.

Nesting: Qrow/reader fic, sitting at about 150 words, awkwardness with reader finally being introduced to Yang and Ruby.

two stanzas of a Tyrian/Cinder poem.

about 120 words of a crack OP/SW crossover. Anakin Skywalker/Sir Crocodile pairing.

The Secret Dance of Snakes: about 120 words so far, will be a sequel to Treasured Chest.

about 50 words of unframed dialogue (banter/flirting) between Glynda and Qrow, that I have no idea what I’m going to do with

Shards of Emerald: about 25 words of a new drabble for the collection

Verdant Songbook: rough drafts of a second and third verse for “A Peaceful Evening in Spring” & a partial fourth or alternate third verse

3 lines of unframed dialogue for a Rukia/Renji fic

Toxic Farts Melt Stubborn Hearts: about 300 words of a crackfic where Sanji takes care of Nami when she has, uh... intestinal issues. (And Chopper can’t help because he’s unconscious from the stench.)

Look What the Scorpion Dragged In: about 100 words of a Tyrian/reader fic. Cinder has minions. Tyrian wants minions. Reader gonna get kidnapped/recruited.

Drench Their Sorrow in Flame: about 200 words of a Pyrrha lives & Cinder dies AU.

The Daughters of Monsters: just a mess of character notes for an after-nextgen HP AU (eternal stalemate between light and dark)

Hearts of Clouded Crystal: 9 OC/Moody drabbles from an unfinished collection for a challenge, which I took down from FFN. May repost at some point. Probably will never finish the collection.

[rainy-tree-bird]

Attack on Titan crackfic (OC’s)

This is a what I like to call a crackfic that me and two friends wrote. So its written by three diffrent people. This is about a few OC’s that are practically just us. There is an OC x Levi in this and OC x OC too. There is no description of the looks of the characters. This might become a series of just me and my friends writing these types of crackfics. This isnt a serious fanfiction, this is all fun and games. There are probably some grammer and spelling misstakes in here. 

Warnings: Mentions of cocain/drugs, cocain in croissants(I know it doesnt really make much sense, I did say this was a crackfic), mentions of death, loads of swearing, dark humor, some flirting, jokes. 

Enjoy!

--------

A day in AoT

Lily’s POV  

Sweat dribbles down the side of my forehead as I run my last lap around the scouts main HQ. “Fuck you Levi, forcing me to run when I hate running” I say under my breath as I reach the end, the rest of my squad already at the finish line. As I reach the end Petra comes up to me.  

“Great job Lily! You were really close to finishing at the same time as the most of us!  

By now my arms are leaning on my thighs as I’m catching my breath.  

“Thanks Petra, I’m happy that I’m getting better but running is still a bitch” Petra chuckles as she pats my back.

Training continues for hours on end thanks to Captain Levi and his awfully tiring training regime. Finally, we finish training for the day and me and my squad pack up any equipment we used during training.  

I’m packing up some equipment, once I turn around, I bump into Levi. He must’ve been standing behind me. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry!” I say. “Yeah, you should be, watch where you’re going, idiot.” He says with his usual scowl. “Damn, what’s with the bad mood today captain?” I reply with a small joking smirk. He deadpans. “Do you want a day off Williams? Or do you prefer cleaning the stables?” He threatens. “Right, I have rest of the day off! I’ll take that thanks.” I say as I start walking away but stop and glance over my shoulder to look at Levi. “Oh, and Levi? Next time you decide to stare at my ass, be a bit more discreet about it~¨” I say as I give him a wink. “Tch, I’ll have you know I was not, you damn brat” His reply sounded convincing, that is if he wasn’t slightly blushing. I giggle as I walk away.  

I head off to my dorm room to change into my uniform from my training clothes. After that I head off to the stables. As I’m preparing my horse for my ride to wall Sina I hear a voice. “What are you doing here brat?” I turn around to see Captain Levi looking at me, I turn back around and continue prepping my horse. “I’m heading off to Sina, I’m meeting up some old friends, is there a reason you wanted to know?” I asked as I glanced at him, he was closer to me this time. “I have to know what my squad is doing.” He replied, I chuckled.  

“That’s your excuse to meet up with me? Good one Levi” I smirked. He made a tch sound as a reply.  

I get on my horse. “Hey Levi, next time we have a free day how about you take me out on a date?” I look at him and wink. “Maybe I will.” He says as he looks me in my eyes with a smirk plastered on his face, causing me to blush. “I’ll hold you to that” I say as I start riding towards Wall Sina to meet my friends.  

Kei’s POV

“And then! Do you know what he said to me?!” “No, miss I don´t but can you please sit still? I need you to be still if you want the painting too look good”  

I’m sitting and painting the king's cousin and she likes to talk. Well, this is a part of the job, I guess.

Time skip 2h  

“Well miss, we are done for today” I’m saying as I start packing my stuff, “Oh, thank you, well I see you next week” “Yes Ma’am” she walks out from my store and I go to the back and clean myself up. Once I’m done, I walk out of my store and then walk towards the gate, to meet up with Lily34.

As I walk there, I see the military police and they're just looking at me as if I was an idiot. Well, I am but still! They don’t have the right to look at me.

“Hey!! You!!” one of them say and I turn around and look at him, “What the hell do you want!?” I look him in the eyes, and he hugs me, “What the hell!” “Oh…” he loosens his grip around me until he isn't hugging me anymore. “You probably don´t remember me, well I don’t blame you; we were like 10 or something when I moved…” I look at him and it was something that just looked familiar about him. “Tim what are you doing?!” The captain was calling for him “Oh I’m sorry captain, just talking to an old friend!” “Okay how is it…” the captain comes over to us and he looks at me. “Tim are you sure that you know her?” I cringe when he says her, “They, captain and you know that” I say as I give him a cold look.  

I look over to the Tim guy and that’s when it finally clicks. “TIM! It's really you!!” he looks at me and gives me a smile “Yeah,” “but what are you doing here?” “Well, I did join the military and I got transferred here, but what are you doing here? Didn’t you want to become a baker or something?” “well…” I look at the other military “I did join the military and yeah, but I spend most of my time painting rich people” “YOU ARE A SOLDIER?!” “Yeah...” “Well, I hate to break you two apart, but Tim needs to go” I look at the guy who was talking, I didn't know him. “Well fuck you and I don´t care, I would kick your ass if I didn´t have an important meeting to attend.”  

I give Tim a hug and then continue to walk to the gate, when I get there, I see Lily and I run to her.  

“Lily!!” I give her a big hug we both got so much closer since Veronica died… (well that was depressing, Agreed//Lily)  

“Kei!!” she hugs me back.  

We start walking to Ollie’s Café. We were talking about everything that had happened to us lately, and Lily told me all about this guy called Levi.

Ollie’s POV omg owo, are you sure? Owo that’s kinda pog Owo  what are yiu doing step croissant owO

I was baking a few more batches of my famous croissant recipe: plain but with optional twist, cocaine. Cocaine isn’t really that legal but since I got so much in my hands I might as well use it and make money by putting it on my croissants. I put the batch of Coke croissants into the oven as I take out an already finished batch, though these are not cocaine croissants, these are mini croissants, I put the fresh batch into a basket and make it look neat and nice, I want to impress my customers after all. I hear the little doorbell that is placed over the door ring, I check who came into the store from the shadows of the kitchen as I see it’s my best friends Kei and Lily who I haven’t met in a while, I sneakily grab to chocolate stuffed croissants and bash through the kitchen Doors and scream at the top of my lungs “CROISSANT” as I forcefully throws the two chocolate croissants at my friends hoping that they’re quick enough to catch them because I spent two hours this morning deep cleaning the eating area as well as the whole floor.

They sort of catch them by Lily grabbing hers too hard so the chocolate ooze out and Kei by catching it with their mouth. Very impressive not going to lie. I give Lily a napkin and place them both at a table and then take their order, I get their order ready as well as my own. I sit down at the table and give them their pastries and their drinks and talk with them about what we’ve been up too, occasionally I have to go and get another customers order but its a slow day so its okay.

Fin