#anywayz im still gonna say it

[loving-delusions]

it is rlly that surprising irl that someone u know in college doesnt have a partner....

like, im getting these reactions

"what?? u dont have someone like that??"

like?? no? why would i, it's not a damn requirement to graduate lmao

i mean im also aroace, but these people dont kno that... they just know im not one for dating

[laika-of-the-stars]

that scene with cyn/the solver and uzi at the very end where the solver/cyn is still a part of uzi.... so OSSDID/System coded fr fr.... im going insane abt it. im so autistical abt this

please please PLEASE send me asks abt this i am so eager to talk to ppl abt it

(rambles in tags)

[thevalleyoftriumph]

followerz who remember my old hollow knight roleswap au are entitled to compensation and an elderly discount 🙏

[etherealkissed88]

i got what i wanted in the 3d but why did i keep assuming negative?

today i found myself assuming that something negative (that ive experienced before) was going to happen again soon. but this was without any clear evidence that it would happen. there was subtle evidence but then i caught myself and realized that is was all an assumption and i thought “why am i even assuming negative if i know the power of the law?💀” so i decided it wouldnt end up that way and i let it go. hours later i saw clear evidence of the complete opposite of my negative assumption. this means that everything was going good like no negative shit was gonna happen and i still literally got physical evidence of what i wanted. at the same time, i felt uncertain and again assumed that negative thing was still gonna happen soon (even tho i saw evidence that it it wouldnt happen).

why did i feel uncertain even tho what i wanted appeared right in front of me? because in reality, i was chasing the feeling. i wasnt fulfilled, i wasnt satisfied within. this is what ppl mean when they say “its the feeling you want, you dont want it in the 3d”. sure you want the object and the physical experience but notice how the “real” and physical thing did not satisfy me at all. i literally manifested what i wanted yet i didnt feel like it would last. the 3d will never give you what you want. it will always be that inner fulfillment that gives you want you want. fulfillment is what gives you the satisfaction so if youre saying that you manifested something in the 3d and felt secure, thats because you were fulfilled. why did i also get what i wanted in the 3d yet i didnt feel secure? it will always come down to the fulfillment. that fulfillment is the FEELING! the feeling of knowing you have it despite seeing it in the 3d or not. this is also why the 3d never matters; its all neutral. bc everything IS based on assumptions and states. you see the world based on which state you are in. if im in the state of being broke, i will look at a $50 headphones as too expensive and i wouldnt feel secure in buying it. but if i was in the state of being a millionaire, i would look at a $50 headphones as if it was fifty cents and i would feel secure in even buying a more expensive one. its not about the 3d, its about if you feel fulfillment because either way if you have it in the 3d and still dont feel as if its not rly yours (fulfillment), then you will continue to assume negative and feel unsecured in your manifestation.

“as within so without” right? this is why when you are satisfied internally, you feel satisfied externally; it gets pushed out because self is always expressed in the 3d. someone who is not satisfied with being a millionaire within, can never feel good in the 3d until they fulfill themselves within (or change states where being a millionaire is normal for them). everything truly is the feeling and everything truly starts within.

back to assumptions: i continued to assume negative even with positive evidence in front of me because i wasnt giving myself the feeling. i didnt feel satisfied within. assumptions are accepting ideas without evidence. i clearly assumed correctly because i didnt have evidence that that negative thing was going to happen but i clearly was in a state of fear which is what caused me to continuously have that assumption. whatever state you are in affects your assumptions. lucky for me and you, we can change states and assumptions instantly. other than that, next time you find yourself assuming negative, stop yourself and just decide/assume it will all work out. change your state -> you are now the person who already has what they want.

anywayz, i realized all this in a span of 7 seconds after i got the physical thing i wanted but still assumed negative. i wanted to make this post because ppl could be doing the same thing and still feeling stuck and thinking that something is wrong with them when thats not the case. catch yourself and assume positive. make it a habit that whenever you want something, fulfill yourself right away. assume its done right away. update: i assumed and fulfilled myself with what i wanted and i no longer feel the need to assume the negative shit 😛. the power of fulfillment am i right ?

kisses, jani ☆

[fictional-lvr]

Autistic! BAU Reader HCs

Obv you and Spencer would be really close

The team doesn’t baby you, but they make sure to be aware of your support needs and upkeep them

Emily is the best person to go to when you’re non/semi-verbal

Em will say anything, and especially for someone else

Hotch is the best to go to when you’re overwhelmed or shutting down

Derek is the best to go to for meltdowns

Like when you’re overwhelmed and just need quiet and stillness you can go to Aaron and he’s so protective and he’s all “Alright, honey. There’s an empty confrence room over there, cmon.”

AND AND DEREK he would stop you from doing harmful stims and he would be so like firm but gentle like “Alright..alright sweetheart- nope don’t hit, no. Here, hot stuff, grab my hands..there you go hun you can squeeze my hands as hard as you need. Uh-uh don’t worry about being loud, I’ll explain it to everyone else later. There you go, sweets.”

Spencer is so great to go to when you’re understimulated, he’ll infodump to you and listen to your infodumps and stim with you and share his stim toys and and and he’s just so and i love him

Jj is so gentle and concious of your support needs :(( it’s like a sixth sense, she always knows when you need something and exactly what you need. She will engage in your interests and will watch and smile so big when you and Spencer just feed off of each other.

I think the team didn’t really know all that much about autism before you. From the moment you joined the BAU, you were very open about it. Spencer hadn’t explicitly told the team until you, and while everyone knew, they were all so glad he finally felt safe and seen enough to do so.

Hotch LOVES asking questions omg.

“L/N, is it possible for an autistic person to do the opposite of the usual diagnostic criteria? Like making too much eye contact?”

Will listen to your WHOLE schpeal about it before giving you a pat on the shoulder and going “Good work. I think we’ve learned a lot about this unsub from that.”

ugh they just they all love you so much and they appreciate you so much and

Penelope gets SO EXCITED when you choose her to infodump to, or even when you ask her for certain supports. She LOVES hearing about your interests and will get nearly as excited as you when you talk about them! 

You and Penelope trade stim toys all the time, and she’ll surprise you with new ones like once a week

I love them

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N; i love them so much ouch it hurts im gonna die

anywayz

like and reblog! :3

[c0smiccom3t]

Crash Team Racing if it was good (and made by Toys For Bob)

Praying to everything if TFB makes an original crash team racing game.... CORTEX BETTER WEAR THIS SUIT DURING RACES. PLEASE. WE (more like I) NEED MORE OF HIM BEING LIKE THIS.

also im still waiting for a crash show and crash 5 to be revealed because literally im gonna die can March come sooner I NEED A NEW CRASH TEAM RUMBLE COMIC OR ANIMATED SHORT

(also they could make this a skin in team rumble... just saying. he needs more skins.)

Anywayz have some live idiots reaction to this:

[cowcat-with-a-hat]

parappa the rapper characterz that i think they would do drugz :3 (thiz iz a joke btw)

joe chin and my proof iz: that he sold me drugz outside of the 711 last thursday nite and they weren't even drugz they were hiz branded "joe chin super drugz" AND THEY WERE PIXIE STIX still very tasty tho highly reccomend

prince fleaswallow my proof iz: he mentionz in hiz song that hez "on the run" 4 sumthing 4 what exactly im not sure but im gonna guess drug dealing i mean like he runz a flea market that soundz like a front 4 a drug ring also he lookz like sum1 who dressed themselvez while constantly stoned (trust me i would know) i just know he would smoke weed he soundz high out of hiz mind and also singz about how hez been working in the "flea market" since "hiz mama waz a baby" soundz like sumthing i'd write while high out of my mind oh and also while im on about hiz song

parappa: maybe not nesaserally DO drugz but he unknowingly sold drugz (allegedly) with prince fleaswallow 2 fix hiz dadz car altho mayb he would do weed idk XP

lammy my proof iz: thiz image (thx 2 lil mrs matter on discord 4 the proof XD)

5. guru ant my proof iz: thiz iz just a hc i have that he and fleaswallow smoke weed 2gether and he smokez 2 calm hiz nervez now iz there a good reason that i have thiz hc nah not really am i what the kidz would say "delu lu" no and who the fuck sayz "delu lu" anywayz thatz stupid tiktok kidz r stupid 6. cathy piller, ma san and randum onion lady who waz in stage 2 in the 2nd parappa game my proof iz thiz image:

7. pj berri my proof iz: ok now thiz iz another purely hc thing (actually thiz whole list iz XD) but hear me out the reason why that hez constantly eating and sleeping iz bcuz hez smoking that marijamige that mary jane that grass y'know weed makez people have the munchiez real bad and also makez u real sleepy so it makez total sense i don't c it being anyother way and if u disagree with me then letz go toe 2 toe by the slide @ the preskool i'll beet u up >:( 8. crash bandicoot my proof iz: ik ik that crash izn't TECHNICALLY a parappa character but shut up look @ this image

c look they have met thiz countz anywayz crash iz def 1 of those flordia man typez who run around on bath saltz screaming no further comment

9. colonel noodlez my proof iz: what fucking moron would try 2 make noodlez the only food on earth a moron on drugz thatz who basically the whole plot of ptr2 iz that he goez on a drug binge and thinkz that all other foodz r evil and tryz 2 make everything noodlez but then parappa helpz him sober up and he realizez hez a fucking idiot and thatz why kidz u shouldn't do drugz (or do them i don't give a shit im not ur dad)

feel free 2 leave ur hcz in the commentz below <333 (btw if u didn't read the title thiz post iz satire so don't take offense 2 thiz or sumthing idk)

[cronaz-diary]

Hey, coming from someone who used to be just like you, I REALLY suggest you take a step back from posting on the internet until you’re 18 at least. I acted a lot like you, worse in my earlier years, and the thought that my old posts and comments could still exist as screenshots or in archives makes me extremely nauseous. You might view your behaviour as justified now, but down the line you’re seriously going to regret it even if you continue to hold the same beliefs— ESPECIALLY since you have pictures of your face on here and post personal information. You probably won’t listen to me, I know my 16 year old self wouldn’t, so all I can do is wish you good luck.

To the adults in this kid’s inbox; you need to leave them alone. One kid’s opinion isn’t the end of the world, but the way they’re reacting to what you’re saying could end their’s.

hii im finally back from my tumblr break !! the last part PLZ THE ADULTZ HARASSING ME, A 16 YR OLD, IZ WEIRD ESP THE ONEZ THREATENING ME AND CALLING ME SLURZ also it caused me to split rlly badly and a suicide attempt so can u all plz stop:(( and yea i took a break from here bc ppl here dont know how to act, dont listen and were just bad for me and now im kinda scared of anything on here and other sitez im on but im staying here and tryna get over it bc the internet iz my only escape i have nothing irl rrlly sadly</3 and yea sum old shit (mainly the stuff i made while splitting or any other bad shit like that) i feel embarrassed abt and more bc ppl wont leave me alone abt it like plz just let me forget half the thingz i do or say while im going through episodez or anything i dont actually mean

i try rlly hard not to post personal info and gonna try harder idk wut iz too much or not so if i post sumthing thatz too over sharing plz tell me and ill take it down !! only thingz (i think) i rlly share iz my outfitz/fashion, other social mediaz and who i am ig (. > .)

im gonna stay here and on the internet but def will take more breakz tho esp bc stuff iz kinda hard rn and i hadnt been doing the best even before getting harassed bc ppl misunderstood wut i said and cant handle not creating stupid ass drama cuz yea i still feel we shouldnt let men in a sexuality that waz made to not include men coming from a lesbian and from many many other lesbianz i hear say thiz even non lesbianz:/

anywayz hiii ill be posting more and thiz will be my last post abt thiz stupid drama thing (for now i think) cuz i wanna post abt other stuff i made thiz to talk abt shit going on (without too much detail), be myself and so ppl can see my outfitz

[candydollita]

what was the lolicon drama about? I'm just nosy lol

i hope tis doesnt cause drama lol

basically got into trouble twice on tumblr bc of tis

1 time it was me being stupid, i take some blame for sure ... lik some person i followed was talking abt it n i went on their ask box n spouted bc im impulsive n passionate abt tis topic hmm i dnt recommend ... anywayz ive moved on, i only did tis twice during my whole life n once was wen i was like 16 or smth n 1st found out abt "antis". i was confused to say the least since such thoughts never occurred to me n i spent 3 days barely sleeping researching evrything i cud on tis topic n psychology related to it lmao !! n the other time was that 1 on tumblr

fuk discourse n fuk trying to enage w ppl who r clearly not interested in seeing anything but their already made opinion, i understand now clearly its useless n a total waste of time

other time some mutual frm here found my twitter n i hav my figure wishlist on there (mostly lolis) anywayz they attacked me on twitter lol n made a post on here

thats it~ bet some of my followers who read tis gonna block me but ion care tbh its better to block than do what i did w that tumblr user n go on their inbox w my spouting :\ lesson learned

im still open abt who i am as a person, my thoughts, opinions, beliefs etc. on my own profiles if i feel lik it anywayz but im jus never evr engaging in discourse again

[damifrfrx-x]

ok lookiezz er i just wanna say something because yeah i feel like i have to with and without getting my sister to screenshot everything i wrote but ok so TW ig

(i wont finish this lmao)

anywayz. so honestly, idc if you dont know what i mean im just gonna write all this but honestly, ever since i left the hellpark server, i've been getting more stressed out and more worried about everyone that is in the hellpark server even though im still able to talk to some people that are in the hellpark server but i still “waste” my time worrying them anyway and i feel like i should join the server again, i of course always had a fun time in the hellpark server and ever since i joined the server, i felt like i was in an actual family because everyone treated me like i was finally something important and made me feel like i AM something important and whenever i talked to any one of them, i immediately feel safer and safer and the hellpark server became my safe space because of Gregory, Star, Jasper, Moxi, Vivi, literally, almost everyone made me feel safer (tbh no offense or smth but Gregory was the one who made me feel the most safe) until i started getting even stressed out and traumatized because of hellpark, different fandoms make me feel worse so sorry if im just being a dramatic bitch but yeah, ever since i've been traumatized, i started self-harming and shit and i honestly i hate whenever i just feel shitty, so i started asking myself: should i join the hellpark server again so i can feel safe again? i'd still be a little traumatized, but i'd also slowly start feeling more comfortable and safer like before, so ig i can join the hellpark server again and see if im gonna be safer again, sorry for the fucking vent god fucking damnit im so useless rn

[eumivrse]

JUST CO-WORKERS : aki hayakawa

warning(s) public sex ? idk, but it’s balcony sex at reader and aki’s apartment lol. fwb, unprotected sex, creampie, slight spanking

word count 1,537

author’s note honestly didn’t wanna post another drabble but this has been on my drafts for months now n im having a little aki phase anywayz so hii

aki smoking that pack while giving you backshots, the morning news playing in the background, sun slowly rising across the horizons.

the air felt cool and groggy, the city still awake with lights from the long night, yet no one was outside to see your tits bouncing against the metal bar of the terrace that’s preventing you from falling over 9 stories down.

aki groaned in frustration, a cloud of smoke slipping out his nose and lips as he finally pressed the butt of his cig on the ashtray next to you , “baby, stop moving around so much, would ya?” he was literally asking the impossible judging by the way your body jolts with each thrust.

you mewl, face down to watch as some of the residents from your apartment complex exit the building and vouch for a taxi. “fuck, fuck— aki…” the molten stench of the cig was making you dizzy, enough that you were forgetting that people can hear you.

it’s definitely not the best type of noise to hear first thing in the morning for your neighbor’s sake, but you and aki have been up all night for work and are unable to fall asleep due to the adrenaline rush from killing devils so what better way to cure that than to just fuck like animals for a good night’s— or morning���s rest?

aki hunches over your shoulder, one hand squeezing your tummy while the other tilts your jaw back to meet his eyes. “ ‘m gonna need you to quiet down, alright? i want to be the only one who can hear you.” he leans in for a kiss, one that was full of lust, all wet and messy.

it’s complicated with aki, really. he doesn’t want to be in a relationship but would constantly get your hopes up whenever he’d probe you into these types of situations. the first time was when you came home after a dinner with other co-workers and a drunken kiss led to a hook up. something like this should’ve been expected as soon as you both were assigned to live in the same apartment, you just didn’t expect to like him as much as you do right now.

his cock was stretching you open, clit starting to feel cold from being deprived of touch. your cunt was so fucking wet, the sound of your slick slapping against his balls tickling aki’s ears. his hands were firm on your waist, adam’s apple prominent from his perspired neck.

the base of your ass slammed against his abdomen as you throw it back on him, his abs gleaming from the sheen of sweat and the sunlight peeking past the cracks of the buildings in front of you.

your knees were starting to give out, arms hooked around the railings of the terrace. “aki- i want you, please. please make me cum.” desperation lingered in your voice, it was comical honestly.

“hm? don’t you say the same thing when you’re with other men?”

you mewl when his tip plunged onto your g-spot. “wh-what other men?”

he scoffs, palm striking the skin of your ass and forcing a yelp out of you. “you don’t think i know? all those nights you’d invite some random loser from the bar and i have to listen to you fake your orgasm? i gotta say,” he slaps you again and grabs a chunk of your ass to grip on. “you’re a pretty good actress. but i know you, sweetheart. and i know how fucking beautiful you really sound when you cum.” he chuckles in between pants.

“why do you care so much anyways?” you yelp and aki rocks his hips vigorously, your hole starting to seep with arousal, dripping down your thighs and the curve of your ass marred with the print of his palm.

aki isn’t a chatty person at all, but you’ve been around him long enough to know that if he’s rambling like this, he’s pissed. under those nasty words of praise, his cock is bullying your insides and is risking you of getting a noise complaint.

he isn’t wrong though, you go around sleeping with other men on purpose to make him seethe in jealousy— to make him realize how much you mean to him. you intentionally exaggerate your moans for him to hear on the other side of the wall and he’s taking out the envy on you right now.

his clammy palms bruised the plump of your waist, his breathing heavy and teeth digging on his bottom lip. “because…” he punctures the same spot over and over again at an intermittent pace in between his words. “you deserve more than that.”

you grit your teeth, fists clenched while you whimpered. aki pulls out and wraps his palm around his fat cock, resting it in between your ass while jerking himself off.

he grunts, slapping his tip against the base of your back and taunting you. “so you want me to beg? is that it?” you groan.

“sure. not with that attitude though.” you couldn’t see him, but you bet he probably has that shit-eating grin plastered on his face right now.

it’s a change of pace from his usual stoic attitude.

he sneaks his hand in between your legs and teases your clit, the flat of his finger flicking you. “aki- don’t do this, shittttt…” you were starting to feel your stomach contract, sweat trickling from your forehead down your nose. the heat of the sun was starting to cower the dewy air, you turned your head, mouth quivering from the immense stimulation.

“please aki? i’ll be good to you. i’ll be a good girl for you…” it was so unnatural for you to pout as you are right now, bottom lip sticking out as you plead to him.

aki laughs, moaning while he fucks into his fist before poking his tip back in between your folds. “ ‘wasn’t that hard now, was it? ‘knew you had it in you.” he takes one of your arms and pins it on your back, a ball of his spit plopping down his cock before he snaps his hips against your ass.

his cock stretched your tight hole deliciously, thighs jiggling with each thrust. the tv’s noise and your moans was now swallowed by the honking and the engines of cars downstairs, you can practically see the whole road with your tits smashed against the railings. your arm is sore from being held behind you, slick running down your inner thigh.

“aki, fuck, cum with me, ah fuckkkkk” you curse out loud, your breathing jagged and sharp.

he stutters, grunting as he lets go of your arms and bruises your waist with his calloused hands. “w-where?”

“inside, baby. hah- ‘want you to make me yours.” he frantically slipped himself inside of you once more before fucking you full of cum mixed with your own, pulling his cock out with a pop! sound as translucent white cum dripped down your clenching pussy.

“fuck,” aki gasps and you turn around, seeing his face drenched with strands of his raven hair sticking to his forehead. he massaged your breasts, your palms cupping his cheeks and pulling him in for a longing kiss as you walk back into your shared apartment.

you hadn’t realized he was leading you to his room and onto his bed, you were too lost in his familiar lips that tasted of spearmint and cigarettes. you pulled from each other, your thumb pressing on his bottom lip.

you never slept in the same bed even after sex. it’s as if it was an unspoken rule— a boundary you should never cross.

however, this time felt different. aki got you to lay on his mattress and covered you with his fluffy comforter, the buzzing of the ac easing your sore body.

he settled next to you after putting his boxers back on, back against the headboard. “you’re free tomorrow, yes?” he asks, opening up a bottle of water from his nightstand and chugging on it before passing it to you.

“yeah duh, we’re in the same division.” you take a sip from the plastic bottle. probably not the best idea to share a drink with a chronic smoker, but you stopped caring.

aki always hated having to express his feelings especially after the tragedies that had occurred in his life. you were the only one that didn’t pity him when you found out about his past and that gave him a sense of hope.

maybe he’s not cut out for this and more so that you’re supposed to have a wall of professionalism in between you two, but to hell with all that. “let’s go on a date tomorrow.” he sighs.

“as…?” you slumped your head on his shoulder.

“as a couple, duh.” he places his nose on the top of your head, getting a whiff of your coconut shampoo.

“awh, is this your first time asking someone out?” you scoff.

“don’t make me take it back.”

“okay, okay! fine, i’ll go out with you tomorrow.” you’re being nonchalant, but nothing can express the amount of happiness bubbling up inside of you.

he hooks his arm around your shoulder and pushes you closer to him. “this means we’re dating now, right?” you whisper, pecking his jaw lightly.

“yes, babe.”

[lahotelbellamuerte]

𝗧𝗜𝗠𝗘 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗩𝗘𝗟 & 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗖𝗘 - episode 05. number five & eight

series masterlist! current: number five & eight ! next: vanilla milkshake

paring: five x eight (oc)  warnings; suggestive language, suggestive sexy time, the handler being weird asf not proofread ! word count: 8.3k  notes; not gonna lie i shipped the handler and five IF he had been older. anywayz this book was pretty vanilla with the sexy time, second book i think had like one scene not detailed either tho, idk, iM BAD AT WRITING SMUT

ASH still floated through the sky. Raining the painful reality that earth is no longer the same, but rather engulfed in flames. Five walked alone with a cart in hand, a bundled-up mannequin to join him as he walked up a long trail of cement. The cracked surfaces made his cart creak and tumble. Eight had left for the early years of the apocalypse, the two had gotten into a fight, and she took her belongings and left for good. Living her life in hell alone, just as Five did. 

There was no denying that Eight didn't miss her ex-boyfriend during those years, but with the isolation, she was able to find herself adjusting to these new times. She was able to fend for herself, from many things that the world threw at her. Along with the time, she saw earth begin to take back what was hers. Plants, roots, bushes, and seasons began to return. It was like the human race had never graced the earth. Something so beautiful about seeing new life start once more. 

As the blonde roamed the empty streets and plains, no longer a child but teenagers with a responsibility to stay alive. It was a lucky day for nineteen-year-old Eight when she found a working motorcycle. She was able to fix it up enough to where she gathered her stuff and rode off to find her old partner. It wasn't longer than a week that it took her to find him. Being as he was the only other human that lived on what was once earth. She hoped to rekindle their relationship. 

Five had been lying on the ground, their hands holding the sniper close to him, in case of any danger. That was until he heard a distant growling noise. It didn't sound like any animal to him, but rather a machine. But what machine could be running during these times. Quickly he jumped to his feet and had his hands on the trigger.

"Shh," Five signed to the mannequin who was against the wall, who obviously wasn't going to say anything—I mean—

The growling halted, and footsteps coming closer could be heard. Crunching underneath booths was an easy sound to call. He wanted to see what walked, but who else would be on this earth, who survived? Five moved closer to the shadows of the broken building. Gun steady in his hands, as a finger was floating before the trigger. 

A figure walked past the doorway, it was obvious that it was a woman, by the way, her clothes fit her body. The long coat hugged tightly against her waist as a similar gun was strapped onto her back. Five was quick to get up and swing his gun at her, but she disappeared through a portal quick enough and tripped him from behind with a lasso.

Five groaned and turned to his back and looked at the woman who had removed her face covering, "Eight?" Five gasped in disbelief, her face as youthful as he remembered it. 

"Five?" she gasped, her hands making the glowing lasso disappear at the sight of her old lover. 

The young man quickly dropped his gun and stood up, pulling the familiar blue-eyed girl into a tight hug. One so tight that he was afraid that if he pulled away she wouldn't be there. 

His hands gripped at the blonde tresses in the hug, and tears brimmed in his eyes as he could smell her scent once more, "I missed you," Five whispered into her neck, as he tightly held onto her as if she'd leave again.

Eight let out a sad laugh "I missed you too," Eight replied, equally hugging the boy tightly around his torso. 

"Don't leave me again please, Delores gave me so much shit when I let you go," He chuckled as he kissed the side of her head 

"I won't, I promise," She replied, pulling away to look at his face. 

The two just stared at each other for the longest ot saying anything, but at the same time saying everything. The boy couldn't take it anymore, so he leaned in and smashed his lips onto hers. Grabbing her face as they moved in sync after years of being apart. Words didn't have to be spoken as actions were used rather. He had missed everything about her; long blonde hair, soft skin, plump lips, and her perfect shiny eyes. 

Five pushed her into the wall, not really caring much about their location, or that Delores could see everything. Biting her lip caused Eight to gasp in surprise, using it to his advantage he slipped his tongue into her mouth. The kiss was warm, needy, and urgent. The couple wanted to show how much they missed the time apart. Five was holding her tight, his move rushed and quick. As if one of them would disappear at any moment. Slowly Five's mouth moved down to her neck, as she let out ragged breaths. 

His lips left wet kisses on her neck, all encouraged by the pretty noises the woman let out. Whining and desperate squeezing on his upper arms. Softly he taps the back of her thighs signaling her to jump, and without hesitation, she wrapped her legs around his hips. Quickly moving back to their heated kiss, walking they over to a dusty couch at the corner of the room. He lays her carefully on it, his eyes moving to meet his. Both dark and desperate. 

The boy tried to steady his breath as he looked down at the girl below him, he wanted nothing more than to rip her clothes off her body. But he wanted to make sure this is what she wanted, not feeling forced into something. He sat on his calves looking down at Eight, his hand resting on her hip, thumb rubbing circles on it. "Are you sure you want this?" Five asked placing a hand next to her head, as he leaned over her face, placing a chaste his on it. 

Eight nodded, reaching up to grab his face with a soft smile, "I didn't travel miles to come to you just to leave again," She replied leaning up to plant a kiss on the corner of his lips. Then letting her lips brush his softy, "I want this," she confirmed leaning up to kiss him fully this time. 

While the two were in agreement about what would happen, Dolores, the Mannequin was not. The poor intimate object was forced to watch the events that accrued in the ruins. Watched as Five's hands carefully removed Eight's clothes, treating her as fine china. His cold fingers brushed against her soft skin, leaving kisses behind. Eight's nimble fingers removed his clothes as her hands trailed patterns all over his skin. Under the flickering light of a warm fire near them, both were equally entranced in each other's embrace. The poor mannequin had to listen to the moans, ragged breaths, whines, and skin slapping skin. All echoing in the lonely building. Two souls rejoined once more. 

After that night the couple promised to stay together no matter the situation. All the starvation and hardships they faced together, surviving each and every one. For the following years, the duo spent them together. The highs and lows of living in the world of nothing. The tears and laughter that were shed over the years. The moments of bliss and many more.

One of the best memories that Five would always remember was when he proposed to his darling lady. It's not like there would be another person he could be with until the end of time. He liked to believe that if anyone else was stuck with him, they wouldn't mean as much as Eight did to him. The now older man grown and aged, had been out looking for any life. He never looked forward to it, since he always returned home in disappointment. Yet this trip turned out differently for him. 

Dirt and rubble crunched beneath his boots are he walked. Bag and gun strapped onto his back, just in case. Eyebrows furrowed his eyes trailed the growing greens on the floor. Eight had been right about the beauty in the destruction. Somehow out of all the fire and heat, the world slowly started coming back in a way. The animals that did survive now have all the land to live in. 

Poking around different rubble, he was walking when a glint hit his eye. He stopped walking and tried to find the glint once more. Moving his head around until his eyes spotted the shining small object. Walking closer, he reached down and grabbed the small object. Blowing the dirt on his palm he chuckled at the sight. Out of anything he could have found in the wasteland it was this. 

The man whistled at the sigh, "Well look what we got here," he spoke softly, his eyes trained on the gold band with a diamond perched on top. While it wasn't anything that would help in the long run, it was sure to be significant. Smiling he pocketed the item and continued on his journey to find anything else. The skies were clear blue, with a light breeze that made it perfect for walking. 

A few hours later, the man headed back with a few things in his bag. A smile was still on his face after the small find. As he neared the house he heard his name be called, turning around he saw his girlfriend running towards him

"Five! Guess what!" Eight's voice ran behind him as he reached their home before she had. Her gun was also strapped to her back as she got closer. 

"What?" he asked with a smile seeing how happy his lady looked. Never denying that emotion in their situation. 

Eight blushed as she had her hands behind her back, "Well, I know this isn't traditional, but I mean we're living at the end of times," she rambled but shook her head before she could get any further, "Will you marry me?" She asked him as she had found a plain gold band while searching for food. Oh, how coincidental. The lovers found a piece for one another. 

Five couldn't help but laugh, reaching into his pocket and taking out his finding, "Not if you don't marry me," he said now going onto one knee, resulting in the blonde gasping and covering her mouth in glee. 

Eight Hargreeves was never materialistic. Didn't like large flashy things, but small stupid stuff her siblings gave her, meant more than gold. Now having Five on his knee with a literal priceless piece of jewelry she couldn't help but tear up. The woman nodded in glee, "There's no one else I'd rather marry at the End of the World," she said handing him her left hand. 

Five smiled and slipped on the ring, getting up from the ground, Getting up he looked down as she slipped the other ring, onto his finger, "Till death do us apart," said Eight, gripping his hand.

"Till death do us apart," Five confirmed gripping her face and kissing his now-wife. Their wedding was only the two of them just as they would be now forever. 

As time moved on for the married couple, they argued as couples do. They hunted, drank, and spiraled into a belief that they could return home. In a crumbling library where some books were able to make it alive, the duo scribbled all along the walls. Possible equations to get them home. 

One fateful day the two were sitting around as they drank wine from surprisedly well-kept metal cups, the two now elderly, with grays mostly displaying on their heads. Skin is no longer supple and soft, but worn and used. 

The silver-covered man chuckled as he drank from his cup, his gloved hand holding it tight, "Love, do you remember that one mansion we went to a couple of years back? You know where we—"

"—Yeah I wouldn't mention those few hours around Dolores. We left her alone," Eight interrupted before he started explaining what happened down in the wine cellars of the mansion. Not caring one bit about the mannequin near hearing all the lewd things the two happened to experience in their younger years. 

Five scoffed, "Well I could talk about it. Delores, you talked shit about me those years while she was gone," He said pointing at the mannequin, "I will freely talk about how I fucked my wife for hours and left you alone!" He exclaimed happily.

Eight facepalmed, and looked over at Dolores, "I'm sorry D," She said blushing, embarrassed that her husband was now a grouchy old man—no different from his young years. 

"Well, I'm—"

Before he could finish the crumbling of rubble could be heard, as if someone was approaching. Five and Eight stood from their seats and pointed their guns at the incoming target. While they were older the two had enough experience in their older age to kill someone. 

The two glanced at each other wearily when they saw the sight. A woman with bright white hair, clad in a long leather coat. Holding a briefcase of sorts, looking not even mildly intimidated by the two holding the guns. Something out of the ordinary, which to them wasn't surprising. For crying out loud, they had extraordinary skills that no one else on earth had. 

Who she was? The Handler, the woman who would become Eight's worst nightmare, but also the key to their very survival. 

The morning had arrived at Diego's place and Five woke up to be pressed against Eight's back. The blonde just lay there silently, waiting for him to wake up. It's not like she had a choice that is, Five happen to have a tight grip around her waist while he slept. As soon as he let go, Eight sighed happily and sat up. Five moved around her and sat down next to her.

"Morning' love," Five mumbled softly rubbing his eyes, trying to wake himself up.

The girl just rolled her eyes, "Yeah, mornin'," Eight replied as she watched Luther snore on the chair near them. Using her powers, Eight lifted a pen on one of Diego's desks and flung it at the sleeping giant. Causing him to wake up with a startle, his eyes, and hands alert to fight the intruder.

"Oh good you're awake," Luther said blinking slowly his eyes focusing on the blonde in front of him, "When is it happening?" He then asked seriously remembering why he stayed with the couple. 

"We can't give you the exact hour but..." Five trailed off.

"We've got about four days left," Eight finished off running her hand through her hair, realizing she must have lost her headband last night, during her whole drunken debacle. 

The man leaned forward, "Why didn't you say something sooner?" Luther said worriedly.

"It wouldn't have mattered," Five replied sadly. Eight noticed his sadness and gripped his hand softly.

"Of course, it would've banded together and helped you try to stop this thing," Luther countered.

Five sighed, "You already tried," he said flatly, this memory wasn't a kind one for him. After all, it had been the first sight the two had encountered when they had made it into the future. 

"What do you mean?" Luther asked suddenly.

"The first time around, we found you, your bodies," Eight explained her throat feeling tight.

"We die?" Luther swallowed thickly.

"Horribly," Five answered.

A flat silence filled the air, as they all looked at each other. Nothing could be said that would make it right. Not even Luther's optimistic view on life could make the older couple feel any better. The sight of the Hargreeves all sprawled out on the ground was bad enough. All looking above with dead eyes and nothing more. The familiar feeling of anguish washed over the air.

"You were together trying to stop whoever it was that ends the world," Five said looking down at his intertwined hands with Eight, squeezing it back in comfort, the only thing that kept him sane all these years. 

Luther looked over at the two, "How did you know that?"

Five searched into his pocket, and pulled out the familiar prosthetic eyeball, "This was clutched in your dead hand when I found you."

"Must have ripped out of their head right before you went down," Eight said as he looked over the eye that Five tossed at him.

"Who's head?" Luther asked looking at the blonde, in hopes of getting an answer, then back to the eye in hand. 

She shrugged, "We don't know," a frown forming lightly on her face. 

"Well there's a serial number on the back," Luther offered, ideas popping in his head, in hopes of helping the two stop the end of the world. 

"No, that's a dead-end," Five said, towards Luther, "Just another hunk of glass."

Eight stood up letting Five's hand go and took the piece of the eyeball and held it. Before any more could be said the door slammed open and a very angry Diego strolled in. His eyes looked straight at the blonde in fury, why didn't she do anything? 

"Piece of shit," He mumbled going down the stairs, "Do you have any idea what you just did?"

He said walking straight towards them, but Luther stepped forward grabbing him. "Get your ape hands off me!" He hissed towards Luther. 

Eight stuffed her hands in her skirt pockets, "Let him go, Luther," she said calmly trying to diffuse whatever was starting. She loved herself a fight, especially since she could see it was directed towards her. 

"Yeah let me go!" Diego replied as he struggled to get out of the large man's hold, eyes still trained on the blonde, he wanted nothing more than to dig his knife into her body. That's new...

Luther looked at the blonde in question, and she nodded. And quickly he continued to stroll towards Eight, but before he could, he ran into some invisible force. The man looked around it, slapped his hands on it, and punched it. It was no use, of course, Eight wouldn't let herself be touched by the man. 

Diego let out a strangled yell, as he punched the invisible force that stood between them, "Let the through you freak bitch!" He yelled hysterically. This time caught the attention of Five. 

The man stepped forward but stopped when Eight's hand went up to stop him. Cocking her head, she smirked, "My prediction was right," she said her eyes on his teary ones. 

"Oh you've been busy, haven't you? Griddy's, Gimbel Brothers, and the academy. All looking for you," He hissed punching the invisible wall one more time, yet it still did nothing to reach her. 

The blonde shrugged, "Not my fault Diego, Patch was in the way," she said dropping her shield without him noticing. 

Luther had a brow raised on who Patch was, but he didn't really care, "Who are they?" He asked instead, wanting to know who was sent after the couple. 

Eight sighed, putting her hands in her pockets, "They work for our former employer, A woman we called the Handler. She sent them looking for us, and Patch was in their way, fair game," she said once again looking to Diego. Sure she felt bad for the woman who had died, but nothing would stop the two assassins after her or Five.

His eyes darkened at the sound of her words, "Well now they're my fair game," Diego said looking straight at Eight, "And I'm gonna see that they pay."

"Diego I wouldn't if I were you, they've killed people much more dangerous than you," Eight called out as the man turned to leave the room they were staying in. 

Continuing to walk away he never turned around, "Yeah, well we'll see about that."

The blonde then looked at Five, "You know I can't let him die," she told him, with a frown. 

Five sighed and nodded. He knew the whole Hazel and Cha-Cha stories, was never a fan, but they were good at what they do. And if anyone could survive them, it was his wife, "Give 'em hell, kid," he mumbled pulling to kiss her temple. And in a second she was gone. 

She jumped into a portal and landed in the passenger seat of Diego's car. She turned to see tears running down his face, "Oh, darling, come here," she whispered, pulling him into a hug as he hugged her back tightly. While he had said some things to her, he was glad it was her that was there. Eight Hargreeves had that effect on people, being there when they most needed it. 

She softly ran her hand through his hair as his body raked sobs, "I'm sorry Diego," She whispered, pulling away from the hug and gripping his face.

"I really liked her," Diego whispered not meeting the blue eyes in front of her. Patch had got him out of countless of shit, after they had separated he still yearned after the law enforcement woman. He never got to tell her that he loved her. Now she was gone, no longer breathing. 

"I know," She said knowing he wouldn't be able to drive. Carefully she let out a deep breath, "Hold on," she said, her hands beginning to glow slightly. 

Diego's eyes widened, "What—"

Before anything more could be said Eight had created a portal beneath the car that landed in their parking spot. The car bounces as she sees the mansion. The teen grinned at the sight. 

"Nice I still got it," She quipped and got out of the car, "You comin'?" Eight added as she looked down to see a frightened Diego. 

Diego stumbled out, wiping his tears, not wanting any sign of his moment of weakness, "God I hated that," he said shivering at the feeling of falling, memories triggering back to their training days. 

"Alright you baby, just get what you need and I'll help you," Eight said walking into the home.

"Wait you're coming? What about Five?" Diego asked as he followed her into the home, shocked that she would follow him rather than her boy thing. 

"He's capable of protecting himself, he did it for six years," She said scoffing while walking to Diego's room where she knew he had many more knives hidden. They hadn't been friends for most of their childhood so of course, she knew everything about the boy.

Of course, she knew about the crush he had when she was younger. As a mind reader, nothing got past her. Diego was everything she'd want in a partner, but in this universe, they weren't meant to be. And that was a given—she was a married woman now. Even if Diego would forever have a soft spot for Eight, he knew his boundaries—sometimes. He wouldn't deny that since she got back, he hasn't flirted with the blonde. So part of his fantasy was coming to reality as the tall blonde stood in his room.

Not paying much attention to the girl in the room, he slowly slid out a grey case with the umbrella insignia. Carefully he placed his knives in the case and clasped it shut. Getting up he grabbed the handle, and looked at Eight, "Let's go."

She nodded and moved out of the way and follow after him, but he shook his head. What he was about to do was cross boundaries, but he didn't care. He grabbed onto her hand and pulled her with him. All she could do was look at their hands and frown. The two began walking further down the stairs. Eight didn't really know what to say about the whole situation. She liked Diego, but not the way his thoughts bubbled.

Worse part his lover had literally died, and he was still chasing after someone who was both older and younger than him. But with respect to his recent loss, she kept her mouth shut. As the two arrived on the main floor, they saw Klaus standing staring at the chandelier that had fallen on the ground.

"You look like shit," Diego pointed out as he stared at his brother. 

Eight furrowed her eyebrows and let go of Diego's hand. Carefully she walked over to Klaus smiling softly, she pulled him in a hug. The Séance didn't hesitate to pull the blonde closer. He knew that maybe she understood his pain better than her husband could. After all the blonde was his comfort person. 

"Where are you going?" he said to her, still embraced in the hug, not wanting to let go. Something about it felt almost like a mother clinging onto their hurt child. 

"Nope—" Diego began but was silenced with the raise of Eight's hand. 

"I know you wouldn't take no for an answer, just get yourself together," She mumbled into his shoulder. 

The man nodded, "Two minutes," he said softly, and then walked off to get his things. 

The blonde sighed, she definitely knew something was up. Klaus was never to be the quiet one, even when the memories of their father plagued his mind, they would never get him like he is now. She watched him as he left and scratched himself and sauntered off.

She furrowed her brows at this. Familiar. Those were some of the symptoms of time travel. That's when it hit her, Klaus was the one that was kidnapped by Hazel and Cha-Cha. In return, he took the case and got stuck somewhere else in time. 

Diego grabbed her hand, snapping her out of her trance. She looked over at him and motioned for the car. She nodded and followed him outside and waited for Klaus.

The three were now in the car as Diego drove, but Eight couldn't help but know something was wrong. Something about instincts if you want to name it. 

"Klaus, darling, are you alright?" she asked, turning to the back seat where he leaned on the window as he drank from a bottle rather than answer her. 

Diego raised an eyebrow, and glanced at him through the rearview mirror, "Wow. This is a first. My brother Klaus is silent. The last time you were this quiet, we were twelve. Ran down the stairs wearing Grace's heels, tripped over, and broke your jaw." He said looking at Eight's amused face. "How long was it again?" 

Klaus didn't move from his spot, but with a small voice he responded, "Eight weeks."

"Eight glorious weeks of bliss," he mentioned, but quickly Eight smacked his arm, "Ow!" 

Diego gave her a look but the blonde only glared at him. Not knowing the seriousness of the situation, most of the time he never did. 

Klaus finally sat up blinking harshly, "Hey, just drop me off here," he said as they parked harshly into some place called Lake Shore. Quickly Klaus stepped out of the car and stumbled over to the building. All in rushed movements to make it through the glass doors. 

Eight removed her seatbelt and placed her hand on the door handle, "Hey where are you going? I thought you were going to help me?" Diego said gripping her arm.

The blonde turned over to him and removed his hand, "And I'm going to make sure my brother who is definitely not okay, make sure he doesn't get harmed. 

And I am after I make sure my brother who is not okay, doesn't get harmed," she said and stepped out of the car. 

As she neared the door in large white letters it read, "Welcome to Veterans of Foreign Wars." The blonde sighed, "Oh Klaus where did you go," She whispered and opened the door which opened with a ring. 

Walking into the building, Eight then realized it was a bar for veterans. She frowned sadly. Eight had her horrors of the past that she always falls into, and she would never want to share those types of pains with anyone. But here she was entering the bar watching her brother look at a picture, as he relived the horrors of war. 

Her eyes flickered to movement caused in a room, and it was to a large man with grey hair. He was making his way towards Klaus who was looking sadly at the picture hung up on the wall. He lost someone she concluded. If she wanted she would have looked into his mind to see what had happened, but for the privacy of his loss, she refused to. Eight would let him explain it himself if it ever came to that.

Eight decided it was time to confront him and moved towards him before the large man could. Carefully she placed her hand on his shoulder and he turned to look at her and sighed.

"Please go away," He whispered then looked back at the photo, his eyes trained not on himself but on a young man beside him. 

Her eyes traveled to the photo of the many men there, "No, you're my brother, and I'm here for you," she said squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. 

"Hey you two," a deep voice came from behind her. 

The two siblings turned around to look at the large man. Eight raised a brow at the older man sporting a vest with probably the war he served at, she just looked him over with a scoff. 

"This bar? It's for vets only," He informed the two softly, hoping not to start anything. 

"I am a vet," Klaus replied sadly his eyes turning back to the picture behind him. 

The large man chuckled, "Really? Where'd you serve?" he asked, obviously not believing the Seance next to her. 

Klaus wasn't in the mood to answer anyone's questions, he had just gone through hell and back, "None of your business," Klaus replied not wanting to talk about it.

"You got balls comin' in here, pretendin' you're one of us," He said not knowing the situation at hand. And if we're being honest, Eight didn't like when others picked on her brother. 

"Oh, I have every right to be here, just like you, asshole," Klaus said, his voice raising his last word. Finally turning around to meet the eyes of the old man. 

The large man went to step closer, but that's when Eight stepped in, "Hey, there now, we don't want problems," she said calmly, "You don't know the situation here, so I would appreciate it if you let me take care of him." 

"Sure thing," The man said pausing and looking at Klaus, "As long he apologies," he finished causing Eight's eye to twitch and Klaus to giggle. 

"Look I'm sorry, he's sorry, we'll just be on our way now," she said looking at her brother, forcing the words out of her own mouth, hating this man trying to embarrass them. 

The man shook and said, "No, I want to hear him say it," he smirked. 

This crossed the line for her, she didn't fucking care anymore that he was some veteran. He was an ass of a veteran. Her brother was a veteran and if he didn't believe him, that was on him. Also, she was already pissed as it is with the whole end-of-the-world thing. 

Eight lunged forward and grabbed his collar, "Listen here you, idiot. You do not get to ask for any more apologies. You don't know what shit my brother has gone through and I won't let anyone walk all over me or him," she hissed as his face was close to hers and shoved him away. 

In anger, the man swung forward but his fist met a gloved hand, "You don't go hitting ladies," Diego's voice said as he punched the old man. 

Klaus had jumped into the fight and jumped onto the veteran's back. Just as Eight had grabbed a flying fist at her face and grabbed his wrist and twisted it around to turn his body. Still, in the lock, she kicked the man and let him fall to the ground with a painful thud. 

Another man came towards her, "I would leave little school girl, this is no place for you gi—" before he got a chance to finish his sentence, Eight had punched the man square in the nose, receiving a loud satisfying crack. 

"Suck my dick, asshole," She yelled, grabbing his arm and pulling herself near him to shove him over her shoulder and slam him onto the ground. Sure she loved fighting, but it wasn't satisfying fighting older men. 

Eight was then quick to grab her brothers from their ears and push them out, Klaus stumbling to grab his coat and walking out. 

"God Klaus couldn't tell me beforehand that you were a vet?" She hissed pushing him into the backseat. Getting in the car she sat up in the seat and leaned back to smack him in the head. 

"I would've controlled their minds not to see you!" she was fuming, "1968! That's a very fucking time change!" She groaned leaning to hit him again, but Diego grabbed her and sat her back down.

"Stay," He said to her as she huffed and crossed her arms, "You got a big mouth," he told Klaus pointing at him. 

Klaus scoffed, "Oh, wow. What a truly shocking revelation, Diego," He replied sarcastically. 

"Everything's a big joke to you right?" He asked him his eyes rolling. 

Eight turned to him and saw him trying to take drugs, and lunged to grab them, "Would you stop, idiot!" she said flinging it out the window, then smacking him in the head while he threw a tantrum. 

Diego scoffed, "Why are you putting this shit in your body?" He asked and looked back at him, "Check this out," He added, lifting his sweater and slapping his toned stomach. 

"My body is a temple," he said looking at him and then back at Eight and winked, she just rolled her eyes. Men. 

"All that shit you do, it's just weakness," Diego said. 

"Oh, wow, beautiful. Well, weakness feels so good," Klaus replied, digging into his pocket to grab more drugs. Again Eight leaned back and smacked it out of his hand, "Hey! The fuck did I just tell you?"

Klaus whines, knowing it was best not to fight her. 

Eight sighed, "Klaus you have to tell us what happened, we know you're not okay," she whispered to him.

"Well then read my mind to see what happened," He yelled at her still not feeling like talking about the most recent events that just happened. 

Eight furrowed her eyebrows and sighed shaking her head, "Klaus I only saw what I needed to see, but anything more serious that happened you need to tell us," she said blue eyes looking into his saddened ones. 

"I lost someone," he sighed sadly looking down at his lap, "I lost someone. The only..." he sighed deeply pausing, "The only person I've ever truly loved more than myself," he finally got out, reaching into his pocket and popping a pill into his mouth. 

This time, the blonde didn't reach to smack it into his hand. She could feel to an extent that he was hurting. 

"Well, you're luckier than most," Diego started, "When you lose someone, at least you can see them whenever you want."

Klaus looked away knowing that wasn't entirely true. There was a reason he turned to drugs most of the time. Memories of being stuck in a graveyard with the dead haunted him. The suffering of hearing all those voices yell at him was too much. Being high, kept him from hearing them all the time. 

Number Eight and Four knew all about the voices constantly being there. The hushed whispers that only caused headaches. While the blonde just kept herself busy, Klaus turned to drugs to keep it tame. 

Eight sighed and leaned back onto the chair, her eyes blank as she stared off into the distance. Mumbling random names under her breath. 

The man beside her rose a brow, not hearing anything coherently. Only heard hotel and bird which didn't make sense, but never made sense anyway. Shaking his head he moved his eyes from her to his mirror and spotted a few familiar faces. So he elbowed the blonde beside him and motion behind. 

Snapping out of her trance she looked at the mirror and her eyes narrowed, "Hazel," she whispered to him. 

"Hey I know that man," Klaus said suddenly also looking back to see the large man. 

Diego looked at his confused, "How could you possibly—"

"They were the ones who tortured me, I barely got away with my life," He explained to his sibling looking back as Hazel got into some older looking blue car. 

Diego started the car, as he noticed his car backing out of the space, "Eight I need you to be careful, okay? They probably still want you," He said to her, worried as she would get hurt. 

The blonde scoffed as his worries, "Diego, I am the greatest at what I do," she paused to glare at him, "if I truly wanted, Hazel and Cha-Cha would be dead," she chuckled when she noticed Diego's glance as he drove, "I was an assassin, it's my profession," she shrugged. 

Number Three just shivered slightly, "You're nothing like when we were kids," Diego said looking back onto the road. 

Klaus leaned forward from his seat, "Oh, little Eight is exactly the same, you just don't know her like I do," he paused and lifted a finger, "She's still arrogant, fun, and killer instinct—" 

"Klaus, I love you but I will shove a sock in your mouth," She said, turning her head to look at him with a sweet smile. 

The rest of the ride the three were silent as they followed Hazel's car. It was for the best to keep silence, while Eight was the fun sibling, she was also a lunatic that would possibly snap. 

Hazel's car parking into a small Hotel that made Klaus shiver as he had just been there not too long ago. The man getting out and retreating into the small room up stairs. 

Eight didn't say anything when Diego stepping out of the car to go mess with his car. Most likely to put a tracking device on it. 

"He likes you know that right? He always has," Klaus said giggling. 

Eight sighed, "I'm aware, but he and I won't ever happen, I'm a married woman," she said lifting her hand to reveal her ring. 

"To your teenage boy-friend," He laughed, "It's funny that you two are this age again, I didn't get to see you this age," he added leaning his head beside her. 

"It's better you didn't get to see me this age, Klaus, Five was a lot more horny and didn't have the end of the world to worry about," she sighed remembering since they got to this time, he hasn't stopped trying to get into her pants. 

"Ha, so much for you two being the smart ones," he snortend, "Little Five is probably frustrated from multiple things." 

"This is Five's fault, not mine," Eight groaned running a hand through her hair, not wanting to think about dick at the moment. 

Diego got back into the car and kept his eye on the building where the murderers of his friend were staying. 

"You know killing these people is not going to make you feel any better?" Klaus said from the back drinking from his bottle.

"What he said," Eight added with a snap of her finger.

Diego scoffed and looked at her, "Aren't you an assassin?" 

Eight nodded, "A professional one, I don't kill for personal reasons."

"Yeah, but when it's done...I'll sleep like a baby," Diego said to her with an exaggerated smile. 

Eight only hummed in response. Back in the Commission that was the first thing she learned. To not make any killings personal, whether they were bad or good, it didn't matter, they were the mission. While her brother was angry and wanted to get revenge, he wasn't cut out for this type of work. 

"Stay in the car, both of you," Diego said after a while of silence his eyes lingering on Eight. 

"Um, what the fuck? I'm the assassin here!" Eight said angrily as he stepped out of the car, "I killed a man with a pencil before, a fucking pencil!" 

"Well aren't you cute," Klaus said sarcastically tapping her nose with his finger. 

She smacked his hand and pushed open her door"Come on," Eight said, suddenly getting out of the car. 

"But he said to stay in the car," Klaus said, but still following the girl from the car. 

This time she snorted as she walked in a hurry up the steps "Yeah and he also said he didn't steal my bra when we were younger," she scoffed. 

"Oh, I remember that. Who knew little old Five could hold that much rage," Klaus giggled. 

Eight turned to smile at him, "That's my husband." 

The two then silently went up the stairs that Deigo was currently on. Spotting him peaking around the corner. 

"So, what's the plan here?" Klaus asked suddenly.

Diego sighed deeply, "I thought I told you two to stay in the car," He emphasized turning to the two. 

"Yeah, but you also told me licking a nine-volt battery would give me pubes," Klaus rebutted, bringing up his memory rather than hers, knowing it would cause a fight between the two. 

Eight laughed remembering that conversation when they were little. 

"We were eight," Diego said to his brother. 

Klaus was about to step forward, but Diego stopped him. 

"No, you two are going back in the car," He told the two being serious. 

"Klaus get in the car, we'll be back," The blonde told Klaus, she worried more about the fragile man then the man next to her. 

"Hey you don—" Diego started but he was teleported inside the empty room before he could say anything. 

"I know the way those people think, they're gone," She said and right there the rev of an engine was heard, and the car drove off. 

Diego opened the door and apparently too soon as the bullets started to rain on the group.

Eight stuffed her hands in her pockets and blocked the bullets from hitting her with an invisible force field. But it seemed life wasn't on Diego's side as she heard him groan when he was shot from one of the bullets. 

"Idiot," Eight said as she saw his injured hand, and began walking away from the two followings, "We're taking the ice cream truck," Eight said as she stepped further out, not really looking around her surroundings. 

"We have a c—" Diego said, but then he saw the condition it was in. How is it possible that she knows everything? 

Eight teleported into the van, and jumped started the car, as it began to start she smiled. So, far everything was moving smoothly, well it won't but that's not the point. 

"Get in the van losers, we're going after maniacs," She yelled to them, as she lowered the window. 

And quickly they slid the door open as she began driving quickly in the direction she watched the two phychos go in. 

As she pressed on the petal she felt Five's presence near. It was something that she was able to do since she was left alone. Some told her that is the feeling of souls being connected. Others said that it was just a second instinct. Well, whatever it was, she was fucked. She didn't tell Five they were coming and well here they were in an ice cream truck chiming the Ride of the Valkyries. It wasn't sudtle at all. 

Eight looked out from the small window and mouthed sorry to the two. While Klaus waved at the two. Luther and Five were at the most confused as to what just happened. Eight knew what she had to do, she felt the early rift of what was coming. 

She teleported and stood next to Five who quickly moved her behind Luther, but time seemed to slow down and come to a stop. That's when Eight realized what Five had done. Her eyes narrowed as she glanced at her partner. 

"You called her?" She seethed at her husband, her eye twitching at feeling. 

"Love, I'm—"

She didn't wait for his apology; rather she stepped out from behind Luther and walked to the clearing of nothing, waiting for the woman. Better to get this shit out of the way now. 

"Neat trick, isn't it?" The Handler's voice rang out, more nails on chalk thought Eight at the sight of the silver-headed woman clad in her black trench coat and signature red lips and heels. 

"Hello, Five, Eight," she greeted, removing her glasses, "You look good, I mean look at you Eight, youthful and beautiful. Must be enjoying the new found strength?"

"It's good to see you again," Five said calmly, Eight rolls her eyes at the sentiment, she hated the woman more than she hated many other things in life. 

"Feels like we met just yesterday, of course, you both were a little older then," she said smiling, "Congratulations you two. On the age regression, by the way. Very clever," She complimented. 

"No need, my husband is just an idiot," The blonde emphasized knowing the woman always had more than a mutual liking for him. She found it disgusting, but who truly was the winner? 

"Your attempts are futile, so why are you really here?" She asked the couple. 

"I want you to put a stop to it," Five asked more than anything, his hands stuffed in his pockets. 

The Handler raised her brows, "You realize what you're asking for is next to impossible even for me. What's meant to be is meant to be. That's our raison d'être."

Without hesitation, he whipped out a gun from his side and pointed it at her, "Yeah? Well, how about survival as a raison?" Five threatened. 

Now, as a person who is sworn to tell all. Eight Hargreeves who's said to feel no different after returning to a younger age—well she coudln't help but fidget and bite her lip. That was hot. 

"God if only we were alone," Eight commented biting her lip again at the situation. 

Five's eyes flickered to the blonde for a second, "Really now?" he groaned. 

The Handler watched the exchange and cringed, but looked back at Five, "I'll just be replaced. I'm but a small cog in a machine. This fantasy you've been nurturing about summoning up your family to stop the apocalypse...is just that a fantasy." 

"Get to the point lady, before I blow your brains out," Eight deadpanned. 

"Well, Mrs. Hargreeves, we are impressed with you two, you are quite something. We want to offer you a new position back at the Commission, in management," she said waving her fingers at the two. 

Eight was actually surprised with the response of the wicked woman, "Pardon?"

"Come back to work for us again. You both know where you belong. Eight you have a huge reputation back there, people would love to have you back," she said with a smile trying to convince the teen girl. 

"As you can see, that didn't work too well with my husband and myself," Eight said motioning around them, but she wasn't going to admit, she needed to check on a few things with the resources the Commission had to offer. 

"Oh but you wouldn't be in the correction division but the work office, the best health and pension, and an end to this ceaseless travel," the woman said stepping closer to the two with each word, "We could reverse this, bring you back to your older age, I mean you can't be happy like this." She said, stepping closer towards the two—more to Five than Eight. 

Eight was quick to step closer to her husbandand make the woman back up some steps as she knew she was capable of killing her here with no hesitation. At least she remembers her reputation. 

"We're not looking for happiness," Five said, looking directly into the woman's eyes. 

The Handler stepped forward and lifted her hand to touch Five's cheek, but her wrist was grabbed before she could. 

"As much as I get that my husband is a beaut, get your old hands of him," she seethed, pushing her hand off, "Plus what would happen to my family?" she asked as well, now she was stepping forward to the woman.

"What about them?" She asked, feeling slightly intimidated by the blonde woman. 

"I want them to survive," Five said pulling his wife closer to his side, but on the inside he was grinning at how territorial she was with him. 

The women sighed looking back at Luther and the truck that held the other two, "All of them?"

"Yes all of them," Five scoffed with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, I'll see what I can do," The Handler said as she put her glasses back on, "Do we have a deal?" She said offering her hand to Eight who was closest.

The blonde looked over to Five for reassurance, that they were both agreeing to this. He nodded but lifted his finger motioning he had something to say to her.

Eight walked over to the boy, "The guns," he said motioning over to Hazel and Cha-Cha. 

The girl nodded and walked over to them. Taking them apart as she scattered the pieces around.   She walked back to duo, but Eight paused noticing the bullet by her head. So she turned to it and moved it so it would avoid hitting Luther.

Five grabbed Eight's hand and turned to shake The Handler's hand. And just like that time continued on as they disappeared.

[remcycl333]

SATS Update 001 🤍

ok i did SATS last night as promised and honestlyyy...that shit was making me feel so good.

as i mentioned before i have aphantasia so i cannot see a clear image in my mind at ALL, but i can still daydream i just dont really see it? if u dont have aphantasia this is not gonna make any sense at ALL lmfao

but while i was looping my scene i honestly was feeling so good and relaxed and like...i had my desire. which is the aim!!!! i think me having to focus so hard on visualizing definitely helped with this cuz it left no room for doubts or negative thoughts

i’ve always stayed away from visualization bc i always just thought oh if you cant see it clearly on a loop then it’s not gonna work and it wont manifest so what’s the point. but then i was reminded, techniques dont manifest!!!!! me being able to clearly see my desire in my head is not going to make it manifest. if that were the case, so many of us would have literally every single little thing they’ve ever imagined. techniques don’t manifest, WE manifest. techniques are simply tools to make you feel like you have your desire and “align” you with it. (align is such a law of attraction buzzword im sorry) 

so basically what im saying is that its impossible to be bad at a technique. if it doesn’t help you to feel like you have your desire and help you get into the state of knowing, then dont use that technique. but don’t let yourself get so stressed that you’re doing a technique wrong ruin it for you and prevent you from reaping the benefits of the technique. you are never doing anything wrong!!!! you are doing every technique flawlessly!!!! 

anywayz this was just a realization i had about visualization cuz i always thought i couldn’t do it but im literally GOD so obviously i can :) 

i will def be continuing doing SATS as well and i’ll keep u updated!!! 🤍

[saintobio]

BORA BORA 👀👀 ch 8 is gonna b devastating, I can feel it. The audacity of gojo to invite BOTH y/n and sera like? I feel so bad for y/n bc she thinks it’ll be like iceland again 💔 will she ever vocalize to gojo what she felt at iceland? I think it would hurt him a lot (which is great) to hear how traumatizing/miserable/painful iceland & her 1st time was. its good to see her slowly stand up for herself & gojo panicking when she acts distant, almost as if you lOve her. Gojo pls SUFFER

Anonymous said

man if i were yn i’d ditch the bora bora trip and let hoejo go with sera alone i’d rather stay with my dignity than leave without it 😭✋ i’d tell gojo fuck u and ur reputation LMFAOOO anywayz i loved this chapter u never fail to deliver and i hope u rest well 😚✨

Anonymous said

SO UHH... THEY'RE GOING TO BORA BORA WITH SERA? AND YN WILL COME ALONG? 😀 i smell, terrible terrible things are gonna happen shhshshdd I MUST PREPARE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER I BET ITS GONNA BE SUPER ANGST

Anonymous said

Amazing chapter as usual. Thank you so much for always going all out to write for us and providing us amazing stories 😤😤

Please I'm scared for chapter 8 that y/n would be stuck between Gojou and Sera on that Bora Bora trip 😢 I just hope that Gojou would wake tf up during this time and kick Sera to the ocean and have a fun trip with y/n.

I hope you are resting and stay hydrated because it's summer. Also please don't be stressed about posting and replying. You should do things as your liking 😊😊 We will always support you and your works 🥺🥺

🌸

Anonymous said

im so excited to read chapter 8 BRING IN THE HEAVIEST OF THE HEAVY ANGST PLEASE 😩🖐️ (ik the masochism is showing, and i can't help it but vibe with angst)

also thank you for this chapter i love the range of emotions i felt all throughout. truly an experience for me, you're such an amazing writer. keep it up!!!

Anonymous said

naur i really hope gojo wouldn't bring sera to the vacation bcs what the fuck is wrong with him.

Anonymous said

Wait, so I remember you saying chapter 8 will be the start of heavy angst and bora bora chapter to be the most angst, so would chapter 8 be the bora bora chapter?

I love love love the update. It’s just the right amount of fluff, angst and smut. Truly the calm before the storm.

I almost threw my phone when I read the part where gojo still has explicit photos of him and Sera on his phone. The audacity!!!!

Also, I get why Gojo is tracking Sera’s ovulation cycle but can’t he just ask her to take birth control pills to avoid pregnancy scares and he’s mad rich, just buy a plan b. Would this ‘gojo tracking sera’s cycle’ be their argument for the next chapter or gojo finding out about the mc taking birth control? You don’t have to answer if it’s spoiler tho.

Lol, I was reading chapter 7 with my boyfriend, and he jumps every time I open my mouth to complain about gojo. Like he just sits there “👁👄👁”

1) yes she’ll talk abt iceland sometime soon 2) chapter 8 is the start of the “reversal of the roles” bc the arc will change from hereafter 3) thanks so much for reading u guys 🥺🥺 i swear every single one of u give me motivation to keep writing

[it9chi]

accidentally holding someone else’s hand hc

how they react when you hold a hand that isn’t theirs unknowingly note: happened irl. do not recommend + suna’s is a true story ++ i lost comprehensive thoughts after awhile so if it gets wonky around the end plz bear w me teehee

kageyama:

you probably wanted to surprise him during snack time or lunch break

you were in a separate classes, you being in class 4 with tsukki and yams while he was in class 3

overall its always been a routine for the two of you to meet at that vending machine he really likes

the one near the volleyball gym

and for once, you wanted to surprise him

cs u thought it was cute or wtv so anywayz

you deliberately avoided him all morning like a plague

making him a bit sus and wondering why you weren’t around to greet him for your daily morning pecks and all that couple-y shit

he thought you had a big test today that he didnt know of and just shrugged it off cs it do be like that sometimes 

the break time bell rings and you were already on your way to the said vending machine

(more like skipping to it cs.. ur always giddy when it comes to kags)

and when you arrived you spot kageyama already there making you pout and huff in annoyance

you just wanted to surprise ur baby okay 😠

so you walked up to him and immediately held onto his hand

“i wanted to surprise you today but you beat me to it” you huffed, not even noticing a damn thing

that the hand you were currently holding didn’t belong to your boyfriend

nor the person you’re next to isn’t kageyama at all

suddenly you see a familiar silhouette from your peripheral vision

you took a double take and there stood the one and only kageyama tobio with the biggest scowl on his face

immediately you let go of the person’s hand and spat apologies non stop

the person laughs awkwardly and tells you it was okay

kageyama stood frozen on his spot contemplating on walking away or talk to you or get some milk before doing some scary shit or whatever

“you avoid me all day and i see that” was the first thing kageyama said to you when you approached him

“i thought it was you!” you defend yourself, latching onto kageyama who didnt hug you back

“i wanted to surprise you and the guy looked like you so i thought it was you” you explained, hugging kageyama tighter

kageyama sighs and wraps an arm around you. “okay.. i believe you” he says passively, ignoring the pout on your face that kinda makes his heart hurt

he doesnt want nor likes to be the reason why you’re sad

“you owe me some milk though” kageyama finally looks at you making you sigh in relief

“i was planning to buy you today anyway” you grabbed his hand (this time its really his) and dragged him to the vending machine to buy his delicacy 

suna:

you two are in the same class

so that means there would be class presentations or events time to time

just like right now for example !

your class is currently preparing for a presentation for a subject 

so that means everyone was busy

suna was assigned with the props while you were assigned as one of the performers

the props men stayed inside the classroom while the people who were gonna perform went to the gym to practice their dance

after practicing for awhile, everyone took a break and went back inside the classroom

when you entered the classroom, you spot suna’s back facing you

thinking he was busy with making the props (which was rare lol), you sat by the empty chair beside him and grabbed his hand thinking it was him

you didn’t think much of it for awhile and even scrolled through your phone as you were swaying his hand the entire time

though when you kept pulling him to sit next to you like he usually does, he wouldn’t budge at all

“rin sit next to me” you whined, tugging the hand you were holding

“what the hell are you doing” you hear suna’s voice speak up behind you

and lo and behold, suna was in fact behind you

this whole fucking time, you weren’t holding suna’s hand

you let out a loud shriek and dropped the hand you were holding

blabbering apologies to the person

“i’M SO SORRY I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUNA” you bowed down to your feet as the embarrassment crept in

your classmates were all laughing at the situation

cs everyone knows you were in a relationship with the volleyball player 

suna wasn’t even mad, you just assumed he was

the boy who you were holding just lets out a laugh and mutters, “it’s alright” 

you got up from your feet and looked up to suna with tears pricking your eyes

you slowly approached him at the doorway and studied his face

something you weren’t really good at tbh

so you assumed the worst and bit your lip harshly as you approached ur boyfie

“are you crying?” he raises a brow, when he sees your lips quiver

“i’m sorry!” you wailed, bursting into tears

suna doesn’t say anything and just pulled you in for a hug

“i’m not even mad you” he scoffs, rubbing your back as an attempt to calm you down

“you look like you are” your voice was muffled by his chest. 

“well guess what i’m not” he says, cupping your cheeks so you could face him

suna wanted to laugh and take a bunch of pictures of your face rn which was tear stained and snot everywhere

if he could, he would

“still, i’m sorry” you pout, looking away

suna flicks your forehead, “lets go to the cafeteria im hungry”

[dirtyoatmeall]

Good for you

A/N: Wow sorry I've been gone!! I suddenly got back into reading and suddenly found myself in the middle of multiple series! anywayz, I finally listened to Olivia Rodrigo's new album so here is a songfic for good for u. I ended up going in a completely different direction than I had in mind. It's also long as fuck. I proof scanned it, but it's like 18 pages, as always sorry for the incorrect grammar, I do what I want. Call me Maybe will be getting one soon as well :)

Pairing: ex!Kageyama x reader, foreshadowed Atsumu x reader

Genre: angst? hurt/comfort? Its sad for pretty much most of it.

Word Count: 10.3k (im so sorry)

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and drinking, implied adult themes, all characters are 21+ !!, detailed breakup. 16+ only por favor

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. You found a new girl and it only took a couple weeks.

Your phone chimed, alerting you of a new text, you reached for it on the side table, pausing the movie you were watching. It was a message from Shoyo and an image: ‘I’m sorry, I figured it’d be better if I told you instead of finding out on Twitter.’ Your brow pinched, what could that mean? You unlocked your phone to open the text.

The pinch deepens as you zoom in on the picture, eyes beginning to prickle with tears. It was a photo- most likely taken by a fan or paparazzi- of Tobio, your boy-, ex-boyfriend. He was with a woman, she seemed slightly familiar, probably a model or something along those lines. Your face heated and shame burned in your chest, the embrace they were in looked so intimate; private, that it seemed wrong to look. You deleted the image and left Shoyo on read for now; you’d reply when you’re in a better headspace.

It had only been a couple of weeks and he had already moved on, meanwhile, you were just starting to not cry at the little reminders of him scattered about your apartment. He hadn’t even come to get his stuff. You sniffle and walk over to the wall to your left; the picture wall- and gently take one of the photos off, smiling faintly at the memory it brings to the surface.

Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?

The sun filtered through the blinds, casting a soft glow around the room. Groaning, you squint at the brightness before rolling over. Your eyes find blue ones, startling you slightly. He chuckles softly, voice deep and gravelly with sleep; sending heat through your body. “you’re so jumpy in the morning.” he whispered in the otherwise empty apartment.

You roll your eyes and let him pull you into his chest, listening to his heartbeat and his fingers traced lazy shapes into your hip. “Shut up, you know it takes me a day or two to adjust after you’ve been gone.”

You meant for the words to be light; not expecting the emotion you heard behind them. He sighs, arm winding tighter around your waist as he kisses the top of your head. You bring your head up to meet his gaze and shift in his arms, frown tugging on your lips. “’m sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

He sighs again, shaking his head softly. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, I should, for never being home, missing holidays and-“ You put a hand against his lips silencing him, brows drawn tightly together.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for either. I knew what I was getting into when we got together, it didn’t bother me in school and it doesn’t bother me now. I’d much rather you live out your dream than being stuck here with me all the time.” You feel his mouth open to object, but your hand stays firm. “I’m serious Tobio, I mean every word.” He nods against your hand and you release him. You flush slightly at the open emotion in his gaze. He pulls you into a kiss, murmuring against your lips. “I don’t know how I got so lucky with you, I promise I’m gonna give you the world.”

And good for you, I guess that you've been workin' on yourself. I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped

A few days later you meet Shoyo for lunch, a new onigiri place where he apparently knows the owner. He sighs as he sets down his menu, your eyes snapping back your own, pretending like you’ve been mulling it over this whole time. “Alright, go ahead and ask.”

You look up from your menu, feigning innocence. “Hm? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” He rolls his eyes and raises an eyebrow. You hold his gaze for a few moments before your shoulders sag in defeat. Your eyes fall to the table as you pick at the corner of the laminated menu. He gives you a minute to collect your thoughts before he places his hand atop yours, a sad smile gracing his features.

“(Y/N), it’s normal to want to know how he’s doing.” You chew your lip and mumble, “Well he’s obviously doing good since he already moved on.”

He continues as if you hadn’t spoken. “He started going to that therapist you recommended a day or so after,” he pauses, trying to gauge where your mind is. You’re meeting his gaze, and he can see you got what he was implying so he continued. “He’s been going consistently; says it’s really helped him.” You nod, blocking out his next words; too busy thinking about how you’re going to find a new therapist.

Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl

As you eat, you think over his words. You swallow and take a deep breath, trying to instil confidence in yourself. “Are they… good together?” Your voice comes out softer than intended and you inwardly cringe. He smiles faintly and nods. “They are.” You nod in understanding and turn your focus back to your meal.

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me-If you ever cared to ask

You knew it was inevitable, your apartments aren’t that far apart, you just wished it wasn’t so soon.

You were grocery shopping for the week, trying to figure out how many oranges to get before settling on 4 with a sigh, you toss them into your cart, turning around to see blue eyes at the other end.

You inhale sharply, your gazes met and he was too close for you to run away, leaving only one option. You were suddenly glad you met Shoyo for breakfast this morning, you were dressed up a bit, but you weren’t so glad when you became queasy. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped, letting it fall shut. You feel your face flush with heat and you duck your head, mumbling a soft “sorry!” and move to continue down the aisle, hoping he’d let you go.

Those hopes were crushed with the hand that gently captured your elbow, halting your escape as he turned you to face him. You were silent for a moment before he realized he was still gripping your elbow, dropping his hand to his side. You crossed your arms around your middle, trying to look- be smaller, small enough to get away. Though the rational side of you knew it wouldn’t happen, that you’ve known each other too long to simply stop. So you raised your gaze, uncurling your arms and bringing your shoulders back to at least look the part of an old friend caught by surprise, smiling as you spoke.

“Oh, Kageyama! I didn’t see you there, how are you?” He cringed ever so slightly at the use of his last name, filling you with a sick sense of pride that weighed uncomfortably in your chest. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a brunette coming up to him, not noticing you as she surveyed the list in her hand.

“Babe, did you find the oranges? Oh, remind me to pick up my birth control at the phar-“ Her eyes widened as she noticed you; cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment. Unfazed, Kageyama snorted softly, wrapping an arm around her waist before turning back to you. “This is Yumi, babe, this is (Y-) uh, (L/N).” You smiled and waved, which she mirrored, going to speak but instead was interrupted by you, who had decided to spare all of you of the awkwardness of prolonging the conversation. “It’s nice meeting you Yumi, and it was nice seeing you Kageyama, but I gotta run.”

They nodded and waved in farewell as you continued down the aisle, letting out a deep breath before heading into the next aisle. You needed more alcohol.

Good for you. You're doin' great out there without me, baby. God, I wish that I could do that.

You saw them a few more times during your shopping trip. You had wanted to leave right away, but you had been putting off groceries for too long, and leaving your cabinets and fridge almost barren. Thankfully they were always far enough where if you accidentally made eye contact a smile in passing was warranted enough.

As you contemplated between mini pizzas or a large pizza, you heard a loud giggle from further down the aisle. Your head turned towards the noise instinctively and you saw them at the end, near the ice cream, which you hoped they moved soon because that was next on your list. They were laughing, her arms around his waist as she looked up at him, he had an arm around her, resting on her hip as he met her gaze and you felt your chest tighten and an emotion you definitely did not want to name and wanted to shove down, down far enough to forget it. They looked the part of smitten lovers, and you decided you didn’t need ice cream all that bad and grabbed the mini pizzas before heading to checkout, continuing to ignore the emotion swelling, weighing down your chest and moving up to your throat.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

You took a deep, shuddering breath that broke halfway into a gasping sob. The emotion was suffocating, burning in the back of your throat and pulsing against your skull as you hugged your knees to your chest, the cold press of the tub against your back doing nothing. You tried to take a breath again but your chest was too tight, it was constricting your lungs, pushing hot tears down your cheeks and pulsing harder as with the ringing in your ears.

You could faintly comprehend the door to the bathroom opening, but didn’t look up as someone wrapped their arms around you, pulling you to them; the feel of fabric twisting in your grasp somewhat grounding as they smoothed down your hair, their words muffled under the ringing. You couldn’t think about the tears and who knows what else dampened their shirt, couldn’t think of anything except the emotion weighing so heavy in your chest you were positive it was going to break your ribs, break through you and continue down, down, deep underground.

You have no clue how long you were there with them, not even sure how long before they arrived. They shifted their arms to pick you up, and you let them, not even moving your hands from their place on the shirt, you were sure they were glued there, the tears acting as an adhesive. Sobs still racked your frame as you were set down, tucked under the covers of your bed before the person laid next to you, resuming their soothing touches as the weight in your chest slowly lightened, gradually releasing its grip on your lungs as the ringing quieted, allowing you to hear the slew of soothing words softly coming from the person next to you.

But as the emotion lessened its grip on you, tiredness swiftly replaced it, the pounding at your temples only encouraging the darkness to weigh you down, until it settled over you like a blanket, your fingers laxing enough for them to fall back to your side. Your breathing slowed, the occasional hiccup breaking the silence as you slept.

But you’re so unaffected, I really don’t get it, but I guess good for you

Shoyo let out a deep breath as he gently shut the door to your bedroom behind him, shoulders slumping with exhaustion when he heard the latch click. He dragged a hand down his face, combing his fingers through his hair as he went to your kitchen to finish putting away your groceries, throwing away what was defrosted before collapsing on your couch, pulling out his phone, debating whether or not to text the person likely responsible for your tears. Turns out he didn’t even have to, they had already called him and left a message about an hour ago, a little after Shoyo first got to your apartment. He brought the phone up to his ear as he pressed play.

“Hey, I ran into (Y/N) at the store today, you know I thought you might be right; that our friendship ended with the breakup, but it was like nothing had changed! She even met Yumi though Yumi didn’t notice at first and started talking about her birth control,” a laugh, “I don’t know why you were so worried, she seems perfectly fine. I was thinking about having a little get together in a few weeks, Yumi really wants to meet everyone from Karauno, you both should come! Oh one sec, what? Okay! Sorry, I gotta go, Bye.”

Shoyo slid down the couch slightly, groaning as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Really? He was glad you stocked up on alcohol at the store because after hearing that, he needed a drink.

Well, good for you, I guess you're gettin' everything you want. You bought a new car and your career's really takin' off.

Two weeks later you sat on your couch, eyes focused on the match televised. You tell yourself you’re watching the tournament to see who Shoyo will end up going against; if you can give them any pointers, though a part of you knows it’s a lie.

At the end of the match, the Adlers, no, To- Kageyama, had scored the winning point, securing a spot in the semi-finals. You lifted the remote to change the channel, but you froze as the camera zoomed in on the edge of the court, where you watched Yumi jump into his arms, he threw his head back laughing as he spun her around before kissing her. You could hear the commentators discussing the game after making a cheeky comment but you tuned it out. You watched them walk off the court, snapping out of the trace as soon as the camera cut to the other team. You quickly turned it off. Taking a deep breath in your silent apartment.

You were going through your Instagram feed when you came across a post from Tobio. It was him and Yumi in front of a new car, kissing. You noticed it had multiple pictures, and swiped through, all of them of the couple. The last one was the most recent, earlier today, in fact, you recognized the jersey of the other team in the background. You part of the caption, deciding to scroll past before scrolling back up to read the long paragraph that was pretty much a love letter to Yumi. You bit your lip and liked it, cursing afterwards, you didn’t want him to know you still followed him. You debated unfollowing but decided against it, it’d only look weirder if you had liked a post and weren’t following him. You couldn’t get his expression out of your head, he looked so happy.

It's like we never even happened. Baby, what the fuck is up with that?

Over the next few days you received multiple texts from Kageyama, updates on his family; that they were asking about you, wanting you to visit, an invitation to a small gathering they were having next week, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi and Yachi were in town and he wanted to introduce Yumi to everyone. And several attempts to start a conversation.

You replied to all of them, thanking him for the update, politely declining the invitation; using work as an excuse, and you halfheartedly tried to keep up with the conversations until it got to be too much. It was like nothing happened, like he hadn’t suddenly broken up with you, after almost 7 years together. There were times you wanted to remind him, but decided against it. You didn’t want to be the bitter ex, you wanted to move on, like he had.

And good for you, it's like you never even met me

You think Shoyo had a talk with him.

After it all became too much, the media, the texts, the times he tried to call you, you told Shoyo. He was furious, ignoring your pleas to just leave it be as he left your apartment.

Later that night he came back, less angry and with takeout. When you had asked where he went he just smiled and told you not to worry about it. You watched movies the rest of the night. When you awoke the next morning there were no texts from Kageyama, and nothing on social media. Your nosiness got the best of you and you looked him up, only to furrow your brow as the results came up blank. You checked the other social media you had each other on and couldn’t find him anywhere. You didn’t dare text him, just in case, but it was obvious- he had blocked you, on everything.

There was an emotion curling in your chest, but you couldn’t quite name it. You didn’t know how to feel about it, so you stayed in bed for a few more hours before migrating to the couch. Shoyo didn’t come over that night, and you hated that you were slightly relieved.

Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you?

You sighed, still slightly out of breath and damp with sweat, snuggling into the body next to you regardless, smile stretching your lips. He tightened his arm around your waist, petting your hair as he shifted onto his side, bringing you closer and tangling your legs together. You wrapped your arms around his neck loosely, softly kissing his throat, right below his adam's apple before resting your face against his collarbone. He shuddered and drew you impossibly closer. “I know I don’t say it as often as I should, but I love you (Y/N), so much. I swear sometimes I feel like you’re the only person in the world who understands me. Ugh, that sounded so cliché.” You snorted as he slightly shook with laughter. “I love you too Tobio.” You brought your head up for a tender kiss before the two of you settled into a peaceful slumber.

Well, screw that, and screw you. You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do

You awoke the following morning with a hollow ache in your chest, your eyes burned but nothing came. You don’t know if it was good that the tears never came, but the hollowness settled heavily in you, it seemed to be all around you, weighing down the air equally. You were on autopilot the whole day, not fully there.

You blinked at the chime from your phone and raised your brows at the time, and your eyes widened at the name in your notifications. You quickly opened the text and looked at the image 2,3,5 times. It was a selfie, only the top part of Yumi’s face was visible, she must’ve been taking it, having to have it out enough to get Kageyama and all of his family in the frame, everyone smiling brightly. The typing bubble popped up for a few seconds before it disappeared and was replaced by a small message. You read it over and over before biting your lower lip. This is when the tears would normally come, when they’d be expected and yet they didn't. The burn was there, the lump in your throat but nothing else except the hollow pulsed in your chest. You didn’t think that was a good sign.

From Tobio:

We miss you! The kids keep asking when you’re going to come to play again. We love you, and you’re always welcome to visit. -Miwa~

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me if you ever cared to ask

You decided not to tell Shoyo about the picture, after all, it was his sister who sent it. He sent an apology the next day and you quickly dismissed it, asking him to tell her thanks and to tell everyone hello for you and that you hoped they had a great trip.

He unblocked you later that day. You assumed it was because of your text, he probably thought everything was fine now, that little bump in the road passed and things were back to normal again. And you tried, you tried so hard to go back to the person you were before. Fake it ‘till you make it was something you lived by, and you certainly were doing a great job faking it, but the ache in your chest told you that you hadn’t made it yet.

Good for you, You're doin' great out there without me, baby

You always kept up with the volleyball news and media, now for just Shoyo, but it was impossible to not see Adlers updates, and as MSBY’s rival you felt you needed to keep up. They were a force to be reckoned with, win after win; tournament after tournament they were at the top, MSBY one of the few to keep up. You sent him a congratulatory text after his last win, if he didn’t want to leave your friendship then you’ll try your hardest not to either, even if it hurts.

God, I wish that I could do that

Well, that lasted about 2 weeks. It’d been about 2 months since Kageyama broke up with you. You texted occasionally, most of them short conversations. They used to be longer, but you knew that to really get over him, you couldn’t be his best friend like before, you had to distance yourself. Shoyo wanted you to block him, even if just for a few more months, so you can move on quicker, but you disagreed. Your lives were so intertwined it wasn’t possible to not see him or hear about him at least once a week, usually in the form of sports journalism.

You laughed at Tsukishima’s joke, choking on the margarita you were in the middle of drinking, causing the others to laugh at you. Everyone was miraculously in town this week and demanded that you all hang out all week. Yachi stayed at Hinata's apartment since he had a roommate, and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi stayed at yours, though everyone decided to congregate at your apartment, the former two falling asleep on your couch and after the third night in a row, you convinced them to just stay. Hinata packed a bag and slept on your futon, Yachi slept in your bed with you, and the last two shared your guest bedroom.

While they all swore it was a mere coincidence everyone was in town, you had a strong theory that Hinata invited everyone down to stay with you, since in 3 days was what would’ve been your 7 year anniversary with Kageyama. They did their best to keep you distracted, going out to clubs, having movie marathons and game nights that lasted until dawn. You were filled with immense gratitude for that, and you made sure to let them know it. You were glad your little group was able to stick together, even if the shadow of the empty seat at the table grows with each passing day.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

You almost made it. Everyone stayed in today, keeping a careful eye on you all morning, until you got a call from your mother. Your parents lived in the countryside, they didn’t have great reception out there, even if they did they’d keep the single landline they have now. They called every so often, for holidays or updates on health and family members. The last time you talked to them was about 6 months ago. You head into your bedroom before you answer, a little worried about what might be going on, you knew your father’s health was declining, could something have happened? You took a deep breath and accepted the call, bringing your phone to your ear. “Hello? Mom?”

It takes a second before she replies, probably trying to get your father to stand next to her. “(Y/N) sweetie, sorry it’s been so long, it’s been busy down here and since your father can’t do a whole lot anymore, it’s been taking longer to keep the farm in shape.” You can hear your father grumble something in the background and you can imagine your mother rolling her eyes.

“Nevermind that! We were calling to congratulate you and Tobio on your anniversary, that’s today right? 7 years, I hope you know how lucky you are dear, these days relationships just aren’t lasting like they used to, but I’ve always known you two would stick through, I still do. Hopefully one of these days I’ll get a call about a ring? Or maybe some grandbabies?” She giggled on the other end, going on to talk about her and your father’s relationship, not paying attention to if you’ve replied or not, and you haven’t, you’re- you’re- you jolt out of whatever trance you were in to find yourself on your bathroom floor, back against the tub, your mother still chattering away in your ear, though you can’t hear her.

She’s right. Today is- would’ve, been 7 years. A flurry of emotions roars to life in your chest and you feel the familiar burning and grip start to take hold. You clear your throat, interrupting her story.

“Uh mom, me and Tobio aren’t together anymore. I’m sorry, I meant to call earlier, but there’s a lot going on. I actually have to go, I promise I’ll call later okay? I might be able to get away from work in a few weeks to visit. Love you.”

You ended the call, guilt joining the mix, you had completely forgotten to tell your mother, her words stirring the pot of emotions and memories in your gut as they rose into your chest, filling your lungs, spilling into your throat into your nasal cavity, behind your eyes and into your skull. You slackened your hold on your phone, and it tumbled onto the tile. You choked against the burning in your throat, pressing your palms into your eyes, trying- uselessly- to stop the slideshow of memories.

He had been your best friend, your longest crush, your first- well, everything. You truly thought you would be spending the rest of your life with him, travelling the world as he plays volleyball, eventually settling down and buying a house somewhere, anywhere. Marriage, a cat, maybe a dog, and kids. You never once thought the father of your future children would be anyone but Kageyama Tobio. Apparently, he thought differently. Against your will, the night he ended everything played back in your vision.

You heard the door close as you finished up dinner, a smile stretching wide on your face as you imagined his reaction. You spent the week learning how to make this dish, an old family recipe from his grandmother that he apparently adored and ate every time he visited home without fail. After years of watching her make it, you’d think you would have a good idea of how but you were naïve to think so. You finish plating the dishes and setting up the table, brows pinched in confusion, he hadn’t come to greet you yet, which he always does. You shrug it off, he might’ve had a tiring practice, hopefully the food makes up for it.

You pad down the hallway, thinking he jumped straight in the shower. You stop in the doorway of your shared bedroom; He was sitting on the edge of the bed, head in his hands as his elbows dig into his knees. Worry and confusion rose; what was wrong? Was practice that bad? You don’t try to mask your steps towards him, though he flinches all the same when you lay a hand on his shoulder, quickly withdrawing it. You sink to your knees in front of him, gingerly holding his wrists as you speak softly.

“Hey babe, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad practice? Why don’t you tell me about it over dinner, I got everything at the table.” He sighed deeply, sagging further, like the weight of the world weighed down on him. Your concern grew and you squeezed his wrists in a silent question. He took a deep breath and sat up, you let your hands fall away but he caught them, cradling them in his grasp, pity and guilt swirling in his glassy gaze as it met yours.

You sat up on your knees, why in the world would he look at you like that? “Tobio? What’s wrong, baby you have to tell me so I can help, you gotta let me in.” You were pleading at this point. He so rarely showed this much sadness, you were sick with worry, mind going to the worst-case scenario. He squeezes your hands, bringing them up to his lips. He keeps them there for a moment, his eyes shut, brow drawn tight.

He brings them back down to his lap and lets out another sigh, meeting your gaze again. You can see the conflict on his features bright as day. “(Y/N), I’ve been so lucky to have you in my life, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pay back what you’ve given me. I’m truly, truly grateful and you've been one of my longest friends, one of my best friends. Which is why- why-“

He lets out a shuddering breath gaze dropping, tightening his grip around your hands. Your brow is pinched deeply, eyes searching his features for any sign of what could be going on. He takes a breath, trying to calm himself before continuing, and when he meets your gaze you no longer see the guilt, you see a wall you worked so hard to bring down. You open your mouth to speak, but he cuts you off. “You are one of the most important people in my life, which is why I have to do this. I can’t keep doing this, prolonging the inevitable only makes it more painful and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. But, (Y/N) I can't keep this up any longer, I thought- I thought it might pass, if I kept going along, pretending like everything is fine, when it’s not.” Your heart drops, no, it can’t be, what does he mean?.

“Everything is fine Tobio, what are you talking about? What are you saying, I-I don’t understand.” The emotion thickens your voice and his face falls as he sees the tears gather in your eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I loved you so, so much. I promise, I loved you more than anything, so much it hurt.” The tears are escaping both your eyes. You want to get out of his grasp but his hands only tighten around yours, like a lifeline. You suppress a sob bubbling up to speak, the world tumbling softly from your quivering lips. “Did?”

A hand touching your shoulder tears you from the memory. You’re aware of the hot tears streaming down your face, of the tight sobs wracking your frame, ripping from your throat against your will. You feel hollow, the ache grows and pulses until it’s all you feel, grief rising to meet it. You blink the tears away, to look around the room, you hadn’t recognized it right away, still disoriented from the memory. You see your friends, concern and in some cases, anger, in their gaze as they hover. You were surprised to find Tsukishima was the one at your side, the one who had pulled you from the memory turned nightmare. Your lip wobbles and he pulls you into his arms, embracing you as you cry into his sweatshirt, much like you had to Hinata weeks ago.

You’re vaguely aware of hushed voices around you, the rumble of Tsukishima’s voice oddly soothes you. You can hear Shoyo behind you, you think you hear him say your mother’s name, was she calling again? The thought slips from your mind as quickly as it came. You sat in your bathroom for who knows how long, crying in Tsukishima’s arms, surrounded by your friends.

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it but I guess good for you

Later that night, when everyone has finally passed out, you slip through your apartment door, pulling your hood up as you head towards the street. You have your phone, keys and pepper spray. You just wanted- no, needed to get out of there, the slight chill in the air rousing you. You take in the surroundings, letting your feet take you wherever they please.

You sigh as you take in the park in front of you. You used to come here a lot, whenever you needed to clear your head. It was a space for you to be truly alone to work out your emotions. Which is exactly what you needed now. You smile faintly as you reminisce, not paying attention as you head to the swings, only to stop in your tracks, still hidden in the shade as you watch on. What the fuck.

The creak of the swings is drowned out by laughter, two people sit on the swings, legs pumping to go higher and higher. Her hair whips in the wind and she closes her eyes, leaning back for a moment. You watch him slow down, eventually stopping and getting up to approach her flying form. Right when she is about to pass him, he moves, grabbing her and the swing, halting them mid-swing. She squeals, which quickly melts into laughter as she lets go of the chains, wrapping her legs around his torso and her arms around his neck. Her smile is a sun in the night, love radiating from the couple as they kiss. You look away and spot an open picnic basket, a bottle of wine poking through on a blanket rumpled from use.

You leave as silently as you came.

Maybe I'm too emotional but your apathy's like a wound in salt

The hollow ache starts to burn as you walk back to your apartment. You didn’t expect him to be as affected tonight as you were but you thought he’d- what did you think he’d feel? Mourning? Grief? Sadness? Why would he? He was the one who broke it off, who ‘fell out of love’ or at least that’s what he said when he broke your heart. And to bring her there?

Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all

You shared that spot with him a year after you moved in together, he knew its significance to you, to your relationship. How long had he been bringing her there? What did he tell her about it? Did he use the words you said to him all those years ago? You wondered if he even remembered what today was. He said he had loved you, but was he truthful? He promised quite a few things during your relationship that were broken when he admitted it, when he confessed ‘what had been eating him up inside.’

Maybe I'm too emotional but your apathy's like a wound in salt

The hollow was slowly filling, bitter, anger, loss, and more flooded the space as you recalled his words that night.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You had never felt more dread than in that moment.

“I loved you so, so much.” You had wished the past tense was a mistake, but you knew it wasn’t.

“I don’t know when it happened, if it was slowly or quickly.” You could tell it was a lie.

“I-I just realized I loved you in a different way than you loved me.” A cute way of saying he no longer loved you.

“I thought that if I just stuck with it, that it might change, that it was just a slump.” Another way to say ‘leading you on because I was too afraid to tell you the truth.’

“I tried, I tried so hard to love you the way you wanted me to.” For how long? How many years did he lead you on, how long did he let you think everything was ok?

“You deserve more than I can offer.” You knew that was true, you did deserve more. You deserved a lot more than this, than an offer.

Maybe I'm too emotional Or maybe you never cared at all

You were crying by the time you got to your apartment building, but it was different. You didn’t feel the aching hollow as strongly as before. You felt anger, bitterness about what he said, you had a million things you wanted to say to him, to make him know what he did. But didn’t he already know? He was there, he saw what his words did, he saw the aftermath, at the very least he heard about it. And yet the night after he was pictured entering a popular high-end club. It was on your Twitter feed that morning, effectively pouring salt and lemon into the hole in your heart. You had thought it then, and you’re thinking it now.

Well, good for you. You look happy and healthy, not me If you ever cared to ask

The next morning, no one brought up last night, and you were thankful for it. You think they could sense the shift, from the aching despair to the brittle anger. So you all lounged on the couch, playing Mario Kart to help you channel it.

You were on the fourth stage of Grief according to Yamaguchi, who brought it up the following day over breakfast. He explained: Denial- which was during the breakup and right after, Depression- which came to fruition after you ran into them at the store, Bargaining- When you tried to go back to how it was before, trying to keep the friendship alive so you’d still have him around, Anger- which was now, when you realize that you wasted years of your life for someone who didn’t even love you and now they want to go back to friends, after they immediately get into a new relationship. The next step would be the final- Acceptance, when you would finally accept he was gone, when you could finally move on.

Good for you

After that night the change became more obvious. You weren’t hiding anymore, you would hold your head high and snap others off if they trod down the wrong path. You felt the hot anger slowly cool over time, as you continued to go out, to clubs, bars, parties Shoyo always invites you to but you always decline. You met his teammates, finally after too long.

He had dinner for you and the team at his apartment that he shares with one of the said teammates. You dressed up a little, enough for Shoyo to whistle when you showed him over facetime as you finished getting ready. You weren’t planning on going anywhere except your apartment after; there was just something about knowing you look good that does wonders to the confidence. You grin widely as he complains about not wanting to deal with his teammates crushing on you. You end the call when you get into your car, you were going to stop by the store to get something and then head over, despite his assurances no one else was bringing anything.

You purse your lips in thought as you surveyed the wine selection in front of you, bending slightly to read the label of one on a lower shelf. You didn’t realize you were taking up the aisle until someone cleared their throat behind you. You paid the little mind, murmuring an apology as you stepped to the side. You felt their presence next to you, and after a minute of them burning a hole through you with their gaze you turned towards them, lips pursed in annoyance rather than thought.

You're doin' great out there without me, baby, like a damn sociopath

The wide eyes of Kageyama Tobio meet yours as you study him for a moment before smiling. “Kageyama! Sorry, I didn’t realize I was taking up the whole aisle, you know me; always so indecisive.”

Your joke seems to snap him out of whatever train of thought he was in. He smiles and chuckles, turning to look at the wine in front of you. “What kind of an occasion is it?” He asks after a beat. “Oh Shoyo is introducing me to his teammates today, wine’s something people bring to dinners right?”

He smiles and nods before pointing out several bottles. “These would be appropriate, and Shoyo likes this brand.'' He plucks one from the shelf before presenting it to you. You smile and thank him, before parroting his question back to him. He turns back to the wine. “Uh, Yumi got a promotion and I’m surprising her with dinner with her coworkers.” You hum in thought before grabbing a wine off the shelf for him. “I think this would be a good one. It's white, so the stain won't be as bad and won’t stain her lips like a red would. It’s a dessert wine so even her younger colleagues should enjoy it. Oh, and tell her congrats for me.” He smiles and thanks you before you part.

You arrive right on time at Shoyo’s, the wine was well received and his teammates were great. They were everything he told you and more, you all got along great, especially you and Atsumu, he was Shoyos roommate and it was great to have another person to make fun of his horrible habits with, much to Shoyo’s dismay.

The dinner flies by, and eventually, you’re the last to leave. You wave to Atsumu before hugging Shoyo. “Thank’s Sho, for everything you’ve done for me these past 6 months. I love you.” He squeezes you tight, kissing the crown of your head before pulling away.“You don’t need to thank me (Y/N), I know you’d do the same. I love you too, drive safe.” You wave as you leave back to your apartment.

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night. Cryin' on the floor of my bathroom

The next 6 months fly by, and you spend more and more time with Shoyo and his team. Bokuto dubs you an honorary Jackal and you celebrate drinking until dawn, as a true Jackal would. You spend time with them individually, the gym with Bokuto, reality TV with Sakusa, movie nights with Shoyo, and all of the above with Atsumu, in addition to annoying his brother Osamu at his restaurant.

It hits you out of the blue. You had felt a little off all day, but you had chalked it up to the takeout you had last night. You glance at the calendar as you walk past, only to backtrack and look again, with wide eyes. Today marked a year since the breakup. It had taken you a long time to move on, but you were finally starting to feel yourself again, so why did your heart ache all of a sudden? Why did the burning rise in your throat, prickling the back of your eyes as you began to breathe faster, feeling the despair rise out of the depths to rip a sob from you lips? You try to stop, taking deep breaths, count five things in the room, but none of it works. It’s not as bad as the other times, but you feel shame crawling up to join, you were finally turning things around, how could you let it all go to waste?

You curl into yourself on the couch, blindly calling Shoyo to ask for his company, maybe he’d know, he helped you get this far, maybe he can make sure you don’t fall too far. You listen to the rings until you hear the click of an answered call, not even letting him speak before crying into the phone, asking him to be with you, help you understand. Half your words are unintelligible as you ramble on, not really listening to the other end until you think you hear him say he’s on his way, but he sounded odd, different. Had you interrupted him? Was he too busy? No, he would’ve told you and sent someone else, probably Yachi since she was the closest.

You quickly tire of trying to hold everything back, and let it wash over you, all the feelings from this past year rise up, poised to drown you, and you allow it, letting it crash down and wash over you. You let the sobs free themselves, somehow knowing it was the right thing. You give yourself to the despair, the anger, the loneliness.

You don’t hear the knocking at the door, or the sound of the door opening, too absorbed untangling the knot of emotions in your heart; until you feel the cushion next to you you sink with the weight of another person, and a hand gently rubs your back soothingly.

You lean into him, letting him pull you to him like many times before. He pulls you into his lap, curling an arm around your waist while the other hand cradles the back of your head, letting you sob into his shirt. You take a deep breath, letting his familiar scent calm you- wait.

You freeze and your stomach drops. It’s not Shoyo. They're bigger, enough to cradle you against their chest. They’re whispering soothing words into your hair, and you hear a familiar accent, leaning back quickly enough to send a wave of dizziness through you and you sway for a moment.

“Woah, what’s wrong?” Atsumu asks, moving his hands to your hip and back to steady you. Your wide eyes meet his and he tilts his head slightly in confusion. “(Y/N), hey sweetheart, you okay? Gave me quite the scare there earlier ya know?” You continue to stare at him until he waves a hand in front of your face, breaking whatever spell you were under.

You blink a few times, shaking your head slightly as the corner of his mouth quirked up. You look back at him, brows furrowed, cringing when you hear your voice, hoarse after however long of crying. “’Tsumu? What’re you doing here? Where’s Sho?” He raises an eyebrow at your question, lifting his hand to wipe a tear from your cheek.

“Whaddya mean? You called me cryin’ an’ askin’ me to come here to keep ya company. Speakin’ of, what in the world is wrong? What’s got you so sad sweetcheeks?” Your face heats at the nickname.

“Oh, ‘m sorry, I meant to call Sho, he knows; it’s- today is-” He embraces you as a fresh wave of tears springs from your eyes. You can hear the rumble of his chest as he speaks, breath fanning your ear. “It’s all ok, ya don’t haveta cry, I can call chibi if you want him instead of me, it's no prob-“ You shake your head, cutting him off.

“No, s’kay. Thanks for being here ‘Tsumu, sorry I pretty much threw myself into your lap when you sat down.” You rub an eye, feeling awfully close to a toddler. He chuckles and combs your hair back, tilting your chin up so you’re looking him in the eye. “No needta thank me doll, and I won’t object to a pretty thing like you throwing themselves into my lap, though I’d enjoy it more if you weren’t crying. Now, d’ya wanna tell me what made you cry a river in here. Or at least what I can do to help.”

You curl inward slightly, not sure how to explain your wants at this moment, the emotions tangling in your chest too raw to name. You use actions to express your needs as words continue to fail you. You shift in his lap, straddling him instead of the awkward side hug you were doing before. You break eye contact, looking anywhere but him, feeling awkward and exposed. He snorts softly and his hands run up your knees, palm flat against your thighs, up and over your hips to splay against your back, bringing you back to his chest. Your pals lay flat against his sides, sliding along his ribcage and then south, fisting the fabric against his lower back as you rested your cheek on his shoulder. You waited and waited but the tears didn’t come, you could feel the tear tracts cool on your cheeks, trying to put your feelings into words.

A shudder than through his body as he felt you sigh into his neck, arms wrapping tighter around you, pulling you closer, until you were flush against him. The minutes passed by as the two of you stayed wrapped around each other, you breathing the only sound in the apartment. You sighed again, pulling away from him slightly to lean back to look at him. He searched your face, taking in the emotions clouding your eyes, thumbs rubbing circles into your hips soothingly. You gave him a weary smile and took a deep breath, looking down at your hands as you spoke.

“I don’t know if Sho told you about this, but about 6 months before I met you guys I got out of a pretty serious relationship, I mean it was my first relationship and the breakup hit me really hard. The day of the dinner was one of the first times I had truly felt myself again.

“We got together in our first year of high school. We had been friends years before that. God, I had a crush on him for so long, I can’t remember anyone before that.” Your voice is whispy, reminiscing on a better time. “I wasn't a manager that first year, though I was around often enough that I helped where I could. I was at almost every practice, which is how I got acquainted with the other first years. He was still guarded and grumpy then, so I was friends with everyone first, and we all slowly warmed up to each other.

“When he asked me out at the end of the year, after saying goodbye to the third years, it just- it felt so right, like this is supposed to happen. I was a manager our last two years and by graduation the six of us were close. We managed to stay in touch and visit each other whenever possible. Sho had gone to travel, Kei to Sendai for school, Hitoka and Tadashi stayed for school before she went to Tokyo and he stayed in Miyagi. Tobio was picked up by the national team immediately after graduation, to play in Rio. I was accepted into a university in Osaka, and he moved in with me when he got back.” You ignored the way Atsumu’s hands tightened their grip when you said his name.

“It was perfect, we- we were doing fine, or at least I thought we were.” Your voice cracked and you took a shuddering breath before continuing. “He traveled between Tokyo and Osaka a lot and of course for games but it never bothered me, I knew what I was getting into. Eventually, Sho came back, and joined your team, moving into an apartment not far from ours. I was so happy.” You whispered the last sentence, afraid if you said it too loud it’d sound like a lie.

“I hadn’t noticed any changes, he didn’t seem withdrawn or unaffectionate, he was like he always was, until he wasn’t. He came home one night and said he didn’t love me like that anymore, that he couldn’t love me the way I loved him. He- he said he tried to, he said he tried for a long time, in case it was a slump but it wasn’t. And all-all I could think about was the way he said it, like he had been thinking about this for a long time, he looked so tired like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders as he told me the last who knows how long was a lie.

“He left and stayed at a teammate's house until he could get an apartment. He moved close by, I still don’t know why he didn’t move to Tokyo. Sho came and stayed with me for a few days, until I kicked him out so he could focus on the tournament that was coming up. He kept in touch with Tobio, and would update me when I asked.

“That was a year ago, and I know I should be over him, and I am, or I thought I was until I realized what today was and- and everything, all the emotions I had pushed down came back up, no longer letting me ignore them. All the grief and anger and insecurity kept rising and rising until I thought I was gonna drown. Which is when I called Sho, or at least I thought I did.” The corner of your mouth twitched into a small smile as you met his gaze.

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it

“I- I think it would’ve been easier if he hurt too, if I saw that it affected him even half as much, because that would mean he had felt something, he had loved me at one point. And I don’t know, maybe he came to terms with it before he ended it, but seeing him with someone else, not even 3 weeks later just rubbed salt too deep into the wound that just seeing them happy together sent me into tears. When I ran into them days after I found out, when I saw with my own eyes how good he was, how happy he was without me; I don’t know how long I cried, but it was suffocating, it had such a tight grip on me I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t even realize Sho was there until he was hugging me.” You watched your tears fall onto your hands, leaving droplets on his pants. You took in a shuddering breath, suddenly meeting his gaze.

“I just- I don’t know what wrong with me, why can’t I let myself be happy?” Your voice cracked, and you brought a hand to your face, embarrassment simmering low in your gut. Atsumu gently pried your hand away from your face, replacing it with his own as he cupped your cheek. He wiped the tears that fell from your lashes with his thumb. He brought you forward to kiss the crown of your head before returning his gaze to you.

“Doll, look at me. There is nothing wrong with you, ya hear? Your heart was broken, it ain’t gonna fix itself in a day. You will be happy, I promise. Whenever we lose someone we love, a piece of us goes with them. He was sucha huge part of your life, I’d be more worried if you weren’t sad. I can’t say when, but one day you’ll notice it hurts less and less until you barely notice it. Until then you have me and everyone else to help you, so don’t hesitate to lean on us when you need to, got it?”

Your bottom lip wobbled and your eyes were glassy with tears yet again, though this time for a different reason. You threw your arms around his neck and crushed him into you as you cried his name. “I didn’t know you were such a softie! I bet no ones gonna believe me when I tell ‘em.” He wrapped his arms around you again, you were so close you could feel his laughter in his chest. “Yeah, and I didn’t know ya were such a cry baby.” You snorted and pulled away, “That’s on you, I am a well-known cry baby.”

You matched his grin, feeling lighter. You pulled yourself off his lap, but he didn’t let you get very far, pulling you into his side, your legs thrown over his thighs as you turned on the TV. You ended up falling asleep on your couch together, your neck cramped and you found out you drool, but it was worth it.

But I guess good for you

The next few months went by relatively quickly. There were a few hiccups, mostly on holidays, but you listened to what Atsumu had told you and you leaned on your friends during those times. Speaking of Atsumu, while you two were close before, after that night you felt even closer. You found yourself at the apartment he shared with Shoyo more and more. You came to every MSBY game you could, usually helping Osamu run his booth.

When you weren’t with him, Atsumu would often find you helping his brother run orders at the restaurant; under the guise of an apology for annoying him so often, but both twins saw how happy you were when you were working. Eventually, Osamu just gave you a position there, because he didn’t want to get caught exploiting free labor, not because he liked you or anything, you were just as annoying as his brother- or so he says.

The blonde hadn’t noticed just how much time the two of you spent together until you went to visit Yachi in Tokyo for a week, and had odd chunks of time with nothing to do. It was confusing, and frankly off-putting how different it was when you weren’t around. Everyone noticed of course, and teased him for it, more the team than Osamu, because he couldn’t deny he missed you too.

Despite your protests that it was just a 2-hour train ride from Tokyo, and maybe another 10-minute ride to the stop near your apartment, Atsumu insisted on picking you up from the station during your call earlier. “ ‘M not taking no for an answer doll, I’m picking ya up.” You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness and sighed. “Fine, but I’m venoming you for the gas, no ifs ands or buts about it.” You smiled at the sound of his groan from the other line, good thing you were just as stubborn.

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

You were idly scrolling through your Instagram feed, about 10 minutes away from Osaka when you saw a glimpse of a ring, you scrolled back up and read the caption. ‘I’m the luckiest man in the world’ followed by a picture of what must’ve been Yumi’s hand, and adorned on her left ring finger was a large, and no doubt expensive, engagement ring. 6 months ago it would’ve summoned tears, but now you smile faintly, commenting your congratulations before scrolling past. Atsumu was right, eventually, it started to hurt less and less and now it was barely there.

You stood up when the announcement of your arrival in Osaka rang overhead, tucking your phone away and grabbing your bags to exit the train car. You immediately spotted your chauffeur, thanks mostly to the gaggle of young girls surrounding him as he laughed and signed autographs. You walked slowly, trying to buy time until they left but (un?)fortunately he spotted you. A wide grin stretched his features and you couldn’t help but reciprocate, lifting your hand in a small wave. He turned back to the girls and said something before breaking through, jogging towards you as you met him halfway.

You had an amused look on your face from his theatrics and the wide gazes of the girls he left behind. “Hey.” He said when he stopped in front of you. You snorted, “Hey.” He pouted at your tease, which only made it more funny, before rolling his eyes and taking some of your bags, giving you a pointed look when you tried to object. You huffed and walked next to him towards the exit.

You startled slightly when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you by your hip into his side. You looked up at him but he kept his gaze ahead, though you could see the slight flush to his cheeks and the slight twitch of a grin. You reciprocated, hooking your thumb through the belt loop by his hip as you kept your gaze ahead, his stare bringing a slight heat to your face.

He laughed lightly and you two continued out to his car where he tried to make you sit in the back seat because “ it’s not professional for a chauffeur to let their passenger sit up front.” You laughed before letting your face fall into a mock-serious stare and said “no.” in the best deadpan tone you could conjure up before climbing in.

You raised an eyebrow as you looked at him when he didn’t start the car. His hands were on the steering wheel and he was looking ahead in thought. “Atsumu?” He looked at you, smiling softly, still not saying anything. “Uhh you okay? Do I really need to sit in the back for you to be able to drive because-“ He laughed, waving your concerns off. “No, no, I’ll allow it this once. Sorry for spacin’ out, I’m happy yer home.” You looked at him incredulously, “ I was 2 hours away ‘tsumu.” You see a faint flush creep up his neck and he clears his throat, turning back to the wheel and turning on the car. ‘I know, I just missed ya ‘s all.”

You were just able to make out his dejected mumble, quietly huffing in amusement as you glanced down briefly before turning to look forward, biting back the smile at his flinch when you grabbed his hand, bringing it to your lap as you intertwined your fingers. “I missed you too, ya big softie.” Smiling, he squeezes your palm before focusing on the road, and you feel something stir, a bud sprouting from the once hollow place in your chest. It hasn’t bloomed yet, but you have a feeling it will soon.