#anyways.... go stream build a problem

[fastandcarlos]

Mi Casa Su Casa : ̗̀➛ Carlos Sainz

summary: wherever he goes, carlos wants for you to go too, and that includes a new spot that is particularly important for carlos

Your smile turned upwards as the door to Carlos’ apartment opened, his hand reaching out and immediately inviting you in. Your eyes lit up, as they always did, taking in the grand structure of his home, the building much grander than the place you called home. 

“Come, sit down,” Carlos grinned, leading you over to the sofa that was by the window, overlooking the city. You knew your way around Carlos’ home like the back of your hand, walking straight through and dropping down beside him, feeling his arm drape over your shoulders. 

Carlos loved watching you and seeing how comfortable you were too, taking things in your stride. It felt normal for him to have you there, if anything, not having you there was what felt strange to him now, hating the feeling of walking around the quiet apartment.  

The hold that Carlos had around your frame was strong as he welcomed you into his side, resting his head against the top of yours. He’d decided to invite you round after speaking to you on the phone that afternoon, the frustration from your day evident in your voice. 

“I’m sorry your day wasn’t great,” Carlos whispered into your ear once you settled, “you know you can forget about all of that for a while whilst you’re here with me.” 

If there was one place you wanted to be after the day that you’d had, it was Carlos’. You knew if there was one person who could put the smile back on your face it was definitely going to be him, he somehow seemed to have all the answers to your problems. 

“I just want to pretend that today never happened,” you informed him with a sigh, “aside from being here with you of course, I’m happy to be here and spend some time with you.” 

“Good answer,” Carlos joked, squeezing your frame tighter. “I’ve got something for you that I think I might cheer you up a little bit anyway.” 

You tilted your body to look up at Carlos, noticing the grin that was on his face. Immediately your eyebrows raised as you tried to figure something out from the look on his face, but Carlos gave anyway nothing. On the inside, his heart was racing with excitement, knowing that what he wanted to do was going to be big, something he knew was the right thing to do though. 

Your eyes didn’t look away from Carlos as you sat in anticipation, wondering what his plans were, watching as his hand reached out to the table that was just beside where the two of you were sat. 

“What are you up to?” You grinned as Carlos picked up what he wanted to show you, telling you to hold your hand out before placing the item into your hand. 

Your eyes slowly looked down, the sunlight streaming through the window reflecting beautifully on the key that rested in the palm of your hand, slightly unsure as to where the key would give you entry to. 

Carlos’ smile was wide as your eyes glanced across at him again. “It’s a key for here, so that you can come by whenever you want to, or if you feel ready, it’s a key so you can just move in with me.” 

There was no doubt in Carlos’ mind that having you there was what he wanted, loving the feeling of sharing his home with you. Slowly you were finding yourself moving in away, leaving toiletries in his bathroom or clothes lying around in his wardrobe, all Carlos needed to do was make things official. 

“Are you serious?” You asked Carlos, your voice full of surprise, twirling the key around in your fingertips. “This is a big deal Carlos, are you sure this is what you want?” 

“It’s absolutely what I want,” Carlos quickly assured you. “I mean you spend a lot of time here anyway and we love spending time together, so why not make it a bit more of a permanent arrangement?” 

“I don’t even know what to say, no one has ever asked me to move in with them before.” 

Carlos’ smile was wide as you spoke, “you’ve not actually answered my question yet if you want to move in with me.” 

“Of course, I do,” you laughed, “I just can’t believe this is for real right now.” 

Carlos pulled you tighter into his side, pressing a kiss against your cheek. Your arm draped around his chest, head tucking in underneath his own, making sure that you kept a strong grip on the key that was in your hand. 

“This is basically your home anyway,” Carlos spoke, “Charles came round the other day and thought you already lived here with how many of your things were in the bathroom.” 

Your eyes rolled as Carlos filled you in on the conversation, it was typical Charles, pushing Carlos for answers, nagging him as to why he hadn’t already got round to asking you to move in with him yet. 

“I can’t believe this is going to be the place that I call home,” you whispered to yourself, unaware that Carlos could hear you. “I never imagined I’d live in a place like this.” 

“You only deserve the best mi amor,” Carlos replied. 

“Oh,” you gasped, not realising that Carlos had overheard. “I mean, I didn’t have much to do with this place anyway, this is a reward for all of your hard work.” 

“Then let’s make it ours, we can make whatever changes you think.” 

Admittedly, Carlos had turned his home into a bit of a lad’s pad, he wasn’t the tidiest, there were consoles and gym equipment lying around everywhere. With your help Carlos knew that he could make the place a lot more homely, a place that the two of you would both love. 

“This is your home, Carlos; I can’t just move in and start calling the shots.” 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, it’s our home now.” 

Your smile grew as Carlos spoke, struggling to believe that it was real. You had no doubts that your future was one that had Carlos in it, but moving in felt like the first proper step to making that a reality, something you were struggling to get your head around.  

“I’ve got so many ideas for things that we can do, I’ve been doing plenty of research.” 

You glanced across at Carlos in surprise, “why do I feel like I’ve suddenly got an interior designer on my hands? What sort of things have you got in mind?” 

“Just a bit of paining, building,” Carlos shrugged, noticing the excited smile on your face. “You’re imagining how I’d look doing all of that, aren’t you?” 

“Can you blame me?” You challenged, unable to clear the image from your mind, the picture clear of Carlos with paintbrush in hand, reaching up to reach the high parts of the wall with his shirt riding up to show his body. 

Carlos’ eyes rolled as you continued to daydream, “I’m not asking you to move in just so I can give you more opportunities to stare at me you know.” 

“That’s all I plan on doing when I’m living here.” 

Carlos pressed a kiss against your lips, “I can’t wait to have you here forever, to wake up with you every morning, cuddle up to you every evening too.” 

“It’s going to be amazing; I can’t wait to call this home.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[coldfanbou]

Time Off Needed

Alrighty, everyone this week turned into a Somi week, so this one is on the shorter side. Anyway, let's hope Somi gets a break she'll need one for working on one of her days off.

Length 1.8k

Somi x Mreader

Somi took a deep breath, raised her hands above her head, and stretched herself out. “Time to go home,” she said to herself as she grabbed her things. She waved goodbye to the few coworkers left in the building and got into her car, driving home. As Somi drove home, she called you, waiting as she listened to the ring go off three times. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, are we still on for tomorrow? It’s the end of the month, after all.”

“Yeah, I’ll come by your place tomorrow morning; it’s going to be an all-day thing, right?”

“Yep, alright, that’s all I wanted to know. I’ll see you tomorrow, " she said before ending the call and continuing her drive along the highway. Her mind was elsewhere, filled with anticipation for the weekend and finally getting some time to relax. 

When she got home, Somi tossed her bag onto the couch and headed to her room. She threw herself onto her bed and let out a long sigh. She shut her eyes briefly, letting her body relax before slowly pushing herself out of bed, heading to the shower, throwing off her clothes, and stepping inside. 

The hot water rolled down Somi’s tired body, caressing it as she shook her head and enjoyed the warmth it provided. Somi shut her eyes and craned her neck, groaning, “That feels nice.” She took her time in the shower, feeling her body unwind and relax further. 

Once she was done, Somi wrapped a towel around her hair and changed into her sleepwear: a simple white tank top and panties. As she left the bathroom, a rush of cold air hit her, making her shiver. She rushed to her bedroom, wrapping herself in a blanket. A smile crossed Somi’s face as she felt the comfort of the blanket. Before sleeping in for the night, she checked her phone, going through her plans for the weekend before placing it on her nightstand and calling it a night. 

The next day, Somi got herself ready, got out of bed, and put on her best outfit. By the time you arrived, she was completely prepared. She led you into the other room. It was her recording room, designed with all the frills you could imagine around her bed. “Alright, put this on,” she said, handing you a large bear mask, one that would be used by a mascot in any other situation. “Oh, and take those pills.”

“Really? This one?” You ask, referring to the mask.

“Yeah, you got a problem with it?”

“Yeah, it moves too easily.”

“I changed it; there’s a rubber mouthpiece for you to bite down on. Besides, people like hearing me, so it’s better for me too.” Somi explains, moving to the computer and bending over as she adjusts some settings. You look her up and down, taking note of the outfit she chose to wear for today—something that looked far too prim and proper for what would be happening. You would’ve called it a uniform, but Somi would correct you. She glanced over her shoulder, “Hey, get ready,” she tells you, grabbing two hair ties from her desk and putting her hair into two pigtails. You huff, strip down to nothing, and put on the comically large bear head, finding the rubber mouthpiece she mentioned. “Alright, good,” you hear her say as she pushes you to the side. She opens her blouse, showing off the soft curves of her breasts, “Show’s starting,” Somi puts on a face mask and heads back to the computer, turning on the stream.  You take off the mask to use one of the pills and watch from the sidelines as she introduces herself, “Hi, everyone!” She shouts, waving to the camera. “It’s been a month since our last show, and you guys met the goal!” Somi feigns excitement, mimicking fireworks with her voice. “Okay, so because you guys met my goal, you guys get a very special show today. We’re going to go for a full 12 hours. Sit back, get your cock out for me, and enjoy watching me go crazy. I’ll look forward to getting to see all the pictures afterward.” She says. “Alright, there’s some material for you; now we’ll get started.” 

Somi turns toward you, extending her hand as she walks over to you and grasping your cock. She drags you into the frame and waves to the camera. “I found a nice teddy bear to use today.” She says before kneeling before you. She glances up at you, and you know, under the mask is a big smile. Somi moves her hand quickly over your cock, “I can’t wait to feel this thing inside me,” she giggles. You roll your eyes, biting down on the mouthpiece as Somi’s hand slows down, and she brings herself closer. 

Somi lifts her mask slightly, slipping your cock inside. You groan. Somi’s tongue moves up and down along your shaft, coating your cock in a layer of saliva as she bobs her head. Somi groans as she sucks your cock, her fingers slipping under her shorts and rubbing against her slit. “I’m so wet already,” she says, glancing at the camera and the chat speeding by. You place your grab onto Somi’s pigtails and thrust, pushing your cock into the back of her throat. Somi chokes on your cock, not expecting you to take charge. You give her a chance to adjust before beginning to thrust into her mouth. Your cock crashes against the back of Somi’s throat. Somi glances up, hunger in her eyes, as she places one of her hands on your thighs and lets you use her throat. Somi continues to play with herself, pushing her fingers into her wet cunt. She pushes them in and out of her slit, moaning against your cock as you drive your cock into her.

Saliva coats Somi’s mouth as you continue to thrust, your balls smack against her chin as she begins running out of breath. You don’t stop, though, you were enjoying fucking her throat too much, and you both knew her fans loved to see her become a mess. 

You held Somi against your crotch, watching as the young woman furiously fingered herself, her moans growing higher in pitch until you pulled out. You adjust Somi’s mask and rub your cock against her, she nuzzles it in response.

You grab Somi’s hand and pull her to her feet, making her face the camera. You reach up and pull off her blouse, showing her tits to the audience. You cup them, raising them slowly and dropping them, letting everyone see Somi’s tits bounce. “Take me already,” Somi moans, rubbing her ass against you. You keep one hand on Somi’s breast, pinching her nipple and making her whimper while you slowly pull down her shorts with the other.  

Moving to the bed, you bend Somi over it, making sure the camera has a good angle as you drive your hand into her ass. “Mmm!” You strike her again and again, her ass slowly turning red as you switch from cheek to cheek. You begin to slow down your smacks, letting the crowd take in the sight before moving Somi onto your lap. Rubbing your cock against her wet slit Somi looks at the camera, “He’s about to put it in everyone; make sure you watch carefully.” She says, her words slurring as you slip yourself inside her tight cunt. You move your hands to her thin waist, gripping it tightly as you move her up and down your shaft.  Somi’s moans flood the room as she takes your cock, feeling it stretch out her cunt. As you pick up the pace, her tits start bouncing, entertaining the audience as they watch the young woman beg for more. Each thrust crashes against her womb, making Somi’s body tingle as she rides you. 

Somi’s eyes go half-lidded as she continues to bounce on your cock; it was for show; her moans, though, were real. You shift one of your hands to her clit, gently flicking it and sending a shock through her system. “Oh shit,” She moaned, Somi leaned forward, hunched over as you teased her. She glanced up at the camera, ensuring everything was still going as you had your way with her. Somi could see tips flying in as everyone watched her getting fucked. She tried to figure out how much it was, but the pleasure coursing through her put her mind in a fog. Before she could try to clear her mind, you put your arm over her chest and pulled her back, holding her down as your thrust became quicker. Your muffled groans came quickly as you neared your climax. Somi could feel your cock begin to throb inside her, “He’s going to cum!” Somi yelled out, throwing her head back to show her face as you buried your length inside her. Not a second later, you were flooding Somi’s cunt with your cum. Her body tensed around your cock, milking it as she continued to moan. 

“Oh, fuck,” Somi laughed, “I feel so full everyone. Did you cum for me too?” She asks them before giggling. Somi pushes herself off you, letting your cum run down her leg, before turning around and bending over. “Can you see how he filled me up?” She asks before sneaking her mouth around your cock again, lapping up your semen as she spreads her folds and lets everyone glimpse at her swollen cunt. 

“I wonder how many more times you’ll cum,” Somi whispers as she wraps her lips around your cock and pulls back. Somi looks over her shoulder and looks at the camera, “Alright, everyone, you’re going to see what it’s like when I’m in charge of riding.” Somi pushes you onto your back and straddles you, rubbing your cock between her folds before impaling herself onto it. 

You and Somi continue the marathon of sex, stopping on occasion but fulfilling all twelve hours. Somi barely has enough energy to turn off the stream and return to bed. Her legs are shaky after the many orgasms and the soreness she feels. Through the twelve hours, you had cum inside Somi so many times you forgot the exact number; you hadn’t put it all in her cunt either, switching between all three holes she had. Cum was flowing between her legs as it leaked out of her gaping asshole and cunt. You take off the bear mask and look at Somi. “Are you going to be able to do anything tomorrow? You’re going to be super sore.” 

Somi didn’t respond; she was already sleeping. Her saliva and your cum mixed as it dripped onto the mattress. You chuckle and leave her there, covering her with her clothes before taking a shower and leaving the young woman for the night. 

[blockgamepirate]

This is my petty complaint time, this video annoys me SO MUCH and even more so what annoys me is that the latest comment on it is this:

HE TAUGHT YOU SO MUCH BULLSHIT, PLEASE NO, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM

And yes, I've been thinking about this stream for nearly three years now, I've been meaning to go through it to critique Wilbur's arguments, I just never got around to it

Wilbur: "Tubbo, you've created an anti-state capitalist dystopia"

So all Tubbo had explained so far was that his town had a big company that owned two other big companies. Nothing about the government or anything. It's true that one company owning all the major businesses is pretty dystopian, sure, but I have no idea where Wilbur got the "anti-state" thing from, usually capitalist companies are fine with the existence of states, states do a lot of dirty work for the capitalists

Spoiler alert: Tubbo's city turns out to be pretty much a city state so Wilbur is just wrong anyway, not that he ever acknowledges it even when it does come up

Also it's not like corporate acquisitions are completely unheard of in the UK, as far as I know. Admittedly the UK is also arguably a capitalist dystopia but you know what I mean, the concept shouldn't be all that shocking to Wilbur

He's being so dramatic and trying to make it sound like he's caught Tubbo in a mistake or something. He also keeps asking questions and then not letting Tubbo answer properly before taking like one word Tubbo says and running with it

But this is the one that I find the most obnoxious:

T: "I did some research into like economics and stuff and I discovered this thing called UBI, have you heard of it?"

W: "What's it stand for?"

T: "Universal Basic Income"

W: "Yeah, I know about that"

He clearly does not know what UBI is.

It becomes very apparent very quickly:

W: "So you've got universal basic income but then also the rich exist still?"

T: "Yeah! Yeah they do."

W: "How does that come about then,"

T: "So in my mind--"

W: "is this universal basic income different for different people?"

T: "No, no, the universal basic income is better for everyone, just the people who have--"

W: "In order for there to be a 1% that means someone's earning more,"

T: "Yes, someone is earning more"

W: "but that means the universal basic income isn't universal!"

T: "No no no, not everyone's getting paid the same but everyone gets the same to begin with, okay? But then you can build on top of it."

W: "Oh no, you've got a-- Tubbo, you've got a fucking social point system!"

T: "Have I made a social point system??"

W: "Tubbo, you've made China!"

None of what Wilbur says makes ANY sense here. The only explanation I can think of is that he didn't know what UBI was, made an assumption that it just meant "everybody gets paid the same amount of money" or something like that and then just spoke fast enough that Tubbo couldn't correct him

Tubbo is correct here, Tubbo knows what he's talking about, but he can't out-speak Wilbur who is just throwing so much bullshit out of his mouth that there's no time to even respond

So, UBI means that everyone in the society gets a regular payment of a specific amount of money that's the same for everyone regardless of their life situation (and generally a requirement would be that it has to be enough to live on, altho people do like to water this down a lot...) This would be completely irrelevant to your wages or salary or capital gains. You can choose to either live on the UBI or you can just do the regular capitalist things to earn extra money on top of the UBI

Obviously I'm not one of those people who think that UBI would solve all of world's problems, I mean I am an anarchist and all (and not an ancap either), but it's literally just a very streamlined welfare system. That's all. It would probably be a lot better than the current models we have but it's not fundamentally different. There's nothing particularly weird about it, the point is just to make sure that everyone has enough money to live on, in every other regard it's just normal capitalism

Wilbur completely misunderstands the whole thing (because, again, he does not know what UBI is so he's just trying to imagine what it might mean based on what Tubbo is saying) and jumps immediately to something he apparently has heard of, which is the Chinese social credit system, which has nothing to do with UBI. In fact I'm pretty sure it also doesn't actually have anything to do with income either, or at least not directly, so I don't think Wilbur knows what the social credit system is either

He's literally just talking in buzzwords

Like if you actually wanted to make a leftist critique of Tubbo's city, you could, don't get me wrong. But instead Wilbur keeps insisting that he's made a social point system despite Tubbo trying to explain why it's not that at all

Wilbur just keeps yelling over Tubbo until his own chat turns against him and finally Tubbo himself also kinda gives up

And from there Tubbo also kinda just starts playing into the bit and just lets Wilbur direct the whole conversation, the rest of it is just them getting more and more into the roleplay. Wilbur keeps talking about the state pension plan, even though Tubbo already tried to explain that it's part of the UBI (this actually is how UBI is supposed to work, it does indeed streamline most of the welfare spending! Obviously you can still raise questions about that (I can think of a few at least) but Wilbur didn't let Tubbo explain so I have no idea what Tubbo actually had in mind)

I could try to go through all of what Wilbur says here but it's just too much, so maybe some other time. Although to be honest there are so many other streams that I probably should talk about instead that some fans unfortunately took a bit too seriously because they assumed Wilbur knew what he was talking about

My point here is mainly that just because someone sounds really confident and knows a bunch of buzzwords doesn't mean they know what they're talking about.

[remlionheart]

hiii !! may seem a bit basic, but chuuya picks up reader after a stressful day at work with his motorcycle fluff and smut 👾.

thank you, u're the best !!

୨ৎ❀ hey, there’s nothing wrong with simple! i appreciate you sending me a suggestion ♡ it's been awhile since we've visited my fave ill-tempered redhead anyway and he deserves all the attention ୨ৎ❀ fluff. smut. deep throating. praise. rich-boyfriend!chuuya x fem!reader. quick lil 1.9k word drabble. lemme know whatcha think, luv u ୨ৎ❀

♡ MDNI ♡

Me 'n My Girl ｡˚☽

so proud to be in your world, just me and my girl ⋆.˚

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

A warm mid-evening breeze swept through your hair as you stepped out of large doors of your office building and let out a sigh. The smell of petrichor bounced off of the pavement while a light rain cascaded over downtown Yokohama.

Under normal circumstances, it would’ve been your favorite weather, but the stillness of it was just another reminder of the unrelenting storm of anxiety that’d been plaguing your mind all day.

Nothing had really happened. Work went okay. Your commute there was okay. Your coworkers were okay. Your lunch was okay. Everything was seemingly okay, but that's what made it worse. You couldn't pinpoint the source of your discomfort. Couldn't place the blame on any one single thing for making you feel so off. It was a phantom annoyance. A problem that didn't seem to exist to anyone else besides you.

"Shit." you mumbled, feeling your purse slip from your shoulder as it, along everything it was holding, fumbled out of your reach and spilled out into the middle of the sidewalk.

You were halfway down the stairs, your pumps clicking against the concrete when your hand suddenly reached for the railing. The heel of your shoe breaking clean off, almost knocking you completely off balance.

It wasn't the time to cry. You'd made it so far - managed to hold it together for your entire shift and you were finally at the finish line, but your capacity to handle any more minor inconveniences was well beyond its limit. You swallowed down the lump in your throat, unable to fight back the hot, frustrated tears that streamed down your cheeks while you took both of your shoes off and you gathered up your belongings in defeat.

Chuuya rounded the corner not a second too soon, the loud vroom of his engine coming to a gradual halt as he kicked his foot out to put the motorcycle in park before stepping off.

He smoothed down his disheveled hair, his smirk quickly fading the closer he got to you.

"Baby..." he said softly, looking at broken pair of shoes in your hand and the haphazard way your bag had been slung over your shoulder. "What happened?"

"Nothing," You lied, shaking your head. "It's fine."

He knew you too well though. Knew that if he simply nodded and waited a minute, it would pour out of you without him having to pry. He put a hand on your shoulder, letting you avoid his stare until you finally caved.

"Today was just stupid," You sulked, "Everything was horrible for no reason and then my fucking heel snapped and now," You were fighting an uphill battle against your emotions. More tears pricking at your eyes as your gaze caught his. "And now I can't even ride on the back with you because I'm barefoot and everything is ruined."

Even though he hated seeing you get this worked up, he couldn't deny that there was something so fucking cute about how pouty and helpless you became when things didn't go your way. He took pride in knowing that you needed him, that he was the one you relied on to pick up the pieces when life got too stressful.

"Stay here," he said, taking his leather jacket off and draping it around your shoulders. "I'll be right back, okay?"

You nodded at him, watching him tuck his hands into his pockets as he crossed the street. It was easy to forget who he was sometimes. How merciless he could be with other people when he was so gentle and attentive with you. He was a Port Mafia executive who doubled as a golden retriever boyfriend when no one was looking. Calloused and feared by some of the scariest people in Yokohama and yet for some reason, physically incapable of saying no to you.

You wiped your tears away watching him flick his cigarette onto the sidewalk, an unexpectedly large Chanel bag hanging from his wrist.

"C'mere," he said, taking your hand as he led you to the Ducati.

You plopped down on its leather seat with both legs dangling off to one side while he knelt down and opened the bag, sliding a gorgeous pair of black open-toed suede heels onto your feet.

"Gimme the broken ones."

You pulled them out of your purse with a small smile, letting him throw them away in a nearby trashcan before returning back to you. "Better?" he asked.

"You know there's an Adidas store right around the corner?"

He smirked, placing both hands at either side of you, his mouth grazing yours with a whisper. "My girl had a terrible day at work and you expect me to make it worse by buying her cheap shit?"

Your heart fluttered, another slight grin tugging at the corners of your mouth as you breathed in the comforting smell of his cologne. "Your girl is really lucky to have you."

"Yeah, well…" he mused, "I have a feeling she'll be makin' it up to me later.”

⋆.౨ৎ˚.⟡˖ ࣪

The ride back to his house was peaceful with hardly any traffic for a Thursday night.

There was something about being on the back of his motorcycle that made you feel so indescribably close to him. From the way your body pressed against his to the way he'd tell you to hold onto him tighter. You loved the looks people would flash the two of you as you'd speed past them. The butterflies that flooded your stomach each time he'd start to go faster than he should've. Even if he had a bad habit of occasionally breaking the speed limit, you still trusted him entirely. He was well aware of the difference between having a little bit of fun and being reckless and he'd never cross that line when he was with you.

You felt infinitely better by the time you pulled into the garage, carefully letting your legs fall as he shut off the engine. Your bad day felt like a distant memory - your mind now comfortably occupied with the thousand-dollar shoes that were decorating your feet and the way his eyes lit up as he helped you down.

It was hard to process sometimes that he'd been waking up next to you almost every day for the last year and still looked at you like you had put the stars in the sky.

You grabbed his arm before he could make it inside the house, gently pushing him back onto the seat of his bike. He raised an eyebrow, but didn't stop you as you hovered above him and began undoing his belt.

"You always make me feel so good." You whispered, reaching up to let your lips catch his while your hands continued to unbutton his pants. "I wanna return the favor."

You could feel him growing hard as his tongue swirled against yours with fervor. A gloved hand resting on the back of your neck to pull you in closer while you reached for his zipper and freed him from the fabric that was separating the both of you.

He let out a low groan when your palm met the base of his cock, delicately wrapping your fingers around it as you started to move uppp and downnn at just the right pace, earning even prettier noises from him.

His grip tangled into your hair, moving your head to the side so that he could descend down your neck. Kissing and nipping away at your soft skin while you continued to stroke him. His movements were getting harder to control the faster you went, squeezing him so fucking perfectly that he nearly ripped the front of your shirt open.

You let out a small yelp as he roamed across your chest, lightly slipping your nipple between his teeth while his blue eyes travelled up to yours. "Get on your knees for me."

You nodded, keeping your stare locked with his. Your hand still going in the same motion as you repositioned yourself, kneeling in front of him so that your face was front and center with where he wanted you. You pulled his pants down further, your core aching as you obediently slid your tongue along his base.

"Fuck," he hissed, his mouth dropping open at how tantalizingly thorough you were, "God, that feels – hah – that feels… so.... good."

You took your time, coaxing more heady praises out of him as you made your way up his length, letting a generous amount of spit trail down his shaft while your hand held him in place. His pink tip was practically dripping with pre-cum by the time you reached it, begging to have your pretty little mouth wrapped around it.

You smiled against him, looking up at him with doe-eyes before giving in to his body's needs. "It's all mine, right?" You asked, causing him to twitch in your hand.

"All yours." He groaned, doing everything he could to stop himself from shoving your head down onto him. He wanted you so bad it hurt, but even in the midst of his clouded thinking, he was still more concerned about you. If you needed to hear him say it, then that's exactly what he'd do.

"It's all yours, baby." He exhaled. "I'm all yours… Every inch of me is all – fucking...your...s"

His words were quickly taken from him though, stolen by the way you’d flattened your tongue and pressed it firmly against his tip.

You watched his eyes roll back as his hand gripped your hair, the two of you working to find the perfect rhythm.

You loved the breathy noises he made for you. The way his hips thrusted forward while he buried himself into the warmth of your mouth. The feeling of him getting harder with each slurp and squelch that echoed across the garage as you struggled to take the whole thing.

"Keep going." He grunted, still fighting the overwhelmingly feral urge to slam into you. "Doin' so good f'me."

You went as deep as you could, easing him into the back of your throat while your tongue continued to glide across his shaft.

His movements became more frantic, his voice breaking the faster you went. "God – damn..."

You kept up the same unrelenting pace, drool spilling down your chin as your eyes locked with his again.

"Fuck," his moans turned into guttural whimpers, his body thrusting desperately in search of release. "Just like that," he choked out, "just like that, don't – fucking stop, please baby... don't stop, I'm –"

He looked lost, completely entranced by the hold you had over him as a lewd warmth coated the back of your throat. More carnal obscenities pouring from his lips as he slowly regained control over his breathing and pulled out of you.

"Next time –" he panted, helping you to your feet before leaning in to kiss you. "I'm buying you the whole fuckin' store."

⋆.౨ৎ˚.⟡˖ ࣪

[notscarsafe]

OKAY SO what with the TWO new Hermits implied by the updated banner I will say that, though the Skizz truthers have me convinced, I now have room to do my own crazy red string monologue and throw my hat in for my choice

1) Mythical J. Sausage (the J is silent) is a multitalented S-tier builder that absolutely deserves to be shoulder to shoulder with the Hermits. The man does buildings, interiors, terraforming, custom trees, and he does them SO WELL.

2) The production values!!! Beautiful replay mod sequences with shifting camera perspectives, shaders, music that sets the tone for each segment that's different from series to series. He already has more than a million followers on YouTube and for good reason!!

3) He has been SO consistent lately. He started a hardcore world about three months ago (about the time you might expect the Hermits to finalize their s10 choices maybe...???) and already has 15 episodes and hasn't gotten involved in any other big content. (He did just start playing a little of the BCG server but from what I understand that's super casual /copium copium copium).

4) That hardcore world is conveniently about to reach a good "pause" point. He started his world on a cherry blossom biome island that he's filled with a medieval village and starter farms, he's said it's almost full and what's left is the castle. I'm guessing the new season will start the first week of February, so if Sausage puts out a video this week building out that Castle and finishing that island it will be MIGHTY CONVENIENT TIMING.

5) This man can GRIND. His Hardcore world hasn't even been going half a year and he's built... So much??? Magnificent! And when he was on the Hermitcraft server he did the Razorcrest for scar AND the player head baby yoda/stormtrooper merch AND the noteblock themesong AND still built in the xmas village and other "diamond of peace" and so many other shenanigans. Did the man even sleep? He can grind with the best of them.

6) He can do redstone, too! Maybe not unique designs, I honestly don't know, but he builds farms for build materials no problem.

7) The DRAMA this man loves his improv and his backstory and trauma lore! For every series he does! Can you imagine if he gets to interact with Ren for an extended period of time, what that would do to them, to us?? Give Martyn a run for his money!!

8) Which brings me to my next point, which is that Sausage is already One of The Gang, because he's been in series with so many of the Hermits already! Empires and the crossover, obviously, but also Pirates with Cleo and Origins with Scar, and he's even done MCC! Joel is the only other player with the same depth of different series but there are other people truthing him already.

9) The EPIC BROMANCE with Pearl. My god the devotion of this man to his sunflower goddess bestie. I would try to do ot justice but y'all have seen floweroflaurelins work, you already know.

10) He's already a PG streamer but with HILARIOUSLY PG-13 tendencies. Imagine him and Cleo cracking each other up at an HHH stream, *grips your shoulders* IMAGINE IT.

11) Sausage comes with his own mascot in the form of interdimensional dog extraordinaire Bubbles, but he's also just an animal lover on general. Mans drinks his "I love Jellie" juice and had her in his world even before the sad news of her loss.

12) Diversity win! No one should be hired just for their gender, race, sexuality etc etc unless it's truly necessary to the job, but we were all happy when more women got added to the server in s8 and I know a lot of people would be happy to see some ethnic diversity added, too.

... That bulletin board had a lot more pins in it than I thought it did but anyway MYTHICALSAUSAGE TRUTHERS/ALL OTHER TRUTHERS RISE UP SPEAK YOUR TRUTH! we'll only get to wildly speculate for a few weeks so we might as well make it everyone else's problem ENJOY IT TO THE FULLEST!!

[lowkeyrobin]

MCYT with a reader who would literally get into a fist fight for them?? Literally, if someone even looks at them wrong reader will throw hands. It's literally that meme (Random person) "GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH" (MCYT) "it don't bite" "YES IT FUCKIN DO-" I'm sorry I'm feeling silly 😔

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS PROMPT AND THE REFERENCE TO THIS MEME LMFAOOO OH MY LORD BSHWJRHEJJAJW ; very vine oriented so I apologize. you threw me into a loop referencing that

MCYT ; "anytime, anywhere, I'd beat a bitches ass for you"

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, slimecicle, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, talk of blood/injuries, physical fighting, vine cringe because I got very carried away and you can tell

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he was one of those kids in high school that made light offensive jokes but would never fight anyone over anything, he's not a violent person at all other than in his jokes

but God forbid some random person look at you two weird in public, you're on their ass

you're more offended that they were judging Tommy at all, you couldn't care that they were judging you

"sorry, do you have a problem?" You squint your eyes at the person, "me and my boyfriend are just trying to shop and you keep following us around and staring, like, can I help you?"

just a teenage Karen

yall do take it outside when the motherfucker follows you out and begins to record you

you beat this fuckers ass to a PULP

Tommy's just holding the few bags of stuff you'd purchased staring down, jaw on the fucking floor like "Oh my God wtf do I do"

he had the vlog camera on so he kinda got it all on video before he pulled you away from the person

yall sprinted the hell away bc the security guards were running towards yall 😭😭

#neveridentified

#the person admitted guilt anyways and said they were planning to hurt you so no point in trying to track yall down for self defense

#i barely know the law shush

RANBOO

they just kind of accepted that you were like this

"I do not endorse violence unless you are y/n. I can't make them un-violent. I have tried, they're a vicious guard dog now"

hurricane Katrina? more like hurricane tortilla when you enter the building

yk the free style dance teacher vine? that'll be ranboo out in public and someone will stare at them all weird and you'll glare back

"walk away, walk away" you mumble, watching the person hurrily walk away as they see you like glaring daggers into their skull

your dynamic is the one vine that's like "Oh can I have a sip of your water?" and "It's not water or vodka, it's vinegar" "bitch what"

then you'll go make angsty edge lord posts to the one bojack horseman audio "I'm not a violent dog" and insert a clip of you beating the shit out of someone in high school

FREDDIE BADLINU

you post the "look at all those chickens" vine on your Twitter everytime you see a hate comment made for one of you

you love instigating fights w people online it's the funniest fucking thing

if you don't know how to reply to some dumbass edgelord response you'll just spam the guacamole vine until they shut up

"wait, why does y/n have so many soaps?"

"MIND YOUR FUCKIN BUISNESS DAVID"

Freddie's response to your violence is usually the saxophone seal vine. he genuinely laughs everytime he sees you fighting w someone online

sometimes you'll stream it while you wait for a response and while you're fighting online trolls who've been brainwashed by Twitter

"You're gay?!?!?!?11??11"

insert the "ms keisha dead" vine and the battle is over idk what to say

fight fire with fire I guess

NIKI NIHACHU

she hates yet loves that you'd fight ppl for her

oh, someone treated her wrong? you'll be trending on Twitter for fighting the person

#y/u/n will literally be at number 1 for a week

people edit the fight too

she appreciates it though, even though she doesn't exactly like to promote violence, she'll accept it from you

"Oh, don't worry about them, they're just a little... nervous around people sometimes"

"nervous? girl that mf is SNARLING at me"

you'll see a post that's like "me when someone tries to start shit w my s/o" and reply with the "hahaha I do that" vine

when I tell you she CACKLES reading online fights with people 😭🙏

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

"get the F off my yard!" proceeds to have to drag you away from situations where someone's actin a little funny in a /neg way

he genuinely thinks you fighting people for him is funny

he'll tell the stories on stream and to his friends like "dude they fucked this guy up, I honestly feel bad for laughing"

honestly most the time it's people victimizing themselves

like that one meme where the lady very obviously and fakely falls over that bench on LIVE TELEVISION.

he's your biggest supporter

he's the old guy from that one vine of the kid singing "Oh wait a minute mister postman" and he does the whole ass high note

"here's y/n fighting someone for idk what because they're talking to the police 😋"

you're a problem at this point

QUACKITY

you've physically fought so many wild racists for him it's crazy

he'll gladly cheer you on

"AHHHH COME GET YO DOG BRO HELP"

"Oh it don't bite"

you proceed to bite the bitch

online fights are usually responded w the purple teletubby twerking meme

"L don't be a weak ass racist pussy next time"

you fight Logan Paul for some reason??? Twitter drama mostly

don't worry quackitys there to watch

17-3 don't worry... ehehehrhahahha

when he tells you that you need to stop instigating fights you send him the "They ask you how you are but you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine" meme BAHDNHAHA

FOOLISH GAMERS

"YOU KNOW WHAT DUDE? IM OUTTA HERE" vine in a nutshell with you two. I can't explain this but it makes sense I swear

"whatd you do to your eyebrows?" meme except its "Whyd you fight that person!?" "I don't really know!"

Twitter fights are like "and they were roommates!" "ohmygodtheywereroomates" I swear to fucking god

you love instigating shit with Twitter trolls

when you stand up for him/reply to edgelord haters for him he replies with the "country boy I love youuuuuuu" vine

"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKIN MONEY!" vine with the law and order intro is literallt how physical fights go

let's just say some stalker edgelords tracked you guys down at the streamer awards...

HE AND PUNZ GENUINLEY CHEER YOU ON

here you go trending on Twitter again

[mariclerc]

Cute boy next door | cl16

Summary: your little one can't sleep at night thanks to the noise from your loud neighbor.

Warning: latina!hispanic reader, streamer charles (i miss him A LOT) and fluff.

Part 2

A hallway with sleek, modern doors lining either side, the soft glow of moonlight filters through the window at the end. You stand outside one of the doors, biting your lip nervously... You hold a three-year old little girl named Lola in your arms; Lola is rubbing her eyes sleepily while she holds a stuffed animal in her little hands.

“Okay, y/n... you can do this! It's just a noise complaint and Lola needs to sleep.” you whisper to yourself.

You raise a fist to knock on the door, for a moment you doubt it, but you do it anyway.

The door swings open to reveal a handsome young man in a fitted t-shirt and sweatpants. He has a pair of glasses on and a bandana tied loosely around his forehead, he looks a little bit surprised.

“Uh... hi? Can I help you?” he asks softly.

You swallow a little bit. “Um, hola... hi... Excuse me for bothering you... I live next door, and, well...” You look down at Lola in your arms, who whimpers softly. “I don't know if you were playing loud music or something earlier? But, my little girl Lola can't sleep.” you say softly.

Charles's eyes widen in realization, he blushes slightly and rubs the back of his neck. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I was just... streaming while playing on the simulator a bit... I didn't realize it would be so loud.” He says with sorrow in his voice.

“It's alright, don't worry too much about it.” you say shyly. “This is all new to us, we just moved here from Miami a few months ago.”

He opened his eyes in surprise and smiled.

“From Miami? Wow, that's a big change! I bet it's quite an adjustment.” He says. “Are you hispanic?” he asked softly and you nod proudly of your roots.

“Si señor, now you have two latina friends on the other side of your wall.” you say giggling. “And yes... It is quite the adjustment, especially for Lola, since she misses her abuelos terribly.” (yes sir) (grandparents)

Charles smiles warmly at the both of you, he looks so friendly and there's a pretty familiar and warm vibe about him, but you can't quite figure it out yet.

“Well, I'm Charles, by the way. Welcome to the building! It's nice to meet you both.” He says and you smile warmly.

“Nice to meet you, Charles.” you say shyly and you quickly look away. “Well, I don't want to interrupt your night of fun but it was a pleasure and thanks again.”

He smiles genuinely. “It's no problem at all, and if Lola wakes up again, don't hesitate to knock on my door... Maybe we can have coffee sometime?” He asked, there is a slight blush on his cheeks and you nod and blushed a little too.

“Coffee sounds lovely. Thank you for the offer, but, we wouldn't want to intrude though...” you were saying but he gently interrupted you.

“Not at all! Trust me, a little company is a welcome change from the roar of a Formula One engine... Besides, maybe you can teach me some Spanish, my language skills are a bit rusty.” he says quite blushing.

You blush at his words, is that a slight flirtation or is it just your head making things up? Be that as it may, you smile tenderly at him.

“That sounds good, i'm sure Lola and I would be happy to help! Alright, Charles, we'll take you up on that coffee offer then.” you say and he smiles shyly.

Charles beams. “Great! Just let me know when... Here's my phone, you can write your number there!” He says, extending his hand to give you his cell phone and you do the same.

You write your number and schedule yourself as: "y/n the latina neighbor 🤍" He writes down his number on your cell phone and books himself as: "Charlie the nice neighbor ❤️" you smile tenderly when you see the red heart next to it.

“Well, I should go to my apartment... Good night Charles and thank you again... For understanding.” You say sweetly and he smiles, showing off his dimples. "dios que lindo luce con sus hoyuelos" you think while looking at him. (God how cute he looks with his dimples)

He smiles widely. “It's no big deal y/n! Have a good night you two, sweet dreams.” he says softly and smiles.

You smile back and walk into your apartment, feeling something strange and cozy in your chest. You place Lola on her bed and give her a little kiss on her forehead, meanwhile, your head won't stop thinking about the cute, handsome neighbor next door and you're sure that his shy smile will probably stay stuck in your head for days and weeks.

***

“Si mami Lola y yo estamos bien” You say while talking on the phone with your mom. “Y no, todavía no he ido a tomar café con el lindo vecino, mamá por dios! Que preguntas.” You say a little excited, Lola giggles at your reaction. (yes mommy Lola and I are fine) (and no, I still haven't gone to have coffee with the cute neighbor, mom for God's sake! What do you ask)

You were talking to your mom on the phone, what you told your mom was a "little white lie", since you were finishing getting ready to go to your coffee and dessert date with Charles and Lola, who was already dressed and looked like a cute little princess. You and Charles had been talking for several weeks by text and so on, he even sometimes stopped by your apartment before going to his, Lola likes his company, it's very fun for you to see the two of them interact. While you finish putting some of Lola's things in your bag, the door rings.

“Mami te llamo luego, sí? Te quiero mucho, bendición!” You say hanging up the call as you walk to the door. (Mommy, I'll call you later, okay? I love you so much, blessing!)

When you open the door you find a smiling Charles holding a bouquet of lilies, he was wearing his glasses and was dressed very casually but a little elegant at the same time, Lola came up behind you and smiled when she saw Charles.

“Hello there, señoritas! Ready for our afternoon of coffee and good desserts?” He says and you smile when you hear him speak Spanish, even if it's just a little bit. “These are for you y/n! I hope you like them, I think they are pretty just like you.” He says in a whisper and you blush when you hear his words. (ladies)

You take the bouquet of lilies from his hands and smile at his cute but meaningful gesture.

“Hello Charlie! Aww, you didn't have to do it.” You say as you place the bouquet in a vase, Lola looks at the bouquet curiously. “Mira mi amor, son unas flores muy lindas, no lo crees?” you say softly to Lola and she smiles. (Look my love, they are very pretty flowers, don't you think?)

“Flores! Dindas!” Lola says happy (flowers! cute!)

Charles smiles as he sees you two speaking in Spanish, a warm and cozy feeling is present in his chest.

“I guess you both liked the flowers!” He says smiling and with his cheeks red. “So let's go? Those desserts await us!” He says quite enthusiastically and Lola giggles, you close the door to your apartment and walk with them down the hallway.

He linked his arm with yours and you carried Lola with your other arm, to be honest, it looked like an image straight out of a movie, but that made you happy.

***

The three of you sat at a table a little far away from the crowd, but it had a nice view. You ordered an espresso and a pain au chocolat, you also ordered the same thing for Lola, only instead of the espresso you ordered her a strawberry milkshake in children's size. And Charles ordered a cappuccino with a small strawberry pie.

Charles's company was quite nice and comfortable, it was as if there had always been a place for him in yours and Lola's life and also a place for the two of you in his.

He looks at Lola while she drinks her milkshake and smiles. “Lola looks so pretty and cute!” He says as he strokes Lola's hair and she smiles. “You know? From what little I have seen I can say that you are a really good mom.” He says in a whisper and you smile slightly.

You look at him, finishing your pain au chocolat and feeding Lola with hers. “Thank you... Sometimes it's hard, especially when it's just the two of us, this thing about being a mother and father at the same time is... Complicated, but satisfying in a way.” You say as you let out a light sigh.

“I wouldn't want to bother you with this, but... Why did you move here? You two alone, venturing to the other side of the world.” He asks softly, he doesn't want to invade your privacy or bother you.

You nod shyly. “Well... It was something complicated for both of us back in Miami, but I think it has been worth it so far.” you say while you look at Lola and you look back at him. “You see, her "dad" didn't want kids and his most logical solution was to leave me after four years together, to be honest my father almost killed him...” You say and let out a small chuckle. “I had an apartment and I lived there while I was pregnant, after having Lola my ex wanted to come back and threatened me multiple times, which is not very nice as a first-time mother.” You sighed. “When Lola was 6 months old I decided to return to my parents' house.” you say looking at your little girl. “Ese desgraciado maldito.” You mumbled in spanish. “We decided to move here because I got a good job offer as a freelancer in a good business here... and to escape from my ex's harassment, to be honest.” you giggled shyly. (that damned bastard)

He looked at you in shock, he never thought someone could do something like that. “Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you.” he said softly. “But you two are so amazing and cool! And, well, it's his loss at the end of the day.” He says and you smile a little.

“You couldn't have said it better Charles.”

Lola smiles and stretches her little hands towards Charles's strawberry pie, he smiles as he sees her stretch out her little hands towards him.

“Fresas!” Lola says animated and happy. (strawberries!)

“Mi cielo pero si acabaste de comer tu pain au chocolat! Let Charlie eat his pie, okay?” You say a little blushing at the almost embarrassing moment that Lola puts you through. (My dear but you just ate your pain au chocolat)

Charles giggled at Lola's antics and your words. “You know, it's okay! I have no problem giving you guys some of the pie... At the end of the day, it is to share with you!” he smiles and blushed.

Then he cut a little of the pie into three equal pieces for the three of you, you just smile at his cute gesture towards the two of you, Lola smiles and takes her spoon to start eating the piece of pie, she looks very happy while eating the delicious dessert, you took a spoonful and the sweet and fresh taste of the strawberries invaded your mouth, you closed your eyes happily, savoring the pie. Charles smiled when he saw your reaction, he thought it was super cute and sweet.

Between the two of you you've shared a few glances while talking about totally mundane and simple things, even though he may have all the money in the world for you he's a pretty down to earth guy and you appreciate that.

***

After having gone to a small park where Lola played a lot on slides and trampolines, the three of you went back to the building with satisfied and somewhat tired smiles on your faces.

“Come here my honey, let me carry you, okay?” You tell Lola as you try to pick her up, but she refuses. “Oh, don't you want me to carry you inside?” you ask her softly.

She looked at the green-eyed boy who was standing next to you with a smile on his face. “Chaaa! 'ould you carry me? Pweasee...” she said and Charles looked at you as if asking your permission to do so, you just nodded at him.

“Can I?” he asked shyly and you nod again.

“Yup, you can carry her inside. I don't have a problem with that.” you said timidly and he approached you to bend down and take Lola in his arms and walk into the building.

For you it was a super cute image, it was as if it had happened before, as if all the pieces fit together, as if he were the missing piece of the puzzle. You smiled as you walked a few steps behind them, you had a strange feeling in your chest, a feeling of belonging, something you hadn't felt in recent months and in the last three years, Lola looked quite comfortable in the green-eyed man's arms while they talked about... You don't know, maybe they talk about superheroes or princesses? You have no idea, but the smile on your girl's face is inexplicable.

When you reach your apartment floor he lowers Lola to the ground, but she didn't want to get out of his arms.

“Noooo, I don't wanna go in!” Lola says, hiding her face on his shoulder.

You unlock the door, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Maybe she wants a piggyback ride all the way in?” You say, letting out a small giggle and he blushes.

Charles turns, a playful glint in his eyes. “Is that true, little princess? Well, hold on tight, we have an adventure.” he whispers softly at Lola and she had a bright smile.

He ducks through the doorway, carrying a giggling Lola into your apartment. You follow, a warm feeling blossoming in your chest. The door shuts behind you with a soft click, and Charles carefully navigates the small hallway, Lola clinging to his back like a happy koala, you can't help but laugh as you watch them.

“Alright, superhero princess, your chambers await!” you say towards Lola.

Lola throws her head back and lets out a peal of laughter. Charles reaches her bedroom door, a hint of shyness creeping into his smile. “Is this the secret superhero lair?”

Lola nods vigorously. “Yes! But, shh, it's a secret, 'kay?”

You smile at your little girl. “Our little secret, superhero. Now, how about we get you out of your superhero suit? Bed time awaits.”

You reach out and gently take Lola's hand, ready to help her down. But Lola hesitates, her eyes flickering between you and Charles.

“Can Charl tuck me in tonight, Mommy?” she asked softly.

The unexpected request catches you off guard. A warmth spreads through your chest, a surprising mix of shyness and something deeper. You glance at Charles, his gaze warm and understanding.

“Would you like that, y/n?” You meet his eyes, a silent question hanging in the air. Would it be okay? Would it be crossing a line? Charles seems to sense your hesitation. “Of course, it's entirely up to you... Just thought maybe it would be nice for Lola to have a superhero story for bedtime.” he smiles reassuringly.

You look back at Lola, her eyes pleading with a hope you can't deny. Maybe, you think, just this once.

“Alright, superhero. But only because you saved the day from tantrums.” you say while smiling softly.

Lola's face breaks into a wide grin. “Yay! Thank you, Charl! Thank you, Mami!”

You help Charles lower Lola to the floor, watching as he scoops her up again into a hug. A comfortable silence settles between you as he walks towards the room, the warmth of his presence lingering in the air.

***

Charles stands by the bed, holding a squirming Lola as you pull out a pair of fluffy pajamas decorated with stars. You manage to wrestle her arms into the sleeves, Charles chuckling as Lola tries to escape.

“Alright, superhero princess, time to transform back into your regular self!” you say smiling.

Lola lets out a dramatic sigh, then allows herself to be pulled into the soft fabric. Charles gently helps with the buttons, his fingers brushing against yours briefly. A spark of electricity shoots up your arm, making you blush.

“There you go, little superhero. All ready for your mission to dreamland!” he smiled gently at Lola.

Lola snuggles into the bed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “But before I go, I need story! About a princess! Superhero!” she giggles softly.

You exchange a glance with Charles. “Well, how about we make one up together? Let's see, uhm... Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a brave princess named...” you chuckled.

You pause, looking at Charles for inspiration. He shrugs playfully. “Hmmm... Princess Lola! The bravest, strongest princess in the whole kingdom... But even princesses have problems sometimes, right Lola?”

Lola nods vigorously, sucking her thumb thoughtfully.

“One day, a terrible monster called Bedtime snuck into the kingdom! It made everyone feel sleepy and grumpy, and wouldn't let them have any fun!”

Lola gasps, her eyes wide. You continue, weaving a tale of Princess Lola's bravery as she confronts the monster Bedtime. Charles adds details, giving the monster a ticklish weakness and Princess Lola a magical cape that grants her super snuggles.

As the story unfolds, the tension in the room gradually melts away. Warm light bathes the room from a bedside lamp, casting dancing shadows on the walls. Lola's eyelids begin to droop, her thumb slipping out of her mouth.

With a flourish, you reach the climax. Princess Lola defeats the monster Bedtime with a flurry of super snuggles, restoring peace and good sleep to the kingdom.

“And so, Princess Lola learned that even the bravest heroes need their rest. Sweet dreams, little one.” he whispered softly.

Lola yawns, a tiny smile playing on her lips.

“Thank you, superhero... Charl... Night night mama!” she mumbles drowsily.

“Buenas noches mi niña... Have sweet dreams! I love you so much!” You whisper and give her a kiss on her forehead. (good night my girl)

Her eyes flutter shut, and her breathing slows to a gentle rhythm. You and Charles exchange a tired smile.

“Looks like our superhero princess is out for the night.” you whispered at him.

Charles nods, his gaze lingering on Lola's peaceful face. A comfortable silence settles between you, filled with a sense of shared accomplishment.

The silence stretches after Lola drifts off to sleep, a comfortable quiet that feels different from the usual solitude of evenings. Lola's soft breaths filled the space, a gentle counterpoint to the sudden tension between you and Charles. His gaze flickers from your daughter's sleeping form to your face, his eyes holding a warmth that sends shivers down your spine, a newfound appreciation for this unexpected moment.

There's a beat of silence, thick with unspoken emotions. You clear your throat, about to suggest to head out of her room, when Charles speaks, his voice barely a whisper.

“She's incredible, isn't she?”

You nod, a lump forming in your throat. “She really is...” you say softly.

He takes a step closer, his presence filling the space beside you. You can smell his cologne, a now familiar scent that makes your heart beat faster.

“Thank you for letting me be a part of this... For letting me be a part of both of your lives this few weeks.”

His words hang in the air, a silent confession of his growing feelings. You meet his gaze, your own filled with a mixture of gratitude and something deeper.

“Thank you for being here, Charles.” you say with your voice barely above a whisper.

The distance between you shrinks further. His hand reaches out, brushing a stray hair from your cheek. His touch sends a jolt through you, a rush of electricity that makes your breath catch.

Charles leans in slowly, his eyes searching yours, you don't pull away... Instead, you find yourself leaning in too, drawn to him by a force you can't explain.

The kiss is soft, a gentle exploration at first. His lips are warm and tender, sending shivers down your spine. It's a kiss filled with unspoken emotions: gratitude, affection, and, you might say, a little hint of something more.

You pull back slightly, your cheeks flushed. Charles's eyes hold a question, a silent plea for permission. You hesitate for a moment, then a small smile graces your lips.

“Maybe she doesn't need to be the only one with a superhero story tonight...” you whisper as a shy smile graces your face.

The air crackles with unspoken possibilities. Charles's smile widens, his eyes shining with a newfound joy. He leans back in, and the kiss deepens a little bit, filled with a passion you haven't felt in a long long time. You smile halfway through the kiss and in a rather cliché way, you feel content and happy with everything that is happening in your life since perhaps this was what you needed. A breath of fresh air in your life and in Lola's.

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 1

I am finally ready to show you all the Sugar Baby!Steve/Sugar Daddy!Eddie fic I've been working on. I'm not sure how long it will go, but Steve's going to go on a journey with this one.

But I feel I need to go into the title of this fic a bit, because I feel it’s important to talk about before starting the story.

The Caged Bird Still Sings, because they are well taken care of and has every need met. They will never starve, or thirst or get too hot or cold, they will be cared for if sick or injured. The only price is the cage.

It’s like that owl that got released from that zoo by well-meaning ‘animal advocates’ that died by flying into a high rise building. If it had still been in the zoo it would have lived for another thirty years.

So in this story Steve starts off thinking that Eddie’s love and attention is only temporary and is actively trying to get a job, make money of his own, and move out and away from needing Eddie’s money and gifts to survive so that they can be on more even footing.

But as the story goes on and he can’t get work and he meets Robin, he slips into this melancholy for awhile thinking that if he wants to continue living like this there has to be some sort of trade and thinks it’s about sex.

Which is why Eddie refuses to have sex with him during that time. He wants them to be couple and knows that Steve isn’t there yet.

It’s only at the end when Steve realizes this isn’t temporary, that Eddie isn’t just trying to buy sex from him, that he settles into being taken care of. By Robin, by Eddie, by the rest of the band. Not because they don’t think he can take care of himself but because they love him.

There will be only two sex scenes in this. Once at the beginning before the Arrangement, and once at the end when they are both on the same page and they consummate their relationship.

If you think this isn’t your cup of tea, no problem. Let me know in the comments, tags, DMs, or even asks (I’ll answer privately) and I’ll take you off the list. I already have one that has told me upfront that they aren’t interested and won’t be tagged.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little story.

~

Steve sat in his Bimmer, head hung low between his shoulders, tears streaming down his face. Everything he owned was in the trunk and backseat of the car. It was his car. The title had been signed over to him when he turned eighteen.

He was still wearing the stupid little green vest and name tag that bore the name Family Video. A place he no longer worked. He’d have to return them to the store in the morning, but for now, it created the illusion of still being employed.

When he woke up yesterday morning, he had three things; a home, a job, and a boyfriend. And now he didn’t have any of that shit.

All because last night his parents came home to find him and Tommy on the sofa with their hands in each other’s pants. Leaving no doubt about what they were doing.

They kicked Steve out mere minutes after Tommy fled, his father screaming that he wouldn’t have a dirty whoring fag in his house. All while his mother cried about losing her baby to those ‘horrid queers’.

Steve had called around to his friends looking for a place to spend the night, but they were all too afraid of his dad. His father roared with laughter each time a friend turned him down.

“They don’t want a dirty fag in their house either,” he said with a sneer as Steve hung up on his last hope.

“Now get the hell out of my house.”

Steve did as he was told and spent the night in his car in the parking of Family Video. When it came time to open the store, he grabbed his clothes and work vest and got changed in the bathroom.

By noon, his life was over. Keith had sat him down in his office and told him that due to morality clause that Steve had violated, he would no longer be working at Family Video. He handed Steve his last check and told him he had to return the vest cleaned with his badge by tomorrow or he would be forced to pay for them.

Steve cashed the check. It wasn’t much as it was only the beginning of the new pay period and he had barely worked eight hours before he had been fired.

He had some money in his savings account, another thing that had been signed over to him when he turned eighteen. But not enough for a hotel. So he went to the bank and closed out the account. All total it was only fifty bucks. That might get him a night at a cheap motel, but nothing past that. He would be homeless, penniless, and friendless if he tried.

But there was another way to get a warm place to stay at least for the night without spending everything he had.

He got dressed up in the sluttiest outfit he had. He pulled on tight leather black pants and yellow shirt that barely grazed the top of his belly button. He put on a little eyeliner and mascara, then he added strawberry lip balm to make his lips pop.

Steve opened his wallet and pulled out his fake ID. The one he got when he was sixteen off his cousin.

They looked close enough to be brothers and Scott was easy to change to Steve and ta da! He put it in front of his actual ID and drove out to the Hideout.

He parked far enough away from the bar so people wouldn’t see all his stuff in the back and then walked up to the line. He was so focused on getting in that he missed all the signs.

The lack of variety in clothes from those in the line, the bouncer asking for a high cover charge, higher than normal, and the most glaring? The great big fucking stage setup with the huge ass banner that said in bold fucking letters: CORRODED COFFIN.

Nope, it took getting a seat at the bar and the bartender straight up asking if his girlfriend was a fan of the band before Steve realized his error.

He was a prep surrounded by metal fans all there to see Corroded Coffin. Steve was familiar with them. But then again you had to be dead not to know the name of the biggest band to make out of Hawkins, metal fan or not.

Eddie Munson was older than Steve by a decade, so he was only ten when the older man took his band to LA and made it big. Which if you had listened to any of his teachers or even just anyone over forty at the time for longer than two seconds they would rant about how they never thought he would amount to anything. That making music was a pipe dream and to just accept taking his uncle’s place at the manufacturing plant on the outside of town.

He also knew that they made sure to stop and play here at the Hideout every time they did any American tour just to fuck with those assholes.

So he had really picked the worst night to have his life completely fucked over enough for him to even think about coming here to get laid. Because chances were, he wasn’t gonna. He just hoped that someone took pity on him enough to buy him his drinks so that he could shit-faced enough to endure sleeping rough again.

He ordered a dirty martini and hoped to be left alone at the very least.

~

Eddie was in the back tuning his guitar when Jeff came in shaking his head.

“What’s up, man?” he asked looking back down at his sweetheart.

“Some poor bastard wandered in on the night we perform,” Jeff said with a chuckle.

Eddie raised his head and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Come here, come here,” Jeff said, waving him over.

Eddie set his guitar down and walked over. Jeff pointed at the guy at the bar. Bright yellow shirt and shiny leather pants.

“Ooh...” he said with a wince. “Poor guy. Probably had a shit day and wanted to blow off some steam and now his day is just going to get worse.”

Jeff nodded. “Yeah, I’m half tempted to at least buy the guy a drink for the sheer fact he fucking stayed. The balls on that dude.”

Eddie watched as the guy fondled the stem of his glass. He licked his lips slowly.

“Oh no,” Jeff said, face palming. “I know that look. And absolutely fucking not. He looks super young, Ed.”

Eddie just shrugged. “He’s at least twenty-one, otherwise he wouldn’t have made it past Monty.”

Jeff raised his head and blinked at him for a moment. Monty was a good bouncer who could spot a fake a mile away.

“Yeah, okay,” he huffed. “Objection retracted.”

Eddie clapped his hands together and rubbed them. “Tell Chrissy to start a tab for this guy and have it be in my name and to put the word out that if anyone is seen harassing him will get kicked out.”

Jeff sighed but did as he was told. Eddie sat back down and began tuning his guitar again. He thought tonight was going to blow, but a little yellow canary just made things a hell of a lot more interesting.

~

Steve was sitting at the bar nursing his one drink for the evening and keeping his head down when a perky blonde slid up next to him.

“I need five bottles of Miller,” she told the bartender and then turned and gave Steve a once over. “And something for the fine gentleman here.”

Steve turned to look at her. Her hair was actually closer to red than blonde but she was cute in a preppy cheerleader kind of way.

“All these going on the same tab?” the bartender asked, handing her the five unopened beers.

She smiled up at him. “Yep! And all his drinks, too. All night. Whatever he wants.”

The bartender raised an eyebrow and then looked over Steve up and down. “God damn him. He’s doing it again?”

The woman just giggled and winked at Steve before taking her prizes with her.

Steve wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth so downed his drink and ordered a Tequila Sunrise to replace it.

But curiosity won out. “Do I want to know what that was about?”

The bartender chuckled and shook his head fondly.

Steve thought about saying something bitchy, but he really wanted his drinks for free and poking the bear was not a plan if he wanted that to happen, so kept his mouth shut.

The band came out and Steve knew he was in trouble. He objectively knew what the band looked like and vaguely knew who was who even. But all that blew out the fucking window in the face of Eddie Munson in the flesh.

Tight pants, leather jacket, shredded t-shirt, combat boots, and his hair whipping back and forth?

God, Steve was instantly horny and just as hard. He shifted in his pants and prayed that the tight pants kept his dick from showing too much. Otherwise, this was going be a very awkward evening.

He was listening to the band and bobbing along to the music when some dude over fifty came up to him.

“Name three songs off their third album,” he growled.

Steve blinked at him for a moment and then raised one eyebrow. “Dude, I’m just here for the booze. I’ve had a shit day just want to relax.”

“So you’re some townie who thinks that because this your fucked up hell hole that you can just take the spot of some real fan who wanted to see them more than you?”

Steve really didn’t know how to answer that. Because, yeah. That’s exactly what he thought.

“It’s not that serious,” Steve said, turning back to his drink. “They’re playing in both Indy and Bloomington. They can see them there instead of this dimly lit bar.” He mouthed ‘sorry’ to the bartender, who shrugged and tried to hide his smile.

“And how would you know that, asshole?” the guy growled.

Steve sighed and pointed to the sign behind the bar listing Corroded Coffin’s tour dates.

The guy whipped his head to look at the sign but before he could say anything else, Monty came up to the guy and quietly ushered him away, whispering furiously as the guy’s face paled.

The bartender shook his head. “These dudes never learn.”

Steve took a sip of his drink and set it down. “What’s that?”

“That the guys,” he pointed to the stage and Steve looked over his shoulder at the band kicking it on stage, he nodded, “don’t like it when fans try and gate keep. They can’t do jack shit at larger venues but place like this? They absolutely refuse to let that kind of shit go on.”

Steve looked over his shoulder just in time to catch Eddie winking at him. He blushed and turned bright red.

The bartender laughed before he moved on to take another order.

~

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

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8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33

[httpsserene]

𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝟏 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝟲: 𝗴𝗲𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 | 𝘃𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲 & 𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗲𝘆𝘀/𝗯𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: george has created a serious problem. you two have been dating for over three years, and he fed from you the first time about three months ago. the problem lies within the fact that he conditioned you to orgasm every time he used you as his glorified high-class wine bottle. on second thought, that’s a pretty good problem to have; his thirst is sated, and yours is as well. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. not beta read. vampires. dubcon (from the inherent plot). safe, sane, and consensual though. coming untouched. no penetrative sex. implied sex. blood drinking. biting. mention of multiple orgasms. unnecessary world building. the grid & mercedes knows about george being a vampire. hickeys/love bites. bruises. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 4k words. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: george russell x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: prey • the neighborhood

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: i guess i got too into the plot and lost myself in the exposition. i was originally going to delete the beginning ramblings of setting the scene and what not, but this would be like 500 words if i did that. for some reason, the entire grid knows george is a vampire? i couldn’t find the brainpower to explain who he’s hiding it from or how that would work in f1. the kink is more of the inherent tension from drinking somebodies blood. lol, anyways have fun reading 🫶🏽

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cross-posted on my ao3, htppsss

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george had gotten enough schooling to learn what classical conditioning is. pavlov conditioned dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell ringing; a conditioned response. george may have done the same thing to you–he made the mistake of making sure you orgasm as he bites and drinks from you. now every time he feeds from you, you cum, even if there’s no sexual build-up at all; it could be the most bland feeding session and the minute his venom enters your bloodstream, you can’t fight it—he’s pavlov-ed his girlfriend. he should’ve never allowed himself to feed from you.

when george first met you, he was enamored with you from the start. after every morning run, he would end at a local coffee shop and you would already be cozied up in a corner seat working away on your computer. you smelled delectable, george quickly picked up on that. he was thankful the barista had already memorized his usual order, because he really wouldn’t have enjoyed explaining why his canines had elongated into fangs. he couldn’t handle the way your blood was calling to him and left the coffee shop as soon as he got his drink, running into several people on the way out. you would be in the coffee shop on two out of the three days he came in, and he would be a serious hazard to any customer who came in during the five minutes he was there. it was like this for two months and twelve days (not that he was counting or anything), until you weren’t in your seat one day. george sighed in relief, shoulders relaxing and the fixed grimace in anticipation sliding off his face—what he didn’t expect to feel is disappointment at the lack of your appearance and addicting scent. he dismisses the emotions, convincing himself that he’s just used to the constant repression of his instincts around you. he even takes the time to engage in small talk with the baristas; two months ago he was well-invested into their lives, he has a lot of catching up to do. he allows himself to be forced into a seat at the counter to drink his coffee and indulge in a few pastries that are definitely breaking his diet. it’s an off day for him, his only plans are to stream in the evening with the usual quartet, so he can afford to dine in this morning…and indulge in catching up on the coffee shop gossip, he’s only a man, alright?

george is halfway through his cup of coffee and laughing along to a story about how this adorable kid tried to buy hot chocolate with monopoly money when the entrance door jingles open. he chokes on his sip of coffee, almost spraying it over the counter in surprise as you walk up to the counter. he turns to look at you ordering at the register, to confirm he’s not imagining your presence and—you look amazing. you’re wearing flared black trousers with a short-sleeved, white, collared shirt tucked into them, elegant gold jewelry accented against your brown skin—you’ve dressed up today. it’s different from the usual hoodie and headphones george sees you wearing in that corner nook of yours; at least that’s his excuse for why he ends up staring you down. after finishing your order, you head towards your usual seat and end up making direct eye contact with george, because the universe hates him. he sees your attempt at a polite smile and his cheeks burn red at being caught, and jerks his head forward breaking his stare. he hears you continue to walk past him, and the barista stares at him disbelievingly, “mate…you fumbled that.” george stutters through a denial, but then he hears your footsteps stop—and he knows you haven’t reached the corner seat yet. he picks up on the sound of you turning on your heels and heading back in his direction, and he drops his head into his hands, resigned. 

“ah! someone’s taken your seat today,” the barista in front of george calls out to you—george narrows his eyes at the man in warning, “come sit at the counter then; you can tell me what you’re all fancied-up for.” the barista glances at george with a smirk, and he swears this may be the first time he bleeds a human dry.

you laugh and sit at the counter, one seat in between you and george. and george sighs in relief for the second time today; you’re wearing perfume and it taints the smell of your blood, enough for him to not start salivating, at least. its silent for a minute, and george can feel your awkwardness radiating. 

“so…” you question teasingly, “not in a rush today, then?”

george turns to look at you, shocked that you’re even talking to him—he never figured he’d be in a conversation with you. while your voice may have been teasing, your eyes are soft, warmed with kindness, and george melts. he manages to muster a tease back in your direction, “no, not today. but, look at you—in business casual attire, i was starting to believe you only knew how to dress in sweatshirts?”

you roll your eyes at him, and a smirk replaces your painfully polite smile, “ah? today must’ve not been the only day you’ve been staring at me, if you’re so familiar with how i dress…even though we’ve never spoken to each other before.” george’s mouth drops open at you checking him, and he can hear both baristas giggling behind the counter. and at that moment, george is pretty sure he fell in love with you right then—even though he didn’t have the balls to ask you out for another month and a half. 

for those weeks, every time george came to the cafe, you would wave him over to your table with a bright grin and invite him to sit down across from you. even on days when he really couldn’t afford to be late, he’d find himself sitting down to chat with you. instead of being early to zoom meetings with the mercedes team, he started being on-time, often enough for lewis and toto to comment on it. his only response to their gentle prodding at the change in his behavior being, “i added another mile to my morning run,” when he really was spending those minutes talking to you after his run. after he built up the courage to ask for your number (platonically, of course), he would show up to the driver’s briefings a few minutes late, rushing in yet tapping away on his phone struggling to hide the smile on his face. for all of his superior senses, he doesn’t notice how his grid mates stare at him like he’s lost his mind; eventually, one of the officials calls him out when he glances down at the notifications popping up on his phone screen for the fourth time in five minutes, “mr. russell, i am sure that whatever you find so interesting on your phone can’t be more important than our discussion about track conditions, can it?”

george flushed red (he knew he shouldn’t have fed until later) and stumbled through an apology. after the briefing ends, the drivers start teasing him for being ‘so unprofessional,’ and lewis doesn’t help when he reveals how george has started being late to mercedes team meetings, too. charles pretends to faint, alex gasps in horror, and lando’s eyes light up at the opportunity to be a gremlin.

“boysboysboys,” lando grins, gathering everyone’s attention, “i think it’s finally happened.”

george sighed, over the dramatics already, “what’s happened, lando?”

“you’ve managed to get yourself a girlfriend!” lando shrieks, his high-pitched laughter hurting george’s ears.

george flusters, and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, “she’s not my girlfriend!” and, he’s only made it worse. 

alex’s eyes widen, pointing at george in shock, “oh my god—so you are talking to a girl!” george groans and spins on his feet to leave the room, ignoring the jibes and teases of the grown men behind him. 

later that night, his hotel room is infiltrated by almost half the grid (including fernando, for some reason), all seeming to rally behind their common goal of getting george to ask you on an actual date. they debase all of george’s points about why he shouldn’t ask you out—the main point being that he’s a fucking vampire—and ask him the one question that he’s been refusing to acknowledge, “you can smell how she feels—does she smell like she likes you?”

george hisses at them half-heartedly, more like a frazzled kitten than a terrifying monster, “yes, i’m already aware that she’s interested in me—that’s the problem! i’ve already led her on this whole time, and she doesn’t know that she has a crush on an undead, immortal, vampire!” the room quiets at his outburst, and he can only groan and drop his head into his hands. 

“so just tell her,” max states bluntly, not looking away from the fifa game he’s beating charles’ ass in. george stares at max, appalled.

“let her make the decision for herself, right?” max starts, pausing the game to look at george, “for some bizarre reason she likes you for who you are,” george scoffs, “so, just tell her from the jump—you’ve already led her on enough, so give her the opportunity to decide whether or not if she should date your lame ass.”

the vampire stares at max disbelievingly, “that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” 

the red bull driver shrugs, ears turning red under the surprised stares in the room, and quickly un-pauses the game and scores on charles. the monegasque screams dramatically, and the tense air is broken. george shakily sighs, anxious, and pulls out his phone to ask you on a date. originally, he was thinking about asking you through a text, but with almost every driver in the room disapproving of any way he goes about wording it, he bares his fangs at them, and steps out of his own room, to call you. 

the phone doesn’t even complete the first ring before you pick up, and a pleasant, “hi, georgieeee,” slips from your mouth; he can hear how you’re smiling through the phone. he banters with you for a minute, listening to how you're singing praises about his performance even though the actual race isn’t for another day. when the conversation dies down, he blurts out the question, “do you want to go on a—“

“i would love to go on a date with you!” you cut him off, eagerly, “i mean–sorry, yes. i would like to go out with you.” george laughs, relieved and comforted by the fact that you’re as gone for him as he is for you. he can’t even bring himself to be mad when he hears the men in his room raucously cheer.

and when george took you out for brunch to the same cafe, ignoring the baristas’ proud expressions, he realized he had nothing to worry about. the conversation flowed easily, he made you laugh and you made him laugh, and most importantly, he didn't think about draining you dry like a caprisun. you’ve ditched the cozy outfits and dressed up again—dressed up for him—and george is out of his running attire and fancied up; and you make a off-hand comment about how unnatural this feels, and george is reminded of the one important thing he was supposed to tell you. time has flown by so quickly while the two of you were hidden away in your preferred corner seat, and it’s become mid-afternoon. george surveys the surroundings briefly and is shocked to find that it’s only the two of you, and the baristas in the cafe; it’s the perfect time to tell you. 

when george states that he’s a vampire, you obviously think he’s joking, “well, you’re not burning in the sunlight, georgie–so i don’t believe you! i am afraid that if this is a kink of yours, i don’t see a second date in the future.” he tries to smile at your joke but it ends up as more of a grimace, and he exposes his fangs for you to see. he hears the breath catch in your throat, sees your eyes widening in shock, blown-out pupils shrinking in fear, hears your heart beginning to race in your chest, blood rushing in your veins, and smells your scent souring.

“george russell,” you whisper yell, glancing around anxiously, “what the fuck! i believe you—you shouldn’t do that in public! what if someone else saw?!” and that’s when he realized that sure, a small amount of your fear was from the confirmation that he is a supernatural being—but mainly that, you were afraid for him. and at that point, george knew that he could allow himself to be vulnerable with you.

and after three years together, he fed from you for the first time. a lot of planning went into the initial feeding: after the end of the racing season, a trip away just for the two of you, george would satiate his thirst with his usual blood donor supply, he wouldn’t drink more than six ounces from you, you’d eat a full meal and be properly hydrated, and of course, he’d drink from you when you orgasm. the bite hurts in the beginning—george has been told many stories from feeders—and the most common distraction to the pain is a simultaneous orgasm. you were apprehensive yet extremely willing to allow george to drink from you, and told him that you trusted him completely—you even sat through his numerous clinical rundowns of the plan without complaining. 

however in the moment, george diverted from the script. instead of having you cum once, george forced three orgasms out of you and bit you on the last one. he practically mauled your neck, chest, and hickeys throughout the night, as if he was teasing himself with the indents on of his teeth on your body before he bit into you. you couldn’t figure out if it was the venom from his bite or the multiple orgasms that had you floating pleasurably. george couldn’t deny that seeing you covered in love bites and his actual fang marks didn’t provoke a hidden possessive trait in him. the love bites he left on your body would fade within a few days, the bite mark would fade in around two weeks—and you told george explicitly that if he ever wanted to feed from you again, he’d be more than welcome to do so.

the vampire always thought that he was the one who was at risk for getting addicted to your blood; his greatest fear being that he wouldn’t be able to resist sucking you dry. however, it rapidly dawned on him: you’re the one who formed an addiction.

george always made sure his thirst was properly sated with his usual blood bags before he drank from you. over three months, he’d consistently make you cum whenever he bit you, whether it was with his fingers, cock, mouth, thigh, etc. but he never quite realized that he conditioned you into cumming whenever he bit you, until the singapore grand prix.

singapore was hot. it wasn’t hell on earth like qatar, but it was still fucking hot. and then, he crashed. as he made his way back to the mercedes garage (stomping under the force of his self-deprecation), he became increasingly aware of the tingle in the back of his throat; he’s hungry, he needs blood. he ignores his race engineer asking if he needs medical attention, and asks for a ‘juicebox,’ the codeword for a blood-bag. only to find out, he had his last one yesterday after qualifying—the hotter race weekends have him draining his supply quicker than usual. the vampire whimpers, and suddenly he’s bombarded by you speeding over from the back of the garage. you’re tugging his face down to eye level, worriedly asking if he’s hurt, but george can only register how alluring your blood smells. contrary to popular vampiric-belief (if that’s a thing, he has no clue), blood does not smell sweet. it smells metallic, and the overall scent is affected by water content and ph-level; you smell velvety, and absolutely perfect to george.

the vampire briefly reassures you that he’s fine, before he grabs you by the hand and turns to toto. george begs his team principal to postpone any of his post-race interviews for as long as he can so he can get a brief feeding in with you before he loses his mind any further. toto cuts george’s pleads off immediately and allows him to do whatever he needs; the brit's temper is short enough already, if your blood can calm his mouth toto will personally send you a brand new g-wagon. 

george pulls you along to his driver’s room, slowing when he hears how you’re tripping over your feet two match his speed. he shoves the door open, but kindly guides you with a palm on the small of your back into the room, before he steps in and slams the door shut, locking it with a quickness. he speedily sits on the edge of his couch, and pulls you onto his lap, staring up at you with wide, pleading eyes.

“love,” he starts, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip, “may i drink from you? i should’ve been smarter about preserving my supply, usually i’m more careful about it, but i think i was just overager with everything this weekend. i’ll only take a small sip, just enough to hold me over until we fly back home, yeah? i mean, if you’re uncomfortable, i will not drink from you. i should be able to wait—”

you cover the vampire’s mouth with a hand, and smile softly at him, “yes, georgie, you can feed from me. the whole point of drinking from me was to have me acclimate to the feeling for rare situations like this, yes? i’m okay with it, you can take as much as you need from me.”

george stares at you for a few seconds, for some reason, he’s surprised at your easy allowance, before he’s shaken out of his stupor by you waving a hand in front of his face.

“i won’t be able to make you cum—i need to get out there as soon as possible,” george rambles out.

“ok,” you state, looking at him oddly, “i’m pretty sure i’ll be able to handle it, and if not you’ll know before i do.”

the brit asks if you’re sure one last time, before he effortlessly stands up with you in his arms, spins around and places you on the couch, sitting you where he was. the vampire kneels in front of you, and parts your legs gently, before tugging at the waistband of your pants for permission. you’re still reeling from his easy manhandling (you forget about his superior strength, he never makes it obvious), and how he fell to knees for you—the duality of his actions has you embarrassingly hot. you lift your hips up allowing george to tug off your pants, and you see firsthand how he loses his train of thought. 

when george brings you along to a race, he avoids leaving marks in a visible spots, so unfortunately for him, your neck and torso are complete bruise free; the humid weather in singapore meant that you would be wearing tank tops or cropped shirts, so he can’t risk someone seeing a smidge of a bruise on your body; they wouldn’t understand. although, george could take his fill of marking you up on your thighs. the dark skin of your inner thighs is mottled with bruises from his lips and indents of his teeth, all in various stages of healing observed by the various shades of purple they’re colored in. george slowly presses a finger into one of the marks and smirks when a strangled gasp escapes you from the pressure. if the vampire wasn’t so focused on the scent of your blood, he’d probably notice how that motion alone already had you wet.

george buries his head between your thighs, close enough that you can feel the exhales of breath from his nose over your panties. you shift, squirming away from the feeling—this is about giving george blood, which he needs for sustenance, not for you to get turned on at, you try to remind yourself.  the brit halts your movements, his hands flexing around you only slightly. you try and buck your hips away to test his grip, and you don’t move a single centimeter. you glance down, making eye-contact with your boyfriend, and the teasing smile he’s hiding behind your thigh has your heart rabbiting faster, even though you roll your eyes at him. george begins to lick and nip across your thighs searching for the best spot to pierce your skin, and you are trapped in your own mind. you’re at the mercy of an immortal being, you have no chance of fighting him off if you needed to. of course, you’re very aware that george wouldn’t lay a finger on you, but your hindbrain runs off of instincts, and it’s telling you george is a predator and you’re clearly his next meal. the adrenaline thrumming underneath your skin causes you to start breathing a little heavier and you manage to wrangle the instinctual fear away to relax under him. george startles you from your thoughts when his cold hand leads yours to rest on the nape of his neck, and he pauses when he feels you jump underneath him. 

“hey, you can still say ‘no’ if you’re not ready for this yet. there’s no pressure, love,” george reassures you. the calming tone of his voice has no judgemental lilt, and his words soothe you enough to double-down with your agreement.

“thank you for doing this for me, love. as soon as we get back to the hotel, i’ll take care of you properly–i promise,” george praises you, “now, remember, this won’t take any longer than ten seconds. if you need me to stop beforehand, pinch the skin on my neck and i’ll stop, okay?”

you swallow, clearing your throat, “yes, george. can we start already? my nerves will scare me away if we wait too long.”

george nods, hands petting at your waist reassuringly, before he focuses back on your thighs. his nose tracing along your sensitive skin for a few more seconds, until he stops and nuzzles at a spot almost on the underside of your left thigh, close enough to your pussy to have the fear fade under the anticipation of pleasure. the vampire kisses at the spot three times, before he lets his fangs slide out with an audible shlick. he presses them gently against you skin for a few seconds before he bites down.

the pain isn’t from the invasion of his fangs, but from the spread of the venom. it burns as it spreads through your bloodstream; you imagine this is what boiling alive feels like. the feeling is immense but fleeting. the initial bite has always been paralyzing, but when george takes the first pull of blood, the venom must have reached your brain and taken effect, because the pain instantly switches to an immobilizing amount of pleasure. the scream that was originally building in your chest transforms into a keening moan, the burning pain no longer present.

you feel your core tightening as george continues to feast on your blood; thighs trembling in pleasure, eyes rolling back overwhelmed, and toes curling. it’s happening so quickly, quick enough that you don’t register that you’re cumming. waves of pleasure crash over you unendingly, and you’re unable to figure out why. every drag of blood george takes ruins any chance you have to think. the pleasure is so catastrophic that you don’t even register when george releases the bite. 

the vampire can only stare up at you in awe as your mouth parts, drool beginning to leak from the corner of your lips, your eyes slamming shut, and face scrunching from the force of the orgasm he ripped out of you. george soothes the bite closed with careful sweeps of his tongue, allowing you all the time you need to come back to him. he softly sucks a few more marks into the meat of your thigh before he fights himself away from cradle of your legs, brushing a kiss on your cunt over your panties.

the vampire slides his way onto the couch next to you, pulling you into his arms to allow you to shake through the aftershocks in his grasp. he presses kisses to your forehead, while he murmurs praises freely. while his mouth is running in one direction, his thoughts take a completely different turn.

he’s ruined you for any other person. he’s trained you to orgasm with a simple bite of his fangs. your body has correlated the painful spread of his venom with pleasure. george has tied you to him for the rest of your life. this is a huge fucking problem. his mind starts racing; if that’s the case he either needs to work that out of you, or he can never feed from you in situations like this again. you’ll be useless for the rest of the day, your brain has turned into jello. he needs to make sure that he manages his blood supply properly in the future, so he doesn’t have to drink from you where the media can discover how gone you are. 

george has no idea how he would go about un-training your…pleasurable…response to his bite. on second thought, george doesn’t want to change your newfound reflex. if anything, it’s like an equal exchange. the vampire satiates his thirst, and you satiate your thirst. george coos at you adoringly when he hears the near inaudible moans your breathing into his neck—yeah, he thinks you’ll agree with him when you’re aware enough to do so.

he finds himself tracing the fresh bite mark with a thumb, groaning when your hips grind against him in return. he fumbles his phone out of his pocket to tell toto he needs at least another twenty minutes.

taglist: @lorarri @soph1644 @jaydensluv @fanboyluvr @nissaimmortal @redgonerogue @hollie911 @saintwrld@buendiabebeta@butterfly-lover@lana-d3l-rey@dylan1721 @spicybagel14 @dhhdhsiavdhaj@miahgonzalez16@jjaekin @dkbj14 @f1lover55 @f1lov3r @mindless-rock@biancathecool@barnestatic@sweetpiccolo-blog@my-ylenia @zaynzierulez@reblog-princess-blog @lovingaphroditesworld @katekipshidze @darleneslane @inloveallthetime

© httpsserene 2023

[sublimetragedychopshop]

Ever think about those desperate stalker yanderes that are desperate af to get the attention of their “idgaf” darling? I think about them a lot. How the darling doesn’t even bat an eye when they wake up with company in their bed (when they KNOW they locked the door with brand new bolts) just rolling over and get ready for work with a sigh. The tired darlings who apologize to their boss in advance for that weird person that has been standing outside the (store/company building/wherever you work) saying that it’s a complicated situation. Darlings that gaze straight at the camera that they know is being pointed at them. A tired look on their face.

They are just too tired with life’s problems to asses the actual THREAT that is right in front of them (nobody should be this chill when confront with a stalker). Their work makes them unable to make themselves proper meals. Now their yandere always manages to leave nutritious lunchboxes on their counter every morning next to a plate of fresh breakfast. Their family takes most of their money, being told that darling needs to repay them back after years of raising them, which leaves them being constantly near broke. Only for lovely yan to gift them various presents all ranging from luxuries to actual necessities. Of course the sickly sweet nauseous notes the leave with the gifts are hard to read, but reader appreciates every single gift. They really couldn’t afford to be picky. Next was the crushing loneliness of a person living day to day, just trying to afford being alive but not living. The yandere constantly leaves them sticky notes with positive affirmations in their home all the time. Often texting their phone with love messages, and paragraphs and essays about how they love them so much, how no one amounts to them, if someone so much as breathes near their darling then they are as good as dead. It’s oddly comforting in a sick and lonely way.

Darlings who know this is messed up. It’s wrong and sick and NOT NORMAL. they tell themselves that they need to get rid of the yandere but know they can’t. They can’t they can’t they can’t. What are they going to do if their yandere suddenly disappears? What fucking life are they going back to? The one that made them miserable and numb? Besides it’s not like Yan actually has down any real damage to darling. They act more like a house spouse in a way, loving and caring. But so blood thirsty to the people who get close to their darling. Two sides to the same terrifying coin. Nothing that they would be able to prove to anyone. Their yandere is smart-desperate and stalkery but smart.

Darlings who give in after finding the yan in their bed after coming back home from work. It was the third night that they have seen them, not often because Yan said they would melt under your overwhelming gaze. At first they greet you with a smile and a “darling! Your back, I missed you sooo much!” It was almost loving, childish and innocent how they looked. Like you were both a real couple. Without a word you just walked to them on the bed and slumped against them. Arms wrapped around them as you took them down against the bed. Full body going limp from exhaustion. They were surprised at first, but expecting you to just do that (though that have been surprised by your reaction to most things) smiling a little they cuddled you as you just closed your eyes for a little. Relishing in how soft and nice smelling they were, how warm and comfy this position was.

Somehow this brought you to tears, silent tears streaming down your face as you stayed their emotionless. Your hand gripping their clothes to stay as close as possible. God this was fucking pathetic of you, seeking comfort from a fucking stalker? A creep?…… it didn’t matter anymore. If this person was willing to have you, better yet be so obsessed with you that they would die without you, then you would just give yourself to them.

(In the end this turned a little sad but I like it anyway!)

[jams-sims]

Anyway i've calm down, taken a couple of deep breaths and I'm ready to tackle whatever the fuck it was we all just experienced the latter half of the stream.

Tubbo is confirmed dead, he is a robot of some kind, he made another robot called Creation, creation finds the Gurdian, the guardian is Philza, Philza and Creation meet it is initially hostile from Philza end, Everything is hashed out, Creation says he must rebuild tubbo for Sunny, they go to see Tubbos body, Create says that Tubbos is missing data.

Create must find the one that killed Tubbo to get that missing Data. The data is purpose (I think, I remember them saying a couple of name but for now we are calling it purpose.) it between all of that, create says the data must be in the possession of the person who killed Tubbo. That is Richas.

We go back to spawn we meet up with people, inbetween all of that, Creation scans Richas and says he believe Richas has the missing data/know as purpose.

This is the part that is really up in the air. I don't believe creation would have any reason to lie and say Richas has something he doesn't. But because no one check it pretty much has become schroders cat.

Now it could be Richas has another items of important. He may not even have this thing/data known as purpose. Because Tubbos has been in limbo the entire time we have had this reset.

Tubbos love life is in shambles, he feels out of place in the morning crew, he doesn't have create. He was in a bad place and there is a real world where purpose is not a physical item but something that Tubbos must attain himself. It is not something he can just be given or collected in data.

The second part that crazy is the only way to bring him back is for someone to unlock create and build a super computer. The problem everyone is super broke expect for Bad. An the person who was asked and given a special name was Philza, Philza is broke monetary in the new system. He can't do anything.

WELCOME TO CAPALTISM BABY!

This is not even touching on how soul crushing it is for sunny to be left alone. Tubbo and Sunny had a big fight and now sunny alone with no one and it's heart breaking. It ironic because the one that can relate to her the most is Tallulah.

Tallulah has gone through it beat for beat. An it sad that they couldn't have talked more and Sunny anger is valid. Her hate for Richas for taking her dad away will need to be worked through but for now she is left alone go back to her house to be with Leo.

It is on top of that I'm also bring up with the seriousness of the situation. Philza went directly to the spawn point to try and break laws to get a bunny to show up. It is heart breaking to see him breaking shit and screaming out into empty air for someone to show up.

Tubbo has named Philza correctly, he is a Guardian.

[didyoulookforme]

thinking about riding Matty while his hands are tied behind his back yummy yummy monday evening thoughts

oh my god anon, thank you for this.

are you in my head? because this is something i've been wanting to chat about regarding soft subby bf matty but haven't gone around to doing a proper blurb so here are some ramblings that i hope make sense. it's just a run-on stream of consciousness thing with no formatting and no real ending. i also got too carried away so it is a longer one lol

warning: 18+, smut, reader is upset. grammatical errors, typos.

other bf matty blurbs & rambles here.

okay, so imagine you just got home from a fucking awful day of work. freaking debbie from accounting is back at it, making your job impossible and a living hell. who knows what her problem is. anyway. right away when you enter the apartment you are greeted by the scent of a delicious pasta that your dear bf matty is preparing because he's one damn good cook (it's canon for him, lol). you go to the kitchen and sit at the bar, watching as matty whips up the alfredo sauce which is your favourite. matty greets you without looking at first because he's too focused on getting the proper cheese to cream ratio for the sauce, but once he does, he knows right away that something's off.

bad day, huh?

you make some sort of confirming grunt before you rest your forehead on the cold marble countertop. because your head is down, you don't notice the sad expression on matty's face; he cares about you too much so anytime you're feeling down he cannot help but feel upset, too. he takes one last taste of the sauce (perfect!) before he pulls it off the fire and places it on a trivet. as much as he loves cooking and prepping dinner for you, he wants to make you feel better. so the pasta can wait. bless him.

he takes off his denim apron (which has a drawing of a rooster on the front, for some reason...) before heading over to your side. you feel the warm palm of his hand rub your back in the gentlest of ways while his other grabs your hand. c'mon darling. you raise your head to finally look at your surroundings again only to realize that he stove burners are off and his apron is crumpled on the countertop.

matty, what about the food, i know you like finish-

don't worry about it, love, the food will still taste good later on. let's go.

you're not one to deny him, so you get off the stool and follow his lead as he takes you over to the living room, guiding you to both to sit on the sofa.

he asks about your day as he knows talking makes you feel better in these sort of occasions but it catches him off guard (and you as well, truly) when you just start sobbing uncontrollably as you recount your day. the stress and pressure has been building in your body that all you can really do is cry out of frustration. matty instantly brings you close so you're straddling him, arms wrapped tightly around you, trying to provide some sort of comfort as the tears just stream down your face soaking the fabric of his shirt. your head is buried in the crook of his neck, giving him access to gently kiss the skin of your exposed neck, continuously whispering it's okay, it's okay.

and everything is usually okay, but this time you cannot help but feel an overwhelming mixture of anger and exhaustion. it's bad enough that you've subconsciously grabbed fistfuls of your boyfriend's curly hair, and when you realize you're doing so, you instantly jerk away, apologizing profusely while more tears streak down your face.

oh no, i'm sorry. i'm so sor--

he urgently but carefully grabs your face between his hands, bringing his forehead against yours. it's okay, it's okay. everything feels like too much right now, that not even the sensation of his gentle fingers on your face can soothe whatever is brewing inside you.

and at that moment you cannot help but kiss him. hard, fast and hungrily. he whimpers against your lips at the shock of it all, but doesn't hesitate to kiss you back, letting you take the lead and set the pace. teeth clashing against each other, you bitting at his bottom lip, shoving your tongue in his mouth constantly. it's messy and aggressive but he doesn't stop you, only pulling away to catch your breath, looking down at the crumbled fabric of his now over stretched shirt clenched in between your fingers.

seeing his dishevelled state--red swollen lips, unruly hair, wrinkled top--is enough to edge you on to continue, now focusing on leaving marks all over his neck, around the several necklaces that he wears. there's nothing gentle about it, a sharp contrast as to how softly he's holding on to your waist. you lick, bite, suck at any skin that you find, leaving behind countless bruises along the way as he moans uncontrollably underneath you. your left hand is back on his hair, pulling at it so his neck is exposed, while your right one is aimlessly trying to unbutton his pants but failing miserably. god knows you're already frustrated enough, so you just grab one of matty's hands and bring it over to the front of his jeans so he can undo the pesky button and zipper himself. once he's done, he places your palm back at the top of his pants, giving him a mumbled thank you before you slide your fingers under the fabric of his boxers.

you waste no time and start stroking his cock as fast as you can, all while you desperately kiss him leaving you both breathless once more. because of your erratic pace, it doesn't take long for matty to begin losing control. you know he's getting near his climax because of the way his legs are starting to shake and how close he pulls your body against him. however, you're too deep in whatever trance has possessed over you, that you take your hand away as to not let him finish. not yet at least.

and before he says anything about it, you get off his lap and on to your feet, dragging him up with you so you can take off his pants and underwear completely. you instruct him to remove his shirt and you swear he's never done it faster in his life. instantly your lips are clashing against each other for the millionth time that night, giving you the chance to reach behind your head and undo the white silk scarf holding up your ponytail. again, you're not entirely sure what's taken over your mind and body, but before you know it, you tie matty's wrists behind his back.

you push him down on the couch, bitting your bottom lip and silently asking him if this is alright. the fucked out expression and small smile tugging at the corner of his lips is all the confirmation you need.

please.

you take off your soaked underwear but decide to keep your floral cotton dress on because you know it's his favourite. it's the least you can do for how you've been treating him. not that he minds; it's quite the opposite in fact. with each of your knees to his sides, you straddle him for the second time that night, grabbing his cock and guiding him to your cunt before you sink down and take him all at once.

and it fucking hurts. having him inside you without any foreplay is probably a stupid choice, but part of you hopes that the pain can help take away some of the anger and resentment built up in your body not only from that day, but weeks and months prior. more tears end up streaming down your face. from the pain or anger, you don't know. probably both.

hey, hey. love are you ok-?

you cover his mouth with your hand before he can say anything else, but you look at him and nod, glassy eyes assuring him that it is okay. he returns an understanding, soft look, and that's when you finally begin to move your hips, grinding hard against his dick so you can feel every single inch of him inside you. in that instant you see his brown eyes roll to the back of his head, mumbling a fuck against the palm of your hand. you work yourself up to a steady pace, switching between grinding and moving up and down his cock to hit that spot inside you which makes you delusional.

with your fingers still over his open mouth, you can hear his muffled moans, his spit now covering the palm of your hand and dripping down his chin. it's fucking obscene sight but one that you hope you'll never forget.

making sure that his eyes are on yours, you finally take the hand off his mouth. his gaze follows as you take your soaked fingers and guide them under your dress, your high pitched moans a clear sign that you have started to rub your clit.

oh my fucking god.

he snaps his head up to look at you with the most lustful yet loving expression on his face. the adoration radiating off him is too much for you to handle and you cannot help but smile, the first time you’d done so during that whole day. there is no more pain, no more tears, just pure pleasure running through your body, washing away the frustration.

thank you.

[stanwixbuster]

jynx absolutely fascinates me as a game dev because they're like. inspiration but in the opposite way of literally everything they've ever done

jynx decided they want to make touhou-like shmups, and decided to approach this by building most patterns around extremely fast bullets relying entirely on player reaction or having already seen a pattern before, infamously the most disliked and player-antagonistic way of approaching bullet hells

jynx added a great iteration on touhou-like shmups with flash bombing, an infinitely regenerating way to clear bullets if you put yourself in active danger in contrast to the use of bombs as a safe but finite resource, and then made sure you could only use it if you aren't focusing your shots, which you spend over 90% of a touhou-like doing

jynx created "absurdly extra" stages just as a complete fuck you to the player. half of them are humanly impossible to complete

jynx's version of character development is to add more characters. jynx will drop one of the most fascinating backstories you've ever heard that has groundbreaking and sweeping impacts on len'en lore, yet somehow being entirely consistent with it, and then proceed to do literally nothing and minutes later introduce another character with one of the most fascinating backstories you've ever heard. len'en has 40+ characters and all of them have been in perpetual Big Things Are Coming hell for over half a decade

jynx has spent over an alledged 15 years working on the world and lore in mugenri and the outside world, desperately wants to share this and continually mentions the short stories and lore dumps they write, which we never see, because they have somehow convinced themself the only way to show this story is through touhou-likes, which are notable for showing "story" as an excuse for people to shoot bullets at each other

jynx treats feature creep like an arms race. there isn't a single idea they come up with that doesn't end up in a game or is planned to at a later date. len'en 4 is still technically unfinished despite it having enough paths to dwarf all the previous len'en games combined thrice over and featuring the entire cast of the series in it (i will stress again, 40+ characters), and they've promised a dlc with even more stuff to do

jynx wanted to make a mobile cafe management simulator after having made nothing but bullet hell shmups on pc, just because it sounded fun, realised their previous tools couldn't make mobile games well, realised they'd be going in entirely blind on a new tech stack, realised they'd be going in blind on a genre they have no experience with, decided to tag on a second entire game to the cafe management with a turn-based rpg, realised they also have no experience with that genre, continued anyway, learnt how to use unity from the ground up, realised the multitude of issues unity development brings, decided every single character also needed to be in this one with unique boss battles, realised the problems of having 40+ character assets and 5min+ music themes in a mobile game that very infamously is a platform you need to stick to strict asset and tech limitations, decided to stream in assets from a server, made it a live service game because it would be online and that was an obvious next step, stuck through it, totalling in five years of dev time to make a full "gacha" game that is generous beyond belief and makes them a net zero in ad revenue vs server costs

jynx iterates nothing. literally everything you see in their games is the first go and if it sucks, too bad

jynx creates all their music with default fl studio sounds and the touhou trumpet. everything's unmixed. they earnestly believe that loud = better

jynx, allegedly, "blacks out" when making music after hitting some kind of flow state, and wakes up with a complete track. like everything else, these are never iterated on

jynx wrote the entirety of len'en 4's 100,000+ word script in one week. i don't even have a funny comment for this one

jynx doesn't think len'en would fit the format of a visual novel despite the fact len'en 4 has a 100,000+ word script

jynx refuses to collab with anyone for any reason. motives unclear

jynx did three 12 hour back-to-back livestreams crunching to finish book of the cafe. literally no part of this is a good idea

jynx is like the quintessential representation of everything you shouldn't do as a game dev. they should have burnt out years ago and been remembered as nothing but a random quirky touhou ripoff that was an interesting yet janky interpretation but ultimately went nowhere and YET here we are coming in to len'ens decade anniversary

how the fuck is jynx a real person. why am i so obsessed with everything they've ever made

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/5/2024

i am going to do my absolute fucking best to stay off the internet today. also the next time i write one of these i will be goddamn thirty. yeesh.

listening

it took three hours to make a normally brisk 50-minute trip back from the airport on sunday bc there were simply so many accidents. my phone wasn't charging, i was kind of locked into the one way i actually knew how to get home, it was pouring, and the only radio station that was reliably coming through was the local dad rock station.

i don't think i've ever actually heard this song all the way through before! i have of course heard the chorus in eight billion advertisements and trailers etc, but i tuned in right at the lyrics

I was a willow last night in my dream I bent down over a clear running stream Sang you the song that I heard up above And you kept me alive with your sweet flowing love

big ren faire lady of shallott vibes.

-

reading

witch hat atelier, the first twelve volumes that are out in english anyway. let's yoink the setup from the fan wiki.

Coco, a girl living in a small village, had been dreaming of becoming a magician since little. But people who don't know how to use magic since birth are unable to become magicians, or witness the moment magic occurs. But one day, Coco accidentally saw Qifrey, a magician that was visiting the village casting a spell. Ecstatic to finally know how magic works, she tries it immediately and transforms her mother into a stone statue. With the help of Qifrey and his disciples, Coco will embark in a magical journey to save her mother.

this gets a lot of ghibli comparisons, and i get it-- there's a lot of concern about healing scars from a near-cataclysmic magical war, lots of contraptions, bucolic countryside, loving shots of food, etc. i think there is a focus on academia and cohort-building, and how networking is a profession all to itself, that we do not generally see in ghibli films. i think the comp pull should go beyond the aesthetics, as well, but ghibli is still a good comp-- the world of witch hat atelier is dangerous and can hurt or kill you, but it treats the reader's heart with the same care a ghibli movie will. things may not be happily ever after or go perfectly at all times, but there are no twists for the sake of twists, and it doesn't sneer or make fun of you for caring about a character. there are no whedonesque "well THAT happened!" moments. these characters are going to learn and grow and you will learn and grow along with them goddamnit. it is queer but incidentally queer. the folx side of the fags-folx spectrum will feel very welcome here but this is not a tenderqueer kind of gay book. characters are incidentally gay because of course they are, that's just how the world works, look at all the fullness of human expression you can encounter in your one short life, why NOT be gay

i did not expect this series to kickstart a fresh wave of grief for my own academic experience. coco leans on her cohort so much and they truly do work together to solve problems and come up with good solutions and i wish i had had that kind of astronomy experience. it's kind of cold comfort that i don't know and have never heard of a woman having a good astronomy experience.

witch hat atelier: very fun to sink into the details on a page (Kamome Shirahama knows how functional but pretty clothes work), endlessly charming veneer on a very taut game of political ethics happening in the grownups' background

-

watching

happy noirvember!!!

Another Man's Poison (1952, dir. Rapper) courtesy of Kanopy's little revolving carousel of new noir films.

An English mystery writer (Bette Davis) kills her husband, then tries to kill a man (Gary Merrill) posing as her husband.

In his review in New Statesman and Nation, Frank Hauser wrote "No one has ever accused Bette Davis of failing to rise to a good script; what this film shows is how far she can go to meet a bad one."

a plot that could only happen in a country where appearances are everything. i must agree with mr hauser and most of the critics of the time who said Huh???? to the script and basic premise. AND the ending is a little too pat. a breakneck ninety minutes filmed in three months where its stage play bones show. however i really like Bette Davis and it's so much fun to watch Bette Davis pace around an English manor house like a caged tiger.

-

playing

fallow week, i am having a consistent problem with the now five year old gaming rig overheating and once i solve that issue i am very excited to play Red Dead Redemption the original (thank you again @pasta-pardner !)

-

making

deep cleaned my entire house. drove three hundred miles this weekend to pick up my sister and her friend from the airport, go to the ren faire, come back from the ren faire, and take them back to the airport. houston delivered to me some of the worst fucking driving experiences i have ever had here. really upsetting torrential downpour for nearly an hour on a road with no shoulder to speak of.

the actual ren faire was fun! i did not realize how vital a chair or bench with a fucking back was to my rest and recovery. it was nice to go with fellow adults and not help wrangle several small children, as fun as a kid-friendly experience can be. got my overpriced gyro for the year. got my bootleg anime merch for the year. wish it hadn't rained but i feel very smug for packing enough umbrellas and ponchos.

[cattimeswithjellie]

Stream Recap, Skizzleman, 7/03/24

((Got my internet back this morning, phew! I did post a poll last night for anyone who has input on which Hermits I ought to be concentrating on recapping. Go and vote in it if you have Thoughts, or send me an ask if your thoughts are more lengthy. In the meantime, enjoy Skizzleman starting up his Attorney's Office build, hanging out with Tango, being a guinea pig for Pearl, and discussing with Chat why the fans keep making him an angel.))

4:45 Skizz opens the stream with a black screen. He greets the Chat and gives everyone an unnerving stare for several seconds. One day, he promises, he will really commit to the bit and see how long he can hold that stare just to bother chat. He thanks subs and donos and opens the game. He is standing on the highest current level of his pyramid. Skizz has taken it very easy the past two days and is feeling lazy about it. There is lots to talk about today!

9:30 Skizz flies to his base while talking about dog problems. Kevin Bubbles has been very naughty lately. Skizz is not concerned about the possibility of Doc taking revenge against him for the court case. Skizz feels lazy because all his current projects are actually doing okay right now and the holiday long weekend is coming up, so he could’ve been on the server but wasn’t. He is not going to let himself feel guilty about that, though. Instead, there is a build plan for today! Skizz flies to the shopping district and lands on Poe Poe HQ, facing the empty corner between it and the Courthouse. He is going to build an attorney’s office! He put a lot of time and effort into building the “Skizz Attorney” character he made for the Cleo v. Doc court case, put a lot of TLC into the video, got a lot of good feedback, and now he does not want it to be a one-and-done anymore. (Highlights include Skizz telling his wife that he had to spend an evening prepping his case because he was going to court the next day.)

13:00 Skizz has talked to Bdubs and Scar about adding an attorney’s office to the area where they have been building and they were enthusiastic about the idea. Skizz is nervous because he’ll be building right next to large builds by two exceptional builders. He’s going to give it a try anyway, knowing all along that there is the possibility that at some point he will tear the whole thing down, put the grass back, and just give up. It’s a possibility, but it’s better to try than not to try!

15:40 A chatter asks Skizz what his feelings are on the “Angel” portrayal of Skizz in fanart. Skizz wants to make it clear that he is very honored by all fanart, but he’s not sure where the angel thing came from. He is super-distracted by a 100-sub bomb. Chat is very excited too. He thanks subs and donos. A chatter asks about how to get their stream restarted. He tells them to ask themselves why they want to stream, and if any part of that is “I love it,” then that’s enough. Ignore everything else and do it because you love it. He especially thanks the chatter who gave many subs.

20:00 Chat reminds Skizz that he was talking about fanart. He reiterates that he loves fanart, and the angel thing is sweet, but he does not deserve to be portrayed as an angel. They don’t upset him but he likes the art better without them. He thanks more subs and donos. A chatter asks why Impulse “cheated” with Jimmy to play Among Us. Skizz pretends to be upset but he is not, he and Impulse will play Among Us again. Skizz needs shulker boxes. He goes to his portal tunnel to empty a shulker of cobblestone, but it turns out that “throwing item” is enough to trigger the skulk sensor that activates the “Sup, buddeh,” noise, which plays about 15 times. Skizz is confused at first, then starts doing it for fun. The same chatter from before gifts another 100 subs.

26:00 A chatter tells Skizz that fanartists draw Impulse as a demon as a reference to how he first joined Hermitcraft. ((In Impulse’s first episode of Season 3, he is “summoned” onto Hermitcraft by Tango, Mumbo and Xisuma for redstone shenanigans, summoning circle, chanting and all.)) Because Impulse and Skizz have a very “yin-yang” dynamic, fanartists draw Skizz as the angel of the pair. Skizz remembers seeing that somewhere before, and admits that he feels a lot better about that explanation than thinking that the fandom has ascribed something particularly angelic or ultra-good to him. He continues assembling tools and materials and is about to tell Chat his plan when he gets distracted by Chat again. A chatter called “Evilbutnice” gets assigned the nickname “EvilButt” because Skizz likes to say that. He may start using that as a nickname for his wife. Chat thinks Skizz just likes to say “butt.” He agrees and tells the story of the time his band teacher said “butt” and it was really funny.

28:00 Skizz visits the Bop & Go to repair his elytra. He needs to go dig a whole bunch of sand so he can buy acacia wood from Doc. Chat and Impulse (who is lurking in the stream) notice that Skizz did not touch the noteblock to reset Bop & Go. Impulse notes that this is obviously why the machine has not been getting reset lately. Skizz fixes that mistake. He notices a comment from one of his mods saying that Skizz never remembers and rarely reads and insists that he _just did_ remember (with some help.) Every other time he has remembered and Impulse just didn’t happen to be watching. He asks if Chat wants him to pull back the curtain on something, then decides he won’t after all.

30:20 Skizz takes off for the sand-gathering desert, thanking subs and donos on the way. A chatter tells him that the fanartists also like the creative irony of making the guy who toes the line of PG more than anybody else into the angel. Skizz likes that a lot. He arrives at the desert and finds it empty of sand, but does find some coal. He finds a little bit of sand and begins the laborious process of digging it out with an unenchanted iron shovel. He thinks he should probably just sue Doc instead. He decides to get out the diamond shovel even though it doesn’t have mending, just to spare himself and everyone else the agony. Chat informs him that Tango is looking for him.

33:00 Skizz quibbles with Chat over who is the assistant sleepmaster and who is assistant TO THE sleepmaster. He sends Tango his coords and makes plans to play Wordle later now that Pearl has made the redstone even better ((Dyeduction can now handle double-letter words!)) He will not play on stream again, cause that was BRUTAL last time. He digs some more sand and gets distracted by the existence of terracotta. Chat reminds him that Scar sells sand, and that Tango is on his way. Skizz tells the music to be cooler. A chatter suggests that Skizz set his spawn, just in case. He does so.

37:40 A wild Tango appears on the horizon! Skizz shoots at him, of course. Tango dodges and weaves, eventually coming into mic range and making it clear that he has not yet seen Skizz and is trying to get directions from his chat. Skizz pings him with the bow. Tango flies up to meet Skizz and asks what Skizz needs and if he just called Tango out here to grab a shovel and get to work. Skizz protests that his chat told him that Tango was looking for him! Tango admits that he needed to kill some time after doing lots of boring redstone on stream that day. Skizz sighs and makes his own greatest technical achievement: a skompass. Tango is happy that he finished his project, and when he goes back to his factory he will be able to see if the new chunkloaders actually work or if the whole thing has pooped itself again.

40:30 Tango asks Skizz what he’s up to out here. Skizz reveals his extremely self-destructive idea to freehand a new building live on stream between a building built by Bdubs and a building built by Scar. “Yeah, sure, what could go wrong?” Tango jokes. He points out that there’s no way Skizz is going to be happy with it. Skizz tells him he’s the worst cheerleader ever. Tango says he’d rather do redstone on stream than build on stream because with redstone it’s either right or it’s wrong, but with building it’s easy to spiral into doubt. Skizz describes himself ask the kid who throws himself into the deep end to see if he can swim. He’d rather know on the other side that he made a bad choice than not trying to make a choice at all. Tango asks if it’s time to go get beer and burgers yet. Skizz tells him not yet, he’s going to pick up Impulse later and they will meet up with Tango. They are both excited (and hungry!)

42:30 Skizz double-checks with Tango about Scar selling both sand and gravel. Tango agrees, but says he doesn’t know if Scar has any stock. Skizz takes off unceremoniously and only belatedly groups up with Tango to talk. Skizz tries to shoot Tango a few more times as they fly back to the factory. He hits once but doesn’t kill him. Tango calls him Failguy and tells him his Velocitay needs work. It’s probably just as well though, since Tango is already bummed about his new redstone not working. Tango explains the trouble he’s been having trying to turn off the factory when he leaves the chunk, and how his chunk loaders are not turning things off like they should. Skizz asks how the system can possibly know when Tango leaves. Tango takes Skizz into the basement and introduces him to Unpaid Intern, an endermite on a floor made of observers whose movement serves as a player detector. When the intern stops moving (because there is no player nearby) the system reacts. Skizz compares it to an accelerometer sensor, Tango agrees except it’s not working. Tango’s chat has ideas for him. Skizz follows Tango down into his truly inexplicable redstone workings and takes care of some coal ore he finds there while Tango is troubleshooting.

47:50 There is actually quite a bit of coal ore around, but Skizz is just the guy for the job! As he mines, he asks Tango if he wants to play Wordle live on stream. “No!” Tango says immediately. Skizz assures him that it is the worst. Skizz has to go because he’s busy and Tango needs to debug anyway. He sneaaaaaks around the corner with his bow, but Tango flies away before he can shoot and mocks him over the groupchat. Skizz insists he wasn’t actually going to do it, but that does not stop the mocking. Chat is ready to hunt Tango for sport, but in a nice and friendly way. Skizz gets slightly lost before finding his way out of Tango’s basement and heading for the sand shop. He thanks subs and donos as he goes. He admires Scar’s build, but there are no more shulkers of sand and only a few stacks of sand. Skizz attempts to turn diamonds into acacia with math, but it is too difficult and he won’t read chat. He’s just going to dig sand… except he’s running out of rockets. He’s going to coast home, then he’s going to go dig sand.

52:30 Skizz fetches his rockets and organizes his inventory, putting things away like a grownup and fetching his better shovel. He goes to put away the sand he has already collected and realizes he already has a shulker box with nineteen stacks of sand. He sighs and calls himself a brilliant, brilliant man. Chat is amused. Skizz is just going to pretend he didn’t even see anything and leave. He’s going to buy some acacia and get working. He’s played around just a little bit in Creative with some ideas and he also collects up some blackstone before heading back to the SD. As he flies, he plays the Bop Song for Chat. He flies to the wood shop and realize that Doc has raised prices on wood and it is now four stacks per stack. He also can’t figure out where to pay, a consistent problem this season for Doc. Chat helps him out. He buys four stacks of acacia wood.

58:30 The Bop Song ends and Skizz tells Chat that Iskall told him the other day that he’d listened to the Skizzlefarts song. He’d initially given up five seconds in, then went back later and realized it was a bop. Skizz will play the song for Chat later. He checks profits in his own shop, some sales, and goes to buy some mud. Stress’s shop is still a pop-up and living on borrowed time, but it does have mud in it. He buys three stacks, then realizes he has to run home for grass before he can build. Chat thinks they understand why Skizz runs out of rockets so often. He gets the grass and plays the Skizzlefarts song as he flies back.

1:02:00 While the song is playing, Skizz sets up a home base outside the courthouse and begins filling in grass to create an even build surface. Chat likes this song a lot. Mr Joker comes into Chat but Skizz is in the zone and doesn’t see. Chat is sympathetic and tells him that the best way to keep a secret from Skizz is to put it in his chat. Skizz does eventually notice him and says hello. In game chat, Pearl asks Skizz if he would like to be her guinea pig. Skizz doesn’t see the message. Chat starts yelling at him about it. Impulse is also in chat and helps. Skizz is busy singing the Skizzlefarts song acapella.

1:07:00 Impulse, being the good friend and hero to Chats everywhere that he is, logs into the game and accepts Pearl’s invitation graciously on Skizz’s behalf. Pearl is happy. Impulse logs out. Skizz is still not paying attention. Pearl thanks Impulse for trying, at least. Chat is howling with laughter and rage. Gem says that Skizz can’t read, he’s a hermit. It’s part of the invite process. Skizz finally notices something and opens game chat, asking how much he is supposed to be expected to read! Chat thinks Gem is very funny. Skizz figures out what is happening, agrees on his own behalf this time, and pauses the recording, telling Chat that this is why he can’t get anything done. Chat doesn’t care, they are happy to go see Pearl. Knowing what guinea pig duty usually entails on Hermitcraft, Skizz empties his inventory except for rockets and food and goes to find Pearl at the flower shop.

1:09:20 Skizz arrives at the flower shop and is greeted by Pearl. She thanks him for being a guinea pig today. Pearl proudly explains that she has improved the Wordle redstone to do double letters successfully. Skizz wails, both because that was his favorite part of Dyeduction and because he’s realizing that he’s about to play Wordle on stream again. She explains the new intricacies of the system (a correct guess in the right place will not lock the letter anymore, just light up the lamp so full words can still be played.) Pearl promises him that it’s an easy word today and asks if he wants to try Hard Mode (which is timed). Skizz agrees reluctantly. Chat has been wondering if Pearl just woke up or simply has not slept yet; she has changed things down here since the end of her stream so the consensus is “has not slept.” Skizz empties his inventory and collects all his letters, impressed by the colorful new textures for the letter tiles. Pearl gives him the clue that it’s a double letter word.

1:12:50 Skizz starts the game and plays “HORSE.” Pearl sings the Bop song with him as he puts the word into place. He gets no letters in the correct spot, but R and O are in the word. He decides to get really bold and play “TROTT,” disregarding the trouble sign that Pearl doesn’t know if that’s how you spell Trot. Chat has qualms about this choice. He plays it anyway and gets the R and O in the correct spot, but there are no Ts. He thinks about Crown, but there are no Ws. He thinks about Brown, but there are still no Ws. He decides to play CROAK just to get clues. He gets no letters in position, but there is an A in the word. He is now past half-time on the clock.

1:20:00 Hard Mode Dyeduction currently has no sound, so Pearl provides some happily trollsome noises as Skizz tries very hard to think of what double-letter word fits his current clues. He makes a lot of noises of his own, then guesses AROMA and slams the letters into place as fast as possible. He is correct! Everyone cheers! Pearl thinks that was a great word for a flower shop. Skizz gets his reward bundle and because he did hard mode, he gets the flower crown reward! Pearl has to show him how to use the bundle because he was not around for TCG last season. He puts on the crown and stands next to Pearl, looking very hippyish. He loves Pearl’s redstone. Pearl offers to show it to him, but first the game must be reset. He puts the letters away and resets, but has forgotten the castoff barrel letters. He suggests to Pearl that she should put up a sign to remind people, she reminds him that Hermits don’t read things. He has to agree.

1:24:00 Pearl gives Skizz the grand tour of her “noodles,” the intricate and Pearl-optimized system of redstone that powers the game. It is much bigger than last time Skizz visited the game. He has no idea what is happening or how. She shows him a test system that she built with Xisuma while working on the double letter system. Skizz may or may not understand the redstone system, but he can definitely take care of the coal lurking in Pearl’s walls. She tells him to be careful of the water behind the walls and he yelps and jumps back, but she’s not too worried since this was only a test system. Skizz still does not want to take chance. If he broke this redstone, he would probably disconnect and not come back for a month.

1:28:00 Skizz compliments Pearl again on her awesome redstone. Pearl is justifiably proud of herself, saying she didn’t really think this would be her redstone season, but it turns out it really is. Skizz decides he’s going to do something for Pearl. Pearl hopes he is going to give her some redstone. Nope, he is going to hit her up (off-stream, of course) for a new project. She asks if it’s a redstone project and he tells her of course it is. “Oh no!” Pearl replies, but she is interested. Skizz tells her it has to be perfect but then gets distracted because he has somehow gotten himself incredibly stuck inside a composter. There is a block over his head and he cannot get out, and he can’t break the block because there is redstone on it. Chat pauses in their laughing just long enough to suggest an ender pearl might be the only way out of this one. Pearl finds an “Ender-me” and gives it to him, letting him escape his ridiculous predicament. Pearl reminisces about back in the day when the first version of Wordle was basically impossible to break. This version is very breakable, in a number of ways. Tango raids into the stream, though he doesn’t appear to realize he’s done so successfully based on his chat messages.

1:31:00 Pearl thanks Skizz for his guinea pig services as Skizz recovers his inventory and eats. He assures her that he is always ready to be a guinea pig for her redstone improvements and heads out. He flies back to the law office and welcomes the raiders, then thanks subs and donos. Tango’s chat says Tango needs to do his hair to get ready for the man-date.

1:34:30 Skizz restarts recording and gets back to work! He is using path blocks to sketch out the design of the building. He starts putting down acacia blocks, then yells “Assistant Sleepmaster!” and dives into bed even as Chat responds with a score of “TO THE.” With the sun back up, he takes the acacia back down and changes the shape slightly. Chat is concerned about blocking the bridge, but Skizz wants to leave enough room for Joe to have an office too, if he wants one. He moves his design over slightly. In stream chat, Gem confirms that the bridge has plenty of room.

1:43:00 Skizz does a little terraforming to get his design the way he wants it. Chat reminds him to eat. Tango announces in game chat that he fixed his iron issue, Gem and Skizz are proud of him. Skizz starts placing acacia again. He explains his patterning idea to Chat, a checkerboard of acacia logs that will get largely moved or covered as the build progresses. He is going to need more acacia. Skizz is a scaffolding guy, so he sets some of that up as well as he works. Chat says that Joe may not need half the space since he talked on stream about possibly building a law office into his Tuff shop. Skizz acknowledges that is a possibility, but told Joe he would leave the space open until he decided where he wanted his office. Skizz does not need such a large space to build on anyway. Law offices should not be the size of courthouses!

1:53:00 Skizz shows off the first wall, which seems promising. He reminds Chat that this could all wind up being torn down, but he still is happy that he’s trying. Chat gives him suggestions on how to optimize acacia use, since he is using lots and lots of expensive logs with this design. He sings a borderline inappropriate song but stops before the bad parts, then goes and sleeps again. Chat helps him correct an alignment in one of the pillars, and wall-building continues. Chat is restive about a design defect in the second wall, Skizz eventually notices that as well, but he doesn’t have the right acacia wood to correct it.

2:03:00 Doc loves to make Skizz miserable, so it’s back to Big Wood to trade more sand for acacia. He spends the rest of his shulker of sand for three more stacks of acacia, but he’s not going to be gracious about it! Chat shakes their head over out-of-control inflation. Skizz returns, realizes that he can’t actually correct the pattern in such a way that both walls are correct. He makes the front wall correct at the expense of the tiny side wall in the hope that nobody but Chat will notice. Chat reminds him to start recording. He builds some more, sleeps again, and admits he does the assistant sleepmaster bit because he hates the darkness in Minecraft. He puts more top pillars on and wishes he had Swift Sneak, but he does not because he was MURDERED. He puts some mud brick on the ground around the building to show Chat his idea for how the ground will look. Chat likes it, and also likes the noise mud bricks makes.

2:13:00 Skizz runs into one more pattern issue on the back wall but takes Chat’s suggestion on how to get around it sneakily with a pillar. He tells a cute story about the time his daughter met her great-grandmother for the first time and immediately said “I like your face!” Chat suggests the possibility that just going and chopping acacia wood might be easier than digging dozens of stacks of sand. He misplaces a log and yells about it, then cheerfully informs new chatters that he is Skizz and he likes to freak out about NOTHING. He looks at the building and realizes that the office is too small inside. He has to knock out the back wall and build it out bigger. He sleeps again, then takes the opportunity to rip out the side as well to correct some subtle pattern troubles.

2:21:00 A chatter asks who built Skizz’s (as yet unboxed) new PC. Skizz admits it was awhile ago now and he doesn’t remember for sure, but he thinks the company was called Apex. He has more pattern trouble and blames Chat for letting him do that. It turns out that ripping out the wall did not solve the pattern problem but it also does not make it any worse. Skizz needs more wood. He heads for the desert.

2:27:00 Skizz arrives back at the desert and realizes he forgot his bed. He gets digging. It is much faster with his better shovel this time. He insists that Chat had better remind him to start recording when he gets back. He talks with Chat about the movie The Fifth Element. He finds a pillager raid and spends some sand to bury them. He forgot to bring his bow, but the sand works well enough. He talks with Chat about filming the 100th episode of the podcast. It’s going to be all about reflecting on what they’ve learned so far, and Skizz may or may not have indulged in some adult beverage during the filming. There will also be official Imp and Skizz merch coming out! Chat is excited.

2:36:00 Skizz admits that it might be faster to just chop wood at this point, but he’s already dug up all this sand! He and Impulse are both very proud of putting out 100 podcast episodes without ever missing a week. He muses that Doc is winning by making Skizz dig all this sand, and it is a situation that may require Poe Poe intervention. He finds a ruined portal and is pleased to learn that they come with a gold block, though this one’s chest has been looted. He digs quite a bit, just to make sure the chest is not hiding in secret. Chatters send him some nice messages. He talks about the nature of friendship, and how knowing that even the best friendships are subject to disagreements and distance can help you not to take people for granted. He is willing to consider the possibility that, after being friends over these 100 episodes, he and Impulse may end up being friends forever. Also, if someone wants to sue Doc again, Skizz is totally ready for it. He is also willing to be Doc’s lawyer!

2:44:00 Skizz talks about Mumbo’s pinky-training short and how funny it is. He is nearly done with his sand-digging now, but his shovel is also getting quite low. He talks with Chat about My Cousin Vinny and how great it is, and also that he has seen Rusty_Courage’s latest animatic and it is great. He packs up his shulkers and heads back for the shopping district. A chatter asks what his favorite Mel Brooks film is, it is Spaceballs.

2:48:30 Skizz repairs his shovel at the Bop N Go, but does not stay for the song. He forgets to hit the noteblock. Chat reminds him and he tells them that was a test for Chat. He gets more rockets (it has been a very rocket-heavy day) and heads back to Big Wood. A chatter asks if it’s really 111 degrees in Arizona, Skizz does not know because he hasn’t been outside in hours. A chatter’s young child asks if there will be more animated shorts, Skizz has none in the works but he wants to do more. He does Sand Math and buys twelve stacks of acacia, then heads back to the office.

2:54:10 Skizz turns the recording back on and keeps building his walls. Chat reminds him not to be late for his man-date with Tango and Impulse. While he works, he practices his elytra-bouncing technique and plays with the voice-changer. He particularly hates a song on the background track and frantically removes it. Chat declares Skizz is in a mood, he proudly declars himself “a mood.” He talks about the movie Speed and how it briefly made Young Skizz want to be a cop so he could do things like jump into buses from moving cars.

3:01:00 Skizz works on the top pattern row and goes to make his pillars. Chatters are commenting, rightly or wrongly, about pattern problems, but Skizz is in a hurry and has given up on caring about the pattern so much. He likes the sound of stripping acacia. He finishes and gets a long look with freecam, declaring that he actually does not hate it! He adds some more mud bricks to the floor for a better look at that and tells Chat he will terradorm later. Chat approves the building and says the hermits will make a builder of him yet.

3:07:50 Skizz finishes and stops recording, then corrects a few more stripping issues. He likes the whole thing in general and will be interested to see how the roof looks when it goes on. There’s a lot more to do, but he’s got to go out with some guys Chat may know, Eyem-puls-ave and Tingoo. He says he may stream tomorrow, then raids into Jojosolos and ends his stream.

[james-stark-the-writer]

5 minutes into The Conjuring 2 (no, i couldn't find Wolves At The Door streaming anywhere and i wasn't gonna pay to rent it, i do not care that much.), and this intro is already more effective and better crafted than anything in either of the first two movies because well, retrospectively i know this intro is meaningful because of the nun stuff but also, it's just really shot and edited well and it feels like there's actual narrative weight there because we know these characters now and that this is going to come around because these characters are our ways of interacting with this world. like the editing really makes this sing, of course. the way it cuts from the initial action to just cutting to the aftermath is both a good way to save on budget and heighten the sense of ethereality and otherworldliness in this space. like it's just good fucking filmmaking bc good filmmaking is often good problem solving. but also, the narrative meaning it is imbued with, both from knowing where this movie goes and from the expectations of having seen the first movie and knowing how it's opening comes back in the third act, it really makes the moment actually mean something and impact you in more than just a series of pointless shocks that actually aren't even that well made. i still really dislike the opening of The Conjuring. it's so bad and structurally nonsense just to emulate The Exorcist for no fucking reason. but i think the structure will work better here because we know the characters already and are invested in them.

anyway, adore it already, but i did glance at the runtime and i do not understand why the fuck this movie is 134 minutes jesus christ, let's see if it remotely justifies that.

also, making Lorraine the narrator is such a good choice, especially because the climax of the movie basically hangs on her. and also, i do think it's a good way of identifying the most solid aspect of the last movie, and building on it. because she was basically the thing that held that movie together outside of Patrick Wilson. also also, it further sets this universe apart from the Insidious movies, which the first one really felt derivative of. like, i still think Insidious Chapter 2 creates a better first impression, and i don't think this is going to top Insidious Chapter 2 for me, but, like, Wan's filmmaking is already off the fucking chart. so, let's see how it separates itself as an narrative. especially bc i've always loved this one the best and thought it was the peak of the universe.