#anyways. suffering. pain. please put me out of my misery.

[kalashtars]

me anytime anything vaguely inconvenient in my life happens: man. i deserve a little treat. ...what games are on sale on steam

[lively-potter]

— nepenthe ; jjk ; part one

— genre ; age gap, angst, fluff, smut, sheltered oc, ceo jungkook, mafia/gang vibes ( kinda/sorta)

— warnings ; please note that in the beginning, the oc is in an abusive home — and if this triggers you please don’t read. the oc is of age but nothing smutty will be happening for a while — but there WILL be smut. A small part of SA is in chapter two/part two.

— intro — part two ( coming soon )

— 2024 © @LivelyPotter

SOLARIS ; January 20th, 2024 Charleston, SC ***

HAD LIFE ALWAYS BEEN DISAPPOINTING?

I had always wondered what it would be like if I was like other teenagers my age. Would I smile without reason? Instead of looking glum and sullen? Would I have friends? I never had any before. Well, none that I could remember, anyway.

I liked to fantasize of what I wished my life would be like if Mama hadn't died.

I most often dreamed of a world without pain, suffering, and misery.

But didn't we all?

My life has ceased its meaning the moment Mama died ten years ago, at least in my Father's eyes.

I believed he only kept me around because of Mama. He loved her — more than life itself. And the moment her soul left her body and drifted to the heavens, I became a meaningless piece of property Father had to care for.

Not that he did.

I was tossed into the background and continued to exist. No love, no care, no words of comfort when I awoke during the night, sobbing, when the memories of what could have been flashed behind my eyelids.

Quite honestly, the only times my Father paid me an ounce of his attention was he got drunk and turned violent. Which was more often than I cared to admit.

And I couldn't even defend myself.

I had always been weak.

Weak minded and submissive when people — men or women — raised their voices at me.

My first thought would be to find the nearest corner and cower.

I was upset with myself about that fact.

Would I ever get stronger?

Hard pelts of water landed on my cheek and I whimpered, bruised wrists already starting to swell, weakly trying to rid myself of the zip ties encasing them. The shower turned on full blast constantly belted cold water onto my face and shivering body.

The stool underneath my bottom wobbled as I did so, and a squeak left my lips as I nearly fell forward into the cold shower wall. 

This was my punishment for accidentally forgetting to cook dinner tonight.

I had been so tired from picking up the tiny minuscule pieces of glass that was embedded in the living room carpet.

I had been there for hours after Father busted it over the coffee table.

Now I was paying the price for my incompetence.

Tied to a stool in the cold bathroom waiting for Father to sober up and he remembered where he put me.

Another shiver racked up and down my spine. I was so cold. When will this end?

I sniffled, limbs trembling, and looked heavenward.

I pressed my eyes shut and mumbled a prayer under my breath. Nowadays, praying was the only thing I sought comfort in.

Loud bangs were heard outside of the bathroom door causing my heart to skip a beat. The drunken slurs leaving Father's lips made fear creep down my spine.

Mama, please just let this night end.

I wished now more than ever to be sitting on the roof above my bedroom to look up at the stars and pretend Mama was right beside me, pointing out the constellations she was so fond of.

Mama loved the stars — being named after one herself — and even loved them enough to name me after the sun she admired and the heavens she knew she would be inhabiting one day.

Far sooner than any of us expected.

The images around me blurred, pulling me into a comforting memory that dialed down my fear. The memory was my favorite.

"Your name means of the sun, Solaris." Her voice was sweet and as smooth as honey. The unconditional love and care she held within her soul shined brightly as she brushed through my hair.

"Your middle name means heavenly," I heard her voice continued. The banging within the bathroom made an unconscious jerking sensation to my shoulders, but I was pulled in far too deep into my head that I didn't care about what would happen.

"And finally, our last name." My lips pulled up into a sorrowful smile as I heard her laughter, "it means evening star or evening prayer. Pretty, isn't it?"

Mama was my hiraeth – a home that I couldn't return to unless my days on earth were no more.

My body was jerked and the zip ties cut with a clumsy slice of a knife, jerking me back to reality. A cry of pain got lodged in my throat when the knife sliced the inside of my delicate wrist and bled.

"Up." Father's slurred voice commanded as he gave a kick to the stool I was tottering on. I teetered back and forth, my aching arms flailing through the air.

Pain erupted in the back of my head once my body fell back, and I hit the back of my head against the tiled walls.

"When will you stop being so fucking clumsy, girl?" Father looked down at me with cold, reprimanding, watery eyes.

I hesitantly touched the back of my head with my arm, and the cold water continued to pelt down onto my body — making my pain numb.

"...I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." my teeth chattered as I forced the words out. The only thing the water didn't numb was my fear.

"You never mean to." He rolled his eyes, his dark hair sticking up in different directions as he leaned down and jerked my body up with his hold at the top of my arm.

A cry of pain left my lips as my head smacked the glass shower door when his blunt fingers pressed purposely against the gash on my wrist.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I sobbed as I was thrown onto the floor, knees crashing against the hard marble floor. I curled into myself and pushed my soaking-wet body into the corner beside the toilet. "It was an accident."

Father only stared at me hatefully, "Shut the hell up, girl. Don't you know it doesn't do you any good to make excuses for your laziness?" He slammed his fist into the wall above my head. "Now dry yourself off and make my fucking dinner — and don't even think about getting to eat tonight after what you've done."

Throbbing erupted behind my eyelids as I pressed a tender hand to my head. I stood up on shaky feet — took a towel from the basket and dried myself off, and the tears that were rolling down my face in the process.

Sniffling, I placed a small bandaid on my wrist to stop the bleeding and stared at my scraped knees as blood beaded from the tiny cuts.

My body convulsed in shivers as I left the bathroom, freezing. Biting down on my lip, my feet padded on the floor as I took myself up to my room to take off my wet clothes.

Thumbprint bruises were already starting to form on the tops of my arms where he had grabbed me, and my injured wrists were rubbed raw, bleeding,  and had already been bruised hours ago.

"It's okay, Solaris," I whispered to myself — having no one to talk to besides myself. It brought me comfort to hear the name my mother gave me. I never heard it leave anyone's lips besides myself.

I hurriedly changed into my clothes — an old tattered dress the women next door had given me years ago, and a pair of old socks, that had more holes than I cared to admit.

It was the only other clean set of clothes I owned. Father didn't care to buy me new clothing or shoes since I never left the house and hadn't for years.

Most of the information I knew from the outside world, was from the books and magazines Father carelessly threw away. But I always managed to sneak them back to my room and hide them in my hiding place underneath my bed.

I pulled my dripping hair back in a careless bun at the nape of my neck and snuck to the kitchen — hoping to not anger Father more than he already was.

I was as quiet as a mouse as I cooked dinner, silently crying as I did so. It didn't take me as long as I expected and I was grateful for that. My fingers shook minutely while I was plating the spaghetti and garlic bread onto his plate.

"Finally," Father grunted, glaring up at me, eyes clearing and appearing more sober than before. I jumped, flinching away from him the moment he snatched the plate from my hands and set it on the table before him. He smirked at my reaction and cracked his knuckles. "Get my beer, would you?"

I jerkily nodded and flew away from his figure to grab an unopened bottle of Modelo and cracked it open with the bottle opener hanging on a magnetic hook on the fridge.

I shifted in place, picking at the cracked skin on my lips, and waited for him to dismiss me for the day.

I shivered, running my hands up and down my arms to gain warmth. I knew better than to leave without him telling me to.

The last time I did it, two years ago, I was locked outside of the hours, in the middle of the night, during the worst cold spells Charleston had ever experienced. I distinctly remember wearing this dress and no socks.

I felt myself sniffling and made myself stay quiet. I knew I was going to have a cold after being under the cold water for hours – every time this happened, I always ended up getting sick a day or two afterward.

Father slurped down the noodles and leveled me with a stare as I stood by his side, feeling my limbs turn to ice. "I expect you to have this house spotless by the time I get back tomorrow. The guys at the company are coming over to finish up a project."

I licked at my dry lips.

I don't like it when they come over. Why do they always have to come here?

"...w-why are t-they coming here, Father?" I asked meekly, immediately regretting it when my head shot up and looked at me warningly.

"Why else? We got to get that stupid fucking PowerPoint ready for the meeting before Chairman Jeon comes back from his trip."

The blood drained from my face and my blood ran cold. author's note ; ✨

The first chapter of nepenthe is here! I hope you enjoy learning more about Solaris and her story! I'm SO EXCITED to be able to write this one for you guys. it has a more intense and intricate plot than a few of my others and it'll be a little slow to get to the climax of the story. thank you for reading ✨❤️

[asmoteeth]

¡Hey Asmo! How are you doing? I hope that you have been fine (idk from which part of Argentina are you (and it's not my business to know), but I hope that you are not suffering the heatwave as much as I'm XD)....

That last wedge fanart was simply sooo good Asmo...the look of shock, but also betrayal/slash anger, was spot on *chef kiss* idk about you, but with all the fluff present, some angst too would do really nicely (this is so perfect)

My personal hc: even as an established couple, HS still feels awful for his attitude towards Wedge when he found out he was an ex-con; it's really obvious when he's in that state, because he looks like a kicked puppy and exudes misery when around Wedge. How do you think he would fix this? Mandatory cuddle time? Wedge will turn HS into a burrito when he refuses to cuddle? Kinda like this?:

*I bet he also does it when HS tries to do something stupid or when he's sleepy but doesn't want to recharge* Bonus: if you are into completing ship charts, would you be interested in doing this one? Only if you wanna ofc... You can ignore the horny level part, though (cause I know your opinion on that matter)

Anyway, ¡sending you good wishes Asmo!

THE FIRST LINES WERE A WHISPLASH DO YOU MEAN LIKE-- YOU LIVE IN ARGENTINA TOO????? THAT'S SO COOL IF THAT'S THE CASE JSNWKABSIWKWBEIQJQ WHUAAAA The heatwaves have been painful, my clasroom is a forsaken OVEN and I almost threw up from the heat today, thank you for asking (´-﹏-`；)

THANK YOU SO MUCH <333 Honestly the expression was the first thing I drew in the whole piece, I just had an idea of anger+shock+fear+sadness and had to put it down to drawing QUICKLY and then I kept going, I didn't even expect to finish it today, I'm very proud of the lighting and blurry parts doing their job at giving the drawing profundity.

I DEFINITELY FEEL LIKE HOTSHOT COULD GET THOSE GUILT TRIPPING MOMENTS, even if he changed his whole view on deceptions he was probably raised with AS SOON AS HE DISCOVERED WEDGE WAS ONE I feel the things he said ("decepticons don't count as anyone" for example, ouch) might crawl on his back from time to time, what if he needs to overcompensate for that night?

What if he makes a day FULL of silly activities Wedge enjoys? Idk, weight lifting? THEIR DUO DRAG RACE STUNT, etc.

But Hotshot keeps getting guilt trips and it shows so at some point Wedge shakes him by the shoulders like WHAT'S WRONG WHY AREN'T U HAVING FUN

Hotshot is cornered and has no other way than to explain what's bothering him, Wedge is a little mad, but over the fact that he didn't tell him in the first place, specially when it was related to him and the fact that it was eating him from the inside this much.

They decide this day should be more soft, so they just head back inside, SOMEHOW GET A BLANKET LONG ENOUGH FOR THEM (sewing???) And YES, THEY CUDDLE YOU ARE SO RIGHT (tho honestly for me their "cuddling" is napping sprawled on the conversation pit, Hotshot is def a spider hugger when sleeping I accept 0 criticism)

I'M SO SO INTO COMPLETING CHARTS, I LOVE COMPLETING CHARTS, FEEL ABSOLUTELY FREE TO SEND ME MORE PLEASE PLEASE <3333

I love the slider thingie so much omg

THANKS FOR SUCH A BIG ASK SINCE I BEEN FEELING KINDA DOWN THESE DAYS

[silver-tooth-the-panther]

Id just like to say that I love all of your demon slayer stories,it's so rare to have good stories about this,especially with a demon...so good job !👏

If it's not a bother could I request a demon slayer douma soft vore story with a reader who just wants to die(he can't feel pain, everyone hates and fears her,they often throw rocks at him and lure him into traps,(that's where douma comes in) and asks douma to kill him to put him out of his misery)

Idc if hes a demon or not,his name is Mashiro,known as Shiro,he has Long black hair and ice blue eyes,quite skinny and looks like he hasn't eaten in a while,very shy and quiet,but polite.

Id appreciate it if you did,but you don't need to,just a question...

(AAAaaHHHhhhh thank you!! I’m so glad that you love my stories! And yeah finding good demon slayer vore is really hard so I’m glad that I can supply it! I’m planning on writing a Rengoku x Giyuu vore fic from my AU so keep an eye out for that! Anyways, enjoy your fic!$

Bunny in a Snare

(A Douma Soft Vore Fanfic)

Warnings: abuse, suicidal thoughts and requests, and comfort vore

It happened again. Cruelty had chosen Mashiro once more as he was tightly constricted by a net made of wire. The wire dug into his skin, but he couldn’t care less. Mashiro couldn’t feel pain, not anymore.

Everyone acted like Mashiro was nothing more than vermin and they constantly tortured him. Whether it be by throwing rocks at him or getting him snared in a trap much like this one.

He wasn’t exactly sure why they treated him this way. Maybe it was because of his long black hair and beautiful blue eyes that made him look like a girl or maybe it was because of his family’s history as thieves. No matter the reason, the people of his village treated him like a pest.

Mashiro laid still so the wires wouldn’t cut further into him. His stomach growled as he lay there. He wanted to end it all. Mashiro had no reason to live and no one to live for.

“Oh? What’s this?” Someone said curiously. A large shadow loomed over Mashiro. He looked up to see a pale muscular man with platinum blonde hair and rainbow eyes.

“A little bunny caught in a snare? Now this is quite the surprise.” The man smiled as he looked down at Mashiro. He saw the fangs that the man had. The man was a demon!

“Who..are you?” Mashiro winced as the wires tightened against his body. “I’m Douma, darling.” The man said with a grin. “Here, let me help you get out of that snare.”

Douma raised his hand, revealing his sharp blue claws. He then sliced through the wire net as if it was made out of paper. “There we are. Now, what’s your name, little bunny?” The demon walked up to the boy and sat down next to him.

“I’m Mashiro, but some people call me Shiro..and thank you.” Douma gave Mashiro a pleasant smile. “It wasn’t a problem. Human life is too precious to waste.” Douma sat there next to the injured boy, waiting for him to leave.

However, Mashiro didn’t move. He hoped that the demon would devour him so that his suffering would end. “Why aren’t you fleeing, little bunny? I set you free and it looks like you need some food.” Douma asked, confused.

“Please..I can’t stand my life anymore..I know that I’ll get trapped again..so please just kill me.” Mashiro whispered as tears streamed down his face. Douma tilted his head and gently picked up the frail boy.

It was clear that Mashiro hadn't eaten much. He was incredibly skinny and light. “There’s no need for that. I’m sure that there are others who care about you. Like your family or friends.” Mashiro shook his head. “No..I have no one.”

Douma frowned as he put a hand to his chin, thinking. He didn’t eat many males, but there was no way that this boy could survive on his own. It would be cruel to leave him alone. Then an idea popped into his mind.

“Your wish is my command.” Douma gently picked up Mashiro. Mashiro closed his eyes as he awaited his fate. Douma opened his maw and carefully put Mashiro inside.

Mashiro felt the warmth of Douma’s maw and sighed. At least, he would die soon. Douma tilted his head back and started to swallow the boy. His fangs brushed softly against the boy’s kimono.

The demon’s throat was a warm, plush tunnel that guided Mashiro into the demon’s belly. Mashiro was confused why Douma decided to swallow him whole instead of ripping his flesh apart, but he guessed that being chewed would be incredibly painful.

Douma was quick to finish swallowing the boy. He could feel Mashiro entering his belly and he gently rested a hand on his stomach. Douma’s stomach felt like a soft, protective blanket that wrapped around Mashiro and kept him warm.

Mashiro opened his eyes and looked around him. Douma’s tummy was dark, yet comforting. The soft sounds of the demon’s heartbeat and belly were incredibly soothing. Mashiro had never felt so comfortable.

“Thank..you.” Mashiro said as he let his body rest against the soft walls. “You’re welcome, little bunny.” Douma’s voice was muffled by the walls of flesh that surrounded Mashiro. Douma took a deep breath before continuing. “I..I’m not going to digest you.”

“You’re not?” Mashiro was confused. He thought that demons would jump at the chance of a free meal, so this was strange. “Why not?” Mashiro’s voice was quiet and soft.

“I may be a demon, but I’m not a rabid beast and besides, that would be cruel to kill somebody as unfortunate as you. Especially when I could take care of you.” Douma purred as he gently rubbed his belly.

“Oh, you..would do that for me?” For the first time in his life, hope could be found in Mashiro’s voice. “Of course, little bunny. As I said before, human life is too precious to waste.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” A soft smile appeared on Mashiro’s face as he snuggled into the soft walls of Douma’s tummy. “You’re very welcome.” Douma chuckled.

The soft movements and sounds of Douma’s belly were gentle and soothing. Mashiro yawned as he curled up inside the demon’s tummy. “Are you tired, little bunny?” Douma asked softly.

“Yeah..” Mashiro said weakly. He was having trouble fighting the urge to sleep. Douma noticed this and chuckled. “No need to worry. Go to sleep, little bunny. You’ll feel better soon.”

“Thank you.” Those words left Mashiro’s lips as he fell asleep. His body rested inside the demon’s belly. Once Douma felt the boy sleeping, he stood up, held his belly close, and headed back to his home.

Mashiro woke up a few hours later. However, he was in a new and strange place. His icy blue eyes looked around him. Mashiro found himself resting in a cozy bed in a purple room. There was a small table in front of him that had a plate of peaches and strawberries on top of it.

The room didn’t have much in it, but it seemed rather comfortable. There was a red cushion in the back of the room that was surrounded by a few other small cushions and blankets. Sitting on the red cushion was Douma sipping tea.

Once the demon saw Mashiro awake, he instantly put down his tea and crawled towards him. “Good morning, little bunny! Do you sleep well?” Douma’s voice was sweet and playful.

Mashiro nodded as he gave the demon a soft smile. “Thank you. I owe you my life.” Douma hugged Mashiro tightly. “Don’t worry about repaying me. Just eat up and enjoy yourself!”

[and-yet-the-daisies-grow]

Friendships when you have BPD

A few days ago I told one of my friends about the fact that I'm cluster B. He is a very anxiously attached person who got pretty damn clingy with me. I took a breather from them but wanted to tell them that this isn't going to change. I'm never going to be able to handle their clinginess. So I told them about the fact that I'm cluster B.

That friendship was so fucking exhausting for me. I tried really hard to be what I thought he needed me to be, but I'm not doing that anymore. I was kind, listened a lot, pliable, "compassionate". I want my friends to actually like me, the real me. I am not here to provide some sort of fucking service, I'm looking for genuine connection.

I'm not a very empathetic person. My affective empathy is actually pretty damn low, and masking and pretending that the pain of others makes me feel someting is so fucking tiring.

Of course I do care and I don't want for people to suffer, but I still don't feel anything. I don't think that's a problem, though. I used to hate myself for it, but I don't think it actually matters.

What matters is what I do. I'm great at comforting people, even if they're in a very stressful situation. Sadness, suicidality, rage, panic attack, you name it. I can handle it, mostly because I don't feel anything but a sense of wanting to protect the affected person.

So since most of my "friendships" right now are purely convience-based (we only hang out when we're in the same environment, when that's done, we drift apart) and I was pushed out of the same environment, I don't have these friends anymore.

I will meet new people though, and when I do, I want to be honest about my experiences, my emotions or lack-there-of.

The people I've attracted until now are almost all anxiously attached. I'm mostly avoidant, so it's utter fucking misery. They're cool peeps, but I can't handle being around them anymore. I find them pathetic, codependent, emotional and annoying. And that's not right! They don't deserve to be thought of so badly of someone who they consider their friend.

And it's unfair to me too, because I force myself to take care of people when I fucking hate it. Because from my experience, anxious-attached peeps will push so many of their emotions on you. Emotional contagion. I don't blame them for it - they're just looking for connection. But it's so suffocating for me and I'm not gonna put myself through this anymore.

Trouble is I'm not entirely sure how to break contact with them! I just feel so bad for them. They're easy for me to identify, since they're all so codependent, have severe people-pleasing tendencies, have trouble speaking up for themselves... but ughhhhh. They're like lost puppies, I feel like a monster for not helping them lol.

But I also resent them because many of them are fucking pussies. They don't stand up for themselves and they sure as hell don't stand up for me. And I don't value friendship with no loyalty and no risk-taking for your friend.

Internally, I'm not the caretaker friend. I'm the friend who's gonna be honest with you, who will make & enact revenge plans to payback the people who've hurt you, who will go on adventures with you. And yeah, I'll listen when you need me, but I'm not gonna mask while I do it.

I'm not looking for babies to mother anymore, I'm looking for a pack.

I'm not a compassionate person, I'm just a great actor. But I am very protective, and I think that's a great strength too. Anyway, I'm rambling lol.

[authornicolesbrown]

Please pray for me and my kids. We have not had many donations in the past week. We are out of money. My first day of work is tomorrow and we have no money to pay for Uber rides and a hotel stay for tomorrow. If we don’t have money tomorrow at 11 am CST tomorrow, we will be kicked out of this hotel and won’t be able to go to work. Please donate, pray, share, buy books and merchandise and/or support this cause in any way shape or form. We will greatly appreciate it. We love you and God bless you. Cash App: $NikkisSecret78, PayPal: brownns71202@gmail.com, Venmo: brownns8@hotmail.com, Book and merchandise links: poetryatbest.etsy.com, authornicolesbrown.yolasite.com, https://www.amazon.com/stores/Nicole%20S%20Brown/author/B005Z51AK4…. GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/d711380e

Do Not Pass Me By (Pass Me Not)

I don’t want the Lord to pass me by

I don’t want the Lord to pass me by

I don’t want the Lord to pass me by

I don’t want Him

Don’t want Him

Don’t want Him

Don’t want Him

Don’t want Him

I don’t want the Lord to pass me by

When I’m down

And I’m out

And I can’t see my way

I need the Lord to help me everyday

I need Him every hour

I need Him every minute

Whatever I’m doing I need the Lord in it

Pass me not my gentle savior

Lord don’t pass me by

Lord I try… I try… and I cry

Lord I’m about cry

Lord I know that for me You gave

The ultimate sacrifice that I may

Have life and it more abundantly

Lord, You kept me alive when 5

Haters put a gun at me.

Lord, I know that my name means victory

Yes, literally Nicole means victory

For the people…

So pass me not oh gentle savior

All is conquered through labor

Lord, the harvest is plenty

But the laborers are few

Lord, passing me by is an unwanted

Action of You to me.

Lord, I’ve had many unwanted actions

Of many to me in pure hate

And they acted like You didn’t see

Lord, I did nothing but love the many

Who hated me but boldly said that they

Loved. Lord, I have to be like my grandma

On this response…. What is we gon’ do?

Lord, I just wonder why my life is so hard…

I’ve worked diligently and people

At home and at work were and are

Constantly stealing from me.

Please Lord, I need You in all aspects of

My life to remove the sorrow, the pain,

The misery, the suffering, the strife,

That has been going on for a long time

In my life. If you look at my life, and see

What I see. I see all types of people

From all walks of life acting with outright

Buffoonery toward me in the name of

Jealousy, envy, and that mean mean green that the love of it is the root of

All evil. Lord, so many places of business

Popped me off like a weasel who had no

Skills because the chick right here… ever since I could remember… I been poppin’ my Collar and people took my dollars not as a kid in my hood but as an adult as a professional all because they weren’t on

My level but Lord I walked and walk in love toward them anyway because I’m truly called to do it in order to life Your way all day and everyday. I call it the life that’s true, but Lord, I just have to go back to what my grandma would say… Lord, what is we gon’ do. Lord, You are my and my grandma’s Lord and savior. Lord, my grandma would really be proud of me if she was alive today but I know that she’s looking down from Heaven with You and shouting Lord, I told my grand baby that she represents You and she is teaching the world how to live the life that’s true. Lord I thank You for being my Lord and Savior. I just don’t want you to pass me by

Or stop blessing me. So I’m gonna sing

This verse in the old church way… my grandma’s flavor… Pass me not oh gentle Savior. Hear me humble cry. While the others Thou are calling. Do not pass me by. Lord please don’t pass me by. I know that I’m far from perfect Lord, but I do try.

Lord, please, please, please don’t pass me by.

Wrote at 8:05 pm on 2/7/24 while listening to Do Not Pass Me By by MC Hammer and the hymn Pass Me Not and desiring the Lord to be with me in this housing situation and every situation in my life now and thereafter

[echologname]

Some preach about the "anti Christ" and the "End times." What happened to preaching God's Word? Also, if we truly are nearing the time when this sinful place can FINALLY be destroyed along with every evil, painful thing about it, shouldn't we rejoice? Shouldn't we rejoice in The Lord's Will for His plans are always good no matter what they are? God, I'd love to follow You no matter what. I've tried following myself and it ended in misery and I suffered the sting of sin in my deceased spirit, mind, heart and body. So please, anywhere You go is bound to be freeing, holy and peaceful and THAT'S where I'd like to be too. I would GLADY suffer for you and your Will because you at least do it out of love and suffer WITH us whereas suffering for The Enemy only leads to more suffering. Watching this old battle of Heaven vs. Hell FINALLY be over where God's Kingdom reigns Supreme over ALL the forces of evil would be the greatest honor and blessing to witness.

Thy Will be done. We can't stop you from fulfilling your plans anyways, so, I've found joy in embracing them and thanking you for the afflictions you've put upon me for when they're allowed by You, they're really blessings which lead to growth and wisdom and without You, they're curses from The Enemy.

No power of Earth or Hell can EVER stand against me for you strengthen me, bless me and call me holy, even You're child when most of the time, I'm not that godly and have done a long list of sins. You're perfect love casts out all fear. Being with You, I shall never die, my body may be destroyed but You'll make a new one for me, one that is not of Earth and a soul you've cleansed. So, when this body eventually gives out, it'll be peace that I feel for it'll be You calling me home.

[dangermousie]

Hello !

I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)

Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤

Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!

From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)

1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)

Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)

Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.

Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.

Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.

In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.

Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.

In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.

And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.

If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.

There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.

Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.

Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...

[hurting-fictional-people]

Villain’s fingers are cold against Hero’s skin, the gentle massage on their shoulders raising goosebumps along their entire body, making them hate themself for thinking that the feeling isn’t entirely unpleasant.

It should be. It is. But it also isn’t.

Hero takes a few heartbeats, but they yank themself away from Villain’s hands, whirling around to face them.

“Isn’t it enough for you to have stolen my powers? You want me to lose my mind as well now?”

The words come out bitter, carrying the taste of hatred and the pain of loss. 

“You look tense, darling,” Villain purrs, tilting their head to the side, a smile playing on their lips. “If we’re going to give the people a spectacle, you need to be a little looser. I’m helping you out.”

“If you want to help me out, give me back my powers.”

Villain rolls their eyes and sighs. “You know I won’t do that. Now, are you ready for our performance? Don’t forget what’s at stake here.”

How could they? Sidekick’s bruised face, tied up hands and scared eyes are burned into their memory, the certainty that their life depends on Villain’s goodwill a heavy and unforgettable weight on their back. On their heart.

Hero doesn’t respond. They don’t have to – everything, from the fear to the anger to the defeat, is written across their face. Villain smirks. “Let’s put up a show, then.”

They have no choice but to follow as Villain opens the balcony doors and steps out into the light, dozens of cameras aimed straight at their faces from the town square below, hundreds of people staring, thousands watching from behind the lenses, locked on every breath they take as they stop in front of the crowd.

“People of the city, behold your future!” Villain says, voice loud and clear, proud. Hero grits their teeth to prevent the warning that bubbles up from escaping, and tries not to feel the weight of the shackles around their wrists, keeping them bound together in front of them. In front of everyone else, too. 

It starts as a tug at their very soul. A brush of cold fingertips on that pit of glowing magic only them should have access to. They know it is useless, but Hero still tries to resist. With every ounce of willpower and raw desperation, they struggle, writhe against that cruel inevitability, but Villain’s smile doesn’t so much as falter as they do. It doesn’t have to, anyway. It’s done before it even starts, and Hero nearly cries out when the power surfaces against their will, when it bursts out of their clenched fingers in an explosion of gold that envelops the world. 

The worst part of it all is that Hero doesn’t move as they are invaded and violated, as their magic is wielded by another. That’s what really brings them close to tears. The helplessness of it all, of knowing that if they move, if they yell for help, Sidekick is the one who’ll suffer. So Hero looks down at their feet and tries to keep standing as a shiver runs down their spine and their magic surrounds every person around them.

“You can surrender to me, or you can suffer the consequences of your sweet hero’s powers, for they are mine now,” Villain declares. “Kneel, and I’ll be merciful. Fight, and I won’t hesitate.”

Stunned silence fills every vacant space throughout the square. Shock emanates from the crowd, as well as fear. Hero pretends not to see the faces that show judgment as well, aimed directly at them. For not being strong enough to stop Villain.

But instead of kneeling, one person takes a step forward.

“I will never bow to you,” the person says, and spits on the ground from the floor below, but in Villain’s direction nonetheless.

They frown, and Hero takes a step forward, fear shining in their eyes, thrumming along with their heart in anticipation.

Before they can do anything – collapse to the ground, scream for them to comply, ask for help, anything –, Villain grabs them from behind and pulls Hero flush against their body, warm breath tickling their neck. 

“None of that, now, darling. Let’s show the world what we can do together, shall we?”

When the power wraps around the rebel’s throat, a wave of shock so strong washes over Hero, they do not react. They stand there, unable to move, with Villain’s arms wrapped around them and Sidekick’s life in their hands, watching as their own magic makes the civilian choke and fall to the ground scratching their throat. 

“Please,” Hero rasps out, wide eyes locked on the figure squirming on the pavement. “Villain, please, please stop this, I’ll do anything.”

Villain chuckles against their skin. “I like it when you beg, love. Only because you asked so nicely...”

The power retreats and the person is left panting in front of everyone, Hero’s breaths almost as hitching as theirs, chest as tight as the civilian’s throat was. Maybe even more.

“Anyone else wants to say something?” Villain asks as they let go of Hero, only their heavy hand left on their shoulder. Grounding, threatening. 

The crowd falls to their knees almost in tandem. The hand on their shoulder squeezes, and Hero reads the words in Villain’s eyes. You too.

They kneel, and the thud of their knees hitting the ground echoes inside of them, a sound of shame and defeat. Villain grins as they stare at the kneeling people, but their eyes keep coming back to Hero’s lost expression, to the despair so clear in their face, as intense as the triumph in Villain’s.

Villain doesn’t tell them to get up, so no one does – the threat of having the power that once kept them safe turned against them keeps the people still as statues. 

It doesn’t last more than a minute, but Hero feels like they are years older when Villain finally allows everyone to get up.

They don’t hear the speech Villain gives. They don’t see the anger on the faces that dare look at them. All Hero does is stare at the ground, where there are no cameras to record their humiliation, no blameful eyes and scared faces they know will haunt them forever. 

When Villain finishes and leads them back inside, Hero lets them. Their power is still surrounding every living being around them, and even though they can’t control it anymore, they can still feel the magic swirling around the people, a beautiful threat they had once loved.

The doors close, the eyes left outside, and then there’s just Villain, grinning like a wolf at the misery emanating from Hero, the hopelessness.

“What now?” they ask through gritted teeth, afraid they might start crying at any moment.

“Now, love,” Villain says, tilting Hero’s face toward theirs with soft fingers, “I will take over the world. And you will be right by my side as I do it.”

[yannowhatigiveup]

T.W.A.A: The Eccedentesiast

This is a one shot I started last night and I finished it at around 2 am because I’m an insomniac. Sadly this isn’t the 10k+ word one shot I was talking about (I’m still writing it aaa) but this one is around 4-5k words long so I hope you enjoy. This is rushed, badly written, badly plotted and badly named.

TW: Dark topics such as sexual assault and suicide is mentioned in this piece of writing.

Paris, the City of Love, what a big misconception that was. If anything, Paris should've been labeled as the City of Misery considering the fact it was haunted by a villain who preyed on negative emotions. No one outside of Paris knew though, they were oblivious to the fact hundreds, thousands even millions had died in the city home to the Eiffel Tower, only to be resurrected and tormented with the memories of their death. It was worse for Marinette though, she had watched all the citizens, her beloved citizens, die before her eyes and she was powerless to help them. Their screams of anguish and cries of pain forever ghosted her nightmares. It wasn't just their blood that she drowned in, she was bullied, abused and betrayed in her civilian form by those she trusted the most.

Her classmates. She thought she could trust them but they left her for someone shinier and newer. They all hurt her, destroyed her hard work, verbally and physically bullied her. Nino and Kim, her childhood friends had turned their backs on her too, even joining the others in causing her physical and emotional pain. Alya, her best friend, had become her main abuser. The reporter stabbed the poor bluenette in the back, figuratively. Lila was the one who did it literally. Lila, the sound of the name itself made Marinette sick, after all, the brunette was the one who did this to her. She made her friends turn their backs on her, she made them abuse her and she only watched with fake crocodile tears and a smug smile when no one was looking. And Adrien, he was the worst of all. When Marinette was younger, Adrien was the embodiment of perfection. But now? All she could see was a spineless coward and a predator.

As Chat Noir, he wouldn't participate in the battles, only flirting with her hero persona. He would whine like a toddler when she rejected his advancements. Even when he did join in the battles, he was useless, ignoring anything that Ladybug would tell him and go straight for the kill which never worked. Chat Noir was incompetent and a sexual harasser. As Adrien, however, he was much more. Just two days ago, he had tried to sexually assault the young bluenette. The blonde had underestimated the girl and she managed to get away but nothing could erase her memory of the event.

The ultimatum Lila had delivered to Marinette when she thirteen seemed over-dramatic and seemingly impossible at the time. Yet three years later, she was at the point of no return. Her classmates, her friends, her teachers, the boy she once loved, her partner, her parents. They all left her. Mayor Bourgeois, fearing for his daughter's safety, had sent Chloe to New York with her mother. Luka was on tour with his father so they could build a better relationship. Kagami had a family affair back in Japan that would last for at least a month. She was truly alone. Her parents had fallen victim to Lila's lies and Marinette overheard them discussing about kicking her out. The only one by her side throughout the whole ordeal was Tikki, her beloved kwami. Even Master Fu had to leave her.

Marinette felt shut out by the rest of the world. Sure, Paris adored Ladybug but it felt different. She was fighting battles alone, she stood as the last survivor, the last protector of Paris. She took that title in stride, or that's what the Parisians thought. In reality, she was hiding behind a mask.

The bluenette had suffered endlessly for years, she was ready to break that cycle of torture. Yesterday, she came to the solid conclusion of who Hawkmoth was, who is accomplices were and what his motive was. Gabriel Agreste was the man behind Paris' torment, Nathalie Sancœr was one of his accomplices and so was Lila Rossi. For his motive, he wanted to bring his wife back. Marinette understood the pain he was in but she wouldn't go to such extreme lengths as he did. Many years ago, Marinette made a friend, one of her very best friends who she fell for. But she never told anyone who he was, where he came from or even the fact that she met someone. The reason behind this was the fact she witnessed his murder. That death, of all she witnessed, was the most heartbreaking. Even when all these years have passed, she never truly got over his death. His green eyes always lingered her mind.

The bluenette let out an anguished sigh, she was on the Eiffel Tower, admiring the city's skyline despite all its obvious flaws under close inspection. Though Marinette had drastically mentally changed, she would always put on the same mask, she would always portray herself as a regular school girl. This was the one time she felt a little peace in her chaotic excuse for a life. Her blue eyes stared off into the distance, focusing on nothing in particular when she heard footsteps coming from behind. In her peripheral vision, Marinette could see the figure of Gabriel Agreste slowly approaching. Not wanting anything to happen, she made her knowledge of her appearance known.

"I never expected to see you somewhere so public, Monsieur Agreste" Her voice remained neutral. Gabriel didn't flinch meaning that he had expected her to sense his arrival, it made the young girl slightly unnerved but she refused to show it.

"The Eiffel Tower holds the greatest inspiration, as a designer yourself I'm sure you are aware" Marinette was used to his cold voice by now, she kept her guard up reminding herself that this was Hawkmoth was standing a few feet away.

She hummed, putting the two miraculous users in a deathly silence, until she decided to break it. "You know, you could've just asked" The older man raised an eyebrow in confusion but Marinette never looked in his direction, "It would've saved a lot of bloodshed"

Gabriel managed to catch up with what she was saying. "Are you implying that I am Hawkmoth?" He didn't sound offended or defensive, merely curious.

"I'm not implying anything" She replied curtly, then turning to face him. "I am merely stating a fact"

The miraculous user turned away from her, focusing his gaze on the city's skyline once more. "What are you going to do with this knowledge?"

The question confused Marinette, surely he would've attacked her or try to get her to remain silent?

He must've noticed her confusion. "Even if you wanted to, you wouldn't say anything"

Marinette turned her full body towards the taller man, she was going to end Hawkmoth's reign as quickly as she could. "I can heal her"

"What?"

"I can heal her" The bluenette repeated. "Emilie"

Gabriel also turned to face her, his usual cold scowl was replaced with a staggered expression. "Y-you can? Even after all I've done as Hawkmoth?"

Her head twisted back to portrait that was Paris. "To end it all, yes I will"

"Then please, follow me and I promise I will give you my miraculous as well as Mayura's. Just, heal my wife please" His tone changed from intrigued to pleading, Marinette could see that he meant every word.

"Oh don't worry... I will"

~~~

"I did it!" Tim's voice echoed in the Batcave.

"Did what replacement?"

"I found Hawkmoth's identity!"

Around three months ago, Wonder Woman had noticed Green Lantern trying to delete a video. She stopped him before he successfully did the task and watched the video herself, calling a meeting to express her anger about the situation. Most were shaken since they had never seen the Amazonian this livid before. She briefly explained how her mother was once a miraculous user and how powerful these magical jewelry could be. Aqua Man also shared his concerns, revealing that the fall of Atlantis was due to the miraculous. They knew the logical decision was to work on this from outside of Paris, the villain preyed on negative emotions and they had been ignoring the Parisians' calls for help for four years. Their sudden appearance would definitely trigger the heroes. So in the last month, they had gathered files of nearly every person in Paris as well as all the necessary information about every akuma attack. It was tiring for the Bats but they trudged through it anyway.

Damian had taken a special interest in the spotted-heroine specifically, without the knowledge of any of his family members. She appeared similar to a female friend he had made quite some time ago, the one who had witnessed an assassination attempt on him. He saddened him to no end knowing that the friend he loved thought he was dead. The green-eyed boy became one hundred percent convinced that this hero was his friend.

One day, Dick had caught him in the Batcave observing a recently taken image of the Ladybug heroine. His older brother thought that Damian was crushing on the lady and began to tease him as others entered the cave.

"Tt, that's not true" the green-eyed boy retaliated.

"If you don't have a crush on Ladybug then why are you staring at an image of her?" Dick added more information necessary so that his younger brothers could join in on teasing his youngest brother.

The Robin vigilante sighed and brought everyone's attention to the screen. "See that?"

"All I see is this little lady Demon Spawn" Jason's smirk was quickly gone when he noticed Damian's serious expression.

"She's alone" he stated simply and before anyone could get a word in, her explained further. "There is usually a team with her"

Everyone seemed to lean closer to the screen.

"She's fighting alone. Her 'partner' doesn't participate in the battles anymore, he stays on the sidelines, observing" He let the others catch up to what he was saying. "The attacks have been lasting a lot longer than usual, Ladybug leads a super hero team correct? Then why is she fighting alone this time."

"They could have all been killed... We have to go to Paris to help the poor girl" Dick turned to Bruce. "Who knows how much longer she'll last alone fighting a psycho butterfly man!"

Bruce's fatherly instincts were screaming at him from merely looking at the photo. "I'll announce to the League that we'll be joining the fight in Paris"

~~~

Gabriel lead Marinette to his office, Nathalie wearily watching. Just as he was about to open the double doors, his assistant collapsed in uncontrollable coughing. Marinette was much faster than the older man so she got to the woman first. The bluenette carefully put Nathalie down on one of the chairs available while putting her hand on where she thought the assistant would where the peacock brooch. The blue-eyed girl could sense the broken miraculous' energy trapped in the woman so she did the only reasonable thing she could at that moment, she extracted the corrupted magic, healing Nathalie almost instantly. Marinette ignored Gabriel's relieved expression and gestured for him to lead her to Emilie.

"When this is over, I wish to have a restraining order against your son"

"May I ask why?"

"..."

"...I understand, I'll make sure to tell Nathalie"

The older man stopped before a painting of his wife, his fingers reached for the painted shapes and pressed on them, revealing an elevator to which he went down in. Following his motion, Marinette placed her hand on the painting and allowed herself to descend down the mansion. It lead her to a repository with a catwalk which lead to a circular platform covered in luscious greenery. In the middle on the platform was a class-covered cryogenic pod which the sleeping body of Emilie Agreste lay. The bluenette carefully made her way to the glass casket, placing her hand on the transparent material when she finally reached her destination. Focusing all her energy, a red light erupted from her finger tips and it soaked into Emilie's skin. Gabriel opened the pod, carefully watching his wife as Marinette took a step back. Suddenly her eyes fluttered open.

"G-Gabriel, what happened?"

The man didn't reply, he simply hugged the woman of his dreams before turning the the young girl.

"I... Thank you Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng, I can give you the miraculous now if-"

"Ladybug will be at the Eiffel Tower soon, I suggest you give the miraculous to her then"

Gabriel nodded and thanked the girl once more as she left. Before she reached the lift that would lead her back up to Gabriel's office, Marinette turned to face the newly reunited couple.

"Enjoy the happiness in your life, Monsieur Agreste, you never know when it may end"

She then turned to leave, not wanting to here what her former idol had to say. When she reached the main floor of the Agreste Mansion, Marinette was greeted by Nathalie. The bluenette acknowledged the assistant with a nod, meaning that Emilie was awake. The assistant let out a sigh of relief and rushed to Adrien's room, not wanting to be around the blonde boy, Marinette promptly left. Once out of the premises of the mansion, she transformed and waited for Gabriel to return the miraculous. What she didn't realise was that the Justice League would also be coming to pay her a visit.

It felt like an eternity, waiting for the miraculous to be handed back to her but the bluenette was patient. She waited four years for this moment, but she had to share the moment alone. It was bittersweet. Soon enough Gabriel arivied, hastily giving Ladybug both the brooches with apologetic eyes and leaving without a word. The spotted heroine presumed that he wanted to get back to his wife and son, she couldn't blame him. Ladybug reached for her yo-yo teary-eyed, she was going to put both miraculous in her weapon before returning them in the miracle box but she stopped when she heard multiple figures approaching where she was standing.

~~~

Batman and his sons were the ones to go to Paris and alert Ladybug of their findings. The five men found themselves in front of the Eiffel Tower, Tim found out that was were the heroes would return to after their patrol.

"We must tell Ladybug right away" Batman pulled out his grappling hook and flung himself to one of the higher levels, all but Robin followed suit.

The vigilante had a feeling to remain on a lower level. He wanted to be reunited with his long lost friend but he couldn't find the words. Simply, he used his grappling hook to bring him onto one of the beams, low enough so he couldn't be seen but high enough to hear any conversation.

"Greetings, Ladybug" His father's voice echoed through the quiet building.

"Monsieur Batman? Wh-what are you doing here?" Her voice sounded almost exactly as he remembered, of course it sounded deeper and more matured but it had a more desolated edge to it.

~~~

"We apologize for not intervening earlier but we didn't know how well we needed to control our emotions" Red Hood watched as Nightwing brushed a hand through his hair nervously.

"But we can help now!" Red Robin's excited voice came out of nowhere, Ladybug looked at the vigilante in surprise. "We found out Hawkmoth's identity so we can finish this once and-"

Ladybug put a single hand up, a small smile on her face, silencing Red Robin's rambling. "That's very considerate of you, all of you" Her gaze landed on each vigilante one at a time. "But I... have things sorted" She pulled out two brooches from behind her back to show the men before putting the miraculous in her yo-yo. "I appreciate all you've done, truly I do. But can I ask one for one more favor?"

"Of course, what is it?" Nightwing asked, clearly wanting the spotted heroine to be gleeful once more.

"Could you... help the other heroes to help the Parisians to heal?"

"It's the least we can do" Batman replied. "Will you be there too?"

"I'm afraid not" Ladybug turned around and leaned forward on the banister. "You know how Hawkmoth prays on negative emotions, so I've had to deal with my emotions in an unhealthy manor but now... Hawkmoth is no more. I can be free"

"Wh-"

"Thank you, truly" Ladybug jumped up on to railing, facing the group of vigilantes. Her sad smile faded as she stared at the floor.

They didn't even get a chance to process what was happening before it did. A bright light surrounded the young hero and they were forced to close their eyes. As the light died down, Red Hood saw a small bluenette. She looked so weak, so pretty, so... fragile. It hurt the vigilante's heart seeing someone like this being the sole protector of Paris with no one by her side.

"Hey little lady-"

"I'm sorry Tikki"

The girl looked at all the vigilantes slowly, mouthing a 'thank you' before letting herself lean backwards.

Gravity took the Parisian heroine and she fell.

A small creature holding something shiny stared in horror as its owner fell."MARINETTE!" The small creature's anguished scream seemed to bring the vigilantes back to reality.

~~~

"MARINETTE!"

Robin's head shot up, that name was all too familiar. Suddenly, he took note of a figure falling fast from above, her raven hair flowing in the wind. Without giving a second thought, he bounded down the ledge he was on, landing on one of the platforms and had his arms out ready to catch the fallen angel. The bluenette was close enough for Robin to grab her and he pulled her in so that her feet landed on the platform, her body still looming over the edge of the building. His brother and father landed not far from him, bounding over to help the bluenette but Robin took no notice of their presence.

"Why didn't you just let me f...all" The girl's voice trailed off as her eyes widened in recognition, the air in her lungs escaped from her lips. "...d-Damian?"

The two friends took no notice at how the vigilantes behind Robin stiffened. Her eyes developed a watery sheen as the situation began to really hit her. Tears threatened to spill as her lip quivered. Robin pulled her away from the ledge and she jumped into his arms, she was heavily touch-starved. Much to his family's surprise, he didn't push her away. In fact, he hugged her back. They heard what she said next.

"I... I thought you were dead, Dami"

"...why? What made you do this, Malaki?"

They didn't hear what she said next as her mumbling was muffled in Robin's chest. Nightwing walked up to the two first, kneeling down to be eye level with the girl.

"Hey Sunshine... we don't know what you've been through but we're willing to help you though it okay?" The girl looked at his sincere gaze, her eyes were so round with innocence, Nightwing thought he would melt.

"I... thank you, I'm sorry for worrying you when I... jumped" No one failed to notice when Robin ran his fingers through the bluenette's hair.

"Don't apologize Little Lady" Red Hood walked over to where Nightwing was kneeling, sitting next to his older brother. "Hawkbitch forced you to bottle up your emotions, you were just strong for too long."

Marinette looked between the two men, a grateful smile on her face while she wiped the tears of pure happiness running down her cheeks. "Thank you, I- this... this is the nicest I've been treated recently"

"If you don't mind me asking," Batman walked over and Marinette felt slightly intimidated you his presence as well as his tone. The dark knight must have noticed this since he cleared his throat and began talking in a softer manner. "What happened to cause you to go to such extremes? You're obligated to not having to talk about it right away if the subject makes you uncomfortable"

"Well I guess I do have to talk about it eventually..."

Recognising the bluenette's discomfort, Red Robin stepped in. In his palm was the shaken kwami who flew straight for Marinette once the vigilante got close enough. "Since you know Robin's identity, and we already sorta know yours, it's only fair if we tell you who we are, right?" He looked at his two older brothers and then at his adoptive father. "My name's Tim Drake nice to meet you"

Marinette was about to take his offered hand when the vigilante she presumed was Red Hood took it instead, "Jason Todd, Robin's most charming and handsome brother" She giggled at Damian's obvious annoyance.

"Well I'm Richard Grayson, Robin's favourite brother, but you can call me Dick" The vigilante in the suit who comforted her first, introduced himself.

"It's nice to meet all of you"

Batman soon came over as well to aquatint with the young heroine, offering out his hand for a handshake. "Bruce Wayne"

She returned the hand shake and brightly smiled, it blinded nearly all those near. "Thank you, Mr Wayne. Wait..." she turned to face Damian, one of her eyebrows raised. "Wayne?"

"I may have failed to mention that part" To Robin's surprise, Marinette started giggling so he huffed in taken offense.

"Sorry it's just- a girl in my class as been boasting about dating you and about the Wayne Family seeing her as their 'honorary member'. I knew she was lying I just didn't know that I would bump into the people she was lying about"

Bruce hummed. "We'll have to do something about this girl you're talking about. In the meantime, why don't you come back to the hotel with us? You and Damian can catch up" The older man saw the hesitation in her eyes but he also saw the willingness that shine through the most. "If you're living in a bad environment then you do have to escape" His sons nodded along.

"I'll come, can I bring some overnight clothes? It's been a long day..."

"Of course, you go get your belongings and you can meet us at the Grand Paris Hotel"

"I... thank you again" She transformed and headed in the direction of her house, leaving Robin at the mercy of his brothers.

"You like her, Brat" Red Robin spoke up first.

Nightwing pretended to wipe his tears. "Baby Bird's all grown up now"

"That means you can't adopt the little Pixie, don't think I haven't seen the adoption papers"

~~~

When Marinette destransformed on her balcony rooftop, she quickly went inside, packed some clothes as well as some essentials. When she was satisfied with her belongings, she gave a macaron to Tikki before heading downstairs where she was met with two disappointed looking parents.

"Is something wrong?"

"We've decided," Tom began. "We're kicking you out for what you've done to your lovely classmate, Lila"

"We don't recognise the person you've become, Marinette. You are not the daughter we raised" Sabine added

"May I pack my things in the morning?" Marinette inquired, her eyes void of emotion. When her parents nodded, she left the bakery and down to the hotel where Damian was waiting in the lobby. As she approached, he took her bag and intertwined their hands together. She blushed at the contact but leaned into his embrace.

When she entered the hotel room she was greeted by the vigilantes who were now changed and unmasked. The bluenette was welcomed with open arms, she felt the warmth in her heart for the first time since Lila's Tyranny. She briefly explained Lila's lies, what she had done to Marinette and how the bluenette was able to protect Paris. She would've carried on longer if it weren't for the hotel phone ringing. It was the receptionist, saying that someone had asked to see Marinette. Confused, she went down with Damian, Jason followed closely behind since he had grown quite attached to the little fairy. Waiting at the front desk as a woman, Damian and Jason recognised her instantly as Mayura. Damian tried to step in front of his friend but she completely ignored their futile attempts to keep her in reach.

"Ah, Hello Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng"

"Hello Nathalie, we're you the one who asked for me?"

"Yes, I just need to clarify a few things"

"Go ahead"

"You're request for the restraining order has been fulfilled" the bluenette nodded, waiting for Gabriel's assistant to continue. "May I ask what did he do to make you request for it?"

The two notices how Marinette stiffened. She contemplated before sighing. "Attempted sexual assault. If you look at the camera footage outside of the Louvre from two days ago, seven pm onwards, you'll see your evidence." Marinette turned away from Nathalie and walked back to Damian who, once in range, pulled her in for a hug.

"I'll never let him near you again, Angel"

~~~

The next day, Bruce had shown up with Marinette at her parents' bakery. Upon hearing about the young bluenette being kicked out, he had asked for her permission for him to be her Guardian until she was old enough to live in her own. Marinette accepted his offer. When they had entered the building, her parents had greeted their customers kindly before recognising Marinette. Bruce turned to the young girl next to him and smiled.

"You go pack your things I'll deal with this" She smiled and bounded upstairs, leaving Bruce to talk with the bakery's owners.

"Hello Sir, how may we help you?" Sabine began, wanting to know who this man was.

"I've come to gain guardianship of your daughter, Marinette Dupain-Cheng"

"Why should we give you guardianship?" Tom asked.

"I'm sure you know the liability for child neglect, Mr Dupain" With his words, both adults seemed to turn white. "I will file the necessary and submit it with the court, I'm sure you'll be willing to give your approval"

Both Marinette and the mystery man left, true they were glad that their mistake of a daughter had gone but they wondered who she had gone with.

~~~

Later that afternoon was a charity event which the Waynes were supposed to attend as they were invited by the mayor himself, the plus side was that the Akuma class would also be attending and they had no clue the Wayne Family would be there.

"...And finally I'd like to thank the Wayne Family for joining us this evening" Mayor Bourgeois finished his speech and all heads turned to the table the Waynes and Marinette were sitting on. As his speech was over, a teenage girl with glass and a very pale brunette came over to the table.

"Hello Mr Wayne, My name's Alya and I'm your honorary daughter's best friend and I was hoping-"

"Marinette" Bruce began, cutting off the aspiring reporter. The Alya girl only then seemed to notice that the bluenette was sitting at the table. "Is this girl you're friend?"

The bluenette took one hard look at Alya before shaking her head, "No"

"Marislut what th-"

"It would be appreciated if you did not talk about my honorary daughter and future daughter-in-law on that manner" Both Damian and Marinette turned red, one much more than the other. "In fact we should be leaving" Bruce and the rest of the family got up. "Miss Rossi, I will not tolerate your lies. You will receive a lawsuit for defamation and slander. Have a good evening" They left, leaving a reporter, a liar and a class speechless.

When they reached the hotel room they finished packing up, they would be leaving that night. Marinette made a few phone calls, telling her friends that she would be moving to Gotham. They had their belongs taken to the limo downstairs and had a few snacks before making their way down. In the lobby were many different people around the bluenette's age, she recognised them as her classmates and continued walking beside Damian until Alex came over.

"Marinette... we're sorry. We understand that you probably won't forgive apps but we wrote you letters anyway" the skater girl gave Marinette a pile of enveloped letters, ones she put in her bag straight away.

"Thank you for your apologies but I don't think I can forgive you just yet, goodbye Alix" the bluenette got in the limo and let out a breath she knew she was holding.

Her eyes glanced out the tinted window, she smiled knowing that she was leaving Paris for a better life. A better life with a friends, a better life with a new family. A better life with Damian.

~Bonus~

The harsh blizzard outside was definitely being felt from inside the manor, leaving a cold and tired Marinette on the couch. Damian, noticing his girlfriend's state, went to grab a blanket to cover both Marinette and himself. She snuggled into the green-eyed boy, taking all the warmth she could get, and slowly she drifted off to sleep. Damian too felt drowsy so soon followed his girlfriend into dreamland.

Jason came in a few moments later to find the sleeping couple, he was then reminded by how tired he was so he went on the couch and leaned his back against his youngest brother, himself too falling victim to slumber.

The next person to walk in was Dick, he had just finished training so he was exhausted. But he couldn't help to coo when he came across the scene in front of him. The eldest son then got on the sofa and carefully leaned against Marinette, similar to what Jason had done with Damian. It didn't take long for him to join them in dozing off.

Tim arrived with a big cup of freshly made coffee, one which he was about to drink until he noticed his siblings all curled up on the couch sleeping. The co-CEO went back to the kitchen, left his cup of coffee then went to grab a blanket to join his family. Wrapping himself in a blanket burrito, Tim placed himself on the floor pressed up against sofa.

When Bruce returned home safely, he went to the main living room to see his children, and his future in-law who was basically his own by now, sleeping soundly with the TV still running. Reaching for the remote, he turned the television off and grabbed his phone to take a picture. He planned on printing it out and having it framed in his study. Bruce sat on one of the armchairs, taking a book to read. If there was peace in the house, he might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

[scotianostra]

The singer songwriter Scott Hutchison was born on November 20th 1981 in Edinburgh.

On days like this I am thankful of a post I can get my teeth into.

Some bios give that Scott was born in Edinburgh, some  Selkirk, in the Scottish Borders, I’ve been unable to confirm this, but the fact there is not a Hospital in Selkirk makes me think it was Edinburgh, he was brought in the Borders town.

Scott was the second of Marion and Ron Hutchison’s three sons, he was close to his brothers Neil and Grant, the latter of whom described himself as the “Tasmanian devil” to Scott’s “frightened rabbit”, the nickname his mother gave him due to his shyness. Scott moved the 80 or so miles to Glasgow to study illustration, but was more interested in music than art, he later used his skills to design artwork for Frightened Rabbit’s albums.

His first songs were influenced by the likes of Ryan Adams or other US artists, but when Grant joined him they produced a long tradition of jittery indie-guitar acts who couldn’t have been anything but Scottish.

Frightened Rabbit was born out of the duo, with Scott on vocals and guitar, Grant on drums they were joined by Billy Kennedy (guitar, bass), Andy Monaghan (guitar, keyboards) and Simon Liddell (guitar). From 2004 the band were based in Glasgow.

In an interview in 2014 Scott said that his heritage mattered to him – “I think anthemic-misery-indie is … Scotland’s greatest export,” he remarked in 2014, and he did his bit by singing in his own accent.

Frightened Rabbit’s first studio album was as a trio with Kennedy, Sing the Greys and had little success during his own lifetime, their second album, The Midnight Organ Fight, broke the US but  didn’t set the heather on fire at home. Hutchison’s mercilessly honest lyrics “Vital parts fall from his system and dissolve in Scottish rain,” were seen as some as pure poetry, such was the demand from the US that they toured there more than a dozen times. It must have been gruelling for Hutchison, who was afraid of flying.

Three more albums followed, with attendant promotional and touring obligations; Hutchison also put out under the name of Owl John, and participated, with members of the Editors and Minor Victories, in an “indie supergroup”, called Mastersystem, who released their sole albumin 2018.

“Chloroform the singer who has nothing to say, Stare in wonder as the masses sing along anyway,” Scott Hutchison sang on the Owl John track Songs About Roses….“We don’t need songs about roses, Please sing me something new.” And sing us something new he did.

Scott Hutchison was a troubled man and fought depression during his short life.

I find it difficult at times putting posts together, especially when I can relate to the state of mind Scott must have been in………

On the evening of May 8th 2018 Scott Hutchison posted on Twitter……..

“Be so good to everyone you love. It’s not a given. I’m so annoyed that it’s not. I didn’t live by that standard and it kills me. Please, hug your loved ones”,  he then tweeted “I’m away now. Thanks” 

I still well up a bit reading the last of his tortured soul.

Scott was reported missing by Scottish police and the members of Frightened Rabbit on 9th May 2018, Scott’s last tweets are still there for everyone to read…..his account is @Owljohn

Later that day the Police discovered a body at 8:30 p.m. in the Firth of Forth off Port Edgar, South Queensferry, it was identified as the singer later and the band issued a statement.

There are no words to describe the overwhelming sadness and pain that comes with the death of our beloved Scott, but to know he is no longer suffering brings us some comfort. Reading messages of support and hope from those he has helped through his art has helped immensely and we encourage you all to continue doing this. He will be missed by all of us and his absence will always be felt but he leaves a legacy of hope, kindness and colour that will forever be remembered and shared.

— Frightened Rabbit,

In May 2019 the Hutchison family established Tiny Hands a mental health charity named after a lyric from the band’s song Head Rolls Off, in memory of Scott. In July 2019, Atlantic Records released Tiny Changes: A Celebration of Frightened Rabbit’s The Midnight Organ Fight, an album featuring musician friends and colleagues of the band covering their 2008 album in full. It was supposed to be released in summer 2018 to mark the tenth anniversary of The Midnight Organ Fight, and Scott Hutchison was fully involved in the process and had approved the tracks included. In the run-up to the covers album’s release, the remaining members of the band gave several interviews, stating that “the band does not exist” without Scott.

Frightened rabbit  Scottish Winds

Come gather in my lungs Scottish wind Belt out your blackest poems As the sea around you sings When that drone takes to the air A single note to raise my hair Carry songs beyond my lungs cold Scottish wind Come fall upon my shoulders, Scottish rain And dissolve all of the worry That has hunched this back of mine So let the hurt run down the drain To the reservoir one day I’ll add a drop of my own worries to a dram Gather heavy in these long Scottish winds All the fag smoke in the ether Of the grouse has clipped your wings Now I cough just like my granddad And his grandpa before him Ah, blow youth into these lungs, oh, Scottish wind Come burl around my body, Scottish blood I’ll try not to spill a drop Oh, I’m sure you’ve spilled enough And the English fucking rule Who mean nothing to these times Ah, run forever in my veins, bold Scottish blood

And the whisper to my mouth, soft Scottish winds Just enough to say “I love you” To the girl who keeps me sane Take the stupid things I’ve said Blow them miles and miles away Thank you in advance, Scottish wind Thank you in advance, Scottish wind

[gusu-emilu]

miscellaneous MDZS/CQL fic recs (AO3)

broken into sections: Character Study (-esque), Wangxian, Jiang Cheng ships, Yi City (or Yi City-adjacent), Humor/Crack, and Other

Character Study (-esque)

Wei Wuxian

my eyes got used to the darkness by @curiosity-killed (M, Sunshot Campaign era, 4.4k): The funny thing, the thing that makes his lips curl in a grin and his hands shake with laughter, is that all these cultivators with their lofty principles and noble ambitions can’t even notice the ghost among them. Sure, they shiver at his presence and flinch from his cold hands, but not one of them puts it together. Lan Wangji chases him with healing music and Nie Mingjue frowns solemnly at his dancing corpses—and he laughs and laughs and laughs because they just don’t get it. Emilu's commentary: CW for mild body horror.

Jiang Cheng

in our respective ways by @veliseraptor (T, Sunshot Campaign era, 5.7k): Jiang Cheng has his golden core back. But he seems to have lost Wei Wuxian.

You Know I've Fallen, but I Know How High by villainais (M, Post-WWX's death, 2.7k): Jiang Cheng loses both of his siblings in Nightless City. Minutes apart. He trudges home to Yunmeng with one body, holds a private funeral with a single coffin, and allows himself to wear his mourning robes for ten days—permits himself not a single day more. He is still too young and inexperienced, an unfledged boy to the cultivation world, and he is rebuilding Lotus Pier on his own. He will not gift the other sect leaders the satisfaction of seeing him vulnerable. Propriety be damned. Hanguang-jun emerges from his seclusion wearing white. He does not stop.

Nie Huaisang

it deepens like a coastal shelf by @wolffyluna (M, Post-WWX's death, 21.6k): When Nie Huaisang meets Mo Xuanyu, he realises two things quickly. One, this kid is so doomed. Two, this kid would be a great unwitting spy in his plans to bring down Jin Guangyao. It would be so easy to get into Mo Xuanyu's confidences, and so easy to get him to tell him anything he needs. ...only thing is, that wouldn't be very good for Mo Xuanyu's life expectancy. But he'll do it anyway, if it helps him avenge his brother. A fic about man handing on misery to man, the parallels and cycles in the relationships between Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu, and the lengths these characters will go to meet their goals and if there are lines they won't cross.

Lan Xichen

an old man in dried mouths by @tenacious-minds (T, Post-Canon, 3.3k): Xichen thinks. The tea had always stained the crockery red. Emilu's commentary: Lan Xichen and Jin Ling talk about Jin Guangyao.

can you be a quiet man? by @basket-of-loquats (Unrated, Post-Canon, 70.7k+) But something inside him snapped at Guanyin Temple-- and Lan Wangji watched it happen, saw the exact moment that Lan Xichen went from broken to shattered, when he buried his sword into Jin Guangyao’s chest, when his sworn brother stared up at him with wide eyes, blood dripping from his mouth, when he pulled himself closer and closer and closer-- When he whispered "Why don’t you die with me?", and Lan Xichen hadn’t argued. Emilu's commentary: Lan Xichen / therapy with a side of Wangxian.

Wen Ning

breathless (but i'll pretend to breathe for you) by swordsainted (T, Burial Mounds Settlement era, 4.1k): Wei Wuxian is silent for a long minute, and then he looks at Wen Ning, something raw and open and hurting behind his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says again, softer this time, and Wen Ning shakes his head, still smiling. “You’ve protected everyone. How could I hate you for that?”

Mo Xuanyu

stand at the pit's mouth by @eldritch-elrics (M, MXY's death, 9.3k): The dreams and regrets of a man on the edge of oblivion. Emilu's commentary: Surrealist/absurdist screenplay.

Wangxian

I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett (T, Immortality Post-Canon, 10.4k): During the worst of winter, a traveler comes to stay at Lan Wangji's inn. He wears a red ribbon in his hair. “Do you see the rabbit?” Wei Ying asks and points at the moon. “That’s the moon rabbit, he helps make Chang’e more immortality elixir. He keeps Chang’e company.” “I do not wish the rabbit for company,” Lan Wangji says tightly. “You are the one I want by my side.” “And I’m here, Lan Zhan. If you go to the moon, I’ll follow you, I’ll always be here now.” Emilu's commentary: Lan Wangji meets Wei Wuxian centuries later and does not remember the past. There is also an excellent podfic by @forgotten-envies

Look Not With The Eyes by Spodumene (G, Post-Canon, 28.1k): Wei Wuxian returns from his travels to join Lan Wangji on a routine night hunt, but when things take an unexpected turn, Wei Wuxian will have to fight for what he's really looking for. Emilu's commentary: Case fic.

All In A Good Time by bigboobedcanuck (E, Post-Canon, 8k): Lan Zhan is struck by a curse that brings him intense physical pain unless he's being touched. He is stoic and tries to hide his suffering. Wei Wuxian is worried and protective. Perhaps they will finally admit their feelings?

Across a Lake of Glass by Zizzani (E, Figure Skating AU, 92.2k+): Each year, Gusu Skating Club runs a camp for only the most elite athletes of each region. This year brings a new skater from the Yunmeng Club who wears skates lined with red and a smile made for war. He skates like a demon. Figure skating au featuring lots of healthy rivalry, pre and post-competition bonding, and an inexplicable fall from grace through the eyes of the media.

Jiang Cheng Ships

Chengqing

display my heart for you to see by @souridealist (M, Post-Canon Wen Qing Lives AU, 5.5k): Jiang Cheng has his own secrets. Some of them are part of the unburied past; some of them are about how long it's been since anyone has touched him.

while I'm in this body by @souridealist (E, Post-Lotus Pier Massacre, 3.9k): For just a few minutes, alone in her office, Wen Qing allows her self-control to slip enough to cry. It's just her luck that that's when Jiang Cheng comes looking for her. Emilu's commentary: Femdom.

Chengning

it may be that it doesn't matter by @wildehacked (T, Post-Canon, 6.6k) “Are you crying?” Jiang Wanyin asks him, and Wen Ning frowns. Pats his cheek with one hand. “No.” Emilu's commentary: Holy Grail of Chengning.

Whatever It Is by morau (E, Post-Canon, 20.5k): It starts, as with a lot of things, with a very poorly thought out prank, courtesy of Wei Wuxian. Emilu's commentary: A LOT of sex and even more emotions lol

won't run away (we're here to stay) by @qi-ling (T, Post-Canon, 3.5k): "Please don't feel any pressure to accept this, and you can take as much time as you need to think about it." It's a set of robes, in shades of deep purple, complete with leather bracers. Cut in a different style than that of the disciples or household staff, closer to the understated robes Wen Ning typically wears. He reaches out to feel the fabric. His deadened nerves can't sense delicate textures well, but even he can tell it's of a quality on par to Wanyin's own wardrobe. This is startling enough coming from Jiang Wanyin, but then Wen Ning notices the belt. In particular, the silver bell in the shape of a lotus affixed to it. Only recognized members of the Jiang sect may wear the clarity bell. Or, Jiang Cheng has an invitation for Wen Ning.

Zhancheng

By Proxy by @veliseraptor (E, Post-WWX's death, 12k): Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, looking for comfort in all the wrong places. Emilu's commentary: Hate sex that made me cry

Yi City (or Yi City-adjacent)

Songxuexiao

Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It by @silvysartfulness (M, Post-Yi City arc Canon Divergence, 123k+): One of the most complex spells of demonic cultivation the world has seen is brought to fruition, and Xiao Xingchen draws his first shaking breaths in over seven years. This, it turns out, is only the start of his problems. Emilu's commentary: Pretty sure everyone already knows about Silvy's happy songxuexiao road trip fic but it has to be here.

Xue Yang & Lan Xichen

Hours On Empty series by @lady-of-the-lotus (M to E, Post-Canon, 57.8k+): AU where Wei Wuxian never came to Yi City and Xue Yang is still running around post-canon disguised as Xiao Xingchen. "Fractured Ice" - Xue Yang whisks a nihilistic Lan Xichen off on a murder roadtrip to raise Xiao Xingchen and Meng Yao from the grave. Because that will solve all of their problems, right? "Control" - "Fractured Ice" retold from Xue Yang's pov. "A Thousand Miles In Its Light" - Alternate ending to "Fractured Ice" and "Control"

Songxiao with Xuexiao Flashbacks

Nothing Beside Remains by @eldritch-elrics (T, Post-Yi City arc Canon Divergence, 21.9k): And Xiao Xingchen is dressed in dark clothing that is not his, and his sight is all of a sudden sharp in a way that it has never been before, and Xue Yang is not here. “He wouldn’t,” he breathes. “No, he wouldn’t do that. He’s too—” “He’s too what?” Wei Wuxian steps a foot closer, face hard-set. “Too cruel? Or too kind?” Or: Xue Yang uses the Sacrifice Summon on Xiao Xingchen. Xiao Xingchen lives with the consequences.

Humor/Crack

The Hangover: A pre-wedding Dramedy series by natcat5 (M, Modern AU, 51.6k): It is not a bachelor party. That was made clear on all the invitations. It is a congratulatory get together for Jin Zixuan, attended by his family, the family of the bride, and the young masters of the other two families in their circle. The gathering is not to go later than midnight, everyone must drink in moderation, and no one is allowed to be hungover tomorrow. Wei Wuxian had promised Yanli, three fingers in the air. Jiang Cheng had rolled his eyes, but promised as well. Saturday morning, Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng wake up alone in a hotel room, missing shoes, phones, and almost all their memories of what in the world happened last night. Also missing: Wei Wuxian, brother of the bride, Lan Wangji, esteemed guest, Lan Xichen, esteemed guest, Jin Zixun, cousin of the groom, Jin Guangyao, brother and best-man, Jin Zixuan, THE GROOM, who is due at his bride-to-be's house in six hours. That's plenty of time to find everyone...right?

Jiang Cheng Loves Jar Jar Bombad Mui by @lady-of-the-lotus (G, Post-Canon, 1.7k) Jar Jar Binks washes up on the shores of Lotus Pier. Can he win the lonely Jiang Cheng's proud heart? Neb neb answer is yesa. Emilu's commentary: There's also a podfic by @aowyn. Yes, with a Jar Jar voice.

Other

Nie Huaisang & Wen Ning

By Name by nirejseki (G, Post-Canon, 1.3k): After the traumatic events in the now-collapsed temple, Wen Ning lingered behind and unexpectedly saw Nie Huaisang, the undisputed victor of an all-around terrible evening, sitting on the steps of the temple, looking exhausted and miserable, as if he’d won nothing at all. Wen Ning found himself drifting over to him.

Jiang Yanli & Nie Mingjue

utility by magicites (G, Arranged Marriage AU, 2.3k): Jiang Yanli and Nie Mingjue's wedding is a political one — a gesture of unity between their Sects. A way for her parents to finally get some use out of the plain-faced sham of a cultivator they call a daughter. “Jiang-guniang,” Nie Mingjue says, and the formality in such a setting as intimate as their wedding chambers startles her, “I don’t wish to bed you. Or any other woman, for that matter. It isn’t fair for you to live alone because of my own preferences.” She rests her hand on his arm, cool relief flooding her body like water on a summer afternoon. “If it helps, I don’t feel desire for men,” she whispers.

Jin Guangyao / Nie Huaisang

Pulling Strings by @eldritch-elrics (E, Post-WWX's death, 5k): Nie Huaisang, quite drunk, turns up at Jin Guangyao’s door one night with an unexpected request. Emilu's commentary: Nie Huaisang knows Jin Guangyao killed Nie Mingjue. This interaction is more symbolic than anything else...

[painless-innit-colourful]

After Wilbur leaves, Tommy’s legs give out, and his panic takes over, feat. the rest of the Bench Trio. TW for suicidal ideation, massive amounts of self-loathing. Also, spoilers for today’s stream.

---

"What did you do?"

He falls to his knees, and for a few minutes, the world goes blank.

What has he done? He's doomed them all, that's what he's done. He let one of the only people that believed in him get killed, he failed in his mission, and now he's almost single-handedly released one of the biggest sources of pain and misery back onto the server. Any moment he expects some righteous punishment for what he's done: a cruel hand, the final blow from a sword, the divine arrow, another damn lightning strike, because why not? Why should he get to sit and cry like a baby when the whole server will soon suffer for what he's done?

The reason they had to kill Dream was just like Ranboo had once said: 'If the villains can come back, then what's the point in winning?' Ranboo, whose presence he can feel, vibrating angrily mere metres away. It's like when you agro an enderman; Tommy expects the hit to come, he wants it, he deserves it, because Ranboo was right! They can't win. Not anymore. All Dream needs is the body, and they can welcome back all those they banished to the other side. Wilbur was supposed to be gone. That was supposed to be done with. It can't be happening again. He can't be back.

His mind whirrs, trying for any solution to this mega-problem, no matter how outlandish, but it returns nothing. Wilbur defeated himself last time. They can't conquer the prison again; besides, Sam will kill him if he goes near it again. Sam, who helped him build Jack Manifold's (his, his, his) hotel, who built him a robot that helped him gather materials and work for himself and protected him and refused to hurt him. Sam, who nearly just took his last canon life several times, who told him he should be dead, who told him he caused all the problems at the prison, on the server, hell! Why didn't he kill him? Maybe the server would be safer that way. Perhaps Wilbur isn't the first villain Dream's resurrected.

He'll never sleep again. Partly because he has to find a way to stop this, has to put an end to everything even if it kills him, especially if he can take them all out at the same time. But also partly because that look Wilbur gave him, the fire that burns nations to the scorched earth underfoot dancing behind his eyes, already haunts his dreams. He already knows which words he'll hear when he tries to rest, which crazed looks, which gestures he'll never forget; he doesn't want that. He wants to sleep in peace, without the ghost of a villain returned beckoning "Let's be the bad guys." and "Why not?" and "My hero, Dream!" The roles have reversed, the blackstone table has turned.

"You wanna be a hero Tommy?" He thinks he'd rather have died one than become... whatever monster stares back at him in the glass beneath his feet. Glass that protects the crater of a nation. A nation that he died twice for. That caused so much pain and strife. That ultimately was razed so far down that the earth will never forgive its creators for painting upon it a target so large and flammable. It was never meant to be, indeed.

And he cries. The tears make tiny 'plinck, plinck, plinck' sounds as they hit the glass, forming a small puddle as the once-proud soldier puts his head against the grave of his home, and himself, Prime knows how many times, and sobs. The ground is unforgiving, the silence carries his weeping out to sea. He shed tears like these for Wilbur once. He wants him back. He wants to go back to the Void. And with a whole server of people about to wake up to the news of the impending chaos in the form of one persuasive former president, he doesn't think it'll be long before he returns. He wants to go back to the Void, and play Competitive Solitaire with Wilbur forever, and maybe, just maybe, that'd be enough to give his friends the peace they need to build lives in the shelter of the shadows. In the runoff and the rubble, they could grow old. And maybe they'd mourn him occasionally. He doesn't see the point.

He doesn't deserve their love anymore. He's fucked up. He's fucked up, and he should pay the price. He should march up to Wilbur, and kill him, and die in the process. But if they both woke up, what then? Who knows how many canon lives zombies have anyway.

He doesn't deserve kindness, or love, or affection. He watched the sweet, innocent ghost be slaughtered because of him. A man he might've accidentally called 'father' should've killed him. Ranboo, dear Prime, patient, forgiving, compassionate Ranboo stared at him with eyes full of disappointment and betrayal and anger and stormed off. He doesn't deserve anything but his ruined city's sky, not anymore... But he wants it. Needs it. Needs it, or what is there left?

So when Tubbo stands at his side, his scarred face barely reflected in the glass, he doesn't compel him to leave. When he kneels and puts an arm around Tommy's shoulders, the younger boy does not ask for Wilbur's end. And when he is scooped up in arms that no longer tremble, he does not try to escape. He merely buries his face in his best friend's coat and waits. Waits to be let go. Waits to be thrown from the clifftop. And somewhere along the journey, he blacks out again.

---

"Would you?" "No, but-" "Exactly! He's fucked up, we can't-" "We can't just abandon him, he's my T-" "The whole server'll be out for blood within the week! We can't hide him here!" "Why not? We have basements, and secret rooms and tunnels and-" "They'll find him, Tubbo." 

Ranboo puts his hands firmly on Tubbo's shoulders, staring right into his eyes. Tubbo freezes, as people often do when eye contact is maintained. They're silhouetted in the doorway, haloed by the light spilling in through the ajar curtains. "They'll tear this place apart if they think they'll find him here. We can't do that. We can't let them do that."

"But-" "Michael. That's who you're putting at risk if you do this. People'll tear Michael's loft apart if they think we've hidden him up there, you know they would! They'd frighten the life out of him." Tubbo puts his head in his hands, quickly wiping his hair back from his face. "A life for a- a life. That's what you're saying, basically. They'll kill Tommy. No question." "They'd kill Michael too!" "Would they? Who the fuck is this 'they'?" "Literally the whole server- Look, I haven't been around here as long as you have, alright, but I know enough. They'll come for Tommy, and they won't have mercy for anyone caught in the crossfire."

Tubbo looks up at his husband for a long time, his expression becoming guarded while his posture straightens. "You're right. People don't care who they hurt around here; it's all means to an end. But-" And his eyes dart towards Tommy, Ranboo's following, and while Ranboo looks shocked and maybe a little embarrassed to see Tommy awake, lying awkwardly dumped on the guest bed, Tubbo's expression doesn't change. "-I won't leave him. I did it once, and it was the worst damn choice I ever made." He sighs, taking Ranboo's hands and staring down at them while they speak. "I don't know what to do, truth be told. I won't let anyone hurt Michael, and if they want to try then perhaps I should get back in the nuke lab. But Tommy's a part of my family as much- as much as you are." His eyes flick to Tommy, and the barest hint of a smile appears. "Looks like it's us against the world, again." 

He leads Ranboo with one hand into the room as he sits beside the mute, exhausted form of his best friend. His best friend that leans into the arm he puts around his shoulder and tries not to start crying again. "Us against the world." Tubbo repeats. "And I ain't leaving you behind."

Tommy looks up at Ranboo, who's staring at him with an impassivity that borders on scary. "Did I tell you you have mesmerising eyes? Because I actually think they're very intimidating." The enderboy's face softens. "Where did you find him." He asks Tubbo drily as he also sits on the bed, the other side of Tubbo, who smiles. "You'll have to-" He cuts himself off. "You'll have to ask Wilbur." He says softly.

"Don't sacrifice yourselves for me." Two heads snap in Tommy's direction, and Ranboo tries to answer first. "Oh, well, we weren't exactly planning on-" "I mean like, your happiness." He quietens again. "Don't lose lives, don't jeopardise Snowchester because of me." "How about you let me decide what happens in my nation." Tubbo's voice has regained some element of its smile. "You focus on surviving, alright Big Man?" "Don't- Please, don't let me ruin all this. Again."

‘I don't deserve your support. I don't deserve a place in your family. I don't deserve you.’

"You deserve another chance."

They make no promises in the half-dark. There are no agreements made over the steaming teapot. There are no settlements reached as the minutes tick by, and nothing comes of the quiet hours spent by a warm fireplace. But there are enough things said in the silences to fill the whole house. And even if Tubbo can't make his best friend fall asleep anymore, he can still hold him close somewhere that maybe, once was, once could've been something like a home.

[esperanta-dragon]

I feel like there is a need to write down why so many people hate Sylvanas so much, me included. Maybe you can’t stand her too OR you love her and you don’t understand why the hell people can hate such an amazing character. Here is why. And I will try to write this down logically as possible. No “hur dur I hate her because she is a bitch!”. No, I will put down all things so you can understand. And one sad disclaimer... it’s not the character’s fault.

WHY WE STARTED TO LOVE HER

Sylvanas showed up in Warcraft III as a Ranger General of Quel’thalas. She was protecting her country for quite some time when Arthas attacked Eversong Woods in order to get to Sunwell and resurrect Kel’Thuzad as a lich. Sylvanas paid with her life and her soul to protect her people and her country. She was made banshee and was forced to do things against her will and serve the Scourge she hated. But she was still plotting her revenge, didn’t give up until the moment came and she took the chance. She reclaimed her body back and almost killed Arthas, and took over Lordaeron City. Then she took over the undead slowly freeing from the Lich King’s grasp and gave them a place where to stay, becoming their Queen. And since then, she was planning to kill the Lich King for good.

That’s why we loved her (I never did, I will explain that later why). She really kicked his ass. She slapped the Scourge in the face. She never gave up and was doing everything to achieve her goals, her revenge. There are not so many such strong female characters, so resolute. She was not good but also not evil, she was shady, she was not the boring good guy. So why the hell people hate her? She is perfect! Let’s go to what happened during and after WotLK... Because here it starts.

WRATH OF THE LICH KING

As I said, many people adore Sylvanas since Warcraft III. But they don’t understand the character is not the same. She was never good, she was an anti-hero, that’s the fact (the Ebon Blade are also anti-heroes and they are not bad, they just do necessary things to keep the Scourge in check). She was doing everything to take revenge on Arthas. And everything means that she had no problems walking over corpses of her allies. Causalities because of my fault? Pfft! No matter as long as the piece of trash sitting on the Frozen Throne will get what he deserves!

This was pretty much visible after Wrathgate when Varimathras and Putress tried to take over Undercity and Alliance and the Horde saw what she is doing inside the city. Still fine, it was in character, she was doing EVERYTHING to take revenge on Arthas. Everything. That’s why she existed, why she kept going. Even back then, I didn’t hate her. She was still a very well-written character. This is what a character in her position would do. 

But once everything was done, the Lich King was taken care of, she realized there is no point in her existence. She saw the Lich King was not destroyed. They only replaced him. So she threw herself from the Icecrown Citadel and fell on saronite spikes, the only thing that could definitely kill her.

And she ended up in a dark place. And the pain she felt was not like anything she felt before. It was the most horrible, the most inconsolable place. But val’kyras came down to her and sacrificed for her to get her back. Now we know what happened as we progress in the Shadowlands but... let’s say this was the beginning of the end for a good character Sylvanas once was. This was a start of cliché, inconsistency, and a great example that good characters should be allowed to go and leave so they can be remembered as a good characters.

WHAT CHANGED

Look, I came to WoW really late. I was playing on WotLK free servers as I could not afford to pay for official servers. But I knew the story in WotLK and I was still pretty ok with Sylvanas. I don’t remember hating her this much. She was well written.

It was Cataclysm Firelands patch when I finally could come to official servers. And Sylvanas was already doing pretty shady and disgusting stuff. I played Forsaken starting quest line so I know. Raising undead like the Lich King did? No problem for her. She even said she is like Arthas but she is working for the Horde (she never cared for them anyway, it was just more beneficial for her). What happened in Gilneas was not alright. Who gases the whole zone and making it inhabitable? Alright, let’s say Horde was expanding and Gilneas was next to Lordaeron. Alright. But back then, I finally dove deep into lore and I’ve noticed many people are really devoted to Sylvanas. It seemed almost like a cult. And every time I asked people, why they love this psyhopathic banshee, they were like: “She is my Queen! I love her, I would die for her! She is cool, she is taking care of us, she has a good heart!”

Something was amiss here... I couldn’t understand this. I couldn’t see what they saw. I saw a shady, ruthless and careless psychopath who is using her loyal subjects to save herself from something. And many people believed it even in BfA. Me and my friend had to show them excerpts from short stories where she say that “once they were arrows in her quiver, now they are bulwark against the darkness”. They couldn’t believe they loved Queen would not love them back!

But hey, still, I wanted to understand why people love her. I would understand if it would be still Warcraft III or WotLK, that’s fine. But Cata? Legion? BfA? Shadowlands? 

So I started reading all books, short stories where she was. Articles about her. I tried to catch the glimpse of why people loved her: the majority told me she is still good and has a good heart and she is an amazing person. But I didn’t see it. Maybe I am stupid and I don’t understand, I am missing something... So I kept studying, trying to see anything good in her, I was failing. I saw a character falling more down into a pit full of anger and hate. Her loyalists said she was an amazing creature, loving, caring.

And the more I was told by people that she is caring and she has a good heart, the more I was getting disgusted and angry because the more I was reading about her and the more her loyalists told me, the more I saw what Sylvanas is: inconsistent character.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH SYLVANAS

In one book she was written like this. In another book, she was written like that. In one quest it was like this, then it was like that. In one expansion she behaved this way, in the next expansion, it was that way. She was doing more and more twisted things and her loyalists kept telling me she has a good heart. My frustration was growing to the point I could not stand her. It felt like I’ve met the person I knew was torturing her friends but when I met them, they told me with bruises on their faces and definitely mentally abused that she is amazing and it’s not her fault, she is just misunderstood and I should love her too.

When she killed Liam Greymane, loyalists were like: “I have no clue why Genn hates her so much! That stupid dog should die!” Yeah right, somebody kills your son and destroys your home, you have no reason to be angry, it’s ok.

She burns down Teldrassil and they said: “Why Tyrande wants to kill her? I hope Sylvanas kills her first!” Sure, somebody burns down a city with thousands of innocent people, it’s fine, let them go, no hard feelings. And sometimes these people are able to justify her actions with: “But this is fantasy! There is different morale than in real world!” Please, guys, never ever write a story. Never touch it. You will end up like Steve Danuser making characters to behave like idiots and without emotions. Stay away. Please. Do world the favor.

I was trying really hard. Trying to figure out what kind of character she is. Find a pattern. Because you can write a chaotic character and still find a pattern and it can be still a consistent character. But Sylvanas? I felt more and more that not even Blizzard knows what to do with her, how to write her... she felt more and more inconsistent and out of place with every expansion. And you know what? That happens to characters which are kept in the story longer than they should. If character losts a meaning of their existence, there are only two options: you either let them go or you have to find them a new meaning. And in case of Sylvanas, the second option led to a narrative disaster.

We were told by Blizzard: “Don’t worry! Everything falls in place! It makes sense what she does!” But after the Sanctum of Domination finale? It was a big fat lie...

Before I come to the cinematic, let me tell you what made me hate her beyond every possible measure: her fandom.

HITLER HAD A GOOD HEART!

In Legion, she was doing shady stuff. But in BfA? She became a Hitler. She burned down Teldrassil because... IDK she snapped and wanted to show one elven archer that you can kill hope? And what kind of catapults she had has reach 20 km? What kind of catapults can burn down incredibly big tree SOAKED in water with thick bark. Was that azerite or... no, I am not gonna get angry. And I won’t even start with the b*shit Blizzard pulled: “Look, just because Sylvanas is right in front of Teldrassil doesn’t mean it was her who burned it down!” They had to lie to us to look that they can create a better story than what it actually is.

She destroyed Undercity so Forsaken lost their home. Is this how you take care of your subjects if you are loving and caring? I think not.

And with her actions, millions of souls from the whole cosmos are going right into the Maw for eternal suffering. And why? Because she was scared. Because instead of thinking about herself and trying to change, she rather schemed with the god of death... who was responsible for her misery. And even teamed with Kel’Thuzad, who was reason of her fate in the first place! And yet, after all this, after mass genocide, destroying souls, millions, maybe billions of souls are suffering because of her... and you can still tell me there is still good in her and she deserves redemption arch... And with love say: “She got us into this, she will get us out of this <3 ^_^” So somebody is making everybody suffer and some people are like “Ooooh it’s fine, I support her! I bet she will realize what she is doing and she will save us!” Would you say the same about Hitler? That he was misunderstood, he was trying to fix something that’s why he murdered millions of people? I am just asking what kind of people her loyalists are in real life.

I have a question... would you still love her if she was a man? Or decomposing undead? Or if she wouldn’t be sexy elf at all? If she would be ugly? I think we all know the answer (disclaimer, beautiful people are not always kind and nice, what a surprise). I bet she would be already killed or hated by majority of the community at least two expansions back. Why Garrosh had to stand trial for war crimes and Sylvanas doesn’t? To be honest, I never liked Garrosh, I hated him, but I never hated him as much I hate Sylvanas. He was at least consistent to his very last moment. But I am fed up by the fact that everybody keeps excusing what she does just because she is a sexy elf. This is not character I can respect. How can you say about such character that she is cool when you know she is commiting genocide? Let’s replace her with ugly elf and let’s see how many of you will still love her.

If you love her because she is a crazy homicidal maniac and you want her to do evil stuff, go ahead, nothing wrong with you, it’s fine. You love her because you think that she has a good heart and she is sending millions of souls into hell because she wants to help us? Take your pills and think twice before going on date with a manipulative person who will use you, beat you but will tell you they love you so much while cheating on you. Thanks.

If you are lying to yourself that she is good and has a good heart because you are afraid you wouldn’t like her anymore as a bad guy, then you love illusion you made around her, not the character itself. And you should seriously think if you really love the character if you need to change it that much in your mind to keep loving her.

GRAND FINALE

“If they are gonna give her redemption arch, I am gonna puke.” Many people told me, they would not. They are not gonna do it. She is beyond redemption, she is antagonist, period. Guess what, they did. The cheapest way possible.

Blizzard kept telling us everything will make sense in the end, why she did all these things. But it did not. And it only confirmed my greatest fear: Sylvanas is an inconsistent character since Cataclysm.

Sylvanas was afraid to go to the Maw. So she got an amazing idea. Let’s free the god of death, the malevolent creature trapped there because for sure he is suffering just like me, and injustice was done to him. He is the reason of my suffering because he made Helm of Domination and Frostmourne, that’s why I was killed and I am like this? I am sure he is a good guy, in the end, let’s remake reality so there is no life and death! That guy must be pretty ok. Oh wait his job is to torture souls? No, I don’t believe he is bad.

So when Jailer gets all he wanted, ofc he say that he will remake all reality and everybody will serve. And Sylvanas realizes: “Oh my, he is just like the Lich King! I didn’t want this! I will never serve!” Even she served him for the past few expansions. And suddenly she sees he is a bad guy. Suddenly.

And then, Jailer gives her half of her soul back... So... this is the explanation? She was doing all this because she was not whole? Is this an excuse for genocide? Now we will all feel sorry for her? Tell her it’s ok, you were not yourself?

I am saying this all the years and I will say it again: the Ebon Blade are order full of those with a fate like Sylvanas. The whole order. Multiple characters suffered under the Lich King like her, lost themselves, were made to kill their friends, their families. And they, too, took revenge on him. But instead of going crazy and trying to hurt everybody because they were hurt, they tried to help and protect people. Maybe they are missing part of their souls too. But are they running around, burning innocents, committing genocide? No. So please, the is no excuse, she was aware of what she was doing. I am not buying this and for sure this won’t make me feel sorry for her. It was her choice. You can be depressed and hurt into the very core and still decide not to be homicidal maniac.

Another annoying thing is, Blizzard kept telling us she is a master strategist and she is highly inteligent. Would a highly inteligent person try to help somebody responsible for her suffering? Being ok with them? There was not shown how come she is ok with the Jailer! Look I thought she is smart but after the cinematic, she does not look like that.

What was her plan anyway? Did she believe such creature won’t betray her, he won’t dump her? I was hoping he will dump her and kill her. That would be the only ending fitting for the character. I didn’t want another Kerrigan, I didn’t want redemption arch for her... I was hoping I will finally like her as a villain. Now I can’t... there is no way I will like her ever again because Blizzard probably can’t do just evil characters. There always must be something behind, some explanation why they are like this. “I was good this whole time!” And I am tired of this... Suddenly I like Garrosh because he was an asshole but he was consistent. He had a good ending. He “died” like a boss.

THEY SHOULD HAVE LET HER DIE

And I mean it. If they would let her go after WotLK, it would be a good ending for her. Tragic end for the tragic character. She fulfilled her purpose and she would be remembered as a good consistent character. But she is making a lot of money, many people love her (not anymore, even people who liked her hate her now and her fanbase is getting smaller) so Blizzard decided they have to milk her as much as possible.

I think everything good should come to an end. “You would either die as a hero or live long enough to become a villain.” In this case “You would either die as a good character or live long enough to become inconsistent and annoying character.” And it happened.

Remember how people were angry how Thrall is getting a lot of attention in Cata? Haha, good old times. How about Sylvanas in 3 expansion cinematics (and some side cinematics like Reckoning, etc) and 2 expansions fully focusing on her (and some other expansions where she is a lot too). How about the 15th figure in a row. And 4th Blizzcon art. And I can keep going.

Metzen had favorite characters... but they were never overused as much as Sylvanas. Vol’jin was warchief for 1 expansion where he did nothing and then he died so she could take lead in story. So many characters are forgotten, pushed down so she can be on the spotlight. And I am sick of it. This is not single player, this is MMORPG. The world feels ridiculously small thanks to this, we have more characters than Sylvanas + 5 characters they keep using and recycling all the time.

And keep using Sylvanas and putting her into the spotlight all the time did not help. You can start hating character you liked before just because you have enough of them and you want to see other characters. This world has a big potential. So many characters are unused because of Sylvanas. Because the lead narrative designer loves her so much that he had to make her the main character of WoW and doesn’t care there is a whole world to take care of. And he does the worst job possible. Because he tried to make her complicated and complex and in the end he was just trying to make it look like that but it didn’t work out. It was just inconsistent. It didn’t fall in place.

Her plot armor is so laughable and it’s the most annoying thing about Sylvanas. How characters around her are so stupid and dumb so they can let her do such stuff (hello Horde in BfA). The whole universe and Blizzard especially is protecting Sylvanas of any harm. How can you like such character when it behaves like Mary Sue? I didn’t want to see cinematic how she comes and beat up really powerful guy without any issues. You know how interesting would be if Four Horsemen managed to arrive earlier and they wouldn’t know if to fight the Lich King or Sylvanas? No, Blizzard wanted to show lady Sylvanas Plotarmor.

And the worst thing is, I feel like Shadowlands are my last expansion in WoW. This is where the story ends for me. And I know that many characters won’t get resolution, many story arcs will never close because they’ve put too much effort to work on Sylvanas and ignore other characters. So many characters could have met. Lore in Shadowlands could have been expanded about The Scourge, death knights, rune magic, etc... it did not. 

So no, Sylvanas is not one of the best characters created. If this is the best WoW can muster then there is nothing to be proud of. We would have good or better characters if Blizzard tried to work with more characters and give them space and a chance to develop. But we will never have them because Sylvanas took the spotlight.

Sylvanas for me is the character who will be put on guidelines on how to not use a character. This character will be perfect for DO NOT character development guidelines. And the whole story of WoW at least in BfA and Shadowlands is a great example of how to destroy the world with an amazing setting and characters. 

I hope I’ve made this clear why many people hate her. Because it’s much more complex problem. This character was misused, written horribly, overused, was given a poor and cheap story arch, made look stupid and it no longer makes sense. And on top of that, many characters will never get a resolution, many storylines won’t be finished because all story was focused on her and not on the world. World which was supposed to be “everybody’s story” was made story about Sylvanas. Just because she sells.

Good job Danuser, I hope you are happy.

Tl;Dr: Sylvanas is inconsistent since Cataclysm because Blizzard tried to make her complex character artificially and failed horribly. She should have died after WotLK and never made Warchief. They should have let her go so we can remember her as a good consistent character

P.S.: I am not native speaker, sorry for grammar errors.

[tender-rosiey]

hey dear (yeah im deffo addicted to your writing) just checking on you i hope your doing good and taking care of yourself. I would also like to drop a one shot request of Chuuya falling for mori's god-daughter (also an executive) who has an ability which allows her to summon and control demons while singing but she ends up getting captured and goes missing for 2 years then one day they find her and he confesses to her after she gets rescued (rlly fluffy). thanks in advance love Safiyah <33

❥—Cassiopeia 

❥—Chuuya Nakahara x Reader 

❥—Fluff 

ᴀ/ɴ: i am glad you enjoy my writing and i hope you are doing great as well; hopefully you like this one too 🥺💘 also let this cure your hearts after the last one- also the chant is inspired by Obey me ❣️

“Chuuya, I would like for you to meet my daughter.”

Right then a beautiful and fair lady came out of the door. Chuuya beweildered by her beauty went silent; such a beautiful creature existed?

“Y/N, meet Chuuya; he is one of the best executives here!” Mori introduced you smiling, to which you wave your hand to the ginger and smiled warmly “Hey Chuuya! Pleasure meeting you.” Chuuya smiled shyly and waved back “S-same here..”

Mori then smirked and questioned “Chuuya what’s the matter? You seem rather uncollected.” The said male waved his hand around in denial as he was stopped by a giggle from the lady beside him. “You are quite cute; I hope we get to know each other more.” You said before exiting for your mission.

Chuuya let out a sigh of relief putting his hands on his knees as blush crept onto his face. He made a total and utter fool out of himself; Isn’t he the strongest executive? Why was he so damn shy around you? The thought started clouding his mind until Mori snapped him out of his daze and asked “Are you perhaps interested in Y/N, Chuuya?”

Damn right he is. You were so sweet and kind and that just hit bullseye in his heart. Ever since then he would take almost any opportunity to be with you and talk with you. You were slowly getting to know each other better.

You have been together through tears and giggles and pain and sniffles. He knows you deeply and you know him just as well. After all 3 years of friendship isn’t a minuscule period of time; there multiple moments he had seen you in that made just how much of a wonderful person you are even clearer.

You got along with everyone.

Akutagawa, you both were like best friends and would tell each other everything. You were one of the few he accepted help or their company and you were always a great duo in battle.

Kouyou, the woman that took him in adores you. What more could he ask for? Kouyou helped you and guided in your times of unknowing what to do and how to do it. You were sisters and she valued you deeply, she would always hang out with you and talk with you about anything and everything.

Mori, the man who you addressed as your father. Despite Mori not being biologically him but he treated you as such, as if you were his daughter. He gave you all his love and made you feel appreciated and took care of you.

Seeing your kindness towards your allies Chuuya was dazzled, how could someone so sweet and kind be in the Mafia? His thoughts were completely erased when he saw you in battle.

Multiple screams, all saying the same thing “Beware of the Port Mafia’s devil!” Chuuya was wondering about who are they referring to, was it him? He suddenly heard someone singing behind him.

“Hear me, denizens of darkness, you who are born of shadow and you who give birth to it. Hear me and do as I command! I, Y/N, call upon you to send forth one of your number! I summon the demons of chanting despair!”

That voice, it sounded so angelic but the words were venomous. He turned around to be met with the sight of you floating, eyes glowing purple as demons from around you rose from the earth and attacked all the men in front of him.

‘Woah..’ He couldn’t be more in love. Your elegant movement while fighting were a sight to behold. Your voice was enchanting yet deadly, he would be grateful if it was the last thing he heard before his death.

He loved how there was a total difference between the way you treat your peers and your enemies. Did he really deserve if your feelings were mutual? It was new for Chuuya to doubt himself. But there wasn’t any route to choose when his heart now belonged to no one but you and that made him helpless before you.

“Look at the stars, Chuuya !” Right, you loved looking at constellations, and he loved how the stars shined and danced in your eyes as if they were their ball room.

He looked up and saw a weird look star, maybe a constellation? He then pointed at it and asked “Y/N, what constellation is that?” You smiled brightly before answering “That’s Cassiopeia! It represents love.” You then turned to the ginger finding him close to you and somehow both of you involuntary moved closer, slowly about to close the gap between you.

“Hello Y/N.” You both jumped and looked at the owner of the voice to see that it’s Mori. Chuuya saying every cuss word in his mind while you both were as red as roses, however Mori was grinning mischievously. It’s nice being a party pooper at times.

However that’s all in the past.

 Now you were gone, no one knew where you were taken and if you were even still alive. 2 years too long for the ginger, too long because of his suffering and sadness through them.

When he first found out you were taken he was devastated and went on searching everywhere with the mafia men; everyone in the Port Mafia was searching for their Y/N.

At the night he found out he couldn’t sleep, and wanted to start the search as soon as possible but days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and then into years. Chuuya was starting to lose hope but still searched. Everyday he thought of you, he would drink wine and anything to wash it all away.

Even now after all what happened and the two years that had passed since then they still didn’t stop searching. He didn’t stop searching.

He was walking down the streets returning back from a mission as he came across a warehouse, it looked rather sketchy so to quiet down his thoughts he entered it and his eyes could not believe what he saw.

You all beaten up and bruised. Body looking as weak as a stick and something to silence your screams and chants on your mouth, his body loved involuntary and hugged you tightly quickly freeing you from the chains that hampered you from fleeing from your misery.

He sent the location to the Port Mafia and now everyone was going to come and make who did this to you pay. He picked you up and as he looked behind him he found Mori with wide eyes barely himself believing that indeed you were alive.

The old man took you from the hands of your savior and inspected your face, those who did this to you will go through hell. “Chuuya take her back.” Mori said sternly and Chuuya nodded, he wasn’t going to let you go out of his sight again.

And there he was with you on a bed, multiple tubes sticking to your skin and a oxygen mask. You looked really weak and pale, but it didn’t stop him from loving you. He loved you even more because you managed to live through that and made it back to him at the end.

Chuuya fell asleep as he was waiting for any sign of your awakening, and you woke up instead adjusting to the light and your surroundings. This wasn’t the dark and frightening warehouse you were in...you were finally saved. After two years of misery you were finally saved.

You looked to your side to find the ginger fast asleep alongside you, you smiled softly and gently played with his hair. Chuuya felt something on his head and slowly woke up to see you pulling your hand away, but he held it tenderly and put it back.

“I have to tell you something when you recover, Y/N.” He said as he was enjoying the feeling of your touch. “Why not now?” You questioned while he looked up at you with a smile and mumbled “because it’s something you need to be told outside of this white chamber.”

And so as time passed you were finally back to how you were. He blindfolded you and led you to a garden and went behind you. “Chuuya where are we?” You wondered while he chuckled and took your blindfold off and said “See for yourself.”

Your eyes were now looking at the garden you last saw Chuuya before your disappearance, but right now there was a picnic set and surrounding it were petals on a shape of a heart and candles lighting up the the space. He then pointed above and looked at you.

 There it was, the constellation of love, Cassiopeia. He placed a hand on his heart and softly said “Love is what I feel for you. Very deep and strong love.” He walked towards you and held your hands between his bringing them up to his lips and placed a light kiss to them.

“I never stopped loving you, and from the moment I saw you took my breath away, you made me the prisoner of love and the poor who seeks for your love and touch. Everything about you is beyond description, I can’t find the words to describe it and I am afraid that it had already eaten me up. I am afraid that now you are the only who can calm the beast of love and adoration that only wants you and won’t accept anyone but you. So will you please give me a chance and let me show you how much love my heart feels towards you?”

A smile made its way into your face and vision getting glossy. You pulled the ginger towards you and connected your lips as gentle as one would touch a flower’s petal. The light of the stars shining on both you, it looked like a scene from a movie.

A portray, a beautiful portray, that could be drawn by millions but never be as beautiful. And Cassiopeia was the witness of their true and never ending love.

“once I believed

love poems were foolish

now I read love poems

just for the sake of it

and yet perhaps I want

to reach a higher state of poetry

I don't know if that's right or wrong

but such a feeling persists anyway

and sometimes irritates me

provoking outrageous desires

once I believed

love poems were foolish

yet now I do nothing

but dream about love“

-from “Exhaustion” by Nakahara Chuuya

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[marshmallowprotection]

👀

Ray doting on you while you feel nauseous, and can't really eat anything besides drinking nutrition drinks

That's far too self-indulgent to imagine but I'm thinking about it now.

She buried her face in her hands with frustrated tears. Her body failed her time and time again. It wasn't easy and the more that it happened, the more that she felt like she was losing control to the one thing that she had always been able to control. If she couldn't eat, she ruled over less of her life choices and that thought remained very scary. What if she couldn't do it again?

Normally, she would've just forced herself to go to sleep until she could manage to make herself eat again. She didn't have that ability, however. It just became harder and harder. She could feel it in her bones. Every time she tried, she would feel repulsed and distraught. Ray put so much care into trying to make sure that she took care of her needs but she felt like she was burdening him in every way possible.

He went to so much trouble to do these things for her but she couldn't give back. She couldn't even stomach to eat when he tried so hard to do things right. She would try to force it but at some point, her body would make her pay for it in the worst ways. Like, this.

Staring down at something every enjoyed and took for granted. Ray went to such a length to make her feel at home with this room he put together all by himself, the care he put into the personalized touches she saw on her app, and the extent he went to understand her limited diet and coddle her needs unlike anyone in her life ever had touched her heart. Nobody had ever done this for her and...

She wanted to break down and cry. He went to all this trouble and she couldn't even stomach a thing. What good was she? He went to all this effort for nothing. He could've taken a break... ate himself... napped... but he wound up wasting his time on her...

They always said that you do not know what you have until you don't have it anymore.

Well, they weren't wrong. She wished for the years of her past when she didn't have to think about every choice she made. If only she wasn't broken, she thought, trying to swallow down the pitiful sob before it escaped to make a sound.

She could be upset but she very well refused to burden someone when she felt like this. She felt horrible when she tried to talk about it. Nobody could help her, they could try to comfort her but she would just break down and feel worse when she knew that they felt bad for their inability to help. She was more trouble than she was worth, she thought.

Yet, Ray hadn't given up.

She felt his hands rest against her shoulders, smoothing out the fabric of her shirt as it clung to her dwindling frame. "I'm sorry you're feeling upset. I wish I could do more to make this less painful... if I could take your misery away to make it my own, I would do it... I would in a heartbeat, I promise."

"I'd never wish this on someone I despise, Ray," she muttered. "Much less someone I care about dearly."

"...I know. You carry the burdens of many on your heart. You're very selfless and incredible... I know I'm not worth much in the scheme of things, but being close to you... caring for you... it makes me feel as if I've found my purpose and reason to do good. You don't deserve this suffering. The world is unjust... giving an angel like you such suffering for no reason. Please, don't cry. I know this isn't your fault."

She looked back to see the concern in his eyes that never swayed. Why did Ray choose her to help him, anyway? She could barely function on a good day and she felt like her feedback to him was lackluster and drab. She only came because he insisted she was the only person he could see for this.

But, why?

Why would Ray want someone broken?

"Does it upset you?"

"Does what?"

"...The fact that I have to turn you away when you make food for me."

Ray frowned. He didn't seem to like that or the meaning it implied. He released his hands from her shoulders, so that he could cup her face in his hands. He brushed his thumbs against the apples of her cheeks. "It doesn't upset me. I'm sad that you can't have the things you enjoy, princess... I'm more... angry with your situation. I could never be upset with you... never. You mean so much to me. I want to be here... with you, and I understand you have limitations... I... I have them, too... I was always sickly, and that's why I want to be here for you... if that's okay. You don't deserve to be alone through this."

"But, you went to all this trouble, Ray," she wanted to argue with him. She just didn't have the energy. "You could've spent more time taking care of your needs. I'm fine... I'm always... I'll be okay. I can figure things out myself. I don't want you to go to this trouble when you don't know if I'm having a-"

In a moment of bravado, Ray leaned over to press his forehead to hers, the feeling of his chilled skin ghosting against her overheated face. She couldn't turn away from the intense gaze in his mint eyes. "I don't know if it'll be a good day, either. I want to act like every day you'll have with me is a joyful one. I'll do my best to be the prince you need that gives you the good days no matter how bad you feel. I would be a failure if I didn't do everything I can. You're my precious tester... keeping you happy and healthy is all I need to be at peace here with me in our paradise, forever."

Her eyes welled up with tears. She didn't have the energy to figure out how to deflect his words or find a way to question them. She just felt the exhaustion finally overwhelm her in a matter of seconds. So, she did what she knew best, she simply broke down and cried, holding onto Ray as tightly as she could. She had no way of knowing that her future would have good days when she kept having strings of bad days, but Ray made her want to believe.