#anyways. so normal and regular abt this man.

[magicaldreamfox1]

i feel physically ill

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

preemptively sorry for how fucking long this is it is YOUR FAULTT THOUGH!!!! large bowl of seeds for u. it is almost 2am sorry.

SO. there are. two ways to assign the prime defenders powers etc. the first way is just, like, categorize their existing powersets within the prt framework, & the second is to give them entirely new abilities based on the way worm works. delightfully, all the powers they Do have work really well for the most part, so even that doesn't require a ton of shuffling.

categorizing their pre-existing powers:

wiwi-- breaker w/ a shaker subclass. neither of them rated very high, but that's already a rare and versatile enough combination!!

dakota-- brute babeeeey!!! brute/mover its so straightforward. hell yeah babey. i don't know what he'll end up looking like post-heart removal & stuff but my guess is that'll end up looking more like a mover/striker.

vyncent-- now THIS one gave me trouble. i... hm. to say this without talking about stuff that i don't think has come up much already, (hey!! you're at that clockblocker pov! directly related to what flechette says!) i'd call him a grab-bag cape, irt the greats at least. post-greats-- again, i don't know what his powerset will look like after this arc! but if he's going all in w/ the fire magic, that would for sure be some striker shit! :]]]

giving them new powers... man i'm reining myself in so hard from five more paragraphs on Why exactly i'm saying all this.

wiwi still breaker for sure, maybe breaker-master, maybe master-stranger. yknow. powers are fluid, the prt categories are pretty rigid. i... don't know. enough about his situation yet to be clearer than that vague idea yet-- i really like the idea of him just. ditching his body & using a noncorporeal form but he still has to keep an eye on his body i think that's great. the noncorporeal form would b able to change its visibility but still b limited by proximity to the body. & fluctuating energy shit powered by fluctuating amounts of recent-death in the area, maybe probably also limited in that it's only accessible in his breaker form.... also i think u will appreciate this style note from the [UNNAMED PARAHUMANS TTRPG] i'm referencing a lot here.

dakota--in this situation he probably would not. have that mechanical heart and shit. he' would still be a mover/thinker-- thinker rating is for faster mental processing + senses imminent pain for the people in his immediate vicinity. not danger, just pain; it immediately registers ambiently & can be generally traced back to whoever it is. no he can't turn it off ever, it manifests as feeling a similar level of pain, yes it works on himself. + mover-- he can fucking fly. no super strength, just very fast flight & the general "won't splat himself flying into something" capabilities, which meshes well w/ the faster processing & reflexes. i'm split on how exactly this would work mechanically but i will NOT go into that now. i am also not going into the 15k discussion in my brain on why dakota 'notoriously bad at thinking about things' cole would be a thinker but u gotta trust the process ok??

vyncent-- trump!!!! somehow this is the only straightforward one to me? he can copy powers at the full strength or ability level of the original for an unspecified amount of time that's usually 1-30 minutes by touching the cape. crucially, he doesn't have any edge on how to use these powers + can easily misuse or become extremely overwhelmed by them. he's easily the most powerful out of the three of them <33

ashe-- ashe is NOT HERE currently and also it's 1:30 am so i gotta go fucking sleep soon BUT they would be a master. easy. :o) they can make some lil guys n do stuff with them!!!!

in general these are pretty fucking cracked abilities, all of them would b oosely above a seven or so in a number rating once they're really settled in their powers-- this is mostly because i'm assuming that they would still be heirs-apparent to the prime force equivalent, which would b the triumvirate :]] anyway. good lord. this is like the cliff notes edition of what i've been thinking and scribbling in the notes app for the past several hours. sorry if it's fucking incomprehensible. gn!!! <333

AAAAAH FUCK YESSSSSS OKAY OKAY OKAY my response is probably going to be equally as long. so it's fine. oooouh buddy.

I KNOW WHAT BREAKER MEANS NOW !!! I dontttt think ive learned shaker yet. breaker is like.... breaking the laws of physics/shifting planes or whatever. PERFECT for william hell yes. for putting them actually in worm world ... ughhhh breaker/master william is REALLY cool. I havwnt learned stranger yet but i think he would develop a complex over being classified as stranger <3 (like how weld doesn't like that he's classified as a brute even though that's not exactly what it means, he just doesn't like the word) . GODDDD just thinking abt putting pd boys in worm is fucking me up haven't they been through enough. I want to see them all in a fit of despair. william ditching his body is SO good I miss when he would do that, also the powers being limited by how far away he is AND THE AMOUNT OF RECENT DEATH IN THE AREA. holy shit. that's so fucking good . im sure he would not overthink at all the fact that he is stronger when more people around him have died . I'm sure he'd do awesome in the leviathan fight for sure for sure .

DAKOTA BRUTE <3 DAKOTA BRUTE/MOVER I LOVE THIS A LOTTTTTT hellbyes. awesome. it's so perfect for him <3 worm world I'm SURPRISED u didn't stick with brute for him. eyes emoji. I trust your judgement but now i am Thinking... Hmm..... YOU BRING INTO QUESTION something I have been thinking about. and I'm going to probably get derailed a little here but stay with me. how the way powers manifest directly relate to the trigger event. because for a WHILE before we learned taylors I was like "OH i bet the powers are going to be directly related to what traumatic thing happened to them" and then we learn about taylor and grue and a couple more and I kind of lost that theory because while you can. technically draw relations between their powers and their events it seemed like too much of a stretch to do . HOWEVER now my thinking has changed AGAIN and I think the powers ARE related to specific trigger events but it's not as straightforward as "oh something scary happened to you with bugs so now you have bug powers" I think it's gonna be more complicated than that. WHICH. THE WAY THIS RELATES. BACK ON TOPIC NOW. to DAKOTA . assuming his trigger event is still he and katori falling off the building I think it's AWESOME that his powers would manifest as FLIGHT for one. and the fucking. pain sense thing. fuck me up. dakota extreme hero complex cole would be so fucked up by a power where he ambiently senses pain from the people around him at all times and cannot turn it off. I'm sure he would feel so normal about being around william chronic pain wisp 24/7. also I can SO CLEARLY imagine how this power specifically would lead to him getting super overwhelmed in chaotic situations like he does in canon. and just fucking. bolt out of there because it's too much. again. he'd have such a wonderful time in the leviathan fight

I AM AT CLOCKBLOCKER POV !!!! actually technically I'm on kid win pov now but I haven't finished his chapter yet. vyncent grab bag cape..... yeah... I think it would be EXTREMELY funny imagining the PRT in pd world trying 2 classify vyncent like. what the fuck does this kid do . what do we do with him. hes got other guys in his head that give him powers. is he a master??? no he can't fucking control them. is he a striker??? only SOMETIMES. is he a blaster?? AGAIN ONLY SOMETIMES. cannot classify him bitch!!!!!!!! giving him worm powers though.. UGH. being able to touch someone and COMPLETELY copy their powers but only for a short period of time???? I fucking love that a lot. he WOULD be the most powerful out of them!!! I can hear taylors inner analysis dialogue about him now and it's very similar to the clockblocker "DONT LET HIM.TOUCH YOU" panic. loooove imagining this playing off of the rest of pd,,, i know there was AT LEAST one time where he had william sort of transfer some of his ghost powers for a minute? I think it was during the lich fight in the theatre but i just remember vycnent floating and going intangible and NOT KNOWING how to control it or anything. loveeee that. in world dynamics I feel like vyncent would be a late addition to their team (instead of coming from another world maybe he just. had his trigger event happen way later than the other two..or something.) and not trusting them as much at first/being REALLY shaky using either of their powers but after a while being really comfortable in a fight with using either Williams or dakotas powers in a fight. Just like. imagining the fluidity of how they'd work together in a tense situation assuming they're not being complete dumbasses <3333 UGH it's really good

AAAASHE ASHE ASHE IM SOOO SO GLAD YOU INCLUDED ASHE IN THIS I miss him.so much every day. from what I know so far master involves having/making/controlling some sort of minion (cannot think of a better word than that rn) AND I THINK THATS REALLYYYY perfect for ashe. i assume he would actually work pretty closely to canon in that his limitation would be the book? or if he doesn't have the book maybe his limitation would be a) having only a few different types of things he could summon (the big hand, the water fairy, duck etc) and/or b) only being able to control them.for a short amount of time after they're summoned so he has to be quick about dismissing them. can't keep the demon hand around for too long or it might start picking things up and throwing them at random. putting teammates in danger bc he can't control it anymore etc etc. alsooooooo in clockblocker pov they VERY briefly mentioned the possibility of having secondary trigger events (?!!!!?!?!) and you know I locked onto that SO FUCKING HARD. ashe being born with powers and then his secondary trigger event being his mom's death <3 im.NOT even going to attempt to talk about how the trickster would work in worm world/if it would even exist in this setting bc i don't know enough about the types of powers and things yet..but just know. I am keeping this in the back of my mind "this is a fun surprise tool that will help us later" style

[kkujo]

also idk i feel so fucking good abt myself idk genuinely being consistent with my gym routine has done everything for my mental health and confidence like i still feel bad abt myself sometimes but for the first time since i was probably 9 i'm having days where i look in the mirror and thinking DAMN i look good and those days are getting more frequent it's really the best feeling

[dutybcrne]

In a pokemon au, you KNOW Kae is the sort to have his team out and about havin fun.

But most definitely babeys TF outta his Vulpix/Ninetails

[gatsbydyke]

can we be normal abt gatsby please,,, and Not deadname him in tumblr polls for some reason

[wintersera]

I just dropped from masters to diamond in Overwatch ranked and I’m gonna cry but besides that

I been thinking of like shy g!p gym rat kazuha that like you go to the gym with her one time and someone is flirting with you in front of her and she just gets mad and fucks you like I have one of the biggest crushes in this girl man

-🐈‍⬛

cw: public sex, g!p kazuha, oral (giving)

anon… please carry me 😭 i used to be hard stuck gold back in ow1. good luck if you’re tryna climb back uo to master!!

but anyways YES shy g!p gym rat zuha you say?? ouhh girly invited you to go to the gym one day with her bc yk workouts RAAAHH💪 GAINS💪💪 jokes-😭 its more of a poor excuse to get you to wear gym clothes (the ones where you can SEE 👀 everything) and its also another poor excuse to get you to see her abs and biceps 🤤

well zuha is,, shy and doesn’t know how to talk to women correctly, even you 😭 yeah you guys are friends and she sees you in a non friend way partner like ooooh she has a crush on youuu 🤭 like she doesn’t even know why you stick around with her bc she doesn’t really talk that much, only bc she doesn’t know what exactly to say to you.

anywayss,,, you two were just doing regular gym stuff. you trying to bench press at least more than you usually do and zuha is spotting you like the good gym rat she is :)) and then a random man had the audacity to talk to you while you were lifting heavy ass weights?? LIKE MOOOVEE?;!;?:??;

“hey cutie, do you want me to help you? those seem too heavy for your pretty hands to hold?”

oh man,, zuha had never felt this pissed off before- like she was getting bolddd,, all that shyness she once had leaves her body as soon as that man opened his mouth.

mhmhm yk where this is going,, had to shove that man away from the bench, like fr shove him tf away 😭😭 she’s strong as hell so she had no issues with pushing a guy out the way- anwyays after she did all that, she grabbed your hand and dragged you to the changing rooms :)) as she was feeling extra bold today she wanted to yk relieve some of the tension AND there’s definitely gonna be some tension relieving 🤭

you noticed her bulge showing through her compression pants (bc she’s simply just that big 🤤) and being the good friend you are, you ask to suck her off? now normally shy zuha would say something like “ah- no it’s okay you don’t have to” :<< BUT SHE WAS FEELING PISSED,, accepting your offer bc she needed to feel less stressed abt the situation-

already ready to get cock sucked, she’s lifting your hair up in a makeshift ponytail, pulling you closer and closer to herd bulge,, you sliding down her sweatpants and her compression pants her cock springs up and hits the side of your face 😳😳

makes you deepthroat her so quickly that i catches you wayyyy off guard. zuha head pusher fr!! like she’s so caught up in the pleasure that she doesn’t realise she’s moving her hands on there own,, having two hands on your head moving it to her will AUGH ZUHAAA?:!/: doesn’t even give you time to breath, her mind thinking of cumming all over your pretty face.

cock twitching in you mouth, her legs starting to shake- ouuhh she was close to cumming. now mind you, you’re in a PUBLIC changing room with those stalls. zuha, on the verge of cumming, bites her lip as continues to rock her hips into your mouth. feeling your hot tongue on the base of her cock, she lets her senses wash over her body- muffled moans as she’s making sure no one could hear her cum,, finally letting go of your head once she’s poured out all her semen down your throat :))

—

a/n: this isn’t proofread yet- it’s 5am and i’m about to snooze i’ll edit it it when i wake up 😭

[legochaotixmechz]

ROBY HEADCANONS LETS GOO

Warning Spoilors ofc-

He has a HIGH sugar intake

• His parents have scolded him in the past when doctors' notes came in talking abt if he takes anymore he'll croak

>Doesn't care tho still chugs soda among other sugary drinks like it is his life source

• When things get quiet/at random moments he'll just scream and then act like nothing happened

• Stang zoot / ROAR is a vocal stim for him now ( roar especially even if Wyle isn't around )

• On a call with his parents he talked abt Wyldfyre all giddy then just casually mentioned his uncle tried to kill him and then went back to being a giddy mess

>His parents were like "WHA!?? YOUR UNCLE WHAT?"

>And Roby's just like "Yeah yeah I sent him to jail but anyways!"

• Roby practices his mannerisms and energy in the mirror

> He is a naturally energetic guy don't get me wrong but he practices in the mirror to make sure he gives off a good type of energy that people will enjoy

>After every game he says to himself "YES, FCKING NAILED THAT- THEY ALL THINK I'M NEUROTYPICAL !!"

• Roby uses a lot of slang / silly language if he ever gets into serious conversation and if in conversation that makes himself uncomfortable as a defense mechanism

• He loves vocaloid/Uta

>He listens to The World Is Mine before the game to hype himself

> 1# Teto stan and defender

• Fav music genres are N-pop, regular pop, Rock ( any kind he doesnt mind), techno, and that hyper Pacific music that sounds like being on acid named things like "bong cats bleeding rainbows" or smth

• If he were a Pokmon trainer he would have normal, dragon, steel and fighting pokemon

• Based on the sugar headcanon at the start. He once did a challenge on his ninjatok where he didn't eat any sugar for a week

>By Wednesday he was losing his color and tweaking without a sweet treat after every meal ( he's being dramatic )

>And By the end challenge he almost couldn't even post the last video and once it was done he scarfed down a whole tray of sugar cookies

• He sweeps in sleep-over/party game. >Especially rhythm game !

>Wyldfyre invited him over to a sleepover and he mopped the floor with everyone in Rhythm Heaven, Guitar Hero and Ddr

>Eventually they switched to Mario's party but he swept everyone again

•>They just kept going through games ( super smash bros, Mario Kart, uno etc) eventually Gave up and made him sit on the couch as everyone else played

• If he knows you. He'll know your birthday. And the spilt second it turns midnight on the day before your b day he'll spam you with "HAPPPY BIRTHDAYY BITFHHH HAVE AMAZING FUN AND AWESOME BIRTHDAYY STANG ZOOT!!!!!!!" and then send a voice memo of him singing happy birthday but with brainrot words

• He has 5 phones, 3 laptops, 10 PCs and 15 game consoles. Don't think you can ever ban my man from any social media or game he'll always come back.

• Favorite fruits are mangos, raspberries, blueberries and tomatoes

• In one of the games Roby saw smth flying over their head and just stopped everything to stare at it. So for A good bit, there was just no commentary from him or shots of the fight it was just the camera facing down

• Robys a Lil nasty in terms of if he tries smth he doesn't like he projectile spits

• He's the biggest yapper when watching movies. Always commenting on everything and crafting theories on the spot

• He can recite the entirety of the Heather's musical to a t

• In his free time he guest host talk shows (like Jerry Springer/Oprah but imagine ninjago ver) and his FAVORITE thing is "You are not/are" the father

> He has ran laps around the studio as everything breaks into chaos after every single "are you or not the father" answer reveals

> He even got a show canceled after the incident of him going too far and sending a baby flying by accidentally kicking the baby's carage

• He loves playing roblox and claims his dad owns roblox ALWAYS

• Smells like satin fabric, charcoal, chocolate

• When he sleeps he goes "Honk mimimimimimi" and hugs a comically small teddy bear with a little sleeping cap

Anyways thanks for listing to me yap

[zombiifyd]

Hey mate uh what are those qphilza head canons you got that are driving you mad?

Asking for science

for science... yesyes. although some of them may be general hcs and not that well written??? i'm used to them living in my head. and also i'm not particularly all that normal about this bird man. so anything can make me go insane. but anyway... welcome to my word vomit

1. so ive made it known that i like to make minecraft hcs often. like for the game mechanics. and so i describe The End as in like a vacuum. there's hardly any sound, except a sort of static sound, and the sounds of the natives of the End. there's no temperature but end stone had a cold touch to it. it's hard to breathe in the End, unless you're a native there, and also because the End is basically mostly Void. so this is important for the hc that i made

although phil, in canon, is a crow. there's small entertainment within the fandom that he's also an elytrian (which is a type of native to the end... i suppose) either way, he's avian. now avian hearing is less sensitive than humans. but given the fact that phil is a hybrid, he has a mix of both which sort of clash. so i'd say that phil's ears are as sensitive, if not more, than humans. (especially shown with how phil hears literally everything.)

then, before coming to quesadilla island, he came from his season 4 hardcore world. living for YEARS on end by himself. the only company he had were the crows, the livestock, the sounds of nature outside, etc. so he isnt USED to all the sounds and clamor and people talking over each other to get their cents in. so when coming to the island and meeting everyone, the sound is absolutely overwhelming. he gets overwhelmed which leads him to step away for a bit just to hear silence just for a little bit. regain his bearings before stepping back into the crowd.

people would notice, especially close friends, but not really think about it. when tallulah would finally come around and he would then take care of her, he would use her (for himself and for her) to get out of loud situations. because both of their ears are sensitive. so phil understands what she goes through. and such and such.

2. there's this one !!

i love this hc so much, like the whole "friendship emeralds" thing means so much to me.

anyway, phil is a natural hoarder. which includes all sentimental things and materialistic things he needs. plus with crow/bird brain mentality, he likes shiny things. so giving out these emeralds, although so sparingly, means a LOT to him. meaning you mean so much to him and he trusts you. and a lot in that matter.

also, other people he would give it to:

i put it in the tags BUT: etoiles. his friendship emerald would be in the pommel of his axe/scythe (whichever he uses more than the sword). phil would've asked to see it, to maybe borrow it to see what enchantments etoiles has on it. but then changes the pommel to add in the emerald and handing it back to him. like its nothing.

another i put in the tags: cellbit. the emerald phil gave to him was just a regular emerald. i say it was given one day where they were hanging beside forever's bed whilst he was in a coma. cellbit was filling phil in on whatever happened/will happen in the order bc now he is an important member. and phil was like "oh right, i have something for you." and passed over the emerald with a small smile. and cellbit keeps it in safe keeping somewhere, because then he knew it was a token of phils trust and he cherishes it.

all the other kids would have one too, in various different accessories. dapper would have a keychain on his backpack, ramon would have a bracelet of it, same with richas and leo, and pomme would have a necklace!!

3. perching

this post is kind of the reason this is on the list. its not necessarily MY hc but.... i like thinking of this nonetheless.

but also just thinking abt how phil will perch around peoples places and they would take notice to it, and maybe even build something and not say anything. i once saw an art on here where there was phil and cellbit in the order's like... meeting room with all of the sofa's and everything. but instead of phil being on a sofa on cellbit's side, it was a perch instead. and i CANT stop thinking abt it. its so good.

bird man perching. not really a hc, i admit, but i shall make up for it

4. singing

DONT LISTEN TO THE STREAMER!!! i believe that qphil can SING!!!!!! but ofc, out and in character, phil is a self-deprecating man. so he would say "i'm shit at singing" but when he tries it and sings his kids songs, it doesnt sound half bad.

when building, farming, mining, or anything really, you can hear him hum. not any particular tune most times, but it sounds nice and calming nonetheless. and it fits him just right

although when singing jort storm he's being bad on purpose 🙏🏽

but just THINK about the coziness you'd feel in the bunker. the soft natural light of the shroom lights, the natural feeling from the moss and flowers in the room, the soft humming and singing from phil as he tucks his kids into bed. brushing some hair from their faces with a soft smile and helping them put away their things before he sits on the chair and waits until they fall asleep for him to leave. its so cozy and so nice to think abt that i cant even

5. touch/physical affection

now, this hc is one i made in the dsmp era. where phil didnt like to be hugged because all it made him think about what him killing his son. hugging wilbur as life slowly left him. it leaves a man scarred, yknow?? and he'd only ever accept hugs, scarcely, from techno. (bc techno isnt a touchy guy either.) but dsmp isnt canon in qsmp. not that i know of, and frankly, i dont want it to be because its weird to think about.

but even so, i think this hc would even transfer over to qsmp phil. and it definitely has to do something with his wings. the sensitivity of the area and how big they are when they're closed and tucked into his back. the habit he has, with close ones, to wrap his wings around them in an even warmer, bigger, hug. but with his wings so fucked up and the fact that he has to wear a backpack to counteract the lost weight.... i..........

either way, phil would then only accept scarce hugs from close friends. and when he doesnt give hugs, his friends do this: fit would always give a hard and good pat on the shoulder, a side hug perhaps, a good strong handshake. wilbur always gives phil a small lighthearted punch on the arm. missa rests his hand on phils shoulder and gives it a squeeze. forever, a naturally touchy man, would just simply lean into phil's side, give a handshake, or a simple smile. etc etc

but an exception to this were his children. (excluding will and tubbo from this, even though it is slightly canon that they are his sons,... in a way) chayanne and tallulah always get hugs from phil. waking up from a nightmare and phil has them wrapped in his arms, shielding them away from harm. happiness to see him after he comes back from a trip of wandering, his arms are wide open. anything for his kids.

6. wings :3

on my other acc (zmbiicrsh) i sometimes, very rarely, post snippets of writing that i do. and in one of them i explain phils wings briefly.

i think, personally, phil's wings are big. since he is a crow hybrid, he's a human... with crow wings scaled to his size. which are BIG. (and then also the feathers coalescing around his ears/cheek and forearm areas. blah blah blah) they're supposed to be big because of his size and nature. but i also think about the color a lot. from first glance, they're a jet black. black, silky, feathers. with patterns of white stars at the bottom (when they were full.......). but if you look closely in the sunlight. if he angled them just right, you'd be able to see the multicolored shine to it. a rainbow shine that glided along the edge of the feathers.

i think a lot abt his wings......

here are some of them!! ,,,, these arent much. but i cant seem to gather all of my scattered thoughts together to give more hcs i have. but i then compensated for just infodumping and giving context. i hope u enjoyed(?) :D

[yinyuedijun]

hiiiii i have not read or seen windbreaker my only interactions with it are bc some of my moots r into it now so ive read some fics and i saw tokyo vice on my dash and i was really pulled in by the summary so i read both parts and sincerity and the little prequel piece and oh my god it’s so good. i love the humor, the narrative voice is so witty. suo’s character is so intriguing bc as much as the reader loves and knows him there’s still so much going on that we can only guess at and i felt like that was communicated really well. i enjoyed the fact that sincerity and the prequel let us see their relationship at a different time and how we got to where they are in the present. im really interested in the reader and i felt like u did such a good job of weaving in the comedy to make some of her internal dialogue more lighthearted while still developing her emotional state really well. plus the smut was insane like 11/10 no notes. when the reader said she was excited for pussy inspections >>> like fuck yea me too!!! but anyways i loved the details we learn about her and how her fantasy is have really mundane romantic and vanilla sex. it really speaks to just how fucked up her life has been to the point where her biggest romantic dream is just to have regular sex with the man she loves. like ugh the angst interspersed with the comedy and smut was just chef's kiss. AND THAT ENDING??? WHEN HE THINKS SHE'S ASLEEP. like that did tug at my heartstrings especially when he talked about what their old friends think of him :(( and how if he was a better man he'd let her go. i read another organized crime x civilian fic for a different fandom a few years ago and it ended with the civilian person leaving his partner/his partner letting him go bc the deeper the partner he got into organized crime the more unhinged he became and how his mental state began affecting the civilian. thats a really condensed way of explaining but the events were crazy and it had me crying and screaming every chapter but that's something that ive never seen in other yakuza/gang/organized crime aus so i thought it was really cool to see how that is something that suo thinks about and has to come to terms with now that its been a few years and he can look back at his behavior.

but anyways i really really loved it and im gonna watch/read windbreaker as soon as i can now :)) so thank u for the wonderful fic 🙂‍↕️ and is tokyo vice over? i dont think i saw a completed tag on it on ur masterlist so i wanted to ask if u were leaving the world open

ANONNN I LOVE U SO MUCH TRULY THANK YOU!! 🥹 tokyo vice was an absurd self-indulgent project so I'm so very happy you gave it a shot despite not being into wbk!!! I must confess that it's wildly different from canon LOL but I do adore the canon series nevertheless, and I hope you enjoy it :-) (let us know if you do!!!)

I can't thank you enough for sending such juicy feedback abt tokyo vice, especially about the reader! I did find it somewhat stressful trying to balance the comedy of her narration with the horny and angsty and deranged events of the plot, so I'm glad that you liked that aspect of the fic !!! 🥹 and yeah despite all the comedy, she really is a traumatized meow meow. but it's okay, she can now have the normal sex of her dreams with the love of her life - as long as she can survive 4 months of orgasm denial before their wedding 😭

and LOL I love yandere charas with self-awareness so in general I love writing arcs where they love the reader enough to understand that they should let them go. the plot you're describing is sooooo up my alley and I think suo would absolutely have that thought process if the reader were even remotely mentally normal. unfortunately she is equally insane. I guess that is the tragedy of it for suo - he knows that he can never get better, and he also knows that as long as they are together, she can never get better either. fortunately for him, she could not care less ♥️

I do think tokyo vice is complete, but I do want to finish that sakura wip at some point and also write about suo and mc's sex life after they get together (which is very nasty premaritally and then really vanilla and emotional on their wedding night). I want to finish this kitsune suo pwp first though and finish my ffg commitments too 😭

anyway sorry for yapping so much HAHAH I'm just so happy that you commented on all these aspects of the fic!! thank you for reading and for sending such a wonderful ask 🥺💗

[otogariado]

barbie movie was kinda bad to be honest.

if you're super attached and sentimental abt this movie you might not wanna read this bc i don't really pull punches with this one. but here is my first impressions rant lmao. i might come back to it when i've collected my thoughts more and let it stew a little (and maybe see it a second time just by myself at home?)

the way the movie ended was really bad and it left a sour taste in my mouth (📌), but even from just earlier in the movie i already felt like smth was off. and i mean, it's not like i wasn't excited for it even if i tried to avoid a lot of the stuff to not overhype myself (and i usually like going in blind anyway). but even as the movie started i already got the feeling of, oh this is what kind of movie it's gonna be. and for the most part it proves that initial assumption right.

and by "this" i meant like.. a really shallow preachy "feminist" tone. y'know, those kinds of movies/shows that pretend like they're going to say something meaningful about a mature topic but they end up just being shallow and mostly filled with platitudes and such. it's just kinda weird cz i expected more. but it felt like the movie was just using every character as a direct mouthpiece to the audience, and it could still work i guess if they actually had something to say. i think the movie was kind of a mess. i don't know what kind of lesson i was supposed to take away from it at the end, especially when they just start word vomiting at you. at some parts of the movie i wanted to turn my brain off but i still paid attention in case it was gonna pick itself up but like, it really didn't.

i think the rest of the movie was ok. the cinematography was enjoyable still, but the writing was just. so shallow that i couldn't bring myself to fully say i had a blast watching it. it felt like it was more interested in going through a checklist/outline of feminist things to say without being interested in elaborating any of it. it felt like they had too much they wanted to talk about that it just felt scattershot; i feel like it would've had stronger writing if they had just picked a topic to focus on and spent more time with it. they had the chance to explore something more—heck, they had this pretty diverse cast, why exactly did it still need to be focused on "stereotypical barbie" if they really wanted to explore something else? plenty of movies have been successful with an ensemble cast... it wouldn't fix their issue of splitting themselves amongst multiple things they wanted to talk about, but it could help with the focus. maybe have one barbie deal with one topic or throughline then another barbie with another topic, etc. idk. i also found it weird to make a snarky comment about how "if the movie wanted to make a point about barbie not needing to be [conventionally pretty] then they shouldn't have cast margot robbie for this" and like?? you're right lmao. you don't get to be cheeky by saying "guess we were wrong about this one :9 shrug". if they weren't interested in addressing this issue then they shouldn't have just called attention to it in the first place. it just makes it worse. feels like saying "ha! you can't criticize us for this decision because we already did it first."

i also have a problem with the thing near the end of "how about normal barbie? barbie doesn't need to be extraordinary! why can't she just be a regular person?" umm. the point of barbie wasn't to make women feel like they should be extraordinary to be accepted?? the point of barbie is that anyone can BE barbie. you ARE barbie no matter what kind of path you choose. it's kinda like spider-man in a sense that, "anyone can be under the mask." ANYONE can be barbie. i feel like the movie made a strawman out of misconstruing the original intent behind the "empowerment" of barbie. the point of multiple versions of barbie and the different playsets and shit comes from the appeal that she can be ANYTHING you want her to be. who are you fighting against, movie?? that type of misogyny where women should excel otherwise they don't matter certainly exist in the real world but like, i feel like it's a bit disingenuous to pretend it's what the barbie franchise wanted to convey as well. (i am by no means a barbie toyline history expert so i'm open to be corrected on this.)

and the whole... storyline with ken/the kens?? like i get what they're trying to do, have "the boys get a taste of their own medicine", but it's just. It's Just Weird. what did they wanna accomplish with it? i feel like this movie suffers from a shallow understanding of how sexism and misogyny and toxic masculinity actually works... like "oh teehee what if men were the ones oppressed by women instead and women were the ones oppressing men?" but they didn't do anything interesting with it, they just switched sexes and that's it. it's still the same except you just switched the men and women label now. (and the movie has a very black and white view of sex and gender. but that's another point to discuss entirely.)

what makes it worse is that the kens rise to power because they craved more appreciation from the barbies, but then they get knocked down a peg by the barbies and they "lose" like they "deserve". like, what is THIS meant to convey if we try to use it as a parallel for real world feminism, if kens = RL women and barbies = RL men?? that women shouldn't demand to be seen and appreciated more by men and that if they try to take on equal footing and power they should get pushed back down the hierarchy or something??? like WHAT??? and even if you could argue that the kens lost because of their egos/pride/toxic masculinity, it still feels off. because yes, there is a certain "masculine brand" of being too prideful but like. anyone is susceptible to getting too egotistical for their own good. idk??? the way they just handle it is so messy. it's not even like, ambiguous in the "open for interpretation, there are multiple readings of this possible that all try to say something different" kinda way. it's ambiguous in the messy, "we don't know what we wanna say" kind of way.

another thing i wanna talk abt is the teenager character. and the mom character too. i feel like they could've done more with them tbh. they hardly feel like actual characters—the mom got more than her daughter, but the daughter is so stereotypically rebellious "i hate feminine stuff" teenager. so much of this movie feels like telling instead of showing. the mom feels undervalued and depressed and she's struggling. yeah, but so what? we don't actually SEE any of that. even if you can argue that the movie tries to tackle stiff happening IRL so it doesn't need to show any of that any more, that's just bull. you still have to establish the setting in your movie's universe and you still have to do actual character work for your characters even if they're meant to represent real people. ESPECIALLY if they're meant to represent real people. like yeah, we do get some flashbacks of her daughter not appreciating her near the start, but that's it. they're just flashes. and that wasn't her only problem that she mentioned. why didn't we have the mom try to pitch ideas to the executives early on, have that be her introduction scene? have the executives belittle her ideas bc they're misogynistic chauvinist asses? like yeah, from context clues of the whole boardroom being men we can see the irony there and we can tell they don't value women enough to give them positions that high up the ladder. but still, implying the lack of something is not as good as actually demonstrating the lack of something. i feel like it wouldn't have been that hard to include at least one scene of the mom pitching her ideas, and then cut to her scribbling sadly on the desk like she was when she was introduced cz they didn't listen to her.

the sentiment of "they hardly feel like actual characters" extends to the rest of the cast, too. like, i wouldn't expect something substantial and be disappointed if they weren't marketing themselves like "all barbies are important :) this is an ensemble movie :)" like no... not really. none of the other characters matter that much and they didn't get a lot of actual distinguishing features aside from their actual job titles. which just feels reductive lmao. maybe that's the point. maybe they're all just meant to be bit characters. but it just adds to the shallowness of the movie i feel like. just bc the point is they're bit characters doesn't give it a free pass for not going anywhere w any of them. i saw someone say they felt like all the other barbies and kens were mostly just there as set dressing and you know what? that's undeniably true. which AGAIN i maybe wouldn't have as much of a problem with if it weren't for how they marketed this movie.

the previous paragraph also ties into what i mentioned earlier abt the quip they had abt casting margot robbie (and by extension, ryan gosling) as the lead(s). like... why did the lead HAVE to be the "stereotypical barbie"? why did the white, blonde, presumably cishet* barbie (and ken) HAVE to be the leads? hell, the mom and daughter characters are women of color and they don't even do anything with them (aside from some jokes abt how the white dad sucks and is very inconsequential?). i'm just saying... it feels like the diversity casting (not just when it comes to being people of color but also in other areas, like having a barbie in a wheelchair and a pregnant "barbie" (even though she's not barbie) and whatnot) of the other barbies and kens was just that. Token Diversity. fodder for The Typical White Leads. idk. i'll say this again but if they didn't advertise themselves the way they did with all those barbie and ken posters making it sound like they were actually gonna give a shit about any of the other colorful cast of characters then maybe i wouldn't be this harsh with them. this didn't feel like an ensemble movie to me at all.

*(bc i don't think this movie was made with any genuine queer intentions behind it lmao. and ik people latch onto the aroace "coding" of the characters and like. if you're aroace and you like it then power to you. but i think this is more of a "technicality"/"by semantics" type of """coding""" so i honestly don't think it counts, speaking as someone who's some flavour of aroace)

idk i feel like I'M word vomiting now too. maybe i'm picking on this movie too much. but tbh it's just. eh. it just feels shallow. it's a shallow nothing movie tbh. it just feels like a movie filled with quips without any interest in exploring any of the topics they bring up. i wanna list specific examples but tbh it's hard to remember them because of just how overloaded it is, like they just keep shooting talking points at you but there's no meat to any of them. i wouldn't be this harsh on this movie if it didn't hype itself up so much. like, i WANTED to like it coming it. i WAS excited for it ever since it was announced, even though i wasn't a super fan and wasn't buzzing about it as much as most people were online. because it had a lot of potential behind it, but it ended up just. being a mess.

📌 i think it's funny that the ending (as in the last scene of the movie) left most people confused, but the most interesting thing abt it is the takeaway i got from my cis mlm cousin where he's like, "oh barbie chose to be a mother at the end and she's pregnant and that's why she ended up at the gynecologist". like. I Guess??? that can be your take??? but it's a weird scene to end your movie on.

like idk what i'm supposed to feel about it. she's a real human now because she has genitalia?? the genitalia was the last crowning step for her to achieve the "human" status? that's kind of reductive. she's a real woman now because she has a vagina?? that's just straight up transphobic. like. what am i supposed to get as my takeaway here with the last scene??

[lovezbrownies]

Man I want to write something about Lorelai’s brother since I have sm ideas on him. The problem is he just doesn’t fit as a yandere like if anything he’s just like a normal introverted guy the exact opposite of his younger sister really 😭

Like for example he wouldn’t really pine or become a creepy obsessed stalker towards the person he likes like his sister. He does love his sister he truly does. but like even he admits it’s creepy and worries for Lorelai based on what he sees. He once caught his sister stalking the person she likes and needless to say he became appalled since he never expected his sister to be like that. Since a few months ago his sister was normal and now suddenly he sees her being creepy and coming back home later in time?? Like at first he thinks it’s normal since she has a lot of friends compared to him. But when he sees his sister suddenly changing in front of him as she becomes a rollercoaster of emotions. Ex; being happy and loving struck, to gloomy, upset, back to being determined, being annoyed, then being heart broken as the cycle treats basically

But basically Lorelai’s brother is the exact opposite when it comes to personality as he’s a lot more serious, cold but more in an awkward way compared to his sister. As he doesn’t have much friends not because he’s distrustful but because he gets shy and awkward but people think he’s just a gloomy guy when he isn’t 😞 if he ever does fall in love the person he likes has to be the exact opposite of him. Like being bold, outgoing, friendly, and getting out of their way to talk and even ask him out. As like I said Lorelai’s older brother is more serious in his studies to become a medical care giver/a nurse. As sadly he isn’t as talented as Lorelai when it comes to remembering stuff in lectures

anyways that’s all I have to say on the matter as poor guy doesn’t exactly fit the yandere stereotype in my head as he most likely becomes uncomfortable with the thought of ever stalking the person he likes 😭 like his sister does -����️

ps; make Julie’s fathers name Tom and make it a sideline joke about it please I’m begging 🙏

oomf... he doesnt need to be a yandere oomf.. what if i just write abt a regular old guy in a regular old love story

OR maybe he just isnt naturally possessive and obsessive like a typically Yandere maybe his tendancies only peak when someone is too close to darling? Like i definitely see some type of possessiveness, maybe not complete yandere yandere just a lil guy whos jealous a lot of the time! probably A-tier boyfriend material but it would definitely take him a while to get a hold of the boyfriend thing right after getting some tips off the internet (cringed at andrew tate)

moving on from yandere possibilites, I really like this tiny guy he's just so fucking normal I'm into it. like everyone's so fucked in the head i just want to write about this normal regular nothing weird here guy! Maybe a small bad habits but that's it!

I think maybe he'd catch onto whether he feels super super jealous and try to like treat it in a way? Like being open with you, going to a therapist on daddy's money ofc he's not paying for that he's a college student bro. other than that this is the healthiest individual in this universe everyone clap!

there will be moments where he will forget about you, too submerged in his studies to spare a glance at his phone that's drowning in concerned messages from you regarding his weird silence, which eventually leads to you thinking he just doesn't want you anymore, that he's the type of guy to never tell someone that they don't want to be with them, that he's the type of guy to just... abandon you.

So you leave him alone, no calls, no texts, not a single attempt to even glance his way. And this guy is none the wiser give him some time guys pls.

Eventually when his exams are over and he can go to the usual stress he's under then does he notice a strange feeling. He feels like something is missing, that he's... lonely? How could that be? He has his sister, she lives right across from him, he regularly keeps in touch with his father, Tom McCanister, and he doesn't really need any friends to begin with, so what could it be?

Guys give him a break he's a stressed college student, I forgot my dad and family existed and he got mad at me for not calling him for 3 weeks guys it happens pls hes just like me fr

if youre dead set on not forgiving him... well, that's okay, he fucked up, he gets it. he cant blame you for hating his guts after this, cuz he sure hates himself too.

But he will beg to still be your friend, to still text, beg you to promise not to block him on anything, he just... he does love you! in a normal way most definitely but thinking that you'd block him on your socials and he won't be able to know what important events happened in your life without him by your side eats up at him.

Hate him all you want, he doesn't mind, but you will know he still loves and cares for you. It's up to you whether you should take him back or not, if the puppy dog eyes are worth giving into or not.

He won't repeat what he did if you end up taking him back. He won't change at all other than being more attentive, replying to your texts and calls faster while also texting first. He wants to make it up to you, he hurt you and you gave him a second chance, he wouldn't dare ruin it by forcing you to do things like his siter, or threaten your social standing like his sister, or treat you like a stuffed bear to constantly suffocate like his sister.

In fact he's repulsed by her behavior a lot of the time, condemning her in his mind yet giving in whenever she comes crying about something her crush said that upset her again. Always comforting her but never telling her to continue,

"It's okay... Maybe you should listen to them and leave--"

"NO!!"

"..."

He's the perfect man. Sometimes a little too perfect for his own good but wonderful nonetheless.

(also i was so confused about the dad being named Tom till i was scrolling down my blog looking for something that I remember.)

(Tom is real, Tom is successful, and Tom is a mary-sue 100% I'm going to make him so op you guys will hate me)

[rexregistries]

im quitting smut & everything nsfw!!

like straight up, cold-turkey, quitting. so far, we're 20 hours in.

heres why

this is gonna get REALLLL personal, buckle in.

i know not many ppl will see this, but its nice to just get it out.

tw: online sexual grooming and me being a minor thru it all

basically, im gonna talk abt how this all started (i should REALLY be doing homework right now, but i need to get it off my chest, and i only have 1 assignment left)

please bear with me! i only recently remembered all of this, and most of it is still terribly foggy, and hopefully shall stay that way.

when i was 8, i entered into a friendship with a 26-year-old man on roblox. we met thru our mutual like for percy jackson & the olympians, and i met him on a pjo role-playing game on roblox. mind you, roblox filter about 8 years ago was almost nonexistent.

the man, sam (found this out years into my "relationship" w him, to me he was cookie [cookieflame546]), asked my age when i first met him. i knew about stranger danger, obviously i did, i was born a girl. but i gave him my age anyway. so he knew.

this relationship lasted 5 years. 8 years old to 13 years old.

it started okay! we'd roleplay together, nothing too bad! the real trouble began when one of my ocs went into a romantic relationship with one of his ocs. he asked me if i knew anything about sex (the deed, the dirty, the devils tango, he called it something else that i dont remember) and i said no. obviously i didnt, i was 8.

he offered to teach me stuff, and i said ok. i trusted him for some reason. (NO GIRL STOPPP)

and boy. BOY, did he teach me stuff.

he bought a private server JUST to have sex w me. i'd go online, roleplay a little with my other online friends (who were my age, maybe 1 or 2 years older), and then once sam got on, i'd go to the private server. it happened maybe three times a week, i think? we'd roleplay w other people normally most of the time. i got discord at 10, because he asked me to.

when it started getting really, really, actually terrible (more than it already was) was when i got into the hamilton fandom in 2020. (also, since covid was happening, i was on everyday, so we interacted a lot more)

"kal, y is hamilton important?" well, when i got into hamilton, i got into wattpad. when i got into wattpad, i got into smut. when i got into smut, i got into actual fucking porn. at the ripe age of 12 years old.

i was so proud of my newfound knowledge. i wanted to show him all i knew. the sex got worse. he'd find ways to bypass the increasingly strong filter, and so would i.

the only thing im glad for is that he never sent nsfw pics, and neither did i.

it started tapering off once i got into 8th grade. i had more homework, i couldnt be on as much. we still had those little sessions, but they were more infrequent.

(BUT, in his place, came another friend. his name is alex. hes a year older than me, and we roleplayed almost exclusively sexually together. outside of roleplay, we would also message sexually on discord. some of got disturbing when i look back on it [he said he would find my address, climb into my window, and fuck me. bro i am 12 years old]

me and alex fell out of contact for a long time [something something i used to be really homophobic and our entire friendgroup, excluding him and i, was queer]. we say hi hello when hes online on discord, but we dont talk anymore)

slowly, me and sam went back into a regular friendship. we didn't talk for months, other than the occasional hi, hello, hru, im good. i stopped roleplaying, he didnt.

and then my brain decided "yooooo wait this was kinda bad.......im gonna make them forget it >:]"

and i did! i forgot about it. and then in freshmen year, at a winter camp for school, it all came rushing back. i cried about it to one of my closest friends (they moved, but we still talk. if ur seeing this joey [ur prob not], the second im 18 we r gonna see each other istg!!!!), and they told me to block him. i did.

i havent spoken to him since.

and then my brain did another little silly and said "im gonna make them forget it again!! >:]"

and guess what! i forgot about it again.

until i sat by myself, just having finished a brutal smut fic, crying, because, man, why the fuck was i like this? why cant i stop reading and watching and looking at this horrible shit? because it was ruining me! it really was! (it still is, but we're working on it)

andddddddd it came rushing back again.

finally, an answer! thats why im like this!

my most formative years were filled with sex! thats why im obsessed with it!

i know im partly to blame. i enabled myself by actively looking for nsfw. but im trying to fix that.

thank u for ur time :]

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hi!!!! kicks my feet id like to see ur wiwi first death thoughts pls

- @suckinitup

MY BELOVED MUTUAL SUCKINITUP HOW ARE YOU. HEAD IN HANDS. I LOVE WILLIAM WISP. FUCK. i think abt him constantly but i almost never write down my thoughts because if i think abt him for too long i make myself sick. like fr. i love him too much. ouuguhghhg going to just straight copy paste this under a cut because it is SO LONG sorry for any typos or sentences that sound weird out of context bc these were originally discord messages:

ohhhhhhh wiwi first death. god . i have so many fucking emotions about wiwi first death. before i get into this im going to say fork found in kitchen to myself because so much of how i view wiwi comes from a VERY SPECIFIC type of dp fanon that it would take me 12 years to actually explain in detail so im gonna say just trust me and understand that william wisp is literally just a fuckign. walmart rebrand of a type of danny characterization i really wish people would just oc-ify (thank you charlie slimecicle for doing this for me)

okayyyyyy okay okay okay. i love there being like. a STARK fucking difference between william before the fall and william after the fall. william before the fall was so much... brighter. in every sense of the word. he looks ALIVE because he is! hes just a . regular fuckign 16 yr old boy. that weird kid in your math class. and yeah he has . suuuuper undiagnosed untreated depression but like its a small rural town thats normal i think. hes got his little group of friends to spend hours with going on cool hikes and reading about the paranormal at the library and sitting in circles talking about conspiracy theories and things. i think UPP is. awesome. i hesitate to get too attached to them in headcanon world just because i dont want bizly to then introduce us to them in s3 and i have to reframe my whole mindset . whatever. i have vague ideas of who they are but the important bit is like. i just think theyre really good friends. and they spend a lot of time together. and william is kind of their defacto leader because... he is the only one of them who actually has truesight. they all believe in ghosts and monsters and stuff but william is the only one who can actually SEE THEM. like. constantly. and thats a lot. and even though they believe him they dont really like.... understand. which kind of makes william feel disconnected from basically everyone around him at all times. i dont think truesight is probably a well-known thing?? so when he was little and started crying to his parents about monsters they thought he just had bad night terrors and then he just................. hes 16 now and still talks about it (less so now, hes learned the horrors of middle- and hihg-school Shame and not to be Super Weird All The Time) so its more like. hmm theres something Wrong here but we dont know what and we dont know how to help. other people (you included ros) have said this better than me but goddddd you knowww the dynamic btwn william and his parents is rough. they love him! so much! and they want to support him! and william loves them too! but they dont GET IT they dont UNDERSTAND and its like. you know what i mean. when you get a mental health diagnosis and suddently everyone is treating you like youre made of glass and nobody really knows what to say around you anymore or whatever. you know what i mean. that.

ANYWAY ALL THIS IS FUCKING. PREAMBLE. GOD. the fall. man. i think there is a STRICT UPP rule of "dont go into the whispering woods alone" and thats the case for the ENTIRETY of their friendship. DONT go into the woods alone. william knows exactly what kind of shit lives in the woods and he knows hes the only one that can reliably see them and he doesnt want anyone to get hurt. MINIMUM of two members for whispering woods investigations. (this is not a town rule or anything. i think the adults of deadwood are aware that its a weird place but it all gets brushed off like . aha everywhere has quirks! and the UPP are like. the conspiracy kids that know the Real Stuff going on. very..... house of anubis is the closest Real Media vibe i can think of rn. UPP pre-fall is like the closest u will get to . scooby doo style monster of the week shenanigans that arent really super serious because theyre safe as they can be about it! bunch of kids doing a ouija board. you know how it is)

uhhhhhhh and then william starts acting weird! i think all of them are on a whispering woods investigation together and theyre all walking together and then william starts lagging behind, staring out at something none of them can see, kind of like. zoned out. tranfixed. and when theyre like "will what do you see?" he shakes his head and snaps out of it like. huh? what? nothing lets keep walking. (it was a wisp btw. obviously) and there are a couple more incidents of him doing this same thing on that one hike until eventually they decide to call it because theyre not finding anything else and tbh william youre kind of freaking us out here. will you be okay? and hes like yeah of course i will guys its nothing i swear. and then they all go home.

and thennnn without telling anyone a couple days later, william goes on a walk in the woods alone. he broke his OWN rule . on that hike he saw wisps and they were just too far away to see clearly off in the distance between the trees but he just Kept Seeing Them and the curiosity was just nagging and nagging away in his brain so much he had to know what they were (thats wisp magic babyyyy you know the mythology around them i dont need to explain that to you) . (and also there is a fair amount of. lack of self preservation because of the previously mentioned untreated unmanaged depression but if i start talking about that in detail i will overshare and also be soooooo emo forreal. know that that is an EXTREMELY important part of this decision but im also going with a little more of the teen mystery angle with this rn. bloody gory mental illness is for after he falls) so he packed his monster investigation backpack and he just. left. didnt even tell his parents he was going he just walked out of the house after school and went into the woods. and he saw the wisps again, but now that he was alone they were Closer and Brighter and they would move whenever he got close and then there was a trail of them ! like they were Leading him somewhere

and i think with some of the monsters he sees he can feel whetehr or not theyre out to hurt him . and the wisps dont feel like that. they feel... well. cold,becaue theyre ghosts, but also warm at the same time? inviting. they dont want to hurt him (they do) they just want to show him something and william "too curious for his own good" wisp wants to know what that thing is! i think he knows the woods really really well because he spends a lot of time out there. so somewhere far away in the back of his mind he kind of knows what theyre leading him toward. but he still jsut Has To Know, so he keeps jogging, keeps hopping over fallen logs and around low branches and theres always a little blue flame juuuuust out of reach so he keeps going . and then he gets to the cliff. its like a full on. burst out of the trees there is a wisp juuuust on the edge where the ground falls away. i think he trips on a root and falls flat on his stomach before he can completely just run off. it gives him a second to catch his breath, to look out and See where he is. for things to kind of come crashing down on him. if he hadnt tripped he wouldve run right off the edge and fallen and it was close enough of a near death experience for it to scare him. but the wisp is still there, and its the biggest brightest one hes seen yet and if he looks around he would see it looks like the entire forest behind him is glowing with tiny blue fires like theyre all watching him. i dont think hes really. thinking coherent thoughts at this point he just kind of. realizes now that hes out here he doesnt really want to go home. he doesnt want to go back to school, doesnt want to eat lunch in the bathroom and think about his brothers empty bedroom across the hall and have his parents look at him with such a weird mix of love and awkward pity and he knows his friends say they believe him but he can see it in their eyes sometimes that the things he says scares them and he really just has been a freak his whole life.... and he realizes as hes thinking all of this he's gotten to his feet and walked toward the wisp on the edge of the cliff. and hes just standing there feet on the very edge staring at it. its floated away now, hanging over the drop at eye level with him but its probably still close enough he could just... reach out.... and try to grab it...... and his feet slip on the rocks and JUST as he closes his hand around the wisp it almost feels like something pushes him (probably just the wind.. right?) and he falls.

he does Not remember hitting the bottom thank god. he remembers falling, and falling, and in the fall he realized he was still holding the wisp he grabbed in his hand and so he pulled it close to his chest as he fell and it almost felt like it was burning him but it was *cold* and .. then he woke up! he woke up in a misty foggy field in what looked to be the middle of the night but if he looks at the sky too long it looks *weird* its just black and empty and there are weird bluish swirls in it that could be clouds but look different, and there are trees in the distance but whenever he tries to walk toward them it feels like theyre moving the same distance away so it never really feels like hes getting anywhere.. and he trips over what he thinks is a rock and lands in the foggy grass and looks behind him and realizes *oh my god thats a gravestone-* and then he wakes up again, for real this time !!! (<< that scene is like. thats His Island. thats his lair or whatever. remember when mal first took him to the spirit world and they were in the graveyard and mal told him that was his. im going with dp style spirit world lairs and this one is williams. hear me out)

aaand. when he wakes up for real. he is at. the bottom of the cliff. EVERYTHING hurts. everything hurts so fucking badly but also everything is like... weirdly numb? and he doesnt really remember that weird dream with the fog and the trees and the grave its all kind of fading as he wakes up more and more and ... his hands are empty hes not holding the wisp anymore. he doesnt know how much time has passed. was any of that even real or did he just have some kind of nervous breakdown and jump off a fuckign cliff? i think he fucking sits there and cries about it for a loooooong time. and everythihng hurts but its gonna start getting dark soon he NEEDS to go home before it gets dark, his parents will start to worry about him and he doesnt want to do that to them. also he might need to get to a hospital or something but hey! he can move! he can stand up and walk! so he must not have any broken bones or anything he just. is bruised and sore probably. and so he. sooooo slowly. so slowly. makes his way back up the cliff (theres. a path. he doesnt have to climb i promise) and back home. alone. no wisps or anything, just william alone with his thoughts. which is . goddd its bad. thats why it takes him so long. ohhh my god what am i even gonna fucking say when i get there. hi mom and dad sorry i needed to clear my head and follow some weird ghosts and in the process i tried to kill myself and it didnt work? fuck?

so by the time he gets home... huh. the door is locked thats weird. its not fully dark yet and his parents know he stays out late with his friends a lot of the time so they usually leave the door unlocked for him. so he knocks. and his mom answers the door and takes one look at him and just fucking breaks down into tears. and so his dad comes in from around the corner to see whats going on and he starts crying too. and william is so. freaked out by this. guys whats wrong what happened. turns out he has been missing for. two weeks. nobody knew where he was or what happened and the woods are alive and weird and anyone who went out in a search part just ended up getting lost themselves and came back like an hour later with nothing. they thought he was dead. (which. i mean. he was. but like. not in the way they thought). so theres this big huge emotional family group hug or whatever with william all dirty with leaves and twigs in his hair and torn clothes and mud on his hands and feet and his mom and dad are just like oh thank god youre alive thank god youre home what happened to you and... man. euguhhhhahghhhh. emo. sorry. god. head in hands .

i thiiink. he kind of ends up telling them what happened. he leaves out the wisps though. his watered down version is.. i just needed to clear my head, i went out into the woods, i got lost, i tripped and fell. (remember how william downplays it for dakota when he asks. i tripped and fell) he doesnt tell them about the wisps but like. that almost makes it worse becuase they KNOW about his bad mental health even if they dont fully understand it and.... this version makes it sound suspiciously way more like it was just a direct suicide attempt. which. william IMMEDIATELY regrets as soon as it leaves his mouth. but thats his story now. so everything kind of... goes back to normal? normal ish??? as nrmal as they can i fucking guess?? for a couple days and he has to go back to school and. god it fucking sucks. gossip . you know how it is. hey that kid tried to kill himself and got lost in the woods for two weeks what a weirdo he freaks everyone out . that kind of stuff. so hes more isolated than EVER and even his friends wont really talk to him although theyre more... sad. than anything else. they just dont really know what to say. theyre teenagers. idk. uhhhhhh then one day he reallyreallly REALLY doesnt want to be somewhere so he hides in the bathroom and.. doesnt realize it at first but he goes invisible. and its not until a couple other kids come in and leave and dont acknowledge him at all that he notices something is weird (he feels bone chillignly cold but like. its a shitty old school building in the very beginnings of winter of course its gonna be cold) and he looks in the mirror and realizes he cant see himself. and after that more and more of his powers kind of. slowly manifest? and he is VERY bad at controlling them and he plans not to tell anyone at first (hes already enough of a freak) until one day his dad finds him like. halfway through the floor in his bedroom and its this . kind of funny ridicuous but also really scary moment. and william has a realization at some point like. oh. i think i *died*. and auughhghg. i think thats all i ahve for now. but . man. when i tell you i think about this soo fucking much man.

[lvebug]

hmm good morning! all of these eyes emoji asks have got me doing a lot of npc work (yippee!!!) so one of my favorite early and also one of my silliest headcanons is andie and peter's relationship!

if you're not familiar with comics peter parker then one thing you need to know is that this man literally somehow actually has so much game like he's dated everyone and slept with twice that. so if we're throwing another female spider around his age into the mix well then..... let's just hope dan slott doesn't get his hands on her! but knowing what i know abt comics it's inevitable that they date. anyway andie and may are dear friends and coworkers at FEAST. and my may is an old jewish woman which means she is nudgey, always trying to feed andie, and always trying to set her up with her nephew who is a "nice jewish boy. he's studying to be a scientist" (there's also just lots of regular talking about peter.) peter and andie meet through may/FEAST before learning each others' identities. there's a little bit of an awkward "so is your aunt also trying to set you up with me or am i the only one hearing about this?" and an "uh yeah, uh. yeah. sorry about that!" and that's mostly that.

but it's may and it's comics so eventually for her sake and because they're both lonely they do very briefly have an i can't even call it a relationship they have a situationship that basically consists of them going on a date to appease may and then like pathetically trying to date while mutually being in (what they believe to be) unrequited love with other people. they're very chill and it ends quite normally because their lives are too weird for it not to and also mostly they were just lonely friends pretending it was something more. 👍

[johannestevans]

i was reading your post abt asab at the doctor and my brain tried to go into solution mode as it is wont to do, but i realized like. there is no solution. at least not one that isn't a complete overhaul of the medical system, including research fields.

i've been on t for a year as of tomorrow, and a few months in i noticed my adhd medication stopped working. it got so bad that when i would take it, i would have to fight to keep myself awake. i couldn't figure out what was going on and my doctor just said 'just keep taking it and maybe it'll level out.' several months later, i still felt like absolute shit when i took it to the point where i felt better when i didn't take it. i asked to up the dose but she said it would be 'too much of a shock to my system.' i eventually just stopped taking it because even though i barely function without it, i didn't function at all with it on that dose. i talked to a friend last week who is also on t and he said 'oh yeah your dose is too low. your metabolism can change on t, so it's likely you need to up your dose.' so like not only was this a situation where if i was a cis man my concerns likely would have been addressed immediately, but it was a failure of my doctor to actually understand how trans bodies on hrt work and what they need. so how exactly would having "afab" on my chart have helped??? bc there is no difference in initial dosage between male and female patients, the starting dose is usually 30mg across the board (my doc had me on 30mg initially then lowered my dose to 20mg after i lost access to it for a month??????), the thing that affected me wasn't my fucking vagina or ovaries, it was a change in my endocrine system!!!

and i feel like this heavy reliance on asab makes doctors lazy. they don't do regular blood tests, they don't test your metabolism, your hormone levels, they just assume based on the f or m what your levels should be, or they see that you're fat so they assume you have high bp, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc. (cannot tell you how many times i've had nurses take my bp numerous times bc they refused to believe it was average, and i still keep getting hounded abt my blood sugar and cholesterol despite the fact that every single test has come up normal.) like i don't think any doctor has ever even bothered giving me blood tests until i started t, they just assumed from the f on my chart and my body size. i remember getting put on metformin when i was young with no blood tests simply because i was fat, and i still have kidney issues because of it.

anyway sorry for ranting in your inbox, that was kind of all over the place, but your post just really struck a chord and reminded me how much i hate the medical system.

YEAH EXACTLY. I'm so sorry, it's just like... ARGH.

Like especially the weight problems and like... Doctors desperately want to go based off of people's ASAB and what their weight is and not what's normal for them! Same for racial assumptions, especially assumptions doctors will make about Black people and anyone who's dark-skinned and/or has natural hair.

Plus disability! Addiction! Mental health issues! They'll just make assumptions based off any other aspect of their identity - any excuse to dodge talking to the patient and treating them like they're a human being, or acting like as a doctor they're a human being rather than a god and commander.

Like, all these specific metrics rather than what the actual patient's experiences are, and what they're saying. A lot of medical professionals just think the world will end if they actually talk to and listen to one of their patients, and it's infuriating!

[dirtbra1n]

heyo dirtbrain I got two for you for that ship ask game. first is wangxian. second is zhongli & childe bc i know nothing abt genshin impact and also bc the opinions i do have kind of relate to both of these asks which is fun

hello kiri Really tickled by your second selection here. I will try to be brief, (1/137)

literally every single time I think about mdzs I have this constant incessant need to say out loud I DO LIKE WANGXIAN. to my ghost audience. because I really really do. but I’m not Compelled. there are things that compel me and wangxian’s not doing much of any of it. it’s all there already….. which is . where’s the fun in that for me…….. granted though I still haven’t read the properly localized novels yet. started reading the first one the other day but it’s at the bottom of the priority list I guess you could add this one. because there are other more pressing issues at hand. I guess it’s. I’m a terrible marriage (complicated definition) fan and wangxian are so Regular marriage. good for them! but come on guys…..

Also colored in large part probably by the way mdzs fandom was in like 2019/20 and the shredding of lan zhan’s character . different rabbithole different day I hope it’s gotten better in the time I’ve been away . I do still miss my friend wei wuxian though They could never make me hate you king…….

zhongli childe genshin impact though Ha ha. ohhh man.

boring people yaoi is the worlds most egregious crime to me and I’m NOT kidding. I think I’ve mentioned to you kiri my extensive personal genshin mindpalace. and these two are both in there as two of four major players. probably also mentioned the debaucherous tilt this entire mindpalace has happening.

the point I’m not getting at here but am steering towards anyway is that childe knows that zhongli has the power to crush him and the earth he stands on with a lifted pinky and is so into it because he’s a violence freak. and so he’s constantly trying to push zhongli’s buttons, trying to see if he can move the mountain if he just shoves hard enough, shoves in the right way, at the right time. not that there’s not also like. resentment. some complicated feelings bubbling. I wouldn’t care at all if there wasn’t. mindpalace wouldn’t exist if there wasn’t. another rabbithole for another day.

anyway zhongli feels far too old for this. consciously. he feels too old for this consciously I don’t think the boring yaoi people are wrong on principle when they put that old man in Situations. I do so myself. they’re just wrong because they’re not putting enough struggle into it. because I think that zhongli knows what childe’s after and is determined not to give him anything. and yet simultaneously will see him in the right lighting or covered in gore and think I want to eat him. no quicker way to feel your age. he was a martial god, you know. it’s not that he’s averse to violence or the eroticism of it on principle you can’t be a martial god who is Normal about violence. but if you see this twenty-something human being who is trying to rile you up, trying to get you where he wants you, and you let him… you have to be a much kinder, more feeble minded man than zhongli. work harder, gongzi. try harder.

he’s also just not immune to it is the thing. pride be damned the actual thing stopping him is probably the ‘feeling like a cradle robber’ thing

all that said on this topic I’m citing one of my favorite tweets ever