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that-banana-headed-bovine · 4 years ago

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Knight Rider 2000

WARNING

This post contains spoilers for Knight Rider 2000, the 1991 film which attempts to expand on the canonical universe of Knight Rider (1982-1986). Key word, attempts. I know that this film came out almost 30 years ago at this point, but I also know that this fandom grows a little bit every day, and there will ALWAYS be people who haven’t seen every episode (myself included), let alone every movie! I happened to catch it on Charge! for Hoff's birthday (yes I'm hella late posting this LOL) with my good friend @trust-doesnt-oxidize, and boy let me tell you, it was… Something.

From here on out, I’m not holding back from sharing my impression of the film based on specific details from it, so if you want a spoiler-free viewing, go watch it and come back!! Or… don’t, it’s kind of awful. I can only think of one thing in canon that it may spoil, and even that appears in early Season 2 and is fairly minor, so if you are curious about it, I HIGHLY recommend watching it BEFORE reading this. The scenes with the most impact are touching because they come as a surprise, so even if you know the general plot of the film, I would recommend watching it first.

Also this is really rambley because I have a lot of emotions about this series and, by extension, this movie. I really don’t blame you if you click away here, but if you DO read it all the way through, I would love to hear anything you would like to add, agree or disagree!

OKAY! Knight Rider 2000 is a movie that exists! And I hate it!

The film sets up an interesting argument between two groups of people whose names I don’t remember because they were boring (except for Devon, I know his name at this point). In this interpretation of the “future,” gun control has been implemented to,,, some extent, I can’t entirely tell if there have been some policies implemented across the country or if it is all localized in this one city that even the Wikipedia page for this movie doesn’t bother to mention. And no, this city is NOT in California for once! Usually I would be happy to see a change of setting, but considering that everything in this film felt so foreign to the Knight Rider that we know, it would have been nice to at least have a familiar setting. Anyway, gun control stuff. The debate between whether these gun control policies are ethical or not is very interesting. Innocent people are dying because the wrong people have guns and the police are rendered useless when they themselves don’t have access to weapons. This argument happens to support my perspective on the issue, so I appreciated how it took a look at that side WITHOUT it sounding like we are crazy murderer people, but I digress. It makes sense that the ban happened in the first place, because much like how the main conflict in Pixar’s latest film Incredibles 2 revolves around society’s over-reliance on superheroes, I could see Knight Rider’s society becoming dependent on technology to save them. It can be easy to seem like the most advanced tech in that society is present only in KITT and KIFT, and to SOME extent that is true. However, Shawn does say that it is relatively common in this society for people to have memory chips in their brain. That counts for something. And the police DO have a defense mechanism according to the Wikipedia page for this movie, it’s just nonlethal.

So as you can see, I am very interested in the conflict this world sets up. I sure hope they expand on these conflicting ideologies throughout the film, giving us a clearer idea of why the bans were set in place AND giving us insight into what exactly has caused some revolt against it. That subject is seemingly timeless, and with how decently the introduction tackled it, I have some confidence that this film could pull it off in a tasteful way. Wouldn’t that be amazing? It’s some of the most serious subject matter Knight Rider has ever tackled. It’s so interesting!

Yeah they pretty much abandon that plot in place of a very, very bad copy of the original show’s “Hearts of Stone” (season 1, episode 14). Illegal guns exist and are bad, but we don’t really know why. I may know a little better if I had been listening closer, but I was trying to not get so bored that I missed Kitt’s parts!

At some point during this sequence, we are introduced to Shawn, a happy police officer who is happy to have a family on a happy birthday. And then she gets shot! Due to head force trauma rendering her unconscious, she’s sent to the hospital. She goes in for a risky operation that miraculously saves her life against all odds.

Then, Michael wakes up with Garthe Knight’s face and hears a great story about how one man CAN make a difference!… I mean what?

Jokes aside, it’s kind of amazing how much this very Michael-esque sequence comes across very differently. It’s almost the perfect example of why I don’t like this movie. The surgery is weirdly realistic for a Knight Rider entity. There’s blood and screens and surgeons and a sterile white room for operations. Michael woke up in a Medieval castle with one doctor and two random people he’d never met at his side. Shawn’s situation clearly makes more sense, but is it half as fun and whimsical? No, no it’s not. This whole film comes across as depressing to me, and it’s only worsened by what’s to come. Apparently, she had KITT’s CPU/Microprocessor/something sciencey implanted into her brain. That’s especially strange since all that I saw was a yellow liquid being injected directly into her skull! That’s a lovely image, and definitely gave me the idea that there was a full computer chip going in there??? (It may have actually been explained more clearly, and I just looked away because eek weirdly bloody operation scene) This caused her personality to do a full 180. So, Shawn is going to be fun, snarky, and full of personality like KITT is because they share memories now! Right? Right???

I think they tried to do that, but it came across flat. So flat. She speaks in a purposefully monotone, robotic voice and delivers downright mean comments that leave Michael and KITT scratching their heads. She seems to lack basic empathy until her own memories start flooding back, and at that point, the emotions she show seem so foreign to the character we see that it’s not remotely believable. You want me to believe that this robotic woman with -10 personality points started nearly crying after one string of memories, albeit a very traumatic one, entered her mind? This would have been believable if she was entirely changed afterwards, coming across as far more human, but that was only the case sometimes. It also would have been believable if the film had the same energy that the original Knight Rider show does, where suspending one’s disbelief is necessary to make it past the opening credits. However, this movie tries to be so grounded that the kind of dramatic beats that would work in the original seem forced here.

Shawn is not the only character who I take issue with, though. Let’s start with the most potentially problematic change from the usual canon in the entire film: KITT’s personality. I have very mixed feelings on how he is portrayed. If you’ve seen as much as a spattering of quotes from this movie, you probably could sense that KITT was… off. When KITT first comes on screen, he slams Michael with a wave of insults, and none of them come off as their normal joking around. However, I don’t necessarily have a problem with that because he has the proper motivation to be very, very upset. He is sitting on a desk as a heap of loosely connected parts that have just enough power to make the signature red scanner whir and make an oddly terrifying red light eyeball thing (Hal???) move. The first thing he hears is Devon nonchalantly saying something along the lines of, “I’m afraid he was recycled” to explain why KITT has been deactivated for OVER A DECADE and is not currently in anything that moves (my Charge! stream thing lagged at this point but @trust-doesnt-oxidize has since told me that Devon DID appear upset about KITT's being sold, but KITT likely wouldn't have heard that and what Devon said seemed to be moreso directed at HOW the chip was sold and not the fact that it was sold in the first place). KITT is justifiably mad, and if they had kept KITT’s actions in character while his emotions said otherwise, I would have no problem with it at all.

However, once KITT’s CPU is somehow implanted into Michael’s Chevrolet, KITT does not act in character. Shawn drives, not Michael, so it stands to reason that he would not necessarily listen to her. She stole his CPU, his life for over a decade. KITT does tend to listen to human companions, regardless of whether he is programmed to or not, but I can see where this would be an exception. However, Michael soon intercedes and essentially tells him to cut it out. Based on everything that the original Knight Rider told us, KITT no longer has a choice of whether to listen or not. Michael is ultimately the one who calls the shots because of KITT’s very programming. And yet, in this scene, KITT doesn’t listen to Michael and apparently gets so angry that he downright stops functioning. Because that happens all the time in the original series!

And if you’re wondering where I got the conclusion that KITT frustrated his circuits to the point where they could no longer work, he said that. KITT. Admitted to having feelings. In fact, he did not just admit to being angry in the moment. He told Michael that, while it may seem like he is an emotionless robot, he does have a “feelings chip.” A FEELINGS CHIP-

I am for recognizing KITT’s obvious emotions as much as the next guy. I think they are often overlooked when discussing his character. While I don’t think that real artificial intelligence will ever reach the level of human consciousness, the entire energy of Knight Rider comes from playing with this concept by portraying an AI character who clearly emotes interacting with a human who doesn’t seem to know that. But the thing that makes this show feel so sincere is that neither character plays too heavily into that trope. While not always knowing how much KITT feels and by extension hurting those feelings alarmingly often, Michael recognizes it enough to work in concert with KITT, apologize for his more major flubs, and consider KITT a friend. And KITT subverts the trope by never recognizing that he has feelings to begin with. He will say that he cannot feel sadness but, in the next breath, say that something upset him. He will say he cannot hold a grudge only to immediately rattle off a string of insults directed at the person he clearly has a grudge on. The show is magic in how these two characters display a subtle chemistry that always has room to grow because both characters are slowly coming to see each other for who they truly are and supporting one another along the way. From what I can tell, the original show never fully concludes that arc, and it may even start regressing after Season 1. However, we can feasibly see how Michael could slowly come to understand that KITT really does feel things just as much as he does. And we can imagine the relief KITT would feel knowing that Michael was never bothered by that possibility.

So, you can see where I have a big problem with KITT spelling it out so plainly. The audience gets full confirmation about what has been displayed to us through nuanced hints throughout the series, which sounds a lot more satisfying than it really ends up being in this film. But worse than an underwhelming conclusion to a thrilling story, Michael knows it plain as day. There is very little buildup to KITT admitting this. He barely even sounds moved. Instead, in this movie, the “feelings chip” is a fact of life that does not need to be covered up in the slightest. Michael himself doesn’t really… react. He just kind of nods along, as if he’s saying, “Huh, makes sense, alright.” After everything these two have been through, if there really was such a simple explanation for why KITT is the way he is… why arguments went south, why the mere mention of a Chevrolet was enough to get a seemingly jealous response, why inconsequential things like music taste and gambling were subjects of debate, why KITT had always acted so exaggeratedly dismissive when topics of emotional significance struck a chord, why every little sarcastic banter had a hint of happiness until it didn’t… don’t you think Michael would do something? Whether that something would be a gentle, “I always knew that, pal”; a shocked, “Why didn’tchya tell me sooner?!”; or even a sarcastic, disbelieving, “Yeah, right” is up to interpretation. But there would be something.

And yet, even that concept is flawed. We learn a lot from KARR’s inclusion in the original series, and what I take away from it boils down to a simple sentiment. FLAG never meant for their AIs to be human. I do realize that directly contradicts what Devon says within this film, but I see that as another way for the film to steer the plot in this direction, not as a tie in to the original. When Wilton says that one man CAN make a difference, he means that. He isn’t considering that KITT is just as much a person as Michael. He’s not seeing that, at the end of the day, teamwork is what makes the show work, even if Michael is the glue that holds it together. So, I think that to say that there is a “feelings chip” is to disregard the entire point of the original, that in this world life finds a way of inserting itself and that KITT’s (and KARR’s for that matter) humanity is an anomaly, not the rule. At the end of the day, KITT’s humanity can’t be explained away with science. And really, I don’t think it should be explained away at all. The show has had an amazing trend of showing us how KITT feels, in all its unorthodox glory, alongside private moments that had me sobbing like a baby. The movie should just be like a longer, more complex episode of Knight Rider… Although I cannot pinpoint exactly how it should be done in the context of this film, I know there are ways that Michael could have been shown that KITT feels rather than being told.

One last complaint, albeit a more minor one, is the idea that he has to listen to what Shawn says over Michael's authority. I have spent a decent amount of time thinking about this one point, which has caused a lot of the delay in posting this. There's multiple reasons why this flies right in the face of what is canon in the original series. Perhaps the most obvious of these problems is the fact that, in the original pilot episode, it's made very clear that KITT can't assume control of the Knight 2000 without Michael's express permission unless Michael is unconcious. Devon makes it quite clear in this episode that KITT is programmed specifically to listen to Michael, not just anyone who happens to be piloting the vehicle at the time. In case there was any doubt about this, KITT ejects two people who are attempting to steal him later in the episode (well, ok, later in the two-parter, I don't know if it was the same episode or not). The show isn't SUPER strict about this in future episodes, but it does at least acknowledge Michael's authority in a few pivotal moments throughout Season 1 (I can't comment on episodes that I haven't seen yet, but I suspect that this pattern continues). Of all the rules set up throughout the series, it actually seems to be the most loyal to this one. One moment that stands out to me is in Trust Doesn't Rust when KITT attempts to stop Michael from causing a head-on collision with KARR, but Michael then overrides him and the climax unfolds. If one of the most iconic moments in the series is caused by this one bit of programming, to throw it out in the film is to disrespect the basis of the original series.

Speaking of KARR, he provides yet another reason niglecting this detail is such a big problem. From what we can tell, KARR isn't programmed to one specific driver (at least, not anymore[?]), and so he can override anyone in the pilot's seat. This is something they seem to highlight in TDR as well, although not so plainly as the previous point. KARR ends up ditching Tony to gain speed and get an upper hand in the chase with Michael and KITT (although a scene they deleted would have made this a mUCH MORE SENSIBLE ACTION THAT R E A L L Y ISN'T A BETRAYAL but y'know what this post isn't about that) whereas KITT has to listen to Michael even to his own detriment. If this one feature is indeed one of the major things that separates KITT from KARR, the idea that Shawn can override all of that cheapens the original conflict between KITT and KARR.

...Well okay, let's be real, KARR was never that compelling as an antagonist to begin with because he's a LOYAL SWEETIEPIE-- I'll stop.

And finally, we have the biggest, most bizarre reason that this is a problem:

If Shawn can override Michael's authority, that means KITT can override Michael's authority.

Why? This would be the first time (outside of episodes where some sort of reprogramming or mind control was involved) in the series that KITT had not only listened to another human instead of Michael, but also listened to that person OVER Michael. The only difference I can see between Shawn and quite literally anyone else in the show's history is that Shawn has KITT's chip implant thing. If that's the reason her opinion has more credence than Michael's, then wouldn't that mean KITT's own opinion has that authority? If that is the case, literally every example I've gone through in the last couple of paragraphs is not just challenged but rather negated entirely.

The most frustrating thing about this scene is that it simply didn't have to happen. Michael could have gone along with KITT's plan, showing him (and us) that he does trust his former partner even after all these years. Shawn could have convinced Michael to go along with it using her... feelings chip. Blegh. Or we could have had a stubborn Michael force this scene to be delayed, likely improving the pacing overall. Maybe we could have even seen a frustrated and emotionally exhausted Shawn wait until Michael is not in the car and then plead KITT to give her the truth, no matter what Michael says. We have seen KITT control his actions without Michael's input plenty of times, and we could have seen some more of his humanity show through if he could relate to Shawn's struggles... after all, he too has missing memories because she has his chip. They're both going through a bit of an identity crisis. I'm sure that he could find some workaround in his programming to help her if Michael wasn't there insisting that he does not take this course of action.

But even after all of that fussing over what has been done wrong with KITT, I can’t deny that he is the heart and soul of this film. There was only one scene in this film that brought me near tears. I got more of an emotional impact from this one clip than I have from a lot of movies that are undeniably much better. Michael’s old-fashioned Chevrolet does not hold up in the year 2000, and it is clear that the usual car chase sequence won’t work as police vehicles quickly creep up on them. I was personally very curious what they would do here. I figured that KITT would find some way to outsmart the drivers of the police cars, maybe by ending up on an elevated mountain road that trips up the other drivers and causes them to waste time turning around and hopping on that same path. Or, maybe, KITT would access a road that’s too narrow for the relatively bulky police cars. However, it quickly becomes clear that this city is made up of wide roads on the ground. As KITT veers off the road and tells Michael to trust him, the I found myself having to trust him. This isn’t the way Knight Rider chases usually go, and with all these odds stacked against him, the only thing we can do is hold our breath. The way this scene is staged to send us into this just as blind as Michael is, frankly, genius. Water slowly creeps into the frame as a feeling of dread builds at the thought of what KITT might do.

Surely, we are led to think, he will knock into some boxes and turn right back around. Right? We’re reminded of the fact that this is not the Knight 2000, that there is no chance of this car floating. That if KITT does what he really seems to be doing, there’s no chance… but he wouldn’t, would he? This is the only action sequence in the film that had me at the edge of my seat, staring wide eyed at the screen. And then, the turn that you want so badly to come doesn’t, and you have to wonder what’s about to happen. What was KITT thinking? Won’t Michael and Shawn drown? And, most prominently in my mind, won’t KITT drown?

For a moment, this scene plays us into believing that, because magic FLAG science that is pretty par for the course, everything is fine. KITT explains that they have an airtight cab and over 20 minutes of oxygen. Everyone lets out a collective breath of relief. We see it in Michael and Shawn, and I know I felt myself relax.

And then there’s a flicker in the screen, and that pit in the bottom of my stomach came right back. Michael is confused, and KITT explains what we should have realized was inevitable. This is KITT sacrificing himself. He even goes as far as to let Shawn know that she can use any of his computer chips that she may need. This comes off as strange at first, but it goes to show that KITT is, at his core, the same kind soul we always knew. He acts angry because he feels betrayed, but given the choice, he will chose another person’s life over his own, always. Even the microprocessor that he is most frustrated over, the thing that seems to drive a wedge between him and Shawn, is just how he is expressing his hurt. Now, thinking it is the end, he offers it up freely, and Shawn doesn’t seem to know how to respond. KITT is calm as he says his final goodbyes. And this is the first place in the film that we get to hear the amazingly nuanced voice acting that William Daniels is so great at. KITT sounds collected and at peace with what is to come, but there are also subtle hints that he is at least a bit nervous, a bit sad. “I know. I guess this is goodbye.” He doesn’t want to leave his friends, but he knows that he has to for them to be safe. Even if the pacing of the film seems to actively try to undermine this moment, it stands out to me as an amazing scene, even if the reaction from Michael is underwhelming at best and the reaction from Shawn is… as much as can be expected from Shawn, but that’s not saying much. As far as KITT knows in that moment, these are his last words: “Michael, take care of yourself.” Down to the last moment, Michael is everything to him.

IjustwannamakeitclearquicklythatIthinktheirrelationshipisentirelyplatonicokthankyou

And I felt sad, big time sad. The movie up until that point was unbelievably boring to me, and this wasn’t a turning point where the movie suddenly became great. It was a moment so darn good that I almost don’t think the movie deserved for it to have as big of an impact as it did. But that shows just how powerful this universe is, how wonderfully honest these characters are. Even after being butchered practically beyond recognition, one scene in-character can still bring you to tears because you have connected with them so deeply throughout the TV series.

AND THEN DEVON DIED IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS :D

I don’t like Devon.

Devon was actually more tolerable in this movie than normal, and I can see where people who don’t hate him could be sad that he died I just,,, he has hurt or talked down to KITT and KARR so many times that I actually could not sympathize. What’s even more frustrating about that is that Devon’s death is the one that Michael got all sad over when KITT sacrificed his life for him and Devon got kidnapped randomly but okay go off movie you can’t ruin that scene for me. I knew going in that Devon died, but I was expecting them to spend a lot more time setting it up and making it as dramatic as possible. Nope, he just got a shot to the old air tanks I guess? My view of it is nothing more than that it’s a thing that happened.

OH AND DEVON DID PULL ONE HEINOUS ACT. He said that KIFT was better than KITT in every way other than that KITT has humanity. SINCE WHEN HAS DEVON GIVEN ONE SINGULAR HOOT ABOUT THE AI’S BEING ALIVE??? TELL KARR THAT??? HECK, TELL DEACTIVATED KITT THAT YOU WERE JUST FINE SELLING OFF AT AUCTION THAT?!?! Also also, KIFT DOES NOT C O M P A R E TO KITT. We are coming back to KIFT in a moment, don’t you worry. For now, I just. Low blow, Devon, low blow.

Michael was fine too, he played a weirdly small part and that felt off but everything he said seemed pretty in character. The most out of character parts were when he said nothing at all. OH AND WHERE HE WAS REPLACING BONNIE but that’s besides the point, no Bonnie OR April… no Bonnie OR April… I’m fine…

…

It feels like this movie wants you to forget that Michael exists because Shawn is here she’s more interesting, right? Right???

She’s really not.

So back to KIFT. My favorite part of KIFT is that pronouncing KIFT in your head sounds funny. It’s like “gift” but if the gift were actually an underwhelming villain of sorts that is overtaken in a garage, parked, by Michael either removing his microprocessor entirely or moving it to a Chevrolet.

I was surprised how not bad KIFT looked. I had seen stills from the movie that looked really uninteresting compared to the regular designs, and while I still agree to some extent, it was a lot more epic than I would have thought. Something about how the paint shines on it is captivating. I was genuinely happy when KITT was moved to the snazzy red vehicle, although a big part of that could have been how disgusting mint green looks with red. Seriously, including the red scanner on that bizarre seafoamy-bluey car (and yes, I do think it is a very pretty car by itself) was like when people say movies were “inspired” but in the opposite direction. And the scanner looked weirdly small? Was it just me?

Am I the only one who feels w e i r d just looking at this??

I think this is the most normal thing to be categorized as being in uncanny valley but there we go, I did it. It’s not right.

Anyway, as neat as KIFT looks, it is no comparison to the classic Knight 2000 or even Season 3 KARR. Red can be striking, but not when the classic scanner is also red. No contrast!

KIFT is absurdly easy to forget, and I don’t think that the car’s design has anything to do with it. KITT spends most of the movie piloting that car, and while it is not what we are used to, it doesn’t come across as super lame to me, either…or at least, not because of the design. The biggest problem with KIFT is, I think, simply his voice. His voice feels so out of place in the movie, and it’s so strange to me considering that Daniels’ voice is integrated just fine. The recording sounds too crisp, too clean. KITT’s voice always has a great deal of character, a very Earthy-sounding voice for an AI character. I actually think that this incongruity is purposeful, and it’s a very clever concept. We are supposed to recognize that KIFT isn’t human like KITT is. KIFT sounds out of place in the real world among real people; he’s too neat around the edges. It’s especially obvious when KITT and KIFT talk to each other. This is also mirrored by how KITT occupies a well-loved Chevrolet that has little imperfections that make it feel real whereas KIFT is in this red… whatever it is that feels like it comes out of a sci-fi film. This effect would have really worked if we had enough time with KIFT to understand his personality–or, more aptly, his lack of personality. What makes this not work is the fact that we spend practically no time with KIFT. We don’t get to hear what he feels he is programmed to do, we don’t get to hear him deliver the sort of lifeless lines that Shawn did that made her so unlikable, and we don’t even get to hear his voice more than 4-5 times. Every time comes as a shock, taking us out of the moment of the film. We could have gotten used to his crisp sound if he had spoken more, and we may have seen the actual plot significance of it. Instead, it pulls you right out of the movie.

Oh yeah, and the only line(s?) that KIFT delivers to KITT are full-on taunting… that’s not very lifeless of you KIFT.

Alright, just one last thing to really hammer home a point from earlier and conclude this whole thing. You know what I was saying about this movie lacking the whimsical nature of the TV show? Well, the final chase puts the icing on this oddly sullen crab cake.

Yes, crab cake.

Because the pinchy crab that is Shawn makes it quite painful to get this particular cake and icing doesn’t even belong on it anyway.

KITT is racing down the street in this bright red car that I just explained is thematically wrong for him to be driving tbh but whatever, he’s racing in it and comes up to a barricade of randomly stacked up cars.

Oh Yeah, we all know what is coming.

The music swells. Michael looks at the upcoming barricade with furrowed eyebrows and quietly asks KITT what the heck they’re going to do now.

OH YEAH, we definitely know what is coming.

And at last, for the first time in the film…

KITT veers off to the right and they drive on water. “It’s really sink or swim with you, isn’t it?” Michael asks, pretending that’s funny as if I am not still emotionally raw from that scene that happened an hour ago.

Apparently, KIFT had that one obscure feature from “Return to Cadiz,” the Season 2 episode where April forces KITT to follow KARR into the ocean on the hopes that waterproof wheels might work maybe, directly ignoring his many attempts to get out of it. Yay. I love references to That Episode. That Episode which baited me with an opening that looked like KARR could have been discovered underwater only to show me that not only was there no KARR, but KITT was going to be bullied into repeating what his brother did when he died. Wholesome. Lovely. Fantastic. And how did KITT know for sure that would work? KITT clearly still has some technical hiccups in his own CPU from Michael tampering with it, that was an awful lot of confidence to place in a maybe.

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY…

THIS MOVIE DID NOT HAVE A TURBO BOOST

A TURBO BOOST

I cannot believe that a movie based around Knight Rider did not have a turbo boost (or for that matter, the THEMESONG???). Like I am honestly still surprised by it. Almost every episode of the original show had at least one turbo boost, and there is a reason. The idea of a talking car jumping in midair, sometimes with Michael “WOO!”-ing like a girl, is so fantastically fun that nobody even tries to question how impossible it is. I think we all know how impossible it is, and that doesn’t matter, it is yet another thing that embodies the heart of this show.

And… not even one.

…

So yeah, that just happened. I think this is technically a small novel. Wow.

I know that I'm still missing a lot... I have a lot of thoughts about this movie, and if you for some reason want more please ask! I would also love to hear your thoughts on this! Do you agree with my analysis? Do you disagree entirely? Did you notice something that I failed to mention entirely? Pleasepleaseplease send ideas, I would love to hear them! Also know that, no matter how much I was disappointed by the movie itself, I am fully open to hearing your ideas about how to improve or expand upon it. I truly believe that this film introduced some great concepts, and I would absolutely adore seeing them reworked in a way that's more true to the original. Thank you for reading! :D

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hope-for-olicity · 5 years ago

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I Will Take Care of You, Always

Happy Happy Birthday @mel-loves-all!!! This one is for you! Olicity fluff from S2 pre-Russia. I so hope you enjoy. Thanks to @green-arrows-of-karamel for editing. Also available on AO3.

“Diggle I’m really worried. She called in sick, didn’t even send me a note. I have no idea if she’s coming tonight,” Oliver paced in front of Felicity’s computers in the lair.

“Oliver, maybe she really is sick, man. Cut her some slack. She works all the time. She’s probably asleep,” John smiled at Oliver while trying to provide comfort.

“I see you smiling. This doesn’t mean anything. I’m worried about my employee..maybe, she needs my help. I really should go and check on her.”

“Or you could call… a little less alarming. See if she needs anything.”

“That’s it. I’m calling, again,” Oliver picked up his phone, hit the last number called as it was Felicity’s, he listened to the phone ring four times before going to voicemail. “Felicity, it’s Oliver. Just checking to see if you are okay. Please call me back.”

“She’s probably asleep,” Digg tried again.

“Or unconscious or on the floor with a broken leg unable to get to the phone or kidnapped! It’s totally possible given what we do!” Oliver sat down in Felicity’s chair. It lowered with his weight, Felicity wouldn’t like that, she doesn’t like them touching or moving her things.

“Okay, now you are getting me worried. Do you want me to go check on her?”

“No,” Oliver jumped up from the chair. “I’m going and you aren’t going to stop me. I’ll let you know if I need help.”

~~~~~

“I’m in the depths of despair,” Anne Shirley declared on Felicity’s television.

“You are so right, girl.”

Great, now Felicity was talking to her TV. She had been alone all day, maybe she had cabin fever. Plus, she lost her phone. Well, not lost, lost. She just didn’t have the energy to look for it since her entire body was in pain and when she attempted to move she felt nauseous.

Felicity was on her period. Yes, this happened every month but she was usually on the pill to help control the pain. But her doctor wanted her to go off the pill to see if she’d be okay. SHE WAS NOT OKAY. She felt like her body was being ripped in two. A tear slid down her cheek. And now she was crying again. Everything was awful. Totally, the depths of despair.

She was contemplating getting up to refill her hot water bottle with actual hot water when she heard the knock. It was probably some salesman, she just could not deal right now. She muted her TV and hoped they’d go away.

“Felicity, it’s Oliver. Are you in there? Are you okay? I’m worried.”

Oh no! It couldn’t be Oliver!. Felicity touched her hair. She looked a mess. She hadn’t even showered. How could she face him?

“Felicity? Please open the door or I’m going to find another way in.”

Crap, he couldn’t break down her door! She couldn’t afford the repairs and her landlord…

”Coming!” Felicity stood up from the couch, waited a moment for nausea to pass. Then slowly made her way to the door.

~~~~~

There are no words to describe the relief he felt when he heard Felicity’s voice. She was okay, she was inside. Deep breath. He heard her opening the locks, the door slowly opened to reveal a very not okay Felicity.

“Felicity! Here let me help you.” She was so pale he worried she might collapse. “Where do you want to go back to bed? The couch?” Oliver noticed she had pillows and a blanket there.

“Couch.”

Oliver swooped her up bridal style and carrying her to the couch. He placed her gently down and covered her with blankets. “Okay, what can I do? What do you need?”

Felicity closed her eyes. He worried she was just going to tell him to leave.

“Can you refill this hot water bottle?” Felicity held up the bottle that had been propped against the couch.

“On it,” Oliver took the hot water bottle into the kitchen. As the kitchen and living room were joined he began talking to Felicity. “I’m sorry for just showing up like this unannounced but I was really worried and you weren’t answering your phone.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Please don’t apologize, Felicity. You are clearly very sick and I’d like to help any way I can,” Oliver handed her back the hot water bottle.

“Well, there is not much you can do to help this. I’m just having a really bad period,” Felicity turned bright red.

“I’m so sorry, Felicity,” Oliver sat at the end of the couch. “Thea used to suffer as well. I used to try to cheer her up, we’d watch movies. I’m not sure if it helped. But would you like me to do that with you?”

Felicity’s eyes welled up.

Oh no, I totally said the wrong thing. Oliver felt panicked. He could take down any bad guy you threw at him but helping am a woman in pain from her period might be his downfall. “Oh Felicity, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I can leave if you want. I don’t want to be a bother,” Oliver began to get up.

“No,” Felicity wiped the tears from her eyes. “Sorry, super emotional. I just thought it was sweet that you helped Thea and now you wanted to help me. I’ve never had anyone care about this kind of thing. Mom just said this is something we Smoak women deal with, it was clear I wasn’t to complain. But now, you are here and you are being so nice and you got me more hot water.” Felicity couldn’t help it… she started to cry. “Sorry, I can’t seem to stop crying.”

“Felicity, would you like a hug?”

Felicity nodded.

Oliver bent over and hugged her. Not the best position but he didn’t want to hurt her. He let Felicity cry all over his shirt. He rubbed her back as she cried.

Finally, Felicity pulled back and looked up at him. “Thank you. Thank you for being so kind.”

~~~~~

Oliver was here, being amazing, which was not helping her crush on him. Why did he have to be so him? Her ex’s had always ignored her period pain, as if it was an inconvenience, but Oliver - he was taking care of her.

“Is there anything else I can do to help? Food? Thea always wanted pizza but I read that nutritious food is better.”

“Pizza! Oliver, you read?” Felicity tried hard to keep the aww out of her voice.

Oliver gave her one of his special smiles she feels only she sees. “Okay, I’ll order pizza. And yes, I read. I was trying to find ways to help. It was hard seeing Thea in pain and now you…”

“Hey,” Felicity leaned forward to grab his hand. “You do know that you caring, being here, helps lots, right? Thank you for coming to check on me.”

“Always,” Oliver squeezed her hand. “Felicity, you have helped me more than you will ever know. Hell, you saved my life. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Felicity felt herself tearing up again. “This is all your fault!”

Oliver chuckled as he pulled out his phone to order pizza.

~~~~

Felicity caught him up on the rom-coms he missed while he was on the island. She said they help with the pain so he persevered, he’d never let her know that he secretly liked them but he suspected she knows anyway.

She was dozing at her end of the couch, he could hear her soft snores. He got her so more pain relievers and a fresh hot water bottle. He thought maybe he was overstaying his welcome. He began to carefully get up from the couch.

“Stay,” Felicity said softly. She wiggled herself into more of a sitting position as she rubbed her eyes beneath her glasses. “I mean if you can. I understand if you have to be somewhere. It’s just, I’d like you to stay. I will stay awake, I promise.”

“Felicity, there is nowhere I’d rather be. You don’t need to stay awake. I just thought maybe I had overstayed…”

“NO!” Felicity cut him off. She looked around for a moment. “I’ve been a terrible host, what with you doing all the taking care of me. Is there anything I can do for you? I might be able to…” Felicity began to swing her leg out from beneath the blanket to get up.

“Oh, no, you don’t! You rest. Unless you have to go to the bathroom then, of course, go; just don’t get up on my account. I don’t need anything. I got my rom-coms, we still have pizza - I’m totally taken care of.”

“Okay, but the next time you are sick. I promise I’ll be there.”

“Felicity, I don’t get sick,” he said with the confidence of a man who survived the island.

“Okay,” she smiled. “How about 27 Dresses?”

~~~~~

Felicity was feeling much better the next day. She was more than happy to return to her life at Queen Consolidated and fighting crime.

She spent most of her morning rescheduling the meetings that Oliver had cancelled in her absence. He told her he didn’t like doing things without her. This was sweet but also created a lot of work.

“Yes, Mr. Queen will definitely make this meeting. Yesterday, was a little bit of anomaly,” she repeated over and over again.

Once everything was rescheduled, she headed into Oliver’s office to let him know she was heading out for lunch. “I’ve rescheduled everything. Just going to grab some Big Belly Burger. Did you want some?”

Oliver looked up for his desk. “Yes, I'd like a- a-” Oliver lifted a hand as a signal for her to wait. He screwed up his face trying to hold a sneeze back in vain. "A-A-ACHOO!!!"

Felicity could see his eyes were glassy and he was a little flushed. “Oh, Oliver! I’m going to reschedule the meetings. I’m going to take you home. The lair is no place to be when you are sick. We’ll get you some chicken soup, some rom-coms, and soft tissues. I am here for you.”

“Felicity,” Oliver tried to sound forceful but failed. He shook his head. “I guess you are right.”

“Oh, honey, I’m always right. Now, let’s get you home.” Felicity started helping Oliver out of his chair when Diggle poked his head in the door.

“Everything alright?”

“Oliver’s sick, Digg. Can you give us a ride back to my place and if you could bring over some comfy clothes for him?” Felicity ushered Oliver out the door knowing Diggle was behind them.

“Felicity, do you need me to help?” Diggle smiled.

“No, I got this. We just need to get him home,” Felicity gave Digg a wink she knew Oliver might be milking this a bit but she didn’t mind at all.

Digg drove the two back to Felicity's and got them inside. He helped get Oliver set up on the couch. He turned back to Felicity. “I’ll head over to the lair grab some clothes for him. I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be okay, Digg. Felicity will take care of me,” Oliver gave a small smile as he closed his eyes.

“Yes, I will. I will always take care of you, Oliver,” Felicity took a seat next to Oliver on the couch.

Thanks for reading! Tagging a few people who might be interested: @memcjo @stephswims @julieofrandomfandoms @cruzrogue @laurabelle2930 @tdgal1 @vaelisamaza @oliverfel4 @swordandarrow

#I Will Take Care of You Always #olicity fanfiction #Birthday Present #oliver x felicity #MyFanfic #Season 2

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judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years ago

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Blood, tears and sea breeze.

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, description of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

This is a very dark chapter, is not graphic, but it is really sad.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

First Previous Next

Chapter 12: Green lights

The four adults walked inside in silence, and the paced sound of the metronome was the only noise they could hear for a moment, somehow it made the room feel darker, and cold, even when a shiny yellow sun could be guessed outside the window through the white curtains.

Hardy look away from the device, sitting right in the middle of the desk next to the Dr. Cecil Florence plaque, and a tea cup. In the middle of the office there was a comfortable couch, the one he already knew too well. It wasn't a loud sound, however he find it unnerving and was desperate to make it stop, thankfully he wouldn't have to sit next to it.

Miller sited on an empty chair, the one closer to the door, and gave an awkward smile to Doctor Florence as in "Don't read anything into this" although she was sure her stiff movements were already telling the doctor she didn't want to be there.

Alec lean against the window trying to look at the whole room at once, but he didn't rise his look too high, avoiding Cecil's curious gaze, then he noticed Y/N nervously rubbing her wrist, he remembered seeing her do it before, but somehow he hadn't pay enough attention to the fact before.

"Are you going to make me sing psalms too?" Y/N said with a smile pointing at the metronome.

"Beg your pardon?" Dr Florence said with a strained look.

"Sister Mary, she was an old noun that was in charge of the church long before Father Coats" Alec rise his look with some anger at the way she talked about Paul, and immediately reprimanded himself. "When I was little if you get in trouble she would put out one of those out and made you sing psalms to, I don't know scare the devil away or something".

"Only because the stupid cow was already too old to use the cane" Miller said laughing too. "I still have the scar on my thigh, all because I was late to sunday school" Hardy tried to hide the Oh that's what that red mark was realization out of his mind, but he was thankful that Ellie always knew how to lighten the mood in a room.

"Well, don't worry, is only to guide your train of thought" The doctor said and Y/N sat on the couch a bit more relaxed. "Before we started I want to ask you again if you are okay with the detectives being here, and with this procedure, I also must remind you that this could be emotionally draining, and that we might not always found actual memories"

"I know all that doc, it's okay, let's do it" she laid back on the couch after giving a secure wink to the woman and closed her eyes.

"Fine, then I must remind the detectives that you shall not interfere under any circumstances, in case she needs to stop I will make the procedure stop if I consider it necessary." they nodded and everything went silent again except for the device "You should focus on the sound, use it to guide your breathing, I won't tell you were to start, but I would want you to imagine yourself in a place that brings you comfort

Click... click... click

"I'm in my room, I'm getting ready to go out with Jonathan and Ash..."

"Why are you going out?" Her voice was soothing and Y/N breath was calmed, Miller thought she would fall asleep before she could say anything but then she began recalling the event like she was living it again.

Ashley had gotten a excellent week at the Deli, so she had invited me and Jonathan to celebrate, he was on a grumpy mood, not uncommon on the last few days, but he accept to come with us anyway, he even agreed to wear that ugly purple shirt her mother sent for his birthday. She was always talking about how I never let him dress like a City boy anymore.

We were only the three of us, Charlie didn't came because her mother had a cold and he had to take care of her, sometimes I wonder if he was not angry that Ashley moved out, maybe I will bring Mrs. Langford some soup tomorrow to make him company.

Ashley looked stunning, like she always did, I was never bold enough to wear that kind of short dresses, Jonathan even had to scare a couple guys away from her while they went to get us drinks.

"Only two shots" He said with that dad like look he always had for me to prevent me from doing anything fun... I guess I won't see that anymore

"You are doing great dear" The doctor said once tears star running down her cheek, "Focus on the club, were you in Broadchurch, what time it was? Do you remember the music?"

Some horrible techno music, something kids listen, most of the people around didn't look old enough to be out at 12:00, let alone drink.

The tequila was smooth, and after the second shot I stand up to dance with Ashley, but it was crowded, so I lost her after a while and went back to sit at the table, Jonathan was gone, and I ordered more shots, I don't remember two or maybe three. I started feeling dizzy, so I stand up to go to the bathroom maybe Jonathan was there, it have been long and he hasn't come back.

I saw Ashley kissing a handsome man she often do that when we were younger, that's why she left her house, their parents were too conservative, and she was fighting with Charles all the time because of it, I never actually mind that she do that, but I felt mad, because she had left me alone so I tried to walk out of the club

"Hey hey hey" a voice said behind me, it was a large man, he was wearing a bright red shirt, and he smelled like bourbon, and aftershave, he had nice eyes "Are you okay dear?" I tried to tell him I was fine and walk away but my feet were no longer responding and the green lights of the club were making my head hurt, I was not sure how was I so far from the crowd

"I can't breathe" I said and I tried to walk outside but his hand was on my wrist and he didn't let go

"Let's go outside, you need air" he said and then the cold air of the night strike me in the face, the moon was out, he was smoking, and I was trying to get some clarity, but everything was so confusing and my legs felt week...

"You smell so nice" he said with his hot breathing my neck and one of his hands on my chest, I tried to scream, to run maybe but then everything went red, I felt a stinging pain on my head, and how he lift me from the ground.

Hardy was tense angrily listening to her story, and definitely not wanting to keep listening, but he didn't interrupt her, and obviously the women in the room were not thrill to listen either, Y/N breathing was now fast and she was fully crying but she kept her eyes closed.

He took away my ring, and for a moment I was glad because I thought he was trying to rob me, but then I could hear him taking off his pants, I kept my eyes closed, I tried to scream to call Jonathan and Ashley, anyone... I thought I was going to die, I would have rather die... I thought of my parents... and I got enough strength to scream and I did, but then he hit me in the face again, and then, Please don't do that... Please stop! Stop!! Someone help me!!...

"Stop this" Ellie said loudly "Please doctor stop this"

"DS Miller, I have to ask you to remain impartial" she said with a quiet voice but she was also very affected by the story.

Hardy was not listening, by that moment Y/N voice were only screams, and she had now the same lost look she did at the Latimer's house. He approach her carefully, but she was desperately rubbing her wrist again and not letting the doctor come near her so she went to her desk to prepare something to tranquilize her.

"I lost it, my mom said I should always keep it on, and I lost it, she is going to be mad" she said with a voice that reminded him of Daze when she cut his ties in ribbons for her dolls, and he wondered if she was still not entirely awake.

"Y/N" he said desperate to act before the doctor would injected the medication, and this time he didn't hesitate and simply hold her tight against his chest "I'm here, you are at Doctor Florence's office ok?" Once she was calmed he make her look at him softly "I'm with you, you're safe" she looked thankful at him but didn't let go, and he could only hold her patting her head, trying to avoid Miller concerned look, and ignoring the fact that the unsettling feeling in his stomach was now satisfied because she was on his arms.

"I would expect that you would be following my advice from now on and not force this poor girl to more trauma in the future" the doctor said to him once Y/N exited the room to go to the restroom.

"I hope we could" Miller said defeated "But if that memory was true in any way now we have to look for a sex offender and a murderer"

"When she was waking up, she said... the way she talked..." Alec tried to elaborate

"It's an old wound, I was convinced she was over that by now, but apparently not" The doctor started. "When she was youger she was diagnosed with absence crisis, a special kind of epilepsy, and her parents made her use a bracelet in case she suffered a crisis at school or so, the idot that treat her before me had her under many medications because he couldn't determine her anxiety disorder, so I work with her to take her out of the meds, and eventually she was having a very normal life, she kept using the bracelet as comfort when she felt anxious, but she did not have crisis anymore"

"Until her parents die?" Miller asked remembering what she read in her archive.

"Precisely, they had a discussion, when she finished Uni she wanted to take a job across the sea in Paris or something like that, she gave her mother the bracelet and she went to stay with her friend Ashley on their own, and then her parents had the accident, she has always felt guilty, and since she didn't recover the bracelet she sometimes goes back to her childhood when they make her use it, is just a minor compulsion, not weird under this circumstances"

"She didn't find it?" Alec ask cautiously.

"No, apparently it was not at her parents house, I'm sorry is something else I can help you with?" She said and he change his expression immediately.

"It's fine, we will be in touch if we need anything else, we are very grateful for your help" Ellie said and the doctor went back to her office a d they walked out to wait for Y/N at the car.

"Someone is definitely liying" Miller said once they were inside and grey clouds start covering the sky. "That bracelet was on her the day the body was found" she said.

"I know, but not on any pictures from before that, so either our killer put it on her or she lied to the doctor, but that was, what 10 years ago? Is too long for something she simply forgot to tell her shrink about" a lightning illuminate the sky and the thunder following let him now that will be a rainy day. "I was hoping we'll get more from this, but now we have to listen her friend again, she didn't remember that night, only she was at home with the boyfriend angry about something."

"I can't imagine how did he found her, and she is in no way ready to answer that yet, we had to check out the club, maybe someone saw something, I hate this bloody case" She hit the wheel with her fist. "That poor girl, every time I'm more convinced she is the victim here, but it's all just confusing"

"Yeah, I mean maybe you should take today off, it was hard to hear what she said inside"

"I could say the same about you" He look at her surprised "Oh don't gave me that look, I was not going to comment on this, but you are getting too involved in this"

"Of course I'm not!" He tried to defend himself but she was not paying attention to him.

"Yes you are, and look I'm not going to say anything, but if you became partial on your judgment, for the case, and for your own good, I'm removing you from the case" she said and make a sign to Y/N to show her they were already in the car.

"I thought I was still your superior" He said quietly before she got inside.

"I'll talk to you boss then" she said with a smile, and he knew then that she was not joking, he rolled his eyes with anger because she was right, he would have done the same, and also he was concerned that maybe he was letting Y/N get under his skin making it impossible for him to remain impartial about her.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi

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artsy-alice · 5 years ago

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🗡️spy x family x sheith 🔫

sometimes a family is a genius baby mind-reader plus the spy & the hitman-for-hire she very cleverly brought together to be her parents.

the spy & the hitman both think they're in a fake marriage w/ a normal person for their own cover.

cue shenanigans.

(i am at that point in my life where everything I consume turns into sheith. it be like that sometimes.)

anyway, cross-posting my AU ramblings under the cut!

Shiro is a spy & his mission is to get close to reknown politician Zarkon & his way in is the school where lil Lotor attends. for this, he needs a family & that's how he finds lil Allura in the orphanage! child - check!

to maintain an image of a perfect & normal family for the school, he needs a partner! WHO COULD IT BE? enter Keith, office worker by day, hitman by night - his singleness is drawing suspicions & worries from his family tho so he might've accidentally told them all he has a bf...

they meet one day in a tailor's shop and lil Allura catches wind of their worries. Pa needs a partner for his mission & to get her into school! > spy! cool! > the nice handsome man needs a boyfriend for his cover with friends & family! > hitman! cool! > "PA I WANT ANOTHER DADDY"

somehow they come to an agreement - shiro will go as keith's BF on his coworker's party so he can tell everyone he is dating someone & keith will go as shiro's husband to the school's admission interview. lil Allura has gained the perfect parents! SHE WILL NOT LET THEM GO NOW.

somewhere along the way they agree that moving in together & getting married for realsies will benefit them both so they just... moved in together & got married.

sometimes keith will catch his husband mid-mission in a chase with criminals & shiro is just like "haha uhhhh this is a new form of therapy! for my uhhh more violent patients! no big! just doing my job!" (shiro's job, as allura calls it, is a "special mind doctor".)

bc allura got admitted to a v prestigious school, it's assumed that her family is rich. she almost got kidnapped once & keith tracked those assholes & ripped them a new one for touching his daughter. then allura asks keith to train her to be a badass.

(she uses this training first day of school, when she sees lil lotor picking on poor lil romelle. she just. punches him in the face.)

shiro, crying internally: there goes my mission plan of having my child be lotor's best friend so i can meet zarkon... allura, after reading his mind: AHFLAHAKLFHAF I'M SO SORRY PA shiro: HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT keith: NO BABY YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE SORRY FOR

anyways, shiro is deeply committed to the mission, and a crucial part of the mission is to have allura succeed in school. this means keeping her happy so she is motivated. this means pampering her & praising her & giving her a complete & happy family - the 2 of them plus keith.

keith is actually great at the parenting thing. he's good at reading allura. he's been an orphan like her, passed around different homes. at first shiro thought keith is just someone he'll keep around for appearances but he finds himself turning to keith more often for insight.

they become a team. he tries his best to take allura to fun new places on weekends. he gets lil tokens of appreciation for keith. he wants it to work, he wants to keep them happy & satisfied.

and when his colleagues from the spy organization tell shiro that he's kinda spending too much time, getting carried away with this cover family, he insists that it's just a job. it's part of a high priority mission.

it's just a job. lifting allura up in the air and telling her she did a great job when she showed him her latest test scores. getting keith flowers for valentines. bristling when he heard neighbors gossip whether or not keith is a good "step-dad" for allura.

it's part of the mission, shiro tells himself. it'll end one day, and he'll find allura a new, proper family, maybe. she deserves that much. he'll part ways with keith - smart, wonderful, mysterious keith. that's what will happen, when he finishes the mission.

that's the plan, he tells himself. no, of course there are no filled-out official adoption papers in his personal files. no, of course there is no ring in keith's size, in a little box in his desk drawer. nope. none of those, no. definitely none.

ok that's all for now! i got carried away. pls read Spy X Family by Tatsuya Endou! IT'S SO CUTE & GOOD & HILARIOUS AAAAA

#sheith #takashi shirogane #keith kogane #princess allura #voltron #spy x family x sheith au #(art)#(fanart)#(july2019)

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ladywithoutababy · 4 years ago

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IVF Transfer #1: 25 weeks, 2 days pregnant

I’ve been wrestling with whether or not to post pregnancy updates here since I very much wanted this to stay a fertility blog and not a pregnancy blog, but some things have happened over the past few weeks that seem worth sharing. My goal from the beginning of this has always been to talk about what happens when you’re going through fertility treatments, to better prepare others for it (the way I wish I’d had a heads up), and it turns out that the fertility process doesn’t just end when your transferred embryo sticks.

I spent the entire first trimester terrified of a miscarriage, especially since I didn’t have any morning sickness. (I did have extreme fatigue, but that can be – as with everything else in this journey �� either a sign that things are going well or that they’re going badly.) Once I got into the second trimester and my fatigue evaporated, I had constant anxiety that the baby was just going to be, I don’t know, gone the next time the doctors checked. I wasn’t showing, I didn’t have any symptoms, I couldn’t feel kicks or anything, and my brain started convincing me that it was more likely that all the other evidence had been wrong or staged in a conspiracy or something than that I’d actually managed to get pregnant.

Throughout this whole thing, everyone I knew was either having a baby, having a miscarriage, or going through their own fertility treatments. You start to feel like a crazy person – like once you’re in it it’s all you see and hear about, but no one else in the world seems to be noticing or acknowledging it. It didn’t help – I know this sounds stupid, but it’s true – that four women from Vanderpump Rules all got pregnant, too. I remember the first one (Stassi) got pregnant before I did, and I experienced her pregnancy announcement the same way I used to with all of them: it made me sad, and angry, and it made me feel personally attacked and hurt. I don’t know Stassi. I don’t know what she’s been through, you never do. But on social media, and especially with celebrities, it always seems like everyone else’s journey is so easy and so carefree. When the other three (within weeks of each other!) announced one after the other that they were all expecting, too, I was in my second trimester and felt like, ok, maybe this baby I’m having is real and I can just be happy for other people. But it was still hard. One of them (Brittany) announced her pregnancy at 11 weeks. ELEVEN! I’m 25 weeks and still haven’t announced mine publicly because I’m afraid of something going wrong. I can’t even imagine having that level of confidence, that everything is just going to work out okay. My point is, coming through IVF and infertility challenges, you never really shake off the fear, even when things seem like they’re all going well.

So you can imagine how it feels when things start to not go well.

I got brave enough to tell my coworkers about the pregnancy around 14 weeks (once I felt safely in the second trimester); it helped that I have a close coworker who’s also pregnant and we were able to do it together. But that was my first experience with telling anyone other than close friends and family, and I immediately felt like... a fraud. I don’t know. Everyone started telling me how happy they were for me and sending me pregnancy advice and asking what I’m going to do for maternity leave, and my instinct was to be like, guys, don’t worry, I’m not actually going to end up with a baby at the end of this.

We had our anatomy scan at 20 weeks (where they inspect every part of the baby through an ultrasound and let you know if everything looks normal), and on our way to the doctor’s office I was so nervous I almost threw up in the car. I still wasn’t feeling any kicks yet, which didn’t help (most people start feeling them around 18-19 weeks, some even earlier). It went great – the ultrasound tech kept telling us everything looked great, perfect, normal, and the doctor who I saw afterwards confirmed. But then I got a voicemail from her a couple days later saying she wanted to “discuss something from my scan”. It took about a day for me to get her back on the phone – probably one of the longest, most excruciating days of my life. I tried not to worry but also tried to prepare myself for bad news. It turned out that the issue was that they didn’t get a clear enough photo of his brain, which she reassured me was no reason to worry, there was no indication anything was wrong, they just needed to make SURE nothing was wrong. So of course I spent the week or two leading up to the follow-up anatomy scan convinced that something was wrong. And it turns out nothing was wrong. So that’s good.

I got a blood test measuring my AFP (Alpha-fetoprotein, idk) soon after, around 22.5 weeks; they’d told me I needed to take it before 23 weeks. When I went in for my next doctor’s appointment, I got my favorite midwife and was making small talk and jokes with her when she came into the room. She politely laughed at my jokes and then abruptly switched gears, saying “I want to cut to the chase.” She told me that my AFP had come back abnormally high and flagged positive for spina bifida, but also added that this test can often result in false positives, especially if you’re over 30 or if you get your blood test done too close to the end of the window. (Why, then, do they tell you you have until 23 weeks? I do not know.) I said ok, and I guess I didn’t seem upset enough, because she said “I need you to repeat back to me what you just heard.” And then I started crying, because that made it clear this was serious and potentially very bad information.

They referred me to a specialist (”where we send all the complicated cases,” they told me) for yet another anatomy scan, which I had yesterday. My husband and I had completely convinced ourselves that we were going to get confirmation of bad news, and I was back in the old crazy mindset of trying not to worry but also trying to prepare myself: for the news, for what this would mean for our lives, for our baby’s life. My midwife had made me promise her not to google anything, so I didn’t really have a clear picture of what this diagnosis would mean, but my imagination made up for it. Long story short, everything (including his spine) looked ok to the ultrasound tech and the specialist doctor. The doctor still seemed a little mystified by my high AFP (mine was 5-something, and anything over 2 or 3 apparently can be an indicator of a problem), and wasn’t willing to tell us that everything is definitely fine, but repeatedly and clearly stated that he wasn’t concerned. We’re going to go back to them in a month to make sure everything still looks normal.

If you get a high AFP blood test result, I guess you can be reassured by this stat I found:

For every 1000 pregnant women tested, about 50 may have abnormal test results. Of these 50, just 1 or 2 with high AFP levels have babies with problems.

So, I don’t know, that’s what we’ve been up to. I keep waiting to feel confident enough that this baby will be real before I make a big public announcement and let everyone know. It’s very different from how I always imagined, where as soon as you get a positive pregnancy test result, you start painting the nursery. (We’ve actually decided to not even start on the nursery until after the baby is born – they sleep in your bedroom for the first few months anyway! People are crazy!)

But. I’ve got a nice round belly at this point that makes things feel more real. I like that strangers can tell that I’m pregnant without me having to tell them. I’m also feeling kicks very regularly (it’s wild – just constant), and my husband can not only feel them from the outside at this point but as of yesterday can sometimes SEE them happening when my belly moves. We have a name picked out (!), although we never say it out loud or refer to the baby by it, I guess because we’re afraid of jinxing his existence. We’ve seen his face on ultrasounds a few times now, and he looks like he’s going to be cute (phew). I’ve started giving myself the very occasional luxury of actually picturing what he’ll be like, and what we’ll all be like together. I’m trying not to worry too much, and to be clear, when I’m not worried, I really, really like being pregnant and I feel incredibly lucky and grateful to even be in the position to get to worry.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this update in case someone else out there is feeling exhausted by the constant stream of scary unknowns, or feeling guilty about not being able to fully “enjoy” their pregnancy because they’re so worried all the time. I don’t have any advice if you’re feeling either of these things, just want you to know you’re not alone.

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anotheronechicagobog · 5 years ago

Note

Hey! Please can you do one with Severide where you are staying at his place for a while and he has someone over but it goes wrong when he realises it’s you he wants?! Thank you so much!! With cute fluff and angst please🥰

Just In Time by @anotheronechicagobog

@harryskittenxox I ended up deviating from your request a bit, so I’m hoping that you still like it.

AN: My computer won’t be fixed for another week and a half. I was able to finish this request because a lot of it was on cloud. I’m not very good at using the mobile version of tumblr so the Severide x reader request with a gif that I responded to? Not the finished product, I didn’t mean to post it, but I’ll deal with that later. When I get my laptop back I’ll probably post a ton of fic and then disappear for a while because university will be starting up again. Anyway, requests are still open and I’ll probably write the ones I get sent on paper and then post them with everything else when I get my laptop back. I hope you all enjoy, this one took me a while!

*I do not own Chicago fire, Med, and/or PD*

Warnings: swearing, mature themes, angst

Renee was back, and with her, more drama. She returned from Madrid pregnant, claiming that the baby belongs to one Kelly Severide. Your... Lover? Fuck buddy? Friend with benefits? You two hadn’t quite labelled what you two were, but it worked well enough, all things considered, one of those things being that you were in love with him. Everything was going well for you, you’d just been promoted to detective, the art you’d do in your spare time was starting to sell pretty well, and your crush on Kelly had kind of been recognized. You’d returned to your apartment to see Leslie on your white couch with the TV on and a deep-dish pizza on your coffee table accompanied by tequila. “Hey Shay, not that I’m not happy to see that the spare key I gave you works, but what are you doing here?”

“Renee’s back from Spain, heavily pregnant, and claims that the father is Kelly. I had a feeling you’d need grease and booze.” Now Kelly ignoring your calls and texts for the past three weeks made sense. After unfreezing you nodded enthusiastically. You started with the pizza, you didn’t want to dig into the alcohol just yet. “I don’t think the baby’s his. The timeline just doesn’t add up. I know that I’ve never really liked her, that shit she pulled trying to guilt him into moving to Spain after she’d found someone to fix his spine, but damn, something is really off about her and the entire situation this time.”

“What do you think is going to happen to my and Kelly’s... whatever it is we’re doing?” Leslie sighed and gave you a sympathetic look. “I don’t know Y/N. You should’ve seen him though, he’s so excited to be a dad. I want him to know what I think is going on but... It’ll hurt him so much. The only thing that would stop him from dropping everything and going to Renee’s side would be if you were pregnant.” You both laughed. Leslie cracked the seal on the tequila, while your laughter slowly died and a look of horror plastered itself across your face. Something Leslie noticed and cut her own laughter short. “Y/N?”

“My period’s never been regular, it just generally comes once a month, it’s short but heavy and painful. I just realized with all that's been going on, my art, the police station, I had been so busy, I hadn’t... I just realized the last time I had my period was the days before and of the firehouse barbeque.” Panic was flooding my stomach and the glass of tequila Shay had given me suddenly became the most offensive object I’d ever seen and practically threw it on the table. “Y/N,” complete seriousness had invaded Leslie’s voice, “that was four months ago.”

You both were in full-on freak out mode. Leslie grabbed your first-aid kit and went over symptoms of pregnancy asking if you’d been experiencing them at all (the answer had been yes to all of them) while checking your vitals and such. You both popped down to the pharmacy a block away from your apartment to buy ten pregnancy tests, all different brands. “You know, you probably don’t need this many-”

“Leslie, just, let me do this, okay?” She nodded in silence. One gallon of water, three minutes, and ten positive pregnancy tests later you were crying into Leslie’s shoulder. You felt sick, terrified, and alone. What were you going to do? Kelly was off with Renee somewhere playing happy families. You couldn’t even be mad about it because unlike you, Kelly actually dated her. When your tears had finally halted Leslie went to order more food you finally changed out of your work clothes into leggings and an oversized CPD sweater. “Why is that sweater so big?”

“It’s a co-worker’s. He gave it to me when he spilled coffee all over my shirt at work. I just never gave it back because he intentionally spilled a scorching beverage on me as a pickup line.” Leslie belt out a laugh at that. “So Y/N, when are you going to tell Kelly?”

“Please don’t hate me for this, but I don’t think I’m going to tell him at all, at least not anytime soon. He’s been ignoring me for weeks, spending all his time with Renee, who he didn’t even have the decency to me was back, let alone that she’s pregnant, and I think telling him now would be in poor taste. Regardless of whether or not the baby actually turns out to be his I think telling him now would just be mean. Plus, right now I have to deal with going to the doctor’s and how I’ll handle this at work.”

“I can’t say I agree with the whole not telling Kelly thing but I do understand it. I promise that I won’t tell him.”

“Thank you, Leslie.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You ran into Renee at the doctor’s office two days later. “Congratulations Ms. Y/L/N! You are eighteen weeks pregnant. I must say, it’s usually discovered quicker. May I ask why it took you so long to come in?”

“I was busy at work and was too distracted to notice that I hadn’t gotten my monthly torturer in a while, my morning sickness hadn’t been bad or at least nothing I couldn’t explain, and I spoke with my mom, she told me that the women in my family don’t show until later in pregnancy.”

“Oh, alright, that explains everything. Just so you know the gel will be cold.” Seeing your baby and hearing their heartbeat was something you couldn’t even describe. The emotions you were feeling were awe-inspiring. “Would you like a picture?”

“Would it be possible to get three?”

“Sure thing. Now, let’s talk about your personal health and some things I’ll be prescribing you.”

You were leaving the OB’s office looking at the pamphlets you’d been given when you bumped into someone. “Oh! I’m so sorry, I should have been looking where I was going!”

“Oh, don’t worry about it Y/N.”

“Renee? What a surprise...”

“Kelly, look who’s here!”

“Y/N?”

“Hi Kelly. Well it was great running into you two but-”

“You’re pregnant?” You sighed and tucked the pamphlets and photo into your bag. “Yeah, Kelly, I am.”

“Who’s the father?”

“Y/N, I’m curious about that as well, as far as I was aware, you haven’t been seeing anyone.” Renee had a look of smug curiosity on her face. “Why would you be aware of my love life Renee, we’ve never been good enough friends to have a conversation like that, so... Kelly told you. You told her.”

“You have to understand Y/N I’ve-”

“Save it. I don’t want to hear it. I am going to leave now, I hope everything goes well at your appointment and that you have a nice day.” You bolted out of the room holding back tears before either of them could say anything. You knew you’d have to see them together, you’d prepared yourself for the pain, you just didn’t think you'd have to feel it right on the heels of feeling the connection you had with your unborn child. And the looks Renee was giving you, as if you’d been knocked up in a scandalous affair or something, not only stung but rubbed you the wrong way. Leslie’s right, there’s definitely something more going on. You, however, had a mini person to take care of, and no time to investigate. You’d leave that to Shay.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your new boss Sgt. Hank Voight had been surprisingly understanding and supportive. He immediately told you that you were not allowed in the field. You had a degree in computer science, so you were still able to be useful which pleased you. Working for intelligence had allowed you to connect with a childhood friend of yours, Connor Rhodes. You’d met Connor when you’d gotten a scholarship to his prep school and became surprising fast and loyal friends. Which explained why you had to hold him back when you two ran into Kelly and Renee while at lunch. Unlike Leslie, Connor had been adamant that you tell Kelly so that he could step up and be there for you. It had taken quite a while to convince Connor to not hunt Kelly down and fight him. He may not look like it, but Connor seriously knew how to fight.

“Oh, hi Y/N!” Renee’s voice was as perky and smug as ever. “Hi Renee, Kelly. It’s really nice to see you but we should get going, have a great lunch.” You were planning to make a couple pleasantries, grab Connor, and bolt, but that all went to hell when Kelly narrowed his eyes. “What’re you doing here, Rhodes?”

“Having lunch with this lovely, incredible woman, what else would I be doing?”

“Isn’t there a surgery you need to be doing?” Kelly was quite visibly seething. “Oh, you’re a surgeon?” Renee was roaming her eyes up and down Connor’s body while biting her lip. “Yes, I am a surgeon. I had the day off, so I decided to help Y/N with buying the nursery furniture and stuff while the paint on the nursery is drying.”

“You’re the father? How did she manage to trap you?” Renee’s accusatory words were not taken well by Connor or Kelly, the latter looking at her as though she’d just kicked his puppy. “No, I am not the father, but I really wish I was.” He’d said it in such a way that if you hadn’t known him as well as you did, you’d believe him.“

“The identity of my baby’s father really isn’t any of your concern Renee.”

“Well I was just curious-”

“You should have known that it was rude and offensive to ask the things you have and behaved the way you have. Connor, let’s go. Please.”

“Yeah, good idea Y/N-”

“If you're not the father, what’re you doing, Rhodes?”

“Stepping up since you didn’t.” The silence around the four of you was deafening. Renee looked like the cat that ate the canary, Connor looked immensely regretful, Kelly paled and looked and your now somewhat noticeable bump. His eyes met yours and you couldn’t take the look of betrayal in his eyes. You ran. Out the door, down the street, and hailed the first cab you saw.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was two days later when you heard knocking on your door. You opened it and there stood Kelly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Hello to you too, Kelly.”

“Y/N.”

“You didn’t tell me that Renee came back or that she was pregnant or that you were going to be a dad, you just ghosted me.”

“Renee’s baby isn’t mine. We did a DNA test.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’re here.”

“Y/N-”

“No Kelly. You don’t get to pop in and out of my life as you please. You just dropped me, and yes, it was an understandable decision. But I had to hear about it from Leslie. You avoided me for weeks. We had a thing going, a good thing, and you decided that it wasn’t good. That what we had wasn’t enough to deserve an explanation.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t enough.”

“Tell me what to do to make it better. I’ll do anything.”

“Make me pancakes.”

“... What?”

“Make me pancakes. I’ve been craving them.”

“Alright, you got all the supplies?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, I’ll get to work.”

---------------------------------------------

“Can I see the nursery after you’re done eating?”

“It’s not set up yet.” Kelly perked up and there was a nervous glow in his eyes. “Can... I set it up?” You looked at him thoughtfully, his eyes were pleading under your scrutinizing gaze. Well, if he did it, you wouldn’t have to. “Sure.”

“Yes! Thank you. Uh, if you don’t mind my asking, why hasn’t Connor done it?” He looked terrified as he asked the question. “He’s been busy with his fellowship, plus I’ve felt like enough of a burden on him.”

“You’re not a burden. You’d never be a burden.” His voice was like his gaze, soft, genuine, and loving. You smiled tenderly and decided to enjoy it while it lasts.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were six months pregnant and finally in need of maternity clothes. As you walked up to Trudy and the front desk she smiled at you and gestured to the dress you were wearing. “You look great Y/N.”

“I look fat.”

“Y/N you look pregnant and you’re glowing. You look beautiful.” She smiled softly at you and you smiled back. “Thanks Trudy.”

“No problem Y/N-”

BANG BANG BANG

“EVERYONE GET ON THE GROUND AND DO AS I SAY!” A gunman had startled you and you immediately dropped to the ground when you heard the shots go off. “You. Pregnant bitch. Get up and come here. Now.” You looked at Trudy, wide-eyed, not knowing what to do. “ARE YOU DEAF?! GET UP AND COME HERE!” Your body went cold and your blood was pumping so fast it was all you could hear. You kneeled and then used the desk to pull yourself up, never taking a hand off of your enlarged and vulnerable stomach.once you got close enough to see the rage in his green eyes he grabbed your arm, whipped you around, and placed the barrel of his gun to your forehead. “I have some demands,” he spoke to the precinct, “and if I don’t get what I want, I’ll blow her brains out.” Everything went fuzzy after that, voices blurred together, you couldn’t focus on what was happening. You were panicking and couldn’t do anything to stop it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up in a hospital bed, an IV in your arm, and heart monitors on your chest. Your throat felt like sandpaper and your cheeks felt stiff and a little sticky from tears. You felt a weight on your hand and looked to see that it was Kelly. He was awake and clinging to your hand while murmuring as tears flooded down his cheeks. “Kelly?”

“Y/N! Oh, thank god you’re awake. April!” You were swarmed by nurses and doctors checking your vitals, asking you how you’re feeling. Somewhere in the hustle and bustle Connor, Voight, and Olinsky had entered the room. “How’re you doing kid?” Voight’s rough voice was oddly comforting. “I’m okay, I just... don’t remember what happened. When he grabbed me I just panicked and everything blurred together. I just...” I started to tear up, I was an unreliable witness, I froze when my baby was in danger. “Hey Y/N, don’t cry, it’s okay. We understand completely. We just came to check on you and pancake.” You smiled at the nickname Olinsky had given your baby when he found out about your cravings. Connor wrapped his arms around you. “I was so worried when they wheeled you into ED. I’m relieved that the both of you are okay. Nat’s gonna be back in soon to go over some things you’ll need to be careful of because of this.”

“What? But you said the baby was okay! What aren’t you telling us Rhodes?!”

“Severide! Either calm down or leave. Y/N does not need anymore stress!” Kelly was seething but obeyed Voight, knowing what the man was capable of doing. “Hey, Y/N is now a good time to come in and discuss your results or should I come back?” Nat was nervously standing in the doorway, eyes flitting between Kelly and Connor. “Come on in Nat. I want to know everything and I won’t hold off on that because these two want to have a pissing contest.” Both men bashfully backed down and Nat entered the room. “Your blood pressure was extremely high when you came in.That can be incredibly dangerous, to you and the baby. So, you’ll have to go on a low-sodium diet, I’ll give you a list of light exercise you’ll need to do, but other than that you’ll be on bed rest. You’ll need to make an appointment in three weeks. As long as you’re careful, eat healthy, and avoid stress you’ll be fine.” You took a deep breath as you absorbed the news and cradled your stomach. “I’d also feel much better if I knew there was someone at home who could take care of you.”

“I can. I’ve been staying with her for the past three weeks and, as long as she’s cool with it, I’ll stay as long as needed.” Kelly looked at you, promise in his eyes. Connor huffed and said, “what about when you’re on shift?”

“Everyone at Intelligence has been worried about her, we’ll take turns keeping tabs on and spending the day with her.” Hank’s answer was definitive and stopped anymore arguing. “Thanks Sarg.”

“No problem kid.”

“Y/N,” Nat said, bringing attention back to her, “do you have any questions for me?”

“Yeah, I do have one actually. Am I allowed to have pancakes?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your appointment had come and gone very slowly. This was mostly due to the fact that Kelly was smothering and overprotective. You’d been delighted when you were taken off bedrest, even though you’d still been told to be careful. Kelly did not let up on his protectiveness. Even when you invited him to stay with you in your bed.

Things with you and Kelly had gotten even more complicated. Everyone knew he was the father, you were living together, and you’d started doing couple-y things. Going out to dinner once a week (only once you were off bedrest), being each other’s emergency contacts, moving in together, sharing a bed, intimate gestures, and preparing for the arrival of a baby together. “Hey Y/N, how was your day?” He quickly kissed your forehead before going to the kitchen to put away the groceries he’d just bought. You felt... unsure. You didn’t know what your relationship was and that concerned you. You had fallen even more in love with him and you just didn’t know what to do with that information. Kelly seemed to sense that your mood had changed from cheerful to troubled and sat next to you on the couch. “What’s wrong? And don’t tell me there’s nothing wrong, you keep staring off into space and frowning. I know that being eight- almost nine- months pregnant isn’t exactly a picnic, but I’m worried about you. Please, Y/N.”

“What are we?”

“Huh?”

“Are we dating? Co-parenting? I just... I’m in love with you, okay? It hurts, knowing that it’s possible you’re only here out of a sense of duty. That you don’t... love me back-” You were interrupted by Kelly kissing you. His hands moved to the sides of your face as he kissed you lovingly, desperately. It was like he was worried you were going to disappear on him. You parted, panting, foreheads pressed together. “I love you. So much. When Renee told me she was pregnant, I was excited to be a dad, but I was sad that it wouldn’t be with you. That’s why I didn’t tell you, I couldn’t face you. I wanted you to be the pregnant one, not her. It hurt, to wake up with her and not you, to go to doctor’s appointments with her instead of you. And when April told me you’d been taken to the hospital after being taken hostage and that you were unresponsive? I collapsed. I answered the phone and my knees just buckled Casey and Cruz caught me and drove me to the hospital. You are without a doubt, one of the most important people in my life. The others being Leslie and pancake. I can’t pinpoint when I fell in love with you, but I fell hard, and I couldn’t be happier. I want a relationship and future with you. I know that might be a little fast, but I’ll take anything you’re willing to give me. I’ll work as hard as possible to earn it. We can go slow, fast, or just go with the flow, but I love you, I love pancake, and I want to get married one day and have more kids.”

“I love you so much Kelly, I want to work for that future, too.” Kelly let out a laugh and the bubble of anxiety within you disappeared. You grabbed his shirt and pulled him down for a long, loving, smiling kiss that was filled to the brim with promises for the future.

#one chicago #chicago pd #chicago med #chicago fire #connor rhodes #connor rhodes x reader #kelly severide #kelly severide x reader #leslie shay x reader #leslie shay #hank voight

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marvel-lucy · 5 years ago

Text

Kidnapping 101

A case of mistaken identity by some poorly trained Hydra agents

I don’t think I ever posted this on here, only on AO3. But I’m re-reading my old fics and feeling needy for validation so I’m going to repost it anyway, even though it’s two years old :)

-----

You weren’t supposed to be here. This was not in your calendar for today and you hated unscheduled meetings. You were pretty sure this kind of work wasn’t mentioned in your job description from Stark Industries either. And you had no idea if you could claim expenses for this – how would you code ‘damaged by Hydra during torture’ on the finance system...?

It was possible you were getting a little delirious

Earlier

You were the third person to find out that Pepper was pregnant, after her doctor and Tony. You weren't technically supposed to know, but after the second time you'd gone to look for her when she was late for a meeting, only to find her throwing up in her office's private bathroom, she took you into her confidence.

You'd been working with her for over a year now and right up until this moment you'd have said you were confident in your abilities. You had a law degree, you had a Masters in Business Administration, you had experience, but right now you felt as if you were the lowliest work experience kid, dressed in your Mom's too-big clothes and about to cry.

Pepper was due in a big meeting, right now, and instead she was lying on her bathroom floor, a mess. You'd accompanied her to all the previous meetings and knew the situation inside out but now she'd asked you to go cover for her. Alone.

It should be simple, right? It was a meeting about some new tech that another organisation wanted to link up with Stark on. Most of the details had been thrashed out, this was mostly just a show-around, glad-handing type, with a little bit of legal wrangling over croissants and fake smiles. You’d have a couple of legal assistants with you, you just had to not promise anything while sounding as if you were agreeing to all they said.

So, you grabbed documents, iPad, pen, paper. Straightened your skirt, brushed your hair off your face, plastered on a smile of fake confidence and hoped you didn’t make a deal that ended up bringing down the firm.

Of course, as it turned out, that might have been preferable. You’d entered the room, shaking hands and smiling and thanking them for coming, surprised rather at the amount of muscle in the room – you were used to the Avengers and their multitude of biceps and abs, but you didn’t usually see it in business meetings. Still, healthy lifestyles were obviously catching on. You offered coffee but head Muscleman (shit, you hadn’t caught his name. In fact, you hadn’t even introduced yourself. Too late now, nod and smile nod and smile) wanted to look around, his Muscleminions nodding in agreement. So you set off, chatting inanely, leaving the assistants to set up the paperwork.

Mr Muscle asked to start the tour at the top, saying he’d heard the view from the top of Stark Tower was amazing, so you all squeezed into an elevator and headed up. You tried making small talk with one of the minions, a woman standing next to you but she looked at you pretty blankly and you decided that most of these suits were obviously here to make up the numbers, to impress Pepper.

“So, we’re as high as we can go now, as you can see New York does look pretty good from up here! As new business partners, you will of course be invited to Mr. Stark’s regular parties up…. HEY, what the…. Mmmmmffffff!”

Ms Muscleminion had grabbed you from behind and now had her hand clamped over your mouth. You kicked and struggled but there were far more of them than you, and suddenly one of the others was approaching, needle in hand.“Hail Hydra” he said, as he stabbed the needle into your thigh. You heard the sound of a helicopter approaching and everything went dark.

Next thing you knew, you were in a stereotypical evildoers’ lair. Honestly, you’d think Hydra could afford something other than underground-car-park chic or the abandoned-warehouse-aesthetic. Hysteria was setting in apparently.

You were tied to a chair and had a feeling that bad things were going to happen. Yeah, this was definitely not on your ‘to do’ list for today.You were starting to feel uncomfortable. Your head ached from whatever drug they’d given you, your arms and legs were hurting from being held in one position, you were thirsty and you were seriously pissed off. There was a reason that you were called SheHulk on occasion; you were known for your temper.

The door opened and the man from the business meeting entered again. He pulled up a chair near you, scraping the metal across the floor. Presumably this was supposed to menace you but you rolled your eyes at the cliché.“So, Ms Potts, I assume you’re intelligent to understand you are now our hostage. Mr Stark will, I’m sure, provide us with whatever we desire, to ensure your safe return.” He grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but grin back. Oh god, they thought you were Pepper, this was hysterical (OK, maybe it wasn’t, but you weren’t thinking straight). You remembered realising you’d forgotten to introduce yourself in your nerves about the meeting. And they weren’t the first to make the mistake – even Tony had groped you by accident from behind at a party once, you and Pepper had identical hair after all. And they had been expecting Pepper… You opened your mouth to correct him then gulped and shut it hurriedly. They were not going to keep some assistant alive and healthy when they realised their mistake. You were going to need to play along.

“Tony doesn’t bargain with Hydra.” You eyed the man as your aching brain tried to think about what Pepper would do, what you should do, what they’d do…“Oh I think he will when he sees what we’re capable of, Ms Potts.” He grinned again and suddenly you weren’t feeling like grinning again.

A couple of his goons set up a laptop, its webcam aimed at you. That little part of your brain that was in hysterical mode wanted to ask what the wi-fi reception was like under all this concrete but luckily the rest of your brain was too busy panicking to listen.

All turned on and set up, you could see yourself on the laptop screen. You didn’t look great to be honest, they obviously hadn’t been too gentle carrying your unconscious body; there were scrapes across your face, dirty marks on your suit and your hair – Pepper’s hair – was every which way.

“Mr Stark, as you can see, we have Ms Potts. She is well… for now. That can change. You will find a list of our requirements at the end of this broadcast, along with details for how to contact us. You have one hour.”

You knew you needed to get Tony to play along when he saw this, not let on that you weren’t Pepper, so before they turned off the recording, you quickly spoke.

“Tony, it’s Pep here. Who knew Hydra would want to kidnap Pepper Potts, right…?”

That was all you had time for before a resounding slap around the side of your head silenced you. You bit your tongue as your head snapped sideways and the real fear started.The three Hydra agents picked up the laptop and moved away from you, talking. You listened as hard as you could to their conversation.

“So what do we do? Email it?”

“No, he can trace the signal. Put it on a DVD?”

“What and post it?”

“No, idiot, that’ll take forever. Get a messenger. You do know how to burn a DVD?”

“I can google it…”

Oh. My. God. Apparently you’d been kidnapped by the least competent bad guys ever. Were they… trainees?! How humiliating!

“Look, we have to get this right, go get the DVD sorted, we have to be quick.”

“Yeah, does the one-hour deadline start from when we stopped recording or when he sees it? I mean, what if he doesn’t watch the DVD!?”

Great. Were you going to have to give them Kidnapping 101 just so they could get this right?!

“We’ve got to get that tech before the weekend. Once the General is back, we have to have something to show him or else he’s going to skin us!”

You are kidding, right. This wasn’t just a Kidnapping by Kids, it was unauthorised? What, they were trying to get extra credit on their Hydra Degrees by being proactive? You let out a groan and let your head drop, drawing their attention to you. They shifted and all headed out of the room, presumably to choose their favourite fonts for the ransom note. Jeez, I bet they wrote it in Comic Sans.

Once they’d gone, you were still in the same position. Tied up, uncomfortable, ear ringing still from the slap and the iron taste of blood in your mouth. To be honest, you also needed to use the bathroom, which did not put you in a better frame of mind.

They left you there for what felt like hours, while you wriggled your arms and legs inside their bonds in an attempt to get free. You could feel the bonds loosening – presumably they’d never got their ‘knot tying’ girl scout badge – but when the door opened again you felt yourself tensing up.

“He hasn’t responded. Why hasn’t he responded?!” The larger man put his face close to yours as he shouted and you could see the anger and anxiety in his face. A dangerous combination, he had a lot to prove it seemed and you were the material he had to prove himself on.

The laptop was set up again and the man stood behind you, grabbing your hair tight in his fist and yanking your head back. You let out a gasp of pain.

“Mr Stark. Do you really value your fiancée’s life so little? Would you like her returned piece by piece? You have the phone number you need, ring us within an hour of receiving this, unless you enjoy seeing your Ms Potts suffer”

At that, things took a turn for the serious, as the woman from the lift stepped forward and punched you in the stomach. You jerked forward involuntarily, but yelled out as the grip on your hair tightened. Unable to lean forward to relieve the pain, you gasped, winded. The SheHulk was released however and you started shouting.

“You piece of shit, you fuckers, Tony, blow this whole place up I don’t care!” You shook side to side in your chair, trying to loosen your bonds further, but another blow to your stomach left you unable to breathe again and dizzy from pain.The Hydra agents gathered up their things and left again.

The next time they appeared, after another agonising wait, you had regained your breath but not your temper. Your stomach ached and you were running on adrenaline. You’d managed to work all bar one of your bonds loose and were just working on the last when they reappeared.

“Mr Stark wants more proof that you are alive”. A phone was pressed against your ear.

“‘Pepper’, that you? Can you keep talking for a bit…?”

“Tony darling, I’m cold and sore in this damn underground bunker and I am going to claim so much damn overtime…”

“Enough.” The phone was taken away from your ear. That probably wasn’t enough to trace a call but it depended on how long Tony had been talking to the Hydra idiot before you and how long they talked now.

“You have our list Mr Stark, and the location for the drop… I don’t care if you don’t have all the components, you have to find them… Well I said one hour! Ok fine, two. OK FINE, THREE. You have three hours that should be more than sufficient to gather things from your other base. No you can’t talk to her again. No. Just shut up! OK fine!”

The phone was held up against your ear again.“You doing OK kid? This’ll all be over soon. Sooner than they may expect. Just don’t do anything stupid OK?”

“How can I, they’ve got all the stupid here” You grinned. ‘Sooner than they may expect’ made you think they were on their way.

The phone call was cut off and the man backhanded you across the face, probably for your rudeness. You spat out blood at him and he saw red. Perhaps he could sense this slipping away from him – kidnappers generally didn’t end up conceding so much to their victims, but Tony was good at that.

He went to punch you again but at that point, you really did hulk out. You pulled your arms and legs free from the loosened bonds just as he lunged forwards, and threw yourself sideways. Your legs nearly gave way after being tied up for so long, so you grabbed at the chair for support, then when he came at you with a roar, threw it at his face, stamping your feet and shaking your arms to get the feeling back, and regretting it as the pins and needles started. That just threw you into an even worse mood.

“I. Fucking. Hate. Pins and Needles. You bastard!”. As heroic lines go, it probably needed work, but your adrenaline was racing and your heart was pounding and you were furious. You threw yourself down as he ran at you again, knocking his legs out from under him, then pummelling his face before rolling him over and yanking his arms up behind him.

“Did you really think anyone working with Stark didn’t get to train with the Avengers, you MORON?”

You grabbed at the rope that had tied you to the chair and had him hog-tied within seconds, just in time as the other two came in the door and saw what you were doing. Your blood was up and your legs were working now and it was no great effort to take down two poorly trained and obviously low level Hydra fools, not when you had compulsory training with Captain America and Black Widow three times a week.

“THIS WASN’T ON MY SCHEDULE!!” You shouted as your arms blurred with the speed of your punches. Even with the two of them attacking you, it was no great effort and within a few minutes both were lying on the ground groaning. You panted hard, then looked up at the sound of applause.

Tony Stark, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson were all leaning against the wall near the door, watching you and clapping.

“You bastards!” You panted, hands on knees. “You couldn’t have joined in?”

“Oh you looked like you were having way too much fun, ‘Pepper’. I know you hate it when I interfere in your business meetings.”

The men walked towards you as Stark spoke, Rogers reaching you first and holding you up. Despite the sarcasm, you could see the concern on their faces at what you might have been through.You leant on Tony heavily as you left the room, leaving Sam and Steve to gather up – and laugh at – the Hydra idiots, kidnapping the wrong person and then getting taken down three against one.

Tony hugged you to him and whispered thanks against your hair.

“You owe me Stark. Overtime, a corner office, and…”

“Some more time off?”

“No, you can call the damn baby after me”

-----

@melconnor2007@emilyevanston @kittyslove @badassbaker @phoenix21love @lbouvet @bellenuit45 @prplprincez @gingerrootknits @pineapplebooboo @feelmyroarrrr @avengerofyourheart @eyeofdionysus @hellomissmabel @learisa @mitra-k-w @imhereforbvcky @shaddixlife @iwillbeinmynest @amrita31199 @whatsbetterthanfantasy @pixierox101 @edward-lover18 @madcheshire89 @heartfulloffandoms @chipilerendi @kenya-17 @mckorni32843 @amandarosemire @rda89 @nyxveracity @sea040561 @mrsalh32611 @ruinerofcheese @callmebucky-doll @vintagepigeon @bubbasmom @sassycanoodler @ladylorelitany @natcad @thisismysecrethappyplace @mywinterwolf

#marvel fic #fluff #pepper potts #tony stark #funny? maybe? probably not

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lexthemondo · 5 years ago

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Dirty Dancing {1}

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Park Jimin; Radio-host!Yoongi; Fem!Yoongi; Translator!Jimin; Alternate-universe!AU; Non-Idol!AU.

Warnings: Language, mentions of smut, violence, transgender character, mentions of suicide, eating disorder, talks of mental health, mentions of self-harm, talks of racial discrimination; POLITICS

Other Notes: V-Hope, NamJin, Sana of Twice is in this story, SanKook, Lisa of Blackpink is in this as well, Liskook, Trans!Hoseok

Summary: Local radio talk show host, Min Yoongi, has been running from his past for years, but when his closest friend Jung Hoseok introduces him to a handsome translator from Korea, Yoongi thinks he might have found something- or someone- to run to.

Song of the chapter: You’re So Cool, Jonathan Bree

Word count: 3,507

“Now I’ve had the time of my life…”

Yoongi sang along happily, letting his eyes close slowly as the lyrics flew out of his mouth. His body slowly started grooving along to the music, and without a second thought, he got off the couch and started dancing along with Johnny and Baby. Yoongi twirled around the living room without a partner, and barely missed trampling his precious Holly by mere inches.

“You’re the one thing, I can’t get enough of…”

Yoongi continued to sing as his not-so-perfect dance moves made him feel invincible. He was on cloud nine, and it wasn’t until something cold and wet splashed on his feet that Yoongi snapped out of his daze. He groaned loudly, Holly’s water bowl was upside down and the freshwater was now soaking his carpet. Yoongi ran a hand through his hair and looked at the tv to see that his favorite part of the movie was coming up. Baby ran as fast as she could towards Johnny, and his strong arms lifted her up into the sky. Yoongi sighed and looked at the floor. Holly was licking his foot.

“Holly,” He said sadly, “You’re lucky you’re a dog. You don’t have to find someone who can beat 1980s, Patrick Swayze.”

He got a small whine in response. “I know girl,” Yoongi bent down and picked up the toy poodle, “They don’t make them like they used to.”

Yoongi walked back to the couch, completely ignoring the mess, and plopped down. Holly curled up in his arms while he finished watching the last few minutes. Dirty Dancing was easily Yoongi’s favorite movie, he could recite it word-for-word at this point, and even being a hopeless dancer, he managed to engrave the choreography in his mind. It was at the part where Johnny is mouthing the words of the song to Baby when his phone chimed making Holly let out a squeaky bark.

“Hush, it’s not the doorbell,” Yoongi scolded, mentally reminding himself to change his notification tone.

Hobi [11:43 PM] Bonjour hyung!

Yoongi smiled fondly at the screen. Hoseok had been his closest friend since middle school. The pair were never apart, and even when Hoseok had come out to Yoongi and told him of their gender crisis, Yoongi had never turned his back to Hoseok. They had formed a bond, and when Hoseok had fallen in love with a foreign man during college, Yoongi did not feel anger when the two of them did not see one another as often. If Hoseok was happy then so was Yoongi.

Me [11:44 PM] Salut. What’s up? I thought you were with Tae.

Hobi [11:46 PM] Oh, I still am! He’s such a dreamboat, hyung! Propre sur lui, charment, tres beaux.

Me [11: 49 PM] Are you just going to talk about Tae because I’d like to know how your doctor’s appointment went. I’m sorry for not being able to come. I had to finish my script for tomorrow night’s show.

Hobi [11:55 PM]

No worries! Well, the surgery is going to cost a shit ton of money which I was expecting. That’s not really a problem. I have the money for it. The weird thing is… the doctor was kind of rude once I told him that I didn’t want breast implants

Yoongi felt his ear heating up. Most doctors reacted the same way. Hoseok’s decision to keep their flat chest was a popular topic at their support groups and therapist office. To keep it frank, it pissed Yoongi off. He knew how much it hurt his friend when someone downplayed their gender identity solely because they did not want fake breasts. Hoseok had explained to Yoongi that they had thought about it and realized that it was a decision that they were very firm on. Hoseok did not want implants, not because they were confused or having second thoughts, but because they were a professional gymnast. Hoseok was constantly surrounded by muscular women who had a chest like their own. Of course, this did not stop the weird glances at them once they let this little fact about themselves be known.

Me [11: 58 PM] Did you tell him your view on that whole situation? Maybe he was trying to see if you were serious because of how expensive a vaginoplasty is?

Hobi [11:59 PM] No…kind of seemed like he didn’t take me seriously after that.

Me [12:01 AM] Are you for real? What the hell happened?

Hobi [12:03 AM]

Yeah. He went from being supportive to trying to talk me out of the procedure. I just told him I would go somewhere else.

Hobi [12:06 AM] It wasn’t a great feeling at all

Hobi [12:15 AM] Kind of like I wasn’t woman enough to be getting a sex change. He even commented on the fact that I’m still going by my “male” name. I had to share personal shit with the guy. Then he misgendered me twice and even said it was odd that I wanted a sex change even though I don’t go by female pronouns. Like dude what the fuck?

Yoongi stared at his phone and felt the heat from his ears spread across his entire body.

Hobi [12:17 AM] Anyway, Taehyung’s friend from Korea is coming to France for a few weeks and he wanted to know if you were down for dinner with us. From what I’ve seen of him, he’s super cute 😉

Me [12:19 AM] Are you seriously trying to set me up with some dude right after telling me about some fucking asshole treating you like garbage when he’s supposed to be helping you? Really Hobi? Are you okay?

Hobi [12:21 AM] Yeah, I’m great. I’m used to this kind of shit by now. I don’t completely blame the guy for being hesitant. It is a life-altering surgery. I won’t be able to go back afterward. I didn’t appreciate the comments about my sexuality or the misgendering, but my entire transition has been a wild ride for everyone involved. Even you. I promise you that I’m okay. I would’ve called you crying by now if not and we both know it lol. Are you coming or not?

Yoongi felt himself cooling down. His heart filled with adoration for the woman Hoseok had become. It had been a very confusing and hard journey to get where they are now, but Yoongi was so proud of his friend. Hoseok had gone from ‘Henri,’ the only other French-Korean kid in Dijon, to ‘Henri’ the “flaming gay” in middle school, and finally Hoseok, the professional gymnast in their woman’s league during their freshman year at university. Yoongi would always cherish those memories. Though they had been the hardest times of his life, and even harder for Hoseok, he would not change a single thing. Those were the days that gave him the most important person in his life.

Me [12:26 AM] Yeah, I’ll be there. Is it just me, you, Tae, and his allegedly cute friend?

Hobi [12:27 AM] Those are the definite ones, yes. Kook said him and Sana might drop by before they go back to Japan

Me [12:29 AM] Great.

Hobi [12:31 AM] I’m not happy about it either. I don’t like her any more than you do, but Jungkook is Taehyung’s best friend and I’ll put up with her so they can see one another.

Me: [12:32 AM] I miss Lisa. Kook seemed happier, and he is miserable in Japan. Jungkook misses France. Jungkook misses Lisa. I wouldn’t be surprised if he snuck out to see her.

Hobi [12:34 AM] Everyone misses Lisa, hyung. If Kook’s willing to deal with Sana, then let’s let him be happy. We can’t bring up his ex every chance we get just because we don’t like Sana. But that doesn’t mean I’m not team Lisa all the way.

Hobi [12:37 AM] Oh, he hasn’t...yet. We did make reservations at the most wonderful Korean restaurant in town though. Who knows, maybe a certain Kim Namjoon’s little cousin will be waiting tables... and our table just might be in her section as told to me by the uncle’s husband himself. Apparently, Lisa got a phone call last night and ran out during closing. I think she was running after her white rabbit.

Me [12:38 AM] Team Lisa > Team Sana

Me [12:47 AM] I do love Jin’s lamb skewers. I don’t know Hobi. That seems like we’re stepping over certain boundaries. Jungkook is a grown man. He’s not our little bunny boy anymore. You know that. Whatever is going on between him and Lisa is between them. Sana is his girlfriend. I don’t like her, I don’t think I ever will, and you just said you were going to play nice. All this is going to do is stress out Kook, piss off Sana, and really hurt Lisa. So, please don’t make her wait our table and give Sana another reason to keep Jungkook as far away from Dijon as possible.

Hobi [12:40 AM] I hate it when you’re reasonable. Look, I understand that and all, but Sana is hardly a girlfriend. Kook doesn’t even smile when she’s around. I don’t want them together. I want him to dump her and get his head back on and get with the most perfect girl. I’m going to make this happen Yoongi, one way or another I always get my way. Anyway, I’m tired. What are you talking about tomorrow? Make sure to message me when you’re about to start. You’re my only source of entertainment when Tae’s at work. Get some sleep, you need it. No more all-nighters. Thanks for being wonderful and supportive. Don’t worry about me so much! I love you~~~~~~ niiiiiight!

Me [12:41 AM] I know you’re trying to help him, but please just let Jungkook figure these things out on his own. I’ll talk to him if that’ll make you feel better... just don’t put Lisa through that. You know how she feels about him and seeing him there with a supermodel on his arm is going to destroy her. Do you really think Jungkook deserves Lisa after all he did? Do I miss them? Yes, but I understand that everything changes. Let her move on and let Jungkook become an adult on his own. We’re talking political parties and shit. Namjoon’s idea. It’s about as exciting as watching paint dry. You’re going to pass out within the first two minutes. Sadly, I don’t have a funny or entertaining story to tell, and Joon really wants any excuse to rag on the communist party. I don’t blame the guy, but I hate talking about the same shit repeatedly. I’ll text you. I’m out of my pills and melatonin doesn’t work. Not a problem. I’ll always worry about you. You too. Night.

Yoongi tossed his phone on the coffee table in front of him. Not even flinching when the impact made a loud clang. Holly jumped, suddenly startled, and hid her face in the crook of Yoongi’s neck. He laughed, although he didn’t make a sound, and began to soothe his puppy.

“It’s alright Holly,” He said, lightly stroking her curly hair, “It’s nothing. I’ll protect you from the vicious sound demons. I promise.”

Then, without a second of hesitation, Holly turned her head and gave Yoongi a big lick on the mouth.

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“Good show tonight,” Yoongi said, flipping his hair behind his shoulders in search for a rubber band. “I can’t say the same for my hair, though. I have to go to dinner with Hoseok and Tae tonight, they’re trying to hook me up with some rando.”

“Tragic,” Najoonn replied, raising an eyebrow and picking up his duffel bag from off the floor.

“Cool it with the whole ‘being an asshole’ thing you got going on,” Yoongi looked at Namjoon and then the coffee cup in his hand, and then back again, “What’s the matter? You’re not usually this pissy.”

“Fucking Jin. He keeps on saying that Jungkook and Lisa are getting back together. It’s pissing me off. The guy is in Japan with some model now. Lisa was just starting to get back to normal and now I hear this prick is coming for a visit. I don’t get it. If he doesn’t want to be with Lisa, then why won’t he leave her alone?”

Yoongi pursed his lips and looked at the ground. He was not sure how to respond. He loved Namjoon dearly, and Lisa as well, but picking sides was not his style. He knew that Jungkook had hurt Lisa, which in turn, turned half of their old group against him, but Yoongi was aware of Lisa’s faults as well. He was a bad listener, but she was a control freak. When Lisa would make a mistake, Jungkook would be uncontrollably angry, but when the roles were reversed, she was spiteful. They were not picture-perfect, but for every bad thing that had ever happened at least a hundred, good things did. They were happy until the very end. Until Jungkook abruptly ended things and moved to Japan. Until he was on the cover of magazines. Until he was with Sana.

“Joon, look,” Yoongi began, finally finding his hair tie and wrapping his hair up haphazardly. “Lisa and Kook are grown, and for your information, it wasn’t just your husband making all this planning. Who do you think put the bug in his ear?”

Namjoon rolled his eyes and wiped his hand down his face, “Hoseok.”

“Bingo. Don’t worry, we’ve been talking about this for the past three days. I convinced them to let me handle the situation and just talk to Jungkook. I just want to see where his mind’s at. They’re just trying to help.”

“Help?” Namjoon stood up hastily, fumbling a bit, his cigarettes falling out of his lap. “Do they think any of this is going to be good for my baby cousin? No, of course not. All they care about is Jungkook and how he feels. He left Lisa. He hurt her. Why are they so worried about him when he’s a rich model with a rich model girlfriend?”

“Because he’s miserable, Joon.” Yoongi replied.

Namjoon’s expression fell. Yoongi could almost hear the “you may speak now” when he looked into his friend’s eyes. Namjoon was getting defensive, and when he gets defensive there is nothing you can do but let him get it out and move on. If you do not leave it alone, then he becomes excited and angry, a real hot-head, and when it is all over, he will not speak to you for at least two weeks. Luckily for Yoongi, however, he and Namjoon work together every day. He could not escape him even if he wanted to.

“I know Lisa is your cousin, I get it. You need to remember that you used to be the one that would talk to Jungkook when he was down. You were his favorite. He looked up to you like a God. You were the big brother he never had and the father he always wanted. He is miserable. Miserable enough to call Lisa the first night he gets to Dijon to meet with him. Miserable enough to come back home knowing that his best friend hates him. Miserable enough to sit at a table with half of the people he cares about not there because of him. Jungkook is not happy, and Sana is nothing more than a distraction. You know that as much as I do.

“I agree with you, Joon. Lisa deserves so much better and I have tried time and time again to reach out to her, but she won’t answer my calls. You and Jin are the only two people who she speaks to, she avoids us like the plague and didn’t even have the decency to tell Hoseok she wanted to switch gyms until the last minute when she knew they needed her for competition. But the second Jungkook is in town she drops everything she’s going to see him. She is a grown woman. I’m mad at them both. Stop making the boy feel guilty for breaking up with someone.”

“Lisa is not ‘just someone’ Min Yoongi,” Namjoon picked up his cigarettes, slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, and walked away, roughly shoulder swiping Yoongi on his way out. “Have a nice time at dinner. Hope your new boy toy doesn’t end up like the last.”

“Go fuck yourself,” Yoongi replied, but the door was already slamming shut.

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Yoongi checked his appearance in the car mirror once again. His hair had been tied up to hide how awful it looked after wearing a beanie for the entire show, and he was still skeptical of his makeup. He never did the best job when he was angry. After touching up his eyebrows and mascara that he had put on that morning before going to work, he lightly concealed his under eyes and the small acne scars that dotted his cheekbones, powdered, and applied a generous amount of lip gloss to his lips. He was nervous that the small light in his car was deceiving him into thinking he looked better than he did, but it was too late to fix anything. He was already running late.

He stumbled out of his truck, ankles almost giving out and he could not figure out if it was a bad hop or the heels, he picked out specifically so he would not bust his ass.

“Of course, I fall,” He said to himself, “I should know that always happens when I try to look cool.”

He knew Hoseok was there the second he walked in. He did not have to see them to know they were there. That laugh was distinct and the Korean flying out of their mouth only solidified that fact. He followed the sounds to a little booth in the back of the restaurant, a small divider giving the party some privacy. Yoongi gave it to Jin, at least they would not bother the entire restaurant…hopefully.

“Hyung!” Taehyung exclaimed, his smile widening in a cute box shape, and it reminded Yoongi just how boyish he was. “You’re here!”

“I said I was coming, didn’t I?” Yoongi replied, finding a seat at the floor table.

“Well, you were late so I wasn’t sure you would show up.” Hoseok added, giving Yoongi a dirty look.

“Don’t look at me like that. I can’t control traffic or Namjoon’s bitch fits at the end of the day. I’m sorry I fucked with you OCD, though.”

“Geez,” Hoseok rolled their eyes, “What was his problem this time?”

“The whole Jungkook situation. He got pissed off that I was coming to dinner with you guys even though Kook would be here. Things escalated from there. He brought him up, too.”

“He did what?” Hoseok’s eyes widened, and slammed their drink on the table, “Are you serious? That bastard.”

“Eh, this is Joon we’re talking about. The most melodramatic person on the planet. It’s no biggie. Anyway,” Yoongi looked around, “where’s this ‘attractive’ friend of yours, Tae?”

“Oh, he went out for a smoke. He should be back in a minute.”

“You’re hooking me up with a smoker? Really? That’s gross.”

“Smoking is the dirtiest thing that boy does,” Hoseok defended, “Just give him a chance. Jimin’s your type. Small, fair, funny, sweet, and his butt is nice. He used to be a dancer before becoming a translator for advertising companies in Seoul and let me tell you… you’re going to change that tone when you see him.”

“See who?” Someone suddenly piped, making Yoongi flinch and turn his head.

He turned around and there he was. The small, fair, funny, sweet, dancing angel. His lips were full and plush, his nose small and slightly flat, but still buttoned enough to frame his face, his eyes shined a warm, chocolate brown, and his hair was a charcoal black. His skin almost glowed and not a single imperfection was insight. Yoongi suddenly felt very insecure. He was hyperaware of the coffee stains on his pants and the fact that he was wearing a five-year-old thrift store shirt with small holes in certain spots, while Jimin was dressed to the nines in the most casual way possible, black jeans, a black button-up, and some worn black dress shoes.

“Oh!” He exclaimed, and Yoongi melted at the sound of his voice, “Pardon me. I’m Jimin Park. You must be Yoongi. Hoseok has told me so much about you.”

Yoongi almost laughed out loud at the awful accent Jimin had when he spoke French, but simply smiled and shook his hand.

“I speak Korean. Don’t worry, it takes a lot more than going out for a smoke break to get me worked up.”

He was shocked, the words falling from his lips completely backtracking from what he has just told Hoseok.Yoongi could only imagine the shit-eating grin on their face right now. I told you so. Yes, yes you did, he thought.

Jimin sighed and returned the smile, “You know, those two kept trying to tell me that you were cute, but they didn’t do the best job at explaining just how cute you actually, are.”

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mskinkyafro · 6 years ago

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Blurred Lines (Ethan x MC)

A/N: This is my take on Miami with our man. From Ethan’s perspective and there’s a few references from my previous fics but its not necessary to read those before this. I was originally wanting to post this before the chapter aired but life happened and a week later here it is. I took some dialogue from the chapter and placed it in here but not much. This also uses Ella Mai’s close near the end. I wasn’t originally gonna use a song in this but the story kept shifting but it’s a great song that reminds me of these two. But overall I hope you all enjoy my version of Ch. 10. This fic grew way longer than originally thought but oh well lol.

Summary: Dr. Ramsey and Dr. Michaels start to crossover into new territory during the Miami conference.

All Rights to PB and Ella Mai for her song “Close”

Sidenote: Song Lyrics are italicized

Word Count: 3,996 words.

Tagged: @sharrybh20 @ifyouseekheart @perriewinklenerdie @radlovedreamer @siegrrun @flyawayboo @gabbisaur

Sorry if I forgot anyone else, but iIf anyone else wants to be tagged just let me know!

Ethan Ramsey stood in a secluded corner of the atrium as he watched the interns scrambled to the leaderboards. He’d learn his lesson over the last few weeks of attempting to post the rankings in their sights. The amount of times he was almost ran over or harassed by the young doctors was wearing down his already thin patience. This time he decided to post it earlier to avoid the savages.

Usually he would carry on with his patients after each week’s posting or spend some time checking on his mentor and looking over his case, but on this occasion he couldn’t help but stay just to catch a glimpse of Katrina when she looks at the ranks. Out of the sea of interns he could make out a young doctor flinging her arms around Katrina in excitement and hear brief exclaims of congratulations. He notices the young African-American woman taken aback by the news but quickly a fierce look of pride washes over her as she talks amongst the few lingering colleagues who wish to extend kind pleasantries.

He smiles to himself as he watches Katrina’s grin. Despite growing closer the last few weeks Ethan was unsure how he felt about Dr. Michaels. It was clear to himself he trusted, admired, and respected her even though more times than others she’s a pain in his ass. And on the other hand, residing deep inside was his raw attraction for the young resident. He catches himself staring at her when she’s unaware or if talking to her how his eyes tend drift to her round, pouty lips. Ever since his daydream about Dr. Michaels, to their conversation in his home, and the last weeks of closely working together on his secret case he’s noticed there’s a difference.

Ethan would never willingly admit to himself that he may have became enamored with the young doctor. No, he keeps those dangerous thoughts regarding Katrina in the forgotten depths of his mind. He has far to many other important things to focus on. He soon notices that he’s no longer alone in his little corner. A familiar perfumed scent hits his nose and without turning he addresses the figure.

“Chief Emery, what can I do for you?”

“Now Ethan, must you always be so formal. ”

Ethan rolls his eyes and turns to face Chief Emery. He can tell by the way she said his name she wanted something. Before, he always folded but as of late her attempts of being his emotional puppeteer has had no effects.

“I’m afraid I’m not in the mood Harper nor do I have the time so let’s keep this short, yes?”

She’s momentarily taken aback but brushes off her initial surprise.

“Yes, you definitely seemed...” Her eyes move to land on Katrina.

“...preoccupied at the moment.

Ethan follows her gaze and his eyebrows furrowed as he sees where it lands, annoyed at the subtle insinuations.

“Ahem, what exactly did you need?”

She turns back to look at Ethan and hands him papers and continues to speak as he looks over what she’s handed him.

“This actually. You’re going to Florida. Well, Miami specifically and accompanied by Dr. Michaels to a medical conference. You both will be surrounded by other accomplished doctors from the best hospitals all over the country, so make sure to mingle and represent Edenbrook well.”

She turns to walk away from him but he cuts her path off.

“Wait, why must I go and bring along an intern for that matter. Isn’t the schmoozing apart of your job description?”

“Actual my job description is to assign who I want to schmooze, if not myself. Second, as a way to mix things up in the competition I decided to throw in an exclusive reward. Thus, attending a prestigious medical conference with the accomplished Dr. Ethan Ramsey.”

“You enjoy torturing me, don’t you Harper?”

“No, no of course not.”

Ethan takes a step back as he realizes Harper attempting to cup his cheek. Her hand falls back to her side.

“But at least your company is someone you’ve taken a ...liking too, from my understanding.” her tone was polite but Ethan noticed a small hint of hidden meaning in between her words and an unfamiliar glint in her eyes.

“Now Harper, I-”

Ethan was interrupted by the buzzing of Harper’s pager.

“Duty calls. Dr. Ramsey, this is final.”

She walks away without another word down the west corridor. Ethan shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. Unable to argue anymore he makes his way to the center of the atrium towards Dr. Michaels who’s still surrounded by her roommates and a few straggling interns.

“Rookie. I see you saw the news.”

He sees her turn toward him as a hush fell amongst the other young doctors as he finds himself standing a few spaces of chest to chest with Dr. Michaels.

“Yes I did Dr. Ramsey. Are you here to congratulate me?”

“For not killing your patients? No.”

He noticed a flicker of sadness in her eyes and the way her smile fell. He mentally kicks himself.

“However…”

Katrina eyes grow more hopeful.

“...you’ve yet to let me down, Rookie.” he let his eyes soften as he finished speaking. Ethan felt his heart skip a beat as Katrina’s annoying yet radiant smile grew wide.

“And I don’t plan to anytime soon, sir.”

“Good.”

The two sat in a comfortable silence for a few seconds before a cough from others interrupted the moment.

“Ahem, anyway Rookie. Pack your bags tonight. You’re accompanying me to Florida this weekend for a conference as reward for ranking first this week.”

“What?! Really?!” she said in disbelief.

Ethan ignores the many audible gasps, groans of disappointment, and bitter mumbles.

“I’m not repeating myself, Rookie. Send me your address so I can pick you up, our flight leaves at 7:00 am tomorrow morning.”

And with that Ethan walked away and head towards his office.

Time seemed to fly for the next morning arrived and Ethan found himself immensely irritated. He rubs his face in exhaustion and frustration. He hopes that their flight would end soon because he was unsure how much longer he could take before he might lose it. First, the flight was delayed by two hours, then he realized the tickets were economy not first class, so himself and Dr. Michaels were huddled with the other passengers like cattle, and thirdly a infant seems to have been crying non-stop since the departure.

He knows how little of an impatient man he is so at the moment all he could do was suffer in his seat and try not to succumb to his building temper as his companion managed to sleep during the entire trainwreck of a flight. As he was steaming in his seat he felt a pressure land on his shoulder. He turned and looking down on his right shoulder he saw a messy clump of afro hair and soft snoring from Katrina. Seeing Dr. Michaels sleep so soundlessly and how peaceful her features were made most of his bitterness melt at the sight. He didn’t know why but just one look at her and he felt calm. Just for a minute he thought maybe this flight isn’t all bad.

Soon enough the overhead speakers came alive to alert the passengers that in a few minutes they will arrive at their destination soon. The sound of the seat belt sign chiming cause Katrina stir from her slumber and she slowly open her eyes as she adjusted to her surrounding. Her eyes land on Ethan and she immediately bolts upright, bumping her elbow in her neighbor who shoots Katrina a nasty glare.

“Sorry sir.”

The man beside her let out a grunt and continued to read his newspaper. Concern at the lack of warmth from his shoulder and for the way Katrina woke up he gently laid his hand on her shoulder.

“Everything okay Rookie?”

“Oh, umm yes Dr. Ramsey. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was-”

“Relax Dr. Michaels. I’ve had worse things happen to me on economy flight. Being your pillow is not one of them.”

She smirks towards him.

“Is that so? So you’re saying I can specifically request you as my pillow?”

“No.”

“Hmm. I don’t believe you.”

“Do I look like the type to lie.”

“Of course not sir but I feel like you’ll give in.”

“And what makes you think that I’ll cater to your wishes, Dr. Michaels?”

She lifts a perfectly shaped eyebrow at Ethan as a smirk that rivals the cheshire cat graced her face.

“I can be very persuasive.” Ethan feels goosebumps form as he feels the ghostly trace of her fingertips brush his hand reaching to the seat pocket in front of her. In his head he’s trying to decipher if that was a coincidence or something orchestrated by the young doctor.

Reeling from the simplest of touch, Ethan stayed quiet for the moment before he readied himself with a retort but interrupted by the woman beside him.

“Wouldn’t you agree?”

He couldn’t help but smile at her and shake his head.

“I agree that your growing ego is unbecoming, Rookie.”

She giggles at him and then turns to look out the window hoping to not disturb the man beside her while Ethan kept his gaze fixed on her. Trying to process how he’ll survive this weekend.

A hour passes after landing in Miami and Ethan and Katrina arrive at the hotel and make their way to the front desk.

“Yes how may I help you?”

“We have a reservation for two double rooms under Ramsey.”

“Alrighty let’s take a look.”

The woman behind the desk types on her keyboard before her face scrunches up.

“I’m sorry sir, but it seems there was a mix up and all the double rooms are booked for the weekend.”

Ethan pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration and lets out a gruff sigh a Katrina tries to reason with the concierge.

“I’m sorry but that’s unacceptable. What other rooms are available?”

“Well ma’am, once more I’m terribly sorry for the mix up. We have one room available, the honeymoon suite, which we’re willing to give to you and your husband for free as condolences for the booking conflict.”

Ethan looked up from his previous position and noticed the faint blush that graced Dr. Michaels face at the woman’s assumption. He saw Katrina about to correct the employee but his mouth spoke without warning.

“We’ll accept it, Thank you.” he nods curtly as he collects the key cards and heads to the elevator, leaving behind a stunned Katrina.

She manages to catch up to his long strides as he enters the elevator and presses the bottom to the penthouse level. The door closes and there’s a small silence between the two. Ethan can tell she’s dying to question him so he speaks first.

“You’re allowed to talk, rookie.”

“Umm are you sure you’re comfortable with sharing a room, Dr. Ramsey?”

“They are no other rooms and we’re probably unable to get double rooms at any other hotel in the ten mile radius, I gathered we might as well enjoy an unexpected upgrade even if it’s due to moronic behavior.”

The elevator halts and the doors open and Ethan steps out and strides down the long hallway followed by Katrina and arriving in front of the last door of the corridor.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

He opens the door and holds it open for her to enter.

“Are you uncomfortable sharing close quarters?”

Katrina enters and was about to respond but was distracted by the glamour of the suite. He follows behind her and watches as her eyes lit up with astonishment at the room. Ethan’s relieved that she’s preoccupied by their room to question him any further. His rational, safe-playing side is chastising him for accepting this arrangement but his other side took the lead at that moment. He didn't have a true reason for saying yes other than wanting another occasion to be close to Dr. Michaels

“Okay, one. This room is gorgeous. I mean, this view of the beach is breathtaking! Two, I may be distracted currently but that doesn’t mean I didn’t noticed that you answered my question with a question.”

Katrina done inspecting the suite moves to gently set her suitcase down as Ethan stands a few feet beside her placing his own down.

“If I didn’t know any better rookie, I’d say you’re scared to be alone with me.”

Ethan can feel Katrina’s hot gaze look him up and down and hear her sly grin as she spoke.

“Oh, I’m not the one that should be afraid.”

He feels a flush grow in his neck at her words.

“And I noticed you didn’t correct the concierge when she assumed we were husband and wife.”

“People are always going to assume. Why waste my breath to change what they others think?”

He hopes she doesn’t see through his thin excuse.

“Wise words Dr. Ramsey. So what’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?” she smiles as sits on the edge of the king size bed.”

Ethan pulls out a folder filled with documents from his bag and sits at on the loveseat in the room and places it on the coffee table in front of him.

“The conference doesn’t start til tomorrow so for the rest of the day-

“I can soak up some Miami sun!” Katrina interrupts.

“Yes, I suppose so while I stay in to look over some files.

“Dr. Ramsey you’re going to work when…” Katrina hops off the bed and saunters to the glass door of the balcony and gestures to the scenic view of the beach below them.

“...this is out our window.”

He moves to take out his glasses from his pocket and places over his eyes and doesn’t bother glancing out the balcony.

“My job never ceases, Katrina.”

Ethan begins to read the documents when the papers are pushed away from. He looks up at Katrina with an annoyed expression on his face.

“You work so hard as it is back home. You need to relax, Dr. Ramsey. Come along with me. I promise I’m loads of fun.” She said as she threw him a wink.

Ethan reaches to center his work in front of him once more.

“Tempting, but I have to decline.”

“Suit yourself.”

Katrina turns away from him to dig into her suitcase and grabs a few items before she heads to the bathroom

Ethan soon becomes engross for a few minutes and doesn’t tear his attention away even as the door of the bathroom opens and Katrina’s light footsteps approach.

“So is their a curfew I should be aware of?”

“Well-” Ethan’s words die at his lips as he looks away from his work and takes in the sight before him. Katrina stands in front of him wearing a scandalous yellow triangle bikini that makes her coffee-hue skin glisten and shows off curvy figure. The revealing fabric hugged in all the right places, her thick hips, thighs, and shows off her double D sized breasts. He realizes he’s been staring for too long and finally speaks, his voice slightly cracked.

“Ahem, urm...you’re not confined to a time frame but keep in mind we have a long and early day ahead of us so I advise not too late.”

“Gotcha.” she turns to a nearby chair and slips on her see-through yellow wrap skirt. She walks over to the body length mirror to check herself out and fluffs out her frizzy fro and heads to exit the room. She pauses and calls out to him over her shoulder

“You sure don’t want to tag along, Dr. Ramsey?” she asks one more time. Ethan can tell her tone is innocent enough but in her hazel eyes he sees hope and a tiny bit of mischief in. He tries to focus on her face and not her perfectly round ass that’s barely covered in the cloth she calls a swimsuit.

“Well, we are in Miami. I suppose these documents can wait” he flashes a rare smile.

“That’s more like it sir!”

“Please Katrina, Ethan outside of work?

“Sorry Ethan.”

He smiles small and heads to his bag then the bathroom to change. He steps out in just his swim trunks and slips on some sandals. He notices Katrina’s eyes roam his bare chest before landing back to his eyes. He smirks at her and then walks to open the door to start their afternoon.

They spent the rest of the day and early evening basking the Miami sun. Walking on the shore, smiling and laughing discussing their lives before Edenbrook. Soon night fell and they found themselves back at the hotel outside bar nursing several scotches on rocks, sitting elbow length from another.

“So that’s really all there is to know about me. I switched from the west coast to the east coast. I haven’t visited in a while but I have an older brother and niece who live in LA. It’s difficult to visit sometimes because he’s a busy detective and my niece Chelsea is heavily involve in school especially now she’s entering her senior year.”

Katrina says as she sips from her drink.

“Do you miss it?” He asks.

“Sometimes. I miss craziness of LA or just driving to the beach and surfing in the hot summer days. But being here at Edenbrook, I have a new love, helping my patients.”

Ethan couldn’t help but stare as she said this. It was rare to find another doctor who truly wanted make a difference. More and more he got to know Katrina he couldn’t help but fall more.

He nods and finishes his drink. As he sets his glass down music begins to play and the other people outside begin to grab their partners and dance. He sees Katrina’s face light up in recognition and downs the rest of her drink and excitedly hops of her stool and fumbles slightly. From the alcohol or just the sudden movement, Ethan was unsure but had inkling it was both.

“I love this song! Ethan, dance with me.”

He looks around nervously. Looking for any doctors that could be in range.

“I don’t think so. I’m not one for dancing.”

A pouty look forms on Katrina’s face and in that moment Ethan just wanted to kiss her then and there.

“Please, for me.” She reaches to pull him off his seat.

He decide to throw caution in the wind and followed Katrina to the makeshift dance floor.

They find themselves in the center surrounded by other couples dancing to the sensual music. Katrina wraps her arms around his neck and presses herself closely to Ethan’s body. He places his hands on her hips and his eyes bore to hers as the sway to the music. He feels intoxicated by her citrus perfume.

I don't even really care who knows it

Just keep me there, keep me in the moment

Seen a lot of things, but I never seen my spirit glowin'

The way you do me got me outta body

Cause you the only out of everybody

Who gon' go out of the way to show me all the ways

Come control the flame

I just wanna stay right here with you

Katrina then turns so her ass is pressed against Ethan’s groin and grabs his arms so that they wrap around her as they continue to sway to the music. Ethan groans quietly to himself and tries hard not to become too excited. Being so close to her felt so good but he can’t help but question this. He knows he’s a little tipsy and he’s sure she is after the amount of rounds they had.

“Katrina…”

“Kat. Call me Kat.”

Ethan moves on of his hands to trail up her arm to her neck and push some of her fro out the way and his hot breath lingers on her neck as he whispers in her ear

“What are you doing to me.”

Let the water flow

Just let it fall out from my face

Cause I never thought I'd ever hear me say

I just can't breathe without my baby

Ooh, you my baby

Ethan can feel her shiver at his words and she turns back around and place her hands over his exposed chest. Her fingers tracing his skin. She stands on her tip toes and leans up as her hands bring his face closer to hers and whispers

“Only whatever it is you do to me.”

So come and kiss up on me

As we dance close

Come and kiss up on me slow

Ethan tightens his hold on Kat and stops their movements all the while others around them keep dancing.

“Kat.” His hand tangles in her hair and his eyes roam her face and he sees desire and longing.

“Ethan.”

Ethan closes his eyes as he feels her plump lips graze over his. He moves his mouth to respond briefly as he savors the moment but the fading sound of the music sobers him up and reminds him on where he is.

He reluctantly untangles himself from Katrina and holds her hands.

“Kat...Katrina. We can’t do this.”

She looks up at him, her eyes filled with confusion.

“Why? Do you not feel…”

“No of course not. I want this so bad, but not enough to jeopardize your career and reputation. ”

“No one has to know. It’ll be our secret.”

“We’d know. Plus I can’t push you to be the best doctor you can be if I…”

He pauses and lets go of her hands and adds space between themselves.

“If you…”

He shakes his head at her.

“Let’s call it a night. We’re both tipsy and have an early morning.”

He stalks toward their room feeling he disappointed gaze on him. They make it back to their suite and both quickly change into night clothes, Ethan in his pajama pants and no shirt and Katrina pops out of the bathroom in an over-sized T-shirt that covers her torso but shows off her legs and her hair wrapped in her silk bonnet. Even in the simplest clothing he finds her so beautiful and he’s kicking himself for cutting off what could’ve happen but he reminds himself its for the best. He speaks first.

“I can take the couch and you can have the bed, Rookie.”

“Ethan, we’re both adults we can share a bed. I promise no funny business.”

“Rookie…”

Katrina cuts him off

“No. Right now I’m Kat and your Ethan. No Rookie, no Dr. anything. We have all day tomorrow for that. Let’s give ourselves this moment right now before going back to reality. Please, Ethan.”

He sighs and gets inside the left side of the bed and gestures for Katrina to get in as well. She turns off the lights and gets in on the right side. They lay down facing each other, eye to eye. Their breathing grows soft and faint. Katrina closes her eyes first and flips so her back faces Ethan.

“Good night, Ethan.” She whispers.

He’s still facing her and longs to hold her but ultimately shuts his eyes.

“Goodnight Kat.”

It’s quiet for a few minutes when he feels rustling in the bed and warmth closer to him. He opens his eyes and notices Kat moved in her sleep. He would scoot over more but he’d be in the edge of the bed and he didn’t want to risk waking her up to move her over so he just pressed closer toward her and wrapped his arm around her waist and lay his face near the crook of her neck. He knew he was well over the boundaries he attempting to draw but Ethan decided give not only himself but both of them this moment.

#choices fanfiction #choices stories you play #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC #dr ethan ramsey #open heart choices

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benjaminjofaiho · 5 years ago

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The Captain Next Door Ch.3

Summary: You’re a doctor who also just so happens to be a fan fiction writer. You love lots of fandoms but Captain America is by far your fave, so what happens when you get a new job, move to Brooklyn and realize that the brownstone you bought is right next door to Captain America? Obviously shenanigans ensue.

Warnings: Swearing. Light Mentions of NSFW material.

AN: I’m sorry for the super late update. I am actually in London right now for vacation so I thought it would only be right for me to post an update. Hopefully this will be the last time I have to take a hiatus like this. Thank you for all your reblogs, comments and likes. Your feedback is always welcome and I love hearing from y’all. It’s worth noting that I do not care for or abide by the timeline, there are some people mentioned that haven’t technically been brought together yet [ As per Winter Soldier ] but I did it anyway. P.S. I do not currently have a beta and the ‘f’ and ‘u’ keys on my keyboard are messed up so incase you see repeating letters anywhere they aren’t supposed to be feel free to let me know.

“It’s my genuine pleasure to be here Y/N, and please, Steven is far too formal, ma’am. Steve is just fine. Thank you for your befriending Sam-” Steve started.

“Samuel! Samuel, yes, Sam, Samuel. Samuel Wilson. Wilson comma Samuel on government documents right Samuel?” You looked at him like a fire that needed to be put out. Grabbing the bottle from Captain America who was, literally standing in your foyer looking like all of the things that your fanfiction fantasies could hope for. However there was a look of something on his face. It was an emotion you couldn’t place. He looked down and rubbed his strong arms over his neck and your eyes jumped to his biceps.

“Please,” you said out of breath, and gesturing to your living room “make yourself at home, I just need Samuel’s help in my office with that thing I told you about earlier. Remember Samuel?” Grabbing his collar like a drowning child. Steve quirked a brow.

Laughing and prying your fingers from his shirt “Aww come on Doc we’re back at Samuel? I thought we were friends Y/N-”

“Samuel PLEASE” you screeched wringing your hands around the wine bottle.

“Alright, alright fineeee I’m coming Doc” He rolls his eyes and juts his thumb out while sticking out his thumb at you and Steve laughs a little. You both start up the stairs and to the left into your office. Closing the door and turning swiftly and taking in a sharp breath you prepare to give Sam the haranguing of his life.

“Samuel Wilson! If that even is your name!” You accused, pushing his chest “How could you not tell me?! You know I’m basically in love with him right? Why did you not tell me you were roommates with Captain Fucking America?”

“Listen Doc, I’m going to be honest with you. Getting to know you these past few weeks, we have our fun but I’ve never seen you flustered… and I’m a little bit of a prankster. Plus the added bonus that whenever you talk about how great the Avengers are you always focus on Cap really made me want to be able to have a front seat to this reveal without you being able to prepare yourself and be composed. ”

Unable to help it your shoulders start to shake lightly and then uncontrollably and before you knew it you were open mouth laughing. “Ok, ok. You got me but I just want you to know that you’ve started a prank war. You brought this upon yourself, Samuel! And you owe me! You have to be super nice to me for the foreseeable future because that was just cruel and unusual punishment.”

“Still with the Samuel?!” He laughed along with you “C’mon, Doc!”

“Fine, Sam. Let’s go down stairs, I think we’ve kept him waiting long enough.”

====================Steve’s POV=======================

Stepping out of the shower Steve was happy to be back in his own home after another strenuous mission. He was supposed to be on vacation. Matter of fact, Falcon was the one that was meant to be handling things for about 3 weeks but hey, when the your country needs you, and Nick Fury personally calls for you, what are you going to say, no?

Usually when he comes back home from a long mission he goes to Sylvia’s in Harlem and picks up a plate and continues to make it through his to-do list. Next on the list was season 2 of Friends, which from his googles he learnt was maybe a rip off of a show called Living Single? Never the less it was added to his watchlist. He was unusually happy though because his roommate Sam told him all about their new neighbor who apparently was very blessed when it came to throwing down in the kitchen. Speaking of his loud roommate he heard him shouting over the Troubleman soundtrack that he didn’t want his food to get cold. Pulling on a plain white shirt and some khakis he put on some sneakers he jogged down the steps he quickly got a bottle of wine out of the fridge and followed Sam out of the house and locked the door behind him.

Meanwhile Sam was skipping like a child on Christmas. He knew Sam loved his food but he felt as if this excitement was a bit over the top. He’d eaten with her several times. Was the food that wonderful? Why did he look so happy? Standing behind him on her stoop he was getting more and more confused. Raising an eyebrow at Sam who was almost bouncing out of his shoes, Sam turned around and gave him a large gap toothed grin.

“You alright buddy?” He asked gently placing an arm on Sam’s shoulder.

“Yeah, sure man. Just really happy about what’s about to happen” before he could respond, the door swung open and a tantalizing aroma started wafting out as he heard Sam say exactly what he was thinking. The house smelled amazing. Before he knew what was happening he was being asked if he thought you looked nice. He could have sworn that he heard his favorite song, Unforgettable by Nat King Cole playing while she spun in what seemed like slow motion and stopped to look at him. He heard his mouth saying she absolutely did look gorgeous. While they were having whatever exchange they were having the music in his mind was still playing and he couldn't stop looking at her like the magic she was. Slowing drawing his eyes over her umber skin, this dark yellow-brown that looked so warm and inviting. He looked at her eyes like onyx and was getting lost in them in the best way possible. She was tall for a woman, around 5’8 at least, and she was definitely what the internet told him was thiccc. Looking to the top of her head he wanted to run his hands through her hair and then twist it around his hand and pull back and expose her neck and pepper kisses there. His eyes were pulled to her breasts and as he watched them rise and fall he thought about palming them and taking a Hershey’s Kiss into his mouth and all of a sudden his member started to wake after such a hibernation. He had to snap out of it. This was grossly inappropriate, this respectable woman invited him to her home being neighborly and here he is, violating her in his mind. Imagining terrible sinfully delicious things he could do with her, and to her. Imagining pulling her dress up and finding that she forgot to wear panties. He caught her looking at him crazed and to be honest he hadn’t been listening or even hearing anything said between her and Sam. His eyes shot down to the floor and he rubbed the back of his neck. He had to convince himself that she couldn't read minds. Yes he had met some special people with special abilities but he had to just pray to Christ she wasn’t one of them. Feeling guilty he continued looking at his feet. He heard her tell him to sit and she took the bottle of wine from him. Her long beautiful fingers briefly grazed his and he felt as if he was diving into that ice cap all over and there’s the music again! That same song! What the hell was happening? Okay she was beautiful and ethereal and quite frankly looked like a painting that someone slaved over and like she was made out of love and light, but so what? He’d been with other women since Peggy, sure, but none of them made him feel this way. None of them made him hear music for Pete’s sake. While she and Sam went upstairs he was grateful to be able to adjust himself without anyone seeing. He took a seat on her sofa.

Looking around Steve was loving the ambiance. He looked around and then stood up to get a closer look of everything. Laughing to himself he saw the record player propped open and spinning with Nat King Cole’s smile looking up at him. At least he wasn’t completely crazy. Okay, well maybe he had to get laid? It had been a while admittedly. He let out a stressed sigh and continued to look around. He saw pictures leaning up against the wall in frames and the nosier part of him got the best of him and he started thumbing through them. He saw little girls and a teenage boy, assumedly her family. Her parents and then her. There was one of her smiling with her white coat and remembered that Sam does call her the Doc. Thinking of Sam he turned wondering what was keeping them, listening keenly he heard hearty laughter. Sam came down first and held a hand out to help her down the stairs. She clutched her imaginary pearls and in an exaggerated Southern Belle accent said

“Oh my, thank you kindly sir! You’re just too sweet! ”

“Of course darlin’! Anything for you!” Sam said in a likened manner. “ Plus you know our agreement and all. I’m yours until you say so”.

He caught her wink at him. What was she winking for? Why was Sam hers? He just met her for crying out loud how close could they possibly be? In an instant he felt something in the pit of his stomach. What was that? It felt heavy and uncomfortable. He actually shifted in his seat thinking his stomach started acting up when he was about to have the meal of his life. More importantly he wanted to know what the hell was going on with Sam and Y/N. All he knew was Sam needed to back the hell up. Why was he getting so angry? Why was he feeling so…so…- that train of thought was cut off immediately when he saw her smiling and her lips moving with no sound coming out. It was as if a shining light was upon him and in an instant he felt better. Like any issue he had could be solved. What was this?

“Captain” She said in a voice as smooth as silk “Are you ready?”

He wasn’t sure what she was asking about but he knew right then he would do whatever and go wherever she wanted. He would follow her to the ends of the earth if she smiled at him like that.

“Yes ma’am. And please it’s Steve!” He said giving her a patented Captain America smile.

“Well if I have to call you Steve you have to call me Y/N. Dinner’s ready and the table is set. Are you ready?” She repeated.

“After you” He said with an out stretched arm.

Seated at the table he was admiring her while she whizzed around the kitchen. He didn't know how long he was staring at her before he heard Sam clearing his throat. Turing his attention back to his roommate he caught him with a mischievous smile on his face.

“What is it?” He inquired

“Nothing man, just looking at that stupid grin on your face every time you look at the Doc. You like what you see?”

“Sam, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Mmhmm, yeah, sure, whatever you say Cap”

“I hope you guys brought your extra loose pants because there’s a lot of food here!”

Turning his head to the sound of her voice he found himself getting up.

“Can I help you with anything ma’- I mean Y/N.” He corrected

“That's so sweet of you Steve.” She said passing him a big plate of fried chicken in one and a bowl of mashed potatoes in the other. “Sam why don’t you come get some plates as well?”

“I think the Cap’s got it”

“It’s no problem, helping out is the least I can do.” They said in unison. She laughed at their harmony and agreed. After a 2 more trips to the kitchen the table was set and they were all seated around it.

“Everything looks delicious Y/N, I can’t wait to try it” He said.

“I’m more than happy to oblige. You both were so helpful the first day we met, Sam has been really handy around the house as well. It's the least I could do, plus he told me that you loved soul food. Although he didn’t tell me you were Captain America, it was a little bit of a surprise. Kept that little bit of information for himself.”

He looked at her tentatively “I hope it was a good one, hope you’re not disappointed”

“Absolutely not” She rushed out. A silence fell in the room and he was getting lost in her again.

“Well!” Sam’s voice irrupted, shattering the moment “Now that the cat is out of the bag, lets dig in!” He snapped out of whatever daze he was in and for the next hour they ate and laughed. He had his fill of the most amazing fried chicken that was just spicy enough, corn bread, mac and cheese, greens, black eyed peas and things he’d never even tried before. He looked at her and realized he hadn’t stopped laughing all evening. She was a fantastic host, just as he’d thought.

“The chicken is amazing Y/N”

“Thank you! You don’t think it’s too spicy? She asked.

“Not at all” He started “ I actually added a little bit of Frank’s hot sauce on it”

“Don’t listen to that mad man” Sam said “Mr. Boner was right, the chicken is hot.”

“Mr. Boner…?” Steve said confused.

She laughed“ Sam means Dr. Boner, the bone man. He’s just my work husband and lowkey a little bit of my husband, husband. We were friends back in med school and now we work together. He was the one that recommended me for the job. And I’m sure as you remember from the first day we met, I can do most things by myself, however when I really do need help and I’m completely out of my depth I call him.” For some reason Steve started to feel that thing he felt when he was watching Sam help Y/N down the stairs. “Wow,” he breathed “So you both must be close”

“Yeah what can I say? He’s…peculiar but he’s always there when I need him. He’s one of the people I think I depend on second to my family. In fact I would love for you all to meet officially one day.”

“Officially?” Steve inquired.

“Yeah Sam here has spoken to him a couple times on Facetime and they make fun of me and Boner tries to tell him some embarrassing school stories.-“

“Yeah! The Doc here is trying to keep this calm and collected façade up and I would like to know what she was like before she turned into this statue of constant perfection” Sam said rolling his eyes.

She kissed her teeth “Boy please, I’ve been perfect from the day I came out the womb!”

A comfortable silence fell over them and Steve imagined to himself that there probably wasn’t a time she wasn’t perfect,

“I hope y’all have space for desert! I’m keeping it real simple with apple pie, homemade vanilla bean ice cream sprinkled with pralines.” She started to push her chair backward from the table but Sam told her he would do get it. Did he really know her home thatwell? After a little back and forth and a lot of convincing she decided to stay. It was only the two of them at the table and then she turned her full attention to him.

“So Steve, tell me about yourself.”

======================Your POV=======================

Try and act normal Y/N , please Y/N, please please, please I am begging you just be normal for once in your life. Try to act like you didn’t fall asleep after rubbing one out to this man last night. Think of anything. ANYTHING else. Anything but how you want to be devoured by him and how you want to eat him up too.

“So Steve, tell me about yourself” Nice one Y/N! Way to fucking go! tElL mE aBoUt yOuRsElF. What the hell is this? 60 minutes?

“That’s a really broad question…” He started. Of course it is! Here I fucking go trying to be all Fox and Friends, meanwhile there is a whole ass museum about ‘himself’ that I now have to act like I’ve never been to.

“That's fair” you said, trying to save face “How about what do you like to do when you aren’t wearing the stars and stripes?”

“Hmm. I enjoy the internet as whole. So much helpful information on there. I like that when I become a fan of something in real life I can meet people who also love said thing and they can give me more information about it and even new recommendations. I enjoy painting. I consider myself a little bit of a foodie. I like going to movies that are barely full so I can get that theater experience without so many people around. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head.”

“What forums are you a part of? What do you like to paint? Are you into realism or do you kind of just do your own thing? I love making food and eating it even more. I do that theater thing too! I want to be able to cry without anyone seeing my ugly crying face.”

“I highly doubt anyone would ever consider you ugly”

You looked down quickly thanking God for the melanin because chile, the blush. He probably is this nice to everyone he meets. He is, after all, THE Captain America.

“I kind of just like random stuff,” he continued “probably nothing you’ve ever heard about. And as for my paintings I also just do whatever comes to mind. And drawing and painting things that are fandom relevant.”

“Fandom?” You said with the quirk of a brow “You sound like someone from Tumblr. Now I’m really curious. What do you get into online Captain Rogers?” You noticed a redness creeping up on his face. Hopefully you hadn’t upset him by getting too flirty. He was from the old school after-all. Before you could put your foot in your mouth any further, Sam came out with the desert.

“Now listen here!” Sam boomed “ I had to take just a sliver of this here pie to make sure it was good. In our line of work we have lots of enemies. One can never be too careful. I did this for the greater good. I did this for my country! That being said I don’t want to hear anything about this further! We’ve spoken about the missing piece long enough!”

After a brief second passing between you all, laughter broke out and you told Sam to sit his ass down. You got up and served Sam first, since he did ‘work so hard to insure the pie was good’. Next you turned to Steve and served his up. You served yourself a plate last and sat down to wait for the verdict. You heard a deep moan coming from the Cap and turned to see him with his eyes closed. That moan was definitely going to be thought about later.

“You like?” you asked. The only response you got was a slowly nodding captain savoring your food. You were on cloud nine at this point. He opened his eyes and looked at you. You started on your pie as well. The night continued and you brewed some coffee for the gents and a nice cup of honey ginger tea for yourself. You all eventually moved to the living room and were all laughing like old friends. It was as if even though you just met you had some type of rhythm going. A push and pull of sorts.

“Well” Sam slapped his hands to his knees standing up “Thank you so much for dinner Doc”

“It was great to have you as always Sam,” turning to Steve “ And it was an absolute pleasure to meet you. I hope to get to find out eventually what exactly you’re into Captain Rogers.” There goes that redness again. You had to get this shit under control and stop making him so uncomfortable in your home.

“Trust me Y/N, the pleasure was mine.”

“I hope we can do this again sometime soon”

Shutting the door behind them you leaned up against it and let out a squeal. You couldn't believe it you actually had the Captain America over at your house. For the last few hours you wined and dined him. Now all that was left was to 69 him. You laughed at your immaturity and went to clean up the kitchen.

The next day you went into the hospital. You had unofficially started and not everyone knew you yet. The guy that had your old position’s name was still on the door. You walked into your office and greeted your assistant, Sonia. She was from the UK and had everything and everyone in the hospital on lock. She knew everything about everything, how to get what you needed, and if she couldn’t get it herself she always ‘knew a guy’ who could. Usually you had a rule about not mixing business with pleasure, but for her you were thinking about making an exception.

“Good morning Dr. Y/L/N. How was your weekend? She said in her beautiful voice.

“Nothing much, just had some friends over for dinner”

“And I didn’t get an invite?” making the cutest pouty face, you had to laugh.

“Damn” You said with a contemplating look on your face, raising a Tupperware with her name on it “Now what am I gonna do with this? I mean I thought I was going to bring this to my wonderful super ADULT assistant but all I see is a little baby. Little baby? Do you know where my assistant is?”

Straightening her back and stretching out her arms with grabbing motions “ Gimmie, gimmie! I’m a big girl!”

Laughing even more you hand her the Tupperware. You lean on her desk and prepare to ask for your messages when a man walks in.

“Sonia, my darling, do I have any messages?”

“I didn’t know you were his assistant Sonia” You said turning to her.

“I’m not” she remarked making a biting motion at the gentleman. Completely ignoring you he rolls his neck.

“Christ. I had to cut my vacation short. I heard the new boss has started up. He wasn’t even supposed to start for another 2 weeks. Since I got passed over for the whole promotion to head of Cardio at least I could make a good impression with the guy and be a sturdy number two. I’ve heard his work is flawless and I’ve heard he’s developed his own technique for plaque removal and I want a front row fucking seat. What’s his name again? Dr. Y/L/N? From the what I hear we have a new cardio god in our midst. It’s about time. I really needed that deep tissue massage too. I hope he notices my efforts, fuck.” You scoff and he rolls his eyes over to the schedule wall as he squints. “There’s an angioplasty scheduled? I need to be in on that. Sonia, babe, you have to get me into that.”

With your chin in your arm casually leaning on the desk and looking out the window you remarked “ I don’t think you’ll be able to Dr. Daniels. Seems like you’ve had your own procedure scheduled for the same time.” He finally turns to face you, while you continue to look out the window at the Manhattan skyline.

“How’d you know my name?” he asks abruptly. You lazily turn to him and tap a finger to his badge. “Right you are…ma’am. Well I can understand that this is a little complicated for you. medical schedules were difficult for me to read when I first started working here–”

“Dr. Daniels” Sonia tried to interrupt. He put his hand up to silence her.

“As I was saying I understand how complicated medical jargon can be for...” How did he manage to look like he was undressing you yet belittling and patronizing you at the same time? “someone like you.”

“Dr. Daniels!” Sonia said a little louder this time.

Cutting a look at her he continued “Even though it seems that I have a scheduled procedure I would like to move it as something more important would be taking place at that time.”

“More important than patient care?” You questioned “Seems like bad doctoring to me.”

“Again ma’am, I am sure this all has gone over your head and I would be happy to get someone to explain this in layman’s terms to you-”

“Gerald!”

“Sonia please! I have been trying to explain to this… woman.” He looked you over again, this time with more annoyance than anything else. Starting to mumble he started “ Honestly these people watch one lifetime special and get a WebMD membership and think they’re doctors now. Honestly I didn’t go to John’s Hopkins to deal with this bullshit.”

“That is no way to talk to a patient” You remark “that how you talk to all your patients?”

“First of all, you aren’t my patient ma’am; I am just trying to be curious to you, and you’re making that pretty difficult by the way. Secondly you come in here acting like you know everything because what? You read my name super fast and can read a procedure board? Thirdly, you’re putting me in a foul mood when I have an important meeting any minute now. Quite frankly I am done with this conversation so good day. He’ll be here any minute” He said straining and looking past you, down the hallway while adjusting his jacket trying to look his best.

“Well then this is as good a time as any I suppose” You reply. Fully turning to face him you badge dangled from your neck. “ I’m ‘Him’. Hello Dr. Gerald Daniels. My name is Dr. Y/F/N Y/L/N. You can just call me Dr. Y/L/N. I’ve heard I am the resident Cardio God.”

He looked as if he was going to shit a ton of bricks. All that could be heard was Sonia snickering and when you turned to look at her she was typing jibberish on a blank word document. You had to laugh at her antics. Flinging your coat onto the couch in her office, you called over your shoulder “Sonia my messages in 5 please. I’d like some tea as well. Surprise me.” You slammed your door closed and sat at your desk. Damn it felt good to be the boss.

The rest of your day went by without a hitch and at 4:55 you heard a knock coming from your door.

“Come in!”

The door opened slowly to reveal a humbled looking Dr. Daniels with a blueberry scone in one hand and a cheesy mug in the other. You didn’t want to laugh but you did. You loved bad jokes.

“Dr. Y/L/N, listen I am so sorry about this morning. I was really amped to meet you and I went about things the wrong way. I would like us to start again… If that’s alright with you. Please don't let my poor behavior taint your opinion of me. I get a little high strung with a mix of competitive and it usually doesn’t manifest in the way it did today and I cannot stress how sorry I am about it-” You put your hand up cutting him off.

“ Look dude. You were totally an asshole and should actually be reporting to HR. I was going to report you myself but I asked around about you and apparently you aren’t usually that way with patients. In fact doctors and patients around seem to love you, I couldn't get one bad thing said about you. So I’m giving you a second chance, because I believe in those. But you’re on probation with ME.”

“Thank you Dr. Y/L/N! This is such a relief for me!”

“But tighten up! I don't want that kind of trash in my halls again, Daniels! I mean it!” Looking at the clock “And after hours it’s just Y/F/N. Are those for me?

“Of course!” Handing you the scone he got a packet of heavy cream and jam and gave that to you as well. “Blueberry tea. I sort of have a thing for blueberries and I grow this myself.”

Nodding you took a sip. It was delightful. It tasted as if you could bottle up the feeling of a country afternoon eating a picnic on some grassy hill with cows roaming over yonder.

“Daniels this is delicious. I’m going to have to get the leaves from you sometime.”

“If I give them to you, could you lift my probation?”

“Don't push it!” Throwing his hands up he made a ‘no offense motion and laughed’ backing out of the office he said he would see you tomorrow.

Officially off the clock you brought out your laptop and logged onto Tumblr. You sent your beta a message.

MSG to Jay: Jaybaby. I know this is coming late. I know, I know. Works got me swamped but on the up and up I’ve come up with some new heat and I’m sure the readers will love it. Here are the next few chapters. Could you get them back to me within the week? Love ya big time. X

You sent that and started with your new fic. This one was about a girl moving next door to captain America and basically falling in love with him. It’s going to be super fluff and light hearted cuteness. There’ll probably be a situation where oh no! they have to sleep in the same bed or some trope shit like that. Before signing off you heard a ping and it was a couple jpegs from Rod. It was a picture of you this time. Well part of you anyway. You had your identity to worry about but your icon was a picture of your eyes and part of your hair behind your glasses. He made the most beautiful rendition of it. He also sent a couple of pictures of T’challa, Aquaman for your amusement. Attached you found a note:

Doc. You were one of the first people to start reblogging my pictures and you were the first person to write a fic based off something out of my imagination. You really gave me great feedback and support and I’ll always be grateful for that. Take care for now and happy writing.

You changed you icon to the one he painted and closed your laptop smiling. You turned off the lights to your office and started on your way home.

Tag list.

@champagnesugamama @smooth-sunflower @queenwinchester27 @hamilboots @trees-are-friends (y’all didn’t ask to be tagged explicitly but I assumed you may want to be, If not let me know and I’ll remove you from the taglist xx)

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fcnna · 5 years ago

Photo

❝ Even if you are a small forest surviving off of moon alone: your light is extraordinary. ❞ MILENA TSCHARNTKE? No, that’s actually FENNA VAN DEN BERG. A SIXTH YEAR student, this HUFFLEPUFF student is sided with THE NEUTRALS. SHE/THEY identifies as GENDERQUEER and is a MUGGLEBORN who is known to be FICKLE, ESCAPIST and DISTANT, but also ARTISTIC, STEADY and INDEPENDENT.

LINKS: stats, pinboard, character tag. CHARACTER PARALLELS: susanna kaysen (girl, interrupted), chidi anagonye (the good place), pam halpert (the office), riley blue (sense8) HELLO gang, so this is a rewrite/repost of my old intro. fenna is now sixteen, not twenty six, and she’s a puff rather than a beauxbatons graduate. some of this will be the same, some will not! yeet!

history

fenna is born to a dutch family in the city of utrecht as the youngest of three. her family is a rich one --- one of the richest, actually. they’re ambitious and cunning and success and reputation are words that fenna is all too familiar with growing up. there is no room for oddities or rebellion or putting a toe out of line and fenna doesn’t mind. they’re good at rules and doing what is expected and falling in line, anyways. it’s safe. it’s easy.

her father has to go abroad for work. a lot. germany, france, belgium, the uk ... he’s more away from home than he’s not. when the company he works for (or, well, partly owns, really) has a great opportunity to become even more global, he drags his family with him to england, where they settle in manchester. it’s an exciting thing, to move across europe when you’re seven, but a sad one, too. fenna says goodbye to all their friends and teachers and weeps in the car and refuses to learn english.

they do learn, eventually. fenna doesn’t have much of a choice, as they attend muggle private school. and once they know their way around the language, they do well in school. unaware of the fact that they’re a wix, there’s a lot of pressure on their shoulders and they work hard, their focus iron-like, their wish to please their parents great. but in moments of stress, their magic shows --- and fenna is scared of it. fenna does not tell their parents, out of fear of disapproval and raised eyebrows, not wanting to admit that this is something real in the first place. in stead, they get the best grades and play the piano and keep their worries locked in their heart. magic isn’t real.

and yet, the truth comes out one day. fenna is a witch, they’re all told, and it’s a shock. they are to go to a school in scotland and study magic there. it’s a shock. it’s like a bomb goes off in their home. but here’s the thing --- their parents didn’t stop loving them. and yet, something did change in the way she was loved, and fenna -- quiet and observant -- noticed it all too well.

because here’s the thing --- when you’re a witch, you can’t go to one of the top universities in the uk and become a doctor or lawyer or politician, you can’t fill the mold that comes with being a van den berg, you can’t, you can’t, you can’t. and that was what life was all about for fenna up until now, and what it is still all about for their family, and suddenly for them, that was over. so things changed. slowly but surely and eventually disastrously ( but we’re not there yet ).

so fenna was off to this boarding school, with their eyes wide open and their heart hammering. from day one, a wedge started growing between them and their family. whether it was disapproval, insecurities or the distance that forced it, no one really knows --- but it was there, from the beginning, and only grew bigger. meanwhile fenna did find themselves at hogwarts, falling in love with magic and the feeling of control they got when spells went right. the pressure was off from her family ---- what did they care if they succeeded in magic? it’d not mean anything in the muggle world. doing well at hogwarts was something fenna did for themselves and yes, that still made them stressed and anxious and the pressure was still there, but it had lessened, changed.

fenna started sending less owls to home. they and their family grew apart more and while that happened, they found something called independence and that it came quite easily to them. fenna learned what living for themselves was. they learned that, damn it, there were no dreams for great successes in law or politics living inside of them. there was a passion for art, though, for all kinds of it. painting especially, was what they fell in love with.

queerphobia tw / after her fifth year, fenna had grown into an independent, but solitary person. their art had become better, their passions grown bigger, their relationship with their parents as fragile as a bomb. fenna spent the summer at home, trying to see what was wrong, what was happening with them and their parents. in the end, they decided that something was just horribly wrong. their parents were no monsters, but they struggled with fenna’s magic, and their wishes to become an artist, with their gender and sexuality, with everything, really. there were fights. there were disagreements. fenna felt terrible, being home, and longed for the end of summer, for a return to hogwarts, for a place to feel at damn home end of tw

it was just hard, with their family. there was never any real confrontational harsh destruction, never a moment of outspoken disapproval or disappointment. everything was kept in the shadows. in their home, there was no room for honesty, and if there was, it was like a bomb exploding, with everything coming out. it was suffocating. fenna couldn’t do it any more.

i do think that this moment during summer break was significant. it was a push for fenna to grow more serious about their passions. they want to go to art school, want to do what they want to do, because they know that they will never be happy doing what their parents want from them. they’re ready for the world, to chase their dreams --- i mean, it’s utterly terrifying, but fenna is finally daring to think about a future in the arts, rather than a future with more stability, one that fit in the image they always had of their own future.

and then they return to hogwarts and the war breaks out. the war is ... well, it’s fucking terrifying, frankly. fenna is no fighter, they know that. they’re no good with dueling or offensive spells. they’re no good in any of this, frankly ---- fenna craves control in everything in their lives and they dont have that with this war, especially as it does target people like them. for now, they are neutral, cowardly hiding in the shadows. they know that there’s things to do, that there should be things she could do, that she should not hide in fear but --- how do you not do that, if that is your instinct?

personality & ramblings

meet fenna --- your local tortured artist! sad pal, with a good heart but a lot of insecurities and doubts clouding it. i’m going to try and just summarise their general personality here!!

fenna is first and foremost independent. they don’t rely on anyone but themselves, and like it that way. they don’t feel independent, they feel absolutely bloody lost, but they are. this partly comes from the fact that they like to feel in control and at this point, they do hold a lot of the reigns when it comes to stuff in her life? they also rly like things that are logical because of this, like maths and arithmancy and potions

fenna is ... both incredibly emotional and completely rigid? in their private time, they cry and rage easily, but to the outside world they’re definitely quite composed and rigid. fenna is good at pretense and masks and not showing all that is going on.

as a friend, they’re nurturing and kind and always down for a spontaneous night of shenanigans. doesn’t like DANGER but does like shenanigans.

idk i can go on for forever theyre such a mess

nsfw / fenna’s genderqueer/femme. they use both she/her and they/them pronouns --- it depends on how they’re feeling, but also who they’re with, tbh. they’re pansexual/panromantic and very easy when it comes to sex. puts the ho in art ho! nah but for real they sleep around and they don’t think much of it at all tbh, sex is fun and it relaxes her and it’s a good time for everyone involved / end

oof such a romantic, deep down. just aesthetic wise for sure, but also ... fenna does love like, jane austen and the bronte sisters and old romance novels and shitty romcoms and ahhhh. does believe in true love but ? have they given it a shot? really? not rly. too afraid of it.

also, def has some stereotypical muggleborn stuff going on. never used quills, thinks the wizarding world is a mess always, etc. they also love muggle culture in general and is addicted to netflix tbh. VERY MAD ABOUT THE PHONE BAN! they miss pinterest and netflix big time.

depression & anxiety tw / fenna is depressed & has general anxiety disorder. both are undiagnosed at the moment, as they don’t really . understand that something might be going on, or rather are in denial about it. i mean, to a certain extent they know that something’s not right, but they don’t want to take any steps to find help, because they downplay it Big Time in their mind. the war is definitely contributing to all this. end of tw.

honestly they just want to move the fuck away from this war, either back to the netherlands. they dont! like! this! war.

i could see them joining the MA, somewhere along the line? but rn fenna just. likes sitting in their corner. escaping from this shitty reality. smoking some pot. painting some shit. ignoring the reality of the world.

ALSO I RLY STRUGGLED W THEIR HOUSE BC LIKE FENNA WOULD DO SO WELL IN RAVENCLAW BUT! I THINK THEY WORK WELL AS A PUFF BC IF YOURE THEIR FRIEND THEY ARE SO LOYAL! AND THEY DONT MIND HARD WORK when its GOOD work and also theyre just. a nice person.

#iidyintro #here to bring you the NEW fenna ig!!#not much has changes theyre just younger

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letspurpletogether · 6 years ago

Text

Death Gods Only Eat Apples || 01

Summary: You are the youngest and best behaviorist at the South Korean National Police Agency, but because of a recent case that earned you your first kill, you are forced to take a leave. However, a streak of recent, inexplicable deaths among Seoul´s worst criminals drags you straight back to the precinct to pursue the culprit to whom the people are referring to as Kira.

Pairings: Jungkook x reader, Seokjin x reader, Namjoon x reader.

Genre: Death Note AU, thriller, mystery, drama, romance, crime, angst.

Word count: 13.9k

Warnings: foul language, just your average crime-police drama, violence, blood, death.

You’ve never killed anyone before.

Right when you pull the trigger, you know it has to be done. You have to take the shot or an innocent woman is going to die. And you just can’t let that happen.

Your eyes find the woman’s as she is being held against her will, an arm around her neck. She screams. Her nails dig into her attacker’s flesh, but they do very little damage. He holds the gun against her head, his eyes red with madness, a vein protruding from his forehead as he warns you not to come any closer. ‘Or I’ll fucking paint this walls with her brains! I swear!’

The woman starts crying. ‘Please…’

But he just tightens his grip on her neck and starts back away towards the emergency exit. Your hands are shaking, you can’t let him get away, not after everything he’d done.

Backup is not here yet.

It’s just you and him.

The woman struggles for air, she bites and scratches him like a caged animal. She manages to draw blood as he reaches for the doorknob. He curses and, for a brief moment, the woman has a chance to escape. She slips from his grip and runs in your direction. Yet, halfway through her knees give in and she stumbles to the floor.

Her disheveled form extends a hand to you. And you notice as the man seems to struggle to open the door. You see a chance now. A struck of luck on your favor, it seems. The door is locked. He has no way out and you take the opportunity to rush forward and to try and restrain him. However, the moment he realizes this he curses and aims his gun at the woman’s back.

He gives you no choice now.

You pull the trigger.

The shot echoes through the brick walls.

And just like that, his limp body hits the ground.

‘Y/N-ssi, are you okay?’, that voice drags you out of your thoughts. You look up to see your partner’s concerned face in the desk in front of yours.

A sigh escapes from your lips. This thing again.

It’s been over 72 hours and you still catch yourself drifting back to that night. The night of your first kill. You’ve taken a life, nothing is going to change that. A young man barely older than your own brother was now dead by your hand. Yes, he was a criminal, you don’t go around shooting innocent people in the chest. He’d raped and killed four middle-school girls, he was going to receive the death penalty, anyway. But holding onto that to justify yourself doesn’t feel right. Deep down you still wonder if there wasn’t anything else you could’ve done. You didn’t have to kill him… Did you?

‘Hey, I’m starting to worry now’, Seokjin’s voice again. ‘Should I call doctor Park or something?’. You shake your head.

‘I’m okay’, you lie. ‘I spaced out’.

‘I can see that. Is the reason that bothers me’.

Seokjin was a very gentle and laid-back person. Even when you were his junior, he treated you as if you two were the same age. You weren’t sure why he did it, he was not like that with the other officers at the station.

‘It’s my head, not yours. Leave me alone’, you snap back. Jin scoffs.

‘You wish you meant that’.

You sigh and glance at the letter in your hands.

You had just been given an order to take a couple of days off because Human Resources thought you weren’t fit for the field right now. Although they were right, you didn’t want to take days off, work was all you had to keep you distracted, to keep you from thinking about that man over and over again. Closing your eyes is all it takes for you to see his vacant eyes staring at you again. Blood dripping from his lips, his body slowly falling to the ground.

Shit. You dig your nails into the armrest of your chair and take a deep breath. Your other hand, crumbles the letter into a paper ball. As a police officer it is kind of expected of you to shoot criminals if you have too, if the situation calls for it. And it did… Maybe you just weren’t expecting to wound him fatally. Geum San, wanted for armed robbery, domestic violence, rape and murder. He was only twenty years old…

‘How can this world be so fucked up that a kid like him turns out to be a monster?’ you say out loud, more to yourself than for Jin to hear. Still he replies.

‘You’re going about that Geum San case again, huh?’

‘I don’t understand why I can’t stop thinking about it’

‘The first is always the hardest’, Seokjin leans back in his chair, his arms fold over his broad chest and he shrugs. ‘I still remember mine, the guy’s face, the blood, the smell… everything’.

‘Does it ever go away?’

‘No. But it gets easier…’ he gives you a soft smile. ‘Trust me’.

You nod and check your silver wristwatch for the time. It’s almost ten, any other night the precinct would be boiling with people. But for some reason today is a quiet one. An anguished sigh escapes your lips and you lay your head down on your desk. What are you going to do now?

That’s when you feel the warmth of a palm softly touching your shoulder. ‘Wanna grab a drink?’, Seokjin asks. ‘You look like you could use one, Y/N’.

Your desk is almost drowned in paperwork you hadn’t finished but for which you definitely were not in the right mindset now. You have no one waiting for you at home since your brother left this morning for Daegu to visit your mother at the nursing home. You two live alone, and you really don’t want to arrive to an empty apartment after this notice. So yeah… A drink sounded nice.

You sit up straight, 'I would like that’.

Seokjin stands up in an energetic gesture. A bright smile illuminates his handsome face. 'Great! I know just the fanciest of places!’

The place isn’t exactly fancy, but it is cosy. And it is conveniently close to your apartment complex. There is a big red sign at the entrance that reads “Yonosuke’s Table”. It is one of those japanese-themed izakayas, very traditional looking, with shoji-style sliding doors and washi lanterns. You have never been here before, but it looks like they probably sell cheap soju. A faint smell of sugar, soy sauce and mirin welcomes you at the door. Your stomach growls so loud that Seokjin by your side hears it too and laughs.

'We can grab something to eat as well’, he says and you cheeks turned bright red. 'The dumplings here are the best’.

You hadn’t been eaten well lately. Your appetite had been shining for its absence in the past couple of days. You can’t really explain why is this being so hard for you. It’s like a sickness has taken over your body. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t even breathe without feeling the smell of gunpowder and blood in your hands. Whenever you close your eyes, Geum San’s vacant eyes are staring back at you. Blood dripping from his lips, his body slowly falling to the ground as the red stain on his chest expanded over his white shirt. Maybe it’s because he was the same age as your baby brother.

You sigh. And take Jin’s offer, gladly.

You go in and take a seat by the bar.

The chef is an middle-aged man dressed in a blue yukata and a white hat on his head, he reminds you of those hibachi chefs in Itaewon.He welcomes you with an energetic ‘irasshaimasen’ in a heavy Busan accent. A handsome young man walks to your table right away. By the black apron tied around his small waist you figure he must be the waiter.

'Welcome, Jin-hyung’, he says. His lips stretch in a bunny-like smile.

You take a moment to look at him properly. His light brown hair was parted to the side, and a pair of silver hoop earrings hang from his ears. Something in his face seems familiar, though you can’t really put your finger in it. And by the way Seokjin greets him back, they haven’t just met.

'Ggukie! Long time no see. How’s school going?’ Your partner smiles.

'School is great, thank you’. he replies and then glances your way.

His dark eyes scan your face, with one eyebrow cocked. Something about the way he looks at you makes you uneasy in an instant. Like he isn’t looking a you directly but to something past you.You suppress your urge to check if there’s actually something else behind you apart from the concrete wall.

Seokjin doesn’t miss a beat as he places a hand on your shoulder. ‘Oh, this is Y/N, a colleague from work’, the young man bows shortly at you, still with that suspicious look in his eyes. ‘Y/N, this is Jungkook-ah, he’s the chief’s son’.

You force yourself to smile, and try inadvertently to remove Jin’s hand from you. You’ve known Seokjin for years, but you’ve never been confortable with people touching you so easily in public.

'So you are Jungkook, your father is always talking about you’, you lie. You don’t know why you do it, perhaps it is your way to be nice to him. Maybe is you trying to escape from your thoughts through some meaningless small talk. The truth is the chief never talks about his family, not since his wife passed away under unknown circumstances. At least that is what the girl from IT, Seulgi, confided you once during a case.

The rumor was his wife had been killed as retaliation from some arrest involving the mob. Seokjin probably knows all about it, but for some reason you would rather not ask.

Jungkook’s gentle features harden at your words, disappearing into an fake smile.

‘Does he, now…’, he mutters. His tone is bitter, and you notice how he presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek.

You clear your throat, completely aware of what you just did. ‘Anyway. It’s nice to meet you, Jungkook’. And the brat doesn’t reply. Instead, he shifts his gaze back to Seokjin as if you don’t exist.

‘What can I get you, hyung?’

'A bottle of soju’, Seokjin says, and turns to you. 'Oh! and an order of dumplings, you know how I like them’.

'Of course’, Jungkook scribbles the order down in a small notepad.

He leaves but comes back right away with the bottle and two cups. He puts them down in the table. And so your eyes can’t help but follow the movement of his hands, and accidentally wander down the muscles of his tanned arms. You take a curious look at the veins that run along his forearms and the way his biceps flex with each movement. Oh, he works out, alright. You can even see the outline of what looks like a defined chest through his white cotton t-shirt. Not bad for a brat, you think and for a brief second your eyes meet.

He gives you a questioning look, and you are quickly to look away as if nothing happened. You really don’t want to be caught checking out your own boss’ son. A small scoff leaves Jungkook’s lips, and soon he leaves again without saying a word.

Seokjin busies himself with setting the drinks so thankfully he doesn’t notice the flush on your cheeks.

‘So he’s the chief’s son, huh? He doesn’t look like his father at all’, you say, trying to brush off the feeling of awkwardness that has built up in your stomach.

‘Of course, he does. He just needs to grow a moustache’. Seokjin laughs at your disgusted face.‘Okay. Maybe not, but he’s very smart like his father’. He smiles and hands you the cup.

‘Thanks…’, You bring it your lips and drink it in one fell swoop. Seokjin chuckles.

‘Thirsty, are we?’

‘You have no idea’

‘Here, have another’, he says as he fills your cup again. He hasn’t touch his yet.

‘If I didn’t know you any better I would think you’re trying to get me drunk’.

‘Maybe I am’, Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows suggestively stealing a laugh from you.

‘Give me that’ you take the drink and chug it down, ignoring the burning aftertaste down your throat. ‘God, I really needed this’. Your partner looks at you and laughs.

‘Glad I could help’.

For a moment, a warm feeling invades you and it’s definitely not the soju. You and Seokjin have been working side by side since your first day at the force. He was assigned by Captain Bang as your supervising officer when you came fresh out of the Police Academy. Ever since, you’ve worked your cases together. You are not the social butterfly your he is, you know you have a temper and you know you are difficult to deal with. Everyone back at the precinct can and will agree on that if asked. To this day you still wonder why Seokjin chose to stay by your side when he could have easily been promoted to a different division or have a partner with his experience on the field. He just need to ask Captain Bang and he wouldn’t say no to him. No one would ever say no to Kim Seokjin.

You can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips, and you reach out to place your hand on his arm. This is very unlike you, but the moment feels right. There’s something you know, though. You have one friend, and his name is Kim Seokjin.

‘Thank you, sunbae’.

He glances confused at your hand, and when the words slip from your mouth he remains quiet, staring at you with his lips puckered. His eyes run across your face, like he’s trying to guess if you’re being serious or not. For a brief moment they land on your lips but then he burst into giggles.

‘Jesus, are you drunk already?! You are seriously out of shape here, Y/N’, he pats your hand gently. You roll your eyes.

‘I’m never calling you that again, you dick’, you remove your hand and glare at him. Seokjin just laughs even more, clapping his hands together.

‘I’m sorry! I’m sorry! You took me by surprise, you’ve never called me sunbae before’, he says and brings the little cup to his lips. ‘Look, I’ll have a drink on you now, okay?’, He chugs it down and give you an amused grin like he’s saying ‘ta-da!’.

‘So… about the chief’s son’, you scan the room for Jungkook’s figure. You find him smiling, while he serves an elderly couple a few tables away. ‘You seem quite close. I thought the chief wasn’t exactly the social type’

‘He isn’t. I met him because of a case. Do you remember that fraud case from a couple of years ago, right?’ you nod. ‘Well, the chief and Sejin-sunbaenim were asked to participate and they brought me along because by that time Sunbaenim was my supervising officer…’, Seokjin refills his shot glass first, then yours. ‘We’d been staying at the precinct for three days in a row, so Jungkook came by to give his father a change of clothes and he overheard us talking about the case. Then he came up with a brilliant suggestion about how to catch the suspect and it worked. I don’t have the details, but the leading officer, Mr. Bang decided to make him a civilian consultant for the NPA.’

‘Wow, are you serious?’, you raise your eyebrows. He is way too young to be a civilian consultant, so he must be some kind of genius for the higher ups to even consider a kid his age. ‘But I’ve never seen him down at the station before’.

Jin shrugs. ‘That’s because Jungkook-ah refused to join the NPA even if it was as a consultant. He said he was not interested in police work’

‘Why not?’

A tray of dumplings lands with a thud in front of you. You jump in your seat, startled and raise your head to meet Jungkook’s unamused glare.

‘Because my father let my mother die thanks to his job.’, he scowls. His voice is as cold as his eyes when he looks at you. ‘Do you have another question, detective?’

‘Jungkook…’, Seokjin gives him reprimanded look.

'It’s okay, Jin’, you say and then glance at Jungkook again, trying to sound diplomatic. ’ I didn’t mean to pry’.

Jungkook presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek. ‘Enjoy your food’, he says. Then he leaves.

Seokjin is quick to defend him. 'Don’t take it personal, maybe he just had a bad day’, he says with an apologetic smile. You roll your eyes. 'Then that makes two of us’.

Seokjin is a hell of a talker, so he does most of it. As the night progresses, he tells you about his life in the Academy, about his older brother who is going to become a father soon, about his eight cousins and his childhood in his grandparents’ beach house in Jeju. You discuss the summer weather and the latest appointment of Bae Joohyun as head-assistant of the Crime Investigation Bureau. Maybe it is the alcohol kicking in, but by the time you reach that specific topic, you are being way too loud. You are not usually like this, however Joohyun just brings that out of you. You two have your history and it isn’t pretty. Besides... Nobody is happy about that appointment anyway. She is too young and inexperienced for the job. But since her uncle is the director of the NPA, no one dares to say anything against it—At least not out loud. Everyone at the Bureau knows that position belonged to Chief Jeon, he’s earned it through years of being one of the finest detectives in the force. But director Bae goes and overlooks all of it just to favour his niece, that crook.

‘You know? All the chief said about it was that we all should just accept it, and keep doing our jobs’, You slam a hand against the table. ‘He didn’t even seem upset! I don’t get it! He deserved the job…’ Seokjin shrugs. ‘That’s the way the Chief is. He’s like a wise monkey’. You nod in agreement. Always strict, formal and collected, that is the chief you know. With a gleam of something else in his eyes, something dangerous… And you learned today that his son has the same look in his eyes. Like a calm ocean that awaits for the right storm to raise…

Or maybe you have had enough alcohol for one night.

After a friendly competition, one bottle becomes two, and two becomes three and a couple of beers. Seokjin is all bad jokes and giggles as he tries to impress you with his drinking tricks. The dumplings are as good as he promised and he suggests ordering some rolls as well. You keep drinking, and eating, until you are the only customers left inside.

Seokjin’s almost passed out on the table, his head between his arms, his eyes puffy, his cheeks all red. And he still dared to say you were out of shape. You glance at the seven empty bottles of soju in front of you.

‘I guess we should call it a night’, Seokjin snores in response triggering a lazy laugh from you. You check your wrist watch. Jesus… It isn’t even midnight yet.

‘We are hopeless…’ you laughed again and drink what’s left from your second bottle of sapporo, before deciding to wake him up. 'Hey, Seokjinie… time to go’

'Hn…’

'Kim Seokjin, wake up’, you slap his head and he springs back up in his seat.

'This is the police wait-!’ he exclaims still half asleep. One eye open and the other closed, and a trail of saliva going down from the corner of his mouth. 'What?’

'You’re drunk, go home’, you say and he nods, starting to fall asleep again. 'Hey!’

'Ah! Yes, yes… home’

'Get up, I’m going to get you a cab’, yoy stand up and reach for him, pulling him up from his jacket suit to make him stand up. He stumbles over the table but you manage to keep him on his feet until you reach the door and you stop a taxi. 'Take him here and make sure he gets inside’, you hand the driver a paper with Seokjin’s address and push your drunken partner inside the car.

'Thank you for going out with me, Y/N’, Seokjin mumbles.

'This wasn’t a date’.

'Yes, it was’, he gives you a rather goofy grin so yo can’t help but smile back.

‘Get some rest’, you close the car’s door and watch it drive away. When you back inside to gather your things, you approach the chef by the bar. ’Ahjussi, how much is it?’, you ask. He waves a hand in the air.

'Don’t worry, I already put it on his tab’.

'But, I-’

'A lady shouldn’t pay when a man invites her’, he says with an indulgent smile. Well, you are not going to complain. You give him a small bow.

'I’ll be going then. Thank you for the food’

'Oh, lady, wait’, you stop and turn around just in time to see the ahjussi gesturing something to Jungkook who is minding his own things cleaning the bar. Whatever he says, the boy doesn’t like it.

He rolls his eyes before taking off his apron and toss it next to the wet cloth he was using to clean. But the ahjussi smiles at you. 'It’s too late for a pretty lady to walk alone, Jungkookie will escort you home’.

'That’s not necessary, sir. I’m-’

'I insist, please’, the worried look he gives you chastises any protest you might have.

Although you could remind him that you are a police officer and his worries have no basis whatsoever, you don’t want the bother. It’s late, and you want to go home. ‘…Okay’. He smiles at you warmly.

After a few minutes, Jungkook comes out from the back room wearing a checkered shirt, sleeves rolled up at his elbows and a pair of bluejeans. His body language says it all: hands in his pockets, eyes narrowed and chin slightly raised. He isn’t happy about having to escort you home.

'Let’s go’, he says without looking at you. He just walks pass where you are standing and stops by the door. 'What are you waiting for?’

You take a deep sigh.

You’ve been walking for about five minutes and neither of you has said a single word. There is still a few blocks to go before you arrived, and you can’t stand that awkward silence any longer.

'So, Jungkook-ah…’, you try to sound friendlier, 'Are you a student?’

He scoffs. 'Why? Do I look like a mediocre man than can’t do anything better with his life than to work as a waiter in an underrated izakaya?’ His tone is sarcastic. He is such a child if he is still mad at you for asking Seokjin about him. How immature, you scowl at him.

'That’s not what I meant’

'Yes, I am a student’, he says, as if your question is the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.

'Good for you’, you reply sharply.

The silence settles between you two again. Your footsteps against the pavement is all that is to be heard along with the occasional car that passes by. But it doesn’t take much longer for Jungkook to break the silence.

’Hyungnim is a good guy, make sure you don’t hurt him’

You raise an eyebrow. 'Excuse me?’

‘You heard me’. He doesn’t glance your way one time. He just keeps talking with his chin held high like the pretentious little prick you realise he is. 'You look like the kind of woman who doesn’t cope with the girlfriend thing’

You stop on your tracks and turn around to face him.

'What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

'I’m just warning you, because hyung likes you a lot’, he says, ignoring your previous question. 'You are Y/N, right? He talks about you a lot when he comes by the bar.’

'We are just friends. Besides, that’s none of your damn business!’, you snap at him and quickly resumed your walk.

Jungkook follows a few steps behind.

'It’s nothing personal, I just happen to know your type, Y/N’, he speaks again and you swear you are about to hit him in that pretty face of his. He doesn’t even use the honorifics and you hate the way your name sounds in his lips. 'Women who are too comfortable with the attention they get to actually be serious about someone’.

'This is unbelievable’, You mumble under your breath and turn around to face him. Your sudden move brings his steps to a halt. You note he’s tall, maybe taller than Seokjin himself. 'Listen, kid. You don’t know me enough to get to share an opinion about how I am! I don’t care if you are the chief’s son, you can stick your opinions up your ass!’

Jungkook lets out a conceited chuckle and shakes his head like he finds your word hilarious.

'Do you plan on becoming hyung’s girlfriend or not?’, he bluntly asks. You don’t reply, though. It’s not worth it. He is not worth it. He’s been nothing but childish and downright annoying. Jungkook takes your lack of answer as a negative and gives you a condescending look. ‘That’s my point’

'So what? Am I a bad woman just for not being interested in a guy that’s into me?’

'Not for that. For using him, and abuse his attentions to get distracted’

'That’s it! I don’t know what I did to deserve this attitude, but I’m sick of you’, you glare at him with all your might. 'I’m leaving. And you… you can go and fuck yourself’

You start walking away when his voice manages to stop you again.

'The truth hurts, doesn’t it?’

Fuck it. You turn on your heels and hold his gaze.

'You want truth, huh?’ You take a step closer. ‘How about you go deal with your daddy issues. Then we can talk’.

Jungkook’s eyes go wide with indignation. He stammers like his tongue got caught in between his teeth. 'Apologize!’ He manages to bark at you.

You huff. ’You apologize first’. When Jungkook doesn’t say a word. You take it as your cue to finally leave. 'Good night, Jungkook’.

You turn on your heels and leave for good. This time he doesn’t follow you.

That conversation was such a waste of time and energy. As if you have to explain yourself to a complete stranger. How old could he be? 18? 19? You are still his senior by at least four years, who does he think he is to talk to you in banmal and with no honorifics.

You reach the building complex where you live in no time. You notice the weather is actually nice as you take the outdoor stairs to the third floor. The sky is clear and a full moon shines brightly above. You take a moment to appreciate the quietness of the night. If only everything could be as simple as this.

A flash of red and blue paints the building grey walls when a police vehicle rushes pass the street. The echo of its siren brings back more memories from that night.

You are alone next to Geum San’s body. The woman, Ahn Hyejin has passed out in the floor and you try to make her regain consciousness. Your hands are sweaty, you can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins making your heart race desperately.

‘What are you doing?’

Your brother’s voice halts you out of your thoughts. You must have been so far gone that you missed him opening the door. He is home earlier, you thought he wouldn’t be arriving until tomorrow morning. You take a moment to look at him. You try to focus on the silver earrings dangling from his ears, on his messy brown hair, on how much like a little boy he looks with that blue oversized sweater on.

You are home.

‘I was just…’, you gesture vaguely around. ‘you know, admiring the view’.

Taehyung scowls at you and steps back so you can get inside. You take off your shoes the moment you set foot on your apartment and toss them next to the door, not even bothering placing them correctly on the shoe rack.

‘Did you drink?’, he asks. You shrug.

‘Yeah, I had a few beers with Seokjin’, you take of your suit jacket and toss it on the couch on your way to the kitchen. Taehyung follows you.

‘What about work?’

‘Since when do you want to know about my day?’ you eye him through the corner of your eye while you pour yourself a glass of water.

‘Since you just went out to get drunk with a man’. You stop what you are doing and move your gaze to Taehyung.

You don’t like his tone anymore than his posture. His arms crossed over his chest, hands hidden from your view and his head slightly tilted to the side. He’s upset, but he’s holding something back. Still, you really don’t want to deal with whatever this is right now. You are exhausted and your bed is calling for you.

‘First of all, I’m not drunk’, you walk out of the kitchen and head for you room without looking his way. ‘Second, what I do with my time is my business not yours’.

You hear him let out a sarcastic laugh.‘You’re such an hypocrite, Y/N…’

That leaves you stone cold. You slowly turn around and give him a questioning look. Where the hell is all this attitude coming from? ‘What did you say?’

Taehyung shuffles his weight from one feet to another and shakes his head in disapproval.

‘You told me you couldn’t come with me to visit mom because you were busy with work!’, he snaps. ‘Does your work include having a few beers with some dude now?!’

‘Oh my God I was with Seokjin, Taehyung! Not some dude! What the hell?!’, you shout back. You just can’t believe this. What a fucking day you’ve had. ‘Listen, I was already yelled at tonight by a bratty teenager for my life choices, I’m not going to stay hear and listen to another one’.

You motion to open the door, but Taehyung’s words stops you again. He’s clearly not going to let this die tonight. ‘Yeah, it’s not like you listen to me anyway!’ You take a deep breath.

You head has begun to hurt. ‘Can’t we not do this now?’, you plead.

Taehyung growls in frustration, smacking his hands on his thighs. He paces around the hallway like he’s trying to collect his thoughts, but finally gives up.His eyes meet yours and you can no longer see anger in his features. His lips are slightly tugged down, and his brow is furrowed. 'Why are you like this, noona?’

‘Like what?’

He takes a step closer. ‘Tell me something’, his tone is calmer than before. ‘When was the last time you visited our mother in that horrid place you put her in, huh?. A sharp pain pierces through your temples and weights heavy around your left eye.

‘I don’t have to explain myself to you, Taehyung. You know damn well that it wasn’t my decision alone, and frankly I don’t know where the fuck is this coming from..’, He simply stares back at you, not saying a word. ‘All because I didn’t skip my job, which by the way is paying for your tuition, to get on a fucking train to Daegu and visit a sick woman that can’t even recognize her own daughter’s face?!’

You feel something warm going down your cheek so you bring up a hand to inspect. The tips of your fingers get wet and you realize you are crying. Another twinge of pain drills into your head and you close your eyes to take a deep breath.

Taehyung calls your name but you raise a hand on the air to stop him from coming any closer. ‘Just leave me alone…’, you manage to utter before disappearing inside your bedroom. You kick the door close behind you and let yourself fall on the bed.

You don’t even bother to change your clothes. It’s like your head is going to explode in pieces if you do as much as moving your feet.

You don’t want to think about your mother.

You don’t want to think about all those days you spent glued to her hospital bed hoping she would wake up. Hoping you could turn back time and tell her you were fine that day, so that she wouldn’t leave her house to see you. That way the bullet would have never reached her. She would still be the one you remember and not this helpless excuse of a person incapable of control her own sphincters.

It was your fault you mother ended up in such humiliating state. You had no right to visit her, you couldn’t even gather the courage to admit to yourself how much you missed her scent. The mother you knew is dead, you killed her too.

Like you killed Geum San.

Who is going to be your next victim?

Your alarm goes off at six just like every other day. Your headache is gone, but it threatens to surface again when you remember you are off duty for the next seven days.

What are you supposed to do with all this free time? You could barely manage to keep it together when you were busy with cases, now they’ve taken away the only thing that gives your life a sense of purpose.

You shift uncomfortable between your sheets and doze off another two hours until you hear someone opens your door.

‘Why are you still in bed? Is thursday’

You groan and turn around on the bed to face away from him. ‘Leave me alone, Taehyung’

‘What is wrong with you?’

You take a deep breath and decide to get up. This was going to happen sooner or later, your brother would get curious at why you, a workaholic, was skipping work.

Taehyung is ready for his classes. His hair’s still wet from the shower and you can smell his cologne all the way from there. He stares at you like he’s a judge and is waiting for you to present your first witness.

‘I’m suspended’.

He blinks. For a second you doubt if he actually heard you. It takes him a moment, but he reacts.

‘What?’

‘I said I was-’

‘No, that I get.’, he steps inside and takes a seat next to you in the bed. ‘What I don’t get is why. Did something happened?’. Now he looks genuinely concerned.

You shake your head.

‘I just got this letter saying I should take a few days off for my health’.

‘Why…? What’s wrong? Are you sick?’

‘No, I’m- I’m fine…’

‘Is this because that guy you killed?’, Your faces gives you away. He presses his lips together and gives you a little disapproving look. ‘Why are you like this?’

'Like what?’ Taehyung rolls his eyes.

'That guy was a criminal. You did this world a favor, Y/N’.

‘Maybe…’, You sigh. ‘Aish… This world is fucked up’. Taehyung nods in agreement. ‘It’s just…’, your brother looks at you and you can see the concern in his brown eyes ‘I always thought it would be much simpler, you know’

'What would?’

'To kill a somebody’.Taehyung doesn’t say a word. You run a hand through your mess of a hair and sigh. ‘I’m going back to bed, be good…’, Taehyung clicks his tongue with a look of disapproval in his eyes. You roll your eyes ‘What is it now?’

‘I’m sorry, Y/N. But look at you…!’, he shakes his head. ‘You’re beating yourself up over a worthless criminal! He was a beast who needed to be put down. He deserved worse that what you gave him. Have you forgotten what he did to those little girls? Their families are now seeing you as their heroine. You brought justice and closure to their lives… Why is it that is stopping you from seeing the reality of things?’

The reality of things?

You raise both eyebrows. The reality of things was that you had shot a person to death. Period.

‘Killing a killer has never actually reduced the number of killers in this world, has it?’, you say back

Taehyung’s eyes narrow with a vexed expression and then he looks away.

‘Then it’s easy…’, he stands up and walks to the door. ‘You’ll have to kill another one. Don’t you, noona?’.

Your stomach ties in knots.

Killing was wrong, it didn’t matter whether the victim was a heinous criminal or a charitable soul. If one person started taking justice by its own hands, what could stop everyone else to start doing the same thing? It would be madness and chaos. After all, what was justice but a polite term people used when what they actually meant was vengeance.

A terrifying thought send shivers down your spine. Was vengeance something your brother has in mind? You look up at him, but you are unable to find your words. So when no sound comes out, Taehyung lets himself out shutting the door closed behind him.

You react a moment too late. He’s already left the apartment when your phone starts ringing. You grab it from the night stand where you left it.

You are surprise by seeing Chief Jeon’s name on the screen, and press the green button immediately. You’ll deal with Taehyung later.

‘Morning, sir. To what do I owe your call?’

‘I know Bang got you suspended you from the field, Y/N. But I need you to come to the precinct now’.

‘Why? What happened?’.

‘I have not time to explain it by phone. Just get here’, and he hangs up.

Sometimes you forget how much you hate public transportation. Being stuffed inside a worm-looking wagon, with people’s elbows or suitcases piercing your sides that morning reminds you just that. Being suspended meant you can’t drive the station vehicles either, and you’d never really bother buying a car of your own… which you are very much regretting now. This is the only way you have left to move around the city. And since your boss decided to call for you right before the rush hour started, getting there on time in a cab would’ve been like expecting snow in this humid summer. You can’t do anything but endure the ride until you finally reach the Gangnam station.

The streets are flooded with people as you step out of the little crystal dome that covers the entryway to the underground station. The sky is cloudy and the air holds certain humidity that makes you wonder if it is going to rain anytime soon. The walk to the precinct is just fifteen minutes, but that’s all it takes for a thin layer of sweat to cover your forehead by the time you reach the main building.

You can feel the fabric of your blouse sticking to your sides. However, the moment you step inside the facility the familiar smell of stale coffee and rusty cooper desks makes all the discomforts disappear. Your heart jumps with excitement. Even if you are not officially back, having something to do with your morning that involves police work is such a relief.

Being busy keeps your mind from thinking nonsense. Being busy is a good thing.

You stroll pass the desk captain’s booth and give him the mandatory greeting, you don’t bother bowing all the way down for this man. Considering that among the people you can’t call your fans, captain Lee Sunho takes very much the first place. You have all the intention to walk past him without any trouble, but deep down you know you’re never that lucky. He eyes you suspiciously and motions you to come closer with one finger like you are some stray dog.

You’ve hated his condescending attitude towards you and all the the female officers since your first day at the precinct and when he’d asked you to fetch him coffee from the shop across the street. The innocent you from back then genuinely though he had mistaken you for a new secretary since he’d never seen you before, so you kindly explained to him you were the new addition to the CSI department. “That’s great, doll. So about that coffee, I take mine with two sugars and no cream. I’ll be in the meeting room”, was his reply and you were this close to punch him in the face. Luckily for him, Seokjin appeared to scoot you away before you had a chance to reply.

‘Last time I checked you were suspended. What are you doing here, Y/N?’ he asks, one eyebrow raised and his nose scrunched. The classic contempt gesture. He can’t hide it and you don’t blame him. He doesn’t have the brains to understand the body language, let alone control it.

‘Well, last time I checked we weren’t on first names terms, officer Lee’, you fake smile, poorly enough so he can notice. The scowl in his face deepens and you smirk, pleased. ‘Besides, I don’t report to you. Good day’.

You are about to walk away when his hand reaches for your arm and yanks you back. Your hip hits the corner of the metal desk and you have to place a quick hand on it to hold your weight. Otherwise Sunho would have likely smashed you against the glass-covered surface.

‘I’m not having a good day so I recommend you apologise to me right now before I make you’ he speaks but it sounds more like a hiss. His teeth gritted. His fingers curl around your bicep, hard enough to leave a mark. And you swear you are about to make him wear his tongue as a tie until a familiar voice calls your name.

‘Y/N!’, you hear Seokjin’s voice and your head turns in his direction. He approaches the desk and Sunho lets go of your arm in a hurry.

Still, Seokjin shoots him a glare, he probably noticed. But instead of getting physical like you would, your partner simply places a protective hand on your back and motions you to follow him. ‘Come, the chief is waiting for you’.

A sarcastic chuckle leaves Sunho’s lips. ‘…Like always the prince is here to rescue his wench’, you hear him clearly and Seokjin does too. His eyebrows knit together in a frown and you clench your fists so hard your nails bit into the skin of your palm. However, Seokjin manages to make you walk away with him, leaving Sunho behind with his spiteful comments.

‘I swear, Jin…’, you take a deep breath, ‘One of these days I’m- I will kick his tiny balls so up his throat he will end up looking like a goddamn rooster’.

Seokjin snorts, covering his mouth with one hand at you foul language.

‘Jesus christ, Y/N…’, he laughs and shakes his head.

‘I mean it. He’s such an asshole’.

‘Just ignore the idiot, he’s not worth it’, Seokjin waves a hand in dismissal. ‘He’s like that to everyone and the only reason he’s still working here is because he’s with the syndicate. Not even Seulgi likes him and she likes you’.

A bitter chuckle escapes your lips. He has a point, though. You don’t really have friends here apart from Seokjin—and maybe, just maybe chief Jeon. Still, doesn’t feel right to think of him as your friend, the chief is more like a mentor-figure. And considering how good his son and you hit it off, well…

You sigh. At least you have Jin.

‘I don’t think I can ignore someone who’s constantly trying to put me down like I’m less of a person than he is just because I’m a woman’.

‘What do you want me to say, Y/N?’, Jin presses his lips together and shrugs. ‘You don’t need to ask me for permission if you want to hit Sunho in the face. He probably deserves it, but he’s not going to change. He would only have more reasons to hate you’

Yes, he would. You scoff bitterly. Seokjin is right, as always.

You take a look at his side profile as you two keep walking down the corridor to the chief’s office. He’s always been a handsome man, and more than once you’ve jokingly blame him for the hate you receive from the other female employees. ‘You are your stupid handsome face is the reason why I can’t make friends with the girls here’, you would say and he would laugh every time, giving you a cheeky smile. ‘So you think I’m handsome?’.

He displays some signs of narcissistic behavior, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary. You wouldn’t be able to get along if he was a real narcissistic like the desk captain. He’s just confident in himself, and why wouldn’t he be? The smooth and clear skin of his face doesn’t hold a single scar from teenage acne like most of the men here, and he’s always impeccable groomed. The only times you’ve Seokjin disheveled is when he’s drunk, like last night. Which reminds you… He’d said some strange things while you said your goodbyes.

‘Why are you squinting at me?’, Seokjin catches your eye for a moment, but you don’t look away.

‘I’m just thinking…’

‘About what? Me?’, A flirtatious smile tugs at his lips and he chuckles with false modesty. That manages to make you laugh and you turn away, nodding. ‘What- really?!’.

You don’t understand why he sounds so surprised.

‘I’m thinking about how the hell do you manage to look so refreshed today. You were sleep on the table last night after all that soju I had to carry your drunk ass to the cab, remember?’.

He huffs, his lips puckered.

‘I wasn’t that drunk, you didn’t have to carry me’

‘Also… ’, you’re not sure how to bring the subject up. Normally, you would just brush it off and ignore it. Like it never happened. Seokjin probably didn’t meant anything by it and it was just another joke. Yet, you find yourself in need for a confirmation. It’s that brats fault, he managed to get into your head after all and now is making you questioning the nature of your association with Seokjin. ‘You said something funny’.

He doesn’t get it.

‘I’m always funny’, he replies.

You bite your lip and shake your head.

‘Not as in funny-funny, more like weird-funny’, Seokjin cocks his head to the side, surely confused by your wording choice.

‘What did I say?’

‘You said…’, should you say it? What if he doesn’t remember? What if you make things weird?, ‘You said- um… that yesterday… it’s nothing’

You can’t bring yourself to speak, but it’s too late. You have Seokjin worried and he stops his tracks to turn around and look at you, making you come to an abrupt halt against his chest. ‘Shit-’, you mutter. The smell of his after-shave cologne surrounds you like a cloud and his hands come to rest on your shoulders to steady you.

‘Sorry, are you okay?’,

‘Yes, I’m fine… Just nevermind’, you step back holding your bumped nose with one hand and waving the other in a dismissal gesture. You weren’t expecting Jin’s chest to be that hard, did he actually work out behind your back? He was always complaining he didn’t have enough time to hit the gym. ‘Do you have any idea why the chief called us here? You, I get it. But I mean, I’m still suspended’

Seokjin follows you suspiciously quick, was he hoping for a change of subject?, you wonder are you eye him carefully before motion him to resume the walk. The chief’s office’s door is a few feet away, you’re basically there already.

‘Actually no, I’m also just arriving…’, He replies as you come to a stop in front of the wooden door. A golden plate hangs next to it and reads the chief’s full name and title. ‘Though he did sound a little… worried. Do you think something happened?’.

‘It better have, otherwise it’s going to be a boring morning’, you reply and hear Seokjin’s chuckle behind you.

You reach for the door handle and push it open.

A strange quietness surrounds the room, and you notice something is off the moment your eyes land on chief Jeon’s face. He’s sitting by the window, light pouring over his neatly combed grey hair. His thick eyebrows furrowed, deep creases form on his forehead as he stares at the papers scattered across the wooden table in front of him. Standing next to the chief is sergeant Ho. she’s wearing and an impeccable black suit that wraps beautifully around her curves, her bleached blond hair tied up in a ponytail. Her arms are crossed over her chest and her is gaze lost somewhere between the marbled floor and her own thoughts.

But just as you steps inside, she acknowledges your presence. Her chin shoots up and you are welcomed by an all-familiar scowl.

Sergeant Ho Hyunju is yours and Seokjin’s direct superior. You’ve earned yourself a place in her naughty list long ago during a case you would rather cross out of your resume. A boy was being held hostage by his stepmother. You had her cornered in the backyard, and she was pointing a loaded gun at his head. Her hand were shaking too much for her to be able to pull the trigger, that’s why you decided to step in and taunt her into killing the hostage until she was crying and pointed the gun at you. You easily disarmed her after that and the boy was brought into safety by the other officers. However, Sergeant Ho almost suspended you that time because she thought you were being reckless ‘and could’ve had that boy killed, for heaven’s sake!’. You tried to explain her you reasoning, you tried to show her that the woman wasn’t going to fulfill her threat anyway. But she didn’t listen.

You got off only with a warning thanks to chief Jeon. that was a year ago and still she doesn’t approve of your ‘wild’ behaviour, even when you and Seokjin have the best arrest record in the precinct.

That’s when you realize, whatever this is, she doesn’t want you to be there.

It only serves to spark your curiosity even more.

The chief greets you and your partner, and then gestures you to take a seat at the meeting table. Sergeant Ho sit down next to the chief, you and Seokjin sit on the opposite side so you can all face each other.

‘Thanks for coming in such short notice, detectives’, sergeant Ho speaks, her red lips pursed in a thin line.

‘I assume this is not a social call, or there’d coffee’, Seokjin jokes, trying to ease the tension that has suddenly built up inside the room. No one laughs, sergeant Ho’s scowl shifts to him now and you can see Jin glup. The bob of his adam’s apple manages to distract you for a brief second and the the chief clears his throat.

‘I asked you two here because you are my best team, and despite y/n here being suspended’, the chief signals to you with an open hand as he glances briefly at sergeant Ho. ‘There’s no denying she is the best profiler we’ve got’.

‘What is this about, sir?’, You ask.

With a waving gesture, the chief signals something to Sergeant Ho. She then proceeds to slides a paper across the table to you. You manage to take a look at its content before Seokjin grabs it.

It’s a list of names.

‘Last week seven dangerous criminals at the Myangdo Penitentiary died from heart attacks’, Sergeant Ho explains. ‘The autopsies didn’t show traces of poison or something else that might have explained the sudden deaths. The last medical exams showed they were all as healthy as one can be in prison. There’s nothing on security footage either, they weren’t attacked. Between 7:20 and 7:22 pm last wednesday each one of them collapsed to the floor. Dead’.

You frown and gesture Seokjin to hand you the list.

‘How can that happen?’, you ask, your eyes are quickly to escan the seven names. Two of them you remember from previous cases.

‘That’s the thing. We don’t know, no one does’. The chief replies.

‘That’s insane’, Seokjin brings his thumb and forefinger to massage his temples. ‘How can seven people die simultaneously without a cause?’

‘Wait’, you place a hand on the table and glance up to your superiors. ‘If this is happened last week why are we holding a meeting now?’

‘Because it happened again, yesterday’.

‘Yesterday was wednesday too’, you are quick to realize. The chief nods. ‘How many died?’

‘Seven, again’, Sergeant Ho replies handing you another list of names. ‘Fourteen dead and that’s only the ones we know about’.

Seokjin examines the list with a thoughtful frown.‘You think there’s more?’

‘We asked the main office to check with other stations. We’re waiting to hear back from them, but they find the situation hilarious’. Sergeant Ho explains. She drums her fingernails on the table, a disappointed gesture takes over her features for a microsecond before falling back to her stoic resting face. ‘Who cares about criminals dying, that’s what they said’.

‘I don’t know why, don’t know how…’, the chief takes a deep breath and takes off his glasses. ‘But this deaths are not a coincidence. Something- someone is killing this men and I have the feeling there’ll be more deaths. So unless we gather some proof, we can’t present it as a case to the captain let alone the director’.

‘Criminals or not, murder is murder’, sergeant Ho adds, and her gaze turns to you ‘I’m sure this is something we can all agree on’.

‘It is, ma’am’, Seokjin beats you for a second, determination shining in his brown eyes. You can’t help the half smile that tugs at your lips.

‘So, Y/N. This is where you fit in’, the chief says as Sergeant Ho takes a thick blue folder fromㅡwhat you assume isㅡher bag, and hands it to you.

‘Here’s all we’ve gathered about the victims’, she explains. Calling then victims doesn’t seem right, but if the chief is right that’s what they would be. ‘Police records, inmate files from the penitentiary, and some personal information, family, education, work’.

‘There’s gotta be a connection between those men, and I need you to find it. Since you’re our of duty it would be best if you work from home’, chief Jeon says. You take the folder in your hands and acknowledge the command.

‘Yes, sir’

‘What should we do in the meantime?’, Seokjin asks, eager to get involved as well.

‘You and sergeant Ho will head for the Myangdo Penitentiary to question the guards on duty. An appointment has been made already. And I’m going to the Archive, Kang-ssi agreed to help already to find something that might resembles this MO in out files. We meet with the director in two days, work hard’.

With all decided, the chief dismisses the reunion and you part your separated ways. Seokjin sees you to the door and helps you catch a cab. You thank him and give one final bow to sergeant Ho. Each one of you has a mission to fulfill and you are more than eager to dive into yours.

In the following days you receive a call from the chief again. He wants to know if you found anything relevant for today’s meeting and you’re pleased to give him the good knews. You’ve managed to establish two factors that connect the fourteen men: the first thing is that they are all convicted on murder or manslaughter charges. The second, their charges were publicly broadcasted on the news.

But your research didn’t end there. All over the internet there was talking about criminals around the world dropping dead in the streets for no apparent reason. And again, most of them were either accused of murder, rape or other heinous crimes.

One particular post stuck with you.

In Japan during an hostage situation involving a daycare center, the criminal Kurou Otoharada was said to kill himself by jumping from the rooftop even after the authorities had agreed to comply with his demands. It was odd considering he commited suicide and didn’t just died struck by heart failure like the others. His behaviour was suicidal from the beginning, but for your reason you found yourself headed to the National Archives to check the press from the last month and have a better insight into Otoharada’s story.

You didn’t get much, your japanese has never been the best, unlike your brother’s. From what you could gather he basically had died while live in TV, his identity had been publicly displayed like the others. But before him… there was nothing else. And yesterday, another criminal added up to the growing numbers.

The chief sounds pleased with your findings and encourages you to arrive on time for the meeting.

Foolish you thought it was going to be just the four of you and captain Bang. Much to your dismay when you arrive at the office, you realize the chief decided to gather the whole division for this.

As if suspension isn’t enough of a punishment, you have to endure a meeting with over a dozen men, in a narrow room that smells like cigarettes and cheap aftershave. Not to mention that Alain Delon perfume that is like the distinguishing mark of men in the force despite the age, apparently. You find Seokjin among the crowd and decide to stick closer to him, his is the only smell you can stand right now.

On top of that, the chief has barely begin to explain the situation when a particular spiteful comment against the deaths has all them yelling and insulting each other’s’ guts. Almost at the same time.

You catch sergeant Ho’s exasperated gaze across the room. Apart from you she’s the only woman in the room and by the look in her eyes she’s about to slit someone’s throat. Her mind is probably entertaining the same thought you have: Perhaps, apart from Seokjin and Chief Jeon, there were no men in this room but barking dogs.

Maybe if you weren’t in a division where nearly the one-hundred percent of the officers were men, things might be a little different and a dialogue could surface among this peacock fight.

‘All of the victims are criminals. Either being pursued by the police or already behind bars’, another intervention in the debate pulls you out of your thoughts. It’s Seokjin. He’s probably trying to push some sense in this mess. ‘We can assume that more wanted criminals, whose whereabouts are unknown, have died as well. In which case the death toll could be reaching a hundred’

‘I still don’t understand why are we opening an investigation for criminals, captain?’, you hear Detective Jung Dongil speak. He’s past his forty, whites mingled in his black hair, and his nose stands out from his face like a ships’ sail. Captain Bang barely looks at him. He’s been dozing off in his chair since the meeting began. ‘It’s a waste of resources in my opinion’.

‘Then it’s a good thing no one asked for you opinion, Dongil’, replies another and the shouting resumes for another round until sergeant Ho finally has enough of this.

She slams her palms against the wooden surface of the meeting table. ‘Are you gentlemen or a bunch of cattle?! We are discussing a real threat here so I recommend you keep your personal ego debates to yourselves!’.

‘Sergeant Ho is right’, the chief speaks from the head of the table opposite to the captain. ‘This has gone loud enough and you gentleman haven’t heard any of the facts yet and-’.

‘You want to call criminals victims and want to prosecute a ghost’, the nasal voice of supervisor Han chimes in, interrupting him. His small eyes shooting daggers at sergeant Ho who’s still standing at the edge of the table next to the chief. You clench your fists below the table, the chief has made you promise not to intervene today since you are technically not allowed to be there. Still, you are part of the investigation. ‘If you want to keep this nonsense be my guest, but I can’t and won’t ask my men to follow’.

‘People are dying, sir. Someone is killing them’, sergeant Ho replies.

‘Not people. Criminals, sergeant’. There’s a condescending smirk on his face as he eyes the sergeant.

'B-but is it really that bad, boss?’, a young officer officer next to the supervisor addresses sergeant Ho. His tone more conciliatory than judgmental and you notices how he tries to shrink himself into his chair when the sergeant’s eyes land on him. ‘The v-victims were all criminals who deserved the capital punishment several times over, weren’t they?’

'Violent criminal or death row inmate, Yugyeom, if someone kills them it is murder’ Sergeant Ho replies. The young man nods and scribbles something down in his notepad.

'But has it been verified that is murder?’ Dongil asks.

'How could over a hundred heart attacks be a coincidence?’, Seokjin huffs. ‘Of course is murder!’

'Is it?’, for the first time captain Bang intervenes. He eyes Seokjin with a wary look and your partner stiffens. ‘Who could possibly murder that many people over a such a wide area virtually simultaneously, detective Kim?’

‘I- I mean… the thing is, sir- we’ Seokjin can’t reply. He never stammers, and you watch him incredulous as he starts fidgeting with his pen.

'Maybe this is a carefully orchestrated mass assassination carried out by a large organization, wouldn’t you agree, detective?’ Dongil says, with a mock painted across his face.

You roll your eyes. This is getting worse each second, and you are desperate to speak your mind, if only this men would listen to you.

There is something that still feels funny about the records. You can be wrong, though. But from what you’ve gathered so far, the larger amount of victims are concentrated in Seoul. You thought about mention it to the chief in your report, but by the concerned look on his face when this all began, he’s most likely noticed already.

'You gentlemen are missing the real issue here and I might understand Jeon’s concerns’, says captain Bang with his usual bored tone. He eyes the chief with clear contempt as he raises an eyebrow and opens his mouth again. ‘With so many criminals dying like that, what can be said of our pride as police, that’s what worried you, isn’t it?’

And that is it for you. You can’t handle the disrespect anymore. Your right hand slams against the table mimicking sergeant Ho’s intervention before. The thud reverberates through the entire office. You stand up. The room full of noisy men is suddenly silenced as they all turn to look at you.

'This is not a matter of pride, captain’.

'Y/N, don’t-’, the chief hushes you, shaking his head as to remind you you are being inappropriate.

You ignore him and address the entire table this time.

'This is not about pride or reputation. This is a question of justice and if you gentlemen can’t see this, if you think murder is okay because the victims are criminals you are not worthy of wearing your badge’. The table remains silence as to waiting for the captain to scold you. But he doesn’t. He looks at you over his glasses, like he’s hoping you elaborate what you just said. ‘…A man who kills another is a murderer, whether the victim deserved it or not. Period. Our job is to find whoever is responsible for this and prosecute him according to the law’, you say and for a moment your eyes meet the chief’s. Whispers flood the room. Your heart beats aggressively against your chest and you can feel your legs start to tremble.

'So what this woman is saying is that we should believe that it is possible to give other people heart attacks?’, Dongil speaks up again. The same mockery in his face from when he tried to embarrass Seokjin. ‘Please… That’s illogical! These deaths are a coincidence, that is the only reasonable explanation’.

You are not letting him off that easily.

'Perhaps for you, detective, and your narrow little mind it is’, you reply. Dongil’s face turns bright red as he glares at you.

'How dare you talk to your elder like that?!’ he barks. You roll your eyes.

'Heart failure is predominantly caused by cardiovascular diseases or hypertension. However, in some people it can be attributed to the cardiotoxic effect of a particular drug.’, your eyes find Dongil’s. He’s shooting daggers at you. ‘So it is, indeed, possible to give people heart attacks… sunbaenim’

'Spare me the science lesson, woman! You can’t track down a murderer when the cause of death is heart attack!’, he spits back. 'If they had a knife sticking out of them it would be different thing!’

'Every criminal who’d died had his identity publicly broadcasted either on the internet or in the news. Anyone who’d saw who they were could be the killer!’, you add, looking at the conflicted faces scattered around the table. ‘It has to be possible for someone to kill like this, it must’

You hear Dongil scoff. 'That’s just speculation!’

'No, sir. That is a fact’. Dongil doesn’t give you an answer, though you swear he mutters “bitch” between his teeth as he sits back down.

Captain Bang lets out a loud sigh and waves his hand as to ask you to sit down as well. You are not satisfied yet, there’s more you would like to say. But for now, you decide to obey your captain. 'How about putting it to a vote?’, he suggest, he looks tired and annoyed.

‘If I may speak…’, a deep voice from the back of the room suddendly steals the badged collective’s attention. There’s a man standing next to the door that wasn’t there before. He’s dressed all in black, a leather briefcase hangs from his left hand. He’s pale, and young–maybe seokjin’s age or younger. You can’t really tell by the way his fringe covers his eyes. Before someone has a chance to question him, he opens his mouth again.‘I have a message for captain Bang of the Gangnam police from RM’.

The room goes silent again for an instant, followed by a wave of murmurs.

'RM?’, you turn towards Jin who’s wearing the same perplexed expression you must have. ‘As in the RM? The faceless man?’

Nobody knows RM’s real name, or whereabouts or even how he looks like. The first time you’ve ever heard that name was back at the academy. You had signed for a forensic psychology course, and the professor talked often about the mysterious detective RM who could to solve any case no matter what it was. But it wasn’t until you joined the police formally that you really got acquainted with the stories about RM’s cases. He never showed his face, but people seemed to be sure he was a man. His first famous case was back on the 2000’s, about serial bombings in England, so perhaps he was english… but again, nobody knew.

‘We didn’t ask for his involvement’, says the captain.

The man nods. 'Yes, but… The truth is that RM’s been investigating this case for a few days now, it has picked his interest and he’s decided to aid the police in the case’, he explains. He has a calming voice that seem to dissuade the men from protesting against his presence.

‘Who are you, boy?’, Dongil asks.

‘You can address me as Agust, I’ll be RM proxy I look forward to working with you’. He bends down to withdraw a laptop from his briefcase and sets it up in the middle of the table without waiting for permission. Nobody stops him. 'Now please, if you all would keep your tongues to yourself it’d be appreciated. You will now hear RM speak’

The screen lights up with two capital letters in bright green RM over a black background.

’Good afternoon, this is RM’, a high-pitched scrambled voice greets the room. You figure he must be using a filter since it doesn’t sound too mechanical. ’The case before us is unprecedented in scope and difficulty. And is a monstrous case of mass murder that must be stopped at all cost. In order to solve it I request the full cooperation of the Police force. These mysterious deaths are a worldwide phenomenon, but the most deaths as registered in korean soil. Whoever is doing this it’s safe to assume he’s korean. I think I will be able to share with you my theories very soon in a direct confrontation with the killer…Thank you, that would be all for now. You’ll hear of me soon enough’.

After the broadcast ends, Agust doesn’t say anything else. He just packs his things and leaves the room in a silent chaos.

The meeting room cleared an hour ago, but you remain there going over what RM said. He seemed convinced there was only one killer and that he was male. You’ve already figured out he must be korean considering the amount of deaths pilling up in the city’s public records. You can’t help but replay your last conversation with Taehyung.

‘Killing a killer has never actually reduced the number of killers in this world, has it?’

‘Then it’s easy… You’ll have to kill another one’.

You wonder if your brother would ever approve of this. Whoever is having those criminals killed, if it as single person, then it has to be a psychotic fool. His actions: killing so many criminals all over the world, speak of a person who is not doing this for some personal agenda but for the delusion of a greater good. You wonder what kind of thoughts cross his mind. If there are no more criminals, would the world be safer? Would it be fairer? That is not the way the world behaves, and you know it. But clearly he doesn’t.

‘You still here?’.You raise you head to meet Seokjin’s gaze. He’s standing by the door, hands tucked inside his pockets.

‘Looks like it’, Seokjin smirks and walks over to sit next to you.

He stays silence for a moment, but you can tell there’s something in his mind by the way he keeps running his fingers through his fringe only to brush it back into place. For an instant you worry he might bring up you awkward conversation from the past thursday. You never really got to tell him what happened, and he didn’t pressure you to speak up until now. You had secretly hoped he’d forgotten about it.

‘Can I ask you something. Y/n?’

‘Sure…’, You brace yourself for the question when he opens his mouth.

‘What do you think about what RM said?’

Ah. You have to fight the sigh of relief that threatens to leave your lips. As always you worry over nothing, and instead of dwelling more into it, you clear your throat.

‘You mean about the killer being just one person?’ you ask and he nods. You lay back on the chair and let out a sigh. ‘I think he’s probably right. These murders were not carried out by an organization. If it’s a group it has to be small…’

Your partner frowns a little. ‘Why?’

'Well… statistically, the more people involved, the less chance of success. I think it responds to the theory of chaos. Do you have a pen?’, Seokjin pats his breast pocket and fishes out a black pen. You take it and tear a piece of paper from the report sergeant Ho handed you. 'Each individual is a variable’ You draw six crosses in two columns, three on each and join them with straight lines. '…and the more variables determine the initial conditions’, you add more crosses and join them with more lines until the drawing looks like a cobweb. 'The more possible different outcomes. Therefore, to have succeed at killing this many people in such a short period of time, the killer must have acted with very few to cero companions’.

'I see’, Seokjin brushes his nether lip with his thumb and takes his time to examine your doodles with a thoughtful frown. 'You are sure of that despite of the fact that is virtually impossible for one person to kill people simultaneously in two different sides of the world?’

You shrug. 'It has to be possible… somehow’.

'Yeah. I think I agree. Otherwise these deaths wouldn’t make sense at all…’, he says, and gives you a half smile you can’t help but reciprocate. 'We’ll see what he has to say when all this “direct confrontation” thing takes place tomorrow’

‘Yeah…’

Seokjin stands up with a heavy sigh, stretching an arm over his shoulder and then the other.

‘You want me to give you a ride? we can go grab a bite’

‘Thanks, but I’m fine’, you shake your head. ‘Besides… I think I’m going to stop by Seulgi’s station before heading home. I’m thinking about asking her help to monitor naver’s forums in case something interesting pops up’.

‘Very well…’, Jin smiles and places a hand on your shoulder, giving you a comforting squeez. ‘Don’t forget to eat and rest’

You chuckle. ‘Sure thing, mom’

Seokjin gives you an amused smirk over his shoulder and winks before exiting the room.

‘They are calling him Kira now’, you sigh and as you close your laptop. Eyes stinging for having stayed all night at the precinct, monitoring the public naver forums with Seulgi. She’s already gone home, you, on the other hand, stayed for the first official meeting regarding the serial deaths of criminals.

Seokjin next to you only nods.

‘So I heard’.

You are all gathered in the meeting room—chief Jeon, Seokjin, the sergeant Ho, and a couple of officers that willingly asked to join the investigation, senior detective Jung Pilkyeo and his current protegee, rookie officer Kim Yugyeom—waiting for the ‘public confrontation’ RM talked about to happen. His proxy, Agust, sent word to the chief that you all should be watching the national channel around 10 am but gave no other instruction.

‘They are also saying he’s the angel of death, sent by God to punish the evil’, Yugyeom says, eliciting a chuckle from your partner lips.

Detective Jung sighs loudly and shakes his head in disapproval.

‘People can be incredibly superstitious sometimes’, he comments running a hand through his dark locks of hair. He is a handsome man, square chin, wide shoulders and thick eyebrows. You don’t talk much, like you, he isn’t one for social events either so this is the first time you and him have been in the same room for more than an hour.

It didn’t surprise you when you heard he wanted to join the newly-formed task force. From what you’ve read in his reports and the way he handles his cases, Detective Jung’s sense of justice is very similar to yours.

‘How much longer will RM makes us wait?’ sergeant Ho’s voice drags your attention back to the whole table. ‘We need to know his plans if he wants to work with us’.

‘I have the feeling he’s not one for team play, Sergeant’, replies the chief. ‘I guess we’ll have to wait and see. I don’t think Agust would ask us to wait if RM himself hadn’t ask him… In the mean time I want to hear all about this new nickname. You said they were calling him Kira?’

The chief’s gazes falls on you.

‘I think it has to do with the english word ‘killer’, sir. They are also calling him Azrael, like the angel of death in christian lore’, you explain. ‘But Kira is the one nickname that people seem more fond of. It’s alarming the amount of people that support his doings…’

‘He’s offering a machiavellian solution to crime, of course people would support him’ says detective Jung. ‘It would be strange if the didn’t. People tend to find solace in believing there’s a higher power that controls life so they don’t have to worry about facing the cold reality’.

You nod. That’s precisely what you concluded in your assessment with Seulgi.

‘If we can catch him and expose his humanity to the world, then it’s over for him’, you say, ‘People will support a killer God, but won’t support a human murderer’.

‘Am I the only one that finds this terrifying?’, Yugyeom asks from his seat. Again you notice his shy nature, he’s looking down at his lap and tugging at the hairs on his nape. ‘What if he gets angry at us for trying to catch him? What if he kills us?’

The table remains silence. Although Yugyeom is the first to be vocal about his worries, this is something you are sure you all have thought at some point before this began. If he can kill people from the distance, who says he won’t kill people who are against him? But catching the bad guys is your job as policemen, that’s the whole purpose of your badge. To protect innocent people and to bring criminals to justice, and if you are not willing to put your life on the line for what’s right then you can’t call yourself a police officer.

You know some of your colleagues outside this meeting room have other views as to what’s the purpose of their badge. Some of them use it as a privilege, some of the abuse that authority to be as bad as the criminals they put behind bars.

But your thoughts are soon cut by the TV. The screen turned dark blue and the Interpol logo shone over it.

’We interrupt your program to bring you a live broadcast from the International Criminal Police Organization. This is the ICPO to the whole world. Kim Yoonho will provide simultaneous interpretation in Korean’

'Could this be…?’, Seokjin stands up to grab the remote and turn the volume to the highest setting.

The interpol logo disappears and the screen changes into a shoot of a well-dressed man sitting on a red leather armchair.

’My name is Ralph Moore, otherwise known as RM. I am investigating a string of deaths among heinous criminals’, he begins.

The group attention is on this man now. You can’t help but frown as you look at him. Despite of the fact that he does look the way you have imagined RM to be: a man in his mid forties, english and smartly-groomed; you can’t believe him being RM. After who knows how many years hiding his true face, his identity from the world, why would he decide to star in a worldwide broadcast just like that?

There is something that smells fishy about this. He isn’t RM. He can’t be.

'What is happening, sunbaenim?’, you hear Yugyeom’s alarmed tone.

'I- I’m not sure…’ Pilkyeo replies.

’Kira, I have a pretty good idea of why you might want to do something like this. But no matter how brutal the criminals might be, you have no right to judge people. What you are doing is evil and I will do my utmost effort to hunt you down.’ He says. The camera focuses on his face as the broadcast goes on.

This isn’t RM.

His speech sounds too stiff, as if he’s playing out a script.

’Kira, are you watching this?’, he keeps calling him Kira, why? You wonder. Does RM actually believe in that God-punisher theory? Or is this something else? ’How are you killing these people? You may be feeling like God, but from my perspective, you’re just a hopeless, stupid murderer. Stop judging the world by your yardstick. Justice always wins. Kira, I will destroy your childish plans. Do you really think you are needed? Kira, I will send you to the gallows! I will hunt you down! Prepare yourself, Kira…’.

Ralph Moor starts laughing.

Manically.

This man is not RM. Not in a million years.It’s only seconds after that he stops abruptly. His eyes go wide as he clutches his chest. Soon, collapsing on the floor.

The room goes wide-eyed, in a collective gasp.

'Dear God…!’, the chief exclaims.

Your mouth falls open, your heart beating hard against your chest is almost painful. Did he…? Is he…? A heart attack? Can this be a coincidence or was this man actually killed without direct contact? But that’s just impossible… right?

The broadcast doesn’t stop, though. The camera y showing the man lying limp against the armchair, his eyes bulging out of his sockets.

Dead.

This person is dead, Kira killed him.

'W-what just happened?’, Seokjin asks, his tone falter. 'Is he…? d-did he die?’

'This is sickening…’, Detective Jung’s face contours in disgust and looks away from the screen.

‘Chief, look!’, this time is sergeant Ho who points to the small tv plugged on the table.

The screen turns black and a two letters in green appear on the middle of the screen.

RM.

’I can’t believe this, Kira…’ a familiar scrambled voice speaks. ’You can actually kill someone without direct contact? The Ralph Moore you saw on the broadcast today was a convict due to be executed today. In other words, a stand-in for me.’

'I knew it’, you mutter to yourself.

’Kira, if you don’t like it, try to kill me again…” he states. Nothing happens, though. “Go on, do it! What’s wrong? Can’t do it?’.

‘What is he doing? Is he trying to get himself killed for real?!’, sergeant Ho exclaims. The chief doesn’t seems capable to give her an answer, his eyes glued to the screen.

A few seconds pass. Nothing has happened yet.

’I see…’ RM speaks again. ‘So there are people you can’t kill, it seems. Oh, one more thing. I said the broadcast was going live to the whole world but it’s actually only being broadcasted in Seoul. I’d planned to broadcast it in other regions after some time had passed but there is no need for that now. After all, you’re in Seoul, aren’t you, Kira?’

'Oh my God!’, Yugyeom’s face drains of color and you notices his hands start to shake. He looks like he is about to cry, poor boy.

He must be terrified. You are all terrified.

’But that is no reason to just give up and turn yourself in just yet. You are going to be found and your method of killing exposed… by me. Remember that’.

And just like that the transmission ends.

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