#anyways. i need to get back to my redesign of michael

[patchworkspringlocks]

Related to my last reblog I got to thinking about Dave/Patchwork’s relationship to Michael and their role in my au canon as a whole

Dave is, or was, a chronic people pleaser to his core. He’s the type of person to always be support for others and never for himself, the mirrored opposite of William’s obsessive self interest and callous disregard for others (as he has little relevance for existing outside of being a point of comparison between them). In many, many ways an unhealthy mindset to live by, and in many other ways exactly what Michael had needed from a parental figure in his life.

By no means were Michael and Dave close by any definition of the word when they were both still alive. William barely tolerated visiting his wife’s family when he was in a good mood, nevermind being in the presence of his brother-in-law for an extended period who was everything he despised about people condensed into a single figure that was also the only person who could have potentially taken Clara from his meticulously calculated grip. Dave had only seen his nephews and niece at funerals. Even so, he still tried to console and be there for his family, especially his older nephew and especially after the incident in 1983. While Michael was beside himself with grief and fear and guilt and sorrow, Dave was beside him telling him it’s okay to cry if he needed to, that he had a shoulder for him to cry on if he wanted, and that he believes the boy when he says it was an accident. It was the first moment Michael had truly felt seen, comforted, cared for since before his mother passed away.

As Remnant ghosts, their dynamic is much the same, with the added layer of wanting the same thing out of the same person. They’re much too driven by their need for revenge and obstructed by their diminished capacity to feel anything other than anger to properly bond as uncle and nephew like living people would, but Patchwork nevertheless does whatever he can to help them succeed in their goals as they deal with the other murdered souls now out for blood and ensure their continued survival in a world that would hate and fear them as they are. Both of them are adult minds with more cognitive abilities than those of children formed from fear and pain, and with that also comes a level of understanding one another as not many other people are able to. And I think Henry would look at them the way most people would, as broken souls lashing out against their fates chasing goals he thinks he could fulfill and give to them the rest he thinks they need, but Patchwork looks at Michael the same way that Dave once had, as a complete soul distorted by grief but filled with determination to set things right.

Which is why Henry fails, and why I think Dave and Michael ultimately would succeed.

[shamelessrabbithole]

How likely do you think a spin off is?

I mostly ask this , not only because they are at Michael Hissrich's house AGAIN

but

If an actor isn't finding work and had the opportunity to star in a spin off of a show they were on, would they?

Noel hasn't been in something in FOREVER. (Cognaitive was only a few weeks long. And it's a short film.)

Cam has attended A LOT of cons, and I find that actors that get a lot of work don't usually tend to go to cons if they don't have to. But it's a way to make money if needed.

Anyway, any theories?

Also, I wonder if there was ever a spin off, would Cam or Noel get a voice in the writing process?

*Just shower thoughts*

Would love to hear your very own opinion and others too

-💎

That's an interesting hypothesis, 💎. Two back-to-back gatherings at the home of the producer of Shameless. Both times, Noel, Elise and Kate were in attendance. And one time, Isidora. (Back in the summer, there was an Elise-Noel-Isidora meetup there as well.) Could there be a possible Milkovich-led storyline brewing with a single-mom Tami as part of the ensemble?

This isn't the most far-fetched thing I've ever heard. Especially because Cam just started following the on-set teacher from Shameless and both Noel and Layla recently began following Silver Tree. Plus, Layla is now also following John Wells Productions.

Side note: I wouldn't take Cognaitive or the comic cons as indications of anything. Work is work and bigger stars have reached for lower hanging fruit to earn a buck. Also, Cognaitive has been redesignated a 90-minute feature.

But, anyway, back to this spin-off thing. Ya know, I've been trained not to dream big when it comes to this crew, but it was Noel's 40th birthday. 40th. And he didn't spend it traveling or with his family or with his closest friends. He spent it at the home of Michael Hissrich, where he'd just been only nine days prior with nearly all the same castmates present. 🤔 Maybe a Gallavich limited series? Sort of like Dexter: New Blood? I dunno. Again, I'm reluctant to even let my brain drift there, honestly...

[mapleleavesart]

Rough Days and Lo Mein

Don't mind me posting a few of my drabbles! This is a Mikey x yokai!OC of mine and I wanted to post it but I didn't think AO3 would be a good spot for it. The OC is named Mei and she's a Qilin/Kirin. I may or may not post some art of her; I'm in the middle of redesigning her.

(Edit, they will be in their 20's in these, having dated for a few years now, but aren't in any order chronologically. They take place in the 'good future' after the movie)

Word count: 1486

Content Warnings: use of the word 'devil' but not really. Just fluff.

Mikey heard the click of the door close. Then the soft clop-clop of hooves stepping on tile. He looked up from the article on his phone from his spot at the Tian Manor’s very impressive and absolutely gorgeous kitchen. It was the size of the lair’s living room!

The soft thump of a body hitting the soft couch one room over alerted him- immediately he knew something was wrong. He stood up and figured out the way to the entry room- Pizza Supreme, this place had so many rooms!

Not two minutes later he found his target- his lavender Qilin, flopped dramatically on the couch, tail falling off one end and hooves sticking into the air.

Heh. Having unguligrade legs would do that, he supposed.

“Rough day, huh?” Mikey guessed, crouching by his lover’s head and stroking one of her long, tunnel-like ears.

“Yeeeeeeep,” Mei answered him, peeking one brilliantly phthalo green eye open. It sparkled in the natural light leaking from a window somewhere, shifting from lighter green to a darker, almost blue shade, like a gemstone with different faces underwater.

Mei’s eyes were one of her ten most beautiful aspects, in Mikey’s opinion. Up there with her hands, her dorsal scales, her belly scutes, her tail fluff, her body, her face, her hair, and her floppy ears that accented every expression she made and made it super obvious what she was thinking or feeling at any given moment, and really, it was a wonder why Mikey hadn’t fallen for her earlier. And she only got more beautiful with age, so, truely-

Right. His muse was right in front of him and she needed some comfort. Not hearts-for-eyes.

Michael pressed the back of his hand against her horn. It was pretty warm for something made of pure keratin. “Wanna talk about?” he asked, already knowing the answer but offering anyway, while simultaneously planning the rest of their evening.

“Not really,” Mei answered, unaware she was following the script in Mikey’s head to the letter. 

“Okay,” he shrugged, taking the hand pressed against her horn and intertwined it with her nearest hand. “I’m gonna make you something, and then we’re gonna curl up in a pile of blankets on the most comfortable couch in your uncle’s gigantic mansion and then we’re gonna watch funny videos. Or maybe a movie, if you have something in mind. Okay?”

The Qilin Yokai blinked at him tiredly. “When you said  ‘make something’ I hope for your sake you meant food.”

“Aww, you know me so well, Angelcake,”

Mei hummed and shut her eyes.

Mikey kissed the back of her hand, leaned forward, kissed her temple, and whispered “love you,” before he set to work.

~~~

Thirty minutes and a lot of digging around the kitchen looking for the ingredients and tools he needed later, Mikey came out with a woven tray in one hand, the way he was taught to do when he worked at Run of the Mill that one time when he was a kid. 

Did it take a lot of figuring out how Yokain foods and stoves work? Yeah. Did he try a bite of almost every strange Yokai food in the house to compare it to his usual ingredients? Yes.  Did he almost get his finger bitten off by something decidedly still alive in the freezer? Yeah. Was it worth it? Only if he could get Mei to smile.

On the tray was a ceramic pasta bowl, dark green with a few lines of gold- kintsugi- filled with a thick, dark brown sauce and thick noodles, topped with some mystery vegetables and seasonings. It’d be fine. He was a great chef and they were all flavors that worked well together! Mei would love it. Right?

… Right?

Mikey stopped in his tracks. Mei wasn’t where he left her. His hands went cold. His heart pounded in his tympana. “Mei?” He called weakly, voice not responding fully. “Mei, Angelcake?” He tried, louder this time.

One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. 

No response.

The box turtle spun around, scanning the room. It was empty. Not even a strand of tail fur. His head swiveled like a loose screw. The front doors were undisturbed. So we're the two side doors near the front of the mansion. The door to the powder room under the stairs was open and the lights were off. The giant sliding floor-to-ceiling doors under the landing that he'd never been in were… not undisturbed. Huh.

A little light peaked through the crack, softly shifting colors. He crept towards the doors, the quiet sounds of an aquarium ambience YouTube video drifting to his tympana.

He nudged the door open a little further with his foot. The back of a leather couch faced him. There was a pool table to his left and in front of him was a giant… TV? A large square of light and moving pictures was framed by twisting crystals, not unlike Yokain phones. Currently fish were swimming across the screen, casting soft blue light. 

“Mikey?” A soft voice called.

“Mei?” He repeated, stepping around the side of the couch. The love of his life was stretched gracefully across the dark red-brown leather, tail lining the perimeter. Mikey gave a soft smile. “You had me worried for a second there,”

“S’rry. Wanted to get comfortable.” Mei gestured vaguely at the giant screen. “And, y’know. Get this set up.”

“It’s okay,” Mikey shrugged, “just tell me when you disappear next time.” He sat down next to her and she scooted to sit a little more upright. “Oh, and I got you this-” The box turtle took the damp towel that hung on his arm and draped it over Mei’s horn. 

Mei let out a sigh and relaxed her shoulders. “Oh, much better,” she whispered, “you’re the best, Pumpkin,”

“Don’t thank me yet,” He answered through a grin, “you haven’t tried my new recipe!” He placed the tray on her lap and she reached for the fork. “I, uh, I’m not familiar with most Yokain ingredients, so I have no idea what’s in there, but I taste-tested everything I didn’t know so it should still be good-” he bit his tongue to stop his rambling and Mei took a bite.

Her head immediately tilted to one side. The Qilin chewed slowly. It felt like forever until she swallowed and ran her tongue over her lips. It felt like two forevers until she said anything, and even then it was just a quiet, “oh wow.”

“Do you like it?” Mikey asked tentatively, wringing his hands together.

Mei stared down at the dish. She poked a reddish-orange vegetable cut in thick circles. “Interesting use of the Devil carrots,” she noted. “Really brings out the flavor of the - what is this, Grick chops?”

“I have no idea,” he confessed. “Is it- do you like it?”

Why the hell are they called Devil carrots? Oh gosh, she doesn’t like it, does she? She’s totally gonna hate it I did all that for nothing oh god I’ve just ruined her night further oh gosh oh no-

“It’s… it’s like, really good, actually. How’d you know Devil Carrot Lo Mein was my favorite?”

Oh, if only he could become one with the couch. “Lucky guess?” he tried, relaxing and leaning into her while storing that information for later. He fit perfectly within the curve of Mei’s side, like they were two puzzle pieces made to fit. “I’m really glad you like it, I had no idea what I was doing up there.”

“Oh, sure, cause you’re capable of making something that tastes bad,” Mei remarked with a sarcastic eye roll. “I think this is better than Uncle Shangti’s recipe, actually. He usually uses Simurgh or gyuki steaks, but I almost like this better.”

Okay, now Mikey was ready to melt into a puddle of joy and leather. He rested his head against her shoulder. Her tail curled around his body like a mold-to-fit lumbar support attachment. He let out a small churr of contentment.

“Love you,” Mei said in between bites. “Here, find something?” She handed him something like a remote. 

“Love you too.” He took it and fiddled with the buttons.

Ten minutes into some bake-off show, Mikey glanced up at Mei from where he was braiding her waist long, golden-orange hair. He stared for a moment. Blinked to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. “Mei, Angel, your throat is glowing,” he whispered.

Her pthalo eyes flicked to him, reflecting the golden light. Understanding flicked in them a second later. “Oh!’ She stage-whispered back, leaning forward to place her now-empty tray on the coffee table, “I finally get to show you why I love Devil carrots so much.”

This had him confused. “Whaaa…?” he started to voice, only to have his jaw hit the floor as Mei exhaled a plume of flames.

“DEVIL CARROTS MAKE YOU BREATHE FIRE???”

Mei burst out laughing.

[gumnut-logic]

Callisto (Voyage - Bit 1)

Prologue Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 Voyage - Bit 1

Here is the beginning of Chapter Two :D I have completed this chapter so I’m a few thousand words ahead of this posting - this fic is now 12,000 words long :D

As always, many thanks to @tsarinatorment​ @scribbles97​ and @janetm74​ for all the read throughs, help and amazing support (heh, this part was written twice and nearly a third time just trying to get it right - I don’t do that very often at all - but it needed it. Thank you to these three for keeping me on the straight and narrow)

A special thanks also goes to my wonderful physicist, @onereyofstarlight​ who has spent quite some time on this with me also - she’s my John! Literally. We defined the function of the T-drive, discovered what the ‘T’ stands for, and then helped John invent a communications relay network. Yay for a geeking out in the pursuit of logical fiction :D

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this bit. There is plenty more to come :D

-o-o-o-

“Airframe?”

Virgil nudged his board. “Three and Five secure. We are go.”

His eldest brother looked away, back towards Alan, and by extension, their father on the astronaut’s far side.

Dad did not look back.

Next to Virgil, Gordon shifted in his seat.

Internally, Virgil sighed. The tension in the cockpit was so thick, every hair on his body was standing at attention.

Even Uncle Lee was silent, sitting behind their father. Virgil was pretty sure that was a first.

How the astronaut had found out about the situation, Virgil didn’t know. He could ask John, but to be honest, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

Virgil had been in the process of loading up Three when the call had come in. Scott had been called ‘Simon’ three times, the good old ‘Vinnie’ popped up at least once, but Alan had received an ‘Allie’ and that had been promising at first…until it proved short for Albert.

Alan had just shrugged and, with a tight-lipped nod from their father, had advised that they would be picking up their Uncle from Cape Canaveral within the half hour.

Scott hadn’t said a thing.

Virgil added extra supplies for the extra body and hadn’t commented either.

He did, however, notice Dad’s shoulders relaxing just a little. Virgil wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Propulsion?” Scott’s voice was all mechanical command. No inflection or emotion.

Michael, dressed in a black work suit, didn’t react. “All systems green. T-Drive ready.”

The situation with the former Mechanic was a grey area worth every grey hair it created. Scott did not like the man. Hell, Virgil was wary as all hell. He couldn’t help but remember the smoke, the red lights and the thought that perhaps he was giving his life in an attempt to save his Thunderbird as she fell from the sky.

But Brains trusted him. Swore he was genuine, that he had been under the influence of the Hood the entire time.

But Virgil still had nightmares about watching his brother’s ‘bird being torn in two.

There were many questions.

And so much pain.

But at the core of it, they needed the man’s genius. An arrangement was made with the GDF and ‘Michael’, as he had chosen to be known as, now worked under supervision with International Rescue. Almost bonded in servitude to atone for everything he had done. And apparently, he went willingly.

Kayo had so many monitoring devices on the man, he couldn’t pee by himself.

“Helm?” Blue pierced the air and targeted the youngest Tracy.

Alan didn’t flinch, but he did sit straighter.

“Navigation feed locked in. First drop point noted and programmed. Engines prepped and ready. We are go for orbital exit.”

Virgil steeled himself. He hated this part. It turned his head and his insides out. The first time they had engaged the T-drive engines it was a miracle he hadn’t puked all over himself. The second time, at least he had warning, but it hadn’t been much better.

Hopefully these jumps, no more than a second or two in each instance, would be easier. It was an attempt at more precise navigation. Callisto was comparatively closer than the Oort cloud - an odd combination of too far by ion engine and too short by lightspeed engine. So, for efficiency, they were compromising and using a combination. Lightspeed hop, followed by a trajectory change via ion thruster, followed by another hop, the sequence repeating several times. Each time they paused they were to drop a communications buoy, firming up the network with Earth and giving them almost real-time capability.

This was all John and complex, but they would get the Excel to Callisto in less than a day.

Scott’s voice was as strong and as firm as it had been the last time they had made a light speed jump.

“On my mark...”

“5...”

“4...” The countdown was a reassuring familiarity.

“3...”

“2...” Virgil braced himself.

“1...” Alan’s grip tightened.

“Mark!”

Alan moved.

The ship trembled and the world swam.

A blink and everything steadied again.

Alan’s voice was sharp. “First jump complete.” He rattled off numbers as Virgil tried to keep his insides on the inside.

“I am so not a fan of that.” Gordon beside him was clutching at his stomach.

Virgil only grunted.

“Everyone okay?” Scott sounded far too chipper.

But there were a series of FABs bouncing around the cockpit. Virgil resorted to grunting again.

That earned him an extra long glare from his brother, but Virgil waved it away. Besides, John wasn’t communicating any better, his space brother still had his face in his hands.

“That was one hell of a stomach churner. Put my insides in through a washing cycle there, Albert.”

The image Virgil managed off that statement had his insides flipping again.

Uncle Lee was also far too cheerful.

“How many more times do we have to do that?” Gordon was whining.

“Four.” Alan was as chipper as Scott. Probably a good thing since he was the pilot and all.

“Ugh, I should have brought a bucket.”

It was a redundant statement as a bucket required gravity to work. The medic in him flared. “If the nausea becomes an issue, you know what to do.”

That earned him another grunt.

“Keep it together, guys. Alan, ion burn for direction change and buoy drop.” Scott was ever the Commander.

“Already on it! Next jump in thirty-five minutes.”

Far too chipper.

But they were in normal space and that gave them the freedom to move about. Virgil planned to take full advantage.

“Virgil? A word?” It was a question, but his father’s tone obviously expected a positive response.

He sighed to himself, so much for the planned snack. “Yeah, Dad.” He didn’t miss Scott’s reflex glance in both of their directions.

Their father unbuckled and floated toward the back of the cockpit. Virgil had had quite a say in the redesign and the seven stripes of colour down the length of the cabin broke up the ivory he had demanded be plastered on the walls to brighten up the place.

Seven strips of colour, one for each brother, sister and now their father.

The suit his Dad wore today barely resembled the one he had been stranded in. The most dramatic difference was his baldric. Once the silver-grey of command, he had relinquished that to Scott.

Or so they had thought.

Virgil swallowed as he clambered out of his seat, exercising his space legs a little as he re-familiarised himself with the environment.

Dad’s baldric was now a pale gold and consequently, there was a pale gold stripe to match running the length of the cockpit...right next to the silver-grey of Scott’s baldric.

Virgil dropped a hand to Gordon’s shoulder as the fish muttered about his stomach again.

“Hey, we have anti-nausea if you need it.”

Gordon grunted.

“Virgil?” Dad was holding the door to the residential section of the ship.

“Coming.” It was a mutter under his breath that had Gordon glancing up at him, frowning.

A gentle squeeze of his little brother’s shoulder and Virgil pushed off after his father.

Dad led him down the main hallway to...the infirmary? “Dad, what?”

“I need to check you over.”

“Scott already did.”

“I know. Just humour me, please.”

Virgil blinked and pressed his lips together before following his father through the door to the tiny medbay. Scott was definitely a Dad clone in many ways.

The difference was that Scott had checked on him before they left and would have grounded his ass if he found anything wrong. Whereas Dad had waited until now?

The mandatory scanner appeared in his father’s hand and yellow light flickered over Virgil’s arm and torso. A moment as grey eyes examined the readouts.

“I had to make sure.” His father swallowed. “And I wanted to apologise.”

Virgil blinked again. “Uh, sorry?”

Dad put the scanner away and leant back against the bed in the middle of the tiny room. “I want you to understand why I need to do this.”

Virgil’s lips tightened, but he held back his response. He wasn’t really the one who needed the apology.

His father held up his hands as if to fend off what Virgil was thinking. “I know it is a risk, but it is one I’m willing to take.”

“This is not just about you, Dad.”

“I know. Please hear me out.”

Virgil swallowed down his instinctive defensiveness and waited.

“I have spent the last two years watching all of you risk your lives every day. Unable to help.”

“You help, Dad.”

His father held up a hand. “Not enough.”

“You’ve done enough. You made the ultimate sacrifice.”

“This is not the end of my life, Virgil!” It was both a yell and a plea.

Frozen mid-thought, Virgil just stared.

Dad turned away, pulling against the bed to shift himself. “I’m not finished. I owe Berry and Ju and this is my chance to pay.”

“To pay for what? What could be worth your life, Dad? What could be worth putting Scott through all this?”

“Scott? Why is everyone so defensive of Scott. This has nothing to do with him.”

“It has everything to do with him!” It was Virgil’s turn to get loud. For a moment, he forgot he was in space and his frustrated movement set him on a gentle spin. He had to grab a cabinet to right himself. “It has everything to do with all of us.”

His father’s hands were placating as he held them out. “I know you boys sacrificed a lot and I will be forever grateful-“

“You don’t know, Dad.”

“What?”

“Because we haven’t told you how close everything came to collapse. How close we were to losing Scott.”

Dad’s eyes widened. “Virgil-“

“No, you don’t get to gamble on this! I can’t watch it happen all over again. It will kill him.” He wasn’t too sure he had the strength himself either. “You were home. You were safe. You could be Dad again. Why on Earth would you ever want to be anything else after all those years? All those times you chose space, or the business or International Rescue over us. You’re doing it again. Why can’t family be the most important on your list of things, Dad? Just for once?”

It was more than he had intended to say. It bared him to his father’s scrutiny, to the sensitive parts of himself that Dad had never quite understood. His throat grew tight and he struggled to hold it together.

Dad reached out a hand and gently gripped Virgil’s shoulder. “I am who I am, Virgil. I can’t change that.”

There was a knock at the door. “Virgil, are you okay in there?”

Scott.

Virgil closed his eyes.

“He’s fine, Scott.” Dad’s voice was firm.

The door opened. Blue ice combed the room. “Virgil, Michael needs you to check the aft sensor array. He’s getting an anomalous reading.”

Virgil frowned. “Does he think there’s a fault?”

“That’s why he needs you to check it out.” Sharp and defying objection.

And obviously a route to removing Virgil from the room.

Shit.

He glared at Scott, but Scott’s expression was more tired than inflammatory. “Have you eaten?”

“Virgil…”

“I’m going, if you’re going.” Brother-speak for ‘I’m only doing as you say if you do as I say and there is no way I’m leaving you alone with Dad right now’.

Blue flickered as the message was received. “Fine. Check in with Michael and I will see you in the mess hall asap.” Scott pushed off from the door frame and disappeared down the corridor without another word.

And no acknowledgement that their father even existed.

God, this was hard.

“Sorry, Dad, I have to go.” Okay, there was some relief in that, even if he was ashamed to admit it.

The man grunted and squeezed his shoulder before letting go. “We all have our duty.”

Virgil pushed off the bed towards the door, turning for a just a moment to look back at his father. But Dad was staring at nothing, simply floating beside the bed apparently lost in thought.

Virgil’s throat tightened and he opened his mouth.

But nothing came out.

Now more sad than angry, Virgil pushed through the door and left.

After all, he had his duty.

-o-o-o-

Next

[creativefiend19]

random but do you prefer trekker or trekkie? and what's your take on discovery?

Hey Anon,

1. In my mind, trekkies are people who are passionately into the fandom, go to conventions and cosplay, buy memorabilia, write fic, have watched TOS several times etc. So no, I don't consider myself a trekkie, according to my definition of the term anyway. I do love the Ethos and Vision of Star Trek tho, and think it has really impacted the evolution of tech and scientific innovation, so I have a very soft spot for it, despite all the deserved criticism against it.

2. I probably watch TNG and VOY more than many people I know irl but my true love is Deep Space 9 . I'd like to say I'm a Niner, rather than a Trekker. (Also, isn't that the name of Sisko's baseball team? Even better!)

3. I've watched the first half of the first season of Disc. Need to get back to it. I'm interested in where they're taking the spore drive storyline, but otherwise it didn't 'Feel' very Trek to me, despite the Sarek connection and the....mirror universe Lorca? (no spoilers pls).

The Klingon redesign was a bit extreme I thought, and I'm not too happy with Disc's take on them - regardless of the experiments-that-must-not-be-named. I have a pretty clear idea of Klingons as a culture in Trek, and you need to really Get them to write them properly imo. Anyhooo...let's see.

I do wish they hadn't almost immediately killed off one of the only two gay characters ever on Trek - I mean, c'mon. Also, how do you go from super-advanced-spaceship-design to the mid-century modern Enterprise of Kirk and Spock's time, with its primary colours? Time (and more episodes) will tell.

Love the cast tho - Michael Burnam and Sonequa are both excellent, always love Michelle Yeoh in anything. Same with Jason Isaacs (esp in Case Histories) and Tilly is just amazing.

Will get back to you after I watch more!

[aion-rsa]

Future State is the Next Evolution for DC’s Legion of Super-Heroes

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains spoilers for Future State: Legion of Super-Heroes #1

Never let it be said that Brian Michael Bendis doesn’t know how to keep busy. The prolific writer has had his hands full since coming to DC in 2018. Arriving with much fanfare on both Superman and Action Comics, Bendis also relaunched Young Justice, co-created a new DC mainstay in Naomi, wrote the excellent Batman: Universe, shepherded the Event Leviathan mini, and more. All of these books introduced new characters, re-tooled existing ones (such as aging up young Jonathan Kent to his mid-teens), and set various wheels in motion throughout the DC Universe.

And in the midst of that he also rebooted the team with the largest roster in all of comics, the one that brings with it the most complex web of continuity, the one that requires the most amount of worldbuilding by virtue of its 31st century setting. I am, of course, talking about the Legion of Super-Heroes.

It’s been a little over a year since the launch of Bendis and Ryan Sook’s ongoing Legion of Super-Heroes book, which kicked off in the Superman titles, brought the now Legion-aged Jon Kent along (any good Legion needs a Superboy…it’s the law), showcased some truly spectacular new character designs in Sook’s art (new costumes and regular redesigns for Legionnaires may as well be the law, too) and established what the 31st century of the current DC Universe looks like these days. In true Legion fashion…well, it’s a lot.

The book seemed to reach a stopping point with its twelfth issue, taking a brief hiatus. But not too brief, because as part of DC’s Future State initiative, which offers tantalizing glimpses of the DC Universe to come across the entire line, Bendis returns to the 31st century with the two-part Future State: Legion of Super-Heroes, this time aided and abetted by Riley Rossmo on art. And like Sook before him, Rossmo followed one of those unspoken Legion laws and gave a bunch of the Legionnaires new looks. Great new looks.

But…isn’t Legion of Super-Heroes by its very nature ALREADY a Future State book? Not exactly, and fans of the recent series will find plenty of surprises even as it picks up on story threads from the main series. Oh, and if the roster wasn’t big enough already, there are some Legionnaires you haven’t seen yet, and some fan favorites everyone has been waiting for. Bendis told us all about it…

(This interview has been edited for length)

Den of Geek: Future State: Legion of Super-Heroes #1 kicks off with a time jump from where we last saw the team in Legion of Super-Heroes #12. What can you tell us about that time jump?

Brian Michael Bendis: We were going to do a time jump after the first 12 issues, regardless. That was the plan because it’s in the DNA of Legion where you don’t have to, if you don’t want to, there’s no reason to stay [in one time period]. You don’t have to do monthly, to monthly, to monthly, like you would on Superman or Batman because it’s a shared universe and anything that happens in one book affects all the other books.

Whereas Legion, because it’s a thousand years in the future, you can do five years later. You can jump and bounce around and show the story from different perspectives. So the jump was always on the list of things to do with Legion. And then DC called and said, “Hey, Future State!” And I’m like, “Oh, great. Already in my notes.” It was all already planned. It’s the future, of the future. I liked that, so I leaned into it hard.

The issue isn’t clear about how much of a time jump it is, though.

No. The hint I will give is that it’s not as big of a time jump as people might think, considering the dramatic changes that have happened around them.

Is that time jump, and whatever it is that happened, tied to the “Great Darkness” that was being teased in the latter part of the main run? Or is this a separate event?

It is a separate event, but it doesn’t stop the momentum where they’re headed. They’re concerned that this is The Great Darkness. They’re like, “Oh, this is The Great Darkness. We can deal with it.” And then they go, “Oh, shit. This wasn’t The Great Darkness. This was just a mild case of darkness.” As bad as the event was, there’s something else coming. They live in almost…not fear, but in dread of what this Great Darkness is, how it may manifest itself, and whether they’ll be ready for it when it comes.

It’s funny, when I spoke to you before the launch of the book, I had asked you about the potential to touch on existing Legion stories. At the time, you were like, “No, we don’t want to do that,” and you specifically mentioned The Great Darkness Saga as one where “people know what’s going to happen.” And clearly you’ve found a way around that.

I think when we brought back Secret War or other things at Marvel, you want to find something that fits the label, but elevates. You don’t want to just repeat the beats of something people have already seen. I personally like it when, if you don’t know anything about the history of the Legion, it completely works. But if you know everything about Legion, we’ve got something for you. That’s been my goal from the get go.

You had said that the time jump was already probably going to be baked into the book anyway.

It was. It was like my third note when I was making my notes for Legion. It was like, “oh, and we don’t have to follow a linear timeframe.” We can tell stories from anywhere in this period, even going to prequel stories and then stories that go before they were all gathered as well.

How much of the specifics of that were in place before it became Future State? Was Riley Rossmo on art already on the table? Or did that happen later?

No. I’m very happy to report that Riley was the first name requested, and he immediately said yes. I had worked with Riley on a couple of things. There’s something about his work that very deeply speaks to me. I just was like, I would like to see more Legion with him.

I said, “This is a grand opportunity. Just go nuts.” That’s what you want for someone like Riley, to give him an excuse just to use all his tools and all his imagination. He took it from there.

And the script was really like… sometimes you write scripts, and they’re emotional, and sometimes they almost take on a list of drawing prompts. I was just prompting him to go as crazy as he wanted to go, and I would then take the ideas from there.

How did you settle on which Legionnaires would be part of this? Did Riley have input into that as well?

I 100% said to Riley, “Who do you want to draw?” I do this with anybody I can. If there’s any space in which we can meet. I’m like, “What would you like to draw?” I’ve learned through many years and many collaborations that just asking brings a level of craft and quality to the finished product that everyone gets excited about. When an artist points to something and says, “I want to draw that,” they’re telling you, “I’m going to draw the hell out of it and this is going to be amazing.” So I always try to make it work.

He had a list of characters, some of which I already knew he was going to pick from our past work together. I was able to use most of them. Also, I told him what the hook of the story was, so it was easy to cast. There were some character needs we had, like Saturn Girl, but he had already picked them.

One of my favorite things about the Legion in general, and then particularly about this run of it, it’s always about how the characters evolve and how the costumes get redesigned on a regular basis. This was the first opportunity since Ryan Sook did the designs in the main run for that to happen. Did you discuss any of Riley’s designs beforehand?

I told him “Here’s what’s happened to them, here’s who did it, here’s why, and make your choices. Here’s what’s motivating the character.” And then sometimes he came to me with designs where I went, “Oh, I can write a whole of stuff about that.” So, yeah, it was a nice mix.

It’s nice to see the Duo Damsel change happen.

See, I agree with you and I hated it at the same time. One of my favorite storylines of all time is the Duo Damsel thing. But it’s also like the biggest tragedy in comics to me. It’s like a haunting thing. It’s losing a limb but it’s a whole person. So, I was excited to write it and dreading it at the same time. I knew I would feel it and I knew that Riley would bring a lot to it too.

You’re able to encompass that whole thing in just a couple of panels too. It was really powerful.

Well, if I remember correctly, that’s how they did it back in the day too.

Yeah. It was like, she came back and they’re like, “Wait, you’re alive.” It’s like, “well, kind of…”

Yeah, and no one knows what to say. It’s just so unique, the tragedy.

There’s a lot of characters who appear in this issue. Shadow Lass, Ultra Boy, Brainiac 7, Saturn Girl, Colossal Boy, Chameleon Boy, Cosmic Boy, Timber Wolf, Blok, Duo Damsel, Bouncing Boy, and Element Lad. I rattled off the people that I know for sure because they’re throughout most of the book. And then page eight and nine, there’s this spread and there’s a few Legionnaires that I can’t quite identify. Is that Shrinking Violent and Polar Boy? Who are some of these others?

That’s the Substitute Heroes. Time jumping was number three on my list of Legion notes, but I think the Substitutes was number eight. May I say, hilariously at the announcement of this relaunch of a Legion of Super-Heroes, the first comment was, “Substitute Heroes.” I was like, bring them. We don’t want the Legion, we want the Substitutes. I was excited to bring them in here, and it seemed like a good place. And also, Riley was the right person to infuse them with new energy.

Who’s the guy wearing the Superman crest and the hood?

You will find out next issue. A payoff’s coming.

On page 23, you give Bouncing Boy possibly his most badass moment ever. How long have you been planning that Bouncing Boy moment in your head?

Riley made it the most badass moment ever, I will say. If you really do some pseudo-super-Legion science, he really does add up to be the most powerful Legionnaire. I just thought it was a great way to celebrate that character, which I love.

That panel’s great. I almost want to see it in 3D.

Everyone gets their moment and then every once in a while, just something really special happens in the collaboration and you’re like, yeah, good. I absolutely wanted Bouncing Boy to have that kickass of a moment.

I have one more question about one of the mystery Legionnaires. There’s another great shot, another great spread at the end of the book. There’s a guy who is carrying a laser sword of some kind. I don’t recognize this character.

That’s Ferro Lad and his sword. He has a sword now. I love that design.

There’s one more issue of Future State: Legion of Super-Heroes out in February, but there’s no Legion in DC’s solicitations for March and April.

But there are Legion plans coming. Legion is a hard book to make. There’s 34 lead characters, and we try to shove as many of them on panel as often as possible because that’s one of the best parts of the Legion is the scope of it.

I think you can kind of tell from the jam issues and the fill-ins and the level of quality, attempting to keep it at the highest quality possible, yet still delivering that very special Legion feeling…instead of fill-ins that may not be up to the quality that we were doing, we’ll stop, get a story ready to go, and solicit it when it’s time. There’s more to come.

I know that’s frustrating for some people and some people just want it monthly. I get that, but not all books are created in the same way. It’s art. Even though it’s commercial art, it is art. The pandemic also takes a lot out of the schedule. When we’re ready, we’ll put out more. We’re planning stuff that connects to what’s going on in Justice League as well. Not to connect the two, but that is 100% within what’s happening.

Do you already have your artistic collaborators lined up for the next arc of the book?

Yes.

You’re not going to tell me, are you?

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No. It’s very, very good news. I’m absolutely delighted, but honestly, I don’t want the person stolen. Sometimes that has happened to me. I don’t mean to be vague, but right now, I don’t want to oversell something that is down the line.

One of the cool things you did in the main run of the book was introduce legacy characters that fans don’t usually associate with the Legion, like Dr. Fate and particularly Gold Lantern. I want to know what kind of feedback you got from fans on those.

Well, I was actually quite delighted. I thought the purists were really going to hit us hard on any additive stuff, but most Legion fans know that almost every run of Legion has had the added characters to the roster.

It gets frustrating only because when there’s been a lot of time in between Legion books, so some of these fan-favorite characters from past runs don’t get as much face time because you’ve introduced Gold Lantern and “oh, Gold Lantern is standing in front of Ferro Lad. We want more Ferro Lad!” Which I understand, so you better make sure Gold Lantern is interesting enough that no one feels slighted because it’s not Shadow Lass. I must say the additions, particularly of Gold Lantern and Dr. Fate and Monster Boy, all seem to go over very well and I was grateful for that.

Our biggest pushback was on redesigning the costumes. That comes with every Legion redo as well. So I pointed that out. But part of it is that some of the biggest fans in the world have already dedicated cosplay, and we messed up their cosplay. This happened in the X-Men too when we redid Magneto’s costume. People were screaming at us. We’re like “Oh, because you bought the helmet. Okay. I’m sorry. I get it.”

But I just don’t think they take away from each other. I just know from Legion past and other franchises I’ve worked on that anything you’re earnestly adding to it is good, even if it’s got pushback in the moment. I live in a world with the things I’ve gotten pushed back on the hardest ended up being huge movie moments that everybody applauded 10 years later. “Good job on creating Ronin!” I’m like, “Really? Where were you when it debuted? Because people were ripping my face off.”

So compared to stuff like that, I think the Legion fans have been just really, really generous and cool about where we’re going. I think they can tell we’re real Legion fans and we’re not messing around, and we’re taking it seriously. Even though you may not agree with every choice we’re making, you see we’re making loving choices.

Future State: Legion of Super-Heroes #1 is on sale now. We’ll have more from Brian Michael Bendis about his upcoming run on Justice League very soon!

The post Future State is the Next Evolution for DC’s Legion of Super-Heroes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[romancandlemagazine]

An Interview with Peter Saville

Peter Saville doesn’t need much of an introduction. Not only was he the man responsible for what might be called the ‘visual language’ of Factory Records, designing record covers for the likes of Joy Division, New Order and A Certain Ratio, but he’s also produced powerful imagery for David Byrne, Suede, Pulp, George Michael and countless other icons of audio.

And, if all that wasn’t enough, he came up with that dynamic logo that’s on the side of those yellow trams that roll through Piccadilly Gardens every few minutes.

I called him up to talk about his work today, Manchester in the 70s and his idea of 'the interzone'.

Are you busy at the moment, have you got a lot on?

Yes, even when I think I’m not busy, things just seem to come up. As you get older you tend to think things will change, but actually, they don’t change at all. Anyway, it’s better to have something to do than nothing, so I’m not going to complain.

What have you been up to lately?

The highest profile project over the last 12 months has been Calvin Klein  — the redesign of the Calvin Klein identity for Raf Simons.

What does that involve then? What would you call that? Is it ‘branding’?

I try to avoid the term ‘branding’. It’s a useful word to understand the context of the work, but it’s not a process that I wish to perform. It’s a strange hybrid between design, advertising and PR. It’s almost entirely commercial, and therefore, it’s not something I want to be involved with.

So you’re not getting bogged down with the commercial stuff?

The capturing of markets and controlling of markets is not something that I wish to be associated with. My work, and any reputation I have, is based on giving something to people, not leading them to a market.

The Factory Records covers were not about making people buy the records. They didn’t even try to make people buy the record. They existed independently to the music, and therefore people’s relationships with them were quite different. The people who liked the covers or became interested in the covers saw them as possessions - they learnt through them, things they maybe didn’t know before.

Was that the intention of those covers? To show people the things you were into?

That was my intention. I was learning and so, I was sharing. The nature of Factory Records was that I had complete autonomy to do that. There was no marketing and no one was trying trying to sell records. Factory was a situation that allowed a group of individuals to do what they wanted to do. If other people liked it and supported it, then fine.

That was what Factory was about. And it was the same with The Haçienda. It wasn’t run as a business, trying to take money off the kids of Manchester, it was a gift to the kids of Manchester.

Something separate from money and business?

Yes,  you did it because you could. But you’ll know very well that in the contemporary market place, there are very few companies who are doing things just because they can. They do things to make money. That’s business.

For a period of time in my career, I needed to engage with business. I was not an up-and-coming young designer, nor was I a ‘statesman’ of popular culture — it was an in-between period - in the ‘90s I needed to have a relationship with business.

Everyone’s got to eat.

Yes exactly, you’ve got to make a living. I had this uneasy relationship with different sectors, but I didn’t find a comfort zone for myself.

So at the end of the 90s, I stopped looking. I did a retrospective book and a show, and I closed the studio. I didn’t want to go into fashion marketing or branding or retail. I didn’t really want to do that. So I just had to be on my own. Since the early 2000s, I’ve operated independently.

I suppose you’re maybe in a comfortable position where you can pick and choose a bit, thanks to all the things you’ve done in the past.

I’m fortunate that just enough people engage me with work and commissions that I can address on my terms.

When Raf Simons phoned and asked me to look at the issue of the Calvin Klein identity – I was able to identify with his position. He is not Calvin Klein — Calvin Klein is Calvin Klein, and Raf is someone else. So I had to say to myself, “If I was in Raf’s position, what would I do?” So I changed the original Calvin Klein lettering from upper and lower case to upper case – it became capitals. It’s evolved from the subjective to the objective, but it still looks like Calvin Klein.

When you’re asked to intervene in aspects of cultural history, it’s quite an honour. You feel a sense of responsibility in responding to the challenge.

To respect what’s gone before?

Exactly. So in certain situations, I’m really happy to do that. But when someone is approaching me with something that has absolutely no virtue other than profit, because I don’t have a company to carry, I don’t have to do it.

When I first started to learn about art and design history, I was frustrated. Going right back to the ‘70s in Manchester, I would sit in the library at what was then Manchester Polytechnic, looking at the history of art and design, and simultaneously looking out of the window at Oxford Road, and feeling an enormous disconnect, and a sense of frustration. I was angry.

Because you were so far away from the things you were reading about?

Yes, because the everyday world wasn’t the way it could be.

What was it like back then?

It was terrible. When I was 20, in 1975, buses, cinemas, bus stops, railway stations, department stores, taxis, packaging, signs, logos… they were appalling. There wasn’t any awareness of contemporary design — of how design led thinking could make things better. That frustrated and upset me. And I felt very strongly then, as I do know, that our everyday world can be better.

Now what ‘better’ is, is a kind of variable. We saw a lot of ‘design’ begin to get rolled out in the 80s and 90s, but then it got rolled out to the point of ad infinitum, and lost its significance.  

Things merely only looking good is not necessarily better, and an awful lot of art and design has been co-opted to camouflage the intent of things. And that’s not better. Using our cultural heritage, our civilisation, to sell mobile phone minutes or cheap holidays or gratuitous fashion — using it as merely packaging for the unnecessary — isn’t good.

And a lot of that started to happen. Business, as ever, takes a lead from the avant-garde, and begins to copy it, but without values.  I try to do things well, and to improve the look of things that have values. But if it’s something with no values, it’s kind of wrong to wrap it up as something important.

There’s a lot of that these days… a lot of things look pretty slick, but beyond the fancy shell, there’s not much to them.

The one thing that has upset me over the last 20 years is the way that the canon of culture has been used in ways that we no longer trust. 30 years ago if you did something better, it meant it was better… someone was trying to make a better pair of jeans or a better car. But now, it’s just a look.

I suppose it’s hard to put effort and thought into something you’ve got no belief in.

Exactly. As you grow up and get to understand the world better, you question things. Some of the things I used to take for granted when I was 25 or 30 — I now look at in a completely different way. Once upon a time I might have thought it was nice to do the identity for something like a bank. But who wants to work for a bank now? They’ve shown themselves to be utterly disreputable.

So the understanding of the work and the world and the people who approach is constantly changing. You have to try to hold on to your own values. My reputation, the fact that some people have some admiration for me, is because my work meant something to them.

But if you suddenly starting doing some naff work for a bank, it’d discount all that.

Exactly. I became more concerned with my own identity than in just being prepared to work for people who’d pay me money. And I’m quite happy being me, trying as much as I can to be genuine about the things I do. It’s not easy. We have to earn a living, so it’s not all spiritual… we have to engage with reality.

Going back to what you were saying about looking after Oxford Road and feeling distanced and frustrated. Was that what spurred you on to do those first designs for Factory?

In 1978, the year I graduated from college, I wasn’t being asked to do anything for the infrastructure of the country. But someone did ask me to do a poster. There were things happening – the whole post-punk scene and the notion of independence in music. All of the venues that Manchester had for punk and new wave bands were being closed for one reason or another, and on behalf of the youth culture of the city, Tony Wilson took it upon himself to organise a venue.

Factory was nothing more than what is referred to these days as ‘a night’. It was Friday night every two weeks for two months, and that was it. I knew he was doing this, so I went to see him and said, “Can I do something.” And he said, “Do a poster.”

In doing that poster, I tried to put a better poster, a more intelligent and more beautiful poster, on the walls of Manchester than the ones that were already there. And that led to Factory records where I was given the freedom to express my will and my wish for how things should be,

It was an autonomous situation; it was not a proper company and everybody what they did in the way they wanted to do it. Nobody had any former experience, no one told anyone else how they should do what they were doing, we all performed autonomously. It shouldn’t have worked, but it did.

Were you ever questioned or disputed at all?

Not really no. Famously, ‘Blue Monday’ went straight from me to the printers. No one saw it.

Did you listen to the music when you were designing the covers?

If I could, but very often that wasn’t possible. But the covers weren’t about the music, they were about the moment. But then the bands were making music about the moment too.

There was always accidental parallels. I was into the aesthetics of computer systems that people were talking about a lot in the 70s and 80s. I didn’t have a computer – it wasn’t a part of everyday life, but people talked about them in the way that people talk about artificial intelligence now. You haven’t met a robot, but you know they’re coming.

So in the late 70s and 80s, computers were on my mind, and I was thinking about the visual side of it. And at the same time, New Order were looking at the significance of computers in making music. So what I did on the cover of Blue Monday had a parallel to what they did. In fact, the floppy disk was the common factor between the two. The first time I saw a floppy disk was the day Stephen Morris gave me one, and that became the basis for the cover.

It wasn’t about the music; it was about music as part of our culture. We were interested in the now. They expressed it musically, I expressed it visually.

The significant word to mention in any kind of understanding of me is the word ‘interzone’.

What do you mean by that? What is the ‘interzone’?

The interzone is the space between design, art, fashion, music, movies, photography, architecture, interior… it’s what people talk about now as convergence. And that was what interested me, even as a teenager. I was interested in the leading edge of mass culture, and how the new ideas would define themselves in different ways.

The feeling of the now is the feeling of the now. Musicians express it one way, film-makers express it another way and photographers express it in yet another way – but it’s all the same spirit. We know that now.

It’s all the same thing.

It’s all the same thing. That was my view 40 years ago in college, it’s just that I happened to want make art, which I saw as record covers, so I went to study graphic design. But what I found there was a closed mind-set — graphic people were into graphics, and weren’t very aware of what fashion or music was doing. This notion of the interzone wasn’t really appreciated.

I was never particularly interested in graphics or typography, I was interested in how two dimensional culture could capture the mood of the moment — the feeling of the now. So I studied graphics, but I spent more time in the fashion department than the graphics department.

If you just started pasting posters up yourself, but they weren’t linked with music or an event, they would just be a bit of paper on a wall. They might be interesting, but they wouldn’t be tied in with anything.

If you just make work that is not applied to any situation, then it’s art. These days art is quite a credible thing to do, but in the mid-70s in the North of England, you were more likely to  become an astronaut then be an artist.

The only art that I saw was on record covers, so I wanted to do record covers. The record cover was the only place where you could see freeform visual thinking.

So Malcolm Garrett and I both wanted to do that. In a way we both wanted to be artists, but we didn’t know anything about art. So what was important to me was this broader feeling of the now.

As someone who is so into ‘the now’, what are your thoughts on the nostalgia that surrounds Factory? Why do you think people look back at that stuff so fondly?

I think there’s nostalgia about things that seem to have values. People are seeking authenticity and meaning. So things that have authenticity and meaning never die, because they’re more than just surface.

People still talk about Coco Chanel because she changed the way women could be in the world. She didn’t found Chanel to make money, she found Chanel to express herself and what she cared about.

Companies exploit these values — they continuously harvest them like GM crops, to the point that the market and the audience become tired of it. But they’ll carry on wringing it out until there’s nothing left. It’s desperate and it’s tedious to see the way the world operates.

In regards to the nostalgia thing, do you think people often take the wrong things from history? Instead of being inspired by the free way you lot worked at Factory, people just rip off your graphics.

Yes, unfortunately the mass market can be rather superficial. They get the look more than the attitude. But it’s a long process of familiarisation. We are living in an era of the dissemination of privilege, it is really only in the last 50 to 100 years that ordinary people have actually been allowed to share in privilege.

Do you think the internet has had an effect on that?

It’s one step forward, one step back. The internet allows for the unfettered distribution of a message, and at the same time it allows for confusion and fake news. The problem with the internet is trying to tell the difference between what’s real and what’s not.

Almost everything that we invent which is a benefit to society just becomes a problem sooner or later. The motorcar was brilliant – now it’s a problem. That’s just life.

Where do you see things going?

I don’t know. I don’t care anymore. Next month I’m 62. It is other people’s responsibility now. I don’t have any children, but if I did, I would be very concerned. I’m passing the baton of the ones coming up.

What would you say to them as you pass the proverbial baton?

Do things you believe in. There’s a constant battle between good and bad, but as least if you do things you believe in, you’re trying to keep it on the right side of good.

It’s very difficult for every new generation, as they face a new set of challenges that the generation before didn’t even dream of. I thought I had a lot of people to compete with in the 80s, but now there is a 1000 times more. It’s really difficult.

It’s not even easy to find somewhere to live, or to find a job of any kind. The safety net that I sensed as a young person in the UK in the 70s – how the state would stop you from falling – is not there anymore. I think it’s increasingly difficult for every next generation.

As far as you can, try to do what you believe in, because then you hold on to yourself. I don’t really have much money – I don’t own my home, but I’m happy with what I’ve done. I might regret some mistakes I made, but I don’t regret the work I made.  

Interview originally published in 2018. 

[oflokismischief]

Christmas At Lux || Discord

Summary: After being trapped alone with Clint for two hours in France, Loki is in desperate need of a drink, and good company something a certain Archangel just happened to give.

Written With: @ofwarriors

Michael: He sat at the bar and surveyed the club below. It was different than the last time he'd been here. Lucifer had it redesigned in some gaudy and dramatic Christmas theme. His waitstaff wore what he assumed were Christmas elf costumes, but it was hard to tell seeing as the outfits themselves were barely existent. In terms of who'd won the silent battle of décor here, he had to give it to Zatanna. Michael picked up his bourbon and took a sip before looking at the patron next to him. "So, what brings you here tonight?" he asked. "Curiosity or boredom?"

Loki: Had been stuck in France with Clint for another two hours when they'd finally figured out how to get out and find their way out of Zatanna's. Clint immediately went on the hunt for his son Hayden who Nat had stolen away, the god wanting nothing more than a nice drink decided to check out the Lux club.  If anything he could at least have the burn in his throat to take his mind off the fact he'd greatly enjoyed being 'lost' with Clint. Just before he could take a sip of his drink he turned towards the male who'd spoken. "Drinks, if I'm being honest" he replied taking great interest in the not human before him. "but this will hardly do much for me outside of enjoyment. Why are you here?"

Michael: He sensed magic about the man that was similar to Zatanna's. There was also a heaviness in his heart. Guilt? Loss? He couldn't read it. The emotions were too intertwined. "Ah, the drinks," Michael pondered. "I can't quite feel them myself, but I hear if you tip Maz well she'll make them nice and strong," he remarked as he took a sip from his own glass. "I have to admit, this isn't my usual scene. My brother owns the place. I guess you can say I'm just here to support," he shrugged.

Grant: Grant had never been one for the holidays, growing up his family didn't have much and they didn't really celebrate much. He tended to try and be working this time of year but he wasn't able to get placed on an op this year. Why he had ventured out into the chaos that was beyond him, and all he wanted was a good drink. He sat down at the bar before ordering a beer, listening in on the conversation around him. "Your brother? The guy going around calling himself Lucifer?"

Loki: could tell this human wasn’t one at all, he wasn’t so much a God but something close. Things were turning quite interesting on Earth which made him glad his brother sent him here to keep an eye on things. " I can't either but something about two lonely people met in a bar sounded so wonderful to me" he chuckled softly before looking back at the new gentlemen and the other finally connecting the dots " if your brother is Lucifer does that make you Michael? Much too handsome to be either Raphael or Gabriel." He teased the male of course letting the mischief show in his green eyes. " such a good brother you are there was a time I would've counted my elder brother against you....but times change and people grow apart"

Michael: "Two lonely people meet at a bar? Come on, now, you're better than that old cliché," teased the archangel before turning to look at the other gentleman that had spoken. "Unfortunately, that's him," he laughed. "It would appear he's made quite a name for himself. Mostly because he seems to be compelled to name drop himself any chance he gets," he replied with a shake of his head. What could one expect from an angel that was banished due to his own bloody vanity and pride? "I am Michael," he acknowledged to the other man. He seemed quick to catch on that things here were not as they seemed. "I'll be sure to let Gabe and Ralph know they're runner ups, but for our sake let's hope they don't make an appearance." Lucifer was lucky it was Michael who was summoned here. Despite his brother's idiotic and childish schemes, Michael was the more patient of the four principal archangels. Gabriel and Raphael would have ripped heaven and earth apart to put Lucifer back in his rightful place. Michael was content just keeping the balance in check for now anyway.

Loki: Chuckled softly looking at the other "Nothing wrong with old cliché" He replied before sipping the drink that he knew would do nothing for him. He had to admit he didn't know this Lucifer but he could sense no lie in Michael's voice when he talked about how much his brother enjoyed name dropping. " Nice to meet you Michael, and I'll appreciate you keeping my love for you hidden from the others, who knows maybe you'll also be able to protect me from them should they make an appearance. " He chuckled softly before looking at the other he wondered, for a quick moment what it would be like to get the male drunk simply for the fun he was sure to follow. "You can't get drunk on this stuff you say? would you like to try something that my family makes? The recipe has been passed down through the generations?" 

Michael: "I'd say your secret is safe with me considering you never gave me your name," teased the archangel. In a town full of mages, monsters, and metahumans he could be just about anyone. "but, if it does come down to it, I've been dodging Ralph and Gabe effectively for centuries now. I'm sure I can help you avoid them too," he laughed before looking down at his cup. "Bootleg liquor, huh? If it's as strong as you say it is, I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass.  I've got work in the morning," he said, nudging his head toward Zatara's Magic Shop.

Loki: smirked at the other it was true he'd all but guessed the others name but never gave his in return " Loki at your service" he replied holding out his hand in a greeting gesture. " well I'm very thankful for whatever help you provide after all I'm the lover of the family, not the fighter" he replied before chuckling softly " bootleg liquor? I'll have you know this was made by the finest brewery in my hometown, plus it's not that strong for those who know their limits, just a taste? I'm pretty sure you look like one who can hold their liquor" he offered before smiling "I've never been there, but I've heard good things about it, never really felt the need too, what do you do for Zatara?"

Michael: He shook Loki's hand with good spirits. "God of Mischief, huh?" The angel had been around long enough to know the Asgardian myths which Christianity eventually displaced on this plane of existence. Loki reminded him greatly of Lucifer. Young, mischievous, and a tad misunderstood. The Lux was a fitting place for a man like that. He could already see the gears working in this smooth talker's head. He wanted to see what kind of mischief he could get up to by getting an angel drunk. Not that it was possible. Michael slid his cup over to Loki. "I've been drinking around the world today at Zatara's. I suppose its only fair to try a bit of Asgard too." He'd indulge him in one drink before retiring for the night. "I'm the artifacts curator for the shop," he replied.

Loki: He shook the other's hand feeling his smile slip to his lips when the male knew one of his many titles "a Fan of Asgardian Myths I see, makes me smile to hear that name from your lips, what's life without a little mischief?" He teased after all he wasn't call sliver tongue simply because the man was quick with his words. Loki could tell the angel didn't believe him about how strong the ale would be but then again that was part of the plan anyhow. With a wave of his hand, he made a flask appear before pouring two full shot glasses of Ale before chuckling softly "I see we had similar ideas, I got stuck in France for a little bit" He replied before looking at the male with great interest "A curator? what kind of artifacts do you guys deal with? are all just magi inbound things?" He replied before grabbing his drink to sip it.

Michael: "I had a brother who was all about mischief. He runs this club now and happens to not find me nearly as charming these days," he laughed. The parallels between their mythos didn't escape Michael. He supposed history repeated itself quite frequently. He watched as the flask appeared in Loki's hand and smiled to himself. It reminded him of Zatanna's stage tricks and theatrics. Were all mages this animated? Certainly, the ones he gravitated to were. "I suppose that's as good a place as any to be stuck. Did you at least try the baguettes? They're delicious," he replied as he took the small shot glass in hand. "A lot of it is magi based. Zatanna's amassed a dangerous amount over the years. And then there are some items that date older than the magi themselves. You're more than welcome to stop by and take a look. Naturally, all the fun items are kept in storage though," he laughed, holding up his glass to the god in a cheers gesture before knocking back the drink.

Loki: "I find you charming and I'm still all about mischief maybe it's just a sibling feud I've had a couple of those I'm sure you know" he replied softly knowing that his bit of theatrics was something the other would appreciate after all he worked with the great Zatanna did he not? " of course I did, one thing these mortals are quite good at is food, what was your favorite country to visit?" He questioned smirking before cheering the angel and downing his drink very much the same way "I'd love too so long as your working, while I know plenty of magi I'm afraid the type of artifacts you know about are things I thought useless to learn. Back home we had something similar on display but most of them were fun items it should be interesting to see what you deem dangerous and why"  he chuckled switching back to regular alcohol knowing the angel would try another glass for fear of getting drunk.

[adrenalineguide]

Chrysler Pacifica

Text and Photos by Michael Hozjan

Lee Iacocca resurrected Chrysler from bankruptcy when he unveiled a cheap, roomy people hauler called a minivan. The rest as they say is history. In the blink of an eye every car manufacturer under the sun came out with their rendition of what a people mover should be. There was a minivan for every budget, from the short wheelbase nothing fancy Chrysler Voyager to big-buck models from Toyota and Honda. Over the years however, the minivan market has given way to suvs and crossovers with many manufacturers falling off the bandwagon.  Chrysler, Toyota and Honda have remained leaders in the market and now Chrysler has set its crosshairs on the two Japanese manufacturers with the advent of the Pacifica – and in the process has left everyone scratching their heads.

There used to be a pecking order, you wanted cheap (read affordable) you’d buy a Chrysler. If you wanted a minivan that would last until the kids grew old enough for college, you’d go for a Toyota Sienna or Honda Odyssey. In between was the Kia Sedona that crept into the marketplace and has been a formidable contender. The keynote here is the Chryslers (Dodge line included here) have been affordable. I won’t go so far as to say that Chrysler has re-invented the minivan, but they have certainly upped the ante for the competition.

At first glance

Chrysler’s top-of-the-line Town & Country, which shared its underpinning with the Grand Caravan has been replaced by the all new, from ground up Pacifica – a name you may recall belonged the company’s crossover/station wagon model.

The Pacifica is easily distinguishable from other minivans as I found out during my week behind the wheel with people constantly approaching me to ask questions or to give me the thumbs up. From the Chrysler 200 grille mounted on a longer than usual (for Chrysler) front end to a forward sloping rear pillar that is highlighted by the wrap around rear glass, the Pacifica’s architecture is unique and can really pop if you choose the right color. Chrysler claims its sixth generation minivan is also the most aerodynamic van ever, which should improve fuel economy. I say should because my figures came to 10.9L/100kms in combined city/highway driving, which was in par with the mileage figures I had with the Town & Country.

A minivan that handles

There’s plenty to stand up and cheer from the rooftops about the Pacifica. Riding on an all new, lighter and stronger structure, the new chassis abandons the solid rear tube axle in favor of an independent rear suspension, hence turning the Pacifica from an otherwise so so handling minivan into a – dare I say it - sporty people mover. Truth be told the Pacifica outshines the outgoing model in slalom testing by a country mile.

It proved to be less top-heavy feeling than both the Toyota Sienna and Honda Odyssey.  

Power comes from a redesigned 3.6 liter Pentastar V6 that produces 287 hp and 262 lb-ft. of torque.  Under the new sheetmetal is a plethora of electronic gadgetry to keep this luxury van in place. Quick lane changes are no longer a white-knuckle move and on twisty lakeside roads this box on wheels takes it in stride. If you’ve ever driven a minivan at anything over the posted city speed limits you’ll know they can be a handful.

The interior    

There are five trim levels available starting with the $38,790 LX, which is followed by the Touring ($39,995) that adds sliding dual power sliding doors, a roof rack, automatic headlamps, 10-spoke aluminum wheels. That’s followed by the Touring-L in the middle of the trim level at $43,995 with tri-zone automatic temp control, heated driver and passenger seats, leather wrapped steering wheel, and LED tail lights.  The Touring-L Plus at $46,995 adds a 506-watt amp with 13 speakers, heated steering wheel as well as heated second row seats, blind-spot monitoring (because some people still have no idea how to properly adjust their mirrors), cross path detection, second and third row USB charging ports, active braking as well as rear park assist among its goodies.  The new crown jewel of minivans is the Limited, coming in at $52,995. Adding to the new list of bells and whistles in the segment is the on-board integrated vacuum. Great for not only cleaning up after the rug rats, but also any loose construction waste from hauling the renovation materials. Although I doubt that many Pacifica owners will be hauling sheets of sheetrock in the back, even with the Stow’n Go folding second row seats being a standard item.

To stow the second row of buckets you need to move the front seats far forward to access the cubbyhole, to ease the operation, Chrysler has added a one-touch switch on the B-pillar that moves the front seat(s) forward and back. Speaking of cubbyholes, the Pacifica has the usual minivan prerequisite of storage bins and sippy cup holders that we’ve come to expect the segment.

In a “What were they thinking?” move Chrysler has decided NOT to offer the Pacifica with a spare tire. There aren’t any run flat tires listed either (which I’m not a fan of anyway). So if you or any one of those soccer moms is stuck in the side of the road with a flat...you’re s…t out of luck.   

I would leave out the integrated vacuum, and opt instead for the optional inflatable spare tire and leave cleaning up residue potato chips and drywall powder to the shop vac.   Even though the inflatable spare isn’t exactly what you’d want to haul a truck load of kids or family members back home from your cottage late Sunday night  with, it’s far better than waiting for the CAA to come and fix your flat.  

The Limited owner also gets 18-inch wheels, power folding third row seat, two-mode ventilation for the leather faced front seats, Touring suspension, tri-pane panoramic sunroof, and of course the mandatory 8.4 inch multimedia centre. Hands-free sliding side doors and liftgate are also part of the 50-grand package.

Fit and finish has been improved yet again although I wasn’t crazy of the shiny black plastic on the dash. 

I’ve always been a fan of Chrysler’s user-friendly infotainment system. Compared to Honda’s system, it’ll add years to your life by keeping your blood pressure down and second row passengers will love the 10-inch screens.

A hybrid minivan

Coming in 2017 is a plug-in hybrid model – the first of its kind in the segment – with a lithium-ion battery and a 3.6 liter V-6 Atkinson cycle engine. It’ll be mated to a continuously variable transmission (CVT). Watch for more on this in the near future. 

Conclusion

It’s obvious that Fiat Chrysler Automobiles wants to re-energize the falling minivan segment with the Pacifica and judging by the looks it got during my weeklong possession, it appears to be on track. In a twist of fate the Pacifica just won the Utility Vehicle of the Year at the Detroit auto show this past week. It marks the first time that a 50 plus grand people hauler has won the UTILITY title.

While all focus is on the Pacifica, and it is deservedly so, I just hope that Chrysler won’t forget the little guy, the folks that helped put Chrysler back on the map with an affordable minivan and that despite all the rumors, the Grand Caravan will NOT be axed.   

[raystart]

Big Spaceship: The Indie Agency That Grew Up With the Internet

From its humble beginnings in Brooklyn’s Dumbo in 2000, when that part of New York City was a desolate, off-the-grid stomping ground of artists and artisans, to the 115-person agency that has been the focus of two Harvard Business Review case studies and was knighted digital partner by JetBlue in June, Big Spaceship is still doing what it does best: paving new paths for how creative agencies define themselves, what they do, and how they work.

Calling itself a “modern partner to ambitious brands,” the agency has dropped the word digital from its list of attributes in a move aimed at putting the limiting and, in its opinion, now obsolete definition of digital agency behind it. (If the whole world is digitized, the thinking goes, why would you call yourself digital anymore?)

Big Spaceship, whose name seems more relevant than ever, is focused on what it can do for brands – and how culture and behavior affect their ability to do this – rather than which vertical they inhabit. In this vein, they divide their services into the three unique offerings: systems, stories, and communities. Big Spaceship is clearly doing something right. In addition to landing JetBlue, the 17-year-old company recently became Hasbro Games’ agency of record (note: not just “digital” agency of record), redesigned the Boston Ballet’s digital identity, created an app for BMW drivers that connects them with company engineers, and made a three-part film series in White Sands National Monument to showcase the photographic prowess of Samsung’s new phone.

99U Contributing Editor Dave Benton sat down with founder and CEO Michael Lebowitz, the man most responsible for Big Spaceship’s flight patterns, to find out how the agency manages to win clients David vs. Goliath��style from competitors many times its size, why the company’s culture is such a fundamental driver of its success, and how the company’s ethos plays out in everyday working life.  

How have you seen Dumbo change over the course of 17 years?

In the first four or five months, we were in a 100-square-foot bedroom in my partner’s apartment in Brooklyn. Very soon after that we found our first office space and it was wildly cheap. Early on there were tumbleweeds blowing by! Our first building was pretty rough and tumble, and now there are extremely fancy and expensive condos nearby. There was a period of time where there weren’t even any services in the area and we had to walk up into Brooklyn Heights to get anything to eat. There was a great artistic community here – furniture makers and artisans and the like – and there was a vibrance to it even though it was quiet.

Eventually we got an actual market, which was a big step, and now that it has turned into a digital agency hub; part of me loves it and part of me regrets ever saying anything about Dumbo. It’s always a double-edged sword. Dumbo is such a neighborhood unto itself; you experience it the same way you would with the gentrification of a residential neighborhood. We’ve maintained a certain internal culture and are just as we used to be. The main difference is that our friends and clients are happy to spend time with us here.

How did you come to design?

It goes far back, in a strange way, to the Macintosh 512 I had when I was a young kid. I got one early on at my house, and there was no turning back from there. It was black and white and had a tiny screen, but it was incredible. We then got an early modem and had CompuServe, and I figured out how to do file downloads for the software to create my own bulletin board. I was probably 12 years old, and people would sign on and we would chat and trade files, so I guess I was into the internet before the internet, in a weird way. This was around 1984 or 1985. Design-wise, I was using Mac Paint and would create covers for my schoolwork, but I was never a good designer. I might have actually been the world’s worst designer.

My first real commercial work wasn’t until 1996. I had a friend who worked at a record label, and he introduced me to an internship out of a small web design company in Massachusetts. I swallowed my pride and moved back in with my mom in order to take it. Three of the guys who owned and worked at the studio lived in the house, and I would turn up in the morning all enthusiastic, and they’d wander down in their bathrobes with cigarettes and coffee! Their niche was music, so I worked on the Aerosmith website and a few other things, and that’s where I really began to cut my teeth and taught myself Flash. After a while of doing that, I moved back to New York and got my first full-time gig out of the print division at the back of the Village Voice.

It was incredibly quaint to get a digital job at a printed newspaper. It was the Wild West in web design at that time. There were barely any books, and when I started out you would see something online and just try to reverse engineer it. There was this great sharing community, but there really weren’t any classes or curriculum. You could be a designer just by having enough jobs and Photoshop to do it.

Thanks to the Harvard Business Review’s write-up on Big Spaceship, you’ve had a lasting effect on how digital agencies have structured their teams. How is your structure special, and how does it help your team?

There was a moment in 2007 when we were still seated in the office by discipline. I heard somebody say, “That’s not us; that’s the producers.” It horrified me! I felt like we were a band of misfits that all worked together, so the very next day I reseated everyone by the project they were working on so everyone sat cross-functionally, oriented toward the goal of the work rather than the skill sets that they aligned with. We never looked back.

At that time, all of our projects were of a very similar size and shape. We had fixed teams with a fixed number of people of different disciplines and they had names and numbers – that’s what Harvard wrote the case study about, and whether that structure would allow us to grow and scale. We can scale it, but when you are dealing with many different accounts and sizes of projects, as digital matured more and became the center of things, that’s when things got more interesting. We needed to make our organization more elastic and make sure we could slide people where we needed. But keeping the cross-functional accountability for great work always stayed the same.

The downside of cross-functional teams is that you don’t have all the designers sitting together and learning from each other. It is important that you develop every channel for communication that you can. We have Slack channels for each discipline. We focus on creating the connectivity that you don’t have from sitting together. We became much more efficient with this structure, and the team system was driven to make it like there were several small agencies within a small agency. One of the most important parts of this is that problems within teams surface far more quickly, so they can be resolved sooner. It keeps everything more transparent.

What does it take to create a great organization for the future?

The one thing you have real control over is values. It’s about your day-to-day job satisfaction. Our core values are to “take care of each other,” “collaborate inside and out,” “speak up – no silent disagreement,” and “produce amazing work.” It sounds pretty simple, although it took a lot of tweaking over time to get it down to that. I’ve recently been thinking of adding one around inclusivity and the value of diversity of perspective. One of the reasons we say “speak up” is that I have a lot of experience in what we do, but I don’t have the perspective of someone who has a 23-year-old’s interface with the culture right now, and neither of those is more valuable than the other.

An intern’s view is as valuable as mine, just in a completely different way. And I’m talking about the broadest sense of diversity, where it’s about bringing your whole self to work. I don’t want someone to just be a role; I want them to be a person. How can we embrace that as fully as possible and bring in every new facet we can bring in?

How are you adapting your agency to the post–“digital agency” world?

We should be thinking about people, and that people are at the center of it. Everything is being transformed by the biggest economic revolution of our lifetime, and it needs more nuance. Digital was enough of a differentiator for a while, as it could still be seen as separate from other things, but now it can’t. It could be used to optimize a company’s supply chain or for a social post. So digital is no longer a useful word. I understand that people are calling themselves digital agencies because that’s what clients are searching for, but I prefer to put our philosophy first and call ourselves a “modern partner,” as we were born into the digital world and understand it. The term digital agency means different things to everyone. We are in a position to be fortunate enough to say we are “a modern partner to ambitious brands.” We want to say something about our ambition because we are now in a position where we believe we can deliver on it.

How do you stay on top of what’s happening in the world around us, and when do you pull this knowledge in for your clients?

We hire curious people with a broad range of skill sets at the company now, and we always give people a voice. We tend to hire people who are good at connecting dots that might not otherwise be connected. My superpower is connecting the real superheroes. I also try hard not to dive too deeply into the industry trade publications, as I don’t think you find inspiration there. We will look at other agencies’ work to admire it, but I think it’s dangerous to get your inspiration from an echo chamber. If it’s being talked about in a publication, it’s probably a bit late anyway. Look at what the kids are doing: That’s being aware but not overcommitting. VR is an example; I tell my clients to be aware but the time is not right to go there yet.

How do you maintain perspective when you’ve done the same thing for so long?

Having lived in Dumbo for 17 years, I don’t think about it as one job. We have a slide we show on our agency credentials presentation plotting us in internet history. It’s essentially a timeline of logos. I love being able to say we are only a year younger than Wi-Fi being standardized, and only a year older than iTunes, the iPod, and Wikipedia. So it’s not one company when you predate so many things and have seen them all happen. We saw the iPod emerge and thought that would change everything. Then we saw the iPhone emerge and that did change everything. It’s a pretty soft transition, as you can’t watch yourself grow. It doesn’t feel the same: It feels like we are one set of values and ethos but we’ve been a dozen companies over that time. 

You are one of the last original digital companies that has not been purchased. Why maintain independence?

I have been portrayed in the press as rabidly independent, and that’s not really true. I do get overtures almost weekly, but the problem historically was that I would have these conversations and think that they just didn’t get me and would try to assimilate our agency into their culture. If someone came to me and said they really got us and would want to structure us in a way that doesn’t change us but made us better, I’d be open to that. So I’m just incredibly picky. When I see something that’s amazing, that will be the next chapter. I love this place, and I have an obligation to all these people, as they came in for something really specific. You don’t do something that is going to change it negatively lightly. I consider myself personally responsible for the culture of the place. I need to make sure we are doing everything we can to tend the cultural garden.    

[dr-beverly-crushing-it]

some thoughts on discovery because I just watched it and am very excited! (I’ll be tagging this and other spoilery posts “discovery spoilers” in case you want to blacklist them)

-first up, I really like the music and title sequence? which, maybe my opinion should be taken with a grain of salt because I absolutely love all the Star Trek themes and intros, even (especially) Enterprise, but whatever

-the Klingon armor is so good. Like, I have mixed feelings about the redesign for a number of reasons but I think we can all agree that those shoulder/chestplate things with the gold spider webby stuff? fantastic. good aesthetic

-I also like the Starfleet uniforms, good stuff and thankfully no catsuits

-on the subject of good aesthetics I really like the hologram video things? Like it doesn’t make the most sense in terms of continuity but damn does it look cool when the hologram glitches when they come under attack.

-just in general this is shaping up to be a very pretty show, and I am happy about that.

-oh also about the hologram admiral-- when he introduced himself I thought he said his name was Admiral Bread Anderson, I realize that’s probably not funny to anyone else but I found it hilarious

-Saru! I am intrigued. I want to know more about his world. His design is cool. don’t have much else to say, I need more info about him.

-and hey, speaking of aliens there was a split-second where I’m pretty sure I saw a bridge officer with some sort of rectangular-looking robot head? I missed the rest of that scene because I was too busy wondering whether we were going to get introduced to her. looks like probably not, but a girl can dream.

-in terms of the show’s overall feel, it gave me a very DS9 kind of vibe. You’ve got your established Starfleet captain preaching the Federation philosophy, you’ve got a younger officer who’s gone through some pretty severe trauma and isn’t as convinced by Starfleet’s rose-tinted visors, you’ve got the makings of a longer-term story arc and a war.... it feels very much like the two-parter that started off DS9 and that makes me hopeful that we’re going to get similarly nuanced themes and plotlines.

-also on the subject of plotlines and themes, it looks like Disco is going hard on the whole ‘questioning the Federation’ thing. I’m excited about that, since I think Trek is at its best when the characters don’t adhere firmly to Starfleet’s philosophy. We see elements of that from Seven of Nine in VOY, Kira in DS9, Ro Laren on TNG. These characters refuse to buy in to Starfleet’s guiding ideology to different degrees, and it should be interesting to see a main character who seems to be questioning Starfleet somewhat already.

-maybe even more interesting, those same themes of questioning Federation morality are being echoed by the Klingons (as you would expect, since the Klingons have never been keen on Federation ethics/norms/etc.). I’ll be interested to see how that plays out over the course of the series.

-also, going back to Michael Burnham, she seems to be set up as a variant on the “outsider” archetype that is used on every Trek (Spock, Data, The Doctor, Seven, Odo, T’Pol, etc.). That’s particularly interesting because she is, in fact, fully human, despite being raised on Vulcan. I’ll be interested to see how that gets explored further. I’m hoping they give her a similar (or better!) level of development to Spock or Seven in terms of incorporating both her human and alien identities together.

-Captain Georgiou!! (sp? it’s 1am I can’t be bothered to google spellings at this hour) I like her a lot. She strikes me as the most classical Starfleet character we’ve gotten so far, very much in the mold of Picard or Janeway. I’m disappointed that they decided to kill her off-- that seemed unnecessary, and I was looking forward to seeing more of her. Maybe she’ll come back in flashbacks?

-anyway overall I’m excited, I have hopes that this will live up to the Trek legacy, I really want to enjoy it and I think I most likely will

-maybe the question that’s bothering me most right now is how the heck Harry Mudd is going to fit into this show? I think they showed him in the preview and I’m confused. Like, maybe they’ll have goofy one-off episodes apart from the larger plot thread (I hope they do, that’s a hallmark of Trek) but there’s goofy shenanigans and then there’s sex trafficking, and Mudd definitely falls into the latter category no matter how much they treated him as a joke in TOS. I don’t get why he needs to come back. Whatever, maybe they’ll handle it well and surprise me.

That is all, I should go to bed now since I have an 8am tomorrow, but in conclusion st:disco looks promising and I’m super excited to be watching it unfold. LLAP y’all, sorry for the super long post

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - The United States of Snickers

This episode of WWEm by Emma™ contains your recommended daily intake of Raw and Smackdown.

Transmission date: Monday 13/Tuesday 14 March 2017 .

Slightly later than planned because I just fell into a hole of cool youtube videos, here is SATURDAY AFTERNOON RAW! .

(but earlier than my usual schedule, because that still doesn't exist) .

(no, not you, daniel) .

we open with dramatic stills of goldberg getting a belt he didn't deserve and flaunting it on raw last time .

and brock entering the room anzzzzzzzz .

*snort* .

this angle is such bullshit and they're hanging the whole show round it .

really the best possible outcome would be for goldberg to retain and then shinsuke debut and take it off him the following day .

we're in detroit .

because apparently people still live there .

(go...oilers?) .

(wait, shit, red wings) .

(oilers are in fucking edmonton, no idea where that came from) .

anyway, brock is here now, which is why i'm busy talking about hockey instead .

the weird placement of sponsor idents on the graphic for the mania fight makes it look like they're fighting for the Snickers Universal Championship .

ooooh, the crowd is split .

some suplex city chants, some violent hate .

nice to see him get actual heel heat .

paul opens by having a rapturous reaction to the f5 last week .

slightly delayed reaction there .

also, it happened in a different state .

at least, i assume it did .

fucked if i can remember where this show is week on week .

oh wait, last week was chicago because the crowd was bullshit .

how many other things can i find to talk about instead of paying attention to the brock show? .

paul is predicting the death of their foes and brock's illimitable dominion over all .

the usual .

also taunting the crowd and dramatically announcing goldberg isn't here .

and counting things off on his fingers but stopping at one .

either that or he was doing a weirdly inappropriate thumbs-up throughout that section .

BROCK .

STAND THE FUCK STILL .

ahem .

sorry, that's been building up for months .

i just want to reach in through the screen and grab his shoulders .

okay, yeah, he's just gesturing with his thumb .

that's weird .

oh hey, they're going now .

what a loss .

instead, we have mick backstage in a room made of curtains .

they can't afford walls in detroit .

steph turns up to try and mend fences with mick .

which is kind of nice .

she's saying she's trying to teach mick how to be a manager, and now she's going to try being nice rather than a bitch .

so her first lesson is how to trim the fat .

so by the end of the episode, he has to fire someone .

because this drives motivation and performance up? .

ah, corporate philosophy .

i like anti-villain steph .

still evil, but not a needless bitch .

weird cut for ads, and now it's sasha/dana? .

apparently .

bayley and charlotte are at ringside, obv .

oh yeah, the mania title match is a triple threat .

i had forgotten that .

apparently this angle started on facebook, because fuck television .

charlotte has instructed dana to fuck sasha up and make sure she doesn't make it to mania .

dana's gear's had a redesign, and it's actually quite nice now .

and sasha gets a rollup off absolutely shitting nothing for the pin .

good effort, dana .

sasha and bayley immediately fuck off, leaving charlotte to scream at dana on mic .

charlotte's going to break up with her because she's a useless shit .

so dana punches her in the face a bunch .

which has been coming for a while, honestly .

so yeah, dana is getting a solo career? .

that's cool .

it'll be nice to see her be anything more than an accessory .

also, she's got fucking huge crowd pops for beating the shit out of charlotte .

hit her music (which we haven't heard in a while), charlotte storms off .

but now, have a mawkish bit of inspiration porn as we announce the warrior award for the year .

it's eric legrand .

football player who broke his neck in a game .

which feels like it's the kind of thing where vince'd tell wrestlers to walk it off if they did it in the ring

.

but still .

now he's a motivational speaker .

so we get the standard story about how anyone can beat anything if they try hard enough and fight through the pain and regenerate your nerves through fucking wanting it enough .

(full disclosure: i have some problems with this narrative) .

besides, it should have gone to kris travis .

anyway .

later we have sami/jericho v owens/joe, and fallout from roman/taker last week .

but now, purple ropes .

but no austin on announce .

sadface .

it's a leadin tag match for the 5-way on 205 .

tjp/tozawa v kendrick/nese .

and for the record, this is the brian kendrick, not a bryan kendrick .

starts off with kendrick/tozawa in the ring, only for nese to immediately blind tag and coldcock him .

nevertheless, beautiful suicida on kendrick there .

weird pan out to neville watching this .

and replays of nese doing some of kendrick's tricks during the break .

ooh, beautiful strong style elbow to nese's face there .

nese sits there with tozawa in his shitty bodyscissors for a really uncomfortable length of time .

tozawa almost fights his way through a side waistlock to a tag through the power of HA .

tjp tags in, cole calls him the "Flim-Flam Flash" again .

it was forgivable the first time, michael .

i do love tj's moveset .

oh hey, i'm in the corner and you're running at me, i could just step out of the way and let you run into the ring post like a normal person, or i could JUMP OVER THE ROPES AND TAKE YOU DOWN WITH A TOP ROPE SPRINGBOARD DDT BECAUSE I'M TJ FUCKING PERKINS .

that aside, nese just threw tozawa into tjp, then pinned him off the distraction .

so that happened .

more on 205 .

later we have enzo/cass v sheamus/cesaro for the contendership, so now let's have charly interviewing gallows and anderson in a room made entirely of led screen with the raw banner on them .

the club's angle is hey why are you asking us about those dipshits why is every word out of your mouth not about us we're gonna fuck the world *walks off* .

sound interview .

but now, here's kevin owens .

in his new shirt .

which is the mania 2 logo, bot with a bunch of masking tape over 'wrestle' with KO on it .

i approve .

graphic to remind you that owens and jericho will be fighting over the Snickers United States Championship .

official belt of the united states of snickers .

but now, kevin has a mic and a spotlight .

it's apparently exactly a month since he murdered the concept of friendship .

so let's have another video package of that day in vegas, when all our dreams died .

and i still maintain that that screen shattered way more explosively than anyone there expected .

kevin helpfully clears up that he didn't betray his best friend, because he was a manipulative douchewad from the start .

but that's okay, because apparently chris was too .

so he had to fuck him over before he fucked him over right back .

...wow, that had a lot of vague pronouns and prepositions in it .

lady who did a languages degree, folx .

doesn't mean i can actually write .

although hurriedly writing vaguely relevant shit while being shouted at by a loud québécois man is oddly reminiscent of college .

so yeah, kevin's general thesis is that he's going to continue fucking jericho over until he goes away, because who needs friends when you have a large hawai'ian man named joe .

this match brought to you by snickers .

Snickers: Buy Our Confectionery, We Have So Many Conflict Peanuts To Unload. .

two advert breaks later, here are the face team .

wow .

i ust want all three of the other people to crowd joe out of the ring like the fuck are you doing here, you're not canadian .

fun fact: when an area has at least three canadians in a ten-foot square, it becomes sovereign territory .

tease owens/jericho, then immediately tag joe in .

standard .

so instead, chris is standing on the apron lambasting kevin .

aaaaand getting kicked in the face .

so that went well .

sami does a tope con giro onto kevin and joe, then does a big OW MY KNEE thing .

you can tell it's a work, because sami doesn't acknowledge real pain .

gets back in the ring, and then joe and kevin beat him up until the ref hits the dq .

sami spends some time in the coquina clutch while getting kicked in the face, until chris rescues him .

chris and kevin finally tussle, kevin almost ends up in the walls .

joe comes to the rescue, holds chris while kevin hits him for a while, then throws him into a popup bomb .

not gone well

.

and now we're back to mick and steph in the curtain room .

steph's offering to help him pick who to fire .

she's suggesting sami .

but hey, here's nia .

who is pissed about sasha being in the women's title match when she isn't .

steph applauds her ambition and gives her a match with bayley, so she can be all hey look i'm nice .

mick walks off to think .

limps through a corridor thinking, then roadmap mahal turns up to shout at him about how he shouldn't fire him .

and he wants an opportunity .

so mick's given him a match with roman to make him go away .

nooo .

fighting jinder is not going to put you over as a heel .

and now we're backstage (or possibly in a parallel dimension) with the new day advertising their new talk show .

which starts now, i guess

.

with special guest the big show .

with xavier singing his music .

and this show is, naturally, called .

new .

day talks .

they start asking big show about mania, then immediately stop for a word from their sponsors .

(new day pops) .

every time show starts talking, one of the new day talk over him with a general ice cream direction .

and then titus comes in blowing a whistle? .

i have no clue what the fuck is going on .

he's angry about the firing situation .

and angry at show because he didn't get to star in the new jetsons film? .

show is like um i have no control over those decisions .

titus storms off .

new day sign off with a moral about titus ruining everything .

so...that happened? .

or this root beer has gone bad .

one of the two .

in any case, to dial down the weirdness a bit, here's enzo amore .

hey, i said 'a bit' .

enzo has apparently got cesaro a gift .

it's a cuppa haters mug for his coffee .

enzo's put it on the ring post .

seems perilous .

ooooh, edgy gender role joke .

shut up, zo .

oh hey, he did .

instead we get cass doing an extended march madness riff .

sprinkle it with some references to local geography, people eat that shit up

.

fun fact #2: cesaro is still wearing kinesio tape all over that shoulder

.

i love how all of enzo and cass' double team moves are some variation on 'throw a small italian-american man at them' .

cesaro and sheamus are using a bunch of clean heel tactics in this, and corey is talking them up .

are they the heels in this match? .

they still don't feel like heels to me .

sheamus gets a lovely top rope crossbody off a blind tag, feels even more heel-but-not .

and suddenly anderson and gallows turn up and kick cass and sheamus in the head .

double dq? .

well, i guess they said they were going to take the spotlight .

(in this writeup, they said they were going to fuck the world, but hey) .

(to-MAY-to, AR-ti-choke) .

start wailing on everyone, finishing with a magic killer to cesaro .

their finisher to enzo was basically just gallows pushing him away .

but now, let's talk about strowman/taker/roman .

even better, let's have some videos .

of roman pissing off the wind and reaping a chokeslam .

apparently they made roman/taker official .

i really hope they use it to put him over as a heel .

but now mick shouts at the club backstage .

gallows calls him a nerd .

mick is like JESUS FUCK this is not the night to mess with me .

so he makes it a triple threat title match at mania .

kind of saw that coming .

but now, cut back to the arena and we have roman/jinder .

cole calls taker 'the original big dog' .

hate to break it to you, but i'm p sure the original big dog was, um, a big dog .

that's kind of how metaphors exist .

they tend to start off as something that actually happened .

the narrative behind this match is 'the boss is having a bad day, let's take it out on you' .

which i'm sure a detroit crowd can relate to .

lights dip and BONG, distracts roman and lets jinder beat him up a bunch and almost pin him .

not actually pin him, because it's jinder fucking mahal, but still .

and superman punch for the pin .

weird closeup of roman as his jaw bounces up and down like ayayayayayay .

thanks, edit team .

oh fuck, now he has a mic .

calling taker out .

because he's totally the kind of guy who'd respond to that .

cut for ads, and when we come back he has still "just" called taker out .

canon time .

but... .

instead we have hbk? .

oh hey, random wrestlemania-season nostalgia .

roman's face says 'i'm meant to be angry at you for being here but i'm also super stoked because you're shaun fucking michaels' .

such acting as dreams are made on .

cmon roman, dick on him, it'll be perfect for heel cred .

at least he's addressing it .

like hey shaun it's cool to see you but you are entirely not the undertaker please fuck away off .

shaun has words for him about how he's distracted and unfocused and the undertaker is already inside his mind .

roman's like yeah man whatever big dog .

shaun's like ok granted big dog but i'm SHAUN FUCKING MICHAELS so listen up u lil shit let me learn you a thing .

giving roman some tough love life advice .

roman's like the fuck do you know taker retired you and i'm gonna retire him .

[heel heat intensifies] .

and walks off .

okay, so they are turning him heel .

well .

i think so? .

he walks off up the ramp, announcers start talking, braun explodes out of nowhere to push roman (and almost the camera guy) off the stage .

thank you chants begin .

replay of the admittedly impressive arse-over-tip bump roman did down the ramp .

cut back to mick and steph in the curtain room .

with steph like see that's the kind of initiative we need .

raw under steph would be a lawless mad max wasteland .

mick is trying to stall, steph's like you have an hour do the thing or i will do it for you .

cut to the announcers talking about what a big thing this is .

but now, let's have a video package about austin .

not his usual package .

austin has a new, up-to-date package .

his old package was full of old stuff and kind of yellow-tinted .

package jokes aside .

this is a recap of everything since the punchterview .

i will miss austin aries, expert journalist .

but now we have austin's ass and its superlative credit rating .

up next, austin/daivari .

gee, can't imagine which way that'll go .

good lord austin, can we lose the disco yeti jacket .

it's not a good thing .

oh hey, ariya got here during the break .

cos fuck that guy .

austin gets out of a crooked headscissors by...doing a headstand, then jumping up and dropkicking daivari in the face? .

um...you do you, austin .

daivari focuses on attacking austin's bad eye, this is somehow not a dq .

austin also has the hang of doing suicide dives without smacking head-first into the barricade .

and spinning elbow for the win .

shocker .

so wait, what big matches do we have left? .

presumably they're gonna spin something .

in any case, let's has brockberg recaps from last week and this week and who the fuck cares week .

(which is every week, dpepnding who you ask)

.

and now a video about how cool emma was until we took her away and made her look like she was gonna be shit .

the return of emma, coming soon .

but everything else aside, here's show .

oh yeah, he's fighting titus over the fact that he was hired to be the villain in a jetsons film .

wrestling, everyone .

the surprisingly trim show is just wiping the floor with titus .

as you might expect .

chokeslam .

just fucking pin him already .

or do another one, that's cool too .

show clearly very angry about the whole jetsons voice acting thing .

third chokeslam for the pin .

and big show walks off .

you can tell it's a pointless segment when nobody involved says a fucking word .

and now women's history month, introduced by notable non-woman byron saxton

.

about billie jean king, who i'm not going to make jokes about because she's p great .

and we're not even gonna have talking head superstars talking about bjk .

just a mystery announcer .

but now we have sasha and bayley in the locker room, talking about the prospects of fighting nia .

some tension is growing between them .

bayley and sasha, that is .

plenty of tension already exists towards nia .

mania advert and basic maths remind me that mania weekend starts in FIVE FUCKING DAYS .

and i'm...what, 12 days behind? .

time to crack on .

but before anything of import, here's a recap video of owens/jericho earlier .

and now chris is in the locker room in his sparkly jacket .

random dude asks him what he's up to .

basically, he's going to expose kevin as a huge tool and then kill him at mania .

oh hey, apparently it's mike rohm .

chris is convinced he's tom phillips .

so yeah, next week we have the highlight reel with 'the real kevin owens' mike/tom has just made the list .

which makes a triumphant return .

thank fuck .

that was too good to lose .

but now for what i'm guessing is our main event, we have a young hispanic woman and six dancing tubes .

one of which she helps when it hasn't inflated properly .

awwwwwwwwww .

and her opponent, a large samoan woman with outstanding eye makeup .

oh christ, we're in brooklyn next week .

new york crowds are always either amazing or a nightmare .

speaking of brooklyn, anyone remember these two at takeover brooklyn II? .

this will not be as good .

i guarantee it .

corey casually throws in trump and microwaves .

edgy .

this is mostly just bayley getting a lot of shit beaten out of them .

and nia beats bayley into a corner until they ring the dq .

so satisying .

there's a gumshield in the ring, and i have no clue if either of these wear one .

but next, our real main event, an old man signing some papers .

after some recaps of the strowman situation .

apparently we finally have roman/braun next week as well .

but in the ring it's the woman herself, summoning her underling to fire a person .

mick is stalling, but has apparently had a thought .

i think i know where this is coming .

it's going to improve the show and mick's life .

oh hey, it's stephanie mcmahon .

who knew .

she's like oh hey not in your purview fuck off .

so instead, he's resorting to shouting at her .

and exalting the human rights of their employees .

and pulling out the bit where she swore she wasn't evil last year .

so she should leave because she's a terrible person and her and hunter are fucking their wrestlers over .

she starts full-evil ranting at him, he shouts her down, cue motorhead and the man himself .

(full disclosure: motorhead are not here in person) .

he's got his usual corporate smirk on .

mick's like oh hey i'm happy to talk to you i wasn't sure you existed any more .

hunter comes back like did you even look for me i'm running a business .

and he doesn't want a lawsuit just before mania, or he'd rip mick's leg off and beat him with it .

(actual quote) .

ripping into mick for being a nostalgic sideshow while he's creating the future .

and he's only here because steph likes him .

cm punk chants? .

not totally sure why .

god, i love hunter insulting people .

mick's letting it out a bit as well about how he doesn't like hunter .

dramatically pulls out his false teeth to make a point about authenticity .

hhh makes thinly-veiled threats to fire him, mick is basically ok with this .

so now he's threatening his children by extension .

he's giving mick one last chance to fuck off backstage and have an epiphany about how much he loves his job and his employers .

making no bones about how everyone here is a slave to their whims .

mick starts leaving, steph starts using him to insult the crowd .

bad move .

mick has stopped .

crowd goes wild .

hunter goes up to him, and we see what they saw .

mr socko returns, foley puts a mandible claw on hunter until steph drags him off and powerslaps him .

crowd are on fucking fire .

hunter rolls up his sleeves and advances on mick, hit seth's music .

he enters, crutch and all .

then dramatically drops it .

it's almost like the man the company always said would be fine for mania is fine for mania .

he runs into the ring, starts taking it to hunter, points at the sign dramatically, dropkicks him out of the fucking ring, crowd goes absolutely ballistic, good triumphs after all .

hunter picks up the convenient crutch he landed next to, heads menacingly into the ring, gets coldcocked anyway .

but then beats seth's bad knee with it until it bends .

dramatically removes the shirt .

and starts stamping on his bad knee, before locking in a reverse figure-four on it all accompanied by steph's unparalleled ringside shouting .

she is so much fun when she goes full evil .

refs pull hunter off (with some trepidation), so he just picks up the crutch again and resumes .

gives up after a few hits, then walks off .

and we fade on seth lying in the ring going AAAAAAH MY KNEE a lot .

that's what i get for the whole 'good triumphs after all' thing, then .

i forgot what company this was .

anyway, it being my usual joke aside, these painkillers have actually just kicked in .

so smackdown will follow, after a brief interlude where i see new colours and giggle at clouds .

see you all under the cut

------------------------------

well that was exciting .

new colours include 'blortch' and 'kalavine' .

so with those out of the way, let's sail into the bright blortch skies of SATURDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN! .

(hey, that's got a ring to it) .

we open on a flashback from talking smack, which you may have gathered i do not watch, so this is news to me .

it's aj shouting at shane backstage .

oh, so it's setting up the mania match nobody wanted .

the best possible ending will be just aj beating him into an absolute pulp so aj gets all the heel heat and shane gets a reason to stop pulling this self-promoting bullshit .

but let's set it up in a weird kayfabe-fuzzy way so it's all edgy and interesting .

shaky footage of aj going off at shane in the control room .

and now we're now .

with bryan on the phone helpfully informing us that miz and randy have things tonight, and mickie will be fighting .

aj appears to rant at him and ask where shane is .

bryan stands up to him and aj's like fuck i'm medically not allowed to hit you but imma murder our boss .

storms off, and now he's coming into the arena .

they don't want none .

but he most definitely wants some .

aj gets a mic, proceeds to just huff for a while .

[heavy breathing intensifies] .

crowd chants begin, he gets this pained look of fuck it guys i'm a heel .

he's telling us he's pissed at shane and bryan for not giving him the opportunity he deserved .

yknow, just in case you haven't been watching .

he's just generally pissed .

just emanating scorn .

and maintaining that he beat harper in that battle royal .

just in case you...*were* watching? .

aj joins in pointing out that randy should probably be getting arrested for arson .

which is true .

so angry he forgets how the word 'glue' goes .

apparently bryan eats kettle chips .

this episode of smackdown brought to you by... .

aj wants a conversation with shane tonight like fuck it my career's clearly already dead and buried .

double-edged sword on the announce table .

otunga's off filming (yay) but mauro's stuck in a blizzard (boo) .

so just tom and jbl .

later randy talks to bray, but now we have becky/nattie .

at least tom joined the smackdown team .

can you imagine if it was just jbl .

*horrified silence* .

so tom's doing lead commentary and everything feels a little bit more nxt .

nattie enters, and you remember how she had new gear that looked less shit? .

welp, it didn't last .

she has new gear again, but it's back to shitty sambuca-shots-at-an-Ann-Summers-party pvc .

becky immediately goes super aggressive, nattie honest to god tries to call a timeout .

so becky smacks her in the face .

valid .

becky does an stf, because angry becky has her own moveset .

cut to ads, come back just before nattie does a sitout powerslam on the floor .

ouch .

both of them breaking out their midseason upgrade angry movesets here .

sure, nattie, dropkick her in the back, why the fuck not .

Becky Lynch Kai v. Natalya Epyon .

becky counters a superplex attempt into a disarmher right next to the ropes like fuck you i'm irish, nattie taps .

so carmella immediately appears with her boo to kick them both in the head .

(she does the kicking, he's just eye candy) .

(but it's one of those weird finnish candies) .

.

cut to aj pacing around the arena car park, waiting for shane to arrive .

and from there to a recap package of cena hosting the kids' choice awards .

and just having the most fun .

god, but that man loves his job .

even getting sprayed with barrels of gunge, he's just like fuck yeah this is the life .

up next, extra special miztv .

but first, cut to dasha collaring carmella and guest backstage .

carmella defends her actions by saying fuck it, i thought everyone had a title shot at mania .

but now, cut back and miz is already on a roll .

does an enormous dramatic intro for himself and maryse .

and apparently they're going to expose how john and nikki are frauds .

fun fact #3: that's not even her real name, the lying bitch .

and as for him, he...oh, it is? well then, never mind .

cues a video from talking smack, in which he continues to rant about the elaborate lie john cena is apparently living

.

this is some outstanding ranting .

apparently cena is also controlling daniel bryan .

i love it when they just let miz off the chain, because damn can he freestyle .

ooh, maryse is getting a talking spot .

apparently there's some dangerous forbidden clip of total divas .

wow, this is the most words i've ever heard out of her weirdly-accented mouth .

apparently nikki scammed her out of a total divas contract .

she can clearly not freestyle, because miz is leading the fuck out of this section .

this is apparently the smackdown episode where we set up all the undercard .

matches for mania that we haven't had time to lead into yet .

won't be surprised if they set up show/shaq, despite neither being on this show .

miz and maryse are beign the biggest heels, but getting huge pops cos it's against cena .

john and nikki arrive, chase miz and maryse out of the ring .

nikki takes john's mic, retorts with how this is all a lie and maryse is a bitch and .

everybody hates her and hey i'm nikki bella i'm inspirational .

challenges maryse to a fight, john dutifully clears the furniture out of the ring behind her .

miz is like ummmmmm...no? .

oh hey that's all the time we have end of the segment .

except wait .

there's a bearded man of the hills .

like hey mike, fuck you, have more time .

this has not been even slightly extra special .

and apparently he wants to punch miz in the face .

which frankly, i can't believe he hasn't done yet .

fuck off bryan, he doesn't imitate your moves poorly .

the yes kicks were dumb as hell to begin with .

bryan is pissed that he contractually can't punch miz in the face .

but hey, he knows two people who can .

so he makes cena/bella v miz/maryse at mania, dubbed "The Ultimate Facepunching Extravaganza"

.

fuck 'wrestlemania', that's a way better name .

and cut to aj, still lurking in the parking area (which is clearly already full, but w/e) .

later randy has a talk, but first, alexa/mickie .

after a very brief women's history section that doesn't even have the generic announce voice .

sigh .

but yeah .

here's mickie .

with her entrance music WHICH YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE .

and recap videos of her kicking alexa's head off .

so is she turning face? .

cos i don't know if i can be bothered with face mickie .

i've just noticed how much both of these look like they've joined the star sapphire corps .

nattie hasn't, but she's turned up in her homemade star sapphire costume anyway

.

to clarify, she is not actually here .

match starts, alexa still has her shirt on for some reason .

she has too much aggression to bother with this 'ring gear' bullshit .

throws mickie onto the floor, stands there roaring fit to burst something .

mickie gets the initiative back, bridging fisherman suplex for two .

and alexa gets back to just beating the shit out of her .

revenge of the angry sparkle fairy .

does a chancery toss on mickie, because fuck wellness policies and the fact .

that you are barely five foot jumping, all things are possible in RAGE

.

tom says "Oh, Mickie James", is immediately sued .

mickie manages to get a counter in, sets up for the mickdt, alexa just yells some more and counters back .

resume the beating .

until a really sloppy mick kick from nowhere takes her down for the pin .

that was...weird .

not sure i got the point of that match .

alexa storms off with her belt, still shrieking .

and mickie stands there like w/e biatch .

hey, remember what i said about segments where nobody talks? .

announce shill bit, then back to aj haunting the garage .

renee turns up to be like um aj are you ok .

aj rants a bit, then a car comes in .

bearing the out-of-condition middle manager himself .

so aj immediately starts murdering him with every surface in there .

shane's classic signature move of 'receiving grievous bodily harm' .

aj puts his head through a car window .

i'm assuming it was gimmicked, but it's shane, so you never know .

renee and other manager guy whose name i forget run in to chase aj away and call in the medics .

gimmicked or not, nice scalp cut on shane .

cut to ads, then an immediate recap video of that whole bit .

back to the present, and the paramedics are triaging an incensed shane, who doesn't want to go to the hospital .

he eventually compromises on going to the trainers' room to get looked at .

treating it like a mafia gunshot wound .

cut back to tom and jbl like all due respect shane get help you fucking moron .

and cut to the locker room, where curt hawkins and the usos shout at aj .

and he gets his coat and leaves .

only to be waylaid by an angry daniel bryan .

and some police .

and bryan has finally snapped and fired aj .

whiiiiiich i can't see lasting .

cut to ads, then back to MORE FUCKING RECAPS of the same thing .

i hear they do wrestling on this show .

jbl is criticising the business sense of firing aj right before mania .

which is fair .

but now, let's get some mojo rawley all up in this .

and recap video of dolph talking shit at him last week .

oh yeah, this is the bit where we are all required to pretend to give a shit about the ATGMBR .

fuck typing out the full name every time frankly .

pause for an ad spot for the jetsons film .

tom with an air of i can't believe i'm being paid to talk about this crap .

and the match begins .

mojo takes a moment to weirdly rub his pecs before punching dolph .

followed by a picture-perfect fallaway slam .

so dolph goes over to shout at jbl instead .

mojo drags him into the ring by his shitty topknot .

so at least that made him take it out .

some good has come of this segment .

mojo keeps throwing dolph over the ropes to make a point .

cos they're gonna be in a thing .

or so they tell me .

so eventually dolph just goes bugger this and walks out for the countout .

this is the most unfocused episode of smackdown i've ever seen, and that's saying a lot .

segment ends, again with no words .

and hey, yet more recaps of the aj situation .

including video from the weirdly convenient camera inside the car shane's head went into .

aaaaaand there goes that last shred of suspension of disbelief .

let's have a galaxy quest or possibly hall of fame segment .

reiterating the warrior award thing .

finally they tell me where we are for this .

go steelers .

(see, i remembered that) .

cut to neville advertising 205 by saying how he's going to murder his subjects .

but now, here comes randy to do something and probably make a snake pun .

and/or stare vacantly into the middle distance .

man's multitalented .

gets on the turnbuckle, refuses to do the pretty until the crowd pop enough .

and the new #1 contender for the divas' championship... .

oh hey, he's kicking off with an extended snake metaphor .

who the fuck could have seen that coming .

randy helpfully explains how this was his dastardly plan all along .

just in case there was too much subtlety in this storyline for you .

really extensive rationalisation for BURNING A MAN'S FUCKING HOUSE DOWN here .

and also desecrating a church .

and burning the devil's sister .

all of these are maybe not things you should be boasting about .

hate to break it to you, randy, but he who fights monsters etc. etc. .

apparently at mania he's going to take everything from bray .

which i thought he might have accomplished when he, yknow, BURNT HIS FUCKING HOUSE DOWN .

wyatt cut, and bray is in a smoky void .

apparently abigail is still fine while her disciples live on .

good to know

so she has bestowed all her power to bray, who's now totally unfettered by wordly things like barns and chairs .

and now he's anointing himself with the burnt earth of abigail's grave .

if this was anyone else, this might seem unusual .

does the follow the buzzards pose, screams to the heavens, wyatt cut, end segment .

up next, alpha/usos, with nobody talking over the graphic that says so .

so i'm forced to assume bray ripped tom and jbl's souls from their bodies during that cut .

cut back to the arena, everyone in pittsburgh is dead .

or a snickers advert .

that's good too .

aww, jbl's fine .

but now we're talking about dean/baron, apparently .

fuck this editing, seriously .

up next but NOW but first but before that but NOW .

recap of the forklift situation last week .

and cut to baron, who's actually inside for once .

dasha turns up to ask if he crossed a line .

baron's like fuck you dasha i don't believe in lines you're not my real mum .

i'mma go fuck up dean ambrose some more and walks off .

tom can apparently guarantee a medical update on shane immediately after this next match .

which makes no logical sense whatsoever, but w/e .

in any case, here are jordan and gable .

who haven't had enough time to talk lately

i miss them being adorable dorks/the best boyfriends on nxt .

and here are the usos, being thug af .

although their hoodies are claiming they're in fivestar .

weirdest tribute band ever .

the match starts, jey takes off his shirt because a) we need to be able to tell them apart and b) fuck that guy, he should be grateful he gets to have trousers .

cut away mid-match to people walking a staggering shane through the corridors and trying to convince him to go to the hospital .

well, that was totally worth taking up 75% of the screen with .

the match is mostly just the usos being dicks and alpha trying to sell them as legitimate competitors .

latest update: shane is still refusing to go to the hospital, because read the first word after the colon again .

loooooooong rest hold section .

do a thing, jimmy .

jordan tries to get up, jimmy slams him back down and resumes the long-ass headlock .

more exciting video of shane walking around while semi-conscious .

dramatically turns back towards the arena .

apparently he's heading for the ring .

meanwhile in the actual sodding match, chad has tagged in and resumed his quest to suplex the entire world .

in his heart's deepest dreams, chad gable suplexes the sun .

jimmy knocks chad out of the setup for that electric chair bulldog, then superkicks jason so jey falls on top of him for the pin .

holy shit, jey uso won a match .

mark your calendars .

cut to shane, who's made it to the cntrol room and found a mic, despite everybody's protests .

comes out onto the stage, says he'll fight aj at mania, end of the show .

i get that they were trying to make that look all organic and shooty and cool, but...sigh. .

that episode was really weird, and it's not giving me great hopes for the blue side of mania .

in any case, cynicism aside, i am now only 11 days behind, with 6 days until mania weekend .

bring it the fuck on

[hairterminator]

http://blog.hair-terminator.com/charming-outlook/

The 20 Greatest Trainers Of All Time

#Quarterback", "#AssociationFootball #http://blog.hair-terminator.com Some trainers blaze a trail and burn-out. Some never go away. Take the Chuck Taylor All Star: introduced 100 years ago, in 1917, today Converse still sells around 270,000 pairs every day. So if any sneaker deserves the label

#Quarterback", "#AssociationFootball #http://blog.hair-terminator.com Some trainers blaze a trail and burn-out. Some never go away. Take the Chuck Taylor All Star: introduced 100 years ago, in 1917, today Converse still sells around 270,000 pairs every day. So if any sneaker deserves the label of a ‘classic’, it’s those, closely followed by the other 19 named here. Sure, none of these lists will ever be objectively ‘correct’, but in judging the cream of the crepes – from feats in feet-protective engineering to cultural icons – longevity, mixed with style and practicality are often the common denominators in determining the greatest trainers of all time. Oh, and a whole lot of white leather…

Nike Cortez

The first trainer ever designed by Nike and a key part of its early success, the Cortez was the brainchild of Olympic coach and sneaker demi-god Bill Bowerman. Introduced as a running shoe during the 1972 Games in Munich, the all-American colours and revolutionary construction helped the company coast to victory and into Hollywood films, most famously as the pair Tom Hanks laced up in Forrest Gump. Originally, Nike founder Phil Knight wanted to call the sneakers the Aztec, but rival Adidas (which already made the Azteca Gold spikes) threatened to sue: “Bowerman took off his cap, put it on again, rubbed his face,” wrote Knight in his book Shoe Dog. “‘Who was that guy who kicked the shit out of the Aztecs?’ he asked. ‘Cortez,’ I said. He grunted: ‘Okay. Let’s call it the Cortez.’”

New Balance 998

Introduced in 1983 as the premium edition of the market’s first $100 running shoe, the 998’s streamlined (for New Balance, anyway) shape, luxe materials and split-colour midsole made it an instant icon and brought the brand out of its trainers-for-posh-dads phase. (Related: Iconic Men’s Trainers Worth Owning)

Common Projects Achilles Low

The new classic, the Common Projects Achilles, was dreamed up on two separate continents at the same time. New York-based art director Prathan Poopat and Italian creative consultant Flavio Girolami fired design ideas back-and-forth across the Atlantic. Eventually, the pair settled on the zenith of simplicity: a solid white leather, low-top sneaker with a subtle gold serial number on the heel. (Related: The 6 Best Minimalist Trainer Brands)

Nike Huarache

Yes, they’ve since been hijacked by shuffling lads with bad haircuts, but the Nike Air Huarache was a bold, futuristic shape upon its release in 1991, and somehow hasn’t aged a minute. It looks a bit like someone stuck two trainers together, but the shoe’s water skiing-inspired fit (Tinker Hatfield was really into water sports, apparently) means it still looks like little else around. (Related: Why It’s Time To Embrace ‘Ugly’ Trainers)

Converse Jack Purcell

The most famous badminton shoe in the world, the Jack Purcell – named after the Canadian player who became world badminton champ in 1933 – is now a men’s wardrobe essential. You don’t need to bother whacking a shuttlecock around to make them work either, as many greats like Messrs Dean and McQueen proved throughout the years. Just team the signature ‘smile’ marking on the toe with a pair of chinos for a look that serves an ace every time.

Adidas Superstar

Forever linked to pioneering rap group Run D.M.C. (and the cool one million dollars they got from Adidas to wear them), the shell-toe and contrast stripes marked out the shoe as an instant hit. Originally made famous by basketball legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the Superstar became the only trainer to be seen in in the late eighties and early nineties for kids who wanted to spin around on their backs on a busted cardboard box. In 2015 Adidas claimed to be still selling 15 million pairs a year – how’s that for staying power?

Nike Air Force One

Streetball legend and chunky, all-white work of art. We’ll let Nelly’s 2002 ode, ‘Air Force One’, take over here: “I said give me two pairs, ‘cause I need two pairs. So I can get to stompin’ in my Air Force Ones, big boys stompin’ in my Air Force Ones.” Thanks, Nelly.

Vans Era

Introduced in 1975 as the Vans #95, the Era quickly became a go-to shoe for the burgeoning skate community in the brand’s home state of California. More than four decades on, the kick still offer the same much-needed grip and versatility thanks to its padded collar and signature waffle outsole.

Reebok Classic

Beloved UK Garage icon and one of the comfiest trainers ever produced, Reebok’s Classic range has kept things simple for more than 30 years. Intricate panelling, a jagged tread with gum finishing and a padded lining made the Classic a trainer for the gym that you wanted to wear outside, way before the athleisure trend.

Adidas Gazelle

The only Adidas shoe to come close to meeting Stan Smith’s ubiquity. The endless colourways and pure wearability of the Gazelle have seen it favoured by everyone from the football casuals of the eighties, to Britpop coke-heads in the nineties, to every cool, gallery-loving Instagrammer since.

Air Jordan I

In 1984, Michael Jordan’s barn-storming final year of college basketball saw him sign a bumper $2.5m (£2m) endorsement contract with Nike. Everyone thought the Oregon brand had lost its mind, but the next year he was Michael Jordan, and Nike brought out his own signature shoe. The Air Jordan I lacked the tech of Tinker Hatfield’s later models but had the instantly recognisable design of an icon ready to spill off the court and onto the street.

Chuck Taylor All Star Hi

Chuck Taylor All Stars are to sneakers what Levi’s is to denim; a bona fide icon that still shifts at a rate of roughly 100 million pairs a year. While they’re totally out of place on the basketball courts they once dominated, for fans of white T-shirts, blue jeans and classic style, the high-top version will always be a winner. (Related: 10 Iconic Men’s Shoes & Boots)

Reebok Workout

The first shoe to jump on the aerobics trend in the eighties, the Reebok Workout was the trainer that helped the Bolton-born brand overtake Nike (even if it was just for a little while). The Classic’s beefier older brother is wider and meaner, leaving dancercise classes well behind, and are now more likely found on the feet of (fairly anti-aerobic) rapper Rick Ross.

Onitsuka Tiger

The trainer favoured by The Bride in Kill Bill came to the West from Japan thanks to Nike’s Phil Knight, whose business started solely distributing Tiger sneakers to athletes on the West Coast. The shoe may never have found the ubiquity of Nike’s greatest shoes despite its vast colour selection but, having not changed much since their 1952 introduction, they still feel like a unique piece of throwback style.

Asics Gel-Lyte

Gel cushioning and shock-absorbing insoles helped make the Asics’ Gel-Lyte range an enduring favourite for fans of high performance, functionality, and an endless array of mix-and-match colours and textiles.

Vans Old Skool

The Old Skool debuted in 1977 as the catchy Style #36 and became the first skate shoe to incorporate leather into its design with the now-iconic ‘jazz stripe’, itself starting life as random doodle by founder Paul Van Doren. It’s rather less throwaway now, having successfully transitioned from skate staple to the off-duty shoe for everyone who’s ever worked in the creative industry.

Adidas Samba

Designed in 1950 with indoor football in mind, the Samba’s design has barely changed because it hasn’t needed to: leather upper, contrast accents, gum outsole, suede overlays. Along with the Stan Smith, the Samba is possibly the quintessential distillation of the Adidas design ethos – evoking hardwearing practicality and timeless style. (Related: This Year’s Biggest Men’s Trainer Trends)

Nike Air Max

When Tinker Hatfield designed the Air Max back in 1987, he was inspired by the Centre George Pompidou in Paris. “It’s almost punk,” Hatfield said of the building in the Netflix docu-series Abstract. The exposed heel-bubble (the invention of ex-aeronautical engineer M. Frank Rudy) that featured in the Air Max 1’s sole drove crazy on release – they thought it was going to explode.

Puma Clyde

It’s funny what a bit of gold-leaf lettering can do for you. Introduced in 1973 for legendary NBA player Walt ‘Clyde’ Frazier, at the time they exemplified Frazier’s colourful style and quickness. Today the model is relatively low-profile (in both silhouette and attitude) in comparison to what fellow basketball shoes have become. The cursive ‘Clyde’ typography by the final eyelet will always excite fans of the original sports style icon, as will the shoe’s historic ties to the fledgling punk and hip-hop scenes. (Related: The 15 Best Trainers Of 2016)

Adidas Stan Smith

When it comes to creating sneakers that deliver on mass hype, you can always count on Adidas. Launched in 1963 as a tennis shoe, the Stan Smith was originally branded the ‘Robert Haillet’, after the French tennis player. When Haillet retired, the company replaced him with Smith. After two years off the shelf, Adidas brought back the all-white kick in 2014 and, in turn, created the ultimate fashion shoe. While you won’t find a single tour player in tennis who wears these now, the Stan Smith has been reinvented without being redesigned. The sign of a true icon. (Related: The 5 Most Versatile Leather Shoes A Man Can Own)

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