#anyways I cant help falling in love as you can tell
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lorebird · 2 months ago
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In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.
#my art#gravity falls#Stanford pines#ford pines#bill cipher#comic#eye strain#TIME TO DUMP EVERY ONE OF THE 27483949 THOUGHTS IVE HAD INTO THE TAGS BABY#OK!! SO!!!!#I feel like Ford would wonder why he and Stan (being identical twins) aren’t. yk. identical. shouldn’t Stan have polydactyly too?#as a kid he would dream about secretly being nonhuman and being whisked away to a fantastical world full of people like him#finally free of new jersey‚ finally somewhere he belongs#a lot of this disconnect from humanity came from utterly failing at social interactions while others (including stan) navigated them easily#the feeling waned after Stan was kicked out and he didn't have that direct comparison but it never left#then out in the wilderness of gravity falls‚ his isolation and immersion in Weirdness dragged it back up to the forefront#he deserves to have a breakdown over questioning his own nature. as a treat <3#color symbolism time bc I have a problem and use it at every available moment!!! blue and yellow get more vivid#the further from humanity the subject is#bill is entirely made w pure rgb blue and yellow (+ approximately 2674835 textures/layers/blending modes. I reached 150+ layers. help)#I like the idea that he would appear to ford like pure math considering hes a geometrical motherfucker and how the rest of the mindscape wa#I tried to mostly use trigonometry and related stuff for the Math Greebling. as well as fractals i love you forever fractals#MORE SYMBOLISM:#the grid-ish diamond pattern in all of the mindscape bgs (and elsewhere) is a penrose diagram of spacetime#which shows other universes on the other sides of black holes#SOMEONE ASK ME ABOUT MY EUCLYDIA HEADCANON LATER. IVE DUMPED ENOUGH DUMB HCS IN THESE TAGS ALREADY#BUT I THINK ITS VERY FUN#anyways. fuckt up guys n their egos influencing how they view humanity. bill tells ford hes as human as they come bc he was so easily foole#ford cant reconcile with his humanity bc of a failure to perform in one area#and then the immense guilt and shame over what hes done <3#I have So many ford characterization thoughts. no man nor god can stop me
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bunnyboy-juice · 5 months ago
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blah blah blah blah blah
#i have real thoughts rn i am just so overwhelmed with feeling that this is all that can come out#tldr: i wish i could just spend my time traveling and treating women how they Deserve to be treated (well. loved)#thinking about how many people i see who are so deeply sad#thinking about how many ppl ive had a positive impact on even if we ended on terrible terms#thinking about how many more people i could help if i just had the resources ....#thinking about how fucked the psychiatric industry is and how so many therapists suck#thinking about how i actually love being the mommy therapist friend a lot of the time and my limits surrounding that really just come from-#-the fact i Dont have the resources to do this for everyone bc i also have to manage other things in life and work and such#thinking about how if i could i would actually do free emotional labor like. all the time.#thinking about how much it sucks i cant do this#thinking about how much i want to hold every sad girl i see on my dash and let them cry into my arms until they cant anymore#thinking about how much i love my friends#thinking about how much I love...... everyone i meet#not in the like Romantic way but in the “oh hello. you crossed my path. i love you. i love you. i love you. thank you for being alive” way#thinking about all the people who have harmed me and how i Still feel so much love for all of them#thinking of the strangers who have been both rude and kind to me and how much i think of them. how deeply i hope they're still alive.#it..... hurts to love this much ngl#but pushing it down feels worse and im full of this feeling of tender frustration????? because of it#i love that i have so many people who allow me to love them and love me in return#i want to reach through the screen and kiss every follower and mutual and person i follow on the forehead and tell them I love them#i wish i could express more love for people w/o them falling In love with me or being weirded out thinking im In Love w/ them....#i wish i could express better that its not that im aromantic but that i just have so much love at my baseline that its hard for me to-#-Fall in love unless we constantly are talking and communicating and like. working to that together without sounding like a jerk or like im+#+a saint. im not a saint. im not. i just love you. ):#ANYWAY sorry for all those feelings if i didnt get them out i was gonna explode#that also definitely wasnt really a tldr
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widevibratobitch · 9 months ago
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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol#anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly#but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size#acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years#and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating#(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive#when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well#and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom#and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao#like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is#anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333#god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by#but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr#anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.
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andragoras-in-vanity · 3 months ago
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remember being a teen and watching shit like soul eater and kimono jihen and thinking god damn i wish I had a perpetually exhausted but badass mentor to help me get through things?
well now im 27 and im the perpetually exhausted mentor with bedhead and a slight alcohol problem to my 15 year old cousin and im gonna tear my hair out about not being able to just let her stay for a bit because i know it doesnt matter fuck all what i say to her dad, shes still gonna be treated like shit just because shes a moody teen with undiagnosed add and an autustic brother who constantly talks over everyone. i suddenly need a cigarette.
#like he was going on about shes doing bad in school because she sleeps late and all she needs to do#is got to bed early!!! reset her internal clock!!#BRO IM LITERALLY RIGHT HERE AT 27 STILL ONLY FALLING ASLEEP AT 5AM AND WAKING AT NOON BEVAUSE THATS NOT A THING YOU CAN CONTROL#ESPECIALLY WITH ADD/ADHD.#IM LITERALLY DIAGNOSED I CAN TELL YOU YOURE WRONG AND I CAN EVEN SOURCE THE ARTICLES THAT EXPLAIN WHY#FUCKING ARE YOU KIDDING ME#im still mad cause i sat with with poor kid while she tried to keep from bawling her eyes out because she made a snarky comment#about her brother talking about his coin collecting (and to be clean its not jus tthat he cant understand social cues he just literally#never stops making noise. we all know he cant control it but we also all know its because his parents denied he was autistic until he was 21#despite the fact he stopped maturing at 11. we love him.to death but oh my god i cant handle it for two visits a year#Of course his sibling feel like they live in an insane asylum)#like yeah it was a rude comment but fuck can you blame her?????? when shes silenced because he talks over everyone then gets awkward#because she has no idea what to say when she DOES get the chance to speak of course shes going to resent him#ALSO NOT TO MENTIONT HE FACT SHES CHINESE AND WERE ARE ALL VERY VERY WHITE#SHES GOT OTHER SHIT SHE SHOULD BE IN THERAPY FOR#DO NOT MAKE IT MORE COMPLICATED FOR HER BY BRINGING ACTUAL SYMPTOMS AND HER SCHOOLING INTO THIS#My god i hate academics like the world does not end because you failed a math class. i dropped out at 16 and all the useful skills i have#i gained after the world opened up when i left and i wasnt being told no thats not on a standardized test you cant do that#im much fucking happier and frankly intelligent than the rest of my family thats wasted time on universities#and like being happy is what matter#why would you wsnt her to be “sucessful” if she isnt also happy#like if school fucking sucks for her then why send her to a rich white private school and fucking SUMMER SCHOOL#imo thats just abuse#like the graded education system is inherently abusive anyway but its worse when its pushed on her like that#i need to move so we have room out east for her to come stay and maybe do some classes free of them#but i dont work and cant drive so i cant help her#hell i can barely take care of myself#but im just so fucking mad on her behalf and she doesnt deserve to feel this way#its happened twice in the three days shes been here#just they all need therapy but they need to fucking listen to her ans i know she wont even feel okay speaking up
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simplyreveries · 10 months ago
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I ADORE YOUR WRITING!!
what about a reader who’s unknowingly flirting with the twst wonderland cast (specifically savanclaw, octanaville and diasomnia) because of culture differences and species differences?
e.g petting their ears, giving them gifts, smiling with teeth (bc for moray eels that’s how they mate 👀)
OR fem reader who has her period and some of the twst students can smell it I LITERALLY HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT THIS 😭😭😭😭
OMLL I APPRECIATE ITTT!!! sorry for the wait!!! i chose some from each dorm bc of my character limit btw!!
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azul ashengrotto
despite how much azul continues to do his best to learn about life on land… relationships are certainly difficult for him to understand sometimes considering how long he has spent his life in the sea and though there are many similarities between merpeople… there are still some differences. once azul is rather close to you he does become unintentionally— clingy with you. (when you two officially get together that's another story) but he has a habit of wanting to lean close to you or have a hand on you in some way, like on the small of your back when showing you something in the mostro lounge.
so needless to say, he is in love with any sort of touch from you he takes that as some sort of hope and sign that you reciprocate how he feels haha. jade and floyd tease him ALL the time about it especially when he was struggling to keep his cool-headed composure after you once gave him a hug after he did something to help you once.
like I've said azul really doesn't think about it or even try to be this way around you he just does aljdfajdkhf. he’ll feel like a smitten fool as he sits in the vip lounge as he's doing papers and just think about how you playfully linked your arm around his to bring him somewhere. small things like that are actually quite big to him when it comes down to the differences.
jade leech
he's aware you probably don't know that you're unknowingly flirting with him, but he finds it amusing and plays along with you, nevertheless. he thinks it's cute that you don't know and all the more enticing, you’ll find him chuckling, trying to hide his grin with his gloved hand “oh my, I didn't know you liked me that much fufu” he’d say. you can't help but feel confused as to what he finds so interesting… like you literally just yawned.
it'll take him a while to actually tell you what it means since he finds the obliviousness to be quite cute. you only put two and two together when he tells floyd about what you did right in front of him and the two laugh about it. now you've got floyd teasing u about it..
like azul he is a little more affectionate just in a different more. in a less obvious fashion, though there definitely have been a few occasions where he likes to bring your hand to his lips and see your reaction, he finds it so amusing. he always has his teethy grin plastered on his face.
leona kingscholar
he hates the way he can always tell when you're wearing cologne or perfume and he hates that he likes it as well, he may or may not be a bit addicted to your scent. he literally can tell if you're near just because he knows the damn fragrance you use.
if you two are particuarly close... like him falling asleep around you and such. if you happen to pet his head and his ears, he immediately shoots you this look then mumbles something before being too tired to do anything about it or give you some retort. he just lets it happen... he does enjoy it anyway. slowly he kinda doesnt realize how clingy he can get with you because of it. he becomes a little needy and wanting more attention from you. he cant help it.... i mean you basically just showed him that you're fine with it anyways.
leona seems to be someone who can get pretty possessive, unintentionally too over you. kind of territorial, like if you're someone he has eyes for then he doesn't expect others to really get in the way of that.
malleus draonica
malleus is not only a fae but a pretty sheltered one too, I’d think he’d take almost anything from you as a sign of you being completely infatuated with him as he is with you. you could offer split your ice cream or invite him out somewhere, show any sort of interest in him as he talks about gargoyles as he’s doing single club activities. the one time you asked curiously and wanted to touch his horns, he’d be searching for the loveliest jewel to bestow you for your wedding day.
speaking of jewels… he gifts to you a lot especially after you give him anything first (it could be a cool rock you found) and he’d be so smitten and glad to reciprocate that by giving you earrings, rings, necklaces etc. and when you accept them even though you're not exactly fully understanding why he takes it even more as a sign of you accepting his advances.
after taking any of your little acts of being somewhat kind to him and he’s already so deeply into you, lilia would certainly be someone who hears just all about it. i think he would only feel happy for malleus, as it appears he must’ve found the right one. he is just supportive of malleus and is simply overjoyed to know he has some little human that makes him so happy.
lilia vanrouge
he has lived long enough and in different places to understands human courting's and more so than someone like malleus. he knows how different it is, trust me he is fully aware, but he thinks it's amusing. lilia pretends to take it the wrong way and watch you get all confused, when he's just being playful.
just cant help that he finds it so adorable when you unknowingly show him affections as a fae would in his culture. even just being slightly affectionate with him is enough to have him giggling and warning you to be careful to what fae you do that to. they do tend to take very kindly towards any affections and gifts!
lilia will straight up tell you though too, you could gift him and give him something neat you found or made, and he'd look up at you with a stupid grin like "kfufu... i accept your love, dear" NO???. he still holds onto anything from you with the utmost joy.
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seung-mong · 5 months ago
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everyone adores you (i hate that i do too) - kim seungmin
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includes: seungmin x reader, friends to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers?? (kinda academic rivals vibe) college au, soft dom! seungie, everyone knows they r in love except them, kinda slow burn? idk, fluff, angst, quick vanilla smut scene at the end, unprotected sex, possessive seungmin, creampie oopsie woopsie, felix is lowk seungmin's downfall lmao
a/n: the people have chosen, thank u for those who voted on the poll!! i know this is so ridiculously late but ive been in a writer's funk lately and ive just been so unmotivated #rant anyway i hope you guys like this one:') chan x hybrid felix x reader up next?? :00
wc: 12k YAPPING ofc my longest fic is of my husband #seungminlover #myMan
"there's nothing i can do for you, mr. kim. you failed to submit the third reflection essay. i have been considerate with your other late submissions..." the middle aged professor sighs, bringing a hand to his forehead and massaging his temples in frustration.
seungmin's hands wrap tighter around the strap of his bag, nylon almost burning against his palm due to the friction. "mr. park," he almost whines, leaning forward in his chair.
seungmin's desperate. he needs to pass this class, a prerequisite to all of his majors. he'll be damned if he takes his classes later than everyone else. "please, there must be something i can do. anything for extra credit. i really really need to pass this class." his voice slightly breaks, so close to tears. he can feel the red hot embarrassment that washes over him at the thought of having to explain why he cant enlist in the same classes as his friends.
he's never gonna hear the end of it when he tells his parents, always hard on his ass about biting off more than he can chew and he's always shrugged them off. how is everything so different now? in highschool he was juggling acads, being president of the student council, being in choir, dance, band, and the debate team. and now? four classes and a stupid glee club and hes falling behind.
his worst fear.
the older man swallows thickly, obviously uncomfortable at his student's sudden show of vulnerability. "mr. kim, i really want to help you. but im afraid there's no extra work i can give you to help you raise your grade.
seungmin shakes his head, slumping deep in his seat.
"normally i'd offer that you could check some papers and-"
"i'll do it!" seungmin yells, almost jumping out of his seat.
"but another student has already offered to be my teaching assistant for this term for extra credit as well.... unless you could convince them to split the workload... id consider raising your grade."
"sir, anything! who do i have to convince?" seungmin lets out a sigh of relief. and he thought all hope was lost.
"miss y/l/n. do you know her?"
fuck. all hope is lost.
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you huff as you push open the heavy metal doors to your apartment building, canvas bag filled to the brim with papers you're supposed to check. the weight is heavy on your shoulder, strap digging uncomfortably into your skin. the sting lingers as you waddle over to your apartment locker, dropping the bag as you dig into your coat pocket for your keys.
"oh, y/n! im glad i caught you." you turn around to see a kind face smiling at you from the foot of the stairs, long blonde hair tied somewhat neatly to keep strands away from his neck. stubborn clumps of hair fall over his forehead, sticking to the skin in a thin sheen of sweat.
"hyunjin?" you squeal, leaving all your bags right there on the floor as you run towards your childhood friend. your arms wrap around his neck as he laughs, arms coming up to wrap around your waist. you nearly knock him off his feet from the force that you throw yourself at him, but he cant blame you. it has been way too long.
"but... what are you doing here? i thought you were still in paris?" you chuckle, breathless as you pull apart from him.
"non!," he teases, but his smile quickly shifts. "due to some, ah- unfortunate circumstances, i had to return home a little earlier than i had planned," he shrugs, grabbing your arm and hooking it with his.
"oh cut the bullshit, hwang." you laugh, pulling him towards your locker. "tell me what happened," you groan, bending down to pick up your bag. hyunjin, ever the gentleman, quickly reacts from beside you, taking it away from you before slinging it over his own shoulder. "tell me what really happened, hm? it's me." you huff, punching him lightly on the shoulder.
he smiles sadly at you, shaking his head. he knows he cant lie to you. "how about we catch up over a cup of coffee, huh? my, ive been looking all over campus for you and when we finally meet after three years you dont even invite me in?" he pouts at you.
you roll your eyes at his dramatics. nice to know he hasnt changed that about himself. dare you say paris has only fed his dramatic flare? "let's go have some coffee somewhere else then, my apartment's kinda messy right now. oh! have you told felix you're back? you guys are... okay now, right?" you're careful to watch his expression at the mention of his past lover.
"no, he doesnt know im home. it kinda defeats the whole purpose of the surprise, you know?" he retorts, watching you with a fond smile as you shove your phone and keys back into your pockets. "and yes. felix and i are alright, thank you for asking."
"well, i'm sure he'd love to see you again. i know where he's working. maybe we could drop by for some drinks?"
hyunjin hums thoughtfully at that, chuckling a bit once you push open the damned metal door. "i guess it wouldnt hurt to say hello? besides. we have been... talking again."
"oh is that so?" you feign disinterest, eyes trained on the leaves that crunch under your feet.
he hums once more, squinting when he looks up, the sun beaming against his face. how he's missed its' warmth. paris was often gloomy. "we discussed possibly trying again." he says calmly, sighing with content.
you falter, "that might be good. ive always known you guys still loved each other! besides, you guys were young and stupid."
"that we were." hyunjin laughs. "well how about you and... ah- he who must not be named?"
you tense a little at that, opting to play it off with a shrug. "havent seen him around much, actually."
"well that's odd. you three were the only ones from our highschool to pass SNU and you guys dont keep in touch?"
"well i dont keep in touch with people from highschool much." you bite back.
"well how about me and felix?" he challenges.
"yea. just you two."
"arent you two in the same major?"
"we have different schedules. never aligns."
"but yuna and lia said-"
"i just dont see seungmin much, alright? that's that!" you groan, shoving your hands into your pockets.
"oh my dear y/n, nothing has changed! have you tried to patch things up with him? after all we were, hm what did you say, ah- young and stupid?"
"well he certainly was." you mumble, and hyunjin bursts out laughing. he throws an arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer against his side. "god, i've missed you."
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felix absolutely adores his job. he gets to help bake in the kitchens in the morning, and then he gets to make such fun little drinks while listening to music he chooses. he loves his coworkers, and his schedule is flexible, what with the manager knowing how most of his staff are all college students. the one thing he hates though? dealing with rude customers.
"i apologize, sir. our drinks are served in plastic cups as most of our customers dont finish their drink here, it's easier to take out in case you need to leave in a hurry." felix can feel the sweat start to form at his hairline, trickling slowly down his forehead as his cheeks twitch in a forced smile.
"well if i knew you served it in plastic cups, i never would have ordered!" the middle-aged man in front of him yells, eyebrows raised. students in the cafe have started to look over, trying hard to be discreet. some look annoyed, others clearly show how they feel sorry for felix.
felix tries his best to keep his smile, but he can feel anger and annoyance rise in him like hot water boiling deep in his gut.
"what the fuck is the difference??" he wants to scream, grab the stupid plastic cup from his stupid chubby fingers and throw it right in his stupid ugly face.
"im sorry sir, is there some kind of problem here?" a calm voice calls from behind the man, who turns around in surprise.
seungmin stands with his hands in his pockets, a small smile on his lips. he's dressed in nothing fancy, a university hoodie and some sweatpants. he's only supposed to catch up with felix as he busies himself around the cafe after all. his hair is tucked neatly in his cap, the perfect image of your average college student.
felix swears he's an angel sent from the heavens.
"this is none of your business, kid." the man snorts disgustingly, waving a chubby finger in seungmin's face.
"well, actually this is a public space and you're holding up the line. so yea, it kinda is my business. besides, you're on university grounds, i have every right to be here as a student." seungmin says coolly, taking a step towards the counter so he's able to somewhat position himself in between felix and this gross ugly man.
"listen, i'm a paying customer, so-"
"and the staff has the right to refuse service to anyone unless on the basis of race, religion, or ethnicity- isn't that right, felix?"
and its like suddenly felix has found his voice. he stands a little taller, leaning forward to get closer to the man's face. "that's right."
"and you're not refusing to serve this man because hes white or anything, right?" seungmin eggs him on, throwing the man a somewhat bored look.
"no. its because hes an asshole."
"hey-" the man steps forward, hands raised.
"well you heard him!" seungmin cuts the man off before he can continue, fully stepping in front of felix now. "if you dont leave within the next ten seconds, i'm calling security. they take peace and order on school grounds very seriously, you know?"
the man huffs, turning around and slamming the door behind him so hard that the little bell that jingles near the doorframe rattles wildly seconds after he's left.
"i dont know how you deal with assholes like that, felix. id probably lose my mind." seungmin sighs, throwing his friend a tight lipped smile.
"you kinda get used to it. but i've just been so tired this finals week that i dont even have the energy to stand up for myself anymore." felix shakes his head while he wipes the counter down.
seungmin nods understandingly, lunging for the man's untouched drink before felix can throw it. "this is paid, isn't it?"
"well, yes but-"
"alright, felix look. i have a problem." seungmin slides easily into one of the stools by the counter, taking a deep sip of the man's mystery drink.
felix nods in understanding, rearranging trays and cleaning up as much as he can.
"well actually, it's more of a favor? i dont know."
felix only hums, used to seungmin's rambling by now. seungmin's just like that, needs to talk to himself aloud a little before getting straight to the point.
"im actually screwed and there's no one else i can talk to because well, there's no more shame between us, yea? we've seen each other naked and ive seen you at your lowest low and youve been there for me and-"
"wow, this is pretty serious, huh?" felix jokes, pulling up a stool so he can sit in front of his friend.
"i think i'm gonna fail a class." seungmin spits out, holding his breath immediately after as he gauges his friend's reaction.
felix's smile slowly disappears. his mouth opens and closes like a fish as he tries to figure out what to say, in a state of total shock. this goes on for about five minutes before seungmin finally whines, head dropping to his hands.
"will you say something i can actually understand, felix?"
"i'm sorry i just- i dont understand. you're.... failing? you? kim seungmin? the kim seungmin?"
"wow you really know how to comfort a guy, huh?"
"i'm sorry!" felix jumps up to pull seungmin in for a half-hug, awkwardly wrapping his arms around seungmin's chest over the counter. "i just... how? why? what subject? are you sure?"
"yes, im sure. i missed a stupid submission. a major subject. look, thats not the worst part-"
"omigod you're dying. thats the only explanation-"
"no!" seungmin whines, pushing his friend off him. "the professor said he could give me extra credit-"
"but thats good news!"
"-if im able to convince... someone.... to split the task given to them with me."
"o...kay? just turn on your puppydog charm and you're good to go."
seungmin shakes his head, as if he's about to deliver such solemn news to felix that he has to pause for dramatic effect. felix rolls his eyes.
"it's... well the person is y/n."
felix stares at his friend with wide eyes, unblinking. then he tilts his head back and lets out the most obnoxious laugh, losing his breath as his neck turns a deep shade of red, the tint spreading across his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.
"you're joking! oh this is just too- oh, i cant breathe, ITS KARMA!" he suddenly yells, fighting for his life to breathe in as much air as possible, wiping the tears from his eyes.
seungmin winces, but deep down he knows this reaction is deserved.
his relationship with you is... a little complicated.
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you met seungmin in your freshman year of highschool. you'd just moved to seoul, the New Girl. as batch rep, he was tasked with showing you around on your first day, teaching you the ropes and making you feel welcomed.
"well yea, thats basically it!" seungmin finishes, pace slowing down as he directs you to the bench just opposite the school clinic. "do you have any questions for me?" he asks with a slight tilt of his head.
your eyes stay trained on the floor, as they have been the past 30 minutes that this strange boy has toured you around the school. you shake your head. seungmin doesnt fully understand it yet, but somewhere deep down, he feels bad for you. you seem like the shy type, and he knows how hard it is to adjust and make new friends. god knows how he would have survived middle school if it weren't for his friends.
"hey, what do you say you come meet my friends tomorrow during lunch break?" he suddenly asks. for the first time since his homeroom teacher introduced you, you look up at him.
he's taken aback by how pretty your eyes are.
"oh, really?" you ask timidly, voice small.
"i- i mean yea! we're in the same homeroom anyway, right? plus i think it'll help you adjust a little better if you had people you could talk to and hang out with." seungmin shrugs.
"yea. i'd really like that. thank you, seungmin." your voice is so low its almost like you're mumbling.
before you know it, you're spending your lunch breaks laughing along with felix as he embarrasses all of seungmin's friends one by one, wincing away from changbin as he threatens to lunge across the table to shut the younger boy up, hyunjin clinging dramatically onto his boyfriend's side instead of defending him.
you're spending your weekends at seungmin's house as chan makes you all listen to his new demo, han turning red in the face when his verse comes on. you're walking to school with jeongin- arms full of convenience store goodies as you make fun of your grumpy old maths teacher, leeknow following quietly behind you both, scolding you when you get too close to the road.
before you know it, you've found yourself a group of friends who makes highschool just that much bearable.
seungmin's completely enamored by you, coming to learn that you're at the top of every class that you have (except the ones you have with him, of course). you're just as ambitious as he is, joining the debate team and the mock un club, quickly joining the officers despite being a new student.
he's somewhat threatened by you, though he'd never admit it to himself, or to anyone else for that matter. you score higher than him in statistics, and he cant help the ugly feeling that settles in his chest when you show your paper to him, a bright blue 100 circled at the top.
he tries not to let it get to him, changing his mindset into seeing it as a healthy competition, a way for him to challenge himself even more in to doing better than you. it feeds his competitive side, staying longer than you in the library, sleeping later than you, reading more books.
this one sided competition makes him feel conflicted. he's out for your blood, and yet you're the same sweet, shy girl he's always been close to. you spend most of your time with seungmin, studying with him at his house, sleeping over when you've realized its way past ten in the evening, sneaking out of his house for a quick convenience store run.
"min, i'm hungry! lets go down to the store." you'd whine, voice slightly muffled against his soft sheets, tucked nice and warm under his blankets.
"go home, you've finished all the food here." he'd tease, not even bothering to look away from his homework.
"cant. you'd miss me after an hour." you'd retort, reaching blindly behind you for a plushie to throw at the back of his head.
"suppose that's true. can't help but be used to your presence when you're here nearly every day," he'd feign annoyance, exhaling loudly through his nose.
you'd pout at him when he'd finally turn in his chair to look over at you, already so at home, snuggling even deeper into his bed.
you really do have such pretty eyes.
"fine. grab your coat." and he'd try hard to fight his smile at the sound of your delighted squeals.
you found a way to break through his walls, chip away at the cement and reduce it to a fine dust which you've blown away. but he stands unguarded all the same, not even bothering to put up a fight when you wrestle your way into his heart.
he'd like to keep you there, he thinks.
sometimes he'd lie to himself and say that he tried. by your senior year, he managed to ruin the one good thing in his life.
how stupid was he?
amazing, really. how he was able to throw away three years of friendship for fifteen minutes of fame.
"how could you do this to me?" you hiss, dropping your backpack onto the floor of seungmin's bedroom. his back is faced towards you, gently shutting his door before he leans his forehead on it. he takes a deep breath, gathering enough courage to face you.
"y/n, i-"
"you embarrassed me in front of everyone. you told them everything, things i told you in confidence because i fucking trusted you. how could you do this to me, seungmin? how could you fucking do this to me?" your tears are hot, angry against your cheeks as you pace around his room. your voice grows louder with every word, reaching a scream when you stand in front of him.
"i wasn't thinking, y/n. i-"
"and for what? to make me look bad?" you laugh hollowly, hands flying to your hair in disbelief. "to make me look like some poor, fucking loser who's so mentally unstable she can't possibly become president of student council? was that your angle?"
there's a lump in seungmin's throat and no matter how hard he swallows, it just wont go down. he opens his mouth to speak, to defend himself, but his mouth has gone dry and his tongue tastes like sand.
"what the fuck is wrong with you? i thought we were friends? i thought we were best friends, seungmin? how could you air out all my shit like that? for a couple of votes? do you know how pathetic you are? is that how bad you want to be president? you're willing to throw me under the bus to make yourself look good?" you can taste the salty tears pooling in your mouth, snot slowly dripping down and creating a sticky mess on your face.
but you're too angry to care.
your chest hurts, like someone's kicked you to the ground and continuously stomped right in between your ribcage in an attempt to squash your heart. your head hurts from dehydration, and your neck is starting to feel sticky from the sweat that's pooled at the collar of your uniform.
"was this your master plan? you found out i was running against you so you sucked up to me, kept me close so you could get all the dirt? you fucking traitor, i cant believe i actually trusted you." your throat has gone raw from all the yelling, can feel the way your voice starts to come out hoarse.
"y/n, please. i'm so sorry i dont know what i was thinking. i just... when they asked me why they should vote for me my mind blanked and i-" he tries to get everything out as fast as he can, terrified you'll cut him off and start yelling again. but he can't continue because, holy shit, even he doesn't know why the fuck he did what he did.
"and you what? made me look fucking stupid so you rambled on for fifteen minutes about how much of a horrible person i am. god, if thats what you thought of me you shouldve let me know, seungmin! i couldve walked out of your life if i made you that miserable." you're starting to heave, all the air in the room suddenly disappearing.
"no, dont say that y/n. you're the best thing about me, you're my best fr-"
seungmin feels dizzy when your palm lands on his right cheek.
you cant stop sobbing, hands clutching at your chest as you shake your head. "fuck you," you whisper.
seungmin is stunned, frozen in the middle of his room with his mouth slightly open. he says nothing, does nothing as he watches you bend down weakly to grab your bag, sobbing through the motions of slinging it over your shoulders.
but then the panic starts to kick in when you push past him, your fingers reaching for his doorknob. his instincts kick in and hes wrapping his hand around your wrist.
"please don't go, please let's talk about this." his voice cracks. when did he start crying?"
you pause, and for a moment seungmin can feel the weight on his shoulder lift, all hope is not lost.
"its good to know where your priorities lie, seungmin. now i know you'll do anything to get ahead. even if that means hurting me." you tried to sound strong, but your voice comes out broken, a whimper.
"dont speak to me ever again."
you pull your hand away from him.
the weight on his shoulders is suddenly crushing.
and when he gave his acceptance speech in front of the entire student body, he frantically searched for your face. his heart dropped when his eyes locked with yours. eyes that once looked at him with so much warmth, care, and love- stared soullessly back at him.
he knew he fucked up the best thing in his life.
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by the time you reach felix's cafe, hyunjin's whining had started to get on your nerves.
"i didn't ask you to carry it," you remind him, reaching for the strap.
he turns his body away from you, clutching your tote tighter against his side. "as if i'd let you carry this!"
yes, he was a gentleman. but a dramatic ass one.
"id honestly rather carry my bag than have to listen to you whine about how heavy it is."
"but it is so heavy! what the fuck did you put in here, rocks?"
you only roll your eyes, pushing open the glass door to the establishment. the tiny bell above the doorframe rings, announcing your arrival to the blonde boy behind the counter.
"oh my god, its soobin." you whisper under your breath, elbowing hyunjin in the ribs. he only looks at you puzzled, an eyebrow raised.
"he's so cute, ohmygod." you roll your eyes, quickly checking your blurry reflection on the glass door.
"not my type," hyunjin shrugs. you ignore him, walking straight to the counter.
"oh, hey soob!" you greet him, quickly shushing hyunjin when he starts to mock your airy tone. "is felix here?" you smile sweetly, trying to tame your hair from the mess caused by the strong winds outside.
"oh yea, he's over there in the booth by the window. he's not alone though," he says, wiping down the counter after spilling a few shaves of ice.
"oh, who's he with?" you ask, already making your way down the counter.
"dunno, the dude looks kinda stressed, to be honest." he shrugs, turning away from you when the bell lets him know he's got another customer to serve.
he's with a guy? he's not on a date is he? no- he wouldve told you. besides, he wouldnt have led hyunjin on either.
hyunjin follows behind you as you make your way towards the booth, heaving dramatically as he swings your tote bag off his shoulders. he crouches behind you, snickering to himself as you both slowly walk to the table, strands of felix's hair peeking out from the opposite bench.
"surprise!" hyunjin jumps from behind you, smile swiftly morphing into a face of shock, his mouth forming a small 'o'.
"holy shit, hyune! what are you doing here?"
your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. that voice-
"s-seungmin, i didnt know you were with felix."
you freeze, jaw dropped as seungmin stands. he clearly hasn't seen you yet, back facing you as he pulls hyunjin in for a hug, squeezing him tightly.
"i thought you were in paris?" felix squeals, sliding out of the booth and joining the three for a big bear hug. he's the one who finally notices you a few feet away, his smile dropping.
"y/n." he breathes, eyes wide.
when seungmin turns around, its almost as if in its slow motion.
he looks almost exactly the same, his hair a little longer, shaggier. his eyes look more tired, little bags under his eyes give away the sleepless nights he's become familiar with. his cheeks slowly turn a light pink, dusting across his nose all the way to the tip of his ears. he's dressed the way you remember him, loose comfy clothes.
he looks good, you think. you shake the thought away.
"oh, y/n." seungmin's voice is small as he locks eyes with you.
fuck, your eyes.
his first time seeing you in three years and he hates how you manage to steal his breath away. you've changed your hair, cut it a little shorter and dyed it lighter. you've pierced your ears, little sunflower earrings peaking from beneath your hair. you look so much more mature, your style has definitely changed.
but your eyes, they shine just as bright as he remembers. good to know his memory hasnt failed him yet.
"i didn't know you were coming, y/n." felix shoots you an apologetic glance, lips pursed and eyes wide.
"but i always come visit you on thursdays." you say flatly.
"yea but-"
"awh look! it's been a while since we've all seen each other, huh?" hyunjin cuts in, trying desperately to ease the tension. seungmin stays standing still, gawking stupidly at you. you try your best to pretend like you cant feel his gaze.
"yea, some of us made that decision on purpose." you mutter under your breath, but you don't miss the way seungmin's eye twitch.
felix smiles, lacing his hand with hyunjin's. "it's really been too long," he whispers, as if only meant for his lover.
"i'd really love if we could all spend some time together." hyunjin's eyes find yours, wide and pleading. "please?"
you offer him a tight lipped smile.
its already so awkward, the way felix and hyunjin slide naturally into the booth, beginning to chatter away. it leaves you and seungmin standing, stubbornly avoiding eye contact.
"do you- do you want to sit near the window, or?" seungmin's voice is small, eyes glued to the floor.
you shrug.
he nods, climbing in anyway. you take a deep breath before you move, reluctantly climbing onto the booth after him. you leave a considerable amount of space between the two of you, and seungmin can't help but roll his eyes.
it's been nearly three years, he thinks. how are you still holding a grudge against him? he clears his throat, about to start some small talk, but something stops him. maybe its the way you deliberately angle your body away from him, or the way you pull your phone out to scroll aimlessly, almost as if you were anticipating his move.
"so, how was paris?" seungmin asks hyunjin instead, shifting his body away from you. fine, be like that. at least hes not immature enough to make things awkward on purpose.
"oh, it was so romantic!" hyunjin exclaims, throwing his arm over felix's shoulder and resting it on the back of their booth. "it was a little depressing, actually. being in such a beautiful place all alone."
"well yea, but it was worth it right? who wouldve thought your one true love was right here all along." you tease, wiggling your eyebrows up and down.
"yea so is yours!" hyunjin teases you back. you only stick your tongue out.
beside you, seungmin tenses. surely, hyunjin isnt implying that he could be your true love, could he? the thought makes chest ache, an odd yearning to move closer to you, to let his fingers "accidentally" brush against yours-
"oh, soobin!" felix giggles, catching on.
seungmin's always hated that guy. from the moment he met soobin thirty minutes ago, he knew something was off. you can't date soobin, he wouldnt know how to take care of you. with his stupid blonde hair, his stupid bunny smile, his stupidly large eyes.
he bets soobin doesnt even know what your favorite type of ramen is, what your go-to snacks are, what your favorite flavor of ice cream is. important things that a lover should know.
things he knows.
oh, where'd that thought come from?
"shut up, you guys!" you hiss, checking to see if soobin is within earshot. you frown at felix, swatting across the table at his chest.
"what do you mean? you guys would look so cute together." hyunjin argues, quickly turning to catch a glimpse of soobin. you hide your face in your hands, profusely shaking your head as you sink deeper into the booth.
seungmin cant help the feeling of jealousy that bubbles deep in his gut. hes half scared hes going to projectile vomit all over the table when you straighten yourself out, sneaking a peek at the blonde boy who busies himself with creating a customer's drink.
"im probably not his type." you mumble.
"you're not." seungmin's shocked at the word that's slipped, hand quickly coming up to cover his mouth in shock.
all eyes are on him, and he can see the way you look at him, with your empty eyes staring right at his face. he hates it when you look at him like that, misses the way your eyes used to shine just for him.
"actually you know what, im getting kinda tired, i think im gonna go home instead." you blurt out, already reaching for your bag.
hyunjin's hand finds yours on the table, and he squeezes gently. "really?"
you swiftly pull your hand away. "yes. really."
"you know what, it doesnt matter. i actually made a reservation for us lixie. wasn't planning on staying long anyways. just wanted to surprise you." hyunjin sings sweetly, brushing away a stand of hair that had fallen on felix's cheek.
"yea, i think i'm gonna head home too." seungmin clears his throat.
just then, the sound of thunder roars outside, clouds a dark grey as they hang low.
fuck. just when you decided not to bring an umbrella.
"yea, i think we better get going. dont wanna get caught in the rain." felix sighs, gathering his stuff and offering hyunjin his hand.
"dont you have spare umbrellas here, lix? maybe we could borrow them. you know, just in case." as if on cue, the rain starts to come down heavily, droplets splattering against the window.
"yea, but there's only two." felix mutters, quickly slipping behind the counter to grab two black umbrellas leaning against the wall. "hyunjin and i can share, and maybe you and y/n-"
"i'm fine." you say stubbornly, arms crossed in front of your chest.
you'd rather die than spend two seconds alone with kim seungmin.
"oh dont say that, you'll get drenched and catch a cold." hyunjin sighs, grabbing one of the umbrellas from felix's hand and offering it to you.
"i'd actually prefer that, thanks." you snap, swatting his hand away.
hyunjin opens his mouth to berate you, but seungmin quickly steps in, reaching for the umbrella. "i'll handle this guys, you go enjoy your dinner."
you fume at that. 'oh he'll handle it? who the fuck does this guy think he is?'
you roll your eyes, pushing past your friends and heading for the door. you stand under the roof, crossing your arms in front of your chest as a cold chill blows past you. hyunjin and felix soon exit as well, wrapped tightly in their coats, hands entwined.
hyunjin steps towards you, pulling you in for a hug despite your protests. "be nice," he whispers, before planting a kiss on your cheek. you make a move to wipe it away, but hesitate when you see hyunjin pout.
"have a nice date." you mumble, watching as the pair huddles close under the umbrella, making their way to felix's car.
you hear the door open, and you hold your breath.
"let me walk you home." seungmin offers, his tone stern. this only ticks you off, wanting nothing more than to defy him despite his offer being in your best interest. your apartment is a good walk away, and the papers in your tote bag risk the chance of getting wet.
"i mean you- you live near my building, right?" he pleads, clicking his umbrella open. he waits patiently for you to respond, standing awkwardly by the sidewalk as you fight with your pride.
you nod, and thats all seungmin needs. he's by your side in an instant, holding the umbrella nearer to your side to ensure that not even an inch of you gets wet from the rain. his left side is already completely soaked, cringing at the feel of his cold hoodie sticking to his skin, but he ignores it. you set a fast pace, and his heart hurts at the though that it's probably because you can't stand to spend more time with him than you need to.
he notices you wince from the weight of your bag, taking a deep breath as you readjust the strap from falling off your shoulder.
"let me carry it," he's being bold, already reaching for the damn thing before you can say anything.
"i dont need any more favors." you snap, the first words you've directly said to him in nearly three years. he's glad you've at least acknowledged his existence now, but your words are sharp.
he lets it go, humming to let you know that he heard you. your pace quickens just a bit, eager to get home, out of the rain, and away from seungmin. your tote swings from the movement, getting caught on a nearby bush and very nearly pulling you back.
you lose your balance and slip, falling flat on your butt on the wet pavement. you try to brake your fall, scratching your palms in the process.
"oh my god, are you okay?" seungmin rushes down, still holding the umbrella over your head. he offers his hand to help you up, but you swat it away.
"i'm fine, alright? god, stop hovering!" you yell, pushing down on your scratched palms to help yourself up. you wince at the pain, brushing off tiny pebbles and bits of gravel from your open wound.
"y/n, you're bleeding." seungmin gawks, hand reaching out to touch yours. you quickly yank it out of his reach, almost as if you were hiding your palm from him.
"yea, thanks for the info." you mumble, trying your best to wipe away the mud that's splattered all over your jeans. seungmin moves quickly while you're preoccupied, crouching down to grab at your tote bag. he ignores your whines of protest, slinging it over his shoulder.
you let out a groan when he refuses to hand it back to you. "fine, whatever. suffer." you grumble, crossing your arms before walking away. seungmin quickly catches up to you, shielding you from the rain.
the walk home is painfully quiet. you're hyperaware of every movement he makes, every time he inhales, the way he clears his throat, as if he's about to say something before he changes his mind. all these emotions swirl angirly inside of you, most of them you cant even begin to comprehend.
because for some reason, you miss him. and it hits you like a truck when the sleeve of his hoodie grazes your elbow, the soft cloth reaching for you. it takes everything in you not to break down and grab for him, to hold him close and strangle him, to wrap your arms around him and hug him so tight he loses breath and dies of suffocation.
he smells the same, like the seungmin you remember who used to walk you home after band practice. the seungmin who held your hand in secret as you walked through the haunted house that one halloween. the seungmin who'd sing to you, alone in his room with his guitar on his lap.
your seungmin.
how could this stranger beside you be your seungmin?
how is it possible that the very same person who knows your deepest darkest secrets, your most embarrassing moments, your dreams and fears- is someone who doesn't know you at all?
seungmin stands stiff beside you as you reach the lobby of your apartment, shaking the little droplets of rain off the umbrella. he opens the door for you, urging you to enter before him.
"i'll have my bag back now, thanks." you say in monotone, eyes not even meeting his.
"let me carry it up." a bold request.
"i'm fine now, you know? im not some damsel in distress in need of saving." you mumble, standing your ground.
seungmin ignores you, already walking towards the elevator. he leaves it on hold, waiting a few seconds before you enter as well, grumbling under your breath.
once you reach your floor, you lead the way to your room, with seungmin trailing slowly behind you. he's shivering a little from the cold, the wet of his jacket only making the draft on the floor feel like ice against his skin. you notice, the little devil on your shoulder pleased at his suffering.
but there's another side of you that softens when you notice the way his teeth chatter, a shudder going down his whole body. god, you're gonna regret even opening your mouth-
"you can come in to warm up a little." you mumble, reaching into your coat pocket to fetch your keys.
seungmin merely blinks at you, unsure if he heard you correctly, or if his imagination was so strong that he managed to picture you saying the thing he so desperately wanted to hear.
but then you walk in, and you leave your door open. for him.
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"oh, thanks." seungmin mutters awkwardly, reaching for the cup of tea you offer him. the warmth spreads from his fingertips to his palms, and he's genuinely grateful for the heat it provides. you only hum, grabbing your tote bag from the floor and setting it on the couch.
you pour yourself a cup, sitting directly opposite of the strange boy in your apartment. you blow away some of the steam that rises from the cup, eyes trained on the way the liquid ripples from the force of your breath.
seungmin opens his mouth to speak, but he cant seem to find the words to say what he wants to say. i'm sorry? no thats too lame. i miss you? fuck no, way too forward. how about-
"you're shivering." you point out, staring directly into seungmin's eyes.
his breath hitches. you're looking at him.
actually looking at him.
"oh, i- i didn't even notice." he lies. despite the fact that you turned your heater on, he's fucking freezing. his hoodie is heavy with rain and damp against his skin, sending shivers all the way up his arm and down his spine.
suddenly you stand, retreating into your room without a word. seungmin's confused, unsure if that's his cue that he's overstayed his welcome. but then you come back into the kitchen after a few seconds, holding a large blue hoodie in your arms.
his heart clenches when you unfurl it, revealing the old hoodie he'd given you a month before your graduation. he didnt even know you got it in the mail when he sent it. you werent even talking to him at that point. does that mean you'd gotten his letter too?
"well, i didnt wanna get rid of it, you know? would be a waste." you mumble. you toss it over to him, the cloth landing on his lap with a soft thud. he looks stupidly down at it, brain malfunctioning.
"you should change out of your sweater. you're wet. dripping all over my floor." you grumble, snatching seungmin's empty cup and setting it down on the counter behind him.
"you kept it?" seungmin whispers.
"like i said. didnt want it-"
"you kept it." seungmin turns to look at you.
his deep brown eyes are hopeful, crease in his brows giving away the myriad of emotions swirling deep in his stomach.
you stay silent, back turned towards him. you can feel the tears that pool behind your eyelids, threatening to fall as you hold yourself over the sink, turning your head completely away from seungmin. you hear the sound of fabric rustling, and your cheeks warm at the thought of him undressing in the middle of your kitchen.
the sound of wood scratching against your kitchen tiles is loud, the abruptness of seungmin standing up nearly sending the chair backwards.
"smells like you." he whispers. he cant trust his voice.
he takes a step towards you, your back still towards him.
"i think its time for you to go." you hiccup, a steady stream of tears flowing down your cheeks.
"look at me." seungmin begs, taking another step.
"you should go now, seungmin."
"look me in the eye when you tell me. then i will."
he's getting bold, standing right behind you, his chest pressing the back of your head. you whirl around, ready to yell at him, to scream at him, to slap him, to furl your hands into fists and beat against his chest.
but he's quicker, wrapping both his arms around your shoulders and pressing you close to him, tucking your head under his chin. he holds you like this for so long you figure its been hours. you stain the front of his chest with your tears, hands weakly wrapping around him, fingers curling into the fabric.
he still feels like seungmin.
your seungmin.
"you kept it. you got my letter too, didn't you sweetheart?" he whispers, as if afraid raising his voice would ruin the spell.
you sob violently against his chest, holding him tighter against you.
"i meant every single word," he squeezes you tightly, "i'm so sorry."
"you're an asshole, kim seungmin." you sob, shaking your head.
"i know, i know. i'm so sorry." he shushes you, smoothing down your hair, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.
"do you know how much it hurts?" you sob, pulling away from him. "i see you almost everyday. you have the face of someone who knows every single thing about me, but you're a complete stranger to me." you sob into your hands, pouring your heart out to him.
"i know," he sniffles, wiping away the snot under your nose with his free hand.
"no, you dont. stop fucking saying that." you pull your face away from him, pushing his hand down. "you were my best friend and you- now its like i dont know you and-" you're hiccuping, heaving, out of breath as you break down.
"i'm sorry, sweetheart, okay? i'm so so sorry. i was so stupid,"
"well yea!" you yell, falling into him when he opens his arms up to you.
he chuckles dryly at that, holding you tightly against him, as if terrified you'd change your mind and kick him out of your home. and he cant bear to see it, the way you look up at him with tears in your eyes, bloodshot red and full of resentment. he wants to fix it so bad, misses the way you'd hold softness in your eyes reserved especially for him.
"i'll make it right," he promises, nuzzling his cheek against the top of your head. "i'll prove it to you, okay? i promise."
you sniffle, shaking your head. "i- i dont know,"
"hey, look at me." seungmin pulls you away from him, bending slightly so you're eye to eye. "i promise, i'll do everything i can to gain back your trust. i just miss you so much, y/n. i- i really fucked up and to this day it remains my greatest regret."
you stay quiet, eyes flickering between either of his. "even more than when you shaved your head that one summer?" you joke weakly.
seungmin can feel his heart pounding at the sight of your small smile. he thinks he sees your eyes twinkle. "yes, sweetheart. even more than that. i just... please. give me another chance. give me a chance to make it right with you, y/n."
you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. seungmin's steadily crying, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand as he looks at you, expectantly. you stay quiet for so long seungmin can hear the blood rushing all the way to his head, going dizzy with anticipation and fear.
"you'll have to buy me lots of gummies, you know?" you mumble, looking up at him.
fuck. he'd buy you all the gummies in the world if it meant you'd keep looking at him with those eyes.
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the words on your screen have started to blur altogether, vision hazy as you mindlessly scroll through the hundreds of pages of readings and notes youve been reviewing for the past...... god, was there even a time you weren't studying? even the music playing through your headphones have lost its appeal, sounding more and more like radio static.
you jolt out of your trance at the sound of books slamming against the surface of your table, which shakes under the weight. you quickly pull your headphones off and look up at the intruder, who smiles sheepishly at you.
"sorry, did i wake you?" seungmin asks, pulling up a chair beside you.
"no, you saved me." you groan, stretching your whole body until your limbs start to vibrate.
seungmin only laughs, sinking deep into his chair. he takes his cap off and runs his fingers through his hair. he scoots a little closer to you, then bends the other way to retrieve a little brown paper bag.
"i brought you breakfast." he says, rolling his eyes at the way you pout at him.
"seungmin, you didnt!" you gasp, receiving the tall cup of iced coffee with eager hands.
"i did this for myself, actually." he claims, pulling out some warm bread to share with you. "dont want you grumpy all morning. what time did you come in? you look like shit. no offense."
you shrug, taking a long sip of the cold drink.
"wait, weren't you wearing that last night when i left? y/n.. dont- oh my god, dont tell me you spent the whole night here?"
you stare blankly back at him. "our final exam is in three days."
"do you plan on staying awake until then?" seungmin bites sarcastically, and you kick his chair.
"i have to atleast get a 97 on his exam or else i wont finish his class with high honors." you whine, running your fingers through your hair in frustration.
you're so much like him, seungmin thinks. he, too, is familiar with sacrificing his happiness for a perfect grade. except now he has to work just as hard as you just to pass. the thought leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.
"you have to get some sleep or you wont finish his class at all." he threatens, staring down at you.
you only frown, but you dont need that much convincing, as you're already closing your laptop shut, scooting your chair just that much closer to seungmin's so your arm grazes his.
"wake me up in thirty minutes." you grumble, linking your arm with his and resting your head on his shoulder. he raises it a little to grant you comfort, unbothered by the fact that his arm will inevitably start to tense and ache.
"sweet dreams," he hums, discreetly kissing the top of your head as he pretends to look at the empty chair next to you.
ten minutes pass, and you're already snoring. your fair falls in a mess in front of your face, and seungmin has to hold back from sweeping your hair away in fear that he'd accidentally wake you up. he cant help but feel his chest swell at the feeling of you leaning on him, he feels like a highschooler high with giddiness, trying hard not to vibrate in his seat.
screw the readings, he can barely keep you out of his head. this past month has been an absolute dream to him, spending every waking moment by your side. treating you to almost every single meal, keeping you company as you run your errands, crashing at yours to study and just goof around.
this is how he remembers you- full of life, playful, just a little mischievous. so positively alluring that seungmin feels himself falling in love with you. it hit him like a brick that night you passed out with papers strewn across your bed, your limbs tangling with his. he didnt sleep a wink that night, too busy studying your face. you looked so peaceful, he remembers, burying your face in the crook of his neck and holding him tightly in your sleep.
he looks down at you now, cant stop the smile from spreading across his face. he'll let you sleep for a little longer, he decides. he doesnt care if you get upset with him (you will), you deserve the rest. seungmin's about to finally clear his head of you and actually get some studying done when he locks eyes with a tall blonde from across the room.
god, of all the people.
"oh, hey! seungmin, right? felix's friend?" soobin says in a low voice as he approaches the table.
"yea, soobin right?" stupid fucking name.
"yea. hey- is that y/n?" he nods towards your sleeping figure.
ew. stop looking at her. "oh, yea. she passed out."
"damn, she's really studious, huh? ran into her late last night when she was here all alone." soobin sighs, frowning at you.
seungmin wants to puke at the thought of you spending time alone with soobin. he wants to ask him so many questions like- how long did you talk to her for? what did you guys talk about? how much can i pay you to leave her alone?
"yea, shes hardworking. i admire her for that." seungmin smiles fondly.
"oh... wait- are.. are you guys, like, a thing? or something?" soobin takes a step back and seungmin's breath hitches in his throat.
"cuz if you guys are, i can totally back off, you know?"
seungmin stays silent, weighing his options. he could lie and say you guys were dating, but if you found out, you'd probably hate him and ignore him for the rest of his life and he'd rather die than let that happen. on the other hand, if he tells the truth, soobin would obviously try to pursure you. and he knows you have a little crush on him too.
seungmin bites his lower lip, then shakes his head. "nah, we're just friends." seungmin can feel some bile rise in his throat. not for long, he thinks cockily.
"oh, cool cool. uhm, if you could do me a favor, man? just... i dunno ask her to go to the cafe again this week? maybe i'll work up the courage to ask her out or something." soobin chuckles, cheeks turning a deep red.
seungmin can only nod. finally soobin offers him a small smile and leaves. there's a heavy feeling in seungmin's stomach, almost as if he'd been punched in the gut. he cant even begin to imagine you dating someone else, in fear that he'd just break down right then and there.
its kinda pathetic, really. you're not even his yet and he's already thinking of all the ways he can get soobin to leave you alone. he wants to print a large sign that says "do not approach, angry guard dog will bite" over your head, just to keep everyone else away from you.
god, since when was he this possessive?
he spends the next forty minutes thinking of ways to get you to be his. and when you finally stir awake, the first thing that seungmin says is-
"we should stop going to felix's cafe."
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obviously, you dont listen.
you go to felix's cafe anyways, except you're always alone. seungmin doesn't need to know where you go every thursday afternoon while he's in class, anyways. he never told you why he wanted you to stop coming here, but you have a hunch. a tall, blonde, stupidly handsome hunch.
"y/n!" soobin greets you warmly, leaning over the counter to get a better look at your face.
"hey, soob." your cheeks warm.
you know that nothing is going on between you and seungmin, but you can't help but feel guilty doing exactly the opposite of what he asked of you. but something's shifted the past few days you've been spending with seungmin, almost as if you're seeing each other in this new light. you push this thought to the back of your head like you always do, telling soobin your order and waiting for felix at your booth.
by the time soobin brings the food to you, your phone rings.
fuck. its seungmin.
"hello?"
"hey, my classes ended a little early today. where are you?"
"oh, uhm im-"
oh my god lie faster.
"yea?" you can hear him huffing, obviously walking around campus, probably looking for you.
"at the library." you spit, looking outside the window, frozen with paranoia. lying to him feels so so wrong.
"its wednesday, y/n. library's closed."
oh my fucking god, lie better.
"i went to meet felix." you finally admit, shrinking into your seat.
you hear seungmin sigh. "is he out already?"
"no," you mumble.
"so you're alone?"
you hum.
"im on my way."
he hangs up, and you let out a sigh.
finally, felix barges out from the kitchens and quickly clocks out, throwing his apron over his head and hanging it on the hook by the door. he smiles when he sees you, nearly leaping over the counter to get to you.
"hello, my dear y/n." felix hums, kissing you quickly on the cheek and settling on the booth opposite from you.
"hello, my dear lixie." you hum, pushing a plate of waffles in front of him. "for you, your usual."
felix groans with hunger, fixing his plate with a heavy load of syrup and a huge dollop of butter. "so, how are things? any important new updates this week?"
you shrug, taking a sip of your iced coffee. "nothing new, really..... except, i guess...."
felix hums, urging you to continue.
you let out a deep breath, shaking your head. "i think... i think something's going on between seungmin and i."
you bite the inside of your cheek at felix's reaction, mouth agape as he stares blankly at you. it takes him a moment to process before he finally swallows the food in his mouth and he lets out an evil giggle. "oh, this is... oh, hyunjin owes me so much money!"
"you prick!" you gasp, swatting at felix's arm. "you guys bet on us?"
"well, i mean, come on! it was sooo obvious, i mean, it was only a matter of time, you know?" felix shrugs, cutting up another piece of his waffle.
"no, i do not know!" you squeal, piercing the piece with your fork and stuffing it into your mouth, ignoring your friend's whines of protest. "you guys thought seungmin and i would end up together?"
"well yea, everyone with eyes thought so! come on, y/n. he's looked at you like a lovesick puppy since highschool." felix rolls his eyes. "you guys were always together, and he knew you better than all of us combined. not to mention how lifeless you both were the two years you werent talking. i mean seriously, it was like hanging out with a couple of zombies."
your cheeks warm. "but- im still not even sure of how he feels about me."
"wow. love does make you oblivious as fuck, or whatever they say." felix shakes his head, chugging down his vanilla milkshake before he suddenly remembers something.
"does that mean you're gonna let him help you grade the papers for extra credit?"
you freeze. "what?"
"yea, seungmin said he needs to convince you or else he'd fail, or something. you guys talked about it already, or?"
your breath falters, and your brows furrow. "seungmin's failing a class?"
felix swallows. he cant shake off the feeling that he said something he shouldnt have. but he could never keep a secret from you.
"well- yes. his prof said he needed to convince you to help him get extra credit."
"wait, when was this?" you ask, voice stern.
oh, felix is soooo in deep shit. "uhm, like the day you guys started talking again."
your heart drops to your ass. surely, thats not the whole reason why he was so desperate to talk to you again, right? but you cant shake away the feeling, remembering back to highschool when he'd done almost the exact same thing.
but he promised. he promised it'd be different this time, right?
"seungmin told you that he needed to convince me to let him grade some papers?" you clarify.
"yea."
"and what did you say?"
"i uhm- i told him to like, turn on his charm or something along those lines."
you scoff in disbelief.
felix is going to hell. "but, that was my advice before i knew it was you! i just... i know seungmin needed some help and he'd do anything to get a good grade so i figured he was extra desperate because he was borderline failing and i was just so shocked and-"
"felix, just stop talking." you mumble, leaning back against the booth.
felix only nods, wringing his hands in nervousness. he opens his mouth to speak, but you shoot him a glare. he falls silent again, nervously gnawing on his bottom lip.
your mind's racing, going 100 miles an hour as you go through every moment youve had with seungmin this past month. obviously, this favor is not the only reason he tried hard to convince you to talk to him again, right?
but theres a small voice inside of you, the one who remembers the harsh pain seungmin caused that's screaming, telling you to cut him off, shut him out before he can hurt you all over again.
by the time seungmin pulls open the glass door, you've made up your mind.
"he-"
"this is the last time i let you break my heart, kim seungmin." you say firmly, brushing past him.
seungmin can only stand, frozen. his heart drops to his stomach, head going fuzzy as his gaze lands on felix. he opens his mouth to say something, but he cant find the words.
"what did you say?" seungmin asks.
"im sorry, i didnt know, i thought-"
seungmin's rushing out, throwing the door wide open as he runs out into the street. he can feel his heart pumping as he pushes through crowds of people, racing towards you. he can hear his blood rushing, catching sight of your yellow sundress as you're pushing open your apartment building. seungmin's never been a runner, hell, he nearly failed PE in highschool when he was forced to run laps a whole semester. but right now? he feels like the fucking flash.
he yells for you, ignoring the stitch in his side as he manages to somewhat catch up to you. by the time he throws open the heavy metal door to your apartment complex, the elevator doors are closing, your eyes locking with his.
"fuck." seungmin heaves, bending down to rest his hands on his knees. he needs to reach you before you lock him out of your room. he knows how stubborn you can be, you could probably ignore his pleas and incessant knocking for days if you had to.
seungmin gags, shaking his limbs before he bolts up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, pushing his legs to work faster. the backpack on his shoulders is heavy but he could care less. he cant risk losing you again.
sweat flows freely from his forehead by the time he reaches your floor, and by some miracle, he catches you walking down the hall.
"y/n!" he heaves, sliding his bag off his shoulders and leaving it right there in the hall. "please-"
"go away, seungmin." your voice cracks, digging for your keys in your bag.
he shakes his head, jogging up to you before you can close the door in his face. he sticks his shoe in the closing gap, groaning when it gets stuck between your door and the frame.
"what the fuck?" you yell, backing up as seungmin forces his way into your apartment, closing the door behind him.
"no you- you have to hear me out." he's panting, vision going blurry. jesus christ, he was out of shape.
"you want to talk about it?" you challenge, shrugging your coat off and throwing it on the floor.
"yes." he heaves, leaning against the wall.
"okay, lets talk about it. is it true that you wanted to convince me to help you get extra credit?" your hands are crossed in front of you. seungmin's admittedly a little scared.
"yes, but-"
"but what? i wasnt supposed to find out?"
"no! that was before-"
"before what?" you take a step closer, crowding him in.
"before i realized i was in love with you!" seungmin yells, hiding his face in his hands.
you're silent, expression stoic. "you're sick." you whisper, unsure of yourself. your heart is racing, and you take a step back. "dont... dont say that."
"but its the truth!" seungmin's desperate know, tears welling in his eyes. it wasnt supposed to happen like this. he was supposed to take you out, confess his feelings for you properly, but now its all ruined and rushed and- oh, when he gets his hands on lee felix-
"the truth?" you scoff, shaking your head at him. "how am i supposed to believe you? with everything that... that's happened?"
"you're going to have to trust me." seungmin steps forward, hesitant. he can see the doubt in your eyes and it makes him sick. he'd run up 10 flights of stairs if it meant you'd never look at him like that again.
"trust me when i say that i was a fucking fool in highschool for hurting you, and i spend every day thinking about how if i could, i would go back in time to change everything." he takes another step forward, backing you against the door to your bedroom.
"that i wasted two and a half years of my life by not spending them with you, knowing that you were so near me, that i could easily walk up to you but i was too embarrassed, too scared you'd shut me out." seungmin's baring his soul out, but its too late to stop.
"that i thought about you every single day, thought about what could have been if i wasnt so stupid. that ive spent the last few months doing everything i can to prove to you that i would never ever hurt you like that ever again. but with you im just so stupid, i feel like im always doing the wrong things because youre all up in my head taking up all the space and i fucking love that i cant think about anything but you."
you can only stare up at him. you can see the way his gaze flickers away from you, too nervous to maintain eye contact. he reaches out to you, fingers hesitantly brushing against the back of your hand. testing. you pull away from his touch to wipe away the tear that's managed to slip away, clearing your throat. he tilts his head, hands settling firmly on your waist.
"i love you, y/n. please, you have to believe me."
he's waiting for you to say something, anything. he's never poured his heart out like that before, the silence eating away at him as he slowly spirals, overthinking every word he's said.
but then you relax in his hold, pressing your chest subtly against his. and he knows there's hope.
"are you really failing a class?" you whisper, and seungmin can only laugh.
"that's your concern?" he leans down, dragging the tip of his nose against your cheek. he inhales deeply, nuzzling against you.
"well, yes." you gently push him away by the shoulder, looking up at him. "i cant have my boyfriend failing any of his classes."
seungmin smiles, absolutely melting when you wrap your arms around his neck. "oh yea? does that mean you'll let me in on the extra credit?"
"you are on thin, thin ice, seungmin." you warn, reaching up to finally press your lips against his. seungmin absolutely melts, letting out a low groan at your taste. one hand on your waist, seungmin leans into you, reaching behind you to open your bedroom door. you gasp when you lose balance, recovering quickly when seungmin walks you backwards, never once pulling away from you until the back of your knees hit your bed.
you let out a squeal when you fall back, seungmin expertly finding his way in between your legs. "tell me you want me," seungmin commands in between kisses, hands roaming up and down your sides.
"i do. i want you." you breathe, pushing off seungmin's jacket.
"yea?" seungmin hums, pulling back to bunch up your dress until it sits just below your ribcage. he leans back, simply staring down at you with stars in his eyes.
"stop staring at me." you mumble shyly, turning your head to the side.
"dont want to," seungmin hums, quickly throwing his shirt off into a random corner of your room. "ill look at my girl as long as i like." he leans down, capturing your lips with his.
"your girl, hmm?" you hum, smiling as he kisses his way up your stomach, fingers gripping onto the hem of your dress. your breath hitches when his fingers brush against your under boob. he smiles against your skin, looking up at you.
"aren't- arent you going to take my dress off?" you whisper into the air, and seungmin stops his teasing kisses against your hip.
"well, i was going to but then.." he kisses over the fabric, planting a wet kiss in between your breasts before latching onto your neck for a playful bite. "then i thought about how i want to fuck you in it and then take you out to dinner after."
your cheeks grow red, lightly slapping his arm at his vulgarity. "doesnt that sound better, baby?" seungmin hums, playing with the hem of your underwear.
your breath goes shaky as seungmin continues to toy with you, pads of his fingers lightly pressing against your clit from over your underwear, providing the littlest bit of friction, but enough to drive you crazy.
"seungmin, please-"
"please, what?" he teases, hips pressing into your thigh. you can feel him through his sweats, hard and aching against you. he begins to grind against you, gentle enough to tease you and get him off at the same time.
"need you to touch me." you huff, frustrated.
"i am, baby." seungmin chuckles, pads of his fingers pressing against you firmly, trailing down until he teases your entrance, soiling the fabric of your underwear with how wet you are.
"you know what i mean," you whine.
seungmin only hums, lowering his sweats just enough to free his cock. he pulls your underwear to the side, exposing your cunt to the cold air of the room, making you shiver.
"you're so wet, baby. bet i could slide right in, huh?" seungmin teases you with his tip, tapping it firmly against your clit and trailing down to coat himself in you.
"god, just put it in, minnie." you sigh, grabbing at his shoulders.
"minnie?" seungmin smirks, nosing against your jaw. "i like that."
he finally presses in, slowly making sure you feel every inch of him. you wince a bit at the pain, and seungmin notices with a coo. he pulls your hands away from his shoulders to hold against your bed, fingers intertwining with yours.
"i'm sorry, does it hurt?" he coos, slowly pulling out to thrust back in.
"a little, its okay. kiss me."
seungmin obeys, leaning down to kiss you sweetly as he starts at an even pace. he's slow with it, stroking so deep you can feel him in your throat. it feels intimate this way, with his hands in yours, his chest pressed firmly against you. he pants into your mouth, kissing you when you start to moan too loudly.
"tell me you love me." seungmin sighs, resting his forehead against yours.
you nod, "i love you. love you minnie."
seungmin lets out a groan at that, pulling one hand away to sneak in between your bodies, tips of his fingers finding your clit. he starts to move them in circles, your high fast approaching.
"i'm gonna cum," you whine, squeezing his hand.
"cum with me, baby. please," he begs, holding you so tight against him you feel the air knocked out of you with every thrust. you cum with a whine of his name, fingers digging into the back of his hand. his hips stutter before he presses as deep as he can into you, groaning loudly as he mouths at your neck.
you're both sweaty and sticky, but seungmin pays no mind as he collapses completely on top of you, wrapping his limbs around you. he looks up at you when his breathing starts to even, a cheeky grin on his face.
"what," you laugh, pushing him away by the shoulder when he leans in to kiss you.
he loves the sound of your happiness, basking in it as he shifts closer to pull you into his side. you happily comply, ignoring the mess in between your legs in favor of cuddling up to your lover.
"i really do love you." seungmin reassures, and you roll your eyes.
"i love you too. really." you hum, kissing his shoulder. "now clean me up, and dont even think about falling asleep."
seungmin groans, rolling off your bed to reach for a towel to wet. "but we have plenty of time before dinner. we can nap!"
"no, i will nap." seungmin frowns, walking into your bathroom and turning the faucet on.
"and what do you expect me to do?" seungmin says once he returns to the room, eyebrows raised.
"you, will check all the papers left in my bag." seungmin only laughs, leaning down to wipe in between your thighs, careful to get every drop.
"then can we get dinner?" he asks, pout on his lips.
"yes. your treat."
"well, duh."
as you close your eyes and start to drift off to sleep, seungmin only watches, hunched over on your bedroom floor, hundreds of papers scattered in front of him. he prays he'll be able to get it together and pry his eyes away from you to actually get some work done.
he seriously doubts it.
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lovebugism · 9 months ago
Note
❛ if you die, i'll kill you. ❜“i cant live without you” “don’t die on me, we haven’t even gotten to the good part yet” “i lied i never hated you”
eddie x reader enemies to lovers 🥹🥹
pls enjoy this absolute heartache of a fic :D — you and eddie hate each other until he almost dies (angst, enemies to lovers, cw for mentions of gore, 1.1k)
“Wanna make out?” Eddie had asked you, some hours ago now, when you first arrived at the Upside Down version of Skull Rock. You’d just narrowly survived a gang of demobats, and the stale air smelled distinctly of copper pennies. He managed a smug smile anyway. “I mean, we might as well. Looks like we’re gonna die out here, anyway.”
You scoffed and rolled your tired eyes. The annoyance you felt for him then momentarily distracted you from the fear swirling in the pit of your stomach. “I’d rather,” you’d quipped.
You feel a little like you’ve prophesized something now.
Eddie bleeds out in your arms with a hundred little bites on his stomach that were supposed to be yours. He’d distracted the circling demobats when you twisted your ankle, too hurt to run away. And now he’s dying. And it’s all your goddamn fault.
You sit with him while Dustin rushes into the Creel House, in search of help from the older crew. You watch him attentively over your shoulder until he disappears behind the rotted front door. When you turn back to Eddie, you find his eyes have fluttered shut.
“Eddie—” you call for him, clearing your throat when it comes out garbled. “Eddie! Hey!”
“Hm…” he hums tiredly in response, eyes still shut.
You sigh with the subtle relief that he’s not dead. The breath catches in your chest. You try to fight away the panic attack clawing behind your ribcage, even though it makes everything around you seem more and more distant. You try to stay as present as you can despite the horrors swimming all around you — for Eddie The Freak Munson.
“You have to stay awake,” you tell him, voice thick with emotion. “Open your eyes.”
“I’m just… I feel a little tired right now,” he mumbles, slurring slightly. 
Your chest wrenches. He’s getting paler and paler by the minute. The tourniquet you made from the bottom half of your shirt is now soaked with deep red blood. Panic burns a wildfire in your chest because you’ve done everything you could think to do. 
You can’t lose him. That’s all you’re telling yourself now. You can’t lose him, you can’t lose him, you can’t lose him.
“I don’t care. Keep your eyes open, alright?”  Your heart wrenches again, with something short of hope this time, when Eddie’s eyes flutter open. They’re glassy and dilated, but the deep chocolate of them hasn’t changed. You muster a small smile. “There you go, Eds. There you go— Now, just keep talking to me, okay? Keep talking.”
“I’m tired,” he mutters under his breath, too weak to do anything more.
Your face screws together as you choke back a sob. You swallow down every instinct to cry. You’ll cry when this is over, you tell yourself, when Eddie’s safe and back in Hawkins.
“I know, Eddie. I know,” you babble through stinging tears. “But you gotta— you gotta keep talking, alright? It’ll help you stay awake. And I need you to… I need you to stay awake for me, okay?”
He nods. At least, you think he’s nodding, because the movement is terribly faint. 
His eyes fall shut again. You feel the loss of his melted chocolate gaze like a stab in the chest. Your hand grips his jaw, a little less than gentle.
“Eddie,” you bite through gritted teeth.
“Mm…”
“If you die, I swear to god, I will fucking kill you.”
The familiarity of your aggression reminds him of home. He opens his eyes and cracks a small, barely-there smile. Blood glistens on his mouth. “I thought you hated me?” he slurs in an inaudible mumble.
“I do,” you tell him without thinking twice, laughing through the sob in your throat. “But I’ll love the shit outta you if we make it out of here together.”
Together, you say, because either both of you make it out or neither of you do. 
His grin widens softly, chapped and lopsided. “Metal,” he murmurs.
A whimper sounds in your throat when his eyes flutter shut again. “Eddie…”
“‘M sorry, sweetheart,” he whispers, breathing sharply through his nose. 
It’s getting harder and harder for him to breathe. You can tell by the harsh rise and fall of his chest. There’s little oxygen getting to his brain, accompanied by the weeping bites on his stomach— where the fuck is Dustin Henderson?
“I don’t know if I…. If I’m gonna make it outta here, babe…”
Your chest tightens. He only ever called you babe to piss you off. You wonder if he’s still being the annoying asshole you knew back home or if the term of endearment is too engrained in his head.
“Don’t say that.”
“If I don’t—”
“Eddie.”
“If I don’t make it out,” he repeats, sterner this time. He drags a sharp breath in and opens his eyes, just barely. “I want you to know that I never… I never hated you… ‘M just a liar… And a total fucking coward…”
“You can make it up to me when we get back home, okay? You just gotta stay awake.”
His lip quirks into a faint, crooked smile. “I’ve been dyin’ to kiss you since ninth grade… Did you know that?”
“I know,” you nod with an emotional laugh.
“I did make it kinda obvious, didn’t I?”
“You can kiss me when you get better. I swear.”
Eddie nods. You feel him grow heavier and heavier in your arms. His smug smile starts to fade, and you panic. “Eddie? Eddie, don’t— don’t die on me, okay? Please. We haven’t— We haven’t gotten to the good part yet, asshole. You have to stay awake.”
You shift him in your arms, trying to sit him up more when he slumps. He does little to fight you. He doesn’t have the strength to anymore.
“‘M sorry, babe,” you hear him whisper.
“No— No, don’t— Don’t fucking say that,” you scold bitterly, less angry at him and more at the rest of the world. It should’ve been you lying here, after all, not him. You’d trade places in a heartbeat if you could. “You can’t die, you asshole! How am I supposed to— fucking— keep going without you annoying the living shit outta me?”
“Henderson’ll annoy you for the both of us,” he manages to joke as life spills from the weeping wounds on his stomach.
“Fuck that. It’s not the same— I need you, Eddie. I need you, okay? I can’t— I can’t fucking live without you,” you cry over his pale, bloodied body.
You hear yelling and a set of rushed footsteps. “Eddie!” Dustin calls as he dashes down the decrepit porch steps of the old home — with Steve, Nancy, and Robin following close behind.
The sight of them makes you sigh. Your chest starts to sparkle with a hope you’d thought you lost — damn near aching when Eddie’s glassy eyes flutter open once more. 
The fucker grins weakly up at you. “I knew you had a crush on me, babe.”
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the-family-boytoy · 1 month ago
Text
big bro finding out about my special time with dad. he sticks his head in my room without knocking, as he always does, only this time he sees me, facing the door, bouncing up and down on dad- his hands gripping my hips and guiding me. at first i think hes going to do something about it, but he just stands there looking shocked. as i keep bouncing, letting out my mewling noises, his gaze locked on my chest, i watch a tent begin to form in his shorts. dad lets out a grunt and holds me up so he can thrust faster into me, and my brother startles; he quickly leaves the room, but i know he'll bring it up to me soon.
im proven right the next day when dads at work. my brother comes up to me while im watching cartoons. he stands right in front of the tv and asks how long ive been doing that with dad. i tell him im not sure, a couple months? i notice the bulge in his pants. he tells me im going to have to start doing him favours, otherwise he'll tell dad that i told him about our special time. im upset, but i agree. what choice do i have?
he makes me take out his dick, orders me to suck it. i do my best, but i haven't done this with daddy very much yet and i know im not great at it. bro watches my little butt wiggle every time i try to take him down my throat and decides he's had enough- he wants to move on. i tell him he can rub against me in my panties but he can't put it in! dad knows everything and he told me that hole is just for him. he'll know if bro puts it in and he'll be super mad.
big bro starts rubbing his cock between my legs, dragging up and down where he knows my entrance is. he slides his cock underneath my panties, watching it move between my cheeks under them as he thrusts nice and fast. finally he gets sick of them and pulls my underwear down around my knees. i remind him he can't put it in, and he says "of course, it just feels better like this"
he continues rubbing his cock on me, right against my hole, his tip catching with every thrust. he pulls back for a moment and i think he might be done, only to feel the head of his cock starting to press into my hole. "please no, dad will know! you can't put it in bro, dad's gonna know! he will i promise!" he refuses to listen and continues sliding his cock into me, little by little until he's all the way inside.
im still begging him to take it out as he starts thrusting into me, fucking me fast and hard just like dad does, grunting and groaning about how good my hole feels around him. "i dont care if dad knows i put my cock inside you. its not my fault youre such an easy slut for every man in the family." my hole is so wet his balls smack loudly against me with every thrust, yet i still try to protest in between my moans. "i bet dad wouldnt even be mad," big bro says, not slowing down, "i bet hed like watching his kids fuck like this. i bet he'd get off watching me ruin your little hole. you're so fucking wet, i think you like it too. who's cock do you like better, huh? dad's or your big brother's?" im struggling to think clearly as he pounds into me, i start crying out "dad, daddy, dad, dad" as he fucks me- answering his question or crying out for help, even i couldnt tell you.
big bro starts fucking me harder anyways. "oh you like dad better? yeah? then why are you cumming on my cock, huh? are you just that much of a slut?" and he's right, he reaches down to touch me as he quickens his pace and i cant take it. i start cumming as he fucks me, never slowing down for a second while i fall apart underneath him. "yeah thats right. thats what i fucking thought. cum on your big brothers cock. fuck, i wish dad would walk through the door right now and see you like this. i think im gonna fill you up. i bet dad would love to see his son cum inside you, wouldnt he?" his grunts get louder and his words get more and more obscene as he thrusts into me faster and faster, "yeah you want your big brothers cum? want me to fill you up just like dad does? fuck," bro says and with a few hard thrusts i feel his cum filling me up. he keeps fucking me as he cums, making sure it all stays deep inside.
our breathing begins to settle, but before bro even pulls out we hear the floor behind us creak. our dad looks down at us, a smirk on his face. "a very good opener indeed, son," he says as he starts to undo his belt, "but i think its time you get a front row seat to the main event."
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celestialtarot11 · 2 months ago
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Their naughty thoughts of you 🐚🙊
I most definitely am not apologizing for making this post 😤we all get a lil freaky sometimes. Anyway hope ya’ll enjoy! Feel free to like comment and reblog. 18+
divider creds: @fairytopea
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Pile 1: Welcome my little friend 😈 anyway ya’ll this is cute. My fluffy and sweet pile. They wanna see you self pleasure and you probably smell really good, so they really like that. They wanna see you dripped out in lingerie, or anything that makes you feel confident and just touch yourself in front of them. There’s something about that fantasy that gets them going. And they also fantasize about cuddling you, definitely have a praise kink 🙊 I am calling this person out—they’re like a teddy bear in bed and they do wanna be close to you as physically as they can. This person would romance you first 😮‍💨 and then get dirty. They care about feelings soo, booty call with feelings kinda vibe 🥺 and they also won’t hesitate to give you water whilst they’re doing you, like “hey you need some of this?” 😭 helpp. They’re funny too. I feel like even in bed they fantasize about awkward cute moments between ya’ll. This is making me gush they are cute lol. Yall could never dating or haven’t done sexual stuff yet, but they definitely think about owning your heart first and worshipping you as you are! They’d take their time and kiss everywhere and make sure you’re all comfortable in bed or where else ya’ll prefer doing the dirty 😭 I also feel like they fantasize about making you cry their name and have you be an emotional mess (in a good way) from all the pleasure. Whoo. Pile 1. There you have it 👀 a lil something spicy. Hope yall enjoyed and feel free to like comment and reblog 🤍
Pile 2: My god pile 2 is it me or is the tension hot on both sides 😭 the person you’re asking about and you. I feel like both of yall have such strong vivid imaginations and wild ideas. I heard it goes both ways, so its not one person if you need confirmation. I feel like your person idolizes you, I heard maneater so they definitely see you as someone to worship. And not just anyone but a divine being. I feel like they wanna do everything right by you—even if it means being submissive to you. They’d fall to their knees for you 😤 this is the kinda energy they’re bringing!! And we’re not complaining 🥺 love to see it. I feel they fantasize about kissing messily, grabbing each other up and pressing everywhere. And fingering, lots of exploring. They wanna feel all the juices everywhere. And I think they fantasize about blowjobs, or at least having their fluids in your mouth. They just want to see the visual of it and replay it over and over. They fantasize about sitting in a chair whilst your between their legs, and they succumb to your touch. Like you’re just their devouring them and they have no choice but to take it 😭 maneater vibes fr. And I also feel like they’re kinda shy about their fantasies which makes it cuter but they want it. They want it to happen. I think they hide it a lot from you and put on a stoic face but deep down they cant ignore their freak!! Their freak is calling them 😩 “is somebody gonna match my freak” help. Its playing in my head 😭 anyway pile 2 yall get a room and get it on or something, hope yall liked this. Feel free to like and comment and reblog 🥰
Pile 3: hey guys, what is this? Damsel in distress fantasy? 😭 guys I feel like your person has a fantasy where you come running to them and you just want in on their world. Like consumed by all their pleasure and wanting only them. Its giving they want you to be hooked and obsessed on their energy, and the way they do you. They want you coming back for more. I have no idea if anyone here is into threesomes—someone here likes that. Also getting high or drinking alcohol might be something they fantasize about. It’s also giving daddy kink like ddlg, I picked up on. I heard pet play too. Im not judging just writing whatever spirit is telling me ☕️ I feel like they dream about you joining their sex filled world. Like this person could be experienced and they fantasize about showing you all the things they know and teaching you—and its like this thing where they help you reach your release because they know your body. They know where to touch and please you. I don’t know if some of yall never had sex before, but I’m picking that vibe too. I feel like this person is possessive of you in bed and only wants your attention on them. They want you completely focused on them. Geez this is intense! 😮‍💨 it’s giving Scorpio and strong mars energy. Maybe they have a lot of mars aspects or placement in their chart. But either way—they have lots of stamina. Strong bdsm vibes. And they want to spend lots of time doing foreplay to draw it out before finally giving in. Only when you’re comfortable. Like I see a feather being trailed down your spine and teasing you—this person KNOWS. Anyway yall, be safe always & at your discretion, have fun 😈 hope yall liked! Feel free to like comment and reblog to help this blog grow.
Thank yall sm for reading! Definitely bringing in that nsfw vibe 😈 hope yall enjoyed the freakiness. 18+ only 👀
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Extra 🤍
Paid readings 🤍
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envy-of-the-apple · 2 months ago
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yan gojo falling for the mom of his friend while the milf thinks he’s in love with her daughter 😋😋😋
STOPPP THATS SO MESSSY I LOVE ITTTT
your daughter was always on the quiet side. smart. extremely smart. but didnt really have that many friends. and you were really worried when she went off to college.
in her fourth year, however, she comes back home with a huge grin on her face. shes so giggly and when you prod her for it she shyly gives out that she's met a boy and theyre doing a project together.
youre so excited for her and when she asks if he can come over to work on the project, you eagerly agree.
You greet Gojo Satoru as warmly as you can. You tell him your house is his, he can stay as long as he wants, does he want snacks? you're just so so excited for your daughter! youd do anything to make a good first impression.
unfortunately, it was too good of a first impression.
gojo never really had a mom, or any parental figure growing up. He was given whatever he wanted. when he got to college, he was just your regular spoiled rich kid.
when hes paired up with the quiet girl, its clear she has a crush on him. he plans on using that so he won't have work on the project.
but when he meets you, his world gets turned upside down. hes never had someone treat him so warmly. ask him if he'd like anything to eat. the first time at your house is the first time he's eaten homemade food that is made with care instead of the cold cullinary discipline he's used to eating.
it doesn't help that your sultry soft voice is so sweet in his ear and your body makes mini gojo wanna expand your domain. It doesn't help that there's clearly no hubby in the picture.
Gojo wants you, but for the first time in his life, he can't just have what he wants.
He knows it's wrong to pine after you. It's so complicated and fucked up.
He starts dating your daughter, mostly to try to get over you. You two are pretty similiar. But her lips remind him of yours. And then hes thinking of you again.
he cant help it. one day, he gets drunk, drives to your place and confesses his love.
Appalled, you reject him, obviously. Heartbroken, he breaks up with your daughter. They were just days away from graduating anyway. She has a job lined up across the country. They never have to see eachother again.
and now, you have no excuses (his logic; not the milfs)
he saunters into your place like he owns it. You tell him to leave. He tells you that he'll tell everyone that a 40-something woman came onto him. That shuts you up.
He thinks that after having you for just one night will be enough. It isn't. after your third night together he tells you he'd make a great step dad.
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percyluvr · 9 months ago
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helloooooo!!!! can i request a percy jackson x daughter of hera!reader headcanons?? it would be pretty interesting to see hera having a child tbh
thank you if you do 💛
percy jackson x daughter of hera!reader summary: hcs for percy with a daughter of hera
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when he first met you he was kinda worried bc he has beef with hera
but he's also confused bc wasn't she not supposed to have kids??
he expected you to be just like your mom
and you lowkey were
but you were a bit less.. uptight
but at the same time, u cant really blame her, her husband literally cheats on her so much
BUT ANYWAYS
i think u'd be so caring to him and he would love it SO MUCH
since hera is the goddess of marriage and childbirth, u would lowk take care of him like hes ur son
but like not in a weird way
u just care ab him so much that u baby him all the time
since both of ur cabins are always empty except for each other, u have sleepovers all the time
u have a pretty close relationship w ur mom, esp because ur her only demigod kid
percy isnt really jealous per say, bc he's decently close w poseidon, but like
he wishes he was that close with him
hera visits u in ur dreams a LOT bc she just loves u a lot
zeus is mad but she dgaf cuz ur her only daughter
and only kid
so obviously she's protective
esp when u tell her that u and percy r dating
shes at camp the next day asking u to introduce her to him
which ur like "mom pls y'all have already met"
and shes like "yes, but never when he was ur bf"
so u just go along w it bc u love her
they're lowk beefing bc she doesnt want u to get hurt
but as time goes on she realizes how much percy loves u and cares abt u
and she thinks ur the cutest couple ever
she is ready for yall to get married bc shes gonna throw the most extravagant and perfect wedding
and shes so excited esp bc ur the only kid she's going to be able to do this for
have i mentioned that she loves u a lot?
ANYWAYS
yk how in like house of hades and i think chalice of the gods when percy looks at annabeth and is js like "i cant wait to marry her and have kids"
yeah, hes like that but 300000x
and he's so excited bc he knows that ur gonna be SUCH a good mom
people always think ur weak bc ur mom "lets herself get cheated on"
or whatever dumbass shit they be saying
but u prove them wrong
mothers r fr the most powerful people in the UNIVERSE
and ur basically a mother bc u take care of everyone at camp
ur always at the infirmary helping the apollo kids bc its just in ur nature to love taking care of people
and percy always comes in with even the smallest little injuries
and it just warms ur heart to know that he wants to come see u even when ur working
u take care of the little baby pegasi too omg
gn thats so cute
imagine if blackjack had a lil baby pegasi and u took care of it
and percy is just like
melting
ur so sweet to them even if theyre "just horses"
it makes him so excited to have kids w u
whenever u see a little kid
or like a younger camper
u always tell him that u cant wait to go to new rome uni and then get married and have kids w him
the two of u are just so excited for the future with each other fr
i just think the two of u would be taking care of the pegasi and u would fall asleep in the hay after staying up talking
big surprise for the kids that have riding lessons that morning...
yall werent embarrassed tho cuz u have no shame fr
well, u have shame
percy has none
not the point.
everyone at camp sorta sees u as a mother and they always come to u
lowk camp therapist
bc they NEED one real bad
but it doesnt bother u bc u love to help them
ur always trying to fix problems at camp
and its very upsetting for you when you cant, and percy is always there to comfort u
ur lowk a meddler like ur mom
but its okay bc ur just worried about ur friends
i think that u would maybe have some soothing powers kinda like a hypnos kid, where u can like calm people down or put them to sleep
i also think that percy would suffer from panic attacks after his nightmares
so after he has a nightmare, you're there and if you can't soothe him with your words you just use ur powers
u can't stand to see him like that
it just upsets you so much
percy is so grateful for ur powers, but hes even more grateful for you
i think ur a lot more relaxed than most people at camp
and u dont really see the point in doing dangerous things for fun
which is different for percy, but he really does like it
he likes that he can just go to you and ask to relax and ur always down for that
its a change of pace that is definitely welcome and necessary in his life
ur definitely more of a rational thinker than him, so u stop him from doing some pretty stupid things
but u would never stop him from having fun
or doing thing that are important to him
ur relationship is lowk the blue print
yall just take care of each other fr
and ur like an old married couple which u two get teased ab
but u dont care
cuz u cant wait to get married lol!
a/n: this was a vv interesting request to write and i honestly loved imagining what a child of hera would be like so thank u for the req!
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beenbaanbuun · 8 months ago
Text
birthday present w/ yunho
words - …
genre - smut
warnings - degradation, dumbification, free use, mentions of collaring, choking, marking
you can’t help but feel a little nervous as yunho stumbles into your apartment all bright eyed and giddy
he kicks his shoes off in a hurry before practically running over to the sofa and vaulting it so he can get ti you
you can barely mutter out a ‘happy birthday,’ before his mouth is on yours, silencing you with a gentle kiss
it’s soft and sweet, and you melt into it - melt into him - leaning against his chest before he pulls away with a giggle
he takes the opportunity to tug you into his side, tucking you beneath his arm and pressing another kiss to the crown of your head
“thank you, sweetheart,” he practically giggles into your ear, “cant believe i’m so old this year.”
you can only giggle as he continues to joke, telling you all about the nursing home he wants you to put him in
it isn’t until you shift the hand holding the envelope with his gift in that his words peter out, and he gives you an excited look
“is that for me?” he points to the envelope and you nod, “can i have it?”
with an anxious smile you pass it to him
he marvels it as if it’s the most precious thing in the world, as if he’s never seen an envelope before
“sorry it isn’t very big,” you cuddle up into him, loving the way his voice fills his chest and rumbles against your ear, filling up your brain with warmth
“you think i need anything big?” he grins down at you, “you could give me a lump of coal and i’d be happy because it’s from you.”
cheesy boy, you think to yourself; it’s cute, and you savour the moment knowing it won’t last
not after he’s seen your gift to him anyway…
he tears into the envelope, briefly cooing at the cute card you’d given him until the little pink slip inside it catches his eye
you’d spent a few hours decorating it last night, making it look all pretty as if he even cared about the design of it
as if he cared about anything other than the three words written across it in cursive
he pulls it out and his breath audibly hitches in his throat
“f-free use coupon,” he stutters, words garbling as they fall from his lips, “you mean… like actual free use? whenever i want?
your anxiety rests deep in your chest as he stares at you with his jaw hanging open
still, you find it in you to nod, a pretty hum falling from your lips as you let him know that that’s exactly what it means; whenever he wants
“from now until the same time tomorrow,” you chew on your lip, “you can use me whenever, however you want.”
a groan falls from his lips at your answer, low and deep; he covers it with a cough but you still hear it
then you notice the way he shuffles his hips to accommodate the tent growing beneath his sweats, desperately trying to make it seem less obvious
clearly he’s more into the idea of using you for his own pleasure than you originally thought
not that you shouldn’t have expected this; one of yunho’s favourite things to do it move you around like his own personal rag doll
his big hands all over you as he flips you over and holds you open for him
one hand on the back of your head as he pressed your face into a pillow, the other resting on your hips, angling them perfectly so he can slam into you over and over again
the memories send a needy shiver down your spine, so you force them away and instead focus back on the present…
“are you sure, sweetheart?” his voice is deeper when he speaks, and it’s clear he’s trying to keep the horniness at bay
“i wouldn’t be giving this to you if i wasn’t sure, yuyu,” you say, a cheeky grin on your face, “i am your gift; mind, body and soul.”
at the thought of you being entirely his, he groans again, but this time he doesn’t bother to hide it
it goes straight to your core, dampening it slightly
“well i guess you won’t need your clothes,” he says through his moan, voice coming out whiny and pretty, “if i have access to your body for 24 hours, then i want real access, pup.”
… pup
that nickname goes straight to your core too
he only ever calls you that when he’s being mean in bed, tone dripping with condescension as he puts you in your place and dumbs you down to nothing
you stare at him with wide eyes as your hole involuntarily clenches; you have to admit that you love nothing more than when yunho is mean
“don’t just stare at me with those big, dumb eyes,” he smirks as your hands immediately fly to the button of your jeans, “that’s my good girl.”
you’re melting already, and yunho knows it
he must have a mental list of all the buttons he has to push to get you all pliant and obedient
not that it really takes much; you’re obedient for him most of the time
there’s just something about his deep voice drawling out a ‘good girl,’ that sends shivers running through your body
and when he holds out his hand to take possession on your panties, you don’t even think twice before putting them gently in his palm
you’re his good girl after all!
he brings them to his nose and takes a sniff, inhaling the musky scent of your juices; you turn shy at the sight of his eyes fluttering closed
“sweet as always, tiny,” he mumbles as he pulls them away and tucks them into his back pocket, “i bet you taste just as good, right? so yummy for me…”
a hand flies to your core, a single finger swiping through your folds to collect the juices that are starting to gather there
he smears them around, avoiding the sensitive nub that throbs in need; he doesn’t quite want to give into you just yet
he pulls it away after mere moments and wastes little time in slipping it into his mouth, moaning as he swirls his tongue around his digit
he pulls it out with a pop and an adorable, lop-sided grin forms on his lips
in any other circumstance it would be cute; right now it just makes you feel tiny
“your pussy is my favourite flavour, pup,” he says, “but i’ll save eating it until later, yeah? i have got all day, after all.”
he puts a hand on your shoulder and pushes you until you’re flat against the couch, naked and exposed underneath him
he begins to move, shuffling until he’s towering over you making you feel even smaller beneath him
large hands land on either side of your head as he crawls over you, aligning his pelvis with your own
he grinds down once on your clothed pussy, his own grunt harmonising with your soft moan; the two of you sound like you are meant for one another
“i don’t think this gift was really for me,” he whispers as he grinds down again, harder this time, “i think this is just some twisted little fantasy of yours.”
his lips are on your neck in seconds, nibbling, biting and licking all over the sensitive flesh
no doubt you’d have marks aplenty by the time the 24 hours are over; hickeys and teeth marks littering your chest, your thighs, and anywhere else he can put his lips
there’s just something about seeing you covered in the physical proof that you are his that drives him absolutely wild
in fact, he’s often found himself in a pet store looking at their collection of dog collars and wondering which one would fit your pretty neck
it’s a nice thought, but for some reason it feels so much nicer to see you in a collar made of his hickeys instead
besides, it’s not like his hand wouldn’t do a similar job anyway, his fist wrapped around your throat, pinning you to his chest as he desperately fucks into you from behind
“i thought you’d appreciate it,” you whimper as his sweats work hard to spread your wetness around
“and i do, pup,” he grunts, “but your wet little pussy is telling me just how bad you want this; to be my personal cocksleave whenever i want.”
he pushes his sweats down just enough for his cock to spring free, painting your stomach with a splatter of pre-cum
“you’re my greedy little pup, aren’t you?”
he lines himself up and pushes himself in with one long, hard stroke
it makes you cry out as his tip rams against your cervix; he kisses you to swallow the sound
and when he pulls away, just seconds later, he begins to pull out again
you moan as he finds his rhythm, moving in and out at a painfully languid pace
hard and slow, each thrust fills you perfectly to the brim with yunho before he pulls back out and repeats
“but that’s okay, greedy little pup,” he grins as he stills deep inside of you, “i have all day to satiate you, don’t i?”
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star-girl69 · 9 months ago
Note
As much as I love overprotective Clarisse which believe me I DO😍😍 am I the only one who kinda wants to see a protective reader if something happens to Clarisse or even Ivy?!
I feel like Clarisse may just sit back and be Yh that’s my girl 🤭
Literally kicking my feet and giggling while writing this
Also I love your writing so much it’s so goodddd I check my phone for any new posts all the time and scream when you do
TYSMMMMM BAE ILY!!!!!! been in a writing slump recently. someone else please write a mind bogglingly good clarisse fic to inspire me again. lord give me strength…
forget the fact this is 2 days late. thank y’all 🙏🙏
anyways officially adding danny to the perfect family bc I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!
ok so imagine this
clarisse is participating in some sort of contest
like
idk roman gladiators LMAOOOO
but basically it’s like a big tournament? and yk she’s destroying eating it up cooking, whatever you will
finally she gets to like the semi-finals and atp everyone kinda knows she has it in the bag
her opponents are scared
(trust an underground betting ring was formed. everyone who bet on clarisse is thanking the gods and everyone who didn’t is shaking in their boots)
clarisse is happy bc you and the twins (danny and ivy)
are sitting right in the front row cheering her on
and she got a wonderful good luck kiss from you
so not only is she happy and thinking about that but also she’s convinced that she’ll win just bc she got a kiss from you
so the fight starts, ivy is genuinely SCREECHING at the top of her lungs she’s so me she can’t be normal about anything ever
and you and danny are just regularly cheering for her 😭
eventually someone behind you tells ivy to shut up
YOU WHIP AROUND BC WTF???
harshest death glare in the universe. like even zeus would be a little scared.
ivy doesn’t even notice she’s chill
the other person quickly shuts the fuck up.
then you turn back to watch clarisse and the fights just starting, the other dude is scared and knows his ass barely stands a chance
she’s having fun pummeling him
ugh fight scenes are hard to write
so eventually she tosses his ass to the floor
“GO MOM GO GO GO BEAT HIS ASS MOM BEAT. HIS. ASS.”
“IVY STOP FUCKING SWEARING”
and this dude, who’s laid on the ground, who knows he’s cooked, decides the best option is to grab some dirt and throw it in clarisse’s face
and no one was prepared for this
like clarisse was standing over him with her spear at his throat, smile on her face, everyone knew he was done for- THEN HE DECIDES TO PLAY DIRTY AND DO THIS???
like everyone thought clarisse had it in the bag
the rules for this competition were that you’re not allowed to use anything but your person and/or pre-approved weapon(s)
NOT EVEN CLARISSE WAS EXPECTING IT
SO SHES DISTRACTED BY THE FREAKING DIRT IN HER FACE
SO WHEN THIS BITCH KICKS HER SHE GOES DOWN
DEAD SILENT!!!!!!!
EVERYONE GASPS!!!!!!!
whispers in the crowd… “oh bro is cooked…”
(sorry i’m obsessed w saying cooked rn)
and he is cooked
but by someone unexpected.
clarisse is wiping the dirt off of her face swallowing her shame she can’t believe she got distracted and let herself fall she should have saw it coming but suddenly she hears someone screaming
she opens her eyes and sees you menacingly walking towards this dude, who’s still on the ground and scrambling away
and what’s funny it you’re yelling at him like a mother would
the crowd is giggling…
“THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES. WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT MANNERS??? WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT DECENCY??? SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOUR PARENTS SHAME SHAME SHAME”
clarisse is literally sitting there mouth dropped open when you grab his ear and he HOWLS
dragging him back towards clarisse, he’s kicking and screaming and literally CRYING
“HELP HELP HELP ME HELP SHE CANT SO THIS SHE CANT I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG”
“YES THE FUCK I CAN YOU BROKE THE FUCKING RULES NOW APOLOGIZE YOU LAWLESS SWINE”
“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING PLEASE I DIDNT”
one of the apollo kids who organized the event is looking around (kinda enjoying it) but mostly very scared
“technically you did break the rules… sorry pal…”
“PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME”
obviously, this is the hottest thing clarisse has ever seen in her life.
she’s sitting back on her palms, watching in utter amazement, trying not to bite her lip
someone loving clarisse… that gets her going
someone loving clarisse enough to PROTECT HER??? she’s about to explode. EXPLODE. she’s never needed you so bad in her life LMAOOOO 😭
and this bitch is STILL refusing to apologize
like damn it’s not that hard… it’s not like you have any pride left to speak of you just got dragged around by the ear 😭😭 bro you’re cooked just apologize and get out while you can
AND YOU’RE GETTING FED UP WITH IT TOO
“hey, dumbass, why don’t you look at the stands?”
you point, and everyone follows your finger.
ivy is a literal cartoonish whirl of her pink t-shirt and the white shorts with the little trees on them
danny is holding her back (with ease, might i add he’s strong as fuck 💪)
“i’ll let her out.”
“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING-”
“LET HER OUT”
he barely escapes that attack.
when you finally call ivy off of her attack, she stands next to clarisse, literally growls at the dude, before hugging clarisse
clarisse is still on the ground in utter shock.
she can’t keep her eyes away from you and ivy. she can’t get rid of the GLOWING feeling in her chest
is this… what it’s like… to be loved?
WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH BITCH NOW IM THE ONE CRYING NOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭
danny eventually walks over and helps her up
then they all watch as you smile sweetly at this very traumatized dude and ask if he’s ready to apologize
“IMMSORRUOHGOEE IMSORHR ESEBIMS YORUUE”
(i’m sorry oh gods im sorry i’m sorry”
then you walk over to clarisse, rolling your eyes and mumbling about bad parenting, girl she pounces on you.
kisses you so hard in front of everyone
ivy and danny are hugging each other and shielding each other’s eyes, screaming, begging for you two to stop
“y/n” she breathes as she pulls away “you are… the most amazing mother, the most amazing girlfriend, and literally the love of my fucking life.”
literally twirling your hair “omg baeeeee you’re too sweet 🤭”
(y’all don’t end up leaving her cabin for a LONG time.)
after this clarisse definitely sort of realizes a whole new side of your relationship. seeing you publicly defend her like that, publicly care about her, love her, omg she is going crazy for you!!!
after this incident she definitely stops calling you her gf.
gives you a really pretty ring she got one of the hephaestus kids to make, starts calling you her wife
and nobody better have a problem w that lol or else they got two ares killing machines, one feral attack dog, and a literal mother who is not afraid to drag you by your ear.
—-
taglist:
@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1
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randombush3 · 6 months ago
Text
the end of the world
alexia putellas x reader
summary: just another one of those toxic relationships (based on 'i want you' by mitski, except i don't know the song very well and went a bit off topic)
notes: me? posting incoherent rambling that i refuse to read again? never.
i couldn't be bothered to fish out my journal or whatever
OH ALSO pls ignore the car. i'm not sure how i feel about the fucking toyota yet.
[...]
You want her. 
Alexia is in between your tensing thighs, strong and steady where you tremble and shake. Hands slide up your canting hips; her tongue through your slick folds. The pressure she bears down on you is almost to take, but you take it anyway. You’d take anything for her. 
You want her, and you know you were never supposed to, but that was a risk you took. You’ll be whipped for it, if not lashed by her tongue then by the agonising cane of her absence. She has been clear about what she herself desires, wants. Unashamed to crave your body, her silence has always met your probe for something more. 
You want to tell her about it, too, as she works so relentlessly, so diligently; as blonde hair suffocates your fingers, winding around them like pythons (dead pythons that you force to constrict, mind).
“I think I’m falling in love with you,” you’d say, and the sole card pressed against your bare chest would flutter to the floor. Its patterned back would mercilessly disappear, revealing the worth of your hand. 
It would be a joker. 
Jokers aren’t allowed in this game – whatever it is you’ve got going with Alexia. The rules are fuzzy, a deliberate haze in your mind that acts as some suicidal fog, but this one is obvious. She couldn’t make it more obvious. 
Jokers are also foolish idiots. The dealer was sick and twisted, but the dealer was Alexia and Alexia is between your legs, and Alexia makes you feel both good and bad. Alexia, with a mouth that rivals her other talents, and her fingers that slide into you with such smug entitlement that you can’t help but whimper. 
You beg her for more – what an addict you are – but she decides it is impossible to give you it, and then she is gone. 
But she’s never really gone. 
You crawl into the shower, sobbing. You’re not sure why you are sobbing, nor how you got here, but the only difference between your tears and the droplets of water falling from the shiny head is that one was asked for. Wanted back. And Alexia’s fucked you up properly this time, because you are comparing yourself to a fucking showerhead. 
Is that how worthless she has made you feel? Is this her punishment for you? 
“We’re starting over.” It sounds out from your doorway. You fall to your knees before she crosses the threshold into your apartment. You’re begging her, but, eyes narrowed and unimpressed, she ignores what you mean, nudging you backwards so that the door can close behind her and you can press her against it. Eagerly, she keens into your mouth, holding your head in place. 
You move your lips with your question but there is no answer in her whine of pleasure. You spell it out and she is unaware, and you could scream it at her, you realise, if you’d like. She’d meet your burning throat with her mouth placed on your skin wrapping around the tunnel into the soul you are trying to bear to her. Your voice would go hoarse but she would be deaf to the words you would repeat. 
And it is your apartment she is in, but you are driving away. There is a car parked outside; a nice, shiny Toyota with decent mileage and a full tank of diesel. The seats are unused and they criticise you for it; why didn’t you make an escape earlier? Alexia is in the house and you are in the car, and the roads are wet like your face as though the sky’s copious amount of weeping is mocking you for being so fucking pathetic. The tyres screech and scratch and the bends grow windier as you drive far away. 
Someplace quiet, you think. A field, empty and far from the constraint of Alexia’s city. You scream, out in the open, “how I love you!” But ‘you’ is only the birds that fly away in terror, ‘you’ is the wind that carries your curse into other lands. 
“I want you,” Alexia gasps. 
You’re not actually in the field – don’t be stupid. Why would you get to be anywhere other than where Alexia has put you? 
“I want you too,” you could reply, turning her words against her because it is her power that will shatter the house of glass she has built around herself. The flip would be unexpected; it would shock her. She’d maybe… run? 
From herself. From you. From many other things that she hides in her glass house – plainly in sight but unreachable and untouchable. If the door were to open, your steps would lead to your death: there is no floor here.
You’d keep falling and falling and falling and tumbling and falling. You’d never reach the bottom of the bottomless pit, because no one is supposed to even try. 
Alexia is in the house and you are in the car. 
Alexia, crystal glass, has value. Yours diminishes the further you go from her. 
But you want her. Oh, how you want her. 
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mythicmanuscripts · 3 months ago
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weird idea but aegon x vampire reader. reader feeeing of hil etc.
thx xoxo
So I went all the way to the bottom of my askbox and I discovered this absolute masterpiece of a question. I love this, 10/10. I'm tag this with 'Aegon x vampire!reader' so that we can discuss it more under the same tag and also so if you arent interested then just block that tag. I think I'm also going to make a larger tag of 'hotd supernatural!au' so that we can possibly discuss other stuff about this? (Sidenote: both aemond and rhaenyra/daemon would LOVE to be with a witch)
Anyway, NSFW sub!aegon with vampire reader below the cut
So firstly, you know how some people say they don't get the dear over vampires because if a hot person wanted to suck their blood and fuck them then they'd love it? Yeah that's aegon, absolutely zero reservations he realises he's caught the attention of a very attractive vampire and he drives in headfirst.
I think this makes the most sense if the supernatural were normal in this au, but I think vampires would still have a pretty bad rep? They're known for being lone wolfs who use people and can easily hurt others and generally dont tend to be seen very often.
You notice Aegon for the first time at a pub, and of course he's surrounded by people because he's the king. He looks around the room at one point and spots you in the shadows. He's not sure what makes him do it, but he decides to go over to you.
You know who he is of course, but you don't address him as 'your grace' and instead just chuckle and call him pretty boy. Which... from that moment he's hooked.
You end up in his bed at the red keep, and you don't even feed off him that night, instead it's just sex. Which... you may have just ruined Aegon for everyone else because he's pretty sure he saw god during his third orgasm. You completely wreck him, turning him into a whining, shivering mess who cant even speak properly.
You dont leave then of course, because he's far too sweet for that, and you stay to give him aftercare. You intend to leave once he's calmed down, but then he falls asleep in your arms and you can't bring yourself to risk waking him up by leaving. So you end up sleeping with him for the night.
He's awake when you wake up the next morning, but he's still in your arms.
Vampires are known to be very strong and very dangerous, and logically Aegon knows he should feel scared being this close and vulnerable with one, but it's actually the opposite. He knows how strong and dangerous you are and he feels so much safer for it? He knows you'll protect him, even though he's just met you he's certain of it.
Once you wake up, you quickly realise you have a slight problem. You hadnt intended to spend the night, and you should have fed at least a little last night (instead you just fucked the king, which, fair enough).
Aegon is worried when you push him out of your arms, and he's looking at you with these wide puppy eyes and batting at your arms, trying to get you to open them again. He's just very needy little thing.
You tell him that you loved the night before and he was perfect, but now you have to get going because you haven't fed in a while. You expect this to be a good enough reason, but it's not to him. When he hears that, he simply holds his arm out for you, wrist up.
You push it away and look away from him, not wanting to lose control but he's insistent. You rocked his world the night before, and he wants to help!! I knows you won't kill him, so he wants to help!
You give in, even though you know you shouldn't, and end up drinking from him. If there's one thing Aegon didnt expect, it's how good it felt? It feels insane, so so so good.
You don't drink much out of fear of hurting him, but you drink enough and the moment you pull away, aegon is moving forwards and back into your arms.
Needless to say, you return to the castle very often.
(Sidenote: what about the reverse of this with Aemond? He's the vampire and he pretty much just follows the reader around like a lost puppy. He won't feed from anyone else, he'd rather starve than feed from another)
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rodolfoparras · 11 months ago
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okay i have this issue where my zoloft makes me like… really sweaty for some reason??? just all the time night or day hot or cold. anyways i was just thinking abt reader who has something like that and is always trying to shower before price can tell meanwhile price whi is just Obsessed with how his sweaty bf smells 😩
i want to send more anons but i get nervous… but could i be 🐶 or 🐾 anon?
Pairing: John Price x Male Reader
Cw: 18+, scent kink, somnophilia,
Price would rather be caught dead than to openly admit this but he loves the way you smell.
And while many may say that they feel the same way about their own partners, they probably haven’t gotten hard just from their partner’s sweat and musk. They probably haven’t had their nose buried deep in one of their partner’s dirty gym shirts or worn work uniform while jerking off. They probably haven’t spent hours buried between their partner’s legs because they liked the way their partner’s cologne or lotion smelled.
Yeah Price would rather be caught dead than admit to any of it.
And while a part of him feels guilty for not telling you about it another part of him cant help but find it exciting
You’ll happily let him cuddle up in your embrace after a long day, completely unaware of the thoughts rushing through his head. You don’t say a thing when you notice most of your clothes missing, and you’ll happily let him suck you off, not putting much thought into what’s gotten him so worked up.
But you find out soon enough.
It’s when you get home from work one day, limbs aching, and in need of sleep but before you can do so you desperately need to get under a hot stream.
However Price is adamant on getting you in bed, and while you’d happily stumble into the sheets with him, he had made it clear that he just wants to sleep.
“Let’s just go to bed” he says, wrapping an arm around your waist and gently nudging you over to the bed.
“But I’ll be quick, I promise, give me like 5 minutes,” you insist, not budging an inch.
“Don’t you think I know you kid? You’ll wake up the whole neighborhood by the time you’re done, besides I don’t get what’s the issue here,” Price says while folding his arms across his chest
“The issue is that I stink” you say thinking that will be enough to convince him.
“Not like you’re going anywhere anyways” You raise a brow at his words, and he only mirrors your action in response.
“Fine you win” you say with a roll of your eyes trying your best to hide your smile . “But if I hear any complaining about how I smell I’m kicking you out of bed,”
“Just turn the lights off, will you?” He says with a chuckle before he lays down.
“Yeah yeah” is all you say as you discard your pants and Price takes a second to appreciate the view before the room is engulfed in darkness.
As soon as you lay down in bed he crawls up into your embrace, burying his head in your neck while wrapping his arms around your waist.
Price let’s out a relived sigh.
This is all he’d wanted today, to feel your warm skin press up against him, to hear your heartbeat against his ear and to have your smell engulf his senses.
He feels relaxed, at ease, should be falling asleep but instead he feels his cock twitching in attention
Fuck.
Price’s eyes snap open, cerulean eyes gazing into the darkness, painfully aware of the way blood is pooling to his lower half all of a sudden.
You on the other hand, are dead asleep next to him. He can hear the soft snores escaping your lips.
Price can't blame you. It’s been a long day for you. He too should go to sleep, but instead he’s painfully hard because he can smell you all over him.
How fucking embarrassing.
Price scoffs at himself, tries to pull away from your embrace but just as he tries to do so you tighten your arms around his waist.
Great.
Price exhales, squeezes his eyes shut, tries to scramble his brain for anything that might kill his boner but it’s practically impossible when he’s a hair away from your pit, engulfed in the smell of your cologne and the sweat that’s still sticking to your skin.
On top of that he’s got his hard on firmly pressed up against your very naked thighs.
He can’t think about anything other than about how much he needs you right now.
I really wouldn’t mind if you woke me up during the night or you know, if you didn’t..
The words you had once said to him ring through his head, and for a second he wonders if he should take you up on the offer. I mean you did said you wouldn’t mind it but…
Before he can register what he’s doing, he starts moving his hips, eyes fluttering shut as needy noises start escaping his lips.
It’s disgusting
it’s wrong
He shouldn’t be doing this
But he can’t get himself to stop moving his hips.
Whines and whimpers escape his lips as he continues to rock his hips, head burying deeper in your chest and engulfing himself in your scent completely.
You’re still asleep going by your soft snores and the way you lay lax next to him. Something about the fact that you’re unaware of what he’s doing has goosebumps rising across his skin, and slowly but surely he feels himself inching closer to his release.
“Please,” he croaks out just the way he would if he was riding your cock right now and that’s all it takes before he’s tipping over the edge, coming with a cry and soiling his sweats.
“John?” He hears your sleep coated voice trickle through the dark.
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