#anyways yea i finished a trial day then went to bed

[spoonmoment119]

Did you sleep

i tried /lying

[firewoodfigs]

##

[theebaudelaire]

Yogurt

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

You call a truce between you and Wanda Maximoff.

Word Count: 1,903 (not sure because I had little trouble copying and pasting it)

AN: First time writing So it won’t be the best. Think of this as a trial run you know testing the waters a bit . Anyway I hope you’re okay with this. I tried my best to write in G!n Reader instead of fem. I might’ve missed some mistakes

Wanda Maximoff, How do we even start describing her?

She’s good company to have around, She is a great cook. She is lovely but it seems like she doesn’t trust me as much as out teammates.

First, Clint is like a dad to her. Second, Nat is her sister she never had. Third, Steve is a uncle in a sort of way. Fourth, Vision Don’t even get me started on him. He’s a droid alright but Wanda seems to have more respect for him. Lastly, (Y/n) Mhm Sad Y/N.

Wanda treated them like a friend she had just met. Someone she knows but not sure she could trust them.

Yes I am talking about me, I would say I’m an alright person to be around. If I was someone else besides me, I would be best friends with me. I wasn’t good with holding down conversations but who cares, Am i right? I feel like I’m a tad bit overconfident in myself right now but that doesn’t harm anyone.

The whole team seemed to trust me the first few weeks I was here but Wanda still seems like she never got around me. But a whole different story for Pietro, Me and Him got along fine. NO NO!, GREATLY THATS THE WORD. You never thought a cocky guy would be best friends with a diffident person. A weird match but it helped me get out my shell a bit.

Me and speedy would do a lot of pranks on the team, Harmless pranks to be exact. On this lovely sunny day we were gonna do another to you know ruffle someone’s feathers a bit. So we of course woke up early but Romanoff of course beat us to it.

“Y/L/N! What are you doing up this early dear?”Natasha says when I walk into the kitchen. She gives me that infamous smirk that she always does.

“You know.. Training! Training with Piet.”

She hums contently and looks at me “Alright Be safe!” I walk out the kitchen and lead to P’s room.

“Y/N! Did you get it?”

“No, Nats there” Pietro looks at me for a while and speeds past me. He comes back before I could even move from my spot.

“I got it!” Pietro hands me the Mayo Jar and Some Yogurts.

“So how do I start on this?” I look at Pietro

He says “Clean out the yogurt and Scoop some Mayo to put it in there.”

“Alright!” I walk to the bathroom and clean out one of the yogurts and hand them to Pietro. After a few minutes we have finished most of the yogurts. Pietro speeds off to them back in the fridge while I am heading back to my room. I take off my shirt and get into bed. After a few minutes of silence, Pietro knocks at my door. I walk up to the door and open but I hear a different voice from his.

“Y/N” Wanda says, I look up at her. “Wanda! H-How are you doing today?” I say as I lean against the wall hopefully feeling cooling than I think. She laughed, I didn’t think that I was that stupid looking. She cleared her throat and I looked back at her. Her leafy eyes was looking straight at me. There was silence between us for a while now.

“Y/N! Wanda!” Pietro says, Me and Wanda both break from the unspoken staring contest to look up at him. “Hey! Piet What’s up?” I was the first to speak up

“Hello Pietro” Wanda said right after. Pietro looked at me and back at her. “Why is your shirt off?” I look down my torso and realize why it had become awkward between Me and Wanda.

“Oh I was just taking a nap the shirt I wore was kinda smelly from being around you P!” I walked back into my room and went to put on a new shirt from closet. I walk back out to the Maximoff Twins. We walk to the lounge and Wanda walks in front of us.

“What was up with you and Wanda?” Pietro asks

“She just knocked on my door, I think she needed to say something before you interrupted.”

“Ask Her”

“What?, why won’t you ask her she’s your twin.”

“Yeah but she’s the one who she wanted to talk to and plus maybe you can tell her about your crush on her.”

“No, I have no idea of what you’re talking about.. I don’t like your sister. I thought about it for a while. Yeah I think she is attractive but I wouldn’t date her. It’s not like I would melt like ice cream in the sun around her. I got lost in my train of thought and bumped right straight to her. I looked up at her and She looked right back at me.

Oh I was wrong. I got lost in every detail of her face. Her green eyes and Her-

Wanda snapped her fingers and said “Are you okay?”

“Yes! absolutely I am just gonna get a yogurt. You want one?”

“Sure, Yea” I walked out and got two yogurts out the fridge. I walked back to the lounge and threw one yogurt at Wanda. I sat down next to Pietro and cleared my throat.

“Hey, You walked so fast I wasn’t able to catch up.” Piet said and laughed.

“I think you’re right.” I opened the strawberry yogurt and sighed.

“Wait.. You like my sister!?” He smiled and looked at Wanda.

“Yes Maybe, I’m not sure but I think I do.”

“I think she’s gonna hate you.”

“Why? I’m an okay person to be with.”

“Yes, I agree on that but yogurt.” He points at her while she was opening the yogurt.

“What?… oh OH!” I practically yelled at this point. She looked up at me curiously.

“Wanda, Maybe we should trade yogurts. I’m not a big fan of strawberry. “Sure.” she replied and gave me the Mayo filled yogurt. She went back to reading her book.

“Pietro, help me out here.”

“No, can do my friend. You’re on your own for this one. He stood up and walked to his sister. They spoke in their native language for a few seconds and Wanda stood and sat down next to me. I tensed as soon as she sat down. Pietro noticed and said “Wanda, Me and Y/N have to do something really fast, We’ll be back in a couple of seconds.

I stood up and asked “Hey, It felt rude to just switch yogurts so you can also have this one.” I handed Wanda the container of “yogurt”. I walked with Pietro and he laughed.

“Why are you laughing at me?”

“Yogurt.”

“Yogurt? Oh my, WHY WOULD YOU LET ME DO THAT.” P laughed at me and I ran back in. Just as soon I went in, Wanda brought a scoop up to her mouth and expecting the delicious taste of vanilla yogurt. But that never happened, Instead She was greeted with the taste of Mayo. She spit it out and glared at me.

“Hey! Wanda, uhm don’t get mad but-”

“Y/N if you don’t start running now you’re dead” She said with no hint of playfulness. I zoomed right out almost as fast as speedy. I ran to Pietro’s room and He giggled.

“I’m dead”

“No you’re not, she’s just messing around. Plus it’s not like she can kill you.”

“P, she can move things with her mind and has deadly red things that can kill hold someone hostage.”

“Mhm, You wouldn’t mind if she kept you hostage though.” He smiled lightly while I turned slightly red.

“How do i fix this?” Pietro walked up from his bed.

“Do something cheesy. Like something from the shows she watches.”

“I don’t watch a lot of shows so what’s something simple i can do?”

“Here!, Get her some snacks and call a truce.” He hands me a couple of dollars.

“What does she like?”

“You’re smart, You’ll figure it out.”

“That was so helpful.” I walk out his room and heads to mine. I grab a hoodie and head outside to borrow one of Tony’s cars. I sit in the driver seat not knowing what to do but it dawned over me. Something from Sokovia. I sure she misses it especially after it got destroyed.

I drove two hours and a half to arrive at this little shop that sold Sokovia treats. On my way back I picked up some dvds of shows Pietro mentioned before like The Dick Van Dyke show, Bewitched, I Love Lucy and The Brady Bunch. I put them all in the basket and headed to Pietro’s room.

“What do you think?” I smiled

He smirked at me “I think it looks great.. You know you could’ve just wrapped yourself in wrapping paper and I could’ve dropped you off I think she would like that better.”

I laughed “Haha So funny. I’m gonna give it to her now.”

“Better move fast don’t want her to fall asleep now.”

I checked the time, It read 10:12 PM. Funny how fast the day went by. I walked up to her room and took a deep breath before I knocked. She opened the door and her eyebrows slightly lifted.

“Y/LN? What are you doing here? Are you gonna bring another yogurt because if you are I don’t want any.” She said with a slight of bitterness and was about to close the door.

“Wait.” I stopped the door with my hand and continued “ I want to call a truce and I have something for you.”

“And what is it?” She asked curiously. I raised the basket full of Sokovia Treats and some dvds.

“I’m sorry for that I just got caught up with something and I didn’t realize it before Pietro reminded me.” I gave her the basket. She examined the basket and gave me a weird look.

“And also I didn’t do anything bad to the basket so don’t worry.” I was getting ready to leave but then she stopped me.

“Hey, Do you wanna come inside and watch this with me.” She said holding one of the DVD’s

“Ye-Yeah sure.” She stepped away from the door and let me in.

A few months after that we fell into a routine. I would come to her room and watch a movie or a show that I haven’t seen before and talk.

I was went into her room. “Hey Wanda!.”

“Hi!, Are you ready to watch?”

“Yeah, I’m ready whatever you’re ready.” She ejected the disc and inserted a new one. While the disc was loading up, We talked and once she make a stupid pun I made a stupid mistake.

“God, this why I love you.” She looked at me with wide eyes I saved myself by saying “You-your personality!” Awkward silence settled between us but quickly melted as the night went on.

The next few weeks, It was weird. She no longer invited me to watch and spent all her time with Vision. I wasn’t jealous in any sort of way, Pietro was the better twin anyway.

“Pietro, What’s up with your sister?”

“She’s still ignoring you? Why did she even start in the first place.”

I thought about it. “I have no idea. Maybe you can ask her what’s going on with her and Vision.

“Sure I wont bring you up don’t worry.” I smiled and she speeded out of here. After a few minutes he came back. He patted my back and said something something I never wanted to hear ever.

“Vision and Wanda are together.”

[remuslupin-enthusiast]

Harry Potter and the eighth year he deserved

Chapter 1 It was the morning of the day Harry went back to Hogwarts for his eighth year, and he was having mixed feelings about the whole situation. His recent discovery of his bisexuality was still confusing to him, but he didn’t want to hide anymore. He was also scared of what it would be like to go to school without someone constantly trying to kill him.

 Harry had been packed for days, but he decided it was still a good idea to do a last-minute check of Grimmauld place before he headed out to Kings Cross station. After checking and then double-checking that he had everything, Harry set out for Kings Cross with a last goodbye to Kreacher.

++++

When Harry arrived on Platform nine and three quarters, it was packed with eager students, new and old. It took him a while to find Ron and Hermione in the midst of all the chaos, but he eventually managed and they made their way to an empty compartment. Once the trio got into the compartment, Hermione immediately began talking about how all the eighth years will be in a separate part of the castle together, all houses put together.

“I just hope we’ll be able to choose who we room with” Ron sighed. “I don’t want to be stuck with some weirdo”.

“Ron, we’ve gone over this a hundred times already, it said in the letter that headmistress McGonagall sent out that out dorm mates have already been chosen, and it’s two people per room from different houses” Hermione stated, sounding exasperated.

“I just hope I don’t get stuck with Malfoy,” Harry said. “I’d rather pack up and leave, than room with him for an entire year”.

“Oh don’t be so harsh Harry. Anyways, I doubt that will even happen. McGonagall knows about the history you two have” Hermione said.

“Ugh” was all Harry could respond with. 

Harry couldn’t stop thinking about Malfoy, ever since he spoke for him on his trial and helped him get cleared of all charges. Malfoy was just so bloody gorgeous. If Harry had to room with Malfoy for an entire year, it would be torture. Having to wake up next to him every day and not even be able to do anything about his feelings.

++++

After a couple of hours of talking with Ron and Hermione on the train, Harry decided he would go and get changed for when they got to Hogwarts.

When they arrived at the Hogsmeade station, Ron, Hermione, and Harry were greeted by Hagrid.

“Harry! Ron! Hermione! It’s so great ter see ya. I didn’t think I’d be seein’ you guys this year, but sure enough yer back for another year” Hagrid exclaimed, engulfing them in a massive bear hug.

“It’s great to see you too Hagrid, we’ve missed you,” Harry said.

“Yeah, it really is. But look, as much as we’d love to stay and catch up, we really do need to get on a carriage to go to Hogwarts” Hermione said in a calm and sweet voice, trying her best not to insult Hagrid.

“Of course, of course, don’t you worry. Come down to my cabin anytime” Hagrid replied. “See you guys later”.

“Bye Hagrid!” The trio responded, on their way to catch a carriage.

++++

Once they arrived in the Great Hall, Harry discovered that there were now five tables instead of four. One for each of the houses, and one for all the returning eighth years. Harry was surprised to see how many eighth years actually came back to Hogwarts, considering it was not mandatory to return for the additional year.

Once the sorting ceremony was over, McGonagall made a speech about how the castle has been undergoing renovations and is nearly completely finished, and although it is impossible to forget the war that happened only 3 months ago, we will do our best to try and create new and happier memories of Hogwarts. McGonagall also spoke about the rules that are still implemented, although eighth years no longer have a curfew on weekends and can go to Hogsmede whenever they please as long as it doesn’t affect their schooling.

When the feast was done, McGonagall made one last announcement that the eighth years must stay behind to be escorted to their new dorms. She explained that people were paired with those from different houses and that their dorm mates are posted on a list in the common room.

“Hopefully our roommates aren’t too bad, eh Harry,” Ron said.

“Yea... I hope not” Harry replied.

++++

Now that everyone had made it into their eighth-year tower, they were all scrambling to get a look at the list of who they were rooming with. Thankfully Hermione had the idea of multiplying the lists so it wasn’t so chaotic, and it got better after that. When it was finally Harry’s turn to see who he was rooming with, his heart dropped out of his chest. Malfoy. Draco bloody Malfoy was his roommate for the rest of the year. Great, Harry thought, another year or repressing my feelings over something that’s never going to happen. Harry makes eye contact with Malfoy across the room and realizes that he doesn’t look too happy with the results either. Malfoy eventually breaks the eye contact and turns to talk to Pansy, but Harry realizes that as Malfoy turns away, he’s blushing.

“Harry! Harry! Earth to Harry!” Ron exclaims, waving his arms in Harry’s direction to try and get his attention. When it finally works, he says, “Merlin, is it that bad?”

“Malfoy. Fucking Malfoy. I want to die” Harry spits out.

Luckily, only Hermione knows about Harry’s infatuation for Malfoy, and she doesn’t say anything on this subject. Ron still thinks it’s all the same old childhood rivalry.

“Who are you guys rooming with,” Harry says, to try and take the focus off of him.

“Pansy Parkinson,” Hermione says, slightly blushing. Harry knows that Hermione is a lesbian, but he didn’t think that Pansy was her type.

“Blaise Zabini,” Ron says. “This should be an interesting year for us all”

“Yes. Yes, it shall” Hermione and Harry say in unison, then they all burst out laughing.

Harry decided it was time to get what he was dreading over with and head up to his dorm. He bids goodnight and good luck to Ron and Hermione, and heads upstairs. When he arrives in his room, Malfoy is sitting on his bed twirling his want in his hands looking flustered. Harry tries to ignore him but then remembers that he still has Malfoy’s wand. Luckily, Harry thought to bring it with him to give it back to Malfoy as an act of hopeful friendship. Harry wanders over to his suitcase and digs around until he finds the wooden box that contains Malfoy’s want. Harry picks it up and walks over to Malfoy, sets the box down beside him, and walks back to his own bed, hoping to go unnoticed. 

“What’s this?” Malfoy questioned.

 Damn, Harry thought. So close.

“Er, its your old wand, I wanted to give it back to you since it’s rightfully yours. I would’ve given it back sooner, but I didn’t know how to go about it” Harry replied, sounding a little sheepish.

“Oh. Uhh, thank you. That means a lot” Malfoy said, smiling a little.

Malfoy seemed different. The war had clearly changed him a lot. The loud, pompous git that Harry was so used to was not there. In his place was a quiet, timid, handsome young man, that Harry was very much in love with.

Harry got into bed and tried his best not to think about Malfoy, which proved itself to be even more difficult than fighting a dragon, especially since he and Malfoy were lying in the same room.

[yodawgiherd]

Reminiscence

Rating: T

>>>Read on AO3<<<

There should be more fun ways of waiting for someone than to just sit on your ass and drum a series of tiny holes into your cup. As Levi watched the crowds rolling around him, he couldn’t help but wonder why Petra picked a place like this. It was not his preference to be out in the open, yet when the lady suggested it, he just kind of rolled along with her decision. Not like he had any ties to a coffee shop he had to visit anyway. And there she was, moving through the people like a fish in a water, clearly used to this kind of life. Petra spotted him right away, making a bee line to his chair and sitting down, smiling radiantly after.

“Sorry I’m late, had a call from work I had to solve.”

“It’s all right.”, Levi shrugged, indifferent, “I don’t mind waiting.”

“Okay….”, Petra put her hands on the table, eyes fixing into Levi’s. “So, I’m finally here.”

He snorted.

“Obviously.”

“Something you want to tell me? Maybe?”, she urged him on.

And Levi knew what she was talking about, of course he did, but he was never big on past and especially talking about himself and didn’t feel like opening up to Petra. Despite the promise he gave her, just a few days ago, the asshole he was. He cleared his throat.

“The weather’s nice.”

Petra blinked in confusion, having no idea how cowardly he felt right now.

“I guess?”, she stammered.

“It’s cold, although not as cold as the weather report said it will be. We should count ourselves lucky.”

“Okay, weather is nice,”, she slowly nodded, “but maybe there’s something else you want to talk about?”

“My gym is doing pretty good lately.”

“That’s… good to hear.”

“Indeed. All the fame Mikasa got from winning the tourney, the sponsors, now the money from the photoshoot.”, he flashed his completely out of the loop companion a victorious smile, “I’m thinking of remodeling, maybe expanding even and…”

Petra’s hand hit the table, interrupting his monologue.

“Okay that’s enough.”, the confusion on her face was replaced by a mild anger and irritation, contorting her features, “I won’t sit here and listen to your stalling for a minute more. I came here to get some answers, Levi, and if you are not willing to give them to me, then I don’t see a point of being here at all. You promised to explain why you went missing, without a word, and after all those years you still try bullshitting me? I deserve better.”

Seems like he couldn’t mislead her forever. Well, Petra always was a sharp one.

“I’m sorry.”, he said, directing his gaze at his hands, “it’s my defense mechanism. I usually try not to talk about myself too much, it’s too… personal I guess.”

A warm touch enveloped his right palm, as Petra reached over the desk, squeezing supportively.

“Please Levi,”, she whispered, “help me understand.”

Ah fuck it.

“My parents got murdered,”, he blurted out, wanting to be done with this little window into his soul as quickly as possible, “and my sister was going into adoption. I couldn’t allow that. Got her on a trial period, as her guardian, but to keep her I had to have bigger financial income. In order to do that, I left college, started working full time, and inherited the gym when the old owner died. That’s it, no more secrets.”

Puzzled by the lack of answer, Levi looked up, seeing that Petra had a hand over her mouth, blinking rapidly while her eyes seemed strangely wet.

“Oh my god,”, she breathed out, “I’m so sorry.”

“Been a long time. Got over it.”

“But why did you cut all contact with us?”, Petra’s voice was still shaky, yet he had no trouble of understanding her, “We could have helped you, we were your friends, no?”

“I guess I wanted to start a new chapter in my life.”, Levi grimaced a bit, “I wasn’t really in a good condition back then, mentally, and it just seemed like the only way forward without burdening anybody.”

It was just the way he was. Even with life dumping everything onto him, he was determined to shoulder all the weight himself and silently carry it to the best of his ability, never asking for help. Petra let go of his hand, reluctantly, in an attempt to regain some composure. After dabbing the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief, getting rid of the moisture, she took a deep breath.

“Thank you for telling me all this.”

A shrug.

“You deserve it.”

“Well, since we got that out of the way.”, she offered him a smile, “What do you want to talk about now?”

And they talked, for long time, about their pasts and presents. Levi learned that Petra was an independent contractor, moving all over the state, although lately she’s been doing a lot of work for Kiyomi and her company. In return, Levi told her all about the gym, the tournament Mikasa won, even begrudgingly talking about Eren, and the influence he had on his little sister. For some reason, Petra seemed really interested in hearing more about that brat.

“So that was the guy at the party? The one with the long hair?”

“Yea, that’s him.”

Yeager and his stupid overlong hair, name a more iconic duo. I’ll wait.

“You know, your sister seemed really happy around him.”

“That’s her. Totally on cloud nine whenever he opens his big mouth.”, Levi frowned, watching Petra’s slight grin over the rim of his glass. “Why do you ask?”

“Just trying to find the reason why you dislike the guy so much.”

“I don’t dislike him.”

“Sure you don’t.”, she teased, “Only anytime you say his name your face sours as if you had to bite into a lemon.”

Levi sighed, a tiny bit embarrassed about the way he felt about his sister’s fiancé who seemed to bring her nothing but happiness. The protective instinct was hard to push down.

“I’m just worried you know. Don’t want to see Mikasa heartbroken.”

“From the way they acted at the party I don’t really see them breaking up any time soon.”, she giggled, “Judging from how often they kissed, they breathe each other instead of oxygen.”

Oh yes, Levi totally needed that mental image.

“Mikasa is…. complicated, all right?”, he pressed on, determined to make Petra see his point, “She had shit for childhood, and I’m very far from being an ideal role model.” Seeing that she still wasn’t understanding him very well, he went on, without going into too much detail. It wouldn’t be very nice to dump all Mikasa’s secret to someone she didn’t even know, but Petra deserved to know at least the rough outlines.

Honestly, ever since she left for college Levi was silently dreading the phone call telling him that his sister assaulted someone. Again. The memory of the boy whose hand she broke just for touching her was fresh in his mind, and it was easy to guess that older guys will be easily more handsy than the high schoolers were. Not to mention all the parties and alcohol that would flow through the dorms. But instead of anything like that, Mikasa called him after about a week, telling him that she met someone special. Levi would never admit that, but his heart still fluttered at the memory. And yet it didn’t put his worries to rest, not completely. Relationship meant intimacy beyond anything Mikasa experienced so far, and Levi had no idea if she was prepared for that. Uncountable times he held her hand until she fell asleep, only for her to still wake up screaming from a nightmare. He raised her, and still she jolted sometimes, when he touched her shoulder unannounced, the hostile expression flashing in her face until she realized who he was. Sure, she was beautiful, anyone could see that, but also troubled, deep inside, and he had no idea if anyone would ever manage to solve that puzzle that Mikasa was.

And girl like this was supposed to hold hand with someone, kiss someone, share a bed, maybe even go further than that? Back then, Levi steeled his heart, waiting for the tearful call from her, her first break up, and was ready to assist her in any way necessary. But the call never came. Instead, he watched this guy, this Eren, put a hand around his sister’s waist without her flinching, press a kiss to her cheek, even a full one on the mouth without anything but happy reciprocation from her. He watched as he made her laugh with his stupid jokes, the weird fixation he had with her hair, endlessly playing with the strands, how naturally they talked, bantering each other, and all the other little things that made him wonder what kind of magic he used to break though Mikasa’s shell. Thought even with this miraculous progress, there were other reasons why he initially didn’t like the guy that much.

“Levi, can we talk?”, she dropped this on him during one of their trainings, still in college. “It’s about Eren.”

Her relationship was just a few days old, back then, so upon hearing this Levi immediately started preparing his best supportive monologue for going through rough breakup. Yet before he could get a word out, she continued.

“I recently found out something and it’s been bothering me.”, she idly played with her fingers, sign of being nervous, “He’s rich.”

“Oh, I see.”, Petra interrupted his story, rather rudely in his opinion, “He didn’t offer you money for your gym when you were doing bad? That’s why?”

“No, that’s not it at all. I don’t even think I could ask him for cash, ever.”

“Why’s that?”

“Wanting money from a guy who’s dating your sister?”, Levi shook his head, “It would feel like pimping her out, I could never do it. Never.”

Plus, Eren was taking a great care of Mikasa anyway. He gave her the bike, then the flat they lived in together at first, and after finishing school the house they moved in.

“Okay then, sorry for stopping you. Go on, please.”

“Only if you promise to keep quiet.”

She made a show of locking her mouth shut and throwing away the key.

“Right, where was I…”

“Rich?”, he said, stroking his chin, “You didn’t know that before?”

Mikasa shot him a reprimanding look.

“This might come as a surprise for you, but we didn’t go around at that party exchanging the balances of our accounts. There really was no reason to wonder about my or his financial situation, but last night we started talking about how we used to live and the conversation just kind of got there.”

“All right, but why is it a bad thing?”

“I mean, the truth is that I’m not exactly drowning in money, right? And with him being like this….”, she grimaced, “I don’t want people to think I’m a gold digger or anything, you know?”

“Does he think that?”

She looked up form her fidgeting fingers, wondering what he meant.

“Think what?”

“That you are only after his money.”

“No, of course not. He knows I had no idea.”

“Then fuck the others.”, Levi leaned in, putting a hand on Mikasa’s shoulder, “You know the truth, and he knows the truth. That’s what matters, right?”

She grinned, nodding.

“Fuck them.”

“The supportive brother.”, Petra patted his hand again, “It’s good to see that side of you that isn’t a total dick to everyone.”

“Yea, I try to keep it hidden.”

“You are doing an amazing job of that.”

“Good to hear.”

“Listen, I really enjoyed our talk, but I really have to go.”, with an apologetic shrug, Petra stood up, offering her hand. Levi took it, shaking it lightly, and for some reason he found himself not wanting this moment to end.

“Maybe we could meet again?”, the words left his lips before he could stop himself, but Petra didn’t seem offender by his proposition. On the contrary, she smiled.

“I’d love that.”

As she was leaving, a seemingly last thought struck her, and Petra turned on the spot, getting Levi’s attention.

“Now that I think about it, I never asked what’s your second half, right?”

He just started at her.

“You know, you are half Japanese, so what’s the other one? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nah, its fine.”, interesting question that’s for sure,” Dad was Russian.”

“Really? Well, maybe you could help me with translating a phrase I’ve been hearing. Now how did it go…”

Levi could see it, from the way her lips pressed together, trying to keep the giggling in, from the sparkle of her eyes, and all the other different signs of her body. He sighed.

“Don’t say it...”

Petra just ignored him, as usual.

“Oh, i remember! Cyka blyat.”

Levi's head hit the table.

In retrospective, staying behind alone with Mikasa at the bar was a really stupid idea on Jean’s part. Sasha was god knows where, Connie left early, saying he must take care of something, and suddenly it was just the two of them, putting finishing touches at the interior. Most of the time they worked silently, exchanging just the necessary words, but it was more than enough. Despite all his talk with Hitch, despite his brave words about being over it, Jean still found himself captivated by her, the way she moved, the sure grip of her fingers, the strength she displayed with easily picking up stuff he would never guess she can lift. And then there were those little things. Redness of her cheeks from the physical activity, movement of her hand as she brushed some strands of hair from her face, the smile she shot him when they finished a particularly difficult talk together. In the end, it all boiled down to the hammer. Mikasa asked him to hand it to her, and he did, but when she was taking it from him their fingers brushed, and Jean’s eyes shot up, traveling over her body. And that’s when he saw them. The bruises. Littered all over neck, at the top, even disappearing beneath the fabric of her shirt, although there was a strip in the middle without any, as if whoever put those love bites on her avoided that area, for reasons unknown. Feeling like all the air was pushed out of his lungs, Jean made a pathetic excuse and dashed out of the door, leaving the confused Mikasa alone, unable to face her anymore.

Cursing himself, cursing her, cursing whatever came into his mind, he dug through his pockets for a cigarette, only to realize that he quit smoking, years ago, pulling out his phone instead, staring at the display. Robbed of nicotine, he thought of a different way to make himself feel better, the one he used multiple times recently, and dialed Hitch’s number, waiting for her to answer. Luck didn’t seem to completely desert him, yet at least, because after two rings, she picked up, greeting him with the voice he came to like and admire so much.

“Hey Hitch, you free for lunch? Want to meet?”

[365daysoflossworldajw]

As we near Thanksgiving, we enter a time of being thankful for all that we have in our lives. Being thankful is still a hard concept for me when I am reminded every day of my loss. A loss that has made me angry; a loss that has made it hard to find forgiveness. This next piece is to help those of you reading and listening, truly understand why this time of year has been so difficult.

You see, I have always been a little sassy. That is just me. Being a server, it’s hard turning that off sometimes. You are who you are as a person, and when you're serving, you have to put on a show sometimes. I remember the first time somebody called me out on how I used to be. It was my manager at work. The big bosses were coming and I was taken off the schedule. He explained that sometimes, I’m not pleasant and it’s not that I am a mean person, I just look mean. A year ago, I would totally agree. My anger, my attitude, no longer comes from the same place.

Before the death of my sister, if I had a table full of rude guests you'd be able to tell that “I wasn’t here for it”. Now, I smile more than usual because there is pain that I am trying to hide. It’s tiring being sad, being in pain, being angry. I smile because I am smiling for me and somebody else now. I have my sister’s spirit and when she dealt with horrible patrons, she didn’t get upset, she smiled. So, who am I not to smile? You never know why people are frowning, why people are smiling. Pain and anger can be hidden or it can be very noticeable, take notice.

#Anger.

A long time ago, I was at a local bar that Ariana worked at. I was using the bathroom and was finishing up when I overheard these two girls outside of the stall. They were talking about Ari and how she carded them when they never get carded anywhere. I knew they were talking about her because they referenced her skin. I came out real calm and slow and excused myself to reach the sink. I turned to them and asked, “Do you have a problem with the bartender?” They responded, “Yea?!” But in a way like, “we do, you do too?!” I responded, “Yeah, all the time. But you see, that’s my twin sister.”

I then pushed the door open and yelled to Ari from the bathroom, “Ari, these girls in here were talking about you, but we good now.” Great times. But there is no Ari behind the bar anymore, I can’t make people feel embarrassed anymore. They know she's not here anymore. So now, I handle things the best way I can. But I know for sure I don't get mad at ignorance. I just try to educate, starting with this blog.

Fast forward one year later; I was back at the same bar, same bathroom. Side note: why do people want to have conversations in the bathroom?

This time, I ran into a young lady who had just lost her brother. Her brother was someone who I had the pleasure of knowing. Before she could extend her condolences, I extended mine. She asked me how I was doing. I responded with, “the best I can do”. She made a reference about the car accident the driver. She explained that she was friends with the driver. She said to me, “not to be smart but she got in the car with him”. You see, the Tatiana I was a year ago, wouldn’t have used words to respond, but I have changed. I think it’s important to always say how you feel. Don’t get upset, just educate. Some people are extremely ignorant, they don’t use their minds to think about what they’re going to say.

This wasn’t the only time I had to deal with these comments. When everything first happened, I had friends telling me in regards to him being a police officer, that it was her fault she got in the car. I saw these things being written all over the internet, but I dreaded the moment I would hear some of these things in person. I dreaded the day where I couldn’t hide my anger anymore.

Ari isn't here anymore. It is now up to me to defend her, alone. So, imagine how a situation like this had me lost... because she isn't here to defend herself and she's not here to have my back. It was hard enough getting out of bed every day, I didn't have room to figure out how to be pleasant all the time, and I still don't.

Look at it this way: have you ever lost your best friend momentarily? Would you accept another person, outside of the situation, telling you how to feel? Or, have you ever experienced a friend of yours, losing their best friend momentarily? Let's say they got in a fight, or something like that, do you take it upon yourself to tell your friend how to feel? No.

So how could people look at me in my face and tell me how to feel? Or worse, telling me what I should or shouldn’t say; that I should watch how I phrase things. Please. You can't tell somebody how to act or how to feel after they had the biggest loss in their lives. I remember a couple people telling me that I hurt their feelings or I should watch what I say. I thought about it. The only person that could tell me how to act, or to watch what I said, was Ariana. She always knew that I stuck up for her, and she also knew I was a problem.

Now, before responding to any situations where I need to defend Ariana, I have to tell myself to be the woman she would want me to be. In the case of this young woman commenting on Ariana’s decision to trust a good friend, I explained to her that my sister trusted her driver. She didn’t ask for this. She was just having a good time. She also mentioned that she was drinking. Yes, I am sure she had a couple of drinks but that doesn't excuse the act of his carelessness. I know my sister.

She would never get in the car with somebody who wasn’t okay to drive or who she couldn't trust. My parents always told us if we needed them, to call. Ari is a smart woman. She always made good decisions. He made the decision to get behind the wheel and she trusted him. My friends are my family, I will always protect them. As an officer of the law he took an oath to protect and serve and he broke that promise. To those who think that way about this tragedy, what would you have done? Who can you trust to keep you safe? Wouldn't you be angry? Wouldn't you ask these questions?

Sometimes, I get mad at myself. I should have been there, I should of just went. It’s hard not to blame yourself when you can’t figure out who else is there to blame.

Now the driver was also a friend of mine which is something I struggle with; I couldn't wrap my head around how someone I trusted could be so careless with someone whom we both loved. I think about that every day. I just knew that there were so many people in this world that my sister called a friend and they would have treated her like the gem she was. I think about my heart and how it is broken and there will always be something missing. He was to blame. For a long time, I was so angry because I blamed Justin. Then I blamed God. I didn’t really know who to blame. Clarity in this area of the situation was something I really longed for, I hoped for.

As a true Christian, growing up I learned about how your “walk” may be different. Your “walk” may have trials, and it may have tribulations. You learn to take those things and accept them as “bumps” in your walk. Also, growing up I learned about forgiveness.

Forgiveness is the act of pardoning an offender. In the Bible, the Greek word translating “forgiveness” literally means “to let go”, as when a person does not demand payment for a debt. You see, forgiveness is hard to do at times. You may not fully understand how to forgive it can be a long process depending on the situation. Anger normally comes before forgiveness. If you're angry for too long forgiveness may never come. This is what I have learned. You may have heard the saying “Let go, and let God”.

This was hard for me to do when knowing that my sister was dead. I am a Christian, but I am also human. I let go and I let God lead my life. I certainly tried to anyway. But how could this have happened? I don't know. God had a plan and It wasn’t Ari’s plan to be here with me anymore. I tried my hardest not to question God, because that is what we as Christians are taught. But it hurt, her not being here anymore made me angry.

I have been angry ever since.

[ange1kth]

1-5, 7-19, 21, 23, 26, 28-32, 34-43, 45, 48-53, 56, 60(u better nOT YOUNG LADY), 63, 71, 75-77, 87-95

lol sorry this took so long to answer alpha bean

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?closet doors closed cuz i have a small room

(2) Do You Have Freckles?yus but only rlly smol ones on my nose

(3) Can You Whistle?lol no probs never will

(4) Last Song You Listened To.listenin to on melancholy hill by gorillaz rn

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?rlly rlly light pastel pink

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?77 degrees (fahrenheit)

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?nooo, i woke up sad

(9) How Many Followers?36 (thx all u peoples who followed me even tho I’m not popular)!!

(10) Zodiac Sign.gemini!! im a ram if ur talking chinese zodiac!!

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?hazel unlike anybody in ma family

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? noooo lol what’s health??

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? ya when im listening to some good bops

(14) What Books Are You Reading?i just finished the color purple and something bout suffragettes, now im on a percy jackson one

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.specific, here it is!! “‘But you did doooo it,’ the spirit growled.” - The Trials of Apollo

(16) Favourite Anime?yuri on ice im ur classic gay, hxh tho too i cant decide

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? mmmmm, probs my older sister (last time i cried tho was this morning lmao)

(18) Do You Collect Anything?nah, i have a few old timey cameras but that’s about it

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?a sandwich lol, just with some lettuce and tomato on it

(21) Favourite Animal?pupper cuz im basic as heck

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?like 11 now my schedule’s messed up

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?probs my sister’s @kohoa even tho i don’t go through it often lol

(28) What Makes You Happy?ma dad, ma sisters, rabbits, video games, puppers, reading sometimes, etc etc

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.she would but she’s on mobile rn •-•

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? what’s studying lmao, probs with music anyways

(31) Dogs or Cats?i did say dogs are ma favorite animal but tbh depends on ma mood, dogs when im happy, cats when im sad and i need a pet to cuddle

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? i think a light green?? or grey lol im boring and sad

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? ocean, i live right next to a lake in michigan, ocean 100%

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? i want toooo, but there’s no proof of it in ma sad life so far, so nah

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?not wearing a shirt, a dress, guess you dont get to know!! :3

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? NO U ARE WEIRD IF U CAN

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? save it for a bit, then spend it on something stupid like pizza

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? my teeshirt that I have to wear to Chicago tomorrow for end of the year field trip, ma socks and ma purse in ma closet

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? don’t think so, if anything video games cuz she is a nerd

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? i don’t think so???

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? ya ya ya

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? not any i remember!!

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. hope, it’s the worst and best movie I’ve ever watched it’s on netflix if ur feelin sad, (might not want to tho if u have triggers about sexual and/or child abuse)

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? sometimes??? idk

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? yea when im sleepin in a comfy place

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? noooo

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?reading yea, writing when it’s not for an assignment

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? if it’s music that’s better listened to loud!!

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? idk, wrap presents since i always cut myself when i carve??? i like both tho tbh

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? egg rOllS

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?heh heh, exams studying all that jazz

(63) Favourite Pokemon?leafeon probs?? i havent played pokémon in forever

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? uhhh, idk that one cute kids movie bout the bull

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? yea, and nah

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? a sandwich at lunch lol

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?choices which is one of those choose ur own story things cuz i like my gf in it, she’s cute, and a magikarp thing cuz my sister thinks it’s good, i haven’t played it at all rlly

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?night??? and day????

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.everything in question 77, overwatch, the last of us, fallout 4, rise of the tomb raider, until dawn, minecraft (what a nerd), just dance, the last guardian, uncharted 4, life is strange, idk if there’s others I forgot

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.ooo a while ago when I was rlly smol is the last time I remember having a dream!! k so if ur my age u should remember the kids show yo gabba gabba, and I freakin hated that it was so spooky to my smol 8 yr old mind. so, I had a nightmare I lived in a town and went to see the orange one, and then I somehow accidentally stabbed him with a needle??? and purple juice exploded from him flooding the whole town and i cried after I killed everyone!! what a dream lmao

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?pepsi or coka cola idk

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?waves at the beach, soft wind, other stuff too but i dont remember

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?sweats what are jEAns??

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?the same way i looked when i got home from school?? ma hair’s pulled up, glasses on, pretty basic stuff

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.BEING AWAY FROM MY MOTHER LMAO

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?probably just two small female signs crossed together on my wrist cuz im gay as heck

this was fun, feel free to send me some others that I didn’t already answer!!

[729renegades]

UP CLOSE & PERSONAL – TOM DEAN

Hello and welcome to another edition of Up Close & Personal for the Renegade magazine. I think it’s fair to say that we have a bit of a young superstar with us today.  It’s not all stale and grey here in Renegades.  I first met this guy about 12 months ago and was super impressed with his thinking and maturity.  He’s truly a great guy and normally whatever comes out of his mouth makes perfect sense.  So, let’s hope that happens today. . . From a very profitable paper round to a manufacturing apprenticeship, he’s lived the story from shop floor to boardroom. He’s had a rental property from the age of 21 and he just got married this year, so it’s been a big year for him. I think it’s fair to say, he’s the youngest old bloke I know.  He has the level of thinking and experience of a 50-year-old but he’s only 26.  He’s the Managing Director of Screentec, a screen and digital print company employing 26 staff in the back end of the Rhondda Valley, in Ferndale. Where men are men, women are men and sheep are scared. I’m allowed to say that obviously because I’m Welsh.  So, without further ado, let me introduce you to the Prince of Print, Tom Dean. How’s tricks Tom?

Tom Dean: Yea, not bad buddy. As busy as ever.

Steve Matthews: How’d you like my intro?

TD:  That was the best intro… In fact, I might borrow this recording just to play it for my Mrs.

SM:  Yea, get a bit of kudos in the house.  Put it on your Facebook profile… Listen to this, it’s all true. So, come on, normally in these interviews we have 30 years of job experience to go through before we get to anything decent and why your part of Renegades.  But you’ve got about 8, so we should be done in about 10 minutes. So, tell us how it all started, tell us about that paper round.  Where did it all begin for you Tom?

TD:  It all began in school.  I never really had a firm idea of exactly what I wanted to do through school.  My thoughts and opinions changed like the weather. . . I wanted to be a firefighter because I liked the athleticism of that and I thought they earned good money.

SM:  Nothing to do with all the girls screaming when they turned up?

TD:  No, I get that anyway!  Then I wanted to be a plumber, because again I thought they earned good money.  You’ll notice a theme, whatever career I wanted to do, it had to revolve around money. But my opinion changed a lot and so whilst I realised I had to do well at school, or I thought I had to do well at school and get good grades; it was more because I wanted my options to be open than to have any particular passions, other than sport.  The sad realisation that I wasn’t going to make it as a professional football player came at the age of 13, so I knew I was going to have to find a proper job.

SM:  So, you’re not playing for Liverpool this year?

TD:   No, unfortunately not.

SM:  Let’s not talk about Liverpool or we’ll fill a whole hour with Liverpool.  So, no professional sports then?

TD:  No, the closest I ever got was trials with Cardiff.  I remember my Dad sitting me down and saying, ” Look, if you want to make it as a footballer and you want to play for Cardiff, you’re going to have to dedicate your time to them. They do training courses 3 or 4 times a week and I’ll happily take you to them”.  This was when I was about 10 or 11 but I just wanted to be out playing with the boys, so I passed on the opportunity to do that.  Growing up I never wanted for anything, I was quite fortunate on that regard.  If I had a football under my arm, that’s all I needed, I’d be out for the day.  But one thing I did always have, was an interest in money.  I always wanted my own money and to save.  So, when a friend of mine, who was a year older, got a job in the local newsagents, I was fascinated by it.  He was bringing home his own money, he never had to worry or ask Mam or Dad for it.  So, from the age of 12 I knew I wanted to be a paper boy and went to the local newsagents. He was great, as soon as you were 13 he gave you the opportunity to work and he’d let you work whatever hours you wanted.  So, for the most money you’d actually have to be in the shop by 4:45 am to start writing the addresses on the papers.  There were maybe only 5 or 6 boys willing to wake up that early. So, I was up at 4:30 am.

SM:  Most people that age don’t even know there are two half fours in the day.

TD:   Tell me about it.  I had a twin brother sleeping in the same room and my alarm was going off at 4:30 am. He absolutely despised me for that for about 3 years.  But it was great.  This owner must have had 20-25 kids on the books, he paid well, he appreciated hard work and the longer you were there, the more you were paid. When I started I was earning about £40 a week, but I was doing 3 hours a day, 7 days a week.  By the time I finished, for the same amount of hours, I was earning over £100 a week. I pulled my weight and if any of the boys had any questions, they came and asked me.  So, that was my paper round and I loved it.  It was a hard slog, especially with the bad weather in Wales but I loved the fact that I never had to ask anyone for money. I had a little pot of savings because as I said, I never wanted for anything, so I never really used to spend it.  I used to have a £100 a week that went straight in the bank.

SM:   You were probably too tired to, in bed by 6 every night after Blue Peter.

TD:   I think only one day my parents didn’t let me go to school, because I came in from my paper round in the snow, absolutely knackered and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. They were red raw, and my Mother said, “I can’t send you into school like that”. But it was a great opportunity. Loved the fact that I could work and earn a living and then I never really looked back.  I knew I’d have that job for as long as I wanted it.  Then when I was 16, I was just taking my A levels. This will show you that I didn’t know what I really wanted to do. I took biology, maths, law and business studies, which was quite a spread-out mix.  I enjoyed maths because I never really had to work particularly hard at it and I was good at it.  Business just interested me in general, law was one of those that you can make a good career out of, and biology, just because of the element of sport and athleticism that went with it. But at that time, Dave and Darren who were running Screentec, realised that they had a load of other irons in the fire and they wanted to build a succession plan. Essentially work their way out of Screentec so they could focus on their other business interests.  I was about 4 or 5 months into my A levels I think and wasn’t particularly enjoying it, but because I didn’t have a clue what I was going to do, I stuck it out. And when that opportunity came up, Dave asked if it would be something I’d be interested in, I said, “yes, definitely”.  It was a step in the right direction of being a senior manager in a company, and that really interested and excited me. Unfortunately, the conditions were, that you had to work from the bottom up.  So, it was sweeping the floors and general lacky. I can’t tell you the amount of times I was sent to get a glass hammer or a tin of tartan paint, but it was good.  It was great for me and I think it set me up really well because other employees had respect for me.  It wasn’t as if I was going in as a manager straight away, I didn’t have a clue.  I knew I had to move between each aspect of the business… Digital print, screen print, pvc welding, print finishing.

SM:  We’ll come onto Screentec in a sec but there’s a couple of things I want to talk about. . . For a start, people who are listening around the globe at this, don’t understand the perils of being a paperboy in Ferndale for a start.

TD:  Porth actually.

SM:  Even worse.  Obviously, you had to carry a weapon with you… A rolled-up newspaper in your case. But for me, I think people will marvel at the fact, a young guy getting up at 4:30 in the morning, 7 days a week. It shows a massive independence and a work ethic. Do you think that stood you apart from the rest of the guys?

TD:  Yea, I think so.  A lot of my mates used to think I was crazy but then the minute we go out and I buy a pair of trainers or something, they wanted to know where I got the money from.  Many of them had the opportunity and got a job within the company but only lasted a couple of months.  Two of my close friends lasted as long as I did, but they were willing to work at it.

SM:  It’s amazing though isn’t it.  I wonder if we could get away with that now? Everything is so politically correct now.  Like you said, you were working 3 hours a day, 7 days a week and getting paid £40.  I wonder if they could do that now?

TD:  Yea… I don’t actually know what the rules were.

SM:  I think that’s sad though isn’t it, it must teach you so much but how many perspective employers are put off from doing that because of bureaucracy legislation.

TD:  It is.  I remember having to fight for that job.  Not with the employer, he was happy to hire me.  But I had to fight with my Mam and Dad.  My Dad was an easier sell than my Mother, but they didn’t want me to wake up at 4:30 in the morning because it would affect my schooling. And they thought I wouldn’t make the money I said I would. So, I said, “let me try it for a month and if I’m coming home tired and not making the money, I’ll stop”. And it was fine, but I had to put some work in for my parents to allow me to have that job. . .

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