#anyways this makes no sense im just sad now im gonna go to bed good night. dont know whats gonna come out of me tomorrow

[the-kipsabian]

you know its time to go to bed when the sad thoughts start rolling in

[mysticficti0n]

all my attention part 1

warnings- swearing, smoking, fights (mention of blood), gets a bit sad toward the end

words: 4.8k (im sorry)

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... well. anyways enjoy its my first Kaultiz fic so maybe a little everywhere but please read and enjoy 🤍

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backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

I sat backstage messing around with my mic waiting to do sound check, I love my job and I'm lucky to be doing this at 17 but I do miss laying in bed all morning and not having to worry about what I look like constantly "Y/n we need you now!" our stage directer called to me pulling me from my thoughts, I stood fixing my sweatpants around my hips and carried myself to stage were Gustav was sat taping away at his drums "okay just need to go through where you'll stand in schrei" I nodded waiting for the man to decide "go top left" I complied and made my way to the corner near to the blonde boy

"does my snare sound normal to you?" I herd Gustav ask then a loud hit on the skin of the drum, it was lower sounding then usual

"no.. maybe tighten it again" he nodded and began playing with the bolts at the side

"Y/n can you speak into your mic" he asked sitting on one of the plastic chairs in the pit

"hellllooooo" I spoke getting a laugh from the drummer

"perfect...okay your done can you send Georg out" I nodded walking back out wiping my eyes as I made my way into our backstage room, 'quickest sound check ever' I thought to myself

"Georg they need you" he huffed rolling his eyes and grabbing his bass

"its way to early for all this" I agreed "its half fucking six!" he grumbled leaving the room, my attention turned to the only other person in the room, Tom, he was slouched on the sofa with his dreads freely sat on his head, we near enough had the same outfit on except he was wearing no shirt, as usual

"how did it go?" he spoke looking up to me to which I shrugged "oh Bill wont be back till like 12 he has meetings and vocal shit to do"

"I thought, anyways how was yours?" I spoke referring to the soundcheck

"well my guitar wouldn't come through the speaker, then the mic cut and I tripped so, perfect" I laughed at his words "anyways wanna smoke?"

"yeah" I hummed seeing him stand and grab his cigarettes from my bag I brought with me, we pushed the exit doors open and walked into the warm morning air that was finally in Germany, it felt like it had been winter for ages but finally It was warming up "I don't know whether I feel like performing tonight" I sighed as he handed me a cigarette, I brought it to my lips and he lit it for me

"why not? you love it" he was right but today just felt like... not a good day to do anything "you'll be fine when we get out there, I know you will"

"I just.. I don't know" I hummed breathing white smoke from my lips

"is it because of Brian?" Tom spoke making my head snap to him

"Brian! no of course not, me and him were done weeks ago I don't fucking care about him" I defended

"because you know he's gonna be their tonight Y/n. look I'm not the one to usually say this but nobody else is saying it- you broke up only two weeks ago and you've ignored what your feeling"

"fuck Kaulitz you're going soft" he laughed taking a drag "and I don't have a 'feeling'"

"I don't give a shit.. wait no I give a shit about you, not him, but honestly are you okay?" he spoke placing an arm over my shoulder to which I sighed again resting my head on him

"i...no, but I don't wanna think of it uno, he made me believe he loved me and that he was the one but all I saw was him hitting it off with a stupid bimbo" Tom's grip tightened comforting me "am I that bad?" I asked laughing solemnly

"I mean.. I" Tom began with a sly smile

"fuck off" I laughed shoving the dreaded man

"hey! I'm joking" he rolled his eyes at my childishness

"but I am sexy as fuck, I have piercings, fuck I dye my hair and yet I'm not better than a skanky, badly blonde haired big lipped whore" Tom shook his head stamping out his cigarette to which I followed

"well tonight play like the git isn't there and if anything find a fan pull them up and kiss their god-damn lips" Tom was a bastard for revenge, when his last girlfriend broke up with him (many years ago) he slept with 5 girls and sent her a picture with the caption 'pussy4ever' I looked back to the boy as he began to speak again "or kiss me?" he smiled wriggling his eyebrows

"yeah sure I will Thomas" we both laughed, in fairness we always found ourselves subtly flirting with one another but never really meant it, the little jokes, touchiness, it was all good fun. We walked back inside and watched as Gustav came off stage swirling drum sticks around his fingers and Georg with a grumpy look across his face

"whats wrong with you sunshine?" Tom spoke holding the backstage room door open for me which I whispered a 'thank you' and sat onto the brown, cold, leather sofa

"fucking bass wouldn't link!" he groaned going to the fridge in the corner and pulled out a water "every time we kept trying and in the end it was the wrong line" Georg slammed against the wall and hit his head

"dude calm down its fixed now" Gustav spoke looking at the bassist who was in no need of being told to 'calm down' Tom sat himself next to me and rested an arm around the back of the sofa occasionally tapping my shoulder and laughing every time I looked to see who it was, we all sat in a comfortable silence all In our own worlds- I was worried for tonight, seeing Brian again is making feel like I need to be sick, I just hoped I wouldn't mess up my parts.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

we were all quickly pulled from our heads and turned to the door where Felix our stage director was stood "we need you all, don't bring your stuff" he spoke in a hurry and running back to who knows where, we all sighed internally and stood up. Being closest to the door I held it open for the other 3 but they all waited

"just go-"

"Y/n we have this argument all the time" Gustav pushed me through the door before I could even argue back and they followed out laughing as I shoved the drummer back with a yelp leaving his mouth. We made it to the stage and walked to the middle, the feeling in my stomach got considerably worse as for the first time I realised how big the show was going to be my eyes curled around the room I couldn't even see the end of the building

"what are we doing?" Tom asked coming to stand next to me and resting his arm on my shoulder as for him I was 'perfect arm height'

"well I need to explain lights to you-" we all gave a small look to one another, nobody want to stand and listen to how the lights will be during the set but we also all knew we had no choice "so when you-" I acted like I was listening but I faded away, I stared right threw Felix and I imagined Brian instead, those fucking dark blue eyes, curly brown hair and that emotionless face he pulled when he said 'we're over' it's been 2 weeks since it happened and Tom was right I didn't really show that I was upset in front of anyone or how the moment haunts me, but they don't see what happens behind closed doors...

"Y/n" I herd a whisper into my ear and I looked to the boy beside me, his eyes looked worried "we need a few minuets" Tom's voice cracked through what Felix was saying and before the older man could interject I was pulled away back behind the curtain "you need tissue" he spoke, my forearm still in his hand as he dragged me into the bathroom next to our backstage room

"Tom I'm fine" he shook his head pulling toilet roll off and folding Into a square

"so do please tell me why you're crying?" I sighed, I knew he wouldn't stop till he got an answer or something from me

"strobes make me emotional" I spoke looking to the floor but he wasn't playing around

"look at me" he commanded but my head wouldn't let me, and I just stared to my shoes "please" at that it was like a release button was pressed and my head snapped up, our eyes met straight away but vision became watery "talk to me-"

"what did I do Tom? I tried everything, he had everything he said he wanted, and he's the only fucking one who's ever wanted me for me, not because of you four guys, not because of my work or money, he wanted me!" I sobbed as for the first time I finally told someone how I really felt "I haven't said a thing but to know he'll be here tonight makes me feel like shit- I can't look at him Tom, after everything we did and for him... for him to say its over and the same night fuck a girl kills me every day! I loved him and this is what I got-" I called in an almost scream, I leant against the wall and slid down until I could feel the tile on my legs and I just held my head, crying into my palms

"I know, and I know its going to be hard babe I know" he spoke and I felt his hand stroke my head "and he wont be the only one to ever want you, so many people will, I promise, you can find someone so much better- fuck sake you're Y/n Y/l/n!. and tonight we'll play the best we ever have just to show him, and I swear to fuck he tries anything on you, he'll be dead" I nodded finally lifting my head and looking towards the boy who just opened his arms for me while crouching, quickly I jumped to him which for the first time in a while- I felt at peace

"yeah..yeah we will" I breathed hiding my face in his neck

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6:00pm (one hour before the show)

"HELLO!" a voice rung into the room followed by a spiky haired boy who walked through the door "fuck me its dull in here" he laughed coming over to sit on his make-up chair

"where the fuck were you!" Tom called to his twin In a angry tone

"meetings and voice stuff" the other brother came back with

"you said you'd be back by 12!" Tom shouted

"I got caught up alright get over it I'm here!" Bill rolled his eyes and slipped of his shirt and began changing for the show, I decided it'll be best if I did the same, the other 3 were ready anyways

"I'll be back" I spoke getting up and going to my bag pulling my outfit out and walking to the bathroom. I locked the door and stared at myself in the mirror, my hair really needed a re-dye, the Y/H/C was really starting to fade, moving on I took off my vest and bra and pulled a lacy black one out and slipped it over me so I didn't have to unclip it, I saw a glimmer of light in the bag and pulled it out seeing a matching thong 'Fucking Clair' I smiled to myself and quickly slipped it on, I did look good I couldn't lie, I posed in the mirror and fixed my hair around my head- I needed a photo "CAN SOMEONE GRAB MY PHONE!" I called waiting to hear a knock as I combed through my hair with my nails

"here- woah" I herd a voice behind me say and I quickly turned seeing Tom looking me up and down with a smirk appearing on his face "who's that for?" he asked leaning against the door frame, his eyes set on my body

"well first of all- how did you get in I locked it, secondly its not for you Kaulitz so don't get you're hopes up" I spoke facing him and his eyes only widened "get out Tom" I laughed seeing him raise his hands in defence

"hey! don't blame me" he smiled placing the phone on the side and walking out and shutting the door which I promptly locked smiling at the idiocy of the boy "dudes she is in a thong!" I herd Tom telling the rest to which they all 'ooo'ed at

"CREEPS" I shouted hearing an up roar of laughter, I rolled my eyes and carried on pulling the phone up and snapping a few pictures of myself, then I grabbed the skirt which just about covered anything and a white top which usually matched Tom's as we decided we'd being doing that for the next few shows. I left the bathroom holding my old clothes and phone and saw all their heads spin to the door "god you guys need to get some pussy or something" I grinned seeing them all blush

"do a twirl Y/n" Bill spoke re-directing the conversation and so I did and he clapped when I bowed

"don't do that on stage if you're facing the crowd" Gustav smirked "I just saw your ass and I don't think your mother would be impressed if that happened"

"good call, someone write- don't bend at audience!" Georg spoke settling in his seat, we all sat and could hear the faint chats of the audience that was arriving, I began pacing around the room humming my lyrics to myself over and over

"smoke?" Tom asked to which I passed him out the door and waited for him outside, the cool night air hitting my skin "here- you need to calm the fuck down" I nodded taking the cig out the box

"I just don't wanna mess up" he smiled at me, lighting the end of the tobacco and then his own "what if they boo me or leave?"

"babe they won't" his hand wrapped around my waist and held me gently "everyone loves you out there, I've seen at least 100 people in your shirts, you've got it" I looked up to him and our eyes connected instantly "if anything look to me I'll do something alright?"

"like trip up or was that only for soundcheck?" he fake laughed rolling his eyes again making me smile, the distance seemed to shorten, we do have our moments but those are funny- this felt real...? tension building around us, eyes locked and ash falling by our feet

"you know-" he began

"TOM Y/N COME ON!" Bill crashed threw the door, hair standing on end and dressed in black (new for him) we quickly broke apart and took one last drag from our smokes before kicking them out and walking inside, people crowded us giving us mics, drum sticks, picks, guitars, sprays, you name it we probably had it

"WELCOME.... TOKIO HOTEL" the speakers sounded and the twins swagged onto the stage followed by me and Georg and Gustav last going to his kit

"GOOD EVENING TRIER" Bill called and the crowd erupted "how we all doing?" and the screams made us smile, it was such a familiar feeling but seeing everyone happy helped, Bill looked to me and gestured for me to come over so I brought myself to the front of stage passing Tom who winked to me getting a 'ooo' from the people in the room who saw, the black haired boy placed his arm around my head and the sea of people snapped pictures and screamed my name

"I think I know what the people want" I spoke with a smile, jokingly the boy 'leaned in' and screams of anticipation filled the building "no not that" I called as we pulled away and the boys behind got the cue to start playing schrei and I ran back to my place hearing the cheer only get louder as Bill began to sing- we loved destroying the imaginations of our fans, its thrilling there was always rumours, usually around me and that I am 'fucking them all' but it's defiantly not the case.

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It was time, I saw the boys look towards me and with a breath I joined the lead singer up front, being a backing singer I wasn't needed much but I was showing something tonight "so you all see my gorgeous girl Y/n here?" Bill spoke pulling me to the front of the stage, hands spiked up everywhere scratching to touch just a thread of our clothing "she has some news!" with a toothy smile Bill past me his mic and backed away back to the group behind- I wasn't used to being centre stage but it was crazy, I could see everything (ish) smiles and tear stained faces

"so you all know we haven't had new music in a few months right?" they all shouted incoherent words "well- you seem like a crowd who'd wanna see some new material!?" I looked back to the boys who were all dopily smiling at me as the people infront blew up in shouts "okay okay so, I wrote this song when I was at not an amazing time in my life.. I felt like giving up but instead, with the help of these, I wrote my feeling into a song, usually this would be preformed by our lovely Bill but.. just got tonight, I'll be singing" I hyped and the band got into places to start playing don't jump

I began singing the words and walking around the tip of the stage holding the hands of as many as I could 'On top of the roof The air is so cold and so calm I say your name in silence' until my eyes landed on him- the words seemed to be pulled from my mouth, everything went silent and he knew what he'd done to me... the song was partially made because of what he did before we broke up, my mind switched as I herd the strum of Tom's guitar- remembering his words 'and tonight we'll play the best we ever have just to show him, and I swear to fuck he tries anything on you, he'll be dead' with a breath I carried on stomping my way back up stage to the rest of the band Bill was off the other side by Georg and I went to my place by Tom, a smile smothered his face as I stood facing him 'hi' he mouthed, I let my free hand reach for his face and held his jaw getting a roar from the fans, Tom placed a kiss to my palm and I soon let go trying to hide a very big blush from swamping my face and our next move came to play- we both turned back to back as his strummed his guitar, I leant against him spilling my lyrics until the beat jumped again 'I scream into the night for you Don't make it true Don't jump The lights will not guide you through They're deceiving you Don't jump' I walked back to mid stage being followed by Georg first who smiled at me and banged his head, then by Tom who only smirked sending me a wink. I got to the edge of the stage and hands reached to me and I tried to hold them all 'And if all that can't hold you back I'll jump for you' the song ended and the building blew up, cheers, screams, claps it was a rush, I blew kisses to them all, my mind forgot about what I was thinking before. Bill and Gustav joined us at the front and we all did a joint bow getting a laugh from us all, the others let go but Toms arm still stayed around my shoulder pulling me close

"see told you they'd love it" he whispered I smiled looking to him, he was sweaty and panting slightly as when he concentrates to much he forgets to breath, his arm pulled me even closer and he planted a kiss to my forehead before the lights turned off- our queue to get off stage the 5 of us were ushered off and as I stepped over to be in the backstage area someones arms scooped me into a hug though I couldn't see because the whole place was pitch black "Ugh you did so well" it was Tom's voice, calming me instantly "they loved the song!" he spoke settling me down but still had me close "told you they would" I looked back to the sweaty guitar player and he pulled my head to his as he pressed a kiss to my forehead again

"get room!" Gustav poked erring a laugh from he rest "nobody wants to see a softy Kaulitz!"

"eh what do ya mean- he aint soft" Tom quipped eyeing his friend up

"gross" Gustav laughed walking his way back to our room, me and the other boy followed and walked in to see Bill lay on the sofa with his makeup nearly rolling down his face due to being so hot

"Y/n I can't get over the audience" the black haired man spoke "god... that was one of my fave ever shows"

"I can't get over it" i went to my bag and pulled my cigarettes out and the boys all seemed to perk up again "coming?" I joked seeing them all get up as we went to the outside, it was dark with only the security lights illuminating the floor, I handed them all a ciggy and pulled my lighter out and burning the end "I saw Brian, he was just kinda stood there" they hummed "I'm over it- he can fuck who ever he fucking wants because none will ever be as good as me" I groaned feeling the hot smoke going out my mouth

"I saw him and he just looked sad, he misses you, I can tell" Bill spoke getting a shove from Gustav "what? I doesn't matter. All I was saying is that he looked sad probably because Y/n/n was happy unlike when he last saw her" I laughed, we stood in a silence finishing our cigs, stepping them out and walked into a runner calling all our names

"BILL!...GEORG!?" he looked out off breath "Finally- we need you all, meet n' greet" we all had the realisation and practically sprinted to our room and began to spray any aftershave or perfume we could find as after running round and singing you sweat, meaning we don't smell the best, me and Bill fixed our eyes and hair and then we all walked out like we hadn't just shit ourselves and made our way to the front of the building to see a line of (mostly) fan girls crying out

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"thank you so much I loved the show and the new song! holy shit it was amazing" a girl named Bethany spoke hugging us all one last time, we were told not many more people so we fixed ourselves up and waiting for the next person

"I love the flowers" I spoke looking at the roses a girl called Alicia brought me "is their anyone else-" as I spoke the door opened with Erik (our runner) holding it for the next fan, we all looked up and saw a brunette boy.... blue eyes "what the fuck do you think you're doing?... seriously!" Brians eyes were red and face tear stained, I felt myself tense up at the sight, all the boys stood scarily still

"I want to talk to you babe" his voice shook, those eyes staring into mine, its like he didn't realise he was in a room of people who really did not like him "please its me... baby please"

"don't call her baby" Tom grumbled " she doesn't have to do shit for you" I looked toward the boy, his hands in a ball already he moved quickly, towering over Brian

"Tom" Bill warned but no remorse went to his twin, we all watched as Tom stared down at Brian saying words to fast to even work out, Brain looked like he was about to break down nodding his head

"and I'm not fucking lying- you ever touch her, talk to her, anything... I wont fucking stop until you can't move and my hands are red- understand?" I looked toward the others, I wasn't scared for Brian but more worried that something would happen, Georg got the memo and walked to the guitarist placing a hand on his shoulder, I saw Tom relax and walk back to us leaving my ex standing with shock on his face, he looked back to me

"please" he pleaded 'shit' is all I thought as I saw Tom's face drop, his knuckles white he stormed back to Brian "...dude-" he squealed before the guitarist had him up the door slamming him back and forth, I watched as my ex's face became red trying to shove Tom back but him being a lot shorter- he had no chance, perfect "GET THE FUCK OFF ME DICK!" he shouted and Bill grabbed his brothers shoulder and pulled him off

"leave I-" the singer couldn't finish as a fist flew into his shoulder "WHAT THE FUCK" Bil'ls hand collided with Brians face sending him back quickly followed by Tom punching down at the boy, nobody touches the other twin without the other one getting involved. The fight continued until a scream cut the room, blood was on Toms arm and he stepped back, Gustav was keeping me back by our picture wall and Georg stood next to him and seized looking over

"damn-" Gustav hummed, I looked over to see Brian holding his nose and Tom proudly standing above

"this is your fucking fault Y/n... I should've dated you-" his words stung "this would have never bloody happened if I had just left you earlier!" my heart ached "fuck" he grumbled standing against the door, I looked to his eyes- black and blue. He took a step forward, stumbling slightly but he quickly found his feet again and came at me "YOU DID THIS!" I turned back waiting for my pain- a punch, a slap, a kick but I never felt it THUD I opened my eyes to see Georg on the floor slamming his fist into the boy again- he was really getting the works tonight

"BA-ST-ARD" he chanted before the door burst open to two runners with astonished faces who quickly grabbed their walkie-talkies and spoke some words I couldn't work out, within seconds security rammed in pulling Georg off of Brian who looked even worse and we were all taken back out "fucking dick what did he think he was doing!" and the five of us were pushed out the room

"arsehole" Tom stormed "hope he's in fucking pain for ages-"

"I can't believe he tried to punch me, ME!" Bill shook his head going through to our room I walked with Gustav giving him a 'look' to which he only nodded at "he's a dick" the boys all sat and I just stared into the mirror- those 5 minuets felt more like hours and I just didn't have any words

"this is your fucking fault Y/n... I should've dated you-"

"this would have never bloody happened if I had just left you earlier!"

"YOU DID THIS!"

those sentences flying around my head, I couldn't pull myself away from it, I just looked at myself, I just felt- wrong

"what the hell! why did I just have to see security drag a bloody nosed kid out that room!" Our stage manger burst in "you lot are a world famous band we don't need stunts like that being pulled! 16 people have had to miss a meet n greet because of it!" he shouted but I couldn't hear him really- I wasn't there "Y/n!" he shouted snapping me back

"I'm sorry" I spoke turning to face him

"it's not her fault" Gustav spoke "he was fucking deranged" I laughed slightly looking back at him with a smile

"I don't care! its not a funny matter, its disappointing" we all nodded as he walked out, I turned to the boys and looked to the twins, Tom had blood over him still and Bill just looked pissed off

"I think I'm going to go to the hotel..." I spoke grabbing my bag off the side and hanging it over my shoulder and pulling my skirt lower to feel more covered "bye-"

"wait-" someone spoke "I'll come lemme clean myself up first- five mins" it was Tom, I nodded and settled myself onto my make up chair watching him run to the bathroom

"we're not annoyed at you Y/n, its not your fault" Georg spoke coming over stroking my shoulder "he's a prick"

"I know- I just feel bad, you all basically got hurt because of him and the whole thing was so pathetic I doesn't even seem real like.."

"yeah I get it- its fine, just sleep it off alright" I agreed and watched through the mirror Tom come back in

"ready?"

[the-s1lly-corner]

May I please have a request of head cannons of TADC crew dealing with a clingy kid reader

Like two of them are basically plushies (Jax and Ragtha)

And please do take your time

TADC cast x clingy!kid!reader (platonic!)

YAHOO!! my back hurts but its okay because i drew my oc looking... (checks notes) "cunty" (doesnt know if theyre using the word right) anyways gonna knock out a few more requests; got that one friendship is witchcraft song playing on loop in my headphones so im typing like a speed demon rn RAAAAAAh

CAINE:

honestly hes probably the same with you, though like. with his eyes; he keeps an eye on you at all times. like i can easily caine being kind of negligent when it comes to kids and letting them get into harms way, but i also adore the idea of him fretting over you and trying to keep you safe. does not mind your clinginess, not one bit. always keeps close in IHAs, in fact we may even be able to joke that hes now a participant in his own games! he does it for both of your comforts, and to make sure you dont get hurt.. in cases where he cant be around, for whatever reason, he promotes bubble to babysitter to keep an eye on you; i think! reads you bedtime stories every night

POMNI:

i think i may have mentioned this a few times but pomni can get a little uncomfortable around kids; kids can be really wild and/or horrifically honest with no filter and pomni does not have the mental strength to cope, digital world or not/lh

with that being said it would take her a while to get used to you gravitating around her; i dont think she would tell you to leave her alone though. i mean, she tries to put herself in your shoes. shes losing her mind in this place and shes brand new and a grown woman. how is this effecting you? so she sticks around and just. embraces it, i think. probably checks in on you when you go to bed... kind of pauses when you ask her to stay, be it because you dont want her to go or because youre scared of monsters under the bed i think she would ultimately stay by your bed in a chair and watch over you

RAGATHA:

good news for hugging her, shes very soft thanks to the fact that shes literally a doll! honestly its rare that she would tell you to step aside so she can do something; plus like caine she generally likes to keep an eye on you to make sure youre not getting into trouble or danger,,, makes you plushies so you hang onto them when shes away and you miss her. like caine she also has a bedtime routine with you. maybe its because i just watched some adventure time today, but the ritual would be similar to sweet p's bedtime ritual (bedtime cheek kisses, tucking in, reassuring that youre loved ect ect ect) idk i just think ragatha would have that kind of energy when caring for a kid reader, clingy or not

holds

JAX:

one of the two characters who might get annoyed by your clinginess, especially in the beginning (oh boy i sure wonder who the other one is (looks at zooble)) and he might try to push you away and shoo you when you try to stick around him. might feel a little bad when he sees the sad look in your eyes when you turn away and walk away. jax, feeling bad for once? now thats rare

might try to bond with you by trying to teach you his ways of trickery; no one wants to see a kid sad, especially in a place like this and i dont think jax would be immune to your pouty face. older brother and little sibling dynamic, i think! i genuinely cannot see jax being fatherly, tbh

KINGER:

DAD KINGER DAD KINGER; do i need to say more? honestly kinger is very clingy himself with the people he cares about, given that hes lost so much he wants to make sure that those he cares about are still safe and sound. if anything, you might be the one asking him to dial it down a notch!/j

lets you snuggle up into him during bedtime stories, i think! like while the others who read to you would be sitting on a chair next to the bed, kinger would be close enough for you to lean into him if that makes sense. generally very sweet to you too, i think!

ZOOBLE:

the other one who would be a little annoyed by how clingy you are, again, especially in the beginning. zooble seems to really value their own personal time and space so its likely that they would try to set up a boundary; so you probably arent going to be able to spend every waking moment with them... that said i dont think they would exactly be... mean to you... like they dont hate you, they just tend to get irritated by small things! makes very clear communication, which is an important thing to learn! teaching moment! also cannot see them picking up a parental role, i can see them being the cool but angsty older sibling tbh. probably kind of freezes up when you hug them but does not push you away. does care deeply for you, just shows it in their own unique way

GANGLE:

oh you probably accidentally drag her around without fully meaning to! i mean im not sure how old the reader is, but lets say theyre on the younger side and they dont fully. mean to just drag gangle across the room. i mean its not like youre dragging her across the floor, at least! plus gangle is just so light, given that shes totally made of ribbon in the digital world. she doesnt really mind all the much, though... even if she did im not sure if she would speak up... lets you come and go into her room whenever, since sometimes you just miss her and she has enough trust in you not to mess with anything + sometimes you guys do arts and crafts together! yipee!

[z-mizcellaneous-z]

Alright, Zay, first! How are you? Hope you're doing good!! ✨️

Second, for the ship ask, how about SeroRoki?

heyo kiya! i am surprisngly alive (i stayed up until 5 am rereading fanfics and then my mom woke me up at 8 am to help with breakfast lol). hope that you're doing well <33 /p

and now:

SEROROKI

Who’s the cuddler?

Todoroki, 100%. Once he is first exposed to physical affection (platonic in the beginning with friends and whatnot) he begins to crave it constantly. He's actually insatiable. When him and Sero get together and Sero is like "oh yeah i dont mind physical affection" Todoroki basically fuses with him at that point, clinging onto Sero like a koala almost 24/7.

Who makes the bed?

Todoroki. I like to think he's a very tidy person who can very easily fall into certain routines. Sero on the other hand has the take of "im gonna mess it up again anyways, why bother".

Who wakes up first?

I'd say Sero. I feel like he'd be the type to have a sleep schedule so fucked up that he'd find himself waking up pretty early. He also likes to wake up before Todoroki when they're sleeping in the same room together to shamelessly stare at Todoroki (his gaze is still a bit too intense for Sero to stare into for long periods of times, so he enjoys these quiet moments of tender fondness).

Who has the weird taste in music?

Todoroki. His playlist is literally any and every song anyone from class 1a has mentioned ever, which leads to going from a sad heartbreak song to screaming for three solid minutes.

Who is more protective?

They're equally protective of each other, though Sero is more protective in the emotional "protecting your feelings/heart from the cruelty of others" aspect, while Todoroki is more protective in the physical "protecting you from bodily harm" aspect.

Who sings in the shower?

Sero. I'd like to think he's a pretty decent singer, but doesn't like to show it off at all. Except with Todoroki, of course. During some of their cuddling sessions, Sero will hum random songs that always have a very soothing effect on Todoroki.

Who cries during movies?

Sero. Todoroki would be the type to go "they aren't real people, so these experiences aren't either. there's no need to get upset" while Sero sobs over Bambi's mom.

Who spends the most while out shopping?

Todoroki. He's filthy rich AND the youngest. Man has little to no sense of what is considered too expensive; he simply finds the highest possible quality product and buys it.

Who kisses more roughly?

Sero. I think in terms of kissing and any more "heated" aspects of physical affection, Sero is much more intense with it, while Todoroki's just trying his best to not accidentally set off his quirk.

Who is more dominant?

Sero. What about him *gestures at Todoroki* tells you that he'd top/dominate ever?

My rating of the ship from 1-10.

Even though they don't have that many moments in canon, their dynamic in canon-compliant things is so

SEND ME A SHIP AND ILL TELL YOU:

[blonkk]

feeling healthy. classic friday night crying unexpectedly because it just occurred to me that im almost 30 and ive spent the last 3 days alone with no one to talk to. im just in bed watching the simpsons wishing i had someone with me just to fucking watch the simpsons or stupid youtube comps. i’ve been seething because my roommate left days ago without telling me and he hasn’t cleaned a thing since i moved in so i’ve spent the past 2 days scrubbing the place clean which makes me resentful. he also left his aging dog here and she drives me insane and i didn’t sign up to be a dog owner but here we are. should i let her starve and shit in the house or do i just do the right thing and make sure shes fed. let her out when she screams at the door at all hours of the day night and morning. its been raining but stopped today so i left the house and spent 50$ on nothing and i still dont have a job and i just have to come up with new ways to spend my time with nothing to do no money no one to talk do on this shithole hill

like when you’re young and optimistic and idealistic you never think that sad loser is gonna be you. like no way i’m gonna be a sad friendless lonely freak of nature. no way im gonna be broke and jobless near 30.

and it just creeps up and like i’d do anything to get out of this but i just fail and fail and fail and i can’t find a way out. everything is just closing in on me rn. and if i go home to my parents i wont need to worry as much about money for the time being but what kind of back peddling is that….i spent my entire 20s working up the courage to move out completely and again im failing. i can’t go home anyways because believe it or not my situation is every worse there

and my parents are so scared for me…like they won’t say it but they’re ashamed and disappointed and they pity me which is honestly worse than anything else….i don’t want them to help me out of pity it feels like no one believes in me at all

which makes sense lol i don’t believe in myself either….i don’t excel at anything…..i can’t even get an entry level job in my field where i have experience…i can’t monetize anything else i do because im just not a very skilled person and its not self pity, or maybe it is, but like no one cares about art or whatever it is i like to do.

like i’ve felt like i’ve been fading away for a few years now as friends and family moved onto bigger and better and it’s just getting worse as time goes on…i don’t know what i want i’ve never known and it doesn’t even matter because i’ve never gotten anything i’ve wanted anyways. i just want to not be lonely. it’s so simple

i just want to disconnect from everyone and everything because i’m so beaten down by rejection and failure and isolation and despite good things these bad things compound and im so exhausted i don’t even care about what happens to me anymore

it’s so weird being this person you know people pity…that the worst part

i’m tying….i go outside…i exercise…i engage with my hobbies….i haven’t shut out my friends….i keep applying for work even though i feel this feeling of dread and know it wont go anywhere …i haven’t given up yet but im not really under any illusions that things will “get better” anymore

anyways i’m sorry for the boo hoo wah woe is me wahhhh moment im just so sick and tired of this relentless shit

[celestie0]

Girl look this is gonna sound like a love confession bc maybe it is idk I’m obsessed with ur braincells in another life your definitely one of my best pookies 😔🫶

Like the way I FELL in love with kickoff was so uncalled for bc what business do I have being this invested in an athlete frat college au when I’m generally all for the domestic angsty husband wifey shit anyway now idk how to cope when it’s finished so pls take my hand in marriage and we can have pillow talk abt them 💍❤️ thank you.

genuinely ur writing is chefs kiss though 👌 (let me kiss ur hands 😗) and I love love love that u actually seem to have real knowledge on what u write about like the soccer games and the all the camera stuff it gives the story sm more substance

anyway penny for my thoughts 🤧 ?

This fanart on TikTok: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYaQwJQo

ok so basically when I first started reading the fic and I was talking to my friend abt all the frat shenanigans (WHICH I LOVE BTW IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS FRAT BOY TROPE NOW) we both related it to this one fanart: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYaCy7aX/

which then made a lot of sense bc it’s literally meant to be satosugu as frats (AAAAHHH 😫)

anyway so then I went on the account and discovered that first link right bc getos seggsy ass was the focus in the other one

and I just thought it was so fitting like the face is a bit off bc I think the darling artist is clearly a fellow geto girlie butttt the fit and stuff like yk how the insufferable man child was wearing fucking HO-HO glasses in the first chapter yeahh anyway hope u see it too and Imma do the good deed of passing word your fic onto the TikTok artist

forgot I was meant to be dot pointing

y/n

does anyone actually insert their name ? Idk I never have lol

love her

she usually ends up being my favourite character bc duh she’s girliepop

I struggle sm to read books bc like character names and stuff can throw me off so I prefer to dabble in GOOD fanfics every now and then (aka your masterpiece) or just indulge in smut when I’m ovulating 🙂‍↕️

ignore that

ummm so yeah I find books hard to get into since they start on a blank canvas and since I’m already obsessed with our marvellous blue eyed baby daddy fanfics are ideal cause they just build over that

anyway back to y/n I don’t actually remember what I was gonna say shes just bae

The slow burn holy shit especially the bed chapter like I kept going back and forth who’s gonna make a move only to fall asleep all bricked up at 2 AM 🥲

so well done

one random fav scene of mine is when he takes out the digimon credit card idk ur ideas and the way u write movement in scenes it just clicks for me

I like my shit my way. It’s all in my brain right these angst chronicles and I kinda just wanna see it written out bc I’m a lazy bitch and I cannot commit so I usually opt for like one shots or what not idk like “when he makes you cry” or “ when you use the safe word with them ft gojo, geto, toji” you know the gist of it

I have certain ideas in my head that I don’t like to compromise especially regarding y/n ig because I am her allegedly

but bro 😓

the way I folded for you omg 🙏

this deserves a list if it’s own lol but btw putting this out there I dont even except u to read through this shit I’m just in a yapping state of mind and I’ve come this far so ._. :

My first major red flag was the jeans

not my style okay I’d live my life in pretty little empire waistline lingerie night gowns if I could

First thought was “what in the white girl” butttt then my brain went “it’s giving Lana del Rey like when she was younger and was always seen by paparazzi just in a white tee and blue jeans + that one concert she did wearing jorts and a cute white top with hoop earring, chewing gum and smoking while singing summer time sadness like the absolute icon she is”

and bam I can fw it now 🤝

her hight is one thing I differ on tho cause I’m short so I blur my vision whenever u mention any kind of height or size related comparison with gojo bc ik it’s not accurate to me especially with that tree of a man and I want my moments too 😔

Shoko

I just don’t see her like that okay she’s so above gojos lanky ass in canon verse

but thennn as always u came through with the descriptionsss 🔥

the denim skirt

the sorority glitter cheeksss

hot.

okay I’m starting to sound 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃 my apologies

The age differences

honestly this wasn’t that much if a discrepancy I just found it a bit funny like todo as his homeboy lol

but yuji was so cute and I’m all for dad gojo but you’ve opened my mind to big brother gojo and I don’t see what’s not to like about it

As for the rest of the characters

Loved yuji as the bouncer (I didn’t know what that even was, again love how u actually know what u write about)

and also just that tiny crumb of megs when readers taking pictures, I can totally picture him as a soccer player

nanami was so odd to imagine but I settled on teen nanami with the emo hair and such

Choso

I just love chosos existence in this fic thanks for that 😌

OKAYYYYY this length of yap sesh should land me in a psych ward I spent a good hour and a half on this I’d say

but yes it’s due time I professed my ever growing admiration for you (💍 🔪)

I will check out if you’ve given fic recs but again I’m into the marriage pregnancy type shi and I do love me a good college au now more than ever so if u may 🤲

jk ‼️I DONT EXPECT YOU TO REPLY TO ANY OF THIS IM A BIG FAN REGARDLESS‼️

cannot wait for the next chapter (can he please dick us down hard already your edge game is something else 🫠)

xoxo 💋

OH WOW FIRST OF ALL THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THIS ASK?? i appreciate the love for kickoff sm :”) even though it’s not something you usually read!! and yes 💯 to that fanart

haha i actually know close to nothing about soccer. i just ask chatgpt a bunch of questions about it when i write 🤣 but i know a tiny bit ab film photography cuz one of my close friends studied film in college :) i’m so happy those aspects stick out to you!!

HAHA pls the whole bed scene in ch8 was a lot of fun to write. i just love domestic lil convos between two people, and the lil digimon scene made me emotional to write bc it reminded me of how nerdy canon gojo is LOL (i miss him sm)

i’m glad you like yn too!! tbh she’s the center focus of the story in my eyes haha gojo is just a side character 💀 and wymmm my girlie is SHORT too 🤣 well idk how short you’re talking haha but in my head she’s 5’4 cuz that’s how tall i am lol

thank you sm for interacting so deeply with my silly lil story 😭💕 sorry if i didnt respond to all aspects of your ask but i read it all and was cheesing so hard plskdjdhd. so glad you’re looking forward to more!! also haha i saw your follow up ask too and YES gojo as a cat dad wasn’t something on my kickoff bingo card but alas here we are 🤣 much love from me 💕

alsooo i do have another series called “in holy matriphony” that is a fake marriage au gojo x reader :0 just mentioning that since you said you’re in the domestic marriage sorts of stuff. it’s kind of a silly n crack fic vibes tho LOL maybe not the serious angsty stuff but it’ll have angst for sure too :”) just if you’re interested bb!! <3

[carmenized-onions]

okay i’m usually not one to leave messages but i feel like im going INSANE– so please feel free to ignore this vomit of words but i need to talk my shit so i can have PEACE😭 YOU’RE SO TALENTED, ITS SICK🫵🏾okay but seriously, i haven’t felt so feral over someone’s writing in a longggg time so im feeling a lil crazyy

AGAIN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO IGNORE ME but that latest chapter with carmy’s pov had me rolling!! he’s so real, feelin all jealous of tony but also of mikey because ngl i would too! like whatdoyoumean im late to the party and everyone has already built in life long memories with this person??? BUT ALSO, im not special?? crazy. like the thought of realizing that your person might just be everyone’s person (does that even make sense idk)?? yeah i would feel sick and twisted too😀and and it makes me feel more insane when he had that subtle thought of being mikey’s fill in, LIKE??? plus tony’s mysterious ass past with rich and mike?? i’ll never be free omggg

i wish i could articulate my point better in way that makes sense but im running on 2 hours of sleep and goldfish so i’ll spare you the rest of my delirious spiel– GOOD NIGHTh🤙🏾

I need you to know so bad, I WOULD NEVER IGNORE THIS!!! This made me so happy to read last night, and as I read over it again, with shattered wrists from CPR/First Aid training, eating an overpriced pizza in my grandmother's bed, this is like, such a balm to the soul bb. Please please please continue to yap in my inbox, i cannot define to what end how happy it makes me (and frankly, not to guilt trip, but how sad it makes me when people like but don't say what they thought ;-; but i get it, i lurk too)

BUT ANYWAYS, TO THE MEAT OF YOUR WORDS

YES!!! I'm so happy to hear someone say they also vv much get Carmen's point of like fuck, i missed this. It's such a tough emotion because it feels like-- You shouldn't be allowed to feel that way? AND SAME WITH THE YOUR PERSON IS EVERYONE'S PERSON-- EXACTLYYYYYYY

It's like, I can't be mad that everyone else also knows how incredible my person is-- But like, they're my person-- What do you MEAN they were your person first??? I'm gonna EXPLODE!!! Sick and twisted, fr.

THE FILL IN !!!! THE FILL IN LINE!!!! WHY IS NO ONE YELLING MORE ABOUT THE FILL IN TBH I THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING TO GUT Y'ALL LIKE FUCKIN FILLET O FISH MF--

Ahem,

I mean, I agree, yes, quite.

Please please please, continue to send in thoughts!!! But also GET CONSISTENT SLEEP!!!! I'm not one to talk i really need to go to bed now i'm already looking at 6 hours square in the face but i didn't get to WRITE TODAY and i'm gonna be GRUMPY if it STAYS THAT WAY!!!

[quodekash]

OKAY I HAVE ONE HOUR BEFORE THE OS2 MSP EPISODE COMES OUT SO HOPEFULLY I CAN FINISH THE ABAAB EPISODE BEFORE THEN, imma try to dial it down on the commentary so that its faster 

(also fun fact, i tried to do the mouthfuls of water when i mention how pretty anyone or their hair is thing that i suggested. and i had 48 mouthfuls of water and an immediate need to pee and i was worried that throughout the night i would suddenly become a 3 year old child and pee my bed. anyway.) 

AH SHOOT YEAH THE NOTE HE LEFT 

where the hell did cher go 

we’re probably about to find out but i wanna formulate my thoughts first 

(dang it now im thinking of first kanaphan bc i said ‘first’ STAY ON TRACK STAY ON TRACK STAY ON TRACK) 

presumably hes gone back to like his home town thingy 

but... why 

i have no idea 

we shall see 

OH, STUFF YOU 

VAFFANCULO TU OMOFOBO PEZZO DI MERDA 

LA DETESTO, DETESTO MOLTO 

LEI PUÒ MORIRE IN UNA BUCA FREDDA E BUIA ALL’INFERNO, PER FAVORE 

STRDYTCFUVJYHKB

“you two are not a good match” LIES, LIIEEEESSS 

NOOOOOO HE IS SADDDDDD 

HHHWHYYYYY 

“take care of your health” i love jack so much 

guys we’re nearly 6 minutes in and i havent mentioned jack’s hair ONCE 

okay well i just did BUT THAT DOESNT COUNT 

THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION 

I EXERCISED ✨RESTRAINT✨ 

“please tell him dont be too hard on yourself, and take care” AWWJRGKHB 

poor dude misses cher so much he keeps hallucinating him 

at this point the real cher is gonna show up and he’s gonna think its one of his hallucinations for goodness sake 

gun, go to therapy 

hes so pretty tho 

i love him 

and you didnt have a chance to say goodbye? because you didnt know it was a goodbye? and you desperately want to see him again but youre also terrified of that ever possibly happening because you know itll mean there’s going to be a goodbye, either that day or just at some point in the future, there will always be a goodbye, and you dont know if its worse to never get a chance to say goodbye or being forced to say goodbye against your own will? and youve had too many goodbyes in your life to know how to deal with it but you keep forgetting to bring this up with your psychologist when you see her once a month? 

whaaaat, me? projecting? no wayyyyy 

i love porsche 

porsche and gun are like lesbians 

that makes sense somehow 

porschegun are lesbians 

i will not elaborate 

“you, thyme, and cher. everyone left me. i have no one left.” jEEZ THAT ONE REALLY STABBED ME IN THE HEART SIX TIMES 

KILL MEEEEEEEEE 

whaaaat i have attachment issues? my psychologist said i have high signs of separation anxiety, like im a dog? noooooo waaaaaayyyyyyyy 

bro

DANG IT OF COURSE THAT WAS A DREAM 

“hes been drinking his old coffee for five days in a row” HOLY HELL HES NOT OKAY SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE OR SOMETHING 

i love him

and his hair 

sorry, i know i said i would dial it down but the episode is nearly over and it wouldnt be an abaab commentary post if i didnt mention and screenshot jack’s hair AT LEAST once. 

HES JUST SO PRETTY 

just. look at his face. appreciate his face. and his hair. 

JACK’S SAD LITTLE SMILE AND THEN HE LOOKS AWAY- IM GONNA CRY I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH 

CHER!! :DD 

and... yacht???? (seriously, IS that his name) 

HIS FREAKING BLUE HAIR IS SO PRETTY WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL 

second best hair in this show 

“without you, my tiny room seems tremendous” FIHREBGKJB 

GROUP MOMENT 

THREEZOOOOOO 

PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

“you’re making us horny” GIUERDBJSGOIRE THIS IS SO FUNNY WHAT THE HELL 

HE IS AMAZING 

AND ZO’S LITTLE FINGER SHAKE DSFDSGSGD 

MY BOI IS GRADUATINGGGGG 

MY BOI IS SEEING HIS BOY 

JRGFJFNGGFVC 

A WONDERFUL END TO THE EPISODE 

THAT WAS EXCELLENT 

I LOVE THEM 

aight time for msp in like. five minutes. 

[matan4il]

hello alice! it’s miya here & yes it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been in your ask box! i recently just had 3 surgeries that were basically two in my nose & then i had to get my tonsils out again so i’ve essentially been recovering from that & not in the mood to talk mostly. I do however hope all has been well with you.

since the finale is right around the corner, I wanted to talk to you about buck’s growth this season. we know in the beginning that buck was upset about not getting picked as interim captain despite the fact that he was not clearly ready, the couch theory & how actually death experiences can reset all the progress you’ve made.

i’ve see a lot of folks saying buck has regressed back into old habits & i’d say that’s not true. Buck agreeing to be a donor in the beginning was something he did because he’s buck but the influence around him saying yes was mainly what connor said to him about him being such a good person & what not. now after he dies buck realized he can’t live based off of how others see him & make decisions solely off of that which is why things quickly ended with natalia. i thought it was funny how she said she needed a minute to think & not 10 seconds later she left 😭. Buck didn’t necessarily chase after her for the sake of getting her back but i think he wanted her so badly to understand & it’s like there is already someone in his life who understands & sees him for who he really is and that’s eddie. it’s hard to see someone who buck may feel like kinda has to accept him for all he is cause that’s his best friend as a potential partner but i think there is a possibility we might see that in the finale.

we know the entire 118 is in danger, now granted we have no idea what that means & since we logically only have 45 minutes to tell this story, there is a possibility of things not being completely wrapped up. i wanted to also point out that the only two people (technically 3 if you count chris) who know that buck does not have a couch is Bobby & Eddie. two important people in his life who buck would quite literally lay his life down for. Buck told eddie that “maybe he does not want to pick the wrong couch again” & then he later on told bobby that “im afraid im gonna keep on making the same mistakes” it’s clear buck wants to go about things differently but it’s a matter of how?

i think he was on his way there but then he died and suddenly life got confusing for him. sometimes i think people downplay the fact that buck’s heart stopped & how he genuinely felt like he got away with something when he woke up in the hospital. of course he is going to go around making the most of life. now the way he goes about it may not be the way we want it to happen but it does make sense for bucks character. he wants to treat every waking moment as a gift & that’s things are a sign cause he feels like he’ll never get that lucky again & that’s ultimately very sad.

i think we’ll definitely see buck in s more bigger leadership position next monday however the biggest difference is that his team will be a witness. his team doesn’t know how buck took charge when the tsunami happened or how he saved eddie’s life during the shooting & i’m still on the fence of if eddie knows that. i hope they see what he’s capable of but I hope buck see’s that he’s already had these skills in him it was just a matter of tapping into them.

the couch theory idk.. they have been making it a point to show buck, chris on the couch & then chris and eddie with a space open for one more as if we wouldn’t notice but idk we will see. maybe buck takes eddie home after everything & he falls asleep on the couch after putting chris to bed & everything kinds of falls into place

anyways sorry for my rambling. i have had all of this on my mind for a while lol but again I hope all is well with yous and that life has been treating you good. ❤️

Hi darling! OMG, 3 surgeries? That's so much, especially over such a short period of time. I hope you're doing better now? And thank you for the kind words and for caring. I'm not doing so hot at the moment, but hoping it'll get better. *HUGS*

TBH, I'm not sure what I think. I do expect the finale not to wrap everything up, because they have so many balls they've been juggling up in the air, the bridge collapse will take up a huge part of the ep, so I really don't know how much they can condense into this and address all of the threads that they opened this season. I do absolutely expect that there will be circles that they'll be closing, like Buck moving from feeling dejected over not being considered for the position of interim captain in 601, to acting as captain in the field when the 118 (with Bobby) goes down. And since 601 linked Buck figuring his own life out enough to be able to take this position by linking to the metaphor of the couch, I very much expect to see some return to that, although all may not be resolved in 618. Kind of like how 414 gave us the talk between Buddie to resolve Buck's immediate sense of guilt over seeing Eddie getting shot in front of his very eyes, but it didn't resolve the "make sure you follow your heart" thread that was opened in 413. Eddie still needed to go through it at the beginning of s5 in order to choose himself and be able to break up with Ana in 503. Similarly, Buck was just starting things out with Taylor in 414, and he needed all of s5 to break up with her, even though it was clear they were wrong for each other from the start, and especially as their first kiss was born from Buck's distress over Eddie getting shot in front of his own eyes.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me! I'm looking forward to screaming over 618 with you once it airs! Sending tons of love and good healing vibes to you, lovely. (as always, here's my ask tag) xoxox

[khodorkovskaya]

12.01.23

sooo a lot of confusing things happened.

i went to see puss in boots yesterday and the hype is so worth it! im obsessed! it was so good!!!

and guess who i invited to the cinema with me...............

yeah, i know, i don't understand either. i texted him when i was on the train from luzern and he said yes. and so we went together.

(i was being weird on the phone with my parents about it so now they think that i have a secret lover lol. like idk i just can't lie to my parents so when they asked me who i went to the cinema with i was like "nobody!!!!" and it sounded very sspicious. so yeah, they believe that im seeing someone new now. but no lol. im just back on my bs.)

after the film we decided to go get a drink (i had green tea) and we had a very strange conversation. i told him about the books ive been reading and how im slowly making my way through kundera's "immortality" but i don't understand any of it. and then we talked about immortality (bc it was also a theme in puss in boots!) in relation to fame and who gets to be famous and who will always be left in the shadows. and then we said something along the lines of "extraordinary people get to be famous and normal people don't". and then i started telling him about how i think that it didn't work out between us bc we're not normal and we need normality to balance things out.

he said that his first relationship was with a normal person and, even though she was amazing, the relationship was boring. and he said that when he realised that i was crazy he found it charming. and it made me blush.

but anyway i started telling him about my zurich friend and my normal boyfriend fantasy and how i just want to fall in love with a normal person and be normal and hold hands. and he said that my zurich friend is very far from normal and how what we had was actually a normal relationship and i was too spoiled to realise it. he predicts that im gonna realise it in the future bc im gonna meet a lot of shitty guys and regret leaving him. but it will be a good learning experience for me.

and yeah he said that im not making sense and im speaking nonsense. and i think he's right bc ever since i isolated myself from society ive just been a bit insane. like im slowly descending into madness which i think is good for me bc i really need to think and analyse things. but at the same time ive become detached from reality. and now i have all these theories about wanting a normal boyfriend and hating the balkans.

then okay girlies bear with me... i missed my last tram and..... slept over at his place... yikes, i know i know.... but he promised we were gonna sleep in different beds (spoiler: we didn't) and we were just gonna drink tea and chat (spoiler: we didn't just drink tea and chat). and uhh im not gonna go into the details but i didn't feel really good. i just felt like... annoyed i guess is the best word to describe it.

i asked him if we could be friends bc i really want to be friends with him. i want to see his future spouse and kids and i want him to see mine. and i want us to be best friends until we die. but he said that if it's definitely over between us as a couple, we're not gonna see each other again. and it made me sad. why so harsh? why can't we just admit that it doesn't work and stay friends? he wouldn't give me an answer.

this morning we talked a bit more about our relationship and normality and stuff. and he said that in order to be a better and more mature person and actually learn from the past, i need to face my fears and confront him. and we can try to be bf/gf again but make an effort this time. and if it doesn't work, at least we would've tried.

so i was thinking about that for the whole day today. weighing the pros and cons and trying to understand what is "délire" and what is actually reasonable. i feel like im missing something in my brain, i swear. why do i never know what's right and wrong? what do i want and what do i not want? i feel like im disabled or something idk.

and then all of a sudden my dad (who i haven't heard from in a while) messages me like "call me now". he's in india now and i thought it was something urgent. so i called him. and the call lasted only 10 minutes (usually he goes on and on about conspiracy theories for like an hour). and this is what he said:

"you need to get back together with B!!! he's a good man. and it's rare in our day and age. there's a slavic genocide going on. and you guys have a problem with homosexuals in europe. and B represents gender values and he's a real man, which is so rare! sure, nobody's perfect i mean look at me. but B has more pros than cons. sure he's lazy, maybe he even goes to see other hoes from time to time. but nobody is perfect and your clock is ticking. you're 23 and healthy, it's the best time to have a child! if you're still unmarried at 30, people are gonna look at you weird. marriage is a status symbol, you know, it doesn't mean anything. you can get divorced. but being divorced at 30 is so much better than never having been married. it shows that you're a serious woman. and you should try to get back with him. organise a theatrical performance or something, i don't know. and tell him that the wedding's in may so he will be keeping busy organising everything. it's better to do things you regret, than regretting not doing things. okay bye!"

what the fuck.

[leafonground]

i mentioned doki in my last post and yeah i kinda dont talk about it as much as the other seasons ive completed huh.

despite my incoming hater rant i uh. dont hate it? but i like every other season ive seen better and that includes tropical rouge, which despite being my first season i do find mid now. though thats really not enough credit to doki, its highs are higher, but its lows are waaaaay lower.

(ramble incoming, not important, just my own scuffed opinion, but its under the cut. also spoilers.)

first off, elephant-shaped ira in the room, yes im a self identified card carrying cure ace hater. i can own that, im fine with it, star twinkle madoka is best madoka, but also i feel like that doesnt give the nuace of how i feel enough credit. its sorta like, yes the fake-out was lame, but a fake out like that is supposed to make more sense in hindsight, when you see the rest of the story and know why it happened, but we REALLY didnt get that. was literally a deus ex machina to save the cures from getting washed by fucked up and evil and purple regina, then proceeds to become an even bigger problem than regina by finessing manas lovies while shes sad about losing her blonde villain gf.

i then made jokes about how aguri is homophobic for the rest of the show

proceeds to be a colossal dickhead for the next 10 episodes, then its revealed she cant back it up cus of the whole time limit thing that they discard at the end, and then just. says sowwy and fades into the bg until endgame arc starts. like we see that she was watching the cures beforehand, but then NEVER stepped in until the regina thing, which. why? she didnt know she and regina were split off from ange until way later, what compelled her? that the cures were gonna lose? howd that not get her moving the several times thatd already happened? theres no reasoning behind it, she shows up, acts like a dickhead, and turns endgame into the aguri show and turns makotos whole arc into an afterthought. most we get out of her after that was the brush your teeth episode. imo actively made the show worse off.

not the only one though cus okada joe, fresh from getting his wife killed and losing his homeworld, gets sent to the main world, immediately starts hitting on middle schoolers. its been said that they were gonna go full coco on this dude but one higherup said "ya nah", but its hard to tell if that happened before or after the show started airing, cus it only fully stops once we see him in the armour suit, going "i miss my wife tails makoto. i miss her a lot" when he was trying to rizz her up like 20 episodes ago. bigger danger to children than king selfish at that rate. only good thing about aguri imo is that okada joe vanishes for like 12 episodes since him meeting aguri would advance the plot.

alice is also kinda lame. nothing else for me to say except half of the alice episodes felt like sebastian the butler episodes, except those were actually fun cus he has a personality thats more than a gentrified toothpick

but also the shows highs are REALLY GOOD. rikka is awesome. the first villain trio is excellent. every scene with regina in it is peak, especially the midseason arc (before aguri anyway). they made a line sticker of that one scene where regina and mana sleep in the same bed and thats the most adorable shit ive ever seen. that one pre-endgame episode with regina and rikka gave kira a run for its money with the funny homo factor. speaking of rikka, the first straight ship (not you raquel) ive seen the series push that isnt either basic as fuck or vomit inducing.

also mana is okay you guys are just mean. when yr in the same show as aguri the mary sue allegations kinda just explode into a cloud of steam

but thats not enough for doki to beat the mid allegations imo. which is a huge shame, this show has so much going for it, but it consistently put a focal point on the things that make it worse! and also why i havent posted about it until literally today, it isnt genuinely great like heartcatch or st, it doesnt have dedicated brain worms inside my frontal lobe like mahopre or kira, and it isnt a show thats overall good but then fumbled its main twist in the most personally aggravating to me way possible like tropical rouge.

oh yeah while im here ive also watched go princess, but that shows issues are more in that anything that isnt towa is kinda just fucking boring, (which is also a shame cus towas the best precure character period bar none) but thats a post for another time

[thehoundwrites]

The vets comforting fem reader when they have a ptsd breakdown /flashback?

Ahaha yep made myself sad :*)

MDNI 18+ - PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION

TW: Trauma, PTSD, mentally ill, Abuse mentions, Dissociation?, Nightmares

All the vets got PTSD change my mind

Hanji:

Hanji has always had a more logical brain, problem solving, finding meanings. But when it came to trauma, to abuse, to the things in your brain that changes because of that? There's There's logic. No sense in general. They were used to this. The imbalances, the thought that no matter what everything could hurt you.

They found peace in the hurt, although bad days always arose. They'd seen so many comrades die, in the most gruesome way possible. Their friends. It's why they chose to study titans, so no one had to feel the way they did. The they always did.

So coming home to you, knees curled to your chest with a blanket messing strewn across your shoulders a cold, distant look in your eyes their heart sink. The way they'd talk talk themselves through it wouldn't work for you. So they announced themselves before approaching slowly, eyes watering a bit. God you deserved better.

"Hey earth to y/n" they spoke silently your eyes lifted to them. "Hanji?" You asked voice cracking. "Yea- it's me darling. Everything is gonna be okay, im right here. Can I sit with you baby?"

You nodded scooching over. "No touching right?" You nodded again, they leaned against the wall next to you.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"No."

They leaned their head back closing their eyes and humming a bit thoughts interrupted with a question "How do I do this?" You asked their head turning to look at you noticing you sad eyes staring up at them.

"How do I go on, I can't ever stop seeing this. Sometimes I'm back. I'm really right where I started. Right in the moment and i have to relive it over and over."

"It does get better. You just need news memories, happy ones to out weigh the old ones. Remember that it won't happen to you. Never again, not now that I'm here. I can't let you get hurt baby. Your my angel."

You leaned your head against there arm.

"We can get through this together y/n"

Levi:

His coldness gad a tendency to disappear around you. Especially nights like these. Flashbacks turned to nightmares. And God he knows the struggle he dealt with those much younger than most of his comrades, he wasn't just traumatized by war, but by his childhood.

Sleeping next to you was a privilege he fought for since he was born. He's always had to fight, so helping you fight it came natural. He'd always had his own war in his head, something you could distract him from. With your stupid smile and your puppy eyes and your dumb little face.

He woke up because of your breathing at was heavy, distraught like you were fighting for air. He was always straight forward even in times like these. He knew what was going on eyes widened sadly at you as he approached.

"Y/N" he said loudly trying to get you out. When that didn't work he tried touching you. Which usually isn't good, but its better than your mind being stuck, that's what he thought anyways. You usually tried to fight him in response I'm which he'd easily deflect say punches or struggles you threw before your eyes widened In shock.

"Levi?" You questioned chest still heaving.

"Its alright, you're right here, in bed with me. Right?"

You nodded.

"Tell me whats going on sweetheart, what do you see? What do you feel?"

"Its dark"

"Keep going"

"The beds warm, the blankets are soft, your hand feels cold, your eyes. Levi... please hold me." And he happily brought you to his chest

"Itll be okay, I'm here now."

Erwin:

He'd helped a lot of comrades with flash backs before, but with you it was always different. It hit him different. Knowing your brain is doing this to you, knowing something horrible happened to make your brain respond like this. Usually on your bad days he'd catch you zoning off more often, letting his finger tips brush against your knuckles. Insisting you take a break. Which you never did.

He made you eat, despite not feeling the newsboy always tried to bring yourself to for him. But at the end of the day instead instead going home you went to his office to sit on his couch. He was in a meeting so you curled up and disappeared.

You tried to remember but your brain brought you back. He came back back to get the rest of his stuff before heading home to you. But saw you spaced on his couch. He gulped, it hurt him to see you like this.

He squatted in front of you keys at his hips jingling, as he looked up at you.

"Hey sweetheart" you blinked not fully aware, sun leaked in from his curtains and he got the hot coffee from his desk and waved it under your nose. You sighed stifled from your trancd eyes a bit watery.

"Erwin?" You questioned looking down at him.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you doing?"

He asked playfully, knowing full well the answer was shitty.

You snorted, rolling your eyes.

"Is there anything I can do for you, do you need to talk, be left alone?".

"I- I don't know..."

"Its okay not to know, but I'm not leaving" he said sitting next to you.

"I'm right here when you need me. I'll wait forever if I have to. I love you, yknow that right?"

[nightowlfandom]

Kanato Sakamaki- I’m Sadistic For You

FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTS DIABOLIK LOVERS CONTENT AAAAHHH THANK YOU BESTIE! I GOT YOUR OTHER ONE AND I’M DOING IT TOO!  

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

So ANON ASKS

For Kanato from DL ( I haven’t seen much done for him and it makes me sad because he’s a favorite ). (: I could Lowkey do some more if you’re not super bogged down I had another idea BUT I ALREADY SUBMITED ANOTHER BEFORE THIS SO IM NOT GONNA OVERWHELM YOU LOL but- anyway Fee free to be as nsfw with my prompts (if you do them) as you want. I dont have any triggers so- writing them super accurate and sadistic won’t bother me :3

Bruh....Jesus is my helmet...but NOT TODAY let’s fucking go! Okay readers, you heard, they aint got no triggers. So if you do...move it along.

52- “You can’t call me cute!”

80- “Shut up! I’m not blushing!”

31-“You need to be taught a lesson…”

81- “You look so...inviting all tied up.”

84- “What’s the word I’m looking for?....Pet!”

Also in this you and Yui are BFFs because she isn’t some cold hearted bitch (homegirl trips over oxygen, plus I love her lol)

I was legit about to have him spit in your mouth....I’m so shameful...maybe next time.

Leggo!

I’m turning into a Yandere account and I am totally okay with that.

...

“You know living here isn’t that bad.” you mused to Yui. “When no one is talking.”

Your friend laughed as she cut up some carrots. Yui turned to look at you as she prepare to peel some potatoes. “So living here is terrible every day other than right now?” she replied.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She wasn’t wrong. 

You and Yui were making dinner for the house. After a ambush that landed everyone injured except you and her (thankfully). You had offered to make soup and stew for everyone. They were all in their respective rooms healing while you had prepared everything.

“They really fought hard today, I thought Kanato was about to rip that vampires jaw off. He’s really protective of you, Y/N.” she winked. “I think he likes you more than he lets on.” 

Kanato and you had a very strange relationship. He hated you, but he didn’t HATE you. No one could lay a finger on you, no one could even look at you, even if he said he didn’t care. Reiji tried to and Kanato almost murdered him.

“He then told me that Teddy said I was ugly.” you reminded her flatly. “Yeah he so cares.” you snorted.

“Maybe he has trouble telling you his feelings”

“I wish everyone was as optimistic as you.” you shook your head. “Looks like the soup is finished.” 

“I’m just saying Y/N, just think about it.”

...

You only had one bowl of soup left to deliver, to Kanato’s room. You grumbled as you stood outside the door. 

“Kanato? It’s me.” you knocked on the door. “I’m coming in okay?” 

Before you could wait for an answer you opened the door and walked in with the cart. 

Kanato was laying on his bed when you entered, groaning in what you assumed was boredom.

“Teddy, tell Y/N that I don’t want whatever she made.” Kanato turned away from you. The scars he had suffered on his back said it all. All for you...

Your recalled the terror in your voice as you had screamed for help as the rogue vampire wrapped his claws around your leg. Kanato’s name was the first to escape your lips as you had tried to crawl away to Yui. You remembered reaching out to Kanato with your strongest hand, begging him to save you.

The look in his eyes was feral as he screamed your name too, grabbing you hand and pulling you to him. You were sobbing into his chest, clutching onto him for dear life for a good ten seconds before Yui replaced him, hugging you tightly in her small arms too. Before you knew it, the rogue’s head had been thrown through a window...

...

“Y/N, Look at me! You’re safe now...you’re safe with me...”

...

“Teddy, could you please tell Kanato that while his pouting is very adorable, it won’t get him out of this?”

“Don’t call me cute! You can’t do that.” Kanato glared at you through hooded eyes. “If I wasn’t so weak I’d-”

“Well let me take care of you.” you cut him off, taking the bowl to him. “For me?”

Kanato paused, his glare softening. 

“You must be in love with me if you’re so insistent on me getting better.” he grumbled, sitting up. “Y/N is in love with me Teddy!”

“Kanato.” you felt your face heat up violently. “Don’t say things like that.” you groaned.

“It’s blushing teddy, how cute!”

Kanato’s use of the word ‘it’ wasn’t new to you. In fact when he wasn’t calling you names, chasing you around with forks pretending to stab you, or worse, it was denoting you to objects.

“H-hey! I am not blushing!” you pouted. “My face just looks that way.” you lied. “S-shut up.” you grumbled.

“And what if I don’t feel like it?” he challenged, knowing you wouldn’t say a word back. You were kind of like Yui. You wouldn’t dare challenge any of the Sakamaki brothers. It was a death sentence in every sense of the word.

“Kanato, I just want you to feel better.” you looked down at your feet. 

“There’s one thing you can do.” Kanato used his strength to stand to his feet. Despite his looks, he was tall, and under that cute exterior was a mean and feral beast. He staggered over to you, a sick smile on his face. That couldn’t be good, not by a long shot. 

“And what exactly would that be?” you asked. You couldn’t look at him. You didn’t wanna know what he was planning. You were positive that it wasn’t gonna end well either. 

“Get on your knees.”

“My knees?” you repeated. “Why do you want me to-”

“Now Y/N.” he spoke over you. You felt his hand on your shoulder. “I don’t like repeating myself.” his nails dug into your skin, causing your knees to wobble under the pain. “On. Your. Knees!”

Your feet gave out, practically sending you crashing down to the floor. You looked like a dog, on your hands and knees. You appeared weak and pathetic.

You found it in yourself to look up at Kanato. Teddy was perched on the bed, ‘watching’ you two. You felt his fingertips creep under your chin. 

“Aww...” he smiled. “You’re like a little...What’s the word I’m looking for...PET!. It’s cute.” He caressed the side of your face. “Too bad I kill all my pets...they can’t handle me...can you handle me, Pet?”

“Yes, Kanato.” you found yourself saying. You felt like you didn’t have a choice...

and you loved every second of it.

“Bullying you has made me regain my strength! Isn’t this wonderful?” he wrapped one of his hands around your neck. “You’re so fun to torment” he laughed.

“K-kanato.” you coughed.

“Is it hard to breath. Y/N?” he asked sinisterly, that crazed smile gracing his lips. His words were terrifying although his actions said otherwise. He loosened his grip on your throat, allowing air to flow more freely. It was those small things that made you think he didn’t hate you as much as he loved to preach.

“Y/N...when that vampire came...I thought I was gonna lose you for good this time” he said sadly, allowing his arm to return to his side. “I thought I had-...that you were gonna die.” 

“You saved me though.” you replied. Kanato knelt down to your level, still slightly above you. 

“Yeah...because if anyone is gonna break you, it’s gonna be me.”

“I care about you a lot, Kanato.” you finally said it. “I like you too much.” you exposed yourself. “I want you stay by your side.” you said pathetically. “Even if you hate me.”

Before you could say another word, Kanato claimed your lips in a kiss. He held the sides of your face in his hands. It was the first time he had ever kissed you. He hummed thoughtfully, pushing you down to the floor so you were laying on your back. He crawled over you, not breaking the kiss. 

“K-kanato.” you whimpered.

“You need to be taught a lesson. If your gonna be my girlfri- I mean pet, you’ll have to learn.” he kissed down your neck.

Suddenly, Kanato ripped the seam of your jeans all the way up your left leg, leaving it completely exposed to the air.

“Oh look, your clothes are messed up, guess we’ll have to take them off.” he smirked. In another swift motion, your pants were torn to shreds. The fabric fell in a circle around you both.

“Teddy look! Y/N is wearing such cute panties.” he cackled maniacally. “Her naughty place is leaking.”

You trembled, waiting for him to do whatever it was he was planning.

“I heard blood tastes better when it’s from your naughty place.” he ran his tongue along the top row of his teeth. “Y/N” he moaned, running his index finger along your clothed heat. “You smelled so much better here...I just want to- ungh.”

He suddenly drove his fangs into your right thigh. You gasped, arching your back. He violently grabbed your legs, holding them down. His tongue lashed against your freshly made wound. 

You could hear him whimpering, cursing under his breath. 

Kanato would deny it with his life, but everything about you was like a drug to you. Tasting your blood was even sweeter than every dessert he’s ever tasted. Feeling you whimper and plea for him did things to him that would make a sailor blush. 

Forget Yui, forget his brothers, forget it all.

“Fuh-” Kanato couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t stop himself from ripping off your panties and driving his tongue into your most sensitive parts. Hearing you moan for him, cry for him. 

The rumors were right, vampires were godly lovers. It was like Kanato knew what you wanted and where. He lashed his tongue against your heat, grabbing your legs. 

“Wrap your legs around my head,” he demanded. “Not like it’s gonna kill me.” he laughed manically. “

Knock knock

“Y/N, are you in there?” Yui’s small voice caused you to panic a little. As you tried to get up, Kanato pushed you right back down, growling into your pussy,

“FUCK!” you whined, making it very obvious what you two were up to. “Kanato, I can’t-”

“Then don’t.” he grunted, not ceasing his movements. “Cum, cum for me.”

“K-KAANAAA!” you cried as you came. You thrashed and writhed under his touch, but he didn’t stop. His tongue never stopped moving. “fuh- fuck! Kanato, t-too much!”

“I said cum for me, I didn’t say I’d stop.” he thrust his fingers into you to add insult to injury. “You’re so fun to fuck with!” he spat.

“Kanato!” you sobbed. You couldn’t stop moving, you couldn’t stop thrashing. Th epleasure had gotten to you so much, you were drooling.

He finally withdrew his mouth from you, smiling evilly at the mess he left.

Kanato had grabbed one of his ties that had left on the floor and bound your wrists together.

“You look so inviting tied up for me...” he shuddered as he bit his lip. He licked his fingers clean of your blood and juices. “Good thing the night is young...because I’m not done with you.”

...

[missblissy]

PLS alastor x chubbyish reader who only wears baggy clothes like MENS 4XL AND HUGE/LONG SHORTS and then finally puts on something tight like a dress -like his reaction SORRY FOR IT BEING SO LONG AND SPECIFIC

(( Of course my friend!! And no worries. IM SOrRY FOr The WAIt---...... I am but a simple lad. The drafts man.... I don't get along with them and they don't get along with me. AGAIN SORRY FOR THE WAIT WEEPS. I also hope you don't mind I did a modern!au...? QwQ I just-.... I just saw such a cute idea in my head.... ANYWAYS. I hope u enjoy!))

You chewed at your bottom lip as you thought it over again. Was this a good idea? You saw yourself in the mirror and slowly turned to the side a little. I don't know... Is this a good look for me? You picked up the hem of the dress and pulled it up a little. For a second to long you saw your theighs and looked away quickly. The dress was much different than the typical outfit you enjoyed. Baggy clothes no more, a dress found a snug but almost perfect fit. Something about it felt to tight, making certain parts of your skin to appear more pressed and chubby. It did show that you had some curves but nothing to gloat about.

It was red. Your idea. Well... the dress and everything was your idea too. You wanted to look nice, or nicer than you normally dressed. You were a comfort over pain person. Sweat pants were a must-have, large shirts, oversized hoodies? Constantly. It was just far more comfortable that way. Why would anyone want to spend all day in a pair of tight jeans riding up in places nothing should ever go? It didn't make sense, and honestly, it also just made you feel a little better to hide behind such baggy clothes sometimes.

You leaned over the sink and fixed your hair. You felt far more nervous than you should be. Maybe it was because he was waiting outside the bathroom, in your bedroom. Alastor took his time enjoying a book though, he wasn't in that much of a hurry. A lazy smile rested on his face as he looked at the clock on the dresser in front of him. He sat on the edge of your shared bed and took in a slow breath, "It's almost seven, dear, we'll have to leave soon." He casually said as he flipped a page of his book.

From within the bathroom, you took yet another look at yourself, "Okay!" You said quickly. The dress wasn't over the top or anything. It kind of looked like a simple high waist, shirt dress. Tight on the top with a button-down and a little fit bow tucked within the collar, similar to a vintage dress from the 50s. You enjoyed the skirt wasn't as tight as the shirt, but it was still fitted even if it fanned out.

You had to turn away from the mirror or you'd get stuck there again for another twenty minutes. You put your hand on the doorknob then paused. You had only been dating Alastor for about two months. So far he found your casual choice of clothes cute. He didn't seem to care what you wore at the end of the day. And honestly, he didn't know what to expect when you came out of the bathroom. He only wore what he typically wore... But that's also because he was a "public figure" who ran a "respectable" podcast. So he didn't have to change much. Still, the same button-down shirt, tucked into his dark dress pants. There was no sweater vest or bowtie, but instead just a regular black tie. However, up until now, Alastor had never seen you in a dress before.

Alastor never asked you to dinner at a restaurant that had a dress code either. Normally the dates were left to late-night fast food runs because you got out of work late. Not this time though. You also couldn't imagine the embarrassment of being caught at a classy restaurant in a hoodie and shorts... Yeah. No thanks. You'd rather not.

After staring at the door for five minutes you snapped out of your trance-like thoughts and twisted the doorknob. You quickly stepped out of the bathroom and stood halfway between the bed and the door. At first, Alastor didn't even look up from his book. He gave you a glance for a second then quickly took a second look and stared at you.

He slapped the book closed with one hand and set it down beside him, "Well, look at that," He smiled at you. You felt your cheeks burn under his gaze, "Go on, do a spin," He twirled a finger quickly.

You felt a smile climb onto your lips as you did a stupid little giggle and lifted your arms with a spin. The little clap he did only made you chuckle more, "Stop it," You rolled your eyes, only teasing him.

Alastor pushed himself off the bed and just as you spun back to face him, he snacked an arm around your waist and used his free hand to grab your own. And suddenly the two of you were dancing. He side-stepped with a quick waltz, making it easy for you to follow him. He hummed a pretty tune and whisked you away.

Little did he pay mind to your big doe eyes and blushing face. He had his eyes closed as if this was just second nature and he didn't even have to think about doing it. Pressed against his chest you could smell the sweet scent of roses mixed with a warm piney cologne. Alastor stopped short and gave you a little spin. The skirt of your dress waved slightly as you left the closeness of Alastor. You held onto his hand as he looked you over.

Alastor quickly pulled you back to him, "You look very lovely, dear," He was only a few inches away from your face. The warmth of his smile bleed into his brown eyes as he brushed his nose against yours, "Utterly stunning, quite literally the most beautiful creature I've ever seen." Oh well, now he was just being over the top. You let out a little hiccup a giggle but it was stifled by the swift kiss that Alastor stole from your lips.

When he pulled away you were left slightly dazed and sad that the kiss was over so soon. But Alastor kept you in his arms as he said, "Maybe we should just stay home," He grinned at you, "I don't know if I care to share you with anyone else-"

You rolled your eyes and pushed him away with a cheeky smirk of your own. Sometimes he was so full of himself, at least he did it in a way that could make you laugh, "Come on," You gave him a light pat on the chest, "We're gonna be late," You walked past him and grabbed your coat off the dress. Alastor remained there with his grin growing larger. His eyes roamed over your body as you walked past. He took in every angle he could get before following after you and closing the door behind him.

[tastyykpop]

ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ɪᴛ ғᴜɴ

Pairings: winwin x reader

Genre: smut

Warnings: dom!winwin, brat!reader, some face slapping, spanking, hair grabbing, degradation, some praising at the end, rough sex, unprotected sex, crying, my sad attempt at writing subspace, aftercare

Synopsis: you try to dom sicheng, until you take it too far and the roles are switched back to normal

"Stay still, sicheng." You growled, gripping the mans chin to make him took at you, "And you call me needy." The eyes staring into his rolled making him scoff.

"You're lucky im even letting you do this." Sicheng placed his hands on your hips that were seated on top of his and toyed with the fabric of your pants.

You swatted his hands away, "Dont touch~" you mocked, just like he always does whenever you aren't on your best behavior. It always made you angry but doing it back gave you a sense of power for once.

"Dont be a brat." With bitterness laced in his voice, he decided to give up and place his hands behind his head to rest against the headboard. "Well," he started, "Are you gonna fuck me or not?" Sicheng raised a simple brow at you before you glared in return.

"Patience. That's what you taught me anyway."

"I also taught you to be good, but looks like you still haven't learned." He clenched his jaw.

Meanwhile you were ignoring him and started unbuckling his pants, easily taking his hard dick out. You smirked as he let out a hiss once the cool air in the room came in contact with it, "So sensitive. Isnt that cute."

Slowly, you moved your hand up and down his cock, purposely making him whine and whimper under you as you teased his slit for your own enjoyment. Sicheng slowly made his way down to where your hand was, grabbing your wrists but not pulling them off. He then threw his head back in pleasure, moaning your name out and saying how good you made him feel. Of course, he had to make your ego grow.

"Theres no way you're a dom," You smiled in a way that made his brows furrow before you spat in your hand and placed it back on his achingly hard cock. Sichengs hips lifted into your hands,, wanting more friction, but you pushed his hips down making him whine, "You're just a whiny little slut."

"Y-you did n-not just call me a whiny s-slut..." he tried his best sounding intimidating, but his voice failed him, creating an almost whimpering sound. "F-fuck, go faster."

"Dont tell me what to do." You stopped and squeezed his cock tightly, just enough to make him tighten his grasp on your wrists and groan from what sounded like pleasure and pain.

"Are you forgetting that I can easily put your ass back in its place?" Sicheng stared into your fiery eyes, anger written all over his face. It was stupid of him to even let you try and top him tonight, but he thought it would be something fun to try. But since you're you, you have to 'act' the part too. This made it way more fun.

"Id like to see you try." You stopped squeezing his cock, letting go of it as well and started taking the rest of your clothes off. Sichengs eyes wondered all around your body, taking in the curves and imperfection that made you look so beautiful and perfect in his eyes.

After removing your clothes, you took a seat back on his lap. Closer to his dick than before so he could feel your hot, dripping cunt.

"Hurry or ill fuck you myself." The man under you was holding himself back, all for your pleasure. You could call that sweet of him, but he did have a low patience level which you tested way too much.

"Maybe if you were a good boy."

Sicheng had to laugh, "Good boy? Why don't you be a good girl and ride me, that would be a start."

What was least expected from you, was a slap to sichengs face. He had to admit, it did startle him but it also unlocked a new level of anger that burned inside him.

"I told you to be patient." You smirked, "Impatient slut."

Sicheng had enough. In an instant, he grabbed a fistful of your hair and pushed you off him. Now, your face was shoved into the bed as your ass was in the air against his hips.

"Didn't I just say I could put you back in your place?" He landed a smack to your ass, causing you to whimper and arch your back, "Answer me before you can't sit for a month."

"Y-you did..." Your hand grabbed sichengs, trying to take them out of your hair. It was stupid, but you tried fighting back for your lost dominance. "Get off me!"

He spanked you again, "You're so fucking annoying, thinking you can tell me what to do. I never should have allowed you to dom me tonight."

It was quick the way sicheng didn't waste time sliding into your wet pussy. You knew he was desperate, but you didn't think he was this desperate to be inside you.

"You-youre still a-..fuck- a fu-fucking s-slut, sicheng." You pushed back, sichengs hand letting your hair fall around your face as he pushed on your lower back.

"Keep talking and I won't hesitate to edge you the rest of the night while I cum in your filthy cunt over and over again."

It was painful the way sicheng pounded into you. In fact, you were about to speak but his hips pistoned so hard that you couldn't dare open your mouth without a moan slipping out.

"Silent now?" He let out a breathy laugh, "Good, thats the way I like my little brat."

Everything felt so perfect, your eyes rolled into your head and you could see stars of pure bliss. Every vein and curve of his thick and long cock, you could feel too. You didn't want him to stop and you were so close yet so far with your orgasm.

"Si-sicheng..i-"

"No, don't even think about it."

But you couldn't not think about cumming. Especially when you felt him twitch inside you, knowing he was was on the edge.

That was when he released and painted your cunt white, but did he stop? Hell no. Sicheng continued pounding into you, tightening his grip on your hip and pushing harder on your back.

"Please i cant.." you cried into the sheets, your small fists balling up. This was so difficult, you couldn't hold it anymore.

The word 'please' spilled from your mouth over and over again like a chant, hoping your boyfriend could hear you begging.

"Fine. Cum."

Right after he spoke, your body shook violently as you came, crying loudly as the feeling washed over you. And almost instantly, after fucking you through your intense orgasm, sicheng slipped out of you letting his and your cum drip on the bed as he took you in his arms.

"Shh baby it's okay, I'm right here." He whispered in your ear, softly brushing against it with his lips. But you were too far gone, still not over the orgasm. "I'm gonna clean you up, okay?" You nodded slowly with tears still rolling down your cheeks, watching with big doe eyes as sicheng left to get a cloth so he could clean everything up.

You came back to your senses when sicheng came back. He was quick, cleaning everything like it was nothing and once he finished, he held you in his arms.

"You did so well, baby." He kissed you cheek, "Did I hurt you though? Did I go too rough?"

Shaking your head with a giggle you spoke, "No, it was fine, but...did I hit you too hard?"

He chuckled, "No, but you did shock me. It was pretty bold of you actually." His hand ruffled your already messy hair before saying, "Now get some sleep." His soft lips kissed yours delicately, "I know you're tired."

It was like he casted a spell, your eyes fluttered closed and soon you saw nothing but black.

[obeiii-mee]

Heyo, this is my first time asking (im kinda new to tumblr, so please dont judge) if you would'nt mind, could you do some headcannons (or oneshots, it dosen't matter) with all the demon bros and a MC who is crippled/paralized in their legs, and has to use a wheelchair to get around? Thank you!!

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This is the first time I’ve written about a crippled MC, so I hope I didn’t fuck this up or anything. I found out that being paralysed in both legs is a disability called Paraplegia so that’s how I titled this post. And y’all are too sweet, you are more than welcome anon! I hope I can portray this properly because I am not crippled myself so I’ve opted to do some research before writing this! I hope you like it! Also, I feel inclined to add that none of the brothers would treat you too differently if you happen to have a disability because you’re their human nonetheless :)

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The Brothers with an MC that has Paraplegia and needs a wheelchair to get around:

Lucifer:

-Lucifer was in charge of choosing the final human, exchange student for the program so it’s guaranteed he already knew about your predicament before you even arrived

-Him and Diavolo probably had many meetings concerning your disability before the program could commence, considering that being unable to walk would double the chances of you getting killed since you are obviously more vulnerable

-Not to mention all the treatment you would require

-Lucifer is not well versed in human illnesses and disorders, but he makes sure that he is educated enough on the matter before you get brought down there

-It would not be easy, but he is determined to help you survive your year in DevilDom for the prince’s sake

-First problem of the day was, of course, your wheelchair

-Due to lack of time, Lucifer was unable to instal ramps around the House of Lamentation which meant that for the first couple of weeks, someone would’ve had to help you move around certain parts of the house

-He gave that highly prestigious job to himself because he didn’t trust his brothers and thought they would accidentally drop you and your wheelchair down the stairs

-He talks a lot to you, even at the beginning, because he needs to establish your needs and what he should do to make sure you don’t die for the following year

-You would have to tell him about physical therapy and how most commonly it uses heat, massage and exercise to stimulate your nerves and muscles, making it a great treatment for people with leg paralysis

-Once you two enter a more intimate and personal relationship, it’s more than likely he’ll help you perform those things himself (instead of kidnapping a human doctor from somewhere)

-Lucifer knows you have no problem getting around with your wheelchair by yourself but there are times where he’ll insist to push you along in order to give you a quick break

-I can totally imagine you two strolling around DevilDom and having cosy chats about RAD and your adjustments to DevilDom

-He has a softer side to him that he’s afraid to show most of the time, but he feels so at ease when you’re around, it’s hard for him to hold that part of him hidden from you

-Of course, your safety still remains his primary concern and he acts more like your guardian than Mammon does, even if he was originally supposed to look out for you

-He will accompany you almost anywhere. And if he can’t, he’ll have one or more of his brothers do it. And even then he’s probably lurking nearby, just in case

-He would always be willing to listen about your condition, if you wished to tell him whether you were born with the defect or why you ended up crippled later in life. Either way, he’s all ears

-If you would rather not speak about it, he wouldn’t pry and respect your decision because he knows it’s not his place to pressure you

-Because of your paralysis, it’s quite obvious to demons that you are even weaker (physically speaking) than most humans and that usually puts a target on your back

-Howver, never fear, because Lucifer is pretty quick to put lower rank demons in their place with just a mere stare

-Oop one of them passed out from the fear, haha

-In conclusion, he’s the most responsible when it comes your comfort and safety during your stay

-He makes sure you are always left in good hands and and provides most of the requirements you need

-Y’all should see how his wings puff up when he senses a threat approaching you, he looks like a peacock ready to go on attack lol

Mammon:

-The second born is unsurprisingly a bit of a jerk at first

-He stays really grumpy the whole day of your arrival because he’s stuck babysitting you stupid human

-“Lucifer c’mon, what’s all this workload for? The human can’t even walk by themselves, why do I have to help them out?”

-Wtf Mammon you can’t say shit like that

-Anyways, the following very few days, the only thing he’s thinking about is how much money he could sell your wheelchair for

-He’s the literal incarnation of greed, what else did you expect from him?

-After a while, he starts feeling a bit guilty every time he thinks about it though

-Mammon is gonna take this secret to the grave (laughs in immortal) but he actually really likes pushing you around

-Maybe it’s because it’s a clear indication to everyone around him that you are HIS human, under HIS protection and therefore you trust HIM the most since he was your FIRST MAN

-He will insist on helping you get out of that thing when you need to go to bed and stuff every night and he will get pouty real fast if you let any of his other brothers do it

-You wake up to him trying to roll around in your wheelchair one night at like 3am

-At some point, he stole a wheelchair from the human realm to match with his human. You can guess the consequences of his actions

-I can imagine you having to face a staircase or something at school and Mammon being like:

-“Fuck it, imma carry this fragile human instead; wheelchair and all!”

-Like you were a sack of potatoes or something smh

-Cue his brothers watching him from a distance as he heaves you and basically weight-lifts you up the stairs

-Ok but every now and again, he gets so sad thinking about you not being able to walk, like he starts crying kinda sad

-While you stand there like 😐 “Why are you crying?”

-He’s so quick to help if he senses you’re in danger too

-It’s canon that Mammon is crazy fast if he wants to be so if he has even the slightest impression that your life is threatened, his feet are already moving

-He will charge at your immediate threat at around 120 miles per hour-do not try him when he’s mad

-“The Great Mammon saved the day! C’mon MC, let’s go buy some ice cream. My treat! Ya better be grateful!”

-He says while the demon that tried to eat you lies on the floor with about a dozen broken bones

-Mammon is the second most powerful demon out of all of his brothers, even if he doesn’t resort to violence often

Levi:

-He didn’t really know how to react when you first teleported to DevilDom

-I mean, from the very beginning he considered you to be a human normie but at the same time, he felt bad you were stuck with his brothers for the rest of the year

-I think he would understand you would have an even harder time integrating yourself in their house because of your disability and he knows his siblings are really fucking annoying, always pushing you around and whatnot

-So, he kinda lets you hide in his room quite often

-You guys chill out in there all the time, much to the dismay of the other brothers who also want to spend time with you

-At some point, Levi definitely begged asked Lucifer to let you start online classes with him

-“But wouldn’t it be easier for MC to do online school from home rather than go to R.A.D since there aren’t any ramps or anything around there???”

-“The answer is no Leviathan.”

-“Ugh fine! What a fucking boomer-“

-For some reason, he gets so flustered whenever you ask him to push you around

-He blushes right to the tips of his ears and then he starts sputtering some nonsense that you can’t make out at all

-But he’s more than happy to do it, especially if you guys are going to a convention or if he’s dragging you out to buy new merch

-You two would get along in the sense that Levi realises the struggles you faced all your life were tough to overcome and he believes you are just like him

-Usually left out by other people, ignored even

-He knows you always listen to him ramble on about whatever he is currently obsessed with and how much you check up on him to make sure he never isolated himself

-He wants to do that for you too! Talk to him about your hobbies, please I’m begging you-he feels so bad whenever he’s doing all the talking

-If you ask him to help you with anything (getting something, helping you into bed—that sort of thing), he legally and physically can’t say ‘no’

-And he would get envious enough to stop talking to you for a day or two if you let his brothers do it instead (the second and third born are indeed similar lmao)

-S T A Y I N H I S R O O M, W H E R E Y O U C A N B E P R O T E C T E D !

-He will feel so much more at ease if you’re in his room because to him, that’s his haven

-If you’re in there with him, that means you’re not getting involved in his siblings’ endless and dangerous shenanigans

-Whenever you’re at school, he can’t help but worry about your well-being

-Because you’re human! You’re gonna get killed!! Do you know how much your organs sell on the black market in DevilDom??? 100x more than in the human realm, that’s for sure

-Would they have a black market or would it be a regular market lol

-For some reason, he also likes staying in your wheelchair when you’re not using it

-I think he just takes comfort in knowing it’s something that belongs to you and smells like you and-

-OK Levi, sit back down

-He wouldn’t treat you any differently if you had a disability tbh, but he’d be more concerned because you can’t even run away or anything

-So he’s so fuckin’ relieved when you guys are just vibing in his room

-He could die happy knowing he kept his best friend/ partner safe

Satan:

-Satan would be even more prepared for your arrival than Lucifer would, in a sense

-Out of all of his brothers, he’s most likely to understand and recognise paraplegia (either from studying human illnesses/birth defects/disabilities or from encountering humans with said disability)

-He’s a smart boy, alright?

-Always seems to be the first to notice if you need help or if someone’s bothering you

-Though in the very beginning, he was pretty tempted to just let you get killed to see how angry Lucifer could get

-Seeing dear Luci’s misery brings him great joy 🥰🥰��

-Once you two manage to build a very honest and strong relationship, he feels more and more inclined to keep you out of harm’s way

-Pls, he would feel so honoured if you let him push you around (it’s like you asked him to h*ld h*nds or something)

-If you require treatment of any kind, he would be so happy to help

-But in a subtle way...?

-Satan makes it seem so smooth too like he doesn’t mind lending a helping hand when in reality he’s all giddy inside

-*Kinda wants to rub it in his brothers’ faces but at the same no, because he’s definitely the bigger person here

-He wants to know how your wheelchair works

-It’s got all of these neat mechanisms and he wants to learn how they’re constructed because he never had the chance to inspect one before

-He’s such a sweetheart about asking you as well and never pries about your disability unless you start elaborating yourself

-Most of the time, he acts all charming and very gentleman-like

-So people have a hard time spotting and acknowledging the building rage inside of him every time he sees you are threatened by some moronic low rank demon

-Satan’s usually chill when it comes to injuries, unless he can see you’re in horrible pain

-There’s nothing a few spells can’t accomplish

-But when others purposefully try harming you?

-It’s like he loses all the self control he’s been trying to perfect over the centuries and he can’t help himself from at least breaking someone’s rib cage

-Satan’s a weird one because he’s protective of you even though he’s more on the relaxed side when compared to his siblings

-He very much acknowledges that you made it this far in life with your predicament so he doesn’t feel the need to baby you or anything

-You’re strong and he knows this

-It’s one of the many things he clearly loves about you

-That one time you rolled over Mammon’s foot with your wheelchair on purpose, he was wheezing

Asmo:

-Even now, he can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be stuck inside a wheelchair for the rest of his eternal life

-I mean, he’d obviously still be absolutely fabulous, have you seen him? He’s gonna be gorgeous either way

-But after the two of you meet, he definitely starts thinking about how he takes his feet for granted all the time

-It would be so difficult to complete his daily tasks without the ability to walk or run around

-That’s why he gets sad every time he remembers that’s your reality and on days like that, you’ve noticed he gives you a helluva lot more attention than usual

-He knows you don’t need pity or anything so he’s just making sure his human has all the support they can get

-Paraplegia or not, shopping trips are still a go-go

-He loves buying you clothes! And he loves helping you try them on! Asmo takes it very seriously

-Might have a go at the employees if they’re being rude to you

-You don’t even ask him to, but he subconsciously starts pushing you around himself whenever the two of you are out together

-“MC! Look at that new shop that’s just opened! Isn’t it adorable? We have to check it out!”

-He can’t help it! There’s so many places he wants to visit, he sort of just drags you with him wherever he goes

-Even at home, he always pops out of nowhere to coax you into coming to his room

-Y’all have so many skin routines to do each day

-Like he’s in your room most nights to greet you goodnight and tuck you in, with the rest of his brothers it gets so awkward at times

-Asmo just wants to see you smile, ok? He thinks you have a beautiful smile and laugh and he wants to remind you that you’re marvellous, disability or not

-And if anyone does anything to put an end to your self confidence, he will swiftly put an end to their life

-Please, he’s a pro at ruining lives, he’s been doing it for centuries

-Asmo has such a huge influence over the people in DevilDom, he just needs to make this one post on Devilgram to end said demon’s whole career

-I mean, who is he compared to him, Hmm? So don’t worry MC, scum like that don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as you :)

-That one time Mammon tried lifting you up the stairs and Asmo started shrieking, like put them down! Don’t manhandle them like that, poor human :(

Beel:

-I know I sound repetitive, but he would be an overall sweetheart to you no matter the circumstances

-If Mammon is not by your side, then Beel definitely is

-His big, scary aura and figure usually scares off any threat in a 10 mile radius

-Most demons don’t fancy being eaten by the Avatar of Gluttony, ya know?

-Idk why but I feel like he’d be the type to ask for oral consent every time he wanted to push you around

-He doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable :(

-Surprisingly also the type to lift you and your wheelchair whenever an obstacle gets in your way

-You basically weigh the same amount as a paper plate compared to him, so he has no problem doing so

-He doesn’t really understand your condition as well as Satan may do, but he’s trying his best

-You mean so much to him and he feels it’s only fair he learns more about your disability as a thank you for what you’ve done for him

-He has a rough time keeping up with you when it comes to stuff like physical therapy because he’s very unfamiliar with it but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna help

-Of course, Beel believes that this is the second best way to show you how much he cares for you besides the obvious ‘I love you’

-Giving you a hand whenever you need his support the most

-That’s his way of saying “I’m not going to let you down. I want you to trust me, the same way I trust you.”

-And knowing him, he will try to do everything in his power to keep you safe and sound

-After a while, you’re bound to notice he’s the first one to pull you out of his brothers’ pranks before you have a chance to get hurt

-Beel is always the one handing you stuff from high places you can’t reach, without teasing you for it like Mammon might do

-Always the first one to remind you to get plenty of rest and to eat enough

-He wants to protect you and his brothers because he knows he failed to do so with Lilith so yeah, he’s a bit overprotective at times

-He doesn’t mean to be overbearing, but he gets so anxious knowing you’re by yourself

-After a few months of getting accommodated with him, your disability is no longer brought up in the conversation

-Because he doesn’t care that you are crippled and forced to use a wheelchair

-You are part of his family and he loves you no matter what

Belphie:

-He didn’t really care, even when you first met and his hatred for humans was at its very peak

-It didn’t matter that you had a disability

-All that mattered to him at the time was killing you to satisfy that deeply rooted need of vengeance inside of him

-Though he was sort of surprised his brothers didn’t get to you first

-In general, he’s pretty chill about you being crippled in both legs

-It takes too much effort to worry about your well-being 24/7 after all

-Surprisingly, he does keep an eye out for you if his siblings aren’t nearby

-It’s his redemption arc people, he’s trying to be nicer

-But he has such an irritating way of showing his affection for you

-Do not let him push you around

-He’s either going to a) fall asleep after 30 seconds and slump over you in the middle of RAD’s halls

-Or b) be annoying and fling your wheelchair in every direction possible just to piss you off

-He likes messing with you because you give him the best reactions and he thrives on that

-You’ve almost fallen off your wheelchair multiple times because of this asshole

-Not that he’d actually let you fall, he just wants to see how easily he can get you to yell at him

-Speaking of said wheelchair, like Mammon and Levi, he also loves using it when you’re not

-You’ve woken up to him curled up and asleep in that thing quiet often and he’s gotten in trouble over it every time with Lucifer

-But he doesn’t care

-And at this point, I don’t think even he knows whether he’s doing it to get a reaction out of you or because he somehow found a way to make himself comfortable there

-He would low key use you as a mode of transportation every time you go to RAD

-Just clings the damn wheelchair and almost topples both of you over

-“Belphie, there’s nothing stopping you from walking 😐”

-“Shh, just bring me to class and let me nap until then.”

-He doesn’t mention your legs but he still lays his head on your lap often

-Might make you hold him like a bride every time you stroll around the house

-It’s done out of love, I promise 😌😌

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Al~