#anyways this is just so f sad for anyone who cared about their dynamic in any way

[ttomuras]

just saw all the fan translations and if this is accurate (i don’t fully trust the fan translaters ngl) then this is the saddest fucking ending mha could have gotten. and i already don’t like the original ending. but this shit? is heartbreaking

[midnightswithdearkatytspb]

VelvetCardiganBucky’s Recommendations 2021: Week 12 & 13 | March 14th – March 27th

Welcome to weeks 12 & 13 of my recommendations, if you would like to be featured on a future list, I follow the hashtag #VelvetCardiganBucky, message me, tag me in your future works, or reblog this post and link to your story, one-shot, Masterlist, writing challenge, etc.

Be aware some if not most stories and writers on this list are meant to be consumed by an audience of those 18+. My blog is also an 18+ blog.

✨Page breaks are made @firefly-graphics✨

«Last Week

Week 14»

My Masterlist

My Fic Rec List of Mafia/Mob Bucky/Sebastian & Steve/Chris/Andy

Stuff I Posted This Week:

Steve + Bey = 4Ever » Steve Rogers and Bey carved places in each other’s hearts, that no one else could ever replace.

I Hear A Symphony » Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Reader — Reader plays an important song to her for Bucky.

—Formerly The Winter Soldier » “I’m no longer the winter soldier, my name is James Bucky Barnes & you're part of my effort to make amends.”

Lee Bodecker

(Mini) Series:

*Give In by @not-a-great-writer » soft!dark!Lee Bodecker x shy!Reader — She didn’t think she was anything special. So when the intimidating Sheriff takes an interest in her, she can’t help but feel a little unsettled. Her boring life is about to get a little interesting. | This story has to be one of my all time series I’ve ever read, and I know I will weep when it’s over. The chapters are decently sized, you have angst, fluff and smut. I couldn’t ask for more, it’s simply a masterpiece.

Deadbeat Pt. 9 by @the-witty-pen-name » Lee Bodecker x F!Reader — You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room. | Cole thank you for feeding my current Lee Bodecker obsession after I watched The Devil All The Time, for the time. This story is good and I love soft!Lee, and one where no one dies. At least I hope no one dies...

SamBucky

One-Shots:

Loving You Is Cherry Pie by @river-soul » Sam Wilson x Reader x Bucky Barnes — When Sam Wilson, one of your regulars at the cafe finally asks you out, you’re ecstatic until he tells you he wants his friend to join. When you meet Bucky, you decide it might be worth your while after all. [Allusions to stalking, exhibitionism and explicit sex, 18+] | There is just not enough SamBuck stories out there and we have @river-soul to thank for feeding our love for the boys and giving us some good smut, especially to tide us over till Friday.

Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM by @callmeluna » Sam Wilson x Reader x Bucky Barnes — You are admittedly a handful when you’ve had a few drinks in you. Luckily, your partners Sam and Bucky are more than up for the challenge… maybe. | If you are looking for something to make you laugh, might I suggest reading this? The whole time as I read this I couldn’t get the huge smile off my face, it was that good.

Bucky Barnes

Drabbles:

Matching by @heli0s-writes » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Reader and Bucky are “matchy matchy,” with their belly button rings. | This is adorable as well as very funny.

One-Shots:

Smooth Criminal by @bestofbucky » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Based on a dream @velvetcardiganbucky had. You’re parents told you to never give rides to strangers, but when you notice Bucky Barnes trying to break into your car, you know some strangers aren’t so bad. | Jenny did my dream justice! I honestly couldn’t have asked for anything better.

Don’t Over Do It by @whisperlullaby » Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your boyfriend is an asshole. Bucky reminds you that you are perfect the way you are. | I can’t describe this anyway other than perfect, that I wish I had a Bucky like this there for me. Trust me you’ll love the ending.

Coming Home to You by @angrythingstarlight » Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your Biker boyfriend is finally home and he’s going to show you how much he missed you. With every inch he has. And you’re going to remember how much he loves you. | It’s not very often you read something that has an alternate ending and when you do you find yourself loving both endings. Both endings are hot, the smut is great, again who couldn’t love Biker!Bucky?

Won’t Let You Go by @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay » Mob!Bucky Barnes x OFC!Kori — Kori met Bucky in one of his clubs, out to get shit-faced with a couple of friends to forget about her worries and maybe take home a guy to further rid herself of her numerous frustrations. Little did she know that the one-night stand with Bucky would turn into so much more than that. | Thank you so much for entering my writing challenge, it means so much. This one-shot is so good, it hit me right the feels and left me falling in love with Kori and Bucky.

Show Me How To Ride by @angrythingstarlight » Beefy Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — You’ve been keeping a secret from your biker boyfriend. He is going to get the information out of you one way or the other. | It’s hot and it makes you realize just how much you realize just how much you love Biker!Bucky.

Bubble Baths by @floatingpetals » Bucky Barnes x Reader (Modern AU) — Even your boyfriend Bucky, needs to wind down at the end of a stressful with a bubble bath, but he doesn’t want to do it alone. | Okay, so my summary of this sucks but let me just say this is fluffy and smutty all at once. I wish I had Bucky to take a bubbly bath with.

Bad Boy!Bucky Barnes x Shy!Reader by @gagmebucky — in which there’s nowhere to sit and bucky offers his lap—then, subsequently, his cock. (bad boy!bucky x shy!reader, dirty talk, exhibitionism and voyeurism, cockwarming, unprotected sex.) | *chugs water* yeah is it a little hot in here? I probably would have failed class if Bucky had been in my class along with Steve, I wouldn’t have known who to stare at, forget learning the material.

**Greater Good by @fuel-joy » Bucky Barnes x Reader — There is a cure for the zombie outbreak but is it worth the cost. | Grab your tissues, because you are going to need them. Thanks darling for entering my writing challenge and making me feel so many feels with this one.

(Mini) Series:

A Tender Heart ♥️ Pt. 2 by @river-soul » Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader — You’ve been sweet on Bucky since you started working at the compound six months ago. Normally quiet and mild mannered, an unexpired fight with a coworker brings Bucky into your orbit. [A/B/O dynamics, brief mention of bullying and fluff] | If anyone can pull at your heartstrings it’s @river-soul making the beginning of this series look so promising and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

Run To You 🪙 Pt. 10 🪙 Pt. 11 🪙 Pt. 12 by @bestofbucky » Mob!Bucky Barnes x Bodyguard!Reader — Mob boss Bucky Barnes hires you to be his bodyguard. | Jenny left me at the edge of my seat, making this such an amazing story, I always look forward to her updates, and so sad that there is only 1 chapter left.

Better than Working sequel to This by @angrythingstarlight » Beefy Biker!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Beefy Biker Bucky shows you all the benefits of working from home. In fact what he has for you is so much better than work. | Sometimes you just need to read something hot to lift your spirits, let this do that.

Stucky

One-Shots:

*Tell Me What You Want by @angrythingstarlight » Mafia!Steve Rogers x Reader; Mafia!Bucky Barnes x Reader — Your mob boyfriend, is none other than Steve Rogers and he is willing to get you whatever you wanted, all you have to do is ask. And be careful what you ask for because he’s going to give it to you over and over again. | This is so hot that I highly recommend not reading this anywhere out in public. The smut in this is just *chefs kiss*

(Mini) Series:

Miracle Pt. 2 🥀 Pt. 1 by @heavenhatesme » Soft!Dark!Bucky Barnes x Reader; Soft!Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader — When infertility threatens mankind with extinction and there hasn’t been a baby for almost 18 years, what happens when two certain super soldiers fall for the same woman and accidentally impregnate her? | It’s not tagged as dark, sorry to the writer I tagged it that please forgive me? But I just want to tell everyone heed the tags. I do look forward to reading what happens next. The smut in this is great!

Invisible Ink by @navybrat817 » Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers — The owners of the Howling Commandos Tattoo Parlor want to make you their best girl. | I love the idea of tattoo’d Bucky and Steve, but that's because I have a weakness for tattoo’s. So this series is just right up my alley, and the start of it is so good that I know it’s good to be a great one!

Steve Rogers

Drabbles:

Chocolate Milk & Dino Nuggets by @nony-bear » Steve Rogers x Reader — Daddy Steve helps make his little girl feel better after a long week. DDLG THEMES | Had me wishing I had a Steve to make me Dino nuggets after a long day at work. It’s precious folks.

Prompt 4K Drabble Challenge by @sweeterthanthis » Steve Rogers x Reader — “Show me how deep you can take it.” | You’re going to need an ice cold bath after this one.

One-Shots:

A Cruel Tide by @writerwrites » Nomad!Steve Rogers x Reader — A lost hero thinks she needs saving, but this divorcée’s needs were different, fleeting, and then full of attachment. Can they overcome the burdens on their shoulders and keep their word? | Sometimes you want to wrap the reader and Steve in a blanket and protect them while enjoying the smut. This gave me that and more.

Untitled Request by @navybrat817 » Steve Rogers x Reader — Sending Steve a naughty photo while he’s in a meeting leads to punishment that will remind you to never do it again, right? | Hi, I’m just going to drench myself in ice cold water. ✌🏻

(Mini) Series:

*Control Pt. 3 🔐 Pt. 1 🔐 Pt. 2 by @river-soul » dark!Steve Rogers x Reader — When a probationary agent asks you out on a date you learn Steve’s intentions for you have evolved. He doesn’t take kindly to someone touching what’s his. [Noncon, physical violence (biting), grooming behavior and explicit sex, 18+] | Definitely one of my favorite series to read on Tumblr so far, you know it’s dark, and the smut is great. I always look forward to the updates on this one.

*Lipstick and Crayons 🖍 Ch. 4 by @oneoftheprettynerds » Dark Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader — Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob. | This story always gets my heart a racing and leaves you with questions as to what is going to happen next. I truly love it and Soft!Dad while being Angry!Mob boss Steve all at the same time, this story just has it all for me.

This Is My Unbecoming by @river-soul » Werewolf!Steve Rogers x Witch!Reader — When the Hydra pack graduates from turning humans to swell their ranks to kidnapping and murdering witches to consolidate power, Steve knows he needs to strike. He makes a deal with a powerful coven leader for a witch of his own in exchange for destroying the rogue pack. [Magical realism, biting, blood, slightly dubious consent and explicit sex, 18+] | Okay this is so good and I would like to thank the teenage mind of @river-soul for creating this! Like seriously thank you. I look forward to reading more!

It’s been a long, long time ☕️ Ch.1 by @mostly-marvel-musings » Steve Rogers x Reader — Steve Rogers – a man who has lost too much finds himself blending into the crowd in attempts to forget his past but revisits familiar places and spends days sketching his heart out. A rainy evening leads him to find shelter in your coffee shop. Is having meaningful conversations over endless cups of coffee with a stranger the key to unlocking a heart that’s lost the will to love? | The prologue tore my heart out, it truly did but the first chapter just puts the pieces back together. I really love this and I’m honestly looking forward to reading what happens next. I can’t thank you enough for entering my writing challenge!

*Not A Team Part: 1 by @shedobewritingalittle » Steve Rogers x Reader — The Reader tries to live a normal life, but her memories won’t leave her alone. Rhodey comes to visit the reader with a proposition. | There aren't a lot of stories out there that have walk on parts with Rhodey in it and I didn’t know how much I missed out on having him in stories till I read this. This was just so well written and the characterization of Rhodey was perfect, how Peyton got the emotions written across, it’s perfect. Read this and have some tissues on hand. I will always love it.

Andy Barber

One-Shots:

Closing Arguments by @river-soul » Andy Barber x Reader — Andy and you are going out for the first time since your daughter’s birth. Anxious about leaving her behind Andy does his best to make you feel better. [Fluff with explicit sex (f recieving), 18+] | So fluffy and sweet!

Keep the Heat by @ozarkthedog » Andy Barber x Reader — Andy fucks you in the coat. | Semi-Short and the smut is oh so good.

(Mini) Series:

Homebound 🏡 Ch. 1 by @fuel-joy » Dark!Andy Barber x Reader — You witness your neighbor kill his wife. You try to gather evidence all from the comfort of your home. | Prepare to be at the edge of your seat with this one, it’s just that good.

One Night by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor » Dark!Andy Barber x Reader — One night changes your entire life. | This is dark and exciting, with tons of angst in it. I love a real good dark!Andy fic and this is it.

Chris Evans

One-Shots:

Mirrors by @cherrychris » Chris Evans x Reader — “wanna know what i see? me owning you and this sweet little pussy” | Sometimes you read things that just blow your mind and this was one of those things.

*Work Party by @harrylovex » Chris Evans x Reader — you get drunk at a work party and chris looks after you… | This is really adorable and probably one of my favorite fluffy Chris Evans one-shots I’ve ever read.

Misc.

One-Shots:

An Act of Kindness by @stargazingfangirl18 » Jake Jensen x Female!Reader — A simple act of kindness seals your fate. | I would like to simply start of by saying that this was my first Jake Jensen fanfiction in years, or maybe my first one, and all I could was where have I been hiding from him? So good and glad I read this and so will you!

*Come Back Safe by @celestialbarnes » Sam Wilson x Reader — based on tfatws, you find out sam’s leaving for a mission, afraid to lose the man you love, you confront him, and he promises you to come back. | So fluffy you’ll want to cuddle it under a blanket fort and wish under a thousand starry night skies for it to come true.

(Mini) Series:

Fiery Friends Pt. 3 🔥 Pt. 4 by @wanderinglunarnights » Johnny Storm x OFC!Sophia Jones — Johnny invites his best friend Sophia to stay with him in his penthouse during quarantine. | I really like this story, because I find myself mentally rooting for Sophia and Johnny, also going you go girl. Looking forward to what is next for this duo.

Ensnared Pt. 2 🔗 Pt. 1 by @stargazingfangirl18 » Ransom Drysdale x Female!Reader; minor Robert Pronge (Mr. Freezy) x Reader — Robert preps you for the handoff to the smooth talking stranger who bought you, but before he lets you go, he wants to have a little fun first. | So good and hot. Honestly I look forward to hopefully finding out what happens between the reader and Ransom.

Made With Love by @ayybtch » Wanda Maximoff x f!Reader + Friends to Lovers — Wanda is an excellent cook but a terrible baker. A rough day leads her to the bakery in the Avengers compound where she meets you, the lead baker. After a dismal attempt at making chocolate chip cookies, you volunteer to help Wanda learn how to bake. Your friendship grows stronger with each successful recipe until the two of you stumble into something even sweeter than baked goods. | This story will constantly have you smiling, sure it’s only 3 chapters so far, but I started off reading it in a bad mood but by the 3rd chapter I was just so sappy and happy. I can’t wait for more!

Without Me by CuttingMyFingersOff » Legolas x OFC!Braigeth — Braigeth was an elf who has nothing but memories of Legolas to help her survive being imprisoned in the walls of Orthanc. That is, until she is able to escape and reunite with him. | I’ve been invested in this since my friend came forward to me with the idea for this story and now that it’s being written, I couldn’t be more excited to read it. I need more Lord of the Rings in my life if I’m being honest.

Forever and Ever More by @syntheticavenger » Dark Alpha!Ransom Drysdale x Omega!Reader — Ransom Drysdale may be Boston’s most eligible Alpha but he has his eyes set on you. With his inheritance hanging in the balance, he won’t take no for an answer, whether you like him or not. | Prepared to go on a Hawaiian EMOTIONAL roller coaster with this story, there are so many times in this story you find yourself picking your jaw up off the floor. I’ve linked you to chapter 9, which has all the previous chapters, listed.

Is A Shout Out To My...

@bluemusickid in celebration of 700 followers is hosting a Holi Celebration Writing Challenge, that is due April 30th, but extension can be given. Any Marvel or MCU characters can be used in addition to Chris Evans and his characters. The theme is Holi and its colors, for better explanation visit the link provided.

@whisperlullaby in celebration of 700 followers is hosting a 700 Followers Challenge, your entries will be due May 5th. The theme is kinks, no RPF, DDLG/MMLG, bathroom related , incest, or under age kinks. This is MCU characters, Sebastian Stan, and Chris Evans characters x OFC or Reader. For more information visit the link provided. Congrats Becca on the 700 followers you deserve it hun!

@stargazingfangirl18 in celebration of 5K followers is hosting a Soft Dark Writing Challenge, which is due May 31st. Don’t let the name fool you, your writing can be soft, dark, or soft!dark, or headcanons about any Chris character. 500 word minimum with no max, but new or be read as a stand alone piece. For more information visit the link provided and be sure to congratulate Siri on her 5K milestone!

@cloudystevie in celebration of 4K followers is hosting a Mob!AU Writing Challenge, that is due on May 30th. You can use Chris Evans and any of his characters he’s played before, as well as make it NSFW or SFW. To learn more about it please visit the link below. Also congratulations Jasmeen on the 4K followers! 💗

[daddywright]

I have only recently got into the ace attorney fandom, and this story was the first story I read, and I feel spoiled! I absolutely loved every chapter, so I'm gonna word vomit here and tell you everything I love about this!

"She offers him a smile. It’s small, tentative, but it possesses a strength that makes a hidden part of him twist and burn with quiet envy." the first time we see nick's wish to be as strong as mia!

Considering the fact that nick didn't have any prominent figure in his life, it makes sense that he would look up to gregory so much

"Phoenix looks up, and starts walking towards Mia Fey

He doesn't stop for two years."

THE RELATIONSHIP THAT MIA AND NICK HAD WAS PRECIOUS AND DESERVES MORE THAN WHAT THE FANDOM GIVES THEM

"Larry’s arms wrap around him, squeezing almost too tight" People forget that Larry and Phoenix were good friends too, and Larry would help his best friend

"Nobody believed him, nobody but Mia" Maya is what Phoenix is to Mia and I adore that

"He wishes, desperately, that he’d said it while she was still alive. I loved you. For everything you did." Not you absolutely breaking my fucking heart

Also the first AA game felt unnatural in the sense of how seemingly unaffected Phoenix seemed at Mia's murder so I'm really glad you wrote it this way

"Expensive. Thoughtful. Too much." SHUT UP NICK YOU DESERVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING

Also quick break to mention how I absolutely fucking love your writing style and i wish I was literally half as talented as you cuz the last time I read something that made me feel this multitude of emotions was ocean vuong. And I practically worship Ocean Vuong. So now I worship you too

"You're a stranger to me // When will I stop hoping?" I never really realised just how badly nick musta been hurt by good ol' bratworth before this fic, but now that I have read it, it would have hurt him so bad

"Is this why you never answered my letters? Because I was a reminder? Because it hurt too much?" Honestly what happened to miles and phoenix's friendship hurts so much because it should have never happened, and miles didn't deserve that.

"Maybe Miles Edgeworth is not the man he thought he’d be, either." yo when I tell you this hurt I mean this huRT

Fun fact! My birthday is on the same day as DL-6 anniversary. Gregory Edgeworth died on my birthday. I feel horrible now

"monster. You were nine years old and he's a monster. " No one has made me feel this much emotion for what happened to Miles in a single sentence other than you. I commend you for that

"I love you," he says quietly. He has never said those words to anyone, except for Dahlia Hawthorne.

Maya sniffs in his ear, crushing him tight. "I love you, too."

He has never heard them back.

PHOENIX HAS NEVER HEARD THE WORDS " I LOVE YOU" COME BACK TO HIM ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME WHY NOW I'M SAD

"Tell me everything. Every detail—" Miles is worried bout nick and why wouldn't he? gods you're so gay miles but tbf if I knew someone like nick irl i'd go ballistic too

"He determined the motive for his own assault...with amnesia. Naturally." My man's smart af and he is king

"Is that what she thinks of me? That I'm like that? That I don't care about who the bad guys really are?" Gumshoe noooo you're hella precious! Also this particular chapter was so well written! loved this soo much!

Also taking a minute to appreciate the pacing! Rarely do I ever come across an author who just hits that sweet spot of perfect pacing and you did! so thank you!

Alright so here are a few thoughts that I felt capcom needed to do which you did for us!

no. 1 - Address the trauma phoenix faced with not only dahlia but also with mia's death

no. 2 - Actually fucking flesh out a good relationship dynamic between larry and phoenix

no. 3 - actually! have! phoenix! be hurt! in bridge to turnabout! istg my man would not have dropped from a burning bridge to a freezing river only to have a cold

AUNT FRANZY AND PEARLS MAN!

THEY CUTE

ok so I have a LOT of feelings for bridge to turnabout and HOO BOY BUCKLE UP

So I always thought that in this fic, miles must have felt fucking awful! I mean he very clearly hates who he was and what that has led to but that must have been doubled over with this case! Phoenix would have died if not for mia and it would have been indirectly miles's fault. I think about that alot

Like he said that he very much regrets whatever he did as bratworth in the phone call with gumshoe but i don't think he anticipated this. poor edgeworth

Also I think this was the final nail in the coffin for miles. Phoenix forgave him, after all the fucked up shit miles did, and that made that man go "how is this guy so fucking compassionate awwwww shit I'm in fucking love with this idiotic brave man".

my main thoughts were "holy shit phoenix must have been feeling awful." like to learn that you were in love with a person who turned out to be a murderer but then not a murderer cuz everything you felt about that was real and just...... it must have hurt. He never fell in love with dahlia. it was iris, always. and WHAT ABOUT MILES DURING THIS!!! Like to learn that the man you love was falsely led to believe that he was in love with a person he rarely met and then learn that his ex who is not murderous might still be in love with him because "that was real. that part was real." like damn. people just gloss over this

also I feel terrible for iris F in the chat for iris lads.

Dahlia literally haunting that courtroom scene. I felt mia's power. I felt her desperation. I felt everything and I am once again in awe of the absolute power your writing holds.

also godsdamn pearls had to go through all that shit huh. also FRANMAYAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU

I too, am a hoe confused as to what I should feel towards diego.

Ok anyways we jump to disbarment now

"He just winks at her and says Maya has other talents, and if Mystic Maya overhears, she puffs up at him like the fish from the aquarium she saw once, the one with all the spikes and silly eyes."

you know what constantly amazes me? your ability to change tones so effortlessly. When writing from edgey's pov, the language is sophisticated. precise. when writing from pearly's pov your language is simplistic, child-like. from phoenix's pov it's natural. grounded

"She never knew anybody who made faces like him, growing up in Kurain, and it’s one of the things that makes him special." Yo phoenix is the most amazing uncle ever and we all know it ok he's brilliant

I'M RUNNING OUT OF CHARACTER LIMITS

PEARLY CALLING EDGEY AT FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE I'M SOFFFFTTTT

“I think I did something really bad." trucy baby no it's not your fault

pearl and trucy bonding supremacy. my girls would fuck shit up

"She’d meant to do this properly, one day." Thank you for giving importance to maya's feelings. thank you for treating her like a real human being. thank you

“Everything that happened...for what? It’s only gotten people hurt. Pearly. Our mother.” Me. Me." I felt so bad for maya here. I wish I could tell you in precise words about how this exact framing of the sentence is what broke me. "me. me" maya deserved more, but mia did all she could

"What do scared kids need? ...Food." not you breaking my godsdamn heart again. phoenix just knows what's it like being a helpless child, and he'll be damned if he ever lets anyone face that again

“‘Course, Pearls,” he says reflexively, before frowning. “What for?” reflexively. if every man in the world could be like phoenix wright then the world would be worthy of the gods

"Another one?" give it 2 years edgey she'll be your daughter too

"after countless hours creating the man’s living space in his mind from the background snatches he’d seen in the man’s ridiculous video calls." NOT ONLY DO THEY VC FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON BUT ALSO MILES ACTUALLY SPENDS TIME TRYING TO RECREATE HIS ROOM?? BECAUSE HE WOULD ONE DAY LIKE TO BE IN IT??? good gods these bitches gay. good for them

"because just as day is light and night is dark, Phoenix Wright is an honorable man." damn straight. you love to see it (it being a 27+ year old man pining for another 27+ year old man)

also hey miles! how do you feel about the fact that the man you love changed his fucking major and degrees halfway through college just so he could see you again only for you to be incredibly rude to him and make him end up in jail! (i bully edgeworth cuz i love him)

"Wright finishes, shrugging like it’s nothing, like his commitment and belief isn’t the most extraordinary thing that Miles has ever faced." it's more than pining at this point. it's incredible faith and trust. Miles had someone who cared about him even after all those years despite him having changed so drastically, ofc he would be surprised. Miles loves phoenix and so do i.

also HOT DAMN YOU WRITING IS JUST * MWAH *

Also the whole segment where they kiss is just !!!!! miles wants! it's beautiful! THEY'RE IN LOVEEE

receiving poisonous bottles which your ex tried to kill you with. My man can't get a break huh

Miles being chivalrous and protective and absolutely stealing my godsdamn heart (and phoenix's too)!

Klavier being the absolute king that he is we stan

The hostage situation section? gods miles must have been terrified.

Phoenix not being able to promise pearly that he'd always come back home and miles hearing it and like... ouch. my heart. you didn't need to do that (but i love your for it)

GODS THE CLIMAX WITH KRISTOPH WAS SOOO SATISFYING AND LIKE MY MAN PHOENIX REALLY PUNCHED THAT BITCH HUH

klavier baby I am so sorry

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL!

and thus my comment ends. I believe I have almost used up all of my commenting limits and i leave with these few parting words : HOLY SHIT YOUR AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!

also I made a playlist on spotify for this fic! here's the link : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3k8lRHiO8ZXQDLpiTUL7SN?si=fc3b35b4ab064867

gods this was long huh

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY....WHERE DO I BEGIN...THE FACT THAT YOU BROKE THE CHARACTER LIMIT ON AO3 AND MADE A PLAYLIST? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

thank you so much for all the amazing things you said....i am crying on a Wednesday morning knowing my writing was appreciated this much. thank you!

[cora-vizsla]

The Kings Pet (2)

Chapter 2

Rated: Explicit (18+)

Work Count: 5K+

Warning: Smut, Dom!Boba, sub!reader, dirty talk, teasing, edging, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (established relationship)

Authors Note: If I missed any tags/warnings, please let me know! Part one is here and has warnings and if you feel like it needs to be added let me know. Thank you to everyone who shared and liked it. I very much so appreciate it!

It was comfortable; the routine you were in. There was very little time that you had to be by yourself, which was absolutely new. Most of your life had been spent on your own so even though the companionship was uncomfortable sometimes, it was welcomed. Even though Boba was often gruff, he was bordering soft with you.

You knew he deeply cared about you. That much was obvious. The way he always made sure you were fed and comfortable spoke volumes to you. You didn’t need words of affirmation when everything he did for you was for your benefit. You may have been the one on the floor by his feet, but he was the one ensuring you never went without.

On the day that a bright silver man came in armor very similar to Boba’s, you took notice of how quiet everyone in the room became. His footsteps echoed and everyone seemed to tense except for the man you were leaning against. He turned to face the throne fully, but his helmet stayed on.

“Din.”

“Boba.”

His helmet moved slightly so it was pointed to you but looked back up at the armored man above you. Neither of them seemed ill at ease but if he was anything like your Master, he wasn’t much of a talker.

“What brings you to my palace?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard that while saving the child I ended up with the Dark Saber.”

Boba immediately barked out a laugh which made you jump out of shock. He continued laughing and leaned forward, resting his hand gently on the top of your head.

“Sorry, mesh’la, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

You gave him a smile and nodded. You had started to pick up on the affectionate things he said to you in Mando’a and it made your heart seize. He still called you pet most of the time, but the times where he did break just that tiny bit and call you sweet things made your heart swell. You saw the visor of who he called Din look at you again.

“Fennec told me about the princesses incessant need to win the saber through battle.”

“I don’t want to fight her. I tried to yield. I have no interest in the throne of Mandalore.”

“You should take it just to spite her. Though she’s already lost it twice. Perhaps she should stick to ruling cantina tables and hunting down Imperial ships.”

Din shifted his weight and sighed, resting his hand on his blaster holder. Normally Boba would have been on his feet firing but Din really just seemed exhausted. You weren’t sure how you knew that considering you hadn’t seen his face, but his entire body was screaming he just wanted to rest.

“What do you need of me?”

“I’m going to Mandalore to leave the saber there. If she wants it so badly, she can just take it. If it leaves my hands on her planet perhaps, she won’t pursue me anymore. I could use some backup.”

“Do you think she will chase you?”

“Yes.”

“Does she know you’re here?”

“Yes.”

“Does she know you’re going to ask me for backup?”

“Yes.”

“So, then I get to shoot her ship.”

“If it comes to that, yes.”

“Let me pack my things.”

He leaned forward and lifted your chin towards him gently.

“Stay here, mesh’la. Keep Din company while I prepare myself and give Fennec instructions. You’ll stay here with her. I don’t want you put in harms way.”

You gave him a small pout but nodded. He chuckled as he stood up and left the throne room. Everyone else seemed to get back to business but Din stood there, presumably staring at you. It made you a little uncomfortable which was confusing. People looked at you all the time but not as intently as he was.

“He speaks to you in Mando’a. Do you understand it?”

“No. I usually just interpret it with his tone. If he’s angry, it isn’t good. If he’s cheerful, it’s a good thing.”

“Boba is cheerful?”

You let out a small giggle and cover your face. You felt bad laughing at the idea but what he said was what everyone always thought, they were just too afraid to say it.

“He can be. Not when people come here asking him for things but when no one is bothering him.”

“Were you here when he took the palace?”

You felt your face heat up when you realized he was trying to figure out your relationship with Boba.

“No. I was brought here for stealing. When he found out why I stole he took pity on me and made a deal with me. He would protect me and absolve me of my crimes if I..”

You weren’t sure how to explain the dynamic in a way that wouldn’t make you sound like a slave. To be honesty, you weren’t really sure what your connection to him was anymore. You did have sex with him, but it wasn’t like you didn’t want to. You were always more than willing and eager to do whatever he wanted to do.

“Is he forcing you to stay here?”

“What? No! Not at all. I.. I like being here with him. I’m sure it looks odd.”

“I am not judging you. He seems to care for you.”

Your face started to heat up again and you tried to make yourself smaller.

“I think he does. It’s not like I asked him.”

He hummed and walked over, sitting on the raised flooring. He wasn’t next to you but much closer than anyone else had dared to do so. You glaced over at the door to the throne room and Din chuckled.

“He won’t be mad. There aren’t enough Mandalorians left for us to kill each other unless it’s life or death.”

“Your armor looks much newer than his.”

“It is. Mine was crafted in pure beskar and his was his fathers. He didn’t tell you that?”

You shook your head, feeling very small. In reality you knew very little of the man. It didn’t matter much to you. What mattered was how he treated you.

“He is an honorable man. He helped me with the most important task I’ve ever been given. Someday I will pay him back for that.”

“Who.. who is Bo-Katan?”

“An entitled princess who thinks she is better than everyone else she meets.”

You turned your head and smiled as Boba walked towards you. Fennec was right behind him and she flopped down in the throne, propping her leg up on one of the arm rests. Boba sighed at her but turned his attention back to you.

“Walk with me to my ship, mesh’la. I want your face to be the last I see before I leave.”

You furrowed your brow and glanced at Din who was shaking his head. You walked with Boba up the steps and into the burning sun. You pulled your hand up to shield your eyes from the light, and he chuckled, quickly pulling you up the ramp of Slave I. You looked around at the inside realizing it was the first time you had been in his ship.

“Fennec will be with you the entire time. She will keep you safe. Do you need anything before you go?”

“No, sir.”

“You look sad, pet.”

“I.. I will admit I don’t want you to leave.”

“I would prefer not dealing with Bo-Katan as well. If it weren’t dangerous, I would bring you with me.”

“I’ve never been off Tattooine before.”

He reached out, gloved hands cupping the sides of your face. You smiled up at him and put your hands gently on the metal covering his chest.

“Someday, little one, I’ll show you the entire galaxy. Would you like that?”

“Very much so. But.. you don’t need to do all of that for me. You already do so much.”

“Hush now. Everything I do for you is because I want to take care of you, pet. You’re such a good girl for me.”

You bit your bottom lip and nodded to him.

“I’m going to miss you, mesh’la. There are some things I need you to do for me though.”

“Anything. What is it?”

He used his thumb to push your chin up slightly, exposing your neck to him before moving his hand down to lightly grip the base of your neck. You tried to suppress a shiver but when you failed, he chuckled lowly at you.

“I want you to spend my time away thinking of all the ways I like to pleasure you. I want you to think about my face between your legs as I make you cum in my mouth. Can you do that?”

“Y-yes, sir.”

“Good girl. Then I want you to think about the way I feel between your legs as I have you on your back. I want you to remember what it feels like to scream my name while I pound into that tight pussy of yours. Can you do that too?”

You whimper and nod, gasping when his hand starts to tighten on you.

“Ah, you know the rules, pet. Aren’t you supposed to use words when talking to me?”

“Y-yes. Yes, I can do that, sir.”

“Good girl. Next I want you to think about all the times I’ve had you ride my cock while I sit on the throne. Think about what it feels like to have yourself stretched out around me.”

“O-okay. Okay I will.”

“One last thing though.”

“Yes, sir?”

He kept one hand on your throat and ran the other down your body, moving inward until he had his hand roughly cupping you between your legs. He moved his helmet, so the face was right by your ear and you whimpered when his voice came out in a growl.

“You can’t touch yourself. You can’t put your pretty little fingers anywhere near your pretty little cunt. I want you wanting and needy for me when I come back. Do you understand?”

A whine ripped from your throat and you sounded ridiculous to yourself, but Boba practically purred out praise for you.

“Head back inside, pet. Remember what you promised me, and I will be back to you as soon as I can.”

“B-be safe?”

He pulled your head forward and pressed his forehead to yours.

“I’ll be back to you soon, mesh’la.”

It had been two weeks and to say you were frustrated was an understatement. You swore that Fennec knew what he had said to you because she hadn’t shut up about sex since Slave I took off. You hardly said anything, but your patience was wearing thin.

You thought about not doing what Boba had asked of you but getting the imagery he had pushed into your head to stop playing had been proving to be impossible. You were sure that it would have crossed your mind anyway but hearing him verbalize all of it had made you needy before he even left. You huffed out what you were sure was the ten thousandth sigh of the hour and Fennec finally leaned forward to look at you.

“Alright, huffy, mind telling me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

You realized how unbelievable you sounded when you grumbled and crossed your arms over your chest. She quickly pulled you up, so you were sitting next to her with your legs tossed across her lap. You squeaked when she pulled you up, shocked at how strong she was.

“You’ve been positively pouting for weeks.”

“I’m fine.”

“All you do is sigh and squirm down there. I’ve never seen you so much as move more than once an hour when Boba is here. Are you uncomfortable with me?”

“What? No! Of course not.”

“Then what is it, sweetheart?”

“I just.. I’m just doing what he asked of me while he’s gone.”

“To be impatient?”

“No.. to.. think of certain things.”

Realization flashed across her face far too quickly for her not to have known before you spoke. She tucked your hair behind your ear and sighed.

“You poor thing. No wonder why you’re so uncomfortable. Why don’t you scurry into the bed and take care of that? I can’t believe you haven’t already.”

“I.. can’t.”

“Why? Do you not know how to?”

“Of course, I do! Maker, Fennec. I’m not a child.”

She laughed and smiled at you.

“Then what is the problem?”

“I’m.. not allowed to take care of it.”

“Is that what he said?”

“Yes. He said I can’t.. touch down there.”

“That you can’t take care of yourself?”

“Yes. Why are you even asking this?”

“Well, I mean technically there are still ways for you to feel some relief.”

You looked at her and crossed your arms.

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, I was told to take care of you. I’m to give you whatever you need, just like he would.”

She placed her hand on your thigh and you thought your chest was going to cave in. You could see that Fennec was beautiful, but the idea had never even passed your mind. She chuckled and tiled her head, looking at you.

“I know you’re his obedient little pet but there are always ways to still listen to him and do what you want.”

“He would be furious.”

“Would he? Or would he be impressed that you thought of a way to obey him and be happy?”

“I.. I don’t know.”

She hummed and sat back, looking out at everyone. You thought to yourself about what she was saying. He did want you resourceful but at the same time you had never even considered not fully and wholeheartedly listening to him.

“I don’t.. think it’s a good idea.”

“Whatever you choose. I think you can suffer for one more day anyway.”

“What?”

“Oh? I didn’t tell you? He will be back tomorrow.”

You looked at her and realized that she offered it knowing he would be back. You huffed and moved off her, trying to seem much madder than you were. In all honestly knowing he would be back soon made it even worse for you. Now not only were they memories running through your head, but they were your not so distant future.

The minute Boba returned he barked for everyone to leave. Fennec gave you a knowing smirk and sauntered out of the room, a bottle of blue alcohol in her hand. You stayed perfectly still, trying to act like you hadn’t been in agony for the last two weeks. He walked towards you and motioned for you to come to him. You scrambled across the floor, crawling not wanting to waste the time to stand up. Once you got to the edge of the stage you sat on your knees, your hands gently resting on your thighs.

“Mesh’la, you have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

You smiled up at him and he pulled his helmet off, setting it next to you. You inhaled sharply, surprised that he took his helmet off so quickly. You looked up at his rugged face and bit your bottom lip. You missed him somuch.

“I didn’t think it was possible to miss Tattooine so much, but then again I didn’t think anyone like you would be waiting for me to get back.”

“I missed you.”

He reached forward and laced his fingers through your hair, balling his hand tightly into a fist and pulling to tilt your head back. You gasped and his lips turned into a smirk.

“Did you do what I asked of you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Such a good girl for me.”

He rewarded you by leaning forward and hungrily kissing you. You parted your lips easily for him, letting him invade your mouth with his tongue. He broke away and you whimpered at the loss of contact, reaching out to grasp at his chest armor.

“Such a needy little thing. Go to our room and wait for me. I’ll be in soon.”

You nodded and immediately pulled yourself to your feet, heading into the back. There had been a time when you had your own room, but after a while you stopped leaving his room at night. You knew he had given you your own space to make sure that you were comfortable and didn’t feel trapped, but it also made you lonely. Like you had told Din, you wanted to be with him.

You sat on the bed and thought about how much things had changed. You had been desperate just to live at first, happy to do whatever he may want knowing he was the reason you weren’t dead in a ditch somewhere. You had expected him to be rude and uncaring. Although he was always in charge, he never made you feel like you didn’t matter as a person. All the horrible scenarios you had pushed out of your head as he made his offer had never come true.

“You seem lost in thought.”

You smiled up at Boba walking into the room. He stopped, dropping his bag by the wall and turned back to face you.

“Come here, mesh’la. Help me with my armor.”

You stood fluidly and walked to him, gently and carefully unhooking all the beskar armor he wore. He stood still, watching you, until all he had left was his helmet. You reached your hands out, gently resting it on the bottom, waiting for him to tell you if he wanted that off or not. Often times he kept it on which unnerved you a bit, but it was exhilarating to never know how he was feeling. The noises you could elicit from him told you how much he liked certain things and that in of itself was satisfying.

“Go ahead, pet. Let me look at you without the barrier.”

You lifted it off him and smiled when you saw him smiling down at you. He had been reserved at first, barely showing any emotion past lust. The longer you were around him the more he showed you his happiness and amusement. It was something that you alone were privy to experiencing. He took the helmet from you and set it on the closest surface, pulling you into his arms as soon as they were empty.

“How was your mission, sir?”

“Successful. Never mind that now though. Fennec tells me that my pet has been rather needy while I was gone.”

You felt your face heat up, so you looked down at his chest. He hooked your chin to make you look at him again and gave you a stern look.

“Don’t look away from me, pet. I’ve missed those beautiful eyes. In fact, you’re all I could think about at all. Glad Din isn’t much of a talker or I would have probably driven him nuts.”

You let out a small laugh as he started to walk you backwards until your knees hit the mattress. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours until he grabbed your hips and tossed you backwards, further on the bed. You squeaked in surprise making him chuckle deeply. He crawled up the bed until he was propped up over you, his waist slotted between your legs.

“This right here is where I belong.”

Your face started heating up again but there was absolutely no getting away from him. He stared down at you intently before moving down to kiss and bite at your neck. You let out a shuttering breath and tilted your head to the side which only spurred him on. When he moved to the base of your neck he bit down hard and you gasped loudly, arching your back slightly.

“You’re always so responsive for me, mesh’la. You have far too many clothes on though.”

He sat back and yanked you up into a sitting position and pulled your shirt off before you could even begin to help. He grabbed the front of your breast band and yanked, snapping it in half. You protested but he quickly pushed you back down and chuckled.

“I’ll buy you more, pet.”

He left little room to argue before he was yanking your pants down your legs. It always took your breath away when he was so aggressive with you, and by the look on his face he knew it. Sooner than seemed possible, you were entirely naked laying in front of him.

“How did an old man get so lucky to have someone as beautiful as you in his bed.”

“You aren’t old.”

He chuckled and crawled forward, spreading your legs and kissing the inside of your thighs.

“Older than you.”

“You’re the king. You could have anyone you want. You’ll trade me in for someone younger and more beautiful soon enough.”

He bit down on your thigh and you gasped loudly, clutching at the sheets below you.

“None of that talk. You are mine and you aren’t going anywhere. Understand?”

You nodded quickly so he smoothed over the bite mark with his tongue. You sighed as he continued moving up your legs until he reached the joint of your hip and stopped. You suppressed a moan and tried to stay as still as possible.

“Look at you, pet. Absolutely needy and wanting for me. Such a good girl doing exactly what I asked of you. How much did you think of me?”

“All the time.”

Your voice sounded whiney and you grimaced when he chuckled and roughly massaged your thighs.

“And you didn’t touch yourself, right?”

“No, sir. I did everything you asked of me.”

“But you wanted to?”

“Y-yes.”

“You’d rather do that than have me take care of it?”

“No! No, maker no.”

“Hmm. I’m not sure I believe you, pet. I think you should take care of it yourself while I watch.”

“W-what? I.. Why?”

He gripped your thighs tightly and you gasped again.

“Don’t question me, girl. Do as I tell you to. Show me how you would have taken care of it if I had let you.”

Your chest was heaving as you ran your shaky hand down your body until you found your clit. He kept your legs spread open and watched as you began to gently rub yourself. Your needy body responded quickly since it had been weeks since you had been touched by any hand.

“Look at me.”

His voice growled out and you immediately obeyed. You gasped at the intent look on his face and sped up slightly without consciously doing it. You felt your orgasm start to rush towards you, so much quicker than you were expecting. Your legs started tensing in his hands and right before you were about to hit your peak, he snatched your hand away. You gasped loudly and squirmed at the sensation suddenly stopping. He watched you squirm, but he made no move to touch you.

“Come here and undress me.”

You let out a shaky breath but moved towards him, your climax slipping away from you the more you focused on the task in front of you. You pulled all his clothes off of him with relative ease, counting in the fact that your hands were shaking the entire time. He said nothing as you pulled off his pants and his already hard cock sprang forward. You desperately wanted to wrap your hands around it but instead sat back on your knees waiting for him to tell you what he wanted.

“Lay back down.”

You started leaning backwards but he grabbed behind your knees and yanked, knocking you backwards quickly. He spread your legs again and moved so he was laying on his stomach, hooking your legs over his shoulders. Without warning, he leaned forward and licked through your soaking wet folds. You moaned loudly and squirmed. He latched his hands on your hips and held you down roughly as he covered your clit with his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it before starting to move directly against the already sensitive bud. When he removed one of his hands from your hip and slipped two of his fingers into your aching cunt you moaned loudly and gripped at the sheets, desperate to hold onto something. He hummed against you and you could feel your orgasm building again, almost painfully so. The closer you got the faster he seemed to move, and your breath quickened. Right as it was about to hit you, he moved away. You screamed out in frustration and you heard him chuckle deeply.

“I meant to ask you, mesh’la. Why didn’t you take Fennec up on her offer?”

“What!?”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, entire body shaking and tears pricking at your eyes. He looked completely calm with just the slightest smirk on his lips.

“Fennec. She asked you if you wanted her to take care of you while I was gone.”

“What? She told you that?”

“Of course, she did. Why did you turn her down? Technically she was right. I didn’t say no one else could touch you. Just told you that your fingers couldn’t.”

“I.. Wha-“

Saying you were frustrated was not even close to describing it. You shut your eyes and took a few calming breaths, desperately wanting to at least rub your legs together but he had moved back to gripping your thighs tightly, keeping your legs spread in front of him.

“I-I know that technically that wasn’t against what you said but.. I.. I didn’t think it was right to let anyone else touch me.”

“And what if I had given you permission?”

“I.. Uhm.. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Okay.”

He moved his mouth back down to your clit and you practically sobbed in relief. You fell back on the bed and moaned as he worked your overstimulated nub. He moved quickly and added in two fingers, pushing you towards the orgasm you desperately wanted. You tried to keep your body as still as possible, hoping that he wouldn’t figure out how close you were and pull away again. To your absolute agony, he stopped right before you could get your release. You sobbed out and laced your fingers through your hair roughly in frustration.

“What!? Boba, please!”

“Please what, pet?”

You sobbed again and covered your face, tears starting to fall from the corners of your eyes.

“Please. Please I need you.”

“How do you need me? Be clear, mesh’la.”

“P-please let me cum! Please I’ve waited so long for you to get back. I need you to make me cum pl-“

“Tell me what you need to me do, pet.”

“I-I just need you! Whatever you want. Please. Please, sir.”

“That doesn’t work for me, little one. I need you to let me know exactly what you want.”

“I-I.. use your mouth?”

“That didn’t sound like you were very sure.”

“Fuck! Use your mouth on my cunt, sir. Please. Please let me cum I need you.”

“Was that so hard?”

You grit your teeth and did everything you could not to scream in frustration. He chuckled again but does exactly what you asked of him. He moved down and sucked lightly on your clit while he worked his tongue against it. His fingers pumped in and out of you, curling upwards to hit the spot that drives you absolutely wild. You’re a moaning and squirming mess as your body raced towards the orgasm, he had been denying you. You screamed out, arching your back as you finally tip over that edge. He continued to work you as you screamed and moaned from his touch. Once you came down, he climbed back up you and kissed you.

“You have quite the dirty mouth when you’re frustrated.”

“I’m sorry.”

Your voice was breathless and calm as you lazily blinked up at him. He smirked and pressed himself forward, so his cock was up against your entrance.

“I’m not. I love hearing you beg for me. I think I’ll make you do it more often.”

You tried to protest but quickly silenced yourself as he pushed inside of you. You were still sensitive but had missed the feeling of him inside of you so much. He let out a groan once he was fully slotted inside of you, somehow always making you feel more full than the last time.

“Stars, princess, it’s like your body was made for mine.”

You nodded and he started moving lazily inside of you. He leaned forward and captured your mouth with his, kissing you as he slowly moved in and out of you. You were used to him roughly fucking you any time he was able to, but you decided right away that what he was doing was amazing. That continued on for what felt like ages and you moaned and sighed at everything he was making you feel.

“Tell me who you belong to, mesh’la.”

“You, Boba.”

“Anyone else?”

“No. Just you.”

“Who do you want to make you cum?”

“You. Stars, always you.”

He let out a satisfied growl and started moving quicker, pushing you closer to a second orgasm. You pulled his face back down to yours, kissing him as his body slammed against yours.

“That’s it, cyar'ika, I want to feel you cum on my cock.”

With three more thrusts, you were coming undone again. Boba moaned at the feeling of you tightening around him and with a few stuttering thrusts he came with you. He kissed you roughly as you came down and pressed his forehead against yours.

“Was that worth waiting?”

“Yes, stars yes.”

He slipped himself out of you and laid down on his back, pulling you close to him so you could rest your head on his shoulder. You traced your fingers across the scars he had on his chest and he hummed at the feeling.

“Did you mean it when you said you’d show me the galaxy?”

“Do I ever speak lies?”

“No.”

“Then that answers it for you.”

You nodded against him and nestled in closer. You felt sleep start to take you as he pulled the sheet across both of you. You had missed him terribly and finally felt the exhaustion of not sleeping well the entire time he was gone.

“Goodnight, mesh’la.”

“Goodnight, Boba.”

His arm tightened around you as sleep finally took you.

[mystiika]

re; adrian clarke

h i s t o r y  ( tw childhood emotional neglect )

   adrian can’t say he had a bad childhood, not really anyway. they lived in comfort & looked like the perfect family from the outside. but he always felt like a stranger in his own home, like he didn’t belong. & it was his family dynamic & childhood is what shaped almost his entire personality. his father died when he was young, & he was left with a single mother who loved him but wasn’t around enough for adrian to ever really feel it. he was a tv kid, he remembered watching & seeing all these people, wishing he could be like them. 

   she remarried pretty soon after & for a time, things were better. he had two parents again, who played with him & spent time with him. but it didn’t last long before his half-brother & sister came along & suddenly he was the outsider all over again. & that’s when his obsession really began. driven by a backdrop of emotional neglect, he saw all the people on tv being happy & laughing & he wanted to do whatever it took to become like them, to be inside the tv where everything was good. 

   growing up, people always wanted to be around him. to be friends with him, had crushes on him, people hang around him because he was instantly deemed "popular" & they wanted to improve their standing in the social hierarchy that is school. & he just accepted it because at the end of the day, its better than being alone. he was depressed all through his teens, not knowing the name for how he was feeling but feeling like his whole life has kind of just been boring. waiting for something, anything to change. its also why he gets so obsessive internally & grabs onto anything he thinks will make him happy even if nothing seems to last.

   he's consumed by the idea of becoming a celebrity because he thinks it'll fix everything. he puts on a cool face, as if he didn’t care about anything at all. but behind the scenes he took acting classes, dance classes ( even singing classes despite having a remarkably average voice ). how hard he works just for the chance to reach his dream was a secret he’d keep to himself as long as humanly possible.

   eventually, he secretly entered himself into a dance contest, even making it to the finals before being the first one cut. it started to shake his standings in school, & he couldn’t help but feel like all eyes were on him, & that everyone would slowly realise that he wasn’t anyone special. but someone who saw him compete hunted him down for a modeling contract. it wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but he grasped onto it all the same. after that he gets one job after another, slowly rising up & making a name for himself, but for what? despite the growing attention, he finds that it's not enough. but still moves on that path anyway because he doesn't know what else to do.

   & so adrian becomes rising star, skipping out on college & going full time into entertainment after high school graduation. he’s finally achieving his dream. but he almost resents the industry despite having worked so hard to get into it at all. it’s all fake. fake smiles, fake friends, fake everything. he’s finally one of those people smiling & laughing inside the tv. but he’s still not happy, it’s just better than being alone.

i n f l u e n c e s

  idk man sad boy vibes meets every celebrity plot you’ve ever seen. strong influence from one piece of media in particular ( if you know, you know ) but it’s got some problematic themes so imma leave the name out of it for now. he probably has some type of anxious attachment disorder too but are we really surprised

[cakebeam]

S1 was a good show of M*luca actually supporting each other in a way that wasn't enabling each other and for the life of me I don't understand why that disappeared in their romantic relationship. The scene in 1x08 with Michael fixing the sign and Maria opening up about her mom was lovely. Them supporting each other with the fortuneteller was sweet. They could have easily paralleled Kyliz and Max/Jenna as two people who value each other and know each other but aren't each other's epic romance but after s2 I can't buy Maria as someone who cares about either Michael or Alex. Alex's and Maria's conversation in 1x10 was so well done and Heather delivered her lines in a way that made it abundantly clear that Maria knew exactly what Michael meant to Alex, that him being hopeful was a huge deal and that Alex's feelings mattered to Maria. I am forever baffled how everything got so messed up after that.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here nonnie, I didn't think any bit of Miluca, season 1 or season 2, was about them supporting each other or not enabling each other. I mean maybe from Michael's side since he's only ever been her bitch and constantly did everything for her but certainly not from Maria. Maria would constantly enable Michael's VERY apparent alcoholism by letting him take free alcohol or only have them hang out at her bar to drink all the time. She's never supported him once, that fortune teller scene you brought up nonnie in 1x09 was about her trying to get help for her mom and if Michael needed to be the guinea pig for that SO BE IT. He only volunteered to do it to help her, it was never about supporting him. The scene in 1x08 where Michael fixes her sign was not lovely to me, it was Maria taking back the kind gestures she gave him in getting free drinks at the bar (he's HOMELESS and has NO MONEY) and making him fix the sign for free and being rude about it. She only opened up about her mom because Maria will talk about her mom to literally anyone, she has nothing else going on in her life and it kind of comes across like she feels like a victim for having to be Mimi's carer and won't stop talking about it.

Here's the thing, I don't WANT anymore ex's to friends on this show. It's not normal (adults don't do this, teenagers do) and gives a giant yuck feeling. The Kyle/Liz dynamic is already enough as it is, and I hate the Max/Jenna/Liz friendship, it's too weird and I'm glad we're not seeing Jenna in season 3. Her story is done anyway. If RNM tries it with Miluca being besties as well, I'm not having it. It's already bad enough the door hasn't been closed yet for them and that Michael is sexually attracted to her and maybe always will be. I hate it.

Honestly forget the loss of the Maria/Michael friendship we could have potentially had if Miluca never came to be, it's the Alex/Maria friendship that was truly the loss that is forever destroyed. Alex had a confidant to share his vulnerability with (something that is not easy for the guy) and then Carina wrote in Miluca and made it so Alex's trust in Maria with sharing his feelings for Michael was just something to be stomped on and not be taking seriously. It's disturbing and sad to know what's coming when you watch those Alex and Maria scenes in season 1 with him going to see her needing a friend. It's just f*cked up.

[otometearoom]

I Finished Tsumugu Logic!! Overview/Rant

It took me a month, but I finished the last chapter of the game and got the true ending. I will keep playing to get all of the other bad ends, etc. 

I have so so many feels about this game, y’all. I will be highlighting a few chapters in the game, so if you haven’t finished it. Beware of spoilers!!

[MANY SPOILERS/ENDINGS BELOW]

To recount my feelings throughout the game for each character: 

1. Tsumugu is a cutie pie. I actually really related to him, because I’m also at that point in my life where I have to decide what exactly I want to do for the rest of my life. I just finished university, but I’m still unsure about my career ahahah. So, seeing Tsumugu struggle to figure his life out was refreshing. 

2. “Sosei” is so hot. I laid eyes on him and thought, uh-oh, he’s my new addiction ahahah. I would buy his merchandise if there was any. The dude loves sweets (how cute is that) and he has such a good head for mysteries (my dream man). Plus, he’s a tsundere but really cares about Tsumugu, often giving hints and advice to him. He’s a very trustworthy older brother/senpai. I could gush over how much I love Sosei for ages. His drunken habits -> those are to die for. He becomes so lewd and straightforward. I love it. 

“Koyo”, on the other hand, I didn’t like him as much as Sosei. Which is weird, cause I love ikemen. Maybe I’m just drawn more into the withdrawn, mysterious guys?? I do like the concept of twin brothers though. I have a bit of a dirty mind so when the twins said they shared everything, even their gf, I was like ohohoho, 3p? 

I absolutely enjoyed the twins together though. I love seeing them pretend to be the other. I wish they had more of an appearance lol. I could even say that Sosei and Koyo are a scale higher than Tsumugu for me. I wish the twins were the main protagonists ahahah. No offense Tsumugu. 

I’ll just summarize my first impressions for others real quick: 

3. Kotoko - I thought she was cute, but I never really liked her and couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly why. This feeling will come into play later on. So at first, I was like meh, she’s okay, I guess. But, as I learned more about her, I really didn’t like her character that much. I mean, I wouldn’t say I hated her but I didn’t find her as a good fit for Tsumugu. 

- When she told Tsumugu to be a salesman or whatever. I was like, do you even know Tsumugu? Lmao. I didn’t know if it was just me empathizing with Tsumugu cuz I’ve often been told of what I should be, but no one asks what I want to be. 

- When she didn’t want to help Mirei, I thought how odd, for someone who tries to befriend everyone, she’s not doing so well as a heroine. I mean, it was realistic, at least. But, I think the chapter where she admits that she tries really hard to fit in so others will like her was starting to draw some red flags for me. It made me wonder how much of her was ‘real’. Idk if I’m making any sense though.

- When she swung the knife at Tsumugu, I didn’t hate her as much as I did when she swung the knife at Sosei (who protected Tsumugu) and killed him. I was furious then. 

4. Sally - I admit I was really turned off by the girly lolita style. Mainly because I’m more tomboyish irl. But, she had a good sense of justice so I actually liked her. It did come as a shock to me though that she was the “gorilla” girl that was forced to kiss Nozaki. Tbh, I was kinda sad she died at the end. Like, I know she killed Hikone, but I could understand her motive better than I could understand Kotoko’s motive. Maybe cuz I have an older brother and can’t see myself being a brocon? ahahah. 

5. Toma - In terms of hotness, he comes 2nd right after Sosei. He’s a really good friend. And I absolutely adore how he scares ppl with his glare lol. i love yankees ahaha. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. He’s a very solid character.

6. Daimon - My girl crush. High key curious who she’s arranged to marry because her fiance seems boring. Who takes an hour to choose a handkerchief? Anyways, Im sad that Daimon and Sosei never got to meet because I’m low key shipping them. Idk if they’d click well romantically because they’re so similar, but I would’ve loved for some sort of interaction. They’d make for an epic couple, solving mysteries. I really wanna write a fic for them. 

7. Tsukasa Tsukasa - I didn’t like him because of the cheating and blaming on my poor Toma, but after that, he was okay. Plus, he helped write the Tsumugu’s love letter to Kotoko. Which I find is funny, because Kotoko copied Tsukasa’s writing, thinking it was Tsumugu’s. Ahahah. The lesson here, folks, is that don’t use your own handwriting in love letters, you never know if you’re crush will copy said handwriting into your own suicide letter. 

8. Mirei - that girl can sing. I kinda cried after hearing it cuz I was going through something at the time and it really encouraged me. 

9. Landlady & Hikkimori - Both names that I can’t remember off the top of my head. I think both people are fun. The landlady is super supportive. And the hikkimori refusing to talk with Sosei made for a fun dynamic. I genuinely enjoyed seeing Sosei offended. Nice way to see emotions on my fave character. 

10. Other characters (Rindo, Happy, Travel Club Members) - I genuinely did not care enough about ahahah. I think I even enjoyed seeing some of them murdered, tbh. They were really horrible people in different ways. 

The Black club members headed under Fumi. Like what? How do you control victims to be assailants and live with yourself to be a future kindergarten teacher? Like what? I couldn’t live with myself if I was her. Plus, her disproportionately large boobs were really weirding me out. I can’t believe Yu died all because Fumi wanted to f*ck him. It’s like one day you’re living your best life and someone thinks, ah, I wanna ruin this person. 

Don’t even get me started with Nozaki. That dude is a piece of trash. Human garbage. He knows how it feels to be a victim and yet thinks it’s his right to assault women. I wanted to slap that guy so hard. So many times. He was like the boy who cried wolf. He kept pretending to be dead and eventually died in the hands of Kotoko. XD I wonder what his last thoughts were. To have died in the hands of someone he trusted. 

Hikone was another nutcase. From what I understood, he just saw everyone else as characters in his book. Sure, he didn’t physically harm anyone, but doing nothing and observing is just as much of a crime as committing it. 

Shun. I never really like cutesy guys. But when he turned out to be an ex-pimp plus lover of Fumi, he fell off the likeable scale. 

Yoshimoto being an uncontrollable drunk murderer was the only thing needed to complete the psycho Travel Club members. Tbh, I thought he was the one behind the killings at first ahaha. 

Suguha. I thought she was a tough chick. It was cool to know that she had another motive to get closer to Fumi. Because I thought it was weird how she took her cellphone at the BBQ restaurant. It’s nice to know that SEEC still foreshadows like that. 

[jcmorrigan]

001 - Tales of Zestiria?

Favorite character: It's a tough call between Maltran and Symonne, and Lunarre is trailing right behind both. I tend to call them the "Heldalf Squad," but make no mistake, Heldalf himself isn't part of it. I just like his swagalicious minions. The dry and sarcastic political manipulator, the sadistic and wordy theater nerd, and the flamboyant cannibal who hates everything. Yes. LOVE. But I have to give a shout to my boy Dezel on the hero side! Angsty/stoic characters are very hit-or-miss with me, but Dezel is the flavor I love - obvious soft spots and quirks, and slowly he builds from being antisocial to showing how big his heart is. When he stops the woman from leaping off the Guinevere tower...that's one of my favorite scenes in the entire game, because you can see when the switch flips, when he realizes that he CANNOT stay aloof any longer when there's a stranger's life on the line. He's still a grump about it but a compassionate grump.

Least Favorite character: Heldalf. His backstory is really clever, and I like the curse on him. But he himself just feels like Ganondorf but more boring. I kinda hate that he's so vanilla when his three lieutenants are in my arsenal of pet villains from the vastness of fiction. Also shout-out to Chancellor BART in the opening Ladylake act, because I distinctly remember liveblogging this to a friend, and I played Zestiria *after* Berseria (I'd loved Berseria and that's why I eventually sought out Zestiria) so here I am just comparing up the corrupt church in Ladylake to the Abbey's suave rogues gallery like "Yeah no BART has nothing on Lady Teresa Linares." Thankfully BART was never seen again.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): DezeRose, SorMik, Symonne x Coco Atarashi (The World Ends With You), Alisha Diphda x Sergei Strelka, and...I swear you have to bear with me here...Zaveid x Anna (Frozen). I also kinda wanna note a couple ships I'm on the fence about for my other favies - those being Maltran x Ebony Maw (Marvel Cinematic Universe or Marvel Ultimate Alliance) and Lunarre x Arkham (Devil May Cry).

Character I find most attractive: Dezel. It is a scientific fact that guys with pointy teeth are just hotter.

Character I would marry: Maybe Dezel, maybe Sergei. I wouldn't want to take them from those I see as their wifeys, but at the same time, they are husband goals, both of them.

Character I would be best friends with: Catch me clinging to Maltran's train and she drags me along annoyedly as I yell "PLEEEEAAASE LET ME HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS" and Lunarre is losing it laughing while Symonne rolls her eyes

a random thought: So I toyed around with basically every accessory I picked up, and I decided to put the sideburns on Rose because fuck gender roles. Well then I just got used to seeing her with facial hair in every cutscene where her 3D model was used, and now I headcanon that she does get it. Maybe nonclassical CAH intersex? Like, I don't necessarily see her as trans (but I support everyone who hc's her as such) but moreso "a cis woman, but I grow this stupid damn facial hair like a dude and I don't get why." And this is why you shouldn't let me play with customizable accessories on RPG characters because I can and will abuse my privilege to headcanon.

An unpopular opinion: That this is actually a very good game. Listen, I think I get it - the initial marketing promised something far different. And that's disappointing. But coming back to it several years after its release, after the release of its PREQUEL, when I never had that hype building up...it actually exceeded my expectations. I held off from it for a while because I thought Eizen's fate would make me too sad, but that didn't end up the case at all. I actually had just come off playing a more recently-released triple-A game that was hyped up for years, and I completed it to my satisfaction in 20 hours. $80 for 20 hours. Zestiria gave me my money's worth in comparison; it took me about 60, and I loved just how MUCH story it had to offer me. I honestly like Rose better than Alisha anyway (Rose was one of the biggest aspects that interested me about playing it in the first place). I've also seen complaints that the characters weren't well-developed enough? Which I just kinda take to mean "They didn't angst enough." Listen. There are PLENTY of games out there if you want angst and sad stories. I don't really like sad stories in my games. I like adventures where the party is a goofy foundfam that jokes around with each other and helps each other work through shitty situations, and that's EXACTLY what I got. (And Berseria really worked on me too because it kinda started at the bottom of the angst barrel, then worked its way up through "The edgy and tortured protag has gained a party of idiots and oh noooooo she's learning friendship and happiness.") Dezel's death is one of the few game deaths that just made me SATISFIED to watch instead of depressed because of the closure he got and the themes tied into his final moments and sacrifice. I loved going on this adventure, I loved the idiots who I went on it with, and I loved seeing what Glenwood had to offer me in world design the further I explored.

my canon OTP: There's not much for canon romance in this game, come to think of it. Just subtext and some flirting. So I'm blanking on if there actually were any canon couples at all.

Non-canon OTP: DezeRose! Which maybe can be considered almost-canon based on the amount of subtext, but still. It's adorable. (And it's the exact same dynamic as EiRoku except M/F and a thousand years later. I need these four to double date...the dual-wielding goofs with their edgy, grumpy Reapers...)

most badass character: Rose! Not only able to wield the Shepherd's Armatization powers, but also to be a dang good assassin on her own, able to hold her own against Heldalf before she even had her eyes opened to seraphim! Though a shout-out goes to Edna because her armatization was my favorite to play with. There's something just satisfying about bashing the enemy in front of you with a pair of GIANT FISTS

pairing I am not a fan of: RoseAli. To be honest, it was at one point something I kinda enjoyed as a third-tier ship for Rose (Dezel first, then Lailah in second). But then...Alisha's Story. I didn't actually purchase it, thank goodness, just watched it on YouTube, and it was the most grating addition that anyone could've made to this game. First of all, I can sum up the issues with Alisha's Story by reminding everyone that it canonized a secret entrance to Camlann that was much easier to get to and wasn't protected by Muse's sacrifice. But the real thing that hurt to watch was how far down they had to knock Rose and Alisha's friendship to get them to rebuild from scratch. Rose claiming she was never Alisha's friend because she's grieving Sorey? The two of them getting into a PHYSICAL FISTFIGHT over it? Nope nope nope. That's not my Rose. Even less my Rose is that whole scene where she...you know...pounces on Alisha to dress her in the silly noblewoman's dress, and it's framed like...let's just say it's really uncomfortable to watch if you don't know the punchline is just a silly outfit. Even though Alisha's Story isn't canon in my head, it still really killed any buzz I had for RoseAli. I will also say I'm not a big fan of Eizavie - first of all, EiRoku or bust in this house, and second, I have a little bit of a hard time seeing Zaveid as mlm due to how much he goes on and on about The Ladies(TM). (Though I could see Eizen as having a tiny crush on him, though. Just like "Oh no he's hot but he's connected to Aifread's disappearance help")

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Mostly just in Alisha's Story. I was mad about the aforementioned Rose stuff, but also...like...they undid Lunarre's original cathartic death, they did so to team him back up with Symonne and then do a whole fakeout that they had Maltran with them too, but Maltran is just an illusion and immediately after this, Lunarre and Symonne just decide "Yeah, we're not gonna work together anymore, have a nice life." Why does Maltran need to stay dead if LUNARRE somehow survived EXPLODING? And just...look to next question for more clarification:

favourite friendship: I just want to imagine that Maltran, Lunarre, and Symonne were weird evil friends. The kind who'd take artistic selfies and caption them "Murder and mayhem with my besties!". Maybe they even had a sibling dynamic. They were all pretty dang jaded, so I like to think they sat around sometimes talking about the things in this world that did them wrong. The reasons they were drawn to Heldalf. Heldalf himself wouldn't have cared, he would've kicked them around like disposable tools, but the three of them were too entrenched in his dogma to see it. Maybe if they met up again after he was off the board...then they'd sing a different tune. Realize they're all three better than this, and now they're gonna do things THEIR way, because remember when they made a three-point attack on Glenwood and Sorey was barely able to keep up with them wrecking Lastonbell AND Pendrago AND Glaivend? Remember when Lunarre and Symonne had each other's backs the night Dezel died? Now they can do what they want on their terms! And I just - I have many MANY feelings about these three.

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: Okay silly self-insert time but the thing is, Archibald Snatcher (The Boxtrolls) and Roman Torchwick (RWBY) are my two favorite parental f/o's (and also my OTP to end all OTPs), and I have this thing about how they'd be PERFECT crime dads to Symonne in particular because she's like a little, more theatrical Neopolitan. So there's a universe in my head where Symonne is basically already my little sister, and I look out for her - well, okay, she's a seraph with powerful Artes and I am a powerless mortal so really she looks out for me because "I suppose SOMEONE has to make sure you don't die" and I am grateful to her for it.

[byakuyasdarling]

Please feel free to share your happiness with us!! I can assure you that it doesn't annoy anyone!! To be honest, it makes me really happy to see that you are having fun! I genuinely love hearing about your selfship, the dynamic is truly wonderfull! Besides, I know how nice it feels to talk freely about someone or something you love,, So please don't think you are annoying anybody by doing what you like!! ♡♡♡ I wish you the best, you are so awesome and valid!! ^_^💕

You are literally the sweetest oh my gosh 💙💙 right back at you!! I always enjoy reading all your posts about your ship, I am just really bad at communicating how much it makes me happy to see! Sdididjdjeej You’re so nice it genuinely warms my heart 💙💙 you’re incredible.

Anyway, I’m gonna slide my incoherent happy ramblings here ^///^

———————————————————————

As a side note: I wrote this yesterday but THEN I FELL ASLEEP WHILE WRITING IT,,, which is a pretty good indicator I was happy while writing it ^o^

Literally my whole day in class today was basically just thinking about him, which is pretty uncommon since I normally focus a lot on my work, but today my head was ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Sjskrfhhtr precious <<<3333 (keep it composed, Freya, keep it composed)

Anyway, so naturally I have a few things to say about my bastard man.

Admittedly I’ve been thinking about the fact he’s fluent in French for a solid 24 hours now and I have tried to devise some pet names or phrases he generally says to S/I. I either published it in a post, or in one of my drafts that he does occasionally drop a few sentences in French to S/I if he’s tired enough to just revert his mother’s first language (explained in another post).

That’s a pretty rare occurrence, however, I do think he’d also say a few things to her in French that are a bit more touchy-feely. He’s more comfortable to be that way as she can’t understand much of what he’s saying, while also clearly expressing love for her.

Perhaps something like:

“Prenez mieux soin de vous, ma chérie.” -> (very roughly: “Take better care of yourself, my dear.”)

“Tu es belle, ma chérie.” -> “You’re/ You look beautiful, my darling.”

“Tu es si belle, chérie, si douce.” -> “You are so beautiful, so delicate/ sweet” I like to think he says this one after he kisses her <<33 sdjdosjeje n e way

Outside of those being rather rough and basic: I was thinking about nicknames. He sticks very closely to the classics. He enjoys the sense of intimacy he has calling her by a pet name, though.

His favourite is definitely “darling” / “my darling”. He uses that one a l o t. “Dear” and “love” also give off very much the same vibe. He does use “sweetheart” but not nearly as much as the others. Same goes for “ma belle” (my beautiful — but sometimes translation seem to say “my pretty girl”, depends who you ask) and “ma chérie” (close to “my darling”), he uses them a lot less compared to the others.

He???? Calling me pretty??? >///< <<333 I would like that, ahahaha. Again I have gone very stupid with love sudidjjdkrjr

A few smaller side things that have definitely been living rent-free in my thoughts to end my little ramble off:

He tends to correct her posture a lot when he walks past her or is sitting with her

S/I tried to show him a few shows she watched as a kid (we’re talking about Pokémon everyone lmao), and he just r e f u s e s to watch it. He’ll end up just reading a book next to her while she tears up a little at all the inspirational moments (and obviously sad ones — don’t even mention Bye Bye Butterfree to me, I WILL CRY). If she is tearing up though, he’ll squeeze her hand a little to try and offer his comfort.

He warms her hands when they’re cold >///< (hesjsidj hand kisses >///<,, just kidding, just kidding... unless?)

Thank you so much, Octo!! You are so amazing and kind <<<333 have a wonderful day!!

[searchingforbucky]

FIC REC (Part 13) :)

Okay! So, this one has been requested at least 13 times lol, I hear you guys, and its finally here! I now present the Single Dad!/Single Mom! AU. I hope you guys love these fics as much as I do! 

Astrophile by @all1e23

Surprise surprise, there was absolutely no way this wasn’t going to be on the list. There is not a single fic that I have been invested more than this one. Like don’t get me wrong, I have favorites, but I am literally invested in this family. This a story about the sweetest (also firefighter? yes) Bucky (December) and his baby girl Orion and a newcomer “Beck”, cue the road to the purest relationship I’ve ever seen, with love that lasts a lifetime, and a universe that is so expertly crafted.. I read this fic at least once a month, and wait on baited breath for the “Astrophile files”. If you haven’t read this, I personally guarantee that you will love it. I know I cant imagine anyone who wouldn’t. My heart was in a constant state of mush during the whole thing.

Ready of Not by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan

One of my favorite types of stories are the ones where its like a modern AU with Bucky coming back from war, and this is the story that started that love for me. Bucky is out of war, missing an arm, but gaining the cutest therapy dog. Who loves dogs? The readers baby girl. This was just so phenomenally cute, and also like, raw in a way. You see the traumatic effects the war had on bucky so its really realistic, but its also beautifully melded with the sweet moments between Bucky and Gracie, and the reader and Bucky. It may be lame f me to call it “deep” but I really do feel that way, it was a fantastic read. Also, check out her story Bittersweet Symphony, which is another fantastic and honestly kinda sad, albeit unfinished story. 

Sweetest love @propertyofpoeandbucky

Do you want to know Keira? Jesus, this is it. This is a story about a single mom reader, starting a relationship with Bucky, deciding to introduce him to her daughter, and from that we just see the purest real Laois and ship for me. It is so absolutely adorable to see how lovely Bucky is with this baby girl. The title is absolutely encompassing of the fact that it really is just such a sweet pure love between these two people. This family deserves all of the love it can’t get, because my heart absolutely just melted for them. Also check out her stories Bed and bath & From left field which are also so cute. 

The lucky one by @avengerofyourheart

Alright, so Anika Has a fantastic gift for being able to take canon story lines, and interweave these AUS inside of them and oh man did it create a wonderful story. Like I genuinely could believe this is what happened. Bucky is on the run, and single mom reader needs some help on the farm. What can go wrong? This story was just so investing, I feel like I’m still invested in it like I wanna know everything that happened to them. It was such a good story, and that sounds so basic but I really mean it. They were twists and turns and I read it all in one go, and then I just had to go back and read it again because I felt like  I needed to take it in again because it was just so good. Also check out her other incredibly cute story Of snowstorms and men

Bookmark my heart by @moonbeambucky

OK, so I’m not gonna spoil anything, but those of you who know this or will read this will understand why am a little iffy about putting this on this specific list, but also it’s really good so I decided to put it on just because it’s a really good story lol. There are so many feelings that come with this, the reader works at a library and Bucky is there with a little girl and he catches the readers I, and I can’t blame her boy is fine as heck. There are some definite plot twists that come with this, but it is so cute, and Bucky is so baby, and their relationship is so adorable. I need me a bucky. 

Sweet as can be by @yallneedtrek

What’s one trope you guys know I love? Detective Bucky, and what can make it better other than Dad Bucky! Oh my God, this one was literally so cute. Bucky is just a single dad, who has a lot on his mind. He loves his daughter so much, but he doesn’t have the best memory. He needs help with his daughter’s birthday planning that’s coming up within the next day or two, and who better to help other than Baker reader. This couple is absolutely adorable, I think really just the dynamic between all of the characters, like just the love you can see between Bucky and his daughter, and just a kind of mutual pining between the reader and Bucky really just is recipe for a wonderful story. They really are sweet as can be lol

Because I met you by @captain-ariel-barnes

this one is a single!mom reader, and holy hell its cute. Okay so Bucky meets the readers daughter who has a prosthetic arm, amazing concept right? And its just about as cute as you would think it would be. Its such pure interactions between these three, and it really just made my heart absolutely melt. Like, and im not gonna spoil it but holy hell the ending really made me cry, everyone is just way too pure. 

The art teacher by @irndad

God this one is soso cute. 1) its written so well, like poetry the way he describes the reader, its so lovely, and 2) the whole forbidden lovers aspect of dad x teacher thing is so good haha, I love those kinda things. This is short, but so sweet, and the line “the two loves of his life” oof, my heart

Bewitched by @buckyofthemyscira

oh man, OK, so this one is another Halloween time related story, and it’s so cute. It’s a single dad Bucky story where he takes his baby girl out on Halloween, and absolute utter adorability ensues.  He’s dressed up as Indiana Jones, his baby is Winnie the Pooh, I was dressed up as a mess of heart mush and tears because oh my god it was so cute.  Bucky really is just the best father, he’s so sweet and caring and this family made me just want to give them all a group hug.  

Stranger danger by @highkey-holland

Okay so with this one its another sort of “Bucky finds the readers lost kid” story and ohhh man its cute. I always wondered like if the avengers would always get a lot of kids coming to them, and I think this answered my question, she didn’t talk to him until she knew who he was, but I feel like they just give off a safe vibe. The interactions between Bucky and the readers daughter is so pure, no one can convince me that Bucky wouldn’t be the best with kids, he’s so patient and sweet and :)) my heart 

Groceries by @ballyhoobarnes

Hell yeah, now this one is cute as heck. Bucky has a little boy, and oh man is he just the suavest little wing man. This little boy is just about the cutest thing, he’s just throwing out those date invites haha, and the shyness between the two is so cute. The reader is his sons teacher, so you have some of that trope (which I love) all in all its just really cute, shorter, but so sweet. 

Drabble by @bbbarneswrites

Okay I LOVE this one, something about Bucky just adopting an abandoned baby no questions asked makes my heart just want to explode. And seeing the way the avengers like all come together to help raise this girl, is like peak writing to me haha. And then we have mutual pining for his kinder teacher? Soft soft soft, I’m in love. Its just really so incredibly cute!

Lost and Found by @mybearyarmy

Oh man, okay, so this one is Single Dad!Bucky AND Single Mom!Bucky. Its a super cute story of the two of them coming together with their daughters after both losing their SOs (and their daughters at the zoo place haha) its really just a super, super fluffy story. I love the idea of their two girls being friends, and I love that their relationship after their past partners weren’t rushed. There are also some twists in there that I was surprised by haha, you never really can tell who is what in New York .

Life is Gourd by @redhairedfeistynerd

This one is super cute, it’s the start of a series I think, or at least a compilation of one shots. It’s about Bucky and his two baby girls coming together for some family time around Halloween, and meeting the reader, and it’s really cute. not gonna lie, I felt really bad for Becky because it must be so hard for him with two girls, and piper with a little bit of a butt haha. I’m really excited to see where this one goes. Hopefully the reader can help out with those handfuls. 

Best Ever by @suz-123

OK, so this is one of the two on here that aren’t single parent stories, but they were just too good not to include. Alright, let’s talk about something that absolutely melted my heart. that is, Bucky being so excited about his baby’s birthday. Oh my God, I about died I think one of the things I loved a lot about this one was the fact that it was just so in character for everybody mentioned, and the whole family feel it gave for the avengers and what not,was just so cute. I love the domesticity.  

Coming home by @hootyhoobuckaroo

OK so this is the second one that’s not really a single dad Bucky story. But I’m including it anyway because it’s really good, OK so this one is just like fantastic in terms of story writing, you really feel like you’re right there, right in the action, experiencing everything as they’re experiencing it themselves. It’s just really good, and the protective part of Bucky as a dad is absolutely wonderful to see.

Baby blues by @papi-chulo-bucky

Eleven months after a one night stand, Bucky is faced with raising his daughter and things are getting tough. That is, until he meets you, his extremely introverted neighbor. OHHH the neighbor AU, I love it, this one was so detailed and wonderful and just really well written and so cute. I highly recommend.

I hope you guys like these! :)

[ellstersmash]

Three: Fifteen

Fandom: Dragon Age

Pairing: Solas x f!Lavellan (Modern!AU)

Rating: overall E for Explicit | this chapter T for Teen

|Previous Chapter| |Next Chapter| |Read on AO3|

--

    [  Results were inconclusive. Again. Any last-minute suggestions?  ]

Athi reads the message from Solas, then reads it again. Is ready to send back [???] but her phone buzzes again before she has the chance.

    [  Apologies. That was not intended for you.   ]

She smirks—

no shit

—deletes her question, taps out a response.

    [  :* i miss u too   ]

    [  oop sry. wrong #   ]

    [  Ha Ha.   ]

    [  sry bout ur results :(   ]

    [  Thank you. What are you doing today?  ]

“That Solas?” Sera says, not bothering to look up from her unbroken line of yellow glitter glue. “Tell him to suck it.”

    [  arts n crafts   ]

Athi snaps a quick picture of the mess they’ve made in their living room and sends it to him.

    [  sera says suck it   ]

    [  Of course she does.  ]

“He says hi.”

Sera gags dramatically. “Thought you wanted to help with all this, not flirt with your boyfriend.”

A snotty retort itches behind Athi’s teeth but she stifles it. Rolls her eyes instead and tosses her phone aside, the device bouncing once to rest face-down on the sofa cushion. She picks up a thick black marker with pungent permanent ink, and gets back to work filling in the block letters Sera lined earlier.

Her boyfriend. Gods, but that sounds strange. Childish. Like they go on dates behind the primary school, or pretend not to be having sex in the room down the hall from someone's parents’. And yet she finds herself giddy at the thought. To be fair, it’s all she has for the moment. The thought. He's off on some adventure, and she's stuck here. Again. They'd only had that one perfect day, breakfast and window shopping and holding hands like real life lovers under trees full of dry rainbow leaves fluttering their applause. And then he took a phone call and went home to pack and left first thing in the morning.

She wonders just how often this happens.

How important could it be? Not like a bunch of ancient artifacts are going to up and wander off if he can’t go poke at them right away. A mental note to ask him later, and she moves this poster to the pile of finished ones and exchanges it for another that says “YOUR VILLAGE —> OUR CITY.” Cute, though maybe a smidge too reliant on humans knowing their history.

“Sure you don’t want to come?” Sera asks.

“That’s not—” Athi sighs. “I told you, I have work.”

“Yeah, but isn’t this more important?”

“I don’t know. Do you want rent paid?”

Sera quiets, kicking her legs back and forth as she works. Her glue bottle sputters, spits shimmer all over. A frustrated grunt and she tosses it aside, rolls onto her back.

“I’m just saying you should care is all. ‘S not going to get any better if nobody makes noise, and nobody’s making it for us.”

“Us?" Athi scoffs. "When we met, you said—and I quote—‘So glad you’re not one of those elfy elves.’”

“Yeah, well, therapy’s all right. Besides, it’s not for elves, or not just. It’s for whoever gets stepped on. That means us.”

“I didn’t know you were in therapy.” 

“Maybe I don’t tell you everything," Sera mutters. “Thought of that?”

Athi caps her marker and lays it down. It’s just a feeling, but it's nagging. Persistent. Like and yet unlike the one she still gets when her papae calls her by her full name. Isalathena Sulahnera Lavellan, come here this instant, and it’s heavy on her chest, sitting right on top of her breastbone. Guilty, but she's not.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. Throws it out there before the feeling gets stale and she decides it's something she can live with.

“Nothing.”

“Right, ok, except for it’s not, so come on. Let's get it out and over with.”

Sera sits up, blonde hair sticking out in a couple new directions. “What’s your problem?”

“You! You’ve been acting weird all week, Ser. Haven’t come in for lunch or been home at night, responded to texts—”

“If you think I want to be in the next room while you and—”

“Oh, so you have a problem with Solas? That was one—”

“No!” Sera groans in frustration. “I mean, yeah, he is kind of old, and talks about old stuff a lot, and he’s all”—she straightens her spine into an uncomfortable posture, then slouches again—“but I like him well enough.”

"Then what?"

Sera stares at her hands for a while. Then out the window. Then at the wall. Then back at her hands. Athi’s patience is thin on a good day, and it takes a lot of willpower to keep quiet as Sera opens her mouth and closes it again, false start after false start.

Finally, Sera blurts out: “I want to ask Dagna to move in.”

Athi has no idea what she was expecting, but not that. Searching for some way to relate it to her own behavior, to justify her feeling or shove it aside, she takes so long to form a response that Sera begins to fidget.

“You what?” she asks at last, thoroughly stumped.

“I want to ask Dagna—”

“Yeah, I…” Athi tries to catch up, shuffles through the past month as best as she can in the pause between. “Here?”

Sera squints at her like she's stupid, but that's fair. It was a stupid thing to say. 

“No, my mother's. Yes here!” 

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize you two were dating again. What’s it been, a year since you broke up?” 

“Yeah. You were out at your friend’s place. Better you missed the makeup sex, though, yeah? More room for fun.” 

At first Sera’s cheeky grin has Athi smiling too. It’s a relief to talk about someone else’s shit instead of her own, but then Sera glances toward the couch and—

Oh.

Oh gods, she wouldn’t have . . . would she?

Athi gets up for a glass of water, makes it two at Sera’s request. Sits cross-legged on the coffee table when she comes back. Just to be safe.

“Isn’t it a bit fast?” she asks.

“Maybe. Doesn’t feel fast, though. If you add 'em all up it's been like, a few years or something, so it sort of works out to normal. If you think about it.”

“I guess.”

Sera empties her glass in one go. “Her lease is up next month,” she says.

Athi nods. “Right. So soon, then. Um… and if it doesn’t work out?” She leaves out the again, but it’s implied.

“But that’s why I should do it! See, I keep losing her because I’m not in. She was serious about us, but I kept messing around. Don’t even know why, really.” She looks on the edge of losing her momentum, halfway to introspection, then snaps back into the room. “But therapy! So this time, like Wicked Grace, right? I’m all in and she’ll see I mean it. And then it’ll work out.”

Her logic isn’t quite flawed but it’s far from perfect. Still, friends don't tell friends to be afraid. Especially when those friends have clearly put a lot of thought into their dynamic-altering life-changing decisions. So Athi drops the questions.

“Wow,” she says instead. “I didn’t know you felt that way about her.”

Sera shifts into soft focus and smiles, a faraway look in her eyes. “Me either.”

She seems so certain. Satisfied, and happy. Really, truly happy. And it’s kind of fucking beautiful.

Feeling overcome for no good reason, Athi goes back to her task. Long thick careful black lines, then short ones. She marks a pattern with them to make it less work and more play. Not that anyone will see unless they’re trying. And as she makes the spaces solid, a thought occurs to her.

“So,” she says, bright. Like it’s no big deal. “Do you want me to move out?”

“What? No! Course not. Why would you say that?”

There’s no time to answer. After so much silence, Sera bubbles over with unused conversation. 

“I mean, do you want to move out? You’re not moving in with Solas are you? Gross. Definitely too fast for that one. Bet he wants to get married first, in a chantry and everything. Is he Andrastian, do you know? Where is he, anyway? He travels a lot for work, right? Must be nice. Wonder if his job pays for it. Is he gone now?”

Too many questions, so Athi answers the last one.

“Yeah. Flies in late tonight. He’s picking me up after work.”

Sera snorts. “What, picking you up? So you wouldn’t get up to take him in, huh? Good girl. Stay strong. Trust me, you drive him once and you're in for forever.”

“No, he didn’t even ask. Figured he’d take a cab or something, but I guess he drove himself.”

“And paid for parking? What’s he, loaded?”

Athi grins and crosses her fingers.

“Real nice. I’m serious, Ath, that’s some weird psychopath shit. Nobody drives their own self to the airport. No one who has friends, anyway.”

"I think he's just used to being alone.”

“Way to make it sad.”

"Alone doesn't mean sad."

"It kind of is though. But then, he’s got people, right? Like Varric, and, well... I don’t know. People.”

Athi shrugs. “Habits can be hard to break, especially when you’re not trying.”

“Ooh. Very wise today."

"Shut up."

"I mean it!"

She doesn’t tell Sera about the other things. The books covering all his furniture. The busted bathroom door that he removed rather than replaced. The singular coaster on his side table. The way he forgets to be hospitable, then overcorrects, asks her if she needs anything three times in a row. His house, his life, is not prepared for the presence of others. Not meant to host company or take in strays or accommodate a lover, meant for him and his needs and his convenience and no more.

And she’s honestly not sure if that makes her an exception or an intruder.

--

“Woah.”

The door slams shut behind her. Very nearly catches her in the ass but she happened to freeze just beyond its reach.

The place is gutted. Or maybe it's not? Ceiling and walls are fine and nothing she can place is missing, tables and chairs and bottles of booze all present and accounted for, but it looks fucking empty. And clean, though she can’t tell if that’s real or just the lack of tasteless decor.

“I know, right?” Tali dumps a bucket of ice in the bin with the rest. “It was like this when I showed up today.”

Athi drifts in slow, perturbed by the smell of cleaning solution and the lack of clutter. Hangs her purse on the coat rack just inside the office, her jacket on top of that. Pulls her hair back, ties her apron, washes her hands.

“Were we robbed?” she asks, only half joking.

“Technically, that would be a burglary.”

“Were we burglarized?”

“You know,” Tali says, “If someone broke in just to take those awful knick-knacks and creepy pictures Seggrit had up, I say more power to ‘em. Enjoy your ghosts, thief!"

Athi giggles. “Worst was the cabin.”

“Are you kidding? I couldn’t even look at that family one. The kid’s vacant stare, blessed Andraste, I wanted to flip it around every time I walked in that door. And you know that cat had seen things. I mean, did Seggrit know them? Why were they on our wall?”

"Somebody had to keep an eye on us."

"And make sure we weren't flirting with tall handsome customers in the back alley?" Tali grins, tongue stuck out between her teeth.

"Why? You make that a habit too?"

Tali wrings out and refolds her bar towel. “Ok, sweetie. Keep your secrets. I'll get my details one day."

"Anyway." Athi gestures at the naked walls. "Change!"

"Right. It was Seggie for sure. He was here when I came in. Must have dealt with all that crap this morning, though I couldn't say what he did with all of it. Or why. Oh! And he left that.”

Tali reaches back and raps a knuckle on the fridge where a sheet of paper hangs. Athi slides it out from under the magnet. Scans its contents. Flips it writing-side-out toward Tali.

“The fuck is this?”

“A cleaning list.”

“I can see that. Seggrit made it?”

“Either that or your writer pal is moving in for real.”

“And that’s not strange to you? That he cares?”

Tali shrugs one shoulder. “Maybe he’s decided to rejuvenate this place. You know? Spruce it up, invest a little time, maybe hire some better bartenders.”

“Hey, don't sell yourself short."

"Bold of you to assume I meant myself."

“This is weird, though. Right?" She reads off the paper. "Sweep out back? Deep-clean the office? Dust the brick wall? Tali, most of these have nothing to do with anything. Where are the temp checks? Or the fucking tap lines? Or, you know, any of the shit we should actually be doing?"

“Beats me, babe. I'm just glad he's getting involved. You should’ve seen him whirling around here earlier. Something seems to have lit a fire under his rear-end.”

Another feeling, but she can't place this one. It all fits together somehow, or should. The list and the bare walls and the lack of fire hazards. Chewing on the puzzle, Athi picks a task at random, takes a spray bottle and a coffee filter to the windows. Even free of five years’ grime and in full sun, they don’t illuminate much. But that’s all right. The list says clean, and they are definitely that.

[rosaguard]

summer waxes poetically about her favorite aeris gainsborough ships:

i never reblogged that five ships meme because...well i don’t have five aeris ships i care about lol. however, i was challenged(tm) so here is something close to it. i do feel like it is fitting to make this post on here since aeris was actually the first muse i truly started writing a ship on after asking someone first ( and i had been writing on tumblr for like...5 years on and off before that for context. anything before that was just..maybe flirting - nothing i felt invested in ).

aeris & happiness.

   the most important ship. the OTP. no other can compare. i think the biggest tragedy of aeris’ death is that so much was taken from her. she had so much to live for, so much to do, and her life was brutally and suddenly ripped away when she was finally getting the chance to figure herself out and rise to her full potential. i don’t want to aeris to die in the remake ( especially because everything about the whispers would’ve felt like a waste of time if nothing significant changes and aeris living is probably as significant as you can get ) but if it happens, it happens - i’ll just be really sad and disappointed by it lol. i’ve always been very clear that aeris’ death is not a bad one despite my blog canon essentially retconning it. there’s a reason she dies and it’s not to further cloud’s man pain ( he had enough of his own trauma already ); she dies because she’s a legitimate threat to sephiroth’s plans. she’s actually an example of a character death, especially a female one, done incredibly well, especially compared to SE’s recent output ( serah, luna, etc. ). also anyone who says she was created just to die is also wrong. barret was originally written to die first and they decided to change it.

    anyway, the point of me bringing all of this up is that i didn’t decide to do away with her death because i think SE sucks and they hate women. i did away with it because a lot of aeris’ character development ( her learning about the cetra at cosmo canyon, figuring out what the white materia does, etc ) is implied / off-screen since we never know her point of view and then well...she dies. i wanted to explore what her feelings would be if she woke up alive after being attacked while meteor is slowly drawing closer to the planet. how would she handle that? how would she feel? would she feel like a failure? would she be angry? what would she do after meteor is destroyed? would she travel the world? join the w.r.o? tell everyone to fuck off and then move to a cottage in the middle of nowhere and live the rest of her life in peace? these are the questions i wanted answered when i thought about aeris living. i don’t care if she ends up with cloud, or zack, or whoever because they don’t matter: aeris matters. she’s her own person with goals, desires, wishes, and more. no one talks about what she would want and do if she had lived. all people care about is what ‘man’ she belongs to as if she’s a prize to be exchanged between them.

   the second reason is simple that she fucking deserves it. she deserves it after living in a lab for 7 years and watching her mother die just trying to get her out. she deserves after having to deal with being stalked by the same company responsible for a lot of her suffering. she deserves to finally be around friends that make her feel loved, accepted, and cared for. she deserves to not feel alone, or like an outcast, or a freak because of her powers. she deserves to be able to go to icicle inn too and see footage of her father for the first time. she deserves to be able to go back to kalm and see her mom again. she deserves to live happily just like everyone else gets to do. her life has been filled with so much tragedy and pain yet she never lets it define her. she blooms in the face of adversity. she keeps smiling even up until the end of her life. she deserves happiness as her end-game and if i don’t get it in canon, i’m going to create it here myself.

aeris & cloud.

    i disliked this ship for a long time. it actually wasn’t because of the ship itself but due to some of my experiences with the shippers. i won’t go into my fandom experiences but i ran an account dedicated to ti.fa for almost six years so i’ve seen how...unpretty both sides of the 'ship war’ can get and it turned me off. a lot. when i decided to write aeris, i immediately started a replay of the the original game with an ‘aeris-lens’ ( analyzing her character, her relationships, making sure i got her date, etc. ). it made me look at her relationship with cloud in a different light since i had never really paid attention to it as heavily before since i avoided the ship tbh. i ended up enjoying their dynamic a lot. they have a natural chemistry with each other but there’s also this unspoken distance between them which is fully intentional - she has her own walls up and he has his. 

    they have a very ‘tragic love’ since well...she dies before anything can fully go to the next level. their relationship in canon is a very ‘what if’ and as a result, i often see people who don’t like the ship claim that they wouldn’t work because aeris wouldn’t be able to ‘deal’ with cloud and would’ve left. to be blunt, this a bad take considering supporting one another is prevalent throughout their relationship: 

aeris: i learned a lot. the elders taught me many things. about the cetra... and the promised land... i'm...... alone... i'm all alone now... cloud: but i'm...... we're here for you, right? aeris: i know. i know, but... i am the only...... cetra. cloud: does that mean we can't help?

cloud: ...i gave the black materia to sephiroth...? wha... what did I do... tell me, aeris. aeris: cloud... be strong, ok? He writhes and clutches his head. cloud urrrrrrgh... what have I done!? aeris: cloud... you haven't done anything. it's not your fault.

cloud: yeah, I hear you. sorry for what happened. aeris: don't worry about it. cloud: ...i can't help it... aeris: oh... then, why don't you REALLY worry about it? and let me handle sephiroth. and cloud, you take care of yourself. so you don't have a breakdown, okay?

    the remake only reinforces everything i like about their relationship: their banter is great, aeris gently takes his hand during one of his ‘moments’ and supports him, she confides in him about talking to her flowers, and he never treats her differently ( which is a big deal when just two nights before, he told someone to ‘get help’ when they claimed they could hear the planet lol ). they have so much in common as well: they both have struggled with loneliness, being an outcast, and not having a lot of friends. i’ll always find it incredibly interesting how cloud is repeatedly not invited to be apart of group functions in the remake ( he wasn’t allowed to celebrate with avalanche and had to sit outside jessie’s house as the others ate pizza ) until he met aeris and she invited him to have dinner with her and her mom. despite the ‘bodyguard’ dynamic to their relationship, they always feel like equals to me.

aeris: today’s special!!! cloud: why? aeris: because i met you, you dumb binch!!!

aeris: *says cryptic stuff and tells him that they can’t fall in love* ( i’m saying they because apparently in japanese / other languages she says ‘we can’t fall in love’, not just ‘you can’t fall in love with me’. ) cloud: uh....how about i do anyway??? also i’m saving you so...see you tomorrow at 11. bye.

me: their relationship never gets to a serious level because the opportunity was taken away from them de to unfortunate circumstances. 

also me: they’re just just...dumb and in love!!!! i’m sorry, that’s just the way it is!!!! she literally tells him that meeting him again was special to her and the silly boi doesn’t get it!!!! one of the composers of the game even said a tracks that plays with them is meant to have a romantic vibe!! when she pulls away from him, he reaches out for her because he doesn’t want her to let go!! the lyrics of hollow is literally ‘this time i’ll never LET YOU GO’ AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

    anyway, i’ve also noticed this weird trend in the fandom where it feels like cloud is never allowed to just has his own dedicated feelings about aeris - and i’m not even talking about romantic feelings. i feel like whenever there is talk about cloud’s relationship with za.ck or ti.fa, no one inserts aeris into it. they’re allowed to have their individual relationships with him yet with aeris it feels like you cannot talk about how much she meant to him and vice versa without other characters being thrown in. i don’t know if it’s because of shipping and people don’t want to acknowledge that like...characters can have feelings for multiple people or what but the reality is that cloud did feel something for her. she did mean a lot to him; so much so that he slept in her church two years after she was dead and went to her burial place alone. he missed her.  maybe it was just as a friend, maybe it was because of something more but i really dislike how their relationship and importance to each other, regardless of whether it’s platonic or romantic, is constantly invalidated.

aeris & gene.

     when kas / @castershot first created channels for gene and aeris in our rp server last year, i honestly did not think these two would have a serious relationship at all. i figured maybe they would have a fling or something at best / aeris would be the equivalent of a filler character in a few episodes of the show and then they would go their separate ways. ...that didn’t happen but i’m glad it didn’t! i didn’t know a gosh diddly darn thing about outlaw star but i’m very good at researching and aggressively reading wikis so i was able to whip up a verse ( and someone who watched the show thought i had actually watched it after reading my verse so i guess i did a darn good job! ). anyway, i feel like when writing aeris it’s very easy to...hmm...fall into very certain dynamics and considering gene’s line of work ( doing odd jobs, being a bodyguard for hire, a general jack of all trades ), i didn’t want it to be the ‘he’s a bodyguard, she gets protected, blah blah blah’ dynamic but in space. so their relationship ( at least in my head - there’s a lot going on in there tbh!!! ) basically became somewhat of a deconstruction of cl.erith + ( bad ) stereotypes about aeris in general:

      what if the helpless flower girl that needs saving from the big bad corporation is actually a liar who works for said corporation and was sent by them to retrieve something important(tm) and eliminate anyone that gets in her way? what if aeris, a secret member of the turks, has become so desensitized when interacting with other people since she is constantly wearing a mask and she can’t tell if she’s genuinely falling for someone or if her acting is just so good that even she can’t tell what’s real or fake anymore? what if i took all those bad takes about aeris knowing she would die, flip it, and actually make it so that she does know and still goes alone anyway because she wants to save lives for once instead of being the person who takes them away!!

me: imagine the drama!!! the angst!!! kas, casually: [redacted name b/c of spoilers] would just bring her back to life. me: WHAT?! >:(

apparently one character in the show is casually just GOD and can revive people so they can come back like:

    my bubble was BURST. dreams DASHED. plans CRUSHED. dramatics aside, i still kept the idea of her dying because i do like the take of a more secretly jaded / not as ‘pure’ aeris that works for shinra and has to basically relearn how to trust / care about others again + i live to attack kas and all of her muses. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  anyway, the point is that i love them and they’re a dynamic i’m very invested in the more times passes. they’re both so stupid and passionate and loud ( the first in character thing i wrote when i remade this blog was them screaming at each other in an argument ) but they’re also sensitive, don’t open up to others easily, and have trauma!! oof x 100.

me: this ship won’t be serious lol the ship, months later: may or may not have a thread with them going on a date. may or may not have gone to ti.fa and cloud’s wedding together ( where kissafist’s tif.a may or may not threaten to smash his balls in if he doesn’t treat aeris right. *smash em, rip em plays in the distance as aeris aggressively laughs nervously* ), they may or may not get married and have twins that may or may not be named ren and rose. me: clown putting on make up.png

so yea, they’ve come a long way(tm).

the end.

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

[phoenix-downer]

The Keyblade Graveyard Part 1: Japanese and English Comparison

This is the fifth in a series of translation and analysis posts I’ve done about KH3. I’ll be talking about KH3 in the context of Westerns, briefly touch on a possible connection to jidaigeki, go into detail on camera angles and camera shots, and, of course, discuss translation and the social aspects of language.

I’ve broken up this analysis into multiple parts because it was getting so long. This part will cover Aqua and Ven’s interactions with Terranort, the next will cover when he attacks Lea and Kairi, and so on and so forth up through when the Demon Tide sweeps Sora away. 

Here’s a general key for the kind of analysis I like to do:

JP: Official Japanese Dialogue

EN: Official English Dialogue

TR: My Translation (usually more literal and thus more stilted than the official English version. I’m not using natural-sounding English in order to stick as close to the Japanese versions of the lines as possible for the purpose of analysis)

Notes: things I found interesting, grammatical points, extra thoughts, etc.

One last note: media doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Every work of art must be viewed through the cultural lens of the people who made it. Kingdom Hearts, for all its ties to Disney, is still very much a Japanese game, so it should be analyzed in light of that.

With that in mind, let’s continue.

Terra’s introduction is like a cowboy in a Western with the dramatic smoke:

The cinematography of this whole scene strikes me as inspired by Westerns and/or Samurai cinema (chanbara, a subcategory of jidaigeki, or period films). The two genres of film have had a large influence on each other (Akira Kurosawa’s classic Seven Samurai was remade as The Magnificent Seven in the US, for example, and Akira Kurosawa was a fan of the American director John Ford), so this speculation might not be that far off.

This screenshot from the trailer for Seven Samurai, for example, shows a similar “dramatic smoke/dust” moment, which makes me think that this may be a trope in Samurai cinema as well:

The setting of the Keyblade Graveyard itself calls to mind the setting of a lot of Westerns, with its smoke and dust and craggy hills and desert. The conflict even takes place in a graveyard, much like the final standoff in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, one of the most famous Westerns of all time (technically a Spaghetti Western, or a Western made in Italy - in this case directed by Italian director Sergio Leone):

Anyway, continuing on. Terra is here, but he’s looking at the ground and not making eye contact with anyone:

Ven is the first to notice him, and he calls his name...

JP テラ！

EN Terra!

TR Terra!

...before taking off after to him, which stresses Aqua out (and rightfully so - can you blame her for being on edge about everyone’s safety here, especially Ven’s?):

JP ヴェン！

EN Ven!

TR Ven!

We get this wide shot of Ven running to Terra while he just sort of stands there:

There are a number of shots like this in the scene that really emphasize the scale of the conflict by showing how small the human players are compared to the setting.

This ties in well to the theme that the characters cannot change their fate - they’re just playthings of it. The Keyblade Graveyard will still be there long after they’re dead, much like how it is still here after all the people who fought in the Keyblade War died. And while Sora does later change fate, he has to face the consequences. Death claims its prize in the end.

Ven latches onto Terra’s wrist, and the camera focuses on their hands:

And then we get this over the shoulder shot that is also at a bit of a high angle to emphasize Ven’s vulnerability:

JP テラやっと会えた！

EN Terra! We found you!

TR Terra! We could meet at last!

Notes: The Japanese phrasing is a little different than the English version, but the same general meaning gets across. Ven is excited to see Terra again. His use of yatto implies it’s been a while, and he uses the potential form for meet, hence why I translated this as “could meet” despite how awkward it sounds in English.

We get this reverse over the shoulder shot from a lower angle to emphasize Terra’s greater size and strength compared to Ven:

Now, Aqua has Seen Things™ in the Realm of Darkness, and she is quick to ask if this is really the Terra they know and love. No doubt she has in mind the time they met in the Realm of Darkness and Xehanort took control of him:

JP テラ　本当にテラなの？

EN Terra, please say you’re in there.

TR Terra, is that really you? (Literally: Is [that] really Terra?)

Notes: Japanese tends to use names more than English does, whereas English favors the use of pronouns, hence why Aqua repeats Terra’s name twice in her question in the Japanese version.

She uses the ~nano construction to check for confirmation - she wants to believe this is Terra, but she has her doubts.

We get this extreme close up shot of Terra’s eyes to emphasize that while yes, they are blue, they seem a little empty and soulless:

Something I noticed about Kingdom Hearts 3 is that there are a lot of extreme close up shots like this, especially of the characters’ eyes.

Well, as I was doing some research for this analysis, it turns out this type of shot is also sometimes called an Italian shot, named for... you guessed it, Sergio Leone, who popularized it in his Spaghetti Western films.

Here’s an example of this type of shot from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly:

The emphasis of this type of shot is on the character’s emotions, and it serves to heighten the dramatic tension of the scene. Multiple times throughout the Keyblade Graveyard, we’ll get extreme close up shots like this that have just such an effect.

On a side note, I never noticed this many extreme close up shots in a Kingdom Hearts game before. I wonder if they hired new cutscene director(s) to work on the game who left their unique mark on it, or if the graphics capabilities of UE4 allowed them to experiment around with the cinematography more than they could in the past.

Continuing on, we see Aqua’s reaction to Terra’s soulless gaze:

She immediately moves to put herself between Ven and Terra, selfless to the end:

Ven sounds downright annoyed in the Japanese version and confused/questioning in the English version, but Aqua doesn’t care, she’s keeping him safe. Note how tense Sora is in the background:

JP 何だよアクア！

EN What gives, Aqua?

TR What(’s going on), Aqua?

Notes: Ven uses the emphatic particle yo in the Japanese version to show his annoyance with Aqua here - they’re finally all together again and yet she’s pushing him away from Terra? What gives?

The camera changes to this wide shot, once again emphasizing the epic scale of this very human conflict:

JP あなたの中にテラはいない

EN I know that you’re not him.

TR Terra isn’t inside of you.

Notes: Aqua knows the problem. Terra, or perhaps more specifically, Terra’s heart, is not inside of the body before them now. Aqua sounds angry and frustrated in her delivery in the Japanese version. She’s sick of this happening, sick of Terra still being lost to them.

Ven gasps in this next shot to indicate his surprise:

And Aqua sounds very angry/upset in the Japanese version as she commands Xehanort to release Terra. The camera angle is low again to show how Terra is towering over them, to hint at the power imbalance that we will soon see play out:

JP テラの体を返しなさい！

EN Now, let our friend go!

TR Return Terra’s body (to him)!

Notes: When Aqua was addressing Terra earlier, she used casual/intimate grammar forms. Japanese has an entire system of conjugation based on social dynamics - there are polite and casual forms of verbs, there are honorifics, humble expressions, rude expressions... all to express the relationship between the speaker and the addressee.

Aqua switches to a more polite form here. This could be because she wants to indicate social distance from Xehanort. It certainly isn’t used to be polite. This isn’t her friend; this is the man who ruined her friends’ lives as well as her own. She commands him to return Terra’s body using the honorific form nasai in a way that sounds like she’s scolding him. It’s possible she also chooses to use this particular command form as a mark of feminine speech, instead of using one of the coarser/more direct command forms at her disposal.

The camera tilts up, still at that low angle to emphasize Terra’s relative size and height advantage, and he (well, more like the heart inside of him) smirks:

We see his hair change color in a close up shot:

And then Ven’s horrified reaction. After all, he never knew what happened to Terra (as far as I can remember). The shot here really emphasizes his emotions by centering him in the frame head-on:

Fate of the Unknown has begun to play, very fitting for this scene, as Terra’s fate smacks Ven in the face (and the audience as well, for that matter). Note how everyone is ready for a fight, even if their Keyblades aren’t out yet. Knees bent, arms outstretched, or, in Goofy’s case, balled into fists:

Then we get this close up shot of Terranort’s face. His hair is fully silver and his eyes are yellow, and Mickey proclaims what has become of Terra:

JP これで１３人目ー

EN He is their thirteenth.

TR Here is (the) thirteenthー

Notes: Basically saying the same thing in both languages, just worded sligthly differently to sound more natural in English.

Dark smoke wafts off of Terranort as he finally speaks, and it’s not with Terra’s voice:

JP おまえたちはここで敗北する

EN Today is the day you all lose.

TR Here you all (will) lose.

Notes: Terranort uses the derogatory second person plural pronoun omaetachi to refer to them here. He also uses a casual form of the verb suru, indicating familiarity or, in this case, contempt. The word for “lose,” haiboku, can also mean “be defeated.”

Aqua sounds downright angry here in the Japanese version as she responds, and Ven just looks sad. The camera angle is a little off-kilter here (note how Aqua and Ven seem the same height even though they are not, and the characters in the background form a diagonal line): to indicate how “off” this whole situation is (I think this would be an example of a Dutch angle, but in case it’s not, I’ll call this kind of angle a tilted angle throughout this analysis):

JP 何を！

EN What?!

TR What!

Notes: I noticed the dialogue uses a lot of exclamation marks throughout this scene, both in the English version and the Japanese version. Emotions are running high, and all those exclamation marks really serve to show that.

Here we get a shot of Ven’s feet and Aqua’s legs...

...which is reminiscent of images and posters of famous show-downs in movies, like this one for the 1952 Western High Noon:

We even see this same sort of shot earlier in this scene, this time with Sora’s legs and Xehanort as the approaching opponent:

Once again, the framing of the shots calls to mind Westerns.

Moving on to the dialogue:

JP １３の闇にたどりつくこともなく　この場で心は肉体を離れ我が身を散らす

EN Before you even face the thirteen, every last one of you will be torn heart from body.

TR Without even reaching the thirteen darknesses, at this place (your) hearts will be separated from (your) bodies (and) I (will) scatter them (literally the bodies).

Notes: Terranort uses a different pronoun than Terra does. He uses ware, which Xehanort sometimes uses (and also sounds kind of old-fashioned), instead of the masculine pronoun ore, which is Terra’s pronoun of choice.

In the Japanese version, two different words are used for “body” here as well, nikutai in the first instance and mi in the second instance, perhaps for poetic effect and/or to avoid redundancy.

Next, he summons his weapon, which is accompanied by more darkness, and delivers this line:

JP だが安心しろ

EN But fear not.

TR But be at peace.

Notes: “Fear not” sounds a little archaic in English, as in modern English we would say “don’t be scared” or “don’t be afraid.” Over time main verbs lost the ability to move in front of negatives in English, and we insert “do” instead, which attaches to “not” to form “don’t,” while leaving the main verb in its spot.  

Terranort’s use of an older construction in English like this is very effective at making him sound pompous. In modern English saying “fear not” brings up religious connotations, as a lot of well-known quotes from the Bible are based on older translations (hello, King James version) and thus older forms of the language. Terranort sounds like he’s playing at God, here, in other words. It also makes him sound older, which is fitting for an old man who stole the body of a young one.

In the Japanese version, he uses the command form of the verb suru, shiro, to command them to be at peace. This is a very direct way to command someone to do something, kind of coarse and not at all polite.

The camera cuts to this close up shot of his face:

JP χブレードはここで完成する

EN The χ-blade will still be forged.

TR The χ-blade will be completed here.

Notes: Basically saying the same thing in both languages. I like how the English version went with “forged,” though. Fitting for the whole “creating a weapon” thing.

We see, not Aqua and Ven’s reaction to Terranort’s proclamation, but everyone else’s, Sora’s in particular. He is centered in the frame here:

And then we get a closer shot of him to better showcase his reaction. His voice sounds lower here to indicate his determination:

JP おまえたちに負けることはない

EN We’re not gonna lose to you.

TR We’ll never lose to you.

Notes: Sora uses the derogatory second person plural pronoun here, omaetachi. He’s referring to their enemies as a whole as a whole, not just Terranort. Unfortunately this nuance is somewhat lost in English because we use “you” for both singular and plural second person, though regional varieties have popped up, such as y’all, you lot, you guys, youse guys, yinz, etc. to refer to plural “you.”

(For anyone wondering, yes, English did used to make this distinction in the past, much like many modern European languages still do. It was a sad day the English language lost its second person plural pronoun for various reasons that I won’t get into here, but those regional varieties I mentioned have popped up for a reason - it is really useful to be able to make that distinction between singular and plural!)

Sora uses the ~kotowanai construction here to indicate that they’ll never lose to Xehanort and his cronies. He’s absolutely sure of it. And the English version captures his casual style of speech with “gonna.”

The shot ends with him glaring at Terranort:

And the camera cuts to Terranort, making what I will call “the Xehanort look” from here on out:

We can see the Xehanort look exemplified by Xehanort himself here:

An eyebrow raised, head tilting forward, eyes looking up - a Kubrick stare to indicate he’s a little deranged.

An example of the Kubrick Stare for reference, from the film A Clockwork Orange. The Kubrick Stare was popularized by the director Stanley Kubrick for it showing up in a lot of his films:

That is a dramatic contrast from the types of faces Terra makes:

Using Xehanort’s expressions with Terra’s body makes it very clear Terra is not the one in control here, as to my knowledge Terra never makes the Xehanort look. It’s also very unsettling to see Terra acting like Xehanort. It just feels wrong, and that really comes through in how Terranort moves and reacts.

One moment, he’s there...

...and the next, he’s gone, indicated by a whooshing noise:

He can move lightning-fast, a fact the slow motion here in the next part obscures a little for dramatic effect. This has also lead to the impression that Aqua and Ven just stood there and did nothing. That’s not entirely true. It’s more like they didn’t have time to do much of anything.

Aqua does, in fact, react to his disappearance; you can hear her make a surprised noise here:

And then he suddenly reappears between her and Ven, indicated by another whooshing noise. Note Terranort’s posture, how he is bending his knee to gather as much momentum to hit Ven with as possible. The scene also goes into slow motion for dramatic effect:

And the camera cuts to him swinging his blade and speeds up a little:

Again, Aqua barely has time to register that Terranort has moved because he’s moving so quickly. Ven is in shock because he would never imagine Terra hurting him. They didn’t have much time to launch any sort of a defense, and while I think Aqua expected Terranort to attack her, perhaps, neither she nor Ven expected Terranort to attack Ven.

Because Ven is like their younger brother, or even their son. In the Japanese version of BBS he downright said he was supposed to bring his parents to Disney Town when he gave Terra and Aqua the passes, not just grownups like the English version went with. And while Aqua and Terranort have fought before, Terra has never laid a hand on Ven. Not as Terra, not as Terranort. Ven trusts him to keep him safe, to protect him. So for Terranort to attack him, well...

It’s kind of like watching a father attack his own son as his wife watches on in horror at what’s unfolding.

The scene goes back into slow-mo as Terranort’s Keyblade connects with Ven, and Ven is folded over from the impact, Terranort hit him so hard. He makes a choked sound of pain, too, like he’s had the wind knocked out of him and can hardly breathe. Note how Aqua isn’t looking in their direction yet because she hasn’t had time to look yet:

We cut to a closer shot of Ven that puts the focus on him as he reacts, and you can see the pain written all over his face:

The scene is still in slow motion as he hurtles backwards:

And then the camera cuts to Aqua to show her reaction. She slowly turns her head (still in slow-mo, remember?), and the look of shock and horror on her face is heartbreaking to see:

The camera speeds up to normal speeds as it shows Ven being flung backwards, as if this is from Terranort’s POV:

Note how Ven’s eyes are still open, he still seems to be conscious:

And then the camera cuts to a different perspective behind the characters, as if the camera is on the ground. Note how once again the ground is at an angle instead of forming a straight line in this shot to indicate how wrong this whole situation is. We can also see Ven landing on his back with his legs in the air...

...which provides enough momentum for him to tumble backwards:

His body settles on the ground in a cloud of dust, and he no longer seems to be conscious. Note his limp head:

My guess is that landing on his back like that/hitting his head is what made him lose consciousness, as he was conscious before when he was still in the air. Terranort wasn’t necessarily trying to kill him (though I’d argue hitting your head like that would probably be enough to kill you in real life if not in video games), he was just trying to incapacitate him so it would make it easier to take his heart out of his body later on.

Riku provides credence to this theory later on when he tells Sora that the hearts of their friends are still in their bodies. If Ven had died here, that probably wouldn’t be the case.

The camera cuts to Terranort, and he has a downright smug expression on his face over what he just did. The Xehanort look is back in full force:

And it makes for quite the contrast with Aqua’s look of shock and disbelief as she gasps:

We get a shot from her POV, showing Ven crumpled on the ground:

And then a close up shot of her reaction to what has happened to Ven that showcases her emotions, her feelings. This moment is framed in terms of her pain and loss and shock, showing that we as the audience are supposed to empathize with her:

We get a closer shot of Ven that fills the frame, and Ven isn’t conscious:

And Aqua has processed everything enough to finally be able to speak:

She calls Ven’s name in a downright panicked manner and leans forward as she does:

JP ヴェン！

EN Ven!

TR Ven!

To be continued...

[princessamericachavez]

Fjorester in Episode 43

I watched this ep live which means it was 4-7am to me and I might have missed stuff, but here’s what I remember

When Jester wants to start a bar fight and Fjord knows she’s going for it, so his first comment about it, before she even says she wants to fight is “No killing, Jester.”

And then the others keep trying to talk her out of it but the only opinion she asks is Fjord’s saying “Tusktooth?”

But, like, Fjord (as I’ve yelled about so many times before) enjoys Jester’s shenanigans even when he pretends to be frustrated by them, so instead of talking her out of it, he pretends to be chugging on his ale, which Jester correctly takes as a “go ahead”.

heart eyeeeees

“One gold on the blue one!” Awesome callback to their fight in the Gentleman’s speakeasy, further proof that Fjord is just a chaotic prankster at heart and a reminder that he’s constantly in awe by how badass Jester is.

Fjord’s soft-ass smile after the fight when Jester excitedly declares “Hey, I made a friend!” “Yeah, you kept all your teeth!”

When they are talking about the Divers Grave and they are discussing what kind of monster might be in there and then Jester says “It’s an underwater banshee, for sure.” 

“Is that a thing?” 

“Yeah.”

*knowing full well he’s being fucked with* “Hmmmm.”

I don’t know why that exchange feels so flirty to me, and like the fact that they keep zeroing in on each other during group conversations like they live in their own little bubble, kills me.

The Caleb and Jester talk!!!!!!!!

(I will make a whole separate post dissecting this conversation later)

“Really, none of us like it here but Fjord” “I don’t even know if he likes it a lot” 

Yes! Give me Jester picking up on Fjord’s general discomfort with the situation and how stressed and uneasy he is with how everything’s gone down!

For real though, if I have to see one more post talking about how Jester doesn’t actually care about the real Fjord or how he feels about this whole situation, this talk is one of the very many scenes imma shove on their faces passive-aggressively. 

“Well, there’s parts of it that he likes.” “Like Avantika” “I don’t know”

Rip my heart out, Laura Bailey, why don’t you!

“You’re sweet on him, ja?” “I don’t know...” “Yeah.” “It feels funny.” “How do you mean?”

THIS WHOLE THING WAS SUCH CALL BACK TO VEX AND VAX TALKING ABOUT PERCY THO

“Well, you know when you really like somebody but then you start to know them and you go ‘do I like them, or do I like what I thought they were’? And you don’t know.”

Mfking laura bailey giving us that character growth arc with sheltered naive Jester who believes in love at first sight and the romance all her books talked about and is now beginning to realize that real deep feelings are much stronger and complicated than all of that.

Like the way she says it “feels funny” really says so much.

And I know some people might take this as “oh so she never liked him for real” but I think that would mean taking this conversation entirely out of context. 

This whole arc, Fjord and Jester have had some very big moments together, and I think Jester’s confusion does not stem from being disillusioned with Fjord...

I think the fact is that she’s feeling more than she expected, she’s discovering she likes Fjord in a way she has no words for, in a way that makes her hurt when he talks to Avantika, that makes her confused about their interactions, second guessing his intentions and whether he’s fliriting back with her or not, overanalyzing what his gestures mean, like the kiss...

Jester is in Love with capital L and none of her mother’s teachings and experience have prepared her to handle it.

What I want to talk about here, though, is not about Jester’s confusion per se but how Travis and Matt react to this. Since if anyone is aware of what Fjord feels about this it would be the two of them.

“Do I like them or do I like what I thought they were?”

This is the face of a man who just realized his wife is taking her funny character’s crush and turning it into real feelings and he’s going to be fucked.

WHAT IS THAT LOOK YOU TWO. I CAN SEE YOU. WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

That is the face of a DM who is ready to take the most advantage of this situation in the future.

Bonus: Taliesin “I’ve been in the receiving end of this” Jaffe is enjoying this too much. He is just shaming Travis/Fjord for his bad choices.

“And then you think they are flirting with you but then you find out they probably weren’t, you know?”

Travis’s blush just tells me that there was flirting (which was pretty obvious, and Laura knows it)

“And you feel kinda sad about it and maybe a little stupid?”

LOOK AT THOSE FACES

Travis after that talk contemplating his life choices.

But for real, what kills me about that talk is how familiar it feels, and how confused Jester seems by Fjord’s hot and cold attitude, but she’s not ever blaming him for not liking her, or not living up to her fantasy standards, not even for leading her on,  instead, she’s blaming herself and feeling stupid for not comprehending right away all of these complicated emotions.

Caleb: “Tomorrow we get sorted out, we help Fjord figure out his shit.”

Jester: “Yeah, that’s important to him.”

TELL ME SHE DOESN’T CARE YOU DEMONS I’M WAITING

Also, thank god that Jester talked to Caleb about this because he’s the one person who gave her some sensible advice: let’s focus on surviving and once back on main land you can take your time to figure your feelings out.

He also brings up that this is important for Fjord, which she agrees on. So no matter what, feelings or not, they will support him through this as best as they can.

Which brings us to Caduceus’s an and Fjord’s talk.

I love this conversation in light of what Tal’s said about Caduceus’ point of view during last weeks Talks: he’s aware of how Fjord’s decision to sleep will Avantika will create friction within the group, especially with Jester.

C: “I think this place is dangerous. She is dangerous.” F: “That she is.” 

And Fjord tries to avoid the subject, but now that they are there, you can see Caduceus scrunch his face and take a stab at the subject:

C: “Fjord, you know why everybody is doing this, why we’re all here, right?”

And Fjord sighs heavily because, to a degree, I don’t think he understand the answer is “because we care about you and want to help you”. To Fjord, the answer is: “this is your fault, your responsibility”

F: “Yeah. I mean, I think.” C: “I think you know. I just wanna point it out ‘cause that woman, she doesn’t care what any of us want. I’m sure she’d be interested, but it’s way low in her priorities and I don’t trust anybody who keeps other people’s needs that low in the list. You should keep in mind all that, while you’re getting in bed with her, so to speak.”

Fjord: *panics*

Fjord: *desperately tries to convince Caduceus to keep this knowledge to himself*

And I think, Caduceus with his high AF perception, can tell why Fjord cares so much that this is kept from the others. It’s not like it’s something bad, it’s actually beneficial for their group as a whole (as iffy as that makes me because of the unequal power dynamic), and it has been suggested multiple times.... so what reason does Fjord have to keep it so fiercely in the down-low? 

Friction. 

“I think I get it. I’m not gonna talk out of term. I trust your intentions, so...”

And here’s a good part:

C: “You’re asking if I can tell that you’re conflicted?”

F: “No, I think that’s pretty clear.”

C: “You would be amazed, but alright.”

Because Caduceus knows that not everyone in the M9 —cough, Jester, cough— is convinced that this is all just a play on his part. 

Fjord goes on to reaffirm that he’s trying to keep Avantika close for the party’s good. 

okokokokok

MOVING ON

LET’S TALK ABOUT VERA’S TALK GO JESTER

LET’S TALK ABOUT VERA AFTER KNOWING THEM FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS SINGLING OUT JESTER AS THE PERSON WHO LOOKS AFTER FJORD

LET’S TALK ABOUT VERA TELLING JESTER TO LOOK AFTER FJORD BECAUSE AVANTIKA WILL HURT HIM

“He would not be the first she’s left in ruin. He would not be the last. I would take care of him, if he cannot.”

i am so frustrated that Laura/Jester seemed to misinterpret Vera’s warning help me god someone please bring it up on Talks or something because it will bother me forever

When they are planning: 

Caleb: What if Fjord keeps Avantika busy... 

Beau: Do we need to have him distract Avantika? Can’t we just go now?

...

Beau: And we can have [Caleb] make sure that [Fjord and Avantika] are busy. If you [Fjord] are comfortable with that. You don’t have a lot of a choice. 

FJORD

JESTER

*Nott keeps planning*

JESTER

J: Well, Caduceus is very perceptive. 

F *having flashbacks of Jester going down in the jungle*: THE TWO CLERICS ARE NOT GOING ON THE MISSION TOGETHER.

J: So we all wait until Fjord starts boning....

Fjord’s face journey tho

he is so confused help him

when your crush who was jealous is suddenly ok with u sleeping with someone else

wait i thought she liked me

Fjord’s worried overprotective mode ON as soon as Caduceus casually mentions that two guards stabbed each other and probably everything is pandemonium 

Jester saying they should frame Vera was clearly rooted on her misunderstanding Vera’s warning, but I really like that as soon as she thought someone was a direct threat to Fjord she was like “nope gotta get rid of them”.

Avantika’s notes talk about her having dreams about people who were close to her “chaining her back” and how she had to get rid of them...

...and we’ve seen hints of that with Vandrin and Sabien in Fjord’s dream the other time....

...but I’m calling it that we’ll eventually see Uk’otoa try to pit him against the M9 and the one he’s closest to is Jester by far and I’m sure we’re gonna get some dramatic moment out of it I can’t waiiiit

*After reading the journal*

J: Fjord, as you as crazy as she is? Because holy shit.

Fjord:

I LOVE THEM GOOFING AROUND PLS MAKE EACH OTHER SMILE IN THIS TRYING TIMES

and likek

thanks i love them

anyway

in two weeks

if they don’t die

tune in to see me keep screaming about this two, and cross your fingers for a one on one talk if they manage to get a breather away from Avantika

[spectral-musette]

Finished Thrawn: Treason a couple of days ago, and typed up some thoughts (cause I don’t know anyone else who’s read it and I just wanted vent them somewhere).

Overall, I think I still liked Alliances the most of the new Thrawn books, but Treason (or as I’ve been calling it, Threason) was also really enjoyable.

(Spoilers to follow for the current Thrawn series, Outbound Flight, and the end of Rebels)

(Disclaimers:

While I think Thrawn is a fascinating character, I’m not under any illusions that he is heroic, good, or admirable just because he’s written as the protagonist of the current series of novels. To me, Thrawn is interesting because I don’t see him as the kind of villain who convinces himself he’s actually good; it’s just that, in his calculations, morals and ideals are valued below expediency. He doesn’t think he’s right, only that he’s necessary. When you’ve compromised morality and justice and sworn allegiance to someone like Palpatine for what you believe to be the greater good, what’s left? What remains of your own soul when you’ve made yourself a monster just to fight off worse monsters? None of the novels have gotten to that point yet, but I hope TZ will eventually take us there.

Also, I know Outbound Flight is considered “Legends”, but I think it gives a lot of insight into Thrawn’s character. At his panel at SWCC, Timothy Zahn said he always writes as if all his old books could still become canon, so I’m assuming that the events of Outbound Flight continue to factor into TZ’s development of the character.)

I think the title maybe oversold the angle that we might see Thrawn working against Imperial interests. Apparently, he’s much too committed and careful for that. Acts of treason certainly came into play in the plot, but not committed by Thrawn. He doesn’t even lie to Palpatine – he omits, carefully, sometimes, but rarely that.

I discovered at SWCC that fandom was pretty hyped about the return of Eli Vanto. I had admittedly been rather tepid on Eli in the first novel in the series. Any good things Eli did were always tempered by the fact that I couldn’t quite forget that this was a young man who quite freely decided that the Imperial Navy was the career path for him. In Treason, I found it much easier to like Eli now that he’s no longer an Imperial officer. Seeing him finding his footing on the Chiss battleship was interesting, and I liked the soft beginning of romantic feelings between him and Vah’nya (the Force-Sensitive Chiss navigator who, at 22, is the oldest known Chiss to ever maintain her abilities). I was going to say “hints of feelings”, but I think it was a bit stronger than that? Her flirtation was downright overt at times (“You were not merely coming to see me? Too Sad.” Lol, get it Vah’nya), and Eli did tell her that he’d die for her, so that seems like a pretty solid foundation? I’m a little worried about them, though. What I recall about Chiss society from Outbound Flight and Survivor’s Quest is that it’s pretty class-bound and that they don’t really think much of outsiders. It’s unclear to me if an important asset to the Ascendancy like Vah’nya would be permitted to have a relationship with a non-Chiss.

Much as Assistant Director Ronan (who is just the worst, see below) liked to throw around “traitor” re: Eli, I’m not sure I’m ready to give Eli Imperial Defector status, at least not quite at the same level as the people who joined the Rebellion. Eli has yet to actually work against the Empire. I feel like Eli’s background (being from Wild Space) did affect the way he perceived the Empire as just the same old Galactic Republic going by a new name, but after the things he experienced in the first Thrawn novel, Eli at least knows very well that the Empire uses slave labor. But I guess at this point he’s buying Thrawn’s rationale that the military strength of the Empire is keeping the Grysk, the spooky big bad from the edges of the galaxy, out of that part of the galaxy? It would be interesting to see how Eli’s perceptions of the Empire might change after the destruction of Alderaan.

Leading up to the release, I saw some promotion for the novel, I think on twitter, saying that a “new” female Chiss character was being introduced, Admiral Ar’alani. My initial response was, uuuuuuuuum wasn’t she in Outbound Flight, though? And I know that’s not technically canon anymore, but, wasn’t she also mentioned in the first new Thrawn novel? So actually, not really new at all? BUT Vah’nya and little Un’hee are both new and I love them, so there absolutely ARE new female Chiss characters in Treason… just… not Ar’alani. Though we do see a good bit more of her in this book than we have previously.

And I really enjoyed Ar’alani as a character in Treason. She’s a great foil to Thrawn to directly demonstrate that no, all the Chiss are not Like That. She’s honorable and cunning, and she’s quite passionate, quick-tempered but also quick to move past her anger. I liked that we got to see her being fierce and indomitable, but she was also able to be so soft and comforting to a rescued child without ever undermining her authority or seeming remotely awkward or uncomfortable about it. It was fun to see her get so angry and annoyed at Thrawn, but be able to put it aside and work with him because she knows it’s the best course of action.(There are points from Faro’s point of view when Ar’alani just goes off on Thrawn in the Chiss language aboard the bridge of the Chimaera, and I’m DYING to know what she’s saying to him). I was kinda getting a vibe that the two of them possibly were exes before the scene where Eli has the same thought -

Eli Vanto, on the bridge of a Chiss warship, during battle: I Think My Admirals Used to Bang.

(Verbatim, it’s “he wondered at the history and the relationship between Ar’alani and Thrawn”)

And it kinda solidified for me in the farewell between them:

[“Someday, Mitth’raw’nuruodo, you’ll overthink and overplan, and it will come crashing down all around you. When that happens, I hope someone is there to lift you back to your feet.”

“You, perhaps?”

Ar’alani shakes her head. Her expression holds regret, perhaps even pain. “I very much fear I will never see you again.”]

(I MEAN, wow okay, why don’t you two just make out right there in the turbolift, then?)

(And I get that you could totally read the dynamic another way, but that’s how it comes across to me)

I don’t recall their dynamic being that uh… charged? in Outbound Flight? But Outbound Flight was a bit more focused on Maris’s hero-worship/crush on Thrawn (and admittedly it’s been a while since I read it).

Speaking of Outbound Flight, the fact that Ar’alani has held the rank of Admiral since before the Clone Wars tells us that she definitely is not a young woman. Even if she rocketed through the ranks on a combination of extraordinary ability and family connections, it seems like she’d be at least in her 30’s at that point (and that’s really low-balling it), and that was 25+ years ago. Granted, we don’t know much about Chiss lifespans or how they show their age, but no mention is made of her age at all. The only descriptor I could find of Ar’alani when paging back through Outbound Flight (aside from the typical “blue-skinned”/“glowing red eyes” Chiss stuff) was “resplendent”, so I’ve decided that’s her main attribute and she might be slightly immortal.

Eli makes note of the fact that she has the same name-structure as the navigators (two-part instead of three-part, never abbreviated to a core name). This can’t just be a gendered thing – Eli is supposed to be good at noticing patterns in things and would SURELY have realized that (plus, Feesa in Survivor’s Quest is a lady with a three-part name) – but I wonder if the answer is just: Ar’alani was a navigator when she was a child. She knows an awful lot about the navigators’ abilities (even Thrawn doesn’t know much about “Second Sight”), seems particularly sympathetic to and protective of them, and both Vah’nya and Un’hee seem particularly attached to her. Force-sensitive Ar’alani is an interesting prospect!

I’m not sure I’d say I ship Thrawn and Ar’alani, exactly, but the idea of him being her ex-lover who keeps calling her up and asking for favors even though he’s off the grid doing CRAZY SHIT is amusing to me. I’m not sure if I like the idea of them having been together when they were young (in a military academy, maybe) and splitting up for political reasons (differences in class/family affiliations) or if I prefer to think they had a thing when he was her junior officer, or what. Mostly I think it makes an interesting sunken ship, as it were. She probably deserves better anyway (more on Thrawn’s personal problems in a bit).

Wow that turned into “just blather on about Admiral Ar’alani”, didn’t it? Anyway, she’s a great character and I like her a lot.

To move on to another character, Assistant Director Ronan is, as I said, the worst. I’m pretty sure Thrawn’s not wrong about Vader straight up murdering this dude, given the opportunity. And I mean, there are two types of characters Vader will murder: Ones you Really Don’t Want him to, and ones that you… do? Ronan is the latter. Instead, Thrawn is using him to let Ar’alani feed very select info back to the Empire about the Chiss. So, cape-wearing, Krennic-worshipping Ronan thinks the Emperor is petty and more interested in watching his subordinates squabble than providing effective leadership and also apparently hates Force-users (declaring himself an enemy to Thrawn if he’s working against Palpatine’s goals to eradicate them). And while I’m sure the Chiss will maintain the secrecy and protection around their navigators as well as they can, I’m very uncomfortable with the idea of this guy anywhere near my tiny blue daughters.

And I’m pretty sure Thrawn is not working with Palpatine to kill Force-sensitives in the Ascendancy. If he was, this would be a dark prospect given Eli’s project to collate data about the navigators! But as far as I can tell at this point, Thrawn’s goals for the navigators are the same as Ar’alani’s – more navigators who maintain their abilities longer are a benefit to the Ascendancy. And while navicomputer technology is certainly more sustainable, it seems like if the Ascendancy wanted it, that’s certainly something they would be able to obtain. Possibly they’re just being traditionalist about it (using navigators because they’ve always used navigators) and possibly it’s partly to contain the Grysk – a navicomputer doesn’t have an expiration date like a captured Chiss navigator does. Maybe Force-aided navigation has advantages we haven’t fully explored (or I’m just forgetting some of the ones we have).

I think TZ has tended to write Thrawn as more sympathetic over time (not that this is a recent development; see Outbound Flight) so it becomes hard to reconcile the version of Thrawn in Rebels to the current Thrawn in the novels, even though the events are tied up quite closely. Probably because Rebels Thrawn is drawn mostly from the less-developed version of the character in the original Thrawn novels, and mostly I think because TZ didn’t have any input in writing Thrawn’s episodes.

What seems to be an on-going thread in the current novels is Thrawn’s tendency to isolate himself. I think he’s actually pretty fond of Eli (insofar as he’s capable of things like “fondness”). And while I’m sure Eli can be an asset to the Ascendancy, with Eli serving Ar’alani, Thrawn also no longer has to deal with Eli, who views him as a good commander and a brilliant, admirable person, holding him accountable for any actions that might contradict that view. He holds Eli at arm’s length throughout the story in Treason; in part you can chalk this up to the urgency of the mission, but it strikes me that he’s actively pushing Eli away. Eli never gets much of a moment with Thrawn, no renewal of camaraderie. Eli’s angry about it at the beginning, perceiving it as a snub, but by the end he’s more resigned to it. It sucks to love someone who doesn’t seem to care about you.

(But I’m not sure Thrawn doesn’t care about Eli, I think he’s just being careful to let Eli get that impression.)

And Thrawn does the same with Commodore Faro, recommending her for a major promotion out of his immediate circle. She’s deeply loyal to him and admires him, and he is sure to remove her from his sphere of influence. Always to the benefit of the removed party (Eli is thriving in the Ascendancy, and I’m sure Faro will do well in her new command), of course. But they’re also gone. He doesn’t have to be privy to their disappointment, disillusionment, and he doesn’t have to be responsible for their lives or deaths. Thrawn is actively denying himself the opportunity to be cared for, and maybe keeping himself from getting attached beyond a certain point as well.

Because once upon a time, before the Clone Wars, Thrawn was a person who liked being admired, who deeply valued idealism in others, who loved his brother.

Does the self-isolation go back to his brother’s death, or is it part of his approach to serving Palpatine? If he doesn’t live like a person with feelings and loved ones, is it easier to tolerate the suffering he’s causing to other people with feelings and loved ones?

(And in the aftermath of the Rebels finale – assuming Thrawn survived the Purgill attack, and there’s no reason he MUST have – what happens when he is really truly isolated, with nothing between him and oblivion but an angry teenage Jedi apprentice who utterly loathes him? And… some space whales.)