#anyways this book is so fun lmfao the side characters are literally the best part

[vulcanhello]

[jrueships]

top 5 movies

OOOO OKAY so i actually hate doing top tens because i overthink everything and constantly switch things around SOO... im just gonna do a collection of five things bee likes SORRY FOR THE FALSE ADVERTISING 😭

1 City of God

i hate telling people this is one of my fav movies cus I don't wanna seem like that pretentious person who only watches foreign films for the sake of watching foreign films. This is literally my favorite movie because it's my favorite movie. I don't really watch a lot of movies and this just happened to be one i found and happened to like! I read the book first (dont. By the way. It kinda sucks partly because it got translated poorly so not it's fault but mainly because it's violence for the sake of violence. Like if the movie went just by book, i wouldn't like it. But it doesn't so <3 )

think of the movie and the book like No Country For Old Men. The book goes for shock and suspense and the movie goes to make it Art. It's a really pretty film and you kinda value it more knowing like. None of the actors went anywhere. They did their piece for the film then that's pretty much all. It's a good film of a bad film that made it good film? Like what happens is bad, but the bad doesn't happen just to happen and be Bad. IDK man !

Next is

YEAH SO. LMAO um 😭 let's get this clear i hate b*ll i hated him from the beginning righteous prick and i always skipped his parts in the show or used it to do homework when i was lil. I JUST REALLY LOVED THE ANIMATION!! the show and the movie is ass tho. BUT IT'S THE KINDA ASS... you Enjoy 😈. All intentions possible. I love love LOVE watching this movie with friends so we can make fun of it and point out the terrible writing, not in a 'we're better sense' but a 'LMFAO WTF WAS THAT????'

it's a very WTF WAS THAT movie and i love it 😭. Weird Harold, Rudy, and Otis (yall don't even know any of these people but especially Otis. All u gotta know is he's the best) carried. Dumb Donald has a great design cartoon wise but he got on my nerves. He's alright tho

the harder they fall's soundtrack is SO good. It's so cool, it's just a COOL movie. It's an action movie so some of the characters could've been written better (especially some of the women. They werent written horrible but they had more potential that you can feel wasnt justly reached), but the characters they spent time on, you could tell. From their stories and personalities and dialogue and interactions, very cool!!! Sometimes an almost anime-esque kind of movie? Sometimes shot like Scott pilgrim? Sometimes sphagetti western.. Sometimes action.. Sometimes comedy! It's a COOL movie that you can think about a little bit but not cramp yourself over. It's not a complete turn your brain off though. It's engaging in what it is! Which is a lot of things, so it's very engaging!!!

Blade!!!!!! The patron Saint of joth gf!! my first!!! my beloved!! my EVERYTHING!!!!! the movie's writing shows its time in only having personality in 'crazy side villain who dies' 'clever quip when someone dies' 'sad for short time when someone dies'. Maybe the new blade movie wouldn't be in such a fumbling state if i was in the writer's room with my divine, lifesaving advice of 'just make blade more babygirl'. Literally. That's all you have to do. It's not that difficult. ANYWAYS yeah he and the flash and hawkman were my 3 only childhood 'superhero' heroes. This is more of a personal childhood attachment thing like Albert than being a.. Good movie. BUT it DOES have its cinematography! You can feel the wuxia inspiration in some scenes

these two can sit in the same space because they're both childhood films as well. Boyz was better at leaning into characters as human (which i value a lot) and menace was better at showing the edge of what life can do to characters. They're both good films in their own right! Check em out! I liked menace way more than the other when i was younger but growing up im leaning more toward the other but they're AGAIN theyre both super snazzy

Some honorable mentions... to make up for the lack of a ranking system:

- New Jack City: NEWWW JACK! CIIIITYYY (NEW JACK CITYY 🎶 !!) older blaxplotation movie so cheesy, cheap, but like? Cool??? cut out the cheesy old cop crud and you get an entertaining villain with an entertaining mob. Also there's one death in the movie that's a brutal one, and it's offscreen. You just see a glimpse of the desecrated aftermath. Those are like the best deaths in a movie tbh. The imagination being our biggest friend and our biggest enemy. Love it love it!

- dead presidents: WAR IS TRAUMATIZING!!!

- mean girls: the Brutus speech about Cesar.. no essay can compare. Shakespeare shut the fuck up bitch

- clueless: 🥰

- little shop of horrors: open up here i come

- in the wood: STACY!!!!!!!

- Rocky: Apollo slayed and then he died

- sky high + high school musical: Disney peaked with these characters then never again

- FRIDAY + Friday 2: loved the 'you don't need a weapon' moral trying to be taught then using a weapon (brick) in the end. Seamless

- ratatouille: the wii game ratatouille was my red dead redemption

- baby jody: all manchilds need to watch this. It's hilarious and it's true. Don't be a manchild. Grow up. OH also the mom has a little garden and it's really cute. And she's super buff. People try to plant shit in her garden. Makes me so mad. We can never have nice things!!!

- coraline: the movie was so cool.. the video game on the wii scared me so bad i had nightmares from the bad game over screens. But the designs were great the elements the songs the using good characters abilities into their bad character abilities UGH it was SO cool!!! i hate people that like coraline though... it's like.. idk how to describe it. there's like two types of theater people... either really really nice or seems really nice, actually a huge usually passive aggressive or control freak holier than thou smart ass who thinks they're the stem of theater because their personality is loving hamilton (i fucking hate hamilto

- hot boyz: this movie is straight ass

- king of New york: this one kinda sucked too but the secondary villain was gay and awesome

- Good Burger: i watched a blossoming boy romance in a place that sells burgers. Good burgers.

- Monster House

they survived because they had sex

-Kung fu panda all of them except maybe not the 3rd: just gorgeous gorgeous movies. The animation is stunning

- Hustle & flow: Ludacris !!!!!!!!! Acts!! He gets his ass kicked but that's ok. I think in another film he also gets his ass kicked? I can't remember tho. He loves losing

- Se7en: themed kills that play with unique abilities 🥰🥰 i don't have the patience for a murder mystery so i don't remember who did it or what was in the box and i don't cool. Seven deadly sins awesome

- Barbershop: mollusk man and preppy man should've had sex. Hate sex specifically

- that one movie? 9?: i watched it when i was little and alone. The Bara fucking dies

- Johnny English Reborn aka THE MR BEAN X DANIEL KALUUYA MOVIE IM TELLING YOU THEY HAD S*X!!!!!!@ it's actually a mainly unfunny movie with some funny parts like most older comedies but it's gay so it's ok

- encanto: i don't like encanto like Some people like encanto but it was the first movie that made me upset, I can't even Identify why?? It got me in my feelings and i don't even know!! How!! Or what!!!! I wouldn't say it's my favorite movie in terms of i want to see it again because i Like it, but it IS a good movie!! Like objectively it's great

- night at the museum: gay

- white chicks: the dancing scene? Monster high wishes it could

- cars: the purple car was so hot

- mo' better blues: so much could be solved if hate sex...

- remember the titans: football polycule and mean man

- fences: father issues . The Movie.

- into the spiderverse: yes.

- the players club: her boyfriend's name was Lance who tf is called Lance who is real? Like a real person? Lance is for GTA Lance Vance who likes to Dance. He cheated because he was always fake. Like Lance armstrong.. they are not. Real people.

- NOPE: the spectacle idea is SOOOOO

- glory road: gay people gay people gay basketball people gay

- space jam: i thought this was the coolest shit when i was little but the part where Michael's manager got flattened gave me nightmares.

Let It Shine: lord of Da Bling.....

-space jam 2: robot dame is still hot

- Get Out: I liked reading the script a lot for this one!! Also gay. Loving gay couple who survived crazy white people and coparent a tiny dog very well. A well deserved happiness

- jump in: this movie is like fat albert to me

- white men can't jump: gay couple school the system (love wins)

- Jason takes manhattan: my favorite character is on watchmojo top ten best Jason kills 😭😭 Julius gaw you should've won and i stand by that. Should've donkeykicked him in the stomach ROLL CREDITS!!!!

[myaekingheart]

1, 2, and 12!!

Bless you, Jessie 🙌💕 

Alright so since I reblogged like 20 ask memes, I’m just gonna go ahead and take the liberty of doing all of these numbers for every single one I’ve reblogged that’s applicable to give myself extra stuff to do xD

Fanfiction Asks! 

1. Do you read fic? Do you write fic?

I actually write fic WAY MORE than I read fic. I find that the issue I have when reading fic is that I get really giddy and inspired and then I lose my concentration on the story in front of me and my interests rather shift more towards the story in my own damn head. I really need to start reading more of other people’s work, though. I have a handful saved on AO3 that I just have not gotten around to, but I really should. I really have so many damn things I want to read, fanfiction and otherwise, but lack the motivation to sit down and actually read it. 

2. Favorite genre of fic?

I feel like it’s kind of hard to pinpoint exactly what kind of fic I’m drawn most towards, but I guess the best descriptor would be drama? I don’t know, I just really like stories that focus heavily on character development and interpersonal relationships (so bildungsroman lmfao), especially when there’s some imperfect romance and action/adventure involved. Both of my main fanfics, my Narnia series Temptation and The Scarecrow and the Bell, my Naruto fic, both are pretty much just that: heavy focus on character with imperfect romance and action/adventure. I just think it’s fun seeing characters, especially ones that have feelings for each other, in stressful and dangerous situations trying to work through them together and oftentimes disagree and have to figure out how to handle the disagreements, too. Or have personal stuff they’re dealing with on top of things. I don’t know, I just really love focusing on relationship dynamics and situations like that are a fun lens to look through. 

12. What turns you away the most from a fic?

Honestly, grammatical issues and whether or not the story feels believable. I guess I’m kind of picky when it comes to that stuff, but I’m also used to being critical of writing solely because I’m a creative writing major and a big part of this degree’s curriculum is workshopping peer writing. Grammatical issues in terms of a misplaced comma or something aren’t that big a deal, I’m not that stingy, but things like lacking paragraph breaks, or not knowing when to switch paragraphs, bug me as well as habitual misspellings of common words--the one that peeves me off the most is spelling “definitely” like “defiantly” or “definately” or any other misspelling under the sun. The idea of a story feeling believable might just be me being really picky but I’ve opened up fics sometimes where I could hardly get through the first paragraph because the story didn’t feel genuine to me. It’s kind of hard to explain, but I guess as someone who puts a ton of research into my own fanfics and also really tries to perfectly capture the tone of the source material, sometimes I’ll read stuff that just feels out of place and it really takes me out of the story and honestly makes me cringe. I feel like saying all of that makes me sound like some kind of asshole, though. I don’t know, I’m just so goddamn picky when it comes to what I’m reading and especially with fanfiction, since it’s a lot more organic and it doesn’t go through the same fine toothed editing process that professionally published works do (although I’ve picked up on some questionable stuff even in print books; one such thing was so minor, but it was a forgotten period at the end of a sentence and I kept laughing about it saying to myself “Someone missed a period!” You know, like an asshole.) 

Music Asks

1. your favorite album opener

Beartooth’s Greatness or Death off their most recent album, Disease. It just really sets the tone for the rest of the album and feels like such an appropriate intro overall. They have a playlist for the entire album on Youtube with the correct track listing so that was the first song off thei newest album that I had heard and it just felt like such a great and appropriate intro, it really got me into the vibe and energy of the rest of the album and I just...I love it a lot. The song, the album, the band in general. 

2. a song starting w/ the same first letter of your first name

Aurora Avenue by Defeat the Low. I’m a huge Nirvana fan, and the song is all about Kurt Cobain. The entire first verse was literally pulled straight from his infamous suicide note (”Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee.”) I stumbled upon this song by pure chance-- it was playing at the end of a video for a different song, which I think was actually a Beartooth one-- and it sounded interesting so I pulled it up and the minute I heard the first verse, I, who had read Kurt’s suicide note already, was like “WAIT A SECOND THIS SOUNDS REALLY FAMILIAR” but it didn’t hit me that that was what it was, and that the entire song was about Kurt, until later and it made me love it even more. 

12. a song you can scream all the words to

Hospital for Souls by Bring Me The Horizon. It’s an all-time fave, made even more so by the fact that it’s one of my top ship songs (for my Naruto ship, Kakashi Hatake x my OC Rei Natsuki, who I write the fanfic about, and even made an AMV for them with because I’M CRAZY). It also just hits really hard personally, especially the line “Have you ever put a blade to your wrists, or have you been skipping meals?” because it relates to my own mental health struggles. I’ve never had the right opportunity to actually scream all the words aloud along with the song, but I desperately need to find the right place to do it one of these days because I have a lot of feelings I need to get out that can only be done through that exact act and I need to do it in a way where I will not end up getting the cops called on me for being way too loud. I just need a soundproof room in general (not just for these purposes, but also because I’m a voice actress for an independent animated series called Space Hotel and I need someplace to record shit anyways.)

Soft and Ethereal Asks

1.secret garden or forest?

Secret garden! I love the idea of having someplace only I know guarded off by a wall with vines running up the side of it, the kind of place you enter through a wrought-iron gate, where flowers are growing through the cracks and there’s a bubbling fountain in the center you can sit by either on the edge or in the grass or on a dirty old cement bench from times before I was even a thought in my parent’s head, and just revel in the silence with a good book or a pencil and sketchbook and make flower crowns and daisy chains or have a little personal picnic laying out a checkered blanket and carrying everything in a big basket like strawberries and little sandwiches and homemade cookies and shit. I’m such a sap but I live for the idea of that gentle, pastel-tinted quiet afternoon. Pure solace. 

2.the stars or the moon?

The moon. I love stars to death, too, but there’s something about the moon that really hits me. Maybe it’s because it goes through phases but no matter what is still whole even when it appears not to be. Maybe it’s because it’s kind of comforting to look at. More than anything, though, it’s probably at least partially because one of my favorite films is Rise of the Guardians (and by extension, the book series it was based upon, The Guardians of Childhood) in which the moon is a major character, or at least The Man in the Moon. In the movie, he’s never seen or heard but he’s always there watching over the world. Jack Frost, the protagonist, doesn’t understand his purpose in this eternal life of his where no one can see him and no one believes in him, and constantly looks to the moon for answers but never hears any. The very first lines of the movie are even “Darkness. That’s the first thing I remember. It was dark and it was cold and I was scared. But then...then I saw the moon. It was so big and so bright. It seemed to chase the darkness away.” Not to get super religious here but in a way the whole moon thing even reminds me of Christianity a little bit, and I’m not really religious in the slightest (maybe spiritual, but not very religious) but this movie also came to me at a time when I was very at odds with the idea of God and faith and everything, and I felt like Jack Frost constantly questioning what the point of it all was and questioning whether something greater even existed and if so, then how could they let terrible things like this happen? Without any solid answer? I don’t know, I don’t want this to get into a debate about my own religious beliefs, but yeah. The moon and I have some history, so I’ll choose the moon over the stars. 

12.fiction or short stories?

Fiction. By nature of my degree, I have to read a lot of short stories for college and some of them are really enjoyable and interesting but then we get to the debate of genre fiction versus literary fiction, which I think is a stupid fucking debate and literary fiction needs to get off it’s damn high horse with it’s “holier than thou” complex or whatever. Or maybe it’s not the literary fiction itself so much as the people who praise it. Like yes, I get that literary fiction is contemporary fine art and nuanced and shit but sometimes I like stories about vampires and ninjas and teenagers with weird names and social anxiety. Literary fiction is fine and all, but let’s face it, genre fiction is way more fucking fun and that is why I chose “fiction” over “short stories.” 

65 Questions You Aren’t Used To

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

If I’m going to be brutally honest, sometimes. Hell, sometimes I even question my own existence but I guess that’s just the depersonalization aspect of anxiety talking. 

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

With 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest, I’d say I’m at about a 3? I’m not as afraid of the dark as I used to be, but it’s situational. If I’m alone and it’s dark, then I get panicky because my awareness is impaired and I’m admittedly a very visual person so if I can’t see and I suspect there’s something going bump in the night, I’m going to freak out. Even hearing something, even when logically I know exactly what it is, freaks me out because I can’t know for sure unless I’m looking straight at it but if it’s dark, I can’t do that. I prefer to sleep when it’s like fully dark, though. I even used to wear a sleep mask to help with that and because the feeling of something soft over my eyes was comforting??? I don’t know, like I can sleep perfectly fine with the lights on, too, and sometimes if my anxiety is bad that’s what I’d prefer to make things easier on myself but for the most part, I guess it’s situational. I also feel like this is an appropriate place to say I have a duck nightlight in my bathroom, which doesn’t really have anything to do with being afraid of the dark so much as darkness in general but I also have a thing for rubber ducks so having a rubber duck nightlight is very on brand and I love it. 

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Probably my boyfriend. He’s the one whose always here anyways. If not him, then from my mother but I don’t particularly want to think about her right now because I’m kind of upset with her so we’re just going to go ahead and say my boyfriend. 

Sensory Asks

[sight]

1. favourite colour(s)?

Red is my top fave, and has been since I was three. I think it was when I got a red VW Beetle for my Barbie dolls that I really fell in love with the color. All the accessories that came with it were red plastic and looking at them just filled with me a lot of energy and joy, which I later realized I felt whenever looking at red in general. It also helps that I can now make the joke whenever I’m asked this question that I love red “like the blood of my enemies,” which is always fun. 

2. least favourite colour(s)?

I’m really not a fan of yellow, chartreuse, and tan/beige. I can handle yellow in certain instances like with sunflowers or lemons or sunshine related stuff, but I prefer gold over straight up yellow. I don’t dislike yellow nearly as much as tan/beige, though. That one I can also handle in certain instances but for the most part, it reminds me of a time I got sick as a kid so looking at it for too long brings back that nausea. Chartreuse is the end-all, be-all of the colors I’m not big on, though. It just...reminds me of snot. It feels really unappealing to look at for me, too. 

[smell]

12. favourite scent?

Clean laundry, hands down. I love nothing more than the smell of fresh laundry, like sometimes I’ll catch myself literally sitting at my laptop sniffing my shirt because I love the smell so much. It’s just so comforting, and I think that’s because it reminds me of this doll I’ve had literally since birth. I called her Baby Doll and she was just a basic baby doll with a plastic head and cloth body that my grandmother got from Avon and I was so damn attached to it as a kid. I brought Baby Doll everywhere with me, even in my backpack on my first day of preschool. I slept with her for way longer than I’d like to admit, too. But she smelled like fabric softener, and when I was a little kid and was having bad anxiety attacks (which I’ve been dealing with since I was three), I would hug her really close and the smell was just really comforting. So now I have to get it from my own laundry because I still own Baby Doll, but I’m a grown-ass adult and she’s very fragile now (and also currently in storage for safe-keeping). So yeah, clean laundry hands-down. 

Fashions Asks

1. What season has your favorite looks?

Fall! I’m such a sucker for big cozy sweaters and jeans. Back to school fashion lowkey excites me, too, and besides: I feel like it’s a lot easier to find appropriate outfits for my personal fashion sense that fit cooler weather than the seventh circle of hell 106-degree-heat-index I’m currently living in. I adore oversized sweaters, leggings, skinny jeans, combat boots, creepers, hoodies, layers, all that good stuff but you can’t do that when you feel like you’re dying of heat stroke even standing in front of the fridge butt naked. Not that I do that, but it’s hot enough here that I could if I wanted to. That’s not an issue in fall, though, which is super fucking nice. I just really love being cozy all the time always. 

2. Formal or casual?

Casual! As much as I love the look of formal clothes, I am chronically ill. I am anxious. I am depressed. I want to be comfortable all the damn time, and I just can’t be genuinely comfortable in formal clothes. For example, I attended my cousin’s wedding last spring and wore these really cute Mary Jane heels that I love. They fit my aesthetic and make my legs look great, too, if I say so myself. I was able to get through the ceremony with them on but after the fact, they started getting so damn uncomfortable that I went to the car and changed into my ratty five year old combat boots like a total punk because comfort. At least they still looked good with the dress I was wearing, though, so that’s a plus. 

12. What fashions do you hate?

Okay, I feel like a lot of people might get on my case about this but I really can’t stand Birkenstocks. They just...look like what your overbearing uncle would wear with socks to the summer barbecue to me. I don’t know, in certain cases they’re at least fitting for a certain look and I commend the people who can pull them off but as for me? I just can’t wrap my head around them. I dislike them even more than Crocs, which I am also not a fan of. But then again, like...I’m also not big on today’s fashion trends in general. There are some things I do like, like oversized t-shirts with leggings especially if they’re a band t-shirt, and those cute Japanese uniform style pleated skirts (I admittedly own one and I love it). The whole ethereal quirky pastel modern grunge e-girl shit, though, just doesn’t vibe much with me. My fashion sense is more on par with Luanna Perez’s alternative looks and the 2007-2012 era of the emo/scene style, as well as some pastel goth, genuine 90′s grunge, and kawaii/lolita inspired stuff. Like I will gladly tease the hell out of my hair, add in extensions and coontails and a little pink bow, and throw on a pink polka dot dress with fishnets and creepers or something. I don’t know, I just feel really disconnected from what’s considered trendy in today’s fashion sense. Maybe it’s because I tried so hard for so many years to fit what was in style despite it not feeling genuine to who I was personally, that now that I’ve finally mustered enough confidence to leave the house wearing what makes me happy even if it is unorthodox and alternative (like black lipstick!!!), I just can’t get on board with what everyone else is doing. Sure, I feel a little weird dressing like it’s ten years ago when everyone else is walking around wearing like those dinky crop tops that say “I have no tits” or have like applique roses on them or whatever and anything else that’s considered modern on-trend but like...in the wise words of Kurt Cobain, “I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I’m not.” I’m tired of trying to fit the status quo and doing what everyone else is doing. If I want coontails and snake bites in 2019, then goddammit I’m gonna go for it (though not gonna lie, the 20NINESCENE craze has me crying because I regret not having “the phase” in middle school that everyone else did so much sometimes that it’s physically painful so to think that there are still people out there rocking the thick side fringe and heavy eyeliner and the RAWR MEANS I LOVE YOU IN DINOSAUR shit makes me feel like maybe I’ve been given a second chance to be true to myself and become a part of a community that means something to me, rather than what I was actually doing in middle school being dragged through the mud trying to redeem myself of some sense of popularity because I was losing my best friend to the alpha female clique mentality and I was so damn unhappy, I legit had a breakdown in her pool about it once so you bet your ass I’m going to say screw it and do everything I wanted to back then now that I actually have the confidence and stopped caring what people thought about me.) 

[eldritchsurveys]

o27.

// Random Survey Questions // By: @x-hallie-x // What was the last thing you spent a lot of time thinking about? >> Keahi, my Watcher (player character) in the Pillars of Eternity series. I was just imagining the differences between em in the first game and em in the second game, and also imagining em being sexy-flirtatious with Xoti (a character in the second game), because I’m a thot.

What do you think about astrology/the zodiac? If you used to believe/not believe in it, what changed your mind? >> I think astrology is neat. I used to hate it because all I knew about it were people saying that Geminis are two-faced and manipulative and all this other shit, and I got tired of hearing insults about me based on some arbitrary star shit (as I thought at the time). But one of my friends got me into astrology by telling me about the cool shit like natal charts and gradually I got into it. Now I’m like “don’t talk to me unless you did your birth chart ;D ;D” (honestly it’s just FUN and I really relate to what my own birth chart tells me, and I’m not going to let fun-sucking people ruin it for me).

What is one conspiracy you believe in? Or one you think is total crap? >> I don’t know... I don’t really believe in any, per se, like whole-heartedly. I just think a lot of them are interesting. I also don’t know much about any, because I never did much research into them. The geo-engineering thing sounded interesting to me because that reminds me of terraforming in science fiction and stuff, and also the X-Files-esque idea of alien conspiracies as coverups for more insidious experiments and what not? That’s pretty cool. I just think conspiracies are cool from a, like... storytelling perspective, if that makes sense.

Where was the last place you traveled to and what did you do/who did you go with? >> I went to Chicago for my birthday weekend at the end of May, with Sparrow. I went to the Shedd Aquarium, the Adler Planetarium, and the Museum of Science and Industry, and Navy Pier, and I also ate a lot of food and drank a lot of cocktails. And I got to meet my friend Loki in person after being mutuals for years! It was great.

Where was the last place you didn’t want to go but had to anyway? >> I can’t remember.

If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be? >> I mean, I’m pretty happy doing what I’m doing right now, and I don’t want to poke at that too hard and make myself dissatisfied for no reason.

What made you pick up the last book you read? Are you glad you did? >> The last book I finished was Dune Messiah, and I picked it up because I’d read the first book and wanted to keep going. Yeah, I’m glad, it’s an interesting series.

When was the last time you yelled/screamed and why? >> I don’t remember, I rarely do that.

Why is your greatest fear your greatest fear? >> I’m not sure. I think I went todash one too many times and I came back with a set of anxieties as a souvenir. I never used to get all up in my brain about death, in fact I never understood people who were anxious about it at all. And now it’s my thing. I don’t like it, but I guess I have to live with it, and I’m doing my shitting best.

What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice? >> I’m not sure? I have a hard time remembering stuff like this.

If you could have any animal as a pet (in a magic universe where wild animals can be tame or something!) what animal would you choose? >> A DRAGON. A WHOLE ASS DRAGON. Fuck it.

What Hogwarts house are you in? What do you think about the “stereotypes” regarding your house? >> I’m a Slytherclaw! I used to get annoyed at unnecessarily negative Slytherin stereotypes but like... meh, whatever. The whole House system is based on stereotypes in the first place, so that’s to be expected. 

What is your favorite song to sing? How about dance to? Do the DO to? >> I’m going to pick random favourites since I don’t have just ONE favourite anything, haha. To sing: Some Time Ago... by Dethklok To dance to: This Corrosion by Sisters of Mercy To get freaknasty to: Some Kind of Stranger by Sisters of Mercy

What is something you want to do, but you don’t think you’ll ever be able to? >> I’d like to live in a community, like a real community where people know and support one another, and share things, and look out for each other’s children, and make you feel like you belong to them. I just... I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll ever have that.

Have you ever given something up for another person? >> Sure, I mean, I can’t think of any examples right off the top of my head, but I’m pretty sure that’s happened before.

What was wrong with you the last time you felt sick? >> Drank too much, probably.

What is something about your personality that you hope never changes? >> I hope I’m always curious about things and eager to learn.

If you could be famous/known for something, what would you want it to be? >> I really don’t know.

Do you prefer to watch movies with other people or by yourself? >> I like watching movies with other people! But sometimes people’s movie rules don’t match up with mine (like, I don’t mind people talking during movies unless they’re really deep ones and I need to concentrate... but a lot of people don’t want any talking at all, and that’s too much for me). And sometimes people are like... just no fun to watch movies with, you know the kind of person, where they complain about everything or say “that looks so fake lol” or stuff like that? Buzzkills. Fuck that. But! other than that, sure, I like to watch with other people. It’s fun.

What, if anything, are you trying to change about yourself? >> I’m not really trying to change anything, more trying to adapt to myself and be kinder and more patient to myself. Trying to live by example, yanno. And also I’m just tired of struggling with myself, lmao.

How would you describe your soul (old, young, wise, like some sort of animal, flower, etc)? >> I’m a Singularity! The infinite fathomless unknown core of a supermassive black hole, which could be anything from a single point of pure light to a silent void to an entire universe in its own right. The fact that we (humanity) don’t know what’s inside of a black hole makes it an infinity of possibilities (and I think that’s what it is anyway, not just ONE THING or THIS OTHER THING, but all things -- the Prim, the primordial soup, taking shapes when observed but otherwise purely infinite), and that’s me!

Where were you when you first listened to your favorite song? Did it become a favorite immediately or later on? >> Hmm... well, I know I was in New Orleans when I first heard Volbeat’s A Broken Man and the Dawn, which is one of my favourite songs. It did become a favourite immediately.

When was the last time you were embarrassed? >> I don’t remember. It’s not something that sticks, which is what I tell myself when I do get embarrassed -- I’m literally going to forget about it in a day, so no point dwelling on it. ...I think that’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, though. If I don’t dwell on it, then I don’t form memory anchors, which is why I forget about it in a day. Ha! Brain: HACKED

When was the last time you felt especially good about yourself? >> Probably either the last time Hallie said something nice about me :’) or the last time Can Calah said something about his observations of me over time.

What was the last thing you ate? Would you have preferred something else? If so, what? >> I ate a veggie burger with spinach on it, and sweet maui onion chips. Also, it took me like four tries just now to remember how to spell “maui”, for some reason, lmfao. And nah, I was cool with that.

The last time you drank alcohol, what were you doing/who were you with? >> I drank a glass of Rosé yesterday because it was World Rosé Day. That’s an improvement, because usually I just drink the bottle lmfao but nope, just that one glass, and it took me like 2 hours to finish it! This is going better than I expected. I have decided not to drink again until Wednesday (because Wednesday, yanno), and I already set out what I’m going to drink that day and I’m not going to deviate from it. If you want to help hold me accountable, here’s what I chose: one (1) bottle of Backwoods Bastard and one (1) glass of 1000 Stories wine. That’s my limit! Anyway, back to the actual question -- I was just hanging out at home with Sparrow tumblin’ and watching Parts Unknown.

What kind of a drunk are you? >> A... talkative one? A giggly one? A maudlin one, oftentimes. I know the big thing is that people drink to forget their emotional stuff, but I drink to access it.

What’s the most fun you’ve ever had on a drug/trip? >> Oh, man, I don’t even know. There have been a lot of fun trips. So many. One time we took dex and went walking around the Upper West Side and ran into this band performing on the street and they said if you give them a word they’ll make up a song about it on the spot and Sigma said “otters” and Crystal said “threesomes” and so they made up a song about otter threesomes. I’ve seen and felt so much of the pure ridiculous amazingness of NYC while tripping that I can’t even process it all.

What’s the most dangerous or risky thing you’ve ever done? Did you enjoy it or regret it? >> I guess the times I’ve shipped myself across state lines to live with people I’d met online and never before seen in person until then. Like, you know, you hear the horror stories. But nothing close to that has ever happened to me.

From how far up have you fallen/jumped before? >> I threw myself down a flight of stairs once. On purpose. I was also todash, so. (I was completely fine after, physically. Yeah, I don’t know how, either.)

Other than this survey, what was the last thing to get on your nerves? >> THIS SURVEY IS BOMB WHAT DO YOU MEAN Uh... hmm. I don’t remember. :/a

What was the last thing to make you laugh? >> I don’t remember but I also just thought about BZONKED and started laughing again.

What is an inside joke you have between you and a friend/etc? >> Well there’s BZONKED and HOT GATORADE and also hey Hallie remember skagit... >:3

What was the last new thing you learned? >> I don’t remember.

How would you describe your blog content? Do you only reblog specific things or does anything go? >> My personal blog is just... stuff I love, I guess, and stuff I care about. But like, there’s stuff I love that I have other blogs for, specifically -- oedonvevo is for memes and shitposts and fandom overflow (stuff that I like but don’t necessarily want to clog my main blog with); and oedon is for my RPG fandom stuff, my OCs and headcanons; and fuzzbones is for cute shit. And this, of course, is for surveys.

When was the last time you left somewhere for forever (or at least don’t plan on returning)? >> I guess when I moved out of New York two years ago.

What is the most destructive thing you’ve done? >> I’m not sure.

What was the last big decision you made? Do you think you made the right choice? >> Psst this one’s a repeat question! ;D

What video game are you playing now? Do you prefer to play alone or with others/multiplayer games/online games? >> I’m playing like 48479837 at once, tbh. Nah, actually, right now I have World of Warcraft, Elder Scrolls Online, Final Fantasy XIV, Guild Wars 2, Pillars of Eternity, and Mass Effect Andromeda (which I feel like I’m NEVER going to finish) going. I also have save files on Torchlight II, Skyrim, Oblivion, Torment: Tides of Numenera, and a couple of others that I sometimes go back and poke around on. I just really love my video games, lmao. And I prefer to play by myself, because I have a low sense of confidence in my ability to play well with others. But as you can see, I also play four different MMOs, so I’m slowly learning how to get over my lack of confidence and just... ignore the assholes and look for the friendly people.

What was the last thing you found? >> MY SANITY yeah just kidding that’s still lost and I ain’t lookin for it

When will you be going out again and where? >> I’m not sure, actually.

Do you prefer to stay at home or do you like to be out and about? Where are your favorite places to go? >> I love to go out and about, but I... really don’t like where I live, unfortunately, so it’s a real downer. I spend a lot of time beating myself up about it, and I’m trying to stop, but you know... old habits. Also, like, I’m used to living in a big city, a big multicultural city, lived in one for most of my adult life, and it’s a hard adjustment, still. I don’t know how to meet people or do things here, nothing makes sense to me. And I feel culturally alienated as fuck. So, you know. I mostly just stay home. :/

Generally (or specificially, hell idc) what would you like your dream life to look like? >> I don’t really have a dream life, I just know I would like to live in a city again -- ideally New Orleans. And I want to have meatspace friends along with my internet friends! And I want to have money to travel.

When was the last time something about your life changed drastically/what happened? >> I guess the biggest recent change is getting back with Hallie, although like... you know how sometimes a big change happens and it should feel more strange, but it... isn’t? Like, I don’t want to diminish how big of a thing this is, but it also kind of just feels... comfortable enough that it doesn’t shake up my life a whole lot. There are things to adjust to, but they’re not like SUPER HARD OMG adjustments or anything, in fact they’re probably pretty helpful to my growth as a person, so I’m cool with them.

What is one talent you wish you had? What about one you are working on? >> Hmm. I’m not sure. I like the skills I have. :3 I guess I’m constantly working on my gaming skills, and I tend to think that I’m not improving but if you look back over the past 6 or so years, I have definitely improved. I can’t even deny that to myself. So that’s good!

What makes you feel “not good enough”? >> Thinking about employment.

What was the last thing you quit? >> I didn’t quit drinking, but I quit drinking the way I was drinking. 

What is one drug you want to try? With who/where? >> Shrooms, but I’m also... well, you know, after all the going-todash and whatnot, I’m understandably anxious about it. But I’d like to try it with a friend who is experienced with them and will do them with me, and a friend who will be sober and kinda just looking out for us (me especially lmao). That would be the ideal situation.

Has any movie totally freaked you out? What’s the craziest movie you’ve ever watched? >> District 9 did, but that was because I had been up for 4 days straight and my understanding of reality was starting to shit itself anyway. The craziest movie I’ve seen is probably Antichrist, or A Serbian Film, for two different reasons. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus was also pretty wild, and so was Mirrormask. And let’s not discount Sunshine...

What is something you don’t like to do alone? >> Drugs.

What about something you only like to do alone (like, something besides the expected things)? >> I’m not sure. It’s really just the expected things. Most things I don’t like to do with just anyone, but that doesn’t mean I only want to do them by myself, either.

What is something you find difficult that many others do not? >> Employment.

When was the last time you smiled and why? >> I don’t remember. I don’t really notice when I do, all the time.

Do you like to help people? How about animals? Which would you rather help, if it applies? >> I guess so, yeah. Like, it’s not a huge impulse of mine or anything, but generally I’d prefer to be helpful than to be apathetic or hurtful. Although sometimes those other two things happen too, since I’m... a whole person and not just an archetype of one. Anyway, I’m probably biased towards humans, because... I am one, I guess. I don’t know. I like animals and I respect them, but what little affective empathy I have is reserved for people. It’s not an infinite resource, unfortunately. 

What was the last thing you wasted? >> I don’t remember. Probably water, like running the faucet or something.

What was your last purchase?  >> The two Zeal & Ardor albums off Amazon!

As an adult, what is the most & least you’ve weighed? >> 145, I’d say, and 110.

Who was the last person to leave your life and what caused this to happen, if anything? >> Sigma. It’s... well, it really is a long story, and I’m guessing it’ll get told in pieces over the course of survey-taking, but telling it in one shot is nigh impossible. There’s a lot of fucking shit to unpack.

What was the last compliment you recieved? Insult? >> The last compliment... probably from Hallie, in a survey, haha. I don’t remember the last insult.

What did you order at the last restaurant you went to? >> The last place I ordered food at was Wendy’s and I got a chicken sandwich and fries.

When you are sad/etc, what kinds of things help you feel less shitty? >> Funny/cute TV shows, music, stuffed animals (stim therapy in general, like wrapping up in a blanket or finding a way to pressure-stim or doing repetitive motion), people doing silly shit or memes (that depends, though, sometimes it doesn’t get through to me but sometimes it does!), sitting outside on a sunny quiet day for a little bit, watching animals doing animal things, eating a good food (especially if someone brought it for me).

What’s the latest you’ve stayed up this past week? Latest you slept in? >> I haven’t stayed up late at all! I’ve been going to bed at midnight and it’s been working pretty well so far. The latest I’ve slept was to about 10a but that was also because I got woken up in the middle of my sleep so my REM cycle and shit was all thrown off.

Is there anything you feel like you have to do every single day or its not complete? >> Hmm... a survey ;D lmao I don’t know

What was the last chore you did? >> I don’t remember.

What is causing the most stress/anxiety in your life right now? Will this situation end/resolve soon? >> Nothing specific, just like... feelings of personal doom and stuff like that, nothing logical, just... todash leftovers, I guess. I hope it resolves soon, but I’m afraid I might just have to... live like this. :T I wonder if there’s a like... chill anti-anxiety med I can take sometimes or something.

When you think about outer space, what thoughts/feelings come to mind? >> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is the most immature thing you do (or laugh at)? >> I laugh at stupid sex jokes all the time. Like, the stupider the better. “hurr hurr bone” that sort of thing.

Have you ever intentionally hurt someone? >> Yeah. I’m a sadist and I’ve known at least one masochist, soooo.... ;p But if you mean like.... in a mean nonconsensual way, maybe? I don’t remember any specific times, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t ever.

What was the last lie you told? Did anyone notice? Did you feel bad? >> I don’t remember. I don’t really have much use for lies. 

When was the last time you went to the doctor? >> February or so.

Have you ever been in therapy? If so, what did you think of the experiences? >> Yes, and now I’ve got all this NEW trauma to unpack! THANKS, THERAPY!!!

What kinds of clothing do you like to wear? >> Oh, a bunch. I just don’t feel like... comfortable in everything, you know? Like even stuff I like! I like it on other people, or I like it in the store, but when I put it on it’s just Wrong. I’m either the wrong height or the wrong weight or my features don’t fit the look or I’m too ungainly in it or... I don’t know. Meh.

What is something you like that no one else you know likes too? >> I mean, I know a lot of people (online lol), so... yeah, I don’t think there’s anything like this.

What is something you don’t like that everyone seems to like? >> Napoleon Dynamite. I just didn’t like it, but it’s not like... a big deal or anything. Sometimes you just don’t like things. I just think it’s funny that I can’t think of anyone else who doesn’t like it.

Do you judge other people based on the foods they eat? >> Nah. Life is short, brah. Eat up (or don’t? hehe).

Do you follow a particular diet/meal-plan/ethic? >> No, I think the closest thing to a “diet” that I’d like to follow is the Mediterranean diet, but that’s because I love Mediterranean food and the whole food culture and everything. It’s really just about what makes me feel good to eat, what I enjoy seeing on a plate, what just speaks to me, and that’s it.

Are you involved in politics or do you tend to avoid them? Is there a reason for this? >> I tend to avoid them, because I don’t know shit about shit and while I care about specific things (like, I think I should be able to live without facing violence because of some aspect of my identity, yanno), I don’t.... I don’t really have enough rage to like... be an activist or anything. I support people who are fighting for these things! I just... it’s not my thing. And actual politics, like who’s in government? I just assume they’re all corrupt -- not because they’re bad people, but because they’re caught in this sticky web of a system where you’re forced to be ruthless and conniving and two-faced and like... after a while it becomes normal for you. I would hate to be a politician, because no matter how you start out, you either end up dying or living long enough to see yourself become the villain. That’s just how it is. :c

What is a subject you tend to avoid with other people, for whatever reason? >> Religion. Because inevitably someone’s going to start talking about how all religion is bad, and then I’ll have to leave. (But like, my friends and SOs are fine! I actually love talking about religion with people that are into it the way I am, like it’s a big special interest of mine and I am so excited when I run into people who enjoy talking about religion and culture and mythology and how important it all is to being human. I even like talking to people who have become disillusioned with organised religion and have ideas about how they’d like it to be, or even just people who have the same religious traumas I have and are trying to cope. But like... well, you know. Some People, lmao. Can’t talk about shit with them.)

When was the last time you changed your mind about something? What made things change? >> I don’t remember, but listen, I’m a Gemini, I change my mind all the time.

If there was a colony on Mars and you could actually feasibly go live there, would you want to? >> HELL YEAH WTF THAT’D BE DOPE AS SHIT but like can I have dual citizenship because I also love Earth and I wouldn’t want to leave it forever-forever :’(

What kinds of things make you homesick, or do you get homesick very much? >> Photos of Jackson Square or the Mississippi River, zydeco music, certain foods and smells, a bag of Zapp’s from Potbelly, Purple Haze beer, certain songs in my library... and yeah, I get homesick all the time. It’s a real problem.

What is the longest (or most involved) thing you’ve ever written? >> I wrote a story that’s still up on deviantART, called Once Thought Damned, and it’s basically really derivative of the kind of books I was into back then (paranormal erotic romance), but I also still really love those characters and the stories I was trying to tell in my fumbling “haven’t found my voice yet” sort of way, and I still think about them all the time. But yeah, I think it’s... at least 50k words long, and took me a few years to finish. So I’m proud of that.

If you could choose, would you be yourself or someone else? >> I don’t know what it’s like to be anyone but me, so how could I choose? Hell, selfhood is weird enough as it is without this question messin me up xD

What is something you really like - it could be anything - just gush! >> Oh, I would gush, but also I need to conserve my energy, this is a long survey! ;D

What about something you just can’t stand, a pet peeve, a resentment, etc? >> I really don’t like when people make fun of people for being excited about things. It doesn’t matter what the thing is. I just... I really don’t like that. You don’t have to like whatever it is, but just... don’t fucking piss on their parade, okay? No one asked for your downer ass opinion anyway.

What is the highest elevation you’ve been to? >> I don’t know! I guess it was probably someplace in Colorado, though.

What do you think of love? >> I think it’s fascinating. I think I don’t understand it most of the time, and that’s okay too. I think sometimes that love is the exact nature of the willful force that shapes reality. I think it’s something science should leave to the poets and mystics, although science never will, because that’s the nature of science, and that’s... actually okay, too.

What is one food you used to like but no longer do? >> Cosmic Brownies. I used to eat them a lot because they’re cheap and calorie-dense and when you’re on food stamps that’s pretty great. But... god. GOD. I could gag just thinking about them, now.

How would you describe your eating habits? >> I don’t know that I can! I try to eat as well as possible but I also try not to give into neurosis about it (that uh... orthorexia? is that what it’s called? that’s a hole that’s really fuckin easy to fall into). I try to enjoy what I eat. I try to go for variety and colour and fun arrangements and weird combinations. I try to show love for myself by eating things that make me feel good.

Do you prefer to live with others or by yourself? Why is this? >> I prefer to live with others because I’m crazy, and I spiral downwards really quickly by myself. I depend on others to keep me grounded, because I’m not exactly fully... In Reality(tm). I also have a lot of, uh... like, weird autistic issues like the idea of cleaning bathrooms making me want to scream and claw my skin off, so it’s nice to live with someone who doesn’t have those issues and is willing to do it for me. Also, I literally cannot afford to live by myself, so, you know.

What scares you about getting older? >> The idea of infirmity isn’t a fun one. I’ve been spoiled by having a healthy body all these years, the idea of the slow decline is therefore unnerving. But I think I can handle that, realistically, I just... fear(tm). Also, of course, I’m afraid I’ll never stop being anxious about death. I want to know that I’ll have enough time to come to terms with it.

What is one thing you find attractive? >> Vulnerability. (Which is probably at the root of a lot of my kinks, like desperation and shit.)

Who did you last tell a secret to? Or just sensitive info? >> lmao I told Hallie who the person was that I had a crush on but didn’t want to mention in the survey I’d taken. :p

What kind of blogs do you follow? >> Man I follow almost 900 blogs, I don’t even know where to begin. (I used to follow around 1200, so that’s actually a conservative number for me.)

Have you made any good friends online? How long have you known them? >> Sure, I suppose I could say that. I’ve had some mutuals for anywhere from 6 months to like 4+ years. And there’s Elle, who I’ve known since my VF days, so since 2009. Almost ten years!

What is something really weird/embarrassing that you’ve done? >> I tried to use one of those menstrual cup things once and then I couldn’t get it out and I had a meltdown in the bathroom and Sigma had to come take it out for me. That’s the first thing that came to mind, lmao. I fucking hate those things with a violent passion and I will never use one again.

What about something you’ve done that sounds too wild to believe? >> I had a one-night stand with Aur-elio Vol/taire. (I put the slash and dash in to keep his name out of searches, lmao.)

What does it mean to you to trust someone? >> I guess that I give them the tools to hurt me with the faith that they won’t use those tools in that way (not intentionally anyway -- so I also have the faith that if they do hurt me, it’s probably unintentional and I should at least give them a chance to explain themselves). Or something like that.

What was the last thing you drank? >> Water.

What’s the weather doing where you are? >> It’s cool and cloudy.

What was the last thing to go completely wrong? >> Oh man I tried to make this fuckin flapjack cup microwave thing last week sometime and I put water in it instead of milk by accident and it just came out so bad. (It says water OR milk but let me tell you, it means JUST MILK, anything else is GROSS)

What kinds of things do you like to talk about? >> I can’t think of too many things I don’t like to talk about. I just don’t like to talk about some things with just anyone.

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for? >> I don’t remember. Probably Sparrow making fun of me for being a thirsty binch.

Name a book or movie from childhood that holds a special place in your heart? >> The Phantom Tollbooth.

What are some of your favorite words/word meanings? >> My mind is starting to melt lmao I don’t want to think this hard

When was the last time you procrastinated something? >> I procrastinated vacuuming and then I just straight up forgot to do it at all.

What mood/attitude do you tend to have when taking surveys, or does it vary? >> Usually I’m just... chill, like I usually am.

Has another survey-taker ever bitched you out for one of your answers?  >> Probably, in the past when the survey-taking crowd was a little more incestuous.

Have you ever bitched anyone out for theirs? >> No, that’s just rude.

How did you celebrate the most recent holiday? >> I don’t celebrate Memorial Day lmao fuck that it was MY BIRTHDAY and THAT’S IT

How does your birthday make you feel? >> Pretty good, usually.

How would you describe your relationship with your parents? Has it always been this way? >> I never knew my mother (she tried to visit a few times but she didn’t seem to want to know who I was, really, and I’m pretty sure at least one of those visits was just a ploy to try to get back in bed with my dad or something), and my relationship with my father has been tempestuous and not entirely great at times because he was not very compassionate and I was a seething bundle of traumas and emotional neglect but I still love and appreciate him. Unfortunately I’ve lost contact with him and I don’t know how to regain it, so that’s that, I guess.

What is the longest amount of time you’ve spent alone (or mostly alone, since this is the age of the internet and all, hah)? >> I’m not sure. I mean, I lived alone for almost a year (2009) with minimal outside contact and that was... hell... but like... normally I’m never alone for that long.

What was the last thing you asked for help with?  >> I don’t remember. But I finished this survey! It was very good. c:

[semiconducting]

okay so i wanna give my share of thoughts on wonder woman!!

spoilers under the cut lmao

alright so? holy shit first of all i absolutely loved it to death i was sitting there talking to my best friend who went to see it with me the entire time and just. screaming abt it honestly my mom told me to quiet down a couple of times lmao

so i suppose like it’s a very similar story to the 2009 animated film (though im sure this is kind of a staple plotline for wonder woman leaving themyscira and all, it’s been done a lot, it’s just a part of her story) except it was like. actually done well.

so to begin i really do love how they portrayed the amazons and themyscira, it was so beautiful and i loooove all the diverse women of all colours there. like it made my heart sing thank GOD. i do wish more of them had speaking roles, but i suppose i understand it being partially focused strictly on diana and her becoming a warrior or w/e between antiope’s encouragement and hippolyta’s dismay. but it would have been nice. i do wish to see more of the amazon mythos in films honestly because as entertaining as her adventures with the justice league and such are, i really want there to be more emphasize how crucial they are to who she is! she’s the child of the amazons my dude

also the island itself does remind me of living/touring in europe and i also really hope they based some of it off of turkish architecture? since themyscira is placed in turkey. but idk man.

the scenes with the germans coming to themyscira and how they portrayed the mirage/cloak/whatever was super cool, honestly. cheesy-ish but fun. i loved introducing steve and showing the amazons ready to fight. the bit with the first bullet killing one of them literally got a verbal reaction out of me and the battle was sooooo fucking COOL. as much as i hate war/brutal death scenes, just for my own reasons, it was quick and also just. really what it should have been.

antiope’s death really kinda pissed me off but i just am not a fan of death so early in a film to fuel a character idk. idk man. i guess i should’ve expected especially bc i recognized her tiara as the one diana wears so it. it was there.

i’m glad that she got a role, for sure, but ngl i thought she was supposed to be artemis at first and im kinda disappointed that artemis wasn’t. there. but i mean i love artemis so dsfjd

steve was genuinely good in this film. and i mean really, really good. i’ve never really liked steve trevor, a lot of the times because hes just a boring “charming” soldier (thinking dcau justice league) or a sexist, not-all-men type fucker (ww 2009) and just. ew. but in this film he was like, genuinely funny and sweet and really worth being the love interest. i love that he never took her naivety to take advantage of her, as simple a concept it sounds but it was something that made me smile especially because i just. tensed up at every opportunity that it could have happened. and it didn’t. bless.

the romance was so gradual, it wasn’t a priority, it didn’t take over the plot and the little bits were so cute and it was like? actually likable? holy shit

i REALLY loved doctor poison and god i wish she got so much more screentime than fucken. ludendorf? :/ but every scene with her was amazing i LOOOOVE her mask design and shit, i really wish we could’ve expanded more on her and i would soooo appreciate having just. extra scenes with more on her working/the experiments because that was SO fucked up and well done. a perfect placement for world war i, too, since chemical warfare a huge part of it and all

also i dig the wwi backdrop? wonder woman fighting in a world war is always something that i need in my wondy mythos, though i always figured it was world war ii because of the comics originating in that time period and whatnot.

it, however, was a great choice as a background for the grey-morality plotline, and showing that all sides of war are flawed. instead of world war ii, which, frankly, the nazis should and always should be seen as objectively bad from any standpoint, and standing against them is not.

but yes! grey-morality was very well done here and it’s great to pair with a newly-introduced-to-the-world wonder woman. like GOD i hate born-sexy-yesterday troped wonder woman because it is so so so easy to paint her that way, but just so wrong. she’s not stupid or clueless, and it bugs the hell out of me because it just. throws her as a man-hating violent “feminist” or w/e and just. hlfgh.

however they didnt do that here, while still keeping her naive to introduce that whole grey morality and choosing whats right for yourself, not because everyone is objectively good and one bad man can be stopped to save everyone. her innocence wasnt just because she was amazonian in “man’s world,” because she was shown to be naive and ideological with the amazons themselves as well. it made all the difference and settled one of my biggest fears for this movie

by the way! the clothes scenes and bits with etta were so cute! etta candy was ABSOLUTELY adorable and such a good part of the film, thank god.

also in general it was so pretty? the scenes were so well done and the cinematography was GORGEOUS especially the fight scenes. fuck man fight scenes are so good on the eyes. the choreography was great, i digged the occasional cartoony punch-drop bit? im sure theres a name for the trope but idk how to describe it. also i know so many people have issues with the slo-mo but honestly it didn’t bother me at all, it didn’t feel cheesy to me and i actually thought they did wonderfully by timing it right to place such good emphasis on it? also all the flips and take downs and fUCK man im jsut. oooo i cant wait to watch that again.

also the jumping on shields/that shingle the boys were holding up for her? good fuckin. fuck. AAAAAAAAAA

and goodness diana was so cute. her gasping and going “a babyyyy!!” made me smile oomg. and the ice cream bit. i love the wonder woman ice cream bit she’s so fucking cute. mhm. i love her constant protesting and not quieting the fuck down when steve was trying to reason with her, like she just. it’s so refreshing to see, yknow? and always proving everyone wrong and choosing to save everyone when she’s told she can’t. goooooood that’s a wonder woman i love.

her saving the village and all the celebration was adorable too. but it made the death all the more heartbreaking and just. :(

i’m so glad they made diana a bringer of peace, because any war-mongering wonder woman just isnt her in my books. like i dont mind her not having a no-kill rule? it is necessary sometimes. but she won’t perpetuate an unnecessary fight. war must be stopped. all that. yeah.

which brings me to ares. i feel like the plot twist could’ve brought more hints, because there was no indication that the peace-brokering brit should’ve been the god of war. it kinda made me just. :/ it was pretty clear ludendorf wasnt gonna be him, but i didnt like whatshisface to be ares. sure i dont mind the whole, he inspires war but doesnt control it i suppose, but to literally be a peace-advocate? kinda defeats his purpose imo.

also good guy zeus. lmfao. anyway

speaking of zeus fuck did i not enjoy diana ~ACTUALLY BEING THE DAUGHTER OF ZEUS~ i was afraid it would come and i was so sad to see them take being molded from clay away from her. it made me roll my eyes. stop doing this to her tbh let her not have a ~manly~ influence, tbh? like i just read someone else’s review that mentioned a better take would’ve been to make her an incarnate of athena and like. yeah? yeah. no look i want my wonder woman completely originating free of any man’s influence.

oo and also. the guys she ran around with. idk what to call them but sameer the chief and charlie. they were absolutely adorable, honestly? they were well rounded, enjoyable characters with depth and i appreciate them being flawed. best sidekicks she could have for this movie, tbh. i really REALLY enjoyed sameer being there, because shit! not a total translation but any bit of representation of a race similar to mine is greatly appreciated. also the over-exaggerated stereotype when they were sneaking into the party? great. loved it. made me laugh so hard. 

also they were REALLY daring with recognizing the whole, fuckin, white man taking from the native americans shit? damn. that was unexpected but appreciated. 

and charlie was cute, the whole singing part was so sweet a bit of his character and i love how they portrayed his ptsd. it’s ugly, it’s not poetic or anything, it’s very realistic and i love what they did with it.

also the music was absolutely beautiful and i lost my mind every time wonder woman’s theme came up. dude. good shit.

anyway i’ve run out of steam and coherence but it was a fantastic movie, 9.5/10, i definitely recommend going to watch it. it was such a satisfying way to finally place her on the big screen and just incredibly well done. bravo to everyone who was involved.

[theboykingofhell]

(acting anon from earlier!!) i read ur whole thing and its FILLED with rly good info ty!! im british and im looking to start getting into acting but i always shyed away from it in schools etc cause there's always be a dance side to it and :/ no ty id rather eat nails than dance ever. but im rly interested in the acting techniques n stuff u mentioned and id defo read as many posts abt it as u wanted to write :0 ty for your time!!

OK YEAH now that i actually have time and by that i mean i have no time there’s like three things i’m supposed to be doing rn but i want to stall starting them lmfao I’MMA TALK MORE ABOUT THIS RN

imma be real i cant remember all the things i mentioned in that post i wrote and i cant be bothered to go back and look so IF YOU EVER HAVE A SPECIFIC QUESTION LITERALLY ASK ME ANY TIME

oooooooooooh... yeah.. love... babe.... go to acting schools lol it’s not even JUST the fact that they literally teach you how to act but. you. need to network. god. especially since you ARE british, acting schools are very important because a lot of companies will pretty much hire you based on what school you went to. just the short amount of time i was there made this VERY obvious that it is VERY hard to get picked up by a company if you haven’t gone to school, and getting picked up by a company is how you get consistent theater work for YEEEEEEARS...!!! also, usually a school will give you a rly good chance to network by having some sort of showcase at the end where you can get in contact with a bunch of agents and the more famous the school, the more agents see your work and try and help you out!!!!

and, like... the whole dance bit is just a hurdle you’re gonna have to jump. it’s def rly important to just partipate in the classes, you don’t have to be GOOD but it gives you just that little bit of awareness over your body and your movement that you might not have had before and that’s rly important, especially on the stage!! i felt the same way about singing but, man, the more you work at it, the more mangeable it gets. and you don’t want to have this grudge on you forever because it’ll really limit your work :/

but i mean man you don’t actually have to, there’s no set way to become an actor! if you find work, you have that work, it doesn’t matter how you get there t b h. i just think it helps and the more skills you acquire, the better of a chance you have to get that work...

(i RLY suggest lamda, it’s a hard school get into but it’s one of the best if not the best and also the education is beautiful and ALSO lamda-trained actors get the most consistent work because the uk just nuts all over itself about lamda-trained actors)

BUT YEAH. ACTING TECHNIQUES. GONNA FINALLY ADD A CUT LOL

i’m only gonna talk about these vaguely cuz tbh i’m not as ~studied~ as i should be because i’ve been far too lazy until now to actually sit down and read acting textbooks but HERE’S THE GIST....

stanislavsky is like... pretty much the most well-known most taught acting technique. so many of the other techniques you learn BUILDS on his work. there’s a huge range of shit that he’s got to offer because his and later similar teachings are SO focused on realism (which tbh is a very new thing in acting), but some of the most important is stuff like emotional recall and objective work aaaaand character building by using yourSELF and projecting it onto the character. it’s a very psychological form of acting and it’s... MY BASIS but not actually my fave!

now, a lot of parts of it is very useful. emotional recall, for one, is SUPER nice. it’s a very good way to build that vulnerability up, tear down a lot of walls and explore how to summon emotions up....

my first exercise with stanislavsky, i remember them making us lie down and pretty much meditate, and then you listened as the teacher described a bunch of things: your favorite beach as a child and what it felt like, all these sensory memories about the smells and tastes and sights of the beach. and then it moved on to the night of your first kiss, your first love, and then your first loss. a nice basic range of basic emotions, and then you build on that.

stanislavsky (and stuff like uta hagan who wrote a RLY great book that i havent finished reading yet but it’s a GREAT way to rly build on the technique) rly encourages taking yourself and putting it into the character. SO!!!! if your character is going through their first break-up, summon the feelings and memories of your first break-up and push that into your lines, so on and so forth.

the big criticism with stanislavsky and all the techniques like them is that it COULD be very unhealthy for you... considering it’s all about reliving and reliving old memories. and i agree, i mean, one of my favorite plays and one of my monologues of choice for auditions is from a play where the main character is kidnapped and raped, and i’ve been kidnapped and raped before so i am CONSTANTLY and purposely triggering myself just to perform that monologue well. THAT AIN’T RIGHT! helps tho! 

(stuff like method acting falls under stanislavsky and his successors strasberg and stella adler, so....! you can see why not everyone fucks with it)

MY criticism about stanislavsky, which is why it doesn’t work as much for me, is that it’s very VERY heavily text-based. uhhh THIS IS LONG ALREADY SO SOMEONE SEND AN ASK ABOUT OBJECTIVES AND I’LL EXPLAIN but they want you to do a lot in the moment that makes it very distracting if you don’t have this process pinned down and that’s AGGRAVATING FOR ME ANYWAY

chekov is another technique that’s interesting, again not a fave but VERY helpful. this one builds character more from the outside in, it’s all about like... a lot of very subtle details that you can add to the background to add color to your performances. a lot of it is about atmospheres, attitudes, body language, and how that affects your character and how your character is thinking through the scene. it’s VERY reactionary and very fun because you don’t have to think NEARLY as much. 

pretty much you form... gestures, or moods for your characters, and instead of perfoming an ‘action’ (stanislavsky thingy, i’ll explain that in another post i guess), you’re using this ‘gesture’ to explain yourself. it is far FAR more abstract than stanislavsky, which is a lot more technique and exact, and it’s very vague, which does make it very hard for people. it also doesn’t stress realism like stanislavsky and company does, so it’s not as popular at the moment!

 meisner technique is my second favorite technique and kind of hard to explain because i haven’t rly gotten a comprehensive course in it yet besides a few workshops and activities, but it’s a technique that stresses STRESSES ‘listening’. that’s something you hear a lot as an actor, it’s one of the hardest things to really get but it’s also, truly, the essence of good acting. you can’t be a good actor if you don’t listen, because if you don’t listen, you’re not in the moment, and if you’re not IN the moment, you’re just... reciting lines!!!

it’s so hard to explain so i’mma link a cute video i just found because it shows a lot of variety and also shows the actors messing up a lot and it’s cute omfg

it focuses a lot of repetition (either of the same one line for each person or they’re both doing the same line back and forth) which forces the actor to not think about what’s being said but how it’s being said. you’re stuck in the moment because you KNOW what you’re gonna say, you don’t have to worry about saying anything else, all you gotta worry about is what the other person does and how you’re gonna react to it. if they suddenly start screaming in your face UHH YOU’RE GONNA SCREAM BACK HOW DARE YOU? and it’s automatic and SO natural and that’s why i love it, because you don’t have to THINK through it. you don’t rly think through your life like they make you do in other techniques, so i adore the ability to not have to do that on stage.

however i’ve never gotten far enough in the technique to find out how to apply it to a set script but it might just be about building that openness to just... DO and BE and let whatever happens happens, which is NICE

LAST THING THAT I’LL TALK ABOUT IS FUCKING GROTOWSKI YE  S. ok so a lot of techniques overlap, so by this i’m also talking about lecoq and peter brook’s acting techniques. it’s all physical theatre which is all about the GROTEQUE and like UGH there’s so many fascinating things honestly just google ‘theatre of cruelty’ because it’s FASCINATING

the emphasis is... not rly on realism altho the acting i’ve seen come out of it is the most realistic i’ve seen? it’s rly gritty and about accessing the most... EXTREME of emotions, it’s about rly grasping human nature and twisting it and bringing it on stage. peter brook especially (who has a book called the empty stage or something like that that i got to read) stresses that... theatre shouldn’t be about costumes and sets and whatever, it should be just about the actor, and that you can do a PERFECTLY GOOD show with a completely empty stage, with just the actor in the center.

it also has an emphasis on YANKING the audience into the show and being very interactive and like... nothing’s held back, it should be hard to watch, THEATRE SHOULD BE CATHARTIC AND FUCKED UP AND YES.

so physical theatre involves pulling emotions from the body through your movement. life isn’t just about the mind, after all, your body holds emotions through it, there’s chemicals and hormones and what your body does on its own and against other bodies and just. again, hard to explain so HERE’S SOME COOL VIDS THAT SHOWS DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES AND COMPARES THEM ALL

i lied there’s one more technique i wanna mention: it’s called alba emoting! it, again, builds on the idea that trying to access emotions through the brain is UNHEALTHY AND DANGEROUS and that you can, instead, try and access it through the body! how???? cuz emotions are PHYSICAL. you feel sadness and anger and love and whatnot in your gut and chest and through your head and all through every nerve in your body, right????? so why not try and mimic that for the stage???

it’s SUPER COOL because! what you do with alba emoting is: affix yourself a certain way. it involves certain body postures or positions, certain expressions sometimes... EVERY time it depends upon a different breathing pattern... and all you gotta do is do it. and your body doesn’t know better, it gets tricked into it...!

so, if i were to alba emote fear... it’s hard to describe through text rather than do it but this one might be the clearest one... part of the positioning is to have your hands up in front of you, as if you’re trying to ward someone off or shield yourself. you have your mouth open, you have your eyes stuck to the floor in a submissive sort of way, (there’s more that i cant describe but then) you start to make yourself hyperventilate by taking short, quick breaths through your mouth. after a few seconds of this, your body just starts SHOOTING adrenaline through you because it starts thinking WHOA SOMETHING BAD’S HAPPENING I’M AFRAID?FUCKFUCKFUCK

and that continues until you stop! you can stop at any time and then just go. you get left with a ‘residue’ (which is very chekov in nature in that it ‘colors’ your performance) where you can just act and do the lines and do your actions (stanislavsky) without worrying about needing to push any fear into yourself because it’s THERE, it’s PRESENT and whatever happens in the scene will either alliviate it or make it worse!!!

it’s a BEAUTIFUL way to prepare for a scene right before you go on stage too omg. last semester we were doing julius ceasar, and there was a scene where i had to play a servant who just witnessed a murder and just. go in and beg for my life and the life of my master. so i did the fear emote, and then my friend (playing my master at the moment) decided to talk to me in character and give me the order to throw myself in front of the murderers and LMFAO by the time i ran on there i was like fucking in tears i was so terrified HA

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE TOO IT’S SO FUN YOU JUST GOTTA GO AND SEE WHAT WORKS FOR YOU WHOO!!!!!! HOPE THIS WAS FUN AND HELPFUL YES

[terramythos]

Thoughts/reactions master post for October Daye #13 “The Unkindest Tide” or "major deja vu" 

Excellent Start: it fuckin opens with The Luidaeg showing up and dumping a bunch of lore

-There are some things to unpack here after thinking on it. The Roane predicted that Toby would bring them back. We knew already that they were seers and could predict the future. But this implies they did not predict their savior being Toby SPECIFICALLY, just someone from Amandine's line.

This is interesting for a couple reasons. First, it's a solid explanation for why The Luidaeg, the oldest and one of (if not the) most powerful Firstborn took interest in Toby, who's a changeling and thus beneath the notice of most of Faerie. On a related note, it's also an explanation on why Amandine was so keen on turning Toby into a human. The character who prevented this happening was, no surprise, The Luidaeg.

But while it appears Toby will indeed fulfill this prophecy, it's been implied if not outright stated that Amandine's line is also prophesied (probably by the Roane) to bring back Oberon. This is a wild guess, but I feel it makes more narrative sense and would be an interesting twist if we set Toby up to fulfill that prophecy, only to ultimately have August (or both of them as a team) do it. I'm pretty sure August is redeemable, unlike Amandine, and her character arc so far is based on trying to bring Oberon back and FAILING, so...

-I could be reading too much into this, but hey. I do think I should go back and read (1) The Luidaeg's short story where she confronts Amandine and (2) the scenes in book 5 where Toby talks to one of the few surviving Roane. Said Roane predicts Connor's death, but she says so much cryptic shit there may be something else hidden there relating to this.

...OH. OK. You know that makes a lot more sense. All the setup for this (which has been going on since book 5 lmfao) pointed to The Luidaeg being morally questionable and possibly evil in this one but like, this is way more in line with her character lmfao

Though I guess theres plenty that's morally questionable about forcing an entire race of people to turn into another one whether they like it or not

-Side note: The Luidaeg and Quentin's friendship remains adorable

-Gillian's magical signature is officially fennel and primroses.

-OK but like, we have to approach the fact that Gillain's skin is still basically sentient in some way? Like Firtha's consciousness is a big part of the short story. And can glean from that that the others probably have something to them. So uh, what happens to the souls (if you can call them that) when we fuse the skins to the Selkies?

New Firstborn?? New Firstborn! New Firstborn.

-ok so like correct me if I'm wrong but practically every Firstborn we met has been female. I think the only dude we've met is Blind Michael, who was a basket of crazy and Decisively Killed Off in book 3. Otherwise we've got The Luidaeg, Evening, Amandine, Acacia, and now Captain Pete.

The Luidaeg is such a fascinating character. One of my favorites from literally anything. This scene really exemplifies why I think. Seemingly cruel yet compassionate, coping with horrific tragedy, yet also a supernatural and terrifying monster. SORT OF. it’s complicated

-There's a scene after this where she verbally takes down an adult man, then is so kind and patient to a child who approaches her. And that contrast really hits. She has been consistently kind and protective of children through the whole series. It makes it more brutal when she says she doesnt even like them much because she misses having her own, and you know she can't lie. She's kind to kids because it is the right thing to so.

-Shit goes down in a bad way (seemingly unrelated to the main premise?). Like Dianda gets kidnapped by her evil brother whom we have not met before

SIMON TORQUILL REDEMPTION ARC IN THE FUTURE...... 2!

-Not to be rude October but like, werent you already planning to rescue Simon ANYWAY. That one's basically the freebie of those 3 favors you just promised

-ok I'm writing this part WAY LATER cause my dumb ass forgot that Simon returning is CONTINGENT upon bringing Oberon back and now this line makes way more sense. 

-little lore tidbit on why it's so easy to transform October and not the other characters... its the whole Tam Lin thing we figured out last book. Guess that should have been obvious

Not to be het rights on main but oh my god. Oh my fucking shit oh my god. (Its not really het rights cause tybalt is bi but oh my god holy shit)

-I am laughing at the fact this is a tense moment with lives on the line and an obvious time limit and Toby and Tybalt just go "time to make out a little in front of everyone"

-Lmao right after I typed that the Luidaeg basically said the same thing

-lmaoo she fuckin slices Tybalt's finger for his part of the spell then just does a tiny pinprick for Quentin because she likes him more 

-random interlude in the Undersea where toby rescues Peter

Ok Quentin's reaction here is funny

This scene's got a little bit of everything

Explanation on why Gillian can talk to her skin, since it's a "lost" one and hasn't been worn much. Also sort of an explanation for the Luidaeg calling the skins by name.

-anyway it's pretty obvious that Dianda's brother is the one behind Isla's murder, right? Like, why else introduce him at this point

-"maybe sending The Luidaeg to find Pete has been the wrong call" I'm starting to feel that way to be honest

-Yeah Torin being responsible is confirmed. There’s a scene where Toby gets badly injured and it’s borderline torture porn, which seems to happen once a book now. There is a cute somewhat angsty scene with her and Tybalt, which is always fun.

-There's some fun bits when they take down Torin but nothing particularly noteworthy. The interactions with Pete and The Luidaeg are fun when both return to the scene. I'm trying real hard to like Gillian but she's been pretty ineffectual this book, and every time she shows up it seems to be whining about Toby, which is a shame.

Luidaeg feels and The Moral, which is pretty good! Found family is a reliable weak point of mine.

-They do find an alternate solution (splitting the “dead” skins), and everyone who wants a Selkie skin gets it. They also let some of them stay Selkies for a few more years, but most get turned into Roane. And happy Luidaeg! 

-Though the whole “Gillian has a sentient selkie skin” is not addressed again and she’s the first one who gets turned. did Firtha/her ghost just get annihilated from existence? i don’t know man 

-Overall I'm pretty lukewarm over this entry. Like Once Broken Faith, it feels like a book made to Address a Big Lore Change but doesn’t have a solid conflict to support it. Torin is some one-off Merrow dude i’m pretty sure is never mentioned until he suddenly shows up and is the bad guy here, and the whole kidnapping Dianda and long interlude in the middle where they go to the Undersea to rescue Peter seems just... really random, considering the setting (Duchy of Ships) and the Selkies are supposed to be the center of the story.  

Nothing wrong with one-off villains, but ones like Blind Michael and Rhys were way more memorable/interesting than Torin. This just felt way too much like the randos from Once Broken Faith who were just villains cause someone had to be. can’t even remember their names or their motivations 

It's a shame cause there are some things I did really like in this novel. There’s some good character development. Captain Pete was cool (even if the conclusion basically writes her back out of the story). But imo this book should be a big Luidaeg entry and she's absent for like 70 percent of the book, which doesn’t help 

I guess what I'm saying is this would have been fine as a novella if there wasn’t a big novel-defining conflict to use. January’s resurrection was done in a novella and that’s pretty damn major, Lore-wise. 

I cant complain too much, cause the last 2 books knocked it out of the park. But I hope the next one feels more relevant.

-One thing I do want to mention (which I didn’t picture anywhere) is there is a lot of cryptic shit in this entry surrounding... Marcia of all people? Captain Pete and The Luidaeg both seem inordinately interested in her. And she seems very nervous when they speak to her and ask her questions and says a bunch of weird cryptic shit. I think this is setting up for something with her, but I’m not sure what. We basically know none of her backstory, which is unusual for a character who’s been in the series since book 1, so it wouldn’t be out of place to explore her more. I do think there’s something up with her birth/heritage. We know she’s a mostly human changeling (like only 1/4 fae?) but she’s very involved in the fae stuff, which is unusual. We don’t even know what the 1/4 is and the main character is literally a bloodhound for that sort of thing. 

-Anyway, there’s a novella at the end of this one called "Hope is Swift" starring Raj. So we'll see how that is!

-I like it so far. Lots of Cait Sidhe lore. The premise is that Raj gets hit by a car in cat form and then taken in by a vet and mistaken for an actual cat. There's also a they/them nb side character named Cal. 

-Overall I did enjoy the novella. Not a lot goes down but there’s good Cait Sidhe lore and character development for Raj. We also got to formally meet Ginerva, who was a character in name only to this point. I liked it more than the base novel i think 

-and not to drive more on my point in previous reads but BLIND MICHAEL. IS MENTIONED A LOT. mostly re: trauma and recovery, which is nice, but still. 

-I hope book 14 throws us back into the meat of the story. i mean, 10 was probably the weakest entry but it was surrounded by good ones, and since this one was preceeded by 2 of the best books in the series i hope the pattern stays true