#anyways they make me insane and feel shrimp emotions

[ind1c0lite]

you dare to dream impossibly

[lavellane]

thought abt solas as eurydice again

[intertexts-moving]

good evenig ^_^

[freckliephil]

yess thank u for ur ramble about how open & comfortable dnp are now!! as a fellow og viewer, for a long time i thought they would leave DanAndPhil behind entirely and just live peacefully away from the public eye. but then they TRIED and decided to come back anyway?? while tagging phan????? like we were so close to a permanent hiatus i cant believe where we are now

no literally i think it activates a fiercely protective side of me bc im like. dan and phil can do whatever they want forever. they came back after a five year hiatus and said they love us and they love making videos together still, after all this time, after the craziest careers two people have ever had, after being so deeply traumatized and terrified. Like thats crazy. I love them theyre insane. I lost my train of thought bc my edible is kicking in but like yeah dude its crazy we’re here and im personally loving it and its making me feel shrimp emotions seeing how comfortable and happy they are right now

[aq2003]

Different anon than before, but all the s3 ten and martha fics you recommended were amazing. Any other general doctor who fics you like?

ok i'm going to use this as an opportunity to make a general fic rec list for doctor who bc i haven't done something like this in a while and i think it'd be fun. (i'm going to include the s3 ten and martha fics i linked before bc they are some of my favorites and i won't shut up about them)

Sometimes There's Stars by Monarchetype. this is probably my favorite doctor who fic ever in that it appeals directly to my twelve feels and fourteen feels and makes me feel the entire spectrum of human emotion bc of it. the doctor is having neurodivergent floor time in this one. donna has some funny names for the constellations. i cry every single time i read this

History by NikaV. this fic is special to me it's actually the first one i read as i was warily perusing doctor who fics after watching series 3 (i had donna's tag blocked for spoilers LMAO) and god it's soooo. it's sooooo. tenmartha museum fic you'll always be famous. stories that worldbuild about the aftereffects of the timewar my beloved. early s3 martha pov my beloved.

The Ravelled Sleeve of Care by lavenderseaslug. this basically follows ten and donna after their various series 4 adventures. they share a bunk bed. theyre my little guys. the qpps ever

Lethologica by babybel. this is a fic of jenny meeting with donna post-series 4 and yes it's exactly as shrimp emotion inducing as it sounds

Ten Minutes Of Eternity by EldunariLiduen. technically you have to listen to the time reaver big finish audio (...:)) to get the full context for this but it is such a great missing scene and actually can i please have more fics about time reaver it makes me want to explode

Grounded by gawayne. AHHHHHHHHH time reaver hurt comfort. time reaver hurt comfort save me. save me time reaver hurt comfort (<- deranged about this singular big finish audio)

Aro/Ace Twelve by lloydsglasses (series). exactly what it says on the tin. i have not found a lot of twelve fics that appealed to my specific tastes but these ones are really sweet and as an aroace doctor truther i am legally obligated to recommend them <2

At the Edge of the Universe by IllusionOfDeath (series). this is a pair of canon compliant donna character studies in the 60th and ohhhhhh the fourteendonna huh. The fourteendonna broke into my house and left me for dead. AhhhhhHHHHHHH

The Last Act of the Time War is..., Three Months, Subjective Time, and Human-Shaped by versaphile. these three fics are great and i have many feelings about them that can all essentially be boiled down to "jesus christ ten is doing so bad. he's doing so so bad you guys. good lord"

doctor who oneshots by inckpot (series). i tried to pick out my favorites out of these to specifically recommend but it ended up being almost all of them and they are all organized into a beautiful list already so <3. also i don't rly ship ten w anybody but the tensimm and tenjack here fascinate me. they are like diseased bugs of some sort and i'm studying them in a lab. anyway i think op has my favorite general portrayal of timelords in fics ever like there's a line in respite about "carrying the stars" and this generally makes me want to eat drywall and explode into 80 million tiny pieces of glass. the way the doctor's pov gets written. oh yeah. i'm insane

[eshithepetty]

hiii hiii ^_^ hiii what is your favourite mp100 amv? :D

HI HIII!!! Sorry for the late answer!! But ough... you've activated my trap card.

Honestly... and I mean truly honestly, I can't pick one. So I know that's not what this ask specifically asked, but, have just a whole list anyways sjhdgfsjdf

As per my last post, these are specifically less well known amvs, as I think pretty much everyone in this fandom knows of like, ???, 99%, Stressed Out and Kindness, for example. For these ones, I'm pretty sure none of them reach 1000 likes/notes (some don't reach even 100) (at the time of writing this, at least), but I assure you, that's not an indication of quality!! SO yeh. A pile of AMVs be upon ye (15 specifically for now).

Firstly, from Youtube:

DARK ARTS by pyrotechnicstars

Centers on: mp100 in general

This one's not as character centric as the rest of the amvs you'll see on this list, but i just Really love this one for how fluid and fun the editing is, and how the song just fits mp100's vibe very well imo ^^

maybe if i by kiwa

Centers on: Reigen

Such good cuts and scene selection :) really love when people choose a more introspective vibe with Reigen amvs. also it hit me with a surprise serirei reference that made me laugh, so hdhdhcf

All the Rowboats by hyrude

Centers on: Mob & Ritsu

The atmosphere in this one…. ough. I really appreciate when people choose to delve into the darker tones of this show, and this one really nails that !!

If I Was by ObsessiveBookworm

(@grocerystorephobic on tumblr)

Centers on: Reigen & Mob

Another introspective Reigen one! Specifically one focusing on his relationship with Shigeo. This one's really sweet,,, feels almost nostalgic in a way, really neat <3

Children's Work by ObsessiveBookworm

Centers on: Mob & Ritsu

SUCH A NEAT EXPLORATION OF THE KAGEYAMA BROTHERS…. the song fits them sooo well, its just. Augh.. Goes insane,,,,

Try To Change by Thamires

Centers on: Mob

Such a good choice of song.. I think this was one of the first mob amvs that I found and liked? Somber with a tinge of sweet at the end,,, :')

Former Lives by ObsessiveBookworm

Centers on: Mogami arc

Ooughggh;;,,, as i said, I really appreciate exploration of the darker sides to mp100, and this one is just. Augh. So well done, so gritty, so captivating despite being over a whole 6 minutes long. And I also admire it for the sheer challenge of making it, due to the length and how cut down this arc in the anime was, and how op made the best of it.. Love this one a lot…. <3

D o g T e e t h by flyweeabooty

Centers on: Mob

This one just,,, hurts…. so viscerally,,, I don't have many words for this one, just. Damn :(

With All Your Power by ObsessiveBookworm

Centers on: Season 1

The reason i'm labeling it as just season 1 is that…!! Its just!!! Such a great amv for that part of the story, with all the wackiness, the large cast of characters, the different parts going on and occasional tension and explosion of emotions…. its just sooo fun, i adore it !!!

The Whole World And Mob by ObsessiveBookworm

Centers on: Dimple & Mob

A RARE DIMPLE AMV!! And one focusing on their s1 dynamic as well! Honestly just such a silly and good time, this one genuinely makes me smile :)

....WAIT. AUGH. THERE'S A 10 VIDEO LIMIT???

...welp. Lemme take a moment then to put the other 5 in a reblog then, sorry for that jshgfjs. A brief intermission!! Watch these shrimp 'till then

[whatsthisascianbullshit]

🦐🦐🦐

tell me about a character or story that is giving you shrimp emotions right now (x3)

HI THIS GOT LONG IMMEDIATELY ÚPS thank you @yloiseconeillants for giving the shrimp emotions a direction XD

1. Hien. Specifically Hien and Muireann. Specifically, Hien and Muireann fumbling every attempt at flirting or confessions for half an expansion only to manage it right at the end and then Not Talk About The Future (because Queen is a scary word). She writes a letter using the L word for the first time when she realises the Echo won't protect her from getting soul-snatched. And then she gets soul-snatched. And Hien is told that Muireann wanted to tell him the contents of the letter. SO he doesn't read it and fights everyone to have Muireann's body moved to Doma so he can be with her when she wakes up (there is no other option) (normal behaviour from both of them for someone you're totally not all that serious about) (losers). Anyway Hien fawning over his scary witch wife and Muireann blushing and giggling at Hien's flattery live in my head rent-free forever thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I am also scrungled over their different arcs with rediscovering/reclaiming culture and heritage because Hien has only ever known Doma under Garlean rule and Muireann doesn't feel connected to Gelmorra or Werlyt and is trying So Hard to find that connection.

I could write an essay. I am attempting for the WoLxNPC wolqotd that was going around but honestly this is the most coherent I've been about them in A While.

2. The complete and unquestionable faith Muireann has in wolparty makes me Insane. Like little miss self-proclaimed Expert Tactician Strategist with plans A through Q for every plan and every plan's redundancy. Just 100% total faith in 3 people without even thinking about it. No questions asked ever. She can run into the middle of the Naadam because she knows Match and his shield will be in front of her before anyone is close enough to try hit her. She can be greedy and cut it close with avoiding attacks because she knows if she does fuck up that Shin has got her covered. She knows she can burn through her bigger hits because anything that turns to her won't make it past Raer. Like it's definitely not entirely fair for her to be putting that on them but it's just such a delicious error? in her judgement? Like Match getting hurt simply cannot happen, Shin not being able to heal something simply cannot happen, Raer not being strong enough simply cannot happen. And when something inevitably does happen it short circuits her brain because to her these are fundamental laws of the universe. It'd be like if gravity stopped working. Anyway her realising that her and her friends are actually not the invincible heroes you find in stories and myths is one of the most delicious parts of Shadowbringers and it makes the whole Final Days things and the final EW area thing just. So great. Putting Muireann in the slap chop.

3. Fucking Ufufu man. SHe's trying So Damn Hard. And she's doomed! She has to be doomed that's how it works you can't get Muireann if Ufufu's still about (probably). She spends her life working towards being a good scholar, and she is! But when her colleagues start getting tonberrified she is forced to pivot. So she doesn't get to leave Nym much. Her friend does (beloved Louhi) and she's happy for her! But like also pretty dang jealous. And she just...always chooses to be kind where she can. She can hold space for the bitterness at the hand she's been dealt, the pain and despair at the impossible task of curing an incurable disease, the guilt of seemingly being immune somehow, the pain of not being able to save more people - to do More. She has to seal her friends inside of a stasis in the hopes that maybe in the future they can be cured. Knowing that depending on how far in the future that is there may not be much (if any) of Nym left. One of the last things she does is try to make grieving easier on her friend in case Louhi survives the flood and makes her way back to Nym. Because for all the crap she went through, she is at peace with her decisions at the end.

And then in the timeskip AU Hydaelyn plucks her from the lifestream and plonks her down in the place of the ambiguous WoL in a failed timeline where WoL perished in the post-Banquet tunnel collapse. And she has to go through it all again.

boop asks

[charbunnies]

HBD GRIMSLEYYYYYY 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 u can use this ask to talk about ur blorbo of ur choosing if u want. I HOPE TODAYS GOOD TO U

TY VIXEN MY BELOVED!!! <3 i hope it's good to me too, we're watching advent children w/ my mom and that will be. An Experience

Anyway! i believe i shall talk about my current on-the-mind meowmeow, mr. vincent fowler who is living in my mind rent free because he's my focus for miqomarch. here he is!

i originally made him because i wanted a character in xiv to sexualize (sorry) because my main wol is a BABY teenager. and i wanted to play with mods. but then i got attached and now vincent makes me feel shrimp emotions

he's got like. four different verses but the main one i focus on is wol!vincent because Ough. he's a sharlayan moonkeeper miqo who had a special interest in primals as a kid and got scolded, put down and bullied for it for his entire childhood and he has a bit of a complex about it. when the sharlayan exodus happened (when vincent was 12), he broke into the great gubal library and stole a bunch of books on primals and ran off into dravania/coerthas in the middle of winter :^)

he got picked up by a young estinien and accidentally weaseled his way into becoming estinien's adopted younger brother. estinien renamed him to keep him from standing out as much around ishgardians so he just white-ified his name (vincent was originally named vincen'to fawhra. and estinien went "hhmmm how about vincent fowler". really creative estinien thanks). and then vincent joined the dragoons and, at 17, accidentally became the second azure dragoon. which he did not want! he became a dragoon as a cover for studying summoning/primals and then he got too good at it. so he wasn't exactly thrilled and got shoved into a position of power WHICH LED TO:

he got sent off to fight garuda alone when the ixal summoned her because the ishgardians wanted him dead, and because vincent's azem was the one who created her and risked a lot to save her from being destroyed as a creation, she recognized his soul and let him kill her to spare him. and because of the way smn works (yknow, have to have killed the primal to summon it!) suddenly vincent found himself able to just. summon her. he can't summon any of the other primals it's just her. they're best friends but they act like they hate each other and they make me cry so so much (it's the red-string-of-fate i-can't-let-you-go-even-though-i-can't-remember-why AGONY)

also he was childhood friends with g'raha and y'shtola but obviously lost contact when he ran away. g'raha had a kid crush on him that he never really got rid of and long story short, they end up together after shb but not without like, a LOT of agony

guys who make me really, really insane. vinraha my friends my meowmeows. i don't want to talk too much about their stuff because that's like. this reply is getting so fucking long but just know that they make me feel like screaming

but yeah. he's a weird drg/smn/drk combo where a lot of his attacks/abilities utilize garuda in some way. i call him a windcaller :)

UHHHH other than that, he's pretty and a little bit of a whore and extremely loyal to a fault and he puts on a scary face until you talk to him for like 5 minutes and realize he's actually very sweet. he gives good hugs and has wide shoulders and he's beefy and i want to kiss him on the face.

OH AND LAST THING: he and sidurgu had/have a weird relationship where they had a one night stand one time and sid thinks about it all the time and vincent never thinks about it at all. sid is still hopelessly in love with him despite the fact that it's been years. rielle likes vincent more than sid and also bullies sid about still being Like That with vincent. they permanently have weird sexual tension and also vaguely don't get along and it is so fucking funny to me. sid sees vincent showing raha around ishgard and vincent's making cat kissy eyes at raha and sid's like Oh. God Dammit. i think it's funny when grown ass men are weird like this.

anyway that is all <3 hope you enjoyed my ted talk and ty again for letting me talk about my blorbo

[creampuffqueen]

Ranking Songs from Noah Kahan's Album 'Stick Season (We'll All Be Here Forever)'

i fucking love this guy. this album gives me feelings no other. i am going insane. anyway here's how i rank the songs

Dial Drunk- god. this fucking song. ibegyousirjustletmecallillgiveyoumybloodalcohol. i'm never gonna be the same. i scream this one like a crazy person even though i've never been drunk much less driven drunk or called someone drunk. all the same though it's so fucking good

2. You're gonna Go Far- so pack up your car. put your hand on your heart. say whatever you feel. be wherever you are. i can't even with this song. obsessed

3. Orange Juice- god i just. the way it goes from soft and welcoming to just grief filled, like telling a story with flashbacks, just everything about it. a masterpiece

4. All My Love- genuinely considering learning acoustic guitar just to play this. i want to scream this song around a campfire. you've got all my love

5. New Perspective- i just adore the tune with this one. i can jam so hard

6. The View Between Villages (Extended)- usually not a huge fan of songs with talking in the middle but it does it so well. the extension just adds a lil something more and i fucking eat it up

7. The View Between Villages- still love it, just love the extended version more

8. Call Your Mom- i love it. it's like such a good friendship song honestly. the way you'll do anything for your friends. you want them to be okay, you'll do anything

9. Stick Season- so good. so good. i don't have a huge comment i just really like it

10. Homesick- i'm mean because i grew up in new england- the way i scream this verse as someone who grew up in the south lmao. but i like the way this turns 'homesick' on its head. he's not missing his home, he's sick of it. he's sick of his home. but he also can't leave because it's his home. musical masterpiece

11. Everywhere, Everything- i do really like this one. the most adventurecore of the album. but it got overplayed on tiktok so it's a bit lower

12. Northern Attitude- a good opener for the album, just a solid song. not much to say otherwise

13. She Calls Me Back- good to jam to. love the beat on this one

14. Growing Sideways- i like how he's talking about how he feels like he's not on the same level as everyone else, like maturity or life stage wise. i enjoy it

15. No Complaints- the feeling where you feel awful but you're trying to convice yourself that you don't have it that bad but it's not working

16. Your Needs, My Needs- the guitar in this does it for me. again, a total jam

17. Come Over- kinda chatty, if that makes sense? it's fine, i like it enough

18. Paul Revere- no comment. it's decent

19. Strawberry Wine- i like this, but the end is just like humming and going oooooh for a solid minute so that brings it down

20. Halloween- meh

21. Still- the only skip on the album. idk why, i just don't like this one

OKAY I DID IT

anyway everyone go listen to this album it's a fucking masterpiece. i'm feeling shrimp emotions listening to it it's so good

[foulbearobservation]

wanted to talk a little bit abt some of the references I listed in the end notes to bleed part 2 so here's some of them!

De Profundis by Oscar Wilde

this letter makes me feel human emotions that have been previously undiscovered. I feel like I experience shrimp colors when I read this letter. It was written as Wilde was in prison for homosexuality, and while the first part of it is Wilde's reflection on prison but the second part is all about christ as a romantic and artistic figure and just,,,,, GOD. I used this as an inspo for part 1 and part 2 and I think, more than anything else, is the string that binds these together.

also fun fact! domine non sum dignus (the latin part of the title in pt1) is from that famous quote "Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling, and Domine, non sum dignus should be on the lips and in the hearts of those who receive it". That quote is also why lilith kneels and why there's bdsm in these fics at all lmfao.

Domine non sum dignus roughly translates too "Lord, I am not worthy" which I used in the title for pt2 :) it's a fun little connection between the titles.

You can read De Profundis here.

2. On Love by Kahlil Gibran

This one is a little harder to spot but it was also the inspiration for the titles! this last section makes me want to chew glass.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own under- standing of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy; To return home at eventide with grati- tude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

"to bleed willingly and joyfully" was the original title of pt1. I changed it after the phrase "to bleed is the sacred thing" came into my house and kicked my ass and refused to leave my brain, so "to bleed is the joyful thing" became the eventual title for pt 2. I love this poem so much it also makes me feel shrimp colors as emotions.

You can read On Love here.

3. The Devil Went Down to Georgia by the Charlie Daniels Band

I know my other inspirations have been very like. literary like poems and letters and stuff but sometimes u need a hoedown song to make you feel insane. The Devil Went Down to Georgia plays on the american southern gothic tradition of meeting the devil at a crossroads. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and I wanted to infuse just a little bit of home into this fic, so I used this. I felt like it was an especially powerful visual for lilith, who is metaphorically at a crossroads post-season 2. (also fun fact this was one of the first songs I learned to play when I was playing bass, in addition to this song having a banging fiddle line, it has a cool bassline too!)

You can listen to The Devil Went Down to Georgia here.

4. A Cornstalk Fiddle by notbecauseofvictories

This plays off of the song, but it's straight up one of the best fics I've ever read and you all should read it. Yes it is based on the charlie daniels band song, yes it changed the way I think about stories. sometimes fics can just do that.

You can read A Cornstalk Fiddle by notbecauseofvictories here.

Anyway those are the big ones! I just wanted to talk abt these references because they really did make a difference in my brain chemistry and if I do nothing else, I would like to infect everyone else with the shrimp colors of emotions that de profundis makes me feel

[intertexts]

anyway ive been feeling insane over days about how vyncent spent the whole first season homesick and lonely and wanting to just go home. and we get to this arc and the place he wanted to go home to is gone it changed without him!!! he walks through the wreckage of his childhood home without ever having gotten to say goodbye to it. this is such a huge payoff for vyncent, it's been set up since early season one-- getting back home, figuring out what happened with his dad and the greats. and it ends so fucking abruptly. not even any goodbye no time to linger!!! his dad is RIGHT THERE. the closure we've been expecting this entire time is right there & he just. Leaves. none of what we've kind of been expecting this whole time!!!!!!!!! feeling fucking insane over it!! + part of this is of course the lich, but like.... they could have gotten home later through minerva. he didn't have to fucking bolt at the first possible chance but he did. head in hands ohhh vyncent virion sol u make me feel shrimp emotions

[bebopboyfriend]

i’m so normal about one piece. i know this is my self ship blog but also posting anywhere else i would feel so annoying 😭 i’m semi close to being at the halfway point in the manga and it’s just. i’m SO normal. i’m worried about reading it too fast but at that point i should just watch it if i get fully caught up with the manga. also i keep getting emotional thinking about when it’ll end. i don’t necessarily know how soon it’ll be over but just imagining the straw hats actually achieving their dreams makes me want to bawl my eyes out <3 THEY DESERVE TO but oh my gd imagining it happening in canon makes me feel insane shrimp emotions. anyways sorry for the CRINGE i’ve already infodumped way too much today in a server i’m in with some friends and i literally need to chill out and keep it to myself. but 😭😭😭 i probably will end up deleting this but!!!!! i have to get it out because my heart feels too huge when thinking about the straw hats. award to normalest guy ever goes to me!!!!!!!!!

[intertexts-moving]

HI ROS my dumbass didn’t know this account was you ToT i was actually wondering something! i used to love trigun as a kid (yes i know very age appropriate), would you recommend the new show as a way to get back into the series?? i’ve been wanting to rewatch the original for a while but the new one looks really good, i’m just not sure if it’s a sequel or adaptation or what? i miss vash so much he’s my favoritest dude i just need to see him again!! :((((( anyways hope you’re well!!

HIII SULLYYYYY!! hksdfkdkffgg naurrr i JUST. just today. edited my pinned to get rid of the part where i was like "i REMADE its ROS B0R0WSKI HI HI HI. its ME." 😭it ok. anyway. ok. ok. hi :]]]]]

ok back on topic. trigun stampede!!!!!!!!!!! hm. yes. yes i think its a good way to get back into the series yeah! it's insanely well animated & looks gorgeous, wonderful score imo, interesting and sparkling reboot, already confirmed for s2, etc etc. counterpoint: it's more of just like... shonen of the year type show than the original. like. truly it does steamroll over the "show don't tell" and "extremely slow escalation from slapstick comedy to horrifying cosmic philosophical tragedy" and "focus on specific interactions & people & moments on gunsmoke" parts of the original & replaces them w/ a more generic feeling type of action. like, u get the plant rem vash etc. reveal in the first five minutes of the first episode. nevertheless, i think it succeeds very well at what it was trying to do & visually it's stunning, the vaguely altered reboot premise is compelling, there's some utterly breathtaking cinematic shots that do make me feel shrimp emotions, & it's still a rlly fun show! etc. :}

[gallusrostromegalus]

I love this analysis and dynamic and I would like to add more:

1. Re: shinigami women's association:

I think this is the *most* likely place where they really became friends, and specifically because of the aforementioned "all about business until it's blorbo time" autistic girl energy, and it is both very cute and highly plausible to me that Soi Fon and Rukia have bonded by going "yes, this is normal" and taking turns into dumping, and being informed at because that's exactly how my friends and I play in the discord server.

This also means that Soi Fon possesses an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Chappy by proxy and has both the time management and ways & means skills to snap up any new Chappy swag for her friend and drive both Renji and Byakuya insane by getting Rukia the thing before either even knew it existed, and effectively sniping every single birthday and holiday present for the last decade or so.

2. Cool kids table at the noble house function:

You're right that they both have NQOC status at noble house events that they are both invited to and attend out of obligation, and that's awkward, even if they both believe in nobility, and I can see them effectively meeting behind the punch bowl and sharing a look over some outrageous thing they hear Lady whatsherface say and just. Immediate kinship of the awkward kids at the birthday party. They wouldn't diss the noble class, but they absolutely would talk mad smack about nobles who are bad at being nobles.

3. Byakuya:

This is perfect and hilarious and I am giggling over whatever circumstances arise after Yoruichi leaves (or possibly even before?) That makes Soi Fon realize "wait. I'm having beef with a teenage? Specifically, this dweeb? What is WRONG with me?"

Also, consider: Byakuya transferring his one-sided rivalry with Yoruichi at least partially over to Soi Fon (the minute he finds out about Wind Goddess Shunko he's going to do something outrageous like make an audible noise of annoyance), especially if he's been silently seething over/inspired by Soi Fon's Chappy-merch acquisition skills for the last decade.

4. More places Rukia and Soi Fon might know each other from:

Please consider: the soi-fon-isshin-ichigo-rukia dynamic.

Unless I have seriously misunderstood the timelines, I think Isshin Shiba was at least a seated officer, of not actually captain of the 10th when Yoruichi left, and given how affectionate/protective/benevolently patriarchal Isshin is with Karin and Yuzu, I can't help but wonder if he wasn't the same with Soi Fon. It seems very plausible to me that Isshin, missing his sister (mother of Kaien, Kujaku and Ganju), might see Soi Fon, distraught after Yoruichi left, and take her under his wing in an older brother sort of way.

Soi Fon's home life is a mess (she's got 5 older brothers who died in service to the Shihoin Clan and her parents pushed her to devote herself to Yoruichi anyway, that household has fucking shrimp colors of mental illness), and I can see her being confused but also latching on to this new source of attention and affection, esp. when it doesn't come with weird demands.

*I think Isshin got his "greet Ichigo with a flying kick" habit from her, because I feel like that is how Soi Fon's brothers expressed affection to her in ninja, so she did it to Isshin and he thought "oh yeah, that's a normal way to behave :)"

I think Soi Fon and Isshin were close, and when he suddenly vanished too? It hit her like a truck.

We don't see a lot (if any?) Interactions between Ichigo and Soi Fon in canon, but if she ever works out that her friend's friend who has saved soul society's bacon several times is Isshin's son, she's going to have SO MANY EMOTIONS about it before settling on "I like him, but I don't want to invade his personal life, he has enough going on".

This, naturally, manifests in the form of her occasionally appearing seemingly at random (in reality, after a whole bunch of secret machinations and drama) and bestowing a roulette wheel of major socio-politcal favors, hardcore training (read: running up and stabbing him), and very good but weirdly personal gifts, and then vanishing after failing to explain herself.

"You know captain Fon, right Rukia?" Ichigo finally asks. "What's with the (string of bizarre encounters)?"

"What?" Rukia shrugs. "She's just being friendly?"

"FRIENDLY??" Ichigo wails.

"Yeah? You're like, probably her third or fourth favorite person?"

"-I don't think I've ever had an actual conversation with her she just appears, does stuff and never answers any questions when did we become friends???"

"Oh my God Ichigo, how are you THIS clueless?"

Hey, you know who's not being a jerk though? Soi Fon! It's a remarkable development, her giving credit to others and supporting her lieutenant. So much so that Renji (again somewhat rudely...she's right there) points it out.

Rukia's reaction is kind of hilarious though. Like, we know Soi Fon has not always been nice. So has Rukia just not been paying attention? Even assuming she never ran into her as a member of the Squad 13 rank-and-file, she still had three years of being a lieutenant, where she'd presumable get the gossip on her.

Which I suppose means that Soi Fon has been personally nice enough to Rukia to make up for that. Here are my theories as to how that could have happened:

Rukia and Soi Fon get along at Shinigami Women's Association meetings. They are both all about business and getting things done, except when each has the chance to indulge in a passion for their favorite animal character. Somehow this has led to amiability rather than rivalry.

Rukia and Soi Fon get along socially at nobility functions. Rukia is a rukon orphan who was adopted into the Kuchiki household somewhat scandalously, while Soi Fon is from a servant clan to the Shihoin but has taken on some of the traditional Shihoin positions because of the youth of the current clan head. Both of them are invited to all the fancy dinners, neither of them is a hot commodity at these dinners because they have a limited capability to confer status on others. Perhaps they bonded there.

Soi Fon had an entirely-in-her-own-head rivalry with Byakuya when Yoruichi was mentoring both of them. When Yoruichi left Soul Society, Soi Fon at first took a bitter pleasure in her also leaving Byakuya behind, but as she became more and more resentful towards Yoruichi for leaving, she found herself relating more and more to Byakuya, and started requesting to work with Squad 6. Byakuya was oblivious to all of this, but was flattered by Soi Fon's seeming appreciation of his obvious talents and impressed by her competence and professionalism. He has expressed to Rukia that Captain Fon is the sort of officer the Court Guards could use more of, which Rukia recognizes is the closest her brother comes to expressing fondness for his co-workers.

[selchwife]

it’s enough of a Dark thing that i don’t talk about it a lot, and really talking about it very vaguely is enough to understand the character anyway, but i think sometimes about how like

for pfeil his background of abuse and the calamity were, together, what inspired him to Become An Adventurer, and i think the mindset he’s in when he makes that decision (very young, too!) is kind of the defining feature of his character in a way i don’t adequately talk about.

i think pfeil runs away from home at around 9 or 10, by the time the calamity rolls around he’s about 12. his amnesia for his childhood abuse starts setting in around this time but he definitely remembers enough to be upset about it and it’s always like...EMOTIONALLY there even if he doesn’t consciously understand what that feeling is, because that’s how DID works (F). having an Enormous Fucking Disaster take away what little control he’s managed to get over his life is really traumatizing for him, almost moreso than the awfulness of being injured in the disaster itself.

i typically think this is when he gets his echo, so he’s simultaneously presented with this amazing out, like, “Hydaelyn picked me to be a hero! Wow! I’m actually very cool and special!” and of course what she’s offering him is something he’s desperate for - power to defend himself from bad people, control over himself and his life, something that will make him feel good about himself. more than anything else pfeil HATES feeling powerless or vulnerable or weak and whenever this happens in msq i tend to imagine him flipping the FUCK out in ways that are sometimes insanely disproportionate (this is proportionate, i think, but as an example the zenos body-snatching thing between his need for control and his trauma history concerning bodily integrity was Designed In A Lab to absolutely break him mentally).

once heavensward hits, though, this is also juxtaposed with like...he becomes deeply, deeply depressed, so in other ways he becomes RESIGNED to his lack of control and sort of self-destructively apathetic and passively suicidal. and that lasts for a LONG time, like well into shadowbringers - emet meets him when this is still a problem for him, and i think part of what brings them together is that pfeil overhears y’shtola and urianger talking about the lightwarden corruption and figures since he’s dying he’d better just accept it and distance himself from his friends, and because he’s dying it doesn’t matter anymore if emet is “the bad guy.” Normal!

but his like total hatred of vulnerability is also what makes it so hard for him to be brought to trust and love and sleep with emet and think maybe he’s gotten through to him only for that to turn out to be a total fucking lie. and it’s confusing for him because this is like...his Second relationship, and certainly a lot more intense than the brief relationship he had with g’raha when he was about 19, so he doesn’t deal well. he’s not Equipped. and sometimes he just becomes resigned when it comes to loss of control, but this is one of those situations that instead provokes for him the kind of Unbelievable Rage that makes it hard to think. and he carries that right up until he kills emet, at which point he’s got a whole NEW set of fucked emotions to think about.

this kind of got away from me i didn’t mean for it to turn into pfeilmet but. yeah. he’s allergic to not being in control and his only two responses are “guess i’ll die...i’d like that...” or Violent Action accompanied by a string of expletives so strong only shrimps can perceive them

[the-evil-authoress]

GX Month Day 1: “Hero Signal”

We’re kicking things off with everyone’s favorite hero Judai/Jaden Yuki’s birthday! Show the fluffy boi some love!

This chaos ran away from me. But I’m quite happy with it.

Jaden’s knee bounces, one eye on the game in his hands, the other on his phone. He’s played this game a hundred times before so he doesn’t really need to pay full attention unless it’s the boss fight. His duffle bag is already packed. He’s ready this time, he’s waiting, he’s...excited? That’s a new concept. He can’t remember the last time he’d been excited for his birthday. But last year his friends had gone out of their way to surprise him, so-

Maybe he’s expecting too much.

No, no, we’re trying to be positive here!

Jaden shakes his head, misses the timing for a jump, and has to start the virtual obstacle course over. Today’s gonna be a good day. Clutching the console tighter, Jaden tries to ignore the thick, slimy feeling bubbling up his chest.

His phone vibrates and he dives for it.

[come meet me at central park]

Yes! He snaps the GameBoy shut without saving, chucks it in his bag as he shoulders it, and runs for the door. The park, huh? Maybe he’s not supposed to bring his stuff? Whatever, won’t be their first impromptu sleepover.

He snaps to a halt at the sight of his mother slipping her shoes off at the genkan. “Mom?”

She looks up as if startled to see him. “Judai?”

And there goes his good mood. His mother eyes the bag on his shoulder, what would have been a pleasant but entirely fake smile crinkling into a frown.

“I’m heading out,” he grumbles as he walks past her to get his own shoes.

“I got off early today so I thought we could go get a cake.” Ugh, she sounds so damnably confused, like really? What did you expect?

“I’m heading out!” Jaden snaps, shoving his shoes on, and throws himself out the door before she can get another word in edgewise. It slams behind him. He takes off running.

Geez. Breathing through his teeth, he tugs on his hair. No one even calls him that anymore. ‘Cept that freaking voice in his dreams-

Nope. Not thinking about that. Today’s gonna be a good day.

Winged Kuriboh trills by his head but it’s Neos’ voice that startles him. “She seemed like she was making an effort.”

“Too little, too late.” Jaden huffs and steadfastly plows forward to the train station and out of their middle of nowhere suburb. “I’ve already got plans.” He tightens his grip on the bag strap. And he’d much rather spend the day with people who actually know him and what he likes. He cringes in delight at the memory of the mountain of presents from last year. Wonder what they got him this time?

The train ride is dull like usual; Jaden sticks himself in a corner and plays on his GameBoy until Kuriboh alerts him to their stop. Then the console is shoved back in his bag as he shoulders it and shoves his way through the other passengers toward freedom. The park is a ten minute walk from there, and his friends are conspicuously easy to spot.

There’s a gazebo deck out in balloons and streamers and one of those shiny fucking rainbow “Happy Birthday” signs with his name. Sweet Neo Space, Jaden wants to hide in a trash can like Syrus did at the tournament.

“I can’t.” Jaden spins on his heel, hoping no one has spotted him yet. Sparkman actually goes out of his way to grab Jaden’s shoulders and spin him back around, and Jaden lets him despite the fact he could easily break out of the ghostly hold. “Alright, alright. Gods, my friends are embarrassing.”

As if on cue, someone must have noticed him because a chorus of voices call out.

“Jaden!”

“Jaden, over here!”

Yeah, like he hadn’t already seen the giant sign announcing his birthday to the world. That had to be Atticus’s idea. Walking up to the gazebo is an odd cocktail of emotions, somewhere between please let me die and I will die happy. A mountain of presents sit on the table. It’s...it’s bigger than last year?

“You look like you’re about to faint,” Bastion says, already offering an arm to steady Jaden.

“I might,” Jaden squeaks, a rare moment of vulnerability that is both terrifying and insanely freeing. “You guys... This is a lot.”

“And nothing less for such a special day!” Atticus throws his arms out in a grand display and Jaden winces with a strained laugh.

“A little too much,” he admits.

Atticus’s expression falls into confusion as Christina snorts and Alexis gives her brother a critical look. “I told you his name on the banner was too much.” Jaden nods in silent agreement, not daring to meet their eyes. Bastion’s arm remains a comforting support around his shoulders.

As extravagant as Atticus likes to act, he actually stops to consider this before shrugging. “I’ll keep that in mind then. I guess I do get carried away.” Scratching the back of his head, he smiles sheepishly.

“Oh you think?” Chazz scoffs. “Should have seen what my party looked like.”

Jaden latches onto the ability to swerve the conversation away from himself. “Oh, yeah! Sorry I missed that.”

“You weren’t even invited!” Chazz snaps. “That dolt went and invited himself!”

“You had fun and you know it,” Atticus says, undeterred.

“I have photo evidence,” Syrus says with a smug grin from where he sits on a table bench, and Chazz snaps to gape at him in horror.

“Delete them! Delete them, you little rat!”

“Make me!” Syrus challenges, deftly dodging Chazz’s lunge and darting behind Hassleberry, a solid wall of muscle who Chazz still tries to lunge around.

“Oi! Who said you could drag me into this?!” Hasselberry shoves both of them away as Chazz flails his arms uselessly at Syrus.

Snickering, Jaden moves away from Basation to drop his bag under the bench next to Christina as the game of chase continues. “You brought your bag.”

“Crashing at your place after this,” Jaden says. A statement not a question, and Christina sends him a look but thankfully doesn’t ask.

A screech pulls their attention to Chazz awkwardly dangling from the gazebo railing after what must have been an epic nosedive. “You did that on purpose!” he screams at a smug Syrus, and Jaden’s hands fly to his mouth as the laugh spills out of him.

“Think twice about chasing me next time!”

Just damn his friends are insane and Jaden loves it. Atticus and Bastion take pity on Chazz and help him back into the gazebo, while Jaden cautiously looks over the spread on the table. One side is the pile of colorful boxes, a giant cake with whip cream and strawberries on the other, and Jaden baulks at the figure with a book in his hand at the far end of the table.

“Zane??”

Without looking up, Zane points directly at Atticus and flips the page in his book. “Don’t get used to this.”

“Suuuure,” Christina drawls with one of those I know something you don’t want me to smiles. Ever the king of poker faces, Zane doesn’t react. He doesn't even react to Atticus dropping a party hat on his head on his way to the-

That’s a deep fryer. That’s a deep fucking fryer that Atticus pulls a fresh batch of fried shrimp out of. “Atticus,” Jaden croaks. “I love you but I hate you.”

“Awww, I love you too Jaden!” Atticus doesn’t miss a beat and Jaden slumps onto the bench to bury his face in his arms. These people will be the death of him!

And he will still die happy.

“I think we broke him.” Syrus pokes his shoulder.

“Just leave him alone for a bit.” That’s Alexis’ voice, a brief but firm hand on his shoulder to remind him she’s there if he needs her but will give him space. It’s a little terrifying how well she’s come to know him, that they all have really; Jaden can’t remember ever making the decision to let them get so close. But maybe it’s a good thing, Jaden thinks, as Atticus passes out plates of the best fried shrimp Jaden has ever tasted, he and Bastion eagerly exchange deck theories, and the mountain of presents turns out to be mostly snacks, new video games, and useful but themed items rather than more stuff that will collect dust in his room. The E-Hero throw blanket and the Winged Kuriboh pillow are coming with him to the dorm.

[I’m sorry I couldn’t make it! Happy birthday, Jaden!!! Send pictures!] Chumley texts part way into the festivities with a liberal amount of heart and party popper emojis, and Jaden has to take another moment to recollect himself.

“I tried to get Aster out here too, but the guy said he was too busy.” Atticus holds his hands aloft and shakes his head like this is such a tragedy.

“Hey, I’m surprised you got Zane in on this.” Jaden looks up from the pillow of his arms. He’s starting to tire in the high energy atmosphere but he doesn’t want to leave yet. Maybe his friends won’t care if he just zens for a bit? They didn’t seem to notice last time when he quietly retreated to the side with Christina, but they’d also been screaming over a board game.

“I had the day off anyway,” Zane says, still not looking up, and no one bothers him for not engaging. Then again, Zane has never been much for engaging in anything.

“Just keep pretending you don’t care.” Atticus ruffles Zane’s hair and Jaden sniggers at the way Zane’s poker face cracks the tiniest bit.

Syrus and Hassleberry start arguing over who’s gift Jaden liked better - Jaden refuses to choose much to their dismay - Christina and Alexis seem to be talking about a show they’re both into, and Chazz and Bastion are debating the existence of other realities - really, Chazz? They already know those exist. They’ve been to one.

Jaden smiles, hidden by his arm, left to chill in peace and interact as he pleases.

Yeah, this is a good thing.

Maybe us against the world doesn’t have to just be the two of them anymore.