#anyways they are out of stock and also I don't think they even ship to my country BUT I WANT THEM SO BAD I WANT TO THROW EM DOWN THE STAIRS

[manzanamarim]

why are they so Friend Shaped... I need them

[lowrezbonuslevel]

you... are my nakama.......!

Day 2 Revenge Kirby Fighters 3 and Knuckles: Old Man Yaoi Edition

⚠️ LONG (but good-faith) RANT (that gives a little extra context for today's drawing) UNDER THE CUT (don't worry it's not shipping discourse lmao) ⚠️

Okay so I know neither of these modes are canon and therefore it's SORT OF a moot point, but NARRATIVELY SPEAKING, Meta Knightmare Returns and Dededetour are completely and utterly backwards, right???

What beef does King Dedede have with Dark Meta Knight? What beef does Meta Knight have with Sectonia and Dark Matter Swordsman (besides the fact that they both breathe and hold pointy weapons)? I understand that there's this ongoing plotline with having MK face swordfighters to test his skill, but I still think King Dedede should have been the one to rematch both DMS and Sectonia in Robobot (I do know Sectonia DX in TDX exists, but she isn't the final boss of the Dededetour mode which kinda sucks).

Shadow Dedede himself is a decent idea, but he's new to the series and has absolutely no story introduction (and his design isn't all that interesting, at least to me). Sectonia? Love her, but she deserves a Dedede hammer to the face for all three phases and more. DMS (and Dark Matter in general)? The ORIGINAL Dedede opp (besides Kirby lol). I know these are just clones in-story, but the coolness factor is still there.

You can make the argument that MK got to fight Mecha Knight because of MKR--which is cool, definitely, but if it were King Dedede the same could be said for the Dedede Clone fight, so in my eyes it evens out (actually... Dedede beating Stock Mecha would probably have been even more hype. imho).

Also, a Galacta Knight battle with solo King Dedede would be rad. The power scalers would have a FIELD DAY!!!

Likewise, Meta Knight never actually got to beat DMK in a proper battle at any point, did he? So based on both canon and alt timelines, DMK could still whoop MK's ass. That's just wrong... :(

It's my understanding that TDX was made with absolutely no anticipation of Robobot, so it could be the case that they simply didn't want to give Dedede the spotlight twice. But I sort of wish they had held back on MKR regardless.

Really, I don't think you NEED the anticipation of Robobot's specific plot/mechanics to see that MKR would have fit perfectly in TDX, because it answers the question of "where the hell is MK and why did he sit back when Dedede got kidnapped"? Having him fight DMK would be a way cooler explanation than an implicit "he was doing something somewhere else."

Maybe he's been fighting on the sidelines and is now clearing out the castle--which is full of Sectonia's remaining minions, the strongest and most loyal--and getting to the bottom of some source of magic still coming from the castle. Meanwhile Dedede and Kirby are helping out the people of mainland Popstar that were displaced by Sectonia and the Dreamstalk. And DMK (or, even better--a form of Dark Mind!) serves as the final boss.

Likewise, while the main events of Robobot are going on, the King could be helping Floralia defend themselves from the invasion. (The existence of Sectonia Clone combined with the pause screen that claims "Floralia is too remote to be mechanized yet" is literally just a plot hole anyway. The invaders couldn't overtake Floralia by the time we're fighting Sectonia Clone... despite the fact that they obviously DID find the huge plant that leads DIRECTLY to their kingdom AND the invaders have a mother(computer)ship the size of Planet Popstar AND practically infinite robot soldiers...? Be so fr...)

Extra work/game industry deadlines are a consideration too, but I don't think that applies too heavily here because both modes could have heavily reused and repurposed assets and level designs.

MK could have just had the typical EX mode recolors and stuff, but maybe with the story explanation/design concept that the bosses are being controlled by the Dark Mirror this time, instead of being aggravated by Taranza.

Dededetour in Robobot could have subsequently reused TDX assets. I feel like this is even a case where reskins are the objectively cooler option, as opposed to entirely new assets: seeing the flowery, green areas of Floralia converted to gross, grey landscapes would have been AWESOME, as well as seeing the insects and flower-based enemies turned to robots. Maybe the People of the Sky have been mind controlled: the six main flower fairies work together as a miniboss, and defeating them/breaking their mind control apparatuses is how they are "rescued" here, in parallel to their game of origin. Maybe Taranza is also being mind-controlled in an act of universal karma and Dedede has to bail him out. That would be sick!

This stuff isn't a series-ruiner by any means, but it genuinely feels like a glitch in the Kirby matrix that the plotlines here are so mismatched. If I were whimsically rewriting the Kirby series, the MKR and Dededetour swap would probably be the first change I'd make. (And, again, I'd like to acknowledge that there are/were probably practical considerations of which I'm ignorant.)

You know how the series could still fix everything, though...? Kirby Fighters 3, BUT this time King Dedede and Meta Knight are the main protags. They get to fight magically-summoned/echo versions of DMK, DMS, Sectonia, King D-Mind, Yin-Yarn... you name it. TOGETHER. As husbands should!!!

[the-bjd-community-confess]

CW: Politics, Human Rights discussion

I Collect BJDs, Too. Trump's Second Term Should Alarm You.

We should all know by now that Trump winning the presidency this year is catastrophic for the basic human rights of minorities in the US (and abroad, let's be completely honest here). He is planning to enact a political playbook of draconian laws meant to 'bring back' a fictional ideal of the US, one that sees everyone subservient to conservative cishet white men. This is not fear-mongering, it is simply a cold hard fact that the people backing him financially have a lot to gain from instilling a form of government that solely caters to their whims and desires, and a lot of the Project 2025 playbook not only gives the power to white men in general over that of women, LGBTQIA+, and BIPOC people within our boarders, but will give power to the wealthy white men in this country who want to own everything, including our very bodies.

This should concern you. I don't know how else to express to you that it should concern you. There are not enough words at my disposal to express just how dire this situation is for all of us. And if you aren't concerned, and you're a BJD collector like I am, then allow me to make it personal so you can understand.

These tarrifs will result in much narrower access to BJDs as a whole. I'll use V0lks as an example: V0lks has a store based in the US, in Los Angeles. They send this store batches of dolls and clothes and wigs and eyes and replacement parts periodically to help keep them stocked. When they run out of a thing (unless that thing was being phased out/replaced/discontinued), the employees make a list of what they need, use their own profits to pay for it, and then Volks would send them new stock to fill the gaps. When the tarrifs take hold, this new stock will be more expensive, since Japan in general will be forced to pay higher import tarrifs. That means the US Volks location will have to spend more money on the restock shipments, which will in turn make the dolls more expensive so that Volks can maintain a substantial profit margin; but these tarrifs will backfire, because a 20%-60% increase will not translate to good profit for Volks, which means the US location will be shuttered to keep Volks from hemorrhaging money, which means your only option would be to buy your dolls from Japan... and you'd be paying the extra shipping money, because it will still cost Volks extra money to ship dolls into the US. This may result in Volks choosing not to ship dolls to the US at all, meaning you won't be able to buy any of their dolls again unless you can find a third party willing to spend their own money to send you these dolls at even higher prices that include the profit THEY need to make for doing so.

Lots of doll companies are not as big as V0lks. A lot of them are considerably smaller. The smaller ones will cease operations in the US entirely right off the bat. Some will hold on, but eventually abandon us as a market. A lot of independant BJD artists in the US will not be able to make and sell their dolls because there are no well known (non-scammer) resin workers who will be able to help create a solid product the way that companies like V0lks or R1ngdoll or Lutz or Minifee can offer. Recast companies will also cease operations in the US, because they still need to import the recasts from the counterfeit suppliers in other countries who won't be able to afford the tarrifs point blank period. So if you thought that recasts would be an option, think again (they shouldn't be one anyway, but that's a different convo that we aren't gonna have right now).

These tarrifs, these policies, will affect vast swathes of non-American products, like snacks, drinks, food, entertainment, and toys. One of the big ones that overlaps with the BJD community, anime and manga, will likely vanish, as it will likely be deemed 'too adult' by the religious extremists in power. You will lose access to these things and you will not have another chance to get them for a very very very long time. By the time you do have the chance, some of the BJD companies whose market focus has been the USA might be completely gone. SmartD0ll, for example: their company relies on US consumption of their products, and they market HEAVILY to the US market because we are a really really easy demographic to market to on the global stage. Danny has staked a LOT of his company into our willingness to buy his extremely westernized anime dolls. They are not very popular in Japan, and he focuses very little on other markets where his negative behavior isn't as readily tolerated. Unless he does a massive pivot to a different market... SmartDolls will be gone. I won't speak on how I personally feel about SmartD0ll, but I know that a LOT of people love his product, and will be utterly devastated when they can never buy them again.

So, if you are in this community and voted for him, you should be worried. I know there are people in this community who did, because I've seen the alarming uptick of conservative rhetoric in this community first hand. At the end of the day, you are probably just as disillusioned with the US government and chose to vote accordingly. Even if that meant voting for a felon who has a vetted interest in toppling our current democratic structures and isolating the US economically and cleansing it ethnically and religiously. You will lose access to your dolls. Be ready for that.

~Anonymous

[blacklegsanjiii]

A sanji that hasnt joined the crew but pops up everywhere when they need him (or dont, they just find him making out with their captain) also he leaves random buffets and easy to make recipes and stock in the pantry (he wont let them starve!!)

Maybe he’s already part of another pirate crew but he cares abt them v much so he cant help but help and hes always in the right place at the right time (arlong park, little garden, mr prince, and a bunch more)

OR BETTER ALTERNATIVE VERSION the crew besides luffy doesnt even know Sanjis there helping them and are all convinced the ship is haunted. Idk i just like the idea of sanji being a badass while also being a cryptic fuck

I love this. Luffy shrugged at his refusal and left. Zeff kicked his ass off Baratie anyway and now he's following behind to make sure they don't die. He's sneaking onto the Merry to stock it and leaves recipe cards and also a guide on how to care for Nami's trees. Sanji has his powers but was too emotional and that's why Judge got rid of him. Sanji is basically Big Foot. Everyone is confused except Luffy who always laughs and grins.

Sanji is following them in a small coffin boat and is ripping his hair out at every fucking instance of his existence following them. He's going to strangle the rubber man, doesn't matter if they're dating or whatever the fuck they're doing. Sanji is going to strangle him. Sanji had done Reverse Mountain, by himself, in a little boat, managed to befriend a whale with the god damn jolly roger of his not boyfriend, fought dinosaurs and lied to a Warlord and left a forever post to Alabasta on the Merry.

Sometimes he'll see Luffy and they'll make out, it's rare but it does happen. Like everything is normal and even Robin is confused at the blond guy who sets himself on fire in Enies Lobby and then leaves with a wave. Zoro has no idea who the blond guy is- wait is that the fucking waiter?- at thriller bark. Brook asks Luffy about it and all he says is that's his boyfriend. Everyone is confused except Luffy.

Like there's this guy with this awful bounty that's close to Zoro's and during the time skip it keeps rising in a weird way, because this 'Black Leg' is looking for the Strawhat Pirates and somehow winds up destroying more than he thought he would in retribution. Shanks probably asks this kid what the fuck he's doing when he accidentally wanders into Red Haired territory and Sanji is like 'well Luffy is my boyfriend and he and the crew are missing' and when they're asking how Sanji joined the crew over dinner Sanji is explaining he's not, he's just following them to make sure they don't starve like his dad wanted. Which he can't do after Sabaody and Marineford so if they could give him some directions that would be cool. Except they don't and Sanji stares blankly at them as he leaves and lights a cigarette with his foot.

Once the crew reunites they think Sanji will join, he doesn't. At this point he's not even following them, he's like racing them. He'll leave food and a present with the poneglyphs from where he's been. Sanji is a fucking menace though but because of his abilities he's not exactly easy to spot. Luffy will always find him though. Always.

[twopoppies]

hey Gina

I'm so disappointed I don't even know where to go with this. I know going to Louis' merch team is useless because they're no help.

I honestly hate BSI. they handle both 28OP and his merch

I ordered a bunch of stuff from his black Friday merch sale. and only two things have been delivered so far. this morning I got an email telling me that three of my items were cancelled and refunded because they're out of stock. more than 2 months after I ordered. and the canceled items were the ones I was most excited about. including the DNA vest and a black fitf hoodie

it's just so shitty to never mention that shipping could take so long and then just cancel two months later. now I have to wait even longer for the last item and given how long it's been that will also probably end up being cancelled

things like this make it so hard to support Louis, honestly. like I should not have to fight to give him my money. buying merch should not be a hassle.

idk if this is also tied into him being blacklisted from air play and stuff but you would think that given that his career is being sabotaged on every end, he'd do his best to improve aspects that he can control.

even with 28OP and their drop around the new year or whatever, it took almost three weeks to get my items to me. and all the issues are on the warehouse end because once shipped, things arrive within 2-3 days but almost 3 weeks to ship is A LOT of time given the standards today. I can't imagine the average person who doesn't actually care about Louis buying from 28OP again given that kind of wait time.

sorry. I'm frustrated both by and for Louis. it's not fun waking up to an email telling you your long awaited order is cancelled

Don’t they also handle Pleasing? I know people have had an awful time with those deliveries as well. Or maybe I’m mixing things up.

Anyway, yeah. That sounds like an awful mess. And so disappointing. I’m so sorry. It must be incredibly frustrating for Louis, too. Maybe that’s why his drops have been so spotty. 🫤

[evilwickedme]

I just. Ugh. Oh my God. The fucking PARALLELS this season of Good Omens. Y'all know I'm an absolute fool for a good parallel, so to get so many? I'm so well fed today

Crowley and Azira are like, the definition of soulmates of the kind that are made, you know? Like there is no one single other being in the whole of Creation that shares even a fraction of the same experiences. Six thousand years in the making, this ship is - even more according to this season !!! And YET, they are absolutely brand new. They've never been in a romantic relationship - not with each other, not with anyone - and as Crowley pointed out, they've essentially just gotten out of toxic relationships with Heaven and Hell. Except like, not really? Because we see Crowley really got out Heaven so heavily traumatized he never really put all that much stock into Hell. Yeah, Hell might've still been abusive, but Crowley was halfway out the door the whole time. Azira, tho... He still buys into all of it. He's technically out the door, but he hasn't done any of the deprogramming you need to do in order to move on (I feel like I'm mixing my metaphors a little by using cult-related languages, but also abusive relationships are essentially two person cults, so)

And this season sets this dynamic up so perfectly with Nina and Maggie!!!!! And we're supposed to think that Nina is Crowley because she's dark and broody and Maggie is Azira cause she's frankly precious but really it's the other way around and it's Nina who finishes the season being like "I can't be in a relationship right now because I still need to work on myself having just ended an incredibly toxic relationship" and it's just. Nina and Maggie don't end the season together because that's not what they need right now and bc of that they might still be able to be together later, but Crowley and Azira hold onto each other SO DAMN HARD that they end up losing each other SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE AZIRA CAN'T DO THAT SAME THING OF UNPACKING HIS BASE ASSUMPTIONS it's like leaving a cult cause they were mean to you once but still buying into the new agey stuff they used to love bomb you into joining the cult in the first place

And so that's the relationship part of things but also we've got like soo many parallels showing how broken the system is in the first place and obviously ineffable bureaucracy is what stands out here because of the literal lines coming out of various characters' mouths during this plotline but can we talk about how heavily brainwashed Muriel is and how clearly they're supposed to be exactly like a young Aziraphale, one who doesn't "have" Crowley yet!!! Like tell me that if you gave Muriel a fiery sword and told them to watch over the first ever pregnant couple in history they wouldn't give them that Goddamn sword. Nobody on either side is capable of questioning their position in life without exposure to Something Else, but it doesn't have to be like, the being you're going to run off to alpha centauri with. It could very much be a copy of The Crow Road

(sidenote, has anybody read this book? It seems like an incredibly deliberate choice but I've never heard of it! I think I might send in an ask to Neil Gaiman himself if I don't see any meta soon)

Anyway yeah um. I don't know how to end this. Parallels and shadow selves fuck (double entendre)

[the-real-treasure]

Treasure Treasure!

An OPLA Sanji x Reader

Master List Here

Previous Chapter: Whispered Wishes and Demanded Dishes

Chapter Four: Big Big Top Trouble and the Risks of Show Business

Summary: In a big top in a ruined town, a man claims a map he didn't steal, steals a hat that was never his and when things don't go his way, ends up in pieces. Just another night in show biz.

Trigger Warnings: Trigger Warnings: Threats and descriptions of violence, Reader's Devil Fruit power is overwhelming and overstimulating, yelling, torture, drowning, being dowsed in sea water is akin to being drugged Word Count: 6,344 **Edited 12/09/24**

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

The only sound was the clicking of the safe, echoing across the empty ocean. At this time of night the water was barren of any other life, only the crew of your small sailing boat awake.

Luffy hung upside down above your heads, with you hovering next to Nami as she works. She glares up at him.

"Can you not do... that?" 

"Sorry. It's hard to sit still." He dropped his hat on to the deck and flipped down with it. Nami had turned her head away from him and was now staring at you.

"I noticed, you both have that problem." She muttered, eyes narrowing at your bobbing leg, heel hitting the deck in a continuous thumpthumpthumpthumpthump. You didn't hear her, staring at the deck and gnawing at the hard scar tissue peeking over the bandages at your thumb. Luffy stood and fixed his hat atop his head.

"I'm just feeling so.. so piratey!"

"Yeah? Well, you're gonna end up feeling watery if I have to throw you overboard. STOP. BOUNCING. YOUR LEG!" She gave you a hard whack. "I told you both I need absolute silence." You scooted away from her.

"I wasn't even doing anything."

"We know, we know," Luffy clambered up on the railing of the boat and began walking between the rigging, "Absolute silence. It's just that," You followed him and grabbed his leg nervously as he leaned over the bowspirit of the ship, "this is my first real pirate score. Can you believe that?" He twisted round to look back at the pair of you.

"Yeah, I can, because you told me right after you asked me, yet again to join your crew. I can't believe Y/n isn't a pirate though." You sighed.

"Again, why do you think that?"

"I dunno, maybe a combination of the suspicious bandages, the goofy outfit and the intense rage while fighting, how are you anything else?"

"I work in a restaurant, I literally just clean dishes and do stock orders." She eyes you suspiciously, and you shrug, "And occasionally tell rich clients they suck incredibly."

"And punch Marines!" Luffy chimed in helpfully.

Yeah, and punch Marines. Also," you flipped your jacket collar and pulled the flared skirt up to reveal the shimmery silk lining, "I have it on very good authority that I look cute."

"Authority from who, a blind seal?"

"I'll kill you and hide your body somewhere no one will ever find it."

"In the ridiculous giant pockets on your trousers?" You stuck your arms elbow deep into said pockets and glare at her.

"THEY'RE USEFUL FOR PUTTING THINGS IN!"

"Okaaaaay," Luffy calmed patting your shoulders as you snarled down at the orange-haired woman. "I was just thinking about how, when we're not fighting, we make a pretty good team." Luffy pulled you along to the mast before releasing you and leaning down over Nami's head to listen with her. "Is it open yet?"

"No." She gritted out. And can you please give me some quiet and some space?" With a whack, she knocks Luffy's hat off his head, the wind catching it. You and Luffy both lunge to catch it before it blows into the ocean, and you grab at the back of his shirt as he dangles over the side, arm outstretched. He had caught it, just. Pulling him back on to the deck he calls back to Nami.

"Hey. Not cool. Don't mess with my hat."

"Why do you care so much about that old thing anyway? It looks like you fished it out of the trash." He sits down inspecting it.

"One man's trash is another man's treasure."

"Will you three knock it off? I'm trying to take a nap" You glare into the small covered section at the back of the boat where Zoro was laying, having migrated across the boat a few times for prime napping position, hands behind his head.

"Oh I'm sorry, were we interrupting your beauty sleep?"

"Don't like what you see? Look away." You gagged and pretended to vomit over the edge of the ship. As you straighten, you hear the lock thunk and a gasp from Nami as she finally opens it. Twisting the handles, she pulls the safe open to reveal a map tube atop a confidential document and a bounty poster neatly rolled and tied with string.

"You did it!" Luffy breathed excitedly and she smiles at him, pulling out the tube and popping it open. She unfurled the paper and revealed the map depicting the portion of the Grand Line bordered by the East Blue, the islands littered across it labelled in neat but flowy script. Zoro walks up behind you all and pulls open the safe to look for himself.

"That's it? Isn't there supposed to be gold inside a safe? Or jewels? Huh, Treasure Treasure?" He rolls his head to look at you and you curl your lip at him. Nami scoffs.

"This is more valuable than gold. It's knowledge. This is a map to the Grand Line."

"The Grand Line! Ah," Luffy fixes his hat, "The Grand Line is just right... where is it exactly?" Nami looks between the pair of you.

"You're going there, but you two don't know where it is?"

"I know, it's," Your body pivots in place and you end up pointing south again. "Somewhere over that way." You shrug, "Just don't know, the specifics like."

"Guess I'll need a navigator on my crew." Luffy replied gleefully. Nami rolled her eyes and turned away.

Pulling out some chalk and sitting at the small hanging table, she started drawing.

"The seas are divided into four quadrants. East Blue, North Blue, West, South. This," she taps the squiggly drawing she had made, "thin strip of land that circles the globe is called the Red Line, and this," she draws a line curving though the centre of her world circle, "band across the middle is the Grand Line. A treacherous stretch of ocean with bigger islands, bigger cities, bigger pirates. Flush with riches and ripe for the picking."

"And that's where we're gonna find the One Piece!" Luffy cheered.

"I've taken out a lot of pirates looking for that thing. What is it? Like, a big diamond or something?"

"It's Gold Roger's treasure. He hid it somewhere in the Grand Line. All in one piece." Nami smacks the table.

"It's a myth. The reason no one's found it in 22 years is that it doesn't exist." Luffy smiled.

"Can't wait to see the look on your face when we find it."

An explosion ripples across the water, and red lights up the sky, pouring in through the small windows on either side of you.

"Is that the Marines?"

"How did they find us again?"

You all leave the cabin and stare up into the sky as red smoke starts falling around you, the scarlet cloud completely encompassing the sailing boat. Another whistling fire work cracks above you as the smoke starts to settle around you.

"This smoke smells weird." Nami and Zoro drop to the ground and Luffy runs back inside the small shelter. Without the door closed, hiding away is pointless, but you ignore his movement as you lean against the wall, head swimming and eyes watering as you peer desperately for your assailants through the thick bloody fog surrounding you. Dizziness overtakes you and you stumble backwards, falling limp to the deck and are stuck, watching with rapt attention as Luffy takes the map tube and slides it down his throat.

That's the last thing you see before the blackness dancing at the corner of your eyes as consciousness leaves you. Glowing gold pupils and swirling aqua irises snuff out like candles leaving only a milky white, and everything goes dark.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

You blink open your eyes to the wood of a crate. All of you were cramped into the wooden box, just enough room to stand between the four of you. Luffy leans over and shakes Zoro's leg while you and Nami shift back upright.

(helphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelp)

Although, it was just the four of you, there were more people outside. Their energy rippled through you and the air around you, their pleas fizzing at the tips of your ears. You were somewhere inside, with a few hundred people, and something was wrong.

"Hey." He pushes in close to Zoro's ear and whispers his name. Understandably, he wakes and flinches away from the proximity. He shuffles for a moment, then pauses.

"They took my swords."

"And my rucksack, ugh, with all my navigation gear." You and Luffy grab at your coat and hat respectively, both sighing in relief when they're still there.

"They didn't take my hat."

"Or my coat." Nami stared at you with narrow eyes.

(helphelphelphelpelphelphelphelp)

Your eyes were starting to water and your ears were ringing. There were too many people, all wanting the same thing.

"Yeah, small blessings. Damn it, we've lost the map." You can barely make her out as she speaks.

"No!" Luffy shoots up straight and bashes his head into the lid of the crate. "No, we didn't. It's in a safe place." He pats his stomach and Nami stares.

"Ew."

"Yea, not pleasant to watch happen, I'll tell you that. Hey!" You shouted as Zoro punches the wooden wall.

"Stop. Stop that, stop that!"

"What? I'm trying to find a way out."

"We've been captured, you absolute mossball. We've no idea who or what is out there. Or how many." you snap, head starting to pound as the people around you continued their panicked subconscious wishing.

"They're right, we need a plan."

"I don't need a plan, I just need to beat the hell out of every Marine I see."

"Hey, everyone, relax. We're fine."

"We're not fine. The Marines will throw us in jail if we're lucky. Execute us if they don't."

"They-they're not Marines. Before I got knocked out, I saw a Jolly Roger. We've been captured by pirates." You and Nami stare at Luffy as his words sink in.

"How does that make this fine?" Nami agrees.

"Yeah, because it's such better news."

"No, he's right. Marines have training. Pirates are easier to kill." You spin round to him.

"What pirates have you been hunting exactly? Pirates win against Marines constantly, that's why your title even exists!"

"Shanks used to say not every situation can be solved with violence." You watch him lower himself to the ground.

"Who the hell is Shanks?"

"Wait, Red-Haired Shanks? Of the Red Hair Pirates?!" You stare at him aghast.

"Yeah! You know him?"

"Barely. Are you mental? He's notorious! And hardly ever pays his tab!" Luffy smiled up at you.

"I said, who the hell is Shanks?" Zoro repeats.

"Don't worry about that. We don't need to fight. I can talk to them. Pirate to pirate."

"That won't work."

"Why not?"

"To start, you're not a pirate."

"Yes. I am. I have a crew." And he threw his thumb back towards you.

"No. You are some stretchy guy in a tattered hat, dragging around a blood-thirsty magic compass that barely knows what direction to point." You stare at her.

"Why are you insulting me, I'm not even talking?"

"You exist near me, that's enough."

"We're a different type of pirate."

"Pirates are pirates. There's only one kind."

The lid of the crate is ripped from above you as bright lights shine in. All around you, circus music blared and you all watched in a stupor while performers circled you and the box was lifted and removed by them. A fire breather is pushed in front of you and the audience cheers grow louder. Nami pushes Luffy's hands down from where they are applauding as well.

A man comes marching into the centre of the big top, roaring no.

"No, no! No! No! Stop clapping! No, stop! It's all wrong!" Complete silence falls in the big top tent. "The spotlight was late. You completely missed my entrance." He waved for the spot light to shine on to him, bright light revealing his swollen red nose, blue hair and clown costume. Uniform? "And where, oh, where was the dancing lion?" He got into the face of the terrified performer wearing a lion hood, who cowered away.

"Hey I know you. I saw your wanted poster in Shells Town. You're the clown guy. Um, uh... Binky, right?" You just barely caught the cackle before it left you, hiding it in a coughing fit instead. The captain snarled at you both.

"Buggy. Buggy the Clown." He said with a showman's smile. "Buggy, the Flashy Fool. Buggy, the Genius Jester."

"Wow. You have a lot of names." Buggy smiled mockingly at your captain before turning on you.

"This one, this one knows who I am right kid?" He leers down at you as you straighten. "Go ahead, tell your little friends," he swirls his finger in the direction of the other three, "who I am."

"Oh I'll tell 'em alright." Turning to smile at them, you say, "he's been barred from Baratie since it was founde-URK" He grabbed you by the neck and gave you a harsh shake. Your gut scrunches as the feeling in your chest pulses.

He drops you back to your feet, your eyes milky and irises flashing as his wish flashes through you. Hands flapping at his sides, he rounds back on your captain.

(A ship travels through the Grand Line, a black haired captain and moustached Jolly Roger at the helm)

"I bet everyone in the East Blue knows who you are." You winced back to reality for a moment as the audience gasps, side steeping away from Luffy as you rub at your neck.

"What'd you just say?"

"Just that everyone knows who you are."

(A grand podium towers over a crowd, the captain laughing as he insights adventure amongst the people below)

"NOSE?!" He screams, lunging forward and taking a grip of Luffy's face. You go to defend him, but pause as the circus performers start to move in around you all. You were surrounded. You grab hold of your wrist as it tries to lift in a point, finger outstretched and hands shaking. "Are you making fun of my nose?"

"Weww..." Luffy's cheeks and lips were smushed, making him hard to make out. "I wasn't. But now tha you mention it, is that thing fo real?" He reaches up to touch it, but his hand is slapped away by the clown. Another gasp rings out from the audience.

"What's real is I've been scheming for months, to steal that map from old Axe-Hand Moron..." he pushes Luffy away. "Only to find out, that I was upstaged by four little nobodies, who stole it from right out under my no-NO! It's in my head now. Ah!" He growls and storms off.

"Hey! I'm not a nobody. I'm Monkey D. Luffy. And I will be King of the Pirates."

(Two boys stand in the rain, one blue haired, the other red. A treasure left for another to find)

Buggy laughs, "OH! Well that's funny" the audience begin laughing pathetically along with the pirates only to be called to a stop. "My bounty poster graces the marquee of every Marine outpost for miles. And my menagerie of outcasts and freaks is the most dreaded pirate crew the East Blue has ever known. I am destined to find the One Piece."

(And when I do)

"And when I do..."

(I will be)

"I will be king."

"No, you won't, 'cause I'm gonna find it first."

"You? Don't make me laugh." There's no enthusiasm as the audience is riled into laughing again. Buggy turns on them. "I said don't make me laugh!"

"All right, listen up. I'm Roronoa Zoro. Drop your weapons now, and I may let you live." Buggy chuckles at him.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a celebrity in our midst. Too bad I hate sharing the spotlight." Metal screeches as the light is shifted back to him. "Now, maybe we should skip right to the finale." He pulls back his hand, revealing knives held between each knuckle. "My freaks put quite a bit of rehearsal time into this little abduction. And if I can't reward them with that map... I suppose I'll have to offer them a pound of flesh instead."

"Wait. Wait, what if I have something else to offer you?" Nami steps up in front of him. "Something more valuable than the map? What if I give you a new freak for your crew, and!" She reaches back, grabbing and digging her nails into the skin of your arm as you keep it held close, "A magic compass, that can point you right where you wanna go? A pair of rare talents. The most spectacular act in all of the East Blue. Besides you, of course." She laughs. Buggy raises his eyebrows at her. Your chest begins to pound again.

(FREEFREEFREEFREEFREEFREE)

"Go on." Snatching the hat from Luffy, she tosses it into the air, before throwing you headlong into the clown pirate as she makes a mad dash for the door. Your arm snaps up, finger pointing and strike Buggy in the face as you stand, frozen, your eyes misty and her energy rattles in your chest.

(A grove of orange trees and a windmill made from the peels)

Luffy's hand flys into the air, arm stretching after to catch his beloved treasure.

(A blue-haired girl chases her little sister, both squealing with laughter.)

Buggy stares at you both in shock. Nami is dragged back in by two of Buggy's pirates and is released in front of the captain.

"What did you do?! What did you do to their town? You destroyed everything!" Buggy is leaning against a barrel mindlessly.

"Not everything." He shrugs. " I let 'em keep their hands." As one, the entire audience begins to clap. "Okay. Here end the theatrics." All the spot lights dim and swirl down to focus on your crew. "I know one of you has my map, and I'm gonna get it back. What was it you said rubber boy? That it was in a safe place?" Luffy's eyes flicker away from him. "Don't look so surprised! I've got eyes and ears everywhere. So... Please make our guests uncomfortable in the green room." The performers grab Zoro and Nami and drag them into the darkness, leaving the rest of the crew to surround you, Luffy and their pacing captain. "I am gonna have a chat with my stretchy new pal. And, uh, work out just where you were pointing, little compass spectacular."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Luffy screams as he’s pulled tighter on the stretching apparatus. His yells turn to a laugh, and you stare, gobsmacked, at the length of his arms and legs, pulled taut across the centre ring. Buggy knelt on the ground near one of the stretched limbs, not far from where you dangled from the roof, arms suspended above you, toes barely touching the ground.

"I want you to think of this like an artistic exercise, because pain leads to art." You felt your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

"Good grief."

"And art reveals truth. But there's only one truth I need from this exercise. Where is my map?"

"Truthfully? I'm-I'm kind of hungry. Don't circuses have cotton candy?"

Buggy laughs and straightens with a groan. "What could you possibly need that map for anyway? You've got your magic compass," he wiggles his fingers at your dangling form. "You wouldn't last five minutes in the Grand Line."

"I already told you. I'm gonna be King of the Pir-"

"BORING!" The clown screamed in his face. He gestures to the man at the winch, "Let's go another ten feet." The rope groans as they go through the pulleys, tugging Luffy's arms out further and further.

"You can stretch me all you want. I can do this alllll day."

"I'm not asking the right questions. We need to go deeper, get you out of your comfort zone. You!" He spins to where you hang. "What makes a boy want to grow up to be King of the Pirates? Tell me about him, who is he trying to impress."

"Look Bluey,"

"Buggy"

"Whatever. You're asking the wrong person, I've known him, what, two-three days, Luffy?"

"I think so?"

"Let's say three tops, and ignore how long we were in that crate. I know he likes to eat, I know he likes that hat, and I know he wants to be King of the Pirates." You dismiss the memory of the red-haired pirate, his silhouette dark against the blinding sun. Instead, you wiggle your hands hopelessly, "That's about it." Buggy waves his arm towards the roof of the tent, and you're pulled further, toes no longer brushing the floor, bones creaking in your shoulder as he stalks around your kicking legs.

"Who was it? A lost love? An absent parent? Or was it someone..." He strolled back over to your captain, and you're slowly dropped back to just about standing. "...that you worshipped? A false idol?" Luffy's eyes moved away from the clowns stare and a smile grows on his painted lips. "That's it." He snatches the hat from Luffy's head and walks away.

"HEY! Give me back my hat."

"I used to know a pirate that wore a hat just like this. Red Haired Shanks."

"You knew Shanks?"

"Ginger? Three scars, left eye? We served together on a pirate crew when we were about your age. For a time, I even thought we were friends. Until he betrayed me. Just like all the others." He laughs quietly to himself. "He wanted to keep ME out of the spotlight! He wanted to keep my star from shining too brightly!" He pauses, staring at the hat, before turning to look at Luffy. "Is that what he did to you, Rubber Boy? Did Shanks betray you too?"

"Don't talk about him that way."

"Aahhhhhhh. Now we're finally getting to the truth. Stretch him until he breaks."

The man on the winch wheel hesitates. "Please, don't make me do this."

"I invite you to take part in the splendour that is my show and this is how you repay me? With a no?"

"You've destroyed our town. Made us your prisoners. Isn't that enough?"

"Well, maybe you'd prefer it, if I threw one of your constituents on the rack instead." He tosses Luffy's hat to the ground and moves over to the stands, approaching a little boy with open arms.  "Hey kid!" Buggy grabs the boy by the collar. "You wanna get tall fast?" You grit your teeth with a snarl and Luffy calls,

"Boogie. I'm warning you."

"It's. Buggy! And you're warning me? Now that's a laugh." He looks around disappointed. "I said that's a laugh." The lion performer holds up the LAUGH que card and the audience begins to laugh along. You and Luffy begin to pull against your restraints, you twist and flail, toes scrabbling against the dirt floor looking for any purchase on the just out of reach ground, and Luffy yells at the strain of pulling free of the ropes.

(hhelphelphelp)

(LETGO)

With a snap and a thunk, the leather binding your hands above you tears and you drop and stumble to your feet. At the same time, Luffy slips his hands from the rope and falls to the ground. Luffy clambers up and you're both glaring at the clown.

"Put him down."

(LETGO)

"But why? He's having such a great time! Aren't you junior?"  Buggy grabs a hold of the boys face and pulls it towards him. "YES!" He pantomimes the boy's voice, "THE BEST, BUGGY!" He laughs as Luffy reels his arm back for a 

"GUM GUM" the sound is like a rubber band, "PISTOL" His arm snaps forward.

And knocks Buggy's head clean of his shoulders.

The head is sent flying into the crowd, and they start to scream hysterically when it lands in a poor woman's lap. As the boys screams pick up a pitch, you scramble forward and rip the boy from the now headless body's grasp. He continues shrieking as you shuffle him up into the stands, returning him to his people and away from Buggy's still standing...

(I will be)

...not dead body.

"Well, well, well!" His head flips upright in the woman's lap. "Looks like we three have something else in common!" You join Luffy in the centre of the ring as his head pops back on to his neck.

"You ate a Devil Fruit?"

"The Chop Chop Fruit." He pulls off his long furred coat. "So you can slice me, and you can dice me! But I will always put myself back together again." And with a grunt his arms and legs disattach from his torso "Want to see what else I can do?"

Spotting movement out of the corner of your eye, you look over your shoulder to spot his disembodied hand holding a red ball. With a pop, red mist spills from it and with a one two punch, you and Luffy are back in the darkness.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

The sound of water pouring was what woke you up this time. You're in a glass tank slowly filling with water and force once, the entire world is...

(....)

Silent. No energy radiating through you. No residual whispers of people surrounding you endlessly hoping, hoping, hoping. Where the entire word thrummed with power and prayer, longing and light outlining every person, place and thing with a dream or a wish, now the world sat.

Dark, cold, silent.

Empty.

Buggy stood, staring down at you as you struggle to your knees. A thump from behind him grabs your attention. The noise is dull, like your head was wrapped with layers of cotton. You spot Luffy, also trapped in his own glass cell, also slowly being filled with the same water that was splashing over your head. You lick your lips.

It's salty.

"Don't both. It's seawater." Buggy turned from looking to you to your captain. "Hardly seems fair. All those wonderful powers rendered useless from a few splashes." He crouched down to be eye level with Luffy and you turn your head, eyeing the rows and rows of Buggy's captive audience seated in the dark around you.

(...)

Still dark. Still silent.

"Of course, you could always give me my map if you don't want to sentence your crew to dying with you in these tanks."

"My crew..." Luffy struggles to get the words out.

"Your crew?" Buggy chuckles. "You mean the ones that abandoned you? Just like Shanks did?"

"Don't." You shout over the water cascading over you, pulling his attention away for a moment. "Don't give him anything Luffy. We wouldn't abandon you! You're good, so stop projecting on him you coward of a clown!" He snorts and turns back to Luffy.

"Aww, did that make you sad?"

"They will come back for us." He answers quietly. "Y/n's right, they won't leave us here."

"No one's coming for you. Your only chance is to turn over that map, and if you do, I may have a very special place on my crew just for you."

With a grunt, Luffy begins to painfully pull himself up, snarling at the clown as he spits "Never!"

"Why not?!" Buggy smacks the glass but hurts his own hand, pulling away growling. "You're an outcast, just like the rest of us. A freak, scorned and abandoned! Join me... and you can serve the man who will become the King of the Pirates. When I have that map, I will find the One Piece, and then everyone will know my name. And they'll love me."

"Why would he choose," you call over the splashing of the water, "to serve you as King? When he's going to become it himself! You can't make people love you with the power of a position, or the fear of a title!"

"Just like you can't make them smile. I'll never give you that map."

"Well then. I guess it's curtains for you." Turning a large wheel on one of the pipes, the water starts surging from the pipes above you, filling the tanks faster and faster.

As Buggy pulls at the woven reeds of the hat, Luffy roar echoes over the waters' own, "DON'T TOUCH MY HAT!"

"What was that?" Buggy asked giggling "I-I couldn't hear you over all the drowning!"

The water is well over your head at this point, the curse of the Devil Fruit stopping you from floating. It's funny, for how happy you were that you coat was still on you when you woke up, you never knew how heavy it would get soaking wet. You can hardly blink your eyes open as you hear a 'clink' against the outside of the glass. Opening them a fraction you watch as cracks spiderweb up the panel, a roar of "WHERE ARE MY FREAKS?!" as it shatters under the pressure of the water inside. As the water spills across the ground, you are sent with it, the waves from both your and Luffy's tanks sending you skittering across the floor.

A pole stops you from going any further, and looking up, you see it is Nami's staff pushed against the ground. Grabbing your shoulder, she helps you up, keeping her eyes plastered to the cackling clown as he lifts the map tube that had finally escaped Luffy's stomach.

"Sorry about earlier," she whispers as you stand, brushing fragments of glass from your person, "the whole, selling you out to a mad clown thing."

"It's okay. I mean, it's not and I'll probably be mad for a bit 'cause that sucked, but we can say we're even for the whole, 'getting stuck dealing with Marines a second time in so many days' thing. I'm normally good at holding grudges, Sanji thinks I'm too kind to, but I think I'm just good at hiding it then he thinks. Maybe just stop actively insulting me and we'll be fine." She smiles ruefully at your blabbering and you turn to watch Zoro move towards Buggy.

"You want a piece of me? Let's see what you got."

"Zoro, he-!" But his sword had already swiped through Buggy's neck, his head bouncing up above the swing, "-'s a Devil Fruit user..." Zoro continues his advance, cutting though and across Buggy's chest, leaving smaller and smaller segments only for him to pull himself back together.

"Ha ha ha! Surprise shithead!" He twirls the tube and points it menacingly at your face, "Stop ruining this for me." Before his laughter begins anew, body separating more and more, pieces spiralling through the air of the big top as the light, the colour, the sound begins to return around you. It's back to overwhelming, but its what you're used to.

(HelpUsHelpUs) (StopHimStopStopHim) (Help)

You, Nami and Zoro end up back to back to back as the spinning segments surround and push you closer together.

"How I am supposed to slice a guy that's already in pieces?"

"This is not part of the plan."

"There was a plan?!" You're all yelling over the shrieking cackles of the dismembered Buggy as he spun around and around you.

You are pushed, punched, knocked and bumped over and over as the aerial swarm of body parts loop about, not one of you spared as Nami falls into the seating area, Zoro sends one of the tanks skidding on its side, you are rushed headlong into one of the support poles, knocking into a few empty prop crates as you go. Staggering to your feet, you watch as he reassembles and approaches the just barely upright Luffy.

"Well would you look at that. Somebody escaped my Tank of Doom. Well I'll be back to finish you off. Right after I tear apart your sad excuse for a crew. Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"You can dump seawater on me, and I'll let it slide. But don't you ever threaten my friends." You peer around the pole as, with a yell, he punches forward an elastic punch, knocking a perfect circle in Buggy's chest, which easily reinserts itself, leaving no trace behind.

"So you want to die first?" He pulls out his hands, all knuckles armed with a knife each, and you can't escape the thought of how cool it looks. "Be my guest." His arms and legs separate from the torso, and then the elbows and knees, then wrists and ankles, becoming a chain of arms and legs. "CHOP-CHOP CANNON!"

His hands, still laced with knives, along with the rest of his arms and legs going pelting at Luffy, who springs and flips and dodges through them with ease to knock into Buggy's torso. He doesn't stay there long though, as a swift kick from a disembodied foot, sends him rolling in your direction, hitting the same pole. A knife follows swiftly, stabbing through his beloved hat and pinning it to the wood. Eyes wide, he rushes to grab it as it falls to the ground, only to be knocked about by more flying limbs and a swift punch to the gut.

The same hands grabs him by the neck and pins him there, choking grip on his neck as his eyes roll and bulge. He makes eye contact with you as you duck another oncoming boot, and flash at something behind you. Spinning to follow his eyeline, you can make a guess at his plan and yell across the ring to your friends (he said it, they didn't deny it. You're all friends now.)

"NAMI!" Her ginger head peeks over the barrier to you and you point behind you, "The crates!" She hops the colourful barrier and sprints to join you, as Luffy flips upright and chucks the hand towards you both.

You lift one of the smaller chests and she swings the hand in with her staff. Dropping it to the ground you stomp your foot down on top as the hand thumps around inside. You do it again and again, working as a team to collect and seal away the flailing body parts. Luffy flings them towards you with his powers, Zoro catching them on with his swords and pinning them down, as you and Nami catch and lock them away in the pile of empty crates, chests and boxes surrounding you. Buggy yells as you lock away more and more of him.

As the madness dies down, Luffy lifts his hat and dusts it off gently.

"What've you done to me?" Buggy screams as his head drops to ground on his hands and feet, literally.

"Cut you down to size!" Luffy chirps happily.

"The One Piece will never be yours! You're just a s-sad lonely little boy wearing another man's hat!"

"What did we say about projecting Buster?" Across from you, Luffy smiles.

"I know exactly who I am. I'm Monkey D. Luffy." He affixes the hat on his head.

(And I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!)

"And I'm gonna be King of the Pirates." Buggy huffs as Luffy's arms stretch backwards towards the walls of the tent. "GUM GUM-"

"Whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa, wHOA! NO NO NO! Wait, wait wa-wait."

"-BAZOOKA!" And he snaps his arms forward, knocking Buggy's remaining parts flying, ripping a hole in the tent roof and sending him far, far away. With that, Luffy picks up the map tube and you all regroup in the centre. He hands it to Nami with a smile.

"You're giving this to me?"

"You're the navigator."

"Let's get out of this clown show." Luffy catches his shoulder as he goes to move away.

"Still one more thing we have to do." With a clap to his shoulder, he walks off, moving to the stands and pulling the chains free from their blocks. The lights click back on as the three of you move about the crowd, unlocking the chains at people's feet.

The older man, the mayor, looks down at Luffy as he works on the manacles on their legs. "Are you our new captors?"

"What?" Luffy looks up at him, confused.

"W-well, you're a pirate, aren't you?" Luffy smiled as he straightened up.

"I'm a different kind of pirate."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

A small dog snuffles about the feet of the mayor as he walks towards the pier your crew's small sailboat is docked at.

"We don't have much, but please, take this as a token of our... of our gratitude."

"You need it more than we do." Luffy replies, though he looks longingly at the food offering they had brought, and you all turn to walk to the boat. As you clamber aboard, Luffy pauses. "Well... maybe just a snack." As he grabs a piece of bread from the tray and stuffs it into his mouth.

The people call out their farewells and goodbyes as you begin to make headway back on to the open ocean, pulling open the sail.

Luffy watches you thoughtfully as you pull the straw through the hole stabbed through his hat, gently pulling it through to close the hole up. Nami looks up from reading the map beside you as the boat drifts languidly in the water.

"Looks almost finished." You hum back, concentrating.

The hole closed, you hand it back to Luffy. He took it with a smile.

”You fixed it. Thanks.”

”You said it was your treasure. You have to keep those safe.” He smiled at you, and from the back of the boat Zoro spoke up.

”Is everyday gonna be this crazy with you?” Luffy placed his hat on his head and moved down the boat towards him.

”Shanks always said, that if the path to what you want seems too easy… then you’re on the wrong path.” Zoro looked at him thoughtfully.

”This Shanks guy sounds all right.” Luffy stands again, hopping past you to stand at the prow, looking towards the horizon.

”Next stop, the Grand Line!!”

As you sailed into the sunset, all you could smell was sticky sweetness on the wind.

Next Chapter: Sweet Syrupy Lies

[lesmisshippingshowdown]

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS!!!

Hello everybody! I just wanted to say a massive thank you for the love for, and enthusiastic participation in, the Les Mis Shipping Showdown so far. It's been incredible to see so many people get on board with my silly little gag and I'm so excited for the tournament to continue playing out

HOWEVER - currently we are lacking in two very important things that only you guys out on the frontlines (on the barricade???) can help with.

1) PROPAGANDA

In 2009, Cheryl Cole dropped her debut solo single and changed lives by reminding us all that we've gotta fight, fight, fight, fight, fight for this love. I need you all to be more like Cheryl. Don't be discouraged if your OTP is currently losing - and don't become complacent if they're currently winning by a landslide. We're not even halfway through the round of 32 yet, and you - yes YOU 🫵 - can help turn the tides of battle by telling the world, in an easily shareable format, why your preferred Les Amis pair the spare combo deserves to take victory in this noble contest.

Examples of things you could submit as propaganda include: fanart, fanfiction, AMVs, clips or gifs from your favourite screen adaptation or grainy bootleg that prove your blorbos' love, well-researched meta with supporting quotations from the Brick, completely unresearched rants based entirely on vibes, etc.

Ways you can share your propaganda with the world include: appending it in a comment reblog (not whispering in the tags!) of the relevant poll, sending asks to this blog, submitting posts to this blog, or making an original post and tagging it #les mis shipping showdown. (<- please use this specific tag. we're not checking any others. if you just put it in the generic les mis tag or ship tag with no reference to the poll we won't know it's for us)

2) FANART AND/OR EDITS

As much as I loved trawling through Tumblr tags and Google Images (and editing a few really stupid stock photo memes) to find visual references for every ship in the Round of 32, this was a) very time consuming and b) not as collaborative a process as I'd like for a fandom wide enrichment activity, especially for a bracket that's SO chock full of fanon-based shipping.

So, in preparation for future rounds, we would LOVE to receive submissions of fanart and edits for your favourite ship(s) to be used - with credit, of course - in polls.

We are looking for submissions for ANY AND ALL SHIPS INCLUDED IN THE BRACKET, regardless of their popularity, the amount of canonical visual content (like screencaps and production photos), or how likely you think your ship is to make the round of 16. As I've already said, we're only partway through this round and anything can change, plus I have a little surprise planned for the eliminated ships anyway that could still use your artistic contributions ;)

Here's a reminder of the current bracket so that you know which ships we're looking for artwork for:

As a bonus, if you send your art to this blog or tag it as #les mis shipping showdown, it also counts as free propaganda for your ship!

FURTHER RULES FOR FANART & EDITS:

No AI-generated content. Not going to get into the discourse on this one, I just don't want to see it.

No NSFW art, including artistic nudity. This is a theoretically all-ages contest, plus random polls getting flagged as mature will just make sharing that specific match up a complete mare.

Please ensure any art/edits are formatted so that they can be added to the poll as one single photo.

If you prefer to be credited by a different pseudonym to the URL you're using to submit your artwork, please make this clear to us at the time of submission!

Again, if you're posting art with the specific intention of having us use it, make sure you specify that either in the caption or by tagging it #les mis shipping showdown. We won't know it's for us if it just appears with no comment in the general tags!

To keep it simple & avoid any suggestions of favouritism etc., fanart, as long as it abides by the other rules, will be used on a "first seen by mods, first served" basis. We'll make an effort to reshare all art that isn't able to be used in a poll proper either because you got there too late or because your ship got eliminated before we could get round to using it.

Thanks in advance and happy propaganda-ing! 💋

[lapdogchase]

saw ur recommendation for 3m aura n95s 👀👀 any advice on where to get them from? heading back 2 school in a few weeks and wanna stock up — tysm !!!!!

ok so!! my first recommendation is to see if there is a mask block near you, in my area it was CRANE (covid resistance action northeast), they're having trouble stocking and filling orders rn so mine took ~a month to arrive but the time would've passed anyway as they say . if ur in a more urban area ur a lot more likely to have one near u tbh, idk if it'd work but it'd be worth reaching out to the closest one even if they're not technically working in ur exact area just to see . here's a map of mask blocs worldwide- they're mostly in america (continent - but mostly in the US+canada) & europe (mostly in great britian) but there are some others too

otherwise the safest way to get some that are 100% not counterfeit is ordering directly from a supplier, but that can be expensive . project n95 is inactive now but theres still a list of suppliers there !! 3m is really good from experience . u can also get n95s/kn95s/p100 respirators from home depot if u have one near u- however the supplyaid kn95s they sell arent very good, i had them and theyre better than nothing but they only have a 67% filtration rate (as opposed to the 95% expected from n95s and kn95s - thats what the 95 stands for i was mindblown when i discovered this)

also while im thinking about it, part of the reason n95s are more protective than kn95s despite both filtering 95% of particles is bc the seal on the n95 is a lot more reliable than the kn95 :}

me personally ive been getting mine from amazon (not recommended) (i have gift cards there so im not giving them My money at least) and trying my best to make sure they're legit . i referenced the 3m n95 1870s i got using this twitter thread and they seem to be legit? on amazon it also usually says where it ships from and check the storefront, the reviews etc etc. i basically have to do an entire vetting process every time its very annoying ❤️ it is a lot less expensive though, especially if they have a sale going . (here are the ones ive been getting- the listings look the same as of rn but amazon changes them all the time so take this with a grain of salt, person i imagined reading this in 2027. link 1, link 2)

ive tried the holy trinity (new term i made up for the 3m n95 1870 (red straps), 3m n95 9205 (blue straps), and 3m n95 9210 (braided white straps)) -- ime the 9210 definitely has the tightest head straps and i have an abnormally small head on account of being 3 inches tall and born in a thimble all alone . so thats something to be aware of, if u have an abnormally big head the 3m auras might not be the best bc of the strap tightness .

SORRY I'M LIKE INFODUMPING AT U NOW ..!! i have more though . If you know anyone irl who masks asking them where they get theirs might help, they might know stuff locally. ALSO speaking of knowing stuff locally- i don't know if this is universal but i have a friend who's getting really into asian cuisine and a lot of asian grocery stores ive been to with her in my area have had masks. that's such a long shot but ive seen them five out of six stores ive gone to and never at, like, hannaford or market basket or whatever.

OKAY ONE MORE THING . when i got my free masks from crane (SHOUTOUT CRANE I LOVE YOU CRANE) they also sent a thing abt how to reuse them that i will add !! they can be used for like 40 hours if theyre not visibly dirty or the straps dont break or anything

okay i am done infodumping now SORRY THIS IS SO LONG..!!! tldr: local mask bloc if it's an option is definitely the least expensive, project n95 compiled a bunch of links to buy from suppliers, home depot/other hardware stores are worth a shot, and amazon's an option especially if you're like me (poor but have money stuck in amazon gift cards) 🫡

[chaosfairy18]

perchance some binch (buttons + finch) drabble??? they're my sillies and i love them so dearly /nfta

@finchesslingshott

First of all Hello!

I do have to say I don't really do much livesies/stage musical stuff (sorry) nor have I ever really done much thinking on Finch or Buttons even as individual characters nor as a ship (I prefer Redfinch) but since you've been so kind to send me an ask I tried my best. I really only have Hotshot as a recurring character in my writing and even then she is very different from canon Hotshot.

Buttons is Tadhg McCarthy (his canon name in UKsies) and he got the name because he 'has his buttons' (being smart) but I still made him sew. (Thanks to Nox for the UKsies infos <3)

Finch isn't even here that much but I write him mostly like my dear friend @clevereverest makes me think of him, I love her Redfinch writing

Mostly this is actually Buttons character study a bit and his friendship with another pickpocket who sews: Swifty. Because I am 99% 92sies focused and I needed to at least have one character I already know how to write.

Now enjoy: (750 words)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buttons wasn’t sure what to do with Finch always having some rip in his clothes. Naturally he’d help him, but he wouldn’t be happy about it. For most people he’d ask for a fee for patching their things up – if they didn’t want that they could go to someone else – but with Finch he regrettably couldn’t do that as they were close.

Didn’t mean he had to be happy about not getting a bit more money.

Admittedly he had gotten more than enough today by relieving some people of their change.

In the bunkroom – where his sewing kit was – there was only one other newsie, Swifty, apparently doing the same thing. They got along well – thief’s codex and all that – so he sat on the bunk across from him to do his own stitching. “Hey Swifts.”

“Buttons.” Swifty grinned his usual lopsided grin. “Finch again?”

Buttons groaned, looking at the ceiling. “Idiot tears his thin’s every day. Shirts, pants, hat. Last week t’was his socks.” Of course he knew partly how it happened, Finch climbed up some tree and the branches nicked his clothes, he fell down and scraped his knees, he got in fights and teared something else.

“You’d earn a fortune if ya actually took his money.” As much as his tone was teasing, Buttons had a feeling Swifty was thinking something more than what should be going on.

“Can’t rob ‘im blind like that.”, he just said dismissively, getting out his scissors and thread.

“Mhm.”

“What’re you doin’ anyways? One of the littles ripped somethin’?” The kids always tumbled around and Swifty was close to both Flipper and Tumbler – mostly through them being close to Skittery and Bumlets, who were his best friends – and he’d also do a lot for Boots or Snipeshooter, not to mention Splasher. Though Splasher would have come to Buttons for sure.

Swifty held the shirt he was doing something on closer to Buttons, showing a little cat on the hem of it, embroidered in black. “I’m puttin’ little cats on all of Skittery’s clothes to see when he notices. I’m runnin’ out of clothes actually.”

“Bold of you to assume he’s lookin’ at his clothes when he puts them on.”

“It’s still fun. Tumbler loves it, says Skitts is like a cat anyways.”

They talked a bit more, also about what they had stolen the last few days, laughing about some of the close escapes they’d had or reactions they got after stealing various things. Swifty even managed to get a whole dollar, not even wanting to show it, already having it stocked away somewhere. Not that Buttons would have stolen it from him… probably. It would have gotten him such good clothes and sewing equipment though.

It was tempting, but thief’s honour kept him from actually doing it.

A bit later Finch came in, just as Buttons was almost finished, looking eager to get his vest back. “You done yet?”

“Almost.”, he just said dismissively, Swifty snickering from his bunk.

“Let the man work. With how much you’re givin’ him one could think you’re doin’ it on purpose.” Before Finch could reply to that, Swifty had jumped up, shoved the newly embroidered shirt in Skittery’s drawer and quietly disappeared down the stairs, steps light as always.

Finch’s eyes widened a bit, and he looked apologetic. “I promise I ain’t doin’ it on purpose, Tadhg. Just happens.”

“Yeah yeah. You’re just a clumsy bird.” Jumping up, cutting off the last thread, he held out the vest, newly patched, almost looking like new. Or at least the same as before. “There you go. Don’t go and rip it open again, if you keep givin’ me that much business I will have you pay for it. Runnin’ out of thread with all this.”

“I’m sure you won’t lose your buttons though.”, Finch laughed, referring to how Buttons got his nickname, from having all his wits with him. Having his buttons in order, so to speak. It was one of the better nicknames anyhow, as it also fit with sewing.

Finch slipped into the vest and grinned, leaning forward and kissing Buttons’ cheek. “Thanks again, really. I’ll get you some thread or cloth or somethin’. Promise.”

He rolled his eyes. “Sure. Just don’t keep making people suspicious with all this. They’s bound to notice I treat you special.”

“Not that they’re wrong.”

“Finch.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He pecked his lips. “See you later.”

Buttons got to sew up two more of his clothes just this week.

[n7lebron]

The HG Witch From Mercury line continues!

I've unfortunately been sitting on this for a while now with life getting in the way but I'm back with more p-bandai exclusive Witch From Mercury high grades, this time it's the pair from the Prologue, the Gundam Lfrith Pre-Production and it's witch-hunting counterpart the Heingra!

Obviously there's a lot of shared parts with their retail versions but the Pre-Production definitely gets more of the love here. Quite a few new parts go into just the backpack and other than the lights for the Gund-Bits (which there are a lot of poorly fitting stickers for) it is perfectly color separated and opens as it does in the show. Shout-out to them actually making new molds to get the yellow in the chest part separated too. Beyond that you get it's very cool beam rifle, a few activated Gund-Bits and the same great articulation as the retail kit.

The Heingra is bit more boring by comparison, with it doing it's best GM impression. The Grassley suits are probably my favorite grunts from the show though so I'm a fan of it anyway. It's got another great beam rifle and a bigger shield than it's later variant, the Heindree Sturm. Speaking of, you do get nearly the full loadout from the Sturm as extra parts, only missing a part to complete it's shield, so if you want to you can give the Heingra a mix of equipment.

Again two great kits from this line which, at the moment of writing, are both available to buy right now on p-bandai, and they're in-stock (which means they will ship out immediately)! Well in the US at least, but still great news for anyone looking to get either one of these kits.

I do have one more kit to show just below the cut if you're interested...

It's the Gundnode! And I got two of them, how else could I create my own little data storm? Well in reality I think you would need like 300 plus of them to match the amount that created the storm towards the end of the show but 1. I do not have that kind of money and 2. they've only had two runs of it on p-bandai so far with a max of six I could have at this point. And yes it is another p-bandai exclusive.

Despite that fact it's an amazing kit, really nailing another one of my favorite designs from the show. This is very much a flying suit so there's not many ground poses it can do well, with that in mind though it's articulation is in line with the other WFM kits, which means it's great and really helps it shine in the air (also it does come with a stand).

The sticker sheet is a decent size to include the full range of Permet Scores to pick from, I have the deactivated black ones on here but you can also use Red (score 2+) or Blue (score 6+). Not too many accessories here, some long and short beam blade effects and again another great beam rifle (with an extra gimmick I didn't know it had), but the star of the show is the effect parts to make the connected data storm. Even with just two it takes up a good amount of airspace, any more than that and I wouldn't know where or how to display them so for now I'm okay with just the two.

With that I'm up to seven new WFM kits that are p-bandai exclusive, and with the Beguir-Beu Torche (a variant from the Vanadis Heart manga) coming soon along with the recently announced (and currently up for preorder on p-bandai) Desultor, we may end up with nearly all of the suits from the show getting a kit. Which is great! At the cost of them being p-bandai releases, which is not. Unfortunately I don't see that changing any time soon. Either way I'm happy we're getting these as kits at all.

Next time I'll have my most recent painted project, and it'll hopefully not take as long to post about. Until then, I hope you enjoy! ✌🏼

[kukurykunapatyku]

[I.D.: Drawing of Usopp and Vinsmoke Niji from One Piece. They're both seen from the side, circling around each other, Usopp is aiming his slingshot and Niji is brandishing an electrified sword. Usopp wears sniper king mask, red cape, green pants, brown shoes and blue-white arm warmers. Niji wears black cape with blue '2' on it, blue costiume and yellow-blue boots, he's smirking. /End I.D.]

Vinsmoke shipping week day 4: Red string / Hero x Villain

The neferious Germa group is terrorizing the streets, but fear not, because the great Sniper King is here to save you!

Strawhats are semi-superhero team. Luffy doesn't care about crime, it just happens that bad guys usually target his friends for some reason. Nami somehow convinced him to at least cover his face when they beat up guys on live television.

Niji gets a crush on two people at once and tries to deal with it in completly normal matter - by proving they're actually the same person (he's right).

⬇️Fanfic under readmore⬇️ also on Ao3

Niji carefully pinned the photo next to the others. He frowned, adjusted two more to fit the rest better and stepped back to admire his work. Photos, bus schedules, discarded papers, shard broken off the Sniper King mask, piece of fabric - all gathered together. There was just one thing to do and his board would be complete. He grinned, pulled out a ball of red yarn and began connecting the pins until they formed one massive web of evidence. And like a spider ready for dinner, he finally found that one fly that was pulling at its strings, and come to the single possible conclusion.

"And why, pray tell, do you think one of your regular customers is part of the superhero team? The one that always thwarts father's plans no less?"

"Don't you see?" Niji slammed the board. "It's all here!"

"All I see is an, admittingly ambitious, art project made of coincidences and stalking tendencies."

"Listen, it's too much to just be a coincidence, at this point it's proof."

Ichiji sighed and closed the book he was reading.

"Fine, lets indulge you. What proof?"

"First of, they drink the same coffee - both take exactly two sugar cubes, one puff of cream and two pumps of caramel syrup."

"Why do you know how Sniper King takes his coffee?"

Niji looked at him like he was stupid

"Because I asked him? He's my nemesis, I need to know those things."

"Your nemesis?" Ichiji stuttered. "Since when??"

"About two months ago; we were picking them, don't you remember? You took the witch."

Ichiji tapped his fingers on the table. That didn't sound right, he was sure if something like this happened he would have remembered. If they did it there must have been a purpose, but what? Battle strategies? Did father know? Was Ichiji supposed to tell him? And he picked the Weather Witch? What on earth could Niji be talking about-

Suddenly very tired, Ichiji put his hand on his face and slowly pulled it down.

"Niji. We played 'Fuck, Marry, Kill' about the Strawhats. How did this turn into nemesis thing?"

"Ain't that the same thing? Anyway, we're getting off track." He pointed at the blurry photo of a dark alleyway. "See?"

"See what?"

"Argh, do I have to do everything here? Look, here, it's Sniper's cape!"

Ichiji leaned forward and squinted. True, in the left corner, near the bins, there was something that could be a fragment of red fabric. Or an unlucky rat.

"I followed Usopp one evening and I lost him somewhere here," his finger followed one of the red lines until it reached a cutout of city's map, with big circle drawn in the middle of it. "But I'm sure he didn't walk much further, because he was carrying four of those babies." He tapped on the stock picture of an ice-cream package. "There were other shops on his way and he only stopped to buy them here." Next map had a red cross slapped on it. "Which means he was probably coming closer to home. Other stores in the neighborhood are over there, there, there and there. Since he didn't visit those, he must live somewhere before the road could reach any of them, or he would have just buy ice-cream there."

Niji looked at his brother expectantly. "See now?"

Ichiji blinked a few times. That was impressive recon work, and he could probably agree with him... If he knew what point he was even trying to make.

"So... you think the coffee guy lives somewhere between these streets." He pointed at the marked portion of the map. "But what does it have to do with your theory?"

"Everything! I just showed you, I found a piece of Sniper's cape next to the houses there, it's evidence!"

Ichiji massaged his temples and counted to ten. Did he have to do this? He could just leave. Maybe call Yonji so Niji could bother someone else.

But then, a voice in his head said, you have no excuse if father suddenly decides he wants an audience to hear about another freaking death ray.

If he had to listen to his family's ramblings...

"It's just red fabric, it doesn't necessary mean anything. Plus, your guy could be going to his friends house, or a party. Four boxes of ice-cream is a lot for one person."

Niji waved him away.

"Oh no, I know Usopp will eat it. He once told me he can do even five if he puts his mind to it. Calls it his 'depression repression' meal. And!" He pulled a clipped cloth Ichiji failed to notice before. "Sniper doesn't use any shabby materials! His cape is waterproof, fireproof, really hard to rip and can even withstand acid for a while. And guess what? This piece I took from the alley is exactly that!"

Ichiji sincerely hated that he actually started to consider this. "Still, you can't be sure. A lot of people live there. Plus, if I was trying to hide my identity, I wouldn't throw damming evidence with my garbage. It's more likely, if it even is the same material, that it was thrown there by somebody passing by."

Niji sneered, annoyed that the argument actually made sense.

"We all are hiding our identity; why 'if'?"

"Father's hightech company is one letter away from just spelling his evil codename, we lost a member around the same time Sanji, very publicly, left the family and we barely cover our faces when we go out. Are we hiding our identities?"

"It's different, we're rich. We can do whatever we want and so one will accuse us."

"That just proves my point. I doubt Sniper can afford being find out, so he's probably more cautious handling his leftovers."

"Maybe he's rich too, you don't know that. I mean, he's not since I know it's Usopp, but. Well. Doesn't matter, because I have even more evidence!"

He gestured at another portion of the board, with two papers on it. One seemed to be a photo of Sniper taken in the middle of battle, even more unfocused than the others. The other was a printed selfie of darkskinned guy around 20 years old, with long curly hair and wide smile. But the first thing that caught attention was his- Oh no.

"As you can see," Niji gloated, "they have the same nose!"

Ichiji slammed his forehead on the table.

The twin bang could be heard across the city, in an unkempt apartment (that on paper was shared by five people, which really downplayed how many actually passed by it).

"For the last time Usopp, your favourite barista is not Dengeki Blue just because the hair match!

[pongnosis]

ponggggggg bestie do you think yassen names his guns. DO YOU THINK ROSS NAMES HIS KNIVES. i think yassen would be a little averse to the whole naming thing considering hunter told him not to refer to his victims by names because it made them human. i feel like he would internalize that and think of his guns as mere weapons, as convenience, as tools and nothing more but still i'm sort of curious because some part of me also thinks he could name them. idk. he was petty enough to become an assassin just to spite him and the fact that he has a fav gun??? [it was a beretta right?] but this is also somewhat a useful tip. idkkkk im sleepy and feeling rambly and im making it your problem. also i bet gordon gives them the goofiest or the most poetic names. no in between. man's got a sense of humour but also has that shitton of history ping-ponging [heh] around in his head. anyways i think i'll go & try to catch some sleep. byeee <3

I think the only sentimental thing Yassen might have is the Fer de Lance, and that's one hundred percent headcanon, given that she might as well be a charter (or SCORPIA-owned) based on the information we got on her in Eagle Strike (look, I like ships, don't ship-shame!). I just really like the idea of Yassen having one thing that is his, and the unwelcoming looks of her, the tinted glass in the windows, and the name all seem like something he'd like. Everything else, especially his weapons, I think he has a very pragmatic approach to. They're something to be used and discarded if necessary, chosen based on the needs of the operation, and little else.

… except the Grach. I HAVE OPINIONS ON THIS ONE.

So. SO. Eagle Strike, page 49 in my version (Walker Books 2015 edition, from the box set, so who knows what the line originally said, but I've only ever seen the Grach referenced in fandom): "The gun was a Grach MP-443, black, with a short muzzle and a ribbed stock. It was Russian, of course, new army issue."

This is yet another enty in "Why Timelines Are, Like, Vibes Man", the ongoing saga by Ahorz.

The Grach MP-443 (wiki link) was developed in the nineties but didn't enter service until 2003, and while it was adopted as the standard sidearm, this did by no means happen immediately. It took YEARS for mass production to really start. For years after, there were - and still are - other Russian guns that were in far more common use and much easier to get a hold of for Yassen, who would presumably want to replace his gun fairly regularly to avoid inconvenient evidence.

Ignoring the timeline issue of exactly what year the books are set in (and whether the Grach was even in actual production by then), it seems like a very deliberate choice by Yassen. The Grach is not the best gun out there. It's not the most reliable, not the easiest one to find, not the most common (and more anonymous). It was, however, the new standard sidearm for the Russian military - the country that took everything from Yassen - and going out of his way to choose a weapon that most of the Russian military still hadn't been issued, one after the other to discard of when they became evidence, seems just like the sort of deliberately petty move he would like. A subtle 'fuck you' to his former home.

ALSO. I agree, Ross absolutely names his favourite knives. He'll rant about the bad ones if you get him going, but his favourite, most perfect knives, those get the adoring names. He's so the type to have an original V-42 stiletto in beautiful condition that he's named Rose.

[juiceboxscans]

Where to buy raws and manga

Updated: With the anime coming (MON) October 7, 2024 and Volume 8 being released in English September 2024, and Volume 9 coming April 2025, we are reaching the end of canon content. Please support the mangaka if you are able by purchasing physicals and voicing your support for the work where you can.

How do I support something when I can't even get it?

It can take a little work. Ask your local bookstore to stock Yakuza Fiance: Raise Wa Tanin Ga Ii, special order the manga where possible (bookstores pay attention to enthusiastic fans who place special orders), put in requests on websites, reach out to your local manga publishing companies.

Hi fellow Raise fans! Thank you for the follows and reblogs. Can't say enough how much we appreciate knowing our work, however imperfect, is appreciated. We will keep doing our best!

While you wait for the next update, and if you can afford to do so, we hope you'll consider purchasing the raws or physicals of the manga. It's so good that it's worth owning, we think, and if you can afford it you won't regret it!

With that in mind, we have some resources for you.

Please note: These are not affiliate links and clicking on them does not benefit us in anyway. This is for you in case you are inclined or are able to buy this fantastic manga!

Physicals

Please note:

Volumes 1-8 are now available for purchase

Volume 9 April 2025

Earlier volumes are often discounted up to 25%. Click bolded text to be taken directly to RWTGI book pages or other helpful information as noted.

Barnes & Noble Amazon Seven Seas Publishing (the license owner) Penguin Random House Pika Edition (French)

Note: We know RWTGI is also licensed in Spanish and Korean among other languages but we do not know the publishing houses. If you do, please comment and if not please be patient while we update.

Kinokuniya is a Japanese bookseller with locations in 12 countries (includes the UK, southeast Asia, Australia, and the US). They carry Japanese and licensed English volumes. Pre-orders can sometimes come with a premium like an art sketch. Click for locations worldwide. They ship!

Secondhand volumes are available on Walmart's site, Thriftbooks, and Alibris. They are also available from various eBay sellers.

While you're at it, consider getting a copy of Konishi's first work, Haru no Noroi (or Haru's Curse) It's a great story and a heartstring-tugging read.

Digital

For Japanese: Click on the bold underlined text links and enable your browser to translate. If you are using Chrome there is a free translation extension in the Microsoft store.

For a monthly manga subscription: Kodansha Afternoon has a really nice monthly magazine which includes Raise and other manga.

For single chapters: Kodansha has the COMIC DAYS site. New members get 100 coins to start-- each chapter is between 60 and 80 coins. Chapter 1 is free and more recent chapters are free for a short time a few months after their release.

For ENG (US only):

For single chapters: Kodansha's app K MANGA. One of our friends on the RWTGI fandom Discord tested it and you can get the first 9 chapters for free, another 3 for free around 13-14, and every month or so they unlock another chapter. For $1 you get 99 tickets to 'rent' a chapter (like you own it but you can only read it on the app, isn't Digital Rights Management fun?), you can also 'earn' tickets each time you log in, and currently they have a promotion going.

Unfortunately this is only available to US residents as of this writing. If you have Twitter, give Kodansha a shout and let them know what complete bollocks/bullshit this is: KMANGA_KODANSHA

Here's where we cover our asses!

Don't repost our work, don't retranslate it, don't make us another casualty of copyright law. Kakao and other publishers are currently cracking down on 'M' scanlator sites and doxing site admins.

So please: Be chill so we can just enjoy this thing together. Thanks!

Happy shopping and thanks for your support! 💞

[thelongestway]

So, two structural notes: 1) Probably not splitting this into two stories; 2) But also sat down with a friend and figured out the legalities around the ships, so there'll be one more story about them.

Also mobile posting, possible formatting issues ahead as always. :P

Chapter 9: Movie Night

There were good news and bad news about the training regime Dandelion and her humans came up with for ART. (Well, not exactly 'came up with'. It turned out that even regular node ships had to be taught how to use their wormhole drives, so there was an existing program to adapt.) The good news was, fully 70% of what they did was familiarizing new ships with their bodies by making them run physical courses in normal space and do manipulation exercises inside their hulls. Which ART blew past like they were nothing.

(Brisote looked at its results and said, "I'm glad we didn't get into a fight with you, Perihelion. You have no business being as fast and precise as you are."

ART preened. "That is exactly my business. Perhaps your ships could learn from me."

"That's not a bad idea, actually," Brisote added something to kes datapad.)

The bad news was, the other 30% sucked for everyone involved. Because that was the part where ART had to remain in close contact with as many other organic (preferrably but not exclusively construct) minds as it could, and experience things through their filters as much as possible. And Dandelion's psychologist insisted that the humans talking to ART had to know about what it was for the idea to work.

"I'm sure I don't need to explain the importance of authenticity for psychological health." Joscelyn had said. "Besides, for our crew a node ship is nothing out of the ordinary. They could fill this need for now."

ART's crew was pretty uneasy with the idea of so many people knowing about it anyway, and so was I. There was no way we would be able to keep its existence a secret for long with that kind of operational approach.

Joscelyn agreed it was a reasonable concern, and proposed to blame any resulting weirdness on the Trellians. "We're the people who talk to ships and stations. We'll lean into that, make a bit of a show of it, even where we normally wouldn't, and hide Perihelion amongst the forest. Loud complaints about our strange customs will do the trick. If in doubt, mention the funerary cannibalism, and I promise you the ship will be forgotten."

"The what now," Seth said blankly.

"You see?" Joscelyn beamed. "My point exactly!"

(What the fuck, ART said in our shared channel. I added my own tap to its comment. Because really, Dandelion, what the fuck was wrong with your humans?

It's not nearly as prevalent as it used to be, she said with the bot equivalent of a shrug. Most of our founding colonists were Texan, and they had strong taboos around the dead. But since the early node ships were largely of Earth Arborean stock, the fleet has kept the tradition. A few of the younger ships do use a more metaphoric variation, which I think is a loss. It is a greatly comforting ritual if done right.

This was a human tradition? ART said. I could see it re-evaluating some of what it thought about humans in general.

I grew up with it.

This explained a lot about Dandelion.)

Disgusting and disturbing human traditions aside, this was still a very shitty idea security-wise (I estimated the chances of a leak at about 40-50% percent within six months and rising, which Seth hated), but it wasn't like we had much of a choice. So that was how we ended up with the two research transports docked to one another as their engineering crews figured out how, exactly, Dandelion would tow ART into the wormhole for the actual drive training (which would be her making the first few jumps and ART observing, and then the other way around). And while they were getting that ready and running even more tests, there was a perpetual Movie Night happening on board ART, where Dandelion's and ART's humans took turns showing it media around the clock. (Not counting the time it took for ART to process what it just saw. Which was more time than I had expected).

(And ok. Maybe I lied about 'sucking for everyone involved'. The humans loved the idea of showing someone new their old favorite media which everyone else was very tired of. So it wasn't that bad for them. I could admit that.)

The part which sucked was that either Dandelion and I had to accompany ART, letting it ride our feeds so it could learn from our emotions as they happened. (I really didn't understand Joscelyn's explanation about why emotions specifically were so important to constructing navigation subroutines, so I had to ask Bharadwaj about it. She said basically the same thing as ke did: that for humans, emotions were basically a compressed reaction protocol to everything that happened in the environment, and they let humans engage a lot of separate systems in immediate concerted response. When she put it like that, it made sense ART would need to learn how to use a similar type of processing.)

(Then I asked Dandelion if that explanation worked, and she said, On a theoretical level, that is approximately correct. But on a practical one, the explanation is much simpler. The jump is terrifying, and Perihelion needs to learn to work through terror. Or it will never come out of its first solo jump.)

(You see where this is going.)

Yes. We had humans showing us their personal favorite worst media. Just the scariest and most awful shit they could come up with. (And it turned out that humans came up with a lot of disturbing media.)

After the very first day (during which I had to stop Dandelion four times, which she did, immediately. At least that hadn't turned out to be a problem), ART had to run diagnostics for hours, and Dandelion said to me privately, And here I thought that Perihelion's problem might be callousness. I was very wrong.

I had also been running diagnostics that would tell me whether I would have processing glitches during my own recharge cycle after all this, and they were coming back inconclusive. So I glowered at her.

Do we really need to do this? You've seen my records. ART's already been through some terrifying shit and it was able to act just fine. I think it can handle a wormhole jump with organic processing.

Dandelion considered it, then said:

If there were a less painful way, I would have taken it. Neither Joscelyn nor I like that we are taking an activity the both of you use for support and turning it into a source of stress. But there aren't really reasonable alternatives on the time frame we need. She paused, then added: I'll see what I can do about adding more restful media into the mix. I just hope the ups and downs do not make it worse for Perihelion.

I understood what she meant. I didn't even feel like watching Sanctuary Moon after this. Like those stupid shows would taint it somehow. Neither did ART want to watch Worldhoppers.

And the approximate time frame that the psychologists were expecting for this was at least a couple of months.

This was going to suck.

[swan2swan]

Last night's dream was weird.

First off, I think the first episode of Chaos Theory Season Four leaked. Not Season Three, Season Four. But before we watched it, someone was talking about how "anyone who was investigating during the writer's strike" would know that there are going to be four seasons, and that season three will take place in "the valley in Italy", and season four will take place in Montana. Which...would be kinda cool.

Anyway, the episode started with the kids all hiding at some fancy plantation-style house at a Biosyn party. Or something. I had to play a stealth game and get Darius around a table without being noticed by Biosyn security.

A lot of the details are fading, but they were with some young man/kid who was letting them all hide in his room. He was kind of a scruffy-looking kid, tousled black hair, pathetic mustache and beard. Also, apparently he was the son of the plantation father and the maid (because I think the supermodel mom couldn't have kids). It was a pretty heavy plot. I'm pretty sure there was some setup for this guy to get shipped with Kenji.

Anyhoo, for dinosaurs, there was a dinosaur fight scheduled for entertainment outside: Toro vs. a Ceratosaurus. The Ceratosaurus won and I think Toro died.

Kenji called Darius out for wearing only one outfit, to which Darius angrily replied that it's a white-T-shirt and blue jeans, you think he only has one white T-shirt and one set of blue jeans?

Ben was stocking up on snacks, as he does. I think his girlfriend was there?

I don't think Yaz and Sammy had any lines. I don't even know if they featured in the episode outside of group shots.

Then they all snuck out and onto a truck or a bus that would take them to Biosyn's secret lair for the rest of the season. I think Brooklynn was hanging out at a table, just typing on a computer. Wearing that black shirt and those necklaces, because she's Evil Now. Think she spotted Darius but didn't say anything.

I don't remember if any dinosaurs actually showed up besides the dinosaur fight, but it was a good, tense episode.