#anyways the day after i texted her asking how she liked it
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47lake · 3 days ago
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pretty on camera
you looked over at the alarm clock on your side table. it read 12:38 am, you were up late studying for a surprise exam you have tomorrow that you just found out about today, super fun. you couldn't focus, you kept thinking about her, you knew you shouldn't. billie was your closest friend, besides she doesn't think of you that way, why would she? you were mulling over the idea of giving up and calling it a night when your phone screen lit up the room.
bil
wyd
sent 12:43 am
could she hear your thoughts? you sat there for a moment thinking of a response.
not much, just studying
fuck me i hate this class
sent 12:44
you watched those three little dots pop up and go away for what felt like an eternity. did she fall asleep? why won't she just send her message?
bil
well damn i've been trying 😒
sent 12:49
your stomach flipped. she's just kidding. she has to be kidding, right?
don’t play with me
sent 12:50
bil
why not? you'd like it anyways 🥱
sent 12:51
you quickly locked your phone and shoved your face in your pillow. did she really just say that? is she really doing this? is she drunk? what is going on???
you picked your phone up and watched it ring, your heart was already beating from the texts but now you’re expected to be able to actually talk to her?! you slowly pressed accept and held it up to your ear.
“hi.” you could hear her smiling, her voice always changes when she smiles, “hey,” you say a bit too excitedly. your face and ears heat up, how could she get this much of a reaction out of you so easily? “so what are you up to?” you practically blurted out, maybe if you filled the air your mind wouldn’t run with all the ways ways she could tou- “not much,” her voice cutting your thoughts off, “i was just thinking.” she could tell you were nervous, and you hated it. “thinking about what?” you heard her chuckle, she could be so cocky “oh you know, this and that.” you stared at your wall, “you’re the one that called me, you remember that right?”
she went quiet for a second, you were shocked. usually when you make a crack at her she’ll tell you to shut up or make one back, what was up with her? “sorry, you just make me nervous sometimes.” you could tell she was embarrassed, you were surprised. she never acts like this, usually it’s all “i’m so cool and tough blah blah blah” it worked for her though, she could pull off anything she wanted to, even your- you zoned back in remembering she’s on the other end of the phone.
“only sometimes?” you asked, trying to seem unbothered, and failing unfortunately. “actually i meant to say you make me nervous all the time pretty girl” your entire face heated up after she said that, you covered your mouth in disbelief she was actually talking to you like this. “you there?” she asked, she knew you were there, hell she was practically giggling at the way you were reacting to what she was saying. “yeah i’m here,” putting your head in your hand when you realized you just stuttered when you answered her. she’s gonna have a field day with this. “something wrong?” you heard her smile, god why is she so fucking cocky. “no nope! i’m totally fine don’t worry,” too much. she definitely knew now. fuck.
“can i tell you something?” why was she asking you, you both knew she was gonna tell you anyways “i think about how pretty you would sound all the fucking time.” you heard a gasp fall out of your mouth. you couldn’t think, “billie..” did you really just say that?? god you really hated how easily she got to you. “you like that?” how is she so fucking hot so easily, she isn’t even trying. “yeah,” it’s like your mouth had a mind of its own. you could feel yourself soaking through your panties, if she could see you like this you knew she would love it.
you pulled your phone away from your ear as it lit up with a facetime request. your mind raced, picturing what was about to happen. you pressed accept.
quickly you saw her face pop up on your screen, you smiled without realizing. "someone's happy to see me." you rolled your eyes knowing she was right, "shut up." you propped your phone up, putting most of your body in view as you sat up in your bed. you watched her scan you over, there wasn't much to see. you were in a off the shoulder sweatshirt with some pj shorts, nothing exciting. however she seemed to be utterly captivated.
"fuck," she said quietly, taking you in. you still weren't sure how your current appearance was this exciting. "take your shirt off." you sat there in shock, "what?" making sure you heard her correctly. "i said take your shirt off pretty girl, come on you can listen can't you?" your face went hot but you did as she said, you could feel her gaze against your skin as you tossed the shirt to the side, revealing your bare chest. "god you're so perfect, you have no idea how long i've wanted this." you felt the heat between your thighs start to pool in your shorts. she hadn't even done anything yet, how were you getting this worked up??
"did you hear me?" she asked, fuck were you really that zoned out?? "I'm sorry what'd you say?" she laughed and you hid your face in your hands, making it obvious how nervous she made you. "i asked how bad you want me." you gasped and felt your whole body heat up, "can i show you?" you asked quietly, she nodded and watched as you pulled your shorts and panties off, leaving you fully exposed.
you slowly trailed your fingers down and started circling your clit. "i think about you fucking me all the time billie, please." her gaze low as her eyes darted around your body, trying to take everything in. "you are so fucking good, you look so beautiful." you giggled now that she was the flustered one. "go faster," wow, she regained her composure quick. you did as you were told and started to moan out, imagining your fingers were her's. "look at you, so desperate for me, you've wanted this for a long time haven't you?" her words sending shivers across your skin, you loved how she was talking to you. "you look so pretty on camera." you moaned her name and she started to breathe heavier as she watched you dip your fingers into your center, easily sliding in. "look at how wet you are, all this is just for me?" your back arched and your free hand gripped the sheets beneath you. "yes billie, it's just for you." you started to pick up momentum and she watched in aw as you fucked yourself for her to watch. you felt a knot forming in your stomach, biting your lip as you body began to shake. "what do you want?" you whimpered, she knew what you wanted but you were too shy. "i want you to say it sweet girl." you whined as you tried to hold it together, "please let me cum for you billie, please." you watched her cocky grin come back, "i love the way you beg, go ahead pretty girl. make a mess just for me." you finally released against your fingers, laying back as you tried to catch your breath. "that's my girl."
i’ve tried to post this like 20 times istg
thank you for the request! hope you enjoyyy, send any reqs to inbox!🖤
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luvismenu · 3 days ago
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09 — miss your touch ✎ ,, index
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nsfw warnings: kissing.
note: she's not pregnant you guys dw 😭
wc: 3.4k
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a week.
it's been a week since you've seen jungkook.
there were a few texts from him, asking if you were okay, but nothing beyond that. you answered with short replies; a yes or a no. sometimes, you asked how he was, and he'd say he's okay. but there’s a clear shift now, an invisible line drawn between you two.
a line you’d already crossed once but now seem to be retreating behind. back to where you started; strangers who just happened to share something.
you might’ve overreacted.
the thought stings, but yeah, maybe you did. he wasn’t even that late. you believe him when he said he had to deal with something. that something being a female, it’s not like he hid it. still, for reasons you can’t explain, just thinking about it makes you roll your eyes.
but he came straight to you after that.
and you know jungkook doesn’t lie. at least, that’s what you’ve learned about him in these two months.
two months.
it’s been two months, and yet here you are, acting as if he’s yours.
he isn’t.
and that’s good. you don’t want a relationship. you never did. relationships are nothing but unnecessary stress or drama. or at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.
you can’t let jungkook fall into the “relationship” category. but calling him your casual fuck buddy feels off, because you’re both closer than that now. thinking of him as just a friend, though... that feels wrong. unnatural, even.
it’s so complicated.
it shouldn’t be. but it is.
sometimes, it feels like he doesn’t care. you wish he’d show more emotions, something more than his usual calm, nonchalant demeanor.
it feels like you’re the only one overthinking this while he’s just... fine. unaffected.
why do i feel like a wreck? is it just me? you wonder.
you don't wanna miss his touch.
you don't wanna miss him.
but you miss him more than you want to admit.
and now, you don’t even know how to approach him. things feel so awkward. you’re not sure how to cross that line you’ve suddenly drawn.
a week without seeing him feels like forever. especially when, for the past two months, he’s been part of your every day. whether it was texts or calls, he was there.
which is why you’re here. at the business expo everyone’s been working so hard for.
you don’t know much about it, just the bare minimum yoongi mentioned. apparently, other majors can attend as long as they say they’re interested in learning something.
as if. you would never attend something like this.
but for him? for jungkook?
you’re here anyway.
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jungkook feels like a wreck.
he misses you.
a lot.
but at the same time, he thinks he needed that break. from everything. a week isn’t much, but it gave him enough space to clear his head.
iseul tried to contact him again. he blocked her number.
then she tried to approach him in person. he blocked her out of his life too.
he knows she’s probably furious, and maybe even hurt, but he couldn’t let her keep dragging him into the same cycle. not anymore.
“jungkook, i’m sorry, honey, i didn’t mean to snap at you that day—” she said, her voice was soft, almost pleading.
but he cut her off, firm and final, his words heavy but deliberate.
“i think it’s for the best if we move on now.”
he couldn’t believe those words came out of his mouth, but for once, he didn’t regret them. saying it felt like a weight had been lifted, one he’d been carrying far too long.
it wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
now, though?
all he can think about is you.
you told him you were fine now. the conversations between you two since then have been brief, surface level, and awkward. it feels like a wall has been built, and though neither of you acknowledges it, it’s there.
jungkook wishes you’d talk to him soon, break through whatever tension is lingering.
when you told him to leave that day, he froze for a moment. it stung, but he understood. if you needed space, he’d give it to you. the last thing he wanted was to make things harder for you when you were already unwell.
but he feels awful.
all he did was add to your stress, and now the guilt is eating at him. he’s ready to do anything—absolutely anything—to make things right with you, to hear you say you forgive him.
yet, it feels strange.
why does he feel this way about you?
whatever this is between you, it was supposed to be no strings attached. that was the deal. you both made it clear from the beginning. but somewhere along the line, things shifted. you’re not just a hookup to him anymore. you’re so much more than that, though he’s not sure how to define it.
he wonders if he should set boundaries, remind himself of what this arrangement is supposed to be. but it’s hard—impossible, even. every time you’re together, he’s drawn to you. it’s like you’ve got this pull on him, and he doesn’t even want to resist it.
he doesn’t wanna miss your touch.
and right now?
right now, he just misses you. everything about you.
“jungkook, is that you?” a voice cuts through his thoughts, pulling him back to the present. jungkook turns, searching for the source of the familiar voice.
“ah, it is you!”
his lips twitch into a smile when he spots the person approaching him.
“jin hyung,” he says, a little surprised to see him.
jin strides up to him, pulling him into a firm hug and patting his back.
“took you long enough to show up,” jungkook says as they pull apart, raising a brow.
jin lets out a dramatic sigh. “had to deal with things, you know how it is,” he says, waving a hand before flashing a grin. “but hey, i’m here now, aren’t i?”
“yeah, you are,” jungkook replies, shaking his head lightly, though the smile on his face betrays the faint scolding in his tone.
“oh, come on,” jin says, feigning offense. “is that it? is that all the welcome i get? give me a proper one! i am one of the guests tonight, after all.”
his grin grows wider, and jungkook can’t help but chuckle at his hyung’s playful energy.
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where is jungkook?
you're in the auditorium, surrounded by bustling booths, neatly arranged tables, and groups of students passionately discussing their projects. you didn’t realize business majors went all out for an expo like this.
you feel like yelling his name at the top of your lungs. you've been walking around, searching through a sea of unfamiliar faces, but you can’t find him anywhere.
“uh, hey,” you say, tapping a guy’s shoulder, interrupting his conversation.
woah, this guy has really broad shoulders.
he turns around, and you’re momentarily taken aback. the man is tall, dressed in a suit that looks like it was tailored for him, glasses framing his handsome face, and hair styled perfectly.
“yes?” he asks, polite but slightly curious.
you hesitate, then decide to go for it. “do you know where i can find jungkook? i mean, jeon jungkook? he’s supposed to be here somewhere,” you say, unsure if he even knows who jungkook is. but you’re desperate now.
his lips curl into a small smile. “why, of course. i was just speaking with him a few minutes ago. he excused himself to use the restroom, so he should be back shortly.”
“thank you,” you reply quickly, already preparing to make your way toward the direction of the restrooms. maybe, just maybe, you’ll bump into him as he’s walking back.
“are you one of his friends?” the man asks suddenly, stopping you from taking a step forward.
you glance at him, unsure how to respond. “uh... yes, kinda. sure,” you say awkwardly. you catch the faint arch of his brow, as if your answer only piqued his curiosity more.
why didn’t i just say yes? you mentally scold yourself, feeling ridiculous.
clearing your throat, you quickly excuse yourself.
"excuse me,” you mumble before turning and walking away, hoping the restroom isn’t far and jungkook will finally appear.
you walk through the rows of booths, still scanning the area for any sign of jungkook. the loud chatter of students and the hum of discussions fill the air, but all you can focus on is the thought of finding him.
as you near the restrooms, you catch a glimpse of a familiar figure standing by the entrance, hands stuffed in his pockets, his posture relaxed yet somehow tense.
it’s him.
your heart skips a beat, and you can’t help the small sigh of relief that escapes you. he looks as good as ever, effortlessly drawing your eyes to him. he’s wearing a sharp black suit that fits him perfectly, making him look every bit as important as you’re sure he is. he must be a key figure in this expo, you think.
all you know is that he’s supposed to give some kind of presentation. that’s it. nothing more. you didn’t bother to find out the details because, honestly, none of it matters to you.
all you want right now is to see him.
you walk towards him, taking slow steps, unsure how to act. you haven't seen him in what feels like forever, and all that awkward tension you’ve been trying to ignore creeps back up.
when he notices you, his eyes widen for just a second before a small smile breaks across his face. it’s a smile you haven’t seen in a while.
“hey,” he greets you.
you nod, trying to keep your cool despite the rush of emotions. “hi,” you say, feeling your heart race. you look at him, searching his face for any clue about how he’s been, but you can't tell much.
“i didn’t think you’d show up,” he admits, his gaze flickering over you. “thought you were gonna skip it.”
“just wanted to see what this is all about.” you say, trying to sound casual
he chuckles softly, his eyesglancing down. “didn’t expect you to be interested in this stuff.”
“well, i’m not,” you say, feeling the need to explain yourself. “but i wanted to see you. jungkook.”
there’s a brief moment of silence as his expression shifts, and you can’t tell if he’s surprised or if he’s just been waiting for you to say something. his eyes meet yours, and there’s an intensity there that makes you second guess every word you just said.
“i’ve been meaning to talk to you,” he says quietly, stepping a little closer. “i know things have been... off. and honestly—”
loud chatter in the background interrupts him, making both of you exchange a quick glance before he speaks up again.
“follow me.”
you follow him without thinking. the sound of people fading away as you walk through the crowd. he leads you to what feels like an empty lecture hall, making sure to lock the door behind you. you stand there, waiting for him to speak, the quiet now heavy between you two.
“i know things have been different recently,” he starts again, his voice soft. “and i honestly don’t know why...” he sighs. “but i want to apologize for that day. i’m really sorry.”
you swallow, trying to steady yourself. “i forgive you,” you say, your voice steady, but there's still an uncertainty in your chest.
“really?” he looks at you, his gaze searching yours for some kind of reassurance.
“yeah,” you nod, “i was just sick and i guess i overreacted a little, i’m sorry for that.”
he shakes his head quickly. “you didn’t. you didn’t overreact.”
a quiet but heavy silence fills the space between you both.
“so, uh, cool event,” you say, trying to break the tension.
“don’t act like you care,” jungkook smiles, the familiar smirk finally making its way onto his face.
you smile too, shrugging lightly. “yeah, i don’t.”
there’s another brief silence. you’re not sure what to say next, the awkwardness still lingering in the air. what if he’s going to end things? what if he’s had enough? what if.
“jungkook, i—”
his lips are on yours before you can even finish your sentence. the kiss catches you off guard, but his arms wrap tightly around your waist, pulling you in, and any hesitation melts away. his warmth seeps into you, grounding you in the moment as his lips move against yours with a desperate sort of tenderness.
you don’t pull back. instead, you let yourself fall into it, let him guide you. the kiss deepens, and with it, the questions and uncertainties that had been weighing you down dissolve, replaced by the overwhelming feeling of him. here, now, with you.
when you finally pull back, your chest heaves as you gasp for air. your mind is racing, your heart pounding in your chest. you don’t know how to respond. a part of you wants to spill everything; how much you’ve missed him, how unbearable the distance has been, how empty you’ve felt without his touch. but the words catch in your throat, like they're stuck somewhere.
“i’m sorry, i…” he begins, his voice barely above a whisper. his hands don’t leave your waist, holding you close as if afraid you might slip away. “i missed you.”
those three words hit harder than you expect, stirring something deep inside you. warmth spreads through your chest, a quiet comfort you didn’t realize you’d been craving.
it’s simple, almost too simple, but it feels like it’s enough. like it’s the answer to everything that’s been weighing on your heart; the confusion, the space, the silence between you two. suddenly, none of it matters.
“you missed me?” you ask softly, your voice trembling just slightly. it’s as if you need to hear him say it again, to be sure you’re not imagining it.
he nods, his eyes locked on yours. his voice is gentle. “yeah, i did.”
you stare at each other for a moment, the air between you thick with many unspoken feelings. then, without thinking, you lean in, closing the distance as your lips find his. your arms wrapping around his neck as if pulling him closer could erase all the time you spent apart. he responds immediately, his lips pressing against yours with equal fervor, like he’s been waiting for this.
your right leg slides up instinctively, brushing against his hip, and he understands your silent request. his hands move to your thigh, gripping it firmly as he lifts you effortlessly. your legs wrap around his waist, and his strong hands shift to cup your ass, holding you securely against him. the closeness sends a rush of heat through you, your bodies fitting together perfectly.
the kiss deepens, his tongue teasing against your lips until you part them, granting him access. his tongue brushes against yours, slow and deliberate, sending a wave of warmth straight to your core. you hum softly into the kiss, the sound vibrating between you, and his grip on you tightens.
he places you on the nearby desk, his lips never leaving yours. his hands grip your waist, keeping you steady. your fingers slide down to his chest, gently gripping his shirt as if holding on for balance. he pulls back for a brief moment, giving you both a chance to catch your breath.
without hesitation, he shrugs off his blazer, carelessly tossing it to the floor. the sound of it hitting the ground barely registers as his hands return to you, cupping your face with a tenderness that contrasts the heat between you. his lips find yours again, urgent yet soft, and you let him take control, your hands moving to cup his face too.
your legs wrap around his hips, pulling him closer, and you can feel his soft bulge pressing against you. the sensation is enough to make your breath hitch, and you instinctively tilt your hips toward him, craving more of the pressure.
he pulls back slightly, his lips brushing against yours as he murmurs, “you drive me crazy.”
oh fuck.
“what—” you start to ask, but the sound of knocking interrupts you.
both of your heads snap toward the door, your bodies tense.
“jungkook!? you in there?” a familiar voice calls out, loud and clear.
jungkook immediately recognizes it and clears his throat, trying to steady his voice. “yes! jin hyung, i’m here.”
“i’m about to give my speech, so you better be there asap!” jin’s voice is full of its usual dramatic flair. “i came all the way here for this moment, and i don’t want you to miss my glory.”
you hear his footsteps retreating, his words lingering in the air.
jungkook exhales, his head leaning slightly forward until it rests against your forehead. his hands remain on your waist, his touch warm, grounding you in a moment that feels anything but steady. he mumbles under his breath, almost as if he’s scolding himself. “of all the times…”
your heart races, and your mind spins in circles. what does he mean by you drive him crazy? the weight of those words presses down on you, heavy and confusing.
“jungkook,” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “i think you should go.”
he lifts his head to look at you, his brows furrowing slightly. the regret in his eyes is unmistakable.
maybe i shouldn’t have said that. he thinks as he takes a small step back, creating a gap between you that suddenly feels too wide.
“are you going to stay?” he asks cautiously, his voice softer now.
you open your mouth to answer but hesitate. you don’t know what to say. this was never part of your plan. all you wanted was to see him, to tell him you were sorry too. but now, standing here with him, everything feels so much more complicated.
“___,” he says your name gently, snapping you out of your daze. your gaze meets his, and he blinks at you, his expression searching.
“i know things have changed between us, and—”
“what do you mean? we’re fine, though,” you cut him off quickly, the words spilling out as if saying them will make them true.
he lets out a heavy sigh, “are we?”
the question catches you off guard. your frown deepens as uncertainty settles in your chest.
are we?
your silence answers for you, and he notices. he always notices.
“it’s okay,” he says softly, almost like he’s trying to soothe you. “i don’t know how to deal with it either.” he pauses, his voice quieter. “i don’t know what we are right now.”
what are we?
the words echo in your mind, and you hate how much they hurt. it wasn’t supposed to be like this. you never wanted it to turn into this mess.
“i think…” you start, and his eyes are on you immediately, waiting, hoping you’ll say something that will make this all easier.
“...i should go.”
you don’t miss the way his shoulders drop just slightly, the smallest sign of defeat. you hesitate for a moment before sliding off the desk, your movements stiff and uncertain.
you gulp, forcing yourself to meet his gaze one last time. “good luck with your presentation,” you say softly. you linger for a second, watching him, hoping he’ll say something to stop you. but all he does is nod, his response quiet and unreadable.
with a deep breath, you turn around and walk toward the door. every step feels heavier than the last.
behind you, jungkook exhales a long, weary sigh, running a hand through his hair.
did i mess it up? he wonders, his chest tightening with something he doesn’t know how to name.
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a/n: um haha.... jin with glasses yay!! 🏃🏻‍♀️
📜 series taglist: @deepikhaprakash @rjooniesdimples @wombatkitten127 @hoseokteardrop
📜 permanent taglist: @lovieku @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @onlyforyoukook @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @genevieveeeee @kookoo-kachoo @junecat18 @iheartchanelle @internetrando64 @jkvias @134340-kr @mar-lo-pap @fluttershypoo @kyuupii @https-mei @elinaki92 @jungkookmyoneandonlybaby @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jaykay-world @jmscaffeine @libra04 @beigerin @nikidream24 @svnbangtansworld @mimi1097
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littlelamy · 6 hours ago
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Rafe taking care of Reader who goes through a depressive episode. She’s feeling like she is a burden and feels like everyone would be happier with her gone. Maybe things are pretty new between them, only gone on a few dates so she obviously (like most) isn’t going to tell him anything and doesn’t think she matters to a guy she has gone on a few dates with anyway, so she just stops responding to his texts
a/n: thank you for requesting!⭐️ i hope i wrote it appropriately to what you requested 🙂💗
the first time rafe noticed something was off, it was subtle—just a missed text here and there. maybe a delayed reply. nothing unusual at first. he probably told himself you were busy. everyone has those days where life gets hectic.
but when hours stretched into days and your replies went from short to nonexistent, he started to feel that quiet pull of worry.
“hey, you okay?” he texted the day before, after his third unanswered message.
you saw it pop up on your screen. his name glowed against the darkness of your room, and for a moment, your heart ached with the idea of answering. but then the thought crept in.
he’s just being polite. he barely knows you. he’s probably relieved you stopped answering anyway.
so you let the screen go dark.
you told yourself it didn’t matter. it wasn’t like you two were serious. you’d only gone on a handful of dates, and even though every moment with rafe had been sweet and effortless, there was no way someone like him could actually care.
you’d been wrong about people before.
the weight in your chest had only grown heavier over the past few weeks. even getting out of bed felt impossible some days, let alone pretending to be okay for someone like rafe cameron. so, you didn’t bother. you shut your phone off, buried it under a pillow, and let the world fade into static.
the knock at your door startled you.
at first, you thought it might’ve been a neighbor or a delivery driver, someone just passing through. but then it came again, louder this time, more deliberate.
“y/n?”
you froze, your breath catching as his voice carried through the door.
“it’s rafe.”
you stared at the door like it might open on its own. the last thing you wanted was to face him, especially like this. but hearing his voice made your chest tighten in a way you couldn’t quite explain.
“i, uh…” he hesitated, the sound of him shifting his weight audible through the thin walls. “i just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
you stayed silent, hoping he’d take the hint and leave. but deep down, you knew rafe wasn’t the kind of guy to just walk away.
“you don’t have to let me in,” he added, his voice softer now, almost pleading. “just… let me know you’re alright.”
you clenched your fists, trying to will the lump in your throat away. how were you supposed to explain that you weren’t alright? that you hadn’t been alright in weeks?
the knock came again, gentler this time.
“i’m not leaving until i know you’re okay,” he said firmly, though there was no anger in his voice. only concern.
you sat frozen for what felt like forever, listening to the silence on the other side of the door. maybe he’d given up. maybe he was walking away right now, realizing this wasn’t worth his time.
but then your phone buzzed from where it lay buried under the pillow.
you hesitated before reaching for it, your hands trembling as you unlocked the screen.
rafe <3: hey, i’m outside your place. not trying to bother you, i just wanted to check in. if you need space, i get it. just let me know you’re alright, okay?
your chest ached as you read the words. there was nothing demanding about them, nothing that made you feel guilty or trapped. he wasn’t asking for anything except to know you were safe.
and that made it worse somehow.
because you weren’t.
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my-castles-crumbling · 23 hours ago
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Hi cas! Good morning? (I dk what time zone you are in)
If you want I'm really curious to know how you met your wife, if you fell on love immediately, if she reciprocated...
Txs sm <3
Hi! Thank you for asking :D
So the short story is we met on Tinder.
I had recently gotten out of a very toxic relationship and I was trying to Get Back Out There and I was on multiple dating apps. Honestly, I think I was trying to build my self-esteem a bit. I'd been asked on dates by a few people but I always chickened out at the last second. I was pretty fucked up from my ex, and I just didn't feel comfortable.
When we matched, we had mutual friends so I knew she was who she said she was. And then we started flirting over the app and we just clicked, you know? And she made me smile and everything lol
We agreed on a date and I was pretty convinced I was going to chicken out. She was actually LATE. But I was picking her up and I remember being so nervous, waiting in the car, like my heart was in my throat and my stomach was churning and then she got in the car and I just relaxed. And I'd never felt like that on a date. Like my ex made me feel like such crap and I had been so uncomfortable with the idea of actually dating someone else so it was the best feeling in the world. And I feel like that was a sign that she was the person I was meant to be with, you know? (And I was right. She's the most patient, kind, amazing person)
I'd brought her a flower and she was all happy about it, and then we drove to the restaurant and I ate about three bites of my food because I was still nervous (in the sense that I didn't want to say the wrong thing lol I felt completely safe) and she still gives me shit for not eating anything because she didn't eat much because I didn't and 8 years later she still tells me I owe her the rest of the pizza she didn't finish.
But anyway, we talked at the restaurant for about 3ish hours, and we both were absolutely horrible at flirting. I told her a story about my dead goldfish and she sang a song from Arthur (the kids show) and then at the end of the three hours, I drove her home only to realize she lived in the SAME APARTMENT COMPLEX as me. And then we were sitting there awkwardly bc I wanted to kiss her and she wanted to kiss me but neither of us wanted to make the first move so she just went inside.
And then she texted and asked me if I was straight! Like she had the audacity to think I was straight after we went on a 3-hour date after meeting on tinder lol. So I was like, NO.
But anyway she came over to my apartment....five days later? And I kicked my roommates out because I was DETERMINED to kiss her lol. And we had a perfectly respectable kiss and did nothing else at all because I know there are probably children reading this 👀
And then THAT day she told me she was planning on moving to a different state for grad school. And my response was "I can get a job in another state." And she was very happy about that.
So after knowing each other in person for five days and going on two dates, we basically had already decided to move in together.
And...we did! She moved 1000 miles away five months later and I went with her and I proposed while we lived there! And we got married almost to years ago!
The end!
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ghouljams · 7 hours ago
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Heya Ghoul... I have a question.
How do you tell if you've been like... affected by something? My ex practices Wiccan stuff and she is very obsessive and still texts my old number and like... yeah, I'm worried about her doing something. We were together roughly two years and she's still trying to contact me after a year of no contact and she's saying how like I'm her soulmate and stuff and I'm just... not into her at all anymore. Like she gave me emotional trauma and stuff, almost convinced me to move up to where she is (long distance, manipulative) and I'm not comfortable going out of state right now because that's a huge reset I don't want to do again...
Not to ramble here too much, I'm sorry if it's too weird or something so feel free to ignore this, but I really don't know who to ask in terms of the practice. I'm also not really sure how to bring up the topic of spells or hexes or whatever, I'm not trying to be dismissive in any way but it's like talking about just feels stifling and awkward. We (ex and I) never really talked about her practices and stuff, but sometimes she'd talk about a ritual she did or wanted to do, or spell jars she wanted to make... I never really learned how to talk about it, either, in general so maybe it just feels weird because it's foreign. I don't doubt it exists, but it's not something I understand very well.
I didn't intend to dump this on you but I did so in sorry about that. Thank you for reading, I hope you have a great day.
Hello hello you have come to the right witch.
First of all FUCK WICCA that shit is just magic stollen from other religions and closed practices, plus it was created by some random white dude in like the 80s so it's not even this deeply ancient practice that people think it is.
Anyway Wiccans also have this whole thing about "do no harm" but lemme tell you something, i am not Wiccan and I will do harm. So here's what you're gonna do.
We're going to start with a cleanse. I like doing a Limpia, since that's the most hands on and accessible.
You're gonna get an egg and rub that Thang all over your body. I mean all over, and try to focus on "cleaning" yourself off with it. Be careful not to break it but make sure you rub it over the top of your head, sole of your feet, stomach/heart/hands, you wanna get anything you think feels bad. Then we're gonna crack the egg into a glass of water.
Now you can read the egg and see if she's actually hexed you, but for your purposes it doesn't matter because even if she hasn't we're gonna throw some salt, ceyanne/chili powder/red pepper flakes, and some garlic into that water. Then you're gonna toss the whole thing down the toilet, close the lid and flush it.
Cleanse done.
Next your gonna take a jar or a bag and you're gonna put anything sharp that you have in your house and you're willing to get rid of into it. Nails, thorns, thumb tacks, needles, pins, toss it in there. If you're using a jar add some vinegar, if your using a bag don't. Then we're doing hot stuff again: chili powder, red pepper flakes, anything spicy goes in your ward. Add some salt. Spit in it. Write a warning on a piece of paper "anyone who sends harm my way will get it back 3 fold" and shove it in there. Then bury that thing. Preferably you do this at the edge of your property but if you can't bury anything out it over your door.
Done.
Other witches get real fancy with their wards but I'm lazy and most people don't have a ton of fancy witchcraft stuff, so we work with what we've got.
Otherwise. Idk magic isn't real, the worst she can do is just like keep trying to contact you and being annoying. She'll get bored eventually and move on to tormenting someone else, but if she does send anything your way or you feel like you're not acting like yourself, do a cleanse.
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number-1-crush · 2 years ago
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so. we win some we lose some
#uhh she came and saw the show my school was putting on :)#it’s matilda :) the best job we’ve ever done too#anyways the day after i texted her asking how she liked it#and she liked it a lot! we started talking abt backstage stuff#(she noticed i was prop head from the program and brought it up and it made me <3!!!!)#and it was great!#until i mentioned an inside joke we’ve started backstage#of ‘austin powers in matilda’ where we just say lines in an austin powers british accent and add ‘baby’ to the end#and she was like ‘sounds fun ^^’#and i SHOULD HAVE gotten the hint of ‘i’m not trying to insult you for having fun but idk what to say’#but instead i was like ‘nah i’m overthinking’ and KEPT TALKING ABOUT IT#and uh. she hasn’t responded since . yippee !#it’s fine. it’s fine ! it happens. i’m NOT gonna read too far into it. while this friendship may not be built on much it isn’t so fragile#that one awkward moment ruins the whole thing. It Is Fine#i simply got overexcited. and explaining a strange inside joke referencing late 90s/early 00s spoof movies can be a little tough#especially over text where you can’t do the silly voice#it’s Fine. it’s totally fine#besides. she saw my name in the program! and used it to further the conversation!#that’s a sign of at least friendly interest. she wouldn’t let one weird thing make her dislike a person#i just got a little too comfortable bc ‘oh i’m queer she’s queer i’m nd she hangs out with nd kids we’re all good’#and forgot we were still probably at the Friendly Acquaintances level#it’ll be no big deal. yeah#anyways. gonna go to bed :)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 20 days ago
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...
#ugh. fuck me im so tired. im getting sucked back into that workaholic mindset and now my body hurts and my nerves are fying. but it feels#good to b productive. if only i didnt have to teach and could just work with data :-(#anyway. the last 2 weeks have been good in that i feel like im actually hitting my stride a bit#bc we're seeing cool things in our genomes and its gonna b really fun to explore. and i met with the terrifying#prof who is on my committee to pitch a project for a final in her class and it seems it went over well. it was kinda funny bc we were#meeting and she was like: so how would u tell which gene was lost 1st? the phytochrome or the genes that r triggered by activation? and i#was like: uhhhhh idk. and then my advisor walked by and she grabbed him and asked him the same question and he was like: idk we'll have to#figure it out. which made me feel way better abt not knowing lol. then my superior lab mate asked me a question abt taking confocal images#and i was actually able to figure out what her issue was. and my old advisor was asking me if i knew anyone to ask for using a pam on cyanos#and i was like: here is what i think my advisor would say and linked her a paper. then i asked my advisor and he said what i expected and#linked the paper that id already sent. so im like. ok. ok. maybe i actually sometimes do kno what im doing. sorta.#and then my old advisor said she was so proud of me. and i was like aw. its so funny bc my relationship is so different with my new advisor#hes great but its all very professional. with my old advisor i would text her after hours bc she was a workaholic like me and went on long#car rides and handed out Halloween candy with her. she was more hands on and doesnt have kids so work is her life. its just interesting#so things have been going well. but there arent enough hours in the day. and my committee meeting is in like 16 days. and i am afraid for#that but not as afraid as i was in april when i had a full on breakdown and canceled it the day before it was set to happen lol#itll b fine. i just have to work thru the weekend so i can get my preproposal done. and prey that the fucking splitstree download site will#start working bc i want to do gene networks dammit#unrelated
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lisxdumbr · 7 months ago
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The whole "if a person is mad at you it's their responsibility to tell you" thing just made me realize how fucked my situation is. Like just. woah
#who wants to hesr the story of how I lost my irl friends recently (you will I'm spitting everything right now)#anyway so last year one day one of my friends decided to randomly backstab me and she started talking behind my back#and yeah this all made me mad because?? what the fuck#she started talking and revealing stuff that i had confide to her to other people and they slowly started drifting from me#BUt the thing here is that she was manipulating the story. she changed it every time she told stuff to people to make me look bad#i heard one of the things she said about me once and i was like ?? she even make me dislike me in her version which like woa#anyway I didn't understand why she did that because it was ? so random? and then she started ignoring me and has not talked to me ever since#the thing is. she apparently didn't have enough with just doing that. she slowly started to rot my other friends' brains too?#in the sense that. suddenly the rest of my group was ignoring me too. they never said anything to me. or stated that they had a problem#they just ignored me in my face? and yeah that. hurt#recently i found thanks to a third party that one of them decided to stop talking to me because apparently i had hurt her uncountable times#and she was just soo sick and tired of me doing that. which. honestly made me mad because she did not ever express that to me?? so#what was i supposed to do. if she never said anything.#anyway one of my friends confronted her about the treatment they were giving to me. the whole exclusion thing. and her answer was-#”well it's not my fault that she doesn't have more friends and doesn't talk to people”#and i was like. woah. what a poor reply. is that really it.. also apparently they all had agree to stop talking to me as a group-#-and they never informed me so. thank you?#and I'm still here asking what i did to that ex friend of mine. later on i found out she had hooked up with the guy i used to like btw#and she kept it secret. oh and then i started dating my current partner ! person she also felt attracted to. and that's my only explanation.#she started gossiping after what happened with the first guy. so that's really everything that comes to mind as a reason#ANYWAY now that i was at the hospital i didn't receive a single text from any of them. so i guess that was it. people who don't care-#-like that are not friends. those people are not my friends. people who ignore me on purpose and gossip like that are not. my friends#so yeah that's why I've been feeling down lately but ! here I am i ended up ranting so. much#rant#vent#?#woah i actually feel so much better after spitting it all#I'm also following that sour grape advice btw I'm not giving them the privilege of cutting me out. I'M the one who dislikes them now
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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kuiinncedes · 1 year ago
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asjfbcdndbd
#bruhhh is it bad that i#my friend keeps texting me like ‘how are you doing’ / ‘how are you’ which like i appreciate it#but she does it so often and idk why i’m lowkey a little annoyed by it#which sounds so bad and sndbfjdhdhdj god like i’m grateful that she#makes the effort to reach out bc i used to never feel like anyone would reach out to me#and i’ve told her that so maybe that’s why idfk#but idk like she asks me almost every day/every other day and i’m just like djfjdjdjd#miss girl ily but pls my answers not gonna change lmfao 😭#i’m not doing shit how i’m doing isn’t interesting i’m also like not gonna tell u#that like i’m bored af of my life rn i’m tired i need to fucking create sm or do some fucking art soon or imma lose my mind a little#i’m just fucking chilling i’m not doing anything interesting i’m literally just fine lmao#like i’m just chilling like the last 10 times u asked 😭😭😭#idk idk 🤡 she asked me tonight and then said sm else so i answered the other thing and ignored the hru lmao#but then after the conversation abt the other thing she asked me hru again :’)#idk if any of this makes sense LOL i also feel bad abt complaining abt it 😭#idk WHY i’m lowkey annoyed by it. maybe i’m so fucking used to friends not reaching out to me#that her doing this makes me hhfhjfjdhfhffj lmao#like yeah i ofc love her texting me i just don’t wanna answer hru so many times lmao and ik i could tell her that or like ask why she asks#how i am so much but i don’t want to c:#ANYWAY LEMME ANSWER HER LMFAO GIRL#🤡 anyway also yeah i need to like start drawing sm or do a lettering thing soon#:D#jeanne talks
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yutadori · 2 years ago
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also even though saturday was mildly horrific tuesday was somehow WORSE????? it was my head supervisor, this guy i've worked with before who scares me, and this girl who i hadn't met yet and it was so bad oh god it was so so so so bad an absolute nightmare so that was the first time i worked during the day and it was surprisingly dead .__. which SUCKED because there was FOUR of us..... i wanted to end it all so bad like every time i made a drink at least ONE person would be watching me like 👁️___👁️ and if it's my head supervisor who's watching me then okay i get that because she's a supervisor but i don't know why my other coworkers were staring at me !?!?!?! i get it was DEAD but we're allowed to go on our phones if it's dead and there's nothing to do!!!! anyway it was mainly the other girl who was watching me alongside my head supervisor and idk if it's because she was told to but . they would correct me whenever i made a mistake which was fine and that's what happened during the prev shifts but idk why i felt so TENSE and bad about this time??? anyway i felt like an idiot the whole time and what ended up killing me in the end was when i was making a drink for the customer and my head supervisor was watching me but also kinda talking to me and i just had to pour a little bit of tea into the cup and then seal it with the lid. i forgot which tea it was and i looked down at the label on the cup and i was JUST about to reach for the correct tea when the SCARY GUY reached out to tap the tea container somewhat intensely and was like 'it's this one' and i almost DISINTEGRATED ON THE SPOT HE SOUNDED SO MAD ???? and i looked at him and i couldn't tell if he was side-eyeing me or not because he turned away kinda fast and i was just ???
like my supervisors told me it's okay if i'm not fast and if i look at the label multiple times and idk that was just so weird because he was so intense about it??? and it's not like !!! we were rushing or anything it was literally just one customer?? and idk ive only worked with him twice but i feel like he already doesn't like meeeee like he talks with the other employees like ^__^ but when he talks to me it's very blunt and he only speaks to me when absolutely necessary and it just feels so bad i hate being around him i feel like he wants to take me out (negative)
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nerdie-faerie · 6 months ago
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This has got to be the worst move out yet
#packing perils#student living#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house#cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in#so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye#go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going#end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip#as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to#shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up#covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i#can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i#decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due#to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin#everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in#the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and#no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move#much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this#point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my#stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway#she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes#walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm#assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new#landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time#together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying#stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their#car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for#the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when#taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get
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pears-trinkets · 8 months ago
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.
#the whole vet situation gives me such trauma whiplash im too busy with that that i havent really given myself a chance to process today#all i can think about is how painful eating must be for mischa#i noticed she slowed down a bit and wouldnt eat kibble or hard snacks but i thought it might be one single tooth ache idk#i actually thought she was doing better because she slowed down because she has been gulping down food way too fast since the shelter#the last time she had tooth problems like 2-3 years ago i asked a friend to come with me to the vet and she said omg yes of course#and then she resumed texting me normal stuff throughout the day of the appointment and only after i didnt reply the whole day she noticed#like 10 hours too late she was like OH SHIT HAHA!! and this is literally what happens every time when i ask someone to be there for me#when i make myself really vulnerable and ask for help and say that i cant do something alone they let me down#while knowing that i have no one else#i asked my mom to come to the vet once and she literally only talked about herself the whole time distracting me#and then she was like haha yeah lets just drop off the cat at home and go get some lunch hihi!!!!#she never remembers vet appointments even when we just talked about them and loves making fun of me for being stressed and tense#like OH NO WONDER YOU WERE MOODY like im on my period or something#i texted a friend about mischas health issues and me losing my job and she hasnt replied since january and doesnt really talk to me anymore#so i guess that friendship is done too#ill have to go there on thursday alone and overdraft my account and wait until the evening and care for mischa all alone#i cant even talk with someone about this because no one understands or judges my emotions and no one cares anyway#and then ill have to go back to work where everyone knows that i will be gone soon and will pester me about it#they all think of me as a temporary intern anyway and ask WHEN WILL YOU GO FIND A REAL JOB while they make me do theirs#everything and everyone at that job is so horrible and so many people leave and they never learn#a colleague i helped teaching everything suddenly turned on me &my other colleague & made our lives miserable while badmouthing us viciously#and everyone in the office chose her over us and let her get away with it while she screamed at us and behaved like a child#its so ironic how i stayed because i needed money to live and now when i go i will have 0 because of the surgery#i mean its worth it but like#what the fuck is life and what will it fucking be next month
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lizardho · 5 days ago
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When I came out, I was SO scared I was gonna get disowned. I wrote a letter to my parents, sent it to their emails, put a physical copy on the counter, and left the house for a few hours to give them time. In that time I tried coffee for the first time, which was a dreadful idea, and got all jittery. I kept waiting for a text or something but nothing happened.
After a few hours, I didn’t hear back from them so I went home. My parents were home and had stacked a bunch of groceries on top of the letter without opening it. They said “hi” and I said “hi” and went down stairs to the basement. I held my dog and panicked about what to do. My sister, who knew that I had written them a letter of great importance, told me they hadn’t read it yet. She also told me she could ask them to do so. I consented to this and stayed in the basement. A few minutes later my dad knocked on the door and poked his soft smooth little nerd head in and said “hey buddy” and I started crying so hard I almost vomited. He came over and gave me a BIG hug and said that it was gonna be OK, he was OK with this, he knew it must have been hard but he was here for me. He told me he and my mom had already talked years before they had me about how if they had to pick between their faith and their child they’d pick their child. It was a very sweet moment. I came out to my mom later that evening and we were both bawling the whole time.
The day after I came out to my parents, I came out to my brother @inbabylontheywept at a Mexican restaurant and he took it like a champ. That evening my mom took me for a walk and looked almost angry - she said she wanted to make sure that I didn’t use being a woman as an excuse to not go to grad school. I told her I wouldn’t and she instantly looked relieved and happier.
My dad, on the other hand, seemed to struggle with it. He kept asking me if I had a boyfriend, and I told him I did not. He kept asking me if I wanted to go clothes shopping with him and I did not. He kept asking me if I would let him go to some of my shows, and I had NO idea what he was talking about.
Finally, 6 months after coming out, of awkward misgendering and questions that didn’t make sense from my dad, he excitedly pokes his soft smooth little nerd head into my bedroom again and says “I found a movie about Your People.” My people. I was absolutely bewildered, but he was so excited and I knew he had been trying SO hard so I watched it with him. It was The Birdcage, and it was amazing. It also was revelatory in that I finally realized why my initially-supportive father seemed to be having such a hard time with my pronouns and stuff - he didn’t know what the difference between trans and doing drag was. After the movie he again asked if I would invite him to one of my shows, and I said, “Hey dad, you know how about half the world is women?” And he said “yeah,” and I said “Well, see, I’m on that half now. I’m not doing drag.” And it was like a switch flipped in his brain. He was like “omg that’s so easy? I was so confused about what to call you when?”
Anyway, my parents are charming and my family has been so kind and patient with me, I like sharing the stories of my little wins with them.
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sunrizef1 · 8 months ago
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Girl back home
Pairing: Logan Sargeant x wife!reader
Warnings: cursing (I think)
Authors note: this took forever, but now I can actually work on whiv now that I’ve finished this
Summary: Everyone keeps trying to set Logan up, but no one bothers to ask if he's already got a girl (surprise! he does!)
Word Count: 4.2k (jesus)
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“What about her? she’s pretty,” Alex asks as he points at the five hundredth model to walk past the Williams garage that day.
If it hadn’t been his home race, Logan might have walked away an hour ago when Alex’s pointing started but instead, he stayed, choosing to endure Alex’s unrelenting matchmaking.
“No, Alex. I’ve already said no to about 50 other girls you’ve pointed out, what makes you think she’d be different,” Logan groans, his head leaning back to rest against the wall behind them.
Alex purses his lips, a frown on his face, “Why won’t you let me get you a girlfriend?”
Logan pauses to stare at the ceiling of the garage for a second before he turns his head to face the man next to him, “I don’t need a girlfriend.”
“Yeah sure man, I’ve seen you stare quietly at a wall by yourself more times than you’d probably admit. If that doesn’t scream “I need a girlfriend” then I don’t know what does,” Alex shrugs before turning back to face away from his friend, his hand coming back up to point at a pretty-faced blonde girl making her way past the garage, even smiling when she locks eyes with Logan, “Ooh what about her? She seems to like you!”
Logan just hums in response, his eyes closing as he leaves Alex to talk to himself.
In reality, Logan truly didn’t need a girlfriend. He had something even better, a wife. Who also happened to be you. You had met when you were kids and had been in love ever since. You liked to joke that it was love at first sight but every time you said it, Logan would wonder how much of a joke it really was.
You had been there for every step in his career, through the wins and the losses, through karting to Formula racing. So when he proposed after the end of the f3 season in 2020, no one close to you was really surprised.
You got married shortly after, neither one of you wanting a big, flashy wedding. Instead, the wedding was small but still nice, just some close friends and family in attendance. Even Oscar had been there and he made sure to reference the event to everyone who wouldn’t understand when around Logan. He loved to talk about the “party” Logan had in 2020 to the other drivers who, frankly, had no idea what he meant.
When he got his move to Formula One, you were over the moon for him. You didn’t worry about long-distance. You had made it work in the past and you both had total confidence in each other to make it work. You continued your degree in engineering and he continued his career in racing. You tried to make it to races when school would let you, which wasn’t often, and he was more than happy to fly you out when he could.
Logan genuinely loved you more than anything. With that being said, this meant that he did not have the time of day for anyone trying to set him up with the Instagram model of the week who had decided to visit a garage.
But at the same time, he also didn’t feel the pressure to share your marriage with anyone. He didn’t really know any of the other drivers very well and if they wanted to know more about him, they could ask. It’s just that no one ever did.
Except, it seems, when they wanted to set him up.
“Hey, Logan!” A British voice calls out to the American, whose head shoots up at the uncommon voice.
“What’s up, mate?” The blonde asks Lando, pocketing the phone where he had just been texting you to ask about your engineering final.
Lando grins and places a hand on the American's shoulder, raising his voice to be heard above the sounds of the paddock, “I was talking to Oscar and he mentioned something about your love life and something about you being lonely, I don’t really remember what he said but anyway, I’m talking to this girl and she has this friend who I think would be perfect for you.”
Logan’s face drops at the brunette's words, a frown replacing his smile, “I’m cool Lando, thanks though.”
Lando furrows his eyebrows, disbelief written on his features, “You sure, mate? She’s sooooo fine.”
Logan just nods his head in response, backing away from the McLaren driver slowly, “Yeah I’m sure Lando, you have fun thinking about your girlfriend’s friend though.”
Lando doesn’t seem to catch the diss as he just glances up and down at Logan before shaking his head and turning on his heel to head back to his garage. Logan sighs before taking his phone back out of his pocket to see another text from you. A grin breaks out on his face as he sees your name.
Logan hadn’t talked to very many of the drivers on the grid, often feeling on the outs of a lot of conversations. So he’s even more surprised to see Charles Leclerc making his way toward him at a club. A club he had only agreed to come to so he coule be Oscar's designated driver, by the way.
“Eyyy, it’s the American!” Charles says, the alcohol clearly present in his voice. The lights are too dimmed but if they were brighter, Logan would be able to see the lipstick smudges around his white collar.
“Hey, Charles,” Logan replies, scepticism laced in his voice. The Monegasque leans closer to him, the drink in his hand sloshing around in the cup.
“I have something to tell you,” Charles slurs a bit, leaning dangerously before a pretty brunette comes up and grabs him, based on her lipstick shade compared to Charles’ shirt, she had already been more than acquaintances with him before this conversation.
Logan glances at the pair before responding dryly, “Oh no.”
Charles grins before pointing back to where he had come from, a dark-haired girl sitting at the table, “That’s Natalie.”
“Navaeh,” the brunette pipes up to correct Charles as he nods in response.
“Yeah, Nivia. Anyway, she’s a friend of mine and she’s been eyeing you all night, thought you’d want her number.”
Logan rolls his eyes at the very clearly drunk couple in front of him, increasing his headache from the pounding EDM, “What an assumption there Charles. I’m actually good though.”
“What?” Charles asks, squinting to see the blonde under the club lights.
“No thanks,” Logan smiles tightly before moving to step around the couple and probably tell Oscar that either they were both leaving or Oscar was getting an Uber, “You guys have a good night though.”
The couple is already too busy sucking face to realize he’s left.
“I just don’t understand why they keep trying to set me up, I’m perfectly happy with you,” Logan complains to you over the phone a few nights later.
You were sat in your dorm, engineering work strewn across your desk and your roommate at a party somewhere. You were trying to get as much work done as possible before Logan came to Austin for the GP so you could spend the weekend with him.
“I mean, have you told them you’re married?” You ask, trying to stifle a yawn as your hand moves to write down the equation for the problem in front of you.
Logan shakes his head, the movement almost imperceptible through the small phone screen, “Nah, but it’s just that no one’s asked you know? I’m just waiting for someone to say “Hey Logan, you got a girl back home?” Before they try and set me up with some Instagram model they know.”
You smile softly as he talks, his hands moving to mess with his blond hair periodically. He eventually looks back to the screen once he’s done ranting and is met with your smiling face filling his phone screen, “What?”
“I love you,” you say warmly, your grin practically splitting your face.
Logan blushes before laughing and shaking his head to hide the redness on his face, “I love you too. I’ll see you next week yeah?”
You look down at the now-completed homework in front of you. Homework that could’ve taken about 2 fewer hours if you weren’t on call.
“Yeah I’m done with this. I’ll turn it into my professor tomorrow and after that I am free. When do you get in?” You ask, shuffling the papers together and sliding them into your bag before moving out of your chair and flopping onto your bunk, sleep clouding your eyes.
“Uhh,” Logan pauses, glancing at his suitcase. In reality, he was supposed to get in twenty two hours and six minutes from when he hung up the call, his flight leaving in three hours and arriving in Austin after a 16 hour flight and a 2 hour layover in DFW followed by an hour long flight to Austin. He would effectively be arriving about a week before any of the other drivers. Besides maybe Daniel. But he couldn’t say any of that. He wanted to surprise you, especially now that you had no work to do. So instead he just hums, “Next week I think.”
“That’s great, babe,” you yawn, a small smile on your lips at the idea of him being back with you again, “I can’t wait to see you.”
“Yeah?” Logan grins.
You hum, your eyes drifting closed slightly, “Yeah.”
Logan notices your less-than-awake state and finally decides to end the call, “Goodnight, I love you.”
You yawn again, your eyes fluttering shut, “Good morning Logan, I love you too.”
The call ends quickly after and Logan glances at the time, grinning when he sees the 8:24 am displayed on his phone screen. You’d both had to deal with the difference in time zones for so long, you probably had all the time zones memorized. Or at least you remembered enough to call out good morning instead of goodnight while he was in Qatar.
His flight touches down twenty-two hours later and the first thing he does is call you.
“Hey what's up?” It's about 10:30 in Austin and the only thing you were doing was picking up barbeque from this place on the edge of campus that your roommate had been raving about.
“Not much, just bored,” Logan replies, his eyes scanning the background of the face time call for where you could possibly be this late.
You glance down at your phone for a second to do the same, eyebrows furrowing, “Where are you? It looks dark.”
Logan glances around slightly before replying, “In a car,” he wasn't lying, he really was in a car. Just one that was ubering to your campus instead of one with his team in Qatar, “Where are you? It's like 10 pm over there.”
“Just picking up some food,” you reply, eyes looking over the moonlit sidewalk that threads through the well-kept grass that surrounds you.
“This late?”
You laugh, “I slept through dinner.”
Logan smiles before sliding forward slightly when the car stops, “Are you just going back to your dorm?”
You look around quickly, “Yeah it's like a quarter mile back though.” You tighten your grip on the bag in your hand, the plastic having started to slip. Maybe your Ugg slides hadn't been the best choice for this walk but you'd manage.
“Oh yeah I know where you are, I remember eating at that place last time I was there,” Logan pulls his suitcase out of the trunk and tips the driver, checking periodically to make sure you hadn't clocked him.
“Yeah yeah, really good stuff and the owner remembered me today, guess I've been there enough times,” You laugh, starting to move back in the direction of your dorm once again.
By the time you had stopped to readjust the bag of food and your shoes, Logan had already started to speedwalk in the direction of your dorm. As he walks he passes enough drunk college kids to fill the football stadium they had all visited so many times.
You're walking pretty slowly, enjoying the moonlight shining brightly on the campus. Your shoes definitely weren't making you any faster to be fair.
“You turn your assignment in?” Logan asks, hoping you don't notice his eyes darting around the campus in search of you.
You nod, reaching a hand up to rub at your sleepy eyes, “Yeah, he even gave me extra credit for turning it in so early.”
Logan nods absentmindedly and you raise an eyebrow as you watch him do it before his eyes lock on something and he abruptly ends the call, “I've got to go, love you!”
You stand staring at your phone with a confused look on your face for a moment, words dying on the tip of your tongue. Weird.
You shake your head before moving to walk again, Logan's weird actions at the forefront of your mind.
Before you can even take a step, someone calls out your name and you turn quickly to see Logan standing there with the biggest grin on his face.
You gasp and wrap him in a bone-crushing hug warmth spreading through you from his arms. You move to spread kisses all across his face and for a few minutes, you both just stand there, not having seen each other in a few months and taking the time to readjust.
“I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulder, unexpected tears starting to spring from your eyes.
He just sets you down before wrapping a hand around the side of your face, “I missed you too.”
You bring a sweater-clad hand up to wipe away a tear before grabbing the food in one hand and grabbing his hand in the other, starting to lead him back to your dorm.
He grabs his suitcase as you start moving, “Is your roommate here?”
“No, you know how she is. She'll be with her new boyfriend for a few weeks so we're fine,” you wave away his question as you walk toward the building a few hundred feet away.
He smiles in response, “Hope you got enough food for two.”
You just laugh joyously.
A week and a half later, you’re stood in the hotel room Logan’s team had provided him, the room much nicer than your cramped dorm room. You had spent the last 12 days exploring Austin with your husband, making up for the time spent away from each other.
You had accidentally slept through Logan’s departure for the morning, waking up to a text explaining that, with your busy class schedule, he wanted you to get as many days of sleeping in as possible but he had gotten you breakfast and it was currently sitting in the kitchen.
You smiled at the text, appreciating Logan’s thoughtfulness. In the kitchen was a coffee from your favourite coffee shop as well as a McGriddle from McDonalds, which, no doubt, hurt Logan to order considering he wasn’t allowed to eat them.
You quickly ate the food, texting Logan to thank him. He texts back surprisingly quickly, considering he was supposed to be in a meeting.
He filled you in on how his morning had gone before asking when you’d get to the paddock for the race. You replied that you’d be there soon, quickly sliding on a light jacket over your tank top and jean shorts, preparing for the Austin heat.
Considering you had never been in the COTA paddock before, you would rather be in any situation other than your current one. There were about three hours until the race and you had no idea where the Williams garage was. You had gotten in just fine but, for some reason, you couldn’t find the blue of the Williams employees anywhere.
Logan wasn’t answering his phone, which you expected considering he had already been reprimanded for being on his phone during a meeting once this morning. Now you were left by yourself, trying to navigate the busy paddock.
You were somehow in a sea of orange, eyebrows furrowed. You turn in a quick circle, eyes setting on a curly-haired man in an orange polo who you take a few quick steps towards, hoping he can help you with directions.
“Excuse me,” you call out to the man who turns around swiftly, eyes pulling across your figure before landing on your face.
“How can I help you, love?” The man replies, a British accent laced through his voice and a sharp grin on his rosy lips.
You glance around slightly, leaning away from the man’s hungry gaze, “Do you know where the Williams garage is?”
He nods his head but keeps his eyes locked on your face, his smirk unfaltering, “Yeah, yeah, it’s just down that way.”
He points to nowhere in particular, moving to lean against the wall you’re standing near, “What’s your name, darling?”
You have to hide the smirk that tries to escape you at the fact that this man clearly has no idea you were married and also clearly thought you’d be an easy girl to flirt with considering his unwavering confidence.
You tell him your name and a grin breaks out on his face, “Pretty name, I’m Lando.”
Ah, so this was Lando. You had only ever seen him with his helmet on and from what you heard from Logan, his current behaviour made perfect sense. Logan hadn’t talked a lot about the Brit but he had mentioned him a few times considering he was Oscars teammate.
You hum, glancing around amusedly around the garage. You and Lando talk for a few more moments before a shorter figure clasps a hand on his shoulder. You lock eyes with the newcomer, grinning when you see a familiar boy standing behind Lando.
"Hey Osc," You smile at the Aussie. Oscar glances sideways at Lando, eyes shifting across his face before they turn to you. You just smile sweetly at the man who reciprocates the grin back at you.
"Hey," Lando glances confusedly between the two of you at Oscar's response. When Lando's confusion goes on a bit too long, Oscar turns and swings an arm around your shoulder, effectively moving the both of you away from the still-confused McLaren driver.
"I assume you're looking for Williams, then?" Oscar asks, running his free hand through his hair which had already begun to stick to his forehead from the Austin heat.
You hum in affirmation, sliding your sunglasses down your nose as the two of you step into the sun to make your way to your husband's garage.
Oscar makes conversation as he pulls you along, talking to you about how his season had gone and also asking a lot of questions about your engineering classes.
“I’d do a video for you, shock all your classmates,” Oscar says when you tell him you had to do a presentation explaining the engineering behind a piece of machinery and you had chosen a Formula 1 car.
You laugh, shaking your head as you do, “Yeah? I'd take you up on that, but I have a driver who'd be much easier to get a video from.”
Oscar snorts, smiling as you reach the Williams garage, “Lando?”
You roll your eyes as the name leaves his lips, hitting the back of his head with the small bag in your hands, “Don't get me started on Lando. You know he tried to set Logan up with one of his friends?”
Oscar furrows his eyebrows, “What?”
“Yeah, Lando said you told him Logan’s love life was lonely or something like that,” You reply, glancing around passively in search of your husband.
Oscar somehow manages to furrow his eyebrows even deeper, mouth opening and closing in disbelief, “That’s not what I said at all.”
“Tell him that.”
You both walk into the garage after that, you move to make conversation with Benny who’s sat to the side, surprise crossing his face as he sees you.
Oscar, though, spots Logan and makes his way to him quickly. He clasps a hand on the blonde's back who turns to face him with a grin, “What’s up Osc?”
“Lando was flirting with your wife,” Oscar states flatly, trying to push down the grin on his face.
Logan blinks a few times in an attempt to understand what the Aussie just said, “What- why?”
“Don’t think he knew she was your wife, mate.”
Logan rolls his eyes before turning around slightly to resume his conversation with his engineer. He stops mid-turn and swings back around to Oscar quickly, eyes wide, “My wife’s here?”
Oscar laughs at the American's face, stepping out of his line of sight so he can see you conversing with Benny.
Logan grins, sliding past the other boy to step toward you as quick as he can, wrapping his arms around you from behind. Oscar can’t hear what you two say to each other but he can see the love painting your faces as Logan plants a kiss on the top of your head. Benny smiles at the two of you, walking away to let you two talk.
As Oscar leaves the Williams garage, he briefly debates telling Lando you were married, especially to Logan, but he eventually decides not to. He’d figure it out eventually. Also might help to have him learn the hard way.
You sat in the garage for the entire race. But when Logan ends the race in eight, you’re jumping up happily to follow the Williams employee guiding you to where he’ll be.
The moment he’s done being weighed, he runs over to you, pulling his helmet off and unzipping his suit to his hips.
He grasps the side of your face, pulling you to him as he kisses you softly. He pulls away slightly and rests his forehead against yours, lifting a hand to grab the one you have against the side of his face, fingers brushing over your wedding ring.
“Thank you for being here. I love you.”
You can’t help the lovely laugh that escapes you, throwing your head back a bit to escape the heat rising on your cheeks, “I love you too, dork. I’m so proud of you.”
He smiles before leaning to catch you in another kiss.
Lando had finished the race in 4th. Not bad considering who had finished in front of him. He’d already talked to his team so he was now just roaming around, looking for someone to talk to.
He locks eyes on you and takes a few steps toward you before someone comes running past him. He looks over to see Logan grasping your face in his hands before pulling you down into a kiss.
He can’t help but stand in shock for a few moments although he can sense a couple people walking up next to him. He glances beside him to see Charles and Alex, both also staring at Logan in disbelief.
“What the hell?” Lando asks, to no one in particular. Luckily, or unfortunately, for him, someone has an answer.
“Are you lot staring at Logan and his wife?” Lando doesn’t look over to catch the amused look on Oscar’s face as he asks the question. But Alex does, and he furrows his eyebrows at the younger man.
“Sorry?” Alex asks the Aussie who just smiles and turns back to the couple, still smiling in each other's embrace.
Charles is the first one to notice anything and he smacks the other two on the head when he does, “They’re both wearing wedding rings.”
Alex blinks for a second, caught in the strange reality that he hadn’t noticed his teammate wearing a wedding ring the whole season. He pulls out his phone to go through old photos and low-and-behold, Logan’s wearing a ring in every single one.
“Jesus Christ,” Lando mumbles, running a hand through his damp curls, “I flirted with her.”
“Yeah,” Oscar nods, hands on his hips, “I probably wouldn’t talk to Logan for a while if I were you. Unless you want to find out how they do it in Florida.”
Lando gulps at the boy's words, of course, having no idea how they “do it” in Florida but only assuming he’d end up with a black eye. Oscar has to stifle a laugh, knowing Logan would most likely just laugh it off if Lando genuinely apologized. Not that Lando would.
Oscar's eyes drift across the trio of confused drivers, most likely all going through their memories of the times they had tried to set Logan up.
“You told me he was lonely,” Lando finally whines out, turning back to Oscar who shakes his head.
“I told you he was lonely because his girlfriend couldn’t make it to any of the races. If you would listen, you would’ve heard that part.”
Lando has no defence to that and turns his head back again to watch as Logan laughs at something you said, fingers intertwined together.
When the news spread across the paddock the next day, Logan received a lot of incredulous texts from drivers and employees alike, all shocked that he was in a relationship, let alone married.
Logan didn’t read any of them, he was too busy hanging out with you.
Except, of course, the message from Oscar that included three specific drivers all with their eyes wide as they stared at him and you.
——————————————————
Tags: @casperlikej @evie-119
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insanechayne · 1 year ago
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#I’m at a weird point with my partner#like she’s slipped and called me her girlfriend before#literally day one she said it during a conversation later in the day#and we’re very comfortable with each other and flirt over text and call each other cute names and stuff like that#but face to face it’s a little harder simply because I don’t know exactly where we stand in her mind#like we’re pretty much acting like we’re already together#but at the same time we do work together and also have most of our time spent together at work#and I can understand not wanting to be overly affectionate in our workplace of course#but I don’t want it to seem sterile and strictly professional either since it’s a bit more relaxed here anyway#and I do kinda wanna tell people or refer to her as my partner in conversation but I don’t want that to make her uncomfortable#it’s at the point where I feel like I’ll need to ask her if we’re telling people now or something like that#maybe when she’s comfortable enough to put it on Facebook then I’ll know for sure we’re telling people and being open about it#cause so far I’ve only told my mom and my best friend and idk if she’s told anyone at all yet#it’s only been a few days so it’s not like I’m upset that it’s low key and everything#it’s more like needing clarity about where we’re at on the dating scale so I know better how to behave#haven’t done this whole dating thing since I was like 22 which was six years ago#and that only lasted two months and then he cheated on me#and I only ever had one other relationship before that which was in high school with a girl who also cheated on me after two months#so you know my knowledge and confidence for relationships is very minimal and I kinda need some guidance on these things#but also like how do you ask someone when you can start bragging about being with them? that’s probably weird right?#I wish I knew what I was doing here#personal
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