#anyways sorry for rambling i should go to fucking bed it's 1 am

[ginger-grimm]

This one goes out to islapbitch! Just saying if you "call out" (make vivid accusations that give off tea channel vibes) everyone around you and then block everyone who tries to talk to you, you're no better than the people you "call out".

Like, this proves what I said about the anons last year, that they'd be absolute cowards if they ever came off anon and babe, babe you really did it and proved me right with your "I started an argument on tiktok and when it got turned around on me my only excuse was that I'm a minor" looking ass.

Yes, I'm just a little bitter that I was blocked without a proper response to my ask but fuck you anyway.

[unforth]

Alright so my Press planned a meet up, and one of the people came is a friend who lives in Beijing most of the year and was in North America anyway. She knows I love danmei so she made me one heck of an offer: if I put together a Taobao shopping list, she'd be my danmei mule - order it for me and carry the stuff to the US so I could pay just cost, no mark up or shipping.

Needless to say I jumped on this like whoa and asked for more than she was physically capable of bringing me. 🤣 (I was very clear she could say "no" whenever, and she did.) As it is she went so fricken above and beyond...

Top to bottom, it's vol. 1 of the Global Examination manhua, a vol. of Daomu Biji, I Ship My Rival x Me, the TGCF revision (wanting that like whoa is what triggered all this), Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine, Mo Du, Little Mushroom, The Fourteenth Year of Chenghua, and the Global Examination special edition (I had. No idea this one would be this big. Oops.)

There are so many extras. So many. I laid everything out on my bed last night and in my head I just kinda flopped mentally atop it all and basked like a content cat, lmao.

All this adds to my existing collection (SVSSS in traditional, MDZS vol. 1 to 3 in traditional, TGCF vol. 1 to 4 in traditional, Thousand Autumns, Golden Stage, Guardian, Romance of the Three Kingdoms, TGCF manhua vol. 1 and 2, and The Husky and His White Cat Shizun vol. 1 to 3).

Anyway, now goals are to REALLY step up getting "reading ready" on my studying. Part of why I got I Ship My Rival x Me (...outside of "the manhua releases too slow and I want to know what happens") is I thought something modern and fluffy would hopefully be a bit simpler for me to read? And it's also a lot shorter than the others. So, after I read all the manhua (I'm way behind on posting TGCF vol. 1 cause this summer is kicking my ass, but I've read about half of it) I'm gonna sit my ass down with ISMM and see if just maybe I can't make my way through an actual damn book, and then if I can, use the vocabulary building that'll surely result in to springboard me into some other book (I'd been thinking Thousand Autumns but after seeing that post about "distinct character usage" stats for cnovels, uh, maybe not Thousand Autumns lmao, idk, I could try Fourteenth Year of Chenghua, that might be a "simpler" choice for historical vocabulary building but their both Meng Xi Shi so they might both be hard...maybe I should just do TGCF, heck knows I know the story which always helps...sorry, I'm just babbling cause I'm excited about my books and procrastinating taking a shower 🤣🤣🤣)

Anyway.

So many shinies.

So many EXTRAS.

I'll try to post pics as I go through everything.

(I've also got ShanGo pre-orders for Legend of Exorcism manhua vol. 1 and...something else my brain is crickets...and fuck I just realized I missed yesterday's ShanGo cut off, I'll have to get TGCF manhua vol. 3 and Erha vol. 4 some other way, and yes I really am this rambly scattered dumb rn, sorry not sorry, the point is. BOOKS. AH. SO MANY BOOKS. )

[cheolhub]

NO CAUSE IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR WHEN THEY'RE MEAN

but imagine the aftermath, like you would not know how to fucking act after that and it throws you off your game and he wins the next race and !!!

you're so mad. you're so angry he got to your head that much. and he's so fucking smug about it. but of course, it can only go one way at this point, and at the end of the day you end up in his bed again bc what else are you even supposed to do?

AND HE'D BE SO MEAN ABT IT, all "can't believe you're here begging for my cock again. shouldn't you be out training? or are you just that much of a cockhungry slut?"

and it continues like that. it doesn't even matter who wins or who loses anymore, bc the outcome is the same anyways - you crying on his cock, you on your knees for him, you taking whatever he wants to give you. and you know that if this came out it could ruin your career, but you just can't stop.

(okay but spinning off of that earlier ask. what if you're in a crash, maybe it's one if the last races of the season, and he's THE FIRST ONE THERE bc holy shit he got so worried. like he always worries when someone crashes bc this shit is dangerous, but it's different now, and he doesn't quite want to think about what it means yet. (he's a little less mean the next time, not bc he's gotten soft or anything, he swears)) - ☁️

UR SUCH A FUCKING MENACE LIKE IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT. it’s 1 am so that means this is going to be hot shit (the bad kind 😹) ok but seriously if i dont make sense or it reads bad, im so sorry, ive written like 4k words today and my brains fuzzy

wonwoo is so cruel. he’s so fucking cruel. he’s insulting you while fucking you stupid, rambling on and on about how you’re always crawling back into his bed like a shameless loser. about how you have no self-respect whatsoever. about how you should be out training even though you’re going to lose again. and again. and again.

and you’re just taking it because, fuck him, but he makes you feel so good. he bullies his cock into you and makes you cum countless times and it’s just too fucking good. you’re in this toxic… relationship? would you even call it that? you’re in this toxic situationship and you have no idea how to get out of it… or if you even want out of it.

and, cloudnon, you’re 100% right. it doesn’t matter who wins or loses.

if he wins, he’s fucking you as if he were some type of god with the cockiest smirk on his face. if you wanna cum, you have to beg and tell him how much of a loser you are. (woah humiliation kink popped out again my bad)

if you win, he’d be so fucking pissed. so so angry and he’s taking it out on you, immediately adjusting that cocky attitude of yours. makes you cum over and over till your just in tears babbling his name and incoherent pleas.

no matter what, he’s always going to have you begging for more bc you’re just his a pretty, cockhungry slut.

[oh my god i alrdy know that didnt make any fucking sense, BUT WAIT BC UR LIL SPIN OFF THING IS KINDA CUTE ☺️ ill start with a poorly written post-crash bed scene]

you’re fine. you’ve told him several times, but he keeps asking and it’s starting to get on your nerves. but, like, it’s also starting to freak you out a bit. he hasn’t said anything mean to you and the way he handles you is kind of… soft? something you’re not used to at all when you’re under him like this

he’s still a bit freaked out if he’s being honest. you could’ve been really hurt… and it’s morbid… but you could’ve fucking died and he doesnt think he’d be able to stand it if anything really bad happened to you.

he has no idea what he’s feeling right now. he doesn’t want to know. god forbid he have a crush on the his top competitor and god forbid you don’t feel the same way.

you grow impatient with his gentle touches bc you’re dying to have him manhandle you like he usually does, so you sigh out. “wonwoo, told you i’m fine. just a few cuts and bruises. stop worrying so much. you won’t break me.”

he looks at you nervously and your heart squeezes a bit… he’s kinda cute when he’s not being a complete dick. “you sure?”

“i’m sure.”

“i’ll be nicer today,” he mutters, “y’know, since you obviously don’t know how to ride.”

there he is.

you smirk, “oh? why don’t you show me how then?”

he smirks, voice low when he says, “it’d be my pleasure.”

[aquagirl1978]

Things That Go Bump in the Night - Gilbert von Obsidian x Reader (Ikemen Prince)

A/N: My contribution for Day 1 - Modern AU of the "Different Universe, Same Love Content Creator Challenge" hosted by @xxsycamore and @queengiuliettafirstlady

Prompt: modern au

Pairing: Gilbert von Obsidian x Reader

Warnings: campy horror, crack fic, spiders

"Where are you going? It's late. Stay with us.” 

You scoffed as you glanced at Nokto, who was sprawled on his bunk bed, eyes half-lidded and glassy. “You’re drunk.” 

“I’m not drunk,” Clavis piped in.  

Turning to your favorite mischief maker, you smiled sweetly. “Yes, but you will keep me up all night rambling about your ideas on how to prank the campers. How many traps Yves has stepped in this week? And so on and so on.” 

“I need to bounce my ideas off of someone. And Jin... where is Jin?” 

“He had to take a piss. Probably ran into a pretty lady on his way back,” Nokto said, his words slurred as he slumped further onto his bed. 

“See,” Clavis pleaded, pointing to his drunk brother. “You can’t leave me. Not yet.” 

“Sorry. I’m tired. And I am not staying in here with you guys, I’ll never get any sleep.” You grabbed your flashlight on your way to the door. “Goodnight.” 

“You should let one of us keep you company on your way back,” Nokto said while attempting to sit up. “It’s dark out. You never know who or what is lurking out there.” Nokto, unable to remain sitting up, proceeded to fall back into his bed. 

“Thanks, mom, but I’ll pass. My cabin is not that far away, I can make it there on my own. Clavis, you need to stay and babysit your brother. Make sure he doesn’t do anything silly. Like try to get out of the bed.” 

Clavis stood there, pouting slightly, but nodded in acceptance. “Hey, if you see Jin, can you send him back here? I have some ideas I need to discuss with him.” 

“Hey! I’m here...you can talk to...”  

“Sure thing,” you said, stifling a laugh as Nokto snored loudly. You tilted your hand up in one final wave. “Have fun, I’ll be sure to send Jin over if I see him.”  

Closing the cabin door, you flicked your flashlight on, illuminating the pathway before you. “Jin’s a big boy, he can find his way back on his own,” you muttered under your breath. Although it was pitch black out, save for the light the moon provided, you were not scared; this was a trip you frequently made with relative ease. In less than 10 minutes, you would be safe in your bed, tucked under the covers.  

Snap. 

"Ugh!” You flashed your light down below; it was just a tree branch you stepped on. A very loud tree branch, but just a tree branch. It’s nothing, it’s just a stick, you reminded yourself silently. After kicking the branch to the side, you continued on the dark path. 

Careful to avoid any more branches, you slowed your pace, keeping the light bright. You smiled, remembering how sweet Clavis and Nokto were, concerned about your well-being. But the truth was, the scariest thing you could bump into tonight was Chevalier, whose bark was worse than his bite. But the chances of running into him at this hour were slim to none; his nose was most likely buried in one of his many, many romance books. 

Plunk. 

You heard a man groan loudly, his familiar voice coming from the same direction as the noise. Swinging the light in your hands around the tree nearby, your heartbeat quickened, certainly not expecting what you found. 

“For fucks sake, Jin,” you whisper-screamed. “What are doing here? Your brothers were wondering what happened to you.” You offered your hand to help him get up. 

Jin, a bit shaky on his feet, was rubbing his head. “I came out here to, um, take a leak.” Rolling your eyes, you waved your hand, urging him to continue. “And I dunno, this spot here just looked really comfy so I took a seat.” 

“Jin, you were gone for over a half an hour.” 

“Yeah, and I might have drunk a bit too much whiskey? Anyways, I sat down, and then this acorn decided to go and fall flat on my head.”  

You couldn’t help but laugh at Jin’s poor predicament. “I promised your brothers I’d send you back to the cabin if I ran into you. So, off you go.” 

“Maybe I’ll go back to your cabin for a bit,” Jin offered, his hand covering the huge yawn that was trying to escape.  

“Thanks, but Clavis is waiting for you. He needs to discuss pranks with you.” 

“He has Nokto there!” 

“Nokto’s not really all there right now,” you smirked. 

Jin sighed. “Alright, I guess I should get going then.” With a wave, he bid you goodnight and headed back to his cabin. 

Twisted around from your distraction, you swung the flashlight in a wide circle trying to make sense of where you were. You heard a noise – it's just another acorn, you told yourself – and glanced up at the full moon shining bright above you, wondering what other tricks it had for you this evening.  

Crack. 

Your head jerked towards the sound; your heart raced as fear began to build in the pit of your belly. Yours eyes flicked all around, flashlight following.  

You felt it. 

The skin on the back of your neck pricked. You felt like a rabbit being stalked. This was not like the other times. This was no random acorn falling from the sky. 

You felt like you were being watched. 

Correction. You knew were being watched. Straining your ears, you heard the light crunch of footsteps in the grass. Best case scenario, Nokto wandered from his cabin and you’ll need to return him. Worst case, Chevalier is prowling the woods, ready to scold you for being out of your cabin late at night. 

Wrapping your arm around your body, you hugged your red hoodie tightly across your chest; your eyes scanning the woods for anything. Or anyone. 

Continuing along the dark path, you heard another noise. A twig snapping, perhaps? You jerked your head, waving the flashlight in your clammy hands.  

“What's that?” you called out. “Jin? That better not be you.” You heard another noise in the nearby distance. Flashing your light around, you tried to calm down, telling yourself that it was just another acorn.  

You heard it again. Footseps. 

Panning the light left and right, your breath became shallow as your eyes searched the shadows. You spun in your spot hoping to catch a glimpse of what was out there, only to end up dizzy and disoriented. Frustrated, you sighed as your ran a hand through your hair, wishing that Clavis would jump out from behind the bushes.  

Upon hearing a faint noise, you flashed the light one more time. You screamed, nearly dropping the flashlight, when the light shined on a single red eye glittering in the moonlight.  

“Did I scare you?” Gilbert asked, a friendly smile spreading on his lips. Dressed all in black, it was easy to see how he remained hidden in the shadows this entire time, his dark eyepatch masking another glowing eye. 

Gilbert von Obsidian. He was a counsellor at Camp Obsidian on the other side of the lake that separated the two campsites. You had never met him before, but you had heard stories of the young man who wore an eye patch. Shrouded in mystery, you had assumed much of what you had heard was purely the gossip of bored kids. Smart as a whip, trampler of hearts, every story about him shared one common theme – avoid at all costs. But seeing him in the flesh, you found a part of yourself wanting to reach for him. 

“What’s a lone bunny like you doing out in the woods this late at night?” He traced the outline of the Camp Rhodolite logo over your heart on your red hoodie, hoping and praying that he did not feel how fast it was beating. “You’re far from home and these woods can be a scary place. It’s a good thing you ran into me.” 

You gritted your teeth in frustration; his words were anything but reassuring. Schooling your composure, you stared back at him. “I could ask you the same thing.” 

“I can see the moon better on this side of the lake.” 

You stared at him blankly, confused by his cryptic answer. Okay, Mr. von Obsidian, if that’s how you want to play. 

He took a step closer to you; his hand reaching out to you, his fingertips touched a loose tendril of your hair. Adrenaline flooded your system; you weren’t sure if you wanted to stay or scream. 

“Hold on,” he whispered softly as lightly tugged on your hair. “There.” He pulled his hand away, and held it up to the moonlight where you saw a single spider crawling on his skin. “Didn’t think you’d want that visitor on you.” He held his fingers close to his lips and blew on his skin, sending the spider drifting off into the midnight breeze. Your heartbeat slowed, the gentle gesture both unexpected and comforting, the urge to reach out to him increasing.  

“Thank you.” You weren’t sure what came over you, but you found yourself standing on tiptoes, your lips brushing against his. His mouth pressed firmly against yours, his lips were soft and gentle. One taste of his cool kiss and you were already enchanted by his spell; he was welcome to trample all over your heart. 

Breaking the kiss far too early, he pulled back and smiled at you. “The moon is beautiful tonight; it’s glowing, gorgeous.”  

Only he wasn’t looking up at the sky; he was gazing straight into your eyes. 

Wait. 

Something he said earlier came back to haunt you - “I can see the moon better on this side of the lake.” You were the moon. He wasn’t being weirdly cryptic earlier; he was talking about you. He wasn’t there by some happy accident; he was waiting for you. 

You shivered, realization dawning on you that perhaps there was a shred of truth to the rumors and that maybe you should heed their warning – avoid Gilbert von Obsidian at all costs.  

“I should be going...” You were almost there, in just a few minutes you would be back in your cabin, tucked in your bed surrounded by your friends. Safe. Away from him. 

“Come with me. I’ll keep you safe.” He extended his hand to you, a gentle smile spread on his lips. There was something that pulled you to him; how many others had he charmed with that soft smile? Daring to dance with danger, you slipped your hand in his, his cool touch stinging as his fingers intwined with yours. 

Safe from what? How can he keep you safe, if what you needed protecting from was him? 

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[from-a-reckless-writer]

“So, Andrea asked me out, today.”

“Fucking finally,” Sam mutters under her breath, rolling her eyes at Lena as if Lena’s an idiot who should’ve seen this coming.

“I’m sorry what? What do you mean, ‘finally’?” 

“Oh my God, do you seriously have no clue about it?”

“About what?” This time it was Kara who speaks up. They were having a Girls’ Night tonight, well, usually it was just a Kara and Lena night, but Sam came in for a rare visit and here they all are. 

“About how Lena apparently is an idiot who still doesn’t know that Andrea has been making heart-eyes at her since Day 1,” Sam deadpans and Lena’s eyes widen, brows shooting up to her forehead.

“What? What- No, she doesn’t. Oh my God, Sam! She’s my best friend. We go way back, there is nothing— Sam! Stop laughing, I’m serious!”

“Oh, honey, ever since boarding school she’s had a thing for you. She wouldn’t ask if it was nothing. Remember the first time I met with her?” Sam asks and Lena just nods because, okay what the fuck she really needs time to process this.

“She was jealous, she thought I was coming on to you or something, but then you said I was just a business associate and she calmed down,” Sam finishes and flashes of memory zip unto Lena’s brain. Yes, she does remember that day, how Andrea had acted hostile and odd until they met up again with Sam again during that merger and-

Oh my God. 

 “Ah, there it is. Moment of realization hit hard much? Here, have a drink, buddy.”

Sam thinks this is funny. 

Sam thinks this is so funny and she is so smug about being right and Lena wants to wash the damn smugness off of her face. Sam was too busy laughing and Lena was too busy plotting to kill Sam that they failed to notice how Kara completely turned silent. 

“Good of her to finally have the guts to ask you out. Been a long time coming,” Sam rambles mindlessly sipping at her wine. 

“Wait, I’m still processing— Why didn’t she say anything?” 

“Probably didn’t want to ruin your friendship.”

“Then why now?”

“I don’t know, maybe because she tried not asking you out to keep your friendship. But shit happened and your friendship was lost anyway, but now she doesn’t have anything to lose so maybe she thought, might as well...” Sam shrugs as if it were nothing, but Lena, Lena’s brain was scrambling and— 

“Man, am I glad, I chose this week to visit. Say yes already, and me and Kara would even help you choose a dress. Right, Kara?”

They both turn to Kara, who has been uncharacteristically quiet this past few minutes.

“Huh? Wha- Oh, yeah. Yeah. Dress, right. Yeah,” Kara stutters out and Lena knows something is definitely wrong.

“Are you okay?” She asks and Sam just raises a brow at her.

“Oh, yeah. Just—  long day, you know?” 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

But the answer was subdued and Lena wasn’t really all that convinced but Sam is interrogating her again and she really just wants to solve this Andrea Dilemma first. Besides, she’s staying over anyway, she can talk to Kara later.

“How did she ask you out? Spill, right now. Spare us no details.” 

Well…

***

“Well, I’m glad that we got that over with.”

“Couldn’t have done it without you, Andrea.”

“Mm, that’s nice to hear. I missed that, coming from you. I- I missed you.”

“Andrea Rojas, you’re getting soft on me. But for what it’s worth I missed you too.”

“Listen, I uh- I wanna ask you something, but you have to promise me you’ll think about it.”

“Is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Gotodinnerwithme.”

“Did you say dinner?”

“Yeah, I- want to get dinner. With you. Possibly. As my date.”

“Oh.”

***

“Well, can you blame me? I didn’t know she— “ Lena trailed off, finding it hard to think of words.

“Oh?! Oh?! That’s the only thing you said?!” Sam screeches, wine sloshing about in her glass.

“Didn’t know she had feelings for you?” Kara finishes for her with an unreadable look on her face that Lena desperately wants to decipher. But can’t. Not with Sam hovering. 

"Yeah, that,” Lena says lamely, this is ridiculous. She feels like a teenager unaware of how to function in the real world just because a pretty girl asked her to dinner. But to be fair though, Andrea isn’t just some pretty girl.

Andrea was…

Something. 

Yeah, Andrea was Lena’s something. Once. 

“I mean, I did say I was going to think about it. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings but I also didn’t want to lead her on? But I think I kind of did? Did I? Oh, fuck this. Somebody get me more wine.”

Sam pours her a generous amount.

“Well, the question is, do you want to go out with her?”

“I don’t...know,” She admits and Sam just looks at her with the kind of  eyes she sees her make when she wants Ruby to understand something. 

“The question is a simple yes or no, Lena. If you don’t want to, then don’t. If you want to, then go. You don’t owe anybody. If she feels that way, she feels that way. It’s not your fault she caught feelings. You can always say no.”

“I know that, but— “

“But what?”

“It’s Andrea.”

Before Sam can give her another lengthy advice, her friend's phone buzzes and her niece’s face lights up the screen.

“Well, that’s my cue,” Sam says before picking up and telling her daughter that yes, she’s coming home soon. 

“I guess we should call it a night,” Lena voices out as Sam hangs-up. Sam gives both of them bear hugs, whispering in her ear, “You’re going to tell me everything, after.”

And Lena kicks her out of the apartment with an eye-roll. 

She hears Kara moving behind her, probably using her superspeed so Lena doesn’t have to do anything. 

“Hey,” Lena calls out carefully, she’s been eyeing Kara all night and she can’t ignore that something was up.

 “Yeah?” Kara answers coming from the kitchen, wiping her wet hands on her pants as she approaches.

“Sit with me?” 

Lena gestures to the other unoccupied side of the couch. Kara plops down with a sigh, Lena automatically putting her feet up on Kara’s lap. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

To which Kara answered with, “No.”

Well, Lena wasn’t expecting that. Kara tells her everything, that was their thing. Lena has no idea how it happened but Kara tells her everything and Lena tells Kara everything, that’s just them. That was how it is. So, Lena was more than baffled at Kara’s silence. 

“Okay, then. Help me with my problem instead?”

“Fine.”

Cold. Wow, Okay. Okay. She wasn’t going to push but this is really odd behavior for Kara. 

“Do- do you think, I should say yes?

”“To Andrea?”

“To Andrea,” Lena confirms and Kara tosses her head back on the sofa and closes her eyes.

“I don’t know, Lena. That’s...your choice— “

“I know it’s my choice, I’m just asking for your input. How ‘bout a pro’s and con’s list?”“Pro’s first,” Lena says and begins a list, “She knows things about me, in a way that most people would never, that’s a good reason, right?”

“Yeah th-that’s good. She’s rich,” Kara adds and Lena laughs at that.

“Darling, I’m rich too.”

“Well, that’s another pro, you’re on the same level. No worrying about the media, no worrying about tight schedules because she’d understand, anyway. No worrying about gala dates because she’s going to be there, too. No worrying about what friends would say, it’s clear Sam approves and Jess would too. No worrying about long distances since I heard she’s staying around. She’s…”

Kara pauses and there’s this moment where Lena is just looking at her, Kara’s words looping in her head. As if Kara has thought about Andrea dating her a million times before, and what that might mean, as if—

“-perfect. She’s perfect for you, Lena. There’s— uh there’s no competing with that,” Kara’s voice trails off, “I don’t think there’s any con, about dating her. So, there you go. I helped didn’t I? I— You know what? I’m tired, I-”

Kara doesn’t even bother finishing her sentence, just pushes Lena’s legs off her lap and stands-up. Shoulders defeated and foot-steps heavy. Lena stays there on the couch. Usually, they’d get ready for bed together, but Lena has a feeling that Kara wants space, right now. So, she sits there, in the silence of Kara’s apartment, mind running a mile a minute about the implications of Kara’s behavior, listening to the way Kara’s flitting about in the bedroom, before she hears the duvet rustle and she knows it’s time. 

Lena takes her time, brushing her teeth, putting on the pajamas she keeps at Kara’s, combing her hair. She knows Kara never falls asleep without bidding her good night first. But the silence from Kara’s end makes her believe her best friend had already been taken by slumber. 

Lena slowly climbs into bed, Kara laying on her side, facing away from Lena. She claims her side and slowly leans into Kara’s back, she can feel Kara stiffen from the close proximity. Lena takes a breath and starts wrapping her arms around Kara, spooning her. Lena gives herself a moment to just breathe her in. Kara doesn’t relax.

“You know, there is a con,” She starts and she knows Kara’s listening, “There’s one con, about dating Andrea.” she waits for Kara to reply, hoping that she would.

“What?”

“She’s not you.”

“What?”

“She’s—“ Lena inhales, braces herself, fucking now or never, “She’s not Kara Zor-El. She’s not the woman I want to be dating. She’s not the one who I want to ask me to dinner. She’s not you, Kara.”

She feels Kara turn and Lena slowly loosens her arms so Kara can face her.God, her eyes are so blue even in the dark. 

“Lena, what?”

“Then why would you ask if you should date Andrea?” Kara asks, voice small and Lena clings to her tighter, puts a palm against her cheek.

“You already said that, darling,” she teases before clarifying, “I said, I want you. I don’t want Andrea. I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”

“Okay, wow. I— give me a minute, wow okay, wow.” Kara stutters out in disbelief. As if Lena would want anybody but her. 

“I needed to know if you felt the same. I have been trying, Kara. I’ve been trying to tell you how I feel. Wishing you’d pick up on it but I don’t know if you don’t notice or you just really don’t see me that way, but tonight—”

“Tonight, what? What gave me away?”

“You don’t really think, I won’t notice when you’re hurting, do you? The moment I mentioned Andrea, your face fell. You were quiet the whole night. Not to mention you were giving me the cold shoulder once Sam left.”

“I thought I was being subtle,” Kara whispers sheepishly and Lena can’t fight the grin off her face. 

“You weren’t,” Lena breathes and becomes aware of the fact that Kara’s lips are right there, and she’s pretty sure that if she asks, Kara would kiss her. Kara would kiss her, right?

“Kara— “

“Can I— “

They say at the same time and Lena doesn’t really know nor does she care who leaned in first, just that their lips are pressed together, and it’s perfect. This moment is perfect and Lena wants to keep this moment tucked away in her heart, somewhere only she and Kara have permission to.

 And God, they were just as bad as the other. Idiots pining, sneaking glances, buying companies, heroic saves, but Lena guesses it doesn’t really matter, because now they have this.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

***

Three weeks later, Lena receives a call from Metropolis, Sam’s name flashing briefly on her screen.

“You have a shit ton of explaining to do, Lena Luthor. What the fuck did Jess mean when she said, ‘Miss Luthor and Miss Danvers are out on a lunch date as of the moment.’?”

[dxrkdreamer]

How I nearly killed Sukuna... A narrative (Yuji x Reader x Sukuna Crack)

Part 1/?

Word count: 1.3 k

Genre: crack and a bit of fluff and a bit of angst and a sprinkle of crazy

Warnings: mentions of blood and a car accident

A/N: Hi everyone! This was inspired by the show Dead to me (if you haven’t watched it you’re missing out *cries*) and I thought it would be fun to write my own version of the story but with men from JJK.

---------------------------------------------------------------

“Ugh I’m a grown fucking adult why am I being treated like a fucking 5 year old!” you yelled to yourself in your car, the angsty music blaring loudly. Yep, what a great way to start your day at 6 am. You had gotten into a dispute with your mom when you came downstairs in the early hours of the morning to bake muffins. And now you were rage driving down a forested path just off your town, it was a common path for early morning joggers because it was peaceful and usually vehicle free. And usually free of crazy girls driving above the speed limit.

You had finished your final year of your undergraduate, and like most you had no idea what the heck you wanted to do with your life. So you came back to the town you grew up in…. To live with your parents until you figured something out, or atleast found a job related to your field. Annoyingly enough, most of the kids in your highschool seemed to have come back too, and you ran into a few familiar faces, much to your dread.

“First fucking Mai has the audacity to tell me I dress like I’m stuck in the 90s, then my mom has to say I should slow down on my fucking eating. I’ll eat whatever the fuck I want, its not hurting anyone!” you rambled on “The 90s had good fashion! And my outfit was cute! And I’m trying to grow my booty, ofcourse I’ll gain some fucking weight- WOAH” you yelped swerving your car as you hit… a deer, shutting your eyes tightly as your car came to a halt. Praying that it was a pink deer you hit. Okay, breathe in, breathe out (Y/N), you gulped opening your eyes as you stepped out of the car. Your shaky legs carried to the scene as you repeated the deer mantra.

“It was just a pink dear that was standing on its hind legs… s’okay it's just a possibly dead-”

You froze as you felt your soul leave you, and it seemed even the angel of death was disgusted by you and had thrown your soul back into your body as your vision cleared and your mouth started trembling.

“A possibly dead Sukuna….” well fawk “Yeah no way am I getting caught for this” and with adrenaline pumping in you and a new found strength in your legs, you jumped in your car and drove off to the nearest clearing, hopping out and jogging back towards the body, pulling out your phone.

“Hello, 911 what’s your emergency”

“Hi! There's, uhhh there's-” you stuttered as reality was hitting you in waves as you stared down at the horror “There’s a body… It’s still breathing and there's a lot of blood…”

-----

You drove back home in silence, and went straight to your bed without uttering a word to your family.

You were terrified because you almost killed a man. Fucking Sukuna of all men. He was the very handsome high school bully. Very loved and feared. “He had it coming from someone anyways” you grumbled, he had definitely harassed and made at least half the student body cry. He was two years older than you and relentless as ever.

Second, you lied to the fucking cops. And you were the first witness on the scene. They wouldn’t call again would they? You gulped hiding under the covers. I need to leave town! You thought, but as you checked your bank account you realized without a job it was not ideal to do.

“Ughhhhhh, I almost killed a man holy shit” you groaned, slumping and hiding deeper. “I can’t leave my house ever again” The dread settled in and pulled you deeper into your guilty consciousness and you felt like you would throw up for the millionth time today.

That lasted about 3 days until you realized you were hungry and wholesome home cooked meals were not cutting it. You needed fat and sugar.

“All dressed chips or… barbecue” You wondered, your thumb played with your lip as you analyzed your options “or maybe even cheetos?” It may be awhile until you leave your house again so you piled all three in your arms, your basket already full of other goodies. You took another glance at the aisle as you began walking down towards the checkout, passing by the produce section “And I guess strawberries…. For health” you grumbled picking up the small container, barely able to balance your basket, the chips and berries in your two hands.

“Almost there… almost there” You kept walking, rounding the corner and-

“Fuck! Ouch!” You groaned as someone’s cart banged against you and you dropped your chips, much to your horror, oh and dropped the berries too that were now crushed under the cart’s wheel, staining the floor in red, almost like blood... you grimaced.

“I’m so sorry I should have watched where I was going! Are you okay! Again, I’m so sorry!” you heard a familiar voice and saw a tuft of pink hair crouching down to pick up your items. And for a second time you felt what it was like to have your soul leave your body, and then be rejected and thrown back down.

“Uh, it’s okay” You mumbled, grabbing the things from his hand, turning around, ready to run away and never come back.

“Hey, wait (Y/N)?” he grabbed your elbow turning you around to face him “Hey! How are you?! Did you forget about me already!” he smiled brightly and then pouted at the end.

Dear God…. “What! Yuji! Sorry I couldn’t recognize you for a sec!” You cringed at how shrill your voice must have sounded. “How’s uhh..” How’s Sukuna? “How was university? Are you back too?”

“Oh yeah, I just came back a few days ago, I was looking for a job where I was living before but my brother sort of... got into an accident” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh I heard” Shut the fuck up for two seconds please “I mean, I saw him on my morning jog” I hit him I’m so sorry I’m such a pussy.

“You what” his eyes were wide “Were you the one who called? Oh my God, thank you so much (Y/N)! He’s probably only alive because of you!” He gasped and pulled you in for a hug.

He’s also almost dead ‘cuz of me… You shook your head and hugged him back, wrapping your arms around him back and pulling him in tightly and rubbing soothing circles on his shoulder. “Yuji…” you mumbled about tearing up, his strong arms and warmth soothed you and you wanted to rest your head against his chest and confess your sins. But he had enough before you could open your mouth and pulled away shortly after apologizing for his outburst.

“It’s no problem Yuji, How is he anyways…” You asked, biting your lip nervously.

“Well, he’s alive” he chuckled dryly “but he’s in a coma, but the doctors said he’d wake up soon, hopefully” you noticed how he was clenching his fists in his pockets. “If anything he probably had it coming anyways” he laughed

“That's what I thought too!” You yelled and then covered your mouth from embarrassment of your inappropriate outburst, but Yuji just looked at you and burst out laughing even harder.

And his next words hit you hard.

“Wanna hang out? I could use the company, my parents are driving me mad” he shyly asked, trying to act casual about it.

And for the nth time today your mouth spoke without permission “Sure! That sounds great!”

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE BLOOD Vol.2: Mukami Kou [Track 1+2]

Original title: 目隠しされて & 無神コウ

Source: Diabolik Lovers More, Blood Vol. 2: Mukami Kou [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here (00:00~14:03)

Seiyuu: Kimura Ryouhei

Translator’s note: Continuing my marathon of MB CDs, everyone’s favorite idol Kou-kun is up next! I’m not a huge Kou fan myself, but he’s the main bias of my best friend so I’m always reminded of her when I translate his CDs. :p I used to find his voice quite annoying in the past, but in this CD, it didn’t bother me too much.

Track 1+2 ll Track 3+4 ll Track 5+6 ll Track 7+8 ll Track 9+10

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1: Blindfolded

“...Hey!”

*Creaaak*

“Hey, you...!”

*Creaaak*

“Are you listening?”

*Rustle rustle*

“Say, say...~”

*Rustle rustle*

[00:15] “...Ah! Seems like you finally woke up! Ahー Thank god! You just kept on snoozing forever, for a second I thought you’d never wake up again!”

You look around, seeming confused.

“Eh? You want to know where you are...? Eeh...~ How cruel! You don’t recall? ーー Everything that happened before getting here, I mean.”

You flinch.

“Ahaha~ Seems like you remembered, huh? Exactly. I kidnapped you here~”

You ask him why.

[00:52] “...’Why’? You’ve been asking an awful lot of questions this whole time, haven’t you? Oh well, I guess it can’t be helped. After all, you’re currently stuck in pitch-black darkness. I guess it makes sense to grow anxious or scared...Fufufu~ But rest assured.”

*Rustle*

“I’ll explain the whole situation step by step, okay? First and foremost, you’re currently blindfolded, lying on top of my - Mukami Kou-kun’sーー

*Rustle*

ーー bed, you see~”

*Rustle rustle*

[01:31] “As for why I kidnapped you. Hmー There’s a few, but one of them would be because you’re a special human. ...Fufu~ Do you know what that means? It basically implies that you’re in a different league from just any other regular human out there. You might not be aware of it yourself, but to our species, your existence stands out as extraordinary.”

*Rustle*

“Actually, you know that already, don’t you? You’re being kept as a pet over at the Sakamaki manor after all.”

You protest.

“...Eh? You’re not being ‘kept’? Ah, sorry, sorry! I didn’t quite put it right, did I? I take back my words. More accurately, you’re their...prey, aren’t you?”

He pins you down.

*Thud*

[02:23] “Fufu...Ahahaha~ No need to look so dissatisfied. It’s the truth, isn’t it? Besides, that’s the second reason which made me interested in you so I dare argue it’s a good thing?”

*Creaaak*

“Hm? You want to know who I am? Didn’t I name myself earlier? You’ve got such bad memory.”

You shake your head.

[02:51] “Ah...That’s not what you meant? Ahー Gotcha. Hm...Can I spill the beans already? But I feel like Ruki-kun will give me an earful if I do and he’s a pain to deal with when he’s upset. ...Let’s see...~ Fufu...~ I’ll tell you when I feel like it, okay?”

*Creaaak*

“Anyway, I gave you an answer to your questions so happy now? More importantly, I want to know about you first. All sorts of things...~”

*Rustle*

[03:32] “We actually managed to get a hold of their weakness, so just like Ruki-kun is always saying, I should get an idea of what I’m dealing with. So to start off, I better do a little investigating to find out what exactly makes you so special...~”

*Rustle rustle*

“Fufu~ You’re shaking...My touch is still foreign to you, isn’t it? No need to be so scared though. I’m a nice guy after all.”

He pulls you close.

[04:04] “Here, I’ll stroke your head for you. ...Good girl, good girl...So stop trembling, okay?”

*Rustle*

“Hm...You’re more alert than I thought. Fufu~ You’re letting them have their way with you despite that?”

You protest again.

[04:28] “How odd...Or perhaps you’re simply feigning this cautious attitude? In that case, you’re one hell of a naughty kitten~ They say that a skillful hunter gets a kick out of going after highly alert prey and honestly, I think I may understand where they’re coming from. It’s boring when something is too easy to get. ーー I can already get my hands on pretty much everything I want through my job after all.”

*Rustle*

“...Ah! But I don’t really like how I’m implying those guys are skilled by saying that. What do you think? As the one they’re hunting for, how do you feel about them?”

You remain quiet.

[05:17] “Heeey~ Aren’t you going to answer? Giving me the silent treatment is a little mean, don’t you think? Hmー I guess it’s a little difficult of a question to start off with. In that case, let me ask you an easy one. Ah, right! How about this? ーー Does it really feel good to have them suck your blood? You know, does it make you feel like you’ve ascended to another world? Like your body is just floating mid-air~”

*Rustle*

“...No answer once again? You really are dull, geez. What will get you to talk? Should I ask you about your favorite spots? Or perhaps you really don’t care about those guys at all?”

*Rustle*

[06:12] “Ahー I’m kind of fed up with this already. I’m out here trying my best to be nice and all I get in return is the cold shoulder. What are you playing at?”

You explain.

“...You can’t say those things to someone you’ve only just met? Heh~ I see...That makes sense now that you mention it. In that case, I suppose I have to introduce myself  first.”

Track 2: Mukami Kou

He removes the blindfold.

*Rustle*

“Here. Take a cloooose look at my face. I removed your blindfold as well. See? I’m this close to you. Our lips could almost touch.”

You look straight at him.

[00:19] “...Fufu~ Can you see me? I guess I should say ‘nice to meet you’? I’m sorry for suddenly abducting you like that earlier~ However, it would have been difficult to take you away otherwise. I guess you could say it was the optimal timing? It really was my one chance.

...Say, are you the type who doesn’t watch television very often? Well, I guess you don’t strike me as a girl who would.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“Ah, no, I’m just talking to myself. I just figured that you’d probably recognize me if you watched TV every now and then. Not that it matters though.”

*Rustle*

[00:57] “But really, things went surprisingly well if I may say so myself. I’m sure those guys are frantically looking around for you right about now. After all, their precious little treat was snatched away from right underneath their nose, haha~! Fufu...Ahahaha! Just remembering those foolish expressions on their faces makes me laugh.”

*Rustle rustle*

“And I’m going to dig into their precious meal soon...Haah...Somehow just being this close to you makes my breath hitch.”

*Rustle*

“Is this what you’re capable of? Say, how come you’re this delicious?”

*Sniff sniff*

“...You smell amazing. What kind of scent is this? Hm...~”

Kou takes a deep breath.

[01:55] “I can’t get enough of it...I wonder where it’s coming from?”

*Sniff sniff*

“Not here...”

*Rustle*

“Then here maybe?”

*Sniff*

“I can’t quite tell through your clothes...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Why not take them off? It’s not like you need them, do you? ...Come on, hurry. The scent on the fabric is throwing me off.”

*Rustle*

“Come on, go ahead!”

You hesitate.

[02:29] “...Hurry up, will you? You might not guess it, but I’m not the most patient guy around. If you refuse to take them off yourself...You’re not going to have a good time.”

You refuse.

“...Tsk. Ahー What a fucking drag! Do you think I’m a joke or something? Do you have any idea what’ll happen if you oppose me like that?”

*Creaaak*

“Ugh...”

*Thud*

“I’ve gotten a little irritated you see. And once that happens, everything starts to annoy me. So that look you’re giving me...Ahaha...It pisses me off.”

*Rustle*

[03:12] “...I’m going to gauge out those eyes of yours, for real. I happen to kind of like that sorta stuff.”

You start taking off your clothes.

“...Huh? You’re gonna strip? Ahー So you’ve chosen to obey? How boring. I just had so many good ideas of things to do to you.”

*Rustle rustle*

“Anyway, if you’re just gonna bend to someone’s will in the end anyway, wouldn’t it be better to simply listen from the very start? Or did you want me to snap at you?”

You shake your head.

“Ah, I see! Right! You’re that kind of girl, aren’t you? You wanted me to lose my temper...so I’d treat you horribly, right? Fufu~ What an M-neko-chan you are~”

You seem confused by the nickname.

[04:03] “Hm? You want to know what ‘M-neko’ means? Isn’t that obvious? You’re more stupid than I thought. The ‘M’ is the same one as in ‘Do-M’, duh! Masochists, you know? You’re the type of girl who gets a kick out of the pain, aren’t you?”

*Creaaak*

“With that kind of personality, I can understand why you’d enjoy spending time with those guys. We’re capable of pleasing you in ways a regular human never could after all. Fufu...~ Is it true the pain is addictive?”

You try and explain.

[04:45] “When you put it like that, I almost want to turn into a human girl for one day and have a bunch of Vampires feast upon my blood~ Well, of course, I much prefer being the one doing the sucking. ...Aah, I was told this as well. Apparently having your blood sucked feels like strong currents of electricity running through your entire body, is that true? How nice~ I’m envious~”

You frown.

“That being said, I’d rather not get bitten myself. I’d love to get a taste of that pleasure, but I’d rather die than let some other Vampire pierce me with his fangs. Heh~ ...Ah, oh no, I’ve been rambling...”

*Rustle*

[05:39] “Come on, take those clothes off. I’ll figure out where this delicious scent is coming from first. You’re hiding it underneath that dull (1) outfit of yours, aren’t you? ーー Your precious secret~”

You start to take off the rest of your clothes.

“Fufu...Exactly~ You’ve got to show me your meek side like that, or else I might just poke your eyes out~”

You tell him you’re done.

[06:08] “...Eh? You took them off? Now don’t be ridiculous. When I say ‘strip’, I obviously meant everything, right? You move your jacket to the side a little and call that ‘taking off your clothes’? Heeh...You really must be making fun of me, aren’t you? ...Listen, I hate being ridiculed more than anything...There are many girls in this world who would kill to be in this kind of situation with me, you know? Yet here you are, living that dream...”

*Rustle*

“Ah, right! You’re just pretending to be embarrassed but you’re actually happy, aren’t you?”

*Rustle*

“Oh! Or perhaps...You want me to rip you apart? I would never resort to such violent actions though. I mean, there’s nothing fun about tearing apart someone who won’t even scream from the pain, is there? Fufu...~”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) More specifically, he describes her clothes as lacking even the faintest hint of sexiness.

[captain-mcdavid]

alternate ending - pt.1

it’s been two years... josh and y/n have moved on and started new lives. but what happens when they find themselves in the same city working side by side? can they move past their previous games and reconnect? or will old habits die hard?

word count: 4.9k

smut: yes | no

warnings: swearing, alcohol

“Oh my god, please Thomas.” You groan, “Please, can you just be serious for one second. One second!” 

He raises his hands in defeat, “Okay, fine.” 

“Thank you,” You sigh, “Now go.” 

“Wait, what am I supposed to say again?” He asks, and you and the videographer share a look before you roll your eyes. 

“Bienvenue à nouveau, fans des habs.” You remind him. “On three, okay?” He nods, and you count down, smiling when it finally goes off without a hitch. “Alright now one more time, in English and then we can all go home.” 

He nods, and then shoots you a wink. You shake your head at him, counting up to three for the last time.

“Welcome back, habs fans!” Thomas says, and Ted, your videographer smiles.

“Done.” He turns off the camera, and you give him a pat on the back.

“We really appreciate you coming in Thomas,” You say, “Thanks again.”

“Anything for you, Y/N.” He smirks, and then he heads out.

“Alright, Ted. I’ll see you soon,” You say, gathering your things. “Have a good night.”

With that you wave and head out of the arena. Setting your things in the front seat of your Range Rover, you grin, taking a minute to admire your new car. This was something that would have taken you five years to save up for with the pay at your old job.

It’s kind of ironic, where you were two years ago to where you are now... You didn’t like your job back in Ohio but you couldn’t say you ever saw yourself coming back to Canada, let alone working for an NHL team. 

You thought you had it all figured out back in Columbus. But after your life took a nose dive you realized you really didn’t. A fresh start was what you needed, and luckily with your vast experience in media, you were qualified for a position that Seth recommended to you. A position as head of media operations for the Montreal Canadiens. 

You were weary at first, because why would you want to work in the NHL after you had a huge falling out with one of the players, but the more thought you gave it, the better the offer seemed. It was in Montreal, one of the most beautiful cities in the world, the pay was double what you were getting in Ohio, and it would be a lot more fun.

Not to mention, there were 31 teams in the NHL, and if the one guy you were worried about did ever leave Columbus, there was a ninety three percent chance he wouldn’t come to Montreal. (Literally, you calculated.)

And now it’s been two years, arguably the best two years of your life. You have everything you didn’t have in Ohio; Stable friendships, a job you actually enjoy, a great support system. You’ve gained in every aspect of your life.

You’ve just walked in your front door, when your phone rings. You pull it out of your purse, laughing when you see your bosses name lighting up the screen. “It’s been ten minutes, Reid.” You say, and he laughs. “I’m off the clock.”

“I know, I know.” He responds. “I’m sorry, just this and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Okay, shoot.” You tell him. 

“Tomorrow, media day, I split the players in half for you. We’ll do the first half tomorrow, and then the rest Friday.” 

“Sounds fine to me.” You shrug, “What changed?” 

“We have two new players flying in tomorrow, but they won’t be in until Friday. I figured instead of saving just the two newbies for Friday and rushing you tomorrow with the rest of the guys, we’d just split it evenly.” He explains. 

“Oh,” You say, usually you found out rather quickly when there were trades and new acquisitions, but you hadn’t heard anything today. “I didn’t know we got any new players, trades?”

“Yeah, two trades. I don’t know much, it just happened. New guys are, uh- let me see...” There’s a fast beating in your heart that you haven’t felt for at least a year. When you first started, every time you heard about a trade you’d get a little nervous, cause what if it was him? Eventually those nerves went away, but they seem to have made a comeback all of the sudden. 

You shake out your jitters while you wait for Reid to give you the names, “Here they are, first guy: Joel Edmundson, from Carolina.” You nod, it’s a name you’ve never heard before. 

“Second, Josh Anderson, from Columbus.” 

But that one? It’s a name you’ve heard all too many times. 

Thank god you’re not driving anymore, because you’re sure you would have swerved into oncoming traffic after hearing that. You can feel a chill spread all the way out to your finger tips, a unsettling nervous feeling sitting on your shoulders like a goblin. This can’t be happening. 

He can’t be coming here. 

“Y/N?” 

The phone is still held to your ear, but you can barely breathe let alone get a word out. 

“Are you there?” Reid asks, and finally you manage to just murmur out a noise of acknowledgement, and then you’re hanging up, nearly collapsing onto the couch. You’re in full blown panic mode. 

Within thirty minutes you’ve already fully played out scenario in your head where you quit your job and leave the city, move back in with your parents like a loser and remain single for the rest of your life. And it sucks, but honestly, it sounds better than actually dealing with this. 

If you stay, and let everything play out, you’ll have to see Josh. You’ll have to talk to him, interview him, all while acting as professional as possible so no one figures out that you have history. Now that, that seems just about impossible. 

In a haze you grab for your phone, searching for a specific contact you haven’t used in a while.

“Y/N, nice to hear from you! It’s been a while!” He says, but there’s a note of nervousness to his voice. 

“Seth.” You scold him. 

“I’m assuming you found out about Montreal’s recent acquisition?” 

“Yup, sure did.” You say sarcastically. “Twenty nine other teams that he could have gone to, Seth. Why here?”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” He says, “Ninety three to seven, the odds were in your favor, but apparently you’re just really unlucky.” 

“Super fucking unlucky.” You whisper, and you can hear Seth sigh on the other end of the phone. “Well, know of any other teams that are looking for media op managers? Columbus would be great,” You ramble, “There’s a really small chance he’ll come back, right?”

“Y/N, come on.” Seth says, “Last time I heard from you, you were loving it over there.”

“Yeah,” You admit, “I do, I love it here, but that’s all gonna change now.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Seth says. “You said you guys ended things on okay terms, if there’s no bad blood it shouldn’t be weird?” 

“Okay terms is not good terms. He told me he’d wait for me to figure my shit out, and then I basically pushed him out the door.” You explain, “We haven’t spoken since then, there’s no way that this isn’t gonna end terribly.”

“You can both learn to be civil and professional,” Seth tries, “You shouldn’t have to give up your job because of this.”

“Yeah, well...” You sigh, shutting your eyes tight. When you open them again you’re kind of hoping you’ll be anywhere but where you actually are, with any other reality, but you’re just stuck. “I don’t really see another way this can go.” 

“Don’t say that,” Seth whispers, “Promise me you’ll at least try. Try to make things work, don’t just give up before you’ve even tested the waters. This might end up being not even half as bad as you think it will be.” 

When you don’t respond, Seth continues, “You love your job, you love the city, you have friends... You’ve built a life for yourself there and you can’t give that up over this.”

If it weren’t for those things you would have quit the second you heard Josh’s name, but Seth is right... You’ve worked for everything you have here. You owe it to yourself to at least try to make things work here before you give it all up. 

You rub your temples with a deep groan, a dreadful feeling that you’re gonna regret this sinking in. But you sigh and agree anyway, “Okay. I’ll try.” 

“Yes!” Seth says, “You got this.” 

“Does he know?” You ask quietly. “Where I am? What I do?”

“No,” Seth answers, “I can tell him... If you want me to.” 

“No that’s okay-,” You decide, “He should probably hear it from me. Thanks, Seth.” 

“You’re welcome,” He answers, and you can’t help but smile a little. He was probably the one thing you actually missed from Columbus. “Will you call me in a few days? Let me know how things are going?”

“Yeah, of course.” You answer, “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

He confirms, and then says a short goodbye. 

You hang up the phone, and then head straight for your wine fridge. There’s a fancy bottle of white wine that you were saving for a special occasion, and while it’s not the type of celebration you were thinking, it definitely is an occasion. You pour yourself a tall glass, grab a chocolate bar, and head to the couch to start overthinking. 

Then you decide within the first ten minutes that thinking is going to do you no good, so you turn on the TV and grab another glass of wine, praying the alcohol will knock you out, because without it, there’s no way your brain will shut off. 

After the third glass and your sixth episode of Schitt’s creek, you finally start to feel tired. Instead of going upstairs and going to bed, you just flop over on the couch, pulling a blanket over your body before closing your eyes, avoiding all the thoughts bumping around in your head. 

They’ll still be there tomorrow you tell yourself, and then you’re out. 

••••••••••

friday

You’re basically tiptoeing around the arena, sneaking players here and there to get their headshots, all while trying your best to avoid him. 

Your plan is working quite well, you’ve manage to go over half the day without a run in. You’ve just finished with Shea, and you only have a few guys left, so you go for another stroll around the main concourse, looking for Brendan so you can get his goal animations done. You’re turning your head side to side, looking out for a short guy when you hear a familiar voice. 

It’s been two years but you’d recognize it anywhere. 

You freeze for a short moment before you’re all but throwing yourself into the room closest to you, which true to your luck, happens to be the men's bathroom. You twist the deadbolt behind you, staring at the door in pure horror. 

It wiggles against the hinges, and then you hear him, “This one’s locked, man.” 

You wait a good five minutes before you finally tiptoe out of the restroom, sneaking back to your office on extreme lookout. You sigh with relief when you’re in the constraints of your office. You’re finally safe now. 

“Y/N,” Reid announces, opening your office door as usual, without knocking.

You give him a small smile, “Hey, Reid, what can I do for you?”

“I found the new guys for you,” He grins, and the smile drops from your face almost immediately. “They’re ready for their close up!”

You kind of feel like there’s a camera that you can look into like you’re on the office or something, because wow, what stupidly perfect timing. 

Normally you’d have the mind to fake a laugh at his dumb joke, but you just shake your head in panic, standing from your chair as you flail your arms. “No-,” You start to say, but it’s too late. 

“C’mon in guys,” Reid moves further into your office to clear the door way and you swear you could literally throw up on the spot right now. 

“Reid- I asked Ted to do their media stuff-,” You try, but it’s too late. 

They walk in, and you slap a hand over your mouth to keep from swearing loudly in front of your boss. That doesn’t stop Josh though, you can’t even look up at him, but all that comes out of his mouth is, “Holy shit.”

You nod your head, your hand slides up from your mouth to the side of your face to act as a shield, while you give Reid your fakest smile. 

He furrows his brows at you, “Everything okay, Y/N?” 

“Yeah, yeah...” You murmur, and you finally drop the awkward hand, crossing your arms with a huff. Your eyes stay trained on Reid, “I just um, I had asked Ted if he would do their media shots and he said he’d take care of it.” You explain, and your boss makes a face at you. 

“Oh how come? Are you not feeling well?” He gives you an out before you can even think of one, and you jump on it immediately, nodding your head quickly. 

“Yeah, just like splitting head ache,” You say, “Nausea, it’s gross. I don’t know what’s going on.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asks, and you feel terrible because you know he genuinely feels bad, Reid is one of the nicest guys out there. “You can go home, you don’t need to stick around.” He tells you, and you give him an appreciative smile, refusing to even let your eyes wander to the right. 

“That’s great, Reid. Thank you, I really appreciate it,” You’re about to drop, grab your bag and run out the room like the coward you are, but Reid motions to the boys and the overwhelming urge to throw up is stronger than ever. 

“I’ll just introduce you, and then I’ll send them over to Ted, you can get going.” He suggests, and you nod, sucking in a deep breath. “You’re looking quite pale actually.” Reid notes, “Poor thing,”

“Anyway,” He starts, and you force yourself to turn your body to the side, but you still can’t find the courage to look up at him. “This is Y/N, our head of media operations. She deals with all the social media, the interviews and that kind of thing. She’s great, she’s a huge part of our organization.” You give him a short smile in response, thanking him with a light tap on the arm. “Y/N, this is Joel and Josh, they’re gonna be great additions to the team.” 

“Joel, and Josh...” You respond quietly, extending a hand to Joel first, forcing yourself to make eye contact. “Nice to meet you,” You say, and then you move to Josh, holding out your hand to him too, repeating your earlier words firmly. “Nice to meet you,” 

It’s like your body goes cold when you look at him, he hasn’t changed one bit. He looks kind of confused, but accepts your handshake anyway, nodding with an unsure stare. He doesn’t make any move to let go, so you do it for him, pulling your hand from his grasp in a hurry while you grab your bag from behind you. 

“Sorry, Reid. Thanks again, I’ll be in tomorrow.” You tell him, and then you give Josh one last look, before heading straight out of your office. 

Reid looks a little bemused, but watches you leave anyways. You’re basically speed walking out of the arena, trying your hardest to make it to the parking garage in record time, because you actually feel like the air in the massive building is getting thinner. 

“You forgot this.” 

And just like that your heart rate spikes back up. When you don’t turn, or acknowledge him, he whispers your name and there’s a second where memories come flooding back. 

Your body is nearly frozen, you don’t think you could move right now if you wanted to. Josh comes to stand in front of you, and for the first time you’re forced to look at him. Really look at him. 

It’s been two years but you’d still know that expression anywhere. He’s hurt. 

“You work here.” He says, almost like he’s trying to convince himself. 

You bite your lips sheepishly, and you can feel your resolve starting to crumble. You can’t pretend you’re not completely overwhelmed anymore. 

“Were you ever gonna tell me?”

You find the strength to nod your head, but then a second later you’re shaking it to indicate that no, you weren’t. You hadn’t decided what you were gonna do yet, you knew he was gonna find out at some point, but you also knew deep down you were never gonna be strong enough to outright introduce yourself to him this way. You were just hoping when he did find out it wouldn’t be that bad... But here you are. “I was kinda hoping I could just avoid you.” You say honestly. 

He looks tense, like he’s holding back words. When he speaks he’s quiet, and you almost miss the way he scoffs quietly at your response. “Avoid me... Are we really that-,” He stops, leaving the sentence open, because he doesn’t know what word comes next. Neither do you, but you understand. 

You just look at each other for a moment, and it’s now that your emotions finally get the better of you. Tears well up in your eyes, and you just shrug at him, because you have no idea what to do. 

“I love this job,” You say weakly, “And I love living here, but-,”

Josh shakes his head and you stop, waiting for his interjection. “But nothing.” He starts, and then he’s moving one step closer to you, and him simply subtracting another inch shouldn’t affect you as much as it does. You feel your knees start to shake, the tears getting a little bit harder to ignore. 

“This doesn’t need to be weird.” He says quietly, “I don’t want it to be-,” Once again the words are left unsaid but you nod anyway, understanding. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

You nod quickly, meeting his eyes. You can’t tell if the feeling is warm or cold, but it spreads through your body like wildfire within seconds. You wonder if he feels it too, if there’s anything still here after so long. He drops your gaze and holds your jacket out for you, you take it and then offer him a small smile, “Bye, Y/N.”

And then he walks away.

••••••••••

3 weeks later

“Habs reverse retro, um absolutely, I love these jerseys I think they’re really really cool, so I’m gonna swipe right on these.” Josh says, toying with the tiny phone in his big hands. 

You step in with a chuckle, waving a hand at Ted so he cuts the video. “Alright, you’re done! Perfect,” You say with a laugh, and Josh finally looks up from the phone. You share a glance with your videographer, both of you exchanging a knowing grin. 

“What?” Josh says, and you shake your head with a smirk. 

“Nothing,” You murmur. And Ted starts to laugh. 

“The camera loves you,” He says to Josh, “Almost as much as you love it,” 

He raises his eyebrows at you, “Was I not good?” The corners of his mouth turn up slightly and you just shake your head, trying to hide your wide grin. 

“No, no,” You stop him, and he looks at you skeptically. Finally you shrug and say, “Just maybe next time we do one of these you could like, I don’t know look up at the camera a time or two?” 

Josh starts to laugh, and he shakes his head, looking down bashfully at his feet. “This is not my thing, you know that.” 

And just like that, that stupid feeling is back. Out from the center of your chest all the way to your finger tips. It’s dull this time, but it’s there. You freeze, you’re really hoping Ted didn’t catch on, because you shouldn't know that. 

You change the subject before anything can come of it, and thank god Ted carries on as normal. He didn’t seem to notice, he just flips through his camera bag as usual, murmuring about Shea’s video being even worse. 

You’re not gonna give this anymore time to boil though, so you turn to the culprit, “You’re uh, you’re good to go, thanks Josh.” You say, scratching at the back of your neck. 

He just nods, looking worried at first, but and then half smiles before heading out the door. Once he’s out of ear shot you sigh, grabbing your bag off the chair. 

“Time for a lunch break, Ted?” Cause, wow do you ever feel like you need one. “We’ll film Brendan after?”

“Sounds good,” Ted smiles. 

You nod and then head for the hallway, making sure to go the opposite way Josh did. If you have to walk the whole concourse so be it. 

You shouldn’t be so skittish, you know that... But things have been good the last three weeks. You’ve managed to talk without it being horribly awkward, and no one has found out about your history yet. However, you’re not going to take any chances. The longer you’re in the same room with him, the more likely someone is to slip up, like Josh almost just did. You don’t need to spend a bunch of time with him, just enough time to get your job done. So that’s what you’ve been doing, the bare minimum. Talking only if you absolutely need to. 

The habs were having a great start to the season, not to mention Josh was a huge part of that. He was having the best start of his career, and you weren’t going to ruin it. 

You take a seat at one of the tables in the common area, pulling your book and salad out of your bag with a huff. You would really rather a burger and fries, or something not made up of 90% water, but it was in the fridge and it was easy so you grabbed it. 

You stab the fork into the lettuce, pulling it up one time before you just shake your head and leave it in the container, prodding around at it while your stomach grumbles. 

You look up from your book when your name is called, Joel and of course, Josh are sitting down at a table across from you, an obscene amount of boxed food in their hands. 

Your heart is thumping rapidly in your chest, and you try your best to talk through it, raising your hand in a wave, “Hi, guys.” 

“What’s going on?” Joel asks, “Hungry?”

“No but you sure look it,” You lie, nodding to the boxes they’re holding. 

Joel smiles giddily as they start to open them up, you just grin and then go back to poking at your salad, trying not to pay attention to how good their food smells. You try to distract yourself with your book, but yet again, that doesn’t last long. 

“Hey,” You look up, eyes meeting a complete stranger this time. “I was just wondering if you could tell me where the opposing team locker room is?” 

“Oh, yeah!” You say, standing from your chair to direct him down the hallway. “You’re a player?” You clarify, just to be sure, and he nods. “It’s just down the hall and to the left. Past the equipment room.” 

“Okay...” He says, and you stare oddly as he looks down at his feet and then back up at you. “Thanks,”

He has longer blonde hair, what these stupid boys would probably call a flow, and a long one at that, but he pulls it off. He’s got a nice face with a trimmed beard, and you can tell just from one look at him, swedish. 

He stares at you for a moment and then chuckles uncomfortably, “I’m sorry, worst conversation starter ever.”

Your stomach knots when he says that, and you want to believe that the reason for it has nothing to do with that fact that Josh is sitting right there, watching all of this. You just smile awkwardly, “It wasn’t terrible? More the follow up that could use some work...” You joke. 

“I just saw you sitting here and I thought you were really beautiful, I’m William. I play for the Oilers.”

Your heart is pounding in your ears, and although this guy is really sweet all you can think about is Josh sitting right there and hearing all this, but you try your best to smile anyway, not wanting to be rude. “That’s really sweet of you, thank you.” Maybe at a different time you’d give this guy a chance, because he seems quite nice. You briefly remember seeing a name on the Oilers roster for tonight, William Lagesson.

He’s about to open his mouth again, when a whistle from behind the both of you catches your attention, you turn to see a red head with a toothy grin. “Leave that poor girl alone, Laggy.” The red head snips, and William runs a hand through his hair nervously. 

You laugh, trying to make him feel better, and he chuckles with a shake of his head, mumbling an apology for his teammate. “Can I maybe just get your number?” He asks, and you try not to look as surprised as you really are. 

It’s been ages since someone asked you for your number, and apparently it’s been a long time since you said no too, because you completely forget how.  

Your overwhelming urge to be nice all the time fails you here, and you find yourself saying yes even though you really don’t want to. He’s sweet and all but, you’d rather not do the hockey player thing again. 

At the last minute you finally have the mind to put a fake number in, and you feel bad momentarily as he smiles and says bye, but as soon as you see the empty spot at Joel’s table, you just feel panicked instead.

Josh is gone... Does that mean he didn’t hear?

You pack up your things and then stop beside Joel, he side eyes you and then makes a face and you just frown. 

“Coach texted Josh, so he wasn’t lucky enough to hear that whole thing... Me on the other hand?” He takes an obnoxious bite of his food as he shoots you a wink, and all you can do is roll your eyes, and walk away. “That was hilarious!” Joel calls behind you, and you just wave him off, but really, there’s some relief setting in when you find out that Josh missed that last part. 

When you arrive back at your office, there’s a note from your boss, and a box on your desk. 

“Head home early today. Boys will be preparing for the game. We can finish up on Monday. -Reid” Is written in his chicken scratch on a bright pink sticky note. 

You do a happy little wiggle, and then reach for the box. It smells amazing, and your stomach grumbles at the thought, but then when you open it and realize what it is, you’ve suddenly lost your appetite. 

It’s pad thai and spicy yam chicken... Your favorite. 

You know instantly this isn’t from Reid... There’s probably only one person in the world who knows what your order is. You used to go to that thai place by his house all the time, and you’d always order the same thing. 

You don’t even put your bag down, you just leave the food on your desk and turn the light off before walking out. 

You try your best not to think about everything that happened today on your way home, because it felt like a huge step back after three weeks of progress. 

You stop for some groceries, and take a look in a little boutique, anything to keep your mind busy. When you arrive home you play music almost as loud as it can go, hoping it will drown out your thoughts. Over the last three weeks you’ve done enough thinking about this, you’re tired. 

So you workout, shower, make some dinner, and then you sit down to watch the game, pinching yourself every time you find your eyes lingering on number seventeen a little too long. 

The game is pretty slow, the boys aren’t playing their best, Edmonton is on their game and you just know they’re not gonna come out of this one with the two points, but you watch anyway. You kind of want to turn it off and switch to something else after the second period, but you give in and stick around for the third. 

All is fine and normal until the five minute mark ticks down on the clock. 

The camera spans to the right to follow the players going up the ice, when you hear the commentator say, “Big battle, in front of the net...”

And your heart just about stops, because you have a feeling you know exactly who it is. Guess Joel was wrong... He did hear the whole thing. 

“Anderson, and Lagesson, they’re still tied up together. Anderson is hot.”

[salami2]

← Chapter 1 →

They Call It Teyvat…

⇥ fem!reader x genshin men ⇤

(n) a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.

Synopsis: It felt like a dream when you first arrived to this odd land. No clue on how you got there- let alone leave. Soon enough, you met Paimon and started the journey of finding all the archons of Teyvat. Along the way, you catch the eyes of numerous men… to your demise.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warning(s): Nothing really! Mentions of Venti, Dvalin, dresses, etc.

A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE! I’m sorry, I closed the requests just so I could work on this crap. Anyways this is just pt. 1 to many chapters. Enjoy!! Really though, enjoy!

“Hey… I need you to wake up now. I know it might be hard…”

A thousand voices rang through your mind, getting lost in a sea of voices. The one that called out was different then the rest. Calmer, quieter… more desperate.

“Wake up. Wake up. Wake-“

Your mind jolted awake, sweat growing on your forehead and body. What a horrible feeling of waking up to a nightmare, you thought. The voices were still ringing around your mind.

The feel of spikes underneath your fingertips convinced you that this cushioning was not your bed. You came up from the grassy ground, dirt dug deep into your nails.

“I must’ve thought I was clutching my bed sheets..” You thought while scraping away the grim.

But you were right. This in fact was not your bed- nor your bedroom. No. In fact, this was a grassy area in a not too familiar scenery.

It was lushious. Like a calm summer's day. Dew drops on the bright green grass made it almost sparkle in the daylight. And the smell of rain could be smelled. Fresh in the air.

Oh, this was most definitely not your home…

Goodness what were you doing here? Your mind tried to trail back to what you could remember. And you could only think of bits and pieces.

You remembered pitch black; owls howling in the nearby trees. Remembering that you cried asleep.

“Thinking back isn’t going to help me, wherever the hell I am…”

You thought. Inside, you were panicking. This was not your home. It was strange, nothing looked familiar to you. And yet it felt familiar.

This place, this time. It feels too nostalgic for you to say it’s new. To say it’s unfamiliar.

“Oh, my god it looks like I’m stuck in a.. fantasy novel! This scenery is gorgeous.”

It suddenly occurred that you were on a cliff side. You carefully trudged over to the end of the cliff, looking over to see the view. What you could see amazed you..

There were walls. They stood so tall and grand. Peaking over those walls was something to be expected.

It was a city, from the looks of it. Hiding away behind those walls. With even bigger towers and buildings. With windmills! And massive buildings in the back. Maybe they were the important ones.

Wait, what were you doing just standing here like a fool??

There’s civilization out there! And all you could do was gawk like a fish? You embarrassed yourself. Still- that place looked nothing like you’ve ever seen before.

Your first thought was somewhere in Europe. The scenery seemed that way. And from first glance, Germany? Yes. The structures would explain it all!

“heeeeeyy!”

A faint sound ringed from the distance. Coming from the bottom of the cliff. From what you could make out, it was almost like a child.

Children? No, it can’t be. The voice was quite childish, but it couldn’t be. And where they calling out to you?

Suddenly the voice started to grow; louder and louder. Until you could see the face behind the voice.

Whatever it was was tired, screaming, and flying right into you.

Wait-

You fell back with the force from the flying child. The thing fell into your arms, swirls in its eyes and a red bump on its forehead.

It didn’t take long for the thing to wake up, though. Immediately flying up to your confused expression.

“S/O! There you are! Paimon’s been trying to find you everywhere, and this is where you’ve been hiding!?”

It’s face came inches away from your own, huffing in frustration. So far all you could get was that this thing was named Paimon. And it was angry, for some reason.

“I-I’m sorry, Paimon,” you managed to get out, “I just wanted to see the scenery. Y’know?”

She huffed. “And you better be! Now c’mon, I brought you a simple dress for you to wear. Be grateful Paimon is such an amazing companion.”

The flying girl looked proud of herself. Thinking it was stupid of her to be proud of a pointless feat. But then again, she was quite small and frail. You’ll let this slide.

She was right about one thing: you needed to change.

Peering down to your legs, you noticed the attire you were sporting right now. A… hospital gown, from the looks of it.

The fine dress she had picked out for you was decent. Basic and brown with a leather belt. Perfect for being unnoticed. Along with a satchel with simple embroidery. You felt a little worried as to where Paimon might have gotten this from…

“Thanks, Paimon. Uh- should I change here, or?” You asked. She puffed out her cheeks in frustration.

“NO! Are you a savage or something!? Here, Paimon will take you to somewhere remote and then we can go to that city over there. Uhhh, what was it called? Oh yeah, it’s called-“

“Mondstadt. It’s called Mondstadt…”

Rigid bark against your palm went smoothly along the trunk of the tree.

You and your lovely companion, Paimon, had found a spectacle that was still unfamiliar and new. An old statue resting underneath a grand, oak tree: just sitting there while the world went by.

Standing underneath it alone made you feel intimidated. Wondering how the hell a tree could get so big.

“Wow… damn, I wonder how old this girl is..” you said to yourself. “Hey, Paimon? Can you tell me where we are again?”

“Uhhh, Paimon doesn’t know the name. Oh! But Paimon remembers they call this continent Teyvat! That’s about it, though.”

You hummed to yourself.

“Teyvat… wait, a continent? Then that means there’s countries inside of this place. Or whatever this world follows.”

Before you and Paimon left, you had mentioned Mondstadt before she could. Funny- you had never known of that city before and yet the word seemed to fly out of your mouth.

Paimon floated up near your shoulder, looking panicked and scared.

“S/O! I saw something weird in the sky!” She exclaimed, taking a small hand and pointing up towards the clear, blue sky.

You stepped away from the tree to see what she was rambling about.

It was like an instant did the flying green object go by. Leaving you and your floating companion speechless.

“AHHHH- DID YOU SEE THAT!?” Paimon exclaimed while tugging on your sleeve.

You couldn’t help thinking to yourself. “Huh. You don’t see that everyday-“ still in awe at what just happened. “C’mon Paimon! We have to follow whatever that thing is!”

She gasped dramatically. “Follow!? Did you SEE how scary that thing was??”

You rolled your eyes as you stepped up the pace and started jogging. “Paimon, if it is what I think it is; that thing that was in the sky might just be a dragon!”

“AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT ANY BETTER!?”

While she groaned in detestment, Paimon quickly trailed behind you. You- being determined to find that dragon- kept running towards the direction it was going.

It took a while, but you stopped in the middle of a thick forest. Hearing grunts of an animal getting louder and louder as you peaked from a nearby tree.

What you saw shocked you; to say the least.

A boy, arms reaching forward near the snout of the dragon. Smoke coming out of its nostrils.

“… Don’t be afraid.” He said, trying to calm the beast.

“… It’s alright now. I’m back.”

You felt something happening crawling on your skin, arms. It was odd. Looking away and at your arms, you finally saw. Eyes widening.

Turquoise veins appeared- running down your arms. Glowing for what seemed like a split second. Soon it stopped. Your veins, disappearing.

The dragon roared. It echoed across the entire forestry. The young boy's arms went to cover himself as the dragon tried to attack.

“Who’s there!?” He called out. The dragon, now enraged, spread its coloured wings and flew off to who knows where. While the boy vanished with a bright light.

The same bright light that you encountered…

“Oh, my god… what the fuck was that?” You were too staggered to mind tongue. Looking back at your arms.

“A-are you ok? Your arms…” Paimon said under her breath.

Ok? Ok wasn’t the word. You were… lost, scared, thunderstruck, worried, anxious, terrified to your wits ends.

But all you said was-

“I remember.”

“So wait, Paimon is confused-“

The day still burned brightly as you walked down yet another gravel path.

“Confused about what? I remember. I remember being in a… hospital. Yeah- a hospital. Also, there were people surrounding me and I just… passed out.”

Your face while rembersing showed Paimon enough to know what you were gonna do.

“Paimon… I have to get back,” you said, “I- I remember, there’s something I need to do!”

The flying toddler was confused and hazy. Get back? Another world?? She didn’t know how to respond to what you were saying at all.

“Uhh- well, if you need to get back home, Paimon might know a way…”

“Really?? What do you got?” You persisted.

“Well, all over Teyvat they mention these deities called the seven archons…”

“Deities…” you mumbled under your breath, thinking out loud.

“A-and they created all the elements of the visions you see today. So, if anybody can get you home, maybe they can…?”

Suddenly, your hands flew to Paimon’s shoulders. A shining beam plastered across your face. Oh yeah, Paimon was scared.

“I’m in a new world full of magic and mystery, trying to find seven gods that might take me months, years, or even DECADES to find… LET’S DO THIS, PAIMON!”

You scurried away. Seemingly towards the massive towers you could see in the distance. Paimon gasped, catching up to you.

“A-are you crazy!? No way you could ever do that! Paimon could never dream of such a… ridiculous thing!!”

Alas, you could not hear her over the feeling of pure excitement and adventure in your eyes. This is just like in the books! Where there’s magic and powers and hidden romance- everything you loved to read!

“Too late! C’mon, let’s get to Mondstat quickly so we can find the first god!”

You ran off ahead. Leaving an annoyed Paimon to trail after you.

Oh yeah, this was most definitely gonna be a journey to remember…

@salami2

[halcyonstorm]

The Girl at the Library Chapter 1

Short Fic - Levihan

Themes: College AU, Library, Fluff, Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Female Hange Zoe, Student!Levi

Word Count: 5730

Chapter: 1/3

Warning: Mild Language

Read on Ao3 - The Girl at the Library

Summary: Levi is a college student who needs help on his research paper. Luckily, Hange is a book worm and works at the library. 

Levi was stressed and annoyed, mainly because he was in college. Of course with college comes infinite amounts of homework assignments, 100-question exams with astronomical amounts of topics on them, unnecessary research papers, and staying in a dorm room with a kid that happens to have no problem inviting his friends over every night to hang out and party with no regards to his sullen roommate.

Levi had a paper coming up. He had to come up with a topic, find sources, and finish his paper by the end of the semester. With three weeks left to go, he decided he’d rather get it over with. He began his brainstorming in the study lounge at the center of his dormitory floor. He was starting to stress. He sat on the big yellow leather couch in the way-too-bright study lounge with his laptop in his lap. He tapped his pen against his head as he tried to think of an idea. 

“You have to write about a topic related to your major,” The professor explained. “This is the one and only paper you will have assigned this semester. I suggest you get it done as early as possible.”

If only it were that easy. He had the rubric pulled up in one tab, and a ton of “How to pick a research topic” websites in others. His major was pharmaceuticals, a field he was inspired to take on because of his mother. She was very ill when he was very young, so they were in and out of hospitals. He was sitting on the edge of his mother’s hospital bed when a nurse came in the room to administer her medications. 

“This is…” His memory was blurry. “This medication will help… and make you feel better.” And it did. 9 year old Levi was fascinated. This one little pill or bag of what looked like water helped his mother feel better. Within hours, his mother’s skin went from pallor to beige. Her hands were warmer. She looked more awake, more alive. She didn’t wince at Levi’s touch. She was in less pain. She got better, like the nurse predicted.

Since then, Levi always asked questions whenever they visited the hospitals again and again. “What kind of drug is that?” “What does it do?” “How long does it take to take effect?”

Levi recalled the memory with a deep sigh. He missed his mother. She was at home, not too far away. Levi never had the time to travel the hour through the big city to visit her. When he did have free time, he spent it studying or sleeping. He felt his heart twinge at this. She had sacrificed everything to help him attend college and to give him a good life.

Now with his head cloudy, he went to reach his water bottle in his backpack. He opened the lid and took a sip. At that moment, he could hear some obnoxiously loud students throwing tennis balls back and forth to each other. He recognized these kids too, they were some (of many) of the lovely visitors his roommate had over most nights. Suddenly in the blink of an eye, Levi’s water bottle spilled all over his laptop, a tennis ball on the floor next to him, and some worried voices approaching him. Within seconds, the laptop started to steam and the screen went black.

His laptop was fried, he determined. He felt heat start to rise inside of him. 

“Oh my god, man. I am so sorry,” One of the kids said, trying to hold back a laugh. 

“Yeah, man. We didn’t mean to.”

Levi took a deep breath and stood up. These kids… were gonna pay.

He closed his broken laptop and stood up. These kids were much taller than him, but looked to be easily intimidated by Levi’s presence. 

“Do you have the money to pay for this?” He sneered, getting very close to their faces. 

“Eh… no, but we have jobs! We can pay you back over time,” One of the kids trailed off. They seemed to be intimidated by the short man. “You live in 112 right?”

Levi nodded, his face heating up with anger. “This laptop cost me a lot of money.”

“We get it, man! We said we’re sorry,” the other kid explained. “We’ll pay you back or whatever.”

“Tch,” Levi clicked. He was extremely pissed. These kids should not be throwing balls at each other in the hallway. Also, they spilled his water which made a mess. “Which room are you both in?” They responded with 118. The one kid explained they get paid on the 15th and 30th of each month. Luckily, their pay day was 4 days away.

“I’ll stop by Tuesday, the 16th,” Levi decided, before gathering his things and heading to the stairs. He began to walk through the campus. Fuck, now where was he gonna go? How was he gonna find his topics? His computer was fucked. Putting it in rice wouldn’t have helped. He was so occupied having a debate with himself about where to research, he almost missed it. If he looked the other way or even blinked in that moment, he wouldn’t have seen it. It was the campus library. No, not the campus library, but a campus library. It blended into the surroundings, hidden from the passerbyers. There was a sign in the window “We’re Open!”. 

The library was small, to say the least. It was old fashioned, which contrasted the modern aesthetic of the university. It was a small, dark brown, wooden building with four-pane windows. The door was a lighter shade of brown. He decided it was easier to check out this little library instead of walking another 10 minutes to get to the main library. He didn’t have time to waste. He had to get started with his paper right away. He walked up to the door and opened it. When he did, a little bell rang at the doorway. 

“Just a minute!” A woman’s voice called from the back. Levi decided to wander around. There were many books crammed on the shelves. There were two computers on each side when he walked in. They looked out of place, considering they were very modern compared to the architecture of the library itself. The books were all shades of bright, vibrant colors. It was strange. From the outside, it seemed creepy and gloomy. Once he walked in, it was very cozy. The dark walls of the library contrasted the beautiful colors of the books.

Then, he saw the woman come out. She came up to the desk. He expected an elderly lady with her glasses on a chain, but he assumed this woman was a student. She was a young woman who wore thin oval glasses and her brown hair thrown up in a messy half-up-half-down ponytail. 

“Hi!” The woman said. “How can I help you?”

“I want to use a computer, please,” He announced. He glanced at her nametag which hung like a necklace around her neck. “Hange” was the name on the tag. It was strange and unordinary, but it had a nice ring to it. The name seemed to suit her.

“Sure! You are allowed up to two hours a day,” Hange explains. “You can choose whichever computer you’d like.”

The computers were unoccupied. In fact, the entire library seemed vacant except for him and the employee. 

“Does anyone actually come here?” Levi asked, setting his stuff down next to a desk, and looking her way. She looked like someone who would work at a library. 

The brunette chuckled. “You are my third visitor today!” She exclaimed proudly. It was already about 3pm. He remembered the sign in the front says “12pm-6pm weekdays”. 

Levi chuckled silently, air huffed out his nose. “How do you stay in business?”

“Well, the university thinks it’s good to have a small library in the outskirts of the campus so students have access to books and computers because the main campus library is in the center of the plaza. Sometimes we get about ten people a day, and sometimes they don’t even take anything out. Sometimes I wonder how…” She began to ramble now. She definitely has not had anyone else visit her today.

She was starting to get on his nerves. It’s been 20 minutes since he arrived, and she was still talking. He zoned out until she caught his attention.

“Hey,” She said. “What’s your name? I have to track whoever comes in to use the computers.” 

Why? No one else comes in. He noticed her clipboard with the sign-ins was blank.

“Levi Ackerman,” He announced. She scribbled his name down. “Okay, it’s 3:30 now, so you have till 5:30 if needed.” She pointed to the clock with her pen as she explained. He nodded and proceeded to walk towards the table with the computer he claimed. He sat down and began working.

-

He was an hour into his research when he finally threw his hands up in the air in frustration. He still couldn’t think of a topic. He groaned aloud.

Hange was leaning against the main desk, her nose stuck in a book. “How Trees Communicate” was the title. When she heard the young man groan, she looked up. 

“Is everything okay?” She asked, peering over her book at him.

“Yeah, yeah,” He mumbled. “Fine…”

Hange raised an eyebrow. She placed her bookmark at her spot, then strolled around the desk and walked over to him.

“What are you working on?” She asked, sitting in the seat next to him and put her hands on her knees, looking at him curiously. He scoffs. It was none of her business, he thought to himself. And it’s an invasion of privacy.

He was frustrated and desperate. Hoping for a miracle, he managed to tell her anyways.

 “I need a topic for my paper and I can’t think of any…” Levi began. “It needs to be based on pharmaceuticals, my major. It also needs scientific evidence to back up my research…”

She was fully absorbed in what he had to say. She was bored, so helping Levi would’ve been something to do at least. Besides, Levi was in luck. She was an avid reader, always reading about anything and everything. She was studying plants and botanicals, but she found herself frequently taking out books about cooking; religion; war; animals; and medical topics including surgery, pathophysiology, anatomy, and pharmaceuticals.

“What about how diuretics affect blood pressure?” Hange suggested. Levi was taken aback. His eyebrows furrowed, and he shook his head in confusion. “Or if anti-alzheimer drugs actually help slow the progression of Alzheimer’s? Why do you take different medications during certain stages of Alzheimer’s disease? Or how do anti-seizure medications work? That is something I ask myself all the time. You take this little pill and BOOM! You’ll be fine, no seizure! Oh, oh, oh! Or, how certain medications cause certain adverse effects? How come so many medications cause anxiety?” Her eyes started to light up as she talked. They were a dark brown, but when she started to talk, they seemed to morph to a captivating hazel. He felt he could see every color in her eyes. He saw brown and green and the little lines of her iris. Hange’s hands would move as she talked, and her smile grew wide. She couldn’t keep still. She was getting excited by coming up with all these ideas. She seemed so passionate and so willing to help; he was overwhelmed by her.

Levi was in shock. His day started off horrible. Now, he was almost glad his laptop was fucked. This woman was making his mind race with ideas. 

“Are you okay?” Hange asked for the second time within his visit there. Levi nodded slowly. “I am just… How do you know all that? Are you a med student?”

Hange chuckled and waved her hand at him. “No… I am a bookworm! Also, my mom is a nurse, so she used to teach me about nursing stuff all the time. Oh! You could write about the pathophysiology of anticholinergics! Or beta blockers! Or how the body reacts to the use of long-term steroids?”

Levi took a deep breath. He felt euphoric. He had been casually trying to think of topics since last week. All of a sudden, this woman can just ramble off hundreds of ideas? Levi smiled visibly.

“Actually… I really like the final topic you suggested. About steroids.” Levi admitted.

Hange smiled back at him. “Great! I can try to help you find some sources or books.” She directed him to open a new tab and to go to a certain database. “This is where you can find reliable sources. Over here,” She pointed to his screen at the left side. “You can add filters. You can change how old or new you’d like the sources to be, filter out certain words or phrases, et cetera.” She had been closer to him now; she scooted her chair closer so she could explain the database to him. It was hard not to look at her as she explained. She was captivating.

Levi began to type in words for his topic.

“Steroids”, “Long-term use”, “Cushing’s Disease”, “Addison’s Disease”, “Addisonian Crisis”, “Pathophysiology”.

He felt like he was finally getting somewhere. He was finally making progress.

-

As Levi was walking home, he couldn’t get his mind off that girl. He decided to brainstorm about his topic in his room once he got there. The thing was, though, he couldn’t think of any more ideas. He found it funny. Of course he was full of ideas and inspiration when he visited that library, but now he’s void of any.

-

Levi’s weekends were no different than the weekdays. He made it appoint to visit the library again the next day, Saturday. It was a sunny, cool Saturday morning. Levi had inspiration to write. He needed a computer and Hange’s ideas. When he arrived, it seemed busy. There were three other patrons at the library.  He recognized Hange right away, helping a tall blonde man with a big nose. He wondered if she was the only employee there. The man she was helping was taller than her, so she had to reach up on her toes to point to items. She was an average height, but this action made her seem shorter than she actually was.

Hange looked his way and greeted him with a toothy smile. Levi waved at her and started to head down one of the aisles of books. He was in the nonfiction section, but was lost. For now, he just casually browsed the section, but quickly got impatient. He needed Hange’s help to find books for this paper. He heard her laugh with the patron. Maybe he’s a friend, he thought to himself. Her laugh was airy and full of heart. It seemed genuine and passionate. Levi felt an urge to make her laugh, too.

She finally made her way over to him. Levi was looking down at a book when she caught his eye. “Hey, stranger!” She greeted him with a wave. “Whatcha looking for?” She placed her hands on her hips.

“I’m trying to find some sources for my paper. Steroids is the topic,” Levi explained.

“Oh, right. I remember! After you left last night, I tried to look for some books for your topic,” She said. She was trying to help me? Levi thought to himself.

She curled her finger in a “follow me” gesture and he did. She brought him to another aisle or two over from where they were. “These are the 600’s, where you’ll most likely find what you’re looking for. I found a book or two about Addison’s disease, but it’s more of a memoir. You can look around though if you’d like. Anything in the 610’s should be right up your alley.” She explained as if she was going to leave, but she didn’t. Hange looked for books with him. 

After a moment, she made a noise. “Look at this!” She exclaimed. She reached next to him to reach for a book. She was on her toes again. “Mmmm,” She moaned as she tried to reach. “Actually, I’m gonna get the step stool. I don��t think I can reach it.” Quickly, she left and came back with the stool. It looked unreliable, but Levi was sure he’d be able to prevent any accident from occurring. Hange placed it on the ground and stepped up on it, grabbing the book with ease. She stepped down with the book in her hand. This book had a white cover with a blue label and was titled “Coping with Prednisone”. Levi was surprised she even knew what prednisone was. 

“Here!” She reached it out for him to grab. He took it and looked at her face. She had that same look in her eyes. “Did you want to use the computer?” He nodded and she led him towards the front of the library. The library was small from the outside, but very deep inside. It reminded him of a forest. 

“I got your name, don’t worry,” She said, clicking her pen and writing his name down on the sheet. 

“Oops!” Hange made a quick grimace. “I added an ‘e’ at the end. I’ll just cross it out.” The statement sounded like it was addressed to herself rather than to anyone else. She crossed out the extra letter.

“Ackermane”. Levi was gonna attempt to make her laugh.

“If you thought I looked like a horse you could’ve just said so.” 

Mane, horse mane. Get it?

It felt like forever before Hange responded. She looked up at him, starting to laugh. It was a short but audible laugh. Her head nodded back and she smiled. Her cheeks turned pink and her eyes lit up for a moment. It made his heart skip a beat. It was a bad joke yet she still laughed. She chuckled. Giggled? No. Laughed lightly. Chortled? Maybe that’s the right word. Whatever it was, he wanted to do it more, maybe even more than that.

He followed her to the computers. The blonde guy she was helping earlier was on one computer. She led him to the two computers across from the other ones and sat down in the chair next to him.

“What are you doing?” Levi asked, placing the book she found for him on the table.

Her eyebrows raised, and after a moment she reacted. She waved her hands in front of her.

“I’m sorry! I thought you may have needed help. I should get back to work anyway. I gotta go through a new box of books that just came in.”

Levi looked up at her. Is she blushing? he asked himself.

“I’ll let you know if I need help.” Levi responded. She smiled at him before quickly walking away.

-

He started to find some evidence-based practice articles about how steroids can cause long-term side effects, especially if stopped abruptly. He made sure to keep the tabs available. He’d have to cite them later. Levi’s mind was racing with words and sentences and ideas. He had to get them down on paper. He opened Documents on the computer and started typing away.

The clicking of the keyboard soothed him. He was a pretty fast typer, he didn’t make many mistakes either. The library around him began to become quiet as his typing got louder and he got deeper in thought. Before he knew it, his two hours were up. He felt someone approach him from his right.

“Hey,” Hange said, gently tapping the table next to him. “It’s 2pm. I gotta close up.”

Levi snapped out of his focused trance with a quick head shake. “Right. Sorry.” He pulled out a flash drive from his backpack and plugged it into the computer. He transferred his document. “I got the first page done.”

Levi asked himself for a brief moment why he was sharing this information with someone he just met. Maybe since she helped him, he felt she should know.

“That’s great! It seemed like you were really focused,” Hange said, walking away to shut off some lights. Only then did he notice the white noise of the overhead lights quickly dissipate. The room buzzed with silence now. Levi and Hange were alone in the library. Suddenly, Levi felt nervous. He watched Hange walk around the room frantically, making sure to shut off all the lights and computers. She grabbed a bag. The bag was a fabric material with a patchwork design that had a long strap that hung on on her shoulder. Maybe she made it herself. She grabbed her big mess of keys and walked towards him.

“Ready?” She said. He nodded and walked outside, holding the door for her. She thanked him, locking the door behind her. They began to walk down the street slowly. 

“Want to grab lunch?” Hange asked, looking at him. Levi looked back at her. She looked pretty.

“Sure, I can eat.” Hange chuckled at that. He didn’t try, but it made her happy for a brief moment. He seemed nervous but she was too.

They decided to eat at a cute restaurant on campus called “Life in Paradis”. It was a small, dainty place with a green and yellow checkered awning. The building was made of yellow brick, and the door was bright green. There were flower pots outside on the windowsill. Again, this place seemed totally out of place in the modern aesthetic of the university. 

“This place is adorable!” Hange exclaimed. “I love the food here. You’ll love it too. They have all kinds of food here.” Levi felt a smile grow on his face. The way she talked made his heart flutter. She was always so passionate. They entered and got a table for two. This is not a date, Levi kept telling himself. Then why were his cheeks red?

They sat down and looked through a menu. Levi wasn’t extremely hungry even though he hadn’t had anything but tea this morning. He peered over his menu to look at the girl. Her hair was different today, he determined. Today all her hair was in a ponytail, and it was higher on her head. She wore a light yellow button-down with a long, light blue cardigan. Hange caught him staring at her and blushed.

“What would you two like to order?” The waitress asked him first.

“I’m gonna get a sandwich, I think,” He said, crossing his arms across his chest. “Turkey sub.” “I think I’m gonna get a chicken caesar salad,” Hange said. He nodded, grabbed the menus, and walked away.

Hange began to talk about how beautiful the flowers outside the restaurant were. They were all variants of pink, purple, yellow, and red. She described the petals and the leaves, the flowers’ origins, and all the meanings of the flowers. Levi wasn’t annoyed by her tangent this time. He actively listened to this girl talk about what fascinated her so much. He found it soothing. It made him wonder how her brain can contain all the information she was spewing at him. He enjoyed watching the way her eyes lit up when she talked. The beautiful green that blossomed at the bottom of her irises when the light hit her eyes at the right angle. The way her lips curled into a big smile when she talked to him. Her cheeks flush to a light pink when she describes the petals of the flowers or how flowers were used to express feelings when words cannot. It made his heart race. 

“Levi,” Hange said. Her affect was the opposite of earlier when she was rambling. She wore a frown on her face, feeling guilty.“I’ve been rambling… sorry. It’s such a bad habit of mine. I can talk for hours and hours.”

“Don’t apologize, four-eyes,” Levi replied, leaning his elbows and forearms on the table in a crossed position. Hange smiled at him. Levi meant it. She shouldn’t apologize for talking, especially if it’s about something she loves. The food had arrived at the table. They ate. Levi felt the need to open up to her about something. He already learned so much about her, and her presence made him feel like he can open up. 

“I like to run,” Levi said abruptly. Hange looked at him intently, chewing on a forkful of salad. “I don’t do it competitively or anything, but I enjoy running. I try to run once or twice a day.” Hange’s eyebrows raised and she nodded in agreement.

“That’s awesome!” She smiled again at him. “I like to run too. I’m really slow and get tired easily, but I enjoy feeling the wind in my hair and feeling my heart pound.” She took a bite of her meal again. Levi nodded and began to eat too. This sandwich was really good.

-

After talking some more about hobbies and school, they both finished their meal. The waiter brought over the check. Hange reached into her pocket for her wallet.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Levi asked. Hange furrowed her brows.

“I invited you out to lunch. I will pay,” Hange determined, her wallet now in her hands.

“No,” Levi said too quickly. “I will pay. It’s the least I can do. You helped me with my paper after all.”

The bickering lasted a very long minute. Before she got to think of the idea, Levi grabbed the checkbook and shoved his card inside before handing it to the waiter. Hange looked surprised. She sighed, putting her wallet away.

“Thank you, Levi. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

In all honesty, Hange didn’t have much money. She worked at that library four times a week, but the money she made went towards paying off her tuition. She really wanted to treat this man, her new friend. She wasn’t sure if he thought the same way about her. Did he consider her his friend? She felt slightly embarrassed. She did most of the talking and felt like she was annoying him. Maybe he just wanted to pay so she would lay off. 

But the truth is, Levi felt the opposite way of how she was thinking. He was interested to hear more from her. He was addicted to the way his heart raced when he saw her. 

-

Over the next couple of days, Levi would go to that library whenever he was available. He knew it was closed on Sunday, so he went Monday and Tuesday to the library. Fortunately, he got his first batch of money from the brats that fried his computer. He received $100. Of course it was not enough, but it was a start. Wednesday the 17th came around. This specific day was a wild card. The weather was unpredictable. Levi entered the library just in time; it had started to downpour. The little bell rang as he entered the library. To his surprise, Hange was not working that day. There was a boy behind the counter who was tall and had a brown bowl cut hairstyle.  He almost thought about turning around and leaving when he realized she wasn’t there. The rain charged towards the earth viciously, so he decided to seek shelter in the small library. It almost looked like a hurricane. He felt his mood change into a bad one. He didn’t remember to ask how often she worked. 

“Hi there!” The man said. His name tag read “Moblit”. That’s a dumb name.

“I wanna use a computer,” Levi muttered, walking up to the main desk.

“Okay. Name?” Moblit grabbed the clipboard and a pen.

“Levi Ackerman.”

“Oh, I see you’ve been here before. A lot, actually.” Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes at his comment. He turned around, picked a computer, and sat down. He felt really stupid to not ask her about her schedule.

The two hours he spent working on his paper was incredibly slow. He didn’t get much done that day. He had writer’s block. He was almost done, so he didn’t worry about it too much. He didn’t know Hange’s schedule. He knew she worked Friday, the day they met; Saturday; Monday, and Tuesday. Maybe she only worked four times a week? Before he knew it, he asked Moblit aloud. It was almost an accident.

“Uh, she’ll be in on Friday,” Moblit replied. He probably couldn’t give out that information to some creep who began visiting daily with an attitude. He muttered a “thanks” before finishing up and heading out. The weather was holding up for now, so he decided to make a run for it. He didn’t say goodbye to Moblit.

He didn’t have an umbrella. The sun was trying to shine through the dark, eerie clouds. It wasn’t trying hard enough. He heard thunder rumbling in the distance.

Levi realized that this girl was all he thought about the past few days. Something about her enticed him. Something about her eyes and her presence drew him towards her. His heart skipped a beat whenever she’d graze his hand on accident, or even when she just talked to him. She made him happy. He hadn’t had too many friends in college. Although they just met last week, he felt a deep connection with her. 

Suddenly, the sun poked through the clouds for a brief moment. The world lit up. It was at that moment he recognized a familiar face. Hange. She was walking towards him. She grinned when she saw him. She wore a fitted black t-shirt and baggy, light blue jeans. 

“Levi!” She exclaimed. “I forgot my jacket in the library, so I came down to get it.” 

“You didn’t tell me you weren’t working today.” Is all Levi said. Once he said it, he realized how creepy it must’ve sounded. A man she just met happens to go to this library to work on his project every day, who happens to come up with multiple reasons to interact with her. Maybe she thought he was a perv.

“Ehh!” She sighed. “I’m sorry! I thought I told you I was off today.” Levi shook his head. The comment itself may have sounded rude, but it wasn’t. She genuinely felt bad. “Walk with me.” Levi followed. Guess not.

“I don’t work Wednesday’s and Thursday’s. Well I’m not supposed to be,” Hange explained. “Mobilt, one of my co-workers, is always calling out sick. So I basically run the place.” They walked towards the library again and entered. 

“Hey, Moblit. How’s it going?” Hange said in a normal tone, heading towards the back of the library. Moblit responded briefly, following Hange. Levi decided to hang back, he figured it was a secure area. He looked around awkwardly.

“Hange, you didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend,” Moblit said, following her towards the back. 

Hange chuckled nervously. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she said bluntly. “He’s just a friend.” Moblit scoffed, rolling his eyes. “If he’s not your boyfriend, how come his mood entirely changed once he saw you?”

Hange found her jacket, folding it over her forearm. “Huh?”

“He was, like, in a bad mood when he came in. He used the computer but he seemed to be pissed or something. Now that he’s with you, he seems… tolerable.”

Hange laughed, feeling her cheeks blush. “It’s nothing like that. People have bad days, you know.”

Hange rolled her eyes and smirked, then headed towards the front of the library. “Ready?” Levi nodded and turned around.

“See you Friday,” Moblit called out. “See ya.” Hange replied.

The two started walking down the street. The air smelt of rain, and the ground was wet from the rain earlier. “Which building is your dorm in?” Hange asked. He was a bit surprised she asked him that, and she was so direct about it.

“Saint Maria,” He replied. She smiled. “Me too! I can’t believe I haven’t seen you around!” The wind picked up and the sky turned darker than before. They both looked up. “If you can’t make it to the library, you can use my desktop in my dorm room,” Hange offered. Levi’s cheeks turned bright red. 

“Thanks, maybe tomorrow I can stop by,” Levi said. It was more of him thinking aloud than a statement. It was too late though, Hange already heard him. He could’ve sworn he didn’t say it aloud.

“That’s fine! I only have a class early tomorrow morning. Come by around 11, okay? My room number is 506.” Levi nodded. Thunder rolled and sounded closer now. They were almost at the dormitory building when it started to downpour. The rain was forcefully coming down on the two. Levi groaned in annoyance. He hated being in the rain. He hated being wet; he hated the wet socks and how gross he felt when it rained. He would’ve started to run to the building to seek cover, but he was taken aback by his new friend.

She was soaked and embracing it. She lifted her head up to face the sky and she laughed. It was loud, happy, genuine, and it took Levi’s breath away. Hange reached her hands out wide and spun around. He saw a strike of lightning light up the sky. He stared at her in awe. His heart swelled. Levi smiled big. After laughing, Hange looked at Levi and shared the look that he wore just a few moments ago. She loved his smile. She wished to make him smile more. She was also determined to make him laugh, too.

She grabbed his hand. “Let’s take cover!” And she pulled him into the dormitory hall. Saint Maria’s hall was beautiful. It had ceiling-to-floor glass pane windows that were always crystal clear. There was a big black modern chandelier that hung from the ceiling. It contained visible light bulbs. Hange secretly loved it. There were the same big, yellow, leather couches in the living room as there were in the study area on his floor. They both wiped their feet off on the big rug in the entryway. 

“I love the rain,” Hange deduced, turning her head to look at him. As if Levi couldn’t tell. Her hand was still holding his. Levi looked up at her. “I like it, too.”

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

Five times Mcgonogall had to deal with the Marauders being dumbasses about feelings and the one time one of them had it all figured out (alternatively titled: Slytherins may be morally challenged but at least they’re not as thick as warthogs)

1) James [Two Birds - Regina Spektor]

Mcgonogall gets woken up at four in the morning by a panicking James Potter in fourth year. She opens the door only a crack and he shoves his way in before she can even invite him in (which she still hadn’t fully decided she was going to do at all). He plops himself down in her chair, slams his hands down on her desk, and says, “So I kissed Sirius.”

Mcgonogall raises an eyebrow. James flushes bright red and starts sputtering out an explanation, “No, Minnie, you don’t understand, he’s my best friend, I love him, he’s brilliant, I think I wanna snog him for the rest of my life but he’s a fucking boy, Minnie -” Mcgonogall holds up her hand. James shuts his mouth.

“Mr. Potter,” she starts. “I have watched you and Mr. Black dance around each other for years. There is no doubt in my mind that the two of you were meant to find each other, in whatever way. The fact that you are both boys is irrelevant.” James takes a moment to absorb this, then squeaks, “Then why do I still like girls?”

Mcgonogall sighs. “You can like both, Jamie. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.” James blushes. “Oh,” he says, and then, “Lily Evans is really pretty.”

Mcgonogall sighs again. “I’m aware you think so, Mr. Potter. I’m also aware she’s dating Severus Snape.” James’ pink cheeks pale again, and he looks down. “Oh,” he says again, and then, “Should I kiss Sirius again, Miss?” Mcgonogall shrugs.

“You should do whatever makes you happy,” she answers, holding open the door. “Now off to bed with you, Mr. Potter. There’s only so many hours til the morning.” James considers this for a moment, then nods slowly, walking over and standing in the doorway.

“Mr. Potter?” She asks at his hesitation, and he suddenly turns and wraps his arms around her waist, burying his face in her robes. “Thanks, Minnie,” he mumbles, and she brushes a shocked hand once through his curls before he pulls back with a blush and runs off down the hall.

As soon as Mcgonogall’s closed the door, Severus pokes his head out from her study.

“Gryffindors, amiright?” He says, cracking a smile, and she raises an unimpressed eyebrow.

“I am a Gryffindor, Mr. Snape.” Severus just raises an eyebrow right back.

Mcgonogall sighs, lifting her skirts and heading back to her study. “But yes, yes, I suppose you’re right. Now, the next step of becoming an Animagus is…”

2) Peter [Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos]

Peter’s serving a detention with Mcgonogall when she notices he’s been quiet. Instead of “accidentally” messing up his tasks in the funniest ways he can muster, he’s simply doing his work quietly. He’s not even muttering to himself or singing. So, being the awesome person she is, she asks him what’s wrong.

Peter shrugs, not answering. She waits. A minute passes and he sighs, looking up at her with glassy eyes. “I don’t think my friends care about me.”

Mcgonogall wrinkles her nose. “What on earth gives you that idea?” She asks, and Peter shrugs, ducking his head down again. “Mr. Pettigrew. Why do you think your friends don’t care about you?”

Peter exhales heavily, but looks back up and answers. “Because they’re not here! Because I’m just their scapegoat! Because I’m not smart like Remus or charming like Sirius or brave like James or funny like all of them, I’m just the roommate they think they need to include. I’m - I’m expendable.” He spits the last word, throwing down the book he was about to put away and stomping towards the door.

Calmly, Mcgonogall says, “You’re an idiot, Peter.”

Peter freezes, turning around with a flushed face. “What?” He asks, and Mcgonogall sighs.

“I have seen many a clique in all my years of teaching. I know what real friendship looks like and I know the lack of it just the same. I know how to tell when one person cares about another and when to intervene. I know when true friends have been made. And you, Mr. Pettigrew, are one of the most beloved students I have ever had the fortune to meet. Most notably by those three boys you think are constantly leaving you behind, when really they’re always looking over their shoulders to check if you’re still there.”

Peter flushes red. He ducks his head, but not before she sees his smile. “Thanks, Professor,” he mutters, and she nods once, sharply, and waves her hand in dismissal.

“Report back tomorrow for your next detention. And bring those blithering idiots with you.” Peter beams, skipping out the door with a wave.

As soon as Peter’s left, Mcgonogall spins her chair to the side and looks down at Severus, sitting on the floor beside her desk with his legs splayed out in front of him and his nose buried in a book.

“So?” She asks. “What do you think? Gryffindor stupidity or Marauder stupidity?”

Severus snorts. “Honestly? Both. I mean, at least he has friends.” He turns a page and then freezes, suddenly realizing what he’s just admitted. He looks up at her and blinks owlishly, to which Mcgonogall waves a hand in dismissal.

“Nonsense. You have Miss Evans. And me, of course.”

Severus blushes. “Lily’s been distant, lately - wait, did you just say we’re friends?”

Mcgonogall raises her eyebrow. “Well you did always get on well with Gryffindors.”

Severus blinks. Then his eyes start to glisten and he smiles into his book. “Oh. Thanks.”

Mcgonogall pats his head and kisses it just for a single second as she stands and passes by him into her study. She’ll have to tell Albus about this at teatime.

3) Remus [Into The Open Air - Julie Fowlis]

A knock comes to Mcgonogall’s door over Christmas break in fifth year. It’s so late even she isn’t really awake, but she walks over anyway, grumbling as she steps over Severus’ sleeping form, curled on the floor over some books.

“Yes?”

She opens the door to a rumpled Remus Lupin, on the verge of tears and yet ever so polite as he manages to choke out, “May I speak with you, please?”

The last word is barely out of his mouth before he’s crying. He tries to cover his face as she puts a hand on his back and gently guides him inside, helping him settle into the chair in front of her desk. She Accios him some tissues and a mug of cocoa, and he sniffles out a thank you, desperately trying to get himself under control as he weeps.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” he finally manages. “I know it’s late, I just -” Mcgonogall holds up a hand to stop him.

“Mr. Lupin,” she says. “When a student of mine shows up at my door in tears, the time is not my first concern.” Remus flushes, ducking his head to his lap. He sniffs, then makes to stand.

“Well. Thank you. I’d, um, best be going now -”

“Remus.”

Remus freezes. “As I have never seen you cry before, forgive me if I’m hesitant to let you leave without hearing your reason for doing so.” Remus sniffs again. He stays still for a moment before sighing, wilting back into the chair. He takes a deep breath, then rasps, “I’m in love with Sirius.”

For a moment, there is only silence. Then, Mcgonogall clears her throat. “I see,” she says, slowly. “May I ask when exactly you came to this conclusion?”

Remus’ face nearly crumples again, but he catches it at the last minute, hands fidgeting in his lap as he mumbles, “Um - fuck. Uh, third year? Maybe? Ish?”

Mcgonogall’s eyes widen. Without an excuse to keep talking, Remus collapses back into tears. Mcgonogall watches him for a moment before murmuring, “This is about Sirius and James.”

Remus flinches. Mcgonogall shoves the tissue box towards him again and he sniffles, taking one.

“Yeah,” he finally says. “I was, um. I was trying to deal with it, y’know, on my own, but there’s only so much of watching the love of my fucking life make out with my best friend that I can take and so I - I kind of thought I’d talk to you because I don’t really have any other friends and I’d rather nobody know because I don’t want them to fucking pity me, I hate when people pity me, but I, um - anyway, I came here now because they’re on break and they won’t ask so many questions about why I was here cause they won’t know and I just -”

He rambles on, but Mcgonogall can’t much process what he’s saying, as half of it is in Welsh seemingly without Remus’ knowledge and all she can think about is every single interaction Remus and Sirius have ever had in front of her and how - wow, oh Merlin, she really should’ve seen that, huh?

“That must suck,” she interrupts his rambling with, unable to stop herself before the words escape, and Remus shuts his mouth with a snap and then nods, wincing and blinking back more tears.

“Yeah, it’s… it’s not fun,” he says softly. “Anyway, um, I - I know I can’t do anything about it, okay?” She raises an eyebrow and Remus flushes, ducking his head again. “I know that they love each other and they’re happy and I would be a pretty selfish person if I decided to ruin all of that for no reason other than my stupid fucking feelings. Besides, it’s not like I could make Sirius love me anyways, so it’d all just be a gigantic waste of time.”

Mcgonogall hums. “But?”

Remus’ shoulders slump and he buries his face in his hands. “But,” he mumbles, “sometimes I just hate them for it. Because why should they get to be so fucking happy? Because why do I have to be so fucking miserable? Because I don’t know what I did to deserve all the shit I’ve been through, but clearly I did something. Because… because…” He pauses, a last, single tear falling down his cheek like a shooting star. “Because I’m a half-blood queer werewolf covered in ugly scars who will never be able to find a steady job or afford a comfortable home and I’ve spent a lot of time questioning whether it was even worth it to keep going but I always thought of him, y’know? Because if he was still there I’d be okay. But he’s… he’s not gonna be, because he and James are gonna get married and they’re gonna have like fifty million kids and they’re gonna move away and I’m just gonna be here, a homeless werewolf whoring himself out to get by because I’ll just never fucking have anything better.”

They are quiet for a very long time. Finally, Mcgonogall takes a deep breath and reaches forward to grasp his hand.

“You will always have me,” she says solemnly, looking into his sad, sad eyes. “You will always have a home here, with me. I can’t promise you Sirius or children or even a job, but I can promise that you will always be loved by me.”

Remus cracks a small smile. His eyes are still dead, but she can see the tiniest spark amid the embers. “Thanks, Minnie,” he whispers, and stands. “Goodnight.”

Mcgonogall nods, watching him leave. “Goodnight, Mr. Lupin. Come back any time.”

“Sirius loves him back, you know.”

Mcgonogall turns her head towards her bedroom, where a sleepy, frumpled Severus holds himself up against the door with a hand, his hair sticking up all over the place.

“Oh?” She says, and he shrugs, trudging over to her desk and picking up Remus’ unfinished hot cocoa and chugging it down.

“Yeah,” he rasps, wiping at his mouth. “Not that he knows it yet, but. ‘S kinda hard to miss, those two.”

Mcgonogall nods, slowly. She asks, “And how would you know this, Severus?”

Severus flushes, shrugging. “The way he looks at him.” Mcgonogall raises her eyebrow.

“What about it?”

Severus goes from pink to red, mumbling into the mug in his hands. “It’s the same way Lily looks at me and James,” he murmurs. “And the same way James looks at her. Well, her and…”

He ducks his head, pursing his lips. Mcgonogall lowers one eyebrow and raises the other. “Her and…?”

“Me,” Severus answers, soft. “The way James looks at her and me.”

Mcgonogall is quiet for a moment. Finally she hums, standing from her chair and heading back towards her study.

“You’d best be on your way, Mr. Snape,” she says. “You’ve not slept in a bed in nearly a week.” Severus nods, still flushed, and escapes into the hallway with only three of her books hidden under his cloak.

4) Lily [Touch The Sky - Julie Fowlis]

Mcgonogall is in the middle of a critical lesson to her first years when the doors of her classroom burst open and Lily storms in, her eyes steely as she stares Mcgonogall down. “A moment, Professor, if you please?” She says, and Mcgonogall raises an eyebrow.

“I am teaching a class, Miss Evans -” Lily’s eye twitches. At the sight, Mcgonogall’s brow furrows, and she sighs. “Very well. I expect nine inches on the importance of intent when transfiguring an object next class - oh, and your best attempt at doodling a giraffe while you’re at it.”

The students all file out with nervous glances towards Lily and Mcgonogall. When the last one trickles out, Mcgonogall waves her hand and shuts all the doors with an impressive display of wandless magic before raising her eyebrow and nodding towards the chair in front of her desk. “Well, Miss Evans? What did you need to speak with me so badly about that you felt the need to completely derail an incredibly important introductory lesson to my first years?”

Lily collapses into the chair and sinks into herself, shaking her head and burying her face in her hands. Mcgonogall sighs. “Miss Evans -”

“Don’t call me that,” Lily rasps. “Don’t call me that, I’m not - I’m not a Miss.”

Mcgonogall raises an eyebrow. “What are you, then?” She asks carefully, and Lily sighs. After a moment of useless fidgeting, Lily says, “Mr. I’m a Mr.”

Mcgonogall nods slowly, considering this. “Well then, Mr. Evans,” she drawls, “will that be all?”

Lily flushes bright red, then shakes his head. “Um, I - I’m a boy, right? And it’s weird for a boy to be called Lily, right? That’s weird, right?”

Mcgononall purses her lips, lacing her fingers together in front of her. Lily watches her anxiously. “I don’t think it’s weird at all, actually,” she finally answers, and Lily lets out a loud breath of air.

“Oh,” he says, curling in on himself. “So if I still wanna be called Lily, that’s - that’s okay? I can do that?” Mcgonogall nods.

“You can be called whatever you like, Lily,” she says. “Mr. Evans. Whatever you like.” Lily smiles for a moment, flushing happily, before frowning again.

“But what about Severus?” He asks in a small voice. “What will he think of his girlfriend being his boyfriend?”

Mcgonogall leans back in her chair, considering this. She glances down at the empty spot next to her, where Severus would be if he were not in class this morning. She purses her lips and carefully answers, “I think that if Severus truly loves you, which all evidence points to, then he will not stop for such an insignificant revelation.”

Lily grins down at his lap, cheeks pinkening, and nods. “Thank you, Professor,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry for interrupting your lesson.”

Mcgonogall waves away his concern as he stands and heads for the door. “No matter. You can make it up to me with tea on Sunday. Oh, and Lily, dear?”

Lily looks up, hand on the door, and smiles. “Yes?”

Mcgonogall smirks. “I daresay Mr. Potter will not mind either.”

Lily turns the color of his hair and nods spastically before disappearing into the fray of students just dismissed.

“Lily cut his hair today,” Severus greets her with when he arrives that afternoon, weighed down by the tons of books in his arms. He dumps them on a nearby desk and makes his way over to her desk, picking up a quill and some parchment and settling in the chair across from her. “It’s all short and frayed and soft. He looks handsome.”

Mcgonogall hums. “Did you tell him that?” She asks as she summons them some tea, smiling at the way Severus hisses when it hits his tongue (he’s always had a bad habit of forgetting to blow before sipping).

“Of course I did,” he says, still scribbling. “He’s my boyfriend. It’s my job to make him happy, and if sweet compliments that make my teeth rot are what make him happy, then fuck my embarrassment, I guess.” Mcgonogall nods, pleased.

“What a gentleman you are,” she drawls, then takes a sip of her tea and asks, “What are you writing?” Severus freezes, then looks up at her with wide eyes.

“Just a list,” he finally says softly. “Of all the things I want to do before this war kills me.”

Alarmed, Mcgonogall coughs, beating her chest lightly as she sets her tea down. “You will not die in this war, Severus,” she says, her hands shaking. “None of you will.”

Severus shrugs and answers quietly, “With all due respect, Professor, we’re all going to die in this war, whether it be now or later.”

Mcgonogall feels her eyes sting with tears but pushes them back, shaking her head. “No,” she rasps. “No, none of you will die in this war. It will be finished before you leave the confines of this school.” Severus smiles sadly at her, shaking his head as he returns to his list.

“Sorry, ma’am. But half of my House have already sworn their loyalty to Voldemort, and soon enough others will be forced into it. Myself, Regulus, and Sirius among them.” Mcgonogall draws in a sharp breath. Quick as a whip, she tears the list from Severus’ hand and throws him a new parchment.

“Here,” she says. “Make a new list. Names of everyone you know with that wretched Mark, and anyone who’s thinking of it. I don’t care what House, you let me know. You bring me that list when it’s finished and I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of you, Severus. All of you.”

Severus stares for a moment, dark eyes unseeing, before ducking his head to the parchment, writing slower than before. Clear names begin to come into view: Sirius Potter. Regulus Black. Lucius Malfoy. Bellatrix Black. Narcissa Black. Mulciber, Avery, Dolohov… The list goes on and on until finally Severus finishes with a final flourish of his trembling hand, Severus Snape.

He then hands the list to Mcgonogall, who smiles thinly. “Thank you, Severus,” she murmurs, and he smiles wryly.

“Thank you, Professor,” he answers, and leaves in a hurry, forgetting his books on the way out.

5) Sirius [First Man - Camila Cabello]

Mcgonogall is making her rounds around the castle one night in sixth year when she hears the sound of someone crying. She wanders until she finds the source of the noise - Sirius Potter, his knees pulled to his chest as he stares into the Mirror of Erised.

Mcgonogall drinks him in - his bruised eyes, his sunken cheeks, his shaking hands - and murmurs, “Mr. Potter, it’s late.” Sirius flinches. He stands in a hurry and brushes himself off, wiping at his eyes as he pushes past her.

“Of course, Professor. I’ll just be heading to bed now -”

She grasps his arm, making him pause. He bites his lip, and she swallows.

“You’ll do no such thing,” she murmurs, as gently as she can. “Come with me, Mr. Potter.” He winces again, but follows her soundlessly, hunched over like he’s trying to make himself as small as possible. When they reach her classroom, she moves wordlessly to her desk and settles in her chair, gesturing to the chair in front of her as Sirius closes the door behind him hesitantly. “Please sit, Mr. Potter,” she says, and Sirius flinches so violently this time she worries he might snap in half.

“Don’t call me that,” he hisses, and for a moment she’s transported back to that conversation with Lily all those months ago. “Don’t call me that, please. I… I don’t deserve it.”

Mcgonogall raises an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve to be called by your own name?” She asks, and Sirius withers like a dying flower into the chair in front of her.

“No,” he finally says, softly. “It’s not my name, Professor. That name belongs to my ex-boyfriend. My name is Black.”

Mcgonogall’s other eyebrow raises in surprise. She hums. “Ex-boyfriend?”

Sirius shrugs, wrapping his arms around himself. “After I hurt Moony - Remus, Jamie socked me in the jaw and told me I wasn’t a Marauder anymore. Was caught makin’ out with Evans and Snivellus soon enough anyway. He hasn’t spoken to me in months - I can take a hint, Professor. I may be a stupid, dumb, moronic piece of shit that doesn’t deserve to live, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s how to tell when somebody stops loving me.”

Mcgonogall feels her heart break open in her chest and stems it with white hot rage - for Remus, for James, for Severus, and, despite everything, for Sirius.

“You are not dumb, or stupid, or moronic,” she says slowly, lacing her fingers together in front of her. “And you’re certainly not a piece of shit. Impulsive and reckless at times, yes, but you’re not worthless. Trust me, Sirius, I’ve met worthless people, and they are nothing like you. Your life means something.”

Sirius laughs. Mcgonogall has never heard such an unhappy sound in her life.

“With all due respect, Professor, I’m the worst fuck-up anyone’s seen in generations,” he snarks. “I’m the disowned disgrace of the Black family who fucks boys and wears dresses and falls in love with poncy tossers and half-blood werewolves whose deepest secrets I give away like a fucking Death Eater spy. I’m the most worthless kind of person there is.”

Mcgonogall pushes her chair back, stands, and makes quick strides around the desk and over to Sirius, pulling him against her chest.

“You are beautiful,” she whispers, right into his ear. “You are smart. You are kind. You are brave. You are selfless. You are funny. You are brilliant. But above all, Sirius, you are good.” Feeling him start to tremble against her, her robes beginning to dampen, she musters up a smile, feeling her own tears well up as she runs her fingers through his hair.

“You are my favorite student, Sirius Padfoot Potter Lupin,” she whispers as he sobs. “You are James Potter’s favorite person, and Regulus Black’s favorite brother. You are Remus Lupin’s favorite friend and you are everyone’s favorite Gryffindor. You are one of the best souls in this world and we would all be devastated to lose you.”

Sirius sniffles against her chest. “Really?” He blubbers, and she kisses the top of his head.

“Really,” she answers, and he laughs into her robes. He mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like I love you and she says, “What was that?”

Flushing, he pulls back, shaking his head and wiping away his tears. “Thank you, Minnie,” he says shyly, and she nods, smiling and squeezing his hand.

“Anytime, love. Would you like me to walk you back to your dorm or do you think you can do it yourself?” She asks, and Sirius shrugs when the door creaks open and Remus Lupin pokes his head through with a soft, “Padfoot? Are you in there?”

Sirius’ eyes widen and his tear-streaked face lights up like the sun as he bounds down the steps and over to Remus, skidding to a stop just before he reaches him. “Here, Remus,” he murmurs, and Remus smiles, running a fond hand through Sirius’ silky dark hair.

“Come on then, Siri,” he says softly. “Time for bed.” Sirius blushes, leaning in just a bit, and Remus grins, engulfing him in a hug and pecking his cheek before pulling back to grab his hand. “I’ve got it from here, Professor,” he says to Mcgonogall with a polite nod. “You have a good night, Miss.”

Mcgonogall smiles and nods back, watching her boys disappear out the door and into the night before sighing to herself and drawing her robes tighter around her to block the wind as she heads, finally, to bed.

In the morning, she wakes up to Severus already in her classroom, making himself busy at  one of the desks. She blearily makes them a few cups of tea before settling across from him, taking in the disorganized array of cauldrons, ingredients, and notes in front of him.

“What’s all this then?” She asks, taking a sip of her tea and then wincing at the sheer sweetness from overpoured sugar, and Severus shrugs.

“Trying to make a potion out of wolfsbane,” he answers, voice soft. “Thought it might be able to prevent transformations.”

Mcgonogall raises an eyebrow. “My, my. A difficult task indeed. May I ask why?” Severus shrugs again, his nose buried in the notebook he’s scribbling in.

“To help Remus, of course,” he says, as if it were obvious, as if they’ve been friends for years. Mcgonogall nods, humming, and takes another sip of her disgusting tea.

“Your new interest is Mr. Lupin is certainly… kind,” she says, and Severus finally looks up at her, eyes wide and dark but so, so light.

“He’s nice,” he murmurs. “That’s all.”

And Mcgonogall suspects that there is far, far more reason than that, but it’s far too early and she’s far too tired to even begin picking apart the peculiar behaviors of one Severus Snape Evans Potter, so instead she simply nods and plonks her head down in her arms, allowing herself to be lulled to sleep by the sound of rustling notebook pages, cracking bezoars and Severus’ out-of-tune humming of Beatles songs.

1) Regulus [Learn Me Right - Birdy, Mumford & Sons]

A few hours before his graduation, Regulus shows up at Mcgonogall’s door, the smallest of smiles settled on his face. “Good morning, Professor,” he says, and she sighs.

“You graduate in three hours, Mr. Black,” she says tiredly. “What could you possibly need my help with now?”

Regulus gives her an amused smile, tracing his fingers along the desks of his brothers and friends as he walks through the rows he’s sat in for so many years. “Nothing,” he answers finally, looking towards her. “I came to deliver this.”

He hands her a light blue card decorated in fluttering rainbow butterflies that reads, You have been cordially invited to the wedding of Remus Moony Lupin and Sirius Padfoot Potter on the 21st of June. At the bottom is a hastily scrawled note in two different hands, We hope you can make it. We love you, Minnie! Thank you for everything! Thank you, Minnie.

Mcgonogall clutches the invitation in surprise and looks up at Regulus with the breathless question, “Really?” Regulus just smiles, nodding.

“Yup,” he says in that slow drawl of his. “Severus and Lily and James have been talking about it too, so you can expect to see another one of those soon.” Mcgonogall smiles, blinking back tears.

“And you?” She asks, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “What will you do, Mr. Black?”

Regulus shakes his head and bites his lip, looking up at her with twinkling eyes and a sparkling grin. “It’s Mr. Lupin now,” he answers, “and I have no bloody idea.”

Mcgonogall laughs aloud, drawing him into a hug and kissing the top of his head. She sends him off with a wave and well-wishes.

Six years later, there’s a knock on her door. Summer has barely started but most of the castle is empty anyhow, with students having been sent home and most teachers taking their vacations now. With the war having been over for years now and the fight for werewolf rights making serious headway, Professor Mcgonogall does not receive many visitors. So she only expects Dumbledore when she opens the door, but instead there’s Severus, grinning and holding the hand of a fluffy-haired, green-eyed toddler with a lightning birthmark on his forehead.

“Hi, Professor,” he says, waving his free hand. She catches the glint of a wedding ring and tears up, smiling as she draws him in for a hug.

“Who’s this?” She asks, bending down to shake the little boy’s hand. Severus grins.

“This is Harry,” he says. “Harry Evans. My son.”

Mcgonogall looks up at him in shock. He shrugs, and suddenly she’s beaming, hugging him close again. “I’m so happy for you,” she whispers, and Severus squeezes her tight.

“I owe it all to you, Minnie,” he murmurs back, and kisses her cheek as she pulls back. After a moment of just smiling at each other, he says, “I have a few hours free to catch up, if you want? Tea?” Mcgonogall beams.

“But of course,” she teases, offering her arm. Severus takes it, laughing, and closes the door behind them with a few simple words of warning: “I feel I should mention, you can also expect untimely visits from six other Marauder children.” Mcgonogall looks at him, shakes her head, and sighs.

“Just as well,” she answers, and Severus laughs, joy shaking his bones. “But you owe me so much tea.” Severus winks.

“I’ve got the literal and figurative kind whenever you’re free,” he answers, and Mcgonogall smiles.

Severus announces his relationship with Lily and James by dragging them in by the hand one morning and shouting, “I got it, Professor!”

[kiegosbby]

HEATHER PART 2 PLEASE

ok so this is NOT how I wanted this to turn out but, it’s 1 am and I would like some sleep so if you guys have any suggestions, please let me know and I’ll rewrite it however you want

** UNEDITED **

@yoonjisedits @honestgalaxy @sicbich @traumapolline @comically-sleep-deprived

I think that’s everyone, sorry if I missed you

✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

aizawa stood there, staring at you as you got in your car and drove away.

he heard the voice of ms joke behind him, before he felt a hand touch his shoulder. he turned around and let out a annoyed sigh, giving her a death glare

“Zawa! Shouldn’t you be home yet? Kinda late to be hanging around in a parking lot?” She sounded so happy? How could she be so happy all the time? It annoyed him so much. Can’t she just shut up for one second?

“cut the crap joke, and dont think I won’t forget that shit you pulled at lunch either. using your quirk on me? That’s a low blow.” he started walking towards his car, trying to wrap his mind around why you, the women he loved had ran away from him. denied him love?

he thought you had feelings for him. all the looks you would give him, how you would become nervous around him, everything had signs of you liking him. he was relieved none the less, mostly because he had been deeply in love with you the moment he saw you, but lets ignore that for now

You were sitting on your couch, on the phone with midnight trying to explain what happened today, and what you saw

“then she called him zawa! O-only I call him that! And did I say that he was laughing with her? I’ve never made him look or feel that way. I could never be enough for him. how could I be so stupid Nemuri?” your speech was filled with hiccups, of course you had been drinking. your little heart couldn’t take this heartbreak

“y/n maybe there just friends? They have known each other for a very long time they could be close. and anyways your way better than her! I would much rather spend time with you then her.” she was trying to reassure you, you could tell but you wanted to deny it

“and when I told him I wanted to forget the kiss, after I left he started talking to joke right after. You believe that fucking bullshit?” more tears were running down your face as she tried to calm you telling you how you were better and didn’t deserve any of this

“I’m g-gonna go I’ll see you tomorrow” you hung up quickly before she could say anything, throwing yourself on the cushions and crying until you fell asleep

A couple streets away, aizawa laid in his bed staring at his ceiling thinking about you. he wanted so badly to ask you why you wanted to forget. he loved you, but it wasn’t meant to be.

he felt a pang shoot through his heart and felt tears fall from his eyes. his face stayed the same as always. he closed his eyes hoping to get some sleep and forget about everything

the next morning was rough for the both of you

you had woke up hungover, head aching and needing more sleep but, you did have a job

aizawa woke up feeling more tired then normal, the feeling still running through his heart, hurting him over and over

you felt the same way, but you knew how to cope with it. It had happened to you before and you weren’t going to let it affect you. he didn’t want you so you were going to move on.

on the other hand, aizawa was prepared to fix it. he came to the conclusion that he wasn’t ready to lose you and he never would be.

he would find you before school started and confront you. if you were actually serious he needed to know the reason.

you walked into the school, bags under your eyes which were red and puffy from crying and your hair was a mess, sticking all over the place. with a drink in your hand to help you get over the hangover, you took medicine to help and began walking to your class, hoping this day would be over quick

but of course that wouldn’t happen, and you saw him walking towards you. he hadn’t seen you yet so you tried to get away, dipping into the first classroom you saw

you looked around, trying to see where you were and your heart dropped when you realized where you had ended up.

aizawa classroom.

of fucking course

you mentally slapped yourself, how dumb could you be? you’d never live this down

you heard the door open and turned your head, watching as his face lit up at the sight of you, confusion quickly fogged your head

“Y-y/n I didn’t expect to see you here I was going to look for you but now that your here can we please talk about what happened?” he walked to his desk setting his stuff down as you closed your eyes, sighing from the headache you had. you definitely weren’t ready for this

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about, I already told you yesterday”

“but why? You seemed so happy when we kissed! I know you liked me I saw how you acted around me so what happened? Was it me?”

why was he acting like this? He should be happy that you didn’t want him. He could be with joke happily.

“what’s the big deal huh? I’m doing this for you shoto! can’t you see that? I’ve seen the way you look at her, you love her don’t you?” you were fuming at this point,

“who are you talking about? Have you fucking lost it?” at this point you could almost see the smoke flowing out of his ears.

“I’m talking about joke, you think I wouldn’t notice? You can’t just kiss me and like someone else like that!”

he looked angry, well beyond angry. it scared you

“you think I LIKE JOKE? ARE YOU CRAZY?”

he yelled at you, walking closer to you, and you took steps back rethinking this whole decision

“y/n. I don’t like anyone. but I-I love you so please just please don’t end it like this I need you I can’t just forget you I can’t just throw away my feelings!” his head hung low, fist clenched at his sides and you never saw him look more pathetic then he did now

wait did he say he loved you?

millions of thoughts ran through your head as you stared at him with confusion, not knowing what to say

“please say something y/n..”

there was a moment of silence, before you spoke up

“Y-you love me?” you were confused, you thought he didn’t care for you at all, but he loves you?

“yes y/n. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you. your perfect to me and I wouldn’t want anyone else a-and I promise that whatever you think I have with joke isn’t anything yesterday when you saw us she was using her quirk on me it wasn’t anything you need to worry about I have no feels for her at all and I-“

“zawa your rambling”

he looked up at you and a small smile graced your face, making his heart beat faster

“and I love you too..”

he walked up picking you up in a hug and spun you both around, making you both let out a laugh leaning your foreheads on each other’s and you felt happy. happy that you finally had him

[yesmooshoe]

6) (i) from the AU list for ironhusbands? 👀💖

You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you.

“Rhodey Rhodey Rhodey! I need help!” Tony cried out as he burst through the front door of their drafty apartment.

Rhodey’s head shot up to look at him, but he didn’t move from the nest he’d created on their couch. He was wrapped in several blankets with a few large stacks of books and notebooks surrounding him. Mid-Terms started next week, and he had a lot of material to get through.

As Tony stumbled over some of Rhodey’s books on his way into the living room, he finally noticed all of the shopping bags that Tony was carrying.

“Did you get a haircut?” Rhodey asked, seeing that his friend’s usually unkempt hair was freshly trimmed and styled.

“Yeah, and I got a bunch of new clothes. I have a date! An actual date! And all of my clothes are trash and I’ve got no idea what to wear so I went to the mall and just like bought everything that looked cool because I just really want her to think I’m cool.” Tony rambled as he dropped the bags to the floor and started tearing through them.

“Wait, hold up. You have a what?”

“A date!” Tony said with a big smile.

“With who?” Rhodey asked as he closed his book, realizing that this was going to be a thing. Tony didn’t date. If he wasn’t at the apartment he was either at class or in the robotics lab, and he didn’t really have any other friends.

Until this year, at least. Tony was 17 and finally the same age as some of his fellow classmates, so Rhodey had noticed him being a bit more social. Still, Rhodey felt very protective, and while he’d never admit it out loud, he kind of missed having Tony all to himself.

“Uh, Amy Lin? She’s a freshman! And she’s on the robotics team and she’s just super cool and smart and we were sitting outside today and she was like 'hey do you want to go out sometime?' and I was like 'what do you mean, we're already outside.' and then she laughed and was like 'no like...go out. On a date.' and I just felt like such an idiot and I didn't know what to say but eventually I managed to say yes I think and well now we're going on a date! And I have no idea what to wear, you gotta help me. Everything I own is ripped or has burn holes from welding or is covered in grease and who knows what else and I just want to look good."

Rhodey resisted the urge to tell him that he'd look good in a paper bag, and did his best to swallow his own jealousy before he started helping him look through the bags.

The crush on Tony was very new. 

Two years ago Tony had just been this quiet, nerdy kid who didn't know how to do his own laundry and was afraid of his own shadow. This year though? This year he was just different. Over the Summer he'd grown a few more inches, gotten his braces off, discovered contact lenses, and overall just came off as more mature and confident. Rhodey's jaw had literally dropped when he saw him for the first time at the beginning of the semester, and ever since then he'd been struggling with a lot of feelings.

"Uhh, ok. Well first of all, where are you going?" Rhodey asked as he pulled out item after item, which ranged from a leather jacket to a tuxedo, so he wasn't sure what the vibe was going to be.

"Bowling."

Rhodey just laughed. "You bought a brand new tuxedo to go bowling? Is that what you rich white people do?"

"I...I mean, I don't know. She mentioned maybe getting dinner at one point and I think I just panicked like what if she wanted to go somewhere fancy instead of bowling and all of a sudden and I just started grabbing everything I could possibly need." Tony explained, sounding a bit exasperated.

"Dude, take a deep breath. It's going to be ok."

"I know I just...I want to do everything right. I want her to like me, ya know?"

"She will! She already does. She asked you out, didn't she?"

"Yeah but...I don't know. I don't know what to do. I'm just not used to this. People liking me. I’ve always been so much younger than everyone at school and no one ever talked to me and I always just feel like I missed out on learning how to be a normal teenager. I don’t know how to date." Tony admitted, being way more candid about his feelings than Rhodey was used to.

"You don’t have to worry about that anymore. Just go out and have fun. Be yourself."

"I’m just afraid she’s going to see what a huge nerd I am and change her mind."

“You guys are on the robotics team. You’re both nerds. It’ll be fine.

“I just - 

“Tony.” Rhodey Interrupted. He hated when Tony got like this, and something in him just snapped. “Stop being so down on yourself. You’re funny and smart and sweet and you tell great stories and you’re so enthusiastic about your work and about learning new things so that you can change the world. You’re incredible. And I’m sorry that no one in your life has ever told you that before, but it’s all true and if she sees what I see then...then she’ll love you, ok?”

Tony was just staring at him like a deer in headlights, and Rhodey immediately knew that he’d said way too much. He just hated when Tony got like this, and he wanted him to just see how great he actually was. 

“Rhodey I…” Tony started, clearly unsure of what to say in response to that, and Rhodey’s stomach just dropped. Had he completely fucked this up? Had he made everything weird? There was nothing weird about telling your friend that you love him, right? Even if you did happen to have a huge crush on that friend? 

They were both silent for what felt like forever, though in reality it was only a few seconds.

“You’ll be fine. Anyway. So when is this date?”

Tony glanced down at his watch. “I’m supposed to meet her in 45 minutes.”

“Well, then we’d better get to work.” Rhodey said as he stood up and grabbed an armload of clothes.

They made quick work of it, just putting Tony in jeans, a red t-shirt, the leather jacket, and a fresh pair of Chuck Taylors. They were a little quiet at first, but soon they found their way back to the joking and teasing they were used to. As Tony stood in the hallway trying to fix his hair the way the lady at the hair salon had told him too, Rhodey just stood back and admired his work. There was nothing spectacular about the clothes, but they were new and clean and fit him well. And the leather jacket was driving Rhodey crazy. As he watched Tony from behind, he wanted nothing more than to grab him, pin him against the wall, and have his way with him.

There were a million reasons why he shouldn’t do that, especially since he was literally about to leave to go on a date with someone else. With a girl.

“How do I look?” Tony asked, spinning around and giving him a big smile.

“Great.” Rhodey replied simply, resisting the urge to say hot. He didn’t want to make anything else weird.

Tony seemed unsure, but looked at his watch again and took a deep breath. “Right. Well, I gotta go. Thank you. For everything. Don’t study too hard, all right?” He said with a little smile before taking one more look at himself in the mirror and then heading out.

Rhodey tried to focus on studying after that, but he just couldn’t. He was jealous, he was embarrassed, and most of all he was horny. He took care of the latter problem a few minutes after Tony left, but after that he just laid on his bed and started at a crack in the ceiling while a million thoughts raced through his head.

This crush on Tony was stupid. Tony obviously wasn’t gay, right? And being gay in the Air Force sounded like a not-so-great idea anyway, so Rhodey really had to work on resisting these crushes if he ever wanted the chance to fly. Still, he couldn’t get that image of Tony in the leather jacket out of his mind, nor could he get over how jealous he felt. 

He figured that the best way to get over it was to distract himself, so he got up, took a cold shower, ate some dinner, and settled in back on the couch to watch TV and wait for Tony to get home. Despite the jealousy, he wanted to hear about the date and how it went. He just wanted Tony to be happy, and if dating Amy made him happy, then he’d do his best to be enthusiastic about it. At least on the surface.

Not long after Rhodey settled on the couch Tony came home and immediately plopped down next to him.

“Hey, you’re home early. How’d it go?” Rhodey asked, genuinely shocked that he was home. It hadn’t even been two hours, and he was just glad that he hadn’t decided to jerk off again.

“Yeah, it was fine. I mean, I had fun. We bowled and had some pizza and then sketched up an idea on a napkin for a bowling robot that we might try to build next week.” Tony said as he stared at the floor while fidgeting around with his zipper. “And then like, we were in the arcade part. Playing pinball. And she kissed me.”

“Well hey! That’s good, right?”

“I don’t know. It was weird. I mean, I’ve never kissed anyone before so I’ve not got much to compare it too. But like, it was like kissing my sister. If I had a sister, I guess. I don’t know. Just didn’t do much for me.” Tony admitted quietly, and Rhodey had no idea how to respond to that. Luckily, Tony kept talking. “And then it was a little awkward and she said that she didn’t feel like bowling anymore so we turned in our shoes and then she said that she thought that maybe we should just be friends.”

“Oh. Well shit, that sucks man, I’m sorry. But this is only your first date, there are plenty of other girls out there! There’s even at least 1 more on the robotics team, right? I’m sure you’ll find someone that makes you feel that spark.” Rhodey said as he put his hand on Tony’s shoulder. He just didn’t want him getting too down on himself.

Tony just looked up at him and smiled, and it was a look that Rhodey would have to file away to use later. “Thanks. Yeah, it’s fine. She still wants to be friends, so that’s good. Friends are good. I’m gonna go change, ok?”

“Sure.”

Tony stood up to head to his room, but then stopped and hesitated for a moment.

“Tony? You all right?” Rhodey asked as Tony turned to look at him. He was quiet for a moment, like he was searching for what to say.

“Are you doing anything Friday night?” Tony finally asked.

“No.” Rhodey answered, confused.

“Do you - would you be interested in like - going out?”

“W-what?” Rhodey stuttered out as his heart started pounding. This wasn’t actually happening, was it?

“Go out? Like...on a date? I guess? Unless I read that whole situation earlier wrong.”

“I…” Rhodey just trailed off, completely taken by surprise by all of this. “Um. A date?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Uh...ok. Yeah. We can do that, if you’re sure.”

Tony nodded. “I’m sure. Been thinking about it all night.”

“Oh.”

“Ok, so. It’s a date, yeah? Dinner? Movie? I don’t know, that’s what people do, right?” Tony said as he shoved his hands deep into his jacket pockets.

“We’ll figure something out.”

Tony nodded again and turned to head to his room.

“Hey, Tony?” Rhodey called out after him, causing Tony to stop and turn to him. “Whatever we do, promise me you’ll wear the leather jacket.” Rhodey said with a confident little smile, finally regaining a bit of composure.

A huge grin spread across Tony’s face, like he was finally relaxing too. “All right.”

Rhodey was terrified, but also so excited that he couldn’t imagine focusing on his notes anymore. After Tony disappeared Rhodey ran straight to his room and to his closet, desperately looking through all of his clothing. Nothing seemed good enough, so he figured he’d have to take a trip to the mall himself tomorrow. He wasn’t sure he could look as good as Tony did in the leather, but he could certainly try.

[caxsthetic]

SOLEMN PROMISE — Kita Shinsuke x Reader

Chapter 3: Love Again

Type: TV Series (Multiple Chapters)

Cast: Kita Shinsuke, Miya Atsumu, Kuroo Tetsurou

Storyline: Love couldn’t guarantee that a relationship would last forever. And you learn about it by yourself; with signed paper, and an empty ring finger.

Genre: Slice of Life, Drama

“Yeah.” He patted her back, letting her know that he listened to every word she said. “Relationships are not that simple. You can try to love, you can compromise, but still fail in the end.” He sighed, couldn't believe he let himself think about this too. "But that's just how love is — I guess."

You were afraid to fall in love — again.

He could see it from the very first moment he met you. Kuroo was not that stupid. Yes, he may not be that good with women or relationships in general, but he was observant enough to see right through you.

Lots of his friends had been mourning because of heartbreak. One of his friends that was now an outside hitter for the Japan National Team even once woke up his neighbours while in such an emotional state. Screaming out loud after a break up with his lover.

Kuroo had lived long enough in this world to know, to understand that love was not like how teen lit novels showed. It was not just butterflies inside the stomach, not just holding hands and won’t let go even if sweat already formed, not just kissing under the moonlight with speakers blaring some lo-fi songs.

Love was not just all about those blissful feelings that everyone seeks.

For love could be turned into a curse, leaving the one who got the sickness with misery and tears streaming down their faces. Sometimes — it even made someone lose their willingness to live.

And up until now, he still wonders why he brought you back to his apartment. Around two years ago, where he accompanied his best friend to cheer him up. He never thought that he would find what he hoped was love since he felt that he never had time for that.

Yet he found it inside a woman who drank lots of vodkas, drowning in pain and numbing her heart with alcohol. He found it inside a woman who asked for more liquor, more glasses, more, and more without stopping.

He found it inside a woman who was now lying on his couch, with his arms draped around her. Sleeping peacefully, forgetting the movie that was playing in the background that he muted so it wouldn’t wake her up.

He found the glimpse of love, unexpectedly inside you.

“I think I am gonna throw up.” Kuroo patted his friend’s back, shaking his head in disbelief. He couldn’t believe in himself though, he wondered why he agreed to go here, at the bar downtown while he had to go to the office around 7 am tomorrow.

Maybe because he cared for his friend too much. Yeah, that must be it. The rowdy wing spiker just got his heart shattered into a million little pieces and as a good friend he is, he had to be there.

“I-I am going to the toilet.”

“You okay going alone?” Truth be told, he was extremely worried since he knew sometimes when his friend became too emotional, something bad could happen and he didn’t want that.

“Duh, I am a grown-up.” His friend rolled his eyes, acting so tough. “I can pee alone thank you. I am not going to be hysterical while peeing anyway.”

Kuroo snorted at the answer, somehow doubting that since his mind was already prepared with things that he should do once he heard someone crying and screaming from the restroom. He didn’t show it though, believing that his friend could take care of himself.

He was alone now. Not entirely, but now he hoped his friend chose a table instead of sitting directly at the bar. He could feel the eyes of the bartender staring at him, and it very much made him uncomfortable. He owes me lots. His fingers raked the black strands of his hair as he could only grumble under his breath.

His eyes darted to the non-alcoholic drink that he ordered, sighing as now he thought about something that he never let himself fall into — love.

He knew how it felt to be in a relationship with someone, he had been there, and he didn’t want to go back again. 

Though, his heart longed to have all of that; physical contact, good morning text, knowing someone was there for him, sweet kisses every meeting. He could get all of those again if he wanted, but he decided not to.

Kuroo Tetsurou didn’t want to be with someone again, investing his time to love — not when he knew it was no use. Since in the end, nothing would last forever.

But then again, he never expected you to come barging into his life.

“Why do ya look so fucked up?” He jolted when he could feel someone’s breath on his ear, making him stumble and almost fall from the stool. “Man, yer not even wasted yet so tense! Loosen up, old man!”

Holy fuck, did this drunkard woman really just called me an old man?

“I am sorry, miss. I am here to accompany a friend.” Though no matter how irritated he was from her words, he made sure to stay polite. After all, there was no good outcome from fighting a woman — a drunk woman to be exact.

“Then what’s yer drink? That one you ordered looks so bland.” His eyebrow twitched, letting out a sigh from the blunt statement. “You didn’t look like someone just ripped your heart apart yet you seem more depressed than me, sir.” 

She cackled, making him groan, and hit his forehead on the bar table, questioning what he did in the past life to encounter someone like her. “Hm? I may still have my heart intact.” He said it with an absolute tone, confidence lingering his words. “But that doesn’t mean my life is not troublesome. Grow up, young lady, love is not everything.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

He was a little bit flabbergasted when he heard the sudden change of intonation. She was so cheery and mischievous before. But now he could feel the hair on his nape tingling as he received a glare from the woman. The stranger just sighed and focused on the drink in her hand, staring at it with the same intense glare that he just got.

“Yeah, yeah love is not everything. Even a child knows that.” She scoffed and drank her liquor in one gulp before ordering the same thing again to the bartender. Now she looked stressed, heartbroken — eyes glistening with tears as it almost fell down her cheek. “But he’s everything to me.”

He raised one of his eyebrows when he heard the mumbles that slipped from her tongue. She kept rambling under her breath, saying thanks to the bartender after she got her drink once again, but continued to mutter things. 

Not going to lie, he felt bad now since he thought it was his fault that she cried. If only he didn’t nudge deeper about love, maybe she would just tease him non-stop instead of being a mess like his friend did.

“Hey,” He called out, making her turn to face him. She looked so much in pain, as if needing some comfort, that was what he was sure of as he leaned closer. “I am sorry for being nonchalant. I am all ears if you need someone to vent, okay?” His hand rested on her shoulder, patting it gently, trying to show her that he meant no harm.

She didn’t say anything for the next few seconds. And he could feel himself being awkward now with how the silence ensued. His eyes darted to the restroom, maybe he could excuse himself after this to check out on his friend if she wouldn’t say anything.

“I am in love with this man. He is the definition of perfect.” She spoke up, though her words making him pursed his lips, couldn’t believe that someone could fall in love that deep to the point they called them perfection. “Shin is someone who can keep me grounded, he is like the anchor to my wild life.”

A chuckle slipped from her lips, followed by a little genuine smile. “We are so different, but it makes us complete each other, you know? Just opposite attract thingy~” She looked like a teenager in love, bubbly and rambling about her first love. “Bet if he saw me right now, he would whoop my ass back once we are home — not that I am complaining.”

He shuddered from the suggestive tone that rolled down her tongue, though a little bit amused at how she was so starstruck over this Shin guy. “Ah, no. He… He would not approve this though.” Her voice softened, reminiscing the relationship. “Instead, he would take care of me, changing my clothes gently, tucking me in bed, and preparing some aspirin for me when I wake up the next day.”

From how her orbs glistened with joy, everyone could see how much in love she was with this man she was talking about. “I love him, I am so in love with him. And he loves me too! I know he loves me too. Granny knows that, our friends know that, but—” 

Then came again, the sorrow inside her eyes.

“Like what a wise woman once said to me," She cleared her throat, cleaning it from the alcohol that was coating it before. "Sometimes, love is not enough to save a relationship.”

He hummed, pondering about the sentence. His mind took him back to when he had someone to come home to. How he already fought so hard over it, putting time and effort for them, how even with all the attention and affection that he gave, in the end, it didn’t work out like he wanted to.

Kuroo Tetsurou refused to fall in love — because he knew love was not enough, and trying hard to keep a relationship still wouldn’t guarantee for it to last.

“Yeah.” He patted her back, letting her know that he listened to every word she said. “Relationships are not that simple. You can try to love, you can compromise, but still fail in the end.” He sighed, couldn't believe he let himself think about this too. "But that's just how love is — I guess."

She only snorted and focused back on herself. Maybe feeling a little bit at ease that he finally let out what troubled her. Then she drank her liquor in one gulp, ordering the same thing, again and again as she wallowed herself in sadness. 

Tonight, he didn’t expect to meet someone like her. He was just here to be a good friend and cheering his friend up, letting him drink as much as he wanted. It was late now, almost 1 am. For him, it was late since he had work in just a few hours. His friend was already back from the restroom and decided that it was best to numb himself with drinks.

And now, Kuroo Tetsurou was left with two wasted people.

She was mumbling under her breath with her eyes closed, too low that he couldn’t hear it. While his friend snores so loud that he received an irritation look from the bartender and the few other patrons. Yeah, he had to leave now.

Gently, he picked his friend up, cursing since his friend was almost twice as big as him. Yes, he worked out a lot, but his body was still lean compared to the snoring man that was giggling here and there in his arm. And for sure he didn’t want to know what kind of dream his friend had.

The black-haired man laid his friend on the backseat of his car, locking the door since he still had to pay for the drinks. He almost cried when he heard the grand total. No matter how much money he had right now, he still didn’t like to spend lots in just one night.

He was ready to step out, bringing his friend back home. Though his eyes flickered to the woman who he just met, now still asleep and mumbling under her breath. But something was different — since now she looked like she had a nightmare, gasping with tears streaming down her face. Muttering,

“I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.” Again and again without a pause as if the man that she loved was currently standing in front of her. She finished the apology with a soft, cracked voice. One that made him sighed and paid for her drinks too before taking her to his car.

Kuroo may not know her, but he couldn’t just leave someone who opened up to him about herself. He positioned her on the passenger seat, making sure that she was safe with a seatbelt fastened in front of her body.

He couldn’t leave her there inside the bar, sobbing and crying all alone. She was a woman, with no friends around to protect. Who knows what would happen to her if he left with just his friend.

And of course, he didn’t have the heart to abandon her, not when she was in so much pain, missing the other half of her heart.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” 

He heard you yawn, followed by a loud thud since you rolled your body to the side, making you fall to the ground not knowing that you were still on the couch.

“Fuck!” His laughter spread all over the living room when he heard you curse. One, two, “Tetsu!” Ah, woman. “Why the heck am I still here?!”

You grumbled, standing up with your lips jutted out to the front, didn’t like the fact that you were now sore all over your body. If you were sore because of sex or something, so be it, you wouldn’t complain.

But to have your muscles all tense and bones felt like it cracked just because of you sleeping on the couch? You were not going to shut up about it for days.

“I can’t believe you.” You scoffed and slipped yourself on the island’s stool, glaring at the man who was now cooking some omelet for breakfast. “I told you that sleeping on the couch hurts.”

“Well, I didn’t want to wake you up.” He didn’t dare to turn his head, knowing exactly that you threw a dagger at him with your eyes at the moment. The pressure you put on was real and now he was stalling the moment by lowering the fire on the stove.

"I am a heavy sleeper, Tetsu." You sighed, popping the seedless grape on the kitchen island to your mouth. "You know that. It would be fine if you drag me to the bed or something."

“Ah, sorry. I forgot you sleep like a log.” He smiled sheepishly before finally turning off the stove, placing the omelet into the pristine white plate. “Here you go.” He gently pushed the plate in your direction, thinking that maybe food could bring your mood back to normal.

But no, you grabbed it and ate with your lips still formed in a thin line. You even cut the omelet with force, making a sound that rang in his ear as the stainless steel knife made contact with the porcelain plate, resulting in him to hiss since he didn’t like the sound of it.

Now he knew that you were trying to torture him. You know some annoying sound that made him feel uncomfortable, and this is one of it.

“Hey, now.” He tried to call you out, wanting to make you stop. “(Y/n), oi!” It didn’t make you stop though. Instead, he ended up fueling you even more, making you clang your knife harder to the plate. “I have a gift for you before but now I don’t know if I should give it or not.”

Then you stop moving, lips parted as your eyes meet with his. Gotcha.

“What is it?”

“Like hell I’ll tell you after that little stunt you did.”

His voice sounded mischievous, the smirk that plastered on his face right now just showed how he felt like he won this fight. “I will tell you if you stop pouting and acting like a child.”

You held his gaze for a few seconds there, contemplating if surrendering was the best choice. But you were too curious, he was not really the type to give you something out of the blue. So it must be pretty special — and you wanted to know.

“Alright, alright.” You gently put the knife and fork down, resting both of your hands on the kitchen island. “So? What is it?”

“Hehe,” The black-haired man didn’t say anything, though his hand went to his back, grabbing something from the pocket on his pants. “Here you go!” And he slammed it in front of you, pulling his hand away to reveal the item.

It was just a piece of paper with a metallic print for the text. They finished the whole paper with a glossy coat, making it more resistant to water. Though, the material was not the thing that caught your eyes.

But the text, what emblazoned there was the one that made your eyes go wide.

VIP PASS

TOKYO OLYMPIC MEN’S VOLLEYBALL — DAY 12

Having a boyfriend who worked in the Japan Volleyball Association really intrigued you. Sometimes you would ask here and there about who was the best player at the moment, and even though you wanted to bury your old life behind, you couldn’t help but be proud when a certain setter, middle blocker, and wing spiker was mentioned.

“You like it?” Your body jolted when you heard his question. Muttering a simple ‘Yes.’ as you were still in shock with the gift. “You said you wanted to know the fields that I work in, so I think this will be a good time.”

He walked towards you as you grabbed the ticket, thumbing the smooth surface of the glossy coat. “Let me show you the world that I am in.”

Something tugged at the string of your heart. Volleyball. The said sport had been important to you since Junior High, you couldn’t shake the feelings that started to brim in your heart. You tried to shake it off, but it was still there, screaming out your name.

“What—” You swallowed a huge lump, letting your boyfriend rest his chin on your shoulder as your eyes still focused on the metallic lettering. “What match? What team is it?”

Kuroo hummed softly, nuzzling his head on your cheek, didn't realise how uncomfortable you were at that moment. He didn’t even notice how your voice trembled a little. He was just there, feeling certain that you were excited.

“Japan versus Argentina.”

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[missskzbiased]

Getting a Roommate (7)

Sooo... It’s finally there! The last chapter. 

I would like to thank you all <3 Everyone that read/liked/reblogged/sent me messages you made me really happy! I didn’t think it would be like this so thank you, really!

Lastly, Sorry for the delay. I lost some things, wrote and rewrote a lot of it, grammarly is not working anymore (Ç.Ç) so it may have a lot of mistakes, even though I reviewed it (sometimes I go back at some part to check something and there is a dumb mistake and I end up like ????, so who knows)

Genre:  Fluff, Romance; Sugestive; College Au; Roommate Au; Love Triangle

Pairing: Minho X Reader X Chan

Word Count: ~15,5K

Female Lead

Warnings: Language, Sugestive stuff (?), drunk people, jackass on a bar

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Final)

P.S.: Now I have a Spin off on this for Chan (Linked)

                                                  /////

    There were only four words that could express what you felt when you heard Minho’s confession.

   Four words you never ever thought you would say to him.

   Four words that made you blush in embarrassment.

    “Oh, Really? Okay, cool.” As soon as you said it, you regretted it, especially as Minho stood there, his shut eyes opening slowly to bury into yours. Who the hell would answer a confession in this way?!  

   You.

   “Okay, cool?” He asked dumbfounded and you hid your face behind your hands.

   “I’m sorry, you surprised me” You confessed ashamedly “I did not expect it”

   “Sorry, but did you hear me when I said I moaned your name before?” His voice was amused even though he had just gotten reject. Minho couldn’t believe you were so oblivious to his feelings, but he couldn’t really blame you… He was oblivious to them too not long ago.

   “Well, yeah!” You answered high pitched as you felt all your blood rush to your face “But how would I know you meant you liked me?! I thought you just wanted to bang!” You reasoned, far more nervous than you needed to be. Minho averted his eyes, trying to look anywhere but you.

   “Will you stick to okay cool?” He asked bashfully “Hm… We can just forget it too. Pretend I didn’t say anything. I’m okay with being friends… I’m not a kid or anything… I can take a no for an answer…” He was starting to ramble and you couldn’t focus on him anymore. Minho just said he liked you, just like Chan had.

   You were screwed.

   “Hm… Actually I…” You tried to think something to say, but you were interrupted by an unaware Hyunjin knocking on the door.

   “Hey, Minho? Can you lend me your car?” He asked and you promptly unlocked and opened the door, a fake and tight smile on your face. You never felt more grateful to Hyunjin, which was pretty easy, actually, since he had been an ass for most of your time together “Oh… “ He took your blushed self in, your hair messed up and your clothes wrinkled, landing his eyes on a flustered Minho “I didn’t mean to interrupt” He apologized, ready to turn away and get out of your sight.

   “No!” You yelled at him, making him stop in his track “I was… I was going to… FELIX. Yeah, I totally forgot I had to go to Felix haha! Yeah… Great Felix… He must… Be… Expecting me?” You didn’t really know what you were saying, but you stuck to the fact they were as lost as you. You quickly got out of Minho’s room and entered your own just to pick up some stuff and making your way to Felix’s place.

   You hoped your friend would be there because you would need him.

                                     /////

   It should be no surprise, but your best friend wasn’t really that helpful.

   “No shit!” He uttered, cackling up “Way to go, Y/N!” He added, cheering you like he always did, except that this time he shouldn’t really. Felix was sat on the border of his bed while you were sprawled there, looking at him with a tired expression. Felix was one quite intelligent human being, but sometimes he just seems to miss important things like common sense.

   “I think you’re missing the point here” You sighed and He sprawled himself on his bed beside you, looking at the ceiling.

   “I think you’re missing a damn good opportunity to get laid not once, but twice!” He stated, as you said, not really helpful at all “Chan and Minho are way too hot to pass up! Actually, maybe you could get laid once, but with both of them” He realized, widening his eyes as he turned his head to you, expecting you to acknowledge his idea. You laid there, your face turned to him, your eyes meeting with two different feelings: Excitedeness and Tiredness.

   “I’m serious, Felix!” You whined and he scoffed.

   “You think I’m joking?! Picture it! Two damn hot guys banging you! I would pay for a chance like this!” He sighed, happy with his scenario, and you scoffed.

   “You would pay to bang me? Are you going to say you like me too?” You joked and he pushed your shoulder.

   “No, dummy! I mean it, you really should talk this through with them, you’re so going to regret it if you don’t” He advised and you shook your head, dumbfound.

   “Your way of solving things is out of the box” You stated amazed and he chuckled “I can’t bang them now that I know they like me, can I?” It wasn’t a real question, but Felix answered it anyway.

   “Of course you can! Y/N, think with your lower head for once, really! What’s the matter? You just have to be clear and say you just want to have sex. It’s not that hard” He shrugged, making you sighed.

   “My lower head is not trustworthy! Last time I used it I touched myself to –“ You choked on your words, realizing what you were about to say and Felix widened his eyes.

   “You didn’t!” He shot up, sitting on his bed with his mouth agape “You masturbated to them?! You horny bitch! I can’t believe it! So what is the problem? You clearly want them to fuck you!” Why had Felix to be so… Crude? You hid your face with the pillow and screamed against it, feeling your ears burning as the shame of talking about this crashed on you. He chuckled before you glared at him, moody.

   “You can’t say it to anyone!” You threatened and He laughed.

   “Aish… I was just about to text my friend about my best friend DJ’s life! What am I going to do now?” He feigned to be upset and you slammed his arm, he winced in pain “Ouch!” He pouted, rubbing his arm and looking at you with puppy eyes.

   “Anyway! I don’t like them, so I can’t just fuck them like this” You sighed.

   “Why not? Both of them are kinda fuckboys, right? They fucked a lot of people without feeling anything, okay? I guess the universe is being fair and teaching them a lesson” He wondered. Felix’s mind would never fail to amaze you. Even though He was right about the fuckboys part, it didn’t mean they knew how to handle this when they were the vulnerable ones.

   “Have you ever heard about emotional responsibility?” You asked sarcastically and He arched his brow, giving you an ironic look.

   “I’m not sure... Can you eat it?” He played dumb and you nudged him laughing.

   “I have to take their feeling on account, I can’t just go there and fuck them because I know they would do me” You explained to him, sitting down to mimic him and looking him in the eyes “I wouldn’t like if they just banged me if I liked them, you know? Right now they’re like children… Dumb and helpless, because that’s what liking someone does to you. I can’t take advantage of them like this”

   “Y/N… They’re grown-up asses, you know that, right?” He snorted “I doubt they will hold a grudge against you because you fucked them! Actually, it would be quite the opposite, really” He reasoned “I think you’re worrying too much about this… Are you sure you don’t like them? Aren’t you afraid of being hurt instead of hurting them?” Felix may be weird, but he knew you. You averted your eyes from him and bit your lip.

   “What if I fall for one of them?” You asked unsure and Felix smiled warmly at you, throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer.

   “Then you will be happy with one great guy” He said simply “Chan would be a perfect boyfriend and Minho can be a little bit… Blind to his own feelings, but if he finally acknowledged he likes you, I can only imagine him treating you like the queen you are” You smiled back at him and nudged in his embrace. Maybe your best friend was useful after all.

   “I don’t know if I’m ready to like someone” You confessed unsurely and Felix sighed.

   “Well, I guess we can figure it out if that happens” He shrugged “If they mess with you I will be there to catch you” He smiled to you and you reciprocated it, laying your head down on his shoulder “Just don’t expect me to punch anyone, you know I can’t fight” He added and you laughed.

   “You literally have a black belt” You reminded him, looking in his eyes, your own shaped like crescents as you chuckled.

   “Nah, I just bought it because I liked the color” He joked and you nudged him with your shoulders “But really… I think you should try to know them better or something if you’re not comfortable with banging them now. You know Minho enough, you live with him… If you didn’t like him until now, I don’t think you will get there” He reasoned and you pondered. Well, he did have a point. If you didn’t like Minho all this time, you probably just wouldn’t like him at all.

    “I liked to kiss Chan… That’s for sure” You remembered, blushing “Maybe I should ask him out on a date? We have just been watching movies until now… Maybe I could… I don’t know. Do you know what kind of things he likes to do?” You realized you never really thought about what Chan liked to do, you guys just did things you liked until here.

    “Do you want a filthy answer or a –“ Felix couldn’t finish his sentence as you hit his arm, making him cackle “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” He uttered laughing as he tried to avoid your hits “Chan really likes music… I think his life is all about music, although I remember him saying he did like to go to the beach… Something about being a swimmer kind of guy instead of a ballplayer” Felix wondered.

   “Oh! Going to the beach sounds nice, doesn’t it? It would be a cute date, wouldn’t it?” You asked unsurely and Felix grinned.

   “So applied! What a good girl” He mocked you, talking with a baby voice he knew that pissed you off. You rolled your eyes, but smiled a moment after, laughing at his antics.

   “You’re the worst best friend I ever met” You stated, and He scoffed.

   “Which is pretty impressing, since I’m also the only one you ever met” He retorted and you smacked him again “Stop hitting me!” He whined jokingly and you snorted. It was nice to have Felix close, messing with you, and giving awful advice in the evening. You held his hand and smiled at him. He eyed you confused, expecting what kind of payback you would give him.

   “I’m really happy to have you as my friend” You said sincerely, and He smiled back at you, his eyes beaming.

   “Awn! I love you too” He cooed, hugging you tightly. You feigned disgust and tried to push him away half-heartedly, making him laugh and squeeze you tighter “Too late to take that back, you meanie!” He whined, letting you go and pushing you, making you fall on the mattress.

   “What do you think? Should I call him now?” You asked, just laying there, raising your phone above your face, and searching for Chan’s number. You looked at Felix, unsure “Tomorrow is Sunday… Sunday is a typical beach day, right?” You bit your lower lip and Felix snorted.

   “You do realize that if you ask him to go anywhere, even on his class’s day, he would go with you, right? He said he likes you, Y/N! You don’t have to worry that much” Felix reminded you. He was right. Chan liked you! He had no reason to bail on you… You mustered up your courage and dialed his number.

   “Y/N? What’s up?” His voice sounded on the speakerphone “Do you need anything?”

   “Hm… I was thinking about asking you on a date” You said shyly and Felix grinned at you.

   “Oh? That sounds great!” he answered fast and Felix laughed.

   “She didn’t even say where she wanna go yet, dude!” Felix approached his face to your phone, screaming so Chan could hear him on the other side. You nudged him with your foot, hissing at him. You heard Chan whining embarrassed.

   “I was wondering if you want to go to the beach tomorrow” You stated, more confident now.

    “That sounds great” he laughed, more composed now “It just happens that sometimes I can see into the future, so I kinda knew where this was going” He joked and you giggle.

    “Yeah, sure” You mocked “I will text you the details, okay? Bye!” You said as he hummed in agreement.

    “See? Not that hard” Felix chuckled “He’s so into you” He wiggled his brows and you scoffed.

    As surprising as it could be, your best friend was really useful.

                                                ////

    You could say that later when you arrived home, was pretty weird.

    “Hey” Minho said from the couch, not looking at you. He was stiff, passing through the channels absently. You stiffened too, clearing your throat before giving him a small greeting. You stood there for a few moments, not looking at him, deciding it would be better to go to your room, the awkwardness too much to handle “Are we… Are we okay?” He asked unsure.

   “Of course!” You answered immediately, surprised he even asked “I… I think I own you an apology” You said, and he looked at you, even though he tried to be cool, you could see the hurt under his eyes.

    “No, that’s fine… I get it” He shrugged “You don’t like me. That’s fine! We can be friends, so it’s okay” He smiled. A fake smile. You smiled back, as tense as him “Do you want… To watch something?”He asked unsure and you shook your head.

   “No, not today… I have to go to sleep now” You denied, and he arched a brow.

   “So soon? Why? It’s 12 AM or something, isn’t it?” He asked confused and you averted your eyes, wondering if you should say it. But why wouldn’t you? He understood you were just friends… You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with a friend, right?

    “I have a date with Chan tomorrow” You explained “We’ll leave early, so I thought it would be better if I slept earlier as well” You added.

   “Oh…” Minho tried his best not to show his disappointment, but it was all over his face. His voice sounded upset and you grimaced, worried you hurt him “That’s… Nice. Have a good date tomorrow” He wished half-heartedly, turning back to the TV.

   “Yeah… Maybe we can watch it tomorrow night?” You asked and He nodded.

   “Sure! If I’m free tomorrow night, I’m all yours” He agreed.

    You nodded, going to your room.

    That was… Awkward.

    You laid down on your bed wondering if things would be this awkward from now on. You hoped it wasn’t. You liked to spend your time with Minho, watching TV and chatting, watching him cooking while dancing randomly, hear him complaining about Hyunjin dislike for cats… You didn’t want to lose this. Minho was your friend. A great friend, even if you didn’t know each other for long… Maybe he could even be your second Felix! Who knew?

    Lost in those thoughts you fell asleep.

    You waked up startled with your alarm. Why the fuck did you set that so early?! You turned it down, whining while still sprawled in your bed. You got up unwillingly, wondering why you had to come up with the idea of going to the beach on a Sunday morning. Maybe you should have suggested going at night, watch the sunset or whatever! Why wake up earlier than necessary? It was too late to regret it now, even though you couldn’t stop whining in your head as you took a bath to feel awake.

   When you came out, already on your bath suit and your clothes on, you met Minho wiggling his butt while cooking. You let a chuckle out, and He eyed you, noticing your presence. He stopped his dance before Hyunjin’s voice made its presence.

   “Morning, Y/N!” He said excitedly “Heard you’re going on a date with Chan today” He stated, smiling.

   “Yeah” You agreed nonchalantly. You eyed Minho fixing the breakfast and your eyes trailed back to Hyunjin “Why are you guys up?” you asked curiously.

   “We’re going on a date too” He announced proudly and you shot your brows up.

   “Oh? That’s nice!” You said surprised and He nodded at you.

    “Figured Minho needed a distra—“ He started to say, but Minho glared at him, and he promptly shut up “I mean, figured we both could get back to business”

    “Good for you!” You cheered “I hope you guys have fun” You said sincerely, and Minho frowned, turning back to the pan as Hyunjin grimaced “Hey, are you making some for me too?” You asked smiling.

   “I thought you were going to eat with Chan” He answered “I didn’t make enough for three, sorry” He apologized quickly and you felt your lips twisting down.

    “No! That’s okay… You’re right, maybe we can eat something” You shrugged. You watched as the boys ate their food while you were waiting for Chan. Hyunjin eyed you guilty, offering you a piece of his pancake that you kindly refused. Right on time, Chan rang the bell and you got off the stool, waving goodbye for the boys as you opened the door for him.

   “Hey, babygirl” He smiled at you, taking your hand on his “Ready to go?”

   “Yep!” You agreed, smiling, as you squeezed his hand and closed the door behind you “But I’m starving! Should we stop somewhere to eat something?” You suggested and he nodded.

   “Sounds good to me!” He smiled “Maybe we could buy some stuff to eat on the beach? Make a picnic?”He wondered and you beamed at his idea.

   “That’s great! We can eat as we watch the sea… Sounds lovely!” You smiled, excitedly. He smiled back at you, his dimples showing. He looked so happy right now that you couldn’t help but kiss his cheek, grinning sheepishly “An award for your good idea” You joked.

   “If I knew having good ideas would reward me with your kisses I would have become a genius by now” He sighed mockingly, feigning disappointment as you laughed at him “May I reward you too?” He asked bashfully and you nudged him.

   “Reward me for what?” You asked curiously, and he kissed the tip of your nose.

   “For being cute or something like this” He shrugged and you slapped him softly.

   “What a great award!” You mocked, making him laugh. Your ride to the market was like this, little jokes and soft mocking as you guys made easy conversation. It was good to talk to Chan, the weight of insecurity you had before taken away from your shoulders. You weren’t with him to fuck him randomly, you were getting to know him, and he was pretty nice, just as you pictured him.

    Your way to the beach was filled with music and singing your lungs out, your face turned to the window as you screamed wrong lyrics all the way to the beach, making Chan cackled up. You eyed him singing the lyrics in the right way and scoffed.

   “Oh! We have a mister knows it all here?” You teased him and he scoffed back at you.

   “I’m a musician, babygirl” He reminded you “I think we have a long way ahead if you can’t sing these songs right! I may have to stick around you with teaching purposes, of course,” He grinned slyly as you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief.

   “Smooth” You stated “I have to warn you that I’m not only bad at singing, I also suck on swimming” He looked at you surprised.

   “So why did you ask me to take you to the beach? We could go anywhere else!” You shrugged, turning your face away.

   “I may have asked Felix what you liked to do” You glanced at him to see if he would have any reaction and you could see he was trying to hide a grin, his ears reddening “We’re going on a date, so I figured I could put some effort on making you comfortable” You stated just like he said the first date you had and his grin turned into a smile.

   “I’m always comfortable if I’m with you” He glanced in your way and you tried to hide your smile, resting your chin on your hand and looking at the trees passing quickly outside.

   “Since you want to teach me so many things, we could begin with swimming lessons, hm?” You suggested, “Maybe the first lesson should be mouth to mouth?” You said slyly, and he laughed, shaking his head.

   “And you call me smooth? I may not be a lifeguard but I can certainly try to teach you that” He agreed, and you both laughed at your horrible flirting. You stayed in silence for a while, serious, until you decided to speak your mind. You looked him intensely, he glanced your way curiously “What happened?”

   “I want you to know that… A friend of mine confessed to me recently and it made me wonder if I liked you guys… I think he’s out of question, but it made me wonder if I shouldn’t try it out with you. I’m not sure about my feelings yet. I don’t want to lie to you or anything like that, so I thought you should know” He seemed to think about what you said and he nodded, humming.

   “So Minho confessed to you?” He asked and you let out a surprised gasp.

    “How did you know?!” You asked chocked and he chuckled.

   “It was pretty obvious he liked you” He shrugged “To be honest, I thought you liked him… I’m happy you choose me, even if you’re not sure you like me back. I will try my best, Y/N… I really like you. I think you’re the strangest girl I ever met but in a good way! I like the way you just go around being yourself, not worrying about anything… I like the way you just speak your mind” He confessed, blushing, and you felt your own cheeks heating up.

   “I don’t know what to say” You admitted, averting your eyes. You noticed you had finally arrived at the beach. There wasn’t a lot of people there, although you could see some people running in the sand and playing in the sea. The sky looked beautiful, a literal sky blue standing there in all its glory, some white and fluffy clouds adorning it. Chan parked in the first spot he saw, close enough to the beach, so you wouldn’t be tired from carrying things there. He threw his arm over the back of your seat and grinned.

   “So you can just kiss me” He suggested smugly and you laughed, nudging his shoulder.

    “You flirty bastard!” You accused as he laughed along with you “Can’t believe you’re so bold! Oh my god” You awed, getting out of the car and picking the stuff you bought.

    “Let me carry these for you” He said and you brought the bags closer to your body, frowning.

    “I can carry some bags around” You whined, making him chuckle.

    “I know you can, but I wanna show off, ok?” He rolled his eyes playfully. You firmly held your bags, getting them on your other hand, so he couldn’t pick them up. You averted your eyes and bit your lower lip, grinning slyly before opening your mouth.

    “You can hold this, it’s heavy” You stated as you extended your empty hand in mid-air, glancing at him. Chan cackled up, looking at you in amusement before he grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers.

    “You sly little thing” He scoffed, walking along with you peacefully to the beach. You didn’t think it would be so easy to just do this kind of thing with Chan, but surprisingly it was. You didn’t feel awkward around him as you felt with Minho while flirting, you felt comfortable and normal like he was a longtime friend that just happened to be flirting with you. He started to swing your hands as you walked in the sand, the soft feeling under your feet making you giggle.

    “Do you see that kid over there?” You asked, looking to a family that was happily eating together as a child built something with the sand, focused “Whoever reach there faster wins!” You announced.

   “Win what?” He asked amused and you shrugged.

   “Does it really matter?” Chan chuckled “On three! One… Two… T— Hey! That’s cheating!” You yelled as he sprinted first, letting go of your hand and beating you easily. You ran to reach him and panted, you rested your hands on your knees before eyeing him “Cheater!” You accused, making him laugh.

   “I was counting on my mind, you were just too slow” You hit his arm weakly as he grinned at himself “What’s my prize?”

   “Cheaters don’t get prizes, dummy” You stuck your tongue to him, mockingly, and he sat on the sand, supporting himself with his arms on the sand, his body leaning slightly back “Your loss because I would give you the honor for another date” You shrugged.

   “That’s not fair! We can run again, I will behave this time” He whined looking at you with puppy eyes and a cute pout that made you scoff. You picked up the first snack you saw on the bag and shoved it into his mouth.

   “That’s all you can get now” You feigned a saddened tone, and he took the cookie you shoved into his mouth, eating it happily.

   “That’s okay, I will change your mind later on, and we will have a lot of dates to go” He said as he closed his eyes, taking in the sun. Chan looked angelic under the sunlight, the light breeze on the beach blew some locks of hair randomly, his lips turned upwards, happy to feel the sand under his fingers and the sea breath on his face. He seemed in peace there, like he was home. You liked the sea as well, you even liked to go to the beach sometimes, but you couldn’t relate to this feeling. You sat beside him, hugging your knees as you looked at the sea, enjoying the breeze.

   “You seem to love the beach” You stated. Chan opened his eyes and looked at you, smiling brightly.

   “I do. I always went to the beach with my parents when I was home… I guess being here just cures my homesickness” He agreed, his gaze fixed on the sea as he spoke softly. You took his hand on yours, smiling.

   “Sometimes I get homesick too” You stated “I didn’t really go to the beach or anything like this with my parents, so I just stay at my place though” You chuckled. Chan averted his eyes from the sea to look at you. His eyes seemed deep and loving, focused just on you for a moment.

   “When you feel homesick you can just come to me” He smiled cutely, his dimples showing again and you felt a smile spread on your face “I will be your home” You felt your cheeks heating up at his statement.

   Someone to call home.

   You weren’t really the romantic type. If anyone ever asked, you would say you’re just a friendly and cuddling type, someone who likes to stay with friends and speak your mind up, laugh, play. You never thought about having a real relationship, but Chan was making you wonder. If anything, you hoped the person you would love to be your home… Someone you could always go and stay there, loved, secure… A safe place in this exhausting world.

    “Y/N?” Your name sounded in the air, but it wasn’t Chan’s voice that held it. You saw his eyes looking surprised at the owner of the voice and you followed his gaze to meet Hyunjin, Minho, and two unknown girls “I didn’t know you would be on the beach!” Hyunjin said exaggeratedly excited.

   “That’s because I didn’t tell you so you wouldn’t interrupt it” You mocked him. One thing you could say that Hyunjin excelled was interrupting any alone moment you had with guys. For the last week he managed to do this like a thousand times with you and Minho, so you couldn’t be really surprised to see him interrupting you now, although it was a weird coincidence.

   “Well, that sounds fair since I just interrupted it” He chuckled “Should we make it a triple date then?” He suggested and you looked unsurely at Chan, who didn’t look too fond of this idea but smiled anyway.

   “Why not? Join us” His voice sounded stiff and you wondered if you should just send them away, but you didn’t even need to do this, because soon enough Minho spoke up.

    “Let them be alone, Hyunjin” He said simply “We’ll spoil their date” That being said he started to walk away, his hand resting on the lower back of his date. He didn’t seem too bothered to see you and Chan together. Yesterday he had said he liked you and today he didn’t even bother to see you with Chan which could only mean he misread his own feelings. That was good. If Minho didn’t like you, you didn’t have a reason to be awkward around him. Everything would be fine.

   Chan nudged you when they got far enough, calling for your attention.

   “Wanna learn how to swim?” He asked shyly, making you giggle.

   “Let’s eat first, Ariel” You answered laughing, picking up the food on your bag so you could prepare a sandwich. Chan whined at your joke and stole your sandwich, biting it before handing it back “Ya! It’s mine, you meanie” You whined jokingly before handing it to him with a smile and making another one for you.    

     As you both shared your breakfast peacefully looking at the sea, throwing some comments and jokes now and then, you could only feel yourself getting more and more comfortable with Chan. Maybe you didn’t like him yet, but you certainly could get there. As soon as you finished your food, both of you got in the cold water, splashing it on one another and laughing. It was needless to say the rest of your date went pretty well, even though you didn’t learn how to swim at all.

                                                                        ////

   College could suck sometimes… Like every day.

   You rested your head on your writing desk, sighing heavily as you wished you could just let your assignments rest there by themselves and magically getting done on their own. If you could ask anything to god, you would ask him to do these assignments for you because you couldn’t handle them anymore. Why did your professors need to destroy your life? You would never know. Your complaining loop reached its end when you heard a knock on your door.

   Thank god! Someone to distract you from your responsibilities.

   You opened the door excited, hoping it was Minho keeping up with your movie night.

    Minho had been strange lately… Before he confessed to you, he simply didn’t talk to you, avoided you, and didn’t bring anyone home. Now, he switched the bringing part and couldn’t stop bringing girls home, but still didn’t talk to you. He had been bringing girls one day after another, and he kept himself busy, always ditched you and… Well, it sucked! You could understand if he was hurt or something like this, you know? If he needed time to heal or any shit like that, but he was banging everyone around! He wasn’t hurt! Why couldn’t he be your friend like a normal human being?    

    Besides, bringing girls home every single day was tiring! Well, he must be tired too, if you consider he didn’t stop banging… But that was not the point! You had to put up with the girls he brought home, and they were… Some of them were really mean, just eyeing you on the couch as if you were a piece of trash and you couldn’t help but think “Hey! I live here, sweety! Get the hell out If you don’t like it”, but you didn’t say anything because you were a great roommate. When the girls didn’t eye you like you were a threat, they simply didn’t acknowledge your presence at all, just making out eagerly with him as they tried to get some clothes off until they reached his room. This way or another, it sucked.  

   You couldn’t stop checking your phone now, always worried if he was going to bring some girl out of nowhere and it was tiring. You couldn’t feel happy anymore, it was like you weren’t home. You had to stay tuned all night, worrying you would disturb them when they were actually disturbing you. Even so, you still hoped Minho would just stop this for once and be with you like he used to be.

   You missed him.

   You missed your friend.

   “Hey, your boyfriend is here” Hyunjin said as soon as you opened the door, his thumb pointing to the living room.

   “He’s not my boyfriend” You corrected him out of habit.

    Hyunjin always called Chan your boyfriend even though every time he said it, you disagreed. You and Chan were seeing each other, getting to know each other. You weren’t dating. You heard someone clearing their throat and you stretched your head to see who was next to Hyunjin… It turned out to be Chan, eyeing you funnily.

   “Hey, babygirl” He smiled at you, amused. You made a mental note to kick Hyunjin later, his victorious smile made you wonder why he was so against your “relationship” with Chan. You also had to thank god for sending you an angel since Chan didn’t mind your denial, taking it lightly and jokingly.

   “What are you doing here?” You asked curiously. You didn’t invite him over, and Chan wasn’t really the type to just come to your place out of nowhere. He raised a bag until it was at your eyes level, dangling it in the air.

   “I brought the stuff you let on my car” He explained, giving it to you “I figured it would be strange to give them to you in college since we’re not dating… And I… Kinda wanted to see you” Hyunjin made a gagging sound as he walked away from you making you laugh “I don’t know why you’re still here living with him” Chan rolled his eyes. He wasn’t really fond of Hyunjin yet, still blaming him for the lock incident. Which was his fault, so… Chan was right after all.

   “You’re so soft” You smiled, taking him into your room and locking the door so Hyunjin couldn’t disturb you anymore, you leaned in to give him a peck on his cheek “Hyunjin isn’t as bad as he seems… You will get used to him” You shrugged, throwing the bag on your bed and sitting there “What do you wanna do?” Chan looked at you contemplative.

   “Do you want a cute answer or what’s been on my mind?” He joked, making you chuckle. You stood up from your bed, walking slowly on his way, grabbing his hand and guiding him to your bed. You shoved him, making him fall on your bed, his elbows supporting his body so he wouldn’t be laying there “Y-Y/N?” His voice was trembling, his eyes widened in chock.

   “Maybe you should tell me what’s on your mind…” You let your words hang in the air, your knee getting on the bed right beside his tight, your hand slowly pushing his chest until his back hit the matress. You leaned in, your lips brushing agains his ear as you let your breath fan over there “…Daddy” You felt powerful when he let out a choked groan, his hands snaping to your hips and grabing you firmly, yet cautious.

   “C-Chan…” You didn’t know what you wanted to say. Was it a warning? Was it an invitation? You just felt the need to chant his name, your nails digging in his back trying to hold onto something that made you sane. He didn’t even do anything and you were helpless… You felt your cheeks warming, your neck and chest burning “Kiss me” you demanded.

   “Call me Daddy, babygirl… You don’t want me to punish you” He warned, but leaned in to kiss you anyway. This time his kiss wasn’t gentle nor loving, he kissed you like Minho. His lips smashed into yours, claiming you, dominating you, his tongue explored your mouth eagerly and you felt dizzy with his kiss. He tasted good somehow, he was intoxicating…You let your hand wander on his neck, pulling his hair, making him groan into the kiss. You suddenly felt his hand under your shirt, pulling it up slightly, and you couldn’t help but let a moan escape your lips, breaking the kiss after his hand reached to cup your breast.

   “Daddy, please…” You pleaded. Chan buried his nose on your neck again, breathing in deeply, taking you in, his thumb brushed over your nipple, your voice made your way easily, loudly hanging in the air like a request for more. You felt hot, your clothes suddenly feeling like too much on your body.

   “Please what, Babygirl? Use your words” He ordered and you wished you could answer him, but Hyunjin must have some kind of alarm buried in his damn ass so he could interrupt you every damn time of your life. You heard the knock on your door and let out an exhausted sigh, your anger getting the best of you.

   “Get the hell out of here, Hyunjin!” You yelled, pissed off, but the voice that answered back wasn’t Hyunjin’s… It was Felix’s.

   “That’s what I would say to you, bitch!” He yelled back, making you chuckle. Why? Lord, why you had such inconvenient friends? Why couldn’t you have a single friend that let you fuck or make out in peace? Chan sighed heavily, getting off you and rolling in your bed, his hand left your breast to rub his own face, he was certainly cursing Felix on his head.

   You got up from your bed and opened your door, making sure you didn’t make yourself presentable at all, so your best friend could know he was a son of a bitch that got on your way. Felix took in your messed hair and your wrinkled clothes with a chuckle. What a little prick… He looked at you mockingly and shrugged. You would have to murder him someday.

   “It seems like I interrupted something” His voice wasn’t apologetic, but his expression was a mocking apology that made you want to punch his face “That’s good though! Hyunjin asked me on a date” You choked, coughing so much that Chan had to pat your back, getting out of your bed quickly and worried.

   “What the fuck, man?” Hyunjin uttered “I asked if you wanted to watch a movie with us or something” He corrected and Felix shrugged.

   “Same thing” He chuckled and you rested your hand on your chest, picking up your breath “Anyway, come watch it with us!” Felix grabbed your hand and guided you to your living room, not really letting you choose. Chan followed you both, looking as tired as you. On the couch, Minho waited expressionless, eating popcorn and looking at something on TV.

   “Oh? You’re free tonight?” You asked surprised and Minho looked at you, arching his brow.

   “Yeah, Hyunjin said he wanted a movie night, he was jealous because I wasn’t paying attention to him” Hyunjin groaned, pissed at his friends and you let out a chuckle. So, Minho could speak normally to you! Okay, that was good news. You sat beside him, smiling, but he didn’t smile back at you, he simply looked to Hyunjin, expecting what he would say.

   “What about a horror movie, hm?” Hyunjin suggested, grinning suggestively.

   You weren’t really fond of horror movies, but you nodded anyway, patting the seat next to you so Chan would sit there. He promptly sat next to you, throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer, as you brought your knees up, allowing Hyunjin to sit on the floor, his back on the couch. Felix went to Hyunjin’s left and sat on Minho’s feet, getting a whine from the older boy that he promptly ignored, unbothered.

   “You can rest your feet on mine” You said to him, smiling.

   “Thank you, kitty” He smiled back, pilling his legs with yours, and you felt Chan tense up under you. You bitten your lower lip, wondering if Chan was upset with your nickname, you figured it would be strange if Minho kept calling you like this… You looked at him with an apologetic smile this time.

   “I think it’s better if you call me by my name for now…” You muttered but you knew he listened because he shot you a hurt expression before pulling a composed one.

  “Sure” He muttered back, averting his eyes from you. Hyunjin cleared his throat, surfing through the movies option not paying attention to anything, making Felix scoff.

  “Are you sure you want a horror movie, Hyunjin? You look afraid to read the synopsis” He mocked, getting a groan from Hyunjin “Here, let me choose it” Felix demanded, taking the controller and picking up a movie he thought would scare you all.

  It didn’t.

  The movie sucked. It was like any other horror movie you ever watched: Some shitty stubborn ghost dragged some random people into their business, blaming them for something they didn’t even know that happened and tormenting these poor people. These people were also dumb and couldn’t get a damn clue they were going into some shitty thing and keep doing things that drag them even more into the ghost’s issue and all of them ended up dying or miraculously getting away from the shitty they buried themselves into.

   Boring.

   You didn’t have other options though, so you kept watching it with a bothered expression, covering your ears now and then so you wouldn’t get startled by the jump scares. Everything was going fine until you felt Chan’s hand hovering on your waist, his thumb gentling rubbing circles on your skin, making you shiver. You bit your lower lip as his hand gotten under your shirt, caressing your belly and making you chuckle.

   Perhaps it was the chuckle but Minho sensed your change of mood, glancing at you and seeing Chan’s hand under your shirt. He wished it could be him. He noticed your tensed figure, trying to keep everything in low profile, even though Chan wasn’t actually doing anything yet, and he clenched his teeth when Chan whispered something on your ear, making you shiver and close your eyes in delight. Minho could only imagine what if it was him… Would you close your eyes like that? Bit your lips like that? Grab his thigh like that? Expose your neck like…    

   His train of thoughts was interrupted by a kick on his crotch.

   “Whatafuc-“ He hissed, his hand snapping to his crotch while you widened your eyes.

    So… You may have a horny Chan caressing you not so innocently, and you may have not paid enough attention to your surroundings. This time when the jump scare came you were too into controlling your breath and concentrating in Chan’s hand trailing to your thighs and you may or may not have had a fucking heart attack when the ghost jumped in the screen out of nowhere, startling you so much that you kicked Minho.

   Right in his crotch.

   “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You cried, getting off Chan and kneeling on the couch, your hand snapped to his crotch without further thinking, worried you had injured him for real. He wouldn’t get a fucking child! Did he want to be a father? Well! Even if he didn’t, he should be able to keep his balls… Your thoughts faded when he moaned under your touch “Oh, god, sorry!” You whined, getting your hand off him and cursing yourself.

   Who the hell just grab people’s dicks around?!

   You felt your cheeks flushed and snapped your eyes to Chan, worried.

   “I didn’t mean to grab his dick!” You uttered, making Felix and Hyunjin cackle up while Minho curled up and hid his lower half, his hand cupping it as his face contorted in pain and embarrassment. Chan waved his hand shrugging it off with a chuckle “Are you okay? I’m so, so sorry!” You said as you turned back to Minho, grabbing his face and looking him in the eyes, the tears prickling his eyes as he tried to smile at you.

   “I’m fine, that’s fine” He assured you, but his voice said otherwise.

   Hyunjin took advantage of the moment to suddenly get up and turn off the TV, resuming the movie night. “I guess the mood is ruined” He shrugged, making Felix scoff “Let’s just give up on the movie night, what a shame” He feigned a saddened tone.

   “You’re saying it because you were scared” Felix stated, making you laugh “But I guess he’s right… Minho just got hit on the dick, I don’t think he wants to keep watching this and it’s getting late for Chan” You two looked at Chan, who seemed fine with it.

  “Well, I’m driving, but I guess it’s better to give up” He agreed, chuckling at Hyunjin relieved self “Wanna a ride home, Felix?”

   “Oh, no! Thanks. I’m sleeping here tonight” He refused and you shot your brows up looking at him “Is that okay, Y/N?”

   “Of course! You can crash here whenever you want! I just got surprised” You laughed, waving your hands to dismiss the thought he could bother you, as you laughed, shaking your head, you could see in the corner of your eyes Chan eyeing you, and you looked at him, smiling. You didn’t know what he was expecting, but he stood there a few seconds, looking at you expectantly before clearing his throat.

   “So… I guess I’m going…” He seemed unsure “Bye” He waved at you, looking really uncomfortable. You guessed he was probably shy because the other guys were there too, so you approached him, gave him a peck on his cheek, and opened the door, waving him goodbye before closing the door. Felix smiled at you sympathetically, making you frown, and both of you helped Hyunjin clean up everything while Minho excused himself.

   “So…” Felix said as soon as you came into your room “You didn’t invite him to stay the night” He stated before you shrugged it off, frowning confused as you couldn’t understand why he sounded like he pitied you.

   “He would have to sleep on the couch… It’s way better if he went home” You pointed out “He doesn’t like Hyunjin, so he wouldn’t sleep with him… I don’t think he would be comfortable sleeping with Minho and you’re sleeping with me” You added.

   “I could sleep on the couch” He suggested, making you scoff.

   “As if! You don’t let me sleep on the couch on your place, there’s no way I would do that to you” You said firmly, getting a chuckle from him.

   “I could sleep with Hyunjin or Minho” He reminded you. Well, that was true, but it didn’t even cross your mind…You couldn’t get Felix’s point, though. Why did he look like he knew something you didn’t? He crossed his legs, what made him look like some kind of wise man, and you frowned at him, feeling uncomfortable as you sensed he would come up with something.

   “So what? It’s not a big deal” You shrugged “He’s already gone anyway” Before you could say anything else, Felix sighed and looked right into your eyes.

   “I think you should stop seeing Chan” He stated seriously.

   What?

   “You want me to date Minho?” You asked surprised and Felix shot his brow up, looking at you in disbelief.

   “You do realize that you can live without dating them, right? I don’t think you like Chan and I don’t think you will, Y/N… Do you like him?” He looked serious like he had been thinking about it for some time, and you knew you couldn’t lie to him… Especially if he seemed so serious about this, so you bit your lower lip and sat beside him, shaking your head.

   “No, not yet…” You confessed “But I do think I can like him! He’s really sweet, Felix… I’m loving to spend time with him, it’s been amazing! And today… Wow… Before you interrupted us” You eyed him upset, making him chuckle “I wasn’t even thinking about anything, I wasn’t feeling insecure, I felt he would love me like I wanted to be loved” You stated, your voice soft as you remembered all the time you spent with Chan recently.

   “It’s not love, Y/N” Felix said sadly “You like to spend time with me too, don’t you? You think I’m amazing…” He grinned at that and you pushed him playfully, laughing, “I think you see him as your friend. A good friend. Not as good as me, of course, because, please! He won’t ever beat me” He sounded cocky and you couldn’t help but cackle up, agreeing “But Chan likes you… I don’t think he deserves this”

   “You were the one who said I should date him!” You accused, making him snort.

  “No! I was the one who said you should fuck him. I did think you should get to know him, but you already spent time with him, didn’t you? Even if it’s not too much time, I think it’s obvious you don’t feel anything for him. When you like someone you want to spend every second with them… You didn’t even think twice before sending him home, Y/N, while he stood there hoping you would invite him” His voice was so serious you didn’t even think it belonged to Felix.

   He was right, you didn’t even think about inviting him, but you didn’t spend so much time with him either. What if you started to like him? You wondered if you would like Chan someday. Would he be the one you wanted to call home? He certainly could be. He was so perfect! He didn’t have any flaw that made you think about rejecting him… Maybe if you dated a little bit longer…

    “Are you sure you don’t like Minho?” Felix asked cautiously and you shot him a surprised look.

    “Why would you ask that?” You asked suspicious of him “Do you think I like Minho? I don’t think I like him more than I would like Chan” You denied “And I don’t think he likes me either, he’s bringing girls every day, fucking them every day too, I guess. I think he misread his own feelings”

    “I think you’re dense” Felix laughed “He likes you, that’s for sure, and I think you may feel something for him… You grabbed his dick today, Y/N, I don’t think that’s normal” You whined, hitting him with your pillow.

    “It wasn’t my intention! I grabbed it out of reflex!” You complained, making Felix laugh.

   “What kind of reflex is that?!” He joked, laughing out loud as he wiped a tear “I don’t know… You always invited Minho to do stuff with us, but you never did this to Chan, you’re always complaining he doesn’t spend time with you anymore… I’m not on your mind, but I would bet Minho have been in there much more than Chan have”

   You hated to admit it, but he was right.

   You have been thinking about Minho a lot, but it didn’t mean you liked him.

   He has been ditching you and ignoring you, so of course you would be complaining about him. He was your friend, so it felt natural to invite him to spend time with you and Felix, who was your friend too, but Chan wasn’t your friend back then, he was just someone you knew… Now you were going out on dates with him, why would you invite him to spend time with you and Felix? It didn’t make any sense.

    “I don’t like Minho” You stated “I may not like Chan yet, but I certainly don’t like Minho”

    “It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself” You looked him in the eye, feeling upset. Why couldn’t he understand you didn’t like Minho? Felix was smart and he knew you as no one did, so he should understand what you were feeling, what you were thinking.

   You weren’t in denial, you just didn’t like him.

    “It sounds like you want me to like him” You retorted, frowning “Are you trying to get me to choose Minho?” Felix shook his head, looking pretty sincere to you, but was he? It did look like he was trying to make you choose him.

    “I’m trying to help you figure it out, Y/N. You can’t keep dating Chan if you don’t like him, and you know it! He likes you, Y/N. He really does. I think you should step back, because he won’t do it… He wants you to like him, he needs it. If you don’t like Minho, that’s fine too. You can be alone, you don’t need to date neither of them” He said worried “To me, it sounds like you want to date Chan because if you don’t, you won’t have a reason to not look at Minho and you think He’s already over you”

    It hit you like a slap.

    Felix thought you were using Chan.

    Your best friend thought you were using someone.

    “I… I can’t believe it” You were dumbfounded “You think… You think I would do this, Felix? I thought you knew me better” Your voice held disappointment, and you felt your chest tightening as you looked in his eyes to see a defeated Felix in front of you.

   “I’m not saying you’re doing this on purpose, Y/N” He reassured you “I’m saying that I don’t think you like Chan and you’re using him, even if you don’t realize it”

   “I won’t use him! I will like him” You assured and Felix snapped.

   “You don’t have to like him, Y/N!” He yelled at you, getting you startled “You should like him because you feel it! It’s not a decision you can take, for lord’s sake!” He uttered, tired. You felt tears prickling your eyes and he sighed, hugging you “Sorry… I’m worried, Y/N. I know you won’t forgive yourself if you hurt Chan… And I know you will, because you don’t love him, and he loves you” He rubbed your back and then patted it, trying to calm you down “I’m afraid you get into it just to lose your time and then twenty years after you realize you made a mistake… Chan is a perfect boyfriend for you, but it doesn’t mean you have to like him. That’s not how the heart works”

    You didn’t know when Felix got so wise, but you knew he was right. You didn’t like Chan and you would try to like him because you felt you needed to like him… You would hurt yourself and him, and then you would blame yourself for everything. You sighed in defeat. You should listen to him, Felix knew what he was talking about, he knew you.

    “I know…” You agreed, tired, tightening the hug “I guess I really wanted to have someone, you know? It felt good to be loved, Felix! I want to like him back, I really do” Felix kissed your hair, humming in acknowledgment “But I don’t… I know I don’t… And I don’t know if I will” You sighed, feeling defeated. It was hard to admit it, but you knew it was the truth. Felix seemed satisfied that you were facing it, but you felt lost.

   And now what?

   “You should think about your feelings toward Minho” He said suddenly “I know you said you don’t like him, but I’m not so sure, Y/N… You looked so tired all this time he was ignoring you. It’s like you’re out of your battery, like he’s your charger” You scoffed. Felix was such a helpless romantic.

   “I’m tired because my friend has been ignoring me, Felix, not because I like him” You reasoned, letting out a yawn “Let’s sleep, I’m tired… I will talk to Chan tomorrow” You promised. Felix nodded, laying down on your bed, promptly cuddling you.

   “Sorry if I hurt you” He muttered, pulling you closer “You know I love you, I’m just worried about you, I can’t help it… What will I do if my little sister gets hurt?” He said mockingly, referring to your height difference, a joke he always used against you, and always awarded him with a kick.

   “I love you too, Lix” You said, nuzzling in him “I guess if your little sister gets hurt you will have to cuddle her and feed her with ice cream while we watch Barbie movies” You stated, making him laugh.

   “I hope you never get hurt” He joked and you pushed him lightly.

                                                        ////

   You couldn’t believe it.

   After everything you said to Felix last night, there you were looking at Minho cooking something, his wiggling butt side to side as he played some pop music on his phone, and feeling yourself warming up at it.

    That was it.

     You felt your heart warming by a ridiculous butt dance.

     You could say anything you wanted right now, but you would never convince yourself it wasn’t suspicious. His voice sounded funny as he sang the song, clearly missing a lot of parts and pronouncing everything wrong, but having fun while doing it… Just like you like to do when you listened to music. It was a silly thing and you knew it, but what could you do? You found it cute. You hated the thought that hovered around your mind right now.

     It felt like home.

    You remembered how your father used to cook your breakfast before school, his awful singing while he tried to make you laugh in the morning, making some silly dance moves that never failed to make you grin at him, trying to copy his dance before you kissed his cheek. Your mother would come in the kitchen and see you both doing this with a chuckle, making some coffee so she could feel awake enough to work. She even joined you from time to time, hugging you by your waist and grabbing your arms, shaking them out of rhythm.

    It was funny because for most of these days, as you danced on the kitchen with them, Felix would just appear out of nowhere, opening the door of your apartment because he had the keys, and laugh out loud saying “Shake that booty!” Felix uttered, hyped.

    Yeah… Exactly like this.

   Felix entered the kitchen shaking his leg and wiggling his butt along with Minho, making him realize your presence and smile bashfully “She has danced way worse than that, you can keep the dance” Felix joked, looking at you in bliss, probably remembering your childhood but he sensed something was wrong when he saw your face, because he buried his eyes on yours and let out a small “Oh” followed by a sly grin.

   He knew it.

   “Shouldn’t you be dancing too, Y/N? Where is his kiss on the cheek? That’s not what you dad taught you” Felix was a son of a bitch… How could you be his friend for so long? Minho didn’t get the joke, looking at you confused, obviously, and you sighed in defeat.

   “My dad used to dance in the kitchen and I always kissed him on the cheek” You explained briefly, his eyes shining in comprehension “So… What are you cooking?” You tried to change the subject, and Minho smiled proudly.

    “Kimbap” He answered happily “My mother always made this for me when I was feeling tired or sick, so I figured it would be a good breakfast after a hurtful accident” He joked, making you whine embarrassed. Why did you have to kick his crotch?! You noticed Felix’s grin widening, looking at you in mock silence.

    “That’s funny, it’s Y/N’s favorite dish” His tone was so suspicious you couldn’t see Minho not sensing Felix’s hints “It’s almost as you were made for each other” He added, slyly smiling at you and then at him.

    You choked, your coughing worrying Minho to the point he came to you with a glass of water in his hands. You took it gratefully and shot a glare to Felix, mouthing a silent “What the fuck?!” to him, that just pretended he didn’t see it and laughed, going sit on the stool. You should just kick it and watch him fall in pain… You narrowed your eyes, pondering the idea but you were interrupted by Minho.

   “I think she’s more Chan’s type, though” He stated, going back to the kitchen when you stopped coughing. Well… You deserved it. After all this time being ignored by him, the first thing he said to you willingly was that you belonged with Chan. He didn’t look hurt at all, so you figured he just really thought so, and it made it worse. It was obvious that when you sorted out your feelings, it would be too late. You weren’t even surprised. Felix’s smile turned in a frown and you grimaced at him, shrugging it off.

   “It may be because Chan actually had the guts to show his feelings” Felix muttered under his breath, making you gasp. Your eyes shot to Minho, who turned slowly in Felix’s direction, an upset frown in his face “Maybe he wouldn’t be her type if he kept complaining he l—“ Felix was interrupted by an alarmed Hyunjin that looked sleepy, but worried. Was Hyunjin an expert in interrupting things? It did look this way.

   “What’s for breakfast?!”He asked in a high pitch tone and you figured the three of them knew something you didn’t.

    Felix was being strange yesterday mentioning Minho over and over again… And it was kinda suspicious how Hyunjin and Minho just showed up on the beach when you had your date with Chan… Hyunjin called Felix out of nowhere to watch a movie and Minho suddenly wasn’t with a girl… It could be a lot of strange coincidences, but it also could mean they were up to something.

    “Kimbap” Minho answered him with a serious tone, looking strangely at Felix, and you could see Hyunjin mouthing something to them, but you couldn’t read his lips. Felix cleared his throat, getting quiet as Hyunjin sat beside him with a tight smile, pretending to be relaxed, and Minho just resumed his cooking, bringing the food to the stand and placing it there, sitting on his stool and eating moodily.

   “Did Chan tell you about the performance they will be having this Friday?” Felix broke the silence, you chewed your food while trying to remember if he did.

   “No, not that I recall… We didn’t talk much yesterday” You admitted and Felix chuckled “Why?” You added afterward, blushing under the boys' gaze.

   “I guess he wanted to invite you as a special guest” You noticed his look to Minho, like he was suggesting something. Were you crazy or Felix was testing Minho? You narrowed your eyes at them, curious about what they were hiding, but your suspicious got lost on your mind as you felt a kick under the table.

   “Ouch!” You hissed at Hyunjin, who widened his eyes and smiled sheepishly at you “What the hell, dude?”

   “Sorry… Spasm” He trailed off, Felix’s laugh sounding on the kitchen “Anyway, I think we all should go together!” Hyunjin stated hurriedly.

   “I didn’t know you like 3RACHA” You said surprised, making Hyunjin laugh.

   “I didn’t know them, but Minho showed their songs to me and I liked it… It’s always good to go out anyway, I can hook up with someone” It was such a Hyunjin’s type of answer… You grimaced at him, wondering if he liked something that wasn’t horny related and gone back to eat, looking at Felix.

   “Well… I don’t know if he will want me to go…” You said worried and Felix shrugged it off.

   “Of course He will! He’s not like most guys that just pretend you don’t exist out of nowhere because he’s hurt” He grimaced at Minho. Okay… So Felix may be angry at him because of his ditching, what would explain his odd behavior for the morning. You eyed Minho, who seemed pissed off at Felix remark, and heard Hyunjin clearing his throat uncomfortable.  

    It was officially an awkward breakfast.

   You decided it was enough for now, and stood up suddenly, excusing yourself as you went back to your room, so you could change your clothes. You had called Chan as soon as you woke up and asked him to meet you at the Coffee Shop near the Music Department before you had your classes. When you came back to the living room, the guys eyed you confused, except for Felix, who knew what you were up to.

    “Aren’t your classes like… An hour from now?” Hyunjin asked looking at the time “Won’t you wait for a ride?”

   “I’m going to meet Chan” You explained, going to the door “I suppose you’re going with them for your classes, Lix” You said looking at him as you unlocked the door, getting a nod from him “Okay, then! Bye guys~” You waved your hand as you let them there, locking the door and going to the bus stop.

    Your ride was quite pleasant, even though you were feeling nervous. How would he react? You hoped he took it lightly because you didn’t want to hurt him. As soon as you arrived at the Coffee Shop you looked around, searching for Chan, but you didn’t find him, which wasn’t surprising since you were a little bit early. You waved at Jeongin, who was working there today and went to your favorite couch, sitting there and waiting.

    Maybe it was the wait, but you were starting to freak out.

    You started to rehearse what you would say, trying to focus your mind on something so you wouldn’t begin a worrying loop about what Chan would do. Was he gonna be upset at you? Was he gonna be okay? Maybe he didn’t even like you that much! No… You were sure he did. Maybe you should say nothing! Was it that bad to keep seeing him? Yes, of course, it was.

   You sighed.

   Count on someone to sort out your life and you were screwed!

   And when you say someone you mean yourself, really.

     How the hell could you be so bad at it?! It should be easy! You just needed to say you thought about everything and you saw you didn’t like him and couldn’t lead him on like that. Easy peasy. Your heart didn’t seem to agree with it, because it was racing as if you were going to propose to him. You heard the tinkling sound that announced someone had come in and you looked straight at the door, following Chan with your eyes. He searched around until he saw you sit down and approached you, a big smile on his face.  

    “Hey, babygirl” Chan leaned on and pecked your lips… That was all it took to your brain to turn into pudding. You stood there expressionless, thinking about how you could say to someone that just pecked your lips and called you babygirl that you weren’t interested.

    “Ha! What’s up?” You couldn’t say you were smooth, but it did get a result. Chan frowned, sensing your awkwardness “I have to tell you something, Daddy” Could someone stop you from being dumb? Probably not.

    “Are you okay?” He asked cautiously “You seem… A little out of character” He stated, worried. Great! Now he knew you were freaking out.

   “I’m fine! Totally fine! I never had been so fine in my whole life, really… Fine” Why didn’t you ask Felix to come with you so he could slap your face and get you out of here with some dignity? You should rely on your friends! “What did you want to talk about?”

   “It was you who… Called… Me… Are you sure you’re okay? I think you’re kinda nervous” He pointed out. He eyed you funnily, trying to figure out what was happening in your brain, but he couldn’t! Because you couldn’t give a good hint. You sucked.

   “Oh, right” You agreed, just to be in silence for a couple of seconds “I know we’re not dating, but… I… I suck at this, oh my god” You sighed, your hand rubbing your face.

   “You don’t like me” He stated, smiling at you sympathetically and you whined “It’s okay, Y/N… I know you don’t” He assured you, resting his face on his hand, his elbow on the couch “I hoped I could make you like me back, but I guess I wasn’t good enough” He sighed, his smile disappearing. He was clearly sad and you promptly held his hand.

   “No! You were more than enough! You’re perfect, Chan… You’re really are, but my heart is dumb” You reassured him, making him laugh.

   “Your heart isn’t dumb, you are” He joked and you kicked him “I’m kidding, I get it. It’s not meant to be, it’s fine… We can still be friends, right? Like… I really like you as a person, I would like to keep in touch, go to the beach, teach you how to swim for real this time” He laughed, making you chuckle “See you in my performances, even if you’re just wasted there screaming that I’m hot” He mocked you and you groaned.

   “Oh my god! Let it go” You pleaded, laughing at him “And sure, I would love to be your friend! Although I will probably refrain to call you a hot Daddy from now on” He cackled up at that, nodding.

   “Fair enough” He said as he got up “I think I’m going now… Don’t really think I can start this friendly thing right now, let me suffer a little bit” He joked “We’re performing this Friday if you wanna come… Until then I will be getting over it so we can be real friends” He smiled at you and even though he tried to make you feel better, you could see he was feeling down. You smiled back, nodding, watching as he went out. It was okay, You could wait for him to feel comfortable with you, and It went way better then you expected!

                                                                       ////

   You should have known being alone with Felix would be insufferable from now on.

   “You’re so pretty tonight… Are you trying to impress someone?” He said suggestively, making you roll your eyes “For someone who didn’t like him, you looked whipped” He continued, and you sighed, checking yourself out one last time before deciding you were satisfied with what you were seeing on the mirror.

    “I didn’t like him before, okay?” You looked at Felix in defeat “It’s just… What can I do if I just woke up and it hit me like a truck?” You whined, making Felix laugh.

    “When I looked at you, I was so surprised! It looked like that time I let you have the last slice of my cake and you were so overwhelmed that you just stood there looking at me” He chuckled at the memory, and you couldn’t help but laugh “But you’re wrong… Nobody just wakes up one day and fall in love with someone out of nowhere, there are always signs, Y/N… Little things that this person does that come to your heart until you just realize it one day”

   “You’re so cheesy, Felix… You’re turning into a poet” You laughed “Anyway, I will be telling him soon, so you don’t have to be on my tail, ok?”

   “Oh? You’re gonna confess?” He asked surprised.

   “Well, yeah. He did it before, right? It doesn’t make any sense for me being shy about it now… If he moved on, that’s it” You shrugged.

   “He didn’t move on, he’s just an idiot” Felix rolled his eyes “He has been seeing women so he can forget you, he’s just dumb! He had the courage to say you’re Chan’s type! Right in front of me and Hyunjin” Felix laughed like it was a great joke, but you didn’t get it. You arched one brow, confused.

  “What’s the big deal?” Felix bit his lower lip, pondering if he should say something “I noticed you were riled up, but I didn’t want to mention it, I was hoping you would share your thought with me later” You confessed, making him sighs in defeat.

   “He has been whining about your choice all this time” Felix explained “Hyunjin is almost begging you to do him, he can’t handle Minho’s complains anymore” He laughed, remembering a funny situation that he wouldn’t share with you “To tell you the truth… I and Hyunjin were trying to give him some chance to do something about it, trying to put you to on the same place since Minho has been ditching you, but he’s a stubborn little shit” Felix looked so done, his expression morphing into a frown “I don’t even know why I was helping him, really! I should have let him suffer alone”

   “Wait up” You put your hand on your hips, challengingly “You’re telling me you were trying to set me up and didn’t tell me a damn thing? Felix where is our friendship at this point?” You feigned hurt, making him scoff and roll his eyes “So I was right! I thought you were being suspicious, but then I dismissed it because you wouldn’t be doing anything behind my back” You shot him a pointed look, accusing him silently.

   “I think you’re missing the point here, Y/N!” He uttered, laughing at your pouting expression “I didn’t know if you would like Chan, so I wanted to make sure you didn’t overlook Minho, okay? You should be thanking me” You cackled up, shaking your head in amusement “Anyway, you’re missing two points, actually! You’re pretending I didn’t just say he likes you” Your smile faded away, giving way to a shy grin and a blush, making Felix squeak excited.

  “That’s irrelevant, I would confess to him anyway” You shrugged, but Felix could see right through you fake badass attitude, scoffing at you and throwing his arm around your shoulder, head locking you softly.

   “You’re cute when you try to lie to me, Y/N” He mocked you, guiding you to his front door so you guys could go and wait for the boys outside “I can see you’re excited, you can’t even wait to tell him you like him, can you? Oh god! Your chastity vow will finally end!” You pushed him, whining at your best friend. It would be so much easier if Felix was a normal guy instead of a bitch.

   “If you try to put me on the spotlight, I’m gonna end you” You threatened, but he laughed at you, asking what did you take him for. You felt the urge to laugh in his face, but you put a composed expression on your face as you grimaced “As a son of a bitch” You stated, making him pout.

   When you both got out of the building, the car was already there. To your surprise, it wasn’t Minho who was driving, but Hyunjin, that looked cockily at you, proud of his outfit. He was especially hot today, but you wouldn’t say it to him, so you feigned a disgust expression to his smug grin, making both of you laugh, and sat on the back seat while greeting them. Felix got in the car right after you, greeting them normally, and you thought for a moment he would be a good friend and stay silent, but, of course, he couldn’t.

   You should have known better.

   As soon as you got yourself at the window, looking outside after your small greet to both of your roommates, Felix noticed Minho seemed down and nonchalantly. He was probably ignoring you like he had been doing for the past weeks. Now that you knew he was doing this so he could move on, you didn’t really pay attention to his behavior, choosing to wait for a better moment when you could just tell him what you felt. Felix didn’t seem too fond of the silence though, so he decided to break the ice in a suspicious way that made you narrow your eyes immediately.

   “What a beautiful night, hm?” It wasn’t like Felix to try to lighten up the mood with a weather comment, so you knew he was up to something “Look like the perfect night for lovers” You shot him a glare, upset he was like this, but he just grinned at you. You could see on the rearview mirror that Hyunjin and Minho frowned, confused by that random sentence, and you sighed.

   “Well, I guess Hyunjin will have a good night, then” You said in a warning tone, threatening your friend in silence, but he just ignored you.

   “Yeah… Hyunjin” he agreed with a sly grin.

   Oh god, you should have killed Felix back home, so you would have another best friend by now.

                                                            ////

  Minho was wasted.

  At first, all of your friends just ditched you for different reasons.

   Hyunjin quickly got on his mission to hook up with someone, disappearing as soon as you got there; Minho avoided you, picking up a drink and fading away so you didn’t even have a chance to talk to him; and Felix just complained Minho was a coward and started to look for him, leaving you by yourself. You stood there, on the bar, watching as the guys set up their equipment before Chan noticed you and waved in your direction, which you responded with a bright smile, happy he seemed fine.

   You caught a glimpse of Hyunjin now and then, going around the place and flirting with girls nonstop but Felix and Minho were nowhere to be seen. It had been around twenty to thirty minutes when Felix finally reappeared, pulling a drunk Minho with him. Felix looked exhausted and drunk but Minho looked wasted. He usually walked like royalty; he had sharp movements that made him look cool anywhere but now he walked like… Well, a drunk man. He was kinda curled up, but not really, his head seeming too heavy for him since he just let it hang there and shot it up just so he could let it drop again, chuckling at nothing.

   Oh god, he was so wasted…

   “What did you do to him?!” You hissed at Felix, but he didn’t answer you, looking a little bit lost at your words, as if he couldn’t really understand anything right now, your words sounding like a whir on the back of his head. Great. You had a drunk best friend and a wasted crush with you, and Hyunjin was nowhere to be seen right now. Just perfect.

   “You did me” Minho’s tongue was slurring and he staggered in your way, throwing his hand around your shoulders “Y/N… Dump Chan, be mine” He asked before resting his forehead on your shoulder, hugging you loosely. You felt the urge to laugh, he was ridiculous. Was that how you looked when you were drunk? You patted his back, sighing.

   “We will talk when you sober up, okay?” You said softly, and he hummed in response, even though you didn’t think he understood you at all. Minho nuzzled in you, tightening his grip and leaving a soft kiss on your neck, where his nose was closer to, making you shiver, it wasn’t a bold move on you, he was just being loving and you thought it was cute, even though it would be even cuter if he was sober… But anyway, now was too late for that.

   “Hug me, you’re not hugging me” He whined and you cackled up “Not funny, don’t play with me!” He broke away from you, but you couldn’t stop laughing, looking at his pouting and childish behavior.

   The poor boy wasn’t on his best state of mind, whining at you because you didn’t hug him when you were just literally hugging him tightly. So Minho was the childish drunk… You couldn’t help but pinch his cheek, chuckling, but he got angry at it, trying to go away.

   “No, come back!” You yelled so he could hear you, but you were stopped by a random guy grabbing your arm. Oh, great… That was exactly what you needed “Let go, dude” You said simply, your eyes burying into his in annoyance, but the guy didn’t get the clue.

   “Don’t waste your time on guys like this, sweety, I can make you feel way better” He whispered in your ear, making you upset. You tried to pull your arm away, but he held it firmly, so you tried it again and again, but he just didn’t loosen his grip. You heard Minho’s mumbling with a really upset tone but you didn’t even have the time to look at him before a punch was thrown on the random guy face.

   You turned back startled, just to see an annoyed Felix behind you.

   “Take your hands off her, you shit” He uttered, angry as you never saw him. You gulped down, the last thing you needed right now was a drunk Felix kicking and punching people around him. You tried to grab his arm and lull him but another hand grabbing your shoulder was enough for Felix snapping back, punching the other guy in a blink of an eye.

   The second boy was Minho.

   Holy shit…

   You sighed heavily, rubbing your face tired and looking around, expecting to see Hyunjin near because of the commotion. Luckily, Hyunjin was close and grabbed Felix, trying to calm him down, as you helped Minho stand and shot an apologetic look at Chan, who looked at you surprised. Why every time you went to his perform things went in a strange path? Minho leaned on you as you tried to get him outside. Hyunjin just got Felix on a stool, trying to talk to him and put some sense on his head… You would have to trust Hyunjin on this one.

   As you made your way through the crowd and out of the place, you let Minho lay on a bench outside. He was rubbing his cheek, probably due to the pain. Felix had indeed a black belt, so you could only imagine how his punch felt… Why did they drink so much, god? You took Minho’s hand onto yours, trying to take a look on his cheek, your fingers carefully caressing his cheek. He hummed under your touch and you let out a chuckle.

   “You’re dumb” You stated, and he whined at you.

   “I was trying to protect you” He groaned, embarrassed “It’s not my fault Felix punched me…” He cried, his voice sounded funny and sulky, making you snort “I can’t even protect you… What kind of guy am I?” He complained and you rolled your eyes.

   The punch seemed to wake him up a little bit but he was still kinda funny.

  “I don’t need you to protect me, I have Felix in case you haven’t noticed” You joked, making he snort “You don’t need to protect me, I just need you by my side” You muttered, knowing he wouldn’t understand but somehow he seemed to. His hand caressed yours and he looked deep in your eyes, his gaze soft, and you gave him a peck on the cheek.

   He smiled cutely before pouting.

   “I think his punch hurt my mouth a little bit” He was a sly little prick… You chuckled before giving him a peck on the lips, making him beam “I think I bit my tongue too…” You cackled up at that, shaking your head in disbelief.

   “Now you’re just taking advantage of my healing powers” You accused, making him chuckle.

   “I like you, Y/N” He muttered, looking away “I’m glad you don’t like Chan… It was horrible to see you with him, I swear to god! I know we have to wish the person we love to be happy with another person when they want it… But I couldn’t watch you with him… It was just painful” He wailed.

   “Hm… You didn’t look so hurt while bringing all these girls home though” You sang, making him whine.

   “They weren’t you… It didn’t mean anything” He shrugged but his eyes lit up right after “Were you jealous?” He asked teasingly and you scoffed.

   “Don’t flatter yourself” You rolled your eyes mockingly “I don’t care who you slept with, Minho, if you stay with me from now on I’m okay with it” You added, averting your eyes as you felt the embarrassment sink in. You were becoming Felix… Minho sat down on the bench, waiting a bit before standing up right in front of you. You looked at his eyes, his shy gaze on your face.

      You didn’t even think as your hands wandered to his face, grabbing his jaw as if you needed it to regain your balance like he was the only thing you could hold before falling, even though holding him couldn’t help the fact that you fell for him anyway. He got startled at your actions, widening his eyes as he looked straight into yours, trying to understand what you were doing. His cheeks were slightly pink and you found it too cute to ignore, so you grazed your thumb over them, looking at him with so much adoration he melted inside.

   “Y/N?” His voice was weak and fragile, trembling, unsure. It sounded like a thin string vanishing away.

   “I prefer when you call me kitty” You answered softly and you connected your lips with his.

   At first, it was subtle, an uncertain brush. It seemed you were afraid he would simply be gone after you kissed him, but he wasn’t gone. He was there. You kissed him with so much emotion he didn’t know what to do, your tongue asked for permission to explore his mouth, and he simply moaned, letting you in. It was completely different from your first kiss with him, you weren’t desperate, you weren’t horny… You were home. It felt like he just let you him on his life and as soon as he cupped both of your cheeks and deepened the kiss, you knew you could never go away.

   You were locked in.

   Your soft and lovely kiss turned into a passionate one, Minho held you close, like you could vanish from his hands again anytime soon and you enlaced his neck with your arms, bringing him closer to you, trying to show that you could never let him go. One of his hands slid to your waist and rubbed gentle circles there. He was lovingly. You broke away the kiss and felt his forehead on yours, your eyes still closed as you breathed in slowly.

   “Kitty?” He called you, so much love in his voice… Your smile came naturally.

   “I think I like you” You said, just as he said to you that day, and he chuckled.

   “Thank god or this kiss would have been so awkward” He joked, and you laughed, relieved, gripping your waist firmly as if he was afraid to let you go.

   “I do like Chan… As a friend. Just like Felix. Well, maybe a little bit less, I’m not even sure if I like you more than I like Felix” You joked, and he scoffed.

   “What a wonderful thing to hear from the girl I like” He joked, and you giggled.

   “Chan is a friend, a lovely friend… But he isn’t home” He eyed you weirdly as if you were talking nonsense “When I’m with you, I feel at home, Minho… I can be myself, I can be relaxed… I enjoy your company the most, I love to sprawl everywhere with you, I love to cuddle you, I love to stay there listening about your day… I love to see you dancing ridiculously while you cook…” You couldn’t help but caress his cheeks, looking him as if he was the only thing you could ever see in the world “When I get into your arms I feel whole… You’re my safe place and even though I was slow to realize it, it’s you… The one to whom I want to go back every night… It’s you”

   Minho looked away, flustered, and then he rested his chin on the top of your head.

   “Don’t look at me now” He asked as you made mention to broke away from his hug to look at his face, his voice somewhat funny.

   “Are you crying?” You asked amused and He scoffed.

   “No! Of course not!” Even so, he didn’t let you look at him. You laughed, hugging him “I can’t believe you like me back” He sighed, relieved “Oh my god… I missed you so much, Kitty! So, so much…” He squeezed you, taking a deep breath.

   And then he made a strange noise.

  You moved away a little, looking at a nauseous Minho.

  “I don’t feel too good…” He muttered, letting you go “I think I’m gonna thro—“He couldn’t even finish his sentence, turning his head away from you so he could throw up on the floor. Lovely. You patted his back, trying to soothe him. Minho straightened himself, looking disgusted “What a nice way to end up the night with my girlfriend…”

   “Oh?” You said surprised and he shot you a worried look.

   “I mean… If you want to be my girlfriend! That’s it! You don’t need to feel pressured at all” He hurried to say, making you snort.

   “Calm down, I was just… Surprised” You said shyly, a fluttering feeling on your stomach “I would kiss you to seal the deal but you just threw up, so…” You trailed off, laughing, making Minho gasp in mock chock.

   “So my own girlfriend won’t kiss me if I throw up at a party?! I see…” He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking at you in feign disappointment as you chuckled “Won’t my sweet girlfriend kiss her lovingly boyfriend?” He asked, grabbing your face and coming closer even though he didn’t intend to kiss you, making you panic, your hand pushing his chin lightly.

   “Go away! Gross!” You shouted, laughing as he grabbed your waist and turned you around. As you were pretending to try to get away from him, his hug tightening around your waist, and both of your laughs sounding clearly in the air, you heard a gasp.

   “Holy shit, am I interrupting something?” Hyunjin asked, Felix as surprised as him, leaning on your roommate, their eyes widening in a chocked expression

   “Has been for the most time I spent with Minho, thanks for noticing” You joked and Hyunjin seemed relieved.

  “Thank god! I can’t believe I won’t have to hear him whining about his love life anymore! Oh my god… I will… Oh my god! Felix, we’re free!” He beamed, shaking Felix in bliss, making him laugh “I’m so happy for you! Really! But I’m way happier for me… Y/N, I love you! I own you the world, really” Hyunjin was a dramatic little thing.

   “Back off, she’s taken” Minho joked, making them laugh “Now give me a kiss, sweety” He whined mockingly, pretending he was going to kiss your cheek.

   “Felix, punch him again for god’s sake!” You pleaded, Minho’s whining sounding in the air.

   Poor boy.

   You felt happy as all of you made your way to the car, wondering how all of it had happened.

   If anyone would ask you, you would never have guessed that your roommate would get you expelled, you would have to go getting another roommate, put up with a slutty bastard, meet tons of new guys that were friendly enough with you, have your best friend trying to set you up with some of them and finally setting up with your own roommate.

  You wouldn’t have it any different though.

                                                      /////

That’s it! Hope you guys liked it.

It was my dice decision to get Minho with her. I played until I had the same results twice in a row, so if you wanted a Chan’s end, please blame Dice God.

Sorry if I missed any warnings, I’m not used to it yet, so let me know if you felt uncomfortable with anything so I can fix it <3

Also, I no smut because I don’t know your ages and didn’t warn a smut in the beggining but I do think it was suggestive enough haha

Tagging:  @slut-for-fandoms

[nemesis729]

I would love, love, love to read your full thoughts ❤

Okay, *cracks fingers*, sit tight because this may be a beast to type out and it may take a few more rereads and some block quotes for me to do a full in-depth analysis. Translation: I’m going to try to do a full-on essay with this because there’s a lot to unpack.

Really, it all boils down to one thing. Billy has a lot to learn. That’s basically been my thought since Reader called it quits at the gala. 

Since the inception of the arrangement, Billy kept the reader at arms’ length. The Reader was aware enough (due to her childhood, most likely) that Billy would run for the hills if anything resembling emotions and relationships were to enter the equation. So, of course, she decided to settle for what he could give her. Okay, yeah, it’s amazing sex but, after a while, it can leave a person cold if there’s little to no emotion involved. In any case, after the wake-up call, Reader decides that she wants more than the scraps and isn’t willing to settle for what he’s giving her. When she ends it with Billy, he’s completely blind-sided because, all of a sudden, without him noticing, Reader is showing that she isn’t as biddable as he expected her to be. I wouldn’t be surprised if, at the gala, he expected her to fall in line when he had her up against a column. 

Anyway, I digress. If anything, because Reader was easy-going in his eyes and he didn’t care enough to observe her during the almost-year of their arrangement, I shouldn’t be surprised that he didn’t understand why she ended things. Seriously, you can’t just pay attention to what’s being said. You also have to pay attention to what’s not being said. 

That’s kind of what I wanted to rant about for chapters 1 through 3. This essentially sums up Billy’s thoughts on the reader:

Up until last Saturday, you had barely been a blip on his radar. Sure you guys were fuck buddies and he liked your easygoing personality, but the thing he appreciated most about you was that you were low maintenance. You didn’t demand anything from him emotionally and that meant he didn’t have to put in any effort into the relationship.

This, in itself, is very telling. For me, it brings home the idea that the arrangement mostly benefitted Billy. Since we, as the audience, know that Reader felt more for Billy than he did for her, we’re left thinking, “wow, what a douchebag,” about him. Like, seriously, during those months they were together, he didn’t make little observations about the reader? No filing away about what her preferences are? Her tics? 

If you were someone he cared about he may have gone over to check on you or made more of an effort to get in touch but, really, he couldn’t be bothered.

That basically summed up the first arc of Reader and Billy’s relationship, such as it was. And, when she decided that enough was enough and she deserved something more substantial, all of a sudden, she’s interesting and now he wants her. 

At this point, I want to say that the tables have turned. Except, I can’t. Maybe. Possibly. Before, Reader suffered in silence about her feelings where she stood in Billy’s life because she was self-aware and able to read the room with regards to Billy. She knew him enough that any discussion about the future and commitments were a no-go for him. Now, when Reader doesn’t want anything to do with him, Billy wants her. As I previously pointed out in my last reply, does he want her for her or is it a point of pride because she was the one that ended it first and not him?

It’s, as the kids say, pretty sus.

Anyhoo, the latest installment of “A Woman Scorned.” What a doozy. The chapter had everything from tension, UST, and protective best friends. 

Davina is the best friend we all wish we had and what we aspire to be. I love how protective she is over the reader. I also enjoyed how judgmental she was at Billy’s lack of knowledge about reader. Here are my favorite scenes:

“Billy Russo.”

Davina ignored his hand, lifting her eyebrow. “I don’t like you.”

“Clearly.”

“And I don’t like that you’re messing around with my friend.”

Billy stood up straight, concerned. “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know. She texted me and told me she couldn’t make it. If I didn’t have to host this thing, I’d be at her place right now. I think she’s a bit freaked out.”

He placed his drink back on the bar. “I’ll go over and see her.”

“What do you want with her?”

This time he couldn’t hide his annoyance. “Enough with the third degree. I’m just going to check up on her. Unless you want her to be alone right now?”

Davina’s eyes narrowed. She was gauging him carefully to see whether he could be trusted or not. At first he had no idea which decision she landed on, but the eventual resignation gave her away. “Let her know I’ll come by tomorrow.”

“Y/N’s not the type to admit when something’s wrong. With her, it’s like pulling teeth.”

“But she has a tell. When she’s upset, she buys shoes.”

“You’ve been sleeping with her for months and you don’t know what she likes?”

As much as Davina would love to keep Billy from Reader, she knows something happened and she knows a familiar face might help Reader in some way or another. Judging by the resignation, she probably wouldn’t be surprised if reader fell into bed with Billy while she’s vulnerable.

Anyhoo, I said it once and I’ll say it again. Billy has a lot to learn.

It was obvious Davina hated him, which made him wonder if that’s why you’d decided to cut him off so suddenly. He filed the question away in his brain, making a mental note to find out the answer from you at some point.

Read the room, Billy! For someone so smart, he has the emotional awareness of a rock. Maybe he’s thinking with the wrong head? That’s something to consider.

During that time when Billy visited reader, his takeaway should be paying attention to what the reader isn’t saying as well as what she is. At the gala, he pointed out that the reader is closed off. That should’ve given him some sign that there’s something more going on.  

He cocked his eyebrow. “Maybe it’s just you I need to learn more about.”

“I think it’s a little late for that.”

Right now, if we’re heading towards the official end of the relationship (and, in the reader’s eyes, we are), this is the epitome of “too little, too late”.

“It’s never too late.” His eyes were suddenly intense, in a way you were only used to seeing when he was angry or turned on. “Maybe you can show up at my place one night, wearing that robe, your favourite heels and nothing else.”

Billy is pretty optimistic that they will still be together. Enough said.

“No. You don’t know what I like.”

He leaned forward, eyes seductively drifting down to your lips. “I have a pretty good idea of what gets you off.”

“Yeah, but what gets me off and what I like might be two different things.”

Billy, I like you but you really need to pay attention and take notes! Of course he would be observant on what gets reader off but has he ever observed her in a non-sexual but intimate way? Somehow, I doubt it. 

“You grew up rich, didn’t you?” he taunted, drumming his fingers on the table.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because only someone who has money would say it doesn’t matter.”

You laughed, chugging the remainder of your wine. If he only knew. “Sure, Billy.”

The fact that she doesn’t say anything more about her family should speak volumes. See the other receipts:

“You have a lot of pictures up,” he remarked. “But there isn’t a single one of you with your family. There’s no sign of them in your apartment.”

“I’m not close to my family.”

“So you and the fam don’t get along?” he probed.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Billy,” you whined, taking a sip of your drink. “I don’t want to talk about my family.”

The reader’s childhood is next-level levels of messed up. If her father was like that, I can only imagine how her mother is. And since she doesn’t have pictures of any of her family, I can say that her mother wasn’t Mrs. Brady. 

One thing I can say about Billy is that at least he didn’t take advantage of reader while she was vulnerable. 

Billy’s jaw was clenched with anger but you told yourself it wasn’t because of you. He was simply pissed Anvil’s competitor was still more successful despite their negligence.

Whether he knows it or not, he cares about her. Knowing the reader, she thinks that he’s more upset on behalf of Anvil as a form of self-preservation. If she were more secure about what they are to each other, she would know that he’s angry because she was in danger. Unfortunately, because she realized that she probably won’t be more to Billy than a bedwarmer, it’s dangerous for her to think that way. 

Still, I have to admit that I liked how he just hugged her. Whether it was in comfort or to lead to something more...that’s going to be a problem in the next chapter. But, in that moment, he sensed Reader needing comfort and did something about it. That might be a smidgeon of growth right there.

Okay, wow, that was way longer than I thought. So, here are my final thoughts:

Billy’s an asshole but he’s our asshole and we love him. Even when he’s earnestly pursuing Reader, he’s still an ass. Reader is more guarded than ever because of the suppressed feelings she had for Billy combined with seeing him with Madani and her insecurities. It’s a horrible trifecta. 

It doesn’t help that Billy’s pursuing her and attempting to woo her when all she wants is distance. He definitely has his work cut out for him because Reader isn’t going to make this easy. Aside from her childhood, she already had a sample of “fuckboy” Billy. She’s familiar with that version of him. And she wants more than a fuckboy. She wants more than that and she knows that Billy can’t give her that more. Naturally, she’s going to keep him at arms and legs length.  

This constant push and pull is highly entertaining and I can’t wait to read more. I’m sorry this review was way too long and rambling but I couldn’t stop once I got going. I hope I wasn’t being too hard on Billy. I feel like I am. (I probably am.)

Love!