#anyways rant over Im about to go on break in the coming days

[emmyrosee]

Hi Emmy! I hope you are doing great. I love your writing and it genuinely makes me smile through tough times. I am currently studying for the mcat and it is taking a toll on me mentally and really testing my academic abilities to the point where it is overwhelming and I can't push myself to study (ahh sorry for the rant 😭). Anyway, if it is okay, could you write a comfort fic with akaashi keiji and him comforting you (reader) through something like this? Obviously you are not obligated to do so, so do not feel any pressure!! Thank you for turning my gloomy days a little brighter with your brilliant work!

YOURE ACTUALLY THE SWEETEST EVER AND IM GLAD MY PIECES ARE ABLE TO GIVE YOU A SENSE OF COMFORT WHILE YOURE WORKING SO HARD 🥺❤️

---

Your eyes water as your palm comes up to rub at them for the nth time that hour, reminding you that you've been plopped in this chair for who knows how long.

Too long.

You would sit and ponder just how long you've been here, just staring, but when you let your mind go there, your eyes sting and your bottom lip wobbles, and you don't have the energy to cry, nor the time to, if the bright light of your phone that flashes with a notification every few minutes is anything to go by.

You offer a shaky sigh, then go back to your laptop, fingers fatigued and heavy from the hours you’ve spent typing your life away. Nothing can prepare you, however, for the gentle feeling of fingers slipping over your shoulder and gently massaging, fingertips rolling into the tense knots just under the surface of the skin. You hum in relief and flutter your eyes shut as you lean your head back, gently resting against Keiji’s stomach. “Hey, baby.”

“Hey,” you mewl, stretching softly. “Don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he chuckles. His thumbs squash into your shoulder blades and you wince softly at the pressure. “Hows studying going?”

“Terrible,” you whimper, and god, the wobble in your lip returns, and your eyes screw shut to try and block out the sting of tears biting at your waterline. “I… don’t want to study anymore, Keiji…”

“So don’t, my love,” he whispers, leaning down to press a kiss to your head. “Just work your way out of focus mode and come be with me.”

“I can’t,” you sniffle. Then, your breathing escalates, “Keiji I can’t fail this, there’s no option there, I need to finish this, I need to pass-“

“Hey, hey,” he says, moving his hands up to gently cover your eyes with his hands, touch light and warm and the sudden weight across your exhausted vision welcome. “You’re going to do well, my love. You’re doing very well.”

“I don’t care,” you whimper. “I need to not fail.”

“You’re not going to fail,” he whispers, gently kissing your head again. “You’re just so tired, your brain is about to have a meltdown. You need to take a break.”

“I don’t have time for a break-“

“Make time,” he says, stern but loving. “Come on. Just some water. Let’s go drink some water, and then if you want to come back here and rot, I’ll let you.”

You sniffle. You try to think your exhausted brain back to the last time you even looked at a glass of water, let alone did anything, and you offer him a shaky sigh and slowly push out your chair. He steps aside to give you some room, and as you make a move to stand up, your knees buckle slightly.

“Woah,” he says, chuckling softly. “Get your legs back. Then we’ll go, yeah?” You nod and take a deep breath, trying to force your knees to stop being jelly and stand up straight. You feel ridiculous, unable to even stand properly, and frustration brews inside of you again as you struggle step by step.

“Let me go, Keiji.”

“Not until you can stand.”

“I can stand fine!”

“No, you can’t,” he says calmly. “And that’s okay. I’ll always be here to help you up.”

With that, a dam breaks. You let out a shaky sob and wail into the air, letting out hours of agony and despair from lack of confidence and determination, beating yourself up for not fully grasping a topic and cursing yourself for the field you picked. It’s not fair, this isn’t fair, and-

“Hey,” he says softly, snapping you out of your spiral. “What’s 2+2?”

“What?”

“What’s 2+2?”

“Uh…. 4?”

“Okay- what’s 3x3?”

“9?”

“Okay. So what’s 6x4?”

“Keiji, what’re you doing?”

“Helping your brain rewire itself,” he says firmly. “You’re so deep in your head that you can’t think of anything other than your spiral, so im guiding you out of it. What’s 6x4?”

“Uhm… 24.”

You hate to admit it, but it’s working. The basic math helps your brain focus on answering him, rather than the screams and howls in your brain. You sniffle and rest against him, legs slowly coming to life as you straighten up, little whispers of math questions helping you get your footing and mind back to a semi-stable state. You sigh shakily and answer each math problem calmly, and with time, you finally look up at him and sigh, “I don’t want to study anymore.”

“Let’s call it a night, okay?” He offers. “I’ll stop working too. We’ll have something to eat, drink some water, and take it one step at a time, okay?”

“Together?”

“Together.”

[dwindlinghaze]

reader pretending she (or they) doesn’t love peter back when he confesses because she is scared to lose him as a friend if they break up so after some angst and pining and avoiding feelings they end up together? ty!

main thing

(peter parker x reader)

summary : you're scared of losing peter as a friend by being more than friends with him.

contents : fluff, small angst ig, she they pronouns used!!! kind of short and rushed im so sorry but i love this concept a lot so thank you anon !!! 🫧🫧

a/n : im back!!!!! im really sorry if my writting is messy and stuff cuz i haven't been writing fics for months noww,, anyway i hope u like it 🫧☃️☁️ and a little rant here um i have this exact situation with a girl- i like her a lot and i knew she liked me back but i also happened to know that if we were to be together it will not last very long so we just ignore whatever is there between us. but don't worry lovelies r and peter's ending won't be like mine <3

　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the hallway between classes were so full. crowded by students walking in eight cardinal directions. your head felt dizzy, it's like you're seeing everything underwater. your steps came to a halt when you were met with a row of lockers. palm against the cold metal as you gain back your stability.

peter must've seen you from the other side of the hall. frowning as he took in your state.

he walked over to you, cautiously. "you okay?"

you looked up to meet his eyes, immediately closing them back when the ceiling light hit your vision. "not feeling well."

peter placed his left palm over your cheek, rubbing them softly to soothe you. he didn't know if it helped but he smiled nevertheless when you nuzzled your face further into his hand.

you wanted peter to give you a hug, maybe his shoulder can be a good resting spot for your heavy head and his warmth can relax your muscles.

and of course. peter did. without you even asking.

"wanna go to the infirmary?" he asked softly, rubbing the side of your head as you completely lose all energy, so now he's the one that held you standing.

"mmh," you replied, not having the energy to form real words.

"alright then let's go," peter started to pull away but stopped midway when he felt you struggling.

"pete, i'm sorry i can't, i have to lay down," you whispered. so soft and low. if he weren't that close to you, he wouldn't hear it.

"that's alright, just slow steps," he encouraged.

he missed his class but he didn't care. he just wanted to be there with you. showing his affection because of his new slash old found love he has for you.

your migraine has not subsided at all the following day. you decided, for good, to skip class. there's no point in going to school when you're sick anyway right? you'll have ended up in a worse condition by the end of the day.

peter was searching for you left and right, he knew you were sick and he is worried sick about your whereabouts. he called you several times already but you never picked up.

when school finally finished, which for him was the longest six hours of his life, he immediately went to your house.

your mother was the one greeting him, saying that you're resting in the comfort of your bed. he went upstairs, after getting your mom's permission, and knocked on your door softly. "hey, it's me peter, can i come in?"

you gave him a very soft hum, thanks to his advanced hearing he can hear you just well.

you were lying on your bed, covered in tons of blankets. peter felt warmth rushing through his chest, seeing you like this. he approached you slowly and kneeled beside your bed.

"how are you feeling?" he asked ever so gently, hand on your shoulder with the blanket in between.

you peeked an eye open, your room was dimly lit, only your vanity lights were on. "better than yesterday," you answered, pushing yourself up slowly. "the migraine is not as bad as yesterday, my head is hurting- just a little."

"oh okay," peter replied. "do you need anything? i can bring you food or drink or water? do you need painkillers?"

you smiled, reaching for his hand, "i'm fine pete, just cold. can you turn up the ac please?"

peter did just that, jumping to his feet to take the remote.

after that you fell into a deep sleep again. peter was there the whole time. he was thinking about... stuff. stuff he wants to tell you.

he sat on your bed right beside your blanketed legs, his hands over them. he looked at you, your sleepy face, perfect hair, soft cheeks. you are his friend. best friend in the whole world. no one understands him like you did. just a few months ago he realised that his feelings may have grown.

it's not just a friendship kind of love but a lover kind of love.

he recalled the amount of time he had cried on your arms. laughed together with you. talk about embarrassing things he had done and had regretted. nobody knows him like you do. and peter would not let anybody know him like you do.

you're the only person that he can be vulnerable with. the only one that he can just be himself even if it's not the best. the only one he trusts.

"what are you thinking over there?" your voice pulled him out of his thoughts. he gave you a smile and you gave peter space for him to lie down.

"just thinking about thoughts... ?" peter answered but it's more like a question.

"thoughts about?"

"nothing."

"you know you can always tell me anything right? no matter what it is," you assured the boy.

"yeah..."

"so...?"

"you're sick right now, you should be resting," he said instead.

you sat up, stretching your muscles as you scrunched up your face. "i feel a whole lot better now... hey do you want some meal and we'll talk about whatever you are thinking about? cause by the look of your face, it's something that has been bothering you hm?."

peter thought about it for a while, but he really didn't have to. it was about time for him to tell you how he feels. he just hoped that you feel the same way.

your mom brought the two of you dinner to your room, you thanked her before she left and urged peter to eat. "pete?"

"yeah," he cleared his throat, "um i don't really know how to start this."

"it's okay, you can take as much time as you want, i'll be here," you said as you take a spoonful of the dinner.

that's also another thing about you that made his feelings even more clear. you never pushed him. always waiting for him to be ready.

"i like someone," he started. you stopped what you were doing and turn your focus fully on him. your heart felt like it has been crushed. "i know we never talk about y'know- this kind of stuff together but the thing is, i like her so much maybe i even love her, i don't know yet though cause i don't really know how love feels- but i sure do like her a lot."

"and does she know this?"

"no... but she knows now" peter answered, hoping that you'd get what he meant.

"what do you mean?"

peter sighed looking down at his lap, "well she's my best friend. my only friend actually. i really really want to be more than friends with them because she is everything to me. i smile every morning because i know i will see them later that day. i spent most of my time thinking about the two of us together. and you know just how worried i was when they didn't go to school because she was sick."

"peter-" you warned him.

"y/n, listen to me-"

"peter please don't," you whispered. you thought you would be jumping and giggling if peter ever confessed to you but instead it's the complete opposite. you don't want this. you can't have this no matter how much of you wanted him.

peter's eyes were brimming with emotion, shiny tears fighting their way not to roll down. "you don't feel the same do you?"

you wanted to say yes. yes you feel the same, you like him so much and that's what you're so worried about. "peter it's not that easy. we- we can't," you shook your head.

peter's brows knitted together, he was bitting the insides of his lower lip. "that's ok. i'll just go home now. i'm sorry for making things weird yeah? just forget everything i said. tomorrow is a new day." he forced a smile before he is out the door.

just like what peter has said 'tomorrow is a new day' so you acted like yesterday never happened. you walked into school, seeing peter by his locker. you smiled at him. "morning!"

"morning, y/n," peter said back, voice cracking.

"let's go to class," you suggested.

through out the day everything was just like how it used to be. you still sit besides each other. still eat lunch together. everything was the same... except that peter can't look at you for more than three seconds and you two don't talk as much anymore.

peter still walked you home, though there is no goodbye hug.

you wondered if you had made the wrong decision. what if you just accept your feelings and let peter in? but the thoughts of ever, god forbid, breaking up with him is what makes you back away from accepting his love.

you love peter so much. more than you can ever say. in a world of boys he's a gentleman. he proved so today. even after getting rejected and having his own heart torn into pieces, he still walked you home.

the next day though, peter seemed to be avoiding you.

you tried to come to him several times but he just gives you short replies. you couldn't blame him. he has every right to do so.

it has been two weeks since. you missed your peter so much. you missed his cheeky smile. his science jokes. his laugh that never fails to make you smile.

sure you can live without peter parker, but would it be as exciting? would you let the only person that knows you best slipped away like that just because you pretend to not return his feelings?

it was such an emotional rollercoaster. on one hand you want to wake up beside peter, but on the other you worried that he'll realize that he's better alone so you'd break up. you want to cuddle up next to him, but you fear he'll get sick of you and break up.

why does every intimate thought of him always ends up with breaking up?

you tried to bottle up your feeling until you can't anymore. so here you are now, knocking at his door.

he opened up, looking as tired as one can be. now that you really look at him, you notice his beautiful freckles that doted all over his nose and cheeks, his smile lines around his eyes, his pretty eyes that you love so much. even in his exhausted state he still looked so- so perfect.

"y/n? what're you doing here?" peter spoke.

"i want to talk to you." you mumbled, looking down at the pavement.

peter was silent. complete silence.

"i want to tell you that i do like you too, peter. i was just being dumb because you're my best friend for years and if we ever get together, what will happen when we break up? i don't want to lose you. so by pushing my feelings aside i can just continue like nothing happened... but i can't stop thinking about how i have hurt you. i completely denied and hurt your feelings and i can't forgive myself for that."

peter put a warm hand over your shoulder, rubbing his thumb back and forth.

"it's fine. if you don't want this then we don't have to." he said.

"but i want this."

"you do?"

"yes but-," you took a deep breath, "but what if we broke up?"

peter shook his head at that, "we haven't even got together yet and you're thinking of breaking up?"

"it's not funny."

"y/n look at me, i love you. i will not let that happen. and if you really think about it, what is there to be the reason of our break up?"

"i don't know something might come up."

"we know everything about each other, we understand each other. if there's something, i'm so so sure we can work it out," peter placed a hand on your cheek, forehead touching.

"really think so?"

"of course," he replied. "i'm also sorry for saying that so suddenly. i should've known better."

"it's okay peter, we're here."

"yeah we are, and we are not leaving each other yeah?"

"promise," you said.

[nedtylue]

Hellooo!! im sure you know why im here (hehehe),

May i please request some lucifer fluff, like how mc would have to go about (lovingly) forcing him to take a damn break, (mans may know he doesn't need as much sleep as a human but he still needs the normal amount of sleep a demon does) and i know the first idea is kind of overused when it comes to luci fics and headcannons buuuuuuut it could be reversed so that its mc who overworks themself (tbh relateable) and luci has to (attempt to) help them to relax and during his attempts hes like 'am I this bad when I overwork myself' (and a mc who overworks themself could be a prompt for all the bros if yoou wanted to write something with them all)

(also i may return with another request if i get anymore ideas your writing is very good (20/10 would eat if possible/hj) the second idea kind of sounds like im trying to sell you a car or smth lol i promise im not)

sorry if its alot i started ranting a lil bit (btw me mentioning 2 ideas usually means i had one and then it split as i was typing and my brain went maybe they want a choice)

(feel like i've typed too much) thank you for reading the ramble thing if you read all of it feel free to write it hw you want and have a good day/night (morning, evening, midday, lunch, breakfast???)

Hey sweetheart! I love this especially since I've been working on an angsty fic for a while so I really appreciate the fluff! Anyway I decided to just make it a full fic with only Lucifer, hope you enjoy!!

Please take a break

“Lucifer, could you please take a break? Just a quick nap, or even fetching a snack from the kitchen will do”

“I will, dear“ Lucifer replies, not looking up from his work “Just after I finish this paper”

And Mc sighs. They refrain from telling Lucifer that this is the fifth time he said that today. Saying so will only make him more stubborn

So Mc just settles in their chair and tries to get cozy. They check their DDD, knowing that it's way past their bedtime, and they're met with the clock mocking them that they'll have to be at RAD in four hours. Exhaustion washes over them, and they silently beg their future self to forgive them for the suffering they'll bestow on them

They put away their DDD, and when they feel their eyes droop shut, they feel a bit of defeat settle in their heart. This won't be the first time they fall asleep in Luci's study, and they know Lucifer will stop his work soon, will carry them to their bed, and will make sure they're well tucked and cozy.

They just hoped the break they give him this time wouldn't be the five-minute walk from his study to their room

But Mc still begrudgingly counts that as a win, because if this doesn't count as a way to distract Lucifer from his work for at least five measly minutes, then Mc might just go mad from watching this man work his life away

And soon enough, when Mc fell asleep and soft snores accompanied the sound of pen on paper, Lucifer would look up at his beloved darling. A small smile will appear on his face as he admires Mc and how peaceful they look while they're asleep. He still feels a sense of wonder every time Mc falls asleep in his presence, amazed by how at ease Mc is in his company that they'd let themselves be so vulnerable.

He'd admire their beauty for a long time, pen still in hand as if he could snap himself out of his trance anytime and continue working, but he knows he won't. Not when Mc is sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. He would sooner or later get up, and carry Mc in his arms to their bed. He would lay gently, throw the covers over them, and watch them. His hand would lightly move a few strands of hair from their cheek and would stay there, gently cupping his beloved's cheek, lightly caressing them when the love and adoration in his chest became too much for him to handle.

He sees the dark circles under their eyes and he winces, feeling a pang of guilt stab at his chest. Mc is just too stubborn. He's already told them that he's fine, that he doesn't need to sleep as much or eat as often as humans, but they still try to get him to take a break from his work. He even urges them to go and rest, knowing that humans should sleep for eight hours a day, but they refuse, saying that they'll rest once Lucifer takes a break.

He can't believe he fell for such a stubborn human

And yet, he smiles like a lovesick fool as he watches them sleep.

Lucifer feels a stir in the house. Satan must've woke up, and is making his way to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Lucifer checks the time and sees that Mc will have to wake up in an hour. He knows he must leave now, he's still got work to do before he has to make sure that his brothers are up and ready for school.

But then exam season rolls in, and something they didn't expect happened

He leans in, his lips briefly touching his beloved's hair, then he slowly gets up and leaves Mc's room, throwing one last glance their way, watching how their chest slowly moves with every breath, before he finally shuts the door behind him and makes his way to his study.

—————————————————————

The brothers have seen how often Mc tries to get Lucifer to take a break no matter how much he refuses, and they let them. Soon, Mc will realise that there's no getting Lucifer away from his work (Unless there's an emergency, of course) They just gotta wait for Mc to make this realisation on their own

Mc now refuses to stop studying.

It was funny the first two days, exams haven't even started yet, they're going to start a whole week from now, and yet anywhere you see Mc, there's a book in their hands, or notes, or flashcards, or-

The point is, wherever you see Mc, they're studying. They'd get startled whenever anyone tries to talk to them, and if they agree to go somewhere or do something with the brothers to, you know, give themselves a break, they would agree. And show up with something to study with

Slowly, this stopped being funny when Mc and turned concerning very quickly stopped showing up at the dinner table, opting to eat in their room surrounded by their books. When whenever anyone would ask them anything they'd say 'Sorry, not now, maybe after I'm done studying' Even if they asked Mc what day it was, that's their answer!!

And they're never done studying! Even if you catch them without a book, they're mumbling to themselves various formulas, answering imaginary questions, and generally not beinh fully there! Their eyebags became so deep Belphie tried knocking them out one time, but Mc just sidestepped him. Their hair is disheveled Asmo tried taking them on a spa day, but the workers were so unnerved by Mc's constant mumbling and suddenly moving to check a lesson, a spell, or an answer on their DDD

It was also unnerving everyone they knew, the brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos, the angels, and even Solomon. They all tried getting Mc to take a break, but Mc refused. They keep telling them that they're fine, that they've slept enough, that they eat and take regular breaks (never mind that they barely sleep for one hour before they wake up for RAD, and take a half-hour nap max if they really, really feel like shit. never mind that all their food is snacks or that their 'regular breaks' are their bathroom breaks)

And Lucifer of course isn't just idly watching Mc wither away like this. He tries to take them on dates, tries to convince Mc to sleep at a reasonable time, and tries to make them eat anything that doesn't come pre-packaged

He's never seen them push themselves like this

“Well of course they will,” Asmo tells him as all the brothers look at him accusingly “that's all they see you do!”

“Yeah, you hypocrite” Mammon crosses his arms and shakes his head “How are they supposed to listen to a word you say if you do the exact same thing?”

“I'm a demon” Lucifer defends himself. He won't keel over if he works too much for a while, Mc will

“It doesn't matter to them,” Satan says “You showed them that overworking oneself is normal, now they're going to work until they burn themselves out”

Mammon rushes for the water-

“Not literally, Mammon”

Lucifer lets out a sigh

“I'll talk to them”

“That's not gonna cut it” Belphie glares at Lucifer

“You need to take care of yourself, Lucifer, and once they see you do that, they'll follow”

Lucifer stares at Beel, then slowly turns to look at the rest of his brothers. They all seem to agree, and that makes him sigh. He'll try, of course. For Mc, he's ready to do anything.

—————————————————————

The tic-ticking of the clock stopped bothering Mc a long time ago. They stopped checking the time, watching the time pass makes them feel so nervous. Instead, they rely on the numerous alarms they set up on their DDD to tell them when they should sleep, wake up, eat, and check if there's anything they've put off doing for too long

“hmm?” They ask, still reciting under their breath how an Angel's muscles replicate the movement of a diaphragm when a human is near-

Something in the back of their mind tingles. They think they may have heard a knock on the door, and they might have mumbled “Come in” but they aren't entirely sure. They've been way too focused on memorizing the difference between angels' and demons' respiratory systems to notice the door opening and closing, to hear the footsteps, or sense their favorite demon coming up behind them. They only slightly turn their head when they feel a hand on their shoulder gently shaking them

“Mc? Could you leave your books for a moment?”

“I'm busy now. Maybe after I-”

“It's four in the morning, Mc”

Mc tilts their head slightly, looking at Lucifer in confusion before turning to look at the clock. There's no way it's four already, it was just one like half an hour ago-

But the hands of the clock show that it is four fifteen now. Shit, now they don't have time to revise the spells in chapter five before they go to sleep, and the General Spells exam is in three days-

“Mc, please look at me” A touches Mc's cheek and gently guides them until they look into Lucifer's eyes. He looks so sadly at them. It makes Mc wanna cry

“You've been pushing yourself far too much, my darling. What happened?” He asks, and something in how soft he sounds makes Mc lean into his hand until it's the only thing supporting their body

“It's just been a hard semester” Mc mumbles as they stare into his eyes. They shine so beautifully in the soft glow

“I see” Lucifer replies, feeling a bit of relief spreading through him. He's so glad Mc is actually looking at him, actually replying to him, and not just repeating that empty promise they've been saying for the past week-

Mc suddenly pushes themselves away from his hand and tries to go back to the book

“I have to study. I'm behind, I was supposed to be done with anatomy three hours ago. Can we talk later, Luci?”

A hand again guides their face, the other slowly turns the chair until Mc is facing at Lucifer. He’s kneeling on the ground and looking so gentle and tender and warm that Mc wants nothing to do but sink into his arms

But if they do so they might fail their classes, and Lucifer will be so disappointed in them

“Lucifer, please, leave me alone. It'll just be for one week, then I'll spend time with you all you want” Mc was now looking at Lucifer, a hint of frustration could be seen in their eyes. They really just need to get past this week, only this week, just one more week then they can rest

But their voice was laced with a hint of desperation. They can't let their grades slip, they can't

And something in Lucifer just breaks at seeing his darling like this.

His brothers' words echoed in his ears

He really is the one to blame for Mc's state here. How could he call himself a deserving partner when he's let Mc slip from him like this?

“No, Mc,” Lucifer whispers so tenderly as he takes their hand into his

“You need to rest, to eat. Come on, love”

He gets up and pulls Mc until they're standing up, then starts guiding them out of the room.

Mc resists weakly. They really feel tired, and they've been ignoring their hunger for-for… how long now?

“But Luci…” They still try protesting, hoping that he could at least let them study while they eat “I'm not done yet with todays studies”

“No, love” Firmness. He opens the door, and continues guiding Mc towards the kitchen “That's enough studying for today, and for tomorrow, if we can help it-”

“No!” Mc turns around so quickly and looks at Lucifer in panic “I can rest for today, but not tomorrow!”

Lucifer just chuckles lightly, feeling amused by their reaction and kisses their forehead

“Alright, you'll rest for today, and then we'll see what happens tomorrow”

Mc just sags and hums, closing their eyes and lean into the kiss, and Lucifer could feel his heart swell in his chest

His Mc is just so adorable

And so Lucifer makes them sit in the kitchen while he makes them a light snack, and watches them eat it. He guides his beloved to his room, where there's nothing they can use to study, and lays them in his bed, joining them so he can engulf them in his embrace.

He watches them as their eyes droop and shut, as their breathing evens out, and their body goes slack in his arms. He watches them for a long time, until sleep gets a hold of him too, and he finds himself drifting away into the land of sleep.

He wakes up to his beloved trying to get up, to leave his arms and go to RAD, but he just shushes them and holds them closer

“Shh, you're not going today. We can ask Satan for notes late. Rest for now, love”

And Mc goes back to sleep in mere minutes, and Lucifer decides to just follow them. He hasn't been around Mc for a whole week, would it be that bad to spend the morning drifting in bed with them?

Soon, Mc stirs and wakes up, and Lucifer feeling them stir opens his eyes. After a quick look at the clock to check how long they've been asleep for, he relents and lets Mc get up

“Where are you going” He squints at them suspiciously as he sees them move towards the door, and they look back sheepishly, like they've just been caught doing something they know they're not supposed to be doing

“I'm going to my room?” Lucifer shakes his head

Mc pouts at Lucifer but obliges, muttering under their breath a quick “Do I really?”

“No, go to the bathroom and take a bath. A long one, Mc. You deserve one”

“Yes, you do” Lucifer sighs and gets off the bed. He moves towards Mc and gently cups their cheeks in his hands

“You deserve to rest, Mc, you've been studying non-stop this past week” He leans forward and kisses their forehead “Now, go take a shower. I saw Asmo sneak in some products for you to use. I'll go prepare some breakfast for us, and we could eat in the garden, how does that sound?”

Mc nods, and Lucifer lets go of them. He goes to prepare some french toast- one of Mc's favorite breakfasts- along with various sweet fruits for them to eat and goes to prepare their little picnic in the garden

Soon, Mc joins him looking far more relaxed than before. He hugs them, his fingers combing through their soft hair as the smell of the strawberry shampoo wafts through the air

“How do you feel love?” He feels Mc's arms around him tighten as Mc snuggles just a bit closer, then they release him. It takes him a moment to release them too

“Better” They say, their voice so soft and they smile so warmly at him, Lucifer almost wants to pull them back into his arms

But he knows that his love hasn't been eating well, and he'd hate for their breakfast to run cold, so instead, he holds their hand and pulls them towards the table he's prepared for them

They eat in silence, enjoying the serenity of the moment, the presence of each other. Lucifer basks in the peace and quiet only the absence of his brothers give him, while Mc's enjoys how calm and silent their mind has become after their rest.

Lucifer seems to notice Mc's mind wandering back to their studies, and he frowns slightly at that

But exams aren't done yet, they still have a week of suffering before it's over. They really should be studying right now

...But they could have this nice morning for themselves. Just this once, as a treat

He lowers his cutlery, and looks at Mc, his expression serious yet soft as he calls for them

“Yes?” They know what Lucifer will try to say, and they know how to respond. They really need to study hard, or else their grades will slip-

“Mc”

Mc turns to look at Lucifer as they pop a bloodshade into their mouth, enjoying the sweet-sour taste of the fruit

“would you stop pushing yourself too hard if I stop too?” Mc startles at this question

“…what?” They stare at Lucifer, tilting their head in confusion. Where did that come from?

He puts his hand over theirs, and Mc sees guilt in his eyes. It's not a good look on him. Mc wants to squish it out of existence

“My love, you're always trying to get me to take a break, and I've always brushed off your concerns. I feel so foolish now,”

“You were acting like a fool, Luci” He huffs out, but mirrors the smile on Mc's face

“Yes, I suppose I was, but if watching me made you feel even half as worried as watching you study, then I ought to apologize to you. I'm truly sorry for brushing off your concerns, Mc, and making you worry about my well-being, and will take as many breaks as you want from me, dear, if you promise to stop overworking yourself"

He brings Mc's hands to his lips and kisses his knuckles, sending a wave of warmth travelling through Mc until it rests in their cheeks

"How does that sound, darling?” he asks and looks at Mc so sincerely that it almost makes them feel overwhelmed

So Mc smiles brightly at Lucifer. They nod, agreeing with this deal, and feel their heart skip a beat at the smile that appeared on Lucifer's face

Mc has known that they were overworking themselves, and maybe the thought that 'if Lucifer can do it then they can too' have crossed their mind once or twice, but they didn't think that Lucifer would get so worried. Worried to they point that he'd put his work aside, basically put Diavolo aside just for them.

Maybe they've pushed themselves too much. Maybe they need to slow down a bit, if only to stop the others from worrying, to stop their boyfriend from worrying.

And this sounds like a pretty sweet deal. Mc is not going to look a gift horse in the mouth

Yes, this is quite the sweet deal they have

—————————————————————

Welp, this was fun! Sorry it took me more time than I thought it would, it was supposed to be a quick thing but, oh well

Also dw I also rant a lot it's like my brain just screams mid-writing You Know What Would Sound Better??!!! So yeah I enjoyed writing this and I really hope you enjoy reading it ^^

Also I really love your energy and I hope you have a fun day/night!!! (Brunch/ lunch /dinner??) :>

[sshiostwordblog]

Alright so um ANOTHER tword rant this time very fucking long (very silly and wholesome and full of stupidity) because I'm tweaking out guys (SOMEONE'S FAULT), so um, whoever doesn't want to read this long ass storytime skip it

But like, I keep talking about this friend often in my posts right? Alright, so um, she's NOT in the community right? I told her about this interest I had from the very beginning, but she didn't get it at first.

Tell me why lately she has been checking my stuff?? TELL ME WHY SHE HAS STARTED TO FEED MY DELUSIONS??? It isn't like her at all. Or at least, she wouldn't have done that last year??? I'm not okay. Tell me why the other day I sent her that comic I drew of me and her and she said "thank you for the info"???? Tell me why when I said I hated her she replied "says the girl who told me her TICKLE spots with a comic"????

why. Must you say. The wretched word. That makes me go all stupid and giddy and flustered.

She didn't do this before??? IT HAS GOTTEN WORSE

Can't say I'm not loving it, not just that but she's getting more affectionate lately.

Anyway, whatever, um, she's been busy lately and I'm very used to treating each other in a "heavy" kinda way??? Like, lots of insults and not usually affectionate comments. There is a hidden layer of obvious affection between the two, we obviously love to spend time together and such but we're not saps too often. Not her at least, maybe me.

She thinks about affectionate things but doesn't voice them out loud, that's why IM TWEAKING OUT RIGHT NOWWW she's getting so affectionate and I'm NOT used to it, she checked my blog and saw all my posts about her (she's gonna be checking this shit too watch) and I can tell that she loves it. I can hear her smiling from the other side of the call, I can hear her giggling to herself and muffling her voice with her pillow. Apparently she loves when I ramble about her.

She saw my recent post talking about her and her dog and told me on call "you wish it was you huh?" And all I could do was sputter whatever stupidity cause she's right and it pisses me off

After she saw that, she went silent for a few minutes and I felt suspicious. I casually asked what she was doing because she's been snooping on my things lately, and she said "I'll gladly show you"

She wrote the following thing.

She wrote.

I'm.

Sje.

U33h3n..HAHSYDYEHE..DI3Y373B..DJEU3HVRTM.EJEU3IHEWIJE.

IM OKAY.

So like um I took a break. Then two. Then rambled and stuttered and sputtered and tweaked out, but now that I calmed down I can confidently say...

I really love her. She makes me happy, she's amazing. Not just because of the tickle stuff but in general. The fact that she wrote this so sweetly, smiled and giggled to herself when she heard my reaction, the fact that she does this on purpose. The fact that she's expressing how she feels about me even more, the fact that she's getting more confident about showing me these things.

Because yes, keep doing it. I love it. I love reading it. I love your stupidity and the things you do for me. Talk more to me about your favorite characters, tell me more about the scenarios that come to mind when you think about us. It doesn't have just something I like, but in general. She makes me so unreasonably happy and she doesn't realize it.

You'll think it's over, but she wrote more. Here it is.

yup. Um. Friends. Right. We're. Um. Right. I'm not okay.

I really needed to get all the sweet things out of my chest and all the things I think about her, sorry for my moots who might come across my stupid ranting. I wanna get to hold her too and praise her and tell her how amazing she is (things bros would do ☝️☝️) and just cherish her because what the fuck. I'll go to sleep with a smile on my face tonight because of her and all of the things she said.

And I hope I get to have this effect on her too one day. I like when she smiles. She has a pretty smile and the sweetest of giggles, even if she doesn't realize it. She might have to watch out for the wave of affection that will come once we're reunited.

And I think that's pretty much it. Surely other special things happened, but if I were to put everything in here nobody would read it sooo I'll just stop here heydkhdkdhd yup if anyone went through this whole thing congratulations

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

First of all, I just wanna say ive read your pinned post; im not expecting you solve my problems or even give advice if you don't want to. But with that said, I've always respected and valued your input based on how ive seen you respond to others so I thought it would be worth sharing what's going on in my life and seeing if you have any thoughts to share. I hope you don't mind <3

I just went through a breakup with my longterm (now-ex) partner. We would have been together for 8 years in May. We've been together since I was 17, so I have literally never experienced adulthood without her. On top of that, im disabled and she has in many ways acted as my caregiver. I have a lot of complicated feelings about the situation. What it comes down to is compassion fatigue/caregiver burnout. But at the same time, I can't help but feel mad. This is what I've been worried about since the beginning. I never wanted to put extra strain on her, and ive always feared a partner taking on too much only to decide later that they can't handle it and leave. I've never been anything but open about that concern. I never wanted her to take on more than she could handle. I would have wanted her to talk to me about it and be honest with me so that we could change things... not to bottle things up until she reached a breaking point and had to leave for her own mental health.

It just feels so unfair and entirely avoidable. It didn't have to be like this. She could have just had a conversation with me about it instead of letting it get to this point. Instead, she prioritized my needs over taking care of herself until she couldn't do it anymore, just to drop me entirely. It just feels like such a black and white response. She tried so hard to take care of me and make me happy, but at the end of the day, that's what lead to her burning out and being the one to hurt me. It just feels like such a cruel bit of irony.

I can't decide how I feel. My feelings are flip-flopping constantly. One second I hate her and the next second i love her. One second I feel guilty that she felt the need to bottle it up for so long, the next second im pissed off and feel betrayed. I just still can't believe that an eight year long relationship is over... all because she couldn't just be honest that she was overwhelmed and have a real conversation about it. Well, not until it was too late anyway. Somehow, she managed to have that conversation after she came to the conclusion that breaking up was for the best. Just not in the eight fucking years that preceded that decision.

Anyway im sorry for the rant. I'm just so tired.

Yeah it's a common problem that person one is aware of a potential issue and encourages person two to communicate and establish boundaries as needed, while person two doesn't actually do this and instead bottles things up till they reach a breaking point because despite person ones encouragement they have internalized that it's "kinder" to not establish boundaries and "bad" to have needs and limits. Which is then the direct reason why the relationship eventually falls apart. I absolutely get your frustration. No relationship benefits from one part bottling things up and never establishing boundaries and then holding the resulting bitterness and exhaustion against the other person

[lonelyloverz]

servamp spoiler about mahiru’s secret:

now that i’m thinking about it, it’s kinda crazy that akira pulled off mahiru’s revival is it not? it took villages to revive the servamps and they still didn’t turn out human so how did mahiru come back as a human with the price being just akira? am i missing something?

like the more i think about it the more i feel like its such a shame that this was revealed at the very end of the series + it’s used for mahiru to briefly fall back on the “it should be me” trope that he had gotten over with in london. i genuinely think the tooru cliffhanger was unnecessary. tanaka shouldve let him tell mahiru, have the call come immediately after the reveal, it gets forgotten in the midst of confronting tsubaki, the whole london shenanigan happens, he reveals that he doesn’t mind being the sacrifice because he’s died once, him and kuro can bond over their fucked up reincarnation and boom the story moves on

this way the reveal could’ve been a little more impactful and could’ve been an even angstier reason to mahiru’s self sabotage

i remember there were some theories floating around that he’s a phoenix or had some ties to saint germain and stuff but that all went down. had the secret been revealed earlier in the story we could’ve gotten so much more background about mahiru and akira, i was so hyped for her and her relationship w touma. the last time mahiru went thru major character development is the london arc and he’s the mc for gods sake 😭

i want to preface this by saying i absolutely love this series and i have been loyally reading the raws the day they come out every single month for the past 5 years, but i think servamp fell off after c3 arc and then got better for a little bit in london arc🫣 obviously i am very kuromahi pilled so this is a very biased !opinion!

and yall, ik this is going to make me look stupid asl but i genuinely don’t understand mikuni’s obsession with misono. i swear i read those chapters like 5 times but my brain just can’t comprehend it. maybe i should try reading the english translations for once because clearly im not understanding the japanese version

anyways i hope tanaka sensei takes a nice break now that she finished this decade long series. maybe she has another manga series in mind, i wouldn’t mind her going back to her bl roots either (if anyone knows where i can find all of them please tell me, i found some a couple of year ago under her other name tanaka ball but only snippets so pls help a girly out 🙏) oh and idk how well known this is in the fandom but tanaka sensei is a fan of kagerou project and has drawn a couple of oneshots for anthologies in which a certain character acts and is drawn like a certain blondie, which i think some of you crazy fans might appreciate

anyways rant over

toodles

[docwritesshit]

hi!! Im the one who sent the reserved, tall reader req and i just wanna say… i love it SM! Ur writing was amazing! Thank u sm 😩😩😭😭😭💋💋

i hope i dont seem as a bit overwhelming but i hope ur ok with another req thats like a part 2 of it? Except, the more the reader spends time together with shadowpeach, the more they become a bit more comfortable with them? (Bcus maybe b4 they were a lot more secretive yet polite) and then, when they start dating they become more bubbly and cheerful, yet so empathetic and kind. Always knowing the right wirds to say and being the shoulder where they can cry on.

Btw u can do this late or delete it if u want ofc. No pressure! Take care and be kind!

Good sir, I think you are the sweetest anon I have had so far and I appreciate you for it

Anyways!

Shadowpeach x Tall!Reserved!Reader turned bubbly!

Listen, these two had enough energy between them so it took a while for your bubbly side to come out

What came put first was your empathic side.

Macaque was having a hard day, just not feeling like he was being listened to

You popped your head around the corner and asked if he wanted to talk about something

Shocked that you picked up on that, he obliged and ranted about his day

At the end, you grabbed his hand and said something that struck him deep

“I’ll always have an ear to lend, love”

God how he needed that

With Wukong, you assured him about how he can take a break when he was about to go push his limits

He froze in the doorway, looking at you curiously, and just daunted back over to you for some cuddles

You took no mind, letting him hug you until you asked if he wanted to be held

Frankly, he very much did. So yall switched, and he just relished it

As the relationship progressed with these two, you slowly but surely got more cheerful

More energetic greetings with bear hugs were a very welcome change

And when your excitement showed a lot more, and these two just fucking love it

So they will try to excite you more with little surprise gifts and gestures

They just love how much you show your genuine joy with them, and they want your memories with them to only hold that joy

That’s all :3

[bae04xx]

Cam you write a yandere dream sans x reader please

im a little rusty with the undertale aus so sorry if this is out of character 😭 i tried my hardest xx

this is so shit man i’m sorryyyy

kinda yandere dream sans x reader

fluff ☁️

dream lay in between my legs, his head resting up against me as he read. some new book he had been raving about, i’d been struggling to focus, or even listen to anything for the last couple of days- it’s been getting on my nerves. after being cooped up in this.. space? i’m not really sure what it was called, you get a bit stuck in your own head. too conscious of your own thoughts, i get like that. it gets worse when dream is off doing god knows what for hours at a time- he doesn’t tell me much, never has, you just get used to be in the dark, doesn’t make it any more bearable but it makes you expect it.

“y/n? y/n?” dream calls out to me, breaking me from my mental rant.

“huh? yeah sorry,” i reply sheepishly as i hear a sigh from him, he places his book down.

“what are you thinking about?” he beams, i can feel him smiling despite not being able to see.

“nothing much, just wondering what you’re reading,” i lie, i know he can tell but he goes along with it anyway.

“you feel quite tense for just that,” he chuckles, “i’m going to have to meet blue and ink soon, we’ve got some things to figure out,” he massages my thigh as i lean back, exhaling softly before i decide what to say.

“..why don’t i come?” i speak, just above a whisper, my question makes him go slightly rigid.

“well, y/n, um. i’ll have to think about it,” he stammers, unsure of what to say. dream is one of the most positive people i know, i never usually see him looking for his words.

“it’s alright, i just thought it’d be nice to meet your friends, considering you spend so much time with them,”

“trust me i spent a lot more time with them before i met you, and they’re starting to have a few questions about that. maybe it’d be good if you met them,” he announced, jumping up and dusting himself off.

i quickly followed, letting him guide me to where we we’re going.

after a strange way of transportation, we arrived. there were 2 other skeletons like him, one with a paint brush and another with a blue bandana- they suited their names. who i presumed was blue jumped up when he saw me, cocking his head at dream, while ink stayed seated, his eyes narrowed at me.

“WHO’S THIS!?” blue demanded, attempting to rush over to me, only to be pulled back by ink. dream had spoken very little of them both beyond their names but i could guess ink was in charge by his demeanour.

“this is y/n, she’s been living with me for the past couple of months. i thought she should meet you two,” he smiled, his arm firmly around my waist.

“and you bought her to a meeting?” ink questioned, a slight bite in his voice.

“HELLO HUMAN Y/N, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” blue almost screamed, i didn’t really know what to say.

“it’s nice to meet you y/n,” ink said, a forced politeness to me, i could tell he didn’t mean to be rude but there was something beneath the surface. “can we speak to you alone dream?” he asked, tapping his bony fingers rhythmically against the table.

“of course you can, y/n would you mind going into the other room?” he asked, pointing to a wooden door to my left, i walked off, ignoring the goodbyes from the 3 skeletons.

there i tried to drown out their argument, i heard my name being thrown around like a game of piggy in the middle. dream drastically trying to defend not only me but myself, ink interrogating him about where i came from, who i was, if i was dangerous and how much of a risk i made them. and blue was just joining in, asking so many questions about me. i desperately tried to ignore it, wishing for some headphones, or at least to be put in a room far, far away from them.

after an hour of being on my own, dream burst into the room, a tired, forced smile on his face.

“y/n! come on, we’re going,” we sighed, trying his best to keep his normal bubbly energy up.

“what even happened?” i asked as he dragged my arm lightly.

“we’ll discuss this next time,” ink spoke calmly, clearly with ruffled feathers.

“there’s nothing more to discuss.” dream said sternly, ending the conversation- you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

when we got home i was still very confused, as always.

“what was that all about?” i asked, while dream held me, he had told me before that my presence alone can calm him down, so i think that’s what he needed right now.

no response.

“dream?” i questioned again, waiting for an answer.

5 minutes of silence went by before he stated,

“they want to take you away from me.”

“what?” i didn’t know how to feel, or what to say, dream was trying his hardest to stay calm and remain in a happy place, yet the way he was acting was eerie.

“but i’m not going to let them do that, you’re never leaving me. i promise.”

[the-record]

when emma falls in love

synopsis: ellie might be in love with you, and you might just be in love with her too… if only you could admit it

pairing: college!ellie x fem!reader

warnings: too many tlou references, food, not proofread!!!!! also using angel in place of y/n bc it makes me cringe a little!

a/n: lets play a game called “how many references can kate make in her fics?”

‘IM JUST PRETTY GREAT WITH MY FINGERS’

when emma falls in love, she paces the floor closes the blinds and locks the door when emma falls in love, she calls up her mom jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong

ellie couldn’t keep up.

she felt like every time dina came over, there was someone new in your life, and she couldn’t understand how. you were perfectly nice and even prettier.

but here she was, yet again in her dorm, listening to dina rant about the latest endeavor.

“and he was just a total dick! like, how are you going to say you’re busy tonight with family and then go to a party? like are you stupid?” dina sighed. “i love her, but god does she picks some idiotic ones. you remember the beach girl?”

oh she remembered the beach girl.

on an annual beach trip over spring break, some blonde had caught your eye, and you caught hers. you had invited her to join them for dinner, and how could anyone say no to you?

you hit it off with the blonde, abby, and she spent the next couple days with the group, constantly flirting with you. ellie had felt a sort of dread fill her stomach. why her? she was obviously playing in to what you wanted and she knew you were smart enough to see that.

the trip wrapped up and you made plans with abby, excited she only live a town over. but when the time came, you spent 3 hours at the park waiting for her, only to receive a text saying she wouldn’t be able to make it.

you were upset and crashed at dina’s, and ellie had heard about it all the night.

“yes, god, i remember her. what a douche.” she rolled her eyes, standing up to grab her bag for class. “i’ve gotta go, but are we all still going out tonight?” dina nodded with a smile. “cool. don’t do anything stupid. and lock my door before you leave, please.”

“says you. and i’ll think about it!”

shes walking out the door when she hits something, or someone.

“shit.”

“fuck, sorry my bad.”

when she focuses back, she sees you. “hey, what are you doing here?”

“oh, dina told me to come over. are you going?” you leaned in the doorway. “dina, come on, stop invading people’s space. lets go!”

she groaned, “but ellie said we could smoke here!” she got up nonetheless, heading to join you. “thanks anyways els, have fun in class!”

“bye ellie!”

she sighs as she watches you two walk away. why does air fill her head whenever shes around you?

she waits and takes her time ‘cause little miss sunshine always thinks its gonna rain when emma falls in love, i know that boy will never be the same

“so, angel, how’s it going with you and that girl?” jesse felt a kick at his leg and turned to dina. “what? am i not allowed to ask questions?”

“no, no, it’s fine. we didnt work out, but thats okay!” you smiled brightly at the table. “i think im gonna take a break anyways. im kinda sick of it.”

they all shared a knowing look. “hey, no! i promise, this is for real.”

“hun, its not that we don’t believe you.” ellie started. “iits just that… we dont believe you!” you groaned and stole a fry from her plate. “look, we’ve just heard that a lot, and we dont wanna see you get hurt.”

“but im not going to! because im taking a break.” you kicked ellie. “you dont have to believe me, but can you at least pretend to?” they gave in and cheered for you. “thanks, now who wants to share a brownie?”

“okay, so its c minor sharp, f sharp, b, e, repeat?” you and ellie sat on the dorm room floor, her guitars in both of your laps.

“yea exactly, just on the third repeat, its a g sharp minor instead of a b.” you nodded at her and plucked the chord. “exactly. and i pluck for it so just… just watch?”

she played the song slowly, speaking her pattern as she went along. you nodded at her when she finished, figuring you knew it well enough. “okay, play it together?”

“yep!”

she counted down before starting, making you smile.

“talking away, i dont know what im to say. ill say it anyway, todays another day to find you shying away. ill be coming for your love, okay.” you hummed a harmony as ellie sang the words.

“are you sure you don’t usually play? youre a total natural at this.” ellie marveled as you let the last chord hum out.

“i guess im just pretty good with my fingers.” you felt your cheeks blaze as you heard back what you said.

dina chuckled, “damn right!” she stood up, going for the door. “gonna grab a bottle of water. play more for us beautiful ladies!”

ellie taught you the rest of the song, both of you more awkward than usual. you really came along it so fast, ellie was amazed.

“okay, seriously, you have to be messing with me because you are way to good at this.”

“i promise! i only took piano lessons.”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

ellie had a thought that she might be, maybe, just could be a little in love with you.

she couldnt be though. right?

sure, she knew all of your favorite foods, and knew the words to your favorite song, knew your favorite books like the back of her hand, could tell anyone how you took your coffee.

but that was friendly. you guys were friendly. friends.

she guessed you guys hung out a lot, but thats because they always hung out as a group. she might’ve gotten excited when you joined, but that doesnt mean anything.

and of course she had noticed you were pretty. gorgeous, even. but so had everyone else. its not like she had purposefully memorized your features. every line and mark.

she could draw jesse from memory perfectly, its not like she liked him.

it was normal.

totally normal.

fuck.

“where’s angel?” ellie asked, looking to dina.

“not coming.” she sighed, digging around her purse for a pack of gum. “said she was busy, but she wouldn’t say why.”

“i think we all know why,” jesse teased. they all gave him a look, but he leveled them with one of his own. “im not insulting her. its just that, this isn’t exactly out of her nature. i mean seriously, who actually took her promise seriously?”

ellie excused herself to the bathroom, dialing you before she even reached the door.

“hello?”

“hey, where are you?” she picked at the already chipping nail polish she had on.

“uhm, im out.” you sighed. “look, im kind of busy. did you need somet-“

she had to cut to the chase. “are you on a date?”

“excuse me?”

“are you on a date?”

“thats none of your business.”

“oh fuck off, you know it very much is. so. are you?”

“fine, yea i am. now can i get back to it?”

“we are talking later.”

she joined the group back at their table, but couldnt focus back in on the conversation.

“you okay, ellie?” she looked up at dina, nodding with a hum.

“yea, sorry, got lost for a second.”

when emma falls apart, its when shes alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own ‘cause when emma falls in love, she’s in it for keeps she wont walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

she didnt even bother to knock, just walked straight through your dorm room door.

“ellie, what the hell?” you were in bed, a book in hand and music playing from a speaker. “what happened to knocking?”

ellie b-lined for your bed, taking a seat at the foot of it. “why were you on a date?”

“dude, seriously, what if i was naked? so not okay!” you placed a bookmark on your page and set the book to the side.

“okay, fine im sorry!” she groaned and found your eyes. “now why were you on a date? what happened to taking a break?”

“what do you want me to say, els?” you exhaled and looked down at your hands. “that i cant keep anything? that i cant keep promises or partners?” ellie felt bad as she saw your eyes were glossy and the frown on your face. “im sorry im such a screwup and that i cant do anything right. anything else?”

ellie ran her fingers through her hair. “im sorry.” she crossed her legs on your bed and looked at you. “really im sorry, this was so uncalled for. youre right, its not my business. im really sorry. i just wan-“

she froze.

surely you couldnt be kissing her right now.

before she could even think to reciprocate, you pulled away, a deer in headlights look on your face.

“im so sorry.” you whispered moving away from her. “god, im so so sorry. you should go. im sorry.” she opened her mouth to try and say anything, but you beat her to it. “ellie, please, just go.”

she saw the tears well and felt compelled to stay. but her body went against her, forcing her feet to walk out the door to her own room.

e: you cant ignore me forever. read

e: please angel, just talk to me. read

e: you kissed me, not the other way around. stop making this my fault. read

e: millers, noon? just coffee, i promise. read

a: im sorry.

ellie tossed her phone at her bed.

“whats up with you?” dina probed. “youve been… peeved this week. whats up?”

“who the hell says peeved?” she tried to joke but was met with dinas serious face. “im fine! seriously!” god that face made her break. “okay fine, just… dont tell anyone.”

dina nodded excitedly and sat down infront of her.

“angel kissed me, and then she freaked out and made me leave, and now she wont even talk to me!” ellie fell back onto her bed.

“SHE KISSED YOU?” dina squealed. “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME SOONER!”

“did you hear nothing else that i said?”

and shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

e: please, im begging you, just talk to me. read

a: what do you want me to say ellie?

e: literally anything. read

a: i messed up els, okay?

a: i shouldn’t have kissed you. im sorry.

e: but you should have. and you did. read

a: what?

e: meet me at millers? read

a: ellie…

e: please. read

a: omw.

e: thank you omg. read

a coffee was waiting on the table for you when you arrived. you sat across from ellie, hesitantly taking the drink. “you wanted to talk.” you talk a sip, finding it tasted like your usual order. “so talk.”

“okay look… i’m just as confused and nervous as you are.” she laughed nervously and fiddled with her own cup. “but, im glad you kissed me.”

“what?”

“yea i know.” she took a deep breath before continuing. “i only recently, like very recently, realized my feelings were misplaced. i really dont wanna be friends.”

you groaned, “and you couldnt have just texted me that?”

“fucks sake, just let me finish!” she pleaded, picking back up when you sat back into your chair. “i like you. like, a crazy lot, and it freaks me out. so please, let me at least take you on one date. if not, its fine, we just cant be friends. i wouldnt be able to stand it.”

you chewed at a nail as you took in what she had said.

“say something.”

a beat of silence before.

“okay.”

“okay?” she whispered.

“yea, okay. you can take me on a date.”

well, shes so new york when shes in l.a. she wont lose herself in love the way that i did ‘cause she’ll call you out she’ll put you in your place when emma falls in love, im learning

“hey, hurry up, im waiting downstairs for you.”

ellies voice rang through your room as you placed her on speaker.

“nuh uh, im not done. you asked me out, now deal with the consequences. ill be down when im ready.” you pulled out your outfit, throwing it on as you spoke. “just scroll on insta or something if you’re that bored.”

“fine.”

she hung up and you couldn’t help but laugh. you had been so nervous in the days leading up to this, but suddenly felt much better as she yelled at you like normal.

you finally met her at her car, hopping in the passenger seat and connecting your phone.

“the hell are you doing?” ellie squealed.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “passengers princess gets aux. suck it up loser.” you queued up songs as she pulled out and onto the main road. “where are we going anyways?”

“you’ll see.”

“god you are so annoying.”

and yet you smiled at her.

“an arcade? really?” you looked at her with eyebrows raised.

she shrugged and unbuckled, opening her door to get out. you shook your head, shocked still you were on a date with ellie williams. at the arcade.

she pulled you through the maze of a place to some own machine. “mortal kombat? what even is this?”

she smiled so bright, you couldnt help but smile back. “just wait, its so fun.”

emma met a boy with eyes like a man turns out her heart fits in the palm of his hand now he’ll be her shelter when it rains little does he know, his whole world’s about to change

“it was totally fun right? c’mon, you can admit it!” she pushed your shoulder, seeing your smiling face.

“okay yes, fine it was fun, i had fun!” you laughed, staring at her face. “i never really noticed you had this many freckles.”

you traced a finger across her cheeks. down the slope of her nose. across her eyebrow, stopping to poke the scar running through the left one.

“you’re pretty.” you whispered.

she blushed. “i think you’re gorgeous.” she whispered back.

her eyes were so pretty.

“can i kiss you?”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

“please.”

yeah, between me and you sometimes i wish i was her

[p-oisn]

let's get positive ! (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

(the content below the cut contains mentions of sensitive topics such as implied su*cide & sh so pls scroll if you're uncomfortable w those !)

this is a long rant about life basically .. 💩💩

i was going to make a post like this sometime later anyways bc i felt .. like a nice person ... but i made it a bit earlier than i expected bc i saw a post from oomf that really made me think .. so here u go

this comes from my own PERSONAL experiences and this is js my point of view yk !!! im no expert on any topic HSHSJ this is js the way i cope plz dont come for me in my asks ... i am aware that it isn't the same for everyone but , i hope this message can be helpful to some extent </3

if you feel like like life is leading nowhere n you feel like giving up I PROMISE it will get better bc i felt the same for two whole years n i will say that i have improved a LOT since . yes , it took me longer than i expected but i didn't give up and you shouldn't either ! it was hard n there were times i felt like i wasn't making any progress / improvement but in the end , it still got better

be kinder (to yourself, first) ☆

i think the first step to loving yourself is to forgive yourself .. its okay to try over n over again , you're still human n i think ppl tend to forget that often bc they're so tough on theirselves . let's not forget that your body is actively trying it's best to keep u alive , your WBCs for example ! (let's appreciate these little guys for trying their best 🎉🎉) your body too , deserves to be loved back , for fighting so hard just for YOU! so pls don't hurt yourself in any way </3

appreciate yourself for achieving even the smallest of tasks because even if it wasn't something big , YOU DID IT ANYWAYS ! every small achievement of yours deserves to be appreciated . even if it's momentary happiness , appreciate yourself while it lasts . i understand that sometimes even small things could be such a hassle but you can always reward yourself later ! i personally like to buy donuts everytime i finish something (this could come in handy when you're really craving something if you get what im saying ..)

It's okay if you're going at a slower pace than other people , what matters in the end is that you get it done ! everyone is not the same so it's unfair to put yourself down for such things .. also applies to comparing yourself to someone because in the end you'll still be you .. even if you don't like it .. that makes you unique ofcourse , there's only one of you in this world so embrace yourself for that !! you're one of a kind (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

oh, but, life's the same, it's boring ... ☆

yes , a lot of days could end up being the exact same because like , there are 365 days in a year so you can except most of them to be similar .. but as a new year starts , ofc many things change without you even noticing it , you grow older ofcourse , and you could be starting a new year in school , you meet new people and so on ! if you compare your life from a year ago or even a few months ago to now , you'll surely notice a few differences atleast so .. life is not reaaaaally the same right .... everyday is a new experience ! literally anything and i mean anything could happen the next day , you could even win the lottery who knows 🤫

when i felt like everyday was the same , i tried changing my patterns .. (my current favourite thing to do is go on a walk ! sometimes i take my dog w me , it's super fun) i would do small things that i dont usually do like sketch ! or i attempt cooking something new .. but obviously there were a LOT of days where i did nothing , sometimes even weeks , and that's okay ! we all deserve days where we do nothing ESPECIALLY if you're someone who is working or js in school / college everyday .. you deserve that break

i think a big factor is being unproductive ? don't get me wrong , i still am my same unproductive self at times unfortunately , n sometimes they do get so bad that they lead to a terrible burnout .. n i went through a rly bad burnout not long ago n trust me you do not want to get this far :( how do i deal with this ? (let's take studying as an example here) well i always start off with small portions , even if it's just a page or two . n then i slowly keep increasing the amount of pages i read .. n yes ofc , i understand how brutal burnouts can get sometimes n that's why it's important to not overwhelm yourself by attempting to finish a big portion of your studies in one go .. just take it easy , let the information marinate in your head for a bit before you move on to the next topic .. so basically what im trying to say here is don't overwhelm yourself with big tasks especially when you're already burntout

friends .. they're great ☆

the thing that honestly improved my life by a mile is getting good friends .. I've had my fair share of bad friend groups so trust me when I say this , it's better to be alone than with people who drain you mentally because . you deserve someone who treats you the way you actually want to be treated .

"but it's hard to make friends" i completely get this because i am a very shy person myself </3 but i think you could start by trying to make friends online ! its easy to find someone with similar interests on the internet .. so when you feel down atleast you know that there's someone on the other side of the world who cares for you ..

but this doesn't change the fact that solitude is AMAZING too (tbh i could go on for a really long time on how i love being by myself but this is already getting super lengthy ...) you can be your own friend too ! (okay see now this seems insane but if it makes you happy WHO CARES AMIRITE) i personally enjoy my own company like omg .. she can get a good laugh out of me sometimes ... you can do whatever you want when you're alone ! you can dance to your favourite playlist or experiment with a bunch of stuff ! if you get bored you can watch your favourite movie or consume your favourite piece of media that no one gets like you 🤫 so , as much as making friends sounds great , let's appreciate solitude too !!

ah, life can be beautiful sometimes? ☆

one of the biggest reasons i go on walks almost regularly is to remind myself how beautiful the world can be sometimes .. (atp half of this is me convincing you all to go on walks) i live in a beautiful neighbourhood n there are a lot of different flowers and fruits that grow here and that makes me really happy . going on early morning walks especially is soo fun , the world is so quiet then and you can even watch the sunrise 🥹

another thing is buying myself things i like ... especially clothes ... if you think you would look good in something then js go ahead and buy it ! don't mind what other people think because like ... YOU are wearing it and if people around you have a problem with that then i think they should close their damn eyes and not look at you if it bothers them that much 🤦 you deserve to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin , you deserve to dress the way you want to ! so if you feel like dressing a particular way would make you feel better .. GO FOR IT !!! this applies to other things you like, maybe accessories, merch or stationary that look cute .. it's okay even if people judge you for your style because in the end they're the ones who are boring and miserable because they spend soo much time hating on others 😒

life is soo much more fun when you take care of yourself trust me ... you deserve to be taken care of !! so spoil yourself once in a while i promise it's okay as long as it makes you happy <3

to sum it all up .. yes , good times don't last forever but so don't bad times , and you and i both can get through a bad day because life is still going on (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ bad times too , will pass . so please believe in yourself and hold on !! i love you

again, this is all how*I* like to cheer myself up so pls don't take anything here in a bad way 😖 all of this was made with good intentions and im so sorry if i still ended up hurting anyone in any way ..

[six-eyed-samurai]

Hii! Follo's sooo precious so I was wondering if you could write something about him becoming a giver in chapter 129. Maybe like a continuation to the other fic you wrote "somebody that i used to know" (yk like childhood friends and y/n already being a giver and cleaner)

SUMMARY: Childhood friends are hard to find again. A/N: YES. FOLLO IS PRECIOUS. I saw your request and immediately thought of the Kenshi Yonezu song and aughhhh I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG I WENT ON BREAK FOR A WHILE IM SO HAPPY YOU READ THE OTHER FIC WARNINGS: Listen to Sayonara Mata Itsuka or I will appear in your room at 8:20

From where does spring continue to emerge from? It seems I’d inadvertently stepped into adulthood

When you took your leave that winter day, the one where the Follo began to have his ideas of becoming a Giver, the snow covers up your footprints pretty quick - the ones made by the too big boots your mother had forced you into, overly paranoid about the snow. The first thing you had done when you’d showed up, late as always, long after Alan had left, was complain about your mother holding you at gunpoint to put on about a dozen layers before heading out as well.

Some things didn’t really change.

Follo plays along and backs you up in your helicopter mother rant and thinks about the deja vu he feels, huddled next to you while it rains down snowflakes. It’s like the first time he met you, two kids thinking they knew better than the adults and running out into the cold to play and hide away with each other after bonding and making friends the only way little kids could. You talk, you talk about anything and everything because the words spill out faster than thoughts can follow. What you’ve scavenged from the trash. Let’s eat this new candy - oh blegh, it’s sour. What do you think Spherites kids do up there.

The topic changes though.

Cleaners and Trash Beasts and Supporters. Follo thinks about how much he wants to be awesome, be more like him. You’re more practical, citing how you’re supposed to go about being a Cleaner without even figuring out how to be a Giver. It’ll cool to be a Cleaner, Follo offhandedly thought. Cooler with you. Eventually the other two leave and you two linger; yapping your time away and trying futilely to make a snowman.

One thing doesn’t change. The snow never comes back after he sees you; it’s like you’re the harbinger of better weather. Spring too eager to chase after your heels.

(Too many seasons after that are too eager to chase after the two of you; and before he knows it, here he is - )

I looked up to see a swallow flying before me, looking rather indifferent If I only had wings - Despair ensued every time I longed for a pair

Over the years Alan began to work to becoming a Cleaner.

Over the years Follo just worked to be as cool and haha, he still works out to impress girls, yes, much to his embarrassment when you laugh at him.

You accompany him anyway. Besides, the one he really wants to impress is you.

It’s easier said than done, your mother used to like to say. Dreaming of being a super awesome heroic noble Cleaner seemed nearly impossible, but Alan remained optimistic, until even you both began to notice the signs. Vital Instrument was the first step, but a step that seemed too high for someone like them to reach.

“Do you think he really will be a Cleaner?”

“Of course he will!”

Seems wrong to doubt your friend, doesn’t it? But in the end even the best he could manage was to be part of a faceless mob. Looked down on by everyone - by Rudo. Would you look down at him, if you were around?

Sayonara, see you in 100 years Don’t worry about me

You’re supposed to meet a lot of childhood friends later on in your life, right? Everybody runs into somebody they used to know sooner or later. Follo vaguely wonders when he’ll meet you again.

It’s been years. You’re probably still living in the North Ward. At some point when Alan gave up is when you both began to drift down different paths, and conversations grow farther and farther between, lesser and lesser words to say. A good guess of what you look like now and the things you did as kids is all Follo has of you now. He’s sure, at least, last you spoke, that he had told you you were his best friend, because Alan, well, Alan, and the other only wanted to talk about Alan.

When he gets his Supporter uniform, it’s the first time he’s thought of you in a while. That’s right, you wanted to be a supporter, because you thought no way you’d be able to achieve Cleaner. Supporter is cooler anyway, you had argued over the other two. Who do you think cleans up the messes left by heroes? He humored you then and thought about how he still wants to be a Cleaner now.

Now that he’s thought of you, he can’t un-think about you the rest of the day. His childhood best friend. Follo laughs to himself when he heads out to his first mission, because sometimes he thinks hears somebody calling him or sees a face that shouldn’t be there in the crowd. Your favorite flavor of snack from the stall. That bug that scared you so bad you leapt onto his back.

The person they helped save on his first mission. Follo really wonders where you are now.

He hopes you’re doing well, at any rate. Not dead yet, at worst.

Before I knew it, the blossoms had fallen and I’d been fed another lie I longed for the ability to fly away effortlessly

“Aha, there's Follo! Follo, c'mere, meet the South Branch Cleaners.”

Pleasantries, introductions, handshakes are normal for something like this, so in the name of politeness Follo prepares to kindly - if stiffly - ask the person who just tackled him in a crushing hug from behind to let go because touchy strangers and he doesn’t want to cause a scene. Maybe he already introduced himself to them, whoever they are, because why else are they gleefully calling his name out and laughing like only -

Like only you could laugh, because it is you laughing. “Follo Tunito! How long has it been?!”

Ah well, a scene’s been already caused; Follo sheepishly attempts to return the hug, if only by wrapping his arms around your legs and hefting you up higher and steadier on his back, craning his neck around to grin. “Hi.”

“Do you still work out to impress girls?”

Gris lets him take off with you after that with a pat on the back and a whispered “go get ‘em”, whatever that meant. Follo shows you around based on memory, because he can’t quite reconcile the image of you as a child to the person - the Cleaner, the Giver, the grown-up you that’s lost all baby fat and missing teeth and short legs - you are now and resorts to staring instead, nodding along as you yammer on what you’ve been up to these past years, chiming in when you recount childhood stories. Life updates. Do-you-still-do-this-and-that questions. “Remember the time” and “oh my god I still can’t believe it’s you”. He’s happier than he’s been in a while. It’s good to recall inside jokes and have this chemistry. His face might actually hurt from smiling so much and maybe he’ll wake up tomorrow with a sore throat from laughing. It’s good to see his best friend again.

Under other circumstances it could’ve stayed that way.

In the pouring rain is what

“So…you’re a Cleaner now?” Follo means it casually. You can’t hear the tightening in him, the sharp needles of an emotion he won’t name (guess, y’know what it is, don’t deny, it starts with J, ends with Y) poking into him, but you can hear what his real question is - or rather, the statement of disbelief. You’re a Giver now. Vital Instrument, anima and all.

“Yeah! Not too long ago though when it happened -” And you launch into your heroic backstory, of how you were picked up by the South Branch Cleaners when the Trash Beast attacked your hometown and your Vital Instrument activated.

So fast?

That’s it? That easy?

He’s tried for years. It took you, what, ten minutes.

Follo doesn’t expect to be the main character of anyone’s story. But apparently he’s not even worthy of a side character.

“…are you okay? You’re really quiet.” You’re still as oblivious as when Alan snuck a bug down your shirt. A finger playfully prodded at Follo’s side, a friendly elbow bump. But it’s like you’re rubbing it in, even not on purpose. So easily brushing off how he might feel, when you know, especially when you know, when you know how hard he’s been trying for years and all he’s accomplished is to be part of the Faceless Mob. The hammer feels heavier than usual.

“I’m -” A horrible person for even thinking these things about his best friend - right? You’re still best friends, even after years, right? You wouldn’t - “How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Just…activate it. Be a Giver. Because I’ve been trying for years and all I’ve done is be a Supporter, which is great and all, really, but I’m tired. I’m tired of just - just being in the background all the time, never acknowledged, and no matter how hard I work apparently I’m not good enough to be a Cleaner, so no, I guess I’m not fine.” His voice is rapidly rising. Follo’s never seen you afraid of him before and shamefully it felt - “You didn’t even want to be a Cleaner!”

“It just happened - “

“So you want it, then?”

“Follo -”

“Right, okay. It’s fine. You’ve never known what it’s like, so why should you care?”

You snap. “I’m not talking to you when you’re gonna accuse me of things like this!”

“Then don’t talk to me.”

It’s only when you run off Follo’s deflating and regretting and wondering if he even told you how much he missed you or how glad he was to see you again.

Fall in love, only to be crushed once again and eventually, go our sеparate ways Blood seeps in my mouth without warning and I spit into the sky

His argument with Rudo feels tired and repeated, making him sick to his stomach but the words and anger spew out anyway. It’s been so long since you decided you no longer want anything to do with him and Follo comes up with excuses every time for never apologizing. You’re South Branch. He hasn’t seen you since. Too much time’s passed, the apology date has expired.

And all of a sudden he’s a Giver, the Cleaner he’s always wanted to be, with a shiny new uniform to say so and a friend that gave him the greatest gift he could’ve ever received.

But you’ll always be his best friend, so that night Follo rummages around for a piece of paper to write to you the apology letter he should’ve written before - really, he should’ve kept in touch with you over the years. Stayed friends and hell, the two of you might’ve become Cleaners together. It’s alright if you don’t reply, or if you choose not to forgive him. He said some things that couldn’t be taken back. As long as you know how sorry he is, that he’s done it at last, and yeah, I hope you missed me as much as I missed having you as my best friend.

Spread your wings and soar Fly away to wherever your heart desires

A reply would’ve been nice. Seeing you in person was better.

Your latest mission was in the area, you explain when Gris shoos the both of you off to hang around headquarters and catch up again, so you thought you might as well pay him a visit; Follo unfolds his letter when you give it back to him and is surprised to find it still smooth and well taken care of, even with the water stains on them (from you or him, he can’t remember). Once the shock and hellos are over with you get to the point, with a smile that’s heartbreakingly genuine and Follo’s not sure he deserves. “Hear you’re a Giver now, congrats. Guess Alan’s hammer wasn’t a failure after all.”

“Yeah, well, Rudo helped and -”

A shoulder bump. “Don’t sell yourself short, you still did it. That’s like, next level awesome.”

“Heh, yeah, okay. You’re cool too.” Follo stuffed his hands into his pockets, obliging when you make him do a spin to show off his new uniform but flushing anyway. “I wanted to be like him at first, y’know? But after that…I wanted to be like you. I think some part of me was scared now that you were a Giver you’d start…I don’t know, thinking you were better than me to hang out with, because I was still the lame Supporter from -”

“Jeez, Follo, I was really complimented until you insinuated I would ever think that of you.” You pull a face and he mumbles contritely. “I was thinking of you too, when I became a Cleaner, that hey, I’m living Follo’s dream, wouldn’t this be cool if he knew? But what you said that day…”

“I said a lot, and again, I’m sorry -”

“No, you were right. I didn’t wanna be a Giver, not as much as you.” The both of you stop and turn to face each other. “So I guess it stung, thinking that you thought I purposely one-upped you or something. Seems petty now - hey, hey, don’t give me that face, I forgive you. Really.”

Follo never realized how much tension was in his shoulders until he let it go. “I don’t deserve it, but is it bad I want you to?”

“Nah. You’re my best friend.” Your hand finds his and you hold up your intertwined fingers, smile so big your eyes are half-moons. “We’re above some egotistical argument and name-calling, right?”

“…always.”

He’s finally gotten around to telling you how much he missed you and how much he loved being your best friend. Maybe someday he’ll tell you how it was never for girls he worked out to impress for. It was you.

It’s still you.

Would we remember in 100 years? Who cares? So long and see you again!

[plague-karm]

Hadalpelagic Zone Part 14: Ellie and Lena are going for a girls night out, but they have to take the fish, things don’t go very well.

“Uh…why is he coming with us?”

“Bentley’s still helping Valen out and he’s not doing well at the moment, I thought a change of scenery could help him out…”

The three were in Ellie’s limo, her driver was (supposedly) completely unfazed by Sebastian due to the industry he had trained in so no one was worried about him spilling the beans. Sebastian was surprised he could even fit in here (granted the thing was comically long), he was still a little squished though. Ellie and Lena were sitting on the left row, Ellie had just come back from a shoot so she was slightly exhausted and Lena had just finished business with Sebastian a few hours prior to being picked up.

“God my face feels like it’s melting…”

“I thought you stopped using concealer?”

“I did! My skin is flawless but the routine to keep it that way is BRUTAL”

“I can only imagine…”

“I can’t believe I’m actually wearing this piece though…it’s like a fever dream”

“Yeah, you look amazing, what’s the dress made of?”

“Premium. Lotus. Silk. It’s knee length AND it has pockets”

“Woah…”

Lena was wearing her white nightdress since they weren’t going to be leaving the vehicle, Sebastian huffed, god, why was everything she owned so PINK?

“Okay, how did you even meet each other anyway? No offence or anything but you don’t really seem like the kind of people who’d click with each other”

Ellie laughed, her and Lena got this question a lot and she was always happy to answer it.

“We met in university!”

“Yeah, she was…very upfront”

“Lena’s the whole reason I’m doing any of this in the first place! I owe it all to you~”

“And daddy’s money”

“Im NOT a nepo baby! I just have some good connections…”

“One day you’ll learn…”

Sebastian looked over at Lena and took notice of her arm tremors as Ellie kept on ranting about the fact that she wasn’t spoiled in any way, shape, or form. His fins drooped as he tapped her shoulder and whispered gently.

“Wrist weights”

“Hm?”

“Wrist weights can help stop the shaking, I have some in one of these pouches, I used to use them on myself years ago but you clearly need them more than I do”

He made sure Ellie wasn’t looking as he took two black wrist weights out of one of his brown patches and wrapped them around Lena as gently as he could. Lena looked up at him with a surprised expression.

“Thank you…”

“You can’t help me out when you’re shaking all the time, can you?”

“It’s not that…I think you genuinely wanted to help me, your fins go lower when you’re sad”

She could read him fairly well at this point, mostly because his body would give his feelings regarding certain people and environments away, it was a new development, something he absolutely despised (he was still closed off for the most part so the idea of him not being able to hide his emotions annoyed him greatly).

The worst one he had noticed happened only when he was alone with Lena, whenever she was discussing anything and he could notice her voice having a little more life breathed into it his tail would wag, not little flicks either, full on wagging, he wouldn’t even notice it half the time. He dropped out of doing a business major years ago, it bored him, but whenever she talked about it he was genuinely invested. Whenever he noticed the wagging he’d immediately put a stop to it.

He didn’t know his own strength at times and he didn’t want to break anything in case it made an impact so he kept quiet, and it also embarrassed him greatly, he wasn’t a dog, so he didn’t know why the hell this happened, but it did. It had been happening so often that even Lena pointed it out at times.

He still remembered the first time it happened.

He was curled up in her room when they were discussing previous Urbanshade experiments and she brought up his third arm, tilting her head and looking at it with blank eyed curiosity.

“Why is this arm always bandaged?”

“What…?”

“Your arm, it’s always bandaged, why is that?”

Sebastian glared at his arm, he explained the situation with pure disdain in his voice, the thought of such painful memories filled him with anger, but he kept it under wraps for her sake.

“The third arm didn’t respond to the chemicals well…it didn’t form properly, it’s the only part of me that’s…still human. I always gotta patch it up since the skin refuses to heal on its own…”

Lena winced a little, she could only imagine how painful that was, she then saw that the blood on the bandage looked washed out…

“How long have you been wearing that one?”

“The past two weeks, I know it’s gross, you don’t have to say anything, replacing them just…it brings up a lot of bad memories”

Lena then had an idea.

“…Do you want me to do it? I had to do first aid training at a prior job so I’ll know what I’m doing, but I know you’re still uncomfortable with being touched sometimes, so it’s your choice”

For a woman who resembled a soulless husk, her kindness never failed to catch him off guard. Throughout the whole process she was as gentle as she could be, even going as far as showing Sebastian the clear liquid in the ointment she was applying to his skin to show that it wasn’t any familiar looking chemicals that had been forced on him. He winced and hissed a few times, but Lena never scolded him for it, it was the opposite, she said she UNDERSTOOD.

She then wrapped a new, clean bandage around the arm, the look of the bloody, rotten fusion of human flesh and blubber didn’t phase her at all, she looked quite sad at the sight, she could only imagine what had happened to his fourth arm if the third one had gotten this bad. After she finished she looked up at him, hoping that he was feeling alright after such a vulnerable display.

“How does it feel…?”

He moved around a little, it felt a lot less sticky, whatever ointment she used did wonders for it.

“Better…I…”

He was struggling with his words, he wasn’t used to this, her curious eyes constantly gazing at him didn’t help matters.

“Thanks for uh…doing all this”

“It’s okay, I don’t like seeing you in pain”

And that’s when his tail began to wag, Lena took notice of it almost immediately, finding it a little endearing.

“Your tail is wagging”

“What?”

“It’s going back and forth”

“Lena I’m not a dog there’s no way it- WHAT?!”

He was freaking out, whenever this happened he immediately became aware of it, being stuck in this body was bad enough but now it was acting without his knowledge? When will it all end?

“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!”

“Has it…never done that before…?”

“I DON’T KNOW-“

“Calm down”

“I CAN’T CALM DOWN IT KEEPS-“

Lena then put her hand up to one of his cheeks and pinched it gently, she was always weary regarding how she touched him but she noticed that he’d calm down whenever she’d do THIS in particular.

“Calm. Down. It’s not killing you, don’t be worried”

“…Fine”

Which brings us back to present day, he kept a close eye on Lena as the wrist weights worked their magic, he could’ve sworn she had sat closer to him but she was that small compared to him that he couldn’t tell. Ellie noticed that they were going the wrong way and she crossed her arms.

“Hey, we’re supposed to be going THAT way? What’s the big idea?”

“Miss Price, you may pay me greatly, but the bounty for the beast in the backseat? That is far greater than anything you could conjure up”

My god, a double agent. Thankfully it was one guy with a measly little pistol so Sebastian wasn’t really worried, he could easily take him out, before he could however…

“ARE YOU SERIOUSLY TRYING TO SAY MY MONEY ISN’T WORTH ANYTHING?!”

Ellie shrieked, he hissed at the sound, her voice was shrill enough as it is she didn’t need to make it worse. She dashed to the front and put the forced breaks on as she dragged the traitor out and loudly chastised him as she viciously slapped him in a back alley. Oh he HAD to watch this, he ducked as much as he could and watched through one of the windows.

“…Has she always been this violent?”

“Yeah, back in uni she split people’s skulls open whenever they made fun of the way I walked and she’d pin it on people she didn’t like so she could keep a clean record for when she put job applications out”

Wow, for someone who came off as ditz who’s unaware of her surroundings, Ellie was actually really calculated when she wanted to be…

Ellie stormed back into the limo and took the front seat, strapping herself in as she took the unknowingly amatorious duo in the back for the most unstable ride of their lives. Ellie didn’t know where the hell they were, but she wasn’t going to wait to find out.

“I don’t have a licence but I don’t care! We’re getting out of here!”

Lena was practically being thrown around like a ragdoll as Ellie was making a mad dash to somewhere a little closer to town, Sebastian quickly held Lena in his arms to prevent her brain from being more scrambled than it already was.

“ALL THAT MONEY AND YOU CAN’T AFFORD A SINGLE DRIVING LESSON?!”

“I HAVE OTHER PRIORITIES!”

“LIKE WHAT?! BEING PAID TO SIT AROUND AND LOOK PRETTY ALL DAY?!”

“YES?!”

“GOD EVER SINCE I WAS A KID I COULDN’T STAND PEOPLE LIKE YOU-!”

“Rock”

“WHAT?!”

“There’s a rock in front of us”

Bentley and Valen were just walking down the street when they noticed something in the distance…

“Oh my god…it’s…it’s…”

“Oh hey a rock”

“That things huge, need help carrying it?”

“Don’t worry Ley I’ll be fine”

Valen’s strength was something the group rarely talked about, but it was quite the sight to behold, Bentley was so caught up in watching his friend that he completely failed to notice the limo that was parked haphazardly in their drive. The two immediately walked over to see what the deal was.

“Who parks like that…?”

“I don’t know but they’ve got to be a real nutjob to- ahhhh that explains it”

The moment they saw Ellie stumble outside with frazzled hair and shaky arms everything just clicked.

“Okay…maybe I should get a license…”

“OH REALLY?! YOU NEARLY KILL US AND ITS A “MAYBE”?! IF THOSE TWO ARE IDIOTS I CAN’T THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE!”

“OH COME ON YOU WOULD’VE BEEN DEAD IF I DIDN’T KILL THAT GUY!”

As Ellie and Sebastian continued arguing Bentley rolled his eyes in amusement while Valen took notice of the scene inside the limo since Lena and Sebastian were still in there. Wait, was he HOLDING her? He knew Sebastian was close with her considering he let her stay in his room almost every night due to her paranoia, but he also knew how much he hated physical touch…

Actually, looking back, he’s never been bothered by Lena touching him, even on nights when she dropped the professional airhead persona and got angry, she vented and laid her head on his side, tail, arm, anywhere really, and he never minded. And the fact that they had been disappearing almost every night wasn’t lost on him either…something was going on. Even now when he was practically screaming at Ellie with raw anger his hold on Lena was surprisingly gentle, and she looked quite comfortable despite it all…wait are those wrist weights-?

“Hm…”

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I just…don’t you think something’s going on between those two?”

Sebastian waited until the coast was clear for him to get out of the limo, it was a hassle considering his size but he managed to leave somewhat unscathed, he took Lena back into his arms and removed the wrist weights.

“How are they now…?”

“Huh, the tremors are gone, thank you”

“It’s fine, besides, they’re useful, you wouldn’t want to lose them”

“I can’t count the numbers without them so you have a point…”

Bentley watched on in hidden shock while Valen was in awe, who was this guy and what had he done to Sebastian?

“Did you see that…?!”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t go digging though, if he catches onto you bein’ suspicious he might get a little weird”

Bentley then turned to Ellie.

“And as for you, get that license asap because if you ended up killing them two I never would’ve forgiven you”

“I know…look, I’m sorry okay? It’s just, the driver my dad hired was actually a double agent who worked at that dumb place that kept the freak of nature all holed up-“

“Wait, what? An Urbanshade double agent almost drove you lot to your deaths?”

“I’m not a complete dummy Bentley I checked the ENTIRE limo to see if there were any tracking devices and other weird stuff but we were in the clear, and he’d be freaking out way more if we were actually in danger…”

“Yeah you’ve got a point…”

Valen looked panicked.

“Val it’s fine alright? They weren’t followed, and even if they did it’s a bunch of humans versus a massive sea monster they’d get stomped out”

“Okay, sorry, the thought of them showing up just…keeps me up at night sometimes”

“Yeah I know, you’ve been doing really well though mate”

“Yeah, you never would’ve come outside at night a few weeks ago, you should be really proud of yourself!”

“Thanks Elle…but can you try and re-park the limo the wonkiness is killing me”

“I’ll do it tomorrow I need to wash my hair…”

Valen sighed and helped Ellie inside since her coordination was almost as bad as Lena’s. Everyone came back into the house and Sebastian finally put Lena down onto the sofa.

“Thank you, sorry tonight was so hectic…”

“Don’t be, you’re the one who wanted to go out, I was just dragged along…”

Bentley observed them from afar and thought more about what Valen said earlier about them constantly going out at night, was he taking Lena to his trades? Maybe, but knowing him he would be boasting about it…hm…

This was something he needed to think long and hard about.

[starsofang]

you deserve hell fire for this chapter. my emotions are everywhere. do you get off on pain? do you hate me? do you hate your other readers? do you hate the 141? do you hate dove? DO YOU HATE HAPPINESS???

The description of Graves is absolutely and utterly fucking disgusting and I feel like puking reading about it so thank you for that angie 😐 how dare you let him put his hands on dove????? HE GRABBED AND AND PUSHED HER TO THE GROUND. “She’s getting kicked down repeatedly.” - You in my Dm’s 2 days ago. I DIDNT KNOW YOU MEANT LITERALLY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT IS WDONG WITH YOU😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 He put his nasty foot on her which okay first off, he needs to kill himself in the most violent way possible.

Im going to off on a nursing rant here because whenever I see injured mentioned in fanfiction my little nurse brain becomes happy. The pressure he would’ve had to put on her to actually crack and or break her rib is insane. People think it’s easy to break a rib but in reality ribs are protecting the heart, lungs and multiple other very needed organs. They NEED to be strong. He would’ve had to been practically stepping on her, he needed to be meaning to break her rib. Not to mention the healing process of broken ribs is excruciating. Anyways….

I come to your unholy abode to murder you with my screaming of how fucking amazing the chapter was despite my crying. The way they were worried about her, the way they were truly showing that she meant something to them and they weren’t just heartless brutes. I mean WE knew that but did she?? The wayJohn Fucking Price YELLS AND THREATENS GRAVES. THE WAY HE KNEW HOW TO HIT A NERVE. THE WAY HE COULD SHOW POWER EVEN WITH A GUN TO HIS HEAD. GIVE ME HIM NOW. MY LEGS ARW WIDE OPEN.

AND GAZ😭😭 “Talk to me, dove, I’m right here, focus on me.” WHAT THE FUCK😭😭 He worries so much about her, he fucking adores her and that’s what I love about Gaz and how you write him you crazy maniac. And as much as I would love to continue to speak about him let me skirt over to the fucking telescope. Why. why???? why would you sit here, make us think that the telescope was a sweet gift and even tease us with a kiss and the have graves STEAL IT?? THE LEAST YOU COULDVE DONE WAS GIVE US THAT DAMN KISS.???? My notes are progressively getting longer because I actually had typed out my opinion on the prophecy in my docs and i even MENTIONED the telescope before I was like “nah that doesn’t make sense.” YOY GASLIGHTED ME. WHAT DOES HE WANT WITH THAT DAMB THING.

THEM IMMEDIATELY GOING TO HER😭😭 GHOST FEELINGS GUILTY AND PRICE HATING WHAT HAPPENED😭😭 “We need a medic.” “She’s the medic!” That’s weirdly heartbreaking in a way that I could not put into words. Them all turning around hesitantly and not because they wan’t to be weirdos but because they are all so confused and concerned and don’t want to take their eyes off her. ESPECIALLY SOAP😭

Something is going to happen whilst they are on land looking for a doctor🤷🏼‍♀️ I just know you a bit too well by now.

THE KISS. THE KISS. THE KISS. THE KISS. ARE YOU GUYS HEARING ME. THE FUCKING KISS. HE GOT TO HER FIRST DESPITE EVERYTHING. “As long as I’m first.” OKAY SO MAYBE FUCK ME PLEASE?????????? HE STAYED WITH HER😭 SHE IS EVERYTHING TO THEM😭😭

IM KILLING YOU ANGIE😭😭😭😭

here comes my biggest opp 🙄

to be fair, i did warn u. in my own words, i said she got fucked up, i meant that shit. it’s my dream to write angst 😍 fun fact rlly fun fact i have a crush on cod graves so i had to make him as despicable as possible in this fic so i dont start to trip over him

i am no nurse, im working in a pharmacy for my degree (slay) but BOY DO I KNOW THAT SHIT HURTS. im the clumsiest person alive and ive broken so many bones that it’s sad atp. SO SOMEBODY UNDERSTANDS THE EXTENT OF A FRACTURE ESPECIALLY TO THE RIBS BECAUSE MY GOD THAT SHIT FEELS LIKE YOURE BREATHING THRU A JUICEBOX, PLS i had to make dove suffer as i have

THE ROOM SCENE WITH ALL OF THEM WAS MY FAVORITE TO WRITE UGHHHH FINALLY HAVING THEM ALL CONVERSING AS ONE AND SHARING THEIR WORRIES 😫 like a steak dinner istg

(i make no promises for next chapter, or the ones upcoming) (i have not planned it yet)

THE KISS I TOLD YOU TO TRUST MEEEE WHEN HAVE I EVER LET YOU DOWN. u were going crazy in my dms threatening murder and look here we are. u got ur wish. never falter in ur trust in me bc everybody knows by now when i say trust you trust 🗣️

also absolutely hearing you out on price. he’s a damn fine sir in this fic. it makes me hungry. i did it all for u.

I LOVE YOUUU 😜

[tinytimism]

thots on the great gatsby bway musical

let’s get right into it

-i liked it more than i thought i would. i saw boston gatsby back in june and after reading a lot of negative stuff about the one on broadway i thought i’d hate it but i went anyway because i am still not immune to jeremy jordan. but it was solid. i liked it.

-great chemistry between eva noblezada and jeremy jordan. also in the last scene of act 1 gatsby wears light pink and daisy wears light blue and i thought that was neat.

-really good dance numbers. watching jeremy jordan honest to god dance was like watching the big bang

-HATED how they paired jordan and nick as a romantic couple. i know they go on some days in the book but it’s so fake and loveless. nick is jordan’s gbf and jordan is nick’s lbf and you can’t take that away from me!!! ESPECIALLY after i saw boston gatsby!!!

-samantha pauly and alex prakken did great though - i have no complaints about the actors only the script.

-i had no problem with how george wilson is portrayed - all im saying is that his songs are definitely the to break in a glove of is show if you get what im saying

-didn’t like how they turned mr mckee into a sex pest creeping out poor heterosexual nick (and also into a weird joke about opened relationships??? like hello???)

-jeremy jordan’s translantic accent was cute.

-really liked how they did the pool.

-really like the ending - the ending of boston gatsby felt more hopeful while this one felt more cynical and both of them work in the context of the book.

overall i felt like boston gatsby was more earnest while broadway gatsby was more ironic - and both tones work fine! still think boston is the superior of the two tho

alright so now im gonna rant a little. i am pro-bootleg. i understand that bootlegs have given shows new life and have allowed them to prosper in ways they wouldn’t have been able to without bootlegs. i understand that nyc being a train ride away from me is a privilege few have and that a bootleg is very often the only way someone can experience a show. i am, however, anti coming in fifteen minutes late with your entire militia literally as soon as jeremy jordan makes his first entrance and taking videos and pictures while you’re in the second row (there’s a reason so many bootlegs are filmed from the balcony). in the beginning of the tea party scene where jeremy jordan’s the only person onstage i saw one of them take a picture of him and it made me really mad about how the damn phones have ruined the way we experience art and tainted the relationships of those who give us it - how we view them as products instead of artists or in this case performers.

to end this post on a positive note the stagedoor was a lot chiller than i had imagined it would be. i had brought one of my copies of the great gatsby from home for them to sign and everyone that came out did. by the time jeremy jordan came over i had mustered up the courage to ask them to sign it instead of awkwardly holding it out to them (eva noblezada and samantha pauly i am sooooooooooooooooooo sorry) and he said “i’ll sign your book!” and signed it so now my life’s kinda complete ig

(my signed book underneath the cut!)

[thecoochiefairy]

I just came back from a lil tumblr break (my sims fucked up again) and the next thing I see is som hoe saying “yu ignorant black bitches” like what in the ganglish is going on..

further more she definitely butt hurt over sum cause ain’t no way she went on a whole rant about her hate for black woman and then saying the no self respect…babygirl ain’t have respect for herself thinking she can send some weird ass shit like that and ain’t get clowned 😂 but anyways babes how you doing tdy?

ooooh sims. i never played 😩i gotta get me a PS5 Or something. but anyways, it’s really the lack of self respect to put all of your worth into a black man fetishizing over you. how stupid can you be???? and to literally come out of nowhere—babe we could’ve had this comedy show the night I was arguing w/ ole girl, to who I apologized to ! I got a lil defensive, but I stood on saying you’re not gonna tell me what to do with my writing, and if you don’t like it there’s plenty of other writers to choose from. you saying we’re ignorant but being illiterate, can’t spell? and saying nigga? i can’t even say you wanna be us so bad, cause ain’t ignorant, classless NOR illiterate. theeee fuck. anyways, im doing good chile. just @ work, sitting here waiting to have something to do. I been harassing all my coworkers like HEY ITS MY BIRTHDAY IN 3 DAYS, LMAO. but how are you feeling bookie?

[soemthingsparkly]

i would absolutely love to share a rant!

all the characters are so psychologically fucked up in such a realistic way that i didn't see represented much. grian venting to tango about feeling left out. the fact that he felt left out at all over something so small. they're so codependent and i love it.

and then there's scott and jimmy's dynamic. scott kissing jimmy and then jimmy venting to grian and then grian just responding with "HE DID WHAT??????" and then at the cafe. the idea of someone doing something they shouldn't have and then having a panic attack over a third party's opinion on it is so... idk how to say it. like i said, a type of fucked up that you don't see talked about much and i relate so hard to it. it's clear scott's probably trying his best out at least trying a lot to not hurt jimmy but he's failing miserably and i don't think he even realizes it. and like. yeah. ive been there. i don't actually know why scott broke up with him but i get the vibe it was supposed to be like. to help jimmy in some way. like "oh wait ive been toxic maybe i should end this for his sake". but doing that obviously hurt jimmy, especially since he didn't say *why* he did it. and scott obviously did something really drastic and sudden so he's not doing well either and he really wants to go back to jimmy. he knows he's being manipulative and it's not on purpose but in trying to stop and be better he keeps making things worse. and like. this is all a side thing. this fic is mostly about mumscarian and you threw in this flower husbands sideplot but it's still so fleshed out and so *real*.

and speaking of the mumscarian thing the way you write their friendships, especially grian and mumbo's is amazing. it's not like. a stepping stone to a romantic relationship even though they are going to end up in one. very "not more than friends, different from friends" vibes /vpos. it doesn't feel like they're ending up in a romantic relationship. it feels like they're making their relationship romantic and i love that so much.

grian just texting mumbo that he's bored gives such hcs7 vibes and like he yeah they're so codependent and it's so obvious from grian's side my god

and the way you write pearl is amazing, she's got this sibling energy and it's great.

the way you write all of them is amazing actually. i can hear everything they say in their voices. the clockers are on point, especially scar and bdubs.

i could keep going im sure lmao but anyway great fic i love it if you read this ill cry /pos

This has been sitting in my ask box for a while because I just love it so much anon and I was like~~~ how do I respond to such a long ask with the same level of enthusiam?

I wanna break this ask into chunks and there's bits of your ask I wanna respond to directly, so...

all the characters are so psychologically fucked up in such a realistic way that i didn't see represented much.

I'm glad you think so! I definitely feel like I'm being a little bit risky with how I'm presenting some of the, I suppose, human consequences of being human?

I think a lot of what fandom (in general) consumes gets a little over-sanitised these days. Our favourite characters aren't allowed to be flawed like real people, they must be flawed in a way that is either endearing, entertaining (sarcastic or snarky), or easily forgivable.

But that's not always that interesting when it comes to wanting characters we can truly relate to?

Grian gets upset he's left out not just because he has Trauma™, but because he does have a co-dependancy on Mumbo that borders on unhealthy. Tango tells Grian to, in not so many words, get over himself and try and have fun - not because he knew Grian would respond well to it, but because he's blunt and doesn't know how to comfort people gently. Bdubs makes fun of Scar for being disabled, because he knows that everybody in that group chat understands he's joking and that his comments will never leave that group chat (in-world that is, of course, everybody who reads the fic will read them).

And Scott for example, is not a very well-liked character amongst readers at the moment, but he's absolutely one of my favourite to write. You put it pretty well here:

he knows he's being manipulative and it's not on purpose but in trying to stop and be better he keeps making things worse.

Like yes, exactly. He's trying to do better, but the actions he takes that he thinks (or is being co-erced into believing via mental illness) will make things better, keep making things worse and he doesn't really understand how to do it right. And haven't we all been in that position before?

And yet up until chapter 17, we've only ever seen into their dynamic from the outside. We've only ever seen Scott's actions from Jimmy's POV or from the POV of someone who cares about Jimmy.

And somehow it's Jimmy, of all people, defending Scott.

It's absolutely fascinating to see readers reactions and I'd be so happy to talk about this forever and ever and ever, hehehe.

And what you said about Mumbo and Grian's relationship, here:

very "not more than friends, different from friends" vibes /vpos. it doesn't feel like they're ending up in a romantic relationship. it feels like they're making their relationship romantic and i love that so much.

I'm actually SO glad you feel that way about them, because that's exactly the way I feel about them, too. They're not just friends, so much as they're Grian and Mumbo. The idea of them being friends almost suggests an alternative of them being not friends and I just don't there's a way in this world that they can exist and be without one another. So yes, I love this a lot and I love that you feel that way about them.

Thank you so much for this absolutely beautiful message - I am such a fan of analysing characters and their interactions and all that. Frankly, thank you for giving me a space to talk at length about the way these characters are in this fic!!

Here is a tissue for the tears, I hope you don't cry too hard. Remember to stay hydrated <333

Lumi <3