#anyways obviously i have no idea of how to make funny compilations so enjoy some cringe sounds mixed with my poor attempt of humor lol

[sebbyomg]

@summerofbuddie ⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊ WEEK 3: out of your comfort zone

A little summary of Eddie's experiences throughout the last season! ✦ Watch him get involved in “special” situations, progressively get more partners and make some dubious decisions!

[bananban-feature]

Seventeen: Hoshi

(It took me a while to write this because... I’m also not sure. There’s a lot of ideas here and there and my mind is all over the place. But here it goes.)

Hoshi appreciation time! I’m here to talk about another one of my biases in my bias group that I love so much, Seventeen. Hoshi is incredibly talented and creative, fun with an extremely loveable personality! Now, where do I start?

Talent

Dance - This talent is pretty obvious as he is the leader of the performance unit, which is equivalent to the team of the main dancers of the group. (Other Seventeen members who aren’t part of this unit are already really good dancers, so this unit is really something.)

Stage Presence and Energy - A big part of what I like about Hoshi’s performances is not simply his dance - it’s his energy and attitude. I especially like it when he performs with intensity, like his Fearless intro dance with the drums (GDA 2021). I remember watching a clip of their Ode To You in Manila concert on Youtube and seeing Hoshi  made me really wish I was there. (I only became a Carat after this, during quarantine.) It’s like he’s a ball of energy that hypes people up. 

His duality is INSANE. He knows how to use his facial expressions and charisma that would make you feel the intensity of the music and fall for him on stage. And yet irl he’s absolutely adorable.

Singing - With Hoshi being such a main dancer already, you wouldn’t think he would have good vocals, but Hoshi is actually a lead singer too! In fact, in Performance unit, he is the main vocals. He has a powerful voice!

Rap - Hoshi is the main rapper in their super fun sub-unit BooSeokSoon. (Sure, he’s not actually the best singer or rapper there is in all of kpop, but he really has the talent for it.) There are many songs only a few people can pull off but he does. His energy and attitude in “Just Do It” by BSS and “Bring It” is next level, and absolutely necessary for the song to be successful.

Songwriting - This hasn’t been much (you know, as much as Woozi), but Hoshi has also participated in writing some of their songs, and even composed some with the help of Bumzu/Woozi! He co-wroteThanks with Woozi and Bumzu.

In general, I just also love Hoshi’s confidence in his talents. He knows his strengths, he isn’t afraid to showcase all the good things he can do, and he recognizes when he performs well. Confident, but not bragging. He’s just so real and so passionate about performing.

Performance Unit Leader & Choreographer

I have a lot to say about this because the first thing that really struck me about Seventeen is the absolutely beautiful choreography and incredible synchronization. It is the reason why I really checked them out in the first place after seeing a video of them dancing to Don’t Wanna Cry in x2 speed.

Choreography - Hoshi co-choreographs the Seventeen performances with a choreographer hyung/noona, and also with the help of the performance team. (I am not disregarding the work of the pro choreographers, who in fact, did such an amazing job, but I’ve seen some people dismiss Hoshi’s contributions to these. Hoshi himself doesn’t brag about it, and ALWAYS mentions the choreographers that helped them.) There are a lot of records of him working on the choreo and formations, and there are interviews with Seventeen members, Hoshi himself, and even the choreographer hyungs that talk about his work. There’s a lot of hard work involved in this, especially when you have to think about 13 people’s positions in each scene. It just requires a lot of brain power! To add to that, Hoshi is incredibly creative! He is able to take inspiration from random objects (such as street lamps), and turn it into story-telling choreography (DWC example, skip to 1:32, this is an amazing video). I really love Seventeen's choreography, and I think they have one of the best choreographies in kpop! They are my all-time favorite in this area.

Leadership - (Obviously, they practice these dances also with the help of the choreographer hyungs too, but Hoshi really leads the whole group in terms of the performance.) Hoshi is strict and particular even with the tiniest details, angles and timing. I definitely think this is one of the biggest reasons why Seventeen is so good with their dance and are called Kings of Synchronization. Not only do they practice a lot, but I think they all really work hard because they’ve developed this sense of meticulousness in choreo that Hoshi imparted.

***Hoshi said himself that he’s a quick-tempered person. The members have actually shared their accounts of how Hoshi was as a performance leader - strict, not very patient, and has a tendency to say harsh words when they did not meet his expectations. (He’s the opposite of Minghao in Idol Producer. Normally, this impatient teaching style would get me pissed, but Hoshi as a teacher to Seventeen is different. Unlike the ordinary teacher-student relationship, Hoshi has a very close friendship with the members like family. Even when there are hurts and arguments during practice, they are able to talk about it, fix and overcome it.) It seems Hoshi has changed from this harshness though. And now the members are able to talk and laugh about it freely as memories from their earlier years.

Personality

Hoshi is so talented, but what really drew me into him was his outstanding personality. People who only look at Hoshi on stage might get shocked because Hoshi in real life is like a cute crazy hamster. (Oops, I meant “tiger”, horanghae!)

Hoshi is hilarious and adorable at the same time. It’s almost like a toddler in a grown man’s body. He says the silliest things and acts the silliest way! What makes him funny is not just because he tries hard to be funny by making jokes. He’s just naturally funny - the definition of chaotic comedy, major crackhead energy! His overhyping is hilarious. And his randomness will make you laugh. I love that he is unapologetically himself, accepting himself in all his weirdness. And no one can stop his tiger agenda.  🐯 🐯 🐯

Don’t Lie I & II are two of the first episodes I watched in Going Seventeen. I was so in love with Hoshi, especially after Don’t Lie II. He was so chaotic and crazy, but also very intelligent! It really was a successful game because of his incredible deduction (with the help of Seungkwan, of course). And my gosh, the way he copied Seungkwan (and even Vernon) in their 5th Anniversary is legendary! That’s both talent in comedy and talent in acting!

Despite being this comedian, he is often seen being very sweet to the rest of the members. Honestly, unless they are in the practice room or when he needs to protect the members, Hoshi is one of those who’s often like a fake maknae in the group because he’s so cute. (Okay, except Woozi always rejects his hugs. lol) He’s also sweet to the fans and interacts with them a lot.

Hoshi’s Visuals

He may not be an official visual but nowadays, I am really appreciating his looks. I’ve always found him cute (like a child-like cute). Even in his old videos as a rookie, he has a cute and fun visual. But he really has a face with nice proportions. Honestly, he’s growing more and more mature each day. And recently, I’m just loving his visuals so much as a handsome guy.

Like...look at this beauty?

///Update, March 2021: As I predicted, Hoshi has been showing his handsome boyfriend look more and more.

A better look of the last photo, whew:

*** update done ///

This post is waaaaaaay longer than I planned it to be. There’s just too many things to appreciate about Hoshi.

Anyway, here are random things I found you also might enjoy:

Article on Hoshi as a dancer/performer (The title is misleading, but this is actually a great compilation of amazing Hoshi and Seventeen dance things.) 

Reddit thread on Hoshi’s talents

IDK, random Hoshi YT compilations (1) and (2)

The Leader Line

I’ve written about my top biases right now: Woozi (previous post) and Hoshi, hard-working members for the team. In general, I really appreciate the leader line. At a young age, they led a group of teens to rise to the top of a very demanding industry. This is real life leadership with real life issues and pressures. They had a huge responsibility, it wasn’t playtime. (Great job to S.Coups, too, for being able to handle the crazy kids and keep them in order together. Imagine having to think about the individual issues of 13 people!)

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to talk more about them soon in my Seventeen members general appreciation post!

[mtvswatches]

Friends 2x08 The One With The List

Previous Recaps

In a nutshell: Everyone finds out about THE KISS. Chandler buys a laptop. Ross writes a list. Monica works for Mockolate. There’s a lot of staring at the rain out the window while U2 plays in the background.

Chandler: Chandler gets a new laptop and he’s obsessed, and honestly? Same. He then comes up with the idea that Ross should create a PROS/CONS list for both Julie and Rachel so that he can decide who to be with… because that’s exactly how all matters of the heart should be decided, right? To Chandler’s credit, he feels terribly sorry for coming up with the idea of the list and for not thinking on his feet and preventing Rachel from reading it (not that she didn’t deserve to know, but she deserved to have her feelings spared, you know?)

Joey: Joey’s solution for Ross’s conundrum? Threesome. But he’s the biggest fangirl once Ross breaks up with Julie and Rachel shows up at the apartment. I always loved Joey’s softer side.

Monica: Monica gets a job for Mockolate, creating Thanksgiving recipes. It’s a somewhat “comic” – in the “I know this is supposed to make me go haha” sense – relief in the midst of all the Ross-Rachel drama. Mockolate doesn’t get the FDA approval in the end, but Monica earns her pay anyway. And she also probably got some side effects.

Phoebe: Ross asks Phoebe to play a song in order to defuse the awkwardness of the situation - Julie showing up at the coffee shop, oblivious to the fact that her boyfriend had been smooching with Rachel the night before. Phoebe then played the iconic song “Two of Them Kissed Last Night”. HE MUST DECIDE.

Rachel: Rachel shares her excitement with the girls about THE KISS. Her exhilaration quickly dwindles, though, as she sees how A) Ross is still with Julie and hasn’t either told her about them nor has he broken up with her, and B) Ross hasn’t called her. Ross was already making her question her own worth. In the end, Ross kind of made up his mind, and Rachel is so happy that he’s going to get her coat, and then she sees the list on the computer (how contrived was the way she had to parade herself all through the apartment in order for her to face the computer and read what was on the screen? Why didn’t they just leave the computer on the kitchen counter? Did the computer have to be next to the printer, is that why?) And then the printer starts working. The boys try to distract her, but it’s too late, she saw her name there and she needs to know what it was about. Rachel OBVIOUSLY outsmarts them, and ends up reading the list. Kind of ditzy. Too into her looks. Spoiled. Just a waitress. Ouch. She’s disappointed and hurt, and rightfully so. To this day, Rachel words still hit close to home:  “Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.” There’s no worse feeling in the world than having someone you love spew at you the most awful things you think of yourself but try to convince yourself are not true – when they say those things, it’s confirmation that they’re true, and that you’re not good enough. I applaud Rachel for standing her ground and not letting Ross walk all over her. But it’s painful to watch her be so heartbroken.

Ross: I see how the contrast they showed between the girls and the boys reacting to Ross and Rachel’s kiss is supposed to be funny, but who are we kidding? Ross would actually act like one of the girls. This is the guy who has been holding a torch for the same girl SINCE THE 9TH FUCKING GRADE. Am I really supposed to buy that he would just be: “oh yeah I kissed her, tongue, yeah”? REALLY? He’s been DREAMING about this moment for YEARS, literally. I’d say he would be a tad more excited, right? While he is excited about the prospect of being with Rachel, he is still very much in a committed relationship with Julie. They were about to get a cat, remember? And this is the episode where Ross’s “Nice Guy” schtick starts to show. He says he feels all torn about it, but if he truly were, he would’ve told Julie what happened the previous night. Instead, he continues to pretend everything is okay with Julie while making Rachel feel like the other woman. He was the one who came back to the coffee shop, remember? He was the one in a relationship, who shouldn’t have cheated on their partner, right? Anyway, Ross follows Chandler’s advice to compile a list comparing Julie and Rachel. And while it is sweet how Julie’s biggest con was that she was not Rachel, the whole comparison thing is simply despicable – especially considering how quickly he came up with the list of flaws for Rachel. Eventually, he does the right thing – sort of – and breaks things off with Julie. Goodbye, Julie. You won’t be missed, but you were a nice girl who deserved much better than Ross Geller. Ross thought he could have his cake and eat it too, but Rachel did not want anything to do with him after reading his list. He then climbs into the girls’ balcony, with a list of all the things he loves about Rachel. Which would’ve been an amazing romantic gesture. You know, if he hadn’t written that other list in the first place. There’s no convincing Rachel, though. Ross reasons that if things were the other way around, there was nothing she could’ve said that would make him not want to be with her. Which is 100% unverifiable. There’s no way to know he would’ve been so mighty. Actually, considering how petty he can be, I’d wager he wouldn’t let it go, but whatever. His argument is proven invalid, though, when Rachel argues that she would never write the list in the first place. Ross gives it one last shot – he sends a song request to a radio show, with a message for Rachel.  But not even the radio host is on Ross’s side.

One Iconic Scene:

Ross and Rachel’s first break-up in front of the whole gang.

Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[thespaceace124]

Tv shows I watched this year, my favorite character from each, and why I like each character.

Since my past few posts about Fandom/TV shows have been kinda negative/ criticism, to end off the year, I wanted to make a few posts about things that I like in media. So today we’ll be taking a look at all the shows I watched/finished this year and my favorite characters from each.

Space Force: Captain Angela Ali. Its been a hot minute since I watched Space force, but iirc she’s just… done like 99% of the time with all of her superiors, but in the ten episodes we get, we see some fun little character moments from her. Like in the war games episode where she has to grapple with being an amazing book student, but has a hard time applying some of the stuff she learned at the military academy in a “combat” situation and has to sort of learn and take the lead from one of her “underlings” who is better in that sort of situation. Also, the bonding moments she has with Chan, like when they’re on the road trip, and when she asks him for help learning some science stuff so she can be more useful on missions and stuff. (again, its been a while since I’ve watched this one so my memory of it is a little foggy)

Stargate SG-1: Colonel Jack O’Neill. I like the tope he falls into of the very surface level sort of gruff military man, doesn’t like talking about his feelings, makes smart ass remarks, asks people who talk to much to get to the point, he’s a very fun character, and adds a lot of fun lightheartedness to the show and is generally enjoyable to have on screen. Also tends to get the most character development, at least regarding his past and sort of why the way that he is. (I would say Teal’c gets the second most), also the reason I got into stargate, as my dad showed me a compilation of him being a smart ass and I was like “oh ho ho, I gotta see more of this guy”

Doctor Who (specifically seasons 11 and 12): The Doctor. I like this version of the Doctor, I like that she a little more lighthearted chaotic as opposed to the previous Doctor, who I would describe as dark chaotic, (at least in s11) and just very fun to be around and watch on screen. Also, I think that the rest of the fam is a little bit underdeveloped? Like, we got a lot of fun stuff for Ryan and Graham in the premier with them being a part of a family unit and then at the end of the season we got a nice little scene of them bonding and Ryan calling him grandad and then in s12 there’s like none of that??? And with Yaz we get that she’s kinda got the usual female companion backstory (not a big fan of her job, not happy living with her family, wants *More* out of life) and then we learn that she got bullied as a kid, and at one point she tried to run away, but a kindhearted cop and her sister??? Managed to keep her in Sheffield. So, I feel a little bit like the doctor is my favorite as a default just because we already know the doctors story, so we’ve just pasted a new personality onto a familiar character.

Deep Space Nine (started 2019): Major Kira Nerys. Straight up the reason this character is my favorite is because my dad said I remind him of her and that makes me feel nice. Also, Nana Visitor is very pretty. Also I like that she takes 0 shit from anyone, including Sisko, but we also get to see her learn and grow  from “I will always voice my disagreement no matter what” to “There is a time and a place to object” and also a little bit of learning that sometimes you have to work with people who’ve hurt you and sometimes that sucks. Anyway, she’s a grade A badass and I love her.

Voyager (started 2019): Captain Kathryn Janeway. Like my reasons for Kira, I think Janeway is a badass, and that Kate Mulgrew is very pretty. But also, I think Janeway is a badass in a different way than Kira is, simply because their characters are in very different situations. But I think Janeway is portrayed to be handling things extremely well, and doing what needs be done, obviously that wasn’t super looked at as they did want to keep the tone of voyager relatively light, but anyway, I like Janeway because she’s someone to look up to, to want to incorporate traits of into your own behavior.

Picard: Rafaella “Raffi” Musiker. I like Raffi because she is one of the most consistent characters in Picard. See imo Picard suffers from having too much on its plate, and also it drops/ abandons too many characters. With a show that has only 10 episodes, especially in a first season, you can’t do that. So, with Raffi being in the majority of the episodes, with consistent characterization that makes sense, and working as someone who can actually keep Picard in check? That’s the best character in the show. Also, I think of actors not seen in Star Trek before, she’s one of the better ones and that makes her better.

Lower Decks: Ensign Beckett Mariner. I love a chaotic smartass. Also, for as much as I love LD being a relatively slice of life comedy, I love that Mariner got a ton of characterization in the last few episodes, especially exploring her relationship with her mom, and people who knew her at the academy. She’s super fun, I love how she’s almost always dunking on Boimler, but also really cares for him and doesn’t want to see him hurt. Again, she’s just super fun to see on screen, I love that she doesn’t really like authority figures, and is content to figure herself out while being a relatively low-ranking officer. I like Mariner because she is both sure of herself, but not totally sure what she wants to do with her career, which is something that Star Trek has never explored before, and I think its super interesting.

Discovery: Commander Michael Burnham. I think a trend with a lot of the characters on this list is that I personally find them cool and/or pretty, and once again that also applies to Michael here, but also, I like her because Michael as a concept is fascinating. Like the idea of being a child who goes through a trauma and then is immediately whisked away to a place where she can’t actually process it? And then as a result grows up emotionally constipated and only in her 30s, is sort of finally able to shed that and actually learn how to be healthy with her emotions? Absolutely fascinating, I love that. I also love that we can kind of see that her upbringing and the suppression of emotions as a child still effects the choices that she’s made to this day. Its super cool, and I think one of the best parts of discovery.

Ratched: Nurse Mildred Ratched. I don’t have anything really important to say here, I just tend to like the main characters of tv shows because by default they get the most development/ back story or whatever, and honestly this is one of those shows that I enjoyed enough to watch all ten episodes, and then never picked it up again, so. Ehhh

Dexter: Dexter Morgan. I like Dexter Morgan because he’s a man who has always been told he doesn’t have emotions, but as the show goes on you can totally see that he does have emotions, he just doesn’t know how to handle them, and that they don’t present themselves in the same way that “normal” people’s do. Like, I fully believe that Dexter did actually love Rita, Harry jr., Deb, and Hannah. But I also believe he didn’t fully know how to cope with those emotions, because instead of getting his son help Harry Morgan decided to turn his son into a killing machine, which was a Choice.

Hannibal: Will Graham. I liked watching him kinda fall into Hannibal’s co-dependency trap. Character regression baybee. But like, that’s what happens, I’m pretty sure at one point they both admit that they aren’t healthy for each other, but they also cant live w/o each other. Which is not a dynamic I personally had seen delved into in media before I watched this show. I just think he’s neat.

ATLA: Toph Beifong. I like Toph because I think she provides a nice foil to Aang, whilst also not going too far into the opposite direction. She’s decisive, she knows for the most part what she wants from this adventure, and mostly how to go about getting it, while also discovering a new family along the way. I also just like the way that she can and will throw a boulder at you if she thinks you deserve it.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina: Sabrina Spellman. Again, sort of falling into the “I tend to like the main character by default folder” It’s also been a hot minute since I watched this show, so I’m just gonna say that I like Sabrina because she is always the one getting her own self into trouble by being Different. And while I’m not saying that it is always good to conform and do what is expected of you, all of the issues in the show are caused by Sabrina (for the most part). Season one is all about shit falling apart if she doesn’t sign the book, season two is her shaking things up at the witch academy and also not wanting to be the princess of hell (understandable, but again, still her fault) and the whole plot of season 3 is the fallout of her imprisoning the devil and then also being too cocky with the guy made of clay. She’s far too cocky, and I think that’s super funny in regards to how it gets her into situations she’s not really prepared for.

The Coroner (BBC): Beth Kennedy. I watched this show with my stepmom, and in this show, Beth tends to be the one who lightens the mood a lot, so she’s my favorite character b/c of that.

[metalbatandzenko]

Spaghetti and Juiceboxes

@aforrestofstuff Happy Birthday b!!!

I love you and I’m so glad we’re friends🥺🥺🥺

As a fellow Zombieman Simp™ I had to write that good Zombiedad Content™. Enjoy b :)

“He’s practically an adult Zombieman,” the minister said, jogging to catch up with the hero. “This isn’t just some ordinary child we’re talking about.”

Zombieman didn’t bother stopping, or looking over at the man. “I’m aware he isn’t an ordinary child, Minister Tetsuya. But that doesn’t mean he should be raising himself.”

It was rare for Zombieman to get angry with the Hero Association—he’d long since grown numb to their particular brand of incompetence.

But this was a new low.

The fact they had legally emancipated the kid—his genius be damned—was absurd. As was their insistence that it was the right decision.

“He won’t be,” Tetsuya argued. “This just ensures that he maintains his freedom and agency, and that—”

Zombieman cut him off. “That you’re able to continue to lean on him and contract him for any of the Hero Association’s needs, which no sane parent would allow?”

Tetsuya flinched at the accusation and looked away, which was all the answer Zombieman needed.

“So if he is not going to be raising himself, who will?”

The minister didn’t answer him, instead choosing to fiddle with the sleeve of the suit that probably cost more than Zombieman’s entire paycheck.

“That’s what I thought,” Zombieman said with a sigh. “Look, I can’t tell Hikaru how to live his life any more than you can. But even with his smarts, at the end of the day, he’s still a kid. He needs guidance, and support that he can’t provide for himself.”

“But—”

Zombieman held up his hand, and the minister shut up. “Unless you plan on fixing this, this conversation is over."

He walked off before the minister could respond.

After he’d put some distance between the two of them, he pulled off into one of the conference rooms that lined the halls.

Slumping into one of the chairs, he lit a cigarette and kicked his feet up on the table. Zombieman took a long drag, closing his eyes and leaning his head back as he exhaled.

He felt his heartbeat slow.

The hero still wasn’t quite sure how his body worked. Sometimes he could feel his heartbeat and others he could feel the muscle sitting cold, heavy, and still in his chest. He obviously didn’t need it, seeing as he could survive without his entire chest cavity , but it still beat every once in a while.

He heard the door open, and the distinctive tap of Sitch’s steel-toed shoes.

The minister huffed. “Do you have to smoke indoors Augustus?”

“Did you agree to this, Sitch?” Zombieman asked, not bothering to open his eyes or answer Sitch’s question.

“No,” Sitch said, settling into the chair next to him. “I did not.”

Zombieman cracked open an eye. “How did this even become an issue?”

The minister sighed. “You weren’t present at the last S-Class meeting.”

“At your request,” Zombieman reminded him. “You wanted me to scope out that monster nest.”

Sitch nodded. “After the meeting, Metal Bat invited Child Emperor and his parents over for dinner—apparently he and Metal Bat’s younger sister Zenko have been having play-dates”

Zombieman hummed. He was aware of that. He had been the one who encouraged Hikaru to venture out and make friends in the first place.

“Hikaru told Metal Bat that his parents weren’t around anymore, and Metal Bat had a conniption fit. He yelled at us asking if we knew, and told Hikaru something along the lines of ‘that’s it, I’m adopting you, you little shit’.” The minister chucked. “It would have been funny if I wasn’t afraid he was going to kill us.”

“Did you know?” Zombieman asked.

Sitch shook his head. “I had my suspicions, but they weren’t confirmed until then.”

Zombieman swallowed down his retort about the minister not bothering to try to confirm his suspicions before that point. “How did Hikaru respond?”

“He seemed a little insulted,” Sitch replied.

Zombieman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Badd isn’t known for his tact. I’m guessing he thought Badd was insulting his maturity.”

Sitch hummed in agreement. “After all the hubbub died down and Metal Bat had been placated, Hikaru brought the idea of legal emancipation to us. His argument was that he’d already been living by himself for two years in secret, so he was entirely self-sufficient.” The minister rubbed his face. “The boy left so we could deliberate, and other officials brought up that it was more cost effective to emancipate him than to find him a suitable home, especially given his genius. My protests were quickly shot down, and I was outvoted.”

“I thought he should be placed with one of the S or A-Class heroes,” Sitch continued. “Someone who would understand what it was like to be so extraordinary, and to shoulder the burden of the public’s safety.”

“Anyone in particular?” Zombieman asked.

He knew it was foolish to ask and to get his hopes up. But—a not-so-small part of him hoped that Sitch had suggested him.

“I threw Stinger and Superalloy out there,” Sitch replied. “Stinger’s got a large family and experience with raising kids, and Superalloy’s responsible and kindhearted. I would have suggested Metal Bat, but you know how I feel about him being on his own with his sister at his age to begin with.”

The minister gave him a look. “But I think you know who my top suggestion was.”

Zombieman took another drag of his cigarette. “Well, it’s too late now anyways. The kid’s emancipated, and that’s not something that you can just undo.”

“I’m aware.” Sitch pushed back his chair and stood. “But I think you should consider talking to him.”

The minister excused himself before Zombieman could reply.

Zombieman pulled out his phone and tapped the messaging icon.

Zombieman at 3:52pm: Hey kid, I’m thinking of making pasta for dinner. Want to swing by?

The response was almost instantaneous.

Hikaru at 3:52pm: Sure! Let me finish up what I’m working on, and I’ll be right over.

Zombieman at 3:52pm: No hurry I’m on my way back right now

Feel free to let yourself in and help yourself to whatever if you get there before me

You know the drill

Hikaru 3:53pm: Sounds like a plan. See you soon!

Zombieman smiled down at his phone screen.

He hadn’t been planning on making pasta, but it was a sure-fire way to get the kid over for dinner. And he knew Hikaru probably hadn’t eaten a good meal in a week.

Zombieman put out his cigarette and walked out of the meeting room.

---

Hikaru had beaten him home if the record playing from inside his apartment was any indication.

Zombieman smiled as he fumbled with his key.

The kid had offered him more advanced music players in the past, and was perplexed by Zombieman’s preference for records.

But he liked the warmth and fullness of records. Maybe it made him an old fogey.

But Hikaru no longer questioned it, instead creating a device that could make new compilation records of Zombieman’s favorite artists and songs.

He turned the key and pushed open the door. “I thought you didn’t like this song,” he said by way of greeting, hanging his trench coat on his coatrack.

Hikaru lit up when he saw him. “Ojisan! It’s good to see you.”

“How have you been, kid?” Zombieman asked, turning to lock the door behind him.

“I’ve been good!” Hikaru said, perching on the arm of one of Zombieman’s overstuffed leather chairs. “Just doing some tinkering on devices for the Hero Association, grading papers, the usual.”

Zombieman noted the kid had grabbed one of the apple juice-boxes he stowed in the mini-fridge.

Hikaru shifted, slipping down from the arm of the chair into the seat. “How have you been August-ji?”

Zombieman grabbed a juice-box from the fridge. He would have preferred some scotch, but he wasn’t about to drink that in front of a kid. “Nothing out of the ordinary,” he said, stabbing his straw into the juice-box. “Sitch sent me on that recon mission—”

Hikaru perked up. “Oh the one to the monster nest! How did that go?”

“—but it turned out to be a false alarm,” Zombieman finished, crossing his arms over his chest. “Which you would have known if you hadn’t interrupted me.”

Hikaru flushed. “Sorry ojisan,” he mumbled.

“You’re fine,” Zombieman said, taking a sip of his juice. He swallowed. “Really, I’m one to talk.”

He shifted his weight onto his right foot. “I'm gonna get going on dinner, you want to help?”

Hikaru nodded.

“Alright, go wash your hands.”

The boy jumped up and ran to the bathroom, abandoning his juice-box.

Zombieman chuckled, picked up the unfinished juice-box and replaced it with his own, then he made his way to the kitchen, placing it on the counter.

He pushed up his sleeves and turned on the faucet, running his hands under the too-hot water. His nerves were fried to shit, and it wasn’t like it’d do any damage anyways.

Something about looking down on his unblemished hands unnerved him. He’d been in more fights than he could remember, and had destroyed his hands during many scuffles, but they didn’t bear any signs of that past. Even Hikaru’s hands were more scarred than his, a fact that made Zombieman’s stomach turn.

“Ready!” Hikaru declared, derailing Zombieman’s train of thought.

He turned off the water and turned to face the boy. “Alright, grab the tomatoes, a white and a yellow onion, the oregano and basil from the fridge for me, they’re in the produce drawer. While you’re in there, get the cream and parmesan.”

Hikaru nodded and opened the fridge.

In the meantime, Zombieman pulled out a colander, saucepan, pot, wooden spatula, two cutting boards, and two knives.

He heard the produce thud as it hit the counter.

“The garlic, spaghetti, and salt are in the cabinet.”

Zombieman slid the kiddie stool out from under his cabinets with his foot and moved it in front of the sink.

The rest of the ingredients joined the produce, cream, and cheese on the counter.

He handed Hikaru the tomatoes and the colander. “You get started on washing these while I get the onions going.”

Hikaru glared at the stool in front of the sink. “Is this necessary?”

“Can you reach the sink without it?”

The boy opened his mouth to make a snappy retort, then closed it again.

“That’s what I thought,” Zombieman said, peeling off the outer layers of the onions. “You’ll grow eventually, kid. Look at me, I didn’t get my growth spurt until I was fifteen.”

“Since when do you remember your past, August-ji?” Hikaru asked.

Zombieman shrugged, cutting the white onion in half. “I don’t. But it was worth a try.”

The kid made a face, but stepped up onto the stool.

He bit back a laugh, and went to work mincing his onions.

One of the benefits of being undead was that onions no longer effected his eyes. He could chop away at them for hours, and never even sniffle.

“Besides,” Zombieman said, pushing the chopped onion to the side. “Zenko’s still shorter than you.”

“That doesn’t mean much when her brother’s a shrimp,” Hikaru grumbled, placing the tomatoes on the counter.

Zombieman snorted. “You better not let Badd hear you say that,” he said, handing Hikaru the herbs.

He made quick work of the yellow onion and pushed it towards the white onion.

 “How is that tiny terror these days?” Zombieman asked. He grabbed a tomato.

“She’s good,” Hikaru replied, placing the clean herbs on the counter. “She’s working on a new piece for her piano lessons.”

He slid the footstool over in front of the empty cutting board. “I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so utterly unimpressed by me.”

Zombieman choked back a laugh. “Well, it’s not like you’re the only S-Class hero she knows,” he reasoned, slicing into the tomato. “Is she mean to you?” He asked, concern coloring his voice.

Hikaru was extraordinary. And different. And while different was good, different was also targeted.

He knew that well enough.

“No,” Hikaru replied, grabbing the garlic. “She’s sweet. Really stubborn, but sweet.”

“Huh, I can’t think of anyone else who fits that description,” Zombieman said, cutting the last of the tomatoes.

Hikaru stuck his tongue out at him. “I know, but she’s really stubborn,” he said. He paused. “She treats me like I’m normal. It’s…nice.”

Zombieman nodded. “It is, isn’t it?”

He turned around and dumped the tomatoes and onions into the pan on the stovetop. “You almost done with that garlic, ‘karu?” he asked.

Hikaru shook his head. “I’ve only gotten through two cloves,” he replied.

“Okay, you keep working on that,” Zombieman said.

He grabbed the pot and placed it in the sink, then turned on the water.

After it was two-thirds of the way full, he lifted it out of the sink and onto the stove.

“I can finish the garlic for you,” Zombieman offered.

Hikaru shook his head again. “No need. It’s done.”

He poured the garlic into the saucepan.

Zombieman smiled and turned on the burner. “Good job. Could you hand me the—”

Hikaru passed him the spatula before he could finish the sentence.

“Thanks.”

The boy nodded and got to work clearing the counter, placing the cutting boards in the sink and tossing the tomato ends and onion skins in the bag.

He handed Zombieman the herbs. “You forgot these, ojisan,” he said.

“I have to wait for this to reduce a bit,” Zombieman explained. “Otherwise, it’ll just burn them on the bottom of the pan.”

“Oh,” Hikaru said, hopping up onto the counter. “I guess I should have known that.”

Zombieman shrugged. “Just because you’re a genius doesn’t mean you’re infallible, kid. Sometimes you just forget. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

Hikaru hummed and took a sip of his juice. “So when do the cream and cheese go in?” he asked.

“After the herbs,” Zombieman replied, sprinkling salt onto the tomatoes. “Do you mind salting the water for the pasta? This’ll go quick.”

Hikaru hopped off the counter and grabbed the salt from Zombieman, then stepped up onto his stool and began salting the water.

They fell into a comfortable silence.

Zombieman hated the thought of breaking it. But he’d invited Hikaru over for a reason. It was best to just rip the band-aid off.

“So, I heard about your emancipation,” Zombieman started.

He saw the boy stiffen beside him. “What about it?” “Nothing, just—” Zombieman scratched his neck. “—I guess I’m a bit worried about you raising yourself.”

“I’ve been raising myself for years,” Hikaru responded. He turned on the burner under the pot of water. “It’s nothing new, just official.”

Zombieman pushed the vegetables around in the pan. “I know. But you deserve to have a good adult presence around.”

“I have you,” Hikaru replied.

Zombieman laughed. “I’m not exactly a good adult presence,” he said. “And we only see each other once a week.” He sobered. “You know the brain better than I do. You know how much development is happening in that brain of yours, kid—just because you have a souped-up brain doesn’t change that. I’m just—I’m worried about you.”

The tomatoes were beginning to break down, so he stripped the herbs and dropped them into the pan.

“Look—I’m not gonna challenge you on the emancipation itself. With your responsibilities, it make sense for you to be able to make your own decisions. But I’m concerned about you raising yourself,” he said. “And I don’t want you to think I’m judging you, or doubting your capabilities. It’s just—”

“—there are certain limits to my experience because of my age,” Hikaru finished. “Sitch said that when they were deliberating.”

Zombieman grabbed the cream. “I thought you were sent out of the room for their deliberation,” he remarked, pouring some cream into the pan.

“I was, but Sitch gets loud when he’s passionate about something,” Hikaru replied. He grabbed the box of spaghetti. “And soundproofing wasn’t one of Bofoi’s priorities when building the Headquarters.”

Zombieman sighed. “I hope you know we don’t think any less of you when we say that.”

He sprinkled cheese into the pan.

Hikaru nodded and poured the dry pasta into the pot. “I know. I actually wanted to ask you something.”

“Shoot.”

Hikaru chewed on his lip. “I just—and go ahead and say no if it’s too much—but I was hoping—I mean, wondering if—I could, you know—my lab is right down the street, and I need an adult in my life so I was just thinking—”

Zombieman watched Hikaru flounder, a slow smile spreading on his lips. “Are you asking if you can stay with me?” he asked.

Hikaru nodded. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Zombieman said. “I’d be happy to have you stay here, kid.”

The boy lit up. “Really? It’s not too much to ask?”

Zombieman chuckled. “I was trying to figure out how to offer that up as an option without seeming condescending,” he admitted. “I’d be happy to be there for you as a more permanent fixture. Honestly, I’m surprised you’re taking all this so well.”

Hikaru flushed. “I’ve been thinking about needing more responsible and experienced people around me for a while now,” he said. “Hearing Sitch say it solidified that to me. And I knew if I wanted anyone to be that adult, it would be you.”

Zombieman felt warmth in his cold chest.

He’d never had a true family—well, maybe he had before he died, but he couldn’t remember any of what happened before.

And sure, maybe a walking corpse wasn’t the best choice for a parent figure for a tiny prodigy, but if the kid chose him, he wasn’t going to question it.

Being chosen was a warm feeling.

“I’m glad,” he said. “Now move, I have to drain that pasta before it turns to mush.”

---

Zombieman sighed.

After dinner, they’d gone out for milkshakes—a tradition for the two of them when they were celebrating something. On the way back, Hikaru had begun lagging behind.

Which led to his current predicament: he was holding Hikaru—who was fast asleep—to his chest, but he also had to unlock the door to their apartment, and his key was in his pocket.

Slowly, gingerly, Zombieman moved the hand supporting Hikaru’s head away from his neck and snaked it into his pocket.

He leaned back, keeping Hikaru balanced as he dug for his key, and fought to get it into the door.

After struggling for a bit, he succeeded in unlocking the door.

Zombieman settled into one of his overstuffed chairs and took a swig of his juice-box which was still sitting on the mini fridge.

He looked down at Hikaru, sleeping soundly on his chest, and realized he probably wouldn’t be able to get up from this chair for the rest of the night.

But he could live—or do whatever the closest equivalent was for him—with that. His kid was sleeping sounder than he’d seen him sleep in months, his breath escaping his lips in soft, even puffs.

He smiled, and closed his eyes. “Sweet dreams, kid.”

[crayolacrayonhalloweenpacks]

I Think We Have Chemistry

Summary: In which Logan is an indirect matchmaker and Roman uses some truly awful puns to flirt with his lab partner.

Words: 2904

Notes: This was Logince before it was Prinxiety, but eventually I realized how much I love writing platonic bantering Logince, so here we are. This is purely self-indulgent. I know only the basics of chem, so please don't murder me, although if you want to make any corrections that's cool by me.If you want some cool music to jam to after reading this try Dissolve by Absofacto. Thanks for reading!

Read on: Archive of Our Own

Roman loved lab days. If he were someone else, he would probably continue by saying that it was the last class of his day before he was allowed to return home and relax, finally freed from academic burdens. But he was him. So even though he loved science in general, the special thing about lab was it allowed him to actually do something. He enjoyed reading and studying as much as the next guy, but after a while, that could only do so much. Even though it only happened once a week, being able to physically perform an experiment, to work out conclusions for himself and see first-hand how the world worked...well, nothing could compare.

He also looked forward to lab because of his partner. Virgil was a “measure-ten-times-cut-once” kind of guy, and usually that kind of excessive paranoia would irritate Roman, but in this case, he found it almost endearing. Without his researching and proofreading skills, their lab reports wouldn’t be anywhere near the level of accuracy and thoroughness that they were. Something that could be annoying, however, was his lack of reaction to Roman’s attempts at flirting. Case in point: their current conversation.

“...and after that, I learned to always bring a change of clothes for combustion labs,” he finished with a triumphant grin. In the eighth grade, he’d damaged one of his favorite shirts, which read “NEVER TRUST AN ATOM: THEY MAKE UP EVERYTHING”, due to his lack of expertise in using lab equipment. It had been embarrassing at the time, but now it was one of his favorite stories to tell: he, a foolhardy yet earnest student, the victim of an overzealous, malignant Bunsen burner. It usually drew out a hearty guffaw from any crowd, but earned only an alarmed grimace from his lab partner. Jeez. This guy was impossible to impress! He slouched back in his chair, trying to maintain a facade of casualness. “Anyway,” he continued, “what were you saying?”

He felt his brother give him a pointed look from across the room. Roman could hear him already. Don’t waste class time, Roman! Pursue non-academic interests outside of school, Roman! He ignored him. Logan had always been a killjoy. He’d make up lost points on the final.

Virgil peered at the clock and cursed under his breath. “Well, I guess Google exists for a reason,” he quipped, dumping the remains of their half-completed lab down the sink.

Roman laughed, perhaps a little more boisterously than was necessary, and started scrubbing the beaker Virgil handed him. “Yeah, totally.”

The bell rang over the intercom just as they finished cleaning up. “I guess I’ll text you later to work on the report.”

“Sure thing!”

Virgil gave him a quick salute and walked out of the classroom, bookbag draped carefree over one shoulder, gait elegantly loose. His hair was growing out. Chestnut roots emerged in stark contrast to the dye, and one aubergine lock curled like a question mark at the nape of his neck. He watched him disappear into the hallway, eventually becoming indistinguishable from the rest of the sea of students.

He hated thinking that--that Virgil was indistinguishable. Virgil was very distinct. Despite not fitting the classic cool guy mold, he was undeniably cool. Maybe not popular, or athletic, or social, or--okay, he was getting off-track now. Virgil was quiet, but never standoffish. He was true to his word and always held up his end of the work, never slacking off or making excuses. He was precise and grounded and paid attention to the little details. Paired with Roman’s knowledgeability, they were a laboratory dream team. Possibly a dream team outside of lab work as well.

“That’s my chair.” A sharp voice crashed into Roman’s daydreams.

He jerked up, face flaming. Right--the AP chemistry class. “Hello! So it is! Well, I will get out of your way, then!” He scrambled for his books and shoved them into his bookbag. He winced when, in his haste, his lab worksheet crumpled under his textbook, but slung it on his back anyway and pulled out the chair with a flourish. “Sorry about that. Have a pleasant day!” he called to his teacher. Some of the students laughed good-naturedly as he strode out, including the teacher, who turned back to his lesson with a grin on his face. As annoyed as they had been, they still liked him, or at least thought he was decent. Was he not charming, funny, all the things a potential romantic interest ought to be? What was he not getting?

~

“I know you like him, but this is not helping your chemistry grade,” Logan said as soon as Roman got home.

“Were you just standing at the door this whole time?”

“I arrived only a few minutes ago.”

“We take the same route!”

“I walk faster.”

“At least give me an opportunity to sit,” he grouched, but launched into a vent as soon as he dropped his bookbag on the floor, ending the soliloquy with “I’ve tried everything--everything!--and he’s still so…” He sighed, pushing hair away from his face.

“Unresponsive?”

"Yes, exactly! He just nods and goes right back to the class!”

“Perhaps that’s because it’s a class.”

“I know, I know, participation, pay attention, bla bla bla. Jeez, Mom.”

“I’m your brother.”

“Don’t be so literal. My point is, you’d think he’d at least laugh just a little bit. Is that not so much to ask? I told him about the Bunsen burner incident, and he just looked at me like--”

“I’m sorry, the what incident?”

Roman snapped and pointed at Logan. “Exactly like that! Just like I was an--an idiot!” He groaned, draping one arm over his forehead and fanning himself with the other. “What am I doing wrong?”

“Hm.” Logan furrowed his brow thoughtfully, trailing off into silence.

“Don’t just sit there, it’s making me nervous,” he said half-jokingly.

“Well, have you considered that he doesn’t understand?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m saying it’s very much possible that he hasn’t noticed your advances. You may need to stop beating around the bush and be more direct.”

“This is as direct as it gets!”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been making normal conversation. Like how you talk to me--”

“Ew--”

“--so are you certain?”

“Quite--” he started, affronted, then stopped. “Wait.” The inkling of an idea that had just occurred to him started to solidify. Of course! He prided himself on his charisma. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? A little miffed that his ironically aromantic brother had just suggested such an obvious solution, he proclaimed, “Logan, you’re a genius!” and grabbed his bookbag.

“What are you doing?”

“Just a little research, so to speak. Nothing too excessive, but!” He paused for dramatic effect. “Prepare to have your mind blown.”

Logan still looked surprised, but quickly settled into satisfaction. “Fantastic. I’m glad to see your spirits are raised.”

“Talk later, Pocket Bro-tector!” His mind already racing with daydreams, Roman sprinted back to his room, plopped in front of his desk, and flipped his laptop open. He could feel the electricity coursing through it when his fingers hovered over the keyboard, or maybe that was just the adrenaline. Either way, it was thrilling. He typed in a quick search and opened a new Word document to record. This was perfect. What could be more direct than a pickup line?

~

Roman waltzed into lab the next week and snapped up two worksheets from his teacher’s desk. He’d debated putting the plan into action through text over the weekend, but eventually decided it would be more effective in person. So here he was, in person, with a fountain of chemistry puns ready to fall from his mouth at the drop of a hat. There was no way Virgil wouldn’t notice now. Roman seated himself, fingers drumming in anticipation. He was golden.

Virgil walked in a few minutes later, placing last week’s lab report on their teacher’s desk. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Oh, you know. Same soup reheated.” On the other side of the lab, Logan was giving him a questioning look. He grinned back before passing Virgil a worksheet. Their fingers brushed, barely. He swooned.

Virgil’s eyes flew back and forth at lightning speed, scanning the paper. “I’ll grab the equipment if you can get the reactants.”

“Ooh, what are they this time?”

“Copper...some other stuff.”

"Ah! Speaking of copper, are you made of it and tellurium? Because you’re C-U-T-E.”

Across the room, Logan facepalmed.

“O...kay?” he said unsurely. “I’ll just. Get that stuff now.”

Roman turned his back, partially to get the samples, partially to recover. He chewed his lip. Okay. Focus, Roman! You got this! He patted his pocket to reassure himself. He’d printed the compilation of pick-up lines at the library earlier, and it was there if he needed it. Which he wouldn’t, obviously! His natural charm would prevail.

And also, he had the entire thing memorized. He supposed there was that as well.

Roman returned with five Ziploc bags of metal samples. The scale squealed on the tabletop when Virgil slid it over. “Is this everything?” Virgil picked up the manual again.

“Indeed! Let us begin.”

Virgil read over the first page again and frowned. “Hey, you know the periodic table pretty well, right? Which one is eleven?”

See? It’s all working out! “You, because you’re sodium--”

“U?” he frowned. “Isn’t uranium, like, ninety or something?”

“Yes--well, yes, but you see--I, uh--” he stuttered before going abruptly silent.

“What?”

Roman ducked his head, hoping his hair would hide his burning cheeks. “Nothing. Never mind.”

“Uh, sure.” He scratched the back of his neck before holding out a hand. “Hand me the copper?”

~

The bell sounded over the intercom, signifying the end of the period. They had managed to get through the procedure on time, mainly because Roman was too preoccupied with worrying to continue with the pick-up lines. If he wasn’t being as straightforward as possible before, he was now. How was it possible for someone to be so oblivious?

“Same time next week,” Virgil deadpanned, getting up to leave.

Come on, Roman, he scolded himself. The period was ending. This might be the only chance he could get. “Wait!”

“Yeah?” He looked at him expectantly.

Roman cursed the stars. His mind had gone completely blank--so much for memorization--and it wasn’t like he could just pull out the reference sheet right now. “Um.” Very eloquent. Come on, something! “If there was no gravity on Earth, I’d still fall for you,” he blurted.

Virgil stared at him blankly, and without another word, left.

What was that? How had things gotten so bad that he’d resorted to physics? He hadn't even researched that! He was paralyzed. He wanted to dissolve like salt in water, until he was part of the air. He wanted to evaporate and catapult himself out of the troposphere. He snatched up his bookbag and stalked outside to head home.

Logan appeared at his shoulder not long after. “What was that?” he hissed.

He scoffed. “I did what you said. Hypocrite much?”

“When did I say to do--” He performed a series of elaborate, meaningless gestures. “--that?”

“You said to be more direct!”

“I didn’t mean like that!”

“Then what did you mean?”

“I meant a heart-to-heart talk or something!”

“So for me to just--profess my love or something? Are you crazy?”

“Oh, so I’m the crazy one? Copper and tellurium aren’t even particularly reactive!”

“It was a creative liberty!”

“There are no creative liberties in science!”

“There are in the science of seduction!”

Logan huffed. “I’m not even going to validate that with a response.”

“Fine! I didn’t need you to rub it in anyway!”

They were so busy arguing they hadn’t even realized they were already home. Logan’s face softened. “I apologize, Roman. I shouldn’t have behaved so harshly. That was...inconsiderate of me.”

“Jeez, don’t say that. Now I have to apologize, too.”

"Did it really go so badly?”

"At least give me a chance to sit down,” he said, but didn’t even wait this time. “I think he hates me. He didn’t even say anything! Just--left.”

“I doubt that. The worse case is you made things very uncomfortable.”

“Thanks.”

“But even if that’s what happened, you should be able to patch things up and act in a professional manner. If things really aren’t working, you could always request to switch partners, but the school year will be ending soon anyway--” He cut himself off. “I’m not helping, are I.”

“Not in the slightest.”

Logan shuffled his feet. “As a gesture of goodwill and comfort,” he started. “Would you enjoy a hug?”

“Whoa, what? Human contact? From Logan Browne?”

“Well, scientifically speaking, it does release dopamine--”

“C’mere,” he said, throwing his arms around his brother’s shoulders before realizing he had no idea how to hug him. The material of his button-down shirt scratched his neck unpleasantly. He patted Logan on the back stiffly before peeling away.

Logan wrinkled his nose. “That was rather awkward.”

“Only if you make it.”

“Do you feel better?”

Roman paused. “You know what? I think I do.”

“Satisfactory.”

“I’m just glad I won’t have to see him for another week.”

"You can’t avoid him forever,” Logan warned.

“I know,” he muttered.

“Well, when you do have to confront him...I’m more than happy to act as moral support.”

Roman laughed. “That may be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Isaac Nerd-ton.”

He squinted. “How am I more of a nerd than you?”

“The glasses.”

“You have glasses, too--”

“Not anymore!” he declared, pointing to the corner of one eye. “Contacts now. And my eyes have always been better than yours.”

“We have the same prescription!”

“We do not!” he countered, before both of them collapsed in a fit of giggles.

~

“And that’s a wrap, folks! Great job!” Roman’s teacher clapped his hands. “You’re dismissed.”

Thank the stars. Roman had been filled with dread the entirety of lab and the preceding twenty or so hours. It had both relieved and heightened his anxiety when Virgil barely spoke or made eye contact, flushing red and looking away whenever Roman caught his eye. On one hand, he didn’t have to talk about the previous week’s antics, but on the other, the air felt too tense to so much as look at him. Glad that the period was over, he grabbed his bookbag and started towards the door.

He glanced over his shoulder to see where Logan was--he wanted intensely to beat him home for once--only to see Virgil talking to a taller boy who had a wide grin on his face. Roman recognized him as a Patton something-or-other who’d been in his class in eighth grade. They didn’t talk much, but he seemed nice enough. He hadn’t known he and Virgil were friends.

The two of them looked directly at him, Virgil swallowing nervously. Roman wheeled back around, more intent on leaving this time, as Patton laughed brightly. Apparently, he wasn’t so kind. Humiliation boiled in his gut. FIne. Let them laugh at him. He didn’t care. Or, at least, he could pretend he didn’t.

Logan sidled over to him. “He’s coming this way,” he muttered.

“What?”

“He’s walking over,” he repeated.

“I heard you the first time,” he said between gritted teeth, “but what?”

“I don’t know, I just-- Oh, hello. Virgil, is it?” he said coolly.

Roman’s head snapped up. He immediately wished he’d kept looking down.

Virgil stiffened. “Hey.” Behind him, Roman could see Patton giving a thumbs-up so enthusiastic he feared for his hand bones. What was going on?

“How may I help you?” Logan said.

“I, uh. Wanted to talk to Roman, actually.”

“Go ahead.”

“Uh.”

“Whatever you can say in front of Roman, you can say in front of me.”

Virgil scratched the back of his neck, sighed, and faced Roman. “Look, we have lab together, right?”

“Well, yes. We’re here right now.”

“So…” He groaned, burying his face in one hand and muttering something incomprehensible.

Roman frowned. “Pardon?”

“So,” he said, voice still slightly muffled, “I think we…” He sighed. “We have chemistry.”

Roman blinked. His stomach swooped. Was this a joke?

Virgil groaned again. “Sorry, that was just--absolutely terrible. I’m going to--” He pointed at the door.

“No, wait!” Roman grabbed his elbow before he could turn away. “That was.” He searched his brain for a word. “Uh. Thank you,” he finished lamely.

“Oh,” Virgil said. He stood up a little straighter. As if anything about that was remotely straight, Roman thought to himself with a snort. “Uh. I guess I’ll, uh.” He did a quick finger-guns motion.

“Yeah.”

“Cool.” He saluted him and started walking past them.

“Cool,” Roman echoed.

Virgil turned back and gave a hesitant smile. If it weren’t for Logan standing behind to catch him, he would have face-planted on the floor.

Logan waved a hand in front of his face. “Well?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you all set?”

Roman felt dizzy and a little lightheaded, like someone had filled him with helium and released him into an infinite expanse of blue, blue sky. A slow smile spread across his face. “Yeah. I think so.”

~

Virgil did text him, a few hours later.

Virgil (Science) After next lab? Maybe the park or smth

Me See you then

Roman loved lab days.

[mysterylover123]

My Top 10 Halloween Episodes

mysterylover123

Happy Halloween Everyone! 

I’ve been rewatching my favorite shows’ Halloween episodes as a means to prepare for the holiday (and get ideas for things to do!) and I’ve decided to compile a list of my Top 10 favorites. These are the episodes I consider the best, the most packed with spooky goodness and Halloween surprises, of all the shows I’ve seen. Let me know if there’s one I should check out!

#10. The Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror V”

“NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER SOMETHING SOMETHING.” “GO CRAZY?” “DON’T MIND IF I DO!”

While I do wish Simpsons had stopped at Season 10 like most, I can still acknowledge its absolute mastery of the Halloween episode with this annual anthology. And like most, I can also concede that the best of the best, the creme-de-la-creme, is the 5th one: The Shinning parody of course, first and foremost, is absolutely classic and deservedly so. Having recently endured a week without power, and thus NO TV AND NO...NOT BEER BUT COFFEE...I totally get where  Homer is coming from. The other two segments, and other Halloween eps, are also strong as well. But you can’t have a proper TOP 10 HALLOWEEN EPS list without a Treehouse of Horror. So here it is!

#9. Spectacular Spider-Man The Uncertainty Principle”

“Twas the night before Halloween, and no folks were stirring, not even Green Gob...lan.”

Spidey is one of the few superheroes with both the whimsical roster of characters and the appropriately spooky rogues gallery to make for great Halloween episodes. While Spider-Man and his amazing friends in 1981 started out with it’s own Goblin Halloween ep, my nod has to go to Spectacular’s ‘Uncertainty Principle’, a suitably creepy episode featuring all the stuff you want around this holiday. The cast in whacky costumes, spooky decor, and creepy plotlines about the Green Goblin and the arrival of the Symbiote. It’s even more horrifying in hindsight when you find out what’s really going on in the series finale...but for itself, it’s a suitably spooky time. Also, Spider-Man dressed as Spider-Man for Halloween.

#8. Angel “Life of the Party”

“Some are saying it’s an even better ritual sacrifice than the one last year.”

The absolute master of the Halloween episode is uncontrovertibly the Buffy-verse. I have 3 entries on this list alone, and it was hard to resist including a forth. But for now, let’s start out with Angel’s sole incursion into the Halloween genre, an Office Party ep from their 5th season. Spoiler alert: Season 5 is about Team Angel taking over Wolfram and Hart and trying to use it for good. The Halloween party there is a big deal and Lorne is going nuts from planning it. Consequently, we get a wild ride of demon guests, LorneHulk, Team Angel doing crazy things, and whacky Halloween decor. Spike smiling and partying out like a loon is definitely worth htetheprice of admission.

#7. Friends “The One w/ the Halloween Party”

“I am a woman who spent a ton of money on this dress and wants to wear it until she is too big to fit into it.”

I had actually never seen the Friends Halloween episode until this year. I definitely enjoyed it; the cast’s costumes are funny, the various Halloween antics are adorable - especially Rachel being pushed around by candy-randy kids - and the Halloween-y atmosphere is quite convivial. Though as a comic book nerd, I must point out how completely absurd Joey’s suggestion of ‘who would win, Catwoman or Supergirl’ being Catwoman. Like, seriously? A nonpowered thief vs a freaking Kryptonian? Even people who don’t read comic books should know the answer to that one! Were people in the year 2001 really that clueless? But anyway, on a more somber note, this was apparently the first one they shot after 9/11, and ended up Lisa Kudrow’s favorite, because a stranger thanked her for making them laugh. Aw!

#6. South Park “A Nightmare on Face Time”

“Oh, and Kenny? Stay gold.”

SP has a number of Halloween episodes, but my favorite has to be this one from 2014. There’s two main plotlines and they’re both Peak Halloweeny goodness. First, there’s Randy reenacting The Shining as his new Blockbuster  video goes under due to Netflix stealing business, which is absolutely hilarious. Then there’s the boys as The Avengers, hoping to win a costume contest despite Stan having to FaceTime. This part is full of trick-or-treating goodness, with each of the costumes being perfect for the kid (WE HEAR KENNY’S VOICE! ALBEIT DISTORTED!) and the comedy of how seriously everyone takes Stan’s ipod battery dying being absolutely killer. Certainly wins the prize for Funniest Halloween Ep Ever. (Also, Kyle’s thor costume. Thor would obviously look so much cooler with that hat.)

#5. Buffy “Halloween”

“It’s come as you aren’t night!”

The second of the Buffyverse Halloween entries on the list. Not just a great Halloween ep but a great Buffy ep too, this one is absolutely rolling in seasonal riches. Pumpkin patch vamp fight! Halloween decorated Bronze! Ethan Rayne turning everyone into their costumes is such a clever gimmick, and as usual with a Buffy ep they do more with it than just that. Noblewoman!Buffy, Military!Xander and Ghost! Willow are each a treat to watch as they try something new with their lives. I’m a little annoyed by the “not like other girls” sappy Bangel ending, but otherwise, this one is just golden. (My shipper heart rejoices in the Cangel Bronze Date and Buffy being awfully flirty with Willow as well, for the record). 

#4. Parks and Rec “Halloween Surprise”

“You can’t plan your future, Leslie. You just gotta let it happen.”

Parks and Rec is another one with a plethora of great Halloween eps to  choose from (something about blonde female leads I guess). This one takes the spot for being the most substantial, plot-wise, of all four, including lots of changes in the story and a great lesson at the end - though also for having the best costumes (Rosie the  riveter Leslie! Princess Diane), the best celebration (Screening of Death canoe 4 Murder at blood Lake sounds like an absolutely delightful way to spend a Halloween) and the best ending (BEN PROPOSES TO LESILE OMG). The only thing it’s missing is April, who only cameos at the start. But she gets plenty to do in the other Halloween eps, so I’ll forgive it.

#3. Frasier “Halloween”

“I’m  Waldo. From Where’s Waldo. You know, the guy you  can’t find because he blends into the crowd.” “I don’t know, but I’d love a demonstration.”

Frasier is absolute peak sitcom comedy, especially with the Farce plotline. This one is a great, sophisticated classic, with Niles throwing a Library association ball - which means everyone must dress as a character from literature. Niles is Cyrano, Martin is Holmes, Frasier and Daphne are from the Canterbury tales, and Roz is O from the Story of O. The real conflict of the ep is “Is Roz Pregnant” and everyone mistaking who’s pregnant by whom. The  climax is Niles proposing to Daphne who he thinks is the one pregnant from an imaginary fling with Frasier. It’s funny, glib, and absolutely whacky, with some extra Halloween shenanigans to keep you occupied, like Niles’ weird old-timey theme and the parade of trick-or-treaters constantly interrupting the skits demanding candy. Definitely don’t miss this one!

#2. Gravity Falls “Summerween”

“We’re getting older, there’s not that many Halloweens left!’

There’s definitely something about supernatural shows and Halloween episodes that just creates that extra level of quality. GF is a great show all around, and this little gem of a Halloween ep is one of the best of the whole series. It’s got everything: The Summerween Trickster, the trick-or-treating, the try-hard scares and the mad dash for candy. My favorite thing about it, though, would have to be the conflict between Dipper and Mabel about what to do for Halloween. They were always debating whether it were better to grow up too soon or try to stay a kid, and this one uses Halloween to illustrate that: Dipper torn between the Grown Up party and the Kid Trick-or-Treating, and the poignant way that rings true for all of us here in the US - that day when you finally realize you’re ‘too old’ for trick-or-treating - really makes this one strong. 

Hon Mentions: The other Parks and Rec episodes; Buffy All the Way; the camptastic Smallville episode “Thirst”, the How I met Your Mother Halloweens

#1. Buffy “Fear Itself”

“Don’t taunt the fear demon!” “Why, can he hurt me?” “No, it’s just tacky.”

Like I said before, no one does Halloween like Buffy does Halloween. And this one is the best of the best, of the best. Everything you could want from a Halloween ep is right here. Pumpkin carving, check. Crazy party, check. Whacky costumes, check. Spooky real scares, check. The Gang’s costumes are a parade of awesome (ANYA AS BUNNY!) and the concept of exploring each member’s Greatest Fear is an absolute winner. I love every time a TV show tries to do a Greatest Fears episode, because it’s just a concept I get a kick out of - such a great way to explore our characters’ most primal needs! - and this is b y far the best. The atmosphere, the subject matter, the costumes, and  the writing, which is seriously killer in this episode (”Prepare to have your spines tingled and your gooses bumped by the terrifying...Fantasia.” “Maybe it’s because of all the horrificthings we’ve seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don’t unnerve me the way they used to”) all make this, in my opinion the best Halloween ep of all time.

[jhopeislovelifehappiness]

Hii!! Sorry to bother so much, but if you have time could you do a : "Are you jealous" x "I'd say Im sorry but I'm not" of Yoonseok please? Only if you have time and feel like it :)

Not sure this is the direction you wanted it to go, but here’s what I came up with lol

Hope you enjoy ^_^

Hoseok woke up one morning, the sun shining in through his window. He opened his eyes and smiled. Yoongi was beside him, only half dressed and drooling slightly. He laughed lightly at the scene before him, mostly because he was happy to have the privilege of getting to see it in the first place. He turned on his side and faced Yoongi and wrapped his arms around him. Yoongi opened his eyes. An annoyed look came across his face when he saw all of the sunlight streaming in through the window. Hoseok gave his boyfriend a long good morning kiss and then lept out of bed; he had a lot of practicing to do today.Yoongi made an angry sound and rolled back over in bed as Hoseok walked out the door.

Hoseok was the happiest he had been in his life; he and Yoongi had been together for a month or so, and he was so glad that he didn’t have to wonder anymore whether he was crazy for having such wild thoughts about Yoongi.Hobi tried to focus on his work, but Yoongi was the only thing on his mind. In an attempt to clear his mind for a while, Hoseok went back to the living area and sat down. Peace and quiet… at least for a little while.After only a few minutes, Hoseok’s precious silence was interrupted by boyish giggles from in the other room. He recognized the laughs as Jimin’s and Yoongi’s. He tried his best to ignore the noises, but he couldn’t stand it. What in the world was so funny?Hoseok walked over to the doorway of the room and took a look inside. Jimin and Yoongi were lying next to each other on Jimin’s bed, watching something on his laptop. Yoongi’s leg was draped over Jimin’s.“What’s so funny?” Hoseok asked.The two boys looked up and smiled.“Yah, Hobi, you should watch this!” Yoongi yelled.“Okay…” Hoseok said hesitantly.It was an epic fails compilation–nothing Hoseok hadn’t seen before. He didn’t find it very amusing, not when his boyfriend was having such a grand time with Jimin because of it. Hoseok wondered if he was being ridiculous for being somewhat angry about the situation, but even if he was being ridiculous he couldn’t change how he felt if he tried. He became quiet and attempted to laugh at some of the funnier videos, but Yoongi could tell that something was up. After the video ended, Hoseok rose and told the two boys that he needed to get back to work. On his way down the hallway, Yoongi ran up to him.“Hey, is something wrong?” he asked Hobi.Hobi didn’t want to be silly. Yoongi was just having a good time with a friend. No big deal, right?Before he could answer, Yoongi said,“Are you jealous?”Hoseok sighed.“Maybe just a little bit.. but it’s only because you looked like you were having such a good time with Jimin…”“You don’t need to be jealous,” Yoongi said.“Okay..” Hoseok said. “Sorry.”“It’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry for.”The conversation was painfully awkward, so Hobi said, “Okay,” and went on his way.

Hoseok found it a bit easier to practice after that.

After a few hours of work, the rest of the boys entered the practice room. They spent hours and hours doing reps of songs and perfecting their moves. Hoseok worked hard, so hard that he just couldn’t work anymore. He went back to his room and fell asleep quickly; it was only 5:00 pm.

When Hoseok woke up, it was 2:00 am. There was no sunshine coming through his window, and Yoongi was not beside him. He laid there for a long time, not moving, staring at the ceiling. Eventually, however, he got up to go to the bathroom. He could use a shower.Hoseok grabbed his things and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. All was quiet in the other rooms, until he reached the bathroom door. There was the sound of giggling inside.Hoseok’s heart flared at the sound. It was Jimin and Yoongi. There was quiet mumbling between the two boys that he couldn’t quite make out, and then there was moaning. Lots and lots of it…Hoseok was utterly distraught. His boyfriend was cheating on him, with their friend. Jimin probably had no idea that Yoongi had been sleeping with Hoseok at all. They had never really spoken about it to anybody. But Yoongi knew what he was doing, and that was what made it worse.Hoseok’s eyes burned with the tears that he tried to hold back. It felt as if there were a gaping hole in his chest. He thought that Yoongi loved him… He must have thought wrong.Hoseok walked quietly back to his room and cried. He fell asleep on a damp pillow that morning.

When Hoseok woke up again, it was 9:00 am. He hadn’t expected to wake up that late, but it was a day off for him anyway. He turned on his side, but Yoongi was not there. He soon recalled the events that had occurred only hours before, and suddenly the world felt cold. Hoseok wrapped himself up in his sheets and laid there motionless.It felt like hours had gone by. Hoseok needed to use the bathroom and his stomach growled frequently, but he didn’t feel like getting up. He didn’t want to see Yoongi, or Jimin, or the bathroom either. It would all be too much.There was a knock on the door. It was Yoongi. Hoseok didn’t care. He did not reply.Yoongi let himself into the room, and Hoseok pretended to be asleep. It didn’t help that Yoongi crawled under the sheets next to him and quietly encouraged him to get up.Hobi was too fed up to even pretend. He opened his eyes instantly. Yoongi stared into his eyes. “You were awake?”Hobi said nothing.“What’s wrong?”Still nothing.Yoongi sighed and looped his arms around Hoseok.Hoseok was disgusted with Yoongi’s touch. He wanted nothing to do with him, and yet there he was letting him hold him. Oh, how weak he was.Hoseok got out of Yoongi’s embrace and sat up.“I heard you and Jimin last night,” he said blankly.Yoongi stiffened and sat next to Hobi.“Yeah?”The fact that Yoongi did nothing to try to apologize or make things better only brought tears to Hobi’s eyes.“Yeah,” he whispered. His voice would not work.Yoongi tried to speak,“Look-” he began, but he couldn’t find the words. “I-” he tried again. Yoongi sighed sadly. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.”Hoseok couldn’t believe his ears. After all that he and Yoongi had together, he had no sympathy?Yoongi began again, “I’m kind of bad with commitment, and…”Hoseok scoffed.“That’s your excuse?” he said quietly. He wanted to sound harsh but he couldn’t speak that way to Yoongi.“That’s not what I meant. I don’t think you understand,” Yoongi said. “I care about you both.”Hoseok pitied himself for feeling hopeful at that statement.“Well you obviously don’t,” Hoseok argued. “I bet you didn’t even tell Jimin about us.”Yoongi nodded in agreement.“You’re right, I didn’t. It’s because I knew something like this would happen.”“Then why didn’t you just break up with me or whatever and run over to him? You even told me that I had nothing to be jealous of!” Hobi said.Yoongi looked disappointed. Not in Hoseok, but in himself.“I care about you both…” he said.“But you don’t.”“I do.”Hoseok was done arguing.“Can you please leave?” he asked angrily.“No,” Yoongi said. “I care about you, okay?” He reached out to Hoseok, trying to hold his hand, but Hoseok swatted him away.“What’s wrong with you?” Hoseok asked, bewildered.Yoongi became embarrassed. His cheeks flushed, and he looked down at his hands.“Look,” he said. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way…”Hoseok groaned.“I’m serious!” Yoongi said. “Please just hear me out.”Hoseok nodded impatiently for him to go on.“I…. I believe that… it’s possible to love more than one person at a time, okay?” Yoongi stammered. “I know it’s weird, and I’m sorry that you had to get caught up in my… unorthodox lifestyle, but I’m not sorry for what I did. I just… I really like both of you and I didn’t want things to be weird for you guys.”Hoseok was speechless.Yoongi looked up and him and sighed. “It’s okay if you don’t want to do this anymore, we can stop if you want.”“No,” Hoseok said. “I want to be with you. I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me earlier.”Yoongi tried to keep his cool, but he knew now that keeping things from Hoseok was in fact a bad decision.“I- I don’t know what to tell you.”“Maybe an apology would help,” Hoseok said angrily.Yoongi made a face.“Okay, I’m sorry.” Hoseok gave him the evil eye, and Yoongi added, “I truly am.”“Thank you,” Hoseok said. “Now maybe we can work something out–together.”

[onalooooonghiatus]

The Existential Helper

So I did it! Sorry it took so long-I've had a busy day. I've written fanfic before but never Phanfic so hopefully this was acceptable. I'd love feedback! Feel free to reblog (but please no reposting)! Enjoy!!!

(I'm also still open for requests from any fandom)

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Requested by anon-Phan domestic fanfic (this was a pretty broad prompt so hopefully this works)

Pairing: Phan (Dan Howell and Phil Lester)

One shot; 1,235 words

Summary: Phil Lester returns to his apartment to find his roommate, Dan Howell, having an existential crisis. Phil tries anything he can think of to wake Dan from his catatonic stupor.

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Phil Lester was breathing heavily as he finally climbed all the flights of stairs to his apartment, but he was still smiling and quietly humming. He fumbled with his key as he attempted to hold onto all of his bags. What had started as a brief trip to the store to pick up some laundry detergent, resulted in a trip home with no less than five different candy bars, an assortment of brightly colored towels (and of course a solitary black one), two tiny succulents (hopefully he would not kill them this time), a box of cereal, and inexplicably a dog chew toy. Of course, Phil had not intended on buying any of this odd compilation of objects, but when he had arrived at the store an enthusiastic worker named Marleen asked if he needed any assistance. Despite knowing the exact location of the dish detergent, Phil had graciously accepted. He quickly learned that Marleen was new to the store but determined to be a good employee so she could get a promotion in a few years and move out of her parents’ house. When Marleen not-so-subtly let it slip that the employees worked off of commission, Phil had charitably walked around the store, placing random items into his basket. Marleen was grateful and Phil was glad to have been of assistance.

Phil finally succeeded in placing the key in the lock, and let himself into the apartment. He continued to hum as he maneuvered through the doorframe, clutching the cumbersome bags.

“Dan?” He called out, “I could use some help with these bags.” There was no reply. Phil was surprised by the complete lack of response; Dan was never eager to do any work, but if Phil needed him he would, albeit grumbling all the while. “Dan?” He called again, a bit concerned this time. There was still no reply.

It’s probably fine. Phil thought to himself. He’s probably scrolling through tumblr and listening to music. He can never hear anything with those headphones on. However, despite his rationale, Phil dropped the bags haphazardly and raced around the apartment looking for Dan.

He first checked the living room. There was the sofa crease, but no Dan.

Then he looked in Dan’s bedroom. The bed was a mess and there were clothes spilling out of the wardrobe, but Dan was not there.

“Dan?” Phil cried out, worriedly. “Dan, where are- oh,” Phil muttered to himself, “of course.” He turned and went to the small place in their apartment dubbed “the existential crisis hallway.”

Sure enough, Dan was spread out, face first, on the grey carpet. Phil sighed with relief. “Dan, I was worried about you, why didn’t you answer?”

Dan simply continued staring at the wall’ his eyes devoid of life.

“Right, right.” Phil muttered uncomfortably, “you never talk when you’re like this. Well, I’ll-uh-leave you alone now. Come join me whenever you’re ready.” Not expecting a response, he ventured to the kitchen to unpack his bags.

Phil was not unused to Dan’s peculiar nature where, for potentially hours at a time, his roommate would lie in a particular spot in the hallway and contemplate life and death. However, just because he was used to it, did not make it any more normal when he would discover Dan in a catatonic stupor. Besides, Phil simply did not understand the thoughts that would send someone into an existential crisis; he certainly had never had one before. Sure, he occasionally thought of (and feared) his own death, but it was no use dwelling on the inevitable.

After he had finished unpacking everything (he had put aside the dog toy to give to his neighbor’s dog later), Phil’s stomach growled. He checked his phone and realized that it was already dinner time. Too hungry to cook, Phil grabbed some cold leftover pizza and heated it up in the microwave. He ate the pizza while watching a new anime (a weird anime called Future Diary which Phil was not sure he liked) and kept turning to Dan’s seat on the couch to comment only to end up stifling it. Realizing Dan must be pretty hungry by now, existential crisis or not, Phil grabbed a few more slices of pizza and put them on a plate.

When he arrived at the hallway, Dan seemingly had not moved an inch. He was still staring at the same spot on the wall. Phil uncomfortably coughed. “Well-uh-I brought you some food. I figured you’d be hungry by now so-uh-enjoy.” He set the plate near Dan’s head. “So-uh-yeah. Pizza. For whenever you’re ready.” Awkwardly standing with his hands clenched against his sides, Phil turned walked back to watch more of the anime.

At about eight o’clock, Phil was feeling useless. My best friend, the person I care most about in this world is having a crisis. How do I help him? What can I do? He thought desperately, searching for an answer. “I know! I’ll make his favorite.” Phil exclaimed out loud.

“So, Dan,” Phil began, once more in the Existential Crisis Hallway, “if you want to talk to anyone, you can talk to me. I mean, you don’t have to, but I can always listen. Anyway, I made some hot chocolate. I even found some marshmallows you had hidden from me since our last baking video. So here you go. For whenever you’re ready.” He set the hello kitty mug down beside the untouched plate of pizza and left.

As Phil retreated to his room he realized that there was no use dwelling on Dan. Dan would snap out of it. He would go back to normal without his help. So in order to distract himself Phil decided to do what he did best.

“Hi guys, so today I came home after buying loads of stuff I didn’t need, only to find Dan having an existential crisis. Yeah, he’s just lying on the floor not moving or anything and-um-well-Ok you guys think it’s funny or whatever that Dan has these. Or you think he’s super deep or something. And I mean yeah, obviously he’s super smart, but you have no idea what the reality is like. He’s just lying there immobile and I can’t do anything to help him. He won’t talk to me! He won’t even look at me! He just lays there and I try to help but I don’t know what I should do. I just-”

Phil looked away from the camera, tears brimming in his eyes, realizing his emotions had somehow gotten the better of him. He stopped the camera and deleted the footage; it was not like he would ever upload this anyway. Phil wiped his eyes and stood up. There had to be something he could do.

Phil did not say anything as he once again walked into the hallway. He simply laid down, right next to Dan, and stared into his brown eyes. He would stay here, for Dan.

“Phil.” Dan croaked so quietly that it was almost inaudible. “Phil, the void. I can’t escape the void. Help me, Phil.” Dan’s clammy hand reached out for Phil’s, clinging on tightly.

Phil never broke eye contact with Dan. He smiled reassuringly and squeezed his hand. “I’m here. I’m always here.”

Phil intended to stay with Dan as long as Dan needed him. He would not move until Dan was better. Or he got hungry. Whichever came first.

[aion-rsa]

How Do You Approach Worldbuilding?

https://ift.tt/2D3V9ve

We’re honored to bring this roundtable conversation between three of speculative fiction’s most exciting up-and-coming authors: Emily Tesh, A.K. Larkwood, and Everina Maxwell. In it, the writers and IRL friends have a funny and insightful conversation about everything from fantasy maps (yea or nay?), writing an emerging romantic relationship (how do Tesh and Maxwell do it so well?), and worldbuilding (the struggle!).

In honor of the recent publication of Tesh’s Drowned Country (the sequel to last year’s lush, folkloric fantasy Silver in the Wood), we’re running the first part of the conversation. We’ll finish the conversation in February, in celebration of the publication of Maxwell’s first novel, a gay space opera about princes in an arranged marriage called Winter’s Orbit. (Larkwood’s The Unspoken Name, a fantasy about an orc priestess turned wizard’s assassin, hit shelves back in February.)

Now, without further ado…

A. K. LARKWOOD: Hello, I’m A. K. Larkwood, also known as Kassie, I wrote The Unspoken Name, a book about what happens when you’ve been brought up with a terrible purpose – and then, when it comes to it, you can’t go through with it. Csorwe expects to die in the Shrine of the Unspoken One, but she’s rescued by a strange wizard who says he has a new task for her – and the question is how far she’ll go to serve the person who saved her life. It’s also about loyalty, sacrifice, and the special bond between truly annoying coworkers. I have spent most of the plague year so far doing a series of increasingly recherche craft projects to procrastinate working on the sequel. Surrounded by crochet animals, painted lampshades, wholemeal loaves and small watercolors of fruit, I now have no choice but to… participate in this Q&A.

EMILY TESH: Hi! I’m Emily Tesh, and I wrote the Greenhollow Duology – Silver in the Wood, a story about what happens when the centuries-old avatar of the greenwood meets a handsome young folklore enthusiast with more curiosity than common sense, and its sequel Drowned Country, a story about being a person with no common sense who has accidentally stumbled into the role of a woodland demigod. I am not nearly as good at craft projects as Kass so my plague year procrastination has been spent replaying video games I have already played for hundreds of hours; at this rate my next book will be some sort of thinly veiled Starbound/Mass Effect/Two Point Hospital crossover in which all problems are solved by completing picross puzzles.

EVERINA MAXWELL: I haven’t done anything productive in quarantine but I’ve taken a whole lot of naps. Rounding out the SFF combo, I’m Everina Maxwell and I wrote Winter’s Orbit, a queer romantic space opera about arranged marriage, intergalactic politics, and slow healing from the past. To prevent a war, disreputable media darling Prince Kiem is ordered to marry Count Jainan of Thea, a quiet scholar grieving the loss of his previous husband. The match shouldn’t work, and the political waters are treacherous–even before Jainan is accused of murder. On with the questions!

Q: Let’s kick off with, what are we reading at the moment?

LARKWOOD: I really enjoyed Zen Cho’s The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected In Water, which is a snappy, funny, and rather touching novella about a nun who joins a group of bandits. If you’re looking for something longer, I also loved The Changeling by Victor Lavalle, which is about… a book dealer whose wife commits a terrible crime. Or is it??? I actually don’t want to tell you anything more about it because it’s such a wild ride. I picked it up and read the first page thinking ‘I’m not sure this is for me but let’s see’, and ended up eating up the whole thing in one go.

MAXWELL: My concentration has been a bit shot lately what with 2020 happening, but I’m excited to dig into Of Dragons, Feasts and Murders by Aliette de Bodard–Vietnamese mythology and murder husbands!

TESH: I have also been suffering from the pandemic of it all when it comes to reading, but I really enjoyed The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo – love the novella length for when you are having a hard time concentrating, and it is gorgeously written.

Q: LARKWOOD: As we know I am a nerd who loves a fantasy map, but I understand you two are map-agnostic verging on anti-map. Please explain this wrong opinion to me. 

TESH: OK, my map agnosticism has two angles:

As a reader and as a profoundly geographically confused person anyway, it is 100% likely that a fantasy map tells me nothing. We are crossing the Pointy Mountains to enter the Forest of Spiders? Fabulous, bring on the spiders. I do not care which direction they are coming from, I promise to be equally alarmed by them regardless of point of origin. I will literally never refer to a map when I am reading a book. It gives me nothing. Probably this is a personal failing.

As a writer I am suspicious of mapping, especially mapping too soon, because it can pin you down to things you are later stuck with (oh no I put a river here and now it’s in the way – or even worse, oh no I need a river and the map says I haven’t got one.) And then that prevents me from using my all-time favourite setting trick, which is ‘Coincidentally We Have Found Ourselves In A Location That Precisely Echoes Our Emotional State.’ (The spiders… are the characters’ feelings.) For example, a good chunk of my novella Drowned Country is set in Fairyland, which ended up as a painfully barren and empty landscape – because that is where the characters are, emotionally speaking, so that was the setting I needed. But I couldn’t have mapped it – I am not a detailed planner and I often don’t know what emotionally significant locations I need until I hit the relevant sequence!

Obviously the usual caveat applies to all this which is ‘you can do anything if you do it well’. Even I can acknowledge that a good fantasy map is a thing of beauty. For example, Kass, I am deeply pleased by the map from The Unspoken Name, which turns a front-of-fantasy-novel standard into a character moment – want to tell us about how you designed it? 

LARKWOOD: I’ll be honest, my intention with the world of Unspoken was to make a fantasy setting that could not be mapped. (For those who haven’t read it: the setting is composed of many worlds connected by portals to an eerie hyperspace labyrinth called the Maze.) I was feeling burnt-out on the idea of a fantasy setting as an alternate universe or RPG setting or any other kind of internally consistent simulation. I wanted to make something not just implausible but impossible, and was feeling very harassed by the idea that someone might ever try to tell me that I was wrong about alluvial plains or something, so the original concept was actively contrarian about geography. For instance, there were rivers but no seas, because they had all been poisoned and destroyed by divine warfare thousands of years ago (take that, The Water Cycle!). 

Having made this unmappable world my immediate thought was “but how do I map it, though?” In the actual book, the Maze serves the dual purpose of giving us kind of a space opera feel, and also lets me do a lot of different surreal landscapes while giving the characters the ability to zip around quite freely from one location to another. So the map in the book is a collage of different fragmentary maps of different worlds – it’s supposed to give the impression that the main character has maybe been compiling it on her travels.

MAXWELL: My editor asked me for a map three times. On her third attempt I realised I could no longer pretend I just hadn’t read that line in all her previous emails, panicked and opened PowerPoint, because Paint intimidates me and all I can do with a pencil is stab myself. This tells you everything you need to know about my mapmaking process.

Read more

Books

The Unspoken Name’s Map Proves It’s A Different Kind of Fantasy

By Megan Crouse

Books

Cover Reveal: Winter’s Orbit by Everina Maxwell

By Kayti Burt

Q: LARKWOOD: So Silver In The Wood/Drowned Country and Winter’s Orbit are both about a winsome fool who eventually kisses someone more sensible. I’m consistently impressed by how well the two of you can leverage an emerging relationship as the main conflict of your books (sometimes I try but I’ve always gotta put in a big snake or a haunted water feature) – what’s your approach to developing romance dynamics in your writing?

MAXWELL: I love deconstructing romance arcs. It’s a good example of something I could never get right when I started out, so I spent years trying to improve it. Different people have different bits of the writing toolkit when they get into the game (I’ve read Silver in the Wood; Emily was apparently born with the romance kit), but having to put work into something does give you a huge appreciation for what you like and an iron-clad knowledge of what you want to put on the page.

For me, it starts out very simple. You have a flawed character. Everyone else looks at them and thinks, oh, a normal person. Except another main character, who gets to know them and goes: holy shit, this thing you do is amazing and hot – which your first character doesn’t recognise, because to them it is Tuesday. This happens both ways round, and now you have pining. Then life comes at them hard (or in the case of Winter’s Orbit, a murder investigation and an irate press officer), and they both use their skills as a crowbar to crack that problem apart while the other one hands them screwdrivers and tries to remember not to stand there with their mouth open. Now you have accomplices, which is even better than pining. Then they start to trust not only in the other one’s skills, but that the other one will use those skills for the partnership—for them. Now you have a relationship built on a rock-solid foundation, and incidentally a team that everyone else looks at and decides is not worth messing with.

The draw for me is always a whole greater than the sum of its parts. Separately they have flaws and chips and a few veins of gold. Together they are brilliant.

TESH: I am so glad Ev had a smart answer because mine is just ‘and then… they kiss’ and that’s a plot, right.

LARKWOOD: you’re both right, and also witches. I didn’t even know there was going to be a romance subplot in Unspoken until like, the third draft.

Q: LARKWOOD: Both your books take place in a setting which puts interesting pressure on those characters, whether it’s the forest primeval or a bureaucratic labyrinth of space offices. For me one of the great pleasures of writing SFF is that you can shape the world however you like (you will notice that in The Unspoken Name and sequel I somehow managed to construct an entire setting around big snakes and bad ponds). How do you approach worldbuilding?

MAXWELL: There are dozens of ways to approach worldbuilding, obviously, but I think the commonality is like growing pearls: you pick a grain of truth and irritate everyone around you until it turns into something that looks shiny from far away but smells fishy close up. That metaphor got away from me. What I mean is you tend to write what you know, which is an old and hackneyed statement but says something useful about how we can get from blank pages to spaceships.

I don’t know what it’s like to live in a multi-planet space empire. But I do know, intimately, how large bureaucracies work and the multitude of ways they go wrong. I know what snow looks like through glass on a night when you’re already tired and can’t escape to bed for several more hours, which means I know something about the climate and the rhythm of the day. I know how someone sufficiently charming can avoid learning the requisition system and just walk around security controls, which means I know what that requisition and security system looks like. And that gets built out in layers: every time you add an element, you think through more of its consequences, like layering colour on a page. You can very successfully build a world by starting with mountain ranges and rain shadows, obviously. But alternately you could just start with a deep well of creative frustration at the millionth time you’ve filled out Form 34-B, and build it up from there.

Q: TESH: We have joked at various times about our ‘casts of thousands’ – a phrase I think we stole from an essay by Diana Wynne Jones, discussing her short story Carol Oneir’s Hundredth Dream, where the same tiny group of characters are the ‘actors’ in hundreds of different dream narratives. I know I reuse characters or character types from story to story – spot the Large Sad Man in everything I write – but what about you? Who are your cast-of-thousands characters? What are the advantages of reusing a character type rather than lovingly handcrafting each new character from scratch?

LARKWOOD: I guess for the same reason that it’s easier to buy a box of watercolours than to grind your own pigments from the raw earth? The way you mix and apply them is what’s interesting, unless being the guy who makes his own paints is your whole thing – a cool thing, don’t get me wrong, but not everyone needs to write Ulysses.

Anyway I freely admit to this. The antagonist of The Unspoken Name first showed up in a comic I made when I was 14 in which he was an immortal demon overlord and drug baron, which seems like a bit of an unwieldy career combination now I think about it. 

If I’m remembering correctly, Carol Oneir’s cast eventually goes on strike because of how clunkily she deploys them as stock characters – the lesson I take from this is that you can get away with dropping your immortal demon overlord in anywhere as long as you hide him well enough.

To be continued…

Stay tuned for Part 2 of this conversation, coming at you in February 2021.

Winter’s Orbit is now available for pre-order. Drowned Country and The Unspoken Name are available wherever books are sold.

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