#anyways obsessed with the concept so what the fuck ELSE was i gonna do for au day

[sunderwight]

Much as I love the idea of PIDW being rife with terrible porn tropes and interesting (if contrived) erotic writing conventions, all actual evidence in canon would seem to indicate that apart from some sex pollen and "uh oh, the protagonist has gone into a fugue state, whatever shall calm him down?" type stuff, it was fairly vanilla.

Like, that's part of both Shen Yuan and Airplane's frustration with it, I think. It's full of sex and it's not even sex either of them enjoy the concept of. Airplane was fully just trying to pander to an audience he felt he knew and could manipulate, but not one either he nor his ultra mega hate reader were actually part of.

Not that they understood that themselves at the time.

I mean I know fandom likes to make Airplane less closeted than Shen Yuan (for a lot of reasons), which I support, but I feel like in canon at least... he didn't cotton on to Luo Binghe's change in interests at first either. It wasn't until he was watching his protagonist obsess over resurrecting Shen Qingqiu at any cost that the light started to dawn. For Shang Qinghua, also, many more years have passed since he was back in their original world. He's had more time to reconcile himself to certain ideas.

What glimpses we get of the person he was before he died, was reborn, and lived a whole other life well into adulthood, would seem to indicate that he probably wasn't much better than Shen Yuan back when he was writing.

I mean he probably was still BETTER (the bar is on the floor), like I bet he could have a fantasy featuring Mobei Jun without having an existential crisis or pretending it didn't happen, but he would have probably been like "wow I guess I've been writing so much m/f porn that I can't even enjoy it anymore and my brain had to come up with something else, anyway Mobei would make a hot chick tho, I'm gonna write one of his cousins as Binghe's next wife" and gotten on with things.

Basically I guess what I'm driving at is that it would be funny if SQQ and SQH figured they had a solid handle on the kinds of sex pollen-y porn tropes to expect from the world (mostly just the occasional fuck-or-die that missionary can cure), only for the rug to get ripped out from under them because the system incorporated a bunch of stuff from Airplane's subconscious to fill out the gaps. Not even his notes. His daydreams and fantasies.

SQQ: what the hell?! PIDW didn't even have werewolves or tentacle porn monsters!

SQH, suddenly reminded of some very specific fap sessions: right?! this is definitely weird and in no way my fault! it must be because of the genre switch!

SQQ: *suspicious*

SQH: which is your fault! you made the protagonist gay! in fact it's probably your fault that I'm gay too now!

SQQ: bullshit. what did you do. was this in a draft?!

SQH: *sweating* I can say with absolute confidence that it was not! I never wrote anything like this!

SQQ: *having a crisis now because maybe he DID accidentally cause the monsterfucker stuff and he desperately doesn't want anyone to realize that he's actually into it*

SQH: *continuing to sweat because the world is consistently manifesting content from his personal spank bank and if cucumber ever figures that out he's a dead man*

[izurou]

⋆ .˚ 𖤐 — ft. SHIDOU RYUSEI ⋮ contains: f!reader. penetrative sex. a creampie. choking. many pet names. cum eating if you squint maybe. his dialogue is .. anyways happy shidou day <3

ryusei’s love for you is strange.

he expresses it in such a way that fools everyone else into thinking there’s no love there at all—just some psychotic, lust driven obsession.

sure—he’s overzealous with his public affections, and has a dangerous habit of flashing his canines at anyone who looks your way, but that’s love. he loves you.

he loves everything about you, everything you do.

you’re underneath him, with the cutest little pout sitting on your lips, and he loves it. your brows are knit together—pleasure dotting your features, and he loves it. you’re letting him bury his cock inside you, as deep as he wants, and he fucking loves it.

but then—he leans down to press a kiss to your mouth and, you turn your head to the side.

“oh? what’s with the attitude?” he sneers, craning his neck in an attempt to follow your gaze. “hmm, babydoll? where’re your manners?”

“dunno,” you mumble—lolling your head back into place as you continue avoiding his persistent pink stare. “ask your other girlfriend.”

he starts to laugh.

it’s deep at first—straight from his gut, but the sound changes as it travels further up his throat, morphing into something a little higher pitched and maniacal when he tilts his head towards the ceiling.

“yeah,” his chuckling continues as he playfully taps a finger against the tip of your nose. “keep talkin’ like that baby, and you’re gonna have me cummin’ in no time.”

oh how he loves this.

you being upset over a harmless little interaction he had with another girl—fucking perfect, maybe he’s rubbing off on you, or maybe you’re starting to love in the same way he does. the thought is just so exciting, he can’t help but jump the gun.

“you’re insane,” you mutter under your breath.

“am i?” he tilts his head to the side and grips your chin, squishing your cheeks together a little. “for you, i might be.”

you swat his hand away and prop yourself up on your elbows, narrowing your gaze onto his. there’s displeasure flooding your stare, but he still grins at you, ear to ear.

and then you say it—what he thinks has to be his favourite question ever.

“only for me?”

⋆

he fucks you like it, like he’s batshit crazy for you.

you wouldn’t be surprised if there was a band of stars circling the crown of your head right now, that’s how completely dumb you feel.

the skillful, pornstar roll of his hips is a monster in and of itself—but pair it with the hand decorating your throat, the unmistakable weight of fingertips pressing into your skin, and he’s another creature entirely—a true demon.

a slew of crescent moons wrap around his wrist, a cute little bracelet etched into his skin, courtesy of your nails. he doesn’t seem to notice his new jewelry though—too entranced by those fucked out sounds leaving your mouth.

“still mad, babydoll?” his pace falters briefly as he locks eyes with you—god, you’re just so gorgeous like this, he’s already filled you up half a dozen times inside his head.

every variation of the word yes sits in the back of your throat—and maybe, you could’ve gotten one of them out if it weren’t for his hand—filtering out anything and everything he doesn’t want to hear.

all you can do is nod your head, and even then, you can barely do that.

“hm? doesn’t feel like it,” he taunts, and you know what he means—the stickiness of your cunt, the way it’s coating his shaft in a glistening hot sheen of your arousal. “shh shh,” he cups his free hand over your mouth with a sadistic grin, and that’s when you hear it—a lewd squelch, over and over and over again. “doesn’t sound like it either, huh? pussy’s talkin’ to me, shit, think she loves me.”

a wave of heat floods your cheeks, and oh—how you wish he would just shut up. unfortunately, silence isn’t a concept he’s very familiar with.

“right, angel face?“ he grits his teeth and prods further, pressing kisses to your sweet spots with the thick head of his cock. “this pussy loves me.”

you screw your eyes shut and try to tune him out, knowing the mere sight of him above you, all wide eyed and pussy crazed, with a thin layer of sweat highlighting his chiseled features—is enough to tip you over the edge.

“fuck, c’mon, don’t do this to me sweetheart,” he feigns innocence, masking the subtle increase of pressure he puts on your throat with his honeyed words. “you’re breakin’ my heart here.”

shit, he really knows how to get you going.

he knows what buttons to press and which to steer clear from, and even then—he’ll rewire you to his liking and press them all regardless.

“r-ryu,” you choke out, struggling to remain in the present moment as your vision starts to blur—as the tight knot in your tummy threatens to unravel.

“oh yeah, right here baby, right here.” he purrs, coaxing what little focus you have left onto him. “cum with me, lemme feel that sweet cunt. it’s all mine, ain’t it?”

he loses you halfway through his sentence, but it’s fine—your body is about to give him the response he was looking for.

you don’t hold back—knowing how much he loves you like this, with your head thrown back and your hips stuttering towards him. you’re so upset, you think he’s crazy, and yet your cunt pulses on him in perfect time with the racing beat of your heart just beneath his fingertips.

he’s right there with you, moaning shamelessly as he blows a hot, sticky load between your folds—and fuck, it’s so much hotter when it’s real.

“shit, you’re somethin’ else,” he laughs breathily, enjoying the view of his sheathed cock twitching—shooting out whatever he has left.

and it physically pains him to have to pull out, but you look so pretty right now, so ruined—with your half lidded eyes and your wet lips, it’d be such a waste if he didn’t.

with a knee on either side of you and his cock in hand, he inches his way up your body—stopping only when he’s straddling your chest. he taps his tip against your lips, and being the perfect angel you are, you take him into your mouth.

“you taste yourself?” he bucks into your face a little, and you hum in response—forcing him to grab onto the headboard as the vibrations travel up his shaft.

“oh baby,” he sighs, “only you can cum on this cock.”

[playgrl0]

thoughts that i have about baji

that's my baby bruh😭

⁂ i feel like if you know me, you already know what i'm gonna say first:

⁂ baji BITES. he bites you whenever he can and he does it all over your body. he doesn't do it in public since you don't want that and he respects it. but behind closed doors? he bites every part of your body and he doesn't give a fuck. the public eye will see the bite marks he left though.

⁂ his favorite parts to bite you are your neck, your thighs (especially inner thighs) and breasts.

⁂ neck kisses. so so many fucking neck kisses.

⁂ he always holds your throat🫨 when you guys kiss. he doesn't squeeze it or anything, he just holds it instead of placing his hand on your cheek for example.

⁂ forgot to mention that he also loves when you bite him. do it do it do it. don't be shy!!

⁂ he loves when you brush his hair for him. he will walk up to you and hand you his brush without a word and you brush it for him. he thanks you by pecking your cheek and disappears again

⁂ he can get extremely clingy when he's tired or stressed out

⁂ tries to act tough on your wedding day but will literally burst into tears once he sees you. chifuyu hands him a tissue and laughs at him. "shut up, man." he sniffles and wipes his tears away.

⁂ calls you baby, babe, angel, mama or comes up with a silly nickname himself

⁂ if you're not sitting on his lap you're doing something wrong like, why sit on a chair, on the couch, on the floor, literally anywhere when his lap is RIGHT THERE??

⁂ he tackles you randomly, gets up again, walks away and acts like he didn't do anything.

⁂ a tease. a fucking tease. loves making you nervous.

⁂ he is so so loyal. would never even come close to the thought of cheating on you. he would never.

⁂ when girls hit on him, he literally ignores them. if they keep being pushy he tells them to leave him tf alone because he already has a girl. they could never compare to you anyway.

⁂ he definitely has a staring problem. he stares at you all the damn time, not matter how you look like or what you're doing. big fan of eye contact.

⁂ he's always horny

⁂ very protective. he doesn't play around when it comes to you

⁂ ppl say he takes good care of his hair but i disagree. personally, i think he uses 4 in one shampoo and that's it i think he's just blessed with good genes. or his mama forces him to take care of it lmao idk

⁂ he's obsessed with your ass. doesn't matter if you have a small one or a whole wagon, he loves your ass. he uses it as pillow or drums. he slaps it when walking past you. one hand is always on it.

⁂ forgot to mention that he also bites your ass heheheh.

⁂ likeee you're laying on your bed on your stomach wearing shorts. baji jumps on the bed between your legs and his hands travel from the back of your thighs, up to your ass below your shorts. his big, warm hands resting on your cheeks, squeezing them before he leans forward and bites each cheek to leave a bite mark

⁂ you flinch at the contact and push him away, he just grins at you, slaps your ass and then lays down to take a nap on your ass yeah yeah

⁂ has no concept of personal space. your personal space is his.

⁂ makes fun of you all the time but if someone else dares to make fun of you they're dead. nobody is allowed to bully you except for him

⁂ i see him with a tongue piercing, eyebrow piercing, helix piercings and one nipple piercing

⁂ and many, many tattoos 🫨

⁂ tough on the outside but definitely the absolute biggest softie on the inside

⁂ you'll definitely own at least two cats together. maybe even three.

⁂ if he falls in love with you, he'll never love anyone else after you. he loves hard. you're his one and only, his entire world. you two are endgame.

⁂ he's a slut.

that's all for now,,,, bye

tags: @shamelessperfectionhideout @vmlnrz @saintokkotsu @satanlovesusall666 @kiirsteinn @noritopia @gothamgurl2024 @ranscutedoll @bertholdts--butt @torakeii

<3 @ playgrl0

[toomanyideasandfandoms]

Hello!

I bring brain rot to you once more! Imagine Clorinde being the one to find the notebook from the death seeking creator and just how many of them are her name.

Being the "vanguard" of Fontaine's military of sorts, it's her primary duty to deal with stuff like executions and stuff, so she tends to be the one sent out whenever there is Impostor sightings!

Also, imagine she was also the creator's favorite (she is mine for sureeee... aside from the buttons doing Celestia's work, ofc-), so maybe she finds that in the notes at first! Here is a little concept of what it could look like.

"I met Clorinde today. She was prettier than she looks in game! The graphics didn't do her enough justice at all... but she killed me, too. She did it without hesitation, and I... I thought she would trust me. I put hours into her build and player her for days, I spent thousands just to make sure she was perfect... and she hates me. Just like everyone else

Maybe there is something wrong with me..."

And finally, imagine that the creator didn't know of the whole Impostor deal until a couple hundred deaths later, so they thought there was something actually wrong with them instead of the whole impostor au stuff.

For some fluff, maybe she tries to be the one to bring food and like comfort towards the creator as they heal, and try to build the trust they had on her, and like she's wholesome about taking care of her and like she slowly falls in love with them as time goes on and stuff :3 (maybe becomes yandere too, you never know~)

Anyways that's it for me for now! Have a good day, fwen!

🍌anon

Ohhhh that is GOOD!!!!

So for the Cloride stuff I don't got much too add, I genuinely love it! I'm not too familiar with her character (I know them better once they become playable) but I can see this happening 100%! And honestly she probably would be asked to be the creator's bodyguard since she was/is Furina's.

Also yes yandere, Death Seeking au very much will always end in yandere even with the wholesome mental healing because the fact that these guys would be obsessed to the point of killing those who looked like the creator (very much something I would see as something The Primordial One and Celestia put as a rule in order to make sure creator can't come back at full power) means they were never gonna be normal lovers.

But oh oh that bit about creator not knowing. You my friend brought up such a nice idea honestly. That would severally fuck up creator's mentally GOD. The confusion, the hurt, it would be so much more intense due to them having no clue as to why. They probably wouldn't be able to comprehend it at all once the truth got out and the characters tried to reason with them.

Like wdym you only were killing me to worship me?? Wdym there's a creator? Yeah that's the Primordial One. Hold up what are you stopping? No don't stop! It was getting fun! Don't take the only purpose I have away from me!

That is so deliciously fucked, full course meal of mental anguish and trauma.

[alice-after-dark]

A Twist on the Standard RadioStatic

Not gonna call this a headcanon just yet, but it's a concept that has been swimming around in my brain.

Standard RadioStatic tends to go something like this: Alastor and Vox were friends, Vox caught feelings and confessed to Alastor, Alastor rejected him and fucked off for 7 years, Vox is now bitter and obsessed (insert details and personal preferences as you will).

Now while I typically think the falling out was both their faults (see this post), I have read some fascinating takes on alternative ideas to this norm and it has given me some thoughts (I am sure this is far from original, but screw you I'm having fun).

TW for abusive relationships, possessive/controlling behavior, victim blaming, and other canon-typical triggers. Contains abusive StaticMoth.

So imagine...it's Alastor who catches feelings. And he has no idea what to do with them. All he really understands is that he likes being around Vox and dislikes being away from Vox and he GREATLY dislikes anyone else showing any interest in Vox (more than one Sinner has been devoured for such a daring offense). He does not enjoy these feelings, no thank you sir. They make him confused and flustered and off balance and that is simply unacceptable. Of course this is Alastor, so he doesn't really process that what he's feeling is love. It translates more into a possessiveness in his mind. As far as he's concerned, Vox is his. What that means...best not to think too hard on it. It's hardly an issue anyways, with Vox always by his side like an excited puppy.

Until he's not.

Valentino slithers his way into the picture and this makes Alastor furious. Valentino is everything he hates; he's abusive, chauvinistic, disrespectful, and utterly full of himself. He can't stand that Vox is giving this walking shit stain the time of day. Vox learns very quickly not to bring up the moth demon around Alastor because he can fucking feel the hostility coming off Alastor in waves whenever he does (he doesn't understand why, of course. Val is perfectly charming to him. Okay, so maybe he loses his temper every once in a while every other fucking day and says some nasty things but he always apologizes...). And fuck forbid they are ever in the same vicinity. Vox has had to come between them on more than one occasion to stop a fight from breaking out. This of course only makes Alastor even more hostile because why is Vox protecting that wretched excuse for a demon? These encounters usually end with Alastor angrily taking his leave of both of them for the rest of the day. He ignores that so very loud part of his mind that protests leaving Vox alone with Valentino.

The breaking point comes when Alastor sees Vox's cracked screen for the first time.

Vox insists it was an accident, that Valentino didn't mean to. They just got into a small argument and Val can get pretty animated when he's upset and he didn't mean to shove Vox like that and it was Vox's fault anyways for continuing to push when he knew Val was mad he should have just given him space and Alastor is not listening anymore. He's heard this song and dance before. He's seen it played out before his very eyes. He will have none of it and WHY THE FUCK WILL VOX NOT JUST LET HIM KILL THIS FUCKING MOTH?!

Alastor loses his shit. He goes on a tirade about Valentino. This is not the mere hostile exchange of barbs Vox has seen between them before. This is pure unadulterated vitriol. Vox always knew that Alastor and Val didn't get along, but Alastor has never once let him see this absolute hatred he has been harboring for the moth demon. He has never seen Alastor's demeanor break like this before. He flat out demands Vox to never see Valentino again. They start to argue. Vox doesn't understand what is happening.

"Why the fuck do you think you get a say in who I'm friends with?!"

"B̃ͦͧEC̸͎ͯ̓̀Ą̨̼̠ͧ͜͝U͉̟͎̔ͩS͐E Y̢̦͂O̸͖U͗'̿ͮͪ̒̐_R͎͗̉̒Ḙ̑ M̵͔̱͂́ͭI̳N̯̲̝ͯ̄E̳̤͎ͯ̓ͬ͜!͙̪"

"I'm...what the fuck?!"

Because Vox doesn't understand what Alastor is saying. Fuck, Alastor doesn't understand what he's saying. He just wants Vox as far away from Valentino as possible and Vox is just not listening. Why won't he fucking listen?! And then it click with Alastor what he just said to Vox and the panic starts to set in and he feels vulnerable and exposed and he's not even sure why but he doesn't like it and it needs to stop now so he does what Alastors do best. He attacks the cause of those feelings.

He starts mocking Vox. Viciously. Goes for every weak point, every crack, every loose thread. He tears into him, shredding him down and spitting out the refuse. Did Vox really think he cared about him? That he was special? That he was ever anything more than a source of amusement? How fucking hilarious.

Vox attacks him and the rest is very messy history.

TLDR Alastor basically confessed in a very Alastor way because what are feelings and well fuck he's eating them, then panicked and proceeded to handle his vulnerability in a very Alastor way, Vox took what he said at face value and did not react well to being insulted, and Alastor took it as a rejection (even though he didn't entirely understand that that's what he was feeling).

[fuck-john-calvin]

OKAY THEMES I'M CALLING NOW IN TMAGP

AHEM (definitely not reading these off a red string cork board):

-I mean the sea, drowning, water, etc. though that's kinda obvious

-even more obvious but tattoos. Ink5oul seems like the Jurgen leitner of the series too. They have a shtick they do but it dabbles in all of the horror themes instead of one specifically. Also it definitely seems tied to corpses? We have two separate instances of them messing around with dead bodies, and I'm gonna assume the second one was tattooed to. So maybe they're either very old and the people they gave tattoos to died and they want them back, or they're not the first of their kind and they're digging up early examples.

-haven't heard anyone else talk about this one (though I've been behind in the fandom) but DEFINITELY self-improvement. I don't know how exactly to explain why I feel so strongly about this but the paintbrush tattoo and the double Darrien statements are absolutely thematically connected, in a way that feels like it'll be recurring. The woman who used a knife to make herself 'better', to fix herself, and the man who's been working for ages to get rid of his issues and sees what the 'better' version of himself and his life looks like? both of them seeing the ideal themself but it's corrupted and scary? I'm not explaining it well but there's no way it's a coincidence.

-oh yeah and I am by no means the first person to jump on this but games of chance working for a bit and then fucking you over. it's cool and I really like it bc I have always had an obsession with fate, luck, and lady fortune as concepts, and just wanted to mention how it's just awesome and I love it :)

-and like. between redcanary and the voyeur movie there's no way there isn't some eye shit going on there. curiosity destroying you and being known and watched? I'm sure Jonny's gonna be like 'surprise!! it's actually this new other thing and we were just fucking with you!' but it still had to be mentioned

anyways please reblog with any other themes you've noticed that I haven't brought up, or even disagreements! I'll try to keep this chain active as the series go on with other things I notice

[oldiesstationlover11607]

hey!! i’ve never requested before so 😢😅😅 anyways i’m obsessed w ur writing!! plus im so happy to see a fellow tøp writer still around!!:3

i’ll kind of you let you take the lead here of what you want to do, but i think the idea of “my brothers best friend” is sooo🥰

like josh is the readers brother, and of course tyler is always around & maybe you can do something fluffy where tyler was sleeping over at the house, and reader gets home late from an AWFUL date & they converse about it & reader admits that maybe these dates aren’t working bc her mind is on someone else..🤗

or something a bit “angsty” where josh teases his sister all the time, but tyler joins in as well and it really upsets the reader because she adores him

up to you!!!! i just like the concept^^

Bad Date - Tyler Joseph x Dun!Reader

Relationship: Tyler Joseph × Dun!Reader

Warnings: mild language, the date being weird and uncomfortable to reader

Word Count: 2659 - it's a longer one so ur welcome :)

A/N: Welcome new anon! Hope you like this one! It was super fun to write :) Definitely feel free to request another fic and if you become a regular we can assign you an emoji just like 💛 anon!

“So… did you like the movie?” My date asked as he pulled into the driveway of my house. He’d been begging me to go see some action movie he’d already seen twice before with his ‘boys’, because apparently ‘I was gonna love it.’ I’d met Matthew at work and he’d flirted with me for months before asking me out. Yeah, he was cute but not enough for me to be head over heels yet–I barely knew anything about him other than the fact that he was into movies and videogames. 

“Yeah,” I lied, staring at the front door and planning my escape route. Matthew turned to face me, a soft smile growing on his pale face. 

“Am I gonna get to see you again?” he breathed, the smell of the spaghetti he’d eaten for dinner wafting into my face. “Maybe I could meet your brother?” He reached out to stroke my hair like I was some domestic animal he could touch. I wanted to slap his hand away, the warm dampness of his palms waving over me. 

“Josh? Why would you want to meet him?” I scoffed. None of my other dates had ever talked about Josh and I was 90% sure I’d never even mentioned that I had a brother. Don’t get me wrong, I loved him more than anything but my dates were supposed to be about me. 

“He’s in that band that was playing Ichthus a few months ago right? Twenty one pilots?” Oh. It was about the band. It was about twenty one fucking pilots. 

“You know what? I’m gonna go,” I said, peeling his hand off me and getting out of the car. The lights beamed from the car, pathing the way for me to get into the house. 

“Y/N! Wait!” he shouted after me but stayed in the car. If he really wanted me to stop then he would’ve run after me. He was still shouting my name when I got to the front door. I knocked frantically on the wood, trying to get inside before I further embarrassed myself in front of the entire neighborhood. No one was answering and the lights inside were turned off as far as I could see through the window. I dug through my bag desperately trying to either find my keys or phone–anything to get into the house and out of the burning headlights of the car. The door in front of me creaked open before a hand pulled me inside and out of the cold night air. Tyler. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, leading me further into the house and into the lounge. It wasn’t rare that Tyler would spend the night at our house–he was Josh’s best friend and bandmate which meant after many late nights working on music he would just sleep over instead of going home. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” I nodded, taking off my coat and hanging it on the rack in the hallway. “Has Josh gone to bed already?”

“Yeah, you know him,” he chuckled. “What was that about?” he pointed in the direction of the front of the house where Matthew’s car had undoubtedly already left. He moved to sit on the other end of the couch, resting his feet on our coffee table. 

“Just a bad date,” I attempted a laugh but failed to hide my embarrassment. 

“What made it bad?” he asked. I didn’t think he would care about his best friend’s little sister’s date. 

“Honestly?” He nodded. “I think he wanted to get to know Josh more than me–because of the band,” I sighed. Tyler’s mouth opened as if to say a silent ‘oh’. He looked upset, his face falling into an introspective visage that broke my heart. 

“Wait really?” he muttered and I nodded. “I’m sorry, that’s not fair at all.” He was right, it wasn’t fair at all. Clearly Matthew wasn’t for me. I got up to grab myself a drink from the kitchen and Tyler moved so he could see me from where he was sitting. 

“It’s okay though. I think I just haven’t found the right person yet, you know?” I grabbed Tyler a Red Bull from the fridge and poured myself a glass of ice cold water. His face lit up at the sight of the Red Bull can and I didn’t have the strength to hold back my own smile–his smile and laugh were just too contagious. I couldn't go longer than 10 seconds without bursting at the seams. 

“Yeah, I guess so. I’m just worried I’ll never find the right person,” I sighed. Tyler chuckled, taking a sip of his ‘liquid death’ as I’d called it almost every time I caught him drinking it. “What’s so funny?”

“I–I’m just thinking about it. What if you’ve already met the right person but you just don’t know it yet?” he hummed. I scoffed as if what he had said was ridiculous. Tyler was that person to say things no one else ever thought to say out loud–most of us just kept it inside out of the fear of being seen as ‘weird’. Tyler wasn’t afraid to be called weird. 

“That’s a bit unrealistic isn’t it? Surely if I had already met that person then I would know,” I responded. He pulled a face at me, as if to say ‘are you sure about that?’ “I don’t know Ty.” I shrugged. He scooted closer to me on the couch, moving so he was sitting right up against me. He reached up to curl my hair behind my ear in a much more genteller way than Matthew had earlier. I wanted him to keep his hand there, resting against my face–I really hadn’t realized how comfortable I was around him until tonight.  

“Listen, I think you’re going to find the perfect person for you in life. They’re gonna care about you so much and know every little fact about you–like how your favorite color is (insert favorite color here), or how Josh used to hide candy under your bed so no one other than you two could eat it. They’re going to love you more than anything and want you around 24/7,” he proclaimed. I really couldn’t hide the grin on my face, especially since it was now accompanied by a warm blush. 

“Have you met that person?” I asked. 

“I think so, yeah,” he breathed, placing the can in his hand onto the coffee table. 

“What’s she like?” 

He let out a loud breath before thinking. “She’s cool. One of the smartest people I know, beautiful and talented–though she doesn’t think she is–and she makes me love life more than anything. I haven’t told her how I feel though,” he dragged off. 

“Why not?” I questioned, taking a sip of my water and placing it next to Tyler’s can. I was invested now. 

“I think it’s just never come up before you know? It’s not like I can just blast my feelings at her when she’s off doing her own thing or it’s out of the blue.” 

I nodded, completely understanding. “I get that. I’m sure she likes you too, you’re a pretty great guy Tyler,” I smiled. 

“Pretty great huh?” he boasted. Tyler never really talked about his life outside of the band, Josh and I. I knew he worked at a church nearby and helped out with their music but other than that I had no idea what he did in his spare time. He smiled back at me and I found myself staring into his cinnamon brown eyes. I didn’t want to look away, in fact, I would stay here all night staring into his eyes if he’d let me.  He slowly and cautiously moved his hand back to my face, gently touching my cheek before speaking. “Can I ask you something?” I snapped out of the daze he’d caught me in. 

“Yeah anything,” I nodded. 

He took a deep breath before speaking again and looked away for a moment, curling a very short strand of his hair around his index finger and tugging it slightly. “If I tell you something, do you promise not to get mad?”

“Tyler, it's me. I’m not going to get mad at you,” I stated. I’ve never really been the type of person to get mad easily. His shoulders rose and fell as he chuckled quietly.

“And you won’t tell anyone? Not even Josh?” 

“That depends on what you’re about to tell me,” I answered. Josh and I didn’t really keep secrets from each other, ever. If he was going to tell me the band was breaking up of course I would tell Josh but if it was personal and didn’t affect my brother then of course I’d keep it a secret. He started to pull his hair a bit harder which I noticed as he became anxious. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Just tell me what’s going on,” I reassured, taking his hand in mine and holding it gently. 

“I’m not sure how to say this but.. I… just… please promise me you’ll try and understand what I’m about to tell you…” Tyler was good with words, always knowing what to say so if he didn’t know how to tell me something then it had to be a big deal. He took another shaky breath, his eyes closing and opening again as he continued to look between me and our hands. I felt like I was about to pass out from the anticipation. What on earth would he want to tell me and not Josh? He squeezed my hand and swallowed before speaking. His voice was gentle and shaky, the most vulnerable I’d ever heard–even in his music.“I think–I think you’re my person.”

I’d never really thought of Tyler like that before. Sure, he was famous and talented and handsome and kind and actually interested in my life, but he–we weren’t supposed to–god he was pretty wasn’t he?

“Huh?” Damn it Y/N! What kind of a response is fucking ‘huh’. The awkward silence was growing rapidly with every second and I was beginning to panic. Tyler’s eyes were locked onto mine, his face conflicted but retaining the little confidence he had. “I–uh. Does Josh know?” He shook his head, holding my hand closer in his hand and rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. He let out a short chuckle, his eyes darting away for a moment in embarrassment. It was a quiet chuckle, one that let out some of the shakiness he had before. 

“No, he doesn’t,” he muttered. “And I’d rather he didn’t know until… well until I’ve talked to you about it,” he continued, glancing up at me again and meeting my gaze. I nodded, trying to bite back the delusional smile growing on my face. He undoubtedly had noticed my poor attempt because his nervous demeanor softened as he cupped my face. “Can I do something that I’ve wanted to do for a really long time?” I hummed a yes, looking up at him through my eyelashes. He let out a shaky breath, his heart racing as he moved his free hand to gently rest against my chin. He tilted it up so he could meet and hold my gaze. He could feel his own eyes staring into mine as he almost lost all train of thought. There was so much I wanted to say. My brain was speeding like a bullet, endless trains of thought rushing through a mile a minute. He leaned forwards slowly, his hand still holding my chin and his other hand gently gripping my fingers. He was so close I could see every single detail–every tiny imperfection and scar, every eyelash, and every crease. There was something about him that made me feel like my life depended on this one moment and I absolutely could not mess this up. His thumb brushed against my lower lip and my eyes fluttered closed. He pulled my chin so he could meet me face to face, my neck tilted up to look at him directly. His cheeks had reddened from the intimacy of the moment. His eyes were staring into mine again, his gaze flickering between my eyes and my mouth. He was so incredibly close to me, his lips millimeters from my own. I could feel his warm breath against my face, my own coming out shakily. His fingers moved from my chin to my jaw, his touch feather-like against my skin. His thumb continued to gently brush back and forth across my lower lip and I found myself leaning up to him without even thinking. I didn’t think he could get any closer, but then he started to move his head down towards mine, and my breath got caught in my throat. I was absolutely, one hundred percent, completely and utterly screwed. My heart stopped as he pressed his lips to mine. I didn’t realize until now just how much I wanted this. How badly we had wanted each other. I breathed in sharply, trying to control myself and the flood of emotions that were trying to swallow me whole as I reached up to cup his face with both my hands. He pulled me closer to him, so that there was no space left between us. He let every single piece of love he had for me pour out of his body and into the kiss. And he made sure I felt it by pulling me so that I was almost in his lap, my legs on either side of his as he ran his hand up and down my back and through my hair. Everything he was doing was perfect, the kiss and the way his hands felt against my body. He was everything. I broke the kiss to take a breath, pulling back and getting my hair out of my face. “I’m guessing you probably want to give us a go then?” Tyler laughed, his hands moving down to my waist. I nodded, cupping his jaw with my right hand. “I’ve waited so long to do that.” He breathed out. He was smiling, a genuine smile. He gently gripped my hips, shifting me a little so I was fully in his lap. “You have absolutely no idea just how long I've wanted to kiss you.” 

“Well I’m glad I’m not the only one who was thinking about this,” I laughed. “At least now my dates aren’t going to ask me about Josh or the band.” Tyler’s chest rose and fell with each breath. 

“That’s true. Now you’re with the lead singer,” he sarcastically bragged. 

A quiet shuffling noise sounded through the hallway causing me to dart my head over Tyler’s shoulder. 

“Shit.” I climbed off his lap and grabbed my glass, running into the kitchen before the shuffling reached us. Josh. He was wearing his red plaid pajama pants and was shirtless. 

“Hey,” he croaked, rubbing his eyes. 

“How was your date?” he asked, filling up his water bottle in the sink. I looked at Tyler who had his arms folded behind his head and a smirk covering his face. I flashed a warning his way before answering my brother. 

“He was asking about you and the band,” I muttered, “we’re not having another date.” Josh looked apologetic, a hint of regret tangled in his voice. 

“I’m sorry. You’ll find someone–I’m sure of it,” he sighed, pulling me into a hug. 

“Yeah I have a feeling you’ll find someone soon. For all you know they could be right in front of you,” Tyler chimed. 

“Yeah, they could be right under your nose,” Josh yawned, pulled in into a hug before disappearing back into the hallway and away to bed, leaving Tyler and I alone once again. I waited a bit before jumping back onto the couch next to him, falling into his embrace. 

“You cannot do that again,” I scoffed, shoving him playfully. 

“You know you love it."

//

Requests open!!

[seijorhi]

Hey Rhi! Hope you’ve been well!

I recently binged through all your Tokyo Rev fics and it made me think of something. I really love the concept of Tailspin with Chifuyu being the one to remember the past timeline. The simultaneous regret of how they treated reader being balanced with this uncontrollable desire to be with her again was so great and really fascinating to me.

It made me think, what do you think Mikey would do in a post-bonten/sink to the depths timeline where those events never happened, but he’s still able to remember them in the new timeline? On one hand, he was in love with reader, but how she was treated by him and bonten was a complete nightmare for her. I guess it depends on which timeline, but do you think that would make him hesitate from trying to find reader in this new timeline (to prevent her from being dragged into his mess of a life) or would he not be able to resist finding her anyway?

hi nonnie first of all ily <33

so if chifuyu's fucked up about it, mikey.... oof. man's got trauma big time.

doesn't help matters that when he was on the brink of complete self destruction the reader became his emotional support pussy person.

on the one hand, of course she's better off far, far away from him and sanzu and kakucho – all of them. it was an obsession, fucked up and depraved and sickening and damn it all to hell if does he wish he could feel that disgust all the time.

it'd be easier that way, to focus the hate inwards and pretend that's all it was. that there aren't nights he doesn't like awake and fucking miss her like a part of him's been ripped away. that his cock doesn't stir at the filthy dreams – memories – that won't leave his head.

on the really bad days, it's like an ache. an itch. incessant. he misses her.

he'd taint her all over again.

so he should leave her alone. stay as far away as humanly possible.

there's a problem, though. two, if he's being completely honest with himself. the first is that along with their whole sordid relationship, he remembers how the reader managed to end up in bonten's clutches in the first place. bonten doesn't exist anymore, obviously, but just because he and his friends aren't running around as gangsters anymore doesn't mean bad men, bad luck and bad circumstance have ceased to exist.

her brother's probably still a bottom feeding piece of shit with a gambling problem. there's every chance he's gonna do something just as stupid this time, and she'll inevitably be the one to pay for it. glass stones and houses and all that bullshit, he doesn't like it. no one's allowed to touch her. no one but him.

the other problem, the one he's less eager to admit to himself, is that he wasn't the only one fucked up over her. the haitani's might not look twice (he thinks. hopes, maybe), and who knows with sanzu, but kakucho? koko? they might not remember any of it, but if they walked past her in the street, bumped into her at a bar, would they feel that pull in their gut? would it spark something?

mikey hates the thought of her in danger, being mistreated – by her brother or by anyone else, but there's a sick, possessive part of him that hates the thought of any of them taking her too.

she was his first.

but even if he shoved that all aside, buried his head in the sand and pretended he wasn't slowly being driven out of his mind by her, the universe is a funny thing. one way or another, it'll work its magic and shove her right back into his path.

some things are just... fated.

[kyleiskoool]

ok guys this is gonna be a massive non coherent yap but I had this idea and I want to expand on my brain.

okay so like avenue q duh doi and road and nicky dyh doeeieieie....!!!!

okay okay so sos sosoosososos.... fantasies come true. even though we know my opinions on fantasies true dialogue (mid asf) doesn't mean I still wont manipulate canon to my liking.

also little sidetrack i still am kinda iffy about nicky being with rod. i feel like what I meant was that if in new productions they changed the script so that rod and nikcy would be together it wouldn't be very funny esp if they just slotted it in. BUTTTTT if they kept the vibes in the demo- eg rod singing in the move you ruv someone and THE OG FANTASIES COME TRUE DIALOUGE GANG!!!!! okay bc this basically ties in to how I feel fantasies come true works in canon but I still am being rodnicky. but yeah basically this paragraph is saying rodnicky would be good in canon if it was that from the start but not if they changed the script.

okay now onto the actual point of the post. this is based on canon but isn't actually me trying to game theory about this I'm just yapping. OKAY SO IDK HOW TO SAY THIS COHERENTLY BUT obvs rod is sleeping and dreaming. but I was thinking..... so nicky suspects rod IS gay. he doesn't think that rod is gay for nicky and lowkey nobody else ever suggests that in the musical... everyone just thinks he's gay. not that he's in love with nikcy (which is obvs why he was so hesitant to come out) bc like nicky is okay with him being gay, but is he okay with rod like liking him!?!?!? yk!

so obviously nicky thinks rod is a closeted homowhatever but he doesn't understand WHY rod gets so upset about this!!!!!! because yeah being gay is a lot more scary when you like your best friend (been there, done that, tldr is he found out and we stopped being friends) esp in the early 2000's like.... basically where I'm trying to go with this, is everyone thinks he's gay but gay in general not gay for nicky.

this leads into dialouge in fantasies come true but like from nickys perspective. andsince I first listened to the soundtrack I have always wondered what rod was saying... surely he was just mumbling the words of the song... (and now I find what was always in my mind was in your mind too blah blah) but... like hear me out gang... this is where it's already fallen off the rails but continues to tumble down a hill.

i like to think... hey what if rod was saying shit like 'i love you nicky' kinda the same as what dream nicky was saying???? BUT since the dialouge after fct nicky is like "sounded like a nice dream" BC HE HEARD ROD MUMBLING ABOUT LOVING SOME GUY. but you know what nicky heard??? he didn't hear nicky????? rod is numbing in his sleep. WHAT IF NICKY THOUGHT ROD SAID RICKY...

and bc we know nicky is a fucking dumbass he gets upset BC DO YOU WANNA KNOW THE NEXT PART OF OUR STORY.

NICKY IS BI.

THATS WHY HES 'NOT GAY' BC HE'S BI SO HES LIKE TRYING TO LIE TO ROD BUT HES NOT ACTUALLY LYING. and basically he thought rod was gay but wanted him to come out so he knew he had some sort of chance with rod. but obviously the entire time NICKY WAS THE ONE MISSING THE SIGNS. NICKY CANT READ BTW THE LINES. and he's sitting here through their entire friendship like 'i really do think rod is gay but if he's gay I still dont see why he'd like me bc I'm just his college roomie but I want him to come out because there's some possibility' but he's being DELULU GANG he's saying this bc he wants to think that rod likes him back!!!!! but he doesn't actually believe that.

ANYWAYS HE STILL WANTS ROD TO LIVE HIS AUTHENTIC SELF AND all that jazz. so ughhhhh I'm so obsessed with this stupid guy. he hears rod mumble a 'i love you ricky' and then when he goes and gets rod a boyfriend he sees someone called ricky and gets excited knowing rod will like it.

also its an insane concept to gift someone a boyfriend but that's whatever.

anyways thats how i can still be a rodnicky canon truther while it still not actually happening in canon. i feel like I had more to say about this but I have since forgotten.

but yeah so nicky gets sad because he cant be boyfriends with rod but he's still happy because he loves being around rod and AHAHAHHAAHGSHJKJHGFDDFGH.

also more yap while im here you guys are already this far along but oh my god rod nicky is literally so sad like wtf. rod kicking nicky out not because he's a slob. not because he's lazy. not because he never helps but because HE LOVES HIM TOO MUCH IS A CRAZY CONCEPT (and also because he kinda outed him/pressured him but shhhh)

then LATER. WHEN NICKY IS HOMELESS. HE APPROACHES ROD WITH ALL THE JOY IN THE WORLD GOING "HEY BUDDY" AND ROD WITH EVERY FIBER IN HIS BEING HAS TO IGNORE HIM "IS THAT A BREEZE IN THE WIND I HEAR FLOATING PAST" OR WTV THE LINE IS IDHGFGHJKUY. STOP. STOP NOW ROD.

being around you is torture but being away is worse than anything trope has a chokehold on me. nicky depends on rod financially and also as someone who he can just latch onto and talk to and share his curiosity with and rod needs nicky so he can function as a person.

like guys... after nicky was kicked out and everyone else had yk been happy bc kate got her school and whatever, we haven't seen rod for basically ALL of act two apart from the nicky interaction and him going 'i miss nicky :(' in a therapy session with Christmas eve!!!! an then everyone heard a loud bang and they all think HE HAS KILLED HIMSELF. like???? gang. no way you're so gay that YOUR THERAPIST who we can presume he talks to about missing nicky all the bloody time hears a loud bang and think you've ended it like gang.

okay that was kinda irrelevant but like everyone was convinced he was so gay he committed like what. what a crazy end to avenue q if that actually happened tho.

anyways then it turns out he just gets a boyfriend and all of their gay tension was for NOTHING! lame as fuck btw.... don't tease us with gay.

anyways this devolved into the most horrendous horribly thought up rant I have ever made and it did not stay on topic at all. if you read all of that hats off to you because uhhh. lets just say I am a yapper who doesn't actual think about his yap and just lets my fingers go. so uhh yeah that's kindof all my thoughts about rodnicky in canon. not all of them. but yeah how I think that nicky heard and the implications of it ig!!!

[iamumbra195]

So I just came across a post about Pavitr in the comics having an existential crisis about not being white like all the other different variations of Peter Parker (I’m definitely reading his comics at some point).

But now I’m remembering something from when I was a kid and I was wondering if this was like a universal POC experience from before you actually understood the concept of race and discrimination or if it was a just a weird fucked up thing my mind came up with.

See when I was younger, I was in an arab predominated school, there were like two other black girls but one of them was lightskin (I didn’t even know she was black until like second grade XD) and I hated the other for... various reasons (she was my bully for like six years but we ain’t gonna talk about that) so like I had no sense of kinship with like anyone in my class or school 

Because of that environment and the fact that I didn’t know why the racist secratary always got me in trouble while letting the other girls get away with not wearing the proper uniform until like fifth grade, I had so much fucked up self esteem like when I tell you all my memories of looking in the mirror as a little kid were so messed up-- I straight up hated my appreance and would see like this warped monster thing, I’m being completely honest. When I look back at pictures of five/six year old me I’m like ‘I was cute, why the hell do my memories look so different?’

Not to mention all the colourism and older people who looked like me telling me not to stand in the sun too much so I wouldn’t get any darker. I wanted straight hair for soooo long-- like all the way until I was thirteen and relaxed my hair for the first time and ended up ruining it for like five years after that.

Here comes the fucked up part. 

I never actually met a lot of my extended family when I was younger, so when I would imagine them, I would imagine them looking nothing like me because my mom always told me they looked pretty-- I would imagine them as ARAB, like with dark wavy/straight hair and all their predominate features. 

Anyways, I was a little tiny bit surprised when I met them and they looked nothing like my imagination. But the worse part was perhaps the fact that literally every single one of them had naturally straight/wavy hair or they relaxed it every few months so it would stay that way. I was still obsessed with straight hair at that point so when they offered to get the lady who does their hair to relax my hair I was super happy and excited about it but guess what??? 

She ruined my hair. I lost so much of it, it became dry and tangly because she didn’t bother doing it properly because I was catching a flight in like three days and I needed to leave the thing in for like two days so by the time I got the results it would be too late for me to ask her to fix it or give us our money back.

For the next like three years I kept cutting my hair until all the damage grew out completely and now I don’t have a lot of hair and it’s doesn’t grow as much as it used to.

So yeah.  

I wasn’t around white ppl a lot as a kid, no public school or anything so I think experience was different and my ‘beauty standards’ were more arab beauty standards but Idk tell me if you guys had a similar experience.

Circling back to the thing I said about Pavitr, I felt like that period of my life was the time where I really related to Pavitr’s existential crisis because I constantly felt ugly or that I wasn’t good enough because I didn’t look like the girls around me. I was also kinda (?) bullied for being chubby so that did nothing to help.  

So yeah, I have a lot of feelings about this. UGH.

I really hope they explore that part of Pavitr’s life a little bit in BTSV

P.S.: does anyone else feel really disconnected from their ethnicity and culture and feels really awkward at barbeques with distant cousins and their extended family because you feel like you don’t belong or that they’re judging you because you can’t speak your native language and have grown up mostly around judgy, racist old arab people as your teachers so you adopted a lot of arab mannerisms and.... yeah, I’m gonna talk about this another day

[unreone]

Did anyone else read this HTF fanfic?

Somewhen ranging from 2011 to 2016, I lurk at fanfiction.net to read fake htf episodes.

One fic I'm longing to read again is "HTF Death Battles".The concept of the entire fic is that it's a death battle between unlikely pairs. You think you would know who would win but it's not gonna turn out the way it is.

Chapters i remember are the following:

● The Mole vs Splendid

Superpowers against technique. (The Batman vs Superman of the htfverse-) Splendid have gone rouge and become power hungry. The government didn't anticipate this. Coming out of the retirement is The Mole tasked with apprehending the once beloved superhero. I remember reading the author's notes how this was blossomed from the fact that both Splendid and The Mole have their own KaPOW episodes. I don't really remember much from this chapter since the focus is on the brutal action between the clashing figures. My bias at the time made me root for Splendid despite The Mole being put in the good side <<< this behavior may have some links to me liking The BOYS series (ㅎㄷㅎ)

● Russell vs Buddhist Monkey

I remember crying to this one, my fave chapter out of all.

Russell is depicted as a ruthless captain who once travel the sea with a crew. When he arrive at the town/village where Buddhist Monkey lives, he was all by his lonesome. 'He did what he have to do to survive'. His goal is to pillage the place with all of its treasure and satiate his craving for blood. Buddhist Monkey tried to settle everything with peace at first but after harming someone in front of his eyes, he just have to do something.

I remember myself just imagining the Russell by the end of 'Get Whale Soon' with his manic eyes and laughter. Also like playing "Enter the Garden" on low volume while reading the battle sequence to really set the mood.

Russell was distracted by a specific type of flower that his lover once wore and that moment of hesitation is what caused his demise as Buddhist Monkey end his life for good. "How could he have turned out like this?" Exploring the ship, Buddhist Monkey found the travel logs and read the tragedy that is the life of Russell. Russell's corpse was buried with the flower next to it. His name and his lover's name was engraved with the words below saying "May these souls truly found peace."

● Sniffles vs Cro-Marmot

Sniffles is funded by the goverment to accomplish a scientific breakthrough in relation to cryogenics. Sniffles and Flaky is a couple here but theyre on the brink of a breakup since Sniffles is so obsessed with his project, which is thawing out Cro Marmot. There's a line something like "Since you pay attention to him that much, why dont you marry it already".

Anyway- he was alone in his lab and did sum thingy majigs and successfully thawed out the upper half of Cro Marmot. He actually speak English and that startles Sniffles. Cro Marmot explained that he's been on display for museums all throughout the world.

Cro Marmot talks about learning all there is to know about history and science. He is willing to share the most important truth to Sniffles once he is completely free. The fucking dumbass did so and the foken monster laugh.

The truth is that all knowledge is useless and satisfying primal urges is the only important thing. And his primary instinct right then and there is to satiate his hunger.

With his club, he smashed the machinery and that causes the lights to turn out. I cant remember the next stuffs but it's just a matter of Sniffles using his tools and wit to escape and Cro Marmot using violence and strength.

Their conversation includes something like You're no different than me. You feed your hunger for knowledge too and the strongest ones conquer everything alone.

Eventually, even if he is covered by bruises, Sniffles manage to trap Cro Marmot. Sum chemical combo activated and it's some type of coolant so he started to freeze. Cro Marmot was freezed while he is yelling, baring a very spooky expression.

After panting a bit, Sniffles called Flaky. He was compelled to share what he just experience but he suppressed his ramblings and choose to apologize. The two reconnect and the fic was over

===============================

Unless I was just hallucinating everything and I'm actually staring at an unplugged computer the whole time-

I'm really REALLY sure this fic existed because I was always hyped talking about the chapters with my classmates. I may have got some specific details wrong but I am nodding my dino head off from the general concept being right.

Here's to me hoping somebody else here have read it, better yet, archived/know the link of the fic in some way, shape or form.

Thanks for your timeeeee!!!!!

[demcnsinmymind]

More talk about the Azzy-Lance relationship (long edition lmao)

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that listening to Male/volent has thrown me into a bit of a writing crisis because a lot of it is sooooooooooooo similar to the way I portray Lance and Aza/thoth and the lines have been blurred for a bit there, but I think I'm starting to get their voice back a bit more again so I just want to ramble a bit more about the relationship.

It's pretty much canon that Lance is somewhere on the Stockholm Syndrome / Trauma bond spectrum, made especially visible in that last GE2 act where he was screaming at people that it chose him and no one else (lolololololol NOT gonna talk about the fucking ending but some of it is good at last). And that in return, the building/Azzy is obsessed with him and considers him its honey in the trap to lore more victims in on the basis that they just want to help him.

Azzy/the building is so very hard to write because it is so chaotic and its motivations are so incredibly basic. I really do think that the aspect of just wanting more is really all there is to it and I've been talking about that too. The concept of a black hole just devouring everything because that's just what it is. No real ill intentions with a real sinister evil motive. It's just destructive by default and it's having fun with it. That kinda makes it somewhat evil by default but it's just....hard to explain. How I consider something as not evil and yet evil at the same time. Fucking fits the thing just fine doesn't it. Hard to make sense of, chaotic, barely describable.

Anyway. That also applies to the relationship. It is so hard to really explain, but I am thinking there are definite difference compared to John and Arthur's relationship in Malevolent.

I do headcanon they also have their 'sweet' moments and I do realize how fucking weird and questionable that is, considering the origin of their relationship. But I do headcanon that Azzy has no interest in truly tormenting or hurting Lance. Don't get me wrong. It loves a good hit of his paranoia and fear and depression and self loathing and it definitely will manipulate him into falling back into it all every now and then so it can feed on that. It's incredibly addicted to his everything, more so than any of the emotions of other people, even though his are actually lesser 'meals' than what it can get out of other people with worse problems than him.

And it certainly is running one hell of a commentary track inside his head all the time and though he pretends that it annoys him, he actually doesn't mind that at all. He's flawed and self centered as hell and he loves when it praises him and calls him pet names and makes him feel special. And he also likes that it really knows everything about him. No filter. And not having had that burden of letting all of that out by himself because let's face it, there's no way he'd EVER tell anyone else all of that of his own volition. He would never, yet at the same time he won't deny that it feels nice to have someone he doesn't have to lie to or play an act for.

It's like so super raw and unfiltered, for better or worse. And some of the sweet moments I talked about earlier features mundane things like them watching movies and reality tv shows together. They both love that shit so much. The more drama, the better.

And contrary to what people might think given his initial state - post Collingwood - aka near starved and with serious health issues and all. Azzy takes good care of his body. It is not the one starving him intentionally. It has bad effects on food, but I actually HC it being the one to force him into healthier habits. It wants him in tip top physical shape. If it were up to it, it would fucking pamper him with expensive clothes and food and what not and it certainly keeps trying. It can also spend hours just fucking staring at him in a mirror. Legit obsessed, and the thing is that he doesn't find it creepy, he fucking likes that.

I know it makes Lance sound so shallow and in a way he is but he's so much more than this, but I really feel the need to stress that the relationship really boils down to that one specific aspect of him. Coupled with the fact he's never had that many friends, and has always been frosty both with other intimate relationships. And his desire for punishment, too.

However, the more I keep trying to entangle them from the Malev influence I've gone through lately, the more I also realize some other things about Azzy. I still think it's COLD with him. It will pamper his body to the high heavens. It keeps him protected af. It doesn't want to torture or harm him with the exception of killing him to make him immortal and keep him forever. However, it does not consider Lance its equal. It does not consider him its friend. It doesn't know what friends are. It doesn't care what friends are.

If it offers to listen to him when he's upset or scared, when it offers anything to him, even protection, it's not out of tenderness. Or goodness. It's out of obsession. Addiction. And because all of those emotions and motions he goes through and everything it gets through him, both ecstatic and good or horrific and bad...that's food. That's about the sake of more. And because it cares about him like that and that deeply. But not as a true friend.

And Lance is equally addicted to that constellation. The shallow and unconditional obsession and praise. Getting to share everything and having something so severely intimate in a way he's never had and never will. For all the wrong reasons. Because he has so much trouble going so unfiltered with people he knows care about him. And whom he cares about in return. He's just legit incapable of it with anyone else. Azzy is the only one who fits his very weird criteria of a deep relationship.

Unlike Azzy, he does consider it a true friend and he's not cold with it, no matter how often he complains about it being annoying and rolling his eyes at the stupid shit it pulls. He'll open up to it, genuinely, and it indulges him. That's how it got him in the first place. It is very good at faking being a true friend who only wants what's best for him.

At the same time, I find it very fascinating how vile and furious it gets over his severe trauma. It utterly loathes Friedkin for what he put Lance through. Most likely because the prospect of him dying and losing him infuriates it. Though there still will be some reactions from it that could hint at genuine care. It wouldn't like seeing him tortured. It wouldn't like seeing him go through serious trauma. So it does care, but from an obsession kind of view. And to him, that's good enough.

[magicalgirlmascot]

Alright more old human!Bonkles designs Hordika edition

So if memory serves, the idea was that they were stuck in their Toa forms and couldn't transform back until they got un-Hordika'd, which is why they all have their Toa hair and eye colour, as well as uniforms. The green marks on all their faces was I think supposed to be like...Visorak bite marks? Or something? I don't remember, just that the Rahaga didn't have them because they weren't mutated by Hordika venom. Anyway.

Of course Vakama was the edgy wolf boy. I mean. It was 2012 and also look at him. Honestly though what else would he be lol wolf fits

Matau, being the one most upset by the change and wanting to be human So Bad, generally tried to keep his tail around his waist like a belt (YES like in Dragon Ball Z) and wore gloves to hide his hands.

ALRIGHT DON'T JUDGE THE POSE she's supposed to be stretching out like a cat. I was 18 be nice. Anyway of course Nokama was a catgirl we needed to have a catgirl. I think it's very funny that for KNPS we've made Onewa the catgirl instead. He deserves it.

I'll be honest I'm pretty sure the main reason I made Onewa a croc was because Pokemon Black and White had just come out a couple years ago and I was obsessed with the Sandile line, so I associated crocodiles with the desert. Idk. I guess it fits him. He'll bite your legs off.

Really have no idea where this one came from if I'm being honest. I think the thought process was "big=ox?" I'm not sure.

Nuju was a bat because Ice Bats! Honestly I'm not sure why he's the only one allowed to wear jeans. I had a weird little heteronormative crush on him in college, maybe I just wanted him to be sexy, idk. He's got his belly out and everything, put that away, you're going to freeze to death and/or give Whenua a complex!

I'm not gonna lie I actually do still like the concept for this one? Something about the half-scales just speaks to me. I mean it doesn't make sense because he was definitely supposed to be some kind of gecko but it looks cool. The Rahaga's animals were all based on what kinds of animals they were meant to be good at tracking. Norik I really tried to make look like someone's friendly dad.

And then for Iruini I didn't even fucking try lmao. Yes I know his name is misspelled. He's a spider, apparently, and he does not want to fucking be here let this man go home

MILF

Coming to the distressing realization that my design choices for all the Black characters in this are just "big and beefy" which is. Not great. Pouks also doesn't want to be here. At least Onewa hadn't decided to completely forego pants and run off into the woods to bang a cryptid in this universe, so Pouks has that going for him.

Like Norik, I do like a lot of aspects to Bomonga's design here. I don't know if I like them for Bomonga specifically but I like the overall design, I think it's alright.

Honestly of all of them I think Kualus is still my favourite. He just looks good idk what to say. Also am I insane did he ever get referred to as having a scarf in canon or did I accidentally predict that by like 10 years

[leofrith]

writing asks: 3, 22, 30?

3. How would you describe your writing style?

I honestly have no idea. 🧍🏻‍♀️ When someone figures it out, please let me know.

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

Telling the same story but with one element slightly to the left just to see the ripple effect. Every writer is gonna have their own variation of an idea and if it's a concept I enjoy, I will happily read 50 different versions of it.

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

Gd sooo many. I'm hesitant to apply this to basically any fic idea from the last 2-3 years because there's always a chance a hyperfixation will pick back up again (hello Star Wars, my fucking beloathed 💔). But the one that comes to mind that was the most thought out (and I will almost certainly never write, because it's a longfic) was a post Clone Wars canon divergent AU in which Ahsoka and Rex stick together after the Jedi purge instead of splitting up right away (this has since been made canon anyway, but it wasn't at the time).

Ahsoka is captured by the Empire and brought to the Inquisitorius, where Vader takes a special interest in her—for obvious reasons—though Ahsoka doesn't know his identity yet. After much "reeducation" she becomes Vader's second and is in constant opposition to the rest of the inquisitors, who have been there longer and hate her for jumping ranks so quickly. Reva didn't exist yet because this was pre-OWK series, but if I were to write it now I would have her there as well. There was also gonna be a mildly toxic romantic subplot between Ahsoka and Trilla, because I fucking love that rare pair, with them being rivals who slowly become each other's only anchor to their own humanity. Rex, meanwhile, does everything he can to find Ahsoka and get her back, going undercover within the Empire and staging a clone rebellion while doing so.

I don't remember much else about the details, but I do remember a very specific plot point featuring Rex giving Ahsoka one of his blasters so she has something to defend herself with after having ditched her lightsabers. She has it with her when she's captured and Anakin recognizes it, becoming obsessed with capturing Rex as well and "reuniting" the trio.

yet another writing ask

[daz4i]

actually i AM gonna post abt this again. sorry

like when i say they make me feel like i'm in a story. i mean it

we started talking and immediately clicked. talked nonstop for days really

we both had relationships like that years before, but then paused that behavior bc we were young and it wasn't the healthiest, but now we were adults and knew better. it was the first one after that break for both of us

i avoided this behavior for awhile bc i knew it's not the healthiest but it felt so good when it happened. i (rightfully) feared the crash but at the time, the high was so worth it. and everything was going so smoothly too. things kept aligning just right all the time

every time i thought something is gonna come up or that i did something wrong and now it's all gonna blow up, they proved that i had no reason to worry, bc they let it slide immediately, even liked it

we kind of completed each other in every way. liked the same things and had a lot in common, but were opposites in enough things that we weren't TOO similar

i stopped worrying abt annoying them relatively early into the whole thing (usually it takes me months or even years, or i never stop at all. here it was maybe 2-3 weeks)

we became actually close right on their birthday. a small thing but you gotta admit if this was a story it'd be poetic as hell

every time they had a problem and i jokingly said i'm sending a spell their way to fix it, it passed after like 2 minutes. absolutely insane coincidence stuff

i mentioned this before. and this is gonna be embarrassing but. we met through, well, kin stuff lol. they kin chuuya, i kin dazai, we joked abt kindating etc. anyway my mental health was shit but they genuinely uplifted me a lot. they made me want to live for the first time in who knows how long, maybe ever. i think you can tell why i prefaced this story with that fact 🥲 embarrassing but real

and now this shit? 😭 another small thing but like. i make a post abt them bc now is generally around the time we started talking, and someone i follow queued a post from their blog and it posts right now?? they've been decativated for nearly a year HOW did this line up like that 😭

they unfortunately made me believe in the concept of soulmates :/ but as my friends (and mom. bc she saw me cry over the whole thing for days) said. if they cut me off and hurt me like that, they weren't ~the one~

and another thing that made me feel more like i'm in a teen movie is. i legit spent a day and a half in bed crying and barely doing anything else, after they cut me off. truly cliche stuff. actually that's a good way to put it - they made me feel like a cliche. still do when i think abt it a year later. it was a good thing at first, bad when it ended. i could make a movie abt this barely changing any detail and it'll be an average teen romantic comedy (except i'll have to add some happy ending there)

anyway let me finish all that by saying. who the fuck blocks someone on spotify 😭 dude...

(it's been a year and i got burned so badly from this whole thing that i seriously doubt i'll be able to love someone this much again. i need it to be an instant obsession to actually feel good about love, but i'll never be able to confidently go into any new relationship with that purpose because i'm just too scared things will hurt this much again. it's honestly so depressing lol 🥲 but what can ya do)

(i also became the most suicidal i've ever been since lol. probably bc of how big the drop was. it still hasn't gone away. part of why i see no point in life is bc of that previous paragraph. so.)

[orionsangel86]

I don't often ever really talk about these things but like, does anyone else have MAJOR franchise fatigue?

Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, HARRY FUCKING POTTER

I am so done with them all.

I'm gonna rant about Harry Potter for a bit. Fair warning.

I got tired of Harry Potter well over 10 years ago. The final movies hadn't even been released and because I have the disadvantage of living in bloody England Harry Potter bullshit has been EVERYWHERE for TWO FUCKING DECADES. I remember my friend dragging me to the studio tour because she got tickets for her bday. I like movie BTS stuff but my god the amount of BUY THIS BUY THAT that gets shoved in your face drove me mad. Proud to say that other than the OG books I read when I was a teenager I have never owned a single bit of HP merchandise in my LIFE. It took my irl friends bullying me to finally go on pottermore and get sorted into a Hogwarts house when I was 27. TWENTYSEVEN. I resisted for years!! I don't even care. They sat me down and made me log on to that stupid website and take the stupid quiz whilst I raised an eyebrow the whole time and tried to smile and pretend it was fun. After all, I'm not actually a total bitch and they are my friends and were enjoying themselves and I didn't wanna upset them. But why do I need to know if I'm a hufflepuff or whatever? Oh thats right, so I can buy the appropriate MERCHANDISE.

You know real witches make their wands? They go out and find a tree and ask the tree if they can take a branch, you have to give the tree something back and say a blessing. You can add crystals or ribbon or whatever you want but a wand is NOT something you buy in a bloody shop. I hate that HP made kids think that.

Why would anyone wanna buy a game about a nearly 3 decade old franchise thats been shoved in all our faces practically our whole lives (if you are a millennial or younger). Im not a gamer anyway so I don't get the appeal but even without all the transphobia and antisemitism involved the whole concept is extremely tiresome to me.

Can we please be done with Harry Potter now??? I dont wanna see it. I dont wanna see anything about it. I didnt give a fuck when I was in my early twenties and I dont give a fuck now in my late thirties its never been any fucking good. Its a rip off of Lord of the rings crossed with the writing of Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman anyway.

For years I felt awkward even mentioning to people that I didnt like Harry Potter, like it was a cardinal sin or something. I'm glad people are finally seeing it for what it truly it, even though I wish it didnt take the lives and rights of transpeople to get to this point. Its disgusting that its still so damn popular even WITH JKRs blatant transphobia. I hope the boycotts work. Trans and Jewish people you have my love and support, for both your sakes and so that bloody franchise can stop being shoved in my face everytime I leave the bloody house. Im glad people are finally picking it apart and realising how problematic it was. Things I think made me uncomfortable about it before I really understood the depth of reasons why.

I have been obsessed with witchcraft and paganism since I was a child. I was a weird kid. Harry Potter turned something I was passionate about in a deeply personal way into a consumerist nightmare. Witch became synonymous with it, spells, charms, magic, I'm honestly surprised JKR didnt try to copyright the terms.

Look I dont often talk about social issues. My tumblr is my escape from the injustices of the world and I take my mental health very seriously. But I support trans and jewish people in boycotting this game.

I care about trans rights, about the rights of LGBTQA+ people. The rise of antisemitism AGAIN deeply disturbs me. People truly never learn from history do they? I try to do my bit where I can offline. I have signed petitions, I have donated to causes where I have found them and I am most definitely gonna do my damndest to get everyone I know to vote the transphobic (and otherwise generally evil in every way) Tory government OUT at the next election.

This rant may come across a bit selfish. It is tbh. I am fucking glad Harry Potter isnt popular anymore. Though outside of online communities particularly in the UK its still huge and everywhere. I wish we could wipe it off the face of the Earth.

I am fed up of all these franchises though. If I never have to sit through another Marvel movie it'll be a happy day. If I never have to hear the fucking Star Wars theme again I'll celebrate, if I never have to read about another Disney remake again Ill be so relieved (although I do get some satisfaction reading about them flopping). This post capitalism hellscape we exist in is fucking exhausting.

What we really need to do with these franchises though is pull an Avatar on them (the blue people not the cool cartoon). We need to stop talking about them. Stop letting them infect our collective cultural consciousness. The only way to get them out of our faces is to actually let them die. We did it right with Fantastic Beasts. We can do it again. Remember that in capitalism, even negative press is good press, and the more the press focuses on the controversies and discourse, the more the name of the game is getting into the minds of consumers, especially those that dont give a fuck about trans rights or antisemitism.

I dont know where it ends, but my god I hope it HAS an end. Something surely has got to give right? Anyways. I dunno if there was a point to this rant other than im fed up of a lot of things and feeling particularly grumpy today, but anyways. Boycott Harry Potter and all things related to it.

Support trans rights. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Enough of this bullshit already.