#anyways lottie i have feelings and idk if this does them justice lmao

[spynorth]

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four headcanons for our muses

so in your reply to the thread you said in the tags that you were gonna twist the knife and make it so that lucas was the one who taught jack what he needed to know in order to work for beckett and I've been mulling that over a lot because, you know, i like to hurt myself emotionally but I'm starting to get this idea in my head that while he started off as sort of this just another job attitude, he saw a lot in jack that he recognized in himself. Jack was a quick learner and good at what he did but there was always this disquiet in the back of Lucas's mind because while he did indeed remind him of himself, Jack seemed to have an edge of steel inside that refused to bend and that disquiet was just understood once Jack went against Beckett. So all of this to say, suddenly the affection turns into a frustrated angry disappointment. Jack defecting makes him look bad, but it also sort of turns the mirror that he attempts to pointedly ignore back on his own reflection and Lucas hates what he sees and hates that Jack had more character when it came to standing up for the right thing.

that being said, he gave the order (on beckett's orders of course) for the fire that chased Jack out of London and while he watched from some secluded corner down the street, his throat tightened with what he told himself was smoke, but was actually regret. He was attempting to rid his boss of a rogue so to speak but he was also turning that .. what is the damn word .. self dislike???... that the situation with jack opened him up to, to ash as well. He eventually realizes that things don't work that way, and he's relieved when Jack survives.

Lucas did subtle things while Jack was hospitalized to ensure his employer's attention was elsewhere by the time he was released, which he likes to think helped the younger man escape. He didn't think much about him afterwards, Jack had moved on with his life away from Beckett and Lucas was able to move on with his by falling into that same old role.. but the entire situation served to make lucas aware that he could twist the narrative in small ways. not always, maybe, but enough to sate that bit of his conscience that hadn't completely snuffed out.

He is angry when Jack comes back. He sees it as Jack wasting a chance at a different life and honestly I think it bugs him too that with the other man back in danger, everything Lucas was using to tell himself about redemption, was in danger as well. He's not dumb enough to go against beckett openly, but he does use his cover as an mi5 agent to try and keep both sides as separate as possible, trying to make sure that nothing Jack does goes far enough to catch beckett's attention ... and when that no longer works, he reaches out trying to change the other man's mind. and we all know how that goes for him.