#anyways im gonna go to the movies again finally even though i havent long enough that my brain is like eh im over that

[bunnyb34r]

Gonna go get a UTI sitting in the movies for 3 hours 🥰 #TreatYourselfTuesday

[blxetsi]

Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

[robinrunsfiction]

A Long Way Home - Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~7900 total, about ~4450 in part 2 (minus the song lyrics used) Author’s Note: The song featured is Audience of One by Rise Against, it can be found in the playlist, here. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story!

As the tour rolled on, (YN) started to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the crazy commenters online were right about the possibility of her and Gerard being something.

It seemed like he always made time to see them perform now, and talked to her when he got the chance. It was never overtly flirtatious, but she couldn't help but wonder and hope that he was trying to get closer to her.

Unfortunately the tour had reached the halfway point and that meant saying goodbye to Taking Back Sunday. (YN) felt so thankful that she could now count Adam, John, Shawn and Mark among her friends.

Now Crystal Lake Cemetery had joined the tour and the overall vibe shifted. There had been such a welcoming camaraderie at first, but the new band didn't seem to want much to do with anyone else, returning to their own bus after their set was done. Rebecca and Jake took their lead, leaving Liam and (YN) to hang out with My Chem whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Now it was finally one of the rare days where there was enough time between shows to get a night in a hotel. Everyone appreciated the chance to get a decent shower and sleep in a real bed.

Everyone except (YN). She found herself on a couch in the hotel lobby after going out for dinner and drinks with Liam. He had started chatting with a guy, and ended up bringing him back to the hotel. All she could do now was wait for him to let her know it was ok to come back to the room and scroll through social media.

Up in his room, Gerard was doing the same when he noticed the square icon at the top of his phone. He smiled to himself when he saw that it was a notification that (YN) had updated her story.  He opened it up and saw it was a selfie of her pouting dramatically. With the caption "i havent been sexiled from a room since that semester i went to college 😫"

‘Where are you?���

The DM from Gerard surprised (YN), not only because he saw her post, but how quickly after posting it he responded.

‘Lobby. Liam brought a guy back, so I'm waiting for the all clear to go back up.’

‘Wanna hang out in my room?’

(YN) felt her heart rate shoot up. ‘Sure’ she replied as casually as she could with shaking fingers.

‘529′ he replied moments later and she jumped up, hurrying to the elevator. The ride up felt like it was moving painfully slow. She tried to keep her pace casual as she walked down the hall and smiled at Luke and Will, two of the members of Crystal Lake Cemetery who were talking in the doorway of the room across the hall, before knocking on Gerard's door.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile and she tried to keep from letting her knees go weak.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me up. I was getting kinda bored in the lobby,” she laughed as she walked in.

“Of course. Umm, wanna watch a movie?" Gerard asked as he made his way over to the couch.

"Sure, whatever's on," (YN) replied as she sat down next to him. She couldn’t help but wonder who designed the layout of the room with the couch not actually facing the tv as she found herself sitting sideways.

"Looks like The Martian is about to start, have you seen it?"

"Once when I was in a hotel room in Rochester, but I had taken so many cold meds that day, I'm pretty sure I thought I was a martian," she laughed. "I was so sick that tour. I hate when they schedule shows in the winter."

“I agree, those are always kinda miserable, seems like everything is always cold and wet. Oh, do you wanna stretch out?” He asked when he noticed how she was shifting uncomfortably.

“Sure,” she laughed a little nervously as she stretched her legs out over his lap. It wasn’t much later that her eyelids began to grow heavy and the next thing she knew, she was waking up as the end credits were playing, and her head was against Gerard's shoulder. Then she realized his arm was around her, his other hand on her shin, rubbing small circles, almost absentmindedly. "I guess I'm never gonna see this movie," she mumbled, feeling a little awkward.

"That's too bad, it was pretty good," Gerard laughed.

(YN) picked up her phone from where it had slid to the floor and saw that Liam still hadn't messaged her. "Damn dude," she muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, Liam still hasn't given me the all clear. I guess him and this guy really hit it off.”

"How are things with the other two? They never seem to be around much."

"Weird. I dunno, something is going on and no one is talking about it. Well no, they're talking about it, but not to us. Liam overheard Rebecca telling Jake that I’m selfish and I care more about the band as a concept than as four people making music together," she sighed. "And I do see it now that it's been pointed out."

Gerard shook his head. "I get it, I was the same way the first time round. I wanted everything to be the way I envisioned it in my head, I had that goal that I was working toward and that was all I was focused on. Though, for what it's worth, I think you're pretty great."

"Stop," she replied, covering her face with her hands to hide the fact that she was blushing.

"I'm not kidding," he said tugging at her wrists. When she looked up, he was smiling softly at her.

She shook her head. "Anyway, can I crash on your couch tonight? I'm not sure the staff would appreciate a rock star sleeping in the lobby."

"You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Gerard replied.

"Gee, no, I'm the one who is invading your space!" She said getting up.

"I invited you," he replied, getting up as well.

"Share?" The word tumbled out of her mouth before she could even realize what she said.

Gerard looked a little caught off guard. “Oh, umm, yea-”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. Again, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, (YN), it’s fine,” he shook his head. “Please don’t worry, we can share.”

She nodded. “Ok, fine.”

~

The next morning she woke up and Gerard was still sleeping peacefully next to her. That was a sight she felt like she could really get used to and had to restrain herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful and it warmed her heart. She rolled over and checked her almost dead phone, and found Liam had finally messaged her.

‘Ok, you can come back now’

‘Yooooooooooooo where are you i wanna talk to you come back’

‘For real text me back, i’m getting worried, if ur dead an its my fault im gonna be so mad at you’

She tried not to laugh out loud and wake Gerard. ‘I’m fine, found another room to crash in, we’ll talk soon 😁’

“Hey,” Gerard mumbled sleepily next to her.

“Hi. Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” she said as she rolled over and smiled at him.

“Anytime. I really like hanging out with you (YN).”

“Same. We should do it more often," she offered with a shrug.

"I'd love that," he replied softly.

"I should get going, Liam sent me about 100 texts," she said shaking her head. She got up and gathered the few things she had brought with her to Gerard's room. "Thanks again," she said. She didn't realize what she was doing when she held her arms out for a hug.

He smiled and got up and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he would notice, but he was so warm and smelled good, she quickly forgot her worried.

Eventually she pulled back, and gave him a wave before heading out. When she opened the door, she noticed the door across the hall quickly close. She shook her head in confusion as she headed back to her room.

~

From that day on, things began to get strange. Garden of Woe's gear and wardrobe carts were moved into different rooms, their dinner orders were cancelled, and at a soundcheck Liam and Rebecca both found their instruments wildly out of tune, despite the guitar tech claiming he had tuned them before any of the bands came in.

“It feels like someone is fucking with us,” Liam said shaking his head as he and (YN) hung out with My Chem’s in their dressing room.

“The only thing that’s different is Crystal Lake Cemetery is here now,” Mikey said cautiously.

“Why would they be messing with us though? Are they hazing us?” (YN) asked. “I’ve never experienced anything like this, and we aren’t close enough to them for this to be okay.”

“I’m gonna have the tour manager talk to them, it’s not right that this is happening to you,” Gerard said from his spot next to (YN).

“Thanks,” (YN) smiled up at him appreciatively.

“Of course,” he replied looking back at her fondly. They were again oblivious to the looks being exchanged by their friends around them.

The talk must have worked, as nothing further was done to mess with the bands stuff, but what (YN) didn’t know was how the rumor mill was now working overtime.

~

“I can’t deal with this, I fucking can’t deal with this. Fuck this, fuck you, I can’t believe it,” (YN) snapped before rushing out of the dressing room. Tears stung at her eyes, blurring her vision so she couldn’t see who she ran into. "Fuck, sorry."

“Woah, (YN) what’s wrong?” She heard Gerard ask. She just shook her head in response and looked up at the ceiling, trying in vain to keep the tears in place. She felt Gerard taking her arm and leading her into another dressing room for privacy. But as soon as the door was shut behind them, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

"It's over, it's all over," (YN) sobbed.

"What is? What's going on?" Gerard asked, concerned, rubbing her arms.

"Rebecca and Jake are leaving the band at the end of the tour."

"What?! Why?"

"They're gonna go have a kid and be a family and leave us behind," she wailed, the tears coming harder again. Gerard pulled her in tight and let her cry on his shoulder.

(YN) had no sense of how long she had been crying when she finally felt herself calming down and her tears slowing. "I'm so so sorry. You don't need to be bothered by my stupid problems. You're like the most important person here and I'm nobody. I’m nobody with no band anymore," (YN) said pulling back and wiping her eyes. She was thankful she hadn't put on her stage makeup yet, or his olive jacket would have been ruined.

Gerard shook his head, his eyes soft and full of sadness for her. "No, you’re important to me. And yea your band is gonna change, but you’re so talented, so is Liam, you're gonna do amazing things.”

“You think?” she asked looking up at him and he nodded. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”

“Anytime.”

She realized his hands had settled on her waist, and she looked back up at him as she clung to his jacket, to find he was still smiling down at her softly. This was the dream for her. Well, not the part where she found out half her band was leaving, but being held by Gerard Way while on tour together. The fan fic was practically writing itself in her mind until she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

“Ugh, I gotta go deal with this,” she replied when she saw the text messages rolling in from Clark in all capital letters with many expletives and exclamation marks.

~

Garden of Woe's show that night was not their best, but no one spoke of it, mainly due to none of the band members speaking to each other at all. The bus ride to the next town was silent and when they arrived, Liam and (YN) found a private place to talk about the situation alone.

"I can learn drums, and play and sing like Don Henley. Or we could call Dallon and Ryan and see if they wanna form a supergroup? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND Garden of Woe?" (YN) suggested.

"Genius," Liam laughed. "But (YN), we're gonna be fine. We'll figure this out as we go along. Well take a break and maybe they'll even change their minds."

"Jake maybe, but I doubt Rebecca will. She's been on edge for a long time, I just don't know if this life was ever for her. Maybe she's doing exactly what she needs to."

"What was it she called you?" Liam smirked.

"Scene whore," (YN) laughed darkly as she shook her head.

"Yea, that was something else.”

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I got my call with my therapist in five minutes."

"You doing ok?" Liam asked, concern crossing his face.

"This whole situation just reminded me a lot of what my mom did. Bailing on us to form a new family and all that."

Liam nodded thoughtfully, remembering how betrayed (YN) had felt when her mom left. "I get it," he replied as (YN) got up. "But hey."

"What?" (YN) stopped in her tracks.

"Remember what got you through back then?"

A smile fought its way across (YN)'s face. "Listening to hours and hours of My Chemical Romance?" Liam shrugged with a smug smile. "I'll give it a shot," (YN) laughed.

That night as she stood off stage (YN) felt like she was going to puke. The crowd was already so loud and the lights hadn’t even gone down yet.

“Ready?” Liam asked.

“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But fuck it, let’s go.”

The duo walked out on stage, where two stools and microphones were set up, a spotlight shining down. “What’s up California?!” (YN) shouted and the crowd cheered. “We are half of Garden of Woe, unfortunately Rebecca and Jake are both feeling under the weather tonight, so we’re gonna do a short acoustic set for you and then Crystal Lake Cemetery is gonna be out here to do an extra long set to get you hyped up for My Chemical Romance!”

The crowd cheered, albeit less enthusiastically than before. (YN) felt like shit lying to the audience like that, but Rebecca and Jake couldn’t be convinced to come off the bus, and it was either they do a modified set, or give up their time on stage altogether. The duo started with a couple of their best songs that sounded good while being played acoustically.

“Ok, we have one more song for you, it’s a cover of a song that means a lot to me by Rise Against. It’s called Audience of One. Thanks again guys you’ve been amazing,” (YN) said and Liam started playing. (YN) knew that it would take a miracle to make it through the song without breaking down.

I can still remember The words and what they meant As we etched them with our fingers In years of wet cement The days blurred into each other Though everything seemed clear We cruised along at half speed But then we shifted gears We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns But even then we should have stayed But we ran away Now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug You gave my emptiness a name Then you ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? We're all okay, until the day we're not The surface shines, while the inside rots We raced the sunset and we almost won We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on We ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone?

The tears streamed down (YN)’s face as she finished singing. She didn’t know if the crowd could see it or not, and she didn’t know if she cared either way. She waved with Liam at the crowd and retreated off the stage. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped her in a tight hug and she cried against his shoulder.

After calming down and washing her face, (YN) and Liam went out to the merch booth to sign for fans but not many turned up. As they headed back through the corridors of the venue, they spotted Clark heading toward them.

"If it isn't my favorite PR nightmare," Clark said, annoyance clear in his voice.

(YN) and Liam looked at each other. “Oooh, Liam’s in trouble,” (YN) sing-songed with a smirk.

“Not him.”

"Wait what did I do?" (YN) asked, eyes going wide, as Liam snickered.

“In here,” Clark said, nodding toward the dressing room door, shutting it behind them. "When did you start hooking up with Gerard?"

"What?! We haven't done anything, where did you hear that?!"

"Apparently just about everyone else on the tour is talking about it. They’re saying you've spent  nights with him, you’ve been spotted ducking into abandoned dressing rooms with him."

"Well yea, I mean I stayed over in his room when Liam was hooking up with that guy in Texas, but we just hung out! And the dressing room thing, I don't even know when that would be other than that time I ran into him and he was comforting me when I was upset about Rebecca and Jake. Who would make something out of nothing?"

“People love starting rumors, especially about big names,” Clark shrugged. "If this gets out of just this bubble, people are gonna think-"

"Yea, yea, I know what people are gonna think," (YN) waved him off.

"We have enough problems coming up at the end of this tour, can you at least make sure this isn’t one of them?" Clark sighed before leaving the room.

Liam let out a long sigh as well. "I'm sure he's making a big deal outta nothing, don't you think?"

(YN) didn't answer, she had her head in her hands, staring at the floor. "What if Gerard thinks I started those rumors? What if he never wants to hang out with me ever again because he thinks I read too much into when we've hung out and think there's more to our friendship than there is? Now even if we ever had a chance at something more, it's ruined."

~

The last few nights of the tour dragged by, but they were finally back in LA for the final four shows at the Forum. The bands were given the option of staying in a hotel near  the venue, but (YN) just wanted to go home. She was tired of going out of her way to avoid everyone, especially Gerard, and she wanted some peace and quiet, even if it meant dealing with traffic.

(YN) unlocked the door to her apartment and walked in, dumping her luggage just inside the door. She breathed in the stale air that filled the apartment from being closed up for two months. She felt like she was going to be taking on the world when she left, and now she was home feeling utterly defeated.

She wandered over into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with nothing but condiments that were very possibly expired. She checked the pantry and found a stash of canned soup and spaghettios. She got a pot of spaghettios heated up before moving on to her laundry.

As she threw her clothes into the washer, she wondered what she’d wear to the show tonight. Did it matter? These were the last four shows that the band would be performing together and she had to pretend like everything was fine. Should she really live it up, or give up? (YN) trudged back to her kitchen and started eating her half warm lunch straight out of the pot. Was this what her life was about to become? Miserable and alone?

That night when she arrived at the venue she hid in the dressing room until sound check. She continued to avoid everyone except Liam until the show started. After, she went to sign for the fans and for the first time she didn’t hurry back to see My Chemical Romance play. Her heart broke as she heard the first notes. She wondered if Gerard noticed she wasn't there. She wondered if he was glad she wasn't bothering him anymore.

As she laid in her bed the morning of the last show, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She had barely slept the last few nights, her mind racing, and she felt like shit. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and staring at her still bare pantry, the last can of spaghettios staring back at her. She sighed, the feeling of defeat over everything hitting her harder than it had yet.

Her doorbell ringing made her jump, pulling her from her thoughts. For a second she considered not answering. But when it rang again she decided to check who was interrupting her self-pity fest.

"Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door. "And how do you know where I live?"

"Liam told me.”

"Has he told you my blood type and social security number as well?" She sneered, but held the door open for him to come in.

"I was worried about you, (YN)," he said softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"Gee," she started running her hands through her hair frustratedly. "How could you possibly care about me? I am useless damaged goods! I'm barely functional! I've been eating spaghettios for the last four days because I can't bring myself to go to the store. My band is about to break up, and meanwhile people think I fucked my way onto the tour of a lifetime. Everything is," her voice started to crack as she sank down on the couch. “This was supposed to be the best thing ever, and it was at first, but now it’s ruined and you should hate me.”

“Why?” He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t you think I started those rumors about us?” She looked up at him.

“No!” he replied. “God no, I know you better than that (YN). And I know those assholes from Crystal Lake Cemetery. Now I wish we never had to bring them along on this tour because it meant that I’ve had to spend time away from you these last few days.”

(YN) was dumbfounded. “Do, do you mean that?”

Gerard nodded. “Mikey told me like the second day of tour just to ask you out, but I didn’t think I’d have a chance in hell with you. And then I got to know you even better and I, I knew I was falling for you, but I still don’t believe you could feel the same way about me.”

“How could I not?” She asked, astonished.

“Because you’re this amazing up and coming star, you’re beautiful, and funny and could get any guy you could possibly want and I’m older than you, I got an ex that everyone knows and still brings up and a kid. Because I got this grey hair, and I look like this,” he said gesturing to his body as he looked down forlornly.

“Gerard, stop it,” (YN) snapped. “I will not tolerate you being so mean to someone I love.”

His head shot up, eyes wide. "(YN), do you mean that? Do you really want me?"

"More than you could ever know," she whispered, not breaking eye contact.

Gerard leaned in and kissed (YN) hard. She immediately responded by grabbing his jacket to pull him closer before reaching up to run her hand through his hair. His hands were on his waist as he leaned into her. She took the lead, pulling him back so he was laying over her on the couch. He deepened the kiss as she let him move his tongue against hers.

When they came up for air, Gerard brushed the hair out of her eyes and she laughed lightly. “I missed that sound,” he said quietly. “God, I love you (YN). Fuck what anyone says, I wanna be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“I thought that kiss made it pretty clear I do,” she laughed softly again and he blushed. “Because I love you too, everything about you.”

He leaned in and kissed her again. “Would you like to go get lunch before we gotta be at the venue?” He asked when he pulled back.

“I would love nothing more than to not eat another can of spaghettios and get lunch with you,” she laughed.

They grabbed lunch at one of Gerard’s favorite spots, finding a secluded corner where they could talk away from any fans who might just happen to stop in. (YN) had been spending so much time with Gerard before Clark told her about the rumors that she felt like they had so much to catch up on after just a few days apart.

“So how was this for a first date?” Gerard asked after they finished eating.

“Perfect,” (YN) nodded contentedly. Gerard was looking at her with a soft smile on his face. “What?” she laughed.

“I’m just really happy,” he said, taking her hand.

“For the first time in quite a while, I am too,” she agreed.

When Liam saw Gerard and (YN) walking into the venue together, he sighed in relief. “Hey guys,” he said tentatively. “Everything good?”

(YN) nodded. “Yea, we got it all sorted out,” she said glancing up at Gerard, who was smiling back at her.

“Good because tonight should be the best show of the tour, and I could not put up with any more of your moping (YN),” Liam laughed.

“Thank you for your support in my time of need,” (YN) rolled her eyes.

“Gerard, there you are, you’re on for soundcheck,” the very tired look tour manager called from down the hall.

“I’ll see you later,” he said leaning in and gave (YN) a quick kiss before heading down the hall.

“So when you said sorted out,” Liam started.

“We’re together,” she blushed.

“My god, your 16 year old self must be dying right now,” Liam laughed.

“Stop,” (YN) shook her head before heading back to their dressing room.

When Garden of Woe took the stage for the last time, everyone played well, and the crowd was going crazy, but (YN) was struggling to act as if nothing was wrong. Her heart felt heavy until she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Gerard leaning against a crate, giving her a nod and a smile, reminding her that everything would be okay.

“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, wrapping her in a hug after the band took their last bow.

“Yep. Things change, but I think everything has ended up exactly where it needs to be,” she nodded before leaning in to kiss him again.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok a more specific prompt, coffee shop au with Malec and claia 😌

this is nowhere near specific and you damn well know it, anon. i appreciate u trying to find an excuse to throw coffee shop aus everywhere, tho. keep doing the lord's work even if i will inevitably twist the prompt

Magnus works at a small, local coffee shop as a barista. It's not exactly his #1 job choice, but it pays better than big chain coffee shops and he needs that to pay rent now that he officially left his abusive father's home for good. Also, he is kind of a coffee enthusiast and the owner, Ragnor, lets him go wild with making up new drinks and ingredients, as long as he still does his job.

All in all it's a good job and he considers the old fart and the other barista, maia, to be like family. Ragnor frequently gives them coffee and Maia constantly teases him about being a "coffee scientist" whenever she catches him thoughtfully drinking from a cup and scribbling notes on his notepad, like some ancient being

His recipes are good, though, and he knows exactly where to get the best coffee beans for the best price. So their drinks are good, affordable, and can please everyone from the traditional "black coffee no sugar" exec to the teenager who wants more of a milkshake than actual coffee

As a result, the shop thrives, gets more popular, and gets more clients. So Ragnor decides to hire a new barista to help. Because he's secretly a sweetheart, he ends up hiring this broke college kid who just moved into town to get away from his kinda toxic family and has nowhere to go - and also doesnt have a single ounce of experience as a barista

It's not surprising; both Magnus and Maia share similar stories, with some abusive exes to spice up the mix, not to mention racism, biphobia, and, in Magnus case, male behavior standarts keeping most opportunities closed for them. So they're cool with that. Even if it means Magnus will have to be the one to teach him, because 1- Ragnor is a dick and assigned him to be Alec's special "tutor" as retribution for Magnus calling him "an old, heart of butter bastard"; 2- he's the one who's best qualified to teach him since he knows a lot about coffee and coffee making anyway; 3- Maia has no patience

Quick detour just to say that i love the maia/magnus brotp opportunities this gives. While Magnus is more of a coffee scientist as she puts it, Maia has an almost instictive understanding of drink making. Where Magnus is soft, she's fierce, and they make one hell of a team and are good at balancing one another. They bond over their experiences with abuse; while Magnus' has made him afraid to put his foot down and say what he wants and prioritize himself, Maia's has made her particularly wary of people and even less willing to take anyone's bullshit, and both of these coping mechanisms have their own effects on their psyche, and they're able to talk openly to each other about it. Maia is kind of protective of Magnus and vice-versa, though the way they protect each other is very different. They have an easy companionship and bantering dynamic that's easygoing and cute, theyre both passionate about their interests (Maia loves marine biology and even if Magnus doesnt know much about it he loves listening to her talk about it) and just generally have that kind of relationship where just smiling at each other makes a tough day seem lighter. Also Magnus loves making Maia laugh. Maia blatantly refuses to laugh at any of his self-deprecating jokes, tho, which has considerably diminished the amount of times he makes them

Anyway Alec comes in for his first day and Magnus is like [REDACTED] because shit this man is cute. Maia notices immediately and from then on the teasing doesn't stop

He's quick to recover, tho, and suddenly he's all smooth again (Maia says he's perfected his customer service persona to horror movie levels), quick to introduce himself and Maia to Alec and explain that he'll be training Alec for the next few weeks or so. He gives him a tour of the shop, explains the basics, and immediately launches into his slightly extra More Serious Than Strictly Necessary course on the makings and workings of coffee, from bean selection to ideal temperature and the chemistry behind the cooking.

This absolute dork even had a small table with some coffee made from different kinds of beans so Alec could taste them and learn the difference and Engage with the profession or some shit

Maia just rolls her eyes, thankful that she had prior experience before getting this job and didnt have to go through this

The first thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't like coffee. This is not a setback. Many people dont like coffee, but that's because they're used to regular powdered coffee instead of making it from the bean. Because the beans in powdered coffee arent previously selected, they are roasted harder than they should, so any beans that might have gone bad wont spoil the taste or make you sick. As a result, the coffee is way too bitter and doesn't have a discernible taste. He explains all of this enthusiastically to a slightly overwhelmed Alec, and gets on to making him try the samples so he can feel the difference.

Here's the second thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't feel the difference

Despair. Horror. Offense.

Alec even kind of chuckles and goes "sorry" at the face he makes, and a not-pouting Magnus goes on with the planned explanation on bean selection

Third thing he learns about Alec: he's a quick study. Everything he lacks in sensibility to the amazing world of bean juice, he makes up for in his careful attentiveness to the instructions. He is also a strict recipe-follower and makes sure he always uses the exact amounts required. He's an absolute perfectionist. He listens to Magnus' explanations on how to know if the taste is right, to look for color and texture of the mix. Magnus tries his simple coffees and only needs a few corrections to send him on the right path

The first time Alec makes him something more complicated to try (per his request) Magnus wants to die

It's so good

Scratch that, it's perfect

This soulless motherfucker doesn't even like coffee and this is the single best version of whatever crazy frapuccino shit they're making magnus has ever tried

He kind of bursts from the kitchen (?) all like MAIA YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS just in time to interrupt her chatting with this redhead new customer with shiny eyes. Maia is leaning all the way across the counter. What is this

Maia agrees that it's very good but again he's not as passionate about coffee and Magnus just interrupted what would have been a really smooth number-giving move so she's not feeling all that generous

Alec just laughs at that. His eyes are shining with amusement and he's very, very pleased that Magnus likes his stuff

It's not a big secret, really; mixing drinks is kind of like patisserie in the sense that the measures need to be exact to achieve the best taste and texture. He follows the recipe to a fault, it turns out good. That's why he's better at the more complicated, instagram-y drinks than the simple coffee types

Alec "graduates" his training pretty soon after that and Ragnor is very pleased

He gets along well with both Magnus and Maia, even if he's more quiet and sometimes catches himself just laughing at the two of them interact; their friendship is something else. But he also gets to hear a "shut up" from Maia after not saying absolutely anything when the redhead walks in again the very next day

The redhead always comes in a little late in the morning, so its always slow. As a result, they get to pretend to be minding their own business as they hear the two of them chat and oof is the romantic tension between them something. Maia glares at them once the girl - Clary - leaves every time, but it doesn't stop them

Soon Maia is calling them "no-good gossiping grandmas" because of the way Magnus and Alec will go to the back and pretend to be making something while they keep a whispered running commentary on what the girls are talking about. This quickly turns into some sort of race to see who can make the other break and laugh out loud. Neither of them ever do (they are trying to be discreet and Maia would kill them) but oftentimes they need to cover their mouths with their hands and playfully slap each other for the teasing

Clary doesn't even realize she's the reason; she kind of just thinks they are constantly flirting on the back and briefly wonders how they havent been fired when all they do is whisper and make eyes at each other

Not that she has any room to talk when she's late to work everyday because she keeps cracking jokes with the cute curly haired barista with the most beautiful lopsided smile who always makes her laugh and tells her about her day while she drinks her coffee. She's lucky her work starts at 10 so she can go in a little later and doesnt have to be there during rush hours, but still

She doesnt even like coffee, she walked in one day cuz she was really tired and then just kept coming in the hopes that the barista would make a move on her (shes not gonna do it herself, at least not in her workplace. She doesn't want to make her uncomfortable and it's still unclear whether the girl is flirting or if shes just really nice)

At some point she and Maia even start sharing knowing looks to Alec and Magnus and laughing at them. They don't even notice, because their designated Making Fun Of Maia time turned into just cracking jokes at each other way too quickly. They don't even remember there are other people there

Maia does finally ask clary out eventually. She wasn't exactly nervous about doing it, it's more that she enjoyed their little routine. But enough is enough, and when their routine starts involving Clary giving her a quick kiss before placing her order, well, it just makes it better

Magnus and Alec coo every time

Eventually Maia snaps all like "why are you guys the one poking fun at me when im the one who made a move instead of being a coward"

Magnus is all like "Whatever could she possibly mean??"

It dawns on him when hes closing up the next day and Alec has already left. He has a crush on Alec. Oh god. Oh fuck

Maia helpfully says "idiot" and leaves

Some Magnus being very nervous and overthinking his relationship with Alec who's all like ???????? about this

Alec goes to his sister about his new crush who suddenly started acting weird and izzy is all like "stop trying to guess what he's thinking because you're terrible at this. Just tell them how you feel" and Alec is like okay

He asks Magnus out

Everyone is happy and gay idk the end

✨ feel free to use this and any other one of my posts as a prompt ✨

[skips-is-asleep]

Steph Talks For Way Too Long About Sollux’s Harry Potter House

I havent been able to stop thinking  or talking about this topic for like 60+ hours

first wanna say that it’s really hard to interpret how people are sorted because JK Rowling is apparently shitty at writing. So people seem to have wildly different opinions on why people are in the houses they’re in because they view the houses and their qualifications differently.

I’ve also never read a harry potter book and havent watched a movie for like 5+ years maybe so i had to talk to like 3-4 people who went though huge harry potter phases and we talked for over 3 hours cumulatively for me to make up my mind.

I think it’s really important to say that because Sollux isn’t really a main character, there’s a lot we have to make guesses on. Hussie didn’t make a big sheet full of Sollux’s Dreams and Ambitions, Morals and Beliefs, so we have to  fill in a lot of blanks on what we think those are based on a few things. Who he talks to, and associates himself with and what he does

The point being we don’t have a lot to work with.

It’s also pretty important to say that Sollux puts on a LOT of fronts and facades. He’s only truly mean and cruel to people he doesn’t like or care about Plus Karkat. He plays Fake Mean a lot, and if you dig even a centimeter under it, we see time and time again that he’s just pretending and does actually give many shits.

Sollux is also really passive in most things that he does. He doesn’t really question anyone’s authority or make a point to fight something out very often. The only time we ever see him resort to action to solve his problems are when dealing with Eridan. And even then, the first time we ever see them talk, it’s Eridan walking up to him and Feferi privately having a conversation and Sollux telling his gf to “make him go away.” And then after Eridan doesn’t go away, we see him resort to fighting. His PQ arc also has him antagonize Eridan and then drop a building on him, so like, yeah. Usually, when presented with conflict, Sollux either removes himself from the situation quickly, or if he’s unable to do so, makes it extremely clear that he doesn’t want to engage. In most cases, Sollux is by himself, sitting alone and not making attempts to talk to anyone else. It’s totally possible that he’s more social at other times and we only see him when he’s at his worst, but we dont see that so we can’t really speculate much on it. Point being, he’s very passive and self contained/oriented.

What i really want to put emphasis on is the people he associates with. His main friends we see him talk to willingly or at least show fondness for are Aradia, Feferi, Kanaya, Terezi, and Karkat. Three of these are considered main characters, or are at least given character arcs to some extent. These are the good guys. The guys who at least try to do good, and show compassion, and care about others. The characters we see him either avoid quietly, avoid loudly or vocally hate and commit violence against are the rest of the characters. Namely Vriska, Gamzee and Eridan. (im kinda gonna gloss over Vriska because his distaste/hatred/unpleasantness towards her  doesn’t have to be a moral statement on his part. It’s pretty easy to assume that anyone with his past to her would have a similar if not identical stand point) These are characters that actively do bad things, they murder and harm others at worst and are gross nasty incels at best. And even the best case in that scenario is still blabberingly racist and, treats sollux and the people he cares about like shit. Sollux doesn’t associate with people that the comic have established are villains, or at least do things that are pretty unambiguously wrong or evil.

In Sollux’s pesterquest, Kanaya tells MSPA reader than when The Thing with Aradia first happened, Sollux refused contact with Kanaya because she didn’t cut off Vriska. He was upset at her for being associated with someone who traumatized him. This is very telling of sollux’s personality and his relationship with his friends, and it’s a side we don’t see of Sollux any other time in the comic or in his PQ arc. It’s only when she tells him that she doesn’t cut Vriska off due to romantic feelings for her does Sollux change his mind. He doesn’t bring up Vriska, Aradia, his grief or his trauma at any point while at his visit with her that we see. He doesn’t appear mad or reluctant to be there, he makes jokes, smiles, and reminisces memories with her fondly, even almost sleeps over at her place for the day. It’s like he’s completely forgotten about being upset at her at all, or is at least choosing not to bring it up out of respect for her.

Again, it’s unclear how much time has passed. But when you start his arc, the reason youre talking to him is because he’s been reclusive out of grief. He hasn’t been talking to people lately and his friends are worried about him. So clearly enough time has passed for him to be okay with seeing Kanaya, as that’s his sole purpose for leaving his hive that day at all, but not enough time for him to be fully recovered.

This moment in his arc showcases his loyalty that he has for Kanaya, and possibly his other friends. He seemed quick to forgive her, or at least bury whatever resentment he may have been harboring. One may say that his cold shoulder to Kanaya would be indicative of a lack of a loyalty trait at all, that if he were loyal to her, he wouldn’t be ready to possible end his relationship with her over this. But i kind of view it as a sort of bluff? Like Kanaya essentially told him that his trauma did not at all change the way she feels about her, Kanaya still has a crush on Vriska after hearing about what she did to one of her good friends. To some, this may have been a slap to the face, an entire dismissal of his trauma in it’s entirety. But instead, he sees it as a valid reason for not cutting her off, he shrugs it off. I feel like if he were serious about not wanting to be friends with Kanaya while she was talking to someone who hurt him greatly, her crush wouldn’t have been an excuse.

I also wanna touch on his loyalty to Aradia very quickly because you dont need me to  tell you that he cares about her. Once again for like the third time, we have to make guesses on how much time has passed between events. From the time Aradia dies on Alternia, becomes a ghost with an entirely new personality, a robot with another personality, and then finally her alive Godtier self, Sollux’s feelings for her are very consistent. He seems to not really care for the ghost or robot versions of her, he even sits a chair away from her during Openbound on the meteor, and doesn’t talk to her much, is very cold towards her, and even tells her that she’s incapable of feeling when she tries to tell him goodbye when she explodes (it’s also worth noting he cries after this, which i think is the first and only time we see him do this). When Aradia comes back to the meteor, alive and herself again, Sollux immediately leaves the rest of his friends to go hang out with her. Even with Karkat begging him to stay, he just peaces out, without even really thinking about it. We have to assume that if it’s not written in the dialogue, it isn’t being said. So he doesn’t discuss wanting to leave with Aradia or with anyone else. He just decides he’s leaving, and then does. And he stays by her side for almost the rest of the time we see him. He ditches later for other reasons, but don’t worry, they’re back together by the time Collide is happening.

Point being, for the most part, he sticks by his friends unless they’re doing something he disagrees with morally. If he’s not down for what’s happening, he’s not down for sticking around. He even seems to be better friends with Nepeta now that this version of her isn’t really hanging out with Equius that much, someone Sollux would no doubt not get along with for many reasons.

Some of my friends pointed out that him sticking by his morals so strongly is something a Slytherin would do, coupled with the fact that he’s kind of a dick or something idk that much about Slytherins. But I think Huffliepuff is very much about comradery. We can tell a lot about Sollux based on who he surrounds himself with and what he does and doesn’t participate in. He doesn’t participate in trolling humans, he doesn’t participate in helping Vriska do something he doesn’t feel good about doing, he doesn’t participate in any of the relationship melodrama happening around him. But he helps his friends. He helps Kanaya open the viewfinder to see and talk to Rose, he helps Kanaya do little errands in his PQ route, he helps Terezi find out who Dave is, and he sacrifices himself to save the remainder of his group (which btw only contains the people I’ve previously stated he associates with minus feferi not that that means anything i just thought it was kind of fun to point out). I mean, he got better but its the thought that counts.

Someone could make a point that “If Sollux is so loyal, why didn’t he mourn Feferi even a little bit when he found out she was dead?” And yeah, that’s a good point to bring up, and i don’t really have anything to say about it other than….maybe he knew by this point that death doesn’t really mean anything? Maybe his euphoria of finally being lifting of the voices was happening at the same time? And also that he predicted he’d go blind like a million pages ago and now he can finally stop worrying about it? Is he happy that he’s talking to Terezi and right now that’s more important? It’s hard to tell. Sollux doesn’t really explain himself apart from “missing being her matesprite” when in Erisolsprite form talking  to Fefetasprite form. It’s hard to tell what their relationship was at the time, or what his feelings truly were immediately afterward. I kinda think it was the foremost of those explanations, he probably knew that she’d come back as a ghost, or something?

Anyway, those are all the reasons i can think of at the moment for why I think Sollux would be Hufflepuff. A lot of his personality revolves around his friends, who he considers friends and who he doesn’t consider friends. Send me asks, message me, and do that shit if you wanna talk more, but i probably won’t have a whole lot to say lmao. Or ill just restate a lot of what i said here.

Props for getting this far. For the record, if Sollux for some reason was unable to be in Hufflepuff, I’d probably put him 50/50 Ravenclaw or Slytherin. I really don’t think he’s a Gryfindor because as I understand it, that house is very much about being courageous, and standing up for yourself and i went off for way to long about how he’s a little weenie man who does nothing mostly.

[greensungnostic]

Checking in with Grandpa

It's been a while since you visited the old man. You figure you've left him hanging long enough. He'd probably love to hear from you, what's been going on in his granddaughter's life. You head quietly through the halls of the lower floors, still and calm and differently decorated than the upper floors where you live. You stop in front of an old oak door with a brass knob and a plaque on its face, and slowly turn the handle. You peek your head in slowly, looking into Grandpa's study. It's always dim in here, the fug of cologne and gunpowder and cognac baked into the room's very soul. He stands there in the dim, facing the ornate marble fireplace, which -

FWOOMPH!

- ignites dramatically into a warmly crackling blaze as you settle your gaze on it. There he goes - The old man, "Hass" "The Flame" Harley, always with such a flare for the bombastic. Your Grandpa stands Stout and Resolute in front of the mantle, seeming to gaze long and hard into the flames. You take his dramatics as consent to enter, and you stand a few paces behind him, nervously tenting your hands. He's always been so tall, so imposing, and you've barely gained an inch since your session began. You're basically still the same dorky kid as ever, eternally youthful. You hesitate, waiting a reasonably long moment, then finally speak.

hi grandpa! sorry to bother you, i know you probably have a lot of work to do! but i wanted to come visit you in here and say hi! ...sorry i havent come down in a couple of weeks or uhm... months. i got all caught up in my work and in my head and kinda stayed cooped up in my lab up there below the greenhouse. huh? yes! before you ask, ive got three computers with me including the ones in my head and my glasses, and i do think the caliber of my current rifle is plenty sufficient! no i dont need to borrow the blunderbuss but thank you anyway! i will let you know when i need it okay? its overkill for anything but bosses!

You sigh heavily. He's always such a worrywart, hassling you over your preparedness and the bore of your firearms! You huff your trademark Harley Huff, then sigh and deflate a little. You know his hounding you is just how he shows that he cares, in his weird way.

i just wanted to let you know about some of the stuff thats been going on, though im sure youve seen hints of it here and there, mister wise and cunning hunter! first off, take a look at these babies!

You round the quiet old man to stand just past the fireplace on the far side, showing off the fluffy white fur and canine shape of your legs from the thighs down. You lift up one footpaw, showing him the glowing green footpads beneath, and wiggle your toes. The luminous glint of green reflects in your Grandpa's eyes, along with - is that interest, or pride, or just confusion? He's always been so hard to read. You'll opt for confused pride, shy of any context otherwise. You plop yourself into the dusty armchair beside the fire so you can wave your paws idly through the air for his approval, and continue your conversation face to face.

i know, i know, you never quite got all this furry stuff, but think of it this way! i am a little bit better of a huntress now, i can run around all quiet-like like bec! plus it gives my tail a reason to - huh? boots? yeah i guess i could use a custom fit pair, for like lohac or lofaf when its extra cold... if you insist we can find a cobbler, sure! cool digitigrade boots do look cool on cartoon furries... hee... uhmm lets see, what else is on the agenda?

You stroke your chin thoughtfully, then smile sheepishly at him.

so... do you remember rose? yeah, yeah the one ive always talked about! uh-huh, the one from movie nights. the squiddle one! my best friend. the one i... always had a crush on, yeah. well, as you know weve been looking around for everyone from our timeline and...

Your smile brightens, your eyes sparkle. Grandpa waits patiently, letting you talk, green eyes flickering in the firelight.

we found her, grandpa! like the right her! skaia lit up when we came back with her, and cetus showed herself for the first time in ages. its really her, grandpa!! its so good to...so good to have her back in my life. i... you know how much i missed rose. and the best news of all? she... she likes me back. she likes me back!! we are... we are dating now! shes... my girlfriend, a-after all this time. hee, i know, i know, lots of girlfriends. but this is important to me! rose was my first crush!! or uh, second, if you dont count margaret hamilton, haha... gosh i love her. i love rose! aaaah!

Grandpa seems chuffed for you, a twinkle of mirth in those eyes, past his thick glasses. The one good thing about having read all about him on the internet - you never felt uncomfortable coming out to a man you knew was openly bi decades before it was widely accepted. You practically glow in excitement, just thinking about Rose.

oh, we also found aradia! or she found us, anyways. she is one of the trolls! this one is kinda froglike, which is cool! i did not expect her to ever show up, i thought she had run off to play psychopomp! but here she is just hanging around and i guess she can help our search! she has cool psionic powers, and is the maid of time! she kinda showed up all spooky and glowing in the dark the other night! shes slimy like a frog sometimes, but shes cool, honest. youd like her, she loves adventure. maybe ill bring her by sometime?

Grandpa is quiet here, no real feedback, but seems pleased for you. You've never really talked to him about her much, so it tracks. You're sure he'll be interested in finding out more later, though. He always lends a patient ear when you talk about your friends, and he really would like Aradia. Two peas with ghastly interests in a slightly ghoulish pod.

sooo harleytech is doing pretty well! my jadebots run most of the daily stuff for me and i do all the designing, and the special interactions! in a while im gonna do a bunch of installations for some trollian freedom fighters, rebels! thats so cool right?

He seems impressed by this one - a streak of rebellion has always been pivotal to his character as the world's most eccentric philanthropist and Renaissance Man after all, especially if it's against who you think it might be against.

lets see, what else... the garden ship has been doing really well, i just fixed up the alternian section a little! if aradia wants a slice of home, she can put it there! heheh... im still trying to think of a name for that huge maple though... the yiffdrasil is kind of dumb, and its not THAT big. do i name it after another scientist like us, grandpa? what do you think?

The old man doesn't answer, as if lost in pensive thought. It's tough to puzzle out a name for something like an ancient, time-wizened old tree, after all, especially one accelerated through time to its current state. Eventually a name occurs to you, and you clap your hands together.

hmm, maybe instead of a scientist, van winkle or something? yeah, good call! ooh, rip van maple? heheh... yeah, ill try that out for a bit! good idea, grandpa...

You sigh, tone softening, and you rise up to stand next to Grandpa. He's so tall, towering over you in presence and height alike, but you find yourself staring at his feet, the polished maple wood beneath.

youre so smart, grandpa. you always know just what to say.

You're quiet for a moment, just letting him loom over you. With a lump in your throat, you begin again.

hey grandpa? thank you for always... always being so supportive, even if we butt heads sometimes over stuff like hunting or mummies or dumb stuff like that. i know you only scold me and keep an eye on me because you wanna see me grow up to be the best me i can be! right...? always making sure i had the best of everything I needed to... to be who i wanted and needed to be. im so glad youre my grandpa, thank you for... for always being around for me.

i hope im... i hope... a-am i doing okay? am... do i make you proud, grandpa?

With a quaking lip, you look upwards at the old man, towards his serviceable pith helmet and dense, curly moustache. He doesn't say anything, his silence distinguished. Tranquil. You imagine a heavy, distantly familiar palm resting on your head, comforting and warm, but it doesn't come. Your own small hand resting between your ears while teardrops plink off the floor will have to suffice. You rest your head against your grandfather's side for comfort, sniffling softly until the tears subside.

its okay grandpa, you dont have to say anything about it. s-sorry, i just got carried away, th-thinking about what a good grandpa you are... youre right, stiff upper lip, h-haha...

You wipe your tears on your face and offer him a brave smile, seeing a twinkle of pride once more in his aged eyes. You smooth out his tear ruffled coat for him, and reach up to adjust his pith helmet. It's only polite. You hug him gently, then step towards the door. You attempt to pepper a layer of cheer into your voice.

ill let you get back to work, grandpa. thank you for talking with me today, it... it meant a lot that you took time out of your day to do that! ill come see you more often okay? i know sunday is fathers day, a-and grandpas definitely count for that! we can... we can do something special!! maybe ill show you my shooting skills!

dont work too hard and have a good night! a-and ill see you sunday if not earlier, okay!! i love you grandpa!!! byyyye!

You step hurriedly out of the Study and click the door closed behind you, standing in front of it and trying to steady your breathing. Failing that, you find yourself sliding down the front of the door to curl up and hug your legs in front of it, shoulders bobbing as you bury your face in your knees, already deeply missing the old gentleman you just finished visiting.

Grandpa was a lot easier to talk to when he was alive.

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 21: The Rappest Conversation

Also on ao3

It was your self-imposed day off, so you started the day by sleeping until afternoon. After making yourself breakfast and eating it, you played Slime Rancher for about two hours because it was a nice relaxing game that Roxy bought you for Gristmas last year.

Everything was peaceful. Nothing could possibly ruin this.

Oh look. John was pestering you. You hadn't talked to him in while, even though he was your best bro. You guessed both of you have been pretty busy lately.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

EB: hey, dave! EB: we haven’t spoken in ages!

TG: yeah man its been entirely too long TG: ive turned to dust while you were gone TG: ive become one with the desert and sand TG: im the sand on the beach that gets stuck inside an oyster TG: and the oyster is like what the hell are you doing here you dumbass motherfucking sand TG: im here to ruin your life oyster TG: thats basically my job TG: why are you doing this you tiny bit of sand TG: i already answered that question TG: okay fine be that way says the oyster TG: ill just turn you into a pearl so that youre no longer stabbing me everywhere TG: and then i was transformed into a dope ass pearl TG: the prettiest goddamn pearl in all the land TG: im turned into one of a pair of earrings that are sold for more that your life is worth TG: im bought by a rich woman looking for jewelry to show off TG: its passed down through the generations until the wealth they had dwindles and runs out TG: so now the earrings are sold for a dollar just to get the money for food that night TG: its a tragic tale TG: anyway TG: how are you doing

EB: dave, did you copy and paste an entire act of a play into this chat?

TG: what no TG: it is all natural and organic typing from scratch going on here TG: absolutely no foul play involved and to even imply such is an insult to my craft

EB: alright, fine! EB: i will not insult your “masterpiece” anymore. EB: if you can even call it that.

TG: oh wow sick burn TG: but like seriously speaking how is your stuff going TG: like the comedy stuff TG: have you yet to release an hour long special containing your hilarious jokes TG: and like half of the time is taken up by people laughing at them so its not even a true hour long special its more like a half hour long special and you didnt even manage to make it through all the material you had prepared TG: you know like you did in school where you accidentally prepared too much for a presentation and then get cut off because your time is up TG: and you still have like an hour and half left of material that youve collected that ended up just being a pile of wasted effort

EB: maybe not to that extreme. EB: :P EB: i haven't gotten my show up on netflix yet, but i am certainly planning on it! EB: watch out for it!

TG: do you still have that one person booing you at a bunch of your shows

EB: yeah, it is getting pretty annoying at this point, but i don't really want to do something like call security to remove someone for booing at my show. EB: that just seems as little bit over kill.

TG: i thought you were going to do a comedy sketch about them

EB: oh yeah! EB: i forgot about that.

TG: who are you jade harley

EB: what! EB: jade is great at remembering things!

TG: shes really not she just has a really fucking good system for making certain she remembers things TG: she has to build a physical barrier to her door so that she doesnt forget her keys TG: and she has so many keys to her house they are literally everywhere

EB: huh. EB: i guess i havent really visited jade in a while, have i?

TG: i would highly recommend going to her place at some point TG: and just hanging out with her in general TG: although youd probably have to plan a whole trip for it TG: just like TG: drop by or whatever next time youre where shes currently living

EB: messaging her might be a little bit more practical.

TG: yeah probably TG: anyway you really should get on writing that sketch about the lady I booing you

EB: yeah probably.

TG: yeah man how else are you going to get back at her TG: also when you finally do perform it please tell me what happened TG: or send me a recording of it TG: jk ill buy the recording TG: i always buy the recordings of your shows TG: but youll have to tell me which recording its in so that i can prepare myself

EB: maybe i won’t tell you which recording it’s in just so you're surprised by it. EB: like a schrodinger’s recording.

TG: does that mean you might be dead in one of them

EB: i hate to tell you this now dave, but i’m actually a ghost.

TG: shit ive been friends with a ghost this whole time thats actually pretty fucking dope TG: how do you do comedy sketches as a ghost TG: with the whole intangible thing TG: also with the people not being able to see you thing TG: wait TG: i wouldnt be able to message you if you were completely intangible TG: you must be a poltergeist or something TG: is there anything i can do to help you pass on

EB: yeah, you have to burn my body. EB: that’s what they do in all of the supernatural movies and shows where there’s a ghost.

TG: alright i am fully prepared to do that TG: i however have absolutely no idea where your grave is

EB: i know where your grave is.

TG: well thats not ominous at all TG: i dont even have a grave

EB: as far as you know.

TG: are you telling me that im dead TG: am i also a ghost

EB: i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner! EB: but yes we’re both ghosts. EB: i was supposed to wait for you to figure it out yourself, but it’s taking so long, so i guess i got a little impatient. EB: :B

TG: yeah but i still dont remember anything about dying or anything like that

EB: maybe you'll remember someday. EB: i’ve got to go right about now though. EB: i compromised my mission, and now i have to go through remedial training.

TG: ill wish you luck

EB: who needs luck when you have skill?

TG: okay then no good luck from me TG: i take it back TG: youve got this handled due to the sheer amount of awesomeness you have

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: oh no they got you TG: i know i said i didnt wish you good luck but i actually did TG: you cant give back a good luck TG: you can never give back a good luck TG: the blessing is yours now forever and ever TG: or however long you live i guess TG: thats going to take a butt load of time TG: anyway TG: i should probably get going too TG: instead of just having a conversation by myself after you left TG: and like go and have a conversation with someone else TG: maybe with jade TG: i havent talked to jade in a while TG: wonder how her pumpkins are doing TG: i wonder if shes harvested them yet TG: or if its even time for that TG: i swear i do actually listen when she talks about gardening TG: but i dont remember what half the harvest times for a bunch of the vegetables she grows TG: dont tell her that TG: or do TG: she probably already knows TG: shes always had a tendency to know things that other people would have absolutely no clue of knowing about TG: anyway TG: ill pester you again at some point eventually TG: ill go pester jade instead now TG: see ya

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: yo jade how are your pumpkins doing TG: is it about time to harvest them or anything TG: or has that already happened TG: when do people harvest pumpkins again

GG: ive harvested them!

TG: awesome were they tasty

GG: of course they were!!! GG: i made pumpkin pie and roasted pumpkin seeds GG: and then i sold all the leftover pumpkins

TG: yeah what kind of profit did that turn

GG: quite a bit, actually! GG: especially with the fact that pumpkins are basically weeds GG: because they grow back no matter what you do GG: no GG: matter GG: what GG: but people fucking love pumpkins during the fall seasons

TG: yeah everyone goes batshit for that kind of stuff TG: got that pumpkin spice everywhere TG: and colorful trees and sweater weather TG: unless you live in the south TG: then there are just two seasons TG: summer and cooler summer

GG: those were basically the seasons on the island i grew up on too GG: im so glad i get to see snow where i live now!!! GG: i always wanted to play in it growing up!!!

TG: tbh we should coordinate and try to play in the snow together at some point

GG: yes!!! GG: but, no GG: :( GG: itd be way too difficult to coordinate that kind of thing

TG: yeah probably TG: but maybe one day if we happened to be in the same area and it happened to snow TG: we could get together and play in the snow and build snowpeople and snow angles

GG: dont you mean snow angels?

TG: i meant what i said TG: were gonna be drawing angles in the snow TG: forty five degrees sixty degrees one hundred and eighty degrees TG: well have all the angles right there written in the snow because no one can tell us what to do

GG: i still think id rather make snow angels though

TG: fair enough TG: you stick with your boring old snow angels TG: and ill have a fantastic time making all my fucking snow angles

GG: :/ GG: you do that, i guess GG: i still think making snow angels will be more fun!

TG: suit yourself TG: anyway im being messaged by someone else so ive gotta bounce

GG: alrighty, see ya!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GC: D4V3

TG: terezi

GC: H4V3 YOU S33N TH1S?? GC: F1L3.COM

TG: well it would seem that im being framed for murder and no one told me

GC: NO GC: 1N C4S3 TH4T H4PP3N3D 1 WOULD S3RV3 4S YOUR PROS3CUT3R

TG: wouldnt you be unable to participate in the trial because you have a bias because were friends

GC: Y3S BUT TH4T 1S B3S1D3 TH3 PO1NT GC: W41T GC: 1S 1T B3S1D3 THE PO1NT OR B3S1D3S TH3 PO1NT??

TG: no idea TG: does it matter

GC: 1 GU3SS NOT GC: JUST LOOK 4T TH3 GODD4MN M3M3

TG: nice

GC: H3H3H3H3H3H3

-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

TG: so what stuck itself up your ass

CG: DID TEREZI SEND YOU THAT MEME?

TG: what meme i have no idea what meme your talking about

TG: i dont even know what a meme is TG: you could hear me say that but i pronounced meme as me me TG: because thats how little i know about memes TG: ive never even seen one in my life TG: you dont have any proof that tz showed me the meme that you are talking about like less than five minutes ago about the ten page rant that you sent to complain about my channel

CG: THAT’S REALLY SPECIFIC, AND IT MAKES ME SUSPICIOUS AND PRIVY TO THE IDEA THAT YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHAT A MEME IS.

TG: please spare me i have a family

CG: I WASN’T AWARE THAT YOU HAD KIDS.

TG: youre right i dont have kids TG: not in reality TG: imaginary kids TG: all running around and being great and fantastic and not fucked up at all TG: thats the fucking dream

CG: DAVE, WE’RE NOT HERE TO DISCUSS YOUR INSECURITIES DEALING WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF HAVING KIDS OR WORKING WITH KIDS. CG: WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE MEME TEREZI SENT YOU.

TG: why do you even care so much about a meme TG: its a meme and its harmless fun TG: even if it does include a picture of you topless

CG: EXACTLY. CG: I’M GOING TO NEED YOU TO DELETE ANY EVIDENCE OF THAT PICTURE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO KEEP IT.

TG: why would i want to keep it TG: maybe i already deleted it TG: maybe i didnt even save it TG: also why do you want me to delete so bad TG: its not much in the way of blackmail TG: who could possibly use it against you

CG: PEOPLE.

TG: thats specific

CG: I’M NOT REALLY IN THE MOOD FOR GOING INTO TOO MUCH DETAIL ABOUT THIS, SO COULD YOU PLEASE JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT AND DELETE THAT PHOTO?

TG: k

CG: REALLY? CG: JUST LIKE THAT?

TG: sure if it really matters to you that much ill make sure to get rid of it TG: you can tell me why at another time TG: i get if its too personal to talk about or whatever TG: sometimes that kind of thing happens TG: there we go TG: deleted photo

CG: THANKS

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AC: :33< *ac prowls up to the unsuspecting crow* AC: :33< *she asks meow the crow is doing!*

TG: *the crow says hes doing well and asks the same of the cat*

AC: :33< im fine! AC: :33< im meowstly just double checking the date and time we agr33d on for tea

TG: yeah im still on that day TG: just cant believe it in like a month and a half TG: seems like an almost unnecessary time to plan in advance

AC: :33< but it is a really meowfurlous tea place! AC: :33< its just a little exclawsive, so youve got to make reservations a bit in advance

TG: yeah i get that but the main question here is the dress code TG: can i show up in my jeans and hoodie or do ive got to pull out the singular suit i have TG: its bright red so i cant exactly wear it to black tie events

AC: :33< it s33ms more like mew should wear brunch attire

TG: khakis and a polo shirt got it

AC: ://< i guess thats brunch attire AC: :33< i would wear something a little nicer though

TG: so more like colorful khakis with a button down shirt that can hold cufflinks

AC: :33< yeah thats s33ms more appropriate AC: :33< mew could always ask kanya~a for advice on what to wear

TG: yeah im probably going to do that TG: also that cat pun in her name that you did was the best think ive heard all day ten out of ten would use again

AC: :33< thank mew! AC: :33< i like to give all meow furends cat pun names! AC: :33< its kind of hard to come up with them for some people though

TG: yeah im not sure how you can make a cat pun from dave TG: its pretty much impossible but if you do manage to do it i will be supremely impressed

AC: :33< meowbe a rhyming thing? AC: :33< like cavedave or something? AC: :33< but that makes you sound like some sort of caveman AC: :((< and thats not really cute

TG: maybe adding a hobby of mine of some sort to my name TG: like rapping TG: like rapnap dave or something TG: cause it sounds kind of like catnap

AC: :33< that certainly is a lot cuter! AC: :33< ill consider it! AC: :33< but ive got to go meow so we can talk later

TG: cool

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Since you were clearly talking to all your friends today, you might as well see if Aradia’s online as well. You’re pretty sure she was, and since you probably won’t get to contact her for a while, you might as well message her now.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

TG: have you finally figured out how im going to die TG: or divined that kind of shit yet TG: saw it in the clouds or something TG: my hot as hell dead body floating in the water staining the fluid and polluting the river and making it muddy with red TG: taking a stabbing and falling and dying before i could ask if it was something i said TG: choking to death, clubbing to death TG: hit through the chest with some white magic TG: bleeding and crying as they take their last breath TG: its all just so horrible and tragic TG: having every single one of these dreams TG: but i think i know that theyre memories TG: had these nightmares since i was a kid TG: always wondered if it was something i did TG: cause they made me scared of clowns swords and puppets TG: made me too scared to watch even the muppets TG: but they’re not just mine cause it’s not always my body TG: lying on the ground looking super fucking shoddy TG: and all i can feel is the oppression and fear TG: of letting go of all we hold dear TG: stabbed with a sword we did abhor TG: all the death and the violence and blood TG: overwhelmed us like a flood TG: but try as we might we had no chance TG: we were always meant to lose this dance TG: alright im done that was a dope ass fucking rap thanks folks for listening to how awesome that was

AA: you will die on the twentieth day of april in the year of 2069 from drug overdose

TG: nice

AA: also your rap was both cool and concerning

TG: yeah im not sure if i actually thought at all about what i just said in that rap TG: so basically i forgot everything that i just wrote

AA: thats the beauty of a messaging platform AA: you can just scroll up and reread what you wrote

TG: im sorry im suddenly unable to read

AA: wow AA: youre really going to do this

TG: yes and i have no regrets TG: hi im jared im nineteen and i never fucking learned how to read

AA: your name is dave

TG: shit TG: caught in the lie TG: what time will i have to spend in jail officer

AA: well since im not a cop AA: none! AA: but im still curious about whatever the hell was going on with that rap

TG: maybe you should respond with the stuff thats bothering you in rap form TG: do a little rap battle TG: but like TG: with feelings and shit TG: you can talk about whats bothering you and then i can elaborate on the fuckery in my rap

AA: alright i dont see why not AA: it will probably help us both AA: my heart and my brains been pulled taught AA: stuck between work and the one that i love AA: cant help my job fits me like a glove AA: but i cant stop thinking about my matesprit AA: how hes gonna face it AA: cause he says he supports me AA: and he says that he agrees AA: with putting my job first and foremost AA: while he sits in one place and holds post AA: i didnt mind too much before AA: we had all i could adore AA: but since he proposed were going to be married AA: i just dont know if that life should be carried

TG: well that sounds like something you should talk about TG: because not doing so might leave you in a drought TG: in your relationship where miscommunications TG: might lead to decimation TG: or more likely just breaking up TG: but you dont want that to burn up TG: so just have a talk with him about your concern TG: and then your love will continue to burn

AA: did you just rhyme up with up

TG: dont judge me im trying to help

AA: your advice was good but i can still judge you for your lack of slam poetry skills

TG: hey ill have you know im the best in the business

AA: must be a very small business

TG: wow TG: i cant believe my own moirail would do this to me

AA: you know i had to do it to em

TG: i hate you and everything that you stand for

AA: likewise AA: aside from that AA: do you want to talk about those dreams you mentioned at the start of this conversation

TG: i will only answer that if you ask me in a rap

AA: what the fuck was up with those dreams AA: you seem to be tearing at the seems AA: with all the death and the dying AA: and it might seems like im lying AA: but ive had those too AA: hit in the face and bid me adieu AA: except im a ghost and dead AA: dont know how but i bled AA: then im a frog for some reason AA: it has something to do with treason AA: then a robot that i hated AA: someones kinks that were stated AA: then i blow up again and again AA: wake up in pajamas the color of cayenne AA: and thats when i know that im alive AA: and i know for a fact that i will thrive

TG: always thought that i was alone in this TG: but i guess im not so now ill remiss TG: on all these nightmares ive had TG: that were all really bad TG: i always thought it was because of my childhood TG: never thought that i would be old enough to get to my knighthood TG: thought i was going to die alone TG: thought they wouldnt even find a bone TG: thought no would care if i was gone TG: always felt like i didnt belong TG: i thought the dreams were a message, an order TG: to finally get rid of the disorder TG: that was me theyd promised id be free TG: but i still desperately wanted to be TG: alive and awake and active and happy TG: excuse me if this starts to get a bit sappy TG: but i wanted love TG: i wanted to be above TG: my bro who so obviously hated me TG: and everyone i know would agree TG: so no matter how much i wanted to die TG: there was always something just keeping me alive TG: a wish or a kiss or a day that gets better TG: a time when i get to open a letter TG: theres something to live for something to survive for TG: going and traveling and taking a tour TG: listening to music when i feel depressed TG: going outside when i feel repressed TG: reminding myself its gonna be alright TG: in order to tell myself not to go towards the light

AA: feeling alive is good

TG: yeah TG: it is TG: thanks for listening

AA: thank you for listening! AA: thats what being moirails is all about AA: listening to each other and doing our best to comfort each other AA: although i guess thats what friendship is about too AA: moirail is more of a formal title

TG: i get that TG: someones messaging me now though so i guess this is where we can end our convo

AA: dont be a stranger!

TG: not planning to be one TG: <>

`AA: <>

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering apocalypseArisen [AA] --

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello.

TG: yes just come up and start a chat using the most generic fucking greeting in the entire goddamn world TG: thats exactly how you start a conversation with someone youve known for years TG: start conversations by calling your friends a bitch like the rest of us

TT: I’m pretty sure I would like to have a little more class than that.

TG: ill bring you down to my level one day

TT: I will do my best to resist going down that low.

TG: listen TG: im pretty sure you dont have to go that far

TT: Wow. TT: Rude.

TG: thats a more appropriate way to talk to your brother

TT: I’ll be certain to use more crass language when greeting you next time I make the decision to start a conversation with you.

TG: anyway what did you want to talk to me about

TT: I would like to invite you to my party celebrating the release of my new book. TT: It takes place in a month at my house.

TG: you mean your big ass mansion

TT: Yes, I suppose that is an apt description of the location where I reside. TT: I suggest you dress formally for the occasion. TT: You can wear the suit that you had recently tailored for you.

TG: oh yeah the one kanaya made that feels like the softest goddamn plush toy in the childrens aisle

TT: Yes, please wear that one.

TG: alrighty sounds good to me

TT: Not going to argue about wearing jeans and a T-shirt instead?

TG: nah TG: not this time at least TG: im kind of excited to wear the one kanaya made anyway TG: especially since its the first suit that i actually kind of like

TT: Well, I look forward to seeing you at my party in a suit. TT: For now, I must go and give a few others personal invitations.

TG: k you do that

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You proceeded to play videos games for the rest of the day because it was, in fact, your day off. You had to spend some of it by yourself after all.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

[drews-diary]

21.08.19

today’s diary entry is gonna be weird. also hi, its been a while. a few days ago, i learned that the fourteen year old i tutor has a boyfriend. and while that is a perfectly reasonable age to have a boyfriend i just cant get over the fact that someone born in 2007 is already capable of typing let alone dating. I remember when my friends little brother who was also born in 2007 was crawling around and cried cuz he hit his head on the table. but to be fair that didnt really bother me too much as i always felt as though i was stagnant and things around me were the ones always changing. 

But then today i was listening to taylor swift’s old albums cuz i was feeling nostalgic and i listened to fifteen from the fearless album that came out back in 2009 and i realized that she released that song when she was around twenty which means she probably wrote in when she was in her teens writing about how she knows so much more than she did back when was starting high school that she wish she could tell her younger self. and i remembered listening to that album as a child and expecting myself to feel the same by the time i became an adult. yet here i am at 21 no thoughts head empty. and i realized that even if i met 15 year old me there is next to nothing i would want to tell her because i still feel like i am more or less still the same ignorant uninformed person. the only thing i would tell her is to stop fucking around and focus on school. 

i feel like i dont have as much experience as the other people around me. I never used to care that i’ve never been romantically involved with someone, but i always thought it would happen eventually when i got to college but a three semesters have passed and i have yet to take a single class on campus. 

to be completely honest the only reason i am even fever writing this right now is because i had a ice cream blending cold brew from starbucks this evening because i had to get up excruciatingly early for class registration (which i completely failed at) and had three tutoring classes today meaning i didnt have time for my daily afternoon nap so the coffee was the only thing making sure i didnt fall asleep during my last class. I purposely dont drink coffee regularly so that i can use it like a magic potion when i need it and the caffeine hits me like a bus. it has been six hours and i am still wide-eyed i should not have gotten a grande. today was also my first time trying coldbrew so there’s that. i was kinda grateful for the effects because it made sure i was awake for today’s episode of hospital playlist but now i kinda wanna sleep since i didnt get much last night and i would like to make sure i dont miss my class tomorrow morning, i have to get up at at least ten, but here i am typing this.and i think i am just going to keep going.

my family moved recently, and for the time being my entire room is surrounded by bookshelves because my brother’s bed is too big and we cant fix any bookshelves into his room and i am only using a mattress topper thing for the next few months. this is because i finally convinced my mom to let me throw out that horrid bed with the curved head and foot board with the flower decorations that always dug into the back of my head, neck, and back when i was trying to read. so that is the situation in my room until the end of the year when hopefully my brother’s whole situation will be over and we can finally go furniture shopping and switch rooms. (we are also currently living in each other’s room because his permanent room aka my current room cannot fit his fucking gigantic boat bed. actually i really love that bed i wish he was still young enough to use it its so cute.

i find our new neighborhood unsettling. like its probably because i got so attached to our old house that we lived in for nine years but i dont know. the place we moved to is a location that i used to spend some time in when we first moved to korea but i literally havent been here in nine years as mentioned earlier, and i am slowly piecing my memories of the geography as well as blending it with the incredibly limited knowledge i have of the nearby surroundings that i built riding the bus and when i was learning to drive because the school that i went to is kind of near our new place. anyways to get back to the subject this new neighborhood is full of too many happy families with these little kids that run around with their sticky little fingers flailing around. like hello we are still in the middle of a global pandemic i swear to god parents of little kids will go loose their minds when their children get sick yet they let them just run around spreading their disgusting little disease to the rest of us. ugh i hate kids. but thats besides the point the reason i think the new neighborhood feels dystopian is because all of the families, children and the elders too (why are there so many elders like i dont hate them or anything most of them are fine but like where are they all coming from?) look so happy. where are the depressed high schoolers and burnt out college students? my brother and i dont seem to have any friends in this bitch. anyways so the sheer amount of happiness that seems to radiate around me reminds me of books and movies like the giver you know or like the uglies series where you start off in this utopian-esque world until you find out that it is actually fake. its unsettling. 

okay now i am kind of tired good night. wait also the public transportation at our new place fucking sucks i know it’s pretty good by regular standards but i am used to subway stations, convenience stores, cafes and bus stops all being 30 seconds away from the entrance of my building. okay the bus stop took more like two minutes but whatever. and buses used to come every five minutes but now i have to walk at least ten minutes to the nearest subway station and the bus stops only have three buses and even those take so fucking long to arrive and they dont even arrive when they say they will they are always late which is why i end up fucking walking twenty minutes to the subway station because that way at least i can guarantee that i am not going to be completely late. unreliable ass buses.

fuck there’s a lot i dont like about my new neighborhood. oh wait we are also far from malls now i have to walk like half an hour to get to the nearest mall when at our old house i only had to walk ten minutes and the mall close to our new house is worse than the old one. this one’s movie theatre isnt even famous. but dont get me wrong i guess there are things i like about our new place like how you can call the elevator from inside the house or how there’s a gym and the fact that i now have ac in my room. i am just being a brat because i really loved our old house. it was perfect. even if i felt as though i was being burned alive during the summers sometimes. i also like my new blinds that let in light in the shape of constellations. 

i dont currently have a desk in my room so i dont know what im going to do when school starts again in a few weeks i guess i’ll have to take my lecture on the floor or maybe on the kitchen table idk.

[gallantlio]

Im back at it again with the plotless promptis fics.

Bear with me, I havent had a lot of good ideas, but I think after this I might try a multi-chapter fic. (Probably wont stop me from writing this bs, because sometimes you just wanna write a oneshot, yknow?)

Sorry if it kinda sucks, I just wanted to write something to try to bring my motivation back.

Title: Sleepy Eyes Filled With Flashing Colors Rating: G Warnings: N/A Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14174535 Summary: Noctis and Prompto watch a horror movie together, and they act kinda gay in the process.

“C’mon Prom, this one’s not even that scary.”

“Says you. Horror movies don’t scare you at all.”

“But this one’s actually good. I think you’ll like it for the plot.”

“I’d rather watch it when I’m not going to sleep right after, and also preferably not when it’s already really dark out.”

“You’re no fun.”

Noctis proceeds to play the movie anyway. He knows Prompto has been interested in seeing the movie, but he also knows that he’ll never watch it unless he’s not alone. He sits down on the couch next to Prompto, shoving a bowl of popcorn in his lap. Prompto gives him a look that is dangerously close to a pout.

“What? You’ve been wanting to see it. If we don’t watch it now, then who knows how long it’ll be until you do.”

He sighs, “Why do you do this to me?”

Noct laughs. “Shh, it’s starting.”

The opening scene starts out seemingly harmless, but Prompto finds himself inching closer to Noctis from the anticipation.

The woman in the movie starts walking to the backroom to turn out the lights, and suddenly a black figure appears in the room with her.

“What the fuck?” Prompto says.

She turns the lights back on to check if anyone is there and doesn’t find anyone else in the room with her.

Prompto jumps and grabs Noct’s arm when she turns the lights back off and finds the dark figure standing closer to her than before. Noctis seems unaffected by the jump-scare, and instead just giggles at his boyfriend’s jumpiness.

“I hate you.”

Throughout the next scene, Prompto finds himself half hugging Noctis while hiding behind him, involuntarily jumping at certain parts.

“Holy shit, she just killed him…?”

“Mhm.”

“What the fuck even is she? How does she appear in the dark like that?”

“Just watch.”

Prompto relaxes against the couch, or really tries to. They just sit together silently watching the movie for a while, but because Noctis has seen it before, he starts to become less engaged in the story. He reaches for the bowl, still in Prompto’s lap, and starts boredly eating some popcorn. Prompto hasn’t really touched any yet, probably because he’s just that into the movie.

Noctis looks at him. He doesn’t seem to notice, which is unsurprising.

He has a funny look on his face, like he’s trying to focus on what’s happening on the screen, but at the same time seems almost afraid to. It’s almost one in the morning, so his eyes look tired. If he wasn’t watching a horror movie, Noctis is sure that Prompto would nearly be passed out by now.

He realizes that he should probably continue watching the movie, but he’d rather watch Prompto reacting to it. He just really likes his face; Prompto’s face is pleasing to look at, and he can’t help staring at him sometimes. Noctis especially loves his freckles. He could look at them for hours trying to find patterns in them, connecting them with an imaginary line using his mind’s eye.

His eyes scan over Prompto’s, which have become bloodshot from fatigue. If he catches himself staring at his eyes for long enough, he’ll notice the tiny reflection of the TV screen in them, multiple colors flashing shiny over a violet base.

Noctis suddenly feels like getting his attention. He takes a piece of popcorn and throws it in Prompto’s face, just slightly startling him. He glares at Noct.

“Want some popcorn?” Noctis smirks.

Prompto proceeds to grab a small handful of popcorn just to chuck it in the prince’s face.

Noct pouts.

“Yeah, I’ll have some.” He takes another handful of popcorn, and this time he actually

eats it. Noctis catches the pieces that don’t quite make it into his mouth.

“Don’t make a giant mess. We won’t wanna clean it.” He giggles.

The blonde boy just laughs, struggling to chew all of the popcorn. Noctis pulls him closer, plants a kiss on his boyfriend’s jaw, and lets him continue watching the movie.

After several calm minutes, Noctis feels himself getting tired.

They had reached a point where there were less scary scenes and more development of the actual plot. He wants to rest his head against Prompto’s shoulder, but considering how jumpy he is, it might not be as comfortable as he’d like. He decides to lie down next to Prompto instead. He rests his eyes, while still listening to the movie.

Once another scary scene commences, he doesn’t have to look at the screen or even bother listening to know, because he can feel Prompto’s involuntary jumps.

“You’re really jumpy.” He teases.

“Because it’s spooky, Noct. Stop attacking me.” He grabs Noct’s shirt, which indicates to Noctis that another part of the intense scene is happening.

He hears Prompto mutter curse words under his breath, and opens his eyes to glance at the TV. They finally got to the last big scene of the movie.

At this point, Noctis is almost falling asleep, with Prompto’s comments being the only thing keeping him somewhat aware of what’s going on in the movie.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What the fuck, was she in there with him the whole time?!? Holy shit!! ”

Noctis shifts a bit, glancing at the scene, and then closing his eyes again.

“Nooct…” Prompto whined.

“Hm?” Noctis, sleepily, responds.

“It’s scary. ”

Noctis would laugh at him, but he’s too tired for that.

“C’mere.” He reaches for his boyfriend’s shoulders and pulls him down to let him lie on his chest. Prompto repositions himself so he can comfortably see the screen.

Something happens on screen again, and he feels Prompto jump again from the loud noise, and possibly from something that popped up on the screen.

“What the fuck, I can’t believe he did that . Ohmygod, ohmygod. ” Prompto hides his face in Noct’s neck. “Is the movie almost done, yet?”

“Almost.” He shakes the shoulder Prompto is leaning against. “Watch it.”

As the movie comes to an end, Prompto becomes significantly calmer. Noctis actually feels the tension leave his body. The credits finally roll as he starts rubbing circles into Prompto’s back.

“What’d you think of it?”

“I guess I liked it. That was an interesting ending. I think I would have enjoyed it more if we watched it during the day, though.”

“You’re just a scaredy-cat.”

“You wanna fight me?” Prompto asks, with almost no emotion.

“Never.”

They lie there for a few minutes, ignoring the credits. Prompto moves to tuck his head under Noct’s neck and tangle their legs together. The taller boy feels along the couch for the remote, and turns the TV off.

“You should go take your contacts out.” Noctis comments.

“Too lazy.” He says, “I’m comfortable.”

“Too bad.” Noct sits up and Prompto groans in response. “You’re gonna end up falling asleep with them in.”

“But the hallway is dark.” He whines. “Come with me.”

“What? You afraid Diana’s gonna come out of the dark and get you?”

Prompto punches Noct’s shoulder.

“You know I hate the dark anyway.”

Noct pushes his boyfriend up off the couch, and follows him to the bathroom. Prompto feels the wall and quickly turns on the light when he finds the lightswitch. He washes his hands, opens his contact lense case, which he dropped off next to the sink earlier in the day, and he begins the process of taking his contacts out.

Noctis leans against the doorframe, and watches him expertly use two fingers to pinch the contact to take it out.

“How do you do that everyday?”

Prompto shrugs. “You get used to it.”

When he starts cleaning his contacts, Noctis remembers how tired he is. He goes into the bedroom and dives under the covers. He’s vaguely aware that he’s taking up most of the bed, but he figures Prompto can just move him when he comes in.

He’s almost asleep when he hears the door closing. The lamp on his desk gets turned off, leaving the nightlight, in the wall next to the bed, the only light source. Prompto climbs over his body to lie between him and the wall. He grabs Noct’s arm and wraps it around himself.

“I’m not gonna be able to fall asleep now, and it’s all your fault.” He whispers, already sounding on the verge of falling asleep.

“You’re silly.” Noct slurs. “Just go to sleep. I’ll keep you safe from the monsters.”

“You better.”

The arm around Prompto tightens as Noct shifts to get more comfortable, his head resting against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

He’s really tired, and he knows it’s the kind where you feel so exhausted that it’s almost difficult to fall asleep. They should have started the movie earlier, but he wanted to finish playing the new Assassin’s Creed game with Prompto first.

He unconsciously starts rubbing the edge of Prompto’s other shoulder with his thumb. When he finally thinks he’s about to fall asleep, he hears a whisper.

“Hey, Noct?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He feels him kiss his forehead, which isn’t really a kiss because Prompto’s so tired that his lips are mostly slack against his skin. But it’s the thought that counts.

He passes out right when he begins to feel rhythmic breathing from the body next to him.

[chickenfetus]

ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)

im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)

1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?

i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets

2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?

idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now

3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?

listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves

4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?

this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep

5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?

i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food

6: What does your umbrella look like?

i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas

7: Do you listen to ASMR?

ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift

8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?

both, preferably when im indoors

9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?

hm??????????? my tags lmao 

UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all

10: Favorite color aesthetic?

does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue 

11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?

in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers

12:  Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?

neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight 

13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?

im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles

14: Have you ever rode a horse?

i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though

15: Do you have glasses?

without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses

16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?

japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me) 

17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?

my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)

18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?

hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?

19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie

m .. um? big. hero 6?????? 

20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?

my dumb ass didnt know they were different

21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?

i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao

22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?

how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post 

23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?

not really rip 

24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?

HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass

25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)

when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o

for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit

26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?

i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends

27: Do you like nicknames?

giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time

28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?

pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character 

29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)

never forget dat boi

30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)

we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!! 

i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ????? 

31:  Are you a fashionable person?

i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be

32: Do you like watching holiday movies?

not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????

33:  Cookies or brownies?

i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable

34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?

no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth

35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?

WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM 

36: Do you like cobblestone streets?

my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk

37:  How often do you doodle?

when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out

38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?

a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum

39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?

in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water

40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?

i………………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either

41: Any birthmarks?

not that i know of

42: Thoughts on freckles?

ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool! 

43: First video game you ever played?

pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya

44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?

i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk

45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?

memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen

46: Thoughts on spring?

no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring

47: Ideal temperature outside?

oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life

48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?

i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though

49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?

yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????

50: Do you enjoy windy days?

windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao

okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot

[survivordivergent]

EPISODE 5 - “THAT’S SHADY AS FUCK RIGHT THERE” - DANI

Okay but is this tribe gonna have a Kura Kura lovefest "oh my god group movie night, who wants to watch cycle six of ANTM and stay up all night braiding each other's hair" type of holiday break, or a Harimau "two weeks is a good amount of time to dig the trenches and put down tape to mark your side of the beach" type of holiday break?

*singing* Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made it out of clay, and when it's dry and ready, my dreidel I will play *singing ends* Happy Hanukkah!!

It's been two weeks. I can't remember my family. I'm in the woods somewhere. All is lost.

Hey hey! Happy 2017! I feel like I haven't talked to you guys since last year! (chuckle)  hehehe. Okay so coming back into the game after a 2 week break is..... slow going tbh. We have two people that haven't even logged in since the last challenge. I've talked with my alliance of Jill, Melissa, and Kyle, and Lake a little, but Will, Otto, and Riley are MIA. I mean, this is only reward (which I know is a huge deal because of these crazy idols we are searching for) but at the same time, it's not like they are missing immunity. Hopefully everyone turns up for that. Anyway, there's not much more to comment on right now, but once things pick back up, I'll be back! Also, shout out to Jenn From, for just being awesome.

WHAT ISNT GOING ON?

Oh wait, literally everyone. So Dani approached me asking for an alliance a few days ago w me and ed and geo and I'm like, okay f4 but I DONT TRUST THE BITCH. Bye

So yeah I guess it's been a while since I've written one of these.

Let me start this confessional off with a quick cheat sheet of all the new names we gave our tribe right before the break so that you have a little idea of who I'm talking about through this entire message. I am Daniela, as you have already guessed. Ed = Eduardo Percy = Perez Payton = Perla Geo = Gregory Peter = Pedro Lucy = Lupe

As it stands, there are seven of us remaining, and I believe (? could be wrong because according to Perla, I was kicked out of the alliance) there is an alliance of four with Eduardo, Perla, Greg, and Lupe. Like I said, I was apart of that alliance, but now my position is kind of undetermined because Perla wanted to be mad at me over literally nothing and tell me that I'm no longer a part of the alliance.

Now I'm on the bottom. Wonderful. It's clear as day that I'm going to be the next one to go because Perla has made it evident that she does not under any circumstance want to vote off Pedro because she apparently thinks he's more reliable than Perez was at the time. When we voted out the last person (idr who it was), I suggested the idea of getting Pedro out at the very next tribal council, but she said it was a bad idea because she thinks she can use him a little bit longer, or something to that effect. Honestly it's been so long, I don't even know what to say anymore.

On top of all of this, I came to the conclusion that Perla was coming after ME instead of Perez. It makes complete sense though because I did attack her with false receipts saying she was coming for me anyways, so I get it and I'm just going to pray for the best that we avoid tribal council for at least another round. Not to mention, I came into the knowledge through Perla herself that she and Eduardo have a secret final two alliance... the same thing that Eduardo promised to me. That's shady as fuck right there, so now I have a whole other aspect of the game completely up in the air right now, because I thought he would be totally loyal to me after we exchanged our identities to one another.

Truthfully, I want to mutiny to the other tribe. I still have my idol, so over on that side I would be safe at one more tribal council if it comes to that. I've pissed off some of the Four tribe members already though so I don't know if they would be as welcoming as I hope.

Let's say that we lose immunity and we have to go back to tribal council again. If I have the idol and I am convinced I am going unanimously, I have one shot to take at either Perla or Eduardo. I know that they're the biggest threats going forward, but I don't know if Eduardo is as visible of a threat as Perla. However, she's got a ton of people wrapped around her little finger and that's super intimidating, too. Then there's Lupe, who is a complete wildcard as far as everyone else goes, so I'm intimidated by that, too. I could literally flip the game whichever way I want.

The best option I have is to convince Perez to vote either Perla or Eduardo, and I vote the other. At worst, the votes would tie and we revote and likely Perla ends up leaving the game; OR Eduardo actually as the Erudite idol like he was searching for. If he plays it, she goes home but if she also has that immunity... Rip Pedro or Perez, unfortunately. I think if I make Perla feel uncomfortable enough, she might panic and drama ensues. I'm going to go along with them and let them "control" the vote; if they easily all agree on getting rid of Pedro or Perez, then I make a move. I could slip information to Greg, see if he runs back to Perla about me possibly flipping the votes, or I could just say nothing and hope they all dig my grave for me and I have the only vote that counts. That's so tricky though and extremely risky, so I'm not sure that's the best plan for me going forward... I have options, I really do.

Whew, sorry this confessional is so long, but I'm not finished yet. Something that weighs on my mind a lot now is the pressure to suddenly keep identities a secret. I didn't really intend on playing the game the way that I have so far and I feel really terrible for running around, trying to figure out everyone in the game. I didn't apply with that intention and I honestly didn't think that I would center the beginning of my strategy around discovering identities. But that's how Perla wants to play the game, and that was a very big part of my strategy with aligning myself to Eduardo. Now he knows who I am, so now he's going to use that all against me. I didn't even realize that until just now... He's the only one who knows the truth, and he might plan out blindsiding me around that. He knows how smart I can be sometimes, so now I'm actually REALLY WORRIED. If anything, this definitely taught me my lesson, and I'm sorry for being a bad son and ruining the twist for this season :(

I have so much more to say but I'm sure the viewers are like... "stop talking", so I will. I hope tomorrow we win reward so I can get my hands on that Dauntless idol, too, and really shake things up for this game. I wanna prove to everyone why you don't mess with Daniela Quinn ;)

okay so i've gotten really lazy with this game, as could be seen by the confessionals that i have been doing. there's no more title to them anymore! i feel really bad and i want to give the hosts an apology.

its been really tough, these people havent been trying to talk to me or anything. its been like that from the beginning, i know communication is a twoway street but not a single soul is trying to talk to me. i bet whoever peter and percy are want to try and get me out if we go to tribal, i hope that the alliance im in sticks together because i have been doing good in none creative type of challenges, like the music mashup or the hot pursuit or the typing thing, i think theyve noticed

that could make them see me as a challenge threat down the line but i feel like its the only thing keeping me here, come a swap or merge i really want to pick things up for me because ive doing terribly, for some  reason theres just something holding me back, if i want to win i have to start playing and socializing more with people, but that comes swap or merge so if we lose immunity and i leave its my fault

sorry Jenn and Jenna!!

What did I just do?  I shared the first 5 dauntless clues with the tribe because I had no idea what it was asking me but after reading it again I felt like you had to ask publicly for the idol.

I go back and look at the tribe chat and Jill has done just that. At least if it worked or even if it didn't it puts a target on their back and not mine.

We will see

OK SO LIKE. WE LOST REWARD. W/E. BUT LUCY IS ON MY HIT LIST? BYE BITCH.

I am YELLING about these idols. First hearing that embodying the faction values is how you receive the idol, I assumed that the Dauntless idol would be something risky. Just straight up asking for it in the tribe chat got me that idol and I am SHOOK. It was so obvious from clue 2 and definitely clue 3. I can't tell if the other tribe that got the clues just didn't want to take the risk or if they really just couldn't figure it out(?)

I will say if Lake did not put that in the tribe chat idk if I would have done that if I got the Dauntless clues. Maybe Lake thought that was what you are supposed to do for the idol and they didn't get it quite right. Or maybe they were just baiting the tribe, I am not sure but I am thankful for it. I am DEFINITELY going to have a target on my back for having an idol but hopefully Eliza can get the intel if I am going to be blindsided so I may not be in too much trouble.

Speaking of Eliza, she is my home-girl. I can't WAIT to see who she really is at the end because it will be interesting to see who I have been really working with. Whenever there is a double tribal I always plan early and think about the vote before immunity even happens. I decided to definitely bring it up to Eliza because we were talking and she got into it as well. I am ALWAYS so nervous to do it because I get afraid that everyone will think I am going too hard and turn on me. BUT me and Eliza started hardcore strategizing. We both really like our alliance with Melissa and Kyle, and we want this vote to be the right person because it sets the course for how the rest of the game goes. We have gotten to the point where tribe strength isn't the biggest factor and strategy is most important. We just gotta riddle out who the best person to take out is. My vote is for Riley. They are always busy, but are also always around enough to let us know they are busy. It makes me think they will use that to skate by being inactive and not a huge presence when they are really just sleeping until merge to link up with old tribe mates. That is my theory. And people like Otto and Will who are actually pretty inactive would seem to be the obvious targets, as Lake had recently mentioned to me, and we can take them out whenever. Riley in my opinion could be the biggest risk to keep. But gotta see what other people think and who wins immunity before we solidify that plan

...and we're back!

It's taken me a few days to get back into the swing of things, but I'm tackling things in earnest right now. The downside to a two-week break in the game is that it really hinders a lot of fledgling relationships (which is pretty much all we have, as aliases.) The only one that I feel hasn't taken a single step back is Payton. We started talking and it was like we hadn't stopped at all.

Danielle and Peter have both reached out to say hi since the break, which is awesome. It seemed like nobody really went out of their way to be super social pre-break, so I'm hoping this marks a turning point in the game. I've also said hey to Lucy and plan on dropping messages to Percy and Geo later. With the advent of a double tribal coming up, that makes it so much more crucial to be in good with people.

I think getting in with Payton can only be a good thing. She seems especially social and has the kind of attitude that people gravitate toward. As long as she's valuing our alliance as strongly as I am, I don't think I have MUCH to fear on this upcoming vote.

What's next? Swap? Merge? More tribe-play? I'd like to get an idol but, if I'm being honest, I suspect the Erudite idol is long gone by now. I'm still frustratingly stuck on that one clue, but I think it's enough to leave me in the dust. Still, I've come this far down the road that I may as well see it through to the end. Better to know there's no idol hidden anymore and that it's in play than it is to change horses mid-stream and lose even the remote possibility of getting either one.

Frankly, I'll be glad to be off this tribe whenever it comes. I like the people well enough, but when you're getting results in the 7- and 8-minute range, that's pretty weak. I thought my score of 4:12 wasn't awesome, so double that is like... what??? how?

Anyway, I'm slightly encouraged that Will didn't submit. Though we shared a tribe in the early game, I still feel infinitely closer to Kyle. If Will goes through this double, maybe Kyle would try to reel me in as his former Amity buddy. And if that's the case... I don't know. I'd consider it. I don't feel any affinity toward anyone on this tribe except Danielle and Payton. And those two don't see eye to eye, so do I want to hitch a ride on a sinking ship?

OKay so, picking back up where we left off. We win reward which is great. Then there is a mad dash for the idol clues. I ask for Erudite again, but I should have waited until I talked with one of my Allies, so we could ask for passwords and hints if we needed it. Out of nowhere, Lake decides to post all the Dauntless idol clues in the tribe chat, and pretty much, you just need to publicly ask for the idol and then you get it. Jill stepped up and she got the clue and I'm yelling. She told me about it, and said she decided she wasn't going to tell Melissa. I dont know if she told Kyle, because me, Jill and Kyle are in an alliance that doesn't include Melissa... but Melissa knows about the alliance so... ehh its all messy. I'm in 3 different alliances with the same people, but different combinations, its crazy! ANYWAY. Jill comes to me and says that because of this stuff with the Dauntless idol, she thinks the Abnegation idol might work similar. I guess the clue for that one says that like, "I can't get the idol for myself, I have to be selfless." She said she went to her host chat and said, "I want Eliza to have the Abnegation idol." Which, first of all, Jenna is a genius and if that's how it works, then amazing. A+. I'll gladly take it. But it's been several hours since then and I haven't heard anything from the hosts. But to be honest, I'm not really worried about having an idol right now... because at the SAME TIME Jill is telling me all of this, Lake messages me and says he thinks the same thing about the Abnegation idol, and told the hosts to give it to me. I'm yelling, two people are wanting to give me idols. I know where on of the 5 idols are, and I still have my core alliance. I feel like I'm doing okay in this game. I feel like I'm liked well enough that, come a swap or a merge, people from Four will want to stick with me.

Jill and I were talking about what we want to do with a possible merge coming. We both agree that we want to stick with out core alliance of us, Melissa, and Kyle. I told her I really dont want to link back up with Payton (who I still really think is Jaiden). I don't trust her after she made Six lose all their points in that one immunity challenge. And Peter was so inactive on Candor, I don't see him being as useful to me. We got to talking about what to do should we go to tribal again, and Jill brings up a good point that Riley needs to leave. She's only here enough to barely help with the challenges, and Jill feels like Riley has the most potential to link back up with her old tribe mates. She's also strong in challenges, and if we get to a merge with her, she might be too hard to beat. It would be better for us to keep people who are inactive and we can vote them out later. Since this challenge is individual, we just gotta hope that Riley doesnt win immunity, and then we can talk to Melissa and Kyle about it. Guess we will wait and see what happens.

Okay, so I have a little bit of a master plan in mind. Obviously this really depends on whether I get immunity or not, because most of this plan was developed around the idea that I will win it. It's all going to depend on how lucky I get today, but here's the idea I've come up with.

I win immunity. I know that Eduardo and Perla are never going to vote out Pedro, simply because Perla has Pedro on lock. If Ed/Perla are as close a final two as I suspect, they'll share that opinion. The goal for now is to convince them that I'm solid with voting off Pedro so they never suspect anything is coming, but also so they get Pedro pissed off at me. Gregory needs to also be okay with the plan, but not be the one pushing for the vote to go that way, because he will be vulnerable in this stage of the vote's preparation.

Then, I go to Perla and Ed with receipts of Gregory trying to get rid of both of them. This raises their paranoia, but since these conversations happened last night and most of this afternoon, I can convince them that this was only his suggestion if Pedro/Perez won immunity.

I am going to inform Gregory of this "deception", while also cluing him into the Abnegation Idol, which then starts the second half of part two. Gregory will then go to Perla (because she's got the highest rate of tea-spilling thus far) and figure out that I was letting them know about his future plans, to which he apologizes to both of them and acts like he's going to get voted out. He'll run around and throw my name under the bus hardcore and cause as much drama behind the scenes as possible, while keeping me "in the dark" about all of the deception. Mostly, he runs to Perez, Pedro, and Lupe about all of this, because Ed and Perla would immediately report this back to me, and I would have to know I'm in some sense of danger. I do not want this.

Gregory will throw me under the bus to Pedro for trying to vote him out, he'll say that I wanted Perez next, and Lupe right after that. Meanwhile, Ed and Perla still hold a little bit of trust in me for leaking the information. They might consider keeping me around after all of this blows over, but for now, they're sold on getting rid of Gregory at this tribal council. I need to figure out how to get Perez mutually on my side as well as Ed/Perla's side, because I don't want them choosing to vote together and getting rid of Perez instead of Pedro while also keeping the alliance intact, because that would be a literally fatal error in the whole scenario.

Part three starts... right before tribal council. As in, maybe four hours before. I publicly announce that I'm giving individual immunity to Gregory because I felt bad about letting everyone know of his plans, and that I found out that it hurt him. We apologize to each other, but obviously he pretends to be "in shock" about the entire ordeal. However, he still guns to get rid of me. Perla and Ed, annoyed that I gave up immunity, then turn on me and are set on voting me out this round. Lupe, Perez, and Pedro also go along with this plan, and then... I play my idol on myself :) Part four.

Obviously, there are some factors that could cause this entire thing to not even work, especially if I don't win immunity. If Gregory wins immunity, I could still throw him under the bus and let him try to advocate for my elimination, and then still play the idol for myself. If neither of us win, I'll think of something at that moment and make sure everything goes according to plan.

I'm also trying to get the possibility of people flushing idols. If I root against Pedro, then there is a chance that when I play my idol, he plays his on himself. If this is the case, then Ed/Perla might play a possible idol on Perla, too. Again, this all changes how effective my move is, because if the randomly immune person is Ed (aka the target of all of this), we lose at every scenario we encounter. I guess in a revote with Pedro, Ed, Perla, me, Gregory all being immune, there could be an attempted flip against Lupe and she'll get eliminated instead.

I want to talk to Perez right before tribal and convince him to vote for Perla "with me", too. If all else fails and Ed becomes immune by some stroke of luck, she will have his sole vote to be eliminated, which also prevents anyone else from having their thrown vote counted.

There are so many damn variables to this tribal council, but I want to make it count. I wasn't born in Dauntless for a reason.

Later

SOOO I just won individual immunity. Never in a fucking million years would I have ever expected that and I actually jumped around on the bed when I saw results. At first I was thinking about the other Danielle that got voted out but then I was like...wait....you actually won something and I SCREAMED

How INTERESTING was it that Ed placed me up high on his list, too. I think I'm going to use that to my advantage though, try to milk the fact that Ed would never betray me, that Perla and I are so tight, etc etc and use it to guilt Gregory into believing that they are actually going to blindside me. Whether or not that is actually true is still up for determination, but the fact still matters THAT I WON SOMETHING.

We went from like, 14 to 13 and now Will's out of the game. Awesome news for me because that's one less hurdle to cross next round, and I think I need to start stirring the pot as much as I can in the next couple hours before everyone resorts to bedtime. Whether or not I was anyone's target is completely up in the air now, but I'm going to make sure everyone has a reason to vote me off when I give up that immunity.

Ed is still my target. He should be going home tomorrow, but of course crazier things have happened (arguably in different games but you get my point giujdsdijs).

My alias is going to go out the window tonight. This is Hurricane Jaiden's game to play.

So for the second time in my survivor career (and it's not many games) I have had immunity taken away from me.

For the second time I've seen the results, celebrated, logged off, logged back on and seen corrected results.

I know it probably won't make a difference but I was really happy to have won.  Now I have to stress and am no longer gonna try and make a move.

I made a formal alliance with Eliza and Kyle and I guess we will probably vote off Otto or Riley.

Bye for now. Thanks for noticing me.

SO MUCH FOR IMMUNITY.

But don't count me out, folks ;)

[7:31:07 PM] ♥daniiela♥: okay good news and bad news [7:31:17 PM] ♥daniiela♥: which one first [7:31:18 PM] Gregory Barajas: Neither i had payton after you [7:31:22 PM] Gregory Barajas: Bad [7:31:35 PM] ♥daniiela♥: tell the hosts lol [7:31:47 PM] ♥daniiela♥: okay so, bad news is neither of us have immunity obviously [7:31:52 PM] ♥daniiela♥: and i don't know if i can give you the idol now [7:31:55 PM] ♥daniiela♥: but good news [7:32:04 PM] ♥daniiela♥: I dont want to vote off geo right now. I don't think thats a good idea [7:32:11 PM] ♥daniiela♥: so perla clearly wants me out [7:32:20 PM] ♥daniiela♥: I'm playing the idol regardless [7:32:23 PM] ♥daniiela♥: but you can flip this all on me [7:32:35 PM] ♥daniiela♥: call ME out, screenshot our convos, everything. expose me to her later on [7:32:49 PM] ♥daniiela♥: and i'll play it on myself, still the same as before [7:33:27 PM] Gregory Barajas: Okay, so now i call you out and expose you so they vote for you [7:33:32 PM] ♥daniiela♥: not right now [7:33:34 PM] ♥daniiela♥: but soon [7:33:40 PM] Gregory Barajas: Ik, tomorrow [7:34:16 PM] ♥daniiela♥: ed and i were considering lucy? [7:34:18 PM] ♥daniiela♥: expose this l8r [7:34:31 PM] Gregory Barajas: Really thats weird [7:34:49 PM] ♥daniiela♥: [7:33:47 PM] ♥daniiela♥: ok [7:33:58 PM] Perla Rodriguez: it better not leave this :) or i will switch my vote to u u binch :) [7:34:07 PM | Removed 7:34:30 PM] Perla Rodriguez: This message has been removed. [7:34:28 PM] ♥daniiela♥: omg really? [7:34:54 PM] ♥daniiela♥: that's when she said she was considering lucy [7:35:05 PM] ♥daniiela♥: thats perfect ammunition [7:35:15 PM] ♥daniiela♥: we could even flip lucy to vote perla [7:35:23 PM] ♥daniiela♥: instead of perez or pedro [7:35:53 PM] Gregory Barajas: Omg thats fucking great information [7:36:01 PM] ♥daniiela♥: it is [7:36:05 PM] ♥daniiela♥: but no one can know about the idol [7:36:13 PM] Gregory Barajas: Ed or yours? [7:36:22 PM] ♥daniiela♥: either [7:36:37 PM] Gregory Barajas: Okayits a secret

A N Y W A Y S

Based on the challenge I'm assuming that a lot of attention is probably on myself and Riley to be potential targets...

I feel like this challenge can LOWKEY reveal who's working together and who's being targeted.

I'M ASSUMING Eliza is probably in one of the slightly more "powerful" positions on this tribe and therefore her list can be seen as "reliable" in terms of who's being targeted and who she's working with. Since she had Riley last, I feel like it's safe to assume that Riley could potentially be her target (UNLESS I'm her target and she only placed me a couple of slots higher to be less obvious). She also put Lake second to last, probably because she's working with him and in turn knows that she could rely on his list having me (a possible target) low/last on his list.

So, that all leads me to believe that at the very least Eliza and Lake are together, and I'm a very likely target.

ALSO, Lake is so... wild for posting on the Dauntless clues in the chat... just for Jill to get the idol like. ??? Chill perhaps? What was the point?

SO UMMMMMMMM I really do not know what to do! If people tell me to vote for Riley then I'll probably go along with that but like... I guess I'd need to talk things through with Jill or something because she's actually been trying to talk to me unlike... everyone else! If I could sort of pick and choose who I want to leave then? I'd target Lake but I definitely am not in any kind of position on this tribe to like... swing the vote in any sort of direction.

Whateverrrrrrrr

eyerolls into oblivion tag yourself im will's math abilities

I'm probably going home this round? I really don't think I trust Dani or Geo. But hey, Divergent, it's been lit! I feel like my game has been the best it's ever been, and if I go home, I'm happy with this. I mean I'll be pissed because someone flipped, but I'm happy with this.

Lucy? Voting me out? Iconic! Bye bitch. You're gonna go.

Fuck the lyin bitch lucy

[2017-01-05 12:18:16 PM] Peter Jacobson: [1/5/17, 11:16:47 AM] Peter Jacobson: This message has been removed. [1/5/17, 11:17:38 AM] Perla Rodriguez: Okay. I was worried about that. [1/5/17, 11:17:50 AM] Peter Jacobson: Sorry, I had to delete it [1/5/17, 11:17:55 AM] Perla Rodriguez: It's okay [1/5/17, 11:18:00 AM] Peter Jacobson: I don't want you to go, and I don't trust Lucy at all [2017-01-05 12:22:32 PM] Peter Jacobson: [1/5/17, 11:21:57 AM] Peter Jacobson: Have you been talking to Logan? [1/5/17, 11:22:19 AM] Ed Creegan: Logan?

I fucked up

I fixed it

If Lucy goes tonight, I did that.

Peter DID THAT! ™