#anyways if you like lesbians and space and being so confused u should read the tlt series

[so-very-small]

the worst part of being a g/t fan is when you really get into a piece of Media, like a book or show or whatever. but all your friends who like The Media arent into g/t. and all your g/t mutuals have never heard of The Media before. so you’re just alone going nuts with sizey concepts no one you know could comprehend

[bunnyboy-juice]

spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

[svnflowermoon]

hi luie (can i call u luie? i think it sounds really romantic and cute but if u dont like it let me know)

u said in ur intro post that ur a lesbian & a certified romantic advice giver, so i thought maybe u could help me out or tell me what u think?

so 3 years ago i really liked this girl (lets call her M) i was best friends with, and we both knew that we both were interested in girls. M eventually told me that she liked me so much and i told her i liked her too. we didnt really do anything about it, bc we didnt know what to do. then the next year we were in different classes and stopped being best friends, i kinda forgot about liking M. then the year after that (last year) we were in the same class again and i started to like M again.

but then i found out (not from her) that right after M told me she really liked me she had asked our mutual friend ‘bmgf?’ and idk what they did as girlfriends but they stopped being girlfriends after a few months (?) . and then i found out M dated this other girl for 4 months… i was really upset and confused about this

so back to the fact i started liking M again. we am were in the same class and were sort of friends but not really. some things happened (when we got hurt bc M tripped over me she kept holding my hands and not letting go and asking me if i was ok, and she waves at me from the bus stop and makes eye contact, and one time i was waving at another friend and M came up to me and held my hand for a few seconds and then let go)

so now i dont like M so much anymore but i am so confused and i dont really know what to do… what do you think? what do you think i should do?

anyways im so sorry that it’s so long and if its too complicated u dont have to answer it but thanks anyways for reading

(im from nz too btw!)

from anon 🫀

hi angel!! (sorry in advance this is such a long answer you probably expected like three sentences 😭)

yes ofc you can that's so cute i love that so much everyone should call me that <3

ahhh yes i am indeed both of those and no one has asked for romantic advice in a while so yayyy this is exciting!!

OHHHH WOW OKAY i know the feeling babe i've been in a similar situation especially with the drifting apart part

that's so weird omg, like the fact that you both said you liked each other and then she went off and dated other people?? (i hope i'm interpreting this right ahsjzhsjkhd)

ok the holding hands and stuff lowkey sounds like flirting (especially the part where you're with another friend like in my experience that kind of thing tends to have some kind of meaning behind it) where like she's too awkward to do anything more?? maybe she's trying to figure out if you still like her or if you've gotten over her??

i honestly don't really know what you should do but i can tell you what i'd do in that situation.

(generally i wouldn't recommend this bc it can be unhealthy but in this scenario your whole friendship seems very on and off so it might actually be beneficial) you said you don't like her so much anymore, and when that happens to me i always just take a (metaphorical) step back. like i don't push them away or anything but i just kind of distance myself from them. see how M reacts if you put a bit of distance between the two of you, by doing that you can kind of figure out how she feels about you??

if it doesn't help/give you any indication of how she feels about you then it will definitely give you some clarification on how you feel about her. idk but it sounds from what you're saying that you're not entirely sure how you feel about her rn. having some space between you tends to be more difficult if there's strong romantic feelings. i've found that there's been a few crushes where i put some space between us and was SO releived it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders?? like it was hard bc we were close friends but she was like super bad for me and i had felt myself getting more negative about life in general whenever i was around her??? that's a special case though like we just genuinely weren't compatible and if we'd dated like she'd wanted us to we would have absolutely gone up in flames lmaooo

but anywayyy i feel like im rambling

so like I'd just try put some space between the two of you bc that can clarify a lot of things for you.

if you realise from her reaction that she is interested in you + you are interested in her, then go for it!! at that point it's up to you to decide how to go on but i would probably say make the first move bc even though she seems fine to confess she might not be confident to actually start anything?? which would be why nothing came of it in the first place but idk?

if you get the feeling that she doesn't really care that you're distancing yourself, then you can probably assume that she's not interested in you anymore.

if this is the case, then the best move is to try to get over her.

i have no advice for getting over people because i have never gotten over anything in my life but if you decide that getting over her is for the best then i wish you the best!!

and if you realise that your feelings for her aren't as strong as you thought, then that speaks for itself.

anyway if you've made it this far i hope this massive answer had one or two sensible bits of advice amongst my rambling and feel free to ask more questions ml <33 also hi to another nz mutual (?) idk if we're mutuals but yeah ily <33

[bykio]

A/N: So.... I didn’t mean to not write for a while but school and other things have happened since then, so I hope that this is good. Also my friend @ih8people​ gave me an idea for one of the parts in this little part of the story, so, just wanted to give her some credit too... Anyways, Lets start the 3rd part of  this Karma x reader x Nagisa (also I know that it’s not the greatest thing, but I’m going to try TvT )

Hope you like it~ See ya when you finish reading~

Recap: Keiko then walked somewhere off the regular path to get her sister, as the two realizing what Keiko just said. Since she just left, they shuffled to get back to her. Once they got to her, they just started talking, until Keiko realized something. 

“Oh, and just so you know, my sister will probably freak out when you two get to my house. Just a warning.” Keiko said, calmly.

At that second, Nagisa and Karma stopped their walking and looked at each other in confusion.“Wait what?”

While the two had paused in their steps, Keiko had continued walking not bothering to stop for them, just continued to walk and ignore how the red and blue hared kids had stopped, what was now 10 feet away without realizing their guide had left them in the dust. 

After a second of realization, the two hurried back to Keiko. They wanted to know what the heck she had meant, but she didn’t answer any of their questions, instead she just walked up to where her sister would exit her class in a few seconds.

“Ok, listen up you idiots! I need you to stay at least 10 feet away from me and my sister at all times till you follow me to my house. Now, when you see me enter, you better wait a few minutes at least for me to tell her what is going on, ok.” she finished. Her eyes were shone with anger, force, and intimidation. For the first time in a while (lets just say) the two boys were very much scared at her words and how stern she was when it came to being serious. They both realized that this girl had many different blades when it comes to assassination or anything when she puts her mind to something she was serious about. 

And even before they could realize, Keiko was gone, and had gotten her sister to walk her home. 

“Hey Hero! How was your day?” Keiko asked her little sister, who had totally switched personalities from a few seconds ago. “Oh hey Key! It was fine, but, I may have uh... to talk to you about something... when we get home, is that ok?” Hero said to her older sister, with a faint blush on her cheeks, that didn’t go unnoticed by her sister. “Sure~ Now, lets get home, I have a few things to do after you tell me~” Keiko said with a sly smirk on her face, wondering what her sister was going to tell her. But on the inside, she really hoped that the two a few feet away didn’t hear the nickname her sister had just called her.

Karma- “Did I hear that right? Did her sis just call her Key?~

Nagisa- “I don’t think we should pester her too much about it right now...” he said sweat-dropping ‘But knowing you, you will tease her about it’

Karma- ‘Imma tease her about it’

~Time skip cause I’m lazy~

Once Keiko and her sister were in their house, Keiko started to ask her sister first about what had happened at school first before the two could come and ruin a moment she could have with her sister. 

“Soooo~ what is it you want to tell me?~” Keiko started, wiggling her eyebrows a little towards her sister, making her sister remember and start to blush a bit more then she had when she had brought it up before.

“W-well, so you know u-uh, LGBTQ+ right?” Hirako started, stuttering a little bit. “Sis, who do you take me for? Yea I know what it is. What about it?” Keiko said. “Well, I- uh, I- I THINK I’M LESBIAN!” Hirako blurted out. Keiko, stopped what she was doing at that second then yelled at the top of her lungs, “I KNEW IT! Now spill who do you have a crush on in you class~” (I really wanted some tie between this, please don’t hate me) Keiko said, sitting down on the couch that was close to the chair Hirako was sitting in.

“I- What!? What do you mean you know?” Hirako asked slightly bewildered and kinda confused that her sister took it so well, but thankful at the same time that her sister took it so well.

“Never mind that, who do you have a crush on? I want to know!!!” Keiko said excitedly, waiting anxiously for the answer from her sister. “I- I mean, i like this girl, she, she is in my class, her name is Alex...” Hirako started, “She- she is really nice and kind to me, unlike some of the other kids in my class, she also helped me a few times get out of some situations that could have ended up bad, so I, yea I kinda like her...” Hirako finished, her eyes covered by a shadow, and a heavy blush on her face. 

Hirako mumbled something incoherent to Keiko’s ears, so with a smirk (and ways to get the two together,) Keiko asked, “What was that~ I couldn’t hear you~” Keiko said with a teasing matter of tone in her voice.

Hirako rolled her eyes, and tilted her head towards her sister, “You are as sadistic and sinister as Karma, and sneaky and smart as Nagisa, making you three the perfect pair~” Keiko widened her eyes, remembering the little situation she was in...

~Outside the front door of Keiko and Hirako’s house~

Karma: “Did you hear that just now?” 

Nagisa: “I knew it was a bad idea to eavesdrop when we are saposed to wait for her to come get us...” Nagisa said, sweatdroping

~Back in the house~

“I- I” Keiko started blushing a bit knowing that the two were most likely hearing what they were talking about. “Whatever, you still didn’t answer my question, what was it you said under your breath?” Keiko shot back

“I- I said I think that I saw a lesbian pin on her backpack...” Hirako answered

There was silence.

for a few seconds...

then

“YES!!!!!! HA! HELL YES! MY SHIP WILL SAIL I KNOW IT! IT WILL IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!-” Keiko rambled on and on while yelling. Keiko didn’t always curse, so it was mainly a special ocation when she did, or she stubbed her tow really hard, but other then those moments, she rarely did.

Hirako had barely heard what she said after her huge ‘YES!!!!!!’ While the two behind the front door literally jumped back when they herd the outburst. They first had jumped back a few feet, Nagisa on the floor scared out of his mind, and Karma ready with useless knife in hand. They got over their shock eventually, but then got tired of waiting for Keiko to eventually explain their situation. Well mainly Karma, but we don’t talk about how impatient this sadistic boy is. 

~After a few mintues of the rant final being over~

“Ok, so like I said before, I have a little, well situation going on...” Keiko started, with Hirako’s full attention on her, with wide and wondering eyes focused on Key.

“Ok, so um, in my class there are-” 

She wasn’t able to finish her sentience when the door was kicked down by Mr. Impatient himself, with a worried light blue haired boy trying to pull him back. Obviously, that didn’t work.

You and Hirako were just staring, you with a deadpan + angry look on your face, while Hirako, a face of utter anger, and surprise noting who the two boys look identical to.

“HA!” was all that the redhead said when you went over to the two. He said this while he looked like he just accomplished something great. (In his opinion of course) They weren't even able to comprehend that you had come up behind them, and hit both of the back of their heads with a bit of force, more then they were thinking would actually come from you. (Not to be rude to you reader-chan) 

“You idiots” you breathed out, making a shiver go down the two’s spine, not expecting your tone of voice either. “I didn’t finish explaining.” you finished, and dragged the two into the kitchen by their ears, and closed the door behind you. You scolded them a bit more, but not in the same tone, then you came out, and explained everything to your sister, and she took it surprisingly well. 

“So, let me get this strait, they came from Assassination Classroom, and are now stuck so far to what we know? Ok, just tell me one thing~” Hiro said with a glint of misgif in her eyes. “Ugh, what?” you said, smiling slightly sadly because she knew a little of what it was going to be. “Are you glad that they are finally real? I mean, you are a huge simp for he both of them nfuhtalbweercklgbs psegjsegkjrrhfansegbfj” Hiro was muffled at the end by Keiko’s hand, and said, “Ok, I will give you 10 dollars you won’t tell them that, no shortcuts, no loop holes, no NOTHING when it comes to that, got it?” you said, she agreed and you held up with your part of the deal.

When that whole situation was done with, you took the two into your room. (i just want to describe what it would like, you can add stuff to it if you want but this is just the layout for it in my head) Your room was a decent size, you had a good sized bed, when if you sat in the middle with your back to the wall, and your door to your left. it had your closet in a seprite room connected to it, with a nightstand a few feet away from you. there was lots of space for your figurines, posters, manga, *cough*cough* weapons *cough*, and much more collections you have from a number of anime’s you have watched. You also had a mini couch in your room with a desk in the corner, but you piled it up with random stuff so you used you couch more with your computer as your mini TV. Though the ones that were in a separate and more collected spot was the one with you Assassination Classroom poster above your bed, and entire manga series aide it. Your room did have a designated bookshelf for the different manga you read, but the whole series of A.C. was (again) designated, since it was you favorite.

When you entered, you looked bored, and were kinda tired. The while need to explain everything that had happened, was exhausting, so you plopped down on your bed, but started looking up Assassination Classroom for watching and information purposes, to help Nagisa and Karma remember what the last things that happened. The only thing, you didn’t want to happen was have them be transported back to their anime, like you have read in other fan fictions. sure it was silly, but you kinda liked having them around though you’d never admit it. (tsundere much reader-chan?~) 

“So, what’s the last thing you remember when you were home...” Keiko started, it was almost hard for her to say the word “home” since it hurt you a little bit. “Oh, we were just getting back from our vacation-” “Yea when Nagisa showed our last P.E. Teacher that he could take on any fight!” Karma interrupted Nagisa, while you thought to yourself, ‘we shouldn’t go past that part, I don’t want to ruin anything.’ as you finished pulling up the first episode. 

All three gathered on you bed, Nagisa on your left, Karma at your right. You blushed at first as they each laid their head on either of your shoulders, but continued.

It was about the 13th episode, till you were rudely interrupted by your brother surprising you in your hallway walking past, getting the wrong idea when he saw the two boys laying on either side of you.

From his point of view, he saw two boys laying on either side of you, literally hanging off you, and it seemed like they were pretty comfortable. He just smirked, and leaned his back against the door way and said, “Oh~ looks like my lil sis didn’t find one but two boys all of a sudden that can deal with her huh?~” he finished, startling you, witch caused the other two to realize that a new stranger was in the house they weren't told about.

Your cheeks started to burn from embarrassment, and right when you were excited for the upcoming episode. You got up, placing the computer down in the spot you used to be in, and took your brother by his elbow and went down stairs.

“Hey where are you going?” Nagisa said after you, he had liked being in your room in peace watching all their past experiences with him and Karma.

“I- Uh, I’m going to go talk to my brother for a moment and make him food, since he’s really bad at cooking.” Keiko said with a smirk at the end while walking down the stairs. “Don’t worry it shouldn’t take more then 5 minutes” she finished.

~In the Kitchen~

“So, who are they?~ Are you in a poly relationship or something?~” He said, wondering if he was correct. You, on the other hand, were zoned out seeing you put ketchup on your butcher knife to originally cut tomatoes, wondering if you could get away with fatality injuring your brother and not being noticed.

“I swear, if you say one more word about that, I will hurt you with this...” you said, holding up the knife. “Don’t worry, I won’t, unless I’m correct and you are trying to get out of the subject~” he said. That was the last straw.

~In your room still~

“Its almost been 10 minutes, I think we should go check on her.” karma started, getting up from his seat. He was finished going through your search history. “I don’t know Karma, maybe we should stay and wait for her...” Nagisa said, hoping to stay instead and not get lost in your house. 

“C’mon Nagisa, lets just go, it’ll be ok.” Karma said finally convincing his friend to come.

when they got down stairs, they were at the foot of the stairs when they saw what you were doing. 

You were holding the butcher knife in one hand, the other on your brother’s shoulder, about to, what it looked like, at least cut his arm almost clean off.

The two of you heard the stairs creak, topping what you were doing. In truth, you only going to cut a little of his arm, not all of it. But the scene was kinda weird you have to admit. They didn’t know the already redened knife was ketchup that you didn’t pay attention to, but hey, we all make mistakes.

After a few moments of sorting things out, you, Nagisa, and Karma went to your room again about to start the episode up again, but when you opened your laptop, holding your phone, the Computer screen lit up in a bright light, not regular to the glare it would give if it was lat at night when you look at your phone for the first time in a while.

“Ah! Is- Is this supposed to happen?” Karma yelled to you. “No! I’ve watched this series often, and this has never happened!” you yelled back, holding your hands in front of you, simaler to what the two boys were doing on either side of you.

Soon enough, the three of you were being dragged into the screen soon transported to a different, unknown location to you.

When your eyesite cleared, you were with Karma, at your side, and Nagisa walking up to their old psychotic P.E. Teacher that tried to take Kurasuma’s job.

“Wait is Nagisa going up there alone!? Why?! No! He wi- I mean could get hurt!!” you said balancing, standing up with your phone in hand. 

Then it hit you

‘No no no no no no no no. NO! Please no... I can’t be here, as amazing as it is, please no...’ you thought to yourself.

“Don’t worry young lady” a new voice came into your earshot. You knew that voice... Koro-Sensei!! 

“Nagisa can handle this, and thank you for taking care of my students while they disappeared for a short amount of time.” Koro-sensei said with his ever lasting smile still on his face.

“Thanks Koro-Sensei, but I still don’t like watching this over and over again” you said more to yourself then anything

Oh you shure hoped that everything would work out in the end, I mean you knew it would but that also included you getting back hope too...

The End

[cinniharpy]

Alright, so I wrote the following for a private Twitter account I have and... I dunno, I put so much into it that I wanted to share it somewhere else too. This is the only other place I'm mostly comfortable with, so here ya go.

Okay. Well, it's pride month and I got this here private twitter, so let's do A Thing. Let's talk about B I S E X U A L I T Y. Or, at least how I've experienced it.

"But, Amanda," I can already hear assholes saying. "You've only been in relationships with men. How can you be bisexual?"

Ooooooooh well, we're about to get into it and my lifetime of confusion and repression because of worrying about how other people view things.

To start, being bi is not something new for me. I might not have been willing to admit it, but I've known I'm bi since I was ten years old.

Because at the same time I developed a first crush on Daniel, I also developed one on Sarah.

And to a ten year old growing up in Texas, I didn't know what that meant, but I knew it wasn't right. You were not supposed to feel the same way about girls that you did about boys.

But I did.

And I remember finding out what the word "lesbian" meant and how bad that supposedly was. There was a rumor that my teacher - my favorite teacher - was in a relationship with another teacher at the school. Another woman. And parents raised a fuss and kids said awful things...

So, to little ten-year-old Amanda the message was received. Whatever made me like Sarah in the same way I liked Daniel was bad and I was bad for it.

So began many, many years of denial and confusion.

But, despite me driving back any gay thoughts, my crushes in my younger years were still varied.

And, even when we moved to new states and I met new people, and things slowly started to seem more accepting... I felt like homosexuality was something I could accept in others, but not myself.

And I guess I figured... if I also liked boys, then what did it matter. I was straight enough to just say I was straight.

And it's not like I could ever pursue a relationship with a girl, right? What would my parents say?

Well, I knew what they would say. One time I brought it up with my mom, where she told me that she'd be fine with it, but that she wouldn't want that for me because it would mean my life would be very hard.

And my dad? I only remember it coming up with him once. I don't recall how it came up, but I remember him yelling "You like girls?!" in a tone that I couldn't read, so I just vehemently denied it.

So until, I'd say, maybe middle of college I just called myself straight both internally and to everyone else.

And by this point my preferences in partners were starting to solidify, which, in some ways made it hard to do something like claim I'm bi.

For one, I do still tend to go for men. Bisexuality is a spectrum and a large part of my spectrum is still men.

For two, my preference in the types of people I liked who WEREN'T men also made me feel like I couldn't claim to be bi. Truthfully? When I do go for non-men, they do tend to be more androgynous or butch people. My crush list pretty much contains almost entirely men, butch lesbians, and masculine leaning and/or androgynous non-binary people. I wouldn't rule out the possibility of being with someone more feminine, but typically that hasn't been my preference.

But these preferences made me feel like I wasnt "gay enough" to claim being bi when even the not-men I liked were still more masculine.

Side note: these preferences have also been why "bi" has felt like a more accurate term for myself than "pan."

ANYWAY. Maybe halfway-ish through college I started to become more comfortable with thinking of myself as bi and being okay with the fact that I'm attracted to more than just men. This mostly came from being around more lgbt people. SCAD was an art school so, ya know, this was inevitable. And amazing. Because, up until that point I had seriously not met even one lgbt person who was fully out and totally comfortable with themselves.

And yet, I still have yet to be in a relationship with anyone who's not a man. Might've kissed a girl, but that's about it.

So why?

Hooo boy. A good chunk of reasons.

A big one is fear. I've been interested/had not-men be interested in me before. Doesn't go very far. Because I'm afraid of a lot of things. I mean, I already have enough relationship fears with men, and now imagine a non-striaght relationship.

Like, even though this has been a near life-long thing for me, what if all the people who have ever been shitty to me about being bi are right? What if I'm just wasting someone else's time? Bi now, straight later, right?

What if I don't do gay right? Do I want to go back to basically feeling like a confused virgin if the person I'm having sex with doesn't have a penis or wants to have sex in another way? How do I navigate that?

What would my family say? There's some extended family who might never speak to me again. My own parents might say they'd be accepting, but would they really? My dad can be very homophobic. Could I really expose a partner to that?

How would friends react? Would they be weirded out? How would people in public spaces react? How much of this relationship would I have to hide? Could I be attacked?

Would a lesbian even want anything to do with me knowing that I've been with men before/am capable of being attracted to men? Because holy hell I've also heard gay people say downright terrible things about bi people.

Would being in a visibly non-striaght relationship affect things like having a job or looking for a job?

If I do fully claim my bisexuality how many people does that chase away? There's even been guys I've been interested in where I've thought "they can't know this about me because it will either make them no longer interested in me or they will think it's their ticket to a three way."

And surprise, surprise, guess what my ex thought was gonna happen when I did eventually tell him. Spoiler alert, asshole! Two things: one, the kind of girl I'm into is not gonna result in your fem-on-fem fantasy. And two: my sexuality is not a performance for your titillation.

I digress... there's a lot of reasons that I haven't REALLY explored that side of my sexuality. And sometimes I wonder if I ever will. Thing is, even if I don't, it's still a part of me and has been since I was ten. It's something I've been confused about, agonized about, questioned, and even found joy in for twenty years now. And I don't think that's nonexistent or nothing.

Though it is perhaps sad that one of my prevailing thoughts is: If I am capable of being attracted to men and it helps me avoid all the fears and worries I've listed above, then maybe that's what I should stick to.

But that also feels disingenuous. Because I am attracted to men. I know that, and it is (often unfortunately) undeniable. But I also have a long history of being attracted to people who aren't men. And coming out and being okay with that is still an ongoing process for me.

I might never be fully out - not unless I do become involved with someone other than a man. I don't talk about this on facebook and my family sure doesn't know.

But in some ways I think it would be kind of nice to be fully out? To be fully comfortable with this part of me?

But that has to start with me being comfortable with the label.

So yeah, even though until this point I have only been in relationships with men, I am bisexual and I do claim that label.

No matter who I choose to become involved with, I am bi.

I have always been and will always be bi.

[cs-discourse]

Breaking Down Clowns' Posts: Episode One with Mochi

let's get into a Breakdown, shall we? my interpretations are in bold :) 

I’m fucking over this mewlin bullshit. Idc what kind of hate I’m going to get over this because obviously nobody is allowed to have beliefs contrary to your own anymore. to start off, saying "idc what kind of hate i'm going to get over this" before saying something defending a terrible opinion is a bad thing to do, just sayin. you saying "because obviously nobody..." makes it seem like you're annoyed with us being upset over transphobia! that's just my interpretation, but it'd bc a shame if you were :) because our opinion is valid and mewlin's transphobic opinions are not. anyways, if the beliefs you hold could potentially harm somebody/a community, they aren't valid whatsoever. let's put it this way (thank u alcides for saying this): bigoted people vote for bigoted opinions. bigoted opinions lead to bigoted laws, and these laws will harm people's lives & affect the choices they are able to make. also, blatant transphobia is so different from a VALID opposing belief such as preferring winter over summer. transphobia kills. favorite seasons don't. But anyways. Y’all need to laY oFF. Mewlin is a person, just like you and I. She thinks, eats, and breathes. nice to know she's living-- what exactly does this have to do with the point you're trying to make? homophobes think, eat, and breathe. racists, eat, think, and breathe. i could go on! She doesn’t deserve even a fraction of this harassment. are you sure...?? not even.... 1/100th of it? god, i can't believe a transphobe would actually DESERVE harassment!! the audacity!!! you should never be harassed for holding an opinion that harms someone's life! (extreme sarcasm, if you couldn't tell!) I get it, her beliefs are upsetting to you. thank you for stating the obvious! why wouldn't we be upset with a transphobe? Obviously I don’t agree with her beliefs, I think transphobia is nasty. i mean if my friend was a transphobe i'd fucking run from them but u do u boo BUT that doesn’t make her a bad person. You hear me? YOUR BELIEFS DONT DEFINE YOU. i've had to repeat something along the lines of this statement many times but i'll say it again: if your beliefs harm other people, then that's all people will define you with. Mewlin is a sweet, kind, supportive person with some controversial beliefs. some....? controversial beliefs? transphobia isn't even controversial ur either a terrible person or ur not. I’m not saying you have to love her, you can hate her with every ounce of your being, but keep it to your damn self! if u love her, keep it to your damn self! look what you've done by posting this. you've prompted a response from myself & many others. I don’t expect trans people to be all buddy buddy with her, or even cis people. But you have no right to dehumanize her the way you’ve been. i mean..... isn't she dehumanizing trans people by saying they're invalid & wrong....... :0c When she had her moments of saying nasty things, SHE DIDN’T KNOW BETTER. When she was called out, she stopped! did she really? Doesn’t erase what she said but it doesn’t mean she had bad intentions. i distinctly remember her defending her use of the word (tw!!) tr*p so like. ok You guys are so out to get her that you don’t realize she’s a person too. A person with emotions and a life to live. when are u going to stop using the "shes a person!!!" argument... zzzzzzz How do you think she feels reading about you all calling her disgusting and telling her she has no rights to this or that or even at all? i would hope she feels regret for her transphobic actions and that's all. Mewlin is truly a sweet, generous person. She gives people things out of the kindness of her heart. She’s gifted me a kalon and some edits, not to clear her name or to prove anything, but because she wanted to. what point are you trying to prove??? this is like saying a bully is a good person bc they're nice to their friends?? Have you ever considered that maybe her pfp on discord is that pride icon jish made because she wants to express her support?? okay... and? someone who's bi (assuming she's using the bi pride one) can still be transphobic lmao. Sure, she’s had her moments, but maybe she’s getting better. if she's getting better, i'd like to personally hear from her & not one of her friends. Maybe the pride icon is her way of trying to open up a little bit, and hey, she knows I’m a genderfluid lesbian and she’s never said a word to me about it. good for u!! must be because you're friends w her. she must be desperate to hold onto the few people who manage to ignore her bigoted opinions! Grow the fuck up and learn to either keep your mouth shut or GET OVER IT. Bitching about it on this blog for months is only keeping you angry and upsetting Mewlin more. i'm pretty sure people have the right to defend their identities & like. we would stay quiet if mewlin didn't continue to clown around This is counterproductive!! Yeah, you hate her. Woohoo!! You get a gold star! omg, thank u!!!! Now move on and do something with your life that isn’t obsessing over one person who is MISERABLE because of you. She is getting nasty dms all the time that are really upsetting to her all because you guys think it’s a fun idea to harrass her more. ok i haven't DMed her so i really don't have an opinion on that but., it's not like we're 'harassing' her without being provoked?? all of this drama starts with her & her bigoted statements/actions CS is supposed to be a fun, enjoyable game for everyone. It’s supposed to be a safe space. Lay off already and let her enjoy her safe space like you all get to as well. the problem with the last statement is that we don't get to truly enjoy this 'safe space' if transphobes like her are making trans people uncomfortable, afraid, and upset so like. Ok She’s not hurting anyone! really? she's not hurting anyone? If her existence makes you THAT uncomfortable, fucking block her and go. already have, luv xx I’m over it! I’m done reading the hate she gets on here and getting dms from my upset or even terrified friend because of what people said to/about her. are u trying to get us to sympathize w a transphobe..?? im confused. Imagine if it were you. i mean. if you read the salt blog last year it Was me so uhhhhh. what's your point?? i know i fucked up but it seems like all mewlin is doing is crying despite causing Imagine if it were your friend. i'm not friends with transphobes so i can't relate! There’s this DBT skill called radical acceptance. It’s where you recognize that it is what it is. You cannot change it so rather than sitting in your misery and spreading it around, simply accept that’s what it is and keep going with your life. Try it, it actually works pretty well. Radically accept that when it comes down to it, you can’t change her. So accept how she is and move on. are u asking people to accept that someone on what's supposed to be a safe space is a transphobe...??? Okay, I’m done rambling now. I’ve said my piece, I’m ready for the hate to come pouring in 👌

with this closing statement: it's 1am and i'm tired so! this is monky brain typing. i really don't have sympathy for mewlin whatsoever so like i really don't care if she gets upset over my response bc it's nowhere near compared to what trans people have to go through so :) my final words are: fuck mewlin and anybody who likes her despite her invalid shitty opinions.

[curly-q-reviews]

FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!!  happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!!  i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!!  move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them.  i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead.  it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content).  and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required!  ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough.  and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!!  lets make our own movies baby!!!!”  and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way.  why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy?  and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so.  Bird Box.  here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry).  this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver???  well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!!  we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story. 

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan.  y’all remember The Happening?  cause i remember The Happening.  i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves.  the PLANTS.  and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck. 

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken.  we basically have the same premise going on here:  unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films).  now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense.  when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside.  makes sense!  thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it.  apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is.  and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue.  i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story.  and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing??  unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do. 

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box.  if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage.  i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something.  the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at.  and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit.  like why cant we have the best of both of these??  something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place.  there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have.  weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward.  bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes. 

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie.  if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you.  the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park.  go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!!  my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #134

“i got detention ‘cuz i made a face; nobody believed me that it’s stuck that way.”

If you were to die today would your life be complete?  No. How good is Coca-Cola?  It's my second-favorite soda. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
  My niece Aubree <3 Do you have a bad temper? 
 No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
  One acquaintance, one old friend off the top of my head. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground and carry you?  Mom when I passed out. If you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you?  Girt probably would, and he's the only one I wouldn't have a problem with visiting. If you were kicked out of your house, would the last person you texted take you in?  I'm sure they would, but it's more realistic I'd live with my dad. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?  Skydive. What fictional place would you most like to go to?  Yo can I go to Azeroth. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?  UHHHHHH.  I'm honestly not quite sure.  But Mark is like super high on the list, if not #1.  I'm not well-informed on a lot of people's accomplishments lajsfdaowe. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?  Hmmmm.  Good question. What is one thing you really want but can’t afford?  Lmao dude I want so many expensive things atm. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?  I almost snorted reading this question because like do you honestly expect something impressive of me.  I... guess I understand Sony Vegas well? What are some of the turning points in your life?  Uhhhh meeting my ex, the divorce, discovering my passion for photography, the breakup, re-uniting with Dad, r e c o v e r y. What’s your cure for hiccups?  NOTHING.  NOTHING WORKS. Don’t you think it’d be cool to see a colossal squid?  FUCKING NOPE THEY ARE SPAWNS OF THE NIGHTMARE REALM. What kind of steak do you prefer?  When I ate meat, I liked medium well. Has anyone ever cheated on their significant other with you?  Yes, allow me to (not) tell you about my stupid 12-year-old self. Are you fascinated by outer space?  *cue the Mark "Space is Cool" mix* Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Never. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first?  Put the soap on. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance?  The night of the breakup.  I had left the house to walk to Jason's, and Mom got in the car and kept driving in front of me to stop me (I was too practically catatonic to run).  Eventually gave up, she drove me home, and when she opened the door, it was my goal to run to the kitchen and slit my throat, but the moment I made the action to run, she pretty much tackled me and I sobbed my lungs out for like 30 minutes.  Fuck that entire night. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say?  "lol but hey thats the world we live in lol well goodnight honey and i hope to speak to u again" from Leslie, "How quaint O:" from Girt, "Its okay :)" from Amanda. Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? What does the comment say?  Sara saying "YEP" when I shared a picture of straight people dating versus lesbians and it was spot-on. Which do you use the most, smiley faces, kisses or hearts?  Faces, probs. Do you like sweet or salty popcorn? Ohhhh both.  But I've gotta side with salty. Have you ever had to put your hand over someone’s mouth to keep them quiet?  Once. Have you ever fed a wild animal?  Yes. The last time you packed, where were you going?  Sara's. Do you believe in astrology?  Definitely not. Do you have an accent?  Not really, but you can pick up a southern tone with some words.  Example, my "your" sounds more like "yer," usually. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?  No. Do you sing in the shower?  I have been a tad bit lately...  I used to never. Are you satisfied with your current camera? My phone camera is SHIT, and I need a new actual camera.  55-200mm lens is broken, the other one's automatic focus setting is and I'm not great at manual focus. Have you ever been in a choir?  In Catholic church, yes. Does it bother you to have dirt on the bottom of your bare feet?  Y E S Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt?  I literally have the flattest ass of any female you'll ever meet. Do you often skip breakfast? Pretty much daily now, yeah.  I'm fasting and don't eat until 11, so breakfast's passed. Last person who drove you somewhere (besides your parents)? Nicole. Who last grabbed your behind?  I'm sure it was Chelsea being her crazy self. Do you eat raw cookie dough?  Yeah dukes up salmonella. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy?  No. Would you survive in prison?  No.  I would find one way or another to kill myself. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?  Rarely, no, no.  I drink usually in celebratory settings to loosen up some and sometimes just because I like the flavor of weak, fruity alcohol.  Smoking's gross, drugs are ew. What was the first cigarette you ever smoked?  Never smoked. Are you scared about the end of the world?  If I'mma be in it, hell yeah.  But it's not something I actively worry about because I don't think it'll happen in my lifetime. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Landmarks.  I don't know street names for shit. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Yes. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?  Never be caught dead in, ever... uhhhh... nothing's coming to mind right now.  Oh wait.  Probably a strip club. Apple Jacks: yay or nay?  YAY. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie?  Yeah, but I don't remember which one. ;-;  It's that one where the girl says her name is Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name."  Totally went over my head as a kid lmao. Have you ever met a guy for coffee?  No, I hate coffee anyway. Who is your pet most attached to in your family?  Teddy's most attached to me, I'm the only one who has any physical contact with Venus and she trusts me, Bentley is bonded with Mom, and Mitsu is still apprehensive of anyone. Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?  The whole world and more. What do you normally do when you’ve had a really bad day?  Cry, have a shit attitude occasionally, a nap is common, talk to Sara, binge my favorite Markiplier videos. When is the next time you will wear a dress?  Hm.  Maybe this summer if I'm confident enough in my body by then lmao. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? 8-BitGaming beating SCP: Containment Breach, a DanAndPhilGAMES video of Golf With Friends, and then an 8-BitRyan vid of the full release of Raft. Do you know anyone from Canada? Yeah, my former roommate's ex. Are thongs sexy? Yeah, but oml I know I couldn't wear one. Did you grow up in a healthy environment? I wouldn't say "healthy," no.  My dad was an alcoholic at the time, parents always fought, and our neighborhood was dangerous. Heavy rain or heatwave? Heavy rain, easily.  Fuck the heat. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do?  I hate these damn questions, but I'd rather die.  My father deserves the longest and happiest life possible without the betrayal of his daughter. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you?  Yeah.  It's a lose-lose situation for me; if I didn't, I'd still die if the world's gonna end. Who knows your most darkest memory or secret?  Jason and Mom should know, and whoever read those specific surveys. Who was the last person you almost went out with?  Meh.  Juan.  We talked and hung out once in... late 2016 I think and I was pretty confused as to how I felt about him.  Meanwhile, he hasn't kept it a secret in the least he's liked me since freshman year.  He's always treated me like a gentleman should, but I know the dark and disgusting parts of him.  Glad I decided against it. The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or The Beatles?  Stones. What does your grandma call you?  Just my name. And what do you call your grandmother?  Grammy. Would you rather have a pool or a hot tub?  Pool. Do you think ‘everything bagels’ are disgusting?  No, but I have to be in the mood for one. Do you find serial killers fascinating?  I wouldn't call them as a whole fascinating, but what has to be going on in their brains to create such grotesque desires and creativities. Do you have high blood pressure?  No. Have you ever pumped gas?  No.  I'm 22 btw lmao. Have your parents ever caught you drinking?  I mean Mom's seen me with a drink when she didn't know I'd gotten one, but I wouldn't call it "caught" since I'm allowed to and I made no effort to make it secretive. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing.  Writing makes my carpal tunnel act up quickly, and besides, typing's way faster. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life. If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now?  Panicking and telling Mom when I overdosed.  I took way more than what I should've taken of a cold medicine I can't even look at now, but I don't think it would've killed me based on how I felt, but then again, the fluids or whatever I got to purge it could've saved me; however, I feel like I would've killed myself through another method if I didn't tell her.  It all led to the psychiatric care I needed. Have you ever taken a course on CPR?  No, but I should. Do you wear a watch? No, I don't even own one. When are you at your most energetic? A little after waking up.  Just gotta get over the initial drowsiness. Do you like playing cards? If so, what's your favorite game?  I don't really enjoy card games.  I liked Magic: The Gathering tho when I was with Jason, but I wasn't that good at it considering it's got like a billion rules.  I'd still play with someone who knew how to, though.  I loooove the PS3 version that was made for it, it was much easier and I found it relaxing.  And I adore the artwork like jfc. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours?  Extremely dark brown, black, dirty blonde but turned to brown. How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you?  I get nervous. Do you like Slim Jims?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS MAMA. Have you ever been in a castle? The Disney World castle, if that counts? Would you rather write a mystery or love story? A love story. Are you afraid of getting shots?  No.  I don't like them, but. What do you currently hear?  "Pour Some Sugar On Me" cover by Ninja Sex Party. What’s one text that you saved?  Two texts from Sara that I love way too much. Have you ever cut your own hair?  No. What’s your favorite color combination? Probably orange and black bc Halloween. Did you share a locker at school? No. Have you ever sang karaoke?  No. How old were you when you went on your first date?  Huh, I dunno.  Just the guy and myself?  Probably dinner with Jason at 16? Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection?  Holy fuck, after my last ear infection?  Strep. Where was your first job?  GameStop. Have you ever been to a night club? No. Do all good things really come to an end?  No, not all. How many people do you trust with your life?  Three. Are you too kind for your own good?  Don't think so. Have you ever held a baby? Yeah. What's your favorite '90s TV show?  The Nanny. What are you favorite book series? Warriors. Favorite superheroes?  I know he's technically an anti-hero, but does Deadpool still count?  If not, uh.  Batman I guess. Would people consider you more immature or mature? Mature, probably. Would you say most of your friends are older or younger than you?  Younger. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? She knows I was insecure as fuck in the beginning.  Now, nope. Who was your best friend in the fifth grade?  Ummm I think Quiata? Do your parents still help you financially?  I don't have a job.  So. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Don't think so. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water?  Essentia.  Thanks for not having it, NC. Are you more prone to overthinking things, or being too impulsive?  Hunny I overthink if I have to pee or not if it's not a massive need. How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? Eh, maybe just a seven thanks to the pill. Have you ever thrown up from cramps?  No. List three people you had a hard time forgiving.  JASON, Dad, Mom multiple times. Who was your first celebrity crush?  Jesse McCartney. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?  The pill.  But it's for cramps. Are you happy with your gender?  Yeah. What gender do you identify as?  Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication?  No. Have you ever used a tampon?  Yeah. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty?  I don't think it's something we ever properly "talked" about, but rather indirectly when Mom taught me how to shave and told me when to start wearing a bra. How many people have you known who were suicidal?  Sadly, I think MOST people I know/most friends. What's your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My nephew is literally the cutest child I have EVER seen. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Actually yes, but most because Mom instructed me to block them when I was younger.  A few are of my own volition. What color is your razor/shaver?  Orange and white. What's your boyfriend/girlfriend's sisters name? She doesn't have any sisters. Do you like the sound of violins?  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Would you be interested in going on a blind date?  Even if I was single, no. If you formed an unhealthy habit, would it be smoking or drinking? Oh boy, idk.  I think an alcohol addiction is more dangerous, but smoking has disgusting consequences. Have you ever bought a video game expansion pack? No. Do you wish YouTube had been around when you were a kid?  Nah.  I wouldn't want the risk of an earlier technology addiction. Do you remember preschool?  Yes. What color(s) was your backpack in high school?  Browns and black.  It was a Ouija board design. What health conditions do you have?  Physically, baaad dry scalp, dry af skin in general, inactive MRSA.  I've been over my mental ones enough. Have you ever collected seashells at the beach?  Yeah. Did you ever take dance lessons?  Yeah, for many years. If you took dance lessons, what was your favorite style of dance?  Modern. Have you ever worn a tutu? No. What was your favorite vacation that you went on as a child?  Disney World. Have you ever had braces?  Yeah. What is your favorite photo editing site? (or what do you use?) I don't use editing sites.  I use Photoshop, Lightroom, or PhotoScape. How many times did you take your driver's test?  I haven't yet.

[cindyfelicia]

Hi, I hope you’re doing well!! I was just wondering if you read comics? If so could you recommend some/ how to start getting into them? I want to start reading them, but it’s so stressful trying to figure out where to start. Also I love you blog!

Hi there! you’re all manners of sweet and kind thank u my advice abt approaching comics is going for solo runs first, this is how I, personally, did it and it’s way easier than jumping in on team books, or worse events bc they tend to be messier and need more bg info and pre-existing knowledge than a comic that focus on just the one character; I also feel it’s good to start with current or at least recent comics, you can always read the old stuff when you’re better acquainted with how comics work and which characters, artists and writers you like (or can tolerate).

actual recs under the cut because this got so long

i was gonna do a whole list of mcu characters’ solos because most people entry point to comics rn is superhero movies, and hmu if you want that, but instead I think I’m gonna rec you some good comics that are either separated enough from main marvel continuity as to be intelligible without extensive info gathering, or I just think they’re great and worth a bit of confusion (part of starting out reading comics is not knowing fully wth is going on sometimes, but stiking with it for some good art or for characters you love -I’m not gonna go so far as to say for good writing bc that’s just not realistic):

if you like yourself some spider-people:- silk (2015) and vol 2 (2016) are my absolute favorites- I’m not very much into spiderman but I read renew your vows  and it’s lovely,  it’s just not a main universe comic it’s an au where things are as, imo, they should be with ye old web slinger, and it’s good for getting your feet wet in the huge pool of spider-man comics;- I love miss jessica drew (spider-woman) but her solo is……. questionable if someone has a good jess drew intro rec pls tell me so I can pass it on, - miles morales has been written badly in more ways than one but I love him so I suffer, I can direct you without scruples only to his novel tho, absolutely lovely and not written by brian michaelbendis lmao- anya corazon is a really good character that marvel loves to forget it has, let’s not make the same mistake;- black widow 2014 and 2016 and bw: the name of the rose are all good comics (I know technically nat isn’t a spider person but like nothing about spider-woman’s powers screams ‘spider’ either so..

for wakanda I’d say good recent start-ups would be: - black panther (2016), - black panther: world of wakanda (w/ a lesbian couple as protag), - and rise of the black panther (ongoing)

some non x-men team books that are easier to approach as a beginner imho:-young avengers vol 2 (vol 1 has its moments if you want to start from the beginning with them but a lot of it involves the civil war arc and stuff.. also some characters die, the art is less good and I want to protect people from 17’s yo cassie lang’s nipples poking through her shirt.. I wish someone had protected me tbh) -I want to rec some Runaways but besides the current run (which is alright) there’s a lot to be said against the writing in most of the rest of them maybe vol 1? to have the origins pinned down-I feel like after a small read through of what exactly the hell was going on with secret wars you could approach A-Force vol 1 and the first half of vol 2 (the second half ties in with civil war II and I’m not touching that mess) and that and avenger world and sometimes secret avengers to me are good avengers books-she hulk 2014 and totally awesome hulk are my greens of choice but if you want an intro to bruce banner idont actually know, sorry-for the asgardians: thor 2014 and it’s follow up mighty thor, thor: god of thunder, angela: asgard’s assassin and its sequel angela: queen of hel, and loki: agent of asgard are my pick of this crop-we also have Fun here at marvel comics on occasion and both patsy walker aka hellcat and squirrel girl are nice in their own way although the latter isn’t really my thing

some follow up on the young avengers:- hawkeye (2013) an absolute fan favorite, good to discover that actually clint barton was a good character it’s that the avengers movies are just bad and hate people with disabilities- a couple of follow-ups to that (x) (x) and the kate bishop solo all pretty nice- america chavez’s solo (I’m just here to suggest gay comics, that’s almost all I read really)

I want to rec Champions to people but frankly it’s just a long series of event interruptions and bullshit interspersed with a couple of nice moments so far, so I’m gonna rec you some kids that are in the champions and have solos I haven’t already mentioned:- kamala khan’s book is probably my favorite ongoing series at marvel right now about any non-mutant char, I cannot say enough good about it,- nova is nice,- miles morales (spider-man) and amadeuscho (totally awesome hulk) are also there but I’ve already mentioned themalso in this house we love and respect elektranatchiosand any other attitude just isn’t tolerated.

on to the x-men, gotta love those guys, you just gotta:- like I said I prefer to tell people to start from recent comics but with the xmen that’s so difficult? it’s been 10+ bad years for them because of the movie rights situation and just marvel being shit in general, so my one recent team book to approach the x-men is prob x-men ‘92? because its based off of the xm animated series so you don’t have to straightaway deal with some mutant plague, eugenics plots, and other catastrophic events, but you can still get to know more of the char we all love - I want to say generation x vol 2, it’s not a good starting point for anything really but I love it so so much I had to mention it even tho it was cancelled and I’m still angry as hell about it.

the solo situation is better. I’m gonna be able to breathe without tasting my own bile while I type this, hurray!-all new wolverine follows laura kinney as she takes up the mantle from logan-iceman, good solid comic abt coming out and ice puns, who doesn’t like bobby really-jean grey, yes she’s a teen girl in this, yes it’s weird and I hate de-aging characters but it’s nice to see her train with different mutants, struggling with the incoming phoenix force and her adult self’s shadow, not really great entry point to jean grey but id read it anyway-if you were into the 00’s xmen movies like me, or at least a normal person’s amount the phoenix recently returned and with her adult!jean grey, it was a good book for me and good if you want to later start reading the actual phoenix saga (which is a lot of material so starting small with this might help) -I love wandamaximoff and despite what they’ve done to the maximoffs in order to bring them into the mcu (was it worth it for that result btw? really?) her recent book was good and I genuinely loved it -storm’s solo is so good, you’re gonna fall in love with an het ship and you’re not gonna regret it either-rogue and gambit, is ongoing and it’s good to get a little acquainted with these characters but mostly it’s about explorign their relationship

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of good x-men content atm but I can’t stop thinking I need to mention that there are ongoing series you could pick up its just.. I hate them.. some started out promising (xmen gold, astonishing xmen), but they’ve not developed in good directions imo, but I still feel they should be mentioned, there’s also a weapon x comic if you want to go for a more bloody kind of book and xmen blue if you like time displaced teens or something? god its bad

jeez this is so so long and guess what? I haven’t even finished yet.. there’s some excellent indie comics out there and with those you really don’t need to worry abt knowing any 30 years old lore or anything you pick them up and they explain themselves like any other normal media out there, I know, be still my heart:

- lumberjanes is my absolute favorite, a little corny, but so much fun and cuteness and if I could go back in time I’d give it to my little bi self so she’d know she’s not alone and anything I feel that ways about has a special place i my heart js

- Motor crush, there really isn’t any other comic book with a black lesbian as protagonist out there that I can think of, good if you’re into motorcycles but if like in my case that threatens to put you to sleep, it also has a sci-fi streak and solid character work, you won’t regret giving it a try

- moonstruck, cute non-white gay werewolves and other mythological creatures are there, I feel this cathers to me specifically every time I open it?? bless

- Hi-Fi fight club or heavy vinyl (they changed the title) if you want a period piece that’s fun and cute and gay (I meant it about me reading only gay comics as you can tell)

- saga, for a space, well ya know.. saga I feel that I can describe it as romeo and juliet in space with added racial commentary except they don’t kill themselves, I have to say not my favorite but you might stick with it for the characters, I sure do

- the wicked + the divine, I feel very much the same about this as I do about saga, only this is mythology based so like.. I sold my soul to it, but please do tread with care there’s a lot of deaths in it and so many of these dead people are gays and/or poc.. I’m none too pleased about it and I’d understand anyone not wanting to pick it up, I mean the deaths are basically in the premises of the books but that doesn’t change the end result..

lastly like I said dc is not my area of expertise but I’ve been following with pleasure both batwoman and green lanterns, and mr miracle was an amazing comic so I thought I’d mention them

[laundryandtaxes]

hey, i hope this isnt too invasive but im struggling w my identity and id like ur persepctive. how did you know u were a butch lesbian and not a transman? im attached to my lesbian identity and my relationship to womanhood but i also often feel dysphoric and want top surgery. how do i reconcile these things that i feel are diametrically opposed? how do i know i am a butch lesbian vs a transmasc nb lesbian person?

Thank you for sending this message and reaching out- I know it can be hard to talk about, I’ve been there myself as someone who disidentified for several years, and I’m glad you reached out to talk about it rather than hold it in. Just to get this out of the way, I don’t think these things are diametrically opposed at all.

The first thing I think you should consider is whether you really consider womanhood an option. I know that sounds a bit silly but so many of us absolutely did not realize it was actually, really, physically possible to grow old as women, to have sex as women, to have friends as women, because so many of us either had no friends like us or, in many cases, had friends like us only to see absolutely all of them stop identifying as women. I think there are a number of forces pushing in the direction of disidentification- it is hard to be a gnc girl and this leads to many of us not having solid senses of self as adults, it is hard to not see anyone who looks like you want to claim community with you specifically as women and this can make you feel like you literally are not real, it is just materially more appealing to be perceived as a non gnc man than a gnc woman and if you can pass 100% of the time it’s an appealing option because it means a better paycheck and safety when you walk down the street and so on, it hurts when your friends literally don’t treat you like they treat other women, and in many queer circles right now it is popular for people to straight up either ask when you’re transitioning or tell you that being a boring cis woman is regressive and not even possible if you see yourself as masculine, and the proper thing to do is to at least change your pronouns and pick up a gender identity that’s not regressive. This is a really confusing mixture of social impulses and material impulses, but I don’t think that we should always see the drive to disidentify as an individual decision with no social input having happened- there are lots of forces that make a lot of us, butch women especially, give up on a womanhood which people keep telling us we are doing wrong. So I would ask yourself what you think there is about women that means you can’t be one- there’s nothing wrong with being a woman who isn’t feminine, or even a woman like myself who primarily sees herself as a masculine person, and I think perhaps more now than ever we all need to at least be told that this in an option.

The second thing I think you should consider is what those terms mean to you and I think you should understand that none of them have one agreed upon definition. The way that I see myself is absolutely the same as how some people who identify as transmasc see themselves, down to my experiences with dysphoria, and honestly I have had conversations with more than one trans man who’ve told me our experiences and senses of self are more similar than different . I think the idea that you’re obligated to pick a term and then, if you should happen to pick the wrong one, you’re suddenly cut off from any community with women and lesbians is stupid and cruel. I think it is cruel to call straight trans men lesbians en masse but it is undeniable that there have always been and will always be trans men who still see themselves as very connected to women, who see themselves as living a certain kind of lesbian experience, etc- and the drive among those people to retain communities that have brought them up is not nasty male predatory behavior, it’s a desire to keep community with people they see as similar and important to them, and that’s fine. So this whole issue of picking the wrong term and then being shunned by lesbian communities of course has some basis- if you plan to date other lesbians then transition will shorten your options because there will likely be physical changes and social changes that most lesbians are just not going to be comfortable with, whether that is calling you her boyfriend or you growing facial hair, whether you see yourself as living a kind of lesbian experience or not- but when it comes to just retaining friendships and friend circles and not pretending you don’t relate to butch writing anymore, I don’t think that is a predicament you should be facing at all. Culturally, you probably will right now and that’s sad and unfortunate and I think encourages people to draw lines along identity politics rather than who you feel to be your people. But as far as I’m concerned, if lesbians are your people then we’re just you’re people and that’s that, and that space is generally there in some capacity if you want to claim it. But really the primary differences between myself and a “transmasc nb lesbian person” are literally just the terms we pick to describe ourselves (which is minimally important to me personally) and, in some cases, transition itself. To be perfectly clear though, I don’t believe there are hard lines between terms that refer to gender identity anyway- they’re terms that make us comfortable or uncomfortable, but one experience can go by a million names and you never know except by talking to individual people. If you want to call yourself an nb lesbian that’s totally fine, just know that your experiences are shared by lots of women who just call themseves butches and that you can have community there if you want it.

And then, lastly, I don’t think transition (social or physical) is a worst case scenario at all, or something you should see as a last ditch effort. It will come with its own set of challenges but honestly you’ve already faced many of those challenges as a gnc woman, and the others you should hopefully find communities of other people to help you out. In some communities, you will certainly be pushed away if you start seeing yourself as trans in some way due to concerns about you suddenly becoming a totally different person who wants to infiltrate women’s spaces. I think that’s stupid and, ironically, transphobic in its implication than transition will somehow make you a worse person than before. But in many communities, you will absolutely not be pushed away and I don’t think you should be. This is a matter of your comfort and your health, and I hope the women around you respect that.

This got long, sorry, but I wanted to give you a full answer because I’ve been there myself and didn’t call myself a woman for several years (I know almost no butches who didn’t disidentify at some point, including some who either transitioned and then stopped or are just living stealth as men still while reidentifying because that’s the cleanest option for them) and I think this sentiment is really common among us for right now, but really all I needed to read and respond to is “im attached to my lesbian identity and my relationship to womanhood” because that’s it, then! No matter what you call yourself I’ll consider you a sister or sibling of mine in some capacity, but I want to stress that there is nothing about you that is not true or cannot be true of at least some women, and if you want space here, which you just told me, it is here for you whether you’re dysphoric or end up choosing top surgery or whatever. If you know that your people are here then I’m quite happy to have you as one of us, whatever that means to you and whatever makes that easier for you. I honestly get the feeling that, like many of us, you are asking for permission to hold space with other women and other lesbians, and you absolutely have it. Much love your way, and keep in touch somehow!

[misterbitches]

Im not intelligent at all. In the conventional sense. The ramblings of a girl who just has sooo much going in in her head it's constant. But im not a genius. Or that confusing.

It just sounds like I am bc fandoms have this issue where they can JUSTSO point out the issues in soletiing. They can pick and prod and go oh problematic! But then you go to name the problems and the difficulties within society like for ex: the idea of representation in general. Salivating over it. How fucking sad that is. How we are trained to accept it. So in a BL and also RACE in the bl genre they exploit viewers naivete both domestically and internationally. Ive seen tons of people liken being asian to being a person of color. However, in their predominantly homogenous society (or intentionally publically homogenous society), they are not "poc" (also name the of color; i dont use bipoc idc if u do but it's called being asian guys cos yall aint talkin about black ppl lmao)

They as humans seeing other humans who look like them everywhere, engage with the world differently than an american in asia or asians living outside of their home country (like bae doo nanwhen she worksnin the US is not the same as the bae doo nanworking on a korean program) I dont complain about it in everything i see bc ppl say it ALL THE TIME. but it is NOT the same. Being a person of color is very distinctly an american concept. This is all stuff people will get to know on their own if they choose to dig more.

I do my best to underline what my ugly little eyes process. How i figure things out as a black female american artist too! Im hard on shit cos i should be. I take it seriously. And even if i dont take it seriously bc THEY dont then thats their problem.

I know this is a complaint that I am not alone in. I know it's the internet. I just don't get how people can write really heavy analysis but they refuse to actually probe the underlying issues. Not everyone is me, or like my friends, but if there's way fewer people talking about this stuff it seems absolutely glaring when theres few people engaging in the way i do. It seems like im the glitch but I am thinking just as much just differently.

I really loved where your eyes linger but there was little deep class analysis. I remember few convos a bout it. I know a lot about korea (sigh being a black ex kpop fan lol mess) and i love the history but all ofnit matters! Korea's relation to labor!

People bringing up thai actors snd actresses leaving the industry and doing acting as something quick. As an artist~ who went to film school with insanely wealthy ppl and isnin tons of debt you have to understand how shitty that is. People have monetary access and they just fucking do whatever just because they want to. Meanwhile you have young people being coerced into this bullshit mainstream life to LITERALY just make money bc they dont come from a rich background. The wealth gap in thailand is BAD, theres a dictatorship, they had a fucking coup. The governments like here do not respect their people. Their marginalized groups. Trans thai women, black thai ppl, poor thai ppl. And it LITERALLY CANNOT DO ANYTHING EFFECTIVELY IN CAPITALISM. No nothing can be perfect but if it's going into our eyeballs and we can view the worlld critically then why the fuck not!???

I dont say the things i see are wrong always. I reply when i think i need to. I try and engage with others but not to kuch avail. I just want to rb stuff and tdhink lajfhhdjwhjej.

But like yea theres a lot of just wrong or misguided stuff. A lot of the times it is just historical inaccuracy in framing or idk. A refusal to think outside the box. I dont care. Theres more to life than just sort of looking and not thinking especially for othrr artists.

Idk im sorry. I dont see how i can change how i view things. I really wish people would expand their palettes too and go deeper into other means of art from places! Things not in the mainstream! Theres a lot of good thai artists and a lot of them critical as fuck about their country as they should be. Authority, austerity, patriarchy, capital, racism etc like that is central to a power thats interested in growing gains and fiscal and social power. Theres rly radical or left leaning etc ppl out there in the world and these countries in these communities. So they exist. No people in these countries dont have NO clue whats going on. Cultural relativism is alsos something people should understand. I had a good talk with ppl on here a while ago about that. Talking about shit, critiquing, but being respectful to a group. Part of thay is realizing these groups CLEARLY know their own issues and all our cultures share the same goal. Guess what it is. It rhymes with acquiring wealth. Money means you hurt people. In the post, we talked about use of "wife" and "husband" which is a stupid joke that has been "explained" a billion times and yet the explanations still dont seem to answer or justify a minor problem (it's very funny to me that a language that doesnt have gendered pronouns is now very specific about two men. Hmmm wonder why. It is annoying.)

So im not the only person on the planet doing this. Or the few ppl ive seen that do. Im not new my thoughts arent new. Ive gotten to see another side to a culture i knew not much about and that means i can put the context of my beliefs and life and try and understand thheirs. For ex i learned from ITSAY because of a sign that said 'french food' that they were the only country to not be colonized back then. Do you know how integral that history is to their region? That was an interesting detail (i didnt finish itsay bc ihad a lot going on and i was rly upset that i would see hownrich they are and i hate that.)

Anyways thats my complaint. It used to feel like a sting of rejection. I left online for months in 2019, i started organizing more, joined a union, trying to do some panther work shit like that. I learned a lot in those months and it changed my life! But when I came back, I felt so isolated. It wasnt my true friends tho sometimes theyre ANNOYINGGGGG (love u) but it was me being like "if we are going to complain guys then lets put our money where our mouth is" lets be fucking serious about it then. No say it with your chest dude. It isnt difficult. Go with the fucking flow, talk about it, critique it, think. You can still fucking like itnor love it.

I am BLACK ok and i love rap. I am a black woman. I will continue to clown black men that cant seem to not clown themselves and listen. No i wont support monetarily: drake is a creep and i hate him but i bump that niggas song. Thats fucking LIFE. I got so sick of hiding myself and it became clear that it wasnt that i wasntthinking well or hard enough. They just didnt like that i said we need to commit class suicide and inspect out middle class sensibilities and middle class wealth hoarding (google it) if thats what we engaged with. Every part of you, antagonize it. I still have my privileges; class, skin color, even my father being a nigerian immigrant, me being cis, im not str8 but not a lesbian and those are differences.

Insecurities in general but some shallow thoughts (?) on discussion in "fandom" space. FYI, this will most likely stay the same. I tend to stay in my own bubble socially IE me and my friends are similar in our views. During this awful year while running my union's account, im surrounded by like minds. Me and my friends? We changed together. We grew up and saw what we didnt like and what we want. We do our best.And i CHOOSE my life to be that way bc it should be. There is no solution. I dont believe in solutions because the solution is to abolish capital or just divest. Abolishing capital and labor are a huge one and i will die before that happens (but so help me as long as im alive? Black women to FREEDOMMMM is my motto!) so making your own path in life is the best thing an artist can do IN MY OPINION.

However with technology and stuff this puts another layer onto things. Tech, social media, this shit....it THRIIIIIIIVESSSSSSS off of conflict and shallow readings of the world. We are literally primed for it. Engagement in bites. Impossible for me with my brain; i got used to it and i paid for it by limiting my scope. Not being encouraged to THINK AND READ before just speaking

(For ex i am in iww, i helped form a branch here. It is a radical union. Unionism is imprative to me-if ur interested u should read up on some. Look up peter cole! Google inthesetimes Ilwu. Gives you some understanding. Ive always been progressive and now i am....very left idk ic ant label myself. But even in my progrssiveness i had the gall to tell my white friend, whoa has her privileges but i had mine with our class disparity, that we dont need unions, i have WORKED retail. Ive done barista work for sonoing and i do gig work. So i wasnt out of touch. I had been stiffed even with a shoot i was working on by rich kids. So i had a frame of reference . But i didnt know what the FUCKa union was and why it is imperative. Then learning about anarcho syndicalism and all these other things. It changed my fucking life but two years earlier i was this idiot spouting shit like that making one of my best friends fucking upset. We DO AND CAN CHANGE. Think!!!!)

So were i a creator for tv id just constantly try and push the buttons if i need big money. Make them sell into me (thank you sonic youth!) theres Endless possibilities guys which means theres SO MUCH TK EXPLORE!!!! When i wanna have fun with it i just have fun. When i want to think i do. I dont understand why we are so dedicated to upholding things and doing mental gymnastics to end up in a space you dont need mental gymnastics for. What about these critiques makes you uncomfortable? Saying we're all part of the problem as spectators? Im sorry but we will always be. Thats LIFE. God fuck. Fuck me. I feel so fucking worthless and stupid sometimes. I know I am not. I know i am talented and intelligent. I know my friends and family. I know how to approach ppl. I know how to tell people if they are rich but want to be progressive whatsup. I choose how i live part of that is being ok to say what i want.

Ironically consrrvatives say this shit alot. But they arent ever alone bc their ideology is default. But yea it does feel shitty. It even feels shitty when ur in left circles but people STILL dont even wanna do that. These perspectives really arent ss many as they should be. I dont want to feel so alone with it. I know there are more. I just love art and the world so fucking much, endless possibility. Endless pain but endless good.