#anyways if u see me being here being insane on main it’s because i’m having another confrontation with my fear of death
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CW: vent post / health issues & death mention
dear god i need this doctors appointment over with already. the suspense and anxiety are literally keeping me from getting anything else done. how is anything else on earth supposed to matter when in a few days i may receive news that my life expectancy just got cut down
#cw vent#cw health issues#cw death mention#death mention#vent#vent post#Seven’s Public Diary#okay. deep breath. i’m getting ahead of myself here. it’s probably not that bad. i’m probably gonna be okay#i just really don’t want to die young. i haven’t even lived my life yet like hoooold on there internal organs#don’t shut down yet i still need u guys!!! we’ve still got a life to go live!!!#it’s gonna be okay. they’re gonna be okay. i’m gonna be okay. there is still time.#i really don’t need to be freaking out about it. i’m just as likely to die in a car crash on the way to the hospital before i even find out#we could all die at literally any moment. no point in freaking out if my life expectancy gets calculated to be a little shorter#i just hope. that it’s only a little. if any shorter at all.#anyways if u see me being here being insane on main it’s because i’m having another confrontation with my fear of death#don’t worry about it#i hate to be depressing on main but i can’t bring myself to bother anyone with it so i shall overshare on my blog once again#which is totally fine cause no one reads these anyways#*looks around suspiciousy*#…right?
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i’m actually so obsessed with your bouncer!ellie.. we need a fic immediately 🤭 -🪐
taste of lust
SETTING : modern au
WC : 5011
WARNINGS : sexual harassment ( nothing graphic ) ( but reader is sort of implied to have trauma related to it , nothing stated explicitly tho ) , bouncer!ellie x bottlegirl!reader , idk shit about clubs so like some stuff might be insanely inaccurate but i did my best to research ( sorry in advance ) , dash of dealer!ellie bc who doesn’t love her , dom!ellie , sub!reader , teasing , overstimulation if u squint , ellie calls u pretty girl & princess , readers first time with a strap , ellie refers to her strap as her cock , i’m not fluent in english yet so there might be mistakes , not beta read
A / N : hello everyoneeee !!! i know this took FOREVER to finish and i’m so sorry about that .. i’ve been super super busy and this fic was so long omg T_T there was a point i started over completely bc i didn’t like the direction it was heading to .. this fanfic shit gets serious truly . in case u missed the warning there is sexual harassment in this fic and reader is implied to have trauma related to it . putting this here again to make sure u guys see it . anyway , i took so long to post this and so much stuff happened !! but alas , it is here , the bottlegirl!reader and bouncer!ellie fic !! this is my fav fic of mine so far so i hope u guys enjoy reading this as much as i liked writing it <3 ( and yes there will be a part two !! )
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
being a bottle girl wasn’t exactly the job of your dreams. having to deal with creepy rich men every friday and saturday night was definitely not something you enjoyed doing, but that was what paid the bills and allowed you to live a rather comfy lifestyle for a college student. the bad part no one tells you about going to a top college on a full-ride scholarship is that a lot of the students are rich kids who most definitely cheated their way through high school, who live in nice apartments paid for by their mommy and daddy, who use birkins and other designer brand bags as their school bags, who would never be caught dead eating at the cafeteria. of course, you felt out of place. you weren’t exactly poor, but your family definitely could never afford that kind of lifestyle.
you’re pretty. extremely pretty. and you knew you could use that to your advantage. so when you saw a new club in the city that was looking for bottle girls you immediately knew you had to apply. sure, you had to deal with a couple creepy customers every night and sometimes even had to remind them they’re not allowed to touch you, which was annoying. you also hated being seen as an object, and you knew that’s exactly how these men saw you, and what was even worse was those very unsettling “you remind me of my daughter” comments from older men since you were so young. but the money was the main thing you needed, and you were able to put up with all this because of the pay. although the salary itself is just enough to survive, most of your earnings were in tips, and you made good tips. with a little bit of flirting and pretending you were really into customers, you scored lots of tips in the hundreds and sometimes even thousands. that wasn’t really enough for you to be able to afford luxury items whenever you wanted, but you were able to treat yourself every once in a while and that was enough for you.
you and your coworker ellie are the only college students that worked at that club. she wasn’t a bottle girl, however, she was a bouncer. during busy nights the bouncers typically took turns being at the door, and the rest would be inside the club making sure everything was fine. she didn’t mind being inside, it meant she could steal glances at you. truth was, she was into you, and it was obvious. but you took it as her just wanting to get a reaction out of you. that’s what it seemed like. but you can’t lie, whenever she wasn’t looking, you’d stare back as discreetly as you could.
she was a little possessive over you, which you weren’t really aware of. whenever she saw you flirting with customers, she couldn’t deny she felt a little jealous. she of course knew you were just trying to get more tips. regardless, she still couldn’t stand seeing the way you twirled your hair, spoke in that sweet and flirty tone, and even sometimes gave them compliments, and the fact it wasn’t towards her. she wanted it to be her, and her only. she wanted you to be hers. but she never did anything aside from flirt with you a little every once in a while, because she was scared she’d make you uncomfortable.
ellie. where does one even begin to describe her? her strong arms, her short auburn hair she styled as a mullet or put in a half bun when she felt a little lazier, her mesmerizing green eyes. from the moment you laid eyes on her you found her extremely attractive, but you were too shy and didn’t know how to approach her. what’s funny is this is the total opposite of the character you put up for your customers, an extroverted, flirty girl. the thing with you is, you can flirt with people, but only when you’re not attracted to them. when you are, such as in cases like these, the main thing you do is avoid avoid avoid. you rarely had the opportunity to interact with each other, but when you did, you always felt she was trying to subtly flirt with you. it was the kind of flirting where it was hard to tell wether she was flirting with you or just being nice, so you simply took it as being nice because you didn’t think there was any possibility she could be into you. she was just out of your league. even if it was flirting, you didn’t know if she had any other intentions. so you decided to play it safe.
that night was different from the others. your boss informed you that there’d be a bachelor party tonight and surprise surprise, you’d be serving them. the thing about bachelor parties is they’re very demanding and their tips can vary a lot. and demanding in your vocabulary is basically a synonym for entitled. they’ll insist you sit down, have a drink with them, maybe even try to grope you or something. you were not happy about having to deal with them tonight, but your boss told you they were short-staffed tonight, so you’d simply have to suck it up.
the moment the group of about 15 men came in, ellie sensed something was wrong. she rejected about half of them at the entrance before being informed by her supervisor that it was a bachelor party. she didn’t really care. she knew they were up to no good.
“i really don’t think we should let ‘em in.” she crossed her arms.
“any good reason?” he asked, annoyed.
“something just feels.. off,” she whispered, “i dunno. feel like they’re up to no good.”
“i don’t pay you to do ‘vibe checks’ on people.”
“i still don’t think we should let ‘em in. feels like they have bad intentions. have you seen how they’ve been eyeing the rest of the female staff?”
“big deal, this is a night club,” he brushed her off. “that’s how men look at women in nightclubs, williams. suck it up.”
“that still doesn’t-“
“do you want to keep your job or not?” he snapped.
she sighed and rolled her eyes, defeated, and hesitantly let the group in. her eyes were glued on them until they sat down at a table, the feeling in her stomach worsening when she realized you’d be dealing with them. it was one thing for any of the other girls to have to deal with them, but for some reason, she found herself way more worried about you. you were newer to the job and a little younger than the other girls. she couldn’t bear the thought of someone possibly harming you, or taking advantage of you, or anything like that. she felt this strange desire to protect you, something she hadn’t really felt towards anyone before. she felt this way toward you, yet she barely knew anything about you.
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
tonight was going to be a long night. the moment those men sat down, you could immediately tell. you could tell by their piercing gazes, which you swore you could physically feel even though you weren’t looking at them, that you’d have to remind them several times they can look but not touch. you heard them whispering stuff to each other while looking at you and then laughing and hitting each other as if they were a group of teenagers. you took a deep breath, put on a smile, and finally went over to their table.
“hey boys,” you greeted with a flirty tone, “anything i can get you guys today?”
“yeah, a piece of that ass.” one of them said, while the rest laughed.
you faked a giggle, trying to do your best to handle this professionally, as you would with all the other annoying customers.
“anyway,” you continued, “do you guys have anything in mind? if not, you can take a look at the stuff we have over there at the bar.” you said, while pointing at the bar.
“we’ll need a moment, babygirl.” one of them replied, holding out his credit card.
you nodded, took the card, and quickly walked away. you absolutely hated that nickname. before you took this job, you didn’t really mind it. but when you started getting called it by basically every single customer you eventually grew to hate it. if you hadn’t been working, you at the very least would’ve given them a death stare or contemplated telling them off (even though you knew you’d never have the balls to do anything of the sort.)
after a couple of minutes, one of them whistled at you to get your attention. strike two. another thing you very much hated. now you were even being treated like an animal. who the hell do they think they are?
you walked over to them and plastered a fake smile on your face and asked if they were ready.
“we just wanted to know what you recommend. i’m sure you drink lots since, you know, you work here.”
some of them chuckled, and you didn’t really get what was funny. but you decided to not start anything and just answered the question.
“well, we have lots of options,” you responded, “we have many of the classics you can find anywhere else, and we also have some that are less common. we just got the louis xiii cognac which is very hard to find, so i’d recommend that one.”
“yeah? are you just saying that ‘cause it’s the most expensive?”
“if you want less pricey options, we have those too.” you replied, avoiding the question. of course you were suggesting it because it was the most expensive. that’s kinda your job. you’re supposed to make money.
“we can afford it.” one of them said.
“yeah, bring us that one.” another chimed in.
you smiled and nodded, walking away. gosh, you felt them draining any energy you had every second you spent near them. you carefully took the bottle and put it on your tray, and grabbed a few glasses and put them with the bottle. you made your way over to their table, placing their glasses in front of them one by one, and although you weren’t looking at any of them, you knew they all had their eyes glued on you. you tried your hardest to pour their drinks quickly enough so you could just get out of there, but not too quickly that they’ll notice. unfortunately for you, they caught onto what you were doing.
“why’re you pouring so fast, babygirl? you in a hurry?”
tonight was going to be a long night.
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
ellie couldn’t wait for her turn at the door to be over. she made sure to peek inside every chance she had, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t eyeing you. she couldn’t help it. she couldn’t stop looking at how the black shorts and black baby tee you wore hugged your body and showed off your figure, and she had never been more grateful for the existence of the uniform. but above looking at you because of how attractive you were, she wanted to make sure you were safe. she had dealt with lots of men like them before, and she wouldn’t hesitate to kick them out if things escalated even the slightest bit.
after a while, her supervisor dismissed her and told her to stay inside to make sure nobody was causing any trouble. of course, she went over to the area you were, since there was no one watching over that area and because you were there.
“why’re you pouring so fast, babygirl? you in a rush?” she overheard one of the men speaking to you, with a sort of entitled tone. if she hadn’t been paying attention before, she definitely was now. with the way they were acting, it seemed like they didn’t notice she was there. you were clearly uncomfortable, but tried to play it off, you didn’t want to cause trouble or provoke them. she watched closely as they kept offering you to sit down and drink with them, not listening to you no matter how many times you politely told them you’re not allowed. telling you to “just have one drink, it’s fine” and “no one will know” and they “won't tell your boss.” but your boss was not the only concern. the concern was you. you didn’t know these men, you didn’t know what they could do.
but suddenly, one of the guys sitting on the edge of the seat pulled you in by the hip and forcibly sat you down. in that moment, ellie immediately went over to the table and knew she had to step in.
“sir, you’re not allowed to put your hands on the employees. i’m gonna have to ask you and the rest of your party to step outside.” she said in a stern tone.
“she willingly sat down with us,” one of them lied, “she just wanted to have a drink. nothin’ wrong with tha-“
“i saw what happened. no point in lying. now please step outside before i have you forcibly removed from the premises.”
“yeah?” he stood up to face her. “you’re just a woman. what’re you gonna do? you can’t get all of us out of here.”
“sir, back down.” she warned.
“or what?”
she didn’t respond. instead, she punched him in the face, breaking his nose. a few of his friends stood up, but before they could do anything, some of the security had already gone over to the scene and stopped them, escorting them out as ellie went with you to the break room.
“you alright?” she asked, seeing how shaken up you were.
“i’m, uh, i’m fine. don’t worry.” you responded, sitting down on the couch, still uneasy from the experience. you hated people touching you without your consent, even something that was sort of minor like this. you were already uncomfortable, and this just made it even worse. you didn’t notice ellie had sat down next to you until she wrapped her arm around you and you melted in her embrace. you felt a little embarrassed at how comfortable you felt with a girl you’ve only had small talk with prior, but you were able to push that feeling away because in that moment, you didn’t care. the fact she hadn’t judged you and said “it’s part of the job” or something along those lines, let alone saying you were overreacting was enough to tell you that you could trust her.
“do you, uh, want me to drive you home?” she broke the silence.
“i can’t. i have to finish this shift.” you mumbled. “plus, my roommate has someone over tonight. i can’t go home right now.”
“then, if you want, we can go to my place,” she suggested, quickly adding on “but just so you don’t have to stay in this environment, i’m not trying to be creepy i promise,” because the last thing she wanted was for you to take it the wrong way and be uncomfortable.
“thanks, but, i still have to go back out there and finish my shift.”
she was a little sad. if it was up to her, she’d make you quit and happily support you. she made a lot of money for a college student, between working as a bouncer and dealing weed on the side. she had more than enough to support the both of you, but she’d never talk about anything of the sort out loud.
“i can speak to management for you,” she said, “i’m sure they’ll understand.”
you accepted hesitantly, the voice in the back of your mind telling you you’d just end up fired. but that didn’t matter to you in the moment. you had to get out of there. you couldn’t stand it anymore.
ellie guided you through the back door, making sure you wouldn’t have to face those men again, holding you by the wrist with just enough strength to make sure she wouldn’t let you go easily but not too hard so she wouldn’t make you uncomfortable. she opened her car door for you, waiting a couple seconds for you to get settled in in case you needed her help for whatever reason.
the car ride was short and silent. it wasn’t the awkward kind of silence, more so the kind of silence when there’s nothing to say. it was a comforting silence, a drastic contrast from the loud music in the club that had been blasting in your ears for the past 2 or so hours. you were looking out the window, watching the city lights and buildings as you passed them. ellie would be lying if she said she didn’t steal a few glances at you when you were looking away. she couldn’t help it, you were just so mesmerizingly beautiful she couldn’t help but look at you any chance she could.
when you finally arrived at her place, you were surprised to see she had a house and not an apartment. it wasn’t a big house, but it seemed like it could house about 3 people. you were about to ask about her roommates, but almost as if she read your mind, she said;
“sorry about the mess, i uh, i live alone, so. don’t usually have people over either.”
“it’s fine,” you shook your head, “i’m just grateful you let me come here.”
she noticed you sounded like you were in a better mood. “you feeling a little better now?”
you nodded. “yeah. i guess i just needed to get out of there.” you bit your lip in worry. “but now i don’t know what to do. i’m pretty sure i’ll end up getting fired after leaving like that.”
“after what happened to you? nah. it’s understandable,”
“are you sure? i-i mean, am i not supposed to let them know beforehand-“
“you’ll be fine, don’t worry.” she reassured you. “you’re sort of new, aren’t you?”
“not really. i’ve been working there for a couple months.”
“so you’re new. got it.”
you playfully rolled your eyes. “sure, let’s say that.”
she smiled. “anyway, you wanna do anything? or do you just wanna rest?”
“i guess we could watch a movie or something,” you suggested, “if you want, of course.” you were surprised at how bold you were. it wasn’t anything too bold, sure, but that’s only true for everyone else. for you, something like that, which others might think is minor, is sort of a big deal. not only were you at this girl’s house, but suggesting to watch a movie as well. you were a bit scared that might’ve been too much.
“yeah, sure,” she replied, “you into horror?”
“uhh.. not really..” you admitted.
“it’s fine, we can just watch something else.”
“no, no, it’s fine!” you insisted. it was, in fact, not fine. especially at this time, horror was not your thing. it wasn’t a huge fear of yours or anything, but you were a little embarrassed of the fact you still got scared while watching them, sometimes even got nightmares. but no way you’d admit that to her right there. you felt you were already being too much of a burden on her, so you’d just suck it up to not bother her any further.
a few moments later, you were both on her couch watching some random horror movie she had picked out. you didn’t even know what was going on in the plot, you were way too scared. you’d argue this was one of the scariest movies, scratch that, media in general you’ve ever seen. where did she even find this sort of stuff? ellie was full of surprises indeed.
you didn’t notice you had snuggled up to her, your head laying on her chest, from the fear. once you realized, your face turned red as you pulled away in embarrassment and mumbled some apologies as you moved away. to your surprise, she lightly tightened her grip of her arm she had wrapped around you (which you only now noticed as well), telling you with no need for words that it was fine, and you could stay that way. you didn’t really know how to react to that, but you stayed. something about her was so comforting. you barely knew her, yet you trusted her as if you’d known her all your life. it was a strange feeling. you’d been on multiple dates with the same person many times before yet you still felt more of a connection with your coworker who you had only spoken to a handful of times beforehand. you weren’t even paying attention to the movie anymore. your mind was too busy paying attention to the thoughts racing in your head to process what was going on in the screen about a meter in front of you. you had lots of questions, and the more that popped up in your head, the more your heartbeat sped up.
ellie could feel something was wrong. she lightly lifted up your chin to make you face her, locking eyes with you. she asked if it was because of what happened earlier. you felt like you should look away, but you couldn’t. something about her was just so mesmerizing. you lightly nodded, not wanting to admit all the thoughts in your mind at that moment. you looked into each other's eyes for a couple seconds, before she planted a soft kiss on your lips. it was the type of kiss that happened almost as a reflex, the type that you have almost no control over. you could feel her try to pull away after realizing what she did, but before she fully pulled away you pressed your lips against hers, pulling her in this time in a deeper kiss.
before you knew it, you were straddling her lap as she placed kisses on your neck, occasionally sucking on it softly and leaving light purple marks on your skin. you hadn’t realized how much it was turning you on until you started lightly rocking your hips back and forth, desperate to get any sort of friction. ellie realized what you were doing, and placed her hands on your waist, almost guiding your movement, causing you to let out a few soft moans and whimpers.
“ellie..” you whined.
“i know, baby, i know.”
she carefully lifted you off her lap and laid you down on the couch, hovering over you. she tugged on the hem of your shorts.
“let’s get these off.” she said, as she undid the button and slipped them off you with ease, revealing your soaked cotton panties. “cute,” she thought to herself.
“i’ve barely touched you n’ you’re already so wet,” she teased, rubbing your clit through the thin cloth causing you to moan softly.
after a moment, you started to whine, tired of her teasing.
“desperate, huh?”
you broke eye contact as you looked away in embarrassment. in the back of your mind, you couldn’t believe everything that was going on. you found it a little embarassing, hooking up with a coworker you had barely spoken to prior. but as you had been doing the whole night, you tried to push those thoughts to the back of your mind and focus on the moment.
“don’t feel ashamed, pretty girl.” she said, noticing you felt a little off. something about her caring but almost demanding tone was turning you on even more.
she carefully pulled your panties to the side, sliding two fingers in, thrusting them at a slower but steady pace. this was better, but it still wasn’t enough. you bucked your hips ever so slightly, to tell her you wanted more.
“you’re gonna have to try a little harder than that, baby,” she said. she knew exactly what you meant, but she wanted to hear you say it. you whined in complaint, hoping she wouldn’t make you say it out loud.
“use your words, princess,” she smirked while locking eyes with you.
“please, ellie..” you begged.
“please what?”
“please, more..”
“good girl,” she said under her breath, speeding up her pace and thrusting her fingers inside you twice as fast as she was before, causing you to moan and whimper louder. soon you started feeling a knot forming in your stomach, making you attempt to grip the couch.
“ellie.. fuck..” you moaned.
“i know, pretty. but you don’t get to cum yet.” she smirked, suddenly pulling her fingers out.
you whined at her words and the sudden emptiness inside you, as ellie softly chuckled at your reaction. she found it so cute. she found pretty much everything about you to be cute.
she stood up, and went to grab something from her closet. it was a bright purple strap, and it was quite big. you weren’t sure it would even fit inside you. you watched as she effortlessly took off her pants and put the harness on, walking back to the couch and positioning herself, the tip right in front of your entrance.
“i want you to cum from my cock.”
she started sliding it along your slit, coating it in your slick, causing you to whine a little, before positioning it once again in front of your entrance and slowly sliding the tip inside you easily.
you were still a little scared since you had never done anything like this before. you’ve gotten fingered before, sure, but this was the first time someone used a strap on you. especially one this big.
“ellie..”
“hm?”
“i’ve never, uh,” you stuttered, “done something like this.”
“never gotten fucked with a strap before, huh?” she said, “i could tell. you seem kinda nervous. but relax, princess, i’ll take care of you.”
the nickname only turned you on more. you didn’t get why you loved it so much. it had never crossed your mind, yet you were now sure it was your favorite pet name ever.
with that, she started slowly sliding it in, looking at your facial expressions to make sure she wasn’t hurting you. surprisingly, you were able to take it all. she started thrusting it at a slow pace, gradually speeding up, but not quite fast yet. she definitely wanted to fuck you way harder and faster, but she wanted you to get used to the feeling first.
after a few thrusts you started to get used to the feeling, and it was amazing. she sped up her pace a little more, gripping your thighs, and this time she was able to locate your sweet spot, and boy was she about to abuse it. she hit it with every thrust, making you twitch and moan at every wave of pleasure.
“good fuckin’ girl,” she praised, “already taking my cock so well.”
“ellie.. please..” you begged, between moans, “faster..”
“yeah? you sure you can handle it, tough girl?”
you nodded, and she immediately sped up. she fucked you a little faster than you expected, and it was a little too much, but the overwhelming pleasure was, at the same time, addicting. the sounds of your moans and whimpers, her groans, and your wet cunt filled the room. soon, that familiar knot in your stomach started forming again, except this time it was much more intense, causing you to try and grip the couch once again. she realized what was going on, and started using her thumb to rub circles on your clit. you started tearing up from the overstimulation which was the littlest bit painful but also overwhelmingly pleasurable.
“i wanna hear you say my name, baby,” she demanded, “i know you’re close.”
and almost on cue, you came all over her cock as you moaned her name, just as she demanded, as she fucked you through your orgasm and finally pulling out with a slight pop.
— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —
it had been about an hour since you finished your.. activity. she insisted on getting a bath started for you, and now there you were on her bed, in one of her t-shirts that was a little big on you, freshly out of the bath. you texted your roommate before getting in the bath to tell her you wouldn’t be coming home tonight, and of course, she didn’t mind that at all.
not only were you on ellie’s bed, but you were cuddling her, trying to sleep. she told you you didn’t have to, and that she just enjoys sleeping with body warmth, but you knew better. maybe it was true, but it sure as hell was not the only reason. but you didn’t mind. you acted stupid and like you bought her story, because truth is, you really wanted to cuddle with her, and you were even thinking of similar excuses if she hadn’t brought it up first.
“you awake?” ellie whispered.
“mhm, sort of.” you replied, in a sleepy voice.
“i just, uh,” she paused for a moment, “i just wanted to know. when will i see you again?”
“on our next shift together.” you joked.
“no, dummy, i mean like this.”
you thought about it for a moment.
“i guess we’ll see,” you responded softly, “i’m pretty sleepy. i think we should talk about this later.”
she seemed satisfied with your response, but she still had the fear you were only saying that to be polite, and you didn’t want anything more or didn’t want this to repeat. of course, she’d respect you if that was the case, although she’d be a little disappointed. but she felt there was something more there, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. you weren’t like any of the other girls she’s hooked up with before. she wasn’t exactly sure what set you apart from them, but she knew there had to be something.
maybe it was just feelings.
but even if it didn’t seem like that was the case because of your shy personality, you wanted something more. just like her.
#arielle writes ୨୧#arielle’s 18+ ୨୧#ellie williams x reader#🪐 anon#ellie williams#the last of us#ellie x reader#the last of us 2#tlou#tlou 2#tlou x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams hcs#ellie williams drabble#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams smut
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3, 8, 10 for pmd ask game :3
HI RUPI!!! :D YAAaay
3. fave partner character? RAAAHH IT'S A TOUGH CHOICE i truly love them all ;v; but if we're going off solely the game's characterization of them instead of my own interpretations, it's gotta be psmd partner!!! just the fact that they're a kiddo already makes me soft, but also the way they're so silly goofy and passionate and ND-coded makes me go feral noises bitebitebite scampering off the walls CRAZY!!! and don't even get me STARTED on their backstory at the end of the game... OAUUGHRRRRRGGHHGGHHHHHHH blows up
8. if you're an artist, how do you draw grovyle? same for dusknoir too. and why? since i haven't shared very many of my drawings of those characters here yet, i will sketch something right meow ^_^
ok i kinda cheated and grabbed a grovyle from my sketchbook but I'M DONE
oh i have to say Why i draw them this way... idk LOL i just draw what looks good to me. though i'd like to note that these drawings aren't to scale, dusknoir would be way bigger if it were up to me, and it Was up to me BUT I STOOPY <3 anyway i do need to draw future trio more, i’d like to refine how i draw them and u can only do that by doodling them endlessly
10. opinion on nuzleaf's character? also were you surprised by that twist? the moment i found out nuzleaf was a father figure i had high hopes because i'm fucking insane about father figures in media, BUT after playing Super i ended up not caring much about him... AT FIRST. NOWADAYS he and partner are my reasons why i would play through that game again !!!! ***also if there is anyone who hasn't played Super yet and wants to stay spoiler-free SKIP THIS NEXT PART
sadly i was spoiled about nuzleaf before playing the game, but seeing his actions leading up to the reveal (my personal favorite being his frequent "outings" and i have a comic idea related to that) was fun. i need to stop yapping soon BUT i also enjoy how his character never feels like it's fully dishonest. even while under yveltal's influence, he takes you in and puts a roof over your head, yes to keep an eye on you bc you’re a threat to his plans, but also bc he still has a good heart deep down. but he also undeniably has darkness within him– it was just amplified by yveltal. his efforts to redeem himself to hero and maintain a relationship with them at the end of the game make his expressions of affection in the main story feel like they were real all along rather than just a facade 🥺
RUPI THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASK seeing it in my inbox helped me get out of bed!!!! sorry these got kinda long tho i swear i’m normal
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what’s ur favorite scenario to dream about with mtsk and death (kou dying, specifically)
YOU. YOU GET ME.
i’m gonna start this off with saying that kou minamoto is literally my favorite character ever so don’t think i’m doing this because i hate him i just think about him way too much and this is where i end up after thinking for too long
i have SO MUCH to say about this but i’m gonna throw it under the cut bc i don’t wanna catch ppl off guard with my insane bullshit
if ur reading this and u get upset it’s ur own fault /hj
alright SO
first off kou definitely should’ve died during the pp arc just for shits and giggles. it would’ve been like a “what the fuck just happened” for every character and the whole fandom and the chaos that would’ve ensued from the death of a major character would’ve been absolutely WILD- like bitch just killed himself. he straight up committed suicide. there’s no way of rephrasing that bc that’s what he did. it would’ve been a plot-shattering moment and really just heartbreaking and awful and aidairo could’ve done so much with it.
for one, mitsuba would’ve been very Not Ok because he would’ve blamed himself for kou dying and he’d definitely try to gaslight himself into believing kou was still alive- that would not work btw he’d just be in insane denial
anyway imma move on from that arc even though i could go into it so much deeper and focus on things that i could see happening just to make the story hella interesting (i’ve been very tempted to write a fic about this so beware)
i think the most likely ways kou would die would either be suicide or being killed by tsukasa. we’ve already seen him attempt to kill himself, thwarted by mitsuba then brushed aside for some reason, and i’m about to do a full ass analysis on why tsukasa should murder our boy :3
reiterating that I LOVE KOU MINAMOTO WITH MY WHOLE HEART HES PERFECT
okay so tsukasa. hes a silly guy. one of his main traits is he loves to fuck with people, right? right yeah whatever get to the point IM WORKING ON IT ok sorry anyway he’s silly right. he thrives off fucking people up as much as possible. since he knows fucking everything i’m gonna assume he knows how important kou is to mitsuba and, given the fact that it’s so easy to fuck with mitsuba, he’d know that messing with kou in some way would make the biggest impact. every way he messes up mitsuba’s (after)life doesn’t emotionally impact him for too long, given the fact that he and kou with it out every time. but what happens when we take out the support system? that’s what we wanna know.
so ofc tsukasa feels all silly goofy and takes out kou just for funzies. mitsuba is absolutely fucking destroyed in every way. he blames himself, duh. this splits off into 2 possible scenarios that i’ve created lol.
possibility one: mitsuba stays in his boundary for god knows how long, refusing to talk to anyone. eventually he goes to shijima, begging for a replacement kou. even if hes fake, it’s better than nothing, right? shijima understood his grief, in a way. so, she gave in. boom. kou copy. the rest was none of her business.
kou copy only knows what shijima knows about him, so let’s go with everything up until the end of the picture perfect arc. he has no idea about anything after, including the aquarium date, the far shore incident, and the supernaturals being banished from the near shore in the first place, and it’s fine that way. …right? well, that means he also doesn’t know that he’s supposed to be dead.
he keeps asking mitsuba when he can leave the boundary and go home, when he can go see senpai, when he can see his brother, and he’s very upset. mitsuba has no idea what to do. he was overjoyed to have his crush best friend back that he didn’t even think of what would happen after… he couldn’t let kou out of the boundary. that was out of the question. keeping kou here would make him miserable and make him hate mitsuba. so at this point they’re stuck in a cycle of shouting matches of wether or not kou is allowed to leave, periods of silence, and occasional truces because they both need someone to keep them sane, and who else can do it but each other?
possibly 2: supernaturals are a thing in this world, so why can’t kou be one too? even though tsukasa is the one who killed kou in the first place, mitsuba begs him to bring kou back, to make kou a supernatural just like mitsuba. mitsuba knows what being a supernatural feels like. he knows that just letting kou go would be so much better for the dumb blonde boy. he knows that kou deserves better than to be forced to live in a world that doesn’t want him anymore. but mitsuba is selfish. so tsukasa makes kou into a supernatural. for funzies, you know? he’d never worked with a human corpse before, so why not try out making one into a supernatural?
the process of making a supernatural is… messy. mitsuba now knows this, as he couldn’t look away from his boyfriend being made into one. it was horrific. i’m not gonna delve into it because i really don’t wanna think about that i’m so sorry my poor baby
just like with mitsuba, tsukasa didn’t have kou’s actual soul to work with, just supernatural parts and kou’s body. it was simply an animated puppet that looked like kou minamoto. “it’s fine,” mitsuba said, “it’s okay, he’s back, that what matters, right?” “it’ll be fine, right minamoto?” and as he looks to kou for support, all he gets in response is a blank look. he realizes, after staring in horror at the jagged scar on kou’s neck, that his vocal chords are absolutely fucked up beyond repair. he’d never hear kou’s voice again.
thanks for reading and i’m so sorry <3
#tw death#tw suicide#tw suicidality#tw suicide attempt#tw murder#tw grief#tw denial#jfc this is a lot of tws#tw corpse#tw dead body#tw mutilation#holy fuck wow#um#that got darker than i thought#tw psychological abuse#tw psychological torture#tw emotional abuse#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#mitsukou#mitsuba sousuke#kou minamoto#tbhk kou#tbhk mitsuba#mtsk#mtsk headcanons#mitsukou headcanon#headcanons
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hey guys i have decided that i will now become a TMAGP account. hashtag. love this new podcast!! as soon as my hands stop swelling I WILL be making RedCanary fan art. I cannot express how much i’m loving this series rn
more below the cut! ! (SPOILERS)
OKAY SO!! episode #1 has thoroughly shaken me to the core. thank you so @sunnyspookss for listening to me yap about it over discord. love u suns!! here are my thoughts on the characters :
Sam - I cannot describe how I feel about this creature. I’m loving them and they’re giving me very… main character vibes (obviously but… anything could change who knows). Currently loving the idea that they wear glasses !!! Def a really fleshed out character (even from just the first episode).
I know Sam SAID that they were working here to ‘get back on [my] feet’ but I feel like there might be something more behind it?
Alice - right off the bat !! I’m loving her. she seems so incredibly sweet and i’m HC-ing her as a trans woman. live laugh love Alice !!! She’s so silly and in some ways reminds me of Tim Stoker ? I think it’s really interesting and I can’t wait to see how her character develops!!
ALSOOO TTHE FACT THAT SHE AND SAM USED TO DATE!??? AUGH. during college too? I feel like this is running a real close parallel to Jon and Georgie.
Gwen <333 - I can totally see some of the Bouchard family line coming in here. At first (a.k.a. the first 10 minutes or so) i didn’t really have any strong opinions and kinda forgot that her last name was bouchard but after the little scene of her and Lena in the office I started to love her even more. The boldness and the gall this woman has makes me want to shake her around like a squeaky toy.
When Lena was like “what do you even want here anyways 😒😒” AND GWEN WENT “your job” I LOST IT. LIKE.
I don’t even know if she and Elias are related but goddamn?!! I’m literally in love.
Lena - She knows something. This woman. this girl. she knows something that I do not know and I do not like it.
Colin - Live Laugh Love Colin!!! He def knows what’s going on!! I have a feeling he’ll be rlly important to the plot and his little end ‘speech’ (more like dialogue but oh well) at the end of the first episode was like??? Major Eye vibes.
RedCanary - I don’t even know where to begin. The insanity? The deleting photo? Canaries should stay above ground? The anger at ArcherK?? The mystery?
I really hope this character comes back but even if they’re a Sarah Baldwin situation that is 110% okay. I love the premise of this person finding something in that box (or maybe just the box in general) that drives them to insanity or drives them to some new information?
Misc. - Ok! Im not sure if the same like… ‘fears’ apply but someone (hi sunny) has said that there might be a new fear system? i think that’s going to be really fun to get into once I listen to the second episode. Secondly !!!! The Magnus Archive being turned into the library of alexandria (not literally but still) is such a cool concept to me. I think it’s very inchresting to think about because
A) as a child i loved researching TLA (the library of alexandria) and B) it makes a whole new timeline- i think?? Or maybe it’s some like alternate dimension or something!!! who knows!! I love it!
The idea of lost knowledge (and that knowledge once being uncovered driving people to insanity) (shoutout redcanary we will remember you!) is such a cool concept in general. the what-ifs and the maybes that can stem from it are so interesting and I can’t wait to see if they expand on that or not!! Either way- i’m loving the podcast so far.
ALSO JON AND MARTIN BEING CHESTER AND NORRIS RESPECTIVELY? DOES THIS MEAN THAT AUGUSTUS IS LIKE. ELIAS OR JONAH???? AUGH THIS PODCAST IS SO GOOD IM LOSING IT
#the magnus universe#magpod#magnus pod#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp vague#tmagp spoilers#tmagp speculation
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Not in the sense of talent or anything but more so that she's 34 and her musical competitor is Olivia Rodrigo 🧍🏾♀️ I for the life of me cannot understand how people got it into their heads that it's Beyoncé when they are catering to two different demographics. More often than not, people who listen to beyonce like that are not listening to Taylor and vice versa. It's more likely to be Olivia Rodrigo because Olivia and Taylor are catering to the same demographic and are making the same kind of music
The thing is that even Taylor knows Olivia is her main competitor 😭 she wouldn’t have sued her for deja vu otherwise. And so many ppl try to say that Olivia’s team gave her credits but I don’t buy it. Taylor (or her team, it doesn’t rlly matter) absolutely asked for them. Like the proof that they have beef is literally right there 💀 she and conan were used to promote fearless tv and then a year-and-a-half later when Conan was asked if he had listened to midnights he said he “hadn’t gotten around to it.” People want to use the excuse that Olivia is trying to form her own brand and distance herself from the mega Swiftie she was acting like in the beginning of her career when their lack of interaction at awards shows is brought up. Also don’t even get me started on the fact that Taylor asked Olivia’s best friend and her boyfriend’s ex to open for her on tour 😭 it obviously wasn’t done with the intention of hurting Olivia but it had to have been tough to see that as a lifelong fan
Idk if you saw the tiktok from that one Canadian marketing graduate but he basically made a video about why Taylor’s brand isn’t gonna be sustainable forever. Not expecting you to watch it because it’s nine minutes long but I’m just gonna put it here anyways:
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLFpn3eQ/
At the beginning of the video he brings up the two categories of pop stars which are 1. The untouchables and 2. The relatables. Taylor falls under the second category meanwhile Beyoncé falls under the first which is just one of the many reasons she is far from being Taylor’s competitor.
Also ppl getting upset that Olivia’s concert isn’t suitable for kids unlike Taylor’s is sending me. Like what did u expect? Olivia is twenty-one years old and not only that but did u not listen to the album before taking your kid to her concert? It’s so obviously too mature for children 💀 she’s had this stereotype since sour came out that she’s for thirteen year olds and that just couldn’t be farther from the truth. Also idk if Taylor’s concerts bring suitable for kids is necessarily a flex on Taylor’s part…
When you remember that Adele is only one year older than Taylor it kinda puts things into perspective… their music is just so different and I’m not talking abt the sound. It’s the maturity aspect of it
The thing about the untouchable vs the relatable is very true. Love her or hate her, Beyoncé definitely has gained this divine like aura over the years. People don't even care about being able to relate to beyonce. She's quite literally worshipped it's insane 😭 whereas Taylor does push this narrative of her being just like the other girls who deal with all the things you do and she's like your best friend who understands you and she wrote this specifically for you
I'm not too versed in the Olivia and Taylor "beef" but I did catch wind of it and I will say it has to suck to basically have a "never meet your idols" moment. As for their shows, Olivia's not being as kid appropriate checks out. Yes I do think both makes music for teenagers and young adults but Olivia's very much gives female rage and teenage angst and not caring about being the dutiful daughter but instead just letting your emotions go wild and not letting yourself be controlled. To me her music is like a teenager who is angry about being a teenager and dealing with teenage bullshit and teenage heartbreak. That makes sense to me because she's 20 and literally living it/just lived it.
And yes ever since someone pointed out the age difference between Taylor and Adele (or lack thereof) it blew my mind 🧍🏾♀️the gap in their music could not be more stark
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HIYAA! It’s me, the new tumblr acc person who asked u abt the text thing on ur own intro post, and i was wanting to ask for some tips on writing?
Ok so hold on let me compliment u first cuz u are actually so amazing!!! i’ve been following ur stuff for a while now (not rlly, since like summer 24 but shh) and honestly ur writing is so stunning and beaand breathtaking and legit made me pull up the dictionary like every two seconds (mostly cuz eng isnt my first language), like if shakespear himself was reborn to this time and age i’m convived he was born as u, cuz ur talent is INSANE?? like AAAAAAAAAAAA
anyway now that i got that out of my system (not rlly, i could write an entire essay on how beautiful and amazing ur writing is) i was hoping to ask for tips on writing? like general stuff yk? also i heard that its good to have a few drafts ready for when u start posting so it wont take long to get content out?
ughh srry for the ramble im stressing😭 also i kinda giggled when u said my blog will def be cute cuz the aesthetic it has rn………. 😀 its far from cute lol😭 i still think its pretty :3
hi cutie! sorry it took me a moment to answer this i've been so busy!!
first of STOP IT bc youre so sweet (& if you've been following me since summer '24 then you've been here the whole time bc i made this account in july!!! <3) the dictionary part ahahaha i get it!!! you're so kind to say such things i appreciate you & im so happy you like my writing!!
dw about rambling i literally don’t stop taking ever. & i believe you that ur blog is SO cute!!!!
i would be happy to share some tips ! i obviously am not the best source bc im not a professional writer and to each their own – but here's a (very long im sorry) list of what i recommend:
in terms of tumblr,
having a 'backlog' of fics in your arsenal is a great thing. i think even a plethora of diferent wips can be a great thing too (there's 11 unfinished wips in my folder rn that may not see the light of day), even if you're a slow writer (like me). that being said, it doesn't have to be that way — sometimes i post things right after finishing them just bc i want to share it!!!
along that vein, i know a lot of my moots here have schedules or structuring to posts. alerting their followers or posting teasers before (i do like to do this often), or scheduling fics to be posted on a certain day/time. i think this is wonderful; though i haven't been able to keep myself to such a routine, and literally just let things rip whenever.
time zone reblogging is a good way to ensure any readers around da globe see your fic! you can figure out some of the main time zones and schedule reblogs of your fics for those times. i sometimes do this too!
create your post draft w/ title/headers/warnings & tags etc beforehand bc it is SUCH a drag to do when you’re about to post a fic!!!
again, people are for the most part very kind here; don't feel like you have to be churning out fics just to keep people's attention. your writing will be wonderful & they will (they WILL. or else i will Get Them) be grateful that you chose to share it!!
in terms of general writing, i actually have so many thoughts on writing and preferences, but i dont want to be insane on main so here's just a few things off the dome—
love your story!! i think people's best works are when they become deeply invested with their own plot/characters. it's why i chose to leave certain characters, because i was no longer loving/enjoying my stories.
withhold information from your readers. i am a huge believer in the theory of omission. this seems to be a bit controversial on here; but i personally am in support of Hemingway's iceberg theory. overwhelming readers with information is boring. let them use their imagination to keep them & yourself from getting burnt out, & allow them to see what they'd like to within those gaps.
write first & edit later. this is something that took me a while to get into the habit of bc i always feel the need to fix things immediately. but it helps the writing process to get out your thoughts and structure first, then fine-comb it after. it saves energy & time!!!
especially in longer fics, avoid logical fallacy — ie., arguments that do not have adequate support. if your characters are fighting and it is for a reason that is not believable (same with a larger scale, like war), then it isn't as realistic nor entertaining to read!!! (i could elaborate but i could write so much on all of this HAH)
USE THE FIVE SENSES. all of them. they are your friend for creating imagery and i use them all the time. this also helps to avoid white room syndrome.
speaking of imagery: make use of both literal and figurative.
literal — obvious & realistic description of anything. ex; describing how black the wings of a raven are. simple& makes a huge difference in world building. figurative — my favorite; words and descriptions that imply certain ideas & need to be interpreted. describing how shadows slither around corners; implying distrust or paranoia, thoughts of serpents, etc. (this is where you have to have faith in your readers — perhaps i put too much faith in them sometimes lmao.)
my favorite way to ensure a cohesive work is to always anchor a motif. i always write with a clear recurring element in my works (could be some device, reference of some sort, words/verbal formula) which appears habitually. in every piece ive written there is at least one motif & usually more (i could cite examples but im not going to rn). it’s my favorite way of conveying emotion & importance. it help sets mood — and ties your whole fic together.
George Orwell has written a lot about never using the passive where you can use the active... this is obviously a preference; i have read countless astounding fics here that write in the passive, but i personally find myself more engaged in active tense. you’re IN the story, not being told of it.
DO NOT USE AI BOTS TO HELP GENERATE YOUR WRITING. ai is incredibly harmful to art; i understand folks who have english not as their native language attempt to use bots to 'polish' their writing, although it is so incredibly obvious when it is used — because computers use patterns. AI CANNOT CREATE, it can only replicate. it can only steal. they use repetitive words, phrases, and structures; all chat GPT fics read, in one way or another, the same; and have a non-human touch which is ingenuine. writers are beautiful and unique because they are different, because we all have a different relationship with english and writing. i often wonder if my translations come out incorrectly because my mother tongue is not english (however i've spoken it basically all my life, so i acknowledge it is different); though i think the charm in authors is their choice in expression. i hope people are confident with themselves, no matter their perceived skill level. i hope they know a robot will take away their intrinsic skill and natural talent. i hope they know it is incredibly obvious when chat bots are used to generate writing. and i see it in this fandom all the fucking time.
writers on writing; ie., some sources that help me:
ray bradbury on: I’ve kept everything I’ve ever cared about since childhood.' or: why personal experience is integral to writing fiction. (1963)
anaïs nin on how the excess of emotion is essential to writing.
ten rules of writing by nietzsche.
vonnegut/kafka: uncertainty is the crucible of creativity. or: the shapes of stories.
writing morally grey characters (character depth)
donna tartt on the writing process: an interview (must watch!!! shes my god)
okay i am DONE yapping. i hope some of this helps & if u have any comments or questions or anything im happy to hear what u think!!
#baby i need an emoji for you!!!#i dont know anything im sorr y#me burning myself while writing this mc im waxing my skis#and yes the wax melted and i put my wrist on it#fuck my life#anon#writing tingz
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hi cel!! was just going through ur 42455 tag and wondering if you’ve been having any Thoughts about them recently .. also. miro in that pic on roope’s ig story- he looked so so good!!
miro my beautiful wife. he did look so good if im remembering the correct photo!!!!!!!! apolocheese as this has been in my ask for Weeks now and i’m finally ready to approach it whole heartedly with my arms wide open …. i am always having thoughts abt Them unfortunately.... cracking my knuckles….. thank u for asking abt my Guys <3 please take a little essay
THE THING IS…. and i’ve touched on this previously…… everything abt 42455 begs you to be like. roope jealousy. easy. him and miro have history and then harls comes in drooling after his boyfriend. of course he’d be rude. but i literally JUUUUST discussed that i don’t actually find roope bitchy. necessarily. like i think he would do so in a chirpy manner (see: him always being like ughh i hate esa esa is a big freak weirdo. and then he sees esa and is like ^-^) that would actually bounce off of harls chirping really well! like theyre actually Pretty similar in the regard imo
and then we also consider THIS second quote here abt the bubble ….. and this opens new doors 4 meee. like what do you mean actually that he got close to miro and roope in the bubble? why did he specifically name miro and roope??????? but anyways . harls even says himself that he normally wouldn’t get to get close to the europeans but that closed in environment Let him do so . and it lets me live in a world of pre established friendship and crushes. and isn’t that stunning. i also think it’s fun that like. harls was a black ace. from my understanding they didn’t really overlap with the team for practices? like they were separate (correct me if i’m wrong) so that can affect the dynamic a lot imo! like we All remember this saad tweet (i am the only person that thinks of this regularly) and how it - along with those harls interviews gushing abt miro - set up a kinda. hero worship to friendship to lovers. but if we consider harls was a black ace during the covid bubble and didn’t have the same access to follow miro on the ice all day. that means they got to know each other like. casually. obviously not Outside the context of hockey because of the environment but closer to that than not. i think u can still get hero worshippy abt it bc harls would’ve been FRESHLY 19. actually turning 19 IN the bubble iirc so literally probably 18 when they met? miro would’ve been freshly 21 and roope 23. which in pro hockey world is Old Enough to be considered Older and Wiser and Cooler. BUT ANYWAYS. yeah enough outside of the context for it to be a Relatively Normal Friendship Plus Some Admiration. like there’s an article where they talk abt how the black aces would hang out with the main rosters guys at dinners and other Activities and pick their brain abt stuff and i can def see harls doing that with miro - and by default roope - but obviously that could and likely would devolve into Normal Conversation as well.
u can also maybe get into some fun stuff that, if u struggle with repositioning roope as not a jealous hater, could help. like we Saw bubble miro (so insane so good). maybe harls was a good luck charm. something like that. etc etc.
i also want to just. placing roope aside maybe for a second. not something i like to do frequently but humor me. if we could take a moment for the dress and such. re:
idk if i have much more profound to say about that but. 3 boygirlfriends who can skate soooo pretty and play such similar games..... idk im into it!!!! conceptually!!!!!!!!!!!
also idr how much i discussed this last time but. as someone insane + always miro centric. it is very quite important to me that miro has two men just aaaabsolutely obsessed with him. and i think the difference in the way theyre obsessed with him is really silly and fun as well!!!! harls is . seemingly. relatively sane abt him off the ice (well. insane abt him but in the way he is insane abt everybody) but is SOOO obsessed with him as a player. insert every time he talks abt miro playing hockey. and roope is relatively sane abt him as a player - so much so that they played together for a full ! year!!!!! without the having their names linked forever and the being attached at the hip - but absolutely insane abt him off the ice. like will not leave him alone. like half of his insta posts include miro atp (not fact checking so just trust me). like it's truly sickening.
ANYWAYS..... sorry this was especially all over the place... i have a lot of big feelings and thoughts! i hope this was appreciated regardless of the Mess of it lolll
#i do assume people know its gonna be a disaster when i get asked to have expansive thoughts but#just in case#sorry my job held me away from all this for so long.....#i am trying to be so back......#42455#cel phone
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I’m actually going insane for some reason I thought this would be a funny one shot anyways based off an image and the animation I made on it SMUT WARNIG NOT OK THE CIDEO THE FANFIC PLS ONT READ IF U DONT LIKE SEX OK THANK YOU !!! <3
robert x ross SMUT!! (THEY ARE 25 and 27 , ROBERT IS 25 AND ROSS IS 27 )
context before reading:
ross and robert used to be married until roy talked them both into getting a divorce. ross still really loves robert but robert has moved on and married susie; whom he doesn’t even fricking like and is jst married to her bc he was being pressured to. he also still loves ross .. ;3 wink wink anyways I hope you love this totally cool fanfiction that I’m writing on here bc I don’t want to get wattpad let’s get started jake paulers !!!! ALSO QUICK NOTE I WAS ABT TO START Robert is british that’s my headcanon I’m sorry it’s not canon but GODDAMMM NN it’d be so cute (I like British) OK OK I’ll start now.: b!!
“Babe, that shoe won’t..” Robert grumbled as Susie tried to get a size seven, which he was not, onto his foot. “God dammit! Susie, I’m not Cinderella!” He yelled through the sizing hall, disrupting all the other happy wedding couples. He stared daggers into Susie’s embarrassed flushed face, then looked away as her eyes stared back.
“Come on, Robert,” She started, trying to reason with him. “I don’t want to do this either. You think I wanted to marry a giant with a ponytail? I wanted to marry an average sized handsome man. But, I got .. you.” She spat, now kicking the shoe she was trying to get on with her heels.
“I am not a giant!” Robert exclaimed. He flushed, knowing she was actually right. “If you don’t wanna marry me then why are you? I’d rather go back to..” Robert trailed himself off, knowing if he went there she’d cause the biggest TikTok scene you’d ever see.
“I’m marrying you because if I do I can buy anything I want!” Susie snarked. “I mean, living with a pastor is dumb too.” She referred to her and Pump’s dad who worked at a pastor at their local church. He was very religious about his Christianity and Susie hated it. She tried to rebel by burning the churches main bible, but they just got a replacement in ten minutes. “You have all that money you’ll never use.”
“I do use it.” Robert picked up a size nine from a different box and slid it on. Susie stopped her efforts and huffed. She picked up the size sevens and walked away, leaving Robert with five fancy shoe choices. He stared at all of them, but eventually picked the ones that looked just like the ones..
at their wedding..
He smiled thinking about how happy he was. With Susie, it was never going to be like that. She yelled all the time and sometimes it was funny, but when you’re the one being yelled at, it’s quite not. He frowned. He wished it would be like that, if Susie had found that ‘average sized handsome man’, maybe she’d be like that with him. Happy.
Robert got up and grabbed the shoe box, paid for it, then left. They had already invited everyone. They had already picked out their outfits. They had already picked up the cake. All that was left to do was get ready and do it. The truth was, he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to marry her. He was sure Susie was a nice girl underneath her saltiness, but he was never going to get that. They knew each other through grade school and high school, but they hated each other then, too. It was never meant to be and they both knew it, but they still were both willing to go through with it.
“Oof!” A voice whimpered. Robert snapped out of his thinking and looked down at the person he just trampled and smiled.
“Ross!” Ross looked up and smiled back. He quickly got up and brushed himself off. “Where have you been?” Robert asked. He hadn’t seen him since he’d told him about him and Susie’s wedding.
“You know.. working.. at the tattoo shop..? Is that what you want me to say?” Ross’s smile faded. Ross wasn’t particularly happy that Robert was marrying someone else, let alone somebody he knew he didn’t like. “What do you want me to say after you divorced me because a midget told you to, then decided to engage the most whitest girl you could find that you don’t even like?” Ross put his hand on his hip and waited for Robert to answer. Robert stared, and his smile was gone too. He scratched the back of his neck nervously.
“Ross, you know I’m sorry. I was happy with you..” Robert answered.
“Then why were you so quick to leave?” Ross said, his words laced with poison.
“I don’t know!” Robert quickly said back. Ross stood and his glare softened. He didn’t quite know himself why he agreed to it either. To make him happy? To make Roy happy? To make Robert happy? It was a mystery to him. Robert saw his glare was gone, so he took the opportunity. “Do you want to walk to the ceremony room?” He asked.
“To your wedding ceremony room?” Ross stared blankly. “Yeah. I wanna see if it’s better than ours.”
“Oh, trust me. It is. Susie wanted to make it look pretty. Too pretty.” He gagged. Ross laughed.
“Yeah, I bet.” He though and gagged too. Robert smiled and they walked along the busy sidewalk to their ceremony room. They walked in and it hit both of them like they were looking directly at the sun. “Jesus christ! How did the decorators even see?” Ross closed his eyes shut. Robert pushed Ross in and closed the two doors behind them. Ross finally opened his eyes again. “Woah..” He was actually amazed with how gorgeous it looked.
“Do you like it?” Robert asked. Ross nodded and started picking at the string lights attached on the wall.
“Dude, how do they even get those on there?” He stared at the lights in awe.
“Uhm.. super glue?” Robert answered. Ross looked back and looked mind blown.
“What! No way. There’s more to it than that.”
“Yes way. I know because I did it. I had to help.”
“No way!” Ross smiled.
“Yes way!” Robert smiled back. They both walked around the room together pointing out the most elegant things. Ross was amazed at how simple things stayed and Robert was amazed at how he was amazed.
A few hours had passed, amazingly. They both had gone through the room about a dozen times going over how it stayed and how it shone. They finally sat down at one of the white tables. “I wish our wedding was like this.” Ross smiled sadly.
“I don’t. You’d be too amazed by lights shining to even kiss me.” Robert teased.
“Oh really? How would I forget to kiss the most handsome man in that room?” Ross winked. Robert felt his face flush and he giggled then turned away. “.. and this room, Robert.” Robert flinched. He looked back at Ross who was smirking. He stuttered, couldn’t find his words, then looked back at the light he was staring at. “Come on, Rob. I know you want . . .
me . ‘’
Robert looked back and gaped, his face now a deep red. “Ross, I’m getting married today! Susie would fucking kill me!” Ross rolled his eyes and smirked again, knowing how to fluster Robert even more.
“And I want to fucking fuck you.” Ross softly squeezed Robert’s hand. Robert could feel his heart pounding in his throat along with his stomach sinking. He wanted this. He knew he did. But he was so scared of what Susie would do..
“No, I can’t,” He said with trembling breath. “I’d break her heart.” Robert sympathized Susie, even though she would never do that to him. He took his hand away from Ross, who took his hand right back.
“What heart?” Ross smiled. “You know she doesn’t love you. I know you don’t love her. So come on, I know when you want me. I can hear it in your voice..” Ross whispered. Robert felt chills on his back he hadn’t felt since the divorce. Ross squeezed his hand tighter.
“Al..alright.” Robert gulped. His breath shuddered as he looked down at Ross who bit his lip and slyly went under the white table. Robert flinched as Ross reappeared in front of Robert’s legs. He rested his head on Robert’s knees and looked up at him. Robert couldn’t hide a giggle. “What are you doing?” He laughed.
“Are you gonna let me see how hard you are, fuckface?” Ross grinned. Robert smiled, but sat still and shook his head. “You want to play?” Ross purred. He forcibly spread apart Robert’s legs who let out a grunt. Ross snickered. “You’re already getting off to me teasing you?” Robert looked away from him with a blood flushed face. Ross shrugged and unzipped Robert’s jeans and slowly took out his member while Robert stifled tiny moans. Ross smiled more and sat on Robert’s lap, front facing him. He grabbed Robert’s face with one hand on his member, turned his face to his own, and whispered in his ear.
“Did you miss me, whore?” Robert gulped and nodded. “Exactly.” Ross pushed his face onto Robert’s and kissed him hard while pulling on the back of his hair. Ross suddenly stopped and Robert started panting heavily whilst Ross stared.
“What’s wrong? Why did you stop?” Robert said in between pants.
“You’re holding your breath. You’re not with Susie anymore. You’re with me.” Ross warned. Robert shuddered and nodded again. Ross kissed him rough again but this time while stroking his member. Robert shuddered and moaned quietly while Ross explored his mouth. Ross could feel Robert’s hot breath escaping from his mouth and pressing onto their faces. Ross slowly stopped kissing Robert and wiped his mouth, getting off of the red mess in front off him. Ross smiled at him and Robert weakly smiled back in the chair. “You’re cute when you’re hot.” Before Robert could respond, Ross kneeled and shoved Robert’s cock into his mouth, motioning up and down. Robert covered his mouth, let his head back, and let out muffled moans while Ross went faster then slower. Robert winced and stopped covering his own mouth.
“Ross.. I’m gonna cu..” Robert moaned. Ross stopped quickly and kneeled to Robert’s head.
“Come before me and you’ll have hell.” Robert winced and covered his mouth once more, getting pain out of Ross’s pleasure. Ross let his own hard member out and sat down once again on Robert’s lap. He pressed his own member against the other and stifled an wince of his own. Robert uncovered his mouth and looked at Ross.
“Are you going soft on me, Ross?” Robert said between heavily shuddered breaths. Ross grumbled and started grinding against Robert’s member. “Ross!” Robert yelled, surprised. His head fell back and he let out loud moans. Ross quickly covered Robert’s mouth himself.
“You don’t want your ‘bride’ hearing you, do you?” Robert moaned and drooled over Ross’s hand while Ross kept going with his grinding. Ross then brung his head down and started to bite Robert’s neck, looking for a sweet spot. As he bit, he finally found one after Robert let out a passionate moan. “Still the same, isn’t it darling?” Ross whispered through his own wincing and kept biting and sucking Robert’s sweet spot whilst grinding his member. Robert winced and pulled Ross’s hand away.
“Ross.. please.. I have to..” Robert winced. Ross covered his mouth again and whispered into his ear.
“I’m not even close, babe..” He teased Robert as Robert started to whine. He continued his biting and grinding until Robert suddenly lifted his head, lifted Ross’s hand away, and started passionately kissing Ross as hard as he could. Ross moaned and closed his eyes shut while Robert started to stroke both members while Ross winced and groaned. Ross finally climaxed and started grinding slower. As soon as Robert saw this, he climaxed as well and grabbed the back of Ross’s head and continued to roughly kiss him. Ross pushed Robert’s kissing away, leaving a string of saliva which Ross wiped off. He panted until he noticed they were both still hard. He slyly smiled and gazed at Robert who was still wincing from the session. He started purring which got Robert’s attention.
“What..?” He panted.
“It’s my turn.” Ross purred. Robert got up and Ross slid into his place. Robert stood in front of him and started to slowly kneel down in an attempt to tease Ross. Ross grumbled. “Come on! I didn’t tease yo-“ Robert started licking Ross’s member slowly, teasing him. Ross shook and winced. Robert stopped and smiled.
“Do you want me to go faster?” Robert said quietly. Ross nodded, embarrassed that he was making him communicate. “What?” Ross looked away.
“. . yes.” Ross said quietly, his voice trembling from anticipation.
“I can’t hear you Ross.” Robert slowly stroked Ross’s member, waiting for a response he accepted.
“. . yesngh...” Ross moaned in between his response as Robert stroked his cock faster. Ross gritted his teeth as Robert stroked him and panted. Robert smiled and stroked his own while hearing Ross’s pants. Ross stared down at Robert and started stroking with him while he held on to his hair. He whimpered and muttered something Robert couldn’t hear.
“What?” Robert stopped and listened.
“..Please.. I need this… I need you.. Robert..” Ross pleaded. Robert gazed at him and grinned.
“I’m not gonna leave you this time..” Robert whispered and softly kissed Ross. Ross put his arms around Robert and kissed him softly back.
Shortly after, they’d both finished again. That chair they just ‘used’ had been ruined now. They finished just in time to hear Susie come in with her big goofy wedding dress and say “What the fuck are you two doing?” Right before Robert called off their wedding.
So, they had their own wedding. With all the superglued lights on the wall and a huge fucking cake with awesome icing and Susie wasn’t allowed anywhere near the wedding. They ate all the amazing fucking cake together and lived together for the rest of their lives. The end.” Roy closed his huge fucking book with gold pages. Robert and Ross stared at him, wide eyed.
“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU WRITE THAT?” Ross screamed while Robert gripped his hand for comfort.
“Well that’s how it happened, right?” Roy smiled.
“We didn’t fuck in a wedding hall, Roy!” Robert stared at Roy in disgust.
“Yeah, we fucked at my house.” Ross crossed his arms.
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Hello! This is my intro post for this Blog! 🎄🕎
This post will cover the fandoms I’m in and what I post on here.
•DNI ❌•
Zoophiles, MAPs, Proshippers, Xenophobes, Racists and Homophobes/Transphobes
• INTERACT PLZ 🫶•
Fandoms of these types of media;
YTTD — I LOVE YTTD. ONE OF MY FIRST DEATH GAME HYPER-FIXATIONS. (KeiSara and KaiSara shippers, especially, DNI.) WOULD LOVE TO DIVE DEEPER INTO THIS GAME, BUT SPOILERS SO.
Amphibia — I love this show SO much! The dynamics between Sasha, Anne and Marcy are immaculate and play off of the frogs, toads and newts so well; you have to watch this show if you haven’t yet. This goes for the whole list BTW. ^^
Owl House — I love this show, but I feel less of a connection than Amphibia because I watched Amphibia first ;-; THE BEST thing about this show is the characters. Amity, Raine, Hunter, Luz and Gus are the best characters IMO.
Deltarune — OMIGOSH PLZ TALK TO ME DELTARUNE FANS. TELL ME ALL OF YOUR THEORIES AND HC’s. If you cannot tell, I love Toby Fox games. Especially this one. I am Noelle (real) /j. Love all of the characters in this game. Not one I don’t like. (Maybe King -7-)
LOVE UNDERTALE. Don’t think I have to say that since they’re probably connected, (sorry Toby i just don’t trust you when you say that they aren’t ;u;) I will post about Undertale when we get news relating to the game!
Walten Files — Woah, if you’re reading this part this probably means you at least know what this is. Yeah that analog horror videos on YouTube. Also TW if you watch this… Uhh, used to be really into this one, but my interest has faded. I will be all over TWF4 whenever it comes out, but until now I’ll be posting about it scarcely. (SOPHIE AND JENNY KINNIES I SEE YOU OUT THERE.)
Disventure Camp — YES, THIS IS BETTER THAN TDAS, TDPI AND TDA. And yes, that was my opinion ofc. Anyway, more about Disventure Camp… ALLY, TESS AND HUNTER ARE ALL IN A POLY-RELATIONSHIP. Again, my opinion, but it makes so much sense! I’ll ofc respect your opinions. Also Aiden and James all the way.
Also I will interact with some Total Drama content, but not heavily. (Dave, Cameron and Sky IRLS DNI.)
Danganrompa Another — SORA AND YOUROKO IS MY COMFORT SHIP. Respect to Weeby Newz (YT) for getting me into this amazing fangan. So much better than the Source material. I recommend this fan-game for everyone but HUGE TW for the first game and a even bigger one for the sequel. We all meme on Mitch here. (Anyone glorifying Mitch Higa without being ironic DNI)
Danganrompa Edens Garden — OOH THE PROLOGUE LOOKED SO GOOD. If you’re looking for a alternative from the problematic air around the Main Danganrompa games, look no further than this game. ME AND JETT DAWSON ARE LITERALLY DATING. but … if I can’t have him cause he’s not real … he can date Mark. BUT I WONT BE HAPPY ABOUT IT. /j (I’m also a MarkDawson shipper so <: )
Inanimate Insanity — POSSIBLY MY OLDEST AND FIRST HYPER-FIXATION?? Bright lights forever! Anyway,,, Plot and Pacing: 2nd Season. Quality: 3rd Season. Sorry not sorry, the First season is problematic and unfunny. Anyway Cabby can marry me. (/hj) This animated YouTube series is so good!
I also do like other Object Shows! BFDI and ONEhfj are some I love. the ones I will post about will probably II and TPOT
Dead End: Paranormal Park — I NEED THE BOOKS AHHH. Love this show for the amazing Rep alone. THAT ALSO GOES FOR THE OWL HOUSE AS WELL. The story is great. It’s somehow Realistic and Supernatural at the same time!!?!
Omori — I like this game! The story is intriguing and heartbreaking </3 My Omori phase is passing away, sadly.
More Info About me:
If you’ve scrolled this far, you prolly wanna know more.
I’m Gay (MLM) and use They/it/he pronouns ofc!
I’m into Graphic design and MIGHT be getting a vinyl sticker printer soon!!!
I draw on paper and IBIS Paint X. I do have a drawing tablet, however it’s difficult to set up, it doesn’t help that I have a pitiful dell computer that’s on the edge of deaths door ;^; xd
anyway, like just ask to talk! Always open to that. <3
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I posted 481 times in 2022
That's 480 more posts than 2021!
31 posts created (6%)
450 posts reblogged (94%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@victimized-martyr
@wxtchofthewxlds
@moondiamonddust
@sunny-cyrus
@angryushankas
I tagged 324 of my posts in 2022
Only 33% of my posts had no tags
#kyman - 11 posts
#no thoughts only kyman - 9 posts
#ask - 9 posts
#kyman-core - 9 posts
#anon - 7 posts
#sp kyman - 5 posts
#south park - 4 posts
#numbknee writes - 3 posts
#screaming crying throwing up - 3 posts
#i am looking 👀👀👀👀 - 3 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#he’s like ‘no one wants to hear us talk for 20 mins straight’ like uh sir???? yes we do???? that’s why we are listening to the commentary!!
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
just had a vision of cartman singing heart boner by nsp to kyle at their wedding and beforehand he’s like “this is a song by a beautiful Jew... but not nearly as beautiful as THE JEW I JUST MARRIED!! I FUCKING LOVE YOU KYLE” and then he belts it out with his beautiful tenor voice and fucking kills the performance. many in attendance are scandalized by the crude lyrics, though most people there are either confused or laughing their asses off. it’s also a weirdly touching song and kyle loves it asdjfkldsjf. stan is already drunk by that point in the night so he actually tears up a little when cartman hits the long high note and kenny pisses himself from laughing too hard
33 notes - Posted September 6, 2022
#4
HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KYMANS?? please I beg u…. this fic is making me insane I need someone to share my suffering
anyway here have some out-of-context memes from the fic under the cut:
chapter 1:
See the full post
47 notes - Posted July 30, 2022
#3
a big part of the reason why I like the idea of cartman being a sub is because it’s SOOO MUCH FUNNIER than him being a dom!!
like here’s this selfish, cruel, horribly bigoted kid who has fucking MURDERED people and is the worst piece of shit on the planet.... but what he secretly wants more than anything in the world is for someone to bend him over a table, yank his hair, call him a slut, and fuck his brains out ajfkldsjfksldjf. it’s the same reason why I loved rabbi cartman in post-covid, because him converting and becoming more involved in the jewish faith than kyle after years of spewing antisemitic bullshit is fucking hilarious compared to like... generic mean CEO cartman
and this counts double in the context of a potential relationship with kyle!! it’s WAY more interesting that he’d want the kid he’s bullied relentlessly do those things to him because he has a secret giant crush on him, all while in complete denial and putting up a sadistic front to cope. it’s completely within his character to play those sort of mind games with himself.
in the sp documentary “six days to air” trey parker’s main piece of writing advice is to replace ‘ands’ with ‘buts’ or ‘therefores’ because that makes for a better story. so like, “cartman is antisemetic BUT he actually has a crush on kyle. cartman appears to be a sadist BUT he’s secretly a masochist, BUT he’s ashamed of that fact, THEREFORE he puts on a huge front and plays mind games with himself to cover up his true more shameful desires” is more interesting than “cartman is cruel and antisemitic and enjoys hurting people and is a dom” since the only ‘but’ in that scenario is that he’s antisemitic but he likes kyle.
tl;dr cartman is a sub. fight me
57 notes - Posted November 5, 2022
#2
tumblr_video
this clip’s been floating around on tumblr recently and matt’s acting made kyle sound SO GODDAMN CUTE, I wanted to see how it sounded with his adult/actual voice lol. the last 20 seconds especially make my heart melt 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
61 notes - Posted December 4, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
i feel like i’m going fucking insane I was rewatching ‘night of the living homeless’ and there’s that scene of the boys escaping a house and kyle takes cartman’s hands and pulls him up to the vent and my brain just goes
like it was such a minor interaction but at this point my shipping goggles are GLUED to my FUCKING FACE 😭
79 notes - Posted August 21, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#false#this truly was the year of kyman for me lmao
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MW3 spoilers below
I’m in my denial is a river in Egypt era
But like why did they tried their hardest to show that Soap was dead
Like price called a KIA on him
Laswell wrote the report, stressing on him being dead
and then the team was like putting their whole cunt during that scene where they spread his ashes
Like yeah I know he’s a main character, and all but soemthing isn’t right here
But don’t u guys think they’re trying WAYYYY too hard
Plus PLUS
I’m obviously being really delusional today
Alex ‘burnt’ to death during the explosion right
So did Graves, he supposedly died in a tank explosion, also ‘burnt’ to death
Like are y’all seeing what I’m trying to put down here??? Guys come on
A person or at least a ‘dead’ character in a COD franchise will come back if they were burnt—cremation requires the burning of the body right?!
ALSO Soap was cremated instead of buried in a casket, like I don’t know what’s the burial arrangements in Scotland is like but if u Google Scottish funeral tradition there’s something along the line of “the Catholic Church does allow cremation but its a seldom practice”
GUYS
THERES HOPE HE FAKED HIS DEATH (I’m insane btw)
I mean assuming he practice Christianity right? I know I know there’s a huge possibility of him requesting to get cremated because he’s a very funny man (also in retrospect it would mean his body would not end up in wrong hands because Makarov is an asshole)
He’s a demolitions expert, he would want to go out with a BANG AND FIRE (I’m sorry I’ll escort myself out)
There’s so many theories behind why he would need to fake his death too—from going deep undercover, to them needing someone skill full enough to infiltrate the enemy team, Them needing to look vulnerable so Makarov can target them and Soap being the eye of the team
PLUS FUCKING HELL
have y’all looked at Neil in the last couple of months?? Tell me that man isn’t preparing to become Captain Mactavish
Yes I know Neil himself confirmed Soap’s death—BUT—he also didn’t say he was going to leave the COD verse anytime soon (aside from not doing much advertising for the franchise I mean I would too Neil they did you dirty with that awful side character looking ass death scene)
His post could just be to throw us all off, I know neither Warren or Chad did this but it could just be because their characters aren’t main characters??
Anyway take everything with a grain of salt, there are characters who officially died and burnt alive too, this is just delusional speaking and I really am sad about Soap’s death and trying to cope xx
Edit: Soap probably got the idea after Grave made his comeback like Bitch was like if Graves can pull it off so can I
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dream log. hello. u know those dreams that feel like i’ve lived a whole other life by the time i wake up? i dreamt that i was dating this guy, maybe a few months after breaking up with kelvin. we were part of this friend group that stuck together (no one that i knew from real life funnily, all people made up by my brain), and we would just be very touchy and cuddly — i don’t remember how we eventually solidified it into a relationship. i think notable differences with my real-life experiences so far are that it was very organic (felt like a very natural transition), and we were solidly just friends for a while. don’t remember what he looked like, except that he was taller than me LMFAO. maybe he had glasses. and blonde hair. but maybe i’m making this up. he was very very sweet, caring, mature — no cringe guy behavior humor 💀. i always thought i wanted someone who matches my level of chaotic, but i think maybe i just want someone who accepts it but is sweet & caring over anything.
we dated for like 5 months? funny how i can endure/enjoy a relationship for longer in my dreams than irl. all i remember is it being really good. i don’t remember anything from it though, LOL, but it was just a very soft cuddly lovey relationship — probably a message from my brain that that is truly all i want in a s/o. we were very very touchy, but there wasn’t any type of sexual activity throughout the whole relationship — i feel a bit more safe in my asexuality after this, especially since i’ve been thinking about and questioning it a lot lately (still am but oh well, sexuality is a fluid thing and whatever and i can always change). i’m also wondering how tf physical touch isn’t one of my love languages though LMFAO?
moving on, because the dream gets FUCKING WACKY after this. we break up, but i barely remember why. it was either related to something or someone dying or sacrificing themselves or whatever — like it was some insane fantasy action plot — OR it was just because one of us didn’t want to anymore (most likely him because i was heartbroken after??). so after we break up, for the first day i’m totally fine — like after my irl breakup. and then, the day after, it hits. i’m at school, in class, and then trying to go to the bathroom, and i’m just MISERABLE. maybe this is the confirmation that i’m not unable to fall in love (aro moment) but that i just haven’t met the right person?
ok, parentheses but we NEED to talk about the fucking BATHROOMS. so i’m in line to go to the bathroom, and at this point i’m not in any specific school and everyone from my life seems to go to this school. like i’m seeing people from high school lining up for the washrooms and all the a&s girls are also in this school. so when i go to the bathroom… they’re like on a stage?? it’s like two really fancy toilet bowls, no walls, and u just go on stage and do ur business?? and everyone’s just doing it? there’s like a tiny tiny little barrier between the stage and below, where people wait, but still?? and there’s a tiger and supervisors up on the stage?? and u need to scan ur card to be able to activate the toilet bowl? i’m literally like… wtf. anyways, moving back to main story.
after my bathroom adventure, i somehow find myself with some of the a&s girls (not just them and not all of them). i’m on the verge of bursting into tears the whole time bc i’m literally fucking heartbroken, but none of them know. so i’m on edge, and some of them notice, but eventually we all head to our respective classes except i dip to go be heartbroken in peace. jiamei comes after me, but before we talk about anything, i’m jump cutting to the cafeteria, where i’m getting soup with… kelvin?? HAHAA. what even. so i’m telling him about the breakup, and dream him reminds me of EVERY reason i do not like him anymore. he’s having super cringe immature conservative man behavior and eventually is like “oh should we just get back together wink wink” and i’m like RREEEEEE GET ME OUT OF HERE *gags*.
i don’t know how the dream ends. i remember wanting to text the dream boyfriend-turned-ex, but not doing it because he isn’t texting me. but then, he’s like applying to this position that i’m in charge of reviewing? and then, i’m not certain what happens LOL. i’ll hope for dream me that she gets a happy ending, whether that be getting back with him and moving on. although dream boyfriend-turned-ex was truly a snatch — probably because he was only in my dreams AHAH.
wow this is my longest entry ever (so far) xd. maybe this is one of those dreams that are like premonitions? hopefully, i wanna date a man as good as dream guy in real life MDSLSPKSL.
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disney+ & bust
this is part of my netflix & chill collection !
summary; There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. warnings; arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of degradation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment, unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, return of mean jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf miscellaneous; ANGST, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count; 13k !!
notes; me: *writes couple who’s whole arc is being silly* y’all: MAKE THEM SUFFER GIVE US ANGST!! u ask I deliver so now we all suffer 😐 ngl it was hard writing this fic n u might notice there’s some parts that seem weird n that’s bc this was TWO fics w diff wording but I ended up mixing them bc I’m insane. still had a lot of fun! felt like I challenged myself!! not proofread bc when I say we suffer we SUFFER
please let me know what you think!!! a simple ask goes a long way <3
previous part: kissanime & foreplay
Approximately one week after The Bullet Bestie’s rise to prominence, Jungkook grows annoyed with it as his weirdly competitive nature rears its ugly head the more and more orgasms that little vibrator coaxes out of you. It turns on a weird switch in him, something slightly stuck up and snooty that he’ll never admit to out loud but is there nonetheless. By the following Friday, The Bullet Bestie is nestled deep in your garbage can and Jungkook’s back to pleasuring you with his tongue and fingers alone.
He had those moments in him, the ones where he liked to think he was better than any and everyone else, and occasionally they manifested against inanimate objects like a bullet vibrator.
Despite his polite and generally soft exterior, you catch glimpses of that cocky spirit more than anyone else. Over the past year, you’ve come to realize that Jungkook’s personality was like a coin that had been left out in the sun too long. He had this sweet and reserved nature you saw most times, a kindhearted boyfriend who adored you almost as much as you adored him. He was your angel whom you knew had a heart of gold, even if you were slowly bringing out his more childish tendencies. You knew him like the back of your hand, knew what his mom’s favorite color was and how he liked to stack the plates in his cabinet according to size and make. It was a side that was rusted from years of being out in the sun, basking in its adoring warmth, and you loved every inch about it.
And still, there was this other side to him you rarely saw. This cocky asshole who hid beneath the soft smiles and careful hands, making his appearance only through sly smirks and a tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek. He was a braggart, a man who knew his greatness yielded for no one and wanted that fact shoved down everyone’s faces. This Jungkook, this other side that never saw the light of day, was like the Hyde to his Jekyll. An unexpected, almost mean side to him that only dared make his appearance when his exhilaration was at an all-time high. Like when he was fucking you into another dimension, or kicking your ass in Mario Kart, or like now, when he was receiving an award at an annual tech ceremony.
On the eve of your one year anniversary, Jungkook’s company invites him to an awards ceremony for other web and app developers like him. It’s a grand event, filled with all the biggest nerds in the developing industry here to present the baby nerds with awards. Jungkook lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, both a seasoned player and a rookie all at once. He spends the night tolling you around in a floor-length gown and fangirling over all the “legends” in the room.
You know next to none of these people and none of their accomplishments but still pretend you respect them to hell and back. By the end of the main dinner, you’re sympathizing with Barbie’s ever-smiling features because your cheeks feel sore.
Towards the end of the night, Jungkook wins that random award— okay, who were you fooling? He wins the Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award, recognizing him for all the hard work you’ve seen him put in this past year. It’s probably the highest recognition he can receive at this point in his career. It was an esteemed award that was bestowed upon only the most innovative developer of the year among tech companies, something Jungkook had briefly mentioned he always wanted. It’s basically the equivalent of placing first place in his field, but given Jungkook’s competitive industry and his young age, you think it’s like telling all these old Facebook lords to suck his big fat cock. (But that was your job when you got home.)
He gives a short little thank you speech, promising to work hard and own up to this title. The people around you are swooning, obviously endeared with his soft puppy dog features and melodic voice. They don’t know him like you do, don’t know that uppity twist to his grin like you do. It doesn’t slip off his face even when he steps down off the stage, arms wide open as he comes barreling towards you. Even with you in his arms, the congratulations that are thrown from every direction ring loudly in his ears and swell that ego of his.
The night goes like that for the most part, Jungkook’s acquaintances approaching him every few minutes to rain down their praises. He goes a little crazy at the open bar after a while, shoving the gold trophy into your arms as his beloved work seniors whisk him off for drinks. You don’t mind because you resigned yourself to a night of playing Jungkook’s perfectly perfect partner anyway, watching him politely mingling with his coworkers. Despite his earlier success, you know he won’t brag about it verbally. No, he’ll wait until the two of you get home—your place or his—and remind you how amazing he is with a quick snap of his hips.
As you said, he’ll never boast aloud.
However, that doesn’t mean you won’t.
“That’s my boyfriend,” you explain to the seventh person that greets you that night, excitedly pointing to where said boyfriend was slowly losing all sense of self by the bar. You don’t know anyone here beside Jungkook, and you’re pretty sure no one in their hammered minds is going to remember who you are anyway, so a little gloating never hurt anyone. “He won the ‘I’m Better Than Everyone Else’ award tonight,” you emphasize to the tipsy woman beside you who only laughs at your exaggeration. You assume she’s like you, accompanying one of the many developers here, because as soon as you finish boasting about Jungkook she moves to brag about someone too.
Truth be told, you spend the whole night re-analyzing the Zootopia movie you saw on Disney+ the other night in your head. So if the little fox fellow didn’t control himself would the city have fallen to ruins? Why was the useless sheep girl so evil and bitter? Why was there an unreal amount of romantic tension between the fox and the rabbit? Whatever, you’ll have to rewatch it some other night, and with your new Disney+ account, you could watch it anywhere you wanted to.
Now, you had never bothered to purchase a Disney+ subscription or even tried to swindle Jungkook for his password before. As far as you know, Disney+ was filled with old tv shows from your childhood, sitcoms that made you laugh when you were ten. There’s nothing wrong with that, but personally, you were a firm believer that that which was perfect should not be touched once finished; in other words, you were utterly terrified you’d rewatch an old episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place, only to find out the same joke you’ve been regurgitating for the past ten years doesn’t actually go that way.
However, the harsh reality was that Disney+ was good for a few things. Ugh, you hate when giant corporations provide decent services. Aside from Zootopia, you’ve watched about every animated media on there as well, all of which you replay in your mind as Jungkook has the time of his life with these nerds, knocking back champagne glass after champagne glass.
Anyway, the night ends a little past midnight, and Jungkook who is buzzed on alcohol and high on exhilaration ends up calling an Uber for the two of you. Your apartment— the new one he had not only helped you hunt for but also helped you move into, greatly cutting the cost of movers out with those glistening biceps and thick thighs —is still going through her rebellious phase where the potted plants are trying to take over, courtesy of Kim Namjoon. So for now, there’s a potted plant in an awkward corner that both of you stub your toe against on your way to your bedroom.
You’re thinking Jungkook is going to go to town tonight, given the fact he’s on Cloud 9 and has had his ego stroked by a bunch of dudes for the past couple hours. Maybe you guys can try out the hot role-playing scenario you saw on GirlsWay a few weeks ago, or the handcuffs you impulsively bought from Amazon one Monday night. Or maybe, and this one really makes you flutter, he’ll let you fully take the reins for once.
All those lewd fantasies end up being for naught because just as you shimmy out of your gown (with the help of his hands, of course) and turn to climb him like a tree, he’s on the other side of the room getting your makeup remover out for you. And also talking. A lot. And way more than usual.
“Did you see him, babe?” he sighs, dare you to say, dreamily, handing you the cotton pads as he begins pulling a million pins out of your hair. Slowly and with a lot of confusion, you pull your fake lashes off and begin cleaning your face. “He was amazing.”
“Uh-huh,” you say, having absolutely no idea who ‘he’ is or why Jungkook is so in love with him and not you at this very moment. “But so were you,” you add. Perfect. Stroke his ego and then stroke his cock.
Jungkook sputters at your praise. He’s carefully placing your hairpins on your thigh, cheeks flaming red every time he leans over you. “Was I?” he murmurs, voice sweet in that cute little way it always gets when he’s downed one too many shots of whiskey, enough to be buzzed but not enough to be wasted.
You turn and the pins clatter to the floor and across the bedsheets. “Yes,” you confirm, ignoring his sad huff at the mess you’ve made. Instead, you grab him by the collar of that pink button-up he taunted you with all night. “You were fucking incredible and I think incredible men deserve to have their dick sucked.”
Jungkook laughs at your vulgar statement, holding you gently by the hips as you climb into his lap. “Is that so?” The soft, shy persona is gone now, replaced by the gentle stirring beneath his dress pants. You nod hurriedly, plopping down on his lap and running your hands through his styled hair.
“Yes,” you confirm, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Luckily for you, I know this nymphomaniac who would gladly gobble up your cock at your every command.”
He snorts just as you push him into his back, nose adorably scrunched up. “First of all, you know I hate that word,” he chuckles, finally gracing you with a sweet peck that only makes you want him to fuck you into the fifth dimension. “Secondly, please don’t ever say you’ll gobble my cock up ever again.”
Something inside of you squeals with excitement as he rolls the two of you over, firm body pressing down on yours. “Oh, baby,” you groan, lazily throwing a leg over his hip. Jungkook grins and then decides to entertain you for a few minutes with a sloppy kiss.
You say a few minutes because just as things are heating up, he pulls away. He smiles apologetically. “As much as I’d love to be here with you, I actually have an early morning tomorrow.”
You frown at the sudden change in events. “Huh? They’re gonna make you work the morning after a Gatsby party?” you gasp, sitting up as he gets off of you. With every step he takes away from the bed your heart breaks a little more. “They can’t do that— that’s illegal!”
From the doorway he levels you with a comically raised brow. “No, it’s not.”
You scamper after him down the hall, watch the muscles in his back flex as he pulls his suit jacket on. “You can’t work on our anniversary— that’s illegal!” you offer instead.
He stops at your front door, feet squeezed back into his shoes. “Baby, it’s not,” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to peck your forehead. “It was either I work in the morning or work at night,” he explains, giving your messy hair a soothing caress. He’s looking at you with those eyes, the ones that make your heart lodge itself into your throat and make life a tightrope experience. There’s a devastatingly lovesick part of you that wants this moment, this kind face, to be engraved into your mind for the rest of your life. You want this to be the first and last thought you have and nothing else: just Jungkook’s adoring gaze on you for the rest of time.
The moment ends too soon when he flutters one last peck against your lips. “I’ll be done in the afternoon, okay?”
You pout. “Okay, your place?” you huff, making sure to get one last octopus squeeze around his waist. He nods. “Promise you won’t be late?”
The corners of his gaze soften. “You know I won’t,” he smiles, leaning down to bump your noses together playfully. “Can’t stay away from my pretty girl too long. Besides, I have a gift for you tomorrow.”
It’s with that sentiment and a hammering heart that you let him go. With Jungkook gone, there’s really nothing for you to do now. You took the next two days off in preparation for your anniversary sex, so you don’t have to head to sleep early like usual.
With nothing else planned, you decide on rewatching that Zootopia movie that had plagued you all night, ready to dissect every plot hole to hell and back. You don’t think Jungkook’s seen this movie yet so you add it to your long list of animated movies you’re forcing him to watch.
Part of you is actually really surprised Jungkook left. Well, kinda sorta, very, but not really. Jungkook was a good boy, that much was obvious. He took his job seriously, and if his job wanted him to come in at the asscrack of dawn, then he’d come in before the sun even rose. He was a goody-two-shoes, but even so, you were occasionally able to bring out that darker side in him.
Jungkook working, like actually working in an office setting, was pretty rare though. The dude had a chill job that let him stay home most of the time, and essentially clock in whenever he wanted. Every now and then you were able to convince him to stay, tucking him beneath your body or the covers, depending on the night, and refusing to let him go the morning after.
Once he had eaten you out until the wee hours of the day, ravenous between your thighs, and then went to work the next morning like he hadn’t broken you. Another time you had persuaded him into watching every season of the 2017 DuckTales reboot through the night. When the alarm had rung in the middle of the season finale, he had simply gotten into your shower and gone off to work.
So maybe you were a little confident in your skills, and Jungkook slipping between your fingers tonight was a huge bummer. But there was no use crying over spilled milk, you tell yourself, flinging your bra off somewhere in the corner as you snuggle back into your sheets. You’re ready to tear this Zootopia movie apart, scene by scene.
Even though your apartment is a little cold, you’re comforted by the fact Jungkook will be here to keep you warm all day tomorrow.
All men do is lie.
Despite his promise to come home early the next day, Jungkook ends up lying. The meeting he had been in all morning— the same one that had stopped you from getting bent like a pretzel the night before —drags on well past noon. Then, Kim Namjoon, AKA Jungkook’s favorite senpai in the entire world, catches wind of Jungkook’s success last night and absolutely has to take him out to lunch to celebrate.
You scoff, glaring down at your phone and the impulsive messages you’d sent out an hour ago when Jungkook had first texted you telling you he would be late.
You whirl around to stomp off in the direction of his living room, where all of yours and Jungkook’s favorite foods were growing colder by the minute. You had spent the longest time carefully laying them out, making sure the fried chicken was closer than the pizza but not closer than the breadsticks. Truthfully it’s a nightmare. There are about eight stomach aches worth of food sitting on his coffee table, the greasy stench makes you gag and will certainly stick to your hair for weeks, but none of that mattered because it was all for your beau.
Your very late beau who was making you grow more and more agitated with each minute that passed. Ugh! How inconsiderate of him to test your patience on a day like this. You didn’t want to be upset with him, but this was your first, real milestone as a couple with him. You had wanted to spend the whole day cuddled up, maybe finally tell him how much he really meant to you— definitely not waking up alone with eyeliner crusted eyes and an aching heart.
Deciding you’re being a little too dramatic, you head into the bedroom to calm down. This was fine, you tell yourself, carefully laying out the damn near harlotrous lingerie you had yet to put on. Jungkook would come over soon and everything would be A-okay.
Except for the part it’s actually F-not okay because soon it’s nearing sunset and the food has gone cold so you’ve stocked it into the fridge, and the pretty sheer bra has a wonky wire that’s two seconds away from piercing through your heart, but that doesn’t even matter because Jungkook being late for your all-day anniversary celebration has already ripped it to shreds anyway.
You plop down on the couch in defeat, impulsively opening up the Disney+ app to cry through another episode of Phineas and Ferb. You’ve abandoned the satin robe that came with the lingerie in favor of donning a big t-shirt that smells like him and makes your heart hurt even more. The setting sun paints the living room in muted oranges, the chirping of birds outside the soundtrack to your lonely day.
You end up watching some other cartoon on Disney+, avoiding the Marvel section because you had promised Jungkook he could be there when you lost your Marvel virginity. Well, at least one of you was good at keeping promises, you think bitterly. For a second, you think about randomly watching one of the infamous MCU films out of order just to spite him. But then you think of that soft puppy gaze and how disappointed he’d be in you.
Whatever! It wouldn’t ever match up to the way you felt now.
Anyway, you circle back. When you’re five episodes into Phineas and Ferb you hear the doorknob rattle.
You sit up just as the door swings open, visible from your spot on the couch. He meets your gaze almost immediately, big doe eyes caught in the act. What act? You’re not really sure. In fact, you don’t even know what you’re looking at when he walks in because he’s drowning in shopping bags. His lips twist into a grin. “Honey, I’m home,” he says playfully.
You don’t laugh.
Jungkook frowns, dumping all his bags down at the entrance before waddling over towards you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, coming to stand before you and cupping your face in his hands. He’s towering over you, so tall and gorgeous but for the first time, you’re not dazed by his beauty.
“Kook, you said you’d be back hours ago,” you say slowly, avoiding his gaze. You try to keep the frustration out of your voice, but you’ve had hours to dwell on it now, and those annoying cartoon characters, though charming at first, had only served to multiply your annoyance.
Jungkook blinks, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean… yeah. But I got you presents?” he beams, glancing back at the mountainous pile he made by the door. You look over too. There are some luxury bags squeezed in between other shops you like, the occasional jewelers' logo on the side.
You stand with a sigh, sauntering off into the kitchen with him on your tail. “I don’t want presents,” you mumble, reaching to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re briefly aware of how childish you must seem. Jungkook hovers behind you.
“What? Yes, you do,” he says. “You had an entire wishlist on my Amazon of things you wanted.” It’s his turn to level you with an unreadable expression, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.
Your frown only deepens as you turn to match his stance against the counter. While it may be true that you did indeed have an entire list of impulsive items on his Amazon, that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted them all. Sometimes you just wanted to stare longingly at a pair of satin gloves without actually buying them. You don’t know how to explain this much to him. “They’re not…” you stop with another deep breath. “Forget it. Thank you for the presents.”
Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to question you. “What,” he says in an unimpressed tone, padding over to you before you can escape back into the living room to watch the entire princess movie collection on Disney+. “No, tell me what’s wrong.”
For some reason, that’s exactly what you don’t want to hear. “Jungkook,” you say flatly, narrowing your eyes at him. “You come home six hours after you said you would without telling me why, and normally I wouldn’t care, but today was supposed to be a special day for us.”
Jungkook reels at your bluntness. “Babe, I was out getting stuff for you. I know it’s our anniversary— that’s why I wanted to treat you,” he responds, oddly condescendingly like you’re a child who doesn’t understand what exactly he was doing.
You brush his hands away from your shoulders. “Yeah,” you huff. “Now I know that. But I spent all day waiting for you,” you stress, chest puffing as you grow more and more agitated by his inability to understand you. God, can he let you go now? At least a bunch of animated, geometrically drawn cartoons won’t question you like this and make you feel as childish as he was.
When he doesn’t say anything else you stomp back into the living room, snatching up your phone from its forgotten spot against the couch. “I’m going to bed.”
At that Jungkook seems to kickstart back to life. “What? ___, it’s barely six,” he says as he follows after you into your bedroom. You ignore him, shuffling beneath the covers. In all actuality, you’re going to bed to mope and watch more animated family shows, maybe cry under the guise of the plot just being so sad. Jungkook sits beside you just as you click back on to finish off your episode. “Baby, I don’t get it,” he sighs. “You’re always talking about how much you want this or that, and I go out and get you it all but now you’re mad?”
You bite down on your lip, eyes lasered in on the pictures moving before you. “Jungkook, just forget it.”
“No,” he says, more sternly than he’s ever been with you before. “If there’s a problem, tell me.” There’s a heavy pause, and then he says, “don’t make me waste my time guessing what’s wrong, okay?”
“Waste your time?” you scoff, sitting up with pinched brows that you find match his. “I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time— in fact, that’s hot coming from you, Jungkook.”
He rolls his eyes. “What are you even saying? You’re mad because I took a little long getting presents, for you, might I add,” he huffs, plopping down on the edge of the mattress beside your knee. “You’re always saying you want this and that, but you can’t handle me going out to get those things? Do you hear how weird you sound?”
You whip the covers off of you. “Me talking about things doesn’t always mean I want them,” you defend.
Jungkook snorts. “Yes, it does,” he says. “Anytime you ramble about stuff for minutes like a little kid it’s because you want me to buy it for you.”
You blink. “Like a little kid?” you repeat, stunned by his comparison. Granted, you always knew you were the more childish of the two, but you never thought that would equate Jungkook thinking of you as a child. Something red and nasty flares in your chest. “Well sorry,” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, “sorry we all can’t be perfectly mature golden boys who would never see the light of day if I constantly wasn’t dragging them out.” You know it’s a somewhat low blow, especially because Jungkook’s told you before how his introverted tendencies were a sensitive issue growing up, but you can’t help it.
Jungkook groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Baby, don’t do this now,” he warns, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Stop acting like this.”
“Like how?” you spit, “like a kid?” Jungkook says nothing, leveling you with a blank stare from the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes, phone falling off your lap. Another episode of Phineas and Ferb had started, the corny opening tune filling the space between the two of you. “At least now I know what you think of me,” you mutter over the guitar riff.
“Oh my god,” Jungkook blurts, sitting up wildly. “Of course I’m gonna think of you as a stupid little kid, look at you,” he seethes, gesturing at the phone beside you. You flinch. “All you do is watch kids shows and whine whenever I wanna watch anything normal adults watch. You complain every single day about the most normal things, like your job? Why should I fucking care that you’re working a dead-end office job in a field you didn’t even study for— that’s not my problem, __!” he snaps, eyes narrowed into little slits. “I just won an award last night,” he says suddenly, voice back to its regular volume. “I’m at the height of my career and I’m only going up, but I can’t even enjoy that because I have to come home and cater to you,” he finishes, a loud scoff punctuating the final word.
You had never imagined Jungkook finally bragging about himself would be at your expense.
A beat of silence passes, the angry glint in his eyes quickly fading away the longer you don’t say anything. You sniff once, turning your head idly to the side where Phineas and Ferb is still blaring loudly from your phone speaker. Picking up the device, you throw it across the room where it hits his closet door with a terrifying bang the breaks the silence.
The sound snaps Jungkook out of whatever shock he’d been in. “Baby…” he says slowly, carefully, like you’re a caged animal that’s just escaped the zoo.
“I’m going home,” you say, also a little too calmly. You saunter over towards his closet where your shattered phone screen glares up at you as you yank a pair of sweats off a hanger. Jungkook is still frozen on the edge of the bed, watching you with wide eyes as you move about the room.
It’s when you’re in the hallway leading downstairs that Jungkook finally snaps out of his daze, scampering behind you as you descend the stairs. “Baby,” he rushes out, loudly bounding down after you, “___, wait,” he gasps, catching you by the kitchen counter collecting your keys. “I-I didn't mean that,” he rushes out, eyes wide and frantic as they flicker over your expression. “I don’t think that—I don’t, baby, please, just… let me explain, please.”
“Jungkook, let go of me,” you respond, shaking your wrist in an attempt to release yourself. He’s not even holding you tightly— he never would—but the sound of your heart pounding in your ears makes your movements jerky and erratic. “I wanna go home.”
“No,” he chokes, cornering you against the counter. “No, baby, please just listen to me, I-I—“
“You what, Jungkook?” you snap, placing a hand on his chest and forcefully pushing him away. He lets you, stepping back with a wobbly bottom lip. “You need to tell me how you’re too good for me? How much I hold you down because I wasn’t lucky enough to get a job like yours straight out of college?” He says nothing, swallowing roughly as you jab a finger into his chest. “Well let me tell you something,” you snarl, chest heaving, “I may be childish and a huge complainer, but I’m not stupid enough to let someone walk all over me like this.”
With that, you make your great escape. Truthfully, you don’t want him to see the tears in your eyes as you yank his door open, stomping down his steps and in the direction of the nearest bus stop. The door opens right after you tug it shut, painting your shadow across the sidewalk. There’s the scrambled sound of house slippers against the concrete that follows you down. “Go the fuck back inside,” you snap without missing a beat.
Sensing your obvious anger, he pauses before he can reach you. “Text me when you get home?” he calls out quietly.
“No,” you respond.
You would never admit to anyone that you spend the entire night eating a tub of mint chocolate ice cream. It’s disgusting and makes you gag, but it’s the only one you have in your apartment. And of course, it was brought over by none other than Jeon Jungkook himself a few days ago. Even when you’re trying to comfort yourself over how mean he was, on your anniversary night no less, you’re plagued by thoughts of him everywhere.
As much as you want to brush his words off, put on that cool girl exterior you’ve maintained since high school, there’s something different about this situation. You guess it’s impossible to brush off such hateful words when they come from someone you love and adore so much.
Were you too childish? You had always believed that side of you was what made your relationship with Jungkook so perfect. The two of you meshed well because of your differences, like yin and yang. So how had he been able to so easily deconstruct every inch of that balance in a matter of a few seconds? Was this perfect reality all in your head this whole time?
You want to tell yourself it was just a heat of the moment outburst from Jungkook, give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s never snapped at you like this before. Of course you’ve fought a couple of times in the past year, but neither of you had ever stooped as low as you did yesterday. Furthermore, the insecure part of your brain says he obviously felt this somewhere in his heart to bring it up at all. What he had said to you wasn’t something someone could make up on the spot.
You don’t text him when you get home, partly to spite him, but mainly because you had left your phone at his place anyway. You know he tried calling you last night because the call log is synced up to your laptop. He called on and off for about thirty minutes before he probably found your phone in his room. Whatever, he can mope in his regret for all you care
—is what you wanna say, but the longer he goes without showing himself to you the more your insecurities and hurt fester. Was this it? Was this the end of what was probably the best year of your life? It’s too painful to think about, to even consider the possibility that Jungkook might have gained a new insight last night and decided, hey, maybe this is for the best after all.
You drown yourself in an ungodly amount of sugar for breakfast, your laptop blaring yet another episode of Phineas and Ferb on the dining table. Muscle memory has you making Jungkook’s favorite pancakes before you can stop yourself, and by the time you do realize, you’ve resigned yourself to the blueberry smell anyway.
There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb.
It’s not.
It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. You open the door with a fright, jumping back when he slumps forward and almost crashes face-first into the floor. “You didn’t call,” Jungkook cries, leaning a little too much of his weight onto you when you reach out to steady him.
The thundering of your heart slows upon registering it’s him. “Kook?” you frown, nose pinched at the ungodly stench of alcohol wafting off his clothes. “Have you been drinking?” you ask even though the answer is staring you right in the face (and in the nose).
He groans, staggering deeper into your arms. You blindly push the door shut behind him, resigning yourself to this new situation while your pancakes grow cold in the other room. “Baaaby,” he slurs, letting you guide him into the living space. He’s unceremoniously dumped onto the couch, half-opened eyes gazing up at you. “Let me,” a hiccup, “explain.”
You won’t lie. There’s a very obvious sense of discomfort sitting in your chest, torn between two paths that you don’t wish to choose between. His skin is warm and flushed like he’s just walked all the way here in this morning sun. You step over to the window that faces down onto the street below. There’s no sign of his car; you would have killed him if he ever tried to drive in this state.
“Did you walk here?” you ask instead, deciding there’s no need for one singular path, not when you can walk straight down the middle, both cleaning him and grilling him at the same time.
Jungkook’s response is delayed, head lolling from side to side as you help him out of his sweater. His skin is sweaty beneath, scorching to the touch. “Uh-huh,” he groans. Jesus, you sort of assumed but him confirming it really set things into perspective.
By no means did you and Jungkook live on opposite ends of the earth. On a good day, a drive from your place to his took about ten minutes. But walking? Easily an hour. Had he walked all the way from his place, drunk on top of that?
You brush his hair away from his face, his eyes fluttering shut at your touch. His lips are pouty yet chapped, dehydrated from the sun and the alcohol he reeks of. “Sit up for me,” you instruct, scampering off to your room for chapstick and water.
“Anything for you,” Jungkook wheezes, throat probably dryer than a desert. When you return, he’s two seconds from face planting into the coffee table and breaking that pretty face of his. You catch him with a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced. “Tell me what to do,” he chokes out, voice hoarse.
“Just need you to drink some water,” you say, pressing a cup against his lips. He drinks it, but a drop still dribbles down his chin.
“No,” he groans, catching your wrist in his hand when you reach up to apply some chapstick on him. “Tell me what to do,” he stresses, “to fix this. Fix us.”
His words make you pause, the tube of chapstick hovering over his plush lips. “You don’t have to do anything,” you respond quietly, trying to finish the application so you can pull away.
Jungkook doesn’t let you go. You try to look away, but there’s something about him that looks off. Maybe it’s the raw skin under his eyes, red and swollen. Or the sad droop to those same eyes that hold you captive. Or maybe it’s the subtle tremble in his hands, the fingers that hold tightly to your wrist, not to keep you there but to ground himself. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he rasps out, shakily bringing your hand to his mouth, where he presses one airy kiss to your knuckles. “Tell me ho-how to fix this and I’ll do it,” he pleads, a vulnerable look in his eyes.
Unable to withstand the sheer amount of agony on his expression, you look away. “___, please,” he chokes out, stumbling off the couch in his drunk and desperate haze until he’s kneeling in front of you. “I can’t… I can’t,” he sniffles, tears clouding those pretty eyes you’ve come to love so much. “I don’t know who I am without you.”
You clench your jaw. “You’re Jeon Jungkook,” you murmur, slipping your hand out of his hold to run through his hair. It’s knotted and a little too greasy, two things Jungkook would usually never allow. “This year’s Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award recipient,” you remind him, trailing your thumb across his cheekbone when he turns to look up at you with those big Bambi eyes. “Sweet and shy, but you love being rowdy with your friends. You love movies and TV and organizing your shirts according to fabric type. You work harder than anyone I know and never complain. You date me, even though I’m a huge child,” you smile sadly.
“No!” he jumps, turning that frantic stare back into you. “Y-You’re not— it’s not,” he stammers, words still slurring together. “I’m a liar,” he cries, resting his forehead on your knees. His shoulders shake. “I don’t deserve you,” he weeps quietly. You place a hand on his shoulder. “Y-Y-You make my life so much better, ___, so colorful and fun. I-I wish I knew you in high school,” he admits, “maybe I wouldn’t have been so emotionally constipated now.”
“You’re not,” you reassure him softly.
He disagrees. “You bring out the best,” he hiccups, “the best in me.” Your heart skips in your chest. “I-I love you, you know that?”
You sputter, eyes wide at his sudden confession. “I… love you so much, y’know? I think about you ev-every night, ___,” he rambles, eyes dreamily gazing off into some miscellaneous spot on the wall behind you. “I can’t get you out of my head. Like you're a song, o-on repeat but it’s not annoying because it’s my favorite song, and I could listen to it for the rest of my life, y’know? My favorite song, I know all the words b-because it’s all I think about! I love... My love… I love you so much.”
“Kook,” you rush out, cheeks flaming as you try to pull him away from where he’s slumped over your legs. His passionate speech has you abuzz, body tingling everywhere until you feel overwhelmed, head spinning like you’re on a rollercoaster. “Let’s get you to bed.”
He nods sleepily, seemingly coming down from whatever alcohol induced rampage has allowed him to walk for an hour straight in this searing heat just to confess to you. “Y-You don’t have to say it back,” he continues to stutter as you guide him through the living room on wobbly legs. “I just-I just— can I?” he babbles. “Can I love you, ___?”
You pass through the kitchen space, where whatever you were watching on Disney+ is blaring loudly. It distracts Jungkook for about two seconds before his attention returns to you. When you don’t answer, he presses on. “Is that okay?” he asks, whirling around to face you, catching your shoulders in his hands. He towers over you by the entrance to your bedroom, dark curls tickling your forehead. His eyes are dark and glazed over, both in tears and an emotion so raw and unfiltered it squeezes around your chest until you can’t breathe. “Is it okay for me to love you?” he murmurs softly, knocking his nose against yours.
Your cheeks blaze. “Yes, th-that’s fine, Kook,” you blubber, placing a hand over his chest, where his heart is also hammering away. “Just need you to go rest now, okay?”
He nods sleepily, nudging your nose with his one last time, like a soft almost-kiss, before letting you push him into the room. “Yes, yes,” he breathes, his body finally crashing from his adrenaline spike. He flops down onto the bed unceremoniously, dark waves fanning across your pillows. You try to wiggle him out of his shirt, but it only gets about halfway up his chest before he blindly reaches for the covers. His legs stick out awkwardly, clad in the sweatpants you’ve come to associate with him.
When he’s all swaddled up in your blanket he finally goes limp, tiny snores leaving his lips as he dozes away from reality. You sigh, pressing a palm to his forehead. He’s still warm and clammy, but at this point, there’s nothing you can do but wait for him to sober up.
With a final kiss to his forehead, you leave the room, closing the door behind you before sliding against the wooden surface. There’s a trapped bird in your chest, wildly flapping its wings in an effort to get out, and it’s all stupid Jungkook’s fault in the next room. Stupid Jungkook who demolished and remodeled your heart all in less than twenty-four hours. It doesn’t calm down, even when you rush off into the kitchen for a glass of water, or when you try to immerse yourself in some other show on Disney+. It stays beating against your ribs and your chest until you’re forcing yourself to sit down on the couch and process.
He wakes up a little before dinner. You hear him from the living room, where you’re flicking through the options on Disney+ for the nth time that day. You’ve seen the first fifteen minutes of about twenty different series and movies by now, always growing antsy and abandoning them early on. The only reason you know he’s awake is because the shower turns on for a few minutes, and then his bare feet are heard padding across the hallway back into your room.
By the time he resurfaces in the living room, you’ve resigned yourself to just more Phineas and Ferb, nonchalantly watching the silly cartoon. (Except you’re anything but nonchalant, and your heartbeat rings in your ears.)
Jungkook hovers by the door, clad in a pair of shorts he’s left here before, and a t-shirt you stole from him. “Hey,” he says quietly, lingering by the doorframe. You nod back in response. “Can I watch with you?” Again, another nod.
Slinking over to the couch, he’s rather careful as he sits down, leaving a few inches of space between the two of you. You don’t even think he can see the screen of your laptop until he murmurs, “he’s my favorite character,” when Perry the Platypus appears on the screen.
You hum. “Thought you didn’t like these kids shows?” you ask. You don’t mean it to sound as petty and backhanded as it comes out, but that’s really no one's fault but his own.
Jungkook’s breathing tightens beside you. “No,” he admits, “I don’t. Only watch them because I know you like them.” You contemplate pausing the episode and engaging in a real conversation with him, but at this point, you’re very tired from the events of the last day. Jungkook doesn’t press either, just shuffles more comfortably beside you.
You get about five minutes in, quiet chuckles shared between the two of you, before he strikes. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says, so hushed you almost don’t hear it. His hand is resting in the space between you, pinky brushing against yours. “About… being late. And the presents.”
You inspire slowly. “That wasn't even the problem, silly,” you brush off. From your peripheral, you see Jungkook’s slow nod. “I didn’t want any presents,” you mention, “I just wanted you.” You look away from the screen immediately after, pretending like the spot on the ceiling is actually really interesting.
The two of you fall into silence, the animated characters on your screen rapidly chattering away. “Oh,” Jungkook says after a moment.
You roll your eyes. They’re moist but you don’t want him to see. “Yeah, oh,” you parrot back softly, relaxing into the couch again. “Did you eat the food I left out?”
Jungkook shuffles beside you, the soft lull of the speakers soon being cut as he reaches over to pause Phineas and Ferb. A couple of seconds pass and then he’s leaning into you, head resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, placing a palm over the hand he had been teasing for the past few minutes. “I thought I knew what I was doing but I was wrong.”
His voice is so soft and sincere, it makes your chest ache. You try to burrow your face against your opposite shoulder, try to hide the stray tear that escapes out of the corner of your eye. “It’s fine,” you brush off, voice choked off and hoarse.
Jungkook leans up, pecks your cheek so tenderly it makes you go mushy. “No, it’s not fine. I acted like a know-it-all and said something way out of line,” he murmurs, raising his head to look at you. His hand feels warm over yours. It’s the touch you craved all day and yesterday, the warm feel of his body against yours. You’re embarrassed at how easily you melt into it. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” he tells you, holding your hand close to his chest. “I had no right to say those things to you.”
You sniffle, resting your head against his shoulder now. His heart beats loud enough for you to hear. “Was it true?” you mumble. “Do you really think of me like that?”
He shakes his head, his soft breaths fanning across your forehead. “No, never,” he answers. “I think you’re incredible. My brain was just trying to justify my dumb anger.”
You nod, even if you don’t believe it just yet. But that was a conversation for later, you suppose, sometime in the future when you aren’t on the verge of tears and threatening to crumble apart at the simplest word that leaves his mouth.
“I should have come home like you wanted, thought about my words before saying them,” he says, snuggling closer to you. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop,” you sniffle, covering your face with your free hand as he presses a kiss to the vein that runs over the back of the hand he’s holding captive. “Now it just sounds like I'm just being inconsiderate of your gifts and a crybaby.”
Jungkook kisses your temple softly, gently. “Don’t think about the gifts,” he says. “Just tell me what you wanted to do, doll.”
His voice calms you, has you like putty in his arms. “Watch movies,” you mumble, toying with a thread on your couch cushion. “Be with you.”
He hums. “Then we’ll do that,” he says, reaching for your laptop again. The screen nearly blinds you when it flickers back to life before you, Jungkook’s low breaths against your ear making it near impossible for you to process the titles on the screen. “You liked Disney+?”
Belatedly, you nod. “I like the animated movies,” you admit quietly, the anxieties of before slowly melting away, even more so when he slides his arm around you, pulling you close against his chest.
Unlike other times where he’ll critique the hell out of such childish films, Jungkook says nothing as he starts up the Zootopia movie instead, the same one you had wanted to show him before, right from the beginning. “That bunny looks like you,” you murmur when Judy Hopps first appears on the screen.
Jungkook snorts. “You say that about every cartoon bunny.”
You turn your head to glance at him over your shoulder. He meets your gaze with a small smile you return. “It’s because you’re so cute,” you say softly, lips twisting playfully when his cheeks grow scarlet.
He knocks his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. “Not cute, just lucky,” he chuckles. “Lucky enough to have you.” Your heart turns over in your chest, threatening to burst out of your rib cage at his words. You try to turn in his arms. Before you can say the words that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue for months now, he’s beating you to it once again. “I love you,” he confesses in a hushed whisper, no alcoholic influence.
Something inside of you blossoms, eyes wide as he chastely kisses you. He pulls away without you ever reacting, too caught up in surprise to kiss him back properly. He stays close, curls tickling your forehead as he leans over you. “You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know. I love you,” he says again, long lashes blinking down at you. “So much. It makes me feel like a stupid teenager again, going to the mall to buy a gift for my crush.” He laughs sheepishly, reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “Is that okay?” he asks quietly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
It mirrors the confession he’d given you that morning, those slurred words and teary eyes. It had been difficult to pinpoint the legitimacy of it before, the meaning scrambled by his hazy mind. But with him staring at you like this now, like you single-handedly plucked the stars from the sky to put them in those sparkly eyes of his, it makes something inside you ache.
Still, you choke on your own spit. “I-Is it okay for you to love me?” you sputter incredulously, realizing the oddity of the same question he’d thrown at you earlier. But now, you’re both sober and you can really tear apart that sentence. Jungkook nods a little too seriously for your liking. “Are you crazy?” He blinks in confusion, brows pulling together as you slowly but surely lose the last bits of your sanity. “You’re an idiot, Jeon Jungkook,” you huff, “a stupidly handsome, rich, walking dream, idiot who goes out with stupid girls like me.”
“Not stupid,” he murmurs, closing in on you again as he finally understands the truth behind your masked insults. He smells minty and like his favorite body wash of yours.
“No,” you deny. “You’re actually, like, insane. You have a bachelor pad, make enough money to sustain an entire litter of kittens, look and talk like every teenage girl’s dream boyfriend— but you mess it all up by dating evil, conniving hoes like me who lose their shit over Disney cartoons.” He says nothing, watching you with an amused grin as you talk over yourself, basically regurgitating his statement from yesterday except it kinda seems plausible now that you’re over it. “It’s stupid. No, you’re stupid. No— I’m stupid.”
Jungkook chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth gently. “Done?” he says, a dimple appearing on his cheek. You could kiss it away, but you need him to know the amount of stupidity in this room was astronomically high. “You’re not stupid, baby,” he says. You level him with a look. “Well. You have your moments.”
“Moments?” you repeat, standing up in a hurry that has him flopping down beside you. Your laptop is lost somewhere on the cushions, the voices faded as they grow farther away. “I am so stupid. I called Namjoon a whore for taking you out for lunch!” you cry. “I am the stupidest person in the world.”
Jungkook cackles, standing up beside you. “Yes, yes, you’re my stupid girl,” he teases, tapping the pout on your lips playfully. “So stupid she slanders herself instead of just telling me she loves me too.” He bumps your noses together, dark eyes staring at you almost daringly after his claim.
You fold soon enough. “I love you,” you mumble, “even if I’m too stupid to say it.”
He rewards your confession with a kiss, pulling you into his arms soon after. He sighs, almost wistfully. “Whatever shall I do with my very stupid girl?”
After exactly three minutes of feeling safe and loved in his arms, he abandons the living room in favor of leading you back to your room, where he pushes you down against your mattress. You cling to him, leaving him positioned over you at an angle. His chest presses against yours, arm curled around the back of your head. “Gotta get up, baby,” he laughs.
You shake your head, caging him in your arms. “Nuh-uh,” you murmur, legs wiggling when he places a hand on your hip.
Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear. “Your movie is still playing in the other room,” he reminds you, thumb drawing soothing circles on your hip. You don’t release him, his mindless touch only encouraging you to keep him close. “Babe?”
You say nothing, relishing in the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. His hair smells good and feels even softer against the side of your face. The cotton shirt he found is crumpled beneath your fists, dark blue pattern wrinkling. Finally coming to terms with his new home, Jungkook eventually relaxes into your hold with a sigh.
“Alright,” he hums, patting your hip as he repositions himself more comfortably. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh?” You nod, soaking in every detail about him in this moment. Jungkook shifts, the hand on your hip suddenly falling over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my stupid girl?” he purrs, hand slipping between your thighs. “My stupid, little girl?”
A gasp catches in your throat when he runs his fingers over the front of your panties. Your legs kick out wildly at the sudden touch, toes curling at the hands you dreamt about all day and night. “Oh,” you pant, each brush of his fingers feeling better than the last.
“What?” he says, mouthing against the side of your neck. His tongue feels warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “Too dumb to speak?” he scoffs, biting down against a particular spot on your neck. You whimper, unsure if it’s because of his hands or his mouth.
“N-No,” you try to sneer back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands are getting braver now, the pad of his pointer finger dancing over your engorged clit. The sheer material of your panties certainly doesn’t help, each touch feeling like it’s being magnified three times over. And if it felt this good with underwear, you can’t even begin to imagine how it’d feel without.
You don’t have to ponder for long, because soon after Jungkook is slipping his hand beneath your waistband, touching your sensitive pussy head-on. “Kook.”
He uses your momentary vulnerability to ease himself from your hold, finally recoiling enough to smother your mouth with his. You moan in surprise, thighs quivering as he gets to work circling your hardened bud sans your panties. Jungkook isn’t the least bit kind as he kisses you ruthlessly, likes he’s trying to compensate for something with his movements. When he finally pulls away it’s with an obnoxious pop and cherry red lips. He huffs, glancing down to see where he’s got his fingers pleasuring you.
Your thighs are squirming back and forth, closing around his hand every few seconds. Jungkook snorts. “Huh, look at that,” he mutters, trailing down until his fingers are gliding over your quickly sopping folds. “Stupid girl is good for something.”
Your cheeks burn. “Kook, I’m not—“
Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed glare. “Not what? Not stupid? But I could’ve sworn you just spent the last few minutes saying you were,” he drones meanly, landing one light slap against your cunt that makes your hips buck.
You bite down a whimper. “I was just…” you trail off, eyes rolling back when he teases one finger against your opening.
“Kidding?” he supplies. “Well, I wasn’t.” Your heart stutters in your chest, eyes growing wide as he finally pushes himself off of you, propping himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze is dark and unrecognizable. “I think you’re so fucking stupid, doll,” he sneers. “And what are you gonna do about it?”
You should have seen this moment coming, the manifestation of that shiny side of the coin finally reaching its full potential.
While Jungkook wasn’t exactly shy about his interests, he certainly wasn’t tripping over himself to tell you every new kinky thing he wanted to try. You sort of guessed he had some interest in this sort of play a few weeks ago when you watched the Barbie movie at his place. A lot of that night had branded itself into your three am wet dreams, but there was one particular moment that stood out to you. That was you, on your knees, with him condescendingly patting your head. Or just last week, you vaguely remember the term slipping through his lips as he pleasured you with The Bullet Bestie.
The thing about Jungkook was that, until last night, he would have never admitted, or so much as even thought, that he was better than you. That was fine because you would say it enough for the both of you anyway. Did you think Jungkook was amazing, an absolute diamond among these measly rocks? Absolutely. (Were you slightly biased because you were his girlfriend? Skip.) However, you also had this insane evil villain complex that made you want to brag about everything you possibly could, especially if that meant bragging about your boyfriend.
Realistically speaking, he was better than you, that much you could look past yesterday’s anger to admit, and not even in a stuck-up, conceited way; he had a really good job, an architecturally amazing house, and a hot girlfriend. Meanwhile, you had a mediocre job, an okay apartment, and an insanely sexy Calvin Klein boyfriend, half of which he had pointed out yesterday. Regardless of how powerful that third factor was, he still outnumbered you three to one.
Sue you, Jungkook was amazing. Anyone could see that! Except, maybe, himself.
And if the only time Jungkook would openly brag about his greatness or establish how much better than you he was, was in a post-fight, sex-induced setting, then you were more than happy to be his punching bag. So long as it was on your terms, and not as a result of his weirdly bottled up feelings.
(Yeah, you would have a long talk about that tomorrow.)
But for now, you pout up at him, clamping your thighs shut purposefully. “You’re stupid too,” you defend, “stupid and mean.”
Something in his expression changes. Suddenly, he’s moving at superhuman speed as he snatches his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. “Mean?” he mocks. “Isn’t that what you always wanted?” You shiver, fingers wrapping around the wrist that holds your sweater. “Wanted me to be mean and push you around like a little rag doll?”
Jungkook looks at you for another two seconds, before he’s slowly pulling away from you, leaning back on his knees. His tongue is pressing against the inside of his cheek, jaw tightening from the movement. “Baby,” he says so quietly it instills a prickle of fear in you, tainted with delicious excitement.
“Yeah?” you whisper, sitting up tentatively as you watch him, He was a bit frightening, like a wild animal about to devour you whole.
Jungkook rolls his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins tugging off his shirt. You salivate at the sight, too focused on the sinewy muscles of his body to catch the dark gaze he levels your way. He throws it off to the side, his sleeve of tattoos that wraps around his bicep and begins to crawl down his chest wonderfully unobstructed now. “Eyes up here,” he says and you quickly meet his gaze. He leans forward, muscled arms coming to cage you against the headboard. “Stupid little sluts don’t have the room to make such comments,” he rasps out, unamused expression adorning his normally soft features. “Don’t you think so?”
“I-I don’t know,” you stammer, leaning away as he comes closer and closer, eventually just turning your head to the side to avoid that emotionless look. It’s the wrong move, and Jungkook lets you know as much by forcefully digging his fingers into your cheeks and turning your face back around to meet his gaze.
A hand grabs beneath your knee, tugging harshly until you’re flopping down onto your back with a squeal. You settle with his knee pressed hotly against your core. Jungkook stays towering over you. “Dumb little girls who make me watch cartoons,” he spits, tracing a hand over your chest, molding your breasts beneath his hands roughly enough to make you gasp. “And watch little animal movies on Disney+. Aren’t they just so stupid?”
“So stupid,” you concede, subtly shifting your hips for some desperately needed friction. Jungkook snorts, finally granting you your wish with one rough slide of his thigh against your core.
“I agree,” he says, and surprises you with a hand around your throat as he leans in to properly grind his thigh into you. “All they’re good for is being dumb little sluts with good pussy,” he murmurs darkly, thumb pressing into the side of your neck forcefully. “Sometimes, they don’t even do anything,” Jungkook continues, his other hand on your hip hauling you higher up his thigh. You mewl, soaked panties rubbing roughly against your folds. You miss the soft swirl of his thumb, the gentle prod of his fingers. Even so, you can’t deny this change in Jungkook is doing something to you, riling up a part of you that you hadn’t known existed. Maybe it’s the horniness from yesterday that was left unfulfilled, the one year anniversary sex that was put on pause. “Just lay there and take it, too fucked out and dumb to say anything.”
His fingers loosen for the briefest of seconds and you gasp for breath. “That’s terrible,” you whimper, rolling your hips up into his thigh, so close to his swollen cock.
Jungkook chuckles without an ounce of humor, pressing your foreheads together as he helps grind you to completion. “Isn’t it? I think that stupid little girl is cute though.”
“I’m sorry,” you blurt, vision spotting as he tightens his hand back around your throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you moan, stomach tight from all the stimulation.
Jungkook hums, slowing you down with a tight grip on your waist. “Hm, what are you sorry for?” he croons, pink lips pulling into an evil smile. “You said you weren’t that stupid girl, __.”
You shake your head, trying to roll your hips up again but he’s holding you too tightly now, rendering you immobile beneath him. “I am,” you choke out shamefully, grabbing at the hand on your hip in a feeble attempt to remove it. “I am a stupid little girl.”
Jungkook smirks, leaning down to slot his mouth over yours. “That’s right,” he murmurs, “nothing but a dumb little slut.”
You shiver, opening your mouth when he slides his tongue against your bottom lip. He’s not the slightest bit nice, and more messy than usual. He pulls away with a bite to your lower lip, meeting your trembling gaze with that same unrecognizable glint in his eyes. “Come on, dummy, keep up,” he snarks before devouring you again. You try to, you really do, but he’s moving like an animal today, despite his slow and drunken movements from that morning. So you end up with his saliva dripping down your throat, clinging to the corners of your lips as he begins slowly grinding you against his thigh again. He flashes you a wicked smile, pearly teeth on display for you as he glances down at your messy appearance.
“Are you gonna touch me?” you ask, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook purses his lips together in thought.
“Mmm,” he hums. “Don’t know yet.”
You whine. “Jungkook, please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”
Jungkook chuckles, running his hand up your waist and taking your shirt with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouths at your neck. “Cute,” he says. “Can’t do it yourself?”
You tremble, chest arching into him as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gasp. “Just feels better with you.”
Jungkook follows your statement with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”
Your cheeks heat up at his blatant ego rearing its head, hands carding through the hair at the nape of his neck. You say nothing, and that only eggs Jungkook on. “Come onnn,” he teases, finally, finally rolling his hips down onto your core. You squeak, head falling back against the pillows as you’re granted the one thing you’d been chasing. “Say it.”
“Say what?” you ask, voice wobbly as he continues to slowly rut against you, the front of his shorts pressing against the soaked crotch area of your panties. “Oh, oh, Jungkook,” you whine.
Suddenly he bites down harshly, teeth digging painfully into your skin. You yelp in surprise, pussy throbbing at the pain that shoots throughout your body. Jungkook pulls away and doesn’t bother soothing over it as he leans up to capture your jaw this time. “Say you’re a stupid little slut who can’t do anything without me,” he purrs, kisses too soft for the words he says.
Your mind blanks, torn between the humiliating phrase he wants you to say and properly checking him in his place. In the end, it’s with a twisted need to please him that you’re repeating the words back to him. “I-I’m a stupid slut,” you whimper, fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he continues pushing you right along the edge. The rope pulled tightly in your core is slowly being pulled apart, threads hanging on for dear life. “Can’t... can't do anything without...”
“Without who?” he asks, reaching down and untying the front of his shorts. “Can’t do anything without who, baby?”
“Without you, without you,” you cry, bucking your hips up against his, the combined movements of both your bodies making you shake like a leaf. “Ah, K-Kook,” you wail, hips stuttering as your orgasm finally swallows you up. Your panties quickly grow wet and icky from your own arousal that pools between your thighs. Jungkook lets you writhe beneath him as you chase your high, mouth sucking a pretty blossom against your jaw.
You know better than to expect the night to end here, especially after seeing the glint that had been in his eyes as he watched you unravel.
He leans close, let’s his nose brush against yours as you catch your breath. “So perfect for me,” he groans, slotting his lips against yours. You can barely keep up with him, languidly going along with his hot tongue. “Perfect, perfect girl,” he murmurs, a stark change from the less than friendly adjectives he used just moments before. “Tell me you love me?” he says softly.
You nod, mind fuzzy as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Love you,” you exhale, letting your fingers knot in his hair. Your proclamation does something to him, makes him grind the front of his cotton shorts hard against you. For someone that was often rough and brutal with you in bed, he sure was sensitive to the mushiest of things.
“Don’t deserve you,” he huffs, hot breath fanning across your skin. He switches gears fairly quickly. “Tell me you hate me,” he begs hoarsely, rutting against your soiled panties. “Tell me I’m a piece of shit and you could do better without me,” he pleads, voice too airy to be another one of his usual sex-induced thoughts.
You shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he rolls his hips. “It’s not true,” you whisper, “I love you more than you’ll ever understand.”
Jungkook groans, suddenly winding back and tearing your ruined panties down your legs. You gasp in surprise, letting him haul you about in his blind, self-inflicted rage. “Stupid, stupid,” he huffs, though at this point you can’t tell who it’s directed at. With your underwear out of the way, he wastes no time plunging his fingers back into your cunt, bypassing the tight ring of muscle around it without any of his usual care. “You should hate me,” he snarls, lips pressed against your ear.
You moan, back arching at the sudden pleasure that blossoms between your thighs. “I-I don’t,” you gasp, toes curling.
Jungkook groans, the sound traveling down your spine and straight into your pussy. “Stupid girl,” he huffs, slipping an arm around you to pull you so close until you can’t breathe, chests lined up together. His skin is warm to the touch, scorching almost. “Fuck,” he groans, curling his fingers inside of you. You whimper and moan, incapable of staying still beneath him as he tortures you with a thumb to your clit. “Tell me you hate me,” he seethes again.
Despite the fog that’s settled over your mind, you still manage a resolute shake of your head. “N-no,” you cry, digging your nails into his back. They run dark red lines over his skin, making him hiss at the sting.
Whatever punishment he’s trying to put himself through is falling through with your refusal to admit such a thing. It aggravates him even more, your adamant stance on loving him so, and he’s retracting his fingers before you can cum again. “Please,” he chokes, face tucked into your neck. He’s sloppy with his movements; as he pulls his shorts down and kicks them away, he nearly suffocates you with his weight. “I don’t deserve you, ___, please.”
“I love you,” you whimper for lack of explanation. Jungkook leans back, that same madman gaze in his glossy eyes. He’s looking at you in disbelief almost, pouty lips puckered and swollen. Your hands slip from around him, falling on either side of your head.
Like a cobra he strikes, collecting your wrists in one hand he pins above your head. The sudden movement has him leaning in close, lips brushing over yours. His lashes are coated in a wetness he refuses to acknowledge, looking at you like you drive him insane. “If you ever try to leave me,” he whispers, jerky breath fanning over your skin, “I’ll lose my mind.”
He loves you so much it aches.
“I won’t,” you whimper, feeling your own eyes well up with an emotion that consumes every inch of your being. “I’ll never leave you, you stupid, stupid boy.”
A faint smile crosses his features at your words, lips quirking to the side. You relish in it for all of two seconds before he’s ramming his cock into you, your sensitive walls spawning around him. You sob loudly, eyes rolling back into your head. Your legs instinctively hook themselves around his waist, digging into the base of his spine as he rolls his hips into you.
You feel full and complete like he belongs there in this moment and every moment after this. It makes your heart constrict painfully. Jungkook’s soft groans follow your more unraveled noises, the vulgar slapping of skin on skin the underlying melody to it all. “Ffffuck,” he spits, greedily swallowing your moans up. You whine, arms bucking in an effort to hold him close. But he’s determined in his act of restraining you, long fingers tightening around your wrists until they hurt. “I warned you, didn’t I?” he huffs, snapping his hips into you.
Your walls clench around his hard cock, the drag as he exits sending shivers throughout your body. Jungkook’s body towers over you, glistening in sweat as he nails you into your mattress. “Remember what I said?” he asks, voice but a shuddery exhale. You shake your head numbly, overwhelmed by the rough drag across your walls. “All those months ago, when you first came over,” he adds. The hand on your hip abandons its post to cup you beneath the jaw, palm pressing sinfully against your throat enough to block the tiniest of airflow. “I’ll fuck you and keep you forever,” he murmurs, voice deeper than the pits of hell. He licks a fat stripe over your cheek like you’re nothing but a sweet for him to devour. “Do you remember that, pretty girl?”
You nod jerkily, hips arching up into him when he thrusts into you again. It’s a memory that replays in your mind every so often, your first night with the man you had planned to humiliate over a mere misunderstanding, now your boyfriend of one year. “Want that,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision when he begins picking up the pace. “Wanna be y-your pretty girl forever.”
Jungkook groans, kissing the corner of your mouth. His thighs are some magnificent beings, keeping his pace consistent even as he loses himself in his overwhelming need to kiss you. “Always,” he manages, soft lips pressed against yours. “I won’t ever let you leave.”
A shriek tears itself from your lips as he picks up that harsh piston, releasing your jaw to hold both wrists above your head. It makes his curls dangle in front of his eyes, covering that beautiful dark gaze. It makes his thin little necklace swing back and forth too, though it’s too small to actually touch your face. The rhythmic swing has you hypnotized, just like everything else about Jungkook.
With the length of his hair, you’re left staring at his lips, pulled taut between his pearly white teeth. The word from before sits heavy in your chest, begs to drip from the tip of your tongue. But he’s moving too fast and too hard, scrambling your thoughts until all you can think about is the cock plunging into your heat. His name falls from your mouth like mindless blubber instead, arms thrashing as your second orgasm swallows you up. It sends you crashing, body spasming as the sheer euphoria waves over you slowly and then all at once.
“Perfect,” he grunts, leaning down to slot his mouth against yours, “my perfect girl.” Your cum makes the sound of his hips erotic, the loud squelching following your panting. Still sensitive from your high, your body unconsciously tightens around him, keeps his cock from fully leaving. It brings a soft whine out of Jungkook, one he tries to muffle against the side of your face.
“Inside,” you whimper, even though your body feels like jelly beneath him. “Cum inside, Kook, please,” you beg.
It only takes a few more thrusts into your leaking hole for him to finally reach paradise, hips stuttering when that first shot of pleasure hits him. “Fuck, fuck,” he growls, wildly snapping his hips into your achy cunt. You moan, feeling just about brainless at the overstimulation. His cum leaves you full, almost makes your belly bulge from it. When he’s done he doesn’t bother pulling away, simply slumping into your limp form. His cock, though quickly softening, serves as a plug for the cum threatening to spill out of you.
There’s a muted noise coming from the other room, the faint sound of the mail slipping through your letterbox, the quiet chattering of the street outside. And of course, the loud blaring of your laptop playing the Phineas and Ferb theme song. Jungkook registers it at about the same time as you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.
He pushes off of you soon after, leaning on his palms over you. He’s got that molten look on his eyes, the heat of a thousand suns burning behind those irises as he looks at you. Like he can’t get enough, even though he’s just about taken everything there is to take. “Love you,” he murmurs quietly.
A drop of sweat rolls over his forehead, clinging to the end of his eyebrow. You reach up and brush it away, let your hand trail down his face to cup his cheek. Immediately he leans into the touch, eyes falling half shut. “Love you more,” you respond.
“Impossible,” he scoffs.
Soon after you’re both stumbling out of bed, clothes haphazardly shrugged back on as you drift through the living room. There’s a thin, hot pink package sitting at the door, just having slipped through the letterbox; the stark Sexuality Unleashed logo is printed on the visible side, so you have to wonder what Doyeon could have possibly ordered this time that could be so thin. The laptop is awkwardly sandwiched next to a throw pillow, barely open a crack. Jungkook retrieves it, sets it on his lap as you scamper over to the couch.
“More Phineas and Ferb?” he asks quietly. He hates it, you know he does. And still, he wants to watch it with you.
You nod. “Please.”
He isn’t so concerned with the plot as you, clicking some random episode to start. You snuggle into his side, quietly singing along to the opening. After a moment, Jungkook speaks again. “Phineas and Flirt?” he offers cheekily.
You roll your eyes. “That might’ve been your worst one yet,” you sigh, trying to drown out his indignant huff by focusing on the screen.
“I don’t exactly see you coming up with these,” he points out, obviously feeling wronged.
Without missing a beat you say, “Disney+ and bust.”
epilogue
commercial break one ; the resolution
Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.
#goldenclosetnet#networkbangtan#bangtanhq#ksmutclub#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jeongguk smut#jjk smut#jeongguk smut#bts smut#jjk♡#jeon jungkook#mine
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contextualizing lwj’s coming to terms with his feelings subplot!
i wanna talk about the role of confucianism in this subplot because i think it’s something some western fans might not pick up on. basically, the sociopolitical climate of confucianism in his character arc, and a little bit about his interaction with the public image theme.
disclaimer: i’m not chinese but i do have a double minor in chinese and asian studies and have written a few papers on confucianism.
we’re gonna be talking about the novel bc i feel its a little more in-depth and nuanced than lwj’s “what is black, what is white” monologue in cql. namely the tension and misunderstanding in wwx’s first life and how lwj got his scars. i feel like it’s pretty well accepted that wwx made lwj reconsider his world view, so i’m just gonna expand on it. also i want to point out it's pretty unspoken in most of the text, but lwj is also affected by/used to explore the public image themes, as his image the is ideal confucian scholar.
confucianism is centered around the ideas of how to behave “good” in sociopolitical contexts. basically it boils down to a belief system on how society should be run. if everyone follows confucian beliefs, you will have an ideal society. the main text is the Analects, which you can read here. it’s been around for a few thousand years (like around 200 BCE ish), had a huge revival in the tang dynasty (618-907 CE). it was put on imperial exams, the emperor’s cabinet had confucian scholars, etc. this is just to say confucian values are important to historic society, especially upper-class scholars, which seems to be a role cultivators commonly fill in xianxia. here are some basic tenants:
being a gentleman/scholar/superior man (君子 jūn zǐ) : partly being learned in the arts, literature, music, poetry, etc., mostly behaving righteously and dutifully.
filial piety: usually described as obedience. it's not simply obeying everything elders tell you, it includes doing it with reverence and thankfulness for their sacrifices for you.
leading by example: if leaders/the government is righteous, the people will follow. lwj has his flock of juniors that are all strong cultivators and the lan sect is just generally known for being moral and good.
rites/rituals: a focus on politeness and holding proper ceremonies, sacrifices, and funerals
speech: there’s some great meta about the register he speaks in here, i just want to touch on think carefully before you speak, only speak sincerely, etc.
tldr; lwj is THE perfect gentleman (even his title contains the character suffix 君 -jūn, like lxc. which, while this character is not uncommon for cultivator titles, it wasn’t chosen carelessly either. also not to be confused with 尊 -zūn). seriously, look at almost all of book 10 and you'll see don't do/consume in excess, don't talk during meals, sit only when your mat is straight, etc.
okay, so Why is understanding his feelings for wwx so troublesome?
1.2 "They are few who, being filial and fraternal, are fond of offending against their superiors. There have been none, who, not liking to offend against their superiors, have been fond of stirring up confusion... Filial piety and fraternal submission! - are they not the root of all benevolent actions?"
in other words, people who are filial will never create political tension. so like, morally, wwx should be considered horrible person! he’s not only snubbed the jiang sect. he was a head disciple who undoubtedly had younger students looking up to him. and then he goes and stirs up some huge political issues! he is now a bad role model for the people below him and disrespected the people above him. lwj has an entire image to uphold, he has poured his entire life into following these rules and beliefs, and then wwx comes along. would continuing to be in wwx's life taint lwj? there are some contradicting teachings in regards to interacting with wwx:
15.4: "Do not take counsel with those who follow a different Way"
15.28: "When the multitude hates a person, you must examine them and judge for yourself. The same holds true for someone whom the multitude love."
15.36 "When it comes to being Good, defer to no one, not even your teacher."
this is part of the reason lwj had so much trouble accepting his feelings. he didn’t know how to handle this situation, making him appear distant during/directly after sunshot. if he judges wwx's intentions to be pure, it's then not wrong to be friendly with him. but wwx still is morally wrong by society's standards. now, lwj has to not only figure out his feelings, but also reconcile this with how he still thinks wwx is Not a bad person, despite everything. what if he does get "tainted" by wwx? will it hurt the reputation of his sect? that would be un-filial, right? he spent his whole life memorizing rules that are probably extremely similar to sections in the Analects, and now these mixed messages (coupled with the relatable gay panic) are overwhelming.
onto the next! there’s something unspoken in the scene where wwx discovers why lwj has the whip scars. as other posts have mentioned, lwj taking wwx back to the burial mounds and nursing him is high treason. however, this action is also extremely un-filial. also his entire image is built around being a perfect gentleman, if this were to get out to the public he would lose absolutely everything. he would be just as irreparable as wwx.
“I was worried if those from another sect found you first, WangJi would be considered your accomplice. The best scenario was his name being forever tainted, and the worst was his life being taken away right then. Thus, along with Uncle, we chose thirty three seniors who had always thought highly of WangJi... ”
there’s no way lwj didn’t know what would happen if he did this. obviously as lxc says, if this got out, he would lose basically his entire face. and even though lxc didn’t mention this, it would definitely lose a lot of face for the lan sect as well since lwj is so prominent. the decision about what elders to bring is also notable.
“...As if he knew all along he would be discovered by us, he said that there was nothing to explain, that this was it. Growing up, he had never talked back to Uncle, not even once. But for you, not only did WangJi talk back to him, he even met with his sword the cultivators from the Gusu Lan sect...”
so yeah, he obviously knew they would come for him and what the consequences would be. and he still talked back! that’s already not a good look for the lan sect. but attacking them? totally unforgivable! lwj gives up how he was raised and the importance of filial piety, what he has held on to until this major plot event. since it's basically the biggest "fuck you" to his uncle and his clan, this was not a decision he made lightly. lwj shows them he cares more about wwx and His Own ideas of right and wrong than the sect’s or society’s.
Wei WuXian dug his hands into his hair, “...I-I didn’t know... I really...”
when was the last time wwx was at a loss for words? wwx spends a few paragraphs after this lamenting how he hurt lwj, but he's not unaware of the gravity of what lwj did. it's an underlying assumption from being raised in the culture. i would argue his first instinct is "oh god he gave up what for me?" since those lamenting paragraphs are after lxc finishes speaking.
"But he said... that he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong..."
this is something thrown around a lot in the Analects, that not even confucius can say for sure what is right or wrong. what better way to show lwj is still a perfect confucian than have him paraphrase confucius himself?
“...WangJi was a model for the disciples when he was young, and a prominent cultivator when he grew up. In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate--you were the only mistake he made!”
here’s the confirmation that the world and even his family thinks of him as a perfect gentleman, the top tier of society, and it was all thrown away for wwx. this is just so heavy. the mistake thing? thats not only because lwj is fraternizing with an enemy. lxc and the rest of the sect who knew are terrified this will forever corrupt lwj personally, not just publicly. lwj was so devoted to believing this was the right thing to do he offered up everything he had. the gravity of this decision is insane. it’s very obvious that he loves wwx, it’s just that he struggles a lot internally to accept everything that is happening.
as for helping wwx leave after the massacre, is this gentleman-ly of lwj? was it actually in-line with his image? is it more honorable to save someone who is dying, at the cost of your own health, than to look away? isn't looking away a form of resentment? i wasn't able to find a specific passage about bystander-ness, but personally i think it qualifies as "bad intentions." there is also this passage for what it's worth, originally it was about government suppression:
12.19: "...What do you say to killing the unprincipled for the good of the principled?" Confucius replied, "...why should you use killing at all?..."
lwj is always more actions than words, and he was not fucking around. his core beliefs really haven't changed, and remain very strong throughout his life. he is still righteous enough to accept his punishment, graceful enough to search for wwx's body since there was no one else to do the funeral rites (10.22/10.15), caring enough to take in a-yuan, upright enough to still spend his years going where the chaos is.
just with this one action, the audience knows he has come to terms with realizing that authority isn't always just, and neither is the public opinion/opinion of other gentlemen. he has reconciled. this is him standing for what he believes is right. this is his devotion. this is his own choice. just. poetic cinema...
anyway that's it for my first meta post! i would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, opinions, discussions, other meta ideas, whatever! thank u for reading! <3
#its My post and i get to pick the subplot#i have...brainworms#wwx and lwj are foils in the public image theme change my mind#mdzs#mdzs meta#lan wangji#mo dao zu shi#stfu#meta
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To Heaven and Back: Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader
synopsis: Surfing isn't always done on the water.
wc: 1.5k
tw: NSFW (minors DNI)
“You did pretty well out there,” you hear over your shoulder, and you turn to face the handsome surfing instructor that happened to be your friend’s brother-in-law. “You’re a friend of Nissa’s?”
“Yeah,” you begin, pushing your wet locks behind your face. “But you know she’s not coming. She backed out because her company has a major presentation due this week, and I’m heading back tomorrow morning.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.” Geto Suguru shrugs, placing his surfboard against the wall before pulling a lever that releases clean, fresh water over his entire body. You watch the rivers of water run from his hair and down his back, where bunches of muscles you can’t even name gathered together and made a path for the water to travel down past his waist and to his shorts. “Are you staying in the beach house?”
“Y-yeah,” you answer, eagerly trying to find something - anything - to get your mind off of the hunk in front of you, like the fact that your legs are getting tanner.
“Do you mind if I stay over for the night before I drive back to the mainland? I mean, it’s our parent’s beach house, but I don’t know if you want privacy or…”
“No, that’s cool!” you blurt, maybe a little too excitedly.
He turns to face you, smiling widely and making the shaka sign with his right hand. “Right on.”
_____________________________________________________________
The hot water from the shower soothes your aching muscles and you sigh, thankful the water hadn’t gone cold yet. You let Geto go before you as a sign of goodwill, hoping he wouldn’t take too long in the only bathroom you had available.
But when he came out in a towel and nothing else, you averted your eyes, praying to the higher powers that be in your head like a madwoman. It would be your fate that you were going to be stuck with him on your last night, but you quickly push those thoughts aside. Nothing would happen between the two of you. He was your friend’s brother-in-law.
You emerge from the shower and wrap a towel around your figure, padding into the master bedroom and digging through your suitcase for something suitable to wear.
And that’s when you hear it.
A pained groan.
Instantly, worry sets into your mind and you forget you’re in a towel. You follow the sound of the groan to the guest bedroom, and you peek into the room, hoping Geto wasn’t hurt.
He’s standing at the dresser, facing away from you with the towel at his feet. You realize he’s fully naked, his face screwed up in concentration with his eyes closed and his hand… his hand is… his hand is moving…
“Fuck, y/n…” he moans, and for a moment, you think you’re caught, but his eyes are still closed and you--
“Achoo!”
Your head bangs against the door, knocking it wide open, and Geto whips around, eyes wide; shocked, and slightly embarrassed at the sight of you in a towel. In his doorway. You stare at each other in silence, unsure of what to say to ease the tension in the room. You look down to his still erect cock and then back up at him, then you raise your chin slightly, arching a brow.
“Was I on my knees or were you fucking me?” you wonder, and Geto curses, charging up to you like a dog in heat. When he yanks you into the room and slams the door shut, you know you’re in for it, and you climb on the bed expectantly.
One hand goes to your face, holding it as he kisses you roughly, and the other yanks off the towel without hesitation. You don’t speak as he lays you across the bed and fondles your breasts, hoping that his mouth would find your sensitive nipples and stimulate you even further.
“Geto, holy shit,” you whine as his fingers reach between your legs and stroke your clit leisurely. His mouth finally drifts to your breasts and you arch your back slightly, pressing into his face with a sense of urgency. He slides one finger into you, his thumb still rubbing your most sensitive spot, and you groan low in your throat, urging him to do more.
He’s in no rush though, feasting on you like you were the main course and popping your nipples in and out of his mouth at will. The sensory overload is driving you insane, and you writhe beneath him, feeling the heady sensation of an orgasm building relentlessly.
“G-Geto, please…” When he hears your cries, he strokes your clit faster and inserts another finger, stretching you out easily. The orgasm crashes over you like a wave, and you convulse around his fingers violently, exhaling so loud that you can practically hear it echo throughout the beach house.
Before you can even come down fully, though, Suguru already has his cock ready to press into you. “Tell me you want this and I’ll give it to you,” he mutters, and you nod eagerly. “Use your words, ku`u lei,” he urges you, and you pant,
“Please, yes.”
The stretching that ensues is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Your mouth opens into an “o” at the feeling, not out of pain, but out of an overabundance of stimulation. Every vein, every pulse, every twitch… you can feel it tenfold. He thrusts into you slowly, lips coming down to yours and kissing you deeply as he moves within you carefully. But before long, your legs relax against the bed, and Suguru takes that as a sign that you want more. He presses your legs back with his hands and grips the backs of your knees before leaning onto them, pressing his entire length into you.
“You like that?” he breathes in your ear, and all you can do is mewl at the sounds of his breathing as he fucks you stupid. He hums and kisses your cheek, the sounds of slapping skin picking up again. “Fuck, this is some good shit.” You exhale and inhale rapidly, unsure if your lack of breath is because you’re overstimulated or if you’re just really into the way he’s got you pinned underneath him, but whatever it is… he’s got you down bad.
The bed is creaking angrily and your legs are shaking, but it seems neither of you cares. Neither of you wants it to end. But a shudder rips through you, and Geto feels it in the spasms of your cunt around his cock.
“Tighten up like that again and I might just--” He’s cut off by you doing it again, and he grunts, his strokes becoming sloppy and rushed, almost as if he’s about to cum. “Shit,” he groans, and you feel the twitching of his cock inside of you as your orgasm peaks, pushing you to the edge again. You both lose your minds in the beach house, moaning loud enough to startle the birds outside as you cum.
_____________________________________________________________
“I take it the three-day vacation was great,” Nissa mentions before shoving a bite of pie in her mouth, standing over your kitchen island. It had been a few weeks since you’d been on the island, but every single night you were reminded of the afternoon you spent on your back.
“Oh, it was fun,” you reply, trying not to let her see your face as you put the pie in the fridge. “I had a great time.”
“Did you go surfing with my brother-in-law?”
“Yeah, that was cool.” You conveniently leave out that he fucked your brains out twice and then cooked you breakfast before the shuttle took you off to the airport, hoping she wouldn’t prod any further.
“Oh, did I tell you he’s in town for the next two weeks?” You spin around, facing her with a confused look.
“Oh?” Nissa breaks into a grin, wiggling her eyebrows.
“And he asked if he could see you at some point…” The doorbell rings at that moment, and you inhale deeply, your face twisting into shock.
“No, Nissa. You didn’t.”
“Anyways, I have to go! Company business calls, you know.” Nissa sashays to the front door of your townhome, then puts her hand on the knob. “Oh, I wonder who it could be?” You try to stop her from opening it, but she gets it open regardless, and you see Geto Suguru standing in the doorway, eyes flicking between the two of you.
“Hey, Nissa. Didn’t know you’d be over here…” he rubs the back of his neck, his black hair tied up behind his head. “Hey, y/n.”
You tug at the edges of your shirt dress, trying to smooth your untamed curls back behind your face. “Hey, Geto.”
“I was just leaving. You’re cool with being left alone with Geto for a bit, right, y/n?” Nissa doesn’t wait for your answer before leaving the townhome, getting into her car, waving, and then driving off.
You turn back to Geto, who is grinning slyly.
“Put your shoes on and come on. I want to take you out for lunch.”
“Lunch?”
“I mean unless you want me to skip straight to the part where I’m eating you for dessert, which is fine.” Your stomach leaps at the sound of that, and you grab your shoes by the door and your keys.
“Where are you taking me?” you ask, and he watches you lock the door before whispering in your ear,
“To heaven and back, if you’ll let me.”
_____________________________________________________________
TAGLIST: @jotazinha @brownskinnedgirll @leanne-tamashi @amaris9 @vabybizzle @missbonekitty
(IF I MISSED YOU, PLEASE TELL ME/ FORGIVE ME)
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