#anyways if it isn't actually her birthday just call me silly or something | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

letswrites · 6 months ago

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LN- all roads lead to you

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Masterlist

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Chapter 3: São Paulo

The clock sound burned her ears. If there was something in life that she loved was to sleep. She turned to the left side where Giaro's body slept the night before. He wasn't there anymore, maybe because he knew how to respect the hour of his appointments. Not that he needed to. With that face of his, everyone could tolerate him being late. She stretched her arm, reaching for her iPhone to finally stop that damn sound. Finally. She took a deep breath and exhaled in relief. Her messages app was full of texts: people from the photograph studio, a few friends, clients, her brothers, Giaro:

'Have a meeting today. Had to leave earlier to wash my hair. Call you later, xx'

She smiled, if he said he would call, he would. She continued to scroll: Martin was composing a new song, Louis invited her to ski, Daniel made a strawberry pie... An unknown number sent her a file. Weird. It could be a virus or a scam, but she opened it anyway.

'Hope we can see each other again soon ;)'

Was written with a linked file of tickets for São Paulo along with one for Brazilian GP. "What the heck..." she mumbled clicking on the file to see if that was real. "So he thinks that he can buy my attention with first class flights for a tropical country and a VIP pass to formula 1?" she thought. That was a silly thing for him to think. But also meant Lando wanted to see her again. But not in Mexico.

'Don't want your other ladies to see me with you in Mexico? Lol

She replied, already ignoring the invitation in her mind. Nobody could buy her attention. She placed her phone on the mattress and went to a calming morning bubble tub bath.

She prepared the tub for her bath with Indian jasmine bath salt, Victoria's Secret honey & lavender body scrub, and added some petals for finishing, then went back to the room to have a book when her phone started to ring. Lando. Her heart stopped for 3 seconds then started to beat like crazy. She grabbed the phone and picked it up. "You know you should be flattered. I rescheduled all of them for next year only to see you in Brazil" "I... them?" "the hypothetical 'other ladies' you mentioned" She took a deep breath "This is very comforting" she said ironically and he pictured her rolling her eyes. He chuckled "I'm just kidding. Daniel told me you are in Amsterdam till next week. But if you can make it I will be happy to welcome you at the paddock in Mexican lands. Just let me know". She arched an eyebrow, it was too much kindness coming from him. She didn't forget about Austin yet "He's right. I'm stuck here with work. But I don't know...." "Why not?" "Don't you think Brazil is a little too far?" "But it will be my birthday!" He pouted "I'm pouting right now" she giggled, how good it was to hear her giggle "I will think about it" "You have the VIP pass, use it with wisdom" "I will". They kept in silence, just listening to each other's breath sound "You know..." He started "It's..." He cleaned his throat "It's good to listen to your voice again" She smiled "Okay" she said almost inaudible "Okay? That's all?" "Yes" "Oh... You're so cold sometimes" He wasn't used to that. Usually, girls would say the same and more for him but she didn't. "Anyhow, will I see you soon?" "2 minutes isn't enough time for thinking" "Right" "Maybe" he grinned "Okay. And I actually meant that" "What?" "Your voice. I really like to listen your voice" she almost could feel the honesty in his tone "thanks Lando. It's nice to hear you think I have a nice-hearable voice. Now I have to go, a warm bubble bath waits for me. Bye bye" "By..." Then she hung up. Again. He used to be the one hanging the phone on other people's faces. He could tell she didn't believe him. The bitterness in her 'thank you' was almost tastable. He didn't like that. Which made him want her even more. Was that her game? Play hard for having him hypnotized on her? If it was, it was working well. The poison ran into his bloodstream once and he was asking for more.

São Paulo, Brazil:

November, 10th

In the end, she decided to go. She did some research about Brazil and she ended up curious and passionate about the country, she even learned a few words in Portuguese. She was in the fancy hotel room Lewis booked for her, wearing a white robe and thinking about which movie she would watch. She heard good things about 'Minha mãe é uma peça' and she was interested in practicing the language. She stood up to grab a coconut water box on the minibar when her phone rang. A FaceTime call. "Do you guess every time I'm with nothing but a towel?" "No. But I wish I could" he smirked, she rolled her eyes "What do you want?" "Rude" "I was just about to start relaxing" "Relax? I can help you with that" she blushed "LANDO!" What?" he laughed "Did I say something wrong?" "What do you want??" I heard you decided to come, huh?" "Yeah. Lewis asked me to" "No fucking way you just said that! I can't believe you!" "But it's the truth" "Next time you ask him to pay for your flight and f1 VIP pass" "Did you call for being rude?" "No. I called because I am heading to a football game" "Really?! I love football." He knew, her Instagram was filled with pictures of her in different stadiums and he spent a lot of time on her Instagram page. "Do you?" "Yes! You're lucky, Brazilian football is pretty good" "I've heard. Do you want to join me?" "Two foreigners in a football game?" "I have a local friend with me" "Hum" "Come on! I am wearing my green trainers. I look good in them. You should come and take a look yourself". She smiled, then looked at her bag "What's the team's colors" "Green and..." he asked for someone "White. Green and white" "Are you talking about Palmeiras?" "Yeah! Do you know them?" "Are you kidding me?! They're the Italian team in Brazil! I'm joining you, text me the address" he smiled "I can pick you" "You don't have to, we can meet there" he sighed "I won't change your mind, will I?" "Nope" she said while opening her bag with one hand only "okay, see you there, then" "bye" she hung up again. At least she was coming.

Later that day:

The game was insane. Palmeiras scored 4 goals on Atletico GO. 4. Lando's number. It was a perfect night for him: the game was good, he gave luck to the team, won a jersey, met the players, they signed his new jersey, he also met the coach, invited him to Interlagos... almost perfect, cause he didn't see her. Such a liar! Probably said she was going for him to stop bothering her. Why does she have to be like that?! Unbelievable. But it was not going to stay like that. He was planning already: he would go to her hotel room and stay outside till she finally decided to go out, then he... A light touch took him off his evil thoughts. He turned around and his eyes were filled with a Heavenly vision: she was actually there, wearing a white delicate blouse, military green cargo pants, a white leather bag, and green Vans trainers, she had white glitter on her face and smelled like a flower. She smiled "Nice jersey. Can I also have one?" "S-sure! I buy you one" "Cute" "When did you get here?" "End of first time" "Why you didn't text me?" "I got tickets for a nice place. And you said you were with a friend, didn't want to disturb" "Stop! I invited you which means I wanted to have you here with me" "I am here now" "Yes. You look beautiful by the way" "Thanks! You too" "So, how about the game?" "Amazing! They are incredible" "You saw? 4 points. I'm also 4" "OMG, that's true!" "yeah" she looked at him, then poked his shoulder "You gave them luck" "Yes, I did" she giggled "Wanna walk?" "Sure". They went out of the Allianz Park "So, what happened to you?" "What do you mean?" "You were all grumpy earlier. Now you're giggly. What happened?" "I just did something I enjoy doing" "So that's the trick?" "yes" "I have to learn what more you enjoy doing. What's it?" "There are tones of things" "Come on, name at least three" "Fine. I like photographing, being in the water and fine dinners with nice people" "Do you prefer beach or pool?" "Beach" "you know how to spend your time" "My time is valuable. I really choose how and with who I spend my time carefully" "You're spending your time with me right now" "I know" "So I'm worthy, huh?" "Shut up!" "There's the grumpy you again" "she rolled her eyes "By the way, thanks for invinting me. I really enjoyed the game" "Thanks for coming. Even though we didn't watch it together" she stopped walking "I am here right now" he turned to face her "Yes..." he mumbled, then leaned to kiss her. Fuck. She shouldn't be kissing him. She should be putting a limit on the whole damn thing. Making a line and telling him to not cross it in any circumstances. But, shit, Lando was so charming and was such a good kisser. And worst, she liked him so she couldn't help herself. That way, she kissed him back, grabbed his neck, and pulled the hair on his nape. His hand traveled from her back, to her waist to her hips. Their kiss felt like Heaven, so soft but still intense. When they parted, he smirked and she giggled "I would like to take you out," he said against her lips "What?" "Fine dinner with a nice person" "So you're not coming" "Haha very funny" "It's funny to me" "So, what do you say?" "Will think about it" "Okay... hum, shall we go?" "Sure" they walked back to the stadium in silence, then each of them followed their separate ways.

November, 13th: Lando's bday

Lando's phone rang unstoppably. He tried to ignore it, but the person on the other line persisted. He grumbled, turned to the left, and tried to reach his phone with his eyes still closed. He picked up without even seeing who it was "Good morning, birthday boy" Was he too sleepy or was it her voice? "Am I dreaming or is it really your voice?" "It's actually me. Can we meet?" he took his phone away from his ear: 6:12AM. She had disappeared for the past 2 days and now was calling him at 6:12AM "You know it's only 6:12, right?" "Yes" "6:12! In the morning!" "So?" he pulled his blanket to the side, getting up already "Couldn't you call me an hour later?" "Are you complaining? I can cancel" "No. I'm going, just tell me where" "The lobby" "The lobby?" "Yes" "Of the hotel I'm staying? Or yours?" "Yours" "Okay. Will be there in 20" "20? The princess is going to the spa? Just dress up and come down" "You're delusional if you think I won't shower for seeing you" "Be here in 10" "But..." "Figure it out", then she hung up "That's because it's my birthday, imagine if it wasn't" he complained about her rudeness to himself.

...

6:25 AM:

"It passed 13 minutes!" "I get ready on my time" she chuckled "Happy birthday, Lando!" she showed her hands which were hidden behind her back "You bought me a cake?" "I did. Open it" he opened the white box. It was a beautiful strawberry cake. It had white coating and strawberries at the top in the place of candles. Seems delicious. Thank you" "It was nothing" "Want to share it with me?" "Sure" "Let's go" he offered his hand which she grabbed. He guided them to the elevator "Where are we going?" "Rooftop"'. They were sitting at the hotel's rooftop eating together "São Paulo has a nice view" "Agree" "Aren't you sad for spending your birthday away from your family and friends?" "Nah. I mean, there's not much I can do about it. Also, I'm happy to be here. And for having you by my side" she blushed "I just don't get why you woke me up so early" "You have appointments later. Didn't want our meeting to be rushed" he smiled "Where have you been these last 2 days?" "Touring. Meet up with Lewis too. Why?" "Missed you" "Cute" "Will I see you later?" "Not today" "When, then?" "Tomorrow" he looked at her "I can live with that" she took a small package from her hoodie's pocket "Here. Is a small thing, but hope you like it" he opened it: a Palmeiras keychain. "I adore it. Thank you" she smiled and then laid her head on his shoulder "Did you think about that thing I asked you the other night?" "I am thinking still" "How's it going? How are my chances?" "Very very low" "Damn. Can I do something to try to get my chances higher?" "You can try" he touched her face and pulled it for him, leaving a breathtaking kiss on her lips "So?" "Score for Lando" he laughed and she laid on his shoulder again while they kept looking at the view in a comfortable silence.

November, 14th: Autódromo de Interlagos, São Paulo, Brazil.

"I absolutely love race day" Lewis stated "The energy, especially from Brazilian people, just makes me feel energized" she giggled "You're so cute" he smiled "I will find a bathroom" "Need help?" "No, I'm fine" "Alright. If you need me, give me a call" "Okay". She went out of the bathroom and saw Lando walking alone somewhere. She smiled and decided to follow him. "Hey!" She shouted. Lando turned around "Heya!" She jogged to him and gave him a hug. He pressed her against his body in a tight hug. "So happy to see you. Thought you were runaway again" "Well" she separated from him "I am here, right?" "Thank God" she smiled "I've thought about that invitation" "Which?" "The one you made outside Allianz Park the other day" "About asking you out?" "Yes" "Hum, what about that?" "Guess I'll accept it" he smiled, fully "Really?" "Yes" " Then I'm the happiest man in the world right now" "Stop" she poked his chest lightly. She had her cheeks redder than Ferrari's suit "Someone is blushing" "Oh, God" he chuckled "You look adorable" "Thanks... by the way, what are you doing around here? Shouldn't be getting ready for the race?". He swallowed, then cleaned his throat "I... I was calling Max" "Verstappen?" "Fewtrell" "Oh! Is he okay?" "Yeah, hum... It's just a domestic thing" "Got it" "But it's solved now. Shall we go?" "Sure" and they started to walk together "So... Where are you taking me?" "Where do you want to go?" "Back in the UK?" He nodded "Nobu?" "Aaargh" "What?" "I hate sushi" "What about pasta?" "Yeah, that's better. Also it sounds more you" "So we're having pasta" "Great. Know exactly where to take you" "Good!" "Hey" "Hum" "Meet me later?" "For what?" "I just want to say goodbye. I'm flying to Doha today, so won't see you for a week" "Okay" "Alright. See you later, then"

....

4 hours later: autodrome's exit

She was waiting for him to finish dressing. His phone, watch and wallet were with her. Lando's phone buzzed. She didn't mean to look at it, but the message popped up in front of her eyes. It was from Max Fewtrell:

'How was with the girl?'

Did he talk about her to his best mate? It was very thoughtful of him. When Lando came back she smiled "I'm back "Here's your stuff" "Thanks " he kissed her "Have a great fly" "Thank you. You too" "See you in London, then" "I text you" "Okay" he kissed her forehead and made his way to the vehicle which was transporting him to the airport.

'I can't believe this actually is going to work' she said to herself, daydreaming.

While Lando texted Max back:

'Good. She couldn't even speak English, tho'

'Did you make out by mimics???' ~Max

'Somehow, yes' ~Lando

'LMAO. See you next week, bro' ~Max

'See you' ~Lando

Then, he blocked his phone and laid his head on the seat. "If she finds out, she kills me" he thought.

#lando norris f1 #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris #l4ndo #chapter 4 iscoming soon #f1 #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #chapter 4 is coming soon and it's on 🔥

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nancypullen · 7 months ago

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A Day Off

Hallelujah! What a perfect day. I worked until six o'clock on Wednesday and practically danced out of the library. I have been rotating between the information desk and the circulation desk and the good citizens of this county have worn me out. The last several days have been a bit wonky. There were ten thousand calls asking if we have free eclipse glasses -we didn't, but could direct you to a place that does and/or provide instructions for making your own viewer out of a cereal box and aluminum foil. There was an event giving away free laptops to qualifying residents that was like the last flight out of Saigon. In the words of an unflappable coworker, "There was chaos in every corner of the building." Don't even get me started about Mercury being in retrograde. Like I said, wonky. Saturday was actually quite nice because it was opening day for Little League and there was a parade down Market Street with plenty of cute kids. When I arrived home on Saturday the Edgewater gang showed up and we celebrated Mr. Pullen's birthday. Jamie and I convinced the fellas to accompany us to a greenhouse to hunt for some plants, a greenhouse that the grandgirl said was "in the middle of nowhere". She wasn't wrong. We came home with lots of lovelies for the gardens, a successful trip! This is my favorite picture snapped over the weekend. Tyler and Jamie in a chess battle on the front porch. Never say it's not exciting around here.

I was back to work on Monday (eclipse day) for three busy days, and now I'm free! We delayed our trip to Lancaster for a day to let the bad weather blow through, so we'll leave in the morning, stay over Friday night, and come home later on Saturday. I'm anticipating some fun. Speaking of fun, here's another photo I loved. I'm pretty sure that I'm allowed to post this because she's masked. No one could ever identify her from this photo (and I've been good for six years). I'll delete if they ask. Anyway, this is our little miss on Monday. Isn't it cute pic?

Fast forward to today and I've shed all of the work nonsense and I'm feeling quite content. I spent the entire morning weeding and preparing flower beds, then planting some of the pretties that I picked up at Ball Greenhouses last week. I know I'm early, but these are hardy girls. If Mother Nature turns fickle I'll just be the crazy lady running around tossing sheets over gardens. Wouldn't be the first time. It's a small price to pay for the happiness of today. Working the dirt and dreaming of the blooms to come was good for my soul. I needed this day. Another little something that has recently delighted me is this stuff.

Because I'm at work for nine hours, I have recently become addicted to sugary, fattening, fancy coffee drinks. I'd zip through Starbucks on my lunch break and pick up an iced caramel macchiato , then I started buying the bottles at the grocery store and filling my big sippy cup (that I normally use for water) in the mornings. I was adding way too many calories to my day. So, I searched for a healthier replacement drink that would still give me the boost - and I found it! I'm not on Atkins or Keto or any of those diets, but I definitely appreciate the low sugar/carb count. This protein shake has the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee, with added protein and fiber. It's a win! I can have this for breakfast and feel no guilt. Getcha' some! This post is sort of all over the place, sorry about that. I don't have a lot to say and I didn't sit down with a plan. I just opened my laptop and wanted to say hi. I do miss having more time to spend being silly here. The older I get the less I care about being silly. Look at these cool sunglasses I bought in a little shop in Chestertown. Silly for a woman my age? Yes. Do I care? Absolutely not.

I just notice that my name tag for work is all jacked up by my seatbelt. Hope I straightened that out once I got there, but I don't remember doing it. Oops. Several of you have asked about whether or not I'm enjoying my job. It's complicated. I've mentioned my lovely coworkers, I've mentioned that I'm having fun doing the displays, there are plenty of positives. I'm trying to focus on what I have gained and not what I have lost. I do miss having time for hobbies, doing more than work, eat, sleep, repeat. Of course, as I type this I'm looking ahead to three days off - wonderful! The 16th will mark three months in my position, so I do feel I've given it a fair shake...and I just don't know. I'm really pouring a lot of energy, creativity, and effort into this job and I do feel that it's appreciated. They are very nice to me and pay me adequately. I'm just undecided if it's a fair trade for my freedom. I mostly talk about the fun parts, the nice parts, but there are also the not-so-fun parts. A surprising number of books are returned with bed bugs. We have two large "stink boxes" that are usually full of books returned that reek of everything from cigarette smoke, pot, or just general funk. They sit in there with charcoal rocks until they're bearable. Lots of people are rude, really rude. I got used to that when I was in the airline industry, but it doesn't make it any more pleasant. I could go on, couldn't we all? No job is ever perfect, and in the past I tolerated the unpleasant aspects because I had no choice. I don't have to do that anymore. I've been asked to take on some summer programming work - fun activities with kids, outreach booths at festivals, that sort of thing. I'm looking forward to that, and it's been a while since I've had things to look forward to. Well, that's not true. I've had loads of fun family stuff that happened and even a trip to Ireland in the last year, but as far as having something that gives me a chance to actually use my brain and any meager talents I have - this is the first chance since we left Tennessee. I just wish it wasn't so exhausting. Is that just me being sixty? It's kind of funny that I'm twenty to thirty years older than nearly everyone I work with, but they're all so tired. I don't want to scare them about getting older, but I feel like I should drop hints like, "I hope you like ibuprofen..." or "Enjoy those cute shoes while you can..." Honestly, I work circles around most of them, and I shouldn't. Where is their energy? I have to admit that when I'm shelving, and for some reason all of our shelves have books at floor level (why??), it is not fun getting up and down. I actually love shelving because the more books I touch the more familiar I am with the collection, but that bottom shelf will be the death of me. I snapped this picture last week when I was processing books. Some were going out to other libraries, some had been requested locally and were going on our hold shelf, some were being checked in and returned to our shelves.

That back wall is my work area. To the left you can see some of the 50+ craft bags that I assembled to go home with our little visitors. I love those. They have all of the supplies and instructions needed to complete a small craft. To the right of the craft bags are a couple of shelves of books pulled for mending or labeling. Under the desk are the infamous stink boxes. I wish they'd let me decorate this work room. It needs color and art. It should be pretty. Pretty isn't very important around here. That's definitely something I miss about the south. I put a little bit of the south into one of my small displays. We have a good collection of cookbooks here, so I grabbed a tablecloth and sign from our house, and voila!

This hardly counts as a display - just two pieces of decor and some books, but it's working - people are checking out cookbooks! I swap them out every couple of days to keep it interesting. Here's another little bit of nothing - just pillow stuffing glued to cardstock for clouds, the raindrops are cardstock and string. Rainy Day Reads!

See what I mean? None of it is great (I have no budget!) but it's the fun part. So much of the rest is exhausting. They're advertising for a couple of new positions, so maybe if they find the right people I could work fewer hours. If that were the case I could do this for a long time. I'm already cooking up some fun ideas for May. I have my book lists ready and one display will definitely be "Once Upon a Crime..." complete with crime scene tape and a chalk body outline on the floor (actually white painters tape). I may do a Sci-Fi display with an alien saying, "Take me to your reader." We have a huge biography section though, so I probably should use those instead. I could make a giant name tag, like the ol' "Hello, my name is______" that we've all had to wear at some point. I could put up a sign that says Meet someone new, try a biography and put out a variety of interesting people - founding fathers to modern musicians, CoCo Chanel to Sally Ride. Anywho, just letting those ideas rattle around in my brain. I'll figure it out. Wow, I've rambled far too long and it's all disjointed and kooky. I guess I was overdue for a visit here. I'm happy today because I'm home. I hope that you're happy too, or at least on your way to being happy. I suppose we all have to figure out what that means for us, and where it is for us. I know it's not on that damn bottom shelf at the library.

The mister is turning off lights and heading for bed, so I guess that's my cue. We'll run off to Lancaster in the morning so I'll be back on Sunday to share a bit of that with you. It may be nothing but Amish buggies in the rain, but I have a feeling we'll find some fun. If you've made it all the way to the end of this snoozefest of a post, give yourself a cookie. You deserve it. Consider yourself hugged. Stay tuned for the Griswolds' adventures in Pennsylvania Dutch country! Until then, stay safe, stay well, and know how very much I've missed you. XOXO, Nancy

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protonpowered · 2 years ago

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For the ship ask thing, hmm... I'll go with Neffy/Courtney pls

Thanks for the ask! No-one can beat the original! It's been a while since I thought about Courtney/Nef but let's go!

Send Me A Ship And I'll Tell You Who...

Drinks all of the coffee

The special fancy robot coffee Lawrence buys has Nefarious' name written all over it. The man is fueled by equal amounts of coffee and spite.

Brings up adopting a pet

Courtney but she's picky about what she wants. She'd do what other celebrities do and get one of those real small (robot) dogs that can fit into her handbag or something. Nefarious doesn't care for pets; they're not his sort of thing.

Kills the bugs

Lawrence. If he isn't available, then it's whoever can more easily get their hands on weapons first, so probably Nefarious. He can go a bit overkill and try using a rocket launcher on a spider.

Cooks the meals

Lawrence does. Nefarious can't be trusted in the kitchen anymore, and Courtney always had other people do it for her anyway.

Starts getting into holidays way before they should

I don't even know what holidays they have in the R&C universe. I'm leaning more towards Courtney for this one; Nefarious is on the grumpy side and doesn't really care for such things usually.

Initiates the couple selfies

Courtney all the way. Nefarious may grumble and put on an act every time she does it, but he secretly does enjoy it. He slowly warms up to the idea over time and becomes more openly into it.

Forgets the birthdays and anniversaries

They are both busy people, but Nefarious is more likely to forget, especially if Lawrence isn't around to prompt his memory. Courtney can forget as well if she's in the middle of a tour and has been working on her latest album.

Always ends up with too much junk food after grocery shopping

Neither of them because Lawrence does the shopping, although they do supply him with a list of things they want, which often just disappears in "Mysterious circumstances". If they actually did their own shopping, then Nefarious would be supplying all the junk food.

Nicknames the other

You know Courtney got there first. We all remember "Snooky wookums". She likes to make up these really silly nicknames just to rile him up and he falls for it every time. Although she does like to use somewhat more "traditional", for lack of a better word, nicknames.

"Sir, why does Ms. Gears call you "Babygirl"?"

"You know what, let's- let's just talk about something else for a while."

#asks #goldemas1244 #dr nefarious #courtney gears #courtarious

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itsbeandean · 1 year ago

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I've thought about writing this a lot. I can't ever tell if it's coming from a place of happiness or vindication or what. But I feel like if I don't get it out it'll die. I wail all the time about the negative things in my life but everything positive is happening so much and I need to put it somewhere. I need to tuck it away so it's somewhere I can come across in the future and remember.

I talked with her about marriage. We've been talking about marriage. We've got a ring. We've got plans. Just about 6 months together and we know we're the ones for each other. We've known for months. But they were here recently and right before we were falling asleep I told her "y'know. I know really happy couples that just don't get married because of taxes or debt and things like that. I've got debt. Big debt."

and you know what she said?

"Don't be silly. Thats so silly to worry about. We'll figure it out together. That's what marriage is."

I'd been trained to worry. That there was always something. That at any inconvenience I can be left behind. They told me it was silly. They told me not to worry unless they're worrying with me.

And fuck if I've ever been so happy in my life.

I'm moving across the country for this smoking hot enby who loves me and worries with me and has spent hundreds just to see me and I'd never do it any other way. I can't believe I spent so long of my life just stagnant. I can't believe I never strove for the better I deserve. And now I have the better and it's so hard to focus on the fact that it's real and it's now because certainly it can't be, right? There's no way this isn't all going to blow up in my face. Right?

Then I remember us just, riding in the car together. And the thought of the profile of her face makes me smile and I know. That it's real and it's gonna stick. And we're both going to make sure because we belong together and when we're together things just work.

These last few weeks have been maddeningly good. So much so that I don't think anything could get my down if it tried. I got a new job with a new, big, life changing raise. I spent 10 days with my fucking drop dead gorgeous, funny, kind, incredible partner (I've never been told by so many strangers that they like my vibe. I like being a beacon of hope for others. I like being queer in public and having others go 'hey, good for you. Me too." in the most blasé way possible. I like being seen with them. I'm never embarrassed. I'm never scared.) I'm relieved of a debt that would have hung over me into my 60s... I'm leaving. I'm getting the fuck out of dodge.

Thats the bittersweet part, actually. I'm leaving. Going somewhere blue. Somewhere free and unoppressed. But I'm leaving everyone else I love behind which, yes, I've been crying about that. Especially with my family. Especially at night when the zoom call ends and it's just noise videos for me to fall asleep to. But the sadness doesn't outweigh the happy. The joy. The opportunity.

We'll see how I feel when I hug my mom that last time. When I hug my best friends that last time.

The day before my birthday.

Damn, 30 is gonna feel fine.

Anyway I should be working and I'm running out of steam but.

Void, if you're listening just. Take this and disburse it. Take this feeling and pass it around to anyone who needs it. I'm damn near tapped out.

#I don't think I've ever used a tag like this on this blog but maybe I should start #my writing

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archivalofsins · 8 months ago

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Kotoko second trial interrogation question two be like. Oh no, more shit I knew and pointed out already. Kotoko, I feel I've gotten to know you so well over this short period of time.

Q.02 Have you heard of the "Justice Alliance"?

Kotoko: What. I don’t know what that is but it’s probably useless if they need to band together to achieve justice.

Merriam-Webster, Cambridge Dictionary, Google Oxford Languages Definition

20/07/01

Mikoto: Hey, hey, Koto-chan. I’ve been thinking this ever since I first heard your name, but don’t you think the names “Mikoto” and “Kotoko” kinda sound like siblings? Kotoko: No. Mikoto: Don’t say that! Let’s get along well from here on as the Koto-Koto combo! Kotoko: I’m not doing that.

Union buster, boot licker I feel like I've used these descriptors before too actually. But I have no clue where at this point, I talk a lot of shit about Kotoko and every other character here. So, that's not surprising but like would be nice to find it eventually. I've been looking for it but no dice.

She blatantly says whatever this group was doing was more than likely useless because they needed to band together to do it. Directly reinforcing her actions and statements towards Mikoto have highlighted Kotoko does not believe in unionizing or allying herself with other individuals. In fact, she thinks doing so is a sign of weakness.

She has a "Fusion is a cheap tactic to make weak gems stronger mindset." Children programs from decades ago far before the one I just referenced have proven her wrong. That's wild. Oh, but she wanted to team up with Milgram and work beneath Es. That's not an alliance that's a business relationship but alliances can be with corporations too.

Yes, they can be. However, alliances between a corporate entity and those made amongst individuals are different. Kotoko's answer is highlighting that she recognizes the difference between the two and does not think favorably of a bunch of individuals banding together to fight evil.

Which goes well with her previous statements about how she never asked for anyone else's opinion in her second glitched voice line. Then why in her second voice drama she states that Es should just stop thinking about all of this and leave everything to her. Because Kotoko is not aligning herself with individuals she does not have to take said individuals opinions into account. She just needs access and backing from entities that will allow her to either gain power or have closer proximity to it.

This could be applied to why she refers to Es as Prisoner 011 and puts Milgram before them when discussing whom she's working with. Because like many of the other prisoners she's come to recognize that Es isn't the one in power here Milgram is.

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets. Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

This plays into why Kazui highlights what she's doing isn't apart of Milgram's System instead of calling to attention the guard didn't ask her to do any of this. Because he recognizes the guard's opinion to her is secondary to Milgram's rules. Something Kotoko has no issue highlighting herself when she states that Kazui is making a pointless argument.

His argument is pointless because Milgram is neither in favor of them using violence against each other nor against it. The only time that this behavior is prohibited is during the trials when the prisoners can't attack to harm or injury each other but only to incapacitate. As shown in Kazui and Mikoto's first voice dramas. Yet anything goes after the trials have concluded.

So, Kotoko hasn't broken any rules. She highlights that it isn't exactly not allowed either later just as she did with the rooms not having locks in her trial one interrogation. Because Milgram allows the prisoners to attack each other as long as there is no trial going on, their cells have no locks, and the facility has given them a supply closet full of tools at their disposal to use how they see fit.

Kotoko's free to do as she pleases just like everyone else is. Her mindset is if Milgram were against any of them acting in this way it would have stated such or enacted measures against such behavior. Since the facility hasn't and has instead made it easier for people to act in such a way that means what she's doing isn't incorrect or prohibited exactly.

Kotoko regards Milgram first when talking to Mikoto on her birthday, further emphasizing how she's come to understand the hierarchy in this situation. Milgram is at the top, then Es after, and then her. This is why she makes a bid in trial two to be allowed to be the guard instead of Es who she doubts can do a good job. Though this is something she's wanted from the beginning.

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Mikoto: Ah, Koto-chan. It’s been a while. Both of us have kinda split off from the group, but how’ve things been? A lot’s happened, but for now let’s try to get along. I mean, it’s your birthday today, right? I got the feeling nobody else was going to do anything, so I came to celebrate. Kotoko: ……how carefree. It doesn’t matter, a villain like you won’t be forgiven next time either. And when that time comes, it’ll be the end for you. I’ll make sure of it myself. Mikoto: Ahh?? Just try and do it, you nutjob. I’ll crush anyone who hurts me…… You’re gonna be totally beaten at your own game……![TN: The word “me” here uses first person pronoun “boku”.] Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it. That is what Milgram, and Es, and I have chosen.

If the Justice Alliance were a real entity with renown and power as Milgram has proven itself to be she'd respect it more. Hell, if Milgram was called the Justice Alliance instead of Milgram, she'd be all for the Justice Alliance. Just like she was quick to respect Es enough to offer teaming up with them for their benefit of course yet when Mikoto someone in the same situation she is in offered to join forces with her she brushed it off completely.

Because to her the fact that he wants to team up already means he's weak. Which given the whole I'll beat you at your own game thing might not have been a good assumption to make. Especially since in that Birthday interaction between the two Mikoto is quick to highlight that neither of them really has allies at the moment.

Though taking into consideration Kotoko's talk with Haruka it's hard to say she's completely isolated.

Ultimately my point is that people who ignore, belittle, and further dehumanize others going through the same circumstances as them to better align themselves to the groups in power or differentiate themselves from the bad ones... Are not individuals likely to consider independent unions/alliances made by weaklings (people living under an abusive system who do not have the power to change it on their own in this case) dependent of the status quo a legitimate means of fixing the situation or obtaining their goal.

To change things, they believe the most important thing is power and they will position themselves in whatever way that allows them to get more of that. So, Kotoko and Haruka working together makes sense because like Haruka said in his second voice drama-

He can kill anything smaller than him and Kotoko did kind of fail at doing that during the first trial intermission. Because she just didn't have enough power.

It's good to see that she's still the same person as usual. Though I wonder how that's going to work out for Amane. Since she's the antithesis of Kotoko's mindset. Plus, she's actively been trying to align herself with others more to spread her beliefs.

It really all depends on how well those efforts to sway people to her side works out and how many people she gets on board.

#milgram #kotoko yuzuhira

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soyouthinkucanwrite · 3 years ago

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July 2nd - Daniel Ricciardo

Based on New Year's Day by Taylor Swift and this request by @spikejonzed

Fluffly, mentions of sex, banter, nothing graphic.

BTW, I don't know how I've never paid attention to this song, it's so so beautiful and honest. I've thought about this concept before though: the "Sunday afternoon effect", when all the excitement of the weekend wears off and you're just hanging out with your friends, laughing about silly stuff, or cleaning up the house after the party. The thing is, the friends that stay till then are the ones you wanna hold on to, and the same goes for lovers. I feel kind of bad... well not BAD but you know, must be hard... when you're famous and rich, to recognize the good ones from the beginning before you give yourself too much away and it's too late.

To be honest with you guys, I think Daniel must feel a bit lonely sometimes. We all do, but to think that people are only interested in you for your fame and money must be tough... something you worked so hard, that you keep dedicating your life to, to think that that thing is the reason for your heartbreak, to your loneliness... It's a two-edged sword, isn't it? Anyway, I wrote this little something with Daniel in mind, hope you guys like it. Hope he finds someone to be like this someday. Hell, hope I find someone to be like this someday. I think everyone deserves that.

Daniel woke up in his bed, no shoes, but jeans and party shirt still on. The light coming through the windows, shining directly on his face, threatening to make his headache even worse. He let out a groan and turned to the side. There's someone on his bed with him. Shit. He just remembered. Last night was the first time he was introducing (y/n) to his friends. His birthday "small get together" (or at least that's what it was supposed to be) was the perfect opportunity for testing the waters and giving the "next step" without making too much fuss about it, after all, they've only been going out for a couple months and with his tight schedule it meant a lot of facetime calls and weekends, but almost no weekdays and routine stuff.

Yet, he was absolutely smitten with her, she was fun and easygoing, passionate about her own work and friends, but still caring and interested in him. They had amazing chemistry, mind-blowing even. But Daniel had lived enough to know that hanging out with someone on the weekends and knowing their best side was one thing, living through daily and mundane stuff was a completely different thing. Where this could go was still a mystery to him and he didn't want to raise too many expectations before he was sure. Still, she looked so beautiful sleeping, a true vision. He tried to remember if something had happened last night, but judging by his clothes still on, and hers as well, he guessed not. As if on cue, she smiled, with her eyes still closed.

"Stop being creepy" she said smiling. "I can feel you watching me sleep"

"You're not even asleep anymore" he smiled and she opened her eyes. He was taken back by her eyes staring directly into his.

"Still creepy though" she laughed, getting closer to him. He held her and they stayed like that for a while.

"Are you ok?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?

"Aren't you hungover, or sick?" he asked again and she laughed.

"Not at all. I have this really weird superpower, you know, I don't get hungover. Ever, actually" she laughed.

"I don't believe you. I have the headache"

"No, it's true. We did drink a lot yesterday, though" she commented.

"Yeah, well, welcome to having Australian friends. No such thing as light drinking with those guys" he laughed but grimaced at the pain in his brain.

"I'll get you something"

"Huh?"

"For the pain" she explained getting up from the bed.

After a while she returned with a pill and a glass of water, passing them to him.

"Thank you, baby" he took the glass, finishing it. "Come back to bed now"

"Your house... like, I'm not even sure if I should tell you to take a look or just pack your essentials and abandon it" she smiled.

"Uhh" he groaned. "I'll call someone later"

"Like a constructor with a wrecking ball?" she laughed.

"It can't be that bad"

"It's bad" she started. "But we can manage it" He looked at her intrigued. "After a shower" she pulled his hand. "Join me?"

"If I ever say no to that question, just put me in an asylum" he said. "I need a kiss though, as motivation" he smirked.

"Noo... I have morning breath"

"What? Me too" he said pulling her down and kissing her anyway. "Uh, no. You're right. Yours is worst" he said laughing while getting up and walking into the bathroom.

"Asshole!" she laughed following him.

They stripped and got into the shower, taking turns in letting the water run through their bodies.

"Come here" Daniel said, putting some body wash in his hands and spreading them over (y/n) body.

"Hum... this feels nice" she said.

"You're so beautiful" he said kissing her shoulder.

"You're so wasted" she laughed lightly.

"Hey! I'm sober. I'm just too tired. Give me a couple hours to recover, and I'll claim my birthday privileges"

"Birthday privileges? It's not even your birthday anymore" she laughed.

"Okay, but first, it's the weekend of, and second, I didn't get any time alone with you yesterday"

"Fair. And what will be your requests, may I ask?" she asked teasingly.

"Humm... you're so creative" he said kissing her. "I'm sure we'll think of something"

They finished the shower after a while, enjoying each other's company and the comfortable silence.

"Did anyone crashed here?" (y/n) asked when they were stepping out of the shower.

"I have no idea" Daniel answered. "I just remembered going to take a nap and waking up this morning. Shit, we didn't... did we?" (y/n) laughed out loud at that.

"Wow! Really, Dan?"

"We did not. I would've remembered"

"Good save. Such a gentleman" she laughed.

"I drank way too much. Sorry. Don't be mad"

"It's fine. I'm messing with you, I don't remember anything either. To be honest, I don't even remember joining you on your 'nap'" she said making air quotes.

"We're the worst hosts" he said getting out of the bathroom and going into the closet to get some clothes.

(y/n)'s heart swelled at the thought of hosting a party with Daniel. There was something so intimate about that statement, so homey.

"You want a shirt?" Daniel asked from the other room, waking her up from her daydream.

"Yeah, sure" she took the shirt, some underwear, and some sweats. Then brushed her wet hair and looked in the mirror. Not a trace of makeup left. She sighed thinking about how falling into a routine with Daniel meant letting the barriers down.

"Alright, snap out of it" she said to herself, getting out of the bathroom and walking outside, to the living room where Daniel was standing rubbing his neck and looking around.

"This is bad" he said when he saw her joining him. There were empty beer bottles and cups all around the living room and balcony, pizza boxes (with half-eaten slices left behind) in the coffee table, party decorations hanging from the ceiling, and the kitchen was even worse, with liquid spilled on the ground and bottles everywhere. There was glitter all over the floor and the couch - someone had brought some of those party poppers, which looked so much fun yesterday, but no so much now. But the best part was the polaroids, left all over the house with the craziest poses.

"Pack your stuff, we're deserting this goddam hellhole" he said and she knew he was joking, he said that about everywhere, but she still shook her head and rolled her eyes, picking a polaroid photo from the ground.

"Everyone had so much fun" she showed it to him. "I loved meeting your friends"

He took the photo from her hand, it was one where (y/n) was sitting on the couch with two of his buddies from Australia, making funny faces while holding cups. He remembered the moment because he was the one who took the photo.

"How's the headache?" she asked him.

"Almost gone"

"Good. So you don't have an excuse. Move your ass, where are the trash bags?" she laughed going into the kitchen.

"Hey! That was very sneak of you" he laughed but followed her anyway.

They spent the next hour collecting bottles, vacuuming glitter, and just cleaning the whole house. Daniel complained the whole time, but in truth, he was very glad to have her there. Sure, he could just ignore the whole mess and hire someone on Monday to clean everything (he probably would still do that anyway, for the heavy cleaning like bathrooms), but it was really nice of her to just stick around, seeming unbothered by the housework. When she finished tying the last trash bag and putting it on the entry hallway she flopped on the couch besides Daniel, who had called it a day some good 10 minutes ago.

"Done?" he asked her.

"I feel like punching you for asking me that" she answered playing annoyed. He lifted his hand in defense.

"What? I did my part!"

"Men" she shook her head. "I'm surprised you haven't complained about being hungry yet"

"Well, I'm starving! Was just waiting to suggest going out, or ordering in"

"Ordering in, please. I don't want to get off this couch any time soon"

Daniel got his phone out to order some food. It was almost noon, so he thought about something like pasta, some carbs would be nice right now. Then he felt (y/n)'s head drop on his shoulder, her hand caressing his arm. It was such a sweet gesture, so understated, he just stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

"What?" she looked at him.

"I'm really glad you're here. Thank you"

"It's nothing" she smiled.

"I don't mean the cleaning. Well, that too. But just, thank you for being you and wanting to hang out with me, you know, after the party"

"I'll always wanna hang out with you, partying or cleaning bottles" she said and leaned in to kiss him. "Happy birthday old man" this made him smile through the kiss.

"Thank you, young lady" he said still smiling. "Let's feed you now, yeah?"

"Please! Let's get some carbs on this house!" she smile.

"Hey, guys!" (y/n) and Daniel looked up to see Luke, one of Daniel's buddies walking out of the guest bedroom.

"Dude! I didn't know you were here" Daniel laughed.

"Yeah, just woke up. Definitely wasn't hiding in the bedroom waiting for the cleaning end to get out" he grinned making (y/n) and Daniel laugh.

"You know what? Just for that, you're going downstairs to pick up the food when it gets here, and taking out the trash!" (y/n) teased him, tossing a pillow from the couch at him.

Daniel just observed while his friend and his girlfriend joked and laughed. He thought about how right now he was enjoying a feeling of contempt that wasn't really natural or much appreciated by professional athletes, but this time felt right to indulge in it. He felt safe like someone's got him, finally. He took (y/n) hand on his and squeezed it three times, he knew this was already a good thing, something to last. She looked at him, she knew exactly what he meant.

#Daniel Ricciardo #Daniel Ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo fluff #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo fanfic #daniel ricciardo imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #daniel ricciardo oneshot

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soundtracker27 · 3 years ago

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Alright, @koriandrappreciationweek here's Day 2: "Universe" - had a lot of fun imagining it, silly as it is.

Sorry, I apparently only know how to write novels.

----------

Kory walks into the kitchen on a bright spring morning. There's coffee made - X'hal bless Donna. Kory pours herself a huge cup and starts to take a drink.

"Wait, I think I hate coffee?" She takes a sip and spits it in the sink. Okay, weird day today.

Garfield walks in, green hair slicked over, briefcase in hand.

"Hey honey, I've got to get going early today - big meeting. But I can get off early to grab the kids from soccer. Work for you?"

She hesitates - what on earth is happening this morning? "What kids, Gar?"

He laughs, "you're adorable, sweetie. Our kids! Okay, gotta go." He gives her a peck on the cheek, grabs an apple off the counter and dashes off." Kory watches as his souped up muscle car tears down the road and over the bridge away from Titans Tower. She doesn't have much time to think though because two little girls and a cyborg boy come bounding in, ready for school.

"Mooooooom!!!!! Raven won't let me wear her purple converse!" a 10 year old Donna cries. "She didn't even ask. She just took them." The calm and factual response sounds like the Raven Kory knows, but who on earth is this little girl?

"Can I have my friend Dick over after school today? We are working on a ham radio project and... "

"Vic, I - you're... so tiny." The girls titter as their argument fades.

"Gosh mom, that's not super nice to point out."

"X'hal! I don't think I'm your mom, you guys. I'm your friend, Starfire! I came from Tameran- I'm dating Dick and I'm roommates with Donna and I have a modeling job!"

Donna matter of factly pats Kory on the cheek. "Mom, we love you but you're old, and we're kids. And unless you're hiding something, I think you work at Macy's. I don't know who Dick is but we won't tell dad." She giggles.

Raven glances out the window and sees their bus coming up the road in the distance. "Time to go, I'm not getting in trouble again today." She tugs Victor out and Donna scampers after. "Bye mom!!" "Byeeeee!"

She instinctively kisses each of them on the tops of their heads. She may not be their mom, but they do seem to need one anyway.

"Okay, bye sweeties. Hope you have a good day at school."

Kory pours herself another cup of coffee, adds four spoonfuls of sugar and sits down on the couch utterly bewildered. This time she manages a few sips. For a long time she's harbored hopes to be married, and to have kids... Dick's kids. But this, X'hal! This is just too weird.

"What on the actual earth is happening right now!? Married to Garfield!? Working at Macy's?! What even is Macy's!?"

She walks to the big wall where the team hangs all their favorite photos, hoping to see the familiar faces of the team after that night at Lazeli's pizza, or the picture of her and Donna at the New Years party at Wayne Manor. Where are all the photos of Dick? She's taken a million and at least a few were up on the wall, she was sure. The one of him, Wally and Roy after highschool graduation - the one of she and Dick teaching Lian to ride a bike on her 2nd birthday. Where did it all go?

The telephone rings. She isn't sure she wants to answer it, but maybe it will bring some clarity to this utterly confusing moment. "He-hello?"

"Oh Hi Mrs. Logan, Kory." It's the deep, quiet voice of Bruce Wayne.

Now this is unusual - he's never directly called the Tower before, especially not to talk with her. Dick's dad is nice, just rather standoffish when it comes to Kory. It's been improving but she just hasn't been able to break through that wall yet. "This is Bruce Wayne. I just wanted to call and make sure that you knew the boys were planning on working on ham radio tonight at the manor. I know sometimes Dick forgets to tell me when he's going to be out and I get so worried. You just never know with crime in the city these days. I just thought I'd call and let you know!"

"Oh um, Bruce, thank you so much. Yes, Vic mentioned it."

"Great! Alfred will make sure they eat. Have a good one." The phone clicks silent. She's just utterly bewildered. She flops back on the couch, unsure of what to do next. The phone rings again but it sounds further away this time, and she's feeling rather lazy and decides not to get it. Maybe she'll just close her eyes for a few minutes and the solution will present itself.

Suddenly her eyes pop open. The phone continues to ring but Dick, oh! Her actual 22 year old boyfriend is standing in the kitchen, hands covered in pizza sauce.

"Hey babe, so sorry - can you grab that? I was just in the middle of making this, Sorry it woke you up!"

Kory flies off the couch to the kitchen, then backtracks to the picture wall. There it is - Kory with a champagne flute, Donna in that strappy black dress with Terry hanging his arm around both the girls' shoulders. Smiling the biggest smiles. Kory smiles now and dashes to the kitchen and wraps herself around Dick Grayson. He helplessly holds up his dirty hands. She breathes, "I'm so glad to be back."

"I'm pretty sure you were only asleep for like ten minutes." He washes off his hands, then gives her a real hug.

She sighs and shakes her head, "Actually, it felt like a lifetime."

#koriand'r #dc titans #kory anders #new teen titans #teen titans #donna troy #rachel roth #raven roth #garfield logan #dick grayson #victor stone #dc fanfic #dc alternate universe #koriandrappreciationweek #dickkory #robstar

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justrandomselfships · 3 years ago

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Little steps- my self insert Fic (S/I POV) with a bunch of silly illustrations! Oh did I mention that this involves Kaeya? Well he's the main focus here even though Lisa is mentioned shit ton of times! Might write something for her focus too someday.

I finished it ages ago but I was afraid to post it- I'm not anymore and also✨ it's my birthday ✨

Ever since I joined the knights I decided to write in a diary, it helped me keep track of time. Lisa told me that it can help me in various ways, like for example remembering names of the other knights, or checking my personal progress. Now that I think about it, it was long since I checked my old entries. Nothing interesting happened today anyway so I might as well read some. I don't really remember anything that was going on when I started so I suppose I could refresh my memory.

Today Lisa wanted to introduce me to someone- she probably wanted to help me by looking for training partner for me, however I had to refuse. You probably remember why was that, I got scared of meeting someone new again. I couldn't get that mess on her shoulders when she has so much to do as it is! And there was no way I'd meet them alone it'd be too akward for both of us!

I remember the exact moment I tried to come up with an excuse for future me... It kinda made me giggle how stupid I am sometimes, but let's look at something else...

I've never felt as lonely as I do now, I don’t even know why. I don’t miss anyone nor I ever craved any interactions... But to make that feeling go away I thought about talking to Amber but when I left the house she was talking to Noelle and I got scared to approach them... Instead I decided to sketch something and stay inside for the rest of the day.

I immediately looked at my sketchbook, I don't even have to look inside, I was drawing what's outside my window like always. Maybe I'll find some better memory if I keep looking?

During my patrol I got a bit lost... It was scary... But I wasn't alone, an Adventurer found me... However he got lost too. It was a bit unlucky day since I picked the wrong maps, we also got attacked a few times by monsters. I kinda feel bad for him since he tried his best to cheer me up but I stayed silent. It should've been other way around a knight shouldn't le

Bennett! How could I forget his name when I was writing this? He was such a sweetheart I obviously had to mess it up and make him feel uncomfortable... But I did make up for it! Maybe I'll finally read something positive? I somehow can't remember how exactly that went... Or if I was daydreaming about apologizing?

I decided to bake something for Bennett as thank you and apology for acting so cold towards him. But I had no idea on how to find him... Or what to say... So after thinking for few minutes I decided to talk to Katherine and ask her to give it to him. After "talking" to her I locked myself in my room out of embarrassment, I messed up again. I just said "Bennett" placed my pastries and left. Now I probably won't be able to face her for at LEAST two months.

I cringe at the memory... Gosh now this will keep me up at night for sure... I finally forgot about it and now it'll haunt me.

Wait a second... Did I really not made any progress at all!? I was trying so hard to socialize with others and get out more but I seem to still not be able to do it right. No, it's impossible. I'm good friends with Lisa! So I definitely made any progress... Or is she just so easy to talk to? Time to take a final look at something recent for a change...

Capitan Kaeya Alberich wanted to talk to me outside work... It might not sound like a big deal but somehow I just froze... I wasn't able to respond properly and he probably guessed what I was going to say, not that he ever can't do that... I might be too predictable. Either way I feel bad, my behavior was really disrespectful and I knew better than that to just ignore someone like him. I still have much to learn and I'll need to properly apologize for staying silent.

I only ever failed... There is no mistaking it. Great way to note down progress huh? Too bad there is none.

Think, what do I need to do to finally do better? I am the problem for sure but what do I really need to change? Maybe I should just start observing how others act... After all I never bothered to do that. It might help in one way or another...

Obviously there's only one place where there is a lot of people and I won't look like a total creep if I'll just listen in the conversations and look at random people... It's no other than the tavern. I'm scared to go there alone... But I don't have to!

Lisa would be willing to go right?... Then again I rely on her a bit too much and going out like this could be an opportunity to break the ice with someone else...

Jean is always busy, Amber will be way too distracting and we might end up somewhere else, Eula is too scary, Venti... I don't even know why I'm considering him.

Maybe that offer from capitan Kaeya still stands? It's from bearly 2 weeks ago so maybe if I get lucky and he happens to still be interested, I can actually go...

What am I even thinking!? I didn't even apologize for the last time... But being around so many drunk people is terrifying... However I can't bet on the fact that he won't drink too much... On the other hand he seems to handle people and I'll definitely learn something.

Screw it. It might be scary but I need to do it. Tomorrow I'll ask him! That's for sure! He's the most respectable and trustworthy person who isn't always busy and will not distract me.

~⏳

I'm scared to do it but I have to! I need to... Did I really say that I'm gonna do it today? Or should I just pretend that I never thought of it. He's probably busy today. Yup definitely that no need to feel stressed.

I haven't seen him back at the headquarters nor did I see him around town when I was coming back from my patrol- that's a good sign. It's still pretty early but I don't think that I'll see him today... What a relief!

Before I left the headquarters after finishing some paperwork I hear a voice that belongs to a beautiful librarian I am lucky to be able to call a friend.

"Hey there cutie, are you okay?"

"Just a little bit nervous that's all, nothing new haha"

"Do you need me to pass a message again?"

"No need! It's something I need to say myself..."

"I see..."

"But if you happen to see capitan Kaeya it would be nice if you could tell him that I was looking for him" out of habit I grab my hair and begin to play with it. Lisa's warm soothing voice blessed my ears as she said "No worries darling, I'll let him know" before she left and giggled to herself...

Wait... Oh no.

Why did I say anything!? Is she that magical that I can't say anything but what's on my mind.

If she happens to meet him my request will be unavoidable! Even if I tried thinking of something else Kaeya will know that I'm lying. I can't avoid him either... Can't waste his precious time...

How do I even ask him!? Do I need to change from my work clothes before I go? What should I do...

I didn't realize that I started walking in circles before someone approached me.

"Heather?"

I turn around and see the man I was thinking about all day. Dammit... I have to say it. I can't think of an excuse and staying silent is now unacceptable.

"Oh-uhm... Greetings Capitan Kaeya"

"Lisa informed me that you were looking for me"

"Oh right!... That... Haha..."

"I don't want to rush you, however I do have some business to attend to"

"I'm so sorry! I mean- since you're busy then my silly request is irrelevant"

"Come now, I believe that I should be the judge of that" his smug look made it ever so slightly more challenging to say anything.

"I just... Ugh..." I took a deep breath "Look as you know I was trying to loosen up recently and well I realized that I wasn't making any progress at all. So I remembered that one time you asked me to go to the tavern with you and I refused... I mean ignored you, which I am VERY sorry about but now I think that it was a mistake and today I wanted to ask you to accompany me but since you're busy let's just forget about everything" I felt relieved getting that off my chest.

"I don't think that will do, in fact I was heading towards the tavern so if you really want to I suppose you can join me" Oh right... I forgot about him gathering some information there from time to time. So it might work after all! He won't pay too much attention to me and I could investigate without tons of distractions.

"Let's get going then capitan" I say before he smiles softly in response "Wait do you want to get going now or-"

"Yes" he cut me off, which was fair and I'm glad he did it before I said something dumb.

We're almost there. Before we get closer I suddenly stop.

"That reminds me!" I realized I spoke out loud, as he looked at my direction my confidence dropped dead "I've never actually tried any alcohol so would you be so kind to recommend something for me? I figured that since I'm already getting out of my comfort zone might as well try something new" I said under my breath but he definitely understood what I meant judging by his facial expression and well... response.

"Absolutely" my heart skipped a beat. I desperately tried to start a conversation topic... But choosing alcohol might be something I'll regret...

Kaeya started listing few drinks I could enjoy his words were poetic as he described the beverages, however the names of the drinks went over my head. It wasn't that bad but I just felt stupid over how clueless I was. He definitely knew what he was talking about and I'm more than interested in hearing more. The more he talks the less likely I am to say something I'll regret.

"Obviously since I don't know how much you can handle I won't be forcing you to try too much too soon" he paused "Your father probably wouldn't be happy either if you returned drunk" he said teasingly. It invited me to respond less seriously.

"Oh no! This means that we'll have to do it again, how awful"

"We didn't enter yet so you can feel free to leave now before you regret spending time with me of all people" his voice was now suddenly much more hostile... Did I mess it up!?

He laughed softly "I'm sorry did I go too far? While I don't want to force you to do anything, I won't lie... I'm a bit curious to learn something new about you tonight"

We were still outside standing right in front of the entrance to the tavern if not for chatting we could hear from the inside there would be total silence.

"I'm sorry for being quiet again! It's just that you caught me off guard haha" I look away "There isn't much to know about me so I feel like I'll only disappoint you"

"I'm not so sure about that part"

"Wait... Did my father tell you anything about me!?"

"Look let's just get inside, We'll discuss it later"

Nervously I followed him yet again. The atmosphere was warm and I could see different kinds of people all over the place. We sit down.

"So did he tell you anything?" I ask immediately.

"Relax, he didn't" he seemed amused by my desperation to know. It's understandable... And I'm probably overreacting anyway. I collect my thoughts "I'm sorry"

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm just making this into some big deal for no reason. Maybe the reason is the huge amount of respect I have for you that makes me freak out"

"I see, well I don't see the reason to be so formal now. We aren't working after all" his soft smile was enough for me to calm down.

"Thank you" Maybe it was all I needed to hear, after that everything went smoothly.

I start feeling proud of myself... Maybe I can change after all? Either way it only shows that I have to write it down! And once I was back home I did just that.

Today I had enough courage to take a step in right direction! I went to a tavern with capitan Kaeya. It was fun and for the first time in years I wasn't that scared. It wasn't totally perfect but it was definitely worth it.

#❄️ frozen in tide 🌊#selfship #self insert #oc x cannon #self ship #my self insert #self shipping #my f/o #kinda self ship related #my self ship #kaeya x oc

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rebelcap · 4 years ago

Text

We are not just friends — part 9

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a person of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.

Series masterlist

“ It's not fancy, isn't it?” Sofia asked going through her suitcase in the middle of the bed, hoping to find something to wear.

“ Nah, it's casual. Like a get-together—” Chris answered her thought the phone, they were Facetiming as they both get ready.

“Alright, what about… this and this?” She said holding up a red mini skirt with a red crop top. “I feel like matching.”

“Love it, red suits you. “ Chris answered and Sofía wiggle on the bed and began undressing, not caring for modesty as Chris looked at her.

“Enjoying the show? creep. “ She laughed as Chris rubbed her beard watching her get undressed, she wasn't being sexy or anything close, Chris just find her fucking hot all the time.

“Sure, don't mind me.” Chris answered her smiling. “want me to pick you up?”

“No honey, it's okay. I'll Uber the rest so you can't have to drive back and forth.’

‘I really don't mind, Sof.’

‘I know, but you know how I am with getting ready. I don't want you running late and shit. It's fine, you go ahead and I'll text you when I'm there.”

‘You sure?”

‘Yes, dumbass. You go ahead I'll text you. “ She said kissing the screen making Chris laugh.

“Alright, I'll be going then. call me. “

They hung up and Chris go ahead and grabbed his things and went ahead to his friend's birthday.

And Sofia took her time and arrived forty-five minutes later cause she can.

Chris was already waiting for her outside, having a sly smoke and playing with his phone on the side of the building, high-end building on LA.

Sofia called him out and shake her head when she saw the cigarette on his hand and Chris put it out.

“Sorry, I know you hate it. “

“It's bad for you. “

“I know—You're pretty,” Chris observed her, she was wearing what she shows him earlier, looked much better on her, red was definitely her color.

“Do I? I feel a little silly. I nervous—I don't know.” She nervously laughed shrugging as Chris pulled her in for a quick kiss. “I don't know anyone.”

“Neither do I, really. I know some of them.” Chris told her and she hummed. “I'm a little anxious.”

Sofia smiled and kissed him again, he wrapped his arms around her waist and fight the urge to grab her ass.

“We should go in.” He said letting her go and she agreed, rearranging her skirt and walked in with Chris.

The party wasn't what she was expecting, you know like a get together a few beers and friends hanging out but no, it was a full-blown party with a lot of people.

She didn't say anything as Chris greet people and introduced them to her, it was a little taxing but she did it anyway because it's Chris.

“Dude, so many people.”

“Yes, I thought it wasn't like this.” He looked at her with an apologetic look.

“It's fine, you do your thing and I'll mingle with that bar over there.” She told him with a smile and almost pushed him towards his friends.

“You sure?”

“Yes, go.” Sofía pushed him again and Chris leans over and plants a quick kiss on the top of her head.

“You're the best, it will be just for a little bit. I'll be back.” He kissed her again and disappear on the crowd and she looked forward to the bar, maybe getting a little bit tipsy will loosen her up but the crowd here was way different to what she and Mandy hung out back at home.

She felt pretentious wearing matching top and skirt, she couldn't imagine what she would feel wearing a thousand-dollar dress like the bunch of girls over there.

She grabbed a beer and isolated herself to a corner, where she could observe the party—witch was absolutely cool with her, what she wasn't expecting was seeing Chris's ex-girlfriend chatting with some girls and pointing out exactly where he was.

“Oh boy.” She mumbles drinking her beer and looked at her walk through until she reached him and he acted amicable with her, hugs and cheeks being kissed.

At that moment she decided to get fucked up and dance if he was going to be with his ex might as well she find something to do at this stupid party. Sofia quickly drank her beer and head back to the bar to do a few shots, clearly catching the attention of a few guys hovering over there.

“Hey,” One of them says, he had a kind smile and was attractive enough.

“Hi.” She said back, smiling too.

They chatted for a bit, his name was Tom, he's a publicist and single.

“You came here with someone?” Tom asked as she sips her drink, the second one.

“Mm-hm, with my friend.” She vaguely said, not wanting to hint that it was Chris.

“Oh, do I know her?” He asked, trying to find out who and assumed it was a girl.

“It's a he and probably you do.” Sofía quickly answers and without thinking looked back at where he was before and his back was facing her while he talked to his ex's ear. Sofia couldn't help but sigh deeply and drank the rest of the drink. “Can I have another one?” She flagged the bartender and he quickly began making her another.

“You work on the industry?” He asked taking a sip of his own drink and Sofia realized that he really didn't like this dude anymore, she didn't want to talk about work of the industry.

“Not really—”

“You should, you've got this young Salma Hayek thing going on.” He said moving his hands and Sofia raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, we're both Latinas.”

“Really? where you from?”

“Yeap, Argentina,” Sofía answered back and quickly looked back at Chris and he kept talking with his ex, now drinks in hand and he had that pink on his cheeks and moving his hands.

man, am I jealous? She thought for a second but quickly shake her head and looked at Tom, trying to find out if she could possibly, at least, make out.

But he was a little off-putting and Sofia started thinking that he was recruiting or some shit—witch she wasn't interested at all. Leave that to the talented people, she wasn't that.

“—You know, I could introduce you to our manager. We're looking for someone with your profile, there's a lot of new—”

“I'm going to stop you there because I've got no interest in having a manager or working on the industry.” She said that with a mocking tone. “I'm good at my normal job.”

Tom actually scoffed at her then shake his head, “Then what are you doing at a party like this? are you an escort?”

Sofia was the one to scoff now and give Chris another look, and his ex had her arm around his waist they were going to make out anytime soon. Now she really wanted to get the fuck out of here.

“I came with a friend, whatever. Bye,” She waves him off and turned her back at him, not bothering to see if he walked away or not.

She pulled her phone and furiously text Mandy.

Christofer, it's all cozy with his fucking ex and people here are treating me like I am a fucking escort.

“I'm a fucking idiot.” She mutters to herself after she press sends, totally regretting that because she knows how she exaggerates things.

Baby, leave that party. Go to the hotel and we'll talk.

Sofia stare at the screen and decided that Mandy's idea wasn't bad, at all. She wasn't going to wait around as Chris fuck the girl—and she did felt bad like it wasn't enough for him. She looked one more time and indeed, they were absolutely making out.

“Yeah, fuck this.”

“I can't do this anymore,” Chris push her away and shake his head."I came here with someone, I can't be doing this. She's important to me,"

She scoffed, "Yet, you are here making out with me. Why then? " She asked and tried to resume the kissing.

"No, I can't—I shouldn't be here," He turned around and drank the rest of his beer praying that Sofia didn't see that.

Of course, she wasn't picking up, Chris began to panic actual panic as he quickly typed.

Where are you? can't find you.

Sof, are you okay?

Please call me.

Sofía was walking as she looked at the screen and scoffed, the hotel wasn't that far and she feels like walking trying to clear off her mind. For a moment there she had those awful flashbacks with Tiffany, she used to do the same shit, worst of all she allowed it. She knew that this was nothing, that they weren't absolutely nothing besides friends but if this is how he was gonna behave as friends.

"I'm walking to the hotel," She spoke softly at the phone, it was Mandy.

"What happened?" She asked and Sofia told her the whole thing. "Well fuck, he's calling me,"

"Yeah I should probably let him know that I'm heading to the hotel before he called the police," Sofia said softly and sighed. "Tiffany used to pull this shit—

"He's not Tifanny, "

"Yeah, I'll talk to you back at the hotel. I'm going to text him and buy booze." Sofia said and tell their goodbyes and hung up.

Chris was calling again and Sofia picked up.

"I'm fine, I'm going to the hotel."

"Jesus Christ, Sofia. I was freaking out,"

"Yeah, sure," She laughs bitterly. "Whatever, I'm going to sleep. I'll text your assistant the details for the contract and photoshoot. You still wanna do that?, or I call the whole thing off? no pressure."

"You saw, don't you?"

"Whole fucking party saw that kiss, dude." She said softly, "It's okay, but I don't wanna be in the middle of nothing. I thought you had figured it out and moved on,"

"I did fuck. I'm sorry Sof—"

"Did you? you were just fucking kissing her."

"It took me by surprised, I told her I was with you that—come on, can we talk about it?"

"We are,"

"In-person, Sof."

"I'm tired Chris, I'm kinda drunk and I'm about to enter the hotel lobby." She said softly. "Are you in for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll be there," Chris answered defeated. "I'm sorry Sofia."

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." She hung up.

He fucked up.

Thanks everyone! ❤️

Tag list:

@letsdothemonstermash

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

#chris evans x latina!#chris evans x y/n #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans #Chris Evans fanfic #Chris Evans fanfiction #chris evans x original female character #Chris Evans x you #chris evans x reader

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Amelia & Jac

Amelia: you're okay now, right? Amelia: me too Jac: Are you? Amelia: I don't know Amelia: maybe Jac: How's the party? Amelia: it needs you Jac: Looks like you found enough people to party with though Amelia: I don't do dark corners by myself, you know Jac: yeah Amelia: I can't anyway, what Is said came true Amelia: all the lads are 😍 Jac: you didn't wear your theatre dress Amelia: no Amelia: it's going back, I kept the tags on Jac: smart Jac: what did you think, of the performance Amelia: it wasn't that bad Jac: and your mum Amelia: she's never that bad Jac: I know Jac: I meant did she like it Amelia: 😂 oh Amelia: yeah Jac: who brought all the booze? Jac: must be loads, can't just be Erin Amelia: her boyfriend I think Amelia: or maybe her brother Amelia: I don't remember Jac: they don't look that different tbh Jac: even if you weren't in a state Amelia: I've just got my 🤞 they are related after how hard he was 🤤 at me Jac: what about Is and Josh? Amelia: 😣 they're all over each other Jac: Hm Jac: dunno what way is better Jac: the play-by-play we'll get, or the lament if she hadn't Amelia: 💔 over 🥰 Amelia: I have every possible boys suck line ready in my back pocket Jac: shouldn't we be happy for each other Amelia: for what? Jac: for her getting what she wanted Jac: if nothing else, it's that Amelia: he only wants her because she dressed and acted different so no Jac: maybe she wants to be different too Amelia: you would say that Jac: why would I Amelia: because you want to be Savannah Moore Amelia: it doesn't get any differerent-er Jac: One, no I don't Jac: and two, we've got lots in common so it wouldn't be that big of a change beyond the obvious Amelia: yeah you do and yeah it would Jac: just because I like her doesn't mean I'm trying to be her Jac: why do you think that Amelia: you talk like her now Amelia: act like her Amelia: dress like her Jac: no I don't Jac: this is how I've always been Jac: and I don't have nearly enough money to dress like her Amelia: I don't need to tell you that designer dupes exist Amelia: your search history already has Jac: 🙄 so I wanna wear nice clothes Jac: that's not new Amelia: but your definition of nice has Jac: so you're saying I looked like crap then or now? Amelia: I'd never say that Jac: I can change my taste Jac: you don't have to as well, I'm not making you, so why are you being so Jac: weird about it Amelia: I don't want to fight about it anymore Amelia: come to the party, you can wear what you want Jac: I can't come to the party now Jac: it'll be practically over Amelia: then we'll do something else Amelia: you can't send me 🏠 with Is Jac: you asked to sleep over Amelia: yeah but I can't fucking bear it Amelia: any of this Jac: that's why I didn't want to go Amelia: and I shouldn't be here Jac: do you really want to leave Amelia: I didn't want to go Jac: I don't even think I've talked to Erin before Amelia: you haven't Jac: why does everyone have to go to everything now Jac: the more people you know the better Amelia: that's not very Savannah-ish of you Jac: She doesn't actually have many friends either Jac: any Jac: real ones Amelia: she does now Amelia: you're her best friend Jac: she wants to be your friend too Amelia: 😂 Jac: she does Amelia: didn't you read how she talks to me? she thinks I'm more tragic than Is Amelia: that there's something wrong with me Jac: I read how you talk to her too Jac: you weren't treating her like she was any more intelligent than Is either Amelia: you just want it to be my fault Jac: no I don't Jac: I want us to all get along Amelia: you pretty much threw me out the chat earlier Jac: for your sake Jac: I knew you were angry and you were going to say something you'd regret Amelia: if we're all such great friends I should be able to say whatever I like Jac: you can Jac: but you shouldn't say things you can't take back Jac: just for the effect of the thing Jac: if you want to still say it in the morning Jac: I won't stop you Amelia: I can't take it back anyway Amelia: whether I say it or not Jac: if no one knows Jac: then you don't have to deal with it Amelia: I still have to deal Jac: but not with everyone else's opinion Jac: it's better Amelia: I don't care what anyone thinks, you never used to either Jac: that's not true Jac: for me Amelia: okay Jac: you know that Jac: and you must care too Jac: or we wouldn't be here Amelia: you know why we're here Amelia: and if you don't also know that tonight I don't care about literally anything then you must've blocked me on socials Jac: I haven't Jac: I bet it tastes as gross as it smells Amelia: after the first few it doesn't matter Jac: more like you've numbed your entire being with whatever drink so you can't taste or feel anything Amelia: if I didn't feel anything, I wouldn't have asked if you were okay now Jac: I meant more physically Jac: you're so dramatic sometimes, you know Amelia: you're so cruel sometimes Jac: yeah Jac: probably Jac: but that was a joke Amelia: 😂 Amelia: like this party Jac: they're always crap Amelia: no they're not Amelia: I have loads of fond memories Jac: you aren't always this wasted Amelia: I've never been this wasted Amelia: you're correct, but you're wrong about the physical numbing thing, if another lad tries to touch me I will be very dramatic Jac: Meels Jac: tell me you feel uncomfortable, unsafe Jac: then I can get one my parents to come get you Jac: because it's your mum's birthday, so your parents can't Amelia: what about Savannah? Jac: Sienna was here too Jac: so they couldn't stay over Jac: I only have a single bed, remember Jac: two is okay, three is just silly Amelia: your parents will be annoyed, mine too Jac: yours will just be worried Jac: better than being somewhere you don't want to be Amelia: I can't do that, ruin how good her birthday was Jac: then don't tell them Jac: not as if my parents will, unless you're sobbing or something Amelia: boys don't make me cry Jac: it's Connell Jac: Ty's friend Jac: and I don't like him that much, alright Amelia: but why do you like him? Amelia: why now? Jac: why does anyone like anyone Amelia: because they're clever and fun and even if they tell awful jokes they're still funny to you and you just want to look at them constantly, sometimes when they're asleep and you feel weird about it but you do it anyway Amelia: and touching them doesn't make you feel 🤮 but not touching them does Jac: that's different Jac: that's Jac: more Amelia: you don't want to settle for less Amelia: Savannah wants you to Amelia: I don't know why her boyfriend's friends can't find their own girlfriends Jac: It's not like I'm being pimped out Amelia: she even wants me to date one of them and she hates me Amelia: bit weird Jac: she thinks its a nice thing to offer Jac: she doesn't hate you Amelia: okay, I hate her Amelia: same difference Jac: that's literally the opposite Jac: why do you hate her Amelia: because crap parties like this are the only time I get to see you now, when she remembers she has a boyfriend Amelia: or needs to remind her followers Amelia: same difference Jac: you see me at school when you're not in detention Amelia: no I don't, she's in every class with you Amelia: I see you both Jac: Neither of us can help that though Jac: it's not as if it was planned Amelia: you don't want to help it though Amelia: you don't even miss me Jac: stop it Jac: we still see each other Amelia: it's not the same and you don't want it to be any more Jac: it's just transition year Jac: it literally isn't the same, everything is weird Amelia: I can't do this Jac: we aren't doing anything Jac: nothing has to change Amelia: it already has and all you're doing about it is fobbing me off like I'm Isabelle Jac: What do you want me to do, that's me actually asking Amelia: Erin's brother/boyfriend is back in my face, I have to go Jac: go to the most crowded area of the party and wait Jac: alright, I'll wake them up Jac: don't go outside or anywhere alone, even though that's what you want to do, it's just not a good idea Amelia: I can handle it Amelia: am handling it Jac: Okay, good Jac: but you're still getting picked up Amelia: no, I can't, I told you Jac: why not, your parents think you're going to Isabelle's anyway, they won't know any different Amelia: oh yeah, I forgot about Is Amelia: I'll just wait for her Jac: When did you last see her? Amelia: I don't know Amelia: I've been trying not to see them all night Jac: I'm gonna message her Jac: call her if I have to Amelia: I'm not going with you Amelia: like everything's normal when nothing is Amelia: you're only worried what I'll let slip to her Amelia: but you don't have to be, she's drunk too Jac: That's not true Jac: I'm worried about you Jac: you don't have to go with me, but she's had enough fun and you need to go Amelia: Tom's SO tall, remember, I'll find her Jac: will you tell me the truth Jac: whether you do or don't Amelia: why wouldn't I? Jac: so I don't call Is if you don't want to go looking for her Jac: I'm going to check, you know Amelia: stop making me want to forgive you Amelia: you're the cutest when you're like this, you know Jac: I'm not doing it to be cute, or for forgiveness Jac: you're still my friend Amelia: it's like vertigo, I'm used to that Amelia: I haven't had it for ages though Jac: Sit on the stairs and you're bound to catch her coming up or down Amelia: Tom won't see me from all the way up there Amelia: maybe he'll trip over me and fall to his death Jac: You aren't angry at Tom Jac: just people with penises Amelia: I'm not angry Jac: What are you? Amelia: 💔 Jac: Yeah Jac: me too Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: you don't need to say that Amelia: maybe not Amelia: but if you need to hear it, I want to Jac: I'm sorry Jac: does it feel any better? Amelia: yeah, a little bit Jac: you must be easier to please than me Amelia: 😏 Jac: shut up, you're as bad as Is Jac: I dread to think though Amelia: that boy is disgusting and she's going to be talking about nothing else until the next Jac: he has bad dandruff Jac: she hasn't noticed because his height disorientates her but I sat behind him in Irish Jac: it was very distracting Jac: and I couldn't see the board Amelia: 😣 Dia ár sábháil Amelia: I must be drunk if I can remember that Amelia: where's sir when you want him Jac: yeah, I hear that's what the garda do when they pull you over Jac: very impressive Amelia: good idea, they'll give me a lift home Jac: Ha, no Amelia: I'm walking that way because I just remembered I'd have to share a bed with Is Amelia: after that revelation about Tom's hygiene Jac: Can you please stop Amelia: no, then I'd just be standing in the road Jac: Why can't you just do what you're told and wait Amelia: 😂 hello, it's me, Amelia Jac: I mean it though Jac: you're scaring me Jac: what if Erin's brother or boyfriend followed you Jac: or you fall over into the river or a ditch Amelia: I made it clear that I wasn't interested, he's too 😳 to follow me Amelia: and I'm going home, not sightseeing Jac: I don't want you to get hurt Amelia: so don't hurt me Jac: don't do reckless shit because you're 💔 Amelia: I won't if you don't Jac: when do I ever do anything reckless? Amelia: when do you ever like boys from the basketball team? Jac: that's not reckless Jac: boys are easy Amelia: you could still get hurt Jac: Boys don't make me cry either Amelia: you make yourself cry Amelia: SUCH a virgo Jac: shut up, scorpio is a water sign Jac: you only get your sting out if provoked Amelia: yeah, I know, I'm really in touch with myself and who I am, thanks Amelia: too self aware if anything Jac: see, touchy Jac: not coming for your astrology knowledge Amelia: it's not in depth anyway Amelia: I'm sure Savannah knows way more about it Jac: She's a taurus, if you wanna say something about that Amelia: I already knew that Jac: oh, it's probably in her bio Amelia: probably Jac: unless you've made her birth chart Amelia: I don't take after my mum hard enough to know the exact time Savannah Moore was born Jac: 👩🏻👧🏻 Amelia: I do want my mum though Amelia: she'd know what to do Jac: Get a taxi Jac: go home Jac: she's not going to be mad Amelia: yeah she will Jac: only a little Jac: she'd be madder to know you're literally walking the streets right now Amelia: from Erin's not Land's end Amelia: you're more dramatic than me Jac: how would you walk from Land's end Jac: you're terrible at Geography Amelia: is now the time for a lesson? 🤓 Jac: it would be if you listened to a word I said Jac: 😎 Amelia: I would've if you'd said this hours ago Amelia: shots ago Jac: how was I to know you weren't having the best time ever Amelia: how would I have the best time ever without you? Jac: Who was that girl you were smoking with? Jac: was too blurry for me to tell Amelia: 🤔 Jac: You can tell me Amelia: I don't think she told me her name Amelia: it was very mysterious Jac: right Amelia: very 😎 you could say Jac: you could Jac: but if it was a lad that tried it you'd call it a line Amelia: if it was a lad I'd have knocked them off the top step Jac: exactly Amelia: but it wasn't a lad or a line Jac: yeah Amelia: and it won't be happening again anyway Jac: the smoking or the mystery girl? Amelia: either/both Jac: don't make promises you can't keep Amelia: it's an easy one to keep Jac: there's gonna be more parties Jac: more fond memories to make Amelia: 🚭🚷 Jac: you don't write captions Jac: didn't technically break your rule Amelia: I said I would for you Jac: I know you did Jac: but it's about more than me Amelia: yeah Jac: you know it's okay, don't you Amelia: it doesn't feel okay so no Jac: does the alternative feel any better Amelia: you're trying to confuse me now Jac: no I'm not Jac: do you wanna go out with one of Ty's mates Amelia: of course I fucking don't Jac: then there you go Jac: the alternative has to be okay Amelia: no it doesn't Amelia: because it's not an alternative Amelia: like red wine or white Jac: okay, then you don't have any choice in it Jac: more reason it has to be okay Jac: and that isn't a competition, by the way Amelia: you love a competition Jac: Red Jac: a good rose Jac: white, never ever, unless you really have to Amelia: all wine is disgusting, stop lying to yourself Jac: you didn't care about disgusting when you were necking shots Jac: or smoking Amelia: I'm not pretending I liked it Jac: I'm not either Jac: I've acquired the taste Amelia: this isn't when you're the cutest Jac: 🙄 Jac: you can't just eat sweets and crisps, forever Jac: someone has to force you to enjoy broccoli Jac: it's the same thing Amelia: she's not that kind of mum Amelia: so actually, I can do what I want Jac: you'll get fat and spotty Jac: and get type-2 diabetes Amelia: Savannah will be thrilled Amelia: Erin's brother/boyfriend will get over it Jac: what about you Jac: how will you feel Amelia: 💔 probably but I do already Jac: you'll feel sick, more likely Jac: everything is a habit, you just have to form the right ones Amelia: I feel sick already too Amelia: the vertigo-ish thing Jac: I did tell you to sit down Jac: are you wearing heels? Amelia: boots though Amelia: it's a fat heel Jac: you need to be as close to the ground as you can Jac: don't crawl though Jac: you will get picked up then Amelia: the very drunk 🐛 Jac: in that dress it's practically an invitation Jac: for a passing stray, or creepy dude Jac: just watch out for glass, and dog shit Amelia: you don't like my dress!? Jac: I like it Jac: I'm saying your arse would fully be out if you even bent over a bit Amelia: I'm not bending anywhere Amelia: 🤢🤮 Jac: just focus please Amelia: 👀 🔎🔭🔬 Jac: how far are you from yours? Amelia: you're trying to throw me out of this chat too, are you? Jac: I'm trying to see how much longer I need to worry about you, idiot Amelia: no longer, because I'm alright Jac: no you aren't Jac: you feel sick and heartbroken Jac: and you're walking home alone, trashed Amelia: you weren't worried earlier Jac: when? Amelia: when you told me to shut up and meet my mum Jac: I already told you why Jac: you were gonna say something Jac: and you did need to go to the ballet, that's nothing for me to be concerned about Amelia: I was 💔 then, you can't just care when you want Jac: I do care Jac: and did Jac: I can't fix it Amelia: I know x3 Jac: stop saying I don't care Amelia: okay Jac: and tell me where you are Amelia: that's geography Jac: if you're in Land's end, you've really fucked this up Amelia: 😂 Amelia: I'm over halfway but to my 🏠 Jac: Good Jac: you've eat into my beauty sleep enough Jac: keep up the pace Amelia: for you it's just called 😴 Jac: now was that 🤓 or 😎 Amelia: it was 🥰 Jac: I won't push you off the stairs in your current state Jac: not a fair fight Amelia: I fell up the curb before Amelia: maybe you're right about the numbing Jac: have you hurt yourself Jac: you need to clean it when you get in, properly Jac: you don't need stitches, do you Amelia: I haven't bled to death so no Jac: Okay, good Jac: you live nowhere near a hospital and they're the worst at this time Amelia: my parents would rage if they had to take me to A&E Jac: that's why you should take the first aid course with me Jac: and for your uni app Amelia: is Savannah taking it with us? Jac: You're suggesting I tell her she can't Amelia: I'm saying I can't if she is Amelia: I will throw that dummy at her before I ever 💋 it in front of her Jac: You said you wanted to spend time with me Jac: she's part of the deal Amelia: but I don't want my first 💋 experience to be a first aid plastic person Jac: Her name's Annie Amelia: okay, it's a date now, yeah? Amelia: all I need's a name and I'm 😍🥰😘 Jac: you didn't get one earlier Amelia: I didn't kiss her earlier Jac: they're more rubbery too Jac: not like a sex-doll but you know Jac: give her some respect Amelia: you're so annoying Jac: rude Jac: and hypocritical, you woke me up for this Amelia: did I? Jac: It doesn't matter now, won't be able to sleep 'til you're home Amelia: why isn't your phone on silent? Jac: It is but I still hear it vibrate Jac: it could be important Jac: case in point Amelia: or you were hoping it was someone else Jac: Connell probably got with someone else at the party Jac: life goes on Amelia: which one is he? Jac: the only one that looks like he might have a few brain cells on the team Amelia: 📙👆🏀 Amelia: can he do that twirly thing? Jac: with a book balanced on his head Jac: if he can I'll go out with him Amelia: 😕 Jac: don't make that face at me Amelia: 🙁 Jac: wrong direction Amelia: you can't practice on me for how to tell boys what to do with their face Jac: boys are always 😍🥰😘 Jac: they do the hard work for you Amelia: they are hard work Jac: to like Jac: just pretend Amelia: why? Jac: it makes life easier Jac: actually, you don't even have to like them Jac: when Is isn't talking about how tall they are, she's talking about how crap they are, like you said Jac: no one will notice the difference Amelia: it didn't make my life easier tonight that they didn't notice I wasn't doing anything for their benefit Amelia: literally the opposite Jac: you can't opt out of being a girl Jac: unless you literally do, and I don't think that's a walk in the park so Amelia: I don't want to, but I'm not a girl for them Jac: I know that Jac: they're oblivious Amelia: I know that Jac: you can use it or be annoyed by it Jac: that's all Amelia: you're tired, you're being cynical Jac: hi, I'm Jac Jac: I'm always cynical, and I'm right Amelia: no you're not, and I don't want to use lads for anything, thanks Jac: then don't Jac: say you did, imply it Amelia: why? Jac: so Sav stops trying to set you up with a basketball boy and Is stops telling you how amazing/terrible it all is depending on her mood Amelia: I'll tell Sav to stop and Is never will whatever else happens Jac: what do you want Amelia: 🏠🛏💤 Jac: keep walking Jac: you can be asleep before me I bet Amelia: I don't want that though Jac: you just said you did, silly Amelia: not you lying awake because of me Jac: There's lots on my mind Jac: virgo, right Amelia: if you want to talk about it, I'm drunker than I've ever been Amelia: probably a good time Jac: I don't think I do Amelia: sounds virgo-ish Jac: you don't like talking either Jac: it works Amelia: not to anyone else Amelia: but this is you Jac: do you want to say it Jac: or do you wanna wait 'til you aren't drunk or sad or anything else but sure Amelia: I don't know Jac: then I'd wait Amelia: I just want you to come back Amelia: how long do I have to wait for that? Jac: I don't know Jac: what you mean Amelia: you do Jac: I think this is who I am now Jac: who I need to be Amelia: which one? Who you are or who you need to be? Jac: that's the same person Amelia: not necessarily Jac: it should be Amelia: should Amelia: I shouldn't hate Savannah, but I do, I should be a better friend to Is but I'm not Amelia: I shouldn't scare you or wake you up in the middle of the night Amelia: but that's happened Jac: You needed help Jac: that's okay Jac: I don't know about the rest Amelia: No, I just needed to talk to you Amelia: and I don't think that's okay now Jac: why not? Amelia: I can't remember but there were loads of reasons Jac: if that's what you want Amelia: it's not Jac: then don't stop talking to me Amelia: I'll scroll up to where you said you don't want to talk Amelia: it wasn't ages ago Jac: just about what's going on in my head Jac: anything else is fine Amelia: okay Jac: you don't have to think of something right now Jac: you aren't being timed Amelia: you can get my uni app off your mind, that's years away Jac: three years Jac: school years, at that Amelia: I might take a gap year, that's even longer Jac: really Jac: where are you going to go? Amelia: it's years away Amelia: I haven't planned it yet Jac: well then you can't say you're having one yet either Amelia: I didn't, I said I might Amelia: like I might not go to uni at all too Jac: you might die in a ditch Jac: you can still plan for not Amelia: not if I die in a ditch in three years Amelia: or four Jac: don't you care Jac: what you're going to do Amelia: I care about this year and about now Jac: I need to check your rising sign Amelia: maybe it'll put you to sleep Jac: now who's trying to get rid of who Amelia: I care about that Amelia: you being okay Jac: You can't fix it either Amelia: not without knowing what's wrong Jac: exactly Amelia: I can use 🥺 too, Sav doesn't own it Jac: is that gonna help us work it all out? Jac: fell free to go ahead, like Amelia: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Amelia: talk to me Jac: I literally am Amelia: about what's going on in your head Jac: I don't know Jac: or get it either Amelia: I didn't say you have to make sense of it Jac: I can't, Meels Amelia: I've never had to beg you before and I don't know how to Jac: don't Amelia: not being able to fix this is scarier than being out here Jac: I know Jac: if it could be different Amelia: or the same as it used to be Jac: or the same as it used to be Jac: it can't though Amelia: I'm home Jac: Picture please Amelia: [imagine that blurry picture please, the state of this gal rn] Jac: it's like an impressionistic painting of your house Jac: but I'll take it as evidence Amelia: and I'll use it as art homework Jac: remember the portrait you did of me Amelia: I still have it Amelia: wait, I'm gonna find it Jac: I bet you've already woken your parents up Jac: any more noise and they definitely won't leave it 'til morning Amelia: if they were asleep but don't think about that Amelia: where would it be? 🤔 Jac: I keep telling you you need proper portfolios for your work Amelia: maybe Savannah will buy them for me Amelia: she's like SO generous Jac: it's not a money thing, you're just messy Jac: so sh Amelia: and I don't have a job Amelia: you shh, I'm searching Jac: your parents would get them for you Amelia: god, I was crap at painting a year ago Amelia: your portrait is going to look nothing like you, I'll probably find it and not realise Jac: well I still liked it Jac: and your teacher did Jac: though maybe she was just thrilled you handed anything in Amelia: 😂 yeah Amelia: OH MY GOD! here it is Jac: show me then! Amelia: 😳 Jac: come on Jac: or I'll 🥺 Amelia: [does show her and of course it's super gay and feelsy because we were on our bullshit even back then gals] Jac: [it's a shame the fan art would be of her as Lexa like always] Jac: see, I remembered it being good Jac: you should believe in yourself more Amelia: I believe I could do better now Amelia: if everything would stop violently tilting Jac: you need to close your eyes, or at least be in a dark room right now Jac: not trying to make art Amelia: if my parents really loved me they'd have installed a light switch that I don't have to get up for Jac: did I mention lazy as well as messy Jac: and you need to get some water Amelia: 😵 Jac: you know I'm not sympathetic Amelia: but you don't want me to puke just because you're mad at me Jac: I'm not mad at you Amelia: my mum will be if I ruin this rug Jac: you shouldn't have got so pissed Amelia: how else am I meant to deal with my emotions? in a healthy way? No Jac: I can't lecture you Jac: not now anyway, maybe later Amelia: you are though, a little bit Jac: if you reckon that then your parents really aren't strict enough Amelia: they're really not, miracle baby privileges are lifelong in this 🏠 Jac: you're gonna turn out so ill-adjusted Jac: good thing they won't care though Amelia: I probably already am Jac: probably Amelia: but at least I don't need stitches Jac: 🌤 Amelia: remember when I did Amelia: terrifying Jac: safe to say it dashed any dreams of wanting to be a surgeon Amelia: I thought the scar was going to be so ugly but you wouldn't let me get another fringe Jac: the only other person with a forehead scar is harry potter and it's a favourable comparison Jac: there's lots of bitches with fringes Amelia: my parents definitely don't love me enough if it's not a ⚡️ Jac: that sounds like they were practising ritual scarification Amelia: but you do, you said I could never be ugly Jac: because you couldn't Amelia: did I cry? I feel like I should be crying now Jac: a bit Jac: but I didn't tell and your mum just thought you were in loads of pain so you got ice cream Amelia: it bled more than it hurt Jac: headwounds do Jac: and you've got a massive head Amelia: tomorrow I will Amelia: it'll feel HUGE Jac: be thankful Is can only message you Jac: not talk you into another headache Amelia: she has been Jac: yeah? Amelia: I don't know what to say Jac: is she going into too much detail Amelia: always Jac: just tell her she's making you 🤮 Amelia: is this who I am now? Jac: a person with normal boundaries? Amelia: someone on the other fucking side Jac: of what Jac: what are you on about Amelia: everything Amelia: left out of it Jac: you don't want to be like Is Amelia: she's not 💔 Jac: that's just who she is Jac: she's not got anything in her life that makes her Amelia: neither have I Jac: you clearly do Jac: or a lack of something, either way Amelia: or I'm dramatic, like you said Jac: is that how it feels? Amelia: yeah Jac: okay, you're just dramatic then Jac: go get some sleep Amelia: or everyone's gaslighting me Jac: sounds a bit like a conspiracy theory Amelia: lack of trust is very scorpio-ish of me Jac: true Jac: you're just being true to type Amelia: I'm going slowly insane, true to my artistic type Jac: you can have your 💙 period Amelia: shame I didn't go blue outside Jac: or not Jac: I'm glad you're back Amelia: so you can go and get some sleep Jac: why do you want to make me out as so selfish Amelia: because that would make sense Amelia: and it wouldn't be my fault Jac: nothing is your fault Jac: regret is just a requirement of a hangover, with the shame Amelia: we can't go back because you want Savannah as a friend more than me Amelia: if that's not my fault or you being selfish and shallow I don't know how to make sense of it Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: but if you need it to be one of those two Jac: go with the latter Amelia: in 3rd class after Ms Brennan paired me with Georgia for the school trip and she got it into her head we were going to be best friends, you were upset and I told her to leave me alone Amelia: I didn't say to you that if you wanted to hang out with me then she was part of the deal Jac: Georgia was lame Amelia: and you think Savannah is the coolest, I know Jac: we aren't in third class Amelia: exactly, we've been friends longer than that now and you won't do that for me Jac: you can't expect me to do that Jac: we should have more friends Jac: go see if Georgia still wants to be your bestie Amelia: she won't if I message her now, unless she was at the party too Amelia: maybe she'd still be up Jac: don't be stupid Jac: obviously wait 'til you're sober Jac: she'd think you were trying to booty call her Amelia: I've got loads of them Jac: Lucky you, right Amelia: not really Jac: Connell hasn't messaged me yet Amelia: he's probably waiting until he's sober Amelia: so you don't think he's stupid Jac: I doubt he's put that much thought into it Amelia: don't you care? Jac: should I? Amelia: you like him Amelia: being thought about is like the bare minimum Jac: he wants me, that's all I need Amelia: loads of people want you and you didn't need any of them Jac: we're older now Amelia: yeah Amelia: we are Jac: if I don't want a boyfriend, there's the alternative Amelia: okay Jac: like you said, they think you're weird Amelia: you care about all the wrong things Jac: says you Amelia: I also said I don't want to fight anymore Jac: There's nothing to fight about Jac: get some sleep Amelia: just everything to fight for Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm going, I'm going Jac: that's not what I meant Amelia: do you want to say what you mean? Jac: don't be mad at me, okay Amelia: I can't be mad at you Jac: Sorry Amelia: you're sorrier than you've ever been and I'm drunker Amelia: we really are older now Jac: ain't it fun Amelia: you'll have fun again tomorrow Amelia: or the next day Jac: that's a promise or a threat Amelia: Savannah won't let you be sad or any longer than it takes her to apply a facial Amelia: for* Jac: don't I deserve to be happy Amelia: of course you do Jac: then what's the problem? Amelia: Sorry Jac: yeah Jac: I know Jac: forget it, let's just Jac: tomorrow's a new day Amelia: I don't think facials cure hangovers Jac: it's all about hydration actually Jac: so it wouldn't hurt Amelia: it would if she applied it Amelia: whispering is a foreign language Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 🥱 Jac: go then Amelia: if that's what you want Jac: you're tired, don't be annoying Amelia: I'm tired of you defending her constantly Jac: I can't help that there's nothing wrong with her Amelia: she's annoying, don't call me annoying Jac: don't act like I'm making you go to sleep, or that you can't if I don't say so Amelia: I swear to god, it's like we're in a parallel fucking universe and I'm the only one who realises Jac: I like Savannah Amelia: Why? She's the same person you used to not like Jac: No, we didn't know her then Amelia: you sound like her, acting like her boyfriend magically appeared last year when she thinks he got hot Jac: Do you reckon randoms like Georgia know you as well as I do? Amelia: it doesn't mean she can't have an opinion Jac: no, but it means it's not as informed Amelia: she'll change her mind once we're best friends Amelia: I haven't changed mine about Savannah Jac: well I have Amelia: why don't you trust me? Jac: It's not about trusting you Jac: I've got my opinion, you've got yours Amelia: 😕 Jac: it doesn't have to be Amelia: what do you want me to do, spend even MORE time with her? Jac: I don't need you to like her Amelia: what then? Jac: Accept that I do, that's it Amelia: just don't like her more than me Jac: we aren't little kids any more Jac: you'll always be my first best friend, nothing can change that Amelia: I wish we were Jac: I know Jac: we can't go back though Jac: no matter how hard we wish it Amelia: I'm not stupid, I know it wasn't perfect Amelia: but I can't keep feeling like this going forward Jac: no, you can't Jac: what are you going to do? Amelia: I don't know Jac: one for the morning Amelia: one for my mum Jac: probably Amelia: if she can't help me I'll fully lean into the insane artist thing Jac: you're going to be okay, Meels Jac: I know you will Amelia: please go back to being cynical or I'm going to cry Jac: I'll do my best Amelia: thanks Jac: just keep away from 💛 paint okay Amelia: if I use it all to paint my room I'll be safe Amelia: and obviously cheered up Jac: have you made that much of a mess Jac: 🤢 🤮 Amelia: RIP to this rug, the only thing in here my mum liked Jac: oh god Amelia: Savannah will love me for giving her the chance to go 🛍 Amelia: we can all go Jac: that's true Amelia: Is will probably have 🤮 too Amelia: maybe right now, she's gone very quiet Jac: I should probably message her Amelia: tomorrow, you're 😴 as far as she knows Jac: a good out Jac: she's fine, right Amelia: she's 😍🥰😘 Amelia: that's fine for her Jac: Does she like Savannah Amelia: you read how excited she was about matching manicures Jac: right Jac: she doesn't fake stuff Amelia: so she must like her Jac: I don't know why she likes me Amelia: Is likes anyone who doesn't take a boy from her Jac: Yeah Jac: it's hard to feel sorry for her Amelia: anyway, you're a really easy person to like Jac: we aren't good friends to her Amelia: she's not perfect herself Jac: she's just oblivious though Amelia: I'll do better by her Jac: I don't know if I will Amelia: why not? Jac: I don't think I can be bothered Amelia: 😂 Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not funny though, really Amelia: a little bit Jac: you think I'm a bad person? Amelia: no Jac: okay Amelia: if I have to accept that we're not kids and everything's different, she can too Jac: we'll all have to Amelia: she'll probably get a proper boyfriend like Savannah soon anyway Amelia: then it'll be her who can't be bothered with us Jac: you're right Jac: hope it's not Tom Jac: or Josh??? Amelia: she can have one of the many lads in my inbox Jac: how generous of you Amelia: no ulterior motives Jac: just to palm them off Amelia: she'll enjoy it Jac: too much Amelia: I'll listen to her talk about it over doing it Jac: mhmm Jac: I have to go now Amelia: oh Amelia: okay Jac: I've got so much homework to do tomorrow Jac: I need at least some sleep to not totally tank it Amelia: at least we could spend time together in detention Jac: That is NOT happening Amelia: I'm joking, go Jac: Night ❤ Amelia: yeah Jac: aren't you going to wish me sweet dreams? Amelia: you're too virgo Amelia: too much on your mind Jac: you could still wish for me Jac: even if it won't happen Amelia: I do Jac: Thanks Jac: can you dream when you're drunk? Amelia: I don't really dream a lot Amelia: maybe I only can when I'm drunk Amelia: what if Jac: that's a terrible excuse for alcoholism Jac: but tell me in the morning Amelia: you'll have to remind me Jac: deal Amelia: goodnight Jac: 👋💤 Amelia: ❤❤❤

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 5 years ago

Text

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Summertime on Netflix

This is what I’m gonna do... I’ll be doing more structured reviews later and most likely liveblogging suggested stuff and tagging with “Nesha Watches (Insert Title) for all liveblog posts. For this first review, I won’t be as structured, because I didn’t really plan on reviewing, so this is basically all of my comments to friends @chenoahchantel and @daintyurbanprincess that were made whilst I was watching this show suggested to me by @rbaifzau

It didn’t take me long to be annoyed with the white boy in this show. It doesn’t take much anyways, but one episode in and I’m over him already. This dude saw her at a party, she got pushed into the pool accidentally, he gave her a dry shirt, and two minutes later tried to kiss her… TF..

Girl, this bout to be IGNANT...

Chile... She was like, "What are you doing?" And he looked surprised. Like whet. And in episode 2 after having seen her thrice and spoken to her once, he telling his best friend, "I'm pretty sure I like her a lot." I HATE stuff like this. Why did I tell old girl I'd watch this and discuss it with her? 😭

But she like him, so like??? 😭

And her daddy, who we haven't seen yet is presumably a rolling stone. Only one negro in this town and the nigga gotta be probably running around on his wife? 🙄 I'm like, OH, so the one Black man in the show gotta be a rolling stone? And even though his wife is also highly irresponsible as a parent, she's sort of made out to be the victim of his dreams. They never portray Black mothers doing things on their own as victims. That woman was messing up left and right and it's all on her husband not being there, when that's only part of the problem.

Also, if she IS the only present parent and made the decision to do that, she should be doing it instead of leaning on Summer all of the time.

And she got a close friend that have an obvious crush on her but she seems oblivious. I hate dis

This dude reminds me of Max Theriot. He always looked musty to me. 🤣🤣🤣 He look like him breaf stank. Him and Jack Griffo were working on something where they play soldiers and I absolutely said, "He still look like he stank" when I saw him on Instagram…

This is basically the same mold of dude and it looks moldy and should be tossed out. None for me, thanks.

But, there are moments in this show that's really cracking me up. 🤣🤣🤣 It's like, I feel like I should enjoy it for the messiness of it, but the main characters can be infuriating.

She called him an asshole and he said, "You don't even know me." No duh dipshit. She ain't know you when you tried to kiss her neither. NOR when you was talmbout you like her.

This girl kissing her friend!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She's gonna hurt this boy! My Gwad. He finna be discombobulated. 😭😭😭 He all happy today and she don't even see him like that. Lordt.

He walked up and she look uncomfortable AF. Her younger sister is like, "You're being weird." 🤣🤣🤣 Even SHE hip to something. He on the beach talmbout "It's hot today, don't you think?" And took his shirt off. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I like Summer's friends and feel bad for them because she really didn't treat them kindly. She used Edo whenever she was upset by Ale and then she just completely ditched Sofie on her birthday and didn't even text her or anything. Just had her waiting on her and didn't even apologize. Like, I love that she gets a chance to be human, but being an asshole to the people who you're supposed to be friends with is such an upsetting trope to me.

And the connection between her and Ale is so weird. He comes across as super predatory in the beginning and I don't understand why she liked him in the first place, but also whenever he does something by mistake, she is so angry at him, even though she's been just as inconsiderate when it comes to her friends.

NOW... HE HARASSING HER AT HER JOB.

WOTTICE DIS HUNNY???

Talmbout if she got a boyfriend he'll "take care of him" 😖 After she told him to leave and he said he'd wait for her outside, she asked her coworker, "What do you do to let a guy know you like him back?"

NOW, she went outside and he's there, but her friend showed up to surprise her after work. 🤣 Whoever made this HATES me

He stole a book out her locker and left a card with his phone number. How is this the start of a romance???

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. FRIEND IS TALKING ABOUT THE KISS...He said it was perfect........

Chile... And she don't even wanna tell their other best friend. Bruh. He said, "What we have doesn't need to be discussed." Summy PLEASE tell this young man...HE TRIED TO KISS HER AGAIN AND SHE SAID, "We just talked about last night's mistake" 😭😭😭

And she done hurt my friend this way, but she worried about Maxface because his mama can't reach him on the phone??? Girl.. go.. girl...

The gag is that she got mad at Ale because she saw him talking to his ex and she had to cover for him at work, but you've now ACTUALLY put your best friend in a bad space. And he ran into her mom and little sister and looked so uncomfortable but kept it short and sweet. These are people he loves. Idk. I feel bad for him and also like she kind of a hypocrite.

That was what REALLY bothered me. I don't expect her to be perfect, by all means. Black girls should be allowed their imperfections and their mistakes, but the fact that she knows what it's like to have the people you love be so absent and that she would treat her friends this way because of one guy who she's only known for a couple of months was disappointing for her character. She could have been written imperfectly without this glaring problem that I don't believe a real person in her position would actually have.

I think in real life, the girl who raises her sister and basically has to lift her mother up all the time would overextend herself to her friends, but instead, she just leaves them in her dust as soon as she gets some dick. 😭

He is now hanging out with her little sister. 😭😭😭She goes to school with them but she looks tiny. I'm cringing at everything.

BRUH. Like... I can't tell if they're trying to or not, but I wouldn't be surprised because he's cool with the sister too, but they've been friends a while, so I didn't think much of it until Summer hurt him.I thought she liked him earlier, so idk if he is noticing her or I just EXPECT it.

OAN, this man realized his son had a motorcycle accident on purpose and got mad instead of concerned

At one point, they say he's been riding bikes for 20 years, and whenever his father is mad that he had his accident on purpose (which I'll come back to) he says that he's never made a mistake like that, not even was he was 4, so Ale is AT LEAST 24 and she JUST turned 18. Which is WILD to me, even though at 18 I dated someone who was 23 (he was possessive and abusive, so I have a real suspicion of age gaps).

But, aside from that - she gets mad at him any time she sees him with his ex when It is perfectly fine to speak with your ex and whenever she did see them together, it was always innocent and she didn't give him a chance to explain.

But then, when he does something questionable, like whenever he tried to kiss her the first day they met, or whenever he came to her job to ask her out and she told him to leave but he said he was going to wait outside (toxic AF and presumptuous) she is fine with those things.

Now, back to Ale's accident. I really felt so bad for him whenever we discover he did this on purpose, because his father is mad, when they should be concerned. His mother says, "You could have died" and he agrees...

How did they not notice that meant that this young man was so disappointed with his life as a biker that he was literally suicidal? They just grazed past it and whenever he vanished on them, there wasn't a huge call to find him,even though he'd just admitted to purposefully filling a possibly fatal mistake.

I'm prepared for nothing but disappointment. ALL these people outta there. Ale's best friend is in love with his ex. 😭 IT'S SUMMER'S 18TH BIRTHDAY. MYNIGGA She really stood her other best friend up to go get some dick on a little ass boat

The little sister shot her shot! 😭😭😭 He told her she's like his little sister and she burnt off mad denna muffugga

This child drunk, walking down the street in the middle of the night without her glasses...

OMG AS I WAS TYPING THAT SHE GOT HIT BY A DAMN CAR

I was really upset by these things coming to light, and also whenever Blue gets hit by a car, because all of the reviews that I've seen on this site have been that it's a cute love story with likable characters, but nobody mentions the problematic content, the dark portions of the story that can be triggering - like suicide and alcohol incidents and literally seeing a young Black girl be hit and run by a car???

I wasn't prepared for that shit in a "cute love story." I think that this story is less cute and more dark than people have made it out to be, and that's one of my problems with it. It isn't marketed as a dramatic coming of age story. It's marketed as a romantic comedy, when it is more serious than that and has a lot of issues that should be considered.

The lesbian best friend is in love with her too??????????????????? I. Hate. This.

My favorite person in this whole thing is the lesbian in the background, Irene. And also Dario.

I was entertained a lot of the times. Just heavily confused because I couldn't figure out what the tone was supposed to be. 😁

In conclusion - it's maybe a dark comedy, not a cute comedy, IS a coming of age about a young Black girl who is kind of an asshole, but Black girls should be free to be assholes too. White dudes do it all the time and are valued characters. The dude is weird AF for chasing around this 17 year old girl and he's in his 20s. Idk if that's normal in Italy. It's nasty to me. Their beginning is young people foolishness and there's not much that we see their relationship built upon, but that happens, yanno. You young, tired and silly and some pushy dude makes his move whenever he see you. Slap some discount sex in a dinghy on it and you have this show. I don't recommend it, but a lot of folk loved it, so I guess it did what it meant to do.

#BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Nesha Watches Summertime with Regrets #Nesha Watches Summertime #It's just called Summertime. I watched it with regrets but #Here was my takeaway #Summer Bennati #Summertime #summertime netflix #Nesha Watches

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