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galacticxcosmos · 4 years ago

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𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞 ❣︎ ᵏᵗʰ

Pairing :- Taehyung X Reader

Genre :- Bestfriends to Lovers AU, Erotic, Angst, Romance and Fluff.

Rating :- 18+ ( M )

Word Count :- 4.4k

Summary :- "Not everyone in this world deserves to be loved. I am one of those little number of unfortunate people" that's what you thought after your terrible breakup which led you to your bestfriend's appartment at midnight to seek comfort until things went way beyond just 'comfort'.

Warnings :- It's CEO Taehyung (but no office romance shit), Broke college student, Dom Taehyung, Sub reader, Some angst that idk how I managed to write, Sexual Tension, Buried feelings, Past feelings, Teasing, Morning Sex, Daddy Kink, Pinning, Oral (M receiving), Unprotected Sex, After care (omg) with fluff (omg).

A/N :- I know that I haven't been very active on Tumblr, but trust me I am trying my best, also I am still working on the next chapter for "Chemicals Collide", so please be a little more patient. Also I got inspiration for this Oneshot from Jungkook's cover, I think you guessed it already, but then I saw I had already written a JK Oneshot, so I gave this to Tae baby. Enjoy~

Not everyone in this world deserves to be loved. I am one of those little number of unfortunate people.

I could feel the numb pain in my stomach, feeling like I am going to throw up, going back and forth between feeling nothing and being unable to stop the tears. All I could think about was if this is really the end. I picked up my pace, now breaking into a fast jog towards Taehyung's house. Tears we're rapidly streaming down my face, uncontrollable at this point. I sprinted through the apartment complex, my legs moving as quickly as they could to get to him. I wiped my face with my sleeve as I got to his floor, a failed attempt to make myself look slightly okay.

I knew Taehyung would see right past these attempts though, he'll quickly understand that I've been sobbing with one glance in my direction. He knew me too well. After knocking on the door, there was a faint thud before someone cautiously opened the door. Taehyung stood there, slightly disheveled with the smell of alcohol dripping off of him. Right, Saturday means Taehyung gets shit faced every night. Although intoxicated, he quickly realised I wasn't okay. "What happened? Did someone hurt you? Do I need to go and fight someone?" He slurred slightly, stepping outside. I chuckled, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back into the apartment before he got the both of us locked out.

"How many have you drank?" I asked, going to the kitchen and grabbing a water bottle to give him. My legs were threatening to give out, but he should property drink something besides alcohol before he puts himself in a coma. I walked over to where he sat on the couch, handing him the water bottle before going to pick up bottles. Sure, drinking was absolutely terrible and Taehyung may have developed a problem. I just never comment on it because we all have our own ways of dealing with things, not all of them being good. After cleaning up his expensive ass apartment, I went to sit down with him. He was quietly watching TV, taking interest in some show that showed people getting hurt. He was slowly sipping his water, showing barely any interest in the almost full bottle he held in his hand.

"Tae, I asked, how many have you drank?" I asked again. "I counted like 10 while cleaning up." Taehyung didn't say anything, just shrugging as he propped his feet up on the ottoman. I sighed, following his actions and getting comfortable. It must be nice to have an apartment to yourself and not be stuck in a crammed dorm room with another person. Must be nice to not go to school and struggle everyday. Nice to not have your heart broken on the day of your anniversary. Without noticing, a small sob fell from my lips, catching Taehyung's attention instantly. Worry was written across his face as he peered over to me, one eyebrow raised.

"What happened?" He mumbled, moving to wrap one arm around me. He held me close to him, a mix of his cologne and alcohol filling my nose. "He broke up with me." I mumbled, another sob falling from my lips. I wrapped my arms around Taehyung's toned torso, hugging him like there was no tomorrow. "Isn't it your anniversary? Didn't you text me earlier today about everything?" He asked gently, trying not to make it seem like a big deal. Another sob fell, making him realise that maybe it wasn't a good idea to pull on that string. He sighed, moving so he could easily pull me into his lap. I quickly straddled him in order to bury my face in his neck.

My arms still held onto his torso as he wrapped his arms around me. He must've closed the water bottle and tossed it aside sometime earlier, deciding it was more important to comfort me. So, how the hell did a broke college student become best friends with one of the youngest CEOs in Seoul? It honestly still amazes me that we're even still friends, that I get the pleasure of being his best friend. He's everything you'd want in a person. Caring, beautiful, fit despite his work schedule, one of most hardworking people you'll ever meet.

We've been friends since we were teens, simple freshmen stuck together for a lab experiment. Thinking back on it, it's sort of funny because the first thing he ever said was I like your shirt. I smiled slightly, thinking back on the fond memories. Taehyung and I are some of the closest of people, and we're always joined at the hip when we aren't busy. I mean, we grew up together, figured out college together, lost our virginity to each other. I chuckled slightly thinking about it. Two teens frustrated and scared to lose it to someone who didn't know us. It just sort of played out one night, safe word established quickly since Taehyung was so worried. Taehyung shuffled slightly under me.

"What are you laughing about, Miss?" He teased, jabbing my sides. He's always loved fucking with me, and knew how to get on my nerves in just a few attempts. I decided to lie, figuring that, if he even remembered that night, he wouldn't want to hear about it. I shrugged, shoving my face into his neck further. "I was thinking about science when we were paired together." I said, my focus going to my shirt that was riding up slightly. Taehyung paid no attention to it, his hands resting on the bare skin of my back.

"Ugh, don't remind me." He laughed before mocking himself. "I like your shirt." I laughed, shaking my head at him. I sat up, my hands placed on his chest. He seemed tired, but sobering up a bit. His hands released my torso, going to wipe the tears off my cheeks. I smiled slightly before climbing off his lap and standing back up. "Finish drinking your water." I said, tossing the bottle over to where he was sitting. I walked into his living room, opening up the fridge and seeing what was there. I shrugged, settling on leftover takeout I'm assuming was from the shop near his work. I tossed it into the microwave before calling out to Taehyung.

"Do you want anything?" I asked, waiting for a response. "You." A small reply came, unsure and small compared to his normal loud ass. I laughed at him before asking the question once more. He simply said nothing, stating he wasn't hungry. He usually isn't when he drinks anyway. I took the takeout out, walking back into the living room. I sat and ate, making sure not to spill anything because I definitely couldn't afford to buy him a new one. This couch is probably my salary, the boy's got money. "Are you okay?" He asked, reaching over to rub my thigh. "Didn't I tell you he was a dick though? You should date better people. Like me."

I laughed at him, playfully swatting his hand away from me. I went back to my food, not paying attention to the hand creeping up towards my thigh once more. He rubbed his hand up my thighs once more, smiling slightly. "Taehyung, you're drunk." I mumbled, shoving food into my mouth once more.

Taehyung moved once more, placing his hand on my arm. Whines immediately came from me, complaining about the food and expensive couch. "Taehyung, I'm going to spill this on your couch and you're going to be mad at me" I threatened. "Fuck it. I can buy a new one." He mumbled, reaching up to smack the food out of my hand. I jerked my arm away, setting the tray down on the coffee table. "No you can't you drunk cunt." I mumbled, jumping over and pulling him down on the couch. I curled up under his arm, my face buried in his chest while I placed my arm on his side. He smiled, looking up at the TV after placing a kiss on my forehead. He held me closer, and continued to hold me until I drifted off to sleep.

∆∆∆

The sound of shuffling woke me up, my eyes barely adjusting to the bright light. Taehyung was shuffling next to me, struggling to get up. I let out a small grunt, moving so he could easily stand up. He apologized before running off to what I assumed was the bathroom. I smashed myself into the corner of the couch, trying to gain back the warmth that just left. Taehyung's chuckles filled the room as he passed by the living room, walking into the kitchen. He was probably going to go grab pain killers and a water. He waltzed back to the couch, plopping down. I let out a small grunt of disapproval.

"Come on, go and do your classes." He said, pulling me by my shirt towards him. He's always used his strength to do whatever, and it gets annoying every now and then. "Would you stop pulling me around like a ragdoll?" I said, rolling over to look at him. He had a smirk on his face, missing his shirt that he was previously wearing. "Go get a shirt on" I said. "No." He said, dropping a water bottle and laying down. I rolled over, cuddling into his warm embrace. His golden skin always give off warmth, and god I loved it. "Shouldn't you have classes to attend?" Taehyung asked, wrapping his arms around me. I rolled my eyes at him, wondering how stupid he has to be to not understand.

"I just got my heart broken yesterday, why would I want to do anything?" I mumbled, "I just want comfort and to rest for awhile." Taehyung nodded, holding me. He mumbled something that I didn't quite catch, but I was too lazy to ask what he said. "Why do you date douchebags? I mean, they don't give you the love you deserve and end up breaking your heart. You should find someone that actually cares about you." He mumbled, tangling his legs with mine. "Why does it matter to you Taehyung?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Because you come to my apartment at like 3 am sobbing usually. And you shouldn't even be out at that time, with someone else or alone for that matter. It's not safe. And you deserve better." He mumbled. "Would you stop worrying about that? I'll be okay." I could barely even finish my sentence when Taehyung crashed his lips onto mine, our lips molding together within seconds. Taehyung pulled away slightly, attaching his lips on to my jaw. My breath hitched, hands moving to grab at his arms.

"Taehyung, I don't think this is a good idea." I mumbled, his movements coming to a stop and his body stiffing. "I just mean we're probably just confused and I just broke up and you're a famous CEO hooking up with a college st-" I knew if I asked, he would immediately stop. It's not that I was afraid of him doing something stupid, I was afraid of the underlying feelings I had for my best friend. The feelings that make me want to cherish and love him just as much as have him fuck my brains out.

"Tell me y/n, do you really think I don't notice?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Think I don't notice the looks you give me when you think I'm not paying attention? You rubbing together your thighs when you're around me?". "Taehyung I still don't think-", "You don't think this is a good idea because you're afraid. You'll have a real man now, someone that will love and appreciate you as well as please you? Listen, I have no problem with that as long as you return it." He mumbled, moving over to whisper in my ear. "Do you know how much you affect me?"

He licked my ear, sucking slightly causing me to whimper. My eyes were screwed shut, head cocked to side. He climbed around so he could be on top, grinding our hips together slightly. His bulge rubbed against my thigh, rock hard. "Taehyung-", "Waste it on me y/n. Your love, please just this once. You waste it on everyone else, so why not me? Why not your best friend that's in love? Please, it's not going to hurt if it's just once." He mumbled, locking eyes with me. "Taehyung-", "Daddy." He corrected, is he serious right now?? He wants me to fill in his kinks now??

"Taehy-", "Did you not hear me babygirl?" He said, staring down at me. I gripped his torso, wondering how the hell I got myself into this situation. How I ended up here, with him. "Daddy, please." I said, coming out more whiny than I expected. He smirked slightly, a look of confidence flushing over his face. "What babygirl? Tell me so I can please you." He said, moving so his face was a mere millimeters away. "Kiss me."

He did, quickly getting rid of the space in between us. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling slightly. His hips slightly rolled into mine, pulling a moan from the both of us. Taehyung's hands slipped down, running up and down my sides, stopping to squeeze slightly. His hands found their way to my ass, squeezing and rubbing. "Daddy~" I whined, rolling my hips up into his. He let out a small groan, moving to place hot, open mouthed kisses all along my neck. He stopped to suck a small bruise here and there, making sure to leave his mark.

His hands slipped into my shirt, squeezing my sides. I giggled slightly, jerking away from the ticklish action. Taehyung smiled up at me before slipping my shirt up and eventually over my head. My arms instinctively went to cover my skin, Taehyung clicking his tongue slightly. "Come on babe, don't make me tie you up." He mocked, smirking at me. My eyes widened slightly, taking Taehyung back for a moment. "God, I don't remember a freak in highschool.", "Oh my God. Please don't." I said, staring at him. He's referring to losing our virginity to each other, embarrassing.

"So shy and innocent-", "I don't remember such a cocky shit in the bedroom either? You think you've gotten better?" I challenged. "I know I've gotten better." He answered. He's so full of himself. "Whoever cums first, loses." I challenged, staring up at him. He looked taken back. I smiled, sitting up in order to push him back on the couch. I straddled him, sitting on his hips as I took my bra off and tossed it somewhere across the room. Taehyung's hands flew up, squeezing and pinching what he could manage. I let out a small whine when he took a sensitive bud in between his fingers, twisting it roughly. My hips involuntary rolled, Taehyung's hips jerking up. I moved, going to pull on his shorts. The more I pulled down, I realized he wasn't wearing any underwear.

"This was your plan all morning?" I questioned. "Nope, just when I seen you over here looking like a fresh baked snack." He said, making me laugh at how stupid he was. I rolled my eyes, kissing his hips slightly. Once his shorts were off, he wasted no time kicking them halfway across the room. I giggled slightly, laying down on the couch so I was level with his cock. Taehyung threw his head back, his breathing becoming uneven. I licked a long stripe from bottom to top, stopping at the top to flick my tongue along his tip. I slowly wrapped my lips around his tip, sinking down slightly before coming back up. I took inch by inch until he hit the back of my throat, sinking down a bit more before coming up. A low moan fell from Taehyung as I swallowed around him, his hips involuntary bucked up into my mouth.

I fought off my gag reflex, hallowing my cheeks around him. I let him face fuck me, his hands roughly controlling my head to please himself. A loud whine fell from him, grabbing my hair and pulling my head up an off. He wrapped his fingers around his base, squeezing. Once he calmed down, he looked up at me. "Okay Miss, your turn." He said before basically pouncing on me. Our lips connected in a rush, molding together as his hands slipped into my jeans. He popped open the buttons with ease, sliding my jeans down my legs. His warms hands squeezed my thighs, coming up to link his fingers with my lace panties.

He pulled away from the kiss, locking eyes with me quickly before sinking down. He gently pulled off the lace, tossing it aside. After a bit, he nipped at my thigh, sucking a bruise. He continued nipping at my thighs, making me get more and more impatient. "Daddy! Please!" I whined, my hips bucking up. He moved, licking a long stripe. I whined as me began sucking on my clit, flicking his tongue every now and then. My hands were buried in his hair, resisting the urge to crush his head with my thighs.

I felt Taehyung's smirk, wrapping his arms around my thighs and pinning me down. I bucked my hips into his mouth, a low moan falling from my lips. "Taehyung, slow down." I whined, my legs shaking in his arms. He did, slowing down his tongue flicks. He let go one of my legs, moving his finger to me gently. Slowly, he pushed his finger in knuckle deep. I couldn't fight the loud moan that fell from me.

"God I fucking love your thighs." He mumbled, drawing circles where one of his arms was still wrapped around me. "So thick and full, so much better than the sticks that throw themselves at me." A small laugh came from me, shaking my head at him. "I'm sure you've had plenty of those sticks in here." He shook his head, drawing his finger out slowly before pushing it back in. I grabbed his wrist, positioning it a bit differently and told him to curl his fingers next time. He followed, hitting exactly where I needed him to. My whole body jerked, making him smile up at me.

"Fuck I've missed you." Taehyung groaned, talking to himself more than anything. I wasn't sure if he meant me, or my heat. I decided not to ask, not wanting to get hurt over something so stupid. His fingers picked up their pace, hitting exactly where I told him. Moans fell from my lips, my head thrown back as I held onto his head. Slowly, I felt an orgasm coming upon me. "Taehyung!" I whined, grabbing his arm and jerking him away. He could easily continue, overpower me completely with just one hand. But Taehyung isn't like that. He became instantly worried."Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Do you want to stop?" He asked, panic striking him from all sides.

I laughed, sitting up. I pulled him to me, kissing him as deeply as I could. "No, you're okay. Just, a bit overwhelming." I smiled. He nodded, sitting up. "Is it okay if I continue, I need to stretch you out. I'd hate to hurt you." He said, slightly hesitant with each word he spoke. "Of course. And what happened to the man that was just so cocky seconds ago?" I asked, teasing him. He scoffed, continuing. He started with one finger, slowly adding a second and beginning a scissoring motion.

Small moans fell from me, gripping his arm where I was able to. Looking down, Taehyung still wore his arrogant smile. After he deemed me stretched and ready enough, he sat up and in between my thighs. He looked around for a few seconds, for what I'm assuming is for a condom or something like that. "No condom." I mumbled, making his attention snap back over to me. His cheeks were slightly flushed and eyes full of concern and slight worry. "I'm on the pill." I reassured. "Yeah, but that's not a 100% you won't get pregnant." Taehyung mumbled, still worried. I laughed, shaking my head at him.

"It's pretty damn close, but if you're really that scared go find one. I'll be here waiting for you." I teased, watching his eyes narrow at me slightly. I giggled as he pounced on top of me, pinning my arms above my head with ease. A small smirk grew on my face as I nibbled slightly on his earlobe. "Daddy, please fuck me." Taehyung couldn't resist anymore, positioning himself before easily sliding in. He let out a loud grunt as he bottomed out, his head falling into my neck. "Fuck, when's the last time you've had sex?"

"What? What do you mean?" I asked, slightly panicking at his question. Taehyung slowly pushed himself up, sitting back on his legs with my thighs in his palms. I propped myself up on my elbows, watching as he slowly slid out before slamming back into me. I jolt of pleasure shot throughout my body. "You haven't been fucked in awhile, no? You're so tight." Taehyung said, placing on of my legs over his shoulder to give him better access. I let out a loud moan as he picked up his pace, gaining a steady and rather quick rhythm. Taehyung was letting out small grunts, his face becoming sweaty and his bangs sticking to his forehead.

"Ah, Taehyung" I whined, grabbing onto his arm as he pounded into me. He scoffed, leaning forward to nail my g-spot. He was folding me in half, basically. "I'll let that one slip, babygirl. But next time you're getting punished." He growled, crashing his lips onto mine while still maintaining his thrusts. As the kiss became rougher, so did his thrusts. The sound of skin hitting skin soon filled the room accompanied by moans. Taehyung's grip was harsh, holding onto my waist and thighs like it was the only thing keeping him alive. I could barely see straight anymore, pleasure washing over me. I smiled, remembering something Taehyung was absolutely weak for. I reached up, taking one of his sensitive buds in between my fingers and flicking it roughly.

He let out a throaty groan, head falling forward slightly. He was focusing on his thrusts, speeding up and slamming harder than before. Profanities spilt from the both of us, gripping onto whatever we could to keep us in place. "Fuck, I'm going to cum." Taehyung moaned, making me smirk up at him. I mumbled a small, then I win. His head shot up, completely forgetting about the dumb bet set long ago. His fingers went straight to my clit, roughly stimulating me. I yelped, holding onto his wrist for dear life while clamping down around him.

His thrusts we're sloppy and more desperate than before, quickly reaching his high. With a few lasts thrusts and moans, he came deep inside of me. As soon as he came, the stimulation caught up and sent me flying over. Bolts of pleasure shot throughout me, my toes curling and head thrown back into the sofa. I ripped Taehyung's fingers away from me, becoming too sensitive. He smirked, sliding his fingers into my mouth. I licked them, rolling my tongue in between. He watched, shaking his head.

My body was shaking, something Taehyung was quick to notice. He laid his body weight on top of me, kissing me with the most passion he ever has. The shaking came to an eventual stop, both of us relaxing for a few seconds. "Well, I guess we both lost." I mumbled, not really knowing how to not make this awkward. Taehyung laughed, shaking his head violently.

"Let's not do that weird thing where you think I'm going to suddenly leave you." He smiled, running his hands up and down my thighs. "I'll go run us a bath." He got up, jogging into the bathroom. I heard water turn on followed by a few drawers opening. After a few moments, he came back and scooped me up into his arms bridle style, making me laugh. Taehyung sat down first, then helping me sit down in between his legs. I let out a small hum, leaning against his torso and relaxing. "You know Taehyung, this is really nice." I smiled, letting him trace little patterns onto my shoulders and chest.

He smiled, kissing my shoulder gently. "Your girlfriend is going to be so lucky, she just doesn't know it yet.", "Well um, I was actually hoping you'd be my girlfriend. And I mean like, official official like dating and going out and doing things together." He laughed, "Not just hook-ups at 3 am.", "Are you serious? You're messing with me?" I calmly said, acting as if I didn't care but the frantic beating in my chest told another story. "Yeah, I've loved you since like high school." Taehyung said, becoming cheesy and acting offended when I made fun of him for it.

"I'd love to be with you Taehyung. I just think it's weird that the youngest CEO in the world is dating a broke college student." I said. "And don't get me wrong, I'm not dating you just because you're a CEO. I actually do love and care about you a lot. I always have cared about you in a more than friends way.", "Stop referring to yourself as a broke college student. You're my best friend since high school, my first ever love and my love now." He said, a dumb smile plastered across his face. I laughed, making fun of him again.

"I'm glad Taehyung. I love you too." I smiled, looking back and pecking his lips. He wore the brightest smile, kissing my shoulders while wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I smiled, "Jesus Christ I'm happy that dick broke up with me." Taehyung laughed in response, "Get broken up by a dick and then dicked down after. You fucking slut.", I laughed, turning around to punch him in the shoulder. "Says the one that was willing to fuck me right there, on the spot." I said, mocking him. "Hey, you never told me to stop. And if you did you know I would've." He said, beginning to ramble and get cheesy again. "Okay, relax. You just fucked me, don't get all phycological about it." You playfully rolled your eyes.

"You know what?? I am glad that this time you wasted it on me" he lovingly kissed your cheek.

The End.

Feel free to like or reblog, comment down any requests you have and you can follow me inorder to stay updated.

~peace out.

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inkandpen22 · 4 years ago

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Cuppa Tea, Cuppa Tea

Request: The first request is that the reader kinda is yawning a bit, but "oh, it's fine, I'm just studying a bit harder" but they're either lying and doing a bunch of work deep into the night (maybe translating old books or something) or it's insomnia, or actually studying til 4:00am or something (lots of "ors" I'm so sorry) and of course spike finds out and is like "I'm supposed to be the nocturnal one??" And I had a brief thought of somehow the reader being tricked to drink sleepy time tea or something that will make them sleep as much as they need, but idk if that would be weird 🤔 but anyway, I hope that made sense ^^;

Pairing: Spike x gender neutral reader

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Y/N is at Spike’s studying for a chemistry exam when Spike starts to worry for them.

A/N: sorry for the delay!!! This was so easy to write because honestly it’s relatable. Enjoy X

Masterlist

The words on the page start to blend and nothing makes sense anymore. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to process the words I'm staring at here. I have to pass this chemistry exam. I'm not even a chem major, stupid general education classes. I hear Spike move about behind me while his Passions episode comes to an end. Being one of the token full-fledge humans in the Scooby Gang means I'm sometimes dropped off at Spike's for safekeeping. Lately, there's a water demon terrorizing Sunnydale, so I've been instructed to come straight here after classes. Yet, Spike insists on meeting me right after the lecture. He went about finding out my course schedule so he can be thereafter my last class. Since I finish when the sun is still out, he has to use the tunnels on campus. He's the definition of smothering.

"Y/N, you need to go to bed," he advises, appearing beside the crypt I'm set upon.

My notes and textbook are laid perfectly on the crypt to study.

"Five more minutes," I yawn.

The candlelight is starting to radiate enough heat to feel it. They've been going all afternoon and well into the evening. Its light is starting to burn my eyes.

"You said that twenty minutes ago," Spike sighs, kneeling next to me.

"Oh bet, I thought it was only ten," I check my watch for the time.

Spike huffs in annoyance and snatches my textbook away.

"Hey!" I reach for the pages, but he moves it away.

"I'm so supposed to be the nocturnal one! Not you!" He reminds me with a fuss.

"Ever heard of insomnia?" I sass.

"It's not healthy," he preaches, setting my textbook down.

"Nor is being undead. That's a little pot calling the kettle black," I shrug while I reopen my book to the proper page.

"The more tired you get the more annoying you are," he grumbles, tossing his head back dramatically with a sigh.

"Dope," I nod with narrowed eyes.

"I hate you," Spike growls.

"Love to hear it," I mutter subconsciously as I continue reading.

"Ugh, oh my g-"

Absentmindedly, I read the chapter on proper chemical mixing. I can't even read the periodic table, how am I supposed to remember all of this?

I start to sing a familiar tune under my breath without much thought. "Oh say can you see by the dawn's-"

"Stop!" Suddenly, Spike's hand is covering my mouth. "Stop while you're ahead!"

"I was just getting started." My voice is muffled by his hand.

Spike slips his hand around and brings up the other to make me stare into his eyes.

"You're getting delusional!" He accuses.

"What's life without a little bad trip? Adds some spice," I dismiss carelessly.

"You're psychotic," he determines

"Says the serial killer," I shrug.

"You're! Losing! It!" He emphasizes.

"You! Eat! People!" I fire back mockingly.

"I need to so I can exist. You don't need to study to exist," he takes my textbook away again and strolls away.

"I need to so I can get a good job," I reason.

"Industrial America is overrated," he declares monotonously.

"You're also an old English man," I grumble.

"Yeah, so I know a few things," he smirks proudly.

"You never took school seriously?" I climb down from the crypt to fetch my book from him.

"Well... I went if that's what you mean. I had a rather expensive education," Spike describes vaguely.

I reach for my textbook and take it back civilly. "A White, upper-middle-class, during the Victorian Era, given a well-to-do private education? Well, color me shocked!"

"I can hardly stand you when you get in this mood. You need sleep," he rolls his eyes annoyedly.

"I hardly tolerate you every moment of every day. I need coffee," I correct.

"I will kill you," he threatens as per usual.

"Oh yes, bring me the sweet release," I grumble as I head back to my spot.

"You sicken me, you know that?" Spike questions sarcastically.

"Glad to hear it," I laugh humorlessly.

"Normally, people aren't so keen on being threatened," he reminds.

"Fair enough, granted I'm not 'normal,'" I form quotation marks with my fingers.

"Clearly," he mumbles.

"'Clearly,'" I mock his voice. "You even sound old!"

"I'm only one hundred and twenty-six!" He states, yet again, this week.

"Oh my goodness! You're right! My bad! You're practically a new spring chicken! Now get out there young one, and seize the day!" I tease.

"I'm going to make you a cup of tea," Spike declares, heading over to his make-shift kitchen. In reality, it's an electric kettle he plugs into an extension cord that's connected to somewhere outside.

"Coffee," I request, returning to my reading.

"Tea! You don't need any more coffee," he ridicules.

"You're depressing," I insult under my breath.

After a short time, Spike returns with a mug. I've managed to get through the last paragraph I've been struggling with.

"Here," he hands the white porcelain object to me.

The warmth of the mug contrasts the cold of my hands.

"What kind," I ask as I go to sip it.

"Green," he nods.

"Oo, so you are giving me caffeine," I wiggle my brows right as the liquid hits my lips.

"Only to shut you up," he sighs.

"Always the charmer," I wink.

After a moment of consideration and pondering, I can determine that this is good tea. Spike stands around waiting for my approval.

"This is nice, what brand is it?" I go in for another sip.

"An old one my mother used to use, been around for a while," he stammers.

"Lovely, thank you."

I compliment and he grumbles some response. ______________________ The sound of a distant lawnmower wakes me up in a jolt. I gasp for air, having been so deeply asleep that I hardly felt alive. I must've been more exhausted than I originally comprehended. My blurry vision adjusts to my surroundings and I'm tucked into a bed, but not my own. No, I know this bed. I've seen it before. The bright red sheets are hard to forget. Spike.

"What the-" I scream, "Spike!"

The bleach blonde vampy appears from behind a pillar across the room.

"Yes, Pet?" He says slyly, as though it's just any other morning.

"You asshole!" I curse at him as I hurry to get up.

"Feel refreshed?" He smirks.

"Did you drug me?" I come to the realization as I stand up that I don't remember falling asleep or getting into Spike's bed.

"Eh, somewhat," he explains vaguely. "I gave you camomile tea and maybe crushed up some melatonin in it."

My jaw drops, "you're insane!"

"Knocked you out like a bloody babe," he snickers, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"What time is it?!" I shake my wrist to my watch.

"Noon," Spike answers before I have the chance to check.

My eyes go wide as the harsh reality that I'm late to my class sinks in.

"Shit! Shit!" I rush to gather my things. "Fuck me! I have my test in thirty minutes!"

Spike strolls about casually around me, not giving two shits.

"You'll be fine," he assures calmly. "The sleep will help."

"It better!" I growl at the vamp.

"I'll pick you up after your class. We'll get coffee," he suggests with a smug expression.

"You don't drink coffee," I glare as I pack up my backpack.

"Damn straight, but you do. My treat," he offers.

"Oh, so kind!" I remark sarcastically as I struggle to slip my arms through my backpack and get my shoes on at the same time.

"Have fun!" He waves as I head to the door. "Good luck!"

"Fuck you!" I bid farewell as I slam the tomb door behind me.

"Coffee!" He shouts from inside as I stroll away. "Four o'clock! I'll pick you up!"

"Okay! Fine! Fine!" I yell in agreement, despite everything that just happened.

God, I hate to love him.

__________________________

Masterlist

Tags: @mx-pibbles

#spuffy #spike x buffy #spike fanfic #spikexreader #spike #buffy summers #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagine

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ongjaewonx · 4 years ago

Text

Basorexia

Sudden urge to kiss someone.

NSFW

Atsumu x Fem!reader

Warnings: Degradation, Angry & Locker room sex, dom! Atsumu.

1st set.

Atsumu scanned the audience. No signs of you there. What is he expecting anyways? It's not like your coming to his game right now to see him play. You fought last night so why bother?

2nd set.

The opponent took the first set. They didn't mind, they know they would win in the end afterall.

Time out.

Atsumu checked his phone. No new messages. He took a deep breath. It's not like you would text him. You're at work right now. You're busy. He needs to understand that.

His teammates patted his back to make him come back to his senses. Right, Focus. He needs to focus on the game, not on you, who isn't even supporting his match right now.

3rd set.

Inarizaki took the last set. If they could take this set, they would win this match. While the whole team was talking about the strategy, Atsumu still searched for you in the crowd.

Where were you? Oh right. Your at your stupid work. Working with your stupid ex. Who happens to get on his nerves all the time. Who happens to be the reason why he was mad at you last night. You even defended the guy and it was annoying as hell, it makes his blood boil everytime.

Atsumu gripped his water bottle tighter to the thought of the fight last night. Now he was getting frustrated and pissed. All he wants is for you to support him just this once and take a break from work is that too much to ask for?

His teammates told him it was time to go back to the game, breaking his trance to the thought of you and so he did.

The game was intense and it was a deuce now, 31-32, one wrong move from Inarizaki. They could lose the match and they wouldn't want that.

Atsumu was just waiting to receive the ball but then you crossed his mind. Your beautiful eyes, your kissable lips and your perfect body. God, he keeps getting distracted by you, all his focus will fade away everytime he thinks of you. He was so mad at you but he badly wants you there right now. To cheer for him at his passion so why were you like this? Why were you doing this to him? Why-

It all happened so fast and the ball went straight to his side and he didn't manage to receive it quick enough. The moment he heard the last whistle blow and the cheers from the other team. He fucking knew he blew it. He was angry and speechless. 'This is all your fault, y/n.' he thought.

You were running so fast to get to the gymnasium in time. You were hoping you would be there from the first set to the last set but you weren't expecting to have a shit ton of customers today in the café, if it wasn't for Rin; your ex and co-worker your boss wouldn't let you go off the hook easily. He knew how badly you wanted to surprise Atsumu today and make up with him because last night was a pure misunderstanding and you were both tired thus you two didn't get to talk it out, all you did was argue.

You definitely felt guilty for making Rin handle all the customers today but not as guilty and sad you feel for Atsumu. Your heart couldn't take it whenever you guys fought, sure you were bratty and stubborn at times but you definitely love Atsumu to even be mad at him for a day.

When you got to the gym, other teams were already playing. 'Oh shoot, I missed it.' you thought. You were about to search for the locker rooms when you got a text message.

'We lost but If you still decide to come. I'm here alone in the locker room.' That's odd, weren't his teammates supposed to be there too? You didn't reply, wanting to surprise him and make him feel better as soon as possible. As you were walking to where he is, you spotted the Inarizaki team leaving the building but atsumu wasn't there so you just shrugged it off and went off to find him.

You were almost at the door when you heard a loud crash inside the locker room. You got worried and opened the door quickly only to find Atsumu standing with his right fist punched on a locker. You hurriedly come up to him and exclaimed.

"Tsum, babe! What's wrong?" Your hands held his right hand to see if he scratched or scraped his hand. Good thing it was just red so you grabbed an ice pack from the cooler and gently aided his hand.

"What if your hand got injured or worse? Babe you know how I get so worried about you." You glanced at him and he was only staring at you with blank eyes although he was still letting you take care of him so you just sighed and initiated a conversation.

"Atsumu, look I wanted to apologize for last night and I'm sorry I missed the match. I actually wanted to surprise you today to make up with you but customers flooded, it's a good thing Rin-" You stood there shocked as he suddenly grabbed your neck and kissed you harshly. You can tell he was very frustrated and angry with you but instead of pushing him off, you just wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him back with so much passion.

His other hand held the your waist and before you know it, you were pushed against the wall with him still kissing you. He then pressed rough kisses on your neck, sucking, licking and biting aggressively onto it. You moaned his name as he finally gets to your sensitive spot.

"Rin this, Rin that. I'll fucking show you who you belong to, you brat." You moaned his name again as he bit you harshly and he loves it; Hearing you moan his name with so much pleasure. He wanted you so much after the game had ended. He was continuously thinking of you and what he would do to you because he had blamed you for losing the game; And now that you are here, his desires will finally be fulfilled.

"Strip. Now." Without hesitation you unzipped your dress and removed your undergarments. You stood there naked before him and saw how his eyes glistened with lust and want. You heard him groaned as he scanned you from head to toe.

Your body was a sight to behold and Atsumu felt his cock hardened just looking at you like this. He immediately took off his top and shorts leaving the boxers on. He held your shoulders and pushed you down to kneel infront of him. "Take my boxers off and suck."

You obliged looking up at him with sexy hooded eyes, you bit the garter and pulled his underwear down with your teeth. His cock sprung up, red, hard and swollen. You internally cussed because of how wet you are right now just looking at his cock. You slowly held the base with your hands and lick the tip with pre-cum on it.

You heard him moan so you continue to move your hands gripping the base tighter as you slid your mouth to his throbbing cock. You sucked him off up and down also humming to give him vibrations however you couldn't take him all since he was just so big so you had to use your hands for support.

He loves the scene before his eyes and how you expertly do this to him everytime. All his stress and frustrations are slowly fading away but it is still not enough. So he grabbed your hair and pushed his cock deep in your throat abruptly making you gag and teary-eyed.

He fucked your mouth relentlessly as you choked on his cock multiple times. "You like that, huh? This big cock fucking your little filthy mouth." He growled as he shoved your head again even deeper. You only whined wanting him to release quickly.

Much to your surprise he stopped and pulled you up to your feet. "Up against the wall. Bend. Ass up. Now." You did what he said and waited for him to put his cock inside you considering you badly wanted to feel him filling you up but instead you were met with a stinging pain on your ass. He had spanked you hard and you are sure it would leave a mark.

"Now what do you want naughty girl?" You gasped as he slapped your ass again. "You, Atsumu. Please. I want you inside of me." He roughly pulled your hair and made you look at him. "But now, tell me y/n, Who do you belong to?" You looked at him with begging eyes and pleaded "You, Atsumu. I belong to y-"

Without warning he pounded into you and you could only scream his name out loud. He was so big you could not adjust in time while he just groans at how tight you are. Your knees are getting weak every thrust and you don't know where to hold anymore since your hands are slipping from the wall. Atsumu noticed this and he held your neck and waist with his hands keeping you still.

"You fucking like this don't you? Like the fucking slut you are." You can only moan louder as a response and you felt the hand on your waist leaving to squeeze and play with your breasts.

"Yes, Y/n you take me in so fucking well. This cunt is mine. You. Are. Mine." He growled in your ear, pinching your nipples as he thrusts in you. You just nodded because he feels so good inside of you that you couldn't even think straight.

"No one could make you feel like this. I could only make you feel like this. Now, cum for me you whore. Cum for me, doll." He felt your pussy get even tighter indicating that you were about to cum and without a doubt you did.

He soon thrusted into you again a few times to meet his release and pulled out shooting his seeds onto your back. You felt so tired though you could not move so Atsumu carried you to the benches and cleaned you up with a wet towel.

"Tsum, I'm really sorry about last night and sorry I couldn't cheer you on." You pouted but he shut you up by placing soft kisses on your lips, cheeks and forehead.

"It's okay babe, I forgive you." He smiled up at you and tenderly caressed you face.

"Hmm, now let me take you out on a date." He laughed and you just rolled your eyes but still agreed as you both dress up. After that you both left the locker room;

Happy and satisfied.

Note: Hi! This was all for funsies, so Idk if it's great but I had fun writing this. Let me know what you all think and maybe I'll start posting more soon hmm👀

Tagging horknee bbys: @bokukiyoom @xanaxdeity @kozumebabie @paripedia @akakeiiji @boomboomjaz @doggonudez

#haikyuu!!#atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu scenarios #miya atsumu smut #Gen's wild brain

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one-abuse-survivor · 3 years ago

Note

look i want your opinion and advice on this;

but i have two friends. that’s it’s. one i’ll call taylor, the other i’ll call penelope. (fake names). i’ve been friends with taylor for 4 years now, since 2017. she was really nice and kind to begin with, but then around 2019 i found out she was engaging and talking about me to some ex-friends about me. how i was stupid for over thinking, that they wanted to kill me or fight me with fists or words. that’s i’m annoying, mean and judgemental. that i don’t try in class therefor they shouldn’t help me. it all just felt so crazy because none of it is true. not only do i get better grades then her, try my ass off in every single subject more then her, but i’ve put so much effort in being nice, kind and sweet. not only that, but she’ll constantly find new friends and only hang out with them. will disappear in lunch’s and recess and i won’t find her so i can’t hang out with her. she isolate me, even in classes we have together. i end up sitting alone, doing my work well i can hear her laughing and giggling with her bf and friends. with penelope it’s the same. i’ve just known her less. i only knew her since the start of this year, but it’s so conflicting as she’s also very much isolating me and ignoring me. if i ask her for advice or help, she’ll answer in one or two words, or just letters like “ooooo.” but when it’s her, i give her a detailed list of advice and comfort which helps her massively (she says it does anyway) and whenever i bring up something bad happening to me, she’ll go and bring up what happened to her bad. it puts all the focus on her. too make matters worse, taylor acts like she’s penelope’s friend, but in reality will talk to her to me, and will be rude, calling her a cheater, stupid, saying how she hates her and tries to get me in with her sending mean anon messages. so i’m stuck going wtf do i do? like neither of them are prefect but i’m so fucking tired when i’m around them at school. i’m dreading going back to school next year because i just know, that not only will i be left out and left to sit in my classes only, usually on a different row or different desk (which no one ends up sitting next to me), and then hiding out in the bathroom on my breaks or in a classroom doing school work because none of them care to ask me if i want to hang or talk. it feels like i’m a nobody but it’s my last school year so idk if i should try anything

i sent the ask with the names penelope and taylor. idk it just feels so isolating and lonely cause i can’t go to them for shit as i never get a good response or they laugh about it. they never try and hang out, i’m always the one starting conversations. i hate it. i just wish they tried

Hey, nonnie. I'm really sorry you're in this situation—Penelope and Taylor sound like really bad friends, if they can be called friends at all, and they remind me a lot of some of the people I befriended in school. I'm glad it's your last year and you won't have to be around them for much longer, but I still hope this new year is treating you a bit better than the last one.

You deserve better than to give your time and energy to people who talk badly about you, who ignore you and who don't put any work into the friendship, nonnie. I know it's hard when you're in school and these people are the only friends you have, but sometimes it's better to be alone than in bad company, especially if you're already spending most of your time in class and during breaks alone because they leave you behind like that, and you already feel alone and isolated.

It's a hard decision, but I'd seriously consider ending the friendship with them, because they're not bringing anything positive into your life and you don't deserve to waste your energy helping them with their problems and starting conversations if they're going to continue to treat you like this.

If the situation gets any worse or if you feel it's seriously affecting your mood or your school life, I'd also consider talking about this with any teachers you trust. When I was in a situation similar to yours, a teacher noticed and asked me if I wanted to be changed to a different group, and I was able to become friends with people in my new class thanks to that. That may be an option for you to consider too :)

Good luck with school! Sending all my support your way ❤️

#Ask #Vent #toxic friendship #Toxic friends #bad friends #taylor and penelope anon

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irskth · 5 years ago

Text

Haechan : Yes I hate you! - Part 1

Description : You and Donghyuck have a weird relationship, he appeared in your life during a stressful time and in a way helped you forget about it, by creating even more chaos as you got to know him better.

Warnings : Kind of a bad boy hyuck but still soft and funny savage ; Angst ; probably going to be suggestive (I don't know where to take this and I'm just going to write it as i go along) ; some fluff expected(?).

not proof read

A/N : It's not my first time writing a Fic but I haven't done it in some years and they have all been crap so let's see how this goes.

- Hell no I am not doing that - you whisper to yourself after reading his text message, somehow leaving you speechless at his audacity.

" No thanks I want sleep " you text him back typing fast as you wanted to go to sleep soon.

" Why not? It'll be fun I promise! " he's persistent and annoying and you know he won't give up dragging you to that party he's been talking about all week.

" btw I'm at your doorstep, come down bish " he texts and you go down just to check and he really is at that damn doorstep.

- I already told you I'm not going - you said, stern look on your face but he just chuckled looking at your pajamas.

- You don't look that threatening with those bunny pants - he said annoying the shit out of you - come onn, you're always in your room never leaving your house, you're so boorinng - his whining face was cute.

- what's wrong with being boring?! -

- idk, being boring I guess? - he answered, ironic tone in his voice - come on, I'll buy you that game you've been talking about, just come this once pleaaasee - he begged, pout in his face.

you couldn't say no to the best game you've been dreaming about "Nier Automata" all you could talk about was playing it one day and hyuck was tired of your conversations being only about that game.

- fine I'll go, but only because of the game! - you said, going to your room to grab a sweater and some pants while hyuck was smilling proudly at your doorstep.

still not happy about the idea of going to a party in the middle of the night you were still happy at the thought of your new game arriving soon, for free.

- what are we doing at this so called party? - you asked, the way to the house where the party was held was quite long and you were going on foot beside hyuck.

- well it's technically not a party - he said a little high pitched sound to his voice.

- so what it is then? - raised eyebrow on your face.

- kinda a sleepover? like just some friends hanging out, I don't even know why you dressed up lol - he said laughing at your fast combination of clothes and attempt at makeup.

- YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A PARTY! - you said, angry tone, still hyuck could only laugh at your angry expressions.

- yeah I know, I wanted to know if you'd still come if I said it was a party - he said low laughing.

- yeah okay, only for my precious game tho - you said still daydreaming about your game.

- man you and your games, could you pay a little more attention to me? - he said pouting while hitting your head.

- Ouch? why would I pay attention to you wtf? we're not even friends lol - you said, savageness in your eyes.

- yeah I hate you lol, idk why we even hang out, don't even know your name clown - you roll your eyes at his nickname.

- yeah lol wtf, you're kidnapping me - you say laughing at the end for how stupid you sound.

- I don't even like that much lol.

- yeah but you don't hang out with anyone else - he responds, tone in his voice deeper than before - you're a loser lol - he laughs it off before taking your hand to arrive at the so called house.

it seemed quiet, no loud music or flashing light so you assumed it was just friends hanging out.

- so like what are we going to do? it's not like I know any of your friends - you said before entering the house.

- relax and just try to get to know people, you might like them - he said reassuring you.

upon entering the house a guy greeted donghyuck and then motioned at you.

- is this your girl? - he said pointing at you, funny look on his face as if mocking you.

- no, actually we just know each other and she was bored so I brought her here.

- liar, I was not bored and I'm only here for the game you promised to buy me. - you said crossing your arms.

- yeah yeah, I know - he laughed it off - so what we doing tonight?

- just some drinking and games, you up for it? - the guy said arriving at the living room.

- you know I'm always up for it jeno - hyuck answered, arm around jeno's shoulder.

we sat down on the floor covered with blankets to make it comfortable and some girls were there already under the influence of alcohol.

- damn you brought all the pretty girls around - hyuck said smiling cheekily at some girls and obviously flirting.

you felt out of place, and he noticed that smiling and introducing you - so like this is Y/N and I don't really know how to explain our relationship cause like, I don't even know her - you rolled your eyes, smiling at the people around you.

- well you could've brought someone prettier - some guy commented, arms around two girls while drinking from a bottle.

hyuck didn't answer and only laughed it off, so you took it as your chance to throw a comment - glad you didn't find me attractive, didn't want to end up as one of those chicks - you said, not amused with the atmosphere you were ready to leave when you hyuck grabbed your arm for you to sit down.

- come on he was just joking right jaemin? apologise to her - hyuck said, as if warning him - yeah whatever - that dude said back? paying more attention to the other girls.

hyuck offered you a drink but you refused - I am not drinking in an unknown person's house -

- come on, just to help you relax, no one's gonna hurt you, at least not physically - he said joking tone in his voice.

- no hyuck, I don't risk my life like that - you still refused and he just took the drink to his lips turning to jeno to ask him something.

the night was going along, you looked at your phone and it was already 4 am, worried you decided to leave but hyuck turned his attention to you for the first time after offering a drink.

- hey where do you think you're going? - he asked clearly drunk.

- to my house, I have one you know? - you answered ready to leave.

- noo come on you haven't played a single game, you're no fuun Y/N - he was clinging to you.

- hyuck get off I have school early tomorrow - you tried to get him off of you but he was to persistent.

- she calls you hyuck bro, just fuck her already what are you even waiting for? - jaemin guy was really getting on your nerves this night.

- sorry I am not interested, besides I don't even know this guy and he is no one to me - you said angry enough for the night.

- she ain't worth it anyways - you heard hyuck said while still on top of you.

you pushed him off and got up going home at a steady pace, angry plastered all over your expressions and you swore to yourself to never hang out with anyone again, especially donghyuck.

- waiit - you heard behind you and someone grabbing your arm

- I am not interested in listening to anything you have to say, i shouldn't have come here and I don't even want that stupid game anymore, why do I even bother hanging out with you?! - you sad angry still walking foward.

- you have no one else to talk to, everyone hates you and your bitch personality - hyuck said and you stopped on your tracks.

you turned around only to meet a drunk donghyuck, cheeks flushed red and eyes almost closed his posture giving away how drunk he was.

you slapped him hard, making a sound through the night that people could clearly hear amidst the silence - you do not know me. - you said calm yet your angry tone was clear you turn away from him and kept going to your house.

as if unbothered by your slap he stood there with a sarcastic smile - actually I do know you miss Y/N - all he said before he also turned away to go back to his friends.

a/n : working on this with enthusiasm, also is this too short or is it okay? please let me know.

part 2

#nct #nct127 #nctu #nctdream #haechan #leehaechan #donghyuck #leedonghyuck #haechanfanfic #haechanangst #haechanfluff #haechansmut #haechanscenario #nctdreamfanfic #nct127fanfic #nctfanfic

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trippz2ill2ace8itout · 5 years ago

Text

⭐🥀TRIGGER WARNING!!

Introducing Last Night At 3AM. I Lost Control. Yet Another Breakdown, I Had about 30 breakdowns. No pity sympathy or attention. && NO I WAS NOT ON DRUGS! I'm over 1 year sober. Alvaro took over (one of my demons/alters) && Dancing Fire (another one) possessed me to the point I almost got a cop call. I don't wanna be a burden &: I wanna save fix care support be there for everyone and everything. I'm sick of being alive. But I can't do anything stupid cuz of me getting concerved to a state institution (which is way different than a mental hospital) cuz I've been in 215 mental hospitals & got diagnosed Critically/Clinically Insane plus over 10+ mental hospitals. All I have is my mom. The breakdowns the vivid flashbacks the mental illnesses getting 10x worse. No treatment will take me cuz I've been to all of them to many times. I can't process anything. My mind imprisons me. I dissociate 89 to 99% of the day. I've been thru every single sorts of treatments/medication I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018. I'm losing my mind. And everyday it's the same thing and people get tired of hearing it.I'm so done with dealing with this everyday. I don't need sympathy. I just don't know man. My mom&& lil brother doesn't want me home, I can't explain what's wrong or going on. I don't wanna be a burden. I'm sorry man. I wanted to self harm again but I didn't. Imagine all my mental illnesses multiplied by 10. Imagine EVERYDAY HAVING VIVID FLASHBACKS AND 22+ Mental Breakdowns a day. I.am sorry if I'm negative. I'm sorry. I just wanna save and fix the world. When people ask me "how are u" idk how much reply. I'm sick of my mind. I feel like darkness is controlling me. I pray A LOT. Alvaro literally possesses me and gets in my body. I have mostly every mental health diagnosis there is. And NO I'M NOT PROUD OF IT I'M NOT BRAGGING OR GLORIFYING It. I just wanna help everyone and everything. Along the my mental health, I have autism, narcolepsy anorexia Etc. My diagnosis list is so long and I don't wanna be known for that. I can't even leave my house. When ever I feel a lil bit better, here comes Alvaro. But again I don't wanna be a burden. It's my job to be there for everyone else NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I can't take this anymore. No pity sympathy or attention. I can't seek help cuz then they'll send me to a institution cuz I've been in to many mental hospitals. I'm doing the best I can. But I'm about to snap. I can't function. And I'm getting worse. I don't want attention I want to be OK. I've dealt with all this hell most of my life. It's hard to explain. On top of that. My physical state is getting worse. I'm finding more reasons to die than to live. I'm over 1 year sober. I'm a huge hypocrite when it comes out taking my own advice. I don't love myself. But i am over caring sensitive and I help obsessively. I repeat myself idk I'm just not OK. I'm losing contact with reality. I'm scared to keep going. But I got this.🥀⭐

🥀⭐Your Enough

Your Worth It.

Your Life Has Purpose

This To Shall Pass

Im here for all y'all in anyway I possibly can.

I'm sorry if I'm annoying. I'm sorry

Stay Strong && Keep Breathing ⭐🥀

🌙🌙🔥🔥🖤🖤🥀🥀HUGE TRIGGER WARNING🥀🥀🖤🖤🔥🔥🌙🌙

🥀🥀🔥🔥Hey my name is Izzy && I'm a recovering drug addict && alcoholic with over 1 year sober. This is the longest I've been sober being out of treatment. I've used mostly every drug there is. Being homeless 13 times. In 215 mental hospitals. In 3 foster homes (2 out of 3 were abusive) group homes, unlocked and locked treatment centers, rehabs shelters, crisis centers. Short and long term treatment centers. Which none will take me back cuz I've been there to many times. I've sold myself && got tortured abused raped drugged up for drugs and money to raise my unbio son, Anthony. I lost custody cuz of false accusations. I've had multiple near death experiences (some were suicide attempts && some were naturally done) my drug of choice was meth. I've had trauma 24/7 from 2001-2018, over 10+ mental illnesses. Some were caused from a few bad trips on PCP that I never came back from. I was sleeping anywhere I could rest my head, I had to be alert at all times. Tbh I havent been to a meeting in awhile. My sponsor is like family to me. I'm redoing all my steps. I'm on step 2. I've lost a shit ton of people to drugs and I was literally getting cop calls everyday. Drugs messed with my life. And having this much clean time is amazing. Most of my life I've gotten abused raped, literally tortured and drugged up. Sold. Prostituted, almost killed. But no pity sympathy or attention pls. Any clean time is good time. And I'm proud of all of you in recovery drug addiction is a special kinda hell. Drugs become your priority and your best friend. I got tortured on the daily by people coming in one by one torturing me from orders from Kimberly (my ex fiance who hung herself in front of me) it was one by one. I got so caught on in drugs that it was the only way I knew. I used to numb the pain. I'm so blessed I found God again. Now I have 22+ mental breakdowns a day every day. I found out it had a lot to do with my drug use.🔥🔥🥀🥀

🥀🖤Thank you for breathing even when u wanted to die. Drugs kill you. There's nothing about it to be proud of its serious. You Matter Yo Important Yo A Someone Yo Enough Yo Worth It Yo Have A Purpose, Yo Have A Story, A Message, A Voice, A Reason, Yo A Warrior, A Soldier, A Survivor, A Fighter. You Are U && NoOne Can Be You, But YOU. Your Life Matters YOU MATTER, Yo Life Has Value &% I'm Glad Your Alive. Thank U For Being Alive. People say that I help everyone and everything obsessively && I don't stop. It's very true. This is a shout out to my unbio son that I raised as my own, Anthony Castillo-Martinez, I met him at one of the many abusive foster homes. Where it was owned illegally by Andrea/Angela && Jimmy Miller. We got tortured daily. They were not licensed foster parents. I met Lil Toni there and I escaped with him to meet up with Kimberly. We lived in a run down hotel in LA. I became homeless again. Toni got me through so much and even tho I can't find him (he's been gone for years) your my lil baby. I will always love u. U are my world and one day I hope to see u again. I hope you have a good home now. Going to school. Just doing well in general. And I'm sorry for you witnessing what Kimberly was doing to me. I love u babes with all my heart. 🖤🥀

🖤🔥🥀I failed Cedar House twice. This was a rehab in San Bernardino, California. I lied my way out. And I regret it. Funny thing is I already read the entire NA Basic Text && The AA Big Book. I have multiple sobriety apps on my phone and I have an app that that has NA && AA Speakers on it. I'm reading the How && Why and I'm so proud of myself && I couldn't have got this far without my sponsor, Jaclyn. She understands me better than any sponsor I've had in recovery. Here's a list of my mental disorders, some were caused Or made worse by drugs and alcohol🥀🔥🖤

🌙🔥🔥Schizo-Affective, Bipolar

ADHD, OLD, ODD,

PTSD, Insomnia

Depression, Anorexia

Anxiety, Autism

Borderline Personality Disorder

Severe Brain Damage

Attachment Disorder

Dissociative Identity Fund..

Multiple Personality Disorder

Narcolepsy, Critically/Clinically Insane🔥🔥🌙

🖤🥀Listen I don't need your pity, sympathy or attention these were all diagnosed by over 5 psychiatrists, and diagnosed "Insane" by over 10 doctors. DO NOT SELF DIAGNOSE!!!! Anyways. I attempted suicide over 100 times. Self harmed in anyway possible. They say I'm the most high maintenance case in the system of California. And the next time I go to a mental hospital I'm getting sent to a state institution. I would do anything to get drugs. Jeremy && Izzie Baraz were my street partners. They both passed away. All I have left in blood family is my mom and brother. My mom. Says if I pick up drugs one more time I'm never aloud back in her house. My dad injected me with meth and heroin at age 9, he also tortured me daily. He passed away in 2011. I'm glad he's dead. But I take full responsibility for my drug and alcohol habits. And I hope I never go back. One Day At A Time.🥀🖤

🔥🥀This To Shall Pass, If Not Today There's Always Tomorrow

God, Grant Me The Serenity

To Accept The Things I Cannot Change

The Courage To Change The Things I Can. &&

The Wisdom To Know The Difference

Amen🥀🔥

🔥🔥Keep Coming Back It Works If You Work It🔥🔥

🔥🔥A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still

Suffers, In And Out Of These Rooms🔥🔥

🔥🔥Staying Clean, Im Never Going Back🔥🔥

🥀🖤I almost relapsed again on New Year's. I almost asked a stranger to buy me Vodka. But God told me to stop.

I'm Always Here 4 All Of You, No matter What.

I'd Do Anything To Keep Y'all Alive && Breathing. To Make U OK. to Save && Fix U && Take Your Pain Away. I Love Y'all. Keep Coming Back.🖤🥀

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skamfairy · 5 years ago

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I want to hear about cleo and willow's relationship!!! You can't just mention them and not tell us how they are doing dhdjej also, I'm the anon that asked about the society and idk if you got my last ask, but i want to hear more about that too

Snsjwkwkwkwkwk OKAY OKAY OKAY So I gotta explain everyone’s personalities because they are all different! Go ahead and tag yourself after reading

Oscar

Oscar is an absolute sweetheart. He sleeps, he eats, he gets super close to you because he needs the comfort and love and he will follow my dad EVERYWHERE. he also lets Cleo kick him out of his bed and he’ll sleep next to her on the floor. He’s pretty clingy but it’s just cos he needs love and attention because he’s getting older and sadder everyday. It’s not a lie that he has a sad soul, there’s something in his eyes that share so much sorrow but he keeps going and he loves people so much. He’s a good baby he’s just so tired he’s had a god damn life you know? He’s for sure a hufflepuff

Cleo

Alright this gorl, bless her god damn heart I love her but she’s so fucking dumb. I’ve never met a more stupid cat. She’s an idiot but she’s a happy idiot you know? She’s got the spirit. SHE LOVES FOOD and she’s super enthusiastic and happy she even let my sister put socks on her. She’s just like sure man do whatever I’m a free spirit. She never thinks of the consequences and doesn’t understand anything but she’s living her life to the fullest and that’s all that matters. She’s a gryffindor. She’s just so happy and optimistic and carefree I love her she’s like a sunshine.

Willow

Okay sup here’s the best one. Willow is the smartest binch in the house. She knows exactly what’s up and how to dodge any activity she don’t want in on. We have to tie her travel cage up because she knows how to unlock it FROM THE INSIDE. She is extremely anxious. She’s been diagnosed with anxiety from the vet. She hates it when I leave her :(( but more than anything she is anxious of the vet hence the survival instinct with the cage. More than anything tho, willow is the most loving angel in the world. She don’t trust many people but when she does it’s like you’re her whole world. She’s so sweet and loving and would never hurt a fly. She is so good at understanding when someone is sad too like she ALWAYS KNOWS and will come and cuddle you which is amazing because cuddles are on HER TERMS. Willow has resting bitch face and looks done with life on the outside but on the inside she’s the most softest angel in the world. She’s a slytherin.

Okay so willow and Cleo’s relationship is complicated because Cleo wants to play with her all the time and willow is like no bitch I want my space leave me alone. They will play but sometimes Cleo doesn’t take willows hint that she’s not in the mood and will go too far and willow will be like bitch leave me alone and then come cry to me about it. (Willow goes all draco on us and is like “wait til my father hears about this” im the father) so yeah you think these siblings just don’t click BUT THEN when it’s sleepy time and Cleo comes to sleep with willow I’ll catch willow GROOMING HER and my heart explodes it’s so cute they basically have a normal sibling dynamic. They love each other but Cleo can be an annoying little sister and willow will be all LEAVE ME ALOOOOOONE MUUUUUUUUUUM. I love them.

My little sister thinks it’s funny because willow is my cat but she thinks she’s more like willow than I am and thinks I’m like Cleo who is her cat. So yeah I’m the happy idiot snwjwkwkwkwkwkw

OKAY THE SOCIETY I’ll put this under the cut cos spoilers

I don’t think I did get your last ask! So let me know what you wanna hear specifically but basically I found it entertaining anajakak I dislike so many characters including Allie whoops (i haven’t been in the tag so i have no idea if this is an unpopular opinion. let me know!) but yeah she just annoys the CRAP out of me it just got worse.

but I like a few like kelly I got super attached to kelly, i really love her idk why. sam and Gareth ofc are the goods and becca too love her and sams friendship. Oh and I like Helena A LOT I think she should be their leader she’s the most adult like I’d let her lead me sure. Maybe I’m saying this cos I’m a lesbian tho asjhasjhjahs

i wish cassandra didn’t die so soon like i was digging her for sure. like she did have this whole perfect thing happening but i wanted to explore her as a character more it would have been interesting if they touched on her flaws and shown that she was still a kid just like everyone else you know she don’t have all the answers. but nope.

i think them making allie the fucking leader just cos her sister died was so dumb like what a stupid idea. like “oh they respect you cos you’re their leader” bitch i would be annoyed, like sure lets make the grieving 16 year old the leader of us. (i forgot her age so this might be wrong) im sorry allie is just asjhsajhasjhas so annoying to me if she’s your fave im sorry and im sure she’s great and i just missed something

oh and yeah i like Elle, i just hate seeing her in pain all the time, save her already.

also her boyfriend and sam’s brother i just. my issue with him is how he is written? i think it’s pretty lame for a show or a movie to just say straight up “oh he’s a psychopath so this is our bad guy” like what?? where is the depth and the story and the characterisation? like okay not to be like this but imagine if he was clearly a horrible human being in the real world and someone else is like !!!! so perfect and respected, but then they go to this crisis world and somehow the situation changes him and he has a whole character development and our BIG BAG is someone we never would have expected who seemed so good and innocent.

idk that just would have been a better story than just creating a shit human being right of the bat in every way possible and even having to tell the audience HE IS EVIL FAM like lol what. so yeah from a nerdy storytelling view, not a fan of the character writing of that guy.

man i love kelly tho, to be fair not sure why cos it’s not like the story focuses on her much but i’m just a fan of these kind of stories, showing how someone changes and she had a lot of change and i support her learning and helping becca and just GIRLS.

im sorry this seems very negative but i actually enjoyed watching the show a lot there was just a lot of annoying characters which i’m sure you’ll feel it can’t just be me. i hope shjashjas

i have no idea what the world is or whats happening pls tell me any theories if you have any!!! i really liked that scene at the end with peter pan that was great. OH ALSO I LIKE THAT GUY the smart guy who was into cassandra and bean!!!

if kelly has to be with a guy i want it to be him defs.

anyway omg im so sorry if my opinions were like sahashjashjahjs frustrating for you let me know what you think!! change my mind sjahjsajh my mind can be changed for sure with this. but yeah i did like it because i was super entertained and i wanna know whats up.

oh and i didn’t mention sam and gareth much but yes love them they are so sweet help

#anon angel #willow

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