#anyways i'm blabbering
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my bf has informed me that Snake wears a corset so i made him this
#if the 2 lines they speak is out of character im sorry i cant do anything about it#“hey mags thats not a corset” shut up it is in my heart#tactical corset#this was made so fast im so sorry#i wish i took more time with this but im v tired so thats it for today#tbh i promised him i'd draw hal tying the corset thing up so imma still do that#with more time and less exhaustion#also heard it's otasune week????? we win!!!#anyways i'm blabbering#metal gear solid#mgs#mgs fanart#sketch#metal gear#solid snake#hal emmerich#otasune#otacon
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one of these days someone needs to make a desi centric oc picrew especially one that is fantasy related
#the poc inclusive picrews are nice don't get me wrong#but i feel like from the outfits to the accessories there could be... more variety? from a desi perspective#three color options for a sari or kurta and a bindi is a start but that is still not the catch all for desi people some people think it is#btw i know that it takes a lot of effort to work on a picrew and i respect that!#picrew artists are amazing without a doubt#at the same time i'm sure i'm not the only desi person who has been going through several poc inclusive picrews#wanting to find the “perfect” one that looks somewhat marginally like me or someone like me#anyways i'm blabbering#non loz thoughts
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— 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐬.
and the smell of camphor dancing in the wind.
✦ info: he didn't know he'd lose you so soon. (come back, please. even if it is just for five more minutes.)
✦ featuring: alhaitham.
✦ warnings: angst, character death (reader), heartache, 1.2k words, somewhat proof-read.
✦ notes: i cried so goddamn hard writing this. why is my first work after hiatus pain. why did i pick up the angst wip. but!! i'm writing again, so that's good. (more notes at the end.)
he didn’t know that it was your last day together.
he didn’t know that the smile you gave him that afternoon, your eyes sparkling like sunlight upon the serene waves of the ocean, would be the last he’d ever see. that the playful light in your gaze would fade so very soon, slipping through his fingers like sand.
he didn’t know that last night would be the last time he held you close while you drifted off to sleep. he didn’t know that today would be the last time he’d wake up with you.
he didn’t think he’d lose you like this.
he didn’t think he wouldn’t be able to save you from that blow.
“please, please,” he begs, both to you and to whatever force that is just barely holding you together. “just stay with me for five more minutes, please. until i can get you somewhere.”
the rain soaks him to the bone, clothes and hair sticking to his skin. your lips stay motionless, eyes shut.
“wake up, please,” he bargains. “you can have all the five minutes of extra sleep you want later, i promise. just—” his vision blurs, and something shines on the ground before it is gone, swallowed by damp earth, lost amidst drops of falling rain.
desperately, he tears off parts of his traveling cloak to staunch the bleeding. deep inside, he knows it is futile. he knows your wound is too great. he knows what lies ahead. but he cannot help but press the cloths to your wound and pray.
please, please tell me it’ll be okay.
please stay with me, beloved. i’ll read you all the books in the world. i’ll sleep in with you everyday, even if we end up whiling away our time.
please. stay. stay with me. i can’t lose you yet.
“— just wake up, beloved.”
by some miracle, your eye flutters. just a bit. just enough to set hope ablaze, just enough for the grip on his heart to loosen a tiny bit. he buries his face in your shoulder, resting his head against your neck, uncaring of the blood that stains his clothes. your blood. on his clothes. his hands. everywhere.
no. no. this can’t be happening.
he feels you strain beneath him, your unwounded arm gently, weakly brushing his back. he jolts upright, eyes trained on your face. you send a frail smile his way. he clasps your face softly as you nuzzle into his palm.
“alhaitham—”
his full name. archons, how long has it been since you called him that?
“— take good care of yourself, okay?” you tell him, chest heaving, your fingertips touching a tear on his cheeks. “i love you. so much.”
those are the last words he hears fall from your lips. he presses a kiss to your forehead, to your eyelids, and to your cheeks and to your lips, over and over and over until he feels your breath slow, hoping they’ll say what he knows he cannot manage to choke out.
i love you.
he stays there next to you for who knows how long, holding you until the rain slows and a faint rainbow smiles in the sky.
until he can’t smell camphor anymore.
—
every person has their curiosities.
they’re just the little traits that set them apart from others, the things that make them tick just a little bit differently, the things that make them, them.
for instance, someone may be obsessed with collecting tiny furniture, while another eats the crusts off their sandwich before actually consuming it. someone may have an affinity for the most niche aspects of linguistics, while another can accurately predict the next raindrop that slides down a window pane.
after all, no two people are exactly alike, are they?
alhaitham knows he’s got his fair share of these curiosities himself. his aversion to soup and all things that resemble it, to name one. and with you, he’d noticed two things.
number one: the scent of camphor that seems to linger on every inch of your person.
he’d caught whiff of it almost immediately the first time you met. you were but one of his juniors in the akademiya, filled with bright-eyed curiosity and anxiety to match. you had tripped over a stair and bumped into his table in the library, bringing the mountain of books in your arms crashing down.
and with subsequent coincidental meetings, he learnt that the subtle scent of camphor dancing in the air meant you weren’t far away.
you were, unfortunately, one of the poor souls who seemed to be cursed with constantly recurring minor illnesses, and almost always walked about with a stuffy nose. and so, you always carried a small disc of camphor in a handkerchief, as well as in your pocket.
you swore up and down, left, right and center that sniffing the vapors helped make breathing easier.
‘it’s my grandmother’s remedy, alhaitham! camphor always works wonders. well, that and eucalyptus oil.”
alhaitham may not know the validity of your claim or the legitimacy of the cure, but he knew to never, ever question a grandmother’s remedy. that, and he’d much rather refrain from starting a back-and-forth about something so small.
and number two: your neverending pleas of different variations of ‘just five more minutes!’
“five more minutes, ‘haitham. please.” you’d whine grumpily when he woke you up to start your day. “let me sleep in for five more minutes.”
“five more minutes, habibi,” you’d ask when he put down the story you’d requested he read out to you before bedtime. “read me the part where she finds the music box?”
“five more minutes, baby,” is what you’d tell him when he asks how much longer you’d take getting ready. “you can’t rush perfection!”
those five more minutes were never five minutes long.
but he’d always, always indulged you and those pleading eyes of yours. as stoic as he appeared to be, you lived in his heart. of course he could never deny you anything under the sun.
—
alhaitham remembers that silly little song you sang over and over, the one you’d learnt from a kid in the bazaar. he’d taken you to see one of nilou’s performances, and, friendly soul that you were, you’d struck up a conversation with some of the eager audience members before the play.
“oh, how i wish i was a bird flying free,
i’d see the world, every mountain and every sea!
oh, how i wish i was a cloud in the sky,
wouldn’t you like to wave to me as i pass by?”
you’d hum that rhyme on every idle afternoon.
loss is inevitable. he knows that, with how logical and rational and straightforward he is. he’d lost his parents, but he was far too young to remember. he’d lost his grandmother, but she passed in her sleep of old age, serene and wise.
but you? he didn’t think you’d leave him this soon. a singular wish sits in his soul, making its home in his bones.
a wish that you’d come back, somehow.
he wishes you gave him five more minutes, just as he always did. but he knows that you could’ve given him five more hours, five more days, five more years and five more decades and it would still not be enough time spent with you.
a blue feathered bird comes to perch on his shoulder, interrupting his musings just as he raises his face to the sky. he sees the heart shaped cloud that floats idly above sumeru city.
he thinks of the rhyme again, and something in him tells him to wave. and so he does. a scent so familiar lingers, faintly brushing his nose in the wind that picks up.
“alhaitham, it's time to go.” kaveh calls his name softly.
alhaitham doesn't move. “five more minutes,” he says, echoing your favorite phrase. “i smell camphor in the breeze.”
✦ extra notes: my alhaitham characterization for this fic stems from how i believe that when alhaitham is attached, he's attached. so i focused more on that, and less of all that rationality and whatnot. this one loves deeply, yk?
that camphor thing is a real grandma remedy in our household (my mom would tie some in a hanky and put some under my pillow and still to this day reminds me to do it when i'm sick) which is what originally sparked the idea for this
when i'd initially started this wip, i didn't expect it go this way. usually i write with my brain, but i think i wrote this one with my fingers working faster than i can think hsjhsj so sorry if it's kinda out of place lmao but yk what? i'm happy with it still even though i feel like it doesn't have my usual quality.
thanks for reading.
#—🖋#・ nouveau livre ˎˊ˗#astronetwrk#genshin x reader#alhaitham x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#alhaitham x you#genshin x you#emotional blabbering ahead in the tags beware#this is hitting me in a place i didn't know existed hjsjs#like. i haven't lost anyone but i have lost my life as i know it?#this past year was full of so many endings and i've been struggling in some way everyday#like i didn't know that the last time i saw my friends would truly be the last time we ever saw each other#i didn't know that i'd be bidding goodbye to my parents as i left home through an airport#ANYWAY ENOUGH DUMPING. ig i'm just telling you to hug the people you love tighter and cherish every moment you spend with them#time goes by really quickly and you don't know where it'll go#ily guys#ew barf feelings </3 /j
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i shan't lie for a few months i've been making an imaginary movie in my mind in no small part inspired by the greek mythology and art classes i'm having But Different my mind filled with rites and rituals and armor and shields that i twist around and fantasy-ize and strip the male gods from and give women weapons and i shan't lie the characters of this Amazons-like warrior city well they awfully look like diana and artemida and petra and stasia (she can stay bald) and [...] under different names and sporting bronze breastplates and painted hopla (plural of hoplon) (the hoplites' shield) and being priestesses [petra's case] [high off her own supply]. they already look dope as fuck why make more
#i would have made an amazon(-like) soldier who's a 155cm brown-eyed black-haired woman with unibrow & mustache anyways it just so happens#i have one in the back already [diana]#puts your characters in the based dimension (all women) then yanks them from your twisted hands (makes something else)#neigh (blabbers)#i'm putting sphynges and harpies in this
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Thinking about how happy joel was for jimmy making it to the finale only for one of his allies to kill him before he reaches top 10. This ones got a little kick!
"This one's got a little kick!" you say as I roll on the ground throwing a tantrum smearing the floor in tears before I spontaneously combust
#THAT WAS SO. WHAT THE FUCK#He was so close to making it to the top 10. Like he said he would. Like Joel wished he would. Grian didn't even know about that lesser oath#But as fate would have it he took that away too. There's no way Joel was very fine with that but I'm gonna try and not make shit up lol#He was very flustered for almost the entirety of that episode and very reasonably so. That happened at least halfway through too#so him not really saying anything more and just kinda sticking with Grian anyway I think makes sense regardless but#hey at least he got to kill him. I guess. Small wins#wild life spoilers#blabber
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🌈 or 🌥️ (or both if you're feeling it)
EHEHE thank you very much for the ask! Gonna mix both prompts and give something soft with my favourite dialogue of this piece (and it's not even a wip actually, this is just a completed bit of writing I have on hand that I'm not really planning on doing anything with) which asks the question I'm pretty sure only I have asked: what if Apollo was the one to tell Heracles that he had to head to the Underworld after he'd lost Hylas during the Argo Expedition (also he consoles him a little).
"It'll never get easier, will it? This life."
Phoebus Apollo doesn't answer him. Before, Heracles would've blamed it on ego, the vanity of the gods who think themselves so much better than the mortals they yank about with their power. Now, Heracles thinks he's just a figment of his imagination, another twisted trick brought on by that bitch of the Heavens. The silence stretches on and on, only the sound of his digging and the quiet rustle of fabric fills the space between them. Were Hylas still here, he'd happily fill this stale air, nattering on and on about herbs or the colour of the fish in the lake, or the beauty of the stars between the treetops. Now, the silence is oppressive. Dense. Like the weight of water pushing all the air from his lungs.
Heracles quickly takes the bundle of Hylas' meagre things and throws it into the hole. Best not to dwell on it. Especially not when an Olympian was right beside him. (Maybe it's a good thing that this illusion is so placid. Gives him space to breathe. To think.)
He spits, picks up the flint. "Can't answer that one either? How about an easier question then," the sparks catch on the edge of Hylas' silk belt, quickly eating up the precious gift. Hylas only got to wear it once when they'd celebrated the night before the Argo set sail. He'd wanted to bring it home for his mother. "Was I also cursed to be alone for the rest of my life? It's not enough that she took my family, she's going to take everyone that treats me well too?"
Phoebus Apollo remains silent, fire turning his body warm gold. Heracles clicks his tongue, anger mounting. First Megara then Pholus and now Hylas. Man, woman, beast, it didn't matter at all, did it? All would die if they loved him. Everything would melt away like ash on his tongue and she would keep him alive just to see him squirm.
"Don't just sit there fiddling with your cloth damn it, answer me!"
Phoebus Apollo looks up then. Eyes so gold they seem to burn their own colour, calm brow, stern lips. This wasn't the playful god who refused to let him take his sister's hind without proving his worth, nor was it the distant prophet outlining the sentence for his crimes. This was someone, something else entirely and Heracles can only swallow his tongue in the face of it.
"Come," he beckons with the slightest tilt of his chin, "sit here." Heracles does. "You ask difficult questions. Ones I have no intention of answering." Slender fingers do not falter in their sewing. Heracles watches all the fine bracelets and rings jostle only slightly as the god makes his stitches. "For that, I must apologise."
Heracles snorts, dismissive and looks out into Hylas' fire, "You lot have never cared to inconvenience me before. What is one more disappointment to add to pile?"
A grim smile dances at the edge of his painted lips, "What, indeed."
"If you aren't here to answer my prayers, then you must have another errand for me." And doesn't that just make his blood boil? Even now, when Hylas' pyre has not yet burnt out, the gods still demand more from him, still drive him harder. He digs his nails into the tooth of the rock they share, hopes it is enough to keep him from laying hands on his divine slave-driver's throat and ripping it right out. "Make it quick. Even you must understand the rules of mourning."
Phoebus Apollo's smile widens. He ties off his thread and cuts the excess length with the side of his fingernail. "On the contrary, I've come bearing a gift." Unfurling the length of cloth reveals a gorgeous chamlys, etchings like constellations dotting its dark length and shimmering even in the firelight. "A gift and a word of warning"
Heracles swallows thickly, such rich cloth would surely need to be hidden from his cousins. "If you think a fancy cloak is enough to gloss everything over -"
A laugh, soft and musical. Lighter than Hylas' chuckles, sweeter even than Megara's hidden giggles. How dangerous. How lovely. "Alcides, be calm. I have nothing to hide and there is nothing you could possibly give to me. You already have my gratitude for not harming my offspring, it would please me greatly if you also accepted my boon."
"The cloth is hexed?" It feels no different from a usual chamlys, maybe just a bit softer. Phoebus Apollo laughs again, richer this time so that it resonates in the very base of Heracles' bones and sends little electric sparks shooting all across his body.
"Indeed. It will keep you hidden from the eyes of the Lord and Lady of the Underworld. Do take it with you when next you set foot in their kingdom."
A terrible chill slithers down his back. Hylas' fire pops. "What's the meaning of this?" And Heracles forgets himself, digs his hands into the lush fabric of the god's chiton and wrests him close, "You think it's funny delivering my funeral gown now? When Hylas' body hasn't even cooled?"
Phoebus Apollo hums, brilliant eyes gazing calmly up at him, "I think it should be a great boon if ever your spirit wishes to wander in the great fields of Asphodel should you make the trip."
#cutting myself off there because like I would genuinely just paste the whole damn thing in there#I love pretty much ALL the dialogue in this piece but like I said I have no idea what to do with it#ginger answers asks#ginger writes#There's like zero market for Apollo/Heracles content cause afaik no one really thinks about them together#which like y'know demonstrably crazy to me considering how close the greeks thought they were#yes this is me acknowledging the alt geminis like Apollo and Heracles and Triptolemus and Iasion#but no to me Apollo and Heracles are the true counterparts#like Apollo and Heracles is what people think Apollo and Achilles is I said what I said#this whole idea of Apollo having heart to hearts with Heracles throughout his labours is one that is very self indulgent#and very comforting to me#anyway TEEHEE THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME BLABBER#definitely much longer than a snippet but I'm justifying it by saying that it was two prompts in one 🤧#apollo#heracles#writing#greek myth writing
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Down the Rabbit Hole pt.4
LOOP CONCLUDED
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3
comic/David playlist
thank u everyone so much for joining me and David on this small trip. Hopefully there will be more to come in the future :D
And again, thank u for encouraging me and supporting me to create something so special about a character that I love so deeply 🥰
#rusty lake#cube escape#dale vandermeer#david eilander#mr rabbit#comic: DTRH#hell was the time loop they were stuck in all this time#he doesnt talk to u#and u cant speak#and ur doomed to repeat the cycle over and over#unable to let go#unable to move on#I love the use of time loops as a psychological concept#are u reading these tags?#I'm just blabbering#theres so much subtext in this that I'm not explaining#have fun figuring it out#anyway hope u enjoyed the comic#thanks for reading#Its all so incredibly loud by glass animals and she wants me dead by CAZZETTE blasting in the background#at the same time
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Don't think about bugs always having a mandatory love interest and how that affects daffy. Don't think about it. Don't think about how one second daffy is spending the night bantering and joking with bugs, eating the dinner he knows is made for him and him only. Reveling in the fact that bugs was expecting, anticipating, if not, then maybe even hoping that daffy will show up and bugs *prepared* a dinner for him. And then the other second having to look at every single piece of merchandise and media pushing this picture perfect relationship of Bugs and Lola. Don't think about how Daffy had to sit through each and every love interest that bugs had. Whether that's honey bunny or Penelope or currently, Lola. How he watched as bugs allegedly, "fell in love" with them, as far as the audience knows. And don't think about how, maybe somewhere in the haze, he started to doubt bugs himself. What if he *did* fall in love and everything daffy sees is just a delusion? What if all they've been through is just that. A circumstance. What if the mandatory love interest is more? More than they ever were?
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Daffy isn't ever going to be some one who bugs is in love with. And that has nothing to do with bugs' feelings, no, it's just how the universe works. They weren't meant to be, not in the official sense.
#hi this is very choppy i promise i can do better hshsh#can you tell i read that one baffy fanfic again#yeah I'm feeling feelings#i actually like blabbering about#maybe i should do it more#anyway enjoy#i guess#bugs bunny#daffy duck#bugs x lola#???#bugs x daffy#baffy#the looney tunes show#looney tunes cartoons#looney tunes#looney toons#ramblings#analysis???#idk man
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Now is the time to place your bets on whether or not this hyper self-indulgent doctor superion Vampire the Masquerade AU fic will or won't get to 100 handwritten pages...
#i'm at page 65. there are about four or five scenes to go before the end.#THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS LONG#especially considering how i stopped work on another longer doctor superion fic to do this#i guess we're in for a strange period of longer jillian and suzanne AUs from me. it even feels weird to say that#i know that 20-30k words isn't exactly long for many people's standards but it is to me. i've written longer original work but not fic#anyway. i get all nervous because i want to share the damn thing and can't so here's a useless post about it#just don't hold your breath because i write these longer stories with a sort of powered by the apocalypse mindset#so instead of play to find out it's write to find out#meaning the first manuscript is a flaming pile of shit which will likely be fully rewritten later. AND THEN typed up.#the novel i wrote a few years ago needed to be rewritten. the first five pages were DOUBLED in the revision i never finished lol#that's to give you an idea#so. yeah. the only thing i'll be posting for the time being is drabbles. maybe some meta in between as i haven't done that in a while#silly blabbering
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"You're kinda weird. You know that right?" "Hah, yes. A dear friend would often say so."
-------------------
Hey the Vana'diel raids are going to kill me.
-> Short context, my ff14 WoL is literally my ff11 character; lore wrangled through the 11 alt timeline of 'failing to beat Promathia' - but the emptyness wiggled a little bit to be The flood of Darkness of the 13th \o/ happening at the same time as the Contrememoria on a different continent, Thus Silvaire [The Warrior of Crystal] becoming an archfiend voidsent who claims San d'Oria as his domain for millennia+ even though the beast doesn't remember why. ((There's literally a 60page document that explains it and more, but also is hyper condensed info/skimming over things cause its too much lore. Been developing this fool since 2003/2004)) -> he eventually goes from side villain foil of the WoL, to actually being part of the team (and earning a WoL title) and post Dawntrail he's just trying to recover some pieces of himself with genuine friendships and a support network.
but yeah. Love Silvaire. Love Prishe. I'm emotionally compromised so fucking much and it's not even november yet.
#mun art#prishe ff11#ff11#ffXI#[no seriously I already lost my mind just seeing Prishe on the art]#[YOU THINK I'M GONNA BE NORMAL??? YOU THINK I'M GONNA BE OKAY ABOUT THIS???]#[I'VE MISSED MY BEST FRIEND. I MISS HER AND I MISS LION AND ZEID TOO]#[AND SELH'TEUS AND- no then i'll just be listing everyone]#[I never though I'd have a cANON REASON FOR SIL TO GET CLOSURE]#[This man's narrative has been in the works since 2003 You don't understand - 14 gave me a reason to give him a good end or at least try to#[anyway take this indulgent sketch doodle sorry for the mess]#[my blabber explaination is included cause otherwise his color pallet change would be confusing]
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Me when I show up to the manipulative competition but my opponent is an empath/j
#I'm a loser baby#thats for the hazbin fans#anyway I saw this trend and had to participate#narcposting#narcissistic personality disorder#npd#actually narcissistic#actually npd#actually cluster b#npd safe#cluster b#cluster b safe#narc#giles blabbers
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Polaris, the Northern Star, Queen of the Celestials
Since she won my OC poll, here's the face reveal of Polaris! (I should have figured she would win, lol. I've been meaning to draw her anyway.) Er, face reveal in the sense that celestials can change form, but you know what I mean.
Finally, the infamous mother of Loke and (former) Celestial Queen from HTRYDS gets an image to her name. I had a lot of fun designing her and it was nice to finally go all the way. And to throw in those easter eggs and tiny clues :)
#htryds#fairy tail#polaris#oc#my ocs#loke's mom ahoy#well she raised him anyway but it counts#I've had too much fun with this family#I can't blabber too much because spoilers but dang they are a mess and I enjoy myself#less so polaris she's very sweet#that is why she is most certainly dead#rip loke's mom#anyway a few little design elements I am positive nobody will noticed but#some are more obvious I think?#anyways 10 points to whoever can recognize the sword :)#i'm confident that one is guessable#I now have the urge to doodle polaris trapping loke in a hug with the power of ARMS#fun fact I almost gave her six but cut it to four because compass rose#and because six arms was hard to draw :(
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Thoughts on Morty curling up next to Rick and Rick leaning his head on Morty when they thought they gonna die in Solaricks (Season 6 episode 1)
I LIVE FOR THAT !!
When they're physically affectionate with their hugs I just jdnwjdhsjdh
The fact that they're 100% okay with dying together, CUDDLING-- Call me sensitive, but I wanted to sob, they mean so much to me<33
(Probably not as much as they mean to each other, though)
I wish we saw 'em like that more often
#rick and morty#boni blabbers#answerin' asks#I'm trying not to yap for a million years and make three paragraphs#but I COULD#I want to see them napping casually like that#Morty walking into Rick's room at night saying he can't sleep#and Rick using this as an excuse to cuddle and sleep#pretending it means nothing to him (he's sobbing inside)#I know he's fourteen#but he's still like that#I mean... I was#He'd go to Rick first though#I think so anyways#Aaand I ended up yapping in the tags anyways#Oh well
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can i just be emotional on main for a sec & thank y'all again for sticking with me & supporting my weird little brand here these last few months while i've been like. worse than ever about getting any writing done? just like. hhh. all of u putting up with my shitposts & liking the hcs and whatever else i shove out onto the dash while i'm struggling with energy for replies, and everyone who still wants to plot & develop our dynamics despite me being the WORST at keeping up with dms (& being somehow even worse at being the one to actually initiate dms), and!!!! those of you who continue to indulge me by sending me asks despite the fact that you've been waiting 5 years for me to reply to our thread!!! i appreciate u guys sm, like i don't think u actually understand just how much. i mean this so sincerely: thank you
#writing & chatting with u guys and just shoving our characters together is one of the few things in my life rn that still brings me joy#so it's been really infuriating to be having such a hard time doing it#and that fear of people losing interest or getting bored or annoyed w me because of that struggle doesn't exactly help#it's something i'm working to overcome bc i KNOW those of u who matter are the ones who'll continue to stick around but ajshkfds#idk i've been wading through the existential dread these last few days trying to avoid succumbing to it again & dumb little rp things are#part of what help keep me going. so just like. yeah. thank u sm ;A;#a special shoutout to my newer mutuals too for joining me at a weird time & still sticking around to engage w me despite my slowness#i'm v excited about all of the new dynamics we're building or will eventually build ;u; ♡#anyway. i'll shut up now. sorry for all the blabbering i'm just emotional today and wanted to express my gratitude to all of u ♡♡♡#wanna try to write at some point today but idk if it'll happen or not. we'll see ;~;#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.
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it may just be me being in my head but like...I feel like my writing has been shit as of late. idk, it could just be my stupid mind playing tricks on me or whatever but yeah. idk. : X
#idk if i need to take a short break (like I would anyways as stubborn as i am lmaooo)#think it's because i'm in a midst of a really groggy burn out (mostly from work + lack of motivation)#idk idk just blabbering rn#booop#ilyyy <3
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got the tldr of the vid that I'm Not Watching All That & somewhat amusing how the straw breaking the camel's back for people over James Somerton is his blatant and unashamed plagiarism (as it should be genuinely i don't think you can nor should recover from this) like he hasn't regurgitated for years vile, unempathetic, ahistorical and Purely Just Wrong information about gay history including about the fight for legal same-sex marriage in the US and the AIDS crisis. like an alarming amount of people truly heard his ass say "all the good fun funky artistic and radical gays died of aids and all those who were left were unfun stuck-up prudes and conservatives also the fight for legal same-sex marriage was an assimilationist ploy by the latter who just wanted big gay weddings" as if the gay men who survived the epidemic didn't literally lose lovers and friends and entire communities and long-term partners who they shared a life with and who were denied any crumb of this previous life at their death because there was no legal recognition for same-sex cohabitation and unions and their homophobic family could tear everything from the surviving partner thanks to this lack of recognition and let it slide.
some people out there were truly so eager to shit on the boring assimilationist prude gays who survived aids by being stuck-up prudes and who just wanted "big gay weddings" they made up in their minds to get mad at that they turned their brains off and let it slide. they could've used their smoothed-out brains for ONE minute & found out that surviving took 1) plain boring luck and 2) radical, loud, proud gay activists campaigning for safe/safer sex and the information campaigns they led, as well as the protests and demonstrations they undertook to make the government fucking care for once. and that legally-recognized unions [be they civil or religious] were a matter of survival for the partner left behind. some people out there truly let a business major with a turtleneck (possibly the definition of boring) passing himself off as cool and radical and an intellectual tell them homophobic bullshit. and did not blink. like OF COURSE this guy's gonna be a plagiarist. he needs to get his information from SOMEWHERE. because when he tries to formulate his own stuff it's complete fabrications or the frankensteining of multiple sources that he manages to misunderstand/misrepresent threefold over. trying to fit a knit sock over the foot with the inside out and wonder why that itches.
i know many people in his audience are likely very young and also likely american and as such did most of their growing up in a world where their country (1 out of 195. give or take.) had legalized gay marriage but i cannot even begin to describe 1) how Young legalized gay wedding is, even in ""the west"" and 2) how many. other countries there are. my country legalized same-sex marriage before the US did. i am not even 25 and i still remember the hordes of catholics marching down the streets chanting homophobic slogans, implying the only reason two mommies or two daddies would want to raise a child together is for nefarious, vile purposes. i still remember families having to drag their asses into court to argue that, yes, a woman who raised a child for its whole life with another woman she's in a long-term committed cohabitated relationship with should have the right to be considered a direct guardian even if she's not biologically related to the child, and spending thousands of bucks having to argue their case in court. this might be shocking to some, but there are countries where homosexuality is punishable by death. in others, not by death, but by imprisonment. in others, not by imprisonment, but by ""medical intervention"". in others, not by ""medical intervention" but by fines. and in some others still, you can be gay (yay!) but you still cannot get married or civil-unioned, and the very same shit that was discussed in the 80s is still discussed now. the right to stay a guardian of your partner's child if your partner dies or is ill, so the kid does not go into foster care. the right to inherit your partner's property according to married rights instead of having through long annoying time- and money-consuming legal processes. the right to arrange your partner's funeral or have a say in their medical choices if they're incapacitated instead of their (potentially homophobic) families.
like We Are Not There Yet. we are not in a world where any homosexual can truly, fully, wholeheartedly assimilate, whether you consider it a good thing or not. fun gay artists and boring uninteresting gay office workers die the same death that we all do. the one you don't wake from. and guess what. all types of homosexuals, regardless of which ones you pick and choose to be mad at, are affected by homophobic legislation. not just the ones you think should be spared because they're oh so fun. and oh so radical.
donate to the rainbow railroad org if you can. they help LGBT+ people escape state-sponsored violence. a singular nail on one of their members' hand does more activism and real-life good than any mfer making video essays could do in his entire life.
#also were the two gay male writers who died of AIDS who's shit you stole of the ''fun artistic gays'' or the boring ones? you seem to like#their stuff enough to steal. you want their talent their eloquence and their presence; which is missed; sooo bad you look stupit!#also gay people have always gotten married. privately; clandestinely; in secret; in shame often.#gay people have had commitment ceremonies for as long as we've had partners.#like even if some of us did want ''big gay weddings''. by all means cope and seethe that no one wants your hand in marriage#and to dedicate their lives to you as you do to them publicly; to the world's face. but that's a skill issue.#not making this shit rebloggable i'm just complaining about the guy. have disliked him for a while for this ^ & also his fabrication of#how Radclyffe Hall's trial actually went. like you can literally wikipedia this shit.#unrelated me and my dad have this joke where when i feel like my academic life is not too great/i maybe should have done something else#i go ''well i might have gone to the Unemployment Factory; but at least i'm not a Business Student [shocked face] [retching face]''#and my dad hysterically laughs. all of the worst people he's ever met had been business students once.#anyways. allmother mother of all great priestess of dishing out Ls to the deserving#thank you for having taken this man down in such a glorious colossal blaze. CHEH!#neigh (blabbers)
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