ashryder

[ashryder]

Ash had a few closing shifts that week, picking up shifts from the missing or people afraid to go missing at night, and Joni insisted she had a new trick to teach Dawn. Probably better that she's over with her, it would feel bad for the dog to be alone most nights. Though perhaps if she was here with him now at the door she would've warned him on the intruder inside. The exhaustion was settling heavily into his bones, finishing his last shift before a day off so he wasn't the sharpest minds when he unlocked his apartment door. A split second of hesitation as he spots a figure sitting in the dark, alarm bells ringing and in a singular moment he instinctively had his pocket knife armed in a stance and the lights flicked on. But the readiness to fight the intruder deflated when the familiar warmth yet chilling voice filled the room. Hardened gaze ready to hunt softened back, almost akin to the boy that man once found him before.

"..Dio? I-- Sir," words barely left before correcting himself, but he wasn't technically his superior, or family, anymore, was he? Ashton hesitantly lowered his weapon, still wary of his presence in what should be a safe space of his own. All those years Ashton could never figure out whether Dio's presence was safe or unsafe. To have him and the EAA out of his life for the last five years had been.. terrifyingly liberating to say the least. So at this point even lowered to his side, his grip on his knife was still dead tight. "Why are you here?" Dio didn't like to waste time, Ashton knew that, they weren't allowed to waste his time.

It's hard to remind himself he was no longer his soldier, his specialist anymore, not when that presence crept back in unwarranted. Yet he stood in place by the door, body almost unwilling to go at ease until it's been commanded so. "I doubt you're here to just check on me. It's been years, I can't see my existence being any part of your problems anymore." Honestly, thank fuck Dawn was with Joni. He didn't want to imagine her attacking this intruder and suffering the painful consequences.

located : ash's place ・ @ashryder

Dio is not a man that makes house calls.

For this reason, when he does, the impact hits harder, and that's the consequence of self-control and strategy. It had come to his attention, recently, that a young man who'd once been on his radar has taken up a mantle with the militia. While the militia is, as of right now, still no more than a fleeting nuisance to Dio, this particular fact is an opportunity, a seed to plant and nurture for the future, would they become more than a passing irritant.

And so he finds himself seated in a dark house, in an armchair, waiting for Ashton to come home from his work at Hell's Gate—another very peculiar association.

When the door opens and the light flicks on, Dio doesn't move, simply fixing the younger man with a polite smile. "Hello, Mr. Ryder. How nice to finally see you again after all these years."

[ashryder]

Laughter bellowed up into the night sky from a tight embrace and Ash soaked in the sheer warmth and joy that honestly.. feels so rare in life. The opposite seem to just be the heavy constant in Ashton's life, he'd lie if his last exchange with Lindsay didn't weigh on his mind every now and then. Beau had been that one glow of sun that Ash couldn't help but gravitate to. The little gnawing doubt of wanting Beau to fully step into this whole militia thing, or anything Ashton's involved in really, misery seemed to like to keep him company all his life, he's tried really hard to not drag Beau down with him. Would it taint and drain this pureness of a soul, that's right here right now, so incredibly happy to live and love? Suddenly he was less sure about the idea Beau last brought up to him as they similarly hung out here.

That all happened in a flash of a millisecond of overthinking, mentally shoving it away the moment they pulled back and Ash found himself back in that basking jubilation, grinning from ear to ear. "And you're askin' me? A single man who hasn't been married or planned a wedding before either?" Ash raised an eyebrow pausing a second to think out loud, leaning into the joke, "..have I even been to a wedding before?" Maybe once or twice, they've always been, like parties, been a lot. He laughed and shook his head to brush the jest aside and be absolutely serious, "of course I'll help. I'm at your disposal, anything you need me to do, I'm here for you." Was that a tall promise of anything? Perhaps. But this was his best friend, and anything might even be an understatement of what he'd do for Beau. "It's your wedding, you two should decide how you want it to be, and we'll make it happen."

He took a moment to admire the ring, angling it left and right, shimmering by the moonlight to really look at the craftsmanship when Beau explained who made it, "woah, that's insane, I need to get more honey in my diet if that's his secret," Ash chuckled, letting go of Beau's hand to quietly let him ramble onto the story time. A cheeky grin growing as he leaned sideways onto the chair to keep facing his best friend while reaching back for his drink, as if sipping all the tea he was spilling. "-oh, to my grave," he only interrupted once to reassure secret safe with him, no mama was going to get insulted.

He sat in a quiet excitement letting Beau share the moment with him, Ash couldn't help the coo of an aw, the sickeningly sweet proposal story almost reminded him of the way his parents would talk about theirs, and a warmth bubbled through his chest. "That's literally the most romantic proposal I've ever heard," wasn't even an exaggeration, granted he hasn't heard many but he was here to be his hype man. Ashton lets out a sentimental though exaggerated sigh in a joke, "damn, you two kinda make me want to believe in love again."

It was easy to tell when the waterworks were building up with Beau, though today's reason was much better than the last time in a hospital bed, Ashton reached over to give Beau's shoulder a reassure squeeze as the sentiment settles into genuine statement, blues holding onto blues to meet Beau's gaze, "and you deserve that happiness, every shred of it and nothing less. And Zig too, you both do. Don't forgot that." Ash wonders if this changes Beau's mind on the militia, if it keeps them safe, it didn't seem like a bad idea at all to stay away. Not a conversation for now anyways. "So get used to it, you got a whole married life ahead of you, that happiness is gonna last a lifetime." He leans back again, clinking his drink to Beau's before finishing it, "do you two have a date picked yet?"

if there was one person beau clary knew would react to the news with the same joy and enthusiasm that he had, it's his best friend. the second the drinks are safely set aside, ashton throws his arms around beau and the farmer, to his credit, returns the embrace with just as much vigor ― if not more! there's a warmth blooming in his chest bright enough to rival the sun and for a few seconds, it's all he can do to hold onto ashton and savor in a moment of shared happiness.

❝ yes, really! ❞ beau gushes as he finally pulls back enough to get a glimpse at the blond's face. ❝ i know, it took us long enough. ❞ a joke, really ― they may have been together for quite some time now without making any moves to tie the knot, but that didn't mean they weren't dedicated. after all, it wasn't but a couple of months after they started seeing each other that beau asked ziggy to move out to the farm with him. and they've been inseparable ever since.

❝ i ain't never planned no weddin' before, ash, you gotta help me out. i'm sure dixie's got all sorts of ideas already, but she's gonna need a hand gettin' it all together. ❞

beau is glad to release the embrace if only so he can show off the ring, offering his hand easily when ash pulls it toward him. ❝ ain't it nice? tadhg made it! i tell you what, there ain't nothin' that man cain't do. ❞ blue eyes lift toward ash again at the stream of questions, ones he's more than happy to provide an answer to.

❝ i came home after workin' at the market all day and they shooed me upstairs for a shower, and when i come back down, they done whipped up a whole dang meal for the two of us ― ribs, cornbread, all my favorites. and if it weren't the best supper i ever had in my life, i don't know what is ― just don't go tellin' my mama that. ❞ beau offers ashton a conspiratorial grin at that, as if he's sharing some big secret between the two of them. goodness gracious, these drinks are strong.

❝ anyway, then we had dessert out on the porch. the pecan pie they made, it was just to die for, ash! and then the next thing i know, there they are, kneelin' right in front of me and holdin' out this gorgeous box and sayin' all these sweet things about how they wanna love me forever. ❞ beau can feel himself getting teary-eyed as he speaks, a rush of joy at the memory making him emotional. ❝ i don't think i ever been this happy before, ash, not in my entire life. ❞

[ashryder]

Javi might've brushed it off but he doesn't know that the dog is more stubborn than her owner. The fact that the military dog wouldn't even obey any other soldier once Ashton left and was given early retirement says a lot about who she was willing to trust. There were only a few handfuls of people Ashton would feel comfortable leaving Dawn with; Beau and Ziggy, people at the Tatum farm especially Joni, the Muñozs and O'Hallorans alongside the longstanding militia members that Dawn has gotten comfortable with for years. And for everyone else, oftentimes the nerves would be for the person rather than the dog. A old sweetheart in her soul but will kill or maim someone if she feels threatened.

"..was not," you could probably see Ash sulk a little if you squinted. Javi bluntly basically telling him it was his own doing of the consequences, which he isn't /wrong, it's just hard to hear again sometimes, as if Lindsay hasn't scolded and given a piece of his mind to Ash enough. Still, he stood by his choices. Did it really matter if he died as long as it was for some kind of good? It's hard to leave that notion behind when it's the one consistent thing you were taught. "To be fair a dose of adrenaline and a high pain tolerance kinda skews with my perception of 'okay', so fine, that's on me." He's accepted he fucked up, surprised Lindsay didn't kick him out of his position. But would he do it again looking back at the people he potentially saved? The answer is always thousand percent yes.

Ashton was worried for the tension in that family right now, there was nothing any of them could do about it, any intervention seemed almost disrespectful to sticking their nose into it, Ashton certainly felt cautious of stepping on toes again, he's done what he could, checked in on all three parties involved, still working closely with Dante to keep things running at the militia, that was all Ash could do. It was a family issue that only they could resolve, the rest of them could only do what they can to keep things going while they needed their time. He could only sigh and sag his shoulders after a shrug, "I hope so, Maisie was avoiding a lot of us as well. Not sure... what else we can do but.. wait. Is that shitty of us to do nothing?" What's happened has happened though and hopefully as Javi says, it'll blow over, but somehow something was always lurking by recently, one bad thing after another.

Ashton had just finally felt at a hundred percent again to pay Javi back this meal he owed, and suddenly a new problem seemed to be brought up. "Really? I don't think I was on shift that day then.." Ash certainly would've heard that chatter creep up onto their floor and to the bar if any form of whispered chatters were happening, externally from customers and internally from staff. They didn't work on the same floor so it wasn't as easy to notice on a daily basis. "I dunno, O'Briens have done disappearing acts before so.." always with reason for sure, "but Ximena, have you tried reaching her on her phone?"

A noise of acknowledgement was all that Javi made to confirm that he'd heard Ashton's words, his eyes on the menu as if he hadn't been to the diner enough times to have memorized his favorite picks. He still doesn't believe it was that big of a thing, no matter what Ash said about it. Dawn would've been plenty happy to settle around just about anyone as long as she had food, water, and a place to sleep.

"I asked you if you were alright," Javier points out bluntly. "You were the one acting all superman impervious and shit. Assumed that meant you were alright. Can't read your damn mind." It had just been something about the way Ash had leaned against the wall as if he couldn't quite trust staying on his feet much longer, the way he brushed off any possibility of slowing down. Just like the rest of his damn siblings, Ash was stubborn as all get out. "You were gunna do what you wanted no matter what I said, anyway. Don't put it on me."

As he goes on to change the subject, it's not hard for Javi to place what Ash is likely referring to. Lindsay had made a whole thing about their home not being used as a Silver Lining clubhouse - in layman's terms, or whatever - Maisie had gone off on their own, and last Javier had heard, Santiago was staying over at Mami's. He didn't really know the ins and outs of much of what was going on in the Muñoz - O'Halloran family home, but it was certainly something. "Yeah, I don't really know. I'm sure it's bound to blow over sooner or later..." But then again, beyond all that, something else seemed to be going on. "You hear Bairre didn't show at Hell's Gate the other day? Seems weird for an O'Brien...and I thought Ximena might be workin' today but, haven't seen her either...Something doesn't feel right, you know?"

[ashryder]

"Aw really? I feel special now," he joked but blues soften in a shared smile, knowing that as a good friend she actually meant it, and the feeling is mutual. It's a bad habit of pushing or brushing away good things given to him, but with friends that he knows truly cares, he tries to accept them with his heart full rather than dread of feeling that he can't. In all honesty perhaps it was just nice to know the reason for having to come back here with clothes worse for wear wouldn't be judged here, and it brings in work for them so all the better. "But what if people actually find the ripped shirt in public attractive?" Ash joins her chuckle with a jested huff, Lorelei knows it wasn't anything but banter with the way he is, not actually looking to put himself out there. The weight on him feels lighter with a laugh, even if just for the moment.

Ash quietened down at the mention of everything, the memory of those early days honestly seared in his mind, murmuring with hesitance, having not really talked to anyone about it, "it's rough, I can still remember the screams," maybe even more so because he knew what pain they felt. The corner of his lips quirked back up hoping to flash a reassuring smile instead, "but you know me, I'll always hang on, can't get rid of me that easily." It was the same thing he says to brush things off. "Scratches maybe no, but the burns did a number, I'll hafta ask Jonah to redo my tattoo," Ash sighed almost in a grumble, it had been a significant one, the only one he gotten after leaving the force. It was the least of his worries, considering the life threatening situations, but being in a better place allowed him the privilege to sulk about the superficial things.

Settling into his seat, letting Lorelei begin her magic, Ash sat back to watch while his hands fiddled with the hems of his own shirt, "it's the anxiety of.. what's next, really." Somehow there was a sinking feeling, something was always by the corner, as if the swarm was just nature's pre-warning, like how animals used to run before a tsunami, thinking too much about it gets Ashton too in his head, "how's Damien doing at the diner?" He could see and feel the worry off of Lorelei even here, he understood it, that certain anxiety of not really knowing your loved ones are 100% okay until they're by your side. But life keeps going, and the work continues. Ash makes a note to head to the diner soon to just drop by and say hi even if it's just to get coffee. "What if it's all a red herring? Can't judge a book by their cover," Ash mused sinking further into the seat, "maybe it was the protagonist all this time," he glanced a knowing look to her, "but what do I know? I don't read novels. You'll hafta tell me what happens."

THE LAST THING LORELEI has expected was for things to come to this. for people feeling the need to worry for their lives -- run for the hills. worry for her husband's safety was all consuming, knowing she would cling to his arm every second these days if she could. she's never been the type, not until now. " for you? always. " lorelei smiles gently. work has been a particularly pleasant distraction from her presently hyperactive mind. eyes examine the gash in the fabric for the source, which is usually far smaller in size before blossoming outward, akin to a flower in all of its glory. " it's quite alright, these things happen. just glad you caught it before wearing them any longer in public. " she chuckles. then again, most people in town could likely benefit from a laugh -- but certainly not at another person's expense.

yeah. her heart tenses a bit, as it always does as the thought of people she holds dear being caught in the chaos. she wouldn't expect anything else from the militia, quite frankly, in the center of it all -- making every attempt they could, to get everyone out. some called them bleeding hearts. lorelei instead opted to call them selfless. " i can't even imagine.. those people... the pain they endured... " she whispers. lorelei had heard of the injuries that some has sustained, the jackals president taking quite the nasty brunt of it in order to protect one of their members. lorelei wasn't a jackal in patch, but considering her marriage, she was around them quite frequently. " i'm glad you're as okay as you can be... and made it out without a ton of scratches. "

it was true -- every day they could be thankful for breathing, every day she woke up to the sound of air escaping her lungs before the repetitive inhale would come like clockwork. " it's horrible... truly. those families... we're truly lucky to have our own, but it haunts me. i can barely let damien out of my sight these days. " of course, damien and lorelei had opened the doors of the diner to anyone who needed a place to escape and a good plate of food -- but even then, she believed there was still more she could do to help. she just didn't know where to start. " oh, just an old mystery novel. some of them are nearly carbon copy, aren't they? the butler or the wife always did it. if they want to make it interesting, the way it was the mistress. nothing to write home about -- just something to hold my attention. "

[ashryder]

Ashton pulls himself out of his thoughts as Connie sits down with him, "huh? Ximena?" pausing once he hears the news, the mood sags into a dread, perhaps it was a worry hanging over their head of who's next and hoping it wasn't more people they knew, it felt second nature to be constantly texting and checking in with people he knew. He softened his gaze to Connie, while they were both professionally lieutenants, they were still close as friends, any Muñoz to be honest, probably held a soft spot in Ash's heart. He held his tongue from the instinct to say I'm sorry. That wasn't productive, but he hoped his blues said it as much while he asked, "..when did you last see her?"

Before he could reply, the short interruption from Jamila was well needed to reset the sinking feeling of spiraling into the worst case scenario of what might've happened. He quietly murmured a thanks with a grateful smile, he helps Connie pour out the coffee into her cup and refills his when Jamila leaves them be, thinking out loud, "can't catch a break, can we? It certainly doesn't discriminate, it's crazy to even think some of these speculations could hold water. Collective hallucination maybe..?" Ash exhales before turning back to things they can definitively work on rather than baseless speculation, "Ethan's missing too, from my unit. Hasn't responded to our check ins. Think they could've been linked?"

CONNIE HAD FELT SOMETHING was incoming for longer than she cared to admit, always looking over her shoulder -- when a breeze grazed her shoulder the wrong way, the like. and yet, no one could have anticipated this. people all over town were going missing, even some of their own. thus, connie knew she would rest until they had some kind of answers, not that she ever truly rested regardless. and then, her cousin had gone missing -- and her blood had run cold. she goes to work, comes home, and picks up where her personal investigation last left off -- making sure nora's things were accounted for, that she was accounted for, before inevitably crashing when her body decided it was done. ximena was out there, alone.

she feels like a zombie as she sits down, still wiping the bleary feeling from her eyes as she tries to make sense of where she even is. coffee. she needs coffee. maybe that will heal her, bring her back down to earth. " my cousin is missing. " she answers, having made several attempts to forget her panic and return to the soldier she had once been. mechanical and onto the next task. " this... this can't be the work in person. some kind of mass.. kidnapping -- but every single faction is involved. everyone is losing somebody. " connie offers a thankful nod as a familiar waitress places a coffee cup and a pot down in front of her -- jamila. a staunch supporter of the silver lining's work, and a close friend of her brother's. thought y'all might be here a while... let me know if i can get some food started for ya. connie nods. " thank you. " once she vacates, off to take care of her other tables -- connie's eyes return to ash. " as if the bugs weren't enough. "

[ashryder]

He glanced up to give Kodi a polite greeting smile before turning his gaze back down to the map, crossing out a section they've recently searched. "I wouldn't say they're leads rather than blind theories." A lead constitutes plausible proof and reason to pull at the thread. Most that he's heard were wild speculation. "I'm sure you've heard more than I have over the radio," Ash chuckled, gesturing for her to sit down if she'd like, could always use another person to talk through things. "No one calling in with an actual good tip?" Ashton would've assumed by now someone has to have seen or heard something, and yet, no one has seen anything, not even close to the missing perhaps leaving town. They all seem to vanish without a trace or witness. As if people disappeared in the dead of the night when no one was looking. "It's just weird, that there have been zero witnesses to anything happening."

He paused when the question was turned to him, lightly sighing before running a hand through his hair, frustration pulling at the roots, "one of my people is missing, Ethan. He didn't respond to the last check in we had." Beck had been the first one to notice and messaged Ashton and so when he immediately called for head count of his unit in the militia, one was really missing. "They all seem to just disappear in the same way as a lot of people. Definitely by something that's indiscriminate." Blues flickered up with concern as he asked, "and you? No one missing from your end, right? Feels like you guys are working around the clock to take in calls at the radio station."

It wasn't every day that a notable amount of people go missing. Sure, of course there are instances of people going missing randomly here and there - ever heard of a missing persons poster? But the quantities of people being reported missing as of late is far and above usual standards. Granted, anything above zero people missing should be considered unusual, but - alas. They lived in a wild fucking world.

WDER has been hearing all sorts of reports and theories and Kodi is absolutely living for it. Who doesn't love a good whodunnit? But this whole situation is rather strange seeing as they can't seem to pin down any rhyme or reason. A couple Jackals from the dairy farm - maybe someone is really pissed off about dairy prices. But then there were obscure ones, like those from mothman worship and the EAA without seemingly any connections to anything in particular. Certainly not with one another. And the list went on and on.

Maybe some greasy diner food would make all the difference in sorting out this growing puzzle. They were waiting for their food absently when they spotted Ash hunched over a map at one of the nearby booths. They didn't hesitate to poke their nose in his business. "Have you heard of any leads?" Kodi asked, head tipping curiously. "I mean, I've heard a lot of thoughts and theories, but not sure about leads, per se. Seems like a real mixed bag. You missin' someone?"

[ashryder]

PQR

Headcanon A-Z ask meme

P - Philosopher - Are they particularly philosophic? What do they believe is the purpose of life? Do they have any particularly strong convictions or ideologies?

Ashton particularly only really delves into the philosophy from a scientific astronomical point of view, space philosophy to him, is fascinating to deep dive into the purpose of the life they have from the disarray of the way the universe succeeded in creating life. Not a higher power or god or what not, but the beautiful random collision of science. The universe has no obligations to make sense to you, sometimes, it just is. Sometimes there just isn't any meaning to it, through what they have left to live, they'll have to find meaning themselves from a seemingly meaningless existence on a floating marble in a large blank space.

Q - Queen - What kind of leader are they? Are they entitled? What have they inherited from their parents? How powerful are they? Do they act superior towards others?

Ash is a fairly diplomatic leader, he values his unit's input on things before making a final decision. Perhaps if you're Monty, you could try and dig into the inferiority complex somewhere in there in observing the way he leads people. Having failed a team once was enough to let him continue with caution and overthinking and second guessing certain decisions. But if you put him in a pressure cooker and push comes to shove in emergencies, Ashton will let his instincts take over and lead his unit well. Perhaps it's a mix of his father's strong hand in leadership as once a First Lieutenant and his mother's compassion that softens him a lot of the times.

R - Rebel - Do they follow rules, bend or break them? Do they find rebelliousness in others attractive?

Answered here.

[ashryder]

A - S - H - T - O - N - R - Y - D - E - ....r... Have fun!

Headcanon A-Z ask meme ican'tbelievehisnamebarelyrepeatsomg

A - Advocate - How do they show their support for others? Are there any causes that they publicly support? Why?

Ash shows his support in quiet ways, through actions rather than words, acts of service in whatever way he can. He's been taught that words are empty until proven. So if he's trying to support someone, it'll come in forms of helping them in a task, bringing them food and water, making whatever they're trying to achieve easier. And even in more emotional support ways, a hug, a squeeze of a shoulder, a handhold, he'd rather physically be with someone, even if no words are said, sit in silence with them, because to him, to be able to physically hold onto to something and anchor down while emotionally and mentally you're stuck in a hurricane, means more than anything.

S - Seeker - How do they go in search of new information? Do they accept ideas on faith or do they need to test out information for themselves?

Depending on the type of information. Hard information of science, history, Ash would dig through texts and test out hypotheses to much sure the information is sound. Soft information relating to people however, was usually through softer skills and means. That's not to say he isn't above using pain and intimidation. Ideas on faith aren't usually in his realm of things that mattered much to him but he will make sure information he and holds at least some water before it gets passed down the chain of command.

H - Hero - What makes someone a hero in their eyes? Who is their biggest hero in life? Why? Do they consider themselves to be heroic?

Someone that looks at the big picture, and contribute to better their world and people's lives, it's a pretty low bar sure, but the biggest heroes he knows in his life were his parents. He only knew them for too short of a time but growing older and understanding what they've done behind the scenes had been nothing but admirable, standing up for people, protecting them from what they think is wrong. He didn't understand when he was younger, but now he knows why they kept him away from the military, told him to never tell people of his mutation, why mom went around teaching kids in their homes rather than just go teach at the school, why they worked in the shadows and in small but impactful ways. They were everything Ashton hopes to be one day. He's not there yet, but with everything now in his life, he feels closer to that.

T - Teacher - How often do they have to teach others? How do they go about it? How do they learn best? Do they dive in first and reflect later or study the theory of something new before putting it into practice?

Ashton tries to follow in his mother's footsteps in homeschooling the kids in their neighborhood. He can't do it as often as she did as her entire job, but he does his best to supplement their education, and give parents the tools to do it themselves. In other aspects, Ashton is always more than happy to teach and pass on knowledge, from combat and survival skills, to space and behind the bar. Perhaps it's the educator blood in him from his mom, learning from the best. He will always study the theory and foundations and then test it out practically, sometimes it could be a simple 5 minutes to work through in his brain before he does something but he'll always need that time. He is a visual learner himself, needing to write and sketch things out to see it, once he wrote over his wall as a thought came to a problem while brushing his teeth and he needed to see it to know if he's got it, there's still a corner in his bathroom scribbled with equations and sketches, a victory while celebrated alone (and calling Beau thereafter to gloat even if he understood none of it), was one he wanted to leave there a remember.

O - Organiser - How organised are they? Do they have any unusual organisation systems? What would cause them to be uncharacteristically (dis-)organised?

Ashton is usually incredibly organized. Nothing unconventional, but coming from the military it was kind of nurtured into him, the structure and organisation, it was an indication of being in control of a situation, making sure he has peripheral of everything and every possibility of an outcome for a problem, things are solved by him through organised resolutions, plan A to Z understood and prepared for. But the one way to throw Ashton off everything is once he feels like he's lost control of a situation, or gets too in his head with overthinking or something puts him back in a trauma inducing scenario, he pulls out of himself, body's way of protecting from pain, organisation gets thrown out the window when he's clawing to get a grip back of his control and life.

N - Navigator - What’s their sense of direction like? Do they have a set path in life that they’re planning on following? What do they do if they’re knocked off course?

Like.. physical or metaphorical directions? Both of those things vastly defer for Ash. He has a great sense for physical and spacial direction, remembering a path once he's been on it just once, a great scout, reconnaissance and sniper specialist back in the EAA, now using his scouting skills in the militia. Metaphorically? He's been completely directionless. He once had a path forced upon him that he followed through, but mostly because he had nothing else left in his life, like every orphan (manufactured or not) that they pick up, this was all they had left, he didn't know what else to do but follow that direction, as if it was a comfort in life. Now that he willingly tossed that direction away, it was fucking scary, not having a direction at all, not being told what to do with your life, Ashton is still trying to navigate that himself, desperately clinging onto the things given to him, the militia, a cause to fight for, a bar to tend, children to teach. It's haphazard and all over the place without a single North Star in sight to focus his life's compass on. But it was enough for now, at least he isn't staying rooted in place, that would be more terrifying, moving in directions he isn't sure in was better than not moving at all.

R - Rebel - Do they follow rules, bend or break them? Do they find rebelliousness in others attractive?

If there’s only one thing Ashton is good at is following rules imposed onto him, it’s been unfortunately conditioned with pain otherwise and it’s just a habit at this point. Though if he finds a rule extremely stupid he’s now better at voicing his opinions, to know that his voice matters here. He’s more focused on changing the rule rather than breaking it. He does find rebelliousness attractive, perhaps that’s something more regarding envy and longing, he always had to fall in line, so if not him, his attraction gravitates to people that don’t have to fall in line.

Y - Yes! - Do they believe in luck? What makes them feel lucky/grateful?

No! Not really at least, Ash doesn’t really put a lot of stock in luck, but he is grateful for all the good things and people in his life. More often than not he feels more cursed than blessed in a lot of aspects - love, family, money, health, but in other aspects in life that brings fulfilling warmth, friends, companionships, stability, purpose. However it made its way to him, whether he deserved it or not, he isn’t sure, but what he can control is to do his best in holding on tight to these good things in life.

D - Director - How much do they feel the need to have control over their life? Do they spend a lot of time telling others what to do or and they more likely to be more obedient to others?

Ashton prefers to have control over their life, losing control oftentimes feels like that means someone else if controlling you. And he just.. absolutely can't live like that again. Even if he's following orders he wants it to be by his own free will. He's done a lot of both, having led and been led in various missions and situations, butt he overall prefers to follow orders, if he was to equate it to an example of power ranking, Ashton thrives best in a second in command role, he wields a strong ability to lead others but best under the order of someone above him that he trusts and values him. Any other way on each end of the spectrum Ashton actually crumbles with hairline cracks.

E - Entrepreneur - How do they make money? Are they willing to take financial risks? How do they approach making deals with others?

Ashton is pretty risk adverse, not taking it unless its been calculated and unless he absolutely has too. Such as gambling, after losing once to Dara, Ashton sworn off gambling with money ever again. He grew up comfortable, living with enough on the outskirts of town, and in the EAA, a lot was provided to them, food, shelter, water living necessities, Ashton saved a good chunk of money from there but coming out into Burnington and having to survive alone? It made Ash have to rethink and learn financial responsibility in very painful ways, rent, food, electricity, dog supplies. Because he left the army with nothing much left to his name than the credits in his account and the physical belongings he had. His superiors at the militia offered to help but once he at least got a place to stay, he wanted to make sure he had his own income to survive, not willing to burden anyone. The O'briens were a familiar name fro Caelan, and that's where he turned to. He's now in a place where he's paid back his debt to his superiors and live a simple life with not a lot, but it has always been enough.

[ashryder]

😓 [ash]

Send an icon and I’ll respond with my muse’s reaction to… 😓- Their most embarrassing/regrettable moment

"Guh, don't remind me of it, I was super sleep deprived okay? Back in the academy, we were doing tactical training and someone swapped my training gun out for a water gun, and I did not notice until well into the exercise. Our warrant officer thought I was being funny during training and I had enough punishment for it." Ash sighed, choosing to ignore the latter mention of regrettable moment, that one seemed too deep and dark a hole to fall back into.

[ashryder]

💥- Their favorite thing being destroyed/discontinued/cancelled

Send an icon and I’ll respond with my muse’s reaction to… 💥- Their favorite thing being destroyed/discontinued/cancelled

"I still can't believe they cancelled Pluto, of all planets, from our solar system, no one even remembers it at this point. Did you know I found a super ancient science book once that still had nine planets? That seemed better than what's taught. Justice for poor Pluto."

[ashryder]

🍼

Send an icon and I’ll respond with my muse’s reaction to… 🍼 - Being asked “Where do babies come from?”

"Well, it's pretty natural, most mammals go through it to procreate, originally it's simply meant as a way to keep a species going, but over time, emotions kind of joined in the mix of the decision, when.." Ash continues with the answer without missing a beat in the most deadpan way your science teacher would've explained it. Most of the rest of it is kinda boring unless you're into the biology of it all.

[ashryder]

😆

Send an icon and I’ll respond with my muse’s reaction to… 😆- Getting pranked

"Wh-- Oh.. -ha.. very funny," Ashton perhaps wouldn't even notice you're pranking him until you spell it out. Unless he was already in a joking sarcastic mood, Ashton would take more things seriously. In pranks that don't come as a shock, he takes a bit more amusement in it. He's actually not a fun of surprises, often reacting poorly to pranks that take an instantly surprising nature, reflexes quick to dodge, and panic spiking up from just the instinctual nature to fight and defend. He once almost broke someone's hand for playing a prank throwing snow down the back of his shirt, enough said, he's been trying to be better about his reactions to things like that over the years, softening the initial hit of adrenaline for survival. He's doing better though.

[ashryder]

Headcanon A-Z

A - Advocate - How do they show their support for others? Are there any causes that they publicly support? Why? B - Boy/Girl - What is their gender? What’s their relationship with their gender? Has this changed over time? How does their gender identify relate to their gender expression? C - Caregiver - How do they give/receive care best? Do they care for everyone or just a small number of people? How do they react to someone in need? D - Director - How much do they feel the need to have control over their life? Do they spend a lot of time telling others what to do or and they more likely to be more obedient to others? E - Entrepreneur - How do they make money? Are they willing to take financial risks? How do they approach making deals with others? F - Friend - What kind of friend are they? How do they judge potential friends? Where do they draw the line between platonic and romantic relationships? How far would they go for a friend? How do they handle conflict in relationships? G - Growing - How have they changed over time? How has their self-image changed? Are they more or less of a risk-taker? Has their approach to romance changed? H - Hero - What makes someone a hero in their eyes? Who is their biggest hero in life? Why? Do they consider themselves to be heroic? I - Inventor - How creative is their thinking? Do they seek out the opinions of others or rely on their own ideas? What’s their problem solving approach? J - Joker - What’s their sense of humour like? Do they enjoy slapstick comedy? What kind of humour do they enjoy in others? K - Know It All - Are they a Know-it-All? Do they actively seek out new knowledge? How do they behave around others how have a great amount of knowledge on a topic? L - Lover - How do they show love? Do they love themselves? Do they believe that all you need is love? M - Miracle Worker - Who or what do they consider to be a miracle? Do they believe in magic? N - Navigator - What’s their sense of direction like? Do they have a set path in life that they’re planning on following? What do they do if they’re knocked off course? O - Organiser - How organised are they? Do they have any unusual organisation systems? What would cause them to be uncharacteristically (dis-)organised? P - Philosopher - Are they particularly philosophic? What do they believe is the purpose of life? Do they have any particularly strong convictions or ideologies? Q - Queen - What kind of leader are they? Are they entitled? What have they inherited from their parents? How powerful are they? Do they act superior towards others? R - Rebel - Do they follow rules, bend or break them? Do they find rebelliousness in others attractive? S - Seeker - How do they go in search of new information? Do they accept ideas on faith or do they need to test out information for themselves? T - Teacher - How often do they have to teach others? How do they go about it? How do they learn best? Do they dive in first and reflect later or study the theory of something new before putting it into practice? U - Ugly - What traits to they find unattractive in others? Do they have any of those traits themselves? V - Visionary - Do they have a plan for their future? How imaginative or creative are they? Do they have vivid dreams? W - Witness - What do they consider the best thing they have ever seen? What would they most like to see in their life? X - Xceptional - Who is the most exceptional person in their life? Are there any rules that they have notable exceptions to? What gets them excited in life? Y - Yes! - Do they believe in luck? What makes them feel lucky/grateful? Z - Zoo - What’s the favourite animal? Do they ever behave animalistically? If they were an animal, what animal would they be? Why?

[ashryder]

int. hell's gate rooftop - night. @fvithlcss (sloane)

If there was one quiet place that exists at Hell's Gate that wasn't only after the place closes or before it opens, it was the rooftop, where the cool night air breezes through and washes off the whiff of alcohol, smoke, must, lust, and money. It was the place to get fresh air but also away from people and while Ash would've preferred to take his breaks alone, he wasn't opposed to company. Including the familiar footsteps that joined him that night on their clashing break time. "Beat up anyone good today?" Ash mused without turning around as he leaned on the railing with a whiskey glass in hand, looking out to the quaint stars in the sky and a city below slowly falling into slumber, though slightly tensed, scared, wondering who's next when they wake up.

"It's been awhile since I've been covering any fighters in the ring myself, I'm getting restless," he joked before properly turning to greet Sloane, inviting her to join him with a wave. Sure it came down to partially just only fully recovering from the swarm but also usually keeping him for just in case of emergency break glass replacement fighter to still guarantee some earnings. His tone softened to the question he wanted ask surely in a forefront of most peoples minds, "anyone from your end at the Jackals go missing?"

[ashryder]

int. hell's gate - late night after closing. @insainted (feary)

"Hey Feary, we're done closing up the floor," Ash had grabbed his things after final checks on closing for the night as he catches Feary sitting by one of the tables in the now empty Gluttony floor. Two months in after the swarm, Ashton had been glad to be back on regular shift schedules for awhile now, it felt off to not be on the closing shifts he usually was on in a week. But the normalcy didn't last long when the week had been rife with people going missing day by day, talks and whispers of it rampant throughout the night at the bar, it's all anyone can really talk about recently.

He placed the keys down on the table coming up close to his boss as curiosity piqued at what Feary was looking through right now, hearing along the grapevine of even a Shamrock going missing. "Everything okay? I was hearing from the bar of more people going missing today." There had been so much wild speculation of who's the culprit, at some point aliens might ridiculously be the most believable answer seeing how the missing seem to come from every corner around.

[ashryder]

He noticed the way she turns back around on her ex, guess there was more there than he had assumed lingering. He doesn't pursue any more information unless she wanted to talk to him about it, always happy to be a listening ear but it was her choice to make. His opinion didn't matter unless she wants it to. Instead he offered a light shrug, saying without words that he had nothing to disagree with her, not knowing her ex well enough to comment, but a relationship that ended her capacity to date didn't sound like a great end, though he didn't want his worst case scenarios thoughts souring what she might still have that's salvageable.

"You can say that again," Ash scoffed in agreement, no matter how hard Beau tries to set him up, he wasn't sure if he wouldn't just be a disappointment. Relationships just never took a forefront after less than a handful back in his EAA days, they somehow never really ended well. What that says more about him, he doesn't really know or want to confront, but it seemed easier to stay away from dating altogether. But on the other side of that.. "Love, though," Ash added on with a happier tone, "love sounds nice to have." The joys of love and relationships around him were proof enough sometimes it's worth it, even if some were going through.. a rough patch right now.

But right here right now, food sounds better than love. "Great, it's no problem at all. I got some a couple of stuff, eggs, vegetables, pasta, we could whip something quick," his bag was placed on his lap as he dug through to confirm the said ingredients, he wasn't a chef per se, but survived long enough by himself simply doing the essentials. One day he'll learn more recipes from his mother's notebook. "We can have a proper meal and you can tell me all the fun gossip running around the motel recently."

"he's not all bad." it's strange, the way she immediately feels her hackles raise, the way she immediately feels the need to jump to archie's defense. because it's fine when she says it, but hearing someone else do it, that's not quite acceptable. she still refuses to acknowledge what that really is, what the knee jerk reaction says about her, says about that relationship that is dead but can't seem to die. instead, she just laughs a little, awkward and forced, and waves a hand like she hadn't said anything at all.

"anyway, dating is too stressful, anyway. one of those things where you have to worry about looking nice and being funny and charming. i'd rather just do away with the whole thing." because she doesn't exactly think she's got the funny and charming thing down, because she's not sure she's going to ever feel comfortable in a relationship again, afraid that lies or incomplete truths will tear it all apart again.

a sigh leaves her, but she nods. "yeah, i have a kitchen upstairs in my live in. you can come up, but it's probably a mess up there. i don't have guests often."

[ashryder]

It was weird not hearing back from Ethan after a unit check in, Beck was the first person Ashton texted and checked with to make sure it wasn't a worst case scenario of his sibling joining the growing concerning list of missing. Everyday that passed though made that reality seem more and more real. They've been looking at every possible angle and today after work was just another day of waking up and trying again. Ashton drove over to the farm this time, with Dawn in tow, at the least for her to play with her friend again, at best, they could potentially pick up a scent and track a lead. But it was also more of a visit on his friend to see how he's doing and dig a little deeper on information.

As soon as he parked his car Beck and Banjo had been coming up to greet them already, wishing he had a better answer for the first question asked. "We've searched a few areas but nothing yet," Ash flashed a pressed smile though brows furrowed in the frustration they all felt. "Just wanted to check in on you, and maybe get more information," last seens, conversations they had, anything that could point them in the right direction rather than search aimlessly. He bent down to greet Banjo with a scratch behind his ears murmuring a hey there boy greeting to the young dog. Ash continued to talk, as he stood back up and walked around to the passenger door, a head already popping up to the window as Dawn peeked out to see her friend, "'course I did, she'd never forgive me if I came here without her," Ash chuckled as he opened the door for Dawn to hop out, looking up to Ash for the signaled permission before she trotted over to Beck and then to Banjo. "Also.. she's got a good nose on her, trained all her life, so she might be able to lend a hand," Ash hesitated as he slowly added, not wanted to give Beck too much hope but also wanting to try to do what they can. As the dogs began playing, Ashton turned his attention back to Beck, "how are you? And the family? Are y'all holding up alright?"

Starter For: @ashryder Location: Tatum Dairy Farm

It'd been days, and stil nothing. Every time Beck heard a vehicle approaching, his ears perked up. This one belonged to Ash Ryder, he knew, and whatever glimmer of hope had come with the sound of the engine immediately faded away. He placed aside the rake in his hands as Ash brought his vehicle to a stop in front of the barn. "You bringing good news?" he asked, but he could already tell from Ash's face that it wasn't the case. No such thing as good news lately. Least that was how it felt. "Or is this a social visit?" At Dorian's arrivel, Banjo, Beck's Australian Cattle Dog, perked up too, wagging his tail and approaching to greet the man he associated with snacks and playtime. "D'you at least bring the dog?" Beck sighed. "Look at him. He's lookin' for his buddy."