#anyways i’m so happy to have gotten that fic out of my brain. feels good man

[celestial-toys]

crawls out of my writing cave on all fours, disheveled and holding a twenty-four-thousand-word-long document between my teeth

[base0h]

Hiiii. So this is my first time requesting or anything so I’m kinda really nervous??? Anyways, I love your crack fics, I literally giggle non stop and they bring light into my soul.

So, that being said, I have a request. Could you do something with Crocodile and Ace (and whichever other characters) reacting to their s/o having a spider or some type of scary bug on their back? Idk if your can go anywhere with this but hey, it’s worth a shot.

Okay that’s it bye bye have a good day :)))

a/n - omg I’m so glad I can bring light into your life 😭🫶 literally my goal when I’m writing this stuff 💜 oml bro crocodile is afraid of bugs I just know he is 💀 that’s why he had robin, so she could handle them for him

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, crack, crocodile would leave you with the the bug just to run as far away as possible 💀🫶

- pls if he sees a single bug in his house he’d move out of his mansion and go to another sea of ocean 💀

- don’t get me wrong he takes you with him of course and makes sure you’re protected from those heinous insects. Get ready for loads of bug spray and pest killing chemicals, because your house is going to smell like that for at least a couple weeks 😃🫶

- so one day, you’re relaxing on the sofa, listening to some ambient music, the lights a bit dimmed, with the shutters open just enough for some light to shine through without being too harsh. It was a weekend, so it was due time for some relaxation!

- crocodile had just gotten finished with his work, and finally he’d get to spend some quality time with you. As he walked over, getting ready to join you on the couch, he froze.

- his eyes were locked onto your back, his breathing completely stopped, his body stiff as a board

- a tiny black speck on your back was… moving. Could that be a- SPIDER? You turned around because you heard footsteps, and you looked confused to see crocodile just- frozen, with wide, disgusted, fearful eyes as if you just committed some heinous crime against humanity

- “….Crocodile? You ok?”

- …

- “Hello???? Earth to crocodile?”

- “Y/n. You know I love you right?“

- “…What?”

- “Then you know why I must do this.”

- “What do you me- hey where’re you going?!”

- to go bag (he has one prepared for this exact situation bruh 💀) materializes out of thin air, then cue crocodile skedaddling out the door without explaining or warning you like a scared selfish asshole

- “CROCODILE IT’S NOT EVEN THE SIZE OF MY FINGERNAIL.”

- “IT’S AN INSECT Y/N.”

- “SO YOU’D LEAVE ME WITH THE FUCKING BUG SO YOU COULD GET AWAY FIRST-? 😭”

- “..well of course I would’ve sent someone back for you-“

- “SENT SOMEONE?!”

- see now ace is afraid of bugs too. But he’s not a selfish asshole like crocodile 💀 bro would at least try and protect you while screaming and sobbing

- you two were relaxing, snuggling together and watching the sun set on the deck of the Moby dick. It always never failed to amaze you with how many colors spread across the sky.

- ace absolutely adored these moments with you. It made him feel so- alive but also dead at the same time. Because how could one be this happy and in love with you?

- he looked down at you, and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head, and that’s when he saw… it

- cue the scream of a demon plus a kid who just saw a clown

- “WTF ACE WHAT?!”

- “BABE- DO NOT MOVE. THERE’S A BIGASS BUG ON YOUR HEAD.”

- “EXCUSE ME?!”

- ace grabbed his shoe in a panic, and aimed directly at your head. But since he was so afraid, he was closing his eyes.. as he was swinging to kill the bug.. and he ended up slapping the absolute shit out of you instead of the bug

- “Phew, think I got it- Y/N?! WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OK?!”

- “WDYM AM I OK YOU SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF ME-“

- “Sorry.. OH SHIT I MISSED-“

- “NONONONO ACE WAIT-“

- you got hit five times before he actually got it. 💀🫶 I hope your brain isn’t damaged 😭

- luffy was one of those kids who collected beetles and watched them fight each other like it was the most intense battle he’s ever seen 💀

- so of course he’s not afraid of them. Bro likes them so much that he doesn’t know if the one piece is better or if beetles are better 😭

- luffy was rambling to you about the various different types of beetles, and which ones were the strongest in fights. He was giving you the WHOLE lowdown, their stats, weaknesses, special skills, traits, etc. 💀 you were surprised luffy had this level of knowledge on- anything really

- “Yeah so the atlas beetle can DEFINITELY take down the rhino beetle because of its really tough shell and- OH MY GOD-“

- “Huh-?! What’s wrong?!”

- “OMG OMG Y/N YOU HAVE AN ATLAS BEETLE ON YOUR HEAD!”

- “Luffy you better be joking. Is it even April yet?”

- “Nono it’s right here see?”

- he pulled it off your head and put it in front of your face. The way you froze, and the way your heart stopped, dropped down to your feet, and then climbed back up 😭

- you couldn’t even scream, you just got up and hauled ass away from whatever that abomination of a creature was

- “Y/n where are you going?! I have to show you how it fights!”

- “I’M PERFECTLY FINE NOT SEEING THAT LUFFY-“

- “But y/n they really like you! You’ve got a rhino beetle on your back too!”

- “WHAT?!”

- you legit stopped, dropped, and rolled 💀💀💀 poor robin was watching the whole thing transpire from really far away so she couldn’t hear the context of what the hell was happening 😭

a/n - bro I missed writing these. I’m a bit rusty tho 😂

[mumms-the-word]

Some general reactions to Veilguard so far! Under the cut in case of spoilers <3

So far I’ve gotten Neve, Harding, Bellara, and Lucanis and I am so enamored with each one of them. Jae (my rook) is basically co-parenting baby Harding and Bellara with Neve (which is funny because iirc everyone is basically 30-35 out of this group). Lucanis just got here and Jae does NOT know what to think of him

I, however, love him

The scenery is GORGEOUS. I’ve spent hours exploring Arlathan Forest just getting a bunch of side content done. It’s so eerie and beautiful at the same time to me

I’m also obsessed with looking at all the details in the Lighthouse. The DAI callbacks, the codexes, it’s all so good

I’ve played two solas memories and OH MY GOD FELASSAN. I fell in love with him in The Masked Empire and I flipped out when I saw him on screen. My brain is already trying to trick me into writing Felassan fic lmaooo

I have a few grumbles as well. Varric’s narration transitions feel…odd to me, like I’m missing a frame sorry that explains why he knows everything enough to play Lord Foreshadow with everything. The random villain POV cutscene felt juvenile. I literally was like “they did this in Kingdom Hearts too” lmao which may not be a compliment (though it worked there). Some of the dialogue is mid, but other conversations are lovely and even heartbreaking. So it’s a mix.

Overall so far the game feels a little too glittery but I’m also getting used to it. I had a moment while exploring the Underwater Prison where Lucanis is, where I was like “we are the furthest thing from Dragon Age Origins now, like, wow, Alistair would flip out if he knew mages and ancient elves could make underwater prisons like this” but I mean…different times, different products and all that

There’s nothing that makes me absolutely hate this game, as of yet. I’m disappointed about some things, but other things make me really happy! And honestly, that’s what I expected. I had a day or two where I was sad about stuff that I knew I wouldn’t get to see or hear (mostly Morrigan not acknowledging my warden, who romanced her, or her son, but also a few other things) but once I felt my feelings about it I could jump back in with fresh eyes and see what else I could discover

There are more callbacks to the older games, novels, comics, and short stories than people say. They’re just subtle. But I’ve kept my eye out, I’ve been taking some pictures, and I plan to have a few posts in the works about lore, if that interests anyone!

Anyway that’s it for now. Just got Lucanis, and now I’m back on the side quest grind. Updates soon!

[ghostxrose]

𝑶𝒏𝒆 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑨𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑨𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 | 𝑩𝒂𝒌𝒖𝒈𝒐 𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒌𝒊 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five (final)

Note ~ Happy holidays, Lovelies! I'm sorry that it has taken a few days for me to post the final part, I've been busy with work and adulting, haha! Anyway, I hope that you all are excited for this finale to this fic and love it as much as I do! It will be the shortest part yet at barely 900 words but in my opinion it came out so adorable, though I am biased, haha! Well, enough with my rambling, enjoy the read My Wonderful Lovelies! <3

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!Reader, Reincarnation, Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Emotional, Temporary Character Deaths, Depictions of Injuries, Potentially Triggering Content, No Use of Y/N, Hurts So Good (let me know if I should tag anything else <3)

You were nervously playing with the end of your long dark braided hair as you walked up to the door of the classroom. You still couldn’t believe that you had gotten into U.A., let alone the Hero Course. You smoothed over your uniform then slid the door to Class 1-A open.

Your eyes swept over the few students already in the classroom then you looked up at the board for the seating chart. When you looked back to the sea of desks and located where yours was, you saw a tall blue-haired boy sternly lecturing an ash-blonde boy sitting at the desk behind yours.

You quietly made your way over to your desk and slid into the seat, making the blue-haired boy halt his lecture towards the blonde behind you. You turned in your seat to face them and gave them a shy smile when you saw that both were staring at you.

The blue-haired boy was staring at you in what seemed to be recognition but you weren’t quite sure since you had no idea who he was. But the ash-blonde boy was glaring at you intently and you couldn’t figure out what you had done wrong.

“Hi, I’m..” You introduced yourself shyly, your violet eyes darting between the two nervously.

The blue-haired boy gave an.. enthusiastic.. greeting while the blonde just made some sort of dismissive noise and turned his head to look out the window. You felt a pang of something hit you in the chest briefly before turning around to face the front of the classroom again.

After the teacher had come in and introduced himself, he had your class change into P.E. uniforms and then meet out on a baseball field. You listened as he explained what you would be doing and what the purpose of the test was before he called up a student to demonstrate one of the exercises.

“Bakugo..” Was all you heard your teacher say before your ears tuned out the rest.

You watched the crimson-eyed ash-blonde walk up to the teacher and grab the ball before moving to the pitching mound. It was like everything happened in slow motion as you watched Bakugo wind up his arm and throw the ball.

Not even the explosion from the boy’s hand could pull you out of the daze that you had apparently gone into. Your eyes met his as he walked back to stand with the rest of your classmates and you found something so familiar within all of the crimson.

You went through the series of Quirk tests completely absent from reality. It’s like you were on autopilot and out of your body until you heard Aizawa Sensei’s words dismissing your class. The other girls from your class had picked up on your strange behavior and tried to make sure that you were feeling okay. They wore worried looks on their faces as you all changed in the locker room and made your way back to the classroom.

By the end of the day, you had still felt like you weren’t back in your body. Or rather, you felt like something was missing, maybe? You couldn’t pinpoint what was going on, you just knew that you had felt off.

As you walked towards the school gates to leave, you spotted a familiar head of ash-blonde hair. You moved faster to catch up to him, unsure of why your brain thought that he would have any answers as to what was wrong with you.

“Bakugo, hey, wait a sec-” You called out as you reached for his hand.

As soon as your skin made contact with his it was like a movie started playing on fast-forward in front of your eyes, right in your mind. Flashes of different worlds, and different realities, different settings filled your vision and made you feel unsteady on your feet. Along with the flashes came feelings; unthinkable heartbreak, overwhelming joy, unimaginable physical and emotional pain, peace.

Finally, your vision cleared and you felt tears dripping down your face. You looked up at Bakugo and saw his wide shiny eyes and almost unreadable face. You felt his warm hand gripping yours almost too tightly.

Suddenly, Katsuki’s arms were wrapped tightly around you and you automatically reciprocated the action.

“My Love.” You murmured into his shoulder.

“My Violet.” His raspy voice whispered into the crook of your neck.

…

…

…

Every lifetime after that one began like that; forgetting your past lives, finding each other, remembering, then living out your lives until you died of old age.

You always passed away peacefully and always in each others’ arms.

And every time, the Goddess of Fate smiled with pride for the both of you.

You and him would never know it but the Goddess of Fate had never laughed at your shortcomings, had never found joy in taking you away from each other so early within your past lives.

The Goddess of Fate had just done what she does best; tied your souls to each other, put you through as many trials as you needed to prove your compatibility, then gave you both the peace you deserved.

You and him were never star-crossed lovers tied together as a joke, you were always meant to be true soulmates.

You and he were always meant to be Eternal Lovers...

One life after another, forevermore.

Author's Note ~ And we have reached the end of this fic *wipes tears* I loved writing this fic so much. The amount of emotion that I poured into this fic is something that I have trouble with doing again now. It was a special kind of inspiration that I had felt when writing this fic and I crave to have it back to be honest.

Even though they won't compare to how this fic turned out, let me know if I should post my other fics here! I would love to get some tips or comments about what I could do better! I don't want to be a one hit wonder, you know? I want to share my works and have them be good enough for people to really enjoy. So, please let me know what you think!

I love and appreciate every single one of you, Lovelies! <3

Tag List ~ @damnirina @queenpiranhadon

Divider Credit ~ @archonfurina

[phantomrose96]

The Art of Keeping Secrets

(Back at it with writing fic for a show I've seen like 3 episodes of. I saw this comic by @cadenzarose and my brain took things in a very different direction. 1.3k words. Enjoy!)

----------------

Marinette has two secrets.

The first comes as naturally as breathing. She’s coddled it long enough, held it close enough to her heart so that it’s become part of her identity. Ladybug is her identity, and so is the fact that she may never reveal that it is. Marinette knows how to lie easily now. Deflect, deny, “Oh I don’t recall”, “No, I was walking home”, breathe in, breathe out, easy. There’s something even easier than lying, and that’s never having to lie in the first place. Marinette has learned most people aren’t so observant. Most people would never suspect her. And if they never ask, then she never has to lie.

Marinette’s second secret is so much harder to keep.

It’s new, and it squirms the way new and uncomfortable secrets do. It twists her gut and pushes sweat into her palms. It feels like lying every moment she does not say it. It feels like lying every time Adrien catches the discomfort on her face (He’s observant—at least observant enough to notice this) and asks what’s wrong. “Oh, nothing! Why do you ask?” Does he believe her? Marinette had thought she’d gotten good at lying.

Marinette’s second secret eats her. She thinks of telling someone. Luka, maybe. He would at least understand the weight of it. But she can’t. She knows Luka would do the right thing, and the right thing would ruin so many things.

“Bye, Dad! Marinette and I are heading out to see a movie. I’ll be home before 9.”

Gabriel Agreste stares at them from the heights of his beautiful staircase, stern face set to the glower of a father who doesn’t approve of anything that brings his son happiness. Least of all friends. Least of all a girlfriend.

Marinette sees so much more in that stone face.

Marinette cannot tell Adrien that his father is Hawkmoth.

It eats her all over again.

…

“I think my dad is warming up to you,” Adrien says in a courtesy whisper, even though the previews have not started yet and the theater is empty save for them and an old man nodding off 10 rows ahead. His words are full of hope so deeply misplaced Marinette wonders if he’s lying to himself. “He’s been acting way less—Marinette?”

Oh. Adrien’s looking at her. It should be wonderful to have him look at her like that. But concern creases his brow. Marinette freezes. She feels it’s written all over her face. As if Adrien only stares close enough, he’d know the words playing in her head.

Your father is Hawkmoth, Adrien.

“You okay, Marinette?”

“Oh! Yeah. It’s—I just—it’s just I just have a headache, is all.” That part isn’t a lie. Marinette is bad at lying these days.

Would it have been better if it weren’t a solo mission? If Marinette knew she’d been heading directly into the bowels of Hawkmoth’s lair, she would have called for back-up. She hadn’t known it would be Hawkmoth’s lair. It was only supposed to be the Agreste family manor. She didn’t know until it was too late. She ran before she could think to call for back-up. What would Chat Noir have thought? What would he have done? She hasn’t seen him lately. She can’t ask him. She can’t tell him this secret, anyway.

“--Marinette?”

Oh. Adrien is still talking.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I can walk you back home if you’re—”

“I’m fine!” Lies. And Marinette is a bad liar these days. “Really. Just a headache. I was up too late studying. I have some Advil. I’ll just take some and—” Marinette reaches for a backpack strap which isn’t there. Right. She’s not at school.

“Here.” Adrien hands her his bag. “I’ve got some Advil in the front pocket. Have you eaten yet?”

“Um, no—”

“Then I’ll get some water and popcorn for us. That’ll help.” Adrien stands. The worry is still on his face. “Or, really we can just head home. If you’re not feeling well—”

“I’m fine, really! Popcorn, yes—popcorn would be good!”

He smiles at her. Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth. Adrien is smiling at her and he’s concerned for her. He has no idea how much he should be concerned for himself.

“I’ll be right back.” He leans down and plants a gentle kiss on her forehead. Marinette’s nerves buzz.

He can’t ever know.

And suddenly she’s alone. Holding Adrien’s bag. And it smells like him.

The previews kick on, stuttering and sudden. Marinette startles. The man 10 rows in front jolts awake. Marinette is out of her own mind for the few moments that the first preview holds her attention. She tries to follow it, tries to absorb its distraction, but her mind always pulls her back.

Hawkmoth.

Her head hurts.

Right… the Advil. In Adrien’s bag. Adrien her boyfriend and his dad is Hawkmoth—

Breathe.

Calm down. Come down.

Adrien said it was in the middle pocket, right?

Marinette unzips the middle zipper.

Two beetle-green cat slitted eyes blink up at her. Surprised, then scared, then vanishing all together, with just the remnants of a half-nibbled wedge of cheese to confirm Marinette had seen what she’d seen.

Marinette is good at not saying the words which only Ladybug should know.

Plagg?

She stares into the after-image. The previews fall quiet, and kick into the next film. Marinette isn’t breathing right, but her heart is racing. That was Chat Noir’s kwami. She knows she didn’t imagine it. And Plagg hid himself from her, because she is Marinette, and not Ladybug.

In Adrien’s bag.

Why in Adrien’s bag?

Marinette’s breathing gets shallower. She digs her fingers deeper into the pocket, pressing against the sickly sweaty sides of cheese wedges, until she hits something smooth, something hard, something small. She clasps her fingers around it and raises a single silver ring from the bag’s depths.

Marinette isn’t breathing.

When was the last time she saw Chat Noir?

“Marinette?”

She stows the ring, and snaps to attention. Adrien’s footsteps had always been quiet. She hadn’t noticed him return. He hands her a water bottle, and she takes it with her unoccupied hand.

“Here, for the Advil,” Adrien says, and he offers the popcorn in turn, though he hesitates at the new look on Marinette’s face. “Marinette, are you—?”

“I’m—NOT feeling well, actually…” Marinette says along a shaky exhale. “I’m just gonna go home.”

“Oh. Here, I can walk you—”

“I’ll just call my dad! Really. I don’t want to get you sick.”

“Oh… Okay, well—”

Marinette shoves his bag back at him, and she tries for a nod to temper the look on Adrien’s face before she pivots and stumbles through the row of theater seats.

She presses her fingers against the ring in her pocket as she pushes out of the theater.

She has to get this back to Chat Noir.

(If he’s still alive.)

She has to protect her own Miraculous.

(Assuming Adrien doesn’t already know.)

She has to protect all the others too.

From Hawkmoth.

From Gabriel Agreste.

(From his son.)

Was it foolish of her? To assume she knew something Gabriel’s own son didn’t?

To assume she was protecting Adrien from this?

Was it because Adrien never seemed anything like Hawkmoth?

(Marinette doesn’t seem anything like Ladybug.)

Why did she assume that she and the other Miraculous carriers were the only ones good at it?

The night air feels so much colder now. It’s the sweat on her face.

The son of Hawkmoth had kidnapped Chat Noir’s Miraculous.

A car narrowly avoids her, blaring its horn as it sweeps around. Marinette only touches her fingertips to her pocket, ensuring the ring is still there. Her ears, touching the earrings in place. The ghost of Adrien’s kiss lingers on her forehead.

(Why should only one Agreste be Hawkmoth?)

Marinette has three secrets.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - January 26th

taco anon - grayromantic anon (new) - no worries anon - 🐝 anon (new) - rambling anon (new) - middle grader anon (new) - label anon (new) - confidante anon (new)

Taco Anon

hey, it's taco anon

this is completely different from my last ask lolll but i wanted to share this bc little things like this help remind me that there is good in the world

im friends with these two boys and they've been best friends for a lot longer than i've known them. one of them is really musically talented - like he can hear a song and then know the keys on the piano and like play it after hearing it once. (i think this is so freaking cool) but i recently learned that when the other boy has a new favorite song, the piano one will learn how to play it for him.

it's honestly so sweet and i love them both so much😭😭😭

hope youre having a great day xoxo

OMG this is so sweet and it made my day 😍 honestly we need more reminders of good things like this

____________________________

Grayromantic anon

hi cas, how are you?

i needed to ask you how to get over a crush because i think i have a crush on a friend of mine

i don’t know what to do about it, because i really like him but he’s straight so i know he doesn’t like me back

the thing is, i’m aromantic or grayromantic or something, and i don’t think i would like to date him even

i like being friends with him, and i don’t want to date him. maybe i would like to be a bit closer but it’s not that important to me, you know? i’m just happy as it is now

which is why i have such conflicting feelings, because on one hand i think i do like him in a romantic way, but on the other i wouldn’t want to date him

i wish i could just forget about this and move on as normal

wishing you all the best :))

Hi!

Okay so I think at this point it might be a good idea to like..get some of these feelings out in a healthy way? You said you have conflicting feelings, you know? So I'd suggest maybe writing about it or drawing about it. Try to get those feelings down on paper and seeing if you can make a little more sense of them once they're not just rolling around in your brain. I know it's hard to have a million conflicting thoughts battling in you head to getting them out could really help <3

_______________

No Worries Anon

It has been a while since I sent an ask ig so I’m here for an update

Hello, it’s No Worries Anon

So… me and that friend reallllly haven’t talked at all outside of convos in class

And now that my class has ended, we have had legit no convos

Like… the last genuine convo through text that we had was earlyyyyy December, so it has been about 2 months since that.

They still haven’t called me my name. Still. Which sucks so much for me

Anyways, another person who hasn’t called me my name actually told another person my name, so that is cool

Nonetheless, it’s still rough having no one who respects me

Hi <3 I'm so sorry that things haven't gotten better. I want to remind you that whether or not you're getting respect, you DESERVE respect. Not only do you deserve to be called by the right name, but you deserve to be respected in every other way. Don't forget that <3

_______________________

🐝 anon

Hi! I know you said I didn't need to respond but I just wanted to say you are so valid for feeling overwhelmed. Please be gentle with yourself. I'm sending you so much love, and please try to take care of yourself, you deserve it <3

_____________________

Rambling Anon

His Cas! First of all, I just want to thank you for being so ridiculously sweet with everyone and always answering these asks. People often message me and leave asks too, but I’m so socially awkward that I never answer, and then I feel bad about it 😭. Like, the kind of bad where you stare at the unanswered messages, pretend they don't exist, and then suddenly remember them at 2 a.m. while eating cereal straight from the box. But I can’t help it. I have too much social anxiety.

Second of all... I've been writing a fic since May of last year, so… a while. I just hit 200k words, which is wild. And honestly? Terrifying. Like, how did I even get here?

The problem is, I have no clue what I’m doing. English isn’t my first language, so half the time, I’m convinced my grammar is out here committing war crimes. I feel like my writing is clunky, my dialogue is awkward, and the whole story feels so dull that I second guess every decision I’ve made.

And what’s worse... I’m nowhere near done. At best, I think I’m halfway through if I stick to my plan. If I want to tell the story the way I imagined, it’s probably going to be 400k words. For my first fic. What was I thinking?! Every time I open my documents, I feel like I’m drowning in timelines and backstories and just everything.

The worst part is, I want so much from this. I want the characters to feel real, the relationships to feel natural, the development to actually make sense. I want everything to matter, you know? But the more I try, the more I feel like I’m losing control.

I know I should probably get a beta reader to help, but that involves, you know, asking someone. And since we’ve already established I’m a socially awkward disaster, and too shy to ask anyone. Like, they're about to spend hours of their time reading it, it's too embarrassing.

This story means so much to me, and I really want to see it through. I want to finish it. I need to at least try. I love what I’ve created, but at the same time, I can’t stop hating it. It’s this weird love-hate relationship where I’m so proud of what it could be, but I’m constantly second guessing if it’s even worth it.

Most days, I come home from work completely drained, and even though I’m exhausted, I feel guilty if I don’t sit down to write immediately. It’s like I owe this story every bit of energy I have left but then I sit there staring at the screen, overwhelmed, and end up doing nothing.

I’m sorry for rambling here. I didn’t mean to unload all of this. But I really wanted to ask... Do you have any advice? Anything that could help me keep going and actually finish this thing? I just want to make it to the end without completely losing my mind in the process. I love your writing and I love your fics. And your work really makes me want to at least try.

Hi!

Okay so first, thank you <3 trust me, I often get overwhelmed by messages, it's just...tumblr is easier for some reason.

As far as your fic.

I think you need to reevaluate the amount of pressure you're putting on yourself. Writing fanfic is supposed to be FUN. If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong. You have no deadline, and have no responsibility to anyone. So a few things:

If you have any comments on your fic, read through the comments. They always make me feel better.

If you have anyone who follows your fic already, maybe that could be a good person to ask to beta? They already are following, you know? It's not hard for them to jump in.

Remember it does not have to be perfect. This is not published. You can go back and change things a million times! Again, this is supposed to be fun <3 If it's not, try taking a few breaths and doing whatever brought you to fandom in the first place. It's okay to take breaks and take care of yourself <3

I wish you so much luck!

________________

Middle Grader Anon

Okay so basically this anon asked what zionism is.

And for this, I'm going to say that though I understand what it is in theory...I don't think I'm educated enough to give a properly nuanced answer. I would say the best person to ask would be a history teacher. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help!

_________________

Label Anon

Hiii, I just had a little question to ask you, there’s nothing bad going on my life or anything, I just wanted tips on how to find my sexuality. I know that this maybe sounds like a stupid question but I really want to come out to my parents and I know that they support but I don’t really know what to say. I would like for me to know what my sexuality is before I try to explain some things to them. I would understand myself better if I had a label so I really wanted to know how to find it, I searched some things online and I think the sexuality I relate to the most is omnisexuality, but sometimes also pansexuality so I don’t really know. Do you have any tips on how to find my label?? Tyy<3

Hi <3

I think this is a hard question because like...labels are very different and personal for each person, and you don't even have to have one. I think if you really feel you need one, maybe see if you can talk to someone with the labels you might relate to and see if you feel similarly to how they feel? But also like...your sexuality is valid whether or not you have a definitive label. It's okay to tell your parents you're queer, and leave it at that. You are still just as part of the community, and your feelings are just as real <3 You don't have to rush yourself or push yourself to find a more detailed label yet, or at all.

__________________

confidante anon

Heyy cas! I messaged a few days ago saying how i loved ur fics nd i cane across how ure constantly helping people you're the most amazing everr. Um im sending this cuz like i rlly need someone to talk to rn theres too much going on and i was wondering if u cold be my, idk, confidante? Lmk wht u think of that!!

Hi!

You're absolutely welcome to vent or ask for advice in my inbox any time, my dear <3

[lovelylotusf1]

hiya ❤️ noticed u said ur away from tumblr for a while so i hope u don’t mind me sending this in. i also hope everything in your life gets back on track as much as it can and that you feel better ❤️‍🩹 i stumbled across sweet kitten today and omg it’s a masterpiece… i’m obsessed. i love how clear it is that charles cares about max and understands how he can’t necessarily say some things or when to coax him through it (a little meanly) bc you’ve created a world where they’re so obviously in love 😭

‘Charles is here and he will wait for however long it takes until Max is able to gather his thoughts’ is such a lovely line that really shows this and also makes the whole thing so much hotter because they trust each other so much. charles going through the names (hitting good boy as well) and then immediately recalibrating when he figures it out was sooooo !!

and then charles being that little bit mean while max is so desperate for it really truly made the whole fic like i just adore the dynamic and whiny bottom max and u have done it so brilliantly. “But don’t you think good kittens should say please?” was absolutely LETHAL once charles had established the correct boundary. and i think “Poor little kitty. You can't just meow and expect me to understand” truly cemented this as a fic of All Time for me.

sorry for literally quoting ur own fic back at u i just really need to impress upon you the way this has rewired my brain omg. ‘Charles smiles at him, the one where his dimples show, distracting from his brilliantly sharp teeth that are trying to sink into any weak spot he finds’ is SUCH a line and really shows how poor max got lulled into his false sense of security. “Then I will stay like this until you remember your manners. Bad boys need to do the work themselves” like life changing for max and i both clearly. “Oh, have I messed you up a bit too much?” totally sealed the deal. charles u know exactly what ur doing working poor max up and then making him pay for it.

the conversation at the end was also so lovely and honest and slice of life before max got banished to the shower… u can so tell how in enamoured they are with each other. i too like it when charles is mean to u max sorry to say. anyways so sorry for coming into ur ask box and ranting like this, just needed u to know how brilliant i think your writing, dialogue and characterisations are and to let u know that i will be the second chapter’s biggest fan!!!

Anon, I don't know what to say. This is probably my favourite message/comment I've ever gotten🥹 In fact, as soon as I have access to a printer, I will probably print this out and glue it into my notebook so I can re-read this over and over again.

Coming back to this after my short break is incredible, I'm literally shaking while trying to stop myself from crying.

I'm so glad you liked the fic! Sweet Kitten has become so special to me after hearing how much joy it gives people. Very happy that the love between Max and Charles comes across, because my main focus truly was trying to convey how well they know and trust each other! Hitting the balance between Charles being mean, but also showing how much he loves Max was truly a process that needed lots of editing and rewriting. Because smut is, above all, a character study for me, I am overjoyed when I hear that people liked the characterization :D

In hindsight, I'm sorry for saying chapter 2 will be out in a month because it has been over 2 and it's still not finished lmao. But it will be out! One day! The whole fic is currently sitting at 13k words, and if fic!Charles complies, it won't drag on for much longer.

Don't ever say sorry for coming into my askbox and "quoting my fic back at me", I love hearing people's thoughts and I loved every word of this!!!💗

[herofics]

Hey ! I seen your posts on teenage Touya ! And I really liked it ! Can I request you the same type of fic with teenager Touya x reader ? (where reader and him are already in a relationship) no problem if you don’t want, but thank you in advance :)

Have a nice day<3

(You said to send this like an ask so)

So this is a bit further into the future in the Dabi/Touya high school AU, I’m still probably going to write stuff that goes between this part and the previous one, but we’ll see. Anyway, part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here and part 4 here. I had to redo this twice because I wasn’t happy with it, and I’m still not sure I am, but I really just wanted to get this out. Might also be a bit of a mess tbh

You and Touya were going to celebrate your one year anniversary by going to an amusement park. You weren’t really that fond of the idea, but he had seemed excited about it, so you didn’t want to disappoint him, and you didn’t have any better ideas.

Your anniversary date happened to land on the weekend, so you didn’t even have to skip school to go to the amusement park. Which Touya probably wouldn’t have agreed to anyway, since his attendance record was excellent and he didn’t want to ruin it. He might have had a bad boy reputation at school, but he wasn’t like that, not really. He was very dedicated to his studies, unlike some others who had a similar reputation to him.

The two of you had agreed that you would come over to Touya’s, since the Todoroki residence was closer to the bus stop you needed to get to and you would walk to the bus from there, since it was just around the corner.

You were pretty nervous in the morning of the anniversary, because you weren’t a huge fan of amusement parks. You didn’t hate them, but they weren’t your favorite place either. Touya had suggested it and he had seemed excited about it and you just wanted to make him happy, so you had agreed to go.

Touya was looking forward to spending your anniversary with you. Honestly, he didn’t care how he’d spend it, as long as it was with you and he got to give you his gift. He had been racking his brain for months about what he wanted to get you, but he had finally found a necklace he liked the week before. He’d gotten the back of it engraved with his and your initials and the date you started dating.

When the doorbell finally rang, Touya basically leapt to open it.

“Hi” you said and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey sweetness” Touya smirked. “You ready to go?”

“Yep, you should grab a jacket or a hoodie though, you’re gonna freeze if the wind picks up”

“Nah, I’ll be fine” Touya said.

“Okay, have it your way, just don’t try to steal my hoodie when you get cold” you joked.

Touya rolled his eyes with an amused expression, and said: “We should go or we’ll miss the bus”

The two of you hurried out the door and walked to the bus stop. The sun was shining, and it was a pretty warm day, but you had a feeling the weather was going to turn. You didn’t have time to think about that anymore though, because you hopped on the bus and started heading towards the amusement park.

You sat next to Touya, who wrapped his arm around your shoulder and was staring out the window. You held your bag on your lap and leaned your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes. Before you knew it, you had arrived at the amusement park. Luckily the place didn’t seem to be packed as full as usual.

“Where do you wanna go first?” Touya asked as you got your passes.

“I don’t know. To be honest I haven’t been to this amusement park before, so you’ll have to lead the way” you told him.

“Fine by me” Touya shrugged and grabbed your hand to lead you through the crowd of people.

A lot of your day was spent queuing for the different rides, but that gave you a lot of time to chat. Touya managed to convince you to get into many rides, and even though they looked scary at first, you had a good time. Everytime you got scared, you held his hand and it always made you feel better.

Touya went on a couple of rides alone, because you didn’t want to go on the fastest ones or the ones that went upside down. You waved at him from the ground every time though. Touya had noticed the wind picking up and the air getting cooler for a while now, but he wasn’t going to say anything, he didn’t want to give you the chance to tell him “I told you so”. You were bundled up in your hoodie, so he wasn’t even sure if you had noticed.

“So where next? We’ve been to almost every ride, or at least you have” you noted as Touya came off the big rollercoaster.

“What do you say we call it a day? I’ve been to everywhere I wanted to go anyway” Touya said

“Sure, we just need to buy some cotton candy, it’s a mandatory purchase at an amusement park” you smirked and took his hand, starting to drag him towards one of the many gift shops.

“Fine” Touya rolled his eyes, but followed you without resistance.

You got your cotton candy, and the two of you started to make your way to the exit and to the bus stop.

“What do you wanna eat when we get back?” Touya asked as you waited for the bus.

“Pizza?”

“Sure” Touya said.

You hopped on the bus and started your trip back to the Todoroki residence.

The half an hour went by fast and before you knew it, you were already walking back to Touya’s home. You had spent the trip in silence, which you didn’t actually mind, since it wasn’t an awkward silence.

As you got off the bus, you grabbed Touya’s hand. Your hands were cold and since he always ran a bit warmer than you, you figured it would be a good way to warm up.

“Are you cold?” you asked as you grabbed Touya’s hand and it was feeling quite chilly.

“I’ll warm up once I get indoors” he said nonchalantly.

You took off your hoodie and wrapped it around Touya’s shoulders, bundling him up in it as best you could.

“Why are you givin it to me? You’re gonna get cold, dumbass” he said, trying to give it back to you.

“It’s not a long way to your house so, I’ll be fine” you smiled and wrapped the hoodie around him tighter.

“Thanks” Touya said.

You walked the rest of the way to the Todoroki residence and when you got in, Touya immediately  gave your hoodie back to you. You followed him into his room and sat down on his bed as he went to find a hoodie from his closet.

“I’m gonna call the pizza place. Is the usual okay?” Touya asked.

"Yep" you answered and started going through your bag.

You were rummaging around your bag, trying to find the gift you had bought Touya. You finally found it as he ended the call and went to get something from his desk drawer.

Touya sat down next to you on the bed and noticed you were holding a small black box in your hands. It was very similar to the one he was holding.

He really hoped you would like the necklace. He was watching your expression as he handed you the box.

You accepted the box and opened it. Inside there was a beautiful silver necklace with a circular pendant that had a little swirl engraved on the front and your and Touya’s initials engraved on the other side.

“Omg, it’s so beautiful” you exclaimed, raising it up by the chain so it reflected in the light from the window.

Touya sighed in relief and said: “I’m glad you like it”

“I have something for you too” you said and grabbed your own box from your lap, handing it to him.

Touya took the box and opened it. You had gotten him a necklace with a square pendant, that had smaller squares engraved inside each other on the front and both of your initials engraved on the back.

“Wow” he said. “I’m never takin this off” he smirked.

“Oh thank god you like it” you sighed in relief.

“Of course I like, it looks cool and you got it for me”

“It’s kind of funny that we both got each other necklaces” you chuckled.

“You didn’t happen to consult that damn bird on what to get me, did you?” Touya asked jokingly.

“Well he is your best friend… but I’m admitting nothing” you grinned.

“I’m askin because I also asked him for an idea on what to get you”

“Ah, so he set us up”

“Basically”

You just looked at each other before you started laughing.

When you calmed down, you said: “Happy anniversary, Touya”

“Happy anniversary (Name)” he answered with a soft smile.

[freedomfireflies]

Okay, okay, okay. I have so much to say and I feel like I’m going to combust. Deep breaths as I try to get my thoughts and body under control.

First, I’ll just say… are you fucking kidding me? The girl in your new pfp is… you? Jesus Christ. You are literally. The dream….I don’t even know what to say. Wow. Blown away. You’re beautiful and precious and we must protect you at all costs. I’d follow you into battle. You are Y/N. And *don’t* argue with me. I already saw you do it with another anon. Sit there and take the compliment like the good girl you are (sorry, couldn’t help myself).

Okay, I can feel the shakiness creeping back into my body as I divulge on the second topic… Infinite You.

You know when you read something that just feels like it scratched the *perfect* itch in your brain? And maybe you didn’t even know it was itchy in the first place? When you read something that feels like someone ripped the words and feelings right from inside of you? Have you ever read something and thought, there’s not one part of this that doesn’t feel like it isn’t actually me? Like excuse me, who let this stranger know and understand me in such an intimate way?

I got so lost in Infinite You. I forgot I was reading. I felt like I was living it. And it was… unnerving. Eery. Uncanny. Like I physically I had to go somewhere private to continue reading it—and not for the obvious reasons, get your mind out of the gutter—but because I couldn’t keep reading *and* pay attention to how I was responding or my surroundings while I was. I didn’t want someone to see my facial expressions, or for someone to realize that every muscle in my body was strung up in nerves. I wanted to scrunch up into a ball and let myself… disappear into it. Let my eyes widen or my mouth smile or my cheeks flush and not worry about being seen. Because I was so deep in it that I physically *couldn’t* control any of those things (And I’ve gotten pretty good at schooling my expressions—reading so much smut in public, ya know.) And maybe that’s because I already felt so exposed, so vulnerable while reading it. I’ve read plenty of fics that made me giddy, made me blush, made me feel like I was glowing from the inside out. But by the end of this one, I was… tired. Like I’d gone through it too (minus the intense ecstasy of actually having mind blowing oral and penetrative sex with a perfect version of Harry lololol).

This is all probably coming out *not* sounding like a compliment. But I’ve meant it that way, I promise. I think it’s a testament to how brilliant and vastly unique your brain is. That you’ve created so many wonderful worlds and characters, and the fact that they speak to someone different each time. You are an incredible writer. And this one in particular, spoke to me (an anonymous user who you don’t know and therefore my last statement holds no meaning to you). But it means a lot to me.

So anyway. Sorry for spilling my guts all over you. I just… did not expect to be so affected when I started reading it.

Um… and again sorry if that didn’t sound like a good thing. It was. “Sad is happy for deep people”

So sorry for taking SO long to answer this, but please know, the moment I read it, I nearly burst into tears!!!!!!

This is truly one of the nicest things I could ever hear!!!! Honestly, I will never be able to thank you enough for taking the time to read the story and feel strongly enough about it to send me this 😭💞💞💞 I will be printing this out and plastering it all over my wall so I can look at it every day and smile!!! You are such a gem and I don't even have the words for how much I appreciate you!! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Will be crying indefinitely 😭💞

[willowser]

hi hi!! i hope u are doing wonderful! i usually ask on anon but bc of recent circumstances i totally understand why u removed that option, so Hii <333

i have a recent thought and was just wondering what u think! I’m rewatching mha from the start lol and i was just thinking abt how many different quirks there was and it got me thinking what type of quirk u think would be compatible for bakugo?? I’ve always liked the idea of his partner being quirkless just bc of his past with Deku and idk i like the irony. But if he were to end up with someone who had a quirk or was also a pro hero, what would u think would be compatible with his? I love the cliche of opposites but idk what do you think?? (I’m sorry if you’ve touched on this already!!)

(also!! Sorry for this being so long hehe, but I’ve been reading fics on here for like 3-4 years now and i love reading x reader fics but I’ve never actually imagined myself as reader?? Does that make sense?? I create like this stunt double for myself almost, just a blank mystery face, but every single time I read something u wrote, i do see myself. And i feel like u have such an amazing inclusive way of writing!! So thank u!! I’m Latina and i saw that u are Hispanic? ((i apologize if I’m assuming)) so idk if maybe that’s why, but i hope other ppl on here of all walks of life feel the same way!)

Just wanted to say i think ur so great and it makes me so happy to see u doing well!!! Hope ur having a great week!! <33

oh HELLO SILLY GOOSE 🥺🩷✨️ what a cute way to call you ! 🥺 you're so sweet to come to me off anon, friend !! i feel like it can be so nerve-wracking, to be forthcoming like that 🥺 so i really appreciate you doing so just to be so nice to me akfbriskqlq ✨️

oh, what a fun question !! i do have thoughts on this !!! i've gotten into the habit of writing quirkless readers so that way we're more versatile, but !! when i started writing a pro-hero reader for a wip, i spent an agonizingly long time trying to decide what to give us LOL in the fic we are actually bakugou's partner, and i decided on sort of a sun/heat/energy related quirk ? i don't have many specifics, but it's literally like solar/heat charge kind of ?? and i really liked this idea because then it ends up making bakugou helpful to us !! rather than us helpful to him aifbfjsjq so that's fun !!

but i've also always liked air abilities, as well, i.g. air bending, and i think that could be beneficial to him, maybe ?? when i think about it, i think — the importance of adding oxygen to a fire, and i know his quirk isn't solely fire-focused, and it has more to do with his sweat and the right timing for combustion, but i still think it could be helpful ?? perhaps to help carry the effect, idk !! and then the last thing i thought of was something that would be very defense-focused for him, since he's such an aggressive fighter. a quirk which could help him from the blow-back of his own explosions (if he even needs that ?? which he might not and possibly has his own biological resistance to them or something) or to just be there for him in the exact right moment that he needs shielding, if that makes sense.

idk !!! tbh it really scrambled my brain for the longest time, trying to figure out support for him LOL bc he's such a versatile fighter, i think. he can do long range and short, he's good in hand-to-hand, he's wicked fast, like what could he need LOL so i think naturally something to defend him since he — really can't himself ?? without taking damage — or something that amplifies his ability, but even in saying that, his ability already has a large spread/effect/damage so, how much more can you amplify it, anyway ?? ANYWAY SORRY TO JUST RAMBLE AND RAMBLE SKFHEUWIQ

i also do not see myself !! i have a pretty stand-in for every single fic LOL but — what a wonderful comfort you have given me 🥺 you're so sweet 🥺 i'm so glad that you're able to see yourself !! we are together !! we are holding hands !!! how exciting 🥺 WAAAAHHH HOW WONDERFUL !!!! thank you thank you thank you 🥺🥺🥺✨️🩷🩷🩷

PLEASE tell me what your thoughts are !!! on the subject !!! i would love to know !!! 🥺🥺🥺

[whenmuldermetscully]

XF Rewatch - S7 (X-Cops thru Je Souhaite) / long post

FPS — great. Hope that post-case bang got all the ya-ya’s out and then some. Congratulations, you two have found a system that works.

Theef — it’s been touched on, but goddamn do they like a good flirt at a crime scene. Poor Padgett rolling in his grave at all this free inspo

En Ami — I miss landlines. The ol call the house phone first then the cellphone… cute that she calls Mulder like a proper gf about going out of town but again…. NO CODE PHRASE. C’mon guys.

The more I watch this episode thru the lens that CSM is actually trying to put MSR closer together so she gets pregnant to continue his legacy, makes this episode a TEENSY bit better. But damn Scully’s got dealt such a hand for in-laws. …

The LGM I could never hate you. They’dve been the best uncles ever 😭

Yup I’m just accepting that CSM did all this just so he could push Scully into Mulder’s bed before the summer so she could get pregnant. If he did anything to Scully while asleep, it was to restore whatever was necessary for her fertility. Idk. This episode is just too oooogiee for me to accept otherwise. Anyway - Mulder looked hot.

Chimera — mmhmm. Scully is no better than Mulder when he goes off on a case without her. Basically calling him for no other reason than “hey…in case you forgot about me…” Scully and her cute lil whiny “Mulder… ☹️” ……….And ngl my brain could easily imagine a playful “gotta go ok bye love you” at any one of their phone conversations in this episode. It’s season 7… if we had gotten ONE “I love you”, then maybe we wouldn’t be begging for it 24 years later —WHICH we still haven’t gotten mind you

Once again watching EVERYONE ELSE have sex except the people who deserve it. My god. What a waste.

All things — gotta love that this episode starts off with them post-coital as the x file.

‘Scully… you little victim.’ - sorry I struggle with this episode as much as there is a lot of things I love happening in it.

I do love the universe intervening… Mulder leading her even when he’s not. All roads back to Mulder.

Daniel is such a…. Scully, I could never. One thing that is so — heartbreaking to see is how open and receptive she is to Daniel and not Mulder. It really gives such an insight to what’s all going unsaid. Even more so after being with Mulder, she’s still unsure or unwilling - it’s like how long babe 🥺? How long have you been feeling this way alone?

But I do love that she told Mulder everything and of course the conclusion that it was always Mulder. Anyway, William. That was when mommy first said I Love You to daddy (I don’t know where I place conception… sometimes it’s here, sometimes it’s Hollywood AD…) I mean you know Scully’s in her feels when she starts monologuing.

I don’t care for ‘all things’ first time fics, but I do go balls to the wind for a solid all things first ILY fic.

Brand X — sassy Skinner is my favorite. Tough break for MSR mannn. They just *waves hand* you know? And now Mulder got BUGS in his chest. Even tougher break for Scully because this makes 2 lovers on their ‘deathbed’ back to back…… but you know what, knowing what’s coming in s8.. I just want to hold Scully and close her eyes because actual hell is on the horizon that makes this look like a cake walk

Hollywood AD — I have so many questions about the opening scene, the lines in the coffin… we got: flashlight/dick joke, 7years waiting, bees, and making out? Because that all means there was some kind of disclosure made or at least conjecture

Scully being described as “Jodie Foster’s foster child on a payless budget” is my new bio.

4 weeks probation…. What did you guys do with your time?

Flirty playful MSR makes me sad because i want to see playful, carefree, goofy domestic MSR

And Chuck. WHERE DID HE GO? I like him! He knows things. He should’ve been a regular

Je Souhaite — aww look at that… our last glimpse of happiness. They’re just… a couple in love investigating these low risk cases, relaxing the night away with beer and movies and sex and all is GOOD. If she’s not already pregnant, she will be 😭 they’re so happy. I—

[wolfsbane-and-nettles]

Writer ramble:

I’m a huge fan of writing your trauma into fics. The level of thereputicness I’ve experienced in putting what I go through or have gone through onto my Blorbo has helped me immensely.

It’s helped me overcome a lot, and understand a lot about myself and what I’ve been through, as well as help me forgive those who have wronged me (my choice, no one is obligated to forgive anyone for anything).

That being said, I’ve got one fic idea in mind that I’ve felt conflicted about writing. It makes me feel better, and I know it is a story I’d want to read…but I always get worried about comments like…

-how dare you condone this

-by writing this you inspire others to do bad things

-this is disgusting and you should feel bad

….and so on. I’ve seen so many amazing fics get these sort of comments simply because they’re writing about bad things happening to good people. It irks me…

I get writing these comments if perhaps it wasn’t tagged, or if the author clearly is saying “do bad things”…but I’ve never seen that.

Now, I can handle rude comments. I’m happy to say I’ve never gotten anything rude from this fandom, and I’m so thankful for that. Everyone is always lovely and kind and I am scared if put our blorbo’s through something that is based on my trauma, then the kindness I’ve been shown will disappear.

I’ve got so many WIPS but this one fic is filing my brain to the point I can’t focus on any of them, yet my fear keeps be from writing it. It is one of those fics where it isn’t just about writing it, but also the relief that comes with publishing and sharing, ya know?

Anyways, just wanted to ramble and get that out.

[access--granted]

Hey, I hope you’re doing okay! (on anon because i’m a bit socially anxious, but i want to talk to people, too! crazy how the brain lacking some chemicals can make you feel so weird.) Anyway! Here are my questions:

What inspires you to write?

What is your favorite genre to read/write?

Lastly, gentle reminder to take care of yourself! You’ve gotten this far, and that’s something to be proud of! Life is really, really hard. It’s more than okay to struggle. No matter what your brain tells you, it doesn’t make you any less deserving of love or happiness or success. Remember, you’re not alone. I hope you have a good day/night! 💚

Hi, lovely anon! I'm doing okay, thank you, and I hope you are too! It's totally okay for you to be on anon anytime. Even if you want to stay on anon each time you pop by, you can give yourself an emoji to go by, if you like!

You've asked a couple of really great questions here, so forgive me while I ramble a bit, haha.

My two biggest inspirations for writing are a combination of music and my favourite tv/movie/game characters.

I often write fic based on lyrics or the theme that I feel they fit into. Sometimes, the song doesn't even have to have lyrics, but if it makes me feel a certain way, I'll write a story based on that feeling! It's a pretty odd process, but it works well for me and provides much inspiration. When the song fits the vibe of a certain character well, too, that's a massive bonus.

Sometimes, looking at art inspires me to come up with a baseline plot, too. Imagery is an important thing to me, even though I'm still a little rusty at writing to set the atmosphere.

As for what genres I enjoy writing/reading the most... hmm. I've gotta go with romance being my top go-to for both, but angst is also up there, too. Nothing beats a sad ending or a tragedy, in my opinion.

Thank you for your sweet words at the end, lovely anon! Life is definitely hard at times, but I'm always seeking out and remembering all the things and people that make me happy. I hope you take care, and have a lovely day/night too. 🤍

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

this post has been in my likes for a while and i kept meaning to reblog it but i was having a hard time finding the words to express what i wanted to say

anyway this letter has actually been making me tear up for weeks now bc like. ok. this is gonna take a sec to explain:

so ive been active in the ofmd fandom since like april 2022 and while the majority of the content on here is reblogs, i also have been pretty regularly posting original stuff since like june or july 2022, primarily metas and shitposts.

but i’m definitely not posting as much as i used to (i think fall 2022 was my most prolific posting period) bc my life circumstances have changed and i dont have as much free time and energy as i did a year ago. and this is a good thing for me! im very happy with how my life is going rn! but i do miss getting to dedicate more of my time to thinking and talking abt gay pirates.

more than that tho. i also consider myself a half decent writer and like a pretty mediocre artist (and i don’t say that to be self deprecating, i’m not insecure abt where my skills are at for things that are essentially silly hobbies. worrying too much abt quality takes the fun out of it for me). and i’ve posted like a handful of scribbley ofmd doodles and one chapter of an abandoned WIP that i dislike now and actually don’t want anyone to read.

and sometimes i feel kinda? guilty?? about that?? not so much abt not posting as much anymore, bc like i said, i’m busier these days and that’s a good thing. it’s more abt art and fic, especially fic bc i actually have been writing a lot of ofmd stuff it’s just all WIPs, like i have more ofmd WIP files on my google drive than i can count and absolutely none of it is worth sharing. i’ve been telling myself i’m gonna write all this ofmd fic and then i never finish anything and sometimes it feels like i’m… idk, not doing enough for the fandom??? i feel like i should be Contributing More. like it is my civic duty and i’m letting my siblings in fandom down. and no, i don’t know why i feel this way.

anyway i have always been a big fan of rambling in the tags but i often like, forget other ppl can see them (which has gotten me in trouble before lol). in my brain, talking in the tags is like talking out loud for my own benefit.

idk i’m getting really teary realizing someone actually noticed and appreciated me doing that, that even when i’m not making any content myself or not as much of the content i want to be making or i’m making less content than i used to, i’m still contributing to the fandom in some way by cheering on other creators who have more time and/or energy to create more than i do. like i said, i’m mostly talking in the tags for myself, but i’m so so glad that ppl appreciate my thoughts and i’m so glad it’s encouraging to other fans. there is a lot of talent and a lot of love in this fandom and even tho it’s uhhh Rough Sometimes im still really fuckin glad to be here with y’all <3

For @ourflagmeansgayrights who I've never spoken to but who always reblogs with such lovely tags for all artists and gif makers and meta writers, and seems so so kind ❤️ thank you for keeping creators going!

Hi @ourflagmeansgayrights! You've received a lovely letter. 💌

[iamfabiloz]

hi hello I’ve finished my blossomdove fic wooo!! It’s pretty long and I put lots of love (hehe) into it and I hope u enjoy it :)!! If you do read it please leave a comment or rb and tell me wat u think! :} specific comments rlly help my motivation and make me happy bc im like omg u read my thing!!

This story takes place after bramblestars storm, in the inbetween time before the apprentices quest. There might be inconsistencies but I do hope u like it anyways lol! Also in this thing, bumblestripe and Dovewing never courted or anything I threw that out the window lmao

Also I did make all the thoughts italic when I was writing this in the notes app but sadly it did not stay italic when i copy pasted that here so just be aware KWKW non quotation mark stuff blossomfall says is her thoughts oki got that, good!

Without further ado, I hope u enjoy!

Blossomfall felt the warm glow of greenleaf sunlight on her pelt as it filtered through the den entrance. Is it morning already? It must be if it’s reaching me all the way over here. She turned over in her nest with a grunt. Her whole body ached but she blinked rapidly anyways.

Might as well be up when Squirrelflight assigns patrols for the day.

Hmmph, I hope I don’t get sent out on a border patrol. I don’t really feel like seeing those WindClan furballs. I’d rather catch a squirrel.

Making a mental checklist in her head, Blossomfall reviewed what she had to do today.

Briarlight said she wanted to try a robin, I’ll have to go hunting today to get one for her. Bramblestar said Molewhisker and Cherryfall scented a fox near ShadowClan, so no way I’m going near there. Bumblestripe said he wanted to catch a rabbit. I’ll have to be there to drag him away, before the stupid mouse-brain starts a war with WindClan. Rosepetal asked me if I wanted to go check out an abandoned badger den, the scatter-brained idiot. She says she wants to be deputy but then pulls kit stuff like that! If I have to cover her tail one more time…

I wonder if she’ll settle for a normal hunting session. Oh and I have to collect moss for Briar and Bumble’s nests and check it over for thorns.

Feeling satisfied with today’s activities, Blossomfall was about to get up to stretch when she felt a furry bundle brush her side. Confused, she turned to looked at what or who was next to her.

Oh.

Blossomfall’s denmate, Dovewing was curled up next to Blossomfall, her pelt brushing the tortoiseshell’s frame. Dovewing’s paws were twitching slightly and her fluffy tail was bristling. Her brow was furrowed, as if upset. She looks kind of cute, Blossomfall thought but than immediately took it back. Shut up, she growled in her mind. Don’t be weird. She’s just laying there.

The gray she-cat lay on the ground, no nest beneath her. Did she just pick herself up in the middle of the night and settle here? Blossomfall queried. She had never really known what to label Dovewing as. Friend? Sister of a friend? Cr-Clanmate? She always seemed kind of distant in a way, like she wasn’t fully there. She was a brilliant warrior though. One of the best hunters Blossomfall knew. Her sharp ears and nose could pick out a mouse in a blizzard. Blossomfall admired that greatly. Yet something about the she-cat was off. Is it me? Dovewing was a perfectly good cat, with her soft gray fur and pretty green eyes and her amazing hunting skills. She and Blossomfall had always gotten along, at least Blossomfall thought so. It was a clan-matey sort of relationship but Blossomfall felt like … something else. Maybe Blossomfall was feeling at her wrong. Some unknown emotion tossed about in her belly, light-hearted and strange. I want to get to know her better, she finally decided.

Feeling awkward, Blossomfall sat deathly still, afraid to move and wake up her sleeping denmate. Come on, stop being a kit about this, you bug-brain.

Feeling too warm beneath her pelt, Blossomfall tried to shift away but Dovewing let out a tiny hiss. Blossomfall blinked in surprise. Was that directed at me? Have I woken her up? Blossomfall wondered. But as she looked closer, Dovewing’s eyes were still closed, but her claws were out. She’s having a bad dream, Blossomfall realized.

Gently, Blossomfall laid her tail on Dovewing’s spine. She stroked it softly, trying to murmur something comforting like Millie would do when she was a kit.

“It’s alright. It’s only a dream.” Blossomfall mumbled, quite unconvincingly.

Blossomfall felt Dovewing relax under her touch. Dovewing’s claws sheathed and her face softened. A tiny spark of emotion clawed at the former Dark Forest trainee’s belly. Blossomfall wanted to get up and shove her way out of the den but she didn’t for some reason. Instead, to the dismay of her screeching mind, Blossomfall stayed. Blossomfall felt her paws go numb after several minutes, but she didn’t care.

Why do I want this?

Blossomfall stayed like that for what seemed like at least an hour. Dovewing’s warm pelt pressed against hers, and her frame twitched from time to time. Blossomfall felt trapped, yet she didn’t want to leave. Not yet, her terrified mind hissed. This is nice.

No it’s not! Blossomfall tried to protest, but

she also didn’t budge and didn’t make any attempt to leave.

Blossomfall twitched her burning ears. She could hear the sound of paw steps getting closer and closer. Feeling very glad she was at the back of the den, Blossomfall hovered her tail protectively over Dovewing’s back.

Squirrelflight’s ginger head popped into the den. Blossomfall felt her tail bush and curl over Dovewing’s side. Frozen, Blossomfall stared with wide eyes and wondered if she wished hard enough, she could melt into the floor and disappear forever. What is wrong with me?

Squirrelflight looked around at the snoozing cats in the den and let out a small purr.

“Sleepyheads.” She murmured and left. Blossomfall felt a tiny stab of indignation but didn’t move. She didn’t see us- me. Dovewing turned over, and Blossomfall inched over a smidge so that they were comfortably resting against each other again. Dovewing’s eyes were still shut, and her flank rose up and down as she slept.

Blossomfall slowly sank her head down onto her paws, trying not to tremble. My brain has turned to thistlefluff! I’m sappier than a maple tree. I should be up and tending to my duties. But her head began to feel heavy again and her eyelids drooped. I woke up too early.

Blossomfall’s checklist forgotten, she tucked her paws in and let herself drift off to sleep. A couple more minutes can’t hurt…

Blossomfall awoke with the feeling of falling but never hitting the ground. She stretched her front paws out, her body adjusting to suddenly being awake. The warm weight of Dovewing was gone from her side, and Blossomfall repressed the stab of sadness she felt afterwards. Shut up, stop it, she told herself angrily. You’re being sad over nothing.

Blinking blearily, her eyes focused at last. Most of the cats around her were gone, probably out patrolling or hunting. Ack, how long was I out? She turned to leave, but then stiffened. Dovewing was sitting only a few pawsteps away. She was bent down, grooming her ruffled flank. She looked up at Blossomfall and smiled. Blossomfall wondered if the other she-cat could hear her heart explode.

“Oh hi Blossomfall!” Dovewing meowed cheerily, waving her tail. “I slept near your nest last night because rain was dripping onto my head in my usual spot. There was a hole in the roof above me. I hope I didn’t bother you. Ivypool says I fidget in my sleep.” Dovewing’s green eyes glowed in the dimly lit den. They’re leaf green, Blossomfall noted, and very sparkly.

Blossomfall almost gagged at herself. What am I, a feather-headed sparrow?

Dovewing shifted her paws.

Oh fox-dung she’s waiting for me to say something! Blossomfall realized in terror, her belly lurching.

“I-uh, your good.” Blossomfall mumbled, feeling her stomach twist into a knot.

“I slept fine, I didn’t even notice.”

Dovewing brightened. “Oh great! Uhm, could I sleep here for a few nights? Brackenfur is busy patching up the elder’s den and he’s probably too busy right now to fix a little thing like this.” Blossomfall flicked her ears foward, feeling her heart lift a little.

“I-yeah sure. That’s fine with me.” Blossomfall dipped her head, clamping her jaws shut before she could say something else mouse-brained.

Dovewing purred and leaned over to touch her muzzle to Blossomfall’s shoulder. Blossomfall’s mind screeched and whirled, but Blossomfall forced her body to stand still.

STOP IT, STOP IT. FOR STARCLAN’S SAKE, ACT LIKE A NORMAL CAT, she yelled at herself in her treacherous head, but her brain continued to spin in circles, trying desperately to process the event. It’s just a clan-mate thing to do that’s all, stop finding meaning in everything.

“Thanks Blossomfall, that means a lot.” Dovewing’s gentle voice broke Blossomfall out of her mind’s internal melt-down.

“Mmhm yeah, no problem,” she managed to choke out, trying desperately to keep her neck fur from trembling.

Dovewing pulled away, and Blossomfall found herself less angry at the flicker of sadness that stabbed her again.

Dovewing stared at her for second, seemingly analyzing something, before she licked her paw and drew it over her ear. She stuck out her tongue slightly, and shook out her thick gray fur. Cute, Blossomfall thought before she could stop herself.

I should get out of here before my brain completely turns to mush, she thought but didn’t turn to leave. Instead, she decided to groom her own pelt. I probably look like I was dragged through thorns backwards!

Blossomfall bent down and smoothed the stuck up fur on her side, seeing Dovewing do the same out of the corner of her eye. Hm, that’s kinda funny.

As she finished licking the front of her pelt, she twisted her head around and saw she still had messy fur on her spine and flank. Hrm, I’m not as flexible as Dovewing is. Usually, Bumblestripe helps smooth down my fur. He says I need it, she recalled, snorting internally. Bumble’s always saying my face is like a Twoleg mood ring and that my fur should reflect that! Cheeky fur for brains! As if his use of Twoleg vocabulary didn’t make him insufferable enough! Poor Stormcloud, he must have been exhausted after all Bumble’s questioning. I don’t see why he didn’t just ask Millie, she used to be a kittypet too. I saw Briar bring Stormcloud a mouse after Bumblestripe left, and Storm looked like HE was the one who got pulled through a thorn barrier. I’m sure Millie would have taken Bumble’s question session better. Though she grumbled internally about her brother, she looked around fondly, searching for any signs of his gray and black pelt. Most of the nests were empty, including Bumblestripe’s.

Off to start fights early, eh? I guess I’ll just be walking around today with the fur on my butt looking like I sat on a bramble. Typical. I really need someone to help me reel in Bumblestripe or he’s going to be the death of me someday.

“Need help?” Dovewing asked, making Blossomfall’s heart jump.

It took Blossomfall a dreadfully slow heartbeat to realize she meant with grooming her fur and not with sticking Bumblestripe into an badger hole.

“Uh sure, thanks.” She responded, nervously padding over to stand close to the gray she-cat. Dovewing mrrowed in amusement.

“Did you sit on thicket or something?” she joked, pressing her nose to Blossomfall’s side.

Blossomfall felt her pelt burn madly and she let out a half-hearted purr.

“My fur seems to have a mind of its own. I can never keep it smoothed down for a whole day. Stupid thing thinks it’s the boss of me!”

Dovewing chortled, bringing her paw to her muzzle as she laughed.

Blossomfall felt like she had caught the biggest squirrel in the forest. Relaxing, she pressed closer to Dovewing, letting herself breathe out softly.

“Bumblestripe usually helps me groom my fur,” she meowed. “But today it looks like he left to get himself put on tick duty for the next six moons.”

Dovewing let out a overdramatic gasp. “What is he doing this time?” She purred.

“The cheeky furball wants to catch a rabbit and he’s probably going to get the whole of WindClan chasing after him by midday.” Blossomfall replied, raising her tail.

Dovewing snorted and smiled. She looked wistful, but then her eyes gleamed mischievously.

“I bet you a mouse he comes home wailing, without so much as a sniff of a rabbit.” she teased, resting her head on Blossomfall’s back. Emotion surged though Blossomfall’s chest, nearly knocking her off her paws. Blossomfall purred, louder than she intended, but she didn’t even mind at this point.

“I bet you a dove he comes home with a rabbit and a patrol from WindClan.” she meowed back, hardly even believing herself as she rested her tail on Dovewing’s side.

“Real original,” Dovewing mewed heartily, her eyes gleaming with amusement.

Blossomfall dared to bump Dovewing’s shoulder teasingly with her nose.

“I believe you said you were going to help me with my fur?” Blossomfall meowed, silently hoping she had said it in a joking manner.

“Oh yeah oops! Sorry I got distracted.” Dovewing replied, suddenly looking shy.

Blossomfall simply nodded and stood still, letting Dovewing lick at the fur on her spine. It was kind of … soothing. She stood there, as still as a tree, as Dovewing groomed her dappled tortoiseshell fur. The smoky gray she-cat smoothed down the last of Blossomfall’s tufty fur and nudged her shoulder with her muzzle again to let Blossomfall know she was done.

“Er, thanks Dovewing.” Blossomfall meowed quietly, feeling her pelt heat up again. That seemed to be a common occurrence today.

“Don’t mention it.” Dovewing mewed, brushing her cheek against Blossomfall’s side.

She turned to the den entrance and flicked her tail, beckoning for the other cat to follow. Before Blossomfall could fully process the motion, she felt her paws pad after her. They stepped out of the den, and Blossomfall squinted as the dazzling sunlight hit her face.

“Wanna go talk to Squirrelflight? Might as well get our duties out of the way.” Dovewing asked, tipping her head to one side.

Blossomfall nodded in agreement.

“Good idea. I wanna get some stuff done after patrols.”

Dovewing’s purring made Blossomfall’s chest glow and the tortoiseshell and white she-cat raised her head, feeling pleased.

Maybe I should ask her if she wants to join me on any patrols I get assigned. Blossomfall thought hopefully. Huh, what? She suddenly snapped at herself. Suddenly aware of the haze she was in, a tiny knot of nervousness began to tighten in her belly. Blossomfall’s whole pelt felt off and not hers, and her paws felt strangely light. I feel good-weird, she huffed in her head.

I want to stay like this.

Feeling puzzled at her own thoughts, Blossomfall suddenly realized Dovewing was meowing something in the background.

“Helloo, Earth to Blossomfall?” Dovewing said, her tone teasing but slightly concerned.

“Oh hm? Sorry I was just thinking about something.” Blossomfall said, licking her chest fur in embarrassment.

“It’s alright, I get it.” Dovewing meowed, padding over to rest her tail tip on Blossomfall’s shoulder. It sent Blossomfall’s heart spinning, and she struggled to keep an automatic purr from rising in her throat.

If you keep melting at everything she does to you, she’s going to notice eventually.

Well I don’t care, Blossomfall snapped at herself. Yeesh, what’s gotten into me? Well whatever, I need to pay attention to her now anyways.

“I was asking if you wanted to join me on any patrols Squirrelflight puts me on,” Dovewing was saying, her green eyes gleaming.

“If that’s alright with you of course, if it’s not that’s ok I can go find Ivy-“

“NO!” Blossomfall blurted, cutting off Dovewing, surprising herself and presumably the gray she-cat.

“I-I mean no it’s fine, I’d like to be with -go with you.” Blossomfall replied, stumbling over her words like a newborn kit. Great StarClan what have I done?! Blossomfall bemoaned in her head. Dovewing probably thinks I’m the weirdest thing since Twolegs. And she’s right. She’s totally right. I’m literally fine with everyone else, why am I being a feather-head with her? Though she lamented the reason in her mind, she struggled to say it out loud even in her own thoughts. Shut up, stop getting lost in your head, focus on her, she ordered herself.

Blossomfall hoped Dovewing didn’t see her staring into space every five seconds.

Shaking her head around, she tuned back into Dovewing’s words.

Dovewing was purring again and Blossomfall felt her stupid heart lift once more. Stop doing that, she groaned inwardly, but didn’t mean it, not really.

“Okay great! I’d be happy to hunt with you too!” Dovewing meowed a bit too loudly, her posture straightening considerably.

Realizing her volume, Dovewing shyly scuffled her paws and continued in a smaller voice.

“I-thanks Blossomfall.” she said again, a hint of another purr in her voice. She purrs a lot, that’s cute. SHUSH, AUGH WHAT IS IT WITH ME AND ‘CUTE’ TODAY. I could at least think of a slightly different word or something. How unoriginal of me, me.

“Uhm, yeah no problem!” Blossomfall replied, trying to grin in a friendly way but she probably just ended up looking like she really wanted to get out of the conversation. Which I do, I think? She thought for a second. No, not really, she quietly admitted to herself.

“You’re gonna owe me a dove by the end of the day remember?” Dovewing said, her brow raised teasingly. Blossomfall’s paws felt light all over again and she dared to mrrow in mock offense.

“Excuse you, I have some faith in my brother; which I will show by giving him that mouse YOU will owe me by the end of today!” Blossomfall hissed playfully, tossing her head back dramatically. Oh thistle and weeds, I hope I don’t look weird!

Dovewing laughed, a shrill lovely noise that made Blossomfall instantly forget about her worries.

“Well, we’ll see about that! Come on!”Dovewing turned her head, heading straight for Squirrelflight. Woah, I didn’t even see her over there, Blossomfall thought admiringly, her paws already moving to match Dovewing’s. She’s really observant.

The pair passed by Lionblaze and Cinderheart sharing a mouse, Ivypool chatting with Mousewhisker and Thornclaw, and Briarlight basking in the sun with a snoozing Jayfeather. Blossomfall’s other clan-mates were milling about camp, some leaving for patrols, others basking in the sun like Briar and Jay, and others standing around gossiping.

Dovewing waved her tail at her sister and quickly darted over to say hello, before returning to Blossomfall and continuing their trek.

Blossomfall dipped her head in greeting as she passed her friends and quickly padded over to nudge Briarlight affectionately. Briarlight purred and Jayfeather grumbled something angrily about being awoken. I’m going to get her that robin! Blossomfall licked her littermate’s ear before mouthing, ‘gotta go’ and stepping back. Briar beamed mischievously at her, confusing Blossomfall. What? She turned to look at her friends.

Ivypool was grinning mysteriously and Mousewhisker’s eyes gleamed in a certain way that Blossomfall knew was because he had thought of something he found particularly hilarious. Thornclaw simply mouthed ‘nice’.

What the hell are these idiots doing? Blossomfall wondered in annoyance. She glared at the trio and Mousewhisker doubled over instantly. Blossomfall felt worried for split second before she realized he was trying hard not to laugh. Little hysterical wheezing noises were coming out out of his parted jaws. Hay-brained fool! Blossomfall thought furiously. Ivypool was patting his back with a paw, her face contorted strangely, presumably also trying not to burst into a fit of laughter. Thornclaw eyed the pair with disdain, but he was no better. Blossomfall could see his lips slightly twitching upward and his tail tip flicked back and forth.

What in StarClan’s name was that? Did I miss an inside joke or something? Feeling perturbed, she turned her attention back to Dovewing again. They finally reached the spot where Squirrelflight was hunched over.

The dark ginger deputy was at the fresh-kill pile, her eyes flicking over the prey and making indentations in the dirt. Probably making notes about the number of prey in the group and the patrols she’s sent out, Blossomfall mused approvingly.

Squirrelflight looked up, her paw still clawing into the ground.

“Oh hi Dovewing and … Blossomfall!” The deputy meowed, one of her green eyes twitching madly. Squirrelflight’s voice sounded husky and Blossomfall could see the dark circles under her eyes. Did she pull another all nighter? Blossomfall thought worriedly. I did see her pass by the den before, how long has she been up? Squirrelflight had the habit of staying up and finishing work for days on end, like the dedicated mouse-brain she was. She should really get Rosepetal to help more often, I know she wouldn’t mind it a bit.

“Hi Squirrelflight!” Dovewing meowed, breaking Blossomfall’s flow of thoughts. The gray warrior opened her maw to speak again, but then paused and was silent for a moment.

“Are you alright? Not to overstep your boundaries, but you look like you could use a good sleep.” Dovewing eyed the ginger she-cat worriedly.

“Hm, what? Oh I’m fine, just kinda-.” Squirrelflight was cut off by her jaws stretching wide in a huge yawn.

Right, and hedgehogs fly!

Blossomfall stepped towards Squirrelflight before Dovewing could meow comfortingly again.

“You should go rest, seriously.You clearly need it. A half dead deputy is no good for the clan.” And no good for yourself, you fur-brain.

“I’m fine.” the deputy grunted again, quite unconvincingly.

“I just need to … get these patrols sorted and count how much prey we’ll need for the next season. I have to take into account any kits that will be born or cats that will move into the elders den, multiply by two then-“ Squirrelflight was cut off by another yawn. She frowned and then narrowed her eyes, as if daring one of the younger cats to chastise her for it.

“Your working so hard already, why don’t you let someone else take care of it? Once you’ve had a good sleep than you can go back to your duties. If you keep up like this you’ll die!” Dovewing mewed, her voice rising with worry.

Squirrelflight raised an eyebrow. “I appreciate your concern Dovewing, but I believe you’re exaggerating. I am simply trying to be responsible.”

Dovewing looked at her for a moment and her lip quivered, but Blossomfall spoke first again. Oh StarClan, sorry!

“Squirrelflight, if you keep stretching yourself thin you’ll just end up getting less work done. Once your fully rested and recovered, you’ll be able to work more efficiently. Plus, the more tired you are the more like Rosepetal is going to be circling your position like a snake before a strike, and we both know how persistent that cat can be.”

They both turned to look at Rosepetal who was trailing after a terrified looking Bramblestar. The ThunderClan leader kept trying to quickly slip into his den but the dark cream warrior blocked him, her eyes pleading. She’s totally asking for more duties she could take on! What a leader’s pet! Blossomfall though, twitching her whiskers in amusement at her friend’s antics. She turned back to Squirrelflight and raised an eyebrow.

Squirrelflight looked thoughtful and slightly entertained, but still appeared like she wanted to keep arguing. Before Blossomfall could list another set of reasons why the deputy should get some damn sleep, Dovewing stepped foward blinked at Squirrelflight pleadingly.

If she looked at me like that I’d do anything she wanted, Blossomfall thought despite herself. Squirrelflight held her ground for a heartbeat, but then let out a defeated sign

“Hmph, well alright. I did promise Leafpool I’d hang out with her for a while in the medicine den. I’ll tell Bramblestar I’m talking a couple hours off.” Squirrelflight murmured, almost to herself. “If you see anyone heading out, tell them to report to Rosepetal. She’ll look over my list and write down when any cats come back with prey. She knows what to do.”

Rosepetal sure does! Blossomfall thought with a sniff. Glancing over at her friend again, the dark cream warrior was calling out for Bramblestar who had barricaded himself in his den with his nest. She could hear his faint, muffled cries for her to go away, but Rosepetal kept babbling on.

Tail-chaser! Blossomfall thought fondly. Rosepetal sure was … a cat. She was always eager to help her former mentor with her duties, much to to Squirrelflight’s chagrin. But Blossomfall knew that the ginger she-cat must appreciate her former apprentice’s help if she trusted her enough to tend to her checklist. Rosepetal seemed like the cat most likely to become deputy after Bramblestar kicked the bucket, which probably wasn’t for a long, long time. But it didn’t stop Rosepetal from fantasizing, Blossomfall knew, flashbacking to the several hundred times Rosepetal had stared longingly at the High Ledge or doodled in the dirt with a claw, drawings of ‘Rosestar The Most Epic and Wonderful Leader of ThunderClan.’

Blossomfall snapped back to reality just as the real grumpy deputy turned to leave, but then Squirrelflight swiveled her head back towards them.

“Did you need anything else? I don’t suppose you just wanted to check up on little old me?” she meowed dryly.

Blossomfall opened her jaws to speak but then turned to Dovewing. I cut her off before.

Dovewing blinked gratefully at her and turned back towards the deputy.

“Me and Blossomfall wanted to ask if we could go on a hunting patrol together.” Dovewing mewed softly. Blossomfall subconsciously leaned closer to the she-cat.

Squirrelflight twitched her whiskers for a second and then turned to stare directly into Blossomfall’s eyes making her jump in surprise.

What?

Squirrelflight had this funny look on her face, and she seemed more attentive than she had been just a moment ago.

Finally, she nodded and sniffed.

“Yeah sure, go ahead.”

She got up to her paws, and with one last sidelong glance at Blossomfall she turned and trotted in the direction of the leader’s den.

“Hey! Hey! Rosepetal! Leave Bramblestar alone; I’ve got a job for you.”

Blossomfall watched as Rosepetal dropped the stick she was using to break apart Bramblestar’s barricade. Rosepetal bounced excitedly on her paws as Squirrelflight began to talk, her grumpy meows too far away to be heard.

Blossomfall was still feeling quite disturbed at the interaction that had just taken place.

First my friends and sister, now the deputy? Weird!! What did I even do? Dovewing did you see that?

Blossomfall turned to look at Dovewing and stopped before she could say anything. The soft-furred she-cat was watching the deputy talk to Rosepetal. Her ears were angled towards them and her green eyes shimmered. It took all of Blossomfall’s will power to not think “ooo sparkly” again.

Dovewing then turned and smiled sweetly at Blossomfall, catching her off guard. Blossomfall’s face flushed and she sheepishly looked away.

Dovewing’s didn’t seem to mind, and she bumped against Blossomfall’s side happily.

“We did it! We got Squirrelflight to do the impossible and go to sleep! Well, partly but still!! Plus, we get to hunt alone together!” Alone. Together. “Or well, together I guess! No border patrols for us today!” Dovewing chirped.

“Come on, where do you want to go? I was thinking near the abandoned Twoleg nest or The Sky Oak. Though probably the Twoleg place would be better, I saw a nest of squirrels near there a few days ago.”

Blossomfall nodded along, trying to form cohesive, understandable thoughts, but her brain just felt like mouse dust.

The Twoleg nest. Let’s go there, I’ll be able to get some moss for Briarlight and on the way home maybe we’ll catch Bumblestripe running away after setting fire to half of WindClan for a bony rabbit. Also why did Squirrelflight give me that look? Was I supposed to do something? My friends and Briar too. What thing am I doing that they think is hysterical? Ah, I guess I’ll ask them all when we get back later. Cats can’t give me weird looks then not explain themselves, hmmph!

Finally feeling like she wasn’t a stumbling kit, Blossomfall spoke.

“I think we should go to the Twoleg nest. I’m in the mood for chasing squirrels, plus then I can get some moss for Briar. And maybe then we can go to the Sky Oak! We’ll get a good view to watch Bumblestripe run from all of WindClan.” she joked.

Dovewing nodded and giggled.

“I’d like to see that! Well kinda, except for the WindClan gets mad at us part.”

Blossomfall chortled and rolled her eyes. Should I have done that? Ack I cannot figure anything out, Blossomfall fussed.

But Dovewing’s eyes still shone and she tilted her head towards the camp exit. Blossomfall followed her through the bramble tunnel, very aware of the small space between their pelts. The light dimmed as they passed through. Before Blossomfall was completely inside the tunnel, she caught a glimpse of Thornclaw murmuring something in Birchfall’s ear. Both cats looked extremely amused and Blossomfall could see Ivypool and Mousewhisker standing next to them. Toad-heads and thistle thorns, have they all gotten bees in their brains?

Blossomfall was extremely tempted to stomp right up to them and ask what in StarClan’s name was going on, but she felt Dovewing’s tail brush her side, and she fell back. I guess I still have the end of the day to yell at them. Blossomfall turned her back and retreated into the tunnel.

All Blossomfall could hear was her own heavy pawsteps and Dovewing’s graceful ones. Feeling heated all of a sudden, Blossomfall quickened her pace. She burst out of the dark tunnel and Blossomfall took in a deep breath. Cool forest air swarmed her lungs and she sighed.

Dovewing raised her head, just as a gust of wind blew, ruffling her fur and causing her to sneeze.

“Just my luck!” Dovewing mrrowed, her gray fur now slightly ruffled. She still looks perfect- OKAY STOP. Blossomfall reprimanded herself. Where are these thoughts even coming from? Hello? Blossomfall thought helplessly.

“I can uh-help you groom your fur after we hunt if you want,” Blossomfall heard herself say, much to her horror. Go back, stop! Blossomfall hissed in her head.

But you want that don’t you? A voice whispered in the back of her mind. That’s why you’re offering.

Dovewing’s eyes softened and Blossomfall felt her venomous thoughts wash away like rain. “I’d like that.” She murmured softly, her green eyes meeting Blossomfall’s own. Blossomfall felt rooted in place, suddenly aware of her heart pounding madly in her chest. After a few heartbeats, Dovewing licked her chest fur and motioned for her to follow.

Blossomfall followed, feeling light-headed.

Did she just agree? She wants me to help groom her fur! Well, I guess that’s not so special, anyone could do that but… Whatever, it’s fine, it’s fine.

But her mind kept buzzing with thoughts, even as the pair reached the abandoned Twoleg nest. The soft grass under her paws was joined by weeds and twigs, becoming higher in quantity as she got closer and closer to the nest.

The place looked almost weirdly beautiful, with its chunks of claw marked wood scattered about and some sort of hard red material outlining the outside, forming it into a sort of square shape. Blossomfall and Dovewing stood at its entrance. Blossomfall could see her eyes darting around, taking in the sights. Abandoned rows of clumpy moss lay inside the frame, signs that there had once been cats staying there many moons ago. A tiny tree with drooping branches sat at the far back of the den, it seemed to be hundreds of years old, probably even older than Purdy! Okay, you did not have to call him out like that!

Some tiny yellow and red flowers were growing around the protruding roots of the tree, though they looked shriveled and malnourished. Despite that, a small patch of vital catmint was growing a few pawsteps away, tiny green shoots peeking shyly out of the stretch of rich dirt. It had been grown after the first outbreak of sickness in ThunderClan. It had happened when Blossomfall was only a tiny kit. Blossomfall had only faint memories of her mother and sister, Millie and Briarlight, being taken away to stay here after they had caught green-cough. Firestar had isolated all the sick cats, including himself, in this place. Twolegs had abandoned it many seasons ago for unknown reasons. Creepy, though I’d rather live here than in those cramped housefolk nests kittypets call home.

Pausing to sniff the air, Dovewing looked around.

“I smell the squirrels!” She whispered excitedly. Blossomfall nodded, starting to feel the rush of prey hunting thrum through her. We should flush them out before they eat the catmint!

Dovewing tilted her head towards the drooping tree. Two brown shapes were scuttling about at the base of the trunk. The two squirrels had their bushy tails kinked over their backs and were sniffing about, presumably looking for acorns. The two she-cats instinctively got into a hunting crouch, lowering themselves to the forest floor. Dovewing angled her ears, signaling for Blossomfall to go around the right side of the nest.

“I‘ll go around the left.” Dovewing whispered, quietly padding towards the other edge. Blossomfall nodded and focused her attention back to the squeaking rodents. We’re going to attack them from both sides! Blossomfall thought enthusiastically. Like a team!

Slowly, Blossomfall crept around the right side of the nest, careful not to step on crunchy twigs and strange Twoleg debris. Finally, she came into view of the squirrels. They were still chattering and picking at the ground, unaware of the two warriors creeping up on them. Blossomfall spotted Dovewing across from her, the she-cat

was ducking behind a splintered log. The warrior was bent low, so close to the ground that her belly fur brushed it. Dovewing’s eyes met her’s. She twitched her tail tip ever so slightly, now aware of Blossomfall’s presence. Blossomfall flicked her tail in response, energy fizzing through her pelt.

Dovewing beamed and then let out a hiss. She bounded foward and snatched one of the squirrels right off the ground. She clamped her jaws around its neck with a tiny crack. The other squirrel shrieked in alarm and headed for the tree, but the route was blocked by Dovewing. It turned and fled in the direction of Blossomfall’s waiting claws. She sprung, rolling the squirrel beneath her paws and nipping it’s neck swiftly. It fell limp, and she picked it up proudly.

Thought the hunt was over, Blossomfall felt a thrill run through her and she bounced on her paws like an overeager kit. Dovewing padded over her, the squirrel in her jaws slightly muffling her purr of amusement.

“I see yourf pleased wif our cathches?” Dovewing meowed, her mouth full of squirrel fur.

“Yes I am pleased wif it!” Blossomfall replied, her confidence boosted by their successful hunt.

Dovewing purred again, dropping her squirrel to the floor. Blossomfall did the same, nudging their catches together to be inspected. The squirrels were plump from eating well all greenleaf, their pelts smooth and well groomed. Even a squirrel can keep itself tidier than me, Blossomfall’s mind grumped, bitterly amused. Whatever, squirrels don’t have Dove-Bumblestripe to help them. She pushed the thought away. They were lucky to find such well-fed prey, soon it would be leaf-fall and pickings would start to get slim.

“Squirrelflight will be pleased!” Dovewing meowed, her eyes glowing warmly. “I bet she’s never seen a juicier squirrel than these two!” Blossomfall purred and nodded.

“We make quite the team. That leap you did was incredible! You scooped up that squirrel before it could even squeak!” Blossomfall complimented, blinking fondly at the gray she-cat. Oh, I hope I don’t sound too suck up-ish.

Dovewing shuffled her paws, looking bashful.

“Thanks Blossomfall, that means a lot. I really liked your catch too! That roll and nip move you did was really cool, you should show it to me sometime!” Dovewing mewed, raising her tail to rest it on Blossomfall’s shoulder.

Blossomfall felt herself grin and she nodded.

“I’d be happy to teach you.” Blossomfall meowed, ducking her head. Dovewing mrrowed and bumped Blossomfall’s shoulder with her muzzle again. Blossomfall felt a rush of fondness for the smoky gray cat, but she quickly regained her composure.

“I’d love that! Maybe in a few sunrises?” Dovewing asked peering at her hopefully. Blossomfall brightened and dipped her head.

“Sure, I’ll be prepared then.”

Dovewing’s chortled happily and turned to sniff at their prey again.

“Now let’s bury these squirrels and catch something else, ooo maybe a chaffinch! Or a jay! I told Jayfeather I’d bring him one.”

“A chaffinch?” Blossomfall pretended to not know what she meant.

“No, a jay, you feather-head!” Dovewing purred, playing along. She scraped a pawful of dirt and leaves over top their squirrels, and Blossomfall quickly followed suit.

“A jay for Jayfeather, how original.” Blossomfall meowed teasingly, wrinkling her nose.

“Birds and bird names are very cool!” Dovewing protested with a purr. “I am an unbiased source.” The smoky gray she-cat puffed out her chest and kinked her tail over her back.

Blossomfall rolled her eyes and sniffed.

“Yeah right!”

Dovewing purred as they finished burying their kills in the dirt. Blossomfall patted the top, making sure their catches were snug in the ground. Dovewing flicked her tail and Blossomfall followed. The pair continued their walk in comfortable silence.

Blossomfall gently rolled her two robins and mouse into the hole she had dug. Dovewing nudged her vole and blackbird into the ground as well.

“These are a good haul!” Blossomfall purred, pride warming her belly. Dovewing nodded in agreement. “Squirrelflight and the others will be impressed! Seven whole pieces of prey, and it’s just the two of us!” Dovewing’s tail twitched with excitement.

“No jay for Jayfeather though, oh the humanity!” Dovewing sighed dramatically. Blossomfall stifled a purr.

“You can just give him your squirrel! I bet he won’t be complaining when he’s eating that juicy bit!”

Dovewing grinned. “I guess your right! No one can resist a squirrel, not even Mr. I Hate Everything!”

Blossomfall watched her bounce on her paws, feeling warm despite the sunlight being blocked by the tree branches they were under. Who could resist that face?

They were sitting at the base of the Sky Oak, its wooden limbs looming over their heads like giant claws.

“Come on Dovewing, I said we would watch Bumblestripe’s demise from up here remember?”

“Oh yea!” Dovewing’s eyes shone with amusement.

Blossomfall turned towards the tree. She crouched and then gave a mighty leap. Landing with a thud on one of the low hanging branches she turned to look at Dovewing.

“Come on little legs!” Blossomfall teased with a wave of her tail.

Dovewing was watching, her eyes sparkling and own fluffy gray tail quivering. Blossomfall looked behind herself. Do I have a leaf on my face or something? Maybe she’s looking at me, a tiny hopeful voice in her brain purred. Do I look at her like that?

Before Blossomfall dwelled on the thought for too long, Dovewing jumped up the bark to stand next to her.

“Let’s go!” She whispered, whisking her tail away as she leapt to another branch above. Blossomfall scrambled to her paws and charged up after her.

They leapt from branch to branch, Dovewing’s leaps swift and graceful while Blossomfall’s paws thwacked painfully against the tree. Ow, OW OW. Blasted tree! Blossomfall felt very much like Jayfeather in temperament right now. Normally I’m fine at climbing trees, but... Blossomfall’s grumping trailed off as she glanced over at Dovewing. The she-cat was perched on a very large, sturdy branch a few bounds away. It wasn’t the highest branch, but it would provide a good vantage point to look out at the forest.

Blossomfall scratched at the bark again. I swear, how have I not ripped out all my claws by now? Dovewing must have heard her scuffling, because she looked down at Blossomfall with concern. The tortoiseshell felt her fury melt. She clambered up the last few branches and settled beside her companion, panting from all the effort. Dovewing’s gazed softened and she gently rested her tail on Blossomfall’s flank. Blossomfall was about to gasp a ‘thanks’, but Dovewing spoke first.

“I see you’ve gotten quite the workout out of this!” Dovewing trilled, her voice full of amusement. “I thought I was the little legs here!”

Blossomfall hissed but there was no malice in her tone. She crouched down on the wood beneath her, gasping for breath. After a heartbeat, she recovered and retorted.

“You might have little legs but your head is the size of a boulder!” Blossomfall wheezed, thumping her chest with a paw.

Dovewing giggled and leaned over to help prop her up. When Blossomfall was sitting upright again, Dovewing stepped back, satisfied.

“I don’t see what you mean, I am the perfect specimen!” Dovewing said in mock offense, curling her tail up like a squirrel’s.

“You sure are.”

Blossomfall’s heart stopped as she realized she had said the words out loud and not just in her head.

WHAT HAVE I DONE.

Dovewing turned to look at her, her eyes not longer playful but… something else.

Blossomfall felt like she was going to faint. Climbing up the tree felt like nothing compared to how much anger at herself she felt right now.

“I-Uhm I’m kidding haha!” Blossomfall meowed, trying to sound playful but deep down knew she knew Dovewing wouldn’t buy it.

Foxdung eating, toad-spawned ,mouse-hearted, rotten crow-food licking, slippery, fish-furred fool! Blossomfall swore nonsensically in her mind, trying to think of all the cuss words she knew. This wasn’t really helping, but it gave her something to think about other than this currently embarrassing encounter.

“Do you have something to say to me Blossomfall?” Dovewing asked, her eyes shining mysteriously.

Blossomfall’s mouth tried to say something in response but nothing came out.

Dovewing suddenly let out a long sigh. “Oh Blossomfall, really? Do I have to do this myself?”

Blossomfall’s belly flipped over as she tried to process Dovewing’s words.

“What are you talking about?” Blossomfall asked, desperately trying to keep the rising panic out of her voice. Have I upset her? the tortoiseshell wondered, all her hopes being crushed like dried up leaves.

Dovewing turned to her, her green gaze searching. She didn’t break eye contact as she stepped towards her. Blossomfall urged her paws to move out of the way, but she stayed frozen in place, as if her paws were a part of the branch itself. Dovewing stopped, her muzzle only a whisker away from Blossomfall’s own. Blossomfall’s mind was doing flips and somersaults as Blossomfall’s facade began to implode.

“Blossomfall, you know you don’t hide your facial expressions very well right?” Dovewing meowed, her voice cutting through Blossomfall’s terror like a razor sharp claw. Blossomfall’s mind went blank, completely silent, no panicky thoughts, no snappy inner monologue to be had. Without warning, it suddenly screeched to life again, Blossomfall’s head the equivalent of claws scraping on a boulder.

“I-Wh-What?” was all Blossomfall’s managed to hiss out, barely being able to string together two words.

Dovewing stared at her for a heart beat and then finally touched her nose to Blossomfall’s. Blossomfall was having some sort of system error, her mouth agape and her brain failing to recover.

“You want this. You want me.” Dovewing meowed finally, her eyes lighting up.

Blossomfall still hadn’t managed to slam her mouth shut, her trembling body didn’t seem to be responding to her frantic messages to turn tail and run.

“I want you too.” Dovewing’s gentle mew filled Blossomfall’s mind, seeming to clear it for a split second.

She does like you, she does want you, your were right, you were right, you were right! a voice in the back of her mind trilled, ringing in her head like a bell.

“Hey! Blossomfall! Stop freaking out, look at me.” Dovewing snapped suddenly. “Don’t get lost in your head. Come back to me.”

Blossomfall forced herself to look at Dovewing, the world seeming to blur around them.

Dovewing smiled, leaning into Blossomfall even more to place a paw on her shoulder. She put the other under Blossomfall’s chin to tip her head slightly. She was now sitting on her haunches, her small frame brushing Blossomfall’s bigger one.

Blossomfall wondered if it was possible to drop dead in shock. Every hair on Blossomfall’s pelt burned, very aware of Dovewing’s paws brushing her head and shoulder.

Say it back, say it! You want her don’t you?

Blossomfall growled at her own hesistance. You’ve been pining for the whole day and now you can’t even say three little words? Instead of answering herself, Blossomfall glanced to the side. She could just run away. She could slide down the trunk and rip out all her claws, and pick up their catches, and then run all the way back to camp. It wouldn’t take much to nudge Dovewing off and scramble down and out of here forever. She could even go back to sleep or go find Bumblestripe, or yell at her friends until she was blue, or find Rosepetal and explore that badger den and pretend like nothing ever happened. She could turn tail and run, away from Dovewing, away from her scrambled brain and inner turmoil. She would never have to face the intimacy she so craved but was also terrified of. It would be easy. But, then there would be no Dovewing. No Dovewing.

I want Dovewing.

That weird- no, sentimental thought was the thing that tipped Blossomfall’s brain over, finally making her open her maw to speak.

“Blossomfall?”

Blossomfall felt Dovewing stroke her shoulder. Blossomfall’s belly did a flip flop but she didn’t mind. If Dovewing wants me like I want her, I must be doing something right. I’m good enough.

“Hey.” Blossomfall murmured quietly. Dovewing looked worried.

“Are you alright?, You got trapped inside your mind aga-“

Dovewing’s mew was cut off as Blossomfall wrapped her paws around her shoulders, squeezing her tightly into a hug. Dovewing jerked in surprise for a second, but then she leaned into the embrace, her purrs ringing in Blossomfall’s ears.

“I love you.” Blossomfall meowed curtly, burying her face into Dovewing’s soft fur. Dovewing’s tail curled around her back, as she purred even louder.

“Who are you and what have you done with Blossomfall?” she teased.

Blossomfall mumbled something incoherent and moved her tail to twine it with Dovewing’s.

Dovewing rubbed her cheek against Blossomfall’s face with a mew.

“I love you too, you feather-head.” She murmured and Blossomfall felt warm, fuzzy feelings blossom (yeah I know!) in her chest.

Blossomfall purred, loud and strong, squeezing Dovewing- Dove, even tighter. Dovewing snorted and gently batted at her ears.

“If you keep crushing me there’s not gonna be a me left for you to crush in the future!”

Blossomfall chuffed and released her grip. She rubbed her head alongside Dovewing’s chin, relishing as she heard Dovewing purr once more.

This must be why my friends were dying as we left camp! They could tell how we felt about each other! Those idiots! Briarlight too! But she felt no real anger towards them, just warmth and slight amusement. I guess Squirrelflight could see it as well. And I here I thought she was half-dead! Those mouse-brains!

Blossomfall felt her face get warm as Dovewing licked her cheek, snapping her once again back to reality. Ok, gotta stop get lost in my head, Focus on her.

“Would you mind if I moved my nest permanently next to yours?” Dovewing meowed suddenly shy, even after confronting Blossomfall head on.

Blossomfall purred and nodded, brushing her muzzle against one of Dovewing’s fluffy ears.

“I’d be honored.”

Blossomfall snugly rested her head on top of Dovewing’s own soft gray one and the pair continued to twine their tails. They looked on, Bumblestripe forgotten, as the sun began to dip beneath the trees, turning the sky a tiny smidge of pink.

———————————————————————

*explodes into one million pieces and dies* I hope you stayed until The end and if you did thank you I love you 😭💖 here’s a cookie I’m sorry you had to suffer though that/lh 🍪 anyways I hope u liked it!! I tried to characterize everyone in an enjoyable way and make it funny and a silly happy lovey dovey read!! Some guys might be ooc and the timeline might be weird and there’s probably a million other mistakes but i hope u liked it anyways bc I poured my heart into this thing 💔(ALSO WHEN BLOSSOMFALL SAYS INTIMACY SHE MEANS CLOSENESS LIKE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP NOT THE OTHER THING OK THERES TWO DEFS OF THE WORD KWJKWW SHAKING CRYING)

I haven’t finished a fic in so long so it might read weird but yea woo I got my brainrot in a perceivable form </3

Would you read more stuff like this Idk, tell me what u think!! Specific comments on my stuff help fuel my motivation 💪 oki bye I am gonna sleep for a whole day HAHA just kidding why would I take a break why would I-

[whataboutmyfries]

Ok so idk if your taking requests at the time but if so could you maybe do a Finn-centric fic? Preferably after they got together cus my poor heart can only take so much it’s just cus I see a lot of fics revolving around le/lo and even tho I love them there really isn’t enough fics about my boy finn or maybe there are and I just read them all like 3 times lol anyways could it be hurt/comforty but if you can’t really write that or it’s not your style you can chose the genre I’m just projecting 😄

ANON!!!!! this request has been sitting in my inbox for so long and I am extremely ashamed. I love writing Finn so much but I quite simply couldn't come up with anything until one random day, inspiration hit and my brain spit this out. It's fairly longer than what I ususally write and it is *completely* unbeta-ed but I hope you like it nevertheless!

All credits to @lumosinlove for her wonderful wonderful characters (and HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZ!!! i hope you have the best day <3)

title is from a song of the same name by Florence+the machine

***

All this (and heaven too)

~

Finn sighed dramatically, using his fingers to pull the dripping cloth from the warm water he’d drowned it in. 

“Lo, sweetheart, you’ve got to stop doing this.” 

Lo glared up at Finn through his lashes, the effect completely offset by the way he’d wrapped his arms and legs around Finn from his spot on the counter. “Stop doing what?” 

Finn huffed a tired laugh, leaning forward to gently rest his head against Logan’s shoulder. 

“Lo.” 

“I know, I know. But Harz, the way he ploughed right into Nutty? I couldn’t just…..let him go.” 

Finn pulled back, carefully running his free hand through Logan’s hair. He’d seen the hit. He knew exactly how Logan had felt. The striker had slammed into Leo at full speed, knocking him right into the net, the both of them sprawling over the ice. 

Finn’s heart had stopped right in his damn chest. 

He’d gone straight for Leo, skating faster than he’d thought he could. Logan on the other hand….

Logan had gone straight for the striker. 

Before Finn could even process what had happened, Logan was on the guy, gloves on the ice and teeth bared, a look of pure rage on his handsome face.  He’d swung so fast, the other man hadn’t even had a chance to block it. One thing had led to another, and the last thing Finn could remember was the spray of blood when the guy had gotten in a particularly good hit. Loops had pulled them apart, shoving the striker for good measure. 

It was all sort of hazy after that. 

Finn had walked into the PT’s room to find Lolo sitting there with a purple cheekbone and blood dripping down his lip that just didn't seem to be stopping. He’d damn near died for the second time that evening. Logan had smiled weakly at him, grimacing when the movement pulled at his split lip. Finn winced in return, feeling the phantom throb of hurt echo on his own mouth. He glanced around the room, making sure they were alone, before he moved to stand between Logan’s legs, gently cupping his face between his palms. 

“Lolo, sweetheart? You okay?” 

Logan grimaced a little, shooting a quick look at the door before wrapping his arms around Finn’s waist. He sighed, the sound releasing a heavy weight from his shoulders

“I’m fine, how’s Leo?” 

“Don’t ‘I’m Fine’ me; and Leo’s okay…a little bruised and shaken up, but he’s okay”

Logan met Finn’s gaze with fire in his eyes 

“I’m going to kill him.’ 

Finn huffed a little laugh, running his fingers through Logan’s hair, rubbing soothing circled into his scalp with blunt nails. 

“Darling, you play for the NHL. We can’t afford a scandal like that.” 

Logan leaned back into Finn’s shoulder, the fabric of Finn’s shirt muffling his voice. “We’re rich. We can bury him.” 

Finn leaned down to press a kiss to the mop of hair on his collarbone, humming against the curls as he said. “Damn right we could. Don’t you go thinking you’re doing it without me though.” 

“Deal. If we go down, we go down together.” 

“What, And leave me to bail your sorry asses out of jail? No thanks.” 

Finn turned to find Leo leaning against the door frame, carrying three duffels, as he smiled softly at them. “Ready to go home, mes amis?” 

“Leo,” Finn breathed, the tension in his body melting away at the sight of his sweetheart standing in front of him. It took him all of two strides to be standing in front of Leo, carefully pulling him down for a hug. 

“Oh sweetheart, you okay?” 

“Just a little bruised, Lexie said I should be good in a few days if I ice it.” 

Finn choked back tears, kissing Leo’s forehead instead of replying. Leo had hummed, leaning into the warmth of Finn’s body, letting his boyfriend grab their duffels before looking over at Logan. 

“With all the blood you’ve got in your mouth, you’re giving count drac a run for his money.” 

Logan rolled his eyes, huffing affectionately. “Shut up. C’mere.” 

Leo giggled at the grabby hands Logan was making at him, catching his wrists in a gentle grip before pressing a kiss to his fingers. 

“I can’t believe you let him bloody you up like that Lo, what do you even train for then?” 

Logan had gasped. “Hey! I was defending your honour! Why don’t you spar against me sometime and we’ll see how well you do?” 

Leo hummed in response, leaning into Logan’s embrace. “Hmmmm, I’d much prefer to come watch you spar to see my boyfriend all hot and sweaty rather than have him knock me on my ass.” 

Finn had laughed at that, leaning against the door frame as he hefted the three duffels higher on his shoulder, ignoring the twinge of pain that shot down his neck and back. He felt some of the tension melt out of his muscles as he saw his boyfriends laughing, teasing, safe. He hadn’t realised just how worried he’d been until he’d seen them both together, both relatively alright. 

He raised a hand to rub at the headache forming at his temple, sucking in a sharp breath at the soreness in his muscles. 

“Ready to go home, boys?” 

Leo and Logan turned, Leo carefully helping Logan off the bed. Logan smiled, wincing at the split in his lip. 

“I have got to stop doing that, merde.” 

Leo laughed, tousling Logan’s hair. Finn’s heart melted at the sight. He switched off the lights, smiling into the darkness as he shut the door behind him. 

“C’mon boys, let's get you home.” 

~

Finn blinked back the pain from his eyelids as he finished cleaning up Logan’s lip, leaning in to press a feather-light kiss to the wound. 

“There, all done.” 

“We still on for homicide later?”

Finn laughed, the motion immediately sending a spike of pain through his head and neck. 

“Only if you promise to be good Tremz.”

Logan hummed, leaning forward to wrap his arms and legs around Finn, pulling him in close. 

“For you Harz? Anything.”

“Mmmm” Finn hummed, his lips brushing Logan’s before he gave in to the impossible temptation, capturing Logan’s lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. 

Logan’s smile was a small, secret thing, pressed against the warmth of Finn’s mouth as he slipped his hand under Finn’s sweater. 

Pulling away seemed like a herculean task. 

“As much as I wish I could do this forever, I did promise our boyfriend I’d bring him ice for his ribs. 

Logan huffed in faux annoyance, lightly pinching Finn’s side before untangling their limbs. 

“Go on then O’Hara. Only cause you promised.” 

Finn dropped one last kiss on Logan’s forehead before heading to the kitchen. He grabbed the ice packs for Leo, surveying the kitchen before he switched off the lights. 

He found Leo sprawled face-down in their bed, his face snuggled into Finn’s pillow. Finn giggled a little when he spotted his mickey mouse boxers peeking out from under Leo’s faded t-shirt. 

He snapped the waistband gently as he climbed into bed, pushing Leo’s hair out of his face to kiss his cheek. 

“Hey sunshine, I got you that ice I promised.” 

“Mph.” 

“Need help?” 

Leo nodded in response, turning on his side to let Finn get to the bruise splashed across his ribcage, already turning purple. 

Finn’s heart was in his throat. He traced trembling fingers across the colours of pain splashed across his darling. If only he’d blocked the guy, or skated faster or body checked him or—

“Hey, shortcake, I’m okay.” 

Finn met Leo’s eyes. 

“I love you. I’m fine.” 

He swallowed against the tears that threatened and let Leo pull him into a hug. And just for a second he let himself feel the fear he’d pushed to the back of his mind when he’d seen the hit. 

“I love you too knutty. I love you so much.” 

Leo smiled. “I know.” 

Finn placed the ice pack on his boyfriend’s ribs, watching his face for any sign of pain and discomfort; relaxing minutely when he saw none. 

“Sleep, darling. Logan’s on his way.”

“What about you?” 

“I’ll be back in a bit, I need a drink after all that.” 

Leo rolled his eyes at the cheap joke as Finn grabbed his water bottle on the way out, winking at Leo over his shoulder when he shut the door behind him. 

He heard Logan join Leo; the bed creaking a little as Logan climbed in. It hit him then how much he’d drowned in this feeling, the feeling of being safe, loved, home. He found love in all the little things, his life now steeped in reverence and adoration. He felt it in the cup of coffee Leo handed him every morning, a kiss to go with it; in the way Logan coaxed the pain out of his shoulders on bad days, soothing him with his honey-sweet voice; in the way his sweethearts held him in the ethereal hours of night. 

He leaned against the kitchen counter, letting his emotions wash over him, leaving him heavy and shaky at the knees. He let all the feelings he’d shoved away through the day hit him all at once, and let the tears slip down his cheeks, in the cover of the darkness he finally let himself feel. 

He hadn’t realised when he’d made his way to the balcony, but the icy bite of the wind pulled him back into his own body. Finn breathed in the crisp air in wet gasps, the sobs tearing out of his throat with a vengeance. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been out there, didn’t know when he’d collapsed to the floor until warm arms wrapped around his waist, a warm face pressing into his neck. 

“Hush, Finn, I’ve got you. I’ve got you amour. I’ve got you.” 

Finn tangled his fingers with Logan’s where they rested in his stomach. Gripping tight, holding onto safety. He felt someone’s legs slot between his, warm hands coming to cup his face. 

“It’s okay cheri, we’re here. It’s okay. You’re okay.” 

Finn let Leo’s voice wrap around him, calming his gasping breaths until he was sniffling into Leo’s shoulder, Leo’s finger’s holding Finn’s hand to his chest, letting Finn ground himself to the steady thump of Leo’s heart under his palm.

Finn registered Leo’s fingers stroking through his hair, Leo’s deep voice rumbling gentle nothings in his ear and pulled himself back to his body. He was here. He was real. He was home. 

Leo pulled away, just enough to meet Finn’s gaze. 

“You said you’d come back to bed sweetheart.” 

Finn wiped his eyes. “I know, I know, I’m sor—” 

Leo pressed two fingers to his lips, effectively stopping Finn mid-sentence. 

“Nothing to be sorry for Fishy, don’t you apologise” 

Logan hummed in agreement behind him. “You take such good care of us Harz, let us take care of you for once.” 

Finn let out a shaky sigh. He nodded, the movement impeded by Leo’s t-shirt. 

Before he knew it, Logan had an arm around his waist and under his legs and had picked him up like he weighed no more than a doll, Finn just wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, letting himself sink into the warmth and love of his partners. 

He reached behind him to tangle his fingers with Leo’s squeezing gently. 

“I love you. Thank you for getting me.” 

“We love you right back Finnegan, so so much.” 

Leo squeezed his fingers thrice, winking at him over Logan’s shoulder and Finn’s heart swelled in his chest. He let the fuzzy feeling spread through his body, warming him right down to his bones. 

He was here; he was loved; he was home.