#anyways i sleep again now I got things to do and I got things to write and I got ocs to draw for a a thingy I'm writing
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#sleep token#sleep token vessel#okay that is it with the hands today....the pics that I posted earlier are stills from that clip#the goosebumps :)#idk if I am going to be here tonight btw....I've been up since 2 am#I woke up and was so awake that I could not go back to sleep so I got up....chances are that I am going to fall asleep#at 7 pm or something like that...I assume they play at 9 pm again so...well XD#anyway....going to do things now and have my baby niece over today so won't be here much#vessel hands
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It hurts to feel, to think, to know I may be nothing
(a kind of fix-it for 8x06)
The knocking on his door is insistent, almost angry.
Tommy looks at the alarm clock next to his bed. The glowing digits, the only and quite pale light in the room, show 2:45 am. Who would knock on his door at this hour? There's this little tiny heart stumble that gives him a name in response, which he immediately suppresses. Tommy, who is lying on his bed fully dressed and can't sleep anyway, just hopes it's not him. Not … Buck. He couldn't bear that, not now. No pleading from those Bambi eyes, no broken voice with a stutter worse than ever. He wouldn't be able to look at the man and think of him as detached as he had called him when he left, he wouldn't be able to see anything other than Evan, and that would be wrong. Tommy weighed this thought back and forth in his head, trying to make it somehow more correct.
The knocking is still energetic, it just won't stop. Tommy sighs. He considers just lying there, playing dead and staring at the ceiling until whoever is at the door leaves. But if it's Evan, if it really is him, then he can be trusted to knock all night. Or to try to break down the door. Although... No, he wouldn't do that. Unless he was drunk. Tommy remembers the story of when the Bachelor party got out of hand and a door was kicked in. His thoughts go round in circles, and he sighs again. It sounds theatrical in his empty bedroom, but that's the way it is. He slowly gets up, swings his legs out of bed and shuffles to the door.
This little stab in his heart, which is not relief but disappointment, is pathetic. It’s not Evan, of course not.
It’s Eddie.
Definitely, the first thing Evan would do is go to Eddie. Then, probably in the early morning, to Bobby. Or to his sister. Heck, he’ll see all his friends because he can; and that thought somehow hurts even more. Tommy isn't afraid that Evan will make him look like a bad guy. He has every right to grieve and seek comfort. It's just that he can. From whom does Tommy find comfort?
In any case, Eddie, who looks a little disheveled and a little drunk with his red cheeks, doesn't exactly appear like someone who wants to console him.
“Have you checked the time?” Tommy asks gruffly.
“I did, but have you checked your brain?”
Eddie taps him on the forehead with two fingers, then pushes past him without being asked, casually dropping onto the couch in the living room.
“This isn't the best time, Eddie,” Tommy says wearily. Yes, he is tired, even if he can't sleep.
“Might be. But that's what this is all about, isn't it?”
That hurts, and Tommy feels anger building behind his forehead, which will be a decent headache in a few hours. Unshed tears, that's how Abby used to call it. Abby, with whom everything began and somehow everything ended. All the shame and anger about himself make Tommy's muscles tense.
“Don't think you’d understand.”
Tommy stands there with his arms crossed, defensive, as he has been all his life, but Eddie is not impressed. Of course not, why would he. Eddie has told him stories of Afghanistan and the dirt he's been through. One man’s defensive attitude hardly impresses him.
“Why not?”
“Because you've never been in that situation, quite simply.”
“Oh, so you want to use my non-existent queer experience against me, do you? Shallow.”
Tommy lets out a long breath and growls, “What exactly do you want, Eddie?”
“I want to know why.”
A simple sentence, a simple statement, but Tommy feels like he's been deflated. He searches for words, but they are hard to find.
“Listen,” he finally says, ”I know you're here as E… as Buck’s friend. That’s sweet, but…”
“That's true,” Eddie replies surprisingly soberly, ”but I'm also here as your friend. Sometimes we need our people to tell us we're being silly.”
Of course, he speaks from experience. That's kind of the point, and now it's bursting out of Tommy.
“I managed well on my own for years,” he says, the words tumbling out of his mouth. “I've been through it all, the self-denial, the shame, the half-hearted relationships. Evan will never have to experience that, and I'm grateful for that. But still... this guy just stumbled into my life, no, rather rolled through it like a steamroller.”
"He broke your barriers," Eddie interrupts him.
Tommy gives him a look. Eddie actually understands. Why is he so surprised? Tommy doesn't give away his friendship lightly, and Eddie is more profound than he pretends to be. Or even than his friends sometimes think. Which, by the way, is also true of Evan, which is where he starts chasing his own tail, right?
“He did. And he comes with a lot of luggage.”
“Oh yes,” Eddie laughs. Then, he narrows his eyes, watching Tommy intently. “Wait, you don’t mean his past and all?”
Tommy drops into the armchair opposite the sofa and shakes his head.
“We... actually didn't really talk much about the past. It was more like...”
“The heat of the moment?”
Tommy doesn’t have to ponder about that, because it’s true. Every new relationship is like this, everything is exciting and full of icing. You don't use the time you have with questions. They didn't have much time, that's the curse of shift work and a life as a first responder.
“Suddenly, half a year has passed,” he says with wonder. “And then he says he wants to move in with me.”
“Were you afraid of the next step?”
The way Eddie phrases this question tells him that Evan hasn't fully understood what happened. He's sorry for that, but he's sorry for so much, it's just more grief on top of a big pile of sorrow.
“I'm just afraid of losing my heart,” Tommy returns, and strangely enough, Eddie laughs again.
“Do you think that's funny?”
Eddie raises his hands defensively, “What I actually find funny is that you lost your heart a long time ago, Tommy. You left the man standing outside the restaurant and gave him a second chance anyway. You’re the first contact in his phone. You're the one with the ice packs, the one who buried his stupid curse with him.”
“You would have done all that too.”
“Sure, except for the part about the funeral maybe, but only because Buck and I are on terms where you can tell your friend that he's being stupid. You, on the other hand... you have heart eyes when you see him. You stroke his hand in passing, you hold back on the kisses when anybody is around only to protect him.”
“You noticed that?”
“I noticed a few things,” says Eddie. “Especially that Buck feels the same way about you. There comes a point in every relationship when you take off your rose-tinted glasses. The only mistake you've made is convincing yourself that this will end anyway.”
“But it will,” Tommy replies dispassionately.
“Because you're his first? That's stupid, Tommy.”
“What would you know about it?” Tommy replies heatedly.
Eddie tilts his head, “Didn't you listen when I told you about Shannon? I married my first love. I know what you're thinking, of course, it didn't end well, yada yada. But it wasn't because we didn't love each other, Tommy. We were very young and very stupid, and it hurts me to see two grown men like you, who also love each other very much, behaving so stupidly.”
Tommy sinks down in his chair.
“He acts impulsively,” he interjects. “He doesn't know what he's getting himself into, and in the end, when he understands that he needs more, he'll leave. And that will hurt a lot more.”
“Maybe,” Eddie says and stands up. As unasked as he came in, he steps up to Tommy's fridge and rummages through it for a can of beer. Then he points it at Tommy and says, “But not having loved will hurt more. Being too much of a coward hurts.”
“I'm not a coward.”
“Yes, you are, because you're running away from your own feelings. And not even giving Buck the chance to prove to you that he's worth brightening up your lonely life.”
“Now you sound like a guy in a soap opera,” Tommy says sourly.
“Nah, I sound like someone who has screwed up so much in his life that he should be the last person to give advice to others. But this is Buck we're talking about, and he's just a whining misery sleeping on my couch. And it’s about you, a friend I’m fond of.”
He takes a deep sip and grimaces.
“I think you've had enough for today,” says Tommy.
“Guess you're right.”
Eddie gets up, and to his credit, it has to be noted that he doesn't sway. Or just a little bit.
“Let me summarize the whole mess like this: you fucked up, Buck doesn't understand why, and honestly I don't quite get it either. But what I do understand is that you should work it out together. Tomorrow morning… no wait, in a couple of hours. Sleep, then come over, and bring breakfast.”
“I don't know if that's such a good idea.”
The worst part is that there is a certain hopefulness in Tommy's voice, it almost cracks. Evan hasn't done anything wrong, and it's probably only right that he at least tells him that. Even if it hurts. Because Eddie is actually right - it will hurt no matter what, and it's better to love than to grieve over a love that could never evolve.
“But I do.”
There is so much confidence in Eddie's voice. Something has happened to him, and one day Tommy will ask him about it. Now he holds on to his own door and nods weakly.
“Let me sleep on it,” he says.
Eddie winks at him as he leaves.
#writing#fanfiction#sort of a fix-it#911 fanfiction#911 8x06 fix it#BuckTommy#tevan#kinley#Tommy Kinard#Evan Buckley#buck x tommy#Eddie Diaz
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Can I please request Belphegor, Asmodeus and Lucifer with a fem reader that is insecure about her small boobs? I really loved the other one with the first four kings!! ❤❤
Sure thing anon! Thank you for waiting (it's about time I start these requests anyways ;.;)
Belphegor
When it comes to having small boobs, you'll never have to worry about this king saying anything about it. He's far too busy planting his face in your chest and sleeping to even notice. Sure, you may say an occasional comment when he's reading his usual romance novels where the protag might have huge boobs, or he's watching a show with you and some lady walks across the screen with tig ol' biddies. He'll notice you staring down at your chest and turning to the side and perhaps sighing about your size and he'll come over flop on your lap, wrap his hands around them and tell you to "Stop worryin' about it" so much. Easier said than done, but remember, he doesn't like to repeat himself. If he says he loves your boobs, he loves them. Even if he has to occasionally remind you.
Asmodeus
He's not even sure why you're insecure about your boobs. He's been suckin' on them for days now. He has so many pictures he's taken of them in his phone to jack off to, he has a folder labeled with your name. He keeps mentioning how cute you'd look with nipple rings and if you don't want them, he'll put fake jewelry on them anyway so when you bounce on top he can see it. In a bra? He loves them. Without a bra? He loves them. Under a shirt? He wishes you'd take them out. But wait, your boobs aren't as big as-shhhhhhhhhhh he doesn't care he likes all boobs, especially yours. You wanna know how to make them bigger? if he got you pregnant and they swelled with milk. But in all seriousness...he wants them in his mouth right now and he will leave so many lovebites and kisses, you'll be reminded just how much he adores your boobs regardless of the size.
Lucifer
He of course will tell you very straightforwardly that small boobs can still provide enough nourishment for a child if you chose to have one. (wait did he just get done talking with Asmo? /j) Over the course human life, larger boobs did have an appeal for many reasons, but those reasons do not apply to devils nor angels. Lucifer is quite fine with your boob size, enough to where he says you could go topless if you wanted just so he can prove how attractive you are with no matter size. He could even create a miracle where they'll be slightly larger for a day, and there would be no change in anyone's attitude toward you. Of course, you would decline that, but Lucifer is just trying to make a point. And if anyone has anything to say about your boobs, he'll make it to where they never speak again. And he's quite serious about that. By the way, it's time for your daily massage. Topless this time. *wink*
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thinking about someones hc about killer being taught royal etiquette by chara and that it would match nightmares vision of himself as a “king”and huge ego
so my take is that dream and mare themselves know the etiquette very well too. idk if its canon or not, i missed out on so much and the last time i actually did research on the authors blogs was 3 years ago…💀 if not consider it my hc
so what i was saying is that mare since he sees himself as a royal (+ i like to think that in dreamtale there was a royalty setting, a kingdom, and him and dream knew royal etiquette since childhood) he still unconsciously acts like some sort of prince, being polite and shit even when he doesnt mean too (as soon as hes calm. if hes mad he wouldnt gaf and would just kick yo ass). he says things like “please go there” “could you get that”, he would talk in that strange manner and at firts ppl around him would always think about how edgy he is😭 mare the edgelord pls save me
he would eat in his mannered way, would make sure everything around him is clean and in order. ofc he has killer or “the gang” to clean but he himself always keeps things he has got his hands on clean. his bed (if he actually sleeps) is always made, he never leaves a mess (unless hes mad and dgaf, again. but afterwards he would get someone to clean or do it himself anyways).
and about his clothing. i despise his “corrupted” design (his clothes i mean), and the fact that dream seems to be jokus “favorite child”, like she never actually worked on nms design in the first place (while dream has two. wohoo). why tf would he dress as sans? to blend in with other sanses so they would blame his shit on the aus sans literally wtf and how would they not notice that their “sans” is covered in this black goop he has. so, i usually draw/portray him in different attire. like i just said, since he got that royal attitude, he would at least dress the way it would match? i used just to draw him wearing a topcoat (?) instead of a hoodie, but now as im older and ig smarter, and also into jfashion, i can see him wearing something something similiar to “aristocrat”, or just something more… decent? not casual, this guy is not casual in any way, why would he wear a hoodie and slippers. something like shirts (all buttoned up), vests, etc. as for young mare/dream, i like to imagine them wearing ouji fashion, but their original designs are also fine i guess
#dreamtale#nightmare sans#dream sans#killer sans#kinda#utmv#headcanon#finally yapping#i hate the way joku treats nightmare#and the way she has written him#i ignore like 70% of canon dreamtale atp#excuse my english its not perfect
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Alternate ending where SQH presses the return home button after yelling at MBJ + I somehow turned it into a slightly happier ending(this was supposed to end with SQH being alone till he dies)(bro never moves on)
but in this oneshot, he becomes a part of the Shen family.
Mobei-Jun mourning SQH’s body… imagine…
The moment he presses on the button, he felt his heart sink with the glow surrounding him.
He was going back to his body, which was equivalent to dying. Turning to his icy surroundings, light snow falling onto the tip of his fingers, his knees unbuckle as he fell to the floor.
“I—“
—
He regrets it, he really does. He shoud have just stayed in the other world. There, at least he knows how to escape the life he had, he knows people who would care about him even if he had run away (at least, he hoped so?)
here, there was no one. His parents didn’t care about him, they’d already moved on with new families in their lives. They hadn’t even bat an eye when they found out his body was a coma.
Shang Qinghua shivered in his hospital bed, tears slipping down his cheeks, he couldn’t even let out a sound.
It was cold. It was empty. His arms were bandaged heavily, they’d told him that he had severe burns because of the fact that there was hot water when it happened.
He couldn’t write; Proud Immortal Demon Way had already ended. He… just really…lacked the motivation to ever write again. Without his most passionate fan, without his king or his martial siblings… it’s unbearable. Losing the trust of everyone he knew was heart breaking enough, but they— they had forgiven him for his final moments.
They’d let him back into the sect—! Liu Qingge had grinned at him, after all that. Mu Qingfang allowed him to nap in the medical room whenever things got too hectic—heck! Yue Qingyuan visited his peak for friendly conversation and tea!
Shang Qinghua had given all of that up, and for what???
He didn’t know any more….
Haaa…. His anxiety and fear had gotten the best of him.
There was no Cucumber bro to critique his 3000+ chapter novel, there were no ice kings to force him to stop working in the middle of the night because of his health.
It was just him. Just Luo Meihua. The useless idiot.
A mistake he made, and he will never ever be able to see his family again.
Shen Qingqiu was right, Shang Qinghua was an idiot.
—
“Hey..” A quiet feminine voice pulls him out from the grasp of sleep, his heavy eyes open wearily as he tries to focus on the new figure. It wasn’t one of those nurses. The girl was wearing a very blue casual outfit, blue sweater, blue jeans, and even a blue purse.
….?
He squinted. Did he know her..??
He knew this wasn’t one of his half siblings, they were much younger than he was. “Hh….” He tried hard to say something, but a year of unuse made it hard to say the right words.
“It’s okay! Uhm, you don’t need to speak! I’m sure you’re wondering who I am?”
Shang Qinghua nodded minutely.
“My name is Shen Yang. Do you remember the story you wrote?”
He grimaced, giving her a pained look, he knew by now how shitty it was, please don’t make him talk about it??? I mean, there was some good parts but if he could, he wouldn’t have made A Ding as the sole logistics peak!!!
Wait.. “Shen..?”
She laughs slightly, mistaking his question for something else, “Mm, my brother was Peerless Cucumber, he went into a coma like you did, one year ago. If you knew him, anyway. He hated your novel.”
No wonder she looked familiar—!
But.. huh…? How did she know he was in a coma? How did she know he was here.
He tried to convey that to her with his raised eyebrow.
“We… uhm. Originally, we wanted to personally talk to you, since… we found A—Yuan’s notes in his computer. It was more critiques about the novel,” Shang Qinghua stifled a fond laugh, Ahh, Cucumber bro… “…and so… we found out you were in a coma, just like my brother.”
—
Shen Family: finds out Airplane is in a coma and they visit him once
Shen Yang is also a volunteer at the hospital, just so she can visit Shen Yuan more often. So occasionally, she watches Airplane’s coma body, wondering what kind of person he was to write PIDW
sometimes she writes and reads it out to Shen Yuan because she knows he loved stories, even if they sucked
When Airplane wakes up and they both realise he has no home anymore,
(“Your parents..?”
Shang Qinghua shook his head and laughed bitterly, “it’s not like they visited me at all.”)
So she persuades her parents to let him stay at the house (they refuse at first, like, airplane’s a stranger, and they’re still mourning Shen Yuan)
But eventually, they pittied him and allowed him to stay.
(“I promise I’ll pay you back, thank you so much for your kindness!!!”)
After all his trauma, he becomes the quiet kid, no silly rambles, and without any system forcing him on any missions, he becomes so so antsy, so he just takes on a lot of responsibilities and becomes sick and is super miserable until Shen Family takes an intervention
Eventually they get attached to SQH and help him get therapy. And it doesn’t actually help much, he couldn’t talk about his transmigration trauma at all
BUT he admits the little things, like his parents’ emotional neglect and accidentally mentions something like “I’m used to getting beat up. I’m used to everyone pushing their work onto me.”
Which is concerning in modern society,, like,,, why is he used to getting beat up 3 times a day
Bro just really hates himself
But one day, maybe after a few long months, the light in his eyes return and he gets into a rant again and Shen Yang just remembers his brother, Shen Yuan, and sees him in SQH and
man
Shen Yang shares stories about his brother to SQH
(“He sucked at sewing.” )
( “Shut up, Airplane… Sewing is harder than it looks.” Shen Qingqiu glared at him.)
#shang qinghua#svsss#svsss au#i haven’t read the entire svsss#svsss fanfiction#my post#Shang Qinghua returns home and doesn’t die#he realises he made a mistake and suffers for it#especially with the consequences of being electrocuted#hahaha what if shen yuan’s family found out airplane had woken up from his coma and decided to reach out#Shen family adopts SQH au#the epitome of self indulgence#don’t worry I’ll write the mourning scene/j#dialogue heavy#because it’s hard to describe stuff#does this even make sense???
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Gonna have to reject your offer of He/ It cheif. Managment (Logan) would kill you for even inferring the idea.
Other people would come along and be like "What is that thing!??"
And you would just see Logan shift instantly from "Yeah ill give you a can of beans and a place to rest" to "Get the fuck off my property before you become his dinner" all while Wade is just... sitting there... behaving??
"He's not a THING! Thats my husband you asshole! And if you don't like it then fuck off!" Followed by Gabby going "Thats my papa you jerk!"
"It's just a zombie? You're married to a sombie!?"
"Again- HES my husband. I said till death do us part except death really isnt his thing so im stuck with him. You got a problem with that!?"
It makes Wade always very happy to be defended even though he surely could do it himself. For the most part things are pretty tame.
But he DOES clap a bit when logan mentions feeding him. 'Ooh yay, I get fed multiple times today' kind of way since Logan is very strict about resources, Wades is not allowed to just eat whatever because he'd probably just eat everything.
Sometimes if Logan forgets to feed him, He'll come to Logan and give him this specific whine, like a dog begging for bacon scraps only for Logan to feel terrible. "Oh my god Im sorry we were so busy today and- ... You're starving and you're not trying to bite me... you're trying so hard.. aw fuck wade.. im so sorry.. what am I going to do with you?"
"Mmm.... rawhrah?"
"Right. Feed you before you go insane. Got it."
Some days are like this. When he's clearly much more human. Being permitted cuddles and nuzzles, to play with gabby and to sleep in the bed. It's very rare that Logan lets him sleep in the bed. But it's the happiest day for wade when he is. And its not like they can even do anything (bro lost his dick miles ago and has no clue where the fuck it went but it just fell off somewhere and now hes a ken doll. This is great for those of you who like transfem wade COUGH COUGH)
But even if it didn't fall off its not like they could do anything anyway, They can't even kiss on the lips anymore. Logan has a theory that it's similar to rabies, where the infection has to be spread through saliva into an open cut or your mouth, etc.
So the nights he's allowed, they honestly just cuddle and stare at each other for a bit before sleeping. Usually, Wade is the little spoon because having Wade behind him is dangerous.
Wade heavily sees affection as a reward now, so getting to hug the girls is a massive thing for him, getting to sit there and watch gabby draw him is a big thing, hell Logan will sometimes even let Gabby play with wade out front because Wade has whole ass attacked other zombies whos tried to hurt gabby before.
One time Laura shot him in the head because gabby thought it would be a good idea to play "pretend zombie" and Wade didnt put two and two togerher that acting 'feral' as Logan calls it, outside with gabby would be a bad idea.
"What the fuck did you do that for!?"
"He was feral and going after gabs!!"
"Nu uh!! We were playing and you killed him for no reason! Youre so mean!"
Logan just sighs as gabby runs to her bed because it upsets her greatly when they have to 'keep wade in check' she fully understands that hes dangerous but deep down thats still her papa and watching your big sissy kill your papa is not something most 13 year olds would enjoy.
".. L.. you gotta stop wasting ammo. You know if it was really a code red that wouldn't do anything anyway. You have to decapitate him if you even want a flying chance. See?? Hes already up again... hi sweetie..."
Wade, whos sat up and now giving them a confused look of 'what did I do? 🥺'
"...arr Arawh"
"Im sorry, wade.." Laura squeaks out, still holding the shot gun. Shes just terrified of loosing gabby is all. To her, gabs is her responsibility.
"Rah awr rahrrr..."
"I know. She's sorry. She's just.. scared. No more playing that okay?"
"Mmh..😔"
There is infact some drift between laura and wade but neither of them mean it. Really they dont. If gabs is put of the picture Laura still smiles and talks to him but its like the moment gabby is near him Laura goes full protection mode and over reacts.
And FOR THE RECORD i have never seen the walking dead but its terrifying how accurate that picture is.
The longest Wade has been unconscious is probably 18 hours but this was before getting to the girls.
They have witnessed the exact thing you're saying, though. With Wade tied down in the shed, on his leash, and handcuffed, trying to talk to him, yelling at him to snap out of it because he's scaring the girls. Something different about feral wade from the other zombies though is it seems he's smarter, knawing on his handcuffs while most will just flail their arms helplessly. While his teeth dont do shit to the cuffs, its scary for Logan because it makes him think that one day he might actually have to find a way to kill him permanently.
He can undo locks, open cans, do many things that the others cant and he wants to believe its just Wades human part being stronger because in some weird way hes half mutant human and half zombie. A weird combo that makes him much different.
Laura, unlike gabby, too is terrified of one day wade going feral while their father is out collecting more supplies or hunting and she wont know what to do.
Wade isnt fast though. Thats the ONLY good thing. Hes smart, cant die, and is starving to death all the time. But hes slow. Infact he dosn't heal properly. His leg is half broken still from the last time it fell off and seems to barely be receptive to his brains nerves telling it to move so he lowkey drags it, only being able to use it to stand up right and take very small steps.
When he DOES finally come back hours later, He cries. Apologizes, begs for forgiveness, and most times is actually SCARED of Logan. While he hates it emotionally, he knows that logically it was a good thing for Wade to flinch away from him after being locked up.
A scared and fed zombie is a well-behaved zombie...
And before anyone comes here to say this is dehumanization of what ever else- HES LITERALLY NOT HUMAN ANYMORE.
Case closed. Besides I think wade would worry more about the fact of him trying to kill his kids then the fact hes leashed to a wall.
I dont CARE that it's November 9th and "Halloweens over" ITS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH ILL POST IF I WANT TOO
Anyway.
Thinking about apocolpse au.
Wade getting bitten by a zombie, Logan freaking out, Wade dying, and him coming back (Again)
"Didn't you just die?? I literally fucking burried you!!"
And wades like:
"Of course. Man, God REALLY hates you dosn't he?"
And he's bassically the same person except just saying, "Rahhah har ran re" (translation: I think the devil doesn't want me either)
"What?? Oh for fucks sake... tell me you're kidding.."
"Rah?" 🤔
"Great so now you stink more and you can't talk. Fucking lovely."
"Mmmmh..." 🥺 (would you still love me if I was a zombie?)
"*sighs, blushes and grumbles how insane this is and how much of a bad idea this is* Fine! Come on...."
"Raah!!" 😄
And sometimes his limbs fall off because I think it would be funny if you just saw him stop, turn around, pick up his arm and shove it back into place like a dislocated shoulder. (Marvel Magic)
But its very obvious that Wade is still consious and so logan leads him around, puts a leash on him, ties him up when he goes to sleep the first few nights so wade dosn't eat him, sometimes luring him with a piece of his thigh or telling him he'll feed him soon to make him behave.
The only thing about this resource wise is that it seems Wade is a bottomless pit, not ever able to get enough. It's like all the nutrients just pass right through him, so he can't get fed meals daily, but Logan will share at least one bite of his food. It makes Wade so happy and way more "wade like" than zombie.
Logan has learned that the hungrier Wade gets the worse it would be, snapping at logan a few times.
"Grr-"
"Aye! That's enough outta ya"
"GggRah!"
"Hey!! I said no! Bad! Bad wade!"
"Mmmh??"
"Bad!!"
"Mmh....rahah.."
"I forgive you. But stop trying to bite me. I feed you, don't I? I hold your hand and tell you that I love you?"
Wade is actually extremely friendly for a zombie (duh) and still yaps at logan except its nonsense. Logan tries hard to understand him and talk back.
He holds his hand sometimes, even lays next to him only to scold him if he gets too bitey. This is hard because wade already had a biting issue and seeing as he practically ate anything or anybody now it was more difficult.
"...aahh-"
"Wade- No."
"Ggr.. raahh"
"Wade! No! Bad."
"Mmmh..."
"Ill feed you tomarrow. Don't bite me mkay? You wanna hurt me?"
He shakes his head like a dog shaking off from a bath, or that ate a bee.
"Then don't bite me."
"Mmh? Mrah?"
"No. No kisses right now. Im still not even sure if thats safe.."
"Mmmh...🥺 ahrrah?"
"No, not even a tiny one."
"Mm...😔"
Until Logan grunts and pecks his hand. "There. Happy?"
"🙂↕️mh"
"Good."
Honestly Logan felt bad, pitited him. No matter what food he ate it wasnt enough substance to sustain him and sometimes Logan would wake up to find him eating a different zombie that made the mistake of trying to eat Logan.
You ever wake up in the morning, lose your zombie boyfriend, call for him only to walk outside and see him knawing on some poor chaps arm like a happy puppy who found a chicken leg? Logan has. Many times. And he wishes his phone would charge so he could take a picture of it but unfortunately theres no electricity in the post apocalypse world.
This being said Logan is like- THE perfect guy for apocalypse au because he can smell everything and hear anyone before they even get to you, he has better wilderness survival skills then anyone I know and he'll never NOT have a weapon on him because of his claws. The only downside is that he's tired easily, needs a lot of food, and would lowkey be withdrawing from his tabccao and alchool, therefore very moody.
"Stupid fucking apocalypse having to happen when im fucking alive!! Why can't I just NOT live through ONE major historical event! Is that too fucking much to ask? One damn decade where everything is fine and dandy and- WADE! Get your ass away from that!! It's radioactive!! For fucks sake!"
"Rahahrah?"
"NO!! You can not become Spiderman! That's not how that works!"
"Aawr..😔"
The whole thing is they're on a quest to find Laura and Gabby, because when everything went to shit, they were on a cabin trip and now Logans brain is itching because he dosn't know where his babies are and its driving him insane. Once he finds them, they're gonna shack up somewhere with food and animals to hunt, and hes gonna make a little shed outside for Wade to sleep because he'll kill him if he bites one of the girls.
He dosnt care that much about himself really and he hates himself deep down for not being able to trust wade anymore but even wade dosnt trust wade, sometimes wandering off on purpose, staying about 30 feet away from him at all times, growling and giving Logan that glazed over look of unconsiousness. The only good thing about this, though, is after he removes himself from the idea of hurting Logan (because if logaj were to become infected - HA! Your all fucked. Utterly fucked. The whole humanoid species would go extinct because he'd kill anything that moved) he feels more trusting of him and it's not uncommon for them to hug after either. Afterall Wade- Some how???- is still wade and is very affectionate and sensitive when its not returned.
This whole thing also makes him think worse about himself, kicking reflective objects or staring at himself in a shop window in utter shock and disgust with a face of 'thats me..?' While logans raiding the place for supplies.
Did you know zombies can cry? Well, Wade could. Not a lot, only able to get a bit of liquid from dehydration, but sometimes Logan will catch him just... sitting there.. crying. Upset with himself for being bit. Upset with himself for trying to bite logan all the time. Upset at how ugly he is. Upset that he's starving all the time. Upset that he can't even talk to anyone, and Logan just has to guess what he's saying 90% of the time. Bro is literally
When they DO find Laura and Gabby, the girls are doing great. Laura was going to blow wades head off until Gabby ran in the shot, hugging him instantly, only to be ripped away.
"Of course my dad is the weirdo married to a zombie." Laura grunts, but is secrelty happy that wade is still 'alive'
Gabby, being as young as she is, thinks it's so SICK that her dad is a zombie now, giggling when he talks to her and holding his hand. She's not allowed near him for long, and not at all by herself, but Gabby bassically becomes Wades number one supporter, defending him when he messes up and snaps at laura.
"He's just hungry!! He's not bad! It's not bad to be hungry!" She'll say. "You wouldn't kill me if I was hungry.." she tells her bigger, more survival oriented sister whos suggested putting wade out of his misery, for his own sake. "I tried that... he found me again 3 days later." Logan tells her with a pang in his chest. It had taken everything in him to kill him the first time, and sobbed himself to sleep the next 2 days. By the third when he noticed Wade following him from a distance he couldn't believe it.
Not even the apocalypse could keep them away from each other..
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#wade wilson#deadpool#deadpool 3#deadclaws#wolverine#laura kinney#gabby kinney#zombie au
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hi! I just wanted to know (i am currently starting chapter 10 of jadeite-). Is Zhongli's human form in this new world actually human?? Like has his soul transformed Zhongli Chen's human body into something more? I wonder as I've never seen Zhongli sleep (like he'll go meditate like he did whilde Guizhong was asleep after drinking) or read to learn more (as he did when he first found himself in a new world). Also, what kind of abilities does he still have? (this mlight have been explored in the latest chapters though- amma catch up!!).
Cause currently Zhongli seems to have much more power than did Chen (like Zhongli there is more linked towards the earth and can feel footsteps and stuff but other other things remained?)
right, good question! the body is human, but the soul isn't
that's the ultra short ultra simple version bc i think the answer is kinda long so i'll just put it under the cut
basically what that means is that chen zhongli's body itself hasn't changed. it's as human as all human bodies come, with the obvious exception that he was a damn good thaumaturge. this last bit is important, because power progression in thaumaturgy (at least in the hand-wavy artistic-liberty take of this fic lmao) sort of- shifts gears at a certain level. when they start training, thaumaturges are like the average person, with their spiritual channels undeveloped. as they train, they're trying to do two things: 1st, develop those spiritual channels, and 2nd, accrue spiritual energy for their own energy pool. but spiritual channels have a limit in that you cannot infinitely develop them. they don't grow forever, they eventually cap out, so to speak, at a certain point. kinda like if you were building a waterway, and at a certain point you stop expanding it and reinforcing it, because it's now good enough to sustain any amount of water that will flow through it regardless of quantity
and so once they cap out their spiritual channels development, the rest of their core basic training revolves almost entirely around accruing more energy for their pool. the energetic pool is the one that is functionally infinite, so they can theoretically just keep gathering energy forever. this is what allows some really good thaumaturges to live longer (but not forever. this is explained in the latest chapter so you'll get there).
anyway- the reason any of this is relevant is that chen zhongli was at that point: his spiritual channels were capped out, and he was only working to gather more energy. he was in the home stretch so to speak (which is why he was sort of a prodigy given most thaumaturges don't get there until like- much later in life). so by virtue of having had a body that was essentially perpared to have infinte energy inside of it (but didn't), when zhongli got there with his soul intact and his spiritual energy pool being MASSIVE bc godhood etc; he sort of just fit right in, needing to change nothing about the body itself. all that really happened is that chen zhongli's pool of energy got suddenly filled with zhongli's energy but not really. it's- uh. complicated? idk if it would count as a spoiler bc given the latest chapter i feel like most of you can probably guess there's something going on here? anyway- just know zhongli's energy is in that body, it's just sort of... detached. since he's technically a foreign soul, his energy is sort of confined to his soul; but since his soul is in the body, it, for the most part, works exactly the same way it would if it was his own body. god idk if that makes sense- like i said, it's complicated. for those who read the latest chapter, what this means is that zhongli's energetic pool hasn't integrated with the body itself, so it hasn't turned it into a spiritual vessel (which would've happened if it had integrated itself, bc his pool is, again, massive, and therefore meets the requirements for it) anyway,
chen zhongli's soul is gone. regardless of where it actually is, zhongli is the only soul in that body – as he mentions at the start of the fic, since he's a geo being at his core, he can't exactly fit inside a body with another soul in it. kinda like... his soul is too big, so the body has to be empty for him to fit.
the reason zhongli hasn't been sleeping is because he doesn't need to. i think this was mentioned in another ask and also in one of the fic's end notes tho i can't recall which chapter; but basically, with enough spiritual energy, thaumaturges can make their bodies subsist entirely off of it. so while yes chen zhongli would've needed to sleep bc while powerful he still didn't have enough energy to bypass it; zhongli doesn't. zhongli has more than enough energy to keep the body in tiptop shape with his own energy alone. you can think of it like plugging your phone to charge. other thaumaturges don't have access to a charging chord at all times, so they have to plug in (sleep) to recharge. but zhongli works off of solar energy so he's always at full battery if that makes any sense. like he just has infinite battery, so he never needs to plug in. though i guess the analogy only makes sense if zhongli is a solar panel addon to the normal phone that is chen zhongli's body- but i think you get the idea LMAO
as for abilities that he still retains, they're all sort of tied to his nature as a dragon, like sensing intent in food. i'm pretty sure this hasn't really been properly explained outside of- since geo as an energy doesn't really exist, there are some geo abilities that he's lost (like the sensing ability). but not all of them. the issue here is that he was a being OF geo, so some 'geo' abilities are innate to him one way or the other, like commanding rocks and metals and other stuff, but not literally creating rocks. the sensing ability being lost is more a byproduct of the tectonic plates being different honestly. and obviously he's lost his ability to transform so
anyway uhhhhh TL;DR: zhongli didn't change chen zhongli's body bc the body was trained enough to sustain any amount of energy inhabiting it, so zhongli fit right in – since he's also technically still a foreign entity, his energy hasn't fully combined with the body, so he has left it intact. he doesn't sleep because his absurd amounts of energy allow him to sustain the body entirely off of them, and while he's lost some abilities tied to the other teyvat and him having had a non-human body before, he has retained some of them that were based off of his soul.
#there's more to some of these things than that but that would be actual spoilers so that's pretty much it#i hope all of this made sense LMAO#anyway#thank you <3 <3#ily <3
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I have been CHILLING this week post-Vengeance saga release! I managed to avoid debilitating stress and anxiety from the onslaught of fan stuff by simply avoiding all social media for the first two days, so it's been good!
However, I am now BACK, dumping my immediate reaction of the saga from a week ago. I thought I was ready. I was not ready. 600 Strike blew my mind. I was left staring blankly at my ceiling. Jorge please rest sometime, I'm begging you. The amount of talent beaming through my screen is exhausting even me.
Also, to every cast member and collaborator and behind the scenes person: y'all are amazing. Like seriously. I hope you all get a yummy drink and a cozy blanket and just. Bask in the satisfaction of a job well done. Hats off to y'all fr.
Anyways! I keysmashed the following at around midnight, 14 hours before the livestream ('cause australia is the superior timezone /j). Be warned there's LOTS of swearing 'cause sleep deprivation + incoherent excitement lol
AHHH IT'S GO TIME
Ok it's starting the same as the Goodspeed festival showed. Tho, the first lead in sound thing reminds me of Lucids.
Gorgeous vocals. Hate Calypso, love Wangui fr
"Let me speak!" She really doesn't care about his feelings huh. I noticed in LIP as well, she always makes it about her, which is absolutely in character.
Those ensemble harmonies tho!!
"... You do?" Girl you literally told him to lie smh
"Why in the world won't you love me too?" 'Cause he has a WIFE
IT'S HERMES TIME
FSA melody? YO??
"Cause I had one goal in mind..." the silence where the crew's chorus would come in is PAINFUL
BAG?? HERMES!!
"Hello old friend!" Grinning so hard rn
"Well it's a little bit ✨dangerous✨" AHHH IT'S HAPPENING
Fingertapping and headbopping to this chorus
"Put your whole braiin in it!" I love how he says that sm
"And lastly the wind bag" NEW STUFF
WINIONS
Wow ok I did not expect the wind bag to show up again. Tho it makes sense; this is probs the storm that Ody told Sirenelope kept blocking the way home
ODY SINGING THE CHORUS!!!!
RUTHLESSNESS MENTION
"Hermes! Thank you" AHHH THE CALLBACK! He sounds so tired and like down to his bones grateful this time 🥺
"I'm not the one who fought for you!" MY EYES WIDENED SO FAR. WE ALMOST GOT AN ATHENA NAMEDROP. I'll settle for the reference to her
Okeee. Charybdis!!
Oooh it's just like in the reference vid. No lyrics for this start part!
The 5/4 is amazing. And the electric guitar!!
God this song is SO BADASS
LETS GOOOO ODY!!!
ahhh I KNEW there'd be some sort of soft KYFC esque "I can't wait to make some new memories" type verse AND I WAS RIGHT
he sees ithaca!! Oh god poseidon's gonna show up isn't he
my heart's beating so fast i'm scared
PENELOPEEE
the ELECTRONIC DISTORTION OH NO IT'S HIM
RIGHT INTO GET IN THE WATER AHHH
"Coward" AHHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE FINALY HEARING THIS FOR REAL
"That's when our paths collide!" THE RASP
"Now get in the water" Oh shiiiit here we go
the choir is so eerie
"GET IN THE WATER" THE GROWL
"aren't you tired poseidon" ooh it's this part!!
ha he changed it to ten years instead of eight like the demo had XD
"maybe you can learn to forgive" the line from that one snippet!
"No" oop
"DIE" DAMN that deep echo!!
*underwater sounds* oh shit ody's fucking dying
NO! FUCKING POLITES
EURY
ANTICLEA
FUCK YOU JORGE
THE CREW
WAITING??? EXCUSE ME WTF
AHHHHHH WHY TF DOES JAY LOVE HURTING US SO
HUH? HUH??? WHAT WAS THAT! AND THERE'S A FUCKING AD. Probs good, I need the break but WAHT. I KNEW he'd do another fucking polites reference gods damnit jorge WHEN I CATCH YOU
Ok time to hear 600 strike. Holy shit we're here
ELECTRIC GUITAR LETS GOOO
Aeolus theme. IS HE GONNA OPEN THE WIND BAG AGAIN??
600 MEN MOTIF HOLY SHIT
ANIME SCREAM
HOly shit there's magic sounds happening. I'm really curious about whatever Jorge's cooking up for the animatic in the livestream, 'cause I have no clue what's happening rn 👀
"For every comrade!" FSA melody!
"all those _ who were slaughtered by your hand" hmm I can't quite hear what he's saying there?
wait wait wait he's ACTUALLY using the power of his 600 men!!
"You idiot" damn lol
DIFFERENT BEAST ODY HOLY SHIT
is that a blade sound effect?
WAIT DID HE JUST STAB HIM WITH HIS OWN TRIDENT
HOLY SHIT ODY
HOLY FUCK
POP OFF ODY
OMG "MONSTER" AND THEN "RUTHLESSNESS"
BRO HE'S BEGGING??
*trident drops* hot damn ody
"Next to my wife." OHHHHHHH MIC DROP
Holy FUCK that was crazy
I'm gonna listen to it again.
Ok but holy shit Odysseus literally just tortured a god until he gave in?? Daym ody
Tho I like how he tries using open arms first, and then ruthlessness. He's kinda found a balance? I say kinda, 'cause he went hard on the ruthlessness, but since he sincerely tried to ask Poseidon to just drop the whole thing already, his later actions in 600 Strike feel more warranted.
I honestly don't know how Jorge keeps doing it. He just keeps topping himself! Like! Thunder Bringer? And then God Games?? And now Six Hundred Strike??? They just keep getting better! Banger after banger, like!! How.
Wait I just wanna. Sit with it. Imma lie down and stare at the ceiling for a bit, aight?
... I am shooketh.
But BRO THAT WAS INSANE! ODY FUCKED HIM UPPP
AMAZING BRAVO EXTRODINARY INCREDIBLE SHOWSTOPPING GORGEOUS WONDERFUL HOW DARE YOU
#long post#my posts#epic the musical#epic the vengeance saga#immediate reaction#jorge rivera herrans#pay for my therapy
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what kind of underwear do you think Erik and Charles wear (i'm not asking this to see them half naked) ((please believe me)) (((PLEASE)))
My Personal Belief is charles is a briefs guy while erik's a trunks guy. trunks/briefs kinda couple because i can
and idk just a lil bonus or somethin. as i do.
#nsft#probably. again A Promotion Would Be In Order From Me Personally but WHATEVER.#cherik#im too tired to tag everything ok this post'll find its people#snap sketches#not too tired for a tag ramble tho eUUGGHHH#i HAVE to post the second bit now or ill be editing it all night and for what. i will live#and my silly ass said i wouldnt draw that reading idea. well guess what im a LIAR who LIES.#i do wanna revisit that proper tho .. at least draw em by the fireplace someday but anyway#i think the funny thing is i had like. plans to draw charles in purple briefs just cause he wore them once and i chortled Unreasonably#so here we are. youll have to forgive me my friend i have a condition called If I Get An Excuse To Draw I Will#it is a very serious condition cause i need to SLEEEEPP truly and honestly locking in later i HAVE to#leaving all of you with this for the next idk twelve hours thats crazy#all i want to do is draw but i feel my eyes . Getting Weird and i have exams so i guess i should be a responsible person and sleep#i actually have a lot i need to catch up on so like. i prob wont be back on until this weekend when im Hopefully more free#'snap didnt you say that last night' I HAVE TO BE SERIOUS THIS TIME i got a lot. so i will see everyone saturday Hopefully#please give me the strength to focus for once thank you#for now good night everyone !!! please enjoy my doodlings from today. yesterday. i must not make any more for now
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TILL
#alnst#alien stage#alien stage till#alnst till#till alien stage#listen. i am sorry.#anyway do you think about the fact that some people couldn't recognize till in the r6 teaser#do you think itll be harder to recognize him now#anyways um. once again i am sorry#i originally planned more for tills birthday#but some things came up. theres been heavy rains in my area#my room ended up flooding. i am now sleeping on the living room floor#please bear with me#this is all i got.....#lowkey projected onto him here bc. same. this is lowkey how i be feeling#sorry that was so unnecessary eugh.#anyways this is a scheduled post#at 12am this will post so#good morning! happy birthday till!#i DO have more till posts lined up just saving them for a more appropriate time#para.art
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTEST WIDDLE SNAKEY WAKEY.
I can't believe my son is 18!! I estimated a birth date for him to be about a month before I got him in fall of 2006, since he was such a widdle month-old baby sneky. I always try to get a good birthday pic of him - especially after he eats and gets the good yawns in.
Pretty soon, he'll be off to snake college, for snakes. Dunno how we're gonna afford those ssssnudent loans.
Image description below the cut:
First photo is an albino corn snake (species name: Pantherophis guttatus) peeking out from behind a fake flower on a rocky hide (a house inside the tank where reptiles can feel secure and hidden). The snake is flicking his tongue out. Only his head is visible in the photo. Caption on the photo reads: Demo's 18th birthday. August 9, 2024.
Next photo is the same snake, but in a clear, close-up, detail photo. Each scale is clearly defined. He has red eyes and pink cheeks, and pale white patterns on an off-white body. The scales on his head are shaped to follow the different planes of his face. The scales on his neck (and body, not shown) are uniform and scallop-shaped.
The next three photos are sequential. The same snake appears with his mouth barely open. Then, his mouth is wide open in a yawn. His cheeks look so smooshy. His head is shaped the way a snap hairclip opens, curved upwards, and it's funny and cute. His mouth has ridges inside, but no teeth or fangs are visible (because his teeth are too tiny to be photographed politely, and he does not have any fangs). The last photo in the sequence has the snake with his mouth still open, but the top of his head is a normal shape again as he begins to end the yawn.
#snake#snakes#corn snake#snow corn#snek#sneks#snekblr#reptile#reptiles#Pantherophis guttatus#Elaphe guttata#cute#pets#pet birthday#18#tank is bare in the pics bc i ran out of spoons while washing everything#i forgot i have to wash decor outside and it got dark and i didnt wanna get bug bites so i had to...#...do a whole sink of heavy dirty dishes (not mine) AND wash the decor around the thawing meal for him#...and then disinfect the sink ofc bc i was at my limit after only getting the hide and water bowl washed#was gonna do it earlier in the day but ppl were moody downstairs#hes gonna sleep off that meal and sippy sip rn anyway (was already in his hide by the time i refilled my water and went back to my room)#i got a drinking vid but he was facing away from my vantage point and it makes him look like a hognose bc of refraction lol#anyway i gotta get ready for bed myself today was busy and i didnt even finish the one thing i planned to do bc im too tired#Cori.exe#Image.exe#i would do a silly edit like i usually do for demos bday but again i have no spoons rn#hhh added image description and now its almost midnight aa gotta post fast#*now its midnight lmao#ughhh i couldve been ready for bed in the amount of time it takes me to proofread an unacceptable number of times#anxiety is a mf 'what if i misspelled a word' 'what if this phrasing is awkward' mf im the only one that cares shut up
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I actually for real feel like my phone's scanning quality has dropped monumentally while I was away on thing so that's a fun thing to figure out now. anyways
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#answering of ''sure'' whenever they ask ''are you gay'' strikes again#gods. genuinely at least on the export the quality of these dropped like to half. whats up with that#sorry if these are impossible to parse#anyways. scribbled these during ''holiday'' ''vacation'' ''getaway'''#sometimes it really is the simple things. hallucinating vividly about the casual life of a pair of teens to survive being in a car for 6hrs#WITH da family#so glad I picked up scribbling on paper again. I actually got stuff to do digitally today and!! literally it feels so much cleaner#like I feel like I relearned a bunch stuff doing traditional ink again for a sec#but yeah. u guys should know by now how much I think about food as a concept#took 3m off last year to write about it in fact. but now Im just microdosing by drawing langa#I'm also actually so insane about reki being a scaredy cat it's so. something. it means so much to me#this of course means koyomi is a jumpscare champion. among siblings that are close in age there must be#the one who sleeps in the lower bunk. and the one who ties a doll to a string by its neck and lower it down to be next to the others face#'why is that so specific' no further question. thank you#gods okay. I need to lay the fuck down it is now my time. to be in bed#Im onto some real exciting stuff rn! and when this piece is done I'll return to ink for a sec#so uh. ink comm maybe not this week. but the next#happy late labor day! seek and destroy. have a good night
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