#anyways i had to do something like this bc i couldnt stop thinking about that part about the unlucky dice roll and then what follows later

[sluckythewizard]

BUT IM NOT A WRITER. something strange possessed me to write my first proper fanfic in maybe a decade. be niceys to me but also grill me so i can get stronger. this one is a stupidly self indulgent bit between Soda and Emizel, a day or so after emizel was sired. CW for gore descriptions, but thats about it i think. image below is a snippet of the start. the rest of the whole dang thing will be under the cut. ive never posted fanfic ever in my life. read my tags for secret behind da scenes commentary

"Oh shit… I think hes dead…" It was another night, another patrol, another fight, and another win, for Emizel and Soda.

Under moonlight, under street light, under interwoven wires above, the two stood here in a quiet and damp alleyway. The air was drenched with the smell of a previous rain, and the puddles of said storm remain huddled in corners and pot holes.

One splashed as soda found himself stepping forwards into one. The residual adrenaline of the fight had left his body shaking, his heart still pounding, his wounds still throbbing. They had still won; or more-so, Emizel had won. A particularly nasty blow to the side had Soda reduced to the side lines for most of the fight, left to watch as his newly vampiric comrade had absolutely eviscerated the competition.

Emizel had only been turned a day ago, but it was impossible not to notice how it had changed him. He already acted so goddamn confident, so on top of the world, and this newfound power, newfound speed and strength, only built upon his insane ego.

The Fangs that they encountered here on this night stood no fucking chance. Emizel was too quick, too strong, and he easily chased off the rivals. It was only now, as the final unfortunate opponent had turned to flee, a clean clock in the jaw sent the human tumbling to the ground with a dull thump, and it did not move afterward.

Soda shifts his shoe out of the puddle, the cold seeping into his sock being one of the few things keeping his mind in his body in the moment. Is the guy breathing?

A low laugh bleeds from Emizel as he stretches his arms, licking his sharpened teeth as he stares off in the direction the remaining Fangs went. Soda knew that look on his face, the look of a tiger pondering on its next kill, he knew well that Emizel wanted to chase them.

But the guy on the ground.. It was one punch to the face, and the wicked crack sound that came from it had planted a seeding dread within Sodas chest.

As he steps forward, around the puddle, the resulting sound made Emizels attention click back over to Soda, the snap of his gaze making Soda flinch.

The two lock eyes, and Soda weakly gestures to the limp body on the floor. "The uh.. I think.. Is that guy dead?" He finally asks, having a hard time keeping contact with Emizels intensely red eyes.

Emizel turns his attention to said body, tilting his head as he goes to kick at the thing, turning it over. "Man no way hes dead, I punched him once." He mutters.

"Well, yeah, but his head almost twisted all the way around when you did.." Soda steps up to stand beside Emizel, the two boys standing with their hands in their pockets, down at this unfortunate, limp body.

"Should we hide it?" Soda asks, glancing back over at Emizel, who had.. An odd look on his face. He was clearly pondering something, but Soda could only guess whatever was going on in that brilliant head of his. He knew and trusted that Emizel was smart. If anyone could figure out what to do about this, it would be him.

But the lack of an answer had anxiety chewing at the back of Sodas rib cage, and after a second, he speaks up again, compelled to fill what he perceived as a tense silence. "Like.. I dunno, I've never uh... killed a guy..." He shrugs, prompting Emizel to let out a big sigh.

"He's not dead man, just out fuckin cold." Emizel kneels down next to the body, putting an ear up to its chest, and pondering on that for a moment. An uncertainty twists his expression, as he decides to instead place a hand on the victims throat, checking for a pulse. A moment passes, and seemingly finding nothing, he pulls back.

"Uh... Okay, so he might be dead."

Something about the confirmation from Emizel made a shiver run up Sodas spine. That, or maybe it was just the breeze agitating the cold water in his shoe.

"Huh… Damn.." Was all that Soda could really get to leave his mouth. Which was hardly a splash compared to the torrent that was slowly churning in his head. They just killed a guy. Or, Emizel just killed a guy. And it was so easy. They had to hide the body now, right? That was the usual progression here? Getting caught for murder was way more extreme than getting caught for breaking mailboxes with soda cans. It was so, so disturbingly easy. It really was just one punch. It's not like the Fangs are weak by any means, so just one punch? And this guy is dead? Forever?

Or, perhaps by human means, their rivals were fairly tough. But Emizel was on a whole other level. No mortal could stand up to him now...

"Hey, are you okay?"

The question had pulled Soda back from his head, his gaze flicking back over to Emizel, who was looking up at him with those eerie, piercing red eyes. Soda felt another shiver.

"Uh, ieah man, I'm all good." Soda nods, swallowing down whatever anxiety was bubbling up in his throat.

But Emizel didn't seem satisfied by his answer, standing back up and staring down his human comrade. Soda couldn't meet his eyes, his gaze instead traveling downward, and pausing on Emizels red, cut-up shirt. There was something off about the color, the way it seemed darker in some spots, brighter in others.. Wait, wasn't Emizel wearing a white shirt before all this?

The vampire boy seems to pick up on Sodas expression, following his eyes down to his shirt. "Oh, yeah! While you were on the floor, the knife guy got me a little" He says, a stupidly simple smile on his face. Soda was about to let out a laugh at how unbothered his friend seemed by it, but it gets caught in his throat when Emizel goes to pull his shirt up.

The sound of the bloodied fabric peeling away from skin made Sodas own skin crawl, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the sight of the intense gash running from his collar bone, down to his stomach.

"Oh, fuck dude!" Soda gasps, but Emizel laughs it off. Even despite knowing Emizel well, Soda was still surprised by just how much Emizel could shrug off. "Shit, doesn't that hurt, dude?"

"Oh yeah this fucking hurts!" he says with a laugh, his smile big and toothy and proud as he presents this egregious wound. Swollen and angry, pulsing with a slow heartbeat, and still oozing with thick, dark blood.

The sight of the split flesh, and the glints of bone beneath the dark, dark red all tugged at Sodas gag reflex, and yet he couldn't pull his eyes away. So Emizel's just been walking and talking so normally this whole time with his chest just cleaved wide open? Soda felt just as impressed as he felt horrified.

It wasn't until Emizel reaches down to poke at the abhorrent wound that Soda snaps out of it. Watching his friend press his fingers into the bloodied flesh, and slowly pulling it apart, allowing more ichor to seep from the gash, it was too much to watch at this point.

Soda reaches up to put a hand on Emizels wrist, the vampire boy stopping, and looking up at his friend.

Soda found himself freezing again when he locks eyes with Emizel. He was going to say something now, right? "U-uhm.." Is all he really chokes out, giving Emizels wrist a gentle tug. "D-do you. Uh. I suppose a hospital Isn't a place you can go anymore..?"

Emizel just smirks at that, letting Soda pull his hand away from the wound. "Oh, yeah no, but it's fine. I mean, I don't think it's gonna kill me" He shrugs. It was so, so impressive just how unphased Emizel was by all this. Fuck he's actually so cool.

"Well yeah man but it's like, still a bleeding hole. Like you're soaked in blood dude, I'm pretty sure that even a vampire needs that stuff on like, the inside." Soda rubs the back of his head, still unnerved by the sight of it all. "Vampires have like, super healing, don't they?"

"Oh yeah like, regeneration powers. I know I heal faster sometimes but I dunno how to just, activate it on command.." Emizel hums, his eyes narrowing down at his own injury, as if trying to will it into mending. Soda looks away, unable to watch that vile gash ooze any longer.

"I dunno man, how do they do it in like, video games?" Soda tosses the question out, trying to click together some sort of solution in his own head.

"Uhhh.. Huh, video games.." Emizel repeats to himself, chewing on the thought while idly poking at the laceration; until an idea audibly flickers to life in his head. "Oh, I just gotta refill my blood meter. Or whatever."

"Oooh yeah, blood meter!" Soda perks up, "Of course, see this is why you're the brains, man" Soda smiles, glancing back over to his cool friend, but immediately needing to look away again when the sight of that egregious gash tugs bile back into his throat.

While Soda averts his eyes, Emizels eyes wander back over to the body, and that classic 'Emizel has a bad idea' smile creeps across his face.

"Well, if this guys dead, I'm sure he's not gonna need all that blood.." He grins, kneeling down next to the body again.

The word 'wait' had hardly gotten the chance to crawl from Sodas mouth, before Emizel lifts up the arm of the unfortunate body, pulling the sleeve back, and immediately sinking his teeth into the exposed wrist.

The sound and the sight of blood gushing around Emizels teeth made Soda cringe, his hand impulsively coming up to aide his own wrist. An empathetic phantom pain made his wrist ache, his imagination simulating the feeling of shark teeth cutting into skin, sinking deep into the flesh, and clacking against bone. That was a lot of blood, that was streaming down the arm of this fodder.

A low growl bleeds from Emizel as he adjusts his teeth, cutting into more flesh, opening the wound further, and allowing a pulsing torrent of red to stream down his chin, onto his coat. It was an annoying thing, to clean blood out of clothing. Most of the Demons deemed it easier to just let the stains remain. But the night that Emizels throat was torn open, and liters upon liters were granted freedom from his human form, the unbelievable mess had practically changed half the color of Emizels iconic coat.

That was the first time Soda had ever seen that much blood from one person. And well. This would probably be the second.

The sight was unnerving, but it was impossible to look away. The alley was quiet, save for the distant bustle of a distant city, which made the noisy squish and squelch of teeth gnawing on flesh all the more apparent and nauseating.

Emizel had become a monster for sure, and watching it feed on something was… thrilling, in a way. It reminded Soda of feeding a pet spider, or lizard. A mouse for a snake.

It's a heavy thing to witness, the end of a human life. The fear of death is a primal thing, and Soda was no different from any other living thing. He figured everyone else feared death just as much as he does. Well, maybe except for Emizel, of course.

It made sense. Emizel was such a cocky and noisy kind of guy, but hes always had the power to back it up. Even when he lost, or seemed at his lowest, Soda still saw this sort of fire in him, one that Soda admired.

Of course Emizel would be the one to become something like a vampire. Something that Soda had always figured was just a fantasy creature thing. He wondered; if vampires were real, what else was real? Werewolves? Zombies? Unicorns? Are there real demons? Like from hell? Is hell real? Is he going to hell?

The sudden ttteeeeaaaaarrrr of flesh rips soda from his wandering thoughts. Emizel was tugging his head away from the arm of his kill, his teeth clamped down into the chewed meat, and pulling it apart. Soda had seldom seen so much of the inside of a human arm, and the sight of spilling threads and squirming veins was hardly something he ever wanted to stomach again.

"Oh fuck, dude, hey-" Soda steps forward, raising a hand, but the way Emizel snaps his head back over to him, twisting to an unnatural degree, Soda cant help jolting back.

Reddened teeth glint menacingly in the low light, a threatening growl thundering from its clenched, dripping jaws. Emizels eyes were focused, yet wild, glowing with whatever light they could reflect.

Sodas eyes were wide, and his body was frozen in the thick, electric tension within the air. It was like staring down an angry dog.. Suddenly a light bulb in his head flickers to life. It was kind of like an angry dog, right? One hunched over a meal it didn't want to give up. Memories of old encounters and unfortunate dog bites resurface in Sodas head, and with that experience, and with those lessons learned, he gathers the courage to react.

He shuts his eyes, keeping them closed for a few seconds, as he slowly pulls back his arm, and slowly steps back. It was an eye contact thing, wasn't it? Eye contact makes dogs angry, right? That was how you dealt with an angry dog? As he pulls back, and takes in a breath for composure, he finally dares to peek at the angry vampire before him again.

Its snarling had died down, but its eyes were still trained intently on Soda. After a tense, and agonizingly, slow pause... It blinks back, lowering its head back down to its meal, but keeping its anxious stare on this potential threat.

A relieved sigh falls from soda as the tension finally melts. He didnt realize he was holding in so much of his breath. "O-okay, man.. It's yours, you uh.. Earned it.." Soda mutters, stepping back further, until he was standing in a sufficiently dry enough space to sit down in. Now that he wasn't standing, he was finally taking into mind just how much his hands were shaking.

It's odd. Soda couldn't really describe this feeling thrumming in his chest as something like fear.. Nausea? For sure. Disturbed and rattled? Oh absolutely. This was certainly a sight he would have a hard time scrubbing from his eyelids when he sleeps tonight. But he wasn't scared. The memory of the night that Emizel was sired still coated the inside of his mind like an unwashable film. Even in that moment, when the unnatural teeth from the unnatural maw of an unnatural thing hovered over his throat, he couldn't say with confidence that he was scared.

Emizel really is his best friend in the world. And he knows with his whole heart that Emizel feels the same. He knew and trusted that his best friend would never hurt him. Not too badly at least. He loves Emizel, and would give anything to support him.

Like a mouse to a snake.

This really is an incredible power that his comrade had come across, and Soda especially felt a sort of pride in his friend. He felt it was worth it to help him feed it.

The bile in his throat had made its point, and Soda agreed, that watching someone die, and get torn apart and drained might be too much for him. Despite how much he hated the Fangs, the end of any human life seemed like such a jarring thing. To have such an intense fear finally get confronted. Would he go to hell?

Maybe he couldn't just feed people to his friend. So an alternative could be donated blood, right? Soda wouldn't mind giving up something like blood. His body makes it for free, after all. Maybe some other Demons would agree to give up some blood too. But they shouldn't have to take on such a burden. Soda wouldn't mind being the only one. The only one. The only one.

His hand comes up to rub at his neck, as his imagination conjures up what it might feel like to have teeth sink into his flesh. He's been stabbed before, is that sort of what it would feel like? Would he have to get stitches? He didn't really want to get stitches, so maybe there could be a more effective way to get the blood out of him. And there was so much vital stuff in his neck too. There's' a vein that's safe to cut into somewhere, right? He would have to look that up later.

A STARTLING RINGING;

Splits the moment,

Prompting both Soda and Emizel to jolt in shock,

As the phone in Emizels pocket rings away.

Acting as if nothing abnormal had taken place, Emizel pulls out his phone, and answers it.

"Heyy, Johnny! Yeah we chased em off, I don't think those bastards will be infesting this street again anytime soon. Yeah, ieah we'll be heading back soon. Oh fuck yeah dude, save us some!"

Emizel covers the speaker of his Nokia, turning back to Soda with a big smile on his violently bloodied face. "They got some pizza waiting for us back home, dude!" he whispers out to him.

Soda does his best to crack a smile, and to suppress the look of unease that probably stained his face, as he stares at the literal murder scene that's been splattered about in front of him.

"Oh, yeah, hell yeah man.." He swallows down the bile again. "What kind of uh.. Soda did they get?"

Emizel ponders that, before turning back to the phone to ask Sodas question.

"Sprite and a big pack of that one strawberry mountain dew" Emizel tosses the answer back over to Soda, who gives a nod, and thumbs up.

Mountain dew is so neat, Soda really liked all the wacky flavors those guys come up with. The thought of going home and opening a can of soda was certainly a comfort. After witnessing all this blood and gore and viscera, Soda absolutely needed to get back home and get a nice cold glass of something bright red .

As Sodas mind wanders off to soda, Emizel wraps up the conversation on the phone, before hanging up, and standing up.

The movement had pulled Sodas mind back into the moment, enough for him to timidly voice a concern he's had since the start of this debacle.

"Uh, hey, so.. The body, should we… Uh.." He gestures vaguely to it, and Emizel grants it a nonchalant glance.

"Eh, I can toss it into a dumpster or something, I dunno. I'm sure its fine. I'll handle it."

The vampire boy goes to pick up the corpse, the wound in its mangled arm no longer even dripping with blood, the flesh pale from the absolute absence of red in its veins.

"Go ahead and meet me by that one mailbox, the one with the bullet hole in it." Emizel casually instructs, tossing the drained body over his shoulder. "I'll catch up."

"Uh, yeah, okay.." Soda musters up a nod, and the strength to rise back up to his feet, wincing as that bruise on his side makes itself loudly known again. He still felt anxious, but even despite it all, he knew he could trust Emizel to take care of things. He always does. "Just stay safe man, I'll see you there." Soda assures with a smile, and Emizel matches it, tossing him a wink. And then suddenly- -He's gone! If Soda had blinked he would've missed it, but he was fortunate enough to just barely catch the glimpse of Emizel darting off at an inhuman speed, probably looking for a place to dump the body. Right, he would take care of it. Emizel always makes sure his crew is taken care of. Well... Guess all that's left for Soda is for him to walk back to that meeting spot. He looks around the alley for a moment, taking in the sight of that enormous pool of blood in the middle of the concrete. Or whatever the floor of this alley is made from. He ponders on the present moment a little longer than he meant to, the shock of it all leaving him aimless for just a few, soothing moments of just, decompression. The night is quiet, vast, and cold, but the stresses of just the past 5 hours had left his body radiating with fiery aches and pains, so the chill of the occasional clawing breeze was welcomed. Except for when said breeze agitated the cold water still soaked into his sock. He should step in another puddle on his way back to even it out. The smell of rain still rested heavy in the air, heralding another storm on the horizon. There was that, and then, well, there was also the blood. The stench of it felt far too intense to just ignore it, the metallic miasma making itself maliciously unmistakable. Maybe the impending storm will wash this mess away... He looked forward to putting this unfortunate night behind him. With one last rattled, but deep breath, he stuffs his hands in his pockets, and turns away, strolling back over to the mailbox that Emizel had described.

He couldn't wait to get home and drink some soda with his friends.

[cloudcountry]

1.5K FOLLOWER CELEBRATION

SUMMARY: The Octatrio takes you to the ocean, where you explore a shipwreck with them!!

WARNINGS: Jade & Floyd being slightly threatening? They imply that they'll drown you lol sillies.

COMMENTS: i had this in the works for like a week and i really like how it turned out!! (i'm especially fond of the floyd parts hehe) THERES ALSO SOME DEUCE CONTENT BC I COULDNT HELP MYSELF but thats only in the beginning wahhwawah ANYWAYS i hope ygys like this one!!!!!!!! im excited to hear what you all think!!!!!!!!

You slowly unfasten your arms from around Deuce’s waist as the blastcycle skids to a stop. Vehicles in Twisted Wonderland are still incredibly hard to get used to, even though you’ve been here for longer than you want to think about.

“Thanks for the ride.” you lean back, swinging your legs over the side with a smile, “I appreciate it.”

“Ah…no problem.” Deuce replies, eyes darting from the seemingly empty shoreline to you, “Just…if anything happens, call me. Okay?”

You sigh, touched by his concern. Lifting your hand, you extend your pinkie to him. He wraps his pinkie around yours, and when you whisper that you promise, he nods and lets you go.

“Thank you,” Deuce whispers.

It’s nice having people who want to protect you.

He drives off and you wave, even though his back is turned to you and it wouldn’t be safe for him to wave back. Once the roaring engine has faded completely, you turn your attention to the beach. There’s a set of wooden stairs leading down to the bay, and you take them down. The sand feels warm and inviting, and you kick your shoes off without a second thought. It’s odd, your three companions should be here by now, but you don’t question it too much. Those three do what they want when they want to, and there’s no telling what they decided to do today.

You spend a few minutes swiping at the sand, collecting a small pile of pretty shells. It’s a modest collection, nothing to write home about, but the childish act alone fills you with a glee you haven’t felt in quite a long time.

Perhaps Azul was right. A trip to the sea really might be all you need.

“Hello, angelfish.” a familiar voice croons from behind you.

You turn and barely manage to contain your surprise when you see Azul in casual shorts and a shirt. Although it’s plenty warm outside, the mental image you have of him always wears a suit. It’s a nice change.

“Hello, Azul.” you smile, and take the hand he extends to you.

A kiss that burns hotter than the sun is pressed to the back of your hand. Your arms fall back to your side far too soon.

“I do hope you’ll enjoy this little trip I’ve planned.” he muses, turning his attention to the water, “There’s a shipwreck a little ways from here that Floyd and Jade wanted to explore, you see. Bad things happen when I don’t indulge those two.”

Something tells you that you are also part of that indulgence.

“Where are they?” you ask, scanning the wide expanse of golden sand, “I didn’t see them when I arrived.”

“Ah…” Azul winces and shakes his head, pointing a single finger toward the water.

You turn just in time to see two pairs of glowing eyes peeking up from the water. They’re gone in an instant, and if it wasn’t for Azul’s uneasiness you would have thought you imagined it.

“They’re very sneaky, aren’t they?” you murmur.

Azul nods.

You shake your head, mimicking Azul’s earlier actions. Except you decide to take the route the three of them probably wouldn’t expect.

And so you start walking towards the water.

Azul sucks in air through his teeth and grabs your arm as if warning you not to go.

“It’ll be fine.” you turn back to him and pat his hand, offering him the most reassuring smile you can manage, “If Floyd gets a little too rambunctious and forgets that I can’t breathe underwater, I’ll have you to stop them.”

Azul hesitates but lets you go. He does follow you though, which is rather endearing.

It’s nice having people who want to protect you.

Once you reach the water, you start to sink into the sand. You keep walking until it’s reached your knees. There isn’t any sign of them, but you’re sure Floyd will ambush you sooner or later. You start moving again, eventually wading into the deeper part of the shoreline. Azul watches you apprehensively.

Something brushes your foot.

You can’t help but jerk, but the ticklish sensation makes you laugh.

Someone pinches your thigh, and you swat at them.

There’s a swarm of bubbles that surrounds you, and for a second you swear you can see a tail flick out of the water before a giant merman jumps out of the water and body slams you into the waves.

“Shrimpy!” Floyd cheers, squashing your faces together and splashing salt water everywhere.

“Hi, Floyd.” you giggle as he digs his webbed fingers into your sides.

“My my. No greeting for me?” Jade pouts, resting his chin on your other shoulder, “You’re so heartless, Pearl.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance!” you laugh, running your fingers through their hair, “Hello, Jade. I’m very happy to see the two of you.”

“Will you two be more gentle with them!?” Azul hollers, a sour look on his face, “They haven’t taken the potion yet, so you should be cautious!”

Floyd sinks into the water and blows annoyed bubbles. Jade just smiles serenely, making no move to leave your side. Azul groans loudly, exasperated.

“Azul, it’s okay.” you call, slowly making your way towards the shoreline with two mermen in tow, “If I didn’t want them here, I wouldn’t have come into the water.”

“Well, there you have it.” Jade smiles triumphantly, wrapping his tail around your leg, “The Little Pearl doesn’t mind one bit, do they Floyd?”

“Yeah, Jade. They don’t mind at all.” Floyd grins menacingly, wrapping his tail around your other leg.

“Guys, I need those.” you remind them gently, and they begrudgingly let you go.

It’s funny how they listen to you and not the man they call boss (who is still fuming on the shoreline.)

You clamber out of the water with the grace of a crab as Jade and Floyd continue to pinch at your legs. You’re only safe when Azul catches you in his arms, lips pursed and hair tousled from the wind.

“What’s this potion I’m supposed to take?” you ask, paying no mind to the splash of water that hits you in the shins.

“Ah. It’s a water breathing potion.” Azul hums, clearly proud of himself, “I brewed it myself, so rest assured, it will work. The potion allows you to breathe and see underwater with minimal difficulty. Your payment for the potion will be assisting us in collecting artifacts and such from the shipwreck I mentioned previously.”

You have a feeling that all that meant was your payment is spending time with us.

You suppose they are rather lonely, with their reputations and all. Azul especially, with that sensitive heart of his.

“Okay,” you say softly, following him as he leads you to a neat row of duffel bags. He leans down and unzips the one with a cute little octopus charm and produces a purple glass bottle. The cork is shaped like a clam shell, and you marvel at how pretty of a bottle it is for only a few seconds before you look at Azul.

The sea is dangerous, you remind yourself. But these three will protect you.

“Now, I will not be joining you.” Azul declares, taking out a book from the same duffel bag, “So you may go with Jade and Floyd.”

He plops down in the sand, opens the book, and ends the conversation.

What?

You must have stood there for far too long because Azul looks up at you over the rim of his glasses as if you’re the one doing something weird.

“Come on Azul!” Floyd yells from the sea, “Shrimpy doesn’t care!”

“Indeed. And you were so excited about this trip, too. I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want to come.” Jade sighs, shaking his head in disappointment, “There’s nothing to be done about it, I suppose. It looks like we’ll be getting the pretty little pearl all to ourselves, won’t we, Floyd?”

“Oooh, yeah!” Floyd beams, tongue flicking out between his sharp teeth, “All to ourselves, Jade.”

You see Azul’s eyebrow twitch.

Floyd groans, seemingly annoyed at Azul’s lack of reaction, and shifts his targeted jeers to you.

“Shrimpy! I can tell you why Azul doesn’t want to go!” Floyd yells, flailing his arms around, “He doesn’t want you to see his merform! He’s super squishy and slow!”

“Now, now. That’s rude, Floyd.” Jade chastises his brother, but his smile lets you know that he’s getting a kick out of this too.

“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” you turn back to look at Azul and kneel next to him, “I won’t be a fast swimmer either, Azul. Not as fast as Jade or Floyd. It’d be nice to hang back with someone.”

Azul says nothing.

You block out Floyd’s jeering and focus on him.

“Hey.” you whisper, “If you want to come along, you can. Don’t let me stop you. I promise I won’t judge how you look, hell I won’t even look at you if you don’t want me to. But I’d really like it if you came—”

“That is out of the question.” Azul says curtly, pushing his glasses up his nose.

You hesitate, debating if leaving him here would make him more comfortable.

Except you know Azul. And you know if he doesn’t join you three on this trip, he’ll regret it.

“Listen, Azul.” you murmur, keeping your tone gentle and firm, “I want to go with you. It won’t be the same without you. So if you want to come, you should. I don’t want to leave without you.”

Azul hesitates, and you know you’re getting through to him.

“So come on!” you place a hand on his shoulder and smile reassuringly, “It wouldn’t be fun without you. Who else is going to teach me about all the different coins you can find?”

“Gahh, fine!” Azul snaps his book shut and tucks it back into his duffel bag, hands shaking, “You run a hard bargain, my dear.”

You laugh, and your heart feels light. You lead Azul to the water and turn away as he prepares to transform. You hear a soft splash and you pop the cork off the pretty glass bottle. Tipping it back, the contents spill past your lips and down your throat. Not wanting to be messy, You place the cork back on and put the bottle on a nearby rock. A slimy hand reaches for you, and you turn to see Jade smiling up at you. Floyd is a little ways away, bouncing around in the water like he can’t wait for you to enter. 

Azul is nowhere to be seen, but that’s okay. You can only hope he’ll feel more comfortable as the trip goes on.

”Come on, Shrimpy!” Floyd yells, and that's all the encouragement you need to take Jade's hands and let him drag you into the water.

And he coaxes you into the smooth waves, just like a siren. His eyes certainly glow like he’s hypnotizing you, but you’re certain his beauty is enough to have the same effect.

Once your head is submerged, you open your eyes. Instead of the sharp pain you expect to feel from opening your eyes in the salty water, you’re able to see clearly. Jade’s still holding your hand as he drags you deeper, tail swishing as he darts around coral. You try your best to follow him as you cut through the water, and you know if it wasn’t for the care he puts into making sure you’re not getting scraped on the rough outcrops of coral, you surely would have been injured already.

Floyd swims down from up above and snatches you from his brother in the blink of an eye. You’re pressed into a slick, pale chest as Floyd bears his teeth playfully, swimming farther up.

“No fair, hogging Shrimpy all to yourself.” Floyd grumbles, clutching you against him like a prized catch.

“Now, now. No need to get aggressive.” Jade hums, swimming up to meet Floyd, “They were very much enjoying themselves with me, weren’t you?”

You’re saved from the growing conflict between the brothers by Azul, who pokes his head out from a small cavern in the coral.

“Our goal is to get to the shipwreck, not mess around.” Azul chastises him, and you marvel at the parts of him you can see (which just so happens to be his face and the upper part of his chest.)

He really is beautiful.

“Yes, boss.” Floyd smiles lazily, flicking his tail at him before swimming off with you in tow.

Jade smiles but says nothing as he follows after his brother, who decides to take a small detour. He spins you around a coral spire as if he’s dancing, holding your hands as you spin. His grin is toothy and wide, and his laughter rings clear even in the water, eyes shimmering as if reflecting the sun. He twirls you around like a dancer, and the water fans around you like a costume. It makes you feel like a performer, gorgeous and renowned, and you find yourself grateful for Floyd’s adventurous spirit.

“You see that, Shrimpy?” Floyd giggles, halting mid-dance to swim closer to the coral reef, “It’s you!”

You swim a bit closer, using Floyd’s hand as an anchor to keep yourself close to him. There’s a small shrimpy fluttering through the crevices, skittering across the coral-like an underwater insect.

“Do I really look like that to you?” you tease, shooting Floyd a doubtful look.

“Sure ya do! You’re tiny and you scitter around and you’d probably taste really yummy.” he teases.

He bites just beside your ear and you swat at him. Floyd laughs and swims circles around you, jabbing you with his hands and poking you with his tail. He’s more touchy than usual, you think, and it makes you want to hold him too.

The next time he circles you, you latch onto his tail. Floyd shrieks and flings his you through the water, shooting you towards the coral reef with his pure strength.

“Only shrimps this tall get to ride for free!” He holds his hand up just a few centimeters taller than you and sticks his tongue out.

“Only eels this tall get to receive hugs from shrimpies.” you say, holding your hand just a bit higher than him.

Floyd swims upward and bonks into your hand, looking very proud of himself. You hug him as he takes you the rest of the way to the shipwreck.

It’s a towering thing, made almost entirely of wood. There’s a gaping hole in one of the sides, and you assume that’s how it sank. Floyd giggles and you realize your mouth is gaping in shock. You slam it shut, embarrassed.

Jade and Azul are already examining items they found in the sand, Jade swishing around in the open water while Azul hides most of his body in another crevice. There’s a small treasure chest by Jade’s tail, full of coins and what looks like paper—?

You’ll have to ask them about that.

“It certainly took you long enough.” Jade chuckles.

Azul acknowledges you two with a curt nod as he sorts through coins that look older than Trein. He’s far too deep in his element to engage in pleasantries, you think.

“Floyd, I found some well preserved musical records.” Azul says mildly, handing Floyd a book that seems completely dry without sparing him a glance.

Floyd positively lights up and tears the book out of Azul’s hands, flipping through the pages that are indeed dry.

“Old merfolk spells.” Jade explains, smiling at your surprised expression, “We find paper books fascinating, you see. If the pages are protected by leather and metals they last underwater for quite a bit of time. We had to preserve them somehow.”

“That is fascinating.” you breathe, and Jade chuckles.

He grabs your hand and you turn to him questioningly. He gestures towards the large ship, towering over your little group. You gape at the structure again, and Jade laughs at your facial expression. The hole in the side of the ship looks just big enough for someone to enter it, and you find yourself wondering how it got there again.

Now that you think about it, the hole could have been made after the ship sank.

“Shall we?’ Jade murmurs, pressing a guiding hand to your lower back.

You let him lead you into the shipwreck, but he doesn’t allow you to enter until he’s checked the floor you’re on thoroughly.

“It’s all clear, my pearl.” he offers you his hand again, and you take it.

The second you’re inside, you break free from Jade’s grasp and swim around the room. There’s a collection of silverware in a rickety old cabinet. There’s an old chest that’s cracked open, and you can see scraps of paper peeking out from their age-old prison, suspended in the water. There’s an armchair with an intricately woven cushion, one of its armrests broken off.

Jade watches as you dart around the room, silently following you as you glance from item to item. You know he must think it’s amusing that you can be so enraptured by your own kind. He can’t blame you, though. Humans have always fascinated him, and you’re well aware he’s aware of you indulging him on many occasions.

Many people would be frightened if Jade Leech examined them so closely. You are not one of those people.

“Jade.” you whisper, swimming over to him with curiosity in your eyes, “Is this an old terrarium?”

Oh, you can tell that piques his interest. You point to a dark corner of the ship to a small table and a tiny, house-like structure. It’s made of some type of fibrous material, and two glass panes extend diagonally from the rectangular base. Jade swims over, gently taking the structure in his hands and peeking inside. His sharpened teeth glint in the slivers of sunlight as he beams, cradling the discovery as though it was worth more than all the gold Azul was sorting outside.

“Yes, it is.” he murmurs, voice soft as he coaxes you forward, “Humans didn’t care so much about how pretty terrariums were as long as they were functional. I’ve heard many merpeople talk about how boring these terrariums in particular are as a result of their lack of stained glass, but I can’t help but find this style charming.”

“Sometimes being functional is better.” you agree.

Jade gazes upon you with a softness he does not normally display. It makes your heart take a little tumble in your chest.

Jade opts to take the terrarium with him, and the two of you bounce ideas of what to put in the container back and forth. At one point you bring up taking some coral and sea floor rocks for decor, and Jade perks up like you’ve just reinvented the world of terrariums.

“I’ve been so fascinated by your world that I forgot about the beauties of mine.” he murmurs, lifting a silver knife to examine it, “Say, what do you think about using this knife as a plant marker?”

“You could carve the name of the plant in the handle.” you muse, and Jade nods with a wide smile.

“You have a fascinating mind.” he places a hand on your head, scratching gently at your scalp, “It makes me want to explore you, too.”

You feel your face grow warm in the chilly water.

With your suggestion in mind, Jade begins collecting the various plates and silverware he can find, debating how he can use each bit of his treasures. You watch him for a while as he darts around, storing the items you used every day in his terrarium as though it was a precious treasure chest.

“Isn’t there a story about how the mermaid princess believed that a fork was a comb?” you ask as he picks up a golden fork, “I think Floyd told me that one.”

“So he does pay attention.” Jade chuckles, turning his gaze to you, “Yes, indeed. She was so excited upon seeing one at the prince’s dinner table that she snatched it right up and began vigorously brushing her hair. As you can imagine, the prince was very confused.”

“That would have hurt her scalp pretty bad.” you murmur, furrowing your brow, “But she had the right idea, I suppose.”

Jade laughs, and you feel proud that you were the cause.

“Jaaaade!” Floyd pokes his head in and beams when he sees you, “Have you gone down to the bottom floor yet? Azul says there's a lot of fun stuff down there.”

“I haven’t.” Jade says mildly, “We’ve been having a grand time up here, you see. I daresay I got a bit distracted.”

Floyd sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry, but with the unparalleled length of his tongue, it looks incredibly odd. You barely manage to stifle a laugh, and Floyd beams as though he’s just won a prize.

“C’mon, Shrimpy!” Floyd cackles, darting forward and snatching you up into his arms, “Let’s go explore!”

You’re surprised when Jade follows the two of you down to the deeper levels of the shipwreck. You expected him to continue perusing the selection of silverware, but instead he clutches his terrarium in his arms and swims after you and his brothers. Floyd’s chattering away about how you aren’t going to believe what’s on the lower deck and how it’d shock your poor shrimpy heart to death if you were alone. He giggles and wraps himself around you, covering your eyes as he leads you into an open space.

“Look, Shrimpy.” Floyd murmurs right next to your ear, peeling his hands away from your face, “Look at all those weapons.”

Floyd’s not wrong, this would be a rather creepy sight if you were alone. There are two long rows of cannons, each one covered in seaweed and coated in a strange green film. The seaweed reaches out for you in the water, almost as if they’re composed of dead souls that yearn for vengeance. Jade swims out into the room and swats away the seaweed as it clings to his tail. Floyd leads you after his brother and giggles when you shy away from the plant, hating the way it feels against your skin.

“Shying away from a little seaweed, Shrimpy?” Floyd hisses, playfully swatting at the tendrils that reach out to you, “Don’t worry about it. You’ll be fine.”

You’re relieved when you reach the end of the hallway.

Jade carefully examines a wad of mud that bulges from the opening of a nearby cannon, sediments peeking out from the sludge. Floyd busies himself with darting up and down the aisle, laughing and flipping around in the water. You let him drag him with you, and slowly get used to the texture of the rough seaweed clinging to your legs. Floyd twirls you dramatically and dips you, proclaiming loudly that dancers always do this in those silly little human movies, taking the opportunity to snap at your ear again.

He seems amused when you still don’t flinch.

“Floyd, don’t tease them.” Jade calls, a devious grin on his face, “We wouldn’t want them getting cold feet now.”

“I dunno, Jade. I think their feet are already pretty cold.” Floyd giggles, poking the bottom of your foot with the edge of his tail, “Cold as ice.”

Your toes flex at the ticklish sensations. They certainly do like finding all your weak spots, don’t they?

“We should warm them up, don’t you think?” Jade quips, tilting his head innocently.

“Maybe we shouuuuuld.” Floyd hisses, running his claws down the length of your arm.

They must see how your face twitches because they laugh and close in on you. What teases they are, whispering things to you like that. Just when it seems like they’re going to give you one of their famous squeezes, they stop.

“C’mon, Shrimpy. Let’s get you back up to the surface.” Floyd snatches up your wrist and yanks you so hard you’re certain he almost popped your arm from its socket.

Jade grabs your other hand, much more gently, and curls his fingers through the gaps in yours. You let them pull you upwards, powerful tails cutting through the water and they propel you up and out of the structure. Azul is nowhere to be found, and you must look confused at his absence because Jade squeezes your hand. You turn to him and he offers you a calm smile.

“Don’t worry, Azul is back on land. He’s had his fill of being seen for today.”

He doesn’t want you to see him in that form more than you already have.

“That’s okay.” you murmur, “He’s done more than enough already. I’m proud of him.”

“I’m certain he’ll appreciate the understanding.” Jade smiles his closed-eyed smile and nods.

The trip back is full of the same coral reefs, the same tails twining between your legs and curling around your waist, the same laughter from Floyd and quips from Jade. There’s a bittersweet feeling that wells up in your chest as you reach the shoreline again, knowing you likely won’t be back here for quite a while. Despite the rumors that the students of NRC spun about the Leech brothers, they weren’t nearly as dastardly as they usually were. You wonder if it has something to do with the joy of exploring a ship, of being in their element, of being able to talk about things they like.

“If you two want to talk about the things you like, I’d be happy to listen.” you say.

The Leech brothers share a look, one that seems as though they’re communicating without words. They turn back to you and smile, Jade’s grin is far less toothy than Floyd’s but just as happy.

“Keep talking like that and we’ll have to drag you down into the depths and keep you to ourselves.” Jade murmurs, eyes flashing, “Won’t we, Floyd?”

“Ohhh, yeah.” Floyd giggles, “Jade’s right. Who knows what’ll happen, hmm?”

Nevermind.

You laugh and shake your head, to which Jade chuckles.

Your head bursts from the water and you stumble onto the warm sand, where you see Azul sitting in front of three treasure chests. His brow is furrowed as he hunches over the coins, sorting them by year. You decide to sit beside him as the Leech brothers continue to swim. At some point, you hear Floyd slam his entire body into the water, and shriek as Jade slams into the water and pushes an even bigger wave back at him.

“Did you have fun today?” you whisper to Azul.

“I did, yes. I haven’t gotten the chance to explore a shipwreck since enrolling in NRC.” he pushes his glasses up his nose, and they make a soft clicking noise, “I found many more coins for my collection. I’m pleased.”

“I’m glad.” you say, and you don’t say anything else because there’s no need.

You do, however, find yourself splashing back into the water when Floyd calls your name a little while later.

You’re glad you came.

[justsomefluff]

Ateez as Types of Everyday Fluff

Hongjoong: the type to kiss something off of your lips rather than wipe it away with his hand

Joongieeee

I know that he is one of the members who hates kisses the most

but not with his partner

just thinks kissing the members is cringe

anyway if you two are eating together or maybe having a snack while sitting on the couch

doesn't care if it's in public or not

if you get something on the side of your mouth and dont notice it?

swoops in so fast to kiss it away

and you'll just kind of stare at him dumbfounded because he's not much for PDA

and he'll just smirk and shrug while licking his lips

"you had something there. but i got it for you :)"

Seonghwa: the type to say "but what about me" when you're cuddling a plushie

picture this

you're sitting on the couch waiting for Seonghwa to bring some snacks to the living room for movie night

and you got a squishmallow (lol my real life mixing with my delusions get me outttt)

and you're hugging it and stuff bc soft

and when he comes back he stops and stares at you

one because it's super cute, but two because... where he gon sit?

will literally drop all the snacks on the table and pout at you

if you ask what's wrong he's literally just gonna rip the plushie from your hands and fling it (lmao yk the video of him throwing the bean bag)

but then lowkey feels bad and brings it back to you

will allow the plushie to remain on the couch but it must watch as you snuggle him instead

Yunho: the type to pull you closer in his sleep

YUYU SWEET BOY

whenever you two share a bed he's gotta be touching you

swears he won't fall asleep if you don't snuggle

when he does fall asleep though, I feel like he's the type to roll around and fidget a lot

and if you move away or he moves away?

he might not wake up but he's gonna grope the bed until he finds you

just kind of flopping his hands and arms everywhere until they land where they should

he won't pull you to him though, he'll pull himself to you

and just nuzzles his lil nose in your neck and it tickles because he's snoring and letting out lil baby puffs of air

Yeosang: the type to bully you

bullies you in the cute, cringey way

like will take you to the aquarium and point at the wolf eel and be like omg your twin

or if you walk by a garbage can he's like omg it smells like your morning breath

omg this reminds me of you (hands you literally the ugliest shirt you've ever seen)

curses your own two ears with his insults

but he's also so giggly and cute about it

it's impossible to be mad

and he always makes sure you know he's joking

whether because he's scared he'll hurt your feelings, or because he's scared you'll hurt him

the world may never know

San: the type to give you his plushie to hold

polar opposite of Seonghwa

if you're sitting together playing a video game or watching a movie or just chilling

and he has to get up for some reason

he doesn't like the idea of leaving you by yourself even for one minute so he'll be like

baby i'll be right back hold Shiber

and when he first does this it's kind of like ???? lol ok????

but then you realize that he just wants you to have company

he always wants you to know that he's thinking of you even when you're apart

does that mean i have to think of you going to the bathroom rn

NO DONT THINK ABOUT THAT

WELL YOU SAID TO HOLD SHIBER WHILE YOU PEE

lmao

Mingi: the type to feed you the last bite of his food

you guys are getting to the end of a meal together

and he's noticed you eyeing his food the whole time as if you didn't have your own

he'll be super dramatic about it and be like

OH WOOWWW

IM SOOO FULLLLL

SO FULFILLING

I COULDNT POSSIBLY EAT ONE MORE BITE

and will look at you, and stretch and yawn and rub his tummy

and then offer you his fork

"finish it for me?"

Wooyoung: the type to do nothing with you

i know that sounds weird

but he just enjoys your company

does not care if theres an activity involved or not

just wants to be around you

you two could just lay together and talk

or even lay together and say nothing at all

i know he's our hyperactive boy

but since he runs a million miles a minute he really loves when he can savor the slow, peaceful moments with you

Jongho: the type to drop you off at work

wants to be there for you even when you don't need him

also enjoys the little time he can spend with you, even when you're half asleep in his passenger seat

likes to be the last person you see before you go into work

he likes to think that you'll have a better day that way

like he's some sort of good luck charm (he is)

also sees himself as an acts of service kind of guy

loves to do things for you

little things you'd never complain about, but still appreciate when they're done for you

[icantdousernamesman]

THE MARAUDERS ERA SIBLINGS

As someone with 5 younger siblings, I refuse to believe that the marauders era characters were almost all only children.

So may i present, MY SIBLING HCS FOR THEM!!!

James- Defo an only child, spoilt rotten and couldnt do anything wrong in his parants eyes. Monty and Effie had him relitively old too, like probably early-mid 40s. Defo a planned baby, they were probs trying for a while but it didnt work so they started to think that they waited too late, so james was like a miricle to them.

Sirius/Regulus- Obviously theyre brothers, feel like they were planned but unwanted. Like, walburga was betrothed to orion, who was lot older than her btw, and they had to consumate their marrage right away, so i feel like sirius was consieved on their wedding night. Walburga wouldve been 13-16 at the time, and orion wouldve been 25-32. Feel like they had another pregnancy right before regulus but it miscarried early on, so when regulus was consived they just pretended that it was the same one. Regulus wouldve been consieved very shortly after sirius bc theyd like as many heirs as possible, like the rest of their family. They wouldve been all disapointed when he was born a girl and i think he wouldve been a difficult pregnency too. After that they wouldve tried again, and had multiple miscarriges before they finally stopped trying.

Remus- Hope and Lyall wanted more kids after remus, but instead they decided that after remus was bitten it woud just be too difficut and not fair on the other kid or remus to be in that situation.

OR

if we're going with the theory that remus was put up for adoption or somthing bc his parants either died or couldnt take him, then i reckon hed have a younger half sister, about 7 years younger than him, and two younger half-brothers, roughly 5 and 9 years younger than him. But either way i feel like hope and lyall had remus young, at like 18 or 20. Defo wasnt planned.

Peter- Peter would've had an older brother by about 10yrs i think. He doesnt see him anymore and hes THAT family member that the rest refuse to talk about for some reason. feel like he also has a 3 years older sister who he was close with, but died in the 1st war a while b4 he betrayed everyone. his brother wouldve been unplanned and his parants wouldve had him at about 21-24. Peter and his sister were both planed tho.

Mary- Girl has a LOT of siblings. Feel like shes a middle child, but the only witch in the family. Has about 6-8 siblings maybe, her being directly in the middle of them all, and also being a bit overlooked bc shes not always home and lives at a bording school, unlike the others who get public school. think she wouldve been rlly close w the youngest sibling before she started hogwarts, but then she started missing them growing up, so they ended up getting distanced. The oldest of her siblings wouldve been unplanned, but after that her parants just decided to go for it and keep having more. They all wouldve been in a relitively cramped flat in south london, probably with their parants in one room, the two oldest kids in another room, three middle kids in another room, and two youngest in a seperate one.

Lily- Honestly i can see it very well how it is, cannon compliant with her and petunia. Feel like they were both planned, and had a pretty mainstream and nuclear family.

Marlene- BROTHERS. Shes the youngest and only girl out of all of her siblings. She has one older brother by about 3-4 years, and then she also has about 3 or 4 older step-brothers from 6-10 years older than her. She was planned, and her parants originally wanted to have more kids after her, but they ended up splitting.

Dorcas- Feel like shes an only child tbh. Possibly has a younger sister, but she would be about 12 years younger than her or something. Would probs still be in hogwarts when dorcas died. Both would've been unplanned, but kept anyway.

Barty- Every ounce of bartys being just screams only child. He was planned, (and regretted) and his mum wanted one more kid after him and close in age, but his dad didnt want any more, so his mum just decided to use the "perfect on 1st try" phrase all the time. Think his parants wouldve been about 27-29 when they had him.

Evan/Pandora- ROSIER TWINS, OBVIOUSLY. They were planned babies, but i hc that their mum died in childbirth, so their dad raised them alone for about 3yrs, before he started dating and eventually married another woman, their step-mum. And about a 7-10 year age gap later, they had their little half-brother Felix. Evan liked him, but pandora LOVED him, and a few parts of him reminded her of regulus too. Felix was defo planned as well.

Brief bonuses

Alice- Has a younger brother and sister. Her brothers about 2 years younger than her, her sisters about 5 years younger. Her and her brother were planned, her sister was not.

Frank- Has a brother one year younger than him, both were planned.

Xeno- Has a brother 12 years older than him. His brother was planned, but he was not.

Molly/Gideon/Fabian- Gideon and Fabian were older than molly and both unplanned, and would always tease her. The twins were about 2 years older, and molly was also unplanned.

UNEXPECTED BONUS

Minnie- Idk why, but i feel like she had a twin sister that died unexpectedly young. Take that how u will.

(R.I.P Maggie smith)

[pumpkinsy0]

genuinely about to crash out cause this guy ive had a situationship with for the past 2 years has not spoken to me in 3 days … anyways hcs of tarry being confused in their relationship before they both acknowledged it? please🥲

anon,,,u gotta stand up,,,for ur own sanity, GET UP OFF THE FLOOR🗣️🗣️🗣️

•id say this is mainly a thing that happened in hs, bc if they did this at their current ages, theyd b so sick of it so fast and just straight up ask

•the problem w the both of em is that they dont say what they feel and thats how they got into the situation that theyre in LMAOOOO

•ANYWHOO, as per usual they always felt like there was SOMETHING there, but there was always something pushing them away, and in this case, it was darry dating cheerleaders, his weird thing w paul, and just where darry study socially in hs honestly

•tim would never ever ever trust a soc, and as much as he trust darry, thats ALWAYS gonna b dampened by the fact that he hangs out w a lot of soc’s, the JOCK kind of soc’s, so theyre like, double worse (in tims eyes and hes not that wrong tbh)

•but looookkk u cant blame darry for EVERYTHING, hs darry is def dealing w internalized homophobia and hes just scared of that commitment w tim

•theres this pattern between em, where they would have literally thee gayest moment ever, but days later tim would spot darry w some cheerleader and then they avoid each other, then miss each other, then “get back together” annnndddd repeat!!!

•and u can BET, that what got under tims skin most was darry w paul, bc it was literally ALL the problems he had w darry rolled into one AND darry being close w paul in tims eyes is basically like saying “even if we were in a relationship, ur not the kind id be with forever”, yknow???

•tim aint no walk in the park either btw, hes a dick and would get other ppl to fill that void darrys leaving, if hes feeling really hurt, get w another guy to rub it in darrys face later on that tim can do what he want and that hes tooottalllyyy not bogged down by darry

•after darry graduated, i think is where they lost contact w each other for a while, outta sight outta mind type deal, if they did see each other and couldnt avoid talking to each other, it was strictly business and they neeevveeerrrr brought it up

•considering he lost 2 of his #gayluvrs after paul went to college and tim shortly stopped rlly going to school and instead focused on his gang, darry was put off of relationships for a while (2 whole years) that shit made him sick to his STOMACH😭😭

[mbappeward]

arguing with your boyfriend while you're on your period - kylian mbappe imagine

umm hi... ig im back?? the past months were a rollercoaster for me, i graduated high school and im now in uni studying biomedical sciences which is kinda hard but yeah at least its fun. however the main reason i couldnt post was bcs i was focusing on my mental and phsyical state, i got diagnosed with different anxiety disorders and its been really hard for me. but writing distracts me and brings me peace, so ig i should write more loll. anyways enjoyy :)

on and on with your boyfriend, it had been five minutes with the both of you just yelling back and forth. Actually, you were the one doing most of the yelling, he just sat there annoying every part of you.

"kylian just because you don't want to talk about it does not mean you get to walk out of the room." You yelled. The both of you were talking casually until he said something along the lines of going out with his friends tomorrow, and all you replied with was how he wasn't spending much time with you lately, and how lonely you felt. What did he do? Walk out the door. "I don't want to argue right now, i'm sick of it. I'm leaving." He spat out, letting a mocking sigh of frustration as he walked out the door. The fact that he walked away without letting you talk about your feelings angered you, so you followed him out.

"listen to me, you're making a big deal right now. nothing happened. I don't get why your yelling, you know everytime you accuse me of something it turns into an argument, and I'm honestly just not in the mood right now." He mumbled while looking at his phone. His response was so hurtful towards you, thinking back to all the times you were there for him and would listen to him.

"You think I'm being overdramatic?" You asked, your calm just as irritatingly calm as his. He nodded his head, face still looking towards his phone, his eyes were never on you, and you just wanted some respect.

You felt the pain in your abdomen worsen as you yelled through the pain. "Y-your not even looking at me. Why is it so hard for you to listen to me??" You scream out, a small lump forming on your throat. He threw his phone next to him, stood up and looked up at you for a quick second before looking away. He then turned back to you. 

"Y/n, I'm not trying to hurt you, I was only trying to avoid an argument." He whispered. "I wasn't trying to argue, I was trying to speak my side. I just wanted to tell you how I feel so empty without you here. You're most of the time at training and by the time you get back you're so tired to spend time with me. These free days are when we can actually spend time together." You mumbled. He gave you a look before looking up.

"But what about me? I never have breaks so when would I ever go out with my friends and do something I enjoy?" He spoke. His words felt like a stab to your heart.

"Do something you actually enjoy? Fuck off Kylian, you could have just broken up with me if being with me is something you don't actually enjoy. You know what? Do whatever the hell you want, I'm gonna be the one to leave now." You spat, walking out the door. 

The moment you walked outside, a rush of cold wind hit your face, your body automatically starting to shiver. You blamed yourself for not bringing a jacket, but just thought of going back soon. You found an empty bus stop to sit at, and decided it would be a good place to think about something to distract you, but that's when the pain started getting worse. Your hands grabbed onto your lower stomach and you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping it would make the pain subside. All you wanted to do was to be in your boyfriends embrace, for him to cuddle you, kiss you, cook for you, take care of you, and just love you. But right now, from his words, it seems like he didn't enjoy being with you, which one made you feel worse.

It got to the point where you didn't know if you were crying over kylian or the pain, but you decided it was both. You were never good with cramps, and you were extremely sensitive. Kylian was always aware, but this time it seemed to slip his mind that you needed him.

He was at home, thinking back at everything to see where he had made a mistake, his hands were fisted up as his heart began to ache out of fear. The moment he laid his eyes on the jacket he knew you were outside freezing. It was extremely late and it was freezing outside, and you didn't even take a jacket with you. Forgetting about the argument, he rapidly stood up, deciding to look for you. As he was taking his jacket out the coat rack, he noticed the chocolate wrappers littered in the counter and the painkillers you used for your period left there. It was then when he realized, you were on your period. You did not like sweet things, and if you were eating this much chocolate, it could only be one

reason.

"Fuck." He mumbled, grabbing the car keys and running out the door. His footsteps echoed around the streets as he got to the car. He hoped that you were okay. As he looked around while driving, you were nowhere to be found, and he only started panicking. He took out his phone, hands barely being able to hold the phone from how much he was panicking.

Finally, after getting a hold of himself, he pressed on your contact, praying that you would pick up, but to his luck, it went straight to voicemail. If anything happened to you, he would not be able to forgive himself. He cursed under his breath, his vision becoming blurry as he thought about the worst case scenarios. He should have never been so hard on you when you were only trying to spend time with him. Guilt filled his body as the only thing he wanted was for you to be in his arms.

He kept looking around the neighborhood and that's when he found a figure sitting in an empty bus-stop. His heart almost beat out of his chest as he found you. After making sure it was you, he parked the car nearby and sprinted, glad to see that you were okay.

"You idiot." He mumbled as his voice wavered. It was laced with fear. "If you're just here to insult me then you can leave." You mumbled, looking away. Kylian immediately took off his jacket, wrapping it around your form as he gently held your face, bringing it close to his so that he could kiss you. You flinched from how warm his lips felt against yours, but slowly melting into him. No matter how upset at him you were, you were always his, and you could never resist him. As you were kissing, you began to feel droplets of what you thought was rain falling on you. Breaking away from the kiss, you saw the first snowfall. You've heard of couples kissing on the first snowfall, but never about it snowing as you were kissing.

Kylian pulled you into a hug, as you shivered and hugged him back. The cramps started getting worse and worse by the moment, and before you knew it, you started crying again. Taken aback, Kylian stared at you with fear, examining you to see what was wrong. You held onto him tightly, telling him your stomach was hurting, another pang of guilt hitting him for not taking good care of you. "Aw my baby...I'm so sorry, it'll be okay, I promise. Come let me carry you and get to the car." He kissed your head. You were too in pain to reject him, so you let him carry you to the car. You felt calm and though the pain was still there, it wasn't as bad as it was before. He put you in the front seat next to him and adjusted the seat so you were laying down instead of sitting. The cramps were getting worse. He hated seeing you in pain. He covered you with a blanket he had stored in the back seats. You were still sniffing here and there as your mood swings and cramps were getting the best of you, and that you really felt uncared for through his words, though he probably didn't even mean it. During the car ride home he put on calm music. After you got home, Kylian carried you carefully bridal style. He opened the door and softly laid you down on the couch and you looked up with half lidded eyes. You had almost fallen asleep on the ride back. The lights started to wake you up as you whined, wanting to go back to sleep. You wanted to make everything okay again.

Kylian was about to head to the bedroom to go get something until you held his hand. "D-did you mean it? When you said you wanted to do something you actually enjoy and that was to go out? Am I too boring?" You mumbled. He sighed before sitting right by you. He leaned down towards you as he placed a kiss on your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips.

"N-no. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have walked away when you were talking to me like that. I should have listened to what you were going to say. I'm sorry I didn't take care of you, I'm sorry you had to go through this because I'd me. I do love you, so much.

And I promise we'll solve our conflicts together. Okay? we'll talk the rest out tomorrow, rest and sleep now okay?"

You nodded, trusting his words. He was never one to disrespect you and you know he wouldn't say anything like that and mean it. You decided you'd just talk to him tomorrow and that you'd go to bed for now. He made you mean to eat and put a heat pack on your stomach as he peppered your face with kisses and rubbed your belly so that you could go to sleep. You cuddled against his chest as he hummed a tune that you could sleep too. He cooed at your sleeping figure. He pressed a last kiss against your head after passing out right next to you.

[tom-is-online]

firstly hi, im the toya side story person. i do hate the fact that akito punched toya. i dont think anything really justifies violence. but enas is implied to be much more frequent! And sibling fights are whatever.

but u cant ignore the fact that some people may just not like ena because of this repeated pattern. i understand that the person in the tags was trying to explain enas behavior, not justify it. but unless its been retconned in a way i forgot, pale color says shinei only really started telling ena that she couldnt be an artist w/o talent when ena was looking at highschools, so its not like ena was fresh into middle school when her father rejected her dreams. akito when faced with insecurity didnt physically lash out at ena as far as im aware of. saying that she lashed out at him just bc he was nearby and improving in his own field doesnt really change a lot imo. just because siblings use each other as an outlet for stress doesnt mean everyone has to be comfy with it. plus, when akito describes the scratching, he mentions dodging the thrown objects and the scratches being hard to avoid if shes near, which leads me to believe that akito was trying to avoid a fight instead of a sibling brawl

im not calling this abuse, by any means, nor am i suggesting that ena shld have magically spawned healthy coping mechanisms. Im just trying to suggest a possibility that ena scratching akito may not have made her likable with some people, given the repetition and akitos lack of involvement in enas insecurity. everyone has different boundaries on what they think is okay. anyways i am happy to continue discussing this tho, i really liked hearing a diff perspective :) and if i missed anything from the stories, i really am sorry

original post

I understand what you're getting at, but I wanna just clear up some stuff with it

Akito and Toya became friends about two years before the main story (both 14), which means Ena was in the last year of Middle School when they met. Ena would have been looking at High Schools at the time, so the timelines with that add up with her emotional state due to her father. And since then, Ena has clearly stopped doing this to Akito

I understand the "it was a repetitive occurrence" argument but she was clearly not in the right headspace to be rational and considerate whilst having breakdowns, she was 15 and mentally unwell, and she's not gonna act in a rational way

Even if it was hypothetically before her last year of middle school.

SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO OLDER THAN 15 have you met a pair of siblings 14 and younger? esp with personalities like the Shinonomes

Akito likely wouldn't have fought back against Ena in the same way because he's clearly always been very athletic meaning to me if he tried to fight her back. He would probably just win and he doesn't want to just kick her when she's already down.

Anon (and other people who make this argument) I am just so curious if you're an only child and if not what your siblings are like. I don't have a sister but I have a brother one year younger than me and we fought all of the time until we were like 15-16, me and my brother are both very hot-headed people esp at that age. Siblings just do that, so being so uncomfortable with the concept of siblings fighting that you hate Ena just feels so much like you don't understand typical sibling behaviour

If you're uncomfortable with the fact a 15-year-old had fights with her brother whilst she was likely mentally unwell or below the age of 15 and continue to hold this to them until they are 17-18 when they no longer do this

whilst also excusing Akito for what he did in the main story because it was a "one-off"

idk, man.

the argument is about liking Akito and not Ena. If you can hate Ena for being ~15 and mentally unwell whilst scratching Akito but not hate Akito for punching Toya at 16 and that being a MAJOR PLOT POINT whilst Ena's isn't.

it just feels like you can't understand the nuance behind someone doing something negative when they have bad mental health or you don't have siblings and don't understand how siblings like the Shinonomes would act in a situation such as theirs.

Or someone just gives the male characters way more leniency than the female characters

anyway. i do understand people have diff boundaries. but giving Akito leniency on violent behaviour and not ena for actions she did years ago. you can understand how this is a red flag

idk if i have anything else to say about the matter without going in circles

anyway. theyre great i love them

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

what is the story of you and violet like how did you start and how did it reach to where it did, of course only if you’re comfortable. ( i’m not trying to mock you or make fun of it, ik what you went through but since you said anything personal, i have wanted to know this. i’m interested in things which are none of my business. i pray im not sounding rude, i really want to come of as nicely as i can, but i can’t)

whole story below the cut, there’s a tldr at the end bc i added a load of unnecessary details. js brace its kind of a long one.

so we met when i was 12 and he was 15. i remember it was june 2020. i didn’t like him at first—got sort of a weird vibe. but then i got to know him more and, by september-ish, he became one of my best friends. by november, i thought of myself as having a crush on him (i didnt know i was aroace at the time) but i never made a move bc he was dating one of my friends, lets call her jude. we talked pretty much every day. i had to leave our friend group for safety reasons but he was my source of contact with the rest of my friends. i think we mainly talked on discord at the time?

flash forward to new years eve of 2020, and something happens. i’ll spare you the details, but needless to say my devices got confiscated. i still remembered his discord id, so i got my best friend to msg him and tell him what happened. i also got my favorite cousin to do the same, so he’d have two ways of talking to me.

keep in mind, my best friend and cousin both had it in their minds that i had a crush on him, so they’d both try to get him to like me. in june i think he broke up w jude. my cousin was also in regular contact with jude on instagram, so i got to msg jude at some point after the breakup and i distinctly remember her saying she’d be okay if i dated him but she personally was so unhappy w him. i didnt get that, but i think i later did

years pass w barely any contact. december 2022, i start dating someone else. january 2023, i realize i chose the absolute worst person and i break things off. then april 2023, i manage to get in contact w violet. we start dating the next day. (here he’s told me that he’s genderqueer he/she, but later he denied this)

i talked to him anytime i could and he'd send selfies a lot. i was scared about my parents so i asked him not to. he'd do it anyway. i didnt ask him to stop after that

he wasn’t necessarily a bad boyfriend, i js didnt rlly feel. idk. special? i’d make playlists for him and send voice recordings whispering “i love you” in arabic but i never got any of that back ig. the first few weeks were the best but after that? nothing. i’d send pics and he’d call me pretty and hot and say he’s so lucky to have me. later i found out he called every girl pretty when he’d see a pic of her.

i self-harmed for the first time when i was with him. what he did was ask me to send a pic of it so he could check if its bad. i told him i was suicidal. i dont remember what he said.

and then came june 15th, 2023. what a day. i talked to him at like midnight my time. i remember the last thing he asked was for me to send a selfie so he could show me off to his friend.

then my mom found out. and i was so scared of her getting angry at me that i downed 16 pills and got rushed to the hospital.

my mom didnt get angry. but my devices were confiscated again. and i couldnt talk to him. keep in mind, he knew i was suicidal. i was expecting some kind of response from him through my best friend because he was still talking to her at the time, but i didnt hear anything. instead, nine days after i tried to kill myself, on the 24th of july, he broke up with me. 

i didn’t blame him. when your suicidal gf ghosts you for nine days ofc you’re gonna wanna move on. it’s not his fault. i js felt kind of lonely, yknow? on the 30th i managed to log into my acc to talk to him, to explain everything, n all i saw was a breakup msg. i dunno.

in october-ish of 2023, i managed to get thru to him. i explained everything. he didnt give much of a response, but he did ask if we could keep talking. i said sure. we did keep talking and i invited him to tumblr bc i had more of a presence here than anywhere else. when my mom confiscated tumblr in november, i continued talking to him on google chat

in february 2024 he was my valentine js bc we were both single and alone and we thought itd be fun. i wrote him a letter. he didnt make me anything but its fine. you get the idea we were getting closer again

by this point i realized i wasnt receiving the amount of love i deserve, and i was kind of sad bc he’s not a muslim and i am, so we couldn’t get married, therefore we wouldnt have a future together (i’m the kind of person who wouldn’t have a relationship w someone if it won’t lead to anything in the long-term). he told me he wouldn’t become a muslim or study islam for me, so i respected that. i wouldnt forcibly convert him. but i also acknowledged that i couldn’t be w someone who’s not a muslim, so i asked him to stop talking to me. he said okay.

he’d still reblog stuff and send me asks—he even asked me to write a poem about him for my follower event. but around that time i had kind of been getting drained from exams and i didnt want boy problems on top of that, so i asked him to stop all contact w me. he respected that, as far as i know. he wished for me to have a nice life. i wished the same for him. and i blocked him. i havent talked to him since then at all, i dont think

so yeah. kind of lengthy story thats a whole load of nothing. i dont want you to go bother him about this. he was my friend before being my boyfriend, and he was with me during a dark time in my life. i respect him and i ask for you to please not send hate towards him. think what you will, just dont bother him. i’d be happy to answer anything else, but i think i js about covered everything.

tldr; we met when i was 12 and he was 15. we dated starting when i had just turned 15 and he was almost 18. he broke up with me after i attempted sewerslide. we continued talking for a while after reconnecting but i cut him off again last feb for religious reasons and we havent talked much since.

[stgosupremacy]

MY SATOGOU GOODBYE RANT.

so yeah i said i would do one so here i am. honestly dont know how long this will be so let's get stuck in lmao <33

I'm starting after the 'im glad i met you part', bc i kind of already did a post on that anyway lol (and just wanted to add, in the dub they changed it to 'I'm sure glad i met you,' and Ash says it so soft omg i literally died on the spot watching it ;-;

(headsup ignore the fact some of the images are off a youtube channel i couldn't find the scenes💀)

so i hope this is all in order, but this bit is so so SO sweet when Goh tells him 'thanks for reaching out for me' like no surprise i was literally crying at that point like sgdxkjnfsgf it's so sweet to me that without Ash none of his journey would have really happened, but tbf you could say the same for all of his companion tbh. either way, i am very glad goh met satoshi too omg <3 🥺

theennnnnn this part is Ash just offering some sweet words of advice and comfort, talking ab their dreams ect, like, nothing too bittersweet to see here, but i guess you can say the way he said 'WE' and meant both of them is sweet lmao

OK so on the palm of our hands thing i have a few things to say

first of all i love how Ash knew that he knew what to continue with bc they are just so in sync with each other ofc <3 and OFC they had to put that scene in for the last episode, like when it was in the Mewto episode for the first time, i was honestly screaming of how cute it was LIKE THE FACT ASH MADE THE LITTLE ADD ON OF 'OUR HANDS' IN THE FIRST TIME THEY DID IT JUST MAKES IT EVEN MORE CUTER EJHSKF

but anyways as much as i love this scene because of how 'the future is in the palm of our hands', can be interpreted in some otherways, 👀 I also couldnt help but thing about something else.

after/before the Project mew stuff actually started/finished (pretty sure it was after,) we see a scene of Goh, Gary and Horace using the 'palm of our hands' phrase together, and yeah its rlly cute lmao, but i was kind of hoping it was something unique for Ash and Goh, not trying to be a fusspot, but i think the scene now feels slightly less special to me now Goh used it with some other people?

I mean sure, ash and goh were still the first people who did it, and it IS their kind of thing lmao, like they created it. Even tho it was just an initial thought, it is still really sweet that goh used it with others don't get me wrong <3

when i was watching this i was like no way this is it lol like are you not gonna confess

jokes but thankfully they made a bittttt more to it (and good bc if they left it there I would be sitting there like what)

so they start to walk away from each other and you see Goh is still quite sad while Ash is still holding up, my heart was dying </3

STOP IT WHEN GOH STOPPED AND HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY AAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺

BUT OFC

OFC ASH HAS TO CALL OUT TO HIM AND THE WAY GOH'S EYES HAVE THE LITTLE SPARKLE WHEN HE HEARS HIS VOICE 💖 The fact Ash actually thought while he was walking away 'oh shit need to check up on the bf' lol and climbed up the little hill to wave him off again is the cutest thing; CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE this made their whole goodbye for me tbh 💕💕💕

SUPPORTIVE BROS FOR REAL <3

ofc they want each other to achieve their dreams aww

ok but THIS

the bit where they nod at each other is so comforting to me like it's weird, but it gave me a little more satisfaction i'll say, lmao. also gives you a hint that they are wrapping up the goodbyes fully so it gave me some very brief preparation time 😢

and with that, Goh runs off into the distance.

</3 (my boy has grown up sm) 🥺

OK i do love that when he runs off, he's more confident, and when it switches back to Ash, it has him watching over Goh until he can't see him anymore, which is rlly cute <333 ahhh they're so pure man

Ash runs off to his new journey too, and he begins to talk about Pallet Town to Pikachu...

Thats it

yeah

SOOOOO BASICALLY THIS IS MORE OF THE RANT SECTION:

uhmmm so first things first. Did i like the goodbye for them? Well, yeah, it was quite cute, especially the end part where Ash gives him that last bit of encouragement and called out his name, because SHEESH if they left that part out and gave them that first goodbye without Ash calling out to him, and they just left each other....yeah, i wouldn't be happy.

see, i just kind of thought they deserved a bit better. It was v cute and all, but like they've been through so much together 😭 😭 😭 😭 like I'm saying this as a shipper but still 😂 tbf if they hugged I probably would have cried but let's be honest I could cry at anything at this point

but hey what we got was pretty cute, I just would have tweaked some things because honesty this duo are literally the closest I've ever seen in the anime, and I would have hoped for a little bit more, BUT IT'S FINE IT HAPPENED *mentally counts*

9 MONTHS AGO (??? where has the time gone)

but thank you for coming to my TED talk <33

[alyimoss]

Yeah I'm also new to tumblr that's why I'm doing this (re: starlo dad ask a few days ago)

Also do you have starlo hcs

lmao welcome to tumblr

and yeah ig but theyre not rlly?? idk substantial?? its been a while since i was insane abt uty, ive been meaning to replay it but stuffs been getting in the way.

anyway heres a couple

i think hes a good cook. i like the thought of him teaching ceroba how to cook, too (she almost set the kitchen on fire, they yelled about it in fear, had a couple drinks, then almost set the kitchen on fire again and yelled abt it). he also is the one cooking for the rest of the feisty five more often than not (they others are mostly ok at cooking tho. ed's really good, but struggles sometimes bc his hands are too big to be able to properly use certain utensils and appliances. moray is also a pretty good cook and help ed out a lot. they make a great team. ace is alright, can definitely follow a recipe, and is really good abt finding ones the rest really like. mooch.. mooch wouldnt go hungry if she lived alone. but shes generally not allowed to cook. has a no-bake dessert everyone loves though, she makes it on holidays and special occasions and to bribe the others)

this isnt my hc but i dont remember who i first heard it from but i loooove the hc that star glows when hes flustered. i think when he first started crushing on ceroba and theyd have sleepovers, hed just start glowing at times and shed throw pillows at his face telling him to stop bc she couldnt sleep

on that note, consider the bunk bed in his room. him and orion definitely shared. and orion definitely dreaded ceroba sleeping over bc her and star would share a bed and stay up late joking around and playing and talking and whatnot and hed often have to get up and just leave to go sleep on the couch or with their parents. they got into arguments about this.

he runs warm. dont hold his hand unless you wanna get sweaty.

in the case of clover lives/dadlo, hes the last one to know that clover thinks of him as a father figure. everyone else knows, either through observation or clover accidentally calling him dad in front of them or them just admitting they think of him as their dad. star probably learns of this via ceroba or dina or one of the five or someone telling him "you know clover thinks of you as a father figure, right?" and he bluescreens about it

im not like. the biggest corn yaoi shipper ever, but i think its cute (and the name makes me laugh), and i think dalv confesses first. theyre in some fancy restaurant or something and star asks "so, what'd you call me here for?" and to that dalv responds by just blurting out that he thinks hes in love with him. and star immediately chokes on his food bad enough he needs medical attention.

so ceroba mentions in-game that living w the feisty five is a bit of a nightmare bc of the sleeping and the fact that everyone has some kinda problem that specifically makes it hard for her to fall asleep. i think star is actually pretty normal in terms of sleep. might snore lightly if hes in an uncomortable position, but overall just quiet. the rest of the five dont fare so well. ed's got it best, he just snores. loudly, but everyone other than ceroba is just kinda fine w it. moray grinds their teeth and needs to be restrained or theyll end up halfway across the room from where they fell asleep. or farther. ace sleepwalks and talks. ceroba once woke up to him eating the berries off the plant on the dresser by her bed. still asleep. mooch also grinds her teeth and "sleep steals", aka waits for everyone else to fall asleep so she can go through their stuff. star, despite being able to sleep through everything else, somehow has a 6th sense for her or something, because he very consistently wakes up to catch her red-handed and chew her out

thats all i rlly got lmao

[imperpetuallylost]

hey babes!!!

i’m just bored, so take this as an invitation to talk about ANYTHING that’s been on ur mind recently!! i’d love to hear whatever it is ❤️

-xoxo, lou

i just remembered that i had an extremely old ask from u out of nowhere. like i think this was from before we started talking. anyway. i Will take this as an invitation, bc yk whats been on my mind lately?

YOU!!!

i love u so much and i cant stop thinking abt u and i cant believe u actually felt the same way about me that i do about you. every time i get a message from you i blush so hard. if we were talking irl id be mumbling nonsense bc i couldnt even form words. since im typing that just comes in the forms of gratuitous keyboard slams every single time you say something. anyway i cant stop thinking about you. i cant believe this. im repeating myself but it feels like it needs to be said twice. and also i love you. so much. and thats no joke

xoxo, lea

[tinukis]

some details about one of my one piece ocs, Z here i should like draw proper ref of Z soon bc i think abt the little guy often. if i do talk about him more and draw him, i may just reveal his real name eventually

anyway theres really nothing happy about this boy from what i shared and i still have nothing happy. however the reason he even still holds onto life is because of books. he loves reading about adventures, whether the tales are from real journalists or something made up. it inspires Z to continue living on despite being chained down in hell

thats not what i actually wanna talk about, i just wanna talk abt something more lighthearted. while Z does appreciate all the strawhats, the ones hes most particularly fond of are luffy, nami, and robin

not that any of them told their stories, but that those four can really sympathize with Z. nami especially can relate with how Z believes he needs to shoulder everything himself to save his island considering hes only 13 enduring all this pain and suffering-- how he even refused to ask for the strawhats help until things were extremely desperate and that he had to accept that he really was powerless to do anything.

doesnt help that Z's "foster family" fed the strawhats too and how charismatic they are- Z thought that they were completely entranced by them so they wouldnt believe a word a bratty kid would say. and when Z felt completely helpless, he had pinned the blame on the strawhats and wished they never met bc things did go downhill for Z since his arrival

with robin, Z would talk about his favorite book and robin adores how he'd light up talking about it. not to mention him getting really excited when robin said she read the book before and gave him recommendations. (and as a parting gift, she gave Z a book she already finished reading. and it's about a kid his age starting their own adventure and writing everything about their exploits as they travel the world)

and with luffy, i'll admit was p hard to think about as hes not an easy character to write... but hes always been good w kids (AAAAUUUGJWHDIWHDK) and how theyve been inspired by him. what makes it harder to think about is how this kid has ace's face and acted similar to a younger ace. luffy felt a bit uneasy and Z just didnt like him at all. though theyre attracted to each other like magnets so kinda impossible to be separated without being pulled apart. when the strawhats went off to do their own things, luffy and Z somehow come across each other and it's like "stop following me!" / "you're the one following me!"

neither share what adventures they had and neither cared enough to ask. though Z was a little curious about who ace was and luffy bluntly says that theres nothing to know now bc hes dead. Z was about to pry bc ace had to be important to luffy but then again why should he care about this guy? he didnt care much about luffy and he was gonna leave soon anyway so they just left it at that. and as luffy gets distracted by a beetle on a tree trunk, Z suddenly disappears.

at some point though, luffy knew there was something wrong if Z couldnt just leave the place and people he claims to hate. and Z was startled by luffy's sudden interest in him and the island. he wasnt even sure if he could trust this pirate (esp when the 'rulers' were previously pirates !!) but he didnt feel ill intentions from luffy either so Z does tell him about the strict laws of the land which pisses him off gravely bc basically all of the people's freedoms are revoked and have to live a certain way if they wish to even live 👍👍

Z: "dunno why you're interested. you're gonna leave and forget about this hell of an island anyway. theres nothing you can do."

and again, Z cant trust others- especially not pirates. but the more time spent with the strawhats, the more respect and trust he gave. but he never once believed that they cared for him the same

[c0rpseductor]

man i just like. blugh. ER

i dont really know where to begin with how i feel about it. part of me feels silly trying to Process it like it was Traumatic but every time ive been in a hospital it sucks and it just gets compounded by how hospital environments remind me of the institution from when i was a teenager and its just like. genuinely really overwhelming.

the first night when i got back i had nightmares about being back in the ER as soon as i went to sleep. i couldn't look at my arm that had the IV in it and just being able to feel where the IV had been made me really unsettled and anxious and sick. the second i got home and ate i slammed some tylenol PM and went right to sleep bc i couldnt take it. i remember waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and another part having to remind me i wasnt in the hospital anymore so i didnt panic again.

i just like. when it was dark bc they had turned the light off for my head in that back room, something about it felt so much like that first night at the institution, and the IV really hurt, and i was stuck lying on my back shivering in the dark feeling like i could barely move bc of the IV and so there was nothing for me to do but lie there feeling that pain like. i was so panicked i could barely even think straight, it still like, idk. i dont want to think about it but i feel so hung up on it. i was so fucking scared that even though the IV meds didnt really fix my headache i INSISTED i felt better just so i could have it out of me as soon as possible and go home. i can still see and feel that moment so vividly if i think about it. my mom had this like, oat milk bottled starbucks thing from the hospital cafeteria and a little of it spilled in my bag and even the day after catching how it smelled just made me feel sick with fear.

idk. i just hate hospitals so much. and it was especially awful because there were so many people and nobody was getting seen and i was in the waiting room in pain for most of the time, like 6 hours we were there and most of that was waiting. there was this older woman in the waiting room who was extremely disoriented and coughing loudly and kind of confusedly wandering around sometimes and crying out in pain or begging for help and the nurses didn't pay any attention to her really and everyone else in the waiting room just kind of tried to politely ignore her and the whole thing made me feel awful. at one point she was saying she was cold so i asked them to bring her an extra blanket and they did and im not sure she was even really too aware of what was going on, like when i asked if she wanted another blanket she didnt even respond, but i hated that she was so clearly going through it and nobody cared. it was really swamped but it was just awful to see anyway. and then when mom and i left, there were people sleeping on the floor in the waiting room bc it was getting close to 10 at night and they were still swamped.

idk. it was just really scary and painful and stressful and hard to deal with on top of already being in pain and having been in pain for a week and bedridden for days. and it was so fucked and disorienting i guess to go from being willing to do anything to make the headache stop to being willing to do anything to get the fuck out of the hospital and get that fucking needle out of my arm

[pumpkinsy0]

Ahaha guess who isn’t coping well rn? Me!

Context: today my period came and now I feel all nauseous and sad. But I solider on and went to do some shopping for some food. Issue? my dad also had like a bad day cause of his meeting. So when he found out I didn’t get his like alcohol he got mad. Not like SUPER mad more like passive aggressive mad??

I feel TERRIBLE because I made his day worse. But I’m also just sad right now. I love my dad so much but I feel like sometimes he just CAN’T be there for me. I can’t always ask for loving because he’ll think I’m being weird or needy. Or when I have a bad day, he’s also having a bad day. So I need to suck it up and act fine cause HE needs to let his feelings out. And I just- I just want my dad. I want him to hug him, I want to not have to earn his love, I just— I want him to stop being angry.

SORRY!! I’m venting majorly hard rn and that’s silly and stupid. But I was hoping you could do HC’s of this for one of the Curtis Gang Members. Maybe how that character would handle this. Maybe they’ll have better luck then me.

hey anon!!! im sorry to hear what ur goin through, u dont deserve it, so dont beat urself up!!! ur living ur own life and u shouldnt feel ashamed that u couldnt help someone else live theirs, plus bad day or not, no matter what it doesnt give someone the right to treat u poorly, its not ur fault!!! not even in the slightest!!!! ur sick on too of that, if ur dad cant show some compassion for that, hes the problem

BUT ITS OK!! its not silly or stupid, ur perfectly fine!!!

w all that said letsssss go w fem two bit w her dad here!! (yes this is genderswapped, but lets just say for this sake, twos dad and mom r the same and didnt swap genders)

•two loves her dad, which she knows is pretty odd considering hes one of the biggest con man she knows and even cons her sometimes but she just cannot help it no matter how many times shes mad at him

•two constantly feels like she needs to prove herself to him in order to get him to say “atta girl”, and in a twisted way, she really does but not really???

•two dad doesnt love her completely, but he does love her to a certain extent, he mostly loves what he can do FOR him and to a smaller extent loves her for her, thats guaranteed

•ANYWAYS, two’s sick and her dad got back home from this one con he tried doing that absolutely fucking busted, he got home and he was already annoyed, anything could set him off

•now he had this other thing planned, what was it??? till this day two doesnt know, BUT he told her to steal something for him, only problem is, she didnt get the right one, and she thought he would at least commend her for getting it, bc it was no easy feat, but she showed it to him, and he didnt go off on her, but she did see a look of disappointment and anger before he up and left to go to the couch, which made her feel worse

•for a good while, when he saw her around the house, he would make a comment about something she did, and it got to a point where two just couldnt take it and locked herself in her room till her mom came home late at night from work, just to avoid seeing him

•two mom HATES them hanging out the way they do and can always tell when something happened so when she sees twos dad at the table drinking and grumbling and twos door locked, she knows whats up and tries comforting two but it doesnt work, twos just beating herself up, so twos mom goes to her dad

•all two heard was yelling, it wasnt for long, maybe for 10 mins, but she ended up going to sleep to escape, she was just tired, hungry, and thirsty

•next day, he dad took her out, but it was so weird, bc its one of the only times hes seen him be hesitant near her, well with anyone really

•he drove her around town for a bit trying to make conversation, but failing miserably, and two knew he was trying to apologize, horrendously and in his own way, but he was trying, and to her that felt like enough, felt like a lot actually

[verdantdaises]

God, I already sent you two anons and a few comments but after that chapter I couldnt NOT send another one. Absolutely loved it. I usually don't keep up with works in progress but with yours I did. Excited for the next chapter.

Really loved the meeting of the families stuff, so much angst and fluff potential. That being said, any family related headcanons? What do you think Max and Bradley's opinion's on eachothers' relatives would be? Any negative or positive experiences that might've taken place? All that stuff.

Have a g'day!

EHEHE thank you!! <3 also I get it, it’s hard to get committed to a fic before it’s finished so I really appreciate that omg 🥹

Writing goofy was a really interesting experience I never thought I would be faced with but it was fun ehe

I reckon Max is nice to Bradley’s family, but the moment he’s alone he has nothing but bad things to say about them lol. Bradley is used to the kind of people they are, but Max isn’t the best at comprehending how someone can give birth to someone, raise them, and be so cold. Bc to Bradley’s parents he’s an object, an investment. He needs to prove he’s worth the effort.

Max in general is a very empathic person, and he knows that he didn’t experience the kind of disconnect that comes with having emotionally absent parents (me and Bradley got that in common lol) so he aims to listen and validate his experiences. Goofy raised him good lol.

Bradley meanwhile finds Goofy to be quite a lot and at times a little manipulative. (He’s the master of manipulation lol so he knows the tricks) goofy doesn’t mean to, but he’s often overstepping his son’s boundaries, and he’s not the best communicator. However he gets a little jealous and envious of the close relationship that Max and his dad have, something that he never had growing up. Of course Goofy is weary of Bradley, and it takes him a pretty long time to fully trust him, but he’s nice to him, he trusts his son’s judgement. Bradley has a habit of saying a lot of stuff like ‘I’ll fucking kill them’ or ‘I’m going to go fucking crazy’ and goofy shoots max a look like, ‘WHAT?’ before max has to explain that he’s just very verbal with his frustrations

I think Bradley and Sylvia would bicker but like, love each other. Sylvia’s all about the auras and stuff and Bradley thinks it’s a load of shit and has said that to her face lol. I think Max and Sylvia themselves have a very chill relationship, he’s seen his dad with a few people at this point, so it’s not something that really bothers him, they get along well.

I do think max has punched someone in the nose at college bc they won’t stop talking about how fit the librarian is though, he’s not violent but he just blacks out and realises he definitely just socked a guy in the face, very out of character but the guy said something disgusting and he was like, nah uh. Goofy has another freak out that he’s going to end up in jail, and Max has to talk him down from catastrophizing lol Bradley meanwhile thinks it’s hot (he has issues okay we have talked about it)

Anyway this got out of hand LOL

[queerspaceprince]

super long post

i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags

i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.

and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.

Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.

it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?

when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.

there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.

then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.

when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.

anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.

i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.

there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.

anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.

the whole thing about there still being time.

i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.

there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.

im still scared to do anything.

i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.

i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.

it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???

and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.

i think ill start on that again.

while i still have time.