#anyways i gave her my tumblr BEFORE the feelings started (which was . LITERALLY a couple of hours before btw. which. fuck)

[astro-inthestars]

Pro gamer move: soft block your crush (who, for SOME REASON you gave your tumblr account) so you can post about them.

anyways haha fuck you and your stupid handholding you ASSHOLE fuck you for making wish i'm constantly holding hands with someone i HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!

[remcycl333]

hi beautiful! it’s ☹️ anon. im gonna follow the routine you gave me. i made a list of about 17 affirmations that i can pick and choose from and word them however, but ill loop the same 3 if i ever feel to lazy to rampage. i do need some of your advice because i will be leaving tumblr even tho i miss waking up and sleeping to your posts.

1. what if i spiral and freak out about if im doing something right? like for ex. i am worried about my wording because my desire hasn’t come yet or the opposite happened and i feel the urge to check one of your posts or overconsume. what do i do? i heard most people say “answer it yourself” but what if i convince myself of the wrong answer?

2. what do i do when i spiral? because i know i will, so what do i do?

3. i obviously struggle with comparison, so how do i deal with that? i filtered my social media to avoid seeing people with my dream life BUT when sad tik toks or pretty girls on tik tok pop up on my fyp. i can’t help but want to be sorry for myself, how do i deal with that? even outside of tik tok like real life if i see someone else with their bf while mine is thousands of miles away, how do i deal with that?

4. how do i take care but not neglect my 3D at the same time? for example, if im studying for a test because i think ill fail instead of trusting my ability to manifest regardless of the test. isn’t that contradicting my manifestation? because i used to fail tests or like assignments because i thought “id manifest it away anyways” and now im kind of experiencing the consequences of my actions.

5. how do i stop complaining about my circumstances and life and feeling sorry for myself? whenever my friend is like “ugh i wish i was pretty”, i CANT help but feel the urge to tell her i relate (after comforting her obviously) or if my family calls since im miles away and they ask how im doing and i start complaining.

6. how do i repeat the new story without lying? for example, if my friends ask me if my bf is far away. i can’t lie and say no he isn’t because they know him and they know he’s far away. or they are talking about how they feel sorry about him being away. what do i say? if i agree with them, isn’t that reaffirming the old story? do i just repeat over and over again in my head that he’s actually here with me?

7. how do i deal with depressive episodes while manifesting?

8. does the state from which you’re affirming from matter? like if im repeating affirmations, shouldn’t it just matter that im affirming rather than the state that im affirming in? because a lot of people say that if you affirm from lack, it won’t manifest.

hey love!! u can screenshot this post to refer to during your time off tumblr!! 🤍

if you freak out about whether or not you're doing something right, tell yourself that you are always doing everything right. flip the thought like you would flip any negative thought! and remind yourself it's not about the wording of the affirmation, it's about the intent behind it!!

when you spiral, try your hardest to calm yourself down and go on a self-concept rampage. for example: no, i'm not doing this, i am literally god and i know that im only doubting because my affirmations are working and my ego is scared. but im doing this for my own good and i won't stop no matter what! i am god, my life is perfect no matter what i see in my 3D, i will not be fooled by my 3D. i am more powerful than any negative thought i have and i don't have to fall victim to them anymore. i refuse to!

i get where you're coming from with tiktok. i used to have to take breaks from tiktok bc id see couples/pretty girls and feel bad for myself. but everyone is you pushed out. if you see someone you think is pretty, or someone in a happy relationship, it's because you've been focusing on being pretty/being in a happy relationship. think of it as birds before land/a sign that your desires are manifesting. also a little tool is, for example, if you see someone in a happy relationship just affirm something like "aww they remind me of my sp and i! we act just like that!" or if you see someone you think is pretty/has a feature you want: "omg, my [facial feature] looks just like theirs!" "my body looks just like theirs, but im skinnier!" "wow they're almost as pretty as me!" etc

something i do when i have to deal with my 3d is affirm in my head that i dont know why im bothering to do that thing when i know i have my manifestation. using the example you did, when i'd be studying i'd be like "ugh i dont even know why im bothering to study when i already know everything about this topic and know im gonna ace this test no matter what. im wasting my time studying when i know im literally guaranteed to pass"

i know it's hard not to complain, but you are not a victim to your own thoughts. you have to force yourself, even if it's hard. "i can't help myself" yes u can!!! u are god!!!! force yourself to stop. give a simple answer and then change the topic.

similar to the last answer. don't lie bc that will stress yourself out. give a simple answer and then change the subject. then affirm the opposite in your head. once is enough if you only said one thing to your friend!! don't start complaining. you have the power to stop yourself. no one can force you to talk about something you don't want to talk about.

the way i deal with depressive episodes is listening o affirmation tapes and focusing on my self concept. i also force myself to keep my mind busy. i read, or play a video game, or watch a show/move (not one that's depressing or heavy). and remember that you can still manifest even when you're depressed!!

you don't have to be in any specific state to manifest!! your dominant thoughts manifest. as long as you're affirming for your desire more than you're affirming the opposite/the old story, you will be fine!!

that just reminded me of another thing u can add to ur routine!! write a script that is everything you want your dream life to be like and read it at least once a day to remind yourself of your new story. this would be a great thing to do before you get out of bed in the morning!! u can write it in your notes app!

since you say u like to read my posts to motivate yourself, throughout your day if you feel yourself struggling ask yourself "what would rem do?" "would rem be proud of me if she knew what i was doing/thinking about rn?" "what would rem say about this?" etc. hopefully that'll be a good source of motivation/comfort for you!!

if you are doubting, spiraling, thinking of giving up, tell yourself that's your ego. i always do this, i tell myself it's because im so close to my manifestation and the universe/my ego is trying to trip me up. take it as a sign/birds before land. keep going keep going keep going!!

you got this angel, i know you do!!! i believe in your 100%! you are perfectly capable. make me proud!! 🤍

[bakugohoex]

“that’s literally the definition of jealous, you dumbass”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: explicit language and kissing

word count: 2500+

a/n: hey this is my first one shot on tumblr, i haven’t written in almost 3 years now and i thought i should get back into it, so here i am. hope you guys enjoy it.

summary: in which bakugo finds y/n and todoroki getting closer than normal, the more he sees them together the more rage he builds up over someone who he thought was just an extra to him

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

It wasn’t like you weren’t friends with Bakugo, you were, there had never been any formal introductions at the beginning of class 1-a, instead a quirk test. It wasn’t that it was boring to see people’s quirks but the only one that stood out was Bakugo’s, his ability to reach the top made you admire him until he opened his mouth. You had just scrapped number 2 on the stupid test something you were proud of, it being the first time you could use your quirk without damage.

He had come up to you by the end of the day, rambling on about some Deku kid who you assumed was the guy who broke his finger. “Fucking Deku” he hadn’t bothered introducing himself and instead rambled on about how much he hated this Deku kid.

“Who are you?” You look at him with the most unamusable face as he stared back watching you intensively.

“Katsuki, Katsuki Bakugo.”

“Oh, okay and why are you talking to me?” You longed out the ‘and’ questioning, why had some boy who you had just met following you and rambling about some Deku.

He stares at you as the both of you continue to walk out of UA, “you got second, just after me dumbass, you need to know that you’ll never beat me.”

“Oh, is this like a i’m not here to make friends you’re all just insignificant to my life kinda routine.” You cocked your head back in a laugh as he huffs in agreement to what you said starting to walk away.

“Nice to meet you Bakugo I’m y/n y/l/n.” The smirk that was plastered on your face making the explosive boy become even more angry.

Even with that being the first encounter with Bakugo there continued to be many more, even helping to find Bakugo after he was captured by the league of villains and the dorm system being implemented. Moments occurred where both Bakugo and you would spend lunches and breaks talking to each other even occasionally walking to and from school.

The relationship wasn’t conventional, but you were friends in some way, so when Bakugo saw something he never expected he was angry, not just normal Bakugo angry though the rage he held was something more, something he couldn’t explain.

“Todoroki look what I got last weekend?” You left your desk, your presence clearly making Bakugo turn around as he saw you sitting on Todoroki’s desk as he sat in his seat. Your legs were swinging with your skirt riding to your thighs. You were showing him something on your phone as Bakugo tried to see, angry that you were that close to that extra and even showing him your legs that were covered by your thigh highs that pushed your thighs together. “Do you like it?”

He heard Todoroki reply making his blood boil, “any guy would love that y/n”. He could hear your laugh as he turned around not wanting to see any more, as he was writing something the pen snapped before throwing it in the bin just missing Mineta who was sharpening his pencil.

This wasn’t the last time he was going to see you and Todoroki spending time together, a couple hours after the first incident he watched as he saw you with your bento box you were talking to Todoroki again, Bakugo was about to call out to you to tell you to join him and Kirishima but instead you turned around showing Todoroki your arm which has the scar that you had told Bakugo about months prior. He wasn’t jealous it was just a stupid story of you falling when you were a kid, so why was he angry again. Did he think it was some private secret between the two of you?  Todoroki and you walked to where Izuku was and sat beside them.

“Fucking Deku” He mutters as he watches you smile at a shitty joke Izuku probably said.

Bakugo stood up not wanting to see anymore knowing he’d break something again, he walked out of the lunch room as he went to get some air, his quirk wanting to be released. He hid his palms as sweat was building up, he couldn’t wait for some training later. All the pent-up anger he had would finally be gone and he wouldn’t have to see you all up in Todoroki.

As Bakugo was walking back to lunch he could hear your voice ringing in his ears, “Shoto” you face him as he smiles at you, “why does everybody like you? Is it because you’re hot and cool” you laugh as Shoto gave a smile at your idiotic behaviour, trying to supress a laugh at how bad the joke was. Bakugo didn’t want to hear your laugh especially beside Todoroki and even worse you were calling him Shoto. He was still Bakugo, why hadn’t it changed, he’d known you longer, you were friends, weren’t you?

The day continued, you were luckily paired up with Momo who wasn’t as harsh as the guys were, it went a lot quicker than usual, and as you finished getting changed, you left for the dorms. Shoto was waiting outside as you ran up smiling at him as you pushed into him your arms touching, Bakugo had come out at the same time, he was going to ask you to walk to the dorms, immediately his face fell as he saw your arms touching Todoroki.

“Everything all right.” Kirishima asked as he saw Bakugo’s face fall.

Bakugo quickly became his normal angry self, “I want to be in fucking bed.”

“Woah its not even 8PM yet.” Kirishima laughed as they walked back to the dorms.

Arriving at the dorms, Bakugo saw you and Mina on the couch, you were still wearing your uniform with you tie hanging off your neck as the front three buttons were unbuttoned, you’d taken off your shoes left in your socks that you’d brought from your knees down to your ankles.

Both of you hadn’t realised Bakugo was behind you before Mina started speaking again, “you still like him then.”

“Duh! Of course, I do, have you seen him?” You sign leaning against the couch.

Bakugo continued to listen, you liked someone? Who was it? It better not be fucking Icy Hot!

“Well I don’t know; you always hide your feelings from me.”

You look up at Mina, “Oh shut up, I need my bed, Momo hit me across the room.”

“Sounds like you’re changing the subject Y/n” You had stood up putting your socks back to your thighs as you did so.

You stick your tongue out as you flipped her off, “Fuck off.” You laugh walking out of the room.

Bakugo pretended to be walking towards you as if he hadn’t heard anything, “Hey Bakugo, I haven’t seen you all day.” You smile as he gives a scowl.

“Why would I want to see you anyway?” He crossed his arms walking past you.

Hurt. You felt hurt, you’d thought your relationship with Bakugo was improving but now it just seemed like he didn’t care about you even as a friend. “Fuck, how am I supposed to tell him I like him.” You whisper as you walk to the elevator.

The next day rolled out quickly, both Bakugo and you not even looking at each other, Bakugo would normally come in and turn around to see your face every morning, nothing this morning though. You looked down. Had you done something wrong?

You had been partnered up with Shoto which you were happy about needing a friend, the scowl on Bakugo’s face said the opposite for him. He watched as the both of you were sparring, seeing Todoroki hitting you with ice and you were hitting him back with your own quirk.

“Bakugo pay attention.” Kirishima shouted as he was running towards the explosive boy.

Bakugo kept watching before he saw you trip up on Todoroki causing the both of you to fall, you had landed on the hard chest of Todoroki, his arms wrapped around your waist, you both looked at each other staring into each other’s eyes. Your legs were inside his own, laughing in embarrassment as you both stayed in the position to work out the best way to get out of it.

That’s what started it, the blood boiling as Bakugo had watched the scene, you both laughing, finally helping each other get up, you were touching hands, arms, bodies something Bakugo hadn’t done with you. He wasn’t jealous, it wasn’t jealousy. He kept telling himself but with the explosion in his hands that flamed up into a bright yellow hue that looked like it could harm All Might himself, Bakugo threw it at Kirishima who had hardened just in time as he had witnessed Bakugo’s eyes go a blood red.

Kirishima fell to the ground as everybody saw him on the ground, “Kirishima” you say running to him alongside the whole class.

Questions came from the whole class as Bakugo stood there before storming away, you noticed the blond boy leave as you quickly followed trying to not be caught by Aizawa. Bakugo was pacing quickly away as you had to run to catch up to him.

“Bakugo.” You shout as he stops, he slowly turns around his eyes still a blood red looking to murder.

“What?” He spits out.

You walk closer to him, “Where are you going?”

“None of your damn business shitty woman.” You looked up at him before huffing.

This had been the second time Bakugo had let his feelings control his mouth in front of you and it was making it harder to see if he had any feelings back for you.

You spoke as he was looking around, “you don’t need to be a dick.”

You walk back to the class, to make sure Kirishima was fine. He wasn’t hurt that badly, but he already knew that to be partnered up with Bakugo was a cause for disaster to occur. Bakugo had come back and was shouting at something Sero had said as he had been made to partner up with Sero in the meantime. He would give sly looks at you and Todoroki who continued to talk to like a normal person would. Bakugo had finally realised that he had fucked it with you, and you were better off with Icy Hot.

After the class got dismissed you and Todoroki walked back to the dorms again, this time Bakugo couldn’t handle seeing the both of you so close, he pushed past Todoroki hitting shoulders. You look at him as Todoroki was fine but the anger you felt was building up.

“Are you okay?” You ask Todoroki as you both walk into the dorms.

“Yeah I’ve had a lot worse from Bakugo.” He laughs as you give a small smile, he walks towards his room as you go into the elevator, pressing the floor that had Bakugo’s room in.

You paced outside his room contemplating if you should even go inside and shout at him, you finally got the nerves and knocked on the door.

“Who the fuck is it?”

“It’s me.” Bakugo opens the door seeing your frame against his you were wearing you uniform with your tie stuffed in your bag that you’d chucked in your room.

“What the fuck do you want?” He hissed, you barged passed him as he rolled his eyes closing the door as you crossed your arms glaring at him.

He stood in front of you looking pissed, “What the fuck is your problem, first you hurt Kirishima and now you’re getting pissed at Todoroki, what is going on?”

He stays silent, “Really silence, Bakugo fucking tell me what’s going on, we’re…” you pause thinking, did Bakugo even class you as a friend, or where you just another extra to him. “friends.” You finally say.

“I was worried for you that’s all I just don’t want you to get close to Todoroki and get hurt cause then you’ll be sad and you won’t work to your potential and then you won’t be worthy competition.”

You stare at him, thinking of the bullshit you just heard come from his mouth, “Wut?”

“I said what I said.”

“Bakugo you do realise that doesn’t even fucking correlate together.” You look at him as he stares at you, “You’re not jealous or something.”

“What the fuck? No! Of Icy Hot? I’m better than him in every single way. He’s not good at anything, the only difference between us is that he has you and I don’t, I don’t care though, who needs you? I don’t!” The malice dripping from his tongue as he moves closer to you, you could almost feel his body heat against yours.

You look at him smugly, “That’s literally the definition of jealous, you dumbass.”

“I’m not fucking jealous.”

“Whatever.” You mutter before moving closer to him, “if you were I wouldn’t worry I only have eyes for one person…” You stand on your toes going to his ear as you can see his ears turn red, “and its most definitely not Shoto.”

You let go of him as your hands had gone to his chest, he stares down at you, “who is it then?”

Even with him asking casually you could see his eyes watching inventively, “I thought you didn’t care about me.”

“I don’t”

You start walking to his door as he looks at you, “I think I’ll ask him out actually.” You open the door but as soon as Bakugo heard those words he slams the door shut, his arm pushing the door closed as your head was just touching it.

“You are not leaving this fucking room.” He shouts as you cock your head to the side looking at him.

“And why not.” He pauses before speaking, “Don’t be a slut.”

“A slut? Don’t be jealous Katsuki.” You had said his first name without even realising, Bakugo’s eyes fell softly as he stared at you.

“Who do you like?” His arm was still on the door as he looked down almost embarrassed at ignoring your statement.

This was your chance, just say it, say his name Y/n. Do it!

“He’s here right now” You finally mustered out as he looked at you his eyes going wide, he doesn’t speak, just admired processing what he had just heard.

Your back had been to the door as his hand travelled to your throat softly grabbing it as he brought your lips to him, his lips were soft compared to your chapped lips, finally gaining moisture, the kiss became hungrier and hungrier. His hand choking you slightly as you were in between him pressed against the door, his other hand had travelled to your waist, with your hands in his hair. Slowly pushing himself onto you as you felt the kiss deepen.

You both let go to feel air before you finally spoke, the distance between your lips being a mere centimetre, “maybe I was jealous.” He spoke softly.

 “Maybe?” You give a small giggle as you both go in for another kiss, feeling his warmth and safety around you. 

If you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and I’ll add you xx

[restapesta]

gossip never ends

Mickey Milkovich simply just showed up one day at the Old Army, tattoos on his knuckles and a scowl on his face. Lola couldn't help but be intrigued -- nobody lasts here long enough to pique her interest, but there was something special about this guy. The gossip spreads like wildfire, but Mickey's something else altogether -- it's just a matter of time before Lola and her friends figured out why.

OR: How Mickey's coworkers found out about who Mickey really was back in season 10 -- this is more of an outlook on Mickey and his feelings throughout season 10 and how it reflected on his job and altogether his demeanor.

This is based on a prompt by @whatwouldmickeydo which was also even more explored by one of my favorite Gallavich accounts on Tumblr @ianandmickeygallavich -- so, I simply just worked through what they had already created. I hope they don't mind I used their prompt and this is dedicated to both of them! Enjoy!

words: 5.3k

The gossip began almost the exact moment Mickey was introduced to the three workers by the manager.

The Old Army staff was not a stranger to new workers coming and going, some people sticking around longer, working for a couple of months without stop, maybe even sticking around for a full-time position; some just passing through while on trial-basis, failing to meet the manager's demands and simply moving on to find better or more fitting employment -- but the sight of Mickey Milkovich was definitely not something, Lola thought, anybody, not just the curious employees, was used to.

Lola fell into the group of people who had been working at the store for ages now, starting years ago and still sticking around now, subsequently being present for all the biggest changes made to and within the popular store. She saw the interior change, the managers shift, the employees getting hired and fired -- she saw it all. It couldn't be said for many people. Honestly, only three members of the Old Army staff had actually been working full-time here, while everybody else was just a passing face.

She was so used to seeing new faces that it simply did not phase her anymore -- Lola had her own stable position in the store; she had her colleagues which she got along with, and she never paid much attention to the newbies once they came into the store. She knew it was almost always just for a short while, basically until they made a mistake while working and got politely declined for the position, so she usually just remained civil, not engaging in much mingling or bonding -- it wouldn't last anyway.

The staff change happened way too often, especially with security. The store management had no idea how to pick the right person for the job -- they either always chose the gangly, skinny types; the ones who couldn't defend others or themselves from a burglar if their life depended on it, or they chose the fatties who had a donut too many during their break and couldn't chase ten feet after the culprit.

Still, this guy -- this new, weirdly interesting guy -- seemed promising.

Lola had no idea where they managed to find him -- he was kinda hot, and definitely in really good shape with thighs and calves that could probably kill if they wanted to. He seemed crude and unapproachable, and the brooding, mysterious attitude definitely didn't quench anybody's curiosity as to where the hell he came from and how the hell they managed to find him of all the people in the world. A scowl was constantly etched on the newcomer's face -- not just when he was being introduced to the staff by the manager, as Lola thought would be the case -- but literally at every single given moment of the workday.

There were only rare moments Lola and the others saw him smile -- usually every single one of those moments being when he was texting someone during his break, or when he was coming back from having lunch with someone at the food court. Not that anyone would dare ask who, although they definitely speculated.

Mickey was the type of guy Lola was interested in making friends with. She approached him once during their shared shift -- usually, she wouldn't even bother, seeing how these guards come and go, but this one really piqued her interest -- trying to figure out who he was, where he came from, what he was doing here. Was he single? She needed to know for her lady friend considering how he was most definitely a sight for sore eyes.

It came as somewhat a surprise when he gave off clipped answers to her questions, most of them not even answering.

"Did you always work security?" She'd ask with a bright smile.

"You could say that."

Silence.

"How long are you planning on staying with us?" Trial-basis or undefined employment? Lola wondered silently.

"Until Larry finds me a better job."

Silence.

"Who?"

Silence. And then a quick, "Never mind."

Lola had officially given up on her efforts to befriend and find out more about the man once Mickey gave her a sharp, pointed stare after she pointed out he didn't have a ring on his finger, hoping he would reveal his relationship status to her.

She most certainly wasn't that lucky, and she almost shat her pants at the murderous expression on his face. She didn't ask again.

The others tried to pry information out of Mickey too, but they certainly lacked the subtlety Lola had. She honestly couldn't say she was the most discreet person in the world, but she was in the Old Army, considering how she found herself working with the two most non-discreet people in the world. Lola was upfront too -- let's not get that wrong.

But at least she didn't outright ask him if he was in a gang like Jeremy did.

"I wanted to know if the tattoos were gang symbols! They freaked me out!" The skinny twenty-year-old replied when the other workers gaped at him with wide eyes.

Jenna shook her head. "Dude, you can't just ask a guy if he was in a gang."

He wouldn't reveal his age, let alone his gang status if he had one, Lola scolded Jeremy mentally. The guy was as open as a seashell -- you could try and pry it open to see if it had a pearl inside, but you'll most likely fail and, to be honest, probably get pinched in the process, if not careful. It was perhaps best not to even try or, if you did, to proceed with extreme caution. A bunch of seashells didn't even have pearls in them anyway, so it'd all be useless in the end.

It only took a week for the staff to find out how Mickey managed to find himself here at Old Army out of all the possible places in the world. It was a shock, to say the least.

One morning, the revelation came when Larry Seaver showed up to the store, dressed in a nice suit and tie, wearing his casual, perky smile. He asked for the manager and had greeted Mickey immediately once he laid eyes on the man. Larry approached him as Jeremy went to get the manager, placing a firm hand on Mickey's shoulder, smiling widely at him.

Lola and Jenna weren't snooping, but they did manage to overhear Larry asking Mickey if he enjoyed working here; if everything was going well; if he was staying out of trouble -- a question that certainly didn't help stop the gossip -- and if he settled in home nicely.

Mickey responded to most of his questions with short, non-descriptive answers, but not with any malice or disdain. He answered them as if he had to, putting an emphasis on the "I'm not getting into any trouble, don't worry Mr. Cheery," making Lola wonder why the question even needed to be posed.

When the manager finally showed up, greeting the man happily, Larry followed him to his office, leaving the others to get back to the customers -- and some to get back to stopping crime. It was only when Larry Seaver left that Jenna shouted, "Oh my God, he's a parole officer!" at the other two workers while drinking coffee in the break room.

"He's a what?" Jeremy asked, slightly confused.

"A parole officer! I heard him talking to the manager about Mickey and how he's settling in. Mickey is a parolee!"

"Jesus Christ, I knew it! And you told me I shouldn't be scared." Jeremy answered with a sullen look, exaggerating a shudder.

Lola quirked an eyebrow at her friend. "Were you eavesdropping?" She was more amused than surprised if she was honest.

Jenna shook her head at Lola in exasperation. "So not the point. Lola, the guy went to prison!"

"We should all just quit now," Jeremy added.

"Come on, you big baby. The guy keeps to himself. You have literally nothing to be scared of." Lola was rolling her eyes at the man, slightly annoyed at the comments.

It didn't surprise her Mickey was here on parole -- it didn't surprise her he was in prison at all. He seemed like the type, not just because of his sullen look and crude knuckle tattoos. It also had a lot to do with the way he carried himself as if the entire world was against him and he needed to protect himself from the inevitable upcoming battle. It was probably why he never spoke to anybody, why he never had coffee with them, and why he seemed to avoid human contact at all possible times. It was also, now, very much obvious why he was so good at guarding the store -- it takes a criminal to catch a criminal, she guessed.

Honestly, it all just made him more interesting.

"I kind of think it's hot," Jenna admitted sheepishly.

Jeremy's eyes bulged out. "You're kidding me."

She shook her head, smiling like a teenage girl. "He's dark, brooding, mysterious. And he's got a really nice ass."

Lola laughed at her friend and at Jeremy's horrified expression. "You should go flirt with him. Maybe you'll be able to figure out if he's single or not." She was only partly joking. Jenna probably didn't need a repeat of what Lola had gone through.

She sighed sadly. "A guy like that is not single."

"Yeah, sure. An ex-con definitely isn't single and is probably in an extremely committed relationship with somebody who loves him for who he is. And that same ex-con guy totally loves somebody back with his whole, entire heart." Jeremy quipped sarcastically and Jenna pinched his bicep in response.

"Love is love, asshole. People murder for love."

Jeremy nodded in response. "Exactly. That's probably why he was in prison."

Jenna rolled her eyes. "You know what? Unlike Jeremy here, I'm not a pussy. I'm gonna go talk to him."

Lola's eyes widened in response and she smiled widely. If anyone would take the bullet for the team, it'd be Jenna. "You go, girl! Get him. Just make sure to be subtle about it"

Jeremy and Lola watched as Jenna went up to Mickey who was standing next to the Old Army store entrance, looking as bored and uninterested as ever. When he saw Jenna approaching, he grimaced, obviously preparing himself for the confrontation.

Jeremy and Lola locked eyes as Jenna began to audibly flirt with Mickey. They couldn't hear everything she was saying from where they were eavesdropping but they didn't hear Mickey even speak. Based on the disappointed look on Jenna's face when she walked into the break room again, they didn't think it went that well.

"So?" Lola inquired hopefully.

Jenna shook her head. "Completely uninterested. I even made my boobs look bigger in this shirt. Didn't work, obviously."

"What'd he say?" Lola probed deeper.

"Well, I asked where he lived, where he used to work, if he was settling in nicely -- and he just kind of hummed."

"Hummed?"

"He barely even answered the questions."

"Maybe he's gay and in a committed relationship with a dude," Jeremy added sarcastically, once again. "Maybe I should go up and flirt with him instead. See if it works for me."

Jenna rolled her eyes at Jeremy's sarcasm. "You're too big of a pussy to do it. Plus he's probably not gay."

Jeremy didn't rise to the bait. Instead, he just smiled. "Whatever you say, Jenny. Oh, by the way -- I totally am."

Mickey never spent his break with the others. In fact, he was either sitting outside the store, drinking Pinkberry and messing around with his phone, or he was at the food court, presumably meeting somebody for lunch. Lola was dying to know who, but she never dared to ask or to check, although it would have been so easy.

The curiosity extended out of the workplace as well -- Jenna, Lola, and Jeremy had a group chat. It was, at first, formed as a work chat, purely for announcements and work hours, but as time passed -- and as the employees and employers changed -- it evolved into something much more. Now, it was their main gossiping media.

 --- old army besties ---

LOLA (9:56 PM): I can't find him anywhere on social media.

JEREMY (9:58 PM): You're obsessed.

LOLA (9:58 PM): Fuck off, Jeremy.

JENNA (10:03 PM): There are a bunch of articles about him escaping prison!!!!!!!!!

LOLA (10:04 PM): NO SHIT

LOLA (10:04 PM): LINK NOW

LOLA (10:04 PM): !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JENNA (10:06 PM): https://images.app.goo.gl/rzDzCogf1H84QD78A

JENNA (10:06 PM): HEHAGDJADGAIGDAJFGAJFGAJFGA

LOLA (10:08 PM): oh my god

JENNA (10:08 PM): I KNOW

JEREMY (10:07 PM): ya'll are crazy

JENNA (10:08 PM): Is it bad it just makes me even more attracted to him??????

JEREMY (10:09 PM): yes.

LOLA (10:09 PM): NO!

LOLA (10:10 PM): Jenna, same.

JEREMY (10:11 PM): I have a psych ward to recommend you to. Hold up.

JENNA (10:11 PM): Jeremy, stfu

*JEREMY has left the chat*

LOLA (10:12 PM): You wanna add him back in or should I?

JENNA (10:12 PM): Neither.

JENNA (10:12 PM): Let him suffer.

 The gossiping continued for a while. It didn't honestly seem like it would stop at all, and nobody really seemed inclined to put an end to the wildfire gossip that spread through the entire Old Army staff. Not that anyone cared much, either, if they were being completely honest.

One day, though, the Mickey who was always grumpy and never without a scowl seemed particularly furious.

He spoke to no one, he didn't check his phone at all, which was a rare occurrence and almost never happened -- he was usually glued to the thing, always texting someone -- and he basically looked like he was ready to kill the next person who dared steal something from the store.

"Anyone wanna ask what crawled up his ass and died?" Jenna asked lowly, observing Mickey from where she and Lola stood behind the cash register. Jeremy hung around in the back, angry that they still hadn't added him back to the group chat.

Lola simply grimaced. "I guess we've been dealing with happy Mickey all this time."

Jeremy pretended not to pay much attention to them, very much bitter. He just muttered, as a side note, loud enough to get even Mickey's attention, "Yo, I guess they found who killed that parole officer."

That piqued Lola's interest. The murder was all over the news the day before -- a parole officer named Paula had been thrown out the window -- and Lola didn't expect them to have found the killer so soon.

"Already?" She wondered, out loud.

"Who is it?" Jenna asked.

"Some ex of hers -- Shelly, I think. They arrested her yesterday."

Lola released a sigh. "That's some good news. Now she can't hurt anybody else." She mentally applauded the police for the good and quick work.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Mickey was listening in to their conversation. She could have sworn she heard him snort when she muttered the last part, the one about it being good news. She saw an opening, and when Lola began to open her mouth and try and include him in the conversation, he had already turned around and left to stand back at his regular spot, expression sullen, pretending as if he never even cared to listen in after all.

Mickey was gone all of a sudden one day -- as the manager had told them briefly, on paid leave. He didn't reveal why or when he'd be coming back, only saying how Mickey had something important come up, and that he'd eventually be back. He didn't seem to be aggravated while talking about Mickey, so Lola guessed he didn't get fired, nor that he was being tested again for his position -- he had honestly been doing great. Better than the ones before him, at least.

Lola was actually somewhat shocked. She was also slightly disappointed he didn't tell her.

Mickey had actually started opening up a little -- not much (when she said little she meant very little) -- but he was finally communicating with them during their shift together, something he most certainly hadn't even tried to do, no matter how hard they tried to push. He also seemed happier, coming in one morning looking the happiest Lola had ever seen him.

It was the first day Mickey made actual conversation with her -- about the ugly clothes in the store, nevertheless -- and she genuinely was starting to like him.

"Maybe he likes you," Jenna told her after noticing them talking.

Lola blushed. "Probably not."

Jeremy snorted and both women turned towards him. "He's probably more attracted to me than you." He muttered absentmindedly while scrolling through his phone.

"Still sticking to the gay theory?" Jenna asked pointedly.

"I may not be dark, brooding, and mysterious, but my gaydar is on point. At first, I was skeptical, but he rocks that pink pastel shirt a little too well." He said, a small smile playing on his lips.

Jenna and Lola shared a look before both rolling their eyes.

"Let's hope he asks you out." Jenna finished and Lola blushed even more. Stupid crush. Jeremy snorted.

She was a little disappointed he was gone but his step-in was a cute guy and the gossip between her, Jeremy, and Jenna was endless -- Jenna and Lola came up with different theories as to where he was which all ranged from family emergencies to crazy prison breaks -- Jeremy would simply roll their eyes at them whenever a new theory came up.

When Mickey came back a couple of days later, it seemed as if he had a spring in his step. For the first time in all the time Lola had known him, instead of a scowl, there was a smile present on his face.

"Holy shit, he's smiling." Jenna pointed out incredulously, and Lola simply nodded shell-shocked. He had a beautiful smile.

It was even weirder when he greeted them when he walked into the store, uttering a simple, "Hey" which neither woman expected.

"So, that's happy Mickey," Lola said under her breath. "Good to know."

The sudden chirpiness didn't disappear throughout his entire shift and Lola began to wonder what type of vacation he had gone on to be this happy. She needed to ask him -- if it could take the stick out of his ass, then it could definitely make her feel like she was in heaven.

The answer came shortly after.

"He's got a ring on his finger."

"What?" Lola and Jenna exclaimed simultaneously, looking at Jeremy like he was crazy.

"The hell are you talking about?" Jenna asked, glancing between Jeremy and Mickey, inconspicuously trying to catch a glimpse of Mickey's hand.

"He's married, guys. He probably got married while he was away. There is a golden band on his ring finger."

Lola and Jenna were surprised they missed it. The ring shone brightly on his left hand, reflecting the shitty lighting of the Old Army store. It looked beautiful and, somehow, it made him look complete. She didn't even realize something was missing until it was there, staring straight at them. That's what the wedding ring seemed like -- a piece of Mickey they were all simply missing. Something that let them know that there was somebody in his life, a single person, who had his heart -- a person who managed to pry open the shell and find the pearl. Perhaps the process was painless; perhaps it wasn't -- Lola supposed there were only two people in the universe who truly knew the answer to that question.

"Well, I didn't see that coming."

Lola chuckled, letting the genuine happiness she felt for him consume her. "Me either."

The next time she passed him, she smiled at the ring widely. "Congratulations! I see the ring." She pointed at his hand.

Mickey smiled softly, gazing at it with a look in his eye Lola could only describe as love. "Yeah, thanks."He seemed a little uncomfortable, so Lola refrained from asking about his wife, and if he had any pictures to show her. She was learning new things about this man every day. The woman who tied him down must have been patient, but also extremely lucky.

"Ugh, I wish he was single," Jenna muttered again later on in the day, gazing longingly at Mickey's ass. "That butt makes the whole ex-con, escaping prison thing worth it."

Lola laughed at her friend, agreeing silently.

It was nearing the end of their shift, and the four people had changed out of their uniforms, getting rid of the ugly pastel pink color, exchanging it with something that was actually fashionable -- Mickey had an especially good fashion sense, in Lola's opinion (he could rock ripped jeans). Mickey had still been in the staff changing room when Lola noticed a guy hanging around the store. A tall, extremely hot redheaded guy, with one of the best bodies she'd seen on a man in a while.

She shook Jenna's arm so she could point out the guy to her, aware that Jenna deserved to gaze at a man this good-looking. He was wearing a tight-fitting black shirt along with skinny jeans that accentuated all of his muscles, from the ones in his arms to his leg ones -- he was ripped, and Lola could only assume there were chiseled abs hiding underneath the shirt. He was drop-dead gorgeous.

Jenna turned around to see what the fuss was about, but her mouth fell open when her eyes landed in the ginger.

"Oh my God, I think just came."

"Me too," Lola admitted. She was genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. "I think we need to get laid."

"Definitely." Jenna's eyes were glued to the man. His hair was perfect too -- slicked back, and just... it was a sort of, ' you simply had to see it to believe it' type of situation. He was beautiful. "Man, how the fuck does God create these men?"

Jenna didn't tear her eyes away. "He must be either really bad in bed or a total douchebag. There's no way he's that hot and nice too."

They suddenly heard Mickey's voice behind them. "Trust me, he's neither."

Lola and Jenna jumped in surprise, but she didn't even have a moment to think about what Mickey said. She was still looking at the ginger, but his green eyes were locked on somebody else though, and he didn't even seem to notice the two women gaping openly at him.

When Lola turned to follow his gaze she was surprised to see it land on Mickey.

"Oh my dear Lord, he's totally eye-fucking Mickey!" She whisper-shouted at Jenna, Mickey being far away not to hear her. Jenna whipped her head around towards where Mickey stood, seemingly unaware.

"Oh my God, he totally is!"

Mickey noticed them staring. He raised an eyebrow at the two women and then as if on a whim, approached them. "You need anything?" He asked, seemingly uncomfortable, but he still paid no attention to the fact a guy was blatantly letting it show on his face that he was imagining all of the things he could probably be doing to Mickey, right now. The redhead had the biggest case of bed-eyes she'd seen in a while.

Lola blinked herself out of her daze. "Um, no. Uh, we just-- we, uh--" She was at a loss for words and Jenna didn't seem to even think about helping.

"Ugh, God." They suddenly heard Jeremy exclaim. All eyes turned to him. "There's a really hot guy outside the store, and he's staring at you." He made a gesture as if saying, 'See, that wasn't so hard now, was it?'. "That's what they're trying to say."

Mickey turned to look forward outside and when his gaze fell on the guy -- the guy he had most certainly already noticed -- his face lit up even more, and his lip curled into a smirk. He turned towards Jeremy and nodded at him. "Glad to see you toughening up."

Jeremy smiled at Mickey as if they were sharing an inside joke, and both Lola and Jenna had no idea what it was. They shared a disbelieving look. "Learned from the best, man," Jeremy replied as they fist-bumped and Lola knew her and Jenna's eyes had to be unnaturally wide.

"So um, so you know the guy outside? He's totally checking you out." Jenna nodded at the hot guy who was still watching them -- watching Mickey, specifically. Lola guessed he was waiting for him, for whatever reason. She guessed hot guys stuck together. If he wasn't a ginger, Lola would have assumed they were brothers and that the good looks simply ran in the gene pool. Lola watched as Mickey locked eyes with the man and smiled. The guy raised his eyebrows in question and Mickey just kept the grin on his face.

"That's Ian, my husband."

Shock couldn't even begin to describe what Lola was currently feeling. If somebody had dumped a bucket of ice-cold water down her back, she would have probably been less surprised. As she was contemplating everything she knew and had been learning about Mickey, the man in question waved towards Ian to join them. Ian made his way inside and Lola could lie and say she didn't swoon.

"Hi." He greeted sheepishly with a smile, previously observing the commotion.

Mickey seemed unnaturally relaxed as he stood close to Ian, wrapping a hand behind his back subconsciously. Lola wondered who the man in front of her was -- it most certainly wasn't the grump Lola had been working with all this time.

"Ian, meet Lola, Jenna, and Jeremy."

Ian smiled politely at all three of them, leaving Lola in a daze -- God, he was gorgeous. She was just about to reply when he nodded at Jeremy specifically. "Sup, Jeremy. Heard a lot about you."

Jeremy smiled back at Ian. "Same, dude. Your husband just can't seem to shut up about you."

Ian smirked, and then turned to look at Mickey, "Is that so?"

Mickey rolled his eyes. "Fuck you both. I got married. What am I supposed to do? Just shut up about it? Hell no."

Ian laughed and draped an arm around Mickey's shoulder. "Don't worry, baby. I don't mind."

Ian and Mickey shared a quick look, and Lola wondered if she would ever find a person who would look at her the way these two men looked at each other. She suddenly felt bad for thinking Mickey was straight -- everything about this simple interaction screamed gay.

"We should head home, I know you've been waiting for ages outside."

Ian nodded. "Yeah okay, let's go." He then smiled at the three people in front of them widely. "It was nice meeting you guys."

Jeremy was the only one capable of responding. "You too."

"See ya'," Mickey muttered lamely as a goodbye and the couple was out of the store in the blink of an eye, arms wrapped around each other, talking quietly, their expressions pure happiness.

Lola and Jenna turned around to stare at their friend.

"What the fuck was that?" Lola asked, incredulous.

The traitor in front of them shrugged. "What? While you guys were coming up with conspiracies and weird theories, I actually talked to the guy. He's pretty cool. He was raised and lives on the Southside where he met Ian. He first spent some time in juvie. Got shot twice. Went to prison, escaped from prison, went to Mexico, worked for a cartel, rolled on said cartel be with Ian. They were in prison together and they decided to get married when they got out. He's actually been giving me tips to boost my street cred. We've been working on that shit for some time now."

Lola shook her head in thought. "When did you guys become so close?"

Jeremy snorted. "When you decided not 5o add me back to the group chat, bitches." He smirked. "Revenge is a dish best served cold." As an afterthought, he added, "I'm not dark and brooding, but I guess I can add mysterious to my list of charms."

Lola and Jenna watched him as he turned around.

"Is it just me or did he suddenly get hot?"

Lola sighed loudly. "I think we've been tricked."

Jenna groaned, suddenly. "I can't believe it. Two men that hot -- and they end up with each other. Like, what the fuck? Why can't there be one for me?"

Lola laughed, but, as always, silently agreed.

Everybody lost their jobs when the pandemic hit, and when the Old Army finally went back into business, Mickey Milkovich wasn't there. The gossip moved on to different topics and different employees -- the hot security guard was nothing but a distant memory.

The next time Lola saw them was years later. She was much older, much more experienced, and much more in love. She had met somebody, had fallen deep, and it had changed her life for the better.

Love was an interesting thing.

Mickey was standing at the corner of a street. The sun was shining brightly above him, and Lola realized he still looked as beautiful as ever -- his face was much more relaxed though as if the walls he had spent years putting up were suddenly all down, letting his pearl shine through, and glint in the sun. He was waiting for somebody outside of a store, and somehow, Lola knew it was his husband.

She couldn't remember his name, but she could never forget the look.

So many years had passed, and Lola had gone through so many relationships -- but the look was what always had her looking for more, never settling for anything short of what she knew she could have. What they showed her she could have.

Once she found someone who looked at her the way Ian -- Lola would only remember his name sometime later in the day -- looked at Mickey, and somebody she would look at the way Mickey looked at Ian -- that was when she'd know she had found the one.

Ian exited the store, much to Lola's expectation, his red hair, slightly grown out, fiery red in the Sun. The boy holding his hand was smiling widely, and the smile only grew once he saw Mickey.

The boy dropped Ian's hand and ran towards -- Lola simply knew -- his father, jumping into his arms. Mickey picked the small boy up effortlessly -- he was no older than five -- laughing along with him as the boy dove into, what Lola presumed, a story.

Ian and Mickey shared a look, so akin to the one they had shared that day, years ago, in the store, filled with so much love, adoration and happiness before focusing their gazes on their child. It wasn't just between them anymore -- the love they had was now for the little boy as well, nurturing and taking care of him, allowing him to bask in it. They probably didn't even realize they were doing it.

Lola felt tears in her eyes.

She had once searched for the look.

Now, she hoped she would one day be able to share this look with her own husband and her own child.

Lola patted her swollen belly.

One day.

She watched as the two men and boy pulled away, still listening to the story the boy was telling. Lola pulled her phone out as she watched their retreating forms.

Lola opened the group chat, typing excitedly.

 --- old army besties ---

LOLA (12:33 PM): You'll never guess who I just saw.

 She was thankful for many things Mickey Milkovich showed her, but the one thing she was grateful for the most was that thanks to him, the gossip never ended.

[genesisrose74]

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

[starryeyedrogue]

mental health & vent

again, a long one. please stick with me here.

tw: depression, anxiety, ptsd, epilepsy diagnosis, suicidal thoughts mention

hey everyone, like I said in my last post, I won’t be as active on here. this doesn’t mean I’m quitting by any means, I’m here for the long haul! I just need a break for a little bit. 

side note: I am not in any way suicidal or practicing self harm. this is just to vent and act as a PSA for my mutuals/followers.

now onto my main message. 

I’ve seen lots of posts about mental health lately, and I’m so incredibly proud of those who have spoken up. They’ve inspired me to make my own post, actually. normally I’d keep it to myself, but this time has been rough and I want to get it off my chest. I’ll probably delete this later, but still. 

I’ve been depressed. 

long story short, I had a very traumatic experience a couple years ago with an ex boyfriend (not going into it on this post, for details just dm me. not something I’d want to post publicly, this is just an explanation) and I was deeply depressed. I was never diagnosed “officially” because I was afraid to speak up, as this would expose what I was going through. I had really bad anxiety at that time too, and I still do. I also have PTSD flashbacks from it now and again. none of this was diagnosed, and I still don’t want to bring it up to my doctors/family. my irl friends don’t even know, at least not most of it. 

I have monoclonic epilepsy, which means my seizures are fairly small. my arms, legs, feet, hands, and fingers twitch, and I lose control for a few seconds. it doesn’t hurt, and sometimes I don’t even notice or remember it happening, but my family does. epilepsy in general runs in my family, and it can be triggered by a great deal of stress, lack of sleep, and of course flashing lights. in my case, I never “had” epilepsy or seizures until the “experience” I mentioned before, as it caused massive amounts of stress for about 2 years straight. it’s gotten better, as I now have medicine and am out of that situation, and I haven’t had a seizure since September, which is amazing and a huge blessing.

writing has helped with my depression and anxiety a lot, as I can write out what effects me the most. honestly, some of the characters are based off of myself (before vs after) and the person from the “experience.” this is just for therapeutic reasons, as I don’t really want to go to real therapy (I’d be too embarrassed to ask for it or talk to someone anyway, though I probably need to go eventually and plan to when I’m on my own). 

however, when I stopped posting it, I started feeling bad again. I didn’t think I needed to post my stories to feel better or to make a childhood dream into reality, but not posting it made me feel somehow worse. I’ve stopped writing as much, and I’ve lost motivation to do just about anything. I’m working on a couple things to help myself get out of this “funk,” but any tips would be greatly appreciated! 

this may seems stupid, but I’ve been depressed and very anxious about my schooling. I started in cyber security and got about halfway through, but I became depressed and had other issues so I didn’t finish the degree. now I’m starting in psychology, after praying for months and months for help with figuring out what to do for school. I finally got an answer, and that answer was to be a Christian counselor! I want to help as many people as I can, especially since I know how it feels to be anxious, depressed, and have PTSD. 

I’m dealing with a lot of changes right now, as I’m selling my first car, might have to move out of my first house/childhood home, and just a bunch of other stuff. this sounds trivial, but I hate change. it seriously stresses me out. my neurologist told me that if I have any more seizures, I won’t be able to drive for 6 months to a year to be safe (as I could have an “episode” as I call it while driving and hurt myself/others in a potential car accident). trust me, trying not to be stressed while being stressed, anxious, and depressed is not easy. 

on top of all that, my irl friends have all but abandoned me. I never hear from them (all but one, she’s the best!), and when I do they ignore me or pretend to listen when they obviously aren’t. I try to make plans with them, but they ignore me or just say “definitely!” but never try to set up times to hang out. It’s been almost two years since I’ve seen them all together. I was able to hang out with the friend I mentioned earlier to go to another friend’s recital, but that was it, and that was months ago. I totally get being busy, but I miss them and I don’t think they miss me, which really hurts. one friend ditched us on graduation day and we haven’t talked to her outside of “happy birthday,” or “@___ look at this thing I know you like,” which she never responded to. graduation was 4 years ago. I miss them all, even if they aren’t really my friends. I miss familiarity and their chaotic personalities. I’ve known them my entire life. honestly, I haven’t made any other friends irl, even though I’ve tried (I’m very introverted and a lot of people don’t get my humor/personality. I’m very much a mischievous old lady that uses weird wording (li.e. using uncommon words for my generation mixed with modern stuff, basically I sound like a vampire that’s been around since the 50s and mixes the eras together in some unholy mixture) at heart and I have very niche interests that I cling to like they’re my last hope). basically, making friends and meeting new people is hard for me for various reasons.

tumblr is different though, which I’m seriously grateful for! the people I’ve talked to are all so nice and really fun to talk to, and they’re part of why I’m posting this. @elvish-sky gave me the courage to post this and @hey-its-nonny and @padawansofthejediorder have been amazing and super nice to me, and I couldn’t be more grateful. the reason I’m posting this is to let them know what’s going on if I don’t respond to messages for a while, and to let them know what wonderful people they are and how much it means to me that they care about me, even if we’re just tumblr mutuals. I love you guys, thanks for being here! it means more than you know.

my mom and dad both had health scares recently, which made me spiral even more. I honestly don’t know what I would do if one of them died. they’re literally my world and my best friends, as ridiculous as that sounds. my mental health was so low I honestly thought I’d die too. they’re both fine now, which is truly a blessing and a massive relief. when I say I thought I’d die too, I don’t mean I wanted to commit suicide, but I honestly can’t imagine a world without my parents, especially my mom (hers was the main health scare, it was a case of reaction to a new medication for her migraines). we’re insanely close and she’s my best friend, as cheesy as that sounds. I don’t know what I would do without her. it’s making me teary just thinking about it. 

long story short, please be patient with me. I’m dealing with a lot right now, and I need some time to take a deep breath and focus on my mental health. if you have any suggestions/tips for dealing with depression, anxiety, and PTSD flashbacks, please let me know! 

for those I’ve tagged, you don’t have to reply or even read this whole thing if you want, I tagged you because I thought you’d like to know about this and/or I wanted to show my appreciation for your kindness!

I love you all, thanks for sticking around and listening to my rants. <3

[noahstayed]

Sorry if you've already answered these questions but I still want to ask them so...

1) Are you going to make another book after Earthshine?

(If the answer is yes; (and you don't have to answer this one,) Are you going to do a time skip or will you go the 'the condom broke'?)

2) Will Edward have a mate (If yes; will you create an OC or simply pluck a character from the twilight saga archives are revamp them?)

3) If you do make a version of Breaking Dawn, will it have the same premise (Ie. Wedding, Honeymoon, (I typed hUMANmoon and then corrected it, don't know why my fingers went there.) surprise pregnancy (or not? Because Carlisle is a DOCTOR) turning, then the Volturi going all "We must kill the child!"?)

4) With regards to question three, in the (honestly, and sadly, unlikely) ( completely forgot what word I was going to type, and It as too much trouble to type that so I'm just going to use another word that won't flow as well) situation (I'm so unhappy with this word, my stomach is turning something fierce, man.) that you DO go the standard "with the other book as a very, very, loose guideline) Would you go the route of OYH or would make an entirely new plot?

Also, if you do go with the same general outline, (which is unlikely since Irina isn't with Laurant in newmoon but with Charlie, so there's no bitter feelings and she won't immediately go to the kings before she's heard Carlisle's explanation.) How would you make that work?

5) I know you said that if you do make a fourth book you would just use the dhampire from OYH, Elisha, does that still reign true? Or are you planning to make a new character entirely?

6) If you do make a fourth, and go the OYH route, would you still make Elisha Emse's mate, like in OYH? Or will you go with Garette?

7) Also, since you have previously made an ff about Garette and Bella having a brother-sister type friendship would we see that and get to see Garette claim her as his sister and charlie as his father, and everyone goes along with it? (Honestly, I REALLY want this to happen, especially since I've spent the last hour scrolling through your tumbler and stumbled upon the 'I'm older than my father' post.)

8) Really, all these questions border on the main one of "is there going to be a breaking dawn/part 4-5 (depending) in your rewrite?" but if you do, would Carlisle buy Isle Bella as a honeymoon present of would that be in the oneshots book (that you'll hopefully be writing after this is over) as like a "Have fifteenth anniversary" thing?

9) Are you going to write a book full of random one-shots you couldn't fit into your story? I REALLY HOPE SO.

enthusiastically hope so. :) (that's really a tense smile with eyes SHINING with hope. Just informing you that you'll be crushing my heart. Brutally. With a stake. No pressure :) )

10) If you don't write the fourth book will we get an epilogue with the wedding five years later? Like, with Bella being SUPER nervous?

And finally, 11) (I really want a war to showcase Bella's awesome vampire powers (because you've stated (in a previous Tumblr post) that you'd give Bella her BAMF!Bella OYH powers)) So if there's a part four, even though the Volturi is "lawful" and like, has a brain, in your series, can they like have a brain fart where they go. "He's making an army," Or just straight up CANNON!Aro with his need for power be like "It's an immortal child, and it needs to be destroyed." But really be thinking, "They're growing too large, already their numbers rival our own, they must be put down! This is the perfect time!" Like the (cowardly) power-hungry and villainess we all know and love. Kinda.

I have other questions but those can really wait lol.

I basically want breaking dawn and the third (Do you count Charlie's book as part of Bella's story or as a stand-alone since you weren't really progressing the plot very much (also a very good way to have a time skip in your main)?) isn't even done yet.

I don't know if you can tell, but I've been reading this series for three days straight (new fan!) and just started your OYH series and I'm just filled with a desire right now. Like, I typically hate sex scenes in a twilight book (but that's because I was a child when these movies came out (saw them all in theatre!) and still was when I read the books, so Bella is SACRED lol, and It just makes me uncomfortable to imagine her in those positions (it's like a trauma okay?) but I really enjoyed your stories (even if I basically glossed over your sex scenes and read through them quickly) and could actually sit through your sex scenes (mostly, because it wasn't INTENSE! Like, a lot of rewrites turn breaking dawn into literal Porn and sully the books for me because they basically remove a lot of plot to make room for Bella's sudden appetite, and while, yes, you gave her an appetite and... I am just really enjoying your stories and how you write so Thank You.

Okay, I've let you know your appreciated and put out my question into the tumblr universe so now I just have to wait for you to see this and maybe respond.

I hate waiting.

I haven't gotten an ask in a while and AJKHFJKHD Listen!! THE FACE I MADE AT HOW LONG THIS IS??? Superb!! I'm honored you've taken the time to write this all out so I'm gonna try to answer you as best as I can!!

Right now I'm 100% sure that there will be a couple of Novellas/Novelettes directly after Earthshine. The Renee Story, the Charlie Story, and the Roommate Story which all will get maybe 40k and mini plots that are far more focused than Charlie's first story. Charlie's new story will be focused on his relationship with Carlisle too, so that should be fun!

Edward having a Mate is still up in the air at the moment. Since he is still very young, I don't see the need to really give him someone so quick when other characters have waited WAAAY longer. As for who it might be, that's also still up in the air in case I want to do a short story with him that's a part of a series of Novellas after the main books

If I do make a BD rewrite IT WILL have wedding/honeymoon/surprise pregnancy then it will PRETTY MUCH go off the rails from there because the Pregnancy will be VASTLY different. Carlisle is a Doctor and Bella isn't an idiot. They won't be in Washington either.

Again. The first half will be loosely based on the book and then just go completely off the rails because, Like you said, the Volturi have brains and I LOATHE an 'idiot' plot where people are required to suddenly become stupid for the story to work. As for the OYH route, I will be borrowing a couple elements from OYH but the conflict will be very different.

Elisha is baby and there's no way I could make another Dhampir at this point. Not with how much I love him.

The aging process will work differently in this fic for Dhampirs, so this question is irrelevant since Elisha will be a child for the entire fourth book. As for when he's older, Its still up in the air for this series. He deserves to be baby and I very much dislike the trope of age faster = mentally develop faster because that's BS.

We'll see, I love Bella and Garrett, but there's A LOT I'll have to cram into the last book so we'll just see.

As much as I'd love to answer this, I'm covering the honeymoon in the fourth book so you'll see what happens in there ; )

I HAVE PLANS for random one shots. I REALLY DO. I just has so little time to work on the main story so I might write some when Earthshine is done! I have a name for the one-shot collection already too and some Ideas!

I very much plan to write the fourth book you'll be fine. Bella will not be nervous, she'll be WAY more anxious about it going right. Mostly her nerves will be from anticipation and excitement because she'll be 23 and be very secure in her forever with Carlisle.

There will be a fight in book four that will not have the Volturi turning stupid. Don't worry about how.

Charlies little story is a Novella so I don't count it as a book.... GOD hearing you plowed through the series in so short a time is MIND boggling. I get people telling me this occasionally and I NEVER stop being amazed by it!

As for the sex scenes, yeah, I didn't want this to be erotic literature. I frequently scream that 'THIS ISN'T A SMUT BOOK' because them having sex is just a normal healthy thing that happens in relationships and wanted to show that. The sex scenes I write tend to be glossed over anyways so I'm glad it was readable for you. I get feeling frustrated and wanting more plot, but there are plenty of people who prefer the very explicit smut.

If sex scenes aren't your cup of tea, that's fine. I don't view Bella as pure and innocent though. It teeters dangerously on the Madonna/Whore dichotomy to act like she is. I get wanting to preserve the innocence of your childhood through her. That's not me though. Bella/Carlisle's relationship is highly sexual in nature within SoG and that's ALRIGHT too!

Thanks for the super long ask!!! it was great to read and fun to respond to!

[forever--rain]

Hi! For the fanfic ask game, 6, 7, and 28 for a delicate balance and lost in you still! (pairing is zutara ofc)

Hey, darling! I hope you're having a wonderful day!

6. If you’re really concentrating, how many words can you write in a day?

I majored in both English and creative writing because I'm a masochist who made the same mistake as John Mulaney by majoring in a language I ALREADY SPOKE and my approach to writing papers/poems/stories/etc. was pretty much "think about it a lot in the weeks leading up to the due date, do nothing about it, then write it all the night before and get an A." And LOOK. I know that's not a healthy approach, okay? I know it's not rational and it shouldn't be done. I do NOT recommend it. It's a habit I'm having to break myself of because it's just not sustainable. HOWEVER. The only reason I started doing that was because I spent literal MONTHS writing a paper for an art history class I had to take in order to meet core requirements (it wasn't even part of my MAJOR or MINOR) and I ended up with a C. A C. I had never gotten a C on a paper before in my LIFE. It destroyed me.

After that I had an attitude of, "Well, if I'm going to spend all this time on a FIFTY PAGE PAPER about ONE MINUSCULE PIECE OF ART only to get a C... Then I'm done. I'm going to half-ass my papers forever because I CAN'T COPE." And then it backfired on me. Every paper/poem/story/etc. that I wrote in a night earned me an A. Which just reinforced what I was doing. So now I can either write thousands of words in one sitting or ten words in a day. There is no in between. And all of this is just a long, unasked for explanation for my actual answer to this question which is:

If I'm REALLY focused? If I'm not procrastinating on Tumblr? If I'm not too drawn into my original works? 🤣 A couple thousand. Though I've been able to crank out a chapter or two of Wind-Songs in the Pines in a day and those usually clock in around 4k.

7. Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

Descriptions are the bane of my existence. Specifically when it comes to settings. I feel like I'm never doing enough to set a scene. But then I try to force more of that into a story and it feels like I'm trying too hard.

28. In [x fic], what is a happy, post-fic headcanon you have about [pairing]? (I'll definitely answer this question more than once if anyone else wants to ask it!!)

Okay! Happy, post-fic headcanons for A Delicate Balance and Lost In You Still coming right up!

A Delicate Balance

It doesn't take long at all for Katara and Zuko to move in together. They're together maybe four or five months when it happens. And it all arises because Katara realizes she never gave Zuko back his spare key after that first morning. When she goes to give it back to him, he looks at the key, looks at all of her things that have migrated into his place, and is just like, "My lease is almost up. She's here almost every night anyway. Maybe she and I should look for a place together." Of course, he goes about it in the most bumbling way possible and part of him is terrified that Katara only says yes because she wants to get away from Sokka and Suki, the fic's token Gross Couple (affectionate). But then she comes to him with like 30 different places that they could rent (all of which have a dedicated room that he can use as a home office while he gets his business off the ground and east-facing bedroom windows because she knows he loves mornings) and he realizes she's just as excited about it as he is.

Lost In You Still

Oh, gosh! I feel like I've talked about my end of story headcanons for this fic a lot, but there's always more I want to share. Here is a lil one for ya!

Every year, Zuko and Katara make sure to take the kids to celebrate the winter solstice in the Southern Water Tribe. They go not only because they want the kids to appreciate their Water Tribe heritage but also to celebrate their anniversary. And every year until she passes, they ask Kanna to tell the story of Tui and Malina, just as she did at their wedding. And when she's gone, Hakoda willingly steps up to continue the tradition.

Behind the scenes asks!

[caranfindel]

Episode recap/review: Walker 1.14

I didn't expect to recap 1.14 and yet here I am, still avoiding my unfinished Summergen fic. I'm actually writing this in real time, as I watch the episode. So for once I'm not pretending I don't know what happens. I literally don't know.

We begin with Cordell and Grandpa clearing up the crime scene. How much do I love Cordell saying "Daddy?" A lot. And not in that way, you perverts. It just really brings out the Texan.

Liam is in bed, recuperating. He gets a call (note that he calls himself William professionally, which is news to me, and I like it for whatever reason) from someone asking for a comment, which he starts to angrily refuse before Gramma Walker grabs his phone and hangs up. Gramma Walker going all Mama Bear for Liam is also interesting, and unexpected. But Liam says "I can take care of myself" and she says "No, you can't. None of you boys can." And then looks sadly out the window, where Cordell and Grandpa are taking down the crime scene tape. I just have to think "none" and not "both" means she's thinking of poor dead Hoyt, who she obviously loved like a son, if not more so. (More evidence for the Hoyt is her lovechild file? Maybe.)

Geri shows up, wearing an unnecessary cowboy hat and Hoyt's old jacket. She's bearing Hoyt's last will and testament, written on a bar coaster! Oh, my heart. And in case you can't read it:

If I get shivved in the shower or some old horse kicks me upside the head. For real Liam stamp it and everything - I leave everything to Geri/"Geraldine Broussard"/angle [sic] face sweet lips etc. So that plot I bought over in Tanglewood is for her and whatever I got in my pockets or elsewhere. See ya in the next life.

Angle face!

I'm not sure this would stand up in court, since he didn't even sign his last name, although it is witnessed by William Walker. Anyway, it's a moot point, because the land Hoyt intended to give Geraldine "Angle Face" Broussard is transferring to new owners, effective tomorrow. Which makes no sense. The deal fell apart because he died, and yet it's so soon after his death that the police tape is still up. New owners wouldn't be in the picture that quickly. Reverting to previous owners, because it was owner-financed? Sure. But not new owners. (Whatever, Caranfindel. Move it along.) She asks Cordell to go with her to gather his personal belongings. And to bring the kids. Hmmm, let's see how Stella can mess this up. (Tanglewood is 71 miles from Austin. Of course I looked it up.)

But first, Cordell has to sign paperwork to begin his leave of absence. So he didn't actually intend to quit. I mean, we all knew he'd be back, but I kind of thought he was, at the time, intending to quit for good. Does Connie the HR person have a big old crush on him? There is hand touching and deep, serious gazing.

Touch him, Connie. Touch him for those of us who cannot.

Micki is sitting right outside the conference room where he signs his papers but still acts surprised that he's in the building. Did she not smell the rosemary mint shampoo as he walked by? He thanks her for the flowers and apologizes for not calling her back. And then cancels their lunch plans so he can go off with Geri and the kids.

Someone said this on Tumblr, and I think it bears repeating here. It's interesting comparing Cordell's grief, over his wife and now his best friend, to Sam's grief. Cordell is clearly deeply affected, and is also clearly moving on. Sam is just unhinged.

Elsewhere. The gang stops for lunch and reminisces about Hoyt dressed as Santa, wearing assless chaps. Well. That's memorable. (Also, I know people who did the whole leaving horse manure and pretending it's reindeer poop thing. Some people are just a lot more into Santa than I was.) Trevor (Travis? Whatever) called Stella. She's apparently avoiding him. Probably a good call, sis. Maybe the only one you've made in 14 episodes. (To be fair, I didn't watch the first four.)

Micki shares tacos with her boyfriend, whose name I can never remember, having been stood up by Cordell. She tells him Cordell seemed "off," which is great now, Micki. Why didn't you pay more attention to that feeling last week? The BF thinks Micki herself might be off, because she misses her partner. And she calls him family. Captain What's His Face comes to talk to Trey (that's his name, dammit) and asks if he knows a guy who goes to the same physical therapist's office. Friends, when I've done PT, I don't even know people who go to my therapist, let alone just go to someone in the same office. But maybe folks in Austin are just friendlier than they are round these parts. Oh, wait. The guy is missing, and was last seen in a heated discussion with Trey? What's up with that, Trey?

Tanglewood. Cordell asks the nice lady (realtor? owner?) about Hoyt's "personal affects," and she says "they are probably out grazing." Because Hoyt's personal effects are four horses and a llama. Which Geri owns now. "Where am I going to board four horses and a llama?" she asks. Cordell is oddly befuddled (and adorably, cause y'all know how I feel about befuddled Jared), as if he didn't live on a ranch. With horses. The family business, remember? The kids are entranced. I would be too. It's a damn cute llama. One of the mares actually nursed the llama, so they're family. (Watch out for falling anvils.)

Micki's house. Trey says the "heated discussion" was the missing guy showing him a judo move. Captain asks Trey to ride along and help him investigate, and poor partnerless Micki asks if she can come with.

Tanglewood. Apparently Hoyt's personal affects also included gear for the four horses, because everyone is saddled up. Geri doesn't seem like an experienced rider - she keeps her hand on the pommel of the saddle, which I always heard was a rube move. (At least she's not clutching the saddle horn. No shade. It's hard not to. It's a perfect handle and it's just right there.) Cordell, of course, rides perfectly, as he does everything perfectly.

Everything except his job. And raising his kids. But do I care about those things? Not so much.

Geri thinks the llama looks unwell. What is she, a llama expert? A veterinarian? And what are they doing on this trail ride anyway - taking the herd back to the Walker ranch? It's 71 miles away! It's an hour and a half driving! How will they get the truck? Why didn't Cordell just say "let's go back to the ranch and get Daddy's cattle trailer?" WHY.

(No one cares. No one but you thinks about these things.)

Stella is on her phone, but it turns out she's (allegedly) re-reading Hoyt's last text, not chatting with friends. And then she says she was "responsible for everything." Oh, wait. We're going there? Stella is finally going to face the music? Cordell says it's not her fault, but they're interrupted by the llama, who apparently is in distress. Cordell wants to leave him at a random homestead. Permanently? Like, "excuse me, ma'am, but can you take this llama?" Or just while they get the horses home? I dunno.

August doesn't like this, because the llama and the horses are family. Geri distracts him by claiming Hoyt wanted him to have the jacket she's wearing, although I find this rather dubious, because why did she wait so long to mention it? Why is she wearing it herself? It's a lucky jacket he won from a tarot card reader and card hustler named The Mystifying Mehar, who was "infamous for getting out of trouble because of that jacket." Cordell then asks Geri to go off with the kids while he hangs back and tries to ditch the llama. Oh no, Cordell, don't do that. He's family!

Back at the ranch, Grandpa chases off some more journalists. He also ignores Gramma's concern about his cancer.

Trail ride. We skipped the whole bit where Cordell found someone willing to take in a goddamn llama, caught up with his kids, and told them what he did. They're mad that he wouldn't even try, and then Stella impulsively rides off, almost falling into a revine.

Team Sassyboots 2.0 questions the missing guy's wife. Turns out he left a note. Doesn't sound like he's as missing as they thought. He said he would "fix everything," i.e., their upcoming foreclosure. They check his workshop and find evidence that he was a military contractor, and apparently this means he should have no money problems whatsoever, because they don't understand how money works. His gun safe is empty, so they figure he's on some kind of "black ops" job. And if it's going to be complete by Monday, I assume it's something local, and not a military operation.

Walker Ranch. Someone who is Liam's "political opponent" comes to take care of him? And he's bringing barbeque? Is it poisoned? Gramma says Liam can't have barbecue because he's on bedrest, as if one had anything to do with the other. And... Grandpa wants to go mushroom hunting with her? Is that what the kids call it these days?

Trail ride. Cordell found someone to keep the horses. Temporarily? I'm still confused. Stella and Geri talk about Hoyt, and Stella asks about her forgiving him. Thinking about some forgiveness toward your own bad boy, Stella? She says "the two of you were always kind of like the dream to me," which is odd considering they were off-and-on, while her parents were very much on, and definitely seem more like couple goals. But okay. Stella confesses again that she is responsible, and Geri says "you let love in, maybe; that's your worse crime." I wonder if Stella blames herself for the fake truck crash that started the whole domino effect, or if she even realizes that's what happened. Obviously Geri wouldn't. Hmmm, I wonder what August thinks about all this?

Walker Ranch. Whoever this political opponent is, he must be a family friend, because he gave a toast at Cordell and Emily's rehearsal dinner. "Hey, when did your brother have such long hair," he asks, looking at a picture of the happy couple. Liam is growing facial hair again. I like it. Opponent suggests the spicy barbecue will put hair on Liam's chest and Liam tosses it aside and says "no, dammit, after I spent all that time waxing?" And Liam might drop out of whatever race he's in. I don't really care about that part. Let's talk more about Liam's chest.

I love that they can use actual Padalecki family photos as Cordell and Emily photos. No bad Photoshop needed!

Team Sassyboots 2.0. I don't really care about this missing guy either. Skipping it. You know, I understand this is meant to be an ensemble show, and Jared Padalecki and his stupid pretty face and long legs are not going to be in every scene. But Micki working a case with her boss and her boyfriend just bothers me and I don't want to be a part of it.

Trail ride. They're bedding down in the barn for the night? What the fuck? Where are they? Why didn't they just drive home? I'm so confused! Cordell and Geri talk about Hoyt some more. Cordell makes an awkward comment about "us together" and then amends it to mean all of us together, as in you and me and the kids camping right now, not, like, you and me together together, and then does a little eyebrow thing like whoo, good job, talked your way out of that one. NO, CORDELL, YOU ARE NOT AS SMOOTH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. Anyway. There's a lot of guilt about poor dead Hoyt. Cordell tells Geri her name is still on the Sidestep lease (lease? I thought they owned it?), as if being part owner of a bar is always going to be a good thing, with no liability at all. And they don't kiss, for which I am grateful. The horses are really acting up. I hope nothing's happening.

Cordell checks on the horses and apologizes to the mare for leaving the llama behind. He realizes he made the wrong choice. "You know what," he says. "Let's go fix this."

I adore him.

Walker Ranch. Grandpa and Gramma have been mushroom hunting and are now getting silly. Um, what kind of mushrooms did you two find? And then Grandpa says "tonight's about Hoyt," which I do not understand. "I saw the joy he gave you," Grandpa says. Yes, Grandpa, and do you not find that even a little bit fishy? And then he decides to build something.

Trail ride. Cordell went and retrieved his llama! He is precious. I love him so much. He has some pratfalls in the same ravine that almost caught Stella, and then his family shows up and rescues him. (Can I point out that his "a-ha-ha" laugh is the same one we heard when he opened his gift from Dean in "A Very Supernatural Christmas" and I'm not sure it appeared in any other episode?) August offers the Lucky Jacket to use as a llama harness to haul the little guy out of the ravine. Oh, and it turns out the llama is about to give birth.

And, while I'm skipping Team Sassyboots 2.0, it's hard to ignore that Micki is now in a UFC fight. That might have been an interesting story after all. Y'all can fill me in.

Walker Ranch. They're building a little stable. Because this big horse ranch doesn't have enough stables. Liam, who was bedridden to the point of not being able to eat barbeque yesterday, is now helping build. He gets a text from his former fiance, who wants to talk. And Grandpa has decided to treat his cancer. Happy endings all around!

Micki's house. She says she was passive-aggressive with Walker because she's afraid of losing him. I get it, sweetie. He's someone you don't want to lose.

Trail ride. August is carrying the newborn llama, wrapped in the Lucky Jacket. Geri wants to cut out before they get to the ranch. She's going to ride the bus home? Seriously? Isn't her car at the Walker Ranch? She and Cordell talk abou their unfinished business. Yeah, like the fact she was probably involved in your wife's murder? That unfinished business, Geraldine? Grandpa meets them before they get to the ranch and informs them he has a strict no-llama policy on the ranch. But luckily, he just built an alpaca stable. They’re alpacas, not llamas. So, Geri called him, but how did he know they were alpacas? Did she send pictures? I am so confused. Anyway. The new family goes into their new home. They name the baby alpaca Hoyt, of course.

Little Hoyt, guys, he's the sweetest thing.

Breakfast. Political Opponent gives Liam a contribution. Oh, I get it. They're running for the same office, and he thinks Liam will draw votes away from his other opponent. Shrewd. Stella calls Trevor and says she might need to leave the past behind. And you are the past, Trevor. Cordell sees a truck pull up and runs out to meet Micki. She apologizes for holding a grudge over him leaving. She tries to shake hands and he hugs her instead. She thinks they can just be friends now instead of partners, and he says they're not friends, they're family. And then she oohs and aahs over the alpacas, which she recognizes immediately as alpacas and not llamas, and also points out that little Hoyt is actually a girl. Oops. Awkward. Cordell is surprised she can just tell. "Most people can." Yeah, you are the worst rancher's son ever. Then Cordell sees the fence is carved with a memorial to Hoyt. Aw.

He is also the sweetest thing.

So. Less drama than last week. More warmth. A ridiculous B story that was as annoying as giving Cas his own plot. Will I still watch next week? Yeah, probably. I have questions. How did Grandpa know they were alpacas? Where is the baby daddy? Can Cordell and his rancher father really not tell the difference between a male and female alpaca? Why is Geri riding the bus home, when her car is at the Walker's? Why is she avoiding the Walker Ranch? Will August ever get his own plot again?

It's just a shame that this episode didn't have any shout-outs to Supernatural, like the last one did...

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 14: To The Boy Next Door

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which they play a game.

Word count: 4.7k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)

ANNOUNCEMENT: The last chapter was supposed to be released on July 1, BUT I have two final exams on that same week, so I’ll have no choice but to move the schedule forward.

Last My Girl update: July 8, 2020. (July 3: Tumblr preview and full chapter on Patreon).

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One year later

“Come in.”

When Asher entered the room, Gemma almost didn’t recognize him. He’d got a beard now, and he wasn’t wearing a suit. If she hadn’t known the charming Asher in the past, she would be so shocked to find out he was the CEO’s son. Too bad she didn’t care enough to wonder what had happened to him after his business had gone bankrupt because his father had refused to finance it. Now he was just a regular accountant.

His eyes went wide when he saw her sitting with his dad in the CEO office.

Hello, Asher, she thought, yet gave him nothing but a polite nod as if they were meeting for the first time.

“Asher, I suppose you remember Gemma?” asked his father with a sigh.

“Yes,” Asher mumbled, his gaze falling to the floor.

Of course he remembered her. Abusers always remembered their victims.

His dad looked from him back to Gemma. Hands folded on the desk, he said, “Gemma is our new COO. I hope you will have no trouble working for her.”

Asher’s head jerked up as if he’d just heard a gunshot. And Gemma, of course, was the one holding the gun.

She relished his astonishment and cracked a smile as she rose from her seat and walked toward him. She extended her hand, but he didn’t take it.

“Working for her?” he asked his dad, who replied with a stern expression.

“Yes. She’s your new boss.”

Gemma broke into a smirk, still holding out her hand in the space between them. Asher’s eyes had grown so big they nearly took over his entire face. “You,” he hissed at her, “I can't believe you weaselled your way into this company.”

“Oh, no.” Gemma frowned pretentiously and dropped her hand down to her side. “I’ve been a shareholder for almost a year. I’ve done more for this company in that short amount of time than you have your whole life.”

He thinned his lips and glared at her, unable to muster a single word.

She hated him but respected his father. And what was better as revenge than making sure she took everything he wanted? First, his father’s affection. Soon, his father’s company.

“I don’t want to make this unpleasant for you, Asher,” her voice dropped so low as she leaned in so only the two of them could hear. “Or maybe I do. So you better be a nice employee, because I wouldn't be sorry to kick you out of here.”

His face dimmed as she stepped away. If there was a camera, she’d take a picture and put it in a frame. Though she doubted this would be the last time she got to see that defeated look on his face.

"See you around, Ash," she said, placing a hand on her hip as she breezed right past him out of the room.

Two interns, a blonde and a dark-skinned girl, rose from their cubicles and rushed up to her as she was heading for the lift.

“Excuse me,” the blonde said timidly. “Are you...our new COO?”

“Y-Yes, yes, I am.” Gemma worked up a smile and the girls giggled to each other like teenagers.

“Congratulations and welcome!” said the dark-skinned one, who said her name was Marie and her friend was Claria. Gemma assumed they were going to fangirl about her brother, but then Marie said, “We love your sister-in-law’s book. We’re such big big fans.”

It took Gemma a second. “Y/N? She and Harry aren’t–”

“Future sister-in-law,” Claria corrected her friend, looking nervously from Marie back to Gemma. “We’ve...heard some rumours. Can you confirm or deny it?”

“I cannot. But I’ll let her know about you girls.”

The girls grinned like the Cheshire Cat, and Gemma could tell they were trying their best not to freak out. She waved them goodbye and hastened into the lift before the door closed.

Her phone buzzed with a new text.

Isey: Lunch? :)

Lunch :) she replied, biting back a grin.

Another notification popped up. A reply from Harry's girl. Gemma rolled her eyes as she remembered lending Harry her phone a couple of weeks ago. He'd changed most names in her contacts and she'd only managed to change back a few of them.

Harry's girl: Thanks for the birthday wish, Gem! (heart emoji)

You're welcome! Is Harry coming home today?

Harry's girl: I hope not. But idk.

We never know. How can you STAND him? Ugh.

Harry's girl: I can't lol.

Harry's girl: Anyway, what was his reaction?

Gemma knew right away whom Y/N was talking about.

Priceless, she responded.

Harry's girl: QUEEN. Make his life a living hell.

Oh I will. Certainly.

The door slid open with a ding, and Gemma tucked the phone into her bag. Her assistant was waiting outside to direct her to her new office. With a smile on her face, she stepped out of the lift and shook the assistant's hand.

She was so ready for this new beginning.

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“Good aaaaaafternoon, girlfriend! Are you feeling twenty-two?”

Y/N laughed hoarsely as she blinked a few times to let her vision get used to the light from the windows opposite the bed. “You’re embarrassing,” she said, yawning.

On the phone, Harry gasped. “Did you just wake up?!”

“I stayed up all night talking to you and had a zoom meeting with Laura this morning. Besides, it’s Sunday.”

“It’s your birthday.”

“Duh.” She grinned at the ceiling and exhaled. “I’m twenty-two now. I’m like...old.”

“Ouch. Well, aren’t you supposed to get ready for the book signing?”

“Book signing is tomorrow. Bad boyfriend.”

The sound of his laugh made her heart leap. She missed him so much. He’d been in New York for two weeks and wouldn’t be back until next Thursday, which meant she’d have to spend this birthday without him. She wasn’t sure if she should let him know she wished he were here. She really did. But she also didn’t want him to drop everything and fly back to her for only one night. He’d done that before and it'd been romantic, still, she never wanted him to do it again.

“To prove that I’m not a bad boyfriend,” he said, snapping her back to the moment. “I have a surprise for you.”

She sat up straight and whipped her head to the door. “Goddamn it, Harry,” she huffed, “if you tell me you’re standing right outside–”

“No!” He burst out laughing. “No, no, no, I’m still in New York.”

She sighed in relief, but couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed.

“My surprise is in the pocket of my favourite suit,” he said.

She had no idea what he might have up his sleeves (quite literally). Still, she rolled out of bed, shoved her feet into her slippers, and padded out of the room.

Two years ago on this same day, he’d brought her to the roof of an abandoned building, where they’d watched the night city and eaten his homemade cupcakes. On her twenty-first birthday, they hadn’t been talking. And so this year, she’d suspected that he must have planned something extravagant to surprise her, even though he wasn’t home to celebrate with her. The surprise had come a bit earlier than expected.

She switched on the light in the walk-in closet, which was as large as her old flat. His favourite suit was the one he’d worn on Grammy’s night. Sparkling dark velvet to match the aesthetic of her silvery mermaid gown, which, unfortunately, she hadn’t got a chance to show off to the world.

She stuck her hand into the breast pocket of the jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “Found it."

“Go on. Read it,” he encouraged.

“If it says ‘Happy Birthday, smiley face’, I’ll strangle you when you come back.”

A laugh burst right through him. “Your choking kink is getting out of hand, babe.”

“Shut up.” She huffed, unfolding the note. “Should have said I loved you,” she read aloud. “What does that mean?”

“You can ask for my help only once. Call me when you’ve found the fifth clue.”

“Wait!”

But he’d already hung up.

She almost called him back but then decided not to. She didn't want to waste her only chance to ask for help.

Classic treasure hunt, she thought, rereading the sentence.

The prize would be her birthday present for sure. Maybe he’d hidden it in the wood somewhere. A normal boyfriend would just have the birthday present delivered, or leave it on the table or in the garage, not challenge his girlfriend’s two only active brain cells with a children’s game. But Y/N wasn’t a normal girlfriend. And as much as she hated working for something other than her writing, a part of her was excited.

“Should have said I loved you,” she thought out loud, then snapped her fingers and rushed across the hallway to his library.

Two years ago, she’d told him she’d loved him for the first time and received silence in return. In this very room, he’d watched her leave.

She stood in front of the giant bookcase, which he’d had installed a month after she’d officially moved in. Most of these books were from her collection. On a shelf in the middle stood three framed photos of them. Them in Paris. Them with their families on a vacation last summer. Them at her graduation.

She flipped each frame over to check the back, but none had what she was looking for. She tapped her foot impatiently on the carpet while assessing the rest of the bookcase. It didn’t take her too long to notice that one book was upside down.

P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern.

Of course. Of-fucking-course.

She rolled her eyes, feeling a smile stretching her lips as she took the book from the shelf and opened it to the first page. There was a post-it note that said:

Congrats, babe. You’ve found it. Next clue: Where the magic happens ;)

‘Where the magic happens.’ If it wasn’t sexual, the winky face had made sure that it was.

Could it be their bed? Nope. She'd slept there last night.

Could it be the first place they’d had sex?

Could the next clue be inside that car?

She jolted with a start and dashed out of the library, and as soon as she reached the stairs, she suddenly halted.

No. She didn’t remember which car they’d had sex in for the first time, and he’d got a whole collection of cars. It’d take forever to search every single one. That wasn’t the right answer.

Sighing, she stood on the first stair and contemplated the clue again.

They used to play Treasure Hunt when they were younger. There were usually at least five or six clues, and the first three should be easy.

Could it be her flat? Most of their ‘secret relationship’ had happened in her flat. It used to be their secret kingdom. Impenetrable. Disconnected to the outside world. They’d also had their second real kiss outside her door, and she still had until the end of this month before she must return the keys to the landlord.

She wasn’t sure, and she wasn’t going to drive all the way there just to find out she was wrong.

And so she decided to call him.

“Let me guess,” he said as soon as the beeping stopped. “You’re either super impatient or your fairy godmother appeared and helped you find all five clues.”

She rolled her eyes. “Third clue. Is it your car or my flat?”

“My car?” He sounded confused, which gave her the impression that she might have got it wrong.

Her cheeks burnt as she said, “We had sex for the first time in your car.”

“No, not my car, but damn, I should have thought of that.”

“So it’s my flat?”

“Are you sure you want to ask me now?”

“Yes.”

“Yes,” he smugly confirmed. “It’s your flat. Now you’re on your own until the final clue.”

“Fuck,” she grunted and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I thought you’d have trouble with this one, too. I mean, we fuck everywhere these days.”

“If my birthday present isn’t worth all this, we won’t be fucking ever again.”

He gasped at the threat, and she could picture him wearing that stupid crooked smile as he told her, “Good luck, kid. I believe in you.”

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She found the next clue on Thumper’s lap.

When she’d moved most of her furniture to Harry’s house, she’d forgotten to take the purple stuffed bunny with her. She held it under her arm and scrutinized the pink post-it note, which said:

I cannot believe you left Thumper behind. Third clue: Drunk little deer.

“Drunk little deer? What does that even mean?” Then she looked at Thumper. “Should I kick him in the balls when I see him?”

She made the rabbit nod and burst out laughing at how crazy she sounded. If anyone walked in and saw her talking to a stuffed animal, they would assume she was either crazy or drunk.

Drunk.

She was the drunk little deer. Drunk Bambi.

The answer was the place he'd seen her drunk for the first time.

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Andrew recognized Y/N right from the moment she stepped into the pub. He leaned over the counter and shouted for everyone to hear, “Little girl! Good to see you again!”

“Andrew," she smiled and shouldered her way towards the bar.

He eyed her up and down as she slid onto one of the stools. “You look different. I hope you’re not here to drink again. I might have to kick you out.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You look different, too. I like your new hair.”

Andrew rubbed his shiny bald head, scowling at her as she raised a smile and rested her chin on her knuckles. Andrew might look intimidating, especially now without his hair, but he was one of the softest people she’d ever met. He’d been so kind to her during her tough times and even let her haunt his pub day and night until Harry had come for the rescue.

“You’re kind of famous now, aren’t you?” Andrew said. “I’ve read your book. It didn’t suck.”

“You have?”

He lifted one giant shoulder of his, pursing his lips. “My wife made me. She's a big fan. Your boyfriend came two weeks ago and he even signed the book for her. He said he was the one in the story.”

“My boyfriend was here?”

Andrew gave a nod.

The voices in Y/N's head started cheering like she’d just won a wrestling match. It would have been so embarrassing if she'd asked Andrew first and then found out she'd got it wrong.

“Well, did he leave...something for me? A message perhaps?”

Andrew growled as he turned away, and without a word, disappeared through a stained curtain behind him. He came back five minutes later and handed her a green post-it note with an unreadable grimace on his face.

She snatched it immediately. A laugh crackled out of her as if he’d just given her gold.

Hi babe, you’re almost there! My biggest fans (not you) have the final clue. Get back to work.

“He gave this to me when he signed the book,” Andrew said.

Y/N mumbled the words over as she tried to figure them out. Her first guess for ‘biggest fans (not you)’was Gemma and Isaac. But then she got rid of the idea because they had to be at the same place at the same time in order for this to work, and Gem and Isaac were both at work.

Which two people were together right now and were also Harry’s biggest fans?

‘Get back to work.’

Yes. That’s it!

Y/N thrust the post-it note into her bag and rose from the stool. “I’m sorry. This must be weird to you.”

“It’s quite romantic, actually," Andrew said.

“Really?”

“And weird. You two are both weird. What a perfect couple.”

“Gee, thanks.”

As she spun on her heels, Andrew called after her, “Hey, little girl. I’m sorry I said you weren’t a real writer.”

“You said that?”

“You were drunk,” he chuckled. “Anyway, bring your weird boyfriend back sometimes.”

“I will. If there’s free beer.”

“Get out of here.” He shot his finger toward the door, but it was the first time she’d seen Andrew smile with his whole face.

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Eddie’s bookshop was busy on most Sundays. Well, it had been busy almost every day since Y/N had credited him in her latest best-selling debut novel.

She entered the shop and was immediately recognized by a group of schoolgirls, who asked her to sign their new copies of her book and questioned her about the story. She recycled the same amiable answers that didn’t give away any more than what they might already know. Since she’d already got used to the attention, the fans didn’t intimidate her anymore.

She took a selfie with the girls and bid them goodbye. Then one of the new employees told her that Eddie and Alice were sorting books at the back. She wandered along aisles until she found them. Eddie was scolding Alice for putting hardcovers in between paperbacks. Nothing got on Eddie’s nerves as much as putting hardcovers in between paperbacks.

“The hardcovers take more shelf-space so you cannot put them there! God, Alice, were you drunk when you were sorting these books?”

“I wish I were drunk now,” Alice said, and her eyes lit up as she saw Y/N. She nearly tackled Y/N to the floor with a violent hug, and Y/N returned with half as much enthusiasm.

“You’re like a Golden Retriever,” Y/N said, pulling back and cupping her friend’s face.

“Happy birthday! I was gonna send you–”

Eddie didn’t wait for Alice to finish as he pushed her aside to step forward, his face brightened like the sun. “You’re here for the clue, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I–”

“We can’t just hand it to you.” That sun-like face suddenly turned serious. “You need a password. What is Harry’s favourite book?”

Y/N arched an eyebrow at Eddie as if expecting him to say ‘gotcha!’ But he only mirrored her expression as he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer.

“Seriously?” Y/N scoffed, looking at her two friends. “He’s that narcissistic?”

Alice smirked as she raised a shoulder. “Either you answer or search this entire bookshop yourself.”

“I fucking hate him and I fucking hate both of you.” Y/N rolled her eyes upward and exhaled sharply. “Norwegian Wood.”

“Huh?”

“That’s his favourite book,” she told Alice and remembered Alice didn’t read fiction unless it was compulsory. “Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami.”

Eddie looked confused. “He loves Haruki Murakami? His books are misogynistic.”

“Harry’s got a bad taste in authors. But judging from your reactions, I suppose that is not the correct answer, and I should probably break up with my boyfriend because I don’t know what his favourite book is.”

“You do, Y/N.” Alice beamed as she leaned a shoulder against the bookcase. “You’re thinking too big. It’s pretty simple.”

“Shit. Is it my book?” Y/N asked, then pinched the bridge of her nose as Eddie began to smile. “Goddamn it, he’s like my dad times ten.”

“What did your dad do?” Eddie asked.

“He bought a bunch of copies of my book and sent them to our relatives for Christmas. It was pretty embarrassing.”

“Aww.”

“ALICE!”

“Jesus Christ!” Alice covered her ears as she shot Eddie a glare. “I’m standing right next to you.”

“Go get the clue!” Eddie flicked his fingers at her. “Go! Hurry!”

Alice rolled her eyes and flipped him off as she backed out of the aisle. Eddie ignored her and turned back to Y/N, grinning from ear to ear like he was the birthday girl. “Are you excited?”

“Not as much as you are. That’s for sure,” Y/N said and made sure he knew she was joking by giving him a toothy grin.

“I’m not gonna tell you what the surprise is, you know.”

“I’m not asking.”

Eddie’s laugh was high as he placed a hand on her shoulder. “What I can tell you is that you’re gonna love it. Too bad I cannot be there to see your reaction.”

“Trust me,” she said. “You don’t wanna see me scold Harry through the phone.”

Alice returned with a copy of My Girl and handed it to Y/N with a smile that possibly meant, ‘You’re gonna love this’.

Suspicious and somewhat elated, Y/N opened the book to the dedication page.

To Mum, Dad, and the boy next door.

Those were her words. Below was his handwriting: Hi my love :)

Curious, she turned to the first chapter. This wasn’t just another copy of her book, of which she’d got all the different covers at home. With this one, Harry had done the same thing he’d done to her journal. His handwriting was scattered across the pages. He’d underlined all the quotes he’d enjoyed and left comments about them on the side.

Y/N heard Eddie say something about how he would never write in books and Alice immediately shush him for being rude. Y/N never wrote in books, either, but she loved reading Harry’s handwritten notes. It felt like he was reading the story with her. The butterflies in her stomach went wild just from imagining him taking his time writing on each page and grinning at his own jokes. If this was the birthday surprise, she could not ask for anything more.

However, she knew he had to be more extra than this.

And there it was. Proof that this was not the surprise. On the very last page, he wrote:

Meet me where the sky meets the earth.

“Where the sky meets the earth?” she thought out loud and glanced up at Eddie, who responded with a shrug. Alice did, too. Y/N didn’t think they were lying. Harry must have told them what the surprise was, but not the answers to these cryptic messages.

Eddie patted her on the back as he wished her good luck and shooed Alice back to the front to assist the customers. Y/N was left behind to work it out on her own. She leaned against the bookcase, pondering over the words.

Hadn’t Harry said she was allowed to call him when she reached the fifth clue?

She tucked the book under her arm and pulled out the phone from the pocket of her jeans.

“Hi, babe!”

“I’ve got the fifth clue,” she blurted. “What do I do now?”

“I don’t know. Solve it?”

“Yes, smartarse. The answer is, I don’t know.”

“You’re not even thinking.”

“You said you’d help me!”

“I said I’d help you once,” he countered. “And I did. I told you to call me just so I know when you’ve reached the final clue.”

“So you’re not gonna help me with this one?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Well, I can give you a hint. What do all the places you’ve visited today have in common?”

She chewed on her lip, an arm folded over her chest. “They’re memories,” she whispered.

“That’s right,” he whispered back, like they didn’t want anyone to overhear their conversation. “This last place is a memory as well. Where the sky meets the earth. Think, kid.”

She pouted. “Can I please get another hint?”

“You don’t get to talk in a cute voice and manipulate me, Bambi,” he sighed. “Fine. Our first date.”

“Holmes Chapel?!”

He said nothing and hung up.

It took Y/N a few seconds, but she believed she’d got the answer.

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She took the lift and climbed four sets of stairs to the roof.

Adrenaline buzzed right through her, causing her hands to shake and her heart to pound against her ribcage. The metal was cold against her fingertips as she pawed the heavy door open slowly. It was unlocked.

The cold wind gushed in, blowing her hair out of her face as she stepped into the night. The city of London gleamed before her eyes. Where the sky meets the earth. This was where they could see stars high above and down below.

And there he was. Waiting for her with that smug crooked grin on his stupid face.

“Hi,” he said.

Oh, how she’d missed his stupid beautiful face.

She tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket and ambled forward, still thinking him being here was too good to be true.

He lifted both hands like a surrendered criminal, both eyebrows raised as he said, “Before you get angry, I can explain.”

“Please do,” she demanded but found herself smiling.

With the wind in his hair, dimples on his cheeks and city light in his eyes, he looked absolutely breathtaking. She couldn’t hate him even if she tried.

Harry exhaled unsteadily through his mouth before mumbling, “Here I go,” and then he was on his knee in front of her.

She didn’t react when he took her cold hand and pressed it against his warm chest. She could feel his heart beating almost in sync with her own.

“Are you surprised?” he asked, chuckling nervously.

She exhaled a quiet laugh and said, “Yes, but also no.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Because I warned you this would happen?”

“Because you warned me this would happen.” Her mouth curved at the corner as she recalled the Oscar night in his LA house, both of them drunk, him on his knee like this, a promise, and how in love she’d felt, almost as much as she did in this very moment.

“Is this too early or too late?” he ventured.

“This is perfect.”

She pressed her lips into a smile, and his green eyes flickered in the semi-darkness. “Well then.” He straightened his back. “Y/N ‘Bambi’ Y/L/N.”

“Yes.” Her voice was so brittle she feared he wouldn’t hear it, her stomach twisted into triple knots, her chest fluttering and her fingers trembling.

He held her gaze as the corner of his mouth arched. “Will you…”

“I swear to God if you’re jok–”

“Marry me,” he blurted, panting as though saying those words had drained all the energy out of him. “Marry me. I want to annoy you for the rest of my life. I want every fight, every laugh, every up and down, every kiss, every touch, everything about you. I will love you until all my teeth fall out, until you finally learn to cook–”

“I’ll never learn to cook.”

“I know,” he chuckled. “Most importantly, I’ll even let you love young Leo a bit more than me, but only sometimes.”

She covered her mouth. What meant to be a laugh came out as a sob.

“I would have written a speech, but I figured you’d roast me for my bad writing, so I’d rather improvise and blame this awful proposal on it being improvised.”

“God, you’re fucking annoying,” she laughed tearily into her hand and he was laughing, too.

Quickly, he got to his feet and tugged her into him. She circled her arms around his waist, her face buried into his chest as she inhaled the scent she’d missed achingly in the last two weeks.

“My girl is such a crybaby,” he said, kissing the top of her head, her temple, her ear, her cheek, her forehead. He kissed and held her until she’d calmed down.

“Yes,” she told him at last, lifting her eyes up to his.

“Yes, you’re a crybaby?”

“Yes, you’re a dumbarse and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life roasting you and yes, I’ll sometimes love young Leo more than you but only sometimes, because you’re the greatest love of my life and I cannot imagine a life without you–”

He stopped her with his lips, his hands tenderly cupping her face as his thumbs moved slowly over her chin, cheeks and jawlines. She’d imagined that their first kiss after two weeks apart would be sexually aggressive and against-the-wall hot, but this kiss was slow and sensual and passionate and full of wanting. It felt like his promise for their future together. One that would last.

[retrievablememories]

date night | mark

title: date night pairing: mark x black!reader genre: fluff, non!idol au request: “I was wondering if you could do something about a first date with mark (and black reader). I don’t really care what the date is, you can choose” word count: 2.9k warnings: none that i can think of except some cursing a/n: iu’s “friday” is a very cute song and i think it could fit with this. on another note, tumblr & my computer hate me and erased the changes i made to this twice, so if there are errors bare with me...i’ll fix them later

“Do you think this outfit is okay?” you ask your friend over FaceTime, scanning the camera across your form so she can see what you’re wearing. “I don’t know. It’s just the fair, right? So it shouldn’t be anything too fancy...but…”

“Girl, it’s more than okay. Knowing Mark, he’ll like literally anything you wear. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

You hold the phone back up to your face again, giving your friend a skeptical look. “You better be telling the truth. You’re the one who arranged all this!”

“I didn’t arrange shit, I just gave Mark a little nudge in the right direction! You should thank me, he might've never asked you out on his own, the poor boy.” Your friend lies back on her bed and reminisces on her matchmaking skills, clearly pleased with her work this time—even though neither of you have any idea if the date will go well. Well, she already has her mind made up, but you can be a little harder to convince.

You hope it goes well, anyway. You really do like Mark, and you want things to work out with him tonight. You’ve never hung out with him alone before; it’s always been with a group of your friends, and your conversations with him were usually carried by the help of your friend’s interjections or Haechan’s jokes. 

For a while, you just figured that Mark was shy around new people, but he soon warmed up to your other friends who he hadn’t known before. But he still struggled to have a decent conversation with you. 

You didn’t understand any of it at first. You even thought that maybe he didn’t like you and was just terrible at hiding it. But after your friend got tired of seeing you angst over him, she let you in on what was really happening—he had a crush on you, too.

Now, you’re here—about to have your first date with Mark Lee and completely nervous about it, to say the least. You sigh at your friend’s smug expression.

“I’d hardly call what you did a nudge, but alright. Whatever you say, best friend.”

You know Mark and Haechan’s apartment complex is not far from yours, and yet it still catches you by surprise when you hear the knock on your front door. “Oh Lord, that’s probably him, I have to go!!” Your friend barely gets to say goodbye before you’ve ended the call. You scramble to grab your things and give yourself another once-over in your mirror before hurrying down the hall to open the door.

You stop at the door for a few moments and try to relax, attempting to make it seem like you weren’t rushing. Then you open the door to Mark standing on the other side.

“Hi Mark,” you say as naturally as possible, even though you’re practically jumping on the inside. He’s so handsome and cute that it’s unbelievable, even just standing there with his hands in his pockets, looking bashful and equally eager.

“Hi Y/N. You look really pretty today...I mean, you look pretty everyday, but today you’re especially, uh—a-adorable.”

“Thank you.” Your face is hot from his compliments, and you’re glad that he can’t tell past your brown skin. You step outside and lock the apartment door after you, turning to him with your heart beating wildly in your chest. “Are you ready?”

“Born ready,” he replies.

The place where the fair is being held is only a couple of streets over from where you live, so you both had already decided to walk there while planning the details of the date. You’re thankful it’s a nice summer night, not too hot or cold, though you’re both wearing jackets; it’s at the point of the season where the night starts getting chilly.

You and Mark make small talk on the way there, talking about casual stuff like what you did this week and what TV shows you watched the other night. He seems less nervous about talking to you than he is when you’re in a group with the others, but you can tell there is still some anxious energy around him.

Which doesn't really bother you, because you feel the same way and would rather be nervous together than anxious alone.

You can tell you’ve reached the fairgrounds when you start seeing more people gathered around and hear the loud festival music and screams of excitement; there’s already a considerable line to get in.

“Looks like we’ll be here for a minute,” you say, turning to Mark, though you aren’t really upset about it.

“That’s okay, I can be your entertainment until we get in.”

“Oh really? What are you gonna do, The Amazing Mark?”

“Whoa! That actually has a nice ring to it.”

“I know, right? Maybe you could use it as your performer name...so, Mr. Lee, how are you gonna impress me tonight?”

Mark decides to come up with a little freestyle rap on the spot, and you giggle at his enthusiasm. When he’s done, you give him a round of applause.

“Maybe you should be a rapper, you’re actually really good, you know.”

Mark feigns shock, pretending to be offended, and you laugh more. “Did you think I wouldn’t be?”

“Well, you—” You’re interrupted when someone behind you clears their throat loudly—the line has already moved up and you didn’t notice it. You grab Mark’s arm and pull him along with you. You decide to keep your hand there, looping your arms together. Mark blushes at that, a bashful smile on his face though he tries to hide it, not wanting to seem inexperienced.

When you finally get your tickets and go in, you and Mark debate over which rides to try first. You convince him to ride the huge looping rollercoaster, though he’s more than a little apprehensive about it. You can practically see the sweatdrops gathering on his forehead.

“Are you sure? If we get on the most exciting ride right away, the rest will seem boring…” He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck.

“I’m sure! But, you don’t have to get on if you’re too scared.” You tease him, letting go of his arm and walking towards the ride by yourself. “You can stay here!”

“No way—I-I’m not scared! You’re not leaving me behind,” Mark catches up with you as you go over to the ride and you smirk to yourself, glad that your reverse psychology worked.

You and Mark end up going on most of the rides the fair has to offer. You laugh at him once you both get off the rollercoaster, his hair windswept and sticking up in different directions. The ferris wheel makes you a bit dizzy, especially when you reach the very top, but Mark distracts you from the height by pointing out how pink the sky looks from this angle. The sun is close to setting, and its shining rays make Mark’s hair and eyes look like they’ve been set ablaze with warm, brown light. He looks back at you, and you abruptly bring your gaze up to the pink sky, pretending as if you weren’t staring at him the whole time.

Even the merry-go-round is fun with Mark pretending like he’s in the middle of a classic Western, riding his noble steed and playing the part of a brave, handsome cowboy.

You eventually take a food break when you get hungry, and you’re secretly thankful for the pause; your head’s spinning with how many rides you’ve been on. You don’t know the last time you’ve had this much fun at a fair, though, and you’re grateful for the change in your usual routine.

While you’re walking around the fairgrounds, you spot one of those ring toss games where you have to hit a certain number of bottles to win a prize. Mark notices your interest.

“Do you wanna play?” he asks.

“Hmm, maybe…” you say, your eyes drifting along the wall of prizes they have. One of them is an adorable stuffed dog with its little red tongue hanging out, and you immediately fall for it. You turn to Mark with your eyes shining. “Hey, Mark…”

He laughs, already one step ahead of you. “I’ll try it, then.”

In the end, Mark only gets the ring around 2 bottles. You giggle all the while, watching him give his best throws and still miss. 

“Hmm, that was just a warm-up round,” Mark insists once the game ends and he still hasn’t made any more wins. He cracks his knuckles and does an exaggerated stretch. “Check this out.”

“Oh, if you say so…” You smile as you watch him go for another round. The employee manning the game gives him a half skeptical, half amused look but lets him have another try. Unfortunately, the results are the same—he manages to get rings around two of the bottles while the rest remain untouched.

You walk up to Mark and pat him on the back once the game is over, and he gives you a sheepish smile in return. “Sorry, Y/N...I tried.” He turns back to the employee. “What kind of prize can I get with that?”

They pick a small keychain off the wall and hold it up. It’s a tiny replica of your city, with the name of it written in blocky, fun letters. “Pretty much this.”

“I’ll take it.” You hold your hand out for it and the employee passes it over. You give them a smile in return and look back at Mark, holding the keychain safely in your palm. “Let’s go! I don’t think we’ve tried the Tilt-a-Whirl yet...”

You and Mark don’t leave the festival until well after dark, and it’s a half hour to 10 when you check your phone. Even though it’s so late already, you’re still buzzing with energy and ready to hop to the next best thing. Mark seems to feel the same way, talking excitedly about all the things you saw and did at the fair.

His eyes sparkle with excitement, and it’s like his sheer elation transfers to you. Sometimes you wonder how he can manage to still be so childlike, but it’s endearing. The keychain sits safely in your purse, attached to your key ring where you clipped it immediately after getting it.

“I hope you enjoyed yourself today...even though I couldn’t get the stuffed dog you wanted.” Mark bites his lip.

You shake your head. “No, I had so much fun, that doesn’t matter! Really. Anyway, it’s not everyday you can go on a million rides in a night.”

“Forreal. Actually, I think might have permanent vertigo after this...”

You pause as a few drops of water hit your skin. They seemingly come out of nowhere, and it’s hard to tell if the sky is cloudy or not from the cover of night. But as more start hitting your skin, there’s no doubt about it—it’s rain. 

“It’s raining,” you gasp, and you barely have time to say anything else before the droplets start coming down harder. “Shit, my hair!”

To your surprise, Mark sheds his jacket and holds it over your head, pulling you closer. “We should make a run for it before it gets worse.”

“Where are we gonna go? Everything’s closed at this time of night,” you ask, but Mark is already pulling you along with him, and you can only speed up your pace to catch up.

“Whatever shelter we can find!”

Just like he predicted, the rain turns into a downpour and the water quickly permeates into your clothes, making you sticky and a little cold. You scream but keep running, not wanting the alternative of standing there and getting even more drenched.

You and Mark find a nearby coffee shop that’s still open and duck into it, shaking off as much rain as you can. You’re a little too soaked for it to be effective, but you’ll dry off eventually. One of the workers gives you both a weary look from behind the counter, and you know they’ll probably have a time cleaning the water up later.

You and Mark stand at the front counter and order your drinks, then take turns laughing at each other’s reflections in the counter’s metal surface. Your hair managed to avoid the worst of the water thanks to Mark’s noble move, but his own strands are plastered to his head. You nervously brush a few of them away from his forehead, saving him from the slow drips of water that keep falling in his eyes.

“You good?” you ask. You want to feel sorry for him, but you can’t stop yourself from cracking a grin at how cute and disheveled he looks. Like a soggy puppy.

“I’m fine,” he says, taking your hand that was just in his hair. “It’s just a little water...we can stay here until it stops raining, anyway. Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m alright.” You nod in agreement, not knowing quite what to say—you’re a little distracted by his hand holding yours. When you get your drinks, he lets go of you to take both cups, and you’re momentarily disappointed by the lack of contact.

You go to sit down at a small table near the window. It offers a clear view of the rain still pattering on the roads, and you watch cars kick up puddles of water as they drive past.

“That was kinda fun,” you say after taking a sip of your drink. You give a pleasant sigh at the feeling of the drink warming you up on the inside. “I mean, not so much the ‘getting soaked’ part...but the whole thing sorta reminds me of those romcoms.”

Mark cringes and laughs. “Are you into those kinda movies?

“It’s not a crime! They’re cute sometimes.”

“Is that a roundabout way of saying you want to be kissed in the rain? ‘Cause like, I-I’m up for it if you are,” Mark’s attempt at flirting is made unintentionally hilarious by him stammering midway, and you hide your face in your hands.

“Oh my God,” you groan. “You are really something else.”

Thankfully, the rain lets up just as the coffee shop starts closing up. You and Mark dispose of your cups and walk back outside, heading towards your apartment complex. You’re surprised at how much rain came down in such a small amount of time—the sidewalks and streets are completely waterlogged, and some of the water soaks into your shoes as you walk through the puddles. It’s still sprinkling a bit, but that’s better than being drenched.

The walk back is pleasantly quiet, the both of you finally having burned off the last of your remaining energy. You’re soon back at your apartment—maybe more quickly than you wanted to be—and standing in front of your door. You step away to look at Mark, pressing your back against the apartment door.

“So, I guess this is it?” You’re suddenly nervous again, unsure how the date is going to end—or how it should end. Will there be a kiss? Will he want to see you again? You’re sure he had a good time with you, but self-doubt can be a cruel mistress.

“I guess so,” Mark echoes. “Um, I—well, uh…” He seems like he wants to say something, but he gets a little stuck on the words.

“Maybe we should stop being so nervous around each other,” you blurt out, feeling your skin warm with embarrassment. Mark nods, scuffing his shoes along the floor.

“It’d probably be less awkward,” he admits, throwing you a nervous glance. 

You shrug, trying to seem more nonchalant than you feel. “I enjoyed myself, though. And, y-you know, I definitely wouldn’t mind going on another one…if you’re up for it?” You look at Mark from below your eyelashes, and he meets your eyes too, a cute grin spreading across his lips.

“Of course! Y-yeah, absolutely, we can text each other about it.”

“Great!” You clasp your hands together, racking your brain for something else to say. Lucky for you, Mark helps you out by asking,

“Can I....kiss you?”

Your breath hitches and you look at him with wide eyes. “Y-yes.”

Mark steps closer to you and his hand goes to your waist. You’re almost afraid you’re going to melt from all the different emotions you’re feeling, but you try to keep a steady expression as his face moves closer to yours. When he kisses you, his lips are gentle and sweet, like him.

You both smile shyly when you pull away, until you finally remember you’re standing outside your apartment door and need to unlock it. “Ah, right…” You unlock the door and step inside, looking back at Mark once you do. “I’ll see you later, okay?” You give him a small wave, and he returns it.

“See you.”

You allow yourself to let out the breath you were holding once you get to your bedroom. You want to throw yourself on the bed, but your clothes are still wet, so you opt for screaming into a nearby pillow. After dancing around the room for a moment or two, you dig into your purse so you can text your friend, and your hand bumps into your key ring.

You pull it out and look at the little keychain again, holding it carefully between your fingers and studying its design. It’s tiny, but it’s cute and wonderful and it reminds you of Mark, making little butterflies rise up in your stomach. It’s perfect.

[killiansprincss]

We Found Wonderland

Summary: Trapped in the past after the S3 finale, Killian and Emma are forced to fade into the background as a newly married couple in a village while Rumplestilskin works on the portal to send them back to the future. (No Marian) What challenges will they face, after all it’s only pretending to be married after all right? Inspired by Taylor Swift ‘Wonderland’

Due to tumblr word limit I’ve had to post this in 2 parts, find part 1 here

Also on AO3

“It was so lovely to meet you Emma, I love that I finally get to see the woman who keeps Killian on his toes. I hope we can do this again sometime.” Cassian says.

“Good luck with your child, I can see he or she will be brought into a loving house.” Emma tells them as they leave, not even looking in Killians direction.

____

“What the fuck was that all about back there?” Emma practically screams as they enter their home.

“What do you mean love?” Killian asks dumbfounded,

“Don’t play dumb with me Hook. The proposal story.” She uses his moniker, she’s angry with him, she’s pissed off.

“Touching didn’t you think? Really brought a tear to their eyes.” He smirks, he knows he’s winding her up but he doesn’t care.

“You want to know what I think? I think someone’s getting a little too comfortable in this life, you know pretending to be married and all. I think someone is forgetting. We are not actually married! We are not from here, we do not belong here. You’re in love with me but I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same.”

“You want the truth Swan?” Killian said through gritted teeth. “Fine. Yes I am getting comfortable with this life, for once you’re not always yelling at me when I’m trying to help. I won't lie and say I don’t enjoy you flirting with me for once instead of it always being me. And I don’t believe for a second my feelings for you are one sided.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Emma asks, the anger building up inside her.

Killian scoffs. “You know what I mean. When we were getting your parents together, at the ball. You looked at me different that night, like you were seeing a new side to me. You could’ve said something when we danced together over and over, but you didn’t. You got closer and closer to me over those 2 days, and when I rescued you from that blasted prison you acted like we were lovers and they didn’t question it. Ever since we found out we were stuck you’ve only been flirting with me more and more.”

“Because we are technically married. And it’s not flirting. It’s-“ Emma begins.

Killian moves closer, closing the gap between the two. She can practically feel his heartbeat as he looks into her eyes, “it’s what? Because I think you’re trying to ignore that gut feeling that you feel something for me. You don’t want to admit how you truly feel. What I feel. I’m not an idiot, you kissed me back in Neverland for a reason, and you felt something as I did. Bloody hell, I gave up everything for you Emma, I traded my ship to Blackbeard to get a magic bean to find you in New York even though you had no idea who I was. I-I” he couldn’t quite finish his sentence.

“You did what? Your ship?” Emma’s tone suddenly changes, “as in the Jolly Roger?”

Killian nods. “Aye. It was the only thing worth a magic bean.”

“You traded your ship for me?” She asks, still in shock. Nobody had done that for her before, he literally gave up his home for her. Everything he had. And she was a bitch to him.

Killian just nods. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it important.”

His ship. His home. Killian traded his home to find Emma. She had no idea who he was, he didn’t know if the memory potion would even work, but he did it anyway. He came and found her, brought her home.

Instead of saying anything Emma takes another step towards Killian closing the already small gap between them and captures his lips with hers.

They both didn’t know how much they had been longing for this, it was similar to their first kiss back in the Neverland jungle, hot and fiery. It’s filled with passion and wanting. Killian breaks the kiss for just a second to move positions and when his lips are back on Emma’s small moans escape. For in this moment, in this kiss, nothing else mattered. They forgot about their argument, about the angry screams and cusses from before. All that mattered was each other and that they were together now.

Emma wraps her legs around a Killians waist as he leads them over to the bed. Suddenly only having one bed and having to share didn't seem like such a problem.

The moans escaping from each other’s lips were getting more frequent and louder with each kiss. These enchanted forest clothes were a lot harder to remove than modern ones, but Killian was happy to oblige the removal of the dress.

“God's you’re beautiful.” Killain says taking in the sight of the almost naked Emma.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” Emma tells him. She wants him, she needs him.

Killian happily obliges, kissing her lips and her cheek and her neck leaving marks that will need covering up tomorrow. He sucks on her neck and leaves hot kisses down from her neck down her body, paying close attention to her breasts and then her stomach and inner thighs causing her back to arch and more moans start to escape.

“Killian I need you please.” Emma pleads, she wanted him.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes please. Please.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

After that night of pleasure, they never had to argue over the bed or awkwardly untangle themselves in the mornings. The next few months are spent exploring each other’s bodies every night, and finding out new things about each other every day.

Their relationship took a turn from pretending to be real and pretending to be in love, to not being so pretend anymore. They fell into the routine of a happily married couple.

There was also something else magical about that night. It seemed Emma’s magic had returned. Sparks flew that night in one way or another. It was electrifying.

___

“Hmm something smells good.” Emma says as she walks through the door after another horrible day at work.

Killian comes out from around the corner and presses a kiss to her lips.”I’m glad you’re home. I made you a surprise for dinner.”

“You know I hate surprises.” She whines

Killian chuckles, “I promise you are going to love this surprise.”

Emma sits down at the table as Killian puts a blindfold on his ‘wife’. “Whatever this is it smells good.”

Killian removes the blindfold as he pieces the plate of food in front of her,

“Is this?” Emma asks as she sees what seems to be a grilled cheese in front of her.

“My attempt at an Enchanted Forest Grilled Cheese. I went to the market and got the finest bread and the best cheese imported from Agrabah. I then made it into a sandwich and heated it up. I couldn’t figure out how to make the onion rings, which you so enjoy too, but this is the best I could do.”

“You did this for me?” Emma is shocked that he did this for her, he didn’t have to, but he did.

“I know you’re missing home, I can’t go to Granny herself and ask her to make you one, but this is the next best thing.” Killian gives her a smile. It wasn’t to get points or anything, he did it because he was really enjoying their time together but she was always talking about Stortybrooke, so he thought he’d bring a little bit of it to their home.

“Oh.My. God. This is incredible.”she says as she takes a bite “I love you.”

Realising what she just said, they’re both taken aback.

“Slip of though don’t worry I’ll pretend you didn’t say it.” He says awkwardly scratching behind his ear, a sad tone in his voice.

“No. No, I meant it. Sure it was a slip of the tongue but I don’t regret saying it. Killian, I love you.” She finally admits. “I didn’t admit how I was feeling for the longest time, but you stayed with me and helped me through it all. You didn’t have to come find me in New York but you did, you didn’t have to help me make sure my parents met but you did. You even became my fake husband so that we can slip through the cracks until we can go home.”

Her walls were slowly coming down each day she spent with Killian. He wasn’t running away, and Emma didn’t want to run when it all became real either. And for each wall he crashed through, she didn’t feel the need to build another.

“Gods I’m so pleased to hear you say that Swan.” Killian grabs her by the waist and spins her around, releasing laughter from Emma. “I love you too Emma. So much.”

_____

So we went on our way

Too in love to think straight

All alone, or so it seemed

But there were strangers watching

And whispers turned to talking

And talking turned to screams

Emma and Killian had been in the Enchanted Forest for around 10 months, hopefully Rumplestilskin would keep his word and have the portal so that they could go back to their world in 2 months time.

10 months in the Enchanted Forest, and Emma was still not used to the clothes or the food. Cassian and Maeve had invited them round a few more times, and this time they didn't need to lie about their relationship or their feelings as much anymore. The two of them had welcomed a baby girl, and Maeve had returned to work at the tavern, so at least Emma was no longer alone in battling off the creepy men.

Although, Emma couldn’t completely control her magic so there were times it spiraled out of control and she had hoped nobody would notice it was her. There was one time she was pouring drinks, it was a really busy shift, and she accidentally made the barrels explode and beer went everywhere. It took a lot of effort not to laugh at the beer that practically drenched the guy that had been trying to touch her up all shift.

“This happens all the time, don’t worry about it.” Maeve tells Emma as she grabs a rag to start cleaning up.

Phew. She got away with it. For now.

Except it kept happening.

Emma didn’t know why or what was happening, but her magic was uncontrollable.

“It’s happening again, I don’t know what to do.” She confides in Killian. She knows he will want to help, and not just because it will keep their secret safe.

Killian trusts her, he knows her magic is never intended to harm anybody. “Why does it keep happening at work, you don’t seem to have outbursts at home.”

“I feel safe at home.” Emma admits. “When I’m with you, I feel safe, I can pretend it’s just us and the rest of the world doesn’t exist. When I’m at work I get nervous because you’re not there and I have to do it all alone, keep up appearances. You’re so much better at it than I am.”

“I have something for you then.” Killian says as he pulls a chain from around his neck, with a cool silver ring attached.

“Wow, wow wow.” Emma’s heart suddenly starts to race, she loved Killian, but if this ring was his way of proposing they were moving way too quickly.

“Calm down Swan, I’m not proposing.” He realises he should have led with that before pulling out a ring. “You know I’m a survivor, and this ring is why. It belonged to my brother, a better man than I am. It’s kept me safe all these years, and now it’s going to keep you safe. At the very least it’s a reminder that you’ve got a smouldering piercing eyed pirate at home who loves you.”

She kisses him and smiles. Her smile is so bright, nobody has ever cared or loved her the way Killian does, and it’s kind of scary, but Killian hasn’t left her, he stuck by her and she’s slowly realising that being in love, especially with Killian, is nothing to be afraid of. “I love you too.”

Now when she was at work and felt her magic or became overwhelmed, she would hold the ring on the chain, and breathe. She would think of Killian and how they would be going home soon.

______

For the first couple weeks after clinging to the ring, Emma was fine. Her magic did become slightly overwhelming but she took the ring and held it for a few seconds, thought of Killain, and she was fine.

But then their story started getting poked at.

“Where did you say you came from again?” A girl at work would ask.

“Crestbourne, just north of here.” Emma says, hoping the subject will change soon.

“Crestborune? Isn’t that South?”

Emma plays dumb, “Right, I meant South. Sorry my head is spinning today, too much rum after work last night,”

Killian experienced the same thing.

“You say you were in the Royal Navy Jones?” Someone at work would ask.

“Aye, me and my brother. Under King Elijah.”

“Only because I have a friend currently in King Elijah’s army, and he hadn’t heard of a Jones in that army for over a hundred years.”

Killian didn’t know what to say, he didn’t expect to be caught out like this. So he just laughs and says, “Well I guess I didn’t make much of an impact if nobody remembers me.” It’s the best he can do.

That night at home, Emma and Killian discuss their situation.

“What do we do? Go back to Rumple? Work for him for the next 2 months?” Emma suggests, despite the fact that she doesn’t want to do this, maybe they had no choice.

“No. Absolutely not. I still don’t trust the Crocodile. If we go to him now before the Portals is ready- who knows what he’ll do with us?” Killian had every right to be afraid, especially as this Rumpelstiltskin was not the Mr. Gold they could threaten in Storybrooke.

Emma was worried, how much longer could this go on? “Then what do you plan we do?”

Killian takes Emma’s hand and pulls her in for a kiss. “We’ve come this far together. As long as we stick together, we can wager any more storms that come our way.”

Emma can’t help but smile at his sea analogies. But he was right, they had survived ten months together without any complications, they just needed to survive 2 more. As long as they were together, they could do this.

____

The next day Emma heads to work with Maeve, they both have an afternoon shift and she appreciated the company. Poor Maeve is working 3 days at the tavern and 4 days at the market. She and Cassian can barely afford clothes for their baby girl who is growing every day. Emma wishes she could tell her that it gets better, and that soon she hopefully wouldn’t have these problems. She’s pretty sure all jobs in Storybrooke pay a decent living wage.

“What’s happening up there?” Emma asks Maeve as they see a crowd start to form outside the tavern.

“I’m not sure.” Maeve looks equally as confused as they approach the growing crowd.

“WITCHES! BURN THE WITCHES!” They hear.

Oh no. No. This was not good.

This wasn’t like Storybrooke, people didn’t always accept magic here. And if they found out about Emma, who knows what they would do to her.

“I know there’s a witch here. Strange things have been happening, I know magic when I see it.” A man with a pitchfork says. Emma recognises him as a regular. A regular who likes to touch the girls that work there.

Emma’s heart is suddenly racing. Last night she made the barrels explode again. She tried to think of Killian and his ring, but she heard the name ‘Henry’ and her emotions, and therefore her magic was spiralling. The lights flickered before they cut out immediately and goblets started to shatter-despite being made of a heavy duty material.

Maeve looks at Emma, “Go. Go now before they find you.

Emma gives her a confused look, “what do you mean?”

In a quiet voice, she tells her, “I know you have magic. I see it, but you can’t control it. You would never use it to hurt anybody, but they don’t know that. Go now, escape while you still can.”

Emma gives Maeve a hug, “Thank you.”

“I know you don’t belong here. So I hope you can get back to wherever it is.” Maeve whispers.

Emma nods, Maeve was smart. “Things will get better. I promise.” Before she runs away back to their home.

Bursting through the door, she sees Killian taking a nap, he’d been working a lot more shifts lately, in his attempt to slip through the cracks.

“Killian! Wake up! Killain! We need to get out of here. They know. We need to find Rumple. I don’t care that it's only been 10 months. I need to be safe. I can’t do this anymore.” She’s rambling, Killian can’t understand what she’s saying.

“Swan calm down. What’s going on?” Killian asks, in his half sleep state.

Emma takes a deep breath and explains the Witch Hunt going on outside the tavern and how Maeve knows she has magic, and has given her a head start.

“THE WITCH LIVES HERE! I'VE SEEN IT!”

Suddenly there’s a pounding on their door. Emma and Killian look at one another. “Swan if you have a way of getting us out by magic, do it now.”

The door breaks down and there’s a crowd of angry villagers with pitchforks and spires, “There’s the witch, I’ve seen sparks and white fog coming from their house time and time again. She’s practising magic.”

“Killian I can’t control it, I don’t know how to get us out.” Emma whispers, panic setting in, her fists are glowing, letting the angry villagers know they’re right about their assumptions.

“Swan. Look at me.” Killian says, using his one hand to turn Emma’s face to his.”Your magic is inside of you. I understand you can’t control it, but I’ve seen you do it before. You can do this, I believe in you.”

Emma takes Killians hand in hers and thinks hard about what she wants. She wants to get home to their family. Killian has been by her side through it all, he’s been her rock, she thinks of his ring and how much she loves him. She feels her power, and focuses on escaping.

Her fists glow brighter, and a second later they disappear in a puff of white smoke, and appear into the great hall of Rumple's Castle.

Emma opens her eyes to see the results of her first time really using her magic.

“You did it Swan!” Killian wraps his arms around her. “You’re bloody brilliant you know that!”

Emma breathes a sigh of relief as she hugs Killian. She did it, she actually did it.

“You wield in magic. I’m impressed.” Rumples' voice tears them from each other’s thoughts about what just happened.

“The villagers found out about us lying. And we were at the centre of a witch hunt. Is there any way the portal can be ready early?” Emma is practically begging, which she never thought she would. This Rumple was far less likely to help them than Gold.

The Dark One just laughs. “Oh I haven’t been working on the portal.”

“Please tell me this is a joke.” Killian half laughs, hoping it wasn’t true.

Rumple raises his eyebrows, “I don’t joke. I’ve been working on a memory potion for myself. I already know too much about the future, can’t know anymore.”

Pressing her lips together to stop her from wringing her hands around his neck, Emma simply asks, “so how do we get home?”

“With this.” He says as a wand poofs into his hand.

“I don’t understand.”

Rumple rolls his eyes at Emma. “You have proven yourself powerful enough these past few months, you are the only one who can replicate the spell that brought you here.”

“So you’re telling me, these past 10 months have been a test? That we didn’t need to make up a fake life and live here?” Killian asks, anger building up.

Rumple laughs. “Of course it was a test! You needed to prove you were powerful enough. And like I said, there was no use for you in my Castle, I already had help.” Emma notices the Castle isn’t as clean as it was 10 months ago, assuming Belle had been captured by Regina by now.

“I’m gonna kill him when we get home.” Emma whispers to herself.

/\/\/\/\

Rumple poofs them into the basement, or the dungeon of his Castle, filled with what was most likely the most dangerous magic and weapons.

The glamour Rumple had put them on had vanished, and they were back in their other clothes, Emma’s leather jacket, her armour was back on and she felt somewhat safe. The wand felt heavy in her hand, it was powerful magic, also likely dark magic if it were able to replicate any spell or curse.

“How do I do this?” She asks Killian.

“You’re the magic one Swan not me.” His tone was cold, what was up with him?

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Just eager to get home.” He says looking around at the magical objects

Emma lowers the wand and turns to face Killian. “What’s wrong with you?

Avoiding her gaze, he simply says. “Everything changes when we’re home.”

Emma furrows her brow, “What’s changing?” She grabs his hand and forces him to look at her. “Killian, what is going to change?”

“Us, Everything. Your feelings for me. It was nice while it lasted.”

“You think I’m going to leave you when we get back home?” She asks, slightly hurt that he would even think that.

“I’m a Pirate Swan. You think your family of royals and heroes are going to accept me?” Killian was afraid of going home, it wouldn’t just be him and Emma anymore.

“Killian, I love you. And that’s not going away when we get home. I don’t care what my parents think, you have stayed with me all this time. You have a mark in the hero column.” She kisses him, letting him know that while things will be different, things aren’t going to change between them.

As she kisses him, the wand In her hand begins to glow white. Holding Killians hand tight, she raises the wand in the air and thinks of home, and her family.

“You did it Swan.” Killian says, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, looking at the golden shimmering portal which had opened.

“Let’s go home.” She says as she places the wand on the table and grabs Killians hand as they jump into the Portal.

/\/\/\/\

They come through the Portal with a bump. Storybrooke. They’re home.

“We did it! We’re home!” Emma can feel tears coming from her eyes, she didn’t know when she would see home again.

“You did it Swan. You’re bloody amazing.” Killain says picking her up and spinning her around, the same way as when Emma told him she loved him.

“Let’s go. Let’s go find our family.” Killian could almost cry at the way Emma said ‘our’, they may not be married anymore, but she still loved him and they were in this together. Whatever they face next, they face it together.

And so they walk hand in hand to Granny’s to find everyone.

In Storybrooke, only a matter of days had passed, thankfully they hadn’t missed almost a year. But she did miss the official name ceremony of her baby brother, Prince Leo, named after Snow's father.

“So you’re Princess Leia?” Snow asks, as they flick through Henry’s book to find Emma and Killians adventure now in it.

Henry chuckles, “Nice alias Mom!”

“I guess that means you’re finally one of us. A fairytale princess at last.” David says as he muses the picture of Emma and Hook dancing together at the ball.

“So what happened after that? You were there almost a year? What was it like? Did you slay a dragon, or get caught in the ogre war?” Henry asks, wanting to know all about her Enchanted Forest adventure.

Emma rolls her eyes, “Sorry Kid, no dragon slaying or ogres. Gold, or uh Rumple. He wanted to test us, test my magic. So we had to pretend to be a married couple living in a small village out of sight, and I had to work in a tavern for 10 months until my magic returned and I was the focus of a witch hunt.”

“Witch Hunt?”

“Married to Hook?”

Her parents clearly had different reactions to her story.

Emma just laughs, “It was a scary experience all right. But I couldn’t have gotten through it without my ‘husband’. It wasn’t so bad, but I’m so happy to be back at Granny’s, I missed her onion rings.” And she gives Hook a knowing look that causes them both to smile at the memory.

“Wait-are you two?” Henry asks realising the looks and smiles his mother was sharing with Hook.

Emma doesn’t quite know how to react, she wasn’t ashamed, but her family didn't know Killian like she did.

“I’m happy for you Emma. Really.” Snow says, holding out her hands to both Emma and Hook.

“I guess the Pirate isn’t so bad, as long as you don’t hurt her I’m happy.” David fights the urge to say something worse, but in all honesty he was happy for Emma.

“Does this mean Hook can teach me how to sword fight?” Henry asks his grandparents with a grin on his face making Emma smile.

Her family was reunited. She wasn’t alone anymore. She had a family who loved her and wouldn’t leave her. It may have taken time, and a curse, but it was worth it. Henry didn’t bring her to Storybrooke to break some curse, he was bringing her home.

[talpup]

Summary: Yami Sukehiro just wanted to join the Magic Knights and make his mentor proud.  He knew there would be trails.  He knew trouble would come his way.  Knew he would be faced with discrimination for being a foreigner and a peasant.  What he didn’t know.  Didn’t expect.  Was that literal Chaos would come his way.  That he and his mentor’s sister would be at the center of world ending trouble.  Or that he would fall in love with his mentor’s sister and face more than discrimination; but the jealousy of Nozel Silva who loved the same woman he did.

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, sexual behavior, and other possible triggers. For a full list of story tags please check the fics AO3 (link to that at the top of my tumblrs homepage).

Chapter 101

Teris sat down at a table with her friends.  Excited for their much needed girls day, Venice and Teris had decided to leave early and have breakfast at a restaurant in Raque.  Since Abril and Bran weren’t meeting Ricte till later in the afternoon, the two had joined them.

With the restaurant crowded, they took the first available table.  At first Abril had complained about sitting out on the balcony, muttering about the salty sea breeze.  Then she made Teris move, saying she wanted the seat with a view of the water.

Having seen the view from higher balcony’s at much fancier restaurants, Teris let Abril have the seat without a fuss.  Hopefully giving Abril the seat would better her mood and allow Teris and Venice to finally get Abril to open up about what was going on with her, Gendry, and Ricte.

But apparently Venice had other ideas since as soon as the waitress took their order and left, she looked at Teris and demanded to know. “What’s going on?”

Teris blinked in surprise.  “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb.  Spill.”  Abril ordered.

“About Yami?”  Teris’ eyes darted to Bran.  She wasn’t adverse to girl talk; but there was no way she was doing so with Bran there.

“No, silly.  How are you holding up?  First Bran and I bring in that guy from those Crazies, only to have him die five days later.  And the day after Bran and I bring that guy in, you and Yami are abducted. Never mind Nozel and Fuegoleon getting taken the night before that and ending up in Healers Hall.”  Venice frowned, worried about her friend.  “It’s no wonder Jax gave you and Yami the day off.  You two have been through a lot.”

Teris huffed.  “When aren’t we going through a lot?  I have a feeling that’s what they’re going to put on my headstone.  Here lies Teris Nova, she went through a lot.”

“Hey! Don’t talk like that!  Your name’s gonna be Teris Sukehiro by the time there’s need for any headstone.”  Teasing as she was, Venice was also deadly serious.  There was no way her friend was dying anytime soon.  Not if she had something to say about it.

“I know you can’t say much.  But at least tell us you all learned something useful before that guy died.”  Abril said, hopeful tone filled with disgust for Flic and the Agents of Chaos.

Teris glanced a Bran once again, knowing he knew the sad truth that they had learned little to nothing of use from Flic.  Looking between Venice and Abril, she sighed wondering what she could tell her friends that would give them hope but wouldn’t be a lie.

101.2

Yami hadn’t needed his sense of Ki to be able to tell Bran had been disappointed he wouldn’t be spending the day off with the guys. Bran’s guilt over his boyhood friend sweetening up to Abril, when Gendry had been the first Black Bull to befriend him, likely hadn’t helped.  At least Gendry wasn’t the kind of person who took his hurt and jealousy out on others.  Yami doubted he would’ve been so dispassionate if in Gendry’s place.  In fact he had taken his fair share of anger and jealousy over Nozel out on Bran by kicking the younger man out of his room so he could sit at Bran’s window and wait for Teris to return.

Teris… Yami smiled at the thought of her.  He had teased her early this morning, feigning hurt feelings and saying she couldn’t wait to be away from him.  Teris had laughed at his toying act and silenced him with a kiss, promising to make it up to him later.  That promise made Yami eager for the days end so he could return to her.  But first, he had some mana to expend in the hopes that it would ease the building force inside him and help with the constant undercurrent that made him want to destroy somebody just for breathing in his direction.

Seated on the ground along the perimeter of the Green Mantis’ training yard, Yami drank from a water skin and watched Jack and Tobin start their fight.

“This should be interesting.  Jack’s slash magic can cut through anything given enough time to adjust but against Tobin’s giant magic it won’t make much of a difference.”  Yami turned to Gendry thinking of the battle they just had.  “You’ve progressed further since last time we fought.  Who have you been training with?”

Gendry shrugged, eyes on the match.  “Who ever I can.  Mostly Bran.”

Yami nodded.  Bran and Gendry were both Third Class Intermediate Magic Knights.  Though his and Teris’ influence might've encouraged the rest of the Black Bulls to be a little more engaged and proactive about their duties.  It had been Gendry's friendship with Bran that had prompted Gendry into wanting to become a better Magic Knight. Sadly, Abril hadn’t been all that enthused about Gendry’s newfound interest.  Instead of seeing it as something they could do together, Abril complained about the time Gendry’s new focus took away from their usual activities.

Yami pushed the cork back in the stopper and tossed the water skin aside. “We should schedule a regular sparring session.  Nothing too frequent.  Every other week or once a month maybe.”

“I would've thought you had enough going on with being Vice Captain and dealing with the Agents of Chaos mess.”  Gendry said.

“If you don’t want to just say so.”  Yami said, eyes on Jack and Tobin.

“That’s not it at all.  I’d like to have a set sparring session with you. I could use the practice.”

“Then?” Yami questioned.

“It’s exactly as I said.  I thought you’d be bogged down and busy.  I don’t want to add to the pile of things pulling at you and become a nuisance.”  Gendry said.

Yami huffed, eyes following the fight.  “Don’t think you’re capable of being a nuisance.”

“Tell that to Abril.”  Gendry muttered.

Yami raised an eyebrow.  He was no closer to understanding Gendry and Abril’s relationship then he had been during his first year as a Magic Knight.  Not that he had bothered trying to understand it. Still, Gendry was a friend and friends had to occasionally show they had an interest in the others hopes and lives.

“Still wanna marry her?”  Yami asked.

“I said I think I might want to marry her.  And yeah.  I still think I might.” Gendry said.

“Then fix things with her and see that she’s happy.  If that’s too much trouble then let it go and be glad you have your answer on that ‘might want to marry her’ thing.”  Yami told.

“You and Teris make it look so easy.”  Gendry sighed, his complaint both envious and amazed.

Yami’s hearty laugh bounced off the surrounding trees.  It echoed so loudly through the sparring field that it gave Tobin pause.  Jack took advantage of the distraction, sending out a slash that knocked Tobin on his ass.

Gaining control of his laughter, Yami asked.  “Which part looks easy? Dealing with a group of crazies?  Or being unable to go out and do anything together because Bird Braid’s father might send more people to try and kill me?  Or maybe it’s the likely future fight I’ll have with her brother to free her from her family that looks easy to you.”

“I don’t mean any of that.”  Gendry said.  “I know none of that can be easy.  But that’s all outward stuff you have to deal with. I’m talking about the two of you.  As a couple.”

Yami’s humored grin turned dopey as he thought of Teris.  “Yeah.  I really lucked out.  Teris is an easy woman to get along with.  Pig headed, prideful, overly curious, too caring brat that she is; she’s perfect.”

“Abril’s great too.  I just wish she thought I wasn’t so inconsequential.” Gendry said.

“If she thinks that then she stupider than I thought.”  Yami said, seeing that Jack was leading Tobin to make the kind of strike he wanted in order to serve up a good return.

Gendry scowled at Yami.

Sensing the change in his friend, Yami said by way of apology. “Fine. No bad talking the Inch Worm.  So what’s the problem between you two anyway?”

Gendry ran a hand through his hair.  Other than Abril’s complaints about the time his training took away from them, there was the matter of Ricte.  But Ricte was a secondary problem.  A causal result of an underlying problem he had been unable to name.  “I don’t know.”

“Then find out.  If it’s something you think is worth working on, work on it.”  Yami said.

“What if it’s me?  What if there’s something about me that she doesn’t like?”  Gendry asked.

“She wouldn’t be your constant shadow and complaining that your training was taking time away from her if she wasn’t interested in you.” Yami told.

Gendry nodded at that, feeling better.  “So what do you say to every other Monday morning?”

Yami’s brows pulled together.  “For?”

“Our sparing sessions.”  Gendry said.

Yami shook his head.  “I got way too much going on.  You’d only become a nuisance.”

“Every other Monday it is.”  Gendry grinned.

101.3

Breakfast long since finished Teris, Venice, Abril, and Bran still sat at the balcony table.

“Betrothed?” Teris blinked at Venice.  “When?  How?  Kess and Jon haven’t been dating that long.  Have they?  It’s not like they had long held feelings for each another the way Tobin did for you.  Did they?”

Venice shrugged her shoulders.  “Don’t know.  I didn’t think he liked anyone else while we were dating.  I only heard about the engagement yesterday afternoon.  From the sound if it, they had some big fancy dinner between their families the day before that.  I don’t know anything more.  But since you know how all that stuff works.  I was hoping you could tell me if this was Jon or his parents doing.”

Teris shook her head in disbelief.  For it to be official and celebrated with a dinner, Jon and Kess’ parents would've had to have agreed to the match.  But was it their parents who had made the match?  Or Jon and Kess seeking one, and gaining approval?  Jon might've been a bastard son of Lord Denwulf.  But the Denwulf’s were quite a ways up the noble ladder from Kess’ family.  And with Kess being the youngest of three daughters, it wasn’t too far fetched for Lord Yates to look to wed Kess to Jon.

“What’s it matter anyway?  You’re with Tobin.”  Abril said.

“I just think it’s a bit sudden and am worried for Jon’s sake.” Venice snapped.  “I mean, he and Kess just started dating what? Back near the Star Awards?”

“Far as we know.”  Teris nodded.

Abril shrugged.  “Well, when you know.  You know.”

Teris and Venice turned to her.

“What?” Abril demanded, shoulders stiffening under their gaze.

Bran’s eyes darted around the three women.  He had been quiet for so long, he wondered if they had forgotten he was there.  Having been the first son, Bran was use to being forgotten while his seven older sisters talked.  In his experience, being forgotten was far better than being remembered.

“What do you know of it?”  Venice scoffed.

Abril crossed her arms, scowling.  “Apparently nothing.”  Before talk of Jon and Kess could continue, Abril exhaled loudly.  Resting her elbows on the table, she whined.  “How does one know?”

“How does one know what?”  Teris asked.

“That someone’s the one.  How do you know?”  Abril asked.

“I thought Gendry was your one.”  Venice teased.

“So did I.”  Abril mumbled.

Sharing a look with Venice, Teris prompted.  “But?”

“I don’t know!  He never talks of the future.  How can I know Gendry’s the one if I don’t know if I’m his one?”  Abril asked.

“Because the only other person Gendry regularly talks to is Yami and Bran, and I don’t think he wants to end up with either of them.”  Venice played.

“It doesn’t really matter how Gendry feels.  I mean, it does in the end.  But it doesn’t change the way you feel at the start.  Think about how torn up I was during that time Yami refused to speak to me before we got together.  Him being an idiot ass didn’t change how I felt about him.  Or how Tobin felt about Venice.”  Teris gestured to her friend.

“The man was persistent.”  Venice nodded of Tobin.

“I finally told him how I feel.”  Abril muttered about Gendry.

“In words?  With your voice?”  Venice questioned, in disbelief.

Abril nodded.

“What did he say?”  Teris asked.

“What he always says.  Nothing.”  Abril answered, exasperated.

Venice huffed.  “Sounds about right.  Guys are stupid.  They either won’t shut up when you want them to be quiet.  Or they refuse to talk when you want them to speak.”

“They’re not some pet that obeys.”  Teris chuckled.

“I know!  They’re incapable of obeying.  Though it’d be nice if they at least tried to listen.”  Venice complained.

Teris shook her head smiling.

“Ricte proposed.”  Abril said.

“What!” The two girls and Bran exclaimed.

“Why?” Bran demanded in guilty horror.

“When?” Teris asked.

“How?” Venice questioned.

“In his last letter.”  Abril answered.

“He proposed in a letter?”  Venice asked, incredulous.

Teris stared, dumbfounded.

Bran frowned, unhappy with his friend.

“That’s her there.”  Someone said, pointing to their table.

For a second Teris thought their waitress had complained to the restaurants manager about them lingering at the table till noon and was pointing them out.  She had a moment to think that they should leave a hefty tip for taking up the spot and the waitress’ chance of further customers when a magical burst of air exploded at their table knocking them back.

101.3.2

“When you insisted I take some time off, I didn’t expect you to pay call and ask for this.”  Nozel murmured, uncomfortably.

Walking beside her Vice Captain, Kess glanced out over the sea shore.  While not blatantly obvious, it was clear Nozel had been struggling with some inner turmoil since his release from Healer’s Hall after his abduction by the Agents of Chaos.  It was why Kess had given Nozel three days leave as soon as his debriefing about those events was done.

“Neither did I.”  Kess tucked her hair behind an ear, betrothal ring glittering in the sunlight.  “And I’m sorry to take you away from your family on your last day off, but I could use some help.  And, well… I thought this might be a way for us to bond outside of work.”

Nozel’s father wasn’t even here.  And after three days with his siblings, Nozel wasn’t all that sorry to be called away from them.  He usually avoided Noelle at all costs anyway, and Nebra wanted to do nothing more than lounge out on the family’s private beach; where all Solid had done the entire time was complain about everything. Funnily enough the one thing Solid hadn’t complained about was Nozel leaving them to help his Captain in her ask.  Instead Solid had taken advantage of it, saying if Nozel could go off without them then he and their cousin Kirsch could leave Nebra, Noelle, and Mimosa at the Silva’s beach estate and come into town for the day.

That’s where Nozel was now, walking the bustling boardwalk of Raque with Captain Kess.  A part of him wondered why he and his Captain needed anything more than a working relationship; an all business approach had seemed to work well enough for Captain Pyter.  But since becoming Vice Captain, Nozel had discovered that, though not necessary, some kind of acquaintance outside of work was of helpful use for the productive betterment of work.  That’s not to say he was going to turn into Captain Kess and seek to be warm and inviting, encouraging his subordinates to come to him with their personal problems.  But he didn’t want to be like Captain Pyter had been either, completely distant and uninterested in his squad members troubles.

Yet even after coming to the conclusion that developing some kind of friendly acquaintance outside of work was of benefit, Nozel thought his Captain's request was too much.  More than that, he didn’t think he was anywhere near qualified to help her.  Personally, Nozel wouldn’t have even asked his closest friend to help choose a betrothal gift; though Fuegoleon likely would’ve invited himself. Yet here Nozel was, at Kess’ request, helping her pick out a betrothal gift for Jon when he barely knew Kess or the Azure Deers Vice Captain outside of them being capable Magic Knights.

Nozel cleared his throat to say as much for the second time when a small explosion from a balcony down the way had them rushing to see what happened.

101.3.3

Coughing, Teris blinked through the dust and tried to focus her blurred vision. Though the ringing in her ears muffled most everything out, she managed to hear someone talking.

The voice said.  “We only need the light magic user.”

Hearing the same, Venice shouted.  “Teris!  Get out of here!”

Teris was loathed to leave her friends.  But if all they wanted was her, chances were it would be safer for her friends and trapped civilians if she left.  Heart hammering, she thought of Yami.  If they wanted her, did that mean there were others looking for him?

Her friends were close enough that she could light travel them all. Hoping she didn’t burn them too badly, Teris attempted to light travel them all to the Green Mantis sparring field where she knew Yami to be.

A cold prickle ran down her spine when she wasn’t able to.  It was different from the negating effects of Calen’s magic.  This felt more like a constraining barrier.

She looked up and saw herself crouching twenty paces away.  Surreal as the sight was, Teris instantly realized Abril had used her transformation magic to take her form.  So whatever was stopping her from light traveling wasn’t blocking all magic.  That was good to know.

Teris shook her head at Abril trusting she would understand the message that they were stuck here.  Never did she expect Abril to answer Venice in her stead.

“I can’t.  They must have some sort of blocking thingy.”  Abril hollered.

Knowing Teris would never refer to a magical block as a blocking thingy, Venice's face scrunched up.  She turned, the two Teris’ giving her pause for a fraction of a second.  Seeing Bran near the real Teris, she gave a tight smile and nodded.

Eyes on Abril, Venice said.  “Guess we’ll have to make a run for it, Vice Captain.  On your order.”

Abril blinked.  As accustomed as she was to yelling about how she wanted things done, no one ever listened.  She finally understood Gendry’s reasoning for wanting to become a better Magic Knight.  It wasn’t because he had sold out to the system and wanted to move up the ranks.  It was because he wanted to be of help to his friends.

“Now!” Another female voice commanded.

The four Black Bulls turned to see Kess and Nozel.  Teris’ eyes widened, realizing what the newly arrived Silver Eagles were about to do.

“Move!” Teris ordered Venice and Abril as she grabbed a hold of Bran.

Thankfully Bran was already cloaked in mana skin.  It made Teris feel less guilty for shoving him over the broken balcony railing.  Without a moments pause, she jumped after him.

Nozel’s mercury rain could be made dense or sparse.  The one thing he could not yet do was direct it so as not to strike comrades who were in the field of the silver drops.  Kess used her shadow magic to form long arms that pulled and pushed citizens out of danger.  The Silver Eagles Captain created a shield that blocked one of Nozel’s liquid metal drops from hitting Venice.

“Nozel. Cover the other one.  Venice and I got Teris.”  Kess ordered, moving to Abril.

Nozel wasn’t sure if his Captain realized that wasn’t the real Teris, but he did.  Abril might be able to make herself look like Teris; but she moved nothing like Teris.

A magical eagle of mercury waiting to catch him, the Silver Eagle’s Vice Captain leapt over the balcony’s edge.  He saw Teris battling someone a couple blocks away and flew over to assist.  Knocking the man out from behind, Nozel made sure to cut the assailant with his mercury.  If the man managed to regain consciousness before things calmed and he was arrested, mercury poisoning would slow him down.

Pulling Teris onto the mercury eagle with him, Nozel took back to the air. “Where’s Bran?”

“I sent him to the nearest Sentries station to contact Headquarters for back-up.”  Teris answered.

Nozel shook his head.  “Doubt they’ll have better luck.  Captain Kess already tried to use her communication crystal to call for reinforcements.”

Teris cursed, having feared as much; but Bran was clever.  He would know a communications block when faced with one and order whatever Sentries had magic capable of flight or other swift travel to get outside of the block and contact Headquarters.  Till then--

Teris frowned.  “Where are you taking us?”

Eyes scanning for attackers, Nozel told.  “Outside of whatever block they have in place.  I’m guessing that’s why you haven’t light traveled to safety; because whatever they’re doing to block communications is also blocking transportation spells.”

“No!”

“No?” Nozel glanced at her, brow furrowed.

Teris shook her head.  “I mean, yes, they’re probably blocking transportation spells; I can’t light travel.  But you can’t take us away!  My friends--”

“You’re the one they want.”  Nozel cut in.

“And Abril was left behind looking exactly like me!  Nozel, we can’t run.  I’m their Vice Captain.”

Ignoring her, Nozel kept flying.  Did Teris think he wanted to leave the others behind?  It was his duty as a Magic Knight to protect the Clover Kingdom and its people, yet he had left injured civilians in need back there.

“Your Captain's back there.”  Teris tried.

“Captain Kess ordered me to look after you.”

“Nozel—“

“My Captain's on the scene therefore my orders superseded yours.” Nozel snapped.

In that second of distraction, Nozel didn’t see the whirlwind that knocked his magical eagle off course.  Crouching lower, Nozel widened his stance to keep his balance and fought to right their ride.

Unsteady from the tumbling eagle, there was nothing Teris could to when a lance of condensed air struck her.  The world spiraled at a dizzying speed as she was sent flying off the eagle and through the air. Barely cloaking herself in mana in time, Teris landed on a tiled rooftop and rolled.

101.3.4

Bran was desperate and torn.  He had to help his comrades.  He had to help Teris.  But his Vice Captain had given him clear instructions.  After realizing a communication block was in place, Bran had ordered the Sentries capable of quick magical travel to get out of the communications block and inform Headquarters of the attacks; while commanding the rest of the Sentries to help the citizenry to safety.

Riding with a Sentry atop a large magically created lizard, Bran looked over his shoulder at the battling team of Sentries he had left behind among the sand dunes just outside of Raque.  Guilt weighed heavy on his shoulders.  He had now left not just his friend's and comrades, but two fights.

“If we come across more hostiles, you need to keep on going, sir.  I’ll do my best to distract and hold them off.”  The Sentry told Bran, sweating as he urged his magic to make the green glowing lizard move faster.

Though Bran understood it was because he was the only one who could give Headquarters more information about the attack; the thought of having to leave someone else behind made him feel even more like a failure.

Clutching the communication crystal the Captain of the area Sentries station had given him, Bran tried to think.  This wasn’t like the Wild Fire and battle with Sorcery Lances from a couple months ago.  Bran couldn’t assist his friends by battling these people with a deer. Even if a large sand cat or mid-sized sea fox had been near enough for his magic to seek out and control, it wouldn’t do much good. Not when the fight was in a large town.

Other than insects, Bran couldn’t control multiple creatures.  He needed something more; but he had nothing more.  All he could do was leave his friends and allies to fight, and hope he was able to fetch real help in time.

Yami had been wrong to show any interest and trust in him.  He was weak. Even with all his training and all he had done.  He was useless.

Tears stung Bran’s eyes at his own hated inadequacy.  Some Magic Knight he was, left riding with a Sentry for help.  With all the large fleet footed animals scared off further than his magics reach, he couldn’t even quickly get out of the communications block without assistance. He was undeserving of the promotion he got for his efforts a couple months back during the Wild Fire outbreak.  He didn’t deserve to be a Third Class Intermediate Magic Knight.  He didn’t even deserve to be a Magic Knight.

His grimoire, glowing and hovering beside him, suddenly brightened.  The pages flipped of their own accord.  A blank page came into being, added to the tome.  Writing sparked into existence as a new spell appeared.

101.3.5

Breath knocked out of her, Teris coughed.  Her rolled landing stopped at the feet of a scruffy faced, red haired man.  Sucking in a gulp of air, she squinted up at him.

“Teris Nova.”  The man said.

“If you think I’m Teris Nova you’re in for a disappointment”  Teris said, noting the sword of swirling air he held.

“We’ll sort out which of you is the real one later.  For now surrender and come with me, and I’ll see no one else gets harmed.”

“And who might you be?”  Teris asked.

“Commander Fanzell.”  Fanzell said.

It was then that Teris noticed the diamond on his grimoire.  Chastising herself for not catching it immediately, she said.  “You’re a Magic Warrior.”

“I am.”  Fanzell inclined his head.

Wondering how a team of Magic Warriors had gotten this deep into the Clover Kingdom, Teris said conversationally.  “You’re a long way from home.  Lost?  You know you could’ve simply asked for directions.”

Fanzell’s blue eyes narrowed.  He opened his mouth to tell her to stop wasting time when Teris shot out a beam of light.  The hit knocked Fanzell back to the next roof over.

Teris turned and sprinted in the direction of Nozel.  She had wondered at his delay and now saw why.  The Silver Eagle was still flying threw the air, only he was fighting a man on a cloud of smoke.  Teris lept to the next buildings roof.  As soon as she landed she was sent flying by a condensed burst of air.

Shaking his head clear, Fanzell rode a whirlwind after Teris.  It was a chaotic way to travel, the wind tunnel difficult to control.  As soon as he reached the roof she had landed on he hopped off the mini tornado and let it fade.

Pointing a magically created sword of wind down at her, Fanzell told.  “I have no wish to harm you.”

Teris rolled over with a groan.  Even cloaked in mana the hit had hurt. Fanzell watched her carefully, mindful of where Teris pointed her hands.

Acting as if she was still battling the pain and an unclear head, Teris quickly glanced at his stance.  A large undulating shadow crossed overhead.  It was a massive flock of seagulls, and they were descending.

Teris’ legs swung out just as Yami had taught her.  She cloaked her legs in mana at the last moment, least the cloak alert Fanzell to what she was doing.

As Fanzell fell, Teris jumped to her feet.

Stunned, Fanzell looked up expecting Teris to have made a run for it again. Instead he saw Teris’ fist right before it met his face.  Fanzell heard a crack.  Nose broken, his hands cupped his bloody face.  He cursed the pain and spotted vision, loosing sight of Teris.

Teris backed up as the mass of birds swooped and attacked Fanzell with claw and beak.  Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered at the sight.  The birds were surely being controlled by Bran; but he was only able to control a single, what he called, higher mind creature at a time.  Not having the time to ponder it, Teris hoped this meant Bran was safe and would soon get passed the block to contact Headquarters.

She spun around and looked for Nozel.  She caught sight of him moments before he was knocked off his mercury eagle by the Smoke Mage.  The eagle swooped and struck the side of a manor house in an attempt to catch him.  Nozel, the eagle, and the Smoke Mage disappeared behind a canopy of trees growing on the hillside.

“Nozel!” Teris shouted and cursed when she tried and failed to light travel to him.  Leaving Fanzell to Bran and the attacking seagulls, she took off running and leaping from roof to roof.

101.3.6

Venice glanced to the door where Abril and two Magic Warriors had disappeared, cursing that she and Kess hadn’t been able to hold all of them back.

Kess used her shadow magic to shield Venice from a magical attack.

“Thanks.” Venice called, eyes darting back to the enemy.  She created a mirror that deflected an attack and directed it at one of the Magic Warriors.  “Congratulations, by the way.”

Kess scowled as she sent a shadowy mass of arrows at their attackers. “For what?”

“Your betrothal.”  Venice said.

“I don’t think now's the time for that.”  Kess snapped.

“Well.” Venice shrugged, trapping a Magic Warrior in a mirror, “seeing as we may die.  I didn’t want go to my grave having you think I was upset and not happy for you and Jon.  You are happy about it, right? This isn’t something your parents are forcing you to do?”

“Will you shut up!”  Kess shouted.

101.3.7

Running away from two Magic Warriors, Abril lept off a second floor landing. Her calculated drop was disturbed by two young boys.  She landed on them, the three of them falling to the ground.

Abril got up only to trip and fall when her foot caught on some billowy fabric.

“Ow! How dare you!  Let go!”  A silver haired boy snapped when Abril tried to use him to steady herself.

“Get off!”  Abril barked.  She kicked the billowy, over-sized sleeve that belong to the shirt the red haired boy was wearing.  The fine fabric tore as she ripped her trapped foot free.

“Will you—Teris?”

Abril blinked.  Precious seconds wasted as she stared at the red haired boy before remembering the form she wore.  “Yes?”  She said, uncertainly.

“It is I.  Kirsch.”  The red haired boy placed a manicured hand gently to his chest.

Moment broken, Abril shook off the torn piece of silk.  “Good for you. Now get off.”

“There she is!”  One of Abril’s pursuers pointed down at her.

Abril’s head darted up.  She rolled to her knees and pushed to her feet. “Nice to see you, Kirsch.  Bye.”

Only she didn’t get very far.  Feet tripping over the other boys legs, Abril fell again.  Looking up at boy, she recognized a familiar familial stare of cold blue eyes and distinctive silver hair.

“Silva.” Abril growled.

“You’re not Teris.”  Solid accused.

The echoing sound of footfalls descending the stairs rang loud in her ears.  Abril planted a hand on the silver haired boys shoulder and pushed to her feet.  “Don’t tell them that.  Stay outta their way and get somewhere safe.  Nozel’s orders.”

Solid blinked at the fake Teris who took off at a run.

Kirsch looked after her and declared.  “How utterly unbeautiful!”

Neither young man noticed one of the Magic Warriors break off from the others and stalk toward them.

101.3.8

Teris slid between Nozel and Lotus.  Nozel barely created a shield of mercury before a spatial attack hit, taking a large swath of mercury.

Lotus balked at the attack and turned.  Seeing Galleo, he put his hands on his hips.  “The order was to take her into custody.  Not wipe her from existence.”

“She’s still alive.  Isn’t she?”  Galleo said.

Lotus looked down at Teris.  “Sorry about that.  Care to surrender?”

Teris kicked out trying to trip the Smoke Mage the same way she had done with Fanzell.  Ready for either a physical or magical attack, Lotus saw the strike coming and hopped over her swinging leg.

“Figured that burly mate of yours would've taught you some--”  Lotus’ voice cut out.  He stumbled, Teris having kicked his left knee, hyper-extending it.

Nozel pulled Teris to her feet.  His knees trembled under his own weight, much of his mana having been drained during his fight with Lotus.

“You alright?”  Teris panted.

“Fine. You?”  Nozel asked.

“Not dead yet.”  Teris answered.

“Not funny.”  Nozel grumbled.  “That one has smoke magic.”

“Mine can spatial attack.”  Teris said.

“I noticed.”  Nozel replied.

“Care to switch?”  Teris asked, figuring Nozel could block a few strikes till help came, or his mana recovered enough for him to do something other than defense.  In any case he wasn’t going to last much longer if he continued fighting the Smoke Mage.  “Or, I could take them both on--”

“No.” Nozel said, sounding as fatigued as he felt.  Though he didn’t like the idea of not finishing a fight he started, Teris, though out of breath, seemed far from tired.  If anything she seemed excited by the challenge; that had to be Yami’s and the Black Bulls influence he though in disgust.  It was the fact that he had already lost so much mana in his fight with the Smoke Mage that decided it for Nozel. “I got the Spatial Mage.  Just—don’t get too close to the Smoke Mage.  He’ll siphon off your mana.”

Lotus smiled at Teris as Nozel stepped to the one called Galleo.

“I was beginning to wonder if I would ever meet the other half of the famous duo.”  Lotus said.  “Not much about work gets me excited. It’s more of a necessary hassle in order to keep the family housed and fed.  But when the order came for this…  I must admit to having some interest.”

“You’re the one Yami faced during the Battle at the Border.”  Teris surmised.  She wished Yami was here, and that they could still feed off each others mana the way they had back then.  “He said you talked too much.  Is that the only play you have?  Disarm and delay with mindless chatter till your magic renders your opponent useless?”

Lotus shrugged lazily.  “It’s worked for me thus far.  Why change what isn’t broken?”

Teris released bit of her mana, magically heating up the air around her to the point that it burned off Lotus’ smoke.  The man’s smoke had been so sparse and thin that she hadn’t been able to see it.  But she sensed it as her mana made contact with it and it burned it away.

His siphoning smoke burned off, Lotus gave a weak smile his brow beading with sweat at the heat radiating from Teris’ magic.  “My wife is pregnant with our second child.”  He told.

“I’ll see you have a quill and paper so you can write to them from your cell.”  Teris said.

“That would be appreciated.”  Lotus said, readying his attack.

“Stand down or these two die.”  Came a proud booming voice.

Teris turned, eyes widening.

“Solid!” Nozel blinked.  His magical shield lowered, spears of mercury dissolving.

Still wearing Teris’ form, Abril struggled against magical bindings. “You leave Kirsch and my Intended’s brother alone!”

“That’s not the real one.”  Galleo told his comrades.

The one holding Abril shoved her to the ground in disappointed disgust.

Fanzell dropped onto the scene, the whirlwind that brought him dissipating. Knowing the one he faced had been the real Teris by the light magic she had used, Fanzell ignored the bound woman his subordinate had pushed away, and took in the two other hostages.  He didn’t like that innocent children had been brought into the mix and threatened. But now that it was done he had little choice other than to use it.

Ignoring the stinging cuts and gashes the flock of attacking birds had left, Fanzell gave the Spatial Mage a directive look through eyes made red and swollen from his broken nose.  “Galleo.”

The man opened up a portal.

Fanzell turned to the real Teris.  “Step through and I promise these two will be left unharmed.”

“Your promise means nothing to me.”  Teris sneered.

“Brother!” Solid called, frantic eyes full of fear.

“It’s alright.  Stay calm and quiet.”  Nozel soothed.  He looked at Teris.  There was no way he was going to ask her to submit to the Magic Warriors commands; but these people had his younger brother and were threatening his life.

Teris glanced at Kirsch and Solid.  Even if Kirsch wasn’t an extremely distant cousin or Solid Nozel’s brother, she would have submitted to protect them.  She was a Magic Knight.  The lives and well being of the Clover Kingdoms citizenry went before her own.

The tension in Fanzell’s shoulders eased when he saw Teris’ shoulders sag in defeat.

“Fine. But you and the rest of your squad of Magic Warriors have to leave the Clover Kingdom without harming another person.”  Teris relented.

“No! I’m Teris Nova.”  Abril shouted.

“Enough.” Teris ordered.

Abril fell silent, wide eyes stinging with tears at her worry and failure.

Teris turned to Fanzell.

“You have my word.”   Fanzell swore.

Teris sighed.  She didn’t know what the Commander’s word was good for; but it was all she had.  Giving one last look at Abril, she ordered. “Don’t struggle or fight unless they break their promise.”

“Step through the portal.”  Fanzell told Teris, eager to see his mission complete and his squad safely out of the Clover Kingdom.

Teris moved as slowly as she dared, hoping that someone had gotten through the communications block and assistance would appear.

The mage holding Solid by the throat squeezed causing the young royal to gurgle.

“Solid!” Nozel took a step toward his brother.

Fanzell made a noise of warning halting Nozel in his tracks.  He scowled at his fellow Magic Warrior for choking the young innocent but turned the expression on Teris and instructed.  “Hurry it up.”

Nozel glanced at the open portal and Teris, gauging the distance.  Turning back to his brother, he told.  “It’ll be alright, Solid.  Just stay put.  Don’t do anything.  Listen to Abril until they leave and help arrives.”

Finding Nozel’s words curious, Fanzell turned to him.  But he was too slow. Teris had just stepped through the portal and Galleo had begun to close it.  Fanzell’s muscles tensed as the Silver Eagle rushed toward him.  But the Magic Knight had no interest in him.  Instead, Nozel sprinted passed him and dived through the closing portal.

Fanzell blinked at the portion of the mans royal blue cloak that laid on the ground where the portal had been.  If Nozel had acted a split second latter he would have been cut in half.

“Brother!” Solid yelled, hand outstretched.

“Damn it!  I’m sorry, Commander.  Shall I open it back up and pull him out?”  Galleo asked Fanzell.

Jaw tense, Fanzell tore his eyes away from the blue fabric.  So much for a seamless mission.  Not wanting to stay longer than necessary and chance facing further hostility, he told Galleo.  “No.  Inform the other teams we have our prey and get us out of here.”

“Sir.” Galleo nodded.

Fanzell looked back at the sliced off strip of fabric thinking that the Magic Knights were a loyal and amazing group.  It made him wistfully envious.  He doubted there was a single Magic Warrior that would take such a risk for one of their fellows.

“The teams are falling back and headed to the meeting point.”  Galleo informed his superior.

“Good.” Fanzell bent and picked up the blue fabric, wrapping it around his hand.

“What of these three?”  The Mage holding Solid and Kirsch asked.

“Bind the boys.  We’ll leave them and the Magic Knight to be found.” Fanzell said.

The Mage gripped Solid and Kirsch tighter.  “But, Sir--”

Voice dangerous, Fanzell looked at the man.  “I gave my word.  You’re not suggesting I go back on it out of sheer malice, are you?”

The Mage straightened.  “No, sir.”  He shared a look with Galleo the two thinking that the rumors were true.  Their Commander had begun to weaken.

Fanzell stepped in front of Abril.  “I need you to listen and relay a message to your superiors.”

“You give her back!”  Abril yelled.

Fanzell used his magic to take just enough air out of Abril’s lungs so she couldn’t speak but was still cognizant.  “Tell your superiors not to come for Teris Nova unless they want another war.  You will have your Magic Knight—s,”  He drew out the added ‘s’ of the amended plural, “back by the morning of the twelfth.  If you cross the border into our kingdom, King Morris will not broker a peace as he did last time.  He will not stop until your kingdom is purged of life and left in nothing but rubble and ash.”  He saw the fearful turn in the her eyes, and felt the same at such a prospect. “Remember.  The morning of the twelfth.  My King just wants some time with Teris Nova to understand how she works.  It is up to your kingdom to decide whether that is worthy of war or if you will keep the peace and wait four days.”

101.4

“Are you really that tired, Yami?” Jack taunted sending out a slash that sent the Black Bulls Vice Captain skidding backwards several meters.

“Hardly.” Yami grunted.

“He’s toying with you, Jack.”  Tobin called, from the sidelines.

“More like letting you get a couple shots in as apology for the beat down you’re gonna get.”  Yami corrected.

“Quit pretending your doing me any favors Bull Brains.”  Jack cawed sending out two more strikes.  “You’re faltering and trying to cover.”

“If I were faltering would I be able to do this?”  Both hands gripping the hilt of his katana, Yami sent down a slash of darkness that had the Green Mantis leaping out of the way.

Rolling on the ground, Jack squinted at the kicked up dirt.  He looked back to see downed trees and branches for more than six hundred meters.

Tobin stepped forward, worried Yami had lost himself to the Darkness.

Gendry’s head jerked back, eyes wide.  Was that what he would be facing every other Monday?  He knew Yami was powerful, but to send an attack like that during a simple sparring session…

Yami half lept, half rushed to his opponent and pointed his dark cloaked katana at Jack’s chest.  “You were saying?”

Jack looked up at the Black Bull and cackled.  “You’re insane!”

Yami lifted and sheathed the katana in its scabbard.  “Thought your bony butt would appreciate that move.”

Jack pushed to his feet.  “Let’s try it again!”

“No.” Yami shook his head.

Jack lifted his forearm, the magical scythe-like blade pointing at Yami’s neck.  “Try it again or I slice you up.”

“You’re both insane!”  Tobin declared, making his way onto the field. “Jack.  Stand down.”

Sounding bored despite the magical weapon at his throat, Yami waved Tobin off. “Let him be.  Beanstalk’s just embarrassed he lost.”  He met Jack’s eye, all but daring the man to make a move and prove him wrong.

Jack cackled again and lowered his arm.  “You act all tough, but one day I’ll slice you up, Yami.  Only I want you to be at your best when I do.”

Yami made a derisive noise.  “Yeah, yeah.  Keep saying that—Jack.” Yami’s tone changed as he said the name.  His right hand reached, gripping the hilt of his katana.  “Don’t stand down.”

Jack’s eyes turned to Yami’s right hand, thinking the Black Bull decided to continue the fight.  “What?  You--”

Yami pulled the katana free.  “A large group just appeared.”

“It’s probably some fellow Green Mantis’.  En and Nix are expected back from a mission.”  Jack said.

“No.” Yami said.

The Ki Yami suddenly sensed was far too near.  These people hadn’t walked or flown closer; but simply appeared as if portaled.  Never mind the fact that one of the mana sources coming from the group was massively powerful.  There was no way the person was a member of the Green Mantis, not even the squads Captain.

“It’s Alowishus.”  Yami cloaked his blade in darkness.

Alowishus Spade rose up out of the ground.  Yami sent out several consecutive slashes which were blocked by a swirling mass of earth.

“Quick on the attack.”  Alowishus praised, noting how fast Yami’s movements had become.  “Not exactly the act of a hero though.”

“I’m no hero.  I’m a Magic Knight Vice Captain and you’re a threat to this kingdom.  Jack, with me.  You two.  Give the others a harsh welcome.”  Yami told Tobin and Gendry.

“The others?”  Tobin echoed.  His face hardened at the sight of five others appearing through the overgrown tree line.  “Right.”  His size doubled as he stepped in the Agents of Chaos’ direction. “Gendry.  Let’s go.”

“They want Yami.  We should focus on getting him out of here.”  Gendry said, glancing at his Vice Captain as Yami and Jack charged and attacked Alowishus.

“And how do you suggest we do that without taking out some of their number?”  Tobin snapped.  “Don’t question the Vice Captain's orders!  He’s not Bronn.  Yami will do more than have words or a well placed fist if you disobey.”

Yami and Jack tag teamed.  One getting in close while the other made an opening.  Still it wasn’t enough.  Alowishus was just too strong. Yami shot a quick glance seeing Tobin and Gendry struggling and cursed.  He should have known better than to think the four of them had a chance.  The Negation Mage, Calen, was nowhere in sight meaning that Alowishus was secure in his victory and merely toying with them. That only served to make Yami angrier, his grip tightening on his katana’s hilt.  Exhaling, Yami forced his hands to loosen letting the rage filled emotion flow through him.  Acknowledging his anger while not focusing on it cleared his mind and centered his thoughts, emboldening his movements with decisive determination.

“Your getting your way, Jack!”  Yami lept back, trading places with the Green Mantis.  He planted his feet, gripping the katana’s hilt in both hands and raising it over his head.  “Let’s try it again!” He repeated Jack’s earlier words right before he brought the dark cloaked blade down.

Jack, who had been in front of Alowishus, between him and Yami, lept to the side at the last moment.  Despite being cloaked in mana the Green Mantis was dragged back a bit by the gravitational pull of the dark slash.  Then blown out and away as Yami’s attack hit.  Jack tucked his arms and tumbled, rolling up to his knees and skidding to a halt.

Seeing the devastation and power of the attack, Jack silently cursed; Yami must’ve just been funning with him in that first dark slash.  Wait for me, you over muscled idiot, Jack thought.  Don’t leave me in your shadow.  I’ll rip you to shreds if you do.

“Master!” The Agents of Chaos yelled.

Yami didn’t even pause to take in the damage he might have caused Alowishus.  He spun around to Tobin and Gendry, and commanded. “Tobin, go get back up.  Gendry, to me.”

Tobin turned and sprinted away before Yami had even begun to say Gendry's name.

“Oh, no you don’t.”  Misandre roared.  She created a portal, hands reaching through the open gateway.

Tobin didn’t slow, trusting his comrades to protect his back.

Snarling, Yami sent out a slice of darkness that cut Misandre’s hands off so fast and clean it took the woman  several heartbeats to realize what had happened.  The hands, once belonging to Bronn, dropped to the ground, never reaching Tobin.

Glaring at the Spatial Mage, Yami growled.  “Told you I would have those off you.  Now, I can be done with that bastard and he can rest in peace.”

“Yami...” Gendry breathed, face losing color.

Yami turned in the direction Gendry was staring, his own eyes widening. Now that just wasn’t fair, Yami silently complained.

Jack moved closer to the two Black Bulls.  “What is he?  An earth mage or something.”

Or something, Yami thought watching the earth swirl and condense to form an arm, replacing the one Yami’s massive dark strike had taken from Alowishus.

“Ash to ash.  Dirt to dirt.”  Alowishus intoned, stepping out of the spiraling earth as it dissipated and fell.  “The moral form is nothing but earth, and to the earth our weary husks eventually return.”

The solid ground the three Magic Knights were standing on became sinkhole.  Before they could do anything, they were trapped up to their mid-thighs and stuck.

“You have your late Vice Captain's hands back, Yami.  Now further prove your honor and come with me so your friends may be spared.” Alowishus stopped several paces in front of him.  “You need my help, my boy.  You won’t make it to the Ritual of Darkness without it.”

“I’m not your anything.”  Yami sneered.  He sent out three quick, successive dark cloaked strikes.

Alowishus held up a hand.  The dark slashes stopped and hovered.  Frozen still for a moment before they broke apart crumbling and fading to nothing.

Alowishus shook his head and sighed.  “Difficult child.  Come with me or your friends die.”

“Why not just take me by force?  You’ve done it before.  Could it be you’re afraid to awaken what’s inside me?”  Yami asked, feeling the Dark force begin to stir.

“You may not be the cleverest, Yami.  But you are a smart one.  Do you truly think I fear you?”  Alowishus asked, well aware Tobin had almost reached the Green Mantis’ base.

“Probably not, but you should.”  Yami said.

“Master.” Clint called.  “Misandre is losing a lot of blood despite Slade’s bindings.  If she’s to be able to get us out of here, we must leave.”

“Then leave.”  Alowishus snapped.

“Master! We can’t leave you!”  Clint expressed, face full of concern.

“Return to Sanctuary and await my arrival as you were told.  I will tend to Misandre after my return.  Till then she will simply have to endure.” Alowishus looked at his followers.  “Now.”

Reluctantly, Misandre opened a portal.  The gateway took a couple seconds to form and was slow to expand large enough for a person to fit through.

Yami couldn’t help a perverse smirk of achievement at seeing the Spatial Mages difficulty in creating something that should have been as easy as taking a step or any other function that occurred by mere will.

“You enjoyed that.”  Alowishus commented, watching Yami.  “My followers hardship.”

Yami eyes snapped back to Alowishus.  “With the amount of hardship she and the rest of you have put us through, it’s about time you got some in return.  I’m not going with you, by the way.  So you can crumble to dust and die.”

Alowishus frowned.  “Why must you make things so difficult, my boy?”

“I already told you.  I’m not your anythi—oui!”  Yami snapped, Jack and Gendry's muffled gags stealing his attention.

Dirt gathered and rose up from the ground, entering Jack and Gendry's mouths and nostrils.  The two coughed and gagged.  But it was no use, the invading earth was choking the life out of them.

“Stop it!”  Yami barked.  He tried to pull his legs free but the ground held firm.  He swiped at the swirling mass as it entered Jack, but the mass only reformed and continued to obey Alowishus’ will.

“Can’t you see that I am only trying to help you?”  Alowishus asked, tone wounded and sympathetic.  “If you go on like this, you will lose yourself to the Darkness inside.”

Yami glared murderously at Alowishus.  “Isn’t that what you want?”

“Eventually.” Alowishus admitted.  “Right now, we both want the same thing.  For you to fight this force off and remain yourself.”

Yami’s eyes flicked black.  Gritting his teeth he battle down the Darkness about to boil over.  “Let them go.”

“Will you come?”  Alowishus asked.

Yami saw Gendry's eyes roll and begin to glaze.  “Fine!”  He yelled. “You have my word.  Now let them go!”

With a victorious grin, Alowishus lifted his hand, palm up.  His fingers curled one after the other in a beckoning motion.

Yami watched the earth change its course and fly out of his friends lungs. Jack and Gendry sagged, gasping and coughing.

“Let’s go.”  Alowishus smiled.

Before Yami could say or do anything, he was swallowed up by the ground.

101.5

In the quietness after Nozel and Teris’ argument the Silver Eagle had difficulty meeting Teris’ hard, angry glare.

Once they had figured out they had been portaled to a mana blocked cell with no means of escape, Teris had chewed Nozel out.  In her fear for Nozel, Teris had called out his stupidity in following her through a closing portal.  Her concern for her friends, and worry over Fanzell keeping his word had her chastising Nozel for his lack of care in his duty to protect the citizens of the kingdom.

Nozel naturally snapped back.  No one questioned his dedication to his duty.  His brooding emotions over what he had walked in on three days ago, the image of Yami and Teris still haunting his mind, had Nozel responding harsher than intended.

Surprised by his vehemence but not one to back down, Teris had snapped back at him.  A heated argument had devolved from there.  When Nozel called out her hypocrisy, saying she would’ve done the same in his place, Teris had changed tactics.

Teris had been glaring daggers at him for what felt like forever, though realistically Nozel knew it couldn’t have been more than a couple minutes.  Much as Nozel hated being scolded like some child, Teris’ silent treatment was so much worse; leading him to ask.  “What would you have had me do?  Let you to come here alone?”

“Yes! That’s exactly what I would have had you do!”  Teris expressed. Her eyes drifted to the missing part of Nozel’s squad cloak for the thousandth time, her fear and anger at his foolishness reigniting.

“It’s always the same with you, isn’t it?”  Nozel complained.

“What’s that suppose to mean?”  Teris questioned, heatedly.

“You’re always judging me more harshly than anyone else.  As if I’m suppose to be some perfect person.”

“You’re the one who constantly presents yourself as a perfect person.” Teris accused.

Nozel sighed, this was getting them nowhere.  He looked about the cell, unable to look at Teris any longer.  “So what do we do now?”

“Why ask me?  What was it you said?  Your Captain's on the scene therefore your orders superseded mine.”

Nozel glowered and muttered under his breath.  “Ill tempered, hot headed brat.”

“What’s that?”  Teris asked, not having heard.

“I said you’re an ill tempered, hot headed brat!”  Nozel snapped.

“If that’s how you feel then why did you follow?”  Fanzell questioned, from the other side of the cell door.

Teris and Nozel turned to the Magic Warrior, neither having noticed his appearance in the heat of their argument.

“It sure would have saved us some trouble if you had stayed behind.” Fanzell went on, thinking of the discipline he would endure for letting the Silva Prince throw himself into custody; as if he had known at the time that the young man was heir to the Clover Kingdoms second royal House.

“If you’re looking for an apology for your troubles look elsewhere. You’re not getting one from us.”  Teris told.

“Figured as much.  Ill tempered, hot headed brat that you are.”  Fanzell teased.

“Only he gets to call me that.”  Teris said, head tilting toward Nozel.

“Who? Your Prince?”  Seeing the Magic Knights expressions, Fanzell nodded.  “Yeah.  I know who you are...  I do now.”  He mumbled.

“Then you know they will come for me.”  Nozel said.

“For both our kingdoms sake's, I hope not.  I hope those two kids and the Magic Knight that was trying to pass as you,” Fanzell inclined his head toward Teris, “relayed the message I gave, and your superiors believe and heed and my words.”

“What words were those?”  Teris asked.

“That you will be released and returned on the twelfth.”  Fanzell answered.

“You lie.”  Nozel challenged.

Fanzell’s eyes hardened.  “My King, unlike yours, doesn’t posture and lie.”

Teris wanted to ask about Yami but was afraid to.  As if bringing him up would remind their captors of his existence and endanger him.  She couldn’t sense Yami’s mana and hoped it was an effect of the spell put on the mana blocked cell.

“What is it you want?”  Teris asked.

“That I don’t know.”  Fanzell said, thinking he didn’t want to know either.

There were things going on in the Diamond Kingdom.  Rumors.  Whispers like the barest of breaths and breezes.  Things that hinted at augmented magic and mutilated grimoires.  Of groups of kids taken from the training grounds and never seen or heard of again.  To all this Fanzell turned a blind eye and deaf ear, not wanting to know even a hint of what might be going on.  His soul was tormented enough as it was.

“It doesn’t matter what threats you gave.  They will come.”  Nozel said.

“That’s what King Morris believes as well.”  Another voice said from down the hall.

Fanzell stepped back from the cell door and turned.  “Lotus.  What is this?”

“Sorry, Commander.”  Lotus apologized, expression truly sorrowful. “We’ve been told that His Majesty has decided to send the Prince back.”

Fanzell looked from Lotus to Galleo who walked behind the Smoke Mage.  “Why wasn’t I informed of this?”

“Why indeed?”  Galleo responded with a disapproving stare of accusation at Fanzell.

Fanzell swallowed, throat bobbing. There was only one reason why his superiors would skip informing him when he had just come from their offices.  The open display of lack in faith was chilling.

Fanzell cleared his throat.  “If you have orders, I suggest you carry them out.”

“I’m not leaving her.”  Nozel told, voice commanding in its volume and timber.

“You don’t have a choice, little Prince.”  Galleo smirked, clearly enjoying carrying out his commands.

“Morris doesn’t want a war.  He merely wants the girl.”  Lotus said.

It was difficult for Fanzell to tell, but it appeared as though Lotus didn’t care for this any more than he did.  Then again it could simply be Lotus’ usual tired lack of interest in anything.  It was hard to say.

“You can’t have her.”  Nozel told, positioning himself in front of Teris.

Fanzell noticed the way Teris merely stood by, appearing to have already accepted her fate.

“We already do have her.”  Galleo taunted.  “It’s you we no longer want.  Didn’t and shouldn’t have had you in the first place.” Though it had been his portal the young royal had jumped through, he cast an accusatory glance at Fanzell.

“Morris has been told that with just one of you taken, your King Agustus and Wizard King will wait until the twelfth to act, in hopes of staving off a war.” Lotus said.

“Told by who?”  Nozel questioned.

“Especially if we give back the heir to House Silva.”  Galleo put in.

“I want to know who told King Morris that.”  Nozel demanded.

“You will be portaled back to the gates of your Castle City.  Unharmed.” Lotus said, turning to Galleo at the final word as if to remind the man.

Seeing Lotus step near the cell door, Nozel readied his stance.  “Good luck with that.  The moment you open that door the mana block on this cell breaks and your--”

Teris placed a hand on Nozel’s shoulder causing him to fall silent.  He glanced back at her.

At her sad expression, Nozel questioned.  “Why are you looking at me like that?  We’re getting out of here.  Just don’t kill or knock out the Spatial Mage.  We need him to get us home.”

Teris hugged him, tightly.

Nozel was so shocked that he remained still and speechless.

“Tell Yami, Julius, and the Bulls not to do anything stupid.”  Teris breathed against his ear.

Nozel felt her give a humorless smile.

“At least not until they’ve clearly broken their word about returning me.”  Teris pulled away and meet his eyes.  “Then, if you want, you can do all the stupid things you wish to get me out of here.”

Nozel stared at her in confusion.  “Teris.  I’m not leaving yo--”

“It’s not your fault.”  Teris said over his words.  “You did all you could.  Going so far as to jump through a closing portal.  Stupid as it was.  Thank you.”

“Teris. It’s not over--”

Teris placed her fingers to Nozel’s lips, silencing him.  “I don’t want to be the cause of a war.  If you stay and get injured or killed while we’re trying to break free, there will be one.  House Silva’s pride will demand it.” Nozel gripped her wrist, tearing her tender fingers from his lips.  “I’m not doing this with you right now!  Get ready to fight!  That’s an order.”

He turned around to face the three Magic Warriors.  It was then that he remembered a magic blocked cell didn’t necessarily block outside magic from entering.

Teris stepped back.

Nozel’s head snapped back around to her, hand outstretched.  “Teris!”

Nozel disappeared, swallowed by Galleo’s portal. Teris’ eyes squeezed shut, willing herself not to cry.  Her trembling lips pressed together.  As fearfully angry as she had been at Nozel for his thoughtless action in following her; she had been selfishly grateful not to be alone.

“You’re a brave one.”  Lotus remarked.  “I wonder how I might’ve fared at the Battle at the Boarder if faced against you and not your counterpart.”

Thinking she was anything but brave, Teris asked.  “You’re not after him. Are you?”

“Yami?” Lotus questioned.  “Our only orders were to capture you, little miss.  Now, if you don’t mind.”  He dangled a spelled cuff that blocked magical transport.  “Put your hand through the bars.”

I’ll be recovering from my monthly infusion of “poison juice” this week, so if you wanna make a blah week brighter and bring a smile to my face I’d appreciate some feedback.  Thanks!

Thank you to those who have left hearts.  And a special THANK YOU to those who have recently commented or re-blogged. It really means a lot.  Also, I’ll be taking a week off.

Next chapter snippet:

Tears prickled Teris’ eyes. Her entire body felt as if it were engulfed in Wild Fire.  The palm of her hand so hot and seared that it was incapable of feeling anything.  Anything other than constant dull burning pain with the occasional sharp, gut wrenching stab that kept her mind from being able to tune it out.

[tvmblrdothailey]

Bnha x trans woman reader

A/N: I decided to write an x reader where the reader is a trans woman. To any trans woman reading this I just want you to know thAT I FŪCKING LOVE YOU💙💖🤍💖💙🥰😘🥰😘🥰😘 YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I WILL LITERALLY FIGHT ANYONE WHO HURTS YOU.

Warning: Cursing, Transphobia, mentions of Sex Reassignment Surgery, Gender Dysphoria. Karen

(Y/N): Your name

(D/N): Your dead name

Summary: It took a while for your parents to accept you for who you are, you just hoped your classmates and teachers would accept you as well.

- Before the first day, you had recieved your school uniform, but it turned out to be a mens uniform. To which you had to “politely” ask them to send you the correct uniform.

- Once you made it to class you were immediently introduced to a green haired male who you’d later find out was named Izuku. Then you met Uraraka, Iida, Asui, etc.

- Eveything was going well until your teacher showed up and immediently had you all sent to change into P.E uniforms.

- It wasn’t the uniform that was the problem, it was the fact that none of them knew you were trans and had to share a changing room with other woman. And even though they seemed friendly at first, you still were unsure how’d they react.

- In the past you had to learn the hard way that a smile can really hide someones true colors and that not all people are willing to accept you for who you are and not what you are.

- It’s worth noting that you havent had Sex Reassignment Surgery yet, because you couldnt afford it. (You did take medication though)

- And even though you were generally confident about your Gender, you still had your moments where you started to doubt yourself abd even questioned if you were a real woman (WHICH YOU FRICKING ARE OKAY!!! 😤💙🤍💖)

- Once you were in the womans lockerroom, you tried your best to find a place where you could change without any of them seeing you. So far it was going good until Uraraka came looking for you. She blushed and in a panic you told her you were a trans woman.

- You froze for a few seconds before hearing Uraraka’s voice “Oh...okay, well just so you know, I think you’re a very beautiful woman!” My god you had to hold back from giving Uraraka a hug right then and there.

- Later down the line you had come out to the rest of the girls as a Trans woman, to which they all responded with hugs and affection.

- “We don’t care if you’re trans, you’re still the same (Y/N) we know and love.” -Hagakure

- “It doesnt matter whats in your pants, if you identify as a woman, then you’re a woman.” - Jirou

- “I am literally pink, and you think I’d judge you because of your gender? Hell nah, get over here and let me love you!” - Mina

- “If anyone tells you otherwise you come to me and I will have a “friendly” chat with them.” -Momo

- “Ribbit, You’ll always be our friend (Y/N), no matter what.” -Tsu

- They would die for you

- With the help of the other girls, you eventually came out to Aizawa, and he promised that you would be treated the same just as any other student. And if anyone gives you any problems you bring it to him for him to deal with. (Protective dad tm)

- Eventually the entire class knew and you felt the biggest weight fall of your shoulders.

- “It does’nt matter, you’re still (L/N) (Y/N). And we all care about you. 💚” -Izuku

- “I don’t give a damn about your gender! So stop it with that self-concious shit.” -Bakugo. Although his words may seem harsh, he really cares about you and is willing to blow up any wall, building or mountain to chase away any Dysphoria you may have.

- You had to exaplain it a couple of times for Todoroki since he was never educated about that kind of stuff, but once he got it he immediently replied “I didn’t know people could do that. Thank you for telling me, and I’ll do everything I can to support you.” 🤍❤️

- Of cource there were going to be some students who felt the need to belittle you...

- One time in the Caffiteria, Monoma had walked up to your table and desided that today would be the day he would be the biggest dick in the world

- “It’s shocking how people say Class 1A is one of the hardest courses to get into, yet they let someone like you in.” He said

- You looked at him “Excuse me?”

- “I’m just saying when you think about it scientifically, you’re still a man no m- “ Monoma didn’t get to finish his sentence before Kendo slapped him, knocking him out cold.

- “Hey, sorry about him (Y/N). I knew he was low but I didn’t think he was that low.” She then smiled at you “Don’t listen to him, he’s just desperate to finding ways to make his class seem better because of some imaginary rivalry that’s only exist in his head. Anyway, I need to take him to Recovery girl to get his brains checked, but I’ll see you later!”

- Kendo was the best, and she made sure that Monoma got a stern lecture from Vlad later that day.

- Then there was the Mall incident, when the class was going on a trip to the mall to buy supplies for Summer training camp, but then you ran into an Ex friend.

- Emphasis on the word EX

- “(D/N)?” They said. To which you froze, you recgonized that voice anywhere and you could already tell that this conversation wasn’t going to be friendly.

- You slowly turned around “Hey Karen...” She didnt look that diffrent, fake nails, fake jewlery, fake personality...what?

- “Why are you dressed like a woman?” She said.

- You groaned before responding “Because I am a woman, Karen.” You tried to walk away from her in order to avoid confrontation, the last thing you needed were hundreds of eyes on you. You made a note to yourself to come back tommorow when you would’nt have to deal with her. But you’re taken out of your thoughts as you feel someone grab your shoulder and spin you around.

- “Do you think it’s funny? To make fun of mental illness?” She said.

- There was a point in time when Karens words didnt offend you anymore, they just frustrated you because of how dumb and ignorant she sounded.

- “Karen, I have told you multiple times that I am a woman, I am not mentally ill, I am human. I get that it might be confusing for you but it’s not for me. I am happy the way I am okay?”

- “You’re the one that’s confused. You think you’re a girl but you’re a boy no matter what? That’s just how the human body works.” She shot back. At this point multiple eyes were already on you two. Some looked uncomftorable, others look confused and then there were a few that looked disgusted. Just a few people had the power to send Dysphoria crawling back into your mind.

- You started to hear fast footsteps before hearing “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YOU BOOTLEG BARBIE BITCH?!”

- Oh hey bakugo (we’re gonna pretend him, Kiri and Shoto came along aight)

- “Bakugo, It is unacceptable to call a woman by such a deragatory term! Even though she was being rude to (Y/N) there are better ways to-“ Iida was cut off by Bakugo

- “SHUT THE HELL UP FOUR EYES!” Kiri then had to hold bakugo back while Todoroki and Uraraka steped in between you and Karen.

- “Don’t ever talk to our friend like that, she is more of a woman than you’ll ever be. I’d suggest that you walk away right now, our friend can only hold back Bakugo for so long.” Todoroki said

- Uraraka helped calm your nerves and whispered to you “Don’t listen to her, she’s just jealous because you can wear a dress better than her.”

- AIGHT, now the training camp.

- During the training camp, Tiger had not only helped you get stronger, but also helped scare away any Gender Dysphoria that remained inside your head.

- “Don’t ever let peoples harsh words get to you! You are doing this for yourself and that’s what matters!” He said

- When it was time to take a bath, you didn’t hesitate to get into the hot springs. The encouraging words Tiger gave you along with the constant support of your friends had made you feel safe and happy. You could’nt ask for better friends.

Bonus:

* IF YOU DO NOT PLAN ON HAVING SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY THEN YOU CAN IGNORE THIS PART

- One moment that stuck out was when momo dropped the question “Hey (Y/N), you dont have to awnser this but I was wondering, why have’nt you gone through Sex Reassignment Surgery? Are you not comftorble with it or...?”

- “Oh, I just dont have the money for it.” You responded

-Way way later on.

- your birthday was finally around the corner

- On the big day you woke up to your friends Uraraka and Midoriya at your door and they dragged you to the main room where the rest of the class along with Mr. Aizawa were.

- You noticed a large envelope on the coffe table and they looked at you before Hagakure urged you to open it.

- When you did you found two gifts, one was a shirt

- And the other was a smaller envelope with the words Class 1A written on the back. You opened the envelope and pulled out a card and opened it to which a small keychain fell out that said “trans woman are real woman” and if that wasn’t wholesome enough...

- You looked inside the card but before you could begin reading Aizawa interupted and asked you to read it outloud.

- “Dear (Y/N), words can not describe how wonderful you are, how brave, how strong, or how amazing of a person and classmate you are. We all love you! When you came out to us as a transwoman, we all immediently wanted to make sure you knew you were valid and loved. It’s come to our attention that you haven’t had sex reassignment surgery because you are unable to afford it. So we banded together and decided we would help pay for your surgery-“ you couldn’t finish as you were allready in tears and you looked at Aizawa and the rest of the class to confirm that they were not messing with you.

- “I’ve already talked with your parents all you have to do is set up an appointment and all that fun stuff.” Aizawa said.

- Your tears turned into water falls and your classmates all went to give you hugs and affection. You thanked each of them through your tears of joy and hiccups.

- Definitely a Birthday that would be remembered.

TUMBLR DESITED TO DELETE 65% OF THIS POST THAT I POURED MY HEART AND SOUL INTO 😭

[alittlefrenchtree]

Hiii, it's me again! I actually want to quickly move forward in my reading and not fall behind with notes. Because it makes less sense to write them if I already know what's going on 7 chapters ahead. So let's get started.

SPOILERS DUNE BOOK II : MUAD'DIB (Chapters 5-9)

Chapter 5:

*happy sigh 😌😌😌*

(learn silence, people. It's important.)

You already know how much I love this litany and if there's more in it, I'd be delighted.

Ok, I actually have a nerdy not really funny story about moving dunes. When the worm pops a bit later, Paul describes it at mound-in-motion and there's actually some truth about that. I've recently read an article (and I want to read more about it) about dunes and some scientist thinking that dunes are moving and communicating with each other (in their own mineral, sandy way of course). It sounds fascinating so I let you know if I learn more stuff more or less related to Dune.

This both hurt and feels relatable somehow, even if I don't know how exactly. I like the idea of things approaching from a different angle, of Paul being the only motionless point in a world that keeps spinning around him. The key then wouldn't be to change the world or even to do anything but only to adjust his own position in the universe so he ends up what he meant to be. And the sentence is pretty. The vision appeared to have shifted and approached him from a different angle while he remained motionless.

I still wonder how it works though. The visions and their changes. Do they significantly shift every time he comes close to death? Or say the litany of fear and survive? Or is it more realistic, the smallest details and decisions becoming the biggest changes? I wish Duncan would have been there with them and yet I like this journey through sand and survival just between Paul and Jessica. He probably would have been killed soon after anyway. Unless he's not really dead. Ok, moving on.

Remember when I said that Paul could have/find a way to control sand worms? And now he's saying this:

There are a lot of cues in these few chapters about worms, about riding (or whatever it's called) them with the hooks, about how they're in all likelihood the ones creating the Spice? That's why they're called makers? And that's what the Fremen who died with Hawat was about to called them? I kind of hope there is more to it though, other than only being respected because they're making the spice. There is another quote at the end of the chapter that intrigued me about the relation between Paul and the worms:

He looked at his hand. How inadequate it appeared when measured against such creatures as that worm.

I really like this chapter a lot. Firstly because I love scenes with only two characters so this is delicious for me. Secondly, I love reading about walks through endless lands with nothing but nature, so double yummy. Thirdly, there is a lot of informations. About the worms, and about how Paul is evolving in the desert. There is the rescue of his Mom but, even more importantly, how he rescues the pack. I think it's a very important scene both literally and metaphorically. It doesn't seem like an important scene but it really is in the building of the Paul's character. I hope to see it address in some way in the movie. Because not only he uses the Spice for another purpose than money and getting stronger or smarter or higher, but he uses it to take back what's necessary for his survival in the desert. If that's not adapting to Dune, I don't know what it is.

Chapter 6:

This is going to cause some trouble at some point, isn't it? Halleck and his people teaming up with smugglers, thinking the Atreides are dead. He's going to end up fighting against them without knowing it, right? 😔

Chapter 7:

Moooom, I love him so much 😭😭😭

But, I hate not knowing what's going on exactly and I hate it even more when it's about Paul and Paul's power so we're all going to sit here together, read this again and again util we've rambled enough to come up with AT LEAST five theories about something.

Like why. Why does he cross a time barrier at this precise moment? How does it work? He came close to death again so has he defeated another timeline where he was supposed to die? Hence the unknown territory, the darkness? Or are there defined blindspots? Around the worms maybe? Because of their spice maker job? Or is he just exploring and developing his new abilities? Learning to not rely only on his inner eye but on all of his powers and abilities? I need answers. I need to finish reading this book (books) and reading the theories of someone who's been thinking about every detail of them for the past 50 years.

I really liked this couple of chapters about Paul and Jessica's journey through the desert. You can really see Paul coming to terms with it. Fighting it, using it, accepting it, welcoming it. Seeing its beauty and his future in it. I'm looking forward this symbiosis. It looks beautiful.

Chapitre 8:

Ok, that was painful. Firstly, because I wasn't expecting to see Kynes die at this moment and secondly, because it was a very slow agony to witness. To be honest, I'm getting a bit tired to see characters die? It denies so much of the potential for characters development and for relationships development. The lack of it is going to become a bit sad for the whole story.

And it's heartbreaking to understand that Liet gave up his only chance of survival to save Paul and Jessica. I don't know how much he knew before, if he already knew he was going to die or if he thought he had a real chance but it's going to give so much power to Paul with the Fremen? If it becomes known that Liet died to save him and his mother, believing in them.

I supposed there is some kind of parallel to see here, between the previous chapter and this one, with Paul practically arising from the desert and Liet dying in it at the same time/shortly after? Like how Paul is supposed to take Liet's position of influence with the Fremen?

The chapter is also heavy on... social/political/ecological talks. Or one-sided conversation since the other side is dying. Not saying they shouldn't be there since they are the actual themes of the book but maybe it could have been made in a more natural way? Or not all at once?

But it made me think of Caladan. Which I could have done earlier, I agree. But Caladan is the planet of water, right? Water. The very thing Arrakis is lacking of and wants/needs. I would have like to see a bit more of Caladan, actually. How it was. How Paul was on it, actually. If he was as adapted as Caladan's environment than he seems to be to Arrakis'.

Chapter 9:

There it is. Paul as an outcast Duke finally facing Fremen forces for the first time.

This is a good chapter but I think the key point here is this:

I scrolled past a post the other day (without reading it entirely because of fear of spoilers), that was saying how people thinking Dune was about religion hadn't understand it because it was a story about propaganda. But, at the risk of sounding blasphemous and as a non-religious person... Isn't it kind of the same? Religion, propaganda, fandom,... At some point, there was someone with high powers of influence who comes to make people believe in something (whatever it's true, partially true, partially false or entirely false) to make them adopt a specific behavior, most likely a form of submissiveness? (@ tumblr porn bots, i'm not talking about you). What people make of that belief, it's what really matters.

What interested me more here is to consider this in relation to the opening chapter quote.

It's the eternal question with prophecies. Would a prophecy become true even if nobody knew about it or believe in it? Or do people, by acting according to it because they heard and believed it, make it real and effective? Did the Missionaria Protectiva create its own Kwisatz Haderach or would Paul would have been born with the same abilities and the destiny if they hadn't existed?

We see the future isn't set in stone in Paul's visions, but does his actions and decisions influence the shape of the future or is he just bumped from one predefined timeline to another? And are there really that much differences between the two? How many metaphysical questions can you write in one post?

Quick word about Chani before wrapping this one up. I think I'm going to like her? She seems cool at least. I'm not sure about Paul's reaction to her though. Yes, he supposed to be 15 but he's also something like half of a divinity so. *snorts*. Or maybe I'm just every day more tired of seeing romance being put everywhere and romanticized to the point of 99% people still thinking it's the ultimate form of love and relationship and the ultimate thing to achieve in life. OR maybe it's because everybody engaged in a classic couple-relationship immediately lost 12 points of esteem in my eyes. Don't know. Will see. I imagine I have to brace myself for Paul x Chani babies at some point, since it's 1964? If they survive that long. Very not looking forward to it. The babies, not the survival.

Anyway gotta go before I start wishing bad things to hypothetical fictional babies. Tschüss! 🌔💛

[ryttu3k]

Part 2 of my season 12 reaction posts! Find part 1 (Resolution of the Daleks to Fugitive of the Judoon) here!

Praxeus

Thoughts on Doctor Who - Praxeus!

OKAY FIRST. THANK YOU, SHOW, FOR FIXING A BIG ISSUE I HAD WITH THE FIRST SEASON. So they were doing a thing where they’d introduce incidentally queer characters, have a female character mention her wife, stuff like that, only for them to die. This episode had Jake and Adam, married/separated/it’s complicated couple, who face huge amounts of danger, who both come close to dying, but who survive! And have a Big Damn Kiss! And walk off together holding hands! They survived!!

Plotwise, I enjoyed it a ton while watching, although in retrospect it did feel a bit free of danger. The companions were never in true peril because the Doctor can home in on them automatically, and we never got the true scale of the risk of infection, since the only people we saw get infected were in isolated areas. I would have liked to see, for instance, the threat of Praxeus spreading beyond just the very Hitchcockian birds; all of the peril was on an individual level.

Good message, if unsubtle. Mind you, that’s kind of Doctor Who’s thing, and it pisses off conservatives, so all for it, really XD (They must have loved the core relationship in this episode, too!) Like. Subtle doesn’t work. There are literally climate change deniers that exist. Sometimes you actually do have to tell a message with all the finesse of a sledgehammer because .

(Side note, I was deeply concerned when I saw the cowriter was the guy who did the hot mess that was Kerblam!, so at least this was just an unsubtle and kind of questionably written story instead of an actively harmful one.)

The companions: Ryan seems a fair bit more confident on his own? His initial scenes with Gabriela showed that he’s starting to work well even without backup, and picking up the bird proved to be a damn good call. Yaz and Graham were a fun pair, and Yaz got a lot to do when she and Gabriela (again!) got to explore, and I can definitely understand the conflict between curiosity/doing what’s right and safety when it came to the teleport scene. She does seem to be bordering on the reckless. Intriguing!

Minor plot snag - Graham knows how to set up an IV, presumably because of the shitload of time he spent in hospital! …And yet he doesn’t know what a pathogen is?

Friend note!

“fun fact about graham seemingly not knowing what a pathogen is! in my reading of the scene, i saw it as graham knowing what one was. with "Well, I’m glad you asked that…!” he seems like he’s actually sort of pleased with himself, like he’s about to launch into an explanation, and then IIRC there’s a very brief shot at Ryan giving him a Look and Graham immediately changes tone to “…cause I didn’t want to look stupid.” he immediately changes from boosting his own ego to bolstering ryans and im love"

In which case, good shit gooood shit.

SFX - the infection was creepy as shit. The very obviously puppet bird near the lab was hilariously bad.

Apparently the filming was tricky because it was super windy so all the shorts of Thirteen with her hair Like That weren’t planned, it just kind of happened. Love a fluffy ruffled Thirteen.

So anyway. People calling for more plot focus - literally this is the Doctor trying to distract herself and not focus on the plot! This is her avoidance tactic! Emotional honesty? Who’s she? She’ll get back to it eventually, but for now she needs a distraction after being punched in the emotions. Give her that for one episode, c'mon.

Ryan: “…I do a lot of running.”

Graham: “Whatever is giving off those weird readings… is on the other side of that wall!” Yaz: *silently turns scanner around* Graham, not skipping a beat: “…is on the other side of that door!”

Yaz: “I don’t want you to panic, but… we followed one of those things through a teleport and now I think we’re on an alien planet.” Thirteen: “…well, you don’t do things by halves!”

Thirteen: “That’s why you smell of dead bird! I thought you’d changed your shower gel.”

Thirteen: “I’m having half a thought. Ooh, this one tickles!”

Thirteen: “What can I say? I’m a romantic~”

In conclusion, Doctor Who said gay rights.

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Can You Hear Me?

Thoughts on Doctor Who - Can You Hear Me?

Trigger warning for discussion of depression and suicide.

You know you're in for a wild ride when iView warns for horror themes instead of science fiction themes.

Overall: at first impression, it felt sort of mashed together? There's 14th century Aleppo, and there's 21st century Sheffield, and there's a deep space station, and there's creepy monsters and dream villains; I do kind of wonder why Zellin targeted a random girl in Aleppo as source for his pet monster, although targeting people like Ryan's best friend makes sense if he's deliberately trying to lure the Doctor to him.

The theme, on the other hand, of mental health resiliance and reaching out, was done incredibly well. Oh yeah there'll be more comments about it - the Guardian described it as 'adventures in Wokeness' - but damn, sometimes you need to hear it. I loved getting more of Yaz' backstory, about being a desperate teenage runaway at the point of being suicidal, and her reunion with the older woman legitimately made me tear up.

But like, goddamn. Her nightmare - she's still hearing that. She's still hearing her sister saying that she should "do it right this time" and that this time she won't call and that no one is coming and holy fuck. God this makes so many of Yaz' scenes incredibly painful in retrospect, knowing that she was at that point only three years before and that she's still dreaming that shit! It makes her recklessness terrifying!

Ryan's nightmare, and his experience with Tibo - it's quite reflective of the Doctor, too. She wasn't there, and Gallifrey burnt. And Ryan is realising this now, and really thinking about the potential future in Orphan 55. I think this is absolutely foreshadowing Ryan leaving at the end of the season (there's been a lot of speculation given Tosin's new TV role), and I think Ryan and Yaz' discussion at the end of the episode was a definite hint in the direction of Ryan choosing to going back to Earth.

Would have really liked Graham, during his talk with the Doctor, to gently remind her that she can talk about her own problems, although I can understand the narrative choice on why she didn't (although, yeah, would have been good for Graham to ask). Because, yeah, if anyone needs a sympathetic ear (...sans fingers) or a shoulder to lean on, it's her!! The entire theme of this episode was like... reaching out. Conquering your fears with the help of others. Sharing your fears to lessen them. Getting help. And the Doctor deliberately... not doing that makes it into an actual Thing that I think is going to seriously be addressed by the end of the season.

It's been such an ongoing theme. A bunch of episodes have started with an obviously depressed Doctor. The Fam has tried to raise the issue multiple times and have discussed it amongst themselves even more. Scenes like Yaz' reaction after being abducted in Spyfall (...which makes her, "I thought I was dead" part even more worrying) and being comforted by Ryan, not the Doctor... her whole reaction to Graham being like, "I'm glad you talked to me but I literally can't do the same in return" - if it's not addressed by the end of this season, it's at least going to have to be an ongoing theme, because it's becoming very deliberate now.

An interesting note: the actor who played Zellin (an immortal manipulator of nightmares) also voiced the Remnants (who were the first to mention the Timeless Child in The Ghost Monument). Coincidence or deliberate?

Assorted thoughts:

"I'm still quite socially awkward." There's socially awkward and there's emotionally repressed... (I saw a description of it on Tumblr as 'weaponised dissociation' and... yeah. And also yikes.) Also the way she was so closed in on herself, basically hugging her arms to her body! On a semi-related note, talking to herself in Aleppo was a bit depressing. Like it's continuing the theme of The Doctor Does Not Like Being Alone.

The finger thing - ew ew ew ew it's in their EARS ewww D:

Stylistic comment: the traditionally-styled animation for the Immortals' game was gorgeous.

"Try not freak out, yeah, but you're on a floating space platform trapped in a gravitational pull between two colliding planets."

"Thanks for lending a helping hand!" Companions just being, "...Doctor p l s."

On an old lore note, loved the callback to Eternals, Guardians, and the Toymaker! On a concerning note, man, the Doctor has so many issues with immortals. They abandoned Jack, there was the punishment they gave the Family of Blood, they had those Issues with Ashildr (from what I've read), now this, an eternal punishment with no chance of redemption, perhaps because she knows what immortality does? Parallels with the Doctor as quasi-immortal too, which Zellin even pointed out.

"You're wrong about humans. They're not pathetic. They're magnificent. They live with their fears, doubts, guilt. They face them down everyday and they prevail. That's not weakness. That's strength. That's what humanity is."

(Contrast: "That's what humanity is." The Doctor isn't human. She's not prevailing against her fears, doubts, and guilt.)

In conclusion, literally everyone but the creepy immortals needs a hug.

-

The Haunting of Villa Diodati

Thoughts on Doctor Who - The Haunting Of Villa Diodati!

tfw you think you're just going to get a nice spoopy historical and instead get major plot?

Overall impression: Well, Jack is going to be pretty miffed, given that the Doctor had to do precisely what he didn't want to happen - giving the Lone Cyberman what it wanted. To save Shelley, and also to save the future, although that does bring up the question on if the death of one person can rewrite the future, why doesn't that apply to literally everyone? Fletcher the valet and Elise the nurse died too, do their deaths have the same impact? Either way, the Doctor takes the Cyberium for herself - then realises that the Cybermen are inevitable, and returns it. And now she's trying to go and stop them. So... a bit conflicting in the message there, I think.

Yeah. Bit of a Trolley Problem there.

The characters were really fun. I did enjoy seeing Mary's sense of morbidness, but also her kindness and sympathy towards the Cyberman; you can see the foundations of Frankenstein there. I'm seeing some criticism of how Byron was portrayed as a coward, but eh. Nice little callback to Ada. Also I love how one of the rules was 'no one snog Byron'. Put that dirty boy back, you don't know where he's been! Glad Claire realised that too, although historically, she was already pregnant with his daughter at that point (and that didn't go well at all)... Either way. Good display of all these bright young reckless things.

(And yes, they were young. Byron was the eldest at 28. Shelley was 23, Polidori was 20, Mary and Claire were just 18. And while Claire lived to 80 and Mary to her 50s, the three men all died young, too - Byron at 36, Shelley at 29 - yes, from drowning, Polidori at just 25. Also wasn't mentioned that Polidori also created something on that Dark And Stormy Night along with Mary's Frankenstein - he wrote The Vampyre, the first modern vampire story!)

The Lone Cyberman (and I am deliberately using that instead of 'Ashad') - creepy as shit. Not just the whole Frankenstein look, but the way he acted! Not emotionless and blank, but actively manipulative and sadistic! Mary showed empathy and he actively threw it back in her face! I mean, yikes.

House was terrific and also spooky as hell. (Am lowkey miffed that no one went "VIBE CHECK!") The jumbled layout was quite Castrovalva, and I actually really dig that Graham got to see some actual ghosts. Ghostly sandwiches!

I think we got actual confirmation here that Yaz does have feelings for the Doctor? (Bleeding Cool News is pretty sure that it was for Ryan, but... lmao no.) BBCA twitter certainly thinks so!

Claire: "His answers only increase the enigma." Yaz: "I know someone like that." Claire: "This enigmatic person of yours... would you trade them for reliable and dull?" Yaz: "My person's a bit different..."

I MEAN.

(It got deleted. So. There is that.)

Thirteen: "Hmm. Fourteenth... no. Fifteenth century... touch more umami." (Doctor, have you been playing Detroit: Become Human again?)

Mary: "I don't think they're really from the colonies!" Byron: "No, she... is from somewhere much, much stranger." Polidori: "The North."

Thirteen: "YOU HAD ONE JOB."

Cyberman: "You appear courageous. But your vital signs betray a heightened state of anxiety." Thirteen: "Or as I like to call it... Tuesday."

Thirteen: "Yeah, 'cause sometimes this team structure isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me at the summit, in the stratosphere, alone. Left to choose. Save the poet, save the universe. Watch people burn now, or tomorrow. Sometimes even I can't win."

Claire: "You pursued Mrs Doctor without a care for my presence, belittled my thoughts and opinions... and then proceeded to use my person as a human shield." Byron: "...And?" Claire: "And the spell is broken... my lord." Polidori's face: "haha you fucked up dude"

Next week: Shit Hits The Fan.

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Ascension of the Cybermen

In lieu of a proper post for Ascension of the Cybermen, here are a list of questions we need an answer for.

Will Graham and Yaz survive, on a giant carrier full of Cybermen?

Who is Brendan, and what is his relevance to the story?

What is the Boundary?

How is Gallifrey in the Boundary?

How was the Master in Gallifrey, and not trapped by the Kasaavin?

Who is Ko Sharmus and why am I getting Yana vibes?

Who is Ashad and what is his story? (And why is his theme such a literal banger?)

Is he an actual Cyberman? Because I'm totally getting this impression he's human in armour?

How did Brendan survive being shot, and why did his non-ageing father and mentor do that?

Why did it look like a chameleon arch?

Is Ethan's tech-savvy just warzone familiarity or something more sinister?

Are there any other large human populations left?

Was I detecting a hint of romantic tension between Graham and Ravio?

What's up with Yaz?

Why did the Cyberium get sent to that time period?

Who or what is this alliance Jack is a part of?

How do the Time Lords and the lie of the Timeless Child come into it?

WHO THE FUCK IS BRENDAN?

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The Timeless Children

WELL THEN.

While I gather proper thoughts on The Timeless Children, here are the questions I had from Ascension of the Cybermen, now with answers!

Will Graham and Yaz survive, on a giant carrier full of Cybermen?

Yup! Disguises for the win!

Who is Brendan, and what is his relevance to the story?

Brendan is a filtered overlay memory of one of the Doctor's former lives.

What is the Boundary?

An anomaly, as far as I can tell.

How is Gallifrey in the Boundary?

No idea!

How was the Master in Gallifrey, and not trapped by the Kasaavin?

No idea!

Who is Ko Sharmus and why am I getting Yana vibes?

A big damn hero.

Who is Ashad and what is his story? (And why is his theme such a literal banger?)

We're still not actually sure. Either way, he's an action figure now.

Is he an actual Cyberman? Because I'm totally getting this impression he's human in armour?

Yeah, sort of.

How did Brendan survive being shot, and why did his non-ageing father and mentor do that?

Because Time Lords.

Why did it look like a chameleon arch?

It's probably related technology! If the chameleon arch rewrites memories, this one just wipes them.

Is Ethan's tech-savvy just warzone familiarity or something more sinister?

Just warzone familiarity. Poor li'l bean.

Are there any other large human populations left?

Possibly! If the Boundary really did send them to random places, there still could be surviving pockets elsewhere in the universe.

Was I detecting a hint of romantic tension between Graham and Ravio?

Maybe a bit XD And now they're all on Earth, who knows?

What's up with Yaz?

Who knows?

Why did the Cyberium get sent to that time period?

Ko Sharmus sent it. Didn't send it far enough.

Who or what is this alliance Jack is a part of?

Same organisation Ko Sharmus is part of. Also, young!Ko Sharmus/Jack please.

How do the Time Lords and the lie of the Timeless Child come into it?

In so many ways.

WHO THE FUCK IS BRENDAN?

The Doctor!

More thoughts later!

-

Thoughts on Doctor Who - The Timeless Children.

...Actually, first thought is the title. Timeless Children? Hmm.

Anyway. That is... sure a literally mind-blowing revelation for the Doctor, yes! Like, damn, the discovery that you're not even the species you thought you were, that your adoptive parent spent lifetimes abusing and experimenting on you, that your memories were routinely erased by people you thought you could trust (including your adoptive parent), that you're literally the progenitor for your entire species, that you've lost who knows how much time and who knows how many memories... yeah. Damn.

What's an appropriate birthday present for someone turning ten million?

Also, huh. Amidst all the old lore and casual mentions (like Borusa!) that got mentioned - were they taking hints from the Cartmel master plan? About the Doctor being some kind of founding figure for Gallifrey? Not exactly written as Cartmel had it, but that big main concept of the Doctor as a sort of... foundation piece of Time Lord culture was still actually there.

Brain of Morbius Doctors confirmed, I guess. I guess even Four was going, "...the fuck?"

Cybermen = still scary. Regenerating Cybermen = felt somehow obscene. Like, no, that's just fundamentally not right. Like the TARDIS responding to Jack by noping the fuck out kind of not right. God. And the Master was completely and utterly magnificently batshit, like, more than usual, come on, dude, you know they'd kill or convert you the second you turned your back.

Still. Deeply, deeply entertaining to watch just from a villain perspective, completely Chaotic, and like... I do understand where he was coming from? His entire life is a lie. His entire life is because of the Doctor, who, I think it's fair to say, he has Complicated Feelings regarding. (Their entire interaction this episode was a giant power play. Like damn guys just get into BDSM and leave the would-be genocide and universal takeover.)

Tecteun = Rassilon, I'm assuming. Goddamn. Like they were a pompous abusive asshole from the outset, this just kind of makes it worse. I also wonder if Rassilon chose the Master specifically to get the drums because he was friends with the Doctor? That actually may have been something the Master worked out himself, too. I mean, I'd be pissed off as well :-\

Also, how many people know about this? I assume Gat knew, since she was implied to be responsible for the mind wipes, but was it like... a super tightly-held secret or was it something a lot of higher-ups knew? Because that's fucked up tbh

Thought on the Master. Okay, he's hugely furious that he's been lied to, that the entire origin of his people is based on a lie, that his greatest friendrivalloveenemy is incredibly special and that a part of her is in him and not in the fun way, but like... I'm also wondering if he's looking at the Time Lords, the way they turned him into their puppet, how they drove him insane for their own purposes, then looked at the Doctor - someone who has also been used, abused, experimented on, manipulated, controlled, and went, "No. This is an injustice and the Time Lords need to be punished for it."

Oh, saw a nice theory regarding the TARDISes - Ruth!Doctor had the original busted police box TARDIS. When she was eventually taken in to be mind-erased, they sent the TARDIS off to storage to be eventually repaired. The Doctor manages to steal that one, goes to Earth, and it immediately gets stuck again because it's still broken. Explains how Ruth!Doctor can have the police box while also being pre-everything.

I really want the Doctor and Jack to sit down and have a nice chat about being timeless undying constants of the universe. Also for Jack to get one of the spare TARDISes around. Be kinda funny if he got the Master's old one, given the Year That Never Was, but it really is just sitting there. (Poor TARDIS stuck as a tree on a random wartorn planet in the far future, though!)

Also, Jodie was fucking magnificent in this episode. The hurt, the absolute fury, the almost glee when she's telling the Master he can't break her, her refusal to press the button at the end (so much like Nine's "coward or killer?" moment!)... just... so good.

Beautiful post I saw here on Tumblr - the Doctor as the Timeless Child, making the choice to help.

Amazing post here on Tumblr about abuse and repressed memories. Even if the Doctor doesn't remember it all, the abuse they underwent at the hands of a beloved parent figure still informs a hell of a lot of their behaviour, but it doesn't define them. The Doctor's need to run = informed by abuse. The Doctor's desire to help crying children = informed by abuse. The Doctor being an inherently good person = being their own person, no matter what their upbringing, no matter what their past was. They made the choice to be the Doctor, and that's a hell of an important thing.

Extremely painful post I saw on Tumblr about the Doctor being 'hip with the kids' by calling her companions her Fam but hell if they're not more family to her than her actual adoptive mother ow my heart.

Also, the scene between Yaz and Graham was so sweet <3 I do want to see Yaz, at some point, admit that sometimes she's so terrified she can barely move, and to tell him what she came so close to doing when she was sixteen, and Graham to just go, "Yeah, but you keep going." Also I'm trying not to think about how Yaz would respond to the Doctor going off on a suicide mission when Yaz was suicidal just three years earlier because ow my heart. She knows that Ko Sharmus went after her, she knows the Doctor might be alive, but either way, she's just seen someone she loves leave with the intention of dying (and Ko Sharmus too, actually). Someone please give her a hug. Actually please just let the Fam have a big group hug in general.

"Have you ever been limited by who you were before?" "Huh. Now that does sound like me talking."

So, remaining questions to be answered next season!

What actually is the Doctor? Since they were found near the Boundary, they could be from anywhere. It's fair to say they now are recognised genetically as a Time Lord, but what were they originally, why were they abandoned in the first place, and are there any more of their original people out there?

How do the Remnants know about the Timeless Child, or were they just picking up on that unconscious knowledge from the Doctor's own mind?

Like... we're generally under agreement that the Master, the eternal cockroach, survived, right? Despite definitely being lowkey suicidal like oh, was hoping the Death Particle would kill me? Like the Death Particle was made by the Cyberium, it could have gone, "Nah, keeping this one."

What's going on with the Kasaavin? Remember them? Still out there, stationed all through time and space? And are we going to see Daniel Barton again?

Is something going on with Yaz?

Will the Fam stay on? (I personally think Ryan will elect to stay on Earth to account for Tosin Cole's new TV role, and if Graham and Ravio enter a relationship, he might too.)

When will we see Jack again? If he was connected to the Lone Cyberman arc, that seems... pretty conclusively finished, unless we're going to learn more about it?

Is it Christmas yet?

............so the Christmas/NY special is going to start with Jack using his vortex manipulator to bust the Doctor out of prison and get back to the Fam and it'll never be mentioned again, right.

"At least buy me diNNER!!"