#anyways i don't really have anyone i can talk to about this stuff
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This may be late because the full Megamind series season(1) is out, but I might as well advertise my favorite spin-off show to you, sad disappointed fans that are mad at DreamWorks for giving Megamind the low budget TV series treatment.
Also, to my Megamind mutuals that actually like the show, please know that this isn't against the show, I still think it's neat, but I still want to give attention to this niche series that I adore so much.
Hey you! Are you a miserable little slug, seeing DreamWorks gave your favorite movie the mediocre low budgeted TV series treatment, and you didn't want to hate watch it for some reason, so you decided to watch a video about the crab man losing his mind over it for your entertainment. Well, what if I told you that the crab man is wrong... about another series. That other series is Big Hero 6. YES! THAT'S RIGHT! BIG HERO 6 (2014) HAD A SPIN-OFF SERIES OF THEIR OWN! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T, YOU SILLY GOOSE. IT'S BEEN OUT FOR 7 YEARS AND BARELY ANYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT BEFORE ATHENA P MADE A VIDEO ABOUT IT. Sure, it did have some mentions in some videos, but it didn't have as much as a positive impact as much as the Tangled series did, but also didn't get the negative impact that the Megamind series had. It was just stuck, sitting in limbo, being forgotten by the DTVA, and only remembered by its fans, or what's left of them. But besides all of that, the show is honestly amazing with the writing, the new characters and villains, and the amount of trauma the writers give to Hiro in some episodes. But besides all of that, the show is honestly amazing with the writing, the new characters and villains, and the amount of trauma the writers give to Hiro in some episodes. Great stuff, really. Props to the season 1 villain to get under the heroes skins while still being an entertaining antagonist whenever he's on screen. The same goes for any of the villains. Well, some villains, some of them are kinda annoying in some cases, but most of them are beloved by the community. Now, yes, the series is taking place after the movie, but not instantly with the "What are we" line, but they actually build up to that point with the 2 parter episode that is "Baymax Returns", which is a good first episode, it has it flaws, but that ending is such a banger.
They actually remade the end credits from the movie into the series to make it more consistent with the story and introduce the main villain for the series. Anyway, go check out the series. It's a good watch, I promise you that. Or if you don't feel like it for whatever reason, watch the Athena P video on it. She basically already explained the main storylines from each season if you didn't want to binge watch the series as a whole. Also, a bonus, they have their own shorts series, and they are free on YouTube. Thanks for reading my poorly represented advertisement of my favorite show.
Me watching Megamind 2 trailer:
#big hero 6 the series#big hero 6#megamind#megamind rules#megamind vs the doom syndicate#athena p#athena p mentioned#schaffrillas productions#schaffrillas productions mentioned#hiro hamada
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I dont know. i wish i was as smart as i pretend to be sometimes
#my posts#oh the imposter syndrome.#experiencing The Symptoms#the truth of the matter is i'm not very creative and i'm mediocre at art and writing#and i may act like i understand music and music theory but i don't#and i pretend to know a lot about metal but i really only know anything about aluminum and copper#and i act like i understand planets and stars and their relation to each other#and i think the worst one among all these things i pretend to be knowledgeable about is ethical philosophy.#i've really only taken two and the other philosophy classes i've taken i eked by on#genuinely don't know how i passed my logic course so much of that goes over my head#i like acting clever because it makes me feel better about the simple fact i'm not really skilled at anything#most of the time when people ask me things i supposedly know i do a quick google search and just rephrase it#do i think this makes me a bad person? no.#it just makes Me feel bad#and honestly who Doesn't like the idea of being smart#and tbh is experiencing that Youngest Child Inadequacy which is t fair to my brother at all but oh baby when that sneaks up on you#anyways i don't really have anyone i can talk to about this stuff#i mean i do but i don't like burdening people with my vents so i use my blog sometimes as a journal#negative/#tbd.
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irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris
what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris
which could mean nothing
#just making guesses chatting shit talking bollocks you know how it is#if anyone can debunk that first thing pls tell me!#feel like i'm wearing a tinfoil hat and it doesn't vibe with my outfits if y'know what i mean#feel like i should do a timeline but every time i try it gets out of hand#ok have some very messy puzzle piecing:#liam & noel texting/calling from time to time since jan 2020#noel splits w sara spring 2022 starts spending more time in manchester#maybe march mothers day something happened?? possibly liam & noel met up in april??? that's pure speculation though#pretty boy released oct 31 2022 noel stops wearing wedding ring#noel spends christmas in england for the first time in ages#liam listens to the smiths all christmas eve. on christmas he has a party for close friends and family (including bod)#liam and debbie go to france for the new year to house hunt#liam claims on twitter (no one believes him) that noel is with him on new years day#(((he posts a selfie that i uhhh got very tinhatty about.. don't worry about it)))#noel goes to a football game on jan 5 and he is in a very good mood#divorce news jan 14. liam's divorce playlist jan 15. allegedly out drinking together jan 16. noel does promo for new single jan 17#jan 18th liam claims on twitter noel wants to meet up#peggy's 80th birthday end of jan#liam's hip surgery beginning of feb#feb 6th he claims noel's “coming over later to wipe my arse and change the bedding he's a good lad really”#starts slagging noel off for real again in early march (he'd been “nice” since november's pretty boy promo)#news that he bought a house in france#noel does a bunch of promo at the end of march (when the 3rd single came out) some of which didnt air until june when the album came out#there's one interview where he seems very tired and hungover and he blabs about paris for ages#end of march is the 1st time he tells liam to call him. 2 months later he asks (goads) liam again a bunch of times#anyway i probably forgot some liam tweets from jan/feb and i really haven't looked into 2022 or 2021 yet#but yeah it's pretty clear they were hanging out 👁️👁️ jan 2023 and then things soured by march after liam's surgery#(((kinda wonder if noel ghosted him and then was too scared to call))) ←wondering that bc it's exactly what i would've done :/#the christmas eve/day stuff probably means nothing btw but well i'm feeling insane about the new years stuff don't even worry about it
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I always found it slightly awkward how media makes siblings or people who see each other as siblings call each other brother/sister all the time as in real life you almost never see people do that with their own siblings (maybe someone out there like that)
In the case of Arkham Shadows I see why they did though because Bruce quite literally tells Harvey he loves him and Harvey says it back. Can't have the audience think Batman is in love with the DA.
They had Bruce pay for his college, pay for his campaign, pay for his surgery, pay for his therapy and had Harvey have him as his best man at his wedding. Wow..... Sugar baby Harvey is real.....
The calling sibling title thing is less common in English than in some other languages for sure- me and a couple of my siblings do it on occasion, but it's for a bit then. More common is when I call one of my close family friends "my sister" or "my nephew" when talking about them to someone else because it's faster and easier to say that than to say "my friend who I've known since she was born and lived with for a few years and consider a little sister" or "child of a close family friend who considers me an aunt" to someone who doesn't know them. Which is a lot of words to say that if they wanted to fully sell me on the brothers thing they should have either had a different bit or should have referred to the other as "my brother" when talking to an unrelated character instead.
But "oh no we have to make Bruce not look gay" has been a problem DC has struggled with more than once for many decades and it basically never works so I guess at least they didn't try to solve it this time by having Bruce pick a lady love over Harvey or cutting the holding hands thing
Because I saw that scrapbook! I know Harvey has been Bruce's sugar baby since he was ten years old! But we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him the love of his life because ok technically that's Gotham but also because gay. And we can't have Bruce take Harvey's hand and call him his best friend because they're not ten anymore and somehow that seems gay also. So brothers it is, I guess. Even if I think my brothers would bite my finger if I ever tried to pay for everything for them on that scale, guess it's different at billionaire levels
#I'm actually simultaneously a believer in grew up like brothers and absolutely down bad romantically#(and harvey as a representation of Gotham itself as a love)#like an election in two (three) positions at once#but the point remains- you can't really fully cover the care by slapping a brother label on it like dc tries to to avoid it being too gay ig#which is very funny because did you see all the bi Tim and Dick stuff in Gotham Knights- but Robin has always had more freedom than Batman#in the 'can we let anyone think he's anything other than totally straight' department#anyway now I'm thinking about how on earth-3 all the characters get a morality flip#but Two Face/Three Face is the only one i can think of who gets a gender flip as well#as if 'oh if we had just originally conceived of Dent as a woman it would have been better (morally) because then it wouldn't have ended up#looking so gay'#but no they did not explore that thread because apparently uh having love interests in the joker and riddler was more important#which you'd think should reflect back on standard issue harv eddy and clown but uh. not really no they don't want to admit it#and i suppose 'well no three face wouldn't have a thing for owlman because he's technically not a version of Bruce he's a version of b's#brother'#but like then again. if Harvey is his brother. then shouldn't something have been used there to connect it#in any way at all#but no#instead I'm left with many thoughts about Harvey as a brother as a lover as a personification of gotham and as a woman but#i am still very sleepy rn so i don't know how many of those thoughts are coherent#but all that to say#YEAH SUGAR BABY HARVEY#guess it wouldn't be comforting for Harvey to shakily ask what he is#and Bruce to answer 'you're my companion who i turn to for affection in and give you obscene amounts of money in turn'#but like. it also wouldn't have been incorrect.#... though 'sugar baby harv as part of the representation of Gotham itself' probably has something to it too#but i digress I'm sleepy#pocket talks to people#anon#* i meant 'electron' not 'election' in that earlier tag
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Slowly discovering the freeing power of the words "I know this is bad but I'll fix it in editing."
#bjk talks#bjk writing rambles#more rambly diary thinking out loud lol don't mind me#i really am starting to feel like very slowly i am actually learning to be a better writer from all this fic stuff#in addition to producing Feels#slash actually starting to develop a writing process rather than just kind of word-spewing#i really hope the end beat of this chap has the impact i want bc it is taking considerable leadup to get there XD#but i'm starting to hit a rhythm of getting some done each day without burning myself out#and focusing on producing a draft that can then be molded#it's challenging because my brain wants the quick dopamine hit of finishing and publishing#rather than focusing on the intermediate steps#tbh this is probably a big part of why longfic has intimidated me up to this point XD#anyway for anyone following along i think i'm about 3/4 done with OYE chapter 4#it's turning out longer than i expected#HOPING to have a full draft to spend time editing this weekend but we'll see#after all this rambling about it the actual chapter is probably gonna be anticlimactic but it helps keep me motivated XD#</ramble>
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I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.
It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.
It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.
When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.
Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.
I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.
#one day i will understand how to convey self in a way that is Mine and also Effective Communication#but lord knows it ain't today#it's always so interesting to me the way people decide to position me in their social/power schema#the funny thing i think is that even as a toddler people seemed to assign me a seriousness and gravity of social value that was both#irrational and inexplicable and in many cases wildly inappropriate#apparently one of my auntie's got in a bad way of 'consulting' me like her personal spiritual guide when I was like#two years old????#and she had to be like#you can't keep talking to my toddler about this stuff#that's an extreme one but like#it's also in line with the trend#i don't think people realize how dehumanizing it feels to be Assigned Moral and Social Weight and Value like that#it makes it so painfully clear to me that i am expected to manage to accommodate everyone's needs while never having#or at least never expressing or acknowledging in the presence of others#any needs of my own regardless of their impact on me#sometimes I think people assume that I went into the fields I did as like. a white knight type motivation#or like#that going into the field is what's made me the way I am#and like.#not really. it's more that I knew my role in life was 'other people's emotional regulation/go-to anchor' as long as I've had self-concept#and at a certain point you've been playing that role long enough that your options are either#become a subject matter expert and contributer to the field#or fucking kill yourself#because you certainly can't keep doing what you're doing#i dunno. i guess i just wished there was anyone in my life i trusted to see me as the fully complexified and messy human I am#i might feel a little less like i'm the only real thing in my life#anyway i think i'm gonna go. dissociate out of existence for a while before i get the kind of suicidal that's going to worry wifey#i don't think i can cope with needing to regulate her out of an anxiety response right now and i understand that means i can't need care atm#you ever just get the feeling that you're drowning under the weight of the needs you just can never seem to meet? i do.
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HUGE VENT
I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen
My routine these last two weeeks has been:
-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep
-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw
-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am
I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍
Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore
Silence is actually worse than loud rooms
It's driving me insane
It's so loud
#literaly so mentally exhausted to the point that i forgot to ask a bunch of really important stuff and tests at my last gyneco appointement#i can't remember which med I'm supposed to take at a specific hour and which one is whenever. so i just take them both at the same time#i can't remember if i have still boxes of meds in advance and which one i need to go refill#because they're stuff i need to constantly take and not suddenly stop with#but i keep forgetting to check#and i can't remember where i put the prescriptions anyway#and which one are the right one and which one are old#I'm so tired#and I'm so tired of being tired#and I'm SO so so tired of constantly fighting to have my health and struggles acknowledge#i kinda just gave up and now i'm just mindlessly sitting there at the appointments for only 10 minutes being being told that i can leave#I've just been run in circles for way too long#and i get aggresively criticised every time i use advice and seek for help on the Internet. by the same doctors who don't give me ANY advic#or help#and my head has been pounding for two days#and my verbal ticks have gotten so bad that it genuinely gets hard to breathe sometimes#with a therapist that just made me talk in circles and lowkey criticised me for two hours#(this was our first real therapy meeting and they're supposed to only be 1 hour and are NOT reimbursed because the autism center will NOT#fucking answer to ANYONE. medical professional or not. so i had to go private 😃👍)#and the only thing she gave me at the end of those 2 hours was this schedule that I'm not allowed to bend#I've been trying to daydream about my AUs and develope them as usual to try to feel better#but now that i have time to draw. i just get more and more drawing ideas that keep pilling up and tear me apart from the inside because i#can't draw any of them thanks to this damn fatigue#i literally only did 1 af revenge and still need to do 3 more. and i genuinely don't know if I'll manage to do that#i told two friends that ill draw something for them. but nothing. because too tired and everything keeps slipping from my mind#i will daydream about Dimentio for hours straight. then forget that i did. and panic that the fixation is slipping because i “haven't#thought about him in a while“. ”a while“ was 40 seconds ago. I'm not exaggerating this keeps happening#i also keep spending the night DRENCHED in sweat because i just can't sleep without my blanket on me anymore. so more struggles#vent#negative
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[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.
#Then there's also a part of me that's like “does anyone even care at this point? haven't I already talked about them too much?”#but I have seen many a take that irk me...#and perhaps at the center of it all nagging at me is that persistent conflation of love and pride#Less about that in Normal's mind so much as in Will's and the fandom's 🤔#Also that reoccurring issue of the fandom going ''Normal thinks this therefore it is The Truth'' though I believe I've discussed this befor#And... Hooks Will could have grabbed onto but didn't... Quite a few of those...#And the double standard/negativity bias in fandom of ignoring that Sparrow says both that he loves and likes Normal while doodlerized#But not treating those with the same legitimacy we do the pride thing. And ignoring Sparrow's demonstrations of love and change...#And what the love wolf scene actually implies about Sparrow (as I see it) with his own explanation of the pride thing in mind#But also!!! Also on Norm's epilogue and how despite everything taken at face value (i.e. no teen talk influence) I don't actually hate it#and I think it's plenty salvageable#And gah also that like *regardless* of how things turn out with Normal and his dad-#Well I haven't listened to much of the teen talk just the directly Sparrow-relevant clips#so I don't know quite how cynical Will is or isn't about Normal's future#But like. UGH. What I'm trying to say is even if things didn't find resolution vis-a-vis his dad#(which tbh I could go either way on- it's the meta misinterpretations of Sparrow that Bother me not so much Normal's)#(Well that's complicated. Again it comes back to the love vs. pride thing gosh this is so vague of me lol)#With all the positive influences in his life (and just the fact that life is long? and therapy is a thing?) I just don't see Normal-#being Miserable for the rest of his life. Like. I mean I won't elaborate here really but damn it no he can absolutely turn out alright stil#blugh#BUT YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THAT'S A LOT OF STUFF AND THAT'S ONLY VAGUE RAMBLINGS ABOUT *SOME* OF IT#Like I'm proud of a lot of my essay posts (which I'm hoping to eventually compile in a masterpost eventually actually) but they take a whil#And if my heart wants to do other things... Ah idk...#ANYWAYS a vent to vent a vent to vent
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peace and love on planet earth save me.... peace and love on planet earth.... save me peace and love on planet earth....
#had a terrible night last night and am having an awful morning so far bc. I agree with everyone but disagree with#the level of some of the reactions#if that makes sense#I'm being intentionally vague but. I did talk this through with someone last night#I just think the magnitude of some responses may simply be... overreacting? at least in my perspective#and the perspectives of several people who I'm fairly close to#it's simply... I really struggle with having solid opinions about stuff bc I'm not confident in my knowledge#my political views are essentially ''I wish everyone would be nice and get along''#which ik is not possible in this world. however. I#I don't think that giving up a whole Interest and something you love just bc of something someone associated with it believes#is necessarily always called for?? and in this case I don't think that it is???#maybe 2 people will get what I'm saying here and I don't want to get into arguments. I think killing and destruction should STOP#end of story. idc who is doing it or why. I think it should just stop. but I also don't think dropping [REDACTED] for associating#with someone whose support falls the other way (saying this as kindly as I can btw :/ ) is necessarily a response that needs to be had#does that make sense?? at all???#I just wanna have fun next weekend 😭#anyway. Christian girlies and anyone who prays please pray for me to stop overthinking and overfeeling this
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Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care
#i have 14 hours overtime#collected within 2 weeks lol#you know how it's apparently mandatory for companies in germany to have a way track employees working time? yeah we're#the only company in the whole fucking country who doesn't do that (obviously that's not true there's probably plenty more but it's#still not right.) so we don't get paid overtime nor does it get acknowledged in any way#so technically we're not allowed to even it out (which most people try to do anyway because tf do they think they are asking us to work for#free) but I'm dedicated to not collect any more unpaid working hours so i take the liberty to leave work early this week#so today i left at 12pm (and then got home 4 hours later because another person decided to kill themselves by train. they should call me#first. or anyone else taking the train. I'm sure there'd be plenty of volunteers to do the killing if it means not another miserable day#stuck in a disgusting train). and i logged in again at 6pm today to see if i have anything important messages (stupid i know)#and i saw the missed calls and that there had been an email exchange with me in the cc talking about the 'changes' made in one of the#articles and that someone else could do that for me since i couldn't be reached and at first i felt ashamed and scared#but now it's honestly just pissing me off. that asshole can't write emails and communicate requests like normal people can he#he already called me last week about something completely stupid and acts like his matters are the most important shit in the world#fuck you if you can't wait one day you should have sent this a month earlier because i won't stay online everyday#just to see if there might be an 'important' change you want me to make Immediately. bitch.#also missed two calls from my colleague but she didn't send any messages about what she wanted so i asked her because i felt bad for not#being online and turns out she wanted Nothing. just hear how i was. JUST TEXT ME THEN???? I HATE IT HERE FUCK YOU#seriously i don't get paid enough for this to bother me so much. she probably gets 12-15€ more than me per hour#of course she doesn't care about her overtime as much as i do. i get minimum wage which is less than what I'd get if i still worked at uni#as a student assistant so fuck this shit it's really not important or worth it. from now on i'll only put in minimum effort too#sorry got carried away. rant over now i guess#void screams#work stuff
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I think what is missing with 4-sided Dive that Talks Machina had was a third party to have those character discussions with. It's not the same with a fellow PC. Also someone with interviewing abilities, sometimes I feel like they meander so much.
And I do like to watch them talk, I do watch old episodes of AWNP, fireside chat, etc, but for discussing the game/campaign I think the mechanics of it muddles with the flow.
I personally feel no value is added from the tower of inquiry or the cup questions, though I don't mind the game playing at the end since at this point who had their curiosity satisfied can simply leave, but answering while playing which they tried doing at least once I watched didn't work at all.
Edit: Btw when I say no value is added I mean the format (being in a cup, pulling from the tower) and not the questions themselves.
#and. idk about y'all. but the broom bit just goes over my head#does anyone actually find that funny?#i can see some of them either don't want or don't like 'hosting'#them reading off the teleprompter also ruins the mood#i wish there was someone prepared to guide them through these conversations#maybe not dani bc she's prone to adding her own insights. which i like! but not in a host#SOMEONE TO CONTROL SAM#i *love* him but he derails so much#anyway. I'm not saying 4sided dive is doomed. but I think it has a *long* way to go before it's on TM level#unless you hated brian then all I'm saying must sound like bs xD#AND btw i have no nostalgia for TM. I hopped on this train in c3 and I haven't watched c2#i just really enjoyed their conversations#talks machina#4-sided dive#critical role#cr stuff#4 sided dive#(late addendum: this was written b4 the shitty dude's debacle. im really sad he ruined to show for everyone that admired him in the past#BUT i still recognize the value it had. not just from his hosting but from the format. the questions submitted#while my opinion remains. my admiration for him does not. i still wish for a host for the new show. obviously someone different)
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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tell us more about essence 🙏🙏🙏
starts vibrating
GOD as much as I wanna talk about the story, I need to do just a little bit more exposition. Want it all to make sense, ya know?
So, assuming people have seen this post and this post, I've got what you're looking for under the cut.
Alright it's time to talk about spirits.
So throw what you know about spirits out the window, because "spirit" in the Essence world refers to the entities that can manipulate elements and energy.
For a bit of hierarchy, there's the first spirit (who's kinda lost to time, but we meet them in Essence), and then 3 different spirits who are dubbed the Creation Spirits: Soros (spirit of darkness), Uradata (spirit of abyss), and Illumi (spirit of light). In the olden times, they came down to the human world and made friends with some humans. As a bit of a token of friendship, some of the humans beared children beacuse of them (consensually!). We'll get to those children later.
After leaving the humans, these spirits got busy, and started making spirits to control elements. There's a lot of them, and we'll touch on them in a second. A few years later, something happened: the spirits and humans found out that the elemental spirits and the human children of the spirits could form a symbiotic bond with one another. These bonds... are just called bonds, but they are still a very common occurrence in the present day.
Anything beyond that delves into Essence lore, and I fear I'll ramble incoherently, so we'll stop there. For a conclusion, the new "terms" and characters I can introduce:
Bond: the link formed between a vessel and a spirit. For shelter and some nutrients from the vessel to the spirit, the spirit would grant the vessel usage of their powers, and if needed, armor and a weapon, whose form is decided by the spirit. There's some nuance to bonds, but I'll save it for another post.
Omega: spirit that controls plasma (limited control, but still pretty powerful). Bonded to Lily
Zephyr: spirit that controls wind. Bonded to Alex
Ravi: spirit that contols fire. Bonded to Percy.
Geoc: spirit that controls earth. Bonded to Enzo.
Vergals: spirit that controls ice. Bonded to Robin.
#odevasks#O.Dev's Essence#I really need to make a masterpost don't I. I'll do it after all the lore is done#fun fact! all spirits are agender/use any pronouns#i kinda throw around pronouns when i refer to certain spirits just to keep them straight in my head but. it really doesn't matter.#me realizing we'll have to touch on a lot of this later...#like what I just described is part 1 of the like. “Legend has it” story lol#anyway. holding myself back so I don't just ramble for ages. as much as I want to. but i'll descend into nonsense at some point#anyway! with the spirits introduced I can actually talk about like. more story stuff. slightly.#one day we'll get to plot. maybe like. 1-2 more lore posts. one for characters and one for nuances w/ bonds and “legend has it” part 2.#but after that all of the basic lore will be done! yippee!#anyway ty for the ask anon I quite literally almost dropped my phone when I checked my notifications#feel free to send in asks about any aspect.... that goes for anon and really anyone else who's curious
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i wonder, if i ever met a dropout watcher irl and somehow managed to not drop a reference anywhere in my time around them and so they wouldn't know i watched anything from it, how fast they would catch onto me from my speech patterns, or how fast they would realize in retrospect where all these things come from upon finding out. or like, alternatively, someone getting to know me irl and then being introduced to dropout, and suddenly having a frame of reference for like. what a lot of my speaking habits are probably modeled after. does it show that i watch dropout? do i talk like a good percentage of the audible conversation i am exposed to in my daily life comes from one streaming platform? would love to know. would truly love to know
#aspen tag#it really is like. like.#there is only so much of sentence delivery you can convey online and i STILL think i'm noticable out here#but like. in my head? just fucking thinking my thoughts?#i will look back in on myself like a hall of mirrors and go “oh i am putting emphasis on this sentence exactly like brennan does”#or “oh i am doing this thing to make people laugh that i picked up from aabria”#i straight up like do not see ppl irl often or rlly even like talk to people out loud with my mouth all that much#bc not all the friends i have online rlly vc and i'm also not always awake when they do#or i'll be like bouncing around between discord and watching something and i don't catch that they're on until they're not doing it anymore#and . ..... this is a rheka voice. is what i'm doing as i'm thinking this#sorry. anyways. back on track#i don't have a job i'm not in school i have like ... just started a hobby but i haven't really connected with anyone there yet etc#the people i have conversations out loud with regularly can be sorted into two categories and they are my parents and doctors#so like i have so little frame of reference for what i am like in actual conversation with ppl just out of scarcity of data to work with#and like ..... idk. it'd be interesting#obviously i know i'm mirroring it because i'm in my own head#but i don't know to what degree it'd be noticable to other people (if at all)#it'd just be cool to dig into if i ever got the chance#and like. y'know. obviously there's like the “in-credible” level tells and shit. but like. inflection? wording habits?#the stuff that's like. influences. as opposed to direct draws. i SAID smth about this in the tags and somewhere in the edits it got lost#so. yeah. that stuff. that stuff
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youtube
Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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Really really don't get why so many people seem to have this burning hatred for Ukraine where they'll just... bring them up randomly purely to drag them through the mud and it's like... ok... but... do you actually know a single thing about Ukraine or what's been happening there?
Do you for instance remember when a major dam was destroyed by russia causing massive ecological damage?
Like I'm dead serious here, can you tell me a single thing that's happened in Ukraine in the last 2 years? Can you in any way demonstrate any basic understanding of the situation?
Cause if not... why do you think you should have an opinion on it, especially if your opinion is gonna be how awful people getting bombed are?
Just legit bothers me and... even more so bothers me the number of smart and caring people I see doing this. Basically I'm not even trying to be rude here, I'm trying to remind you to pay attention and remember that not everything you read on the internet is true, a tumblr post isn't a source unless they're giving you a reputable source
Cause like me? I can go track you down articles about the Nova Kakhovka dam being destroyed, and I can talk about all the reason why it's pretty clear that russia destroyed it
Can you do the same for me? Can you back up your claim about Ukraine with something concrete?
In many ways I'm not even asking you to support Ukraine, I get we have a limit to how much we can focus on, it's ok if you focus on your cause and I focus on mine and... both of us giving our undivided attention, maybe we both make some small impact on the world
What I'm asking is you don't be an asshole for no reason. You don't need to throw Ukraine under the bus. Don't you think your cause stands up on it's own two feet?
And again I'm not Ukrainian, I don't know as well as someone there, though... I spare you a lot of the stuff that crosses my dash because I don't want to burn people out with horrible stuff, but please understand it's worse than you probably think
So no, not Ukrainian, but I'll tell you why I'm still worth listening to: I've followed this every day since the invasion began. I keep my ear to the ground. I do know a fair bit and again can back what I have to say up
Anyway, my plea is to just not be a dick to people for no reason. The correct number of bombed civilians is zero, that's my stance
#still fucking haunts me the video of this zoo keeper just crying as she films the flooded zoo#and you can just hear all the animals screaming in terror as they slowly drown#and... there... there just wasn't anything anyone could do#the water was coming up too fast... they didn't have time... they didn't have the equipment to move them#it was really only the birds that survived cause they at least could fly away when their enclosures were opened#I really do mean haunt; like... the second I think about it... just kind of gnaws at my insides#and that's just one video of one thing from one event#anyway; to pivot slightly; not that I want to call everything I disagree with russian propaganda#but there's various stuff I can point to and draw a pretty solid line between it and russian propaganda I think#as in; if I popped open sputnik right now I think there's a fair chance I'd find an article on it#...like the biolabs thing; that one I literally did that with and guess who was spreading it? the literal propaganda site#like man... you're smart; you're so brilliant... why on earth are you falling so hook line and sinker for this stuff?#Ukraine ain't your enemy man#where as russia; again I can draw a direct line between them and say... the suffering of the Iranian people#between russia and the election results in Venezuela; to my understanding russia literally has ships off the coast right now#and it's a fact putin congratulated maduro despite there being a number of issues#such as... the total percentages released by the government totaling 109%#listen man; I'm not stupid; I'm susceptible to propaganda too; you think I don't know that?#but I can at least show my work and I can at least explain my motivation and I can at least lay it all bare#maybe I'm wrong... maybe#hard for me to think I am when I see hospitals being bombed... kinda tend to think the people who do that are bad#(and why... why do people keep making it a pissing match instead of saying 'it's bad no matter where it happens'?)#but maybe I'm wrong... at least I can walk you through why I'm coming to the conclusion I am#and just fuck me... all I want is a world where no one's getting blown to bits for the crime of being alive#do you actually have any grasp of geopolitics?#not as in like... this or that theory or some bullshit about why america good; america bad; whatever#I mean can you actually draw a line between things happening around the world and tell me how they relate?#like... can you talk about India in relation to other countries; can you talk about Modi's politics?#(I can't stand Modi and I think I have some pretty good reasons such as his treatment of the Muslim minority; he's a nationalist)#can you talk at all about Turkey; or Armenia and Azerbaijan?
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