#anyways i almost used this panel for my theme it’s hilarious

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I LOVE THIS PANEL SO MUCH DJFHSJJS barou truly brings out the…well not the BEST in nagi necessarily but you will NEVER see that man more active than when he’s around barou

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

[lumilasi]

Reading the newest chapter, my first reaction once again was ”Okay Calm Down Satan” at Hori, but also like...

something about the way our new buff lady was portrayed and drawn made her look kinda villainous to me almost? That one angle of her face just screamed ”villain looking down smugly at the hero” to me, using words like ”exterminate” (the translation I read anyway) and her quirk....her quirk just sounds very villainous to me too lmao. Not to mention riding kinda villainous looking jet.

IDK if its on purpose (I wouldn’t be surprised given the overall themes of the story; heroes are flawed, villains are people too, the society’s structure contributes to a toxic and problematic cycle, people do not fit in simple boxes of ’hero’ and ’villain,’ etc. Basically world isn’t black and white to summarize it) but it was almost hilarious how she just did NOT feel like a hero to me almost at all due to these details, despite the typical hero spandex outfit and everything. If I had only just now picked the manga, knowing nothing about it, I feel like I would’ve almost assumed she was some fancypants over-the-top antagonist, facing off another antagonist or something.

She’s supposedly inspired by All Might, but All Might never made me feel like ”hmm...are you sure you’re not the bad guy secretly? You got all the moves for a bad guy” Even during his first introduction.

I know I know, we’ve had more time to get to know Toshinori so obviously this is not that good of a comparsion, but again....my first reaction to All Might when I started reading was not to wonder why the hell does it feel like this ’hero’ is portrayed and drawn rn like a villain often would be.

It’s just my subjective reaction to this of course and might just be me. I just couldn’t help it; that one panel where she kinda looks down with all those sparkles around her just screamed ”arrogant fancypants villain bragging at the hero’ to me for some reason, more than ’hello I am a hero that has come to save the day!”

Ma’am maybe next time try not to ride a villain-style jet

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-10-15

More Homestuck, continuing directly from last time.  Gonna Bang Out A Liveblog Quick (GbOALq)…

No chapter title this time, just straight continuation.  (By the way, I didn’t reblog it so spoilers don’t headline my blog but this post regarding last upd8 is delightful)

> (==>)

Okay, this makes more sense as to why they both disappeared -- Vrissy is either trying to get her back or is going along and just being grousy about it, or one under the pretense of the other or the like.

By the way, if Rose specifically planned in a way that involved telling Vriska to sit on the sidelines and not doing anything, shouldn’t she ABSOLUTELY KNOW, one-hundred percent with a combination of her Seer of Light powers and common sense, that Vriska will Not Do That?  --so whatever Vriska is about to do I’m going to assume Rose has accounted for it, unless she’s like...

...sworn off using her powers much, or something.  That would super suck and I would hate for that to be in this story regardless of themes.

Vriska Maryam-Lalonde, recently "Vrissy," and potentially "You Are So Grounded You Are Never Leaving The House Again," isn’t what’s commonly referred to as an "outside girl".

She likes grass. It’s fine! To look at. And so are trees, as long as they’re somewhere off in the distance, swaying gently in the breeze. Trampling through them is not on the list of acceptable tree activities. Vrissy is already sweaty and dirt-streaked, and there’s probably like fifty gnats trying to drink her eye fluids. At this rate she almost envies Tavros his role as Batterwitch Bait. Sure, he has to pretend to be threatened by Vrissy’s mom, which is lame as hell and also very embarrassing, but at least his eye fluids are safe.

So she’s fine with this in principle, just not with the work involved? Or--

VRISSY: Hey, can you slow Down a Little? VRISSY: I have to run over Shru8s and shit, I can’t Fly! VRISKA: Hah! And who’s fault is that???????? VRISSY: My shitty 8iology I guess! VRISSY: Sorry, not all of Us had SGRU8 Sessions to make ourselves Immortal. VRISKA: Well, we’ll take care of that, don’t even worry a8out it. VRISSY: Lol I wish.

Oh Christ, we really should have seen it coming.  OF COURSE VRISKA is going to get her hands on a copy of the Game and try and have these kids play it, regardless of whatever meteor-based consequences to this happy society.  FUCK.  She doesn’t even see any reason to hide it!

--reading on, some discussion of how people on Earth C view the ability to fly unaided as a sort of religious thing so shot down Roxy’s idea of letting everyone fly.  Why does society always keep trying to shut down Roxy all the time

VRISKA: Really, we have to get you a god tier. That’s pretty much the only solution at this point. VRISKA: Ideally we’d go back to when you were a wiggler and start your training right away, 8ut that’s not exactly an option. So god tier it is. VRISSY: Is that even Possi8le? outside of the Game? VRISKA: Nope. 8ut we don’t have to worry a8out that, once we get back into SGRU8. VRISSY: What???

This is what you get for letting Vriska back into your story:  She starts another meteor apocalypse and destroys your Happily Ever After.  Fuck.

VRISKA: We have to start this shit over again, you have all let it get so out of hand there’s really nothing to do besides a hard reset.

NO.  Fuck you.  You just don’t like hard work.

(I know everything is accidentally going to end up working out “alright” whatever happens, but even if Vriska’s self-aggrandizing malfeasance HAPPENS to be the cause of it, I really, really don’t want her fucking ideology to be the cause of it.  She shouldn’t be Aesma of Kill Six Billion Demons mythology, she’s had too many flirtations with ACTUALLY learning a lesson and BEING EARNEST ABOUT IT to be the selfish chaos at the heart of victory and living.)

(Yes, I recently caught up with KSBD and it’s awesome.)

> (==>)

VRISKA: This is a perfect spot for a fight. An am8ush point. VRISSY: !! VRISKA: Don’t worry about it, that’s good. That’s what we’re looking for.

Vriska leveraging her luck and assuming they’ll be followed when she wants to be.

> (==>)

That’s a really, really damn good waiting-for-an-ambush image.  Pretty hilarious.

(Still having a background mental fit about how this HS2 crew might REALLY be trying to make Vriska the Aesma of the Homestuck “universe” which is just aaaAAAUGH NOBODY SHOULD WANT THAT.  I’ll be really unhappy with the end product of THIS ENTIRE HS2 PROCESS if they pull that shit, no matter what side benefits there are or how happily it ends.  Hell, ESPECIALLY if it ends happily.  They’re having fun elevating her somewhat more than most people agree she deserves but they shouldn’t elevate her TO THAT LEVEL. EDIT3: More discussion on that here if you don't know what I mean.)

> (==>)

VRISKA: This is actually way more fun than I thought it would 8e. VRISKA: 8ringing around a younger, dum8er me. VRISSY: I think we’re 8asically the Same Age. VRISKA: Whatever!

(Fuck you!)  :)

> (==>)

wait what the fuck--

MANDATED HAIRSTYLES?????

what the fuck!???

EDIT: plausible theory here

> (==>)

Vrissy is that fuzzy dice kind what the hell

> (==>)

Circle, fifteen guys, no special significance that i can detect

> (==>)

Oh is War Shit kinda poppin off alongside the whole church thing?

> (==>)

Colorful ship design, weird zoomout frame transition; something wasn’t smooth with that

Anyway is orbital bombardment gonna happen or?

> (==>)

JOHN: vriska! JOHN: i mean, vriskas!! JOHN: where are JOHN: oh fuck

yeap

> (==>)

Is John flying out under the ship away from the house?  That’s really irresponsible.  (And abruptly transitioned, I didn’t realize it happened at first.  KEYFRAME THINGS BETTER AUGH)

--why is that belly button window still there?  I thought we had a line about Harry fixing his outfit, or at least having the capability to, did they not have time to finish?  Let me check, that’s bugging me:

HARRY: plus i wouldn’t have been able to get your measurements for some clothes that actually fit you if we hadn’t come back here where all my sewing stuff is.

Oh GOT IT.  Harry TOOK his measurements, but hasn’t fixed his outfit yet.

> (==>)

JOHN WHY DID YOU GO ALL THE WAY TO THE CHURCH WHO THE FUCK IS PROTECTING THE KIDS

> (==>)

Okay you’re back at Your House instead of Roxy’s house?

What, going to fight the ship or

I mean you could but you’re kind of forgetting what was the most important damn thing a few panels ago you jackass

> (==>)

Is that a bomb or fucking take out??

Why blow up John’s HOUSE that’s just so petty

> (==>)

ka-house

(pretty)

about time John stopped languishing in his childhood home instead of living life, anyway.

> (==>)

(o no i didnt want john to be sad tho)

it’s fine, he’ll be angry next panel or so

> (==>)

UM THE WHOLE SKY IS GETTING DARK???? HOW LONG ARE YOU SITTING HERE AND LETTING THIS BURN OUT???

HOW MANY HOURS ARE YOU LEAVING THOSE KIDS UNPROTECTED YOU GOLDFISH MEMORY CHUCKLEFUCK

> (==>)

APPARENTLY ALL OF THE HOURS BECAUSE IT’S NIGHT NOW YOU ASS

and that’s the last panel

yknow if we are going to have an arc about john learning to be a slightly more responsible parent it would help if it SHOWED HIM LEARNING ANYTHING

GOODNIGHT

EDIT2: Anonymous asked: "I think the whole "John watches his house burn down" is more him coming to terms with who Jane has become. In the last update they mentioned how Rose(I think it was Rose) baited Jane into believing John and the kids were hiding out at his place, and Jane just destroyed it, so he's coming to terms with the fact that she just tried to kill not only John and Vriska, but the kids too."

Oh shit. I forgot about that from the previous update: "JOHN: but rose sent out some false intel about us heading toward my house, so technically this is the safest place we can be right now, since they cleared the area and everything." He really does have to come to terms with the fact that Jane just tried to murder them all, too, so shit is definitely real.

...Which makes the fact that he didn't rush off to guard the kids in response to THAT NEW FACT still pretty galling, but.

[tfw-no-tennis]

One Piece Readthru

heyo ive decided its time for me to catch up on the one piece manga finally!! i last read it uhhh sometime late 2018?? MAYBE early 2019....anyways ill be liveblogging it, basically for myself but if anyone is interested then enjoy lol

so w.out further ado hers 927-931 hya 

uh ok i left off kinda in the middle of the wano arc, so im scanning thru some stuff to see what i remember.....i dont really remember what the deal is with that ginger (?) pompadour guy lmao. theres a lot of new characters and intricate politics in this arc from what i remember. 

i havent really gotten spoiled for anything....i know that something bad happens to kid & killer, somethins up w/sabo (but we dont know what), luffy fights kaido (more than once i think?) uhhhhh we get roger flashbacks and hear the yonkous bounties....thats abt all i really know. so im hype to find out what else has gone on....

im gonna start around 927, i defs read this but i want a refresher 

wow its amazing how sanji can oscillate so fast from being unbearable and annoying to like one of my favs

i loveeee the panels where those dudes start trashing sanjis soba stand and usopps like lol lets back up yall we KNOW sanjis boutta kick some righteous ass....YESSS

franky supplexing a guy....ily franky 

toko!!! i forgot abt her!!! cute kid, whats her deal? iirc she works at the uhhh wherever komurasaki works and she almost gets murderized later

sanji and little kids is so cute ;_; more of that and less stuff of him being gross w/women 

ok exposition....i do remember a lot of this

928, i feel like i remember this stuff so ill kinda blow thru it 

oh yeah i remember luffy n the prison shennanigans....good times

and kidds here too, talkin abt how he lost his arm trying to fight shanks...lol dude 

dude is really like oh i couldnt take down shanks, so ill aim for a different yonkou, im sure this will go much better a second time (and down an arm)

omfg i forgot abt this dude who apparently sold his FAMILY to get money for komurasaki....

i think we’re supposed to feel bad for this dude and think komurasaki is cruel or w/e but man honestly i just respect the hustle. girl knows whats up

HVBJSDKFBDS I FORGOT THE HILARIOUS LINE WHERE SHES LIKE ‘I HATE POOR PEOPLE <3′ IM....its literally like a weird twitter shitpost lmaooo

they cut immediately from komurasaki to tama asking momo if he has a sister....LMAO SUBTLE......

i dont even remember if that twist was spoiled for me, but either way it was my like immediate thought upon komurasakis intro lmao 

ok 929!

omg kanjuro selling some-drawn fish lol

OUGHHH CARROT AND THE OTHER MINKS....i miss carrot sm i hope she shows up more :( i really wish she would join the crew....

lmao that guy calling zoro a pretty boy and saying girls are probably all over him....zoros like uh ew no im gay 

OOOH PLOT SHITTTTT....caesar and doflamingo name drops...

VEGAPUNK HM [eyes emojiey]

orochis defs gonna get fucked up at some point. his design reminds me of wapol and other like corrupt king archetypes 

oguhfdbsjkgjdfbh laws head basket i forgot abt that. also i love when people call him traffy thats weirdly cute 

oh right the other supernovas who became kaidous bitches are here to fight...i recall that fight somewhat 

920 time! 

oh yeah the weird place where all the poor starving people laugh constantly...inch resting

OHH YEAH BIG MOM!!! man i definitely read a lot further than this lmao. w/e i was SO fucking hype when she showed up, imo the whole amnesia thing is pretty lame. we’ll see where it goes tho 

the art here is just so good oh man. the panel of big moms ship charging up the waterfall while she laughs? fantastic 

EPIC arrival. i hope big mom gets to do cool stuff even despite the impending amnesia

i ALSO hope her kids get to do cool shit too. im still holding out for a zoro vs amande battle (if shes even there? i dont see her, but thatd be such a waste)...and smoothie vs robin....

and she wants zeus back....NAMI FIGHT??? PLEASE???

oh its bdsm dinosaur guy....hmm never thought id type that

LMAOOOO law is like Dont You Dare Fucking Snitch On Us and usopp is like uh luffy pls come pick me up this guy is too hardcore

FINAL BATTLE thats so dramatic law please

sanji saying he’ll protect usopp omfg

oooh theyre destorying all the soba shops....here comes sanji to bring the PAIN

OMFG THE RAID SUIT i forgot he busts that out....hilariously quickly all things considered

931! ok but first my obligatory thots on how sad i am abt how the women of op look nowadays lmao revisiting old one piece just makes it all the more obvious how ridiculous its gotten....like nami and robin dont even look human, its insane, and the sameface has gotten so bad...idk i miss when op women used to look normal and could just exist without being Sexy Women bc that was a thing at the beginning and i really loved that...now its just like wow all titty no waist legs are 100x longer than normal....not to mention the writing for women in op has gone way downhill...ugh. ANYWAYS onward 

ofc as soon as i say that theres a rlly cute and p normal looking cover w/nami...i love her sm shes my fav character thats part of the reason this bothers me so much lol 

i miss her short hair tho...the long hair is pretty and i like her different hairstyles but i defs prefer the short spunky look. i wish she wouldve gotten a cool bellmere-esque haircut after the timeskip at least

ok im p sure i didnt read this...? i dont remember hgbvhjaksdfk

GERMA THEME SONG HBVJSDUIFJBSF are you telling me that the raid suit activation process involves a THEME SONG....please i need to hear this. thats so fuckign funny

‘GERMAAAAAAAAAAA’ [sanji doing an unironic magical girl transformation] IT CANT BE OVERSTATED HOW HILARIOUS AND AMAZING THIS IS LMAOOOOOO 

i think we saw this w/his siblings during whole cake but i forget lmao

of course franky and usopp are like OOOH FUCK YEAH 

HHBDSJKFJSB the implications of law knowing Exactly who that is....like i really need to see an omake of a campy power rangers/sentai/whatever-esque show/comic with all these germa personas omfgggggggg

and law having read the comics is SO funny 

also. sanjis hair is SO unfortunate lmaooo

O SOBA MASK HBVHSJDKUFJBDSK

germa was the bad guy group in the comics....good lmao 

law was defs a fan he knows ALL the lore LMAOOO

A BABY SANJI....and then sanji being weird. skip! 

ironic hows theyre like oh shit gotta challenge this dude so he doesnt destroy the town and their fight is gonna level the place anyways lmao 

oh i did read this i think cause i remember all those ninja busting robin for sneaking around

which ok theyre ninja but robin could grow eyes for surveillance so it doesnt make much sense that shed be caught so easily...alas

THAT GUYS HEAD HBVHJFKD LMAO

oh yeah then big mom washes up w/amnesia lmao. i hope that plotline doesnt suck, i dont have too much hope...normally i really like amnesia plotlines and honestly i think itd be cool to explore w/like one of the strawhats but in this case it just seems kinda like a lazy way to take big mom out of the game :/ my prediction is she’ll get her memory back at a certain time thats convenient to the plot, just in time for like an all out war w/kaidou and the straw hats and the yakuza maybe? we shall see (possibly) 

ok its past 6 am so its bedtime. more later! 

[meeedeee]

Vidding Linkspam July 19, 2019

Conventions/Challenges

 Connexions

Multi-Fandom Convention in Maryland is seeking vids for their vid show. Submit your vids by August 1

https://sites.google.com/view/connexions-south/programming/vid-show?authuser=0  

  Fall Equinox 2019 will be a costume party!

Theme will be:  Fictional sources in any format that are set in earlier eras than they were produced/released in -- e.g., costume / period / historical dramas and comedies.   Deadline for Signups:  July 21 - 28  https://equinox-exchange.dreamwidth.org/27045.html  

Convention Vid Show Question

I'm now getting a little worried... would submitting 3 premieres to fanworks con be considered a dick move? I don't wanna take time away from anyone, but I also really wanna show these vids to people.    https://findmeinthealps.dreamwidth.org/7949.html   

 VidUkon Eurovison 2019 Vid Show ....this year's Eurovision show listing showcasing European vidders & source and celebrating the diversity of the European vidding community across all platforms.  

https://amnisias.dreamwidth.org/59043.html

VidUKon 2019 Feedback Notes

It's been a little over a week since VidUKon, so it seems like a good time to post up some of the feedback notes from the final panel of the year and the end-of-con feedback session. First up: panel notes!   https://vidukon-cardiff.dreamwidth.org/39561.html

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MetaVidshow Discussion Post: Be Gay, Do CrimesVidUKon is a vidding convention held in the UK. This year they're trying something new - inviting people to watch one of the vid shows online and then comment.   The vidshow is "Be Gay, Do Crimes "   https://vidukon-cardiff.dreamwidth.org/39913.html

 Vidding Chatter July (vid_bingo)

What is your least favorite thing about vidding as a hobby?  What is your favorite thing?    https://vid-bingo.dreamwidth.org/4373.html

Vidding Chatter  June (vid_bingo)

Have you ever been to a vid or fan-focused convention? Which one? What was your experience like, etc?    https://vid-bingo.dreamwidth.org/3623.html  

 Vidding Chatter  May (vid_bingo)  

Are you a vidding plotter or a pantser?  If you use storyboards, how do you approach them? Are they vague or detailed, handwritten or a google doc?    https://vid-bingo.dreamwidth.org/3441.html  

  Fanvids- Vids that you think of every time you hear the song

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/378261.html?thread=2216111765#cmt2216111765  

 Vid Me Closes (on building our own vidding platform)

This article is about why the site VidMe closed, but provides fascinating insights into the state of things; particularly hilarious TO ME are the "Insights for Newcomers," i.e. what they learned for people who want to try to do this: If you’re considering building your own video platform, here are a few suggestions....  https://cesperanza.dreamwidth.org/594255.html  

 YouTube Vidding Contest Strategy

Vidding strategy is not a thing I usually think about in those terms, but here we are. I entered a youtube vidding contest and the first round was scored and "The Engineer" finished tied for 13th out of 19 entries.   https://seekingferret.dreamwidth.org/307266.html  

 Vids With Dialogue

I hate, hate, hate all these vids with the dialogue left in.   

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/374581.html?thread=2192738613#cmt2192738613  

  VidUKon Vidshow Discussion Post: 2009 Retrospective

This is a new thing we’re trying - we love talking about the vidshows at the con itself, but we think there’s scope for further discussion here on Dreamwidth, where folks who weren’t able to attend the con can get involved too. Anyone who’s interested is welcome to watch the show and join in! We’ll be running these posts roughly once a month, initially featuring shows from VidUKon 2019.  https://vidukon-cardiff.dreamwidth.org/39170.html

 FanVid Recs Thread: Special Request

Nonnies, please give me funny crack vid recs? Any fandom, any ship. I need something to laugh about today.  

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/374457.html?thread=2190469817#cmt2190469817  

 Good Omens FanVid Takedowns

I've never understood how fanvids persist against takedowns at all, especially the popular ones.  

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/374457.html?thread=2189939641#cmt2189939641  

 FFA FanVid Recs Thread

music vids, AMVs, edits, supercuts, mashups, etc. Ask for recs or just drop a link to something you like!  

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/374060.html?thread=2189690924#cmt2189690924    

 Newbie: I'm a newcomer to vidding and wondered if I could have advice to learn the ropes.

If someone could help me learn the ropes that'd be lovely.   https://vidding.dreamwidth.org/395455.html  

 The evolution of #vidding trends be like

2012 - heavy colorings, catchy songs, crossfades, overlayers, texts 

2019 - almost to no coloring, clean cuts, minimal editing, trailer-ish instrumentals 

2020 - no coloring, no editing, no music, just play the damn episode would ya?  

https://twitter.com/anJaaXx/status/1139404158820220928  

 Do you ever have an amazing idea for a vid but lack the confidence to actually make it

cuz you’ve never done something like it before and don’t want to screw it up? Now try having that for like 4 different ideas...so frustrating #Vidding #VidderProblems    https://twitter.com/hollywoodgirl05/status/1137771341635964928    

You know the feeling when start project so inspired and then get to some part of song and you just can't move past it? For weeks... And then start to hate whole song and part of project you already finished. Yeah. #Vidding #Viddingproblems   https://twitter.com/TheMica993/status/1134759868605390848  

 Reading it made me think of lumi_nation and other fellow vidders who see & hear music as movement & color, hear color as music, and so on. There are many of us. We don’t often talk about it outside of con suites and panels, but we exist in our special little universes. #vidding   https://twitter.com/Bonibaru/status/1132780458494910464

 Vidding and/as Pedagogy Vids explore themes related to the source material(s) they remix and rework. In a vid, the juxtaposition of moving images and music, as well as careful sequencing, cutting, and pattern construction, work together to communicate the vidder’s messages.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/324065471_Vidding_andas_Pedagogy   

Vid Society: discord server dedicated to editing/vidding We are a friendly content creator-based community, mainly for video editors (but also for various other artists), with a passion for anything fandom and art related. Join our humble family and feel free to stay as long as you like!  

https://meeedeee.tumblr.com/post/186406012376/discord-server-dediacted-to-editingvidding  

Vidding Styles There is a difference between completely ripping off a style to the point it's just the same video with a different song and taking inspiration, then adding your own spin. While nobody has 'ownership' over a style.... I'm tired of seeing basically the same videos everywhere.  

https://twitter.com/xOurConnections/status/1150547423841771520  

 Current vidding status: 

Vid for which I have clipped that seemed fun: now seems silly and tropey. 

Vid I have most excellent song for is for a show I thought was ok, but for which I'd need to learn new vidding software. 

Vid I've pottered with for years now has corrupted files.  

https://twitter.com/BrokenMnemonic/status/1149750471156015106  

 Your favourite well-made music vid.... I am an old and don't listen to music radio, so in the last twenty years, my main way to discover music less than thirty or forty years old has been through very well-made fan videos. So please rec me yours with the appropriate link 

https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/373194.html?thread=2181417674#cmt2181417674  

  #viddingpetpeeves 

When someone vids ship and uses voiceovers or scenes related to the competing ship on that show. I just always think to myself Bro, that's off-limits" Is this super petty of me. Don't hate me. What are some of your pet peeves, #vidding community  

https://twitter.com/IATFirstGlanceI/status/1146041935074922496  

 VidRecs.com

#vidding friends, for the last couple of weeks I have been exploring (link: http://vidrecs.com) vidrecs.com! (Some of you may remember I mentioned it briefly at #vidukon.) It's very new but it looks as though it could be a really cool resource!  

https://twitter.com/llintrek/status/1144966906690134016    

I just posted my first #fanvid to #Instagram. 

It is an old VCR-era #Titanic vid #Titanicedit #fanedit #vidding (link: https://ift.tt/32FnCPR) instagram.com/p/BzKUNThjCZr/ https://twitter.com/morgandawn6/status/1143897561394110464 

  nothing has demotivated me from vidding more ...

...than youtube and twitter. lost channels on youtube 5 times and twice on here. i know i can unlist, but i don't like doing so. now i'm just waiting for july 27th so my strikes can clear off.

https://twitter.com/RuksarCreation/status/1148686654904983557  

 call me old fashioned but I am really not a fan of the youtube vidding trend..... of putting dialogue over the whole fucking thing. I can deal with a bit here and there but for a 3+ minute song?? I imagine you picked the song for a reason, let me hear the lyrics!!  

https://twitter.com/leanwellback/status/1140679467406376961   

 ...fanvideo styles getting more & more reduced, 

is it even fanvideo editing in some cases anymore....  i guess vidding is living on borrowed time anyway.    https://twitter.com/disasxter/status/1139406005723230208

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 Technical 

VIDDING TECH: WHERE SHOULD I GO FOR HELP?

After a decade as a Mac vidder, I am about to buy my first Windows machine and start vidding on a PC.   https://laurashapiro.dreamwidth.org/382846.html Sharing Your Fanvids To Instagram

 Instagram limits the number of external links you can use in a post. Up until last year, they didn't  support longer vids or links to external websites, preferring to keep the material "in house." If you have a streaming vid on Youtube, Vimeo or your own website, you can still promote it on Instagram    https://morgandawn.dreamwidth.org/1667645.html

Mac Vid Encoding Vids on Mojave

LlamaEnc is not currently compatible with macOS Mojave.  

https://fanworks.dreamwidth.org/10195.html

 Request: Vid Tagging Assistance, Vid Streaming Alternatives  

Requesting assistance in tagging vids using Excel (2013/2016/2019). If you have Office 365 this would be ideal as we can collaborate in real time similar to what you see in those ads for Google docs co-authoring where you see the names of people typing as flags. Additionally, if you have ever wanted to get up to speed with Excel for work or to get work this could be one way of doing so while also watching and tagging vids. I teach Excel as well  

https://vidding.dreamwidth.org/394837.html

 Video Analysis Software

Any idea if any vidders have played with this (or related tools) yet? #fandom #vidding ML-powered automatic video editing app released recently   

https://twitter.com/arnicas/status/1143800870896832512 

  Quick question #vidding community

Is there any other way besides rewatching the source materiel a hundred times to connecting clips to the lyrics? Is there some sort of trick I'm missing?

https://twitter.com/IATFirstGlanceI/status/1139669286581092357  

  Vidding friends, I'm about to make the switch from Mac to PC vidding.My better half is building me a machine. What should I know? How much RAM/what kind of hard drive? Is there a solution for converting iTunes source? (feel free to DM me) Thank you!  

https://twitter.com/killabeezish/status/1145014452552515584   

  comments x-posted to morgandawn | comment there Anonymous commenting enabled or use OpenID to log in to comment.

[theonyxpath]

Of course, Mid-Winter is a lot colder, but inside where the convention is, it’s nice.

Above, is an illustration from They Came From Beneath the Sea! of the sorts of terrors, horrors, and monsters, you face while playing our new game. Right now, its Kickstarter is doing really well for a totally new game, yet we’d love more backers getting a chance to playtest via the Early Access version available to every backer.

And, we’d also love folks to download the backer previews of the actual text and let us know what you think. Feedback now would be super helpful.

Even though it is Storypath-powered game, we’ve added enough extra materials that allow for not only a straight-forward style of playing, but also some pretty hilariously meta sessions as well, and we’d love to hear how those new elements like Quips and Props work around your table.

Although, as Matthew lets us know in the Media-focused part of the Blurbs below, at least one group is mixing They Came From! with their World of Darkness gaming! We had expected a bit of Trinity Continuum or Scion mixing since They Came From! is also a Storypath system game, but it’s cool that folks are diving in with other mash-ups as well.

CtL2e Jumpstart art by Tilen Javornik

In mentioning Mid-Winter, I was, of course, mentioning the convention that all of us from Onyx Path will be attending at the end of the week. We’ll have all of our game lines being played, sometimes with the very folks who wrote and created them, so it’s a rare chance to play with our whole crew.

We’ll also have our Q&A event late Thursday afternoon in the opulent Founder’s Room. You have to sign up, but once you enter that sanctum, we have a bunch of announcements of upcoming projects, some alcohol, and we pretty much do an AMA right there in a far more intimate space than your usual panel/seminar meeting room.

Previous years have been hilarious, and lots of stories were shared. It’s the right sort of way to meet up at a con where we’re already mixing it up with the attendees in games, in the restaurants and bars, and even the hotel lobbies.

Lest you think it’s us that are being all spontaneously open and stuff all by our lonesome, that’s not the case. Mid-Winter has a deliberate openness and friendliness that’s fostered by the whole crew that runs it – so you get a lot of attendees that go every year. I’m personally looking forward to seeing our Mid-Winter friends again this year!

Changeling20th Players Guide art by Drew Tucker

Now, the other part of Mid-Winter is that almost our entire Onyx Path Monday Meeting team will be there in order to have our annual Onyx Path Summit.

The Summit is where we’ll look at what went down in 2018 and look towards how we want 2019 to go. We’ll do some team-building exercises, and we’ll laugh a bit, and probably cry a bit too. It’s a rare chance to get us all together, and it sets the tone and direction for our decisions throughout the year.

Since that’s happening, and we’ll also be announcing new projects at the con, it makes sense that I talk about our plans for 2019 more next week, and so this week I’m going to give you our thoughts about what were the highlights of 2018 – the year that was.

Usually, it’s just our crew doing this, but this year Matthew asked for thoughts from our YouTube viewers, so I’ll be including some of the ones that talk directly about Onyx Path highlights – even though it’s awesome that folks had a great D&D campaign last year or that sort of thing.

Here’s the link for that vid and the comments: https://youtu.be/hgs2PdZyR-s

Here Then, the 2018 Highlights:

From Mighty Matt McElroy: A highlight for me was seeing the community content programs for Pugmire and Scarred Lands expand with new titles and fresh ideas from the fans of those games. I can’t wait to see what people come up with for 2019.

From Dynamic Dixie Cochran: My highlight was coming on full time and immediately doing the (pretty successful) Dragon-Blooded Kickstarter! I’m also excited we started the Pathcast and shipped Changeling: The Lost Second Edition. (I can’t pick one thing!)

From Erlan P on YouTube: Happy holidays The best gaming experience was playing Scion, the Wolfsheim story. The players decided to fight the werewolf to stop the Kindernacht. They fought all the main werewolf character and the Fenrir. The battle was so brutal that at the end of it one character died, two were incapacitated (one even losing a whole arm!) and the only one standing was at -4, just barely moving. It was supposed to be an impossible battle, they should had realized it eventually and ran, but no one gave up, and at the end they were victorious.

From Mirthful Mike Chaney: Dragon-Blooded pdfs going out a little earlier than promised and Lost 2e shipping early. 

From David F on YouTube: Favorite moment tied to gaming in 2018 was watching my wife light up when I told her that her likeness would be used in Geist 2.0 (close tie with Scion for her favorite game).

From Monica Valentinelli: A highlight for me was seeing the D&D community geek out about Scarred Lands, Mau, and Pugmire at GameHole Con. It was fun to nerd out.

From Fast Eddy Webb: Getting Monarchies of Mau into backer hands, and early to boot!

From Drew1749 on YouTube: My favorite gaming experience this year was the Changeling 20th Anniversary game one of my friends ran for us. The premise of the game was fairly simple but was so much fun, we were the guardians of a freehold that existed within a middle school in Ohio. As such the heroes were all given jobs as members of the school’s faculty regardless of qualifications. There were several groups of changelings in the freehold, each with different assignments and responsibilities. Some students were also Changelings and we had to protect the students and freehold in general from outsiders and fae intrusions.

There a lot more to Drew’s comment, and it’s all good stuff so check it out if you can, but I had to keep these to a paragraph. Sorry, Drew.

From Impish Ian Watson: Not to beat a dead horse, but it was great having the Kickstarter for the Trinity Continuum, getting the backer PDFs out, and hearing from so many excited fans about the new books.

From Stray Reaper on YouTube: Best Gaming Experience for 2018 definitely has to be returning to my friend’s kitchen sink Chronicles of Darkness game. I got to finally play around as an Acanthus.

From Brandon S on YouTube: The highlight for me this year has been my World War II Werewolf the Apocalypse 20th game (which I take far too much joy in stylizing as WWIIWW) set behind enemy lines in Arnsberg, Germany mere days before the British dambusters flooded the area.

From Matthew “The Gentleman Gamer” Dawkins: My highlight was Vampire-themed, and could be one of two things. It was either the release (to wide acclaim) of Beckett’s Jyhad Diary, or the excellent writing and successful Kickstarter funding of Chicago by Night for V5. We turned that book around in an efficient manner, and I feel due to the diversity and mixed experience of the writing team, we put together one of the best Vampire sourcebooks ever made.

And finally, from Thiago H: I always like Scion, but got the same problems everyone knows. Crunked system, complicated character creation, the combat system was hard do explain (but I thought it amazing anyway). And then, 2nd edition came. And man, I got really surprised. The system is amazing, character creation is awesome, we have heroism, the players can contribute actively in the narrative, they really weave LEGENDS as the group progresses. I fell deeply in love with everything.

Thiago also has a lot more to say that I couldn’t fit, but well worth reading. Thanks!

Dystopia Rising: Evolution art by Michele Giorgi

Finally here’s a bit of a wrap-up that could count as my highlight of last year, Ian’s year-end review of all the many projects we released last year, as well as a list of all of our Kickstarters. Phew! http://theonyxpath.com/release-retrospective-2018/

Just look at them all, with so much more to come in 2019! Do I have to say it? It’s almost like we proving that Onyx Path has:

Many Worlds, One Path!

BLURBS!

KICKSTARTER:

They Came From Beneath the Sea! (TCFBtS!) funded on Kickstarter in less than 48 hours and we’ve passed through the first couple of Stretch Goals including getting Larry Blamire to illustrate a horizontal scene usable on a screen, two entries for a book of additional soggy Threats, a T-Shirt, an added Adventure Scenario, and we are rising up on the next goal!

TCFBtS! has some very different additions to the Storypath mechanics we’ll be explaining during the KS that take an excellent 50’s action and investigation genre game and turn it to 11! You can see the actual play here:

Check out the teaser:https://youtu.be/kxLydk4t76s

Hope to see you there back in the 50’s, fighting watery menaces and cracking wise!

ONYX PATH MEDIA

Illustration by Michael Gaydos

This Friday’s Onyx Pathcast is coming direct from the Mid Winter Convention, where our three troubadours of terror have a rare opportunity to actually all be in the same room while recording! Plus an equally rare chance to talk with almost everybody from Onyx Path and a huge number of our creators, fans, and random Milwaukeans trying to get in from the cold!

https://onyxpathcast.podbean.com/

And Here’s More Media About Our Worlds:

On our channel Matthew Dawkins is recapping his campaign of Scion that he’s named “Tokyo Noir”. It sounds like a lot of grisly fun and mixes the children of Bishamon, Kissh?ten, and Loki in a murder mystery. Matthew is involving viewers in deciding the direction of the game, so get in early with your suggestions! https://youtu.be/cKpHy3W4Z-E

YouTuber Stuart Armstrong has put together an interesting video on crossing over They Came from Beneath the Sea! with the World of Darkness! Check it out and give his channel a subscription: https://youtu.be/2wBFny9mSng

One of our forumites, Cinder, has started a written recap of their campaign of They Came from Beneath the Sea! It’s in its early stages right now, but you can subscribe to the thread for updates: http://forum.theonyxpath.com/forum/main-category/cavaliers-of-mars-and-pugmire/1278691-explorers-of-the-fathoms-tcfbts-actual-play

The Story Told RPG Podcast interviewed Matthew Dawkins regarding They Came from Beneath the Sea! and his fun, informative interview can be found here for all interested listeners: http://thestorytold.libsyn.com/bonus-episode-4-they-came-from-beneath-the-sea-with-matthew-dawkins

The Twin Cities by Night Crew have a Scion 2nd Edition three part series that will be released this week.

The murder of a Scion of Ra halts the progress of the sun across the sky. In response a group of strangers are unknowingly brought together by their divine heritage to investigate the crime.

ELECTRONIC GAMING:

As we find ways to enable our community to more easily play our games, the Onyx Dice Rolling App is now live! Our dev team has been doing updates since we launched based on the excellent use-case comments by our community, and this thing is both rolling and rocking!

ON AMAZON AND BARNES & NOBLE:

You can now read our fiction from the comfort and convenience of your Kindle (from Amazon) and Nook (from Barnes & Noble).

If you enjoy these or any other of our books, please help us by writing reviews on the site of the sales venue you bought it from. Reviews really, really help us with getting folks interested in our amazing fiction!

Our selection includes these fiction books:

OUR SALES PARTNERS:

We’re working with Studio2 to get Pugmire out into stores, as well as to individuals through their online store. You can pick up the traditionally printed main book, the Screen, and the official Pugmire dice through our friends there! http://bit.ly/2w0aaEW

And we’ve added Prince’s Gambit to our Studio2 catalog: https://studio2publishing.com/products/prince-s-gambit-card-game

Looking for our Deluxe or Prestige Edition books? Try this link! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Onyx-Path-Publishing/

Here’s the link to the press release we put out about how Onyx Path is now selling through Indie Press Revolution: http://theonyxpath.com/press-release-onyx-path-limited-editions-now-available-through-indie-press-revolution/

And you can now order Pugmire: the book, the screen, and the dice! http://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/manufacturers.php?manufacturerid=296

DRIVETHRURPG.COM:

This week, we’re offering PDF and PoD versions of the Changeling: The Dreaming Map of Concordia on DTRPG and in a variety of materials on our RedBubble store!

CONVENTIONS

Start getting ready for our appearance at MidWinter THIS WEEK in January in Milwaukee! So many demos, playtests, secret playtests, and Onyx Path Q&As you could plotz!

And now, the new project status updates!

DEVELOPMENT STATUS FROM FAST EDDY WEBB (projects in bold have changed status since last week):

First Draft (The first phase of a project that is about the work being done by writers, not dev prep)

M20 The Technocracy Reloaded (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

M20 Victorian Mage (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

City of the Towered Tombs (Cavaliers of Mars)

Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition core rulebook (Mummy: The Curse 2nd Edition)

Geist2e Fiction Anthology (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

Pirates of Pugmire (Realms of Pugmire)

Distant Worlds (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dragon-Blooded Novella #1 (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Across the Eight Directions (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Exalted Essay Collection (Exalted)

Legendlore core book (Legendlore)

Creatures of the World Bestiary (Scion 2nd Edition)

Chicago Folio/Dossier (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Let The Streets Run Red (Vampire: The Masquerade 5th Edition)

Kith and Kin (Changeling: The Lost 2e)

Scion: Demigod (Scion 2nd Edition)

Redlines

Deviant: The Renegades (Deviant: The Renegades)Scion Companion: Mysteries of the World (Scion 2nd Edition)

Memento Mori: the GtSE 2e Companion (Geist: The Sin-Eaters 2nd Edition)

C20 Novel: Cup of Dreams (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Second Draft

Tales of Good Dogs – Pugmire Fiction Anthology (Pugmire)

Heirs to the Shogunate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

Scion Ready Made Characters (Scion 2nd Edition)

Witch-Queen of the Shadowed Citadel (Cavaliers of Mars)

Development

Hunter: the Vigil 2e core (Hunter: the Vigil 2nd Edition)

CofD Contagion Chronicle (Chronicles of Darkness)

Lunars: Fangs at the Gate (Exalted 3rd Edition)

WoD Ghost Hunters (World of Darkness)

Oak, Ash, and Thorn: Changeling: The Lost 2nd Companion (Changeling: The Lost 2nd)

CofD Dark Eras 2 (Chronicles of Darkness)

Night Horrors: Nameless and Accursed (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Scion Jumpstart (Scion 2nd Edition)

Manuscript Approval:

Wr20 Book of Oblivion (Wraith: The Oblivion 20th Anniversary Edition)

Trinity Continuum: Aberrant core (Trinity Continuum: Aberrant)

Editing:

Aeon Aexpansion (Trinity Continuum: Aeon)

Dystopia Rising: Evolution (Dystopia Rising: Evolution)

M20 Book of the Fallen (Mage: the Ascension 20th Anniversary Edition)

In Media Res (Trinity Continuum: Core)

Tales of Excellent Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

V5 Chicago By Night (Vampire: The Masquerade)

V5 Chicago By Night Screen (Vampire: The Masquerade)

Spilled Blood (Vampire: The Requiem 2nd Edition)

Post-Editing Development:

C20 Players’ Guide (Changeling: the Dreaming 20th Anniversary Edition)

Signs of Sorcery (Mage: the Awakening Second Edition)

Night Horrors: Shunned by the Moon (Werewolf: The Forsaken 2nd Edition)

Adventures for Curious Cats (Monarchies of Mau)

Indexing:

Scion Origin (Scion Second Edition)

Scion Hero (Scion Second Edition)

ART DIRECTION FROM MIRTHFUL MIKE:

In Art Direction

Dystopia Rising: Evolution – Bunch of art out for approvals.

The Realm – Contracted.

Ex3 Monthly Stuff –

Chicago By Night – Contracting next bits.

C20 Player’s Guide – More art coming in and going to WW for approval.

Aeon Aexpansion – Going over the notes.

They Came From Beneath the Sea! – KS rolling.

EX3 Lunars – Most KS finals are in.

Signs of Sorcery – One more piece and then over to layout.

In Media Res – Contracted.

Hunter: The Vigil 2 – KS art in progress.

Shunned By the Moon – Got the notes, contacting artists.

Book of Oblivion

Marketing Stuff

In Layout

Geist 2e

Proofing

Scion Hero – Indexing.

Scion Origin – Indexing.

M20: Gods and Monsters

Pugmire Roll of Good Dogs and Cats

Trinity Core – Gathering errata.

Trinity Aeon – Gathering errata.

Ex3 Dragon Blooded – Sending errata to devs.

CtL2e Condition Cards

Ex Novel 2 (Aaron Rosenberg)

At Press

Wraith 20th – New cover proof approved. Everything else is printing.

Wraith 20 Screen – Printed.

Scion Dice – At Studio2.

Lost 2e Screen – At Studio2, shipping with books to KS backers.

Scion Screen – At Studio2.

Changeling: The Lost 2e – PoD proof coming.

CtL2 Jumpstart – PoD processing.

Fetch Quest – Manufacturing finishing.

TODAY’S REASON TO CELEBRATE: 

After much brouhaha, my granddaughter Natalia came into this world yelling loudly on Jan. 2nd. Yelling loudly being a pretty typical method for dealing with the world in our family.

[nobodysuspectsthebutterfly]

Gosh, I never did post my con report for Ice and Fire Con, did I? Well, 3 weeks past, but hopefully not too late...

4/26, Thursday evening: Arrived in Columbus airport. While packing my big-ass suitcase for the con Wednesday night Thursday morning, I realized my white makeup had somehow disappeared, but I looked up a Party City in a Columbus suburb that had some. (Didn’t have time to go shopping on my way to the Chicago airport.) So, having figured that I could rent a car for the whole weekend for less than the price of a Lyft from the airport to the lodge, I did so, found that shop, bought that makeup, and had a lovely drive to Deer Creek State Park. Approaching the park, I found the name was very accurate, as a deer was crossing the road on the way there, in a very stupid way. “Should I jump the fence? Or go back in the road and wander everywhere? Durhurhur!” Finally he got a clue and I moved on, only for another car to zoom around me like I was standing still. That’s how you get deer through your windshield, son.

But anyway, got to Deer Creek Lodge by 9ish, got my room and registered and all, and started seeing people I’d met last year. Chloe (@liesandarbor) and Emmett (@poorquentyn) and Wendy (@wendynerdwrites) and Jim (@warsofasoiaf) and all, as well as others who I don’t think have tumblrs (or I don’t know them) but are excellent folk. And I heard there was an unofficial party that night, thrown at the cabin of the Chicago boys (who I don’t know actually), same as last year, so I headed down that way. This year the party was in support of one of their fellows who’s getting married, a Stag and Doe party, with raffle tickets and games, so it was extra fun, besides the drinking and all. :)

Picked up a raffle package that included a blue rose flower crown, and had a moment when I met Tara (@ageeksaga) and she thought I was Wendy, lol. I was like, nope, sorry, I’m the other short brunette Jewish fandom fave from tumblr who’s dating a guy named Jim. (And who sometimes wears blue rose flower crowns.) She was tired, it’s hard getting this con ready, I didn’t blame her at all, but lol. :)  Also at the party was Michael (@1000eyesandone) and his wife Adrienne, who are awesome people who I met at last year’s con, and ended up hanging around a lot with this year. Anyway, after a night of drinks and meeting people and drinking and chatting and drinking and games and drinking and winning tickets and putting them in the raffle prize choices (there were many cool prizes but only a few that I really wanted so I put most of my tickets in those), they had the raffle, about 1am I think, and I won a prize! Woo, chocolate and popcorn and bath bombs and other relaxing things. And then I was tired so walked back to the lodge with a bunch of other people, did a tiny tumblr update, and collapsed into bed.

4/27, Friday: The con officially opened today, and I got up late but made it to the second half of the ice breaker opening thing. They had the bingo where you’re supposed to find people who meet the qualifications for the bingo square (newbie to @iceandfirecon, newbie to cons in general, prefer direwolves to dragons or vice versa, have a particular fave house, are a shipper - I volunteered a lot for that one, and so on), and also that game where you have a name on your forehead and you have to guess who it is (I was Janos Slynt, joy), and I met some very neat people. Then I went down by the lake (or creek, I guess?) for my picture with a wolf! And here, some more pictures:

Logan is such a good boy. :)

Caught lunch with Wendy and Jim and Michael and Adrienne, then I went to the Q&A panel given by the Ironwood Wolves people, where they talked about the education work they do with their ambassador wolves, and what wolf behavior is like, and all that interesting stuff (watch the video, there’s a sweet sleepy wolf in it). Got some pictures of the lake, went to the History of Westeros meetup for a bit (I have a processing thing with podcasts so I can’t listen to them, but Ashaya and Aziz are the most excellent people), and soon it was time for the @asoiafuniversity meetup panel with me and Emmett.

Alas, we were up against Quiplash in the big conference room, and I don’t think the schedule was that clear unfortunately, so we didn’t have many people showing. (Unlike last year where we got a pretty good crowd!) But for those who did come, we explained what we do, and discussed some meta topics, and it was really nice. Then I caught the end of Quiplash, which is kind of a Cards Against Humanity -type online party game where you write the answers and the audience votes... well, it’s fun, and I got to be in the last answer panel, and even had an answer some people liked. :)

Went over to the vendor room and saw so many gorgeous things, ASOIAF art and statuettes and cloaks and such, but the only thing I bought was butterfly fairy wing earrings. (Which I think takes my number of butterfly earrings up to... 10 maybe? I have a lot.) Then as it was starting to get dark I went back to my room and got ready for Shabbos (had the room key situation arranged with the hotel staff, since my Jim wasn’t at the con), and then... it was time for IaFcon’s first musical!

Inspired by the awesome performance of Tara and Brian last year in D&D’s “You’re Welcome”, this year the crew put on WESTEROS, a tribute/parody of Hamilton. And oh my gosh it was sooo good. You should watch it, honest. (@draganchitsa, I spent half the time thinking of you.) Of course the costumes and casting were excellent, and there were some truly fantastic lines, all telling the KL story from the start of AGOT to the Battle of the Blackwater... Including one last song for the shippers among us, heehee, oh gosh I was covering my face and blushing the whole time. :) :) :)

Then dinner with Wendy and Jim and Emmett, then back to the con room for karaoke. :D  As it was Shabbos I didn’t perform myself (didn’t want to deal with not using the mic and stuff), but I sang along with everybody, including when Michael did Head Like a Hole to the music of Call Me Maybe, which was hilarious. ;) That ended about midnight, and I headed back for sleep, as big day Saturday... or should I call it... Weirwood Day!

4/28, Saturday: Got up early(-ish) to get my weirwood tree costume ready. :) My makeup, since I’m not that often a cosplayer (like almost never), took a while (took forever, didn’t get to two panels I wanted to see, thankfully they’re on youtube now), and I had a panel I was actually on at 1pm and I still hadn’t put the bloody tears on at almost 12:30... So I dressed up and wigged up and leafed up, and headed out, got stopped on the way for a picture, got to the panel just a wee bit late... but still, it was an excellent panel, all about the animal symbolism in ASOIAF, lots of discussion of direwolves and how they interrelate to the Stark kids; as well as other houses, dragons, lions, krakens, bears, birds, trout... all that sort of thing. The panel’s up here on youtube if you want to see me as a white-and-red dorkus talking about direwolves. :)

Then there was the tourney, outside, which looked awesome, but it was coooold out and I still wasn’t quite done with my costume, so I went back to my room and had lunch and got finished up (occasionally glancing out the window since my lodge room had a tiny corner of a view of the tourney field), and finally... finally I was ready. :D 

Headed toward the con rooms with a big backpack full of art books for my panel (that was going to be after the costume parade, and I so didn’t want to go back and forth), as well as my bag full of ravens. :D   On the way, had a selfie with Ashaya (@buskerlenny), who had an excellent Danelle Lothston costume. Made it in time to catch the end of Emmett and Silas’s panel on Lovecraft Mythos and ASOIAF, listening while I checked that my leaves and ravens were all arranged properly. (Next time safety pins maybe?) And soon other cosplayers started coming in, including the lovely older lady who was such a perfect Old Nan last year -- this year she was the Ghost of High Heart, with a weirwood-print dress, and she was delighted to see me. :D  She had a photo taken with her sitting and me standing (as a tree) behind her, which I haven’t seen but hope shows up one of these days, it should be so neat.

And then the costume parade! So many amazing costumes, so much fun. While we were waiting to line up, I actually started tearing up (because of my contacts, eyeliner, mascara, god knows), but consensus among those who looked at me that it really didn’t hurt my makeup much and really fit the crying-tree look? so hey. :)  Last year in the parade people stopped to do performances, but this year they separated out the performances till after the parade (and the voting only for that), so it moved pretty quickly. But I got a lot of applause for my weirwood, especially when I lifted up my “branches” with the ravens on them. And I heard someone say that if they had been doing voting, I probably would have won, which is really really nice. :D :D :D

Then I sat down for the performances, and oh my gosh. There was a Rohanne vs. Dunk rap battle (with shoutout to Jaime/Brienne lol), a Brienne vs bear fight (set to the Bear and the Maiden Fair of course), Chloe did a parody of Free Fallin’ (with Lyanna and Ashara themes *wince*), and there was Michael as Tom O’Sevens singing Edmure’s Floppy Fish song that had everybody lol’ing... but the room went dead quiet in awe for Septon Meribald’s Broken Man speech. Damn. (And yeah, I cried some more.)

Group photo time!

All these amazing people. :) I’m kind of easy to find, though, lol.

And then there was my and Ashaya’s panel on the history of ASOIAF fanart, also with artists @sanrixian and @palewhiterabbit. It went really well, I think, lots of cool info... I brought my Art of Ice and Fire books, the D&E graphic novels, and some @kallielef and bubug prints (also one of @chaouenmadrid’s sansan books), Ashaya had Draw ‘Em With the Pointy End and another art book... but alas, we were up against the trivia contest in the big conference room, so again not that much of a crowd. (Someone asked me if I was cross-scheduled because Emmett and Wendy and I won trivia last year, idk lol, other people won too.) But anyway, the people who were there for the panel seemed to like it a lot -- not sure if it was filmed, but if it was I’ll put up the video eventually. Or maybe I could write down my mental notes, if you like.

Afterwards, I headed back to my room for dinner, and when Shabbos was over I took a few selfies (including some duckfaces for Kelly Sue DeConnick, whose costume inspired mine), and then washed up. Because party time!

(me and Wendy, at the party - I’m wearing little bird earrings and this tshirt)

I have few mental notes for the Flea Bottom Fete, alas. Just that it was a hell of a lot of fun, tons of great music (having a convo in the hallway, “oh wait this is my song, gotta dance”), people’s party cosplays were hilarious -- I recall Michael’s punk Bloodraven, there was a group of sexy Greyjoys, Tara had party Cersei, a bunch of girls came with a Qarth dress theme, and of course there was stripper RobbWind... and, well, there was a bar. :)  (And also someone brought macarons, nom nom nom.)

4/29, Sunday: I had to check out by noon. I had a panel to give at noon. I managed to get packed up, check out, put my suitcase in the car, and make it on time for this panel, coffee’d up and everything. I consider that a grand success. And then in the very excellent panel (on GRRM’s many other works, with me and Aziz and Amin Javadi and one of the con volunteers I didn’t catch his name augh), I managed to actually sell a few people on reading Wild Cards, I think. Truly a success. :D  And then the closing ceremonies were lovely -- and the wolf puppy from the photos that were taken Sunday even came, oh my gosh he was so cute... but sigh, alas the con was over for me.

I’d left a note on the Facebook group that I’d rented a car and could take up to 3 people back to the airport for an afternoon flight, and a few girls had contacted me that morning to take me up on the offer. So that was a nice trip. :) Returned the rental easy, caught my short flight easy, and was back in Chicago by Sunday evening to watch Avengers and get dinner with my @jimintomystery. A lovely weekend, full of ASOIAF and friends and fun, I truly hope to do it again next year!

(goddamn, this is long. no wonder I never properly wrote up last year’s con report...)

[cheerandcosplay]

Gift Card Apps Masterpost

Thanks to my student loans’ tight grip on my balls, I’m basically always desperate for cash. I take it upon myself to test out all those apps that promise gift cards in exchange for surveys or testing games. Like, all of them. This is the list of all the legitimate ones that I keep on my phone. I have included my referral codes because using one often, but not always, gets you a bonus. Please use it anyways. I went through the trouble of making this damned post (twice. fucking tumblr.) Note I’m not covering yard sale or photo selling apps. These are the apps where you watch ads or play games, do small tasks in exchange for points which can be redeemed for gift cards.

Swagbucks 

This is one of the biggest ones. I’ve been using this one on and off since high school. Their surveys pay pretty well and it’s pretty easy to leave the watch ads section open while working on homework or sleeping. If you get the desktop extension and do some online shopping, you can almost always get points back. They just added Disneyland Resort (no Disney World...yet) passes to their rewards and I am high-key freaking out despite the fact I am across the entire continent from Disneyland and can’t afford a bus trip downtown, let alone a plane to California. Ah but wait other rewards include gift cards for Southwest, Delta, and American Airlines. Welp I won’t be leaving this site until I can cash out for that.

Feature Points 

This is one I’ve also been using for a good four or five years. It’s pretty straight forward; step 1 download an app, step 2 play for two minutes or reach a certain level, step 3 profit. I find that if I make a lot of points one day, the next couple days the offers don’t go through or there won’t be any offers for a few days. Still, it’s the app I’ve cashed out the most from.

Slidejoy

This one is great because you don’t have to do anything. They do offer surveys and scratch cards to help you get points quicker but the main thing for this app is they put an advertisement on your lockscreen. They pay you for adding one extra swipe to opening your phone. I can milk a $5 gift card out of this one every 2~3 months. About by the time you remember it exists on your phone you can get another gift card. 

S’more

This is the same deal. I’ve had it for a month and I have $3.5 racked up already. Admittedly, having both Slidejoy and S’more on means it takes a few seconds to getting into my phone as they can slow each other’s loading down but hey I’d do a lot worse for Amazon gift cards I need a new camera

Shopkick

This one is my favorite. When you go in a store, they give you a list of products that you have to find and scan. It never fails to annoy whoever I’m shopping with but I think the scavenger hunt is fun. Some of the products give you bonus points if you buy them and scan the receipt and some stores give you points for simply walking inside. 

Panel

Remember earlier when I was like ‘hey you don’t have to do anything with this app’ but I was lying and you have to add an entire extra step to opening your phone? Okay this app is literally zero work. Every now and then they’ll ask if you want to answer a couple questions to help them adjust their gps I think (like, they point to a spot on a map and ask exactly which store you were in) but that’s optional. It is a slow burn, I think I had to restart when I got a new phone last Sept, and I’m projecting to cash out for the first time early next year. It takes forever to get points but I’m getting a $25 gift card for doing nothing more than owning a phone with an app on it.

Pay Your Selfie

Anyone that knows me knows I am obsessed with snapchat. I betchya all of the traffic from this post is going to be from my snap mutals (on the off chance that other people actually read this, heyo my snap is the same as my url follow me i’m hilarious). This app pays you to take selfies, as little as $.20 and as much as $1. The all have a theme and usually ask you to show brands (eg, national taco day, take a selfie eating a taco; oral hygiene awareness, show off your favorite toothpaste; photo of your fall traditions). It’s great. 

Lucktastic

Lucktastic is all scratchy cards. They cost one advertisement to play and payout a minimum of one point, but these are actual lotto cards and have a supposed chance to win actual cash. Can be tedious if you don’t like scratch cards but it’s cheaper than going to the drugs store and you still win something. The weirdest thing about it is their points don’t have a direct cash value? Some $10 gift cards are worth 40k points but some $25 cards cost 25k points? I don’t get it but I think it’s fun anyways.

Achievement (no referral, also i s2g it used to be achievemint???)

This app pays you to be healthy. It connects to a ton of different health apps and gives you points for doing good things. For example, I have a galaxy s-whatever which comes with Samsung Health which auto tracks my steps and my sleep. I also have Under Armor’s calorie counter app because hey just cos i’m thin doesn’t mean i wasn’t raised to not obsess over my weight itsnt being a female the best thing ever? So I connected both of these to Achievement. I get points often for walking to work (because i’m too poor to take the bus) and drinking water (because everything has caffeineeeeeeeee). I get points every now and then for getting a good night’s sleep and logging healthy meals (because let’s be real I’m pretty bad at doing those things.) Someday I’ll be able to afford to go to the gym again but for now Achievement’s ads make a good point: your smart phone already counts your steps. Why not get paid for them?

 Honorable Mentions:

Pact

Er, this app might have been shut down? It was a good concept that didn’t work for me personally. 

Lifetap

This app was great! I got $10 in a week! And in the month since....about $.07. It could be my is buggy or I missed a patch or something but they just won’t give me offers anymore. I do recommend it to get the first $10 but after that it’s up to you whether it’s worth it to keep it around or not

[m1ckeyb3rry]

OMG stay safe and I hope ur power comes back soon!!!

No fr opposite extremes of the spectrum LOL and LMAOAOAOA MADDIE??? I SEE HER CONTENT ALL THE TIME HAHAHAHA she’s so hilarious she’s in the bllk TRENCHES (her idea of going to make bllk themed yogurt was kinda funny and interesting tho ngl) I saw her “hear me out” video and I unfortunately lost my ears so um! I almost lost it laughing though when she got baited by a fake panel and was telling op to sleep with one eye open LMAOOO

NOO IMAGINE SHIDOU’S STRAIGHT IN THE WOMB??? Would be filing for harassment because HUH like fr between bros it’s just a weird little bro lingo communication thing but um

The canon content of some of them (Otoya and imamura) getting so desperate they go to Chigiri has me wilding like???? Bro get a grip SHSGSHS also the fact that they actually put jokes like that in canon

It’s so funny to me though none of my absolute favs are on the Ubers team but I like their team dynamic the most??? Like they’re fr the only team with like..communication skills and functioning member interrelations I love the Ubers family

Also WHAT IS IT REALLY?? I mean I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because Barou is ripped (I always find it funny that him and Kunigami who are both from Akita are like the two buffest dudes minus Tokimitsu maybe but he’s missing the aura LMAO) and Isagi is typically described as mediocre normal so

Oh yeah…the “I can fix them mentality”…lol…no I get what you mean that they make a womanizer version of them and revert them back to original and that somehow works better to them because their non-womanizing self actually exists but TOJI OF BLLK STOP THATS SO REAL it’s over when we get the cops and robbers and rock hard lines (speaking of I wonder how much of Shidou’s lines they’ll censor…? Because I’m of my friends there’s a couple that aren’t as in tune to the anime/shounen dude language and sometimes questionable phrases so im lowk stressing but er)

LMAO yeah it’s so confusing I lowk just go by the normal like…year convention? Like if you’re born in April you’re older than someone born in November if it’s said you’re in the same school year but I have no idea if that’s right…

Babysitter Karasu so true the only one he can talk to normally is Loki but even Loki wouldn’t intervene much I feel LMAO Karasu carrying PXG in more than one setting (Shidou is def the irresponsible older brother who probs puts you in a headlock to ruffle your hair and hypes you up to do things regardless of how safe it is LMAO)

No literally how epinagi and the LN released like days after we discussed it like?? Maybe now’s the time to sneak in all of our tabieitaken ideas and manifest them into reality LMFAO it’s time for us to wait for the next LN announcement if Otoya and Karasu show up you KNOW it’s real

I lost my mind like rich boy Karasu with two dogs and a cheating dad??? Then he said sike and I fr felt like Hiori in that moment like wdym you made that up??? I feel like that gives us a bit of crumbs (like one tiny morsel) of more of the Karasu respect agenda like he was on his (hypothetical) mom’s side on that one!! But anyways I could see Karasu being a rich boy…

HAHAH SAME WAVELENGTH FRR o7

He def thinks birds of prey are the coolest fs…just a teenage boy with a bird nerd side

-Karasu anon

THANK YOUUU we are at my cousin’s house atm so luckily chilling 🤞🏻 still no power at my place unfortunately 😭💔 but hopefully tomorrow!!

YES MADDIE omg i see her all of the time she’s so funny like truly the face of the bllk fandom 😭 omg no because lowkey i think lorenzo is cute in like the way a rlly hideous dog is?? he’s not attractive to me at all but i feel such strong pity for him and his ugliness that i find him oddly adorable 😦 idk he seems relaxed too his dynamic w barou is hilarious…but i agree i fear i cannot hear her out this time

no because the unholy trinity of shidou + aiku + karasu and the bullshit they say would lowkey be my final straw DKSKSJ “here comes the dopamine” + “i’m going to put you on a leash” + “it’s so lewd how you got into that tight opening” all in one match…i’m joining chigiri in the witness protection program atp HAHAHA

the ubers are the only team that feels like a team HAHA like mc is a soap opera atm, bm is straight up war constantly, pxg is a bunch of dumbasses + karasu, and barcha is bachira otoya and some randoms 😭 and YES it’s almost the same length it’s crazy!! part of it too is barou is super tall and isagi is short for bllk (still way taller than me though 💔) and probably also the angle it was drawn at might’ve exacerbated it a bit but either way 👹 barou is the epitome of scary dog privileges bro you could go anywhere if you had that man w you 😩 also kunigami HELP that one panel of him squatting in the gym during bm why are his legs ENORMOUS?? he takes jacked to another level and it doesn’t help that he’s generally shown next to chigiri who’s on the slender side for bllk

exactly!! like it doesn’t feel as odd to show isagi or nagi being sweet and eventually treating a girl well even if you originally make them mean whereas otoya or aiku have 0 evidence proving that they are even fixable in the first place so people just steer clear HAHAH (not me though…me and otoya are locked in 🥱 going to write him in ways the world has never seen before). BUT NO AIKU IS SO TOJI CODED IDEK WHYYYY their voices are lowkey similar too…honestly i hope they don’t censor shidou because him being a freak is so integral to his character LMAOAOA although i’m only saying that because i know p much no one who watches bllk irl 😔💔

karasu and shidou being older than loki is so funny to me 😭 they’re better than me fr…if some french guy a year younger than me came and started bossing me around i’d throw a fit!! PLS karasu is the kind of person who’d yell at you if you do smth remotely dangerous whereas shidou would tell you to do a flip while you’re at it 😟 but at least you will always have a fan in shidou LMAOO no matter what he will be your biggest supporter (for better or worse)

THE NEXT LIGHT NOVELS BETTER BE SHIDOU KARASU AND OTOYA i need to know what kind of weird ass past shidou had that made him turn out like this…although i feel like they might not just because atm we know next to nothing abt him and maybe they want to keep him mysterious and have his backstory be like a big reveal?? if not shidou i’d be happy w like nanase or smth (perhaps aiku??).

NO LITERALLY i was like wait he’s rich…and has dogs…and supports his mother…MARRIAGE 🤩🤩🤩🤩 and then i was so betrayed when he revealed he was fucking around for no reason 😒 okay lowkey though i know that man has to be somewhat well off because why else would he be so into index funds and stock management and whatnot like that is the most upper class bullshit i can think of HAHAHAH him canonically being a finance bro is so heartbreaking 😰 karasu pls you’re better than this 🤧 jkjk he’s just trying to ensure he keeps the bag secured no matter what i have to respect it

okay wait this isn’t related to anything you said but i was reminded of this panel while scrolling tik tok and felt like i had to share

nothing to elaborate on here LMAOO just like…he’s so majestic fr (although why is he standing like that LMAOAOA)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 019: Hey Google, Play “You Say Run”

Previously on BnHA: All Might plus ultraed a bunch of thugs but then the three Big Bads converged on him and nearly ripped him apart. Deku ran back to try to save him and nearly got his own self killed. Then Bakugou fucking Katsuki, Todoroki motherfucking Whatever His First Name Is, and Kirishima goddamn Same Deal as Todoroki showed up at the last fucking second to save the day.

Today on BnHA: Todoroki is a beast. Bakugou nearly gives me a heart attack. All Might is hurt and almost out of time and in no condition to be fighting the enemy. All Might fights the enemy anyway. All Might fucking demolishes the enemy, and sacrifices damn near everything to do it, and it’s the single most badass thing I’ve ever seen in my fucking life.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 31 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

oh damn, Todoroki is so maddeningly excellent at life that he can control his quirk to the extent that he stopped just short of freezing All Might in addition to Noumu

mighty fine job there, Elsa

OH THANK GOD All Might took advantage of that to loosen Noumu’s grip and now he’s hopping out of there

but he’s still fucking hurt! the guy was fucking clawing at his old injury, and even before that happened he was already close to his limit. I really don’t like this at all

now everyone is just staring at Facepalm. like, fuck you, dude

“WE DON’T LIKE YOU”

Bakugou still has his hand on Kurogiri’s neck. just blow him the fuck up already. of course you pick now of all fucking times to go all lawful fucking heroic

Noumu’s just sitting there in Kuro’s void all

his expression literally has not changed once since his first appearance, but it’s amazing how all it takes is the right context, and just like that it becomes hilarious

“you’ve pinned down our way out” yes he has! but for whatever reason, he’s not going for a killing or even a disabling blow! and it’s making me fucking anxious!!

and now Bakugou is monologuing like fucking Peter Pan hlkhsakdh. “OH THE CLEVERNESS OF ME”

listen Baku, that’s great that you’ve figured all of that out and all, but I’m serious now, you had better blast this guy sometime today or this is all about to get extremely fucking dire again

now he’s recalling when he first tried to attack Kurogiri at the outset of the surprise attack, back when he nearly blasted him and Kuro was like “that was close.” except that as far as Bakugou’s concerned, he might as well have said “BOY THAT WAS CLOSE, IT SURE IS GOOD THAT HE DIDN’T HIT MY WEAK SPOT RIGHT OVER HERE.” apparently

it is pretty clever tbh but omg I just want him to stop dragging this out already. my heart can’t take

he’s telling Kuro that he’ll blow him up if he decides he’s doing anything fishy. I’m sure that’s going to pan out

seriously Bakugou, it’s football season now in the U.S. and I just watched the Packers come back from a 20-0 deficit, after their quarterback fucking died in the first half but was then somehow resurrected. I’m just not in a mood to underestimate anyone right at this moment, least of all a bunch of shounen villains whom the author has clearly invested a great deal of time and thought into, and who are thus quite unlikely to just die here a mere 8 chapters after their introduction

ughhh

Facepalm is acting entirely too calm for the heroes to not be on their fucking guard right now

aaaaaand now he’s telling Noumu to “take out the explosive brat”! :’D

haha! bitch if you fucking try anything I will go out and buy like 50 mouse traps and wait until you’re sleeping and then stick those things all over all fourteen of your creepy superfluous possessed fucking hands

so now Noumu is hauling his ass back out of the portal... and his arm and leg are literally crumbling, WOW

son of a bitch I’m glad Todoroki’s on our side

Deku and All Might are watching this and wondering what exactly Noumu even is, which is quite a reasonable thing to be asking yourself at this point

oh, great. apparently he has hyper regeneration too and can regrow his limbs and repair all of his injuries in an instant! so that’s just fucking great

does Todoroki have a limit to his ice powers? we don’t know of one yet, at least. hey bud, can you just. freeze him again real quick there

or if you really want to be a dear, maybe try freezing Facepalm since he’s clearly the ringleader in all of this??

now All Might is heroically leaping into the fray once more

and now it occurs to me that Bakugou and Todoroki (and Kiri) may in fact be acting so frustratingly complacent because they, unlike Deku, aren’t aware of just how close All Might is to his limit, and just how fucked they’ll be if that actually happens. as far as they know, All Might doesn’t have a limit. he’s fucking All Might. why would he?!

so in fact I can’t blame them, because they’re not aware of just how close to the knife’s edge they’re actually walking right now

nnnnnnnnngh something is happening with Bakugou, something or someone is approaching him and it’s probably Noumu!! 8|!!! I’ll have to scroll down in order to see but I’m worriiiied sob

[peeks through hands]

um. what the hell just happened

it looked like something was disintegrating for a second there in that FWSH panel but other than that? I got nothing

(ETA: I’ve read this chapter like 4 times and I still don’t know what was going on in that panel, honestly. everything else is pretty clear now though)

whatever it was, it was too fast for any of the kids to follow. even Kacchan has no idea how the hell he suddenly got where he is

I personally have a guess

MY GUESS IS CONFIRMED

ALL MIGHT IS SO FUCKING GLORIOUS. THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY SON’S LIFE!! PLEASE MARRY ME!!

now Facepalm is sarcastically praising him, as villains do

this is the second time he’s mentioned something like this now. I’m starting to get the feeling it has something to do with whatever his motivation/backstory is. you know, what with this being the first arc with bad guys, as of yet I have no idea what BnHA’s Villain Redemption Policy is. but I have to say, I can’t see myself ever liking this nutjob. so he’d better not try to pull any Vegeta/Byakuya/Itachi/Mukuro type of shit, that’s all I can say

and now he’s ranting about how it’s ~not fair~ because when bad guys do bad guy stuff violently, it’s bad, but when good guys do good stuff violently, it’s fine!

there are so many logical holes in this argument!! but!! it’s also one of the themes I was lowkey hoping the series would explore, and it looks like maybe it will, so this is pretty exciting!

but his argument here is just so fucking wrong, though. like dude, you really can’t see how All Might’s “violence” is just a little bit different from you and your friends’, Mr. “LET’S KILL SOME CHILDREN HAHAHA”?

lol now All Might’s calling him out on his bullshit and basically saying that he knows full well this psycho isn’t a Mukuro-type. I fucking love this

and now these four boy scouts are feeling empowered

I LIKE THEIR FIGHTING SPIRIT. THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT THE “WITH ALL MIGHT SUPPORTING US” PART IS SECRETLY FLAWED!!

and now All Might’s telling them to get out of there because he knows, sob

jesus christ Deku are you seriously pointing out all of All Might’s weaknesses right now in front of the fucking enemy

I get that he’s worried about him but dude!! some discretion, you know???

thankfully All Might cuts him off, but the damage is probably already done

Facepalm is now instructing Noumu and Kurogiri to go after All Might and says that he’ll handle the kids 8/

hey so Todoroki, maybe now you might want to try freezing this dude’s ass?? like what are you waiting for though??

fuck me, All Might has “barely a minute left” now. this had better be like one of those Dragonball Z minutes that’s actually 15 episodes long. or else we’re really in a bind

and now he seems to be powering up to do something...

oh my god

okay, can I just say, I’ve seen a LOT of anime eyes in my day. magical eyes, cursed eyes, eyes in all shapes and styles and every last color of the rainbow. but All Might just may have the coolest fucking eyes I’ve ever seen

and I’ve actually thought this ever since we first saw them in his Skinny Steve form. there’s just something so cool about the black eyes with blue irises combo. it doesn’t look like any other character I can think of, and it just works for him. I’m unfortunately at a complete loss for how to explain just why I like it so much, because I always read these chapters so late, and my brain’s not up to the task. but anyway! the point is that he’s awesome and this closeup is crazy intense and is giving me life right now

even everyone else watching is just blown the fuck away by the sheer badassery he’s suddenly radiating at this moment. THE SYMBOL OF PEACE IS ABOUT TO FUCK SOMEONE UPPPPPPPPPP

HE’S PUNCHING NOUMU AND HE DOESN’T SEEM TO BE CONCERNED AT ALL ABOUT THE SHOCK ABSORPTION, AS THOUGH HE HAS SOME SORT OF PLAN NOW

OH WOW

HE’S LITERALLY JUST PUMMELING THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM

WELL MORE LIKE THEY’RE PUMMELING EACH OTHER I GUESS

WOW. GOTTA SAY, THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST SHOUNEN THINGS I’VE EVER WITNESSED

ohh SHIT, All Might says that since it’s “absorption” and not “negation”, it implies that he must have a limit

and now he’s basically saying “oh, you built this thing to be badder than me? well then in that case I’ll just have to be EVEN BADDER”

ALL MIGHT IS FUCKING CRANKING IT UP TO ELEVEN AND IT IS GLORIOUS

BUT HE’S ALSO DYING STILL

DON’T DIE ALL MIGHT

A HERO’S ALWAYS READY TO SMASH THROUGH TROUBLE OH MY GOD

HE IS LIKE THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF SHOUNEN

OH MY GOD NOW HE’S SAYING THE THING

THE NONSENSICAL THING THAT I’VE BEEN KIND OF ROLLING MY EYES AT THIS ENTIRE TIME BECAUSE IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE

AND TO BE HONEST IT STILL DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE

BUT...

...I THINK ALL MIGHT MAY BE STARTING TO WIN ME OVER ON THIS ONE

my GOD that was satisfying to see

(ETA: you guys. YOU GUYS. I watched this scene like a half a dozen times in the anime. it. was. so. cool. like honest to god one of the single coolest and most badass things I’ve ever fucking seen.

so what I didn’t realize is that BnHA is one of those newfangled anime that actually runs in seasons, instead of starting one day and then just never stopping ever again. I have seen so many good series brought to their knees by attempting the latter. it drains the budget, necessitates all kinds of obnoxious and pointless filler, and ends up forcing things to be unbearably dragged out. but by condensing BnHA’s first two arcs into one 13-episode season, the anime sidestepped all of these pitfalls entirely. the animation has been gorgeous, and they only animated what was in the actual canon! no fucking filler omg.

and the soundtrack. GUYS. I had no idea the OST was going to be this fucking good. and just, when it gets to this scene, and the production values just jump up ALL THE NOTCHES, and the music starts to swell, and All Might is being so cool and THROWING ALL THE PUNCHES, and the fucking SKY is getting dark for no reason at all except that EVEN THE SKY IS INTIMIDATED BY HOW BADASS HE IS, and there are all these wind effects and camera angles and I’m losing my mind, and then ALL MIGHT SAYS. THE. THING!!! and then KAPOOOOOW

just. it fucking floored me. like I wanted to cry almost. my adrenaline was so ramped up I was practically ready to do backflips. that shit made me want to go out and save the world.

I fucking understand plus ultra after that, man. I get it now. it’s like my third eye has been fucking opened. universe tell me your secrets. oh my god)

the kids are staring in shock

there is literally smoke clearing. from the flurry of punches. they were punching so furiously that somehow there was smoke

All Might punched him over 300 times in like, 10 seconds. damn, All Might. that sounds like the kind of hyperbolic thing I would say to describe something like what you just did. only you actually did it

goddamn

so now only Facepalm and his convenient friend with the convenient escape power are left. I wonder what will happen next chapter lmao

BONUS:

JIROU!! ANOTHER OF MY FAVORITES!

she has such a weird power and I fucking love it

unfortunately her power is incompatible with all iPhones manufactured since 2016

“she looks like she’d play bass” yessss

did I mention that I love her?? and I ship her with Momo lol

[comicteaparty]

April 11th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on April 11th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Kitty Kitty Bang Bang by Moe.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Kitty Kitty Bang Bang by Moe~! (https://tapas.io/series/kkbbcomic)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Superjustinbros

Hello!

RebelVampire

hey super~!

Superjustinbros

Coming in and I'd like to give a big shoutout to that header image on the comic's Tapas(edited)

I dunno, I thought it looked badass

RebelVampire

it is a nice header image. although what sells it for me is the logo design. its a really nice logo.

for favorite scene, hmm. ya know, i cant not pick it. the convention scene. that scene legit almost made me cry at how touching it is both with its message about how anyone can cosplay whatever they want regardless of how they look. not to mention the themes of reaching out to others. all wrapped in a nice package of no dialogue so that its the emotions at the center forefront.

Superjustinbros

Yeah.

Also this guy's hair.

RebelVampire

i like his hair and his smile combination. like both scream cocky little shit design wise and i love it cause he kind of is a cocky little shit. XD

Superjustinbros

Oh yes XD

Cocky little shits are my favorite

RebelVampire

another scene i want to show some appreciation too is the scene where we first meet kit's mom. like, i knew it was coming from the chapter title. but i enjoyed the twist it was her step-mom and theres a deeper issue going on. it turned what was easy to guess to something surprising again just by how the story plays out the reveal

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1370747 This is a pretty good page.

Hm, Doug McClure sounds a awful lot like this chap. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUg6e072vgA

RebelVampire

anything in particular you like about it super?

Superjustinbros

The last two panels.

And the followup

https://tapas.io/episode/1371714

dat backside

RebelVampire

i really love the back shot composition. like what a great way to show overwhelming odds

mathtans

Evening. Made it as far as the start of the Bully arc, so late 2018.

Superjustinbros

Yeah. Also ello

I love also how Doug's got like, a million pouches on his belt

I dunno it's a detial I like

mathtans

Yeah, the convention stuff was good. Some of those real-life scenarios that made you want to shake people are good when done right.

Superjustinbros

Yes

mathtans

I'm not sure if I have a big favourite moment, but I have some little ones. Like when that "pinball wizard" thing played as Kit was taking on that nozzle in the gaming store, and it turned out it was the coworker.

The guy at the school in the knight suit, who had the fascination with corndogs. Weird background detail, added some humour to an otherwise tense scene.

RebelVampire

i love the corndog knight

i want a spin-off comic of just them

cause i want to know about them

why are they a knight

why corndogs

so many questions

mathtans

Heh. Made me think of that other bounty hunter, pointy-ears, who also couldn't speak.

Also, did not expect the female reveal there.

And I liked how the scientist flipped out over his research having the higher bounty than himself. Like, that trumped everything else he was in the process of dealing with and he went on a rampage. Amusing.

RebelVampire

yeah the scientists in general was fairly hilarious in everything he tried to prioritize. although i enjoyed that at the end of the mission the crystal wound of broken anyway. cause i felt it was fitting given everything it had been through

mathtans

I thought it was really clever how the rock was used to blind the scientist. Kitty is this weird mix of hyper competent (like when she used the snack habits of that one guy to track him down) and absent-minded (like when she then didn't make a grab for the compound).

I'm not saying that's unrealistic or anything, I can totally see it.

Very "living in the moment" with a dash of forward thinking.

RebelVampire

nah i agree shes a really interesting character. like at first i wasnt sure id like her but some of her plans have been pretty spot. and to be fair a lot of the absent-minded ness you could write off as it her being a kid. so of course shes expected to be a kid and not always think through with her actions.

a more comedic moment i liked was at the end of Mor where Kit and Mary both have to stand there awkwardly making their false apologies to the whole school. this page especially cracks me up just cause of the sheer height diff between the two. i think that makes it extra hilarious https://tapas.io/episode/1215017

mathtans

It's true. And I'm still wrapping my head around the kid thing.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. One of the comic’s focuses and highlights are the action sequences found within. Of the characters Kit has pursued so far in her bounties, which has been your favorite? Why is that? Likewise, which bounty did you think had the best fight choreography? What do you specifically think makes the choreography the best one? Do you think we’ll see any of the criminal characters again? If so, what could that mean for Kit? Considering many of the villains parody stereotypes and similar things, what other sorts of characters do you think or hope we might see? Lastly, do you believe Kit will encounter more of her professional rivals? If so, what do you think will happen?

its okay i had my struggles wrapping my head around but the convention scene really cemented it for me for some reason. but that might just be personal association of conventions being largely for the youth.

mathtans

Incidentally, I wondered initially about the use of "der"... and then when Kitty used the term "Hoser" I thought she was Canadian. That proved incorrect, what with the Norwegian thing.

Ahh... yeah, I went to a certain convention for 20 years straight soooo...

Like, I want to ship, but it feels wrong. Normally if they're young I just think of it as cute, or picture them as older, and neither of those things kinda work here.

I wonder how big Kitty's gonna get when she's 20.

RebelVampire

i didnt start going to conventions till i was an adult but at the same time my experiences is that theyre largely dominated by the youth. not to say there arent older adults there. but the youth are the ones always around drawing attention to themselves being loud. but i digress, just wanted to give context for why it worked for me

mathtans

That's fair.

RebelVampire

tbh i just assumed she was full grown. cause i was actually only an inch or two shorter than my full height at 13 cause i sprouted up early

mathtans

As to the question of the moment, I admit I'm not huge on seeing action and choreography, tending to be bigger on characters anyway. Which is probably why that scientist one sticks out so much, since we got his whole backstory and everything.

I am gonna be in for such a shock when my little one grows up, aren't I.

That short gangster guy who stole the boat might return. It was implied.

RebelVampire

and i legit cant imagine kit taller cause she literally towers over everyone. although is she still shorter than her dad? cause if she is, shell probably be his height.

mathtans

I think she is. I'm equally bad at noticing that sort of thing.

RebelVampire

id have to look again just cause it wasnt something i was looking for and her dad was only in so many scenes XD

im torn on my answer to this question of the moment. i think i agree i like the scientist the best cause he got a lot of backstory. not to mention when kit was doing their dialogue for them from the roof i was like "nah shes gotta be exaggerating" then we meet the scientist and nope, he really is just that arrogant and she was spot on. so overally he was definitely the most entertaining

but for fight choreography, im picking the first bounty with the spin off kool aid man. i really enjoyed the use of the environment and just the sheer level of destruction that was visited upon that grocery store

mathtans

She knows her business. I wonder how long she's been at it.

Oh yeah, almost forgot about that one. I liked when Kitty roped the random customer.

RebelVampire

i liked when after the fight ended, the old lady asked if the employee who was buried under rubble basically could get her a new box

MoeAlmighty

And that was most difficult one to come up with

mathtans

The one with the orcs going after cows was also good, not for the fight (which I think was offscreen) but world building. Until then it was sort of, like, what's reality here anyway.

Oh, hello creator.

MoeAlmighty

Hello there all ^^\

mathtans

Rebel: That was a good scene for setting the tone.

Superjustinbros

Hello Moe!

MoeAlmighty

Thank you. It's always a challenge to come up with a beginning for a series.

Superjustinbros

Thanks for this cool comic of yours.

MoeAlmighty

Howdey

Thanks

Superjustinbros

No probs

And yeah all this talk about conventions is reminding me of all the ones I've been going to lately. Comic focused ones and hugely commercial conventions are easily the most populated-by-youth ones.

mathtans

"Annie" con was a clever name.

MoeAlmighty

It was a little play on words. I always like to make those little puns when I can(edited)

RebelVampire

i did enjoy the orcs with the cows. probably just cause of the extreme accent going on in that dialogue. but i also just love this concept that someone would think clearly humans are only good cause they drink milk. like someone really watched those got milk commercials too much.

mathtans

I very much approve of puns. Also Senshi Kitty.

The head orc was milking his time in the spotlight.

Superjustinbros

Puns are always good

RebelVampire

i do agree with you math that i got the impression well see the gangster who got away from the scientist again at some point. what it means for kit? i could see her being extra determined to catch him since he got away last time. but then maybe thats when well see buff elf chick again who is out for revenge.

MoeAlmighty

Defintely. Orcs have always been my favorite fantasy race to play around with

mathtans

biab

RebelVampire

i do appreciate orcs getting some love in a way cause in my experience theyre really underutilized in a lot of fantasy settings. can find elves everywhere, but nobody wants the orcs.

MoeAlmighty

Well nothing is off the table.^^

Orcs have always been treated as the bad guy or the henchman merely due to their monsterous appearence.

RebelVampire

speaking of not elves, i really like that this guy turned out to be the real villain from bully bully https://tapas.io/episode/1348464. partly cause it was a good twist that it was a bully victim becoming the bully. since that is very true to life. but also, selfishly, i noticed this character immediately in the background one time and i was like "ah man what an interesting looking side chara too bad well never learn about him" and then we learned about him.

QUESTION 3. Even in Kit’s dynamic world, she still has some unique mysteries surrounding her. Why do you think Kit is the only female in her family to receive Freyja’s blessing/curse, especially after it’s been so long it’s almost a myth? What do you think the story is behind Kit’s rage modes that seem to take over when she gets mad? What do you think happened to Kit’s mother, and why is Kit so sensitive about the subject of her mother in general? Additionally, why did Mary calling her mother a whore set her off in particular? Lastly, how do you think Kit got involved with being a Bounty Killer? Why do you think her family lets her pursue the career given how dangerous it all is?

MoeAlmighty

Oh yeah the Goblin. I thought it was a perfect opprotunity to not just introduce the Goblins , but I was also playing around with laying out clues in plain site for the reader to notice.

Superjustinbros

That's smart thinking/writing

MoeAlmighty

There are plans for future stories that are straight up mysteries Kit will have to sovle.

RebelVampire

that sounds exciting and like a good challenge for her character too.

in regards to the current question, i want to dissect the fact that kit's specific phrasing about her mother was that mary hadnt even cared who her mother was as a person. and to a degree, i kind of feel like it was projecting that set her off. that kit herself didnt know a whole lot about her mother. so it might not be so much that her mom was called a whore that did it, but that someone would make a bold claim about her mother when kit herself didnt even know her that well and has since lost the chance to get ot know her. but thats just me theorizing.

mathtans

Back, little one's asleep in the crib again. For now.

MoeAlmighty

Mm hm, It would show that Bounty Killers in the world aren't used for just nabbing a bad guy with a hefty sum on their head. Sometimes folks need someone to investigate with the police's involvement and not ask any questions

mathtans

Was Kitty maybe given up for adoption? (Is that what makes her worthy of the cat ears?)

The police were handy against the scientist too, for a little while.

Superjustinbros

That's a good way of expanding upon bounty hunters.

RebelVampire

i dont think given up for adoption fits cause mor said shes the step mom which implies kit's father is her biological dad. that and there is one pic where the dad is with the mom

mathtans

Oh, right. We did see her biological mom in that holiday special though, didn't we? And Kitty must remember enough to have taken up violin playing (on the roof). So... yeah I dunno.

RebelVampire

thats interesting to know that the bounties arent just for nabbing bad guys. although makes me wonder what kit is going to do when shes told to do something shady and just not ask questions

mathtans

Or was that not the biological mom, was that a younger Dar?

I can't see Kit not asking questions.

RebelVampire

that was her step-mom. her bio mom we only see briefly in a pic

https://tapas.io/episode/1279607

mathtans

I wasn't sure if it was her dad remembering another time in that scene though. Like, the previous stuff was a memory.

(I also don't get enough sleep these days.)

RebelVampire

i could see how youd get that interpretation but pretty sure it was the step-mom and the bio mom was just in the picture

MoeAlmighty

There are a lot of things I don't want to say because of spoilers and I'll be answering those kind of questions down the road. But to answer the question pretaining to Mary, they do indeed have some History as hinted.

mathtans

Mary is actually the younger cousin of the short boat-stealing gangster.

It's why her dad went into law.

MoeAlmighty

heh. that is a pretty interesting theory.

mathtans

(I need to have at least one insane theory and one ship per comic chat. I think it's in my contract.)

RebelVampire

puns are also in your contract math. although you already fulfilled that one.

mary's dad kind of spooks me. like hes a really domineering presence and idk if i want to believe hes good or bad.

MoeAlmighty

Truth is, when I created Mary, she was developed as just the rich girl who presented herself as Ms. Perfect while also having the spoiled brat persona as well

Superjustinbros

lol

mathtans

Oh right. Well, those come naturally. I wonder if her dad is part orc.

Superjustinbros

That's one of many ways to describe that

MoeAlmighty

Best way to describe him is that he's a Lawyer... a very wealthy lawyer.

Oh no, he's part Dutch lol

mathtans

Incidentally, I kind of like that Kit's got both cat ears and human ears, it tends to be how I draw my characters too (even if mine are just headbands). But it does make me wonder how the curse might have rewired her brain to deal with the extra input.

Oooh, a flying dutch man.

RebelVampire

all the dads just drink lots of milk

Superjustinbros

What about Doug.

RebelVampire

to be fair if kit's cat ears are more sensitive than her human ones the extra input probably doesnt matter cause one would hear it better than the other anyway. at worst i imagine things just sound even louder XD

mathtans

It's that special beer.

Maybe it's partly why Kat's so on edge at times.

Superjustinbros

mm, beer

Wait, what kind of beer we talkin

MoeAlmighty

It's kind of a mix bag with it comes to her ears. Internally they do connect to her regular ears and she can hear through them, but only if she concentrates. Mostly they just act like a short range radar or a sixth sense. Something like spidey's spider sense.

Ah yes, I've notice some folks like our esteem adventurer. Others not so much

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Besides the action, there is still a lot of slice-of-life material to be had in the comic as well. Do you think Kit will eventually tell Bia about her career? How do you think Bia will react to finding out about it? What challenges do you foresee awaiting Bia and Kit as their relationship continues to develop and secrets reveal themselves? Further, how do you see Kit balancing her school life in general with her job? Will she manage to maintain her grades and everything, or will things prove tougher than she expects? In terms of Kit’s regular life, what things are you hoping to see be explored in how she lives her day-to-day life? Lastly, are there any themes (like bullying) that caught your eye from the slice-of-life segments? What about them did you enjoy?

mathtans

It's cool that youv'e thought about that.

Honestly, the bounty-hunters clashing, while not necessarily slice-of-life, felt realistic and added depth to the idea of the job. Also revealed how their methods are non-lethal. And was the first ship I considered.

MoeAlmighty

Ah yes, I had a lot of folks doing a double take when I revealed her age.

RebelVampire

unrelated to the current question, i really hope we get to see more bounty killers in the story just cause they cant all work out as well as buff elf chick. also id really like to get a feel for the age range cause its concerning the gov was like "nah a 13 year old bounty killer? thats fine"

mathtans

That's a good point. Did she register under an assumed name?

Superjustinbros

Seconding Rebel.

MoeAlmighty

Well due to Kit's size, she may or may not of lied about her age when she took the job

mathtans

Also, I feel like the construction job field gets a lot of work in this universe. We only see Kitty's exploits but there have to be other incidents in the world as well.

Actually, magicians too must be a thing. And mimes.

Did not expect the mimes.

MoeAlmighty

Their are plans to explore other parts of world. One in particular is the Bounty Pick Up units sent to pick up the bounties and make out the reports.

Yes, beware the mimes ^^

I will be exploring a lot more of the Magis and how the magic works as well.

mathtans

Silent but deadly.

MoeAlmighty

very

mathtans

That short magic comic did a good job, I thought.

And I liked the money van guy critiquing the pun.

MoeAlmighty

Hm Hm, well not everything can be a homerun for our little cat girl

RebelVampire

yeah i really liked the short magic comic. cause it was funny and really did some good world-building

i also loved the cowboy bank robber

just cause he was a cowboy

and that was ridiculous

mathtans

Oh yeah, forgot about him.

I wonder how Kitty practices her quick draws.

Where do they lock these guys up, anyway? Regular jails seem like they wouldn't be sufficient.

MoeAlmighty

Yes, you don't see that many cowboys these days. But it was a perfect nod for one of the inspirations of the comic

Superjustinbros

Cowboys are fun.

MoeAlmighty

Um, they go to regular prison and go through the same process as the law provides^^

Superjustinbros

Always love one with an appealing design when one shows up.

MoeAlmighty

Very much so

RebelVampire

what sort of lawyer is mary's dad?

mathtans

How do you lock up an orc so that he doesn't just bend the bars?

MoeAlmighty

He's a defense lawyer

mathtans

He lawyers der fence.

RebelVampire

ah so i can say maybe mary's dad defends all these criminals kit tries to send to jail.

MoeAlmighty

Booooo

It's a possibility and her dad is very much against the Bounty Killer and the Bounty Board in general

Superjustinbros

ooh, is that so(edited)

mathtans

Circling back to Bia, it'd be amusing if someone in her family was also a bounty hunter. Kitty admits it and she's like, "oh, okay, I can see how you'd be good at that too".

RebelVampire

just to talk a bit about the current question, i do feel its inevitable kit has to tell bia about her job. cause i mean...kit isnt the most undestructive. just takes one time of showing up burnt to a crisp to school to give it away. but i think bia is gonna take it better than kit thinks shell take it. cause tbf, if i was bia i would not be surprised.

tbf i kind of agree with mary's dad. they might be catching criminals, but holy shit that property damage

mathtans

I feel like Bia might find out not through Kit though. Like maybe even via Kit's brother. Which could strain the relationship.(edited)

RebelVampire

especially the property damage caused by the scientist

cause even if they have the money to fix it, it still takes time

mathtans

Or magic.

MoeAlmighty

Bia finding out Kit is a Bounty Killer is inevitable, and it might happen happen sooner than you think

RebelVampire

it could strain their relationship too. though for some reason i feel for bia itd be more about the age thing than the danger thing if that makes sense. cause the career suits kit. just maybe not when kit is still 13, in school, and all that

mathtans

'Cept her dad is okay with it.

I feel like I'd totally be that dad by the way. Who makes concessions. Then ends up in trouble with mom too.

MoeAlmighty

It is going to a very unique exploring the relationship Kit and Bia have. In many ways, Bia will act more like the straight man of the relationship

Well Edward looks at it more like she's hunting game. expect the part of gutting it and cleaning it for food^^

RebelVampire

i just want to say i really love kit's dad and i hope we get to see him more. he seems just so utterly likeable. like a gentle giant

mathtans

Just want to give a shout-out to the school nun badass. Possibly like the opposite to dad.

MoeAlmighty

He is indeed^^

Superjustinbros

Since the CTP is wrapping up in a bit, I'd like to wish @MoeAlmighty the best of luck with Kitty Kitty Bang Bang, it's got a great artstyle, story, and some good humor.

mathtans

Oh right, pretty good stuff done with only black and white too.

MoeAlmighty

Yes, Beatrice is indeed a beast^^

Thank you so much^^

Superjustinbros

You're welcome! ^^

RebelVampire

yeah i loved the nun. especially her epic entrance and this page https://tapas.io/episode/1188530

like everything about that page is perfect

"Keeper of the Lunch Period"

MoeAlmighty

God help the guilty

mathtans

Indeed.

Probably a bumper sticker on her car.

MoeAlmighty

I'm sure everyone here remembers that one teacher that kept everyone in check at lunch period

best bumper sticker ever

mathtans

Kitty has some nice exclamations too.

Superjustinbros

lol

Anyways, cya till next time, and thanks for dropping by @MoeAlmighty

^^

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Moe, as well, for making Kitty Kitty Bang Bang. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Moe’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/kkbbcomic

Moe’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MoeAlmighty

Moe’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/theMoeAlmighty

[im-no-jedi]

ok alright here we go here’s my super duper long ramble/fangirling post about S2 Voltron (SPOILERS APLENTY HERE) (MOBILE USERS BEWARE)

I’m gonna start off by saying that I would like to personally thank each and every single person who works on this show because OMG it is so. freaking. GOOD. especially the animation like???? let me hug everyone at Studio Mir please they are the BEST. and the music continues to be #On Point and exactly my type of music, please Dreamworks release a season two soundtrack PLEASE. also the pacing seemed better this time around?? season one felt SO rushed, like I blinked and it was over, but this season felt really well paced and not rushed at all, hallelujah \o/

ok now on to more specific things

I’m gonna sort my thoughts via each character cause that’s gonna be the easiest thing to do I think, also writing out my feelings for each episode would take much longer tbh

Shiro: UMMM. MY POOR BABY???? the season starts out with him already wounded and then proceeds to have him get attacked and thrown around by a bunch of alien beasts like???? can you not?????? making Shiro suffer is a running theme in this show and I DON’T WIKE IT. he suffered less from PTSD this time around tho, which I appreciated. he just suffered more physically instead hahahaha LET HIM REST FOR GOSH SAKES!!!!!! although I think I felt most bad for him during that rescue mission with Salv like OMFG poor Shiro LOL. him bonding with the black lion was.... OMG. I was so proud and happy for him. take that Zarkon you fudge nugget. also ALSO HIM BONDING WITH KEITH????? I WAS SCREAMING??????????? THE HUG??!?!?!?!???!??! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *ahem* anyway, I’m not even gonna get into the finale cause frick dat he’s fine he just is hiding under the control panel and is gonna pop up and surprise everyone later it’ll be great you’ll see :) he’s fine guys :) he is F I N E :) :) :) :) 8)

Pidge: A RELATABLE NERD WHO MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. I already felt a connection to Pidge last season, but this one was literally like OMG... it me... if I were smarter anyway... :P. she was precious as always, not taking any crap from those dumb boys. I LOVED her episode on the techie planet, it was so good. her having to rescue everyone in the end was just... *insert Pacha pic here*. also umm Harm and I kept making predictions throughout the entire season and saying “YOU GUYS SHOULD DO THIS” and then Pidge would always be the one to say the EXACT thing that Harm and I had been saying all along (like the Black Lion being the thing that Zarkon was tracking) and it was like YES!!!! GIRL!!!!!! GET SHIZZ DONE!!!!!!!!! seriously Pidge is like the support character of this team, without her, they would literally be dead right now. I freaking love her. she is the BEST \o/

Hunk: GIVE THIS BOY A FRIGGIN MEDAL. SERIOUSLY. and that medal would be for being the absolute biggest sweetheart EVER. OMG. I’m so glad they chose to put him and Keith together for the Weblum episode cause Keith needed someone like Hunk after what he had just gone through OMG. Hunk wasn’t demeaning to Keith at all, he was actually genuinely curious about what had happened to him??? I’m crying????? also I know everyone is complaining about him being reduced to comedic relief and only talking about food and all that but like... he stated in the Eye of the Storm episode that cooking was how he destressed?? it’s his hobby?? he likes cooking and eating food?? I get it, ya’ll want a chubby character who’s not just there to eat food all the time. well, from what I recall, Hunk used his smarts pretty darn often in the season, especially in the Weblum episode. also he’s still a big lovable goofball that everyone on the team loves and what’s better than that tbh?? NOBODY on the team makes fun of Hunk for liking to eat and cook, and honestly, that’s incredible. I absolutely LOVED the parts in the space mall episode where he was cooking in the food court and everybody was loving his food. he was doing what he loves to do, and he was being GOOD at it. as an overweight person who also likes to eat often, I support Hunk and his food eating/making endeavors ^3^

Lance: I... honestly wish I could say more about him. unlike with Hunk, I do agree with the fandom that Lance pretty much got shoved to the side this season. besides the mermaid and rescuing Salv episodes, he didn’t do much at all. he was hilarious as always, but I’m starting to see season three Sokka syndrome here, and I’m not sure how to feel. I don’t have a problem with him being a comedic character, but it feels like they’re taking away from the really important stuff with his character. he didn’t even mention his Earth family this time around. is that not an issue for him anymore? with Pidge and now Keith both looking for their families, I feel like this might impact Lance more in the coming seasons. I really hope they delve more into his character in S3 cause we didn’t get much of him in the first season either. poor Lance :\

Keith: DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY IT. DO I. COME ON. YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I’M GONNA SAY. I specifically saved Keith for last cause hoooooo BOY do I have a lot to say!!!!! firstly *SCREAMS FOR 84 YEARS*. secondly *SOBS FOR 84 MORE YEARS*. and lastly *DIES*. that is all. ........LOL jk. thank you thank you THANK YOU to the writers for giving him more of a focus this season. we complained that Keith was barely there in the first season and now this second season more than made up for it. this was Keith’s season, man. even more so than Shiro. I was one of the people who REALLY wanted Keith to be part Galra aND LO. THE WRITERS DELIVERED. *MORE SCREAMING*. I’m a bit disappointed that Thace wasn’t his father, but I’ll talk more about the Galra in a bit. also the fact that his mother is the one who’s a Galra? I didn’t even know there were female Galra since Haggar was the only female on the ship (and I was suspicious of her actually being a Galra anyway). but whatever, I’m not picky, IM JUST HAPPY IT’S A THING. The Blade of Marmora is my new Carnage of Krell and I’m gonna torture myself by watching it 20 more times hahahaha. I already mentioned the Shiro hug but also HE THINKS OF SHIRO LIKE A BROTHER??!?!!?!?!? UMMMMMMMMM??!??!!?!?!?!??!?!!?! I died to say the least. I’m still dying. I’m still dying A LOT. and and AND KEITH BEING PROTECTIVE OF SHIRO IN THE FIRST EPISODE?????? I CRIED????????? he was so supportive and helpful in this season, he really bonded more with the others, especially the Weblum episode OMG, I love his relationship with Hunk so much ;3;. and the stuff between him and Allura????? like I don’t ship it, but I was still screaming like... Keith is such a friggin sweetheart, he genuinely cares about everyone even though he doesn’t always show it, and he’s so loyal and protective and strong and I AM SO FREAKING IN LOVE WITH HIM HE IS PERFECT?????????????????????????? the fact that he was able to control the black lion in the first episode?????? he really is a good leader after all?????? this entire season was building Keith up so that he could take over for Shiro once he was gone and I’m??!!?!?!!?!!?! *SOBS FOR 84 YEARS AGAIN*. I’m honestly frightened for what the next season is gonna hold because nooooooo do not give Keith anymore grief and sorrow and worry, do NOT let him blame himself for losing Shiro, DO NOT MAKE HIM ANGSTY AGAIN, JUST LET HIM BE HAPPY AND FIND HIS FAMILY AND BE A GOOD SUBSTITUTE LEADER FOR SHIRO OK????????? that’s all I ask.... ;3;

ok that’s the main five, now on to the other characters...

Allura and Coran: I’m lumping them together because I can. Coran didn’t really change much this season, and I’m ok with that. I like him just the way that he is. the episode where he had the Slipperies was HYSTERICAL. I love him XD. Allura continues to just be... ok to me? I definitely don’t dislike her, but there are so many things about her that bothered me this season, it was hard for me to change my feelings about her at all. I got SO pissed at her about her issues with the Galra, it was ridiculous. especially when she was being a jerk to Keith, that was just infuriating. if this was the writers attempt at trying to showcase racism, then congrats to them cause they did a wonderful job at making me almost hate Allura LOL. I compare Allura to Katara a LOT, but unlike Katara, I feel like Allura might have more likable qualities to her. in terms of her racist feelings towards the Galra and Keith, she resolved them a heckuva lot quicker than Katara did with the Fire Nation, which I appreciated greatly. the way she handled her apology to Keith was even more satisfying than Katara’s apology to Zuko tbh. idk guys, I really want to like Allura more, and at times I like her more than others (like during the last couple episodes holy frick YOU GO GIRL \o/), but overall, I’m still just... ok with her. nothing more, nothing less. if I were to rank all of the main hero characters in order, she would probably be last. but I in no ways hate her, that’s for sure.

The Galra: again, lumping all together cause there are WAAAY too many characters that fit into this category for me to separate. like Keith, these guys were given a big focus this season, and I am SO GLAD. I really wanted to learn more about them in the first season, and I was super syked to learn that they weren’t all bad guys. the Blade of Marmora (the actual organization, not the episode of the same name) was SO. FRIGGIN. COOL. like yeah, they started off as a bunch of jerks, but thanks to the glorious efforts of my husband, they chilled out and joined with the team and kicked MAJOR butt in the finale, I was so friggin pleased. also Ulaz and Thace?? I’m hurt man. I’m hurt REAL bad. someone please tell me I’m not the only one who got Clone Trooper vibes from those two cause I AM HURT. if the Blade ends up being a bunch of sacrificial lambs for the rest of the season, IM WRITING A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER TO DREAMWORKS TO TELL THEM TO BACK THE FRICK OFF OF MY BOYS!!!!!!! also, like the Clones, I am conflicted on whether or not I want to adopt them all or marry them all but we won’t get into that *COUGH*. I hope more Galra join the Blade in the next season. and that we get to find out WHO TF THAT PERSON WAS THAT KEITH RESCUED INSIDE THE WEBLUM CAUSE I JUST KNOW THAT PERSON IS IMPORTANT SOMEHOW!!!! (calling it now, they’re related to Keith in some manner, also I think they were female). besides the Blade, I also enjoyed seeing other odd Galra that are actually part of Zarkon’s army, like Marvok and the cop from the space mall. more characters like them please \o/

aaaaand some final things to note

Zarkon literally turned into Megatron, he’s even in a coma like Megs was in the first season of TFP hahahaha

I had a theory that Haggar was a species other than Galra but I did NOT expect her to be Altean tbh

IF THEY NEVER SHOW OR MENTION THE COW AGAIN IM GOING TO BE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN THE WRITERS

forgot to mention it in Allura or Shiro’s sections but!!!! that hand hold!!! ALL ABOARD THE SHALLURA TRAIN 8D

immediately after finishing the season, I looked up Prince Lotor and I DO NOT WANT THEM TO CHANGE HIS CHARACTER AT ALL HE IS PERFECT THE WAY HE IS P L E A S E WRITERS OMG

please... let Pidge find her brother and dad soon... please writers...

I want more Altean history and I WANT TO KNOW WHO THE OTHER PREVIOUS PALADINS WERE

Harm and I couldn’t remember the name of the Taujeerians, so we just called them the Pooh aliens cause the leader was voiced by Jim Cummings (and they were really cute and chubby LOL)

that’s it :P

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - A Monopoly On Punching

In case you haven’t noticed, this will prove that Emma is really not very keen on Jerry Lawler.

Transmission date: 28/29/ August 2017

Still doing the thing, still not even vaguely punctual, let's have some SATURDAY AFTERNOON RAW!

cold open on miz and his crew in the ring

and the announcement that we're not having booker tonight

i'd be happy, but it's because of hurricane sandy

and we get lawler instead

fuuuuuuuuck

cries

so later tonight, we have brock existing, alexa/sasha for the belt, and roman/cena contract signing

but now, a miz

and maryse in trousers, of all things

miz gets half a word into whatever he was doing before kurt interrupts everything

miz is not even slightly impressed

kurt is here to semi-apologise about there being no ic title match at slam, but promises one at no mercy

miz responds by defining the word respect

just so kurt knows

and delivers an impassioned speech on behalf of a belt

kurt responds by making a battle royal for a title shot next week

so that's what we're having now

aaaaaaaa

it's the big show

but he's shaved

he looks like somebody inflated kurt

why would this happen

welp, five minutes in and there goes my ability to take this ep seriously

and now the hardyz

one day i will understand the purpose of the toilet paper hanging out of jeff's back pocket

but it is not this day

oh yeah, and the miztourage are in this

and now finn

for fuck's sake, jerry, stop yelping

just turn your mic off and be misogynistic in silence

cole and graves can handle this

does the arms

apparently this is going to be a 15-man fight, but here's an advert break while the rest arrive

myc advert

(hint: watch the mae young classic, it's dope as fuck)

and we're back

with jason jordan entering

now his bad music has some rap over it

also present are goldust, kalisto, curt hawkins, r-truth, apollo crews, elias [NAME] and gallows and anderson

hawkins eliminated by everyone while i type that, because fuck that guy

well of course you had money on curt, jerry

that's because you're a twat

and now everyone turns to the big show

although nobody wants to make the first move

so all the jobbers do so

chaos ensues

the miztourage throw kalisto out

apparently cole hates people having friends

you heard it here first

jerry makes a fart joke, because once again, fuck that guy

big show is just ignoring the rest of the match while he slaps a guitarist

(a guitarist has no name)

the club take show out, with some unexpected rebulletening courtesy of finn bálor

finn gets to do his pin rollout dropkick thing on elias, despite that pin attempt making precisely zero sense

truth gets eliminated because eh

everyone keeps almost eliminating jeff

must be hard for him to actually try and stay in an elevated position

bless

the panel put their money on jj, so let's see how obvious this booking can be

goldust gets eliminated by a combination of gallows, anderson, and his own inability to follow up on moves

ad break, during which apollo eliminated himself by being an idiot

why would you do anything springboarding off the top rope in this match

sigh

matt eliminates gallows with a well-timed shamble, almost gets taken out by anderson

and then they punch the tits off each other on the apron

anderson gets whipped into the ring post and goes out, gallows just rips matt off the apron

miz gets the idea, jumps in to help his minions

memphis is not pleased at the loss of seven deities

thanks for that replay, the camera didn't really show miz's interference there

finn gets to do his usual comeback/grimace sequence

kicks elias off the turnbuckle, but he manages to stay in

slingblades jj, i do my usual pop

faces off with jeff hardy, crowd goes mental

and then gets dropkicked in the dick

which is totally fine if you're jeff hardy

dropkicks him and bo into the corners, everyone is down until wyatt cut bray throws him out

what can you do when your nemesis can teleport

cue finn slumped against the barricade with a face like what the actual fuck

jj does a cool reversal spot, only marred by jeff almost accidentally rolling under his feet, eliminates the miztourage, elias eliminates him, jeff eliminates elias and...wins?

huh

well, i guess they didn't go with the obvious booking

cut to miz, who looks to have had the same reaction

so miz/jeff next week

sure, why not

jeff's just thrilled his music is playing

god, but does jeff love that music

ok, i got a couple of those last eliminations the wrong way round

jj took out elias, was taken out by jeff

thanks replay

jeff is still taking off and putting on random articles of clothing

dude, you wear too many clothes

consider consolidating a bit

you're not a final fantasy character

(full disclosure: i would play the absolute shit out of a ff-style rpg about the hardyz)

(or p much any wwe characters, tbh)

(theres a market, guys, exploit it)

(you don't need people to take your angles at face value any more)

but yeah, here's a video package about the ongoing brauk lesman sitaution

and reminding me how hilarious it was last week

10/10 would watch brock get put through the floor again

so yeah, brock's back tonight

we can only hope it goes as well as last time

but up next, enzo's first cruiserweight match

but first, apparently, charly interviews alexa

who's splashed on a pretty great denim vest

alexa again leans on how sasha can't defend belts

so clearly she will

charly's interview face has crossed the line from 'serious journalist' to 'kind of in love'

and i don't think any of us can blame her

but yeah, here's enzo

time to see if he can actually wrestle

so yeah, spoilers if you don't watch 205, i guess

enzo's a cruiserweight

comes in, does his usual thing

well yeah, jerry, of course you love enzo

that's because you're a twat

enzo reminds us that cass got injured

apparently that's legit?

torn acl, out for months

boo

so yeah, step to enzo and you'll end up accidentally breaking your own knee

unless he's claiming he has some kind of probability powers, that makes no sense at all

mentions mayweather/mcgregor, gets super mixed heat

and apparently he's fighting noam

who he says has two last names?

dude, you're from the northeast, learn some jewish names

noam hasn't got a mic yet, so a trick has officially been missed

his face is very much how the fuck an i the responsible adult in this ring

and then just kicks the fuck out of enzo

pan out to neville watching

or possibly just staring into the middle distance as usual but someone's put a tv in front of him

noam tries to rip enzo's hair out, jerry decides the best use of all our time right now is for him to make fun of neville's hair

enzo does an arm drag headkick thing that he totally got off the mae young classic, and gets a pin that builds no heat whatsoever

well, i guess that happened

and then dabs on him

dude, that gimmick's taken

and now charly's here to ask neville what he thinks of enzo

he's just like hahahahaha fuck seriously?

i'm gonna be champion forever

drops a how you doin, end thing

but next, brock is alive

after we tell you how we win at social media

no, stop introducing jerry

but yes, here we have a bouncing simpleton

also his manager

paul says words, you can all fill in the blank yourself

and then a new section on the theme of how braun's pretty great but brock's still gonna win

paul is the only one left in this company who understands the importance of hyping your opponents, it seems

and also here's a verbal recap of everything's that happened in this angle

"i don't believe in monsters, but i believe braun strowman is one"

that's a sentence that needs some serious philosophical unpacking right there

brock takes paul's mic mid-flow, manages to restrain himself to a "suplex city, bitch", so at least we didn't have to cut it for profanity

drops the mic, paul follows him out like welp guess we're done

but now, here's a seth

just with a solo match for tonight, but dean's here with him anyway

dean gets down to the ring, puts the belt he was carrying on backwards just so he could do the dramatic spin thing

smart money says he'll have taken it off again by the time we get back off this break

but first, an advert for the show we were once upon a time meant to be competing with

ok, no, dean's still got a belt on

jerry, never tell us about total bellas again

on which note, here's a video about the return of cena

which makes total sense in the middle of the intros to this seth/cesaro match

and the package keeps him saying 'certaint'

bless

fuck, this package is long

and there's not even anything i can say about it, because this angle was balls except for cena making fun of people, which has got entirely cut

but finally back to the actual match that's happening now, here are the kkb

i love their entrance, even if it is just their solo entrances bolted together

their jackets have gained some chain epaulette things this week

and were their kilts camo before?

because they are now

not thrilled

pan over to dean hanging off the ropes doing the loser sign and sticking his tongue out

the apex of maturity right there

but now that we're actually in the match, i am a very happy internet person because seth/cesaro is always a great match

casual standing moonsault, why not

i do still kind of miss his heel hair, though

sheamus gets some distraction time by just kind of lurking at ringside and not doing anything

cut to ads, come back on cesaro doing a massive military press/leg drop combo

like i say, this is a good match

apparently seth started the match "like a house of fire [sic]"

shut the fuck up, jerry

seth counters a top rope crossbody into a nearfall and a great enzuigiri, commence to comeback

one day an announcer will pronounce enzuigiri correctly and i can just stop watching forever

cesaro puts seth on the top turnbuckle, then is shocked when he immediately eats a blockbuster

like seriously, watch a match some time

sheamus tries to interfere, dean starts a really awkward brawl, distracts seth long enough for cesaro to hit him with a massive uppercut for the pin

i'll be honest, this feud could run and run and i'd be happy

and now sheamus has a mic

to talk shit and challenge dean to a match RIGHT NOW

which is apparently happening

sure

does kurt just fuck off home after the first hour of the show and leave it to run itself

this match is less technically sparkling, as you might imagine, but scrappier and still fun

sheamus puts a stretch muffler on dean

when the fuck did we last see that move

dean tries to counter out, sheamus just transitions into a cloverleaf

i'd watch submission specialist sheamus

does three beats of the bodhrán before going eh fuck youse

again, puts his opponent on the top turnbuckle then is surprised whren he jumps off

dean counters another bodhrán into a hotshot, but is selling a hip injury hard

sheamus hits white noise from the top rope, dean kicks out because fuck your elevated finisher

brogue countered into dirty deeds countered into getting kicked in the face

cesaro gets up on the apron, seth pulls him off then runs into the ring

ref gets distracted by cesaro following him, seth breaks up a white noise attempt and dean hits dirty deeds for the pin

and now emma's backstage

with mickie, who's continuing to up the Native stuff in her gear

they've got a match later

so lets have a long argument about hashtags

they really need to give emma more to do

mickie takes emma's phone, makes a bet

emma wins, mickie will tweet anything she wants, mickie wins, emma has to stop saying she started the revolution

fuck, that angle's for shit

and now we have a bunch of superstars telling us to donate to the hurricane harvey relief fund, and i have no jokes there

also, i'm reasonably sure i called it hurricane sandy earlier

that was a different thing, and i clearly need to pay attention

and straight from that into burger king giving us a video package about kurt's olympic history

a propos of nothing

but back in the ring, here's mickie and her new headband

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THEY'VE CHANGED EMMA'S MUSIC FUCK EVERYTHING BURN IT DOWN

seriously

what is this

that was the best music

fuck you, raw

jerry, stop talking about hashtags,you're like 803

and the only thing he can think of to say about emma is making fun of her lipstick

seriosuly, jerry, you're what we had the women's revolution (such as it is) to get away from

and emma gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin

and they play THE WRONG FUCKING MUSIC

emma gets a mic so she can walk out saying she started the women's revolution three dozen times

so that happened

w/e

but up next, two people you may or may not enjoy do some paperwork

thrilling

after a trailer for the bruce lee film we're producing, seemingly for no other reason than because wwe want a monopoly on punching

but back to the ring, and kurt's back again

here to hype cena/reigns

memphis can't decide which of the two it hates more

cena comes in, hugs lawler

we had such high hopes for you, john

cena's here to talk roman up, presumably because he heard what i said about heyman earlier

claims to "have zero f's to give"

skirting the line, john

does a pithy promo, signs the paper

and here's roman

cole makes the error of asking lawler for an opinion, jerry just flounders for a while while roman sullenly slouches down the ramp

roman starts saying words, memphis immediately commence the booing

roman is basically all i'm not scared you ain't shit

doesn't think he needs to fight cena, drops the undertaker reference to get heat

(it works)

cena sarcastically bends the knee, addresses the concept of him turning heel

and calls roman a "cheap-ass, corporately-created, john cena bootleg"

ouch

maintains that roman is, in fact, a guy

openly pulls out that taker was old, injured, and generally past it

you can poke the mystique if your name's john cena

he is getting enormous pops for just shitting on roman

which is fair

mic passes to roman, who's just like yeah well you suck

cena's like yeah, so does this guy here, but he got a gold medal, so

and now roman's trying to find his second point, not helped by cena taking every pause to be sarcastic and shit on his promo skills in so many words

today's cena is inside baseball cena

shouts "See ya, fourth wall!"

love it

so roman calls him a phony/yes-man/fake bitch

then when he graduates to 'part-timing fake-ass bitch', they actually blank the sound

i love their criteria

roman comes back about cena being part-time and burying upcoming talent to stay on top

say what you will about the people involved, cena has pulled the best promo out of roman in basically ever

roman doesn't want to sully his legacy by chasing cena

so cena calls him a fool

not a thing you hear so often in wrestling

and calls him out for doing the same thing as everyone forever

and congratulates him for cutting a halfway-decent promo after five years

focuses on debunking the rumours of his "mythical golden shovel"

we're back in that rpg

but yeah, points out how he's not nearly as dominant as he used to be and he's been putting new talent over for years

which is true by any objective logic

and he's like yeah i'm only on top because everybody else ain't shit

and i can part-time better than you ever could full-time drops mic

this promo is fire, and memphis loves him

after some more goading, roman finally signs

then flips the table because he's a tool

and now...anderson and gallows are here?

to tell roman and cena they aren't good brothers

gallows's jacket has sprouted some shoulder chains as well

and kurt's like welp, fuck it, tag match

kind of feels like those promos should have just been allowed to breathe on their own rather than going into a largely pointless match

ad break later, cena's in the ring getting beaten on by some bad cousins while roman stands on the apron like oh hey that looks like it hurts

incredibly long headlock by gallows as roman sarcastically calls for the tag

my favourite thing about tag matches is wrestlers lying in the middle of the ring slowly streeeeeeeetching to their partners like they expect to turn into mr fantastic

roman finally gets the tag

and delivers an incredibly shoddy driveby

cena picks gallows up for an aa, then waits for roman to get in  position so he can synchronise it with roman hitting a spear for the pin

because before all else, john cena is in service of the show

cena sarcastically applauds as roman's music plays, end segment

but up next, a song

after this smackdown ad, at least

and an nxt ad about the roh invasion

but yes, here he is

wearing obnoxious sunglasses

just does a blues break for no particular reason before doing his spiel

namechecks dusty, memphis don't even react

sort it out, guys

apparently dusty called him the elvis of the wwe

[citation needed]

lawler interrupts his song about how memphis is shit

to say the crowd are pleased would be underselling it a bit

i, on the other hand, fill up slightly more with bile every time lawler says words

and he's brought out pelvis wesley

(for those of you who don't watch southpaw regional wrestling or havent done the wrestling, it's heath slater dressed as elvis)

(i should really watch them)

starts a weird dance-off with elias, who then just kicks him in the crotch

seems reasonable

kicks him around a bit, then hits drift away and stands on him for a bit

that bullshit aside, it's main event time

corey, you don't need to tell us about sasha not defending the belt again

the point has been made

but before that, the myc ad again

watch the myc: it's better than 90% of the shit on this show

but before the match, let's shill jerry's club

and run replays of the battle royal from earlier

and now here's miz and guests backstage

renee's here to get his thoughts

(spoiler: he's not impressed)

objects to it taking one match to get a title shot, flounces off

and now we have charly backstage with sasha

they've changed her hair, and i don't like it

tl;dr: alexa ain't shit and sasha plans to win

in the ring, here's alexa

and the camera focuses for a weirdly long time on some guy with a BLISS IS BELT-LESS sign

if there's a joke in there, i don't get it

but now a burger king ad with the kkb bickering

but agreeing on burgers

sure, whatever

and another hurricane harvey appeal

wow, they're putting everything into the pre-main event buffer

and an ad for a pointless 6-man tag on 205

i'm sure there was a main event on its way, but it's faded into the mists of time

right, here comes sasha, so it'll only be another half dozen adverts before the match starts

aaaaaaand here we go

alexa kicking off with a rollup because fuck the fans

(it doesn't take)

wow, yeah, they've both just decided to go into finishes right away

at this rate, the finish'll be a side headlock

this match is just sasha beating on her, so it's looking good for alexa

double knees to the outside

ish

didn't really connect properly

shockingly, alexa turns it round in the ad break

sorry, jerry, when you try and sell the prestige and importance of a women's title it just makes me giggle

also, i hate you

alexa gets sasha in a really nasty half-bow and arrow hold, just sits there for a while

they are still committing to going for the cheap pin wherever possible

right up until alexa just punches sasha in the face and does a flip piledriver

which doesn't get as much of a reaction as it should have

sasha kicks out, because alexa needed a chance to throw a tantrum

even as enormously long superplex setups go, that could have done with a kick up the ass

ended up with a lovely spot that looked no fun for sasha at all, but still

alexa crawls over for the pin, sasha gets the bank statement out of nowhere

alexa manages to roll over it and hit a brutal lifting ddt for the pin

did somebody need a new mat finisher

so yeah, the belt gets passed again

does the raw women's belt have some kind of bottle imp thing going on

nia comes in to raise alexa's hand and beat some more shit out of sasha

carries alexa around the ring a bit

and then backdrops her into oblivion

the crowd loves it, because there are few things wrestling fans like more than betrayal

brandishes the belt a bit, then walks up the ramp so she can deathstare the ring as we fade

so that was an odd episode

for segment quality, you had a stark choice between great (the contract signing, weirdly enough), ass (mickie/emma, jerry the walking trashfire lawler), and ??? (jeff hardy has an ic title match)

well, that's wrestling, i guess

up next, the same but blue

but first, after a protracted absence during the hiatus, there's another dazzling return to watch

friends and fans, your friend and mine, the horizontal line

-------------------------------

damn, but it's good to see you again, line

best timeskip mechanism since the text crawl right there

but now that we're done getting reacquainted, let's get down to brass tacks

and by 'brass', i mean SUNDAY EVENING

and by 'tacks' i mean SMACKDOWN!

(shut up, you think of a better segue)

but yes, here it is, the unfolding conspiracy that is kevin owens' life

just watch, he'll have a pinboard full of string this week

straight in, announcing orton/nakamura v jinder/rusev for the main event

um

why?

apparently it was just announced

but here in the arena, it's the the singhs

and their boss, natch

i will keep maintaining that this is just aj's music in punjabi until someone steps to my headcanon

and then i will fire back with my headcannon

#gpoy

away from my raving and magrittening, we get a recap of shinsuke fucking up the singhs last week

and sunil/samir tapping to a hold that did not yet exist

one day i'll be able to tell them apart

who am i kidding, i still can't tell jimmy and jey apart 70% of the time

and now jinder says words

little rock do not care for him

or randy, by the sound of it

weird

oh, apparently now he's a representative of all of asia

somewhere shinsuke's like ano

usa chants start the noment he mentions asia, because fucking murica

jinder highlights the very real problem of racial discrimination in public services, gets booed

pronounces 'revered' to rhyme with 'severed'

fucking boo him for that, if you need something

jinder says someone has to pay the price, the singhs immediately start thundering out the apologies

apologising to the entire population of asia

while getting all teary

jinder is not the best actor in this ring

the crowd are just getting into sunil (i think)'s performance

samir (maybe) says he can somehow promise shinsuke will never touch jinder again

gets annoyed because arkansas are not taking their public apologies seriously

only made more difficult by them begging to kiss his feet

"...Really?"

for once i agree with you, john

they don't quite get there before the best music not played by a midi synth hits

oh look, an asian man

i'm sure he's thrilled to have the singhs speak for him

they form a barricade between shinsuke and jinder, he just pushes them out of the way like why the fuck are you even here

and brawl commences

all three of them swiftly dogpile shinsuke

and i am mostly distracted by their ugly sky-blue shirts

oh hey, here's randy

and rusev, who has figured out the element of surprise comes from not having your music and lights hit every time you enter the room

thanks to such devious tactics, randy gets kicked out of existence and shinsuke takes a khallas

end thing

later tonight, aj tries to do an open challenge again

can't see it going well

but next, and which should go far better, american alpha 2.0 have a match

hyped for this

but first, the myc ad again, and i kind of could rewatch the first round

announcement: next week, randy/shinsuke for a title shot

for whatever reason

it's not like they've actually done much to earn it

cut back to the ring, the ascension are already here

remember when they got to win at things?

and here come benjamin and gable

as they are being called

and they have new music, which is a shame as i fucking loved the american alpha music

not as bad as emma's, though

still p decent, is the difference here

starting off with gable/viktor

aka chad gable reminds you that you love chain wrestling

shelton tags in, let's see how this goes

overhead butterfly suplex, can't for the life of me think who i last saw using that

chad gets thrown out of the ring, ugly landing

cut to ads, chad gets slapped around a bunch

i think the real question here is will your finisher be anywhere near as sweet as grand amplitude

or have an even more randomly-generated name

hot tag to shelton, who is, as it happens, still p good

hits a top rope clothesline into a massive jumping ddt for the pin

the internet assures me it's a leaping reverse sto

notable for being a) basically the same fucking thing, and b) not quite grand amplitude

but yeah, cautiously hype

and later we have new day/usos, with the winner picking the stipulation for their title rematch

so expect weirdness

but next, aj v mystery guest

and here's baron backstage

no reason

renee comes to ask him how he feels about "squandering" his briefcase

baron is pissed about her word choice and cena fucking off to raw

oh yeah, forgot baron was promised a spot in the open challenge

or was he

ambiguous wording is the booker's friend

but first, hurricane harvey appeal with the smackdown roster

including ziggler

you'd think they'd just have the faces on it

and now an advert for total bellas

smackdown continues to have a tenuous relationship with the word 'next'

ok, here we are

they don't want none, which will make this open challenge awkward

they love them some aj styles down in little rock

does his cena-lite intro while reminding us that kevin isn't allowed into the picture

and here's...tye?

you, sir, are no baron corbin

but sure, why not

he's not got his ppv disco vampire coat on, so take that as you will

and here comes a man who very much is baron corbin

scuffle ensues

and baron learns a valuable lesson about turning up to shit on time

aj punches baron in the face, tye gets in the ring, bell is rung

that bell has the power of a god

incredibly fast-paced fight ensues, ending in about two minutes with tye tapping to a calf crusher

seriously, that was like it was on fast forward

baron throws tye into the barricade, takes a phenomenal forearm for his trouble

and throws a tantrum and ringside

baron corbin is very much the male alicia fox

aj just stands there with the belt like what up

and now jinder talks to rusev in the locker room

jinder does a speech about nationalism, rusev's just like stfu, i don't like you but i hate these guys more

let's fuck them up so i can take your belt

but up next, booby rooooooooo

cut back from ads, the kanellises are here

we have been deprived most of their awesome trash music

speaking of whGLORIOUS

bobby comes down in his sparkly dressing gown, starts doing a flair strut

what a twat

love that gregg gets in on it, announcing him as BOBBY ROOOOOOOOoooooooood

best ring announcer in the company right there

wow, mike is wearing some truly eye-bleeding hot pink tights

and wasn't he feuding with sami five seconds ago?

bobby has already said 'glorious' four times

maybe stop it and wrestle

mike deploying his unique fighting style of 'just punch them in the face a lot'

bobby does a top rope blockbuster, because this is apparently a thing he does now

and glorious dt for the pin

that match joins the illustrious roster of ones this episode that have certainly happened

and bobby stands on the corner like look at my weird triceps for a while

but now, kevin is backstage

byron like welp we were meant to have a mach next but guess kevin's coming

cut from ads, and here are aiden english, his pipes, and his john lennon shades

but not for long, as we hit the kevining

aiden's stood there like excuse you peasant

kevin opens by assuring him that nobody in arkansas has the cultural erudition to appreciate him, so he should just go

works surprisingly well

kevin is pissed because of the ref shenanigans last week/in this whole angle

have a long vt of said topic

mostly notable for shane's facial expressions and a+ powerslide

kevin appeals to the legitimacy and logic of the wrestling referee's profession

it's apparently the first anniversary of kevin winning the universal belt

and he's like well this would have never happened on raw why am i on this trash show

criticises shane for shamelessly abusing his own power, i can't argue

oh hey, here's shane to shamelessly abuse his power

and get cheap pops

shane's like hey dude don't blame me for your poor life choices

now please leave my ring we don't want to hear you talk more

and aiden, get back in, your fighting sami

and here he is

kevin's stomped off to take a spiot on announce, so everything is good

immediately picks a fight with byron

sami is taking remarkably little abuse to gather the power to overcome aiden english

we should use that as a metric for power levels

kevin despairs at the poor performance apparently displayed by the ref, so he gets in the ring, steals the man's shirt and declares himself the ref

sure, that's totally how it works

sami stops fighting to be like what the actual fuck is your problem, gets unsurprisingly blindsided

and then powerbombed by kevin

aiden's like sure whatever, goes for the pin

kevin counts at the speed of sound, end match

ooh, aiden's got his solo music back

so drama

kevin gives the ref his shirt back, swags off

up next, that tag match before the tag match

after this ad for jeff hardy having an ic title shot, just in case you'd convinced yourself that was a dream

and now burger king tells us how great sergeant slaughter was

would pribably be even more popular today, which is something of an indictment

and now, renee interviews shane

he's like that match never happened, i'm going after kevin, talk among yourselves

and now dasha interviews dolph

guys, learn what 'next' means

dolph is not in fact unveiling his new thing this week because fuck arkansas

but here, have a standard ziggler-issue rant

proposes he should ride a motorbike to the ring playing a double-neck guitar

hey, i'd watch it

steps to finn's charisma

fuck you, dolph

dolph enigmatically promises something for next week, end thing

and now here are the usos

and a replay of their summerslam match, tom actually makes the mistake of mentioning that it as basically the best match on the show, even though it was on the kickoff

e's pouring cereal over the fans again

seems like it's been a while

xavier's got a kneebrace on, but more conspicuous than that is the massive IT'S SORE sign round his neck

like, it seems like you should notice these things in the opposite order

the last ref was apparently too traumatised to continue, since we've got charles in now

cut to ads, and we come back on jimmy already shitkicking big e because fuck you, tv audience

kofi tags in to do some standard gravity-fucking shit

fuck it, this match is moving far too fast for me to narrate

tbf, that's been true of p much every match tonight

does the smackdown editing staff have even more add than usual

and dirty rollup by jimmy for the pin

end thing, apparently

dasha tries to introduce carmella for an interview, ellsworth's like um no and does it himself

asks her her plans, she's like nope i am never telling you secrets again

throwaway line about ellsworth stealing flowers from a funeral hiome

nattie turns up, promises to make carmella the baron corbin of the women's division

makes a match for next week, ellsworth like oh cool next week, well in that case shutting up

and then naomi turns up to announce a title rematch in a fortnight

fuck, this is moving fast

and up next, fashion files season 2 begins

breather while this myc advert happens

but actually now, lana is here?

what the fuck is going on with this episode

she's here to do a dodgy hyperbolic intro for tamina

greeted by little rock with a resounding piss break

oh, and here's a jobber

tina stock, we hardly knew ye

lana's doing the manager barking orders thing, but with a mic so none of us can avoid it

tells tamina to crush, this was apparently some kind of trigger word, because she goes berserk

and one superkick later, end match

with loads of super ugly bumps packed into its 90 seconds

and lana's got her girl some paparazzi

well this is weird

also, tamina, that cravate throw is totally nia's thing, get your own

and now, fashion files

and its early 90s credits

still not starring chuck norris

fashion files: back 2 basics

dango's stacking boxes with all their shows in

tyler proposes a vacation together, dango's like nope

tyler unveils the new gadgets from the lab

including some headphones, a blacklight, friendship bracelets, and a belt

this is really cute

tyler kills the lights so he can play with the blacklight

finds a circle of arrows on their old files, gets stuck for a while

and then a hidden message

Two B Or Not Two B

which variously leads them to shinsuke, aiden english, and bob ross

they roll out, dango puts a second pair of sunglasses on and clips another to his shirt

but up next, the main event

but of course, we have some ads before that, because otherwise you wouldn't recognise smackdown

including the raw version of the hurricane appeal, for some reason

someone's getting fired

and an ad for 205 live, with a disembodied voice doing it instead of a semi-bothered wrestler for once

back from ads, and we've missed most of shinsuke's entrance

this will not stand

but to be fair, we've also missed all of the heels'

randy gets a full intro though

were they just ranked in terms of how close to arkansas their home town is?

barely gets in the ring before brawling breaks out

given every other segment in this show, i expect the main event to last about 2.6 minutes

and they start the match during yet another break

seriously, smackdown does not give a shit for you, tv viewer

and by 'you' i very much mean 'me'

but clearly we needed to see this long-ass headlock

this match is actually moving at a speed i can narrate, but i also don't give a shit

randy spinebusters jinder on the barricade, gets massive pops because douchebag face v foreigner

the singhs interfere because randy and jinder only have one match, and they want rusev and shinsuke to get out of the way so they can do it

byron claims rusev had a statue of himself built in his hometown

huge if true

jbl responds by casually claiming to have had a bunch of statues made of himself

horrifying if true

jinder tags in to switch his long-ass headlock for a long-ass hammerlock

got to keep your moveset diverse

shinsuke gets a hot tag off jinder basically deciding to break his own shoulder on the post

the match turns into just shinsuke/rusev, which it should really stay

so much more promise there

naturally, jinder reappears as i type that

randy takes him out with the draping ddt, kinshasa to rusev for the win

i was exaggerating before, but not by much

that match was officially short as fuck

awkward randy/shinsuke faceoff ensues

they both grin, respect is given, aaaaand rko because randy is fundamentally a tool

crowd are not sure how to take this

love american man but also love charisma for miles, what do

well, that episode...certainly happened

from a raw highlighted by a contract signing to a smackdown featuring tyler breeze accidentally hypnotising himself

what a time to be alive