#anyways he messaged me sort of out of nowhere and we've just sort of been chatting and recently we've been chatting

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

theres an inherent intimacy to listening to the music that someone else enjoys in this essay i will-

[mutipede]

Imagine for a second that you're in a friend group. Another person - who you don't know as well as others, they're sorta younger and have sort of a dynamic of "they were recently in a different shitty friend group where people kept being an asshole both to their face and behind their back, and triggering them by joking about underage sex shit, so another friend transplanted them out of that group and into ours" - so you don't know them that well personally, but you're sympathetic to the shitty situation they were in and they're cool and everything's cool.

They fairly regularly vent about their partner at the time, who is still friends with their old shitty friend group, and treats them badly - not standing up for them, basically ignoring them most of the time even though they were in a relationship - and most notably and severely, going along with the pedo jokes and shit, while using autism as an excuse for being insensitive even after the person they're dating has made it clear multiple times that they are bothered by this (for obvious reasons, you would think, goddamn).

Everyone, of course, unanimously agrees that this is fucked up, they don't deserve to be treated like this, and you do your best to be supportive. Eventually they break up and this person starts making more new friends outside of the group that you are in as well, and you think COOL they seem to be doing well and much happier and that's awesome.

Fast forward some random amount of time. You are messaged on steam by a friend you'd lost contact with for a very long time. Not for any particular reason specific to that person or anything -

(actually pretty sure it was just because I lost almost all the friends I'd had back then because of an abusive girlfriend doing the whole 'if she doesn't like someone or gets into an argument with someone then I can't talk to them anymore either' and 'telling me people said or did fucked up things about me so I don't trust them' and 'telling other people I said or did fucked up things that I didn't so they don't want to talk to me' isolation shit, but anyways)

- They message you, you catch up a little, they also knew and were sorta-friends with another person in your current friend group, and you'd played some TTRPGs back in the day, so you go "hey maybe they'd be interested in hanging out and possibly joining up the RPG we currently have going (which is my absolute fucking favorite thing to do fuckin seriously all of the 'obsessed with friends OCs' and 'RPG with friends IS 100% my hyperfixation' and 'fandom consisting of like three people' and we had that shit going for like 3 years and FUCK.) because the GM has been talking recently about wanting to get more people into it."

So you invite them to the discord server and everyone gets along pretty well right away and you're remembering inside jokes from like a decade ago and everything seems

GOOD

Until they start acting like an idiot. Shit like. Shooting at a friendly NPC outta nowhere (and the GM going "yes okay you do this thing despite the effects that it will most likely have on the people who have been playing this game for years and are actually taking it seriously" for... some reason) - y'know, the kind of thing that I believe would be termed "THAT GUY" shit. Straight up gets his character killed in like the 2nd session he plays, is completely unbothered "oh well I don't care I'll just make a new character"

But like the IDIOT that I (oh wait, you're being me in this retelling) - that you are, you go "Aww shit but that character could've been interesting and had cool potential and you barely even had a chance to get started, that sucks, that seems like a waste, and you're coming into an established game and just don't know the atmosphere we've had going so that explains the dumbass behavior and you can quit fucking doing that now right?" - AND the GM has so far been playing with the rest of us who have been taking shit seriously, give a shit about our characters and the story and everything, therefore doesn't seem to really want to kill off a PC either - so his character gets resurrected and... goes on to continue to do stupid shit.

Which wouldn't even necessarily be that big a deal. He wasn't around for a lot of the scheduled day and time the whole group had been playing (every saturday. for years. Fuck.) so he mostly did random stuff semi-related to the main party and storyline shit on random days he was around. Except the stupid shit he ended up deciding to do included...

Alright, so. From the beginning, there had been established in the game universe, an ultimate Big Fuckin' Bad that was designed to be unbeatable. Like "it has more defense than anything else, literally like you have to get a crit success to do 1 damage, and all of its skills are "murder" so it rolls 8 dice every turn and it will murder you and even if you get unfathomably lucky and kill one it is a time traveling killbot hivemind there are an unlimited number of them it will murder you". It was not designed to be a thing that we could defeat. Hell, it wasn't even designed as a thing we were originally really supposed to even actually fight. It was like one of those "punish players for doing one specific thing that the GM doesn't want us to do" things, and so far up to that point no one had.

Until this guy did exactly that. Yeah, that was what killed his character.

And then he decided to side with it.

And the GM let him.

And the fucked up things he started doing got more fucked up. Like, actually making me severely uncomfortable fucked up. Like "trying to mind control a friendly NPC and force him to commit suicide", to give an example.

I tried talking to him about it. Oh wait I forgot again, you're being me. YOU try to talk to him about it. You are aware that he is also autistic so you say, verbatim, "I know it's tough for you to tell when I'm playing my character in-game as upset vs. when I myself am actually IRL ACTUALLY upset so would it help if I specified" and he goes YEAH so then you make sure to go "Yeah this is actually making me actually uncomfortable that is actually fucked up" and...

nothing changes.

You try talking to the GM about it, not only from a "this is starting to fuck with me" perspective, but on a gameplay level - this guy got his character killed. Immediately. He didn't give a shit when that happened. Now he's used this whole "getting killed and coming back" thing to side with an unstoppable murder machine. He can do literally whatever he wants and no one can do anything about it. He's essentially been rewarded for not giving a fuck about his character, or the game as a whole, or anyone else's enjoyment. He has been doing shitty roleplaying and is being rewarded for it.

And the GM goes "Oh, shit! You're right!"

...And nothing changes.

(On another occasion, when you try to talk to the GM about it again, he actually says "The guy's autistic, give him a break" - if I can redirect attention to the beginning of this post and the established "someone using autism as an excuse to trigger someone else is unanimously understood to be unacceptable" thing..)

You try talking to the other most active player. Who, by the way, already had his character established as intended to be a twist villain the whole time. Like it's an open secret and the GM knew from the beginning and he's a good roleplayer and it's got some cool thematic parallels and fun story stuff with YOUR character so you're cool with it and looking forward to the challenge of either having a final epic battle against your friend OR seeing if you can find a nonviolent solution in the end, and because he's also been playing seriously for years and has gradually and organically becoming more powerful over time along with your character, you know he'll play fairly and it'll be fun and good story shit, and here's this jackass who has barged in and completely stolen the twist villain thunder and become stupid-unstoppable-OP in the equivalent of two days - so yeah that's shitty for him, too.

You, also verbatim, say how you've been getting actually triggered by some of the shit this guy has been doing, and don't know if you're overreacting or being unreasonable or selfish (which is, in itself, something that you have historically spiraled about) - since "it's just a game maybe I'm wrong for taking it too seriously or personally" and "his character is a villain he's doing villainous things and what if me getting upset is interfering with HIS fun"

I mean, ignoring that everything he's doing is interfering with everyone else's fun, but you have started to get into "I am wrong and selfish and everything I do and feel and think is unreasonable" trauma brain territory.

But, you (also verbatim) make the comparison that - making you deal with a villain character who's doing the kind of shit he's doing seems similar to making [person I mentioned at the beginning of this post] deal with a pedo villain character. Especially since that person's ex was continually triggering them and using autism as an excuse, and this guy has been continually triggering you and using autism as an excuse. And because yes, sure, villains do fucked up things, but this is a game and everyone is supposed to be having a good time and he is taking shit way too far. And he, at the time, emphatically agrees with you.

But doesn't say anything about anything to the GM.

And nothing changes.

You start to pick up on other shit the guy says and does outside of the game. He was (I think?) studying to be a psychiatric nurse, and worked in some sort of psychiatric facility. He says... man I don't even know how to explain it, but like... weirdly dismissive things about patients, getting into physical altercations with patients, and talks about how much he doesn't care when people in general complain to him about their life situations and similar shit. You start to wonder how much of his holy shit extreme asshole behavior in the game is reflective of his actual self in actual reality. You feel like an asshole for thinking this. You look around like "is anyone else noticing this shit? Is anyone else bothered by this?" No one seems to be noticing this shit. No one seems to be bothered by it. Or at least, if they are, no one is bothered enough to do anything.

Because nothing

fucking

changes.

Finally. Fucking finally. The GM decides to have a big dumb battle where the guy's character gets killed again (or fuckin you know "stuck in a dimension with his murder bot" so he is STILL essentially being rewarded because his character got what he wanted anyways) but fuck it who cares you don't have to deal with him anymore and he's making a new character that doesn't sound like an asshole so you hope that everyone can move on and have an actual good time.

Until he keeps talking about his asshole character. And when you - who have absolutely not made a secret of the fact that you have been increasingly uncomfortable with the whole situation the whole time - ask if he can just not talk about that character when you're around - he drops this meme

Because fuck you, fuck your enjoyment of the game that you'd been playing for years and regret ever inviting him to because his stupid fucking jackass character was allowed to irrevocably alter it forever for some. fucking. reason

You blow the fuck up and block him. He leaves the server. The game eventually picks back up but it's not really the same. You fucking want it to be the same, goddamn it, because you cared about it and you thought the other players cared about it but now the GM has this weird spiteful undercurrent, and has turned it into "I'm trying to kill you because that one fucking guy and him only didn't take it seriously so I'm gonna punish everyone by dialing up the difficulty and going back on things I'd previously said to nerf your character" but there's still shit you want to do and experience and shit you're looking forward to and this has been a beloved pasttime and a source of stability and JUST. FUCKING. FUN GODDAMMIT you don't want to give up on it

And then about a year later.

Many other incredibly stressful events have occurred in your life. You are not doing well. That is an understatement. You are falling apart. You try and communicate this to the only close friends you believe you have. Including specifically saying at least 2 or 3 times that you have been more and more suicidal and experiencing worsening paranoia and feel like you don't exist. You are mostly ignored. You try and hold shit together. If you pretend things are alright then maybe things will be alright. Everyone is having a hard time. You are aware that everyone is having a hard time and you don't want to make it worse. But holy fuck

One friend ghosts you for a month. You have no idea if it has anything to do with you or not, you have no idea if he's alright, you have no idea if he's alive. You're not important enough to communicate with. Other guy gets pissed that no one is talking and decides to start an argument with you about something unrelated. You make a convenient scapegoat, because your presence or absence in anyone's life is irrelevant anyone can treat you in any way without having to worry about consequences.

Sorry, "you" here still referring to me. You can stop being me anytime. I recommend it! I'm stuck though.

The whole situation I wrote about gets brought up. And actually, even though you could scroll back and find evidence that actually your memory of the events is accurate, actually it turns out that never actually happened, and actually:

You unilaterally invited that guy against the GM's will. He hadn't been talking about expanding the game and inviting more people. Everyone didn't initially get along.

You never explained, in detail, multiple times, to multiple people, what was wrong and how uncomfortable you were. You just acted weird and refused to say anything.

The term "triggered" is a specific medical / psychological terminology. When you said, multiple times and as clearly as you possibly could "no seriously this is actually bringing up traumatic shit from a previous abusive relationship and I am actually severely uncomfortable" you weren't using the term correctly because people who are triggered by something want to avoid any mention or discussion of the thing that triggers them because that discussion is in itself triggering. ...Oh, your reaction to a trigger not being what someone expects doesn't make that thing not triggering? You don't expect to be able to completely avoid the specific situation(s) or complex collection of circumstances and feelings that are triggering, so you'd rather talk about it if or when it comes up so people know what's going on and can hopefully work through it? Oh. Well, then, you aren't using the term correctly because you weren't, like, sexually assaulted. ...Oh, you were. Oh. I guess you are allowed to use the terminology. Let's all just breeze past the whole making you disclose that in order to be taken seriously thing. Which you still won't be, by the way, since:

You didn't adequately explain how and why you were triggered (please ignore the previous portion of the argument where I argued that if you were really triggered then you shouldn't be capable of talking about it at all) so how did you expect anyone to ever understand it or take it seriously or take it into account when trying to understand your behavior? (ha ha you thought that anyone would "take things into account" or "try to understand your behavior" in the first place)

You attempt, at one point, to make the comparison again "[other friend]'s ex continued triggering them despite their attempts to communicate their discomfort and used autism as an excuse, everyone agreed this was fucked up and unacceptable. [That guy] continued triggering me despite my attempts to communicate my discomfort, and it was all "c'mon he's autistic give him a break". This made me feel like a lower tier friend."

[Other friend] who had not previously been involved in the argument, hadn't been active in the discord channel where this conversation was taking place at the time and you weren't even aware they were online pops in to "hey what the fuck why are you bringing up and reminding me of my ex who treated me badly for no reason". The guy who you previously made the exact same comparison to, who agreed with you, is present. He says nothing. That would interfere with everyone dogpiling you for everything you say. You are not a thing that people stand up for. That's a thing that people do for friends. That's a thing people do for things that matter.

If in response to all of these events you say that you don't feel like you have friends, though, that's hurtful. It is hurtful to communicate that you have been hurt. You might make an actual person who actually matters feel bad.

Sorry, you can stop being me now.

Fuck. I originally started writing all of this out to attempt to work through shit and figure shit out and maybe get some 3rd party input (although I wouldn't blame anyone if they quit reading ages ago - or didn't even start reading in the first place hah, this is long as fuck) but there just... isn't any explanation for this, really, is there? What the fuck justification could there be for doing things to me that were openly called unacceptable when they were done to someone else, other than I was just. Not viewed as a thing that mattered.

Fuck.

[mayajadewrites]

Never Say Never - Suguru Geto x Reader

Chapter Three: Study

Chapter Summary: Suguru and reader go to the café to study for finals, and we get a bit of Geto's POV in this chapter! Smut coming soon hehe

ao3

"Sugu, you want to study with me tonight? Our favorite café?" I looked at Suguru across the hallway. Finals are coming up and you're nowhere near ready.

"You don't have a date tonight?" His eyes never left his phone screen.

"A date with my textbooks." I roll my eyes. "It's a yes or no question."

"I have nothing better to do." Suguru slid his phone in his pocket, turning his back to me.

Since Gojo's birthday, Suguru has been quieter than usual. He's retreated to his room, which is arguably his safe haven, and is doing God knows what.

Debatably, I miss my best friend. I've been spending some of my time with Toji, getting to know him and avoiding the two of us in bed together. I'm not the type to sleep with just anyone, I need mental, emotional, and physical connection.

I slip on my favorite oversized sweater with jeans and combat boots. I find my tote bag and put it over my shoulder, waiting for Suguru at his door.

He opened his bedroom door and look startled when I was waiting for him.

"Sugu, stop being weird." I cross my arms over my chest. "I've barely seen you. We've barely seen you."

"I'm fine." His backpack hit his back before he brushed past me. I felt his arm touch my skin, leaving goosebumps.

The café is pretty quiet, just the way Suguru and I like it. He orders my coffee for me and brings it to our table. I pull out my laptop and open up my assignments, sighing at the screen.

Suguru sat in front of me, bringing his laptop out of his backpack. I glanced at him before he could notice, observing his chocolate eyes.

Why am I staring at Suguru?

His face looks like he was crafted by Greek Gods, so much work must've went into creating him.

I've always found Suguru handsome. I would never admit it out loud, but it's true. He's tall, has the most beautiful long black hair, and his face is one that I could stare at forever.

He could sense me staring at him and my heart almost stops.

"Do you like what you see?" Suguru smiles for the first time in forever. His long black hair cascades past his shoulders with a little bun holding some pieces. His front pieces frame his face, moving with his words.

I blush, going back to my typing. I've never seen Suguru like this. I've never looked at him in a way that made my core pulse with need.

When he looks down at his laptop screen, I look at Suguru again. He's wearing a black t-shirt that barely covers his biceps. My eyes follow the veins on his arms to his large hands, his fingers typing quickly.

I wish those fingers were in me.

Am I just horny because Toji and I haven't slept together yet?

A message pops up on my screen, interrupting my thoughts.

Sugu: Stop eye-fucking me before I take you in the bathroom right now.

I freeze, trying my best not to let Suguru know that he's not only right, but I wish I could jump his bones right this very second.

Me: Over my dead body.

Sugu: That can be arranged.

I can't help but feel some sort of attraction to Suguru at this moment. Maybe I've always felt this way and didn't do anything about it, but I'm not gonna be the one to admit my feelings first. They might be fleeting feelings anyways.

Geto

God, is she gorgeous.

I've had a crush on her since we were in high school, but being best friends kind of ruins any idea of a relationship. Losing her would be like losing half of me, which at the time I didn't think was a good gamble.

But when I saw her with Toji, a man who looks like he has a roster of women at his beck and call, those feelings resurfaced and I felt them in my mouth.

To be fair, I've brought plenty of women home. Mostly one night stands, and I know she heard me with them. I never thought about her feelings towards that because my romantic feelings were idle. I assumed she was fucking men outside of the house, so my worries subsided.

Now is different. Now, I want to kiss her every time I see her.

Now I want to feel myself inside of her.

Now I want to build something with her.

It might be too late, but oh well.

She took a sip of her coffee, leaving foam on her lips. "You have something right here," I took my finger and wiped it off her lips, then sucking on my own finger. "Cinnamon."

My dick was already hard thinking about what her pussy tastes like and eating her till she's screaming.

"Suguru." She sat up, fixing her hair. "What are you doing?"

"Helping my friend not look stupid." I smirked, going back to my typing.

She sighed, going back to her studying. Her tan skin glowed against the light in the café, and her hair framed her face beautifully as it made its way down past her chest. I watched her chest move up and down as she breathed, slowly and relaxed. I could watch her all day.

The bell to the café rang, signaling someone walking in.

Of fucking course.

You

"Hello gorgeous." Toji sliced your thoughts, pulling a chair up to your table. "I was on my way to my friends house when I thought I'd stop by for a coffee."

"Hi, Toji." I smiled as he kissed me on the cheek. Suguru's face was like stone. "This is Suguru Geto, my best friend and roommate."

"Nice to meet you. Toji Fushiguro." Toji reached his hand out, half smiling.

Suguru didn't say a word, but took his hand roughly, shaking it.

I watched the two as they interacted without saying anything verbal to each other.

An unspoken argument.

"Want me to stop by tonight?" Toji finally spoke, turning to me. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too. Not tonight, I'm not feeling my best." I waved my hand. "I'll text you." I reassured him with a smile.

"Okay, I gotta get going. Have a good day beautiful, and it was nice meeting you Suguru."

Suguru nodded, still not speaking.

Toji got his coffee and left after what seemed like ages.

I kicked Suguru's leg under the table, receiving a glare in return. "What the hell was that?"

"Did you want me to hug him?"

"No, I wanted you to at least be nice."

"Why?"

"I'm nice to all the women you bring home." I cross my arms over my chest. "I even pretend I can't hear you fucking their brains out."

"Touché." Suguru nods. He leans forward at the table, insinuating I should do the same. "That should be you." He whispers.

Chills are sent down my spine as he says that, my arousal dampening my panties.

This man is teasing me and having fun with it.

"I'd rather fuck a man with a dick bigger than 4 inches." I whisper.

"Oh baby, add about 5 inches to that." He winked, and I think my pussy heard that before me, because I was soaking.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

[doodleoogles]

One Truth to a Dozen Lies

I was slightly disoriented when I opened my eyes. There's a terrible pounding in my head and I couldn't remember where I am. I looked up and saw a glass window on the wall above me, the sky outside is bright and beautiful. Morning? I winced as I forced my right arm up to look at my wristwatch. 7:28AM. OK, the specific time of day has been sorted out but I wanted to know where the hell I am.

I stretched and tried to pull myself up but the throbbing in my head intensified. I managed a loud groan before lying flat on my back.

"Oh hey.." a kind voice greeted. I twisted my neck to the right so I can see who's talking. Damn hangover, I felt paralyzed.

I recognized him, he's the guy my friend kept asking me to meet years ago. We have been friends in Instagram even before the pandemic but we never really got to hang out. I think I was so busy back then or maybe I just wasn't interested in him. I'm guessing it's the latter. Recently, he messaged me again (prolly saw my vindictive Stories and all), and I finally agreed to meet. I need some distraction anyway.

I've seen his pictures and he doesn't look bad. We met in person a few weeks ago and he's actually cute. We conversed like we've known each other for awhile and I've been honest on why I wanted to hang out with him . I said I wanted a distraction, I want to meet people and talk to a stranger about stuff. He can be THAT stranger, he said. Turns out, he's a good listener too.

Last night was the second time we hang out. I was with my friends from work and we were looking for some good spot in Makati to drink. He lives around the area so I asked him for some recommendations. He mentioned he has an acoustic set at a nearby bar and we can come watch if we like. My friends agreed and we drowned two bottles of tequila and holy fuck that's the last shit I remember. Now here I am, fully clothed, including my socks, wrapped in a blanket on someone else's bed.

He must've noticed me peering under the blanket for a bit, "Don't worry, I didn't do anything. You were so wasted, I just took you home so you can rest." He said as he sat on the edge of the bed. Actually, it's not really a bed, it's a memory foam mattress propped on the wooden floor. I looked around and noticed some similarities from a distant memory I'm trying to erase. His room is about 20sqm. The mattress is next to the wall where a small window is situated above it. A window type aircon hums gently on the opposite wall. The mattress cover is dark gray, paired with gray blankets, and pillows. His work station is a few steps away. There's a laptop and a monitor on the computer table and a black gaming chair is right in front of it. Do all work from home guys set up their rooms like this??

He looked bothered by my silence. "You okay?"

"Ah yeah, just some bad hangover." I rubbed my temples. "And don't worry I believe nothing happened. It's that time of the month for me. Would've been too damn messy."

Instead of being offended, he seemed fascinated by my crudeness. He smiled shyly, "Wanna get something to eat?"

I shook my head, "No it's okay. I need to get going." I wanted to sit up but my head felt like it's going to split in half. I lie on my side, facing him while I rub my scalp. "I will stand up when I can. Hold on."

He laughed, "Take your time." he lie beside me. He's gentleman enough to keep a good distance between us. He stared, "What kind of sorcery is this?"

"Huh?" I frowned.

"You just woke up and you're absolutely gorgeous. It's not fair." he said, smiling oh-so-sweetly.

Wow, sweet baby jesus, someone's playing a mean trick on me. I almost threw up both from the hangover and the ironic similarity of things I've been trying to avoid for more than a month now. I massaged my scalp with both hands, "You know the last guy who said that is now nowhere to be found? Poof, like he disappeared from the face of the earth. Turned out to be a complete asshole. So please, I'm quite allergic to such compliments."

He sat up abruptly, like the mattress is suddenly piping hot. "Well I'm sorry for stating a fact. Never mind. Coffee? Hot water? Anything?"

The only thing I need is to leave as soon as possible. All these Deja vu is making my skin crawl. I borrowed a sweater from him since I will be riding a good 1+ hour on a motorcycle to get home. He asked to take a picture before I leave so we could show it to our mutual friend as proof that we finally met in person. I obliged and my ride arrived right after we took the photo. I waved him goodbye and went on my merry way.

My phone buzzed a few minutes after I left. He sent our picture in Instagram. I stared at it and smiled to myself. Damn, I do look good - hung over, messy hair, slightly flushed cheeks, and a half smile. The fucker may have lied about so many things but at least he got one thing right. 😉

[un-pearable]

season 7: the thoughts continue

i feel like the quantity and quality of brief stupid & irrelevant team exchanges went up and i am SO here for it. jay has redeemed his poor choices from last season purely by virtue of being part of 50 to 75% of these, for the record. this has been so extremely enjoyable i dont even know where to begin.

the concept of the "hands of time" being twins with symmetrical time powers is honestly. so cool and even if the execution was mid i am still so Extremely glad this exists. because its very cool. i do wish they had better designs though usually the ninjago designs are. well most of the time theyre not spectacular but they're generally fine. these guys are ugly tho.

the snake dudes / one dudette whose names escape me at the moment annoyed me. i dont like them. also why is it that 1) they gave the snake girl titties. real question. i dont think she needs tits made of snakes. stop it and 2) there was only 1 (one) girl. where are my useless female grunts !!!!!

so many time puns. too many time puns. infinite time puns. you can watch my sanity wear away in real time. NO WAIT I SAID TIME DAMMI

^ responding to a message unrelated to ninjago

honestly. okay im gonna be blunt i am very disappointed in this season mainly because i was hoping to get like. sibling foils and stuff COME ON WE'VE GOT THREE DIFFERENT SIBLING PAIRS HERE . WE'VE GOT TIME BROTHERS WHOSE NAMES ALSO ESCAPE ME. WE'VE GOT KAI AND NAYA. WE'VE GOT WU AND GARMADON. AND THESE TERRIBLE WRITERS COULDNT EVEN GIVE ME ONE PAIR OF FOILS. COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

anyways yeah no i am very very disappointed. three pairs. Three of them. and not a single foil in sight. like man why'd you even bother. its like they wanted to do something with them all being siblings but couldnt think of anything past them all being siblings. yknow. its like "ohh wow kai and naya are fighting those time guys !! oh huh what? you mean we should have some thematic or narrative reason for this? ah screw that they're both sibling pairs thats good enough" NO ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. ITS NOT

regarding kai and naya it also annoys me because we didnt really get much of them bonding as siblings because 80% of it was about their parents, who i am ALSO supremely disappointed in, even if im not particularly surprised. like . ok . ok ok. head in hands. they just Left kai and naya because time brother #1 (whose name again escapes me), who, notably does not have any more elemental powers, said "haha im gonna kill them" despite the fact that BOTH of them were there and definitely could've taken him out, and instead decided to go help him build weapons for him to take over ninjago with. for real. really. Really . like MAN at least if they were evil that woudlve been INTERESTING. come ONNNNNNNN. come on. come onnnnnn screw that. and then all kai and naya got this season was "oh wow epic our parents are still here. ok well since the writers arent going to do anything interesting with that we're all gonna be buddy buddy now. tee hee"

really annoyed with wu this season btw. take this discord screenshot that encapsulates my thoughts pretty well

like okay i dont hold him not telling anybody anything at the beginning of the season against him too much because like thats the beginning of the next tacked on season that the authors had not originally had plans for and whats a ninjago season if it doesnt start with wu saying "there's something i havent told you yet" + usually they're stories that he could've reasonably thought wouldn't have become relevant again, but this is just unacceptable. bro get a grip if their master dies out of nowhere when they weren't expecting it then methinks it will distract them. just a little bit.

also this

the ninjago timeline is honestly a joke. its like . MAN it doesnt even begin to make sense its like wu and garmadon's dad is a sort of demigod who created the whole world but also they're only 80 years old and apparently ancient ninjago was 40 years ago and lloyd fits into this picture. somehow. (????????????????????????????) because to say it is terribly unclear when garmadon went full deranged is. well. an understatement of the century. and . yknow what why am i even bothering, honestly. whatever. who cares (me i do)

i didnt like. dislike the season but this one really suffered from a lack of a coherent vision. most of the season kind of felt like they did nothing and WAIT I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE DAY OF THE DEAD SPECIAL. IM SO MAD I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT COLE BEING A GHOST NOW. AND THEN THEY DIDNT. NOT AT ALL. NOT EVEN LIKE A PROPER IDENTITY CRISIS OR ANYTHIGN. THEY FIXED IT IN A SPECIAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A SPECIAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay that aside. im glad pixal has something to do now instead of just being inside zane's brain. good for her good for her.

im also SO glad they didnt just undo the whole arc with the reversing time blade. thank the lord above i was half expecting them to despite the fact that they literally just did that Last Season. also also i LOVE jay's mom she showed up for .4 minutes, was terribly annoying, and i love it. i love her. i want more annoying women in media please and thank you you can really tell she's jay's mom. i want them to meet so bad.

btw lloyd deserves such a break. he needs it. he should go on vacation or something let everybody else figure it out. they'll probably die without him but idk he needs it. actually speaking of, this was my takeaway from this season

also question about the reversing time blade. theoretically if you punch a recently deceased corpse with it could you bring them back to life?

and, on a final note, take this

THE THOUGHTS ARE VERY MUCH WELCOME

the goofiness the ninja deserve. if the show isn't at least 45% silly character interactions by runtime it isn't even ninjago anymore.

they are!!! they are such a great concept. execution mixed and yeah the designs are. lacking. but once again they knock it out of the park with the show's concepts. notwithstanding the snitties.

i see my pun riddled future. i live in excited fear of it. you are also the funniest person on the planet adksfjds

mhm. mhhhm. what i wouldn't give for this show to figure out what they're doing with the character foiling bc half the time its got a good start but fumbles bc time/medium constraints but 99% of the show's good potential foiling?? is completely squandered??? their reliance on the secret parent reveals over time only gets more frustrating as it continues but for a show that's so oriented on familial bonds BOY do they constantly ignore any and all actual meaning they could explore about them. comparing nya and kai w/ everyone else could be fascinating but that means confronting character traits and we've been. heh. watering down kai ever since he stopped being the main character so that's not allowed.

there is sooooo much to be said about their parents and while there is solace in it does get addressed a little. it is very much in ninjago's special way where they pretend nothing happened for multiple seasons. so that's fun. also now i want kai and nya to have to bond with lloyd over evil parents that'd be funny as hell.

glad you got your cardboard cutout parental figures guys. go ignore your potentially complex emotions about this experience over with jay in the lobby. it'll be your turn to be important again in 2-5 seasons and by then half the world will be retconned again <3

ahh yes. wu. tbh while i get its incredibly frustrating and purely a plot device i do think he's funny as hell for never telling them shit. 100% this guy never actually figured out what being a mentor was beyond how his god-dad treated him and his god-dad was omniscient and ominous about it so. yeah i get it. but any situation where misako can give you valid criticism is a bad one.

the infamous ninjago timeline... in one of the comics it fucks it up so bad that cole is born after lloyd. this place is a dumpster fire of time discrepancies this is what happens when you make time a manipulatable element. what the hell FSM. they have fuckin FOSSILS and also ancient history that the grandpa down the street lived through. either these legos have fuckin long ass lifespans or im just gonna keep blaming it on the fact that TIME IS AN ELEMENT. gravity is a fucking element. speed is a fucjin element. what's next is inertia an element. can their newest villain stop their spinjitzu in its tracks by sending them flying off in a single direction forever. mr self styled god what the fuck were you doing

everything about cole is a tragedy. and also confusing. obligatory return to the status quo i hate you.

I haven't even watched the entire season yet but oooooh jay's mom lives in my brain. she got her grubby little electricity master fingers on my synapses and i can't stop imagining melodramatic fic about her and her confusing as hell life. smthn smthn the lightning rod versus the storm that strikes it. miss child abandonment two, electric boogaloo, i would give you my house for an inch of your life story

the only takes on the ninja's braincell capacity I respect. people putting nya at the top of the list are missing out on her chaotic girl swag and the fact that she has recommended some of the stupidest shit imaginable. queen shit girl but cmon

yes. yes i believe it should and someone should go grab morros abandoned body to test it. this is a universally bad idea

lastly, tragically, i take back my earlier statement, zero offense meant but you have been dethroned as the funniest person on the planet

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hey would you mind writing for this prompt: Mafia AU with Sirius being the mob boss and he kidnaps this teenager who is James and falls in love with him ?? Thank You :)

((A/N: This is... almost entirely fluff, but be warned that in keeping with the prompt, there’s an age difference and power imbalance))

Generally speaking, Sirius didn't believe in kidnapping people. It was messy, it was a hassle, and it never turned out the way it should. It was always a pain in the arse. Even when it worked out, there was no telling what kind of trail would be left. There was always too much evidence left over, and that was dangerous. That was how people got caught. Sirius liked not getting caught over stupid shite, thanks.

Kidnapping was stupid. There were only a couple reasons to do it. 1. To send a message to the friends or family of the person you'd kidnapped. He liked giving messages in different ways, and he thought his way was more effective anyways. 2. To get a ransom. Ransoms and the negotiations that had to take place to get everything sorted was why there was a trail left over. Even if it wasn't a sting and the cops weren't involved. Even if everything went according to plan and you got the money and gave the person back, they had evidence that could be used against you the instant someone realised you were involved in it. Besides which, Sirius wasn't hurting for money. He liked to say that there was no such thing as too much, but the truth was that it wouldn't be worth it. Anyone that had a family that could pay also had friends in law enforcement, and while Sirius was sure he could wriggle out of any trouble that brought him, what would be the point when he could avoid it entirely? He didn't need the money, and the way he got money was much more secure than taking some random arse person and hoping that it all worked out all right. If things did go wrong-- as they so often did where kidnapping was involved-- then Sirius would find himself in prison for life with no chance of parole. Or dead. Yeah, not worth the trouble. That much, he was sure of.

He hated kidnapping. Hated it, hated it, hated it. He didn't think it was a secret.

So why, exactly, had some twat that worked for him kidnapped someone?

Sirius looked at the person who'd been kidnapped, then at the person who worked for him, expression cool. "You mind explaining this?" he asked.

"Well, you know boss, we've been having those problems with the Wolves, and-"

"He's not one of them," Sirius said.

His employee hesitated. "But- he was at Lupin's house. We were-"

"What you were supposed to do was observe," Sirius cut in. "I know for a fact that kidnapping was nowhere in your orders."

"Sorry boss," he said meekly.

"You're really lucky that you got the wrong kid, otherwise you'd be busy looking for new employment right now. Get out."

He started to move, then paused before he took a step. "Er, am I taking him with me, or...?"

"I'll take care of it," Sirius said.

"I've watched enough crime movies to know that when someone says they'll 'take care of it', they mean they're about to commit a murder, and as the only person here that you might murder, can I just say I'm not a fan of that plan?"

Sirius didn't say anything until the door was closed, and then he gave it a few more seconds. Then he took the time to look at who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got kidnapped. He'd only glanced at him long enough before to judge that he wasn't Lupin's kid, and that was all he'd needed. Now he had the time to see if he could place him. He didn't look familiar, but he was cute in a 'boy next door' sort of way. If Sirius were several years younger, he'd turn on the charm. As it was, well, there was no harm in looking before he got sent on his way. As Sirius did his looking, it was obvious that he was making "Relax kid, you're not getting murdered."

"Sounds like something you'd say to get me off my guard."

"I wouldn't bother with that," Sirius said.

"Oh?"

"You're not armed, and no offense, but I doubt you'd stand a chance even if you were. And if I ever plan on killing you," Sirius said, his voice dropping to something unintentionally low and personal, "I would say it straight to you. No games."

He swallowed thickly. There was interest mixed in with the fear. The kid was brave, he'd give him that much. "Good to know."

"What's your name?"

"James."

"What were you doing at that house?"

"Visiting my friend."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I take that to mean your friend is Lupin's kid."

"Do you have some problem with that?" James asked with a belligerent tilt of his head, like he was used to people taking the piss about his choice in friends.

"Did you know his father's in a mob family?"

"No offense, but are you one to talk?" he quipped, but a second later, he snapped his mouth closed. Probably remembering his fear from earlier. "Er I- I mean-"

"Relax, kid. You're fine. Did you know about his father?"

James continued to look uncomfortable for a few seconds. He wriggled around his chair like he wanted to scoot away but didn't trust that he'd be allowed to. Then he said, "Are you going to hurt him?"

"Your friend?" he asked, even though the answer would be same for the kid as for the father: no. Violence was part and parcel in this line of work, but murdering people in another family when all they're really doing is crossing his backyard, would escalate matters. Escalation meant putting all of his people in danger, not to mention himself. He liked his life the way it was now. Looking over his shoulder was one thing, waiting for a bullet to the head was quite another. He bit back the urge to remind James that the assignment had been to observe, not act.

James gave a jerky nod.

"No. What would I have against him? He's not messed up in this." Not yet, at least.

James chewed on his lip for a second, then said, "I knew his dad dealt, but that's pretty much it."

"Hm."

"What? It's the truth."

"Oh, I believe you. I'm just wondering if your friend knows."

"I doubt it," James said with a snort. "He never notices anything. Although, I think he'll notice when he doesn't hear from me."

"Subtle," Sirius said, a smirk curving around his mouth.

"I've never claimed to be otherwise," he grumbled. He crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

"You'll have to stay. For a little bit, while I figure out how to deal with this."

"If you let me go now, there wouldn't be anything to figure out," he said hopefully.

"I give you a pass for effort, but a fail in logic. There's always details to sort. It won't be long."

"Uh-huh, and how long is 'not long'?"

Sirius shrugged. It varied depending on the situation, and with an ill-advised kidnapping, there was no telling. Maybe he'd be able to let James go tonight like the kid wanted, or maybe it would be a week. "Couple days," is what he ended up saying. "In the meantime, come with me. You need to be out of the way."

"That phrasing doesn't make me feel better..."

"Unless you have some problem sitting on a sofa watching the telly, there's nothing to worry about," Sirius said dismissively.

This whole thing would be over and done with before he knew it. James would go on to his life, and Sirius would go on with his as he always had. He'd dealt with kidnappings before. There was a certain rhythm to getting everything straightened out again, it was only a question of how long it would take.

*

The main problem in Sirius's life-- other than cops in all their forms-- were his own emotions. They didn't like to play fair. They didn't seem to understand that they were on the same team as Sirius himself. He liked to think there was even a little bit of sabotage going on. What other reason could there be for what they were doing? They were trying to kill him. Hand to god, they were. Because if they weren't trying to kill him or otherwise sabotage him into making a terrible mistake that would end in his death, there was no reason for him to have started falling for James.

And he was.

Falling for him, that is. It was a really buggering bad idea, but here he was. It was a bad idea for like ten different reasons, ranging from James being underage and Sirius being so much older than him, to Sirius's choice of ungainful employment, to the fact that they only met because someone had kidnapped James.

...and he was still kidnapped. That was an unhelpful detail, but one that couldn't be ignored. They didn't have a meet-ugly that sparked interest in each other. They were still in the middle of their meet-ugly. Sirius didn't see how they would be in any other state to try and make a real relationship work.

They were fucked. Their relationship, if they wanted it to be positive in any way, was fucked from the start, and there was nothing Sirius could do to mitigate the damage or erase it entirely.

He didn't let it stop him from looking appreciatively, even though he should have. Probably. Or, y'know, logically. It was hard to convince himself to feel bad about it though, not when James would flirt back with him.

Sirius had been in a good relationship exactly zero times. He'd never really felt good the way he did with James.

Not that they were together. They weren't dating. James responding to his flirting in kind was self preservation, not an indication of interest. He knew that; it didn't stop him.

He had to take care of this before the fantasy in his mind started affecting his work. No matter how nice that fantasy was.

"All right kid," he said one day, when he got home. That was another thing: he let James stay with him instead of literally anywhere else. He'd never done that before, but he liked how James looked surrounded by his things. He'd be lying if he said that he didn't want to make James one of the things that belonged to him. He let that train of thought direct towards the back of his mind so he could focus. "The time has finally come."

"Oh yeah? You finally killing me?" James asked. The first couple days he'd been around Sirius, he'd been nervous. Jumpy, at times. He'd slowly relaxed, and now when he said that, it was purely a joke. He didn't flinch or look anxious, and he didn't even change how he was sitting. He was sprawled over the armchair, lounging against one arm so his legs could be thrown over the other arm. He didn't even bother to look up from the magazine article he was reading.

Sirius snorted. "Close. I'm letting you go home."

James jerked, looking up at him like Sirius had just declared the time of his execution. "What?"

"Home? Where your music's playing? Home, where your love lies waiting?"

James narrowed his eyes like he didn't think the lyric recitation was very uplifting. Sirius had thought it was funny. "I thought I was staying."

"Why'd you think that?"

"Because it's been ages! You told me a couple days like a month ago."

"All right, I admit, that's my bad. I thought the max would be a week, but I overestimated." He hadn't meant to keep James for a month, but it was easy to find excuses and hold on and on and convince himself that it was a good idea to let James stay. It had worked for a while, longer than Sirius had expected, but he couldn't delude himself. In this business, that would get him killed or caught. "That's my bad," he said, something that James probably didn't appreciate the rarity of. Sirius couldn't often admit he was wrong, even when he was and he knew it. "We'll get you out of here tomorrow."

"I don't want to go," he said immediately.

"Too bad, you're going. Kidnapping is bad for business."

The look James gave him could only be described as betrayed. How he could feel betrayed when Sirius was finally offering to send him home, he had no idea. His throat worked for a moment, and he looked down at the magazine again but it was clear he wasn't seeing it. "Haven't you noticed that no one's looking for me?" he said after a moment, his voice lacking its usual inflection.

"I don't know why you think that, but you have been reported missing. You're still in school, that's the sort of thing people notice when you stop showing up every day."

"My parents have money. They could've hired a PI if they really missed me, and they didn't."

"How do you know they didn't? You haven't had much chance to stick your head out the window and all. You're just guessing."

James looked up again. It was the look of a person that didn't need to fact check to know he was right. "Did they?" he asked, already knowing full well what the answer was going to be.

"No. It's part of why this took so long. I had to look into it. Thought it was suspicious that they weren't putting in the effort and figured they'd gotten the government invovled and were trying to keep it quiet."

"But they didn't. They don't care. They never have. I like staying with you," James admitted, shame-faced.

Sirius wanted to walk over and put a hand on his shoulder, or at least say something so he didn't look so miserable anymore. He forced himself to stay where he was.

"You pay attention to me. You call me cute, and you're-" he cut himself off, face heating.

"I'm?" Sirius prodded.

James glanced at him then quickly away again. "You know what you are," he muttered. His whole face was red, like he was embarrassed.

"I'm a great many things. I'm wondering what it is you were going to say, though. You're cute, your parents are twats, and me? I'm dangerous, morally questionable, fit, a pain in the arse to deal with. Need I go on, or did I get it?"

James swallowed thickly. "You're fit."

"I'm surprised you even noticed."

"I might need glasses, but I'm not blind," he mumbled. He slunk down a little, like he was hoping he'd disappear into the cushions and never return. Or at least not return until Sirius had forgotten about this-- fat chance of that.

That was as close as he was going to get to James admitting that he fancied him. Sirius remembered being that young and how mortifying it was. Even when the other person knew how he felt, it had been paralyzing. That James had admitted he found him fit was leaps and bounds beyond what Sirius would have admitted to at his age. Time for some bravery of his own, then. "I don't want to send you back, and I admit I dragged my feet in getting things arranged because of it, but I can't keep you here just because it's what I want."

James didn't get it.

He could see that he didn't get it. "Give me a reason. Your parents not missing you as much as they should isn't a good enough reason. Give me something else to justify this."

"Can't you just decide that you want to do it?" James said. "Isn't that what you're always saying? You're the boss, you get to do what you want. You don't need to justify it to anyone."

Sirius quirked a smile. "True, but why do I want to keep you around? You're wearing down my couch. Do you have any idea how expensive it was?" Not that he even knew. All he was sure of was that he never would've spent that much on it if Regulus hadn't been with him the entire time, pressuring him into choosing furniture that matched and was in style.

"I know that you don't give a shite how much it cost." He looked at Sirius straight on then, something knowing in his eyes, and Sirius got the feeling it wasn't knowledge about how little he cared about the couch.

Did he know that when Sirius flirted with him, it wasn't a joke? That look seemed to suggest he knew. The issue, of course, was that Sirius wasn't going to keep him around so he could pine uselessly. That's what he'd wanted to hear. 'Give me a reason' meant 'tell me I'm not some creepy old man perving on you, tell me there's something between us and it's not one-sided'. He thought that James knew that, even if he was too embarrassed to do it. "You need to meet me halfway, sweetheart."

"You fancy me. I know you do."

"'Course you know. You're cute, and you're not an idiot. My feelings aren't the ones in question."

James started to blush. He didn't look away, though. He faced him straight on and, blush deepening, said, "I fancy you. I thought it was obvious."

"It was obvious that you thought I was fit, but honestly, you have eyes, so I wasn't going to read too much into it."

"You're so humble, that's another thing I like about you," James said with a laugh.

"Being humble is for people that don't know the good aspects of themselves," he replied dismissively. Confidence and humility didn't coexist in a person, or at least no one he'd ever met. He walked towards James, put a hand on one side of his face, and pecked the tip of his nose.

James frowned up at him. He'd clearly been hoping for Sirius's mouth to go somewhere else. "You call that a kiss?"

"Nope," Sirius said, then kissed his cheek and pulled away. "I need to take you shopping. Not that I don't appreciate seeing you in my clothes, but I think you'll look even better in clothes that fit."

James reached out and grabbed his arm before he could get too far. "Can't we put that off for a bit? We could be doing something else right now."

"Something else?" Sirius repeated, amused. "I suppose you have an idea or two for what that is we could be doing."

"Are you saying you don't want to snog?" 

"I only have time for one of those today before I need to get some work done."

"What kind of work?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Oh come on," James said, a hint of a whine entering his voice. "I'm staying! And staying specifically to be with you. You can tell me the specifics now without worrying that I'm going to run to the cops when I go home."

"You're already home," Sirius said, giving him a quick, real kiss. "And the concern is less about the cops and more about your peace of mind. The less you know about any of this, the better you'll sleep at night."

"I'm sure I'll sleep better next to you no matter what happens in the day," James said. He was quick, and while Sirius appreciated that, it didn't change that he wanted to give it more time.

Sirius hummed, visibly mulling it over for James's benefit. "You can move into my room. But you aren't going to be involved in my business. Deal?"

"You say that like I have a choice." A short, barely there pause. "Deal. Kiss on it?" he asked hopefully.

Sirius chuckled and agreed.

[ssavanessa22]

Hello there! Congrats on 100 followers! 🤗🤗 I'm sorry Tumblr has been weird for you >< I hope your day/night gets better! :)

🌸 - "I love you most ardently" with Aaron Hotchner

Warnings: none I think, black fem! Reader

A/n this is the first part of my mutual Monday appreciation! This is dedicated to @chelseyjoyce her account is amazing and i love it so much it’s a great place to find the best Hotch fics in the fandom! She’s so sweet and incredibly kind and you all should go follow her, because she’s amazing :) And this is also part of my 100 follower blurb celebration!

Word count; 525

“I love you most ardently,” Hotch says, trying to get the words out quickly as his face begins to heat up

“Hotch if you're trying to convince someone that you're in love with them you need to say it with a bit more conviction because you sound like a dying cat”

“Emily you're supposed to be helping me not telling jokes, how am I going to tell Y/n that I'm in love with her.”

His eyes are misty, and his body language is closed off Emily can see his chest is puffy and his face is overcome with anxiety; he’s nervous so incredibly nervous but she’s glad that he is she’s been with Tara for over three years and now she’s sees y/n like her little sister, she loves her so much and she’s seen her get her heart broken by people who didn't deserve her heart. She needs someone like Hotch who will really and truly love her with all his heart, she deserves someone like him.

“You're scared”

“I am”

“Good you should be scared, she’s amazing and wonderful and deserves so much more than the people she’s been with, so be real and honest to her or otherwise she’ll see right through your bullshit”

“God this is too much I-I- don’t know what the say how should I tell her”

“Wait Hotch-”

“No-no I’m done waiting I love her so much it’s unbelievable, I haven’t felt like this since Haley and even then, it wasn’t like this. I just the take her in my arms and hug her and kiss her and make her feel so worthy and loved-”

“Aaron I’m serious shut-”

“NO Emily, I love her ardently, I care about her so much it hurts and what would she want from me anyway I’m a 45-year-old widower with a kid”

“Wow I love her ardently its hurts, Jesus Aaron Emily’s right you do sound like a dying cat”

Aarons face dropped and his eyebrows grew wide” I did that thing that Penelope does when she talks about someone whilst they're right behind me didn't I.”

Emily’s smirk grew wider “Yep”

“y/n I’m-”

“Ughh finally Hotch took you long enough, I could do a whole stipel about how much I love you too but it’s 2 am in the middle of nowhere fuck Kansas and in six hours were supposed to wake up and find a serial arsonist can we just go back to my room you help me put on my headscarf and then go to sleep?”

“You want to kiss and cuddle with me?”

“Yes that's why am telling you come on notch we've moved past the I live you be we can sort that out tomorrow I just wanna sleep”

“R-right ok then I didn't think that was gonna be that easy”

“I’m an easy-going girl”

“But I mean 34 years on this earth and you still find it hard to wrap your headscarf around your head I mean...thats a bit embarrassing”

“Says the man who went to Emily dating advice you can't even tell when she's joking or not, what if she had told you something stupid you would just follow her blindly?”

“Honestly y/n yeah I trust and listen to her too much for someone who pranks everyone on a daily basis

He held her tightly as they began walking to her room right before they went in for the night y/n stopped at the door.

“Wait one second” she popped her head right out of the room and shouted across “Night Emily”

“How on earth did you know she was still going to be listening.”

“I’m a sucker for love Aaron Tara’s made my black heart all mushy and happy, oh and night Y/n.”

Remember reblogs and constrictive critique helps fic writers with their engagement and writing :)

Aaron Hotchner taglist- message to be added

People who said they would be interested in the fics I write- @fiftyshadesofspencerreid @samuel-de-champagne-problems

[south-park-meta]

Ginger Cow

Cartmanland

Imagination Land trilogy

Stick of Truth duology

Ginger Cow

Give me a South Park episode and I'll answer...

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not? I think the Cartman-Kyle-Stan points are interesting. The actual episode as a whole I think is paced weird and a lot of it is kind of idk. Boring or weird? I'm not sure but outside of the strict Cartman-Kyle-Stan interactions there's not much for me in it.

★ Favorite moment?

Stan ...Dude, we've been friends a long time. Can you just tell me why you like Cartman's farts so much? Kyle [gets emotional] I just do, Stan. Stan You like... how they smell? How they taste? Kyle Yes. Stan They're really that good? Kyle Yes. Stan Should I try them? Kyle NO.

Stan recognizing something is wrong and getting nowhere when Kyle is actually usually pretty honest about the things Stan confronts him with, then with earnest confusion trying to bond with Kyle over something he just doesn't get at all. That Kyle's willing to debase himself if it's for the good 'of humanity' and Stan's willing to debase himself if it will make him understand Kyle is very sweet and sad for both of them.

★ Least favorite moment? Stan chewing Kyle out when he's already been knocked down with the whole thing is really unnecessary and a dick move. But they both kind of pull dick moves on each other when they try to get where the other is coming from and are boxed out from understanding.

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it? Hmm it's a pretty decent abuse analogy with Kyle getting beat down by Cartman and with loved ones (Stan) trying to get it and getting frustrated. Idk if it's an unpopular opinion overall but it probably is at least with a section of people who are Cartman or Kyman fans.

★ Something I would change? Sort of? If there was a way to keep the bits between Stan, Kyle, and Cartman and ditch the rest of it I would.

★ Rating out of 5? 2.5

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode? No.

Cartmanland

Give me a South Park episode and I'll answer...

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not? I do, I really love Stan-Cartman-Kyle focused episodes. I think it's a great episode for Stan being willing to do anything for Kyle and there hasn't been an episode like that to the same degree recently.

★ Favorite moment? Pretty much all of it. Like Stan doing this shit

and getting absolutely beat trying to do things for Kyle. Stan hauling Kyle around. Kyle getting SO God damn sick, on the brink of death, because of Cartman's success and being brought back by his downfall.

★ Least favorite moment? Nothing, it's really a perfect episode.

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it? I don't think so.

★ Something I would change? Nothing.

★ Rating out of 5? 5

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode? I love it.

Imaginationland

Give me a South Park episode and I'll answer...

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not? I think it's okay. The idea of it is pretty good but I think the pacing for multi-part episode tends to be lacking. I mean there's kind of pay off for the Imag-i-naaaation song being such a long bit but there's also a pretty clear reason to me it was so long to start with which is they had to pad it to get the run time right.

★ Favorite moment? Stan and Kyle having Imaginationland-real land conversations through telepathy. I have a lowlevel kind of joke headcanon that they actually CAN kind of talk to each other using thoughts because they're so close to each other anyway. It's something that doesn't come up in Imaginationland besides this and Stan's like, relaying messages and shit so??? They're literally in each other's heads.

★ Least favorite moment? Imaginationland Kyle sucking Cartman's balls

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it? That it's just okay. From what I've seen this one tends to be a fan favorite which just isn't the case for me. It's fine but that's about it for me.

★ Something I would change? The pacing. Idk how but I don't think it really needed to be a full trilogy.

★ Rating out of 5? 2.5 or 3

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode? Nah

SOT eps

Give me a South Park episode and I'll answer...

★ Do I like this episode? Why or why not? Love it. I love when they play games together and have this innocent little fun time that gets wrapped up in dramatics. I love their interpersonal drama.

★ Favorite moment? Kyle coming to Stan's bedroom and them having this ALMOST conversation through his bedroom door. It says so much that they get so close to having a conversation about all the issues they've been having for multiple seasons and then Stan gets too uncomfortable with what he's feeling because the emotions are so big so he shuts it down.

★ Least favorite moment? The GRR Martin bits aren't really funny to me but they're short enough it's kind of whatever.

★ Do I have an unpopular opinion about this episode? What is it? Don't think so.

★ Something I would change? Nothing.

★ Rating out of 5? 5

★ Anything else I want to say about this episode? No

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: You about? Janis: Here all week, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: put the 🎤 down, I've got a different gig for you Jimmy: less funny but still a pisstake Janis: How well does it pay/will I still be the headliner Janis: dealbreakers, boy Jimmy: That's two questions that have nowt to do with each other Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 like you need the limelight, rich girl Janis: Oh, just call me an attention whore, that'll seal the deal 🙄 Janis: I'm just filling space where your question ain't yet Jimmy: what should is how 💕😍 I'll be all over socials Jimmy: slag for heroic acts, me Janis: What an offer 😏 Janis: Go on then, how am I saving your life today Jimmy: you're saving my 🐕 Jimmy: if you can Janis: It down a well? Janis: wrong way 'round, that Jimmy: Would I need your help if I knew where it'd pissed off to? Janis: I don't know, give me some details to work with Janis: when did you notice, how'd it get out, etc Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just come here and help me look Janis: Where are you then Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I know you can't multitask, how do you reckon you're gonna 🙏 and 🏃? Jimmy: [sends her his location which would random af cos stubborn enough to be looking for ages before he asked for her help obvs] Janis: That's my whole life, dickhead Janis: alright, don't know what your dog would be doing there but I'll be there asap Jimmy: write the book on your own time, mate Jimmy: give it a cameo if you find it Janis: Sweet, you gonna draw the pictures? Jimmy: How well's that pay? Janis: Depends how cute you draw the 🐕 Jimmy: [sends her a deliberately crap quick doodle] Jimmy: there you are Janis: Bestseller, like Janis: so much 💰💰 Jimmy: I never said I'd write it for you an' all Janis: yeah well your grasp on the English language ain't all that so Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: you gonna write it in 🍀? Thank feck I won't be able to read a word Jimmy: can only fake so much enthusiasm Janis: Yeah, you aren't great at that either Janis: but let's not focus on your many, many faults Jimmy: Stop flirting with me, I'm busy Janis: Shut up Janis: What can I do but annoy you 'til I get there Jimmy: Have a look at what you just wrote Jimmy: you might do step 1 Janis: Charming Janis: I've been great, tah Jimmy: if it makes you feel better, we can pretend the 🐕 legged it with my 👑 Janis: What actually happened, toad Janis: unlocked gate or not coming back on a walk Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: reckon I might get some convo there? Janis: 👍 for the tip Jimmy: next one'll be 💰 Jimmy: it were there, he threw a strop and chucked it out, now it ain't Janis: Bummer Janis: we'll find it, probably Janis: got a collar or any shit like that? Jimmy: [sends a picture of him holding it like 😒 cos Twix wasn't wearing it, thanks Ian you dick] Janis: 👎 Jimmy: well helpful, you Janis: I'm on my way, dickhead Janis: I can't summon the thing with my mind, soz, I know you think I'm special Jimmy: meant to be #suchanathlete Jimmy: get a move on, dickhead Janis: You know I live in the middle of nowhere Janis: give me 5, at least Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: You thought I'd moved, yeah Janis: no such 🍀 Jimmy: keep 🙏 for that fake ldr Janis: not having to be 👀 with you would be such a bonus Janis: conference call that shit in Jimmy: not having to kiss you would be massively beneficial to me Jimmy: can't afford to lose any more body parts Janis: we'll find your dog and your ear, stop complaining Jimmy: 💕 Janis: personally, I think you look better without it Jimmy: you've got shit taste Janis: That's you, we've covered that Jimmy: you Janis: 🙄 Janis: take the 🥇 Jimmy: you earned it Janis: oh please Janis: you've run the gauntlet of shit taste olympics Jimmy: don't need to beg for owt, just take it, babe Jimmy: it's alright Janis: be quiet and keep looking Jimmy: been looking for ages Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 😕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: Your brother and sister helping you? Jimmy: That a dealbreaker an' all? Janis: Nah, just wondering Jimmy: if we can't find the 🐕 then I'll tell 'em Janis: No sense in upsetting 'em if you don't need to, yeah Jimmy: my dad don't need another knobhead 🏆 Jimmy: gonna have enough shit to pack up when we leave Janis: Right Janis: not really coming to protect your da though Janis: dogs cute though so Jimmy: I weren't gonna @ him that you 💕 him Jimmy: bit rude to Mr Lucas Janis: let's not pretend you're doing it on mine or his account though Janis: just don't want me to move in Jimmy: not as my step-mum Jimmy: it might be popular on other sites but it ain't likely to be #goals with our demographic Janis: The lads would like it but they're less vocal with their 💕 Jimmy: more about the body language Jimmy: one bit specifically Janis: doesn't translate well with insta likes and comments Janis: less you can get 'em with an accidental doubletap but their gfs are all over that shit Jimmy: got enough hysterical lasses in my DMs, tah Janis: the struggle is so real Janis: poor you, like Jimmy: [sends her a highlight reel cos imagine tbh] Janis: Do you reckon they ever reread what they write or just send Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: I reckon Bill's turning in his ⚰ Janis: romance is dead, mate Janis: 🥀 Jimmy: re-read and don't hit send, my dear Jimmy: we're trying to avoid 💔😭 for now Janis: 'course Janis: I didn't say dog Janis: optimistic, me Jimmy: won't have to chuck in a box if it is though Janis: don't be morbid Janis: only so much I can take after reading those messages Janis: feeling well 💀 Jimmy: You'll live Jimmy: I'm out of 🚬 so there's nowt but fresh air Janis: That's truly the most devastating thing you've ever said to me Janis: I can get some though Jimmy: You heard me say I've been 👀 for ages Janis: Poor stressed boy Jimmy: Don't take the piss Jimmy: I am Jimmy: I've got work in a bit Janis: 'course you are, your dog is missing Janis: I'm not far from you now so once I get the cigs and get there, I'll take over Jimmy: 👍 Janis: been looking on those cringey neighbourhood sites, if some do-gooder had got it or it'd been hit, it'd be on there and it ain't so that's something, yeah Jimmy: Tah Janis: no big Janis: I'm not a monster Jimmy: if I keep waking you this early, fuck knows what you'll end up looking like Janis: Funny Janis: I weren't asleep anyway, you're alright Jimmy: I get it, gotta stay 💪🏆 Janis: Vampires don't sleep, baby Jimmy: do in the day Jimmy: I should be tucking you in, instead of dragging you out Janis: Add it to your list of failings and crack on Jimmy: ✔ Janis: you smoke [brand] right? Jimmy: #whenshenoticestheshityoucareabout Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Call it your defining feature Janis: along with the 😎 obvs Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt else going for me when this new boy shine wears through Janis: keep 🙏 for the day, like Jimmy: *🤞 Jimmy: me and JC don't know each other like that Janis: You don't know him, but he knows you Janis: not unlike your fans Jimmy: There's only room for one fit and mysterious lad round here so he'll have to do one back to the ☁ Janis: Hate the attention, you, well obvious 😏 Jimmy: I get it whether I want it or not Janis: They do Jesus dirty in the paintings Janis: can't compete with a selfie Jimmy: He knows what to do if he's fuming Janis: can't wait for the second coming when he fucks you right up Jimmy: #cancelled Jimmy: me either, sounds like a right laugh Janis: Miss me when I'm saved and you ain't Janis: how starcrossed ldr me from hell, bitch Jimmy: Suicide's a sin, baby, ain't you heard? Janis: so is most stuff, honestly Janis: but I'm 😇 looking Janis: gonna want me around Jimmy: no dickhead's hotter than 😈 don't you wanna be around him? Janis: 🙄 my type, yeah Jimmy: Do you want an answer for that? Janis: The devil loses in the end, you know Janis: back the winner Jimmy: love an underdog, me Jimmy: I get why you don't, rich girl Jimmy: probably get a 🦄☁ really kick that horse girl fantasy up a notch Janis: Animals don't have souls Janis: Catholic fun 101 Janis: gotta find your dog otherwise it's bad news all 'round Jimmy: 💔🐕⚰🎻☔ Janis: Cheery Janis: know you hate your job but plaster your customer service face on for me Jimmy: you inspired me with your little sermon there, like Janis: you deserved it, like Jimmy: For what? Janis: For implying I'd fuck the devil Jimmy: I never said owt of the sort Jimmy: just asking if you're off lads now 'cause of the one dickhead Janis: I don't think you can say all men are going to hell Janis: thought Asia would be 😍 for that sweeping statement Jimmy: I'll screenshot it for her Janis: 💘 Janis: cute Jimmy: where the fuck are you? Janis: ⛪ Janis: gotta go confess now, thanks a lot Janis: [sends actual location as she's coming up though like calm down] Jimmy: if you could rush it through 🤏 please Jimmy: I dunno, maybe pretend there's a character limit Janis: soz the priest is well invested in hearing all about me fucking the devil Jimmy: can't stop being goals, you Jimmy: come hell or high water Jimmy: tell him to put his 👅 and owt else back in Janis: Lord knows I may as well become a nun according to you Janis: get that good book and that good dick Jimmy: Oi I never said you should, I asked if you were Janis: Not really got the time, have I Jimmy: You've got all night 🧛 girl Jimmy: for a start Janis: When we're not fake out, sure Jimmy: I don't outstay my welcome at parties, that's the other dickhead Janis: This is all irrelevant Janis: and he can turn water into wine, he's never not welcome, boy Jimmy: I didn't mean him Janis: Now you're making it sound like I hooked up with Voldemort Jimmy: I dunno his name or @ do I? Janis: Ha, Harry, actually Jimmy: I never said I wanted to know it, but tah Janis: just trying to avoid Jesus related mixups, don't think he needs the ego boost if I'm honest Jimmy: 👌 Janis: This is you though, yeah Janis: hate to approach the wrong dickhead Janis: [waving like yo] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Don't have a bottle of wine in my pocket that were water, soz, just that conditioned to be fake happy to see you Janis: [does 💔 hands 'right, show me where you usually walk her, the route, then you can fuck off whenever you need to'] Jimmy: [walking like a rude hoe not even gonna say hey or anything okay then] Janis: [just shrugging like okay then but purposefully keeping up pace so he can't march ahead] Jimmy: [we strutting in stressed silence] Janis: [on phone, but making a socials post like if you see this dog, 'cos Cass ain't gonna see it on hers so doesn't matter and could help] Jimmy: [nodding at her like thanks when he sees it] Janis: [shrugs again like nbd] Jimmy: [keep going lads that poor baby dog needs you] Janis: [hit all them doggy hotspots like the park etc] Jimmy: [I hope she's found a 🐕 friend or something so she's not all alone and forlorn] Janis: [my boo is #concerned] Jimmy: [I am, she's just a smol baby and they haven't trained her or anything] Janis: [least we aren't being too evil] Jimmy: [I could NEVER] Janis: [asking relevant Twix questions 'cos you care but also to have some convo] Jimmy: [acting like you don't know cos you hate that dog so much #lies] Janis: [lowkey like why am i looking then boy but just via looks not actually gonna say it] Jimmy: [basically being like don't then as if you haven't asked for her help with exactly this] Janis: [walks ahead like I'll keep doing this but we don't need to do this] Jimmy: [keeps up because doesn't wanna be his moody af father] Janis: [looks at him like alright?] Jimmy: [just looking back her because no but god forbid you talk about it ever] Janis: [makes face like yeah, I know and goes in her pocket 'nearly forgot' and hands him the cigarettes] Jimmy: [we know the drill by now, ladies first without even asking which works as a lowkey sorry for being a prick rn too so] Janis: ['cheers'] Jimmy: [the most dramatic exhale of smoke/sigh but not deliberately dramatic just how he's feeling rn cos he's running out of places to look like Twix where you at babe] Janis: [gently nudges his side with her shoulder like it'll be okay but not saying that 'cos can't promise it so, running ahead when you see a dog walker to ask if they've seen any dogs on their own] Jimmy: ? Janis: [jogging back over but not coming fully, like you gotta follow me 'she reckons there was a dog that didn't seem to be with anyone in [a park but not Twix's usual lol]'] Jimmy: [does follow her even though he probably doesn't know where that even is because literally me and could get lost anywhere] Janis: [now gotta search every bush in this park like hellooo] Jimmy: [gotta call her name like that's not lowkey awks for someone so 😎] Jimmy: [also I know this is serious business but 100% needs to push her into a bush like my mum did to me/ jump out from behind one just because] Janis: [we all know you're not cool but yeah, some pet names are really awks if you have to shout them lmao, also yes, even if you jump way more than you normally would 'cos tense situ and then you're 😒] Jimmy: [loling too much because it's one of those days and you gotta but not gonna help her 😒 face you'll have to get your own back gal] Janis: [just handing him some dog luring food she got and jogging off like I'll go this way] Jimmy: [she should get her because start of a beautiful friendship] Janis: [I vibe, I'll see if I have a pic of them were she looks buzzing/smug enough lol] Jimmy: [when you hug the bae because you're so relieved that the kids won't kick off or your dad or your manager cos you won't be late now but also because she stayed and actually helped you and like who does that ever] Janis: [Twix like lemme get in on that 'cos full of love] Jimmy: [shoutout to the mvp she is for stopping that becoming too much of a moment] Janis: [and being awkward or anything like that god bless 'see, all alright, yeah'] Jimmy: [when he's probably holding this dog cos 1. don't run off again and 2. she's hyper af and needs to be licking his face and snuggling him so he's 😒 and a look like is it though but we know you love Twix really] Janis: [lols 'she knows you missed her, like, you can't hide it'] Jimmy: [lowkey throws the dog at her with a piss off kinda look] Janis: [gives Twix some love and a 🙄 at him but not harsh] Jimmy: [does it back because always] Janis: ['no excuse to skive off work now though' face like gutted] Jimmy: ['you could've offered to phone in fake sick for me, bit rude' cos throwforward to when we actually did that haha] Janis: ['if they let their barista boys have time off for every new girl, they'd go out of business' shoutout to your hot colleagues the flat whites sexually harass] Jimmy: [oh pete I love you my darling but meanwhile Jimmy is just shrugging cos wouldn't care if the CG did tbh] Janis: [punching, there should be another word for that 'cos sounds so violent I just mean a friendly tap like, his arm, 'come on, I need the limelight, you need the paycheck'] Jimmy: ['you coming in for a latte then?' we 👀 you shamelessly wanting to spend time with her boy, deliberately saying latte because she would NEVER] Janis: [scoffs in DISGUST honey 'not your real girlfriend, boy, though with the heartbreak she's probably just necking double espressos, right?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head 'drumming up business and a bae, so evil, you are' as if you didn't send the message lol] Jimmy: ['You did the evil deed, Judith, square that one with your priest an' all'] Janis: ['or, did I do you all a favour, think on that'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like you've only done me this one favour rn ever] Janis: ['that's alright, no need for a thank you card'] Jimmy: [writes leave it out in the air with a flourish] Janis: [😏 'when's your shift then and what are you gonna do with the dog?'] Jimmy: [does her trick of checking an imaginary watch 'might chuck an apron on her and give her a go with the steam wand' but we know he's really gonna nip home first so Twix can snuggle with the kids cos had an exciting morning and she just a baby] Janis: ['you really gonna give employee of the month away just like that' does loser sign then looks around like hmm, 'cos you in town now, what are you gonna do, ensue awks] Jimmy: ['Reckon I'm safe, it'll be all them espressos if nowt else' just lowkey drags her along with him, bit rude] Janis: [just like umm excuse me but doesn't not come along like] Jimmy: [looks at her and the dog and back like she's not home yet, the job's not done 'won't get fake girlfriend of the month by taking the piss'] Janis: [dramatic gasping like oh no 'I'm the only fake girlfriend you have, babe, 'less it's your ultimate #kinkunlocked'] Jimmy: [dramatic gasp back like he's been busted] Janis: ['it's alright, already knew you were a pervert' accidental LOOK] Jimmy: ['before you agreed or after?' and a LOOK back of course] Janis: ['that'd be telling'] Jimmy: ['So go on'] Janis: [shakes head 'who knew or knows anything about you, mystery boy?'] Jimmy: [winks at Twix as if she knows all his secrets] Janis: ['nerd' but we all know she thinks it's cute] Jimmy: ['Oi, you barely know her' cos he is a nerd] Janis: [gives her more fuss 'the bitch is cool'] Jimmy: ['steady on, she won't fit through the door'] Janis: 'but if we can wedge her in, she won't be able to get back out' taps head like tada 'you just hate when anyone else gets compliments'] Jimmy: ['Busted again, me. You're proper on one this morning, mate'] Janis: ['always am, you're just in a good mood 'cos your bestie is back'] Jimmy: [snorts like if you say so] Janis: ['ignore him, he's a right moody dickhead most the time' @Twix] Jimmy: ['ignore her, right comedian so she reckons, might get the hint one of these days' also @ twix] Janis: ['She knows who saved her, mate, team me all the way'] Jimmy: ['go on and take her home with you, hate to break both your hearts, obvs'] Janis: ['hate to break your little brother's though'] Jimmy: ['my sister would fight you for her any road, a black eye ain't gonna be goals like the bruises I give you'] Janis: [lols 'there we go then, shoulda kept that to yourself if you were tryna get me sparked out'] Jimmy: [gives her a OTT scandalised look like why would I do that 'if it ain't #goals it ain't a goal of mine, Jules'] Janis: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: ['if you wanna have a scrap, crack on with pulling Asia's hair or something'] Janis: [🙄 'bitch fight ain't my scene, even faking it, soz to the punters who'd love it'] Jimmy: [the heartbroken hand mime again] Janis: ['such a boy' looking at Twix like can you believe him?] Jimmy: [looks down at himself like he's so shook cos biggest nerd] Janis: ['not a compliment, Pinocchio'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?'] Janis: ['I knew you were a boy, you can have that if you're short on love'] Jimmy: ['bit busy @ing my dad about how much of a lad you reckon I am, hang on'] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [lights another 🚬 cos 1. it's been a minute 2. such a lad 3.😎] Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: such a flirt, you Janis: just so manly, bears repeating, obvs Jimmy: [nudges her like go on then tell the fans] Jimmy: gonna make me 😳 if you keep on Janis: Let me know if you've got it in you and I'll add it 'fore I hit send, like Jimmy: let me know if you've got it in you, more like Janis: You reckon I can't make you blush? Jimmy: do you reckon you can? Jimmy: that's the question Janis: Obviously I can Jimmy: What are you waiting for, a written invitation? Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm busy over here Jimmy: you're chatting bollocks over there Janis: The world needs to know the 🐶 is alive and well and you're such a #lad if you don't mind Jimmy: convenient timing that Janis: only a performing monkey when there's a crowd, you know that Jimmy: [a look like yeah right] Janis: [kicking his ankles like shh and not looking at him] Janis: you still owe me a good idea anyway Jimmy: I said blush not bleed, babe Janis: know what I prefer Jimmy: #kinkunlocked ages ago 🧛 girl Janis: then be nice and give me what I want Jimmy: [gives her a look like what do you want] Janis: [the 'you know' coming out before you can even think to stop yourself, then shaking your head and pointing at your fangs with a smirk like duh] Jimmy: [sets his phone camera on a timer like this is how long you've got to try and make me 😳 or bleed and gestures her over to a bench like] Janis: [doing a big sigh as if you're all ugh but really it's 'cos you're nervous but shh, once he's sat down, sitting in his lap of course but making a point of seeing if you're in-frame so we've got the pretense for how real you're shamelessly gonna be, looking at him properly 'Jimmy, I missed you'] Jimmy: [saying her name back because the only other time he has was when he was annoyed and that is simply not allowed thank you and hitting her with the 😍 #tooreal] Janis: [shuffling closer to him into his lap somehow when he says your name and smoothing his hair off his face with both hands then letting them come to rest on his shoulders, giving them a little massage 'I mean it' #whenthecameraisrollingandyouvebeenchallenegedsoyoucansaythisisallpretendifyouhaveto #adangerousgame] Jimmy: [so into it and would be even if he hadn't had the most stressful morning ever but because he has and because we can say it's fake SUCH A SOUND 'I know, I can tell' #boywhyhaveyoustartedsomethingyouliterallyhaveworktogotosoon] Janis: ['Can you tell just how bad though?' when moving closer has turned into grinding on him shamelessly] Jimmy: [a nod because speaking is dangerous rn fake or real] Janis: ['what else do you wanna know?'] Jimmy: ['What else do you want me to know?'] Janis: [tilting your head to one side like you're thinking, still rubbing his shoulders 'depends'] Jimmy: [his eyes closing because it feels nice which is not the word tbh 'on what?' because I have to ask] Janis: [little kisses on his eyelids then whispering in his ear 'if you're ready to know it all'] Jimmy: [have to kiss her to keep it vague and save our lives because is that a this is how ready I am or is it I'm kissing you so I don't have to answer] Janis: [either way, a kiss moment honey] Jimmy: [like we know the answer lads but we can't out Jimothy that hard right here right now so gotta keep you guessing babe] Janis: [finally breaking off the kiss, so reluctantly, 'Did you blush?'] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can look because shamelessly buying himself some recovery time after that] Janis: [not getting off him, just resting your head on his chest whilst you watch this back like comfy are we] Jimmy: [just playing with her hair like you're trying to fix whatever mess you made of it during that kiss, we see your flimsy excuse boy cos you're not being that soft about it rn] Janis: [making a noise like did you have to or can you legitimately not help it rn] Jimmy: [if he wasn't blushing before he is now thank god she's looking at this phone] Janis: ['that was definitely a blush there' pointing at some point in that recording like see, looking up at him 'you look cute'] Jimmy: ['you're taking the piss' because works for both things she said and he's a boy of few words] Janis: [shakes head like nu-uh] Jimmy: [pokes her like yeah you are] Janis: [boops his nose like no I'm not] Jimmy: [still has his hand on her waist after poking her so tickles her of course] Janis: ['don't drop me' so dramatically] Jimmy: [fakes like he is gonna drop her which makes twix cray] Janis: [just a look like see? she loves me] Jimmy: [such a dramatic sigh like ugh he's so over you both #lies] Janis: ['be nice'] Jimmy: ['or what?'] Janis: [raising a brow 'you're ready to find that out, yeah?'] Jimmy: [raises his own back at her 'why wouldn't I be? The scaredy cat's you'] Janis: [puts a finger to his lips dramatically like shh and nods to Twix 'she'll hear you'] Jimmy: [irl 👍 because good I hope she do] Janis: ['you're so jealous of our love, honestly'] Jimmy: ['bit busy with my own, she's a handful, like' oh Asia god bless] Janis: ['yeah I've heard about her cup size, thanks' 🙄] Jimmy: [lil lol] Janis: [finally getting off him like hmpf on the low] Jimmy: ['you've got nowt to be jealous of' is he being real or fake we'll never know] Janis: ['duh' and getting up up 'better get this dog back or you'll be late'] Jimmy: [literally has never wanted to go to work less in his life but come on lads] Janis: [we just walking along merrily like that didn't happen] Jimmy: [#socasual] Janis: [so casual nbd we're all friends here, is gonna need a 🚬 though but never asking just accosting him like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [do something else with your hands and mouths kids, cos you know he has to have one too even though he's had so many today already] Janis: [oh Twix, you rascally babe] Jimmy: [it's all Ian's fault as per] Janis: [at least something good came of it but not getting the credit for that] Jimmy: ['gonna have to get her chipped' thinking out loud cos you know Ian hasn't sorted that or wants the expense] Janis: [nods 'don't take a second, like'] Jimmy: [a look like that's good cos when do I have a sec but then shrugs cos gonna be so unbothered] Janis: [shrugs back 'might be just as easy to look at your fence sitch for puppy-sized holes'] Jimmy: ['I get it, I'm SUCH a lad, no need to go overboard' 😏] Janis: [shakes head 😏 'alright, get your sister to if you can't deal'] Jimmy: ['volunteering to wake her up and tell her to crack on, are you?' 😏 'Tah, babe, willing to go proper above and beyond, you'] Janis: [noise like psh no thank you lol 'way above my paygrade, ask Asia, I'd happily watch that'] Jimmy: [such a lol] Janis: [actual smile] Jimmy: [control your 😍 boy by nodding at the dog 'reckon you've done enough for a bit' cos genuinely is grateful we know] Janis: [forget about it gesture 'favour for the dog, really'] Jimmy: ['probably would've been kinda to let her find a new bunch of dickheads' when you're joking but you're also actually not] Jimmy: [*kinder] Janis: ['now you tell me' but nudges him like come on, you ain't that bad] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'yeah 'cause I missed you an' all' is he being fake about needing to see her so bad #theanswerisno] Janis: [looks at Twix like ?! 'is this even your dog?' 😏] Jimmy: ['Nah' cos lbr he's too 😎 for a dog like this thanks for that Ian] Janis: ['OMG, you're like soulmates' 🖤 hands] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos she said Twix was her true love and he was jealous before, like make your mind up] Janis: ['that's why you're jealous' points at Twix 'player'] Jimmy: ['you wish, dickhead'] Janis: [a look like obvs, dickhead] Jimmy: [blows a smoke ring at her in a sassy manner like there's your 💍] Janis: [waves it away 'show-off'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby'] Janis: ['have to show me how to do it sometime, like'] Jimmy: ['I'll edit it to look like you got the knack first time, keep shit goals'] Janis: [😒 'be a better teacher then, wanker'] Jimmy: ['I've already got owt else that Mr Lucas could possibly want, be cruel that'] Janis: ['cept my heart, but shh'] Jimmy: ['far as he knows I have'] Janis: ['he all up on the socials, you reckon?' face like ew] Jimmy: ['first in, last out' and a dramatic shiver like GROSS] Janis: ['least he won't dob us in if he wants more of that sweet, sweet #content' irl equivalent of 🤢] Jimmy: [sighs like our work's never done 'UGH, we'll just have to find another way to get in trouble at school' and a LOOK] Janis: [a LOOK back 'basically my specialty'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like you that' because she's so 😇 obvs] Janis: ['wait and see' 'cos you only did that one project together then school trip] Jimmy: ['Alright' when you're agreeing to still be doing this after the holidays unthinkingly there] Janis: [probably get to his house, assumedly the first time] Jimmy: [go throw Twix in with those snoozy kids and get ready for work quickly sir] Janis: [jus' chillin' like why am I still here lowkey] Jimmy: put the kettle on, rich girl Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of one like she's never seen one because got staff] Janis: 😱 Janis: don't know how you take your tea Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you better leave Janis: this fake relationship just proved too fake Jimmy: we're over, off you go Janis: would you rather I guess and give you a shit cup Janis: come on Jimmy: might do Jimmy: but if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: You're ridiculous Janis: but fine Jimmy: #mayberidiculouswillbeouralways Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [did I fever dream that they take their tea the same way which was milk and two sugars? because I'm sure we said that in another convo but idk] Janis: [I also remember that and is how she's gonna make it so get ready to FALL IN LOVE BOY] Jimmy: [he's not gonna be able to control the 😍] Janis: would sir like his tea upstairs or down? Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is looking like a snack in his barista uniform which realistically she might not have seen before this] Janis: [when he actually looks good so you have to be OTT fake about it] Jimmy: [when you try the tea and you're like!!! so you have to be all like 'Oi' and call her a cheat] Janis: ['how could I, you got it written down somewhere in case you forget?' lols] Jimmy: [do the I'm watching you thing @ her all 😒] Janis: ['you just take your tea the only correct way, doesn't mean we're fated, calm down'] Jimmy: ['keep that to yourself' drinking that excellent tea] Janis: [🤐] Jimmy: [unzips her like but drink your tea] Janis: ['nerd' but does, of course] Jimmy: [holds his finger up like when you have an aha moment and starts looking in her mouth like a dentist in the manner of oh while it's unzipped lemme just] Janis: ['gross!' moving away so faux offended 'what are you doing, weirdo?'] Jimmy: ['lost an earring, gotta check you ain't swallowed it, girl' such a nerd goodbye] Janis: ['vampire, not a thief' look like how dare you] Jimmy: [' still stole my heart though' cos gotta be OTT fake sometimes] Janis: [finger guns at his chest] Jimmy: [gun at his head and death again] Janis: ['hot'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: 'who's on shift today?' like she knows] Jimmy: [shrugs because could not care less] Janis: [tuts but 😏] Jimmy: [gestures like come on let's go find out] Janis: [shrugs like okay 'I've got a few to kill'] Jimmy: [nods to the imaginary watch cos it's unspoken acknowledgement that the flat whites won't be there that early and she can leave before they are] Janis: ['heaven forbid they leave the house before applying 50 layers of foundation, shit is time-consuming'] Jimmy: [so triggered thinking about his northern ex rn like the horrified facial expression would be so genuine] Janis: [nod of approval 'good acting'] Jimmy: [does the polishing his medal he's wearing mime] Janis: [when it's your nametag 'who the fuck is Jamie?'] Jimmy: ['you ain't met him? honestly gutted for you'] Janis: ['will he be on shift today?' skipping like you're so buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: ['wait and see' cos word theft] Janis: ['ugh, tease'] Jimmy: ['Not trying to turn you on, calm down'] Janis: ['Jamie might be' shrug like don't count me out yet tah] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'he's a starving artist, owt for tips'] Janis: ['fuck you' 😒] Jimmy: ['fuck him, being right dickhead makes him your type'] Janis: ['good' like I intend to, oh honey lol] Jimmy: 'good' boy how you gonna be jealous of someone who doesn't exist] Janis: [when it's literally you lmao] Jimmy: [also he so hasn't posted that bench moment let it be known] Janis: [that's for the best literally no one has asked for that content] Jimmy: [haven't deleted it though have you my dear 👀 you] Janis: [we all know that was shameless so we're not thinking or talking about it ladeeda] Jimmy: [get into work boy, get busy cos we know you're thinking about fuck all else] Janis: [chilling not at all casually at a table] Jimmy: [make her that first ever 💣 smoothie please and thank] Janis: that your specialty? Jimmy: what? Janis: smoothies and juices and shit Jimmy: @CG_FAQ or whatever it is Janis: I get it, you're very busy Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: [serves some business person trying to get a coffee but is looking at her like 🙄😏] Janis: [💔 hands and shamelessly having a nose at his co-workers] Jimmy: [Pete is 100% there, hey babe] Jimmy: So? Go on then Janis: ? Jimmy: Do you like it? Janis: I didn't ask if it were your specialty to take the piss, like Janis: s'good Jimmy: I'll @ my manager Janis: I can do it for you Janis: seems appropraitely fake girlfriend of me Jimmy: I get it, it would be goals to get sacked for having a scrap with him when he's 😍 for you Jimmy: 🥇 plan Janis: I'm not getting you sacked Janis: how many IOUs would that warrant, like, no thanks Jimmy: you're meant to want to spend every second of every day with me, play the game, Janet Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend Janis: fine Janis: just 🤞 he's the hot one Janis: [going to chat to Pete] Jimmy: he ain't here, wouldn't have to @ him if he were Jimmy: the accent ain't that hard to understand Janis: oh well, now he'll pass that along for you Jimmy: Tah Janis: [sits back down like you're welcome] Jimmy: you hungry? Janis: I could eat Jimmy: [gets her whatever sucks the least] Janis: Tah Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Steady on, nowt on the menu's 👍 Janis: that was for you Janis: if I go up to the tip jar now I'll just look keen Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is that for me? Jimmy: Do you see any of my other girlfriends about? Janis: [does fake check] Janis: thankfully not Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: so special Jimmy: you're alright Janis: 😂 Jimmy: I mean it Janis: Alright then Janis: you too Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I don't want your tacked on you an' all Janis: well I mean it too Janis: I can't say it 'cos you got in there first, psh Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: dry your eyes and eat your food, mate Janis: alright, dad Janis: focus on one job at a time Jimmy: edit that nickname a bit and you're good to # Janis: we're not fake there yet Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Sorry Janis: know you're the right age but that's about it Jimmy: RUDE Janis: Shh Jimmy: I will not Jimmy: and there's nowt you can do about it Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't you hate a chatty barista Jimmy: I ain't serving you Jimmy: already have done Janis: yeah, some daddy 😏 Jimmy: funny Janis: you've got my best work for the day Janis: 'til I workout anyway Jimmy: lucky me Janis: don't be rude Janis: saved your life Jimmy: you started it Janis: If you want me to call you that, put it in a contract and get me to sign Janis: that's not rude Jimmy: twist your own arm and 🖋🩸 your own oath, bit busy here Janis: Very impressed Jimmy: admitting how easily you are ain't very 🥇 Jimmy: you might wanna 🤐 Janis: Not got time for sarcasm either? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: When have I ever had time for your pisstaking? Janis: awh 😭 Jimmy: enjoy the 🎻🎻 I left you both your 👂s Janis: well aren't you generous Janis: tell everyone how not hard you go with it Jimmy: that rich v poor divide just keeps rearing it's head #awks Jimmy: and you're in the wrong 🗨 if you reckon every word's getting screenshotted Jimmy: @💀👑 not 😎🚬 Janis: oh, you mean my true love, yeah Jimmy: if the hair extensions fit Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'm gonna go see where they're @ Janis: brb Janis: [out tha door] Jimmy: in a bit Jimmy: [but watching her go like a forlorn 🐕] Janis: [going to the gym obvs 'cos got to go work this out can't sit in the tension this long without needing a moment] Jimmy: [do some work bitch but not actually because I like to imagine him drawing Twix on a wanted poster but doing an ^ un next to the wanted to sass her and posting that at some point #arthoe] Janis: [puppydog eyes selfie you do not need to send re. that poster] Jimmy: You pull a muscle? Jimmy: Hang on, I'll be right there to carry you out Janis: Defending my lady from your savage and swift pen, thank you very much Jimmy: go on Janis: Come here and I'll 🥊 ya Janis: only got the 🥺'til then, and it's harder to make you 😳 from afar too Janis: besides, wouldn't wanna make your customers even more inappropriate with you, even you don't deserve that, like Jimmy: if the subject of my 🎨 was such a dealbreaker you should've stuck around to be inspiring Jimmy: but alright, the selfie's a start Janis: A start, yeah? Jimmy: you heard Janis: Aside from my blood, what else do you want/require? Jimmy: is that a trick question? Janis: No Janis: wanna be as 🥇 a muse as a fake girlfriend Jimmy: if you were 🥇 you wouldn't need me to tell you owt Janis: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: and you're meant to teach me how to blow smoke rings too Jimmy: I'm due a break, gimme a shout when you're done 💪 Janis: don't you wanna take a break break Janis: my current muse abilities will get me through the day alright Jimmy: and you admitting what hard work you are will get me through this shift alright Janis: that'll be why you want me to come back Jimmy: take both my jobs seriously, me Janis: hard work, I remember Janis: another #kinkunlocked Janis: I can give you that punishment, if you really want Jimmy: hot Janis: of course Janis: not a total amateur Jimmy: fooled me Janis: piss off Jimmy: [a little doodle he's drawn of her based on that selfie she sent but a deliberately quick one so we don't get into the #feels of drawing her properly yet] Janis: 🎨🖌 Jimmy: you looked cute Jimmy: [cos gotta steal her words from earlier] Janis: dead convincing, babe 😏 Janis: am I still coming or have you powered through with that picture? Jimmy: Do you still wanna come or are you too 😍💕 to be around me now you've 👀 that masterpiece? Janis: Obviously I need a moment Jimmy: duh Janis: not just to shower or anything, like Janis: full swooning time Jimmy: I get it, making lasses go weak at the knees is my full time occupation Jimmy: ☕ just a prop Janis: Do you pay tax on that? Jimmy: Who sounds like a dad now? Janis: 💰💰 is all I care about, of course Jimmy: with the wrong lad then Janis: take the bragging right of being just that good then, eh Jimmy: you trying to make me 😳 from afar? Jimmy: never stop, you Janis: that a request or a comment? Jimmy: What do you reckon? Janis: Maybe I'll pretend it's the option I prefer regardless Jimmy: can do Janis: tah for the permission Jimmy: well generous, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: I mostly meant it and all 😘 Jimmy: never said owt you don't, obvs 😘 Janis: especially not to you, baby Jimmy: stop making me miss you if you ain't showing up Janis: Stop distracting me and I'll be with you sooner Jimmy: you started it Janis: I purposely left so I didn't Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you did it before you left Janis: when? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I wanna know what distracted you Jimmy: you do Janis: Okay Janis: I wish you would tell me Jimmy: I don't have the words Jimmy: Bill's 👻 ain't here Janis: What's his order? Janis: tell me that Jimmy: Macchiato Jimmy: he's a slag for espresso but he 💕 foam 🎨 Janis: 😂 Janis: good answer, you really know all your customers Jimmy: that employee of the month 🏆 as good as has Jamie on it Janis: wait Janis: 😑 ugh Jimmy: ? Janis: Jamie isn't real Jimmy: What? Jimmy: 'course he is Jimmy: 👀 right at him Janis: 💔 Janis: why would you hurt me like this Janis: I was so excited to 👀 him Jimmy: He's got all the words for how distracting you are Jimmy: I probably shouldn't let you see him Janis: Please Jimmy: I dunno, he's a bit keen Janis: how keen? Jimmy: Bill'd be about it Janis: intriguing Jimmy: he is that Janis: How can I meet him? Jimmy: Haven't you got a plan? Jimmy: must not be that keen yourself Janis: I've only got to prove to Jamie how keen I am Jimmy: 🤞 he's easier to impress than me Janis: as easy as you are to make blush, I'll be 🤤 Jimmy: unless it's as easy as you are to make 😳 you'll be 💔 Janis: Do you want me to be 💔? Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Won't it be awkward for you? Janis: me and Jamie Jimmy: You doing this to try and make shit awkward for me? Bill will be gutted he missed the #drama Janis: That's not what I'm trying to do Jimmy: We've covered that I don't care what you do, Jules Janis: That's alright then Janis: I'll crack on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you've made me so 😭 Jimmy: Baby Janis: make it up to me? Jimmy: how? Janis: hmm Jimmy: Oi, don't leave me in suspense Janis: I mean, what's a fair trade for making Jamie so hot and so fake really Janis: you owe me more than a cigarette Jimmy: nowt ain't fair trade here, what do you want? Janis: 😏 Janis: nerd Jimmy: hate to disappoint Janis: Baby, you could never Jimmy: if you're 😭 I've let myself down though Janis: depends Janis: that lot are so permanently 😭 they must consider it goals Jimmy: Nah, you just can't put nowt they do in the #goals category Janis: you know how to make me 😊 Jimmy: you look so goals when you are, I have to Jimmy: it's a 🥇😊 Janis: 😳 easy, yeah Jimmy: take the 🏆 Janis: alright Jimmy: is it? Janis: why wouldn't it be? Jimmy: It's not usually that easy Janis: you've told me three times now, hard work Jimmy: I know, it were me who said it Janis: yeah Janis: a lot gets said Jimmy: loads of # an' all Janis: it's like reading between the lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 Janis: okay, convo 💀 got it Jimmy: come on Janis: Bill's is a macchiato, so I've heard Jimmy: He'll take a cold brew if it's ☀ Janis: Make me hate him more, honestly Jimmy: he's just trying to stay #relevant Janis: oh Bill 💔 Janis: ain't we all? Jimmy: would love to be irrelevant, me Jimmy: it's a hard life being this fit and mysterious 🎻💔 Janis: preaching to the preacher Janis: what a cross to bear Jimmy: don't rub it in that he's only got 😍 for you, girl Jimmy: 💔👴 Jimmy: I'm so 😭😭 and 😠😠 Janis: Oh baby boy Janis: I don't think a sexy old man costume is gonna be convincing enough Janis: gotta let you spread your wings Jimmy: too right it won't Janis: Well, I'm so SORRY I'm not enough for you! Jimmy: you should be Janis: you are so rude OMG Jimmy: you're so young and fit, it's well out of order Jimmy: what am I meant to do with that? Jimmy: gimme something to work with here, for fuck's sake Janis: God, when I signed up for a pervy older boyfriend, this is NOT how I imagined it Janis: fetishize my innocence ffs! Janis: like, you aren't even gonna try and use my inexperience to your advantage, WTF?! Jimmy: I dunno what to tell you, Joanne, dad's are a disappointment Jimmy: fucked if that weren't the type of daddy you were hoping for Janis: 😂 Janis: my own ain't such goals I'm tryna get another just like him, nah Jimmy: and I ain't got the 💰💰💰 so that's pissed on that angle Janis: guess it don't make no sense to keep you about Jimmy: on you go Jimmy: keep walking Janis: it's not been real Jimmy: it were real, baby and we were 🥇 Janis: 💕 Janis: very 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Jimmy: nowt to live for now Janis: nowt to die for either Janis: but if you're ready to take that break now, Mr Brightside Janis: [showing up outside like hello] Jimmy: [appears as fast as he can considering he's meant to be working hard] Janis: ['alright?'] Jimmy: ['you?' because can never answer anything ugh] Janis: [nods but the slightly awkward vibe again 'cos becoming less clear what's fake, what's pisstake and what's real every day yo] Jimmy: [ain't that the tea, lights them both a 🚬 cos of course he does] Janis: [takes it, grateful for the distraction as per, after a while, getting more comfortable in front of him again 'you are a dickhead though'] Jimmy: [gives her such an offended look like excuse you 'yeah but what've I done now?'] Janis: [taps his name badge like hi, Jamie but smirks and shrugs 'don't actually owe me anything for it though, guess I see the potential funny side of it when you're surrounded by dull basic bitches all day every day, like'] Jimmy: [takes off the badge and chucks it dramatically even though he'll have to pick that up before he goes back in but the gesture stands like ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?] Janis: [lols 'yes, that is exactly what I wanted, you nutter'] Jimmy: ['Good'] Janis: [just doing the thing where you're trying not to look so you just keep doing lots of little looks] Jimmy: ['What we doing in a bit?' because you're already thinking about her leaving after this and you don't want to not see her later] Janis: [shrugs again 'until our peers actually wake up and plan parties, the diary's free' 'cos most teens are so lazy compared to these two so who knows yet, oh I was thinking though we should do a rave and/or a festival moment with them in this hol both would work well as prolonged fake dating but also the scenes are busy enough they wouldn't have to be ON the whole time but we know they would 'cos shameless] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaaaaaas I love that, we could totally do both like a rave in a warehouse moment that's just a night but then a festival that's a couple of days maybe because he'd be so ! about leaving the kids behind then but not something he can take them to] Jimmy: ['we could do' cos imagine them trying to plan a party please] Janis: [I agree, I think they're both valid plans, 'cos everyone could be at both, so we can have whatever we wanna/need to happen happen] Janis: [raises her brows like whaaaa but then tilts her head like she's thinking about it 'well we are basically prom king and queen of the moment so'] Jimmy: ['I get that you might be worried 'cause of being a massively shit host but you'll have me' 😏] Janis: [tuts at him loudly 'like I actually want any of the cunts 'round here to ever have a good time' a look like do you know who you're talking to rn but then 😏 'would be worth it to beat them at their own game though, obviously'] Jimmy: ['we need somewhere we can properly trash, so we can have a good time if nowt else' because not doing it at his gaff cos of the kids as much as I'd love to annoy Ian and we want somewhere aesthetic because art hoe] Janis: [taps her head like good idea and now I'm thinking on it] Jimmy: ['I hadn't forgot I owed you one, babe, but you've still gotta help a new boy out on the actual where, soz' scrunches his face up like ugh I know, I'm the WORST] Janis: [squishing his squishy face always 'don't reckon even MY bathroom is big enough to host a decent party, sadly' #bathgateforever] Jimmy: [grins because that's given him an idea 'Alright but how badly do you want your REAL boyfriend's and biggest fan's attention? 'cause there's one place I've yet to get lost on my way to'] Janis: [the IRL equivalent of ? but excited with it like tell me bitch] Jimmy: ['how about we do it at school, my dear'] Janis: ['okay, that's a really fucking good idea' the biggest 😈 grin] Jimmy: [when you're buzzing because you thought she'd say no because of all the possible trouble you could get in, which we know is why you're doing it Jimothy the mood being fuck you Ian 5eva] Janis: [little do you know how ready she is to burn it all to the ground at any point lmao 'I'd kiss you if that weren't a punishment'] Jimmy: [irl 😘 'you know how Bill feels about lasses who doth protest'] Janis: [when we all know you meant it the other way 'round and the temptation to say as much is REAL but trumped by the desire to see this plan through/keep being 'friends' so you just smirk and hit him with a 'yeah, yeah' and move on with details 'I reckon most people will be dead up for it, long as they can run and deny all knowledge of the who and the how when shit hits the fan, like'] Jimmy: ['tonight then?' because the EGO of this boy who thinks he can pull this together and off in a few hours] Janis: ['why not' flicking the remains of her cigarette away with a flourish 'use how fast news travels 'round here to our advantage, as per' shrugs 'standard, really'] Jimmy: ['the dress code's black, that's the hill I'll die on' flips down imaginary 😎] Janis: ['fine by me' runs tongue across imaginary fangs like duh 'they can always fall back on their school uniform if they get stuck, bit cliche for my taste but they are so' a what can you do? shrug] Jimmy: ['pjs for you, girl, better hit the shops now if you're down to the emergency pink pair, like' shrugs back but 😏 as he looks at his actual real watch] Janis: [rolls her eyes at the suggestion and the implication she wears pink PJs, pushes him gently towards the door 'get back to work so we can get to work sooner, I'll catch you later'] Jimmy: [just looking at her because he does not want to gdi but then has to add an OTT pout because too real] Janis: [likewise so obviously has to be as OTT back 'parting is such sweet sorrow, yeah babe?'] Jimmy: [when you just hug her again like you did earlier before you can stop yourself like okay this is a thing we're doing with each other now bye] Janis: [just leaning into that like you're such a hugger usually sure] Jimmy: [we're just friends who casually hug yep] Janis: [so casual] Jimmy: [go back in and try not be distracted by your feelings and your big plans boy] Janis: are we taking credit or are we putting this out anon? Jimmy: Don't you want the 🏆? Janis: you just want a reunion with your 👮 pals, obvs Janis: I don't care, it'll out either way so may as well own it, I guess, if you're alright with that too Jimmy: You said you wanted to beat these dickheads at their own game, bit hard to do if they don't know we're playing Janis: can't cough without 10 people commenting on it 'round here anyway Janis: and who else would actually have such a 🔥💡 either Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 👍 Janis: no need to post yet, do it closer to the time it causes more hype/no time for it to get shut down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: You done this before? Janis: Party planning or breaking into the school? Jimmy: I already know you break into the school regularly for secret trysts with your 💕 Janis: no need when he's got the key 😍😍🤤 Jimmy: There's every need when he's 😍😍🤤 for danger Jimmy: unless his ultimate #kinkunlocked is your innocence Janis: Can only assume he 👂 to all those virgin rumours Jimmy: until I came about and he discovered he's all about that cuckold life Janis: all 👀 now Janis: from inside the wardrobe or whatever the fuck 😬😂 Jimmy: be loads of places he can 👀 tonight Janis: True Janis: loads of places to hide too, at least Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: such an athlete, nowt you can do but run Janis: Not scared of you, like Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: first thing I learned about you is how 🙀 you are Janis: Well, no need to insult your intelligence rn Jimmy: #notthickjustnorthern Janis: 'course, hun 😘 Jimmy: ILY babes 💕 Jimmy: tah for keeping it so real with me there Janis: you know me, keep it 💯👌🙏 Jimmy: fave thing about you, that Janis: Awh Janis: so cute! 💖 Jimmy: you know me, never off Janis: OMG, that's like, totally in my top 3 favourite things about you Janis: so crazy Jimmy: 🤖 kink unlocked 🎟 please Janis: erm have you know none of my friends require batteries THANKS Jimmy: 'cause none of 'em are fwb obvs Janis: do you reckon this party is the time or place to announce that downgrade in relationship Janis: get it together 👏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: If you've got a 📢 to hand? Jimmy: well I were gonna say on Mr Lucas but now I'm fuming that you're doubting the size of my gob Jimmy: Asia would never Jimmy: she knows 📏 matters Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll make sure to spread that 'round then, if that's the new rep you want Jimmy: if you ain't got enough to do, I'll @ my manager about some shifts we've got going Jimmy: put a decent enough word in for you, mate Janis: I'll go in for the cliche getting the hot one to train me but then I'm getting sacked before any of the skeleton gang comes through Jimmy: I would but I'm forced to spend enough time with you as is Janis: 🙄 you and your big head can get out the way, tah Jimmy: it's proper sweet of you to fake failing eyesight for me but you still ain't 👵💕 soz Janis: I knew you'd end up going fully dellusional Janis: gonna take ages to deprogram you 🤖 Jimmy: just hit the kill switch Janis: don't 👻 or @ me 'til I've finished my trial shift, thank you Janis: RIP 🌹 Jimmy: Ugh Jimmy: so hard to please, you Jimmy: 🥀💔 Janis: just tryna save your lil ghostie 👀 and 🖤 Janis: 'less you're really the one who's into waiting in the cupboard 🤔 Jimmy: Piss off Janis: Will do Janis: got shit to get, PJs to cop Jimmy: RIP to my concentration Jimmy: such a distracting mental image, that Janis: was your request Janis: so entirely your fault Jimmy: you doing what you're told now? 🤤🤤😍 Janis: Depends Jimmy: ? Janis: just how pink the selection is Jimmy: duh, I should've worked that one out Janis: also if I can find any without the sassy slogans slapped all over Jimmy: #whenyou'retoobittertobejuicy Janis: 😱 Janis: how Janis: DARE Janis: you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: no matching set for you now Jimmy: 💔😭 Jimmy: Baby please Janis: You'll have to dress yourself now Janis: as a straight lad, we all know you're incapable Jimmy: come on, be nice to me Janis: Why? Janis: you're so mean to me Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: never Janis: and now you're gonna gaslight me Janis: so typical 👌 Jimmy: Truce? Janis: Hmm Janis: calling that suspiciously fast Jimmy: No kid wants to have a party where their mum and dad are scrapping in the back Janis: Alright Janis: though I did not agree to raise any child with you Jimmy: I'll chuck the bag of flour before I get there then Jimmy: ain't named it or owt Janis: awh it looks like you Janis: so sweet 😂 Jimmy: might have to call him Jamie Janis: insensitive tbh Jimmy: don't sound like me at all Jimmy: is this gonna be the shortest truce EVER or what? Janis: if you're happy for me to be wistfully thinking about Jamie all the time Janis: then crack on, no arguments here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Oh Jamie Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: wish the school had a balcony Janis: fuck knows where I'm lamenting from Jimmy: get on the roof, girl Janis: 💀 pact request or? Janis: either way 👍 Jimmy: You still taking on board my requests or? Jimmy: #didwepeakwithpjs? Janis: wishing you used your wishes more wisely now? Jimmy: Is that a trick question? Jimmy: there's nowt wiser Jimmy: get you some slippers and we're near to 💕👵 Janis: 🖕 Dickhead Janis: the idea is to make everyone else 😩 not you Jimmy: we do Jimmy: nowt I can do about your face Jimmy: or your body Janis: devastating news Jimmy: I've had my 😭 about it Jimmy: old news Janis: let me mourn, god Jimmy: crack on Janis: [later] Janis: you out yet Jimmy: What do you need a hand to carry now? Janis: rude Janis: I'm bored Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: where are you? Janis: [a random location in town] Janis: been reminded why I hate shopping Jimmy: you don't wanna take #goals selfies with me then? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: obviously Janis: gotta get something out of it Jimmy: meet me at [somewhere they can be goals af] Jimmy: 🤞 I don't get lost Janis: Come on Janis: you must know your way a bit by now Janis: not that far Jimmy: yeah go there all the time, me Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'll start walking Janis: don't wanna make another poster Jimmy: but you LOVED the first one I done Janis: you're very talented Jimmy: 🙄🖕 Janis: Take a compliment, boy Jimmy: Give one that ain't a pisstake, girl Janis: Ugh Janis: that might be a challenge too far Jimmy: then like I said 🙄🖕 Jimmy: and you shut up, trying to get my bearings here Janis: you're adorable when you're lost Janis: that's sincere Jimmy: Where the fuck? Jimmy: this town is some bollocks Jimmy: can't find nowt Janis: See, precious Janis: did you live in a town before or like down a mine or whatever the fuck Jimmy: canary in a little cage, me Jimmy: just a lad and his 🎻 Jimmy: just the one 🥧 crust to ration out Janis: 💔 Janis: we get it, you can act alright 😏 Janis: the sob story ain't gonna save you now Jimmy: Are you gonna? Janis: don't I always? Jimmy: 💪🏆 you Janis: Tweet it so I know it's real Jimmy: [cue dramatic and 💕 tweet about how she's his saviour etc] Janis: coming for your 🥇 pisstaker 👑 with that one Janis: fairplay Jimmy: well I actually need you, bit real that Jimmy: if I said it I'd have to 💀💀💀 or worse, delete Janis: 🤐 Janis: I'll never tell, don't worry Jimmy: using you like a sat nav ain't very #goals Jimmy: reckon the secret's safe Janis: you mean your lack of direction isn't Janis: how unmanly of you Jimmy: it's a crap shag rumour waiting to happen Jimmy: Asia would dump me and my life would be OVER Janis: Nah, blind loyalty is their only redeeming quality Janis: 💀👑 ain't even tried to fuck them and they still stick around Jimmy: In fairness she'd probably ⚰ if she did have a go Janis: says you Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: your stamina ain't braggable with those lungs Jimmy: HOW DARE YOU Janis: whoops Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: could run rings around you, smoke and actual Janis: there's fake and then there's madness Jimmy: there's 🙀 and then there's you Jimmy: sort it out Janis: Who's scared? Janis: Literally any time you wanna have an asthma attack, babe Janis: I'm ready Jimmy: yeah right Jimmy: all chat, you Jimmy: ain't even found me Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: ❌ marks the northern lad Jimmy: get a move on Janis: shut up then Jimmy: If you need a hand that desperately I'll send you 🚬☁ signals Janis: [showing up like hilarious] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna jump into her arms like a damsel in distress but obvs does not] Janis: [puts her arms straight down at her side like won't catch you boy] Jimmy: [does a pouty face and puts his hand out like hold it or I'll get lost again] Janis: [🙄 but does it, obvs] Jimmy: [deliberately goes the wrong way because nerd] Janis: [swinging him 'round like nope] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['can you drive?'] Jimmy: ['Are we stealing a car before or after the break in?' because he can but he can't answer a q] Janis: [shrugs 'I can take the speakers from home without it being suspicious but if I ask to drop 'em off at the school, like' gestures like you see my point 'someone will pick us up for a crate, no big'] Jimmy: ['I could take my dad's car but I dunno if they'll fit' shrugs 'be gutted he didn't get that very important memo about how much size matters'] Janis: ['yeah?' bites lip whilst thinking, tapping foot up and down 'should fit, just put the backseats down'] Jimmy: [when she looks so good biting her lip that you nearly lose yourself in the music AND the moment 'Alright' because he knows he's gonna get in trouble for this anyway and that's the whole point, in for a penny in for a pound] Janis: ['first stop yours then? whilst he's still at work' when you're looking like are you sure but you aren't going to ask] Jimmy: [typical that he lives right by the school and she lives 42 years away lol 'owt else we need from here?' gestures around vaguely with a 😒 face like ugh shops and people gross] Janis: ['better get that crate still, party'll supply itself but I still want some shit for us'] Jimmy: [nods and gives her a look like better get several cos can't resist calling her a pisshead] Janis: [pushes him lightly 'oh, and how many packs do you need to get through, Mr. Buzzkill?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic idk there's no way to know gesture 'such a lad, me, with SUCH good stamina] Janis: [😏 'come on then' and dragging him towards the shop like let's hurry it up] Jimmy: ['get ready for your close up and we can do the photo shoot in the car'] Janis: ['born ready- with this face, and this body' 'cos we ain't forgotten] Jimmy: [trying not to 😳 so hard rn] Janis: [knows and is buzzing about that payback] Jimmy: [lowkey nearly pushing her into some women having a chat in the way of everyone cos that playful shove] Janis: [unrepentantly not soz at those women but 😒 at him] Jimmy: [😏 to hide that he is soz cos didn't mean to do it that hard] Janis: [shoving all the booze at him like go get this but giving him the cash too 'cos not that mad] Jimmy: [does because whipped] Janis: I'm off out 'fore I get lynched Janis: you can find your way back from the tills without me, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Adorable Jimmy: Shh Janis: Stop being so damn cute Janis: never getting served with that baby face Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You're too young and I'm too 😎 Janis: Spoilsport Jimmy: few drinks in me and you'll be 🍑📞 Jimmy: hang on in there, baby Janis: yeah Janis: gonna look top in my pjs Janis: who could resist Jimmy: have to be a 💪🏆 lad than me and there ain't none about Janis: Tah for being so real about my chances, like Jimmy: what are mates for? Janis: gonna hold my hair back too? Jimmy: yeah Janis: looking for a promotion to bezzies forever Jimmy: it's just always in my fucking way Janis: ? Jimmy: your hair Janis: oh Janis: fair Janis: if you didn't always go for the neck, would be less of an issue Jimmy: Alright, I can take a hint Jimmy: tonight I'll kiss you somewhere else Janis: [not answering 'cos 😳] Jimmy: [when you think she's not answering because she's like GOD NO levels of horrified] Janis: [ah miscommunication, least she is literally outside so we don't need to angst] Jimmy: [coming out cos job done, take a sec to impress her with how strong you are carrying all that shit] Janis: [lil clap and feeling his biceps like Prue] Jimmy: [🙄 but loves it] Janis: ['back to yours now?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you proper miss her' shout out to Twix] Janis: [nods like 'course 'and we need to get changed to meet your self-imposed dresscode; good as you look'] Jimmy: [looks down and shrugs cos it's probably black tbh but we know you ain't going like that boy] Janis: ['and you have a car to steal' like need I remind you of the plan] Jimmy: ['ain't really stealing if you just grab the keys of the hook, but alright' keeping this so casual] Janis: ['trust you to wanna make it legal and boring' 👮 ref 'still not got insurance or a license, even if you are 45'] Jimmy: [a look like OI so offended 'loads of ways we can make the drive less boring, if you wanna get involved, Jill' stop making it so sexual thank you we all know that's what you mean] Janis: ['Obviously' a LOOK for good measure 'cos we all know what you mean 'not gonna make you do it alone, not very friendly' taking some of the supplies like see] Jimmy: [such a LOOK back] Janis: [don't drop your shopping lads] Jimmy: [that'd be awks, at least they don't have that far to go for this leg of the journey cos he doesn't live in the middle of nowhere] Janis: [shoutout ian for that one thing and one thing only] Jimmy: [when you gesture for her to light you a 🚬 for this one time only because your hands are full af] Janis: [thrilled about the novelty of that tbh] Jimmy: [don't think about how she'd have to get it out of his pocket and put it in his mouth and all that jazz #accidentalhotness] Janis: [its a mood and a moment and we're just trying to get home without dying here, also gonna have one herself 'cos duh] Jimmy: [so much eye contact goodbye] Janis: ['you're fully aware how much shit we're gonna get in, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic OTT gasp like it only just occurred to him just then] Janis: [nudges him like but really though] Jimmy: [looks down at all the shit he's carrying 'bit late for you to back out, but if you're gonna, go on, we can still half this'] Janis: [shakes her head 'nah, I know, I'm making sure you do, so we're good then'] Jimmy: ['not thick, just northern'] Janis: ['alright, hail of bullets it is then, babe'] Jimmy: ['that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me' cos have to lighten the mood when you know it'll be BAD when Ian finds out about any of this and like you want that but you also don't] Janis: [😏 'yeah, yeah'] Jimmy: [strutting along but in non-awkward silence for a bit] Janis: [living laughing loving like you're not about to get in so much trouble lolollol] Jimmy: [do we wanna skip to his gaff so no other moments happen along the way lol?] Janis: [probably, let's not get carried away yet when there's a whole night ahead] Jimmy: [you're still sober rn lads give it time] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [when he'd have to check in with Cass and Bobby before he can even do anything else remotely, making them cups of tea and food and all kinds of bollocks, you better have walked that dog while he was at work kids we don't have time] Janis: [forever awkwardly there like hello] Jimmy: [like excuse him while he has a little argument with his sister cos she's had bobby all day and he's only just got back and he's basically gonna go straight back out] Janis: [soz girl, just going outside so they can do this in private like you're gonna smoke but you definitely ain't] Jimmy: [he's right back to being stressed because what a day we're having Jimothy, trying to do everything you gotta do with a clingy little bro in your face rn] Janis: [the joys of being an unwilling parent to your siblings truly] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's forced them on the trampoline like let's all calm down] Janis: need me to do anything? Jimmy: 💀💀💀 us Janis: us in the singular or us as in me and you or us as in you want me to family anihilate Janis: the important questions save from awkward misunderstandings later Jimmy: right now I ain't that fussy, babe Jimmy: suit yourself Janis: Generous to a fault Janis: it's impressive Janis: I'll put the drink in the car Jimmy: 💕 Janis: set up the hose and all Janis: whenever you're ready, babe Jimmy: I read that you meant for a 🚿 Jimmy: about to bring up that rich v poor divide again there Janis: as much as the neighbours would be 👀 behind their curtains Jimmy: 👵💕👴 Jimmy: proper cheered me and Doris an' all, tah Jules Janis: any time Jimmy: you can use our actual 🚿 if you need though Jimmy: sight of you would 💀💀💀 her off Janis: Cheers Janis: couldn't hurt, even if there's no decent lads to pull 💔 Jimmy: that screenshot is being @ed to Mr Lucas Jimmy: such a heartbreaker you Janis: s'alright, just tell him he's a man not a lad Janis: answer for everything me 😇 Jimmy: get out of my bathroom actually I've gotta 🤢🤢 Janis: so jealous, so immature Janis: 😂 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: how mature's that? 😘 Janis: SO impressive Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: you know it Janis: of course Janis: I am getting in now though so if you're actually gonna come in, bring your 📷 or don't, like Jimmy: that ain't fair, I already know what an exhibitionist you are, gimme a new kink to unlock Janis: I'm not making it any easier for you Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: not even 🥉 behaviour, that Janis: sort it out Jimmy: Alright, dickhead, appreciate the shot's fired but I still ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: Shame Janis: and no 🎟 for that one either, I know Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: there's your 🚿🎵 Janis: Tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [after a suitable shower time] Janis: your turn Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: [awkward meetcute on the landing] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [also she'll either be in a towel or in what she's wearing so either way we can assume 😍] Jimmy: [we all know what you'll be doing in that shower boy] Janis: [oohlala] Jimmy: [at least Ian ain't there to lament his water bill] Janis: [gonna have bigger problems soon soz not soz dickhead] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [meanwhile not lowkey knowing where to put yourself rn, 'cos you don't wanna get up in the kids grill but also feels presumptuous just being in his room but ultimately where you're gonna be 'cos can style that out better] Jimmy: [bowl in with your towel on to make this more awkward] Janis: [just like um ah sorry run lmao] Jimmy: [put your clothes on and go find her sir] Janis: [just chilling by the car probably] Jimmy: [open the door for her thank you] Janis: [tipping your imaginary hat] Jimmy: [illegal driving time, don't die please] Janis: [to her house, which whilst so much faster in a car, still forever lol] Jimmy: [put your easter rising playlist on kids] Janis: [soundtrack to your love tbh] Jimmy: [and don't forget to stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere for your photoshoot moment] Janis: [so important, vital, some would say, ie yous two] Jimmy: [it's been an age by your standards cos he didn't post the bench moment the fans need #content 👌] Janis: [when that was too #personal we all know it] Jimmy: [whenever her actual name gets used it's too personal that's the tea] Janis: [no pretending then] Jimmy: [lbr there's barely any even this early on] Janis: [when you're just bad at this but that works in favour of being believed 'cos it's real lmao] Jimmy: [imagine if it was all fake like alright well bye] Janis: [you thought lads] Jimmy: [they'd have to be 🤖] Janis: [and you ain't, despite efforts bitch] Jimmy: [just like imma spend all this time with you and chat with you always but idc tho] Janis: [so realistic, the facts are if you actually intended to fake date you would have to do so little to make it seem legit, you don't need to really date lol] Jimmy: [literally could have do what Buster did for like 3 years and made someone up, he could've easily pretended he'd left someone up north but no] Janis: [like we know these girls are pushy but come on lol] Jimmy: [he's perfectly capable of being an antisocial dickhead and getting them to lose interest] Janis: [mhmm lmao, we see you, idk why we're shading as if this isn't out plan, like admit you fancied each other!!!1] Jimmy: [when it's a bestselling book/netflix show peeps gonna be shouting] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do we wanna do a skip or have you got anything you wanna do on this drive while they bonnie and clyde 39ing it] Janis: [hmmmmm, part of me wants to do it but maybe we should skip idk] Jimmy: [if you wanna do it gal we shall 😘] Janis: [tings could happen as they do] Jimmy: [thank god he needs to keep his eyes on the road because I can only imagine how 🔥 she looks rn] Janis: [I need to find pics but defs a lewk, totally for your benefit whether we're admitting that or obvs not, boy] Jimmy: [I'm being cockblocked as standard but he'd be serving a lewk also in the effortless way he do] Janis: [we're all 😍 up in here but still, conversation lmao 'did your dad teach you to drive?'] Jimmy: [such a bitter laugh because Ian would never 'I get it, the deathwish is a strong one, but let's get the party over and done with first, yeah?' because you know Ian would be a crap driver all that road rage] Janis: [obvs senses that's a no-go topic area and nods 'works for me, not a very cool way to die, 'less we're driving off a cliff' ha ha mems bye] Jimmy: ['controlling carpet salesman is more your type than the easy-going musician which is awkward' cos the musician's name is Jimmy I lol 'and you love a flirtatious stranger an' all'] Janis: [lols 'well, what a drag, not even gonna counter it because would LOVE a new carpet right about now'] Jimmy: [looks down at the floor of the car like understandable 'if you could keep your legs closed for a bit so all my savings don't get nicked by some obvs irresistible dickhead, I'd love that though'] Janis: ['I make no promises' 😏] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ugh what am I gonna do with you] Janis: ['am I the hot one or nah though?'] Jimmy: ['Your shit taste is well documented' like you tell me] Janis: [shrugs like boy idk 'not got it memorized' 'cos lowkey has no clue] Jimmy: [shrugs back like neither do I as if he didn't just drop all that plot on her] Janis: [🙄 'well now I'll never know just how much of a drag it was'] Jimmy: ['I'm the hot one, you should know that'] Janis: [offended noises] Jimmy: [poke her like excuse you but keep 👀 on the road so god knows where that hand is gonna land] Janis: [flapping his hand away like get off 'I am not willing to say you're the hot one, thank you'] Jimmy: ['what are you willing to say then?' why you gotta be so flirty boyy] Janis: [raises her hand like she's swearing in court ['the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God'] Jimmy: ['sleepover was the other night, mate'] Janis: ['they weren't having no game of truth or dare with us' face like I wonder why lmao] Jimmy: ['gonna need you to take one for the team and express my heartbreak' cos he can't do 💔 hands while driving] Janis: [does 'though you're the only one not playing nice right now so, think on'] Jimmy: [risking a look at her like ?] Janis: ['we could play right now' like duh] Jimmy: ['what dares can I do with both hands on the wheel?'] Janis: [snorts 'don't tempt me' but shakes her head 'called TRUTH OR dare, just pick truth, and I gave you the chance to ask me first anyway'] Jimmy: ['I can't be pulling over every time you want me to do something' and a LOOK soz drivers 'but alright' cos can't turn down a challenge ever] Janis: ['you can keep your hands where I can see 'em at all times, promise' returning that LOOK but being 😳 by the time he's turned 'round 'go on then, ask me something interesting'] Jimmy: ['Nah, lasses first, gimme a dare, if you can think of owt'] Janis: [a sigh like fgs boy 'no, alright, let me think then' humming and tapping your lip to show how hard you're thinking about this 'alright, truthfully, if you HAD to bang one of the flat whites, who would you pick?] Jimmy: ['your sister' because honestly Grace is the least annoying not just cos Janis is not gonna be happy about it though that's a bonus] Janis: [retches 'shut up and pick someone else'] Jimmy: ['Don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it'] Janis: ['it's not the truth, you're a dick'] Jimmy: ['Yeah it is'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [nudges her like cheer up] Janis: [just shifting your body out of reach like no] Jimmy: ['Stop being a dickhead'] Janis: ['You first'] Jimmy: ['It were your question, I'd be a dickhead if I never answered'] Janis: ['we're not playing anymore'] Jimmy: [sighs but doesn't say anything] Janis: [turning up the music] Jimmy: [awkwardly driving] Janis: [getting herself a drink from the back probably very inelegantly climbing over all the shit, which is a bit rude but here we are] Jimmy: [a long enough pause that he easily could have dropped the topic but has not 'who did you want me to fuck'] Janis: ['Literally anyone but my sister, it's not hard'] Jimmy: ['would be' because ew imagine any of them and him] Janis: ['forget it'] Jimmy: ['You first'] Janis: ['fuck off, I don't have to do anything'[ Jimmy: ['I don't have to fuck your sister, it were just a game'] Janis: ['go for it, it's such an easy choice, like'] Jimmy: ['shut up, I don't wanna go for it'] Janis: ['whatever'] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like what the fuck are we doing this for if I was just gonna get with any of them, don't crash please] Janis: ['stop looking at me and focus'] Jimmy: [dramatically but safely thank you pulls over so he can just stare her out because that bitch] Janis: ['what are you doing?'] Jimmy: ['What are you doing?' so annoying] Janis: [the exasperation just like bitch, getting out 'I'm walking'] Jimmy: [obviously also gets out 'you're being a massive twat'] Janis: ['then get back in your car and leave me alone'] Jimmy: ['no'] Janis: ['well I'm not getting back in'] Jimmy: ['Well it's getting left here then, wherever the fuck here is'] Janis: ['Don't be ridiculous'] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: ['I've not done anything wrong, I want to walk, go away' pushing him in the general direction of the car] Jimmy: [gets back in the car like fine but it's not fine] Janis: [just sitting on the side of the road fuming 'cos you've not even got the speakers yet] Jimmy: [when you can't even have a drink #gutted] Janis: go to my house Janis: I'll tell my brother you're coming to pick the gear up Jimmy: I'm not going without you Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: get in Janis: don't look at me don't talk to me Janis: alright Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [gets in and slams the door] Jimmy: [well this is fun kids, but hey at least we're moving again] Janis: [dramatically looking out this window] Jimmy: [turns the music up even more] Janis: [turns it down 'cos petty] Jimmy: [is so 😒 but leaves it] Janis: [get these speakers quick] Jimmy: [imagine the weird vibe when they do, oooh someone's had a domestic] Janis: [also gotta hope said sibling doesn't dob you in 'cos Jimmy is not old enough to be driving we all know this] Jimmy: [also hope Grace isn't home cos AWKWARD] Janis: [safe to say you will not be coming to this soiree anyway] Jimmy: [thank goodness none of them are for a multitude of reasons] Janis: [just both dying to be out this car now, on your phone giving people details so at least you've got an excuse/something to do] Jimmy: [what a hilarious drive back that would be] Janis: ['everyone's coming'] Jimmy: [nods in recognition of her saying that but we all know he's not bothered rn] Janis: [what if she invited Pete though] Jimmy: [BITCH OMG DO IT] Janis: [dragging you into this soz boy] Jimmy: [because they haven't been coupley af at his work yet or anything and neither of them has really interacted with him so it makes it more blatant] Janis: [gotta be done] Jimmy: [I am living] Janis: [we can probably skip now we aren't getting past this lol] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, like all he's gonna do is get back dump the shit then take the car back and check the kids are okay and then walk back to the school all in a moody silence so] Janis: [we know the vibe, blatantly taking advantage of how fast this party is gonna get out of control to avoid each other] Jimmy: [raid Ian's stash while you're there boy because stronger stuff that's so needed] Janis: [sudden life and soul like excuse me whilst I talk to everyone and accept all the drinks etc] Jimmy: [the fakest she's ever been] Janis: [hostess with the mostest] Jimmy: [we all know that's a fuck you too cos he called her a shit host] Janis: [getting turnt, locating Pete] Jimmy: [he's straight up gonna drag her away from that boy, soz pete] Janis: [he's gonna be so confused like hello? meanwhile 'well, that was rude'] Jimmy: [having to style it out to everyone like I just really miss her excuse me 'rude is right, what did you invite him for?'] Janis: [shrugs 'cos he's cool?'] Jimmy: ['how the fuck would you know?'] Janis: ['I talked to him' that was barely an exchange but pop-off 'anyway, there are so many people here, what does it matter?'] Jimmy: [😒 af but you can pretend it goes with what you're about to say 'my manager gonna turn up in a bit an' all or what?'] Janis: ['if he's cool too, maybe'] Jimmy: [walking away but giving her a look like you're such a dick] Janis: ['great talk' shouted after him] Jimmy: ['if you were cool, might've been' shouted back because so mature] Janis: [💔] Jimmy: ['Open with that, next lad you have a great talk with'] Janis: ['Thanks for the suggestion' and walking away to get fully lost in this crowd] Jimmy: [likewise walking off to somewhere he can be on his own or as close to that as we're getting in this chaos] Janis: [least there is an abudance of classrooms, they can't all be full yet] Jimmy: [get drunker because what could go wrong there] Janis: [oh lord, the only way is down] Jimmy: [I've just had the MOST EVIL thought because Pete also smokes do you see where I'm going with this] Janis: [I think I do you lil shrew] Jimmy: [not actually a MOMENT but when you're jealous af everything's a moment] Janis: [is nothing sacred] Jimmy: [how dare you smoke with other hot baristas] Janis: [you don't even smoke lol] Jimmy: [so yeah do you wanna do that? 😈] Janis: [why not, we're out here fucking everything up now] Jimmy: [when you're straight up just gonna try and leave this party boy please I'm not allowing that] Janis: [when you don't even get why he's just immediately turned around so offended so you think it's purely 'cos he doesn't want to see you rn so you go off into the main hall again like okay] Janis: go smoke, I've moved now Jimmy: go where you like Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: erm why Jimmy: 1. you heard me before, fuck who you want but don't make me look a twat Jimmy: 2. I don't need to be here Jimmy: 3. I don't wanna be here Janis: 1. I've not fucked anyone Janis: 2. so you're gonna leave me to get in trouble when that's the entire point of this whole thing to you, apparently Janis: 3. see 2 Jimmy: I've got no shortage of shit I can do to get in trouble Jimmy: You can have this one Janis: Bullshit am I taking the fall for you now Jimmy: bat your eyelashes and tell it were all my idea Jimmy: nowt even fake in that Janis: fuck off with that too Janis: you're being so stupid Jimmy: yeah proper smart move to be all over my co-workers Janis: Hardly Janis: I was talking to him, not a crime Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I have to see him every day at the same place those bitches go every day Janis: So Janis: I thought you might like someone here you actually know Jimmy: So it ain't very goals when your girlfriend is a massive slag Janis: I already told you Janis: I was talking to him, fuck all else Jimmy: And who else 👀 that? Janis: I've talked to plenty of people here Janis: and the reason I'm not talking to you is your fault so you can't put that on me Jimmy: Get in a darker corner and get a bit closer, sure we can still spin that so it's my fault somehow Janis: Jesus, I'm not an idiot and I'm not trying to fuck him Jimmy: we're surrounded by idiots, stick to the fucking script or exit stage left Janis: I'm making best of the situation Janis: but fine, let's both leave, this whole exercise has been fucking pointless Jimmy: Me an' all, this ain't happening to me again Jimmy: I loved her, I don't even like you Janis: What are you talking about Jimmy: leave it out Janis: You said it Janis: typed it Jimmy: I can't hypothetically fuck your sister with a gun to my head, you can't actually fuck anyone I know Janis: We were having a cigarette, that's what you 👀 Janis: if that pisses you off then you can see why you pissed me off Janis: that's that Jimmy: I never said I couldn't see why you were pissed off Jimmy: not blind Janis: Yes you did Janis: you still don't even get it now, so fuck that Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: but I'm never going near your sister Janis: then you don't Jimmy: I didn't invite her here to piss you off Janis: You didn't have to pick her Jimmy: You wanted honest Janis: Yeah, and if you can't see she's the worst Janis: then I don't want to be your friend and you don't get it Jimmy: I picked her 'cause she's barely spoken to me Jimmy: she's never barged in on me in the bathroom or awkwardly flirted with me Jimmy: there's nowt else to it Janis: I'm over this Jimmy: come on Jimmy: I don't like anyone, least of all any of them Janis: Fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: Sure Janis: it just proves how stupid this is Janis: you don't know me, I don't know you, we've got nothing in common Jimmy: that were the point Jimmy: you can't fake owt with someone who knows you Janis: that ain't the point in being friends Janis: to think we could do both was the mistake Janis: so let's drop it Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: but this party were a good idea Jimmy: is Janis: I hope so Jimmy: just stay Janis: whatever Janis: I had and ave reasons to be here too, I never said I didn't Jimmy: yeah Janis: enjoy your party, Jimmy Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Make it a lot later okay Jimmy: suits me Janis: when are you going to be done with this? Jimmy: When are you? Janis: I'm fine now, no one thinks I'm gay Janis: but I'll hold up my end of the deal Janis: so get to your end point and tell me Jimmy: Lasses are gonna fancy me however long this goes on, soon as we end it I'll be back at square one Jimmy: might as well do it now if that's what you want Janis: So what was your plan Janis: do it 'til you found a real girlfriend, what? Jimmy: how do you expect me to plan for that level of crazy? Jimmy: I'll be gone soon Jimmy: be a new boy somewhere else Janis: You'll forgive me for not having much sympathy Janis: only been dealing with it forever Janis: and when is that gonna be, exactly Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ my dad and ask him Jimmy: doubt he'll mind Janis: I don't think either of us knew how long we were signing up for Janis: that's the point, yeah? Jimmy: don't worry about it, this party'll get me one foot out Janis: Good Jimmy: steady on, we ain't gotta have nowt in common Janis: You aren't funny Janis: so no danger Jimmy: ain't gotta be that either, have I? Jimmy: trying to repel the lasses not the other way round Janis: you aren't that special, you know Jimmy: it's not me saying I am Janis: no Jimmy: just trying to keep my head down Jimmy: it ain't my fault they like the look of it Janis: you've really fucked everything up Janis: but maybe that ain't your fault Jimmy: I have got form, probably is Janis: You love moping Janis: have it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you lie Jimmy: What? Janis: I ust wanna know what the point of saying you wanted to be my friend was Jimmy: I weren't lying Janis: You clearly didn't want to be my friend Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: Come on Jimmy: you Janis: You'd give a shit now if you did Jimmy: I do give a shit now Janis: about how you look Jimmy: stop chatting shit Janis: I heard you the first time Janis: none of this is remotely about me Jimmy: everything I do is about you Janis: You don't need to chat shit just 'cos you reckon I am Jimmy: you're my first thought in all this bollocks Janis: Yeah, and you hate me for it Janis: it isn't my fault they won't leave you alone either, alright Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I know that, not fucking braindead Janis: then don't treat me like I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't need to go on about what today's been like, you've been about for most of it Janis: Yeah, alright Janis: I'm sorry for inviting your coworker Jimmy: Alright Janis: Actual truce then Jimmy: might last a fucking minute this time, like Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: weren't promising nowt Janis: just warn me next time you're gonna have a meltdown and we'll be fine Jimmy: you were the one who stropped out of the car, babe Jimmy: didn't get a single 📷 Janis: and you're the one who wouldn't go to my house alone so Janis: we'll have to have a truce Janis: and I'm in no state now Janis: the evidence of this party will speak for itself Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #whentheonlycrimecommitedisthelackofselfiesinthatoutfit Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: at least come here so I can 😍😍🤤 over it Janis: tell me where you are then Jimmy: 🎨 room #duh Janis: 'course you are Janis: see if I remember where it is, get lost for once instead of you Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: bathroom Janis: where else do girls go to 😭 Jimmy: [draws her an adorable quick little map] Janis: Cheers, nerd Jimmy: now you can always find me when we're stuck here 💕 Janis: Cute Janis: fucking weird being here at night Janis: not that I think we will be much longer now Jimmy: do my 🥇 work at night, me Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: I'm not gonna grade you Janis: given how tense things are already, risky game Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me it's top marks Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: Colour me unsurprised that you're class show-off Jimmy: don't say a word, me Jimmy: there's no need Janis: oh God Janis: you're insufferable 😂 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: shh Janis: or I'm purposely getting so lost Jimmy: have to find you for once Janis: I'm good at hiding Jimmy: I'm good at 👀 Janis: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: 😱 Jimmy: told you I weren't blind Janis: I stopped listening after you said you wanted to bang my sister Janis: which speaks to the contrary 🤷 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: you would've heard me say sorry if you were bothered Janis: I'm bothered Jimmy: so what you just want another one? Janis: Maybe Jimmy: gonna have to do something for it since you ain't listening to nowt I've said Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: Now I know why you wanted a dare Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: I'll do owt you want so you know how sorry I am Janis: Don't say that Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's been one of those days Janis: and I'm too drunk to be sensible Jimmy: that's why you should let me make it up to you Jimmy: or it'll keep on being shit Janis: okay Janis: but you do what you think Janis: I'm not telling you to do anything Jimmy: just for tonight or ever again? Janis: like I tell you what to do all the time Jimmy: I'm just saying, might be a dealbreaker Janis: Oh right Janis: it's a kink, I forgot Jimmy: taking your 🎟🎟 off you Janis: 😣 Janis: I'll tell you what to do Jimmy: go on Janis: come out and find me instead Janis: I can't be just me and you right now Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: how far did you get? Janis: corridor Janis: don't call me scared Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [such an intense LOOK in every sense 'cos what a time we're all confused and frustrated] Jimmy: [giving her those 😍 he said he would and MORE lbr] Janis: [when I'm like you're staying still girl I don't trust you lol] Jimmy: [when I'm like who's around that you can use as an excuse to do what you really want lol] Janis: [there'd be people and that was my shameless vibe 'cos no going back if it happened when you were alone] Jimmy: [just really intensely kiss her in between saying how sorry you are then boy, I insist] Janis: [so about it there's no denying] Jimmy: [thank god they can forget because drunk if we need them to because DAMN] Janis: [god damn x3] Jimmy: [also thank god he's wearing more clothes than her because once again she's basically in the same boat as on school trip and they're just dry humping all over everything so casually] Janis: [put some more clothes on hoe lol but never do and seriously, this is enough of a show without how bad you wanna go further] Jimmy: [a hoe never gets cold especially in April] Janis: [it's basically Summer lmao] Jimmy: [they should go back to the art room at some point if they can ever find chill for a paint fight cos they wearing black it'd be 🎨] Janis: [that's a good idea] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think how they can lowkey trash the place and that seemed an obvious one] Janis: [I am down, if they ever stop lol] Jimmy: [which they won't for an age if ever lol] Janis: [how are we stopping y'all ahh] Jimmy: [someone could always basically fall on them cos drunk chaos] Janis: [that would work, break the spell casually] Jimmy: [especially if it's a heavy lad even you two can't just ignore that] Janis: [just 😒 but not at him so improvement lol] Jimmy: [don't fight him Jimothy just go have your paint fight and live your best life] Janis: [we all know you were very in the way lol] Jimmy: [as standard, so go handhold your way back to the art room as is also your standard] Janis: [being like 'which is yours?' like a parent coming to see your work on parents evening] Jimmy: [getting shy like] Janis: [squish.that.face 'go on' nudges him] Jimmy: [the most exasperated sigh ever like she is a parent suddenly lol] Janis: [walks around looking at the work herself like okay, okay, 'I'll work it out'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she's checking out the 🎨] Janis: [when he's done enough doodles that you could pick them out but probably not 📷 'did I find them all?'] Jimmy: [just taking her to all the ones she didn't but he can't look at them because he's awks] Janis: [just approving like get it boy but silently and low-key 'cos not that bitch, turning round 'where do you sit then?' and sitting on his desk when he tells her] Jimmy: [sits on his chair so they're accidentally really close to each other] Janis: ['this is how porn starts' saying what we're all thinking] Jimmy: [loling] Janis: [😏 but tension] Jimmy: [😏 back forever] Janis: ['teach me then'] Jimmy: [gets out art supplies like a nerd] Janis: [buzzing like show me how to art] Jimmy: [what's a art thing he could teach her how to do? hmmmm] Janis: [thank god she's got some skillz even if drunk, don't wanna be tragically shit] Jimmy: [imagine, they'd be arguing again like immediately] Janis: [we don't need that tah] Jimmy: [christ knows what he's teaching her but it's a moment] Janis: [obviously gonna involve paint and obviously gonna splodge a bit on his cute concentration face to start this paint war] Jimmy: [get her back on her 😏 face because she would be and we all know] Janis: [I wish pinterest would come through for this but I already know lol] Jimmy: [I will look but they won't even serve me an outfit for him so probably not gonna happen] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [on the one hand I want other peeps to show up so they can attack them but on the other I don't because just jj things] Janis: [we probably should to avoid another Moment TM] Jimmy: [yeah at least when there's at least a couple of other people around we can pretend it's fake, there's no going back otherwise] Janis: [we can feel it coming lads] Jimmy: [so can they and that's the tea] Janis: [mhmm mhmm] Jimmy: [you deserve this carefree paint fight and ensuing makeout lads, shit is gonna hit the fan soon enough] Janis: [what kind of fallout should we do?] Jimmy: [that's a good question cos we know Ian is gonna 🥊 but yeah we need to decide how hard to go with everyone else] Janis: [like assuming the police get called to shut this down, I reckon you'd just get a warning/or maybe a community service vibe, that could be fun to do actually] Jimmy: [LIKE IN STEP UP but obvs not at all because they ain't cleaning no dance school but yass I like that idea] Janis: ['cos then even if Ian is like can't see that girl again they still will 'cos gotta go do this lol] Jimmy: [exactly and school will have to start eventually so you can't stop him then even if they get put in isolation or whatever they'll still find a way] Janis: [the rom and jules of it all] Jimmy: [you'll enjoy that both of yous] Janis: [not that you'll enjoy being separated the rest of the time 'cos so highkey heheheh] Jimmy: [though I'll enjoy not having to think of ways to cockblock you all the time] Janis: [just parents being parents 'cos you broke into and trashed your school lol] Jimmy: [this'll be a good reason for cali/the fam not to like him cos that was the vibe for why she had to invite him round to dinner remember when] Jimmy: [even though they would've totally done this when they were younger bye] Janis: [exactly yo, and likewise doesn't listen to them anyway so it's as much of a cockblock and not as we need so] Jimmy: [is there anything else you wanna do/have them say to each other before we 👮🚓?] Janis: [hmmm we've covered a lot of emotional ground I feel so we're probs good?] Jimmy: [I'm good with that]

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: This flight is long Rio: longer 'cos I don't wanna be on it 😒 Buster: Don't, I'm dreading flying back Rio: Can't stay there forever Rio: Unless you ask for that transfer too Rio: only fair Buster: We both could Rio: I really would have to buy my way in Rio: maybe my parents are susceptible to that kind of bribery, like you WANT me back in school, yeah Buster: You're forgetting I know how smart you are, babe Buster: They'd be lucky to have you, even though you're the most distracting Rio: 😏 Rio: Yeah, no way you'd be allowed when your grades mysteriously plummet Buster: Though I've just discovered that catching up on my work actually takes much less time if I ignore all the girls that are offering to help me right now Buster: So there's that Rio: Who'd have known, eh Rio: better than me, I don't even want to think about work or any of it yet Buster: I have to, 10 days is a long time, even though it didn't feel like long enough at all Rio: I know Rio: You'll do it though Buster: I've already done loads Buster: I started as soon as you left Rio: 🤓 Rio: but seriously Rio: well done, baby Buster: If I thought about you I knew I wouldn't be able to stop Buster: You were right when you said it'd be worse after Rio: I know that too Rio: feel that too Buster: At least if we were both thick we could pretend we ain't done the maths on how long it is Buster: The curse of perfection, like Rio: Truly Rio: we've both waited longer Rio: just gotta think how good waiting made it, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: Not that I should be thinking about that at this exact moment Rio: Sorry Rio: having trouble thinking about anything else still Buster: Me too Rio: Headfuck Rio: nowhere near as fun Buster: Fun not being the word Rio: not even close to good enough but as I said Rio: preoccupied still Buster: You've got more privacy in first class than I do here right now Buster: Use it Rio: But Rio: you've spoilt me Rio: I want you Buster: But I wanna watch you Buster: I miss you Rio: You know how to break my resolve but what happened to yours Buster: I reckon I'm due a break Buster: You know I like to play as hard as I work Rio: Then let's play Buster: I'd play with you until you were begging me not to & the pilot had heard enough to risk crashing the plane Rio: You know I like danger Rio: but I'm feeling like begging for more, not less right now Buster: Go on then Buster: Convince me Rio: [pic on the floor 'cos that first-class legroom honey] Buster: Maybe you can have some more Rio: Only maybe Rio: okay, you need some more first too Rio: hold on Buster: Are you sure keeping me waiting is the best idea? Rio: It was that or give the poor air hostess a show she didn't ask for whilst she was topping up my drink Rio: [audio this time] Buster: She might have liked it Buster: You are good Rio: Would you? Rio: Enough marks I'm never forgetting who I belong to Buster: Is she hot? Rio: Yeah, pretty cute Buster: I'm not sharing you for 'pretty cute' Rio: Well I'm sure she's more your type than mine Buster: You're my type Buster: If you don't want her, I don't Rio: I want you Rio: no one else registers Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause I need you. Nobody else Rio: You've got me Rio: it's different this time in every way Rio: just 'cos I'm going, I'm not gone Rio: whenever you need me Buster: Wherever too, yeah? Rio: Of course Rio: even if I could say no to you, got no desire to Buster: Baby Rio: That stil gets me weak Rio: how the fuck Rio: I read that in your voice Buster: Everything I do makes you weak, that's why Rio: yeah Rio: good thing you can be strong enough for the both of us then Buster: Not sure the hotel staff would agree when we broke the bed but I'll hold you up same as I did then Buster: You don't ever need to touch the floor when you're with me, babe, unless that's where we both want you Rio: That was so awkward Rio: just means we get to go to a new and better hotel next time though so Buster: For somewhere so old school the future didn't have much staying power Rio: That Freudian slip really tell me how it be Rio: won't get used to these heights, don't worry 😉 Buster: 😂 Buster: When I've also been dyslexic all this time Rio: 😏 Nancy gonna be so pissed Rio: don't take her struggle and overcome it, babe Buster: If anyone could Buster: I'm definitely not gay though so Rio: Don't be tryna 💔 that hard Buster: I can't, I promised Rio: Yeah Rio: and lbr, I could turn ya Rio: if anyone could Buster: I don't want any other girls but you that's as close as ever got Rio: They don't deserve you Rio: and they can't do you like I can Buster: I meant it when I said you're the best thing that's ever happened to me Buster: You just keep making that more & more true, like Rio: don't plan on stopping any time soon, don't you worry Buster: Don't stop Rio: I won't if you don't Buster: That's not gonna happen Rio: then never Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: I read that in your voice & I can't fucking handle it Rio: I've not said anything as much as I've said your name Buster: Don't stop that either Buster: I love the way you say it Rio: Keep giving me reason to Buster: Easy Rio: Would be right now Rio: this seat is so big we could share Buster: & Everyone wears headphones so there'd be no need to stay that quiet Buster: All we'd need is a blanket Rio: Complimentary, of course Buster: Just like me. I'd be so nice to you, baby Buster: The entire flight Rio: All the way home, daddy? Buster: Of course Buster: I'll let you recover in the cab while carry your bags in & then come back for you Rio: I want that Rio: it's going to be so shit when I get off this plane and you ain't waiting for me the other end Buster: I won't let it be Rio: I'll be fine Rio: just miss you Buster: I've sent you a surprise, it'll be waiting for you to compensate for the fact I can't be Rio: You're so fucking nice Buster: You haven't opened it yet 😈 Buster: There are loads of things to remind you of me Rio: then that's still really fucking nice, no matter how 😈 everything is bound to be Rio: I'm excited Buster: Show me when you unwrap everything Buster: I wanna see your face Rio: Okay baby Rio: Indie better not open it 😂 Buster: I thought of that so I sent it to your mum & dad's Rio: So smart Rio: although I will now have to bullshit my way through a fake holiday with them Rio: but could be vaguely entertaining Buster: Okay so I didn't think that hard ahead Buster: But you'll be fine Rio: Yeah Rio: lowkey a turn-on 'cos whilst I'm selling them the lie, get to think of what we were actually doing Rio: so don't worry, babe Buster: I feel that, so many people have asked me if I'm feeling better Buster: The yeah's not even a lie but Rio: 😏 Rio: The shit you shouldn't do is always the most fun, just facts Rio: secrets are fun too Buster: Yeah Buster: That's why the party's are so wild here 'cause the drinking age is ridiculous Rio: Init Rio: you ain't even meant to be fucking Rio: America and it's morality Buster: The coke is great though Rio: 😂 Buster: Well, now I wanna go out Rio: I'm sure everyone's missed you Buster: Obviously Rio: You said you've earnt a break Buster: I took that, I gotta do more before I get another Rio: Don't let me distract you then, babe Buster: But that's what you do best Buster: Don't let me stop you Rio: Gotta priortize Rio: how you wanna play Buster: With you Buster: There's no contest Rio: then don't get completely off your face when I'm stuck in the air Rio: can't get on that level Buster: No brandy, I hear you Rio: mhmm Rio: you dumb Buster: Behave Rio: Not if you aren't Rio: no fair Buster: I won't do anything you don't want me to Rio: You can go Rio: not a buzzkill Buster: You've already proved that, you don't need to now Rio: Sorry Rio: I just turned my data back on and instantly regretted it Rio: that's the real comedown Buster: Tell me Rio: It's mostly just the mundane shit Rio: but loads from him obviously Rio: 'cos I told him I was going, so he wouldn't show up when Indie was home alone or something Rio: but clearly he took that as 'I wanna talk again' Buster: He didn't & Indie's alright, yeah? Rio: Yeah, I've been messaging her on socials, she's fine Rio: why I turned my data off, he's blocked everywhere but texts so Buster: Then give me his number, I'd love to talk to him Rio: I can't, he probably knows who you are Rio: he knows everything it's bizarre Buster: He'll know exactly who I am when I'm done Rio: Hot Rio: seriously, forget about him Rio: ain't giving him the attention he wants Buster: That'd be fine by me if he wasn't giving you attention you don't want Rio: I can handle that Buster: I know but you shouldn't have to Rio: It'll quiet down soon Rio: we all got crazy exes, those of us that do repeats anyway Rio: he'll get a new girl and I can get on with my life without him in the background, like Buster: If you say so, babe Buster: I trust you Rio: Good Rio: don't worry Buster: Don't make me Rio: I won't Rio: promise Rio: least the rest have let themselves be ghosted with dignity so that's something Buster: That don't mean don't tell me, you know, before you promise Buster: Ignorance ain't bliss Rio: I'll tell you if I need to, yeah Rio: trust, no one needs this play by play Buster: If you need to for any reason, not just if you need me to sort it Rio: I promise, okay Buster: Okay Rio: So, what do you reckon, is anyone here got enough clout that they looked the other way when checking their bags for bags Rio: I'm bored Buster: Probably Buster: They only care about terrorists Rio: Tell that to Drew, let him know, like Buster: Not until I've gone though Buster: Cheers Rio: don't wanna hit him up to soon Rio: I ain't looking to have a stomach full of crack tah Buster: Fair Buster: When I say you can do anything, not what I mean Rio: Not my aspiration in life, gotta be said Buster: At least the ones you do have will keep you busy until I'm done here Rio: Then what Buster: Then I'll keep you busy all summer Rio: Mm, sounds like a plan Buster: It is, babe. It's my plan Rio: Um, OURS Rio: 'scuse you Buster: Alright, ours Rio: Always trying to claim the best ideas Buster: Hit me with your best right now Buster: I dare you Rio: Answer this call Buster: [does obvs] Rio: [put on that facetime show but try and be quiet please] Buster: [we know that ain't gonna happen but at least don't be as loud as you could be] Rio: [getting kicked off the plane is not goals lol] Buster: [at least he can afford to buy her another flight but still probably don't] Rio: [just thinking of that gifset lol] Buster: [god bless] Rio: see Rio: full of good ideas Buster: You really are Buster: Fuck Rio: don't doubt me again, yeah Buster: Sorry babe, but if it means you'll be that inspired, I might have to Rio: Alright Rio: I don't hate proving you wrong, I guess Buster: Behave, I wasn't wrong Rio: 🙄 Rio: admit it, I have the best ideas Buster: You have good ideas, I never said you didn't Rio: You implied it Rio: you're mean 😏 Buster: You're into it Rio: Only sometimes Rio: the rest you gotta treat me like 👑 Buster: You ain't gotta tell me how to treat you. I know Rio: Yeah Rio: you're good Rio: 😇 Buster: No, you are. It's that simple Buster: I wanna give you what you deserve Rio: You deserve that too Buster: As long as I keep making sure I deserve you that's all that matters Rio: stop making me weak Buster: You're all I want, you already know that Rio: but I feel stupid how much I want you right now Buster: Don't Buster: It's not stupid Rio: It's just Rio: what if it all goes wrong again Buster: I told you, I'm not gonna let that happen Rio: You know, that'd be worse this time too Rio: and I just don't want that Rio: so we can't Buster: We won't Buster: I need you, Rio Rio: I need you Buster: You can trust me Rio: Okay Rio: I don't know how this happened Rio: but I know we have to roll with it Rio: the alternative doesn't work Buster: Yeah Buster: & I know I ain't the same cunt I was before this Buster: I don't wanna go back Rio: Me either Rio: so we won't Rio: easy Buster: I really miss you though, that ain't Rio: Yeah Rio: I never wanted to leave Buster: I didn't want you to. I still don't Buster: Come back Rio: I'll turn this plane 'round Rio: hold on Buster: If anyone could, babe Rio: If we'd have got caught earlier, maybe Rio: but you'd have to talk them out of that no-fly list, probably Buster: We can always go again Buster: I've got you Rio: How are we ever gonna get anything done Rio: when we're so distracted Buster: You've distracted me since we were kids Buster: Things get done 'cause they have to, like Buster: We'd be your ex if we didn't, that's all the motivation you need Rio: who needs the books or inspirational speeches Rio: ugh Buster: We're gonna do epic shit, me & you Rio: You know it, babe Rio: what choice do we have Buster: There's always a choice but we're making the right ones. End of Rio: can make the wrong ones sometimes though Rio: just for fun, like Buster: Stop making it really fucking hot, I'm trying to motivate you Rio: 😋 Rio: please motivate me Buster: Jesus Buster: I actually want you constantly Rio: I know Rio: no matter how deep you go or hard or whatever it's never enough you're so Rio: I can't be close enough to you Buster: If anyone else said that to me I'd have lost my shit in the total opposite way to how I am now Buster: Do you know how fucking special you are to me? Can I ever explain, like Rio: 'Cos you feel it too Rio: you know exactly what I mean Rio: I just want you, in all aspects of my life Rio: nothing else is interesting to me now Buster: I feel emotional, shut up Rio: That's what I was saying Rio: weak Rio: idk, don't planes make some people emotional Buster: I'm not on a plane & I can't be weak Rio: Yeah you can Rio: who am I telling, and what Rio: you can be whatever you need with me Buster: Can I? Rio: Yeah Rio: of course Rio: I want you to Buster: I've just never Buster: Felt this, done this Buster: Any of it Rio: It's different from anything I've ever experienced too Rio: but you know Rio: I can be strong for you too Rio: I don't want you to think it's one way Rio: another stress Buster: I don't think that Buster: I know how strong you are Rio: Good Rio: you can trust me too, okay Buster: I do Rio: Ugh Rio: fuck Rio: I miss you Buster: Seriously, come back Buster: We got away with it, we can again Rio: I'll lose my job Rio: you'll lose all that cash Buster: I'll get you a new job Buster: When you want it Rio: 😏 how are you gonna do that then Buster: I live in Dublin too, I know people Rio: I thought you were motivating me Rio: not being a bad influence 😈 Buster: I'm motivating you get what you really want Buster: Me Rio: Baby Buster: Please Rio: You know it's exactly what I want too Rio: but we can't Buster: Nobody can stop us, except us, & why should we if that's not what we want Rio: 'cos you've gotta focus on school whilst you're there Rio: and I've got stuff here that I've gotta do too Buster: This school requires no focus, compared to the one back home it's like nursery Buster: I know you're worried about Indie but it ain't your job to raise her Rio: but someone has to Rio: you know he can't Rio: don't Buster: Let your parents then Buster: They want to Rio: They clearly have a great handle on the kids they have Rio: not like their 16 year old has just been...where, with who? Rio: it's not that simple Rio: never has been, sad but true Buster: Come on, that's different, we're not kids Rio: I wanna say yes but I don't wanna break a promise either Buster: I know, it's okay Buster: I'm not trying to put pressure on, like, I am but only 'cause you should be making choices for you Buster: Like you said, you're 16, we ain't kids but you ain't gotta live like you're 36 Buster: What about Drew's sister, can't she help? Rio: I can never just make choices for me though Rio: she's already upset I left, and all the other kids act like I ditched them becaused I moved out already Rio: like it or not, that's how it is for me Rio: she does, but Indie is Rio: hard to manage, like Buster: Forget I said anything Buster: It's only a couple of months now anyway Buster: I'm being unfair Rio: You aren't Rio: it is what I want Rio: and I want you to be happy too Rio: but we got some shit we just gotta do, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: That's life Rio: Mhmm Rio: stupid real life Buster: It's a shame we can't bring Indie here, she'd love it, like Rio: Seriously Rio: she'd have no issue saying yes Buster: She might have an issue with me & you but who won't Rio: Well yeah Rio: that's a whole other subject Rio: she's easily distracted but probably not that much Buster: Even your little brothers ain't that out of it Rio: no, they ain't Rio: that's gonna be harder too now Rio: being around everyone Buster: Yeah Buster: It's fucked Rio: We can do it Rio: we'll have to but Buster: At least it's always been like that for me, I'm sorry I brought you there too with yours Rio: What do you mean Buster: Your fam love you & shit Buster: You know Rio: Yeah Rio: yours do too though Rio: not me, though sure, everyone does Buster: It's not the same Rio: no, true Rio: it's not like my family is idylic Rio: everyone's got their shit Buster: 'Course Rio: I'm saying, I was already there Rio: you ain't done anything, so don't need to apologize Buster: I've done loads to you over the last few days but sure Buster: Not sorry for any of that Rio: 😏 definitely don't be Rio: I'm not Rio: even if it is a shame I can't tell anyone just how good it was Buster: You can Buster: Just think up a new boyfriend that you just have to come back & see ASAP Rio: Okay Rio: but they ain't gonna KNOW the level 'cos they won't know it's you Rio: have to keep that my secret, like Buster: Secrets turn you on, there's no denying it Rio: You turn me on Rio: it's total coincidence Buster: Yeah? Rio: I mean, yeah, it's seriously hot 'cos you're off-limits but I think I'd still want you if you weren't Rio: don't you think? Buster: Obviously I would Buster: Look at you Rio: 😋 Rio: exactly Rio: just a bonus who you are Rio: don't see me trying to get on any of my other cousins like, ew Buster: You're funny Rio: Does that mean you really don't think I am or Buster: It means you're making me laugh Buster: Maybe I'm just fucking hysterical still but Rio: awh Rio: I love your laugh Buster: Don't take the piss Rio: I'm not Rio: I'm sad I can't hear it Buster: Don't be sad either Rio: I'll try Buster: Try for me, baby Rio: 🤤 Buster: I'm in a state, why did I go out? Rio: For the coke, mostly Rio: you gone? Buster: I don't feel here Buster: But maybe that's 'cause you aren't Rio: Babe Rio: What do you need, what can I do? Buster: I'm alright Buster: Have to be Rio: You don't have to Rio: but if you're gonna be a mess be safe Buster: I don't wanna be a mess Rio: 'course not Rio: but sometimes we all have to be that too, like Buster: I can't Buster: You said it shouldn't be conditional, but it is Buster: When I fuck up they stop caring about me Rio: They still care it's just they don't show it in the right way 'cos they're disappointed Rio: it's still something, even if it feels like shit Buster: Bullshit. Nance is more than disappointed for one Rio: Well that's different with her Rio: stuff happened you'll have to agree to forget or talk about Buster: Don't hate me again, okay? Ever Rio: I never did, not really Rio: but I'm not going either, alright Buster: Yeah, don't Buster: There's nobody here that's Rio: That's what? Buster: It just feels like there's no one here but me Rio: You're just far away Rio: from real people Rio: and people who really know you Rio: but you're okay, I've got you Buster: I don't want that anymore Rio: What do you want? Buster: Things that are real Rio: Let's make that happen then Rio: we'll find real things for you Buster: You're real for me though Rio: Yeah Rio: Just 'cos we have to be apart for a bit, doesn't mean it's gotta be how it's always been Rio: I can talk to you all the time, be so annoying, I swear Buster: You're so cute, I swear Rio: Shh Rio: you Buster: No, 'cause you are & you don't know Rio: You're so sweet to me Buster: Not as sweet as I wanna be Buster: I don't know how to do that Rio: Well I like you Rio: I can always teach you Buster: You never did teach me how to kiss so Rio: You still want lessons, baby? Buster: Don't tell me I need 'em Rio: I don't think so but you sound like you're still bitter about it Rio: plenty other things I can show you Buster: Bitter ain't the word, don't worry Rio: Kid didn't stick around to dare us to try again, like Buster: He wanted your first kiss that's why Buster: Didn't reckon on me having it Rio: I'm glad it was you Rio: not gonna forget your name, like Buster: 😂 Rio: Serious Rio: got enough regrets since Buster: They'll motivate you if I can't Rio: you reckon Buster: 'Course Buster: Gotta keep doing better Rio: Yeah Rio: 'til what? Rio: what's the end goal? Buster: It's never over, you can always improve from where you were or get somewhere else you wanna be Rio: I guess so Buster: You calling bullshit? Rio: Nah Rio: Just thinking Buster: What? Rio: Just about what I want Rio: what I don't Buster: If you're about to dump me, you've really picked your moment, babe Rio: Shut up Rio: no Buster: Like cheers for letting me have these last few days first but Rio: 😂 Rio: Stop Rio: like you're getting off that easy Buster: You know you can get me off very easy, that's why I want you to stay Rio: 😏 Rio: touche Rio: and works for me Buster: Works on you too, everything I do for you Rio: You know you make me feel good, baby Buster: Better than good Rio: Yes Rio: happy Buster: You make me feel happy too Rio: Good, that's all I want Buster: Nothing else? Are you sure? Rio: Well Rio: if you're offering Buster: I am Buster: What do you want? Rio: Just you Rio: and you and more you Buster: I told you, you're fucking cute Rio: I just like you Buster: You're making me blush Rio: You're making me miss you so fucking much Rio: the cutest Buster: [sends pics of his cute face] Rio: 😍 Rio: you're unreal Rio: and mine Buster: I wanna kiss you so badly right now Buster: All these girls here & none of them are you Rio: It's so rude and unfair Rio: your lips are so soft Buster: I'm not gonna stop there Buster: Your skin is flawless Buster: My mouth needs to be on all of it Rio: Are you gonna be gentle? Buster: At first Rio: Buster Buster: I just like you too Rio: I know Rio: Be back soon Rio: okay Buster: Okay Rio: We're gonna have the best summer Buster: I promise Rio: 😊 Rio: we should go away somewhere else Buster: Where do you wanna go? Rio: Hmm Rio: anywhere hot Rio: the less clothes you need the better Buster: Fine, I admit you have the best ideas Rio: 😏 Rio: THANK YOU Buster: Don't shout at me Buster: So rude Rio: How could I Rio: being 'round you, making me forget my manners, I reckon Buster: You've gotta be a good girl Buster: Angelic like Buster: Who else is gonna balance me out Rio: Only for you Rio: 'cos you ask so nice Buster: Yeah, nobody else Buster: You're my baby, not theirs Rio: I'm so ridiculously yours Rio: I don't need nobody else Rio: or nothing Buster: I'll make sure you don't Buster: Give you everything Rio: I know you will Rio: you do Buster: Tell me I can get on a plane too & meet you there Rio: Is this a test Rio: of how good I am Rio: 'cos 😩 Buster: It's just what I want Rio: Me too Rio: you're fucking addictive Rio: actually Rio: sounds so cringe for how real it feels Buster: I can't tell anyone even if you said the most embarrassing shit ever uttered Buster: But that's not Buster: It's accurate Rio: Keep it in mind Rio: I still fucking feel you but not enough Rio: just aches Buster: Me too Rio: No matter how many times I make myself cum, I'm still craving you Buster: That's the hottest thing & also exactly how I feel Rio: Kinda never want this plane to land Rio: unless it's back with you, obviously Rio: real life is the worst Buster: If you don't land you can't open your present though Rio: that's true Rio: I should probably sleep but I don't wanna Buster: Dream about me Buster: That was real life too & it was the best Rio: I like sleeping with you Buster: Get on the phone, I'll tell you a story Rio: If you get any more daddy you're actually gonna have to put a kid in me Rio: warning you, like Buster: I'm keeping up with you, going home to be such a MILF Rio: 😂 Rio: you're just too fucking hot Rio: it's dangerous Buster: Don't worry baby, I'll keep you safe Rio: Stop Rio: or Imma come back and fuck up your whole life Rio: 😏 Buster: Come back & be my whole life Rio: 😍 Rio: I swear to GOD, boy Buster: Swear to me, you know you want to Rio: Fuck Rio: just fuck me Rio: fuck my whole life Buster: [calls her so he can sorry everyone] Rio: [either making this flight very interesting or very long for everyone else lmao] Buster: [at least she's not in business class that's just pervy men but she could've got that promo tho] Rio: [pass a bowl round] Buster: [lol imagine] Rio: [better leave this ‘fore an ily slip]