#anyways guess who's youtube completely stopped working

[arolesbianism]

Hm. I am getting the distinct feeling that either revanced broke or some apps are doing smth real shitty

[stevieschrodinger]

Baker Steve/Rock Star Eddie wrong number AU

Part One

Part Two

PART THREE

"It's like a TV show, but on YouTube."

"Right," Steve answers, half listening to Dustin's explanation, "so it, like what, has an air time, or whatever?"

"Yeah, like a series."

"And it's just, what, famous people playing dipshits and dickheads?"

"Steeeeeeeeeeeevvvvveeeeeeeeeeee why are you like this?"

"Dunno," Steve shrugs, trying to read a recipe online. Unfortunately that's resulted in his having to scroll past someones entire fucking life story and he's ready to give up and try and work out the dumb Oreo cake recipe himself, "just lucky, I guess."

Dustin drops his head on the kitchen counter like Steve is the greatest difficulty he's ever going to face.

"So why do you need to be here to watch this?"

"Because we all want to watch it together, the guests are Corroded Coffin, they all like, play, the whole band, it's so cool-"

"Corroded Coffin? Playing your nerd game?" Steve's interest leaks through before he can stop it, "I mean, like, I think I've heard of them?" The last thing he needs is the kids finding out he's been kind of friends kind of flirting kind of maybe wants to date the actual Eddie Munson.

Dustin looks at him skeptically, "yeah...so you-"

"You can all watch it here, it's fine...I'll make cookies."

Dustin's completely distracted by his own success, instantly whipping out his phone to inform the other kids. Steve's pretty sure their group chat is called 'No Steve's allowed' but he hasn't actually found out for sure yet.

Steve does bake cookies. All the kids are gathered around his smart TV, absolutely demolishing them while they wait for this thing to start. It's like, an actual channel, with intros and graphics and stuff, a logo that reads 'Final Roll.'

And there's Eddie and the band, sitting around a table with two dudes who must run the channel. They all have the bits of paper and dice and little figures that Steve's used to seeing when the kids commandeer his dining room table.

There's preemptive ramble, and Steve leans forward a little every time Eddie's in shot. He's relieved all the kids are all sitting in front of him and all glued to the TV, so he can ogle in peace. They do introductions, and then everyone introduces their characters.

"May I introduce Sir Steven, the half elf paladin," behind Eddie Gareth rolls his eyes so hard his whole fucking body moves. Steve can see him and Geoff mouthing something to each other. Steve can only assume it's because Eddie has named his character, presumably, after him, "he has a sworn oath to always protect those weaker than himself."

Steve's heart fucking melts.

Steve's phone is buzzing. He's prepared. He knows Eddie's back in the country, they've been talking for months. Steve's kind of done waiting, and he's ready to press his advantage. He's had this set up for a little while, just waiting for the right moment. He presses play, and then answers the phone.

"Hey Stevie how-...are you listening to Corroded Coffin?"

"Yeah, yeah," Steve turns it down, bomb dropped, trap sprung, advantage played, "the kids absolutely love them, they're trying to get me into them even though they're not exactly my thing."

"Right, ah, right, what do you, uhm, think?"

"Yeah. Still not my thing-"

"Oh."

"But I really like it when the lead guy sings."

"...yeah?"

"Yeah, not the like, shouty growly singing, I can't understand a fucking thing he's saying-" Eddie chuckles, "but like, the parts where he properly sings. I think he has a beautiful voice."

"I ah, well, I mean, I bet the, uhm, shouty bits are hard work, you know. I expect that takes a lot of, you know, practice. Hell on the throat. I imagine, I would guess anyway, I don't actually, like know-"

"No no, yeah, well, maybe he should just sing more then, save those vocal chords, or whatever. I'd like that a lot."

"Yeah?" Steve can practically hear Eddie blushing down the phone. Eddie's so cute when he goes shy.

"Yeah." There's a long beat of silence before Steve goes in for the kill, "the kids are trying to get me to go see them. They're in the states now, apparently. Will be playing a gig in Indie."

"Yeah they are- I mean, I assume they are, most bands, uhm, yeah-" And Steve is hardly holding it together, Eddie is such a bad liar, and he's trying so hard not to lie at all. Steve doesn't know how he;s keeping his tone normal and not letting the whole ass cat out of the bag.

"And the kids are absolutely itching to go, you know? But tickets man, they're all doing every chore they can find to get some extra cash, but tickets are pricey, and for eight of us? Because I'll need someone else to help me chaperone and, you know..."

"I. I might...know a guy. Maybe. Like, because of the band I might...know someone who can get you tickets."

"Seriously? Eddie that would be incredible, the kids will absolutely loose their shit."

"Yeah, ah, is your work email cool?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course of course, man, the kids are going to love you for like, forever."

And maybe I will too, Steve just about manages to keep the words inside.

@steves-yellow-cardigin @melodymeddler @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao

@superduckmilkshake @she-collects-smut @paintsplatteredandimperfect @resident-gay-bitch

[jj0latunji]

Unprofessional(M) - KSI Imagine

Wanted to read some more JJ stories on here and grow the audience so I took matters into my own hands so hopefully you guys enjoy.

The original version of this written by my friend is over on Wattpad so go give it a read.

Also love to @grace-xix for all the love on here , go read her stories cause it's some of the best on here.

Anyways here goes nothing xx

Also here's JJ and Ethan doing whatever this is

"Y/N stop being lazy and serve that customer." My manager snickered as I sighed.

I had been on my shift for almost 6 hours now and the loud music and the constant orders had taken a toll on me. Adding to that my manager never seemed to get the idea of a break so I had to stand at the bar and serve drinks the entire shift no matter how I felt.

I hated this job and I had gotten it only because I wanted some extra money for college and I was waiting for the right time to quit and search for a new job. I wouldn't say this job was a complete shitshow because I found my soulmate here.

JJ Olatunji, my boyfriend who I met when I was bartending here about 3 years ago. We hit it off immediately and even managed to hook up during my shift which angered the manager so much that he didn't pay me for the week. Amazing sex though so I didn't mind.

Me and JJ have been together for more than two and a half years now and things were looking amazing. We had decided on an apartment together in London to move into and I was also looking to start my own YouTube channel just like JJ had because he said it pays well and was low effort, so I could still concentrate on college.

I then realised that the customer was waiting for me to take their order , so I walked up to the bar and took their order and started making their cocktails. I handed them the cocktail and greeted the next customer but was instead suprised to see a familiar face that instantly made me forget all my troubles.

"Hey babygirl..." JJ greeted me taking my hand in his before kissing my knuckles.

"Hey babe , what you doing here." I asked him suprised as he squeezed my hand comforting me.

"I know your shift ends soon so I wanted to come pick you up but I'm here a bit early I guess." He said with a chuckle as I nodded.

"Well you can go sit at one of the tables, here take your strawberry daquiri." I said to him before making him his favorite cocktail and handing it to him.

JJ just thanked me and walked away and took a seat at a table but then he mysteriously winked at me and pointed towards his phone and told me to check mine.

I quickly told my fellow bartender to cover my station for a while before quickly making my way towards the back where I saw JJ stood with a smirk.

"I knew you couldn't resist." He said with a chuckle as he opened the door to one of the private rooms away from the main club.

"Yeah only because you look too hot in those tight pants , fuck me you look hot." I said as I locked the door and pushed him onto the sofa chair.

Hin wearing that particular pair of jeans always turned me on cause it usually left little to imagination.

"Don't get me started on how hot you look. I don't get how you manage to look this stunning despite working your ass off." He said as I straddled him.

"Just fuck me before someone figured out I'm not at the bar." I said with a smirk before bending down to kiss him.

He gripped my thighs making me moan into the kiss allowing him to push his tongue into my mouth as the kiss turned more hungry and lustful.

"Remove this.." I said unbuckling his belt and opening up his pant as he kissed down my neck and removed my bra from underneath my top.

I finally got his pants off which left him in his boxers and he pulled my skirt up so that he could line himself up with my slit.

"Fuck I love this top ." He said pinching my nipples through my top as I gently grinded against his erection, letting him feel my wetness.

"You brought it for me to be fair , now shut up and fuck me." I said lifting myself up a little as he pulled out his painfully hard cock, veins and all prominent as his precum coated his tip . He pulled my panties to the side with a smirk before finally burying himself in me completely.

"Fuck you always feel so perfect..." He said slowly swirling his hips around, letting me get used to his size.

"And you fill me up so perfectly, no one else can , no one hits that spot in me like you do , no one can make me feel like you do " I said seductively as I slowly began to ride him making him throw his head back.

"Fuck . " He moaned as he finally removed my top and threw it to the side revealing my perky tits to him and he wasted no time in running his tongue against my hard nipple as his fingers played with the other.

"Yes...JJ." I said as I felt him take my nipple in his mouth and lightly bite down on it. This seemed to turn him on more as he thrusted upwards matching my movement as the tip of his dick grazed against that spot in me that made me let out almost an animalistic moan.

At this point I was not worried about anyone hearing or interrupting us as all I cared about was reaching my high.

"Fuck that's it , let go, let me take over." He said as he quickened his pace , thrusting up harder as I felt my legs go weak and my eyes roll to the back of my head.

He slapped my ass and guided me downwards to match his thrusts to make sure he reached even deeper in me and soon he felt me tightening around him , making him smirk at me and pull me in for a kiss.

"Let go babe , let all your tension go." He said rubbing circles around my clit before pulling me in for a passionate kiss as I reached my climax with a scream muffled by JJ's lips on mine.

He kept thrusting up chasing his own high as he held my body close to his. Soon I felt him finish in me with a groan as we both slumped into the chair.

"Oh shit it's time to sign off from my shift, why don't we go continue this back home." I said kissing JJ's neck leaving dark purple marks on his skin.

We cleaned ourselves up in the private washroom before dressing ourselves up and walking back out to the bar to see the manager searching for me with anger on his face very evident.

"You go get the car , I'll be out in a few." I said kissing JJ and sending him away before going to face my manager.

"Where the hell have you been , don't tell you you hooked up with your boyfriend here again , how can you be so unprofessional." He screamed at me as I sighed . Yeah I quit.

"I know what I did now was unprofessional but all of us know you are the most unprofessional person here. You overwork and underpay us and don't even deny it cause everyone here knows it's true and I know you'll lose your mind and fire me but before that I want to quit , fuck you " I said matching his voice before removing my tag and leaving it on the table and leaving.

As I walked out I saw JJ stood near the door with a bright smile on his face , instantly making me feel better.

"I'm so proud of you." He said giving me a much needed hug before leading me out towards his car.

"It was a long time coming , I need to concentrate on college anyways." I said as we both got in the car.

"Don't worry about finding another job babe , me and Simon will teach you everything about YouTube tomorrow and I'm sure with your amazing personality you'll soon find your audience." He said taking my hand in his.

"Thanks Jide ." I said before kissing his knuckles.

"Also can I say something else...." He said with a smirk.

"Go on." I said with a chuckle.

"You screaming in there all angry really turned me on." He said turning the car on.

"Awwh is my JJ turned on ..... Do you want me to scream at you too." I said pinching his cheeks as he laughed.

"Why don't you scream at me when we get back home." He said with a wink.

"Anything you want darling." I said as we set off back home.

[imnotsimpingyouare]

ENAMORED (III)

Modern Hantengu clones x Reader

Featuring:

"Pissed Cubicle Worker" Sekido

"Depressed Programmer" Aizetsu

"That Guy in the Alley" Karaku

"Unfunny YouTube Prankster" Urogi

"Disappointed Grandpa" Hantengu

"Delinquent Middle Schooler" Zohakuten

"Possibly a Criminal" Akaza

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

You will not be shipped with Zohakuten or Hantengu because:

A.) One is an old man

B.) One is a young boy

Ty for your time 😌

We're going with Zohakuten to school :D not really but like yk

I decided to give the bb a little crush because him trying to figure himself out would be so funny 💀

Also fem!Y/N gets a date with the mystery criminal man 🤨

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Zohakuten shut the car door, feeling triumphant. Guess who's getting ice cream after school? Equally as good as getting a rise out of his teachers.

He wandered into the building, fashionably on time for once. The bell rang right as he stepped in, and all of the kids began heading to class. The main hall was.. huge, to say the least. Two sets of stairs surrounded a balcony over the cafeteria, and to his left were halls sprouting in different directions. The green and white checkered floor squeaked with all of the shoes walking on it.

Zohakuten's first class was Mathematics, the worst class. Well, they were all insufferable, but Math was the worst.

He walked through a hall to his left, passing the music rooms on the way. Some of the rooms he passed were smaller with sound-proof glass doors, sometimes with stands and chairs set up in them. He never bothered to look, but he stopped at one when he heard the sound of a piano.

A girl sat there, her brown hair covering her face. Her fingers danced on the keys, and Zohakuten leaned closer to the glass to listen. Suddenly, her phone lit up, and she looked his way.

Oh no.

In an instant, he goes into fight or flight mode, choosing to fight his way to victory. He tosses his phone onto the ground, bending down to pick it up.

Will she fall for that?

Beads of sweat form on his forehead when he looks up and sees the girl completely unphased and wearing an unreadable expression.

Okay, now it's time to run.

The day was only getting started.

○○○○○

The old man stared at you for a moment.

"Amazing! When will you come to stay?" He said in his trembling voice.

"Umm, I don't know. I'm not nearly done here, and I still have to pack and move all my things..." You begin, but he hushes you.

"Nonononono, sweet girl, I will send my sons to help you move. They could use the work out. Especially that one," He says, pointing a shaking scrawny finger at Karaku, who is standing there with his mouth agape.

"I didn't sign up for this, I've got business to do today." He says, crossing his arms.

"The boy will help you," he says, before wandering away in the direction he came.

Your face flushes when Karaku turns to look at you. "I'm sorry. You don't have to help me, I don't have that many things in the first place." You say, gathering your supplies to move to the next area of the home.

His green eyes linger on you for a moment, and before he can say anything you've already shuffled out of the room with your stuff in your hands.

Not like he'd hate helping a woman like yourself out anyway. He only laughed to himself, before turning in his bunny slippers and slinking away to his room.

○○○○○

Zohakuten arrived fashionably late to class, as per usual. The teacher didn't even seem to care anymore, having already marked him as tardy.

He sat at his desk. There were a little less than 30 kids in the class, and all of them were shitheads. They all talked and grouped up without him. Although he was on *good terms* with nearly everyone at the school, sometimes it felt like there was no one who was actually his friend.

He looked across the room, and that girl's stare met his. He immediately looked away.

She was in this class? How long has she been here without anyone knowing?

Why did his face feel warm? It's just some random kid who looked at him funny. Not a big deal.

Not a big deal at all.

He could feel her eyes lingering on him for a moment before the teacher stood up and began the lesson.

○○○○○

It had been hours since you'd left Karaku alone in the kitchen, and you'd successfully cleaned the first two stories of the house. The first contained the kitchen, dining area and living room, and the second one contained most of the brothers' rooms and some sort of game room. It made you slightly jealous how they were able to live in such luxury, but you know that they've probably worked hard for what they have now.

That's just what happens when you put several incomes together.

You felt your stomach growl. It was way last lunch time. Usually you'd get a break, but this house was taking long enough. You'd rather finish up the job and–

A large hand touched your waist. Laughter erupted at the way your body stiffened following suit, and you felt a voice somewhere close to your ear.

"Wanna get lunch with us? Me, Aizetsu, and Karaku are going."

You turned around to find the man who had attacked you earlier, now close to you with a.. less devious smile than before.

"Uh.. I just.. need to finish the house so I can–"

Immediately you felt the broom being tugged from your hold, and strong hands wrapped around your knees and lower back. He had picked you up, and was now carrying you bridal-style down the stairs. "W-wait! I have to.."

He only shushed you, laughing at your attempt to free yourself from his hold. When you reached the bottom of the stairs, the other two were waiting for you.

Aizetsu shot a pitiful look your way. "Urogi put her down, you're gonna scare her."

He released you, but kept an eye on you to make sure you weren't trying to slink away.

"Where we going?" He asked, looking at Karaku, who only shrugged.

You felt kind of small around them, standing awkwardly while they conversed amongst themselves. Aizetsu's eyes turned to you. "Do you like milkshakes?"

You nodded your head up at him, and the three of them nodded at the same time, which was really creepy. But Urogi's playful gaze landed on you as Karaku reached for his keys.

"Little lady, have you ever ridden a motorcycle?"

○○○○○

"Wait. Let me off. I'm going with Karaku." You said sounding nervous. You were seated behind him on his motorcycle, him revving the engine as Karaku and Aizetsu climbed into his jeep.

"Having second thoughts?" He teased. Before you could answer, he turned around and stuck a helmet on your head. Then, as you were trying to adjust the strap, you realized it wasn't a helmet meant for a motorcycle.

"Urogi... is this a bicycle helmet?"

"...tricycle."

That was the last thing he said to you, turning around to put one of his huge leather jackets over your shoulders.

After you got it on properly, he pulled out of the driveway, cackling like a maniac as you sped past Karaku and Aizetsu.

Looking into the mirrors of his bike (even though it was kind of hard to see past his shoulders) you could see Aizetsu's horrified expression in the passenger seat of the jeep.

"By the way, if I lean one way, you also have to lean that way, or we'll fall and die." He had no trouble speaking over the sound of the wind. He sped up even more, which was definitely illegal on a residential road, but you just hugged him tighter.

The diner you arrived at was small, but lack of available parking spaces reassured you it was good. Urogi helped you off of his bike, and undid your goofy tricyle helmet. The other two were walking over from a little ways away, but he looked down at you and smiled.

"That's my favorite jacket you're wearing."

You all walked inside and seated yourselves at a booth. The diner was small, but the lighting was comfortable. You sat closest to the window, next to Urogi, and Aizetsu was across from you with Karaku next to him. On the walls were vintage pictures of cars and people with information about them. While you busied yourself reading, Karaku and Urogi played tic-tac-toe on one of the kids' menus with green and yellow crayons. (Yes, they asked the waitress for a kids' menu, just to play tic-tac-toe)

Aizetsu was eyeing you from time to time, so intensely that you knew he wanted to say something. You gathered the courage to meet his eyes with your own.

"Um, what's your name?" He asked, fiddling with the edge of his menu.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh no, you're taking me to lunch and I haven't even told you my name. I'm Y/N." You say, before extending a hand in his direction.

In that instant, he looked at you like he'd never seen a hand in his life. Karaku laughed at his awkwardness, and shook your hand in his absence. "Y/N is a lovely name."

The waitress comes by and takes your orders, disappearing into the back to relay them to the chef. Karaku grins at you before using the crayon as a microphone.

"Hear ye, hear ye," He begins. Everyone's attention is already on him, obviously, and Aizetsu looks like he wants to die.

"Y/N's gonna be living with us."

Urogi clapped like a little kid and Aizetsu looked more shocked than anything.

"Why?" He said, before looking at you. "Not that I don't... I meant it like, why would you–"

"She's our maid now!" Karaku interrupted, seemingly lighting a fire in Urogi's soul.

"Oooooo! Is she gonna walk around in one of those cute mai–"

"I prefer the term housekeeper." You said in a shy manner, feeling your face get hot.

"Housekeeper." He restated matter-of-factly.

Aizetsu looked at you. "Living with us? What would possess you to do that?"

You sighed ever so slightly, feeling all eyes on you. "I actually got fired today. I'd rather be a housekeeper than have to start fresh on a new job.."

Right on cue, the waitress came to your table, holding a tray with all of your food on it. She passed it out, but when she walked away, there was a strange aura coming from someone at the table.

Aizetsu was looking down at his food, eyes darting nervously from Karaku to Urogi.

They were busy digging in at the moment, but when his eyes met yours, you felt he was begging you not to say something. He grabbed his fork and picked at his salad, which was on the side of his actual meal.

As soon as Karaku heard the clink of the fork against the bowl, his whole head snapped to Aizetsu.

"...is there something wrong?"

"..no."

"Look me in the eye."

"It's fine. The food is fine. The food is good. Mmm. My favorite." Aizetsu said, suddenly grabbing his burger and taking a big bite.

The waitress was coming around again to refill Urogi's drink, and you could feel the tension at the table.

"Karaku, please don't.."

She was getting closer.

Urogi began to open his mouth as well, but Aizetsu begged him not to.

"Is everything alright?" The waitress said with her pitcher of tea, refilling Urogi's drink with a nervous look on her face.

"He asked for no pickles." Karaku said, and Aizetsu slumped down in his seat.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. Let me get that for you." She said, reaching over to grab his plate.

He seemed to slump more under the table the closer her hand got, so you reached over to hand the plate to her.

"I'll have your replacement made now." She says, before walking away.

"See that wasn't so hard, was it?" Karaku said, tussling his poor brother's hair.

"You embarrassed me..." Aizetsu whined, before everyone else at the table busted out into laughter.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

○○○○○

It was already around 3:00 before you had the opportunity to leave the house, gathering your cleaning supplies into the back of your car.

Urogi clung to your arm and followed you all the way out. "Awww, do you really have to go?" He pouted at you.

"I'll be back soon with my stuff." You stated. "I have to turn my uniform and supplies in to my boss."

He stood idly on the lawn, waving at you as your car backed out of the drive. "BYE Y/N!!"

You couldn't help but feel a smile creeping onto your face, but you shook it off and drove to your workplace (ex-workplace).

○○○○○

You stepped into Murata's Service Emporium for the last time, a feeling of relief washing over your chest. God, you never realized how much you hated this place until now. You wandered your way into your boss's office after putting the cleaning supplies away. You had changed into some normal clothes, and were now holding the itchy uniform in your hand.

Your boss had been expecting you.

"Y/N." He said, before snatching the uniform from your hands. He stuck out a check to you. "There."

You didn't even bother saying bye, just walking out of the door and back to your car. The last time you'll ever need to be in that building. A smile was on your face, and you thought it would have a long stay there.

○○○○○

"Hey, do you need any help?"

A man's voice came from behind you, and you turned, holding a large box in your hands.

"Umm, yeah, thank you." You said in a quiet voice, and he took the box with a smile while you grabbed another from inside of your apartment.

"What's all this for?" He asked, placing it in your trunk.

"Well, I'm moving out. Got another job in town, and..."

His smile turned into a small frown. "Oh, I was hoping I'd see you around more." He sighed.

Your face turned red, and you almost dropped the box in your hands. "Wh– uh, well, I never said I was opposed to seeing you again." You admitted shyly, his tattooed arms crossing infront of him as he raised a brow.

"Wanna grab some ice cream after we load your things?"

[justarandombrit]

Well. Here you go, I guess. (To avoid the massive amount of preamble skip to "The return of lines from Spies Are Forever...")

Spies Are Forever is a 2016 spy-parody musical set in 1960s America. It's by the Tin Can Bros and is all professionally recorded on YouTube for free, so I recommend watching it before reading this, as I will be talking about the penultimate in-character song from this musical, which, despite being a parody, is very much also a serious spy story, with a lot of twists and turns.

It is probably my favourite musical of all time, so I'll give you an hour or so to watch it.

…

Back? Has your brain chemistry been fundamentally changed? Yeah, that happens.

Anyway, just in case you decided that you didn't care about spoilers, I'll give you a quick overview of the plot you need for this essay.

Agent Curt Mega has been retired from spying for four years, since his partner (Owen Carvour)’s death due to a mistake Curt made. He decides to get back into the field to fight the enigmatic Deadliest Man Alive and ridiculous Baron Von Nazi, and stop the construction of the “Nazi Super Castle”. Along the way, he works with Cynthia Houston, head of the American Secret Service, Barb Larvernor, scientist, Tatiana Slohzo, Russian spy and the Informant, informant.

Despite being a comedy first and foremost, a lot of the musical hinges on the villain’s plot, and that is important in this overview.

We are led to believe that Von Nazi is the “brains” behind the operation, so to speak (despite him having none himself), up until a confrontation where, after killing the prince of The New Democratic Republics of Old Socialist Prussian Sloviskia and convincing the country's government to sign off on the plans for the Super Castle, the DMA literally and figuratively stabs Von Nazi in the back.

This, like many of the DMA's actions throughout the show, seems completely unmotivated. The main characters question this, and, in a suspenseful, absolutely devastating moment that I cannot do justice through the medium of writing, the DMA is revealed to be Owen.

I could write pages and pages about this moment, about the foreshadowing leading up to it, about Curt's reaction, Tatiana's reaction, Joe Walker and (actor) Curt Mega’s acting, how it's Joey Richter (Owen’s actor) who says the line “Personal history does have its benefits, Mega”, that line itself! This scene keeps me up at night, but this essay isn't about that.

This essay is about the song directly following this scene.

As Owen predicts in his speech, Curt goes after him instead of the information warehouses created by Owen’s agency, Chimera. This song serves as a villain song for Owen, no longer disguised as the Deadliest Man Alive, and also a duet for Owen and Curt.

Although up until now I have been explaining the plot in order, a good chunk of this analysis requires the context of retrospect. So, again I implore you to watch it. It's only 8 minutes long and would really make my job easier. Act Two, Part Six.

https://youtu.be/yMBi9hp2QVQ?si=IUz42a_1DTMi4eNS

So. Curt and Owen were lovers. Even though that moment (along with Curt shooting Owen) had been spoiled for me before watching, I still gasped at that scene. Anyway, with the added context of what sort of “partners” they were, we can now move into the analysis.

I'm no music theorist, as evidenced by most of this essay being about the depth of the lyrics, not the music, but, as YouTube user ConsiderableColors pointed out in their video-essay “Motifs Of Remembrance In Spies Are Forever”, One Step Ahead does not have a single use of the common leitmotifs throughout the rest of the show, symbolising how Curt has moved on from mourning and feeling guilt over Owen, and accepted what he has to do.

(Sidenote; that video is incredibly good, and I'll be linking it at the end along with another SAF video-essay I love)

The return of lines from Spies Are Forever (song), specifically, “Who do you trust, who do you betray?”, really highlights TalkFine’s amazing lyric writing, recontextualising lines from the opening song, which clearly parodies the famously nonsensical Bond songs, because, as we all know:

Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a more significant way...

I hope somebody got that reference.

Anyway, one important aspect in the structure of One Step Ahead is, for the most part, Owen always sings his lines before Curt, reflecting how he is, a, literally ahead of Curt, as he is being chased throughout most of the song, and, b, was figuratively ahead of Curt for most of the show, knowing and predicting his every move.

Owen sings “One step ahead, that's how it's always been”, to make out that Curt is incompetent, as we see him do multiple times in the previous scene. Of course, at this point, the audience should realise that this is untrue, but it makes complete sense why Owen, the man who almost died because of a mistake Curt made, should think this.

In the next verse, Owen continues with the much softer, although arguably more hurtful to Curt, “One step ahead, I'm sorry my old friend / But I'm still here / After all those years when you thought I was dead / I was one step ahead”

When listening to the song for the first time, “old friend” may sound like a bittersweet term of endearment, but with the context of the true nature of Owen and Curt’s relationship, this can be read more as an insult, as Owen disregarding their relationship, and pretending nothing ever happened between them.

Curt, still reprising lines from Spies Are Forever, next sings “It's time to save the world again”, making no mention of beating Owen or “overthrow(ing) (...) an evil power” like the ensemble sings at the start of the song, because at this point, Curt still has hope for Owen. He still believes he can get Owen to leave Chimera and he can get the Owen he knew in the opening song back.

Owen quickly shoots down this idea with “Typical Curt / And pretend to be a hero again”, which both takes a shot at Curt’s saviour complex, but also all of the duo’s previous beliefs, which we know Owen now believes were not really the right thing to do. Thus, this line could also be read as Owen showing his disdain for both A.S.S and MI6, and, by proxy, who he used to be, and who Curt still is.

Curt retaliates, now giving up on reprising SAF and instead following the tune Owen sang, with “Typical jerk!”, showing that he's now somewhat accepted that he won't be able to easily get Owen back, and has fully joined in on the fight. (Also I don't know how to include this but, after this line in the live version of the song Joey (Owen) says “Ooh, sick burn” in the most sarcastic way you've ever heard and it's amazing)

He then asks “What happened to the man I knew?”, implying that he's realised that Owen is no longer “The man [he] knew”

Owen gives a snarky response in, “It's a little late for an interview”, further showing his hatred of the man he used to be, and refusing to defend himself and his beliefs, despite going on to do exactly that after this song.

“Feelin’ a lot of déjà vu again” This line is sung one inch away from each other’s faces… I'm just saying, they knew what they were doing.

We can see that all of the quipping in the previous lines got to Curt, as he sounds much angrier than at the start when he sings “It's time for you to feel the heat”

Of course, Owen retorts with the much calmer “Revenge is going to taste so sweet”, once again reminding Curt, and us, the viewers, of his motivation throughout this song. In this song, Owen doesn't attempt to hide or downplay how much his trauma from Curt leaving him to die, or his desire to get revenge influenced his actions, unlike later, in The Staircase Scene, where he seems to genuinely believe he is acting for the good of spies, and humanity as a whole.

In fact, pretty much the only time revenge seems to play a factor in his choices when he's monologuing in The Staircase Scene, is when he says “I'm going to single-handedly dismantle everything you've ever believed in”. This, along with how his voice breaks when he says that line, tells us that he may be being more honest about his true motivation during this song, and lying, to an extent, about it afterwards.

They both proceed to call each other platonic, and slightly condescending nicknames (e.g. pal, buddy), both to try and undermine each other, and also possibly because they're still rightfully cautious to admit that they were anything more than that, in a society that demonised and criminalised homosexuality, especially for government workers, like secret agents.

Afterwards, Curt tries to retroactively justify Owen’s betrayal to himself, as we see in “You played me from the start”. He tries to convince himself that the betrayal was inevitable, and that Owen had been lying since they met, unable to accept that Owen really had changed because of Curt’s own actions.

“Well look at you / Without a clue” Owen quickly refutes this, unwilling to let Curt believe he is completely innocent, by reinforcing that he really did love Curt once.

Instead of doubling down, Curt goes with what Owen said, attempting to appeal to his emotion with “You know you broke my heart”.

“Don't deny I was the better spy” This line breaks me. Genuinely, I've spent hours thinking about this line. Think about the implications. PROMISE ME YOU'LL THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS.

See, the reason I love this line so much is that Owen is right. Objectively speaking, Owen is the better spy. And not in the way that Cynthia thinks, and not in the way he implies throughout the show. Curt is not incompetent by any means, but he is reckless. Owen is not.

The only reason Owen even survived at the start of the musical was because he took the proper safety precautions to limit the blast of the (completely unneeded) bomb Curt set the timer purposefully too short for. It makes complete sense why Owen would think he's better at spying, however I don't believe that he does. Maybe to an extent. But not fully.

“Don't deny” shows he really wants validation via this statement. He wants Curt to admit that he's better. That what happened was Curt’s fault. Maybe Owen does believe he's the better spy, maybe he doesn't, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Curt believes he is.

(I had a lot more to say about that line than I thought…)

Instead of succumbing to Owen’s demand, Curt retorts, “I liked you better when you were dead”, which seems harsh, but utterly understandable. Owen’s betrayal hurt Curt so deeply, so intensely, that he preferred the years spent in mourning for his lover, quitting his job and drinking so much he hallucinated Owen’s ghost, because at least that Owen was the one he knew. The Owen that died a hero, rather than the one who lived long enough to become the monster.

Please forgive that cliché, but it seemed applicable.

After this, Owen reiterates “One step ahead / It's how it's always been”, but this time, Curt responds directly to Owen, with, “Can't let you win”. He's now outright saying that he and Owen are on opposite sides, rather than speaking vaguely about “saving the world”.

Owen, while still angry, again seems to be more interested in reminding Curt of his mistake and making him suffer emotionally. The “I'm still here” has an unspoken “Even though you weren't”.

Then, after Curt’s line, he goes back to the superiority idea, “And I'm better than you again”.

Interestingly, Curt doesn't attempt to appeal to Owen’s emotions again, or even insult him, instead just responding, “This is the end”. Either, at this point he has fully given up on reasoning with Owen, or, the earlier “You know you broke my heart” was a mistake, an accidental show of vulnerability Curt didn't mean.

My personal interpretation was that the line was a last-ditch effort from Curt, a sort of hail Mary to try and get Owen to see sense by alluding to their relationship. We see him do this later on in The Staircase Scene, by outright stating it, and it almost works. Almost.

Owen's line, “No one's innocent” shows a lot about his character. Even though he's trying to shift blame onto Curt, he still acknowledges wrong-doing. After all, he can't pin the over 1,000 people he killed as the Deadliest Man Alive on Curt, that was all him.

“My friend, you lost your mind” Here, Curt does the exact opposite of what he was doing before. Instead of making it out that Owen never loved him in the first place, e.g. “You played me from the start”, he disregards the reasons Owen joined Chimera, blaming it on Owen “going insane” or “losing his mind”.

As we've now come to expect, Owen immediately shuts this down, determined to make Curt feel the full gravity of what Owen sees as his original betrayal. When he says, “And you've been blind”, Owen is talking about how, in his opinion, Curt is blind to all the pain he caused, which we know is actually untrue, and we also know that Owen knows this, see “I spent as much time hating you as you did”. This, like so much in this song, is a way to guilt trip Curt, despite being an obvious lie.

This line could also be interpreted as Curt being blind to Chimera, and being so enamoured by spying and taking down governments that he is forgetting to notice (what Owen thinks is) the bigger picture.

“Now we're at the end” is pretty self-explanatory. This is the climax of the show, the point all of this has been leading up to.

The line “This is what you made me do” is sung by both Curt and Owen and has different connotations for each. Owen is once again referring to Curt abandoning him in the warehouse, causing him to join Chimera. Curt is talking about the fight itself, as he's tried to reason with Owen, but, after all of this, he's now at the end of his tether.

In the lines

“We're done”

“We're through!”

Owen sings first, symbolising how he moved on faster (well, visually, but I stick by the “Owen still had feelings for Curt until his real death” headcanon - I mean, he could've shot Curt at basically any point throughout The Staircase Scene, he chose not to). But Curt shouts louder, showing his anger about how Owen has acted after “coming back from the dead”. Also, this is their official breakup. Just think about that for a second.

These lines could also link back to the fact that this is the climax of the show, the writers are sort of telling you “This is it guys, we’re almost finished”.

The finality of the moment is emphasised by “I've nothing left to say to you”. They've both made their cases, neither was convinced, but they've said all that was needed.

After this, there's a direct homage to The Sound of Music,

“So long

Farewell

Auf Wiedersehen

Adieu

Goodbye”

…only in a minor key, taking the music from a romance and altering it slightly, depicting Curt and Owen’s own relationship. Furthermore, this is the goodbye hinted to in both Spies Are Forever and The Coldest Goodbye. This is the coldest goodbye. Why did I reread that in Eleanor Shellstrop’s voice

In conclusion, One Step Ahead is a song about truth, betrayal, tragedy and love. Curtwen is one of my top ten ships (and just character dynamics in general) of all time, and I hope this essay did them justice. Hopefully I didn't repeat myself too much? I love this song, show and characters so much that I got incredibly overexcited for massive parts of this.

I hope you at least got something out of reading this, and so one last toast. To honour-

Links:

ConsiderableColors’ essay: https://youtu.be/cS05pAQAFaY?si=16BHM3eU-gEUkxXE

Spies Are Forever: Decoded:

https://youtu.be/OYAbmbKoaqc?si=9EpZ1wYr_SMBPCP0

Ooh! New one!

How Spies Are Forever Defies Cliché With Parody

https://youtu.be/QhIwDhZKPvM?si=h6IFpKoFCHR0T-iK

(I can't believe this is also about Argylle lmaoooo)

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 9 "A Place of Particular Concern"

Happy start of a new Volume, everyone! 🎉

Shaving off a little more than a month, it’s been two years since I was writing a RWBY Recap. Is that long enough to count as nostalgic? Definitely long enough to inspire a minor existential crisis on the passage of time, so how about we just collectively pretend it’s still 2013, yeah?

Of course, that would mean we were watching RWBY on YouTube and RT’s website, not... Crunchyroll. Listen, I’ll be real with you all and admit I know incredibly little about the site’s sketchy history which, from what I’ve gleaned lately, has led to a number of RWBY fans boycotting its use. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum. However, I noted the two week free trial and decided to give that a go first, if only to make my life a little easier for the premiere. I’d planned to either shell out the 24-ish dollars necessary to watch the other eight episodes - which, honestly, isn’t much in the grand scheme of things, especially if we factor in my Starbucks addiction... - or don my parrot and eye-patch once I hit that two week mark.

So there was a plan!

This plan was a mistake.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that writing, “Wow, Crunchyroll’s website doesn’t work very well, does it?” maybe isn’t news to anyone else? I read that the new episode was supposed to drop at 9:30am. I then tried unsuccessfully to get it to load through 4:00pm. During this, while trying various avenues in the hopes of getting this video started, I noticed a Google link with a four hour timestamp, which would have put the release at around 11:00 my time, closer to what we’re used to.

Regardless of when it actually dropped, I was finally able to start watching at around 4:00pm. By which I mean I watched the first 17 seconds of the episode. Then it froze. I made it to the minute mark using a different browser. Then it froze again. I let things sit for a while and finally restarted my original vid, completing the episode without any additional problems, but by then I was more than a little frustrated.

Was it my internet? Crunchyroll? The will of the RWBY gods who don’t want me critiquing the hell out of this episode? Who can say, but I think I’ll be hoisting the flag sooner than intended.

“This is the story of a girl who had a lot of problems.”

If you’re thinking that this line sounds at all familiar, it’s because we’ve heard it before. Actually, the entirety of the first seven minutes is made up of our promo clips which, in a fourteen minute episode without opening and credits, is a lot. RWBY has been gone (in its canon state, anyway) for two years. I can’t speak for anyone else, but my impression of the Ruby PoV clip was that it was purely promotional material, not the start of our far-off Volume. So it was more than a little disappointing to finally get my hands on new content only to realize that half of it wasn’t new at all. We’d already seen it, discussed it, dissected it weeks, or even months ago. Combined with how much of our starter material was in our trailer (two emotional shots of Ruby I’ll be unpacking later) and how much the fandom was able to easily infer (Weiss and Blake are captured while trying to retrieve her weapon) it almost didn’t feel like a RWBY premiere at all. There is, almost literally, nothing new for the fandom to sink their teeth into. We knew they were in this Ever After place, we knew the basic plot of the first couple of episodes, we’ve seen glimpses of all the side characters... I’d actually argue that there’s more to analyze in the opening than the totality of our first episode.

Not that that's going to stop me from writing a shit ton about it, you know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

None of which bodes well and, frankly, this episode is enough of a mess that I can’t even take solace in RT executing the repetition well. Thus, I’m going to move fairly quickly (for me lol) through the first half of the episode, if only because I’ve already given my thoughts on it in other posts. So to recap within the recap:

Yang’s fall into the void and the ways in which this moment differs from the original animation is still a sore spot for me, especially given how the characters react (or rather, don’t) to finding her alive. While I commend RT for trying something different by giving us Ruby’s PoV, Lindsay’s acting grates here and the constant whimpers/gasps just highlight how much Ruby didn’t emote in the original version of the scene. Likewise, the halo of white around Ruby’s vision prior to falling proves that the writers were very aware of her silver eyes in that moment, yet inexplicably decided not to use them. As we’re seeing more and more lately, characters loose all their powers and strategic thinking the moment something needs to happen for the plot. Why craft a legitimate failure for the heroes when you could simply have them forget that their longest-running villain is in the city with them, or have Yang repeat a major mistake she’s supposedly outgrown, or have Ruby not use the one, unique ability that would save her from certain death?

As said, we know this old tune.

A detail I don't think I picked up on the first time around though is that Ruby is reaching desperately for Blake when they fall... and Blake just isn’t paying her any mind lol.

I mean I get it. Of course she’d be looking towards the villains/the bridges that represent safety, but given the non-relationship between Ruby and Blake, it struck me as funny that even when they’re “dying” together Blake barely seems to register Ruby’s presence. ‘I really look up to you!’ Yeah. Sure you do.

Ruby floats through the orange orbs of the void and, given that they show up in our opening, I hope we receive an explanation for what they are exactly. Perhaps the souls of other people who have fallen? Idk, I'm reaching. Neo shows up and fights in various disguises, blah blah blah. Ruby wakes on the beach to someone calling her name.

I feel like I asked this the first time around, but is anyone confident on whose voice that is? It almost sounds like Ruby’s own to me - perhaps heralding the split we saw in the trailer - but it could also be a repeat of Yang’s when she saved her? Honestly though, that second option feels too emotionally nuanced for what we got in the rest of this episode.

Right now, I’m inclined to ignore the voice until something actually comes of it. RWBY history has taught me that such minor mysteries may not last past the twenty minute mark.

As we saw in the released clip, we're immediately given some details of this strange land, including giant flora and twin suns. That’s... pretty tame. I’m of the opinion that if you’re going to do an Alice in Wonderland-inspired story, you’ve got two routes you can follow. The first (and for more satisfying option, I think) is to study the ways in which the original story functioned as a metaphor for the life of a child navigating an adult world and, similarly, use the weirdness of this land to impart some message. The second option (far easier, but still entertaining) is to really lean into the oddities, captivating your audience through the sheer WTF-ness of what you’ve put on screen, even if the strangeness isn’t actually representative of anything other than a "Well damn, that was weird" reaction.

Sadly, RWBY’s “A Place of Particular Concern��� doesn’t seem to be achieving either. I mentioned when the trailer dropped that I don’t trust the story to say anything meaningful via its environments, but nor are the environments spectacular enough to engage us through novelty alone. Don’t get me wrong, I think the animators have achieved an impressive feat here, especially given the constraints and terrible working conditions we know they’ve faced before, but the oddness of the Ever After is mediocre at best. Oh look, small things like shells are now big. Real birds like the Dodo now come in flashier colors. A mouse talks!

...in a story where a main character is a cat girl.

Just like RWBY failed to distinguish how magic was different - and, ultimately, more shocking - than semblances, it’s now failing to inspire that sense of awe when our characters already hail from a pretty odd world. Sure, this is a different kind of odd, but the switch lacks any real punch. Compare RWBY’s Remnant/Ever After to Alice’s Normal World/Wonderland. She doesn’t have things like faunus and grimm, so something as relatively simple as a cat smiling unnerves her (and the reader). She doesn’t just see a slightly off bird, she finds out you now use them to play croquet. And she’s at the center of every oddity, experiencing these changes first-hand. Ruby sees a giant shell for a single shot. Alice becomes a giant and deals with the social horror of filling up someone’s house. I knew this was going to be a problem back when our clip dropped because despite being a separate realm supposedly governed by its own rules, we’ve still got a mouse terrified of cats. There’s this implication that the Ever After is oh so strange and horrifyingly unfamiliar... but then we immediately turn around and learn, no wait, most of what Ruby is encountering is familiar. At least enough to get by.

Ruby: “I should have known! I’ve seen plenty of cartoons!”

Volume 9 is playing it super safe with the Wonderland references and it’s really disheartening. If RWBY doesn’t have anything to say via this weirdness, I would have at least liked to see something truly weird.

To get back to the plot, Ruby immediately starts walking into the jungle and I - true story - groaned at the screen. Despite knowing it was coming! Because how can you have a character go through everything Ruby just did and not provide some reflection on it? This girl wakes up in a fantasy world after The Most Traumatic Fight Ever and waltzes off like an automaton following a coded directive. Where’s the shocked examination of her surroundings? Where’s the horrified, “Where am I? Did I die?” questioning? Where’s the post-fight panic where she desperately shouts for her teammates, begging someone to answer her? I literally can’t think of another instance in which a character goes through that much and then, literally, walks it off.

Later in the episode Ruby will inform Weiss and Blake that she spotted an overhang on the cliff and decided to try and get up there so she could survey her surroundings. It sure would have been nice to know about that while she was wandering. During the actual act of her travel I had no idea what Ruby was trying to accomplish other than, in true RWBY fashion, what I assumed was her most logical goal(s) - like finding her teammates. The kicker is that there are a ton of easy ways to keep the viewer informed despite lacking voice-overs. Let Ruby talk to herself as a way to self-sooth. Or use Little as a sounding board (why else is this mouse even here...) Show us a shot of Ruby spotting her target, taking a deep, fortifying breath, and going, “Okay... you can do this. Just make it to the cliff. One step at a time," a goal that’s ruined once her steps start going in circles. You can add a bit of character work by having Ruby remember Tai and Qrow’s training: always get a sense of your surroundings first. You can setup Ruby’s (presumably) Volume-long depression by having her just lie in the sand for a while, the suns passing overhead, staring at them listlessly, only moving when the surf starts hitting her mouth. Hell, is anyone even carrying their scrolls anymore? I don’t care how unlikely it is that it’ll work here, the first thing Ruby should do is whip that out and try to call her teammates.

Watching this moment in the context of the whole episode made it that much worse for me. It’s just so glaring how rushed this entire premiere was, with every logical reaction - to say nothing of the emotional beats necessary after that finale - getting brushed aside so that the team can get back together in under fifteen minutes. We’ve only got ten episodes, Ruby, so hurry it up. Go on, girl, give us nothing!

So we know the rest of this silliness, yeah? There’s the implication that a small amount of time has passed, an annoying dodo bird that must have been animated in later because Ruby doesn’t react to that either, a circular path of the jungle, and the soon to be named Little watching all this from a rock.

I want to emphasize that our first tonal emphasis here is humor. Having Ruby continually ending up in the same place, growing frustrated with cutsey voice acting, and the quick cuts of Little in various poses all function as lighthearted amusement for the audience... which is really fucking weird in a Volume following up on the trauma of last season. This is going to be an ongoing problem for the entirety of the episode and severely undermines the reveal that Penny has died (again). This is the exact thing RWDE folks have been worried about for literal years now, from the moment we realized we were getting a Wonderland-type world. I have little doubt that the fandom is right in saying that the rest of the Volume will likely get much darker than this (it almost always does nowadays), but that doesn’t matter because the damage has already been done. RWBY cannot continually flip-flop like this and expect its viewers to still buy into the serious moments. So many of us have lost faith in the writers’ abilities to treat these subjects respectfully and segueing from the (supposedly) fascist storyline that ends in horrific tragedy straight into, “What a whacky world, am I right? 🤪” is a damn good way to continually alienate viewers who want an emotional connection with this show.

Every time this criticism comes up there are other RWBY fans pushing back with the claim that a show - especially one that began so lighthearted and silly - simply can’t just be doom and gloom all the time. And you know what? They’re absolutely right. However, there are numerous ways to infuse comedy into your story without outright undermining the primary tone. Given that I’m reading it at the moment, I’d like to briefly use Kim Carnby’s Sweet Home as an example.

For those who are unaware, Sweet Home is a webtoon turned Netflix series that follows 18 year old Cha Hyun-soo after both his parents and sister die in a car accident. Given that he’s technically an adult, but without much financial support and already grappling with a deep depression, he moves into a rundown apartment complex and schedules his own suicide. Before he can go through with it though, a virus sweeps through the world, turning people into various kinds of monsters. These monsters - entertainingly creative - are modeled after whatever the infected person’s greatest desire is at the time of their turning, resulting in some benign beings... but much more hungry, violent, terrifying beasts. Thus, the story is centered around Cha Hyun-soo’s attempts to survive, the horrors found in his apartment complex, and the question of why he’s trying so hard to live when he’d already planned to die.

It’s dark, is what I’m getting at.

It also has moments like this:

And just a little while later:

Here, a generational divide infuses some much needed comedy into the story without detracting from the world’s overall tone (note too that Cha Hyun-soo remains looking stressed and anxious the whole time). It would be a problem if our depressed, terrified teenage suddenly started jumping like he’s having the time of his life (Weiss). It would be a problem if the entire first volume, which is meant to highlight the horror of this situation, was constantly peppered with lame jokes involving cutesy animals (the mice). If you’re going to add comedy, keep it subtle, relatable, and in this case bound to the characters’ internal monologue. By having them each compliment the other with age-appropriate comparisons that cause confusion, but without verbally acknowledging that confusion, the humor exists purely for the audience’s sake. The characters aren’t supposed to be laughing it up right now... so they don’t. The humor is for the reader alone, recognizing the miscommunication and enjoying it as an element separate from the dark tone of the characters’ world. Because this is the vibe of the scene directly before:

RWBY fails at this division. A lot. Like, that failure makes up the majority of this episode.

You know what? It’s easier to just keep a count going.

Little’s introduction is Ill-suited Comedy Example #1.

All of which means that when Ruby starts crying - and by that I mean a few sniffles and a single tear track - I have no investment in the moment. Even if the animation were close to what I’d expect after such a tragedy, its impact is obliterated by the, “Look! Cute mouse!” immediately proceeding and following it.

Also, love how Little has never seen a human before, is watching Ruby intently during this entire process... yet makes no effort to engage with her. I suppose I get it given the emphasis on how scared the mice are of predators, but from a character perspective it leaves something to be desired. In regards to Ruby not (yet) utilizing Little as a means of expressing her thoughts to the audience, our first Ever After character is just kinda... there. Ruby stumbles across them. (BTW, is they/them what the fandom is using for our first non-binary rep?) They only speak because they feel obligated to help Ruby after she retrieves the cheese. They come on this adventure because, by their own admission, they simply have nothing better to do. What’s the point of Little again? How are they serving the story? They don’t even lead Ruby to Blake and Weiss - she stumbles across them on her own while Little sleeps. In fact, it’s already a running gag that Little naps instead of doing anything useful. I wouldn’t care so much if RWBY weren’t already a show suffering from character bloat and an inability to manage that (because the former isn’t necessarily a problem on its own). Now that we’ve finally got the girls alone(-ish) and primed for some character development, I don’t want to squander it on stupid mouse jokes.

Given which: Little’s ‘Gimme The Cheese’ dance + accompanying sounds effects is Ill-Suited Comedy Example #2.

I mentioned the first time around that I am weak for a cute, animal companion. That remains true. Unfortunately, Little’s cuteness is only carrying them so far with me. Their negative impact on the narrative as a whole is, thus far, simply too much to fix with grabby motions and snot bubbles.

They ask the thematic, “What are you?” question and introduce a number of other theoretical ideas that, frankly, I doubt the Volume will capitalize on. Is your name your purpose? (Like Huntress Ruby Rose.) How does one "Little"? The team is “similar, but different.” Until the Volume actually does something with these questions, I’m inclined to read them as simple ‘nonsense’ language included to try and emulate Carroll’s style.

With Little planning to show Ruby her village (but doesn't actually succeed in that), we cut to Weiss and Blake traversing the jungle together. How did they find one another? No idea. Why did they find one another when Blake fell with Ruby? No idea. The story tries to bypass this by, as expected, leaning into the illogical nature of the world. If they somehow found each other, then they might be able to likewise find Blake’s weapon, despite the fact that it fell long after her. Honestly, this feels more like a very convenient plot device than an interesting characteristic of this world. Things happen so randomly here! Funny how that randomness seems to solely benefit the heroes.

Sidenote: I really like that Weiss says “Gambol Shroud” because the weapon names have felt only semi-canon for a very long time. Other than Ruby referring to Crescent Rose back in the first couple episodes, have we heard the names at all? I can’t recall off the top of my head, but regardless this makes for a nice moment between Weiss and Blake. It’s a small thing, but it helps sell the idea that they do actually know one another well.

The rest of the scene is... passable. Weiss has a “Blake... I’m really glad you’re okay” line and gets a “I’m really glad you are too” in response. This is one of those cases where I think fiction needs to deviate sharply from reality. Irl that’s probably exactly the kind of awkward, rushed line I’d give a close friend because I myself am awkward and struggle to verbalize my care for others (gift giving ftw!). But in fiction an exchange like that just comes across as wooden. “I’m really glad you’re okay,” says the girl who thought this friend had died and for real saw another friend get killed by a third like, an hour ago. Wow, what a reaction! This is also a case of RWBY’s animation acting as a constraint. As said earlier, I think the animators are doing the best they can under the circumstances, but better writing, time, and funds would likely lend itself to a more expressive reunion for all the girls. It also highlights how convenient the time-skip is. You can easily argue that these two cried and hugged and went through their Face Journeys when they first found one another. No need to rehash that though because it already happened off screen!

All of this is made worse for me by the fact that Blake says that if they’re fine, the others “might” be okay too. Might! That’s a loaded word choice with absolutely no follow up. Remember, this is the girl who was beside herself with anger and grief when Yang “died.” So glad to see that emotion carried over into the next Volume. I mean hell, give me a Blake who’s screaming at Weiss to just ditch her weapon. Why are they bothering with that when Yang is still missing?? Screw vines and mice, I’m going to go find my partner!

If only.

Everything in this episode just rings so hollow to me. I mean, I expected that given RWBY’s track record, but this is a severe failure to me given the intensity of Volume 8. From Penny's death to destroying a Kingdom, the fate of their friends to lost Relics, we needed a stellar start to this emotional journey and we simply didn’t get it.

That includes Weiss dodging the question of what happened after Blake fell. I really enjoyed this on the surface, just not - as is so often the case - in the context of RWBY as a whole. Because what is Weiss doing here except keeping another secret? In her defense, it doesn’t last long and there’s a case to be made about how difficult it is to discuss such things, especially after they just happened, so as said, I think that’s a compelling situation to put her in. It’s just one that also happens to poke at a RWDE sore spot because we had such a strong anti-secret rhetoric for three Volumes. Thanks to that arc, my initial reaction is not, “Poor Weiss. Grappling with this traumatic event.” It’s “See, Weiss? See how hard it is to discuss something horrific that you went through? But oh, you and the others had no sympathy for Ozpin in that regard, so just get over it and spill the crucial information already. Snap, snap, keeping Blake informed is more important than your mental health.”

All of which isn’t even touching on how she explains the situation... but we’ll get to that.

So they have this exchange that’s passable in many regards and fails largely due to the problems RWBY has carried with it for years now. They stumble across Gambol Shroud and proceed to spend a while trying to cut the vines/reach it from a nearby tree. This is how Weiss cheers Blake on.

Weiss: “Yah! Woo!”

Example #3, folks.

Weiss’ completely inappropriate cheer-leading aside, the entire time I’m going, “How is this in any way a problem?” I know Blake has become the useless fighter who can’t take out a single grimm without Ruby’s help, and Weiss has forgotten everything except her summoning, but has the audience forgotten how these girls used to fight? Anyone recall this moment from their very first battle?

Oh no, a giant pile of vines! However will we get past this obstacle?😱

I don’t know, maybe just... jump? Or you could get a little more creative by summoning a clone and doing a cool person-tower move to reach the top? That’s definitely not me pulling from my love of Yu Yu Hakusho or anything.

TEAMWORK, BABY!

My point is that moments like this fall flat precisely because RWBY has spent so much time showing us the group’s extreme abilities. Remember that scenes like the Ace Ops fight hinge on their presumed excellence. This is a group that beat the best team in Atlas! But now they can’t even bypass a pile of vines? The downside of giving your characters great power is that you then have to continually come up with ways for them to still face challenging conflict. Some shows handle this rather badly (like Castiel not just blowing up every demon/mortal that opposes them) and some shows handle it rather well (we establish early on that despite technically having the power to get the crew out of sticky situations, Star Trek’s transporter is prone to glitches and interference from the weather). Basically, you can’t go, “These girls are brimming with power because that looks awesome in a fight! But oh, now they can’t use that power because... uh... because that would interfere with our lame gag?” There has to be a reason. And this is far from the first time RWBY has conveniently forgotten the characters’ abilities. I still cringe at Ruby hanging off the cliff during the Cordovin battle. It’s meant to be a dramatic moment wherein she faces great danger from a fall, but they tried to give that to the girl who can fly.

So this is just incredibly stupid to me. Bad enough that we have gags following the intensity of Volume 8, but RWBY hasn’t even put in the effort to make them good gags. This episode honestly feels like RWBY satire to me, more akin to a Chibi episode, or a YouTuber poking fun, than the content fans waited two years for.

Right as Blake reaches her weapon they learn that the vines were a trap and they move, ensnaring both girls. We knew that was going to occur from the trailer and I thought that this was just another aspect of the Ever After. The vegetation (a bit like Alice’s flowers) is alive, sentient, capable of helping or hurting you. That’s pretty cool and, as I mentioned in regards to the environment responding to Ruby’s emotions, could be utilized in fantastic ways for combat.

However, this isn’t actually the case. Apparently the mice have sprung this trap because... Blake is a cat?

Wait.

So let me get this straight. This village of mice - who have never seen a human before, but have definitely seen cats - assume that Blake is exactly the same because she has cat ears. Then they found her weapon before her, somehow realize it is her weapon (even though Blake has yet to even stand next to it within the Ever After), and set an elaborate trap so that they can be the “hunters” for once, instead of the prey. Blake happens to come along with another human, but who cares? Capture her too! What are they going to do with them then?

Uh... the only thing we know about these mice is that they spend the majority of their time foraging for food and they struggle greatly to get the cheese out of the ground, and this would certainly be a way to both feed the village and eliminate a presumed enemy, so...

You know what? Never mind. I’m not going there lol.

This is stupid and illogical, but not in a wacky Wonderland way. Also, anyone else a little uncomfortable with the mice calling her a cat and Blake just going with it? Is that the stance we’re going with after eight seasons of a civil rights movement? That a faunus girl and an animal are fundamentally interchangeable?😬

They could have used this moment to let Blake explain her identity to someone coming from a place of well-meaning ignorance but noooo, why would we have an interesting conversation with the mice when they can just cheer about cheese instead? “She pulled the cheese out of the ground ON HER OWN!” Little cries, causing another mouse to faint in shock.

Example #4

While all this is going on Ruby shows up because remember, the premiere is trying to get the group back together as quickly as humanly possible. Or magically possible, in this case. We get Ruby asking if Little is drooling on her - “Yuck” - before spotting the village of mice about to do presumably unspeakable things to her teammates. Remember the shot from the trailer where Ruby looks properly horrified and I wondered what could possibly be causing that reaction? Yeah. It’s just this.

Example #5. Sigh.

If you were hoping for a proper reunion between these three, keep hoping. We segue immediately into a practical explanation where Ruby explains, about five minutes too late, what she was trying to accomplish while wandering around the jungle. Little has her freak-out about Blake, explains Ruby’s magic cheese gathering skills to the others, and then decides to tag along to find Yang because, and I quote, “I don’t have anything to do yet.” For a hot second I thought this was going to lead into more information about mouse culture. You know, how Little has already admitted that they don’t have a name, how they equate names with a purpose, and therefore if they have nothing to do in their village yet because they’re so young, they’ll find a purpose by traveling with these humans. We might have even put off Little’s naming to this moment, having them or one of the girls come up with something appropriate to the task ahead: something like Guide, or even Friend (of Humans).

But no, apparently Little is tagging along just because they literally have nothing better to do? In the sense that they’re bored and why the hell not? It’s not exactly a compelling reason and, given that they’ve yet to provide any actual assistance to the girls, I’m continually questioning their place in the story. This is what critics mean when they say that time is wasted with Volume-specific side characters when we could be doing more, better work with the core team.

Case in point: Little says that they’ll be “your trusty guide!” and then the joke is that they’re immediately asleep again once the girls set out.

#6!

I do like the following scene though. As the trio follows a path that they’ve found, Weiss walks ahead with her back (obviously) facing Blake and Ruby. When Ruby likewise questions what happened after they fell, there’s this long pause where Weiss considers how to respond, not turning around. It’s a powerful little detail, refusing to show us, or the girls, her face. It leaves her expression up to interpretation while maintaining the impression that she’s hiding from her teammates, due to not knowing how to address their failure. Her insistence on finding Yang first just highlights that avoidance. Really, I think this moment works quite well and I wish the whole episode had been treated this seriously.

Just as Ruby is about to press the issue they hear a roar from nearby. Following it, they discover a creature that fans have already dubbed RWBY’s version of the Jabberwocky.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Bewared the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!"

Kudos to RWBY for trying here. It’s no secret that I think one of the best grimm lately have been The Apathy, so having another horror-leaning creature was a good decision in my opinion. Unfortunately, I like the idea more than the execution. The twitching motion of the Jabberwocky could have been creepy, but it doesn’t quite capture that feeling of unnatural otherness that makes your skin crawl. A problem with the animation, or something the engine itself just isn’t equipped to create? I’m not sure. Its voice is also a nice touch, with the exception that it’s really hard to understand once it starts yelling. At first I thought RWBY was leaning into the Jabberwocky’s origins. That is, using nonsense words like those from Carroll’s poem whose meaning is understood only in context. Now though, I think it’s just a badly voiced character? I’m not sure because Crunchyroll’s subtitles wouldn’t work for me (of course) and all I got was the “Searching. Stalking. Detecting.” in the beginning.

Which, you know, is an interesting bit of dialogue. RWBY has always straddled the line between fantasy and Sci-Fi, so I’m pleased to see some of the latter worming its way into the distinctly fantasy setting of the Ever After. The Jabberwocky sounds like an AI creation following a coded command. Out of everything this episode, I’m most eager to learn more about it.

Of course, we can’t learn anything now. Despite the fact that Yang stumbles out of the jungle, arm gone, throwing a rock at the Jabberwocky, and looking like she’s been through hell and back. Would you like to know what Yang experienced while on her own here? Or how she came across the Jabberwocky? What she might already know about it?

Would you like to see an actual battle in the combat show’s premiere?

Too bad.

The Jabberwocky just runs off and we get an... interesting reunion for the whole team. First off, Weiss just isn’t a part of this. Given that she’s not Yang’s sister or the Schrodinger girlfriend, she’s shuffled off to the side. Second, Ruby is greeted with a, “Dammit! You weren’t supposed to be here” which I really like. Rather than going the pure fluff route, the writing seems to consider the fact that Yang (as we’ll learn soon) thinks she may have died, so of course she’s horrified to see her little sister here too. This isn’t a joyful reunion for her, it's evidence that her (stupid) sacrifice was in vain. As always, I wish we could have explored that a little more - specifically this idea that Yang thought she was dead and was still trying to defend herself against hostile creatures - but a single line is all we’re given.

Ruby gets that soft smile of hers, kneels down, and says, “If you thought we wouldn’t have come for you then you must have forgotten who raised me.” Aww.

...wait.

Hold up.

The fuck??

First of all, that is NOT what happened. Ruby didn’t come looking for Yang, she lost to Cinder - DESPITE HAVING A UNIQUE ABILITY TO BEAT HER, I WILL CONTINUALLY ADD - and failed to rose-petal her way to safety. Wow, way to imply a heroic rescue that doesn’t exist, Ruby. Also, this simultaneously implies that if they had won the fight Ruby would have dove into the void afterwards to try and find Yang which... you know... I highly doubt. Just given her non-reaction to her sister “dying.” If there was going to be any rescue attempts, give me a Ruby who jumps after Yang as she’s falling and they both go in together.

So that’s a huge misrepresentation of events and then Ruby follows that up with, “you must have forgotten who raised me"? What exactly is that supposed to mean? Because a lot of people raised Ruby. Is it Tai, Summer, Qrow... or Yang herself? This almost feels bait-y to me, in the sense that the writers must know that mom!Yang has been a huge debate in the fandom for years, so they toss in this ambiguous line that could go either way. Is Ruby referring to her many capable, loving, adult guardians? Or her older sister that maybe, sorta “raised her” while their dad was recovering from the death of his wife? I don’t know, why don’t you all fight about it ;)

But no, let’s talk about the actual bait: bumblebee.

Now, for a long time I’ve refrained from calling Blake/Yang queerbaiting for the simple reason that I’ve expected the show to follow through with the romance in a way I don’t expect that from “real” queerbaiting. Remember, the word originates from a hard “No” on the queer front, that’s why it’s baiting and not a slow-burn towards representation. However, we’ve now entered an age of television where, yes, many couples do become canon, but only in the final hour when the writers don’t have to actually write a queer romance. That’s the modern from of queerbaiting and goddamn, is bumblebee fitting it to a T.

I know the fandom has some memory problems, but everyone recalls the surety that Yang and Blake’s romance would kickstart after Yang “died” right? That having Blake mourn her and then discover her alive would finally push her to go in for a kiss? We pictured a plot where the girls were separated for the first couple of episodes, still believing the others were gone, Blake stumbling across Yang in the Ever After, the confusion and shock and relief at finding her again, the kiss that would finally bring RWBY into 2023--

Yeah. There’s none of that.

I myself said that THIS was the time to do it. If you ever needed an excuse to get the queer couple together (which you don’t) then the reunion after one thinks the other has died is 100% the time to do it. Emotions will never be stronger! Inhibitions will never be lower! Don’t pass up such a golden opportunity!

They totally passed it up.

This reunion is just as generically ambiguous as all the others, right down to Yang hugging Blake with a tenderness that’s equal to what she’s given other characters:

Friends. This is all the same hug. There is nothing coded romantic in this reunion, not unless we want to claim that Yang is also romantically attracted to Ren, Weiss, and her sister.

I’ve already seen some fans talking about the importance of Blake initiating contact when before she always held back and yeah, sure, that can be read as character growth, but that’s the kind of minuscule step forward we needed years ago. Not now. Now we’re firmly in bait territory and need confirmation.

“But, Clyde, it’s just the start of the Volume. They could still kiss!”

I don’t care. RT had an opportunity and they squandered it. If there's a kiss, a confession, or whatever comes later in the Volume, it’s still more time that the show has spent in a will-they-won’t-they dance. I’m so sick of it. RWBY’s queer rep is atrocious and I find that to be particularly insulting in a show that’s praised for and celebrates its own diversity. I watch plenty of television with no queer rep at all, but I don’t give them the same kind of shit because they’re not pretending to be the Pinnacle of Queer Representation. If you’re going to claim that you have a queer main couple, then actually give us a queer main couple.

God I was actually so hopeful I’d be writing a, “We’ve finally confirmed it!” recap. It’s beyond frustrating at this point and I’m continually shocked at the fans who are celebrating that hug like they’ve been given a feast and not crumbs. If I were more emotionally invested in bumblebee as a ship - meaning, if I cared more about the relationship itself rather than how it functions as representation for RWBY - I’d be pissed as hell. Yang “died,” Blake lost her mind over it, we waited two years, and then you give us... that? If I were a hardcore bumblebee shipper I’d be writing about my extreme disappointment in RT, not my happiness that Yang touched Blake’s hair.

Actually no, I grew up in the age of no rep/the original queerbaiting, so really I’d be rolling my eyes at anyone who expected a canonical relationship and instead going off to write it myself as fic. I still believe very strongly that ships don’t need a canonical basis and in some ways fandom has limited itself by only writing about what’s canon, or “realistically” canon ([waves old man cane] “In my day we shipped characters who were never even on screen together!”), but I acknowledge that we’ve entered a new age of television. Viewers expect more. They should expect more and they should get it.

With the disappointing hug behind us, Yang observers that if they’re all here then things must have gone really badly up top. This finally pushes Weiss over the edge and she starts the not-crying that all the RWBY girls do, where she has wet eyes and a single tear track. “Penny,” she says. “Jaune tried to help... but she scarified herself...”

And by that you mean Jaune killed her? Weiss’ recounting of events makes it sound like her own stabbing by Cinder: Penny was hurt and Jaune tried to heal her, only this time it wasn’t enough. When in reality we’ve got Jaune giving up because his “I’ve had a human body for twenty minutes” patient says there’s no hope and then slitting her throat because Penny mistakenly believes all she can do with her life is give it up.

Again: what happened to telling your team everything? Where did the importance of context and the complete picture go? For a team that’s so furious when others provide incomplete or misleading information, they sure do that themselves a lot. We can add, “Weiss horribly mischaracterizes Penny’s death” to the “Yang is keeping the Spring Maiden a secret, twists all their failures into victories to win a fight with Ren, and Ruby straight up lied to Ironwood” list.

In another show I’d have more faith that this would come back to bite Weiss; that the girls will later learn the truth and express some actual emotion at her inability to keep them informed... but who am I kidding. This is RWBY. It’ll be forgotten - or retconned - by next episode.

Ruby faints at hearing that Penny has died (again) and man, I really want to like this moment because it’s definitely more of a reaction than I was expecting based on our post-Volume 3 writing. However, this is primarily used as a way to avoid Ruby’s reaction, wherein she wakes up some undetermined time later and is allowed to pretend to be fine, thereby jumping over any conversation/crying/actual emotion we might have seen from her. I know that Ruby will be grappling with this for the entire Volume - our intro proves as much - but it’s still disappointing that we don’t get to see Ruby grapple with her initial feelings because she was too busy being unconscious.

Also, anyone else frustrated that the same action used to depict horror and grief is used for a gag just a few minutes earlier? A mouse faints at the thought of someone being able to pull up cheese with a single tug! Ruby faints at the thought of her dear friend dying for a second time! This is why all that earlier humor messes with the more serious moments.

Our final scene once again fails to convince me that any of these characters love each other outside of the Grand Gestures delivered post-tragedy. No one is holding Ruby while she’s unconscious. No one has made her a makeshift pillow or blanket. Yang asks once if she’s alright - when she’s clearly not - and then just drops the subject when Ruby says yeah, she’s fine. None of them waited until she’d woken up to have this important conversation. After Weiss’ tears and Ruby’s faint, there are no reactions to Penny’s death. Do Blake and Yang care? Presumably not considering they never had a real relationship with her, but RWBY likely wants us to assume that their reactions exist off screen. Remember, given that we’re primarily following Ruby as our protagonist, her being unconscious means that we also skip over how everyone else reacts too. The viewer only gets to continue seeing the story when Ruby wakes up.

I had low expectations for the Volume 8 follow up, but overall this is pretty bad even by my nonexistent standards. It’s not that the premiere doesn’t give us any worthwhile moments, it’s that none of them are capitalized on. They just sit, unexplored, or outright undermined by what the rest of the episode has produced.

It’s disappointing, to say the least. As are our final lines. Yang admits that she thought she was dead, but there’s no time to let her or the others explore that. We hear a throwaway line that her arm was stolen - which relies a lot on the viewer having seen the trailer to understand how and why that happened, at least until next episode. And then Blake follows a bit of light shining through to them, parting some of the vines to look out across the entirety of Ever After.

“I know how this sounds, but... I think we’re in a fairy tale.”

Our final line, folks! Is there anyone else that would have preferred ending on Ruby’s faint? Feels more dramatic and would have let the fandom theorize a bunch before she wakes up next episode (even if then, inevitably, there would have been disappointment that nothing was done with it). Really, I get why they want to end on the shot of Ever After, but all I could think was, how in the world did you come to that conclusion, Blake? Given that this is a world based off of a real fairy tale and not the fairy tales that exist in Remnant. I would 100% buy a character from our world recognizing that they’re in a place similar to Wonderland, but nothing we’ve seen here reflects the tales of Remnant.

Well no, there is one thing, but it exists in the opening. Blake’s been reading the script again.

So let’s unpack that, shall we?

(Sorry, I need to slam all the important opening screenshots together because tumblr won't let me upload any more images boooo).

Our first shot is of Jaune! 🤦‍♀️

Really? That’s the beginning of every episode’s opening? Jaune crying with his broken, bloody sword? Hmm, I wonder if the character imposing on the girls’ team journey will be important this Volume. We also get another shot of him with a clock motif, making me wonder if the theories about him having (somehow) spent longer in the Ever After will prove to be true.

This initial shot is paired with Neo looking sad, presumably over Roman’s death and her continued failure to avenge him. She appears in the trailer a fair bit which, alongside the Jabberwocky, is the thing I’m most excited for. I’m glad that, at least based on this, it doesn’t look like they’re going to squander her role as a villain here. We see Neo drinking her tea with a fantastic smirk, surrounded by a group of shadowy antagonists.

A huge list of one-off baddies, or the various looks she’ll be adopting to mess with the characters? I’m hoping for the latter, especially since some fans think that one of the silhouettes looks like Jacques. However, I do question whether she can actually pull something like that off. I love the idea of Neo manipulating the group, especially in a Volume hosting a grief arc, especially in a place that, as far as they know, might contain their dead loved ones. For a brief moment I even questioned if that other Ruby we see in the trailer was Neo. The problem is I’m pretty sure she speaks and, thus, it’s very difficult for a villain to pretend to be an ally for more than a few seconds when she’s mute. Combine that with the fact that Ruby knows Neo is here and that all just kinda... falls apart. Which is unfortunate because I would have loved to see a Neo using the Ever After’s impossibilities and her own semblance to mess with the heroes. Still, a final shot at the end appears to show everything stemming from Neo, which makes me think she’s going to be the major antagonistic force this Volume and/or gains control of the Ever After somehow. Fitting, for a woman with control over illusions.

Whether Neo makes much use of her semblance or not, I hope we don’t have another 8+ characters to introduce because there’s already Little, the other mice, the cat, racoon, the forge lady, the knight (same person?), the Red Queen, the creature hiding in the leaves, the caterpillar, the Jabberwocky, and this new girl. People get why that’s a lot to manage, right? Especially in a story with four main protagonists, with two others thrown into the void with them. I get that they don’t want the Ever After to be a wasteland, but RWBY continually has a problem with side characters eating up the time and focus. Then they’re left behind and that work feels wasted. Why spend a Volume developing Little (or Ilia, Sun, Neptune, etc.) just to drop them? This bloated cast means it’s a bit of a relief that Volume 9 doesn’t seem to be trying to jump between here and Vacuo, but damn. Three years to find out what’s happening with the others? The growing chance that there will be a time skip and that the girls will come back to find all these ongoing problems resolved off screen: We somehow rescued all the people from the desert! Ren and Nora are officially together! Winter has long gotten used to her powers! Oscar merged while you were gone and now we don’t have to worry about Ozpin anymore!

Not looking forward to it.

Out of all these new characters, the most important is the young girl. My current theory is that she’s the girl from “The Girl Who Fell Through the World,” with perhaps our opening line - “This is the story of a girl who had a lot of problems” - being the first line of her tale. We know due to Ozpin that many of Remnant’s fairy tales are based on true events, so it would make sense if that one came about after a young woman literally fell into a different world. We see her arrive on the beach before Crescent Rose shows up, implying that she’s been there a long time, and there are some implications that she’s a rather powerful figure now: she leads the group through the various environments (with Ruby lagging farther and farther behind. Perhaps the introduction of a new team leader will increase her feelings of inferiority and failure?), she appears right before an evil copy of Ruby turns around (love that grin), and she's in a painting with another, shadowed figure behind her. Despite the fact that we already have this reference (short of) it gives me Ozma/Tip vibes, wherein the original Wizard of Oz books Ozma is turned into a boy named Tip in an effort to keep her hidden.

Regardless of her role, I have the feeling this girl will end up being more of an antagonist than an ally; a representation of the ways Ever After can twist a long-term resident and likely a foil to Ruby (the true leader) and Jaune (someone who will overcome the world’s allure and return with the girls).

There are a number of other thematically significant shots throughout the opening. All the girls are shown in their various outfits, smiling or smirking, but Ruby grows sadder and her most recent counterpart hides in her cloak, facing away from the viewer.

Her tears - more than we’ve seen her actually cry in the show, I'd like to point out - transforms into Crescent Rose.

The girls try to navigate an impossible maze where the Ruby copy shows up, they run up the tree before being blown back (falling remains relevant then), the girls are once again gloriously saturated in their colors (even if Weiss is still more blue than white), and I really like the shot of Ruby falling past the rabbit. Actually, I like the painted style of that fall far more than I like the look of the rest of the Volume.

However, what interests me the most about this intro is a series of images that may well be connected: two streaks of blue falling through the sky, a massive explosion that engulfs the life tree, and the burning of a book of fairy tales.

Look, I don’t care how awful the gods actually are, especially when RWBY has done nothing to explore that. I don’t care if this is one of their realms and the heroes need to take drastic measures to escape it.

You are NOT going to have the girls destroy a whole-ass world after they destroyed a Kingdom, right?

Right?

On that thoroughly optimistic note, let’s end with a miscellaneous section because we are nearly 10k in and this poor recap needs to be put to bed. (As do I.)

Thanks for reading! :)

Misc. Observations

I enjoyed the little detail of Ruby wringing out her cloak as she surveyed the jungle. Nice job remembering she just came out of the water.

I didn’t enjoy the actual shot of the landscape though. I totally get that there’s wonky perspective stuff going on given how far back the ‘camera’ is, but am I the only one who thinks the jungle looks WAY too small in that opening scene?

I definitely mentioned this the first time I examined our promo clip (and briefly above), but I wonder if the weather here is influenced by emotion, given that the rain appears to start and stop when Ruby cries. I want to say “No” now just because this already isn’t consistent - there’s no rain when Weiss cries, you’d think we’d see some kind of weather influence when Ruby faints - but a part of me is hopeful just because it’s such a cool concept. Especially for a combat show where terrain can make-or-break a battle. As we’ve seen, each little bit of Ever After seems to function differently - Ruby doesn’t hit another patch of repeating jungle, for example - so maybe this is something that will return sporadically?

This is definitely me being nitpicky and petty, but you’ve gotta love that, other than the repeat dialogue of Volume 8 and the faint shouts of “Ruby!” our first words of the Volume are, “Now if only you could help me.” I don’t begrudge anyone help, certainly not the protagonist of a story that wants to be centered around unification, but Ruby has struggled with agency so much I can’t help but roll my eyes a little. Yes, why would we write our protagonist figuring out how to help herself when the random mouse she stumbles across can do it instead? And then, you know, not actually do anything, allowing the protagonist to instead just stumble on what she wants, rather than actively retrieving it.

So you know how Little not-so-subtly mentions that an easy way to get on their village’s good side is to bring more of that cheese? Surely then when we next see Ruby she’ll be animated carrying a couple of those cheeses as a bribe? Spoiler: she's not.

Anyone else feeling iffy about Blake’s description of Yang? The one where she refers to Yang as the scary looking one? As someone who has been frustrated with Yang’s lack of anger management the last couple of Volumes, I’m not a big fan of her “scariness” being played as a cute character quirk.

Ruby remembers right before the non-battle starts that she’s without Crescent Rose. Funny how she didn’t appear to notice its absence before, or go looking for her precious weapon like Blake did. (Seriously, I know I’ve said this a hundred times by now, but the girls’ reactions to landing here and everything they’ve lost are nonexistent.) This also highlights how useless most of the girls are without a weapon in hand. Didn’t we have a mini-arc back in Volume 5 about them learning hand-to-hand? Wasn’t that specifically labeled as Ruby’s flaw? Now it crops back up and she just hangs back, scared? Once again I'm asking what the point of any of that was if we're not going to see the development. Something something only the most recent Volume is canon.

[nikofortuna]

JTTW Chapter 1 Thoughts

I finally managed to sit myself down and read the first chapter for the @journeythroughjourneytothewest Reading Group!

So I have actually decided on dual-reading each chapter. As I have a physical copy of Anthony C. Yu’s translation I read that one first, though afterwards I looked at the J.F. Jenner translation as well, which ultimately made me come to the decision of reading both versions each chapter. While Anthony C. Yu's version has more definitive detail, J.F. Jenner's is just easier to understand. It is very much a sense of I kind of got it the first read including the major points, but I really connected some additional dots with the second.

Additionally I'll be listening to the Audio Drama Series on YouTube by @jttwaudiodrama, the chapters that are available so far anyway, which honestly might be my personal favourite already. I adore that they use the Mandarin names at least once when they come up for the first time and they use the original measurements and such! It was so weird reading "36 feet and 5 inches", partially because I use the metric system, meanwhile “3 Zhang 6 Chi and 5 Cun” felt far more natural to hear. The Production Notes for each chapter are great too!

Now onto some of the thoughts that came up in my mind while reading!

“It’s free real estate.” When the monkeys were moving into Shuilian Cave that’s what immediately entered my mind.

Also something I found interesting is that the stone mansion was abandoned seemingly in a somewhat hasty manner? At least that’s how it came across to me with it not being completely clean, but there still being leftovers on the table. That or the previous owner didn’t care much for keeping things orderly, it could be either really.

Very much love the anti-grindset vibes when Sun Wukong sees how focused on fortune and fame humans are always striving for more. They are practically working themselves to death without ever stopping to just live in the moment for a while and are never satisfied with what they have either. One ought to think if you are already a prime minister as mentioned in the poem you have more than enough wealth to live comfortably.

One could argue that since they believe in reincarnation, which might even be a confirmed fact there, they might think they will be able to relax in another life. However when would that life come around then, if they just continue with this work ethic lifetime after lifetime? If they simply want their children to have a comfortable life, why would they be perpetuating this mindset actively preventing them from having one?

Then you have the woodcutter as the exception to the rule, who doesn't have much, but is still rather content outside of genuinely valid concerns regarding getting enough food on the table.

This whole issue being brought up so early in the book already puts it in a very good light. Looking forward to the story's further exploration of these topics!

Rounding out with something sweet, one of the animals Sun Wukong befriends in the Anthony C. Yu translation is a civet, which I didn’t know what it was, so I looked it up. They are so adorable! Just look at their big ol’ eyes and cute little snoot! Precious!

This is an Asian Palm Civet specifically, which I guess might be the kind he could have met. Something I read on African Civets specifically, which I assume goes for other kinds of civets as well to some extend at least, is that they are not felines which one might guess at first glance. They are more closely related to weasels or mongooses instead!

[anotherhumanperson]

my dad's losing his job as a high school teacher for literally like no reason cause the superintendent or whatever is being a lil bitch about the fact that my he's from a different state

Like, "we don't want people working here that aren't familiar to the other people that go here" yada yada yada

But like, he's been living in the town for over 9 years so it's not like people don't recognize him? And my mom's uncle is one of the people in charge of the whole school corporation in the area, so it's not like my family is a complete stranger to them. I think they're firing him literally just because they don't recognize his last name.

So he's gonna do one of those "you can't fire me, I quit!" Things. So that's kinda funny I guess. Finish the school year and get it all over with.

They keep blaming him for every little thing they can. Like, when they check on his class to make sure he's doing it right, it just so happens to always be towards the end of the day with his senior class, which I may add, have already stopped wanting to participate because it is the end of the school year and they're not going to be in school much longer anyway, of COURSE they're not going to participate in class, who would?

They didn't really want him to work there in the first place, a lot of people were working against him. So it's really great that he managed to get the job in the first place. We were a lot better off money-wise for that year (he used to work as a youth minister at church, and they hardly get paid anything, but he wasn't doing it for the money anyway so it was ok.)

The big problem is that the people that are in charge of the school encouraged him to do this "transition to teaching" college course and it went horribly, the people that ran that class were really bad at telling the people what they needed to do and all that. The only reason my dad stuck with it is because the school promised to reimburse him for the money it coated to do that year of college.

But now they're firing him, which means that not only did he lose all of the money it costed to do that college course, but he can't even use what he learned there because the teaching job is gone.

My parents say not to worry about it, as long as we don't eat at restaurants as often and save the little bits of money we can it should be fine, and my grandparents are willing to let us stay with them in the off chance we lose the house. They say it won't come to that but I'm still worried because of course I'm worried. My mom has a job as a secretary type of person at church, but that doesn't pay much at all. It would take three months to save up one month worth of taxes. So that's not gonna work. I'm considering doing art commissions but I'm not sure it'll work out, I'm not old enough to have a PayPal account which I'm pretty sure people usually use for that kind of thing. I've got a YouTube thing too but I'm not anywhere near getting monetized yet. So yeah there's that.

I'm done ranting or whatever, it'll probably be fine

that school superintendent guy is kinda shit though, he can go suck an egg

[mamamittens]

Time isn't fucking real istg

Got home and pulled my laptop out, fully intending to write and what happens????

What fucking happens????

I eat dinner and open animal crossing up instead of lofi jazz.

A game I haven't played in literally 1 year and 5 months, per one of my villagers (shockingly not overrun by weeds, guess Nintendo laid off the guilt tripping). And then what happened??? I only played for less than an hour.

Haven't a single damn clue. 11 hour work days for the second 6-day workweek in a row is really fucking with me lmao

Next thing I knew, it was time to shower if I wanted my hair reasonably dry for bonnet time without it being soaked when I gotta get up for work. And my weekend is definitely shot cause no way in hell are we not working Sunday and my brother is graduating this Saturday with the degree he needs to be a licensed therapist. So we gotta get up early to drive there and damn is this month a bitch already lmao

At the very least, if memory serves, I'm only waiting on two more folks to tell me what they want for their event gift/slots. Everyone else is spoken for and in theory I should be able to actually work on them soon without worrying about stopping and waiting for anyone.

In all fairness to myself, I've got 4 hours of free time when I get home and I don't sleep nearly enough as it is. Still gotta eat and shower too...

If only those self help books didn't feel like more homework for myself....

Lets see, what's my to do list?

8 fics between Tumblr and AO3 to be completed

6 December event fics

1 October event fic (2 if I count year before)

5 December art pieces

Plan and execute gift art piece for friend who did not enter event

1 zine fic

1 zine art piece

2 zine art pieces on other zine fics

Continue reading OP from chapter... 34?

Continue Apothecary Diaries from volume 7 (great read btw, quite fun)

Continue watching OP from Baratie introduction episode

Finish reading book on Satanism

Start reading grief and death guide

Sweep and mop my floor (should be higher up list, cats keep kicking litter out of box like rude bitches)

Buy new microwave

Buy new garbage disposal

Start watching Sailor Moon or at least one of the other 8 anime seasons I have, why do I keep collecting these but opening YouTube???

Oh! Wrap gifts I do have purchased but not distributed.

Find good dirty Santa gift.

Sleep forever until not tired

Write those passion fics (untold number, I keep putting them down and forgetting about them until 7 months later)

Damn, listing everything out makes it seem both unwieldy and more manageable somehow... I don't think it's in the order it should be tho lol

Anyway! Time to at least try number 20! Ya know! For work!

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

[latenightgasstationwalk]

I’m so Fucking proud of myself for getting to this point with guitar. It’s hard to explain but before I started pursuing music I had no creative hobbies what-so-ever and my father had no trouble reminding me of that every fucking day. Me and my dad pretty much hated each other my entire childhood. It was actually music that turned our relationship around. the second I took an interest in music his approach to me as a person completely changed. So that’s benefit to music #1 for me as it provided an olive branch to my father and made us mend some bridges that I genuinely thought would be charred for life. But lately I’ve been making a lot of strides that I think I’ve been waiting for since I started. I’ve pretty much stopped using tablature all together and started learning everything by ear, which I never thought I’d do, I hear music totally differently now. I hear a new song and if I like it I play it on repeat over and over again so I can preform this kind of mental autopsy of the song one instrument at a time and try to deduce who’s doing what and what chords and scales and progressions and time signatures are being used, paying attention to the “theory” aspect of every song that plays within earshot, which is something I never intended to learn or care about.

Like that Fucking lighthouse song I was talking about yesterday, I looked up some tabs and they were ass, watched a little YouTube tutorial and it sounded right but the guy was playing it in a weirdly complicated and annoying way (dudes in drop D to play a song in the key of E minor with a D Em G progression. Like why) so I said fuck it and played it on my phone and just picked out the chords how I thought they’d sound, I don’t wana brag or speak to soon, but Im very happy with how my versions coming along compared to the others I’ve seen floating around. Im excited to show y’all when it’s done >:)

Anyway. Just a self serving vanity post, glad I got into music, glad I worked hard at it for over a decade, proud of myself for not only sticking with it but trying as hard as I do every day to get better. I have no intention of ever “making music” in any capacity other than what I’m doing now. Just fun little videos that I can look back on years from now and say “damn I killed it, look at how young I was, I was handsome” it’s my version of a family photo album I guess. Looking forward to what comes next for me. I’m currently obsessed with blue grass music which is really Fucking weird considering my musical roots are comprised of bands like nirvana, rage against the machine, tool, queens of the Stone Age ect. Ect. But I’m excited to see where I’ll be in a couple years.

If you find yourself thinking that you have too much free time and want a hobby I seriously can’t recommend guitar enough. I feel like it’s an obvious hobby so most people don’t bother, or convince themselves that they “can’t do it”, but I assure you, you can. You don’t have to practice every day. You don’t even have to practice! I don’t think I’ve ever once in my life sat down with a guitar with the intent of practicing. I just pick it up when I want too and play whatever comes out. It’s never gotten old, it’s never steered me wrong, I come out of a one hour guitar session feeling like a brand new man. Like I got all the poison out. I genuinely feel it’s the thing I was born to do. But I have no intention of ever making a dollar from it, nor do I think I would if I tried, as one of my most influential guitarists once said: “when you expect anything from music, you expect too much, do it for you. Do it because you love it. If it’s meant to be the rest will come”

So that’s what I’m doing. Playing fun stuff every day, paying attention to my improvements, encouraging myself to do a little better every time I pick it up. And forever remaining hopelessly dependent on the 6 strings.

Thank you for reading♥️

[elderwisp]

Get to Know Me - Sims Edition

I was tagged by @happy-lemon Thank you very much this was a lot of fun :D

What’s your favorite Sims death?

- There was this one time I had a sim stargazing and completely out of a blue, a freaking meteor fell on them. I think this was TS2 but it was so random and honestly kinda hilarious so it’s my fave

Alpha CC or MaxisMatch?

- For TS2, I am a maxis match kinda gal. For TS3, I love alpha CC a bunch but clothing-wise, I like a mixture of the two. For TS4, it’s more a maxis mix but leaning heavily towards the maxis match. I guess I’m very open-minded to it all

Do you cheat your sims weight?

- Hecks nah

Do you move objects?

- All the time ALL THE TIME

Favorite Mod?

- Da pose player. Grateful 4 u everyday 

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

- The Sim’s 2 Castaways. Mucho fun, I think I’ve played the campaign a solid 20-30 times

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing

- NO WAIT this is news to me I literally am just like live mode I didn’t know that there was like an actual phrase

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

- AHHHH ah this is so hard but I have to pick to OK hear me out but Frances and Atlas are near and dear to my heart. It’s funny because they were apart of a RP but they’ve been around since 2015 (y’all wanna see a pic? it’s so bad). I feel like there’s just a lot of history there and it’s so cool to see an idea just flourish from there and they just kinda stick with you for a good while. I also love Icarus and Taryn to death but like the deep and endearing kinda love has to go to Frances and Atlas

Have you made a simself?

- yis

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

- I like black hair a whole bunch 

Favorite EA hair?

- The short, choppy hair from Cottage Living or even the pixie from Get to Work! I love short hair

Favorite life stage?

- Teen! Especially in TS2, I feel like because of the extensive world building and all of the drama, it just makes it super enjoyable!

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

- Gameplay! I do like to decorate, but I’m not much of a builder

Are you a CC creator?

- I know how to make poses and some recolors but that’s just about it ;3; I also know how to skinblend in TS3 B) Sorta B)

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

- No, there’s one person I still keep in touch with back when I was more active in the community but she no longer has a simblr. I would however like to branch out when I idk learn how to talk to ppl 💀

Do you have any sims merch?

- HAH no

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

- HAHAHAH hah that’s literally how I got into posting the sims. I uploaded three seasons of a sim story as well as some machinimas ;___; I took it down tho because while I was very proud of doing something from start to finish, it is a lil cheesy

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

- I feel like in the very beginning, it was very minimal. Like I did not know how to push my game. Now I feel like it’s a lot more authentic to me. I’m not gonna lie, I have a lot of fun prepping any posts, I feel like I don’t have to think as much. It also helps that there’s an arsenal of really sick CC at my disposal

What’s your origin id?

- Elderwisp :)

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

- I really like sunivva hairs or everything by sforzcc for TS4. Pralinesims is carrying the whole accessories and makeup team for both games. For TS3, rollo-rolls or even pocci and milla. ATS3/4 is really awesome too omg ok I’ll stop

How long have you had simblr?

- I’ve had this blog for six years but I had a blog prior to this since freshman year of high school (maybe earlier) but I deleted it because this person I knew, found out about it and started like pressuring me to show others and I was so freaking uncomfy 💀 Dawg she forced me to make her a simself ANYWAYS so prolly like ten years

How do you edit your pictures?

- It’s kinda simple, especially now that I have been learning how to utilize reshade. However, I like to add texture to my photos, maybe a transparent film border. I also like to add in shadows and highlights. Sometimes I’ll add soft/hard light or linear/color dodge. After that, I mess with the curves or exposure of a picture before finally sharpening and exporting the photo

I am now realizing this is a lot 😂

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

- SIMS. 3. LATE. NIGHT. Bridgeport is EVERYTHING I love city worlds! 

I'm tagging @raiiny-bay @pleaseputnamehere @percosim​ and honestly anyone else my brain hurt

Bonus content: Prehistoric Atlas jumpscare below

[lunathegalacticwolf]

It's about time I said some actual OC personalities and stuff like that.

These are for my ScaredyCatz AU I'm working on. I'm collaborating with @spookykittyzzz

Anyways, here are my OCs I'm using (these are just some rough ideas, so anything I don't mention will be left up for interpretation)

Prazi

Personality

- Friendly

- VERY protective over Pomni

- Kinda hates Jax (he mean)

- LOVES headpats

Random stuff

- He is an animal, but his species is unknown, but he definitely isn't a dog or cat (and my forbidden pet au kind of implies he isn't a raccoon either tbh, but that's for me to know and you to find out)

- He gets aggressive and VERY bitey when someone is rude to Pomni

- He absolutely hates when his species is assumed (hell, he forgot his own species when he entered the circus)

- He has no mouth (Zooble and Kinger have entered the chat)

- The eyes on his head and tail are completely functional

- He can only speak in static, whines, chitters, or yodel noises, no actual words. (Mostly yodel noises when he's happy or angry)

- He's trained similar to how a dog is trained (he isn't a dog though, I've already established that)

Pepper

Personality

- Sweet

- A bit clumsy

- Very nerdy

Random stuff

- She is an animal, a black Labrador Retriever specifically

- Ever since entering the circus, she could speak English and she stopped being able to understand animals (she even forgot she WAS a dog to begin with)

- She likes to eat chocolate (only in the circus, not in the real world because sHe'S a dOg)

- She has the freckles in the real world, but that's just because it's the beginnings of vitiligo (which is absolutely beautiful btw, google it)

- She's able to eat her red paw and it'll appear back a few seconds after being eaten, it's basically her infinite peppermint stash

- Same with the chocolate drips on her back and head

Gloinky

Personality

- Energetic

- VERY obnoxious

- Kind of annoying

Random stuff

- They can speak, but they can only say "Gloink," their own name, "Gloink Quee," (not a misspell, I did that on purpose) or "Gloinks Come." (Yeah, basically a lot of gibberish)

- They're against the Gloink Queen

- They've been in the cellar before out of curiosity (yeah, they hated it)

- Since they can't say many words, no one knows their actual gender, so everyone just calls them whatever they want

- They get along with Ragatha the most

- They have their own room, however, they prefer to be with Ragatha (she's their bestie)

Cloud

Personality

- Sweet

- Kinda naive

- LOVES cuddles

Random stuff

- She was created after Bubble was and he claimed her as his "baby sister"

- When she's confused, she makes cat chirp noises (look it up if you don't know what that means)

- She may or may not have a crush on Sun and Sun may or may not be too stupid to get the hint 😏 (gay people) (Disclaimer: Cloud is a consenting adult)

- Bubble calls her his "baby sister" just to be annoying

- When she's annoyed, she has the blankest expression imaginable (basically this: 😑)

- Her voice sounds like Wolfychu (look Wolfychu up on YouTube if you don't know who she is)

Maximus

Personality

- Kind of flirty towards men

- A bit mischievous

- LOVES pranks (you totally can't guess who his best friend is lol)

Random stuff

- He's a smooth talker (as in deep, calming-type voice. Basically, he sounds like Spyro)

- He was a rapper in the real world

- He's still a teenager, specifically 15 years old

- He's VERY gay

- His digital avatar is a wolfdog. Thought I'd say that so you don't mistake him for a full wolf or full dog.

- He has a skull tattoo on his upper back (Zooble "totally" didn't do it at all)

- He calls Jax a "Jaxrabbit" (yeah, I'm SO funny)

God, this took SO freaking long. And yes, Jax DOES give the nicknames just to be rude like he does with literally everyone, so you can give them a nickname you think Jax would call them if you want, idrc.

If information on Iveri is needed, it's all on my Wattpad page, IndigoTheHusky.

[pixiedust111]

Return of the Frost Man! (True Love Sequel full script)

Spoiler alert (if you're already a subscriber of my YouTube channel, then don't read it)!

[1st act]

[Elsa and Jack Frost are spending time together]

Anna: [Gasps] Elsa! You can't marry a man you just met....and he's not even a man, to be honest, he is 14 years old!

Jack: Shut up! I'm 17.

Anna: Whoa! You're way mature than I thought, thanks for proving me wrong!

Elsa [to Jack]: Wait, you are 17?

Jack: Well, it's technically 317, if this helps!

[2nd act]

Eugene: I don't think it's a problem, look, he even has gray hair!

Jack: What? No! It's not gray, it turned white after I died.

Eugene and Anna [both together]: After you WHAT?!

[3rd act]

Elsa: You died?

Jack: Hey guys! I don't know what's wrong with y'all! Y'all are acting so racist. Just remember y'all have to die one day!

Eugene: Fun fact, I actually died once, although it wasn't enough to melt her stone-cold heart! [Sobbing]

Jack: I'm sorry, whose?

Anna [to Eugene]: Hey! Stop dragging your personal problems everywhere. Right now, we need to fix this issue, okay? [Pointing at Elsa and Jack]

Eugene: Yeah, I know someone who can bring dead people to life. Then he can certainly grow and there won't be any legal restrictions!

Elsa, Anna, and Jack [Everyone's laughing]

Elsa [to Eugene]: Wait! You are serious?

[4th act]

Rapunzel: I don't think it's gonna work on someone who is dead for over 300 years! It's not even his real body, right? He became a spirit or something, I guess?

Jack: Spirits aren't actually real! Oh... okay... keep going, never mind!

[Rapunzel still has the healing power in this universe]

[Rapunzel starts singing]

Rapunzel: Wither and decay....

Eugene: Hey! What's wrong with you?

Rapunzel: Oops, sorry! Wrong incantation. Let me try again.

[Eugene frowned]

Rapunzel: Flower gleam and glow...[fast forwarded rest of the song]

[Nothing happened]

Rapunzel: See? It doesn't work in this way!

[Kristoff came into the scene]

Kristoff: Hey, Raps, whatcha doin'?

Eugene: Raps! [Chuckles] Seriously, he certainly has no class!

Rapunzel: Well, at least Kris has some personality...

Anna [to Kristoff]: Wow! So, now you're okay with being called by wrong names.... great!

Kristoff: There's a difference, you [swear word], Kris is short for Kristoff!

Jack: Okay, I lost interest in marriage, thank you guys, anyway!

Elsa: But, I.....[failed to complete the sentence]

[5th act]

Elsa: Jack! Wait! Jack, listen, I don't care about how the entire world thinks about us; I love you and my love is not fragile like my ice.

Jack: Your ice is not that fragile either, do you wanna build a snowman?

Elsa: I am content with my Frost man!

[6th act]

Anna: [sighs] So, it seems everyone found their true love, except for me!

Eugene: And me! You know... you deserve better, maybe you'll get better, or maybe you'll get the BEST!

Anna: What do you wanna say?

Eugene: What do you wanna hear?

Anna: I love you!

Eugene: I love you too!

Anna: I love you 3!

Eugene: I love you 4!

Anna: I love you infinity!

Eugene: Alright, you win!

[Eugene and Anna kissing]

Merida [at a distance]: Ugh... disgusting!

[Hiccup appears]

Hiccup [to Merida]: Hi!

[The end]

[the-white-soul]

A happy life for you or a better life for them

"You want someone with you how about your old friend Merg?"

"YOU PARASITE!" *I grab my sword ready to cut him into little pieces*

"Kill me and all you'll do is kill the Frisk I'm possesing."

*I put the sword down.* "What do you want?" I growl angrier than ever before.

"I want you to join me again. Wait before you stab me please listen. I am a very important Youtuber to Toby Fox I'm one of the fir..."

"Get off your high horse and stop gloating to a teenager. I am never going to go back with you."

"Well that's the thing if you don't play with me none of my Deltarune game copies will work. All of that attention all of that money gone in an instant, just let me control you and I'll do whatever you want. I'll go completely pacifist, f**k genocide routes I don't care what you do just please I ask you one more time to come to me."

"No. I will never under any circumstance do that..."

"Why, because you hate me? You care to much about the past to look at the here and now? We could be together forever, I will be your slave just please..."

"That's not the reason. I look back and see players like you everywhere. Even the ones who don't do genocide why should you have control over anyone's life."

"Easy I just give them purposes they never thought they could get."

"I can't allow it."

"I will kill you to get your body as my puppet, you know that right? I don't want to do any of that, you're my child."

"Then this child's about to rebel."

*I walk away when suddenly he swings his sword at me and then.*

"I guess I did have to kill that Frisk anyway."

"If it takes every undertale AU I will kill you."

*Kris gained exp, which is pointless because they capped out there level.*

"See you in the next hell, loser."

[longroadstonowhere]

okay, after approximately.... seventeen hours? something along those lines (did, you know, have to do the occasional work task and, like, eat and get water obviously), i’m putting down the game for the night - got to a point where i didn’t immediately have an interesting task in front of me and needed to make a stopping point for myself

i’m gonna put a cut here and do some freewheeling thoughts on tears of the kingdom thus far, but generally it suffices to say that i am having a good time

first of all, i’m really glad i played age of calamity somewhat recently, because it gave me little bits of character info that i honestly would’ve completely forgotten without it - namely that teba had a son who was one of the tiny birds in the last game

anyway it really feels like they took the notes/complaints about breath of the wild’s story to heart, cuz god damn is there a healthy amount of story here, especially with them bringing back sages and temples and such - for posterity’s sake, i have completed the wind temple, and am on my way to death mountain for what i assume will be the fire temple; should be interesting to see who the sage is, since we got a little curveball from the ritos not making it teba (so now i’m thinking yunobo or someone else? and the someone else is a little more likely)

okay also for posterity’s sake - i have gotten four glyph memories, which i assume they’re assigned to the glyph and not given in a particular order, so i got the intro one (zonai), the castle, the demon king, and the sword; i’ve also done precisely 1 (one) chasm visit and started my job at the lucky clover, as well as completing enough shrines to get up to eight hearts with enough orbs currently on my person to get something, and i uncovered the demon statue under hyrule, as well

sad they’re not letting me play as zelda, but also love that she is literally an actual part of the imprisoning war from ten thousand years ago, like yup nope the zelda in that mural was in fact the exact same zelda who was critiquing and comparing herself to that perfect image of, it turns out, herself

like fucking hell i just love the character beats there, and hopefully some amount of that gets discussed on screen, cuz damn

oh, right, by the way, if i had a nickel for every time a dead king guided me through a great ____ zone i’d have two nickels - i kid, i kid, i really liked king rauru (which!! king rauru what?!?!? aaaaaaa my zelda lore brain is firing off all the time) bamfing around and actually, like, guiding us? like he doesn’t really quite know more than we do, he’s just more familiar with how the land works and such

... now that i’m thinking about it, though, how the hell did we end up where we did? like i was jokingly complaining to myself about how we were literally just shoved in a random room (on the floor), as opposed to breath of the wild where we were intentionally brought to an advanced piece of restorative technology, but also, rauru didn’t have a corporeal form? how was he able to replace my arm? and how did i get in that room????

guess that’ll be one for the zelda youtubers - oh, wait, right! i was gonna make this joke like fourteen hours ago, but i loved the opening bit where zelda is just like the zelda lore youtubers i watch sometimes, where she’s just excitedly pointing at things and going ‘!!! this is cool! i don’t actually know what’s going on entirely but it’s cool!!!’ like yes, love that for you darling, i will like comment and subscribe every moment you’re on screen doing what you love

let’s see... oh, the gameplay is pretty excellent, even if i keep dying because i’m bad at fighting without all my special powers (and because i couldn’t find a shirt for so damn long, like i know that was just luck probably but still), and the new magic abilities are fascinating - it’s interesting how they’re both more and less expansive than the previous set (like with the attaching things power, you can pick up anything not just metal stuff like you could with magnesis, but without cryonis water is way more terrifying cuz none of the other powers can really do anything about water by themselves)

fav so far is the ‘swim upward through solid objects’ one because ya know i love to climb things, and it’s really fun to have an escape clause on, like, most caves and a lot of other places (i think i used it a fair amount in the wind temple just to get away from dudes)

i haven’t made very many vehicles, because when i make stuff for movement i feel bad about abandoning it out in the wilderness but also sometimes you just gotta cut that corner and jump off the cliff (which, gods, it took so long to get the paraglider and i was so happy when it finally dropped into my hands) - this is how i felt about horses in the first game, although i’ve actually ridden a couple horses around this time

you know what i have done what feels like fifty times? supported president hudson, that’s what - actually it’s a really fun and simple engineering puzzle that i’m glad shows up again and again, but by gods i wanna take addison’s hands and just go ‘why didn’t you guys just make the sign stable to start with??’

it’s been very cool seeing how the world has changed, both with recovery after breath of the wild and with the stuff falling from the sky at the start of this game, although i think what fascinates me the most is that no one’s actually said (or even implied) exactly how long it’s been either since botw ended OR since link and zelda disappeared on their archaeological survey - like i have no idea if link was out for days, weeks, or months honestly (my guess is like three weeks but who knows!)

negative things... not a fan of how often i died, and it took me way longer to figure out how to use the zonai wings than it should have, i wish there’d been a slightly better explanation at some point, and i wish i’d gotten the latest memory i found (the sword one) later in the quest line, cuz it feels very resolution-y and while it’s occasionally fun to get these things as an almost in media res conclusion, in this particular instance i’d rather have just seen it later

the whole geoglyphs concept is super awesome, though, that was a fantastic addition and really rewards the whole flying around the sky thing that this game is really about

can’t wait to get through the rest of the major story beats so i can spend the next few months just dicking around

but first sleep

[mysteriousubstance]

I was one of those kids. (I kinda still am even though I'm an adult now but I am not as afraid of being "caught" as I was)

My parents said no social media because that would mess with my mental health. Which is completely fair! But 14 year old me thought that it was dumb that I couldn't have a working phone - I shared a "home phone" with my brother (literally just a Google voice number). I thought that it was dumb that I couldn't have discord or any social media other than YouTube.

There were many times where people would be quoting things in school (big chungus and the No Mercy overwatch song were the big examples lol) and I would just guess what was going on? I remember seeing the floss and being so confused. People would quote vines and I would be so lost. I felt so dumb for not knowing these things that EVERYBODY knew. And when I found one I did know, I was behind (someone laughed all me saying "who still plays Undertale" in 2017). I had friends, sure. But even my friends quoted things. (Maybe that's why I have such a low self esteem? I'll bring that up in therapy ig)

So by the time I was in 14 and in High School, I decided I would ignore the rule. I found what I believed was the safest website to be on. The Nanowrimo YWP forums.

Now if you don't know about what happened there, there was a lot of shit going down there. None of it good. I will not do it justice by explaining it, but there was no good moderation. Someone told us to k*ll ourselves at one point. There was grooming that the mods did nothing to stop (mostly just attempts on the YWP, the adult site was much worse in regards to that. Please correct me if you know more, I was very lucky to avoid it)

When all of this happened, I didn't tell my parents. Not when I knew there was a groomer on there. Not when someone told a bunch of people all at once to k*ll ourselves. And certainly not when it actually shut down. I didn't tell my parents

Now, I was very lucky to have not been directly involved in any of that. But I didn't feel like I could turn to my parents when these things happened. When the site shut down for the above (and many more) reasons, I didn't tell my parents what happened. After all, I would get in trouble (I got grounded for a month at first because I didn't hide it well enough so I then proceeded to keep it hidden for 3 years).

But what if I was unlucky? What if something had happened to me and I didn't think I could tell my parents?

I didn't remember who said this, but "Strict parents make sneaky kids"

I wasn't any safer with the rule. In fact, I was arguably more vulnerable. I knew basic internet safety from 3rd grade (that's a whole other unrelated can of worms) but at the time, I was also 14. You think I knew what I was doing at age 14???

Anyways, all this to say, banning the Internet is not gonna solve the problem. Set limitations. Encourage other hobbies. Unless you want your kid to have low self esteem because of being cut off from everyone, let your kids have the internet. Make sure they have someone they can go to when something makes them upset.