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deep-sea-scholar · 2 years

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Okay I need to rant about Glass Onion for several paragraphs

WARNING: SPOILERS!

Glass onion is phenomenal, and I personally enjoyed its themes more than the first Knives Out movie.

Now don’t get me wrong, Knives Out is arguably the better film, but its strengths lie in the complexity and brilliant execution of its core mystery. It’s a fantastic self-contained story about a shitty rich family and the people they directly affect. The members of the family range across the political spectrum and all express different ideologies, but the moment a migrant working-class woman has a legitimized shot at their inheritance they band together to prevent her from improving her life. It's interesting commentary on how wealthy people can talk a big game about helping others and being good people, but ultimately fall morally short when such actions threaten what they feel they “rightfully deserve.” But that's arguably the limitation of the film as its focus is entirely on the interpersonal conflict between the Thrombey family and Marta.

Glass onion isn’t limited by that.

The entire thematic core of Glass Onion concerns the damage that the rich and powerful can do to the world if they aren’t supervised, criticized, or limited.

Aside from our lovely detective Benoit Blanc, the murdered Andi Brand, and her twin sister Helen, all of the characters are shitty people that are damaging the world in a uniquely horrible way as a direct consequence of the unchecked power and wealth they wield.

To start we have Governor Claire Dubella. Her success in her political career has relied almost entirely on monetary support and influence from the films big bad and Elon Musk/Jeff Bezos analogue Miles Bron. Her platform has good objectives, and she’s passionate about hard topics like climate change, but her ability to act is entirely limited by the influence Miles has on her. If Miles wants her to do something, she feels like she has no choice but to, which results in her greenlighting an experimental powerplant that Miles wants built to advocate for his new fuel source. It’s untested technology, it’s volatile and dangerous as fuck, and Claire feels like she has no choice but to go along with it because if she doesn’t Miles will withdraw support from her career, or worse, support her opponents. She likens it to selling her soul, and it really is. She willingly undermined the health of her constituents for the sake of saving her career, and the shitty part is that Miles only controls her because she lets him. She could deny the power plant, or leave Miles, at any time, but she doesn’t because she perceives the personal risk as to great. She is a politician that won’t stand up for the people she represents, and no one calls her out on it.

Next, we have Duke Cody, the Alpha male men’s rights streamer who is just like, the absolute worst person in this film. His views and opinions are incredibly toxic, his actions and beliefs directly hurt the people he influences through the hurtful products he promotes, and thanks to Mile's wealth and influence both he and his terrible, terrible, terrible opinions have official backing and some form of legitimacy. He’s almost the direct inverse of Claire, being someone who really shouldn’t have support, but is getting it anyway because he’s Mile’s friend. And because Miles doesn’t care and is giving Duke support and helping him dodge legal trouble, he enables Dukes terrible opinions and lets them influence and hurt people.

Then we have Birdie, my personal favorite of the disruptors. She is a fashion designer, media star, and breathtakingly, beautifully, stupid. She’s not actively malicious like some of the other characters, but she is just so fundamentally incapable of thinking things through. When paired with her wealth and influence, this results in horrifying real-world consequences. She has her iconic fashion line of sweatpants made at the most infamous sweatshop in Bangladesh not because she doesn’t care, but because she thought a sweatshop is just a shop where you make sweatpants. She’s just very stupid, but at the very least has the decency to be aware of it. She even decides to own up to her Bangladesh mistake of her own volition, independent of the plot. The problem is that no one corrected for her, or guided her, or worked to influence her decisions. Miles just cared about what her brands could do for him and was perfectly willing to throw her under the bus to preserve his image.

Last of the four Disruptors is Lionel Toussaint. Not much to say about him actually, he’s fairly straightforward. He works directly under Miles as a scientist and is a parallel for the people that want to have confidence in tech ‘pioneers’ like Elon Musk. After all they’ve been successful, and things have worked out in the past, surely, we can give them leeway with new technology development. But there’s a reason why technology is prototyped and tested, and that’s because things always go wrong, and you need to take time and care to figure out how to ensure new technology is safe.

Which leads us to this asshole.

Miles goddamn Mona Lisa Burning Bron.

The absolute, motherfucking, shithead moron directly responsible for everything bad that happens in this film.

I lied about Duke Cody because this absolute buffoon is the actually the worst person in this film.

He manipulates politicians into endangering their constituents for his own gain, he enables the absolute worst and most toxic people by giving them legitimate platforms, he promotes influencers without caring for what their unchecked actions result in, and he deludes the people that work for him and want to believe in him with self-assured delusion. This man is arrogant, an indiscribable moron (worse than Birdie because at least she acknowledges her failings), dangerously delusional, obsessed with control, and most damning of all, unchecked.

Miles Bron is a direct look at how too much unchecked power, wealth, and influence results in unmitigated disasters. He doesn’t care about helping people, because he doesn’t take the time to make sure untested technology is safe for the public, handwaving legitimate concerns with denial and false assurance. He doesn’t care about his friends, because he murders two of them the instant, they become a threat to his control. He’s not smart, because all of his genius is the result of other people, he’s just skilled at advertising it as his own to get the credit. All he cares about is doing what he wants and being in control, because his opinion and self-worth and legacy is more precious to him than any other thing in the world. The man is a lie so absolute, so convoluted, and so stupidly straightforward that the slightest piece of truth will bring the facade of his existence crumbling down. And it’s hard to acknowledge something like that in the real world because someone that successful being that malicious and dumb sounds incredibly stupid. It’s an easy lie to buy because it’s more believable than how stupid the truth is.

Anyway, ultimately my conclusion is that we see a strikingly accurate portrayal of Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk in this film, and it was very cathartic seeing their hopes, ambitions, and house burn down around them. Because billionaires like them are shithead morons that lie to and manipulate everyone, and their arrogant and harmful self-delusions compound through the people they manage to influence.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

#knives out #glass onion #benoit blanc #film #mystery film #movie review #elon musk #jeff bezos #Need a hard kick in the nuts #literary analysis #movies #netflix #eat the fucking rich #can't believe a murder mystery radicalized me #rambling

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desertfangs · 8 months

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Through the Garden Gate [AO3] Lestat/Daniel - Explicit - 4,459

Not long after Tale of the Body Thief, Lestat and Daniel talk about Lestat's body swap and how Daniel worries his relationship with Armand is falling apart.

I wrote this in kind of a flash of inspiration but I figured I might as well post it now, since I'll be posting a lot of stuff in February for fandom events and don't know when I'll get around to it otherwise.

I really just love Lestat and Daniel having deep conversations and I think Daniel tends to ask the best questions. They are my BROTP with benefits and I know some of y'all love them as much as I do, so I hope you like this!

Brief excerpt:

“Is it true that you swapped bodies with a mortal?” Daniel had been burning to ask about it since Lestat first jumped him in Pirate Alley, and the question tumbled out almost immediately after they sat at the small bar table.

A storm of emotion passed over Lestat’s face. “I did.”

Daniel leaned closer, across the small bar table between them. “What was it like?”

“What do you think? Incredible. Messy. Uncomfortable. Amazing.” Lestat shook his head. “Impossibly strange. But it had been hundreds of years since I’d known mortal urges, mortal discomfort.”

“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Daniel laughed slightly. Mortal discomfort—aches and pains and hangovers and head colds—had been the bane of his existence during his last mortal years. He’d been in his early thirties and yet already his body had changed so much. Sleeping at the wrong angle could ruin him for days.

“Not entirely. There were good things.” Lestat smiled, but it didn’t reach his blue gray eyes, which were trained on his martini glass full of blue curaçao and vodka. “The taste of wine. The sun.”

Daniel reached across the table and touched Lestat’s hand, which was a rich, tan color, like the rest of his skin. “And how did this happen?”

Lestat sighed. “I had a moment of weakness and went into the Gobi desert. It’s not important now.”

Daniel snorted. “Yeah, clearly. Are you okay?”

Lestat waved a hand and then his magnificent, winning smile returned. “How did you hear about my last misadventure anyway? I’m still working on the book.”

Daniel sat back against the booth and tapped his fingers on the table, keenly aware of the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. “Louis wrote a very concerned letter about the whole affair.”

Lestat frowned. “To you?”

Daniel flushed. “To Armand. Sent to Night Island. I stopped by to check on the house and I opened the mail.” He hadn’t thought much of it at the time—he and Armand often treated each other’s things as if they were their own, which was perhaps a bad habit, but it had always worked for them. Once he’d read it, he’d felt a bit like he’d overstepped, and he’d tucked the letter away to give to Armand next time he saw him.

“And where is that impish maker of yours, hm?” Lestat asked. “Where are you two living these days?”

“Barcelona, for now,” Daniel said. “Assuming he’s still there when I get back.”

Lestat smirked. “Trouble in paradise?”

“You could say that.” Daniel thought of Armand’s hardened expression, his cold kiss against Daniel’s cheek as he’d left. The icy atmosphere of the flat they shared. Daniel fiddled with the plastic sword that held an olive and onion in his cocktail, stirring it around the drink. “He’s gotten so damn volatile. The smallest thing sets off these terrible fights. Or worse, he gets quiet and sullen and avoids me. To be honest, I prefer the fighting.”

Armand had barely said a word when he’d left. Daniel had been pushed past all reason and needed a break, so he’d offered to go check on The Night Island, an errand they did from time to time as they traveled around in hopes that some new location might fix all their problems.

In truth, he’d hoped Armand would come with him. Maybe being home again for a few days would rekindle something, give them some perspective. But Armand had simply wished him bon voyage, without so much as a suggestion he didn’t want him to go, and now Daniel was procrastinating going back.

“He and Louis could teach a masterclass in administering the silent treatment,” Lestat said morosely. He stabbed the cherry in his drink with his own plastic sword, a little green one, and then let it drop, blue liquid splashing out of the glass.

Read the Rest on AO3

#lestat de lioncourt #daniel molloy #lestat/daniel #armand/daniel #armand #tale of the body thief #post-totbt #vc fanfic #vc fic #tvc #vc #vampire chronicles #the vampire chronicles #my favorite brotp with benes #it's been a minute since i wrote anything i liked with them and then this just kind of poured out #idk it happens like that sometimes

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polymysteryinciscanon · 2 years

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Just rewatched Glass Onion and Birdie's flirting with Benoit is such a fantastic character detail. Of course she immediately flirts with Benoit as soon as she sees him. Of course she continues to flirt even when he is visbily uncomfortable and unresponsive. Of course anyone with eyes could see that he's gay but she's either that dumb or rude enough to not care. Birdie's character is founded on such a strong of (sometimes dangerous) ignorance combined with a complete lack of sympathy for those she sees as below her. And the thing about her flirting with Benoit is it could go either way- either she doesn't realize he's gay bc he doesn't fit whatever her incredibly narrow view of a gay man would be, or she feels so entitled to attention, especially male attenion, that she doesn't think his sexuality is relevant. And the thing is, it doesn't even matter that he's gay, Benoit is so obviously uncomfortable with her flirting that the fact that she continues to do so (at least until he admits to owning Sweetie Pants and asks what Disruptors are, as well as calling her out on her behavior- moving from equal to outsider) is gross anyway.

The character work in this movie is nutes you guys

#glass onion #benoit blanc #knives out #birdie jay

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mortalityplays · 3 months

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1995

My answer SHOULD probably be To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar but I'm gonna be honest kitten, daddy's only seen it once, a long time ago, and he was drunk and doesn't remember it well enough to write a whole thing.

Which means instead I have to go with:

This is less of an all-time top shelf movie of the heart for me, but I do love it, and I do consider it an excellent example of truly elegant crime writing. The huge strength of it imo is that all the mechanisms of the plot are motivated and justified by really well realised characters. It's essentially a social deduction movie - the story appears to be something very different depending on your assessment of the people you're observing.

Most of all though, it's a fantastic illustration that a good mystery stays compelling after you know the solution. It has one of the most famous twists of all time, and I think it would be incredibly hard to come to it in 2024 unaware of at least the shape of the grand reveal. But despite that, it's still intriguing. It still surprises, it still provokes you to reconsider what you know you know.

I think a lot of the success of The Usual Suspects comes from the fact it's unafraid of ambiguity. One of the reasons I fucking despised Glass Onion (sorry, sorry, sorry) is because it fits a very contemporary view of mystery that sees the story like a sudoku. It insists that not only is there only one correct answer, there can be only one answer the entire time. And that fucking sucks because I got 25 minutes in and looked at the sudoku and went 'ok obviously this is the only thing that could possibly be going on' and then I still had to sit there and watch it hammer me over the head with each individual number until it was done. And then it had the gall to tell me 'ooh sometimes complex things are obvious' god fuck that movie. Anyway.

My point is that The Usual Suspects doesn't eliminate alternative paths. They're dead ends when you follow them far enough, but you always have space to play as a viewer. Even on re-watching, you can still sit there and go 'huh, what would it mean if X WAS actually Y' or 'is Z really doing this for the reasons he claims, and if not what are the implications'. That's the strength of building the mystery out of the characters' internalities.

#movie asks

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imbalancedphilosophy · 2 years

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So there’s a little detail about Glass Onion that I haven’t seen anyone talk about

In the movie when Benoit is giving his huge dramatic ‘Miles is actually an idiot speech’ they cut to various instances of him misusing words throughout the course of the story to show us how ‘yeah he’s fucking dumb’

There is however an even more damning piece of evidence for ‘he’s dumb and doesn’t know shit’. Its when he’s talking about the Mona Lisa early on. I distinctly remember that he claims that the reason the Mona Lisa’s expression seeming to change is thanks to Da Vinci developing a painting technique that leaves no lines when painting. I felt jolted when this claim was made because its bullshit.

You see the Mona Lisa’s expression is the product of Da Vinci developing a new technique, but its not something nonsensical like ‘not leaving lines’. To paint the Mona Lisa Da Vinci did extensive study into the field of optics and how the human eye works. He then used what he’d learned through extensive study to create the incredible optical illusion that is the Moan Lisa’s smile. Form what I know he primarily took advantage of two things.

One was the difference between how things look in your peripheral vision and how things look when you focus on them. When you focus your sight on her face her expression will appear one way, but then as your focus shifts across the painting to take in other details her features shift from the center of your gaze to your peripheral vision, to which her expression is subtly difference. Then as you notice this change and shift your focus back to her face to try to figure out what changed you are back to perceiving her features through the center of your gaze, meaning you are back to perceiving it the way you originally were.

The other big thing was that he painted the mona lisa using an absurd number of incredibly thin and mostly translucent layers of paint. Were talking hundreds of layers of paint that were so lightly tinted light could pass through them much more thoroughly than traditional paints could allow. This use of thin layers allowed him to make his edges softer and hazier to better replicate the way we actually perceive 3 dimensional objects. This also means that he was effectively painting a very flat sculpture in existence. As a result much like how a sculpture viewed from the left looks different the same sculpture from the right, the mona lisa viewed from one angle will appear different from another, but since its a thick painting instead of a actual 3d object the effect is greatly diminished and damn near unnoticeable.

Anyway all this is to say that Miles was such a fucking idiot that even for something so apparently important to him as the marvel that is the Mona Lisa he still failed to truly understand it.

Also there’s something deeply poetic to me about him failing to understand that the Mona Lisa is the result of hundreds of near translucent layers, much like there a glass onion is made of many translucent layers but still allows you to see through to the heart of it. I’m sure there is all kinds of fun metaphor and symbolism to be extrapolated from that but I am tired and my brain is being non-cooperative so ill leave that for all of you to ponder and pick apart as I go pass out

#Knives Out #Glass Onion #Glass Onion Spoilers #Glass Onion Meta #Miles Bron #Mona Lisa #Knives Out 2 #Knives Out Glass Onion #Miles Bron is a fucking idiot #Also RIP the Mona Lisa #You were sacrificed for a good cause #But its still sad you burned

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jakethesequel · 2 years

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I absolutely hate how 99% of media supposedly set in the "modern day" acts as if COVID doesn't exist and encourages ignorance, so Glass Onion including it at all was a breath of fresh air for me. They went above and beyond. Even though it's only relevant for the introductory scenes of the movie, it adds an incredible amount of depth to those scenes. They'd be great introductions to each of the characters even without it, but the way each character deals with it strengthens their characterization so strongly.

Claire Debella pretends to care about covid safety, maybe genuinely believes in its importance, but never takes the time to properly do it because her career and everything else that keeps her busy always takes precedence. She opens the door to recieve her package, and neglects to wear a mask to protect the man delivering it. When she realizes, she apologizes, but doesn't go get a mask, she just halfhazardly covers her mouth with an elbow. When she wears a mask later in Greece, it's below her nose and halfway off her mouth because she's carrying something between her teeth. She wants to do the right thing, but not enough to slow down and do it right.

Lionel Toussaint is a smart man, aware of the danger of covid, and taking every measure to avoid it, though that's often through offsetting the work to someone else. He does zoom meetings instead of in person. He has his assistants wear full hazmat jumpsuits and sanitize everything they bring to him. In Greece, he double-masks wears an N95 and puts social distance between himself and the others. [Corrected what mask he wears after rewatching the scene]

Birdie Jay pays lip service to caring about covid but does everything in her ability to avoid any restrictions. She's having a massive house party, but it's OK because those dozens of people are in her "pod." She wears a mask made out of fishnet that blocks nothing. She says "are we even allowed to hug" but doesn't wait for an answer before doing it anyway. She knows what she's supposed to say, but refuses to do what she's supposed to do.

Duke Cody don't give a shit at all.

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letmeplaytheliontoo · 2 years

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Steve's Thanksgiving

I have had this idea since September and haven't had the time to write the whole fic but I wanted to put something out for today.

Thanks to @silkspiderstuff, @rae-gar-targaryen, and @mrshipsmcgee for letting me bounce ideas off them. This isn't edited so please be gentle with me. I should be cooking right now.

Steve decides he wants to host thanksgiving for the party a year or two after the Vecna situation. It was resolved, everyone lived, don’t worry about details

Steve spend the early part of November in the Wheeler’s basement looking at Karen’s collection of recipe magazines and borrows her copy of Joy of Cooking

He wants to do this all by himself for everyone he loves.

Literally everyone says no to him doing it alone

Eddie and Robin spend the night before at Steve’s tearing up sage leaving and trying to help Steve defrost the bird and stay calm

Morning of, Steve wakes up to pounding on his door at 6:30 am, please picture him answering the door with his hair going every which way and wearing glasses

Hopper and Murray have shown up with cinnamon rolls made by Will and Joyce, all of the things needed to deep fry the bird, and enough beer to drown the town

Nancy and Jonathan show up next with the cornbread stuffing with all sorts of delicious things like onions and mushrooms and celery and craisins. There is plenty of it to go inside the bird as well as bake on its own

Please insert a scene of Nancy, Hopper, and Murray screaming about how to stuff/cook the bird while Jonathan, Robin, Eddie, and Steve look too tired to participate while they while quietly drink their coffee and eat the cinnamon rolls

Joyce brings her famous green bean casserole

El and Robin make the mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows

Murray does a thing with brussels sprouts and balsamic glaze that would, low-key be the best dish on the table but this will hardly get eaten because brussels sprouts

Eddie has a recipe for mashed potatoes that he ripped from a magazine he saw at the store. These are some of the most garlicky, creamy, buttery mashed potatoes you have ever seen. They are truly terrible for your heart but too delicious for anyone to care.

Wayne makes the gravy on the stove top without saying a word but he’s smiling quietly, enjoying the large boisterous family his nephew has brought him into.

Lucas and Erica’s mom has sent them with the most incredible breaded mac and cheese

Erica has brought her own spicey sweet potato dish because she didn’t want any of that marshmallow nonsense

Claudia and Dustin bring three pies, one of them is chocolate

Max insists and making Pillsbury crescent rolls

Steve has a bit of freak out realizing he forgot about the cranberry sauce.

Nancy tries to placate him by telling him she picked up some that canned nonsense but not to worry about because no one likes cranberry sauce anyway

Steve is not having it. He will not settle for this. Things have gotten away from him. He let everyone else take control but damnit, he will not settle for this. His family deserves better than this. They deserve more than he got. He needs this dinner to be perfect and he needs for there to be real cranberry sauce.

Eddie holds Steve by the shoulders and says, you want real cranberry sauce, we will make real cranberry sauce

Joyce and Eddie help Steve make a lovely cranberry sauce with bits of granny smith apples and dried apricots and chopped pecans. It’s a smashing success and everyone loves it

Mike and Will are bashfully flirting while everyone is “distracted” (no one is that distracted. Everyone knows and they think it’s adorable)

Hopper makes Steve carve the turkey (with a little direction to assist him).

Everything is delicious and dinner itself is amazing.

A football starts in the back yard after dinner and Eddie joins under great pleading from Steve. Eddie didn’t need the pleading but he likes how cute Steve looks when he does it. One tackle results in a very cute Steddie make-out. Hopper teases them but he laughs

Mike and Will do the dishes together

Robin ducks out to meet up with Vicky after giving Steve and giant hug and congratulating him on a job well done.

Max and Lucas fall asleep cuddled up the couch

El and Erica are lying on the floor, trying to fight their food coma while White Christmas plays on the TV.

Claudia specifically fawns over Eddie and asks for his mashed potato recipe

She gets a little tipsy and gently hits on Wayne who is surprisingly smooth but a complete gentleman about it

Joyce pulls Steve aside to tell him how well it went and how glad she is that he wanted to do this.

At the end of day, Steve and Eddie are in bed together and Steve mentions how surprised everyone came together like that.

Eddie reminds Steve that of course his family would for him.

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faded-coat-of-blue · 2 years

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(ADVANCE NOTICE: This post is spoiler-free)

So having only watched the original Knives Out for the first time last week, and having watched Glass Onion last night and just generally not being someone who enjoys film as a medium (though this is somewhat counterbalanced by me being the world’s biggest slut for murder mysteries)…

Ohhhhhhhhh my god. Oh my god that film was so good on so many different incredible levels and if you follow me here I can already guarantee that you’re exactly the kind of person who would adore it. I’m gonna try and throw some non-spoilery endorsements of it below, because unfortunately tumblr did spoil it quite significantly for me personally (luckily it’s the kind of film where that sorta doesn’t matter too much? Still enjoyable to see the mystery unfold even if you know where it’s ultimately headed)

1) it feels like almost too obvious a place to start, but both the casting and the acting in this movie were top notch. Daniel Craig took the half-caricature of a classic sleuth that he’d already done well in Knives Out and just perfected it. I won’t elaborate too much so as not to spoil characters, but the entire supporting cast felt hugely believable when they needed to be believable and were hilarious parodies when they needed to be funny - particular favourite performances of mine were Kate Hudson, Janelle Monáe and Edward Norton (whom I’ve always rated anyway but y’know), but honestly everyone, whether minor or major role, killed it

2) the political commentary is excellent and a lot more nuanced than you might initially think

3) it was an actually palatable COVID movie? It was truly delightful to see a ‘oh this happens to be set during COVID and like, it was such a big thing that obviously it’s going to influence a lot’ movie that at the same time wasn’t a ‘this is all (or even at all) a “life during COVID” movie’ - it was just there and acknowledged but it absolutely wasn’t integral to the movie

4) as a long-time wrestling fan, hi there, Batista’s dick. We missed you, buddy (for anyone concerned, it’s not ever shown explicitly but like… the speedos are tight)

5) utterly gorgeous set and costume design that (particularly the latter) was actually done with massive consideration for characterisation

6) many incredible (and in one instance downright hilarious) celebrity cameos (which normally I hate but you’ll see why it makes sense in this movie) - particular favourite had to be piss-drunk Yo-Yo Ma (who I’ll admit I only recognised because YouTube had literally recommended me a video of him two hours prior)

I think pretty much everything else I have to say about this film is spoilery but uhhhhhhh

please watch it

Oh and if you’ve seen it and either want to froth at me or you can think of non-spoilery good things that I’ve missed (I’ve already thought of one) please please DM me or reply or whatever

7) every single way in which the Mona Lisa is used in this movie

8) the fact that I can’t put my finger on it but if you’d told me everything I know about this movie from start to finish without me seeing it, I would’ve assumed I was getting Goncharov’ed

#knives out #glass onion

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alparlaboratories · 1 year

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I was watching an Umineko vid and remembered my few problems with the Glass Onion movie, how I felt like the social commentary felt a lot worse because of the characters themselves, and how in trying to lean more into satire and comedy they ended up making the satire weaker because the characters themselves were weaker.

In Knives Out the rich family was awful and the movie had fun playing with that, but the difference was that they were better portrayed as actual people instead of caricatures. The daughter with the dog toy ball and her solving that last riddle from her dad, the antagonist’s spite toward his family feeling a lot more real despite how much of a dickwad he was, and even the grandmother. It’s not true for all the characters, but a lot of them felt more like people, and that helped the satire aspect of it even if the movie did lean into comedy a lot with it.

And I know that comparing a 2hr movie to a 1-million word visual novel isn’t fair, the VN clearly has an advantage when it comes to developing characters, it’s gotta use that space for something. But I think about how the main family, the Ushiromiyas, are all so incredibly well-written. A lot of them -hell I’d say even all of them- are horrible, horrible people and in so many different and real ways.

And yet all of them have so much depth to them that their awfulness shines and becomes so interesting. The social commentary in Umineko hits like a truck because the writer was a social worker and he knows what these people were like back then, how the ties of family and blood can be inescapable shackles 90% of the time, and your only comfort the other 10%.

How one man can say ‘you know what? I’m not gonna go to therapy over the horrible stuff that happened to me’ and instead creates the most vile, horrific vortex of misery and regret and throws his whole family, one generation after another, into it as punishment for... nothing. For not bearing suffering with as much ‘dignity’ as him, even as he himself lies on the floor crying and begging pathetically for the spirit of his deceased love to come back to him.

Anyway what this all boils down to is that Umineko is great, and also even if you write bad people as satire you should try making them actual characters first, then make fun of them.

#umineko #knives out #glass onion

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lookwhathappenedtomack · 2 years

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Ladies, gentlemen, and interesting people, welcome to...

The Mackolades are my personal annual film awards, awarded to my favorite (for the most part) movies, performances, and people from all the movies I watched for the first time in 2022, regardless of release year. This is more or less a companion series to Brendan’s Pink Bettes, as most of our movie watching is together. You can see the first and second Mackolades here on my tumblr, now let’s get started on the third!

FAVORITE DRAMA

WINNER: tick, tick...BOOM! (2021) dir. Lin-Manuel Miranda

FINALISTS:

Avatar: The Way of Water (2022) dir. James Cameron

Dramarama (2020) dir. Jonathan Wysocki

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) dir. Daniel Scheinert & Daniel Kwan

TÁR (2022) dir. Todd Field

NOMINEES:

The Batman (2022) dir. Matt Reeves

The Godfather (1972) dir. Francis Ford Coppola

Klaus (2019) dir. Sergio Pablos

Pride & Prejudice (2005) dir. Joe Wright

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) dir. Anthony Minghella

Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022) dir. George Miller

GREAT year for the Favorite Drama category! I knew from the first few minutes of tick, tick...BOOM! that it was winning, but two of the finalists (Dramarama and Everything Everywhere All At Once) gave it a real run for its money. And then TÁR was just impeccable in every way (CATE!!!!!!). Special shoutout to The Godfather for actually living up to the hype and The Batman for being a genuinely good superhero movie. Highly recommend Dramarama in particular to any of my theatre friends that see this.

FAVORITE HORROR

WINNER: The Menu (2022) dir. Mark Mylod

FINALISTS:

All About Evil (2010) dir. Joshua Grannell (aka Peaches Christ)

Nope (2022) dir. Jordan Peele

Pearl (2022) dir. Ti West

Scream (2022) dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett

NOMINEES:

Arachnophobia (1990) dir. Frank Marshall

Barbarian (2022) dir. Zach Cregger

Fresh (2022) dir. Mimi Cave

Hellraiser (2022) dir. David Bruckner

What Keeps You Alive (2018) dir. Colin Minihan

X (2022) dir. Ti West

GREAT year for horror, too! The Menu is such a fun ride, almost more of a dark comedy than horror. I had a lot more actual scares this year than in 2021, particularly in Nope, Scream, Arachnophobia, and Barbarian.

FAVORITE COMEDY

WINNER: Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar (2021) dir. Josh Greenbaum

FINALISTS:

Do Revenge (2022) dir. Jennifer Kaytin Robinson

Glass Onion (2022) dir. Rian Johnson

Hello, My Name Is Doris (2015) dir. Michael Showalter

Kissing Jessica Stein (2001) dir. Charles Herman-Wurmfeld

NOMINEES:

Burn After Reading (2008) dir. Ethan Coen & Joel Coen

Fire Island (2022) dir. Andrew Ahn

Little Miss Sunshine (2006) dir. Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris

Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris (2022) dir. Anthony Fabian

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002) dir. Joel Zwick

See How They Run (2022) dir. Tom George

Hey guess what. It was a great year for comedy, too. Barb & Star is destined to join Romy & Michele and the Tragedy Girls as a pair of gal pals that live in my head for the rest of my life. They’ve had this win sewn up since I first saw the movie in August, but there was still plenty of competition. Do Revenge is probably my unofficial runner up - those twists and turn and goops and gags and outfits!

FAVORITE SERIES

WINNER: Before Trilogy (3/3)

FINALISTS:

The Godfather (3/3)

Hell House, LLC (2/3)

Wong Kar-wai’s Love Trilogy (3/3)

X/Pearl/Maxxxine (2/3)

God, what can I say that hasn’t already been said about Richard Linklater’s Before trilogy? It’s just two people talking, but it’s perfect!

THE THANKS! I HATE IT! AWARD

WINNER: Whiplash (2014) dir. Damien Chazelle

FINALIST: Fall (2022) dir. Scott Mann

This new category is for movies that are good, but I hate them anyway! And there’s no movie that quite fits that bill like Whiplash. What an incredible work that I never wanna see again. Or dwell on for long here.

BIGGEST SURPRISE

WINNER: Halloween Ends (2022) dir. David Gordon Green

FINALISTS:

Brothers (2009) dir. Jim Sheridan

The Invitation (2022) dir. Jessica M. Thompson

Nerve (2016) dir. Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman

Uncle Peckerhead (2020) dir. Matthew John Lawrence

NOMINEES:

Fall (2022) dir. Scott Mann

Hatching (2022) dir. Hanna Bergholm

Hello, My Name Is Doris (2015) dir. Michael Showalter

Kissing Jessica Stein (2001) dir. Charles Herman-Wurmfeld

The Lost City (2022) dir. Adam Nee & Aaron Nee

Valentine (2001) dir. Jamie Blanks

After Halloween Kills won Biggest Letdown at last year’s Mackolades, I went into Halloween Ends with rock bottom expectations, but was pleasantly surprised! From the opening scene it showed it was completely different from any Halloween movie that came before it, and I was mostly delighted by what followed. It’s far from the best Halloween, and has some major problems, but it’s leagues ahead of Kills, and that alone win it Biggest Surprise for me.

BIGGEST LETDOWN

WINNER: Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness (2022) dir. Sam Raimi

I’ve engaged in a fair bit of MCU hate over the last few years, but I’ve held onto the belief that I’d probably enjoy them if I gave them a chance and just didn’t think too hard about it. Well... I guess I was wrong. I really thought I’d like this, the trailers looked interesting and Sam Raimi has a pretty good track record with me. But yeah... Martin Scorsese was right, these are just flashy theme park rides. Absolutely zero substance worth engaging with. What a disappointment, for me and for general culture. Anyway, somehow this was the only movie I watched in 2022 that I went into with expectations that were significantly let down, and I figured I’d give it its own multiverse of mediocrity with the myriad of posters available.

FAVORITE LEAD ACTRESS PERFORMANCE

WINNER: Cate Blanchett, TÁR (2022)

FINALISTS:

Mia Goth, Pearl (2022)

Janelle Monae, Glass Onion (2022)

Keke Palmer, Nope (2022)

Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

NOMINEES:

Jessica Chastain, The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2021)

Sally Field, Hello, My Name Is Doris (2015)

Natasha Lyonne, All About Evil (2010)

Lesley Manville, Mrs. Harris Goes To Paris (2022)

Thandiwe Newton, God’s Country (2022)

Anya Taylor-Joy, The Menu (2022)

Okay I have to bullet point this one so I can talk about all the finalists.

Cate is THE performance of the year for me. Her take on Lydia Tár is nothing short of amazing - even from the opening scene, with that TED Talk-like scene where she just talks about music for a few minutes, had Brendan and me grabbing each other and whispering in the (otherwise empty) theater about how breathtaking her performance was. I can’t believe I’m giving her lead actress two years in a row (out of three total!) but she really does deserve it.

Brendan and I loved Mia Goth in 2020′s Emma, but she reached new heights in X and, in particular, Pearl. The monologue! The face journey! The everything else! She’s now on the We’ll See Anything She’s In list, and I can’t wait for MaXXXine.

Janelle! I don’t have as much to say for her, but damn she picks projects well! Incredible lady and fantastic performance(s) in Glass Onion.

Keke - #ReleaseTheSpinCut! What a joy.

Okay I adore Michelle Yeoh and if Cate doesn’t win the Oscar I hope it’s hers. Truly wonderful and deserves everything good that’s coming her way right now.

FAVORITE SUPPORTING ACTRESS PERFORMANCE

WINNER: Hong Chau, The Menu (2022)

FINALISTS:

Jamie Clayton, Hellraiser (2022)

Courtney Cox, Scream (2022)

Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

Brittany Snow, X (2022)

NOMINEES:

Margaret Cho, Fire Island (2022)

Tovah Feldshuh, Kissing Jessica Stein (2001)

Vanessa Hudgens, tick, tick...BOOM! (2021)

Andrea Martin, My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

Alia Shawkat, Being The Ricardos (2021)

Tandi Wright, Pearl (2022)

Hong Chau is another 2022 addition to the We’ll See Anything She’s In list, and she got an Oscar nom for the other one! Yay! But this is about my favorites, not objectivity, and I prefer her in The Menu. What a treat! I don’t have much to say about the finalists and nominees that wouldn’t require this becoming far too long, so I’m just gonna move on.

FAVORITE ACTOR PERFORMANCE

WINNER: Paul Dano, Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

FINALISTS:

Marlon Brando, The Godfather (1972)

Austin Butler, Elvis (2022)

Alton Brown, Elvis (2022)

Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

NOMINEES:

Rohan Campbell, Halloween Ends (2022)

Ralph Fiennes, The Menu (2022)

Andrew Garfield, tick, tick...BOOM! (2021)

Robin de Jesús, tick, tick...BOOM! (2021)

Haley Joel Osment, Sassy Pants (2012)

Conrad Ricamora, Fire Island (2022)

I started watching Little Miss Sunshine for Toni, but I remember it for Paul, particularly the sequence pictured above. Special shoutout to Alton Brown for stealing the show for a scene or two of Elvis (a difficult task when Austin Butler’s Elvis is present!)

THE TONI “SHE HAS THE RANGE” COLLETTE AWARD FOR MULTI-GENRE EXCELLENCE

WINNER: Jim Carrey, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)/Sonic The Hedgehog (2020)

FINALISTS:

Jamie Dornan, Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar (2021)/Belfast (2021)

Idris Elba, The Dark Tower (2017)/Sonic The Hedgehog 2 (2022)/Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)

Jenna Ortega, The Fallout (2021)/Scream (2022)

Tilda Swinton, Burn After Reading (2008)/Constantine (2005)/Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)

I mean, Jim Carrey was basically born to play Dr. Robotnik, and when you contrast that with Eternal Sunshine, well, that’s basically what this category is for!

THE CARLY RAE JEPSEN “SHE MAKES MY BLOOD FEEL CARBONATED” AWARD

WINNER: Elaine Stritch, Original Cast Album: Company (1970)

During the Ladies Who Lunch sequence of the Company documentary, I must’ve turned to Brendan at least three times to say “I love being gay” - Elaine’s an icon and a queen and I hate I didn’t get into theatre soon enough to appreciate her while she was alive. (NOTE: If I’d started this category a year earlier, Carol Channing certainly would’ve gotten it for the documentary Larger Than Life, and it felt wrong to not mention that here)

HOTTEST DADDY

WINNER: Russell Crowe, The Nice Guys (2016)

FINALISTS:

George Clooney, Solaris (2002)

Guillermo Diaz, Bros (2022)

Thomas Forbes-Madison, The Lost City (2022)

David Harbour, Violent Night (2022)

NOMINEES:

Daniel Craig, Glass Onion (2022)

Idris Elba, Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)

Ethan Hawke, The Black Phone (2022)

Martin Henderson, X (2022)

Peter Sarsgaard, The Batman (2022)

Bradley Whitford, tick, tick...BOOM! (2021)

Someone ask me what kind of guys I like. I dare you. I downloaded six entire movies to get enough usable shots of these men - definitely the most work I did for any single category.

Anyway, that’s the 2022 Mackolades! 65 movies honored (or dishonored) from an eligibility pool of 205. Now you know what I love - any recommendations of what to watch in 2023?

#mackolades

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worldwright · 8 months

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good evening ! im super early today bc im dying lmao

man, it was so fucking hard to fall asleep after my war against that fucking stinkbug, and someone i wont name fucking deserted and left her leader to fight this great and horrifying enemy

anyway, i checked which fucking painkiller i can take, and the only one i can is paracetamol but this fucker does nothing to my headaches, so im switching entirely to water from tea bc it works better than a fucking painkiller

i slept bad (what a surprise), my father woke me up bc he couldnt find me (man, the only day he wants to know where the fuck i am is the only where i dont wnat him to find him), a headache is there and my nap didnt help ;-; but at least i finished my second watch of glass onion (started last week) and watched the episode of dunmesh and now i can say w/o any doubt that chilchuck is my fav -he was from the very beginning but ude, now im sure)

ill be able to finally sleep in my bed tonight yay

and here a picture the coward from this morning (or icecream, or latte, or whatever you like to compare her to. my friends call her "table basse" [coffee table] or "chieng en format familial" [familiy-sized doggo]. youre too kind with your nicknames for her lol)

have a wonderful morning with your partner my friend !

o how decadent is her lounging !! would that we could all feel the same peace 😌❤️

(no that is not proper English grammar don't copy me 😭😭)

hehe tiny emojis 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🍃🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

immmmmm so excited to hang out with people I felt like I was withering lmfao

I think I'm gonna go up to see all my friends next weekend, since all of them are once again living in their dream life shared apartment with the besties ughhhh I can't wait to live there

the new office manager at my job is so cool :3 he's incredibly gay lmfao

I've officially caught up on apothecary diaries. ugh what do I do with my life now

obviously the answer is wait impatiently for every new episode and write analysis posts in the meantime

mmm I wanna reread witch hat atelier...... next week downtime obsession found 👍👍

egg salad last night was all right! I accidentally added too much mayonnaise and then had to overcorrect from there, so it ended up not having as much egg per volume as it should have. but still tasty and nutritious :3

speaking of food you're SO valid about Chilchuck. he's just ❤️❤️❤️ This Is A Divorced Father Of Three With Extreme Communication Issues ❤️❤️❤️ who looks like a middle schooler 🥰🥰🥰

also chatted with a friend about our fic ideas, which was really fun. the problem is that I have a really fleshed-out AU, but I don't know what actual plot to put in the AU. lol. ahhhhhhh

girlfriend weekend!!!!! girlfriend weekend!!!!!!!!

hope your headache goes away in time for you to get good sleep tonight!!

#pen pal

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nerdprincess73 · 2 years

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So, everyone arguing that the Mona Lisa couldn't have burned like that in Glass Onion-- she's wood, she's paper, yada yada.

She's been acclimating in a hydrogen rich environment for who knows how long. Might as well have soaked her in gasoline. If the people are breathing, there's enough oxygen to burn, and there's plenty of fuel.

I'm thinking about what happens if she didn't burn. If she made it back to the Louvre.

The Mona Lisa is incredibly unstable. She's painted on wood, and that has caused cracks--so she's in a temperature and humidity controlled case. And has been for decades.

If she's out in the open, on an island in the middle of the Aegean.... She's never going to be the same regardless.

Not to mention the comparative instability of the paint. Da Vinci was constantly mixing up experimental paints, and he used them on his works. Mona Lisa is many many many layers of thin layers of not-always-compatible paints.

Salt air--wonderful for skin and hair, and lungs with our weird saltwater bodies, but terrible for preservation of art or artifacts. It can spell trouble for modern paints--with predictable behaviors and aging, if improperly cared for--canvas reacts to the environment, and can be damaged if stretched while too warm, or sag if stretched too cold.

For La Giaconda? With her wooden base, and fine layers of paint, which aren't evenly adhered to one another, and the varnishing that has been applied to her--she's going to warp. Badly. And unevenly. Because the front is sealed (a couple times, with modern sealants), but the back isn't, so it won't absorb moisture evenly. And that's going to cause separation between layers of paint.

In the Louvre, her case has a circulation system in it that is constantly moving the air and maintaining temperature and humidity.

Now she's in a partially enclosed case, which is open to the air. And that would be bad, anyway, in any environment, but particularly if you're talking about an environment with the potential for variation that a modern building in a humid climate risks.

Windows open, door open, temp and humidity are way up. Everything closed? Climate control is on--temp and humidity go way down.

And then you throw into that an opening and closing security glass, which means potentially, you could trap very humid air in there with the painting, and then the room could renormalize, before you reopen the case, and then she's going through multiple cycles of expanding and contracting--potentially to fairly extreme degrees.

She's never going to be the same.

And it won't be instant. Because while there will be certain effects that will have already taken place, but long term, this will be another layer to the complexity in her preservation. Has she absorbed salt, and how that will effect the way she absorbs humidity in the future, how will that effect attempts at restoration--mostly, they've used watercolor to do touch-ups--to remove any salt that has been deposited, they would have to do a very very careful wash, and would require them to redo any watercolor restoration.

So, hypothetically, lockdown ends, Mona Lisa is returned to the Louvre, and they find that, oh, despite all the shit this dumbass agreed to to preserve her, he didn't do it, and now, their biggest draw can't go back on display, because there's a salt crust over the entire painting, and her colors are dulled by that (at best. At best, it's cosmetic, and can be totally reversed).

Rather than putting her back on display, safe and sound, for the public to see, she's now go to go through a restoration process before she can be displayed again.

And those have been troublesome in the past.

In the early 1800s, she was cleaned and lacquered, which is now believed to have removed the topmost layer of paint, and dulled her colors.

Now, they'd do their best, obviously, and unless and until she's a pile of rot, Mona Lisa will be around. But this will be a stain on all of their careers. The folks who permitted this would be ruined.

Mona Lisa is a priceless painting. Remember that painting of Jesus that was... restored a few years back and is now a meme? Or last Met Gala when they destroyed Marilyn Monroe's dress? And people were cranky that people cared about the dress all of the sudden?

Imagine that everyone had know about these things before hand. Imagine that everyone had loved them before hand. Imagine that there have been dozens of hit songs written about you, for over a century. Imagine that they were the most famous painting in modern history. Imagine that they were art that people write letters to and make trips specifically to see.

Now, all this is still the case, now--she's gone. Forever. Because they loaned a painting to an idiot with a massive ego for some dollars. But also. It would have been bad for them anyway.

(also, um... there was someone who said in the KO/GO universe, the Mona Lisa is gone, destroyed. True. But also, she's too big. The painting is larger than the real one. Her longer dimension is about two and a half feet, much smaller than she appears in the film. She's the real Mona Lisa for Plot Reasons, and suspension of disbelief means she's the Real Mona Lisa. But yeah, that's not what she'd look like).

#glass onion #Mona Lisa #I have some thoughts #suspension of disbelief folks #it's real bc it's relevant to the plot is all

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