#anyways ask box is open go hurt my feelings again if u agree/j

[cosmobrain00]

remembered the time someone once said tht my mike was "too mean" like ong?? man I could make him worse sorry

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Ghost” Part 2

Bane’s wife is a mystery to everyone, including her husband. Ghost also happens to be The Joker’s little obsession, not that she ever pays attention to him. Maybe that’s why The King of Gotham should stop messing around: when you push too much, you might get more than you bargained for.

The Joker and his girlfriend left about 15 minutes ago; Kara was in a bad shape and you offered to drive her car back tomorrow. You have no idea how she made it to your house after the events at the club. You could tell J was fuming and for once he seemed to care about what happened to his woman: maybe it was a little wakeup call The King of Gotham needed. Hard to tell when it comes to these matters due to his spectacular personality.

One thing’s for sure though: after his arrival Kara couldn’t stop crying and Ghost knew why. The Joker’s girlfriend merely escaped assault and him giving a damn about the ordeal made her overemotional: it was the first time he showed some real interest outside the bedroom; he held her hand all the way to the car and didn’t even mind a kiss before she got in.

“You’re awfully quiet,” your husband points out. “You’ve been staring out the windows at the empty parking lot since they left. Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah…I’m fine,” you turn only to see him signal for you.

Bane is not stupid; he can tell you’re distracted and he can guess the reason. As soon as you straddle his lap he rests his forehead on yours, choosing to dig a bit dipper without sugar coating his objective.

“Are you thinking about that day?”

You take such a strenuous breath there’s no need for a verbal confirmation.

“Wanna talk about it?”

You are aware of the meaning:  your spouse is not asking for details, he’s just bringing it up in case you want to share your feelings regarding Kara’s unfortunate experience.

You caress his bald head and sigh, prepared to describe the facts.

Bane never mentioned anything about the first time you’ve met simply because he always assumed he understood what he saw five years ago. The truth is he didn’t.

“When…when you found me…” you gulp and he distinguishes the struggle.

“Hey,” your husband whispers. “That’s not why I brought it up. You don’t have to re-live the past; I was trying to hint that if you want to discuss…”

He twists a strand of your white hair around his finger while you interrupt:

“When you found me behind the truck, that guy wasn’t trying to rape me; he was trying to kill me.”

Bane’s not wearing his mask and you can read the conflicting emotions written all over his face.

“Vee was my ex,” you continue and pause in order to gather your thoughts. “When I learned he was involved in human trafficking, I urged him to quit. The money was great and he refused so I planned to disappear and help some girls flee in the process. I was very careful yet he still perceived my intentions and when you bumped into us… he was trying to finish me so I won’t be any trouble for his boss and their line of business.”

“Shit…” HB mumbles, hating that his Ghost looks upset.

“I wasn’t defending myself from a rapist, I was fighting for my life. What do you think about that, hm?” you throw the question at him and his reply doesn’t fail:

“That whatever- his-name-was-your-ex had it coming. You can’t kill a Goddess! A man is lucky enough to encounter one and if he fucks up, then he signs up for the bitter consequences.”

A few moments of complete silence, then Bane hears his favorite words:

“I love you,” Y/N pecks the thin scars across his nose and decides to turn the gloomy night into a more accommodating situation. “We were having lots of fun when the unexpected guest barged in; we should stick to the original schedule and reprise our activity.”

“Agree,” Bane squeezes you in his strong arms tighter. “A tiny Ghost might be already in here,” he softly rubs your tummy.

“Or a handsome little brute,” you giggle and he has to underline:

“However, it doesn’t hurt to keep practicing.”

“U-hum,” you wink and he likes the smile forming on your lips, infinitely better than having his wife distressed about an incident that almost ended her existence.

*************

5 Years Ago

Bane was done loading the supplies he wanted in his truck, lingering at the spot chosen for that evening’s transaction. It was consistently a random place where everyone that wanted to buy or sell could get together and exchange merchandise; under the radar of course, since the negotiations were less than legal and the individuals present could have easily be enlisted on FBI’s most wanted list.

A lot of turmoil and movement at the campsite, but he still detected a woman’s scream; he carefully listened when it happened again. Bane circled his truck and walked between the vehicles stationed there until his heavy steps abruptly halted: there was a lady trying to get from under a limp body collapsed on top of hers, still holding the rock she used in order to defend herself.  

You crawled from under Vee and froze when you noticed Bane glaring at you. Y/N recognized the masked man: he was starting to gain a certain reputation, not that it was his purpose; he only stuck to his agenda and didn’t give a damn about anything else.

Your future spouse believed that one of the imbeciles tried to sample the merchandise and got more than he could chew; he also knew they didn’t like the girls to rebel and the price paid if they did.

That feral look in your eyes reminded him of the same fire that fueled his veins every time he attempted to get out of the accursed Pit; made him take a decision he never regretted: instead of alerting the others and score a nice bonus for cooperation, Bane gave you a choice.

“If you want to survive, come with me.”

You hesitated: was he toying with you before sounding the alarm?! The pile of muscles indifferently distanced from the scene and you got on your feet, stumbling from the aftermath of almost being assassinated by your former boyfriend. Vee was out cold and you dropped the rock by his feet, not bothering to check if he was dead.

You followed Bane to his truck and he gestured for you to hop in the back; it was difficult to fit in between the boxes yet you managed anyway. He covered everything with the tarp and advised while sealing the way out:

“Stay put!”

It was a nerve wracking couple of hours: Bane drove away immediately and you had no clue about what will occur next. Where was he taking you anyway?

**********  

He pried the door and Y/N strolled inside when she realized he was keeping it opened for her. “This is a gated, private property; we’re right outside Gotham, north of Willow Creek. You should lay low: by know they must have identified the guy and they might be searching for the responsible party.”

He was thinking you were “one of the girls” and you didn’t correct him.

“I had no clue I’ll find myself in this mess,” you skeptically brought it up. “I should go to my apartment and pack suitcases.”

“Bad idea,” the distorted voice huffed. “You should disappear, it’s safer. Those are not the type of people you want to cross!”

You nervously played with the hem of your torn dress and Bane added:

“There are clean clothes in the bedroom; you can use one of my t-shirts. I’ll bring some items your size tomorrow.”

“You’re not staying?!” you inquired, perplexed.

“Nope, I’m busy. Give yourself a tour; I’m positive you can cope with my absence.”

He saw the doubt and muttered:

“You’re not a prisoner; you can leave. Close the gates if you do. If I were you, I would linger on the premises.”

That’s all he said and left a very confused Y/N in the middle of the living room. You wished to ask why he was aiding a total stranger, but you figured it was dumb to do so: Bane seemed like the type of man that didn’t do things unless he felt like it. Period.

You curiously inspected the house, marveled that it was neat and organized: four bedrooms and two bathrooms upstairs, the spacious living room, another bathroom and the kitchen downstairs. The dust settled on the counters indicated the hideout wasn’t used very often; the decorations were minimal, mostly functional, basic furniture.

You were grateful when you opened the fridge and found some food that was still eatable: the precooked kind but you weren’t picky at that point. After warming up a container in the microwave, Y/N took a sit at the table; with the crazy events that spiraled out of control she didn’t have time to reflect about her current predicament.

It hit as you were munching on your ravioli: how the hell did you end up there?! A sudden, unbearable sense of isolation washed all over you, the numbness that protected you from the initial shock gradually dissipating in thin air.

You had no plan. None whatsoever.

Was it better to go with the flow until you could outline a strategy aimed to get you out of the deep whole you accidentally sunk in? Maybe…

So you did.

**************

Next morning, Bane popped at the residence as promised; at 10:12 am he discovered a hyper Y/N tidying up the kitchen: after a sleepless night and six cups of coffee, she was pretty much invincible. You were wearing one of his military print t-shirts: it was big and he was somehow amused to see you swim in the garment.

“I brought you clothes, shoes and food,” Bane grumbled and arranged boxes on the chair closer to you. “I estimated on the size.”

“Thank you,” the sincerity in your voice proved you meant it. “Thank you for helping me.”

“U-hum,” he intensely gazed at you and maybe because you weren’t in your best shape you misinterpreted his demeanor: was your savior expecting some sort of reward? Since you didn’t have much to offer at that time, Bane probably wanted sex as compensation for his services. If he would have taken what he wanted by force, you reckoned it wouldn’t have been pleasant, not with a man his size; not putting up a fight could have made it at least bearable.  

Your logic was way off though: as soon as you took your t-shirt off he came near, picked it from the floor and dressed you back himself.

“You don’t have to do that,” he emphasized and saw how embarrassed you were. “Do you know how to load guns?” Bane switched the dialogue without making it awkward.

“Not really…”

“I’ll show you; I have a project coming up and you can assist.”

“OK,” you were fast to accept as it was an easy way to repay him.

“Besides cracking someone’s skull with a rock, do you know how to defend yourself?” the interrogation continued.

”If I have to.”

“Comes in handy,” he muffled the words beyond the mask and promptly took it off so he can enjoy the coffee too.

It was the first time you saw Bane minus the breathing device; definitely not what you imagined: he was good-looking. HB had a few thin scars across his nose and a thicker one above the upper lip that added a certain flair to his wholesomeness. 

He caught you staring and misjudged:

“What?” he growled, pouring hot liquid in a mug. “Is the view not up to your standards?”

Y/N has always been a direct person, that’s why she described exactly what was in her mind:

“I was actually thinking that you’re handsome.”

One of Bane’s eyebrows went high and he huffed at the candid remark:

“Hm… … I’ve been called worse.”

You bit on your cheek and waited for him to finish his coffee in silence, but he had more to say.

“You should change your appearance; it’s safer if they’re searching around for the runaway girl that dared retaliate.”

You nodded a yes, wondering how you could accomplish such task. He wasn’t wrong: it would have evidently aided if they were indeed hunting for you.

“I know somebody,” Bane insinuated the path of action. “I can bring Zorina here and she can work her magic; the woman’s a pro.”

“Sure,” you welcomed his proposal and instantly blurred out: “I have money stashed at my apartment; it’s a hefty sum, all cash. I’ll have to retrieve it then I will be able to reimburse you for everything you’re doing for me.”

He snorted, entertained at your passionate tirade:

“Reimbursed!” Bane repeated and slammed the cup on the counter, preparing to bail. “Don’t worry about that; they might have the condo under surveillance or maybe they already raided the rooms and took your money.”

“I hope not…” you frowned, swiftly tense at his warning.

“Wait for Zorina,” the suggestion alleviated your anxiety a bit. “I’ll text her and she can be here in one hour. I am going out of town in the morning; I will return on the 27th,” he grabbed his mask from the table. “If you have an emergency, call the number I uploaded as an emergency contact,” Bane handed you a brand new cell phone.

“Will you be the one answering?” Y/N asked.

“Yes,” he confirmed and noticed how relieved you seemed at his affirmation.

Bane came back after 10 days, on the 27th as scheduled. You were outside on the porch and he stopped in his tracks when you emerged from behind the wood pillars.

“How do I look like?” you presented the new Y/N to the stunned man instead of a conventional greeting: your hair was completely white, shaved on the left side and the fresh skull tattoo inked on the exposed skin completed the ensemble quite beautifully. The dark red eyeshadow and black leather suit scored extra points with your future husband.

Bane was a straightforward person and didn’t utter words unless he meant them, yet the unpredicted reply still made you smile:

“Like a Goddess.”

*************

For the next six months you helped with whatever was necessary: it kept you busy and while you understood everything was a test, you were able to form your own opinions too.

Bane wasn’t a mindless brute: he was intelligent, outspoken and articulate; the crew didn’t question his decisions not necessarily due to his physical appearance that indicated he could level anyone to the ground with one punch, but because they respected him.

You blindly plunged into an unfamiliar environment: in the great scheme of things, your ex Vee has invariably been a pawn struggling to find his way up to the top. Weren’t you the same now? Another small piece of the puzzle trying to figure out where it belongs?  

You weren’t positive so you kept your distance from the team members and never really talk to them; Y/N only did what she was told and stayed away from social interactions. After your disappointing past experiences, one could have said you didn’t like people. Why bother?

Even Bane was probably going to send you on your way soon: he kept on coming to the house more often and your best speculation was that he was getting ready to tell you to vacate the property. Which was fair; you couldn’t rely on his hospitality forever. And for some reason it made you sad.

It was true that Bane dropped by more often: from barely visiting the hideout once a month before your arrival, he multiplied his visits to 3-4 times a week. Under the pretext of checking up on his protégé and give her assignments, of course. It had nothing to do with how much he liked seeing your face light up every time he was around.

One night you fell asleep in front of the fireplace: it was cozy to pile up blankets and watch the longs burn until they turned into ashes. You woke up around 2 in the morning and stretched, surprised to see Bane passed out on the couch a couple of feet away. You didn’t hear him sneak in and assumed he had a motive for being there: to finally tell you he wanted the residence evacuated.

You rolled over and got on your knees, carefully placing two more logs on top of the dying fire.

“Add more,” the deep tone made you jump. “It’s getting chilly.”

“Hi,” you tilted your head to look at him. “I didn’t mean to awake you,” you apologized and did as requested.

“You didn’t,” Bane rubbed his eyes, totally used with short power naps instead of dozing off for hours.

You delayed more conversation, but it had to be addressed although you dreaded the subject; maybe he was expecting you to get the hint so you gathered the courage to speak up:  

“I was debating… I should…e-hem…” you fakely coughed, “… find a new establishment…”

“Don’t you wanna stay?” he cut you off.

“I do,” you admitted, “but it’s not fair to take advantage of…”

Bane’s laughter at the statement made you halt your small presentation; it was his strategy of disguising how discouraged he was at your arbitrary idea.

“I doubt I’m the type that can be taken advantage of,” he got on his elbow and you abandoned the warmth of the fireplace in order to sit down by him on the sofa. “You don’t have to go anywhere…unless you wish to,” he gave you choices once more.

You glared at each other for a few seconds and then you demanded:

“Can you please take your mask off?”

“Why?”

“I want to kiss you.”

Bane unsnapped the leather straps without a second invitation: God knows he seldom dreamed about it without paying attention to what it truly meant.

Your lips touched and the intimacy made him slowly pull you in his arms; it seemed natural that the woman he was in love with belonged there.

“My name is Y/N,” you suddenly moaned in between kisses and Bane paused, eager to mention:

“For your own safety I suggest to never disclose it to another living soul. It’s better if you don’t exist; a ghost doesn’t have a past or present thus can never be seized.”

“I like the notion of being a Ghost,” you intertwined your fingers with his. “And you have to call me something; the rest of the world also.”

“Sounds like you got yourself a deal,” Bane grinned and instantly cautioned: “I also have to bring up to your attention that I’ve never slept with a Goddess before.”

Your mouth got close to his ear and you whispered:

“I’ve never slept with a Handsome Brute but I believe we’ll manage.”

************

Today, 1:13 am

Your cell phone keeps on vibrating on the nightstand; attempting to ignore the insufferable noise might wake up Bane: you exhausted your husband last night and he has to recharge. You’ll probably need his services by morning time so… might as well make an effort for his sake.

Great, it’s The Joker.

“Hello?” you keep your voice down.

“I was thinking,” the insomniac King of Gotham gets straight to the core of the issue without apologizing for the late call. “Next time Bane’s out of town and you don’t accompany him, I should take you out to dinner; then we can get some stuff out of our system.”

Is he for reals?!

“I have a better proposal!” you hiss, irritated. “Next time Bane’s out of town without me, you’ll take your girlfriend out to dinner and then you can get whatever you want out of your system with her!! I’ll wait for my husband and then when he comes home he’ll know how to take care of my system!! GOT IT??!!” you hang up and J is displeased at your behavior:

“How fucking rude!” he puffs, cuddling next to Kara; she’s snoozing after her misfortune. 

“Who’s that?” your spouse groans.

“Uggghh,” you snuggle to his chest, aggravated by J’s crap.

“Idiot…” HB wraps both naked bodies tighter in the fluffy cover since he guessed the name; your reaction is enough clue.

Ghost pecks his shoulder and gradually relaxes, 100% convinced of the only truth in her life: if she ends up with nothing again, as long as he’s there she will still have everything.

Part 1: diyunho(.)tumblr(.)com/post/187322128171/the-joker-x-reader-ghost-part-1

Also read: MASTERLIST

diyunho(.)tumblr(.)com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

You can also follow me on AO3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[jennycalendar]

bad dreams

read it on ao3!

SO. i have been thinking about giles/jenny/anya as a concept for like a week now, & finally decided to try my hand at writing it, esp. since i have tentative ideas for a much larger fic involving them. a lot of this is to test the waters.

but like...i have a Lot Of Goddamn Emotions about how all three of them are isolated in ways of their own choosing, & how it would feel for all of them--particularly anya--to have solid, healthy relationships in their lives.

this fic is thanks in part to @jackalopingintothevoid, who listened to me ramble about g/j/a for a Really Long Time yesterday. love u a WHOLE bunch.

There were some moments—not many, but some—where Anya felt like she was ridiculously behind the curve with regards to Jenny and Rupert. She supposed a lot of it had to do with the fact that Jenny and Rupert had known each other a lot longer than she’d known both of them, and shared a whole bunch of experiences that she hadn’t had any part in—but some of it was just because this whole thing was really new, and Anya was really nervous. It felt like twice the pressure, because now she had two people who might suddenly realize they didn’t like her and didn’t want her and didn’t need her.

She loved them so much, though, which was why it made moments like these hard: Jenny was crying, little shaky sobs, as she buried her face in Rupert’s shoulder. Rupert was rocking her with a practiced ease, humming a song Anya didn’t know; Anya felt like an intruder.

“Come here, Anya,” said Rupert suddenly.

Heart in her throat, Anya obliged, scooting a little closer across the bed until her shoulder bumped Rupert’s. Jenny lifted her head, eyes blotchy, and sort of bumped her forehead against Anya’s in an all but companionable way. “Hi,” she whispered hoarsely.

“Bad dream?” Anya inquired, feeling stupid for even having to ask the question.

But Jenny smiled a little, reaching up to stroke Anya’s cheek. “Getting better,” she said.

Rupert was giving Anya that Look that meant he knew what she was worrying about, and was about to try and prove to her how ridiculous it was. Just as Anya was opening her mouth to try and stop him from doing—whatever it was he was going to do, Rupert said, “Here, Jenny—” and shifted Jenny over to Anya in one smooth motion.

Anya, who hadn’t been expecting this, and who was just slightly smaller than Jenny, fell ungracefully back against the pillows, Jenny falling along with her. She felt Jenny begin to giggle, still a little shaky, but happy nonetheless. “Do you need a little more warning next time?” Jenny whispered.

In answer, Anya tugged Jenny up and kissed her, still feeling that frustrated inadequacy. Jenny was so sweet, and so funny, and Anya loved her so much but she was barely able to help—

Jenny hummed, a pleased, contented sound, and kissed Anya back, snuggling into her as she pulled away. “Rupert?” she murmured, eyes already fluttering shut.

Rupert gave Anya a little thumbs-up. That made Anya smile. Then he leaned across Jenny and gave Anya a soft, solid kiss, the same kind of kiss that Anya had been doing her best to give Jenny: comforting, and warm, and I-love-you-always. “All right?” he asked. It wasn’t really clear who this was directed at.

“Mmm,” said Jenny, who seemed to be falling back asleep. On Anya’s shoulder.

“You have a pillow,” said Anya, who really didn’t want to wake up with arm cramps.

“Yes,” Jenny agreed, not moving. “My girlfriend. Best pillow.”

“Turnabout is fair play, isn’t it?” said Rupert.

“You know what, Rupert,” said Anya, “you are more than large enough to support both of us when we require it, and the next time I hear you complaining about having to act as a pillow for two of the most beautiful women on the planet—”

Rupert lay down on his side and moved closer to Jenny, beginning to rub her back. To Anya, he said, “You know, before you, calming her down after a nightmare like that one took at least half an hour.”

“You’re just being nice,” said Anya a little glumly.

“Yes, I am,” said Rupert, looking at Anya like she was very stupid. “That’s rather the point of being in love with someone.”

Reluctantly warmed—the phrase didn’t lose its novelty no matter how many times Rupert or Jenny said it to her—Anya smiled, absently stroking Jenny’s hair. Jenny sighed in her sleep. “I love you too,” she said, and it wasn’t really clear who that was directed at either. Didn’t matter. She loved both of them, anyway.

Rupert had nightmares too, obviously. Watchers always did. He woke up shaking, then shook off Jenny’s hand when she reached out. “It’s fine,” he said, sharp and a little strangled. “Just—I need a moment, if you both don’t mind.”

But that didn’t seem right to Anya. Rupert was always putting distance between himself and other people when he was hurting, and it was ridiculous, and all it really did was hurt him more. And Anya loved Rupert, and he was so soft and kind when other people needed it, so—she moved forward on the bed, then gripped his shoulder until he looked up at her. “Hi, Rupert,” she said, rubbing her nose against his. “Hey.”

Rupert made a little sobbing noise and sort of fell forward, his cheek on Anya’s shoulder. Anya glanced over at Jenny, and saw that Jenny was already untangling herself from the nest of blankets, moving in to kiss the top of Rupert’s head. “How’s it going?” she whispered.

“Could be better,” said Rupert into Anya’s shoulder.

“Yeah?” Jenny murmured. “Wanna talk about it?”

“No,” said Rupert unsteadily, raising his head. He looked almost embarrassed. “Anya, I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant—I hoped you would never have to see—”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” said Anya with a huff.

“It’s a moment of weakness,” said Rupert quietly.

“So?” said Jenny. “Everybody has them.”

Rupert exhaled. Then he said, “I only—I rather hoped that Anya would see me as someone…braver. Than I am.”

Anya made an extremely indignant noise. “You take that back!” she said, and pulled Rupert up to press a firm, angry kiss to his mouth. “You are the bravest man I know, Rupert Giles, and if I hear you ever say anything to the contrary again, I will whack you upside the head with the nearest pillow!”

“Now that’s a pep talk I can get behind,” said Jenny, grinning. “And that goes double on the pillow whacking, Rupert.” She moved in, giving Rupert another kiss. “We love you, remember? All of you. Nightmares are never, ever going to change that.”

“I know they won’t for you, Jenny,” said Rupert, who was now giving them both a small, uncertain smile. “I suppose I was just…unsure as to whether they would for Anya.”

“Short of you torching the Magic Box and stealing all my money, I don’t think anything could change the fact that I love you,” Anya informed him. She turned to Jenny, grinning softly. “And that goes for you too, of course.”

“Noted,” said Jenny, and kissed Anya—that same I-love-you-always kiss that Anya was still getting used to. “So. Bed?”

Anya lay down, pulling Rupert with her, and Jenny snuggled into Rupert’s other side. “We love you,” Anya whispered again, and her heart did a little happy flutter when Rupert’s face finally relaxed all the way. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Rupert whispered back, hand reaching to tangle with Anya’s.

Anya didn’t have nightmares in the same sense as Rupert and Jenny. There weren’t many monsters that ex-vengeance demons were scared of; you’ve seen one creepy demon guy, you’ve seen them all. But sometimes she did dream about Rupert and Jenny—and not in the nice, fun, sexy sense, where she woke up a little turned on and then woke them up so they could do something about it. She’d dream that they would tell her they didn’t need her anymore, and that they’d never really needed her to begin with, and that there had only ever been room enough for them to love each other. And they’d be kind about it, which would always make it hurt more than anything angry or violent. They’d be kind, and gentle, and, and—

Anya woke up with a sharp gasp, pressing her hands to her face and hoping against hope that Rupert and Jenny wouldn’t notice. Both of them were usually pretty deep sleepers, and usually she was able to handle these kinds of things without them noticing, it was fine, it was fine—

“Baby,” Jenny murmured, stirring, and tugged at Anya’s pajama top. “Come back to bed.”

Lowering her hands, Anya tried to say something placating yet witty in return, but her words all seemed stuck in her throat.

“Anya?” Jenny sat up, alert and a little worried. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Anya didn’t answer. Couldn’t answer, mostly. Couldn’t stop thinking about how Jenny and Rupert had always been such a cute couple, and how couple really was the key word right there, and how she couldn’t possibly compete with either of them if they decided that somebody had to go—

Jenny moved forward, cupping Anya’s face in her hands. “Hey, sweetie,” she said. Jenny didn’t usually call Rupert pet names, but she sure used a lot of them for Anya. Something about that made Anya feel better—like she really was somebody special to Jenny. “Can you tell me about it?”

“You never ask Rupert to tell you about it,” said Anya waspishly.

“You’re not anything like Rupert,” said Jenny patiently.

Oh boy. That did it. Jenny was looking at Anya all kind, and this was gonna be the moment where she realized that Anya wasn’t like Rupert, wasn’t someone Jenny wanted around all the time, and all of a sudden Anya couldn’t help herself and just started crying. She saw Jenny’s eyes go wide, heard the rustle of blankets that meant Rupert was probably awake too, and tried to remind herself that this wasn’t something she wanted to talk about with them, not while she was all insecure and shaky—

“Darling,” she heard Rupert murmur, and then he was hugging both of them at the same time, somehow. God, it really did pay off to have a boyfriend twice your size. Jenny was stroking Anya’s hair the same way she stroked Rupert’s, and Rupert was humming that same song he’d always hummed to Jenny, and—

“Please don’t leave me,” Anya whispered. “I love you so much. Please don’t go away.”

“Oh,” said Jenny. Her voice broke. “Oh, Anya—baby—what made you think we ever would?”

“Everybody—everybody always goes away,” Anya said unsteadily, raising her head to look at Jenny. “And you two love each other so much, a-and you were together long before I was even in Sunnydale, and if this thing ever goes south, it’s not gonna be one of you who ends up with nobody.”

Jenny and Rupert looked shocked, and hurt, and like neither of them really knew what to say to that.

“I’m okay with it,” said Anya. “I-I get it. You two have known each other longer, you’re the couple in this relationship—”

“Stop,” said Rupert. “Anya.” He sounded near tears himself. “Do you honestly think you’re just—how could you possibly—”

“I think I’m gonna try my hand at this one,” said Jenny, and bumped her forehead against Anya’s the same way she had when it had been her nightmare. “Anya, did you know that I’ve told all of two people that I’m in love with them?”

Anya definitely had not known this.

“You wanna try and guess who those people are?” said Jenny.

There was a lump in Anya’s throat. She swallowed, but it didn’t go away.

“Rupert,” said Jenny, “and you. Okay?” She kissed Anya, soft and solid. “You mean so much to me,” she said. “Just you. Not attached to Rupert, or as an add-on to me and him—I love you, Anya.”

“Seconded,” said Rupert, who seemed to be doing his best not to cry. “Good god, Anya, I-I had no idea you thought—” He turned Anya’s face towards his and kissed her too, then pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I love you,” he whispered, and it felt like Anya was hearing it for the first time all over again.

God, they loved her, and it made Anya feel so stupid for doubting them, even in the back of her head.“I’m so sorry!” she sobbed. “I didn’t mean—I was just scared—”

“I know, honey,” Jenny whispered, “that’s kinda the way nightmares go, remember?” She tugged Anya over and kissed her again, then gently pushed Anya back down onto the bed, rolling over to lie down next to her.

Rupert was looking at them both with this half-heartbroken expression. It was clear Anya’s admission had affected him pretty deeply.

“Come here, Rupert,” said Anya, unable to keep the impatience out of her voice. She very much wanted to be the one in the middle, this time around, but there wasn’t any middle if Rupert wasn’t there too—

Oh. Okay. Now she got it. It wasn’t just Jenny-and-Rupert plus Anya, it was Jenny-and-Rupert-and-Anya. Anya would never be able to give up Rupert for Jenny, or leave Jenny for Rupert—and it worked just the same for them, too. “Rupert,” said Anya, feeling a kind of transcendental joy, “can you come here now, please?”

Rupert registered the change in her voice, and smiled, soft and a little shy. He settled himself in on Anya’s other side, resting his head on her stomach, reaching up to take her hand in his. “You know we love you, Anya, don’t you?” he murmured.

“Hmm,” said Anya happily. “Tell me again.”

Jenny started giggling, burying her face in Anya’s shoulder. Rupert rolled his eyes a little, smiling indulgently, and kissed Anya’s knuckles.

“I love you too,” said Anya. “Both of you.”

“That’s kinda the point, isn’t it?” said Jenny, and tugged Anya into a kiss.

[joeljoelwarr]

Dating Park Jimin Would Include:

Warning: none, maybe?

Genre: f l u ff

okay

oof this will be easy its just me ranting

i lied this was actually lowkey hard because i couldn’t think of a meeting scenario

i apologize XD

oK aY 

SO

Y’all meet in like the most obscure place i stg

it’s the middle of a street at like midnight,

no one is around

barely any lights are on

you think he’s probably going to murder you and wear your skin as a coat

because he’s running towards you

and he suddenly stops and just

“oH MY GOD I DIDN’T SEE YOU Im so sorry i was running because im scared of the dark”

you just smile

just a little

and for som e  r e a s o n

he walks you home despite your protests and various forms of

“but then you’re in the dark longer”

oof he 100% tries to be sweet and kind and not shake

but he fails

and so technically

you’re comforting him

not the other way around

b u t

when you get there you pull him inside for a moment and he

pfft

he just

“you’re not going to shear my face off and wear it as a mask are you?”

“what no”

you just grab a marker and you write your number on his arm

and he’s a little endeared 

because you just dealt with his anxious ramblings

and so he agrees to call you

boi takes a wEEK to call you he’s so busy worrying about whether or not you actually want him to that he forgets to do it 

Dates

you answer the phone just completely confused 

you never got his name and yet you mysteriously gave this mysterious man your number

boi you gonna get hurt that way

anyways

you answer and the first thing he says is 

“i FORGOT TO CALL YOU I'M SORRY”

and you laugh

and he feels all of his nerves melt away

and he asks you out

and because he’s an idol

y’all meet super late

again you’re like

“b u t d a r k n e s s”

he kinda doesn't care

because you’re there

y’all somehow find a small restaurant that’s somehow open still

oof this is cute

he makes you try this thing

and you’re not sure how you feel about it

but he tells you that it’s mochi ice cream

“you look like a mochi”

he is suddenly so enamored with you after that

he has never before believed that he looked like a mochi

but one sentence from you and he suddenly can’t deny it

Cuddling

OOF THE GOOD PART

Jimin loves watching shows with you, even if he has zero clue what’s going on

even if its supernatural and terrifies him

as long as you like it

he’ll watch it with you

b u t

he likes to lay back against the corner of the couch arm

and so you just kinda lay against him 

and he loves it because he can watch your expressions while you’re watching the show

and you love it because you can hear his heartbeat

when you’re sad, he’ll hug you quietly

and make sure you know that you’re loved 

especially when it’s a family thing

or a friend thing

and when he’s sad

you tend to buy ice cream and make sure to cuddle him

because he’s hard on himself 

and he needs to be treated softly during these times

because he’ll treat himself roughly

oof i made myself cry

i apologize

Ma R r I aGE

okay so at this point you’ve both been through thick and thin

long nights and short ones

long months of waiting

and short days of patience

you have been through it all

and yet your relationship has lasted through it all

and he spent so long picking out a perfect ring

months 

almost an entire year

and he finally chose a rose gold band with a beautiful diamond resting on top

the small diamonds inside of the band is what costed the most

but for you he’d spend all the money he had

he brought you out to a park in the middle of the night

and you were so confused

(by now he’s no longer scared of the dark he’s okay boo)

but he brought you to a small area where he had hung up lights

and laid a blanket out

and you guys had a picnic

with all your favorite foods

(+ mochi ice cream of course)

and you were watching the stars and the moon

when he pulled out the ring box from his pocket

and he was just sitting there with it open

so he said your name

so you’d look over at him

and you dropped everything and sat up so quickly

“Y/n, uh, this is going to be anything but perfect because i stupidly didn’t practice,

but you are my rock. you keep me grounded, you make me feel better when i mess up, you help me through the dark times and the bad days.

you make good days better, and better days great,

and i want that to continue.” 

he slowly tried to get on one knee from his position in criss-cross

dumba** cutie ily

and you didn’t even let him finish his question

“Y/N L/N, will you-”

you tackled him

and he totally dropped the ring

it took you guys two hours to find it in the grass with only flashlights and the rays from the hanging lights

it was hard

but when you put it on he could see you beaming at it so fondly

and so it made him beam at you so fondly

and y’all are just so fond of each other

Wedding

Now, y’all had a moderately normal wedding, not too big, not too small, but big enough that there was a lot of food.

you didn’t allow alcohol (other than champagne) because you didn’t want to have to drag people out drunk

you also didn’t want people throwing up

jimin agreed

namjoon gave the most awkward speech ever but it made jimin cry and hug him so it was worth it

your best friend embarrassed you with a story from college

it was great okay

your outfit was amazing

he looked fantastic

skip forward to that night,

im not even kidding

you two were so tired

you just fell on the bed and went directly to sleep

no messing around or anything

b u t

the next morning

y e s.

now we all know jimin is kinky af

but this is probably one of the few times (other than the rest of the times that week of your honeymoon) that he wouldn’t be 

because he wanted it to nice and sweet

not the other stuff

because you guys just got married

so he was like sweet through the whole thing

(unless you’re not someone who wants sex, then you sat and watched movies the whole morning because he’s sweet and wouldn’t push you to do something you didn’t want to)

a n y w a y s

you’ve been married for about four years when you got pregnant (or if you are a male/asexual/other you found out the adoption papers went t h r o u g h/you found a willingsurrogate)

he was so excited

he literally ran out of the house about to rush to tell the guys

before running back in and kissing you so intensely

he was very happy

he dragged you to tell the guys

and he called both of y’alls parents

they were just as excited

you were a little flustered not gonna lie

so y’all had three kids together

two boys and one girl

you agreed that once you had a girl you would have no more

because you wanted both genders

one of your sons turned out to be gender fluid

which both of you were perfectly alright with (freaking fight me if you’re not, i will break you.)

“yissss i got the whole set”

“j i m i n”

regardless, older siblings were very protective of younger sibling

she hated it tbh

but appreciated it nonetheless

but n ON E were as protective as jimin when she got a boyfriend

n o n e

you were more than willing lemme tell you that

when she married the guy jimin cried

heavily

REGARDLESS

THIS WAS LONG

I APOLOGIZE

have jimin’s favorite picture of your daughter as an apology

how cute

okay bye

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “The Bucket List” part 2

Two months after breaking up with The Joker, you found out the bad news. You didn’t have a choice but to ask for his help and J didn’t even show up for the meeting. Of course he didn’t care, but now that he heard why you wanted to see him so badly, it might be too late for any amendments.

Part 1: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/161143650396/the-joker-x-reader-the-bucket-list

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/161645099431/the-joker-x-reader-the-bucket-list-part-3

8:30am - your home

You quietly get out of bed, groggy from the meds you have to take at 6am. The Joker is still sleeping and you try not to wake him up. After a few steps a wave of violent cough hits and you cover your mouth, rushing for the bathroom. You close the door behind you and keep coughing above the sink, a few drops of blood staining the white marble. You turn on the water to cover the sounds, hoping J won’t hear you.

After a few moments you calm down and wash your face, starting to brush your teeth.

“Pumpkin, are you OK?” he impatiently knocks on the door.

“Yes, I’m fine, go back to sleep please,” you muffle the words, finishing your morning routine.

J walks in and you run behind the bamboo panel, starting to take your PJ’s off, getting ready for a shower.

“Why do you always hide behind that?” The Joker crosses his arms on his chest, waiting for the reply. You are so self-conscious about your appearance you don’t really want him to see you naked anymore.

“Umm…I just think it’s better to…”

“Get out of there!” he commands, sucking on his teeth.

“I can’t…” you whisper, gulping.

“I wanna see you, stop hiding behind that thing all the time!”

You quickly wrap yourself in a towel and step away from the screen. The Joker rolls his eyes, leaning against the mahogany cabinet.  

“Drop the towel, Doll!”

You whimper, anxious to his demand:

“I don’t want to…Don’t make me!”

“Drop the damned towel, Princess!” he snaps and you slowly uncover your body, not remembering feeling so vulnerable in your entire life.

“This is humiliating,” you stare at him while he grins, pleased you complied so fast.

“Like I’ve never seen you naked before,” he scoffs, analyzing the view.

“I look horrible!” you blur out, covering your breasts with one hand.

“Well,” he pretends to debate,” you’re scrawny and I have to admit the lack of hair doesn’t give you extra points, but…”

You gasp, frowning.

“You definitely are a terrible person!”

“Yet another skill I take great pride in. Anyway, my point is that it could be worse, Kitten.We gotta work with what we have, hm? Turn around.”

You take a deep breath, nervous as hell.

“Not too bad, Y/N, but you do have a big butt. If you go in the backyard like this, I think we’ll have another solar eclipse.”

“What?!” you turn your head to glare, alarmed.

“Ha!” J snorts, “I made you look.”

You start laughing, embarrassed:

“You’re so horrible!”

“U-hum. Com’ere!” he signals and you hesitantly go in his arms. “I believe that…” You don’t let him finish. You reach for his lips and kiss him, pulling down on his boxers.

“Well, well, well,” he purrs, “What is this, Doll?”

“Something on my bucket list,” you mutter in his ear, still tense.

“I don’t recall seeing this on that piece of paper,” he teases, smirking.

“I didn’t have a chance to write it down,” you trace the playing cards tattoo on his neck as innocently as possible.

“Interesting,” he lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. “Just admit you want to get in my boxers.”

You giggle, not answering.

“You’re so light,” J sulks, beginning to walk back towards the bedroom. “You think you can handle me, Princess?”

You raise your shoulders up, kissing him again.

“Oh, yeah,” you moan, determined to make love to him even if it kills you.

“Two baldies having sex, that’s pretty hot, huh?” he winks at you and then bites your lower lip, placing you on the bed.

“Not quite,” you chuckle, caressing his hairless head.

“Speak for yourself, woman; I’m still handsome. Plus, I don’t have a huge butt,” The Joker maliciously laughs when he sees how big your eyes got.

“You’re the worst person ever!” you yank his hand, stunned.

“From all the skills I’m proud of, this is my top favorite. Now stop praising me, I’m starting to blush,” he dramatically accentuates his little speech with a sneer, glad he got you all worked up.

3pm

You didn’t want to go with him at the warehouse because you don’t feel too good, but J insisted. You see the henchmen running around with a bunch of boxes, making space and getting rid of the old stuff you guys didn’t use in forever.

“What did you want to show me?” you lean on his arm, grateful you already took your painkillers since your body is getting stiff again.

“Your stupid bucket list, Doll,” he explains. “You wanted to go to Japan and you are aware we can’t because we’ll get caught. We don’t use this place very often so I got you a bunch of Japanese items; do what you want with them. Tell our men where you want everything and they’ll move it for you.”

He senses you’re squeezing his hand really hard and your eyes get watery.

“Spare me, Y/N!” he elbows you, irritated. “Let’s skip the drama!” but he kisses your temple and you nod in acceptance, excited to see what he got for you.

“What else did you have on that’s stupid list? Oh, yeah: a family,” The Joker answers his own question, mad about it. You want to say a few things but he keeps on yapping.

“Why do you need a family for, huh? Nothing but trouble. See these jerks here?” and he points out towards the goons laboring hard to accomplish the task at hand. “They’ll do whatever you ask them and won’t fight back. Better than a family. And you have me. I hate you, but we gotta work with what we have, OK?”J gets angrier since he hopes you won’t get very emotional again; he can’t stand it.

“OK…” you are fast to please him but start crying, unable to hold it in. The henchmen keep on glaring your way, rapidly averting their gaze when they realize there’s something very intimate going on between the both of you: you’re sobbing on J’s shoulder and he has this “fed up with everything” expression on his face while holding your waist. The lack of hair makes him look even more imposing, menacing and vicious.

8:03pm

The Joker dragged you to one of the clubs where he will have a meeting with one of his smugglers that has a new medication for you. Another experimental product found only on the black market that might help.

It’s your IV day so you retreated to the sound proof room, trying to take a nap until the IV bag is done.  J is in the VIP section, talking to Nix. Frost is there also, keeping an eye on things. The discussion is going reasonably smooth until the asshole forgets who he’s talking to.

“I can’t believe you’re dating the same bitch, Mister J!” he puffs, acting surprised. Jonny lifts his eyebrows, ready to react but his boss didn’t signal him yet. The Joker holds his breath for a few long seconds, then loudly exhales.

“Yeah, same bitch,” he stares at the guy with a crazy sparkle in his blue eyes.

“So the pills are for her? I heard she’s really sick, but still alive and kicking. Tough bitch I guess,” Nix laughs, confident of his funny remarks. He has a reputation of being fierce and stepping over boundaries because he has access to a lot of merchandise on the black market that not too many smugglers can obtain.

“Tough bitch indeed,” J agrees, holding his breath again.

“Word is you shaved your head for her. Now, I’ve never thought I’ll see a man like you in love, Mister J,” Nix snickers, taking the tablets out of the suitcase.

Is this fucking prick for reals?! Frost thinks, waiting for a sign and he finally sees J tapping his fingers on the cane. Jonny cracks his neck, relieved.

It’s gonna be my pleasure, he grins, punching his fists together.

9pm

The door being busted makes you open your eyes. J turns the lights on and pushes Nix in front of you, kicking him in the shin so hard he collapses on his knees.

“What’s going on, baby?” you rub your face, getting up on your elbow.

“This asshole is here to apologize!” The Joker barks and you have no clue about this new outburst. “Apologize to my Queen!!” he yells at the guy who’s in a pretty bad shape with a black eye, busted lip and a few visible bruises.

“I-I’m sorry…” Nix stammers, groaning in pain.

“For what?!” you feel the need to ask, baffled.

“You don’t need to know!” J shouts. “You are owed apologies and that’s it!”

You don’t fight it and slide to the left corner of the velvet couch, careful not to move the needle in your vein.

“Apologize for waking her up too, you bastard!” and J lifts Nix up, violently pulling him towards the door where Frost is waiting to take over. “I’m s-sorry…for waking you up,” the guy stutters as he gets shoved out of your sound proof retreat.

“Take care of this!” The joker tells Jonny, still fuming.

“Anything I should know?” you reach for your anti-nausea medication and take some.

“Nope, go back to sleep,” J hisses, displeased at how the night turned out. “After your IV is done, we’ll go for a ride.”

“That sounds nice.” You feel like crap but you still give him a smile.

He turns off the lights and hears you:

“Were you defending my honor or something?”

“What honor, Pumpkin?!” he grumbles, shutting the door so you can rest in darkness.

10:05pm

J returned to the VIP room and he’s typing on his laptop. Frost is overseeing what’s going on in the club behind the smoky windows. You part the gold beads and step inside, barely seeing where you’re going; your vision is clouded from the liquid medication you just finished.

“I’m done, baby,” you announce, holding onto the armchair. “I’m drained, I don’t think I can go on that ride tonight. I need to rest, it hurts all over. Can we please go tomorrow?” you beg, closing your eyes when the stomach-turning vertigo sensation creeps up on you.

The Joker gives you a cold stare, still flustered from the earlier incident and not happy to find out about your rain check. He goes back to his typing, mumbling:

“If you’re so miserable, why don’t you hurry up and die, hmm?” Frost immediately peeks your way, shocked about what came out of his boss’s mouth; he’s seen you having a lot of bad days before, but you never looked more in pain like you do now.

“Well…” you dig your nails in the purple leather and sigh, heartbroken. “If there is one thing I am very good at lately is dying. So… don’t worry, it will happen soon enough,” and you rush out, stumbling a few times while trying to get away from his venom as fast as possible.

5 more minutes pass and J finally stops typing, annoyed.

“Shit… … … Frost, go get her!” he voices out and Jonny moves away from the window and stops in front of him, speaking up without hesitation:

“Sir, that was very cruel to say to somebody struggling to survive from one day to the other.”

J’s temple is twitching, definitely not liking what Jonny just articulated with such vehemence.

“Did I ask for your opinion, Frost?!” he raises his voice, pissed at the trespass.

“No, sir.”

“Is this a rebellion of some sort?!”

“No, sir, I wouldn’t dare,” Jonny replies with a calm attitude, figuring out this is the best way to go about it.

“Then shut your mouth and bring me my girl!!!” The Joker snarls, considering blowing his trusted man’s brains out.

“Yes, sir,” is the last thing he discerns before the deafening music takes over the club.

10:20pm

Frost couldn’t find you and one of the bouncers reports that saw you driving away in J’s SUV.  The news doesn’t go well with The Clown Prince of Crime.

“How is Y/N going to drive in the state she’s in?! She has to take her medications and can’t skip doses!!” J screams at everyone, taken aback by the conflict he created himself, not that he would ever admit it’s his fault. “We have to find her!!!” he directs the operation, instructing all of them to seek in some places he guesses you might be. They are searching all night, unable to find any traces of you.

Finally, around 7am, Richard reports he found J’s car parked near the beach, close to your favorite spot you like to go and look at the ocean. It’s a small, hidden strip of sand behind the highway; at least you went to one of the places The Joker thought you might go to. J doesn’t even know when he got there, driving so fast he almost got unwanted attention from the cops.

You spent the night on the beach, having to stop a lot of times on your way there because you had a hard time seeing and concentrating on driving. You didn’t take your pills, not really giving a damn since they don’t really help anyway as far as you’re concerned. You have a bag full of all the stuff you take, taking out a few at a time and tossing them in the ocean from the flat rock you found refuge on at the crack of dawn.

“That’s 2000 dollars a piece on the black market you’re throwing away Doll,” you hear J’s voice and ignore him, continuing to do as you please. You’re wheezing pretty loud, fighting to breathe since the salty, strong air puts quite the strain on your weakened lungs. You don't’ care: what’s another issue added to the others?!

You shrivel under your thick hoodie, covering your face even more, not wanting to see him.

J comes and sits by you, quietly watching the waves crushing on the nearby stones. He hears you sniffle but doesn’t attempt to uncover your head. His right arm reaches in front of you, holding a purple capsule in the palm of his hand:

“If you take the new med, you don’t have to take the white and brown tablets anymore. I’ll trade you…yes?” The Joker’s voice gets really deep as you move away from him, not replying. “Fine, then I’ll take it! I don’t want to waste 5000 dollars on just one capsule,” and he almost puts it in his mouth when you scoot back towards him and slap his hand. He drops the pill on the sandy rock and you are irked:

“Are you insane?!”

“Is this a trick question, kid?” he licks his lower lip, intrigued.

“It will make you sick, it’s not for healthy people!” you slowly blink and turn to finally face him. He inspects you and it doesn’t look great: your eyes are red from crying all night and the grimace of pain on your face lets him know you didn’t even take your painkillers; your labored breathing makes you shake a bit and the dried blood stains on the sleeve you used to clean your lips with after coughing disturb him.

“Somebody has to take it, it’s expensive!” The Joker has a smooth comeback (in his opinion).

“You have a shitty strategy, you know that?” you pick the capsule up from the sand, wiping it on your pants and swallow it, grumpier than you were before he arrived.

Without any warning, he buries his face in your lap, wrapping his arms around your knees. You try to push him away but he won’t budge.

“I don’t want you to die,” you hear the muttered sentence and it strikes a chord in your heart. “I don’t hate you,” he persists and you whimper when you feel his grip getting tighter. “But you can’t tell anybody, it will ruin my reputation,” he rambles on and you snort, wiping your tears. “As your knight in shining armor…”

“You’re not my knight in shining armor!” you interrupt, softly kicking his arm with your knee.

“Oh, I’m soooorry!” he lifts his head up from your lap, shifting so he can look up to you.” I didn’t see a huge line of suitors fighting for the title!” J sarcastically indicates. “You think that loser will ever show up?? Forget about it, it’s a myth! I’m the only one around so we gotta work with what we have, OK?… Just nod a yes, woman, and stop crying! Can we skip the drama for once?” he kisses your wrist and inhales your scent again. “You smell nice, what is it?” he diverts your attention since he masters this skill also.

“Death,” you divulge, smiling through tears.

He growls, exasperated, pinching your side.

“Shut up! You’re not dying!”

You take the small roll-on perfume decorated with a silver skull out of your pocket, showing him the name: Death.

“Why would you wear a fragrance with this name?!” J snaps, irked.

“It smells nice, you said so yourself,” you defend your choice, forgetting about your emotional surge.

“Gimme!” he urges you and you hand the tiny vial over. He takes it, glances at it for a few seconds then gets up and tosses it as far as he can in the ocean.

You gasp.

“Did you just…throw away my perfume?!”

“Yeah, it sucks! Use another one, you have so many,” The Joker cuts you off, keeping both hands on his bald head, satisfied at his accomplishment. Before you can protest some more, he proceeds with new updates:

“Tonight I’ll have Commissar Gordon kidnaped for you. I’ve been working on it for a month; we’ll take him to your Japanese oasis. Another thing on your dumb bucket list taken care of. “

You have such a happy smirk flourishing on your lips he feels he has no choice but to sit down by you again.

“You’ll get him for me?!”

“U-hum… Wanna kill him?” he pretends not to notice your sudden cough that calms down after you cover your mouth with the side of your hoodie. “Kill him?! No way, he’s my favorite; I just want to see him.”

“Huh?! I thought Batsy is your favorite!” J waves his hands around, vexed.

“No, Batsy is your favorite, mine is Gordon; you know that,” and you are so dizzy you lean to rest your forehead on his shoulder. The new med must be very strong, you can already tell.

“I don’t know who you are anymore, Pumpkin,” he rolls his eyes, faking his surprise.

“Fuck…” you whisper, sweating even if you are cold as ice. “This crap is messing me up, I think I need to go home now…” “Penthouse or your house?” J gives you the choice, instantly serious.

“My house, please,” you groan in pain when he helps you up. He signals you to get on his back and you obey, enjoying the piggyback ride. At this point it would be hard for you to walk anyway.

“Why do you have finding out who Batsy is on your list?! Like, why do we care to know who that jerk is ?! Our job is to keep him busy since he seems the type that gets bored easily, am I right? Hey, Doll, wake up,” he pats your leg and you moan, napping since you are so tired and uncomfortable. As soon as you get home, you’ll definitely need at least two painkillers.

The Joker continues to walk, basically talking to himself at this point.

“I know you also wanted to steal more diamonds but I can’t take you on a heist like this: consider it crossed off your idiotic Bucket list. I got you 3 boxes of jewelry so it should be fine for now. We gotta work with what we have, hm?”

He lifts you up higher on his back and struts on the beach.

“Hey, Y/N, I’ll send the boys to get the other vehicle… God, Princess, you’re so light,” he puckers his lips, listening to your heavy breathing in his ear. “I really don’t want you to die…” he stops in his tracks and gently spanks your thighs behind his back. “But I really do hate you, I lied when I said I don’t…”

“Mmmm…” you grumble in your sleep, probably out of it.

J takes advantage of you not being able to fight him and restarts walking:

“You know why it’s clouded? I bet you anything it is because of your big butt, hm? We are having a solar eclipse right now and you’re responsible,” he grins and squints his eyes when he senses your fingers nipping his skin.

“I heard that…” you protest, too tired to do more and doze off again.

The Joker mischievously snickers, sprinting towards the cars he can see in the distance.

He is not the ideal knight in shining armor and you are not the same woman you were before you got ill. But you gotta work with what you have.

Life’s too short to complain.

 Also read: MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist